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saturnsummer · 3 years

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law school: love and goodbye letters

notes: i would like to give out love letters to the amazing cast, our 8 students from hankuk law school. like what the director said, i’ll support them in their journeys as they take a step into their new chapter, wherever they go. their stories continue and live on. it’s been an amazing journey, although I was initially hesitant on starting it. while i will definitely be suffering withdrawals and probably think about it too much, i’m thankful i started watching.

the finale has left me with so many thoughts, I want to send them off right. also, writing these letters have helped my process my feelings towards the show and stop me from getting so withdrawn. so, shall we begin this court hearing?

over the next couple of days, my inbox will be open to requests! i may not write the fastest, but I’m willing to fulfil any of your desires about law school now that it has ended.

(skip please, if you don’t want to see my personal reflections.)

HAN JOON HWI// KIM BEOM

you have been a pleasure to watch, a seasoned actor indeed. you brought life to joon hwi, depicting the student that is smart, aloof, but is actually caring for their friends alike.

joon hwi, when you entered law school, you wanted to be a prosecutor. now, you finally got your dream. you were broken, sad, betrayed by your uncle. you remind yourself that you cannot be your uncle. but at the end, you’re happy, aren’t you? you’ve been through hell, yet somehow you told yourself to hang on. believe it, samchoon is proud he raised a noble nephew to fight and correct the flaws in the law.

you have taught us the black and whites, yet seeing the greys of law. and with that, as you continue your journey as a prosecutor, remember to judge fairly and make sure no one suffers unjustly.

you’ve done well, kim beom. thank you.

KANG SOL A// RYU HYE YOUNG

hyeyoung, you’ve brought so many emotions across the screen. as kang dan and sol, you had the challenge to play polar opposites, the moon and sun. you were feisty, you were soft. yet, you brought the humane qualities out of sol, conveying it to us.

kang sol a, you represent that majority of students, or even adults alike. you’re single parented. you come from a broken family. you have an estranged sibling, one you try so hard to find. you are barely making enough to live by. on top of that, you are on a scholarship, yet scoring grades that skim the pass. you represent so many students in the world. yet, you didn’t let these weights hold you from feeling your passion into law. you fought tirelessly for your friends and family, and stayed grounded in your morals and values.

this is why you are my personal favourite. that you love and strive for something so much, you work on it endlessly and still rigorously put in hard work. your passion for law inspires me to be equally passionate for my future degree as well. the fact that you went to law school seeking an apology, I hope you have gotten your apology. your zeal for justice will live on.

as a lawyer now, i hope you will remember your endless nights. i hope you know your worth. i hope that everyday, you trust yourself and be bold and courageous, like how you are when defending for your professor. you will excel, and you will be a good lawyer.

so thank you, for speaking up for the students who find it tough to get through school. for telling us and giving us faith that we can survive.

KANG SOL B// LEE SOO KYUNG

sookyung, you are far from your character of solb. yet, you were a perfect representation. you were elegant, classy and held that prestige whenever you acted.

solb, you represent that group of us that are pressured. when the society pressures us, it is nothing compared to our family’s pressures. you held your mom’s pressure to heart, studying endlessly, trapped in a cage that you couldn’t get out of. you isolated yourself to break free, acting cold.

you finally broke free, with your consultations with your therapist. and i hope you know just how proud i am of you for standing up for yourself. your unnies and oppas will always be supporting you, and wherever you are now, whether you are training to be a judge or not, i hope you never forget that you are supported. you are a free bird, and you should do things for yourself.

thank you, for being the solb we have learnt to love, the student we aspire to be. solb, you are forever an A+ in our eyes.

SEO JI HO// LEE DAVID

david, you are the man backstage always goofing off. your character hates goofing. yet, your simple eyes and acting brought so many emotions. you didn’t have many emotional scenes, but your expressions were so well done.

jiho, you started law to fight for your dad, for justice to be served. but over your journey, aren’t you glad you have made so many friends? your 3 years there have proved that you have earned justice, but you earned friendships that you will never experience anywhere else.

wherever you are, if you are at a law firm working and earning lots of money, cherish the friendships. justice is served. learn and let go, and maybe you will enjoy your life a bit more.

JEON YE SEUL// GO YOUN JUNG

youn jung, where can i start? your acting was phenomenal. you played the cheery girl so well, yet at the same time you empathised with the victim of a domestic abuse. your scenes blew me away.

yeseul, I hope you carry this on your heart. you are loved, you are right. you are not wrong. you speak up for those abused, because you were once them. with the power of the law, I know you will go on to defend for them and fight for them. you will bring justice, and you will be the woman of power in the courtroom.

leave your immature self behind. you have matured to be a woman of confidence, boldness and most importantly, knowing you are not wrong.

you will be the woman of the courtroom. your kindness is your strength. wherever you are, defending abuse victims, thank you for speaking out for the millions of women who victimise themselves, still. you have inspired the generation of women to provide support for them.

MIN BOK GI// LEE KANG JI

kangji, your goofiness on set and in the show plays out especially well. you were lively, yet at the same time the right support we needed.

bokgi, you will forever be remembered as the boy who comes to classes with a head band. you were casual, easy going and the extroverted one in the study group. you brought life to them, taught them to live and take things easy. you supported yeseul regardless, and always stop by her side. you are unafraid to be defensive over your friends.

for that, we thank you for being the character that is loyal. that regardless of what happened, you stayed with your group even though you could easily walk away.

JO YE BEOM// KIM MIN SEOK

minseok, you were fun to watch on set, yet a more fun character to watch grow with your actor friends. yebeom had many iconic lines, yet you did well in them.

yebeom, I will not understand why you were a spy. i however, will empathise your situation. what could you do? regardless, all that is useless now. you were sidekicks with your bestie bokgi, and together, you were both the life of the group that reminded them to breathe.

you made a good choice to be honest when sol a confronted you. and you should be thankful that the group still kept you even after all that. I hope that in your law career, you will remember the codes of law, and remember what is right. you stand for truth, you stand for justice.

YOO SEUNG JAE// HYUN WOO

hyunwoo, you had lesser scenes, yet each scene you had was a turmoil of emotions each time. you conveyed your emotions so well, and I’m so impressed.

seungjae, you are the oldest of the study group. you’ve been through a lot, haven’t you? you’re permanently suspended from law school, and with a kid now. I hope things are going well for you, whether you are a doctor or a computer guy now.

thank you for being the bigger man, to admit to his mistakes and asking for a bigger punishment. you have deep regrets, but I know you will grow and learn from them. you deserve your happiness.

to my law school fam,

thank you for this beautiful journey. you have taught me to be righteous, to be bold and to be confident. you taught me the results of tenacity. you taught me how to upload my values. you taught me the reasons to be lawful and that I should stand by my morals. you taught me confidence and courage.

truth and justice, only by the law.

it’s been a journey, my graduates. I close the hearing as make my final decision. i will close my case.

thank you, directors, pds, writers, staff, editors, musicians, make up and stylists. I hope you will meet again on another shoot.

goodbye, thank you. we’ll see each other again.

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janiedean · 5 years

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Why do you think the SW fandom is so knee-deep in SJ Calvinism? Because I understand wanting representation or being upset because a movie didn’t fulfill your expectations, but the “if you don’t ship X you’re racist” “if you don’t stan Y you’re bigoted” and the harassment over a disappointing movie is surprising just because of how pervasive it is. I was trying to find some St*rmpilot blogs to follow and the amount of hate is Yikes, especially the hate for Rose and the stans of a Certain Ship

eeeeeeh I think it’s because ep. 7 came out at the height of the... well, reaping the seeds the social justice calvinism had sown since 2014 so to speak? I mean, SW is hardly the one fandom where it happened (*cough* voltron and SU *cough*) but as SW is way broader in audience than those other shows that certainly didn’t help, but like, if you think on it, since 2013-ish (but I think before as well, I mean, I’ve been here since 2011 and already when I got here I felt like something was going very wrong when it came to politics-in-fandom-attitude), basically people on tumblr have progressively, when it came to fandoms:

pushed the idea that you have to over-analyze everything you consume through political lens;

pushed the idea that what you like and how you like it also has to be pushed through political lens and what you like says things about who you are as a person or your political leanings;

pushed the idea that if you care for something *problematic* just because you like it you’re excusing it;

pushed the idea that if you were problematic once you can’t ever not be problematic, you can’t change your mind and you can’t learn also because ‘it’s not my job to educate you’ so people either learn themselves or idek what but again, calvinism.

now obviously those politics are tumblr-politics which are also US centric like woah and are also high-school petty like woah, and since more or less then people have:

continuously other-ed lgbt people from *straight*/heterosexual people pushing a narrative where straight = bad and therefore putting it before anything automatically makes it a valid insult which added to the above means that if you ship het you’re already problematic regardless of whether you’re straight or not (and if you are.. lol);

pushed the performative feminism of Doom TM that says men and women should be equal but is like, an excuse to shit on men and on women who like men (see the rampant biphobia around and the whole ‘straight girls are so stupid if they’re into men they should try women’ discourse);

pushed the US terminology when it comes to the POC discourse, in the sense that everything works on the US-centered context where white people = white anglosaxon protestant, poc = everything else without realizing that in the rest of the world white does not equal wasp, that poc = black people only in most of europe (and no one who’s actually black or not white who lives in africa or asia and so on would describe themselves as poc because why the hell would you when your skin color/ethinicity is the norm where you live?), which also goes with the whole white passing debate which where I live would not exist but in that context is a mess because again, oscar i*saac is schroedinger’s poc (as in, he’s poc automatically for american standards because he’s latin-american but like he has the same skin tone as my mother and my mother in italy is white same as 90% of us, which means endless confusion) and assumed that all of us have to accept that terminology/context regardless of whether it’s valid in our countries;

kept on progressively putting minorities against each other in an endless loop of WHO HAS IT WORST/oppression olympics;

kept on progressively split hairs on issues that aren’t exactly, like, that important if there’s more urgent stuff to deal with because 90% of the activism here is performative;

made the 180° turn for which headcanons and shit are seen as, like, doing representation instead of, you know, supporting what rep is there never mind when people decide *one* ship is the right one and if another is canonized and it’s rep it gets thoroughly ignored;

pushed on a mindset for which if something isn’t perfect at the get-go then it’s canceled.

and so on.

like, all of that shit has been continuously not criticized because criticizing it especially if you don’t belong to a minority means that you’re out of line/discussing things that don’t concern you, but if you’re a minority and you criticize it then it’s suddenly YOU BETRAYED OUR CAUSE *INSERT SLUR HERE ABOUT PANDERING TO THE MAJORITY*, and the result exploded in toxic af fandoms, but like... if you look at the issues of the SW sequel trilogy fandom it’s all of that in a nutshell because:

k/ylo ren is automatically the worst because he’s white (horrible), a man (even worse), not canonically attractive (I didn’t touch on that topic bc I’m honestly not up for it mentally but lmao that counts too) and presumably heterosexual (or well, no one said he’s not but you know, since he’s a white dude on the bad side [supposedly] then we don’t give him the benefit of the doubt that he might be bi), so if you like ky/lo ren or relate to him you’re automatically problematic;

shipping re/ylo because automatically problematic because it’s a *straight* (evil) ship made of two white people (when there’s options to ship them both with people that aren’t white, so IT’S RACIST), they have an age gap (BAD BECAUSE POWER IMBALANCE) and it’s enemies to lovers, so it’s a context where people who don’t conceive redemption or that people can become better are basically crying problematic all the time, and the fact that people decided it’s *abusive* when it has like nothing that can equate it to a really abusive relationship says all;

ky/lux being the most popular slash ship immediately means that it’s the fault of the horrible straight (white) women fetishizing the (white) men on the dark side (when it’s most likely because for a while ky/lux was literally the only side of that fandom where people were chill/there wasn’t wank every other moment);

st/ormpilot has been declared The Right Ship because it’s two non-white men and it’s not straight which automatically turns into what I said before about hating other ships that would be rep anyway and feeds into the lowkey oppression olympics racism, because like if finn/rose becomes canon it’s still a mixed/biracial ship because he’s black and she’s asian....... except that it’s not the right ship for people who decided that finn has to be either with rey or poe (and guess what rey is white and poe is... schroedinger’s poc because oscar isaac in europe wouldn’t pass for *poc*), which to me has stank of lowkey racism since tlj came out because sorry but if ‘finn deserves better than rose’ or ‘finn should be with rey because if he doesn’t get rey then it’s unfair’ and the various other bullshit I read on the topic basically says that the white woman is *worthier* than the asian woman or that rose is a downgrade from rey which is fucking bullshit, rose isn’t even a bad character all the contrary. and that’s for the het side of it, but like then it’s not as good as stormpilot because it’s a straight ship (NOOOO THEY MADE FINN STRAIGHT/THEY’RE NOT MAKING THEM GAY THIS IS SUCH BULLSHIT = stuff I legit saw on the tag) and ngl I’m 100% sure that the fact that daisy is Standard Attractive and kelly marie t/ran is lovely but doesn't conform to the usual beauty standard western-viewers apply on asian women did play a role in there, but: what did I say before? the slash ship is automatically better than the het ship never mind that they’re both biracial and rose is actually a rep (asian girls who don’t adhere to stereotypical body shapes - and like, the rep for all body types and shapes should be valid for all women, not just white) that isn’t exactly popular especially in mainstream cinema, so people should be happy.... but since rose is Not A Dude and Not Rey and Not The Right Kind Of Representation For That Crowd, automatically rose is a shit character and deserves to be viciously hated on. and this is a thing done by people who most likely then turn on the other side and talk shit about horrible straight women who hate the only female character for getting in the way of their slash ship without realizing that their rose hate is exactly that. and of course since sto/rmpilot is the two good guys, if you ship that then you also have to hate re/ylo because how can you, a person who ships The Good Ship On The Light Side, support such a problematic enemies to lovers thing? yeah, right, hahaha.

this also tbqh also pairs up with how on tumblr people only recognize mental health issues/abuse victims when the narrative suits them - like, being a bad victim automatically means you lose sympathy and mental health issues are only valid if you aren’t ***privileged*** otherwise why would you have them, which shows transparently in how a lot of people absolutely deny that ky/lo ren is a) an abuse victim, b) obviously mentally ill however it is that he deals with it, but no, he has to be The Most Horrible In Existence Because Otherwise We Should Have Empathy For A Bad Guy Who Also Might Get Redeemed And Redemption Is Not Happening Ever Because Bad People Don’t Deserve it.

like, all of the issues sw sequel trilogy has when it comes to the fandom are direct consequences of the nonsensical social justice calvinism climate on tumblr dot com that no one took care to put a stop to since 2013 and of its ridiculous oppression olympics and pitting people against each other and that was my take. cheers.

(ps: I also ship sto/rmpilot like woah and it’s my otp but there’s a reason why I unfollowed most SP blogs I followed and why I don’t go into the tag anymore - I’m not here for the anti-rose racism dressed up as performative wokeness, I’m not here to get lectured about as a white person I fetishize poc gay men if I ship it - yes I read that too - and I’m not here to read a bunch of meta about how re/ylo is a bad ship and blah blah blah, so yeah. I feel you.) (pps: ky/lo ren isn’t even my favorite character and I care relatively but gdi the way the fandom approaches him is honestly mindboggling in that sense, and I don’t mean people who actually dislike him because fair reasons, I mean people who can’t recognize his abuse victim status and the precarious status of his mental health. like, not all abuse victims and mentally ill people are the right victim or come from the right background and you can be cool motive still murder and still recognize that he’s like that because he has issues, not because he was drawn that way. /bye)

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #i said my piece bye #reylo for ts #kylo ren for ts #sw wank for ts #i don't mean ppl shouldn't be uncomfortable with re/ylo or ky/lo btw #but like........... this level of vitriol is ridiculous #and the rose hate is dumb af #bye *shrug*#social justice calvinism #the first person whining about straight people feeling left out as last time this happened #is getting automatically blocked bye #Anonymous #ask post

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baddieromanova · 5 years

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Why do you hate halice so much

Iwas deliberating on whether to make this short and sweet or long andintriguing. I went for the second.

For starters, they have no chemistry. Andchemistry is an important component for me when it comes to shipping, as I’msure it is with everyone and I know that doesn’t say much given the fact thatchemistry between couples doesn’t seem to be Riverdale’s strong suit anyway,but back to my initial point; The chemistry between Alice/Madchen andHal/Lochlyn was never strong to me and they seemed to lack it in everydepartment, sexual, emotional, romantic, platonic, intellectual, you name it,they ranked low on the scale in all of them. There appears to be a generalconsensus within fandoms that chemistry is subjective based on the sexualpassion between two people but as briefly mentioned before chemistry is a muchlarger scale. This isn’t just something I’m applying to Halice either becausebelieve me I’ve shipped couples who’s sexual/passionate chemistry wasn’t thatstrong but their emotional and intellectual and platonic chemistry was off thecharts, so despite Alice and Hal’s sexual/passion related chemistry lackingwhile Alice and FP’s literally jumps off the screen, I still couldn’t root forthat ship because the other aspects of chemistry are also non existent.

Secondly, and I’ve stated this before, they are an incredibly boring and clichecouple, who to be honest have nothing ship or root worthy going for them.There’s no interesting dynamic, they’re very dull and incredibly basic. They’repretty much an adult B/ghead to be honest. While the Riverdale writers triedand failed to apply the bad boy good girl trope to that couple, Halice gotslapped with the suburban Stepford duo trope but also included the woman with abad girl past married to the rich guy who could help her escape it trope. Bigmistake as it pretty much rendered Halice as doomed from the start, not tomention those tropes are over done and the first one can be incredibly boring.I’ve seen this trope with TV couples before who I knew were destined forfailure from the beginning and I was always right. So in my head, whenever Isee these types of pretty suburban picture couples I don’t care about thembecause they always end in disaster and I’m starting to think it’s intentionalfor TV writers. I’m sure there’s a whole list but one TV couple/family thatcomes to mind that I compare Halice/the Coopers to is Bree and Rex/the Van derKamps from Desperate Housewives. Bree and Rex? Not ship worthy, in fact sounworthy of shipping that I’m pretty sure a lot of Desperate Housewives fanshave forgotten who he was and he ranks the lowest on the list of Bree’s ships.These couples are always more concerned with keeping up a facade of being theideal perfect suburban family for the rest of the town while behind that whitePickett fence is a whole bunch of fuckery going on that they deliberatelyignore or try to brush under the carpet. These couples also seem to haveproblems within their marriage or their marriage is already dead and they’vespent so long caring more about their image over anything else that they don’teven realise it yet. There’s also never really any romance, you find yourselfquestioning if they’re actually in love or just a legally binding co parentingarrangement under the same roof. I absolutely hated what this obsession did forAlice’s character and her as a person. I wasn’t fond of her in the early stagesof the show, I started to understand her more in 1x08 and warm towards her inmid season two because I saw who she really was. When Hal wasn’t in the pictureand she decided the bullshit he pulled with Polly was the final straw, shestopped being that judging heartless suburban cow and actually became a mother.And then when Hal came back into the picture in early season two parts of thatAlice that I didn’t like before kind of creeped out and I hated it, it made menot only sick but skip a lot of Cooper family scenes. That for me confirmedthat it was Hal’s presence that made Alice so unlikeable, and that’s the reasonI had been rooting for a Halice divorce since season one. And to get personalfor a minute, I believe in ship and let ship but I’m sorry, I have to abandonthat rule where Halice is concerned because I just don’t understand how anybodycan genuinely ship them and I don’t believe anybody actually does. The onlypeople who “ship” Halice are people who are anti Falice, which pretty muchproves my point as they don’t like the couple, they just hate the onesupposedly competing against it. It’s what I like to call spite shipping;Rooting for one of the characters in an established ship to be with somebodyelse, despite it possibly being a toxic pairing, (this isn’t always the case,most times the couple that’s being spite shipped is perfectly unproblematic andhealthy) simply because you hate the relationship that character is already inor even pretending to care about a couple and “ship” them because you want topit them against a couple that you hate and use that spite ship to shit onthem. I’ve seen this so much in the fandom recently and hey, I’m no stranger toit either, I spite shipped Barchie because I’m not a fan of the other Bettypairing but the truth is I honestly do not give a rats ass about Barchie,whether they’re endgame whether they get screentime, I just don’t care and Inever have, in fact I want Archosie to be endgame and I don’t actually shipBetty with anybody because to me she’s one of those characters who are betteroff single. While we’re still on topic I’ll provide more examples, Fladys has abunch of spite shippers. FP always looks like he wants to blow his brains outwhenever he’s in Gladys’ presence on top of that she’s also using him and hasan ulterior motive for coming back into his life, Skeet has also describedtheir relationship as toxic himself. Given all that you’d think they’drightfully have no support but of course people hate Falice just that much sothey’ve jumped aboard the sinking Fladys ship. I’ve also heard this appears tobe the case with some Veggie and Archosie shippers or should I say “shippers”as I’ve seen one or two people make call our posts about some fans of those twopairings just being very anti Varchie, I’m not 100% sure but if it’s true thenyes it’s a perfect example of what I’m talking about. As for putting shipsagainst each other this also happened with some of the Falice anti’s in theteen character fandoms and Tierra. For like 3 weeks, it was all “We don’t careabout the parents! This is a teen show! Fuck the fossils!” whenever parentdalestans talked about the parents and screen time then after 3x12 it was all “Tomand Sierra are the only wrinklys who deserve rights! The best parent ship!”They did all that just to shit on Falice they never cared about Tom and Sierra.What made it funnier is that these very people didn’t even know Sierra’s nameuntil maybe a month ago, they had been calling her mayor McCoy or Josie’s mumfor like 3 seasons.

Thirdly, and this is more subjective, Hal is just a dick.And that’s putting it nicely. I had this opinion long before the black hoodfiasco, which I will not talk about in this post, so I don’t get accused ofbeing biased or falling for the writers supposed retcon to make Falice happenand end Halice recklessly when Halice stans find this. In fact, I had thisopinion long before I even shipped Falice, which is just shy of a year now. Toput it bluntly I disliked Hal from season one, 1x08 to be exact and even beforethat I just didn’t care about him, learning more about him and his and Alice’sback story certainly didn’t help that either. That whole argument between thetwo of them in episode 8 is enough to hop off the Halice ship. The scene isaround 3 minutes long and in it we learnt that the two are clearlyincompatible, don’t trust each other enough to tell the other important things(more so a problem on Hal’s part), Hal doesn’t respect her highly enough as hiswife and that Hal is a controlling asshole who thinks he can police women’sbodies. (There was more that we learnt about their relationship but it’sirrelevant to this section of the post) As a womanist, heck, as a selfrespecting person who doesn’t let anybody, especially men (aka Mother Nature’sbiggest mistake) treat me like shit I can’t root for a couple where the husbandtreats his wife like that, it’s just not gonna happen. Do I also need tomention he had the audacity to try and stop her from tracking down her longlost son as if he should have even had a say in the matter in the first place?Regardless of paternity? Yeah, nuff said.

Fourthly, and this is also partly subjective,the writers have established (and I am well aware that’s not saying much eithergiven that the show’s writers are terrible) that Falice is the ship directionthey’re going into and Halice and even Fladys shouldn’t even be consideredcompetition or anything of the kind. This isn’t a love triangle or square. It’snot a rivalry or another Delena vs Stelena or Brucas vs Leyton. Falice is theship they get asked about, Falice is the ship they’ve spent 3 seasons buildinga back story and relationship around, Falice is the ship that gets attention inthe media while the other two are paid dust. The writers have made it clearthat FP and Alice are victims of the one that got away trope and are still verymuch in love. Halice and Fladys are the furthest thing from competition,they’ve already got Hal the fuck up out here and have presented Gladys as avillain making a play for the town and engaging in criminal activity whilesimultaneously pulling the wool over her Sheriff husband’s eyes so they’repretty much a ticking time bomb already that I can’t wait to see explode. Sowith all of this, of course I’m not going to be a fan of Halice knowing thewriters have/had other plans in mind.

#falice #halice #fladys

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kuronekonerochan · 6 years

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Rambles on Miss Hammurabi (light spoilers for the first episodes)

I like it. I like the moral dilemmas they face, I like how idealistic she is and how everything is not so black and white and forces her to meet in the middle and find suitable solutions. I like how her pushiness in turn makes her colleagues consider more the individual and not go by the textbook law and give in a bit and show some kindness and humanity on the rulings. I also enjoy how they tackle a different social issue each week and how the resolution is not perfect and they second guess and regret their rulings, even if they came to the conclusion that rationally, and abiding the law it was the right decision. The way they all have their moments of doubt in the system and whether they are doing what's right, or if they are actually making a difference or if it is all meaningless... it's great to watch and I love how the characters are so well fleshed out that they work through their self doubt but remain true to their personality and ideals, while improving because of their interactions with each other. The female lead (and the kdrama) sometimes feel a bit too preachy and on the nose, but the point is, you need people like that in the world... they might look too radical and sjw in their approach, but they do end up shaking things up just a bit when they go head to head with cynical bureaucrats and the people who "are just used to the way things are", and the middle ground they reach is certainly not an utopia, but it is definitely an improvement on the world, little by little. Without idealistic people like her, nothing changes for the better, and if there is no change, stagnation will inevitably lead backwards, changing for the worse. I didn't see the ahjumma harassing the guys scene as "funny" and I don't think the drama meant for it to be taken that way either. For me, the point of that was NOT that it was OK for it to happen because they were old ladies catcalling and grabbing younger guys, but it was so that they'd experience and understand how embarrassing and humiliating it was and how helpless they felt (albeit for different reasons). I actually think it was a subtle and effective way for the drama to prove a point, although It might have been interpreted otherwise. The guys felt trapped because they couldn't express how wrong what was happening was and ask the old ladies to stop or get mad at them for their behavior... all because of the cultural belief that you should "respect" the elderly woman, regardless of their wrongdoings. Also, adding to it, they would look to outsiders as jerks for getting into an argument with "those sweet frail ahjummas". For all these reasons, they felt like they couldn't speak up and stop the old ladies, they had to endure it quietly. And that's the main point for me. The Female lead designed this as a sort of controlled experience so that the guys could understand how workplace harassing felt like for woman (they were in no danger of things escalating to full on assault from those ladies, unlike a real life situation with the opposing gender, plus she knew them and they toned it down afterwards, so she might have given the ladies a heads up and give them permission to go full out). I think it was just a way to make them understand how most times women feel helpless and have to play it for laughs and put up with it instead of speaking up, because of that same cultural constrains of "respecting their male co-workers/ superiors", worrying that society will label them as hysterical or disrespectful if they complain about a harmless comment our touch. Same goes for the comments on how exposed you are dressed and how that is somehow a sign of flirtiness and consent, which is not. None of this is funny, neither was that scene for me, I just think it was meant to give the viewer an idea of how harassment can be taken lightly when you put a bunch of old ladies as the perpetrators, and in doing so see how lightly it can be taken on a work environment from the perspective of the male workers, who will think catcalling a female co-worker is harmless, but on both cases none of that matters because the victims still feel ashamed, humiliated and helpless.

The drama is very light on romance, but for some reason I don't mind it here. You can feel the tenderness between the leads and how much they care for each other. Instead of a crazy whirlwind romance with a half-assed insta-love (cough, looking at you, About Time, still not sure WHY they love each other, they just suddenly do, ok, cough) I get a domestic feel as if this can be all be told many decades in the future to their grandchildren... the story of how they met each other and how they fell in love slowly after really getting to know and understand one another, attracted to each others personality, her bright idealism and tender heart, his strong sense of justice and troubled awkward heart. How they dated, got married, supported each others careers, went through hurdles together. And the quiet domestic tender vibe I get from them through their little actions and cute moments is somehow much more romantically appealing to me than most other current kdrama couples, though I could do with some more "contact". Come on guys, just kiss, already!

#kdrama #miss hammurabi #rambles #kdrama rambles #go ara #kpop l #kim myungsoo #spoilers

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megsblackfirewrites · 7 years

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My Golden Obsession: Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Gabriel ran his fingers slowly through Ana’s hair. She had finally died after the infection in her eye became too much. He’d tried to keep it clean, but there was only so much he could do when she refused to remain still while he was working. If she had only stopped thrashing while he peeled the skin off of her hands, this wouldn’t have been an issue.

“It’s too bad about Fareeha,” Gabriel said as he pushed Ana’s stringy hair out of her eyes. “She was so worried about you, Ana. But, I suppose, in the end, it’s for the best. She won’t have you telling her to go for something other than the military. It’s really too bad you weren’t as supportive of her as you could have been. She valued your opinion so much. Oh well.”

He patted her cheek and got to his feet. He whistled as he went to get his supplies, making sure his equipment was as sharp as possible. He carried Ana’s body over to the basin in the far corner of his workshop and set her down. He started cutting her body up, sawing through her bones at the joints to keep from dulling his blade too much.

The blood ran down the drain and out into the underground septic system he had on the property. Unless the police came here and investigated his workshop; which wasn’t registered under his name in the first place; they would never find anything. He rolled Ana’s body parts into a biodegradable garbage bag and tied off the end. He rinsed the basin down, mixing in bleach to destroy as much of the blood residue as he could.

He picked up the bag after the basin was cleaned and carried it outside. He’d spent a good chunk of the evening digging out a suitable grave; no one from the city planning committee would approve of such things since it wasn’t six feet deep, but that was hardly top priority. He dropped the bag into the hole and set his hands over his heart.

“Dearly beloved we are gathered here today to wish Ana Amari the best of luck in Hell,” he said. “We all know that’s where she’s going for being such an infuriating, morally reprehensible woman. She’ll be free for a few short years before I go down there to make her life miserable. Cast your handful of dirt and let’s get this witch buried.”

He cast a handful of dirt into the grave and started shovelling dirt back over Ana’s remains. He should have felt guilty about burying his friend, but all he felt was elation. He was back in top form, ridding the most precious thing in his life of those that would try to harm him. There would be more people in the world that would attack his precious darling and he would make sure that they suffered for their misdeeds.

As he was putting the final shovel-full of dirt onto the hole, he heard the soft click of a camera. He almost stiffened, but managed to keep himself loose. He ran the blade of the shovel over the disturbed earth, smoothing it out. Then, he whipped around and threw the shovel as hard as he could towards the source of the disturbance.

There was a sharp cry of pain as the shovel slammed into whoever it was that was spying on him. He bolted towards the noise, growling low in his throat as he saw the middle-aged, portly man in jogging clothing stumble away from his workshop. He slipped behind the man and grabbed him by the head, wrenching him around to get him to the ground. He started beating the man’s head mercilessly against the ground, grinning widely as he watched bits of flesh and blood cling to the point of contact.

He threw the man’s head down with one final shove and got to his feet. He hoisted the man over his shoulders in a fireman’s carry, hauling him and his camera into the workshop. He dropped the bloody-faced man into the armchair and strapped him in, smirking to himself. How long had it been since he’d actually played with a man in this seat? Most of his victims were always adult women that had thought it appropriate to attempt to seduce a teenager, but a grown man that should have been able to know better than to aggravate a man like him? No, those were rare delicacies.

He lifted the man’s head with a finger and slowly turned it from one side to the other. Not bad features, he would admit. They would be sharper if he wasn’t covered in access fat. What a masterpiece he could make out of him with just a scalpel and a little bit of scraping.

He licked his lips eagerly and backed away. A real masterpiece! Something to shock and awe the world. Bacchus or Dionysus, the god of wine and parties; what better portly fellow to draw inspiration from for this man. He’d have to clean up his face a little bit, get himself some nice materials to make an ornate crown of leaves and grapes. And maybe dye the hair to match his beautiful muse, or did the man deserve to have anything resembling his precious Jack?

The man let out a low moan as he came to. Confused hazel eyes opened and the man shifted in the chair. He looked down at his bound hands, mouth opening and closing slowly before he gasped and started struggling.

“No! No, let me go!” the man sobbed. “I won’t tell anyone, I swear!”

“You’re right, you won’t,” Gabriel agreed as he walked around the man. “You can’t talk when you’re dead.”

“No! Please, I have a wife and kids at home,” the man sobbed and thrashed. “You can’t do this! They’ll be looking for me!”

“Will they?” Gabriel asked as he leaned in and rested his arms across the back of the man’s shoulders. “I don’t see a ring, but I do see a tan line for it. Tell me, does your wife know that you go out jogging at this unusual hour of the night? Or out to this remote area of the city? Or is this a convenient excuse to meet up with some lover? A woman, young and beautiful or, how scandalous, a young man?”

“No, no, it’s not! I swear!” the man sobbed. “Please!”

“Hmm, well, I’m not one to judge. That’s for someone else to decide whether or not you are dutiful to your wife,” Gabriel admitted as he drew away. “But you must admit that it is quite curious for someone your age and size to be out jogging here without the faintest sign of perspiration on his clothing. Not even salt stains. So, really, can you blame me for my assumptions?”

He turned around and leaned on his workbench. “Regardless of who you were before tonight, it won’t matter. I’m going to turn you into a god, my portly friend. Isn’t that a wonderful thing? Who doesn’t want to be a god, right? Women desire you, men fear you and love you in equal measures. Why, you have festivals held in your honour. You have amazing food and treasures sacrificed to you. People remember your name for eons even after worship of you has died out. Can you image?” Gabriel smiled.

“Please, just let me go,” the man whimpered. “Please.”

“You’re pathetic,” Gabriel rolled his eyes as he picked up a scalpel and slowly twisted it in his hand. “I offer you immortality and you cry like a newborn.”

Gabriel shook his head as he walked over and ran the blade over the man’s cheek. “A little nip and tuck, really bring out the chiseled features.”

“Please,” the man tried to pull away.

“I have a better idea,” Gabriel growled. “I’m going to sew that mouth shut so you stop blubbering.”

The man started shaking his head as Gabriel pulled away. He walked over to his workbench and grabbed his sewing equipment. He threaded the needle without a moment’s hesitation. He gave it a few quick tugs before turning around to face his masterpiece. The man started sobbing as Gabriel approached, throwing his head around until Gabriel grabbed him by the jaw. The needle punched through the corner of the man’s lips and he screamed, opening up the new addition until Gabriel flipped the needle around and tied the end off.

He smiled before he started the arduous task of sewing the mouth shut of a man that was screaming for help.

Jack sat at his desk with his hands in his hair. His desk was covered in missing persons reports and his superiors were starting to get scared. They wouldn’t say it out, but Jack knew it was there. This string of kidnappings were too similar, too carefully orchestrated. It was meticulous, so perfect that Jack couldn’t wrap his head around how it was possible that anyone could pull this off.

But it was identical to the Reaper kidnappings and murders that had plagued L.A for years. There didn’t seem to be a connection this time, though. Most of Reaper’s victims had been young women, all relatively attractive women that had some sort of shady history either with drugs, the black market, one or two were helping human traffickers, but they all fit the same profile. There had been a few exceptions and it was believed that they had stumbled across the Reaper while he was disposing of a body and had been silenced.

Now, though, Jack couldn’t find a single connection. Young, old, athletic, skinny, obese, male, female; the Reaper seemed content to take them all. And the bodies that they found, when the Reaper felt like leaving them, were all mutilated with the same surgical care, but the muse, as it were, was different. Reaper used to have a preference for recreating photos from the South; hangings, hunting photos, anything widely available so that people knew what they were looking at. Now, he seemed to be going for a holy vibe; angels and demons, gods and goddesses, and mythical creatures that were once seen as fair were turned into grotesque and macabre creations of stitched flesh and broken bone.

It was unnatural. It was perverse. It made Jack sick to his stomach. But there was nothing he could do except stare at the faces paperclipped to the front of the missing persons report and slowly label each one deceased.

Someone knocked on his door before another officer poked her head in. “Hey,” she said.

“Hey,” Jack sighed and pushed his fingers through his hair. “You stuck here too?”

“Yah,” she sighed as she stepped in and closed the door behind her. “Thought I’d come see how you were doing.”

“Poorly,” he said and waved towards a chair. “You, Satya?”

“As well as can be expected,” she sighed as she sat down. “I was here at the tail end of the Reaper’s run. This,” she gestured to the reports, “this is like living a nightmare.”

“Sorry you have to relive that,” he said.

“He got my sister,” Satya added as she crossed her arms over her chest.

“I…I’m so sorry,” he stared at her in horror.

“Don’t be; she was a bitch,” Satya rubbed at her forehead. “She…she was horrible. To me, to our mother; I can’t even say it was just a phase. She was just…mean. Right down to her bones. She’d probably kick a puppy in the face if she was annoyed with it.”

“Oh…wow,” Jack grimaced.

“And yet…she didn’t deserve what happened to her. He…strung her up like a cow being butchered and…. Oh gods, the smell. It still haunts me. And knowing what agony she must have gone through…she didn’t deserve that. No one does. The Reaper…he’s a sick man. A sick, terrible man.”

“We’ll get him,” Jack said sternly. “We’ll get the bastard this time.”

“I hope so,” Satya shook her head and tugged at the end of her braid. “I want justice for my sister. We were never close but….”

“I understand, Satya,” he smiled. “We’ll get her the justice she deserves. If you need anything, let me know, okay? I might not have much experience with serial killers, but I do know how to deal with grief.”

“Thank you, Jack,” she smiled and shook her head. “Sometimes it’s good to get stuff like that off your chest. I just…a lot of the veterans on the force, the ones that lived through that dark time, they don’t want to talk about it. Brings up bad memories. But I…I need to talk about it sometimes. I need to…to validate my emotions.”

“And I completely understand,” he soothed. “My doors always open. Don’t be afraid to stop in if you need anything.”

“Thanks,” she smiled before she stood up and leaned on the desk. “So…all these people have been found?”

Jack nodded and tapped each file. “Bacchus, Artemis, Michael, Sedna; the Reaper spared no expense in making them look like their holy counterparts. I’m…scared of what we’ll see next.”

“At least they still look human,” Satya murmured. “I…thank you, Jack. I…I should leave you to your reports.”

Jack got to his feet and walked around his desk. He gently took Satya by the shoulders and rubbed up and down her arms. She smiled at him, reaching up to brush tears away from her eyes.

“Your feelings are valid, Satya,” he soothed. “There’s no reason to be ashamed of them. I know a lot of people seem to think that telling you to ‘get over it’ is the best way, but it’s not true. There’s scars on your mind that can never fully heal. I know a lot about PTSD. If you ever need someone to talk to, and I mean it, come see me.”

Satya smiled up at him and rubbed at her tears again. “You know, I think you would have made a great dad,” she said. “Better than most.”

“Can’t have kids of my own, so I do my best to be that supportive person in other people’s lives,” Jack smiled. He pulled her slowly forward, letting her pull away if she was uncomfortable. When she was flush against his chest, he hugged her tightly, pulling her sinewy body in close and hiding her behind his arms. “You’re worth so much, Satya. I’m proud of how strong you are.”

“You’re really hoping to make me cry,” she laughed softly. “You’re a great guy, Jack. Please don’t forget that.”

“I’ll try not to,” he said as he let her pull away. “Go hide in your office if you want. I’ll…get back to this nightmare.”

He gestured at the pile of folders and she nodded in understanding. She kissed his cheek before leaving the office, humming softly to herself. He’d figured out that humming helped her relax. He hoped the kid would be alright; the Reaper had torn so many lives apart. It almost didn’t seem real. How could one person cause so much misery?

At least he had Gabriel to keep him sane. The man was working overtime to meet the demands of a populace that wanted to shower their loved ones with gifts to remind them of their love. He was having stuffed bears coming out of his workshop by the truckload and his fingers were covered in pinpricks from where he’d stabbed himself with his needles. He wasn’t as distraught over the missing persons, but he didn’t see the end result like Jack did; he just saw the watered down images that the media covered.

He knew that if Gabriel had to see what Jack did, he’d break down. Anyone would. It was nothing to be ashamed of. He just wished there was someone to talk to other than the other officers. Maybe a psychiatrist that was learned in dealing with PTSD cases.

He rubbed at his eyes before sitting back down. He had work to do.

***

“Hey, I’m home,” Jack called as he walked into his house. “Fuck, is that cookies?”

“Made them just for you,” Gabriel smiled as he lifted his head off the arm of the couch. “Hey…you get more…files?”

“Yah,” Jack sighed as he pulled his belt off and stripped in the middle of the living room. “Can I just…cuddle?”

“Yah, no problem,” Gabriel lifted his arms.

Jack snuggled against Gabriel’s chest and tucked his face into his warm neck. He breathed in his musky scent, smiling as Gabriel’s big arms wrapped around him. He ran his hands under Gabriel’s shirt, lifting the tight-fitting tee until he could snuggle flesh to flesh against his boyfriend. Gabriel kissed him slowly, running his fingers through Jack’s golden hair.

“My poor angel,” he murmured softly. “I’m sorry you’re going through this. Are you in need of anything?”

“Just you,” Jack murmured. “So long as I have you, I’ll be okay.”

“Then I’ll be here when you need me,” Gabriel soothed. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Jack smiled against Gabriel’s pulse. “You’re so warm.”

Gabriel kissed his cheek and they settled down comfortably on the couch. He’d worry about eating something later. Right now, he just wanted to feel and smell his boyfriend all around him. His strong boyfriend, his wonderful boyfriend. Where would he be without him?

#reaper76 #serial killer AU #Satya Vaswani #character death #blood #gore #torture

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serve-the-people-clt · 7 years

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OPPOSE RAPE APOLOGIA

For the past 2 months, Serve The People Charlotte has been on the receiving end of social media harassment, threatening messages, and accusations of transmisogyny (misogyny against trans women) and anti-Blackness (racism specifically against Black people/Blackness). Messages and posts to the STP-CLT Charlotte page started when a group of activists here in Charlotte saw that we were having our servings in Clanton Park. Our Facebook page was bombarded with accusatory questions and demands that we relocate from our current location. Their reasoning for demanding we move to another park is that a Black trans woman was attacked by community members in Clanton park, the same Black trans woman they are currently organizing around who has been accused of sexual contact with a 15-year-old. Harassment intensified when some Serve The People Charlotte volunteers who were previously involved decided to separate themselves from the activists supporting the accused and had questions about whether or not a she could be a rapist. The beef between Serve The People Charlotte and this group of activists is being portrayed as a conflict of personalities and a direct, petty, attack on a Black trans woman because we have our servings in the park where she was attacked in. To be honest, we did take her attack into account while choosing between Clanton or Wingate Neighborhood Park, and we had a feeling it would come to this, but we chose Clanton Park for solely logistical and political reasons. Clanton Park is larger, has covering from rain, a bigger playground, basketball courts, a community center, and a more frequent number of visitors than Wingate Neighborhood park. STP-CLT chose Clanton Park because we believe it’s more central to the community than any other park in the area. We didn’t choose our location to piss off or annoy a group of people we didn’t plan on working with anyway. Our choosing to not be involved with this group of activists is rooted in their current and active support of an accused rapist as well as the definition of rape. We firmly believe any sexual contact with a 15-year-old by someone in their mid-twenties is rape, while the group attacking us believe it is NOT rape. Statutory rape is often excused because of the belief that there is still a level of consent. We refuse to downplay the seriousness of statutory rape and the vulnerability of young teenagers in sexual situations. Adults have a responsibility to not engage in sexual activity with teens and children regardless if they feel “consent” has been given. Children cannot and will not ever be able to “consent” to sexual acts with an adult. We aren’t able to identify this group of activists by name as they are not an official organization, and we are not interested in sending out personal attacks such as they have. We are coming from a political place only. This statement was not written to out people to police, therefore, we will not identify anyone by name. This is a political statement to make where we stand clear. With this background information being given, the rest of this statement is a direct response to the allegations against us stating that Serve The People Charlotte is anti-Black and transmisogynistic. “I have this identity so any criticism of me is an attack on my identity/identities” When people in the organizing community voiced questions, confusion, and concerns about the support of someone being accused of sexual contact with a minor, they were met with “Trust Black trans women!” “You hate Black trans women!” and “This is anti-Blackness!” Trusting Black trans women, not hating Black trans women, and recognizing anti-Blackness are good ideas and direct responses to the oppression black trans women face. However, they are weaponizing this to shield from the accusation of rape and criticism of rape apologia. This group has continually said that their politics and political work are centered around the most oppressed and exploited and that defending them at all cost is liberation work. They claim they combat all forms of anti-Blackness on the spot and at every corner. This sounds great in theory but was completely misapplied in the case of the person they are shielding from criticism. The person accused of sexually assaulting a minor is a Black trans woman and the minor who was assaulted is a cis (not trans) Black boy. When age was mentioned in reservations about supporting a statutory rapist the rebuttal was an emphasis on gender using reasonings such as “He’s a cis man and she’s a Black trans woman so the power dynamic is different” all the while ignoring the fundamental difference between them: age. What we found contradictory in their reasoning was the inherent anti-Blackness of not issuing a young Black boy childhood and the painting of HIM as the predator and not the adult in the situation. How many times have we seen on the news young Black kids being described as big, scary, and adults instead of children? When has it ever been the correct idea to combat anti-Blackness against one Black person by using anti-Black narratives against another? An adult is an adult regardless of race, gender, etc. Adults should be held responsible for their actions and shouldn’t be able to pass off blame to younger people with “Well they look older, they act older, I didn’t know their age, etc.” It’s the responsibility of the adult to question how old somebody is before engaging in risky (drug use or drinking alcohol for example) or sexual activity with someone who could possibly be a minor. At what point do we consider a teenager “grown?” This is the perfect opportunity for them to paint a teenager as capable of consent because it removes all responsibility from the adult in the situation. This group’s entire political platform is centered around a person accused of sexual assault and rooted in guilting people into giving monetary support to her. Another way they use identity politics is by them guilting white people, non-Black people, cis people, and people they deem as cis passing (people they deem as not “looking” trans) into giving them money and into supporting a person accused of rape because anybody who asks questions is labeled anti-Black and trans misogynistic. This is usually followed up by call out posts on social media and being pushed out of activist spaces. They ostracize people for not being radical enough by their standards all while operating as liberals, taking on whatever politics work for their benefit in the moment. We’ve seen this by their use of the phrase “trust Black trans women” as a rallying point when they only mean the black trans women they choose. They proved this to be true when they told the community not to trust the Black trans woman who outed the accused for being a rapist, painting her as neurotic, crazy, and untrustworthy. These are all clear examples of their identity opportunism, picking and choosing where and when identity matters, as an opportunity for political gain. There’s more inconsistencies with the narrative the group accusing us of being anti-Black and transmisogynistic is pushing out. Every time this group organizes an event around the accused person they say she’s facing years in prison “for being a Black trans woman” and for being the victim of a hate crime. What her charges are and what she’s being accused of are never actually mentioned. When anybody brings this up (not just members of STP-CLT) people are accused of believing the State (cops, the court system, etc.) over a Black trans woman. The fact of the matter is, the accusation that she engaged in sexual activity with a minor didn’t just come from police. The initial accusation came from the victim and his family, leading up to her assault. We are trusting members of the community over the police and we always will. She wasn’t attacked in a completely random hate crime, she was attacked by family members AND the boy she is accused of having sexual contact with. Her attack was a direct response to her relationship with the 15-year-old boy. This, however, is almost never mentioned and the story of what happened is always changing. It would be naïve, fake, and opportunistic for us to say that her being a Black trans woman played no role in her attack. There’s a strong possibility that had she been white, cis, or a man the response would have been drastically different. However, our response shouldn’t be ignoring that she’s accused of rape just because other people can get away with it easier. In times of HB2, a bill that criminalizes trans women, painting them as “men in dresses” that want to sexually prey on children, and at a time where Black trans women are being murdered at high rates, we understand the need for Black trans women to be seen as human, worthy of respect and life. But giving someone, humanity means being able to see them as a whole person, not a romanticized version we’ve created in response to a demonized one. For example, Black and brown men are portrayed in the media as violent and nobody can forget Trumps comments about Mexican being rapists. Fighting this with ‘Black and Brown men can’t be rapists!” misses the point. It ignores the sexual violence so many people in our communities’ deal with by others from the same community. Sexual assault victims in marginalized communities have been silenced because the person who assaulted them faces oppression too. They’re told it will “make us all look bad” or play into stereotypes. (See Bill Cosby, R. Kelly, and Chris Brown for example.) Serve The People Charlotte is refusing to prioritize image over people’s safety. People aren’t rapists because of what communities they come from. There’s rapists in all communities, it’s our job to isolate and out them to keep people safe. Our accusations of anti-Blackness and transmisogyny don’t come from us being anti-Black and transmisogynistic, they come from us not supporting someone accused of rape. At least 15 trans woman have been killed in 2017, an overwhelmingly majority being Black (one being a Black trans woman killed here in charlotte, Sherell Faulkner May 16th.) Most trans women aren’t killed by police, but by members of our own communities. That’s why it’s so important we unite our communities to protect each other and hold each other accountable. Transphobic and anti-Black ideas are present throughout all communities and that’s why we won’t ignore how her being a Black trans woman has affected her attack. The group accusing us says they think Serve The People Charlotte wants to see a Black trans woman in prison. We want the accused person to be held accountable for their actions, and that’s something this group is not doing, with or without a jail involved. Most rapists never see jail time, it’s obvious that we can’t rely on the police or the court system to deliver justice. But what does community/people’s justice look like? What does protecting our community without state power look like? If we’re not going to send rapists to prison then we must at least remove them from our communities and divest ourselves from their support systems. Serve The People Charlotte is doing this by not supporting or attending events organized around her and by keeping her out of our spaces. The only way we would unite with the group of activists making these accusations would be is if they were to join in isolating the accused person they are supporting from any communities they are involved in. Rapists and people who have a history of perpetuating sexual violence and their supporters must be isolated from political organizing communities because they are not spaces to find new people to abuse. The masses must be protected from rapists because rape is an anti-people crime.

#Serve the People #Charlotte

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lifeandlemonsandme-blog · 7 years

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How GIRLS Taught Me to Love My Body

When I was fourteen I developed an eating disorder, it was so silent that I had no idea what was truly happening. It began with small hints of unnatural thoughts about fat thighs and chubby arms, leading to late nights of crying on the bedroom floor, holding my tummy in pure hatred. I’d scream in my mind, “Why do you have to be so FAT!?” I began eating less and less until I was only eating once a day. When I did manage to consume some sort of solid food, it was straight to the bathroom. Laxatives became my ultimate best friend and my index finger a close lover. They were my serenity a safe security blanket that I wrapped around me whenever the world turned icy cold. As this self-destructive routine unfolded my body was desperately trying to combat the side effects. I did everything I could to stop the symptoms, mostly to keep everyone in the dark including myself.

For years, I struggled with my body shaming. I projected stress, misery, depression, and hatred onto my body. It was a dumping ground for everything wrong inside my mind and life. “Maybe you would be happy if you weren’t so fat”, “maybe life would be easier if your thighs wouldn’t rub together”. I spoke to myself in such a language that I mentally broke myself down. Everything that people said to me about my body, I had already said to myself ten times over and much worse. I don’t want to get into all the specifics of my eating disorder and the recovery process. It was a number of factors that lead to such an extreme measure, not just a singular moment. It was a number of factors that lead me to seek treatment, however, there was one shining statue of liberty that guided me through the exhausting recovery road.

GIRLS is a TV show that can dance the fine line of absolute glory and dismay. Either viewers fall in love with the series or hate it some much they throw their TV out every time someone mentions the name. My personally opinion on the show is slightly bias, so, I won’t get into the politics. The center of this piece is to illustrate how GIRLS taught me to love my body. Whilst watching the first season on a perpetual loop, something in my psyche shifted. A question, long lost inside my uprooted brain. Are bodies beautiful even with all their flaws? For me, the aspect of bodies had always been black and white, fat and thin. There was no in between, no room for any of these so called flaws. The way Hannah [Lena Dunham] freely expressed her sexuality and her body, so confidently, not in spite of but because she truly felt free. Left an impression deep within me that allowed for the seed of growth to be planted. She once said to Marnie that [everything mean she had to say, she (Hannah) has already said it to herself.] Boom! I knew in that moment I was divinely being intervened to watch these twenty-something-year old’s lives as they intertwined with mine. Each girl wore her skin as if it was brand new, ready to step into anything whether they were truly ready or not. Fake it till you make it should be the motto because although it seems counter intuitive, in the end, you find that you have learned a lot just by faking it.

Over the years, as the seasons progressed I became fully aware of the character’s bodies. There was such a range of shapes, sizes, cellulite, tight, and flowy parts. I’ve never seen such a diverse group of women bodies in all my life. Not one was praised more than the other, not one was valued more, and not one was shown more than the others. It seemed like an equal partnership among the sea of bodies, it was so beautiful it still brings tears to my eyes. The show has its flaws no doubt, however, one aspect that is pure perfection is the embrace of imperfections. In fact, that is what is celebrated the most on the show. Imperfections in life, mind, and body. For someone like me it means opening up to a world of acceptance and self- love. I don’t like to say that GIRLS is my only source of body positive and recovery… that would be foolish. It literally took a team and then some to help me make a full recovery and even then I still struggle with the aftermath. However, GIRLS opened a door to all new possibilities. Whether it was learning about my sexuality or learning to love myself, GIRLS was there for me every step of the way. It even sometimes felt that my life was parallel to those of the characters, especially Hannah. Now with only two episodes left in the entire series. I look back at where I was when the series first started and can’t help but feel pride. Pride that I made it through those dark corners and empty corridors but most importantly, I have pride that I did not let myself fall victim to the deathly illness that is self-hate.

GIRLS in Numbers:

All bodies are not created equal but they are still beautiful and uniquely made.

We need to support each other in realizing that all bodies are beautiful.

Loving yourself is the purest love you will ever find. It is necessary before loving others.

Being naked= freedom

Sex should be enjoyable regardless of your body type. Own it!

Scars, bruises, nips, tucks, and all of the above are beautiful.

Embrace all that you are.

Learn when change is needed but stick to your guns when necessary.

Confidence is the perfect makeup.

Finally, love others as they are but never let them treat you like a doormat. You are not a doormat.

Visit iamthefoxes.com for more post like this!

#self love #self healing #eating disoder recovery #mental health #lifestyle #personal essay #jounral #creative writing

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markxforother · 7 years

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20 YEARS OF BUFFY, 10 FEMINIST LESSONS

Buffy The Vampire Slayer turns 20 years of age and as a massive fan who has been watching it since I was 10 years old, here are my top ten feminist lessons and moments from the show.

1. Self Reliance and the Strength Within.

One thing that Buffy as a show tackled well was the importance and downfall of being a self-reliant, independent woman in today’s world. What aided her in her defeat of her abusive vamp ex was also what isolated her from her friends and family. Buffy showed that whilst as a woman it is important to have friends and family but it is vital to draw from the strength within whilst also not being afraid to ask for help.

Angelus: Now that's everything, huh? No weapons... No friends...No hope. Take all that away... and what's left? Buffy: Me.

2. Joyce - single mother extraordinaire

Joyce Summer’s was the single mother to Buffy and also Dawn (it’s a whole thing)

She was kind, caring and to a point, pretty understanding. She freaked out about Buffy losing her virginity and being a vampire slayer but throughout it all she was always there for her daughter. She squared off power hungry principals, vampires and even a killer slayer, she defended her child and she did it alone. She vowed to protect and love Dawn especially after finding out she wasn’t really her biological daughter and taught Buffy compassion and responsibility in a way she had never faced, despite saving the world numerous times.

Her death contributed to one of the most heartbreaking tv episodes ever seen (and there’s a lot!) it was real, raw and not like anything television at that time had seen. It was a testament to her character and what she meant to Buffy, her friends and also to the show and its fans.

Joyce: You get the hell away from my daughter!

3. Women and Sexuality

Buffy the Vampire Slayer pushed boundaries in many ways but one of the most important boundaries was that of the first lesbian sex scene on network television in America. Whilst some aren’t fans of using magic as a subtext of their relationship, Tara and Willow’s relationship grew in one of the most well rounded, healthy and honest relationships on the entire show. Willow’s gradual exploration and realisation of her sexuality is also important. Everyone regardless of how they define their sexuality comes to realise it and navigate it in different ways.

The show also tackled straight female sexuality, from Buffy’s loss of virginity to who she thought was the right guy but turned nasty, to Kendra’s shy engagement with boys to Faith’s open and care free attitude, there was always a strong message that sex and sexuality was important and different for each female character in the show and can mean different things at different times in your life. The main message for young women is, as long as your choices are healthy and make you happy, who really cares?!

Willow: ...and I think I’m kinda gay?

4. What it feels like to be just a girl.

Buffy isn’t a natural superhero, from the film and the flashbacks she was a cheerleading prom loving girl who was Chosen and had her destiny forced upon her.

From the episode Prophecy Girl where Buffy finds out she’s going to die, to explaining what being a slayer is to her mother and lamenting on wanting to just paint her nails, Buffy struggles with what it means to have so much responsibility, face all the darkness in the world whilst just wanting to be a normal girl.

Whether its discrimination in the workplace, our right to abortions, sexual assault, maternity rights and all the problems women face, it can feel like the weight of the world is on our shoulders and that we are fighting daily battles and making sacrifices just to get by.

But we’re all just girls, we all have dreams, hopes and aspirations. We all have silly things we do to make ourselves feel better and we all want to be loved and respected.

We all want equality for everyone and right now, to do that, we’ve got to keep slaying.

Kid: But you're... you're just a girl. Buffy: ....That's what I keep saying.

5. Male allies

The men in Buffy are definitely second fiddle but are vital. I’m going to start by admitting that re-watching the first couple of season of Buffy, Xander is a bit dick! Right got that out of my system, but just like the women in the show he grew and learnt and became the heart of the group. From his unwavering support of Buffy, his iconic pep talk with Dawn which makes me cry every time, to saving the world by reminding Willow of her humanity. Xander became the best friend you wish you had.

Giles became Buffy’s father figure quite early on in the series and accepted her for all her faults and never judged her for it. He jeopardised his job by standing up to the patriarchal system that made him her Watcher and pretty much tortured her, he was willing to die and kill for her and took all of her friends under his wing as well.

It’s important to remind ourselves that Feminism is about equality so if you’re lucky enough to have male allies around you, appreciate their value and support.Yes, they are doing as they should but whilst they may benefit from it more that us, they are also victims of the Patriachy as well. If they’re fighting to good fight and not intimated by your strength, I say hats off to you sirs!

Buffy: But this is all my fault.

Rupert Giles: No. I don't believe it is. Do you want me to wag my finger at you and tell you that you acted rashly? You did. And I can. I know that you loved him. And he has proven more than once that he loved you. You couldn't have known what would happen. The coming months are gonna be hard. I suspect on all of us, but if it's guilt you're looking for, Buffy, I'm not your man.

All you will get from me is my support. And my respect.

7. The Slayer, The Mother, The Geek, The Prom Queen, The Killer, The Demon, The Witch, The Key

Labels are placed on women all the time and can feel suffocated by the expectations around that, where its mother, career women, whore, virgin, girly or tomboy, society rarely allows to be all these things or none. We have to fall into one group or another and if we try and mix them around we get called up on being contrary or worse - attempting to ‘have it all.’

You can label each one of the main women that make up the Buffyverse but each one defies its stereotype growing into complex and realised people, just like everyday women.

Buffy was a peppy pretty girl with a secret and evolved to a maternal yet isolated warrior who had grown tired of the weight of being a Slayer, to finally embracing her role as a leader a teacher. Willow was a geek and also an all powerful witch, Faith was a killer but was also vulnerable, Anya was a demon who also was a doting girlfriend.

Their stereotypes are fantasy extremes but each character was one thing at the start and something different by the end, they are real, three-dimensional women growing, learning, falling and rising up again.

Buffy: I'm cookie dough. I'm not done baking. I'm not finished becoming who ever the hell it is I'm gonna turn out to be. I make it through this, and the next thing, and the next thing, and maybe one day, I turn around and realize I'm ready. I'm cookies.

8. Misogyny can kill even the strongest of women

In one of the weaker seasons of Buffy, season 6 did however thrive in tackling the subject of misogyny. After Buffy comes back from the dead, she is left feeling lost, alone and seeking sexual solace in Spike, a vampire. When she realises that their relationship isn’t healthy and that she’s been sleeping with him for all the wrong reasons, he doesn’t take it well. He in fact, tries to rape her. This is something that women all over the world face and this theme is furthered by her human nemesis Warren who is particularly sexist and when she asserts her physical strength over him/‘emasculating’ him, he responds by coming into her home, shooting her and killing Tara in the process.

Violence and sexual assault against women is a very real problem in society and no matter how much we tell girls to dress a certain way, to not ‘tease men’ and to ‘cater to their ego’ even the Slayer herself can be victim to a system that perpetuates an idea that women are at fault and men are left blameless. We need to stop this because also we don’t have Willow to turn evil and become a vengeful super witch.

Willow: You never felt you had the power with her, not until you killed her.

Warren: Women. You know, you're just like the rest of them. Mind games.

9. Diversity and Intersectionality are key

One of the downfalls of Buffy is its lack of diversity. Show runners have admitted it and done their best to learn from it with future shows paving the way for awesome characters like Zoe Washburne from Firefly and Melinda May from Agents of Shield who are both similar in characteristics to Buffy but also women of colour.

But one way that the show tackled their shortcomings of diversity with previous characters was when we met The First Slayer.

The First Slayer was an African woman kidnap and imbued her with demonic powers by 3 men who became The Watcher’s Council.

Now she’s far from perfect and how the whole concept and how its portrayed is problematic as hell, one might even go as far to say that its pretty racist.

But they could have easily made The First Slayer white, they could’ve made her ethnically ambiguous etc but by making her black they not only recognized the importance of race and Africa in The Slayer’s origins story but also the in human race itself.

Here presence itself lead to the origins of other Slayers and Potential Slayers to be slightly more diverse and we see it full effect in the seventh and final season of Buffy The Vampire Slayer from dodging accents, varying sexualities, ethnicities, sub-cultures and general characteristics. The Potentials may also be terrible stereotypes but to some people (me in this case) when it comes to early forms of representing intersectional feminism, I’ll take what I can get.

Either way, Buffy as a character and the‘Wheddonverse’ in general are indebted to the First Slayer.

First Slayer via Tara: You think you know what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

10. The Sisterhood

One thing I’ve always loved about Buffy the Vampire Slayer was the sisterhood. They may not all love each other and be best friends but when it came down to it, they had each others back. From Cordelia stepping up to fight the demons and even offering a vulnerable Buffy a ride home to Willow saving Anya’s life even when she had reverted to being a demon to even Faith proudly being by Buffy’s side in the final fight. Buffy’s friendships and female allies taught us that its important to have different types of women from different backgrounds and opinions and that each add value to your life. Female friendships can be challenging and complex in a world when were are constantly pitted against each other but more than ever its important to celebrate and covet what unites us.

In the final episode Buffy decides to give up her title by having Willow make every potential slayer an actual Slayer, it’s final message of the show was using that sisterhood to pass on the power and strength to a new generation may it be potential slayers or our daughters and students because whilst we may have made progress, we still having many demons to fight.

Buffy: From now on, every girl in the world who might be a Slayer, will be a Slayer. Every girl who could have the power, will have the power. Can stand up, will stand up. Slayers, every one of us. Make your choice. Are you ready to be strong?

#buffy the vampire slayer #buffyslays20 #buffy summers #feminism #importantlessonsinfeminism

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youcanrantifyouwantto · 7 years

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To those who get it and those who don’t:

To those who don’t get it:

We are obviously all entitled to think what we want to. It’s truly the beauty of America. You may not have thought this women’s march was important, and that’s okay for your life. It wasn’t okay for mine. I needed this march. I needed it to show so many women that they are not alone. i needed it to show them that they have fighters and protectors right alongside them. I needed it, and it worked for me.

Please don’t tell me it wasn’t important, because trust me, it was. You probably weren’t there, so you don’t know how great the experience was. You had your experience, and I had mine. Mine was good for me, and yours was what you wanted. I got to see my wonderful, beautiful friends and family feel like they weren’t lost anymore. I got to see women of color, women with disabilities, trans women, women from other countries, and even men of the same get together because we all wanted to support each other. So don’t say this wasn’t important. The love is real.

I keep seeing you bring up women’s rights in other countries, like we don’t understand our privileges in America. We do understand them, but we’re also being threatened by our government. We’re being shown that being gay, being a woman, being non-white, or being transgender could all become more difficult, when it’s not exactly easy to begin with. We’re being shown that sexual assault doesn’t matter if you’re powerful. We’re being shown that being Muslim or black is going to label you a threat. We’re being shown that women are going to lose the ability to choose what we can and cannot do with our bodies. We’re being shown that healthcare is only for the wealthy and healthy. We’re being shown that the LGBTQ community won’t get the same respect as the cis-gendered or straight people. We’re being shown that even if you’re working hard and been here your whole life, if you aren’t born here, you’ll be sent away. For some people this could cost their lives. A bully is in power, and it is only going to inspire more bullies, some who will use violence. So maybe you’re safe, and these other countries have it worse, but for some people in America, it’s going to be worse.

You also say Trump hasn’t taken away anyone’s rights yet, so protesting is stupid. The march was of a preventative nature. Everyone has heard what the new administration would like to do with healthcare, and how they have addressed women and minorities. We protested on his first day in office to show him that there will be a huge resistance to the laws and policies we feel are wrong for this country. We don’t want what he wants, and we intend to show him and his cabinet and his congress that we won’t take it lightly. We will be here. We are here. We were here.

To the anti-abortion group, you can be anti-abortion and also pro-choice. Maybe you can really say there is no circumstance that you’d ever get an abortion, and for you, that’s fine. However, a woman should have the right to choose what goes on in her own body. Be anti-abortion by fighting for better healthcare. Be anti-abortion by fighting for better ACCESS to healthcare for poor women. Be anti-abortion by fighting for better sex education so everyone understands how to properly prevent unwanted pregnancies. Be anti-abortion by supporting better birth control access and research. Be anti-abortion by preventing rape by advocating for true consequences no matter the status and teaching your sons (and daughters) not to rape. All of these things will make unwanted pregnancies and abortions decrease. Most of all, don’t tell a woman who is not yourself that her choice for her life is wrong. She is not you. Maybe her health or body can’t carry a baby. Maybe she was raped and cannot mentally or physically have the child. Maybe having a child results in her death. But most of all, maybe it’s none of your business because what goes on in her body is hers.

You also like to say you’re not a victim so you didn’t need a march. We had to march to show the people who want to hold us down and make us victims that, in fact, this is not the case. We are strong. We rise. They are trying to portray us as whiny and helpless, but we just empowered ourselves by coming together. We are not victims. Nothing about what we did, said, or showed was out of weakness or fear. We created our own strength when we were made to feel like we mattered less. We don’t matter less, and we just wanted to show them that. So we marched.

For you, maybe there was no reason to march. Maybe you’ve never needed healthcare to an extreme extent. Maybe you haven’t watched your own people unjustifiably die at the hands of people you’re taught to trust. Maybe your parents were able to teach you that anything in possible. Be glad they taught you that. For some people, life isn’t always about being anything they want because they just need to make it to tomorrow. Sometimes people aren’t told they can be anything. Sometimes people are portrayed as the bad guys in life when really they’re just scapegoats for an underlying problem in a country who forgets the working class. Sometimes people are brought up in environments that aren’t supportive. Sometimes people have to start working when they’re 14 (or even younger) because food isn’t available regularly, and then their education suffers because they’re just trying to survive. Sometimes people don’t have access to hospitals or healthcare or mental institutions that actually diagnose what others are just calling crazy. Sometimes people come to another country because they need new opportunities to live a better life, but the true process of being accepted and becoming a citizen is expensive and difficult. Sometimes people grow up being told it is unacceptable to be who they are. Be very grateful and very happy that you lived a life where education and care were provided. Not everyone in America lives that way. We march for them.

We could all use some empathy in life. So maybe this isn’t about you. Maybe it’s about the DACA students who have their education threatened or the LGBTQ community who feels like their own government hates them. It’s about our Muslim sisters who are too often not included in the feminist mold. It’s about my sisters of color who still have to tell you their lives matter. You’ve probably never experienced what it’s like to be them, but what you should do is listen to them. Listen to their experiences and what they want in life. Your experience is your own, and there are millions of other people in the world with stories to tell. Just listen.

One day I hope you realize this women’s march was for you as well, regardless of if you were there or not.

To those who get it:

I’ll keep this part short. You understand why I marched. Most likely you were marching, too. At the very least, you were there in spirit or voicing your support as you watched the marchers across the world. To you, I want to say thank you. I want you to never give up.

Don’t ever let anyone tell you this wasn’t important. We came together in true solidarity. While the march wasn’t perfect, and maybe we had some of our own issues, guilt, and judgments we need to work on, we still came together to show our government that we will not stand for the policies that infringe on our rights. Don’t let someone tell you we didn’t do anything. This was important to me. It was important to you. It was important to nearly four million people in the United States. No one can tell you it didn’t matter.

I don’t know about you, but the MILLIONS of people getting involved (not to mention the rest of the world telling us they are with us) made me feel stronger than I have felt in quite some time, especially since November 8th. The election had me defeated and losing hope. I went to anti-Trump rallies. I’ve called and emailed my senators. I signed petitions, but nothing made me feel as powerful as marching alongside (figuratively and literally) all of you. You give me strength and hope. There are more of us than there are of them, and we will resist.

I am a straight, white, cis-gendered woman. I know that this presidency and the policies that are threatening our country are not going to affect me very much. I could lose my free women’s exams and my free birth control, which are not good things, but I will probably not fear for my safety. I will not fear for my life and whether or not I can step outside without judgment or hate. People won’t look at me differently. They won’t openly hate me just because they see my face or my skin. I don’t wear a hijab, so no one will scream hurtful and ignorant words into my face. I can hold my boyfriend’s hand in public and not even think twice about it. I don’t have to painfully deal with the fact that my president has bragged about sexual assault because I’m not a survivor. All I have is that I am a woman with a little meat on her bones who has been told many sexist things in her life about the way she looks and the way she thinks. I didn’t march for myself. I marched for you.

I want you to know that if you are forced to register under this administration, I will register with you. If you aren’t allowed to love who you want to love, I will fight with you. If you are shown and told that you don’t matter, I will tell them that you do. If you are being blamed for being a survivor, I will refocus the blame to the real problem. If you are being told this isn’t your country, I will open my heart and my arms to welcome you.

You inspired me deeply. You made me strong. I thank you from the bottom of my heart and everything that I am.

#women's march #sister march #feminist #women

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christineamccalla · 5 years

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Congratulations to the United States of America upon accomplishing its dreams of, an eroded socio-economic and political systems of totalitarian regimes; subsistence in continuous uncertainties; and eternal impoverishment from recklessness and lack of judgement, by McCalla, Chrisitne Ann, MBA, MS, CBME, CAHR, CBDE, CTW, CPA

Congratulations to the United States of America upon accomplishing its dream of an eroded socio-economic and political systems of totalitarian regimes; subsistence in continuous uncertainties; and eternal impoverishment from recklessness and lack of judgment including.

The planned and intentioned sequencing of violation of laws, statutes, legislations, legislatures, legislatives, regulations, regulatives, regulatures, and treaties, including International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights; International Covenant on Torture, Cruelty; and Inhumane Treatment; Education; Internal revenue Code; Charter on the Fundamental Human Rights of the European Union; Maastrict; deprivation and depravity; and, Judicial Administration;

Garouea-10, a sexually transmitted, infectious, and venereal disease originating from cross-species contamination including the sexual contact of bovine and equine natures, while committing interstellar robberies of de minimis proportions (a wooden ruler used as back scratcher for a corrosive victim) to create and announce blame for the disease;

The creation of fraudulent political systems ignoring the judicial, judiciary, and legislative systems resulting in disregard for the laws, statutes, et a,l voting and elections; census; national statistically rating agencies; Chimera; AENESOL; et al, in which criminal street gangs; gangerie populations; prostitutes; prostitution; prostituts; prostitutis; illiterates; ignorancies; and ludites, are governors, presidencies; and Congress refusing and denying basic human rights such as justice, clothing, food, shelter, and, other necessities;

The despair of education in which international gangs are invited and facilitated by War and National Defense; Armed Forces; Navigation and Navigable Waters; Mandamus; Parens Patriae; Judicial Administration; Espionage; and Treasuries in the defrauding the educated of income generating opportunities including the collection of payments made by international sources through brothel harbinging bankers, demanding said clientele must walk naked before them; and judicial, judiciary, and legislative offices demanding death of said denizenry to avoid process service of obligations;

Aversion and avoidance of good faith; obligation on good faith; duty of care; duty of loyalty; and fiduciary duty in which demonstrated potential denizenries are set on fire by corrosions, corrosive, and biohazard elements in a holocaust designed to exert dominance and censorships;

The parading of multiple judicially licensed individuals as sold human trafficked victim; sex slave; pornographic object; and homeless crud, with the jeers and taunts, see how you get anything from me; you must suck my cock to get anything from; sex trading required; open your pussy in radioactive waste and toxins and put tampons in it while we watch; she is changing tampons, come we look into her pussy;

The use of body trafficking and weapons trafficking as a socio-economic and political destabilization tool resulting in the throes of despair such as Zimbabwe; Eritrea; and Babylonia, et al. Only the most violent and cannibalistic dynamic survive;

The United States of America’s denizenry as a going concern where its contracted government official continuously insist, I took bribes, I can’t perform judicial, judiciary, and legislative services; I don’t want to her the name of that person to carry out the latest holocaust including women without childbearing are given complete hysterectomy as a life saving measure while all the while creating buzz over illegitimizing abortions; illegal immigrants are invited to set bombs and evict the sexual and reproduct organs of the entire denizenry; the use of illegal immigrants bearing bombs in the application of Aerospace and Commercial Space programs to eject their organs, regardless of participation in corruption. This also includes destruction of their properties;

An education is useless in the face of sexual trafficking and sex slavery;

Money launderers and illicit money lenders create opportunities including government assistance and benefits including shelters; food stamps; and other public health and welfare resources

The trading and trafficking of employment; incomes; opportunities; and upward mobility for violent and felonious crimes

International collusion by humanitarian and peacekeeping entities such as United Nations, and, Geneva Conventions and their numerous corporations including international contaminations; mass rape; mass criminal street gangs incitements; deminimis investments; mass murder; murder en masse; prostitution and trafficking of education; rationing of incomes and opportunities through sex trafficking by way of organized crime; trivializing six-figure income educations; use of war criminals to staff presidencies and congresses; sale and closure of government organizations and employees, flag, seat, and seal of the states, and the sale of credentials including the US Constitution’s ratified contract for deminimis amounts including $1,869

Facilitation of international law enforcement abandonment of society such as The Hague’s infrastructure used in human trafficking and illegal immigration en masse as a reward for abandoning the judicial, judiciary, and legislative systems internationally, particularly the United States of America, where its socio-economic and political systems’ governors are the illiterate; the ignorate; underpriviledged; holocaustal architects; and depraved, lacking in compassion and literacy of justice;

Withholding of government fundings, resources and accessibilities such as educational assistance and loans; censorships including social media, print media, media control, including nuclear and seismic threats; threat of state sanitization; and holocaustal threats of fabrication of invasions and sieges in the media; Google Drive; rationing the copyright and patent laws and statutes, et al, due to illicit trading and corruption practices such as the sale of intellectual property and the gradual deleting of the files from the creators accounts without consent or knowledge; and, rewriting and renaming of laws commonly used within the society

Rationing access to Internal Revenues; Commerce, Trade, and Industry; and Internal Revenue Code through the illicit and corrupt practice of modifying intellectual property and reselling them due to vested interests in the thefts;

The use of violent criminals including holocausts to create race riots for no reasons, including the sexual deprivation of women in which she is told, you must wash your pussy; when is the last time you were in some water; you smell to me; every time you put a tampon in you, I begin to itch; every time you itch I have things all over me;

Rationing of public health and welfare attributes and appliances including visual corrective devices including glasses such as bifocals;

The use of disease trafficking and debt pressing as an alternative to education; opportunities; and, incomes;

The need for African American and the black community to be slaves practicing full-scaled self-segregation and apartheidism, while chasing the notorious crime lords, the white dongs. This is liasoning of men of Icelandic descent with massive penises, whether as pimps; felon emergency assistance support; or, other support;

The only society where a black woman’s vagina must always be presented in a pornographic and open design and methodology to the general public and without the public’s consent;

Planned and trafficked illegal immigration and homelessness to become beggars and pleaders for international aid assistance, while navigating mass debts for a fantasy nature;

The use of prostitution as means of certain impoverishments and lack of potential;

The United States of America’s Constitution? Abandoned in its entirety beginning with the preamble,

We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

With the unrest created, Article IV [The States] (see explanation) and listed below are nullified and abandoned,

Section 1. [Full Faith and Credit] (see explanation)

Section 2. [Privileges and Immunities, Extradiction, Fugitive Slaves] (see explanation)

Section 3. [Admission of States] (see explanation)

Section 4. [Guarantees to States] (see explanation)

Once upon a time,... meant a future; credibility; decency; and, respectability. Now it means depriving a homeless woman beyond the verge of death. Cancer, 1st degree burns, Veterans’ status is useless, writ of warrant of, or summons for, irrelevant. As so frequently told, we can still kill you and we want you to know… Judicial Administration including payments of spousal support and family assistance for housing results in, I am waiting for a salary increase; I need a better job; I don’t feel like it; and, I don’t fucking like her and that is all there is to it. Department of Health and Human Services and Housing and Urban Developments are human trafficking organizations, citing, I did not make you so ignoring the lawsuits for murders and burglaries in years earlier and still continuing. Department of Labor - what is ignored licensure and fraudulent claim of prostitution dreaming and creation? Banks refusing to grant services in receiving wire transfers, and renters refusing to accept tenancies based on government assistance money such as student loan stipends being an illicit trade at the gangerie’s insistence. Psychiatry? It does not become me.

Crime ring or not, aliens and nationality; diplomatic and consular protection; and equal protection by the state are just that. With Miranda Rules being what it is, there is no violating the presumed innocent until proven guilty clauses of the Charter on the Fundamental Human Rights of the European Union.

Life is what we make of it!!! Professionalism, competence, discipline, and accolades, are the name of my game. I shall apply all laws, statutes, legislation, legislatives, legislatures, regulation, regulatives, regulatures, and treaties regarding dissemination of information to ensure this remains so.

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cardiffuniversitydvas · 6 years

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Emotional abuse: The warning signs

By Lauren Williams.

In my experience, nothing can be more damaging to a person’s self-esteem and wellbeing than being trapped in an emotionally abusive relationship of any kind. Generally, people have no trouble identifying physical abuse as it’s pretty black and white; it tends to kick off in dramatic outbursts and they physically hurt you. Most people would take it very seriously if somebody disclosed that they were experiencing physical violence, however this is not always the case for emotional abuse. This is because it’s not black and white at all. It’s subtle, difficult to spot and often overlooked because people simply are not aware of what emotional abuse is, even though it is equally as unacceptable and often more damaging.

How can it possibly be more damaging? Because it creeps up on you. Often, the victim doesn’t realise it is happening until things escalate and it is extremely difficult to find a way out. Victims may be led to believe that abusive behaviours are ‘normal’ or even ‘loving.’ It slowly disintegrates the victim's sense of self value, self-esteem, trust in themselves and in others. It can undermine the way we think about ourselves and can make us question our own sanity. It leaves psychological scars and emotional pain that can take a long time to heal and the victim is left to deal with this pain even after they have left the relationship. It’s painfully isolating and no-one deserves to experience this, but the reality is it’s extremely common.

You may be reading and thinking ‘this would never apply to me or anyone I know’ but in fact, domestic abuse affects 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men in the UK which is a lot of people. Abusers do not discriminate and it is possible for anybody, regardless of gender, age, background to find themselves caught up in this, and for that reason it is an issue we all need to be aware of. Abuse doesn’t just occur in romantic relationships, but it can also be present in relationships with friends, family, colleagues and bosses. I genuinely believe that one of the first steps towards creating safer and healthier relationships is awareness and education around this issue, hence I am writing this in order to highlight the classic warning signs of an abusive relationship, as these behaviours should not be tolerated. I’m not an expert by any means but I know enough from personal and professional experience working as an Independent Domestic Abuse Advisor (IDVA) for my placement year, which was very fulfilling and from which I learned a lot. It is a subject I feel very strongly about which is why I have joined Cardiff University’s Domestic Violence Awareness Society and why I am writing this, to start a conversation about this very serious issue. Reading this will take just 10 minutes of your time, and you might learn something useful.

So, first of all what is emotional abuse? Emotional abuse is characterised by a person subjecting another person to behaviour that may result in psychological trauma, including anxiety, chronic depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder. This can include verbal abuse, threatening, bullying, shaming, manipulating and controlling your partner. Not sure what constitutes this exactly? Here are some examples:

1. They put you down and belittle you – Abusive people will constantly put you down with hurtful comments because the more insecure you are, the easier you are to manipulate and control. These comments could be about anything; your appearance, intelligence, career, values but they’ll always find something to belittle. They will brush off your achievements and may even make you feel guilty about them. Got a promotion at work? They won’t celebrate with you but they may say ‘Well I guess you’ll be too busy with work to have time for me then’ or ‘Oh is that it?’ because they don’t want to see you succeed. If you ask them to stop saying those things because it hurts your feelings, they will claim that you’re being ‘too sensitive’ or it was ‘just a joke’.

2. Arguments are about inflicting pain and winning, not solving problems – Everyone has arguments right, but how you handle yourself in an argument speaks volumes about you as a person. Instead of sitting down calmly and hashing it out like adults, abusive people will be focussed on hurting you and winning the fight. Even if you go to them in a completely civil and rational way, like ‘Hey can I talk to you about something that’s upsetting me?’ they will still perceive it as an attack and will always meet you with aggression. They will try to ‘one up’ you and say things that are below the belt for maximum impact to make you as jealous or as angry as they currently feel, because that is the only way they know how to deal with the situation. They will viciously tear you down because once you’re feeling hurt and insecure yourself, you are less of a threat to them.

3. You are always the problem – They will never, ever admit when they are wrong therefore everything must be your fault. Any relationship issues you may be having are down to you and what you’re doing wrong, because they are the perfect partner. Their behaviour is not abusive at all, it’s just ‘protective’ or an expression of their ‘love’ which you are clearly not grateful for. They will tell you they are the ‘best thing that has ever happened to you’ and that you’re ‘so lucky to have them because no one else would ever want you’. This is a hallmark of an abusive person, as most people are happy to admit and apologise for their mistakes but abusers have such fragile self-esteem they try to portray themselves as a superior, perfect people. Instead of acknowledging that they actually did something wrong, they will convince you that everything is your fault and when someone close to you tells you this constantly, then you will likely start to believe them and feel terrible about yourself, even though it’s not true. Remember these people are master manipulators and can get in your head.

4. They try to control you and do not allow you to have privacy – They want to know where you are at all times, who you’re with and whether there is anyone there who could be deemed threatening. They will tell you what to wear, what to eat and drink, what you can post on social media and who you are allowed to talk to. They may tell you to delete people they don’t like off social media and if you refuse to do so, they will do it without your permission anyway. If they cannot physically stop you doing something, then they will make it as psychologically unpleasant as possible for you if you ‘disobey’ them and eventually you will start to comply for the sake of an easy life. They know your social media and phone passwords but you’re not allowed theirs, which is fine because secure people should not need to go through their partner’s phone when they are not aware. If you say you don’t want them to do this because it’s an invasion of privacy, they say ‘What are you hiding from me then?’ You are 100% entitled to your privacy and a healthy partner would respect that, but abusive people will not.

5. They try to isolate you – An abuser doesn’t want you to have a social support network because then you’re more likely to leave them. The more alone you are, the more stuck you are. For example, if you want to go out with your friends they will make you feel so guilty or upset beforehand, that you will end up not wanting to go, or constantly bombard you with messages when you are out of the house to ruin your night. Eventually you may stop socialising altogether to avoid the consequences.

6. They convince you that you’re insane- This is called ‘gas lighting’ which is a subtle form of manipulation that aims to make you question your own memory, perception, and sanity just enough to sow the seeds of doubt. They deny things you know definitely happened but will go to ridiculous lengths to try and convince you they didn’t happen, making you question yourself. For example, perhaps you suspect infidelity but when you ask them about it and they completely deny knowing the person in question, even if you can recall several times they have met. Another example could be deleting texts or pictures from your phone but denying they touched it, but you know something is missing but you just can’t prove it.

7. They make wild accusations – Guilty people accuse. Many abusers constantly accuse their partner of cheating when there is no evidence of any infidelity. Often, victims have very little contact with anybody without their partner being present anyway so despite not having the opportunity to be unfaithful, they will still be accused. Something as normal as wanting to exercise can be turned into ‘Who are you seeing at the gym?’ It’s relentless and if they are behaving this way then they are more likely to be cheating on you.

8. They threaten you in subtle ways- One touch or one particular look in public to make you know that you have done something very ‘wrong’ and that you will receive the consequences later.

9. You feel like you’re stepping on eggshells - You feel a constant sense of anxiety and discomfort when around them because you are aware of how volatile they are. You may feel like you are constantly stepping on egg shells, waiting for them to snap so you can never truly relax.

10. They blame you for things out of your control – You are terrified that anyone may look at you or even attempt to talk to you because they will blame you. Even if you politely decline their advances, you obviously ‘asked’ for it from your body language and with the ‘provocative’ clothes you were wearing. If they have a bad day, they will use you as their emotional punching bag. Healthy couples should not take their bad mood out on their partner or blame them for things that they had no control over.

11. They cannot stand being laughed at or laugh at themselves – They can make fun of you, humiliate and criticise you to their hearts desire, but if you were to make a joke about them, laugh at their expense or even try to give them constructive criticism, they will lose their temper and you will be sorry you did.

12. Whirlwind romance – As a general rule, emotional abuse and moving fast in a relationship tend to go hand in hand. They may want to take your relationship to the next stage such as moving in together which can be great for healthy couples, but for abusers this will just be another way to control and isolate you. If you say you’re not ready, they question your commitment and loyalties to them because ‘who are you planning on leaving them for anyway’? The more commitments you have with somebody abusive e.g. a house, a child and marriage the more stuck you are which is exactly their motive. People reveal their true selves after a while, which is why it is good to take things slow and get to know somebody before deciding whether you want to be with them.

13. They will guilt trip you - They love playing the victim and they will make any excuse under the sun for their controlling behaviour. ‘My ex cheated on me which is why I don’t trust you’ or ‘I’m doing this because I love you’. ‘Do you not love me anymore, is that why you don’t want sex? Or are you getting it from somewhere else?’

14. Erratic ups and downs – Your relationship is like a roller-coaster, one minute everything is fine, they are telling you that you are the love of their life and the next they are screaming at you for attracting another person’s attention. Their anger can go from 0 to 100 in two seconds flat and it’s exhausting. Healthy relationships can still have ups and downs, but they are generally a lot less erratic and extreme than abusive relationships.

15. They won’t let you walk away– If you say you want to end the relationship, they will try everything they can think of to make you stay including emotional blackmail, apologising profusely, promising change that will never happen and perhaps threatening you. They may say things like ‘You will never find another person who will love you, this is the biggest mistake of your life’ or ‘If you leave me for another man, I’ll kill you both.’ They may shower you with gifts and flowers to say ‘sorry’ but this is generally just another manipulation strategy. They will not be able to respect your decision.

16. Once they can no longer control you, they will try to control the way people perceive you – When you leave an abusive person, a big backlash should be expected, because they will be absolutely furious that you have regained control. They will speak about you in a derogatory way to others, tell lies or exaggerations about you to anyone who will listen, perhaps try to interfere with any future relationships or job prospects because they will likely want revenge. This can be very scary and unpleasant, but this says more about them than you and the people who truly know you will know it’s all just rooted in resentment rather than truth. If you are truly concerned for your safety in this event, then reporting incidents to the police or a domestic abuse agency would be the best course of action.

Moving forward:

People who have suffered abuse tend to ask ‘How did I let this happen? How did I not see it before? Was this my fault? The answer to that is no, it is never the victims fault. Abusive people are master manipulators, compulsive liars and they are extremely good at convincing you that they are somebody they are not, so it’s natural that people tend to take them and what they say at face value at first. Unless you are educated on the warning signs of abuse, there was no way you could have known what this person was going to turn out to be like, so don’t put any of the blame on yourself. Sometimes you can’t help getting caught up in someone else’s issues and they are their issues, not yours.

Many people ask ‘Will they change?’ and the short answer is no, it is extremely unlikely that they will ever change. This is who they are, as abusive traits are usually deeply engrained learned behaviours that are very difficult to un-learn. The only way a person would change is if they actually wanted to and many abusers do not even recognise they are doing anything wrong, let alone are motivated to change, besides what’s in it for them? It would take professional help and deep self-insight (which most do not have) for an abusive person to change. I understand having emotional ties with a person makes it difficult to just walk away and you may be scared of the repercussions of doing so, but there are agencies you can contact for advice and support around this matter. They are educated about abuse and will want to help.

This was not written from some sort of moral high ground but it was written to raise awareness and to reduce stigma around emotional abuse. The fact is we are all humans who make mistakes, have imperfections and we all come with past wounds and baggage from previous experiences. However, the whole point of a healthy, nurturing relationship is to find someone who accepts you for who you are. Someone with whom you can mutually support and heal each other, not someone you are constantly battling with. It is every person’s right to have healthy and loving relationships with others around them and experiencing abuse does not have to tarnish the way you view relationships. If you have experienced abuse, there is help available out there for you if you should want it and you can use this experience to learn, grow and make more informed choices next time. Such an experience does not have to define you or your future relationships. Good relationships should not make you feel constantly anxious, depressed, belittled, disrespected, or scared. It doesn’t matter how much they tell you they do it because they ‘love’ you, it’s not acceptable. Someone who loves you will respect you, listen to you, compromise for you, go out of their way to make you happy, respect your boundaries and privacy, accept your shortcomings and make you feel like you are a part of a team, not in a constant power struggle and toxic cycle.

If anybody is affected or knows somebody who may be affected by these issues, then there is support available through the links below and I would encourage you to talk to someone, because you should not have to deal with this alone.

Thank you for listening :)

Useful links:

https://www.womensaid.org.uk/

http://www.mensadviceline.org.uk/

http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/emotional-abuse.html

https://www.nhs.uk/livewell/abuse/pages/domestic-violence-help.aspx

#domesticabuse #emotionalabuse

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