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mind-empty-just-fictional-people · 1 year

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birth plan

masterlist

summary: you’re pregnant with castiel’s baby… or is it babies?

pairing: castiel x female reader

rating: R for language

word count: 1.5k

warnings: pregnancy, language, medical inaccuracies i think (i’ve never been pregnant so i don’t think i describe the feeling well)

timeline: this is set in no particular season/episode but there are spoilers for the later seasons (certain characters).

author’s note: i’m basing this off a dream i had - before said dream i never even thought of cas this way at all (gotta love that subconscious, huh?) anyway, i couldn’t stop thinking of this dream so here’s a cas fic :)

when you found out you were pregnant with castiel’s baby you freaked out. not the expected ‘holy fuck there’s a living thing growing inside me’ but more like ‘holy fuck i’m gonna die in a few months cause there’s a tiny angel in my uterus’.

you cried while telling castiel, you were terrified. he assured you he wouldn’t let you die, he promised you would be okay and that the two of you could raise the baby together. if you did live, you had no clue how to raise a kid, or if you even wanted to. you had been raised a hunter and you hated it. when you were six your biggest fear was tornadoes but by the time you were seven your biggest fear was being torn apart by one of the monsters you had learned to fight.

castiel was so happy about the baby, so excited. he knew you would be a fantastic mother and he couldn’t wait to have a baby with you. he knew the baby would be loved unconditionally by so many people, too; you, him, dean, sam, jack, mary, and eileen - all of whom lived in the bunker.

as the months went by the pains grew almost unbearable. you took time away from hunting and had to stay in the bunker. castiel always made sure someone would be in the bunker with you (preferably not alone with jack, who tended to ask questions that scared you - “what if the baby is like me and you have to push a full sized person out” for example). most days cas would stay right next to you but on the rare occasion he needed to be on a hunt, you’d be alone with either eileen, mary, or one of the brothers (rowena visited a couple times, but that was more for trying to find some magical tylenol for the immense pain). you didn’t mind castiel going on hunts, in fact you wished he’d go on more so you wouldn’t feel like you were holding him back.

one morning you woke up and the pain was horrible - it felt like the baby was stabbing you from the inside. castiel tried healing you, but it was no use. the two of you decided an ultrasound was necessary.

“what?” you practically screamed, your eyes wide with fear.

“there must be some kind of mistake?” castiel knotted his brows and stared at the black and white screen in shock.

“no mistake, three heartbeats,” the doctor smiled slightly, wanting to make you feel better, but it obviously did nothing.

“cas i can’t push three kids out!” you whispered. he was holding your left hand in his and standing beside you, his right arm was draped over your shoulder. “cas- castiel i can’t! i- i’m not strong enough! i won’t!” tears were streaming down your face when you turned away from the screen and to the angel.

“could you give us a minute?” cas asked the doctor, she nodded and left. “honey it’s gonna be alright.”

“three baby angels, cas! three! how- how the fuck am i supposed to push three angels out of me, cas?” you were practically sobbing at this point. “i- i’m gonna die, aren’t i?”

“no! no you won’t! i promise you, i will not let you die,” he pulled you into his chest and rubbed your back lovingly. “i know this must be scary, triplets is- it’s gonna be painful.” he kissed the crown of your head.

“but three babies! i mean if i do, by some miracle, manage to give birth and survive, how are we gonna raise three kids, cas?” you wrapped your arms around his torso, pulling him as close to you as you could.

“well, we do have four adults and a nephilim excited to help,” he answered, causing you to laugh lightly. it’s true, you had all the support you could need.

cas drove the two of you back to the bunker and you were met with said four adults and nephilim immediately asking where you had been. the five of them were on a hunt and got back while you and cas were at the ob/gyn. you hadn’t left the bunker in months so they had assumed the worst.

you told them the news and they all reacted differently than you and cas. they were so excited, it made you realized they really wanted to help raise the kids. (infact, they had all began thinking of names and had cleaned out the room next to your’s and cas’ for the babies.)

castiel knew that your pregnancy wouldn’t last as long as a normal pregnancy so he wanted to come up with a birth plan. dean purchased new burner phones for each person that were never to be silenced or turned off and the only people who had the numbers were the seven of you. the second you went into labor, someone near you (or you, if you could) would call castiel immediately. if possible they would also notify the others.

another couple months or so went by. you were due any day now - but you had been due any day for over two weeks. you had gotten somewhat used to the pain and rowena had come up with a simple spell with some herbs that you’d mix with your tea every couple hours to help with the pain. garth had moved into the bunker temporarily - he was a trained doula after having to deliver werewolf pups. rowena moved in temporarily too, but that was more for moral support and pain management.

“cas you haven’t left the bunker in over a month! go on this hunt,” you assured him. it was a hunt close by and he was going to take jack with him.

“promise you won’t go into labor til i get back?”

“i won’t let these kiddos leave,” you smile, patting your stomach playfully. he gave you a peck on the lips before leaving with jack.

a couple hours in, you began getting long, sharp pains every few minutes. rowena was the one who recognized the pains as contractions.

“you’re going into labor, we need to get you to the birth room.” she took your your hand gently but you whipped it away.

“no, no i promised cas i’d wait for him,” you shook your head. “the babies are just gonna have to stay put for a whi- ah!” you scrunched your face in pain, holding your stomach.

“okay, we’ll get cas on the phone, we can pray for jack - they’ll be here before you know it,” she tried to reason with you and motioned you to follow her. you shook your head vigorously and didn’t move your feet, absolutely terrified of what was about to happen.

“holy shit,” your eyes widened, cloudy with tears. “my water- i think my water just broke!” you both looked down. “that’s- that’s broken water!”

“exactly hun, you’re going into labor you need to let me help you to the birth room, okay?”

“oh- okay,” you nodded and she helped you to the room. she called out that you were going into labor as she walked you over.

about a month ago the brothers and jack came home to the bunker with a hospital bed from the maternity ward. you didn’t ask how they got it, but you were grateful they did. everyone helped set up the room; towels, blankets, a mini freezer for ice chips, and just about anything you might need while in labor and giving birth.

sam and dean carefully helped you onto the bed. mary called cas and within seconds he and jack were in the room.

“cas!” you smiled, relieved to see him.

“hey, y/n, how are you?” he asked, rushing to your side and tightly holding your hand.

“i’m in pain, cas, i’m about to push three celestial beings out my vagina!” you said dryly.

“right, right, okay it’ll be okay, though,” he kissed your forehead. “you’re gonna be okay. jack’s here and he will keep you alive and well.”

“okay,” you whispered.

“time to start pushing, y/n,” garth announced.

within the hour you had pushed all three babies out. three identical baby boys; with cas’ piercing blue eyes and your winning smile. you were absolutely exhausted, but you were alive. you were holding one baby, cas was holding another, and garth was holding the third.

“so, what’re we naming the little guys?” cas asked, a huge smile on his face and his eyes not moving away from his new baby boy.

“this one’s sam,” you smiled down at the tiny being in your arms. “he’s the biggest.”

“then that makes this little guy dean, he’s a smallest,” cas laughed a little in response. dean would’ve been annoyed at the height joke but he was so honored you were naming a kid after him.

“what about this little guy?” garth asked.

“bobby,” you smiled.

no one went on any hunts for almost two weeks. they all stayed and helped with the babies. baby dean would be named dean jack y/l/n, baby sam would be named samuel charles y/l/n, and baby bobby would be named robert garth y/l/n.

#supernatural #castiel #dean winchester #sam winchester #jack kline #rowena macleod #garth fitzgerald iv #mary winchester #spn #spn fanfic #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fluff #castiel fanfiction #castiel x reader #castiel comfort #castiel x pregnant reader #pregnant reader #by mind empty just fictional people #by jean

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beccalendsahand · 1 year

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ZuCasino, Yuzuka Rei: October 2022

Long time no translations! It's been a busy year but I finally found the time to finish an interview that I really really love, I hope you are able to understand more about Rei with this sweet Q&A! ZuCasino is a current segment in Takarazuka Graph magazine where prominent otokoyaku get interviewed via a series of casino-style games and questions. October was with Yuzuka Rei. I've tried something a little different this time around where the first time an actress's name is mentioned I link her takawiki page. I've also done translation notes as I go rather than putting them all at the end. Let me know if you find this helpful or just too much. Without further ado, enjoy!

Part 1: Episode Roulette

We challenged Yuzuka Rei to play our Episode Roulette game!

(Rei has been given a roulette wheel, each section has a topic of conversation, whichever she lands on she has to answer)

A Joke That Went Wrong

Episode 1：

Alright so, this is something that happened to me today. Earlier today I went to the quick-change-station* backstage to pick up some hair products for our photo shoot. But then suddenly, our flower troupe musumeyaku from the 100th class* (Oto Kurisu, Hoshikaze Madoka and Itotsuki Yukiha) popped out of nowhere wearing Japanese biker gang outfits!!! I think they had mistaken my footsteps for those of another classmate because they jumped out in sync pulling the same funny faces as if they had known I was coming! It was so hilarious I couldn’t stop myself from laughing at them! (laughs)

*The "quick-change-station" is an area in the wings at the Takarazuka theatres where the actresses can change between scenes, it has dressing tables and any costumes/props needed for quick changes but it's not part of the actual dressing rooms. *100th class refers to the 100th class of actresses who graduated from the Takarazuka Music School, Takarazuka is based on hierarchy, not just hierarchy within the star system but also hierarchy based on years in the company, so what class people were in at TMS is quite significant, and actresses have a strong bond with those in their troupe who they were at TMS with. When Rei refers to “another classmate” she means another girl from the 100th class. Later on in this interview, Rei will refer to one of her own “classmates”, Rei’s class was the 95th class.

Something you've been thinking about

Episode 2:

My baby nephew has been on my mind a lot! I often get sent videos of him, he’s over a year old now and has started walking and saying things that sound like words, I can’t get over how fast he’s growing. There’s quite a lot of us in the flower troupe who have nieces and nephews around the same age, so I like to know how they are doing too. Even though I haven’t met them in person, because me and the other flower troupe members are always sharing videos with each other, I feel like I’m watching over them. You know how when you were little you would get those adults who would come up to you and say “Ahh look how big you’ve grown!”? Well, I’m pretty sure I’m becoming that person!

A Special (insert here)

Episode3:

When I’m performing, I like to try and use my eyes like a camera and take pictures of everyone's faces to save to my memory. Those of the flower troupe and those of the audience. There are lots of times when I see someone's lovely sparkling smiling face and I think “Ahhh I wish I could share this with someone”. So, I want to create my own “Special SSS Seat View!”* Like, you know how when you go to theme parks you can buy photos of yourselves on the rides? It could be like that, after seeing a show you could go to Quatre Reves* and get the photos straight from my brain.

*In Japanese theatres, seats are divided by B, A, S, and sometimes SS seats too. In the Takarazuka theatres the SS seats are the middle block of the first floor at the front, so what Rei means here is that what she sees standing on stage is an even closer view than that, therefore her view would be called SSS. *Quatre Reves is the Takarazuka merchandise store, you can find them at the theatre as well as in major cities across Japan and online!

Praise someone!

Episode 4

I want to praise everyone on this earth! I think none of us expected this fight (covid) to go on for so long, but even without an end in sight, we have all carried on, one day at a time. There are probably people out there who feel a loss in confidence, and aren’t able to fight on…So I feel like we and the audience are like “comrades” living through this era of great change together.

There is a lot of pain right now but the fact that everyone keeps going and doing there best is amazing!

Part 2: Card Game

(Rei has been given 2 decks of cards with words written on the back, deck 1 has an adjective, deck 2 has a type of person. She must take one from each deck, name a person that relates and give us an anecdote about them.)

Deck 1: Cute, Passionate, Must-See, Respected, Bizarre

Deck 2: Upperclassmen, Underclassman, Teacher, Classmate, Flower Troupe Member

Passionate Underclassman*

The “Fashionable Empire” Rockettes

When I was watching the rehearsals for the Rockette number I found myself thinking “wow they really are the picture of youth!”. They are all just so energetic and have a high awareness of the space and each other, you can tell they are thinking about how to make the dance the most effective, they are such promising underclassmen. It was a Rockette dance delivered with so much confidence!

*Underclassmen generally refer to actresses who have been in the company 7 years or less.

(Fashionable Empire, 2022) Cute Classmate

Kizuki Yuuma

We were reunited for the first time in forever in the musical “Top Hat”, it was funny though because she’s a senka member now, so everyone was treating her incredibly politely which she seemed quite humbled by (laughs). On stage, she had an immense stage presence in her dandy-style costume, and her character had a high tolerance for people's behavior, but in the wings and in the rehearsal rooms she would bow more than anyone else! I found it very cute how she would suddenly get smaller and smaller and smaller*. Her embarrassment was in huge contrast to how much she helped us throughout the show, in the way she would speak to the underclassmen and the wonderful insight she gave us into her thoughts on the performing arts. It was just so adorable to me, I remember thinking “You don’t have to make yourself so small!!” (laughs).

*In Japanese culture it's common to lower yourself when speaking in order to show respect for someone higher in age or status than you. So what Rei means here by Kizuki getting smaller and smaller is that she was probably bowing her head and bowing with her whole body so often to everyone that she was getting smaller and smaller, which is quite a funny image when you consider how she usually towers above every other actress. Kizuki recently transferred from the Moon Troupe to Senka (a troupe made up of superior members who guest star in different troupes) so there's no need for her to be lowering herself when she is actually higher ranked than everyone else, but she's not quite used to all the politeness and respectful language the actresses are giving to her yet, so she still feels a little embarrassed and finds herself doing it back to them.

(Top Hat, 2022) (from left to right: Minami Maito, Kizuki Yuuma, Yuzuka Rei) Must-See Flower Troupe Member

Mikaze Maira

She's been Kumicho (Troupe Leader) * for half a year now and she looks after us all by giving us positive encouragement and strengthening the troupe morale. I think she makes it easy for us to all unite and move towards the same goal together by guiding us, not only in the arts but in our emotions as well. Please pay attention to our Kumicho who is full of charm and positivity! *The Kumicho (Troupe Leader) is the oldest member of the troupe, it is her duty to support the troupe and basically make sure everyone is okay, she is usually the first port of call when an actress is struggling with things like stage fright or other worries. Mikaze transferred to Flower Troupe from the Cosmos Troupe with current Flower Troupe Top Musumeyaku Hoshikaze Madoka in 2021, and took over from Takashou Mizuki as Kumicho in 2022

(The Fascination, 2022)

Part 3: Dice Game

(Rei has been given a white dice and a black dice, similar to the last game, whatever number she lands on has an assigned word, white dice adjectives, black dice nouns, the difference this time is whatever she gets she has to perform!)

White dice: 1. Cool 2. Sexy 3. Powerful 4. Flirty 5. Sweet 6. Dynamic

Black dice: 1. Face 2. Flying kiss 3. Wink 4. Pose 5. Back pose 6. Kabe-don

Part 4: Big wins at the Zucasino Question Corner

1. If you are already doing well would you place another bet? I think I usually stop myself when I start thinking about going all in on something. So rather than taking another big bet, I’m the type of person who quits while they are ahead.

2. Are you daring? Or cautious? Tenma Michiru once surprised me by saying “I used to think you were a cautious person, but actually you don’t care at all!”, her idea of the difference between daring and cautious people sounded quite black and white to me. It’s true though that I do just go for it when making decisions. For example, after deciding to move house I moved the next week, and the time between me discovering Takarazuka and enrolling at the Music School was very short. Timing and chance of course had a lot to do with it, but I do think that when it comes down to those life-changing decisions I get this feeling of intuition to just go with my gut, maybe that's when I become daring.

3. How do you spend big money? For the last 3 years, we haven’t been able to do any trips or go out for any meals together as a troupe, so I’d like to hold a big event where the current troupe members and those who have left the troupe from 2020 onwards all go on a gorgeous trip to Hawaii together! There are so many places I want to go explore so maybe it could be a 3-4 day long trip where we can do our own thing, and then we could plan some kind of special event to do all together during our stay! The girls who have only been in Takarazuka for 1 to 3 years and those who have joined the flower troupe from other troupes like Hitoko-chan (Towaki Sea) have not experienced our dinner entertainment tradition yet, and many of the upperclassmen are itching to perform again so, I think we should put on a banquet and have a good time! Other things I’d like to spend big money on would be buying a holiday home for my parents and maybe starting my own business. Maybe something to do with children's education, something that mothers would appreciate….But I need to know how to spend money wisely first, time to study up!

4. Are you lucky? Or unlucky? I think I’m a lucky person, I’m very happy! Every now and again there are moments where I look at my life and think how happy I am that I am able to make art with the people I love. I may not be lucky enough to win in raffles or lotteries (laughs), but I’m overwhelmingly blessed to live a life surrounded by the many things that I love.

5. What is the luckiest moment you’ve experienced in your life? Entering Takarazuka was a big moment for me, both a lucky and a happy moment (laughs). Not only did I get to be a part of something I love but I met so many lovely people and learnt all sorts of things! Takarazuka has taught me so much, not just about the performing arts, but about being a person as well, I think if I hadn’t joined Takarazuka I would be completely different to who I am today.

6. A moment you’ve betted on In the early stages of joining the Takarazuka Music School you have to make the decision of whether to become an otokoyaku or a musumeyaku. But at the time I was still getting used to it all, I was kind of drowning, overwhelmed by everything, and so I completely forgot that I needed to decide…And before I knew it, we were all lined up about to make our decision! Everyone in turn saying “musumeyaku!” or “otokoyaku!” down the line! My height at the time meant that I was on the threshold between musumeyaku and otokoyaku, and so I was worrying and worrying like “Ahh which do I choose?!”. But then I heard the person before me say “Otokoyaku!” and in a spur of the moment decision I went “Yeah!” and said I wanted to be an otokoyaku. I guess you could say that was a bet? I wonder what would have happened if I had chosen to be a musumeyaku instead. I would have had to use completely different muscles, so my shoulders probably wouldn’t have broadened like they have now…Choosing to be an otokoyaku was a big turning point in my life.

7. A moment that was a close shave! The time when I was still a junior in the company and decided to climb Mt.Rokko by myself on my day off. It was a nice day despite it being winter, and so after enjoying the mountain to my heart's content I strolled back to the bus stop, only to discover the buses had already finished for the day! Looking around frantically I realised there was not a single soul to be seen, I was all alone, it was getting cold and windy and the sun was starting to set… After standing around in the cold for about 20 minutes, just as I started to worry for my life, a cyclist came speeding down the road towards me. But he passed by so fast there was nothing I could do to get his attention, but then he came back and gave me a ride to the cable car! I was one step away from ending up being a news story. I hope that man is doing well…

8. Something you want to protect with all your life The number one thing i want to protect is everyone's smiles. Maybe it's unrealistic to ask for, but I don’t want anyone's smiles to be clouded by anything, not those of the troupe, not those of the audience, or anyone I meet. Everyone is working so hard every day, the people who look after the company so that we are able to perform, the people who come to the theatre, the doctors and nurses who continue to fight to save lives, everyone, so their smiles must be protected. We are forced to endure a lot which can make our hearts feel heavy, but it's for that very reason that I want to be able to capture the smiles of the audience with my “Yuzuka Camera Lense”! No matter your birth, upbringing, age, or gender, people from all walks of life come to the theatre, lose themselves in the story being told and laugh and cry together in that shared space. How amazing is that? I’m so grateful to get to have that experience and so I want to continue to protect it.

Part 5: My Treasure

Illustrations from manga artists I have been fortunate enough to get to be a part of several plays based on famous manga, and have been gifted original illustrations from their creators. Yamato Waki who made “Haikara-san: Here Comes Miss Modern”, Hagio Moto who made “The Poe Clan” and Kamio Yoko who made “Hana Yori Dango/Boys Over Flowers” . Even now whenever I look at the pictures they drew for me I have a deep feeling of amazement of just how great their work is.

My beloved dog, Noir He’s so intelligent that it’s like he’s a human trapped inside a dogs body and at any moment he’s going to start talking to me. He is in tune to so many things and keeps at juuuust the right distance from me, all traits that would make me want to marry him if I could, he’s so cute!

Letters I’ve received from flower troupe members There is a custom in Takarazuka where you give “Pre-Raku Cards”* to those who have looked after you during the performance. I’ve kept all the ones I have received so far. It just makes me so happy that in these letters the actresses get to share with me thoughts and feelings that they don’t normally get to say to me.

*Senshuuraku is japanese theatre speak for the final performance of a show, it is usually shortened to “Raku” by both fans and actors. “Pre-Raku Cards” or “Maeraku Cards” is a short hand for “Mae Senshuuraku cards” or “The night before closing night cards”. Celebratory messages from fans My album full of birthday cards, top star anniversary messages and other milestones is my number one most precious treasure. “No matter how far the distance may be, my heart will be your side…” This is a line from the song “An oath made on the wind” from “Haikara-san: Here Comes Miss Modern”. During the initial period of the pandemic, these words would often come to mind and they became a phrase which is now very close to my heart. The underclassmen who couldn’t perform the show quoted this line in a video they made during the theatre shutdown, it really cheered me up at that time.

Videos and photos from the flower troupe During the last performance cancellations, I was sent many videos of things like funny little updates, and people singing whilst playing the ukulele. Performance cancellations are so hard, but if we hadn’t of had them then these exchanges would never have happened..

Video title: “I will become the wind” Misora Maru Ukulele Version Picture: Flower Troupe Love Picture Caption: “Flower Troupe Love” Will never end!

Behind the Scenes!

Thank you for reading! For more Takarazuka translations click here

#takarazuka #takarazuka revue #yuzuka rei #translations #my translations #becca translates #theatre #japan #宝塚 #柚香光 #花組 #hanagumi #flower troupe

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luna-writes-stuff · 1 year

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Day 4: The Last Time, Gabriel

Song link

Fanfic, fem! muse!reader

Little fluff, little angst

Word count: 3034

Tw: Written before I watched the Calliope episode. Muses aren’t evil because I said so. Also, you are now Erato, yay! One (1) pjo reference, I couldn’t resist but it’s hidden very well! References to other Greek Tales.

Summary: When a case in Missouri begins to look an awful lot like a Greek god wreaking havoc, the Winchesters and their two angels have to find someone to help them research old scrolls. Turns out Gabriel knows a Muse. And unresolved feelings fall back into the play.

[This might be one of my new favorite tropes idc I’ll say it]

"Find myself at your door Just like all those times before I'm not sure how I got there All roads, they lead me here."

The four of them had no idea how they ended up here in the first place. Or at least three of them. When a hunt reveals more than it had appeared to let on at first sight, it urged Gabriel - though much to the persistence of Cas - to show up on a doorstep he hadn’t stood in front of in a long time. He hadn’t even expected your home to still stand here, let alone still be inhabited by you.

But here they stood, Gabriel’s hand hovering just in front of the door, before turning around on his heels, holding uncharacteristic hesitance in his face.

“We could always ask another one,”

“Well, she knows you, so tough luck.” Dean mumbled, earning an urging look from Sam.

Gabriel sighed deeply, his eyes trailing from the group to the door once more. He hadn’t even heard his brother approach until it was his fist that made contact with the door.

"I imagine you are home In your room, all alone And you open your eyes into mine And everything feels better."

A moment of silence hung in the air, and Castiel had almost taken the liberty of simply entering your home without further announcement, but it had appeared you were quicker. Before he could turn to Dean to tell him he would be leaving, the door opened, revealing a disheveled looking woman in the doorway; her pajamas hanging loosely from her body as her hair was kept untamed. Perhaps not a rare occurrence, seeing as it was just past midnight. And you were having a great power nap on the couch.

Your eyes first fell on Castiel, his face blank as ever, though a tiny part of relief seemed to flood his features.

“Castiel,” you greeted through a yawn, a hand coming into your vision. You turned your head to meet his eyes, a sliver of a smile growing on your face.

“Gabe.”

“Hey there, sweet cheeks.” He acknowledged, a smirk forming on his face, early anxiety slowly exiting his system.

The two men behind them did not escape your notice. You decided however, to let the two angels decide. They wouldn’t have showed up without reason to begin with.

Yet, before any of them could talk, one of the unknown men spoke up.

“You do not appear very,” he halted momentarily, trying to find the correct words, while simultaneously ignoring the warning looks both Castiel and Gabriel shot him. “Muse-ish.”

You squinted your eyes at him. Exhaustion be damned; mortals would never learn. “Greek divinities do not take kind on taunting words and insults, need I remind you.”

Another silence filled the cold midnight air, and you subconsciously shivered at the feeling, the cold wind hitting your bare feet.

Taking a step back, you opened the door wider, silently urging the four to step in. An offer they graciously accepted.

"And right before your eyes I'm breaking No past, no reasons why Just you and me."

After they had removed their coats and shoes, you had moved to the kitchen, already preparing tea for the visitors. The two men, which you learned to be Sam and Dean, sat on the chair connected to the kitchen island, watching your every move. Gabriel had familiarised himself with the black cat you had affectionately called ‘Halloween’, and whom he had happened to gift you a while back. Castiel was…well, Castiel. Sitting in a corner, observing everything quietly, but closely.

“Erato, we need-“ Sam started, but you interrupted him halfway, nearing with the burning kettle.

“I go by Y/N these days,” Questioning looks were received from both Winchesters, causing you to smile a little, pouring a cup for Sam and Gabriel, knowing Cas would not be interested, and Dean did not appear the tea-drinking type. “Erato becomes a bit old fashioned after thousands of years, do you not think?”

Sam only snickered briefly, grabbing his cup. “I suppose.”

“And I suppose you are here because of the ritualistic sacrifices occurring in Missouri?”

Gabriel hopped off the couch, already running to the top cupboards, grabbing the sugar pot from the pantry. You ignored his movements, only inching towards the left to give him access to his own cup. You almost missed the frown on Sam’s face, or the distrust on his brother’s.

“You know of that?”

“I am a muse,” you pointed out. “I know everything written about my family at any given time in history. It is in the job description.”

"This is the last time I'm asking you this Put my name at the top of your list."

“A plague, miracles, and lack of sunlight. It does sound like Phoebus Apollo.” You listed off from the top of your head, mindlessly handing Gabriel a teaspoon, as if it had been natural for the both of you. Perhaps, once, it had been.

“That is what we figured as well.” Sam answered.

“Yes, but that brings me to this next question; why visit a muse, if it is not the problem nor causation of one? Low education or mere ignorance?”

“Ignorance is bliss.” Dean finally spoke up.

“Ignorance is pointless.” Shutting his words down quickly, you brought the cup to your lips, giving the younger Winchester time to speak.

“We were hoping you would be able to tell us what was happening.”

“The muses haven’t intervened with the gods for a long time now. Not since Mount Olympus fell.” You informed, rolling your eyes at Gabriel, who was mocking Sam behind his back.

“Mount Olympus fell?” Dean wondered.

“Yes,” Castiel spoke up ultimately, making himself known in the room. “It moved to New York.”

“New York?”

“Empire State?” Gabriel filled in. “Keep up.”

"This is the last time I'm asking you why You break my heart in the blink of an eye."

Pulling a scroll of paper from his jacket, Sam handed it to you. Gently, you took it from him, your eyes scanning over the older symbols, a form of Greek you hadn’t read in centuries.

“Can you read it?”

Turning your head towards Gabriel, you raised your eyebrows, almost provoking him. “Can you not?”

“My Greek is not what it used to be.” He defended, walking up behind you, reading the scroll from over your shoulder.

“Getting old?” You mumbled, focusing on the words written in front of you.

“You wish.”

His voice was nearby, nearly sending shivers down your spine. It was no secret to any angel nor god about your past relations with Gabriel, but even after years apart, his mere presence could make you weak at the knees.

You’d never tell him, of course. He was smug enough already. There was no need to boost his self esteem.

"You find yourself at my door Just like all those times before You wear your best apology But I was there to watch you leave."

The two of you had met at the start of the Greek age, not even a hundred years after your creation. He had mistaken you for a mortal as first, and you decided to have your fun with it. But it wasn’t until you outlived your village, save for your eight sisters, that he ultimately realised you were indeed not of mankind.

Through the years, you’ve had a loving relationship. You took time off, just to crawl back to each other within a matter of decades. And though it seemed sickening to all around you, you had grown familiar with it. And you figured Gabriel had as well.

But after hotel Elysian you were unaware of what had happened to your beloved angel, and no one had come to contact you. The angels were not completely happy with the other deities, therefore you had figured they simply did not want to inform you of his loss.

And then, after a short decade, he simply showed up on your doorsteps with three others. No warnings or letters beforehand. You should have been mad, angry, perhaps even enraged. But you were none of the above.

You were relieved.

"And all the times I let you in Just for you to go again Disappear when you come back Everything is better."

“I am sorry,” you muttered, fatigue still laced in your eyes, your senses suddenly overwhelmed at his presence. “I need some sleep.”

“You need some sleep?” Dean repeated.

“Yes,” you empathised. “You mortals are aware of that term, correct?”

“Muses are called muses for a reason,” Cas stated bluntly, drawing the Winchesters’ attention. “They need to be in a good mood in order to function. Physically and mentally. Muses in other mythologies often die out by lack of inspiration.”

He then turned to you, nodding in agreement. “Sleep seems to be an adequate solution.”

You smiled in appreciation, downing the rest of your tea. “Even deities need sleep. How do you think Medusa was killed?”

Gabriel smirked, stepping even closer to you. So close, you could feel his breath fanning your neck. And just like that, you were grateful to have told the guys to wait. Would you have kept reading now, you would have short-circuited.

“Not to worry, sugar,” he began. “I will look over you. No Perseus will come barging in.”

“Oh, this will be great.” Dean mumbled.

"And right before your eyes I'm aching Run fast, nowhere to hide Just you and me."

“Guest room is at the end of the hall, last door on the left. It has two beds; fresh beddings should be in the closet there.” You muttered out, handing the scroll back to Sam, who stuffed it back in his coat pockets.

“Cas, tv volume does not go higher than five,” Ultimately, you turned to Gabriel, who had already started to follow you around as you instructed the group. “Gabe, no funny business.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.“ He smirked.

Raising your eyebrows at him, you gave him a pointed look. “You cannot lie to me.”

“No one can, sugar.”

“And don’t you forget it.”

Bidding your good nights to the group, you walked upstairs, letting another yawn escape your mouth. Gabriel, still behind you, snickered lightly open the sound, his eyes drifting to the cat that had followed you, and was mimicking your actions.

"This is the last time I'm asking you this Put my name at the top of your list."

When you finally reached your room, you quite literally threw your body onto the bed, exhaling deeply. You had no more energy to move, let alone bid Gabriel a good night’s rest, even though he was most likely going to sit beside the bed with a cat in his lap.

But it seemed none of that was necessary. The bed dipped beside you, a weight you had grown all too accustomed to, and you could not help but smile upon the notion.

A hand gently rested on your back, rubbing short circles, before it reached towards the sheets at the foot-end, dragging it over your body.

Unable to make a clear offer of gratitude, you uttered a “warm” followed by your body subconsciously getting adjusted underneath the blankets.

"This is the last time I'm asking you why You break my heart in the blink of an eye."

Though it was the first time you had seen him in nearly ten years, his scent seemed to work its way to your nose almost instantaneously. It was something too well known for you, yet something so nostalgic. And after him leaving without any words, it brought you some source of comfort. Simply to know he was still there.

And so, without thinking, your hand reached out from underneath the blankets, lazily - and rather clumsily - finding his, lacing your pinky with his.

No objection was heard nor recognised from him. If anything, it only seemed to calm the air around the both of you.

His pinky lightly squeezed yours before loosening its hold, though not enough to let go of you. No; his hand seemed to linger exactly where it was.

"This is the last time you tell me I've got it wrong This is the last time I say it's been you all along This is the last time I let you in my door This is the last time, I won't hurt you anymore."

A whisper suddenly filled the air; so silent, you were not sure if you had heard it correctly after all. But it was clearly him.

“You are my muse.”

Heat rose to your cheeks as your hand now covered his entirely, melting under the comfort of his touch and words. You had missed this, you had missed him. You always did, but now more than ever, that feeling seemed predominant. Sure, he had always been flirty towards you, and you loved to return it, but this was something different. It was in the way his voice carried his words, how his touch seemed less eager than usual.

He was almost weak under your hold. Not in a negative sense; in a vulnerable sense.

"This is the last time I'm asking you this Put my name at the top of your list This is the last time I'm asking you why You break my heart in the blink of an eye."

“Gabe,” you spoke up, rolling into your side in a lazy manner.

He hummed in acknowledgment, turning his hand under yours, he laced his fingers with yours, squeezing them in assurance.

“Will you leave again tomorrow?”

A heavy silence filled the air after that question. From what you had gathered, Cas seemed keen on staying with the Winchesters, or the hunters, so it would come as no surprise to you would Gabriel want the same.

But there was hesitation in his silence. Not the one where he was afraid to speak the truth, but the one where he truly could not tell what he was going to do.

“If I do,” he eventually decided. “What will become of us?”

"This is the last time I'm asking you this Put my name at the top of your list This is the last time I'm asking you why You break my heart in the blink of an eye."

“Today was the last day I’d ever want to see you on my doorstep.” You confided, now turning on your back so you could face him. “You could either stay with me for as long as we can manage, or you need to move on.”

His eyes drooped, staring into yours with an awful kind of remorse. No remorse for his unspoken words, but remorse for his already passed actions. For what he had done for you to tell him today was the last day.

Slowly, he let himself lay down on the bed beside you, his head connecting with your chest as he simply laid there, listening to your heartbeat. Something you were sure was beating as irretical as it always did when he was around you.

His arms wound around your waist, pulling you into his hold, as his legs folded over yours, leaving you covered with blankets still.

"This is the last time I'm asking you Last time I'm asking you Last time I'm asking you this."

“I belong with you.” He finally whispered. “Always have, always will. Regardless of what has come to pass, or what will come to pass, I will always run back to you.”

Unable to hide the joyous giggle, your free hand covered your intertwined ones. “You do not need to run back to me. Not if you stay here.”

Though you did no longer look at him - for your eyes were on the ceiling -, you could feel him staring at you. “You never asked me this before. Why now?”

"This is the last time I'm asking you Last time I'm asking you Last time I'm asking you this."

“I shall not lose you again.” You admitted, gently stroking his arm. “Not if I would have any say over it. Us muses are not only here for the arts, we can be fighters as well. I am a fighter.”

The angel huffed in amusement, leaning forward to press a kiss against the top of your head. “I am highly aware.”

And then, you turned your head, looking up at him, your face only removed inches from his. His breath was mingling with yours, his eyes nearly piercing through you. The grip he had on you had been tight, as if he was scared; terrified. The was something so vulnerable hidden behind his stance, and you could only wonder what had happened to him.

“I have no idea how this took me eons to say, but I am deeply, and immeasurably in love with you.” He uttered through a low breath.

And that was all it took for you to break.

"This is the last time I'm asking you Last time I'm asking you Last time I'm asking you this."

Untangling your hand from his, they connected to the back of his neck and the side of his cheek, pulling him closer as your lips finally met.

His hands hopelessly grabbed your waist, now pulling you flush against him, as if he would lose you otherwise. His kisses were needy, and demanding; more passionate than they had been before, but they had been so welcome.

Parting briefly, you murmured against his lips the very same words he had spoken to you seconds prior. He did not give you any time to come up with something after that, for his lips were on yours immediately after, asking for more. Desiring more.

But he was damaged, you could tell. And so, with one final kiss, you snuggled up against him, tucking your head under his, kissing the top of his chest, which was still covered in his shirt.

“Stay with me now, and forever.” You proposed once more, for the last time.

And finally, he yielded, refusing to let go of you. Refusing to leave your side.

"This is the last time I'm asking you Last time I'm asking you Last time I'm asking you this."

#november writings 2022 #Gabriel #supernatural #SPN #gabriel spn #richard speight jr #gabriel x reader

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watchingspnagain · 6 months

Text

Rewatching Sex and Violence

Welcome to “Mind the Rocks, Boys: A Supernatural Rewatch Blog” with Lor and Mace!

Up today, s4e14: Sex and Violence.

Men are killing their wives for what seems to be no good reason, and so the boys, of course, investigate. Turns out they’re on the hunt for a siren, which takes on the form its victim most desires. In the midst of the hunt, tensions between the brothers are simmering, mostly because Dean hates that Sam is doing whatever he’s doing with Ruby and lying to him about it. It doesn’t help that the Hot Doc they meet while on the case is totally into Sam and not Dean (this isn’t a situation Dean’s familiar or comfy with), and when Dean finds out Sam has boinked her in her office while he’s supposed to be working, Dean accuses HD of being the siren and goes off to solve the case on his own. Jokes on him, though, because the FBI agent he teams up with IS, in fact, the siren (oh, and should we talk about how it’s presenting as a dude for Dean?). Eventually FBI Siren infects both brothers and it honestly doesn’t take much stick-poking to get them right at each other’s throats. In fact, they come very close to killing each other when Bobby shows up just in time to gank the monster and save the day. #bestfosterdadever. The episode ends with Bobby leaving the boys with a slight stinkeye, and the boys shoving their real feelings under the rug, as per yoosh.

Below is a log of our real-time reactions as we watched. Remember that there may be spoilers for any part of SPN’s 15-season run here. Note also that the nature of our conversation is adult and thus it may contain adult language and themes.

[and we begin:]

Mace:

Cas you’re such a snitch

Lor:

LOL

Lor:

this is why you don't keep a meat tenderizer around

Mace:

or maybe just not marry a douche

Lor:

aw lookit ’im sleepin

Lor:

well sure

Lor:

Sam's wearing Wes's sweater!

Mace:

i think you mean honshooing

Mace:

YES

Lor:

LOL

Lor:

now, Dean

Lor:

let's not judge people by their names

Mace:

yeah

Mace:

so this guy’s a dick in several directions. got it.

Lor:

right?

Lor:

I mean, I know there's wacky shit happening, but still

Mace:

yep

Mace:

demons didn’t make him walk into that strip club

Lor:

NOPE

Lor:

"far as I know" LOL

Mace:

Lor:

look it him all in his lovely suit, all leaning forward all earnest

Mace:

yeah. she needs to back off though

Lor:

LOL

Lor:

she does

Lor:

I LOVE that everyone is either a Sam girl or a Dean girl [gender neutral]

Mace:

i mean, Sam in a suit will produce those levels

Lor:

YEP

Mace:

DEAN. WINCHESTER.

Lor:

lololol

Lor:

"I read"

Mace:

Lor:

or it could be whoever is using a Disney princess name

Mace:

(Sirens didn’t lure the men in with sex - they sang to them songs that told stories of the men being great heroes and THAT’s what the men couldn’t resist)

Mace:

Lor:

(oooo. that is so much more interesting)

Mace:

(yep. that’s usually the case with modern takes vs original tales)

Lor:

this is why you don't keep fire pokers around

Mace:

snork

Lor:

everyone would be fine if they just ridded themselves of these heavy blunt objects

Lor:

you glare at that phone, Dean, you glare at it

Mace:

sure sure

Mace:

Dean. Quit snooping

Lor:

he's so WORRIED. and so boundary hopping

Mace:

mrrrph

Mace:

dude. it sounds pretty straight forward

Lor:

right?

Lor:

the misdirection in this ep is awesome

Mace:

you mean the doc?

Lor:

yeah

Mace:

Ha! I feel like it’s pretty blunt, really

Lor:

oh well FINE, smarty pants

Lor:

I was totally fooled the first time

Lor:

heeee Bobby

Mace:

I mean, she’s clearly pulling all these boys in

Lor:

yeah

Mace:

Dean’s freckles are out of control

Lor:

you're supposed to have a one-night stand with him, Dean

Lor:

YAAAS

Mace:

well he knows stuff about Baby and loves her, so he’s halfway there

Lor:

YEP

Lor:

i don't get strip clubs? aren't you just getting all worked up with no way to do something about it?

Mace:

perfect for men who like to pretend to have big dicks

Lor:

LOL

Lor:

so what's the appeal? is it all performance? lookit me I'm at the strip club I'm such a man?

Lor:

wouldn't watching porn at home be more fun?

Lor:

confused in introvert ace

Mace:

maybe it’s like sex larping? they get to pretend for a bit that the women are actually into them?

Lor:

aaah yeah maybe

Mace:

my GOD Sammy looks good in this ep

Lor:

he DOES

Lor:

the undone collar and rolled up sleeves

Lor:

nice parallelism bt Sam and the doc hanging out and connecting with their work clothes a little after-hours rumpled and Dean and Nick doing the same thing

Mace:

yeah

Mace:

Sam. Come on. She’s gross.

Lor:

right?

Lor:

she's just annoying

Mace:

SUPER annoying

Mace:

because you just boned her, Sam

Lor:

yeah, that's not a hunch, Sam, that's an erection

Mace:

HAHAHAHA

Mace:

“what’s with you and banging monsters"

Mace:

HAHAHAHAHA

Lor:

LOL

Mace:

okay mister I Poked The Stupidest Angel

Lor:

LOLOLOLOLOL

Mace:

mmmm, toast

Lor:

"crazy on toast"

Lor:

LOLOLOLOL

Lor:

with some butter and cinnamon and sugar

Lor:

aw, Dean. he just wants someone to value him

Mace:

yep

Lor:

I VALUE YOU DEAN

Mace:

it’s stupid though that they’re playing it as if the siren is offering dudebro status. Come on.

Lor:

yeah, Dean doesn't want to be brothers with you, Nick

Lor:

RIGHT?!

Lor:

I mean, sure, part of why this works is bc Dean is feeling alienated from Sam, but he absolutely does not want Nick like a brother

Mace:

“and it wasn’t some bitch in a g-string” well, they at least got it half right

Lor:

YEP

Mace:

Lor:

ick

Mace:

oh really, Dean? you’re not hiding stuff?

Lor:

yeeeeah

Lor:

Sam! Stop underestimating Dean's intelligence

Lor:

neither of these two get pie

Mace:

Ha!

Lor:

dude playing Nick is 100% playing this like lovers not brothers

Mace:

and Bobby’s stronger and smarter than both of them

Lor:

YAAAAAS

Lor:

"you boys are drivin, ain't ya?"

Lor:

I LOVE Dad!Bobby

Mace:

YES

Lor:

Bobby. Knock their heads together

Mace:

Aw, Bobby. Good parenting

Lor:

YES

Lor:

"course, me too"

Lor:

you lying little dopes

Mace:

totally unintentional I’m sure, but I love that the siren caused them to tell each other truths they didn’t want to hear instead of lies they did

Lor:

YAAAAAS

#watchingspnagain #watchingspnagain 4x14 #supernatural #spn #spn 4x14 #spn meta #spn spoilers #watchingspnagain bi dean #watchingspnagain dean sleeping #watchingspnagain fraught

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random-of-random · 1 year

Text

Hold My Hand

Trigger warnings: Character death and mention of surgery and stabbing.

Word Count: 1,965

Author’s Note: This takes place during season 6, the episode where Lucy Knight dies. It’s inspired by the song “Hold My Hand” by Lady Gaga.

They weren’t even out of the parking lot when Robert Romano got a call on his cell phone. A clunky thing, he hated it. Hated it especially when he was about to have a night off with the woman he loved. He hated it even more now that someone was on other line telling him John Carter and Lucy Knight had been attacked by a patient. Both of them had been stabbed, it wasn’t looking good. Weeks, months, even years later he couldn’t remember exactly who had called him. Maybe a secretary, hell maybe Kerry Weaver. His adrenaline was already running high as he pulled back into his parking space.

“You have to come in with me.” He had told Emily Gorman. They had been dating for more than two years. He loved her. He loved her so much that he kept her hidden from the hospital. None of his colleagues needed to know about her. She was his. But this attacker was on the loose, no one knew where he was and Robert was not going to take his chances.

“Okay.” Emily didn’t hesitate. She climbed out of the car and was next to him as fast as she could be. Robert was complicated. On edge a lot, he certainly believed no one was going to fall in love with him. Then there she was. On a rare day off he had visited a museum and she was the curator. He was floored when she agreed to go out with him, even more when she loved him back. For Emily it was as easy as breathing. Yes, Robert had his prickly side, but the moments where he thought no one was looking - the moments he let himself be kind and calm - that was where she fell in love with him.

After work she had taken the L train to meet him as he was finishing at the hospital. She didn’t mind that he never introduced her to coworkers. Part of her suspected that he was worried she would see the infamous “Rocket” Romano personality she had heard of. She wasn’t ignorant of the fact that his co-workers had a certain disdain for him. She heard how he acted on occasion. Most prominently when Lucy Knight had shown up at their house at nearly midnight on Christmas Eve to ask him to perform a surgery only he was qualified for. When he talked back and down to her, the young woman didn’t blink - she called him out. He started to get ready to leave the second he closed their door. Apologizing to Emily with a soft kiss, she just smiled and told him good luck. Getting to see that side of Robert was a Christmas present unto itself.

They climbed into the elevator and up to the surgical floor.

“I have to change.” He said quickly. “There is a lounge or you could wait in my office if you wanted.”

“Robert, go help Lucy and Carter. I’ll be here.” She assured him and he allowed himself a moment where he didn’t care if he was at work as his lips found hers. In need of calming and assurance, which Emily was always willing to give. It would be the talk of the hospital by the next morning.

She had only been in Robert’s office once when she surprised him for lunch. He had hurried her quietly through the hallways and closed the door behind him.

“If I didn’t know any better, Robert, I would think you were ashamed of me.” She had joked.

Immediately his arms were around her. “It’s more I want to keep you to myself. The barbarians in this place don’t need to know my personal business.” He showed her off when they were at galas and the occasional parties. His mom absolutely adored her, but people like Peter Benton didn’t need to know he was kind to anyone. It would ruin his reputation.

She sat at his desk, lazily reading through some medical journal. Well, trying to read through a medical journal when he walked in late. It was clear he was exhausted.

“Hey.” She said standing. “How are Lucy and Carter?”

“Lucy is in post-op. Lizzie and I had to crack her chest. That bastard butchered her. Carter is still in surgery. They had trouble controlling the bleeding, but they were able to save his kidney.” Emily brought her hand to his cheek as he let out a sigh. He didn’t want to go home in case anyone needed him. Not to mention the mountain of paperwork and administrative meetings he was going to need to attend to deal with how a patient got a butcher knife and attacked two of his staff. The couch in his office was looking mighty comfortable and if he could have his arms around Emily as he slept - all the better. He was about to suggest it when his pager went off - 911 to post op.

“I have to go. I’m so-“

“Robert, don’t apologize. I’m here.”

“I love you.” He said quickly before he pecked her lips.

“I love you too.”

“Order some food. You should eat.” He called as he headed out the door. Emily did just that. She ordered his favorite food from his favorite late night spot. Being a surgeon, a highly respected one at that, Robert’s hours were all over the place. Emily had gotten to know what restaurants in Chicago stayed open late.

It wasn’t long until the food arrived and she set it out on his desk, pushing the medical journals to the side. Surgery could take hours, so she settled in slowly eating, but she was surprised when he came back quickly. Robert’s face was pale, his eyes cast toward the ground.

“Robert?” She was immediately in front of him, he didn’t even bother to close the door.

“Lucy threw a clot.” He said quietly. “We tried to get her into CT to remove it, but she threw more.” His voice was monotone, almost like he didn’t believe the words he was saying. “She didn’t make it.”

Emily threw her arms around him. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Robert respected Lucy. He couldn’t not respect Lucy. He told Emily that she was smart. Emily loved her gumption when she showed up on Christmas Eve. Now she was gone. Emily pulled back to look at the man she loved. His deep brown eyes looked lost, sad, and angry. “This wasn’t your fault, Robert.”

“I should have been better. I should have-“

“No.” She cut him off quickly. “I know you. I know how you work. You’re an incredible surgeon. Elizabeth, from what you’ve told me, is an incredible surgeon.”

“One of the best.” He said with a small nod.

“Then Lucy had the best.”

“I have to.. I need to go close her up. We had to open her chest again and I… She shouldn’t stay like that.” Emily nodded. “Will you come with me?” She grabbed his hand lightly and let him lead her through the halls of the surgical floor. She could tell there were whispers from nurses, other doctors, that Robert Romano was walking hand in hand with someone. Neither of them cared. Leading her into a room, Lucy was laying on a table. Her chest open and bloody, it was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.

Putting on a fresh pair of gloves, Robert grabbed some equipment and slowly began sewing her wounds.

“She would have made a hell of a doctor. A hell of a surgeon, really.”

“Coming from you, I know that’s a compliment.”

“Do I not compliment people enough?” He asked.

“Not from work, no.” Emily remarked. She stood next to him as he continued to work. Still wearing a light blue surgical gown over his dark blue scrubs, time seemed to tick by slowly. He was almost finished when a woman walked in. Wearing green scrubs, with a crutch in her right hand and short, deep red hair, her eyes were fixed on Lucy. Based on listening to Robert’s complaints and comments about work, she knew this had to be Kerry Weaver. Emily took a few steps back, letting the doctors have a moment together.

“I had to close her chest.” Robert explained simply. She stood on the opposite side of the table and grabbed a small pair of scissors, cutting the thread as he finished. “Thank you.” She began pulling the sheet over Lucy. “The nurses can do that.”

“I know.” She answered before her eyes fixed on Emily and then again on Robert.

“It doesn’t seem a good time for introductions, but this is Emily Gorman. Emily, this is Dr. Kerry Weaver.”

“Dr. Weaver.” Emily said with a small nod.

“It’s nice to meet you, Emily.” The woman answered back. Kerry didn’t know what to think. At first she wanted to be angry. Robert letting some random person into this room, but then she looked at him. Robert ‘Rocket’ Romano was not one to be rattled. If you had asked her 24 hours earlier, she would almost think Robert incapable of it. Now, he looked almost shell shocked. Kerry has suspected he had been seeing someone. Robert accused the ER of being a gossipy place, but the surgical floor wasn’t innocent of it. After the surgeons gala more than a year earlier there were talks of Robert dancing with a pretty brunette who he held to his side the rest of the night. This must be her, and he clearly needed her by his side now.

“You should go home, Robert.”

Robert shook his head. “There’s going to be meetings and calls.”

“I can handle it.” Kerry assured him. “Anything that needs your attention can wait until your next shift.” He nodded and took off his gloves. His hand finding Emily’s again.

“Have a good night, Kerry.” He said quietly.

“Goodnight, Dr. Weaver.” Emily added as they walked toward the door.

“Goodnight.” Kerry called after them. They returned to his office and Emily packed their food. He was silent as they walked to the parking lot. He didn’t even try to object to Emily driving them home. He was quiet as they unlocked the door and Emily put the food in the fridge. Gretel trotted up to him and he sat on the couch, allowing her to jump up and he softly scratched her neck and ears. When Emily came into the living room he was staring into the TV, which he hadn’t turned on.

“You should go to bed.” He said as she sat down next to him.

“I’m okay.”

“You have work in a few hours.”

“I’ll call out.” She saw his jaw slightly clench.

“You shouldn’t.”

“Yes, I should.”

“Damn it, Emily! Go to bed!” His outburst was even louder in the middle of the night. Emily saw it for what it was. Robert was very good at pushing people away. He perfected it, even. He didn’t like anyone seeing him vulnerable. It was much easier to get angry, to make people leave. Slowly she reached her hand toward his. As soon as their fingers touched he held on for dear life as he couldn’t stop the tears anymore. He leaned into her, his head on her shoulder.

“It’s okay.” She whispered before wrapping her free arm around him and he moved himself closer to her. It was like a dam breaking. His shoulders shook as he sobbed. How dare this happen? How dare Lucy die? It wasn’t fair. It was anything but fair. “I’m here.”

“Emily.” His voice was broken.

“Just hold on to me.” She urged. “Don’t let go.” It didn’t matter if he cried for a minute or for hours. She was there, she would always be there.

#robert romano #er fanfiction #Robert Romano x OFC #Robert Romano imagine

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sarah-dipitous · 7 months

Text

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 262

Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox

Another day, another night I fucked around to much to watch more than one show before going to bed

“Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox”

Plot Description: an assortment of hunters gather to commemorate a fallen brother, but Sam and Dean soon realize that a demon has come to kill them all

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: I don’t know. I don’t even understand when this is supposed to take place. I’m piecing together that it’s before Dean was born but the only thing they did to make Mary look younger is put her hair in braids. I swear there’s a whole other actress who plays young Mary, but….k, so it was about how Mary influenced this kid and he grew up to be a hunter and then died. Yeah. I wouldn’t become a hunter. That is not the life for me

Please let this be a running joke this season. PLEASE let Dean tell EVERYONE “oh, yeah. Just to catch up since the last time we saw each other? I killed Hitler” it WILL hit every time. Omg he’s so proud

(Ok I had to go back a few seconds because I couldn’t believe Sam said what he said to Jody. I’m now gathering that Dean HAS been telling everyone who knows them this so I’m not surprised when) Sam really just aired out his brother’s hentai habits to Jody. Dean’s very grateful that phone rang omg

Ohhhhh, Jody, you LIKED him. You liked Asa

(Weird question, are Cas and Crowley just…hanging around Cleveland still?? Are we gonna hear from them again??)

Here’s the thing. Here’s the thing. Here’s the thing. This guy who’s asking Sam about having been possessed by Lucifer is such obvious “this is the demon who’s here to kill everyone” bait, like it’s TOO obvious. But because this IS supernatural, it actually could be him

And then sometimes…you know, you could be wrong because a hunter just died and that guy was still in the room with everyone else. I did say he was TOO obvious

Oh, Mary’s here now!

Oh…the amount of parental troubles in this house has shot through the roof. Like, on so many fronts. Jody, who’s a bit of a surrogate mom to the boys (even though she’s not that much older than them. Yeah, the actress who plays her is only 9 years older than Jensen) has chastised Dean for not telling her Mary’s back but also is now thinking about if she had the chance to have her husband and son back…at her kind of boyfriend’s wake. Then there’s just the awkwardness between Mary and Dean. Not to mention Mary and Asa’s mom, who’s mad at Mary because she’s the reason Asa didn’t grow up to be an astronaut…but if Mary hadn’t saved him from that werewolf all those years ago, he wouldn’t have grown up at all. It’s not Mary’s fault she left an impression on this kid she saved. She had no idea

Fascinating that they’ll still say w****go but will refer to a First Nations girl as that (this episode takes place in Canada)

Oh, so EVERYBODY’s getting possessed tonight. This demon’s body hopping like there’s no tomorrow. Ah shit, they just killed off the obvious bait guy

Mmmmmmm, not trusting whoever got a hold of the angel blade…this is like watching Clue (1985) but way less funny

The thought to make a large devil’s trap for everyone to stand in is a good TEMPORARY idea, but it’s not a permanent solution unless you all plan to die there

THIS must have been a fun scene for Kim Rhodes. Any time someone gets to play a fun chaotic demon after being a no nonsense character….ooo, I just love that for them. She is just airing EVERYONE’S laundry here.

Wait…Asa’s friend killed him????? (It was an accident, but it’s the coverup that reallyyyyyy sucks about it)

Ohhhhhh nooooooooo, when Billie got Dean back in the house she said he’d owe her one………she meant Maryyyyyyy because Mary’s not supposed to be heeeeeere

Ok, she’s not going yet…but also…she’s not going with Sam and Dean yet either

#hellsite nostalgia tour 2023

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yunggoblin · 10 months

Text

And... ACTION! - Dean Winchester (18+)

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Summary: *This is based off of Season 5 Episode 8!* To pass Gabriel's next trick you, Sam and Dean have to shoot a porno.

Warnings: +18, Porn Flick, (YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED), Unprotected Sex, Porn, Filming, Cussing, MINORS DNI!

Word Count: 2,229

In just a blink of an eye you were at another studio set. You looked down to see that you were dressed in a two piece with little devil horns. “Looks hot, Y/N” You looked up to see your two hunting buddies, Sam and Dean on two stands, feet strapped in and a stick with a ball connected to it laying down. You looked around to see colorful lights, gaming music and the sound of an audience cheering. “Could you get us out of these?” Dean questioned making your attention go back towards the two brothers that were helpless.

You made your way towards the brothers only to have a man in a silver suit with a blue dress shirt under it walk out, fog came out of a smoke machine somewhere as he entered the room. “Ah, ah, ah. I wouldn’t do that.” He smiled with a hint of craze in it. You eyed Dean and slowly backed away from them and to the place you were at.

"Let’s just play along and get this over with.“ Sam suggested, but still looking around a bit alert. You stayed back and watched, but couldn’t help wondering why you weren’t strapped down and playing like the brothers. You were a little cheerleader on the sideline like the rest of the girls in the background.

"Let's play, Nut Cracker!” The host shouted, as he pumped his fist up in the air. The crowd cheered wildly, the Japanese man pulled out a card from his suit and started to read. You frowned as you knew the trick, he was speaking in his language.

"What? Are you serious?“ Sam asked, looking over towards his older brother. "Is he serious?” He questioned once more making sure he heard him correctly. “I’m sorry, but I don’t understand.” Sam frowned towards the game host.

"Sam, you have nine more seconds, just say something!“ Dean shouted out towards him.

"I don’t know what to say!” Sam threw his arms up, the younger brother that came up with ideas and out of situations was actually stumped for once.

The loud buzzer went off as the timer hit zero. The man spoke in his foreign language and glimpsed at the card. “Ruby.” He looked down. “I’m sorry, Sam Winchester.” He apologized.

"Sorry? Sorry for what?“ Sam questioned the smaller man, he looked over at Dean who just shrugged his shoulders. Your eyes darted down to the ball and just as it sprung up you shouted at Sam; "Nut Cracker!” You yelled hoping he’d get the hint of it. Sam groaned loudly as the red ball hit him in the junk at the same time of your warning. Dean covered his mouth as Sam squatted down, gripping himself from the pain. He sputtered and groaned, gripping the railing that had the red button on top.

"Dean Winchester.“ The gamer looked towards Dean as he pulled out the card. He asked Dean a different question but still in the same language. Dean swallowed thickly, eyeing the clock as it counted down its last minutes. As the timer left two, to one a different buzzer went off. Everything went silent as Dean was trying to collect his words together after hitting the red buzzer to answer.

You couldn’t believe that Dean spoke in the same language as the host did. You thought that he didn’t pronounce it right since the host gave him a curious look. The man in the silver suit looked at the card and smiled. "Dean Winchester is NutCracker Champion!” The host shouted out, making the crowd cheer and applaud.

Everything soon simmered down as there was a loud banging behind the blue doors. “Oh now what?” Dean questioned, soon everything felt like it was going to be fine as the angel of the lord walked in. “Cas?” Dean was surprised to see the trench coat angel.

Cas looked over at you and frowned slightly. “You guys have been missing for days.” He informed all three of them. Days? It didn’t even feel like days, just one long day really.

"Then get us the hell out of here.“ Sam begged out, still trying to collect himself. Just as Cas was about to touch the boys he was gone in a snap of a finger, as you opened your eyes you were in another studio. Sam was in a directors chair, behind a camera while Dean was dressed up in a work outfit for Pizza hut and you? Well you're dressed up in leather lingerie, tight around your body making your curves show and breasts pushed up in a snug position.

"This is art right here.” A voice said out loud. Everyone quickly looked over at the corner to see the trickster rolling his tongue over a cherry flavor lollipop, his whisky brown eyes landing on you, chuckling. “Sammy the director, Dean the pizza boy and Y/N the babysitter.” He smirked softly making you realize that the setting was familiar. It was the porno Castiel was watching with the babysitter and the pizza man.

"Y- You want us to do a porno?“ You asked, jaw almost dropping to the floor.

"That’s right, sweetheart!” He flashed a smile towards you, “Might get a woody if it’s that good.” He winked. “And action!” He shouted out and with a snap of his fingers he was gone.

"I am not doing this.“ Sam said, crossing his arms and sat down in the creaky directors chair.

"Oh come on Sammy, it’s the only way to go home.” Dean said, trying to talk his brother into doing it.

"Easy for you to say, you’re going to get laid.“ Sam spat. You sighed heavily, growing tired of the tricksters games.

"Let’s just do this, I want to go home.” You pouted, crossing your arms. Both Winchesters looked at you giving you a ‘What?’ Sam was a bit taken back where Dean was asking just to make sure he heard right. “I just want to go home. Dean get yourself ready because we’re going to put on a show.” You looked into the camera knowing the trickster was watching it live stream, somewhere in this matrix reality.

"N- Now?“ Dean choked out. "I need some foreplay before things like this, some candles, romantic music, some dirty talk.” He explained. You glared over at him knowing damn well it wasn’t true, he teased the girl that’s his foreplay and then just bent them over and took them.

"Shut up.“ You snapped, pushing him up against the wall and kissing him hard. His arms wrapped around your waist as your fingers raked through his spiked up hair.

"Guess we’re recording.” Sam mumbled, watching the action in the camera to see if it was at a good angle, it sure was. He was getting every small detail in the film.

Your grip tightened in Dean’s hair as he gripped your ass, you rolled your hips up against his making sure to please him. “How about that for foreplay?” You teased, kissing down his jaw line and to his neck, biting it a bit roughly and running your tongue over the mark.

"I guess I can work with it.” Dean chuckled deeply, soon cutting off with a moan as your teeth sunk into his skin. His eyes got darker, he pulled your body away from his. He turned you around making you bend over the bed, ass up. "Let’s see if you can handle it.” He growled deeply.

You cried out loudly as Dean’s hand slapped each ass cheek and soon squeezed the redness of your skin, massaging out the pain. “So sexy in this black lingerie.” He chuckled, his fingers gripping the hem of your laced panties and ripping them off. Deab flipped you over on your back and spread your legs to show the camera how wet he’s made you. “Hmm I must say Y/N, you’re very wet.” Dean chuckled, rubbing your wet lip with three fingers and slowly dipping them in your channel, swirling his fingers around, collecting all the wetness and pulled out leaving you panting and breathless. He put the three fingers in his mouth sucking off the juices. “Hmm, best taste I’ve ever had.” He licked his lips.

"Dean, please.“ You breathed out, it was hard to breathe in the tight lingerie but Dean also had you all hot and bothered, needing to be touched.

"Alright sweetheart.” Dean smirked, ripping off the black shirt with the small pizza hut logo on his chest, tossing the shirt somewhere in the room and discarding his black slacks, along with his shoes. He ripped off the lingerie and flipped you over on your stomach once more. He pulled you over the edge, feet planted on the floor and kicked your legs apart, making you feel more exposed than ever. Dean gripped his dark cock and guided it along your entrance, rubbing the head of his dick along your wet lips, sliding in but only to pull all the way out.

"Dean!“ You whimpered out as he pushed the head of his cock into your pussy but only to pull all the way out. "Please, Dean fuck me.” You begged. He pushed his cock against your pussy but not pushing in. You bucked your hips back trying to get him to enter inside of you fully.

"Tisk, tisk, tisk.“ Dean shamed, "Patience baby girl.” Dean did the whole teasing thing a few more minutes, a spank here, rub of the clit there and finally what felt like hours he slid his cock fully into you without warning. Your whole body felt pleasure all over the place, you tried your best to be held up by your jello-like arms, gripping the comforter that was laid out so nicely on the bed.

"Yes! Oh fuck yes, Dean!“ You cried out as he started to plow his cock into your cunt, over and over again. His big hands rested on your hips, your arms finally gave up, you rested your head on the pillows, hands gripping the head of the bed frame for support, tightening the grip when his cock hit your g-spot.

"Fuck, Y/N. You’re so tight.” His nails dug into your waist tighter as his hips snapped harder into you, his balls slapping up against your clit, making it echo throughout the room or set, the camera picking up every sound you two made. Your loud moans were muffled by the pillow but it seemed like he knew what you wanted with every cry. You looked over in the corner of your eye to see Sam rubbing himself and slowly stroking his cock to the sight in front of him.

"Fuck her harder Dean.” Sam called out, enjoying the show in front of him.

"What does it look like I’m doing?” Dean snapped towards his brother. “She’s a greedy little thing, huh?” His hand came down and connected your ass, quickly rubbing the red mark. You squeaked out a 'Yes’ as his cock was hitting every right spot in your cunt, sensitive angles you didn’t even know you had.

"I’m- I’m going to come.“ You cried out loudly, Dean wrapped his hand into your hair, wrapping it tightly around his wrists, making your head tilt back and back arch a bit.

"You gonna come princess?” Dean questioned out with a grunt. “Sammy, get the camera.” He demanded. Sam quickly took the camera off of the stand and went behind Dean, the perfect angle showing his cock pulling out and slamming into you, balls deep. The camera picked up Dean’s entering and leaving your tight cunt, the cream of your pussy collecting around the base of Dean’s cock. “Fuck, squeezing me so well!” Dean slammed his cock back inside your pussy.

"Yes, yes! Harder!“ You cried out loudly as his cock twitched into your tight cunt, your walls fluttering around his shaft making it harder for him to thrust. Dean moaned out loudly as you soon started coming all over his cock.

"Fuck, that’s a good girl.” Dean moaned you, pumping into him harder until his seeds were deep inside of you. Dean slowly pulled out of you and panted heavily. You got dressed into the pizza hut shirt while Dean slid on the boxes and pants he wore when they got here. Sam on the other hand was cleaning himself up from blowing a load. Once he got dressed they were in abandoned building.

"Well, I can tell you as fun as it was, it has to end sooner or later.“ The Trickster smirked widely, he held up a DVD. "I think this will be with me for a while.” He wiggled his brows and shoved it into his pocket.

"Whatever you pervert.“ Sam growled, "Let's go.” He demanded and walked out of the building making Dean and you follow behind the taller Winchester.

"So what was it like in Tv Land?“ Castiel's rough voice asked as he was beside the impala.

"Weird.” Sam muttered as he climbed into the passenger seat of the impala.

"Fan-freakin-tastic.“ Dean smirked as he passed Cas to get to the driver seat. Castiel’s blue eyes landed on you, making a blush rise upon your cheeks.

"I wouldn’t mind being put back.” You giggled as you got into the back of the Chevy, leaving a confused Castiel wondering what had happened.

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teacupfulofstarshine · 3 years

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how supernatural should have ended

DISCLAIMER: i have never seen supernatural. i will never watch supernatural because i have the horror tolerance of a wet breadcrumb. all that i know about this show and its finale i have gleaned via osmosis from tumblr, reposted tumblr posts, and my friend @barbarianbillyhargrove ranting about the terrible ending to me. ten bucks says it’s still better than the actual ending. here we go boys saddle up

after castiel’s confession to a wooden dean and subsequent drag down to super mega uber hell or wherever he went, sam yeets dean into the passenger seat and they go on a drive bc he knows his brother needs to Process what just happened. they drive around aimlessly for a while and stop in the middle of nowhere. maybe a nice field

sam: are you okay?

dean: . . . he really loved me, didn’t he sammy?

sam: i think he did yeah

dean: i didn’t know he could do that

sam: me either, man. shit’s weird.

dean: . . .

sam: dean?

dean: we have some work to do

the next few episodes look like typical monster-of-the-week shenanigans, except you keep getting glimpses of little side quests and shit, like dean and sam randomly acquiring and researching a ton of arcane magical nonsense and not mentioning what it’s for at all

the dawn of the final episode: dean and sam open a portal to super uber mega hell. sam stays on earth to defend the portal and keep it open while dean heads in to find castiel, break him out, and drag him towards the entrance. whatever deity is lording over castiel tries to stop them. dean shoots it point-blank in the face with a winchester handgun loaded with an extra deadly bullet. he takes out its eye and drags castiel out of hell (nice throwback to castiel saving dean at some point i believe).

in the process of saving castiel from super mega uber hell, he loses his grace/angelic nature. by the time dean and castiel make back to sam, castiel uses up the last of his grace to seal off the portal permanently.

dean: shit, cas, i - i’m sorry. you lost your grace, you - you lost it all.

castiel: dean, it’s okay.

dean: how is it okay?! we went through all this trouble to save you and we couldn’t even do it right! you lost everything!

castiel: not everything, dean

castiel steps forward and puts a hand on dean’s face. dean closes his eyes and subconsciously leans into the touch

castiel: i may be human now, but my mind - my heart - are still the same as they ever were. i still know you. i still -

dean cuts him off with a kiss. sam reins in his brotherly teasing in this moment. does he take a picture for blackmail purposes? of course

cut to a montage of cas, dean, and sam travelling around the country and fighting monsters. we see sam’s wife (more than a faceless blur!) and her children; we see sam as a lawyer; we see dean and cas’s wedding, we see them settling down in their old age to run a car repair shop.

dean is in bed. he is old. he does not look like he is wearing a spirit halloween costume. he closes his eyes. when he opens them, he is in a field. sam is standing there; it is implied that sam died first. sam and dean hug tightly. bobby (is that his name?) shows up and explains the new rules of heaven (which exist now apparently)

dean: wait, where’s -

the impala drives up from the distance. cas steps out of the driver’s seat.

castiel: this must be heaven, you’re letting me drive

sam: can you all not be gross for five fucking minutes

they get in the car with bobby and sam in the back. castiel manages to wrestle the keys from dean. bobby points them in the direction of the little house where sam’s family is waiting. they drive off into the sunset. carry on my wayward son plays over the credits

#starshinerambles #supernatural #spn #destiel #i have never seen this show and this is a better ending than what you poor ppl got #take this and know peace #starshinewrites #technically #the only supernatural post you will ever see me make

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backdraft-bimbo · 3 years

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The phone call: detailed

When I tell you I screamed, I really screamed. Immediately, I knew it couldn’t actually be Cas, the writers won’t bring him back until the last episode, so I assumed it would be Chuck or some other big bad in disguise. I was right. But what killed me more than seeing Cas’ name pop up on Dean’s phone was Dean’s reaction.

Right here, utter despair. Since the beginning of the episode, he’s been grieving Cas non-stop. I don’t have screen caps of the other Destiel scenes in 15x19 yet, but y’all... Dean was destroyed. I mean, you don’t have to watch the whole episode to be able to see how low Dean is: the regret, the sadness, the desperation.

When he sees Cas calling him, he’s confused, in disbelief. Dean doesn’t want to believe it, since he’s been tricked already when Chuck Thanos'd the dog he found. But his expression quickly shifts from confusion to alarm and heartache. Dean has been let down so many freaking times in this show, he just can’t catch a break. So putting his hope in that Cas is alive opens himself up to another heartbreak.

Even though Dean knows it could be a trick, hearing Cas’ voice for the first time after days of grieving him looks to be the point where he has to know. His lip almost quivers, like he’s mouthing something to himself. He stands up with a clear purpose, to get back to Cas. To tell him what he couldn’t.

And Dean literally sprints up the stairs to get to Cas. The moment Cas got taken by The Empty, Dean was definitely reciting what he could’ve said back to Cas. That’s his rush here; to finally have a chance to let Cas know how he feels. Even though it might be a trap.

Dean pauses with his hand on the door handle, in contrast to the speed he was going up the stairs. It’s clear he’s still in disbelief; hesitant. But undoubtedly, Dean wants to cling to the hope that it’s really Cas behind that door.

So yeah. Y’all saying this episode “ignored” Dean’s grief, you clearly didn’t watch the episode. More scenes to come soon.

#destiel #supernatural #15x19 #dean winchester #mine

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windsource · 3 years

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How Did The Car Get Here?

or: why the impala being in dean's heaven means it isn't really heaven

[content warnings: mention of the finale (15x20), though no screenshots are included because i can’t force myself to rewatch it]

okay so i'm finally cracking my knuckles and getting into a meta post after the finale, and it started because marlo and i watched scoobynatural the other month and of course that means some new revelations about the finale came to light, right? right (this is the grain of salt i'm throwing at you <3 it's gonna read like the fan fiction meta. that’s a warning)

you might be thinking, "ely, what the hell does scoobynatural have anything to do with the finale." and to that i say, surprisingly quite a lot

the basic premise of this episode is that sam, dean and cas are whisked away to a tv world (scooby doo) and have to save the people (characters—HEROES, hint hint) in it from a real-world ghost. it's revealed later that the ghost has been tied to a pocket knife that a real estate developer has been putting everywhere in order to scare shop owners into giving their stores to him. (wiki description that might’ve put it better than i could)

when sam and dean first arrive, almost immediately sam says, "how did the car get here?" but more importantly i’d like to ask: why is the car here?

so, let’s get into it.

[ID: A screenshot from “Scoobynatural” of the Impala at night. Sam and Dean stand to the left of the frame. It is captioned with Sam saying “How did the car get here?” / End ID.]

it feels like many of us, including dean himself in the finale, were surprised (read: offended) to see the Impala in heaven. what's the purpose? it's obviously inanimate, and though dean gives her a gender and a name, it doesn't make her "real," nor does it give her a soul, which seems like a heavenly prerequisite. so how—or why is the car there at all?

in scoobynatural, Baby is used simply as a means to get from one place to another (as vehicles do) UNTIL it becomes apparent that the ghost they're hunting is actually a ghost. then, the real purpose baby serves is to provide weapons and hunting materials in order to take down the big bad.

[ID: Two screenshots from “Scoobynatural.” In the first one, Velma is speaking and fixing her glasses, surrounded by the Scooby Gang. Scooby and Shaggy are on the left side of the frame, and Daphne and Fred are on the right. It’s night time. The caption reads, “We don’t have the proper tools or weapons.” The second screenshot depicts a cartoon version of Sam, with the caption, “That’s okay. We do.” / End ID.]

mind you, sam and (especially) dean weren't aware of why they'd been whisked into the tv in the first place, or that there was any "real" danger at all. dean was actually enjoying it a LOT, stuffing his face with much-too-tall sandwiches, hitting on daphne, and gaping at the mystery machine in awe. the Impala being there with them seemed insignificant (dean even says so)... until it isn’t, and her true purpose is revealed—

[ID: Two screenshots from “Scoobynatural.” The first one shows a shot from the perspective of inside the Impala’s trunk. Sam and Dean are surrounded by the Scooby Gang on either side of them, with Scooby, Shaggy, and Cas on the right side of the frame, and Velma, Daphne and Fred on the left. The caption describes the trunk unlocking. The second screenshot is of the contents in the trunk: several weapons like a wooden stake, various guns, an axe, a knife, and an arrow. / End ID.]

so, with the Impala appearing in the Scooby universe with all the equipment they could ever want...or need or...dream, doesn’t that remind you of what bobby says in 15x20? let’s see...

[ID: A screenshot of the 15x20 transcript. It’s a snippet from Bobby’s line, which reads, “You got everything you could ever want...or need or...dream. So, I guess the question is...what are you gonna do now, Dean?” / End ID.]

best of all, right after Bobby says this, Dean spots the Impala and decides to go for a drive:

[ID: A screenshot of the 15x20 transcript. It reads, “(Dean looks away from Bobby and sees the Impala, with the original KAZ 2Y5 license plate, parked on the road).” / End ID.]

let me rewind a bit to something i said earlier. “sam and (especially) dean weren't aware of why they'd been whisked into the tv in the first place, or that there was any "real" danger at all.” in my theory for 15x20, I think it’s actually quite a similar situation, in that they are fooled into thinking there is no real danger and that heaven is just...heaven. bobby is there, along with some (crappy) beer and dean’s parents are there, and— wait, doesn’t bobby hate john? and hang on...you’re telling me the beer in heaven is crappy? and hey, wasn’t jack acting a bit strange after becoming god? what was up with that?

a lot of things about the finale just...don’t add up. and the impala is there, even though Baby doesn’t have a soul and therefore could not be/manifest itself in heaven (just as she couldn’t actually be in scoobynatural because she wasn’t there when sam and dean got sucked into the tv). so we’re back to asking: why is the car here?

i’m going to just take a shot in the dark here and say that maybe it’s for the same reason that she was there in scoobynatural. to serve a purpose when they realize that there’s actually a big bad to be fought—that things aren’t exactly as they seem.

as to who the big bad is, take your pick!! it could be chuck!jack, or the Empty (it is still loud in there after all), it could even be a djinn dream. but throwing Baby into heaven for seemingly no reason other than to have dean drive her for like fifty years just seems ridiculous to me. she’s got weapons in her trunk, weapons that the heroes (good place to remind you that there is LITERALLY a s15 ep called The Heroes’ Journey) can use to their advantage.

there’s a lot that points to something being off about the finale. but personally, i think Baby might be our biggest clue.

kirk out.

#metas #my post #rambleoncas meta #FINALLY DROPPING THIS WAAAH #described #finale denial #spn 15x20 #creativecaviar #klinejack #chocolatecakecas #roc original #spnclownpals

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perlukafarinn · 3 years

Text

sequel to this fic (read it for context. or don’t, i’m not the boss of you). i blame @hermywolf for this.

Things were tense for a while.

Now, Dean knew why he was awkward. He’d offered himself up as Benny’s personal human juicebox and something in his fucked up, wires-crossed brain had gotten so turned on by the act, he’d been about point three seconds away from grinding on his friend like a sophomore at prom.

He wasn’t sure what to make of Benny or Cas acting so weird.

Benny, and there was no other way to put it, had gotten really touchy-feely. Dean hadn’t realized how rare a non-violent touch was in Purgatory until it wasn’t anymore, until Benny kept putting his hands on Dean’s body, on his back, his shoulder, even his knee as they sat by the fire pit at night. Every touch casual and yet rife with some meaning Dean couldn’t comprehend, and every single one leaving Dean yearning for more.

And then there was Cas. When he wasn’t hovering over Dean, constantly appearing between him and Benny, he was lingering somewhere behind them, sour-faced and glowering off into the distance.

So yeah, tense.

It was the first time Dean was actually thankful for the unending stream of monsters in Purgatory. The near constant combat didn’t leave much time to worry about anything else. Dean was almost convinced that they could get past this whole episode without mention, given enough time and distance and distraction by monsters.

Then Benny had to go and get hurt again.

It wasn’t life or death this time but it was close enough, a lucky swipe from a werewolf nearly tearing a hole open in Benny’s chest.

Cas got to him first again, heaving Benny to his feet and easily holding his weight when it turned out Benny’s legs couldn’t quite support him. Dean got there second, a few moments later, heart pounding as he surveyed the damage.

He met Cas’ eyes.

“Dean, no,” Cas said, catching on almost quicker than the idea had passed through Dean’s mind. “You don’t need to do this.”

“It’s not that big a deal,” Dean said, face growing warm for reasons he really didn’t wanna examine. “You’ll heal me after, right?”

Cas sighed. “You know I will.”

“He’s right, cher,” Benny spoke up. “Gimme an hour or two to heal, an’ I’ll be fine. You don’t gotta do this.”

Dean ignored him, stepping in close and pulling down his collar. “Shut up and let me help you.”

Benny laughed, low and strained. “If you insist...”

He leaned in and Dean closed his eyes in anticipation, one hand grasping Benny’s shoulder to steady himself. It wasn’t enough, the sudden pain of fangs sliding into flesh sending him stumbling against Benny until an arm wrapped around his waist, holding him still.

Heat stirred in Dean’s gut and he quickly tried to focus on the pain, on the unnatural pull of Benny’s mouth, on his knees still aching from the earlier fight.

It didn’t work. Somehow, the pain just threw the pleasure into sharper relief. It was all too much; Benny’s warmth against his side, his mouth hungry and insistent, his fingertips digging into Dean’s skin as he tried to pull him even impossibly closer.

Dean opened his eyes and oh, big mistake. Cas was right there, inches away, still holding Benny upright as he drank his fill of Dean’s blood, staring into Dean’s eyes with a look that might almost be mistaken for hunger.

Dean should have looked away but he couldn’t. He felt trapped, pinned down by the monster at his throat and the divine creature staring him down.

A pained gasp escaped Dean’s lips as Benny pulled away his fangs. He didn’t back off completely though, mouth remaining at Dean’s throat as he carefully licked up every drop of blood. Dean shivered, knowing he should be recoiling in disgust and not fighting off every instinct to lean in closer.

Finally, it was Cas who put an end to it, grabbing Benny by his hair and pulling him off. “Enough.”

Benny shot him an annoyed look over his shoulder. “Easy there, chief. Can’t a man enjoy a meal in peace?”

He wasn’t being serious, Dean knew. He was just trying to rile Cas up.

Did that make it more or less fucked up that hearing Benny refer to him as ‘a meal’ kind of turned him on?

“You are not a man,” Cas said, voice low and dangerous. “And Dean is not yours to consume with reckless abandon.”

Holy fuck.

Dean glanced between them as they now stared at each other, Cas all righteous anger, Benny stubborn as a mule. The moment stretched on, tension building, and as Dean was sure something was about to snap, Benny looked away.

“Son of a bitch,” he muttered, laughing breathlessly.

Dean shot him a curious look but he didn’t say anything else, letting go off Dean and backing away. Dean stumbled on unsteady legs but Cas was there in an instant, arm around his lower back and hand raised to cover the wound on his neck.

It was too much, too fast. Dean’s head was spinning, still trying to comprehend everything that had happened in the last few minutes and drawing a blank on any plausible explanation. He felt lightheaded too, the blood loss finally catching up with him, and as warmth poured from Cas’ hand, healing him, all he could think was

Have Cas’ hands always been that big?

The third time it happened, it wasn’t by any stretch of the imagination necessary.

Still, Benny had broken his leg. Even if it would only take a few hours to heal it would still slow them in the meantime. And even if he could still fight in this condition, why make an already difficult situation even worse when they had such an easy solution?

Cas didn’t protest this time. He took one look at Dean and sighed, sounding defeated. “If you must.”

Guilt stirred in Dean’s chest, strangely enough. “It’s easier for all of us this way, right?”

Cas didn’t look like he agreed. “Let me know when you need me to heal you.”

And he stormed off. Dean watched him go, the guilt growing stronger. Which was ridiculous, what the hell did he have to feel guilty about? Cas healed him without complaint after any other kind of injury. What made this so different?

Dean looked at Benny, who was sitting on the ground with his broken leg, watching the proceedings with an odd look on his face. His expression softened when he met Dean’s eyes.

“I hope you don’t feel obligated to do this,” he said. “You don’t owe me anything, you gotta know that.”

“I know.” Dean swallowed, feeling oddly vulnerable. “I just wanna - it’s not a big deal.”

He walked up to Benny, kneeling down on the ground next to him, straddling one thigh as he tried to find a comfortable position.

“You keep saying that,” Benny said.

He put his hand on Dean’s waist, steering him closer as if it were second nature.

“Cause it’s not.”

Benny hummed, eyes hooded, gaze unfocused and hungry as Dean leaned in. “It is to me.”

He bit down, lighting fast, saving Dean from coming up with a response. Dean didn’t bother to silence his whimper or to resist the urge to sit down on Benny’s lap fully, drinking in the touch of him as Benny drank his life’s blood in slow, deep pulls.

He didn’t take much this time, barely giving Dean time to get used to the pain before he was pulling his fangs out again, laving his tongue over the wound to soothe the sting of their exit.

“This isn’t a one-way street, you know,” Benny muttered, lips still pressed against Dean’s neck. His tongue darted out again, licking up a stray drop of blood. “I’m sure there’s something you want I could give in return.”

And Dean didn’t doubt for one second just what he was implying. It was hard to, really, with Benny’s dick growing hard against his ass, feeling impossibly hot even through the layers separating them.

It was tempting. No one had touched him that way in far too long and Benny was willing, more than. He wanted it as badly as Dean did and they were already half-way there, practically dry-humping on the cold, damp ground of Purgatory.

But… “Cas.”

Benny sighed. Pulled away and Dean missed the warmth as soon as it was gone. “Yeah, of course.”

“Sorry,” Dean said, not really knowing what he was apologizing for.

“Don’t be.” Benny looked up at him, a teasing glint entering his eye. “You know, he wouldn’t have to be a problem. I wouldn’t mind him joining in on the fun.”

A fuse blew in Dean’s brain. He shot to his feet, nearly stumbling over Benny in the process.

“That’s - I don’t -” Dean stuttered. “He wouldn’t!”

Benny gave him a meaningful look, though what meaning was completely lost on Dean, and got to his feet.

Instinctively, Dean held out his hand. Benny grabbed it, grasping it tight even as he got to his feet, steady as if he’d never gotten hurt at all. He leaned in and Dean didn’t even think, staying perfectly still as Benny kissed him.

He tasted like copper, blooming bitter on Dean’s tongue.

“Offer still stands,” Benny said, pulling away with a grin. “If you change your mind.”

Dean stared.

“Now go find your angel and get patched up.”

An order. Okay, Dean could follow that, even if his mind was becoming more of a jumbled mess by the minute. He walked away, going in the direction Cas had disappeared to and finding him a short distance away, standing in the middle of a clearing.

He looked up as Dean approached, opening his mouth to speak but whatever he had to say dying on his tongue. Dean stopped a few feet away, suddenly feeling wrong-footed and uncertain.

Cas closed the distance between them, slowly walking up to Dean, into his personal space and then closer still. He raised his hand but he didn’t reach for Dean’s neck, for the still-bleeding wound just below his jaw.

Instead, he softly cupped Dean’s face, placing his thumb on his lower lip. Dean froze, breath caught in his throat, heart beating wildly against the cage of his ribs like a frightened animal.

“Did he-” Cas started then stopped.

He dropped his hand. Dean followed it with his eyes, spotting the dark smear of blood on Cas’ thumb. Dean’s blood, left on his lips by Benny.

Oh.

“Be careful,” Cas said, finally placing a hand - his other hand - on Dean’s neck and healing Benny’s bite. “Behaving recklessly in Purgatory has too steep a price.”

The warning rankled something deep in Dean’s chest. He felt a sudden, overwhelming urge to disobey, to lean in and smear his blood on Cas’ lips like Benny had done to him.

He ignored it. Reckless or no, Dean wasn’t a complete idiot. He knew a rejection when he saw one.

#deancas #deanbenny #destiel #spn fanfic #blood drinking cw #team purgatory #purgatory #violence cw #perlukafarinn writes

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myhumanweakness · 3 years

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I don’t want to be a huge asshole, but...

There are a lot of people trying to find a modicum of positivity in the finale. It’s not about this Destiel-Bibro war that’s happened over the years, it’s not about Cas, it’s not about any of the superficial drama. This finale was the weirdest mixture of OOC and in character writing I have ever seen.

Things that are in character:

The brothers put each other first. They are each other’s safe place and stability. Up until the very end. Sam respected Dean’s wishes, stayed with him in his last moments, and let him go gracefully. Sam even went on and had a full life so Dean’s sacrifices weren’t in vain.

For Dean, Heaven wasn’t perfect without Sam there. And he had this huge sense of relief and happiness when Sam arrived.

Jack deconstructed the walls of Heaven so that it was a vast place where everyone could be together. They weren’t living out their “best memories” anymore. They were creating new memories eternally with each other. And Bobby recognizing that Jack is like Dean’s son by saying, “That boy of yours...”

Cas helped build the Heaven that he always dreamed of. Cas always had such a high standard for Heaven, and it always fell short. He helped Jack build a home that was warm and comforting and beautiful and open and loving and true. Everything Cas stood for.

Bobby, the man Dean adopted as his father, was there to share a beer with him (just like Dean shared with his dad in his childhood). And Bobby was happy and confirmed that Dean is in a Heaven he deserves.

Sam mourning Dean’s death for the rest of his life, but also living his life to honor Dean. Classic Sam.

Dean using his last moments to tell Sam how much he loves him and how proud he is. Sam deserved to hear that because we all know Sam looked at Dean as a parental figure.

Things that are OOC:

Sam not marrying Eileen. The show created this HUGE story arc around Sam and Eileen and their real love and connection. And then they shoot this finale and couldn’t even get an actress that looked like Eileen to stand it the blurry background. Like, I don’t care what you say, it’s NOT open to interpretation. Sam did not end up with Eileen. All of you people who are Sam stans, who say you want your character to be happy and live a full life should be livid. Sam ending up with Eileen wouldn’t have canceled out the fact that Dean was/is his number one person. Dean gave his blessing for Eileen, and he loved her and welcomed her into their lives because he knew Sam loved her and had a genuine connection with her. Having them together would not have ruined the ending in any way. Sam still could have ended up with Dean on that bridge.

That woman with the blonde/light brown hair is NOT Eileen. They couldn’t even get an actress with dark brown hair to keep hope alive that they ended up together. Absolutely awful.

Dean just accepting Cas’ death and not even talking about it, other than to say, “Yeah I think about em’ too.” I don’t care if you don’t believe in Destiel or that the love was reciprocated. Dean EXCLUSIVELY said multiple times that Cas is a member of their family and a brother to the boys. He said the words, “YOU”RE MY BEST FRIEND.” I’m not saying Dean should have scarified himself to go pull Cas out of the Empty (because we had 40 minutes to wrap up 15 years). But the fact that Dean was like: I’m gonna eat some pie and just not acknowledge any feelings or thoughts and act like nothing ever happened is SO OOC. If your best friend died tragically, you’d have something to say about it or act like you had something to say about it. And that’s not to say I wanted Dean to be miserable and hurting. I’m happy he got a dog and found some normalcy. But they lost SO many people, and he’s just walking around cool as a cucumber? When every other season/episode where they lost someone important to Dean he was a mess. And I’m not just talking about Cas- we all obviously know how Dean behaved when Cas died/was missing/Lucifer was controlling him. But even when Jo and Ellen died. Even when Mary died. Even when Bobby died. Even when John died. Even when Crowley died. Even when Jack died, Dean was shown hurting. Suddenly everything is cool and normal there’s no pain or anything? The fuck? A brief moment of acknowledgement. That’s all it needed.

I will never forgive the writers for ending Dean’s story that way. A rusty nail impaling him (probably in his pulmonary arteries/aorta based on the angle) on some random hunt after he finally exhaled the episode before and said, “We’re finally free.” He sacrificed his ENTIRE childhood and life for his brother and the world and so many other people, and he didn't even get to enjoy being a human on the Earth and living a life for more than a week. What! Dean was always a character filled with tragedy, and yeah, maybe he did have to die. You can make that argument. But like that?! AND. AND! Sam held a funeral for Dean and DIDN’T INVITE ANYONE! What!!! No one was there to toast to Dean and share their memories and give him the send-off he deserved. Sam just burned his body alone. Never. That would have NEVER happened. Sam loved Dean SO much and looked up to him and thought the world of him. Dean was his big brother who was fearless and strong and the best hunter on this Earth (and probably every other planet), and he didn’t celebrate his life in the end?

Cas not showing up in Heaven is absolutely insane. INSANE. It doesn’t matter what you think of their relationship, the show has proven that Cas is important to Dean (even if you think Cas is way at the bottom of the list, he’s on it!). Dean’s ideal retirement/endgame was him, Sam, and Cas on a beach, drinking cocktails, with hula girls. That was the future Dean wanted for him and his family. And you’re telling me that Cas helped Jack build the best version of Heaven possible, and the minute Dean Winchester arrived Cas wasn’t there to greet him. Even just to say “Hello, Dean.” Even call Dean’s phone and say, “Welcome home.” Cas would have been the one greeting Dean in Heaven, with Bobby. Requited or not, it’s canon that Cas is in love with Dean. You don’t just ignore the opportunity to see the person you’re in love with. And... and! Even if Cas didn’t greet Dean in Heaven immediately, he would have appeared in the Impala during the drive. He would have met the brothers on the bridge to welcome them both home. Cas loved Sam too. He would have been there. The three boys together again. Team Free Will!

I love Cas, and I know a lot of Cas stans feel buried and betrayed and hurt over the show doing a “is he there or isn’t he?” thing. And that is completely valid. I can’t even express to you how sorry I am that so many of us in the fandom are hurting. But I know this show. And this show has always made it clear that it was/is always about two brothers. Fine. But Dean Winchester, the most caring and loving human in the entire universe, deserved better. I am so sick to my stomach that Dean’s whole life was him convinced that there was only one way for his story to end and it was him dying tragically. For years he never let himself even entertain the thought of living a life because he 1) didn’t think he deserved that or was worth it 2) it just wasn’t in the cards. We watched Dean grow so much, SO MUCH, that we finally saw him talking about the future and having hope for the future. And yeah, maybe he wouldn’t get the future he talked about with the retirement on the beach, but he would have lived long enough to experience life outside of just “playing whack-a-mole” and being God’s favorite story and puppet. Dean didn’t even get to enjoy his freedom and humanity. They took a character that they purposefully pushed through so many stages of character development to attain hope and faith and self-worth and promise, and killed him.

What the fuck!

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darling-i-read-it · 3 years

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Capes

Homelander x reader

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: brief mention of starlight being assaulted by the deep

Author’s Note: hi yes i am mentally ill so this was written. I actually ended up liking it but I wanna do more off the rails homelander

edit: i wrote this on my birthday before i had a depressive episode so its my last ounce of sanity. is it even sanity? no.

Summary: the first time Starlight meets you and Homelander, the couple of the world

Genre: fluff

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director

(not my gif)

When Annie first met you and Homelander she was awestruck. These were people she had looked up to her whole life and here they were, her co-workers. She was determined to make her time in The Seven something she could enjoy. She wanted to change the world and the way she saw it, this was the best way to do it.

When she stepped into her first meeting she was so mad at the Deep she wasn’t even able to fully realize who she was in the presence of. But the second the meeting was over, you made sure she knew.

She had started to leave when you rushed up to her, an award winning smile on your face. You had the charm she had seen on TV. Just like you had walked right out of the screen .

“Hi Starlight! I just wanted to personally say hello and introduce myself. I’m Y/N,” you said.

“Although you should probably call her Morph in public. Nice to formally meet you Starlight,” Homelander said as he walked up behind you. Everyone else had dispersed the room.

“Morphs my supe name. I kind of don’t like it but it’s stuck,” you whispered.

“Morph like metamorph. I think it’s cool,” Starlight said. You nodded, a gracious smile still on your face. You were able to transform into anyone you wanted, adopting their powers as well.

“Thank you. I hope you have a good time here, no matter how rocky it may get,” you told her. You grabbed her hand and held it for a second longer than you should have. She didn’t immediately hate you but she had learned to be wary around The Seven now.

But still, she was awestruck. Morph and Homelander. Right there.The world's most prized couple.

“Thank you so much,” she said quickly. She nodded once at Homelanderand then she was gone.

Annie spent the rest of that week figuring out how best to go along with this job. She was doing her best to avoid the Deep and she had gotten herself into some hot water by fighting some guys in an alley.

She ran her hands through her hair and walked into the Vought building. You were standing in the hallway, flipping through a tablet with one of the employees.

“I like that one. Run it by John will you?” you said kindly. The employee paused, unable to give you the right answer. “I promise it’ll be okay. If you have any problems send him to me.” The employee nodded, still a little nervous but out of the room regardless. Your eyes drifted up and landed on her.

“Is that your street clothes?” you asked. She looked down at her outfit and nodded nervously.

“Yeah.”

“Looks nice. I never get to wear anything but this costume, it’s so ridiculous. In fact, I just sent that employee to see if I could get a new costume just for a change of speed.” She felt better with you around. You were nice to her and she couldn't quite read you. She didn’t know if that was a good thing.

“Do you wear it to bed?” she asked, teasingly. You laughed and even that sounded Godlike.

“No but no one gets to see me in my pajamas. Except Homelander,” you commented offhandedly. You gestured for her to follow you and she did because she had nothing else to do.

“And if it isn’t too forward...does he sleep in the cape?” she asked and you couldn’t tell if she was joking. You snorted.

“Honest? Sometimes. He’s like a kid,” you whispered. “But usually no, admittedly.” You walked into the meeting room, chairs and room empty. You sat on the table. “How has your time been here Starlight? Is there anything I can do?” You seemed to be genuine which intrigued her.

“I uh...it’s been a rough week but I feel like I’m settling in,” she admitted.

“Good! Good. Very good to hear. If you ever have any problems don’t hesitate to come to me,” you explained. She nodded and almost jumped when the door opened behind her.

“Do you really need a ca-” Homelander walked in and stopped at the sight of Annie. “Starlight! I didn’t know you were in here. What are you two getting up to?” His charming smile was back.

“Girl talk, you’re not invited,” you said, sliding off the table.

“Oh?” he said, eyebrows raised.

“Can I help you with something dear?”

“The cape. I like the rest of it but I think the capes a bit much, no?” You shared a look with Starlight and then looked back at him.

“You’re probably right. I’ll rework it a bit.”

Homelander looked between you and her and his smile flattered in genuinity a bit.

“Well I have something to run by you in private if you wouldn’t mind Starlight,” he said evenly. You gave a kind smile, accepting his offer for her to leave for her. She nodded, still getting used to having conversations with either of you.

“Course. Thanks for the chat,” she said. You smiled and gave her a nod.

“Anytime.” She left the door, walking quickly away from it soon after that.

When she was gone you got back up on the table and kicked your legs back and forth like a kid.

“Did you really dislike the cape?” you asked. His facade dropped a bit and he sat on the table beside you.

“Yes.”

“Damn.” You put your head on his shoulder. You were the only person he would let do that. You were the only person he had ever actually liked.

“What did you and Starlight talk about?” he asked, a little bit of bitterness in his voice. He was annoyed you had spent time alone with anyone but him, although he wouldn’t say it.

“Oh you know, girl stuff.” He looked over at you, gaze hard. You sighed. “I asked her if she was doing alright here. We complained about our outfits. Nothing of substance otherwise I would tell you.” He nodded stiffly like what you said hadn’t just called him down.

“Maybe you can have a cape. Just not that one.” You smiled and kicked your legs back and forth more, kicking the back of his leg a bit to annoy him. Instead he put his arm around you.

“Cool. Very cool.” He rolled his eyes but kissed your forehead anyway. You were silent for a moment. “Should I get a blue one or-”

“Don’t push it.”

“Not pushing it.”

#homelander x reader #homelander imagines #john homelander imagines #john homelander x reader #the boys imagines

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destieltaggedfic · 2 years

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Favourite Fics

Approximately 1 year and 1 month after I returned to reading destiel fics I have finally finished my way through the dean/cas tag on Ao3. Does this mean I have read 100k+ fics? Well no not exactly, with my filters on the tally is about 76k, plus even then I didn’t read every single fic because either something was in the tags that I didn’t want or that AU really wasn’t my wheelhouse, or maybe after reading 10 fics in a row about getting Cas back from the empty I just couldn’t do another one etc. So this is my list of favourite fics, some of them have been my faves since I was reading stuff 8 years ago and some of them are new. I’ve also added a little bit about why I love them.

Hands, From Which All Things Are Built – MajorEnglishEsquire Ao3

Set S8. With Cas on the run with the angel tablet, he one day reaches out to Dean via text message, over the next few weeks they exchange messages as they criss-cross the country separately, figuring out along the way how much they need each other.

Word Count: 15k No Sex

Goodbye Stranger was the first spn episode I ever watched so fics involving the events post and prior that episode have a special place in my heart. And this is just lovely.

Not Part of the Plan ‘verse – Annie D Ao3

AU. Castiel is in The Republic for an arranged marriage to help relations between 2 countries. On his last night of freedom before meeting his betrothed he goes out to lose his virginity in an act of rebellion. He meets Dean who offers to take care of him. Imagine the surprise the next day when meeting Sam Winchester his intended, that Cas already knows his brother! When Sam runs away, his parents offer Dean instead for the marriage. Once they are married, cue misunderstandings while getting to know each other all the while both of them insisting that its best to keep things impersonal. Despite that they fall in love, such a shame that both their countries are using their marriage for political intrigue to try and start a war…

Word Count: 338k Graphic Sexual Acts

I had read other fics by this author and loved them, but I only intended on reading the first story about the one night stand, but got sucked in, and now this is pretty much my favourite spn fic. It is so well written and the world building is fantastic, A lot of things go wrong between our couple in this story but at no point did I ever feel hopeless about it, even just thinking about this fic just makes me happy.

Balance And New Beginnings - Hekate1308 Ao3

Set S12. When he finds out that Sam as well as Mary are working for BMoL, Dean says goodbye and walks away, going to hunt with Cas. Together with Crowley they start to develop a new way of hunting, which is only targeting the supernatural creatures who are causing harm and protecting the benign ones from the BMoL’s genocidal plans.

Word Count: 54k No Sex

This is such a satisfying story. I have a special fondness for stories where Dean chooses to live his own life separate to Sam (this is not me being a Sam-hater it just feels healthy for Dean to let Sam be his own person) and the development through this is just wonderful and it’s a shame that cooperation between supernatural creatures and hunters wasn’t explored more in the actual show. The fact that it is brought up repeatedly that Dean looks happy and healthy because he is content in his new mission is just icing on the cake.

Hello, hope you’re listening – insufficientemotionalfunds Ao3

Set S8. Dean prays to Castiel during each of the episodes leading up to Goodbye Stranger. Each of the prayers is overheard by the significant OC of the episode although Dean doesn’t know he’s been overheard. Also has a follow-up fic post Goodbye Stranger Glad to be with you.

Word Count: 14k No Sex

Again another fic (or pair of fics) surrounding Goodbye Stranger. This is one of my favourite Destiel fics of all time. In season 8 Dean praying was regarded as a pretty big deal from the “I prayed to you every night” to the prayer we saw from the Bunker and this fic plays into that.

Our Bodies Possessed by Light - Obstinatrix Ao3

Set S7. After ingesting (and setting free) all the purgatory souls, Jimmy’s vessel is no longer strong enough to contain Cas. Sam agrees to be a temporary fix for the angel. This of course raises some complications with developing feelings between Dean & Cas. (The sex doesn’t happen while Sam is the vessel)

Word Count: 40k Graphic Sexual Acts

This is pretty much the ultimate Dean-loves-Cas-not-his-vessel fic. Sure they pick a really hard to time to have the “we want to be together” talk while Cas is bunking in Sam’s body, but as a fic that could easily verge into wincest areas it does really well to keep the squick to a minimum. Its also lovely that by the end Cas and Sam’s friendship is so solid.

Dating a Rock Star Series – Grimmlin Ao3

AU. Swiping through a dating app, religion professor Cas is surprised to see a profile for rock star Dean Winchester. Despite not being a fan he marks it and is surprised a few days later when Dean messages him and they start dating. At the time of posting, there is still more of this series coming.

Word Count: 114k Graphic Sexual Acts

I love Dean characterisations where he is openly affectionate, and this Dean is flat out adorable with how much he is into Cas right from the start. I was also delighted on my second read through when I paid attention to the song that Dean writes for Cas and realised it was Radio Company’s All Our Own which has now become a Destiel song to me.

#Destiel #fic recs #my faves

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shatteredatthealtarofwinchester · 3 years

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Umm, wait. It's more a 15x20 rant than an analysis. I'll call it... a ranalysis. 😏

I just saw J*reds last online panel again, where he called the finale "magical full circle storytelling". 15x20 is his "favourite episode ever" because he "is a fan of good storytelling". Uh-huh... Okay. So the following just was built on pure rage. This makes it more of a rant than an analysis. As usual. You guys know me.

Well. There are various possibilities here, Jared. Possibility A is, you are lying, what I do not believe. To lie that obvious you have to be a talented actor, which you are not. Possibility B is, you really think that way. You believe, the finale was "magical full circle storytelling" and you actually loved it, it was indeed your favourite episode. This again brings me to the only conclusion: You have no fucking idea about good storytelling, not even decent storytelling.

Lets look at every single ending, shall we?

Dean. We all know you think Deans death was a "success story." You think that Dean "ultimately gave his life for his number one on planet." I am sitting here, laughing in pain. First of all, let me say that Dean didn't died for Sam, Jared. He didn't took a bullet for Sam or sacrificed himself or whatsoever. He died in the most ridiculous accident I've ever seen. But lets go back to the very start.

Dean’s childhood was highly abusive. Dean was 4 years old when he saw his mother burning alive and learned that monsters are real. In that age he developed PTSD and stopped talking. Dean had a childhood with a father that was an alcoholic and physically and mentally abusive, who had believed that Dean had a “killer instinct". When Dean was about 6 years old, John forced him into a nurturing role for Sam. In the same age Dean was forced into the soldiers role as well when John taught him how to shoot and hunt. Dean had to obey orders without questioning. If he acted “out of line,” (aka something John didn’t like) John chewed him out or left them alone. Dean was trained to be Daddy’s blunt instrument. Dean gave up his own life to keep Sam safe, because he had no other choice. More than a brother Dean had to be a father and a mother to Sam. He suppressed everything, every psychological pain, every emotion, he just lived to protect Sam and to obey as Johns blunt soldier. Short: Dean gave up HIMSELF for Sam and John. Not because Dean wanted to, because he was forced into it! Dean hated himself, he was suicidal. He was convinced he isn’t worthy of anything, especially not being loved. Dean never had a life for his own, never had a choice, never had a chance, never had own original thoughts, never felt safe or loved. He was used to being left. He felt like he was nothing. Worthless. He was dead inside. Broken. You get what I mean, Jared? Since you own a mental health campaign, you should. And guess what Dean did? He kept fighting. Despite everything, he kept fighting. And his mindset slowly changed. He understood that his father was an abusive bastard, he unterstood that he was forced into a life he never wanted. He understood that he is more than that, that he is not like John. He changed. He opened up. He even wanted to retire. And now it gets interesting, because something happened that REALLY is the start of magical full circle storytelling. Something in Deans mind clicked while Cas' confession. His confession was fundamental to Dean to finally accept his own goodness and the value of his life and love, of his identity. It was the moment of breaking free of the structure that had controlled and corrupted him his entire life. It was the only way out of his abusive and traumatizing cage to experience something for his own the very first time. For the first time in his life he had a chance. A choice. The start of his very own life. Free will, baby! Well, no. Because exactly in that moment he stumbled into a nail and died. Do you even realize how dumb this is? Do you even realize what you did? Wait, it gets worse. Yeah, that's possible, even if you dont believe it. In heaven he goes right back to the life he has spent his whole journey learning to free himself from: Left only with the persons he had been forced, time and time again, to sacrifice his identity, goals, and soul for. None of the family, support, or love, nothing he has built or chosen for himself remains. This is not magical full circle storytelling, Jared. This is abysmal pointless butchering. This has NOTHING, not a single percent of magical or good storytelling! YOU call that magical? YOU call that a success? Seriously, what shit are you on? If it would've been full circle storytelling, there is not one single fucking possibility that Dean would've died in the end. I don't know whats going on in your twisted brain, but Deans death never was and never will be a success. To make it magical full circle storytelling, he MUST have been the one who survives and overcomes his trauma (and raise a certain someone from perdition.)

Sam. He's actually the one who kinda got the best ending, huh? I mean, it was fucking horrific, but it was the best if you compare it to the others. When Sam was young, he wanted a normal life far away from hunting, while the truth is, Sam always was more like John than Dean ever will be. Over time his mindset clearly changed. He even said: "When Dean came to get me at school, I told myself, one last job, you know, (...) it was always one more job and then I was gonna go back to law and to my life. I guess, I really understand now that THIS is my life. And I love it." Sam couldn't imagine a normal life anymore. He had the chances for that and he declined. He loved hunting. He loved working and making progress with the BMOL, he very much enjoyed being a MOL and even took the lead often. I can clearly picture Sam as the lead of a rebuilt version of the MOL, that would've made sense. What did Sam get? Right, the ending he didn't wanted anymore, but since we yeet every single development of every single character out of the window, Sam has to be Season 1 Sam again, BUT with a fancy party wig! And there he is! And what a happy life he lives, exactly what he wanted, woohoo! So much joy, so much fun! Oh look, there is BlurryWife™, who Jared made sure is not Eileen, because “Dean wouldn’t want Sam to be with Eileen”. But wait, didn't Dean wanted Sam to be with Eileen? Didn't Dean literally said: "If it was to work, Eileen, you know... She gets it, she gets us, she gets the life. You could do worse. And she could certainly do better, like SO much better. I'm happy for you, Sammy." Yeah, NO. This was just a writing AND acting AND producing mistake and had no matter at all. *cough* So... As you can see, magical storytelling strikes again. I can feel the magic, I can feel the full circle, it's... Amazing...

Castiel. Castiels story was magical, it was mindblowing. I've never in my entire life seen such a meaningful and deep storyline and I mean this. It's fucking massive. There is this blunt angel soldier, one of the post powerful forces, who was built to blindly obey, who lived for aeons of years, who wasn't supposed to feel anything, but he fell for a broken, suicidal, abused human who never felt loved or worthy the very moment he touched him. He fell so hard he rebelled against his own race, against his own family, against everything he had without any safety. He was the ONLY one in Chuck-knows-how-many universes who GREW outside of Chucks CONTROL! His love was so fucking massive, it couldn't be controlled by the God who built every-fucking-thing. Chuck built millions(?) of parallel universes, heaven, hell, life, death, purgatory, the empty, he created every single being, the light, darkness, every single angel, demon, leviathan, monster, animal, plant, sea, blade of grass, every centimeter of mountains, the four seasons, emotions, what the fuck ever. Everything you can ever think of, Chuck created it. And he controlled it. In every single one of his fucking millions of universes. But not Castiel.This is actually not possible. You can't outrun god. You can't outrun the one who creates, writes and controlles everything. But Cas did. Out of love. And not only that, you also imply that what happened between Dean and Cas was the only thing that was real. Everything else was corrupted, controlled, manipulated, written by Chuck. But what happened between Dean and Cas, he couldn't affect.

Seeing Cas standing there, crying, confessing his love to Dean actually even makes me think that Dean made Cas human. Dean completed Cas. Cas didn't simply said "I love you", he actually said "In all existing universes, in all millions, all aeons of years, you are my only happiness." And Cas completed Dean. He freed Dean. While Dean was used to being left, was used to feeling worthless and unlovable, Cas saw Dean exactly the way he is and chose to stay. With every obstacle, every difficulty he loved him even more and yes, freed him from the abusive structure that had controlled and corrupted him his entire life. Something that no one else could, not his parents, not Amara, not God, not even Sam. Beautiful, isn't it? Unique. Mindblowing. Pure. You enjoyed it? Let's fuck this up in 3...2...1...

Castiels story ended exactly the same way it started. A blunt angel who doesn't care about people and feelings, blindly carrying out instructions from a new God, obeying heaven. No progress. They threw away 12 years of character development and managed to give him the same stupid and senseless ending like they did with Dean. Dean died and Cas... Wasn't there?! WHAT!? There is no single fucking way Cas wouldn't save Dean or wouldn't be there when Dean enters heaven! There. Is. No. Fucking. Way! The way they represented Cas in the end doesn't only imply that Dean isn't important to Cas anymore, he even ended up exactly the same way as if Season 4-15 wouldn't have happened. The ending is exactly the same! He's with God in heaven, supporting him with instructions, not caring about anything else.

Okay, I got it. Summarizing you can say: Jareds "magical full circle storytelling" is to yeet 95% of the past 15 years. No other characters matter, the story itself doesn't matter, every single characters development doesn't matter, it even doesn't matter what the brothers really want, they don't get it anyway.

Okay. But that's not all. As if this wasn't bad enough, they didn't just butchered ... EVERYTHING, they also salted and burnt every single Mantra they ever stood for. I'll make these short, I promise!

Team Free Will. *snort* Dean couldn't escape his fate, he always believed he'll die on a hunt as Daddys blunt instrument and he did. He kept fighting to die exactly the way he felt he was "supposed to". Message? No matter how hard you keep fighting, no matter how long you'll keep it up, you can't escape your fate. Sam couldn't change his fate, he ended how he started. Cas couldn't change his fate, he ended how he started, same for Jack, he ended how he was supposed to. YEET THE FREE WILL, NONE OF THEM CAN CHANGE ANYTHING!

Family don't end with blood. The biggest lie that has ever been told. Do I even have to explain that? No need, right? Don't make me wanna throw up again, please. We all know that 15x20 blasted "Family don't end with blood" in millions of pieces.

Always keep fighting. THE AUDACITY to praise that while Dean is dying! After everything Dean has dealt with, It makes me wanna scream. Dean kept fighting, he always kept fighting, no matter how hard it was, no matter what forced him to his knees, he stood up again, and if he wasn't able to stand up, he crawled. He kept fighting no matter what, despite everything. His mindset changed. He wanted to live, he wanted to experience things, feelings and people differently or even for the first time. He changed. He wanted to retire, toes in the sand. He knew he earned it. Thats why he kept fighting. For what? To die the very first moment he had a free will. To die the very first moment he had a choice, had a life to build for himself. Always keep fighting, but the moment you come close to what you want, what you fought for, you die. It's been more than 3 months and I am having tears in my eyes while typing this. As for Dean, no matter how hard you fight, no matter how long you fight, you don't reach what you deserve anyway. Give up. As for Sam, AKF leeds to Emptiness. Grief. Psychological Trauma. Mental illness. Absolutely nothing worth fighting for.

I wanna go cry now, bye.

#jensen ackles #misha collins #j*red p*dalecki #spn #spnfandom #supernatural #spnfamily #dean winchester #castiel #destiel #deancas #dean #cas

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