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turnpage · 3 years

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send me a ✐ for a random sentence starter from my muse (1-1500) — tw: profanity, mild nsfw, long list

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❨1❩ ❛ They are dreams, but I’m too out of control, I lose myself in them, and I’ve already lost too much to let them take over. ❜  ❨2❩ ❛ Sometimes human places create inhuman monsters. ❜ ❨3❩ ❛ I'm not gonna hurt ya. I'm just going to bash your brains in. ❜ ❨4❩ ❛ Monsters are real. Ghosts are too. They live inside of us, and sometimes, they win. ❜ ❨5❩ ❛ The world's a hard place. It doesn't care. It doesn't hate you and me, but it doesn't love us, either. ❜ ❨6❩ ❛ The tears that heal are also the tears that scald and scourge. ❜ ❨7❩ ❛ Pull your act together and just go on. ❜ ❨8❩ ❛ I had never dreamed there could be so much pain in a life when there is nothing physically wrong. I hurt all the time. ❜ ❨9❩ ❛ Tough old world, baby. If you're not bolted together tightly, you're gonna shake, rattle, and roll before you turn thirty. ❜ ❨10❩ ❛ Are you sure self-pity is a luxury you can afford? ❜ ❨11❩ ❛ Truth comes out. In the end it always comes out. ❜ ❨12❩ ❛ Living by your wits is always knowing where the wasps are. ❜ ❨13❩ ❛ No matter where you go, the same asshole gets off the plane. ❜ ❨14❩ ❛ We sometimes need to create unreal monsters and bogies to stand in for all the things we fear in our real lives. ❜ ❨15❩ ❛ That’s your job in this hard world, to keep your love alive and see that you get on, no matter what. ❜ ❨16❩ ❛ Human nature, baby. Grab it and growl. ❜ ❨17❩ ❛ God wiped snot out of his nose and that was you. ❜ ❨18❩ ❛ Run away. Quick. And remember how much I love you. ❜ ❨19❩ ❛ How many times, over how many years, have I—a grown adult—asked for the mercy of another chance? ❜ ❨20❩ ❛ I was suddenly so sick of myself, so revolted. ❜ ❨21❩ ❛ You listen to me. I’m going to talk to you about it this once and never again this same way. ❜ ❨22❩ ❛ But those pieces, they’ll never fit just the same way again. Never in this world. ❜ ❨23❩ ❛ Dying is a part of living. You have to keep tuning in to that if you expect to be a whole person. ❜ ❨24❩ ❛ Officious little prick. ❜ ❨25❩ ❛ I’ve been sleepwalking again, my dear. — The plants are moving under the rug. ❜ ❨26❩ ❛ How I wish you were fear. ❜ ❨27❩ ❛ But it was a dreadful kind of curiosity, the kind that makes you peek through your fingers during the scariest parts of a scary movie. ❜ ❨28❩ ❛ All we have is time, you know. An eternity of time. Or shall we end it? Might as well. After all, we're missing the party. ❜ ❨29❩ ❛ We all remember our pleasant dreams more clearly than the scary ones. ❜ ❨30❩ ❛ The way things should be and the way things are hardly ever get together. ❜ ❨31❩ ❛ Got to be regular if you want to be happy. ❜ ❨32❩ ❛ But in a solitary life, there are rare moments when another soul dips near yours, as stars once a year brush the earth. ❜ ❨33❩ ❛ He showed me his scars, and in return he let me pretend that I had none. ❜ ❨34❩ ❛ Humbling women seems to me a chief pastime of poets. As if there can be no story unless we crawl and weep. ❜ ❨35❩ ❛ It is a common saying that women are delicate creatures, flowers, eggs, anything that may be crushed in a moment's carelessness. ❜ ❨36❩ ❛ If I had ever believed it, I no longer do. ❜ ❨37❩ ❛ I thought once that gods are the opposite of death, but I see now they are more dead than anything, for they are unchanging, and can hold nothing in their hands. ❜ ❨38❩ ❛ I cannot bear this world a moment longer. ❜ ❨39❩ ❛ I have a better idea. I will do as I please. ❜ ❨40❩ ❛ All my life has been murk and depths, but I am not a part of that dark water. I am a creature within it. ❜ ❨41❩ ❛ You cannot know how frightened gods are of pain. There is nothing more foreign to them, and so nothing they ache more deeply to see. ❜ ❨42❩ ❛ When we are young, we think ourselves the first to have each feeling in the world. ❜ ❨43❩ ❛ When I was born, the word for what I was did not exist. ❜ ❨44❩ ❛ But perhaps no parent can truly see their child. When we look we see only the mirror of our own faults. ❜ ❨45❩ ❛ I will not be like a bird bred in a cage, too dull to fly even when the door stands open. ❜ ❨46❩ ❛ This is what it means to swim in the tide, to walk the earth and feel it touch your feet. This is what it means to be alive. ❜ ❨47❩ ❛ You threw me to the crows, but it turns out I prefer them to you. ❜ ❨48❩ ❛ Yet because I knew nothing, nothing was beneath me. ❜ ❨49❩ ❛ If now I am wise, it is only because I have been fool enough for a hundred lifetimes. ❜ ❨50❩ ❛ You can teach a viper to eat from your hands, but you cannot take away how much it likes to bite. ❜ ❨51❩ ❛ Give me the blade. Some things are worth spilling blood for. ❜ ❨52❩ ❛ I have been old and stern for so long, carved with regrets and years like a monolith. But that is only a shape I’ve been poured into. I do not have to keep it. ❜ ❨53❩ ❛ I wake sometimes in the dark terrified by my life's precariousness, its thready breath. ❜ ❨54❩ ❛ Understanding the world is a matter of keeping very still and showing no emotions, leaving room for others to reveal themselves. ❜ ❨55❩ ❛ Beneath the smooth, familiar face of things is another that waits to tear the world in two. ❜ ❨56❩ ❛ The truth is, men make terrible pigs. ❜ ❨57❩ ❛ My father has never been able to imagine the world without himself in it. ❜ ❨58❩ ❛ This is the grief that makes our kind choose to be stones and trees rather than flesh. ❜ ❨59❩ ❛ Witches are not so delicate. ❜ ❨60❩ ❛ Those who fight against prophecy only draw it more tightly around their throats. ❜ ❨61❩ ❛ I learned that I could bend the world to my will, as a bow is bent for an arrow. I would have done that toil a thousand times to keep such power in my hands. ❜ ❨62❩ ❛ There's the story, then there's the real story, then there's the story of how the story came to be told. Then there's what you leave out of the story. Which is part of the story too. ❜ ❨63❩ ❛ The best way of being kind to bears is not to be very close to them. ❜ ❨64❩ ❛ Life is warped. I'm just in sync. ❜ ❨65❩ ❛ Now it's a whisper from the past. ❜ ❨66❩ ❛ But hatred and viciousness are addictive. You can get high on them. Once you've had a little, you start shaking if you don't get more. ❜ ❨67❩ ❛ Why is it always such a surprise? The moon. Even though we know it's coming. Every time we see it, it makes us pause, and hush. ❜ ❨68❩ ❛ Perfection exacts a price, but it's the imperfect who pay it. ❜ ❨69❩ ❛ What is 'belief' but a willingness to suspend the negatives? ❜ ❨70❩ ❛ I have scars, inside me. ❜ ❨71❩ ❛ The dead are not entirely dead but are alive in a different way; a paler way admittedly, and somewhat darker. ❜ ❨72❩ ❛ However dark, a darkness with voices in it is better than a silent void. ❜ ❨73❩ ❛ Amazing how quickly the past becomes idyllic. ❜ ❨74❩ ❛ It is another way of saying tough luck. To people you aren’t going to help out. ❜ ❨75❩ ❛ I'm waiting, far off in the future. ❜ ❨76❩ ❛ The only sure camouflage is unpredictability. ❜ ❨77❩ ❛ There are so many of them, and each one of them is doing part of the killing, whether they know it or not. ❜ ❨78❩ ❛ First rule: limit bloodshed by making sure that none of your own gets spilled. ❜ ❨79❩ ❛ I long to swim in liquid moonlight. ❜ ❨80❩ ❛ That's right, I don’t like to be summoned on trivial matters. ❜ ❨81❩ ❛ The part that really made me happy was that you wanted me to be happy. ❜ ❨82❩ ❛ Cut that part out of us: the grinning, elemental malice. Begin us anew. ❜ ❨83❩ ❛ Where there are wars, there will be crows, the carrion-fanciers. And ravens too, the warbirds, the eyeball gourmands. And vultures, the holy birds of yore, old connoisseurs of rot. ❜ ❨84❩ ❛ At last. It's you. ❜ ❨85❩ ❛ No, you will not be cooked on a fire when you die. Because you are not a fish. ❜ ❨86❩ ❛ Take what the moment offers. Don’t close doors. Be thankful. ❜ ❨87❩ ❛ How many others have stood in this place? Left behind, with all gone, all swept away. ❜ ❨88❩ ❛ Is it disapproval or extreme lust? With some men it’s hard to tell the difference. ❜ ❨89❩ ❛ My hair was driving me crazy, but then … I died. ❜ ❨90❩ ❛ Seek and ye shall find, eventually. And you found. You’re right, I don’t dispute that. Sorry. ❜ ❨91❩ ❛ Everything digests, and is digested. ❜ ❨92❩ ❛ My head was once a filing cabinet. Now it’s a flurry of papers, floating on a draft. ❜ ❨93❩ ❛ You cannot keep bumping your head against reality and saying it is not there. ❜ ❨94❩ ❛ I have a feeling that inside you somewhere, there’s something nobody knows about. ❜ ❨95❩ ❛ And if I don’t want to die, I’ve got to start living. ❜ ❨96❩ ❛ The world is a beautiful place. Don’t forget that. And don’t miss it. ❜ ❨97❩ ❛ I was fighting for my life. So I must not want to die. ❜ ❨98❩ ❛ Something’s happening to me, through me, something dangerous and new. ❜ ❨99❩ ❛ It’s taken root, a poison tree; it’s grown, fanning out, vines winding round my gut, my lungs, my heart. ❜ ❨100❩ ❛ We’re interpreters. We’re translators. ❜ ❨101❩ ❛ You’ll notice I’m not asking what made you this way. ❜ ❨102❩ ❛ No family, happy or unhappy, is quite like any other. Tolstoy was chock-fullo’shit. Remember that. ❜ ❨103❩ ❛ We lived in monochrome those nights. ❜ ❨104❩ ❛ You live in a dream. You’re a sleepwalker, blind. How do you know what the world is like? ❜ ❨105❩ ❛ Do you know, if you rip off the fronts of houses, you’d find swine? ❜ ❨106❩ ❛ I stand here in the dark: cold, utterly alone, full of fear and something that feels like longing. ❜ ❨107❩ ❛ The definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results. ❜ ❨108❩ ❛ Not to warm the flesh, but solely to please the eye. ❜ ❨109❩ ❛ Selective emotional detachment. ❜ ❨110❩ ❛ Not for me, or at least not today. ❜ ❨111❩ ❛ Dead but not gone, watching life surge forward around me, powerless to intervene. ❜ ❨112❩ ❛ Do I sound like a hillbilly saying that? ❜ ❨113❩ ❛ Remember, you’ve got your secret weapon. ❜ ❨114❩ ❛ The dream drains away like water. The memory, really. I try to scoop it up in my palms, but it’s gone. ❜ ❨115❩ ❛ My shadow stretches along the carpet, as though trying to detach itself from me. ❜ ❨116❩ ❛ It curls away from me, like blood in water. ❜ ❨117❩ ❛ It’s been so long since I felt the rain. Or wind—the caress of wind. ❜ ❨118❩ ❛ But snow I never want to feel again. ❜ ❨119❩ ❛ Through adversity to the stars. ❜ ❨120❩ ❛ No hero. No sleuth. I am locked in. I am locked out. ❜ ❨121❩ ❛ Thinking hasn't gotten me anywhere so far. ❜ ❨122❩ ❛ The face you give the world tells the world how to treat you. ❜ ❨123❩ ❛ Sometimes I think illness sits inside every woman, waiting for the right moment to bloom. ❜ ❨124❩ ❛ Women get consumed. ❜ ❨125❩ ❛ Sometimes if you let people do things to you, you're really doing it to them. ❜ ❨126❩ ❛ A child weaned on poison considers harm a comfort. ❜ ❨127❩ ❛ Safer to be feared than loved. ❜ ❨128❩ ❛ I ached once, hard, like a period typed at the end of a sentence. ❜ ❨129❩ ❛ It's impossible to compete with the dead. I wish I could stop trying. ❜ ❨130❩ ❛ I always feel sad for the girl that I was. ❜ ❨131❩ ❛ Every time people said I was pretty, I thought of everything ugly swarming beneath my clothes. ❜ ❨132❩ ❛ How do you keep safe when your whole day is as wide and empty as the sky? Anything could happen. ❜ ❨133❩ ❛ See, there I am. I told you I lived. I told you I was. ❜ ❨134❩ ❛ Sometimes I think I won't ever feel safe until I can count my last days on one hand. ❜ ❨135❩ ❛ To refuse has so many more consequences than submitting. ❜ ❨136❩ ❛ I'm here. I don't usually feel that I am. ❜ ❨137❩ ❛ I'm tired of dying. ❜ ❨138❩ ❛ What if you hurt because it feels so good? ❜ ❨139❩ ❛ How confusing to live in the shadow of a shadow. ❜ ❨140❩ ❛ Do you ever feel like bad things are going to happen, and you can’t stop them? You can’t do anything, you just have to wait? ❜ ❨141❩ ❛ Sometimes my scars have a mind of their own. ❜ ❨142❩ ❛ Everyone has their own version of a memory. ❜ ❨143❩ ❛ Isn’t a smile a girl’s best weapon? ❜ ❨144❩ ❛ My sense of weightlessness, I think, comes from the fact that I know so little about my past. ❜ ❨145❩ ❛ Do what I want; I might like you. ❜ ❨146❩ ❛ I feel sorry for Persephone because even when she’s back with the living, people are afraid of her because of where’s she’s been. ❜ ❨147❩ ❛ She has never told me she loved me, and I never assumed she did. ❜ ❨148❩ ❛ The sight of it actually does something to you, makes you less human. ❜ ❨149❩ ❛ It infects you. It ruined me. ❜ ❨150❩ ❛ Your health is not a debt you just cancel. The body collects. ❜ ❨151❩ ❛ Men love to put things inside women, don’t they? ❜ ❨152❩ ❛ We can know only that we know nothing. And that is the highest degree of human wisdom. ❜ ❨153❩ ❛ Nothing is so necessary for a young man as the company of intelligent women. ❜ ❨154❩ ❛ The strongest of all warriors are these two — time and patience. ❜ ❨155❩ ❛ If everyone fought for their own convictions there would be no war. ❜ ❨156❩ ❛ There is no greatness where there is not simplicity, goodness, and truth. ❜ ❨157❩ ❛ The whole world is divided for me into two parts: one is she, and there is all happiness, hope, light; the other is where she is not, and there is dejection and darkness. ❜ ❨158❩ ❛ Let the dead bury the dead, but while I'm alive, I must live and be happy. ❜ ❨159❩ ❛ It's not given to people to judge what's right or wrong. People have eternally been mistaken and will be mistaken, and in nothing more than in what they consider right and wrong. ❜ ❨160❩ ❛ You can love a person dear to you with a human love, but an enemy can only be loved with divine love. ❜ ❨161❩ ❛ If we admit that human life can be ruled by reason, then all possibility of life is destroyed. ❜ ❨162❩ ❛ We are asleep until we fall in love! ❜ ❨163❩ ❛ I simply want to live; to cause no evil to anyone but myself. ❜ ❨164❩ ❛ Everything I know, I know because of love. ❜ ❨165❩ ❛ Man cannot possess anything as long as he fears death. But to him who does not fear it, everything belongs. ❜ ❨166❩ ❛ If there was no suffering, man would not know his limits, would not know himself. ❜ ❨167❩ ❛ Yes, love, but not the love that loves for something, to gain something, or because of something, but that love that I felt for the first time, when dying, I saw my enemy and yet loved him. ❜ ❨168❩ ❛ How can one be well...when one suffers morally? ❜ ❨169❩ ❛ Kings are the slaves of history. ❜ ❨170❩ ❛ God is the same everywhere. ❜ ❨171❩ ❛ Pure and complete sorrow is as impossible as pure and complete joy. ❜ ❨172❩ ❛ One must be cunning and wicked in this world. ❜ ❨173❩ ❛ We love people not so much for the good they've done us, as for the good we've done them. ❜ ❨174❩ ❛ When one's head is gone one doesn't weep over one's hair! ❜ ❨175❩ ❛ For what, for whom, must I kill and be killed? ❜ ❨176❩ ❛ He did what heroes do after their work is accomplished; he died. ❜ ❨177❩ ❛ Life is too long to say anything definitely; always say perhaps. ❜ ❨178❩ ❛ Everything ends in death, everything. Death is terrible. ❜ ❨179❩ ❛ The distant and impossible suddenly became near, possible, and inevitable. ❜ ❨180❩ ❛ How often we sin, how much we deceive, and all for what? ❜ ❨181❩ ❛ The wolves should be fed and the sheep kept safe. ❜ ❨182❩ ❛ When I was a child, adults would tell me not to make things up, warning me of what would happen if I did. ❜ ❨183❩ ❛ My memory is a patchwork of occurrences, of discontinuous events roughly sewn together: the parts I remember, I remember precisely, whilst other sections seem to have vanished completely. ❜ ❨184❩ ❛ Would it be worse to love someone who is no longer there, or not to love someone who is? ❜ ❨185❩ ❛ Like mirrors stories prepare us for the day to come. They distract us from the things in darkness. ❜ ❨186❩ ❛ It is not that I was credulous, simply that I believed in all things dark and dangerous. ❜ ❨187❩ ❛ Sometimes you do things you regret, but there's nothing you can do about them. Times change. Doors close behind you. You move on. ❜ ❨188❩ ❛ Love will be an impulse that will inspire and ruin in equal measure. ❜ ❨189❩ ❛ He died alone. It don't matter a rat's ass whether there was anyone with him or not. He died alone. ❜ ❨190❩ ❛ It was love, I knew, and it tasted like champagne in my mind. ❜ ❨191❩ ❛ The end of the world is a strange concept. The world is always ending, and the end is always being averted, by love or foolishness or just plain old dumb luck. ❜ ❨192❩ ❛ She was my dream; and if you touch a dream it vanishes, like a soap bubble. ❜ ❨193❩ ❛ Daylight is always safe. ❜ ❨194❩ ❛ If not for death, they'd be content to simply exist, but with death, well, their lives will have meaning. ❜ ❨195❩ ❛ You want to know the future, love? Then wait. ❜ ❨196❩ ❛ There are things in the darkness beneath us that wish us harm. ❜ ❨197❩ ❛ Fairy tales are more than true. Not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be defeated ❜ ❨198❩ ❛ But sometimes you leave blood on your instruments. ❜ ❨199❩ ❛ I'd like to be a wolf. Not all the time. Just sometimes. In the dark. I would run through the forests. ❜ ❨200❩ ❛ You've seen them. They have mouths that twitch, and eyes that stare, and they babble and they mewl and they whimper. ❜ ❨201❩ ❛ They are not mad, or rather, the loss of their sanity is the lesser of their problems. ❜ ❨202❩ ❛ Good a reason for writing as I know: releasing demons, letting them fly. ❜ ❨203❩ ❛ That miserable state in which everything seems flat and of equal importance; when nothing matters, and in which reality seems scraped thin and threadbare. ❜ ❨204❩ ❛ Someone had scrawled graffiti in black marker on the metal: JUST DIE, it said. Like it is easy. ❜ ❨205❩ ❛ Winter started today. The sky turned grey and the snow began to fall and it did not stop falling until well after dark. ❜ ❨206❩ ❛ Memory is the great deceiver. ❜ ❨207❩ ❛ Silly things do cease to be silly if they are done by sensible people in an impudent way. ❜ ❨208❩ ❛ I may have lost my heart, but not my self-control. ❜ ❨209❩ ❛ If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. ❜ ❨210❩ ❛ I always deserve the best treatment because I never put up with any other. ❜ ❨211❩ ❛ But you know what I am. You hear nothing but truth from me. ❜ ❨212❩ ❛ I have blamed you, and lectured you, and you have borne it as no other would have borne it. ❜ ❨213❩ ❛ There are people, who the more you do for them, the less they will do for themselves. ❜ ❨214❩ ❛ One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other. ❜ ❨215❩ ❛ Better be without sense than misapply it as you do. ❜ ❨216❩ ❛ You must be the best judge of your own happiness. ❜ ❨217❩ ❛ Were I to fall in love, indeed, it would be a different thing ; but I have never been in love ; it is not my way, or my nature ; and I do not think I ever shall. ❜ ❨218❩ ❛ Indeed, I am very sorry to be right in this instance. I would much rather have been merry than wise. ❜ ❨219❩ ❛ If I have not spoken, it is because I am afraid I will awaken myself from this dream. ❜ ❨220❩ ❛ If a woman doubts as to whether she should accept a man or not, she certainly ought to refuse him. ❜ ❨221❩ ❛ Faultless in spite of all her faults. ❜ ❨222❩ ❛ A heroine whom no one but myself will much like. ❜ ❨223❩ ❛ There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart. ❜ ❨224❩ ❛ Full many a flower is born to blush unseen, and waste its fragrance on the desert air. ❜ ❨225❩ ❛ I pity you. I thought you cleverer. ❜ ❨226❩ ❛ Evil to some is always good to others. ❜ ❨227❩ ❛ I certainly will not persuade myself to feel more than I do. ❜ ❨228❩ ❛ She is loveliness itself. ❜ ❨229❩ ❛ Time does not compose me. ❜ ❨230❩ ❛ A man always imagines a woman to be ready for anybody who asks her. ❜ ❨231❩ ❛ I do not find myself making any use of the word sacrifice. ❜ ❨232❩ ❛ I am quite enough in love. I should be sorry to be any more. ❜ ❨233❩ ❛ I must tell you what you will not ask, though I may wish it unsaid the next moment. ❜ ❨234❩ ❛ I examined my own heart. And there you were. Never, I fear, to be removed. ❜ ❨235❩ ❛ With all your little faults, you are an excellent creature. ❜ ❨236❩ ❛ You have another long walk before you. ❜ ❨237❩ ❛ The child's laughter is pure until he first laughs at a clown. ❜ ❨238❩ ❛ What is marriage but prostitution to one man instead of many? ❜ ❨239❩ ❛ Out of the frying pan into the fire! ❜ ❨240❩ ❛ We must all make do with the rags of love we find flapping on the scarecrow of humanity. ❜ ❨241❩ ❛ She sleeps. And now she wakes each day a little less. ❜ ❨242❩ ❛ And, oh, God . . . how frequently I weep! ❜ ❨243❩ ❛ From the coffin of your madness there is no escape. ❜ ❨244❩ ❛ I am feeling supernatural tonight. I want to eat diamonds. ❜ ❨245❩ ❛ All the same there is a chance that if we keep on shaking our chains, one day, some day, the clasps upon the shackles will part. ❜ ❨246❩ ❛ It was sad music fit to make you cut your throat. ❜ ❨247❩ ❛ Nothing is more boring than being forced to play. ❜ ❨248❩ ❛ Amongst the monsters, I am well hidden; who looks for a leaf in a forest? ❜ ❨249❩ ❛ Wherein does a woman’s honour reside? In her vagina or in her spirit? ❜ ❨250❩ ❛ Perhaps...I could not be content with mere contentment! ❜ ❨251❩ ❛ Have you ever stared stark failure in the face? The trick is to outstare it. ❜ ❨252❩ ❛ Sometimes it seems that the faces exist of themselves, in a disembodied somewhere, waiting for the one who will wear them, who will bring them to life. ❜ ❨253❩ ❛ I have the febrile gaiety of a being without a past, without a present, yet I exist. ❜ ❨254❩ ❛ I felt myself turning, willy-nilly, from a woman into an idea. ❜ ❨255❩ ❛ She looks wonderful, but she doesn't look right. ❜ ❨256❩ ❛ The one-eyed man will be King in the country of the blind. ❜ ❨257❩ ❛ I raised you up to fly to the heavens, not to brood over a clutch of eggs! ❜ ❨258❩ ❛ I love to hear my bones rattle. That’s how I know I’m alive. ❜ ❨259❩ ❛ I learnt, first, as the birds do, from the birds. ❜ ❨260❩ ❛ Inside and outside match exactly, but both are badly wrong. ❜ ❨261❩ ❛ During the less-than-blink of time it took the last chime to die, there came a vertiginous sensation. ❜ ❨262❩ ❛ I fear a wound not of the body but the soul, an irreconcilable division between myself and the rest of humankind. ❜ ❨263❩ ❛ I fear the proof of my own singularity. ❜ ❨264❩ ❛ Still nothing could calm the fearful storm in my erupting skin. ❜ ❨265❩ ❛ Petersburg, loveliest of all hallucinations. ❜ ❨266❩ ❛ A breathless second between black forest and the frozen sea. ❜ ❨267❩ ❛ I'm beginning to feel totally cut off from the world. ❜ ❨268❩ ❛ What does this all mean? Where are we? ❜ ❨269❩ ❛ Sometimes I bleed. ❜ ❨270❩ ❛ If you see a ghost, you say "hello". ❜ ❨271❩ ❛ The war is not over. ❜ ❨272❩ ❛ You're not going. You left us once already. ❜ ❨273❩ ❛ You can’t go! ❜ ❨274❩ ❛ I loved you, but that wasn't enough, was it? ❜ ❨275❩ ❛ If you're dead, then leave me in peace. ❜ ❨276❩ ❛ The only thing that moves here is the light, but it changes everything. ❜ ❨277❩ ❛ I won't ask for forgiveness for something I didn't do! ❜ ❨278❩ ❛ Sometimes the world of the living gets mixed up with the world of the dead. ❜ ❨279❩ ❛ Death of a loved one can lead people to do the strangest things. ❜ ❨280❩ ❛ Sooner or later, they will find you. ❜ ❨281❩ ❛ They're everywhere - they say this house is theirs. ❜ ❨282❩ ❛ You're always teasing me, and telling lies. I'm sick of it. ❜ ❨283❩ ❛ Others will come. Sometimes we'll sense them. Other times, we won't. ❜ ❨284❩ ❛ No crying now. No crying. Stop that. Here. Look what an awful face you've got when you cry. ❜ ❨285❩ ❛ You listen to me. I've seen them too. ❜ ❨286❩ ❛ You'll see. There are going to be some big surprises. There are going to be... changes. ❜ ❨287❩ ❛ Why did you go and fight that stupid war that had nothing to do with us? Why didn't you stay like the others did? ❜ ❨288❩ ❛ Your place was here with your family. ❜ ❨289❩ ❛ So you say you know this house well? ❜ ❨290❩ ❛ I wasn't expecting you so soon. ❜ ❨291❩ ❛ What's the matter? Has the cat got your tongue? ❜ ❨292❩ ❛ You mean they just vanished? Into thin air? ❜ ❨293❩ ❛ No door must be opened without the previous one being closed first. ❜ ❨294❩ ❛ Here, most of the time, you can hardly see your way. ❜ ❨295❩ ❛ Whatever you do, don't open the curtains. ❜ ❨296❩ ❛ Now, come on. Eyes closed. ❜ ❨297❩ ❛ We start off with high hopes, then we bottle it. We realise that we’re all going to die, without really finding out the big answers. ❜ ❨298❩ ❛ By definition, you have to live until you die. Better to make that life as complete and enjoyable an experience as possible, in case death is shite, which I suspect it will be. ❜ ❨299❩ ❛ I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin’ else. ❜ ❨300❩ ❛ And the reasons? There are no reasons. ❜ ❨301❩ ❛ Love does not exist, it's like religion, made to control you. ❜ ❨302❩ ❛ After all, we're not fucking stupid. At least, we're not that fucking stupid. ❜ ❨303❩ ❛ You fucking knew that fucking cunt would fuck some cunt. ❜ ❨304❩ ❛ Everything in the street today seems soft focus. ❜ ❨305❩ ❛ What does that make us? The lowest of the low. ❜ ❨306❩ ❛ Take your best orgasm, multiply the feeling by twenty, and you're still fuckin’ miles off the pace. ❜ ❨307❩ ❛ It’s as if everything is a copy of what you knew before, similar, yet somehow lacking in its usual qualities, a bit like the way things are in a dream. ❜ ❨308❩ ❛ It’s all okay, it’s all beautiful; but I fear that this internal sea is going to subside soon, leaving this poisonous shite washed up, stranded up in my body. ❜ ❨309❩ ❛ It cuts me up. It confuses me. ❜ ❨310❩ ❛ It's not funny laughter. This is lynch mob laughter. ❜ ❨311❩ ❛ Protect me from those who wish to help us. ❜ ❨312❩ ❛ They mean well, and they mean well to me, but there's no way under the sun that they can appreciate what I feel, what I need. ❜ ❨313❩ ❛ The pit of melancholy is a bottomless one, and I am descending fast. ❜ ❨314❩ ❛ Living like this is a full-time business. ❜ ❨315❩ ❛ I’ll stand or fall alone. ❜ ❨316❩ ❛ We are no wiser now than at the start. ❜ ❨317❩ ❛ This is pathetic, and fucking boring. ❜ ❨318❩ ❛ Death is usually a process, rather than an event. ❜ ❨319❩ ❛ We're ruled by effete arseholes. What does that make us? ❜ ❨320❩ ❛ We are all acquaintances now. ❜ ❨321❩ ❛ The problem is that this beautiful ocean carries with it loads of poisonous flotsam and jetsam. ❜ ❨322❩ ❛ Life is beautiful. I'm going to enjoy it, and I'm going to have a long life. ❜ ❨323❩ ❛ The grim reality of impending death can be talked away by trying to invest in the present reality of life. ❜ ❨324❩ ❛ There must be more to life than this. ❜ ❨325❩ ❛ We all see what we want to see. ❜ ❨326❩ ❛ Statistically speaking, you're more likely to be killed by a member of your own family or a close friend, than by anyone else. ❜ ❨327❩ ❛ What am I living for and what am I dying for are the same question. ❜ ❨328❩ ❛ Maybe that's what love is: it's being pissed off. ❜ ❨329❩ ❛ You can forget who you are if you're alone too much. ❜ ❨330❩ ❛ Any religion is a shadow of God. But the shadows of God are not God. ❜ ❨331❩ ❛ Human understanding is fallible, and we see through a glass, darkly. ❜ ❨332❩ ❛ We must be a beacon of hope, because if you tell people there's nothing they can do, they will do worse than nothing. ❜ ❨333❩ ❛ Everyone wants to feel like a princess, and princesses are selfish and overbearing. ❜ ❨334❩ ❛ We shouldn't have been so scornful; we should have had compassion. But compassion takes work, and we were young. ❜ ❨335❩ ❛ How easy it is, treachery. You just slide into it. ❜ ❨336❩ ❛ Amazing how the heart clutches at anything familiar, whimpering: Mine! Mine! ❜ ❨337❩ ❛ All creatures know that some must die ; that all the rest may take and eat. ❜ ❨338❩ ❛ Is this the image of a god? My tooth for yours, your eye for mine? ❜ ❨339❩ ❛ Without the light, no chance; without the dark, no dance. ❜ ❨340❩ ❛ Why are we designed to see the world as supremely beautiful just as we're about to be snuffed? Do rabbits feel the same as the fox teeth bite down on their necks? Is it mercy? ❜ ❨341❩ ❛ Love is useless, it leads you into dumb exchanges in which you give too much away, and then you get bitter and mean. ❜ ❨342❩ ❛ Maybe sadness is a kind of hunger. Maybe the two go together. ❜ ❨343❩ ❛ Now I can see how that can happen. You can fall in love with anybody -- a fool, a criminal, a nothing. There are no good rules. ❜ ❨344❩ ❛ If you really want to stay the same age you are now forever and ever, try jumping off the roof: death's a sure-fire method for stopping time. ❜ ❨345❩ ❛ You couldn’t leave words lying around where our enemies might find them. ❜ ❨346❩ ❛ I'm fine, for the moment. And the moment is the only time we can be fine in. ❜ ❨347❩ ❛ Because if you can't wish, why bother? ❜ ❨348❩ ❛ It's better to hope than mope! ❜ ❨349❩ ❛ Reality has too much darkness in it. Too many crows. ❜ ❨350❩ ❛ In any case, time is not a thing that passes, it’s a sea on which you float. ❜ ❨351❩ ❛ I know I’m deceiving myself, but I prefer to deceive myself. I desperately need to believe such pure joy is still possible. ❜ ❨352❩ ❛ Too much God and you overdose. God needs to be filtered. ❜ ❨353❩ ❛ Behind my eyelids I saw an animal. It was golden colour, with gentle green eyes and canine teeth, and curly wool instead of fur. It opened its mouth, but it did not speak. Instead, it yawned. ❜ ❨354❩ ❛ ‘Why can't I believe?’ I asked the darkness. ❜ ❨355❩ ❛ Everyone’s too sad for everything. ❜ ❨356❩ ❛ If you can’t stop the waves, go sailing. ❜ ❨357❩ ❛ I would like to be the air that inhabits you for a moment only. I would like to be that unnoticed and that necessary. ❜ ❨358❩ ❛ Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them. ❜ ❨359❩ ❛ In the end, we'll all become stories. ❜ ❨360❩ ❛ I am inadequate and stupid, without worth. I might as well be dead. ❜ ❨361❩ ❛ If you knew what was going to happen, if you knew everything that was going to happen next—if you knew in advance the consequences of your own actions—you'd be doomed. You'd be ruined as God. ❜ ❨362❩ ❛ If you can't go through an obstacle, go around it. ❜ ❨363❩ ❛ Stupidity is the same as evil if you judge by the results. ❜ ❨364❩ ❛ Time in dreams is frozen. You can never get away from where you've been. ❜ ❨365❩ ❛ Male fantasies, male fantasies, is everything run by male fantasies? ❜ ❨366❩ ❛ We still think of a powerful man as a born leader and a powerful woman as an anomaly. ❜ ❨367❩ ❛ If I love you, is that a fact or a weapon? ❜ ❨368❩ ❛ You fit into me like a hook into an eye. ❜ ❨369❩ ❛ Knowing too much about other people puts you in their power, they have a claim on you, you are forced to understand their reasons for doing things and then you are weakened. ❜ ❨370❩ ❛ Farewells can be shattering, but returns are surely worse. ❜ ❨371❩ ❛ Women have curious ways of hurting someone else. ❜ ❨372❩ ❛ This is the one song everyone would like to learn: the song that is irresistible: the song that forces men to leap overboard in squadrons. ❜ ❨373❩ ❛ Get rid of death. Make it be spring. ❜ ❨374❩ ❛ You are innocent as a bathtub full of bullets. ❜ ❨375❩ ❛ I am the space you desecrate as you pass through. ❜ ❨376❩ ❛ Favour me and give me riches, destroy my enemies. Save me from death. ❜ ❨377❩ ❛ She is a raw voice loose in the rooms beneath me. ❜ ❨378❩ ❛ Isn't the moon warm enough for you, why do you need the blanket of another body? ❜ ❨379❩ ❛ This is a torch song. Touch me and you'll burn. ❜ ❨380❩ ❛ If you look long enough eventually you will see me. ❜ ❨381❩ ❛ I would like to sleep with you, to enter your sleep as its smooth dark wave slides over my head. ❜ ❨382❩ ❛ I would like to give you the silver branch, the small white flower, the one word that will protect you from the grief. ❜ ❨383❩ ❛ But some people can't tell where it hurts. They can't calm down. They can't ever stop howling. ❜ ❨384❩ ❛ How else can we live, these days, except in the midst of ruin? ❜ ❨385❩ ❛ What am I living for and what am I dying for are the same question. ❜ ❨386❩ ❛ Gods always come in handy, they justify almost anything. ❜ ❨387❩ ❛ We loved with a love that was more than love. ❜ ❨388❩ ❛ Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before. ❜ ❨389❩ ❛ The boundaries which divide life from death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where the one ends, and where the other begins? ❜ ❨390❩ ❛ There is no exquisite beauty without some strangeness in the proportion. ❜ ❨391❩ ❛ Never to suffer would never to have been blessed. ❜ ❨392❩ ❛ Believe only half of what you see and nothing that you hear. ❜ ❨393❩ ❛ And all I loved, I loved alone. ❜ ❨394❩ ❛ Years of love have been forgot, in the hatred of a minute. ❜ ❨395❩ ❛ The best things in life make you sweaty. ❜ ❨396❩ ❛ There are some secrets which do not permit themselves to be told. ❜ ❨397❩ ❛ Anything is better than this agony. ❜ ❨398❩ ❛ You fancy me mad. ❜ ❨399❩ ❛ I hear all things in the heaven and in the earth. ❜ ❨400❩ ❛ Who dares insult us with this blasphemous mockery? ❜ ❨401❩ ❛ Leave my loneliness unbroken! ❜ ❨402❩ ❛ A more than fiendish malevolence, gin-nurtured, thrills every fibre of my frame. ❜ ❨403❩ ❛ The fury of a demon instantly possessed me. I knew myself no longer. ❜ ❨404❩ ❛ Let my heart be still a moment. ❜ ❨405❩ ❛ You call it hope — It is but agony of desire. ❜ ❨406❩ ❛ Who has not, a hundred times, found himself committing a vile or silly action for no other reason than because he knows he should not? ❜ ❨407❩ ❛ To die laughing must be the most glorious of all glorious deaths! ❜ ❨408❩ ❛ The beating of a drum stimulates the soldier into courage. ❜ ❨409❩ ❛ Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practise to deceive. ❜ ❨410❩ ❛ I have been happy, though in a dream. ❜ ❨411❩ ❛ Nevermore. ❜ ❨412❩ ❛ The truth is, I am heartily sick of this life. ❜ ❨413❩ ❛ I am convinced that every thing is going wrong. ❜ ❨414❩ ❛ The scariest monsters are the ones that lurk within our souls. ❜ ❨415❩ ❛ And if I died, at least I will have died for you! ❜ ❨416❩ ❛ It is impossible to say how first the idea entered my brain; but once conceived, it haunted me day and night. ❜ ❨417❩ ❛ Hurt and humiliation — But this, I can not take. ❜ ❨418❩ ❛ The walls in there have ears. ❜ ❨419❩ ❛ This is for your ears only. ❜ ❨420❩ ❛ What is it? You have me scared. ❜ ❨421❩ ❛ Whoever isn’t for us, is against us. ❜ ❨422❩ ❛ You are just a body; to be dumped, disposed of like a carcass, left out for the birds to feed on. ❜ ❨423❩ ❛ The dead will have to forgive me. ❜ ❨424❩ ❛ From now on and no matter how your mind may I change, I will not accept your help. ❜ ❨425❩ ❛ If death comes, so be it. There will be glory in it. ❜ ❨426❩ ❛ Live, then; and live with your choice. ❜ ❨427❩ ❛ I am doing what has to be done. ❜ ❨428❩ ❛ Nothing is going to stop the ones that love you from keeping on loving you. ❜ ❨429❩ ❛ Worst is the man who has all the good advice, and then because his nerve fails, fails to act in accordance with it, as a leader should. ❜ ❨430❩ ❛ Only a loony would walk himself into this. ❜ ❨431❩ ❛ Why do you need such fences and defences? ❜ ❨432❩ ❛ Enough. Do not anger me. ❜ ❨433❩ ❛ The gods, you think, will side with the likes of him? ❜ ❨434❩ ❛ Watch it. You are over stepping. ❜ ❨435❩ ❛ I warn you. You should keep a civil tongue. ❜ ❨436❩ ❛ There is no such thing as an oath the can not be broken. ❜ ❨437❩ ❛ Every now and then, the things you’d hardly let yourself imagine, actually happen. ❜ ❨438❩ ❛ And you stand over this? This is the truth? ❜ ❨439❩ ❛ The bigger the resistance, the bigger the collapse. ❜ ❨440❩ ❛ Iron that’s forged the hardest, snaps the quickest. ❜ ❨441❩ ❛ Even the wildest horses come to heel when they are reined & bitted right. ❜ ❨442❩ ❛ That’s how guilt affects some people. They break and everything comes out. ❜ ❨443❩ ❛ Will it be enough for you? To see me executed? ❜ ❨444❩ ❛ So you know something no one else knows? ❜ ❨445❩ ❛ They know it too. They are just too afraid to say it. ❜ ❨446❩ ❛ If you die, how will I keep on living? ❜ ❨447❩ ❛ There was a star riding through clouds one night, & I said to the star, 'Consume me'. ❜ ❨448❩ ❛ How much better to sit by myself like the solitary sea-bird that opens its wings on the stake. ❜ ❨449❩ ❛ Alone, I often fall down into nothingness. I have to bang my head against some hard door to call myself back to the body. ❜ ❨450❩ ❛ I am made and remade continually. Different people draw different words from me. ❜ ❨451❩ ❛ For this moment, this one moment, we are together. ❜ ❨452❩ ❛ Come, pain, feed on me. Bury your fangs in my flesh. Tear me asunder. ❜ ❨453❩ ❛ I am as neat as a cat in my habits. ❜ ❨454❩ ❛ Everything falls in a tremendous shower, dissolving me. ❜ ❨455❩ ❛ I am the foam that sweeps and fills the uttermost rims of the rocks with whiteness; I am also a girl, here in this room. ❜ ❨456❩ ❛ We are cut, we are fallen. We are become part of that unfeeling universe ❨457❩ that sleeps when we are at our quickest and burns red when we lie ❨458❩ asleep. ❜ ❨459❩ ❛ These moments of escape are not to be despised. They come too seldom. ❜ ❨460❩ ❛ Up here my eyes are green leaves, unseeing. ❜ ❨461❩ ❛ The moment is all; the moment is enough. ❜ ❨462❩ ❛ I do not want to be admired. I want to give, to be given. ❜ ❨463❩ ❛ I am not one and simple, but complex and many. ❜ ❨464❩ ❛ And if you are dead, I shall weep. ❜ ❨465❩ ❛ But beauty must be broken daily to remain beautiful. ❜ ❨466❩ ❛ But our hatred is almost indistinguishable from our love. ❜ ❨467❩ ❛ I desired always to stretch the night and fill it fuller and fuller with dreams. ❜ ❨468❩ ❛ Life is a dream surely. ❜ ❨469❩ ❛ I think sometimes I am not a woman, but the light that falls on this gate, on this ground. I am the seasons, I think sometimes, January, May, November; the mud, the mist, the dawn. ❜ ❨470❩ ❛ Oh, I am in love with life! ❜ ❨471❩ ❛ I have been knotted; I have been torn apart. ❜ ❨472❩ ❛ There was no freedom in life, and certainly there was none in death. ❜ ❨473❩ ❛ I do not know. I do not know myself sometimes, or how to measure and name and count out the grains that make me what I am. ❜ ❨474❩ ❛ I ride rough waters, and shall sink with no one to save me. ❜ ❨475❩ ❛ I am above the earth now. I am no longer upright, to be knocked against and damaged. ❜ ❨476❩ ❛ I see it all. I feel it all. ❜ ❨477❩ ❛ Death is woven in with the violets. Death and again death. ❜ ❨478❩ ❛ We have been walking for hours it seems. But where? I cannot remember. ❜ ❨479❩ ❛ If we were all on trial for our thoughts, we would all be hanged. ❜ ❨480❩ ❛ When you are in the middle of a story it isn't a story at all, but only a confusion; a dark roaring, a blindness, a wreckage of shattered glass. ❜ ❨481❩ ❛ Murderess is a strong word to have attached to you. It has a smell to it, that word; - musky and oppressive, like dead flowers in a vase. ❜ ❨482❩ ❛ Sometimes at night I whisper it over to myself: Murderess, murderess. It rustles, like a taffeta skirt across the floor. ❜ ❨483❩ ❛ If the world treats you well, you come to believe you are deserving of it. ❜ ❨484❩ ❛ If I am good enough and quiet enough, perhaps after all they will let me go. ❜ ❨485❩ ❛ It’s not easy being quiet and good, it’s like hanging on to the edge of a bridge when you’ve already fallen over; you don’t seem to be moving, just dangling there, and yet it is taking all your strength. ❜ ❨486❩ ❛ There is no fool like an educated fool. ❜ ❨487❩ ❛ There are many dangerous things that may take place in a bed. ❜ ❨488❩ ❛ I am afraid of falling into hopeless despair, over my wasted life, and I am still not sure how it happened. ❜ ❨489❩ ❛ Underneath it all is another feeling, a feeling of being wide-eyed awake and watchful. ❜ ❨490❩ ❛ And underneath all that is another feeling still, a feeling like being torn open; not like a body of flesh, it is not painful as such, but like a peach; and not even torn open, but ripe and splitting open of its own accord. ❜ ❨491❩ ❛ The small details of life often hide a great significance. ❜ ❨492❩ ❛ Guilt comes to you not from the things you've done, but from the things that others have done to you. ❜ ❨493❩ ❛ I wonder, how can I be all of these different things at once? ❜ ❨494❩ ❛ It is always a mistake to curse back openly at those who are stronger than you unless there is a fence between. ❜ ❨495❩ ❛ Some call this "Eve's curse," but I think that is stupid because the real curse of Eve was having to put up with the nonsense of Adam. ❜ ❨496❩ ❛ I don't know why they are all so eager to be remembered. What good will it do them? There are some things that should be forgotten by everyone, and never spoken of again. ❜ ❨497❩ ❛ I would never blame a human creature for feeling lonely. ❜ ❨498❩ ❛ If they want a monster so badly they ought to be provided by one. ❜ ❨499❩ ❛ It’s as if I never existed, because no trace of me remains, I have left no marks. And that way I cannot be followed. It is almost the same as being innocent. ❜ ❨500❩ ❛ Today you wear your habitual expression of strained anxiety; you smell of violets. ❜ ❨501❩ ❛ Of course you have always been an idealist, and filled with your optimistic dreams; but reality must at some time obtrude. ❜ ❨502❩ ❛ I wonder what would become of me, and comfort myself that in a hundred years I will be dead and at peace. ❜ ❨503❩ ❛ For it is not always the one that strikes the blow that is the actual murderer. ❜ ❨504❩ ❛ There is a “do this” or “do that” with God, but not any “because”. ❜ ❨505❩ ❛ If you have a need and they find it out, they will use it against you. The best way is to stop from wanting anything. ❜ ❨506❩ ❛ They say, why don’t you ever smile or laugh, we never see you smiling, and I say I suppose I have gotten out of the way of it, my face won’t bend in that direction any more. ❜ ❨507❩ ❛ I was shut up inside that doll of myself, and my true voice could not get out. ❜ ❨508❩ ❛ I see what you’re after. You are a collector. You think all you have to do is give me an apple, and then you can collect me. ❜ ❨509❩ ❛ If you want to be an asshole, it's a free country. Millions before you have made the same life choice. ❜ ❨510❩ ❛ Then there's the future. Sheer vertigo. ❜ ❨511❩ ❛ Nature is to zoos as God is to churches. ❜ ❨512❩ ❛ After everything that's happened, how can the world still be so beautiful? ❜ ❨513❩ ❛ There's something to be said for hunger: at least it lets you know you're still alive. ❜ ❨514❩ ❛ These things sneak up on me for no reason, these flashes of irrational happiness. It's probably a vitamin deficiency. ❜ ❨515❩ ❛ Toast cannot be explained by any rational means. Toast is me. I am toast. ❜ ❨516❩ ❛ You can’t buy it, but it has a price. Everything has a price. ❜ ❨517❩ ❛ As a species were doomed by hope, then? You could call it hope. That, or desperation. ❜ ❨518❩ ❛ I am not my childhood. ❜ ❨519❩ ❛ Human beings hope they can stick their souls into someone else and live on forever. ❜ ❨520❩ ❛ “I'll make you mine”, lovers said in old books. They never said, “I'll make you me.” ❜ ❨521❩ ❛ How much is too much, how far is too far? ❜ ❨522❩ ❛ Expectation isn't the same as desire. ❜ ❨523❩ ❛ Why not cut to the chase? ❜ ❨524❩ ❛ Maybe there aren't any solutions. Human society, corpses and rubble. ❜ ❨525❩ ❛ I thought you didn’t believe in God. ❜ ❨526❩ ❛ I need at least the illusion of being understood. ❜ ❨527❩ ❛ What change would have altered the course of events? In the big picture, nothing. In the small picture, so much. ❜ ❨528❩ ❛ You are only looking at the dirt under your feet. It's not good for you. ❜ ❨529❩ ❛ I like to keep only the bright side of myself turned towards you. ❜ ❨530❩ ❛ Grief in the face of inevitable death. The wish to stop time. The human condition. ❜ ❨531❩ ❛ So many crucial events take place behind people’s backs, when they aren’t in a position to watch: birth and death, for instance. ❜ ❨532❩ ❛ Would you kill someone you loved to spare them pain? ❜ ❨533❩ ❛ When the water’s moving faster than the boat, you can’t control a thing. ❜ ❨534❩ ❛ Don't be so fucking sentimental. ❜ ❨535❩ ❛ Wrong, as usual. ❜ ❨536❩ ❛ Why do you want to talk about ugly things? ❜ ❨537❩ ❛ I understand why serial killers send helpful clues to the police. ❜ ❨538❩ ❛ Take your time, leave mine alone. ❜ ❨539❩ ❛ You will hear thunder and remember me. ❜ ❨540❩ ❛ If you were music, I would listen to you ceaselessly. ❜ ❨541❩ ❛ I seem to myself an accidental guest in this dreadful body. ❜ ❨542❩ ❛ Call me a sinner, mock me maliciously. ❜ ❨543❩ ❛ I, from the very beginning, seemed to myself like someone's dream or delirium. Or a reflection in someone else's mirror. Without flesh, without meaning, without a name. ❜ ❨544❩ ❛ I knew the list of crimes that I was destined to commit. ❜ ❨545❩ ❛ The future ripens in the past, so the past rots in the future. ❜ ❨546❩ ❛ You are untranslatable into any one tongue. ❜ ❨547❩ ❛ I was hoping my silence would fit yours. ❜ ❨548❩ ❛ See, we were never about butterflies. All about us is unearthly and radiant. ❜ ❨549❩ ❛ You do not know just what you've been forgiven. ❜ ❨550❩ ❛ I need to slaughter my memory. ❜ ❨551❩ ❛ Forgive me that I appeared to you in waking dreams. ❜ ❨552❩ ❛ I will condemn, I will forget, I will give comfort to the enemy. ❜ ❨553❩ ❛ I know beginnings, I know endings too, and life-in-death. ❜ ❨554❩ ❛ Wild honey smells of freedom. But gold smells of nothing. ❜ ❨555❩ ❛ You are three times more beautiful than angels. ❜ ❨556❩ ❛ I will kill you without spilling your blood on the ground, not touching you with my hand, not giving you one glance. ❜ ❨557❩ ❛ You invented me. There is no such earthly being. ❜ ❨558❩ ❛ You’re late. Way too late. I’m glad to see you, nonetheless. ❜ ❨559❩ ❛ Forgive me that I felt forsaken. Forgive me that I kept mistaking too many others for you. ❜ ❨560❩ ❛ Real tenderness can’t be confused, it’s quiet and can’t be heard. ❜ ❨561❩ ❛ What else lived in that house besides us? ❜ ❨562❩ ❛ How unhappy we are together! ❜ ❨563❩ ❛ I defend not my voice, but my silence. ❜ ❨564❩ ❛ Without love, I'm more at ease, I'm sure. ❜ ❨565❩ ❛ I've got no more tears or explanations. ❜ ❨566❩ ❛ I’m not complaining. Happiness is not for me. ❜ ❨567❩ ❛ Are you not the only tie between good and evil, earthly pits and paradise? ❜ ❨568❩ ❛ In the morning we shall find out who has died in the night. ❜ ❨569❩ ❛ I was not a lovable child, and I've grown into a deeply unlovable adult. ❜ ❨570❩ ❛ The truly frightening flaw in humanity is our capacity for cruelty - we all have it. ❜ ❨571❩ ❛ I have a meanness inside me, real as an organ. Slit me at my belly and it might slide out, meaty and dark. ❜ ❨572❩ ❛ I am not angry or sad or happy to see you. I could not give a shit. You don't even ripple. ❜ ❨573❩ ❛ I was raised feral, and I mostly stayed that way. ❜ ❨574❩ ❛ I can feel a better version of me somewhere in there - hidden behind a liver or attached to a bit of spleen. But the meanness usually wins out. ❜ ❨575❩ ❛ I felt something loosen in me, that shouldn't have loosened. A stitch come undone. ❜ ❨576❩ ❛ Everyone who keeps a secret, itches to tell it. ❜ ❨577❩ ❛ Coffee goes great with sudden death. ❜ ❨578❩ ❛ I should just listen to my gut and then do the opposite. ❜ ❨579❩ ❛ “Smile, it can't be that bad!” Yeah, actually, it can, jackwad. ❜ ❨580❩ ❛ Everything bad in the world already did happen. ❜ ❨581❩ ❛ You’re going to find peace? Like knowing is somehow going to fix you? ❜ ❨582❩ ❛ Instead of asking yourself what happened, just accept that it happened. ❜ ❨583❩ ❛ Homesick for a place I've never been. ❜ ❨584❩ ❛ Worries find you easily enough without inviting them. ❜ ❨585❩ ❛ It is always consoling to think of suicide. It's what gets one through many a bad night. ❜ ❨586❩ ❛ Do you understand this is serious? ❜ ❨587❩ ❛ Sometimes it feels good to fuck with something. Instead of always being fucked with. ❜ ❨588❩ ❛ How could you kill something you cared enough to name? ❜ ❨589❩ ❛ Draw a picture of my soul, and it’d be a scribble with fangs. ❜ ❨590❩ ❛ We have the same chemicals in our blood: shame, anger, greed. Unjustified nostalgia. ❜ ❨591❩ ❛ I appreciate a straightforward apology the way a tone-deaf person enjoys a fine piece of music. ❜ ❨592❩ ❛ The phrase fuck you may not rest on the tip of my tongue, but it’s near. Midtongue. ❜ ❨593❩ ❛ Nothing to it but to do it. ❜ ❨594❩ ❛ There are a lot of people who deserve a lesson, deserve to really understand, that nothing comes easy, that most things are going to go sour. ❜ ❨595❩ ❛ If ifs and buts were candies and nuts we’d all have a very Merry Christmas. ❜ ❨596❩ ❛ Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. ❜ ❨597❩ ❛ What does it do to a girl who knows her mother is a murderer? ❜ ❨598❩ ❛ That mean old bitch across the street bit it. ❜ ❨599❩ ❛ Survival is a talent. ❜ ❨600❩ ❛ Crazy isn't being broken or swallowing a dark secret. It’s you or me amplified. If you ever told a lie and enjoyed it. If you ever wished you could be a child forever. ❜ ❨601❩ ❛ Who has the courage to burn themselves? ❜ ❨602❩ ❛ Is insanity just a matter of dropping the act? ❜ ❨603❩ ❛ Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? ❜ ❨604❩ ❛ You need to be well fed, clothed, and housed to have time for this much self-pity. ❜ ❨605❩ ❛ When I am supposed to be awake, I am asleep; when I am supposed to speak, I am silent. When a pleasure offers itself to me, I avoid it. ❜ ❨606❩ ❛ There is thought, and then there is thinking about thoughts, and they don't feel the same. ❜ ❨607❩ ❛ In a strange way we are free. We've reached the end of the line. We have nothing more to lose. ❜ ❨608❩ ❛ The world won’t stop because we aren’t in it anymore. ❜ ❨609❩ ❛ I can't answer the real question. All I can tell you is, it's easy. ❜ ❨610❩ ❛ I am lighter, airier than I’ve been in years. ❜ ❨611❩ ❛ I am not dead, yet something in me definitely is. ❜ ❨612❩ ❛ You meant that as an insult but I am taking it as a compliment. ❜ ❨613❩ ❛ What life can recover from that? ❜ ❨614❩ ❛ It's a fairly accurate portrait of me. It's accurate but it isn't profound. ❜ ❨615❩ ❛ Pull yourself together! There's nothing wrong with you. ❜ ❨616❩ ❛ It's quiet. It's like― I don't know. It's like falling off a cliff. ❜ ❨617❩ ❛ Once you start parsing a face, it's a peculiar item: squishy, pointy, with lots of air vents and wet spots. ❜ ❨618❩ ❛ I lost him. I did it on purpose. ❜ ❨619❩ ❛ It’s a mean world. There’s nobody to take care of you out there. ❜ ❨620❩ ❛ Reality is getting too dense. ❜ ❨621❩ ❛ I'm ambivalent. In fact that's my new favourite word. ❜ ❨622❩ ❛ I can't come up with reassuring answers to the terrible questions you raise. ❜ ❨623❩ ❛ A spring day, the sort that gives people hope: all soft winds and delicate smells of warm earth. Suicide weather. ❜ ❨624❩ ❛ Twenty-five chocolate chip cookies would be the perfect dinner. ❜ ❨625❩ ❛ A thought is a hard thing to control. ❜ ❨626❩ ❛ Life demands skills I don’t have. ❜ ❨627❩ ❛ Light like this does not exist, but we wish it did. We wish the sun could make us young and beautiful. Most of all, we wish that everyone we knew could be brightened simply by our looking at them. ❜ ❨628❩ ❛ It never stops, even at night, it’s my lullaby. ❜ ❨629❩ ❛ Love blurs your vision; but after it recedes, you can see more clearly than ever. ❜ ❨630❩ ❛ This is the kind of thing you see if you sit in the darkness with open eyes. ❜ ❨631❩ ❛ I have done something wrong, something so huge I can't even see it, something that's drowning me. ❜ ❨632❩ ❛ Whatever is happening to me is my own fault. ❜ ❨633❩ ❛ Hatred is easier. Hatred is clear, metallic, one-handed, unwavering; unlike love. ❜ ❨634❩ ❛ Potential has a shelf life. ❜ ❨635❩ ❛ Don’t move. Stay like that, let me have that. ❜ ❨636❩ ❛ I have come to the edge, of the land. I could get pushed over. ❜ ❨637❩ ❛ Never pray for justice, because you might get some. ❜ ❨638❩ ❛ It disturbs me to learn I have hurt someone unintentionally. I want all my hurts to be intentional. ❜ ❨639❩ ❛ We have been shark to one another, but also lifeboat. That counts for something. ❜ ❨640❩ ❛ This is what I miss, not something that’s gone, but something that will never happen. ❜ ❨641❩ ❛ I am not good. I know too much to be good. I know myself. I know myself to be vengeful, greedy, secretive and sly. ❜ ❨642❩ ❛ You are amazing. Amazing and agonising and almost lethal. ❜ ❨643❩ ❛ In my dreams of this city I am always lost. ❜ ❨644❩ ❛ I don't know where these feelings have come from, I don’t know what I've done. ❜ ❨645❩ ❛ I am not the centre of your story, you are. ❜ ❨646❩ ❛ I’m mad because you’re an asshole. ❜ ❨647❩ ❛ It's enormously pleasing to me, walking away. It's like being able to make people appear and vanish, at will. ❜ ❨648❩ ❛ There is never only one of anyone. ❜ ❨649❩ ❛ I can't do this without feeling I'm acting. ❜ ❨650❩ ❛ I am prepared for almost anything; except absence, except silence. ❜ ❨651❩ ❛ I’m losing my appetite for strangers. ❜ ❨652❩ ❛ You wear your cravings on the outside, like the suckers on a squid. You want it all. ❜ ❨653❩ ❛ Knowing too much about other people weakens you. You are forced to understand their reasons for doing things. ❜ ❨654❩ ❛ I have lost confidence: perhaps all I will ever be is what I am now. ❜ ❨655❩ ❛ Echoes of light, shining out of the midst of nothing. It's old light, and there's not much of it. But it's enough to see by. ❜ ❨656❩ ❛ Whoever cares the most will lose. ❜ ❨657❩ ❛ Young women need unfairness, it’s one of their few defences. ❜ ❨658❩ ❛ Time has gone on without you. ❜ ❨659❩ ❛ Don't let the bastards grind you down. ❜ ❨660❩ ❛ Who can remember pain, once it’s over? Pain marks you, but too deep to see. Out of sight, out of mind. ❜ ❨661❩ ❛ Better never means better for everyone. It always means worse, for some. ❜ ❨662❩ ❛ There is more than one kind of freedom. Freedom to and freedom from. ❜ ❨663❩ ❛ Remember that forgiveness too is a power. ❜ ❨664❩ ❛ I am not your justification for existence. ❜ ❨665❩ ❛ I want to be valued, in ways that I am not; I want to be more than valuable. ❜ ❨666❩ ❛ If it's a story I'm telling, then I have control over the ending. ❜ ❨667❩ ❛ All you have to do is keep your mouth shut and look stupid. It shouldn't be that hard. ❜ ❨668❩ ❛ Truly amazing, what people can get used to, as long as there are a few compensations. ❜ ❨669❩ ❛ I want everything back, the way it was. ❜ ❨670❩ ❛ You can't help what you feel, but you can help how you behave. ❜ ❨671❩ ❛ Nothing changes instantaneously: in a gradually heating bathtub you'd be boiled to death before you knew it. ❜ ❨672❩ ❛ To want is to have a weakness. ❜ ❨673❩ ❛ There isn't even an enemy you could put your finger on. ❜ ❨674❩ ❛ The past is a great darkness, filled with echoes. ❜ ❨675❩ ❛ Ordinary is what you are used to. This may not seem ordinary to you now, but after a time it will. It will become ordinary. ❜ ❨676❩ ❛ I wish this story were different. I wish it were more civilised. I wish it showed me in a better light. ❜ ❨677❩ ❛ The night is mine, my own time, to do with it as I will, as long as I am quiet. As long as I don't move. As long as I lie still. ❜ ❨678❩ ❛ By telling you anything at all I'm at least believing in you. ❜ ❨679❩ ❛ Whatever is silenced will clamour to be heard. ❜ ❨680❩ ❛ Don't worry about forgiving me right now. There are more important things. ❜ ❨681❩ ❛ Keep the others safe. Don't let them suffer too much. If they have to die, let it be fast. ❜ ❨682❩ ❛ The body is so easily damaged, so easily disposed of, water and chemicals is all it is, hardly more to it than a jellyfish, drying on sand. ❜ ❨683❩ ❛ The world is full of weapons if you're looking for them. ❜ ❨684❩ ❛ Nobody's heart is perfect. ❜ ❨685❩ ❛ One false move and I'm dead. ❜ ❨686❩ ❛ Watch out. I've got my eye on you. ❜ ❨687❩ ❛ Fear is a powerful stimulant. ❜ ❨688❩ ❛ I couldn't afford to lose you. ❜ ❨689❩ ❛ Name one hero who was happy. ---- You can’t. ❜ ❨690❩ ❛ I feel like I could eat the world raw. ❜ ❨691❩ ❛ We are like gods at the dawning of the world. ❜ ❨692❩ ❛ I could recognise him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world. ❜ ❨693❩ ❛ There are no bargains between lion and men. I will kill you and eat you raw. ❜ ❨694❩ ❛ You can use a spear as a walking stick, but that will not change its nature. ❜ ❨695❩ ❛ He is a weapon, a killer. Do not forget it. ❜ ❨696❩ ❛ Some men gain glory after they die, others fade. ❜ ❨697❩ ❛ I am made of memories. ❜ ❨698❩ ❛ Will you come with me? ❜ ❨699❩ ❛ I wish I had let you all die. ❜ ❨700❩ ❛ It is right to seek peace for the dead. You and I both know there is no peace for those who live after. ❜ ❨701❩ ❛ Bury us. Let us be free. ❜ ❨702❩ ❛ Go. He waits for you. ❜ ❨703❩ ❛ Nothing could eclipse the stain of this dirty, mortal mediocrity. ❜ ❨704❩ ❛ I know I have told you of this. ❜ ❨705❩ ❛ I don't know how you remember them all. I swear they look the same to me. ❜ ❨706❩ ❛ Perhaps you should get some new stories, so I don’t fucking kill myself of boredom. ❜ ❨707❩ ❛ I yearn for the darkness and silence of the underworld, where I can rest. ❜ ❨708❩ ❛ There is no honour in betraying your friends. ❜ ❨709❩ ❛ There is no answer. Whichever you choose, you are wrong. ❜ ❨710❩ ❛ Divine blood flows differently. ❜ ❨711❩ ❛ How is there glory in taking life? We die so easily. ❜ ❨712❩ ❛ This is what I will miss, I think. I will kill myself rather than miss it. ❜ ❨713❩ ❛ How long do we have? ❜ ❨714❩ ❛ Do you think we fight hopeless wars? ❜ ❨715❩ ❛ There is no law that gods must be fair. ❜ ❨716❩ ❛ I do not fear ridicule. I never have. ❜ ❨717❩ ❛ You were always better with words than I. ❜ ❨718❩ ❛ Who can be ashamed to lose to such beauty? ❜ ❨719❩ ❛ When you see beauty in desolation it changes something inside you. ❜ ❨720❩ ❛ That's how the madness of the world tries to colonise you: from the outside in, forcing you to live in its reality. ❜ ❨721❩ ❛ The shadows of the abyss are like the petals of a monstrous flower that shall blossom within the skull and expand the mind beyond what any man can bear. ❜ ❨722❩ ❛ Silence creates violence. ❜ ❨723❩ ❛ Some questions will ruin you if you are denied the answer long enough. ❜ ❨724❩ ❛ There are certain kinds of connections that are so deep that when broken you feel the snap of it inside you. ❜ ❨725❩ ❛ Nothing that ever lived and breathed was truly objective—even in a vacuum, even if all that possessed the brain was a self-immolating desire for the truth. ❜ ❨726❩ ❛ We all live in a kind of continuous dream. ❜ ❨727❩ ❛ You can either waste time worrying about a death that might not come or concentrate on what’s left to you. ❜ ❨728❩ ❛ What can you do when your five senses are not enough? ❜ ❨729❩ ❛ We will neither be what we had been nor what we would become once we reach our destination. ❜ ❨730❩ ❛ Perhaps my only real expertise, my only talent, is to endure beyond the endurable. ❜ ❨731❩ ❛ When you are too close to the centre of a mystery there is no way to pull back. ❜ ❨732❩ ❛ I long ago stopped believing in promises. Biological imperatives, yes. Environmental factors, yes. Promises, no. ❜ ❨733❩ ❛ I look not for shooting stars but for fixed ones, and I try to imagine what kind of life lives in those celestial tidal pools so far from us. ❜ ❨734❩ ❛ I hesitated for just a moment. Some part of me wanted to see the creature, I think. If so, it was a very small part. I ran. ❜ ❨735❩ ❛ I don’t require any of this to have a deeper meaning. ❜ ❨736❩ ❛ All of this speculation is incomplete, inexact, inaccurate, useless. ❜ ❨737❩ ❛ We don’t have real answers, because we still don’t know what questions to ask. Our instruments are useless, our methodology broken, our motivations selfish. ❜ ❨738❩ ❛ This part I will do alone. Don’t follow. ❜ ❨739❩ ❛ People my entire life have told me I am too much in control, but that has never been the case. I have never truly been in control. ❜ ❨740❩ ❛ Has there always been someone like me to bury the bodies, to have regrets, to carry on after everyone else was dead? ❜ ❨741❩ ❛ I loved them, but I didn’t need them, and I thought that was the way it was supposed to be. ❜ ❨742❩ ❛ Places can impress themselves upon me, and I can become part of them with ease. ❜ ❨743❩ ❛ There is no one with me. I am all by myself. ❜ ❨744❩ ❛ Pretending often leads to becoming a reasonable facsimile of what you mimic. ❜ ❨745❩ ❛ I think you're confusing suicide with self-destruction, and they're very different. Almost none of us commit suicide, whereas almost all of us self-destruct. ❜ ❨746❩ ❛ What did you eat? You had rations for only two weeks. You were there for nearly four months. ❜ ❨747❩ ❛ Something here is making giant waves in the gene pool. ❜ ❨748❩ ❛ I need to know what’s inside. ❜ ❨749❩ ❛ These aren't decisions. They're impulses ❜ ❨750❩ ❛ What do you think I do when you’re away? Do you think I’m out in the garden pinning, looking up at the sky? ❜ ❨751❩ ❛ If I know what’s happened I can save their life. ❜ ❨752❩ ❛ They either went crazy or something in here killed them. ❜ ❨753❩ ❛ Something is coming through the fence! ❜ ❨754❩ ❛ Nothing is written in the stars. Not these stars, nor any others. No one controls your destiny. ❜ ❨755❩ ❛ People who claim that they're evil are usually no worse than the rest of us. ❜ ❨756❩ ❛ Happy endings are still endings. ❜ ❨757❩ ❛ We believe in all sorts of things that aren't true; -- we call it history. ❜ ❨758❩ ❛ Does the devil ever struggle to be good again, or if so is he not a devil? ❜ ❨759❩ ❛ In the lives of children, pumpkins turn into coaches, mice and rats turn into men. When we grow up, we realise it is far more common for men to turn into rats. ❜ ❨760❩ ❛ Girls need cold anger. They need the cold simmer, the ceaseless grudge, the talent to avoid forgiveness, the side stepping of compromise. ❜ ❨761❩ ❛ Love makes hunters of us all. ❜ ❨762❩ ❛ There is much to hate in this world and way too much to love. ❜ ❨763❩ ❛ You confuse not speaking with not listening. ❜ ❨764❩ ❛ As long as people are going to call you a lunatic anyway, why not get the benefit of it? It liberates you from convention. ❜ ❨765❩ ❛ The eye is always caught by light, but shadows have more to say. ❜ ❨766❩ ❛ Not everyone is born a witch or a saint. Not everyone is born talented, or crooked, or blessed; some are born definite in no particular at all. ❜ ❨767❩ ❛ We are a fountain of shimmering contradictions, most of us. ❜ ❨768❩ ❛ The wickedness of men is that their power breeds stupidity and blindness. ❜ ❨769❩ ❛ I know you don't want to hear this but someone has to say it! You are out of control! ❜ ❨770❩ ❛ Even at the very worst - there is always choice. ❜ ❨771❩ ❛ Maybe the definition of home is the place where you are never forgiven. So you may always belong there, bound by guilt. And maybe the cost of belonging is worth it. ❜ ❨772❩ ❛ Cross a man and you struggle, one of you wins, you adjust and go on -- or you lie there dead. Cross a woman and the entire universe is changed. ❜ ❨773❩ ❛ That was such a wonderful time, even in its strangeness and sadness. Life isn't the same now. It's wonderful, but it isn't the same. ❜ ❨774❩ ❛ I don't care for approval, and I don't mind doing without. ❜ ❨775❩ ❛ It's where I live. A permanent state of bereavement. This is nothing new. ❜ ❨776❩ ❛ Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. Always the godfather, never the god. ❜ ❨777❩ ❛ The world unwraps itself to you, again and again as soon as you are ready to see it anew. ❜ ❨778❩ ❛ Evil is an act, not an appetite. Everyone has the appetite. If you give in to it, that act is evil. The appetite is normal. ❜ ❨779❩ ❛ How many haven't wanted to slash the throat of some boor across the dining room table? ❜ ❨780❩ ❛ Even God used silence as a strategy. ❜ ❨781❩ ❛ I learned failure early and mastered it. ❜ ❨782❩ ❛ It isn't whether you do it well or ill, it's that you do it all. ❜ ❨783❩ ❛ This is why you shouldn't fall in love, it blinds you. Love is a very wicked distraction. ❜ ❨784❩ ❛ Wisdom is not the understanding of mystery. Wisdom is accepting that mystery is beyond understanding. That's what makes it mystery. ❜ ❨785❩ ❛ Wrong takes an awful long time to be proven, in my experience. ❜ ❨786❩ ❛ Such brightness, as you know, decays brilliantly. ❜ ❨787❩ ❛ I take responsibility only for the future, not the past. The past can't hurt you the way the future can. ❜ ❨788❩ ❛ Tell me to mind my own business, tell me to go fuck myself, to piss off, go on, say it, but don’t tell me nothing’s wrong. ❜ ❨789❩ ❛ The truth isn't a thing of fact or reason. It is simply what everyone agrees on. ❜ ❨790❩ ❛ One can't make peace with another by force. ❜ ❨791❩ ❛ I am a forgettable leaf on a tree. ❜ ❨792❩ ❛ That's all I want; --- to do no harm. ❜ ❨793❩ ❛ I only believe in the opposite of luck, whatever that is. ❜ ❨794❩ ❛ Human beings are not born once and for all on the day their mothers give birth to them, life obliges them over and over again to give birth to themselves. ❜ ❨795❩ ❛ You’re too young to know that the heart's memory eliminates the bad and magnifies the good, and thanks to that we manage to endure the burden of the past. ❜ ❨796❩ ❛ Love, no matter what else it might be, is a natural talent. You are either born knowing how, or you never know. ❜ ❨797❩ ❛ Whatever you do, you will be sorry all the rest of your life. ❜ ❨798❩ ❛ There is no God worth worrying about. ❜ ❨799❩ ❛ The only regret I will have in dying is if it is not for love. ❜ ❨800❩ ❛ Wisdom comes to us when it can no longer do any good. ❜ ❨801❩ ❛ Think of love as a state of grace, not the means to anything, but the very end in itself. ❜ ❨802❩ ❛ Only God knows how much I love you. ❜ ❨803❩ ❛ There is no greater glory than to die for love. ❜ ❨804❩ ❛ Nothing resembles a person as much as the way he dies. ❜ ❨805❩ ❛ Take advantage of it now, while you are young, and suffer all you can, because these things don't last your whole life. ❜ ❨806❩ ❛ Today, when I saw you, I realised that what is between us is nothing more than an illusion. ❜ ❨807❩ ❛ I have waited for this opportunity for more than half a century. ❜ ❨808❩ ❛ I want to be myself again, to recover all that I was obliged to give up. ❜ ❨809❩ ❛ The only thing worse than bad health is a bad name. ❜ ❨810❩ ❛ This soup tastes like windows. ❜ ❨811❩ ❛ Why do you insist on talking about what does not exist? ❜ ❨812❩ ❛ One has to live a long time to know a man's true nature. ❜ ❨813❩ ❛ No, not rich, I am a poor man with money, which is not the same thing. ❜ ❨814❩ ❛ My heart has more rooms than a whorehouse. ❜ ❨815❩ ❛ That may be the reason he does so many things, so that he will not have to think. ❜ ❨816❩ ❛ Love if it exists, is something separate: another life. ❜ ❨817❩ ❛ Things did not go as badly for me as they would for you. ❜ ❨818❩ ❛ There are things you do only for love. ❜ ❨819❩ ❛ I’ll have plenty of time to rest when I die. ❜ ❨820❩ ❛ There is no innocence more dangerous than the innocence of age. ❜ ❨821❩ ❛ You treat me as if I were just anybody. ❜ ❨822❩ ❛ The symptoms of love are the same as those of cholera. ❜ ❨823❩ ❛ There is no law, human or divine, that you have not ignored. ❜ ❨824❩ ❛ Why is it that I feel I've known you so many years? ❜ ❨825❩ ❛ Stuff your eyes with wonder, live as if you'd drop dead in ten seconds. See the world. It's more fantastic than any dream made or paid for in factories. ❜ ❨826❩ ❛ It doesn't matter what you do, so long as you change something from the way it was before you touched it into something that's like you after you take your hands away. ❜ ❨827❩ ❛ We need to be really bothered once in a while. How long is it since you were really bothered? About something important, about something real? ❜ ❨828❩ ❛ There must be something, something we can’t imagine, to make a woman stay in a burning house; there must be something there. You don’t stay for nothing. ❜ ❨829❩ ❛ If you hide your ignorance, no one will hit you and you'll never learn. ❜ ❨830❩ ❛ If you drown, at least die knowing you were heading for shore. ❜ ❨831❩ ❛ You can't make people listen. They have to come round in their own time, wondering what happened and why the world blew up around them. ❜ ❨832❩ ❛ It was a pleasure to burn. ❜ ❨833❩ ❛ I'm antisocial, they say. I don't mix. It's so strange. I'm very social indeed. It all depends on what you mean by social, doesn't it? ❜ ❨834❩ ❛ Being with people is nice. But I don't think it's social to get a bunch of people together and then not let them talk, do you? ❜ ❨835❩ ❛ Do you notice how people hurt each other nowadays? ❜ ❨836❩ ❛ Who knows who might be the target of the well-read man? ❜ ❨837❩ ❛ I don't talk things. I talk the meaning of things. ❜ ❨838❩ ❛ I'll hold on to the world tight some day. I've got one finger on it now; that's a beginning. ❜ ❨839❩ ❛ I just want someone to hear what I have to say. And maybe if I talk long enough it'll make sense. ❜ ❨840❩ ❛ That's the good part of dying; when you've nothing to lose, you run any risk you want. ❜ ❨841❩ ❛ Someday we'll build the biggest goddamn steamshovel in history and dig the biggest grave of all time and shove war in it and cover it up. ❜ ❨842❩ ❛ You're not like the others. I've seen a few; I know. When I talk, you look at me. ❜ ❨843❩ ❛ You're afraid of making mistakes. Don't be. Mistakes can be profited by. ❜ ❨844❩ ❛ When they give you lined paper, write the other way. ❜ ❨845❩ ❛ The sun burnt every day. It burnt time. ❜ ❨846❩ ❛ We have everything we need to be happy but we aren't happy. Something is missing. ❜ ❨847❩ ❛ I feel I'm doing what I should've done a lifetime ago. ❜ ❨848❩ ❛ I'm not afraid. Maybe it's because I'm doing the right thing at last. Maybe it's because I've done a rash thing and don't want to look the coward to you. ❜ ❨849❩ ❛ Good God, who were those men? I never saw them before in my life! ❜ ❨850❩ ❛ How do you get so empty? Who takes it out of you? ❜ ❨851❩ ❛ It must be right. It seems so right. ❜ ❨852❩ ❛ To everything there is a season. Yes. A time to break down, and a time to build up. A time to keep silence and a time to speak. ❜ ❨853❩ ❛ It's my game. And no one can help me. Not even you. ❜ ❨854❩ ❛ What makes earth feel like hell is our expectation that it should feel like heaven. Earth is earth. Dead is dead. You’ll find out for yourself soon enough. ❜ ❨855❩ ❛ Death is a long process. Your body is just the first part of you that croaks. Beyond that, your dreams have to die. Then your expectations. Your anger and memories must die. Your ego. Your pride and shame and ambition and hope. ❜ ❨856❩ ❛ Help me give up my addiction to hope. ❜ ❨857❩ ❛ Life is short, death is forever. ❜ ❨858❩ ❛ Hope is something really tough and tenacious you have to give up. It’s an addiction to break. ❜ ❨859❩ ❛ If the living are haunted by the dead, then the dead are haunted by their own mistakes. ❜ ❨860❩ ❛ We all wish to be pursued. We all long to be desired. ❜ ❨861❩ ❛ All the demons of hell formerly reigned as gods in previous cultures. No it's not fair, but one man's god is another man's devil. ❜ ❨862❩ ❛ I can become someone else, not out of pressure and desperation, but merely because a new life sounds fun or interesting or joyful. ❜ ❨863❩ ❛ It's my petty fear of personal rejection that allows so many true evils to exist. My cowardice enables atrocities. ❜ ❨864❩ ❛ You fucked up. Game over. So just relax. ❜ ❨865❩ ❛ The greatest weapon any warrior can carry into battle is absolute certainty of her eternal soul. ❜ ❨866❩ ❛ If killing you will end my existence as well, be it. Small loss. Such a life, as your puppet, is not worth living. ❜ ❨867❩ ❛ I might be a touch of a sadist and a little bit jejune but at least I'm not a victim, not any longer. I hope. ❜ ❨868❩ ❛ Dying seems like the greatest weakness, and in a world where people say you're lazy for not shaving your legs, then being dead seems like the ultimate character flaw. ❜ ❨869❩ ❛ Any concept of right versus wrong, is merely a cultural construct relative to one specific time and place. ❜ ❨870❩ ❛ To prove that I exist I must kill you. ❜ ❨871❩ ❛ I'd say that my life has been a way-too-long case history of chasing rainbows. ❜ ❨872❩ ❛ The world is a battle for attention, a war to be heard. ❜ ❨873❩ ❛ Every garden looks beautiful in May. ❜ ❨874❩ ❛ When we neglect to fear such brittle monstrosity, we render it powerless. ❜ ❨875❩ ❛ My taste for power continues to grow, as does my ability to accrue it. ❜ ❨876❩ ❛ Such language! Why don't you just take a dump in my ears? ❜ ❨877❩ ❛ You’d be foolish to count on people displaying high standards of honesty. ❜ ❨878❩ ❛ Depending on her mood, she can be more frightening than any demon or devil you might ever run across. ❜ ❨879❩ ❛ Cross your fingers! Maybe death won't happen to you. ❜ ❨880❩ ❛ Do not die while wearing cheap shoes. ❜ ❨881❩ ❛ Old habits die hard. ❜ ❨882❩ ❛ It's our attachments to a fixed identity that torture us. ❜ ❨883❩ ❛ What do I think I am? In a thousand words; I don't have a clue. ❨884❩ ❛ If I am to be saved it is because your love redeems me. ❜ ❨885❩ ❛ All I wanted was to be loved for myself. ❜ ❨886❩ ❛ I have tasted all the happiness the world can offer. ❜ ❨887❩ ❛ Shall we pity him? Shall we curse him? ❜ ❨888❩ ❛ You have a heart that can hold the entire empire of the world. ❜ ❨889❩ ❛ Look, I am not laughing now, crying, crying for you. ❜ ❨890❩ ❛ Tonight I gave you my soul, and I am dead. ❜ ❨891❩ ❛ You are afraid of me! And yet I am not really wicked. Love me and you shall see! ❜ ❨892❩ ❛ Are people so unhappy when they love? --- Yes, when they love and are not sure of being loved. ❜ ❨893❩ ❛ Your soul is a beautiful thing. No emperor received so fair a gift. The angels wept tonight. ❜ ❨894❩ ❛ Blood!...Blood!... That's a good thing! ❜ ❨895❩ ❛ Now I want to live like everybody else. I want to have a life like everybody else. ❜ ❨896❩ ❛ You will be the happiest of women. And we will sing, all by ourselves, till we swoon away with delight. ❜ ❨897❩ ❛ I should be as gentle as a lamb; and you could do anything with me that you pleased. ❜ ❨898❩ ❛ I am going to die of love, I am dying of love. That's how it is. I loved you so. I still love you so. ❜ ❨899❩ ❛ I am dying of love for her, I tell you! If only you knew how beautiful she was when she let me kiss her. ❜ ❨900❩ ❛ He fills me with horror but I do not hate him. How can I hate him? ❜ ❨901❩ ❛ Holy angel, in Heaven blessed, my spirit longs with thee to rest. ❜ ❨902❩ ❛ Nothing is colder or more dead than my heart. ❜ ❨903❩ ❛ I had loved an angel and now I despise a woman. ❜ ❨904❩ ❛ Our lives are one masked ball. ❜ ❨905❩ ❛ Why do you condemn a man whom you have never met, whom no one knows and about whom even you yourself know nothing? ❜ ❨906❩ ❛ He would commit murder for me. ❜ ❨907❩ ❛ If I don't save her from the hands of that humbug, she is lost. But I shall save her. ❜ ❨908❩ ❛ We will go from here together or die together. ❜ ❨909❩ ❛ Your fear, your terror, all of that is just love and love of the most exquisite kind, the kind which people do not admit even to themselves. The kind that gives you a thrill, when you think of it. ❜ ❨910❩ ❛ Destiny has chained you to me forever. ❜ ❨911❩ ❛ You must never ask me that. ❜ ❨912❩ ❛ Are you afraid that you will change your mind? ❜ ❨913❩ ❛ You must come and fetch me in my dressing room at midnight exactly. ❜ ❨914❩ ❛ The holes in your life are permanent. You have to grow around them, like tree roots around concrete; you mould yourself through the gaps. ❜ ❨915❩ ❛ I have never understood how people can blithely disregard the damage they do by following their hearts. ❜ ❨916❩ ❛ There’s something comforting about the sight of strangers safe at home. ❜ ❨917❩ ❛ I have lost control over everything, even the places in my head. ❜ ❨918❩ ❛ It’s possible to miss what you’ve never had, to even mourn for it. ❜ ❨919❩ ❛ There’s nothing so painful, so corrosive, as suspicion. ❜ ❨920❩ ❛ When did you become so weak? ❜ ❨921❩ ❛ I don’t know where that strength went, I don’t remember losing it. I think that over time it got chipped away, bit by bit, by life, by the living of it. ❜ ❨922❩ ❛ Let’s be honest: women are still only really valued for two things—their looks and their role as mothers. ❜ ❨923❩ ❛ Sadness gets boring after a while, for the sad person and for everyone around them. ❜ ❨924❩ ❛ I’m playing at real life instead of actually living it. ❜ ❨925❩ ❛ I’ve just got to let myself feel the pain, because if I don’t, if I keep numbing it, it’ll never really go away. ❜ ❨926❩ ❛ I am not the girl I used to be. I am no longer desirable, I’m off-putting in some way. It’s as if people can see the damage written all over me, can see it in my face, the way I hold myself, the way I move. ❜ ❨927❩ ❛ Who was it that said following your heart is a good thing? It is pure egotism, a selfishness to conquer all. ❜ ❨928❩ ❛ It’s impossible to resist the kindness of strangers. ❜ ❨929❩ ❛ Sometimes I catch myself trying to remember the last time I had meaningful physical contact with another person, just a hug or a heartfelt squeeze of my hand, and my heart twitches. ❜ ❨930❩ ❛ I have to find a way of making myself happy, I have to stop looking for happiness elsewhere. ❜ ❨931❩ ❛ How did I find myself here? I wonder where it started, my decline; I wonder at what point I could have halted it. Where did I take the wrong turn? ❜ ❨932❩ ❛ Now look -- Now look what you made me do. ❜ ❨933❩ ❛ It’s okay, whatever you did, whatever you’ve done: you suffered, you hurt, you deserve forgiveness. ❜ ❨934❩ ❛ They’re what I lost, they’re everything I want to be. ❜ ❨935❩ ❛ You broke me and I broke us. ❜ ❨936❩ ❛ I’ve been the fool. If he does it with you, he’ll do it to you. ❜ ❨937❩ ❛ I’d never realised, not until now, how shameful it is to be pitied. ❜ ❨938❩ ❛ Sometimes, I don’t want to go anywhere, I think I’ll be happy if I never have to set foot outside the house again. ❜ ❨939❩ ❛ I don’t believe in soul mates, but there’s an understanding between us that I just haven’t felt before, or at least, not for a long time. ❜ ❨940❩ ❛ There can be no greater agony, nothing can be more painful than the not knowing, which will never end. ❜ ❨941❩ ❛ Being the other woman is a huge turn-on, there’s no point in denying it: you’re the one he can’t help but betray his wife for, even though he loves her. That’s just how irresistible you are. ❜ ❨942❩ ❛ I feel a rush of gratitude so strong, it feels almost like love. ❜ ❨943❩ ❛ You don’t know how determined I can be. Once I’ve made my mind up, I’m a force to be reckoned with. ❜ ❨944❩ ❛ The more I want to be oblivious, the less I can be. Life and light will not let me be. ❜ ❨945❩ ❛ You don’t have to be afraid of being alone. It’s not the worst thing, is it? ❜ ❨946❩ ❛ I have felt this way before. On a larger scale, to a more intense degree, of course, but I remember the quality of the pain. You don’t forget it. ❜ ❨947❩ ❛ If he thinks I’m going to sit around crying, he’s got another thing coming. ❜ ❨948❩ ❛ I don’t like to lose. It’s not like me. None of this is like me. I don’t get rejected. I’m the one who walks away. ❜ ❨949❩ ❛ I don’t remember anger, raging fury. I remember fear. ❜ ❨950❩ ❛ I can’t sleep. I haven’t slept in days. I hate it, hate insomnia more than anything, just lying there, brain going round, tick, tick, tick, tick. ❜ ❨951❩ ❛ Maybe the courage I need has nothing to do with telling the truth and everything to do with walking away. ❜ ❨952❩ ❛ I’m not beautiful, and I can’t have kids, so what does that make me? Worthless. ❜ ❨953❩ ❛ Failure cloaked me like a mantle, it overwhelmed me, dragged me under and I gave up hope. ❜ ❨954❩ ❛ It’s an odd thing to say, but I think this all the time; I don’t feel bad enough. ❜ ❨955❩ ❛ Some battles aren’t worth fighting. ❜ ❨956❩ ❛ I never felt guilty. I pretended I did. I had to. ❜ ❨957❩ ❛ I never meant for any of this to happen, we fell in love, what could we do? ❜ ❨958❩ ❛ What bothers me most is that I haven’t got to the end of my story, and I can’t start over with someone else, it’s too hard. ❜ ❨959❩ ❛ A person is, among all else, a material thing, easily torn and not easily mended. ❜ ❨960❩ ❛ It isn’t only wickedness and scheming that make people unhappy, it is confusion and misunderstanding. ❜ ❨961❩ ❛ Falling in love can be achieved in a single word—a glance. ❜ ❨962❩ ❛ Though you think the world is at your feet, it can rise up and tread on you. ❜ ❨963❩ ❛ I’ve never had a moment’s doubt. I love you. I believe in you completely. You are my dearest one. My reason for life. ❜ ❨964❩ ❛ It might hurt, it is horribly inconvenient, no good might come of it, but it is what it is to be in love. ❜ ❨965❩ ❛ It was always an impossible task, and that was precisely the point. ❜ ❨966❩ ❛ Come back, come back to me. ❜ ❨967❩ ❛ In my thoughts I make love to you all day long. ❜ ❨968❩ ❛ The truth is I feel rather light headed and foolish in your presence and I don’t think I can blame the heat. ❜ ❨969❩ ❛ Beauty occupies a narrow band. Ugliness, on the other hand, has infinite variation. ❜ ❨970❩ ❛ Is there any meaning in my life that the inevitable death awaiting me does not destroy? ❜ ❨971❩ ❛ However, withered, I still feel myself to be exactly the same person I’ve always been. ❜ ❨972❩ ❛ Hate is a feeling as pure as love, but dispassionate and icily rational. ❜ ❨973❩ ❛ I’m going mad. Let me not be mad. ❜ ❨974❩ ❛ Is everyone really as alive as I am? ❜ ❨975❩ ❛ Every now and then, quite unintentionally, someone teaches you something about yourself. ❜ ❨976❩ ❛ Something has happened, hasn’t it? ❜ ❨977❩ ❛ I like to think that it isn’t weakness or evasion, but a final act of kindness. ❜ ❨978❩ ❛ Is it possible that I am, in the modern term, in denial? ❜ ❨979❩ ❛ How could anyone presume to know the world through the eyes of an insect? ❜ ❨980❩ ❛ Not everything has a cause. Some things are simply so. ❜ ❨981❩ ❛ I’ll be quite honest with you. I’m torn between breaking your neck here and throwing you down the stairs. ❜ ❨982❩ ❛ How old do you have to be before you know the difference between right and wrong? ❜ ❨983❩ ❛ It was never meant to be read. ❜ ❨984❩ ❛ If I fell in the river, would you save me? ❜ ❨985❩ ❛ That was an incredibly bloody stupid thing to do. ❜ ❨986❩ ❛ I want to thank you for saving my life. I’ll be eternally grateful to you. ❜ ❨987❩ ❛ I’m very, very sorry for the terrible distress that I have caused. I’m very, very sorry. ❜ ❨988❩ ❛ Don’t call me that! – Please don’t call me that. ❜ ❨989❩ ❛ It may be the wrong decision, but fuck it, it’s mine. ❜ ❨990❩ ❛ Like patience, passion comes from the same Latin root: pati. It does not mean to flow with exuberance. It means to suffer. ❜ ❨991❩ ❛ No one ever really gets used to nightmares. ❜ ❨992❩ ❛ I still get nightmares. In fact, I get them so often I should be used to them by now. I’m not. ❜ ❨993❩ ❛ Sublime is something you choke on after a shot of tequila. ❜ ❨994❩ ❛ Some people reflect light, some deflect it, you by some miracle, seem to collect it. ❜ ❨995❩ ❛ Beautiful women are always drawn to men they think will keep them beautiful. ❜ ❨996❩ ❛ The ruminations are mine, let the world be yours. ❜ ❨997❩ ❛ You will fulfil a promise I made years ago but failed to keep. ❜ ❨998❩ ❛ Darkness never satisfies. Especially if it takes something away which it almost always invariably does. ❜ ❨999❩ ❛ I want something else. I’m not even sure what to call it anymore. ❜ ❨1000❩ ❛ What can I say, I’m a sucker for abandoned stuff, misplaced stuff, forgotten stuff, any old stuff. ❜ ❨1001❩ ❛ Is it possible to love something so much, you imagine it wants to destroy you only because it has denied you? ❜ ❨1002❩ ❛ It’s just silent, no sound at all. It’s like something’s waiting. ❜ ❨1003❩ ❛ I guess I’m hoping the weapons will make me feel better, grant me some kind of fucking control. ❜ ❨1004❩ ❛ Oh and something else: – Fuck you. ❜ ❨1005❩ ❛ God I’ve never been afraid like this. ❜ ❨1006❩ ❛ I miss you. I love you. There’s no second I’ve lived that you can’t call your own. ❜ ❨1007❩ ❛ I’m so tired. Sleep’s been stalking me for too long to remember. Inevitable I suppose. ❜ ❨1008❩ ❛ Not seeing the rip doesn’t mean you automatically get to keep clear of the Hey-I’m-Bleeding part. ❜ ❨1009❩ ❛ These days fantasies flourish and die like summer flies. ❜ ❨1010❩ ❛ Yeah I know, I know. This shit’s getting ridiculous. ❜ ❨1011❩ ❛ ‘Fuck’ and 'fall for’ have very different meanings. The first one you do as much as you can. The second one you never ever, ever do. ❜ ❨1012❩ ❛ It’s a nice idea but it reeks of hope. False hope. ❜ ❨1013❩ ❛ It’s, well…one thing in two words: fucked up…very fucked up. Okay three words, four words, who the hell cares…very very fucked up. ❜ ❨1014❩ ❛ Do you think I could spend the night at your place? ❜ ❨1015❩ ❛ Any fool can pray. ❜ ❨1016❩ ❛ I feel like I haven’t slept in months. My neighbours are scared of me. ❜ ❨1017❩ ❛ I’ve lost my mind? Maybe, maybe, maybe. Maybe I’m just really drunk. ❜ ❨1018❩ ❛ Perhaps by cleaning out my system I’ll come to a clearing where I can ease myself into peace. ❜ ❨1019❩ ❛ I should be dead. Why am I still here? ❜ ❨1020❩ ❛ Fuck if I know. Your guess is as good as mine. ❜ ❨1021❩ ❛ You are my flesh. You are my bones. I know you too well. I read you too perfectly. ❜ ❨1022❩ ❛ Not all complex problems have easy solutions. ❜ ❨1023❩ ❛ Do you believe in God? I don’t think I ever asked you that one. ❜ ❨1024❩ ❛ We all create stories to protect ourselves. ❜ ❨1025❩ ❛ Are you kidding me? This place is scary. ❜ ❨1026❩ ❛ These days the only thing that gets me outside is when I say: Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck you. Fuck me. Fuck this. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. ❜ ❨1027❩ ❛ You like that crap because it reminds you of you. ❜ ❨1028❩ ❛ You may suddenly realise things are not how you perceived them to be at all. ❜ ❨1029❩ ❛ The two hardest tests are the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage not to be disappointed with what we encounter. ❜ ❨1030❩ ❛ People never learn anything by being told, they have to find out for themselves. ❜ ❨1031❩ ❛ Be crazy! But learn how to be crazy without being the center of attention. Be brave enough to live different. ❜ ❨1032❩ ❛ You are someone who is different, but who wants to be the same as everyone else. And that in my view is a serious illness. ❜ ❨1033❩ ❛ God chose you to be different. ❜ ❨1034❩ ❛ Why are you disappointing God with this kind of attitude? ❜ ❨1035❩ ❛ You have two choices, to control your mind or to let your mind control you. ❜ ❨1036❩ ❛ Everyone is indeed crazy, but the craziest are the ones who don't know they're crazy; they just keep repeating what others tell them to. ❜ ❨1037❩ ❛ Haven't you learned anything, not even with the approach of death? ❜ ❨1038❩ ❛ If people don't like it, they can complain. And if they don't have the courage to complain, that's their problem. ❜ ❨1039❩ ❛ Nothing in this world happens by chance. ❜ ❨1040❩ ❛ I want to continue living my life the way I dream it, and not the way the other people want it to be. ❜ ❨1041❩ ❛ Be like the fountain that overflows, not like the cistern that merely contains. ❜ ❨1042❩ ❛ Collective madness is called sanity. ❜ ❨1043❩ ❛ Consider each day a miracle - which indeed it is, when you consider the number of unexpected things that could happen in each second of our fragile existences. ❜ ❨1044❩ ❛ You say they create their own reality, but what is reality? ❜ ❨1045❩ ❛ Many people don't allow themselves to love because there are a lot of things at risk. A lot of future and a lot of past. ❜ ❨1046❩ ❛ Death frees from the fear of dying. ❜ ❨1047❩ ❛ The danger of an adventure is worth a thousand days of ease and comfort. ❜ ❨1048❩ ❛ The happier people can be, the unhappier they are. ❜ ❨1049❩ ❛ Life is always a matter of waiting for the right moment to act. ❜ ❨1050❩ ❛ It's best to accept life as it really is and not as you imagined it to be. ❜ ❨1051❩ ❛ You don't seem mad at all. ❜ ❨1052❩ ❛ We’re allowed to make a lot of mistakes in our lives, except the mistake that destroys us. ❜ ❨1053❩ ❛ You’re what you are, not what others make of you. ❜ ❨1054❩ ❛ Am I cured? ❜ ❨1055❩ ❛ Real love changes and grows with time and discovers new ways of expressing itself. ❜ ❨1056❩ ❛ A lot of people think something is right, and so that thing becomes right. Is that it? ❜ ❨1057❩ ❛ They think they're normal, because they all do the same thing. ❜ ❨1058❩ ❛ I didn't know that other ‘me’s existed inside me, ‘Me’s that I could love. ❜ ❨1059❩ ❛ I have no idea what's awaiting me. ❜ ❨1060❩ ❛ What will happen when this all ends? ❜ ❨1061❩ ❛ I know that you are capable of great deeds. ❜ ❨1062❩ ❛ A loveless world is a dead world, and always there comes an hour when one is weary of prisons, of one's work, and of devotion to duty, and all one craves for is a loved face, the warmth and wonder of a loving heart. ❜ ❨1063❩ ❛ The truth is that everyone is bored. ❜ ❨1064❩ ❛ I feel more fellowship with the defeated than with saints. Heroism and sanctity don't really appeal to me, I imagine. ❜ ❨1065❩ ❛ If there is one thing one can always yearn for, and sometimes attain, it is human love. ❜ ❨1066❩ ❛ Who would dare to assert that eternal happiness can compensate for even a single moment's suffering? ❜ ❨1067❩ ❛ It's not easy. I've been thinking it over for years. ❜ ❨1068❩ ❛ While we loved each other we didn't need words to make ourselves understood. ❜ ❨1069❩ ❛ People are more often bad than good. ❜ ❨1070❩ ❛ I don't believe in heroism; I know it's easy and I've learned that it can be murderous. ❜ ❨1071❩ ❛ What interests me is living and dying for what one loves. ❜ ❨1072❩ ❛ In fact, nobody is capable of really thinking about anyone, even in the worst calamity. ❜ ❨1073❩ ❛ Nothing in the world is worth turning one's back on what one loves. ❜ ❨1074❩ ❛ Again and again there comes a time in history when the man who dares to say that two and two make four is punished with death. ❜ ❨1075❩ ❛ There are more things to admire in men then to despise. ❜ ❨1076❩ ❛ It is in the thick of calamity that one gets hardened to the truth - in other words, to silence. ❜ ❨1077❩ ❛ What on earth prompted you to take a hand in this? ❜ ❨1078❩ ❛ Your code of morals? What code, if I may ask? ❜ ❨1079❩ ❛ I'm fumbling in the dark, struggling to make something out. But I've long ceased finding anything. ❜ ❨1080❩ ❛ No doubt our love is still there, but quite simply it is unusable, heavy to carry, inert inside of us, sterile as crime or condemnation. ❜ ❨1081❩ ❛ I’m not happy to go, but one needn't be happy to make another start. ❜ ❨1082❩ ❛ I am incapable of suffering for a long time, or being happy for a long time. Which means that I am incapable of anything really worth while. ❜ ❨1083❩ ❛ I should have found the words to keep her with me. ❜ ❨1084❩ ❛ We can't stir a finger in this world without the risk of bringing death to somebody. ❜ ❨1085❩ ❛ The evil that is in the world comes out of ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence, if they lack understanding. ❜ ❨1086❩ ❛ There are always flies and itches. That’s why life is difficult to live. ❜ ❨1087❩ ❛ The best protection against anything is a good bottle of wine. ❜ ❨1088❩ ❛ There is no peace without hope. ❜ ❨1089❩ ❛ It's enough for me to be sure that you and I exist at this moment. ❜ ❨1090❩ ❛ There is always something left to love. ❜ ❨1091❩ ❛ A person doesn’t die when he should but when he can. ❜ ❨1092❩ ❛ Things have a life of their own. It's simply a matter of waking up their souls. ❜ ❨1093❩ ❛ Tell me something: why are you fighting? ❜ ❨1094❩ ❛ I've come to realise only just now that I'm fighting because of pride. ❜ ❨1095❩ ❛ One minute of reconciliation is worth more than a whole life of friendship. ❜ ❨1096❩ ❛ It's better than not knowing why you're fighting. Or fighting, like you, for something that doesn't have any meaning for anyone. ❜ ❨1097❩ ❛ Holy Mother of God! ❜ ❨1098❩ ❛ A person does not belong to a place until there is someone dead under the ground. ❜ ❨1099❩ ❛ I was born a son of a bitch and I'm going to die a son of a bitch. ❜ ❨1100❩ ❛ Bad luck doesn't have any chinks in it. ❜ ❨1101❩ ❛ I plead youth as a mitigating circumstance. ❜ ❨1102❩ ❛ Get those bad thoughts out of your head. You're going to be happy. ❜ ❨1103❩ ❛ Children inherit their parents' madness. ❜ ❨1104❩ ❛ I'll turn to ashes in here but I won't give this miserable town the pleasure of seeing me weep. ❜ ❨1105❩ ❛ You would be good in a war. Where you put your eye, you put your bullet. ❜ ❨1106❩ ❛ Men demand much more than you think. ❜ ❨1107❩ ❛ Even the craziest and most persistent love is just a temporary truth. ❜ ❨1108❩ ❛ If we’re alone you can whisper in my ear any crap you can think of. ❜ ❨1109❩ ❛ You have taken this horrible game very seriously and you have done well because you are doing your duty. ❜ ❨1110❩ ❛ We have the right to pull down your pants and give you a whipping at the first sign of disrespect. ❜ ❨1111❩ ❛ What worries me is not your shooting me, because after all, for people like us it's a natural death. ❜ ❨1112❩ ❛ What worries me is that you've ended up as bad as they are. ❜ ❨1113❩ ❛ It is characteristic of men to deny hunger once their appetites are satisfied. ❜ ❨1114❩ ❛ Dying is much more difficult than one imagines. ❜ ❨1115❩ ❛ If you have to go crazy, please go crazy all by yourself! ❜ ❨1116❩ ❛ We have still not had a death. ❜ ❨1117❩ ❛ How awful, the way time passes. ❜ ❨1118❩ ❛ You may be in command of your war, but I'm in command of my house. ❜ ❨1119❩ ❛ I missed you every hour. ❜ ❨1120❩ ❛ You know what the worst part was? It caught me completely by surprise. ❜ ❨1121❩ ❛ I’ve risked my life for you. ❜ ❨1122❩ ❛ The problem with wanting is that it makes us weak. ❜ ❨1123❩ ❛ I love you, even the part of you that loved him. ❜ ❨1124❩ ❛ I’m sorry it took me so long to see you. ❜ ❨1125❩ ❛ I never really belonged anywhere. ❜ ❨1126❩ ❛ Thanks for being my best friend and making my life bearable. ❜ ❨1127❩ ❛ Thanks for finding me. ❜ ❨1128❩ ❛ You and I are going to change the world. ❜ ❨1129❩ ❛ I’ve been waiting for you a long time. ❜ ❨1130❩ ❛ I’m not used to people trying to kill me. ❜ ❨1131❩ ❛ You’re shaking. ❜ ❨1132❩ ❛ There's nothing wrong with being a lizard. Unless you were born to be a hawk. ❜ ❨1133❩ ❛ Make me your villain. ❜ ❨1134❩ ❛ Just you and me. It’s always just you and me. ❜ ❨1135❩ ❛ Do you blame me for every mistake I made? For every dumb thing I’ve said? ❜ ❨1136❩ ❛ Well, if it gets too bad, give me a signal. ❜ ❨1137❩ ❛ Did you tell him what I showed you in the dark? ❜ ❨1138❩ ❛ Did you miss me when you were gone? ❜ ❨1139❩ ❛ What is infinite? The universe and the greed of men. ❜ ❨1140❩ ❛ You’re interfering with my plan. ❜ ❨1141❩ ❛ Too much champagne? ❜ ❨1142❩ ❛ I hope you don’t expect fairness from me. It isn’t one of my specialties. ❜ ❨1143❩ ❛ There is something more powerful than any army. Something strong enough to topple kings. Faith. ❜ ❨1144❩ ❛ All you said was that I had to kill you. You didn’t say how. ❜ ❨1145❩ ❛ What is she? She’s everything, you dumb son of a bitch. ❜ ❨1146❩ ❛ She’s an ugly little thing. No child should look like that. Pale and sour, like a glass of milk that’s turned. ❜ ❨1147❩ ❛ I wouldn’t make that mistake again. ❜ ❨1148❩ ❛ It’s a great honor, to save a life. You saved many. ❜ ❨1149❩ ❛ In this world, there are things you can only do alone. ❜ ❨1150❩ ❛ What seems like a reasonable distance to one person might feel too far to somebody else. ❜ ❨1151❩ ❛ If you really want to know something, you have to be willing to pay the price. ❜ ❨1152❩ ❛ Why should you be interested in me? ❜ ❨1153❩ ❛ I have been told I've got a darkish personality. A few times. ❜ ❨1154❩ ❛ It's not as if our lives are divided simply into light and dark. There's shadowy middle ground. ❜ ❨1155❩ ❛ I'll write to you. A super-long letter, like in an old-fashioned novel. ❜ ❨1156❩ ❛ The spotlight doesn't suit me. I'm more of a side dish. ❜ ❨1157❩ ❛ The ground we stand on looks solid enough, but if something happens it can drop right out from under you. ❜ ❨1158❩ ❛ So once you're dead there's just nothing? ❜ ❨1159❩ ❛ If only I could fall sound asleep and wake up in my old reality. ❜ ❨1160❩ ❛ Is action merely the incidental product of thought, or is thought the consequential product of action? ❜ ❨1161❩ ❛ Nobody can shake off their own shadow. ❜ ❨1162❩ ❛ The silence is so deep it hurts. ❜ ❨1163❩ ❛ I may not look it, but I can be a very patient guy. ❜ ❨1164❩ ❛ Killing time is one of my specialities. ❜ ❨1165❩ ❛ You can't fight it. ❜ ❨1166❩ ❛ Tell me something,—do you believe in reincarnation? ❜ ❨1167❩ ❛ I can’t understand nothingness. I can’t understand it and I can’t imagine it. ❜ ❨1168❩ ❛ I can hardly breathe, and my whole body wants to shrink into a corner. ❜ ❨1169❩ ❛ I do have a few things wrong with me, but those are strictly problems I keep inside. ❜ ❨1170❩ ❛ I can't take it any more, I can't go on any more. ❜ ❨1171❩ ❛ You don't really have it together. ❜ ❨1172❩ ❛ Is it against the law for me to know it? ❜ ❨1173❩ ❛ I keep having the same dream. ❜ ❨1174❩ ❛ Are you asking because you really want an answer? ❜ ❨1175❩ ❛ I hate this! I don't want to be changed this way! ❜ ❨1176❩ ❛ No contradictions, no irony. They do everything according to numerical formulas. ❜ ❨1177❩ ❛ Want to hear the rest? If you’re not interested, I can stop. ❜ ❨1178❩ ❛ If I didn’t have these memories inside me, I would’ve snapped a long time ago. I would’ve curled up in a ditch somewhere and died. ❜ ❨1179❩ ❛ I don’t know what you’re feeling. I won’t even pretend. ❜ ❨1180❩ ❛ What are you doing here, honey? ❜ ❨1181❩ ❛ You're not even old enough to know how bad life gets. ❜ ❨1182❩ ❛ You don't understand me. ❜ ❨1183❩ ❛ All wisdom ends in paradox. ❜ ❨1184❩ ❛ It is love that overthrows empire. Love that binds two hearts together, come hellfire & brimstone. ❜ ❨1185❩ ❛ I have lost my gift. ❜ ❨1186❩ ❛ Winter is the season of alcoholism and despair. ❜ ❨1187❩ ❛ The seeds of death get lost in the mess that God made us. ❜ ❨1188❩ ❛ They're just memories now. It’s time to forget. ❜ ❨1189❩ ❛ The time has to be right and the heart willing. ❜ ❨1190❩ ❛ The world, a tired performer, offers us another half-assed season. ❜ ❨1191❩ ❛ Capitalism has resulted in material well-being but spiritual bankruptcy. ❜ ❨1192❩ ❛ Grief is natural, overcoming it is a matter of choice. ❜ ❨1193❩ ❛ I want out of that decorating scheme. ❜ ❨1194❩ ❛ With most people suicide is like Russian roulette. Only one chamber has a bullet. ❜ ❨1195❩ ❛ You never get over it but you get where it doesn't bother you so much. ❜ ❨1196❩ ❛ Don't waste your time on life. ❜ ❨1197❩ ❛ I'm a teenager. I've got problems! ❜ ❨1198❩ ❛ Adolescents tend to seek love where they can find it. ❜ ❨1199❩ ❛ Obviously, you've never been a thirteen-year-old girl. ❜ ❨1200❩ ❛ It was a mistake. ❜ ❨1201❩ ❛ It seemed like we were supposed to feel sorry for everything that ever happened, ever. ❜ ❨1202❩ ❛ Buffeted but not broken. ❜ ❨1203❩ ❛ Shit. What have kids got to be worried about now? ❜ ❨1204❩ ❛ If they want trouble, they should go live in Bangladesh. ❜ ❨1205❩ ❛ I can't wait until I get out of here. ❜ ❨1206❩ ❛ When she jumped she probably thought she’d fly. ❜ ❨1207❩ ❛ I do not think the patient truly meant to end her life. Her act was a cry for help. ❜ ❨1208❩ ❛ You're a stone fox. ❜ ❨1209❩ ❛ It was love at first sight, at last sight, at ever and ever sight. ❜ ❨1210❩ ❛ Light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. ❜ ❨1211❩ ❛ He broke my heart. You merely broke my life. ❜ ❨1212❩ ❛ I'm sorry to have deceived you so much, but that's how life is. ❜ ❨1213❩ ❛ Words without experience are meaningless. ❜ ❨1214❩ ❛ I loved you. I was a monster, but I loved you. ❜ ❨1215❩ ❛ Come just as you are. ❜ ❨1216❩ ❛ If a violin string could ache, i would be that string. ❜ ❨1217❩ ❛ Perhaps, somewhere, some day, at a less miserable time, we may see each other again. ❜ ❨1218❩ ❛ What's so dreadful about dying is that you are completely on your own. ❜ ❨1219❩ ❛ Don't touch me; I'll die if you touch me. ❜ ❨1220❩ ❛ You took advantage of my disadvantage. ❜ ❨1221❩ ❛ I walk in a maze I cannot get out of. ❜ ❨1222❩ ❛ Life is just one small piece of light between two eternal darknesses. ❜ ❨1223❩ ❛ Imagine me; I shall not exist if you do not imagine me. ❜ ❨1224❩ ❛ There is no harm in smiling. ❜ ❨1225❩ ❛ There is no point in staying here. There is no point in staying anywhere. ❜ ❨1226❩ ❛ There is nothing more atrociously cruel than an adored child. ❜ ❨1227❩ ❛ I am so tired of being cynical. ❜ ❨1228❩ ❛ Come to live with me, and die with me, and everything with me. ❜ ❨1229❩ ❛ This is the only immortality that you and I may share. ❜ ❨1230❩ ❛ I loved her more than anything I had ever seen or imagined on earth, or hoped for anywhere else. ❜ ❨1231❩ ❛ I was despicable and brutal, and turpid, and everything, mais je t’aimais, je t’aimais! ❜ ❨1232❩ ❛ Years of secret suffering has taught me superhuman self-control. ❜ ❨1233❩ ❛ Solitude is corrupting me. I need company and care. ❜ ❨1234❩ ❛ I've missed you terribly. ❜ ❨1235❩ ❛ I've been revoltingly unfaithful to you. ❜ ❨1236❩ ❛ It doesn't matter a bit, because you've stopped caring anyway. ❜ ❨1237❩ ❛ What makes you say I've stopped caring for you? ❜ ❨1238❩ ❛ Nowadays you have to be a scientist if you want to be a killer. ❜ ❨1239❩ ❛ The sun climbs high in the sky, then starts down. People come, then go. ❜ ❨1240❩ ❛ Tell me, have you ever thought of killing me? ❜ ❨1241❩ ❛ I can not believe you are the same human being. ❜ ❨1242❩ ❛ Just how urgent is it? ❜ ❨1243❩ ❛ It is time for you to be going. ❜ ❨1244❩ ❛ How is it you know something like that? ❜ ❨1245❩ ❛ I don’t mind. Your mess is my mess. ❜ ❨1246❩ ❛ Everybody has one thing they do not want to lose. ❜ ❨1247❩ ❛ I’ll be late tonight, so don’t wait up for me. ❜ ❨1248❩ ❛ Nothing I’ve tried to do by myself has ever come off. ❜ ❨1249❩ ❛ I am not catching you in the middle of anything important, am I? ❜ ❨1250❩ ❛ Some things are forgotten, some things disappear, some things die. ❜ ❨1251❩ ❛ My biggest fault is that the faults I was born with grow bigger each year. ❜ ❨1252❩ ❛ To get irritated is to lose our way in life. ❜ ❨1253❩ ❛ A friend to kill time is a friend sublime. ❜ ❨1254❩ ❛ I don't really know if it's the right thing to do. ❜ ❨1255❩ ❛ Faster cars and more cats run over? Who needs it? ❜ ❨1256❩ ❛ Most of everything you think you know about me is nothing more than memories. ❜ ❨1257❩ ❛ Your fate is and will always be the fate of a dreamer. ❜ ❨1258❩ ❛ You’re loads better than you think you are. ❜ ❨1259❩ ❛ You’re only half-living, the other half is still untapped somewhere. ❜ ❨1260❩ ❛ The song is over. But the melody lingers on. ❜ ❨1261❩ ❛ You are extraordinary. ❜ ❨1262❩ ❛ We tend to fool ourselves into thinking that time is our size, but it really goes on and on. ❜ ❨1263❩ ❛ It could be five years or ten years or one month. It's all the same. ❜ ❨1264❩ ❛ I’m forever realising things too late. ❜ ❨1265❩ ❛ I’m not complaining when I say my life is boring. ❜ ❨1266❩ ❛ Weakness is something that rots in the body. ❜ ❨1267❩ ❛ Coming from your mouth, it has the ring of truth, but I doubt anyone would believe me if I told them. ❜ ❨1268❩ ❛ You can't expect something unreal to last anyway, can you? ❜ ❨1269❩ ❛ A wise man does not step betwixt the beast and his meat. ❜ ❨1270❩ ❛ So, kill me. Tell the others I attacked you so you killed me. ❜ ❨1271❩ ❛ Should never have come here. ❜ ❨1272❩ ❛ Hard to guess my tastes. ❜ ❨1273❩ ❛ Can’t it wait until the morning? ❜ ❨1274❩ ❛ You’ll find temper tantrums won’t help you here. ❜ ❨1275❩ ❛ It must have taken courage to return. ❜ ❨1276❩ ❛ It all sounds grimly dystopian. ❜ ❨1277❩ ❛ I am not afraid of you! ❜ ❨1278❩ ❛ All this could be avoided! ❜ ❨1279❩ ❛ You consider me a murderer? ❜ ❨1280❩ ❛ Gross way to die. ❜ ❨1281❩ ❛ What sparks wars? The will to power, the backbone of human nature. ❜ ❨1282❩ ❛ My life amounts to no more than one drop in a limitless ocean. Yet what is any ocean, but a multitude of drops? ❜ ❨1283❩ ❛ Our lives are not our own. We are bound to others. ❜ ❨1284❩ ❛ I believe there is another world waiting for us. A better world. And I'll be waiting for you there. ❜ ❨1285❩ ❛ You are allowed to feel messed up and inside out. It doesn't mean you're defective - it just means you're human. ❜ ❨1286❩ ❛ Power, time, gravity, love. The forces that really kick ass are all invisible. ❜ ❨1287❩ ❛ Unlimited power in the hands of limited people always leads to cruelty. ❜ ❨1288❩ ❛ Truth is singular. Its 'versions' are mistruths. ❜ ❨1289❩ ❛ Dreams are all I have ever truly owned. ❜ ❨1290❩ ❛ Your version of the truth is the only thing that matters. ❜ ❨1291❩ ❛ I believe death is only a door. One closes, and another opens. ❜ ❨1292❩ ❛ By each crime and every kindness, we birth our future. ❜ ❨1293❩ ❛ The healthy can't understand the emptied, the broken. ❜ ❨1294❩ ❛ Lying's wrong, but when the world spins backwards, a small wrong may be a big right. ❜ ❨1295❩ ❛ The weak are meat the strong do eat. ❜ ❨1296❩ ❛ Do whatever you can't not do. ❜ ❨1297❩ ❛ What precipitates outcomes? Vicious acts & virtuous acts. ❜ ❨1298❩ ❛ I remain thankful to God for all his mercies. ❜ ❨1299❩ ❛ You can maintain power over people, as long as you give them something. Rob a man of everything, and that man will no longer be in your power. ❜ ❨1300❩ ❛ Power. The ability to determine another man's luck. ❜ ❨1301❩ ❛ Pain is strong, aye - but friends' eyes, more strong. ❜ ❨1302❩ ❛ Perhaps those deprived of beauty perceive it most instinctively. ❜ ❨1303❩ ❛ Why ask a question whose answer would demand ten more questions? ❜ ❨1304❩ ❛ You can’t lie to your soul. ❜ ❨1305❩ ❛ Why would I want to do a thing like that? ❜ ❨1306❩ ❛ We start off with high hopes, then we bottle it. ❜ ❨1307❩ ❛ Better to make life as complete and enjoyable an experience as possible, in case death is shite, which I suspect it will be. ❜ ❨1308❩ ❛ I’m not running away, I’m moving on. ❜ ❨1309❩ ❛ The reasons? There are no reasons. ❜ ❨1310❩ ❛ Some people are easier to love when you don’t have to be around them. ❜ ❨1311❩ ❛ Love does not exist. ❜ ❨1312❩ ❛ Fuck that ‘regrets’ bullshit. ❜ ❨1313❩ ❛ How does it make you feel? ❜ ❨1314❩ ❛ It’s horrible how we always die alone, but no worse than living alone. ❜ ❨1315❩ ❛ Choose us. Choose life. ❜ ❨1316❩ ❛ You fucking knew that fucking cunt would fuck some cunt. ❜ ❨1317❩ ❛ I’m more of a warrior than you’ll ever be. ❜ ❨1318❩ ❛ What does that make us? The lowest of the low, the scum of the earth. ❜ ❨1319❩ ❛ You don’t have to run away. ❜ ❨1320❩ ❛ I tried to stop because it was only causing pain. I couldn’t. ❜ ❨1321❩ ❛ I’m not going to get crushed. ❜ ❨1322❩ ❛ I love doubt in a woman. It’s nearly as sexy as determination. ❜ ❨1323❩ ❛ Take your best orgasm, multiply the feeling by twenty. ❜ ❨1324❩ ❛ You’re a mess. ❜ ❨1325❩ ❛ I know that it’s never left you alone. ❜ ❨1326❩ ❛ Are you asking me or telling me? ❜ ❨1327❩ ❛ You just get used to all the shit. ❜ ❨1328❩ ❛ You can’t afford a conscience in this life. ❜ ❨1329❩ ❛ None of us are saints and scapegoats are always handy. ❜ ❨1330❩ ❛ Doing things doesn’t hurt you; you get hurt by avoiding them. ❜ ❨1331❩ ❛ What was that? ❜ ❨1332❩ ❛ Protect me from those who wish to help us. ❜ ❨1333❩ ❛ You can’t love yourself if you want to hurt things like that. ❜ ❨1334❩ ❛ What happens when people open their hearts? ❜ ❨1335❩ ❛ Nobody likes being alone that much. ❜ ❨1336❩ ❛ I don’t go out of my way to make friends, that’s all. It just leads to disappointment.” ❨1337❩ ❛ Don’t feel sorry for yourself. Only assholes do that. ❜ ❨1338❩ ❛ You need to grab whatever chance you have of happiness where you find it, and not worry about other people too much. ❜ ❨1339❩ ❛ I want you always to remember me. ❜ ❨1340❩ ❛ Despite your best efforts, people are going to be hurt when it’s time for them to be hurt. ❜ ❨1341❩ ❛ What stays in your heart will stay; keep them, and what vanishes will vanish. ❜ ❨1342❩ ❛ All I want in this world is you. ❜ ❨1343❩ ❛ I want the two of us to begin everything from the beginning. ❜ ❨1344❩ ❛ No truth can cure the sorrow we feel from losing a loved one. ❜ ❨1345❩ ❛ What a terrible thing it is to wound someone you really care for and to do it so unconsciously. ❜ ❨1346❩ ❛ If you’re in pitch blackness, all you can do is sit tight until your eyes get used to the dark. ❜ ❨1347❩ ❛ I’ve had enough hurt already in my life. More than enough. Now I want to be happy. ❜ ❨1348❩ ❛ People leave strange little memories of themselves behind when they die. ❜ ❨1349❩ ❛ Stop eating yourself up alive. Things will go where they’re supposed to go if you just let them take their natural course. ❜ ❨1350❩ ❛ When your feelings build up and harden and die inside, then you’re in big trouble. ❜ ❨1351❩ ❛ When you fall in love, the natural thing to do is give yourself to it. ❜ ❨1352❩ ❛ If I have left a wound inside you, it is not just your wound but mine as well. ❜ ❨1353❩ ❛ Hey, what is it with you? Why are you so spaced out? You still haven’t answered me. ❜ ❨1354❩ ❛ People are strange when you’re a stranger. ❜ ❨1355❩ ❛ The dead will always be dead, but we have to go on living. ❜ ❨1356❩ ❛ You don’t get it, do you? ❜ ❨1357❩ ❛ I am a flawed human being - a far more flawed human being than you ❨1358❩ realise. ❜ ❨1359❩ ❛ At least let me know whether or not I hurt you. ❜ ❨1360❩ ❛ All of us are imperfect human beings living in an imperfect world. ❜ ❨1361❩ ❛ I’ve never once thought about how I was going to die. ❜ ❨1362❩ ❛ So I’m not crazy after all! ❜ ❨1363❩ ❛ I miss you terribly sometimes, but in general I go on living with all the energy I can muster. ❜ ❨1364❩ ❛ Will you wait for me forever? ❜ ❨1365❩ ❛ I don’t want our relationship to end like this. ❜ ❨1366❩ ❛ When am I going to be able to talk to you? I want you to tell me that much, at least. ❜ ❨1367❩ ❛ It hurts not being able to see you. ❜ ❨1368❩ ❛ I’m not totally mad at you. I’m just sad. ❜ ❨1369❩ ❛ The world is an inherently unfair place. ❜ ❨1370❩ ❛ Life frightens me sometimes. I don’t happen to take that as the premise for everything else though. ❜ ❨1371❩ ❛ I’m a real bargain, don’t you think? If you don’t take me, I’ll end up going somewhere else. ❜ ❨1372❩ ❛ We’re all kind of weird and twisted and drowning. ❜ ❨1373❩ ❛ Don’t you think it would be wonderful to get rid of everything and everybody and just go some place where you don’t know a soul? ❜ ❨1374❩ ❛ You’re not telling me anything I don’t know already. ❜ ❨1375❩ ❛ He who controls the past controls the future. He who controls the present controls the past. ❜ ❨1376❩ ❛ If you want to keep a secret, you must also hide it from yourself. ❜ ❨1377❩ ❛ We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness. ❜ ❨1378❩ ❛ Until they become conscious they will never rebel. ❜ ❨1379❩ ❛ Power is not a means; it is an end. ❜ ❨1380❩ ❛ They are not interested in the good of others; they are interested solely in power, pure power. ❜ ❨1381❩ ❛ Now you begin to understand me. ❜ ❨1382❩ ❛ In the face of pain there are no heroes. ❜ ❨1383❩ ❛ Big Brother is watching you. ❜ ❨1384❩ ❛ Power is tearing human minds to pieces and putting them together again in new shapes of your own choosing. ❜ ❨1385❩ ❛ It’s a beautiful thing, the destruction of words. ❜ ❨1386❩ ❛ The choice for mankind lies between freedom and happiness and for the great bulk of mankind, happiness is better. ❜ ❨1387❩ ❛ Your mind appeals to me. It resembles my own mind. ❜ ❨1388❩ ❛ Reality exists in the human mind, and nowhere else. ❜ ❨1389❩ ❛ We do not merely destroy our enemies; we change them. ❜ ❨1390❩ ❛ How can I help it? How can I help but see what is in front of my eyes? ❜ ❨1391❩ ❛ You must try harder. ❜ ❨1392❩ ❛ Confession is not betrayal. ❜ ❨1393❩ ❛ What you say or do doesn’t matter; only feelings matter. ❜ ❨1394❩ ❛ If they could make me stop loving you —- that would be the real betrayal. ❜ ❨1395❩ ❛ Of pain you can wish only one thing: that it should stop. ❜ ❨1396❩ ❛ To die hating them, that will be freedom. ❜ ❨1397❩ ❛ No one ever seizes power with the intention of relinquishing it. ❜ ❨1398❩ ❛ What can you do against the lunatic who is more intelligent than yourself? ❜ ❨1399❩ ❛ To keep them in control is not difficult. ❜ ❨1400❩ ❛ So long as they are not permitted to have standards of comparison, they never even become aware that they are oppressed. ❜ ❨1401❩ ❛ The consequences of every act are included in the act itself. ❜ ❨1402❩ ❛ The essential act of war is destruction, not necessarily of human lives, but of the products of human labour. ❜ ❨1403❩ ❛ Stupidity is as necessary as intelligence, and as difficult to attain. ❜ ❨1404❩ ❛ I hate purity, I hate goodness! I don’t want virtue to exist anywhere. I want everyone to be corrupt to the bones. ❜ ❨1405❩ ❛ The past is dead, the future is unimaginable. ❜ ❨1406❩ ❛ You know the answer already. Everyone knows it. ❜ ❨1407❩ ❛ You don’t give a damn what they suffer. All you care is yourself. ❜ ❨1408❩ ❛ It is not easy to become sane. ❜ ❨1409❩ ❛ No emotion is pure anymore, because everything is mixed up with fear and hatred. ❜ ❨1410❩ ❛ They say that time heals all things —- they say you can always forget. ❜ ❨1411❩ ❛ The object of waging a war is always to be in a better position in which to wage another war. ❜ ❨1412❩ ❛ I sold you and you sold me. ❜ ❨1413❩ ❛ You do not exist. ❜ ❨1414❩ ❛ How does one man assert his power over another? By making him suffer. ❜ ❨1415❩ ❛ Obedience is not enough. Unless he is suffering, how can you be sure that he is obeying your will and not his own? ❜ ❨1416❩ ❛ Everything else we shall destroy – everything. ❜ ❨1417❩ ❛ Two and two makes five. ❜ ❨1418❩ ❛ Facts, at any rate, can not be kept hidden. ❜ ❨1419❩ ❛ The past is whatever the records and the memories agree upon. ❜ ❨1420❩ ❛ So long as human beings stay human, death and life are the same thing. ❜ ❨1421❩ ❛ If both the past and the external world exist only in the mind, and if the mind itself is controllable—what then? ❜ ❨1422❩ ❛ The lie became the truth. ❜ ❨1423❩ ❛ It is like swimming against a current that sweeps you backwards however hard you struggle. ❜ ❨1424❩ ❛ Turn round and go with the current instead of opposing it. ❜ ❨1425❩ ❛ It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything. ❜ ❨1426❩ ❛ I don’t want to die without any scars. ❜ ❨1427❩ ❛ This is your life and it’s ending one moment at a time. ❜ ❨1428❩ ❛ You know how they say you only hurt the ones you love? Well, it works both ways. ❜ ❨1429❩ ❛ You are not your job, you’re not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. ❜ ❨1430❩ ❛ You are not special. ❜ ❨1431❩ ❛ You’re not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You’re the same decaying organic matter as everything else. ❜ ❨1432❩ ❛ The things you used to own, now they own you. ❜ ❨1433❩ ❛ Today is the sort of day where the sun only comes up to humiliate you. ❜ ❨1434❩ ❛ Maybe we have to break everything to make something better out of ourselves. ❜ ❨1435❩ ❛ Only after disaster can we be resurrected. ❜ ❨1436❩ ❛ Everything is evolving, everything is falling apart. ❜ ❨1437❩ ❛ We’ve all been raised believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. ❜ ❨1438❩ ❛ Don’t you have other things to do? ❜ ❨1439❩ ❛ Prove you’re alive. If you don’t claim your humanity you will become a statistic. ❜ ❨1440❩ ❛ You have been warned. ❜ ❨1441❩ ❛ If you don’t know what you want, you end up with a lot you don’t. ❜ ❨1442❩ ❛ It’s not love or anything, but I think I like you, too. ❜ ❨1443❩ ❛ If I could wake up in a different place, at a different time, could I wake up as a different person? ❜ ❨1444❩ ❛ Why did I cause so much pain? ❜ ❨1445❩ ❛ The lower you fall, the higher you’ll fly. ❜ ❨1446❩ ❛ Maybe self-improvement isn’t the answer, maybe self-destruction is the answer. ❜ ❨1447❩ ❛ May I never be complete. May I never be content. May I never be perfect. ❜ ❨1448❩ ❛ Everyone smiles with that invisible gun to their head. ❜ ❨1449❩ ❛ We are not special. We are not crap or trash, either. We just are. We just are, and what happens just happens. ❜ ❨1450❩ ❛ The girl is infectious human waste. ❜ ❨1451❩ ❛ I want to destroy everything beautiful I’ll never have. ❜ ❨1452❩ ❛ On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero. ❜ ❨1453❩ ❛ If you could be either God’s worst enemy or nothing, which would you choose? ❜ ❨1454❩ ❛ It is like you’re never really awake; but you’re never really asleep. ❜ ❨1455❩ ❛ Worker bees can leave. Even drones can fly away. The Queen is their slave. ❜ ❨1456❩ ❛ A moment is the most you could ever expect from perfection. ❜ ❨1457❩ ❛ The people you’re trying to step on, we’re everyone you depend on. ❜ ❨1458❩ ❛ You have to give up! ❜ ❨1459❩ ❛ Reject the basic assumptions of civilisation, especially the importance of material possessions. ❜ ❨1460❩ ❛ Without pain, without sacrifice we would have nothing. ❜ ❨1461❩ ❛ You have to realise that someday you will die, Until you know that, you are useless. ❜ ❨1462❩ ❛ A tiger can smile. A snake will say it loves you. ❜ ❨1463❩ ❛ Lies make us evil. ❜ ❨1464❩ ❛ If you died right now, how would you feel about your life? ❜ ❨1465❩ ❛ You always kill the one you love. ❜ ❨1466❩ ❛ Maybe we should always assume the worst. ❜ ❨1467❩ ❛ Put a gun to my head and paint the wall with my brains. ❜ ❨1468❩ ❛ Which is worse? Hell or nothing? ❜ ❨1469❩ ❛ A minute of perfection is worth the effort. ❜ ❨1470❩ ❛ You’re going to die, tonight. You might die in one second or in one hour, you decide. ❜ ❨1471❩ ❛ Lie to me. Tell me the first thing off the top of your head. Make something up. ❜ ❨1472❩ ❛ I don’t give a shit. I have a gun. ❜ ❨1473❩ ❛ I know who you are. I know where you live. ❜ ❨1474❩ ❛ Tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of your life. ❜ ❨1475❩ ❛ My philosophy of life is that I can die at any moment. And the tragedy of my life is that I do not. ❜ ❨1476❩ ❛ Everything is so far away, a copy of a copy of a copy. You can’t touch anything and nothing can touch you. ❜ ❨1477❩ ❛ There are a lot of things we don’t want to know about the people we love. ❜ ❨1478❩ ❛ We just had a near-life experience. ❜ ❨1479❩ ❛ If people think you are dying, they give you their full attention. They listen instead of just waiting for their turn to speak. ❜ ❨1480❩ ❛ I am nothing, and not even that. ❜ ❨1481❩ ❛ This isn’t really death. —- We’ll be legends. We won’t grow old. ❜ ❨1482❩ ❛ Stop trying to control everything and just let go. Let go. ❜ ❨1483❩ ❛ The amazing miracle of death, when one second you’re walking and talking, and the next second you’re an object. ❜ ❨1484❩ ❛ Only if we’re caught and punished can we be saved. ❜ ❨1485❩ ❛ I never thought about how important the sky was until I didn't have one. ❜ ❨1486❩ ❛ Dreams are like that: they go in and out of memories and scenes, but they're never real. They're never real, and I hate them because they aren't. ❜ ❨1487❩ ❛ Power isn’t control at all — power is strength, and giving that strength to others. ❜ ❨1488❩ ❛ A leader isn’t someone who forces others to make him stronger. ❜ ❨1489❩ ❛ A leader is someone willing to give his strength to others that they may have the strength to stand on their own. ❜ ❨1490❩ ❛ In the end, we are alone. ❜ ❨1491❩ ❛ It is like a piece of my soul is lost, empty. ❜ ❨1492❩ ❛ If my life on Earth must end, let it end with a promise. Let it end with hope. ❜ ❨1493❩ ❛ Sorry? Sorry isn't enough. ❜ ❨1494❩ ❛ Every single thing I ever loved is beyond my reach now. Everything I ever wanted. Everything I ever was. ❜ ❨1495❩ ❛ Will you stay with me? ❜ ❨1496❩ ❛ A leader doesn't make pawns - he makes people. ❜ ❨1497❩ ❛ Do you hear that? The pulse of life from your heart, the slow in-and-out from your lungs? Even when you are silent, even when you block out all noise, your body is still a cacophony of life. Mine is not. ❜ ❨1498❩ ❛ It is the silence that drives me mad. The silence that drives the nightmares to me. ❜ ❨1499❩ ❛ There is nothing between us but rain. There is nothing between us at all. ❜ ❨1500❩ ❛ I like a little chaos. ❜

#sentence starters #generate sentence prompts #rp meme #roleplay prompt #roleplay meme #prompt for writing #rp prompt #send emoji meme #long tw

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nemrut · 3 years

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Epic Seven / Re: Zero Collab Units

So, a lot of units were revealed. Three five-star collab units and five three star regular units, and it is amusing to me that the three-star units are creating more buzz.

Since I am not a big Re: Zero fan, I am also more drawn to the three-star heroes, although, I have to say, the collab units seem solid so far.

Personally, I am mostly drawn to Emilia as of now, at least on paper, simply for her more offense oriented Soul Weaver kit. From what I remember, her kit doesn't really seem to work thematically for her all that much, or to her in show capabilities, but it works for the game.

So, Emilia. Her S1 gives healing based on her own max health to the ally with the lowest health. That's solid. Nothing too special but solid. Makes counter viable on her, similar to Destina only without the potential cleanse from the EE. With the right artifact, she can either heal one target with the same effect twice or heal two different units at once.

Her S2 is her best skill. It dispells two debuffs from an ally, gives increased attack for two turns and increases their CR by 40%. It also increases her own CR by 25%. With mola, the CR on the target can increase to 50% and it is on a two turn CD. SB also heals the target unit for ten souls. That's one packed skill. Can be used for cleavers or units like Straze or LQC or any other offensive unit with no atk buff who is a bit slower than her.

Her S3 cleanses two debuffs from her whole team, heals them and gives a two turn barrier. Nothing amazing but respectable.

So, all in all, she doesn't bring any new skills or abilities on the table. I will probably give her Ray's equipment and call it a day. She is a typical cleanser soul weaver where one should focus on speed, ER, HP and Def in that order. She is still very solid and I would personally benefit because I have no cleanser who provides and atk buff and cr push at the same time. I think she is also better than ML Kawarick even though they have similar kits, lol. But anyone who already has one built could probably pass on her but dunno, she has better animation and her ER imprint does make things easier.

Her artifact is interesting, in that it gives a flat ER of 15% on top of healing an ally once a turn for what I assume is 15% with no copies at plus 15. It serves her well, but of course, soul weaver artifacts are good across the board and all of them can work there.

While her S1 might allow for a counter set, I do think speed/ER set is the way to go. You want her fast enough to use her S2 or S3, depending on the situation and she has to go before the rest of your team. She doesn't even care that much whether she goes before the enemy or not. If she goes after, she cleanses their debuffs, if now, she just uses the S2 and starts an attack with your cleaver or damage dealer. She is definitely going to be useful.

Rem is more interesting in that she is getting new abilities, but that also makes her a bit harder to predict.

Her S1 can defense break the enemy. 35% odds without mola and 50% with mola. If she is in demon mode, she attacks twice.

Her S2 is her weird new stuff. When anybody dies, she cleanes all debuffs on herself and activates Demon Mode for two turns. This can only happen once every 5 turns so, basically, in pvp/rta that means it can only happen once in a fight. Demon Mode means that she is immune to debuffs, it cannot be stripped and the debuffs she applies ignore ER.

When an ally is attacked, she has a 15% chance to counterattack with iron strike. In turn, iron strike attacks all enemies, decreases their buff durations and makes them unhealable for 1 turn. It also says that iron strike takes priority over counterattacks with basic skills, so that means she counterattacks with Iron Strike instead of her S1. Molas increase her counterattack chance to 20%

Her S3 gives herself an attack buff and aoe attacks all enemies and decreases their hit chance for two turns and increases her own CR by 50%.

Her artifact increases crit chance by 15% and whenever somebody dies, it gives the user a CR push between 12 and 24%. Not sure how much CR push that is for +15 without any copies.

Artifact is meh, tbh. I guess it can be useful, but dunno if I would give her that.

Team imprint is health and on her self it is plus crit chance which would make it easier to go for dps build but have fun getting several copies of her with three collab heroes and artifacts plus summer Iseria and her artifact around the corner.

So, what about Rem? Her kit is interesting at least. She needs for someone to die before she starts going crazy which is somewhat fitting. That means she probably doesn't want to go first if one wants to take advantage of the ignores ER thing. In fact, one can build her with no effectiveness at all, which makes things at least a bit easier. That said, she seems to be a lot more gear hungry than Emilia was in order to use her effectively.

For her S2 condition to activate she needs to be teamed up with an ally who is rather fast and can snipe at least one enemy unit before she takes a turn, in which case one can get away with a bit less bulk. Still, I do think one wants to build Rem as tanky as possible, as she should remain on the field for as long as possible and hit the enemy team with Iron Strike and attack twice with her S1.

So, I am unsure how she would interact with a counter set. Does the sentence "Iron Strike takes priority over a counterattack with a basic skill" refer to all counterattacks she makes or only those which are facilitated by her S2? If only her S2, I would probably go for a bulk and damage with medium speed. So, speed or atk sets. If it refers to all counter-attacks, maybe go with counter. I think one can give her Champion's trophy and hope for stuns on top of everything, although her skill makes it clear that the ignores ER effect does not apply to artifacts, so enemies might resist there, especially if there is no effectiveness on her otherwise.

All in all, I can see two options with her builds: Either go for dmg or go for debuffs. Either way, she wants to stay on the field for as long as possible to counterattack as much as possible. She should be fun, but I don't know how good she will work.

Think will have to sit on her kit for a while longer. I could also see the cockroach approach with her, where you accept that the one person dying is on your own team and hope Rem can turn things around afterwards. If the one dying is on their team, you are kinda wasting the self cleanse but then again, planning for someone on your team to die is not a great strategy, even if you have a reviver on your team. That said, maybe she works really, really well with Arby, who should count for the team death thing. I don't know, it seems fun at least.

Last and maybe least is Ram. She is a mage, gives her team health with imprint or effectiveness to herself.

Her S1 attacks one enemy and has a 60% chance (75% with mola) to decrease attack for 1 turn. If she is buffed, it reaches 100%. Soul Burn allows her to attack all enemies for ten souls.

S2 is a passive and increases her own Atk by 30% and reduces the effect of CR debuffs on her by 80% (100% with mola).

S3 attacks the enemy and inflicts def break on them for two turns and gives herself Greater Attack Buff (also called GAB in case you heard a youtuber say it and didn't know what they meant)

Her artifact increases her ATK by 15% and decreases dmg suffered by elite or boss monsters by 15% at +15.

So, I'll be honest, she seems a bit underwhelming. Her S1 is aptly titled How Boring. because it is a very boring skill. Decrease Attack is not useless, by any means, but it is also not that great. A possible aoe on her S1 with ten souls can be useful against enemies hiding in stealth, but there are better options. Her passive is interesting at least, since it means she can't really be pushed back, and she has a lot of atk. That said, her S3 is okay, but also not great.

With her artifact, she seems more of a pve unit, but she also should be useful in pvp. Like, with 30% atk from her s2, 15% atk from her artifact and GAB on herself, alongside a decent attack set, or a speed set with good atk, that should translate into a lot of dmg with her basic attack, especially if it can be a potential aoe with only ten souls. She can also be paired up with Lilias who benefits from her high attack to cleave, especially if she goes after her and there is someone def broken there.

Could build her with no crit chance and crit dmg in order to get her speed and atk as high as possible, or a bit less of both and go for a more traditional damage dealer for pvp.

As for pve, I don't know, maybe expedition? She could def break for Banshee, but so can a milllion other units. I don't know if she is useful after that, but can't imagine her replacing Baiken there. Also find it hard to believe that someone wouldn't have Leo or Bellona or kluri or any other def breaker for that, so can't see how she is good for wyvern. If she had been ice or fire, I would say good for either one of those two hunts, but banshee might be the one hunt her skill-set is ill-equipped for. Might be overlooking something, though.

So yeah, those were the collab units and artifacts. Seems solid enough, I like Emilia and Rem seems interesting enough. A bit meh on Ram.

Still, the three stars seems more exiting, oddly enough.

#epic seven #epic 7 #re:zero #re zero #collab #emilia #rem #ram

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blissfulalchemist · 3 years

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multiples of 5 + get a room xx

Hello Stella this was a lot but! here we are!

5. What do they like the most about each other?

Both can very much appreciate their shamelessness for public flirting and PDA. We won’t also state the other obvious thing both like about the other. On a sappy level though Hayat most likes Mason’s ability to find the darkest corner of any room no matter how bright it is. Truly that is a fucking skill and just HOW!? can you make that happen sir???? What Mason likes the most about Hayat is the way he’s ready with something to lighten most deadly situations that can make you want to smile or laugh if it was any other setting other than impending doom. Seriously sir, you are literally bleeding out and you’re trying to make a joke about getting laid right here and now???

10. How do they resolve their arguments?

Both are terrible in that they will kind of just ignore it or just put it to the side and then never come back to it until they have too, which means it built up a bit more than just something that could have been a smaller argument. Typically though most resolutions happen at night and on roofs or balconies and the like. Life’s a lot calmer during that time of day and its also easier on Mason’s senses which in the heat of the moment are harder to control and that extra stimulation isn’t helpful in quelling any kind of anger or feelings of upset. This is usually when Hayat will take the initiative to leave if Mason hasn’t done it by that point. In the end one of them will come to the other and get it resolved not too long after. Both are man enough to admit when they were in the wrong.

Rarely (surprisingly) there is little make up sex. Most of the bigger arguments are in relation to things that are emotionally deep and intimate, which both have to relearn or find out and you can’t just do that with sex.

15. Who pays for the food the most, when they go out?

Hayat. Not that Mason doesn’t have the means or is opposed to it, Hayat just beats him to the punch and is paying before it can even process in Mason’s head that he should pay for food every now and then (even id he himself doesn’t eat very much).

20. Do they give each other nicknames?

Mason calls Hayat by two different nicknames. The first one being the nickname Hiya as this is something approved by Hayat himself, though he still rolls his eyes over Hiya picking that kind of nickname as its some version of a pun technically. Mason also calls him “Handsome” which made Hayat a bit uncomfortable for a while there. This was even said before they even slept together and god Hayat thought he was going to die or hit him eventually as well....Bobby also called him “Handsome”. Given a little time it started to change and Hayat warmed up to the name and by Book 3 happens that old association really leaves him when hearing Mason say it.

Hayat will shorten Mason’s name to Mase now and then, but this is also a sort of pun name as he can threaten people with the phrase “I’m gonna Mase you” which basically means “I’m gonna send my anger inclined boyfriend at you”. This threat is very rare and only is said when the timing is right. (Yes my son needs help). Hayat also refers to Mason as “Eshgham” which translates to “My Love” or “Delbar-am” that translates to “One who stole my heart” when they’re being a little sappy and also “Kharâbetam” which translates to “I’m ruined for you” typically when its more private behind closed doors as it’s a bit more intense than the other two.

25. How do they comfort each other when one of them is scared?

Hayat’s a bit better at it than Mason in comforting but there’s a check in between the two of them. Sometimes its silent and both can tell where the other stands in their fear. Other times it is asked aloud and also paired with a touch of some kind. Even when these two are asking it jokingly there is always a hint of looking out for the other and just making sure that there’s truth to what is said. Honestly just being near one another is enough to comfort when they’re scared.

30. Do they attend any clubs or formal parties together?

Neither are really suited to formal parties to be honest. They will if they must or if its something that is involved with family and such, but neither are really the formal type.

35. How do they spend time if the other is gone?

Both have a life outside of the other and so many times they will partake in that side. Hiya has a good amount of friends that he likes to spend time with and Mason also has Unit Bravo along with work so he can focus on that.

40. Thoughts on kids?

Hayat likes kids and never plans on ever having them unless it feels right or just happens. Mason’s personality doesn’t lend itself to being kid friendly but is mostly indifferent.

45. How are birthdays spent?

Hey Mason! You’ve never had a birthday party! Well guess what! You’re getting a birthday party! It won’t be very big or elaborate but it’ll be a small celebration with cake, balloons, games, music, and the party hats. All planned by Hiya and encouraged by Felix.

Hayat typically ends up having a small party as Tina likes to have fun and then his family like to celebrate so they have a mini party. However! Hayat was born on Leap Year and you can bet that there is an even bigger party that is themed with the appropriate age so at his 2020 celebration he will be 7! such a big year :’).

Once all the day party stuff is over though there’s a good amount of private celebrating happening. The gift that is consistent between them involves a weekend away.

50. Who makes the best flower crown?

Hayat. He doesn’t make them often and really ends up needing help but when he gets something he’ll give them to members of the team. Mason isn’t a fan to say the least but for Hiya he’ll reduce the scowl.

55. Are they a super sappy couple?

Sappy as in kissy faces and nicknames and just like adorable-ness? No…..well the kissy faces sure but if it goes on long enough you may want to avert your gaze. Look they are very forward with each other and they don’t show any signs of being uncomfortable with it. In private you get the more sappy moments but even then there’s this casualness with them that leads to it seeming only as a physical relationship. Really it’s more Hayat that can be the sappy one.

60. Who will punch someone out if they are rude to their partner?

Mason primarily (Sir I cannot wait for you to meet the Ex). Hayat doesn’t like to let himself turn to violence so it would take a lot of anger to do so.

65. Who loves kids more?

This would go to Hayat more. He acts somewhat like a kid himself and he can keep them fairly entertained and help them feel reassured if they’re scared. Hayat comes from a fairly big family and there were always kids around so he enjoys their company.

70. Who is the hopeless romantic?

I have to give this one to Hayat as he can be a bit more of an outward hopeless romantic. I do believe that Mason is the secretive hopeless romantic that isn’t fully aware that he is.

75. Who are their favourite musical artist(s)?

Mason doesn’t listen to much music as its hard to find things that are easy to handle with the heightened senses.

Hayat likes more of the pop punk music. Bands like Fall Out Boy, All Time Low, Reliant K, AWOLNATION, Walk the Moon, The Killers, etc. To compensate for the harshness of some of the songs Hayat has made a specific playlist of acoustic covers and softer songs to play when Mason is near and not really up for enduring his normal playlists.

80. What do they love about each other the most?

Hayat loves the genuineness of Mason. Like admittedly there’s some secrets and like holding back but that more stems from needing trust in order to talk about that kind of stuff. With Mason its really a “What you see is what you get” kind of person and more importantly with this is that Mason’s actions match with what he’s saying. That is just so important for Hiya now as it gives him the most comfort in pursuing something with him.

For Mason its this ability for Hayat to be invading but also keep his distance. Hayat will press and stick close to Mason with emotional stuff but he’s not pushy about it and will let Mason take the time needed to figure stuff out. Hayat doesn’t also just brush Mason off with his needs or attitude. Mason wants to be close to someone but wants a sort of setting where you’re alone together (like you and your partner are in the same room but doing different things with the occasional shout out) and Hayat lets that happen.

85. Who accidental sets something on fire?

I’d say both as one day that lighter’s gonna get Mason in trouble but it would be more Hayat. Sometimes he likes to just fiddle around with tech stuff and the wrong wires get crossed and soon there’s a mini fire happening. What can you do?

90. Who is the one that would bring the puppy home?

Both, but Mason would pick the kitten/cat up and bring them home to Hayat more than a puppy. Just seems a bit more like a cat person.

#I'll admit I thought this was gonna take me longer but I DID IT!#These two just make me laugh cringe and soft #x: get a room #no banner cause i hate the old one and too lazy and hungry to make a new one

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capsicrew · 3 years

Text

semi-live reactions to the LL;

Okay well, I think I'll just summarize.

All notes below the cut.

As expected, the live letter is focusing on job adjustments and additions. -They're trying to make major abilities across all jobs maintain a 60 or 120-second cooldowns, with some exceptions. With the intention being to align more of those "burst windows," in parties, especially in endgame raiding/content. -They re-emphisize that not all abilities will be on these 2 timers and YoshiP specifies Ley Lines will remain 90 seconds and regrets BLM being "neglected" lmao. "Everybody gets their burst, then I come in 30 seconds later with my lay lines"

Okay, job action video before they get into specifics, lets see what I can spot lmao;

[originally I had all my reactions to the trailer here, to keep organized, I'm combining that with the specific job notes]

That was a lot, sorry lmao. I think instead of typing more, I'll just add notes about the jobs as they go in depth after my first impressions above ^ Sounds like Summoner has the most hype with the audience. They made a comment that Summoner is now Ultima Weapon lmao.

Job Class notes: Tanks; -I guess using certain buffs in combination with certain skills increases their benefit? Not very specific, but I guess an incentive to think more about which cool downs you use and when and in concert with other skills. -Combo chains will no longer be broken when using ranged attacks. Nice! Sounds like this is being added to melee dps as well. -Looks like both Phys and Magic Damage will differ and be an important aspect? They sure talk a lot about this but I'm not sure the practical application. I guess just in determining to use tank skills that decrease either phys damage or magic damage? I guess they just adjusted some stats through the game and are just saying the numbers will be different so raiders don't piss themselves.

YoshiP is a cat boy lmao. Yoshi-nyan dskjfl lmao "I'm 48 years old!"

-Paladin: Trailer: [Looks like updates to skills and attacks with new graphics, or just new skills. Don't know PLD well enough to say for sure. Looks like Passage of Arms also included an attack of some sort while the PLD was immobile. 3 new attacks that look like AOEs that rain swords down on the enemies in various forms.] -Requiescat is no longer depending on MP value. -Ah, the sword-rain is a new 3-part combo starting with Confiteor (the level 80 PLD skill) -Gap closer is now 20y instead of 15y. -No drastic changes otherwise. About what you can expect from ShB with just other tweaks to match overall gameplay changes.

-Warrior: Trailer Reaction: [Has a cooldown that gives you little fire embers aesthetically. Looks like base combo attacks might get buffed.] -Abilities that increase damage are now extended (and even triggered) by the AOE combos. (instead of having to weave-in, like, Storm's Eye in the middle of a combo, especially for AOE combos) -Onslaught and Upheaval no longer drain the Beast Guage. They're now on a charge-use basis, I guess? And Onslaught will have a new combo move. -New skill being added when using Inner Release. Inner Release now has 60s cooldown, increasing use-frequency.

-Dark Knight: Trailer: [New/updated aoe attack, and can cast a shield on a single party member. Frey summon looks more in synch, but I haven't used that a lot so idk if that's different.] -Salted Earth will now just be placed at your feet (instead of being a placable aoe), and now combos into a new move. YoshiP admitted to having a macro to do this pre-EW, so they all decided that was silly. -lmao, Fray/simulacrum will also be sure to learn new skills as the player does. -Single-target defense buff. -Delirium cooldown decreased to 60s. -Gap closer also increased to 20y, like PLD.

-Gunbreaker: Trailer: [Either I don't play GNB enough or most of it looked the same except one cartridge aoe skill at the end lol. They do have a 3rd cartridge that can be stored, though.] -The Gnashing Fang+Savage Claw+Wicked Talon (lvl 60 skills that use a cartridge for the first skill) combo will now be reduced to a single action that switches between the 3 skills, to reduce the space it takes on the hot bar. -Continuation will now (only?) follow Burst Strike. I'm not 100% sure if they're saying Continuation is getting an additional action to follow Burst Strike and will also combo with the Gnashing Fang combo, or if it's JUST Burst Strike, now. -Getting a 3rd cartridge, as I noticed. -Gap closer also increased to 20y.

Melee DPS: -Feint will now decrease both physical and magical damage on the target, but the physical debuff will be more potent. (sounds like Addle will get a similar change) -Again, combos will not be broken by using ranged attacks. Consideration for when phys dps needs to move away from targets for aoes and such.

-Dragoon: Trailer reaction: [Got some flasy moves that look like new aoes, but mostly just new attacks looks like. Summons two dragons for some kind of ultimate end-combo move. And has a flowery attack that reminds me of FF9's dragoon flavor with Freya] -Increasing the AoE rotation. A lot of jobs could use this, so this was on my hopes list for EW. -Adding new actions if you do your base rotations right. lmao They comment on how flashy they are, which is true. -Sounds like many skills are being increased in power rather than adding a bunch of new skills to fill our hotbars. -Blood of the Dragon will now be a trait, rather than a skill that needs to be kept up constantly. (nice!) -Spineshatter Dive (DRG's earliest gap closer) will now have 2 charges instead of the one use, for increased mobility. -Lance Charge (self damage buff) has recast time decreased to 60s. Battle Litany (party crit buff) recast decreased to 120s.

-Monk: Trailer: [Has a new gauge added to its other, but no greased lightning gauge. Collecting more stickers ala BRD and SAM. Looks like their gap closer was updated to stack or be used multiple times quickly. Impressive looking attacks and aoes, but I don't play MNK enough to comment much lmao. Hope its less tedious!] -DAMN LOOK AT THAT JOB ART -Greased Lightning gone forever, so; -Chakras unlocked at a lower level. -New system; After using Perfect Balance, the player can use a new skill called Masterful Blitz. How the Blitz executes and what it does will change depending on what skills the player uses while using Perfect Balance. (much in line with Sabin's Blitz skill in FF6, it sounds to me). -Sounds like the player needs to use skills with some thought to maintain a balance of yin and yang chakras. Sounds like the translator is trying her best, but I think it'll come across better with some practice or seeing it in action better than the job trailer. -Oh, they are going to show a video-- -Showin off Thavnarian a little bit, lol -Each skill seems to have a specific association when used in Perfect Balance, that then add to either Yin or Yang (not final names sounds like). And if you get a charge of each, the next use of the skill unleashes a larger attack. I guess it's similar to trying to get three specific suits as AST. -I guess more/better info to come during the media tour. -Perfect balance with have a 2-stack charge, charging every 40s. -Sounds like some or more MNK skills will have their directional requirements removed to make this new system more manageable. -Shoulder Tackle (gap closer) is being removed, and is being replaced with a new gap closing action. Sounds like it wont do damage, but can be used to close the gap between both enemies AND allies (like Aetherial Manipulation with BLM). It comes with 3 stacks! Thats a lot of movement at once, with 30s recharge per charge.

-Samurai: Trailer: [Looks like Meikyo Shisui (the buff that lets you use your sticker-granting skills without doing the full combo) either has a massively reduced cooldown, a way to refresh it faster or just a second charge. Looks like the same is true of Tsubame-gaeshi (the skill that lets you use a sticker-using skill a second time)(I swear I don't have these names memorized, I only know their pictures. I'm looking them up). Possibly a new attack that uses meditation stacks, or I just forget what the level 80 skill looks like. Finishes with some kind of massive attack. So just lots of deeps for SAM.] -Mid-combo attacks that grant buffs can now also be obtained from aoe skills as well, like WAR. So that you don't either have to perform a single-target combo in the middle of fighting multiple targets, or don't have to just go without those buffs. -I was correct; Meikyo Shisui and Tsubame-gaeshi now each have 2 stacks. -You also get the mid-combo buff if you use the final move of a combo under the effect of Meikyo Shisui. Nice nice! Exactly things I wanted for SAM.

-Ninja: Trailer: [omg, a skill that grants auto-Huton I love it <3. Either Bushin now ends with a finisher skill (like automaton queen), or NIN has a new ranged attack. Oh shit!! A gap closer that actually does damage! Looks like it combos off of Raiton (lightning ninjutsu). Oooh, and there's a second follow-up lightning attack as well! NIN is gonna be interesting!] -New actions linked to Raiton (lightning ninjutsu), Doton (dot ninjutsu) and Huton (that ninjutsu you need to have on all the time for decreased weaponskill cooldown) being added. -Single action to apply the effect of Huton added * 0* <3 <3. Both applies it and resets the timer. -Additional actions added while under the effect of Bunshin (the level 80 skill). For just ninjutsu, I think? -Tried to not get the ninjutsu actions even more complicated. No 4th sigil lol. -Shadow Fang (ogcd dot skill) is removed :(

-Reaper: Trailer: [Starts with some kind of charge attack? Gap closer leaves behind a portal (very neat!). Guage looks like a combo of MCH+DRK. You need 50 of the "heat guage" to summon the void monster. The monster didn't come out of the portal that was left behind, but it disappeared when the monster appeared. Oh, the gap closer is more like NIN's Shukuchi, or maybe like SAM's movement options. The Reaper teleported "backwards" and left another portal, used a couple ranged attacks then TP'd right back to the portal. Very neat. Looks like the monster never stays out permanently, but is summoned in a few ways, finishing with a timer that upgrades attacks. Kinda like DRG with dragon imagry.] -Reiterates that attacks are done with the scythe and the avatar in combination, or "serve as the avatar's vessel" to use more powerful attacks. -Has party utility, granting a buff or two. -"Unique and specialized actions give them an edge in specific combat situations" ??? Seems to refer specifically to the portal movement skill. Shukuchi+Aetherial Manipulation. -MCH-like UI tracks two guages: the Soul Guage on top in red, which slowly fills and is used to use attacks in tandem with the avatar. The Shroud Guage is on bottom in blue, and fills as attacks using the soul guage are used. Once it fills up, it allows you to become the avatar's vessel to do even bigger attacks. Very similar to the Automaton Queen in use, it sounds like. -The one I called the DRK-looking seems to actually be more like SMN's Bahamut gauge, and simply acts as a timer to tell you how long you'll have the avatar using you as a vessel. -Switched to the video. Tiny Lala reaper lmao. -Looks like the portal ability works like DNC's An Evant--you charge in a single direction for a set distance, but Reaper has the ability to port back to it for a certain amount of time. Looks like 15 seconds with maybe an additional effect if you do it within 10 seconds? -Oh! The movement skill is actually two actions that allow you to "en avant" forward OR backwards, then teleport back -Looks like the character very visually changes form while acting as a vessel for the avatar, including equipment and some evil eyes. More than just the glowing eyes WAR has for inner beast. -Mentioning that with the gauges, the job isn't really one you charge up to a burst like others, but is rather just a building crescendo. -They're not talking about it, but it looks like the "you are the vessel" gauge either expires based on a timer OR the execution of a certain number of big attacks. -There's gonna be a couple positional-based skills, but just ones involving the avatar. Similar to DRG which only has, like, 2. -Sounds like a fun job, I'm please looking forward to it. -No LB3 shown yet. YoshiP comments that the "big flashy move" Zenos uses in the Benchmark trailer is basically the Reaper's LB3.

--break time--

Ranged DPS: -Just the comment about phys dps # values changes that they've already been saying. -Timers on Troubadour, Tactician and Shield Samba have been decreased to 90s.

-Bard: Trailer: [New addition to their gauge, looks like 3 icons that keep track of what songs have been played. The gauge also says what song is currently playing, though idk who needs that. New cone aoe, looks like--Maybe an aoe version of Refulgent Arrow? Some kind of buff or party skill that uses the 3 saved icons from playing each song once, no indication of what it does. Finishes with either a new move or one that combos off of Apex Arrow, the last skill brd learns in ShB.] -Why does she look so surprised in the art? -As I noticed, playing each of the 3 songs once each grants a new action for a party-wide buff. -New action to follow-up Apex Arrow, as I also noticed. -Battle Voice cooldown reduced to 120s (from 180 :o! ) She also says Wanderer's Minuet, but that's one of the base songs already on a timer of 80s?? That doesn't seem right.

-Machinist: Trailer: [Some kind of large shotgun! Looks like an ocg aoe, but they used it very shortly after bioblaster, so its not on the same cooldown as air anchor/bioblaster. Standard combo might have slightly new animation--the bullets look like they're hitting harder or smth but it might just be a trailer thi--there are cars behind him lmao tHEY HAD CARS IN GARLEMALD THIS WHOLE TIME. Anyway... OH SHIT It looked like they just shot a bunch of BUZZ SAWS! Oh, and they just used Drill. They have Drill AND Air Anchor. Oh, Queen Automaton's final move looks bigger.] -New Skill; Chain Saw! (many folks were expecting this after they started theming many of the MCH skills after Edgar's skills in FF6. Chain saw was basically the only one missing) -As I noticed, new action for Automaton Queen. No word on the missing Bishop... -Reassemble will have 2 charges (!) They then specifically advice to keep it constantly in use lmao -Job is mechanically the same, but there will be some ability updates (like that shotgun).

-Dancer: Trailer: [Looks like they get some kind of scremin berd that does some feather attacks but doesn't cost a feather guage. Looks like a follow-up combo with Saber Dance as well. Improvisation seems to have a follow-up or possibly a new effect when it ends. Not clear what it does.] -Instead of the single-target and aoe skills having separate effects, they will be shared between the two versions. (presumably; originally you needed different weaponskill buffs to execute Reverse Cascade (single) or Rising Windmill (aoe), but now their combo moves can activate a buff to use either of them). -New actions added after successfully using Technical Finish, Improvisation and Devilment. -Again, job is mechanically the same--mostly just some tweaks and evolution into level 90. -AoE weapon skills will transform into the dance step buttons the way the single-target ones do. -Espirit gauge will fill more consistently rather than randomly.

-brief complaint about BRD's songs not applying to the BRD themself. They've gone with "no comment at this time." YoshiP-lease

Casting DPS: -Like Feint, Addle has been changed to reduce both magic and physical damage dealt by the target, with the magical debuff being more potent.

-Black Mage: Trailer: [Has a new addition to the guage that looks like a larger fire/ice needle. Activated when they switched to Astral Fire from Umbral Ice via Fire 3. Looks like they used it to cast some very nice looking fire/ice attack that refreshed the timer on Astral Fire. The special new needle also activated when they switched from A.Fire to U.Ice. The Ice move they used to switch was also new, though they still had Blizzard 3, which they opened with. Looks like Freeze granted 3 ice needles instead of 1. The new fire/ice move was also used in U.Ice mode and refreshed the timer. New fire move transitioning back to A.Fire, which they use instead of Fire 4 in standard rotation--new aoe? Flare, Despair and Xenoglossy appear to be the same.] -Enochian is now a trait! It is automatically applied when under the effect of either A.Fire or U.Ice! Rejoice! Apparently this was a long-ruminated decision. -As I noticed, new actions are available while switching correctly between A.Fire and U.Ice. Apparently its more than just the fire+ice attack. -BLM is considered "pure dps" like SAM, so they focused on its attacking ability rather than other party utility. They specify "no raise" lol -Firestarter/Thundercloud procs have had their timers extended. -Fire 2 and Blizzard 2 are each going to get buffs, increasing AoE damage. They joke about the japanese names for what is basically now Fire 5 and Blizzard 5 and what their offical names are, lmao. They had to go to the "FF Brand Committee" to nail-down the japanese names of these spells, with no precidence of spells of this level. Sounds like he's leaning towards High-Fira and High-Blizzara rather than, like... Firgyo or something completely different, lol. -Sharpcast now has a second charge.

-Red Mage: Trailer Reaction: [Has 3 buttons added to magic meter, which filled with melee attacks (both the aoe one and the normal single-target combo). Jumped back with what looked like a brief healing bubble. All 3 charges spent on what looks like an aoe version of verholy/verflare (verdispair?). Verholy looks like it was buffed, or is possibly an aoe version, and Scorch (the final rdm combo) looks updated as well, and is followed by a big aoe-lookin move that does damage in a wide row between the rdm and the target, similar to DRG's Nastrond.] -New action coming after Scorch, as I pointed out. Lots of thorns. -Verflare, Verholy and Scorch will now all be AoE attacks, added as part of the AoE rotation [in addition to their current use?] -Adding a party-wide defense buff. Probably that verassylum-looking skill I noted. Apparently its just called "Magic Barrier" rather than something fancy or ver-y, lol -Amount of mana in the guage used for weapon skills has been reduced. Manafication seems to add a full use of the melee-skills for free, rather than affecting the mana gauges. -Potency of Displacement and Engagement will become the same value, so there's no dmg loss in making the right choice.

-Summoner: Trailer: [Right off the bat I see they have a carbuncle instead of an egi? Curious about the update to the Bahamut gauge which looks like it has a stop-light of gemstones under it--same colors as ifrit, titan and garuda. Standard attacks with some updated graphics, so just, like, Ruin 5 or smth. Summoned Bahamut right away, no "Dreadwyrm Trance" phase. Bahamut seems to have a new attack. oh SHIT OH SHIT. NO EGI, MOTHERFUCKER JUST SUMMONED GARUDA REAL. Garuda appears briefly and uses a big attack. She's gone, but the emerald button is now Garuda and has a timer--all of the summoner's attacks look different, and the carbuncle is using the garuda-themed attacks. Summoned Titan now! Uses Landwaster, and now all the summoner's attacks are earth-themed. I Think I know where this is going-- Yeah, there's Ifrit with Hellfire, and now all fire-based attacks, which appears to include a gap-closer and a follow-up melee attack. Carbuncle stayed the same color throughout, so I think we'll still keep the carbuncle glamors, maybe get more colors I hope? Summon Phoenix looks the same.] -Summoner completely reworked for the 4th expansion in a row apparently, they can't keep getting away with it-!! -DoTs GONE! No Bio. No Miasma. I guess too many people complained about it. -As mentioned, Egis are gone, and the summoner now fully summons Ifrit, Garuda and Titan. Okay, they are not literally the Primals, but are nicknamed; Ifrit-Ruby, Garuda-Emerald and Titan-Topaz. Just mostly for lore-compliance... summoning is bad in this world. -Again, as I noticed; the Summoner's abilities are augmented depending on which has been summoned. -I guess they largely wanted to address the down time between summoning bahamut and phoenix where you're just standing around casting Ruin 3. -Base rotation is as I outlined above; You summon Demi-Bahamut, which gives you the power to summon the 3 primal-gems in turn, augmenting attacks as you go, then ending with the summoning of Phoenix, which lets you then summon the three primal-gems again, then back to Demi-Bahamut. No more 50-step opener or w/e lmao -Order doesn't matter--they did Garuda, then Titan then Ifrit in the trailer, but they can be summoned once each in any order. They emphisize planning on when you want to have each summon (including Bahamut and Phoenix) during fights and different phases. -Actions on the hotbar will change automatically as each primal is summoned, rather than needing 4 or so different set-ups, lol. -Summoner will keep Resurrection. But apparently it only just BARELY survived. -Display size is customizable for the carbuncle, but is only client-side. Also for each of the summons. YoshiP has some very small primals. Tiny-Titan is especially good, lol -Sounds like all glamors for the carbuncle/egi will remain, including the primal egis. The Emerald Carbuncle is used in the trailer and the live letter video because its what YoshiP likes most. -Each summon has 2-stacked special skills executable while summoned, such as Ifrit's gap-closer and melee move. -Summoning the primal-gems has a little bit of casting time to offset the amount of power behind them. Sounds like Ifrit has a longer cast time than the others, so maybe they're each slightly different. -All of Titan's attacks are instant-cast, while Garuda leaves an aoe floor dot at the target (which was an egi skill previously). -apparently did their best to not turn SMN into BLM 2 lmao

Healers: -Adding single-target buffs to all healers. -Reduced cast time for offensive spells (!!!) -Limit break area has been increased to 50y lmao, then the guy applauds it. As someone who has suffered the shorter range... I get it. -As they said before, they're splitting between 2 "pure" healers (WHM and AST) and 2 "barrier" healers (SCH and SGE) -Decreased cast time for certain healing skills, nice!

-White Mage: Trailer: [Glare II. Oh, looks like they planted some kind of flower on the battlefield? WHM Earthly Star, maybe? Looks like it explodes in a wide range of healing magic either periodically or with certain triggers (looks like it took damage from an enemy aoe and responded with an auto-medica or something). Finally an update to Holy that isn't *quite* as blinding. ...okay, now I watched it again and its still pretty blinding lmao] -Adding a "functionally and visually distinct" restorative field action. So... Earthly Star for WHM. -Beyond the global changes, though, little is changing about WHM, it will be relatively the same, being the base "pure healer." -Update to Holy, which also helps add lillies to the job gauge. -Fluid Aura, if you remember that, has been removed lmao. -Divine Benison is gaining a charge.

-Astrologian: Trailer: [Looks Minor Arcana just draws one of the 2 minor arcana cards, rather than "transforming" a currently drawn card. This card has its own space on the guage, so it can be held while continuing to draw/use regular cards. Oooh, a very nice looking buff to Gravity, which is followed by an attack(maybe also a buff like Assize?) that looks like shooting stars overly a wide range--very pretty. Some kind of shield or delayed heal--looks similar to SCH's Excognition.] -Being changed into a "pure healer," as has been discussed. -Diurnal and Nocturnal Sect are both being removed, and actions that were affected by this will now only have their Diurnal Sect effect. -Neutral Sect (level 80 skill) will have its effect slightly adjusted to add barrier effects to the adjusted skills. -Divination is receiving some adjustments. Now it can be used under "normal circumstances" ??? -I guess its including new enhancements for the user depending on the seals used? Not very clear on these points. -Redraw is no longer a charge action, and can only be used once after using Draw. -Adjustment to Minor Arcana, as I noted above. -New AoE spell that heals allies and damages opponents (the shooting star skill). Largely to balance with WHM having a great aoe in Holy, but making it different enough that the 4 different healers still have individuality.

-Scholar: Trailer: [My main. Adlo either gets buffed or might have a new animation. Looks like they used Sonsolation without transforming the fairy into Seraph. Updated basic attack, Broil III or w/e. Looks like a new aoe heal/shield or update to Succor. Power/animation update to Art of War. ... that's it??] -Oooh, a new ability that increases the party's movement speed--like Pelotan, but keeps its effect during battle. They don't say exactly how much faster compared to Sprint and Pelotan, but says it wont stack with Sprint. Apparently the base action is meant to be a damage reduction buff with the added benefit of speed increase. -SCH was aleady their base for "shield type" healers, so it's largely the same with more focus on the shields and barriers. -Getting a "powerful enhancement" that can be cast on a single party member. -That's it. :(

-Sage: Trailer: [Not sure what to say since this is new. Appears to use a gauge resembling a cross between BRD's and AST. Graphics on attacks look very nice. Cool beam attack! Ooooh, and a gap closer?? Looks like they also have an instant-cast aoe that damages opponents and heals party members.] - "Possesses all the actions essential for a barrier healer." Thanks. -Seems to have increased number of skills that attack and heal/shield allies simultaneously. Seems to work similar to AST's Synnastry--you specify a party member and when you attack, that party member gets passive heals. -Has a DoT that... applies when it feels like? -Adder's Gaul. Some charge in the job guage that powers instant-cast skills. -Also the gap closer. They say it's a very technical job and difficult to explain in just words. -Looks like the Sage's gauge is passively filling constantly, even outside of battle, until it fills 3 charges. -The Synnastry-like skill (Cardia) can target the self as well. Like a constant Regen as long as you're dpsing. Useful for solo-play. -I guess you have the one base attack, but can press a button that augments it into the DoT version. And it seems it can augment other attacks as well--looks like changing one skill from a base healing move to a shielding move or adjusting how aoe heals or attacks appear. -Looks like it's a decent amount to memorize and use, but no more than some other jobs, and it looks pretty fun in that technical aspect! -Lots of comparisons to Gundam from the chat regarding the sfx, lol

Huh, nothing about BLU. Weird.

-YoshiP about choking seeing how long it took them to get through the first part lmao

--break time--

-Reiterates/clarifies that Summoners will retain their egi glamors.

Battle Adjustments: -Raid Finder for Savage duties will specifically search for one pure healer and one barrier healer each. -Normal Duty Finder will remain the same, regarding healers (just one healer queue).

-In the Party Finder, people making parties can specify pure/barrier healers for the party they're making. -Addition to Party Finder to filter for players that have "yet to receive weekly completion rewards." -Searching for parties will now exclude parties you cannot join due to their "one player per job" requirement. Based on YoshiP's experience playing lol

-"Trials with weapon drops will now drop a weapon coffer in addition to the original weapon reward." Folks will still get a direct drop of the weapon, but also there will be a coffer for folks to vote on loot for weapons. -Final parts of hard raids up to 3.5 (Bahamut normal and Savage and Alexander Savage) will drop a weapon-specific coffer in addition to its original loot -High-end raids through SB will drop gear coffers as well in the same way Eden Savage does.

-"Conditional enhancements" can be separated in their own category on the HUD. Proc-type buffs (firestarter, straight shot, etc.) These elements can also have their sizes changed individually if you want them to be more noticeable.

-Improvements to "ground target functionality." -Includes an option to prevent the target from moving beyond it's placable range. We play with controllers, so idk how much this applies.

-New HUD element in the party list that shows which letter target (or # ally) the party members are targeting when they cast spells/abilities. -They specify its main uses are to see which target in a group the party is targeting easier or; -even better; can show which party member a healer is currently hard-casting Raise/Resurrection/Etc on so the other healer can know they're being raised and target another party member or w/e. -Doesn't work for instant spells/abilities because the element wouldn't have enough time to show up, lol

-players with 0% HP will have an empty health bar above them, which originally only showed if someone had the "always show health bar" UI setting, rather than "only when HP is below 100%"

-Unreal trials going away for a bit. Oh no, I'm very concern... -Just because of the raised level cap and the job adjustments, before they tweak the unreal trials to fit the new changes. -Planned to return in 6.1 -No comment on the rewards only available from doing this.

-Belts gone. Can't wear 'em. Can't get 'em. No new notes on this. -The Very Special Belt you can get in Eureka: Pagos for a speed boost will be replaced with a ring and can be exchanged for the belt. -After 6.0 releases, you can no longer extract materia from spriritbound belts; buy or sell belts; use belts for leves or supply missions or use coffers that contain only belts (from quest rewards). -But you can still RETRIEVE fused materia in belts. Belts can still be sold to npc vendors, be desnythesized, used for expert deliveries or be... thrown away. -PANTS FRALL DOWN NOW -More Downscaling of values. I don't really care about this.

-HQ Item Removal??? -"Prevents the unintended procurement of HQ items via gathering and other activities, reducing overall inventory bloat." -Gathered items, enemy drops, Tokens and Non-craftable materials "obtained from certain content" will no longer come as HQ. -Pre 6.0 HQ items will stay HQ, but they will no longer provide bonuses when crafting. -Crafted items (including crafted items only used for crafting, like flour or ingots) and Gear will still be available as HQ. These HQ items will remain functionally unchanged. -Gatherer skills that used to increase HQ will now be adjusted, mostly to affect item yield instead. Fishers will be adjusted as well. The catch's size will still be taken in consideration. -And, of course, Quests, challenge log entries and achievements that require HQ items will be changed accordingly -More details in next Live Letter

-Aethernet Updates: :o -Adjustments to teleportation fees. -No more upper limit to teleportation fees. :) pain -Teleporting across the world will be over 1200 gil, but teleporting to Norvrandt, the fees will be cheaper -Fees to nordvrant are considered via map distance between mor dhona and the crystarium -Other fees have been reduced, so closer teleports will be much cheaper. -In game economy. [ancientaliensmeme.jpg] -Updates to the Aethernet UI, sure. Will include a more detailed list and a map to help with navigation. -Progress towards Fisher's Intuition will remain even after logging out. Fair. Weird time to log out, but things happen.

-Data Center travel system scheduled to come after 6.0 but before 6.1.

#ffxiv #endwalker #live letter #6.0 #spoilers

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factual-fantasy · 4 years

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Answering 14 Asks. Ranging from advice, to my characters, to the rules for drawing fanart. (I’m allowing it now btw)

..You know? Since the last time this has ben mentioned I started thinking.

I would love to see fan art of my characters, and now I know you guys want to draw them. Originally I didn’t want anyone to draw my OCs for my own safety. This post goes into detail on that. But I’ve been thinking.. and I think I might’ve found a way to let people draw fan art of my ocs without exposing anything. With rules. If what you plan to draw “breaks the rules” that means that its one of those “exposing things” I talked about.

Man I am such a sissy. I just don’t want to be bashed for anything. But okay look, here are the “rules” for my fan art.

You absolutely are allowed to draw my characters in one of these categories.

Draw a character that you like posing or smiling to show them off.

Cool action scenes! Most of them are soldiers after all.

Interacting with some of the real team prime members is 100% okay. Especially Volvo and Ratchet because they're supposed to be friends.

Drawing Brown Suburban and Bash Buggy hanging out with the other Wreckers!

Drawing two or more established friends goofing around and having innocent fun.

Drawing a character with an established sad backstory being sad or crying it out. With or without someone that has been established as their friend.

Redrawing scenes that I have already drawn to see it in your style.

If I have mentioned a character likes something, you could draw them with it. An example would be Ranger looking out over a river because she loves water.

You’re allowed to draw me with the characters, although I am kiiiinda a fourth wall break? I’m not really supposed to exist in their world.. So, if you really wanna, you can draw me, but I wouldn't encourage it.

Ones I would not be okay with though..

Drawing my characters getting drunk/drinking. <:/ Not on board with that..

Drawing any of my characters, wearing, talking about or supporting anything political or controversial.. Whether it be over the top or subtle.

No uh.. no ships please, Red Van and Suburban are okay but nothing overly sexual please. :}

No fourth wall breaks please. I know I have had my slip ups but I would like to keep a wall up in between their world and ours. I.E no drawing yourself with them..

Well uh.. that’s about it I suppose. You can basically draw anything, Just no ships, nothing overly sexual or political and keep the fourth wall breaks to a minimum. I myself need to work on not breaking the fourth wall.

I guess that’s it. So if you want to draw fanart for me, and it “follows the rules”? I am bouncing off the walls excited to see what you make for me! Link to their character sheets is here, keep in mind it may be edited now and then.

I am officially giving my fans permission to draw my OCs as long as it “follows the rules”, Have fun drawing!!

Escort would be like,

When it comes to digital, I use a small Intuos pro Wacom tablet. The model is PHT-451. I’m just reading things off the back of it here. It looks like this.

When it comes to traditional drawing, I use nothing but the finest Walmart mechanical pencils and sketch books. I also usually have a standard pink school eraser on hand as well. :}

Hmm.. If they could use a bouncy castle.. Well,

Brown Suburban and Suburban wouldn’t use it for the same reasons. They’re both too big and it would just make them tired. However, if the the kiddos wanted him to, Suburban would just shrug and hop on.

Miata would be on it before its even fully blown up. She’d love bounce houses.

Escort wouldn’t use it because he’s old and weak. Trying to jump up and down like that would tire him out super fast and would just make him ache probably. Poor baby, he’d probably want to though.🥺

U.M.Dragster would be hopping on it before it was fully blown up along side Miata.

A.T.Dragster would like it but would pretend not to.

Green Truck and Vega wouldn’t do it because they’re old and that would really tire them out. But Vega would want to even though he really shouldn’t.

Red Van would like to jump with the kids, but she cant. After what those cons did to her knees.. she can barley walk, let alone jump. repeatedly.

White Truck would love to jump on a bounce house and would have a ton of fun with it. Although due to his size and strength he would probably get tired faster than Miata and U.M. would.

Beluga and Jeepy would love to, and they would. But just like White Truck, they’re big and would get tired pretty quickly I feel.

With enough coaxing, Honda would like to jump on the bounce house too. And she would have a decent amount of energy left over.

Ranger would say she doesn’t want to and wouldn’t go on it. But she lowkey actually wants to join, she just doesn’t want to seem silly.

Volvo: No.

Bash Buggy would probably want to, but would shy away. He cant see people all that well and parts tend to fall off of him. He imagines he’s not all that clean either so he wouldn’t want to get the bounce house dirty and covered in bolts and screws.

A Decepticon.. that one ugly one.? And I know which one??

I actually don’t know which one. I know its not one of mine, because I’ve never drawn them before.

I know its not Knock Out, because he was designed to look attractive. Its not Break Down because he’s not ugly and he’s..... uh, dead..... Its not Soundwave because you cant see his face. Its not Shockwave because.. well, I don't think he’s ugly. Is it Megatron? Starscream?

Who are you talking about???

Its weird how Bash is the idiot when Bulkhead was the one who asked, “Were you killed??” and ALL FOUR OF THEM were relieved when he said he lived.

Isaac sounds so cool! I really like how you structured his character, he sounds like a really fun guy, and yeah, I bet they would really get along swell XD

Well here’s the thing, I can only really tell you the age of the real cars and how old I imagined them being in Transformer years. The reason why is because I don't know how long Cybertronians live and cant use any of the other characters as a reference.

Bumblebee is seen as the youngest, and Ratchet I think is seen as the oldest. Like Teenager vs elder kind'a thing. If I knew how old they were, I could compare them to my OCs and give you a proper age.. but I cant find any info, so this’ll just have to do for now. <:{

Now, normally I have a rule of thumb that I follow. The characters Cybertronian age should at least match up a little with their car age. 40 years is really old for a car, so the character should be really old in robot years. 40 years would translate to like 50 or 60 in Cybertronian years if you get what I’m saying. So, Here’s the age of the real life cars and how old I imagined them to be in Cybertronian years. From oldest to youngest.

Green Truck was made in 1972, he is 48 years old. I pictured him being in his late 50s, coming on 60 years old in Cybertronian years.

Vega was made in 1974, he is 46 years old. I pictured him being in his mid 50s somewhere, in Cybertronian years of course.

Brown Suburban was made in 1978, he is 42 years old. Despite him not being that old in real life, I thought of him being ancient in Cybertronian years. Like, he’s closing up on 90 or something and yet he’s still super strong and in fighting condition. The idea was that Bulkhead and Wheeljack were surprised to see him on Earth, they both kind’a though he had died of age by then.

Escort was made in 1986, he is 34 years old. Not too old, but I portray him as if he’s reaching his 50s in Cybertronian years.

Suburban was made in 1988, he is 32 years old. I always pictured him being somewhere in his mid forty's in Cybertronian years.

Bash Buggy was made in 1990, he is 30 years old. I kind’a pictured him being somewhere in his 30s actually, so that works out.

Red Van was made in 1993, she is 27 years old. I thought she could be in her very early 40s. Like 41 or maybe 42 years old.

Miata was made in 1994, she is 26 years old. I always pictured her being like in her early twenties. Think 22 to 23.

I haven’t talked about him yet, but Duck Truck was made in 1996, and is 24 years old. He’s one of the Decepticons, his year was written down so I figured I’d add him in too. I always pictured him as a younger Cybertronian, like in his 20s somewhere.

Jeepy was made in 1996, he is 24 years old. Which is actually how old I always pictured him being. Young and full of spirit, probably about 24 years old in Cybertronian years.

Ranger was also made in 1996, she is also 24 years old. But I pictured her being somewhere in her late 30s, closing in in 40.

White Truck was also made in 1996, he also is 24 years old. But I pictured him being rather young, maybe just getting to 20 or a tiny bit older. Not quite at 24 I feel.

Volvo was made in 1998, he is 22 years old. But I feel this old crank pot would fit being around 30 to 35 years old better.

Honda was made in 2000, she is 20 years old. That’s just about how old I imagined her being, maybe a little older though? Maybe 23 to 24 or something.

Beluga was made in 2004, she is 16 years old. I always pictured her being closer to her big sisters age though, so maybe about 20 to 22 years old.

Then... there’s the Dragsters.. and here’s the thing.. U.M.Dragster was made in 2006, so he is 14 years old.. he is our youngest car. Then there’s A.T.Dragster, she was made in 1969, which makes her a whopping 51 years old and our oldest car to date.

This is where I broke that age rule.. I wanted these two to be twins for a multitude of reasons. But how could they be? One is 14 and one is 51, how can they be twins? So I thought okay, they cant be twins, period. ...but they at least need to be siblings, their history demands it. But how would that work?

There are 37 years of age in between them. If they were siblings they couldn’t have grown up together because of the age difference, so there wouldn't be that sibling bond.. But that’s what I want for them at least, is for them to be siblings that grew up together.

So I figured I had two options. I could either follow the age rule that I had structured for everyone else, and just either make them related in some other way other than siblings, or make them not related at all..

Or.. I could completely break the rule so that these two could be siblings.

I’m sure you know which one I went with. I couldn't justify them being twins though because the age difference still bugged me, so they’re just siblings.

A.T is supposed to be in her late 20s, and her little brother U.M is in his early 20s.

When it comes to the real team prime?

I imagined Optimus was like.. in his 40s or something?

I imagined Ratchet is in his 50s somewhere, maybe closing in on 60?

Bulkhead might be somewhere in his 30s.

Wheeljack could be in his 30s too, but I always saw him being a little older than the others.. maybe closing in on 40?

Bumblebee always came off as like a teen, but realistically he might just be early 20s.

Arcee seems like she might be in her late 20s somewhere.

Smokescreen seems to be early 20s, not sure if he’s older or younger than Bumblebee though.

I felt like Ultra Magnus could be in his 40s, but he’d be younger than Optimus I’d guess.

Ohh! That’s a clever one! :DD Well lets see, let me go through the list. XD

Suburban would probably tell you about the war itself, not really about his past specifically. Like, he’d tell you how the war started and what his job was as a medic. But he wouldn't tell you any of the gruesome stuff or much else, for his own sake and yours.

As far as Miata’s story has developed, she hasn’t experienced anything particularly traumatic. So she’d probably fill you in on all that she can remember.

Escort would tell you some stuff, but he wouldn’t tell you anything about what happened after the war on Cybertron. If you asked him he’d get pretty fidgety and would probably get upset.

Brown Suburban would tell you all the wrecker stories in the book, but would try and avoid the stories he thought you couldn’t handle. When it comes to his story specifically though.. he doesn’t want to talk about it.

Both Dragsters wouldn’t want to share their pasts, but might talk about their childhoods if you were nice enough.

Green Truck would probably tell you his whole life story, but would sugar coat it and gloss over the gruesome and traumatic details.

Vega would tell you everything he remembers. He would tell you about his life story, his family and his friends.. but then the story would abruptly cut, and Vega would kind’a get this.. strange look on his face. You’d ask, “What happens next?” And he would just quietly go, “..I.. I don’t know. Everything just.. goes black there. It was dark for a long time.. and then I just.. woke up.. thousands of years older than I was when I went to sleep.”

Red Van and Beluga would tell you the happy parts of their pasts and gloss over or sugar coat the gruesome parts.

If you coaxed him enough, White Truck would tell you everything, good and bad. But he’d be nervous or uncomfortable through most of it and it would put him in a weird mood for the rest of the day.

Honda would tell you in great detail about everything she remembers. But she would clam up when she got to the part of the story that talks about her first mission.

Ranger would tell you everything, good and bad, but would lighten it up a little bit as to not freak you out too much.

It would take some convincing, but Volvo would probably share a few interesting stories here and there. His past is not a pretty one, and he feels no reason to share it with anyone, unless its for educational reasons.

Jeepy wouldn’t tell you much. He doesn’t like to think about his past. But he would boast all day to anyone about that one time he saved someone's life or that time he got away from a dangerous situation unscathed.

Bash Buggy doesn’t like to talk about it much, but he would give you a general timeline of sorts. Like, “This happened, and then this, and then this guy came and this happened, and then this big thing happened, and a couple thousand years later I’m here.” kind’a thing.

It was redraw of that one meme from Ice age XD

But in all honesty, he probably has suffered enough damage at several points in his life that shut him down or at least should’ve, but he somehow got back up and kept moving.

The first thing he did when he woke up and really processed it, was he went to go wake up Suburban and show him.

I.. think you’re talking about this one? Haven’t seen the movie but it seems fun XD. My taste in movies is 𝒟𝒾𝓈𝓃𝑒𝓎.

You think what you’ve seen is cute? Boi you haven’t seen what he’s like when he’s trying to comfort someone. XD

First off, how dare you make me cry with your sickly sweet and heart felt words. Second off, thank you so much! And third, I can go over the process of how the 16 of them came to be if it’ll help. Don’t worry I’ll try and sum it up.

So, with other types of characters all this unique personality stuff would be pretty hard.. but with these real life cars turned into Transformers stuff? It was kind’a easy for me to do this.

For one, I based the cars personalities off of the vibe that the cars always gave off to me, and their drivers personalities. The best example being Honda. I always saw the car having this sweet and gentle vibe, and her driver is the same way. So as a character, I just gave her what felt most familiar when looking at that car.

Brown Suburban has always gave off the vibe that I designed him with. The strong and silent type, but with a big heart for kids and family. *cough cough* the wreckers *cough cough*.

With Volvo I didn’t really have either things to base him off of, so I just basically copied Ratchet and shifted his personality around a bit.

With Bash Buggy though, he’s a new edition to the family. We got him this year I believe. So I just designed a bot that could match how his car looks, and a personality came with it. He could have an adventurous personality, which is why he’d be in dangerous situations and always get hurt. And then I think, “Hey! He could be a Wrecker! A really tiny one!”. The personality stuff was just kind’a there already or was easy to imagine.

Now.. their bodies.. uh.. well, I started with the same thing every time If I remember right. I would take the front of the car, take it apart or split it and rearrange it on the chest of the transformer.

With Red Van, I took the face of the car, split it down the center and spread them apart to make the breast plates.

I basically did this with everyone else too. Just cut up the face of the car and rearranged them and put them on the chest of the transformers. Here’s Green Truck, Volvo and Vega as some more examples.

Well, I notice now my mistake now.. You see Optimus, Ratchet, Bumblebee and Arcee have windows on their bodies. The glass parts of their forms don't just shatter and disappear, the glass windows either rest on their chests or back wings. I should have put windows on some of their chests, and not put the tires or their back so much. But eh, you live and you learn. I’ll do better with the cons.

Now, when it comes to the arms and legs of the transformers, I just drew what felt right.. I don’t know what to tell you.. I can try to show you my thought process maybe?

Red Van is square, but round, not sharp like Suburban. She is more hollow than she is dense and she is not very complicated. In looks, and in functionality. I also wanted key features of hers to be present on her body to help identify her. Such as her silver trim, her hood ornament, etc.

So, with all these things in mind, I drew a character that matched the car and had all the mentioned features.

The face is more complicated.. but here’s what I remember thinking.

Its complicated.. uhg, I don’t even know if this is helping.

But basically, I based the characters off of the cars they are, the history they have, and the people who drive them. For personality and looks.

By taking the car, deconstructing some parts of it and rearranging them on the body of the character, it makes things a little easier. And if the character is modelled after someone that already exists, it makes constructing their personality a lot easier.

Overall, this is all I can really tell you. Most of their designing was just stuff I pulled out of my aft and slapped on the paper. I have no idea how I thought of these things but I did, and now they’re here.

I hope this was somewhat informative, I know I probably didn’t explain it well or even answer your question.. If I didn’t, please. ask me again so I can actually try to help you.

Anyway, thank you for the ask. I took it as a huge compliment and it got me all giddy, XD I hope I was at least a little help in your artistic adventures. :} ♡

#my response #transformer ocs #my advice #my tutorials #transformers #transformers prime

46 notes · View notes

acidproofnotebook · 3 years

Text

OPM Chapter 84, Update 125

As first published online

Translator: u/Mynthence

Title Page: In order to remain solitary, instead of in solitude.

Page 1 Page 2 Page 3 Page 4 Page 5

Movements that are a perfect blend of attack and defense.

Even though it’s the same Water Stream Rock Smashing Fist the difference in degrees of completion are plainly evident.

The result is obvious.

Page 6

Fuu!!

Page 7 Page 8 Page 9

grab

Bwoh!?

Page 10

Ubuh!!

Page 11

Wh…what’s…with…

This flashy assault, it’s not like the damn geezer at all…

Page 12

N…not good…

My consciousness is fad…

No….I’m gonna die…

…….tsk!!!

Gwah!

Page 13

What’s with those weird movements

where did you learn them?

Like a beast

Not yet!

Page 14

If I can use the heroes that are unconscious as hostages, there’s still a chance!!

I won’t let you

Ugah

Page 15 Page 16

Bang!

I’ve taken care of all the monsters that came out of the hole

All that’s left is Garou

Page 17

There’s still some monster-like reactions but

Beep beep…

For some reason I can’t ascertain the exact number and location…

Will going through that hole take us to the Monster Association’s base?

The guys from the Monster Association…were they wiped out?

They’re useless…!!!

Page 18

I thought we brought enough forces to capture Garou alive but…

Demon Cyborg…to think that he would be this strong

Silver Fang is here too. With this there’s no chance to take him away…

But if I go back empty-handed after expending all these troops, I might be the next one to be eaten by Orochi…

Page 19

Garou will just have to break through this situation with his own power…

…but it’s hopeless…

Should I start thinking about how to live after leaving the Monster Association…?

Hey brother…if it was you…

Would you still be able to stand up with his level of injuries?

…if I was 60 years younger I could try

…probably

Alright! Just a little bit more!!!

Let’s finish this before the other heroes show up, Bang!

Indeed

Page 20

Gugi…

My arms aren’t working properly anymore…

That geezer Bang, going after his former number one disciple when he’s been weakened…how vicious is he?

Page 21

Not to mention that the geezer that’s beating me up with him is Bomb, the master of the Whirlwind Iron Cutting Fist

For the leaders of the martial arts world to come at me two-on-one, do they have no shame or care for their reputations?

Even if I pretend to beg for my life to these guys, I’m sure the Demon Cyborg won’t let me go

In other words, in order to overcome this extremely critical situation, I need to kill all three of them

Page 22

That’s impossible.

Know the pain of my “number one disciple” Charanko

Garou!!

Page 23

Let’s play Hero!

Garou. You’ll play too, right?

Let’s play, let’s play.

Okay

Page 24

Introductory music

Justice Man has arrived!

Justice Man Kick

Ouch!

Hey

Page 25

That’s dangerous

What?

I feel bad for him

………………

Then you should play the part of the Monster

Justice Man Cross Chop

Woah

Why did you dodge

S, sorry Tacchan

I scratched up my hand

You’re the Monster. Why can’t you read the mood?

Hold Garou down

Okay

Page 26

Justice Man Kick!

I’ve defeated the Monster, Garou Poop Man~

What’s this, is it the thing they call a flashback?

This is a fairly private memory I’d prefer to not remember

This should be…Right…Tacchan…the popular kid in my class…

Page 27

Eh? What? Why are the boys fighting?

Did anyone call the teacher?

Garou’s going wild

Garou got mad, even though we were just playing

I can’t…stand it anymore…

What’s with him?

Tacchan

Fight me!

Huh? What are you saying?

It’s just Hero

Page 28 I don’t want to be the Monster anymore! It’s not fun! Fight me, and if I win, you have to promise that you won’t bother me anymore!

Sabuchin, Yochan, hold Garou down

That’s not fair…stop…let me go! I…

Ugh

Damnit!!

Woah, he’s snapped! Call the teacher

Tacchan, run away

Hold him down! Hold him down!

What’s going on?

Perfect timing. You guys help out too.

He got carried away because Taachan’s too nice

Gross

I heard Garou got pissed off at Taachan while they were playing Hero. (lol)

Seriously? What’s he thinking?

Poor Taachan

Page 29

Taachan would easily get carried away

Taachan was good at sports

Taachan liked bullying weak people

Taachan was popular with the girls

Taachan was a disgusting guy

Taachan was popular

I was the gloomy guy who was always alone

I didn’t have any friends

I hated popular people

Why did you go wild?

Teacher, Taachan always

I heard you got mad while playing Hero. Is that true?

They always make me be the Monster

You can’t even tell the difference between make-believe and reality!?

That’s not it. Everyone says it’s my fault because Taachan is popular…

You’re the one who went crazy! How will you take responsibility if the windows get broken!

NO!

Page 30

It’s not that I hate being the Monster.

Is it that I didn’t like Taachan being the Hero?

No that’s not it

I was sensing a crushing sense of unfairness through the Hero game. A game designed in a way that would let the popular kid who was loved by everyone to one-sidedly beat up the weak kid that no one liked.

You did something bad, so go apologize.

I’m calling your parents too

This wasn’t just bullying. The game that faithfully reproduced the children’s TV shows was accepted by the public. You’re free to play any role that you want in this game, but the role of the Hero requires the approval of all those who are playing, so naturally I never had a chance to play that part. And of course, a scenario where the Monster wins doesn’t exist to begin with, so I have to always lose.

Page 31

What’s Justice! What’s Evil! In the end, I get killed because of the majority! I can’t accept that! It’s unfair!

I can’t explain the reason very well but I’m angry!

I just want to let them know!

I want them to experience a weakling’s attack!

I want to deny the positions of good and evil!

Page 32

He’s going to fall

This is the end

Page 33

Like I’d let myself be finished off in a place like this!

Page 34 Page 35

What?

Page 36

Oh!

Page 37 Page 38

What’s with that power…

from that broken body!?

Page 39

Give it up Garou!

If you keep on going… You’ll really die!!!

Bang, above you!

Page 40 Page 41

Woah!?

Page 42

A monster!?

So there were still some left!!!

Page 43

Genos!

Bang, you saw his appearance just now!

He’s a monster now! He even has companions!

It’s okay if I shoot Garou down with him, right?

Page 44

Did you hear that!!?

I’ll take Garou away from here

You can crush everyone on the ground right now!

I leave the rest to you!!

???

Page 45

Rasen Shoukyaku Hou (Spiral Incineration Cannon)

Page 46

Elder Centipede!

Page 47 Page 48 Page 49 Page 50

What was that!?

Page 51 Page 52

Disaster Level: Dragon Giant Mysterious Insect Elder Centipede

Page 53

W…what….

Is this a living being !!?

Oh no!!!

We need to protect them!

Page 54

Here we go

Page 55 Page 56

So this is the source of the reaction from before…

It’s not that I couldn’t pinpoint its location…it was too big!

Page 57

To think that it could take a direct hit from the cannon and have no injuries

This is going to be a tough opponent…

That centipede is…

Page 58

What do you think you’re doing, butting in like that!

Just let Elder Centipede take care of things here

He is a great calamity that swallows up everything

I’m fascinated by that unstoppable destructive power

You’re not thorough enough Hero Hunter

Once you defeat an opponent, you need to make sure you finish them off

It seems that all those heroes lying down over there are still alive

Page 59

Well…don’t worry

Elder Centipede will end everything

Stop interfering!

Let me down right now!

Those are my prey!

Hey, quit struggling

Damnit! Go back!

I won’t forgive you!

Hahaha…why are you so mad.

It’s your fault for not finishing the job.

Also…it’s convenient that we can erase two S-class here.

For the Monster Association, S-class heroes are the biggest threat

Page 60

You also directly experienced it

…..

In any fight there’s something called compatibility

According to our adviser Gyoro Gyoro

Out of all the heroes there are only four who can stand up against the Elder Centipede

Page 61

The peerless one wielding the strongest psychic ability “Tornado of Terror”

The one whose hidden military strength can’t be grasped by even the Hero Association “Metal Knight”

Page 62

The strongest man on earth “King”

And…the top hero that pushed Elder Centipede to the brink of death two years ago

“Blast”

Page 63

They say that Elder Centipede decided to cooperate with the Monster Association in order to get its revenge on Blast

It’s eager to pull Blast, who doesn’t come to the forefront, back onto the battlefield.

But…Unfortunately, those two don’t have the ability to break through this current situation.

Silver Fang is without equal in regards to his strength in hand-to-hand combat, but that only applies to opponents that are of a size that can be affected by martial arts.

Demon Cyborg’s abilities are outstanding but

He shouldn’t be equipped with any weapons that can take on a giant insect beast

And his firepower can’t go beyond the capabilities of his weapons

That’s his limit

Page 64

They will definitely be destroyed

Here it comes!!!

Page 65 Page 66

shine

Page 67

Whirl Wind

Water Stream

Page 68

Todoroki Kuuretsu Ken (Roaring Sky Splitting Fist)

Page 69 Page 70 Page 71 Page 72

What is that move

We have a special move that takes advantage of the opponent’s openings

We’re counting on you to distract it

It broken that super hard shell into pieces…!?

This is

The pinnacle of skill

Page 73

Not yet Not yet Not yet Not yet Not yet Not yet Not yet Not yet

Page 74 Page 75

Oh….

Goaaaahhhh

Guh

Page 76

Oww…

We let down our guard

But it was effective

The shockwave is circulating throughout its body

Blow up into pieces you monster

It’s a super move that can only be pulled off once by geezers like us

I’m glad it hit

Thank you Genos

Page 77

It’s finished

Page 78

Hm?

Page 79

Seriously?

Page 80

This guy molted…!!!

And didn’t it get bigger than before!?

No way!

Page 81

We can’t beat this thing…!

If we have to protect the unconscious heroes at the same time…

What should we do!? Bang!

Even if we back off, it would probably come after us and…

It’s all residential areas outside of Forest Park…

If we leave, it’ll affect the civilians…

Page 82

Bang

I’ll fight it

I’ll hold off that centipede as long as I can so

Take the injured and escape

Page 83

Genos

Are you saying that you’ll fight that thing on your own?

I can’t agree with that…

You don’t need to push yourself. You know that you can’t win

You young ones have still have a future

Genos

Just don’t overdo it

Page 84

Is that…

Really okay?

Page 85

There’s no way

Page 86

That’s okay

Page 87 Page 88 Page 89

There’s no way!

Cannons don’t work on it!

Page 90

This guy

And the guy from yesterday

Page 91

And Garou

Are all part of the Monster Association

This fight

Is unavoidable

Page 92 Page 93 Page 94

Dual Blade Rush

That’s what it means to fight against them

Page 95

I’m participating in this fight

Grind into pieces

Page 96

If you say that’s being reckless

Crack

Uh…

Page 97

Genos!!!

At this rate

I…

Page 98

Won’t be able to stay in the fight

Page 99 Page 100

Jet Drive Arrow

Page 101

Uooohhhh!!!

Page 102 Page 103

Ugoah

He went into its mouth

Oh no…

Page 104

Digestive juices

I’ll completely melt you in a few seconds

You’re the one that’s going to melt

Page 105

Chou Rasen Shoukyaku Hou (Super Spiral Incineration Cannon)

Page 106 Page 107

…….!!!

He did it!!

Clank

…..

Page 108

Crack crack

Page 109

Crack crack

Crack

grin

Again…

I…

Can’t win…

Can’t protect…

Page 110

We’re getting out of here

sizzle

Brother! Grab those guys and run!!

It’s useless

What’s wrong?

Are you disgusted that you ended up being partially responsible for slaughtering those heroes?

Page 111

That’s not it!

I’m just disappointed by this ending!!!

I…want to defeat them with my own power!

By doing so, I become the symbol of fear…!!

That’s the meaning behind the hero hunting!!!

The symbol of fear? You? Hahaha…

If you were to go back now, you would only end up getting stomped on together with the heroes.

Right now you don’t have the strength to go against Elder Centipede or the officers of the Monster Association.

Page 112

Guh…

Just…you wait…and see…

What should I do…

Page 113

What is it that I lack…!?

Are there still more guys like that?

In front of guys like that…

Am I only able to suck on my thumb while watching them…?

Bang! This isn’t good. If we keep going

We’ll exit the Forest Park!

Page 114

Also…I can’t run for very long while carrying this many people

How old do you think I am

Do or die…

Brother

Page 115

I’m going to go all out for the last time in my life

Page 116

Elder Centipede~!!!

Hey! You pest!!!!!

I’ve brought the “Blast” that you’ve been looking for!!!!!

Page 117

That voice is…King!!?

Blast!?

What…!

!!!?

Look!!

Its movements have stopped

And it’s turned around

Page 118

Blast…?

Yes…that’s right! The opponent that beat you up and made you run away while peeing your pants….the hero Blast!!

If you want to fight against Blast again, come over here!

What’s wrong? Are you so scared that you can’t move!? You’re spineless!!! Hey, if you’re going to shit yourself, do it at home!

A weak little bug like you should go back underground and suck on your mom’s tits!!!

Page 119

King made it to the location in City S where Elder Centipede reappeared!!!

That’s good! King should be able to do something about this situation…

Yes…there are still several heroes in that area

And when I told him that they might become casualties from any fighting nearby

He told me “Give me any information that might provoke Elder Centipede”

He undoubtedly plans on luring the enemy to where he is and fighting it one-on-one

Page 120

When Blast severely wounded it, it escaped and ran away underground

I hope we can defeat it this time…

It was top secret information, but I relayed the information detailing the monster and Blast’s connection to him

Also, I told him that if the battle were to be prolonged or if they were to change locations, the damage to the surrounding areas would be tremendous

And what how did he respond?

Just one word: “Understood”…

Together with the reverberations of the King Engine

Page 121

Draw the enemy this way so there aren’t any more casualties…

If the enemy is wounded, finish it off before it escapes underground…

Finish it as quickly as possible…

Any attacks should be contained within a limited range…and no attacks that might knock the centipede into the residential areas…

That’s all

Page 122

…..

…tama?

Page 123

Saitama~!!!?

It’s going to hit

Page 124 Page 125 Page 126

Ser

Page 127 Page 128

ious

Page 129

Pun

Page 130 Page 131

Page 132 Page 133 Oh

Page 134

Is that you, Genos?

Page 135

So you were here.

Just like King said

Yeah…and it looks like we came just in the nick of time

Good thing we came

Oh…?

Saitama…you look kind of refreshed

What happened?

I kind of feel like I let off a lot of steam

Page 136

I had a lot of stress built up because you kept beating me in those games

So he was still pissed off

Well…I wanted to teach you that your way of fighting with only one style of attack isn’t good…

Saitama-sensei, I wish to ask you a question

What is it?

What do you think I am lacking?

Isn’t it power?

Page 137

….!!!!

Thank you very much!

Ahhhhhhhh….That’s no good…

You probably shouldn’t use Saitama as a point of reference, Genos…

Sensei’s fights show me the path that I should take

The symbol of strength

That is what I should aim for…

I will also reach that place

Page 138

Garou…so you finally passed out

Rest well

We’ll reach Orochi soon

#OPM #manga #manga chapters #translation #chapter 84 #long #transcript

2 notes · View notes

afaithy · 4 years

Note

81 for Takari like their brothers are fighting again and one of them just goes "I'll take care of it"

I hope you enjoy it!

It was really fun to write lol

Just in case! This is sequel to I liked them blonde

SEND MORE ASKS: HERE

_____________________________________________________________

I’ll take care of it

“Dramatic is a classy word for being stupid.”

― Vivek Thangaswamy

Yamato was used to dealing with Taichi's strange occurrences. His friend was a good person, but his impulsiveness sometimes led him to make silly mistakes that he eventually regretted. A clear example of this was the sometimes ridiculous fights that the boy used to have with Sora at least once a month.

So when Taichi entered his room unannounced and without even asking for permission, Yamato was not surprised. Taichi looked irritated, that at least was clear to the naked eye. The question was ... why?

"You know, there’s something that normal people do...called knocking.” the blonde replied while he played a chord in his guitar.

“Forget about knocking.” Taichi replied, waving his hand in front of his face “We need to talk.”

“Wow...that almost sounds serious. Who let you in?”

“Takeru…” Taichi replied without giving it importance and this is serious.”

“Oh…” Yamato said, putting away the guitar and leaning back in his chair “Ok...so what did you do to annoy Sora?”

“It has nothing to do with Sora?” Taichi said with a frown” Everyone always ask me that.”

“Well, 60% of the times you comer angry or panicked is because you were stupid enough to say something to make her get angry.” Yamato shrugged “the other 40% splits into 30% due to something related to your sister and 10% some miscellaneous thing. So, what did you do? Did you tell her hat made her head look swollen again?”

“THat was when we were 12 years old and, in my defense, the hat did make her head look big.”

“Taichi...you just don’t tell those kinds of things to any girl.”

“Like I said I was 12, and this is irrelevant.” Taichi said, crossing his arms “No, it’s not about Sora.”

Yamato snorted. He leaned against his desk and looked at his friend with curiosity.

“So...what is it?”

“LIsten to me carefully, Yamato.” Taichi said, grabbing his friend’s shoulders “very carefully…”

Yamato was surprised by this gesture and he looked at Taichi dumbfounded.

“Yeah?”

“I think….damn...I can’t even say it.” Taichi said, turning away dramatically.

“Taichi, just spit it out.”

“Ahg...fine. I think Hikari has a crush on you!”

There was a brief moment of silence as both boys stared at each other, and then Yamato broke into a fit of laughter that made Taichi look at him confused. The boy couldn’t see what was so amusing about what he’d just say.

“Sorry...I think I heard you wrong. What?” Yamato said, when his laughter finally died away.

“You heard me right, ok?” Taichi replied, annoyed, “Hikari has a crush on you…”

“Yeah, right…” Yamato said skeptically “ That’s impossible. She thinks of me as another brother, so no way…”

“Well...believe it because she definitely hinted at it.”

“Are you sure you are not misreading things?” Yamato said, frowning, “It wouldn’t be the first time you misunderstand something.”

“No, I am sure I didn’t.” Taichi said firmly “That is why I decided to talk about it with you.”

“With me? What are you expecting me to do?”

“Well, yeah. Get yourself a girlfriend...or do something to make her lose interest!”

“Ok...hold on a second…” Yamato said “Why do you even think this is possible?”

“I did my research and there is a very high chance of girls her age to fall in love with older brotherly figures!”

“Ok...right, but if that is your reasoning,Jou and Koushiro could be an option, too. It doesn’t have to be me!”

Taichi let out a sigh.

“I hate to admit this, but. You are probably the one who fits the good looking brotherly figure, the protagonist falls in love with…”

“That makes...wait. Did you say protagonist? Where the hell did you research on?”

“Isn’t it obvious? I paid a visit to the shoujo manga section.” Taichi replied, as if the matter was the most obvious thing to do.

“Ok...I don’t know if I should be annoyed or if I should laugh my ass off.” Yamato said , resting his hand on his forehead “Taichi, what in heaven’s name made you think that shoujo manga is actually good reference material?”

“Why not?”

“Those are always so dramatic, exaggerated and unrealistic.”

“Have you read them?”

“No.”

“Then how do you know?”

“It’s called common reasoning.” Yamato replied, rolling his eyes “Does Hikari even read shoujo manga?”

“I don’t know...maybe? The point is...you are the cool bro. I mean...I am the coolest, but obviously I am not an option.”

Yamato let out a skeptical snort.

“I have a lot of things to say about that remark, but...for the time being, I’ll let it slip.” Yamato replied, frowning, “ Look...Hikari is a sweet girl and we get along, but she definitely has no crush on me.”

“But it HAS to be you. I mean you’re the one who fills up the profile.” Taichi groaned “i’ve been thinking about it for days! And it definitely has to be you!”

Yamato took a deep breath and pinched his temple. Taichi could be his best buddy, but sometimes, the guy could be a real fool.

“Ok...enlighten me.” Yamato said, crossing his arms.

The blonde was pretty sure that nothing that Taichi could say would convince him that Hikari had -remotely- a crush on him. He was no expert with middle schoolers with crushes, but he had his own fan base, and he’d seen girls crushing on him before. Even if they tried to make it less obvious, you could tell easily: the way they couldn’t look straight at your face or how they wouldn’t speak freely with you.

Hikari was not like that. In fact, she was as natural with him as she always was or even worse. The girl even began teasing him about his fan base and he blamed that on Takeru.

“Ok.” Taichi began “It took me a lot of skillful talking to get this out of her but…”

Yamato snorted once more. Skillful talking, coming from Taichi, translated to popping his head in her room and randomly asking her things.

“For starters, she has a boy she likes.” Taichi said dramatically. “I know this would happen someday, but gosh...I was hoping it would be when she was 25 or something…”

“Taichi…”

“Yeah, sorry. Naturally, after hearing about that...I had to inquire. So it seems the guy is close to her. She said he’s always worrying about her and helps her whenever she needs it or not. She said it sort of made her feel safe, almost as safe as when she is with me. You notice? With me!”

Yamato rolled his eyes.

“But no matter how much I asked she wouldn’t tell who it is.” Taichi said, annoyed “Tell you? So that you can go and pester him around when he doesn’t even understand why? Forget it.” he added in a very poor impression of his sister “so...I had to take the clues I had and be smart and put the points together.Hikari has few boy friends, so it has to be so it has to be one of us...”

“So...you concluded it was me.” Yamato said, raising his eyebrow “You know that description is pretty generic. Everyone in our group acts like that with her. It could be anyone…”

“Ah...but there’s the thing. There IS one thing that totally points at you…”

“And that is…”

“She likes blondes.”

There was a short pause. Yamato stared at his friend in shock and disbelief. That little detail had automatically turned his friend’s attention to him when there was a second and -most likely the right one- person that fulfilled all those qualifications even better than himself.

Yamato was about to voice his thoughts when a soft knock at the door made both boys turn to the opening door. Takeru with his usual green hoodie and his fisherman’s hat poked his head into the room with an innocent grin.

Talk about the hen. Yamato thought with a smirk.

“Hey!” Takeru said “Just letting you know, Hikari -chan texted me saying that she wanted to go grab ice cream in that new ice cream parlor in the park. Told her I would go with her, but I’ll probably be back by dinner. Do you want me to buy something on the way back?”

“Sure, why not?” Yamato replied. Taichi was staring at Takeru and Yamato couldn’t help but wonder if his neurons had finally pieced it together.

“Oh, ok. Then see you in a bit. Bye Taichi-san!”

Takeru waved at them and left the room, closing the door. The two older boys stared at each other in his silence for a minute or two, until Taichi growled.

“Holy numemons….” Taichi said “Takeru is blonde!”

“How come you realized this until now?”

“Hey, don’t blame me! How do you expect me to remember such a thing when he’s always wearing those silly hats.”

“That’s no excuse…”

“Damn it...I never considered Takeru! I was dead sure it was you….”

“Taichi...let it be. If Hikari has a crush on my brother let it be. You know he’s a good kid.”

“But...Hikari...what if he breaks her heart. He’s her best friend! Ah...this is even worse than you!”

“I’m sure it will be fine, Taichi.”

“How do you know?”

“Because...I know.”

“That’s not convincing at all.”

“Seriously. Don’t worry. I’ll take care of it.”

And take care of it, he would. Yamato hadn’t pressed the matter with Takeru, since the boy was still in denial and he had thought the feelings were one sided. Taichi had just confirmed him otherwise, so there was no way he would let his little brother be an idiot any longer if he could help it.

My Yamato turned out looking like a baby version of Cloud LoL

#digimon #digimon 2020 #digimon 2020 psi #fanfiction #yamato ishida #yagami taichi #takari #takeru takaishi #hikari yagami #my drabbles

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anne-lister-adventures · 4 years

Text

Saturday, 2 May 1840

6 3/4

1 3/4

Very fine morning and Reaumur 10 1/2º at 6 3/4 a.m. the German woman came with butter A[Ann] wrong again because I took one instead of half a pound surely I shall now stick to my purpose and get rid of her some way or other as well as I can

At 10 came Hoffman for 1/2 the money in advance for the carriage doing yet he has been since Wednesday morning and done nothing at it! I would give him the money if he would give me security for having it done as he promised I said on Tuesday but it was agreed to be done on Monday evening – No! He had taken 2 Calêches to do, and the Kibitka was to be ready next Tuesday week! No! said I, I must be auge or demidieu not to be out of patience with this – Tell the man I wish him good morning – And I sent George with compliments to Mr. Chwostoff to ask him to be so good as say when he could come –

I should go out today at 1 1/2 for a couple of hours except this had no engagement – George can literally do nothing i.e. get nothing done for us – What can be the reason of it? I cannot comprehend the man he is Russian – It is not that he cannot explain what is wanted – Had George in soon afterwards about what to do with Domna – Mentioned her going to Mr. Besoc’s – Longish talk – George went to her, and brought word back that she should not like to be at Mr. B-s[Besoc’s] all the people being Georgians – What would she like? To be at the house of a Marchand here whose wife had been to visit her – Said I had nothing to say against her objection to Mr. Besoc’s – Would consult Mr. Chwostoff tonight – George to inquire into the volonté of Domná and if her volonté and mine agreed, the matter would be easy – If not, I would arrange some other way – But if she returned I saw no way but his going with her – A-[Ann] and I sat talking things over she mending gloves &c. at my elbow, I drinking raisin tea and eating the raisins being thirsty – Then wrote the last 8 lines till now 1 5/’’ –

At 1 1/2 Hajie Yoosoof came and brought a youth with him – At the moment Madame and Mademoiselle Golovin were announced sent off Hajie and received the ladies who sat some time very civil Mr. Stadler soon came and sat more than 1/2 the time they were here, and after they went took him with us to the Gymnase for Hajie returned for us soon after 2 –

Large handsome building 60 élèves du Gouvernement – Building 50,000/- and 3,000/- (en argent) per annum allowed in the Directeur and Master of the School only arrived about a month ago from St. P-[Petersburg] the latter had been 3 years at St. P-[Petersburg] a student before that at Charkoff –

The Tiflis Gymmase. (Image Source)

He shewed us his translation into Russian of Romeo and Juliet, and his Baudry-Paris Edition of Shakspeare[Shakespeare] in 2 volumes large 8vo.[octavo] – Good clear print – The edition corrected by Chalmers – Well-informed gentlemanly man – Turned to Macbeth – The beginning – Aroint thee witch – The glossary explained it – Avaunt – Begone – Mentioned the conjecture of a learned Scotsman (Dr. Hunter ages ago to my Aunt Anne) – That aroint thee should probably be a rowan tree, witch – i.e. the rowan tree or mountain ash was a spell against witchcraft – Or it might mean, that the shaft of the besom on which witches rode was generally of rowan tree, and that the witch should betake herself to it and begone – But now on writing this (at 10 55/’’ p.m.) it seems to me that the conjecture was that rowan tree witch, meant, there is, or I have, or beware of, a rowantree, or spell against thy powers, and will have nothing to say to thee –

The rooms of the Gymnase large lofty and good – And the master’s apartment very nice and comfortable – Tasted the soup the roast beef and soup the 5 boys remaining (vacance – All the rest gone to their friends to return next week) had for dinner – very good beef – Tender – Best we have tasted here – The Maître de Pension gave us chocolate and excellent Savoy Biscuits as we talked over Shakespeare – Mr. Stadler, too, at home on the subject of English Literature –

From there to Hajie Yoosoofs house in the square Abasabad – He shewed us several dictionaries and grammars – English Richardson’s Dictionary and Sir William Jones’s Grammar and Jauberts French Turkish Grammar – At last shewed his own MS. Grammar in Persian Tartar and Turkish – Had given 29 lessons to a young Prince Tchetchevadsoff (vide the name right spelt a p.[page] or 2 back) and he could already read and speak a little Persian – Mr. Stadler as we talked it over afterwards thought our Hajie’s grammar quite on an Eastern plan, no easier to an European, nor so easy as the common method – For my part, I am no judge – But it is probable that Lord Clanricarde will not trouble himself much about grammar or asiatic society in this case – Got away as soon as we could much obliged to Mr. S-[Stadler] –

Came in at 4 50/’’ – Sat talking – Dinner about 5 17/’’ that is eggs and barley cake and butter and a little cheese and wine and water – Had just got all sided (about 7 p.m.) when Mr. Chwostoff came and staid till 10 25/’’ – Had stood some time but we somehow got to the subject of our English Ministers and their measures and Hein came –

Soon after Mr. S-[Stadler] came we had sent for Hoffmann who arrived too tipsy to be fit for anything ∴[therefore] sent him off – With Hein la chose s’arrangeait – The carriage to be done on Thursday or Hein to forfeit (to pay) for 55/- S.[Silver] R.[Rubles] which it is now agreed to pay – He to send the carriage back but I to pay for its going to him = 3 or 4 abasses – Does not want paying till the work is done –

Had talked over the affair of the servants – Of leaving Domna – On C-‘s[Chwostoff’s] saying it would be best to give her so much, and let her arrange for herself, but surprised she would not go chez Mr. Besoc, I proposed giving her her wages as usual and doubling her allowance for nourriture i.e. giving her 2/- a day – Yes! That would be quite enough – And if I gave George 1/- per day for the time he had been here it would be quite enough –

All this settled we had tea – Green exprès for Mr. C-[Chwostoff] and he probably thought it good; for he took 2 cups – Did not know of any other place (Inn) for us to be at than this – Shops here where nothing but Persian things are sold in a Georgian (Colonel in the Russian Service) here learned in the Persian language and who has just finished or is finishing – Persian Grammar and Dictionary –

On C-‘s[Chwostoff’s] going away asked what books we could bring from England, should we return to go to Persia, that he would like – But said he was of course aware of the difficulty – All must be sent to the Censureship – He said we should get the Russian Ambassador’s seal put on the package – Box or caisse – This led to explaining the difficulty of this – Lord S.[Stuart] de R-‘s[Rothesay’s] getting our passport signed Whig Ministers &c. &c. – But inquire again as to getting the Russian Minister’s seal – He might safely give it to us – We are certainly not likely to aid the spread of Whig politics –

C-[Chwostoff] asked to see A-‘s[Ann’s] album – heard we had beautiful views &c. &c. !!! Explained – Shewed A-‘s[Ann’s] little unfinished sketches – I wish we could se fournir de jolies dessins –

Had Domna and had just read a few pp.[pages] of vol.[volume] 3 Dubois and had just written the last 4 1/2 lines of p.[page] 181 and the last p.[page] and so far of this now at 12 10/’’ – Very fine day, but rather windy –

Mr. C-[Chwostoff] spoke of the amazing of trotting horses in America – The Marquis of Sligo had bought 2 horses in Philadelphia that trotted in double harness 19 English miles an hour with ease – He had given 2000 dollars for one horse – But for 600 dollars one could have a good horse that would trot 19 miles an hour in harness – The American horses taught to trot from their ‘infancy’ –Could trot a mile in 1 20/’’ minutes to 1 1/2 minutes – the latter pace common enough! – I had boasted that our English horses could trot as well as the American – no! said I – now I give in – we cannot do that – a mile in 1/2 minute a common trotting speed = 60 x 2 / 3 = 40 miles an hour!!! they can beat our best blood horses at gallop – Yes! They could – I said I had once ridden 2 miles in 4 minutes and thought it a great thing and I had trotted 14 miles in an hour (the little brown Buskett mare at Skelfler) and thought the galloping in particular a great thing – But I had only gone at the rate of 30 miles an hour and American horses can trot at the rate of 40!!! –

It seems the great Western America-going steamer is taken up by our government for the India Mail to Alexandria and letters do not now go viâ Marseilles – And by this new arrangement government would save £60,000 a year – Speaking on the head of Whig savings, I said we paid the same taxes as before the petites économies of clerks and ladies pensions &c. &c. and in a time of and after 20 years of profound peace, we still borrowed, Ministers could not make all ends meet! –

C-[Chwostoff] said we were better off in war – No nation had gained by the peace – Nor England nor Russia nor France still in a precarious state – And we should go on from change to change till we had (such was the sense of his phrase) run the whole rig – Had just written so far now at 12 40/’’

[symbols in the margin of the page:] ✓ ✓ + ✓ + +

[in the margin of the page:] Hoffman again

[in the margin of the page:] Gymnase

[in the margin of the page:] Mr. C-[Chwostoff] drank tea with us

[in the margin of the page:] Agreement with Hein

Page References: SH:7/ML/E/24/0093 and SH:7/ML/E/24/0094 and SH:7/ML/E/24/0095

#anne lister code breaker #anne lister #ann walker #moscow to baku 1840

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northwind4 · 4 years

Text

Dearest WingDings（11）

*It's a story about HandPlates! Gaster and Wing! Gaster

*I’ll appreciate it very much if you point out the mistakes I made in the translation, all kinds of help are welcomed!

*previous & next

*Handplates by @zarla-s

Wing!Gaster by me

————————————————

Chapter11

“WAR AGAINST THE PLATES”

174

The coffee was ready, Wing walked over and filled two mugs.

“When is the last time we slept?”He went to the workbench and handed one of the mugs to his companion.

Gaster glanced at the clock.

“6 days ago, I think.”

175

Gaster finally recovered completely a week ago, and a new plan was launched.

The previous project was canceled, and they arranged a comprehensive medical examination for the little skeletons. They also prepared the daily activities that children of this age should have, including courses and entertainment.

Although forgiving and overcoming the shadows of the past still had a long way to go, at least this was a new beginning.

The top-ranked items on the to-do list, right after “Accept Papyrus’ hug invitations anytime and anywhere”, was an iconic operation:

“i don’t care how long your mercy will last,”said Sans, “remove this weird thing first if you really want to show some kindness.”

W: Oh dear I can’t help wondering if you peeked at the outline.

GPS :? ? ?

W: Uh, sorry, I mean future.

W: And this is exactly what we are going to do next.

176

Plan 1

W: Since you drilled holes with an electric drill and then fixed it with screws

W: Sounds like it’s not that difficult to remove them.

G: ...

G: In order to prevent them from moving the plates themselves

He looked away.

G: I added some other magic to it

Plan 1 failed.

177

W: I made the 3D model of the children’s hands

W: Then we can make solid models with artificial calcium compounds and magic, which can act like the real bones to the greatest extent for practical operation.

W: We need about 20?

W: What’s that expression...

W: 30?

W: 40? 50? 60?

G: ...

G: Ten times more...please

178

WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO THEM YOU BAD SKELETON

179

W: (Turn on the computer to play the music Spear of Justice)

W: NGAHHH——!

G: What’s wrong with you

W: Howling to increase determination —__—

W: After all, this will be a huge project

180

Plan 5 failed.

W: It’s ok

W: It’s normal for this complicated operation to fail even 20 times.

181

Plan 26 failed.

W: emmmm

W: Sure enough, 20 is not enough.

W: Come on, there are more than 500 opportunities waiting for us!

182

Plan 159 failed.

W: Do you have more coffee?

G: I thought you would never be sleepy

W: Yeah I did not feel tired after becoming like this...I used to thought I didn’t need to eat or sleep anymore

W: Now it seems that I still have the limitation.

183

Plan 234 failed.

W: Honestly

W: If this thing is nailed to my hand

W: I’d rather break my whole hand than letting it stay on me

G: ...

W: Don’t tell me you think this can be tried to the kids

184

G: Maybe we can try to destroy the plates

W: Yes, but they are much stronger than the bones...

W: But we will never know without trying

185

Plan 287 failed.

Two scientists who had not slept for 3 days sank in the chair.

W: What on-under the earth did you use to make this thing?

W: Feels like it’s full of determination

G: It’s true that I was determined at the time

W: ...

Wing threw a part of himself at Gaster.

W: (*weakly)I’m gonna kill you...

186

Plan 299 failed.

W: Fine. You made me mad, little plate.

W: Do you think it will work if the beam of Gaster Blaster is focused on one point? Will it be strong enough to break the plate?

G: Yeah, together with the bones.

W: ...come on, I will control it

W: Ready?

W: HERE COMES THE 60000 ATTACK! !

187

The little skeletons playing in another room were attracted by the loud noise.

A large hole was smashed on the laboratory’s wall, and two Dr.Gasters were buried under the bricks and limestones. Inside the lab, the plate on the workbench was totally intact.

Wing climbed out of the piles of wall bricks. He lifted Gaster who had fallen on his body, shaking off the dust.

W: Are you okay?

G: Hmm...fine...

W: What material did you use to make that...?

W: It seems to be even stronger than the BARRIER.

Plan 300 failed.

188

Plan 324 failed.

W: It’s time to cook for the children again

W: Come on, you go to cook and take a break

G: No, you go to cook

W: You go

G: You go

W: You

Sans came over.

W: Hello kid, what’s up?

S: my brother just went to the kitchen

S: he wants to make you some—

G&W: Let’s go to cook.

189

Papyrus was waiting in the bedroom.

P: WOWIE! YOU SUCCEEDED IN CONVINCING THEM TO HAVE A REST!

P: HOW DID YOU DO THAT?

S: because i’m the brother of great papyrus

P: NYEH(≧∇≦)————!

The taller skeleton hugged his brother and kissed him.

190

Plan 401 failed.

W: One experiment failed 401 times

W: Do you know what this means

G: What

W: It means we are going to start the 402th time!

W: Yeah...!

He cheered weakly.

191

Plan 489 failed.

They made two cups of instant noodles.

W: (*eating) I always think instant noodles are better than compressed biscuits.

G: (*eating) I’m more used to chocolate.

Papyrus walked up to them.

W :?

P: (⁎⁍̴̛ᴗ⁍̴̛⁎)HUG

Gaster opened his arms and allowed the little skeleton to embrace him. From the stiffness of the action, the scientist still needed more practice.

P: WHAT ARE YOU EATING?

W: Instant noodles, a kind of convenience food.

P: MAY I—

G: No. You need a balanced diet.

The boy was a little bit lost, Gaster petted his head, and he was immediately happy again. He kissed his creator on the cheek before leaving to sleep.

W: Wow

W: (*applauding)

192

The coffee was ready, Wing walked over and filled two mugs.

“When is the last time we slept?”He went to the workbench and handed one of the mugs to his companion.

Gaster glanced at the clock.

“6 days ago, I think.”

Plan 502 failed.

193

Wing looked through the results of recent experiments.

W: We are very close...

W: Already able to eliminate all magic

W: Just stuck at the final physical removal step

W: Why did each bone break after removing the plate?

W: There must be something missing.

194

G: ...

G: I got an accident before

G: I wanted to use energy to...fix Sans’ right eye

G: ...

G: But the power suddenly went wrong and the explosion broke half of his skull.

His hands started shaking slightly, and Wing held them.

W: I am listening.

G: I put him in the tube for emergency treatment. At that time, his HP was full and all results of the physical examination were completely normal.

G: But he just refused to wake up, and the cracks in the skull cannot be healed.

G: Later I took Papyrus to heal him. It was amazing. He soon woke up and everything went well.

G: I think maybe it was not just because of magic...

195

G: Monsters are made of magic, and magic comes from our soul

G: And the soul can...generate determination?

G: Like you said, if the strength of the plates came from my determination

G: ...

He looked up at Wing’s eyes.

G: What were you thinking when you rushed into the burning core?

196

W: ...

W: Sure enough, the doer is the best one to undo what he has done.

197

W: Besides myself, I have seen many monsters using determination in various parallel worlds.

W: If there is anything in common, it is probably the condition for launching this kind of power

W: It needs a...strong reason? Like what you are fighting for.

W: But not for harm, it’s a kind of, ugh not very well described...let’s get it simple—

W: It’s to protect who you love.

198

W: You love them, you want to protect them, for which you are willing to give everything as the price.

W: Even getting burned or melted......even if everyone will forget you.

W: I guess when you decided to start THAT project, you must had something that you treasured very much. That desire exceeded your fear and every other emotions.

G: ...

W: No need to be afraid.

W: You can do it, for these people, for your children

W: For yourself.

199

Plan 513.

You can do it, WingDingsGaster.

Think about your reasons for insisting.

The reason I insisted, Gaster thought, the reason I insisted.

The rEasoN i gOt evErYThing wrOnG He thought of the war in the past, in the fire and screaming he couldn’t find his families anymore.

He remembered the desperate look on the king after losing his wife and children. There were also two children shaking together, and Wing’s burning purple eyes when he found everything.

He saw Asgore standing in front of him, holding a jar containing a human soul in his hand.

He saw his hands covered with blood and ashes.

Gaster stepped back in fear, the bone model on the operating platform shattered into dust again.

Wing gave him a hand, and he held his arm to adjust the breathing.

“It’s okay,”Wing said,“Try again, there’s no need to make yourself suffer that much.”

“It maybe hard, but love and protection should be happy things in nature.” The scientist in black made the equipment ready again.

“Try thinking about what made your strong determination.” Gaster closed his eyes.

What is that?

Perhaps it is the basic magic that his parents taught him, the first book he had got, the beautiful rain which he held an umbrella to wait for.

It is Asgore and Toriel holding his hands on the war field, and the dinner they invited him to. And the successfully running core, the anime that Alphys shared with him. Perhaps it is Wing telling him to smile more. It is Papyrus’ hug, is the smiling faces that the baby skeletons had shown when they saw him.

Gaster seemed to hear the sound of tears falling. He opened his eyes and saw mild green light, some power he had lost was calling for reviving, although it was still very little, it kept growing.

There was a warm feeling in his chest, like the resonance of the soul.

200

Strange today, Papyrus thought, the lab was too quiet.

The little skeletons walked to the door of the laboratory, where they found the reason why no one had made a sound.

Gaster lay on the bench, and Wing turned into a black blanket covering him. The two scientists was in the deep sleep, like they just ended a long war.

Two groups of intact artificial hand bones were placed on the operating table.

Test record:

Plan 513 succeeded.

To rule out chance factor and make sure, additional experiments (20/20):

All succeeded.

#handplates #wing!gaster #gaster #wingdingses #dearest wingdings

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mythicallore · 5 years

Text

Cryptids Proven to be Real Give Us Hope for These 5 Others

Cryptid Monsters Proven Real

Cryptid monsters are known to terrorize and typically reported by a significant portion of a population, or at least a large enough group to confirm that it is indeed an anomalous creature. In earlier years, these animals were brutes fought by hunters and fishermen on outings, and were exaggerated to prove their machismo upon returning home. But eventually these tales became backed by hard evidence, and today we know them well.

The Giant Squid

19th century Scandinavian whalers spoke of the Kraken; an enormous squid whose appendages were found in the bellies of whales and said to be as thick as a ship mast. Fishermen continued to report attacks by these tentacled monstrosities, to the disbelief of landlubbers back home. But eventually they returned with specimens, or found their carcasses washed ashore.

In 1853, a large squid with a horny beak and large throat washed aground in Denmark, baffling local scientists. Johan Japetus Steenstrup, a professor of zoology from the University of Copenhagen, identified the creature as a giant squid.

Today, the giant squid is a scientifically accepted animal, reaching lengths up to 40 feet long. Their enormity is attributed to something called deep-sea gigantism; a tendency for deep sea invertebrates to be larger than their shallow-water relatives. But the giant squid isn’t even the biggest mollusk of its kind, that title is reserved for the colossal squid, which reaches up to 46 feet in length.

The Platypus

The platypus is a rather bizarre looking creature and if you attempted to explain it to someone before its discovery, they’d almost certainly believe you were mad. So, it’s an egg-laying mammal with the bill of a duck, the tail of a beaver, the webbed-feet of an otter, and the venom of a snake? Sure.

But now the platypus is a well-known creature, lending credence to the possibility of other cryptids that seem to be an amalgam of disparate species. When it was first presented to British zoologist George Shaw, he attempted to rip off its beak, believing it had been glued on. Eventually, he took scissors to the deceased animal, before he realized it was genuine. That particular specimen can be found to this day in a British museum.

The Frilled Shark

Sea serpents have stoked the fears of sea-farers for centuries, tormenting sailors and swallowing ships whole. From Texas to Norway, reports of sea serpents sprang up in local and national publications during the 19th century, depicted as gargantuan snakes devouring unwitting mariners while they innocently roamed the sea.

Today, the frilled shark could be considered the closest animal to these horrific serpent tales, appearing much like those descriptions written in antiquity, though comparatively smaller. The frilled shark was discovered in the late 1800s by German ichthyologist Ludwig H.P. Döderlein, and later described by Samuel Garman as, “such an animal as that described is very likely to unsettle disbelief in what is popularly called the ‘sea serpent.’”

So, it’s a shark, but a frightening one at that, with 25 clusters of 300 sharp, serrated teeth, the Chlamydoselachus africana is one of those relics from the days when dinosaurs ruled the Earth. It’s also one of those deep-sea dwellers, which is part of the reason they are so rarely seen.

Cryptid Creatures With Real Potential

The Jersey Devil

The Jersey Devil, a.k.a. the Leeds Devil, is one of the more popular cryptids of modernity, appearing to thousands of residents, since its first official recording throughout several New Jersey towns in 1909. Scores of people in Trenton, Woodbury and Swedesboro reported a giant winged creature flying through the night, emanating a horrible scream. But as it turns out, Native American tribes in the area had been seeing the Jersey Devil centuries before.

One of the old wives’ tales of the devil comes from a woman named Mother Leeds, who became pregnant with an unwanted 13thchild, whom she cursed. The child was born normally, but then became a horrendous monster. To this day, it resides in the Pine Barren forests, over a million acres of land preserved on the state’s coast.

Described as a cross between a bat and a horse with a long spaded tail, the Jersey Devil has terrified residents of the state, who claim to have found maimed animals and other birds after hearing its cry. Some have written it off as a large bird of prey or a certain type of crane, but others say it is a surviving Pteranodon, a pterodactyl from the Cretaceous period.

Enter the hammerhead bat, a.k.a. the Big-Lipped Bat. The hammerhead bat falls into the megabat category which are exactly what you think they are – massive bats. Hammerhead bats can be found in mangroves, swamps, and forests at lower elevations, usually in Africa. Could the Jersey Devil be an invasive, or transported, Hammerhead bat population that established a home for itself in the Garden State? Ok, so it’s not a new species, but it would validate thousands of local residents’ sightings.

The Orang Pendek

Sumatra’s apeman cryptid, the Orang Pendek is thought to possibly be distant human relative known as Homo floresiensis, sometimes referred to as the real-life hobbit.

In the Indonesian language, Orang Pendek translates to “short person,” and it is believed to be an undiscovered primate species, that could potentially be of the genus Homo. Over the years there have been a number of Orang Pendek sightings by travelers, locals, and researchers who have come in search of the cryptid or stumbled upon it by chance.

The most common characteristics confirmed by these numerous sightings depict the Orang Pendek standing between 30 and 60 inches in height, or about 2½ to 5 feet tall. These cryptids are described as being covered in golden, brown, or grey hair and are bipedal, walking erect in the same manner as humans. But what’s even more bizarre is that they are said to have human-like facial features, differing noticeably in appearance from monkeys.

The Megalodon

Not just because they’ve recently made a Hollywood sci-fi horror about it, but the chance that a Meg could exist might be better than other cryptids who call the ocean their home. First off, the Megalodon actually existed as recently as 2.6 million years ago during the Early Micoene period, to the end of the Pliocene. It was essentially like a Great White Shark, but two to three times larger. It wouldn’t be too hard to imagine a surviving species of shark with deep-sea gigantism twice the size of a Great White. In fact there are other sharks that live at significant depths, including the Goblin Shark and the aforementioned Frilled Shark.

Bigfoot

Almost every culture has its version of Bigfoot; in North America it’s Sasquatch, the Chinese have the Yeren, in Nepal it’s the Yeti, in Australia it’s the Yowie, and in just about every other region of the world you can find a regional ape-like cryptid.

So where is the hard photo and video evidence? There isn’t really a good answer to that question, as Bigfoot is probably the most elusive cryptid there is. But why would so many disparate cultures describe the same type of creature over the course of centuries?

One could say that we have a predilection to create archetypes of mythical creatures that resemble versions of ourselves. There are also a number of other primate species that inhabit the world’s jungles, including one discovered just last year. Is it so hard to believe that a more sentient humanoid branched off from the many other ancestors Homo sapiens diverged from, like an evolved, surviving ancestor of Gigantopithecus?

Bigfoot is by far the most popular cryptid while also the most divisive, so we’ll leave it to you to decide. Are you a believer?

#cryptids #bigfoot #jersey devil #orang pendek #megladon #paranormal #supernatural

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babysackville · 4 years

Text

Monday 1st November 1824

8 40/6

2 ½

Breakfast at 10 – read over and sent off my letter to my aunt (Shibden) about 11 always send Cordingley to the Great P.O [Post Office] in the Rue JJ Rousseau – nothing particular in my letter 3 pages and the ends – wrote the last 23 lines of the last page and the whole of today which took me till 12 35/60 – Mrs Barlow came and staid a few minutes with me at 11 50/60 - Dawdled over 1 thing or other till 1 ¼ then went down and sat with Mrs and Miss Barlow till 2 50/60 then got ready and went with them at 3 ¼ in a fiacre [carriage] to Mont Parnasse where we left Miss Barlow at her pension returned and got home at 4 ¼ Mrs Barlow came and sat with me till 5 –

I was very proper before her daughter in returning and afterwards trying to talk off much that I have told her as if to remove the impression of my having had so much experience. Asked Mrs Barlow how much she believed of all this nonsense, said she had called me a deep one, and she was so also. She knew more than any lady I had ever met with, dwelt particularly on her so well understanding the first verse of the first chapter to the Romans, that it might not mean sapphic, but might be taken in another sense, that is that men used women as they used men. She said her saying this was from the idea of the moment I declared it was a very ingenius idea, I know no other lady who would have had such a one. She said she had been very wrong to say these things, it was not her custom, she did not like it, should not have done it to anyone else but I had made her not herself. Surely she likes me, perhaps she would be glad enough to attach me seriously. Speaking of sapphic, I had before said I was not the person she thought me, I thought a sapphic attachment must be stupid work – She was rather low, her servant was unwell and she was displeased at her about what she had said about Cordingleys sitting in her room with Mrs Page, in fact Cordingley will sit there no more –

Went down to dinner at 5 ½ all the evening downstairs - in a little argument with Miss Harvey, she maintained it was a vulgarism to pronounce ‘column’, ‘collum’ it ought to be pronounced ‘collume’ – ‘figure’ ought to be pronounced as if ‘feegiure’ and ‘pronunciation’ as if ‘pronunshiashion’ she has been instructed by Mrs Siddons and especially by Mrs Twiss who was her aunt by marring, for Mr Twiss was the brother of Miss Harvey’s mother, besides Miss Harvey said her father was a very clever man and thus instructed her to pronounce these words – I made use of the word ‘lexicographer’ which she said ought to be ‘lexicographer’, to which I made no objection – I saw Miss Harvey would not like to be outargued and therefore fancying my remarks beginning to seem too strong, I cared not for a victory which must probably be bought at the expense of her good will (she told me I could not convince her) and retired from the contest amid a running fire of [competition] to the talents and information of my opponent then laughed and joked with her and Mrs Heath and Miss Middleton –

Sat next to Mrs Barlow on the sofa the rest of the evening – made play for the party by talking bad French and came up to bed at 9 50/60 – Mr Billevue dinned and spent the evening with us – he certainly seems to be making up to Mlle de Sans – tho little she is [talking] thus he is – Mrs Barlow came to me at 10 and staid till 11 ¼ in the meanwhile Cordingley curled my hair. Talked to Mrs Barlow quietly, she said why I wished to unsay what I had said before, I disavowed this merely saying I had said much that must make a wrong impression on her. I was not so bad as I had seemed I had sometimes spoken too much en libertine, such sentiments did not really belong to me. She seemed rather low she spoke to me of the impression made by my first appearance, she thought I wished to affect the manner of a gentleman but soon changed her mind. Liked me during the first visit she paid, I had looked, she would not tell me what, I suppose rather in the style of unutterable things, she certainly likes me. I was quiet and gentle and more distant than usual, did not attempt to kiss her, took the side of her cheek she offered and let her go away at once. She owns she is romantic, I wonder what will be the effect of this change in my manners. Asked Cordingley this morning if Mrs Page said whether mistress was good tempered, Cordingley said that from something she has told her she should think not very good but Mrs Page was not so loose tongued as some –

Wrote all but the 1st three lines of today – which took me till 12 30/60 – Fahrenheit 66 at 1 55/60 ½ hour eating grapes – about an hour translating a little Italian into French – E.. O –

Left Margin: ✓ ✓

(Diary reference: SH7MLE80068)

#1824 #november #place vendome #paris #anne lister #maria barlow #miss harvey #cordingley #mlle de sans #anne lister code breaker #gentleman jack

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howwelldoyouknowyourmoon · 4 years

Text

Japanese woman recruited and sold by the UC / FFWPU to a Korean farmer

▲ Seoul, South Korea, August 14, 2012: Japanese members of the Unification Church bow as an act of apology for the wartime Korean sex slaves conducted by the Japanese military. Liberation Day in Korea falls on August 15. It is the anniversary celebration of Korea’s liberation from Japanese colonial rule in 1945. This rally was held the day before. _____________________________________________

A 20-year-old woman was recruited by the Unification Church / FFWPU in Japan and was sold to an older Korean farmer in an “apology marriage”. He was NOT a UC member.

_____________________________________________

PLEASE RETURN MY SISTER WHO IS IN SOUTH KOREA

1. Ms. Nameless Posted: 01/10/25 ID:FFmOrZXZ

I want to write about my experience here as my serious warning to all Japanese women. Please note, everything I write about from this point is true!!

My elder sister, who was pretty and bright, got involved with a Korean woman and developed an interest in the country of South Korea.

Then she was taken away to South Korea where she became a virtual slave.

You might say “You are so silly!” But this story is true. The tricks used are surprisingly clever, and thousands of Japanese women have already been taken away to South Korea through this scheme.

Now, I want to reveal their dirty tricks. I want to bring this to the attention of all Japanese women, so they can be careful. And again I want to say that this is based on my actual experience. I would like to sincerely ask you not to interfere with the warning I am going to put on this website.

It all started three years ago.

“I met some Korean people and we became friends.” It all began with these words from my sister. She was in her junior year at university when a female Korean student sat next to her on a bench on campus and started to talk to her. The two of them soon became close friends. I also met that Korean student several times and I had a good impression of her. She was courteous and seemed to be a nice person. I heard that she was a member of a peace organization.

2. Now I really regret that I was not more aware of what was going on at that time. My sister had begun to attend “Culture Classes” given by the peace organization that she had been introduced to by the Korean student. According to my sister, the class was “to learn about peace”. In the class she watched many videos and then listened to lectures.

Although the name of the class was “learning about peace”, the contents were only about “how the Japanese tormented the Koreans”. After watching such videos for hours and hours, they then listened to lecturers from the organization – and the topic was always “How the Japanese people have never compensated for their crimes and always speak irresponsibly”.

One day my sister had a pale face. She explained to me “the Japanese army forced 150 Korean comfort women to stand in a line and they cut off their heads one by one. Then they made a soup from the severed heads – and forced other comfort women to eat this soup ……”

I was shocked by the story, but at the same time it sounded “exaggerated” to me – so I got suspicious.

While continuing to attend the culture classes, my sister’s attitude gradually changed. She began to repeatedly say, with desperate expressions on her face, “I’m so ashamed that I was born Japanese,” or “the Japanese people must make amends to the Korean people right now,” or “the current Japanese prosperity is founded on the sacrifices the Korean people [were forced to make during the Japanese occupation of their country].” She completely forgot about her university studies and started to study the Korean language.

▲ A poster promoting Japanese women available for marriage.

Translation of the poster (Korean on the left and Japanese on the right):

True Marriage to a Japanese Woman

Nonprofit community service organization: Registration No. 1300

♥ Junior college or higher educational background ♥ Healthy body and mind ♥ For a young man who has stable employment (around 30 years old)

(Previously married men and women, now single, must be aged 60 or less)

Ideal spouse with a chaste sense of values.

We will match you up.

True Family Practice in conjunction with ◯◯ Committee

Consultation phone Counselor / Consultation Staff

___________________________________________

The poster was affixed in a South Korean farming village. Marriages were then officiated by Sun Myung Moon in a mass marriage. The poster was found shortly before a Unification Church “Korea-Japan” mass wedding which was held in Seoul. The Korean men had to pay $thousands to get a Japanese bride. It was often a family investment, so the women’s passports were taken, and other measures, to prevent them from escaping. A United Nations report highlighted the cultural problems of these marriages. A substantial number of which ended in divorce. One main reason divorces were granted when requested by the women, was the fact of the FFWPU coercion the Japanese women had experienced to offer themselves in “apology to Korea marriages”. LINK

___________________________________________

3. Then my sister said, “I want to go to Korea to apologize to the Korean people in the Korean language”.

I did not think it was necessary for her to go, but on the other hand I thought it was good to make international friends. I didn’t take it seriously enough.

One day, my sister told me that I should also study the Korean language. I asked her why. She answered, “The Korean language will become the global language and is the most excellent language in all of human history”.

On hearing this I became more suspicious. So I secretly sneaked into my sister’s room while she was away. There I found books entitled “The Divine Principle” and “Apostate” and some brochures. I started reading them and was appalled at the contents. One item said, “Japan is a country ruled by the devil. It tormented South Korea which should be the country to lead the world,” another said, “Japan is the country representing Eve, and Korea is the Adam country. Therefore it is Japan’s obligation to work to serve Korea [to reverse Eve’s mistake in the Garden of Eden].” “After the unification of North and South Korea, the country will become the center of Asia and will then rule the world”. The literature was full of such crazy things!

I asked my university tutor about the information which had given me such an uneasy feeling. He told me, “Well, that is the Unification Church.” Then I researched into the Unification Church and discussed it with my parents. We all tried to convince my sister to withdraw from this Church. But it was too late. She took a hard line and decided to quit university and insisted on going to South Korea straight away.

We were desperate. We tried to stop her, but she swore at us angrily saying, “You people are all devils who want to insult the Messiah and South Korea which will lead the world!” We were horrified at the change in her. I cried, together with my parents.

4. Suddenly, my sister decided to participate in a mass wedding ceremony in Seoul and so finally she left our home.

I protested to the Korean student who had invited my sister to their meetings. This student completely changed from her previously polite demeanor. I asked her “You are a member of the Unification Church, aren’t you?” But she acted as if she didn’t know. “Eh? What is that?” she replied.

I said, “The founder of Unification Church is Sun Myung Moon; he’s really weird, isn’t he?”

My comment made her so upset.

“What did you say?!” She yelled like mad, spitting out her words, her face red with anger.

Although she had hidden this fact, she was indeed a member of the Unification Church!

My family was so sad, we all cried for a while after my sister left home. We all worried about her circumstances.

Soon my sister contacted us to say that she had got married to a Korean man and was living in countryside. For a time we felt relieved. Then she began to send frequent letters. She wrote “Please send money”, and “send electrical goods” and other things. It seemed that her Korean “relatives” in the countryside demanded that she get money and goods from our family for their sake. My parents felt that they had no choice but to continue to send money and goods as requested.

We worried what sort of life my sister had in Korea. I decided to go to there to see her and find out her situation. It was dangerous for me to go alone, so we had to make an effort to find an appropriate person to be my interpreter and bodyguard. We hired Mr. A., who was a Japanese exchange student living in Seoul.

___________________________________________

統一教会の日本人花嫁数千人が韓国農民に宛われた

Thousands of Japanese brides from the Unification Church were allotted to South Korean farmers.

週刊ポスト　No. 20 2010（H22) 年6月4日号 [雑誌]

Shukan Post No.20 2010 (H22) June 4 issue [magazine]

〈衝撃リポート〉〈Shocking Report〉

韓国農民にあてがわれた統一教会・合同結婚式日本人妻の「SEX地獄」見知らぬ土地での生活、貧困、差別に「故郷に帰りたい……」と

▲ “SEX Hell” of the Japanese wives who were allocated to Korean farmers in a Unification Church mass wedding ceremony

living in an unfamiliar land; poverty; discrimination “I want to return home …”

北海道大学教授らの徹底調査で判明した戦慄の真実

The striking reality discovered through an in-depth investigation by professors from Hokkaido University

▲ The matching – Mr. Sun Myung Moon decides couples. [Hak Ja Han is standing beside him.]

___________________________________________

5. Mr. A took me to the address which was written in my sister’s letters. It was in the Korean countryside.

The place was totally different compared to the general countryside of Japan. It was a pre-modern farm in a village with unpaved roads. We found my sister in one of the poor village houses. My sister seemed glad that I had come to visit her. Her husband was the son and heir of a farming family. He was an ugly and uneducated countryman. He seemed to be over 40 years old although my sister was in her early 20s.

Mr. A and I talked together with the poor family for a while.

I thought it was impolite of me to do so, but I gently challenged their marriage, and asked my sister to return to Japan.

Suddenly the interpreter became pale. He explained that my sister’s husband said, “I paid money!” and he continued with a vulgar smile “It was a good deal, ’cause this Jap girl has got a nice body.”

This made me so angry. I really wanted to kill him – but in this situation, I had to silently endure his comments for the sake of my sister’s safety. My sister also said, “the Japanese people must make amends to the Korean people.” She said she was working from morning to night. Listening to the family’s conversation, Mr. A whispered in my ear, “it seems she is almost a slave”.

6. There was nothing I could do for her, so I returned to Japan. On the way to the Seoul airport, Mr. A explained many things to me. For example, he said there was a strange group of Japanese women in Seoul – all Unification Church members – who worked all day from early in the morning. Those women often joined demonstrations and performances against Japan, or were perhaps forced to join in such activities.

In addition, when I spoke about the Korean comfort women, he said he had heard from an old Korean man, who had himself experienced the Japanese colonial era. The man had said, “the coercion story [of forced recruitment] is complete fiction”.

According to the old man, the truth was that poor families in rural areas sold their daughters to Korean prostitution brokers. It was a common solution in the Asian region, including in Japan, for such poor people to get out of deep poverty. “It is fiction that the Japanese Army arranged trucks to kidnap girls. Nobody ever saw such a spectacle and I never heard such rumors at that time”, the old man told Mr. A.

I then said to him “so the comfort women stories must have been created by somebody for a certain purpose.” He caught my drift that the Unification Church was using the comfort women stories. “I know a person who is close to a lawyer, Mr. Takagi, who is responsible for litigation in wartime comfort women cases. I will contact him to see if he knows something about this.”

7. I returned home with a feeling of deep frustration. I could not speak honestly to my parents about my sister’s situation. I had the impression that my sister had been sold to Korea as collateral, as a servant.

A while later, my sister suddenly informed us that one of her “relatives” was going to visit Japan and she wanted us to take care of him. My parents and I really disliked the idea, but felt we could not refuse.

A crude beggar-like young man arrived.

The Korean man had a featureless face with narrow eyes, just like pen lines. At first he seemed emotionless, but soon violent mood swings emerged. He would yell and his face then became the color of a boiled octopus. Especially during meal times he would sit at the table in a very rude manner. He ate his food making horrible noises. Not only that, but he complained saying “Why you don’t serve kimchi, huh?!”, “So bland taste!!” and so on.

Needless to say I really hated this Korean guy.

One day, he yelled at my mother. “The sauce for dipping the tempura is too bland! You’re stingy! Are you trying to belittle your precious guest?!”

I was reaching to the limit of my patience. I seriously thought about putting something like pesticide into his drink.

I felt he was always looking at me in a strange way.

One night, the man sneaked into my room and tried to rape me, covering my mouth with his hand. I screamed and scratched his face. He beat me with all his strength.

This made my father furious and he drove the man out of our house. Finally I could be reassured.

8. One day Mr. A., the student who was in Seoul, sent me some surprising information. The following is a summary of what he sent.

What I should explain first is that it was an organization called the “Hundred Members Committee” who raised the “Comfort Women Issue” for the first time. The goal of this organization was to “obtain official apologies and compensation [from the Japanese government] for the Korean people”. Some Korean members of this organization, and Japanese housewives, went to South Korea “to search for victims” suitable for starting a lawsuit. Kim Hak-soon, who was the “courageous first woman to come forward as a victim of the sex-slave system”, was just a Korean prostitute who made a lot of money from her prostitution business with Japanese soldiers. But the “Hundred Members Committee” searched for such kinds of prostitutes and had them appeal to the Japanese government. Then they started international propaganda about the issue.

Now, what sort of organization is the “Hundred Members Committee”? In fact, this committee was created by the “Asian Women’s Federation for Peace” and that is a secondary organization of the Unification Church! Besides, Kenichi Takagi, the lawyer who supported the prostitute lawsuit, and the Japanese housewives who went to Korea to search for “victims” are also all members of the Unification Church. (Of course they all denied being church members. This is the modus operandi of the Unification Church. Members are instructed to say “We are different” when they are asked “Are you members of the Unification Church?”) Their actions are based on their belief in the teachings of the Unification Church that “Japan is a country of the devil and must therefore act to make restitution for their crimes which plagued Korea, the country of the Messiah”.

9. After the rapprochement between Sun Myung Moon and Kim Il-Sung in 1992, the General Association of Korean Residents in Japan came to be involved in activities concerning the comfort women issue, and many North Korean “fake comfort women” appeared one after another. They circulated stories to the international community, such as “the Japanese soldiers cut off the comfort women’s heads with swords, and made soup with the heads which they then made us drink”.

Then what is the reason why the Unification Church fabricated the “sex slave issue”? The reasons are complex.

First, they wanted to diminish the credibility of Japan and the Japanese people, so that they can make the Japanese government pay compensation to Korea, and give advantage and political status to Zainichi Koreans in Japan.

_____________

Note: Zainichi Koreans, also often known as Zainichi for short, (or Chōsen-jin) comprise ethnic Koreans who have permanent residency status in Japan, or who have become Japanese citizens, and whose immigration to Japan originated before 1945, from Chōsen (the old, undivided Korea), or who are descendents of those immigrants. They are a distinct group compared to South Korean nationals who have travelled to Japan for the sole purpose of employment or study. More details on Wikipedia: Zainichi

_____________

Secondly, they wanted to brainwash more Japanese women to set them up for “human trafficking” [as their duty or responsibility]. In the Japanese women’s minds they planted the consciousness that the guilt [or shame of Japan] should be expiated, or atoned for. These Japanese women believed that being in the same situation as Korean comfort women could be a way to personally go through suffering to compensate [for the suffering endured by Korean comfort women during the Japanese colonial period].

According to Mr. A, thousands of Japanese women had already been tricked this way, like my sister. Especially in countryside of Korea there is a high demand for these women. The Unification Church groomed the women for human trafficking to be collateral!

When I heard this story I was stunned.

I also heard from another person who was with Mr. A, that 辛淑玉, Shin Sug-ok, had a relationship with the Unification Church and she delivered lectures to Unification Church-affiliated organizations.

[ 辛淑玉、シンスゴ、신숙옥、女性、1959年1月16日- . とは、東京都生まれの実業家。のりこえねっと（ヘイトスピーチとレイシズムを乗り越える国際ネットワーク）共同代表、シューレ大学アドバイザー。東京都立第一商業高等学校卒業。在日韓国人3世。LINK ]

[ 辛淑玉, Shin Sug-ok, worked for the International Network to Overcome Hate Speech and Racism. She is a third generation Zainichi Korean. ]

I came to think I could not trust Zainichi Koreans.

Apparently the Unification Church believers, the General Association of Korean Residents, and human rights campaigners in Japan were all in one crony gang.

The reality is that they are despicable people who continue activities to prepare and induce Japanese women to become the slaves of Koreans – all behind a mask of justice!

10. Currently, a lot of Japanese women are being fooled by this Korean propaganda and support their activities. This it is totally wrong because it just helps the crimes of the Unification Church. I will say it again and again, so many Japanese women are sold to Korea as a “commodity” for human trafficking by the Unification Church, just like my sister. If you doubt my story, please take action and research what miserable lives those Japanese women have in Korea. You will find out those women are virtually enslaved. I don’t understand why the Japanese mass media do not report these harrowing tales. Why do the the so-called quality papers like Asashi shimbun, Mainichi shimbun or Yomiuri shimbun not explain to the public that right now such women are being trafficked ? Why!?

I simply want to ask why Japanese TV stations do not report the fact that Japanese women are victims like this? Why is this so?

Right at this moment, many Japanese women are brainwashed by this bad Korean religion and sold to Korea to be enslaved for their whole lives.

I want my sister back!

11. Now, I will finish my story about the miserable experience of my family.

I think our experience is hard to believe for most Japanese women, but it is true.

I think all Japanese women need to know the existence of this terrifying trap that leads Japanese women to such miserable situations. That is why I put this series of messages on the internet.

However, I do think most of the Zainichi Koreans in Japan, and the South Korean people, are good people. So please do not have prejudice based on ethnicity against all Korean society. But it is a fact that there are some crazy people who have done horrible, malicious and wicked things to the Japanese people, and they continue to do so. And they have no scruples about what they are doing. It is also a fact that such things have been neglected or ignored.

[Because there have been many instances of the abuse of foreign wives, the South Korean government introduced the screening of men wishing to marry them. There has been a gender imbalance in South Korea due to some couples having a preference for sons – they are more valued in the Korean neo-confucian mindset. In 2017 there were about a million fewer women than men in the 15-50 age group. This is one of the reasons for an increased demand for foreign wives, and it can present good business opportunities.]

Maybe there are some people who do not want to believe my story.

I don’t want to be hurt by heartless responses like “show the evidence!” or “don’t make up such a story!” So I will never come back here again.

Each person is free to believe or not. I cannot blame people who do not believe my experience. It has not been broadcast or well publicized by the mass media.

But anyway, let me insist again, the whole of my story is true! It is factual!!

___________________________________________

Notes

Sun Myung Moon was the founder of the Unification Church [now known as the Family Federation for World Peace], which is a South Korean based religious organization. [He claimed to be an] activist in the Korean independence movement during Japan’s annexation of the Korean Peninsula. After the independence of Korea, he established the International Federation for Victory Over Communism against North Korea. [Moon died in September 2012.]

Kim Il Sung was the former leader of the socialist nation, the Democratic Republic of Korea (North Korea). He was well known for his Red Terror with continuous blood purges to maintain his political power. Kim died in 1994.

There were Korean Comfort Women used by the Japanese military. There are testimonies and photographs, and there is a lot of evidence. However, it seems to be true that most of the recruitment of the women was done by Koreans, and there were even notices in Korean newspapers for Comfort Women (see example below).

It seems there are also fake Comfort Women seeking compensation. [There is clear documentation that Korean Comfort Women changed their testimonies over the years – and there is evidence that some were coerced to do that under threat of losing their accommodation.]

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『毎日新報』1944年10月27日付  『軍』慰安婦急募  一、行先　〇〇部隊慰安所  一、應募資格年齢十八歳以上三十歳以内身體[体]強健한者  一、募集期日　十月二十七日부러十一月八日外지  一、出發[発]日十一月十日頃  一、契約及待遇本人面談한後即時決定함 一、募集人員数十名  一、希望者左記場所에至急問議할事京城府鍾路區楽園町一九五  朝鮮旅館内  光③二六四五  （許氏）

Maeil Shinbo (Korean language newspaper, probably Seoul) Newspaper ad dated October 27, 1944 “Military” Comfort Women Urgent Recruitment Destination: Troop Comfort Station (location not decided) Employment Requirements: Age between 18 and 30; good physical health (robust body) Recruitment period: From October 27 to November 8. Departure date: Approximately November 10. Contract and Remuneration: Decided immediately after interview with individual Recruiting number: several dozen Aspirants should make urgent contact at the following location: Kyeongseong-bu, Jongro-gu, Akwon-jeong 195 [Seoul Prefecture] Inside the Joseon Inn Gwang (3) 2645 (Phone number) [Ask for] Mr. Heo 허 (name of the Korean person in charge)

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『京城日報』 “Keijo Nippo” 경성일보 Kyongsong Ilbo (Daily) newspaper. The paper was published during Japanese colonial rule. At this time (1910–1945), Seoul was called Keijo (京城); (Korean: 경성; Gyeongseong or Kyongsong, literally meaning “Capital City” in Hanja.)

京城日報』（1944年7月26日付）

慰安婦至急大募集 Comfort Women Urgently Wanted – Large Recruitment 年齢一七歳以上二三歳迄 Age: From 17 to 23. 勤先　後方〇〇隊慰安部 Place of work: Troop comfort station behind the front-line 月収　三〇〇圓[円]以上（前借三〇〇〇圓[円]迄可） Monthly income: more than 300 yen (advance borrowing of up to 3,000 yen allowed) 午前八時より午後十時迄本人来談 Individual client consultations from 8:00am to 10:00pm 京城府中* 新町四ノ二〇 Apply to: 4-20 Shinmachi, Keijo City [Seoul] 今井紹介所 Imai Agency (a private company) 電話東⑤一六一三 Telephone East: ⑤1613

These salary rates are huge. Women factory workers earned about 20-50 yen at this time.

Excerpts from Korean comfort woman Mun Ok-chu’s memoir

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The Comfort Women controversy

“About 100 Korean women were abducted by Korean prostitution brokers but were rescued by Japanese military police.”

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Cult Indoctrination through Psychological Manipulation

In one of his studies, Nishida (1994) found that recruiters offer the targets a new belief system, based on five schemas. These schemas comprise:

1. notions of self concerning one’s life purpose (Self Beliefs);

2. ideals governing the type of individual, society, and world there ought to be (Ideal Beliefs);

3. goals related to correct action on the part of individuals (Goal Beliefs);

4. notions of causality, or which laws of nature operate in the world’s history (Causality Beliefs); and

5. trust that authority will decree the criteria for right and wrong, good and evil (Authority Beliefs) represented by: ▲.

Read a series of articles HERE

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Una mujer japonesa fue reclutada por la FFPUM y luego vendida a un granjero coreano

Mujer de 20 años reclutada en Japón por la Federación de la Familia para la Paz Mundial y la Unificación / la Iglesia de la Unificación y luego fue vendida a un granjero coreano en un “matrimonio de disculpa”.

“Please search for the 6,500 women missing from the mass wedding ceremony,” victim’s families appealed.

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Dae Mo Nim (Hyo-nam Kim) poured guilt on the Japanese

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Japan gave $800 million as reparations for Korean occupation

Asia Times Online December 2005

In 1965 Japan gave $800 million as reparations for the occupation of Korea, in a combination of grants and low-interest loans. This was part of the Korea-Japan Normalization Treaty of 1965. In January 2005 details were disclosed to the Korean public for the first time.

James Card: “Declassified dossiers revealed that Seoul demanded US$364 million compensation for individuals who died, were injured or used as laborers during Japan’s 35-year occupation on the Korean peninsula. Instead, the South Korean government received $800 million, in a combination of grants and low-interest loans, as reparations from Japan.

South Korean dictator Park Chung-hee agreed that after this payment, South Korean citizens would give up their right to make individual claims against the Japanese government. What the declassified documents revealed was that Park only paid out about 2.56 billion won ($251 million) to families killed by the Japanese and 6.6 billion won to owners of destroyed property. None of the thousands of South Koreans conscripted into the Japanese military and labor workforce received compensation.

The remaining money was earmarked for nation-building construction projects. Park’s often-criticized vision of linking Seoul and Busan in the south by expressway became a reality. He poured money into developing infrastructure and heavy industry, especially his favored state-owned business, Pohang Iron & Steel, which later became Posco, one of the world’s top steelmakers.

The Japanese reparation money, along with American foreign aid, was the gratuitous seed money that bootstrapped the South Korean economy into the industrial nation of today. Arguments in the winter of 2005 revolved around the wartime victims being sacrificed for the greater good of the nation and Park’s Japanese philosophy of ‘poor people, strong state’.”

James Card is a freelance writer in South Korea.

https://www.asiatimes.com/atimes/Korea/GL23Dg02.html

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South Korean forces killed more than Japanese killed in 36 years

In about 36 months in 1948-1951 South Korean forces killed more South Koreans than the Japanese killed in the 36 years of their occupation of Korea.

There were some 1,222 probable incidents of mass execution without trial by the South Koreans in 1948-1951.

South Korea Admits Civilian Killings During War New York Times (November 26, 2009) By Choe Sang-hun

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6,500 Japanese women missing from Moon mass weddings

Questions about the 1992 Mass Wedding in Seoul

UC/FFWPU “Recruiting unmarried men and women” just one week before 1995 mass marriage

韓国よ、私の姉を返せ！！Please return my sister from Korea.

Moon: “Women have twice the sin”

Why did a Japanese UC member kill her Korean husband?

Japanese member, Ms. U, married to a Korean man who beat her

Japanese member, Ms. K, was forced to marry Korean man she did not like

Yuka Nakamura, a Unification Church member in Korea, recently took her own life

The ‘True Father’ who could not forgive: “I haven’t been able to release my grudge towards Japanese people yet.” November 2011

Moon personally extracted $500 MILLION from Japanese sisters in the fall of 1993. He demanded that 50,000 sisters attend HIS workshops on Cheju Island and each had to pay a fee of $10,000.

FFWPU / UC of Japan used members for profit, not religious purposes

“Apology marriages” made by Japanese UC members to Korean men

The Atsuko Kumon Hong “suicide / murder” of August 2013

Annexation of Korea – some facts and a song

Top Japanese ex-UC leader, Yoshikazu Soejima, interviewed

The original Japanese text is here: http://mimizun.com/log/2ch/ms/1003978299/

#Sun Myung Moon #exploitation of Japanese #FFWPU of Japan #Hak Ja Han #manipulation #Divine Principle #Unification Church

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