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bonebrokebuddy · 2 months

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@kodedgeekthings eyo you mentioned wanting a dpxdc prompt for Howard, Batman’s mechanic!

Harold misses fixing toys for kids and in his off hours has taken up the habit of answering questions on forums about machining, electrical, engineering, mechanics, and mechanical design that are often frequented by students.

One day, he comes across a request by a college student who is trying to assemble his own car out of scrap he bought from a local wrecking yard.

Ghostly_Boy states that he has previous experience in machining and can make replacements for broken or too-damaged parts if need be, but he doesn’t know where to start and what specific requirements he needs to reach to ensure it’s street legal.

Harold willing to help, he answers a few of Ghostly Boy’s clarifying questions:

- Great questions!

It’s good to note that if you’re not careful, fixing or making your own car from parts can be a moneysink and can cost you more than a brand new vehicle. - That being said, your first major step to ensuring you can drive the car is to get the title of the body/frame of the car you plan to build. It’ll have the VIN on a plate welded to the frame usually near the lower edge of the windshield wipers on the drivers side. It’s how the DMV identifies vehicles for licensing.

- Generally, you’ll at first get a “wreck out” title that shows the vehicle is listed as a total loss, but if you can assemble the parts for the car with that frame, the DMV can check if it’s properly running and road worthy & license for you to use it on public roads if you’ve done the proper paperwork.

- Once that is done, it’s largely a case of getting the right parts and assembling them. Depending on how much you have to repair, you could be taking on a task that could give a challenge to even a seasoned mechanic. There may be additional paperwork depending on what exactly you need to repair, like the breaks, lights, steering, etc.

- If you want to build the car entirely from scratch, chassis and all, that’s an entirely different story with a much more complicated list of requirements to make it street legal, so getting a frame from a junkyard is a great first step!

- Make sure to keep all bills of sale, junkyard receipts, invoices and manufacturers’ certificates on any major parts you used in building the vehicle to prove its road worthy to the DMV when it’s complete!

Harold doesn’t always answer first but over time he’s found the adventures of this kid amusing and keeps up with it.

Ghostly_Boy keeps the forum updated with his progress:

The kid spontaneously deciding to scrap the wiring system and make his own in a span of 3 days, leaving experienced mechanics on the forum practically screaming at the kid for his updates showing him using random wires he salvaged and pigtailing them together to get the length of wire he needed.

Mixing not only multiple types of wires but ones that didn’t have the protection needed for auto use. DIY-ing his own relay and fuses he didn’t have and connecting the wrong grounds and switches. And planning on leaving the wires unwrapped and loose.

Leaving Ghost to promptly redo the wiring, correctly this time, within 78 hours.

Making a repair of a massive rusted hole on the passenger side by the bumper and the front tire via cutting 1/2in past the rust, grinding it pretty and clean, tac & seam welding the vintage aluminum housing material of a toaster to cover the hole to the response of Harold and many others in the forum just going “… I guess that would work?”

Harold and many others telling the kid that this “ectoplasm” material wasn’t cleared through the EPA’s Clear Air Act and could be illegal to drive with it as it’s fuel source unless he got the emissions tested & the center of gravity of the car adjusted to have the center of gravity a gas car has, it wouldn’t pass Federal Motor Vehicle Safety Standards. Nor would the previously untested on material make it easy or quick to get an Emissions testing certificate. Best to just stick with gas.

Removing what he thought was a “skid plate” that turned out to be another rusted out section on the frame on the bottom of his car and repairing it with steel he salvaged from an old medical table he had laying around. (To the multiple slightly confused commenters asking how Ghost had a spare medical table, he replied, “eh, my folks visit every so often and they’ve been giving me things they’re clearing out of the house so they can move closer to my older sister. I just so happened to get the ye olde medical table. They’re an odd couple of folks but that’s why I love them.”)

People just crying at the kid to go to rockauto.com and just buy the damn parts he needs for his car. (A good resource btw)

The kid kept cutting corners to save cash but through the badgering of Harold and many others that he actually would have to spend money to make this car be safe to drive in, he finally got it completed.

Ghost’s post of him leaving DMV waving the updated title to the car in its envelope in the air, titled, “THE DMV FINALLY SAID IT WASN’T A FIRE HAZARD! ONLY TOOK 2 YEARS! THANKS EVERYONE!” Got the most amount of responses he’d ever had with congratulations from lurkers and previous commenters.

Over the course of those two years, Danny learned how to draw his own wiring diagrams, properly solder and weld, and learning to actually plan out his projects so he got it right at least the fifth time instead of the 20th. Not bad for a kid that went straight from graduating high school with a 1.5GPA to construction jobs.

But after finally getting the car approved, Ghostly_Boy returns to the forum with a new problem. Lamenting that his parents keep coming over and “modifying” his car to no longer make it street legal.

At this point, about half of the answers to the submission think it’s either a joke project taken very, very seriously with a good chunk of money behind it, or a kid with parents that have narrowly avoided falling completely down the mad scientist rogue rabbit hole.

After all, what sort of parent would think that the DMV would approve to “anti-ghost missiles” being attached to the outer body of the car? Either way, the submissions always had video attached showing a demonstration, proving that Ghost wasn’t just completely yanking their chain. And a good amount of money would have to be sunken in to not only pay for the fines Ghostly continued to get from the additions to his car, but to actually manufacture and make a unique working product for each plea for help request.

Harold is not only taking notes on some of these defense measures but also decides to bring up the boy to Alfred. Intrigued, they together keep an eye on Ghostly_Boy. Bruce may be their employer, but they can handle a case or two on their own.

- I wanted Danny to try to make smth for himself now that he doesn’t have access to his parent’s lab anymore but he also doesn’t have access to ectoplasm so he’s fairly unfamiliar how to wire things Not for ectoplasmic standards.

Also I wanted to make a prompt where Danny had a good relationship with his parents & went into a fairly realistic job after high school with his fairly bad GPA so he’s saving up for a technical school via construction jobs as he doesn’t like the idea of working fast food for understandable reasons.

#dpxdc #bones writes #i have about 3 dozen ideas for dpxdc ideas to do with Howard #I’m going to be a manufacturing engineer.#i got so many ideas for this dude teaching one of the batkids or a visitor to the batcave about how cad programs work #& why he’s using x material for its purpose #instead of y material #like this dude could just be any of my automation profs

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cowboyjen68 · 6 months

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Do the Republicans in your area give you any grief about being butch?

The first day my girlfriend (at the time) and I moved into our new house in rural Iowa in 1999 we ran a rainbow flag under our American Flag up the shiny new pole my dad and I installed in the front yard. (complete with a light to shine on them at night).

I have been in my home over 24 years and have not experienced any issues at all. I am pretty well known in my community from the Post Master to the Feed Store to the local shops in nearby towns and I only get greeted with "hi" or "good morning".

I work at a farm, I shop at the locker and raw dairy and small town hardware store. I eat at the breakfast cafe in the County seat . I have helped more that one idiot get their truck unstuck from the mud on the B level road next to my pasture.

I actually have no idea where any of my neighbors stand politically and really, it doesn't matter. When one of them needs help with something I am there and when it is time to put up my hay, Kevin from next door is always on hand to help. He takes Red's Apple Ale as payment for his time.

Perhaps it is because we are only 20 minutes from Cedar Rapids and 40 from Iowa City. Maybe because over the years I am just regular site and just one of the locals. I am no threat to their beliefs because I don't care to tell others how to feel and think about my presence in the community. The best gifts I given myself has been to be a good neighbor and customer, confident in who I am, a lesbian and butch woman and to smile and say "hello" when I am out and about.

I am sure it is a combination of being very lucky, living in just the right place and my personality.

There is no way they don't know I am a lesbian. I continue to hang up the rainbow flag in June, a labrys flag in May and one look at me is a dead giveaway with or without noticing my rainbow necklace. My social media is often tagged Iowa so I show up on the feeds of lots of people who don't know me but see me in public and say they follow me.

Iowa, the area of Iowa, I occupy is pretty much a live and let live mind set. No one wants to be told what to think. People appreciate others showing up to help and no one brings up politics during small talks or casual conversations with strangers in line at the DMV.

When the subject has come up or during election season (which seems very often in Iowa) every conversation I have had with others is respectful even in disagreement. I don't get worked up with I see the flaws in the politics of others. It is an argument I can't win if they are going off of false pretense and their minds are firm. So I don't spend the energy unless they really want to listen, which does happen. In turn I listen to them. Listening shows respect but there is no expectation of mind changing.

#iowa #rural life #lesbian #politics #republicans #democrats

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sirfrogsworth · 5 months

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Froggie's (Almost) Very Productive Day

I try to fit as many out-and-about chores as possible into a single day so I only have one set of post-exertional malaise consequences instead of consequences after each day of doing a thing. So any time I decide to drive, I try to find several tasks to accomplish all at once.

My first stop was the Family Services Division in the hopes of getting some help with grocery bills. I am making ends meet, but it seems to be getting harder each month. And maybe I could have skipped my trip to Florida and saved that money, but if I don't do something drastic for my mental health, I fear this first holiday season without a parent could send me into the darkness.

I needed to do an interview to finish applying for SNAP. I wanted to do a phone interview, but the next appointment was in January. So I went to social services where they allow walk-in appointments. I waited in a tiny plastic chair for several hours until they called my name. She yelled out "Benjamin" because when most people see "Grelle" they aren't really sure how to say it. (Rhymes with belly.)

She started my interview and it was going swimmingly at first. But then she started asking questions about the house and my inheritance and my trust. I had no idea what to tell her. It feels like a mistake now, but I have had pretty much no involvement in that process. I have no idea how it works. And I started to panic because she was acting like I was committing fraud or something by not mentioning the trust. But the entire point of the trust was to protect my benefits. Nothing is mine. I own nothing. I have no access. But I had no idea how to explain that.

Maybe my lawyer can help me apply, but I did not want them investigating everything and screwing things up before we even have the estate through probate. We specifically hired a lawyer and went through this convoluted process to make sure everything was on the up and up. But she really made me feel like I was doing something wrong. And that made me panic, which probably made me look even more guilty of something. So I just canceled everything and left.

After a few hours in a crowded government office, I decided to head to a different crowded government office.

I know I didn't need it until 2025, but I decided to go ahead and get my Real ID thingie before my first flight. I was kind of hoping they'd retake my picture because my current driver's license is... well...

And I'm so glad they took my big terrible picture and made it into a smaller, more terrible picture.

People complain about the DMV, but the one near me runs like a machine. It was filled with people and I still only had a 10 minute wait time.

I'm starting to wonder if all of those 80s comedians who were all, "What's the deal with the DMV?" were exaggerating.

Good stuff, Jerry.

I head up to the counter and ask for a Real ID. She asks for two pieces of mail and my birth certificate.

And this disappointed me a little bit.

I did my research. I went to the Real ID website and used their interactive guide to figure out exactly which documents I would need. They gave me this entire checklist and I printed it out and went through all my records and mail trying to find everything.

I had to wait a week for my internet bill to come because it's the only thing I forgot to change to paperless. This took a lot of effort and I was ready to be validated for being so prepared.

And she asks for two pieces of mail.

Any mail.

So I was off to get new tires.

Driving around on 8 year old bald tires was giving me anxiety. I didn't have the money for new tires, but I remember the guy saying they had financing. Recently several of my past debts went past the statute of limitations, and so my credit score lifted itself out of the pits of "poor" and into the realm of "fair." So I decided to take a chance and apply for a Discount Tire credit card. It's a 6 month payment plan with no interest, so that didn't feel as predatory as all the credit card offers I get in the mail with 8000% interest.

We started going through the approval process and I was answering all of the questions and then I saw the name of the bank offering the credit. It was the same bank that tried to sue me and also the bank that can longer collect due to the statute. I was worried they put me on some sort of list and would deny me. But, to my surprise, they approved me instantly. And wouldn't you know it, they gave me almost exactly the amount needed for a new set of tires.

I'm hoping we'll be doing another auction of the house stuff soon, so I plan to pay off the card and then cancel it, but this was the only solution I could come up with to drive safely until then.

I was having a weird day where photos of crusty rich wide dudes followed me everywhere I went. Here is my good ol' boy governor at the entrance to social services.

And at the tire place, I noticed this fella...

Why does every rich CEO think they are a font of wisdom capable of creating compelling quotes?

Does he think no one has ever said "work hard" and "have fun"? And after he said this was he like...

"That's gold, put that in *every* store."

"Oh, and use that picture of me where it looks like a handsome gal just grabbed my undercarriage."

He probably thinks, "Well, no one has put these specific generic platitudes together into a single mega-platitude. I am a genius."

"Be honest, work hard, have fun, be grateful, pay it forward" sounds like he had a bunch of motivational posters on his wall and started reading them all at once.

Like, every line could have a picture of an eagle above it.

In any case, the guy at the tire store, Dakota, was really nice. He made the experience very low anxiety. And he really liked my Thor's Hammer keychain with built in fidget spinner.

He went around showing it to all his coworkers. "Look, it even spins!" And they were like, "Dude, where did you get that??" And I was like, "Amazon." Now I'm just imagining 10 dudes at a tire store all fidgeting their hammers.

As nice as he was, Dakota was still a salesman and had a job to do. He gave me two tire options and tried to upsell me. The cheapest tires had a "1" rating for winter. He said they get "super hard" in the cold... I tried not to giggle. But I explained I drive about twice a month and mostly to the grocery store. If it is a bad winter day, I'll just wait or get delivery. He understood and set me up with the cheaper tires.

He then checked out my car and noticed my tire pressure sensors were dying. I keep getting a warning light on my dash. Apparently they all have tiny batteries in them that die after 7 years. And you can't just replace the batteries so you have to install brand new sensors.

And this is where my social anxiety got me into trouble.

I don't actually need these sensors. They are usually inaccurate. I prefer to test my tires with an actual gauge. But I got so caught up in his sales pitch that I agreed to replace them... at $60 each. For that I could have gotten the fancier tires. I really don't care if an orange light shows up on my dash. And I looked up the price online and a pack of 4 is $30. Though that is without installation.

But still... I wasn't thinking and he was so nice that I was just like, "I want to please Dakota. Saying no might make Dakota sad." Dakota's job is selling me but that doesn't mean I have to buy anything. He would live if I had said "no thanks."

To make my blunder more blunderous, when they finished the tires he asked for my key fob. And it decided that was the time for the battery to die. And in order to reset the system for the new tire pressure sensors, you have to press two buttons on the fob for 7 seconds. Thankfully I had a spare fob at home, but if I want my fancy new $240 sensors to work, I have to return to Dakota and have him initialize them.

I really hope these are the Cadillac of sensors.

Or, like, the ones they use on Cadillacs?

They better be accurate, is what I'm saying.

I do feel safer with new tires. So I am glad I did that. And I gave them a good obligatory kick and felt the tread. They seem nice enough even if they get boners in the winter. It's crazy how bald my other tires were in comparison. Like, I can fit half my finger down into the tread on the new ones—which did not get them super hard.

The way I drive, I probably won't wear them down. They'll probably start to rot before I do.

Before I do, meaning before I wear them down.

Not before I rot.

I am not in a rotting competition with my tires.

I was then off to Sam's. I decided all of my hard work accomplishing 2 out of 3 goals deserved some sushi. So I grabbed some California Rolls and headed home. On my way out, a Hummer and a Porsche nearly collided in the parking lot. And they sort of got stuck facing each other. One of them needed to back up and they both signaled at each other like "You back up, I'm not backing up." And it was just this weird standoff between the two douchiest looking cars you could imagine.

I mean, you have to be a douche to drive a Hummer.

I still remember the mystery Hummer dialysis patient from when my dad was going 3 time per week. We could never figure out who owned the Hummer, but we knew it was not the underpaid nurses and techs. So it had to be one of the patients. And none of them seemed the type. We never solved that mystery.

That hummer started off a delightful safety yellow. (Elon would cry.)

They decided this wasn't extra enough... so they did this...

Katrina and I could never decide... are these cow spots or the world's least effective camoflauge?

There was another patient who drove this old beater...

And I loved seeing this car because we had the same one when I was a little kid. I'm afraid the aesthetics of the 1980s Caprice Classic did not stand the test of time, but it had great sentimental appeal for me.

But this maroon beast that squeaked and sputtered its way from here to there belonged to a very sweet older gentleman. Sometimes he and my dad would be dialysis buddies—sitting next to each other in the recliners. And the worst thing about dialysis was the boredom. All you have to do is watch broadcast TV with 4 channels.

All of the TVs require headphones. They give you your own set of super cheap headphones in the dialysis welcome bag. They were very uncomfortable so I ordered my dad better ones with cushioned ear cups.

His dialysis buddy noticed them and thought they looked nice. And then he revealed that his free headphones broke and he didn't know how to get new ones. He had been watching TV with no sound for weeks. So, I bought another pair with the soft ear cups and my dad gave them to his friend. And it just made me happy imagining the two of them watching The Price is Right in matching headphones.

I do have to make fun of this sweet old man a little bit. When I walked passed his car I noticed he implemented the world's most effective anti-theft device ever created.

That's right... The Club™.

If someone decides they have to have a 40 year old car with an engine that sounds like a dying hyena and a hubcap missing... they are out of luck.

But hey, you gotta protect what is important to you. And if I needed a getaway car and my choices were between his beater and the Cow Hummer, I'd take his ride for sure.

Well, I'd try... and then get arrested because The Club™ is undefeatable.

Do NOT look that up on YouTube. It's 100% true. (And the Lock Picking Lawyer doesn't count due to him being able to break into Fort Knox with a paperclip and then doing it again to make sure it isn't a fluke.)

The dialysis center is in the same complex as my local Tolerable Schnucks and I still see that maroon boat of a car every once in a while. I always smile whenever it is there because it lets me know he is hanging in there and hopefully still has sound for his TV.

Wow, I went off on a mega-tangent.

I didn't even finish talking about my day. Where was I? Oh, the douche standoff finally ended. The Porsche Douche capitulated and backed up. Probably due to the fact the Hummer Douche has 0 visibility behind him.

When I got home I started devouring my sushi. I finally heard back from my lawyer. He submitted the last of the evidence for my appeal. And I was finally able to confirm he got the records of my ECT treatments from 20 years ago. I worked so hard to get those. At first, they forgot to send all records before 2011. I had to call back and figure that out. They shipped them and they didn't arrive until a week before we had to file. Everything was so last minute and my anxiety has been... palpable. It felt like when I did my science fair project on Sunday night.

He's hoping to get a decision at the beginning of next year. He warned me that these appeals are usually rejected. And that the most effective method of approval was a hearing in front of an administrative law judge. But that could be delayed by up to a year. So I might need to figure out how to survive until 2025. As long as my brother does what he is legally required to do, I should be okay. But counting on that also gives me palpable anxiety.

And that was my day.

Every time I go out is always an adventure.

But remember...

BE NICE. EAT YOUR VEGGIES. PET CUTE DOGS. DREAM BIG. KEEP YOUR TIRES WARM... FOR REASONS. 5 LIFE LESSONS -Froggie, Mildly Famous Internet Person

#long post

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deathmetalangel · 11 months

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hi if your taking requests I’d like to request a mid 90s forth-grade x fem skater reader. I could be whatever tbh but she’s like really soft and nice. Idk you could do what ever you think is best <33

IN CHAINS, ENTOMBED (FOURTH GRADE X FEM!READER)

warnings: stevie has mommy issues, mentions of drinking, mentions of smoking, sad stevie, nothing else really it’s mostly fluff

“from the day you arrived, i’ve remained, by your side, in chains, entombed”

ahhh i just really love fourth grade. i might’ve went overboard a slight bit.

Their friend group was strange, anyone could see that. They varied in ages, most being juniors and seniors with two exceptions. And they drastically varied in personalities. Ray was the oldest and looked out for his friends like siblings, they were all he had. Fuckshit was rowdy and always down for a party to distract himself and stay entertained. Fourth Grade was more aloof, the others called it stupid, but Y/n preferred observant.

Y/n herself was the sweetest person you’ll ever meet, a heart made of gold that shone brightly wherever she went. Ruben was almost condescending at times, he always felt the need to prove himself to Ray and Fuckshit. And Stevie, he spiraled down a dark path for a long time. Until now, he finally returned to the sweet boy they met at first. So eager and just happy to have friends.

They had their squabbles sure, but nothing they’d ever let separate them. The closest out of everyone was easily Y/n and Fourth Grade. She was a senior, about a year older than he was. Yet they’d known each other for years. She’d lived on the nicer side of town, but their dads had been really good friends. Both worked at the DMV, but it’s where their moms worked that changed their living situations. Mrs. L/n was, to be quite honest a spoilt brat of a woman. She was heinous and cruel. Only supported by her husband and her trust fund. Which she spent most of pretty quickly during her college years. But it still kept the family going strong.

Y/n had a surprisingly good work ethic. She didn’t work at Motor like Fuckshit and Ray, but she did work with her uncle at his mechanic shop. It helps to fund her “passion project”. Which is just an old 67’ Mustang Shelby.

Said girl currently sits on the couch in the back of the skate shop, her feet propped up on Fourth Grade’s lap with a book placed in hers. Her beanie is slightly slipping from her head, but she doesn’t seem to notice. “College applications are stupid. They’re all the counselors at school talk about now. I get that they’re important, but I don’t even know If I wanna go to college.” She sighs before shutting the textbook.

Fourth Grade turns to look at her, his usual far off look replaced. She always has his full attention. It doesn’t matter what she’s talking about. He’s gonna listen if she’s the one saying it. “I dunno. You’re smart. College might be good.” Ruben looks at them from the other couch. He was more interested in them than what Fuckshit was rambling about next to him. He liked the way Fourth Grade looked at her. It was, for lack of better words, full of devotion. He never sees that at home.

“Yeah, but where would I even go? All of these colleges are expensive and far away. I wouldn’t wanna leave you or the guys.” Mostly him. “I think I wanna be a mechanic. Sounds stupid huh?” She brushes off her own words.

Fourth Grade shakes his head. “I don’t think it’s stupid.” He mumbles off handedly. Like his words held no weight, what did they mean coming from someone as dumb as him? “I’ve seen your car, you’re good. You should do it.”

Yet his words meant the most to her. “You want to be a director right? You can go to college for that you know. A few colleges with fine arts programs reached out to me too. I think you’d do good.” He never really expected her to remember anything about what he wanted to do. Most of the guys assumed he just didn’t know or was too stupid to care. He pauses, they both think about the cost of it all. “I mean there’s scholarships and stuff. Next year I can help you look into it?”

“You’d do that?”

“Of course.”

She smiles at him, sweet and genuine. Ruben liked the way she looked at him too. There was no doubt with her, she loved him. Fourth Grade feels himself growing flustered. Y/n tended to do that to him. It was like he was in middle school all over again. She was the one who taught him how to skate. Y/n was so patient and understanding, she still is.

Everyone’s attention is caught by the bell to the front door. It chimes letting them know someone is walking in. The someone was Stevie, the only one missing from the current hang out besides Ray who was helping his mom. He’s a mamas boy, but y/n won’t tell anyone where he’s at. The guys tend to tease. Stevie walks in the shop clearly aggravated. She hadn’t seen him this agitated since last summer.

“Hey Fuckshit can you and Ruben go get some Arizonas and snacks? It’s on me just take this twenty. I don’t feel like going.” She holds out the cash she grabbed from her pocket.

Fuckshit looks up at her and takes the cash. “Hm yeah sure. Only cause you treating ma. I’ll get some different flavors n shit. Come on Ruben let’s bounce.” He clearly didn’t see her true intentions as he walks past Stevie on his way out. Y/n sits up straight as Stevie finally comes over to them on the couch.

“Hey Stevie you okay? It’s just us,” He knew what she meant. Just her and Fourth Grade so he could say whatever he wanted judgment free. He bites down on his lip to stop it from quivering. His nose twitches, she picks up on his tells. Y/n places a gentle hand on Stevie’s arm. “It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything. Just sit down, we can talk when you’re ready.”

Fourth Grade watches her tentatively. She was so gentle. Stevie sits down in between the teens before he places his head onto her lap. Y/n looks at Fourth Grade who was watching Stevie carefully. The boy had been through a lot in the time they were friends. He’d grown to care about him a lot. Y/n softly caresses the boys hair. Her best attempt at soothing him.

“My mom she just doesn’t get it anymore. She doesn’t get me anymore. She’s always with some guy, Ian says she used to be like that before I was born. But I thought she’d be better. She’s so preoccupied I never see her. And then she just bugs about stupid shit. I hate her sometimes.” He vents to the pair who don’t pity him, they are just there to console him.

Y/n sighs. “I get it. My moms flighty. Always in her own world. I’ve met your mom, and both times weren’t exactly pleasant or under great circumstances. But, I do think she cares. She loves you, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to feel this way. She isn’t right to put more focus on someone other than you especially when you’re so young. However, she is still entitled to a love life Stevie.” He liked talking to her. She never judged him. Or scolded him. Just let him talk, and would advise him as best she could.

Y/n looks at Fourth Grade, her eyes flicking down to Stevie as if to tell him to say something. He can get that hint at least. “It’s hard for a mom to have a son. My moms weird with me sometimes, it’s different than her having a girl. Ya know? She’s probably just nervous because you’re getting big and growing up.” She smiles at him, his thoughtful answer was more than adequate. He blushes at her smile. She always did encourage him to be smarter than everyone thought he was.

“You and y/n aren’t weird with me. So why is she?” Y/n blushes slightly at the implications of what he was saying. “Y/n you don’t ignore me for Fourth Grade. And you’ve been like in love forever. So why does she ignore me for those guys she’s known for a few months?” Both teens almost were too embarrassed to answer.

Y/n tries to recover as best she can. “We’re a lot closer in age to you than she is Stevie. We know what it’s like to be your age. She doesn’t remember it quite as well. And me and Fourth Grade, we’re not- um. New relationships take more work. There’s a lot more of getting to know each other Stevie. That’s probably why.” She can’t even make eye contact with Fourth Grade who kind of just sits there trying to figure out what she’s saying.

They weren’t dating, but why didn’t she finish her sentence. Was he reading too much into her words? “Can I stay at your house tonight? And maybe Fourth Grade stay over too?”

Y/n smiles softly. She could never say no to Stevie. She gently wipes away a few stray tears from the boys face before responding. “Of course you can stay with me. I’d rather you stay over than be god knows where. And you’d have to ask Fourth Grade if he wants to have a little sleepover.”

Stevie looks up towards Fourth Grade who’s caught slightly off guard. “Can you come too? I like when you’re hanging out with us.”

“Sure kid.” They were really the only ones who actually treated Stevie like a kid. He wasn’t Sunburn the cool skater, he was Stevie the twelve year old. They didn’t infantilize him or belittle him, he was still an equal. But they made sure to remember he was still growing up. He didn’t have to be cool and drink or smoke. He was dorky and that was fine.

Stevie smiles before laying down on Y/n’s lap again. Her fingers gently play with his hair as he starts to fall asleep. Y/n hums a soft lullaby as he does. “He’s a good kid. It’s funny you act more like a mom than a friend to him sometimes.” Fourth Grade whispers while he watches the boy nap.

“I guess it��s just my big sister instincts. And what about you? I swear sometimes he comes to you with his problems more than me or Ray. Fourth Grade I like this girl what do I do? Fourth Grade I need help with a video project for school. Fourth Grade I’m mad at my friend again.” She laughs softly before looking back down at Stevie.

Fourth Grade laughs as well. He did often get tasked with helping Stevie, it was mostly with stuff he didn’t want to ask Y/n about. He cared a lot about what she thought of him. “He’s a bit confused, but he’s only got his mom and his brother. And his brother doesn’t seem like the brotherly type. We’re really the closest he’s got to older siblings. And only three of us are decent influences.” Fuckshit and Ruben were most definitely not good influences. In fact Y/n almost has a heart attack when she finds out Stevie is hanging out with only them.

“You parent him a lot Y/n. And you always manage to get me roped into it.” Fourth Grade chuckles softly. “No wonder he thinks we’re dating.” He mumbles the end. Afraid of the weight of his words.

Y/n pauses. “I mean, we do kind of act coupley. I wouldn’t be surprised if more people thought we were dating. I don’t really care. I’m comfortable around you.” This was her way of putting the ball in his court. Fourth Grade pauses. He looks at her and just thinks. Jesus she had him whipped. Ever since he met her he’s been following her around like a puppy.

Yet, he really didn’t want it any other way. He liked being around her. Y/n was kind, but not ignorant in the slightest. She was intelligent and so fucking sweet. He fell more in love with her little by little, he was entombed by her very being. “You scare off any girls I might get, you know that right?”

She giggles. He wasn’t serious, but he wasn’t lying either. “Like you don’t scare off guys. ‘Don’t talk to her she’s with that tall lanky guy’. I hear pretty well you know.” Fourth Grade smiles.

“I mean if we’re ruining each others chances of ever dating someone, why don’t we just actually date?” Her eyes widen. She hadn’t actually expected him to be so up front. Fourth Grade never said anything this forward. He usually stuttered and rethought his words mid sentence.

She looks into his eyes. She could tell he was being genuine, perhaps that was what compelled his bluntness. “Are you asking me out Fourth Grade?”

He scratches the back of his neck almost awkwardly. “Uh-yeah. I mean. If you wanna.” And there was the Fourth Grade she knew. Y/n smiles before gently kissing his cheek.

“I’d love to.” She smiles before placing her head on his shoulder. Leaning onto him while Stevie napped comfortably in her lap. “I love you, you know. I have since we were kids.”

His face was almost bright red. Fourth Grade swallows hard. “Y-yeah? If I’m being honest you’ve had me since we met. Especially after you taught me to Ollie.”

She smiles at the memory. “I don’t think Fuckshit is coming back with my money.”

Fourth Grade wants to laugh, he quiets himself into a soft chuckle. “Yeah. I don’t think so either. It’s okay though. We can just relax. Just us.”

Y/n mumbles something before slowly dozing off with her head still resting on his shoulder. Fourth Grade looks down at her, still in awe of the girl before him. He’d do anything for her. And he knew she’d do the same. That’s just how she was, the kind of person she was. The person he was so irreparably in love with. And by her side he’d remain.

#deathmetalangel #fourth grade x reader #mid 90s #mid90s x reader #mid90s imagine #mid90s fourth grade #fourth grade mid90s #mid90s fourth grade x reader #mid90s fluff #fourth grade x female reader

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lovelytsunoda · 8 months

Text

crying over it all // clement novalak

summary: there are few things in this world more mortifying than failing your drivers test when everyone else your age has a license. it’s made even worse when your boyfriend is a racing driver

pairing: clement novalak x female reader

warnings: reader fails her driving test, which leads to significant self loathing, clem is just trying to be supportive and god I need someone like him right now

authors note: guess who failed her drivers test 🙃 I’ve rebooked it but now I have to commute by way of three buses to my college campus :( and don't even get me started on field placement...i wish i had never left it this long but at this point i need to trust to process and find some sort of way to move past it.

“I’m sorry, but you will need to retake your road driving test. I understand that’s not what you wanted to hear, but you need some more practice. you can see the full list of mistakes inside.”

it had been twenty minutes since she’s heard those words, and she still felt shaky on her feet. her hands had shook and tears fell down her face as she went inside, taking a number and waiting in a notoriously long dmv line to admit to the woman at the desk that she needed to rebook her test.

she didn’t want clement to see her like this, utterly defeated and trying not to scream her lungs out as she watched four teenagers in line in front of her get their licenses.

she was twenty one, for god sakes. she should have been driving by now.

she was sitting on the wooden bench, slouched I gracefully and letting the tears fall as she played with her car keys when clement found her.

what was the point of even owning a fucking car if she couldn’t drive it?

“oh, love." clem frowned, feeling his own stomach sink when he saw how distraught she was. "i take it that things didn't go well."

"could you tell?" she sobbed, trying to wipe her eyes. "was it that obvious? i hate myself, clement. how is it that i can't do something that pretty much everybody my age has been able to do since they were sixteen."

his heart ached as he heard her words. he'd passed his test on the first try, and he drove things for a living, so he's never really thought about what it must have been like for her, having to bum rides off her friends and family or to be bound to the transit schedule. while she was in college, it hadn't been the biggest deal, although it was a minor inconvenience. now that she would be working full time, the stakes were higher.

"i'm sorry, pretty girl." he frowned, pulling her closer, allowing her rest her head on his shoulder. "but you can take it again, and you know what you did wrong, right?"

"i start work next week, clem. i've looked up the commute and if i take public transit, it's almost two hours each way. and i feel like i'm a burden by constantly asking people for rides, or telling them that if they can't pick me up, we can't hang out. hell, my mother had to drive to my first date with you!"

clem chuckled at the memory, the image of a frazzled y/n stepping out of her mother's suv and frantically scanning the parking lot for clement. moments later, her mother had insisted to getting out of the car and introducing herself to clem. y/n thought that she would combust then and there.

"your mother loves me!"

"yeah, but imagine being a grown-ass adult and still having to get your mother to drive you to appointments because you don;t want to chance the bus route not aligning with your appointment time? i feel like my grandmother, and she's ninety, clement. she had her license revoked because she has cataracts."

"i know it hurts right now, but you are never a burden, y/n. your friends love having you in the car when they drive. hell, i feel like i drive better when you're next to me. i don't mind driving you places, you know. it means that i get to spend more time with you."

she smiled at the gesture, turning to allow clem to cup her chin and wipe some of her tears away. her face was flushed, eyes red and puffy. she couldn't shake the idea that she might have made a scene inside the testing center.

"i know. i just wish i could be more independent. transiting gives me so much fucking anxiety. i went over the curb when i three=point-turned and an old lady on a mobility scooter started yelling at me."

"but you never go over the curb."

"exactly! i think i was nervous, when i practiced the route with my dad, there were never any cars on the road. and i think after that happened, i got into my head and it screwed everything else up. i'm such a fuck up. i feel like i've let everybody down, especially you, since you helped pay for my fucking car."

'"hey, hey, don;t talk like that. you'll get it. i promise you. you know jenson button didn't pass his road test on his first try, right?"

she snorted, sitting up straighter, but still clutching clem's hand. "did he really?"

"yeah, and i think lando failed as well."

"yeah well, i've seen how lando drives. that doesn't surprise me at all."

having a laugh seemed to help, and at least now if people mwere staring at her it was because of the f2 driver sitting next to her, not because she was a grown woman who still couldn't drive and decided to cry about it, and then fling her keys onto the grass.

"i have some plans i might have to move around, and then i need to call my parents, and then my dad can take me out to practice a bit more but i have to trust that when i take it again in october, something goes right. because i know exactly what i fucked up."

she moved to get up from the bench, clm following closely behind as she shamefacedly handed him the keys to her volkswagen. well, the volkswagen now, since she couldn't drive it without someone who'd had their license for five years present.

"i'm proud of you for trying. i know that this was something you put off for a long time because of your anxiety, and even though it didn't work out, at least you tried." clem encouraged, his arms comfortably slung around her shoulders as she laced her fingers with his. "hey, it could be worse. you could have had your dad drive you here."

"clement, don't even joke!" she laughed. "you know that i hate taking transit, and that i don't always feel safe going places alone."

"i know. and if you ever feel unsafe, or too anxious to function, or just like you want to see my gorgeous face, call me. as long as im in the country, i will come and get you. and if im not, i'll send someone i trust."

"like who? max fewtrell? his driving is worse than landos."

clem snorted. "i meant ria. or pietra.

"thank you, clement." she sighed, leaning into him as he unlocked the car. "i love you."

"i love you more, pretty girl." he kissed the top of her head softly. "it will all work itself out, love. just you wait. and then you'll be the one driving me places."

TAGS:

@httpiastri @magnummagnussen @oconso @thatsdemko @scuderiamh @libraryofloveletters @diorleclerc @sidcrosbyspuck @cartierre @clemswrld @love4lando

#clement novalak x reader #clement novalak #formula 2 x reader #formula two x reader #f2 x reader #clement novalak imagine #formula 2 imagine

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talesfrommedinastation · 2 months

Text

Redneck Doug watches 'The Bad Batch: A Different Approach'

Believe it or not, this episode started the first real argument between Doug and I!

Hope y'all enjoy it.

CW: Language and Doug is surprisingly critical of fat folks, despite the fact that he's from one of the least healthy states in the USA, has a massive beer gut, and can put away a whole rack of ribs and multiple barbeque fixin's in one sitting. I've seen it in person, folks. We were snipping at each other over fatphobia, glass houses, and the merits of The Treasure State after this.

I might have sacrificed my invitation to his St Patrick's Day party as a result. Oh well.

---------------------------------------------------------

Episode 4: “Adventures in Space Montana”

(image from @ladyzirkonia)

And we’re starting off with Little Orphan Blondie behind the wheel of a stolen vehicle because the girl is every inch her hillbilly brothers family.

Why is the plane on fire? Does this end like Alive? I thought ships couldn’t burn in space, I mean, I studied engineering, worked in oil, girl I remember Event Horizon.

Whelp, they crashed in a cold-ass field with some pointy mountains behind them. Clearly Montana. Maybe there’s a national park nearby and they can go hiking.

Aw, no, Mutant Jimmers is stuck behind Daddy Warcrimes’s seat! Let the ol girl out before she pees all over the spare tire!

Did they bring their guns? Hope they did. This is Montana, the Texas of the north, except you can’t find the bodies anywhere. If I was gonna go and murder someone, I’d pick Montana after Alaska.

(Pictured: Omega and Crosshair are somewhere in this picture)

A sketchy cold-ass town where everyone’s gambling, there’s too much military trash wandering around and you see your breath even inside the bar? Yup, definitely Montana.

(“Montana is not like that! I’ve been there multiple times! I almost went to grad school at UM and the kayaking, skiing, hiking, and breweries are amazing!” - Me, defending a state I have never lived in

“Yeah, but have you been to Butte? Thought I was gonna go get eaten by the locals there.” - Doug

::proceed to bicker and fight via texts about the many merits and demerits of the Big Sky State::)

Aw yeah, Daddy Warcrimes and Little Orphan Blondie got new clothes. Smart man, covering his face, Daddy Warcrimes. He totally looks like me when I gotta rake the lawn in November. I like that sweater, think they’ll sell them at Disneyland?

And they’re back to gambling. See! I told you this was Montana! They even have a gun rack!

Look at Little Orphan Blondie taking down fools with some cards! I bet Ryan-from-Accounting is smiling watching from Heaven or wherever he’s fighting the Space Balrog to come back as Space Gandalf.

Oh who is this fat fuck. Lord a mercy, is he the one fat imperial we have ever seen? Man I tell you what I bet he’s too hefty to ride in an AT-AT and that’s why they sent him to Space Montana, thinking the hiking and eating venison and berries will slim that brother up.

Maybe Vader will force him to run while carrying Palpatine like we did to other recruits in the Navy.

Nope, he’s gambling with a little girl in a bar, because the Empire just can’t follow rules now can it. That don’t make any sense. I’m with you, Daddy Warcrimes, giving that sour puss to everyone. I would too.

And now Officer Fat Fuck is gone done taking money from a child who beat him fair and square. Yup, he works for the government, all right. I bet he manages the Empire’s DMV.

Creepy little street boy wants some cash to tell them where they took Mutant Jimmers. I don’t blame the boy, it looks like no one wants to buy his shitty watermelon and he ain’t got a face.

Why in the hell are there so many animals in crates and shit here? They starting a zoo or something? Is it all to feed Officer Fat Fuck? I need info on this.

Shit yeah, fire them guns, Daddy Warcrimes! It’s your time to shine, big boy!

Oh yeah they freed Mutant Jimmers! And everybody else. Oh man, is that a kraken? Whelp, its dinner tonight is Officer Fat Fuck. Good on ya, kraken, you may be named after the world’s worst hockey team but ain’t bad all the time now.

(pictured: they keep losing games but hey they at least eat imperial officers?)

Gotta fry some dumb Imperial while you’re leaving, of course. Why they wearing them goggles when they got helmets on? Shit, real dumb. Don’t like the Inspector Gadget trench coats either, those can get caught real quick in a door and that’s how you get shot and all.

Ah yeah, they saved their cash, grabbed a ship, and they’re off to the moon! There they go!

DADDY RAMBO LITTLE ORPHAN BLONDIE JULIO AND DADDY WARCRIMES ALL BACK TOGETHER! OH MY LORD MEAT MUFFIN I AIN’T EXPECTING THIS THIS EARLY! WOW!

(image from @dreamswithghosts)

And Mutant Jimmers is with them too. It’s a good day on the moon!

Tagging Doug's fans of course: @skellymom @cdblake1565 @megmca @sued134 @eyecandyeoz @amalthiaph @yeehawgeek @eelfuneral @thecoffeelorian @lightwise @archivistofnerddom @askyourfox @heavenseed76 @totallyunidentified

#tbb #cloneforce99 #thebadbatch #the bad batch #redneck doug #doug why #doug the neighbor #doug talks star wars #doug watches the bad batch #clone force 99 #tbb omega #tbb crosshair #clone trooper #star wars tv #cajun doug

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specialagentlokitty · 4 months

Text

Booth x reader - the pain of the past still hurts

TW: mentions of depression and suicidal thoughts

Walking into Angela’s office, you held out a paper box to her a little bit, grinning slightly.

“Bribery? What do you want?” Angela chuckled.

She took the cookie box from you, sitting down so she could have one and you sat next to her.

“I know you need time to work but I really need a facial reconstruction on this victim Ange.”

“You’re in luck, I actually just finished.”

Angela set the box down, getting up to go to the big screen and you walked over to follow her so you could see what she had come up with.

“Your victim would’ve looked something like this, I haven’t got the skull for the second person yet, but I’ll let you know when I do.”

You looked at her rendition of the victim and nodded your head.

“Perfect, I’ll tell Booth, thanks Angela you’re the absolute best!”

You jogged out of the room and up to the platform where Booth was coming down.

“Got you a face, here.”

You handed him your phone and he took it so he could look at it.

“Send me this I’ll run it by the DMV.”

You gave him a mock salute and he chuckled, handing your phone back to you.

“Yes sir.”

“Don’t call me sir.”

“Yes sir!”

Booth glared at you a little but when he saw your little grin he just smiled slightly.

“You’ve got work to do squint.”

“Yeah but I also have lunch to take so see ya.”

You spun around, heading out of the building so you could go find something good for lunch.

You were gone a while, and when you got back you were called up to look at the bodies so you headed up, pulling the gloves on.

“What’s up?”

“What do you see?” Brennan asked.

You looked at the first one belonging to the victim you identified.

“Well, he was struck in the ribs with something hard, judging by the fracture pattern I’d say maybe something metal like a pip or a bat.”

“And this one?”

You walked over to the other skeleton and you slowly walked around the table.

You did that a few times, and Brennan just quietly watched you.

“There’s no obvious signs of foul play, no recent fractures or breaks, there’s no sign of trauma to the bones aside from the healed breaks. But these bones seem older.”

Brennan nodded her head.

“Exactly, so what does that tell you?”

You stopped pacing and you looked at her.

“Either this is an older victim who was killed in a different way, maybe through some sort of drug, or, this isn’t a victim and this was somebody who was already buried there.”

“Yes, I believe this body is not related to the murder and was already buried years before.”

You nodded in agreement.

“So what do we do?” You asked.

“We identify the bones and return them to the family.”

You nodded and you turned to the victim.

“I’m going focus on him, maybe I’ll find something, I’ll let you know when Angela gets something with that one.”

“Thank you, I’m going to find Booth he’s said he has a lead.”

You watched as she left and you pulled out your CD player from your overall jacket and put your headphones in focusing on your work.

You knew that Brennan wasn’t one for music while working but you found it helped you focus because it blocked out all the noise.

The only downside was that because you were blocking out the noise you didn’t hear the sound of your phone ringing, or people calling your name, ir somebody walking over to you.

You felt somebody pull the headphones down and you turned around, smiling at Booth.

“Hey, what can I do you for?” You asked.

“We need to talk.”

You titled your head down so he could take the headphones and CD player and you pulled your gloves off.

“We’ll go to my office.”

You took the agent through to your office and he closed the door.

Walking over, he took a bit of paper from his pocket and set it down in front of you a you took it, looking at him in confusion.

“What is it?”

“Read it.”

You furrowed your brows a little, turning back to the paper.

“It’s a land deed?” You asked confused.

“It says you own it, is that correct?”

“Yeah, I own a small patch of land, it’s a small hill that overlooks the ocean.”

“You didn’t think to bring this up?”

Setting the paper down you sat on your desk.

“Booth what’s this about? Last time I checked it isn’t illegal to own a bit of land. I used my savings and inheritance to buy it why do you think I’m broke?”

“It is illegal to have two bodies buried on your land, Hodgins traced the dirt particles back to that exact patch of land, our murder victim along with that other body were buried on your land, now because it’s privet property we need your permission to remove the tree so we can see if it has anything useful.”

You stared at him in shock, and you looked down at your hands.

“What else did you find…?”

“Are you confessing to something?” Booth asked.

You looked up, reaching into the pocket of your jacket you pulled something out and walked over holding your hand out.

Booth held his hand out and you dropped the object in his hand.

“Did you find something like this?”

“Yes, it was on the remains yet to be identified.”

You nodded and you looked out to the platform.

“You don’t need to identify him… his name is Jason Morris. He died just over 10 years ago. You can’t remove that tree, and if you do I will take lawful action.”

You took the necklace from him and made you way to the platform, heading over to the table holding Jason, you pulled up a chair in and sat in front of it.

You just stared at the skull, and you clenched your jaw, fighting back the tears that were forming.

You rested your forehead on your hands and closed your eyes.

“(Y/N)?” Cam asked.

You took a deep breath, looking up at your boss.

“Can these remains be released?” You asked quietly.

“Not yet, booth won’t sign off on the paperwork and we still need to find the family.”

“Jason he uh.. he doesn’t have any. Dad passed when he was a kid, his mom passed a few months ago…”

Cam walked over to you, sitting down on a chair next to you.

“You’re aware this makes you a suspect, you can’t work this case anymore.”

“I know.”

“It means you can’t be here.”

You nodded slightly.

“Can you move his bones to a different room so I can sit with him…? I’ll leave if you guys need access…”

“Of course.”

You smiled a little and got up, heading back to your office.

The moment the bones were moved you headed into the room and that’s where you sat at just stared at your friend.

There was a knock on the door, and Hodgins walked in.

“I’m sorry I’ll give you the room.”

“No, I actually came to give you something.”

He walked over, setting an evidence bag next to Jason.

“I can’t release it yet, but I think it should be here with him.”

“Thank you…”

“I know you won’t let me cut down the tree, but if I could have permission to just collect some samples.”

You cleared your throat and nodded.

“Yeah, you can take samples just… just don’t damage it…”

“I won’t I promise.”

Hodgins looked at you and he looked at the door before pulling up a seat to sit next to you.

“I’m here if you want to talk, we all are.”

He didn’t say anything else he just sat there with you, and then he left and not long later booth came back in.

“Who else knows about that site?”

“It’s privet property, but people trespass.”

“I need to know where you were two months ago, on the 14th between 12am and 6am.”

You looked at him.

“You can’t be serious…”

“It’s your land, there’s a body on it. Where were you?”

“Booth I didn’t even know the victim!”

“And yet he was buried in your land!”

You stared at him for a moment.

“I was in the hospital, okay?”

“Why?”

You pushed yourself up.

“Get a warrant, and if you want to talk to me again get a warrant for that too.”

You barged past him, and you made your way to your boss’ office.

“Can those remains be released?”

“The paper work will be done in an hour, the DA and a judge has decided it’s not related to the case.”

“Can you take Jason back to the tree, I’ll deal with everything from there.”

“Of course, are you alright?”

You didn’t reply and you left the room, heading to your office to pack everything you needed away.

“Oh, (Y/N) have you seen booth?”

“No.”

Sweets stepped inside.

“Are you okay? Because you seem upset.”

“I’m fine. Just uh.. just tell everybody I’m sorry.”

You walked past him and made your way over to your land which was a few hours out.

You began to get everything ready, and you hung the lanterns from the smallish tree, and you watched as the Jeffersonian truck pulled up.

They pulled out a casket and walked over, placing it in the ground of you.

“Thank you.”

You waited for them to leave and buried your friend again, then you sat down next to his headstone, leaning your back on the tree.

You took a deep breath and closed your eyes.

“You were my best friend Jason… I guess the only friend I ever had…”

You opened your eyes and opened your bag, reaching in you looked at the the items and you stood up, slowly pacing back and forth.

Your phone was ringing and you ignored it.

“It all changed when you left… and I blame myself…”

Tears ran down your face.

“I can’t do this anymore… I.. I lost you.. your mom.. everybody thinks I’m a killer… it’s.. it’s all gone to shit…”

You looked at the lanterns, and you walked over, sitting on your knees you looked at the alcohol and pills.

Opening both, you drank a quarter of the bottle before setting it down, shaky hands fumbling for the other bottle.

You looked at the name on the stone.

“I never told you how sorry I am…”

You finally got the bottle open and you poured some into your hand.

You titled your head back, closing your eyes but before you could do anything you felt somebody grab your hand and you opened your eyes.

Booth was knelt behind you.

“Let go.” He said.

You shook your head.

“I.. I have to do this…”

Booth took a shaky breath.

“(Y/N) let go…”

“I can’t…”

Booth tried to open your hand and he was shocked to find when you put your mind to something you had a deathlike grip.

“I’m begging you just drop them, don’t do this, please, don’t do it…”

Booth sat behind you, wrapping an arm around you, his hand still tightly around yours.

“I know what you did, why you were in the hospital. I’m not letting you do that again, I will sit here all night if I have too.”

You sat there for a few moments quietly with him.

“I… I can’t do this anymore…”

“But you can, you can okay? I know it’s hard, but I know you, and you don’t give up, you never, ever give up.”

Your grip loosened a little bit and he used that to his advantage, he opened your hand, throwing the pills, and he tossed the bottle out of your reach as well.

Booth wrapped his other arm around you.

“Please let me help you…” he whispered.

“You can’t…”

“I can damn well try, don’t give me this crap about not being able to help because I can. I’m not letting you throw away your life despite how many times you’ve tried.”

You stayed quiet.

“Jason and I were on this cliff diving into the water…”

“Yeah?”

You nodded.

“We were also drinking.. he.. he slipped… hit the rocks…”

“That’s why you buried him here? Why you blame yourself?”

You nodded again.

“It wasn’t your fault your (Y/N), accidents happen, okay? You can’t blame yourself.”

Booth cleared his throat, looking up to the sky to clear the tears from his eyes.

He had nearly arrived too late, and he blamed himself for what you were about to do, with the thought maybe if he was more understanding you wouldn’t have spiralled.

He stayed there with you, and neither of you said anything you just sat in silence because right now that’s what you needed

#bones #bones x reader #bones x you #bones imagine #seeley booth #seeley booth x reader #seeley booth x you #seeley booth imagine

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mysecretlittlelibrary · 9 months

Text

I Hope That You Burn

Pairing: Platonic Spencer Reid & Reader

Word Count: 3.2k

Warnings: uh just cheating really

Genre: kinda fluff, mostly angst

Summary: What happens when you learn your husband has broken your vows

This story was requested by @lucreziaq2001

A/N: I didn't get a chance to properly edit this one be kind <3

***

Working for the BAU has been such a whirlwind to say the least. You joined the team pretty recently and it took you a little bit to get the hang of things but you'd say at this point you're definitely starting to find your place among the team.

"We're totally gonna miss you in the field on this one." Spencer says. You'd definitely consider yourself closest to him, always whispering to each other, chatting late into the night- he's like your best friend. It's nice to have someone close to out here as you aren't from the DMV tristate and only moved here because of your husband becoming a senator.

"Aw I know Spence but with Adam out of town at that summit for a month I'm just not comfortable leaving Bella with a nanny indefinitely like that." You tell him.

"I mean I totally wouldn't have minded watching Bella she's adorable." Penelope chooses that moment to walk passed the two of you. She ranks second closest you think. She reminds you of your friends from college, colorful and bold and unapologetically herself.

"It's not your job to watch my kid Pen, plus she'll only be this small for so long and with this job we're away a lot so I wanna take advantage of this and spend time with her." You shrug.

"That's so cute." Penelope says.

"You're a great mom. This case won't be the same without you though." Spencer says.

"Spencer I'm still on the case. I'll just be running point from home base this time. Like Garcia. You guys can and probably will call me as necessary." You say.

"What're we talking about over here?" Derek joins the small group at your desk. You and Derek get along great, although that's because he and Spencer are like brothers. You find yourself in the middle of their spats like this all the time.

"Just Bella and the fact that I'm staying back to take care of her." You tell him.

"Ah yes- the joys of motherhood you say. Can't believe you're staying behind." He shakes his head.

"If someone is ever gracious enough to deign you worthy of fathering their children, by some miracle, I'm sure you'll understand." You hum.

"Ouch! Need some ice for that Morgan?" Spencer hisses dramatically.

"You'll need ice in a minute Reid." Derek steps forward as if to threaten him, albeit playfully, but Spencer runs behind your chair, turning you to block Derek from getting to him.

"Hey! Just because I'm not going doesn't mean I'm not watching Morgan. You behave, both of you. Don't y'all stress Hotch out because I'm home." You warn.

"Hiding behind Mommy are you, Spence?" Derek taunts.

"I am not hiding!" Spencer huffs.

"Mommy?" You scoff.

"Reid, Morgan, wheels up." Hotch comes out of his office and the boys head off to grab their things. "You're sure about staying y/n?" Hotch asks you.

"Absolutely. I can't leave Bella. If it were Jack would you leave him with a nanny you didn't have time to properly vet, especially given the job we do? Not even factoring my husband's job into things."

"Could never." He says.

"There ya go." You say.

"Alright, well keep your phone on. We might need you."

"Of course. Consider me a hotline." You wink.

"Good." Aaron nods and turns away.

"I'm being hyperbolic! Don't like- call me at 3am or something with case updates!" You call after him.

"That's more Reid's thing don't ya think?" He spins to ask you.

"True. Safe flight! Someone let me know when you land!" You wave him off as you're sure the rest of the team is waiting for him at this point. You turn your attention back to the paperwork you were doing before. Penelope is still at your desk though and after a few moments of waiting for her to say something you chuckle to yourself.

"Did you want to talk about something Pen?" You ask her, eyes still glued to the document in front of you.

"What's it like to basically be Wonder Woman?" She asks.

"What?" You blink at her.

"You've been here a few months and you're already amazing, everyone loves you, you have the perfect daughter and a husband who couldn't be more obsessed with you I mean I would kill to have a life like yours."

"Well- my daughter is 2 that's not- never mind. I'm- flattered you feel that way Pen really but I'm not doing much of anything different. I work hard just like the rest of you. Trust me balancing a full-time job and raising a toddler is no easy feat plus being married to a politician is certainly not a walk in the park." You scoff.

"You make it all seem so simple."

"Well if I came in here screaming every morning one of them would surely have me committed and we can't have that." You wink at her.

"True. But I mean you're like always killing it."

"I try my best Pen, thank you. I worry sometimes- with Bella, ya know." You shrug.

"Why? You're a great mom." She shrugs.

"I like to hope so but the thing with kids is- well it's kinda like coding a neverending program that you aren't the only person adding code to and you have no idea what each new line of code will actually do regardless of your intentions." You tell her.

"Woah- I see. Well from over here I'd say you're a coding wiz." She winks.

"Thanks Garcia. I wanna finish this up before the team lands in case they need me so-"

"No problem, I have some things Hotch definitely expects me to do that I forgot about til the last minute anyway." She smiles. You chuckle and tell her bye and then she's gone, leaving you to your paperwork. Your least favorite part of the job. By the time the team lands somewhere on the west coast, it's about time for you to leave the office but Spencer is sure to let you know they've made it safely and promises to update you in the morning unless something urgent happens in the next 4 hours. You pick your daughter up from daycare and head home to wind down for the day.

"Alright Bella baby, let's get you fed and then bathed." You hum pulling her out of her car seat.

"Din din?" She blinks at you from in your arms as you shift to unlock the door.

"That's right my love din din. It's time for dinner." You kiss her head. You set Bella up in her high chair with some coloring pages to keep her busy while you get dinner going. Tonight you've got fish on the menu with steamed broccoli and some grapes you cut in half. It takes about 20 minutes but soon she's got food in front of her that she's getting down without much issue. Bella isn't the pickiest eater luckily and you've learned what flavors she does best with right now, of course that could change but that's something you'll test years down the line. For now, whatever keeps her fed is what you'll give her. When she's finished you bathe her and read her a bedtime story before tucking her in for the night. A couple hours after, you've showered and eaten and are climbing into bed yourself when your phone rings. You check the ID and pick it up.

"Hey Spence, how's it going over there?" You ask. He lets out a frustrated breath that makes you chuckle a little. "So not great?"

"I'm frustrated because these cops are incompetent but-"

"We always have to make sure we maintain a friendly relationship with local police." You finish the thought for him.

"Which is incredibly difficult when the Backyardigans would be more helpful than these guys."

"I think you're spending too much time with Bella. The Backyardigans?" You laugh knowing full well he only knows about the show because your two-year-old loves it.

"To be fair it's a good kids show." He says.

"I know that Spence but to say a group of animal children are more helpful than the local law enforcement is hilarious."

"You're only laughing because you don't have to deal with them. I am in no way exaggerating y/n."

"Oh I know. You don't really do that." You smile.

"Anyway, on more pleasant subjects, how is Bella? Easy night?" Spencer asks.

"Pretty easy yeah. Adam called to say goodnight to her."

"Did he? That's good. I know how much she hates when one of you has to be away." He hums hoping you can't tell over the phone how his mood soured slightly at the mention of your husband. As far as Spencer could tell Adam was a fine husband, on the rare occasion he was around and came to visit you at work he was always singing your praises. His only problem with Adam, which he would never admit, is that he's your husband because knowing you're married didn't stop Spencer from developing a crush on you. One he works very hard to hide from you and the rest of the team. He cares too much about you as a friend and as a colleague to ever risk that.

"Yeah, he missed the last couple of nights so it's lucky he called this time or I think Bells might've held it against him til the end of his trip in two weeks." You chuckle.

"Sounds like her." Spencer laughs along with you.

"Anything else happen so far? Anything I should know?"

"Nothing that can't wait until morning. Hotch will call you. I'm sick of talking about work." Spencer says.

"Okay well, we'll talk about something else then." You tell him with a giggle. You stay on the phone for another hour or two before Spencer lets you go for the night.

It takes the team over a week to return from that case. It was a rough one, even with you and Penelope helping as much as possible from the office but eventually, you solve it and the others make their way back home. By the time they land, it's already pretty late and you've left to get Bella so you'll simply see everybody in the morning.

Night routines are done and dusted rather efficiently and you find yourself in Adam's home office after Bella's in bed. Well technically it's just the home office and not Adam's but he uses it way more than you do, you only really come in here to print things. Still, you keep a lot of extra supplies in here, and right now you're looking for an eraser because you can't find one big enough to erase the scribbles Bella has done in one of her books. You sift through the drawers on the desk and pause with a frown when you realize one is locked. Why would your husband lock a drawer of this desk? I mean- you're in the FBI you have higher security clearance than he would as a senator, what could he possibly need to lock up? You don't like invading his privacy but there's a terrible nagging feeling that tells you to open the drawer so- with a bit of careful picking you manage to get the lock open and find the drawer full of- letters. Letters between your husband and his secretary. Handwritten letters. You pull out the top few and scan the words on those pages, your heartbeat thundering louder with each line, each paragraph, each page. You read each letter with excruciating care, it takes you hours to get through them all, and by the time you're done, the sun has already started to light the night sky. You put all but 3 of the letters back into the desk and close the drawer but don't bother to lock it before forcing yourself up on your feet. You should kill him. Adam. You should hop on the next flight to that stupid summit and kill him in his hotel room. The hotel room he's probably sharing with his desperate secretary. You know the fault is his though you see red remembering all the times that woman smiled in your face while screwing your husband who knows how often. She probably thinks you're a fool, that you're so easy to trick and lie to. You slam the door to that office so hard thinking about it that the door rattles on its hinges. You're too angry to sleep- you need to decide how to make him pay for this. Stewing in your thirst for revenge, you hardly realize how much time has passed you until Bella comes toddling into your room.

"Mama." She waddles over to you and you struggle to flip the switch but you do it. You have to. Your baby. You have to do what's best for her. You always have to do what's best for her. Maybe nailing your husband to a cross is too reckless.

"Good morning my darling girl!" You coo happily picking Bella up.

"Mornin!" She beams back at you.

"Ready to get started with your day huh? Let's get you dressed for daycare!" You say kissing her cheek. You get her ready for the day, then yourself, feed her breakfast and drop her off at daycare all keeping it much more together than you feel. It's almost more frustrating to know you can't in good conscience take him down as he deserves because your daughter doesn't deserve that kind of exposure by association and when you leave him, you want it to be simple for her, or as simple as you can make it. You have a week to figure out your game plan before Adam returns and you plan to make the absolute most of that time. By the time you're walking into the office, you've already looked up several reputable divorce lawyers and plan to call them each during your lunch.

"Good mor- y/n, what's wrong?" Spencer frowns when he intercepts you before you reach your desk.

"I- I really don't wanna talk about it Spence." You say shakily. You can feel the tears welling up in your eyes and if you start crying now you don't think you'll be able to stop all day. Spencer seems to recognize the unshed tears too, if the shocked look on his face tells you anything. He wraps his arms around you tightly.

"If you decide you wanna talk about it, please come find me." He whispers before he lets go of you. You nod and make your way to your desk. Spencer spends the whole day watching you work. I mean he does his work too, or tries to, but he's so worried about you he can hardly focus. Before the end of the day, you've called all the lawyers you found and scheduled a meeting with one. You'll be seeing her tomorrow. When you're packing up for the day and preparing to head home Spencer walks over to you. "I know you didn't want to talk about it this morning, but since the work day is over I thought maybe you could tell me what's going on with you now?"

"Adam's cheating on me." You say flatly as you enter the elevator with Spencer.

"Wait what?"

"Has been for months. With his secretary. I found out last night."

"Why didn't you call me?"

"I spent all night reading their correspondences." You mutter.

"Y/n I am so sorry." Spencer breathes out.

"It's fine. I'm meeting with a divorce attorney tomorrow."

"So soon?"

"I have to be ready when he returns. On Sunday. I want all my ducks in a row so I'm not there when he gets back." You say.

"Where are you going to go?" Spencer asks.

"I don't know yet. But it won't be that house."

"You and Bells can stay at mine if you need." He offers.

"Thank you. I'll let you know if I'm gonna take you up on the offer. Right now I'm focusing on getting divorce papers drawn up." You mutter exiting the elevator as soon as the door opens.

"Y/n hang on-" Spencer grabs your arm gently.

"I have to pick up Bella." You say.

"You have to process this."

"NO. Not right now. Right now I have to protect my baby. Bella needs me and she needs me whole."

"Y/n you're not just Bella's mom. You're a woman whose trust has been betrayed and you're allowed to feel that."

"Spencer I am all that she has here. I can't fall apart there's no one- we don't have- if I fall apart there's no one looking out for her."

"Don't do that. The whole team is here for you both. I am here for you both. If you feel yourself falling apart find us, find me. I'll put you back together again." He tells you.

"Thank you, Spence. I have to get Bella." You make your way to your car and pick up your daughter. Six days. You have six days to get everything in order because god forbid you have to be here when he returns from his summit. It's practically robotic as you make dinner, feed Bella, and get her ready for bed. You don't even realize you're climbing into bed until you're shutting the lamp off beside you. The day was not easy but you made it through, and you'll continue to do so until you sort through as much as you can before Sunday.

You spend the entire week meeting, exchanging emails, and talking on the phone with your divorce attorney, and by Saturday papers are completely drawn up. You take Sunday to pack up as much of your and Bella's things as you can because you decided earlier in the week you would take Spencer up on his offer, at least until you found a new place for you and Bella or Adam moved out to find his own place, that choice would be his. If he wanted the house you were not attached.

"Alright Bella my love, we're going to have a sleepover at Spencer's house for a little while, sound fun?" You say to Bella as you give her a bath after dinner.

"Spency?" She smiles.

"That's right baby. Spency." You smile back. Once she's in her pajamas, you get her in the car and make the 20-minute drive to Spencer's place with your mind mostly on the clock.

"Hey. You made it." Spencer says when he opens the door.

"Yeah, I wanted to get Bella ready for bed so she could crash. I still have a few things to take care of before Adam returns but I didn't want her too off schedule." You explain.

"Do those things have to be done tonight?"

"Adam's taken a redeye flight, he always does. He'll be back before morning yes it has to be done tonight." You say.

"Alright, do you want me to put Bells to bed so you can get whatever it is done quickly?" He asks.

"Would you mind?"

"Of course not. I've done it before."

"Thank you Spence. I'll be back in like- an hour." You pass Bella, half asleep into Spencer's arms and give her a kiss before returning right back to your house. You have one last thing to do before you can consider this phase of your plans complete. You pull open that drawer in the office where you left those letters and toss them into the office bin. You strike a match and take a deep breath before tossing it into the collection of papers.

You saved three. Those you need for divorce things but when the time comes you'll burn them too. The rest you watch be engulfed in the fire now. Not to save him, no, you hope he will receive every wicked thing he deserves, but to save Bella. You've seen this before. Politicians in scandals are never isolated. It affects everyone around them and you won't have that happen to your dear Bella. She should not be any more harmed by her father's sins than absolutely necessary.

***

#criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid fluff #requests

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ghostmemesource · 1 year

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👻୧‿︵‿︵ ash vs. evil dead sentence starters

these are quotes taken from the starz series ash vs. evil dead. send in one of the prompts below for my muse’s response. please change pronouns/names where you see fit.

First thing I got to do is see a guy about a book. Must be some spell I can say to undo all this.

The other first thing I got to do is some cardio, ’cause my heart is jackhammering like a quarterback on prom night.

One false move, and I will Second Amendment your brains all over this truck.

We’re not leaving a trail of blood and guts behind us, we’re keeping Michigan moist.

There’s one thing I learned from [name]. Shoot first, ask questions never.

Last time I was here with a girl, I was hopin’ to get laid.

If I’ve learned anything from you, [name], it’s that if something seems too good to be true, it probably is.

Hey, I’m looking for a friend. He’s, uh, tall, dumb, smells like… bread.

You fought this thing before. Maybe you just got to finish what you started.

Yes, I’m upset. Yes, I’m behind the wheel. Yes, I’m drunk. And maybe my license isn’t the fancy kind from the DMV. But at least I’m drunk!

Without good, there is no evil.

With all due respect, your tiny brain is a lot safer without my problems inside it.

Trust me, once you get jacked in the face, it’ll all click. I can’t even get my nut up to rumble unless I’ve had a good shot to the chin.

Once again I saved the world. Now it's time to get the girl.

Most people go through life thinkin’ they’re totally safe. People like us, we know the truth. Life is hard and dangerous, and sometimes you just gotta chop off somebody’s head to survive.

I kill demons, not people. Unless those people are demons, who look like people. And then I kill people, but they’re not really people, they’re demons. You understand?

Never get between a papa bear and his cub.

What’s out there knows that you’re alive, and it wants you to be… un-alive.

Well, good news I found a piece of pie with no blood on it. Anybody want a bite?

To save those two, I would submit to a prostate exam.

This town is only big enough for one asshole, and that asshole is me.

Sometimes what you think you saw, it’s exactly what you saw.

Someone needs to wash your mouth out, kid. And that someone is me.

Now I’m gonna kill you, just like I killed your father! I didn’t really kill your father, that just kinda sounded cool.

I gotta warn you, you’re gonna want to leave your husband for me, and I can’t let that happen. Family values.

I’m not drunk enough to know if this is good-weird or bad-weird. But I’ll get there though.

I’m going to be like a ninja losing his virginity, quick and discreet.

I told you. A good shot to the face always gets the juices flowin’.

Thanks for the opinion, appreciate it. Now you can take it, turn it sideways, shove it right up the old poop chute.

When you get back to Hell, work on your aim.

Do you know what evil is, [name]? It’s power without fear, without guilt, and without pain.

Hey, good looking. You here to break me out or break me in?

I'm gonna get you pregnant later.

I'd know that caboose from anywhere.

Even if this goes perfectly, there's a good chance you'll die.

Well, [name], it's been fun catching up. Sorry I got to kill you.

Don't you get it? Everybody dies here. It's just a rule.

If once you start down that path, forever, it will dominate your destiny.

Did you just Yoda quote me?

Alright, look, we get this done quick enough, we might have time to stop for churros.

Yeah, well, your cooking was shit.

Yeah, I remember when I was like you. Young, dumb, full of… conflicting emotions.

Sweet musical Jesus, that's your friend? Oh, she's filthy and fine!

She haunts my dreams. Just kidding. She does, though.

Do me a favor will ya, thank your mother for me? She passed her genes down to you in all the right places.

Damn, [name]. Badass.

Why are you covered in blood?

So look, uh, I'm not a grief counselor, but if it's any consolation, I have had to kill and bury loved ones before. A bunch of times, actually.

Oh sure. I'll just sit here with the police officer we tied up and rethink my recent life choices.

Get ahold of yourself, woman!

I'm gonna say a lot of dumb things.

#rp meme #rp memes #sentence starters rp meme

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goose-duck · 2 months

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Cars are confusing 🚗

One piece story about Sabo trying to get his old car put in Luffy's name from Ace's point of view as a tag-along

+slight romance (not between asl obviously, they're brothers, but I've seen some odd stuff so I gotta clarify 😭)

Modern AU (obviously)

~~~~~~

Ace's POV:

I'm sitting in the back of the car, Sabo and Luffy are in the front. I'd be in the front but Sabo doesn't trust my driving and Luffy beat me to the passenger seat. We're currently going to get Sabo's old car put in Luffy's name since he got his full license a few weeks ago and Sabo agreed to give him his car once he does.

On the way there Sabo complains about one of his co-workers who always comes to work drunk. I add my own input, I don't like the guy either, so it's mostly insults towards him. Luffy, strangely enough just sits and listens, he must be tired, it is kinda early, 9:00 in the morning on a weekend.

After a while we get onto the topic of this boy Luffy likes. His name is Law, luffy talks about him like no one else matters, like this man is the sun on a cloudy day. It's cute, I'm happy he's found someone he can love and by the sounds of it, someone who loves him all the same.

Eventually we get to the insurance place. We park across the street, me and Luffy get out while Sabo grabs the papers. We walk in and Sabo immediately recognizes someone there, her name is Koala, they seem close. She's currently working with another client so they just say a quick hello before we all sit down and wait.

An older lady comes out to talk with us about getting Luffy's name put on the car. Sabo and the lady talk for a while and they ask Luffy some questions. I'm not really paying attention as I only tagged along to go to the mall after they sort this out. I play music tiles on my phone for a while until Sabo tells us we have to go to the DMV. Luffy groans knowing it's a bit of a drive to get there, I just sigh a bit, already regretting tagging along as just their conversation here took 20 minutes.

After a long drive we finally get to the DMV. I wonder why they don't just have the two places side by side, it'd be much easier.

We walk into the building, Sabo goes straight to a receptionist with the papers and they start talking. Me and Luffy stand behind him, Luffy not knowing what's going on and me not overly caring. We stand here for a solid 10 minutes before Sabo has to call the insurance place because apparently we needed to do more stuff there first and the old lady sent us off prematurely.

Sabo is put on hold for 15 minutes before he gives up and tells us to just sit and wait a bit and he'll try again. Good timing because I was about to fall asleep standing up. Luffy promptly sits down, pulling out his phone to watch tiktoks. I sit beside him and lean back in my seat a bit, closing my eyes and sighing. Sabo sits across from us and apologizes that it's taking so long. I tell him not to blame himself for other people's mistakes before letting myself relax again.

I start chatting with Luffy about Law again, wanting to know more. Luffy tells me a lot, about how they were close in grade 9 then this girl kept harassing Law and being lovey with him anytime Luffy was around and how that drove the two apart because it made it awkward and difficult for Law to be around Luffy. Luffy said this continued and is still happening but that Luffy and Law finally have a class without her and they've been able to be close again. I let out a sigh or relief knowing that that girl isn't causing as much trouble now, even if it's only because she literally cant. It's just unfortunate that that means they spent about a year completely split apart by her as they're now in grade 11.

Sabo suddenly grabs my foot. He tells me he loves my shoes and asks where I got them. I tell him I got them at Ardene and he asks how much they cost. I told him I got them on sale but that I'm pretty sure the sale is over now, but that at the time they were $12.99. he tells me that sounds like a good deal and that he's going to go buy himself some even if they aren't on sale. I tell him to just be sure he doesn't mistake his shoes for mine and Luffy butts in saying Sabo's feet are too big for us to mix up out shoes. Sabo makes an offended face which is quickly cut off by a phone call from the insurance place. Sabo picks up quickly and starts talking with the person on the line. Sabo start to get up, signaling us to get up and follow him back to the car.

Sabo hangs up the phone and gets in the car with an exasperated sigh. Me and Luffy also get back in the car asking what's up. Sabo tells us that we have to go back to the insurance place and that Luffy's gonna have to sign a bunch of papers. Luffy seems annoyed that he has to sign papers while I'm just concerned that anyone will even be able to read his handwriting.

Eventually we get back to the insurance place and walk in again. This time we're greeted by a very attractive man, I can feel myself blushing at the sight of him. Luffy playfully punches me and wiggles his eyebrows, he so knows I think this guy's hot. Sabo starts talking to him as he leads us to a room, sitting behind the desk and inviting us to sit down on the other side. Sabo sits but me and Luffy both opt for standing as Luffy doesn't like to sit still and I just didn't feel like sitting after all of the driving we did.

The man says his name is Marco, what a nice name for such an attractive man...i hope he's single. Luffy keeps making faces at me while Sabo talks with Marco. Luffy signs some papers and answers some questions. Eventually Luffy says that the room is kind of barren and that Marco should put up some pictures, maybe of bands or maybe of his girlfriend. I see what he's doing, trying to see if this guy is even single, nevermind if he's into men. The guy says he's sure his girlfriend would like that. I get a little sad but don't let it show as ultimately it isn't a big deal. Luffy gives me a look and I glare at him a bit. Sabo adds onto Luffy's comment by saying Marco should put flowers around the picture of his girlfriend and I add that he should put little lights with it too, reminiscing on the time when I was in grade 9 and we had a teacher that looked just like Edd Sheeran and we made a small shrine of Edd Sheeran in his class room.

After all of that we finally leave, Sabo telling us we can finally go to the mall. Luffy states that he's excited to go to the candy store. I tell Sabo I want to go to the furniture store and get some new pillows for my bed. Sabo just giggles at the both of us saying he's going clothes shopping. I then remember my shoes that Sabo was so fond of and joke that he's going to go buy himself some. He gives me a look and simply states, "yes." before we get in the car and he drives off to the mall.

#asl brothers #modern au ace #portgas d ace #monkey d. luffy #modern au sabo #Modern au luffy #sabo one piece #revolutionary sabo #one piece #Modern au op #op modern au

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talialovesmiw · 6 months

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Accident (Ricky “Horror” Olson x Reader)

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, lots of fluff

Warnings: Crying, cursing

All in reader’s pov

A/N: This story is based off of something that happened to me not too long ago, so this one is personal. Please drive safely and be careful out there 🫶🏻

……………………………………………………………………………

Driving has always been scary to me. I took Driver’s Ed in my sophomore year of high school and passed the written test, and I did go to driving school, but I was always so anxious behind the wheel. I didn’t get to practice much with my parents since they were busy, so I never got to take my road test.

Driving was never a priority I guess. I was always able to take the bus to college, so that wasn’t a problem. I walked to work, which I didn’t mind doing, but there was a problem. I hated my job and wanted to get out. I was treated like shit by customers daily, and the workload was rough. I only stuck around because it was close to home and it paid well. After working there for 5 years, I was at my breaking point. I wanted out. I wanted a new job. What sucks is that there were no other jobs near me that were hiring, which meant two things. Either I continued working somewhere I felt miserable, or I got my license. I thought about it for a long time, but I decided to get my license. I didn’t want to be trapped with a job I hated.

My friend Ricky supported me the whole time while I made my choice. He was a few years older than me, him being 35 and me being 27, but that never mattered. We met at Hot Topic while I was looking at band t-shirts. I was looking at a ‘Motionless in White’ shirt when he asked if I liked his band, it took me by surprise. I was so shocked to see the guitarist of one of my favorite bands talking to me in my favorite store. He was so nice about it. We ended up becoming friends after that. That was 4 years ago. He was always there for me whenever I needed someone to talk to, and he always listened whenever I ranted about a bad day at work. I don’t know where I’d be without him.

My dad took me to the DMV and we got my permit renewed and I had to retake my written test. I passed it and got the OK to start driving again. I was nervous, but my parents and Ricky supported me. The first few days were shaky, as it was my first time in years behind the wheel, but nothing went wrong. I slowly got better and better and my confidence grew. Maybe this time, things would go well! Right?...

I was wrong. I was driving with my dad on a road I had been on before. I was doing really well up until I had to make a lane change. Normally, I was good at this, not this time. The first time I checked my mirrors, the lane was clear. I guess I didn’t check enough. As I went to change from the right to the left lane, I side-swiped a truck.

“Y/N! What are you doing?!” My dad yelled as I quickly corrected myself, but it had been too late. “Pull over!” My dad stated firmly as I pulled into a parking lot. My breathing was uneasy as I got out of the car, and when I saw the scratches on the side of the car, I immediately started sobbing. It wasn’t too bad, but it was noticeable. The car had already been in rough shape and my dad was going to get a new one soon, but still. The other driver never pulled over, he just kept going, there wasn’t any damage to his vehicle either so I was off the hook there, “Great…” he muttered, “Alright, you’re done, I’m taking you home now.” He stated calmly. He wasn’t an angry man but I knew he was upset.

“I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean it, I really didn’t mean it!” I sobbed as I got into the car again, this time on the passenger's side. He shook his head.

“I don’t know what you were thinking. You were doing so well up until then. You gotta be more careful. It’s done. You got lucky the guy didn’t pull over, but still…now I’m scared to be on the road with you.” My dad said as he drove, his words hurting more than they should’ve. I know he didn’t mean to hurt my feelings or be mean, but it only made me feel worse. I could only sob apologies repeatedly and say I didn’t mean it as I hugged my knees to my chest.

“I don’t know why I’m such a fuck up…” I muttered as I cried. He pulled into a parking space near my apartment and stopped the car.

“Look Y/N, I know you didn’t mean it but you have to pay attention. We’re gonna take some time away from driving until you feel more confident, okay?” I wiped my tears away and nodded, my dad looking at me, “Listen, I gotta go to work now, I’ll talk to you later..” he said as I looked away, not wanting to look at the damage I’ve done. He sighed and pulled away, leaving me alone by my door.

I once again started sobbing as I dropped to my knees, crying hysterically. I was so upset with myself. I had a bad feeling I’d do something stupid like this. This was why I didn’t want to drive. I felt so stupid and horrible, “Stupid! I’m so stupid, I’m such an idiot! I don’t know why I have to fuck everything up…” I sobbed as I cried into my hands. I cried for a good 15 minutes on the ground before I stood up sniffling and walked into my apartment. I ran for my bed and hugged one of the pillows, and cried into that too.

Not too long later, my mom found out what happened and basically said the same things my dad said. My parents recommended a driving school, but I refused the idea quickly. What good would that do for me? It was a mistake that I had to work on, if I even wanted to get back on the road. I didn’t tell either of them I was considering not driving anymore as I knew they’d be pissed off, so I just told them I’d talk to them later. I knew who I wanted to talk to. Someone who I knew who’d comfort me…hopefully. I dialed Ricky’s number, and sniffled as I waited for him to answer. After 2 rings, he answered.

“Hey Y/N, what’s up?” He asked

“Rick…I got into an accident…” I cried, tears coming down my face again

“Oh my god! Are you okay? What happened?!” He sounded really concerned, I knew that when I would tell him what happened, he would think I’m some stupid idiot.

“It was my fault Rick…I wasn’t paying enough attention when changing lanes and I side-swiped a truck! He didn’t pull over though but now my dad’s car has scratches on it and I feel terrible and stupid and-”

“Woah woah hey, calm down, breathe. Do you need me to pick you up?” He interrupted me and tried talking in a calm tone, but I could tell he was still really worried.

“No…I-I’m home now…my dad dropped me off..” I muttered as I tried to calm down, but I couldn’t. I felt so horrible, and I felt my anxiety getting worse.

“Okay, I’m coming over. I’ll be there in 10.” He said before hanging up. I sighed before I pulled my knees to my chest again and cried, trying to control my breathing. Time passed by pretty quickly and I heard my apartment door open. I wasn’t surprised as I had given Ricky a spare key. “Y/N?” I heard him call as I heard his footsteps.

“In my room…” I said quietly, but loud enough for him to hear at least. I heard him open my bedroom door and then close it behind him. He walked up to the bed and sat down next to me.

“Hey..” He said softly

“Hi..” I muttered, I glanced up at him briefly before shoving my face in my knees again.

“Come here…” he said gently as he pulled me into a hug, wrapping his arms tightly around me. I didn’t know how badly I needed his hug until I hugged back and grabbed his shirt, crying into it. We stayed like that for a little while until I finally spoke.

“I feel so stupid Rick…it was my fault and I feel so horrible..” I said in between sobs. He rubbed my back gently and one of his hands held my head while the other stayed wrapped around my back. He pressed his face into my hair and kissed my head.

“I’m just relieved you’re okay Y/N, but you gotta be more careful…what if you got hurt…” He said quietly as he pulled me closer. I shoved my face into his shoulder and hugged him tighter.

“I know…I’m scared to go back on the road now…what if I fuck up again…what if I get someone or myself hurt…I-I don’t want to risk it..I should just stay at my job and suffer, I deserve it..” I mumbled. Ricky pulled away slightly and held my face in one of his hands and looked into my eyes.

“Y/N, accidents are going to happen. This isn’t gonna be your last accident. This shit happens. You just need more practice and pay more attention. You shouldn’t beat yourself up because of it. I know it’s hard, cause I’ve been in accidents where it was my fault too, I get how you’re feeling, but things will get better, and you’ll be okay in the end, I promise.” He said firmly but with a gentle smile at the end. I sniffled and wiped away my tears, but they still came down, just not as hard.

“It’s gonna take some time to be able to feel confident behind the wheel again…I’m scared again. It’ll be hard to look at my dad’s car for a while..” I said quietly, looking down.

“And that’s perfectly okay. I got into an accident with my parents’ car when I was 17, and I had a similar reaction to you. Things will get better Y/N, it’ll take time, but you’ll feel better.”

“Do you think I’ll get better?..”

“Of course you will,” He said as he pulled me back into another hug, “Accidents are gonna happen, but you shouldn’t let it stop you. You’ll learn from your mistakes and they’ll be a reminder to just pay attention. You’re gonna do great.” I could feel him smiling as he spoke, calming me down slowly.

“I don’t know where I’d be without you Rick…thank you..” I said as I leaned into his arms more. He kissed the top of my head again before pulling me closer.

“Of course, I care about you a lot Y/N. You mean a lot to me and I’d never want you to feel like you’re a fuck up.” He said softly, gently rubbing my back again.

“You mean a lot to me too, Rick…” I said as I felt my eyelids becoming heavier. He smiled softly at me.

“I’ll stay the night with you, it’s late and I can tell you’re tired.” He said, starting to get up, but I held his hand gently.

“Can you stay here…just a little longer…please?” I asked softly, he smiled at me before sitting back down on the bed.

“Of course,” He said as he wrapped his arms around me again. He laid back a little on the bed and I leaned into him. I couldn’t help but smile softly as my eyes slowly became heavier. It wasn’t long before we fell asleep.

#motionless in white #miw band #motionless in white x reader #ricky olson #ricky horror #ricky olson x reader #ricky horror x reader #x reader #fluff #light angst #angst with a happy ending #hurt/comfort

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strugglinguist · 8 months

Text

I've had a realization, and I need to share it before I forget it. We need some context first, though.

My therapist and I talked at length about how to navigate the start of the new semester in the best way possible for me in terms of the change in routine, sensory issues, mobility needs, etc. She wanted me try to be proactive rather than reactive to the situations that arise. (She's a very good therapist.)

Sorry this is a long one. Click for more I guess...

For example, I have a heart condition called Inappropriate Sinus Tachycardia (IST). Along with what I like to think of as a medical license to be inappropriate at any time, it means that my heart will race for no reason. Sometimes it's postural like POTS, so I can stand up too fast... but I can also just... feel like I'm sprinting when I'm sitting very calmly. Imagine you sprinted on and off all day. You'd be exhausted at the end of the day, too! With meds now, it's a lot better than it was... so it's more like... I'm jogging throughout the day? The analogy has gotten away from me. 🤷‍♀️

Whenever my heart races, I get really hot and break out in sweat from everywhere. This would just be annoying, but I am REALLY REALLY heat-sensitive. It is one of the top 3 ways I will go into an Autistic meltdown. So my heart races, I get hot and sweaty, and then I can't focus on anything else. It doesn't take long for the situation to get out of hand. I know this, so I have a little desk fan I take with me to classes if I need moving air. This is when my therapist BLEW MY MIND! (She really is a very good therapist.)

She told me that the accommodations I had allowed for myself (sitting while teaching and a fan if I need it) would not avoid a meltdown because they are things you do to maintain equilibrium... if I'm already overstimulation, I don't need maintenance. I need to shock my nervous system back into maintenance. She said, "When you're overstimulated like that, you don't need a fan. You need ice." And like... yes duh! So I got one of those face rollers people use for their skin routine, and it was my "shock" to take with me. And it works AMAZINGLY. Seriously. Life changed.

After all of our prep, this week was a true gauntlet of a test. What was supposed to be a one day adventure of helping the roommate buy a car turned into a 7 day marathon of phone calls, discoveries, learning way too much about the state of car insurance in this country, and then finally getting everything in order for the DMV to close for a holiday weekend. It was also the first week of classes, so I was returning to my job that very loudly rejected me this summer. It's hopefully my last year in academia, so I'm feeling every emotion. Oh and my dad was in the hospital for an amputation. Basically... it was ripe for meltdowns basically every day. And let me tell you... not a one. This summer I've been having a meltdown about once a week. I can't... this therapist deserves all of the money.

Now for my realization! (Remember that was where we started?) I realized that in the past when I knew I was overstimulated and couldn't promptly exit the situation, I would try to dissociate and go to a happy cold place. Somehow, I had subconsciously bought into the idea that Autistic sensory needs are mental needs... and they are quite literally physical, nervous system needs. And when you treat them as such, and don't try to "just push through" the very real physical situation you are in that you are sensitive to... life gets exponentially better. Seriously. My life is so much better. I just needed to share. 😊

#actually autistic #autistic adult #IST #hEDS #disability #accommodations #workplace accommodations #realizations

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buttercupjosh · 8 months

Text

nineteen

(Gif credit to @fivehole)

word count: 5,152

warnings: none

genres: strangers to lovers to ex’s, a bit sad, somewhat happy ending

A/N: To start, I know that Nolan’s not as popular anymore and his future in the NHL is looking a bit bleak but despite that, this story exists. This story is based off of the songs, the Hayley Williams cover of Nineteen by Tegan and Sara, (which is where the title comes from), You All Over Me by Taylor Swift feat Maren Morris and Last Kiss by Taylor Swift (I highly recommend listening to those songs before reading. I’m taking vibes, elements and references from them and putting them in the story and listening will also help with understanding the plot). I’ve wanted to write a fic based off of those songs for a while and my vision for the story works best with Nolan. It’s set in a timeline format by the hockey season. It’s written with a female reader in mind because I’m a female of color but the reader doesn’t specifically have to be a POC or a woman and there’s no dialogue. As always, I’m open to any and all feedback, comments or questions; just put them in my inbox or dm me. Thank you so much in advance for reading, I appreciate it😌

(P.S. I have other stories (linked here) that I have written for other players as well if you want to check it out)

“You were mine, always but now you’re gone. Look what we’ve become, just another sad song of a love gone wrong.” -Pictures by Judah and the Lion feat. Kacey Musgraves

2017-18

Nolan could feel you in his limbs before he ever met you and he could feel you in his life before he ever thought to. How can you feel someone that you don’t even know yet? On the day you met, Nolan felt an unexplained tingle in his body. He was dreading having to go to the DMV but he misplaced his license so on a rare weekday off, he went to get a replacement license. Nolan really needed his license; he legally couldn’t drive without it. He could only imagine the chaos that would ensue if the recently 2nd overall NHL draft pick was pulled over and caught driving without his license so he couldn’t put off getting it done. To top it off, Nolan felt this weird tingling sensation in his body so he mentally made a note to talk about it with the team doctor. Travis (TK) kindly dropped Nolan off at the DMV and continued with his other plans for the off day. For you, you had some time after your classes to pop into the DMV to renew your license, which was going to expire soon because your birthday was coming up.

That tingling feeling that Nolan was experiencing went away when you first interacted with each other in that crowded waiting room back in 2018, in the middle of his first season with the Flyers. The softness in your voice asking if the seat next to him was taken directly contrasted with the deepness of Nolan’s voice. It was going to be a long wait so to pass the time, you and Nolan started talking to each other. Nolan usually was against unnecessary small talk and preferred to keep to himself but chatting with you felt different. Throughout these conversations, you learned little details about each other; details that would be held onto throughout the course of your relationship. You learned that Nolan was actually a funny guy behind his intimidating demeanor and he learned that you deeply valued family. The connection that you had made in the hours of waiting felt special to Nolan. You didn’t even know each other for that long and that well but it was almost like you could feel each other in your hearts as you talked. Since Nolan had arrived before you did, his number was called sooner so he left first. Before leaving, he quickly wrote his number down on the back of the waiting room ticket.

Later that same day, you sent Nolan a text to check in on him and that started a long text chain between the two of you. In the beginning of your friendship, Nolan definitely had his walls up but as you got to know more about each other, the walls came down. Nolan enjoyed talking to you because you made him feel like a regular person, not some superstar; the pressure of being a high NHL draft pick disappeared in the chats that you shared. Over time, he became more comfortable and trusting with you, even inviting you to his games and team events and telling his teammates about you. You began falling for each other and your relationship grew from texting buddies to friends to lovers. Your relationship with Nolan was quiet but it worked well that way. There was a slow introduction to the most important people in your lives; you’ll never forget how your father complimented Nolan’s handshake and how that handshake indicated to him that Nolan was a strong man and your mother admired how Nolan treated you so well. Nolan didn’t want outsiders to judge and ridicule his relationship with you so there were no direct social media posts of your presence in each other’s lives –only small snippets of his face or hands in your Instagram story posts, listening to songs that you liked or that reminded him of you on his story posts and location tags of being at the same place– but the right people knew you were together. There were also fun things, like surprise flowers and other gifts at your door, inside jokes, and secret road trips down to the beaches on the Jersey Shore. You were down so bad for Nolan and he could make you melt like ice cream on a hot June day with just one look. Nolan was down badly too; he tried to be all cool and push it aside but as soon as you walked into the room or opened his car door, the heat in his cheeks would rise and it was game over. The first year of your relationship together was so amazing until things changed.

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2018-19

Due to your summer internship commitments, you only got to spend 2 weeks in Winnipeg with Nolan before school started back up at the end of August. Nolan was anxious about you coming to his safe space of his hometown; it rained the day you arrived and the smell of rain brought comfort to him. As both a test and a joke, you ran towards your boyfriend in the airport to see how he would respond. Nolan saw you running at him and his first reaction was to open his arms to catch you; having you in his arms meant everything to him.

Nolan isn’t a man of many words but being with you made him want to sing. On your first night in Winnipeg, Nolan took you to a bonfire party to meet some of his friends. At the party, you mixed and mingled with the people who Nolan trusted the most. Nolan even pulled you in for a dance, which surprised you because he knew that you weren’t much of a dancer and also that he would bust out a move in front of so many people. After the party flamed out, you and Nolan drove back to his house and by the time you arrived, it was almost 2 am. Before going inside, Nolan had looked at you with those blue eyes of his that you adored and you could sense that he was nervous; something was up. Nolan took a deep breath and told you that he loved you for the first time in that same deep voice that captivated you when you first met and you repeated it back to him. You always knew in your heart that you loved Nolan but hearing him say it meant so much more.

Summer Nolan was much more laid back and chill than Hockey Season Nolan. During your time in his hometown, Nolan showed you around the place that shaped him into who he was and let you meet the people who impacted him along the way; he even drove you all the way out to Brandon to see his old stomping grounds before he was drafted. It wouldn’t be summer unless he also took you fishing, hunting, and out for a day on the golf course as well. You got along well with Nolan’s family and meshed great with them. By the time you left to return to Philly, Nolan was already looking forward to bringing you back home to Winnipeg for many summers to come.

After you had left, Nolan was doing some summer training and unexpectedly started experiencing some migraines; he had experienced injuries and concussions before but this wasn’t like that. Due to Nolan’s career choice as a hockey player, he had access to the best doctors and specialists in the country so that helped relieve some of the stress that came with having a chronic illness. His migraines came with good and bad days and one of those bad days came as a test when you were together.

The first time you had ever spent the night at Nolan’s place in Philadelphia, he had a random migraine. Thankfully, it wasn’t so bad that he would miss time from playing; Nolan was still trying to navigate his newfound diagnosis but he handled it the best way that he could. At the time, he was living with Kevin (you were taking things slow and hadn’t talked about moving in together yet) so you weren’t originally planning on staying overnight but Nolan really needed you there. You weren’t trained like a doctor or nurse to take care of him but you did everything in your power to make him feel as comfortable as possible and to help to alleviate his pain. The only thing that helped Nolan was laying down in the dark with no light and you cautiously lay beside him in the darkness of his bedroom. Whenever you were sick as a child, one of your parents would come into your room to make sure you were breathing okay on your own and you did the same for Nolan. You watched him as he slept and could feel him breathe. That evening was a bit rough but Nolan was so grateful that you sacrificed your time to be with him during an unexpected, difficult situation. Like anything else in life, there would always be ups and downs but you would always be there to take care of him, no matter what.

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2019-20 and 2020-21

Nolan continued to miss time away from the team and he did his best to try to get healthy enough to return to play but it took more time than expected. Patience would end up becoming an important, key virtue throughout your relationship. During this time, you graduated early from the University of Pennsylvania with a Bachelor’s in Public Health and Nolan was super proud of you, beaming with joy from watching his lover achieve such a great accomplishment. You decided to take a year off from school before going back to get your Master’s degree in Epidemiology but then in early 2020, a pandemic hit; suddenly, you were hunkering down in Canada with Nolan and his family, your hope-to-someday-be in-laws. The world that you all knew was changing dramatically. The NHL season paused for a bit and started back up in a bubble-style tournament but due to his extended absence and health concerns, the Flyers and Nolan’s doctors felt like it was best for him to continue his recovery instead of having him come down to play in Toronto and Edmonton. You could sense the hurt from Nolan having to watch his team play in the playoffs without him and you felt that same pain, both sharing the hope for things to get better.

After the Flyers season concluded in late 2020, Nolan’s health had stabilized by then and he felt confident about returning to play so the Flyers gave him a contract for the shortened 2020-21 season. That condensed season was a bit brutal on Nolan since he hadn’t played professionally in over a year and the team wasn’t in the best condition at the time but he tried his best to persevere through it. He had a minor setback when Phillippe Myers accidentally hit him with a puck mid-game but thankfully, Nolan only missed 2 games and finished out the season without another injury. You saw a light in Nolan’s eyes when he played; a light that both shined and dimmed as time would go on.

The Flyers missed the 2021 playoffs and Nolan was so appreciative for the time off to recover but he also felt fearful for what was to come for the future. Nolan wanted to escape the criticism and pressure from being in Philly so during the 2021 off-season, he talked to you about his plans for leaving. He thought your input was super important and you were supportive of whatever he chose to do and were open to moving wherever he ended up.

The trade to Vegas was a bit surprising because there was no solid guarantee of where he was going to play but you were both grateful for the chance that the team took on Nolan and to open to this new chapter. It wasn’t easy leaving everything you knew behind in Philly but there was something exciting waiting for the both of you in the desert. You originally wanted to finish grad school in Philly but took a pause on your studies to move with Nolan to Vegas; this was also going to be the first time you had lived together. Living in Vegas had its expected highs and lows but you both made the best of the new city. You still kept in contact with some of the Flyers WAGs and made new friends with Golden Knights ladies, discovered new things to love about each other and the new place you lived. Yes, there still were some setbacks with Nolan’s health and his play needed some adjusting but it was okay because he was glad to be back on the ice and starting over somewhere new. Things were looking fine for both of you until February 16, 2022.

————————————————————

2021-22

You had a rare weekday off so you trekked down to T-Mobile Arena to go watch Nolan play. That game happened to be against the Colorado Avalanche; conference rivalry games always had some sort of chaos and drama but this time, that drama and chaos hit too close to home. As you sat in the stands, chatting away with the other WAGs, something devastating happened. Early in the first period, Nolan got hit. The hit was brutal to watch and you angrily cursed Nathan MacKinnon’s name for what he did to your man. You had always known that hockey was aggressive and physical but this hit ignited both a rage and sadness within you. During the game, you left to meet with the team doctor to discuss Nolan’s prognosis; it was a head injury so you knew what was coming ahead and you had to drive him home. You always liked when Nolan let you drive his car but this time it was different. The car ride back home was very quiet, the only noise was the sound of the other cars around you and the clicks of the turn signal. Every time you saw Nolan hurting, it made your heart break a little. You loved him so much that seeing him in pain made you feel pain and you wished that you could just erase the pain that Nolan dealt with and make him 100% better.

Nolan eventually did return to play before getting hurt again and playing his last game on March 24. After his final game, there was a shift in Nolan and the light in his eyes disappeared. His migraines continued to be on and off but the time away allowed them to stabilize for a bit. During his hiatus from hockey, Nolan became more distant and less affectionate with you. You tried to let his actions not bother you but it silently hurt you. You knew Nolan was upset with the way how his hockey season ended and you tried to comfort him and distract him from his pain but it wasn’t enough for him; it was terrifying to watch him fade away like that. Nolan was hurting a lot, not only physically but emotionally. He couldn’t quite fully escape the injuries and the lingering pressure of returning to hockey was always there. Everything in his life was centered around hockey; his identity, his goals, and the conversations people had about and with him. It was almost like he resented the sport that he was the most grateful for; hockey was the only thing people seemed to know him for and that was gone. The loss of Nolan’s hockey career would be a very challenging loss that he would grieve over but you were right there by his side to support him during this difficult time.

Throughout his recovery time, Nolan began to get rid of anything and everything that reminded him of the life that he once had but didn’t have anymore. First, it was removing the social media posts. Then, it was unfollowing his old teammates and so-called friends who never checked in on him. Finally, it was hurting you. At the end of the 2022 season, Nolan requested that you have a deep serious talk together. In the back of your mind, you knew that something big was coming; Nolan was already distant with you so maybe he needed some more time and space from you. He dropped the already expected and painful news but it didn’t make it hurt any less. Nolan expressed that you deserved better than him and being around you, unfortunately, reminded him both of his past and of a future life that he couldn’t give to you. You didn’t care about those things and it didn’t matter what he could or couldn’t do because all you wanted was him but Nolan already made up his mind to end the relationship.

You couldn’t believe that he would just give up on what you had but he did. Nolan told you he loved you so frequently but now, the feelings of love were going away. You already knew Nolan was devastated with the way his hockey career and life derailed but you never would have imagined him hurting you because of that. You were already there with him through some of the toughest moments for him and were willing to continue to stay through them; if you didn’t love Nolan as much as you did, you would have left sooner. Naturally, you tried to reason with him but everything was pointing towards the end of your relationship. It frustrated you that Nolan wanted to break up for good instead of just taking time apart from each other; you were willing to give him the time and space he desired and the hope of you possibly come back together lingered around throughout the air. You had Nolan but he ended up burning you; you thought your relationship was so solid and strong, that these setbacks and other things wouldn’t break it down but it shattered everything you built together.

Nolan blamed being young in love and wanting to meet new people as a reason for wanting to separate. Deep down, he wanted to be with someone who didn’t know or had any connection to his hockey days so that he could leave that part of himself behind; Nolan just wanted a blank slate to start over from it all but that came at the expense of the beautiful relationship you spent years in. Breaking up with you was like watching a part of himself die; you and Nolan were always separate individuals but your relationship interconnected you together in such a profound way. Nolan’s honest confession to end the relationship hurt so deeply; you could feel the pain in your chest and Nolan could feel the pain of what he did rattling in his bones. It was almost like that tingling feeling Nolan felt the day when you first met returned back.

This breakup was 100% one of those “it’s not you, it’s me” moments. Nolan felt bad about breaking your heart but he felt like the only way for him to get peace from his past wasn’t to carry things from it into his future. He wanted out because of himself, not because you were a bad person or something you did; Nolan truly did have a catch on his hands being with you but he couldn’t hold on much longer so he let you go. You held out and held on to your relationship with Nolan for so long; you sacrificed so much to be and stay with him but Nolan just didn’t want to continue. At the time, it was hard to understand why he didn’t fight for your relationship harder but maybe it was a sign that Nolan wasn’t the one for you and you were never really meant to be.

At least once every day since the first time it was shared, you would tell each other “I love you.” Now, all you could say to each other was goodbye. You could see in Nolan’s eyes that he was trying his hardest to not cry but he did anyway. For one last time, Nolan held you in his arms in a tender embrace as the both of you lost tears. Normally, a couple that just broke up wouldn’t do this but Nolan tilted your head up towards him and sealed the end of your storied relationship with a final tear-soaked kiss.

Over the course of the next few days, you packed up your respective things and began the separation, silently removing things from your shared space. Throughout your packing, you both found little mementos from your relationship; things like the paper ticket Nolan wrote his number on when he first met you, the gold N necklace Nolan gave you on your first anniversary, the birthday card you gave Nolan when he turned 23 last year, a bottle of your perfume that was Nolan’s favorite. You had also found some of Nolan’s clothes that he had given you over the years you were together. The world that you had known together had turned around and it was a lot to process; you really were beginning to enjoy your new home but now, you both had to return back to your old one. Thankfully, one of your local friends let you stay at her place in the meantime until everything was in place for you to return back to Philadelphia and Nolan stayed at the apartment. You were all his and Nolan was all yours but that was all gone. Leaving you behind wasn’t easy but he did it anyway. It was wild how you moved to Vegas at the start of the 2021-22 season and by the time the season ended in April 2022, the relationship was over.

The 2022 off-season was supposed to be different this time. At the start of the year, you and Nolan had made plans to explore Europe for an off-season couple’s trip but before the start of the summer, that trip never happened. Flights and hotels were refunded; the diamond ring Nolan had planned on proposing to you with on the trip was returned to the jewelry store. Nolan went back to his happy place at home with his family but returning to Winnipeg without you this time did hurt him a bit. As expected with returning back, Nolan had to deal with the whispers and rumors that came from people who had no idea what he was going through.

The only bright side of the otherwise sad off-season was that Nolan’s quality of life improved a lot as his migraines continued to get better with the time off; he eventually found a good regime to help him cope and he was able to do some of the things he loved, like golfing and listening to loud music. While he was home, Nolan cooked up a good plan to fly back to Philadelphia to convince you to take him back but that was all in his head; he hadn’t been to Philly since you both moved to Vegas for the trade and he never did return to play a game there. Nolan couldn’t bring himself to go back to the city that was home at one point but isn’t anymore so he let the plan go and let time pass by.

————————————————————

2022-23

The 2022 off-season turned into Nolan not returning to the NHL at all. The Vegas Golden Knights ended up winning the Stanley Cup in 2023 without him; it hurt the both of you to see Nolan’s old team succeed at achieving one of his goals. Despite the progress made in Nolan’s recovery, playing hockey full-time unfortunately never really made its way back into the picture for him.

Nolan still quietly kept tabs on you, watching you from the sidelines. You finished up your Master’s degree program and he was proud of you again, just like he was when you graduated with your Bachelor’s degree. It had been over a year since you last talked to Nolan. You tried to keep tabs on Nolan but he wasn’t really close with anyone from his old teams anymore and you only saw brief glimpses of him through his Winnipeg friends. You romantically moved on with someone new, someone who fulfilled the “if he wanted to, he would” that Nolan chose not to meet. Nolan moved on too, he met a girl in an online support group for athletes whose careers were derailed by injuries. His new girlfriend met the requirement of no hockey connections and she was great; he deeply loved and cared for her, just like he did for you.

Despite the amount of freedom you had from each other since the break up, you weren’t fully clean and still had pieces of each other left lingering all over you. You would never look at a vehicle with muddy tires the same way –they reminded you of when you and Nolan went to Hawaii for All-Star Break, rented a Jeep, and explored the island–, you would never look at anything related to ham and cheese without thinking of Nolan’s pre-game meal and how you missed going to watch him play, the migraine medication commercials made you think about the treatments that didn’t work and wondered what was helping him now. Nolan was notoriously known for his privacy and for being a lurker so you had no idea if he had truly missed you.

Sometimes, Nolan did miss you but he wasn’t going to let you know that. When the Italian restaurant that you had gone to on your first date closed down, Nolan wanted to talk to you to reminisce on those good times but he didn’t reach out, he couldn’t see orange juice without thinking about how he always kept a bottle in the fridge for you, plaid always reminded him of the flannels you wore in the fall, hearing certain songs on the radio made him wonder if you would like this song. One day, while figuring out what to listen to, Nolan came across the playlist. During your relationship, Nolan made a secret playlist called “y/n-core” and it contained all of the songs you liked and songs that reminded him of you. He listened to it whenever he missed you; when you found out about it, you made a similar playlist for him. Music was something important to both of you so deleting the playlist was hard so you both kept it; Nolan would secretly listen to it whenever he missed you and look back at old photos from when you were together and when you missed him, you would put on one of his old shirts and play it as a coping mechanism.

Looking back at the relationship, some questions began to arise. Were there any warning signs that you missed beforehand that could have indicated that the relationship was doomed? Could you blame Nolan for wanting a change? Could you blame Nolan for not changing his mind and not wanting to reconcile what you had? Could Nolan blame you for moving on when he didn’t want to stay together? Neither of you would have ever thought your relationship would have ended the way it did. It started off like a beautiful love song but it crumbled like a piece of paper when it ended. Neither of you would say that you wasted your time being together because you lived and learned throughout your relationship; you both carried those things into your new relationships. Even though you’re not sure if you’ll ever see or hear from him again, you had hoped that Nolan was doing okay and he had the same hope for you. Over time, you forgave Nolan for what he did and Nolan forgave himself for his actions. You understood why Nolan broke your heart the way that he did; he did it because he loved you so much that he willingly walked away from you so that someone better could come into the picture. Nolan’s capacity for love was enough for you but he saw it differently so you had to fully accept his decision.

Even though you’ve both moved on to new partners, your name and Nolan’s name still lingered on each other’s lips whenever either of you kissed your new lover. Sometimes, you missed the moments when Nolan would randomly interrupt you with a kiss (your new partner wouldn’t attempt such a thing) and Nolan actually missed doing it to you and couldn’t bring himself to continue that with his new girlfriend. Every now and then, the feelings of missing each other would occasionally sink in and you both would miss and think about the other. You both hated missing each other because you both had new lovers, but that didn’t prevent those feelings coming up. Sometimes, you both wished that the other would call but those calls would never come and you had to let each other go. If you somehow did end up back together, it would cause more pain than love; how do you fully trust someone who hurt you so much? You both still carried a little of the love you shared together but things would never go back to being the same. After being out of touch for so long, there was no point in trying to revitalize the relationship you had together or to even try attempting to be friends because you were both on different roads and chapters in life. The last drop of rain from the storm of your relationship dried off the pavement and there were no physical stains left behind.

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20xx-xx (Epilogue)

Many years later, when you were chilling with your new partner at your apartment, they accidentally spilled water on their shirt so you gave them one of Nolan’s old practice shirts to wear. Seeing your new lover wear something from your old lover made you short-circuit for a minute. How can someone that you love now look so good in something that belonged to someone you loved before? Your new lover also asked you to marry them underneath a pillow fort while wearing Nolan’s old shirt with your dream ring and the date this occurred was the 19th. On a warm sandy beach somewhere, Nolan proposed to his new girlfriend on the exact same day with the same ring you wanted (his now fiancee’s dream ring). Throughout your relationship with Nolan, the number 19 started appearing more in your life and started holding more importance to you because of him. It was Nolan’s jersey number in Philadelphia (changed to 41 in Vegas), his birthday was on the 19th of September, it was part of the address of the first place you lived together, and it was the age that you fell in love with each other. The number nineteen meant something significant to the both of you and neither of you would ever forget it.

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