#the wedding and the baby in one week? plus losing luke?

[seanslaters]

I’ll be here for the foreseeable if anyone needs me 🤧

#hollyoaks #hollyoaks spoilers #darren x nancy #the wedding and the baby in one week? plus losing luke? #i won’t cope

[hemmoangel]

Dr. Gay Dreamboat Pt. 1

AN: I am giving the people what they want! Here is my comeback one shot’s first part. I hope you all enjoy it because this series is going to be STEAMY! 

Basically, Ashton is a doctor and Luke is his hot femboy nurse who has the hots for him...enjoy 

Warning:There will be smut and mentions of smut throughout the series! Bottom! Luke and top! Ashton, of course.  DO NOT READ IF YOU HATE GAY STUFF! Also, be sure to like a reblog if you enjoy! 

Here’s the link for ao3 :) :

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29210262/chapters/71721195

Working as a pediatric nurse had its perks. For example, Luke enjoyed socializing with children—they always had interesting stories to tell, and he liked wearing comfy clothes to work every day. He felt so professional in his little white scrubs. He also enjoyed stealing the candy from all the jars at the receptionist's desk. They always kept lollipops or gummy bears for the children who had a hard time handling vaccinations. But perhaps, the most exciting part (for most of the nurses, in fact) was how attractive he found his boss.

It wasn't the reason he had initially wanted the job. He was excellent with kids, and the registered nurse position required only a three-year degree. It paid more than enough to support his dog himself. It was a lovely job all around. The people were friendly, and there was such a diverse clientele that Luke met people from all over Sydney. It was social job with excellent pay; he couldn't ask for more. Except for the fact that his boss was a dreamboat.

They met at the interview—Luke was a blubbering mess. He wasn't exactly the smartest interviewee, so he rambled any time the man with fluffy brown hair and deep hazel eyes asked him a question.

"Are you from around here, Luke?" His voice had hit Luke's ears like velvet. It felt like a question he would receive at a gay bar, but he definitely wasn't imagining this guy at a gay bar during something as important at a job interview. Right?

"Oh, yeah. I grew up here...all my life," Luke swallowed thickly. He watched the doctor's hands, searching for a wedding ring. He didn't find one.

He's probably too busy for a love life, he thought and bit his lip.

"That's great. You'll easily relate to the patients then. They need someone kind and familiar with the area. It soothes them. I think you'll make a great nurse," The doctor, Ashton, assured. Luke had never heard such eloquent words in his life. He wanted to marry this man and have kids with him. But then, Luke realized that he had only answered two questions. Were his responses really that good? He was a dumb twink with nothing in his head except this doctor's dick for crying out loud!

Maybe Dr. Ashton Irwin saw a bright future inside of him too.

After that, Luke made it his personal mission to get on the handsome doctor's good side. Any chance that he had, he would ask his opinion or ask how to pronounce the name of some ridiculously long prescription just so Ashton would allow their arms to brush. Sometimes, Luke could smell the aftershave or cologne that he wore. It made his head spin.

He was always looking for new ways to get close to him.

"Dr. Irwin, I really love the new murals that you've picked for the examination rooms. The kids are going to love all the pretty colors!" Luke gushed, snacking on one of the children's lollipops in the office break room. He sucked it to stain his lips red.

"Oh yeah? I think so too. I was a hyper child, so I'm sure I would have loved all of the mind-numbing rainbow," Ashton laughed, looking over at Luke, "Hey, isn't that one of the lollipops we give to the kids?"

Luke blushed, "Yeah...just one. I really like the cherry ones," he felt like a child being scolded. It almost  was electrifying. He was hoping that his scrubs made him look particularly attractive today. They always did give his bum a certain heart shape.

"That's funny, Luke. You always light up the office," Ashton said softly, unaware that he had just made Luke's entire week. Oh, what he wouldn't do to sink to his knees right there in the break room and risk this man's entire PhD.

The room was thick since they were alone. Luke could hear the coffee machine whirring and the hands on the clock slowly tick tock. He ached to hear more of Ashton's praise. And maybe he was delusional, but Ashton only ever spoke so softly about him. It caused him to fantasize about being the doctor's fem-boy wife. They would have so many kids. Ashton was so thoughtful when it came to children, Luke was positive that he would want a million with him. Plus, what could be better than a man who already knows where the prostate is? Maybe he needed a therapist, but he was only human. When he saw the stretch of veins in the doctor's forearms or caught the glimpse of a sweet smile stretch across his lips, Luke felt true love.

"Yeah, I am pretty thrilled with the rainbow myself. I love representation," Luke pretended to flip his hair.

"That's why I chose rainbow walls. We deserve to be well accounted for in the office just like everyone else," Ashton flashed Luke a sincere smile.

Luke was a puddle. Just like at the interview, he was unsure of how to answer. The love of his life was at least a little gay too! He diverted his eyes back to his sucker, crossing his legs and trying to fight back a burning blush. He couldn't help but hope that Ashton had been flirting with him at least a little bit. They always shared carried good conversation and cracked small jokes between the two of them. His heart wished for the best, but his himbo brain warned him of being too rash. He loved this job, and he didn't want to lose it over an assumption.

But in that same vapid brain, devoid of all thoughts except cock and becoming someone's breeding bunny, he thought of a plan.

Luke was going to seduce his boss.

"Well, our lunch is over, Luke. Time to head back," Ashton threw away his trash from lunch, washing his hands before putting his white coat back on. Luke liked the sight of the doctor's figure in his scrubs.

"Yes, sir, Dr. Irwin," Luke stood, making sure to bend over a little when he threw his sucker stick into the bin. He listened for any sounds of disgruntlement, but all he heard was Ashton's footsteps as he walked to the door.

Luke followed, grateful that Ashton had waited to hold the door for him. Could he get anymore dreamy?

"You're with me in room 5, Luke," Ashton said, "Just a 9 month old's check up, but I need a nurse to help me when they get their first round of shots. Usually when the mums try to help, the baby ends up crying more. No biggie. It's still slow since school isn't back in session." He was checking over the baby's medical record. Luke was checking him out. His future husband knew everything. He had to be good in the bedroom.

"Yes, sir, Dr. Irwin," Luke gushed, correcting his tone when he heard himself. He hoped he didn't sound too smitten already. He had a hard time controlling himself around Ashton, especially when he was talking all smart about doctor stuff.

"Luke, don't call me sir. That's for when we're alone in the break room," Ashton teased without looking up from the paperwork in his hands. Luke gasped under his breath, feeling his cheeks burn hot.

Maybe his plan wasn't so vapid after all.

#part one of the series #this chapter only has mentions of smut but there will be lots to come (hahahaha) #lashton #lashton gay fic #gay 5sos #5sos #gay 5sos fanfic #luke hemmings #ashton irwin #bottom luke #top ashton #dom ashton #sub luke #twink luke #femboy luke #nurse!luke #doctor!ashton #do not read this is if you hate gay smut #gay #smut #gay smut #5sos smut #one shot #lashton one shot series #5sos fanfic #my writing

[maattamatthews]

Going to a wedding with Luke Martin and being his plus 1 and then flash forward to your guys wedding and first dance to “from the ground up” by Dan + Shay

inspired by “from the ground up” by dan + shay 🥰

You sat on the floor in Luke’s room in front of the mirror he had and curled your hair as Luke rushed around the room.

“What are you looking for?” You laughed.

“My tie,” he said panicked. “I can’t find it.”

“It’s on your bedside table, right where you put it five minutes ago!” You replied.

 Luke rushed over to the table and let out a large sigh of relief when he picked up his tie. “What would I do without you?” He said as he gently placed a kiss on your cheek.

“Probably lose your ties more often.” You said as you finished the last curl. You turned your iron off and combed your hands through the curls to make them loose. You then sprayed some hair spray into your hair, because both you and Luke know that your curls wouldn’t last five minutes without it.

“Are you sure you want to come to my cousin’s wedding?” Luke asked as you got up from the floor and walked over to where your dress was hanging on the back of his door. 

“Of course I do,” you said as you slipped it off the hanger. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to come. Besides, we can’t have you going to a wedding alone. You know they say weddings are the best times to find true love.”

“Do they really say that? Or is that another thing you made up?” Luke said as he walked over to where you were standing. 

“That’s for me to know, and for you to figure out,” You said with a smile before you placed a sweet kiss on his lips. “Will you help me zip my dress?”

“Of course,” he said sweetly. You stepped into the dress and pulled it up over your body. You slipped your arm into the straps and placed them on your shoulders. Luke’s hand guided the zipper to the top of your dress. He placed his hands on your shoulders and stared at you in the mirror. “Well shit,” he said.

“What?” You joked. “I look that bad?”

“Oh God no. Quite the opposite actually. I have no clue how I’m going to keep my hands off you all night.” Luke said with a chuckle.

“Luke!” You exclaimed as you hit his chest gently. 

“Hey! I’m being honest here!” 

“Okay whatever, just behave yourself please?” You begged.

“Fineeeeee, but only because we have to leave,” Luke said as he ushered you two out of his bedroom and out to his car.

The car ride to his cousin’s wedding was spent singing along to sappy, country love songs and talking about each other’s plans for the next week. You sat close to him during the ceremony. Luke kept his hand on your thigh the whole time and squeezed it when his cousin and his now-wife said “I do” to each other. You looked at each other in the eye after that moment and took the atmosphere together.

When the reception rolled around, Luke was swept up into family conversations while you danced with his niece and laughed with his mom. When you two finally got to sit down and enjoy each other, the DJ called for all couples to come to the dance floor. You tried to stay in your seats, but Luke’s cousin and new wife pulled you both onto the floor with them.

Luke shot you a small smile before he wrapped his arms around your waist. Out of instinct, you placed your hands behind his head and played with the hair that was at the nape of his neck. The DJ was playing some old love song that everyone seemed to enjoy. What you enjoyed was the small moment that was happening between you and Luke. 

“What song do you think we’ll dance to at our wedding?” Luke asked. The question toom you by surprise. You mean sure, you both have been dating since sophomore year at Michigan, but it’s only been about two and a half years.

“Oh gosh,” you say still taken shaken by his question. “I don’t know, probably a country love song. You know, one of the ones that we both really like.”

“Well you gotta give me a specific one,” he joked.

“Hmm,” you thought for a minute. “From the ground up by dan + shay.”

“Good choice, good choice.” After your answer, the rest of the night was spent in quiet moments with Luke before heading home and going to bed.

*****

“Please welcome to the floor for the first time, Luke and Y/N Martin!” The DJ announced as you and Luke walked through the door for the first time as a married couple.  Luke had proposed to you on your four-year anniversary, and you knew deep down that he was the perfect man for you.

The reception hall was booming with joy and happiness as you two took to the dance floor for your first dance. When you heard the first notes of the song that you promised him all those years ago, tears started to form in your eyes. Luke noticed and brought his thumb up to wipe away any tears that might’ve escaped. 

As “From the Ground Up” played through the speakers, you both swayed softly to the beat. The world around you didn’t matter at the place or time. All that mattered was the man standing in front of you. 

“Remember when you asked me what song we’d dance to and I said this one?” You asked him quietly. 

“Of course I do. That’s the moment I realized I couldn’t let you go.” Luke said with a smile. 

“I just can’t believe we’re finally doing it.” You smiled back.

“Well believe it, baby, because we’re starting from the ground up now,” Luke said before he placed a gentle kiss on your lips. 

#luke martin #luke martin imagine #maattamatthews #my writing #hockey imagine #nhl imagine #blurb #imagine #umich hockey

[lovelylogans]

what are your favorite episodes of gilmore girls?

ooOOOOOOH GREAT QUESTION i’ll break it down season by season:

season one

pilot. i mean, obviously. it sets them all up so well, character-wise; plus, you can tell some episodes in season one that were filmed shortly after the pilot vs a while later, just bc of emily’s differing hair lengths

the lorelai’s first day at chilton: introduces such great characters (paris, madeline, louise) and also is such a great way to continue the transition into learning about this world

rory’s birthday parties: god. just. the stark difference between emily and richard’s world vs stars hollow...... the found family of practically all of stars hollow showing up to rory’s home party...... “lorelai’s right. i don’t know my daughter at all.”...... God

forgiveness and stuff: like, gOD. a masterclass of acting especially from kelly bishop and lauren graham; it hits so differently after edward hermann’s actual passing. luke and lorelai’s relationship displayed on what he’d do for her. lord!

paris is burning: paris................ the Beginning of turning from enemies to friends...... plus, like, you get to see some of lorelai’s commitment issues, which plays out throughout the entire series (sometimes To My Great Aggravation)

concert interruptus: the bangles 🥺paris and rory 🥺

christopher returns: i mean. you see the dynamic between rory and christopher, lorelai and christopher, and emily, richard, and christopher, which just paints such a clearer picture of what lorelai’s life might have been like back then. PLUS, emily being soft toward rory; it’s one of my fave relationship moments for them, and i kind of regret taking that line from her and giving it to christopher in wyliwf.

star crossed lovers and other strangers: the same way we get to see emily and rory, we get to see richard and lorelai; also, you can see how lorelai’s commitment issues might have inadvertently affected rory in this. plus i love love LOVE the backstory of the stars hollow lovers festival, i wish they’d repeated it in later seasons!

emily in wonderland: i really wish you’d gotten to see the effect of learning about lorelai and rory living in the shed play out more than a one-episode arc, i really wish we did, but like. emily bishop, once again, acting her damn heart out. phenomenal.

season two

the road trip to harvard: you get to see the beginnings of how rory leaving for college might affect lorelai, plus you get to see rory in her ivy league habitat. luke getting so suddenly, “inexplicably” cheerful when he hears that lorelai’s not marrying max. and at the very ending emily being sympathetic to max. bless it.

nick & nora/sid & nancy: first jess ep. “dodger.” what else is there to say. points off lorelai tho for immediately losing it at jess when he snarks at her, when, like, that is your move, lorelai, you should recognize that?

presenting lorelai gilmore: rory stepping more and more into her grandparents’ world in a way lorelai never wanted to; though i don’t ship christopher and lorelai, their dance scene is adorable. plus, emily and richard fighting a bit and the beginnings of richards (seasons long!) arc about his journey with his work.

the ins and oust of inns: MIA. you get to see mia for the first time! lorelai and sookie having a fight is :( but you get to see lorelai’s turmoil over actually leaving the inn. emily coming to see mia! luke yelling at the town over them being rude about luke! lorelai coming to his defense! rory telling jess off and jess wordlessly fixing luke’s toaster in silent apology!

the bracebridge dinner: GOD. love it. the horses and carriages! the absurd historical acting! emily and richard! rory and jess! luke and lorelai! it’s fantastic!

a-tisket, a-tasket: I LOVE THIS EPISODE. some of the town absurdity that was just A Plus. “it’s not like she’s shipping off to ‘nam!” is a great line. jackson proposing to sookie! and poor lane........

there’s the rub: emily and lorelai, seeing how great they could get along, but seeing how either of them wreck it just when it’s getting a-okay. god. it’s just such a great microcosm of their relationship.

dead uncles and vegetables: luke......... Luke. lorelai and rory and jess all rallying around him in their ways, and stars hollow by extension. even tho they were pretty shitty at first, they, like. managed to make it up to him in the end.

lorelai’s graduation day: GOD LAUREN GRAHAM, KELLY BISHOP, AND EDWARD HERMANN KILL IN THE GRADUATION SCENE!!!!! i ADORE that shot of the three of them, gets me every single time!!! the only thing i dislike about it is rory accidentally missing the graduation bc....... :/. like. i really like jess. but. come on.

i can’t get started: sookie’s wedding!!! her freaking out over the cake so much in her dress is So Her, she looked so pretty omg! plus, if the spa ep is a good microcosm of emily and lorelai, this is a great microcosm for christopher and lorelai. plus!!!! RORY AND JESS FIRST KISS!!!!!!

season three (look, full disclosure, seasons 3/4 are like. my faves. so)

haunted leg: gosh. lauren graham kills it in that last couple scenes. plus! kirk asking lorelai out on a date is hilarious! emily and lorelai’s lunch at luke’s going So Bad! and i know that not a ton of people like the francie chilton student politics intrigue subplot isn’t great for some people, but i do think that the potential was Great and there are definitely some really good scenes that arose from that subplot, so

take the deviled eggs... like. just. a great blend of town insanity (patty’s new boy, the town loner pitching a protest no one knows the reason behind) and lorelai and rory bonding (by deviled-egging jess’ CAR) and just!!! yes!!!!

they shoot gilmores, don’t they?: i mean. come ON. what list would be complete without this? literally every single favorites list has this episode on there. the dance marathon is the perfect example of town insanity! lane and dave getting their bonding! that little luke and lorelai moment about having kids! that scene of rory crying into lorelai’s shoulder!

a deep-fried korean thanksgiving: i love the whole “three thanksgivings” thing. Can Relate, Do Understand. i think that lorelai freaking out at rory for applying to yale is definitely a contrived subplot (i mean. she was never going to apply to only harvard. ma’am.) but i do like seeing sookie, and luke and jess, and just.... Yeah

dear emily and richard: our ONLY flashback ep! while i do think that only lauren graham can really pull lorelai off, the actress is, like, fairly decent (young christopher, however, does not really fit) and you just! yeah! you get to see them back in their youth and FINALLY get the context of how lorelai ran away!

the big one: like! yay paris! lorelai’s reaction (”i’ve got the good kid!”) is Gross, Frankly! it’s gross and bad! but also poor paris 🥺but!!! rory helping to comfort her afterwards!! richard falling asleep in the middle and having No idea of what just went down is also inexplicably hilarious to me!

those are strings, pinocchio: i mean. it’s the graduation episode. God. i just???? god. it’s such a great episode, there’s so many great moments, i just. 🥺

season four

the lorelais’ first day at yale: a great little titling parallel to chilton, but also, rory panicking when lorelai leaves is like. such a Thing ya know??? i just. yeah. i really like that ep it’s a nice introduction

the festival of living art: one, this show won its only emmy bc of the makeup, so that alone is great. uh, kirk being so adversary to the guy who plays judas is god tier humor! plus! sookie and jackson having their baby!

ted koppel’s big night out: THE FOOTBALL GAME EPISODE! i actually kind of love it, but more the first half than the latter; it’s such an emily and richard way to prepare for a football game, you know? and then meeting pennilyn lott! igniting the arc of emily and richard having doubts about their marriage which has Acting! Moments! but this also has jason and lorelai’s first date, which i Dislike, bc i Dislike Jason Very Much.

nag hammadi is where they found the gnostic gospels: seeing jess come back into town and you get to see how unfinished things are between him and rory..... the luke angst..... Yes.

the incredible sinking lorelais: a very realistic part of college, imo, in which you feel overwhelmed and anxious and EVERYTHING SUCKS NOW CAN I JUST CALL MY MOM, though i wish they’d set it up a bit more and followed it longer than an episode, and also that rory hadn’t gone to dean; but also, trix, and richard standing up to her, which!

scene in a mall: idk i just love this episode? seeing emily in her shopping element; seeing her break down in that way; seeing how shopping is like, one of her Only ways to execute power, and how she’s kind of jealous of lorelai’s career bc she was born into a generation where the only thing it was really acceptable for her to do was cultivate a husband and a nice house; plus!!! that last bit of emily and richard and the apples at the table just BREAKS your heart!!!

girls in bikinis, boys doin’ the twist: SPRING BREAAAAK which is so unexpected for paris and rory and therefore very funny. you get to see madeline and louise again—i actually really love their characters, lmao! paris and rory kiss! just! yeah!

tick, tick, tick, boom!/afterboom: another “idk i just enjoy it” episode. richard and floyd coming to a head; kirk’s easter egg hunt; seeing little davey. however i have some Words for rory because lindsay deserves better??? i understand that she could get a part time job but also MIND YOUR BUSINESS?????? dean’s the one taking classes! that’s an unnecessary expense! he has two jobs!! he’s allowed to take a pause!!! also i can’t believe i’m forced to defend dean right now!!! fuck asher, tho, but yay! breaking up with jason!!! yay breaking up with jason!!!!!!

luke can see her face/last week fights, this week tights: i can’t, okay??? i literally had to. the beginning of jess’ (admittedly mostly off-screen) development arc! luke and the self-help books! the absurdity of the renaissance wedding! the WEDDING DANCE!!! 

raincoats and recipes: truly an episode has never gone from such a “FUCK YESSSSSS FINALLY” scene to a “FUCK NOOOOOO WHAT ARE YOU DOINGGGGGG” but honestly it’s just. it’s Such a fantastic episode like i can’t

season five

written in the stars: their first date 🥺the horoscope 🥺”i am in, lorelai. i am all in.” 🥺 HER GOING DOWNSTAIRS IN JUST HIS SHIRT 🥺 HIM YELLING AT THE TOWN ABOUT HOW IT’S THEIR RELATIONSHIP AND NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS 🥺🥺🥺

we got us a pippi virgin: literally the concept alone of “nearly coming to blows via bop it” is great. also luke being like “rory is like pippi!” and showing off what a high regard he holds her in 🥺

emily says hello: LITERALLY so many great little things about this episode. emily deciding she wants to try dating! rory and christopher snapping at each other! KELLY BISHOP’S ACTING AFTER THE DATE WHEN SHE CLOSES THE DOOR ON HIM AND BURSTS INTO TEARS!!!!!!!

women of questionable morals: the dog. 

wedding bell blues: HUNDREDTH EPISODE couldn’t NOT make it on here, so here it is!!! luke and lorelai looking at each other when she’s next to the aisle! luke and christopher both yelling and logan—AcTING! also emily being so manipulative even on her second wedding day, it’s just So classically her, and kelly bishop and lauren graham in the final scene is just. Mwah!

so... good talk: rory literally stepping into lorelai’s shoes for a dinner and being the one to snap at emily and richard is Such a role reversal for her but honestly whenever it does happen i actually really enjoy seeing the dichotomy between the grandparents seeing rory as their perfect little second chance and lorelai seeing her as her mini-me and how rory walks the line between each. AND THAT ENDING KISS SCENE BETWEEN LUKE AND LORELAI????? I CAN’T?????

pulp friction: LORELAI CONTINUING TO ICE OUT EMILY AND RICHARD!!!!! the yelling scene at the diner!!!! plus seeing the chilton skirt come out again was nice imo i too have reused private schoolwear

season six (the season, admittedly, i have watched the least)

we’ve got magic to do: the outfits of the dar bash. paris’ sudden dedication to the proletariat. emily’s rant to shira. that is all

twenty-one is the loneliest number: them finally starting to talk; “this is luke, my soon-to-be-stepfather”; the pastor scene is also just. hilarious. but also so very richard and emily

let me hear your balalaikas ringing out: lorelai’s emotions toward paul anka being sick Oof and luke and the soccer team lmao but also JESS RETUUUUURNS!!!!! RORY SNAPS OUT OF IT!!!!!! FINALYYYYYYY!!!!

friday night’s alright for fighting: literally the montage of all of them intercut with fighting and them sitting in silence while the other two yell in the background to them laughing is just. Peak gilmore

this turned out..... even longer than expected lmao

#not ts #Anonymous #ask

[bi-hippie5]

Ghost of You |Ashton

Description: Ashton wrote Ghost of You after Y/N passes away

Masterlist

It had been two years and it still hurts like it was only yesterday. The pain of losing your soulmate is something Ashton doesn’t wish on his worst enemy. They were supposed to be together forever and everyone that met the couple agreed. Ashton’s world revolved around her from the day they met, they spent 8 years together and even longer just being friends. She moved in next door at age 5 and only a month later they spent all of their time together. Their mothers became instant friends allowing them to spend as much time at either house. By 14, Ashton started to see Y/N a little different then before, she wasn’t just his best friend she was becoming way more.

When they turned 16, Y/N kissed Ashton in the tree house her father had built her and that was it. They started dating after that moment and encouraged each other to follow their dreams. Ashton was there the day Y/N got into college, graduated and wrote her first novel. While Y/N was by his side when the band released both of their albums and waited at home as he traveled the world. They fought and screamed trying to work through the stress of life but they always found their way back to each other.

He proposed at 23 and no one was surprised when the next week they ran to the courthouse and eloped, not bothering with a big wedding. They already knew that the relationship they have built is forever but to have it down on paper and rings around their finger just added to it.

A few months later everything changed and Ashton saw his life crumble around him. All he heard was ringing in his ears as Y/N let out a sob in the doctor's office, grabbing tightly onto his hand. He didn’t know what to do, he was numb trying to make out the words the doctor just told him. The love of his life, his wife, his forever had breast cancer, the one thing he didn’t expect.

She got sick slowly and he was thankful that the boys took a break from music so he could stay home and take care of her. The cemo was a lot on her body spending most of her time sleeping or getting sick. He just wanted to take away her pain and make it all better.

-----

“Baby don’t cry, you will look so beautiful” Ashton places his lips against her forehead running his fingers through her long hair for the last time. She gripped onto his shirt letting her tears soak the fabric at the thought of losing all of her hair. Y/N knew that she had to shave it since it had started to fall out in clumps leaving bald spots. It was silly but her hair made her feel beautiful and feminime, the cancer had already taken away her breasts but now her hair. She took a deep breath downing the rest of her wine before giving him the okay.

He turned the razor on pressing it to her scalp as he started to shave her hair. It falls down at their feet along with her tears watching the long strands land below her. Ashton tried to be as fast as possible to get it over with, no turning back now. Once he was down he ran his hand over her now shaved head.

“My beautiful baby” he smiled placing kisses all over her head and face before moving away from the mirror. She couldn’t help but cry seeing her new look and at how terrible she felt not only physically but now emotionally. He didn’t know what to do, he has never seen her cry so much in their whole life together and it broke his heart.

“Ashton what the heck” she almost screams as he suddenly presses the razor to his own skin cutting a whole chunk of his hair off down the middle. She looked shocked as he kept going without even looking at her as he shaved the rest of his head. If she wasn’t gonna have any hair either was he and they will be the hot bald married couple.

She passed away six months later and he felt like his life was completely over.

----

It’s only been a years and half but the boys were still worried that he was going to crack at any moment. They had given him all the time he needed but after a few months he threw himself back into work. Spending long hours in the studio and writing and playing music trying to finish their come back album. He wanted to be distracted and try to find some type of happiness.

The album had done so well, better than anyone expected and it was the first time Ashton actually felt somewhat happy. He smiled and laughed with the boys as they did interviews, photo shoots and planned the biggest tour of their career. However, at night he felt selfish for being happy and laughing without her around. Mostly when discussing songs that he wrote about her.

Ashton sat silent the whole meeting as everyone discussed what songs to put on the setlist. It’s not like he didn’t care about it, just...trying to navigate through three albums of songs that he has written about her was killing him inside. He wanted to do what was best and most enjoyable for the fans tho.

“Put Ghost of You on the setlist” he finally spoke up for the first time. All of the boys looked at him shocked and surprised not really knowing what to say to the broken boy. Ghost of You had come a couple of months after she died. He was still staying at the house they shared and it felt like she was still around.

“Ash are you sure? We don’t have to” Luke spoke up first, remembering writing the song with his best friend.

“It’s fine, the fans love it and it’s our best slow song just do it” then he was getting up and leaving the room wanting to get some air. The other boys didn’t try to push him or argue with him not wanting to make him more upset. They just worried what playing it every night would do.

------

Tour started today and everyone was buzzing with excitement to finally get to play these new songs for a sold out crowd. Plus all of their families decided to come and celebrate which just made the experience way better. They were all getting ready in the dressing room when his siblings came running in tackling him in a hug with his mother right behind.

“Hi honey” she gives him a big kiss on the cheek saying hello to the other boys and their families. “Wait, Ashton I brought some very excited people with me” his mother chimed in with a huge smile lighting up her face. He looked behind his family and there stood Y/M/N and Y/D/N with the biggest smiles. He tried not to cry in front of everyone but he couldn’t help but let out a choked out sob when Y/N mother threw her arms around the tall boy collecting him into her arms. He held on so tight probably leaving stains on the older woman's shirt.

They hadn’t seen each other since after the funeral, they kept in touch calling every two weeks to check in. But to have them here in person on such an exciting day when Y/N should be here just hit him with emotions.

“Hey look at me honey” Y/M/N grabs his face in between her hands wiping away the tears on his cheek. “We both know that she would be so proud of you. Standing out in that crowd screaming every single word. You need to keep your head up because she's always going to be a part of you” he nods before giving her another tight hug.

For the first time in a year and half, Ashton felt generally happy, there was no guilt or pain to be felt. And when Ghost of You started to play he knew that you were with him and that he might never love again. But at least he got to love you.

#ashton irwin #ashton irwin imagine #5sos #5sos imagine #5sos preference #ashton #5sos one shot #ashton irwin one shot

[solohux]

@anonymous submitted: Okay so, canon-divergent A/B/O verse!

  Kylo Ren never returns to the Light and dies as Ben Solo. He never even entertains the plan that the old washed up Emperor put forth to him. So TROS goes very differently.... 

But the end result is this:- Palpatine dies early on. Pryde mutinies and Hux kills him. The Sith Fleet (Or whatever Palpatine's forces were called) still joins up with The First Order (After a brief civil war), but theirs no silly name change. The First Order and The Resistance get right down to business. Leia still dies. Theirs no stupid search for multiple magical macguffins. The Resistance sadly has no time to call in allies, so they lose badly to The First Order. Rey isn't stupid nor is she suicidal, so she gathers up everyone still alive at this point and gets the hell out of dodge. Poe is the distraction that she needed to make that happen. As a result, The First Order not only effectively wins the war, but Poe is captured as well! 

Here's where the A/B/O stuff comes in! 

Kylo refuses to allow Poe to be executed. He's "culled" The First Order's High Command pretty harshly over the last year of his Supreme Leadership, so few protest this decision. 

But those who do insist that the galactic public will soon be asking for a show of stability from their new government, so Kylo has to do something to reassure everyone that going forward all will be well. 

Welp, nothing soothes the public's fears of instability like a wedding! 

Kylo doesn't marry Poe, of course. That's what Hux is for! 

So Alpha and Omega are joined together in a big showy bonding ceremony. Hux isn't exactly thrilled, but he knows a good deal when he sees it. His position as Kylo's bondmate allows him access to reshape the galaxy as he always wanted to, plus the heirs that he bears for Kylo will assure that his bloodline will continue to influence the galaxy for generations to come! 

Their's no love lost on Kylo's end either. He cares little for Hux personally, but he's the best political choice and Kylo isn't overly picky about who will bear his heirs. 

Now as for Poe, Kylo (Forcibly I might add) takes him as a mistress of sorts. Hux knows about this and doesn't care. He and Kylo only ever have sex for the sake of reproduction. Once Hux bears the odd heir or two, he intends to go on suppressants for the rest of his reproductive life. 

Kylo refuses to go on Alpha suppressants. He hates how they make him feel (He thinks that they weaken his connection to The Force), always has done. He hasn't been on any suppressants ever since he left Luke and joined up with Snoke and he certainly doesn't intend to start taking them again! 

So that's what Poe's role is:- Being Kylo's fuck buddy when that itch of his needs scratching! 

Poe is VERY unhappy about this.  

He's treated well otherwise. His quarters are admittedly small, but they're comfortable. He never has food or drink withheld from him, no matter how mouthy he gets. Kylo makes sure that all of his clothes fit him and are made of nice fabrics. Etc and so forth. 

But any Omega would be unhappy about being denied suppressants, birth control and getting raped multiple times weekly. 

Poe makes his unhappiness clear, Kylo ignores it and takes what he wants every time.  

Eventually all of this sex has a consequence. Poe gets pregnant. He's distressed about the idea of bringing a pup into this situation, but obviously, Kylo doesn't allow him the option to terminate the pregnancy. 

In the end, Kylo isn't even there when Poe births his daughter. He's on the other side of the galaxy! He doesn't even get the chance to go see Poe until the pup is two weeks old.  

When he does come by, Poe is buried deep in the nest he made, curled around his pup. The former pilot gives Kylo hell for having the gall to get him pregnant and then miss the birth, but does eventually hand the pup over to Kylo to see. 

Kylo holds the pup in his arms so gently that it actually startles Poe, but the longer Kylo says nothing and stares at the pup, as if he's examining her.... the more nervous Poe gets. Forced upon him or not, the pup is an innocent in all of this and Poe has already bonded with her.

He loves his baby and a quiet voice in his head starts screaming, a leftover instinct from a more primitive age. A time when Alphas were desperately feared by Omegas as pup-killers, to the point the even Mates couldn't be completely trusted early on....  

Kylo must sense the place where Poe's mind is going, because he quickly hands the pup back to Poe and congratulates him on having borne a beautiful, healthy baby girl. He then inquires about what he named her. 

After a snarky retort, Poe reveals the name he gave his daughter:- Esperanza. 

Kylo snorts out a laugh. Of course Poe Dameron would name his child after the word for "Hope" in his mother's tongue. He should've known. 

Poe lashes out with his tongue once more, but Kylo puts a stop to that. He gets up and idly tells Poe to make the most of the time that he has with his daughter while he still can, because Kylo is going to send her to his Knights of Ren once she's weaned (AKA:- Two years old). 

As an illegitimate pup, Esperanza has no chance to inherit Kylo's titles when she comes of age. Her half-siblings will inherit everything. But Kylo has given her one gift by virtue of having been sired by him:- The Force. 

Any child of Kylo's will have some form of it and Poe isn't entirely Force Null himself. So Kylo always intended to send the pups he had with Poe off to be brought up and trained in the ways of The Force. And who better for the job than his loyal Knights? 

Poe doesn't see it that way. He freaks the fuck out. 

Kylo just shrugs and leaves him to it, he has a mate to see to. 

Poe seethes. Hux of all people sends him a gift basket for Esperanza (Hey, he knows what it's like to be a bastard child!). Kylo visits several times weekly. Poe begins plotting an escape plan.... 

The End! Or rather, you can decide how it all ends!

#submission #abo #tw noncon #tw rape #mpreg #omega poe #omega hux #alpha kylo #please not the end! #i hope poe and his beautiful baby escapes #maybe with hux’s help? he’ll risk it because he knows what it’s like #he’ll help a child if he can #even if it’s poe’s child #please? 😭❤️

[calumscalm]

favourite calm lyrics (sound & lyric wise because i’m an ass)

hello demons its ya girl got tagged by @bloodmoonclifford and @baldcalum. i listened to the album thrice back to back.. whew. i’m starting with kill my time because she got disrespected even though i see why she wasn’t on the album. if you see this and wanna do it say i tagged you lmao this rid me of all my energy also KJ you were right about that NITSW lyric...... oof

KILL MY TIME // sonically: “meet me downtown at the divebar.. you’re the only one that makes me feel alive” + “in a city full of lonely people i just... want you all to mySELF” lyrically: “i cant keep drowning in the shadows.... you’re the only one that matters.” FUCK YOU LUKE FUCK YOU FOR THAT

RED DESERT // sonically: “red, red desert; heal our blues” + “what a blessing, to feel your love”. like oof the way they harmonize... henny. also the AAAHHHHs in the background at the start of the second verse. lyrically: “won’t you leave all your fears at the edge of the world?” + “would you pack up all your bags, stay true to North? you’re the only one i’d do this for.”

NO SHAME // sonically: “aaaaaaaynngel, with the gun in your hand” lyrically: “go on replace me, when you’re craving somethin’ sweeter than the words i left in your mouth, go on & spit me out”. DAMN. SPITEFUL. also luke in his higher register, yum.

OLD ME // sonically: “devil at my door” + “i’m constantly reminded.. of all the compromises” listen i just love hearing luke play with his vocals. runs and riffs and head voice shit... TASTY. lyrically: “all of the mistakes i made, i made i made i made... whatever the price, i paid i paid i paid i paid.” that shit hurted.

EASIER // sonically: “i love-you-so-much-thatihateyou-right-now”... COME ON now. lyrically: “we really gotta do this now? right here, with all your friends around?”

TEETH // sonically:  “blood on my shirt, rose in my hand, you’re looking at me like you don’t know who i am. blood on my shirt, heart in my hand” lyrically: “don’t know if you love me or you want me dead”

ALSO PLEASE THE SHUT UP AND DRIVE INTERPOLATION? TASSSSSTE SHOUTOUT RIHANNA.

WILDFLOWER // sonically: “cause i know where tonight is goin’!” lyrically: “you know you are my favourite fantasy, a fatal love song”

BEST YEARS // sonically AND lyrically: “i’ll build a house out of the mess & all the broken pieces.”  +  “you did all these things for me when i was half a man for you”. ..after all the streaming during the first week i want yall to know i have never played this song again not even while listening for this post. it makes me very... melancholy in a very shania twain way (i say this bc she’s the only person who has songs i wanna make my wedding song. yes. a country singer. beat my ass.)

NOT IN THE SAME WAY // sonically: “we fuck then we fight then you call me a psycHO” +  “baby, i’m sick of sadness, & you’re sick of xanax” like i know you heard how that was sung. ALSO FUCK “pourin’ your pills down the sink, sayin’ it’s not what you think” is SO PAINFUL AND CALUM IN THE BACK? my days. lyrically: “hurricane [insert name]” ARE YOU JOKING

LOVER OF MINE // sonically: “dance around the living room, lose me in the sight of you” lyrically: “take all of me, deep to where your secrets hide, where we’ve been a thousand times.”

THIN WHITE LIES // sonically: “when the sun goes down, we all get lonely” + “just one more taste of you, my love” lyrically: “i don’t think i like me anymore, can someone tell me who i was before?”

LONELY HEART // sonically: “can i have a second chance, can i have another dance, can i start another life with you? when i wake up in a haze, and i haven’t slept in days.. you’re a thousand miles away..” GOD. GOD. PLUS IS THAT SIERRA HARMONIZING. lyrically: ‘if you can’t find another reason to stay...’  + “our house on fire, we’re burning, we dance inside, you’re hurting”

HIGH // sonically: the “da da da, da da da da da”s at the end of the song <3 lyrically: “i know i’ll never meet your expectations, but the picture that you paint of me looks better in your mind” - fucking fuck. you know when someone believes in you more than you believe in yourself? it hurts a lot. this lyric hurt.

#tag games #nad natters

[maevefiction]

Your Light in the Mist - Chapter 43

We departed London for LA on June 22nd, spent a single night in town, then flew out the following morning en route to Kauai. Since March, we’d divided our time between promo, work, checking in on wedding planning and enjoying London. By mid-April Manageall had reached eight thousand subscribers, and we’d outgrown both our server and office space. Phaedra and Diana had begun work on a downtown studio and gallery space they’d decided to go in on together, and they graciously upped their timeline for us so we could take over the ground floor attached to Prosper, with Prosper planning on overflowing into the basement-level by the start of 2017. There was construction to be completed by the end of summer which would upgrade both floors from open loft to more compartmentalized professional workspace, but Manageall’s infrastructure was easy to relocate upstairs and Trudy and I had become accustomed to working out in the open, as had our five employees, so we made do. A door had been put in place between my Prosper office and the Manageall area at the start of May, and the first day I stopped short and couldn’t remember which company I was doing my next task for, Luke and I sat down to discuss the best way to proceed. Prosper was growing rapidly, though not at the alarming rate Manageall was, and the deciding factor wound up being Trudy. In one scenario I had a Trudy that the company couldn’t function without, and in the other I was Trudy…so, surprisingly without hesitation, I agreed to turn the reins over, naming Trudy the Operations Manager of Manageall and keeping my own Trudy-ness with Prosper, where it was needed most.

Early June brought exciting news in the form of Simon screeching so loudly that Tom and I actually heard it through out bedroom wall, followed by a frantic knock at our door at nine AM on a Saturday… both of their chosen embryos had successfully implanted in Lisa’s uterus. They’d harvested ten eggs in total from the surrogate so far, with eight remaining viable after being fertilized…five with Luke’s sperm and three with Simon’s. She’d waited until she was twelve weeks in to tell them, just in case, and if everything continued to progress normally December would deliver the progeny of two of my very favorite people into the world.

There’d been no new developments on that front for Tom and me as yet, and while realistically I hadn’t expected there to have been, I still found myself occasionally drowning silently in anxiety over the matter. Mainly when Simon talked baby, which was essentially every moment he wasn’t talking wedding. Which also caused anxiety. As did the coffee, which I’d begun drinking because it was really the only thing that allowed me to pull off the illusion that I was a fully conscious, functional human being when in fact I was a bundle of nerves and exhausted because said nerves were keeping me up at night. Or on flights. Like this one. Wherein Tom was out cold next to me and I was telling myself that all this worrying bullshit wasn’t doing my fertility prospects any favors. I dug in my messenger bag for my phone, checked the calendar, and realized that my period was due in ten days or so, which made blaming everything I was feeling on PMS seem like the most logical choice. My cycle so far varied between 28 and 32 days, which also was, you know, less than helpful. A heavy sigh escaped me and I felt a thunk on the back of my aisle seat, followed by Simon poking his head around to whisper loudly in my ear.

“Maude! Wedding! Happy! Heavy sighing NOT ALLOWED!”

“Dude, you are NOT the boss of me. It’s my party and I’ll sigh if I want to. Wow, that was way funnier in my head.” I craned my neck to look at him. “Simon. I’m getting married in seven days and I’m pretty sure I’m losing my motherfucking mind.”

“Six days.”

I counted on my fingers. “No, it’s seven. Today’s the 22nd.”

He shoved his own phone in my face, the home screen displaying the current date and time prominently. “Sorry, sunshine. It’s the 23rd. Six days.”

“My god, I just looked at my calendar and I swear it said the 22nd. Six. Okay then. I’m just going to go lock myself in the bathroom now. And I’m not coming out until August. Maybe September. Have someone slip me cold cuts under the door.” I sighed again, then again.  “I’m a mess, Simon. Is this normal? Shouldn’t I be like Cinderella or some shit, all happy with mice or whatever? You are my wedding honor person, Simon. You’ve done this before. HELP. ME.”

The smirk on his face made me want to scream. “I love you, Maudiekins. Of course I’ll help you…but let me just take a minute or two to revel in the fact that I’m actually witnessing you admitting that you need my help, m’kay?”

“You know it’s not too late to find a replacement for you, right?”

He chuckled. “Honey, trust me…there isn’t another person walking this green earth that would take this job.” I rolled my eyes, though I knew his point was entirely valid. He reached around to take my hand. “Yes, it’s normal. You remember what I was like, don’t you? And don’t you DARE say I’m like that all the time even though I sort of am because that was way worse and you know it. It’s stressful. There’s all this pressure for it to be perfect because that moment is THE MOMENT, the one that everyone will view as a validation and valuation of how much you love each other and if it’s not perfect you mustn’t love each other enough…” I could feel my eyes widening and my chest beginning to tighten. “But what anyone else thinks DOES. NOT. MATTER. All that matters is the love you share with Sleeping Beauty there next to you. This wedding is for notifying the world that it’s forever, and that you’re so fucking thrilled about it that a massive celebration is required. Love shack, baby. You hired Melanie Hall so you could relax and enjoy the party. We’ve given her all she needs. She’s got this. So…RELAX.”

“Simon, if you don’t leap up out of your seat and start singing some Frankie Goes to Hollywood right now I’m going to be horribly disappointed.”

Pouting, he crossed his arms and leaned back. “Well now I WANT to but people are SLEEPING and it would be RUDE…thanks for NOTHING, so-called FRIEND.”

I held up my phone. “It’s going on the wedding karaoke list. Because I need to see that shit. Even more so since you’ll be wearing a purple suit. Also, thank you. I’ve been obsessing over everything lately and it’s harshed my mellow completely. And probably Melanie’s. I need to text her and apologize for checking in so often and wanting to going over the same details with her a million times…” He leaned forward again, placing one hand on either side of my head, gently guiding me to turn and look in Tom’s direction while whispering in my ear.

“Look at him. You’re marrying that man. Six days from now, he’ll be your husband him. Look, Maude. Look with your non-vampire eyes.” I snorted, readying a witty comeback, but then Tom smiled softly in his sleep and I thought of Outlander and Jamie and Claire and how I’d go back and forth in time over and over and over again until the end of everything just to see this man’s face once more, to hold him once more, to kiss him once more…and as I fought back tears Simon whispered one more sentence.

“It’ll happen for you, I know it will.”

He kissed my cheek and left me to my own devices, which included shoving my phone bag into my bag and staring at Tom while trying not to weep, overwhelmed by emotion and chastising myself for getting caught up in the little details while diminishing my joy in the process. Hopefully I hadn’t diminished any of his. Tom’s eyes flew open, and I knew he had no idea where he was or what was happening. I smiled, and he blinked several times, opening his arms to groggily wave me in for a squeeze. He got more than he bargained for, with me being unable to resist the urge to spring from my own seat and into his lap. His arms wrapped around me as he pulled me to his chest, burying his face in my hair as I rested my head on his shoulder, my legs hanging over the armrest, feet resting where my posterior had just been. We enjoyed each other in silence for a spell, until I broke it by lifting my head so we were eye to eye. I reached out, briefly caressing his jawline with my fingertips.

“I’m very sorry if I’ve been a complete killjoy lately.”

He tilted his head, puzzled. “You? I thought I’d been playing the part of the killjoy.”

“Dude, really?”

“Yes, really.”

I was genuinely puzzled, and concerned. I knew what been plaguing me, but had no idea that something had been bothering him. “Well, you haven’t, but…”

Smiling softly, he began rubbing my thigh. “Well YOU haven’t, but…”

My gaze turned downward, then rose to meet his again. “I let all the little things pile up in my mind where they grew and thrived in my brain soil and became big things and it eclipsed the amazing, wonderful things right in front of me. Little things like work and wedding planning and other people conceiving and not me and I’m glad that my stress wasn’t rubbing off on you or bringing you down but hey, what’s been on your mind?”

He grimaced, voice low so no one else could clearly hear it.  “I know that back in LA I said I wasn’t going to dwell on things and I haven’t been dwelling, exactly, but that evening has crossed my mind more than a few times and I’ve been worried that it’s been worrying you, but it appears it hasn’t, and I’m very glad for that. But boy, do I ever feel like a tit for not noticing that you WERE worried about other matters.”

“Same. Same, same, same plus some more same. And honestly, I did think about it for a week or two after, but then I got so busy that I couldn’t tell my ass from a hole in the ground and it went POOF. Right now, I’m just grateful nothing has come of it, and if the universe would please hold off until after the wedding to rain fuckery down upon us, I’d deeply appreciate it. But if not, whatever. Full steam ahead. Right?”

He laughed. “Right indeed. Nothing’s going to stop this train. I liked it, and I’m gonna put a ring on it.”

“Oh my god. Tom. Single Ladies. I…I…can’t even.” I dissolved into giggles, which inevitably led to both of us laugh-crying until the first class attendant came over to ask us if we needed anything, which was a passive-aggressive way of indicating that we weren’t being the passengers Mr. Rogers knew we could be. I slithered back into my own seat, allowing Tom to be the apologist. He beamed at her, one hand over his heart.

“Terribly sorry if we disturbed anyone. I’m afraid we’re a smidge more excitable than usual as the result of our upcoming nuptials.”

She returned the smile. “Oh my! Well then, congratulations in advance. When’s the big day?”

We answered in unison, as idiots in love often do. “The 29th.”

She laughed. “Perfectly in synch. Best of luck to you both!”

As she walked back down the aisle another attendant fell into step with her and I could make out the words ‘knew they were engaged’ and ‘had no idea it was happening so soon’ and ‘wow, a Kauai wedding’. Tom and I both turned to face each other, again speaking in unison.

“Shit.”

We’d kept the date under wraps all this time, yet managed to fuck it up in the space of two minutes when we were SO CLOSE to pulling the whole thing off under the radar. Two flight attendants, not a big deal, but if they each told two people, and so on, it would likely end up on social media somewhere. Which also wasn’t a big deal, but it could absolutely clog up the works with members of the press. I sighed.

“A quote from Hackers comes to mind – ‘Where are your brains, in your ass?’ to which I would respond that I doubt it because I think they are gone, baby, GONE. Luke’s gonna take my PR card away, and I don’t blame him one bit.”

I heard his deep chuckle from behind us, then him clearing his throat before he spoke. “Oh no I won’t. Mainly because I have no desire to perform your job functions, but also because I don’t think it’s a significant problem. I figured it was practically inevitable that someone from the hotel would let it slip, but this is better, in a way, because I’m aware of the leak when it’s still a potential leak.”

It was weird having a conversation with someone I couldn’t see, so I reclined my seat all the way back, much to Simon’s displeasure.

“Mauuuudeee you’re crushing my kneeeeesss.”

“Simon, you’d better be good or you’re going to surpass Tom and me and rocket into first place for the Most Annoying Passenger. Hmm, maybe there’s an award. You love awards!”

Luke laughed again, then kissed Simon on the cheek. “You’d best move your seat upright, Maude. We can discuss what, if anything, you want to after we land. You know how it is…if Simon’s unhappy…”

Simon chimed in, entirely too loudly. “EVERYONE IS UNHAPPY.”

As soon as I finished adjusting the seat, the flight attendant was back, asking Simon if he needed anything, and Tom and I dissolved once more into giggles, quiet giggles, that is, and when we finally sobered up he whispered in my ear.

“Don’t worry, my love. It’ll happen.” I felt his hand on my lower belly, thumb stroking up and down. “Who knows, it might already BE happening and we just don’t know it yet.”

I placed my hand over his as he rested his head on my shoulder. “Thomas, the eternal optimist. Thank you.”

He raised his head in order to place a single kiss behind my ear, then resumed snuggling. We spent the rest of the flight touching each other, even if it was just pinkies linking, and when the sunshine and warmth of Kauai connected with my skin as we disembarked, I felt like myself again. Or, rather, the self I’d re-discovered not quite twelve months ago. Grateful, and joyful. More than ready to celebrate the blessing this island had bestowed upon me…that sense of wholeness and completeness that finding someone to love who loves you back evokes. We held hands as we crossed the tarmac, then picked up our luggage, piled it into the Range Rover we’d rented, and headed for the Marriott, where friends and family would soon be joining us for what I hoped was one party of fucking epic proportions.

****************************************

We spent as much of the weekend as possible either on the beach or locked away in our room…not the honeymoon suite that had been recommended to us, but number 203, which we referred to as ‘ours’ in spite of the fact that countless strangers had stayed in it as well over the past year and would after we were gone. It was where we’d consummated our coupledom, and it was the only acceptable place to consummate our marriage as far as we were both concerned. I had my doubts that we’d make it out of Talk Story after our private ceremony – that bathroom would likely be calling my name – but Tom insisted that he’d hold out until we were back where we belonged. I figured it would be fun testing his resolve if nothing else, so I went with it.

Sunday was our last meeting with Melanie before the actual ‘day of’, and she’d done such an incredible job that I had nothing to add. The ceremony would take place at five PM, followed by an hour of hors d'oeuvres, then a sit-down family-style dinner. Ahi Poke salad would already be on the table, and Hawaiian Saimin Soup would be offered as soon as everyone was seated. The next course, and the only additional course other than cake, was set to include Chicken Hawaiian, Hawaiian Roast Beef, Kalua Pork, blackened Mahi Mahi, and, because I couldn’t help myself, fettuccine alfredo. No one had responded that they were vegan, but a chef would be available if we need anything last-minute. We’d chosen to go with mainly regional recipes since it technically was a ‘destination wedding’, and also because it was apparently unacceptable to serve chips, dip, pizza and bacon as a meal to people who’d travelled thousands of miles to share your special day. Fortunately, those things made for perfect appetizers…the universe created pizza bagels for a reason, and that reason was for me to snack on them and probably get sauce all over my dress. The cake…my god, the cake. The shop Melanie had chosen had been working on it for weeks, planning, creating a model, ensuring it would balance properly…it made my head spin. It had been Tom’s idea, inspired by our bookish centerpieces. There would be two four-tier round cakes, alternating layers of chocolate and vanilla, iced white and decorated to take on the appearance of a ring of books, the spines hand drawn, colored and lettered. One stack would have titles from my collection, the other from Tom’s, with a bookshelf ‘bridge’ from the top of one to the other that merged our favorites. In the center of the bridge there was to be an open book mini-cake decorated with the Tree of Life on one side, our names and the date on the other, and, of course, the bride and groom topper. We’d had those 3-D printed in our likeness, and Melanie had brought them with her for us to see, a choice I’m certain she regretted because she eventually had to ask us kindly but firmly to surrender them before they were damaged by our Wedding Preview Theater playtime.

Guests began arriving Monday morning, and a steady stream continued throughout the day. Tom’s family had been first, followed by Chris and Elsa, then Ben and Sophie, Robert and Susan, and a host of other folks I didn’t technically know but felt like I did because I’d seen them on the big screen, the small screen, or Tom had shown me pictures as we came up with our guest list. There were stories to go with the pictures, of course, for which I was grateful because I could almost match names with faces. Though we hadn’t seen anything leaked online, Luke had opted to send out a press release on Saturday in order to prevent the chaos of outlets scrambling for a scoop, and according to everyone who had turned up so far it was working. The media was camped out at the airport and the hotel, but were keeping their distance, allowing those who didn’t wish to pose pass by without being cajoled and/or yelled at. Tom and I hung around in the lobby between meals in order to be accessible. Most of the few folks I’d invited were also members of the wedding party…Trudy and Veronica, who had come to say hello and gone on to unpack in their rooms already, which left me waiting on Anne. Our final fittings were scheduled for 5:30 in one of the smaller conference rooms, and it was nearly ten after when I heard her shouting from across the lobby when she spotted me.

“MAUDIE! THERE YOU ARE!”

I hadn’t seen her in person since New Orleans, though we’d Skyped a few times…and then she’d talked to Tom almost as much as she’d spoken to me. The Vampire Chronicles project had shifted from a feature film to an episodic streaming venture, which Tom was on board with, but additional writing was required and he wouldn’t be able to begin shooting until late 2017 or early 2018. I left Tom with Chris Evans and jog-walked to meet her, surprised as always at the power behind the hugs of such a slender being when she embraced me. We released each other quickly, both leaning back to inspect the other’s outfit. She shook her head.

“You’re too thin. Are you eating? Don’t let the stress get to you, kiddo.”

My eyes rolled, and I allowed my head to loll back in exasperation. “Yes, I dropped some poundage. Not because I’m not eating, that’s for fucking sure. Personally, I believe the extreme increase in my physical activity over the past year is to blame. And coffee. And yeah, maybe stress. But mostly the activity. Which I don’t plan on modifying anytime soon, thank you very much.”

She laughed. “I wouldn’t if I were you, either.”

“Your endorsement is appreciated. Can we talk about the fact that you’re wearing a shirt with palm trees and coconuts printed all over it and Bermuda shorts and sandals right now? This might be the first time I’ve ever seen your legs.”

“Soon you’ll get a good look at my arms, too. And my back.” The bridesmaid dresses I’d chosen were deemed flattering by all the gals, made of silk chiffon in a gradient of green to purple from top to bottom. They were sleeveless, floor length with a semi-pleated skirt, ribbon at the waist and the neck and a cape that attached at the front throat area and hung over the left shoulder and covered most of the open back. The cape could easily be pinned to cover all of the back of the wearer chose, which I thought was important because not everyone deems going braless socially acceptable. Anne chuckled, looking down at herself, then back up at me. “I’m so pale I might have to write myself into the next book as a lost ancient. What a bonus that I’ll have pictures to work from!”

As I gazed past her shoulder I caught sight of Christopher, pulling a very full luggage dolly behind him. He waved as he drew closer, finally abandoning it to embrace me briefly.

“Maude, it’s been forever. You look beautiful. And, congratulations. Though you getting married has ramped up someone’s matchmaking efforts a hundred times over…” Anne reached out and tugged his earlobe, and he sighed. ”I’m going to just marry the first guy I see to put an end to it all, I guess.”

Tom’s voice sounded out from behind me. “So sorry, but I’m already spoken for.” He moved to stand at my side, his hand extended in greeting. “Hello, Christopher. Lovely to finally meet you.”

Christopher sighed, feigning exasperation. “The good ones are ALWAYS spoken for.” He reached out and shook Tom’s hand vigorously. “Lovely to meet you as well. Mom and I are delighted you’re still interested in stepping into the shoes of the Brat Prince. Knowing who’s portraying him has actually made it easier for us to get the scripts rolling.”

My mouth dropped open. “Wait, what? You’re BOTH working on this? Together? Writing.”

They exchanged a conspiratorial glance, then Anne grinned. “We are. It’s so much fun, especially because his style is so very different than mine, yet there are echoes…”

“Mother, the only echo is your voice throughout the house every time I try to sneak outside for a break. Seriously, Maude. She’s the most demanding boss I’ve ever had and…”

Anne cut him off, right index finger raised. “I’m the ONLY boss you’ve ever had.” As Christopher rolled his eyes and mouthed ‘see what I put up with’ in my direction, Anne stepped forward to hug Tom. “Hello there, handsome.”

He returned the hug, planting a kiss on each of her cheeks as he pulled away. She grinned up at him, and my phone beeped. I pulled it from my pocket and cleared the alarm. “We have to move it, lady, or we’ll be extra late for the fitting.”

She offered me her arm. “Let’s boogie, kiddo.”

Tom kissed me and lingered more than a few seconds too long, clearing his throat as he backed away sheepishly. “I’ll see you at dinner, my love.”

I nodded. “Yep. You sure will.”  He offered to help Christopher with the luggage, and they strode off in the opposite direction as Anne and I headed for the conference room. She poked me in the ribs.

“Maude, has anyone ever told you you’re a terrible liar?”

“Oh my god Anne, seriously? What are you, a wizard?”

“No, just incredibly perceptive. Plus, I’ve known you since you were ten.”

“Mmm hmm. God, I HATE lying to him. And I obviously suck at it. But his surprise bachelor party is tonight and I was sworn to secrecy. Of course he just HAD to say he’d see me. Fucker.” Ben had contacted me nearly two months earlier, asking if I was okay with the idea, and I’d said yes because even though Tom and I had agreed that neither of us wanted such a thing, the opportunities for all of them to be in the same place at the same time were incredibly limited, so why not take advantage of such a rare occurrence? I’d given Ben Melanie’s number, and she’d arranged everything. There’d be food, drink, and karaoke in the Makai Lounge…and I pitied the staff who’d thought it would be awesome to work the event because I had a feeling they were about to discover that it would be akin to dealing with a roomful of kindergartners who’d binged on chocolate espresso beans. The walk to the Hokulea Suite was a short one, and Simon was waiting impatiently in the doorway and wearing one of the hotel’s white terrycloth robes.

“Nice of you to grace us with your presence, future Mrs. Hiddleston. For a minute I thought you’d gotten cold feet…oh. Oh my god. Oh.”

With that, I knew he’d noticed my companion. Everyone was aware that Anne was in the bridal party, but no one had actually met her as yet. Simon, despite interacting with famous folk on a regular basis, was completely and thoroughly star struck at the sight of his favorite author in the flesh. I glanced her way, finding her smirking gleefully as Simon proceeded to lose his shit, right hand on his chest, which was heaving with excitement.

“Anne…can I call you Anne? Or do you prefer Ms. Rice? Oh my god. I’m SUCH a fan…a life-long fan…of your work and here you are and lordy I think I may die…” He began fanning his face with the hand that had previously rested upon his chest, and Anne went right in for the kill, stepping forward and wrapping her arms around him, then kissing him on the cheek.

“Dearest Simon, Anne will do just fine. Maudie has told me so much about you, and goodness, I’m just the luckiest woman to have such devoted fans. Bless you for supporting my work.” He stood, blinking, as she continued. “Part of that ‘told me so much about you’ was how entertaining and hilarious you are. And petty. Let’s just say I’m very much looking forward to getting to know you myself.”

His mouth dropped open and a screechy cackle escaped him as he threw his arms around her, one finger pointing at me from behind her back. “You’ve been replaced. Anne is my new bestest friend ever.”  

I gave him a double thumbs-up. “Fucking A, man. You are EXHAUSTING.”

Faces began to appear behind him, first Trudy, then Emma, then Sarah…at which point I pushed past the new dynamic duo and entered the suite. It wasn’t huge, 24’ x 18’ or so, but it was a wide open space beyond the private bathroom and kitchen right inside the door, on the left and right respectively. It was ours for the duration of our stay and would serve as the dressing area the day of the ceremony. Two couches had been placed along the shared walls of the bathroom and kitchen, facing the rest of the room. The remainder of my bridal party leapt off of said couches and proceeded to embrace me all at once, and I’m certain the look on my face was one of sheer terror as they squealed with delight. I heard Simon’s voice as he drew closer.

“Ladies, ladies, what did we discuss earlier? The bride must be approached cautiosly, VERY cautiously. She’s anxiety ridden, easily overwhelmed and if her flight or fight kicks in we could all be in really deep shit. Back away now, and do it slowly. Don’t be distracted by the fact that Anne Rice is, like, RIGHT HERE.”

They turned away, releasing me, and I waited a beat for Simon to introduce everyone. He just stood there staring at her, enraptured, so I figured I’d best do it on my own.

“Anne, this is Trudy, Veronica, Emma and Sarah.” I wave-pointed in their direction. “You people, this is Anne. I’m going to use the restroom now. Chat away.”

The room had begun to buzz with the sounds of excited conversation as I closed the door behind me. I quickly did my business, then splashed cold water on my face, pausing to take a breath as I started at my reflection. The lighting didn’t do me any favors, and I groaned while attempting to figure out if I looked pale because of the dark circles, or if the circles looked dark because I was, in fact, pale. Veronica, who had been instrumental in the process of choosing every item of clothing worn by bridesmaids and groomsmen alike, had brought her favorite hair and makeup people along, for which I was now all kinds of glad. I leaned in closer, my nose almost touching the mirror.

“You look like you’ve been out on the town for two days straight, woman. Sleep. Look into it. Christ.”

Simon shouted unnecessarily loudly from outside the door. “MAUDE! STOP TALKING TO YOURSELF AND GET OUT HERE SO YOU CAN PUT ON THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WEDDING DRESS IN THE HISTORY OF ALL WEDDING DRESSES BECAUSE I NEED TO SEE YOU IN IT!”

I opened the door just enough to stick my hand out and flipped him off. He snorted.

“Anne, she’s being rude. Make her stop.”

Sighing, I opened the door the rest of the way and stepped back into the entry area, pretending he didn’t exist as I walked back to the open space. Seven privacy screens had been set up along the edges of the room, and I had no clue which one was mine until Veronica poked her head out from around the one furthest away and waved at me.

“Honey, come on back. My dress is good to go, so you’re up.”

On a rack against the wall behind the screen, there it was. The Dress. After discovering that such a thing as a convertible day-to-night design existed, I’d scoured the internet for weeks in search of one that didn’t look like it belonged in a Disney movie. And then, on someone’s Pinterest board, there it was. The Dress. Next was the task of determining where the image had originated from, and two reverse searches later I’d located the Israeli designer. Made of crepe and satin, it was form fitting and thigh-length with a boat-neck front and deep open V to the waist in the back. The sides were crepe, and there was a satin strip with a subtle lace overlay that ran down the front. There were no sleeves, per se, only triangular pieces of fabric that mimicked epaulets and went over the shoulder and down the sides of the back in a sort of obtuse triangle. In the front, just above the chest area, were two inverted triangle cut-outs beneath the shoulder caps, creating a futuristic geometric silhouette – straight across at the collarbone, angling in, then back out again at the breast. That, though, was the ‘night’ bit of it. The day part consisted of a lightly-pleated crepe maxi-skirt that hung to the floor with a short train in the back and a slit all the way up to the pelvic area in the front. And, it had pockets. POCKETS. I knew it was perfect the moment I saw it, I knew it would make me feel amazing, and, right now, it made me burst into tears. I wiped them off my cheeks quickly, waving Veronica away as she moved to comfort me.

“Shit. Sorry.  I’m fine. It’s just…it’s so…beautiful. And you’re beautiful for doing all this for me, and I’m marrying such a beautiful man in such a beautiful place…”

She placed a hand on my shoulder. “And YOU are beautiful, and you’re going to be BEYOND beautiful on Wednesday. Now strip for me, sweetie. Off with it all.” I snorted as I slipped out of my shorts. “Oh, and you’ll be pleased to know that I managed to find someone able to add some support to the front for you so you can be braless minus the sag AND pasties.”

I pulled my Game of Thrones T-shirt over my head and dropped it onto the floor, then undid my bra and slipped out of my shorts. “Well that’s good news. That pastie glue sucks, and hard.”

She nodded as I removed my Birkis, holding the dress out for me to step into, then helped me slip my arms through the holes. “Did it for all of the bridesmaids, too. They’re removable if need be, too. Stay still while I zip you up.”

It was a tiny zipper at the back near my waist, the rest of the dress very form-fitting and essentially holding itself in place. The support lining was much like a bathing suit, and it helped immensely. When prompted, I lifted first one foot, then the other, trying not to breathe as Veronica wiggled the maxi-skirt into place around my waist. She stepped back, one hand moving upward, fingers open and partially covering her mouth.

“You look like a princess, Maude. Royal.”

Gazing down at myself, I snorted. “More like the Royal Princess. The cruise ship. It’s all so…white. And…vast. And WHITE. Can I get one of those awesomely loud horns to blast as I walk down the aisle?”

Frowning at me, she grasped my upper arms gently and turned me around to face the mirror. I stared at my reflection, realizing she was correct. My head snapped to the left, noting her concern as our eyes met.

“Veronica, I DO look like a princess. Absofuckingloutely I do. Princess LEIA. You know, that dress she wears at the end of A New Hope? During the medal ceremony? I mean, this is a different cut and it’s got some lace and whatever but…okay fine, it’s totally different, but she’s who came to mind when I saw myself and have I mentioned how much I loved The Force Awakens and Leia’s a GENERAL now and…yep, this needs to come of immediately because I’m going to cry again and shit…well not actually shit…”

Simon voice rang out from the other side of the screen. “For fuck’s sake, is she losing it again? No worries, me to the rescue…” He stepped into view, stunned into silence at the sight of me. Like everyone else in the bridal party except for Veronica, he’d only seen photos of my gown. A smile spread across his face, slowly, eyes shining with tears about to be shed. His voice was uncharacteristically soft, one hand lifted up to rest next to his face, his fingers splayed.

“Maude Gallagher, you’re so beautiful I can’t even look at you. It’s like staring at the sun.”  The smile morphed into an evil grin. “Tom is going to DIE. Or at least pass out. For real. Have the paramedics on standby.’

I bit my lip, sniffling in a very un-princess like manner. “This does not feel like a rescue, Simon. I guess I’ll have to rescue myself, just like LEIA.” The laugh-crying began then, leaving Veronica scrambling to wrap a disposable protective cape the make-up team typically used around me. At some point I noticed that Simon was wearing his suit…his light purple suit, just a few shades off from the official wedding purple. It was linen, the jacket sporting two white pearl buttons, three side pockets, a breast pocket with a white square perfectly folded in place, and pointed lapels. Underneath was an open-collared white dress shirt with dark purple buttons. There would be a purple bow tie the day of, but no socks to accompany his white leather shoes, which were dotted along the seams with ventilation holes. He smiled, and I wiped away my tears again, this time with the back of one hand.

“You look okay too, Simon. I guess.” His eyebrows rose, then he turned on his heel and sauntered toward his own changing area, calling back to me when he was halfway there.

“Not good, Maude. Fabulous. You meant FAB-U-LOUS.”

I called out in return. “I love you, dumbass.”

He snorted and flipped double birds at me behind his back, which for some reason restored my emotional equilibrium. Veronica helped me into my silver gladiator sandals…they were flats, incredibly simple and lightweight, with ties that wound up to nearly reach my knees. We’d all be wearing them, since they paired well with our dresses, and were also wicked comfortable. And, awesome for dancing. I panicked again for a moment, speeding through my mental checklist to determine if I’d remembered to send the song playlist to Sammy, relieved when I could actually recall doing so weeks prior. Veronica pinched and prodded and examined me from all angles, announcing afterward that no additional alterations would be needed. She’d travelled to London once the dresses had arrived from Israel and done the initial fitting, and her skills proved to be impressive as always…right on the money, right from the start. Once I was successfully disrobed and back into my shorts and T-shirt, I padded over to sit on one of the couches and put my Birkis back on. The others were done shortly thereafter, and I’d prepared myself in advance for what I thought might happen next. Simon plopped down next to me.

“Soooo, Miss Maude, since your betrothed is going to be out living it up tonight, we thought we’d ask if you wanted to do…you know…something. Dinner? Dessert? Dancing? All the ‘D’ things? Hmm???”

I smiled, shaking my head. “I very much appreciate the thought, and I’m going to be pissed off at myself at some point for passing up an opportunity for free food, but tonight…I’m just going to go back to my room and kinda…peace out. Put everything on pause. Reflect. Right after I finish writing the vows I should have finished months ago, that is. Or, you know, START writing them. So thank you, kind friends, but I fear I must beg off this time around.”

Simon leaned in to kiss my cheek. “It’s better to wait until the last minute. Your perspective of what you’re about to do is entirely different, fresher. And your feelings…stronger. I can’t wait to hear what your heart conjures up.” He snorted.  “But hey, no pressure!”

Hugs from everyone followed, and they headed off in search of a meal while I took the stairs up to room 203. The first item of business after entering was opening the balcony doors. We’d requested lounge chairs, and the promise of staring out at the water before it got dark was going to serve as my motivation for getting the vow thing out of the way. I sat at the desk, laptop open in front of me, blank Word document ready to go…and then it occurred to me that I couldn’t print anything without a hassle, that I’d need to memorize it all anyway, and that I actually needed TWO versions of vows. As I laughed manically at my current predicament, Simon’s words popped into my head – ‘what your heart conjures up’ – and I decided fuck preparing in advance, I was just going to wing it. It might wind up being messy, long, incoherent…but it would be REAL. Which seemed important, to me, in that moment. Some things are meant to be off script. Improvised. Imperfect. Like our lives.

I ordered in a pizza, tipped the delivery guy entirely too much, ate half of it, then settled into one of the loungers. As long as I kept the back upright I could see the ocean clearly, as well as a decent slice of the sand. Activity was minimal as it was still technically dinner time, and the sun would be going down within the hour. Other than an occasional distant shout or muffled conversation from those crossing the property near the ground floor patios below me, the sounds of the waves breaking and the birds singing were all I heard. As I breathed in the salt air, I could feel the corners of my mouth turning upward. As it grew darker, a sense of great peace washed over me. Worries faded, anxiety dissipated, and it was just…me, alone for the first time in a long while, able to view things with a logic and rationality that was often absent when my introverted self spent too much time with the humans sans a sufficient break.

Chuckling, I quoted the Dude to myself. “I can’t be worried about that shit. Life goes on, man.”

After the sun set fully, I used the bathroom, turned off all the lights in the room, then used the conveniently provided hotel matches to light the three cylindrical candles on the patio table. I’d left my phone in the room, but went back in to retrieve it just in case Tom decided to tipsy-text me. Or plain text me. I honestly didn’t know how he’d approach this time with his friends, but I was expecting him to at least have a few beers or a whiskey or two. Someone having to carry him back to the room at the end of the night was certainly within the realm of possibility.

Once the stars came out, I lowered the back of the lounge chair enough so I could gaze upon them without craning my neck, and the next thing I knew I was being carried into a well-lit space and lowered onto the bed by a gorgeous man. I reached upward, patting his cheek sleepily.

“Tommy. You’re not s’posed to carry me over thresholds until after we’re married, ya silly.”

He grinned as he sat down next to me. “Well, after four unsuccessful attempts to rouse you, this was really my only option.”

I sat up, groaning. “Seriously? Wow. That’s crazy. I guess I really took the whole ‘peace out’ thing to heart.” His head tilted in confusion. “Oh. Right. You weren’t at the fitting. They asked me to go out tonight, but I said I was going to come back here and peace out. Mission accomplished, I guess. Did you have fun? Oh my god, WHAT is on your SHIRT?”

He was wearing a white tee, with an old fashioned ‘wanted’ poster printed on the front…his smiling face as the mug shot, with jail cell bars over the top and the word ‘CAPTURED’ emblazoned across it all. Smirking, he turned his back to me, where there was a photo from Luke and Simon’s wedding of both of us making goofy faces for the camera, the text beneath it stating ‘Perfect Match Is Perfect’.

Snorting, I poked his chest. “Well, I was all set to be mildly offended but the back is adorable…”

His lips met mine, tongue seeking entrance. He tasted faintly of whiskey, but mainly of smoky, peppery pineapple. I laughed, causing him to pull away.

“Dare I ask what’s so amusing?”

“Pineapple pizza, huh?”

He smiled, touching a fingertip to my nose. “You’re truly missing out, you know. It’s delicious.”

“Oh, it may be…but it’s an ABOMINATION. Wrong. So very wrong.”

Licking his lips, he leaned forward so his left shoulder touched my right. “Thank you, for tonight. It was such a wonderful surprise, and I’m not sure we’ve ever all been together like this when we weren’t filming. We had a spectacular time, though I’m afraid even the guests on the top floor heard us…”

“You’re welcome. I figured it might be a once in a great while kinda thing, and Ben was so gracious when he asked that I couldn’t say no. I hated lying to you, though.”

His arms wound around me, and I reciprocated. He grinned. “I apologize unreservedly for causing you to have to do so. Perhaps an orgasm or two will somehow rectify the situation?”

My face scrunched up. “Mmm…how about six?”

He clucked his tongue at me. “Now, now. No need to be greedy.”

“It’s not greed. It’s ambition.”

“Well, that has merit. We’d best get at it, then.”

I pulled the hem of his shirt upward. “Agreed. Totally. Let’s get at it.”

Four hours, one very long shower, and barely any sleep later we were startled by the sound of someone pounding on our room door. I sat up, glancing at the clock on the night table…ten minutes after six. I turned back to Tom, who was already standing and pulling on the shorts he’d worn yesterday.

“What the actual fuck? That’s like, ridiculously loud for so early…” Tossing aside the covers, I got up and grabbed my black silk robe out of the armoire and slipped into it quickly. Tom, shirtless, beat me to the door, opening it cautiously. Standing in the hallway was Luke, his jaw set, eyes blazing, phone in hand. He pushed past Tom, then closed the door behind him.

“She did it. This morning. It’s everywhere. I wanted you to hear it from me first.” He held out his phone for Tom and me to see. He had the Daily Mail pulled up, the featured top story showing.

FIFTY SHADES OF SEXCAPADES – Claudia Heidrich, 25, former flame of Tom Hiddleston, 35, reveals just how he managed her nights by posting DOZENS of videos of the couple online, exposing his penchant for heavy drinking, swinging, threesomes, foursomes and moresomes, public sex and BDSM just as he’s set to wed fiancé Maude Gallagher, 38, TOMORROW.

#your light in the mist #chapter 43

[choco-chip-cookie]

BabyDaddy!Cal Pt.1

A/N: AHHHHHHHH, I told y'all I’d be back for a sequel. I’m hoping this sequel gets just as much attention as the first series did, so I’m keeping my fingers crossed. If you’ve read the first series, then you already know that I’m all about drama and that’s exactly what this series is gonna be. Anyway, this is the first chapter and you all should look forward for many to come. If you’ve read the first series you know that I need 100 notes and feedback for the next chapter. Enjoy my lil nuggets💕

Oh and most of this chapter is in italics because they’re flashbacks.

**WARNING**: Nothing besides profanity, but I’m sure you knew that

**Previous Series: SugarDaddy!Cal **(Read this first)

Parts: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty{END}

The moment you found out you were pregnant you knew that shit was about to hit the fan.You weren’t just the average twenty year old, barely financially stable college student. No. You were also the girlfriend of a famous rockstar who is in a world famous band. Plus, you also happened to sleep with his best friend and bandmate before finding out you were pregnant, therefore have no clue who’s baby it is. On top of that you were being watched, loved, and even hated by millions of people daily. Oh, and how could you forget that you were helping your best friends plan their wedding as well? Life couldn’t be any better right?

So, here you are in your living room trying to ignore your overwhelming emotions by catching up on Supernatural and eating for two while your boyfriend is out somewhere angrily driving around on the streets. Oh, and what led him to doing that was catastrophic.

Let’s start from the very beginning, shall we? Only three weeks after you first found out about the new life growing inside of you.

“Wait….so, you’re pregnant?”

“Yes.”

“And you have no idea who’s baby it is?”

“Nope.”

“Well fuck.” Ashton said with a starstruck expression, sliding his hands over his face and leaning back in his seat.

You had decided to tell the most mature member of the band about your mishap, figuring that he would be the only who  could help you at the moment. Connor and Felix had only been telling you to tell Calum, as well as been caught up in planning their dream wedding. It didn’t help that finals were approaching as well, so the three of you were drowning in essays and classes. You had texted Ashton to let him know that you needed to meet up ASAP,  so here you were in the furthest corner of Starbucks conversing.

“Yeah, ain’t this some shit?” You sighed, pushing a few coily strands from you face.

“Have you told Calum?”

“Of course not, Ash.”

Ashton groaned and ran his fingers through his newly bleached locks, chewing his lip nervously.“How many months along are you?”

“Uh…I was a month and a week when I found out sooo…” You thought out the time in your head.“two months.”

“Are you gonna keep it?” Ashton knew that he was asking a lot of questions, but he couldn’t help it. This was going to go horribly wrong no matter what happened and you both knew that.

“The hell you mean? Of course Imma keep it.”

“Okay, okay, I’m just making sure.” The boy held his hands up in defense.“Well, how the hell are we going to hide this if you won’t tell him.”

“That’s why I called you. I most likely won’t be able to hide it when three months hits. I just look like I’ve gained some weight at the moment.” You demonstrated by turning to the side and showing him the slight pudge.

“Yep, definitely have to tell him soon.” He confirmed.“Uh, wow. Thanks for putting this weight on me.”

“Aww, you’re welcome.” You smiled and the older boy rolled his eyes.“I’m glad I don’t have to stress alone.”

After that day, Ashton had been the one helping you out. He’d be with you for the few doctor appointments you’ve had, when you had cravings that you couldn’t or didn’t feel like getting yourself, and most of all helping you hide your secret. You thought all was well, but Calum on the other hand was on edge. He didn’t know what he was so on edge about, however, but he was. You had suddenly began to invest all of your time into Ashton, hardly paying the Māori boy any attention. Calum was lucky to even get a peck or a text back from you nowadays. He didn’t know what was happening, all he did know was that he had only gotten you for barely even three months and he felt as if he was already losing you. That feeling is what led him to drinking on Michael couch at one in the morning.

“I don’t know, man. She’s just been so distant lately.” Calum sighed out as he took a sip of his beer.“Its nerve wrecking.”

“Why, though? It’s just Ashton.” Michael shrugged his shoulders.

“Yeah, and I used to think "It’s just Luke” until she had sex with him.“ Calum laughed coldly and Michael understood his point, but couldn’t help but to put up and argument.

"Yeah, but they were both drunk and grieving from relationship problems. She thought you were with that obsessive chick and that you moved on. Besides, Ashton definitely wouldn’t do that to you, mate.”

“Maybe.”

There was a long silence as they watched the people pass a soccer ball to each other on the large flat screen hung on Michael wall. After the blonde took the final few sips of his beer, he sat it onto the coffee table and decided to voice his opinion on the matter.

“You know what I think?”

“I’m not sure I want to know.” Calum joked.“What’s runnin’ through that thick skull of yours, mate?”

“I think Y/N’s pregnant.”

Calum coughed and spluttered as he choked on the alcoholic beverage, not expecting those words to fall from his friend’s lips.

“What?”

“I mean, think about it. She’s been distant, hanging out a lot with the most mature friend she’s probably got, and you two have tons of sex.”

“We do no-”

“I swear you’re reincarnations of rabbits, Cal.” Michael joked with seriousness and the Calum laughed.“ No, but seriously. You said she’s been sick and moodier, plus it looks like she’s gained some weight.”

“I don’t think she has.”

“How do you see her naked nearly twenty four hours a day and not notice she’s gained weight? What’s wrong with you?”

Calum rolled his eyes as Michael opened his laptop to pull-up recent photos on your Instagram. He scrolled down a few weeks ago and opened the picture in a new tab and then clicked the latest one you had uploaded. Once he put the pictures side by side, Calum immediately noticed the difference. It wasn’t completely noticeable, but once Michael had drawn attention to it it was very apparent to him.

“Do you see?”

“Oh my God.”

“I’m not saying it’s a hundred percent, but it’s something.” Michael shrugged his shoulders and got more comfortable on his couch.

Moments like these reminded Calum why he kept telling himself that Michael wasn’t as dumb as he like to tease him about. He might have been a doofus ninety percent of the time, but he had his genius moments. Calum had decided to text you right then and there to question you, praying that you’d reply.

~ Cal: Babe, I have a serious question •• 10 min later •• ~ Y/N: ..okay?? ~ So uh, me and Mike were talking about how you’ve been sick recently right? ~ Right ~ Then he pointed out that you’ve been gaining some weight lately and uh.. ~ Damn….Ik I’ve been eating more and gaining a lil weight, but you ain’t gotta draw attention to it ~ No no no, don’t take offense I’m sorry ~ Lowkey just hurt my feelins, lmaoo ~ My bf just told me I’m getting too fat ~ No, Y/N, babe that’s no what I meant I swear ~ You still look amazing, I promise it’s just…me and Michael were thinking that maybe you’re pregnant? ~ ….Tf? ~ I mean we do have a lot of sex and Ik you’re on the pill, but it’s a possibility ~ Cal I just had my period ~ I’m not pregnant, just eating good ~ Well okay…I love you ~ I love you too, you ass

Although Calum felt relieved and could enjoy the rest of his night, your nerves were sky high as you frantically texted Ashton that the boys were on to you. About thirty minutes later Ashton hadn’t calmed your nerves, but only made them worse as he told you that you were going to tell both Calum and Luke about your pregnancy. Now that leads us to what caused Calum to roam the streets in the wee hours of the morning.

You were all gathered in Michael backyard as you ate takeout on the freshly cut grass. Even Connor and Felix had came around for the small get together. The two lovers had become pretty close with the guys as well, mainly being party buddies - specifically Connor. You were enjoying stuffing your face as you sat between Calum’s legs until Ashton reminded you of what you were actually here to do.

“Well, curly top has an announcement to make.”

“Ashton!”

“That’s why we’re really here, Y/N. Don’t act surprised.”

“Suck my dick.” You rolled your eyes as you crawled away from Calum and the blonde snorted.

“Cal does that enough for us all.”

“What’s the announcement, babe?” Calum questioned as you distanced yourself further and further away from him, not wanting to be directly beside him when you gave out the news.

By now both Conor and Felix had realized what you were going to be announcing since they were the first to know. The two guys also realized that Ashton must’ve known as well, which was why you spent so much time with him while they were absent. You were wringing your hands together nervously as your mentally prepared yourself for what could possibly happen once the words leave your lips.

“So, I uh…I’m sure you’ve noticed I’ve been spending a lot of time with Ashton lately, Calum and-”

“You’re not cheating on me right?” He interrupted and you frantically shook your head no, allowing him to let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Of course not, he’s just been helping me out with a problem.”

“What’s the-”

“If you let me finish, you’ll find out.” You sassed and he nodded his head, a slight blush appearing on his cheeks when his friends stifled their laughter.

Taking a deep breath you continued,“I went to the doctor and found out that uh…I’m pregnant. Two and a half months pregnant at the moment.” You smiled nervously.

Calum’s eyes widened in shock as he let what you said soak into his brain before he shot up and pulled you to his chest, spinning you around swiftly. Michael was shouting about him knowing it proudly while Luke laughed and congratulated his friend.

“Holy shit, I’m gonna be a dad? This is fucking crazy!” Calum grinned, pulling back to see your expression. You just knew that he was going to be heartbroken in the next few moments, and clearly that expression was noticeable. “What’s wrong, babe?”

“I uh…I-I don’t know if it’s yours.” You spoke quietly and saw him furrow his eyes brows in confusion.

“W-What do you mean you don’t know if it’s mine?” Calum’s eyes studied your face trying to see if it was some joke, but knowing it wasn’t when he saw the tears of fear in your eyes.“Wait, you’re serious?”

“Cal, I’m sorry.”

He pulled away from you with an angered expression, his mind all over the place from the news.“Who elses could it be? Who else did you sleep with?”

Just at that moment everyone’s eyes turned to Luke and it dawned on both him and Calum that he was the other person. That you were possibly carrying his child. You all watched as the youngest band member’s eyes slowly widened at the realization, his world pausing for a few seconds.

“No. No, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Calum shook his head.“Hell no! You can’t possibly be- oh my God.”

Calum could feel his heart clenching at the thought. You just might be possibly carrying Luke’s baby. His girlfriend just may be pregnant with his best friends baby. Calum could only see red as he was suddenly charging at Luke and within seconds had him on the ground, repeatedly punching him. Luke, however, put up a good fight although he knew he sort of deserved this. Ashton roughly pulled Calum away whilst Michael had taken care of Luke, yelling at the both of them to calm down. Michael was getting through to Luke, but Calum was livid.

“How dare you take away the only person I truly love in life? Why would you fuck up something this big for me?!”

“It’s not like I did it on fucking purpose!” Luke argued back.

“Guys, we don’t even know who the baby’s father is yet.” Connor joined in trying to get them to calm down as well.“Most likely it’s Calum’s anyway, they’ve had sex who knows how many times.”

“Yeah, but it only takes that one time to get pregnant.” Michael pointed out and Connor shrugged and took a sip of his drink.

While everyone was arguing, you had took a seat in the grass to try to calm your nerves. This was too much for you at the moment and you had suddenly felt dizzy due to the amount of stress your body was in. You looked up when you felt a tap on your shoulder, smiling kindly as Felix handed you a bottled water.

“Thanks.”

“Could you all just kind of…calm down? This stress isn’t good for, Y/N.” Felix spoke up and everyone quieted down.

Calum broke free from Ashton’s strong grip and walked towards you. Honestly, you were quite scared as to what he would say to you, praying to God that he wasn’t going to leave you.

He simply held out his hand and said,“Give me my keys.”

“Where are you going?”

“Just give me my fucking keys, Y/N!”

The tone of his voice made you jump and you frantically went to pull the keys out of your pocket. Never have you ever actually listened to someone, let alone been afraid of someone when they used that tone on you. Then again, you’ve never heard Calum’s voice sound so cold and free of emotion.

“Where are you going?”

“Fuck you.” Was what he answered with as he stormed around the side of the house and disappeared into the darkness. You all could hear the sound of his car starting up and speeding away as you stood in an awkward silence.

So, again here you were watching tv and feeding yourself tortilla chips and salsa to somewhat make you feel better. Your night had been probably the worst you’ve had in a while, so when there was a loud knock at your door, you didn’t know who to expect. Standing to your feet you slowly walked towards the door, thinking about how the person even got buzzed in. When you opened it, you were surprised to see the boy who had been missing for hours on end.

“We need to talk.”

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