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bratprincedyke · 1 year

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Roman Manfredi We/Us

Butches and Studs from working class backgrounds within the British landscape

Co-curated by Ingrid Pollard

Exhibition: 9 March – 3 June 2023 at Space station 65, Kennington, London

Opening hours: 12 – 6PM, Wednesday – Saturdays

Free to visit. Accessible. All welcome.

We/Us is an intergenerational photography and oral history project that celebrates the presence of butches and studs from working-class backgrounds within the British landscape. The project explores the experience of female masculinity through the structures of class and race all over the UK, capturing our diversity as well as our commonality.

When searching for images of butches and studs online, most that come up are from a bygone era, or from the US. Conversations around gender and identity today are often academic and London-centric, sometimes forgetting that our identities are informed by our every day lived experiences.

Our history and our lived experience is our gift to the world.

– Joan Nestle, Restricted Country

Exhibition audio - Participants were interviews about their lives and experiences,

Instagram

Vice uk feature

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leikeliscomet · 3 months

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A Brief Look at Stem(me) History

Wanted to know more about Black lesbian identities and I couldn't find a lot on Tumblr or Twitter so I did some research on stem/stemme myself. I'm not involved in queer discourse like that but I've noticed stemme being compared with futch both positively an negatively. The term "futch" is a mash up of butch and femme and the OG Futch Scale was posted 17th February 2011. In 2015, it got posted to Tumblr and became a meme, then an accidental "guide" on lesbian identity. Regardless of stances pro-futch or anti-futch I wanted to find info on stem/stemme as a Black lesbian identity for gender and gender expression. The modern definition of a stem/stemme is a Black lesbian whose gender expression and mannerisms fall between stud and femme. I've managed to find definitions not only supporting this but also definitions predating the futch scale, both pre and post meme version:

"Stem – A person whose gender expression falls somewhere between a stud and a femme. (See also ‘Femme’ and ‘Stud’.)" Stud is defined as "An African-American and/or Latina masculine lesbian. Also known as ‘butch’ or ‘aggressive’." (John Jay College of Criminal Justice LGBTQ+ Terminology, Eli R. Green, 2003-2004)

"Stemm A stemm is a gay/lesbian female who dresses like a guy, and dresses like a girl. Person 1: Look at that girl, she looks like a dude with all those guy clothes on, she has to be a stud Person 2: Well she was wearing girly clothes yesterday, so I thought she was a femm Person 3: Actually she's a stemm, she's wears boy clothes sometimes, and girl clothes other times" (Urban Dictionary definition of Stemm by user JenniferHill, November 8th 2009)

"A lesbian, who identifies as a Stemme, retains traits from both Femme and Stud/ Butch lesbians. Stemmes are in the center of the lesbian spectrum of classification and identities. Therefore, it is considered natural or common for Stemme lesbians to share the same behaviors as women of two diverse identity groups. Often times, the Stemme identity is viewed as the “transitional” stage of lesbianism, when a lesbian woman goes from being a Femme to a Stud/ Butch, or (on rear occasions) from a Stud/ Butch to a Femme... *In this blog the characteristic and behavioral difference between a Femme and a Stud is conjoined. The way a Femme or a Stud dresses is not the only way she can be identified. They can also be distinguished by their attitudes, actions and the way they interact with other people. A Stemme is the in-between identity of a Stud and Femme. She is apart of both groups and her identity is subject to change at anytime. A Stemme identity is often referred to as the transitional stage; however, some lesbian women remain a Stemme because they enjoy representing male and female dominance." (Lesbian Identity: Stemme, Nell S., 6th Nov 2009)

"'one who could switch up one day, she could be a femme and other occasions dress like she has a li’l hood, li’l ghetto inside her; a stemme – part femme part stud a tomboy'" (STORY OF INTEREST: Lesbian Speaks Out, Dominica News Online, April 12th 2010)

"Stemmes presented themselves one day as femme and another day as stud; as such, they were visibly unrecognisable unless they divulged their gender identity. Stemmes expose the amorphous nature of gender identity and are invisible – silenced, ostracised or prescribed a gender identity. Many participants refused to recognise that stemmes existed and instead described them as confused. As Shane (age 22) admitted: ‘Sometimes they [studs and femmes] think that we’re confused. We don’t know what we want to be.’ Stemmes show that personal identity claims were often at odds with community perceptions of identity." (Good gay females and babies' daddies: Black lesbian community norms and the acceptability of pregnancy, Sarah J. Reed, Robin Lin Miller, Maria T. Valenti & Tina M. Timm, 21st April 2011)

"Stem, described as a cross between or combination of stud and femme, is a label that was used to refer to a lesbian that presented both masculine and feminine traits and characteristics. Short Dawg said, 'A stem, for me, is a little mixture of a lot of different things. One day you can be super feminine, and the next day you can be not so feminine.'" (Labelling, Butch, Femme Dyke Or Lipstick, Aren't All Lesbians The Same?: An Exploration Of Labels And "Looks" Among Lesbians In The U.S. South, Danielle Kerr, 2013)

Videos

Who has it harder in the world of lesbians? [studs? stems? or fems?}, iRoqStarStemme, 10th Jan 2011

WTH is a STEM??, AmbersCloset, 1st Feb 2013

The Black Lesbian Handbook: The Stem, Channel 4, 9th Feb 2015

There's a lot more I found and I'll post each article and video separately because they all go into more detail but tl;dr;

Stem(me) is an identity coined by Black lesbian spaces

Stem(me) mainly follows stud/femme dynamics rather than butch/femme (but can reference it)

Stem(me) predates the futch scale meme

Stem(me) is defined by clothing but also behaviours, so it can be a form of Black gender expression or gender itself

#lesbian #black lesbian #black sapphic #black queer women #black lesbian history #stemme lesbian #stemme #black wlw #lesbian history #sapphic history #wlw history #stem lesbian #stud lesbian #masc lesbian #chapstick lesbian #stud fem #stud femme

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simbistardis · 18 days

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Stemmes presented themselves one day as femme and another day as stud; as such, they were visibly unrecognisable unless they divulged their gender identity. Stemmes expose the amorphous nature of gender identity and are invisible – silenced, ostracised or prescribed a gender identity. Many participants refused to recognise that stemmes existed and instead described them as confused. As Shane (age 22) admitted: ‘Sometimes they [studs and femmes] think that we’re confused. We don’t know what we want to be.’ Stemmes show that personal identity claims were often at odds with community perceptions of identity. Stemmes presented themselves one day as femme and another day as stud; as such, they were visibly unrecognisable unless they divulged their gender identity. Stemmes expose the amorphous nature of gender identity and are invisible – silenced, ostracised or prescribed a gender identity. Many participants refused to recognise that stemmes existed and instead described them as confused. As Shane (age 22) admitted: ‘Sometimes they [studs and femmes] think that we’re confused. We don’t know what we want to be.’ Stemmes show that personal identity claims were often at odds with community perceptions of identity.

Stud-femme dating was the norm in this community, as it was in the community studied by Wilson (2009) in her analysis of Black lesbian sexual culture. Stemmes dated both femmes and studs, but often exhibited a preference for dating one or the other, they altered their behaviour and appearance often based on their relationship. Studs were uneasy at the thought of dating stemmes because they worried stemmes might ‘switch up’, which would upset the rules of who was allowed to date whom.

Good gay females had to be ‘females’, which excluded studs and stemmes who were more masculine in their gender presentation from receiving the same support as appropriate mothers. For femmes, motherhood signified femininity. Due to their own gender beliefs and the gender norms of their community, femmes could most easily integrate motherhood with their gender identity.

Though babies’ daddies tended to be studs, on rare occasions stemmes identified as a baby’s daddy. However, stemmes did not derive as much meaning from the role. Instead, referring to themselves as babies’ daddy was a way to signify to women that they were interested in dating them. As Shae (age 20) explained, stemmes referred to themselves as a baby’s daddy, ‘Because they love, or like, the women whose child it is.’ For stemmes, one adopted the role to relate to the mother rather than to fulfil parenting desires per se. Stemmes joked about being a baby’s daddy, whereas studs took the role seriously, talked about it in terms of responsibility and truly ‘think of they self as daddy’. In either usage – either as a role or a relational device – the word implies a family identity, much like other same-sex couples who use last names to negotiate family identity (Suter, Daas, and Bergen 2008). Stemmes did not actively seek the role of baby’s daddy, whereas there is evidence that studs may.

Good gay females and babies' daddies: Black lesbian community norms and the acceptability of pregnancy, Sarah J. Reed, Robin Lin Miller, Maria T. Valenti & Tina M. Timm, 21st April 2011

#stem lesbian #stemme lesbian #stud lesbian #black lesbian history #black lesbian #lesbian history #stud fem #stud femme #black culture #lesbian #stem #stemme #masc lesbian

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elysianmadness · 6 days

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Happy lesbian visibility week/day to every lesbian around the world! I hope you're going to have a wonderful week, wherever you are. Your lesbianism is perfect and needed in the world. In this household, we love and appreciate the diversity of the lesbian experience <3

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dawuukie · 1 month

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love a black fem today love a black fem tomorrow LOVE A BLACK FEM FOREVER

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cobwebgf · 6 months

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Femmes who dress up for their partner!! Makes my heart burst. When y’all wear a perfume that you know will make us feral. When you wear our favorite color. When you wear cute underwear and matching sets. You guys have my heart.

#wlw #lesbian #thoughts #sapphic #wlw nsft #femme appreciation #femme bait #lgbt #sapphic yearning #butch 4 femme #femme 4 stud

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shes-gay-allday · 6 days

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Happy lesbian visibility week everyone!!

#lesbians #lesbian visibility week #lesbehonest #love #queer women #wlw community #lesbian blog #wlw post #femme lesbian #butch lesbian #trans lesbian #stud lesbian #stem lesbian #youre safe #love is love #happy #relationships #lesbian #wlw mood

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the-dan-ny · 8 days

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date idea: me sitting all comfy in an armchair with you straddling me talking about all your interests with wide gestures and with that wide beautiful smile that you have and I'm just sitting there listening carefully to everything you say while looking at you all lovey dovey and caressing your hips, thighs, back and whatever I can put my hands on

#lesbian #masc lesbian #butch lesbian #butch #dyke #sapphic #wlw #butch4femme #femme #stud lesbian #stud4femme #masc4femme #wlw post #lesbian love

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star-princess-princess · 2 years

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I need people to stop acting like studs are so aggressive and mean or are basically men. You’re racist and misogynistic. Studs are literally some of the sweetest people on the planet and have always acted as protectors of our community, It’s time we protect them back. This includes trans women/trans fems who identify as studs!!!

TERFS FUCK OFF

#high femme #stone femme #femme princess #pillow princess #femme4masc #femme4stud #femme #sapphic lesbian #femme4butch #sapphic love #black femme #femme for masc #sapphic longing #stud positivity #stud lesbian #stud fem #angel princess speaks

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simbistardis · 16 days

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Stem, described as a cross between or combination of stud and femme, is a label that was used to refer to a lesbian that presented both masculine and feminine traits and characteristics. Short Dawg said, "A stem, for me, is a little mixture of a lot of different things. One day you can be super feminine, and the next day you can be not so feminine." Sheila describes stem as: The ones that are not femmes, but they're not studs at the same time. They're in between, and they just go with the flow…Clothing-wise, it depends on the day. Some days they'll be girlie, some days they'll have men clothes on…Sometimes the tighter shirt, with maybe some cargo shorts or something like that. Onyx echoes these descriptions by stating, "they [stem] might have on pumps this day, and the next day they might be studded out." Jessica states: They [stem] might…have hair. They might not go straight to cutting their hair, or they might have haircuts, and some stems have short little afros, natural things. They might have on heels one day, and the next day, they have on polos [collar shirts]. In other words, Short Dawg, Sheila, Onyx, and Jessica describe stem as a label that is used to refer to a lesbian that exhibits an appearance that alternates between the traditional feminine and masculine styles of dress. While the previous quotes reference appearance practices used to describe the stem label, other respondents used traits in their description of the stem label. Rozay claimed: You've [stems] got that feminine look, but you've got a manly look at the same time. You might have on girly clothes, but the way you carry yourself might be manly or masculine. Sharing the same sentiments, Bo stated: It's [stem] a look. I think the labels are more look and personality. Because there are some feminine chicks who might put on some baggy jeans but they're still ultra feminine…If it was Aaliyah [heterosexual R&B singer known for wearing tight shirts with baggy pants], you would say that maybe she was a stem, because she is super feminine but she still has on baggy clothes. In other words, Rozay and Bo reference demeanor and personality as important in determining what kind of lesbian would fit the stem label.

There are other instances where labeling an individual poses a problem. The label, stem, in particular, was mentioned as problematic for both description and dating compatibility purposes. Sheila, a woman who has been labeled as stem by other people shared her experience about the challenges she faces as a result of simply dressing in clothing she finds comfortable for each particular day. Sheila does not like labels and does not attach one to herself, however, she knows that other people are looking at her and trying to attach a label to her. Sheila claimed that the task of labeling her becomes difficult for others because of her style of dress. This difficulty results in others labeling her based on how often they see her and what she is wearing during their encounters. Essentially, if they see her dressed in all women's clothes they will label her as femme. If they see her in all men's clothes they will label her as stud, but if they see her on multiple, separate occasions alternating between the two styles they will label her as stem and often attribute that label to her inability to make up her mind. Sheila recalls a recent incident: The girl I'm talking to, she calls me a stem all the time…I showed her a picture of my hair [in a feminine style rather than pulled back in a ponytail] and she was like, 'you look like a cute little stem, because you don't know whether you want to be a guy or a girl right now.' In this example, Sheila expresses her frustration with the label chosen by her peers in the insider group, but also the rules that she feels are being forced upon her to dress or behave in particular ways.

More often than not, respondents referred to a stem's style of dress as being unacceptable and confusing. Jessica and Samantha share some criticism about the stem label. Jessica said, "Stem? That's just for the people who's just there. Appearance and sometimes personality. I think they're schizophrenic." Samantha follows by saying, "They [stems] like stud one day, then femme the next day. See how it's confusing?" In this exchange, Jessica describes a stem as someone who is "just there." This is a derogatory phrase that refers to their inability to make up their mind about how they want to dress. In other words, they will dress in feminine or masculine clothes based on the way they feel that day. This exchange also provides another example of how heteronormative assumptions of gender display are reinforced in the lesbian population. In other words, there are only two options for style of dress and they are either masculine or feminine, not a combination of the two. Jessica and Samantha go on later to discuss how the stem label can interfere with a woman's dating compatibility: Jessica: It interferes with who's interested in you and who you would be interested in because how could a person like me [a stud style of dress]--I like my heel women [femme women] I might see heels and I'm like, 'Oh, she's attractive.' The next day, I see you [the same woman] in polo boots and some baggy Levis and it just threw me off. Samantha: It [stem style of dress] messes me up. Jessica: I'm not as attracted to you as I was when I saw you [a woman in heels from before]. I'm not even attracted to you, let's just state the facts. I'm not attracted to you at all in your polo boots and your shirts or whatever, your Levis, because I saw you the other day and you had on heels, and I was like, 'Oh she's pretty. She's a pretty woman,' but now you look like a pretty woman like me [stud style of dress]. I'm not saying I'm not pretty, but a pretty woman like me [is not what she finds attractive]. In this scenario, not only does Jessica exhibit discontent for stem labeled lesbians due to their lack of a distinct style of dress, she also implies the heteronormative assumption that masculine and feminine styles belong together in a relationship rather than masculine and masculine styles.

(Labelling, Butch, Femme Dyke Or Lipstick, Aren't All Lesbians The Same?: An Exploration Of Labels And "Looks" Among Lesbians In The U.S. South, Danielle Kerr, 2013)

Personal notes: I think its interesting how the hostility towards stems overlaps with anti-stud4stud. There's an assumption its inappropriate for two masculine women to be together so in turn, there's a distain for studstemme because the stem could present masculine or play masculine roles. Anti stud4stud is then explained in the next section. Would like to note Kerr concluded butchfemme/studfemme was being used to sanction heteronormativity, I personally do not. From a modern POV it's clear studphobia or 'stemphobia' towards masculine of centre lesbians is the root of this prejudice, not butchfemme/studfemme itself. This is for educational purposes only and I don't cosign all authors I repost.

#stem lesbian #black lesbian #lesbian history #stud fem #lesbian #stud femme #stem #stemme #stemme lesbian #black lesbian history

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stonetopbutch · 5 months

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Butch/femme culture doesn't really exist (in a historical context) where I'm from and for the longest time I felt...wrong. Even before I knew English, before I had access to the internet, before I even knew I liked women I felt different, I was different.

Eventually I came to realise I liked women, but even in the sapphic world I was not like the others. I didn't feel the same things as them, didn't have the same needs. I had dear friends telling me "you'll get over it eventually", "you'll feel different with the right one", "you still haven't tried it out?!" when I shared with them that I didn't want to be touched. I felt so alien. I thought something was deeply, deeply wrong with me. When I got with my first girlfriend every time we were intimate I felt greedy, like I was only taking and never, ever giving. I would apologise constantly while the guilt ate away at me.

Then I discovered what "stone" was. Fuck, was it good to find out that not only was I not "wrong", but there is an entire community of people like me and people who exclusively love people like me for the way we are, instead of despite it.

Stone shaming continues to be very prevalent in the sapphic world, both towards stone tops and stone bottoms. It is so important to have a space where we can exist without being shamed and judged. But the acceptance needs to happen outside of this space too. Being stone is not unusual, it's not bad, it's not wrong, and it most certainly does not make you "less gay" or a "fake lesbian".

I understand that not everyone can be satisfied with the strict dynamics of such a relationship, but to call being stone "an ick", "a phase" or to diminish it in any other way is just wrong.

Love and support your stone butches, studs and femmes.

#just a little rant #butch #femme #stud #RESPECT STONE LESBIANS #anyway

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violottie · 1 month

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shout out to lesbians whose gender is also lesbian

lesbians for whom the only way to describe yourself is lesbian or butch or femme or stud or dyke, for whom you don't identify as a woman but do identify as a lesbian.

i see you, and I understand, and i assure you we are exquisite

❤️🧡🤍🩷💖

#lesbian #lesbian pride #lesbianism #lesbian positivity #lesbian gender lesbian #butch lesbian #femme lesbian #stud lesbian #stone lesbian #trans lesbian #nonbinary lesbian #dyke #dyke pride

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sigmahimejoshi · 8 days

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Butch and Stud who talk to each other like their femme isn't even there during sex! They'll talk about how they're going to make the femme cum, what toys they're going to use, and everything they're going to do to them. Sometimes, they even talk to each other when they're both fucking their femme, and their femme's moans or whimpers will interrupt them and one of their doms always scolds them by saying "Shhh, the humans are talking!" Reminding the sub they're just a cute little plaything instead of a human!

#wlw and nblw only #wlw concepts #nsft concept #wlw nsft #wlw ns/fw #lesbian #butch4stud #butch4butch #butch4femme #lesbian sex #butch lesbian #stud4stud #studs #femme dyke #femme lesbian #stud4femme #requests

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kissbruised · 9 months

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oh to be a femme vampire having an enemies to lovers experience with a butch vampire hunter

#mine #butch #lesbian #femme #stone femme #femme4butch #butch/femme #stone butch #butch4femme #femme/stud #stud/femme #stud4femme #femme/butch

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