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ohnomytummy · 5 months

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Hi, I have a story from this Thanksgiving that I thought this community would like, and I don't have a kink blog to post it to so I'm gonna share it here cause I know your box is always open. Lol

I'm relatively thin, severely underweight for a good chunk of my childhood, have always been poor so I've never gotten to indulge too much in feasting, not in this economy. But long backstory short, I had the house to myself for pretty much 4 days straight for Thanksgiving break, along with all the leftover food from the entire family thanksgiving.. I was asked to toss most of it because we didn't have room in the fridge and it would go bad, but I didn't want any of it to go to waste.. you can probably tell where his is going..

I have a pretty sensitive stomach since I get full pretty quick, and I'm also lactose intolerant and most meat makes me gassy (and sweaty for some reason?), but for some reason none of that mattered to me, I put a YouTube series I've been itching to watch on my phone and munched on everything that was in front of me which included:

-almost half of a turkey that had been sitting out on the table for a day

-a platter of cheese and cube/slice things and pepperoni/some other meat I forgot

-I wanna say maybe 20 small sugar cookies (the puffy Walmart ones with frosting)

-about 2 litres total of a miz of lemonade, sprite, ginger ale, and coca cola

- 5 bread rolls with melted cheese and butter

-uncounted handfuls old candy I still had from Halloween....

I didn't even realize I'd been eating so much, but I guess since it was all over the course of about a day (9 hours-ish?) It was gradual enough that I didn't realize I'd gone overboard until the end. I remember reaching for the next thing getting ready and thinking "wow i wonder how much ive eaten" and seeing that the answer was all of it. I was wearing an elastic tank top, and I looked down and holy shit I looked pregnant. The tank top is kind of long but there was maybe an inch of belly sticking out from underneath naturally, and the tank top itself was like vacuum sealed tight to my skin!

This is where stuff gets crazy. I put my hand on my stomach to rub it and I could feel it churning under my hand, from the inside ofc and through my belly. I'd been burping throughout the whole stuffing absent-mindedly, but now that it was all setting in, I felt like I was going to puke. I couldn't even feel nauseous at first, it was just PAIN in my middle and I could barely get up. I'm so glad I was alone because I was moaning and rubbing my belly with both hands, holding it as I tried to get up. I could feel myself bringing up burps with every exhale, they were like.. soft and quiet but also really deep and sick, coming out with every breath, like "... urrrrrrp.. hic-hurrrrrp... uurppp. ur-urrp... hic-hUuuurrrrrrrrrp..." and with groans after each one lmao. I made my way to the bathroom eventually and sat by the toilet, sure I was gonna be sick, but I wasn't. I almost wanted to be, but I think I was just too scared to puke. So I sat back against the tub, facing the toilet, my whole body was covered in a cold sweat atp and i was rubbing my belly, and I could feel every single rumble as it ripped through my stomach and rose up as a belch. I couldn't stop burping like I was just about crying on the bathroom floor, bloated as a tick, belching helplessly. After a few minutes the burps started slowing down, but they were much more wet when they did come up. I think the meat and lactose was probably digesting now because I actually started to feel queasy. I started holding in my burps in fear that the food might come up, but then the air started xoming out the back. Starting with small short toots, leading to nauseous farts that, much like the burps, WOULDNT STOP. I was uncontrollably farting, small short bursts every few seconds and idk how to describe it but the farts felt pukey somehow. My stomach was churning like crazy and I could hear it from the outside (still felt intense as I rubbed it too). All the while the original belches never really stopped, so I was just on the floor, gas from both ends pouring out. My stomach was so hard and tight it felt like a bowling ball attached to me and my shirt was so tight it was so hot in hindsight but I felt like I was dying in the moment. Anyways I eventually fell asleep on the floor, woke up feeling sick, burped and farted next to the toilet again and tried doing the doggy-style yoga pose (best that I could, anyways, with my bloated upset tummy still filled with rotting undigested Thanksgiving leftovers) and kept farting until out of nowhere I almost shat myself, I think the position I was in moved the air along but the air took some stuff with it, so now I had to abandon that and sit on the toilet with a trash bin next to me because I couldn't fit it between my legs (my tummy took up the room lol) and it was mostly just me being sick from both ends, along with super uncontrollable rumbly burps and farts that just would not ever fucking stop.

Once it was all out things went back to normal, other than me being really gassy for a few more days.

I will let my uh *cough* community have this 😳🥵

#thanksgiving #ask #wowowowowowoeow #your poor poor belly #but also not….whoopsie

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socially-awkward-skeleton · 7 months

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Some Sentences Sunday/WIP Whenever

Tagged by @theresaruggedroad @jillvalentinesday @inafieldofdaisies and @simplegenius042 for 6 sentences/wip last line/etc. Thank you all!!

Tagging: @madparadoxum @confidentandgood @trench-rot @nightbloodbix @roofgeese @voidika @kyber-infinitygems @clicheantagonist @adelaidedrubman @strafethesesinners @statichvm @neverthesameneveranother @josephslittledeputy @marivenah @theelderhazelnut @josephseedismyfather @v0idbuggy @direwombat @florbelles @ladyofedens-blog @eclecticwildflowers @shallow-gravy @cassietrn @strangefable @stacispratt

Have a snippet from several chapters into the future and meet Kit and Jacob's future adopted kiddos!! (first time writing kids and my fingers and toes are crossed their speech comes across naturally, it shouldn't be this hard to write kids when you have one of your own lol)

Carter dragged the kitchen table chair across the wood floor towards the cupboard. Climbing up onto the wobbly piece of furniture, he crawled up onto the counter, lifting one scuffed knee up onto the cold, flat surface at a time. While kneeling, he pulled open the cupboard door and on the bottom shelf, closest to the front, sat the half empty jar of JIF peanut butter – creamy (his sister’s favorite), he preferred crunchy, but they ran out of that days ago along with the milk. Grabbing it with two small, chubby hands, he put it down on the counter and climbed back down.

He was getting so tired of eating this, and he knew if he was then his sister was all the same. He was older, had a bit more patience. She wasn’t even three yet, still practically a baby. Heaving out a sigh, he looked over at the fridge. He’d never learned how to use the microwave and mom wouldn’t let him near the oven, so any leftovers they had in the fridge had been eaten cold if they were able to be eaten at all. They had gotten down to the last bits of food left in stock – white bread and peanut butter – and they were drinking only water now.

There was a sink full of dirty dishes, glasses stained with rings of soured milk, plates streaked with dried food and crumbs of bread, and spilling to the brim with used cutlery. He’d never learned how to use the dishwasher and it was getting to the point that he was thinking about adding them to the bath after Quinn was done with the bubbles.

His sister climbed up into the kitchen chair at the table with labored grunts, and watched him grab several pieces of bread from the bag. Her big brown eyes were like magnifying glasses, she might not have said a lot but it’s like she could see everything, soaking it all up like a sponge, his mom used to say.

As he stood at the counter preparing the sandwiches, Carter turned his body to hide as he tore the moldy corners off the bread so that she’d still eat. “You hungry?” he asked, trying to keep his face hidden. His parents always knew when he was up to something, he worried Quinn would too.

She kicked her little legs, oblivious to what he was up to as she held her Cookie Monster stuffy against her chest, swallowing him in a tight hug. “No.”

“Are you just sayin’ that?”

He was only seven but he’d already perfected that look his mom and dad gave him when they thought he was telling a fib. Their eyebrows raised, eyes staring at him like if they looked hard enough they could see the truth.

“No.”

“Quinn?”

“No,” she said emphatically, shoving Cookie down onto the tabletop in her fist, forcing the doll into a squashed sitting position.

“You sure? Ya gotta eat something before bed.”

“Don’t wanna,” she grumbled while taking part in a staring contest with her doll.

“Quinn!” Carter slammed the butter knife against the counter and bits of the brown nutty spread shot out in all directions.

Her lower lip trembled, and she tried to curl up into a ball as her head pressed to her chest, squeezing her eyes shut as she quickly brought Cookie back into her embrace and held him tightly to her.

He didn’t like yelling at her, he didn’t like seeing the tears well up in her eyes. It made him feel horrible, it made him feel guilty. But his stomach ached so badly, it was a different sort of pain from when he wanted a snack after school, it was deeper and it didn’t go away when ignored, and he was sure if he felt it then she had to as well. He was just trying to be a good big brother. He was just trying to look after her as best he could. The way his mom and dad would have expected him to.

“”M sorry.”

Quinn opened one eye and looked at him while sniffling into the blue fur of her stuffed friend. “‘S okay,” she mumbled.

“You gotta eat.”

She sighed heavily and watched as he started to cut the sandwich. “Triangle.”

“I know.” He gave her a small smile and brought the four pieces of sandwich over to her, placing it on the table top in front of her.

She looked down at the meal and then back up at him, her eyes seeming to beg for anything else to eat instead. “Nutty again?”

He shrugged his shoulders, wishing he could offer her anything else. “It’s all we got.”

She pouted and picked the sandwich up, bringing the torn corner to her mouth and biting down only to quickly drop the sandwich back onto the table, her face pulled into a disgusted grimace. “Yucky.”

He wanted to cry, he wanted to scream. He just wanted to fill her stomach. He didn’t know how to make anything else. He was only seven.

He wanted mommy and daddy back.

“Bread’s getting old, that’s all.” He headed over to the counter once more to make his own sandwich and looked over at her. With her head bent forward, her chin length brown hair covered her face and he could tell she was starting to cry again with the way her shoulders started to shake. “Eat, Quinny,” Carter begged.

Holding out her stuffy, her eyes red and her chubby cheeks stained with streaks from tears, she pleaded with him. “Cookie eat?”

“No! We don’t have enough. He’s just a doll, he doesn’t need food.” Carter was quick to snap out the words, he wanted to stay calm, to be reasonable like his parents would have told him to be, but he just couldn’t. Not anymore.

Quinn pouted again, giant sobbing tears spilled from her eyes and down her cheeks, her chest heaving with every new bout of tears that fell out of her – and Carter felt like a monster for it. She was too little, she didn’t understand. He barely did. She was still in training pants. She couldn’t even brush her own teeth. She was a baby, and he was stuck looking after her while trying to keep them alive.

#wip whenever #american beasts #oc: carter ''seed''#oc: quinn ''seed''

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dangeles · 2 years

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Please help a struggling artist.

Hi everyone.

I'll try my best to word this as well as I can; this is a plea for help.

I'm Donna, a 27 yr old freelancing queer+POC female artist.

As my Tumblr activity would suggest, my favourite thing to do is make fandom artwork, it brings me joy like no other. That has come to a standstill as in the past few months I've been unable to make ends meet with unexpected bills, having been kicked out of my previous apartment, and spending a lot of time and money in hunting for a new one in a dire time limit.

I've been holing up temporarily in an acquaintance's home for a very minimal charge, but her kindness can only extend till the end of June as she is moving away and giving her place up for rent for an amount I cannot afford anymore.

I have found a smaller place, but I still do not have enough to make the deposit/the rent that I need to pay by next week or I will lose the place. I'm down to my last trickle of savings that I can rely on for food alone.

In a week's time, I will be homeless and broke; I do not have a vehicle to crash in or any friends in the city I can approach who could accommodate me. I cannot return to my conservative parents in my hometown, I would have to give up my freedom as an artist and return to a closet I spent all my twenties working hard to get out of.

I've been living every day in constant debilitating anxiety and panic. Searching for a safe/affordable apartment and a paying job simultaneously is using up all my energy and will; my mental health has taken a massive hit with subsequent depression.

I'm on my last few dregs of hope and you guys here are it.

Tdlr; I humbly ask you for consideration in the form of donations.

I have linked my payment gateways: | KOFI | Stripe |

It would be extremely helpful to receive any amount at all; even a single dollar from a person counts and may help keep me afloat for a few months while I search for a job that could support me.

If a donation is not possible, signal boosting this post helps too. Please help me reach as many people as possible.

I'm being very optimistic by keeping a goal of $1,500; even though a part of me thinks that's highly unreasonable, I have hope, and it's all I have at this point.

My dear friend @enterthetadpole (an absolute angel who has helped me as much as she can) tells me how the fandom helped her when she was in need of desperate help, so I hope I too can turn to this space that has kept my spirits from waning completely out of me. Fandom content has been a safe haven; reading fics, looking at art, and poring through all the discourses here help me forget some of the fear and anxiety that grips me constantly.

I want to be able to give back to the community with art and sketches soon. I want to be able to open commissions again once my living situation is sorted.

Art is bread and butter, and my happy place.

Kindly help me get there again.

-Donna

...

Tagging any who can help boost -

@camphipp @athene-noctua08 @enterthetadpole @writingloud @sherlockedcarmilla @flecker-illustrates @totallysilvergirl @podfixx @katherynefromphilly @arthur-rex @barbsiebabe @natillynoo-blog

#text #signal boost #financial assistance #donations #crowdfunding #fundraising #emergency #boost please #artists on tumblr #artist support #fandom #mutual aid #dangeles

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tmntkiseki · 4 months

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Oh yeah, today I finally finished the Ninja Tribunal Arc.

So, overall a lot of my thoughts are relatively the same as those cited on my main blog. It wasn't a bad season, but it definitely could have been better and the biggest problem is the magic/mysticism aspect, which is ironic because normally I absolutely love fantasy and magic. I mean video games like Odin Sphere, Ender Lilies, and the Rune Factory series are my bread and butter.

The problem, however, is that while TMNT 2003 wasn't lacking for magic elements in its setting IE the stuff that can't be explained by science, there wasn't as much emphasis on it up until this season. Suddenly, you have the god-like Ninja Tribunal, the turtles are tapping into their chi to execute inhuman moves with magical weapons, apparently New York is the center of a bunch of lay lines of mystic energy, and just a bunch of stuff that was never alluded to or mentioned in earlier seasons that make this season feel very out of place.

But overall I did enjoy it; the turtles turning into dragons was cool, even if it was a little ridiculous, seeing Master Splinter in peak "HAVE YOU SEEN MY SONS?" mode was a delight, and the Ancient One becoming something of a grandpa to the turtles was sweet. I really wish this had been the last season of the show because it ended on a perfect note and Fast Forward + Back to the Sewer just seem unnecessary (especially knowing the tonal shift to make them more kid-friendly.)

Anyway, here's a dumb doodle I did because trying to learn how to draw the 03 turtles is stressing me out like you wouldn't b e l i e v e (I know it's gonna take time to learn and I only started seriously studying the art a few days ago, but... YEAH.)

#teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt 2003 #tmnt 2k3

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i-can-even-burn-salad · 6 months

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Word Find Tag

I was tagged by @winterandwords - thank you!

My words are: shake, share, shame, and shade

I'm gonna tag @starlit-hopes-and-dreams @aria-benedetto and @befuddled-calico-whump becuse really I cannot tag non-whump blogs in this 😅 and an open tag for whoever else feels like doing it.

Your words are: tired, truth, tear and torture

Wouldn't you know, I decided to do this for Till Death, because it's open, it contains all of those, and uhh... under the cut for various very unpleasant themes, blood, gore, torture, stuff like that.

Also, spoilers-ish.

Shake

There was no escape from the pain, and there wouldn’t be, and perhaps he did deserve it, but he couldn’t take it anymore. Not for three days. Three three three. Tree tree tree. Like the tree he was going to die on. He didn’t want to die, and he didn’t want to live, and he couldn’t take it anymore, but he had to, because he never got a choice, and he never had, and for that, they had called him lucky. When darkness fell, Finnian was crying again, blind to the stars sparkling above and numb to the cold creeping into his aching limbs. A cool breeze wafted through the forest, rustling in the leaves. Finnian’s body seized up. Somewhere in the distance an owl called, the sound drowning out his pained whimper as he started to shake, blood running sluggishly down his arms. Lucky, they had called him. For possessing magic, when no one in his family did.

With methodic precision, Clayton went for the spots where his skin was stretched the most. Along his arms. Inside his elbows. Across his chest. The cuts were shallow, but there were too many. Every shuddering breath and every shiver sent ripples of pain through Finnian’s body. He tried to pull his mind back, to sink into happier memories. The only ones worth thinking of were the long winter nights in Eilis’ hut. He thought of warm firelight and the quiet chiming of her bracelet. A calm, peaceful life she had been kind enough to share with him for a while. For her, he could hold on. Let her remain unharmed, so she might have a chance to get away, however small. “I told her to watch, so we should give her something worth watching, don’t you think?”

Shame

She couldn’t take another bite. It was a shame. The bread was still warm, and the butter fresh, and Finnian had gone through the trouble of preparing it for her, even though he couldn’t hold the knife well. “What’s wrong?” The wheel of his chair brushed her leg as he pulled himself closer, placing one hand on hers and raising the other to her face. Eilis leaned into his touch. His warmth wasn’t enough to stop her from shivering. I’m cold.

Shade

“How long did she suffer?” Luca asked. He walked around the wheel, keeping his gaze fixed on Finnian. The hammer was gone. Instead, Luca put his boot on Finnian’s mangled forearm, slowly pressing down. “How long?” Cracked bones drifted apart under the pressure, jagged edges breaking through skin. Finnian howled, unable to form words. It wasn’t his fault. Luca couldn’t have saved her, either; no one in their village could have. No one would have been able to fetch a healer in time. He had done everything he could. When Luca pulled his boot back, Finnian was shaking helplessly. Tears of pain and despair ran freely down his face, blurring his vision and turning the men approaching him into mere shades against the too bright sky. Two of them grabbed the wheel at his feet, lifting it. For a moment, he hung from his broken limbs with his head pressed against the ground, then someone picked up the other end of the wheel, bringing him into an almost level position.

#salad-tag #Word Find Tag #wip: till death #the last one goes with the image from earlier :)))

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pagan-stitches · 1 year

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My Plan for This Year’s Traditional Nine Course Czech Štědrovečerní večeře (Christmas Eve Dinner)

The first star appears in the sky. We have been fasting all day, with maybe only a little bread or soup at lunch. We hope to get so dizzy and disoriented from hunger that we will see the golden pig--an auspicious sign for the coming year.

The house has been smoked with incense and a sheaf of grain sprinkled with holy water has been shaken in each room.

A white cloth covers the table and it is set with an even number of plates, including one for our departed ancestors. Leftovers will be left on the table overnight for the them. On Christmas Eve, Smrtka (Morana/death) goes around the tables, and wherever she counts an odd number, she will return during the next year.

No one sits with their back to a door. We will all rise from the table together or the first person to rise will be the first person to die in the coming year. Everyone must empty their plate if we are to have a year of plenty. No one may leave the table during the entirety of the dinner to ensure that the family will be together again next year.

There is no alcohol and no meat at the table as this is still a fasting period leading up to Christmas day.

A sprig of mistletoe is on the table for love, contentment and happiness. Apples are on the table as well--after dinner we will take one from the basket and cut it across (a star shaped core means health and happiness, a cross means the arrival of death, and a wormy apple means illness). A pot of honey is on the table to protect against evil. Coins are under the plates for abundance in the new year. A bowl of garlic is placed under the table for strength and protection.

At one corner of the table is bread to symbolize food throughout the year, on second a sheaf of grain representing the yield of the fields in the following year, on the third coins promising prosperity, on the fourth a bowl for leftover bits for the animals and fruit trees-- we will sprinkle some among the persimmon trees outside, our fruit tree in the backyard here in the American south where this uprooted Štědrovečerní večeře is taking place.

The legs of the table are tied with rope to hold the family together in the coming year.

After the apple divination little boats will be made out of empty walnut shells and each family member will place a little burning candle into a shell. Everyone's shells will then be floated on a bowl of water. If the shell makes it across the bowl, its owner will live a long and healthy life. A shell that sinks brings bad luck to its owner.

After dinner Baby Jesus will deliver the decorated tree and presents. Our plan this year is to attend midnight mass at Subiaco Abbey.

Though not terribly observed any more, a traditional Czech Christmas dinner was nine courses--for the nine months Mary bore Jesus and because the richer the Christmas Eve feast, the bigger and better the harvest in the fields the next year. Because Christmas Eve was a part of Advent there were fasting rules in place in this formerly Catholic country (my ancestors who immigrated to the States were still practicing Catholics)--so depending on the region the main dish was fish or lentils or mushroom kuba. A large percentage of Czechs still have fish soup, fried carp and potato salad as their traditional meal.

Inspired by @msgraveyarddirt ‘s massive Sviata Vechera (Ukrainian Christmas Eve holy supper) undertaking I am going to attempt Christmas Eve dinner from my own Slavic ancestral homeland for #hagging out this year.

The following dishes I found on Czech language pages about traditional holiday food (Thank you google translate) or on my favorite Czech cooking blog which is kindly published in English: Cook Like Czechs. I copied verbatim the recipes from the translated Czech language pages so some of the recipes are rather rough.

I will be leaving bacon and lard out of the following recipes to follow meat fasting rules, but I will be using butter for baking.

1. Wafers with Honey and Garlic

I have found the Polish version online to order and they are so pretty. I may break down and buy some.

Before dinner, it is customary to eat a piece of wafer, honey and garlic . This is so that a person can be as beautiful as bread, as healthy as garlic and as good as honey all year round.

Ingredients:

1 kg plain flour

1 liter of water

1 egg

150 g granulated sugar

500 ml of milk

3 tablespoons of melted butter

1 vanilla sugar

Preparation

Mix the milk, water and both sugars and heat them to dissolve. Sift the flour, add milk, whole eggs, melted butter and beat thoroughly. We strain and we can bake wafers on a hot machine. When it sticks, brush the surface with a little butter. We store in a dry place.

2. Pickles

Pre-boil the vegetables (per 1 liter of water):

1 spoon salt 16 ball pepper whole 3 ball allspice 1 piece Bay leaf

Infusion:

1/4 liter vinegar 8%

3/4 liter water

1 spoon salt

2 and 1/2 tbsp sugar

10 tablet Artificial sweetener

1 piece Bay leaf

1 piece clove

3 bal lallspice

15 ball pepper

1 and 1/2 tsp mustard seed

1/2 tsp coriander

PREPARATION PROCESS

Clean the vegetables and cut them into reasonably large pieces. Put water in a pot and add salt, pepper and allspice balls and a bay leaf (all in the amount according to the liters of water). Throw in the vegetables and pre-cook them for 10 to 20 minutes, depending on their hardness. During the boiling time, we collect the boiled foam and any impurities. Drain the broth and rinse the vegetables in a colander with cold water. Now we will prepare the pickle: Let all the ingredients for the pickle boil for about 5 minutes, strain and divide the spices evenly into clean (washed and dried) glasses. Let the pre-cooked vegetables drain well and fill them to about three quarters of each glass. Fill the glasses with the prepared pickle and carefully close the lid. Sterilize for 25 minutes at 100°C completely submerged

3. Split Pea Soup with Bacon

legumes were a symbol of wealth, because they change their volume after soaking. Our ancestors understood soup as the basis of life.

INGREDIENTS

1 and ½ cups (300 g) yellow split peas

5 cups (1.2 l) broth beef, chicken or vegetable

1 tsp dried marjoram

2 cloves of garlic

⅛ tsp black pepper ground

1 tsp salt

½ cup (120 ml) heavy cream fat content 30 % and more

4 oz (110 g) sliced bacon optionally, smoked meat or sausage

6 handfuls bread croutons

INSTRUCTIONS

Pour the broth into a pot and add the split peas. Bring to a boil, then turn down the heat, cover the pot and let it simmer until the peas are tender. This step usually takes 30-40 minutes.

Blend the soft peas with an immersion blender, but not until smooth. The soup should be creamy but with a coarser texture.

Add the grated garlic and dried marjoram. Rub the marjoram between your fingers before adding.

Add heavy cream to the soup—mix, salt, and pepper. Put the soup back on the stove. Bring it to a boil and then immediately set it aside, do not cook any further.

Cut the bacon slices into strips and fry them in a pan in melted lard until almost crispy.

NOTES

SERVING: Serve the split pea soup warm, add a spoonful of fried bacon to the plate and throw in a handful of bread croutons. Add these to the soup just before serving; otherwise, they will get soggy.

4. Czech Braised Red Cabbage

Cabbage used to be an integral part of the Christmas Eve table which, according to the customs of the time, protected against colds.

INGREDIENTS

1 head red cabbage

3 onions medium

2 Tbsp pork lard or sunflower / canola oil

½ cup (100 g) white sugar

½ cup (120 ml) white wine vinegar

1 tsp salt

1 tsp caraway seeds

INSTRUCTIONS

Halve the cabbage, cut the tough stem from both halves of the head. Remove the wilted top layer of cabbage leaves. Slice or grate the cabbage thus prepared.

Peel and finely chop the onion. In a large enough pot, heat the lard and fry the onions in it until light brown.

Move the onion to the side of the pot, sliding the pot if possible, so that the onion part is away from the heating source.

Put the sugar on the free surface of the pot and let it melt; if necessary, increase the heat to speed up the caramelization of the sugar.

Once the sugar starts to turn golden, add the chopped cabbage and mix everything. Don't be alarmed if the sugar forms hard lumps - it will dissolve as the cabbage stews.

Now salt the cabbage, add the caraway seeds, and pour in the vinegar. Stir, turn down the heat. Cover the pot with a lid and simmer at low heat for about 45 minutes.

Remove the lid, raise the heat to be medium and allow any liquid that the cabbage has released to drain. Stir from time to time. Once the liquid has evaporated, and the cabbage starts to fry and stick to the bottom of the pot, you're done! This takes another 30-45 minutes.

NOTES SERVING: Serve the braised red cabbage warm as a side dish with roasted meat - pork, goose, or duck. Potato dumplings or bread dumplings are suitable as an additional side dish.

Cabbage in the recipe doesn't need to be thickened. Neither with floury roux nor with grated potatoes.

One head of cabbage is enough for about six servings of braised cabbage, served as a side dish

———————

Marinated portions of carp in beer, coated in eggs and Parmesan breadcrumbs, fried until golden brown.

5. Carp marinated in black beer

Carp appeared on the kitchen table only a hundred years ago. But at first it was not fried carp as we know it today, but blue or black carp with a dark plum sauce.

Not the number one way that I’ve found that Czechs prepare their Christmas carp, but I have seen it mentioned regularly and I thought it might be a more tempting one for my husband! I’ll probably be using catfish as a substitute.

Ingredients

800 g carp

salt

ground black pepper

crushed cumin

200 ml black beer

5 cloves garlic

sunflower oil

Directions:

Clean the carp and divide it into horseshoes. Salt the portions and season with ground pepper and crushed cumin.

Mix the beer with pressed garlic and a spoonful of oil.

Put the fish horseshoes in the marinade and let them rest for at least two hours.

Remove the fish from the marinade and dry it. Then slowly fry it in oil in a pan.

6. Potato Salad

I found a version without, mayo. I’m not a huge fan of potato salad and I’m trying to find one that sounds more tempting. My mother-in law makes a warm German potato salad. I’m wondering how this one would be warmed up?

I’ll be using the pickles from the recipe above, so I guess technically I’m double dipping a little on my 9 courses?

Potato salad from potatoes cooked the day before in their skins, peeled the next day, cut into cubes and mixed with pickled vegetables. The salad is seasoned with oil, pepper and salt, or even sugar.

Ingredient:

1kg potato

1 glass pickled zleniny Kunovjanka

1 small glass pickled baby carrots with peas

2 tablespoons vegetable oil

1 pc larger onions

water for cooking potatoes

(sugar)

pepper

salt

Procedure:

1. Cook the potatoes in their skins the day before, peel the peel the next day, cut the potatoes into smaller cubes

2. Add finely chopped onion, preserved vegetables with part of the brine to the potatoes (cut larger pieces)

3. Finally, season the salad with oil, salt and pepper, let it rest in the fridge.

Recommendation:

If the salad is too acidic, we can flavor it with sugar.

7. Mushroom Kuba

Mushrooms were attributed divine origin and were supposed to protect people from diseases and harmful forces. Whole grains symbolized new life and were a promise of the next good harvest symbolizing prosperity . The popular black kuba was supposed to give everyone who ate it crispness and freshness for the whole next year.

Among the ancient Slavs, the forest was held in great esteem, and mushrooms , as its fruits, were considered something sacred, worthy of worship. It is therefore quite possible that the mushroom kuba as a dish has its origins already in pre-Christian times, when it could be enjoyed cultically as part of the pagan celebrations of the winter solstice.

Ingredients:

400 g of fresh or 50 g of dried mushrooms

500 g of semolina

2 spoons of lard

2-3 onions

salt

2-3 cloves of garlic

a little lard for sprinkling the dish and greasing the baking pan.

Procedure:

Cook the grits with crushed garlic, salt and lard until soft. We especially cook fresh or dry mushrooms.

Place a layer of cooked grits and a layer of cooked mushrooms in a greased baking dish.

The last layer must be boiled groats. Sprinkle the surface with melted lard and bake for about 25 minutes.

8. Music--fruit compote

As a finishing touch to the Christmas Eve feast, Christmas music was served. Dried fruit compote is hidden behind the unusual name of the dessert. The music is best left over, and therefore it is prepared a few days in advance, ideally on December 21 for the feast of St. Tomas. That's why it was also called Tomáš compote.

You need:

300 g of dried fruit (equal parts of apple, pear and prunes)

a small handful of raisins

cinnamon

star anise

three cloves

a handful of grated gingerbread

honey and lemon juice to taste

Method:

Cover the fruit and raisins in a bowl with cold water a few centimeters above the fruit. Let stand until the next day.

Move the swollen fruit to a pot and add water to keep it submerged. Add spices and let everything cook slowly for half an hour.

Remove the spices, add the gingerbread and flavor the compote with honey and lemon juice. Let it bubble for another quarter of an hour, the gingerbread will dissolve and the flavors will blend.

Serve warm with a slice of Vánočka

9. Bread/Vánočka

Yeast dough was a symbol of strength and wealth for our ancestors because it changes its volume. It was believed that a damaged bread foretells misfortune. That's why careful attention was paid to their preparation,

INGREDIENTS

2 and ½ cups (330 g) all-purpose flour

⅔ stick (75 g) unsalted butter

⅓ cup (65 g) granulated sugar

⅓ cup (35 g) blanched almonds finelly chopped

⅓ cup (35 g) raisins soaked in rum

20 g fresh yeast or 1 and ½ tsp instant yeast

½ cup 120 ml milk lukewarm

1 egg for dough

vanilla essence

lemon zest freshly grated

1 egg for egg wash

½ tsp salt

blanched almonds chopped to sprinkle the top of vánočka

INSTRUCTIONS

Sift the flour into a large mixing bowl, make a well in the center. Crumble the fresh yeast (or add dried yeast) into the well sprinkle with 1 tsp sugar. Pour over with a little lukewarm milk and carefully mix the liquid center together with a little flour until a mass similar to the semi-liquid batter is created. Dust with some flour and place the bowl with the mixture into the oven which is turned off. Put in the bottom of the oven a small pot with hot water. Close the oven door and let the yeast work for 30 minutes. The activated yeast should be bubbly and frothy after.

Pour the rest milk into a bowl, add melted butter and an egg. Whisk together. Add to the flour mixture.

Add remaining sugar, lemon zest, vanilla essence, salt. Knead everything together until the result is smooth and slightly sticky. If you use a kitchen mixer, knead the dough for 10 minutes using a paddle attachment. Kneading the dough with your hand, count on 15 minutes to finish.

In the end, incorporate drained raisins and chopped almonds into the dough.

Let the dough rise for a further 30 minutes in the warm place (ideally again in the steamy warm environment in the oven).Line a baking tray with parchment paper.

Divide the risen dough into 2 parts (60 % and 40 %). Cur each part into 3 pieces. Roll out pieces into long strands. Braid strands as if you braided someone’s hair.

Place the bigger braid as the base onto a lined baking tray. Flatten the middle a bit with the side of your hand and put there the other (smaller) braid on the top of the upper braid.

Stick 3 skewers vertically into the vánočka: one in the middle, the second, and third on the ends. Skewers will help the vánočka to hold a nice shape during the rising and baking.

Let the vánočka rise for 1 hour in a warm place (again, the best environment is in the oven with a pot with hot water inside).Make egg wash: whisk an egg with a fork, brush the surface of vánočka. Sprinkle with chopped almonds.

Pre-heat oven to 320 °F (160 °C).Bake vánočka for 40-50 minutes. Beware! The vánočka will start to get gold in the middle of baking, cover it with tin foil so it doesn’t burn.

Make a skewer test at the end of the baking: Insert a wooden skewer into the center of vánočka, it should come out clean, without any streaks of non-baked dough. This is a sign that the vánočka is finished!T

Take the vánočka out of the oven, remove the tin foil and skewers.

Dust vánočka with powdered sugar.

The special shape and braiding of the bread are said to represent the swaddled baby Jesus. Even a slice has the faintest appearance (blanket, arms, head). Though there are various methods to braid vánočka, a common one consists of a bottom 4-rope braid (said to represent earth, sun, water, and air), topped with a 3-rope middle braid (symbolizing reason, will, and emotion), and then a 2-rope top braid (for love and wisdom). These altogether are meant to bring people closer to God.

In the village baking of vanochka was also associated with a ritual, when a housekeeper smeared all the fruit trees in the garden by the dough to ensure their fertility in the next year .

The Magical Powers of Foods and Plants

Certain plants, spices and foods are said to have special qualities and have been an important part of Czech Christmas celebrations throughout history.

Garlic Garlic is an essential part of Christmas that should not be missing at any Christmas dinner. It is believed to provide strength and protection. A bowl of garlic can be placed under the dinner table.

Honey Honey is believed to guard against evil. A pot of honey can be placed on the dinner table.

Mushrooms Mushrooms give health and strength. A traditional meal called kuba, prepared from dried mushrooms, barley, garlic, onions, and spices, used to be served as the main meal in the past. Mushroom soup can be served before dinner.

Sheaf of Grain A bundle of grain dipped in holy water can be used to sprinkle the house to prevent it from burning down in the next year.

Poppyseed, peas, wheat, barley If given to the hens on Christmas Eve, lots of eggs will be laid in the coming year.

Vánočka (Christmas bread) Feeding a piece of vánočka to the cows on Christmas Eve will ensure that there will be lots of milk all year. Putting a few vánočka crumbs in front of the bee hive will make sure that the bees will produce enough honey next year. Throwing a piece of vánočka into the well will ensure good quality of the water.

Apple If the goats are given apples on Christmas Eve, their milk will be sweet.

#Štědrovečerní večeře #Czech cuisine #Czech Christmas Customs #hagging out

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100dayproductivity · 6 months

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8/100.

Ahh! All the 🤬ing things. I'm starting to get overwhelmed again by all the things. I find that I'm using this blog as a way to get my thoughts organized and less overwhelming. What about you? Does blogging help you? Do you have another place you write stuff down to organize your thoughts?

Right. So further to yesterday's exciting job-related events, I did meet with the contact about a job a mutual friend recommended me for. But I won't be taking it. Basically it pays too little for too many hours too far away to make it worth my while. Given my current hourly rate and schedule, it doesn't make sense for me to take the job. So that's that. On the bright side, my resume is all up-to-date and looks pretty fantastic if I do say so myself. And now I know for sure the opportunity was not a good fit for me and not kicking myself with "what-if"s.

Next.

Day before yesterday's to-do list, with updates:

Figure out what healthy and nutritious food I will consume today ✓

So I did manage to make myself a healthy and nutritious meal two days ago, as well as yesterday, but guess what? I need to make myself a healthy and nutritious meal again today. 😮‍💨 For my kid too, actually. So I'll need to get some fresh produce today.

Wash bed cover my cat puked on 😿🤦🏻‍♀️ ✓

I did wash it AND I even put it in the dryer but omg I again forgot all about it. Have not checked if it dried completely. Hopefully it hasn't been sitting damp in the dryer for the past two days 😮‍💨

Do up invoices! ✓

I did this! Even sent them! Now I just need to remember to remind people to remember to pay me 😮‍💨

Deal with dishes. ✓

Did it. Need to do it again today. Rinse. Repeat.

Deposit cheque.

Roll out knots in leg muscle. ✓

Did it. A lot. But still have massive tight knots all up my leg so need to continue doing this.

Pick up paint primer.

So actually, someone has some leftover primer they can give me for free. I sourced it from our local Buy Nothing group. Do you have one of those where you live? It's a Facebook group for neighbours to exchange unwanted items for free. If there isn't one where you live, I highly recommend you consider starting one. It is a fabulous way to give items a second life and keep things out of the landfill. Be part of the solution!

Do Sun Salutation x10

Did not do this. Not even once.

Take inhaler

I remembered to do this! But I've still got stuff in my lungs so should keep this on the list for a while.

Ok, let's update this Bad Boy.

To-do:

Take bed cover out of dryer.

Deposit cheque. ✓

Pick up paint primer. ✓

Pick up produce, bread, milk, butter, sandwich stuff. ✓

Recurring:

Roll out knots in leg muscle.

Do Sun Salutation x10

Take inhaler

Let's do this! 💪

---

Back from errands, I'm so tired and sleepy now. My plantar fasciitis is flaring up too. I've iced it, now applying heat. I feel like just napping 😴 But I've set the timer for 20 minutes, then I need to:

Clean up disaster in kitchen: empty dishwasher, load dishwasher, clear off table.

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ciaossu-imagines · 4 months

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Any Kusakabe and u Xmas HC?

Holy, you spoil me so frigging much, Martha! I love you and this ask and thank you for the chance of getting to be delightfully self-indulgent!

Oh boy, you bet your ass I have lots of Christmas headcanons for me and Kusakabe. I love the man and he is definitely a fictional character where, even when I'm not using him as a fictional other, I'm using him as one of my fictional best friends.

So, as anyone who knows me or has read this blog in previous years has learned about me is that I absolutely frigging adore Christmas. It stresses me out to insane degrees, but it is tied with Halloween as my favourite day of the year. Everything about Christmas, the magic and wonder and peace on earth and peace to all mankind build-up around it, just makes me happy and strangely nostalgic for things I've never experienced and only seen in movies and Norman Rockwell paintings.

I start my Christmas decorating ridiculously early, something Kusakabe likes to tease me about and kind of grumps about. He points out that…it's legit November fucking first, we really don't need to be digging up the many boxes of Christmas decorations yet. We really, really don't. Like, can't you at least wait until after Remembrance Day to which I always reply with 'Halloween is over; it's fucking Christmas bitch!' with the exact same confidence and sass as Britney Spears when she said 'it's Britney, bitch!'

He does grump but Kusakabe is great at getting all the boxes down from the higher shelves before I even have the time to think of getting a chair. He picks up all the heavy boxes and brings them out for me too, telling me it would really help him out if I'd grab the awkwardly shaped but really light boxes.

Because this man is stupidly strong, and he seems the type who would lift weights just to make sure he can pick my fat ass up, he lifts me up to put the Santa hat on the top of my tree instead of risking me falling off the chair or taking the joy away from me of putting the tree topper on.

Kusakabe has not a shred of aesthetic value or appreciation though and leaves the overall decorating scheme of the year up to me.

I do see Kusakabe as someone who has learned to be a really good cook and a decent baker. Hibari is such a finicky, fussy eater that sometimes the only way he gets fed is if Kusakabe makes his meals just so, so Kusakabe learned kitchen skills. Skills that come in useful not just for helping me do all the Christmas baking, but the jam and pickle making, for the care packages full of goodies that we go and deliver to friends and family the week leading up to Christmas proper.

And because he knows just how hard the big family supper will be for me, he makes sure that we have a Christmas supper all our own done on Boxing Day or Christmas Eve, whichever one I'm feeling more like that year. We spend hours together putting it together and making a fun time out of it, singing along to Christmas carols and sometimes dancing in the kitchen.

And that big family supper? Food was highly weaponized by my mother first and then by my step-father and his family growing up. My portions were heavily restricted growing up, always less than my sister's, and there were chairs I was plain out told I was too fat to sit in growing up, that I would break them. I still have a lot of anxiety around eating at big family suppers, though therapy has made things better when it comes to my family.

Kusakabe plates for me, keeping the portions small enough that my mother won't kick up too much fuss, and abruptly changing the subject if she or my sisters bring up my weight or the food or anything like that, shutting them down without causing drama to erupt. He drove me to and from the meal so that we don't have to stay overly long, and he tucked a Tupperware container in the back seat before we left without me realizing it, with slices of freshly made bread in it and little containers full of butter and jam, as a special treat for surviving the supper to eat on the way home.

He gives me head pats and lets me lay my head in his lap and fall asleep on Christmas night as we watch It's a Wonderful Life and I am just perfectly happy and content and I feel spoiled and full of goodwill and joy towards all of mankind.

#replies #katekyo hitman reborn #khr #self-shipping headcanons #headcanons #kusakabe tetsuya #self indulgence #i love this man

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rememberwehadthestars · 1 year

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I'm going to use my little tumblr blog to keep myself on track during the holiday season. So if this isn't for you...please just skip this post.

Trying to maintain my current weight/ previous weight loss during December is not easy. (if you don't know...I lost around 40 pounds almost 2 years ago and I've managed to maintain it -- which is the longest I've maintained such a weight loss) My goal is to lose 10 more pounds starting in Jan....but for now let's just try to maintain in December. It is not easy around the holidays....not easy at all. I like freshly baked bread, chips and chocolate. These food groups are my areas of downfall. Like croissants or bread right out the oven with butter....YUM....omg...stop. Soooo this is why I'm here writing this.

I bought a very not fancy pedometer on amazon so i can keep my daily steps up without having to use a phone or anything...I just want something simple...that i can reset daily. I write my total daily number on my notes app and then reset the pedometer before bed. lol Honestly it's been the best thing...this low tech pedometer that clips onto my shoe or can fit in my pocket. Who knew? No constant dings/wifi/bluetooth needed. Lovely.

I'm also trying to do my cardio workout 5x a week this month. Trying being the key word.

I'm going to give myself 7 days in December to take off from watching myself. Not all 7 in a row... cause I could easily gain 7 pounds in 7 days if I did that. I figure 2 around xmas and 1 for new years and then 3 the rest of this month. I already took one...so technically I'm at 6.

I'm also trying to intermittent fast 16:8. So YEAH let's see how that plays out. lmao I downloaded this app called Zero and am trying it out. It sets a timer for me...so I can visually see when my fast starts/is supposed to end. I normally don't eat until 11am most days anyways so this isn't a big stretch for me. Just adding an hour or two to my fast.

so yeah..... I'll let you all know how this turns out later this month. I figure by writing this all out here...it'll help kick my ass into motivation. I've struggled with weight loss/keeping weight off for most of my life -- so I'll check back in at the end of the month on my results from this plan.

If anyone else struggles with this during the holidays...I feel you. I really do.

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umichenginabroad · 2 months

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Madrid Week 5: I been in the kitchen, whippin, whippin (cheffin?)

Holaaaa a todxs otra vez! Niko back here with week 5 of the Madrid blog, sorry that I’m a day late :). This week’s blog will have less to do with Madrid/Spain/Europe/culture, and more to do with a little personal project of mine while abroad: learning how to cook (well).

I’ve always had cooking as a part of my life, and that’s thanks to my Mom, who always made the most delicious meals growing up from all sorts of cuisines. On a typical Sunday evening, my Mom would pick a recipe — either something new, or a family classic — and enlist me and my sister’s help in preparing it for the whole family. I learned a good amount this way: how to dice an onion, how to chop an onion into slivers, how to caramelize an onion… along with various other skills that don’t have anything to do with onions.

In high school, right before COVID hit, I decided to teach myself how to bake bread. It seemed like a kind of impossible task, of sorts — something that only professional bakers who woke up at 5am knew how do to, or grandmas who somehow always had the skill. I don’t remember how my first loaf turned out, but I’m guessing it was just good enough, because I found a new passion in baking from that point onward. I kept challenging myself to go for more complicated pastries, culminating in my proudest buttery achievement: a 3 day baking marathon that yielded some perfectly flaky homemade croissants.

In baking, I found joy in the precise imprecision of it all.

Many people I know have told me that they see baking is a science; All of the ratios have to be perfect; There’s no room for error. While it’s true that if you add too much flour you’ll dry out your dough, or if you overload on the butter you’ll end up with a crispy puddle instead of a cookie (that also destroys your baking sheet) (speaking from firsthand experience), the more I practiced, the more I was able to bake using feeling and intuition instead of trusting a recipe. I could tell what dough felt like when it needed a little more kneading, or what it looked like when it had risen just enough. Through baking traditional Greek breads and desserts, I also found a new avenue for connection to my heritage. The gratification I received when I got a delicious final product — and one that I could share with family and friends — was all that I needed to continue having fun with the hobby.

Now, flash forward a few years, I’m a freshman in college. I’m in a dorm (Bursley T_T ), no kitchen access in sight, and eating exclusively in dining halls. Baking fell to the wayside, aside from the casual holiday cookie produced during breaks. Flash forward another year, I’ve got an apartment with a very functional kitchen — but now I’ve overloaded myself with classes and other extracurriculars, bought a dining plan, and treated mealtimes as activities to be completed as efficiently as possible so that they wouldn’t interfere with everything else I had to do in a day.

Needless to say, I wasn’t doing much baking, and the same was true with cooking — once a week I’d maybe make some dry chicken breast in a pan with some crudely chopped red bell peppers and call it a night. Last semester, fall of Junior year, at the peak of my business with school and extracurricular responsibility, I found myself in the kitchen even less.

I was satisfied with this rhythm. I enjoyed dining hall food for the most part (much to the surprise of most friends), and I really was saving time that I spent on other things. However, part of me looked at friends that were regularly home-cooking delicious, healthy meals for themselves (or for their entire co-op) and felt a pang of jealousy. Mealtime can be a sacred ritual for connection — both with yourself and with others — if you want it to be, and that was something I wanted to be able to foster.

The turning point in this cooking journey revolved around Monday night game night, the CFB championships, Michigan vs Washington. My cousin had invited me and my sister over to watch the game, with the promise that he would chef us some of his world famous confit chicken wings. My cousin is probably one of the best freehand chefs that I personally know. If you give this man some simple ingredients and a couple of spices, he’ll pull out some random cooking technique I thought only existed in high end French bistros and make some truly creative — and delicious — food, based solely on his experience and earned intuition. I think of him and flavors kind of like Remy from Ratatouille with the cheese and the strawberry, y’all know what I’m talking about.

This was the type of cooking that I had always sought after but never figured I was capable of without going to culinary school. Impressive, but something that only professional chefs who woke up at 5am knew how to do, or grandmas who just always had the skill…

Before leaving my cousin’s house (and after Michigan had won the natty 😎), I asked him how he learned to cook freehand so well. He told me that, although he had always been around cooking in his family, his skills truly blossomed when he was abroad in London for a year — when he was forced to cook for himself. He mastered simple dishes, without using recipes — pan seared chicken breast, roasted vegetables — which served as a launching pad to trying more and more complicated dishes, each time committing the cooking experience (and result) to memory and drawing upon it for the next plate.

So, flash forward to present day. Essentially, I said “Bet.”

I’ve got a bunch more time now that I’m abroad, and groceries here are significantly cheaper — meaning I can get more ingredients at a higher quality and set aside a few hours to truly explore. The first week or two, I was pretty much just doing chicken and red bell peppers, and maybe some rice. But since then, I’ve started exploring a little more — risotto, Bolognese, spatchcock chicken, basted steak — and the process has been incredibly enjoyable. I can feel some sense of intuition forming, and I find myself relying on recipes less and less with each meal cooked — having my baking experience as a backdrop gives me confidence that I'm on the right path.

dishes from my first week or two cooking freehand

Those that know me well know that I find a lot of pleasure in learning a new skill. To be honest, I do a lot of random stuff that doesn't really have much of a common thread, which is why I’m somewhat of a “Jack of All Trades, Master of None”. Cooking freehand is the newest addition to that list of random skills, but I think it’s one that’s here to stay. Not only is it fun and delicious, but incredibly utilitarian.

In the words of my cousin: “It means you’ll never have to eat bad food... Not everyone wants your homemade candles or scarves, but everyone can f*ck up a home cooked meal.”

Facts.

The biggest item on my food to-cook list is to make Avgolemono soup with homemade chicken broth, which is a Greek soup dish that holds a special place in my heart — one that my grandma made all the time. Stay tuned for the results in a future blog. Per usual, check out the image descriptions for a little inside scoop on the meals I've cooked so far.

In other news this week, I saw one of my favorite DJs Interplanetary Criminal, continued on with classes, and some friends from Arlington VA, my hometown, visited for the weekend from their other study-abroad-cities in Europe (including Emma, who's house I stayed at in Granada!).

See you all again next week!

Hasta ahora,

Niko Economos

Aerospace Engineering

Universidad Carlos III de Madrid

Madrid, Spain

#UmichEnginAbroad #IPEUC3M #NikoEconomos #IPEWinter24 #Spain

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leprosycock · 2 months

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do you have any brocon pairing/fic recommendations you haven't mentioned on this blog before?

i know i've definitely mentioned them on this blog but aqua teen is sooooo good for brocon when you keep in mind that they are in fact brothers and all the weird shit they do and say to each other is within the confines of them being brothers. and v3nture bros obviously (even though i think the dadson in it hits different). waycest is my ride or die for brocon but it's in a little bit of a different ballpark because it's rpf, however the lore is so awesome that i think it's worth checking out even if you're not super familiar with mcr. tenormancest from s0uth park is pretty fucking epic. if you've ever suffered through g0tham or ever felt compelled to suffer through it, valeskacest was my bread and butter back in the day and i wrote about twelve or thirteen fics for it back in 2018/2019.

as far as brocon fics, i have a ton of recs here on my list! i also wrote a codynoeI brocon fic years ago and plenty of other stuff in my bookmarks that you can browse through.

#bunnyaskz

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fyodorloveclub · 1 year

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Hi, my favorite thigh humpers it's me 🪱 again. omg, two asks back to back? and not literally three months apart? guys therapy is working. actually, I haven't had a therapy appointment in three months! not because I don't need it but because I keep forgetting 🥰 also Flora I know you're busy and need time to go through your inbox and reply so don't worry about getting back to me!

anyways do you guys like fictional war criminals' cocks? I bet you do! (if not why tf are you on this blog 😭 ) Well boy do I have the thing for you! unhinged HC about Fyodor featuring me describing his dick at random throughout the post.

-Fyodor is a regular customer buying body butter on Etsy, his favorite scent is sweet alpha musk.

-Fyodor only uses the towels he bought at a garage sale that has like the cupid babies embroidered on them and has "Love" sewn into them.

-Fyodor calls the stem of a grape the butt plug of nature.

-Fyodor won't admit it but all he wants to do is take a warm bath, while ABBA plays in the background.

-Fyodor once kidnapped a 4-year-old during the 2011 Olympics at 8:07pm in Shanghai China. He took to a restaurant because kids under the age of 10 get to eat for free and he lost his wallet while bike riding. The kid had tons of fun and Fyodor even got her a stuffed bear from the arcade. He is now on a watchlist. Fyodor's dick is a 6.9889 inches

-Fyodor has like ten pairs of shoes and each one of them is embroidered with FBGM, or Fuck Bitches Get Money. Nikola said it was an abbreviation of a famous passage in the bible. Fyodor is an idiot lmao anyways fuck bitches get money RAHH

-Fyodor likes to eat his bread rolls as if he's a starving victorian child. Sigma doesn't know if he doesn't because it's funny or if it's a trauma response. Fyodor's dick leans about 20 degrees to the right. \

-Fyodor likes talking and strolls through parks quite often :)

-Fyodor was a head campaign manager for Obama's re-election year! he also embezzled 100,000 USD from the US government.

-Fyodor dresses up all his pets in clothes every day. and on holidays he comes up with matching outfits

-Fyodor half the time doesn't know what he's doing when he's hacking, he kinda just presses random buttons and hopes he doesn't accidentally doesn't shut down some country's water system. He's smart enough to easily learn and pick up on patterns of code but is just too lazy some days. His dick is rather skinny but he knows how to use it

-Fyodor is a fan of Kafka's work so one day he decided to read letters to Milena, Fyodor no longer believes in love because know has ever told him that "in a way, you are like poetry material; you are full of cloudy subtitles I am willing to spend a lifetime figuring out." lmao he literally was so dramatic afterward. Nikola complimented his outfit and he said: "if you don't tell me I am like poetry that you're willing to spend your life figuring out then don't fucking say anything."

-Fyodor may or may not have had a bbl. his tip is a light flush pink and the base is slightly tanner than the rest of his body not by much but it's noticeable enough.

-Fyodor thought S&M by Rihanna was about getting arrested. LMAO

-Fyodor one time had to go pee so bad he used a Gatorade bottle to pee in and left it on the side of the road that said: 'for those with a piss kink'

-Fyodor has fought an 11-year-old at Mc Donalds because, in their BTS meal, they got a Namjoon photocard. (they only did the photocard thing in Korea I think)

-Fyodor ran up two flights of stairs passed out and ended up taking care of some old lady's apartment while she traveled through Europe

-Fyodor can't pronounce the word pronounced. I want his cock shoved down my throat.

-Fyodor collects stickers but doesn't know what to stick them on too so now he has two drawers of stickers. his balls are about average darker than the rest, and he's well-trimmed.

-Fyodor has thought about marrying his hat, and having sex with it! he was on acid at this time.

welp, that's all for today, sorry if this was short, and also sorry if this is like spamming? again no need to answer me right away mwah

Sincerely your one and only fuckable hat

-🪱

literally no words there is nothing i could say to make this any better im just gonna sit here and cackle thank u so much

the random descriptions of his cock thrown in genuinely kill me

#💀💀💀💀#🪱 demon #voices in my head #{ musings; fyodor }

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colorfulatlas · 3 months

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I think lots of older folk here would be surprised that I've experienced forums and blogs before back in the day. I very much used to go to a couple like everyday for a while! In a blog/forum thingy similar to Equestria Daily they used to upload MLP episodes (w spanish subs!) everyday as The Hub released them baaaack in Season 4 and 5. It was the bread and butter of my MLP phase. I also used to go to a forum site for a public Minecraft server that had a lot of games.

Sadly I think both of them are not up anymore (haven't gone in them in YEARS anyways) but I remember them fondly, even if I've never published something or never interacted

#atomic talks

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shenanigans-and-imagines · 4 months

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WOOOO!! Congrats on the 6,000!!!! 🥳🙌✨ I’m so happy for youuuuu~!!

Fandom I’d like to be shipped in: Baldur’s Gate 3 please 🙏

Gender I’d like to be shipped with: Any

Description of my personality:

Word I would use to describe myself: creative. Word others might use to describe me: friendly (alternatively: dramatic). I love people, but sometimes I get exhausted and need some alone time after interactions. Except with kiddos—I could play make-believe and be asked 9million questions by all the children all day and still be good to go on all the adventures. I have strong emotions but sometimes I get stuck in a dissociative state and have trouble expressing things—it takes some grounding for me to stay present. Music is my first love, but I’m studying to be a medical herbalist at the moment. Being outside exploring and foraging soothes me just as much as curling up inside on a rainy day with a good book and a cup of herbal tea. I tend to roam and don’t like to close myself off to different experiences, but at the same time I crave a safe place to call home, and I endeavor to make that place a safe haven for all who enter.

Who I would ship you with and why:

Okay, I kept going back and forth in my bed for your ship, so I’m picking two! 🤗

1. Astarion. Because I feel like you would get on like bread ‘n’ butter. Both respecting each others’ space but also being there for each other too when needed. You’d have a relationship based on deep understanding and mutual respect—you get each other. And neither of you judge the other for what you feel or the boundaries you both might have. Also, with his love for reading he’s definitely going to encourage you to finish writing your books so he can read them. Also, picture this: you writing away, Astarion’s head resting in your lap—every now and then you pause in your writing, absentmindedly running your fingers through Astarion’s soft curls as you think about what to put on the page next. You swear you hear Astarion purr like a cat. You look down at him and he’s the picture of pure contentment: eyes closed, body relaxed, face blissfully serene. He might not be moving from your lap for a while, but you don’t mind. You go back to writing, a sense of renewal I washes through mind as you feel the comforting weight of his body against yours.

2. Gale. Because I know you both are going to infodump on each other—and you both absolutely adore when the other is off on another tangent about something they’re passionate about. Gale feels utterly cherished when you listen him talk about the things near and dear to him. He’s never really had anyone listen to him as attentively as you do. He usually finds people are prone switching off and zoning out so he’ll cut himself off. But not with you. The look of genuine interest you give him, and the questions you ask never fail to warm his heart and spur his enthusiasm on. He is more than willing and happy to return the favor for you and finds himself more captivated by you with every word that passes through your lips. He also completely understands what he’s like to be lost in one’s own head. So he has no qualms about you needing alone time. Also it doesn’t hurt that Tara absolutely adores you—she even lets you rub her belly and she doesn’t even let Gale do that.

P.S. I’m waaay more active on my side blog @i-cast-bardic-inspiration but I can’t send asks from there…I didn’t know side blogs couldn’t send asks until after I established mine :’) so anyway, if I reblog or respond from that one, just know—it meeeee~! ✨

P.P.S. Congratulations again—you deserve all the best!! Because you are:

✨ T h e B e s t ✨

I ship you with Wyll

You two strike the perfect balance of wanting the same things out of life while also being different enough to keep things interesting.

Wyll wants to help people, first and foremost, but at the same time, wants a home he can call his own. With you, he can have both.

You two could have so many adventures together. He would be enraptured by your knowledge of nature and how you use it to help cure others. He'd want to show you everything, telling tales of his own travels and promising to take your there to see them for yourself.

At the same time, knowing he can build a home with you is everything to him. He would love nothing more than to be able to curl up with you after a long day and drink tea. He will dance with you in the kitchen, humming a song into your ears. Just imagine the two of you playing with a bunch of kiddos. You're everyone's favorite baby sitters!

It's the place the pair of you can retreat to when it gets to be too much. He knows it's sometimes difficult for you to experience all the emotions you feel as deeply as you do. He'll be more than patient, allowing you to work through them rather than force you to pretend they don't exist. It's one of the things he loves about you.

In conclusion, let this prince charming sweep you off your feet. He is begging to!

I'm weeping. I love them both so much. Thank you! This is a polycule I can get behind.

6k Follower Celebration (requests are still open)

(4/30)

#6k followers #6000 follower celebration #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #wyll ravengard #astarion #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep

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