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#that thing has like a 100 notes now like what!!
melbatron5000 · 2 days
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The Big Damn Kiss
Buckle up, my fellow Good Omens Ineffable Mystery Puzzlers, Crackpotters, and Assorted Brainrotters, because I learned something HUGE yesterday.
This will be a bit of a long post, because I want to show you exactly how I got where I am. I want you to understand. I want to put all the naysayers to bed (ha! But I'm still gonna try), and settle this once and for all.
I know (almost) exactly what Crowley gave to Aziraphale during the kiss.
DO NOT TAKE ANY OF MY THEORIES TO NEIL! PLEASE!
Okay? Okay. Thanks. Shall we begin?
Ahem.
Firstly, whether you believe me or not, I am 100% certain that Crowley did, indeed, give something to Aziraphale in his mouth during The Kiss. I've covered that in the link previous. Okay? Okay.
I did not know what it was. I've now heard theories that it was a bullet (nope), a ball bearing (nope), hellfire (nope), and no one, NO ONE has suggested what I see. (If you have, hello! Talk to me!)
Here's our first foreshadowing Clue:
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And here's our next foreshadowing Clue:
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And the next:
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And our last Clue:
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With me so far? Well, that first GIF is a bit off, I couldn't find one of Crowley actually spitting out the flies. But he does. When Beelzebub first drags him to Hell, he actually goes "Pleaugh!" and spits out four or five flies.
Moving right along, we come to Crowley in Heaven with Muriel, looking at the trial. We learn two important things here:
One, Gabriel doesn't have a desk.
Two, Muriel does. Where they keep the records. And it's a bit lonely. Every few hundred years, someone comes and asks for something. Muriel can't access the sensitive ones, you have to be pretty high up. A throne, dominion, or higher. Like, maybe Supreme Archangel?
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So if Gabriel doesn't have a desk, whose desk is he at when he's getting ready to leave Heaven? Of course I can't find a damn picture of Gabriel at the desk, but it's Muriel's. Where they keep the RECORDS.
Gabriel puts his memory into the fly, then gets on the elevator to go to Earth.
Now, when Gabriel opens the fly with his memories inside, we find out that it's a container. Bigger on the inside. You can put thing(S) in it. The bit we see of him remembering is shot in two parts, one where he's flying down a red tunnel, one where he's flying down a blue. If you slow this scene down and watch, you can see that he is NOT looking at just his own memories. There is more going on here, more that he was not present for. @embracing-the-ineffable put up a great meta about that here. Go look!
Now I figured Gabriel must have taken something else. Something important. Something useful. Something he meant to give to Aziraphale, except he forgot.
I also figured he must have left whatever it was in the fly when he took his memories out. Crowley must have realized while watching the trial footage that Gabriel also grabbed something else. I don't know when Crowley grabs the fly, but he does. And that is what he gives to Aziraphale in the kiss. Why? Well.
I had no idea what Gabriel took until I started working on the chiastic structure of season 2. I'm not done with that analysis yet, but let me show you one thing that I have found so far:
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(The numbers are just to try and help me navigate the story and its events without time stamps)
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My note #357 of what happens isn't quite right, but when I saw the only two times Aziraphale says "I forgive you" are towards the beginning of Season 2 and towards the end, I realized I had something.
Rephrase line 357: Crowley's kiss is forgiven IN EXCHANGE FOR RECORDS.
(Not that I think Crowley's kiss needs to be forgiven. It's just what Aziraphale says, and had to say at that moment, because the Metatron was listening in.)
What does Heaven in Good Omens remind us of most of all?
A big corporate entity. And what do powerful people do when they get fired from a big corporate entity? They download all their emails while they're cleaning out their desks. Damning emails. Emails that can be used to black mail or even destroy big corporate entities. Or, ya know, maybe they swipe some sensitive RECORDS?
Oh yes.
Records that Gabriel meant to give to Aziraphale, but he forgot. Records that Crowley realized Gabriel had put in the fly. The fly that Crowley grabbed once Gabriel had his memory out. The fly that he gave to Aziraphale when he kissed him. The fly that no longer held Gabriel's memory, but did still contain those damning records.
Here's Aziraphale reading the records:
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Here's Aziraphale being horrified and outraged by what he's reading:
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And here's Aziraphale realizing he has got some GOOD DIRT on Heaven. Maybe enough to bring them down:
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That's it folks. I have no idea what the records actually say, and maybe we're not meant to know until season 3, but whatever it is, it's GOOD.
That's my story, and by God Herself, I'm sticking to it.
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hllywdwhre · 19 hours
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My Darling Boy
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Pairing: Thomas Shelby x Irish!fem!reader
Summary: Tommy’s late night leads to you comforting him and a recount of the first time you realized you loved him.
Warnings: Panic attacks, reader faces anti-Irish sentiment from a stranger, Tommy says some questionable things about the Irish but nothing too bad💀, violence, bar fight. Let me know if I missed any!
Word Count: 2.8K
Notes: This was 100% inspired by @red-write-hand ‘s Tommy bot. My god do I love that thing and fluff it gives me. I tried keeping this as reader friendly as possible, but some details had to be added to fit the plot, such as reader being Irish.
Edit: This has not been proofread and YIKES. Sorry for all the errors😭
Flashbacks are italicized!
You stared at the clock on your wall that read 2:07 AM. Tommy was supposed to be in bed three hours ago. It was your agreement. He could work as late as he wanted as long as he ate all three meals with you and came to bed at 11. The resolve had come almost a year ago when you’d finally told him you, his wife, felt like second place to his work.
But here it was. 2AM, your bed felt cold without him there, and this was the third time this week that he hadn’t come to bed on time.
You tried not to argue with him. He had enough stress with work and you didn’t want to be a source of more stress, but you had his same quick temper and you couldn’t deny that you were more than irritated that he was seemingly back to his old ways of ignoring your agreement.
You made your way down the hall and to his office, leaning against the door frame.
Tommy spoke before you could, “I know what you’re about to say.”
The exhaustion in his voice and the way he looked… defeated immediately caused a change of heart in you, though.
“My darling boy,” you said in a soft voice, making sure to use the pet name you had for him to try and avoid him thinking you were there for an argument.
“Don’t ‘my darling boy’ me,” he replied immediately with a bite in his tone, “Not when you’re here to start an argument with me. What time is it?”
You’d known Tommy since he came back from The Great War. You knew more than well enough by now to not take his words to heart when he was like this. He was taking his anger out on you, whether you deserved it or not.
You had blinded men and taken their tongues using the bladed Peaky Blinders cap for speaking to you the way Tommy was speaking to you, but Tommy was your soft spot. Somehow, you always remained calm when it came to Tommy.
You made your way over to his desk and picked up the empty whiskey glass that was next to a stack of papers that littered his desk.
“It’s 2 in the morning, my love,” you replied in a calm voice. You walked over to the fireplace where his bottle of whiskey sat and refilled the glass then placed it on the desk again.
He picked it up as soon as you set it down and took a long drink from it.
“I have work, you know that. The business doesn’t run itself.” He took another swallow of the liquid and you could see the way his breathing had picked up slightly.
It started to make sense in that moment. You knew Tommy as well as he knew you and as well as you knew yourself. You knew the signs of one of his panic attacks beginning and stepped between him and his desk.
“I know that. I’m not mad at you, darling,” you replied after a moment. You made sure to keep your voice the steady and calm tone you knew he needed at the moment as you spoke. “Can you look at me?”
Tommy took a deep breath before looking up at you and you could see the thin sheen of sweat on his forehead along with the way his eyes seemed unable to focus on you. You lifted your hand to his cheek and gently ran your thumb across it in a slow motion.
“What’s your full name?” You asked him. The questions you would ask him changed from time-to-time so he wouldn’t get too used to them. They were simple questions, enough to distract him and get him to focus on you, but not enough to send him into a further panic.
“Thomas Michael Shelby, why?” He raised the glass to his lips again, but his breathing only picked up more.
You took the glass from his hand and set it on the desk behind you then placed his hand on your chest, right where you knew he would be able to feel your heartbeat.
“Focus on my breathing and my voice. What’s John’s wife’s name?” You asked him next.
You watched as he closed his eyes and did as you said, trying to match his breathing to yours as you began taking slower and deeper breaths.
“Esme,” he answered after a moment.
“When’s our wedding anniversary?” You asked next.
”The 17th of August.”
You knew it was silly, but you couldn’t help the blush that rose to your cheeks at how quickly and easily he answered that question. It was the little things like that which reminded you that you were still his number one priority.
“Can you look at me again?” You asked him once you noticed his breathing had calmed down.
Tommy looked to you, his blue eyes immediately finding your eyes and locking onto them. The corner of his mouth tilted into a small smirk and you returned it with a small smile of your own.
“I love you,” you told him as you crawled into his lap and pulled him into a hug, trying to help ground him more.
He immediately returned your hug and buried his head into your neck. Your hands instinctively rose to the back of his head and gently ran your nails across the shaved part of it.
“I love you, too. Even when I’m a mess,” he replied quietly.
“You’re not a mess,” you argued immediately, “you’re my amazing husband, an amazing business leader, an amazing member of parliament, and the strongest person I’ve ever met.”
A sigh left his lips after a long moment and his head remained buried in your neck. His breathing was no longer panicked and he had relaxed into your hold completely.
“I don’t deserve you,” he muttered into your neck.
“Funny,” you said with a chuckle, “I think the same thing of me.” You moved your head enough so you could kiss his temple. “Love you with all my heart, Thomas Shelby. You’re my darling boy.”
As soon as the pet name left your lips, he was chuckling into your neck. It was one anyone else would be maimed for calling him, but somehow you saying it had won him over.
“Love you, too,” he murmured in response.
After a couple long minutes of the two of you curled into each other, and once you were sure he wouldn’t panic speaking of it, you asked him,
“What led to it?”
He immediately knew what you were asking and shook his head in your neck,
“Nothing,” he replied in a defeated voice.
You pulled back enough to cause him to raise his head and she the quirked brow you were giving him,
“Thomas Shelby, what do you tell me every time I try to say the same thing?”
Any time you tried to belittle your problems, Tommy was the one who was telling you that if it was causing you troubles, then it wasn’t nothing and it was worth talking about.
He grumbled something under his breath about using his own words against him and then finally answered.
“The bloody Irish,” he said loud enough for you to hear.
You couldn’t stop the giggle that left your lips. You knew Tommy knew better than to think she was laughing at him or her problems; you were simply laughing at the irony of it all.
“What have my people done now?” You asked, purposefully making your accent come out as thick as possible to pick on him.
“Made an illegal shipment without our say so,” Tommy replied and you could hear the smile in his voice.
“Well… we’ve never liked to obey the English. I think my ancestors are rolling in their graves at how soft I am with you,” you teased, hoping to get at least a chuckle out of him.
It worked and you could feel the way his body shook the slightest bit as the small laugh left him,
“You’re not soft, darling, you’re just civilized,” he teased in return.
You pulled away with a look of mock offense on your face,
“Hey, now! My people are very civilized, we just know how to have fun,” you told him.
You know Tommy held no actual disdain towards you or your Irish blood. He himself was part Irish. He only spoke this way around you to get under your skin and pick on you.
“If you call bar fights being civilized then sure, darling.” The smirk on his face told you he was still only teasing you.
You scrunched up your nose as you looked at him,
“Maybe not your strongest point, love. I’ve come home with a black eye from an English bar fight where, for once, I was genuinely an innocent bystander and I had to keep you from going after half of Small Heath,” you pointed out.
Tommy’s face immediately darkened at the memory of that night and he tried to stutter out some defense of how it was different, but you shook your head no.
“You know that was the night I realized I loved you?” You told him as your own version of the memories flitted through your mind and you tried to distract him from the darker thoughts of his mind.
Your words seemed to catch him off guard and he looked up at you with surprise written on his features.
“Really?” He asked, unsure how else to reply.
You nodded in response and you felt another deep blush creep onto your cheeks. One thing you and Tommy had in common was that vulnerability didn’t come natural to you.
“Would you care to know how I remember that night?” You asked to which he nodded. “It was after a day of shopping with Ada and Esme. You and I had been together for three months at that point, and Ada and Esme were sure we were going to end up getting married, so they wanted to make sure I knew I was part of the family.”
You knew he knew all of this, but you wanted to tell him the whole story of how you had come to the realization and what had happened leading up to the fight.
”After we were done shopping, Esme had John meet us up at The Garrison so we could all have a drink.”
The three of you stumbled through the doors of the pub, giggling over something Ada had said.
John motioned the three of you over to the table he was sitting at, already having ordered a round of drinks for you. It was the first time you had sat outside of the private room the Shelbys had, and the last.
In the middle of the three of you telling John about the new dress Ada had bought, someone who’d had one too many drinks came stumbling over.
“I don’t get you Shelbys. You serve your country in the war then associate with some Irish scum,” he spat out, motioning from John to you.
You had met the other Shelbys while Arthur, Tommy, and John were in France. Polly had needed a bookkeeper for the betting shop and had taken you, even vouching for you when they had returned. After a year of working with them, one incident where you had been used as bait that had gone too far, and you’d been forced to defend yourself, Tommy had decided to make you an official Peaky Blinder. You may not wear your Peaky cap, but the bladed item was also on you. Offers had been made to hide blades in other women’s items of clothing, but you had denied. You had learned how to hide the cap among scarves, shawls, or in your bags and you wanted the official Peaky Blinders symbol.
John had immediately jumped to your defense that night in The Garrison.
“She’s a damn Peaky Blinder and has been for years! She can be trusted as well as any Englishman or woman.” He had defended, standing up to meet the man eye-to-eye as a warning to leave.
“Do you know who you’re talking about?” Ada said next, standing up also, “Irish or not, she’s Tommy’s girl and a Blinder.”
“I don’t give a shit if she’s Tommy’s current whore or not. She’s Irish scum and I don’t want to be in a pub with the likes of her,” the man spat back at Ada.
Esme and you both stood up at this and the rest of the pub had silenced as they watched the scene unfold. Seemingly out of thin air, a couple other Blinders that were present came to stand beside John as he told the man to leave the pub while he could still see the door.
Next thing you knew, Esme had pulled you harshly out of the way as a glass shattered against the wall behind you.
Chaos broke out immediately. Despite you trying to fight against them, a couple patrons or other members of the Peaky Blinders (you weren’t sure which) had tried to drag you, Ada, and Esme back to the office. During the mix, a blow landed on your cheek and you quickly swung back.
The fight seemed to halt immediately after. Even if the guy was brave enough to harass you for being Irish, throw a glass at your head, and fight John over everything, everyone else seemed to realize the grave mistake that had been made in that moment.
No one touched Thomas Shelby’s woman, and there she was with a bruise already evident on her cheek.
John grabbed the guy by the scruff of the neck like he was nothing more than a rabid dog, called for you to follow him, and called for Esme and Ada to be walked back to the betting shop and for all the members of the Peaky Blinders present to go there, also.
You walked with John to the canal and were told by John that you ‘could do the honors of killing the bastard’ yourself.
After the deed was done, the two of you had walked back to the betting shop and arrived at the same time as Tommy.
You remembered the worry on his face as he looked for you, the anger that took over when he spotted the black eye, him screaming at everyone to give him an answer as to what had happened and who had harmed you, and the way he had pulled you into his arms in a hug that nearly crushed you.
You remembered the feeling of safety that washed over you once you were in his arms, the feeling of home, and the way you were able to ignore the chaos around you as others explained what exactly had happened that night.
You remembered the way he wouldn’t let anyone else touch you until he had personally looked you over for any injuries.
You remembered the look he had when you told him you’d killed the man. The disappointment over not being the one to do it himself, but the pride in you standing up for yourself.
“I remember being absolutely terrified when it finally clicked in my head what I was feeling. I have never feared you, but I was terrified of ever getting my heart broken again. I knew Esme and Ada had said they were sure we would be married, but my own insecurities came into play, and I was terrified you’d realize how much of a mess I could be and you’d leave me,” you told him, leaned in and kissing him softly for a moment before continuing on, “You never left me. Even when we’ve fought, you never let me feel like you were going to leave me. I learned that no matter what happened, you’d move the earth, heavens, and hells to make sure you always came back to me.”
Tommy remained silent as you finished your story. He opened his mouth several times to speak, but it seemed you had actually managed to make the man speechless.
“I love you, Thomas Michael Shelby,” you muttered as you leaned in to kiss him again, “I meant it the first time I said those words, when I accepted your proposal, when we said them at the altar, when I say them now, and every time in between. You’re my darling boy through it all.”
His hand came up to cup your face and he rested his forehead against yours, “I’ve meant them all, too. You’re mine until the end of time.”
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sugarwavelove · 6 hours
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Dearest older brother...?
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Notes: woke up from my nap and wrote this off the top of my head. Some of this is based off my own personal experiences. Not proofread.
Content to be found: 100% PLATONIC, implied bpd and ocd if you squint, unhealthy sibling dynamics (lmk if there's more I should add)
You remember asking Sunday that question all too well. And boy, how did you regret it. 
“Is it ok if I call you… big brother now?”
You so desperately wanted to have a caring family, siblings, but younger naive you clung to the wrong brotherly figure. 
He and Robin had such a tight bond, and you, being an only child, envied them. So when you were invited to playdates, you enjoyed every second being with them. 
The fond memories of you and Sunday supporting Robin's dreams. Sneaking into the kitchen to grab snacks without getting caught. You three grew so close, you practically were their third sibling. 
But happiness doesn't last long. The more you all grew up and followed different paths, the more distant you guys became. Of course, there are still attempts to meet up, but it was difficult. Most of the time, you were left behind with Sunday, the man you called big brother. 
Could you really call him that anymore though? He made little effort to keep ties with you. Check in on you. You understand that him and Robin obviously had a closer bond. Therefore, he'd pay more attention to her, but you? It's like he was trying to erase you from his life. 
No. That's not right. He distances himself from you and lets you fall into loneliness. Yes, that's true. But then why does he keep coming back every time you're at your breaking point? 
“What's wrong? You can always tell me anything. I am your big brother, after all.” 
It's the same thing every time. 
He asks you what's wrong. You break down. He consoles you. Then leaves and the cycle repeats. And every time you refuse to talk, he'll manipulate your emotions to speak and cause you to break down even more. 
Why would a big brother do this to his younger sibling? 
You couldn't take the emotional hurt anymore. It's like he just sees this as a game. He always uses the big brother card on you knowing it's your weakness. 
Things get worse though. Of course they do. 
You caught news that Robin has been found dead. That can't be right. It can't. You loved Robin as if she were your actual sister. Why did she die?? 
So here you are. Walking to the estate where Sunday should be. Why are you even going to him? You should be distancing yourself and be grieving alone. As much as he emotionally hurts you, you still care about him. As much as he abandons you, you always come back. 
As soon as you make it through his office doors, someone aggressively grabs you by the shoulders and backs you up to the nearest wall. 
It's Sunday. 
He's shaking, breathing hard, clearly angry, but hurt above all. He rests his head on your shoulder, still holding you but with less force. 
You've never seen him like this before. In the past, you'd occasionally see tiny outbursts when he couldn't get things the way he wanted, but he never displayed this much emotion near you. 
“...Don't leave me too” he said in a shaky voice, but you couldn't catch that. All you could hear was your heartbeat from the adrenaline of suddenly being forced against a wall. 
Out of genuine care you still held for him, you embraced him. He stiffened up but soon accepted it. 
No matter how much you regretted ever calling him big brother, no matter how much it hurt when he abandoned you, you couldn't find it within your heart to leave and move on. 
Comforting him was clearly a mistake. For out of fear he'd lose his only other sibling, he imprisoned you in a spare room in his estate. 
He still had to keep up appearances so you'd constantly be left alone repeatedly. The cycle repeats itself again. He'll come back home and comfort you for leaving you alone for so long, then leave again for a long period of time. 
You'd never escape. You had so many insecurities and were so emotionally constipated. Sunday made things worse. He just had to keep you somewhere where he knew he couldn't lose track of you and possibly lose you just like Robin.
You still loved him. You always would. And he in return would offer you the type of love you never got from your actual family, even if it was just for a bit. 
To you, he was your beloved older brother no matter what.
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thewitchywitch · 3 days
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Palmistry 101
Alrighty y’all so this is the first informational post in my palmistry post series, where I share my personal notes and information I’ve gathered through experience as a semi-professional palmist. The first post, Palmistry 100, is available here if you’d like to read it.
This post will be a bit long, so everything is available under the cut!
Okay so the first thing we’ll cover is which hand to read. Short answer? We absolutely read both hands. We do this to get a more complete and full understanding of someone’s personality. The dominant hand shows the outward personality, actions, and what they’ve done with what they were given, sorta like the sun sign in astrology. The non-dominant hand shows the more inner workings, someone’s inclinations, and more of their way of thinking/reflections, sorta like the moon sign in astrology. Think conscious versus subconscious. So what do we do if someone is ambidextrous? First, I ask them which hand they default to when it comes to writing. Most of the time, they will tell you clearly. On the rare chance that someone says they write with both, check the flexibility of their thumb—the hand with the less flexible thumb is their dominant hand.
That’s cool, now we know to read both hands, now what? How do we study this before going out into the world offering our friends and families readings? Because that’s a lot of pressure. Slow down there tiger, you’ve probably got a long way before doing an in-person reading, especially for someone with a lot of questions. The best way to study palms can be broken down into 2.5 parts.
Number 1, take a print! All you need is some paper and ink. Cover your hand in ink (one at a time of course) and push firmly into the paper. If done correctly, you should be able to clearly see the lines in your hands and even your finger prints and palmar ridges. Here’s an example:
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Prints are fantastic for learning, because not only are you able to clearly see the lines and use them as a reference for study, but now you have a print that you can use to compare your hands in the future, because a lot of the lines in your hands will change over time. Having a print allows you to take your time when studying and learning to read palms, much better than asking your curious mom to check her palms and then getting a borage of “What do you see?” and “What does that mean?”
Number 2, pictures! Phone cameras have come a very long way over the years, and most people are able to capture a fairly good image of someone’s palm. The reason this is less preferred than a print is because not only will some of the minor lines and the palmar ridges be basically invisible, but you also won’t be able to measure the fingers against each other (which we’ll get into in a different post). That being said, they’re still a great resource to have, especially if you’re not able to take a print for any variety of valid reasons.
2.5? 2.5 includes pictures of celebrity hands, which can be found accompanying readings from other palmists sometimes, just like is done with celebrity astrology. I would recommend to ignore the other palmist’s reading and just study the palms, especially of the dominant hand, and try to match your findings with the way said celebrity portrays themselves, especially in interviews. For example, Hillary Clinton has a simian line, which in short, makes a lot of sense for her based on her career in politics. Jim Carrey has a long ring finger, sometimes known as the Apollo finger, which is found in a lot of people drawn to being the star of the room, and some people in the public eye like actors and comedians (and I’m not just saying that). You can also find plenty, and I mean plenty, of palm pictures on reddit, specifically r/palmistry, which I will absolutely recommend to beginners as a studying resource once you learn a few things to pinpoint.
So we’ve identified some great ways to get your hands on some other hands, which is fantastic. Learning to read for strangers helps you to build you objectivity when reading—it removes bias from your readings, which sharpens your knowledge on the topic.
In the next post, we’ll begin the discussion on the major lines of the palms, which is where I usually start my readings.
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i got an overwhelming amount of positive feedback on my smutty lucifer fic (horny jail for all of you but also myself hahah) and i legitimately wasn't planning to write a 2nd part bc i thought it was a good standalone piece, but now i am...... seriously considering it tbh
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loosingmoreletters · 3 months
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slams hand down do it you know you want to do it,,, sugar daddy au and now its just awkward as fuck but they get to Deal with It. bonus points for people laughing at them in the background. i am your inner demon whispering that this is a good idea and you should absolutely write it (no pressure ofc!!! take your time and its fine if you want to!!!)
for ship names. yeah very sad. i havent settled on like. a combination of their names that sound appealing to me so im just. sitting there awkwardly in Yun Taeheon x Shin Junseo. simple but it works. ill bonk my brain for ideas later,, i have cut down on thigns i need to hand in tomorrow im procrastinating because the thing i need to do is so horribly boring
maybe the korean side of the fandom has something going on but that would require me to go on twitter and figure out what korean words to put in the search box and I'm already failing at "go on twitter".
sdkhldfkhg the inner demons are winning. now I'm kinda contemplating how this would even start, which made me realize we know fuck all about Shin Junseo's past??? We only knew that apparently he had a shitty job before he awakened and didn't have any friends and seemingly also has no family.
So like? Local man signs up on an app bc honestly at this point being a sugar baby would not be worse than another horrible shift at whatever minimum wage job he has to pay the bills?
And cool, he hits it off with Yun Taeheon, something something business man. It's a lot less hollywood-pretty-woman than he expected, more nice dinners with genuinely entertaining discussions, and sure getting laid is nice too, and then, well, the world goes to shit for a hot second and well, the contract written before runs out, isn't renewed and Shin Junseo has a moment between picking up a shitty job again and awakening where he comfortably lives on his savings while his,,, ex? well, no, ex would be implying they dated. boss is also not quite the term, his previous situationship, made himself a guild master.
whatever.
and then the world goes even more to shit and he drags corpses and the memories of a world annihilated out of a dungeon. He makes his plan, keeps his head down and then fucking Yun Taeheon is standing in front of him again.
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beatcroc · 8 months
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did the old tumblr live toggle actually work for yall? mine literally never has lmao
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waterwindow · 1 year
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Yea the pictures blurry, u dont get to read my 10000 misspellings but I been taking slow methodical notes on Emesis Blue
And I discovered something heheheheh
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went to my first con in 4 years on Friday to meet Kaiji Tang and got a Dazai autograph + video recording of him reading to me. He was the sweetest person (as I knew he would be) and interacting with him was lovely, but also at the same time oh boy it sure was an extremely stressful, ugly wake-up call of what it feels like to live in a world now where everyone around you has blissfully moved on from covid and can enjoy things normally and happily, while you'll forever be trapped in a hellscape of perpetual fear 🫠🫠🫠
#like. to be clear this was the first time i've been literally anywhere but doctor's appointments in 4 years#not just because of the pandemic but because of mental and physical exhaustion#so it was a Big Mistake to go from 0 to 100 and not ease myself into it at all#but at the same time........ it was a fucking hellscape of people. i don't think any kind of buildup could have prepared me for it at all.#it was so much less crowded in 2020 (ironically the very last place i ever went; literally on the BRINK of covid)#and now idk what it's become. a monster con. it was unbelievable.#but i was only there for less than an hour but i was so so so terrified that i very nearly left before even seeing him#i couldn't even fully enjoy meeting him as kind as he was because i was so anxious and distracted#and when i got back to the car i just fucking cried.........#the last five days i've just been sitting in fear waiting to feel Any sort of symptoms#i wore two masks and again was barely there for long but Still#and everyone around me was so chill as if everything was normal and No One was wearing a mask :))))) it's not fucking fair man :)))))#insert the 'they don't know' meme; they don't know how much covid can destroy your body even if you get a 'mild' case#i would never want to be that ignorant even if i wasn't disabled and didn't have reason to worry (but everyone has reason to worry!!!)#but also. ignorance is bliss and it just really fucking sucks man.#it really fucking sucks. why do they get to be happy and enjoying life and not /me?/#why can't i do just ONE thing for myself without having it tainted by anxiety and fear that i'm going to die horribly???#while they get to do fucking EVERYTHING???#if they all just wore masks we could all enjoy ourselves much more comfortably than some of us are now#but no that's too much to ask from people 🙃🙃🙃#shit sucks man. the world sucks. something that should be a happy memory for me was simultaneously the most awful experience#and i don't know how to feel about it now that it's over#he knew that i was afraid and at the end he told me that he hoped to see me again at another event someday#and that made me cry because it felt like dazai telling me to live. and i want to. but i don't know how to when the world is like this now.#i desperately want to be able to see him again someday but right now after how terrifying that was i never want to go to a con ever again..#i wanted to ask him things about the manga and about dazai but i was being rushed and stressed so i couldn't ugh#(and doing that is hard enough anyway cause disability and i have to talk with my phone bahhhh)#at least i was able to give him my note *sigh*
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peridots-pixiwolf · 1 year
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what is happening
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#I’ve recently gotten a pretty influx of new followers so hi#but also I’m so incredibly nervous#I’ve never had that on anything before#I’m trying to just imagine it’s not there and just not think about it#and like I know I’m fairly anonymous on here so no one will know who I am#but like that fear of being judged and hated for my sexuality has jumped through the roof#because like first and foremost I made this account when I had a crush on a lady who didn’t reciprocate my feelings#so I wanted a place to vent#and I ended up venting a lot on here which I find helpful since I don’t feel like I really have people in my life I can talk to#and I wanted to share photos and quotes and reviews of lesbian stuff#but I used to get like 100 notes at most#and even then I was like wow that’s massive 100 people like this!#it made me want to share more#but I guess my head is just getting worried now that people are going to say what’s been said to me in the past#and they are going to say I’m a bad person for being a lesbian or just say mean stuff to me#or like I’ll get dragged into discourse#honestly that scares me a lot I don’t want to be dragged into discourse#and I know likes it’s my own fault I made this account and chose to put stuff up here so I don’t really have any right to complain#but I still want a place to vent and I still want to share lots of cool oop or hard to find things so everyone can enjoy them too#but I guess I’m also anxious about it. because that’s a lot of people#and for someone who is on the dsp and only really leaves the house for appointments most of the time#like only rarely leaving it for other reasons like enjoyment#that’s pretty daunting#I am definitely glad I don’t have a photo of my face on here or my name because that would overwhelm me too much
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Ok, I would just like to talk to anyone who says Wanda is unredeemable now, but who also will go through whatever hoops they want to support Loki’s redemption arc. That is all, thank you.
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arolesbianism · 1 month
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Horrible realization that if I go through with recollecting all the oni logs then I'll have to actually find out how to get "a seed is planted" like for realsies this time. Maybe I should just cheat them all in actually. <3.
#rat rambles#oni posting#a seed is planted sucks so bad its like my second favorite log and its been such a pain in the fucking ass to find#appearing then dissapearing so thourougly that I thought I might have made it up somehow making me learn to look into the god damn code to#find out if Im crazy or not only to find it along side all the story trait logs despite it being in the research notes section and Then I#open oni again to chech smth completely different and it fucking reapears out of nowhere and then the game updates and all my logs explode#this fucker has tormented me for so long and Ive seen no one else talk abt it so Im still not 100% convinced it wasnt a glitch somehow#it probably is a real log thats in the game and it disappearing is the glitch but boy do I have no way of knowing#if that is the case I can only imagine it relates to it seemingly having been intended as a story trait log#I assume it was moved to research notes because of how long it is but idk#anyways nails you motherfucker why must you have recorded one of the more lore heavy logs in the game and then made it a bitch to find#like genuinely I think its one of like 3 max logs that directly mention duplicants by name#ok ok there might be 4 I dont remember exactly#but two of those would be by jackie and one by probably nikola so nails mentioning them by name is a pretty big deal#and thats if Im remembering those logs correctly which I am likely not lol#its like 3 am ok#a seed is planted also just gives us some juicy lore relating to the actual tech we see in game#along with. that whole unnamed human subject thing. that still haunts me.#who are you subject whatever your number was and are you olivia specifically to spite me#if it wasnt for the b111-1 thing I wouldn't consider her that strong a canidate but it is a thing so she is#not only is she a strong candidate but shes like. one of like 3 real candidates we have for that#it's a weird case because it could very easily be a complete rando especially given the subject number instead of a work id being given#but also given its relation to dupes itd be weird if it wasnt someone who either worked at gravitas or otherwise got duped#which thankfully does free olivia of some possibility since as far as we know there are no olivia dupes lol#jorge and dr.holland are the other two main options in my minds eye but thats based on very little#dr.holland in particular would kind of vaguely make sense given hes mentioned in that story trait's artifact reward#but ofc given that nails does not choose to elaborate on that whole thing all I can do is blindly speculate#they also mention a name which is fun because its one of our rare complete randos in oni lore#now. he could easily be revealed to be some dupe but Im pretty sure the name was like bruce or smth so I dont consider it likely#also I am deeply curious of what this bruce guy was to nails given nails calls him 'my darling bruce'
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29121996 · 3 months
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i think . i need to be bonked on the head
#me: hey im worried abt xyz happening.#universe: *1938294 fucking signs itll work out the way i want / think it will*#me: ha doubt.#FUCK I CANT WIN#my granddada throwinf his hands i the air. my angel guide sighing in defeat and hanging her head fr .#thwy love me xx but if they dont wanna kick my ass sometimes bc i just Doubt Everything !#like its odd bc i 100% think and know i can have wbatever i want i deserve that#side note the only way to stop my little tangent self thought of “nothibg is easy” was changing it to 'havent i suffered enough?#ahouldnt i Have an easy life now?'#n it worked . like i dont . assume thw worst abt shit anymore (as much. old habita die hars what u gonna do abt it)#but this is the one thing i KNOW im clutxhing onto the past with#and im trying . to Not . but theres resentment and bitterness laced in my skin#and it makes it hard to just let go even if im fucking bleeding and bruised#small part of me thibks it means letting go cully#n while ive Kinda done that (its hars to explain) thata not what it means . i elly just gotta accept that what hapoened happened#and move on and stop holding so tigjtly onto whagever it is . im grasping onto.#its . H#i did infaft ask my deck n they straight uo told me to stop being a worrywart#like i am Anxious for No Reason (i have reason its just trauma but not rlly a reason yknow?)#openly talking abt this on tumblr bc my oomfa ontwt would immediatwly cl9ck what this is abt#and id get berated#know8ng that if this went foreward id 100% have to b sneaky and quiet is . both hot and awful :(#i personally dp think itd be a good idea bc i dont need/want anyone else in my head feeding the anxiety#i know might exist.#whack.#zide n9te . i rlly need to make a manifestation list of stufc that i have actually manifested#bc i get wprried that im not that powerful oe that im an ecception to thr rulw but i am Not#i can 100% do whatever i want ! and create whatever i want ! backed up ! by the fact that i dony ! even feel like !#a real ! person half the fucking time !#i did two major emotionally damaging things tonight and feel good abt them both .
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voids-ideas · 2 months
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Ok I am going to do this simply because the first thing I will put here I NEED to do it and I have 0 motivation to do it even though it is EXTREMELY important
In fact, I think that's the reason why I don't want to do it... anyway
If this gets to 30 notes, I do that thing
50 notes, I call to ask if my doctor's appointment has been scheduled (I've been avoiding it for two weeks now)
100 notes, I go wash my shoes that have long needed washing and are just sitting there, existing, waiting for me to deign to wash them.
200 notes, I finish organizing my room (I organized it halfway and then left a bunch of things that still don't have a defined place)
500 notes, I use the things I have to bleach and color my hair. The only thing that has stopped me is the fear of doing it wrong or being too lazy to maintain it.
1k notes, I stop doing things that I know will trigger my chronic pain with the pure intention of confirming that the pain was indeed real (don't do this. 0 recommended).
5k notes, I try some new food without fear of wasting money by buying something I most likely won't like (my autism hates new foods)
10k notes, I wear my bi flag earrings in front of someone I wouldn't usually wear them with. I trust that they possibly wouldn't have a problem with me being bi, but I would never get up the courage to tell them anything
20k notes, wtf I have absolutely no idea. If it comes to this, ehhh... Honestly, I have no idea what I'm doing here. Do I promise to be honest in therapy and stop telling them that everything is perfect even though nothing has ever been perfect? Yeah, that probably works. Please don't go this far, I don't know how to do this. Maybe I should... but... it would be awful to learn it
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needlekind · 1 year
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filterable picrew database!
original post updated march 7 2024
hey pals!! i'm working on a filterable, tagged collection of picrew i like. right now there's over 100 picrew (and other such makers such as those from neka or meiker) in there with tags for things like fashion, hair options, skin colors, specific features like horns or headscarves, and body types. you can search for multiple tags at a time and filter out tags you don't want. the whole thing is organized in a big grid of sample results from the picrew in question, so you can see the style at a glance and click it for more images and the url, but you can change the view and organization system however you like.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
the link is here!!! feel free to share this wherever. i'm still going through my folders and adding more makers, so expect lots of updates real soon.
i'm hoping this makes it easier for people to find picrew that suit them and their characters, especially in cases where it's unfortunately harder to find certain features like dark skin options and fat bodies.
really important notes:
i do not take requests for additional tags. sorry!! please understand that every time i want to use a new tag, i have to manually go into every maker in the entire backlog and check to see if they have it. it's a pain! it takes a while! there's only one of me! the only circumstance under which i'm willing to add a new tag is if you're willing to go through the backlog and link me every picrew that needs the tag, and i can use it going forward.
if something is tagged wrong, i need to know which maker it is so i can fix it. you need to tell me! the most useful way to send me a specific picrew is a direct link, or the artist name (which will be the title when you click into the item in the database). sometimes i get vague comments like "there are makers in x tag that don't fit" and no one EVER follows up with which ones they are so i can't FIX IT.
one big thing that you can do to help me with this database is take one of the links on my tba page and tell me what tags apply to it. literally just one! enough folks see and use this resource that just a few people taking one takes a load off my plate.
💖🍵 if this resource has been useful for you, consider sending me a tip on ko-fi!!
have fun!!!! i hope this is helpful for people!!!
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