#the impulse for me to say that I am just itty bitty

[hollyhomburg]

How tall are you?

I am 161cm or 5 foot 3!

#the impulse for me to say that I am just itty bitty #just tiny! no size! just made for hanging out in teacups and pockets

[katsukidynam1ght]

KATS RANT TIME PART 2

forgive my formatting i have no memory of how i did part one and it is too late for me to care at all

big trigger warning on discussion of abuse and violence for this one! read at your own risk. this has a lot of potential to be upsetting especially because it’s late and i’m struggling to express things as neatly as i usually try to.

today’s topic: some of you are way too sensitive when it comes to physical violence

“kats this is a touchy topic. abuse isn’t okay ever” you are absolutely correct! abuse in any form is never okay and i do not condone it. do not hurt other people. just don’t.

but not everything is abuse.

try to understand what i’m saying here because it’s late and i’m tired but this is important stuff.

society is conditioning everyone to believe that any kind of physical act is abuse and honestly? no the fuck it isn’t. prolonged violence would be, yes. extreme violence would be, yes. if it is done to be abusive and cause harm, if it is done intentionally with that in mind, yes. if it is repetitive and unrepentant, yes!

(i am not saying violence as a whole is okay either do not take that away from this. violence is not okay but sometimes people are impulsive or haven’t been taught. that doesn’t make it okay, but it makes them human. you gotta cut people slack when it counts. that said: do not let yourself or the people you love be mistreated and if you recognize a situation then do what you can to remedy it.)

but look. (and oh, kats, baby, they’re gonna hate you for this one—) i got spankings growing up. yeah yeah, “you didn’t turn out fine kats look at you” but that wasn’t the spankings, i promise. my mom or dad swatting me on the ass two or three times did not give me Psychological Damage.

(granted: i have good parents who love me a great deal and take care of my needs. their discipline was not excessive and only enacted when necessary, and this is the kind of physical behavior i am referring to — i am not talking about parents who use discipline as an excuse to abuse their children. i am not saying spankings will never damage a kid’s brain. everyone’s different. my point is merely that something like what my parents did to discipline me does not qualify as abusive treatment.)

or how’s this — my brother and i have beat up on each other a bit throughout the years. once when we were preteens i pinned him down and smacked him with a pair of dirty socks that he threw at me. once when we were teenagers i stuck my tongue out at him and he smacked me hard enough my ear rang. once when we were itty bitty kids we got in a fight and he bit my shoulder so hard it bruised.

(and one time he accidentally cut the inside of my lip with a wooden stake. i still find this too impressive to be upset about tbh)

kids beat on each other. they do that. so long as you teach them “hey, that’s not okay, don’t do that” it’s cool! sometimes it’s roughhousing-turned-violent and sometimes you just gotta get the anger out somehow and it’s better to direct it at someone who’s stuck to you by blood as opposed to literally anyone else.

and that’s not abuse. (again, yeah, i got it. it absolutely can be. i’m not talking about when it is. please understand that and cut me some slack.)

so often in so many different fandoms, people get really hung up on the way characters interact with each other, and they get Really Hung Up on the violence. and i get it! violence isn’t okay and really people need to cope better.

but you have Got to put the characters in the context of their story.

we’re talking about teenagers — hormonal pubescent teenagers who are still learning to get a fucking grip and going through intensely traumatic experiences on a regular basis! they’re also training to be heroes, which, yeah, is a pretty violent field! there are going to be times where they will want to hit or kick or spit or scratch and It Is What It Is. they get disciplined when they go too far and they control themselves pretty much all the time. (and no i am not saying violence is ever excusable. if that’s your takeaway from this you’re wrong and i will probably block you out of annoyance. violence is not excusable, but it isn’t inherently worthy of the fandom’s wrath.)

so you have to think about it within the context. you can’t apply real-world standards of “acceptable” violence. (oh dear me that is barely coherent. forgive pls)

some things are very obviously abusive and not okay: take kotaro shimura’s treatment of tenko, or endeavor’s treatment of rei and shouto. those are not okay. those are abusive.

(this is absolutely not the time to say this because i’m sure plenty of people are annoyed already But! ayo i am Here for endeavor redemption. psa that you don’t have to let your abusers back into your life but it is okay and healthy for you to forgive them and let them become better people without you! abusers are in fact allowed to make progress. and that’s a good thing because we don’t want them hurting anyone else isn’t that right <3 i will not let those people back in my life but i hope they are able to become the people i wish they were when i knew them.)

but okay back to the teenager thing. like this — i don’t like monoma. he annoys the shit out of me and i really just want to punch him sometimes. but kendo smacks his head a lot to knock him down and shut him up.

and y’know what? i don’t see any fucking person claiming that’s abuse.

now — that’s either because they recognize “well, that’s not abusive. it might be a little mean, but that doesn’t constitute abuse” or because she’s a girl, and i hope it’s the former and not the latter. that’d be even more obnoxious.

so if you can do it in those circumstances, why’s it hard to do in other areas? why’s it so hard to look at a character and go “man, that’s shitty behavior, but it’s not really abuse and it doesn’t make them a bad person”? because it doesn’t feel that hard to me, but hey! i’m just kats and what do i know.

(now again: small physical acts can escalate into bigger violent and abusive behaviors. mind your red flags and don’t let anyone treat you badly.)

i’m not saying this from a standpoint of “oh kats but the only people who have ever been physical with you are people you love” not true! i am saying this from a standpoint of “i have experienced things that are physical abuse and also things that are not physical abuse”! so i do have at least a little understanding of what i am talking about.

“kats your objective contextual view of this subject is really annoying” thank you babydoll i understand viewing things inside of their context frustrates the real world application but at the end of the day it is a work of fiction and you cannot expect me to use real world standards on fictional world violence. blowing you a kiss for your troubles <3

gist is: not every small act of violence is abuse and holy hell some people really need to get a grip on what qualifies as abuse.

(babydoll i can even argue that my favs choking each other out doesn’t count as abuse given the circumstances. all about character pov and perception and as a writer those are skills i am required to have.)

anyways. you can’t be a “violence isn’t the answer. it’s the question and the answer is yes” person while still claiming every act of violence is abuse. or whatever. it’s late as fuck i want to sleep

rant over don’t hurt people even if it’s not abuse it’s not okay thanks goodnight

#kats rants #bnha #mha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #please do not argue with me on this post i do not have the capacity to care #if you argue with me on this post you’re giving me permission to be a dick to you #<- that’s from a prev post but still so true of me #i’m trying so hard not to let this rant get seen because i just know someone’s going to want to bite me for it

[kstewdeux]

InuKag Week 2020: June 12th (Instinct)

@inukag-week

Fetch

Amber eyes watched the hypnotic movements of the pencil as Kagome let it sway back and forth in her fingers. Dangling in the air in a rhythmic dance while her nose was stuck in her book. It was strange. He’d never been so fascinated by that instrument before. Usually the sound of it scratching the paper drove him crazy and he hated when Kagome asked him to sharpen the end with his claws.

But right now it was all he could think about.

And he wanted her to throw it. Every fiber of his being screamed with an almost overwhelming desire to see that blunt instrument soar through the air and land a fair distance away. He didn’t know why he wanted that so badly and honestly, he didn’t care. It just needed to happen. It needed to happen now.

“Inuyasha,” Kagome’s voice vaguely registered in his mind before she experimentally lifted the pencil up and down a few times – highly dilated amber eyes following its every move. With each motion, his heart beat a little faster. This was agony. Why couldn’t she just chuck the damn thing already? He was dying here!

“Fetch?” she asked and he whined in frustration before grinning when she threw the pencil as hard as she could. Next thing he knew he was moving, rushing forward, and landing with a soft thud in front of the chucked wooden stick with a silly smile on his face. Quickly clutching it in his hand, he rushed back and presented the pencil with a proud little grin before he blinked a few times and furiously shook his head.

“Wait, shit, why did I…” Inuyasha breathed in mild horror before nervous amber met adoring blue, “I…I...I didn’t…”

“Why are you upset?” Kagome hummed happily as she reached up and scratched the base of one ear, “Because you wanted to chase a stick?”

Inuyasha seemed to look even more nervous and dare she think a little heartbroken.

“I’m not a dog,” he blurted and Kagome wrinkled her nose.

“No duh. I know you’re not,” she teased as she returned to her book, “I can throw it again if you want. It’s okay to have fun, Inuyasha. That’s not a crime.”

That response didn’t sit well with him. It wasn’t about having fun or not. Whatever just happened caused his higher reasoning to vanish. His impulse control to vanish. Every sense he possessed hyper focused and of one mind. Over a stupid pencil! This was so much worse than the time on the beach. So different. Yeah he’d chased the stick then but he hadn’t been sitting there memorized like an idiot cat.

And then Kagome not so innocently fanned the flames of his mindless behavior by saying....

Amber eyes narrowed and a jaw was set.

“You told me to fetch,” he accused as he sat crossed legged in front of her, “Like a dog.”

“You were looking like you wanted me to throw it. I was teasing,” Kagome sighed as she marked the page and lowered the book onto her lap, “Besides you are part dog demon. Its okay if you sometimes want to chase things. Its really cute honestly.”

“Cute,” Inuyasha repeated numbly, “You think when…when I do dog things its cute?”

Kagome took a breath and opened her mouth to speak when he cut her off.

“Is that how you see me?” he hissed as insecurity clouded his judgment, “Is that all I am to you? Some fucking lap dog?”

“Of course not. I see you as Inuyasha,” the miko replied in a confused tone, “Besides, if you were a dog, you’d be like a German Shepard or Rottweilier. Not an itty bitty lap dog. Have you seen those?”

“What in the modern...that’s not the point! You told me to fetch,” he huffed as he gave her a withering glare.

“Okay I’m sorry I told you to fetch,” Kagome groaned and Inuyasha had to consciously fight back the sudden urge to check if she threw something. This was hell.

“Don’t use that word anymore. I’m not a fucking dog,” he demanded - hoping his anger would prevent future utterances of that strangely hypnotic word.

“I think thou doth protest too much,” Kagome teased good naturedly, “I told you how I see you and you clearly have some issue with that. Do you want me to see you as a dog?”

“No!”

“Then why are you harping on this?” Kagome sighed heavily before her expression shifted and she sent have him a curious once over, “How do you want me to see you then? Because the way you’re talking it’s like you don’t want me to see you as Inuyasha.”

Starting slightly at the question, Inuyasha was the one to gape for lack of words. What did she mean by that? Of course he wanted...

Stupid woman confusing him on purpose.

“Which way do I want you to see me?” he asked with purposeful emphasis and she nodded. Holy shit she was genuinely curious. She wanted an actual answer. Swallowing thickly, he averted his eyes and shrugged.

“As a friend I guess...,” he cleared his throat before he tried to pluck up his courage given the opportunity to maybe push things in the desired direction, “Or maybe…maybe like…like someone you might…one day, ya know…”

His extremely limited courage faltered as he trailed off and huffed in frustration.

“Just a friend,” he amended lamely, “An equal.”

“What do you mean someone I might one day, ya know?” Kagome teased – completely missing what he was going to say. He wanted to say he wanted her to look at him like he was a potential partner. Of the romantic variety but chickened out. Yes, she sometimes acted like she might be interested but when he tried to feel her out, she usually got upset over something random and he’d eat dirt. And he tried to be romantic, okay? He provided for her and stood close to her and...and all sorts of things but she never seemed interested. Then again her time was different. Maybe people were more direct. There was also the possibility she was just completely oblivious or worse...not interested at all.

“Are you really that dumb?!,” he snapped angrily– reverting to his usual way of handling insecurity, “Sorry you’re too stupid to figure it out.”

Blinking rapidly, Kagome tried to figure out this sudden mood swing before rolling her eyes and sighing when he stormed off. So what if he occasionally wanted to play fetch? That wasn’t the end of the world. Sometimes she got random impulses too. That didn’t mean…

Wait….

Maybe it wasn’t a matter of wanting to play fetch so much as he felt a compulsion to play fetch. Some dormant instinct kicking in and he couldn’t control himself. That would explain why he seemed upset and confused. Why he’d been so adamant about the fact that he wasn’t a dog. He literally couldn’t control what he’d done.

And he was afraid she’d see him as a dog because he wanted her to…

Inhaling sharply, Kagome finally realized what he had tried to say. Setting her book down, she was up on her feet and running before she could stop herself.

“Inuyasha!” she called out and she saw him turn to face her with a somewhat dejected expression. An expression that quickly turned to alarm when he realized she had no intention of stopping.

“Wait, wait, slow…” the half-demon tried before she glomped him and pressed a long, lingering kiss on his lips. When she finally pulled back, amber eyes were looking at her with a mixture of longing and alarm.

“What the fuck…” he breathed as he tried to steady himself and balance the still clinging Kagome, “Why?”

“Maybe I want you to see me as someone you might one day, ya know…” she cooed and Inuyasha’s heart melted. She wasn’t so stupid after all.

Well thank god for that because he probably would’ve need at least another month to recover from the shame of chasing the pencil before trying to feel her out again.

“Really?” he asked with no lack of awe before nuzzling her cheek and teasing, “That doesn’t mean you go jumping on people.”

“I couldn’t help myself. You’re just so jumpable,” Kagome laughed before leaning down to kiss him again. Humming, he eagerly returned the favor all while thanking every god that existed his instincts decided to come out to play.

#inukag-week #inuyasha #kagome #inukag #inukag fanfic #kstewdeux

[torisfeather]

Flufftober 4 - Fake Dating

Prompt by @vex-bittys

Read it on fanfiction.net or AO3

-----------------------------------------

Wooh, this one was not easy, but I managed to finish in time! It's the first time I'm writing fake dating, so I don't know if I did okay ^^'

Anyway, this one is Roman, Remus, Patton and Logan. So... Intruloroyality? I don't know at this point XD

-----------------------------------------

Okay, you've got this, Roman thought, that night, at the dinner table, and showed his best smile for his grandma.

He felt so awful, and it felt like everyone at the table could tell how uncomfortable he was. He couldn't even look at his brother or their friends, Patton and Logan, for too long.

Which was bad, because he was supposed to be Patton's boyfriend.

It had started maybe a month ago. When their obnoxious homophobic aunt Beth had tried to introduce them to yet another girl she knew – a coworker's daughter, or cousin, or sister, it didn't matter.

At that point, Roman almost believed she had selective deafness. He and Remus had told her, over and over again, that they were gay, didn't want to meet girls, especially not when she was planning dates for them. Aunt Beth was still 100% convinced this was just a phase and that they could be "fixed".

So when she brought another miss-what's-her-name to their place without their consent, Remus had cracked and yelled: "You can't stay because we're having a gay orgy with our boyfriends tonight!"

Roman had honestly thought that would be enough. Surely their aunt wasn't around his brother enough to be used to the gross nonsense he blabbered all the time.

But it hadn't deterred her. The orgy part, at least, she realized was just a joke. "You don't have boyfriends," she had said, her chin raised in contempt. "I would have known already! You're single and you can give a chance to Natalia here."

"No offense, miss," Roman had said at the lady, who just nodded, looked quite bored. "We are not single. We're dating… uh…"

"Logan and Patton!" Remus panicked.

"Uh, yeah! You know, our classmates?"

"I thought you said they were dating each other?" Aunt Beth said, suspicious.

"No, we said they were dating us! Have you had your hearing checked, Auntie?" Remus asked, and cackled when Aunt Beth gasped in outrage. "What if a bee got inside your ear and started making a nest inside your skull, and that's why you never hear us?"

"Well, I hope you're happy for wasting such a nice girl's time!" she had cried, and promptly vacated the place, followed by the girl.

The twins had high-fived each other and then the rest of the night was spent arguing over what movie they were going to watch to celebrate.

But it couldn't be that simple, right?

Because the twin's mother was very close to Aunt Beth, and so had questioned her sons when she heard about their "boyfriends". Roman and Remus's mom was way more tolerant than her relative, but she was also a gossiper and she couldn't know it was a lie, or she's rat them out immediately. So the twins told her the exact same lie.

Their mother of course told all of her side of the family, as well as their father, who told his side of the family, and now all of their relatives thought they were dating their childhood friends.

So that wasn't ideal, and Roman thought of coming clean, or at least "breaking up", but Remus won him over arguing as long as they believed that, their aunt and any other relatives would stop trying to set them up with people. Which, honestly? Worth it.

And then winter break happened.

Every winter break, the twins and their parents would fly a couple states north, where their grandparents lived, and spend the holidays there with the rest of their family. And it was always expected from the younger people to bring any significant other at least once during that time.

They could have said Logan and Patton were too busy or had other plans, but the twins' grandparents were so adamant they contacted Logan and Patton's own parents to ask for them to join the family reunion, and not knowing anything about the situation, they all agreed on one week.

When they told Logan and Patton what the whole deal was, they were surprisingly calm about it. Logan, especially, thought this was one solution. Patton, of course, bless his little heart, wanted to come clean and apologize, but after Remus begged him not to unleash their aunt on them again, he took pity and agreed.

So Patton would pretend to be Remus's boyfriend, and Logan would act as Roman's. What could go wrong?

Several things, actually. Starting with everyone's ability to act. Roman, of course, was fine on that part. He was a theater kid and he knew what romance looked like. Patton was also pretty good at being all lovey-dovey, except he tended to look nervously at Logan whenever Remus tried something, because he was scared of Logan being jealous.

And Remus tried a LOT. He was a pervert pretending to romance a grey-asexual. And it showed.

As for Logan, well, he wasn't uncomfortable with Roman's flirting, but…

"Roman, your existence is greatly appreciated."

… He was the WORST actor Roman had ever met.

Okay, fine! It was fine! Their relatives were all kind of dumb anyway. The twins' parents didn't notice anything during the trip, and so far it seemed the charade was working.

Except, as days went by, another problem arose.

Roman had probably flirted a little too much. Or maybe it was all the time spent together. Or maybe it was from sleeping in the same bed.

In any case, he had started crushing on Logan.

Okay, not just on Logan. Patton too.

Which was a big no-no. No, you don't get a crush on childhood friends who are already dating each other. Especially in a situation where they are away from home, and thus already vulnerable and/or uncomfortable.

But he couldn't help it. To be fair, he had always been very close with the two. Just not that close. Not enough to notice how cute Patton's sleepy bed-head was, or how gentle Logan was when he was hesitant or stressed, or how warm Patton was when he was hugging him in the morning, or how hot Logan was with his glasses off.

Now he couldn't look at them without thinking "what if", and feeling itty-bitty butterflies in his tummy.

And he was certain everyone in the house could tell. And that was not how he was supposed to act right now.

So he kept his head low, trying not to draw attention to himself, which was very unlike him. And that night, at the dinner table, the boys had had enough.

"I apologize for interrupting, but I believe I have misplaced my phone and I am waiting for a very important call. May I leave the table?"

"Oh, of course Logan," their grandmother had said.

Logan stood and looked at Roman. "Would you mind helping me, Roman?"

"Uh…"

"Come on, you two hurry up, okay?" his cousin said.

Logan grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the corridor and up the stairs. Once they were out of hearing distance, he stopped and turned to Roman. "Now, please tell me what is bothering you."

"What? Nothing! I'm great, let's go look for your stupid phone…"

"Roman, in the past two days you have displayed an increase in signs of stress, you are not doing 'great'. And also, the phone thing was a falsehood."

Roman rolled his eyes. "Logan, just because you took a psychology class doesn't allow you to analyze me, and for the last time, I am okay. Now let's go back."

"I don't think that's right…" Patton's voice said from behind him.

Roman turned around and grimaced as Patton and Remus joined them. "Guys, seriously, you're making a big deal out of nothing!"

"Hey, I didn't say anything!" Remus argued. "You do look like you stuck a lightbulb up your ass and you're scared of it breaking at any point and turning your insides into a bloody purée, though."

"Great, super helpful bro…" Roman sighed. They were all looking at him, and they couldn't spend too much time or someone would come find them, and he couldn't tell them or he'd just make everyone feel bad, and it was all too much. He angrily ran his hands in his hair, pulling a couple time, closing his eyes. What the fuck was he supposed to do?!

"Okay, okay, let's calm down first…" Patton said, and now his hands were on his arms, and he was being so gentle. Roman let the others guide him into the closest room and sit him on the bed. "Now, it's okay Roman, you can tell us…"

"No…" he said stubbornly.

"Roman, we will love you no matter what the problem is, you can trust us!" Patton insisted.

"I promise, it's if funny, I will only tease you about it for two weeks!... Maybe a month."

"Remus, please! Roman, I promise it's safe to tell us."

"And, if I may add," Logan said, "we will help with the best of our abilities if at all possible."

Roman grabbed the pillow next to him and screamed as hard as he could into it. Eventually, it made him feel calm enough to look up at all the worried faces around him. He muttered something into his pillow.

"Ah, sorry, can you repeat that?" Patton asked.

"… I'm crushing on you and Logan. There, I said it, happy?"

Logan and Patton were agape for a moment, but Remus just shrugged. "Pff, me too, you're not special."

"What?"

"Bro, have you seen Logan's bare chest? He looks like a nerdy Edward Cullen. And Patton is the best cuddler in the world."

"How the fuck can you be so calm about this?!"

"It's just feelings, nobody's dead yet!"

"Yet?!"

"Okay, time out!" Logan asked, clapping his hands like a preschool teacher. "I think we need to assess the situation step by step…"

And then he stopped, because Patton was kissing Roman with all of his uncontrolled impulse. Remus cheered and kissed Logan, and for about two minutes there were nothing but kissing noises and sighs in the small room.

"So, um, does that mean you guys also…" Roman started, when his mouth was free again.

"For literal months," Logan admitted.

"That's so much time we have to make up for!" Remus cried.

"Agreed," Patton said, blushing. "We, um… We should go back, everyone's still waiting."

Roman's eyes widened and he fell back on the bed dramatically, hiding his face in his hands. "How the fuck are we going to tell them?!"

#flufftober 2020 #fake dating #fanfiction #sanders sides #ts roman #ts remus #ts patton #ts logan #fluff #tw homophobia #polyship

[gottawriteanegoortwo]

Dark - Intrusive Thoughts

An event that has T.homas San.ders and M.ark Fis.chbach in the same room leads to an encounter that could be dangerous. As a reluctant guardian that is struggling to keep out of character, Dark finds himself facing someone who may be more of a threat than he initially thought.

Word Count: 2,642

Tw: Remus Sanders, Intrusive Thoughts, Suggestions of murder and other acts of violence, mention of sexual interest through flirting.

-

A big event was taking place in the city. Various do-gooders from across the country were invited for the weekend. Naturally, Mark was invited, but Dark was wary of it. After all, an event as large as that could draw the Actor like a moth to a flame, and then what?

“If you're so worried, then come with me and Amy. You can hide in the shadows and make sure nothing happens.”

That was what Mark had told him, and that was why Dark was hiding in the other's shadow. He hated resorting to this, but he had to be sure no one else got tangled up in this twisted 'story’.

The formal night was a drain on Dark. Even if Mark and Amy were lucky enough to sit beside a bright young man called Thomas, it didn't do much to distract him. Instead, the thoughts began to whisper again within ten minutes of the group sitting down to look at the menus.

You're only doing this out of guilt.

It would be so easy to just take Mark's body now and get it over with.

Come on, what are you waiting for! He's right there! You don’t want the Actor to get him, so why not take what’s yours?

“- but then Chica bounded over and -” Both Amy and Thomas threw Mark worried looks as a heavy shiver ran down his spine. He felt two taps on his right shoulder - Dark's sign of briefly dismissing himself. Mark glanced behind him to see something ripple across the floor, but insisted to the others that he was fine.

-

In a small room just off the corridor to the function room, Dark stumbled against a table. The thoughts were getting louder and he needed to leave the main area before he submitted and acted on them. He knew he would, and that was the part that scared whatever scrap of humanity he had left. There was proof of him acting out, showing that he was truly the ‘villain’ in the story when he didn’t want to be. It wasn’t fair! He didn’t want these thoughts in his head, not when he was so stressed and frustrated that they actually sounded like good ideas. He had sworn to keep Mark out of trouble, and lashing out at an event like this would do the exact opposite of that.

“Well now, this is a surprise, Thomas. Didn’t think you were one to call for a dark side~ Weird set-up you got this time.” 

A voice pulled Dark back to the present, and he sharply turned his head to look at the intruder.

It was a man of average height and build. He was dressed in black royal garments, with a sash and details in lime-green. A morningstar was being dragged casually behind him as he examined the surroundings of the tiny room. His hair was haphazard, like he rolled out of bed, with some large silver streaks on the upturned fringe. His eyes were wide and sunken in, their erratic implication emphasised by how they darted around. He even had a brown moustache that wanted to curl at the tips. In a way, that reminded Dark of Wilford, which meant this could likely anger him further.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, but you have the wrong person.” Dark made sure to respond in a slow manner to hopefully disguise his current mood. “I would appreciate it if you left me alone.” At last, the wild prince twirled around on one foot to face him. He tilted his head to the right with a squint, then to the left with a scrunched-up expression; before finally straightening it with a raised eyebrow.

“You’re looking a little peculiar today, Thomas. Hallowe’en already?”

“I’m not Thomas.”

That immediate counter made the stranger squint again. At last, the pieces clicked into place as his face relaxed into a smile. He took a step forward. Dark took a step back. This was noted by the other.

“Well now, this is certainly a strange and exciting experience. I thought the only ones I could talk to were Thomas and the other Sides. But you… Well, you’re quite the handsome devil, aren’t you? You’re a lucky man. I’m rather attracted to men in suits. Makes them look even hotter than anything else… Aside from their birthday suit, of course!” The stranger twirled the morningstar like it was a baton as he giggled with a knowing smirk. “So, who are you and why did you call me up? I’m sure I can stick around for a little while~”

“I didn’t ‘call’ you.” Dark was starting to feel uncomfortable. Not only was this man acting in such a crude manner, those thoughts in his mind were moving to the forefront. Whoever this was, he wasn’t helping. “Who are you, and what are you doing here?”

“Hey, I asked those questions first, cutie.” The stranger gave a childish pout, complete with hands on his hips. “Friends call me the Duke, but you can call me Remus. I’m afraid I don’t quite know why I’m here yet. I’ve never had the chance to meet such a dashing stranger that doesn’t have the same face as me.”

“Same face…” Dark repeated the words in a murmur, before realisation hit. “I didn’t know Thomas had Egos.”

“Oh, no no no. We’re ‘Sides’. If you were to take a giant hammer and smash his head open like a coconut all the Sides would come flying out like itty bitty jigsaw pieces! We make Thomas, well, Thomas!” The comparison wasn’t exactly a comforting thought to Dark, but Remus didn’t seem to notice. “So what can I call you? I’d be happy to call you ‘Sir’, or ‘Cutie with the Booty’, or even ‘Handsome Stranger I Would Fuc-”

“Dark. You can call me Dark.” Cutting over the other only served to add to his sour mood. Somehow, this imbecile was worse than Wilford. “I am not in the mood for company right now, so I would like you to leave before you make me do something I may regret.” Remus blinked several times in response to this. His expression quickly shifted to curiosity as he approached with a tip-toe that was almost cartoonish. Once close enough - but not too close - the Side stared deep into the entity’s eyes in a way that was quite unnerving. Was the other trying to read his mind, or simply trying to test Dark’s patience?

Before Dark could question it, Remus spoke in an unnaturally calm tone.

“Your mind is clouded, isn’t it? I can see it from the way you shift your eyes. There’s something troubling that pretty head of yours. It’s so bad, you reached out silently for help, but you didn’t call the ‘light’ Sides. Why would you call me over them, since they’re the ones Thomas favours…?” With a slow blink, Remus let his free hand brush across his lips in thought. As a darker side, Remus was never given the opportunity to help examine and solve a problem Thomas had - at least, not since the days before he and Roman were ‘born’, but those days were far too fuzzy and distant. So what could be the issue?

Wait.

“You’ve had thoughts, haven’t you?” It was asked in a low purr as Remus moved a little closer. “Is that why you’re in this little room instead of out at the party? Your mind started wandering and reminded you of thoughts you’ve tried so very hard to ignore?” He paused, a grin spreading as he noticed the hint of surprise Dark tried to hide. “Ooh, I’m right. I love when that happens! Now, I wonder what such a handsome devil as yourself would be thinking about. This is so much harder when you aren’t Thomas.”

“Can you step back? You’re in my personal space.” The close proximity of the pair was not helping Dark at all, especially when Remus was correct.

“Shhh, let me have this moment.” Ignoring the other’s request, Remus lifted the morningstar and gently pressed it against Dark’s chest. It was used to gradually push the entity back until he was sitting in a chair. “Remember I said I was a piece of Thomas? I’m his creativity. I share the job with my twin brother. But I get to work with all the juicy stuff, and I think you’re keeping a part of yourself locked away. Why does everyone do that? It makes everything so boring!” There was another huff from the Duke as he carefully tapped Dark with his beloved weapon.

“So let’s see, what sort of thoughts would you be hiding away? I bet they’re really neat ones too. Like… Kidnapping one of your friends and toppling that bookcase on them. Or taking advantage of a quiet moment to steal the final breath out of a stranger.” Another pause. Remus noticed the way Dark’s eyes dropped. “You’ve done that. You’ve actually killed someone. Why aren’t I in your head? You’d actually listen to me~”

“I don’t want to listen to those thoughts! I don’t want to be the monster that everyone imagines me to be!” Before Remus could counter, Dark’s lights flared up. “And no, I am not that. I never was. I am someone who is being turned into something I never was because they decided it. What you’re trying to discover are things that have infected my mind and are trying to corrupt me.”

“Oh, don’t say that, you’ll hurt my feelings. My ideas are just as valid as anyone else’s!” Remus did indeed sound hurt at that, but Dark wasn’t in the mood to care.

“Your ideas are outlandish and ridiculous. They’re improper and purely impulsive. What I have to deal with is far more serious than anything you could consider. If I were to listen to what I’m hearing right now I would -”

“Use the decorative ribbon on the back of Thomas’ chair to strangle him.” Dark’s eyes widened as Remus joined in to finish the sentence in unison. “Oh, I know how all this works, cutie. While I won’t allow you to hurt Thomas, I can encourage you to embrace that side of yourself. It’s much more freeing being able to get those pent-up frustrations out in the open, you know. If you keep locking them away, you’re going to explode, and that won’t do anyone good at all.” He was about to continue, but he found himself stumbling back after a hefty shove. Dark rose to his feet with a snarl.

“I refuse. I play the role of a villain but that is not what I am. I have dealt with these thoughts for years, I think I can manage just fine.”

“By what? Pushing them deep deep down and forgetting they exist? Don’t fool yourself! Corruption can be fought off with enough struggle and good will. You’re fighting a losing battle if you’ve acted on them before. Just try it! Let me show you how rewarding it can be!” Remus’ weapon was raised in self-defense, but he knew he was in control of the situation. There wasn’t anyone here to try and talk boring logic into the setting, and Dark had already taken the ideas and performed them. That was more than Thomas! With this knowledge in mind, he swung the morningstar at Dark.

His plan worked as the entity immediately countered by grabbing his wrist and pulling the weapon out of his hands. Instead of hitting him, Dark acted as predicted and aimed his aggression at the bookshelf with an angry cry. One book was lifted and thrown at Remus, hitting the Side square in the forehead. The injury would quickly disappear on someone who didn’t actually exist, so it was ignored in favour of watching Dark’s lights sharply blink around him as a shelf was entirely reduced to scrap wood.

That’s it! Let it out! Show them what you’re capable of!

Breaking things into tiny pieces is so satisfying, isn’t it?

Now, wood is fine. Imagine how much better a skull could feel cracking under the pressure. The sound would be music in the air and paint the floor and the walls so nicely. It would be -

“Dark!” A voice snapped Dark to the present. The morningstar was gone, but the bookshelf was virtually destroyed. He wheeled around to the source of the voice.

Mark had entered the room, while Amy and Thomas peered in through the doorway in fright. Remus wasn’t there. Had he ever been there?

“Dark… What’s going on? Are you okay? Shit… What happened?” Mark quickly examined the room, noting the broken bookshelf and books scattered across the room. He’d need to pay for a replacement, but he had to help Dark first. Dark was hunched over slightly, breathing heavy as he looked at Mark with vacant eyes. He was completely out of it, lost in whatever was going on in his mind. Mark knew the other had talked about struggling to not ‘play the villain’, but never did he think he’d see it. It was almost like Dark was a stranger, struggling to hold himself back.

“Dark, it’s me, Mark. Look, you’re okay, it’s just me.” Gingerly, a hand was extended as he spoke. When nothing happened, he took a slow breath and began to cautiously approach. With every step, he was ready to quickly retreat should the touch-aversive entity feel threatened by another presence. Yet, through some miracle, he managed to lightly place his hand on Dark’s shoulder.

Dark blinked once, twice, three times before some sort of life returned to his eyes. Registering Mark before him, Dark took in the sight of the wrecked shelf with alarm.

“Mark, I swear I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s okay. No one was hurt. What happened? I heard your shouting over the music.” That caught Dark by surprise. They had only just decided which options on the menu they wanted when he left. How could he have been gone for that long? He dropped his head in guilt, ashamed to have to confess.

“I was trying to… Ignore thoughts in my head. Someone arrived and starting goading me into it. Next thing I know, you’re standing here and he’s gone.”

“He? Who’s ‘he’?” Mark looked decisively worried. Very few knew Dark actually existed as more than a fictional character. When there was no response at first, Mark repeated the question. At last, he got an answer.

“He said his name was Remus, or the ‘Duke’.”

“W-what?” Now it was Thomas’ turn to be thrown into a state of shock. Everyone turned to look at him with confusion. “He… I don’t know how that would work since… Remus doesn’t actually exist. He’s a character from a series I do called ‘Sanders Sides’. I have a bunch of characters that are personifications of different parts of an alternate me, and they address various mental health issues or topics that might be difficult for younger viewers to understand alone. But he… Doesn’t exist.”

The room fell silent. Dark knew what he saw, what he had experienced. Remus was physically there. He had pushed the Duke away, and snatched his morningstar. 

“Unless… Dark was a fictional character too, or so I thought. What if that connection meant that he broke that fourth wall to briefly exist in our reality?” Mark knew it sounded absurd, but it wasn’t as though anyone else had any bright ideas.

“If he knows what is best, he won’t return.” Dark growled, hands clasped tight behind his back. He needed to work harder to prevent himself from slipping into character. More effort would be needed to trap those thoughts in the far depths of his mind. They had vanished now, and that was that.

But is assuming an intrusive thought is gone really a wise decision?

#writersofmark #darkiplier #remus sanders #anti-hero dark #tw intrusive thoughts #tw remus #tw implied violence #tw implied murder #Cracked Mirror (Dark) #(remus tbt) #(... please go easy on me. I've never written Remus or Thomas before) #(... I really hope this all makes sense) #personal fave

[bambinidelmare]

Cultivating A Wardrobe You Love

What is the importance of sewing? For me, it is the ability to freely express oneself without limitations. If I do not see something in the store I like, or I see something and want to improve upon it, all I need is a seam ripper, 4-8 hours, and patience.

This year has been a huge shift. Easing into a new decade of life has been exciting, as I settle more into my true self. Gone are the days where I have yards and yards of endless fabric choices, all made on impulse and not one color or style I enjoy.  Gone are the days of sewing up a garment, only to realize I can not stand the fabrication.

2020 is the year of self actualization. I am allowing myself to step fully into the creative sphere and make my mark as a sewing pattern designer. I appreciate you all for being a party of my journey and supporting me.

So what is the best way to cultivate a wardrobe you love?

Start off by assessing your have’s and have not’s. Look at my daughter’s list for example:

Her have’s is so long. She just LOVES clothes. To not make it a sore topic for us, I just tell her to keep as many as she wants and make sure she lets go of items that no longer fit (we have been having our struggles with itty bitty shorts at this point, but that is for another post!)

She is 11 years old and already understands that she does not need much in her wardrobe to feel happy. She has four items on her list that would improve her wardrobe for summer. I will consult with her on fabric choices and upon her approvals, sew her summer wardrobe. Since fast fashion is a discussion topic in our home, she is already taking into account that we only wear about 10 pieces of clothing.

So start by making a list of what you have and have not (your wants). Considering season changes of course, I am not going to say limit your wardrobe. Just be mindful that you will need to store it all!

2. Plan Colour Choices

My mother always has amazing style. She looks put together no matter what we do. Why is this? She has a color palette. She has chosen neutrals, black, white, navy and one accent color. Her color is chartreuse. This tip may not work for everyone, but I have noticed peoples pages that I love on Insta usually have a colour palette.

My palette consists of neutrals, brown, pink, and green. It my sound crazy, but it works for me.

3. Plan before you Sew

This one is important. I notice if I spend a bit of time planning prior to sewing, I have more success. I am a quick reader, so first I ensure I have read the pattern instructions slowly three to four times before tracing off the pattern. This slows me down from being overexcited and starting the project right away, only to immediately lose momentum a few days later.

Just get a notebook and designate it as your design planning notebook. You can keep magazine snippets, design sketches, and notes on ideas you have in there.

Before you even think to buy a pattern or start a project ask yourself-how does this fit into my wardrobe? Once I sew this up will it feel like me?

This has helped me take a pause on sewing up something that really never was my style to begin with, and make better fabric choices.

4. Re-assess your List

Finally, step back, and take a moment to evaluate if you made a good list for you. Do you like your choices, is there something that just doesn’t feel right? Yesterday, I printed a sew at home pattern and pieced it together. During the piecing process, I was SO EXCITED. Once is was completed that all faded. I could not figure out why until I realized I did not like the neckline at all. I needed to change it. I spent about 30 minutes boring my partner over potential style changes and getting out different potential fabric choices until I realized I could just put the pattern away. Yes, I bought the pattern, yes, I like some qualities of the look, but that does not mean it was the right pattern for me. At the end, I folded it up, put it away, and was relieved I didn’t cut one of the fabric I really loved.

These are my tips on starting to cultivate a wardrobe you love.

I hope you have a splendid week,

Serah

#mythoughts

[ellipsea]

2017 fanfic meme

tagged by @emmerrr​​, thank you!!! this was a great retrospective.

total stories written this year (completed/WIPs):

8 oneshots.

total word count:

29,253. it seems like an itty bitty number in relativity but prolific slow burns are not my forte.

putting the rest under a cut because it got looong.

fandoms written in:

the raven cycle. briefly i toyed with the idea of doing something for tales of zestiria, but it was the kind of story that was only relevant at a certain crossroads in my life, and then that passed, and so i moved on. maybe something else will strike me this year.

looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected?

like, exactly what i expected. i knew i wanted to publish something this year, so January through March was all about getting down drabble ideas, practicing, writing nonstop. from there my posting schedule loosely kept to monthly.

what’s your own favorite story of the year?

sentimentally, my first is my favorite: who were so dark of heart they might not speak. it was everything i needed it to be.

did you take any writing risks this year?

a bunch. i imposed three or so challenges on myself with every story to see if i could do it: experimenting with structure, 5+1 things, AU, M-rating, POVs, verb tenses, etc. i think a story isn't interesting for me unless i'm anxious about the choices i'm making for it.

do you have any fanfic or profit goals for the new year?

oh, yes. we're doing the soulmate AU this year. trying my hand at a long-form multi-chapter. also in the works is a spiritual successor to qosd, a post-canon no-fucking-around fluff-monster from Adam's POV. we'll see how scheduling goes but i'm really excited to work on those.

best story of the year?

who knows what BEST means. personally some of my best writing was in how the clouds swung low over kings and thieves (can i cut it out with the long ass titles mayhaps these are ridiculous to type), but it was also a mess. messes can be the best.

most popular story of the year?

quod ore sumpsimus, domine. i liked that one, too.

story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion:

under-appreciated is weird to say, because stories mean different things to different people and i don't pretend to posture for mass appeal. i just write what i can't stop thinking about, and some people will find rhythm in it, and some people will not, and some won't care for rhythm at all, and if everyone processed things in the same way we'd all be boring.

most fun story to write:

Dear Diary, hands down.

story with the single sexiest moment:

this is funny since i have only ever written a single sexy moment, and it's in bottle up the sea breeze. a few others allude to sexy things, like tmcg and qosd, but they're all intensely non-explicit.

sweetest story:

with up so floating many bells down. like, it has mistletoe. self-explanatory.

”holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you!” story:

i would never! i'm no angstlord demon, even though the first three parts of Heaven Kissing Hill are kind of like that. i leave the hurty pain weepy ache to stronger hearts than mine.

story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters most & most unintentionally telling story:

i would love for this to be a normal answer, but this title rightfully belongs to an unpublished 7k that will remain a draft forever. it was a story about healing disabilities with dream magic, a truly self-indulgent and terrible theme that had nothing to do with real recovery and everything to do with wishful thinking. i realized that far too late in the process, and up until i decided to scrap it, i had been using Adam and Ronan as outlets for things too close to my heart instead of writing them as people. our mistakes teach us the most. i was a better writer for dropping it into the trash.

hardest story to write:

all of them were hard in their own way. brain-dizzy and sinus-sick while editing wusfmbd, starting and finishing butsb in just ten days for pynch week, HKH being an emotional rollercoaster. those were all from prompts, too, and preconceived expectations are hard to stick to.

the real answer is thou mightest conceive gods, though. i put a lot of effort into researching tarot spreads and interpretations, and filling in the gaps was a struggle. that was also prompt-like. the realest answer is basically anything with a prompt. i prefer to start with the answer and work my way back to the question.

biggest disappointment:

there were lows, to be sure, when some stories had lower kudos ratios than others. i kept multiple notes pinned to the top of google keep to remind myself to not get so down about stuff like that. it's a process, but i'm much better about it now.

biggest surprise:

when i woke up at 7:30 AM on a Sunday because i couldn't sleep because i had impulse-posted my first fic at 11 PM the previous night and found it with 40 whole kudos. i thought that was the biggest number i had ever seen in my life. i couldn't stop grinning for days.

i think i've seen a lot of people get tagged in this, so i don't want to overdo it! if you would like to do this feel free to say i tagged you <3

#tag game #it's time i made a tag for this stuff huh #my writing

[beautybodybasics]

Dermatillamania - the realization

Before I even start I just want to explain a few things. I am creating this because I know how hard it is to deal with and I would be happy if my blog and experience helps even one person out there through another day. I am not a doctor nor do I have any medical degrees to give out professional advice. What I do have is the years I have been trying to get through this, what has helped and what has not. If you are like me you have looked through every article, youtube video, google search, facebook group, blog and pinterest you can find about this condition to help you understand why. When I say why you know exactly what I am talking about. The WHYS that circle around in your head asking why me, why do I do this to myself, why can’t I just stop, why does nothing help but most of all why is help for it so hard to find? Seeing other people out there are going through it even though it sounds terrible, makes you feel better because at least you know you aren’t alone. I want someone out there going through it to know they’re not alone.

Some of the things I speak about aren’t easy to speak about not just to people close to me but to anyone. Some of what I talk about people will think is disgusting and that is exactly why I decided to finally do this. For the outside people looking in, sure maybe what you see or read will sound gross and if it is you have the choice to move on. For those of us dealing with this problem maybe what you see or read will sound and look very familiar and you will be able to connect with that feeling. That is my goal.

As a teen I had no skin problems. Maybe the occasional pimple here and there. Growing up I always had the bad habit of picking at my lips but never thought anything of it. It wasn’t until I joined the Army and went to basic training in Missouri that my body decided to bring out my enemy, myself.

I have anxiety as well as slight OCD but it was always manageable to a point. I have dealt with self-esteem issues since I was young and it always battles itself. I am not sure what happened when I got to BCT but it changed me. I still didn’t get ‘acne’ but I got the impulse. If I felt the tiniest itty bitty bump on my face I would poke at it and squeeze it until it became what looked like acne. Once it was all swollen and red it was like I couldn’t control the need to remove it from my face and I would stop at nothing to get it off. To sum it up after a few days, I had red bloody scabs all over my face. Of course the scabs had to go too, so I picked at them as well. My fingers had blood stains underneath my nails. My uniforms always had blood stains on the collars and sleeves. My pillows and blankets had stains. I could feel the judgement from others. They would ask me what was wrong with me and I couldn’t give them an answer because I was wondering the same thing.

I picked without knowing I was doing it. Anywhere, it didn’t matter. Drill Srgs pulled me aside to tell me it was gross and that they could see I was unaware I was doing it. They threatened to duct tape oven mitts on my hands if I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t stop. They never duct taped the mitts on thankfully but I did get yelled at…a lot. Before getting ready for bed we had a little mirror in our lockers. I would zone out in it until lights out just destroying myself. I had no explanation why, I just know it was like I wasn’t even there. When I’d look in the mirror in the morning, it was like I had no idea who had done the damage.

People said I had ‘scabies’ and ‘ringworm’. If I thought my self-esteem was bad before this took me to a whole new level I didn’t even know I could feel. I was there for 6 months. Sadly, this “habit” didn’t break even when I returned home. I joined the Army when I was 20 years old and I am now 25. I have tried every skincare product you can think of. Everything that I did try I will try to review and give my thoughts on throughout my blog because THERE.IS.SO.MUCH. If someone said one thing could possible help, I got it and tried it.

I had realized I had a problem that I knew nothing about. I knew I needed to do something and this is what started my journey. People don’t understand the feeling that happens when you are picking. In my next post that is what I am going to explain.

Happy healing!

#dermatillomania #skin picking

[biomeberry]

On a Really Basic Itty-Bitty Level

Fandom: Thomas Sanders/Sanders Sides

Pairing: Logicality/PTA Sanders (Logan-centric)

Summary: “ No matter how long you’ll live, you’ll never touch another human being.”  Based on @the-prince-and-the-emo‘s post, Logan struggles with the weight knowledge can bring, and Morality comforts him with his own weird perspective.

Warnings: angst (with a happy ending), existentialism(?), dubious science

Hi there! So this is my first Sander’s Sides fic, and the first thing I’ve written in like three months, lol. I’m trying to get back into it. I really hope you enjoy, let me know what you think and if i should write more :)

@sanders-sideblog​ asked me to tag, so here you go, thank you so much for the encouragement! I’m going to go ahead and tag @prinxietys​ and @dan-yuna​ because they’re also cool inspirational writers (hope you don’t mind) 

Now that that small novel is done, let’s get to the actual fic!

No matter how long you’ll live, you’ll never touch another human being. There will always be a gap, an infinitesimal space between your molecules and theirs. (See, Logan does know how to use that word.)  He knows a lot of things. It’s his job, after all. And most days, he likes his job. He’s nothing if not knowledgeable, and he enjoys explaining things, he really does. He’s a teacher by nature, and most of the time knowledge is great.

But there are those times when it’s a burden. There are things that aren’t worth knowing, things that do more harm than good. Sometimes, he has to think about the bottom of the ocean and the number of teeth dinosaurs have or sixteen different medieval diseases. Technically, there’s no fear to these facts. He leaves the uneasiness to Anxiety, who acts as a sort of go-between for these facts and Thomas. So Logan has no reason to consider that. There’s nothing to fear.

But there is a loneliness. There is a crushing loneliness that comes with knowing that touch is just the transfer of kinetic energy and you’ll never really understand the feeling of a mother’s hand, or a friend’s hug, or a lover’s lips. And Logan considers himself an unbiased, objective kind of person. Because, things just are one way or another. There’s no use getting worked up over things that are unchangeable. But he’s not inhuman, and as frustrating as emotions are, they have scientific roots. Hormones and impulses and a whole lot of questionable neuroscience can explain away weird flutterings and the collapse of composure. So really, a lack of emotions would be less logical.

That doesn’t mean he has to like it. So, on those nights where the knowledge of everything threatens to suffocate him, he hugs his knees and bites his lip and pretends he isn’t lonely or sad. He pretends he’s impartial and cold, because he’s seen how vulnerable emotions make you. He’s seen the pain it puts people through. He’s spent a long time protecting Thomas from irrational action driven by feelings, so he can’t succumb to them himself. He’ll make sure he looks and acts just fine, because he is, as long as nobody can prove that he isn’t.

“Logan?”

But dang it, if some people don’t make that really, really hard.

Morality is standing in the doorway to Logan’s room, a mug in one hand. The artificial moonlight streaming through the window bounces off his glasses, obscuring his eyes. His mouth is just beginning to pull down at the corners, rapidly reversing his default smile.  

“What do you want, Morality?” The more parental side steps over to him, seeming to test the waters.

“Oh nothing, you know how it is. Are you alright?” Logan is absolutely not alright, but he’s not about to let Morality ruin his nice denial session.

“Yes, I am perfectly fine. Now, I would appreciate it if you vacated my room.” Morality hesitates for a moment.

“Well, sure! I don’t want to bother ya, but…” He clears his throat. “I’m here if you need anything, you know that right? It’s sort of my job to keep everyone from being down in the dumps.” There’s a long, awkward pause. “So, I’ll just head back to my room then!” He chirps, turning back around. Logan waits one, two, three beats before his resolve breaks.

“Morality?” At the sound of his name, Morality turns immediately. His relief is evident in the way his shoulders sag into a relaxed line.

“Yup?”

“Are you familiar with C8?”

“The battleship coordinate?” Logan fights the urge to roll his eyes.

“No, C8 is an equation in mereotopology that shows the way two objects ‘touch’ theoretically. For example, if x and y are ‘touching’ then there must be a self-connected ‘z’ that…” he trails off at the sight of Morality’s kind, but ultimately lost face. Logan can’t blame him, he’s pretty sure this isn’t a shared knowledge kind of thing. It’s probably individual like Roman’s Spanish or Anxiety’s affinity for emo bands.

“To put it simply, nothing actually touches, ever. There’s always a pocket of molecules separating one thing from another.”

“Oh.”  Morality seems to consider this. After a moment his eyes light up. “Hey, that means we never touch the ground, right?”

“Yes, I mean I suppose--”

“So that means we can actually fly, and we do it all the time!” Logan stops short. He’s never looked at it like that. Because it’s stupid, he supplies, but also weirdly charming.

“Yes, technically. Though I suppose levitation would be the correct term.”

“Logan, that’s so cool, thanks for telling me!” Morality’s eyes are positively sparkling.

“I guess it is, but…” His friend nods gently, encouraging him. “It’s not just the ground, obviously. Scientifically speaking, we can’t touch each other, either.” He gestures to his knee, where Morality has subconsciously rested a hand. “You’re not touching me right now, just the molecules around me.” Morality makes a small “ah” sound. He’s quiet for a long time.

Eventually, he hands Logan the mug of tea he’s holding.

“Here.” WIth that, he wraps both arms tightly around Logan’s torso.

“What are you doing?” Logan means to say it firmly. His lungs seem to have other plans, as he lets out a squeak with the air that leaves them.

“That’s an awfully difficult way to look at things, Logan.” The more rational side shrugs uncomfortably under the scrutiny. “But I was thinking.”

“Shocking.”

“That stings, but I’m going to count it towards the dad jokes.”

“I need to stop doing that.”

“I was thinking about what you were saying the other day, about how electrons can jump from one object to the other?”

“Thus creating a static charge and giving me an excuse to shock you, yes, your point?”

“Well, right now, even though I’m hugging you, we’re not touching. But, electrons that were on me are on you now, right? So at a really basic, itty bitty level, we are touching! And that’s pretty freaking cool!” Logan blinks.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but you’re sort of right, Morality. I mean, your science is kind of off and you have no affinity for the correct terms...but, at ‘a really basic, itty bitty level’, you’re correct.” It isn’t the politest way to acknowledge somebody’s accomplishments, but Morality seems happy nonetheless.  

“So I’m gonna keep hugging you, okay Logan?” Logan nods, barely. “And,” He takes the other’s slightly trembling hand and laces their fingers together. “I’m going to do this, if you’re okay with it.” Logan nods again, his mind occupied with the sudden spike in his heart rate and the unexpected weight to his breaths. Morality leans in conspiratorially. “We might not actually be touching, but I think it’s pretty nice anyway.” He shifts, snuggling into Logan’s collar before scolding, “Now drink your tea, you’ve got to stay warm!” Logan lifts the cup to his lips, sighing against the steam. He glances over to his companion. Morality’s eyes are just beginning to flutter shut, the lateness of the hour creeping up on them.

And Logan is inclined to agree with what he’d said before. Because even if the touch wasn’t real, the warm feeling spreading throughout him was. The metaphorical butterflies in his stomach were also real, as weird of a thought as that was. And even if everything in this world was a lie, if science explained away everything else, they would have this moment. Logan himself will probably deny it tomorrow morning. It will most likely be weak attempt to normalize a series of variables that suddenly have no control. But for now, he lets all of it slip away as he drifts off. The last thing he registers before a bizarre series of dreams is Morality, gently squeezing his hand.

#thomas sanders fanfiction #logicality #pta sanders #logan sanders #morality sanders #my writing #sanders sides fanfic #i feel like i should also mention that since the prompt isn't mine anybody can use the same premise #it's not like i've claimed it or anything #fluff #angst with a happy ending #disclaimer: i'm nerdy but i'm not a quantum physicist

[buckykingofmemes]

Bucky, can you tell us about one of the times you had to take care of poor, sick, pre-serum Steve? I'm fighting off the last of a virus and could use a good story.

look you guys. i dunno what the hell kinda history books youve been reading about pre-serum steve, but ‘poor sick’ steve was pretty much the literal devil.

i am not joking. he was pretty much the definition of ‘lead you right into temptation’ if you assume that what youre being tempted to do is get in so many fistfights. 

so. many. i coulda really used a sickass robot arm back in the day, because my goodness did i do a lotta punching.

anyway, sick steve went through four stages, like a caterpillar turning into a butterfly, except he turned from a tiny angry man with the ability to breathe into a tiny angry man with the ability to pass out with zero warning. stage one was called ‘Im Not Sick, I Always Breathe Like This,’ and did indeed involve steve wheezing a lot. usually that was the first sign. but tiny steve had asthma, so sometimes he really did just breathe like that. at this stage, steve would insist that he was ‘fine, bucky, honestly stop glaring at my lungs. you cant even see them.’

the second stage was called ‘So Maybe I Might Be Sick But Im Still Fine Though,’ and pretty much came into play when steve stopped being able to get a whole word out without gasping in the middle. fun fact? steve’s eyebrows did not grow when he got the super serum, so if you think his angry face is bad now, just imagine allll that scowl packed into steve’s itty bitty please-punch-me starter face.

stage three was ‘If Im Dying Im Gonna Go Out The Way I Came In, Screaming And Covered In Blood’ which was the stage where steve, despite the fact that he was supposed to be in bed, would try to sneak out and go do things. this wouldnt be so bad if 1. he wasnt prone to just suddenly passing out when he was sick, or 2. had had any control at all over what came out of his mouth. that thing steve does where if youre doing something he objects to morally, he will 100% of the time come over and inform you that you should be expecting a punch in the near future? yeah. tiny steve did that too. luckily his brain-to-mouth filter was improved by the serum, or im pretty sure he’d have started fights with a lot more than 117 countries and literally every nazi ever. Anyways, he’d try and sneak out, and if he succeeded, he would almost always wind up picking a fight with somebody, because having bad luck and terrible impulse control is what steve do.

the final stage was called ‘Bucky I Promise I Wont Do Anything Stupid, Please Stop Sitting On Me,’ and it was the point at which i started ignoring everything he said until he could say a whole sentence in one breath. 

#bucky's brooklyn accent comes out stronger when he's talking about his childhood #steve is a good person but good lord was he a pain #the rigeous-fight-everything schtick is only fun if you dont lose every single fight #tales from the tower #team took all the stupid #bucky king of memes #Anonymous

[thestalkerbunny]

might aswell do em all at once, oshune, osheel, ecohla, dacola, zina, yolanda, eris and her boys, shadow fuckits, the dragon princess

you can painfully tell where I got tired and I don't know what Shadowfuckits are.

Imena (there's nothing really that sexual with Imena.)

-Imena honestly has no real intrest in having a sexual relationship, a boy/girl/date friend, or intentions to get married.

-*steps up to a microphone.* I am hardly 15 and I've only held hands with one other person and he was a skeleton, let me run my country, you guys don't even have clean drinking water and you're concerned about me poppin' out babies.

-She just really wants to get her country in order before she considers even getting with anyone, let alone sex.

-her asshole of an uncle nearly married her off the Meme Lich (to have some sort of control over the skeleton endemic) but it just pissed off Memey even more because A: he only saw Imena as a friend and his first friend in a long time and B: Imena was nearly 13 at the time.

-She does get numerous letters from foreign royalty, saying that a Prince has come to claim her hand, per some made up agreement they made (Agnola's Royal blood line is believed to the be the only ones who have acesses to a true dragon's horde. Outsider royals want in on the goods.) She turns them down, but they come anyway.

-Knights have broken into the castle, claiming they've come to save the Dragon's Princess. Nobody ever seems to inform these people of the gramatical error. They are usually hauled off by Imena's royal gaurd and put in the stocks for disturbing a princess.

-Imena's possibly Demisexual or Asexual, she just sees sex as a process for makin' babies (and in the middle ages, that is a dangerous thing do be doing for a lady.)

　

Eris

-Never really had sex before the whole 'I gotta pay for collage because I'm not talented enough to get a scholarship and I've lost the financial aid, I need cash.'

-the embodiment of 'please do not tell my mother what I do to make money.'

-She liked her first client. He was rather clean, polite and a nice tipper. Everyone else was a varying dissaray of rude, disgusting or terrible tipper-or shy and akward. Eris likes the shy and akward ones, less scary. She really liked the rich ones-or the heavy sleepers that didn't notice when she took extra 50s from their wallets

-Oogie and Slash are probably the first REAL relationship she's ever hard. They were good clients who became nice aquatinces who then offered her a part in a poly relationship.

- She has yet to be arrested for sex work. It helps when you're able to change shape really fast. Dive into a crowd and the cops will never find her.

-She doesn't like aphysxiation. Choking scares her deeply, she likes all hands to be kept away from her lil' neck.

-Biting on her lil' ears however, is welcomed, provided it is the nice gentle nibbles and not too hard. Pulling the tail is fine, just not too hard

-Is rather jaded in the regards to the nude form thanks to many live model art classes and her line of work. There is no blushing embarressed girl in the bedroom when the tits and dick come out.

-She's just as comfortable doing girls as she is boys-she just happens to have a much heavier male clientel.

-Best at blow jobs. Hands down.

　

Slash n' Oogie

-Slash is half Oogie's size, so usually it's Oogie being on top, which Slash has no argument on.

-Oogie is completely down for the whole being hit schtick. Takes him back to his old moshipitting days where he got decked in the nose and got weird boners.

-Slash never had sex really before Oogie. Akward making out and weird groping with partners, yes, but never full on sex.

-Slash likes to bite, but usually it's very gentle nibbles because his fangs are itty bitty. He also likes it when his little wings are played with.

-Eris is, and both of them agree on this, the best girl they've ever had sex with. Considering how Oogie's only been with guys all his life and Slash has only had sex with Oogie prior Eris.

-Oogie was hesistant in the whole regard of the poly idea, mainly because muscians and girls usually have a bad history trend of fucking things up. Eris has yet to fuck anything up.

-Oogie is best at oral and sexual things, but Slash gives the sweetest fluffiest smooches you'd probably get diabetes.

　

I have no clue what the Shadowfuckits are. Clarify please

　

Yolanda

-It's been probably 80 years since she's had a fuck and she couldn't care LESS

-her baps are all natural and big and they annoy her to no end because she can't ever find cheap bras that'll fit her and in life, it caused her back pain. Now she feels nothing-but they still get in the goddamn way. They are also sensitive. Select few know this and have had the glory of being pushed against them.

-There are scars, very lightly around her reproductive bits and breasts, you can't even really tell, but by touch you'd know they're there. Brothel work was an ugly and violent trade for her. She hates that they've followed her into death. She had much more when she was alive.

-She bit. Hard. Not in the sensual way, but in the agressive, 'get off of me, your hour is fucking up and I HATE you' way. People have had scars and needed stitches after leaving Yolanda's company, often complaing about the moody blue eyed Snorunt lass.

-Has various erotic impulses and thoughts with people she's attatched to when she's absolutely sloshed, but never acts upon them.

-She did like it when her more sumissive 'clients' play with her boobs and let her take more charge during the whole thing. Some of her clients were petrified younge men who where dragged there by their fathers to ensure their boys were 'made into MEN' and had never done anything more than looked a girl in regards of womanly contact. She was a bit more compassionate twords these fellows.

-She doesn't like the 'BSDM' or the concept of hitting someone for sexual sport. If someone even playfully slapped her in bedroom regards, she'd probably lay into them with her fists.

-Watched porn maybe 3 times in her afterlife. All she said was 'She's faking it, He's faking it, all of it sucks and is completely inaccurate, nobody can have that much dialouge with dick in mouth.'

　

Zina

-VERY VANILLA

-Having sex for reasons outside of reproduction is an SIIINNNNNNNN

-praise gets her motor going tho. Telling her that she's good and valid and what not.

-Not much else to say. She's probably never masturbated or seen porn.

　

Dacola

-LET THEM WEAR THE CAPE DURING SEX. They're gonna wear it anyway whether you tell them to or not.

-Bite BITE BITE BITE BITE BITE BITE BITE, they love to bite and love to be bitten.

-Rough sex is good sex to them

-they do NOT like it when an outfit is ripped to shreds just so genetials go be gotten to faster. clothing is carefully undone, no button busting here.

-will seduce you, your gf, your bf and your bff and then sleep with you all in one massive orgy.

-'Bluh Bluh, let me suck your bits.'

-BOOOBS ARE GREAT AND WONDERFUL, very fond of titties and biting nips.

　

Ecohla

-Good lord, the list is LONG

-down for almost ANYthing, provided it's not gross (like, peeing or something like that. Nasty)

-gives head like a pro, eats out like an american. you want stress relief? you want Ecohla.

-will let you do them in the nook AND backdoor just for the sole purpose for their hands to be unoccupied so they can do something else.

-This rainbow drinker seems to only want to drink rainbow fluids.

-doesn't bite, not into the taste of blood.

-good at handies

-can't see worth shit and yet has the best bedroom face ever.

　

Osheel

-making out mentally behind the mask and stupid grin.

-is masturbation sex when you're two diffrent people fused together? I suppose it is. Having a one handed wank is twice as enjoyable.

-is just as open to everyone as Oshune is, a bit more reserved as Seelie is.

　

Oshune

-we have been over this enough to know she's down to clown with you all.

[ashtreechild-blog]

The Life of my Goldfish

I ended up with a sarasa comet goldfish, and I named her Pixie, she is a tiny little thing from the feeder tanks, and actually, in my opinion, a rare find. I am unable to put her in an indoor or outdoor pond, the best I can do being a small 5 gallon quarantine until I can get her 40 gallon cycled and ready to go.

The 40 gallon comes equipped with an adjustable heater, filter and a mercury thermometer, but there was only one problem with this setup and this one is a big no-no.

THE FILTER!!!!!!!

So let me start off with saying, I somehow wasn't disappointed because I had a backup?

The filter to the 40 wasn’t functioning properly, not sucking in water, hardly moving water, getting caught on itself on the inside and making a bunch of noise. After my boyfriend and I took it apart and fiddled with it, we had determined that it had in fact, come defective.

Well, I was beginning to stress about this. I may have had a sponge filter, but how well would it work by itself for a few months after Pixie gets in and poops all over the place? And then it hit my like a pile of bricks.

I had another filter. It had never been opened and never used, and I am about to go into the interesting backstory, about how destiny can be an interesting friend.

So, awhile back, my step-sister had bought a hamster, I didn't know it was possible to impulse buy a hamster by the way, but she had bought it one of those tiny metal cages. She had never owned a hamster before and she had never once done any research for this hamster. Well, as soon as I asked her if she had researched this animal, she just kind of shrugged and asked me to do it for her.

Well... I did.

I wrote down two simple pages of how to clean up the cage, how to feed and water, how to handle it, how much space it really needs and how to play with it. The only thing out of those two papers she did was get a bigger cage.

Now then, for all of you who have owned a hamster, I’m not one of them, you should know that getting a fish tank probably isn't a bad idea if you want a lot of space for your small furry friends, but she ended up getting not just the tank which was 55 gallons, she got an entire F***ing kit, filter, heater, lids, the whole shabang.

Lets just say, since I was there at the time and she knew that I was a fish keeper, she gave me the stuff she wouldn't use. That included the filter. Why she got a kit instead of taking advantage of the $1 a gallon sale was beyond me, but hey, whatever I guess. For all of that research that I did, I ended up gaining from it, and now, that gain was about to come in handy.

So, now we return to the issue with the filters. I am still relatively new to fish keeping, so I had no idea of this crazy idea would work. I pulled out my phone in order to do some research and I found out that “Hey, using a bigger filter is actually good for your fish, it’s also able to handle a larger bio-load!” So, I stuck it on the back of the tank, plugged it in and it ran like a dream.

A step out of a series of steps has been fulfilled, but now we run into another issue.

THE LID!!!!!

I don’t think it’ll be an issue, just need to cut into the back without breaking it, and if it does break, I can try to makeshift a lid. I hope Pixie will like her new home, because I don’t think I have ever put in this much effort for one fish.

Now then, To her backstory, as the title promised, at the beginning I had said the phrase “Ended up with” heres how it happened.

My step-mother had brought Pixie home from a wedding about 3 months ago and i had no clue about this. By that time, my betta, Mr. Bubbles, had passed, the 5 gallon tank he was in had already been cleaned and put away.

When Pixie was brought home, she was in a tiny bowl just small enough for me to wrap my hands around, and I have small hands, she was maybe only half an inch long at the time.

I thought it was safe to assume that the bowl contained unconditioned tap water, and it was of course to small for even her. I didn't want to take her back from whence she came and I didn't want to keep her in that itty bitty bowl for longer that she needed to be, I later found out that the bowl was an unused wine glass. That meant that my only option was my 5 gallon tank.

She looked pretty depressed with her situation, so I quickly set up the 5 gallon, filter, water conditioner, new substrate and air pump, and put her in and you will not believe how fast she took off into the water. I didn't want to put in the silk plants as I've had issues cleaning those free of anything in the past, and if they had a disease of some kind, i wast going to let it get passed onto pixie.

After watching her for a couple of minutes, I kept an eye on her to make sure she was okay. She seemed fine, So I grabbed my boyfriend and we went to the pet store for fish food and various fish medicines. Her food of choice being Omega One sinking pellets and Aqueon sinking goldfish granules.

The first 6 weeks that I’ve had her, she grew about an inch. I haven't seen any real signs of sickness on her. If I find something, it just kind of goes away later. Maybe the aquarium salt has something to do with it. She seems healthy, poop being the color of her food like it’s suppose to be, she eats like a little monster, explores her tank every now and then. She’ll come by to say hi when I walk by, when I play my music, Rock, Goth, or Electric Swing, she’ll come out and dash all over the place, if I play anything else, she’ll just hide behind her plants. (Java fern, Anubias nana, and Rosette sword). Maybe she just likes my kind of music.

Interesting thing here is that she will come out to say hi to me and my dad, but she will hide from my boyfriend and step-mother.

[notwhelmedyet]

Lost Light #2 thoughts

LL #2 : The opposite of “The opposite of a pep talk” that’s what that was

my page-by-page thoughts below:

page 1: you know that one gif for Star Wars TFA where Finn bicep curls up his love interests to kiss them? Well, no kissing obviously (gross), but Rod totally looks like he’s lifted Rewind up to chat with him about Functionists...who, by the way are surprisingly blase about letting the to-be prisoners monologue about universe hopping.

page 2: Interesting stuff! I wanted a moment where Drift and Megatron interacted before this, but the bit where he asks him and Rod for what to do was interesting. Also: do the functionists really only believe sentient transformers serve purposes? Like, no inanimate object can serve a purpose? Weeeeeird.

page 3: ugh I love Lug so much. Yeah, Anode, you have been a jerk to everyone and you should stop so I can move on to liking you. And oooh, mystery function? A secret that hasn’t been spoiled! :)

on a more nitpicky note...are there trees in the background? Isn’t the necroworld entirely inorganic and the flowers are just mechanical disguised as plants? Why would there be trees?

page 4: “we don’t owe them anything.” “Er—we owe them our lives, Anode” and then we got a twist! good stuff though I was at first confused if Fangry was being thrown at the monument or jumping through it.

page 5: @choomchoom has pointed out to me that CD and Rewind are exclusively here to exposition and their expositioning here is very cute. God, this ‘god’ is such an asshole. Just look at his stupid pose while he’s gadding about, floating in the air. What a jerk.

page 6: this page is dialogue heaven. firstly, Rod and Magnus are hilarious. Secondly, my boys are talking!!!! Since i started writing Observing Drift I have gotten very fixated on Drift and Ratchet interacting and I need moooore.

page 7: arghllksdfjklj Ratchet quotes a religious text in order to impress Drift, somebody call me an ambulance but not Ratchet because I don’t want him to laugh at me for getting so excited. Also, Drift observes that Primus as a ‘warrior god’ is old-school possibly implying that Spectralists don’t believe that? More next time, I mean never, on ‘what the heck does a Spectralist believe?’

and we find out that Drift’s vision led them to the Necroworld! That’s one big question I had, answered!

page 8: ya know how some people get less coherant when they’re near a cute cat? I am near incapable of writing good commentary when Drift and Ratch are staring in each other’s eyes discussing Drift’s visions on most of the page. So good. I adore how Ratchet’s new eye lines make it look like he’s super sleepy all the time because you know Ratchet is too busy worrying about his people (mostly Drift) to sleep.

page 9: Aww sweet, I’ve been waiting for the ‘shedload of moral support’ bit for a long time now. Also, Tailgate, honey. I love ya. But you’re kind of scaring me now? Lots of power and poor impulse control are a scary combination.

page 10: ACK TAILGATE! Do not do that! “He’s genuinely not worth it” is pretty funny though. And Cy is back, thank heavens.

page 11: I thought for sure Cy was touching his horn because it’s near the flashdrive port in transformer’s heads and he was going to show Tailgate a memory of him when he was younger and the actual reveal is okay but I am so disappointed. Imagine a flashback of young-and-brash warrior Cyclonus learning the lessons Tailgate will someday learn the hard way, trying to impress the other warriors and playing loose and fast with other bots lives because he can. There ought to be more Cyclonus fanfic because I want this so badly now.

ALSO: dear lord, Anode, you have the worst fricken fraggin luck on Cybertron, don’t ya? There was one sharp object in half a mile and you fell right on it.

page 12: I’m sure JR is just trying to write an enjoyable distopia but the AVL here are basically Life of Brian style incompetent and I’m not sure what emotions I’m supposed to be feeling? It feels a little too close to farce considering how serious everything is. Also, Megs looks awesome here.

page 13: Cyclonus over here pullin an Elliot Spencer and telling me he thinks about the innocent people he’s killed every day. Well that’s a big change from his ‘I was just following orders’ introduction, isn’t it? Also, what percentage of the people he’s killed does Cyclonus regard as innocents?

page 14: THANK YOU Cy, this is exactly what I was saying but worrying more about Tailgate’s health (as Cy is apt to do) instead of his mental state. Tailgate’s waist here looks so itty bitty? idk, was it always like that? Are his shoulders getting huge because he’s so buff?

page 15: Kaput is wonderful. There should be more Kaput, because he’s wonderful. I’m not super invested in this Lotty&Anode mystery thus far, but Kaput’s facial expressions are enough to keep me going.

page 16: He’s certainly working real hard to make it unclear if anybody besides Anode can hear Lug. If I hadn’t already heard whispers about that I probably wouldn’t notice at all. Also...Swerve...are you okay? Are you doing something (probably something bad) to stop yourself from feeling anything about Skid’s death? That would be very sad.

page 17: This page could be exclusively the middle panel of Rewind&Minimus leading the rescued protesters to safety and I would still love it. Little bots leading little bots to safety! Look at them run! Ugh, I love this so much.

page 18: LOL CD lassoed a god. CD as a cowboy. I’m never going to get this mental image out of my head, also 12-of-12 is a total wimp.

page 19: terminus is ridiculously supportive, literally everyone we meet is trying to get to cyberutopia these days and it’s time for the twist...

page 20: I know this is a dramatic twist, because now we’re going to find out what (at least this universe’s) Rung is for and also now everyone knows Rung is in danger and we’ve got a moral quandary about saving ourselves versus saving Rung but...just look at his face.

He looks peeved. Functionist verse Rung is so heavy metal that he meets a millenia of torture with the same expression I make when I forgot to buy eggs and I’m halfway through making crepes before I notice. 

Overall Response: I wasn’t totally invested in the functionist stuff this time around except it was entirely dialogue between pairs of characters I love, so I totally was. And more religion worldbuilding!!! Write me a pamphlet on Spectralism already JR. The Tailgate stuff keeps getting me hints about Cy’s character, which is A++. And the Lug&Anode stuff allows Lug to say cute and supportive girlfriend shit nonstop, so that’s also excellent. I’m still nervous that Tailgate and Anode and Velocity are going to do embarrassing social stuff as they continue to flail about but it’s definitely worth it.

#mtmte liveblog #lost light #mine