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mayomorrison · 2 years

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moxfirefly · 3 years

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Good afternoon, this has been in the works for a while now and I finally got around to finishing it and being pretty content of it (this is gonna go up on AO3 soon along with the others that aren’t request) but I wanted to post it here first. Enjoy!

Rated Explicit (18+ only)

“Wish you were here right now

All of the things I'd do”

Gaming was always an escape.

From childhood to adulthood. There was some gaming equipment in your hands, controls, handhelds, keyboards and so on. There was just something calming about entering a fantasy world and immersing yourself in scenery and stories that made you stray from bad days and long nights.

For Donatello it was the same.

On one of his many supply scavenges Splinter had found a dumpster near a toy store that was going out of business. It was a memorable haul for them. What they expected to be routine things mixed with some type of groceries had turned into literal Christmas in July. Stuffed animals, board games, action figures and even a few gaming consoles with some cartridges and cd’s. Noticeably they were considered damaged or improperly manufactured, but they didn’t care and for Donnie he had spent a good week and a half fixing up the Nintendo and Play Station 2 consoles back into working conditions.

That alone had been plenty for him but nevertheless Mikey being so excited about playing wanted him to join him. They had played for hours and each disc or cartridge they tried out held a new story, a new set of controls to learn, new visuals and such. He was immediately hooked.

When he had gotten the first parts to start building a PC from scratch he knew there would be another world of possibilities for games.

Now gaming is a leisure for Donnie. Something he does for enjoyment and an escape when his projects become too much. The world of online gaming allowed him to also explore the possibilities of chatting with others though, the humans they were not allowed to see or speak to (with the exception of their Hogosha) but needless to say it wasn’t like Donnie broadcasted his identity and whereabouts. More so these people only came to game and speak game.

Donnie absolutely does detest the unnecessary sexism that gaming brings. Many a time he had read on chats or heard on his head set such derogatory comments thrown at female players. Never the one to stand such misogynistic behavior (he was raised better and had heard enough horror stories from April) he always shot that shit down quickly. Given his status as being far above his gaming peers he had developed respect and none of them ever shot back at him.

That’s how he runs into you.

On the opposing team nonetheless.

Once your female voice ran through the ears of the group he had been stuck in, the comments began to rain down. Some colorful, some lazy and some downright disgusting. Donnie had had enough and with some of his more illegal methods, had managed to push out the players in his party and send the audio recording to the email of the developers.

On exceptionally petty days he did far worse.

You had been stunned, wondering why the gang of immature boys had suddenly disappeared. Only one of them remained with the gamer tag specifying ‘Don_DuzMachines’ you couldn’t help but giggle at it.

You had asked if the sudden disappearance had been a weird glitch and if Don (as you assumed you should call him) had anything to do about it.

“Let’s just say I’ve got my ways” His soft voice rang through your headset.

“Well it’s hardly the first time I’ve had a gang of prepubescent boys tell me to suck their dicks” You started to move away in the map but stopped abruptly.

“Hey do you wanna play something else?” You asked tentatively. “Figured the least I can do is thank you” Donnie sat back pensively, well there was no harm in that now was there?

And so it started innocently.

Co-op games even the occasional match against one another. Each game you two always spoke through your headsets. Mostly banter about strategy or directions for who to do what or the occasional friendly jabs. You hadn’t revealed much that wasn’t the nickname you used as your gamer tag, and well Don had basically done the same.

That is until you decide to poke a little into his life. “You go to college?” You had asked, fingers gliding over the keyboard as you both partook in a raid. Donnie hadn’t expected such a question and he didn’t necessarily want to divulge much, he opted for a more ambiguous response. “I do my own studying, sort of like home schooling if you will?” Well he wasn’t wrong, Splinter had been both father and teacher to them, Donnie had just excelled more quickly and soon enough he was teaching his brothers on the academic side.

“You broke too, huh? Trust me it’s not worth the insane debt you’ll develop in six years that’ll take forty years to pay off” You chuckled with a hint of bitterness, Donnie couldn’t help but laugh and snort.

“That’s cute” You said sincerely. Donnie smiled, heat creeping up his neck.

How innocent things had been at the start.

For six months the two of you divulged little to no information. You never asked to video chat and Donnie never asked for your socials. It had just been a mutual agreement to keep the mystery that just wasn’t verbalized. Maybe it was for the better, because surely what had began as a gaming buddies situation had escalated to, well Donnie couldn’t really explain.

The first instance the two of you had been stuck on a map solving intricate puzzles. It was one of the more relaxed games the two of your partook in together when you didn’t want to deal with other players in a lobby.

“Dating apps are a nightmare, they’re only worth it for getting dumb funny stories” You had been playing but also checking some of the matches you’ve gotten on a site. Donnie swallowed, why did that settle so oddly in his stomach?

“Well any funny ones you’d like to share?” Don asked curiously hoping he wasn’t over stepping any boundaries. “One guy wanted me to cover my feet in marmalade, I really almost hit fuck it and did it” You couldn’t help but smile when Don choked, coughed and bursted out laughing.

“What kink is that even related to? I mean I know people enjoy feet but marmalade?” He was bewildered. “Come on Don don’t kink shame the poor guy, who are you to police his eclectic culinary desires?” Now the two of you couldn’t help but burst into another fit of laughter. Both your avatars were idle standing, the game somewhat abandoned in favor for the conversation.

“Hey I’m not kink shaming, we all have our weird kinks” Donnie smiled sitting back on his swivel chair. You clicked out of the dating site, chin resting on your hand. “Are we finally having this conversation? Cause I love this shit, it’s my bread and butter” You sat back in your gaming chair, tucking your knees.

Donnie felt so shy but the barrier of mistery the two of you had built urged him on. He was curious, like stupid curious what you looked like and while he had everything to figure out exactly where you were, it wasn’t morally correct for him. So why not just indulge in the conversation?

“Well it’s not feet, sorry to disappoint” He heard you laugh, an infectious sound he had grown to enjoy so much. “Feet are so passé anyways, what about bondage?” You spun slowly in your chair, the sounds of Don adjusting and clicking on the keyboard ringing in your ears.

“Bondage is a go, especially sensory deprivation” He was checking some documents April had forwarded to him in regards to a case they were dealing with, but he could multitask. You made an approving noise, nodding while taking a sip of your drink. “Into that D/s stuff?” You asked wanting to see what else he might like.

“Well yeah, but I do enjoy more um... Fem Dom stuff” He finished up the email he wrote out for April and hit send. “A man with taste, not something we get often” You chuckled but decided to add. “I wouldn’t mind having a guy submit to me” You bit the inside of your cheek a little shy suddenly.

Something about that statement made heat spread south for Donnie. The concept of being dominated? By a woman? He peaked a look behind him, pushing one side of his headset down to hear what his brothers might be up to but he heard only music and chatting voices.

“What’s your favorite thing?” He inquired almost too softly.

“Erotic ASMR” There was no trace of embarrassment in your voice and that somehow made Donnie hot.

“Maybe we frequent the same sites for that” Don boldly threw out. You made an approving face before sitting forward and typing on your keyboard. A beat or two later Donnie saw an email notification from you on one of his many burner emails. He opened it finding links to audios from various sites all catered to erotic audios. Donnie whistled, this was a gold mine and true to his predictions you did indeed have some of his favorite sites to peruse.

“It’s not just male audios by the way, there’s women too” You sat back once again, nervously playing with your hair. “Thanks... Well I do like hearing both” Donnie confessed, voice avoiding a stutter.

You grinned. Oh he was even more fun that you could’ve expected.

Curiously enough that had been the tamest experience into yours and Donnie’s sex talks. Because it hadn’t really stopped at that, they progressively escalated little by little. Fave kinks had turned to fave sites, fave sites had turned into fave videos. Donnie never pictured he’d share his hidden folder with a stranger no less.

You nor Donnie could really say how the two of you had ended up one late night, with yet another abandoned game, talking about weird but satisfying cyber sex experiences. Some of your stories had been on the more comical side but a few had riled Donnie up to the point that he couldn’t ignore it. There was a shift in your voice as well, an allure that enticed him.

“Can I be honest?” You licked your suddenly dry lips. Donnie tensed momentarily, not sure what to expect. “Of course, please” You squeezed your thighs together, ‘please’ shouldn’t sound so good coming out of his mouth. You trace lazy circles on your thighs, something pushed you. “I’m kinda turned on by this...by talking to you about all this stuff” Maybe this was overstepping it, surely there was nothing wrong between two adult friends discussing such matters.

There was no need to tell Don that you had yearned to put a face to the name. But his hesitance spoke of insecurities and you could understand that.

“I am too...” Donnie looked up at what he called a ceiling in his home, the darkness of the sewer system and concrete. He’d never have a chance with you, it was a deeply rooted desire for intimacy and if virtually he could obtain it then so be it.

For all your boldness you felt a wave of bashfulness hit, crashed around your self confidence. Then Donnie steps up and you feel your toes curl in excitement. “Do you want to have a better experience?” Donnie runs both hands down his face, who was he to provide better experiences, he’d never even physically had a partner. The slow sigh that escapes your throat is comforting static in his headset. “Yeah, yeah I really do actually” You feel a smile etch itself on your lips.

“You can call me Donnie” It’s the closest to his name, and truthfully he really wants to hear you say it.

“Y/N,” You say to which Donnie makes an approving noise, he finds your name to be pretty. He rolls it in his mouth, testing the syllables, he can envision moaning it, well he wants to moan it if he can be completely honest. He wants to put a face to that name but he quickly pushes the thought out. There’s a pregnant pause where neither of you engage or make the first attempt. Not wanting to let this mood flee, Donnie swallows and closes his eyes. The hum of the abandoned game grounding him.

“Say my name again” It’s not a forceful demand, all the contrary he wants to hear the pitch in your voice when you say it, he wants to picture how each tone would variate depending on what he would do or say. “Donnie...” You smile to yourself when you say it, a hint of desire nestled in it and Don notices that and wants more of it.

There’s a lengthy sigh from your behalf, hands wandering up your thighs towards your chest. “I’d like to be there right now, would like to say it against your lips” Your bold confessions makes Donnie’s pulse quicken. He runs a ghosting touch up his plastron, the vision of a delicate hand doing it. The imaginary weight of you on his lap grinding down on his hard member. Donnie grips himself through his shorts a soft groan escaping his parted lips.

“Want you to kiss me” He swallows dryly, the approving noise you make pushing him forward. “Feel your lips all over, feel your mouth around me...” He lifts his hips, hand cupping himself and the small hitch in your breath is a sound he wants permanently recorded in his brain.

“God are you big? I bet you are” You kneed your breast, thumb and forefinger pinching the sensitive nubs until they’re perked. Donnie smirks to himself, freeing his aching member and looking down at himself. Mutant genes aside he feels somewhat shamefully proud of his cock, he wonders if you would like it... deeply buried within you. “Yeah I am, I think you can take it something tells me” You catch that teasing tone and the urge to swallow him whole and make him see stars is too much.

Your hand finds its way into your underwear, the warm wetness making you moan as you tease your middle finger between the lips to find your sensitive nub there. You bite back another lengthy moan but recover enough to breathlessly say, “oh fuck, Donnie” and that very sound makes him shiver. Never did he think he’d hear something so temptingly good, said with such sincerity. God the things he would do to smell your arousal right now, to taste the wetness. “Push two fingers in slowly” Donnie almost pleas, his voice shakey, hand pumping his cock at a steady pace. You do as he wishes, your gutted moan making more precum gather at the tip of his member.

“God-shit- you sound so good, wish you were riding my big dick right now” He wants to chastise himself for saying something like that, but he can’t deny that statement shakes something in you. He can hear it, the sound of your fingers mixed with a continuously rising string of moans. “Ohmygod” Words tumble out strewn together by your pleasure. “Donnie please, please fuck me harder” That alone makes him sit up and push forwards, one hand on his desk as the other works himself up in upward twisting strokes.

Donnie can’t erase the idea of slamming into you right here on his desk, maybe bent over, maybe you’ll let him cum on your face...

He pushes the idea away, he can’t envision your face now, not right now, not when your moans have you sounding this deliciously in need. You’re plunging two fingers into your core as your free hand runs firm circles around your clit. “Christ Donnie you sound so good baby” You moan, perspiration covering your body and Donnie can only groan his approval.

There’s a few minutes where it’s just the two of you lost in your own pleasure together. The constant chants of ‘fuck’ and ‘god’ and ‘yes’ mixed between the two of you. “Say it... again” Donnie groans out, hand quickening, briefly gathering some saliva and letting it fall on his hard member for better traction. “Don-oh, Donnie cum in me!” You’re so far gone, not caring what comes out of your mouth. The wet sounds in your head set and a vibration you figured could be static mixed with his groans was all you heard.

Donnie’s hips twitch, feels that request swim inside of his brain and the image of burying himself as deeply as you could take is all he needs. Just as your moans rise in crescendo he feels the first twitch and relief of his orgasm overtake him. He’s never felt it hit him this hard it knocks the wind out of him, each rope shooting out onto his hand and floor. In his minds eye though, it’s your suffocating heat taking it, milking him until he’s a shivering mess. It plays perfectly like a movie, he swears he can even feel your lips at his neck and arms holding him tight.

Your sounds are enough to keep him stroking, the way your voice pitched up with the sound of his name entwined, forever recorded in his brain. Your entire body tensed to the point of uncomfortable but it was impossible to stop abruptly when he sounded so lost in you. Your leg shakes and stiffens and it takes every inch of control to not become liquid and slip away into comforting bliss.

Eventually the sounds of heavy breathing slowly but surely settling are the only things the two of you can hear in your ears. There’s a mess, for you and for him. The understanding of things transpired crossing each of you two’s brains. Should you speak first? Should he?

“Um, you with me?” You settle, skin sweaty and mouth dry. There’s movement on the other line, a quiet cuss here and there and you smile. “Yeah, sorry just... made a mess” His voice has that sheepish tone and you can’t help but chuckle.

“Great thing about being a girl, we can conceal the evidence better” You stretch your aching legs enjoying each joint pop. “The female anatomy never seizes to amaze me, trust me” Donnie leans back in his chair, napkin cleaning any other soiled spot.

The silence was somewhat comfortable, the buzzing of good chemicals slowly settling.

“Was this okay?” He asked, hesitant tone in your ears.

“More than okay if you ask me” You kept it light not wanting him to feel odd or even ashamed.

You ventured on slowly, forming the question in your brain and bouncing it back and forward with a swallow. “If, and I mean if you want to, we can maybe do this from time to time” You worried a thumbnail between your teeth. Donnie’s gaze watching the idle screen of the abandoned game, he thought hard but briefly.

“I... yeah I would” He smiles to himself, even if the nagging thought that this might not last clutches the back of his mind. Why ruin a good thing? This was good more than good and you suggested to continue.

He doesn’t want to preoccupy his brain with scenarios, or if that dreaded ‘let’s meet’ sentence decides to cross your lips. If this is the inch of intimacy he gets to have and it’s with you, who he has grown so fond of, then he’s selfishly taking that inch and guarding it with his life.

Mutely you both remain on the line, no words spoken from the agreement, just simply enjoying that the two of you were present.

Even if not physically.

#tmnt bayverse #tmnt donatello x female reader #donnie tmnt #donatello tmnt #tmnt donatello x reader #tmnt donnie x reader #tmnt donnie #tmnt donatello #donatello x reader #donnie x reader #Donatello #Donnie #ns*w #oneshot

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thelastviolin · 3 years

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Sometimes I stare at empty Word documents for hours. Sometimes I sit down and write 2k words.

Inspired by The Script’s “Never Seen Anything Quite Like You”

HotchReid- Tonight

Link to A03 above.

Aaron Hotchner is a consummate professional. He takes pride in his ability to lead his team and in his team themselves. He has heard the whispers about how attractive his team is and how it can’t be a coincidence. Especially after his divorce, rumors abounded that he had cheated on his wife with a team member. But anyone who actually knew Aaron knew he would never cheat on a partner- he is as loyal as they come. Even if he had been inclined to cheat, he would never cross that line with a co-worker. Rossi may have been able to subvert the FBI fraternization rules without consequence, but Aaron cared too much about his career.

As he stood in a shadowy corner at the annual FBI fundraising gala and heard yet another conversation about the attractiveness of the BAU females, he couldn’t help but smile. Because Aaron is a consummate professional, but he isn’t blind. He knows his team wouldn’t look out of place on the cover of a magazine. He had even had to step in to prevent the PR department from using images of JJ and Derek in their latest recruiting campaign, citing their occasional undercover work.

Yes, Aaron could understand the stir his teammates were causing tonight, all dressed in their very best and casually schmoozing with D.C.’s finest, though never letting each other far from their sites. Penelope’s infectious laugh was echoing around the room. JJ’s charisma had some of the most influential lobbyists gathered around her, hanging on to her every word. Derek was casually flirting with these same lobbyists’ wives at the bar, using his immeasurable charm to command the attention of almost every female in the room. Emily was being twirled around the dance floor by the counterterrorism section chief, expertly hiding her disdain for the political machinations of all those who tried to cut in for a chance to dance with an ambassador’s daughter. But what Aaron could not understand was the absolute lack of gossip regarding their resident genius.

Dr. Spencer Reid, who was currently speaking with the director of the FBI, gesticulating wildly and grinning proudly when his story elicited a laugh from his companion.

Spencer Reid, who was wearing a dark grey suit that must have been professionally tailored to fit him so well. Even in his formalwear, his signature style was still on display. While the majority of the men were wearing traditional black and white tuxedos, he had paired his suit with a lavender dress shirt and deep purple tie. He was also the only guest wearing Converse rather than dress shoes, the shock of purple fabric causing Aaron to smile into his drink when he had first arrived.

Spencer, who was the most beautiful man Aaron had ever seen.

He first noticed how shockingly beautiful the young agent was after the terrible events in Georgia. Aaron’s heart had raced as they rushed across the field to get to Spencer, who was kneeling over his captor’s dead body. As Aaron reached down to pull him to his feet, the flashlights highlighted Spencer’s cheekbones in a way that almost left Aaron breathless. And the moment that Spencer placed his hand on Aaron’s shoulder, expressive eyes shining with relief and gratitude, Aaron knew that Spencer Reid had just stolen a piece of his heart. Every team member had rushed to hug the agent, anxious to confirm for themselves that he had indeed survived the horrific ordeal. But Aaron couldn’t move, lost in the feeling of Spencer’s lithe body holding onto his for dear life.

But Spencer had struggled in the aftermath of his kidnapping and withdrawn from the team. Aaron’s marriage was crumbling around him and Gideon was becoming sullen and unreliable. He never had the chance to examine his feelings upon seeing Spencer alive, knowing that he had reached out to Aaron specifically, had trusted Aaron to understand his message. Aaron’s emotions had been spiraling out of control, as evidenced by his attempt to take on Chester Hardwick during the custodial interview gone awry. But once again, Spencer’s beauty had saved the day. His beautiful mind, his ability to spew facts at an overwhelming rate that often frustrated his teammates, had stepped up and saved Aaron from what would surely have been a brutal beating. When Aaron had apologized for antagonizing the serial killer and escalating the situation, he caught Spencer’s furrowed eyebrows in his peripheral vision. Never boasting, never censuring, Spencer had merely shrugged the apology off before staring out the window as they raced down the highway back home. Aaron struggled to keep his eyes on the road, so intrigued by Spencer’s relaxed profile and casual response to the situation. In his office after their return, he couldn’t focus on the report he was supposed to be writing, imagining the potential outcomes of the confrontation if Spencer hadn’t stepped up. When he heard Spencer describe the interview as ‘ultimately uneventful’, he couldn’t stop the smile that spread across his face, allowing him to pull himself from his morbid thoughts with a deep breath and return his attention to the task at hand.

The terror that gripped him upon hearing that Emily and Spencer had been taken hostage by a cult leader due to the incompetence of state officials caused his professional façade to slip as he bullied the attorney general off the site. Images of a beaten Spencer arose in his mind unbidden, threatening his ability to think clearly. Thankfully, Dave had handled the situation with grace, never questioning why Aaron seemed to be falling apart, and the sight of Spencer and Derek emerging from the burning ruins soothed the ache that had been growing within him. That Spencer had sought comfort in Emily’s arms rather than his own was of little consequence- just seeing that mess of hair, made worse by days of captivity and an explosion, reminded Aaron that there was still beauty in the world.

Years passed, and although Aaron was aware of his growing attraction to the young agent, it was never at the forefront of his mind, but merely a passing thought on occasion. Such as the case in which they searched for the Zodiak killer copycat. He hadn’t learned until later that Spencer had been questioning his position on the team and the best use of his intellect. Watching Spencer discredit the attention-seeking man conducting an impromptu press conference completely off the cuff had filled Aaron with pride, knowing that only a few years before Spencer would have never dared to challenge someone, especially in such a public manner. As they stood at the next crime scene, Aaron couldn’t help but be amazed at Spencer’s intellect and confidence. But what was even more awe-inspiring was the sight of Spencer, who was standing with his back to the mountains and the sun providing a halo around his silhouette. That damned purple scarf tucked around his neck and his coat cinched perfectly at his waist. And when he broke the case with his knowledge of obscure chess games, well, Aaron couldn’t be blamed for falling just a little harder. The smile on his face as the team celebrated his birthday after the resolution of the case was so innocent and so Spencer that Aaron had to force himself to stop at a handshake though the rest of the team was showering him in hugs, afraid that if he held the genius in his arms for just a moment he might never let go.

Seeing Spencer interact with Henry and Jack at JJ’s wedding was the final straw. In his tuxedo with a crooked bow tie, entertaining the boys with magic tricks, Spencer had never looked more beautiful to Aaron. His enthusiasm and zeal for life was like a balm for the soul- even the knowledge that Emily would soon be leaving the team couldn’t keep the half-smile off of Aaron’s face all night.

So yes, Aaron was a consummate professional, and although he was aware of the beauty within his team, he never acted on it. He kept his feelings to himself and kept himself on the periphery of the team when his feelings threatened to overwhelm him. He watched Derek tease Spencer about girls and dating and only felt the slightest twinges of jealousy (or so he told himself). He had even managed to keep the depth of his feelings hidden from Dave, his best friend and a seasoned profiler. Dave had dropped hints over the years, but Aaron took pride in his poker face and ability to sidestep Dave’s questioning.

But then Spencer showed up to the gala in that suit. Aaron knew for a fact that Spencer had never bothered to have a suit tailored, never caring enough about his appearance to justify the expense. And from the smirk that Dave was giving him from across the room, it wasn’t Spencer’s idea. Damn meddling profilers. For years, Aaron had been content to enjoy Spencer’s beauty from afar. But this…this was too much for any mortal man to bear, he decided. The stretch of the pants as Spencer leaned over the bar, showing a peek of a hot pink sock. The smile he shot Derek as his friend clapped him on his back, incidentally causing his suit jacket to tighten across his lean back as a blush bloomed down the back of his neck. Before he knew it, Aaron was halfway across the room, having downed the remainder of his watered-down drink. Almost a decade of friendship was potentially on the line, but Spencer had to know. Aaron had never seen anyone as beautiful, as handsome, as Spencer, as the young man before him now.

Spencer turned from the group of women Derek was attempting to introduce him to upon Aaron’s approach. His smile widened, and Aaron hoped that it wasn’t just because he found a reason to escape Derek’s matchmaking attempts. Aaron nodded towards a quiet corner near the exit where a small table had long since been abandoned in favor of the dance floor. Spencer smiled shyly as he ducked his head and made his excuses to Derek before allowing Aaron to guide him away with the subtle pressure of a hand on the small of his back. When they reached the exit, Spencer turned towards Aaron and cocked his head, confused as to why they had stepped away from the party but showing such trust in his eyes that Aaron had to take a deep breath. He had no words prepared and wasn’t sure that he could speak even if he had. Instead, he took a small step forward until their faces were merely inches apart. Spencer’s eyes widened but he didn’t step away. Hesitating, Aaron lifted his hand to cradle the side of Spencer’s face and almost sighed in relief when Spencer leaned into it and touched his lips to his palm.

“You’ve been staring at me all night.”

“I don’t understand how everyone else has kept their eyes off of you. You are…gorgeous, Spencer. And I know you understand that I don’t say that lightly.”

Spencer looked down at his feet. “At first, I thought I was projecting. You looked at me with such intensity I thought I would burn. But no one said anything, so I assumed it was just wishful thinking. Then Rossi offered to tailor this suit for me to wear tonight, and when I asked why, he just smirked and said he still owed you a birthday present. So I let myself hope that he knew something I didn’t.”

Aaron dipped his head forward so their foreheads were touching. “He can be a meddlesome ass, sometimes. But this may be the best present he has ever given me. God, Spencer, you don’t even know how long…”

“No. Not exactly. I could guess, but it’s not really important, is it? What matters is that you said something tonight. And if you can’t tell- Aaron, I have been gone on you for years. Possibly from the moment we met. Everyone that the team tried to set me up with, none of them compared to you. You set the bar impossibly high, you know.”

Aaron smiled. “I’m sorry it has taken me this long. I was trying to remain professional. But the way you look tonight…well, I’m about to prove to the entire room that I have very unprofessional feelings for you unless you stop me.”

Spencer looked up at Aaron through his eyelashes. “Why would I do that?”

Aaron’s hand slipped from Spencer’s cheek to the back of his neck as his other hand snaked around the younger man’s waist and pulled him impossibly closer into a searing kiss. As he felt Spencer respond, tugging at the lapels of his suit jacket, Aaron decided that he would be content to do this for the rest of his life. He had been a consummate professional for his entire career- he was due for a scandal. And where better to set tongues wagging than in front of the entire FBI? He smiled into the kiss before gently pulling away, grabbing Spencer’s hand and gesturing towards the exit. Spencer smiled back sweetly and followed him out before turning around and looking back at Dave, who lifted his glass in their direction with a smile.

#hotchreid #heid #lastviolin's writing #fanfiction #criminal minds fanfiction #hotchreid fanfiction #cant write an ending to save my life #might edit later #but probably not #love those boys

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calciferous-kelpie · 3 years

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Breaking Young Artists ft. Kirby

So I woke up today at 8AM (which is highly unlike me) with the extreme urge to write about my shitty experiences as a young creator online. I’ve never really talked about this with anyone before, at least not to the extent that I’m going to now. But yeah. Here we go. Yay.

Today we’re talking about the Kirby fandom, but it’s okay if you don’t know shit about Kirby because we’re actually talking about fandom gatekeeping more than anything.

Most of you probably didn’t know I was into the Kirby franchise at one point, and that’s completely intentional. I’ve put that part of my life far behind me, and let me tell you, I don’t look back on it with much fondness, despite the fact that I was in the fandom for years.

Here’s one of the many reasons why!

This is JP. My Kirby fan character from forbidden days no longer spoken of.

“Wait, so JP? Like… Jigglypuff?”

Yes.

“And this was your Kirby fan character?”

Yes.

“Oh.”

Yes.

My lack of creativity should be apparent to anyone who looks at this character. JP’s creation is lazy and self-indulgent. She is clearly the Pokemon Jigglypuff with some minor redesigns who was then shoved into the Kirby universe for no good reason.

When I first made her, I had no real intention of explaining why she was basically just Jigglypuff, but as I continued to develop her, I began to consider what it would be like to explain her appearance—to create a story where Pokemon and Kirby both existed together on, like, different planets in a vast universe. She was going to be half Jigglypuff and half… whateverthefuck you want to call Kirby’s species.

You can still find art of her buried deep in my DeviantArt gallery (as well as 21 chapters of a story I will never, ever complete), but I don’t talk about her anymore. And this is why.

It all happened back around 2010-2012, which meant I was about 12-14 at the time. This was back when DeviantArt was still the main hub for all artists (lmao) and tumblr was still kind of new on the scene. A cool new trend popping up in fandom spaces at this time was the creation of “your oc is terrible” tumblr blogs, which—as the term implies—existed simply to make fun of artists who had crappy characters. They would reupload artists’ works and laugh at how lame or unoriginal their designs were.

These people were trend-setters, making fun of cringe character designs before “cringe” was even a word used to describe them. And before you fall for the fun hipster wording here: no, this did not make them admirable. They were, in fact, assholes.

Some of these blogs liked to pretend they “poked fun” in the spirit of “constructive criticism” but very few of these people actually offered anything outside of insults. (Besides, even if their feedback had been constructive, none of these artists whose work they’d reuploaded had asked for this and probably should have just been left alone.)

You can probably see where I’m going with all of this. My art of JP was uploaded to a couple of these “crappy oc” blogs, and I was ridiculed for having dared to create a thing.

I discovered my art had been taken from my DeviantArt gallery and uploaded to tumblr (a site I didn’t even have an account on at the time) without my knowledge. My signature had been blocked out (to protect my privacy I guess??? lmfao) and my work had been openly mocked for the enjoyment of an audience. People complained about my shitty character, saying that she was literally just Jigglypuff dressed up to look like an OC. They rolled their eyes at her name and her appearance. And in no uncertain terms, I was deemed a bad artist and a bad member of fandom—a warning to other new artists of what to never be.

I wasn’t told any of this to my face, of course, which I guess was supposed to be a blessing. Rather, I had the lovely privilege of discovering that people were mocking me behind my back for their own satisfaction. It could have even been one of my friends who had brought my work up for mockery. I’ll never know.

But let me tell you, there’s not a lot that’s more discouraging than learning people are ridiculing you just out of earshot.

I wish I had had the foresight to take screenshots of the posts these people made. To document the insults and the way I was treated when I asked them to take my art down from their blog. Unfortunately, I don’t have that. I was young and ashamed and just wanted the experience to be over with. But you know what? The receipts don’t matter, anyway.

I don’t need to prove that I didn’t deserve that treatment.

Today, I acknowledge that my character was lame and kind of uncreative. But that certainly doesn’t mean that the people who made fun of me were in the right. I had never claimed to be a brilliant character creator—some great example of unique OCs and unparalleled storytelling. And hell, even if I had done that, it wouldn’t have given anyone the right to stomp on my imagination the way these people did. I was just a kid.

It’s 2021 now. I’m nearly 23 years old, and it’s been about a decade since this happened to me. I haven’t thought about this horrible event in detail for some time, but I need you to understand that even when I’m not actively thinking about this, my life as an artist is affected by it every day.

I’m still ashamed to share much of anything about my characters. I still worry constantly that I’m being cringey, self-indulgent, or a “bad artist.” Some days I manage to create with beautiful, reckless abandon, but then when the dreaming ends, I look back on what I’ve created and fuss, and worry, and doubt. (Ever wonder why you rarely see my work?)

I know the culture around OCs online has improved in a lot of ways since the 2010’s, but I still want to put this message out there. I want everyone to know why this sort of thing isn’t okay. I want my history to be documented so that maybe some new, excited artist doesn’t have to go through what I did.

TL;DR:

Never make fun of someone for having an uncreative or “cringey” character. It’s crappy to do to any artist of any age, but especially if you do this to a kid of all people—a young artist who is just learning the ropes and learning to be creative. This shit sticks with a person, and it can and will inhibit their ability to create amazing things in the future. If you put down an artist for being bad at design or being cringey, you are an awful person.

And to the people responsible for putting my dumbass little timmy’s-first-OC on tumblr blogs to be sneered at and mocked, I mean this will all my heart:

Fuck you! :)

#kirby #fan character #oc #fc #gatekeeping #fandom #fandom drama #fandom culture #criticism #hoshi no kaabii #kirby right back at ya #pokemon #jigglypuff #rant #long post #cal screeches #might have to edit this later idfk if it makes any sense

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ladyandherbooks · 4 years

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Aaravos the Unreliable Narrator: An examination of his bias in 1x01 and what we can learn from it

So a bit of background info about me, I have a Bachelor's Degree in Historical Inquiry and Practice. What that means is that I studied the writing and construction of historical documents in order to determine why this particular source was written, drawn or recorded the way it was. I have been trained to be critical of all historical texts, documents etc and to be aware of and locate the bias', omissions and prejudices, both deliberate and unintentional within each of these resources. This helps me to determine exactly why this resource exists and who its target audience is.

Because of this background I've found myself being continually drawn back to Aaravos' introduction in 1x01, what it tells us about Aaravos and what we can learn from it, especially when it comes to future seasons.

Firstly we must be aware and acknowledge that Aaravos will never be an unbiased narrator, because no one can be a truly unbiased narrator. Aaravos, like all of us has his own bias' and omissions that we need to be aware of when examining an analysing this introduction, not only to the show but to Aaravos himself. We should all keep in mind that he is isn't being 100% truthful in his retelling.

However, that does not mean that we shouldn't pay attention to this introduction, especially when it comes to the key details that he remembers. That is to say what or who he believes is important and therefore what we should pay attention to.

So I'm going to focus on 3 key scenes that we see during his introduction, 2 scenes from the Judgement of the Half Moon and 1 from shortly before Aaravos' downfall and imprisonment.

Scene 1

In this scene we can see Aaravos standing with 3 other elves, 2 Sunfire elves and 1 Moonshadow elf. The Sunfire elves are standing in front of Aaravos and the Moonshadow elf, one is holding the glowing Sun staff and the other is beginning to unsheathe his sword. The Moonshadow elf is holding a Moon sceptre containing a Moon stone at her side. Aaravos is covered in metal jewellery and his eyes are glowing pure white. Below them is an army of elves that appear to be made up of Sunfire, Skywing and presumably Moonshadow elves.

So what can we glean from this memory?

1) Aaravos and the other elves are leaders within elven society. He is well respected and trusted by his fellow elves.

2) The Sunfire elves are ready and willing to fight the humans and are about to begin not only their attack but also the battle. We can tell this because the Sunfire mage holding her staff in front of her, ready to attack and with the Sunfire warrior drawing his blade ready to attack.

3) The Moonshadow elf and Aaravos however appear to be less enthusiastic about the upcoming fight. They are standing behind the Sunfire elves, the Moonshadow elf, while holding what appears to be a powerful magical item, the Moon Sceptre has it pointing downwards and at her side. Aaravos, while appearing to have glowing white eyes indicating that he is about to cast a spell does not have glowing white hands which he has also chosen not to raise. Given the decisive actions of their Sunfire counterparts it seems an important difference to take note of.

4) Aaravos knows these 3 elves well and therefore they must be key players in the Judgement of the Half Moon.

Scene 2

This scene shows the humans being exiled to the western half of the continent. We see 3 Moonshadow elves, 2 on their mounts and 1 on foot pushing a human forward. We can also see 3 Sunfire elves standing guard, watching the humans leave, 1 Sunfire elf appears to be pushing a human. In the background we can see an arch, it's design clearly Moonshadow.

So what can we glean from this scene?

1) That the Moonshadow and Sunfire elves have been charged with escorting the humans to their new homes. We can also see that the Moonshadow elves appear to be the leaders of this mission.

2) That the humans are travelling through Moonshadow territory.

3) This time the Moonshadow elves are the more aggressive while the Sunfire elves are more passive. We can see this not only with the the Moonshadow elf in the foreground giving a human man a hard shove, forcing him to hurry up but when we see the elf on the Shadowpaw is carrying a bow in his hand.

Only 1 Sunfire elf appears to push a human. This is not only in the background but it also appears that the push or shove is much gentler than that of the Moonshadow elf in the background.

We can also see the heartbreak and devastation that the humans are feeling after they have bern uprooted from their homes.

This aggression from the Moonshadow elves is probably due to the fact that they are going to lose their not only their Nexus but also part of their own lands to the humans as each Nexus would have been built in their respective culture's territory.

4) The presence of the 2 mounts suggests that the Moonshadow elves may have long journey ahead of them and that they are possibly doing at least some of this journey on their own, without the help of the Sunfire elves. This could also suggest that this is somewhat of a handover of escorting duties. The Sunfire elved have escorted the humans from their territory and now it is the Moonshadow elves to do the same. Therefore the Moonshadow elves need their mounts to keep a proper eye on the humans and to ensure that none of them escape or cause other kinds of trouble.

Scene 3

In this third and final scene we come to a time not long before Aaravos' downfall and imprisonment.

Here we can see 6 elves standing on a rocky mountain/outcrop/cliff staring directly ahead with an army standing behind them. Of the 6 elves we see 3 are Sunfires, 2 are Moonshadows and 1 is a Skywing. One of the Sunfire elves is Queen Aditi and she is flanked by 1 Sunfire and 1 Moonshadow mage, both holding glowing staffs and with their eyes glowing and white. The Moonshadow mage is wearing horn cuffs, signifying that he is in a serious relationship. This could also mean that he has a child/children (perhaps the assassin standing behind him) Behind them we can see 1 Moonshadow elf, clearly an assassin and probably the leader of the assassins, a knife strapped to his hip and wearing pauldrons, 1 Sunfire warrior, her sword drawn and 1 Skywing elf, one of the rare few born with wings.

What can we glean from this scene?

1) That these elves are important to Aaravos, especially Aditi and the mages due to their placement in the foreground. Aaravos probably knew all of these elves well, some may have even been his friends.

2) Over the centuries the Moonshadow elves have possessed more than 1 powerful magical artefact.

3) That the Moon staff and Sun staff are of great importance and of great interest to Aaravos.

4) That white, glowing magical eyes are not exclusive to Aaravos and may occur when powerful mages use these staffs.

5) That the Moonshadow and Sunfire elves are again the leaders and commander of this battle, with Aditi appearing to be the head of the army.

So what do these scenes mean for season 4 and beyond? An educated guess regarding future storylines

Given that the other events that Aaravos references in his introduction, the death of Avizandum and Ziard the dark mage played out on screen in season 3 I think that it's safe to say that we'll get to see these two events ourselves at at some point on the next 4 seasons.

We're also going to learn more about the elves in scenes 1 and 3, see just who they were to Aaravos and what roles they played not only in his life but also in his downfall.

I believe that the Moonshadow elf seen in the first scene was the one who asks Luna Tenebris to spare the humans and that in doing so she and the rest of her people were forced to abandon not only their most sacred site but also part of their ancestral lands.

Sceptres have long been associated with royalty, at least in Europe and so it would not be surprising if the daughter of an elven leader possesed and used such an artefact.

We'll see what happened in this battle, what happened to Aditi, how Aaravos' plans were uncovered and who was responsible for his undoing, imprisonment and erasure from Xadian history.

Given that Aaravos has already gotten his revenge on Aditi and has stolen and corrupted the Sun staff as well as killed the mage that wielded it my guess is that he will plan on going after the Moon staff and the descendant/s of the mage which once held it, not only for revenge but also to fulfill his goals. If this comes to pass and Aaravos is looking for the descendants of the Moon mage my guess as to who this elf will most likely be is Runaan. The Moon mage in scene 3 is in a serious relationship, hence the horn cuffs and this could also suggest that he has at least 1 child.

This ancestry would put Runaan in the spotlight and at the centre of the conflict between Aaravos and the rest of Xadia. And just to make this even more complicated I posit that Runaan and the two elves in scene 3 are all direct descendants on the Moonshadow elf in scene 1.

In conclusion Aaravos, the mysterious, charming and manipulative elf told this story in a very specific way and chose to represent, portray and remember these events and the elves at the centre of these events as they were not only key moments in his life and but also key relationships at different stages in his long life.

These are the elves that he wanted us to remember and he wanted us to remember them in a very particular and specific way. He wants us to know that they are important, that they were leaders and that he knew them. He just didn't tell us how or why.

#tdp #tdp spoilers #Aaravos #Runaan #Moonshadow elves #Sunfire elves #Skywing elves #tdp speculation #tdp predictions #tdp theories

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earthstellar · 3 years

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Russian Transformers AU Story Layout

Below the cut is a rough layout of story construction timeline to help structure chapter development.

Each part is multi-chaptered, so this is not to outline every single detail, but is to provide a framework for story development.

At the end, I also include some writing tips, which may or may not be helpful, but I’m a published author (there’s no way to say that without sounding pretentious) and sometimes people ask me stuff, so I figured I’d add some notes in case there are any writers out there, fanfiction or otherwise, who might find them helpful to think about.

PART 1:

Post-space battle entry into Earth's atmosphere, initial interactions with Russian environment (West Siberian area), Russian Forces initial involvement + establishment of dedicated Agent, kids hear rumours and explore, kids get caught by Autobots

PART 2:

Kids get familiar, the Agent is made aware of their presence and tolerates it to avoid news of the autonomous zone spreading further and possibly causing a panic/more investigation by surrounding people, we see the kids settle in a bit and get used to their guardians, with some cultural exchange and more lighthearted stuff to establish the human-autobot connection; Storytelling session, building stuff with each other, discussion of local environment and Russian social aspects (culture, etc.) with the bots providing the same information about Cybertron for the kids + the Agent, etc. to expand the audience knowledge of both Russia and Cybertron in a natural progression

PART 3:

Agent questions Autobots regarding other similar crash detected (where?) in Russia, turns out it's Decepticons, (still developing part 3, will expand on this once we get to that point)

There will likely be more parts which encompass multiple chapters etc. as things go along.

Bullet Points for PART 1:

-Post-Battle with Decepticons, ship enters Earth's atmosphere, they land in Russia based on low presence of local life forms and detect energon crystals throughout the region

-Surveying Western Siberia + Russian air forces detect foreign object entry into Russian air space, investigation begins

-Begin to assemble parts for a base, location layout expanded upon

-The kids are introduced, not yet involved with autobots but some setup is laid out for their eventual involvement

-Govt + Bots meet, Autonomous Zone is declared for the autobots after negotiations and diplomatic engagement, some human assistance from Russian forces re: allocating space/borders and some basic supplies begins - Russian Agent is allocated to the team for residency on site to monitor Autobots and aid with human relations

-Locals become suspicious of increased activity in the surrounding areas; Fades quickly as the Russian Forces mostly head out after initial contact with Autobots, but it was enough to stick in people's minds

-Rumours spread, mostly among childen. The adults/parents are mostly glad it seems to have been some rural training exercise that concluded without incident. Miko hears about it at school, Jack hears his mom talking about it on the phone in the morning before she heads off to work, Raf reads about it online - they individually decide to investigate and later meet one of two ways:

1) Each are busted by a different bot, brought back to the makeshift base, meet each other there

2) Meet each other in the periphery of the autonomous zone, decide to investigate together and get busted by bots who are re-purposing and repairing old materials gathered from a local abandoned textiles factory for the sake of base construction and get caught once a piece of siding they were hiding behind is picked up and moved by probably Bulkhead, who startles and alerts the others

Other relevant information:

Master Post of Russian TF AU material so far

My other fanfiction works for Transformers media

Again, all of the bullet points above are just quick ideas.

I don’t usually write this stuff out to share publicly, but as @everdino and @milabazal2002 have been kind enough to offer very important insights and information that has helped me develop this concept significantly, I want to share the entire development process so that we can continue to discuss the idea together as much as they’d like. I can’t thank them enough for their contributions! :)

(Actually, if the two of you want to be credited as collaborators on this work, I would like to include you both in the credits for this AU. I would love to give you both the credit you deserve for helping me learn and understand more about Russia and Russian people, and for your contributions to the AU concept itself. Without you two, I wouldn’t be able to make this story work!)

Writing Tips from Someone Who Is Somehow a Published Author:

When I write for things that will be published, I don’t ever really need to share this part of the process with many of my editors, so this is the first time I’m putting the way my brain works out there! Usually co-writers, if any, are the only ones who see this kind of stuff so early in the process.

It probably comes across as messy, but for anyone who wants to write professionally or even just in general, remember that your planning process doesn’t have to be perfectly ordered; Every story starts as an idea that gets built upon in ways that might not be linear, so it’s okay if you end up with notebooks or documents full of single-line ideas to develop further. Save your brain power for putting it all together, and just plan concepts out bit by bit in a way that makes sense to you.

Explain anything that may need explaining, and do so in a way that helps you explain to your readers/audience. Take notes and bridge individual thoughts or ideas for scenes into a fluid piece of work, and review + refine it as needed.

You don’t need to plan everything 100% from the start. Some things will evolve naturally, and you can only tell once you get started; It can take a few chapters before you have an overview of anything, so don’t put pressure on yourself if you still don’t know how things end, or don’t know certain aspects of story. You can develop things as you go, which works best for mid-length works.

For a huge story you want to take place over many chapters, you can work off of a general timeline or idea of main story beats, and build from there. You still don’t need to know every little thing, but play with it, see what works, and don’t be afraid to try out different stuff. Sometimes no or minimal structure is the best structure, especially for smaller or shorter works.

When I write fanfiction, I imagine I’m initially writing a concept for an episode of the show, and try to structure narrative etc. around that. I like to imagine visuals, even sound effects and music compositions, to add to individual scenes which make up the “episode”. I consider each chapter an “episode”, and think about how it might play out in 30 minutes on screen.

That type of visualisation may not help everyone, but I find it helps me determine how much to pack into a single chapter and how to go from chapter to chapter in a story’s plot, character development, etc. to form a full “season”.

Each part, as outlined above, can be considered a “season”, which each individual chapter being an “episode” of that season!

Crowdsourcing Research!

If any other Russian people want to comment or point out things that may be interesting to see or include in a Transformers story set in Russia, I am 100% open to hearing from Russian people!

I am writing about your country, and I want to be sure I represent it accurately and with care for any details I may not be aware of, or may not find in my own research.

Feel free to tell me about things, places, etc. that you would like to see, or think might be interesting to include!

#Russian Transformers #Russian TF AU #Russian Transformers AU #writing #fanfic #tf fanfic #story planning

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news4bees · 3 years

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Things I do to make my ADD/ADHD slightly more manageable.

Full disclosure: everyone is different and non-neurotypical behaviors are not a copy-paste situation. What works for me might put others in the exact opposite head space and that’s okay. I just wanted to share what I’ve learned works for me over the years. I’ve been really struggling with my ADD/ADHD lately and I need to remind myself of the healthy coping mechanisms I’ve developed so I can implement them again.

1. Have a morning routine.

Working from home as a freelance editor / publishing consultant, I have a lot of autonomy over my day. Which is great… if I make the most of it. I learned a long time ago that I am most productive in the morning, so it’s important for me to get myself into the right head space as soon as possible. I set an alarm to get out of bed at 7:00am every day, I try and go on a walk around the neighborhood first thing (weather permitting—we don’t mess around with rain or snow), I eat breakfast (usually including either coffee or tea for caffeine purposes and warmth) and take my supplements, and prep for my day. It sounds super simple, but it’s really all about inertia. A body at rest will want to stay at rest. I’ve had just as many days where everything goes according to plan and I’m able to have a productive day as days where I don’t get out of bed until I have to drag myself to my service job in the afternoon. So having that morning routine and sticking to it can honestly be a night and day difference for me.

2. Make a schedule for my day.

I have a terrible concept of time. I can look at a task, assume it’s going to take several hours, and abandon it before I even begin. Or I can see a gap of time in my day (such as the two hours between lunch and when I have to get ready for work) and be worried it’s too small of a window to accomplish anything so I lie around instead. By creating a schedule, literally an hour-by-hour layout of how I want my day to progress, I have a tactical roadmap for how to achieve my goals. I also make sure I schedule little breaks and time to eat, walk around, shower, etc. into my day so I don’t forget. It doesn’t have to be perfect, and I have to remind myself not to get upset if I end up deviating from the schedule for one thing or another. It’s mainly supposed to help me look at my day in a way that makes more sense to me and how my brain processes time. I fully understand that there are others that might see my hour-by-hour schedule and be completely overwhelmed—that’s fine! Find what works for you.

3. Set attainable little goals.

This one goes hand in hand with making myself a schedule. If I have a giant task I need to complete at a future date, I really struggle with conceptualizing it as something I need to get started on now. I see that future date, feel overwhelmed, try to calm myself down by thinking, “It’s okay, I have time,” and will sit on that task until the last minute when I have to scramble to get it done. It’s procrastination, yes, but it’s also not feeling too overwhelmed to act on something until there is that “go go go!” anxiety-inducing pressure to get it done. So I break it down into smaller pieces and set little goals. A 352 page manuscript I have to create an index for by March? Scary. But indexing one or two chapters a day? Much more doable. This also helps me accomplish non work-related tasks, such as calling the bank or scheduling appointments or canceling a subscription—things I would have trouble accomplishing on my own otherwise because my I have trouble differentiating between “important” and “immediate”. Goals don’t have to be solely task oriented either. Set a goal to reach out to a friend you haven’t connected with in a while; set a goal to meditate for fifteen minutes, or be intentional about doing something you love like reading or art or exercise. Personally, the more things I can check off my “to-do” list the better, so I write out everything I want to try and get done, even if I would have done it regardless.

4. Keep distractions out of reach.

This one is extremely tricky for me since I work exclusively out of my room since I moved back home. I’m always surrounded by distractions, from my phone to my bookshelves to the dozens of internet tabs I constantly have open on my laptop. I have little tricks I know work for me: keeping my phone on the charger in a different room (but close enough that I can still connect to the Bluetooth), leaving the book I’m currently reading and the journal where I write my fiction in my work bag downstairs, blocking YouTube and other distracting sites from my laptop, and making my bed each morning so I’m not tempted to crawl under the covers when I’m feeling burnt out. But knowing these things will help eliminate distractions and actually implementing these techniques are two very different things for me. As I write this, my phone is on the charger next to me, my fiction journal is within easy reach and I have corresponding document opened in another tab, none of my site-brokers are enabled, and my bed is a mess of cozy blankets—all major distractions for me that I’m blatantly ignoring. So what can I do about this? Set a new goal: move my phone and journal out of the room, close unnecessary tabs, re-engage the site blockers, and make my bed. Little things to reset my headspace and get back on track.

5. Have an accountability buddy.

While freelancing gives me a lot of personal freedoms, it also means I function as my own boss. Some people might enjoy such responsibility, but I personally really struggle when I’m not constantly checking in with someone and showing them my progress. An accountability buddy doesn’t need to function like a micro-managing boss, but they should be someone you can go to and say, “Here’s what I set out to do today and here’s what I accomplished.” Currently, I do not have a good accountability buddy (my ex was my accountability buddy when we were together during my last semester at college, but he often criticized me for only working in short sprints and needing to take a lot of breaks, so I’ve been really hesitant to trust another person in that role ever since), but my mom often lets me inform her about my goals and will share some of her’s in turn; my dad and sister on the other hand get uncharacteristically angry when I ask about goals, so I’ve learned to steer clear. Mirroring is also a common strategy for ADD/ADHDers. The visual stimulation of seeing someone else working can often be a bit of a jumpstart to my brain that says, “Okay, it’s time to do things.” In the old days, this meant I would spend hours in the library or at coffee shop doing my homework instead of my apartment because I was surrounded by others with similar tasks. Now, if I find myself needing a mirror I’ll move my operation to the kitchen table so that I’m closer to where my mom works and I can feed off her productive energy, so to speak.

6. Give myself grace.

Whenever I have an unproductive day, my first instinct is to be angry or upset at myself. What kind of person spends the entire day in bed and doesn’t get a single thing done? This would lead me down a self-deprecating path of calling myself useless and a garbage person, which is a big trigger for my depression and I can easily find myself spiraling. ADD/ADHD means my brain functions differently, but at the end of the day my brain still works. It doesn’t mean I’m stupid or lazy, and a bad day doesn’t mean I’m a bad person. My schedule and my list of goals are a template to help me focus, but if something happens that gets me off task, whether intentional or unintentional, I have to remind myself that it is not the end of the world. I have to give myself grace and forgiveness, because things happen.

I’d be really interested to hear what other strategies people have developed to manage their ADD/ADHD, especially in the midst of a pandemic that might have altered the way we approach our days. Keep being awesome!

#adhd brain #adhd things #adult adhd #coping mechanism

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seekersoflore · 4 years

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Flight Rising Timeline (In-Depth)

Super recently (like, earlier today), I drew a rough timeline of my own accounts of Sornieth’s history. (You can find it here!) That timeline is.... super roughshod and messy. I kind of wanted to detail or list out in better depth some of the things on that timeline. Or just, y’know. Write it out in general! Some inspiration also came from @hungrytundras so thank you to him for that - y’all should check out his lore. It’s super hella, and super in depth.

My events of Sornieth’s history also differ a bit from canon. There’s a lot of overlap, but a lot of things changed, too. And as always, this is all just my personal headcanons for my lore, and it’s in the sake of fun! Feel free to use it, or share it, or talk about it - or don’t! It’s up to you! Also... this might end up entirely defunct as I continue to create and expand. But it’s here for now, so- ...

It’s gonna get long, so we’re under a read-more for the actual content! Whoosh!

Age of Origins

Encompasses the canonical First Age, from the creation of Sornieth, up until the creation of the Pillar of the World.

From the depths of endless Void, magic writhes to life, and creates on a barren child planet the first dragon gods of history: Earth, Fire, Water, Wind.

It is from these Grand Wyrms that other deities arise. There are many more than the eleven we know now, but between all of them, there are Eight grand deities.

These deities war with one another endlessly. Their terrible magical wars result in the near destruction of the new world they were born in. This unending chaos attracts a very old entity - the very Void from which Sornieth took form from. As we call it now, it is the Shade, and intends to reclaim the space stolen from it and misused.

The deities wage war not with one another, but with the Shade, until it has been beaten back from Sornieth’s skies. The toll is heavy; only the Eight eldest deities remain.

In their grief and loss, the eight form a pact to come together, to prevent the Shade from returning and incurring more cruelty and loss. The Pillar of the World is formed on the Earthshaker’s spine, and the eight fall into a (presumed) eternal rest.

Age of Reclamation

Encompasses the canonical Second and Third Ages, from the rise of the unknown tribes, to the creation of the first of dragonkind.

With the Eight wyrms settled in sleep, the war-torn world of Sornieth begins to reform, heal, settle, and grow. With it, a new people arise - humanoid tribes whose faces have been long lost to history and calamity. These tribes grow in culture and reverence to magic, and much like the dragon gods before them, they turn to war against one another.

The global wars of these tribes end with the Magi during what was known as the Firebringer Uprising - where an oracle of the people foretold the coming history that would unite the tribes. From here, technology, the arts, and civilization as we know it begins to boom.

Eventually, it also physically booms, when during the opening phase of a great new reactor... it goes into meltdown and a catastrophic nuclear explosion that results in an extinction event across the planet. A new dragon deity grows within his nuclear egg.

The same blast leaves arcane radiation across the planet. From this radiation, extreme levels of life and decay begin to grow, until two more deities form from the ashes of an extinct people. They come to be known as the Gladekeeper and Plaguebringer, and for the rest of their days are at eternal war.

The nuclear egg hatches, and intimately curious about the world, the Arcanist explores the Magi’s constructions, history, and remaining culture. He holes himself up in the Observatory he finds until he causes the next planetary catastrophe.

As fauna and flora, life and decay, spread across the entirety of Sornieth during the Sister Gods’ eternal combat, a few vestiges of the Magi poke their head out of their refuges. They themselves have been changed significantly from the arcane radiation, and from this point in history, are a new people known as the Beastclan. They reclaim the abandoned cities, and tear them down to begin anew. The history of the Magi is frowned upon, and so they lay forgotten to history and hardship.

During this time, a few folk who still revere the old ways of magic build monuments to the Sister Gods who they live in fear and awe of, as well as to the Pillar of the World, the wellspring of all magic, and to the Magi long gone. One such place lays deep within the jungle home of the Gladekeeper’s origins - the Hall of the Ancients.

Eventually, the Arcanist finds something unusual within his telescope. An unnatural chill begins to settle over Sornieth, and the Arcane Wyrm is curious enough to travel to the top of the Pillar of the World in an attempt to explore and document. His curious folly leads to the revitalization and revenge of the Shade, coming down with enough force to destroy the weakened barrier - and the Pillar - almost entirely. Once again, the beastclan are nearly destroyed, though not nearly as completely as the time before. They will rebuild.

Left in the hull of the crater left from impact, the Eight are spat back into existence, and awaken to a world reclaimed by magic, flora, and fauna. The Shade twists through the air, free to infect the land as it meanders. Much power was lost in the expulsion of the barrier... but enough is left to cause entropy untold, if left unchecked.

The Eight decide to go their own ways. If they could not stop the Shade together, perhaps they could apart. And, of course, they are dragons. They have territory to reclaim. New challengers to beat back into their lanes...

Age of Ancients

A lost age. This age encompasses history modern dragons are only beginning to learn... that of the first dragons - the ancient breeds who were engineered for the purpose of reclaiming lost territory, and eradicating the remnants of the Shade, up until the creation of the eleven Flights, and relatively-modern Flight Rising.

Ancient Dragon breeds are created; Sornieth’s first relatively mortal dragons. They are apexes of their element, designed for war, and for capture, containment, and eradication of the Shade. They are not designed to intermingle with any other breed or element but their own.

For a long time, these dragons fight wars waged by deities to beat back and reclaim territory to call their own. These territories eventually expand and settle into what we know as the Eleven Flights.

After land is staked, and war-forged clans begin to settle and grow, the next order of business is to hunt down and eradicate the Shade. The original thought was much how the many deities of primordial times had once beaten back the shade before - as a unified force of elemental might. Taskforces were created, made up of eleven dragons, one of each elemental breed. These teams were very secular, and it was perhaps because of this that they did not last.

The second attempt was the first intermingling of clans and breeds, in the formation of more loosely open Shade Hunting Guilds. They were intended to share information and allow through less restrictions, better mobility and longevity in their success. One such guild was known as the Pillar’s Claw - based in Earth under the watchful eye of both Earthshaker and Icewarden.

Some deities however, did not take the failure of the taskforces to mean to loosen their grip. Instead, they tightened it significantly, and deigned to handle the Shade Problem themselves. This led to formations of the Gaoler Orders, and especially the Seekers.

The Gaoler Order spreads massively, and as it works to contain the Shade, also works to contain anything not deemed ‘justified’ or worthy in the Icewarden’s name. This leads to a conflict in the border of fire and ice that is as brutal and cruel as it is quick - the extinction of the Fire Ancients in the Banescale Conflict. The elemental territory of fire is devastated.

It is not long after the destruction of the Banescales that, for still many unknown reasons, the Ancient dragons begin to disappear from Sornieth as if they never existed, and the hunt for the Shade crawls to a halt, before also vanishing.

Age of Flights

What most consider the ‘modern age’ of Flight Rising. It encompasses the Rise of Beastclans, current site lore, up to the Bounty of the Elements. Going forward is where the majority of my personal lore comes in, be warned!

In the wake of the first dragon’s disappearance, the Beastclan make a second resurgence in culture and territory of their own. They take advantage of the settled state of the world, and settle permanent roots. These roots will be partially uprooted once again, very shortly.

A new breed of dragon emerges. Many, actually - with the fight against the Shade seemingly over, and in light of the terrible conflict of Gaoler and Banescale, there appears to be no need for the Ancient dragons anymore. Heads turn once more to the establishment of territory - and these new dragons, who are built not for fighting and hunting, but for building lives and communities, spread and thrive. This becomes the establishment of the Eleven Flights.

Beastclan are quickly overrun in their own homes, and it becomes a bigger point of contention than ever. Eventually, this leads to the rise of the Harpy Queen Talona, and the Beastclan emerge as a notable force, united to rise and stand toe to toe against - or with - dragonkind.

During the Rise of the Beastclans, dragons across Sornieth begin to interbreed and spread, founding more permanent homesteads, cities, and places of trade where elements intermingle and species are not homogeneous. One of these great hubs is formed in Shadow, in the visage of a coastal trade town called Emporiki.

Around the same time, one of many to come courier services are created. One of the older ones and amongst the first to offer service on a very wide continental basis, is the Wind-based Praesidium Postal Service.

As generations pass and the boundaries between elements muddies further within dragonkind, adventurers and explorers who are curious about the world before them begin to crop up. One such group rediscovers the Hall of the Ancients deep within the Rainforest Jungle, nestled on a plateau overlooking a massive glade centered by a giant hollowed tree. A clan forms here, originally created to study the temple, known as the Duskhallow Shire.

While Shade hunters no longer exist, until history and unfortunate local corruptions bring up forgotten information leading to the formations of new Guilds, bounty hunters and mercenaries surely do exist. The Venatore are one of them - a group of mercenaries who eventually unite under one gold-earning banner.

The expansion of territories and disputes with the Beastclan also leads to upticks of crime and cruelty amongst dragonkind, and the oracles of the Water Flight were not immune. An age of piracy brewed, and new rivalries and wars could be found over the open seas. One ship very late to this arrival is one very confused to its purpose - to be justice, or pirates? The flag this crew flies under is that of the Winged Doubloon.

Dragonkind will continue to expand and lairs grow and thrive for generations. Small disputes and civil wars come and go, politics expand, an Exaltation System is implemented in reverence and assistance to the Eleven, and crime rates rise and fall. New breeds are discovered, hidden in shadowy boughs, and birthed through accidental mutagens. This growth will continue until a new surge in magic appears, creating a new cycle of history repeating itself, as Sornieth heaves forward in a new chapter of history and excitement...

Age of Bounty

The Current Age of Flight Rising, in my lore. This encompasses the Bounty of the Elements up until the present day. I thought that with as much lore and huge updates like the Ancient breeds that we’ve gotten since that day, it was deserving of a new turn, and an age of it’s own.

As the Flights enter an era of unprecedented magical presence and growth, stories begin cropping up of unbelievable happenings: miracles, disturbing tales, historical discoveries, and horror stories.

New eyes are discovered upon Sornieth’s hatchlings, thought to be an aftereffect of constantly evolving and growing magic.

Discoveries of ley lines and new magic appears. These ley lines, long dormant, bring about quite a few problems of their own when dragons try to harness or manipulate them.

In miraculous events, an ancient breed of dragon is rediscovered within the Southern Ice Fields - the once powerful orders known as the Gaolers, reduced to hidden clans and secretive missions. Once they are outed, they begin to crop up around the world as the relic breed is reintroduced to society with open wings.

Stories about dragons going missing on archaeological digs begin to crop up. Fascinatingly, the opposite also occurs when on a job, the Venatore mercenaries dig up a living gaoler deep within stone, where he was presumably petrified within a many years’ spell. This Gaoler, known as Dante, claims to be a shade hunter from a guild nobody has heard of. He quickly commandeers leadership of the Venatore - disbanding them, before reforming and rebuilding them from the ground up, into a rebirth of one of the Shadehunting Guilds of ancient times - the Pillar’s Claw.

The most disturbing knews of this bounty of magic occurs. For unexplained reasons, two deities disappear from the face of Sornieth. The Tidelord’s prophecies cease, and his flight continues to mourn as they desperately search. The Windsinger too, vanishes, and with him the Twisting Crescendo. The air stagnant around Sornieth causes a surprising amount of environmental damage, and leaves the air nearly unusable. It is only by happenstance that the deity of Wind is rediscovered at all - and now the Crescendo blows the wrong way, leaving even more destruction as clans adapt.

One clan who was forced to adapt was the old established Praesidium Postal Service. Never built on the most solid ground, the renewal of the wind god’s hurricane tore the entirety of the structure and surrounding architecture from its foundations entirely - and now the clan is entirely airborne like many other ancient clans, suspended in the air and orbiting slowly around the Flight’s territory.

Things grow heated in Fire Flight, both physically and politically. While civil unrest fully blooms in the Magmablood Rebellion, a surge of lava and magma forms new islands... and also unearths the last surviving Banescales of all Sornieth. They take to the skies in song and fire and flight, and quickly spread across the globe.

In the Rainsong Jungle, in the midst of brewing civil war, the Hall of the Ancients begins to unseal itself. The magic keeping the temple unexplorable and closed off is beginning to weaken - two of the halls have opened thus far, and within them, surviving members of an ancient taskforce trapped two Ages prior; a Gaoler of Ice, and a Banescale of Fire. It is unknown why they, and possibly others, were trapped in such a godly spell of stasis, but now the entirety of Duskhallow is on edge.

Within the last months, something unknown appears to have happened to an old gang of dragons. Only one member of the original Blackspine Marauders’ crew is left in their territory, and the group now is infinitesimally small, but the fate of the other Marauders remains shrouded in mystery.

Present Day

#flight rising #fr #flight rising lore #flight rising timeline #fr lore #fr worldbuilding #worldbuilding #long post #this really is so long lmfao #but at least i'm creating something y'all feel? heck yeah #might get buried bc of tumblrs stupid thing about links #bc i linked the post with the drawn timeline #so that's a thing

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mistress-of-the-obvious · 5 years

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Despite the need to have quick takes on subjects, sometimes if not often times, it’s better to let things settle wait for more information, and find out your opinions on things. With this, I’m going to go back over the events with Spacecraft, Yuki Kajiura, and Kalafina.

On March 13th this year Spacecraft finally announced Kalafina’s dissolvent. @westkana pointed out to me that this was also the date that Spacecraft confirmed that Keiko was leaving. Here’s one of his sources: https://www.animenewsnetwork.com/news/2018-03-13/singing-unit-kalafina-agency-confirms-1-member-will-leave/.128905

The owner of https://vk.com/club_kalafina, Webteste Doityourself (be sure to follow his site – he’s awesome) noted that Wakana’s pamphlet from last year was in the Kalafina area and not in her new one.

A few months later we started getting some songs released from Hikaru and Keiko is now back touring with FictionJunction.

All signs point to there being a non-compete clause in the contract regarding Kalafina that lasted exactly a year. During that year span from March 13, 2018 to 2019, all content was contractually Kalafina. That is why Wakana’s pamphlet last year is placed there. This was likely so that Spacecraft and Sony could better sell the 10th Anniversary movie, concert, as well as the Best Of set.

One thing I found absolutely fascinating were the tweets from Japanese Twitter. There was a lot of anger stating that Spacecraft had no right to announce such since Kalafina was Yuki Kajiura, Keiko, Wakana, and Hikaru and they did not announce such. It was one I could understand on an intellectual level, but not an emotional one.

Prominent voice actor Jouji Nakata was voiced his own displeasure by posting a photo of himself with Kalafina stating, “I hope my princesses will be back someday!” He also liked and retweeted a tweet by Kyorakuhigurasi, which went viral. As you can see, I provided both with a Google translation. It was tweet after tweet with the same sentiment. It’s rather uncommon to see so many Japanese people angry like that. This explains Yuki Kajiura, Keiko, and Hikaru’s joint statement. Which you can see here as a refresher: http://fictionjunction.com/kalafina20190314/#

Spacecraft owns the trademark so technically they’re right about Kalafina disbanding. Fans are also right about Kalafina not being a name, but the people who comprise it. Had Spacecraft been a US company it would have been phrased something like this, “We are saddened to announce Kalafina is no longer managed by us. Right now, each have their own personal projects. We support all involved in their endeavors now and in the future.” As for why Spacecraft didn’t? Seems pretty obvious that it’s because they’re bitter.

Trademark is also based on use/disuse unlike copyright. The phrasing of the announcement could be considered abandonment, which I find really interesting. Of course, I’m not a Japanese trademark lawyer and time is what typically shows abandonment. I’ll return to my thoughts on the trademark claim a bit later here.

A few months later we were greeted to The Weekly Bushun article. I’ve seen a couple of versions of the article. Interestingly, the online Weekly Bushun article left out a big detail that another versions got (which makes me think it’s an also a paper - it’s also possible I just missed it there). Here’s where I got the information: https://news.livedoor.com/article/detail/16444902/

For a recap, when the last president of Spacecraft retired and the new president took over, he brought in a female official from Takarazuka Revue. He wanted Kalafina to be managed more like a typical pop group diminishing Yuki Kajiura’s role. This happened in 2016.

Yuki Kajiura was by far the longest talent in Spacecraft going back to at least 1997. She was also their big money maker. I don’t know how far back in the company Mr. M, assumed to be Yasunori Mori, goes back. Just that he was a long time trusted manager.

I can confirm this part of the rumor. I’ve heard that the new president was a big fan of Takarazuka Revue and wanted to change the company to fit more in line with his interests much to the dismay of various talent for a few years now. I also heard about a mystery female executive taking over Yuki Kajiura’s role in the Arena Live tour.

The key critical detail I didn’t notice on some other articles, which is in the Live Door version (doesn’t mean it wasn’t there, just that I didn’t see it) was the setting where the president yelled that Yasunori was a “spy” for Yuki Kajiura. The location was at Budokan at the Arena Live concert. He yelled this in front of his friends, family, and co-workers.

One of my favorite classes that I took in college way back in the early 2000s was Introduction To International Business. I love culture books that are often marketed to business people moving to nations long term and still buy them. One of the big things in business in Japan that is drilled: Do not scold, correct, or praise someone in public.

Japan is a culture based on harmony, so if I were a manager overseeing Japanese people if I noticed someone making a simple mistake and went over stating, “Oh you did this wrong. It needs to look like this. Simple mistake, it’s okay.” I disrupted harmony and gave that person a loss of face. Face can be summed up as something that can cause someone embarrassment, unwanted attention, or otherwise. It’s a little more complex than that, but it gives you an idea.

Another aspect of Japanese culture is sometimes referred to as “The Iron Rice Bowl.” This means it’s expected to promote within the company rather than bring in someone from outside. The idea is if you get into a company you should be promoted with good work until you retire. This decayed a bit after the great recession in the early 1990s, but it’s still there. So to bring in someone new at high level management is going to bring in a lot of discomfort, and the executive was going to face increased scrutiny. Some of this goes back into the concept of harmony. It certainly doesn’t help that based on the article, some thought she wasn’t qualified and she wasn’t able to handle her new position. This may also be why the current president got into his position. He may have simply had the most seniority.

While you do see the loud boss yelling in anime, anime is like comparing Hollywood to real life in the U.S. It’s not tolerated here in the U.S. and it’s not typical or accepted in Japan. One can only imagine what the president said to Yasunori or Yuki in private especially after this incident.

I was talking to someone else (not sure if they want to be revealed) about much of this stuff and we agreed that with all the activity with Kalafina’s Harmony fanclub with trips to Taiwan and the like, that Spacecraft and Hikaru, Keiko, and Wakana thought things would be able to continue somehow.

All signs point to negotiations about how the group would continue breaking down by late autumn. This can be found in the Question and Answers section in FictionJunction Club 35 (Winter 2017 – the content is typically done a few months in advance). I’m going on memory, but Keiko’s comment was something along the line of how their year went, “The first half of the year went well. I started learning Chinese. The second half went poorly. I hope next year will be better.” Hikaru stated “Road,” while Wakana said, “Smile.” I remember Wakana’s sounding particularly sad and upset. I looked for Putschki’s translation, but couldn’t find it. I know it’s there somewhere.

We know Keiko sent out her resignation to Spacecraft requesting her contract terminated a few months early in late December. A few days after this, the trademark claim was filed. I thought because Yuki Kajiura created Kalafina, that perhaps she was somehow giving her claim to Keiko otherwise the trademark would belong to Spacecraft.

When Keiko left, it was simply two paragraphs that were approved by Spacecraft online as apposed to Kaori Oda’s long blogpost and Hikaru’s long handwritten note. All signs point to a very hostile work environment for Keiko and anger on the part of certain people in Spacecraft.

While the trademark claim was ruled and given a sentence of her claim not being valid without additional documents, it was actually rescinded a few days before. Less than a month later Hikaru left Spacecraft. Seeing how close they are, I estimate that this was not a coincidence, though that is just an assumption on my part. I now suspect Keiko thought she had to file the trademark claim for her own protection and possibly that of Hikaru.

Now focusing on Wakana, had her contract been up to be signed again before those negotiations broke down, this would mean her contract ends in the first half of 2020. We know that Spacecraft typically has three year contracts because of Ryu Murasaki.

If the name sounds familiar it’s because she was added to Wakana’s tour last year. I state this because it was made to sound like it was solely Wakana at first, then marketed as double bill. When I saw her name pop up, I looked her up. She’s formerly of Takarazuka Revue and joined Spacecraft in 2016 when the takeover happened. I found on the Spacecraft store, after Kalafina, she had by far the most merchandise. From there I also found out that she was also on the World Heritage Tour.

Going back to this I remember when Ryu Murasaki was added some of the responses were, “Oh, I guess they thought Wakana couldn’t handle the tour alone.” Again going back to the concepts of face and harmony, I wasn’t happy with the set up. It caused Wakana to look less capable and since Ryu was added later, gave her fans less time to buy tickets as well as create tension between Wakana’s fans that thought it would just be her.

Ryu left Spacecraft on May 31st, giving her resignation on April 20th this year. You can see the link here: https://hochi.news/articles/20190420-OHT1T50051.html

Exactly why, of course, we don’t know. While she came along with the female executive, she may have been uncomfortable with possible preferential treatment and the possible tense work environment.

From the time Hikaru quit, I went back from 2016 to then 2018 and found twelve talent left. During that time I could only find Ryu as joining. They do have a new boy band, TFG, so since then they have gotten more people. Still this will mean, from 2016, at least thirteen people have left at current date.

The one part of the article I have my doubts on is Keiko getting a massive ego. We know at a concert in the past she was visibly upset with the amount of attention she was getting over Wakana and Hikaru at an overseas convention. She has also stated in the 10th Anniversary movie that she grew as a person by learning to be attentive over Hikaru, and Wakana’s feelings as she was oblivious of that before. This of course, doesn’t mean she didn’t mess up at times since this was a growing skill for her.

Instead, I suspect any sort of conflict between the three had to do with the lack of direction and stress, as Yuki Kajiura and Yasunori Mori were restricted of their positions and left. The high stress level could easily cause arguments that normally wouldn’t be there. If, for example, Wakana wanted to continue Kalafina while Keiko did not without Yuki, Wakana would be more sensitive to Keiko’s popularity. I need to note, I have no evidence or knowledge that Hikaru or Keiko have any conflict with Wakana and suspect it is an issue of contract issues, but I also have no evidence there isn’t a conflict either. I suspect that the informant meant things more like I state as the whole point of the article was to highlight the possibility of Kalafina reforming. If they hated each other, than one would think that would be the headline instead.

As to why Hikaru, Yuki, or anyone else hasn’t shown pictures or talked about Wakana much probably goes back to harmony again. If certain people within Spacecraft are angry at Yuki, Yasunori, and Keiko, I can imagine what the reaction would be if Hikaru posted a picture of her together with Wakana or if Yuriko Kaida tweeted something about her. Even if this wasn’t the case, showing such pictures and making comments alone can be seen as awkward.

Fast forward to now. There have been questions on Yasunori’s whereabouts since he left Spacecraft. I believe he may have helped with Yuri Matsuoka’s triple EP release .A, .B, and .C. Kaori provided backing vocals for some of the songs. Outside of that, I didn’t know where he was until recently.

Kugayama on the Canta Per Me Discord (which is where you can easily find me) was kind enough to buy me copies of Yuriko Kaida’s Porta and Jr.’s album along with the new pamphlet (he’s going back to Japan in a few days for the last two Tokyo dates – I’ve begged him for Yuriko’s new album and the photobook). While I was admiring Yuriko’s Porta CD, I looked at the back of the credits: Yasunori Mori (Highway Star). Kugayama had thought he retired.

I asked him about Highway Star since he mentioned it to me before and he said Yuki Kajiura’s FictionJunction Station seemed to be run on the same hardware. What I found was illuminating.

Highway Star delves into both PA Engineering and Artist Production. They manage Anisong artists as well as planning events and fanclubs. They are also invested in expanding to global markets (so anime conventions and potential concerts). You’ll see they have a lot of familiar names they’re managing: Jam Project, Masaaki Endou, GranRodeo, and Yorke from Old Codex.

Suddenly, a missing piece fit. When I was at Anime Expo last year, I noticed a lot of little things. Besides the fact that the FBM were May’n’s backing band, Ohira was the only manipulator for the entire concert, and the camera work for Yuki Kajiura was what I thought to be the best. Highway Star was likely the company providing the technical knowhow behind the scenes and some of the people likely worked with her in the past.

If you check their corporate site, you’ll see Yasunori Mori listed as an Executive Officer. The company was created back in 2009 and just recently announced a new business partner artist earlier this year: Yuki Kajiura. They also have ties to BandaiNamco.

You can see the links here: https://highwaystar.co.jp/about.html https://highwaystar.co.jp/ap.html https://highwaystar.co.jp/img/oshirase190304.jpg

I wouldn’t be surprised if either Hikaru or Keiko end up being managed by Highway Star for their solo careers.

So there’s my recap, with new information, and some idle speculation. We’ll never really know the truth, but the shadow of it still looms. I’m interested in all your thoughts.

#kalafina #fictionjunction #yuki kajiura #highway star #spacecraft #wakana ootaki #wakana otaki #keiko kubota #hikaru masai #h-el-ical #wakana

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jefferyryanlong · 4 years

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Fresh Listen - The Squids, The Squids (Bankshots Music, Inc. and Oto-Songs, Inc., 1981) and Duganopacalypse Now (A Fan Compilation, circa 1981)

(Some pieces of recorded music operate more like organisms than records. They live, they breathe, they reproduce. Fresh Listen is a periodic review of recently and not-so-recently released albums that crawl among us like radioactive spiders, gifting us with superpowers from their stingers.)

The first band I ever loved was the Beatles, and John Lennon was dead years before I had any idea of who they were. It wasn’t until Kurt Cobain died that I had any interest in Nirvana--I recall an eighth grade classmate looking at mw with contempt after I told them I was unfamiliar with their music, when “Smells Like Teen Spirit” was already an MTV hit. The chemical composition of my brain was dissolved and reconstituted over the course of two weeks when, at twelve years old, I watched One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and Cool Hand Luke on late-night television, but both films were about twenty years old by then. I just heard of Herbie Hancock’s V.S.O.P. album, featuring Freddie Hubbard, Wayne Shorter, Ron Carter, and Tony Williams, about two weeks ago. I’m 42 years old now and I’ve only just come to realize how cutting and prescient Claude McKay’s novel Banjo is.

All this to say that I wish I’d been around when Honolulu’s The Squids were playing around town. (Much thanks to Roger and Leimomi from Aloha Got Soul for pointing me in the right direction.) The Squids were so odd and varied, a New Wave outfit with the muscularity and venom of the truest punk rock, able to invoke the B-52′s in the same gig as Talking Heads or the Ventures or the Specials, all with the same veracity, but much weirder and crueler. They married a sunny, breezy synth sound with an aesthetic that I can only describe as joyously psychopathic, spraying smart-ass malice on the unfortunate subjects of their songs.

Though the band only officially released a 7-inch EP in 1981 (currently unavailable on Amazon) Comrade Motopu, the mysterious archivist who, through digitized vinyl and cassette tapes, as well as donated photos, scanned liner notes, flyers and news releases, has painstakingly agglomerated Hawai‘i rock music and associated miscellany on a magnificent pre-Y2K looking website, has not only shared the Squids’ EP (featuring “Tourist Riot,” “‘Love Theme’ From Surfer Boy,” “In,” and “Rio”), but what is also listed as Duganopacalypse, a fan compilation with even more twisted tunes: “Medicine,” “Sexy,” “Head in the Sand,” the ska-soaked “New Girl in Town,” their partially awful, mostly spectacular “Cool Clear Water,” and “Pretty Vacant (with Dugan),” the Never Mind the Bullocks classic with a seemingly hated fan on the inarticulate vocals. I only pray that Comrade Motopu continues documenting this underhand era of Pacific rock music of the late Seventies to early Nineties--the site is a treasure, and more words about the bands highlighted on comrademotopu.com (the Vacuum and Yahweh’s Mistake, for instance) will be coming soon.

The Squids began as a concept by guitarist Beano Shots in 1979, later to take shape as a full-fledged human/cephalopod music group with members Kit and Gerry Ebersbach, Dave Trubitt, and Frank Orall. Those of us who sweatily flailed our way through a booze-and-drug bender on the strobe-lit (at least, as it appeared then) dance floor of the Wave Waikiki between the hours of 2 AM and 4 AM when all the other bars closed down would be surprised to learn that the now-demolished former nightclub, a hub for the scraped-out, after-hours husks operated by the residual combustion of chemicals in their blacked-out reptilian brains, once hosted the edgy Squids as the house band, presumably when the going-out crowd still had an affinity for fun, strong music, and did not simply seek to propel themselves upon the the mechanized beats and soulless zombie tracks initiated by a faceless button masher, in hopes that they would be manipulated, by the end of the night, into some loveless fuck with a nobody.

Of the Squids’ stage show, we have but one recorded example of the band live in concert: a faithful interpretation of the Sex Pistols’ “Pretty Vacant,” in which the players serve as back-up band for a loyal heckler known only as “Dugan.” Having taken (jokingly) enough shit from Dugan, the band harasses him into sing-shouting the song. The performance captures the “fuck you” sentiment of “Pretty Vacant” with a primitive abandon that almost makes the original seem like a Monkees’ tune. It also portrays a punk rock scene less enlightened to the diverse lifestyles it later engendered, when “dick sucking” was applied exclusively as a pejorative.

The same pissed-off adrenalin leads off the the 1981 EP in “Tourist Riot,” an apocalyptic narrative of that species of traveler compelled to hammer a new experience into a predetermined mold that will establish an appropriate backdrop to their social media posts. The tourists here burn hotels and smash out windows when their expectations aren’t suitably met--a bad vacation in which they are pushed around and mistreated leads the tourists to murder and mayhem.

“Tourist Riot” lays out the Squids’ music aspirations right away, especially in the interplay between Beano Shots’s electric guitar and Kit Ebersbach’s keyboards, which morph from forbidding electronic warning tones to psychedelic ghost notes to the replicated sirens of a city on fire, collateral damage in a war between locals and tourists. Following a surprisingly effective bridge that concludes with a shouted “Fuck it, I’m going to New York City!” is an atonal guitar solo reminiscent of Nels Cline asleep at the wheel, redeemed by a more fluid keyboard exploration.

When Jimi Hendrix claimed that “you’ll never hear surf music again” in 1967, he was, through the example of his own transcendent playing on “Third Stone from the Sun,” burying the corpse of that elementary, improvisationally unimaginative rock instrumental with the axe with which he had slew it. To that end, after hearing Jimi Hendrix and all the musical manifestations that took shape from his cosmic residue, it is sometimes hard to take surf music seriously. “‘ Love Theme’ from Surf Boy” comes across as the Squids’ winking parody of the genre, with its reverb, its whammy, its overall melancholy, and its simplicity. That said, there is some sophistication in the song’s structure, as if the wordless tune was more an exercise in technique, an attempt to take stock creatively before reaching out to a farther and stranger place.

On “In,” the guitars and keyboards snarl rabidly toward the same explosive destination, barely kept in check by the talents of the players. Lyrically minimalist, the song’s non-sequiturs slice through the instruments like assembled cut-up style by William S. Burroughs. “Are you losing sense of humor, could be Jesus was only kidding” followed by “are you losing sense of humor, could be Jesus was just a salesman.” These pieces of thoughts unfinished resonate in my head like something close to catchy--to what end, I don’t know. Where the keyboards overmatched the guitars on “Tourist Riot,” on “In” the guitar is locked in and dirty, climaxing in repetitive harmony between the instruments to close out the song.

When I first read the track listing to the 1981 EP, I thought the final song “Rio” would be a rough rendering of the hit video single by near-contemporaries Duran Duran (whose synth-guitar arrangements, though undoubtedly smoother, find relation in the Squids’ overall aesthetic). Instead, “Rio” is an acid commentary on the American Capitalist, represented as a white suit soaked in sweat, and his compulsion to foster vice and iniquity to exotic locales.

I’m not sure whether the fan compilation Duganopacalypse, also available for listening through the Comrade Motopu website, was recorded before, after, or during the sessions of the 1981 EP. A few tracks lead me to believe that the songwriting and arrangements are from a wiser, more sophisticated band, while other songs seem so apelike in their imitations as to come through as pointless satires, or maybe the explorations of a band trying to find its identity.

In “Medicine,” for instance, the Squids operate under an overpowering B-52′s filter that washes out their uniqueness. Whereas on previous tracks this influence existed only at the fringes of their sound, the singer on “Medicine” channels Fred Schneider on the verse and switches to David Bowie during the bridge. The role-play, though, doesn’t kill the the more interesting aspects of “Medicine”--its guitar lick is inventive and so wormy as to be slightly irritating, and the song’s themes, that one must willingly imbibe “the medicine” to accept the hypocrisies of this “downer world,” resound strongly to anyone who casts their eyes around a crowded room.

Where the B-52′s references go deep in “Medicine,” Talking Heads emerge in “Sexy,” from David Byrne’s vocal tics to the subtle and swampy “Take Me to the River” vibe. It goes beyond straight homage to cover band territory, but it does emphasize the band’s technical ability to lock into a groove. “New Girl in Town” is a heaping serving of not-completely-warmed-up ska leftovers, a bit misogynist (of its time, but still). “Head in the Sand,” regrettably, could have been the Squids’ crossover pop hit. I say “regrettably” because, even though the song has a point--that the ability of humans to maintain a semblance of happiness is to carefully cultivate the warm fuzz of obliviousness, sacrificing will to fate in the belief that nothing we could do to change anything would matter anyway--the effort seems more calculated than organic, a plastic approximation of the closest this band, given their specific set of skills, could get to a pop crossover hit. The work put into it seems to drain away at some of the dirty magic. It‘s self-conscious in a way that the other songs aren’t.

Finally we have “Cool Clear Water,” what would have been the band’s masterpiece if they’d spent a little more time recording a decent take (the version on the Duganopacalypse almost sounds live, though it could have been laid down in a rehearsal space). This is not the country classic performed by Marty Robbins and Johnny Cash. The Squids’ “Cool Clear Water” is the frightening confession of a soldier recently returned from the war in Vietnam, directed by an angel spirit to mass murder with a shotgun from a tower in town. When the killer is set to be executed, the angel spirit comforts him, tells him his spirit will be redeemed in heaven for “setting the people free.” The unnerving subject matter of “Cool Clear Water” is given sinister shape by the relentless horror-notes of Kit Ebersbach’s organ, the guitar holding down the song’s march toward inevitable nothingness because the bass (normally played with elan by Gerry Ebersbach) is a complete mess (I’m not sure if she hadn't learned the song or if she just showed up at the gig drunk).

As Marc Maron frequently says on his podcast, “there’s no late to the party” anymore, given the the amount of content available to all of us via the digital consciousness that we are now more plugged into than not. But I’ve waited all my life to lose myself in something vital, of the moment, with my eyes and ears and heart present while the thing is taking shape, at its most temporal. I feel that way listening to the Squids. I wish I could have seen them at one of their Wave gigs. I wish I could have had a beer with them afterward, and gushed in the embarrassing way I do about things I love.

#freshlisten #thesquids #honolulu #1981ep

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nadamahmed98-blog · 4 years

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A5 presentation/proposal

“Industrial Debris” - Visual Story/ photo series. Broken side roads, road bumps, construction remnants, etc that fill Egyptian streets, make life difficult for people living in Egypt on a daily basis. It makes your commute to work or walking on a side road to avoid the influx of cars a lot more difficult. This is a struggle that plagues everyone here without exception, rich or poor, driver or pedestrian, in almost all areas in Cairo. While it’s seemingly one of the many “small” inconveniences we learned to overlook and live with, it’s reflective of a bigger picture of negligence and poor urban planning in general. We can see that in the never ending construction and reconstruction in New Cairo, and recently Heliopolis. All a result of bad planning and a lack of concern for the comfort of citizens. Hence the title “Industrial Debris”, Egypt’s construction ventures leave us endless debris of broken tiles, roads, road bumps, holes, and piles of sand (which I will photograph later). Might photograph a broken or unfinished building under construction as an establishing shot, or maybe construction workers on the site. Need feedback on that.

2. Research (Of other similar projects)

Andrew Meredith - Hashima Island

https://www.lensculture.com/search/projects?fallback=not-found&q=concrete&modal=project-4980-hashima

Lying off the coast of Nagasaki on the Southwest coast of Japan, Hashima Island (aka Japan’s Ghost Island), was once the most densely populated place on earth because of its 15 acre size (the equivalent of 15 football pitches) that housed 5000 people.

The island was built in the 1800s, by owner Mitsubishi. He developed the tiny island into a coal mining settlement where coal was dug from beneath the South China Sea. The population grew rapidly due to the profitability of coal at the time, which meant Mitsubishi had to expand to accommodate the mining workers and their families. Because the island was so densely packed, travel to and from it was heavily restricted, so all the workers had to live and work there full time. In 1974, the mine was closed by the Government of Nagasaki to protect Mitsubishi’s interests. Oil was now more financially rewarding than coal, leading to a mass exodus from Hashima. Workers and their families relocated to mainland Japan in search of new jobs. In their haste to leave, the people of Hashima Island had no time to pack-up all their belongings, so they had to leave them behind. Today, these items can still be seen in the derelict apartments, school, hospital and playgrounds. Over many years, Hashima Island remained untouched and was left to decay. Harsh weather conditions including typhoons, high waves and strong winds caused concrete to crumble and wood to rot. The island was closed and considered too dangerous for anyone to step foot on its concrete banks.

Andrew Meredith and his crew gained permission from the Nagasaki government to visit.

Perhaps this project is the most similar to mine. It shows “industrial debris” almost exactly as I imagine it, and especially the first picture resembles a picture I’m considering shooting for this project, and I feel like it communicates a very similar idea. The pictures show urban ruin and abandonment.

Analysis:

1- Photos tell the truth: In this case, yes. The photos show the true state of the island. \

2- Photographers take photos or just set them up? There was no setting up here, no props or studio work. So although the photographer didn’t set up the subjects, he set up the composition, framing, which angle and lighting to take it from, what to include in the frame in the first place and so on.

3- The photographer is (not) neutral: He’s not. He stated that he chose this project due to his fascination with decrepit places. “I instantly became fascinated with this derelict city, knowing immediately that I wanted to photographically document the island and its characteristics. By doing this and revealing some of the island’s history, it would allow me to share Hashima with others to make them aware of its existence, creating images that would encourage curiosity and intrigue.” That’s the message he’s trying to send through his photographs.

4- An image has hidden meanings: Not necessarily, because it documents a place as it is, that carries historical heritage.

Peter Ainsworth, Concrete Island

https://www.lensculture.com/search/projects?fallback=not-found&q=concrete&modal=project-116-concrete-island

The project is a series of photographs all shot in the same location. It depicts walls that support a flyover of the A406 (a ring road in the suburbs of North London). The project’s title refers to J.G. Ballard’s novel of the same name in which an architect becomes stranded between intersecting motorways after a car crash: a modern interpretation of Daniel Defoe’s Robinson Crusoe. The photographs are all shot in the same location, an edge space entered into through a gap in the railings. The site is surrounded on all sides by roads. It exists in a footprint of an overpass, an uninhabited isosceles of land with no specific social designation other than as waste. (Lensculture)

“Within the photographs there is little evidence of the world beyond the wall: the view is suffocating, controlled, concentrating the viewers’ eye on the effects of human intervention within these landscapes and the colour of the concrete surfaces.” (Peter Ainsworth)

This project mainly displays concrete walls, most of which are naturally damaged/ tainted somehow. It seems to show urban ruin to an extent, which I find relevant to my project.

Analysis:

1- Photos tell the truth: This is the true condition of this place. However, the photographer has a very subjective understanding of it, and he’s trying to convey that. He perceives a “suffocating, controlled, concentrating the viewers’ eye on the effects of human intervention within these landscapes and the colour of the concrete surfaces.”

2- Photographers take photos or just set them up: He set them up because he chose only to photograph the walls, and up close instead of from a distance for example.

3- The photographer is (not) neutral: He’s not, he has specific interpretation of the nature and condition of these walls, which may not be shared by other people. And he perceives it in relation to a particular novel, adding to his subjectivity, which is the opposite of neutrality.

4- An image has hidden meanings: Definitely. Ainsworth said: “Mirroring the protagonist of Ballard’s novel: firstly marooned physically then unable to escape psychologically, I have a sustained engagement with this site. The area surrounding the space is in the process of being cleared. The walls under the flyover are plainly visible from the road. Consequently a whole series of new graffiti has cropped up covering over the marks that I have been photographing for the past year.

This occurrence has forced me to re-adjust my engagement: to go deeper into the site.”

Barry Cawston - Scenes from the Concrete Jungle

https://www.lensculture.com/search/projects?fallback=not-found&q=concrete&modal=project-10938-scenes-from-the-concrete-jungle

The description of this project is: “The city of the Blade Runner is not the ultramodern, but the postmodern city. It is not an orderly layout of skyscrapers and ultra-comfortable, hyper-mechanized interiors. Rather, it creates an aesthetic of decay ﾠexposing the dark side of technology, the process of disintegration....” (Lensculture).

This image is titled “crane”, which is an industrial tool, and the project’s title itself makes it even more relevant to me as my idea was inspired by concrete jungles, Cairo being one. So this picture + the project as a whole highlight the notions of industrialism and concrete jungles, both of which I’m also addressing.

Analysis:

1- Photos tell the truth: Given the highly philosophical idea behind this project, it’s hard to pinpoint what the “truth” is, especially that it’s based on a fictional movie. The only definite truth here is that this is what industrialism looks like, and machines like the crane are used as part of it.

2- Photographers take photos or just set them up: Those are real sites, but he clearly set up the composition, as all photography entails.

3- The photographer is (not) neutral: Absolutely not. He’s making a commentary on postmodernism and expresses a negative opinion about hyper-developed cities “Rather, it creates an aesthetic of decay ﾠexposing the dark side of technology, the process of disintegration.”

4- An image has hidden meanings: Definitely. Someone who doesn’t know the inspiration of the project would never guess that it’s about postmodernism. I didn’t. They would look at it and see a bunch of abandoned construction sites or industrial paraphernalia, and could interpret it in a million different ways.

3- Test Shots

4. Production Timeline

Nov 24: Get feedback on project topic

Nov 24-Dec 5: Take various shots based on feedback

Dec 5-Dec11: Ask for feedback again

Dec 11-15: Finalize photos, edit, etc

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