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zaevauhm · 1 year

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Barcelona 4/4

word count 8.5k

this is the last chapter, mentions of anxiety + depression + sex + probably some other stuff

Tears started to roll down your cheeks, as Lewis crossed the finish line and the fireworks started, bringing home his 8th World Championship. The overwhelming emotions you were feeling had literally brought you to kneel down, covering your face in your hands, as your best friend kneeled next to you, keeping an arm around you and lightly stroking your lower back. You were overcome with pure happiness, the joy that you were sharing in Lewis’ victory was something that would be impossible to ever forget. It was so surreal, the way in which this unforgettable season had finally come to an end.

It was the toughest year you had known, and it had absolutely drained you of all of your energy. The number of flights, sleepless nights, tiring days, most of which you had spent by your boyfriends’ side. People had seen you before, waiting for him mainly by yourself, or with the few Mercedes engineers you had developed quite the friendship with. Something that shocked you, being the introvert that you were and all. The only negative was that people probably assumed that your relationship was simply one of his many short-lasting flings.

This night had made it all worth it. Lewis was your champion. He truly was the greatest that the sport had ever witnessed, he was yours, and now everyone would know it.

You felt Layla moving away from you, giving you some space, and you immediately knew what was going to happen next. Two big, strong arms lifting you up from the ground, until you found your face deeply buried in your boyfriends’ shoulder, as his arms quickly wrapped around you, making you feel warm inside. You couldn’t see his face, as he was still in his helmet and racing suit. You didn’t have to. The two of you had grown so in-tune with each other’s emotions, that even conversation wasn’t necessary at times. You felt him thanking you a million times as he held you closer to him than ever. You would never be able to explain to anybody what it felt like. No matter what was happening around you, no matter what kind of craziness would be going on, as long as Lewis was near you, you were safe and sound. You were shielded, guarded, protected from everything. ‘’It’s all for you, my love’’ he whispered, barely hearable, but you noticed.

‘’I love you so much, baby.’’ He spoke in between kisses, as the two of you messily tried to enter your hotel room in Abu Dhabi.

‘’Let me at least open the door, silly.’’ You laughed, trying to push Lewis off of you, as he settled behind you, keeping his arms around your waist and placing gentle kisses on your neck. You knew better, it would always be a futile attempt. He never was good at waiting, especially not for you. Once you managed to get the door open, he grabbed you, holding you in his arms as he muffed your giggles by pressing a soft kiss on your lips, meanwhile shutting the door behind him. He had just put you to bed, placing soft, loving kisses all over your body, when you noticed his phone wouldn’t stop ringing. ‘’Go answer it, baby. It’s probably your parents.’’ You spoke.

‘’They can wait.’’ He said, as his phone immediately rang again, making him let out a little sigh. You smiled at him, knowing he really doesn’t want to go and answer it. ‘’Don’t think I’m done with you.’’ He teases as he grabs your face with both his hands, leaving a quick kiss on your lips.

You smiled at Lewis’ back as he walked over to his phone, before uou made your way to the balcony, as you heard the sound of your boyfriend talking to his family fading in the background. All of a sudden, you noticed you were in desperate need for fresh air. Oh no…Here we go again. The anxiety had started to kick in, you had noticed as your muscles were slowly starting to tense up and your breathing had started to feel painfully sharp. Not now… please, was all that was repeating in your head. The same, never fully disappearing lump in your throat had made its’ appearance again.

Letting yourself sink in the comfortable chair under the humid UAE air, as you started to recollect on the last year, trying to steer your thoughts elsewhere. Ever since Barcelona, your life had changed completely. You tried to keep living your life as you knew it as much as possible, but it was pointless. Lewis basically kidnapped you all the time, making him join his races, his events, his duties. Wherever he had to be, he wanted you there by his side. Luckily for you, he never left your side. Never left you by yourself, always being the one to speak for you, always removing any pressure or nervousness from you.

Still, it was only when the calendar hit Interlagos, and your boyfriend took you with him to Brazil, that he couldn’t bear being without you at all anymore. Not even for a couple of weeks. You remember the memory of that weekend as clear as anything. The way you celebrated another one of his insane wins, the way you, for the first time had believed that he had truly fallen for you. It was the first time Lewis had told you he loved you, the first time the two of you had actually made love instead of fucking. You smile softly at the memory, no matter how many times you would re-visit it, it still warmed your heart the same. Brazil would always hold a special place in your heart. It’s where your love really evolved to something else, something that you shared privately between the two of you. You felt the lump in your throat sting even harder. Despite everything, your disease was an ever-lasting nightmare, that Lewis was fully aware of at this point. It had nothing to do with him, and everything with the broken life you had led before meeting him, that somehow never wanted to fully heal.

‘’Baby?’’ He almost whispered, not wanting to startle you. He stood behind you, placing his phone on the little side table, before making his way to you. Slowly he wrapped his arms around you, placing a soft kiss on the back of your head. You smiled, leaning against his arm, as a sign of gratitude. He knew you so well by now, always putting his own desires to the side, giving you exactly what you would need.

‘’I love you.’’ You whispered into the air in front of you, as you felt the anxiety stinging in your face, and the tears that were starting to form in your eyes.

‘’I know, baby. I know you love me.’’ Lewis sighed into the night sky. ‘’I love you more.’’

‘’Will you tell me what’s going on in that beautiful mind?’’ he continued, making you smile a little through your tears.

‘’I think I know why I’m feeling anxious tonight.’’

‘’Tell me.’’ Lewis spoke, with a slightly worried tone in his voice. Lewis moved to kneel in front of you and was now wiping one of your tears away with his thumb.

‘’I’m scared.’’ You started. ‘’I don’t know what I did to deserve you… And I’m afraid of the consequences…’’ ‘’Which consequences?’’ Lewis interrupted you. There you felt it again, the thought of leaving Lewis’ side. That awful, piercing pain as if someone had stabbed you into the core of your heart, slowly turning the knife, making you lightly nauseous at the spot.

‘’Look at us... You’re an 8th time world champion today, and you’ve got a girlfriend that’s crying over some stupid shit that’s not even relevant. You deserve someo…’’ ‘’Stop, please.’’ He interrupted you again.

‘’I’m just scared I won’t be able to deal with the pain of parting from you.’’ It was out before you knew it. It just spilled. He looked up at you with slightly furrowed brows, you noticed how he was trying to hide his slowly building up anger. ‘’Are you leaving me?’’ he asked. You could hear his voice cracking. He was usually good at hiding it, but not tonight. It made you feel even worse. ‘’Never.’’ You looked at him, tears rolling down your cheeks, exposing your tired face to him. ‘’I wouldn’t dream of leaving you, Lewis.’’

‘’You’re still unsure about my feelings for you?’’ he asked. You noticed your words were upsetting him. He had just exposed you, even after winning a race like this, you were the first person to get his attention, in front of the whole world to see. Where was he getting the patience from to deal with you and your crumbling mental health?

‘’No, it’s just… it’s this fucking anxiety, it ruins everything. Every beautiful thing and…’’ you cried, trying not to look into the worried eyes of your love.

‘’I won’t let it.’’ He said firmly. ‘’Do you hear me, Y/N?’’ You sighed through your tears, furrowing your brows, still not making eye contact with Lewis, as you let out a sad whimper. He took your hands in his, and moved closer to you, leaving you to lean closer into him, until your foreheads touch. ‘’It’s not going to, even if it feels like it is. As long as you’re here, I’m never leaving you.’’ He spoke, reassuring you. He didn’t know how to give up on you, this world champion of yours. ‘’If you can’t find the strength in yourself, you’ll find it in me.’’ You couldn’t do anything but stare at him, practically going numb before his eyes.

‘’You’re not alone anymore, you have to start to let me in, slowly.’’ He continued. ‘’Anything that you need, find it in me. I’ll fight for you, speak for you, you know I’d go to the ends of the earth for you.’’

‘’Most of all, Y/N…’’ he continues, sighing. ‘’I’m never going to let anything bad happen to you. You’re with me now, where you belong, no matter what your anxiety tells you.’’

‘’I know, my love.’’ You said, putting your trust in every word your boyfriend was telling you. Slowly coming to terms with the fact that he might just be right, you really didn’t have to fight all of your battles by yourself.

‘’Let me take you out of here, for a while. It will do you good.’’ Lewis said. You agreed, getting up and walking over to the bathroom, where you started to fix your appearance. You changed into a black oversized blouse dress, and let your hair fall down loosely, in its’ natural waves. Quickly you fixed your concealer and removing the smeared mascara that was covering your cheeks. Coming out of the bathroom to grab your small black purse, you noticed Lewis’ focus was nowhere near you, but on his phone. Typing quickly, furrowed brows. ‘’I’m ready.’’ You said, making him look up at you immediately. ‘’I’m so lucky, my god.’’ He spoke. ‘’Look at you.’’

His praise made you chuckle softly, as you made your way towards him, to give him a small kiss on his cheek. ‘’Thank you, my love. Shall we go?’’ you asked, as Lewis grabbed his car keys and opened the hotel rooms’ door for you.

You walked beside him, hand locked in his, as he guided you, down into the hotels’ parking garage. When he didn’t immediately open the passenger seats’ door for you, like he would always do, you couldn’t help but look over at him. He was standing at the drivers’ side of his car, holding the door open for you, and you couldn’t help but laugh at him a little. ‘’I want to see you drive.’’ He said, gesturing for you to get behind the wheel.

‘’Are you sure?’’ you asked, not moving from where you stood. Knowing you’re a perfect driver, with absolutely nothing to worry about, you still got a little nervous to drive for him. He was a man who you knew did not enjoy sitting in the passenger seat, at all.

‘’Yes, come here baby.’’

You got in, quickly fixed the rear mirror and put your seatbelt on, as Lewis lowered himself in the passenger seat. He was surprised at how fast you made yourself feel at home in a car you couldn’t have ever dreamt of driving before. It made his heart jump a little, seeing you so comfortably sharing in his pleasures. He got used to seeing you in his clothes, in his jackets, but driving him around was something different. You got out of the hotels parking, into the wide, open streets of Abu Dhabi. The car truly felt like water, the way it comfortably took you from one traffic light to the other, leaving Lewis completely mesmerized by the sight of seeing you drive for him for the first time.

Without really noticing it, your anxious feelings were slowly fading, as you focused on the song Lewis had played for you.

This terrible predicament you got me in Spelling your name in my mind Adding your last to mine Feels like we're stuck in time

You looked to your side, meeting the eyes of your boyfriend, who was looking at you as if you were the most captivating thing in his world. ‘’You’re so sexy like this.’’ He taught out loud. You smiled back at him, softly leaning your head back against his car seat.

Waking up to you Is all I want to do Every moment spent Play it all over again, mhmm

‘’It suits you.’’ He smiled. ‘’What does?’’ you asked, focusing on the road again, as the traffic light jumped to green.

‘’Driving a Mercedes.’’

You couldn’t help but smile. ‘’I am already driving one, remember?’’

‘’I know, I’m talking about this particular one.’’

‘’Yeah, I might steal her from you, don’t worry about it.’’ You joked.

City lights and beautiful sights were passing by you quickly, as you were speeding a little, Lewis keeping your right hand into his, gently squeezing it. After a while, Lewis noticed you were loosened up, and that your mind was no longer occupied by the same thoughts as an hour ago. You parked back at the same spot, turning the engine of the car off and handing Lewis his keys. ‘’Thank you for this.’’ You whispered into his mouth, before gently placing a kiss on his lips.

Lewis was right. The drive had done you more good than bad, and above all, you had actually gotten sleepy by now. Back in your hotel room, you made your way into the bathroom, quickly finishing your nightly routine, before grabbing one of Lewis’ shirts to sleep in. It was his favorite thing, having you steal his clothing pieces and leaving your scent in them. You heard him talking on the phone again, wondering who got his attention now, as it was close to 1 AM. You didn’t ask though; you were too tired to be bothered at this point. You slowly laid down in the bed, leaving Lewis talking to someone hastily. He came over to you, placed a kiss on your cheek as he wished you a good night, covering the speaker of his phone with his hand. ‘’Are you going out?’’ you mumbled, already halfway into your dreamworld. ‘’No, silly. I just have to finish some things, then I’ll join you.’’ He told you, while sitting next to you on the bed. ‘’I’m not going anywhere.’’ Was the last thing you heard before drifting into sleep completely. If only you knew what Lewis really meant.

You woke up by yourself in the big bed, to the sound of suitcases zipping up and footsteps softly moving in and out of the bathroom. ‘’What’s going on?’’ you mumbled into your pillow, arms slowly stretching from under the blanket that was barely covering you. ‘’Good morning to you too’’ Lewis chuckled.

You still weren’t used to the fact that your boyfriends’ days started around 6 AM, while you easily slept for 3-4 hours more. He never tried to change your morning routines, always leaving you to get fully rested, to take in all of the sleep you basically could.

‘’I’ve packed for you; we have to leave soon.’’ He spoke as he came sitting down at your bed side, admiring your bed hair and make-up less face.

You were suddenly aware of the fact that another racing season had ended, and that you haven’t spoken at all about your plans during the break. ‘’Are you sending me home?’’ You mumbled, unable to hide the sad tone in your voice. Home is with me now; Lewis almost spoke out loud. But he managed to keep his thoughts to himself. ‘’No, my love.’’

‘’I am taking you back to Brazil.’’ He smiled at your sleepy face. You smiled in your still very sleepy state, and slowly started to sit up straight, to take a sip of the water that was placed on your nightstand. This was going to be fun.

An hour later, you were sat in a private plane, across from Layla who had apparently grown more and more fond of her RedBull boyfriend, Daniel, who had joined the three of you. You hadn’t expected it, she usually doesn’t linger around the same person for too long, so she must have really liked him. ‘’I can’t believe we’re going back to Brazil.’’ She spoke happily, while you were distracted, checking your socials. So many photos of the two of you were spreading since last night, it was impossible to miss. You couldn’t help but read some of the comments but were satisfied to see that there was barely anything negative about you to read. People just knew nothing about you, as there was barely any information out about you. You and Layla both had closed Instagram accounts, which had made it even more difficult to make up assumptions. Still, there was a lot of speculation about who was the girl that had finally changed the relationship status of Hamilton. Up until you came around, he was the only single driver left on the grid, after all.

You looked back, to see Lewis and Daniel chatting, having some drinks together and laughing, all of a sudden even toasting loudly something you couldn’t quite hear, Lewis receiving pats on the shoulder from Daniel. You noticed Layla winking at Daniel, as well as sending him a smirky smile. Why did it feel like you were left out all of a sudden? You couldn’t help but wonder but didn’t want to show it at all. You just took your earphones out of your purse, as you scrolled through your Spotify library, looking for a song that would meet your mood. The whole flight, Lewis barely paid attention to you. Not that you really mind, you did love your private time and to be left with your thoughts for a while, still not completely sure what was happening, or what was going on in his mind, though. You leaned back onto the soft chair and covered yourself with a blanket and felt yourself drifting into sleep not long after. Only waking up a few hours later, as you almost arrived. Your focus drifted elsewhere, listening to the song that was playing in your ears.

Girl, I want you like you want me too I feel that energy (ooh, yeah) When you're on top of me (oh, yeah) I know your man, he ain't controllin' you But you still hesitate (ooh, no) 'Cause you chose loyalty (oh, yeah) And I know your history, met him before your peak (hey, hey) He's so connected to that woman that you used to be But-but-but this sex will cloud your memory A couple strokes to put it in, then you'll belong to me

Before long, you arrived at the gorgeous apartment that the four of you would share, overlooking what had soon became your favorite beach in the world. The heat and the sunny air of Ipanema filled your body with goosebumps, as you leaned over the balcony, soaking in the sunlight. Brazil was absolutely your favorite place to escape to. The vibe over there was insane, and the people even more so. Here you felt like you could be yourself, nobody cared about who you were or who your boyfriend was. It was the perfect getaway after spending so much time avoiding the media who were constantly trying their absolute best to discover just about anything about you.

Lewis and Daniel had left the two of you to unpack, unwind and spend some girl time together. You needed it, you would have probably asked for it, but somehow the fact that Lewis was the one who proposed it, had left you with a little bit of resentment towards him. Wasn’t it his idea to take you here? Wasn’t he supposed to make more effort to spend more time with you? Where did he disappear to, even? And why is Layla not caring about where Daniel hangs out at all?

‘’What’s wrong?’’ your best friend asked, sitting on the bed, unpacking some makeup bags. ‘’Nothing, why do you ask?’’

‘’You seem a little more quiet than usual.’’

‘’I’m not, at least I don’t want to be.’’ You began, walking towards her, leaning against the wall across from the bed. Layla knew you too well, you couldn’t hide your feelings from her at all. ‘’I’m still worried that Lewis isn’t really in love with me. It’s not that I don’t believe him, I just can’t seem to shake my thoughts. That he might just be staying with me out of pity.’’ You said, already expecting a bomb to drop on your head, curtesy of Layla. Much to your surprise, that didn’t happen. Layla had stayed calm, even looked away from you for a couple of seconds.

‘’You agree.’’ You said with a low, numb voice.

‘’I really don’t, babe. Lewis loves you, please don’t doubt that.’’

You had decided to spend the rest of the day without letting any negative thoughts interrupt you. The race season had ended, your boyfriend had won, you were in Rio de Janeiro with 3 people you adored. What more could you possibly want? It was probably just your anxiety making you seeing things that weren’t there, anyways.

Layla and yourself had gone out to get some groceries from the local market, planning to cook for yourselves and your boyfriends. Even if dating Lewis meant you basically never had to do anything yourself anymore, taking care of your loved ones was something you had learned during your relationship, and you didn’t want to give it up. Not completely, at least.

Two hours later, as the sun started to set in Rio, you found yourself in the kitchen, washing the dishes that you had used while preparing food. Layla was preparing the table, as music was playing from the living area. The big sliding door to the outside patio was wide open, a soft summer breeze flowing through the apartment. ‘’Hi ladies’’ you heard Lewis’ voice fill up the kitchen, a few seconds before his big hands were placed on your sides, making you giggle as your boyfriend kissed your cheek. ‘’There’s my girl’’ He whispered, before softly licking the skin beneath your ear, as he squeezed both your sides, now pressing himself against you from behind. ‘’Have you missed me?’’ He groans as he tightens his grip, making you feel nothing but his hands. ‘’Yes baby…’’ you whispered, as you slightly turned your head towards him, making you lean on his chest and looking up to him through your long lashes. Lewis moved to the side, making sure no one could see what he was doing. He had placed his hand on your inner thigh, on top of the flared, tight pants you were wearing. Slowly he moved up, the side of his hand stroking you between your legs, already making them feel weak. ‘’I can’t wait to be inside of you tonight, baby’’ He breathed into your ear, as his hand had now expertly grabbed a big chunk of your hair, pulling it even closer onto his chest. You let out a small whimper, as you hopelessly tried to stop your eyes from rolling to the back of your head. He loved it when you didn’t care about your surroundings, completely giving in to him, as he quickly looked up to see a still empty kitchen. His words and strokes on your body made you drop the plate you were squeezing, splashes of water ending up on your exposed front, releasing you from Lewis’ grip.

‘’Sit down baby, dinner’s ready.’’ You giggled.

What you thought was going to be a dinner for four, had soon ended up being a dinner for ten. Apparently, some of Lewis’ friends were spending the first few days of the break in Brazil as well, joining you last minute at the apartment. You greeted them politely, unsure of what type of ‘’friends’’ these were. You figured it was better to play it safe. Everyone that came through the door had brought some sort of food or drinks, and before you knew it, you were sitting next to your boyfriend, truly enjoying the company. Cold beers, good music, and the company, well, let’s say, were all easy on the eyes. The same people that you had played it safe with, were now making both you and Layla basically tear up with their jokes. You got up at a certain point to grab you and Daniel new drinks, as you noticed a girl entering the apartment, Lewis’ offering her your chair, to take it to sit next to her boyfriend, Nicolas. You chuckled in yourself, knowing damn well what his intentions were. You walked back to the table, and were stopped by her getting up, making her way to you. You could tell she was nervous to speak to you.

‘’Hi…Uhm, I hope you don’t mind that I came to join you guys’’, as she gave you a resilient hug. You hugged her back, keeping the two cold bottles in your other hand. ‘’Of course, you’re welcome, I am Y/N’’ you spoke as you gave her a warm smile. ‘’Sophie‘’ the brunette spoke, giving you a thankful smile, before sitting down in between Nicolas and Layla. Looking back at Lewis, he looked down to his lap, strictly gesturing you to sit down on your new seat.

Lewis grabbed your thighs, lowering you down onto him. Something that made you realize just how impatient he was getting. You sat down, immediately feeling how hard he was underneath you, as he continued chatting like nothing was wrong.

‘’So, you guys have made any plans yet?’’ Nicolas spoke. ‘’Giving this one some well-deserved attention’’ Daniel said, while holding Layla’s hand above the table, winning a smile from her side. ‘’We haven’t really thought of it, honestly. We just want to relax.’’ Layla added.

While hearing the plans of the other couples, Lewis was slowly playing with the zipper of your pants underneath the table. Down… and up again, teasing you. Your two legs were now spread, with his left, muscled thigh in the middle. You wanted him so badly, all you could think of was him fucking you like only he could, but you wouldn’t give in this easily. You had shot him a quick glimpse, minimally curving your back to be able to look back at him. Trying your best to maintain yourself, while the way he was sitting was probably enough to make you drip down your thighs. His legs were spread, his white shirt unbuttoned at the top, exposing the ‘’N’’ of his compass tattoo. His sleeves were rolled up, exposing his glowing skin. He leaned back onto his chair, pulling you against him tightly, as he moved the chair further under the table. Nobody was able to see below your middle now. He effortlessly moved you to his middle, before moving your zipper all the way down, and without warning, slipping two fingers into your string, tapping on your entrance lightly. You let out a small smirk, much to his displease, and continued to take a sip from your drink, acting as unaffected by your boyfriends’ actions as you possibly could.

‘’Don’t make me push further.’’ He whispered into your ear. ‘’I’d like to see you try, baby…’’ you taunted him. The next thing you felt were two of his fingers, entering you with such force it made you move up from Lewis’ lap, his reflex immediately holding you down in his firm grip, with his other hand on your thigh. You couldn’t help but let out a suppressed moan.

‘’What was that?’’ he whispered, clear anger in his voice.

You swallowed, still trying to ignore his efforts.

‘’Look what we have here’’ he goes, as he noticed how quickly he had you covering the palm of his hand with your juices. ‘’Baby… Why are you so wet?’’

You tried to keep your focus on the table, in case anyone would start asking you questions, or involving you into their chatter. But it was no use, Lewis had other plans with you, and you had no choice but to give in to him. He wanted you to completely be under his control, even if you were seated on his lap in front of a dozen of his friends. Seeing you squirm and having to really focus on not making any sounds, was making him painfully hard for you.

You eased up into his lap, allowing his fingers deeper inside of you, as he slowly started to fuck you with them.

‘’That’s it, baby, relax for me.’’ You noticed him whispering beneath his breath. His face was still crooked in your neck, mouth close to your ear. ‘’Isn’t that much better?’’

You moved up a little, swallowing a gasp as you felt his index finger on your clit. He started moving his fingers at a pace that you knew was going to make you actually orgasm right then and there. How the hell were you going to hide it now? Your body started to shake lightly, Lewis’ right arm holding you down tighter. ‘’Easy, baby, we can’t get caught now, can we?’’ He whispered devilishly as you looked up at the table, worried about the half horny, half worried expression on your face.

Layla was making fast friends with Sophie, as Nicolas and Daniel were deeply in conversation with the other boys about some car stuff and his job at RedBull. Nobody paid attention to the two of you. ‘’It’s just you and me, baby. Don’t worry.’’ he whispered, feeling you tense up again.

You wanted nothing more than for Lewis to fuck you, to do with you as he pleased. The memories of your many wild nights had made you slowly rock your hips in the same movements as his fingers. Lewis moved his other hand up your arm, as if he was going to stroke it, but continued to move towards the back of your neck, squeezing it lightly. ‘’That’s more like it.’’ he continues to breathe into your neck. You moved your hands under the table, trying to find something to squeeze in, anything. Lewis let out a soft chuckle when the only thing you could find was his leg. He was working you in a way that only he could, his unforgiving pace was pushing you closer and closer to your high quickly now. ‘’Lewis…I…’’ you gasped. ‘’Stop…please I can’t hold it anymore.’’ You were almost crying it out at this point. ‘’Are you going to displease me?’’ he groaned.

‘’No…I don’t want to…’’

His fingers fucked you even harder, making it entirely impossible for you to speak any more, or think straight, for that matter. ‘’Cum for me, now.’’ He ordered.

That was all you needed to hear, his words basically pushing you over the edge, making you drip all over his hand. ‘’That’s it…that’s a good girl…’’ he whispered, as he slowly kept moving his fingers inside of you, until he was sure you had enjoyed your high as much as possible. After a minute, he zipped your pants back up, and wrapped his two arms around your shocking body, helping you come down from your high. ‘’I got you baby.’’ He whispered as you slowly came back to reality.

A few guests had left during the evening, while some new faces were entering. The vibe in the apartment was amazing. Everyone got along well, mingles and laughs were filling the rooms as Lewis came up to you to remind you of the party all of you would attend, tonight.

‘’I’ll go get ready, babe.’’ You said, as you dried off the last plate from the sink, putting it away in a cabin above your head.

You pouted lightly in the mirror, concentrating on applying a nude shade of lipliner. It was only when you had put down the pencil, that you noticed in the mirror that your boyfriend was now leaned against the wall behind you. Licking his lips slowly, as he let his eyes move all over you. The black mini dress that you were wearing was suddenly feeling a lot tighter, as you tried your best to stay still, softly faltering on the black heels that were strapped on your feet. Your dress showing off your tanned body and figure perfectly, making it impossible for Lewis to take his eyes off of the girl that was standing in front of him. You had let your wavy, long hair falling down loosely, making it look like you hadn’t made such an effort. Even though you had showered and gotten ready, your mind couldn’t shake Lewis’ actions from earlier, still making you ache for him. You had to shake your thoughts, before they would soon leave you dripping down your thighs, exposing you.

Even after a year, having Lewis staring you down like that, still made you shiver. ‘’I see you’re planning on torturing me all night.’’ Lewis voice had started to fill the bathroom. You didn’t answer, trying to place his words. ‘’Don’t even try to imagine. You’ll see.’’ Lewis turned you towards him, and put you sitting in front of him, next to the bathroom sink. He grabbed your jaw, roughly pushing your head towards the mirror, before slowly letting his tongue slip into your mouth. You relaxed, gave into him. Allowed him to completely make a mess of your finished looks, as he finally gave you what you desired. ‘’Sweetie… You’re going to have to take me now.’’ He breathes. ‘’I can’t hold myself for another minute seeing you like this.’’

He pulled you onto him forcefully, making you meet the bulge in his jeans. ‘’This is what you do to me. This is how you torture me every single minute.’’ He said, pulling your hair down so you were forced to look up at him. ‘’Baby I…’’ you started. ‘’Hush now, that’s okay. I’m about to make you pay for it.’’ He shut you up completely. You couldn’t think straight after hearing his words, he had knowingly or not taken fully control over you. He took you by your hands, pulling you into the bedroom, sitting down on the couch, as you were standing in front of him. ‘’On your knees, sweetie.’’ He ordered. He had your heart pounding in your throat by now. Whether he knew it or not, his soft, loving voice spilling such nasty words would always have completely weak for him. You kneeled in front of him, probably more eager than him to have him in your mouth. He leaned against the couch, spreading his legs in front of your hypnotized eyes. Before you knew it, no recollection of how you even undressed him, you took him in your mouth, slowly. Licking his base to tip, feeling yourself dripping as he moaned for you. You could never decide what was better, seeing him in pleasure because of you, or having him pleasuring you. It was crazy, how love drunk he had you for him. You took him back into your mouth, to the point of tears filling up your eyes. He pulled you up, pushing you down onto the bed, as he leaned over you. ‘’Look at you.’’ He goes. ‘’All under my control. I love you like this, when you don’t even try to think for yourself.’’

He moves his hand towards where your underwear is supposed to be, as you stopped him, making Lewis look up to you, furrowed brows and a face with anger written all over it. ‘’What is that?’’ he groaned. ‘’I…I don’t want your fingers.’’ You stumbled. Even when your boyfriend was in this animalistic mood of his, he never wanted to do you any harm. It was him thinking in your best interest, since common sense would be far gone for you. ‘’But you will struggle, baby.’’ Lewis smiled down at you, like he didn’t know he was about to demolish you. ‘’I want to… make me hurt, please.’’ You begged him. Lewis looked down at you again, for a few seconds. ‘’Please baby… I want to feel pain.’’ You cried. He knew you liked it rough at times, but he has never heard you beg for it before. He got up, leaving you going completely blank on the bed. You heard the sound of some metal tapping against his rings, raising your anticipation even more. The next thing you felt was his belt around your wrists, tightening up roughly. Lewis moved your arms above your head, leaving you exposed for him. ‘’No more running from it now.’’ He whispered, before positioning himself in front of you, thrusting himself into you at once. You gasped; he had never given you a stretch like this before. Lewis twitched inside of you, making him moan aggressively down on you. ‘’Fuck… baby… how are you this tight?’’

He stopped for a split second, catching his breath, before he grabbed your face tightly and licked into your mouth, letting a little bit of his saliva drip into you. You moaned, swallowing it directly. ‘’You’d do anything to please me, wouldn’t you?’’ he groans. ‘’Yes… I’d do anything.’’ You whimpered. Lewis started to move himself. In and out, making you cry as your body was tied up, unable to move under him. You couldn’t touch him, as much as you wanted to, he had you tied up so tightly it was for sure going to leave some markings on your wrists if you kept trying. He pulled out of you, flipping you over, and entered you again. You could barely keep yourself together at this point, painfully screaming as he filled you up again. ‘’Quiet now baby… you asked me to do this. Be a good little girl and take all of me.’’ Lewis leaned over your curved body, quickly releasing your wrists from the tight grip, as he folded the belt in his hands. You screamed, again as the belt hit your ass cheek, unable to keep your cries down. Whimpering in pain, whispering towards him softly ‘’more, please’’ you begged him, beneath your breath, as you lowered your head even more. Another slap hit your ass, making Lewis groan. ‘’I told you to stay quiet.’’ The anger in his voice making tears roll down your cheeks again.

He stopped, as a second later you gasped when the cold, silver material of his belt was held onto your face, stroking your cheeks slowly as Lewis kept himself still inside of you. It was evil, the way in which it was impossible for you to predict what he was going to do to you. ‘’Open wide.’’ His voice was cold, strict and calm. It had sent shivers onto your body. He smiled behind you as he placed the double folded belt into your mouth. ‘’How does that feel?’’ he moaned into your ear, making your walls squeeze him even more. ‘’That’s what I thought.’’ He pulled out a little, before giving you exactly what you wanted. You started to see stars, as he fucked you deeply, making sure you were feeling every single inch of him.

His pace was rough, unforgiving, and the most painful thing you had ever felt. Before long, you started to feel him not being able to hold back anymore. ‘’How about I fill you all up, baby?’’ Lewis moaned. ‘’I bet you would just love to be full of me, wouldn’t you, now?’’

You couldn’t speak, but your moans had done the work for you. You screamed, biting into the leather in your mouth as Lewis moved faster, a pace that you failed to understand how it was humanly possible. It was quite literally knocking all the sense out of you. Before long, you were feeling him coming undone deeply inside of you, immediately collapsing on top of you.

Your mind kept blank, as Lewis cleaned you, and tried hopelessly to get you to come back to him. It was no use; you were completely gone. He got dressed, leaving you laying down on the bed. After a while, he gently took you into his arms, and carried you to couch, placing you on his lap. Lewis looked down at your tired but satisfied face, the sight only fed his love for you. ‘’I love you baby; you can’t imagine just how much.’’

You let out a small smile, slowly coming back to reality. ‘’We might have a little problem here, though.’’ You looked up at him, slightly confused. ‘’We are so late.’’

‘’Everyone’s left already.’’ he giggled.

You had made your way to the party, that was held on a big terrace overlooking the beach. Hand locked in your dates’ as the two of you were greeting guests from the left and right. The night was long, you met a lot of new faces, your mood completely relaxed. The party was hosted by the same new friends you had made that joined the dinner at your apartment, the vibe ever improving as the night continued under the heat of the Brazilian climate. The mix of alcohol and the company of the man who you were completely head over heels for, had made the night truly one for the books. He looked gorgeous, his jewelry softly sparkling under the few lights that were barely lighting up anything.

The night had ended only around 4 in the morning, you were exhausted, passed out on the couch next to Layla, who was in the exact same state. Your heels were off, laying around messily somewhere along with your friends’. It took a while before you heard Lewis and Daniel coming back home, after dropping some of their friends off.

Your boyfriend kneeled by your side, playing softly with your hair. ‘’Let me take you to bed, hm?’’ he asked. You mumbled sleepily, as he took you in his arms, and carried you to your bedroom, softly lowering you down onto the cold sheets, waking you up a little. You tried to sit up, as a sharp pain in your stomach suddenly made you gasp, making Lewis rush to your side immediately. ‘’What is it, baby? What’s wrong?’’

‘’Nothing, I think’’ you said, clearly in pain, holding one hand on your lower stomach. ‘’I think my organs just aren’t used to being rearranged by a certain Brit.’’ You giggled, not wanting him to worry about you.

Lewis disappeared into the bathroom, coming back shortly after with some pain killers and a cold bottle of water. ‘’Let’s see if these will help, if they don’t, I’m taking you to the doctor first thing when you wake up.’’

‘’it’s just a little pain, don’t exaggerate so much please, babe. I’m fine.’’

You woke up a few hours later, while Lewis was out running, to an insanely nauseous feeling, as well as a pounding headache. Before you knew it, you were leaned over the toilet, feeling as if you were quite literally going to puke your whole stomach out. ‘’Y/N?’’ You heard Layla’s sleepy voice from afar, as she was entering your bedroom. ‘’Do you want to go get brea…’’

‘’Oh my god.’’ She gasped and stopped in her steps, as she saw you, pale faced in the bathroom, looking very small all of a sudden.

‘’It’s nothing, i’m fine.’’ You said as you flushed the toilet, turning around to lean against the bathroom wall.

‘’You don’t seem fine.’’ Layla said as she closed the bathroom door behind her and joined you on the floor. ‘’I’ve just been having these pains in my stomach…’’ you started.

‘’It’s been getting worse since last night, and Lewis noticed.’’

Layla looks up at you, worry building up in her expression. ‘’I’m surprised he didn’t drag you to the doctor immediately.’’

‘’Yeah, please don’t let him hear that.’’ You spoke, leaning your head back against the cold, refreshing tiles. Your best friend didn’t seem to like the way you were tilting your head at all.

‘’Nope, but I am taking you.’’ She said, as she pulled you up by your arm.

‘’Really Lay? I just woke up and I’m way too exhausted for this.’’ You sighed. ‘’Also, I think I might still be drunk.’’

‘’You really have been looking pale lately, and I’ve noticed you haven’t been eating well. ‘’Also, now this? Yes, I am taking you to the doctor, get dressed.’’ She said, as she disappeared into the living room.

Not long after, you were sat at a health clinic, waiting for the doctor in her office with Layla next to you, as if you were two teens again who were about to get expelled from school. You chuckle at the memory. Somehow it felt like nothing had changed at all. Your hair was up in a bun, you were messily sitting in your boyfriends’ black hoodie and sweats, with one leg up on the chair, leaning your head on your knee. ‘’Why is this taking so long?’’ Layla asked as she turned towards the door, running out of patience. ‘’I don’t know, do you have somewhere to be, anyways?’’ you teased her.

You heard the door behind you open, two doctors coming in with the results of your blood tests, looking at you quite displeased. One of them handed you a form, which didn’t check a lot of boxes, meaning you were fine. Except one. You looked down at the form, at one of the last boxes.

‘’Gravida.’’

You were pregnant.

Your head went completely blank, as Layla drove you back to the apartment, quiet as well. The fact that even Layla was quiet had you worrying like hell. You had no idea what to think. Was this a bad thing? Was it a good thing? You looked over at your friend, who wasn’t looking at you at all, slowly driving you past the many bars and restaurants that were slowly preparing to open up. It was terrible timing; Lewis was still at the prime of his career… and… No, fuck his career; what about him? Who says he even wants a child with you? You had only known each other for a year after all. You started to feel insanely anxious all of a sudden. How were you going to tell him? You couldn’t… it might ruin everything. This was way too much for you to handle. I’m so not ready… was the last thing that went through your mind. All you wanted to do was find Lewis, bury yourself deep in his arms and never get out.

‘’Lewis?’’ you spoke into the hallway, while walking towards your shared bedroom.

‘’In here, sweetie.’’

That gorgeous, kind accent of his had immediately made butterflies appearing in your stomach all over again. How could it not?

You found him sitting on the couch across from the bed, answering some emails, still in his workout clothes. He noticed you coming in, quietly sitting on the end of the bed.

‘’How are your pains?’’ Lewis looked up; a worried facial expression met you.

‘’Did you eat? Daniel said you and Layla were going to get some breakfast.’’

Seeing him had sparked something inside of you. This was your person, the love of your life. Why were you so nervous? He loves you; you know he does. Through the past year you had always found your courage in him, for anything. Why would this time be any different?

‘’No.’’ you said, looking out of the open doors that led to the balcony. Trying to find the courage to drop a complete bomb onto your boyfriends’ lap.

‘’Layla took me to the doctor.’’ You started, making Lewis get up from the couch.

‘’I don’t… I don’t know how…’’ you stumbled, nervously trying to make up the words. ‘’What is it, baby?’’ he asked. You looked into his eyes, searching for the last bit of strength you needed to spill the actual words.

‘’I’m pregnant.’’

Lewis eyes widened, not taking them off of you, before a small smile had started to appear on his cheeks. ‘’You’re pregnant?’’ he asks, almost desperately, as he kneeled down in front of you, tearing up at the realization. ‘’Yes, baby.’’ you smiled through your own tears.

A year later, back in London, you were laid back in a comfortable chair, in the corner of the nursery in your new-bought house, a soft lullaby was playing in the background.

Your baby girl was calmly sleeping in your arms, as you were staring at the sparkling diamond that was resting on your ring finger.

This life had taken turns you couldn’t have ever imagined. You had no clue that Lewis took you to Brazil to propose to you, one year deep into your relationship. You softly chuckled when you remembered the thoughts you were having about him losing interest in you, or not wanting to leave you out of pity. Lewis was going to be your husband, for life. He and your daughter had filled your life with so much love, you were practically drowning in it. It felt as if he took every broken piece of yourself and somehow managed to glue it all back together.

Your happy end was here, as your deepest wish had come true. You had gotten the dream you were dreaming, all this time. Lewis had become safe place. It was indescribable, being with him. Whenever he was around, you felt like you could do anything, anything at all. ‘’Impossible’’ was a word you quite literally removed from your vocabulary.

You looked down at your baby, who was now mumbling for her dadda in her sleep. You are so beautiful, you thought. Her plump lips, her small brown curls, her puffy cheeks. She was perfect, the way she resembled Lewis made you shed tears. ‘’Dadda will be home soon, baby.’’ You whispered, as you kissed her on her head, making her doze off, back into sleep.

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