#still want this as a skin honestly

[myhandbarfs]

hehe a lil' vamp lúcio before spoobyween ends 🦇

#myhandbarfs #overwatch #overwatch lucio #lucio correia dos santos #lúcio correia dos santos #lúcio overwatch #vampire #halloween #overwatch 2 #still want this as a skin honestly

[chibigaia-art]

I can dream 😔

#danganronpa #danganronpa v3 killing harmony #kiibo #cgart #fastest thing ive sketched and finished in a few months honestly #i want him to be real for the crossover but also... i still wanna try for the hajime skin

[vampthropologist]

You know he has to flip for it!

No text + flat under cut

I've been working on this for a bit, and it is done! Two of my f/o's interacting for a silly meme. Ichimatsu's getting held by the scruff like a cat because Harv can't be normal /j/lh

#🦇// my art #i think we have to kill this guy #meme #two face #harvey dent #ichimatsu #ososan #btas #osomatsu san #dc #mr osomatsu #batman the animated series #self ship #f/o's #I LOVE LIMITED COLOR PALETTES!!!!!! #Also I'm really proud of the colors. I'm getting better at making them harmonious #I've been working on this for so long! honestly I finished it because I wanted to render something since i haven't in a bit #the lineart and anatomy was hell but that's partly because I chose shitty angles to work with in retrospect #alls well ends well I suppose #Look at Harveyyyyy <3 my wonderful Harv <3 #It's supposed to be Harv talking that's why the speech bubble is black. I wasn't going to make it squiggly like in the comics for this. #Ichiiiiiii !!!! #I'm so happy with his facial expression! also this is the first time I've drawn him in the og suit I think #Yes he has a piercing because Iru took him to get his ears pierced I do what I want #Also Two Face gets makeup because he can get it and also I dislike the red lip thing. There's other headcanons too #I'm still playing around with his design but I like the skin tone and suit I used here #Also their noses!!! I LOVE THEIR NOSES!!!! Love how I drew them #only thing is their eyes aren't that detailed or rendered like I'd like. I got bored but they look good enough #honestly this whole thing I made so I could have a drawn header :3

[uselessgaywhovian]

the problem with playing D&D is you have ships 'n' blorbos that only 4 other people know about

#still thinkin' about that motherfucker Cormac from the Thieves Guild #and how he lives rent free in Ariadne's brain #and therefore my brain #and how i have to deal with the fact that she wouldn't think about #that as much as she's plagued with conflicting feelings about this motherfucker #i honestly don't think that there's much reason that she would've made as much of an impact on him as he has on her #and it's driving me insane #like he got under her skin instantly because the first time they met she had just used her inspiration point only to roll two nat 1s #trying to get a crowd to disperse before things got rough #and this motherfucker sweeps in and does what she couldn't while also kind of shitting on the temple #which she couldn't even really argue because he wasn't really wrong but also this is the thing that makes up her identity #and she was fuckin' pissed #i mean we did also get sent to make a deal with him to keep the city chill while rise of the zombies was dealt with in the high district #so she #the temple's Brand Newest Paladin in full fuckin' armor gets sent into the den of the Thieves Guild #to talk with the guy who's been pretty openly (and frankly fairly) dunking on said temple #and we come out of it having to do a favor for him to get his help #and as much as she'd love to cover it with 'well we're really doing it because the prince wants us to and it's for the good of the city' #the fact that at the end of the day they were doing something on this motherfucker's orders was such a bur under her saddle #i think he got the party drinks while we were talking with him but ariadne didn't touch hers #because A) she's pretty sure someone would've spit in it and B) fuck u cormac fuck ur hospitality and fuck u #ANYWAY #all this happened over a year ago irl (not sure how long in-game) and YET #there's also the problem that our sessions have been shorter and more sporadic #which gives me more time between sessions to obsess over stupid shit #like a NPC who we haven't seen in a fuckin' year

[mokeonn]

pics? pics of poetry for the soul?

Here she is, in all her glory: Bhaal's pinkest disappointment

and a bonus: The original doodle I did on a sticky tab before I decided to make the character

#simon says #bg3 #bg3 screenshots #art #my art #doodle #still on the hunt for pink dye #also when we reach the city I am going to go CRAZY in those clothes shops #none of the screenshots show the nightmare dye jobs of everyone else's armor though #okay well the only nightmare one is Astarion because I have yet to find a good color for him so he's constantly wearing ugly colors #another reason he dislikes Poetry added to the list: dyed his armor yellow multiple times #also she plays the lyre because the item description says worshipers of the goddess of love associate it with her #and her name was SO close to being a love related name #also she totally smooched Wyll :3 #she is head over heels for the blade of frontiers and gets lots of fun dialog because she's also a warlock #im VERY excited to get to the circus bc apparently fae patrons REALLY wanna go in the circus and will let you use their voice to get in #also yes I did the volo eye thing and shockingly enough it was the first time I ever did it #most of my characters are not dumb enough to let him do that but I needed the benefit for honor mode #honestly I've been wanting to make a pink tiefling for a bit because like... look at her #she's just a regular Asmodeus tiefling too. they come in pink! i didn't even have to use the 'use all skin tones' box it's just available! #honestly making a fun colored tiefling is grand #I think her and Fizzlewood Fleetfoot (my halfling wild sorcerer) are my favorites at the moment #Poetry is just so adorable and I'm absolutely using her to get that achievement for getting lots of gold by playing music in a single game #and Fizzlewood is so silly he's just a nice lil guy wanting to find fun ways out of combat #it's even funnier because Fizzlewood is my Karlak romance and that was by accident but I totally went with it because like... #6 foot something hot hot barbarian and her 3 foot something combat avoidant boyfriend is so fun #anyways highly suggest making a fun colored tiefling or a halfling they're so fun to play #and use the dyes!!! i love using dyes so much!! everyone gets dyed clothes in all my playthroughs!! dye it up!!! #edit: I mispelled Karlach im so sorry baby girl

[batz]

realizing its almost been 6 months since top surgery:)

#frank.txt #despite all the complications i had w healing im rlly happy w how my chest looks:) #ALTHOUGH. ONE BIG COMPLAINT #i used to use my bras as an extra pocket for my phone or lighter or whatever. but now i dont wear bras and therefore have no extra pocket #:( u win some u lose some :( #anyway all shirts look awesome on me now AND i can wear t shirts w funny text or image ans ppl wont feel awkward reading it:) #also the scars r fading rlly well! they almost blend in w my skin completely! (keyword almost. theyr still visible atp) #the way the scars r shaped is interesting bc theyre like a U shape. but bc of that when i inevitably build my pectoral muscles #the scars should blend into the shadow caused by thr muscle. i also dont have a Completrly flat chest bc im fat:0 #tbh my surgeon did rlly well . i have a lot of problems with him bc hes kind of a dick but from like. idk an artistic standpoint hes good #but the doctor standpoint hes Uhm. well i lost a nipple and had severe infection due to denied antibiotics and lack of aftercare #BUT. the lost nipple isnt visible and it looks normal now somehow AND. i didn't die from the infection so. I mean #i just had to spend christmas with a fever of 103 LMAO #HONESTLY THO i would do it again EVEN if i knew i would go thru hell bc this surgery fuckn saved my life holy shit #i didnt realize just how much i dissociated from my own body bc of dysphoria. now i feel more in touch with it and happy!:) #also now i can Eventually get that chest tattoo i wanted for like 7 years lmao #erm yippee:)

[mrsdulac]

.

#a wonderful day turned into a horrific night #i am freaking out #i was staying with a friend #a really good friend and i love them so much #i truly do but their home is infested and I don’t do well with bugs #i tried my hardest to spend the night but there were bugs all over me and i just couldn’t take it #and it was freaking me out #to the point where i think i had a panic attack #so i ordered a uber to go home #in the middle of the night #and i can still feel the fucking roaches on my skin #and I’m breathing real hard in my uber trying to keep it together #and i feel so awful about it #bc i didn’t wake them up to tell them i was leaving #i was honestly just thinking about escape #but i know it’s gonna hurt their feelings which i don’t want to do #but i just can’t sleep in a place where bugs are gonna crawl all over me like #one of my biggest fears is a bug crawling inside my body via my ears or nostrils or whatever #so i just ran #and i feel like that makes me a bad person… #i’m just having a really bad night rn #and could use a hug or three

[raeloganthesonic06fangirl]

Is there anything more unsettling than your four cats staring in the same direction down the hall, only for you to later find a spider on the back of your bedroom door?

"Aww, what are you silly little guys doing over-? GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY, IS THAT A BIG HONKIN' RECLUSE???"

#rae is such a dork #having four cats means relatively decent pest control on the house but also they will certainly chase things under the doors #Poor spider was probably terrified I'm sure and usually recluses are docile but I just don't like them out in the open #They're one of the most venomous spiders in America and they're everywhere but they usually stay away from people #Absolutely not fun to push a door open and come face to face with one eye level #I try to repel them with mint and cedar and regular vacuuming and noise but this is peak season for them #Usually they get trapped in the sinks and tub because they want water #So they usually show up in the kitchens and bathrooms #Mom got bit by one way back in the early 2000s and her skin right there is still rather scarred #They hide in clothes and boxes so just give a quick shake of the item and inspect shoes and gloves before sticking limbs in them #They also hide under furniture and woodpiles #They're honestly quite polite spiders that are afraid of you but they can bite if they feel threatened #So I have to share my house for half of the year with them as they come out #Rural Nowhere home problems amirite??

[backpackingspace]

Hey s1 au where will gets a second opinion and does not connect the dots to serial murder and just thinks hannibal is another unethical doctor wanting only to study him. This ends up alienating him from hannibal, Alana (dr. Lecter after is her friend her recommendation), and jack (did he know? Will can't be sure)

#hannibal #nbc hannibal #Will graham #hannibal lecter #jack crawford #alana bloom #S1 au where will finds out but connects the wrong dots #Will thinks hannibal is just another asshole doctor who wants to study hom #Thinks everything was a lie #Hell he'd probably actually prefer to find out hannibals a serial killer #Meanwhile hannibals out here pouting with an I just murdered my husband robe and the most emo music #Because he doesn't know why his good friend will isn't talking to him anymore he skipped there last 3 sessions #And didn't open the door when hannibal drove all the way up there #And he's honestly done nothing wrong how could dear will ignore him like this #Alana and will actually had a conversation (fight ) about it. She gets will needing space #Does not get how hannibal could do such a thing thinks its all one big misunderstanding #And that...that galls will the most that she's still defending hannibal after he had played with his mind like that #Jack doesn't actually know what's going or care he just wants to know why will isn't coming to crime scenes anymore #Will needs 4 months of complete solitude to make his skin stop crawling please and thanks

[buns-and-roseboys]

just noticed something

it’s all “body positivity” until someone that’s on the skinnier side has their own complaints about their body. Fat shaming isn’t close to skinny shaming, I recognize that. But please at least think, “hm, is saying that I don’t believe that you eat a rude thing to say? Is it creepy to say how easy it would be to beat them up or kidnap them?” Think that and not, “you’re fucking skinny, you’ve been the beauty standard. You have no right to be upset when all I’ve been told was to look like you.”

I’ll be honest. Being told to eat a cheeseburger sucks, but it probably sucks less than a bigger person being told to eat a salad.

#Tw: Body shaming #fat shaming #skinny shaming #I have always been skinny but I was constantly told to gain weight to be desirable #Not that I want people to desire anything with me #but the point still stands #My weight and body are out of my control as it is how my body processes food #Same thing with other peoples bodies and weights #IM NOT BEING FATPHOBIC IM JUST TRYING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT SOMETHIN IN MY PERSPECTIVE #I HONESTLY WISH I WAS ON THE BIGGER SIDE BECAUSE I HATE SEEING MY BONES THROUGH MY SKIN AND SOME OF MY HEALTH ISSUES MIGHT GO AWAY #but if anyone tries to say that I’m body shaming ANYBODY #They can kiss my nonbinary black and hispanic ass for that dumbass take

[barkingangelbaby]

dude...

#if I don't stop hyperfixating on my breathing... like... idfk how much longer i can live like this... #it's been happening since last august snd I'm so tired of it..... #it's not even only when I'm high anymore it's like... all the time #i just like.. stop automatically breathing once i think about it and it takes me *so* *fucking* *long* to start again #honestly I'm just typing this post to distract myself a bit and hopefully i just start breathing normally again but I'm still manually #breathing rn. and now im wondering what the normal amount of time in between breaths is and if I'm taking too long ?? #i tried to time my breaths with N's but she's asleep so i know it's gonna be different than mine #hoooo boy wish me luck falling asleep this is so annoying!!!! #is this ocd??? I've had several ppl in the past year tell me they think I have it but thinking about it makes me spiral #but it would explain A Lot of my thoughts n habits #anyway. I'm very annoyed with myself rn i just want to breathe normally and not worry myself into panic attacks anymore #actually very worried about how bad my stress in general has been bc there's no way it's been good for my body #ok. time to snuggle up n try to fall asleep!! im v cold rn so i have to warm up before i hug N bc i don't want to wake her with my ice cold #skin lmao. i can't wait for it to be warmer so i don't have to worry/feel bad about that lol #OKAY BBYYYYEEE if you read these tags I'm so very sorry. #rAMbles

[incarnateirony]

Oh, by the way, Shea. You once tried to color my lineart. Of the many things we bit our tongue on,

My lineart on the left from 2009 or so, when I lived in Texas, before we were ever together. The right was you coloring it during the second wave of our relationship in the late 20-teens.

It's a perfect illustration even in lineart of you fucking things up and taking lazy routes, like deleting half of the eyes, much less the... the... I mean.

How about this, take my own art of the same essence, from around 2002, because again, I was the only one invested for a lifetime,

I was young, I drew it on a corner of paper and it's ancient, so it has the resolution of a thumbnail and that is what it is, and such is the cost of a lifetime of work ironically dating, but I'm pretty sure how you can see a literal teenager had better vision in every sense, and here it did have the singular eye for sake of size, sure, but the rest of it is just a perfect example of you butchering everything of mine you trace over.

You literally have no shame.

That wasn't a fucking scarf around his neck, Shea.

It was a snake.

(...and part of his wing but you're good at cutting those.)

AND YOU CUT OFF HIS FIBER OPTIC TAIL TO SHOVE HIM IN GREECE. or a very lazy egypt with no defining hieroglyphics.

That's what the wires behind him were Shea!! My guy literally connected to Akasha Internet with Peacock Fiber Optics, my gal. You fucked up the thing again, and it's a perfect example how you've fucked it up the whole time while trying to trace.

Cut him out of his element to shove him into another time you decided he belonged in, and thought his snake was a scarf to wear!!! You know, the one who can't see for shit at night unless it's a full moon because somebody fucked up him and his ancient family's eyes.

Even the underbelly, you didn't understand the highlighting, and it looks nothing like a snake belly now, I don't know WHAT the fuck that is, but you keep fucking up that it's all snakes!!! and where did the seraph wings go even in the under-wrap i just. ITS ALL SNAKES SHEA. ITS A SNAKE IN A HELMET WEARING A SNAKE CONNECTED TO AKASHA INTERNET

Maam, the wire tail framed akasha through infinite monitors. That is literally where he belonged, and was always placed, and I just couldn't finish because my connective tissue disorder gave out before finishing his wing much less the walls. But his cable tail was there and you cut it to displace him.

Like deadass even in the stupid roleplays you loved, that thing only existed in the halls of digital akasha, or on full moon nights. On the original I had ironically turned up the brightness to hide some wire scratches I never finished either but you can still see them on the wall behind him, as well as his tail starting under him, and you fucked it up.

What is not clicking. Also why the fuck are his talons blurple.

NO SERIOUSLY, EVEN IN YOUR STUPID GAMES!

CRAZY COCAINE BEAR LADY HUMPING MY DO NOT HUMP CAT DISTRIBUTION SYSTEM, HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO EXPLAIN THAT WHETHER IT'S AARON, ASH, OR WHAT YOU CALL HERMES OR THOTH OR WHATEVER OF THE DAY, YOU ARE NOT IN THIS GAME LOBBY, YOU HAVE YOUR OWN SERVER, PLEASE HOP THE FUCK OFF MY FLOPPY DISK NOT ONLY HAVE YOU MIXED UP YOUR COSMIC DATA AND PLAY DISCS, YOU'RE TRYING TO PLAY ON MINE AND IT'S FREAKING WEIRD

YOU ARE A PIECE OF CRAP PERSON. IT'S A GOLDMINE OF A QUOTE. HENRY IS FUCKING TIRED AND YOU WON'T TAKE A MESSAGE. WHAT EVEN IS THIS MOVIE

seriously lady what isn't clicking, "Min" was the fucking helmet. Almost like a Persona mask or something idk. Try that hat on. secret third trick to pop a lid. there's a jar in a box under a nuclear reactor in the bottom of the sea o/~ Happy listening! Who taught you the sounds of the ineffable? Who taught you ANYTHING you have corrupted?

You cannot harass us back, you will just destroy us both, and that includes you.

Amenti, Shea.

My name is Aaron. I misheard "ah Min" from what I thought was "Ash". I added to it with other random stuff as an idiot kid I had around me. It became Minerva, then went back to Min. But it was always Aaron. The halls of Amenti were calling. I asked who I was and it answered. "Min" is just the first Rumpocky incident, and you're even feeding on the corpse of my mistakes wholesale, and refuse to stop. Kinda like me yelling that you're Cowardly Maya and you heard Mara. Same energy. Same misheard lyrics.

You aren't in this game lobby. You're still doing the Idiot Kid part in your mid-thirties because you've refused to listen for a hundred lifetimes.

I'm not just being mean when I say you were literally the problem and slowed me down five or ten years with your distractions and letting you throw haze over the path trying to Everybody's Interpretations Equal every time your shit didn't make sense, or was contrary, or we winced at you displacing him and cutting off his tail but not wanting to disincentivize you trying to grow your art, or whatever. You were literally in my way, and got angrier when I stopped letting you lead us both down into roleplay and channeling distractions land, and now we're here. With you stalking me years later and refusing to understand why. And you accidentally Belief*ing in me until I am the cosmic GM that is breaking and rearranging your system from home base. And you aren't in this game lobby.

The only reason any of you is here at all is you keep trying to break in, and I decided to acquiesce to your weird screaming banging on the cucumber latch road shortcut door pissing on the floor stalking, and it's not going as great for you as you think.

Henry is tired, Shea, he just wants out of your cages. You can't own me anymore, even if you got confused about who I was. And he thinks you're a piece of crap person and bad bird parent. An alchemically lid popped goldmine of a quote you happened to catch while ~working on something. Happy listening. I guess.

Human Vesuvius two, electric boogaloo. The citizens couldn't see the signs. They thought they would be fine.

#piratecandyrumpockyridingsniffmakesbuttrumhoopleborpna #woman i literally work in halls of reflection #will you stop trying to copy lives #it won't work #every day i log into a Unified Platform powered by Genesys to reflect people's own psychodome #between guiding a bunch of socials #even sitting here #in a game skin #while you keep trying to summon one or honestly several of mine #you're really fucking up the weather in here #madam it is not a fucking metaphor #you still think virtual systems ready is irrelevant huh #like you are so lost to your own mess you actively refuse gnosis #lady #you want real bad to find a way to write me to be the baddy here #it's you you're the baddy #it's you and it's here and it's a con and it's in the room with you #my brothers my daddy my ancestral memory my soul #not yours now hop the fuck off of me #that's my save file and you're fucking it up #so now it's fucking YOU up #IT SHOULD NOT BE THIS FUCKING DIFFICULT TO DUMP YOU CRAZY COCAINE BEAR LADY

[grasslandgirl]

OHHHHH KARNA LOVE CONFESSION LETTER IS SOSOSOOOOO GOOD. YEAH I CAN FUCK WITH THAT SO MUCH. KARNA ON HER DEATH BED MAKING SAVING THROWS GETTING CARRIED OUT OF THE MYCELLIUM AND THE CAVES FIRST BY DELI AND THEN WHEN HE STARTED STUMBLING, OVERTAKEN BY THE POISON, CARRIED BY COLIN; OUT INTO THE WSRM LIGHT OF THE BULB SHE DIDNT BELIEVE IN. KARNA WHO BARELY MANAGES TO GET STABILIZED BETWEEN THE WOUNDS AND THE POISON AND HER OWN ROT BUT SHES BREATHING. BARELY. LAYING ON THE GROUND BLEEDING AND PALE FROM THE POISON AND THE ROT AS THEY ALL TRY TO CATCH THEIR BREATH AND AMANGEAUX CASTS A LITTLE SOMETHING BUT IT DOESNT HELP MUCH BC KARNA IS SO POORLY OFF AND THEY FINALLY MANAGE TO GET HER BACK TO THE ENCAMPMENTS AND FIND A BULBIAN CLERIC OF SOME KIND (that deli threatens, voice shaking, hand empty without his long-abandoned spear, eyes red and bloodshot and colin hovering like a ghost at his shoulder, into silence and compliance despite karna's unnatural poisoning and the rot overtaking her body- clear evidence of the hungry one) THAT MANAGES TO HELP STABILIZE KARNA A LITTLE MORE BUT SHES STILL OUT. STILL UNCONSCIOUS. AND THEY ALL SIT AT HER BEDSIDE, LISTEN TO HER FAINT RATTLING BREATHS. AMANGEAUX NEVER LETS GO OF HER HAND AND DELI CAN'T BRING HIMSELF TO LOOK AWAY AND ALL THREE OF THEM REMEMBERING THE MISSING MEMBER OF THEIR GROUP WHOM THEY COULDN'T GET BACK OUT OF THE CAVES AND. AND EVENTUALLY COLIN TELLS DELI TO GO BACK TO HIS CAMP AND REFRESH HIMSELF AND CHANGE OUT OF THE DUSTY SPORES-COVERED ARMOR, STILL BLOODY FROM BATTLE, AND THATS WHEN DELI FINDS THE LETTER KARNA LEFT FOR HIM. AND. AND. AAUGHGGUGGG. DELI WHO WAS BETRAYED BY AND THEN IMMEDIATELY LOST ARIANA AND THEN ALMOST LOST KARNA AND COLIN WHO'S THERE BESIDE HIM BUT SO COLD AND SO LOST AND DELI IS. AUGHGRUG. THERES SOMETHING HERE AND MAYBE ITS JUST FOR ME BUT ITS HERE.

#HI GANG IM STILL ON MY COLINDELIKARNA TRAIN CHOO CHOO #canon death i do not see you i do not recognize. i appreciate the narrative implications of karna dying but. also. no i dont #i just think. karna learning the lesson of balance that raphaniel got too late and once again serving as his foil and being the one to TAKE #the lesson and carry it forward. soemtihng something karna who started rotting way too young and maybe there's not a way to reverse the rot #that was already cut away from her body and maybe she can't undo the things she's already done. but she can learn a new balance #she can achieve new growth. and maybe her leaves will always have jagged holes in them. cauterized and rough. and maybe the skin of her #cheek will always be pockmarked and grey where it should be smooth and ruddy. but she is alive. and she can turn her one good eye up to the #the light of the bulb and even if she doesn't believe in it. she can see it. and she can grow under its warmth. yk? #also i want her to sail alongside colin and deli. i think ot3 pirate throuple would be really fun for me honestly #trw #d20 #karna solara #thane delissandro katzon #amangeaux epicée du peche #colin provolone #raphaniel charlock #d20 spoilers

[that-cheer-up-anon]

Would love to not spend $20 on a doctor appointment to tell me that the weird blood spots on my legs that are now reaching my arms "just happens" and tell me not to do anything about it. You know. Something that has never happened to my body before and has lasted at least a month now.

#Ella life #super helpful #there's a closer doctor that specializes in skin and womens health but they're more expensive and I have no money #and work is low occupancy so barely any hours which means I probs won't even be able to make rent w my current wage #and w my bruised tailbone I honestly don't even want to work #I mean I hate that job and don't want to work but doing that job while still in pain is even worse #and bc of mass train station upgrades trains are going to be out from christmas to 18th January #HOW THE HELL AM I GONNA GET TO WORK????? #so yeah you could say I'm stressed #very stressed financially

[softly-mossy]

life really fucking sucks right now

#teddy situation has undone probably a year of recovering haha i fuckig hate landlords #basically told us we need to get rid of ted because 'he is a liability' #THE DAY BEFOREBTHANKSGIVING #and i was expected to be chipper and happy at family dinner. #naw man. i havent really left the house because i wana spend time with ted hahahaha #he's going to live at my sister's place but still. i dont want him to have to go #selfharmed as in nearly scraped the skin off the entire back of my left hand #WAS HIT WITH 'I HONESTLY FIGURED/EXPECTED YOU TO (SELF HARM' LIKE DAMN HAHA #idk. i want to be hit by a fucking car. or anything else that will blast me away. #had another prospective friend end up being just a dumbfuck that wanted an easy lay #dad's been home all week #its just a lot man. and losing all that progress i worked hard for its another kick to the teeth #and its like. why should i go see my therapist again. im gonna tell her whats wrong. im gonna cry. she oretends to care. i come home #i just dont want to be here anymore. i dont. i keep hoping for things to get better because thats what im told to do and things get worse #i cannot live the rest of my life like this. im allowed to be selfish and say it isnt fair to me. and nobody should be stucj dealing with me #im not gonna have a happy ending like all my friends did. im gonna be lonely and suicidal until i finally get thr balls to just fucking doit #local idiot sad

[cassandraleeds]

The trans button question fucks with me every time and I'm on T. Like I don't fucking know, dude. I just know that the way it was before felt worse.

#blehhh #jealous honestly of folks that just like know what they wish for? idk how to explain it. i don't know what I'm missing #i just know that it's been worth it to have my brain hormonally work better #intrusive thoughts just walk through the room instead of climbing up under my skin #and my pelvic floor doesn't want to fall out because muscle tone is sustainable #but the gender stuff is so hard to grasp. moments of calm recognition amid a low level fear in permanent steps away from coping mechanisms #the voice thing is rough. i wish i loved it all the time but it's still changing and it just sounds weird to me a lot.