#the first one is genuinely canon

[xlillyle]

"We can delay the mission for another two minutes."

#crossposting from twitter #i really liked the post and i am obsessed with my own answer for it #so im posting it here too #first i wanted to use the i used corruption because i trusted you line #or of course you used corruption believing in me is a classic too #someone else did the latter already though on twt #anyways i ended up remembering this moment and went insane and posted it #wdym Dazai canonically said the end of the world can wait two minutes #just so Chuuya can have a real CHOICE #and he planned for an alternative too!! or well he was trying to #because he wanted to give him a REAL CHOICE #thinking about the lovecraft chapter and chuuya saying whenever Dazai says its his choice its not actually his #stopped typing here bc i went to discuss with Ray my thoughts about if Dazai leaves him a genuine choice every time and if Chuuya knows #came to the conclusion that Chuuya thinks its the illusion of a choice even though it isnt #the backup plan might be crazy and not as successful as a corruption plan would be but Dazai for sure always has one #nobody can convince me otherwise #uh ok this was a lot of rambling coughs #bungou stray dogs #soukoku #skk #dazai osamu #bsd #chuuya nakahara #bsd skk #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #bsd stormbringer #xlillyle bsd threads

[waitingforsecretsouls]

Disclaimer that I might be wrong about this, only personal impressions etc., but I feel like there exists a tendency to often depict first age Galadriel as not only particularly distanced but also disdainful towards the rest of her kin, particularly regarding Alqualondë. Which is very interesting to me, if you consider that she's the one who gets a scene of direct and pointed questioning with Melian about the finer points of the exile and lies (even if by omission) to her face. Which occurs after she had already established a stable acquaintanceship with her.

Galadriel his sister went not with him to Nargothrond, for in Doriath dwelt Celeborn, kinsman of Thingol, and there was great love between them. Therefore she remained in the Hidden Kingdom, and abode with Melian, and of her learned great lore and wisdom concerning Middle-earth. -Chapter 13: OF THE RETURN OF THE NOLDOR

She furthermore also seems committed to letting bygones be bygones:

And on a time Melian said: ‘There is some woe that lies upon you and your kin. That I can see in you, but all else is hidden from me; for by no vision or thought can I perceive anything that passed or passes in the West: a shadow lies over all the land of Aman, and reaches far out over the sea. Why will you not tell me more?’ ‘For that woe is past,’ said Galadriel; ‘and I would take what joy is here left, untroubled by memory. And maybe there is woe enough yet to come, though still hope may seem bright.’ -Chapter 15: OF THE NOLDOR IN BELERIAND

Which is not to say that she couldn't have born a grudge about Alqualondë, but rather that she prioritized unity among the Noldor and Sindar over acting on said grudge and made the deliberate choice to try and move on, even at the cost of her personal integrity (since she presumable started her tutelage while the first kinslaying was still kept a secret which is...audacious to say the least).

#silm #galadriel #I'll always give both her and Finrod props for not selling out the rest of the family #much as i might otherwise not particularly care for them #they're no snitches! #i genuinely do not mean to frame every one of my posts as basically 'here's why I disagree with popular fanon' #and I genuinely mean no disrespect to people who enjoy it! #but it IS what often prompts me to consider 'how come I don't vibe with this?' #which is not to say that I do not understand how alternate interpretations and views form and become popular #Galadriels entire first age narrative is basically remaining shunted off in Doriath afterall #or that I consider my views as the one true canon..

[stairset]

I think the portrayal of Spider-Man 2099 in Across the Spider-Verse is in-character in that aside from like Shattered Dimensions he's always been portrayed as a bit of an asshole who slips into anti-hero territory at times and generally has a "needs of the many over the needs of the few" mindset and given his specific circumstances in the movie it's not unreasonable to think he could take the actions he does. However it does kinda suck that since like 99% of moviegoers had no idea who he was before the movie came out their first impression of him is when he's in an antagonistic role and people think "antagonist" and "villain" are synonyms so now I'm gonna have to listen to people who've never read a comic saying he's a villain or isn't a real Spider-Man for the rest of time or at least until he inevitably changes his mind in the third one.

#hell you don't even need to read a comic just look up a let's play of spider-man edge of time you'll get what i mean #but yeah i saw a post that was like #''the first movie had a joke about how spider-man doesn't wear a cape and miguel has a cape they did that to show he's not spider-man'' #as if he hasn't had that cape since his creation 30 fucking years ago #he's not even the only spider-man to have one. spider-man unlimited is also a thing that exists. #even the first movie had that call-back joke where they see the peter from miles's universe had a suit with a cape #these movies have a lot of little details with deeper meanings but the cape thing just isn't one of them sorry #but yeah. play edge of time or find it on youtube it's good. #shattered dimensions is also good but miguel's personality in that game is closer to peter's for some reason #so edge of time is better for getting a feel of what he's usually like #but yeah i do think spider-verse miguel was probably more straightforwardly heroic like other versions before the whole dead family thing #and i think he and the rest of the spider society are just genuinely misguided about how the whole canon event thing works #cause like george and gwen don't die in every universe peter doesn't get the symbiote in every universe #even uncle ben doesn't die in every universe #but miguel THINKS those things always happen. that's why he got the others to believe it cause he genuinely believes it himself #and i think they all take comfort in the idea that these bad things that happen to them happen for a reason #i know that's josh keaton's interpretation for why spectacular peter joined and i don't disagree with it #that's also why i disagree with people saying that miles is The Only True Spider-Man There just cause he was the first to outright reject it #look me in the fucking eye and tell me spectacular peter and insomniac peter don't understand what it means to be spider-man #or actually don't cause i'll bitch slap you into next week if you do #miguel o'hara #marvel #shut up tristan

[palpunte]

1329.1 "Mudd's Women"

#star trek #the original series #deforest kelley is sooooo prettyyyyyy in this scene #spock #leonard mccoy #my gifs #gif #in general the antagonism between spock and mccoy seems fairly genuine in the early episodes #particularly from spock's side in this episode #one of the things that spock and data have in common is that when we first meet them they have canonically been living among humans #for several DECADES and yet they're written to be novelly and uniquely baffled by the human behaviors they're seeing #as though this were their first time #this is for the benefit of the audience but it's quite funny when you think about it #to be honest i think vulcans just intentionally refuse to get used to it #they WANT to be novelly annoyed by humans each and every single time and by jove they WILL be

[agnisleftpec]

in light of lie detector tests irl being mostly bullshit, especially so for people with anxiety, combined with fandom shoving all their mental disorders onto their faves cuz projection is fun, i propose a much more chaotic take on zuko joining the gaang wherein toph can NOT get a fuckin read on this guy and kind of wants him to just sit down and breathe for a second thanks, your heartrate is giving her a headache

#as with most of my ideas #time for jokes #the gaang ends up at a standstill cuz they really DO need a firebending teacher #but they cant fuckin tell if zuko is lying #at first they assume he's just like azula #but then toph's genuine concern for his heart health shuts that down #and so they begin opperation calm zuko the fuck down #which does not work at all #cuz the gaang suddenly switching from 'mm dont trust you' to 'hey lets do a spa day' is concerning to say the least #and then joke prompts aside #the angst potential if toph ever misinterprets anxiety as a lie #especially in the early days of zuko joining the gaang #things could go wrong pretty fast #is hyper anxious zuko pretty ooc? yeah #do i care? no #two versions of any character in my head #one is classic best efoort interpretation of canon #other is a free for all of headcanons and projection #both are valid and both are constantly pinging around in my head #you dont get to choose how i play with my dolls asgjfhdh #atla #zuko #toph #book three #insp

[crackbabycore]

why are people so so so weird about gay men

#I only recently for the first time began kinda shipping gay men and it's genuinely sooo weird in fandom sometimes #why do you act like that. #like why are you making one of them act overly fem when they don't have a fem bone in their body in canon. WHAT IS THAT. #I DON'T LIKE IT #people making LUFFY overly fem and Zoro this big buff man protecting his little princess 🥺 BE FUCKING FOR REAL #zolu

[gavin-reed-is-gay]

I don’t know if we’ll ever get a dbh sequel/dlc but if we did, the team behind it would be idiots to not make it centered on Gavin and Nines, given their popularity.

Frankly speaking, two characters who basically have squat in canon are two of the most popular characters in the fandom and their relationship is rivalling the most popular relationship not only in the game but in the fandom.

I mean, there’s TWO MOVIES DEDICATED TO THEM FOR GOODNESS SAKE.

Seriously, to not cash in on the shit would be so dumb.

#detroit: become human #dbh #reed900 #I’ll be honest #am I biased here cause I genuinely enjoy r9? #yes but logically speaking if they want a sequel to dbh to be just as popular as the first one #cash in on what is popular now #which is r9 #someone else said it before but the main characters stories have already been told #if a sequel/dlc were to be made this time it would be good to focus on the characters we didn’t see much of #and just because Gavin and Nines are popular in the fandom #doesn’t mean that we know anything about them in canon #mine #mine: texts #mine: dbh

[flashdoesahundredyarddash]

sorry guys... it's Carol and her fiancé Nathan and their bf Hal...

#at first the ship name of carol and nathan was cat bit then.. #one of my oomfs and best server ever... brought in Hal #Their name is #halcat #do you guys get my vision.. hal is the type to be jealous of what carol and nathan has going on but really he wants them to scoot over... #nathan business the great #since no canon name this is his name... #hal jordan #carol ferris #grabbing them like dolls and pushing them together #theyre kinda like ron reagan and brett from inside job btw #im nathans number one fan guys #i hope he genuinely gets good character even though we barely know him... #speedster ramble #speedster art #PLEASE DEAR GOD DONT MIND THE PROPORTIONS....I RUSHED UT

[castielinpastel]

seriously, why do people get so pressed when someone likes a queer ship or headcanons someone as queer? I genuinely don’t understand.

#unless the ship is extremely problematic or it’s illegal obviously #stranger things #stranger things 4 #I saw an elmax edit earlier and the people in the comments were so pressed #and I genuinely want to know why it’s okay to bash gay ships that aren’t canon but live laugh love straight ones??? #like please just let me ship things in peace #steddie #ronance #byler #elmax #henclair #destiel #blackhill #carolmaria #valcarol #thorbruce #lokius #there are many more. #I’m in a lot of fucking fandoms but these were the first ones I thought of

[rennymayflower]

currently obsessing over the fact that pyrare just gets consistently bullied by the other caretakers cus hes a giant SDFSDFDSFSD

#brittcorruption #pink corruption #jsab #tpc #theyre so mean to him i swear #its genuinely rly funny tho #why is bro a tent and a fucking christmas treE #granted pyrare is prob either offering to do these things bc funny or is just relatively chill with it canonically #but its funnier to imagine the caretakers are just like “Hey ur big so u gotta be like a tree or a tent or smth” #BUT LIKE LOOK AT HIS EXPRESSION ON THE FIRST ONE THO SDFSDFSDF

[mishapen-dear]

genuine question but is there any fandom where a character is well written by the majority. im thinking about fandom culture and the spread of frustration when people dont write characters well but. honestly in all the fandoms ive been in there's only like, a Select number of authors who i trust to write Well, let alone write Well AND In Character. character analysis and writing and getting inside characters' heads are all separate skills (all of which are trained by roleplaying fyi can CONFIRM playing pretend with your friends is good for you). there's been more than once where I've disagreed with an interpretation that others agreed with, and then I turned out wrong. or i turned out right. like it doesnt matter WHO is right it just matters that differences in character analysis exist, so even if you DO write well AND write in character, your in character is still going to be someone else's out of character

there's this sort of. vibe. that to play in the sandbox you Need to be able to make a castle, and if you can't make a castle then you shouldn't bother, and it completely dismisses the idea that youre in that sandbox to PLAY in the first place. there's this Weight of disappointing someone if you can't build something that they like, but that forgets that you aren't there to build them a castle. like, be KIND. if you disagree with someone then please make an effort to do so kindly. i dont give a shit about fandom discourse but there is a reason kids get removed from sandboxes if they keep throwing sand in people's eyes. but if they don't like your misshapen sand pile, then youre not obligated to change it. even if you yourself end up hating that same sand pile later- youre not building a legacy. youre playing. and sometimes the result of that play is out of character drivel. theres a reason there are so many authors and so few who i like to consistently read and thats because everyone is Fucking Around in their hobby space. hash tag brag or whatever but i can build castles. ive built several that im v proud of. ive also dug holes in the sand for fun and then tripped on them when trying to get up. I often dug a hole and then got up and fucking- whoops, its a castle now, and i didn't realize i'd made something to be proud of until after the fact. the whole time while creating shit i was Convinced it was bullshit that didn't make sense. and then other times i was Convinced it was bullshit and then i was Right and i can look back and go. huh. ew. but it doesn't matter what the end result was, because i had fun playing in the sandbox

this wasn't meant to turn into a ramble but i have Feelings about bad art and art that's badly perceived and how public perception can screw with your head and how making art youre proud of is fucking. it's so difficult!!! it's hard!! it's really fun, which is why i try to make it, but i promise you it is Okay to not tryhard creativity. even if you CAN, it's okay not to do it all the time. or ever, even. fuck around find out have fun etc

#NOT a discourse post i am musing out loud #there's discourse goign around the dash rn or i wouldnt mention it #but the past few weeks ive seen a lot of “DONT fucking mischaracterize my guy my fuckign god” #which is one of the most frustrating pet peeve there is #but i think a lot too about little baby me #fresh on her writing journey #and how discouraged i would be if someone pointed out the mistakes id made #i made a Lot of fuckups #and i also think about this one fic where one of the characters was INCREDIBLY out of character #me today would not be able to stomach reading it #but baby me was so ENCHANTED #and it introduced to me the concept that you dont always know the reason someone does something #and it made me read even more #and because of that i eventually found Expert Skill level fics #which introduced me to MANY little tricks and fidgets ive tried to implement #there were so so many reviews on that fic that called it shit or complained about the bad characterization #but a decade later i still think about it #there were several very corny mine/craft horror fics i read #which back in the day would be called cringe #and those were what inspired me to write my first horror fic and now im Enchanted by the whole genre #theres a lot of stuff i dont like to read but i like that other people are enjoying themselves #i dont know how to be succinct i hope my point is coming across well #this ties into my thing where fiction is for you first others later #here are my credentials: bb/h fan since before the elections (hi i was the guy who noticed his lack of armour post elections) #and a cross-fandom comment trend of people going 'woa i can see this happening in canon' #im not talking out my ass i genuinely think its more important to have fun than to write accurate characterization #which. is a more 'duh' and clarifying thing than everything else ive written #but ah well c'est la vie #also also just realized this could be interpreted like that- NOT an attack on people who complain about mischaracterization either lmao #i do that too w friends. this is to reassure people who put pressure on themselves to create things Well all the time

[s0up1ta]

OKAY FJRST. THE LITTLE DETAILS FROM THEIR CANON DESIGNS/YOUR PERSONAL DESIGNS BECAUSE THEY ARE CANON TO ME TO THE AU

not to be the chip guy but of course he comes first. chibos little beanie instead of the captains hat is SUCH a great touch !! the fact he still has his necklace and his long coat in a different more cover-up-slut approach makes me insaneeeee god he's so. Just like me frfr. you just drew me but if i had long hair and more bastard swagger that's so coolio bro what the freaksauce... ALSO keeping his belt and piercings make me to happy forever and ever but swagever ! Im normal ^_^ WAITTT also the "coverupslut" tits thing is really funny to me obviously he couldn't be walking around like that in the Real World because it's lame and doesn't support his transgender swagger but I really love how you kept his midriff and the teensiest tiniest little bit of a happy trail because he fucking WOULD wouldn't he. he WOULD fucking look like that. and !! speaking of speaking of that his black crop top thing works really well with both his style and his style of dancing which I think is so awesome sauce broski AND THE BLACK NAILS. THATS IMPORTANT can i get you to make something canon for me from one guy to another you're such a good friend and this isn't me buttering you up at all but on a totally separate note did you know you're hot and cool and all your art is amazing and you're talented and smart. could you make it so jay was the one to paint his nails and he complained forever and ever about it he wad so annoyed but he only complained more when the paint started chipping and he forced her to fix it. staring at you with autism eyes Btw

gillion design is so real forever and ever and I'm totally okay about it bro trust. absolutely LOVE the fact he kept his necklace too but instead it's framed as a gift from pretzel and made as a Kandi necklace :〕 it's so sick ANDDD THE WAY HE DRESSES !!! his baggy black tank-top and belt with the pants bro you Get It he fucking. Would look like that humanized wouldn't he. the bracelets and the also black nails (that. And Again, looking at you with begging and pleading autism eyes. jay probably had to act like she was just SO down to do and felt like it for funsies so she could teach pretzel when in reality chibo just begged her because he's a little bitch and really wanted to bond with gillion because he's an idiot and couldn't think of a better way. Also his paint was chipping and he was mildly annoyed) AND !! THE HAIRRRRR holy shit my friend tumblr user and mutual soup s0up1ta im losing my actual goddamn ever-loving mind over the way you drew his dyed hair it's so fucking pretty dude THE COLORRRRSSSSSS THE COLORS IM BEING POSSESED AND TAKEN AWAY. THE VIBRANCY SNATCHED MY SOUL AND GOT ME VAPORIZED LIKE IT WAS DAYBRINGER SOLOMON SAVE THE WORLD AND SUCK EACH OTHER VAMP4VAMP STYLE MY FINAL MESSAGE

Oh my god. And pretzel. soup im losing my fucking MINDDDDD over pretzel i know when you showed me the (theses aren't posted yet. i get to be in the Cool Exclusive Friend Club for. Asecond >:DDD) drawings of her with the biker helmet i lost my shit then but I need to lose it again. i lose that very frequently. The little patches in her jeans and clips in her messy hair and home-made bracelets covering every part of her body that they can and her big fluffy skirts that mimic her frogtopus arms that spread out and her overalls QND THAT ONE DRAWING. WHERE AHE IS PAINTING GILLIONS EYELINER ON IM. SOUP IM SHAKING YOU IM LOSING OT and also. Of course she would like bluey <3

Now onto the actual writing for just a second because I need to ramble on how well you fucking Captured the way it was written so perfectly because like. Holy fuck dude

Tigers being paired with you Definitely is the best possible outcome because you have created something for me to be Insane about. I could picture everything so vividly and i heard that one line where it was him going "I want you. I want you baby" and i just completely saw your drawing of them arms linked and extended and I lost my MINDD soup. spinning in circles and shimmying like a deep sea isopod ruffling up dirt on the seafloor look at me in my dead ass eye holes because i cannot express enough how much I love that. everything in this fic was pictured entirely in your style and I'm so fucking normal about that I promise. i LOVE seeing the little details you move from both cannon jrwi and your designs into the way they're drawing because, and I cannot stress this enough that this is a good thing, they all look like Them. normally with au's it's them slightly off or that's Them just in a different outfit but NOOO dude you got it so perfect. yeah that IS what they would look like that IS how they would dress and act and look and fucking DANCE bro 🗣🗣‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

and finally just wanted to say the writing is sosososo good forever and ever but that's exactly what I would expect from Tigers101 the fnc guy and chip kisser themself alright not surprised in the least. and with the art being as amazing at going with it not nearly surprised it's sof uckign awesome seeing you grow and get more talented as an artist because DUDE !!!!!! HOLY SHIT YOU HAVE GROWNNNN its so awesome man

anyway leave you with this image

because i saw the part where chibo blushed and I pictured him in your style and i nearly whisper-screamed faggot out loud before catching myself because I'm tired <3 thank you for being you and so rad and sweet forever and ever and making the sick ass cool ass shit that you do im sohyped and so happy everytime I get. A message or a tag from you because I KNOWWWWW it means I get something to feast apon and i love it so much. already said it once but it's so nice i say it twice suck each other vamp4vamp style and save da world. my final message

I AM FRAMING THIS AND HANGING IT ON MY WALL FOREVER THANK YOU SO MUCH DUDE AUDHJSJSJDKFBJS 😭😭💕💕💕

#designing them all was SO fun bro im really happy i was able to translate them well into a modern au :) #genuinely had a blast with the outfits and accessories and ESPECIALLY designing a human gill and pretzel #like keeping some of gill's features i got going on in my design like his nose and hair and the tattoos being the skin markings #AND PRETZEL AUFHHS #i wanted her hair to be like the tentacles and to translate that unhinged 8 year old energy (i would know- i have a sister who's nine) #like the first thing i thought of was ponyo and i ran with that #and the jewlery jehdjejrhjrhf the beaded bracelets and necklaces pretzel and gill wear #and chip's little axe earring being a little more subtle but There #also incredibly small detail but he's got a mole where his scar is in his canon design so thats neat #but YEAH working on this has been such a blast and you can SEE how much ive grown just in the span of the months this has been going on for #like the one with gill putting his hair up is one of the first ones i drew and the one with them dancing is the most recent one #im so happy with how this has turned out and very excited for you guys to see the upcoming chapters because WE'RE NOT DONE YET BOYS >:))) #genuinely such a cool thing ive been able to work on dude im really happy people like it :) #s0up1talks

[slyther-bi]

I keep listening to sad songs and I keep making myself cry invisioning heartbreaking scenes about Severus and his friends🥲🥲🥲

#Severus: WE WERE KIDS! WE WERE KIDS TOO!.....so why? why didn’t you save us? #In all my scenarios I keep imagining Severus saying this to Dumbledore 🥲 #Not only that I also invision Lucius having a picture taken of Severus - Mulciber - Avery & Evan laid in each corner of one bed #genuinely smiling for the first time in their lives and he frames it and has it on his desk in his study after they all die #the picture thing is part of a angst au idea I have in my head but imagining it in canon makes me sadder then the angst bullshit I imagine #Basically all these thoughts are just snip bits to go with the song #like an edit video but with more heartbreaking scenes than canon #shit post #random #random shit #my shit

[captainadwen]

Holy shit, Gundam witch from mercury has CANON space lesbians????? I thought it was the comments being shippy as usual Holy Shit

#witch from mercury #i nearly spat out my water over my laptop #i fumbles with mt bottle cap #nrwrly dropped the wayer bottle #holy duck #like the first ep/prologue left me genuinely speechless at end but that was like one particularly well done ending bit mostly #but like damn #canon space lesbians #from a giant space robots show????? #truly we live in an era #damn im sold i gotta finish watching now #its a good palete cleanser between demon slayer seasons

[piosplayhouse]

Me giving my hour long monologue about how trans lesbians jiang cheng x wen qing is the only form of the ship I'll consume

#i think its because jc would need to deal with too many neuroses before i think he would be good for wq #otherwise it just turns into an uncomfortable feedback loop where theyre forced into a weird dynamic of older sibling #with all the emotional responsibility and younger sibling who never learned how to deal with that . so a stalemate #anyway just pulling words in the tags before i sleep since i was thinking of it earlier but it really is so ? i guess weird to me how #normalized cq became after c ql s release and subsequent netflixification #because literally no one was shipping it before it was. Like its weird to me when people watch the show first and are like this shouldve #been canon in the book because like. idk . No LOL . sorry i dont mean to be mean im genuinely just fascinated #because when c ql initially aired everyone was making fun of or mad abt that plotline #like i can pull up tweets from back then but it was just a general state of disbelief like . why #of all the characters #so its interesting that its looped around to becoming accepted to the point where people project it backwards onto the source #which i have my hangups about but whatever s v doesnt even have a drama to change anything so i wont say shit #anyway goodnight thanks for indulging me as always buddies

[good-beanswrites]

Hello! I really really really love your writting, I just got into Milgram and yours is my favourite in the fandom!! I love how much depth and nuance you manage to fit into short stories and your characterization is on point! (Specially for Kazui, but I might be biased since I love him so much)

I'm not sure if you're still taking requests (if you're not, feel free to ignore!), but if you are I wanted to request Tears + Kazui

(I thought about maybe the old man finally having a moment where the mask falls? When keeping up the image he's built gets tiring, how does he deal with it, and is he by himself or is there someone nearby? Then again, just an ideia, have fun and take your time!!!)

Woo welcome to the fandom! And thank you so much omg, that's so kind!! ;--; I really like that concept -- I definitely think he'd only allow himself a break from the masks when he's completely alone, and even then it'd be hard to draw out of him, so I went for an unexpected release and even more unexpected company... (Haruka :3)

Kazui woke from a dream, immediately unable to stop his eyes from brimming with tears. It hadn’t been a nightmare. It hadn’t shown him broken glass, or blood, or screaming. He hadn’t faced another night staring into Hinako’s twisted expression. No, the dream was wonderful. He was happy. He was in love. He was just… himself. As he rolled over in his sheets, he couldn’t tell if it was the longing that made him cry, or the guilt of longing so deeply for something like that.

It was easier, there in the dark. He didn’t have to keep his cheeks raised in a pleasant look. He didn’t have to hold his chin high. He could hug his arms around himself, not worry about all those eyes on him, and cry for the life he would never have.

He’d kept the thoughts at bay for so long, there was something equally painful and relieving about facing them head-on. The more his body shook with sobs, the better he felt about the weight he’d been carrying on his shoulders. The more he thought about who he was, the worse he felt about being doomed in this life. As always, he was split in two.

“K-Kazui?” 

His stomach clenched in both shock and shame. He kept his face away from the cell bars. He coughed, though it did little to hide the thickness in his voice when he spoke. “Haruka? What are you doing out there?”

“Ah, um! I’m sorry! I was just getting s-some water.”

Kazui desperately scrambled for any kind of excuse to explain the sorry state he was in. Haruka continued, though. 

“It’s- it’s okay if you’re crying.”

His throat squeezed. How pathetic he must be, for a kid like Haruka to try and comfort him.

“No, no. I’m alright.”

“I cry in my cell all the time. And Muu comes in so we can talk. I feel m-much better after that.” His feet shuffled outside. “Do you… uh… do you want to talk? I’m not as smart as Muu, b-but it might help.”

Kazui kept his pained smile hidden. It was an incredibly kind gesture, to be sure, but the boy would never understand. He could open up about everything that had happened in the past forty years, and there was no way Haruka would understand a bit of it.

It was easy to dodge the question. When under the spotlight, he’d found it was helpful to place the attention on someone else. “What do you talk to Muu about?”

“Uh! Well.” There was more shuffling, and Kazui realized he was coming to sit right next to the cell. He hadn’t meant it as an invitation to stay... 

He rolled onto his back, hoping his face was still obscured in the shadows of the panopticon.

“I usually cry because… I’m not like everyone else.” Haruka said. “I don’t-don’t know why. I don’t know why everyone else can be normal and I j-just can’t. I try so hard. I try so hard. If I could be like them, m-maybe my mom would’ve loved me. M-maybe she wouldn’t think I was broken all the time. M-maybe,” he got quiet, “no one would have died.”

Kazui stared up at the ceiling. A few more tears slipped down his face. It looked like an old man like him could still be wrong, now and then. “And… what does Muu tell you, to comfort you?”

“Oh, she tells me lots of nice things. Mostly that she loves me very much.” Kazui could hear the smile in his voice. “And she also says that… that it wasn’t my fault. That there’s nothing wrong with being me. That we can’t be anyone d-different, even if we want to more than anything in the whole wide world. She says, she says people were mean to her too, just because of who she was.”

“Yeah?” The younger prisoners had avoided someone as intimidating as him, so he never heard much about Muu’s reason for being here. 

“Mhm. She said they would say all these awful things, b-because there was this one girl in her class, and… and, well… things were…” Haruka stopped. “Ah! I didn’t mean to make you cry again! I’m s-so sorry…”

Kazui sucked in a shaking breath. “No, I’m sorry you have to hear all this from me. It’s good, though. It’s really good.” 

“O-oh…?”

“I just realized, I’m a lot like that too.” 

Kazui didn’t know what possessed him to continue. He’d been hiding things for so long, he thought he’d be better at keeping it in. It must have been something about the darkness of the hour, and Haruka’s complete innocence, and the dream that still lingered around heart. 

“When I was her age, there was someone in my class like that. He was… well, I’m sure you know. My parents also said I was in need of fixing. I’m sorry you had to go through that too.”

Haruka let out a small sound of acknowledgement.

“You should head to bed, now. It’s late.”

“R-right. Sorry, again!”

“Don’t be. I think I needed this.”

Once Haruka’s footsteps had rounded the panopticon, Kazui brought his arm up to cover his eyes. He knew he had plenty of blood on his hands for what he’d done. This was his fault. But regarding who he was…

A sound rocked through his chest, something between a sob and a laugh. It was nice to think there was nothing wrong with that, after all.

#milgram #kazui mukuhara #haruka sakurai #wahh thank you so much :D that made my day to hear!! and this request was so cool to think about #(i read the translation day one but) this motivated me to actually listen to his new vd because i we finally hear some emotion from him ;-; #it made me just as sad as i was expecting adfsdf ;---; #i kept trying to write him opening up to someone willingly but it just wouldnt work #(i mean he IS on trial for murder and begging for es to reveal the truth but he still cant say it himself) #so i think itd take someone else opening up first -- once he sees theyre genuinely putting themselves out there for him #hed be able to reciprocate and talk/show his emotions #i know muu/rei isnt canon but even a misunderstanding about it would be important to him #<- made herself sad realizing so much of the cast has been treated as broken or like their true selves werent good enough #but yeah it was really interesting seeing how much overlap kazui and haruka had! #ive got another kazui thing coming today/tomorrow -- now go vote this sad wet cat innocent he fuckin needs it👏 #drabbles