#they finish up a great scene. hot lesbian sex. all going well. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

valenhell · 3 years

Text

From the studio that brought you “I can’t find good Byler fics in the ao3 tag”, comes:

"The Definitive Byler fic rec list"

Literally no one asked for this but because I spent the majority of last year (...and 2019, and 2018...) reading byler fics and coping with life, I thought I’d make a list of some of my absolute favorites.

The other day I was basically starving for some byler fics and the angel @magicalfairy provided me with some of her faves so I thought I’d do the same, because I love reading, and I love all of these fics and I appreciate their writers💗 And fic writers in general, come on!

- This is a mix of long works and one-shots/short stories. - Everything is mostly fluff with a tad of angst and a lot of internalized homophobia conflict. - Every fic is completed, except for the ones I mention that they are not. - I try my best to lay out the stories in a way that I won’t spoil you the plot but also warning you of some stuff you might don’t like. Either way, all of these fics are correctly tagged by their respective authors/owners, so read at your own risk. For better understanding, in between brackets I denote Rating, Words and quantity of Chapters. - I feel like I should clarify, none of these are narrated in the singular first person. None of that “And I told him...”, no.

Long fics

a dream always the same (T, 99k, 35 chapters) What happened in those few weeks between the Battle of Starcourt and the Byers leaving Hawkins. Literally a satisfying and very needed fill in of season three, with a good dose of Mike’s thoughts and conflict. Mike’s characterization is specially amazing in this one. The writing style is amazing and I know the author put everything into making it historically accurate, and it was really sweet. You probably read it, it’s by the amazing sevensided here on Tumblr🧡

Spring Break (T, 120k, 14/15 chapters) The slowburn of my dreams. Lots of internalized conflict and conflict with each other. Conflict within the Party (uhh kind of), conflict with Mike and Will. Byers family has moved and the kids are visiting! Chaos. Characterization is on point. Yeah, I know it’s unfinished, but the fourteenth chapter actually serves as a pretty nice ending.

This is where it starts (M, 148.8k, 24 chapters) Aged up characters. The Party is in college and Will disappears again, but now it’s different. Mike knows he didn’t vanish from thin air, and the discovery he and the Party end up making is pretty insane. Mystery solving/fantasy/third dimension, throw in a bit of D&D and Mike realizing some shit, and you get this marvelous fic. It’s a breath of fresh air. The world building is definitely one of the elements that stands out the most, because it’s very nicely described, it sounds like a dream and it’s completely immersive. Absolute gem of a fic.

there’s a Starman waiting in the sky (M, 30.6k, 8 chapters) Do I need to say anything? Will is out there living his best life and Mike realizes that wow, umm, maybe his best friend looks a bit too nice with that costume... and wait, is he getting horny? It’s actually really fun and sexy.

The Evening Speaks (T, 23k, 7 chapters) In where Mike is a late-night college radio host and Will is the art student that stays up till late to catch up with Wheeler on the Mic. They flirt through songs y’all, this one is really sweet.

heads or tails? (E, 24k, 3 chapters) Aged up characters. I know most people don’t enjoy sex in fics and with specific characters but this one is insanely well written. It’s a slowburn that commits to the tension and with every word you are grasping and anticipating their next move. I think you can find the author here on Tumblr as yousaidyes🧡

The Man of Average (M, 56.7k, 5/? chapters) Aged up characters. No but you don’t understand, the writing here is absolute gourmet. The story is exciting as well, it’s super interesting. Weirdly enough, for being very aged up characters, they are well characterized but they don’t feel like teenagers. They are naturally Mike and Will. The author really captured Mike and Will’s essence. I know, it’s unfinished and it’s updated very rarely, but this is the typical fic you can’t believe someone just posted on the internet for free. I will say though, I think it’s definitely not for everyone. Read at your own risk.

Heartstrings (E, 82.8k, 24/? chapters) Aged up characters. By the same author of The Man of Average. A collection of memories, the road to Mike and Will’s happy ever after. And fucking hell!!!!! You’ll cry and get angry, you’ll cheer for them, then you’ll want to crash their faces together because god dammit you love each other!!! But yeah, same thing here. The writing and the way the story is laid out as a nonlinear narrative is brilliant. And I also think this is one of the best Will versions I’ve read. The author might as well be the og creator of this two characters tbh. You can find the author here as mylesimeblr🧡

Sinners behind the walls (T, 1.5k, 1/1) And because I can’t stop recommending this author, a little thing of Mike tormenting himself but also being too deeply committed to Will.

The Red Envelope series (T/E, 167K, two completed works) Something happens that Will thought was impossible and from there, pure drama and romance. Anything by this author has the potential to become your absolute favorite fic, but this series in particular is amazing. I doubt that any of you haven’t read this, but it doesn’t hurt to put it in this list. I’m pretty sure the author is serendipitous-magic on Tumblr🧡

A New Fight series (T, 91k, two completed works, one WIP) And finally the Star Wars AU that we all needed. But this isn’t your typical “Mike is Han”, “Will is Leia” and “El is Luke”, it’s way more interesting than that, and the author has appropriated the Star Wars world like no other. I’ll admit I’m not a 100% fluent in SW lore but this is amazing to me either way. This author is also on Tumblr, tea-for-one-please🧡

- Yes, most of these are (if not all), in a way, canon compliant/canonverse/canon continuation into fanon. (In a way)

One-shots and short stories

Sundae for Two, Please (G, 4.8k) Steve being the supportive friend and older brother these kids collectively need. (not Jonathan erasure, we love him). Steve is very sweet himself, and this little cute thing through his POV is gorgeous. Yes, it’s byler.

Backstage (T, 10k, 2/2) Jonathan, you forgot to mention to Will how hot your new band’s guitarist is, dude. Now he’s hyperventilating and weirdly flirting with him in the corner. Background Stonathan because why not.

102 Peach Street (G, 3.8k) Established relationship, but not only that, they are married :’’))) PURE fluff. Extreme fluffiness. Diabetes.

sweatshirts and bottled up feelings (T, 3.2k) Or, Mike thinks that the sweatshirt Will wears looks insanely good on him. And kitchens are for lovers.

kiss it better (T, 16.3k) Basically one of the best character studies of a few precise moments of Mike and Will’s relationship and feelings.

will wonders ever cease (T, 11.3k) #i ship will and happiness. Omfg what a beautiful piece of fanfic. Will centric, this kid really deserves all the good in the world.

The Calm After the Storm (T, 1.6k) Tooth rotting fluff, boyfriends in love. Boyfriends being lazy, cuddling, love words, kisses. Boys loving each other’s company... Basically, Mike and Will in their element. What more can you ask for?

neither of us ready to let go (T, 4.8k) That scene from season three, but a bit of a fix it.

Still in love (G, 1k) Domestic, married life au fluff. Y’all, I’m a sucker for established Byler, even if I can’t find many fics with it. But this is very sweet. It takes place in 2020, but I don’t think there are any mentions of the COVID-19 crisis that I remember.

I Nver Find Out ‘Til I’m Head Over Heels (G, 12.5K) Classic 5+1 fic. If you haven’t read it, where have you been? This is your moment. In where Mike keeps inviting Will to the school dances and Will thinks it’s just a joke until he realizes it’s not.

Before You’re Gone (T, 5.9k) Will is leaving Hawkins and Mike thinks this is a great moment for a confession. This one I discovered last friday, thank you friend @magicalfairy 💗

You’re weird Wheeler (M, 4.5k) Mike unintentionally starts a tradition of going to each other to talk about their sexual encounters just after they finish. Will keeps getting more explicit with the details he shares, and he makes his best friend interested. This one is really fun y’all.

Out-Of-Town Friends (N/R, 4.6K) It’s not rated. I haven’t re- read it but I’d say it would probably fall in a T rating. So cute!! Will has new friends and sneaks off every friday and the Party doesn’t know where he is going, so Mike decides to follow him and is surprised.

Snowed Under (G, 1.3k) By the same author of The New Fight series. Mike is spending christmas by himself in college because a snowstorm hits Chicago and Nancy can’t drive to see him, but then he has a surprise visitor. Ahhh just a lil sweet holiday fic. Super cute.

you love me anyway series (T, 7.1k, three completed works) Literally just the cutest thing ever. Established Byler. Will loves to take pictures and he loves taking pictures of Mike. It’s adorable.

you wanna be friends forever (i can think of something better) (T, 9k) This one is so amazing. So. Amazing. From Will’s POV, my kid deserves the world and he gets it.

okay not to be okay (T, 4.9k) Mike is a bit sad but then everything is okay.

can’t hold out forever (G, 18.4k) Y’all!!!!! 5+1 sweetness. Mike has been falling in love since kindergarten. And it’s long af, you’ll enjoy it.

even if it takes forever (G, 1.3k) College short AU, they miss each other, they love each other, they promise all to each other. It is sappy y’all.

clear as day (N/R, 18.4K, 4 chapters) It’s not rated, but I’d say it falls in the T category. Strangers to friends to lovers. And also, everyone is pretty gay; we have our dynamic trio Mike, Max and El as disaster lesbians (and gay). Will works at the library and he is also gay. Lucas and Dustin and Will are the best friends we needed. It’s very sweet and the Party is kind of formed here!

I went overboard with the one-shots, so you must have realized how much I love long one-shots and I favor them over long works lmao but they are all amazing!!! If it’s on this list, I probably read it at 2 am, sobbing in my bed. So. Hope you enjoy it☺️🧡

761 notes · View notes

booppooo · 3 years

Note

I would like to request prompt 2, the reader's pronouns are gonna be she/her, and the whole plot of this oneshot is gonna be where Manny and Mel are on the supply run and Abby is left with reader in the car. They want to relieve themselves so reader eats Abby out in the car. Abby squirts a lot, please and thank you🥰

Gotta Make This Quick

AN: Ask and you shall receive....eventually.

Warnings: unestablished relationship, semi-public sex, lesbian sex, oral, squirting

Word Count: 1743

Third POV:

It was just another simple supply run, nothing special to it. Only this time Y/n had been assigned to tag along in lieu of Abby's favorite girl - Alice. An extra set of hands were always nice in this world considering every horrible possibility could happen at any moment. So the solider didn't mind seeing Y/n hop in that back seat with her, if anything she was looking forward to this supply run, however the other two passengers couldn't say the same.

Mel always tried to brush off the fact that she hated how much she made Abby smile - purely because she hated to see Abby so happy in the first place. "I don't have an opinion on her, she's just a good fighter," she'd shrug and turn her nose up. Manny (surprisingly) was on Mel's team in terms of Y/n as well. Though it brought him great joy to see Abby laugh and carry on, Y/n was Abby's greatest distraction and therefore there were a lot more mistakes made than there needed to be. They were a better duo when they were safe inside the stadium, but more of a disaster in terms of a combat. Needless to say, the job always got done and that's all that mattered at the end of the day.

The terrain was rocky and bumpy as always as Manny sped down what was left of the roads. He slowed to a stop at an old warehouse that had yet to be picked through since the Seraphites always patrolled it so heavily, but after finding out their schedule the WLF was able to find a time to squeeze in and sweep the place. And since that time window was so small, Mel urged the two giggling friends to stay behind and keep watch.

"What the hell Mel?" Abby protested while tugging on the door handle.

Mel stepped over to Y/n's window, "Stay here, we'll only be a few minutes."

"Yeah but you didn't have to lock - fuck." Abby scoffed and turned to her friend, "What if there's an emergency and they get ambushed?!"

Y/n slumped in her seat and rolled her head toward Abby, "Obviously they're betting on no one showing up. Just relax."

Abby rolled her eyes, "You're fucking kidding me right?"

"Couldn't be more serious babe."

And at that Abby's pretty freckled cheeks burned a soft crimson. Her mind fell fuzzy while her palms began to sweat against her rifle. She broke the tense eye contact and darted her gaze around the vehicle.

"They're... they're not doing this very smart." she continued, but Y/n had tuned it out and was completed infatuated with the way she had made Abby crumble.

Daringly she took a step further by inching closer and nonchalantly resting an palm over Abby's gorgeously massive thigh. It wasn't hard to miss the way the blonde's breath got caught in her throat - adorable. She lazily drew circles on the rough fabric and gazed up to Abby.

"You're so tense, what's got your panties in a bunch all the sudden?" Y/n teased and didn't bother to suppress the shit eating grin on her face.

Abby swallowed the spit pooling in her mouth. Though she was a blushing, sweating mess, she was absolutely loving every moment of this. Should she entertain it?

Abby softly shook her head and forced herself to stare out the window. This was surely just Y/n being her flirtatious, silly self.

Then her hand came up and squeezed softly on Abby's exposed bicep. It was like she was holding a flame against the hard muscle and lit Abby's entire body on fire. Her thighs pressed together and Y/n's nails dug into her pants. This was overwhelming in all the right ways, but Abby still wasn't sure her intentions.

Her warm breath fanned across the soldier's neck, "I know a thing or two about how to de-stress."

This woman who was known for being the strongest and sturdiest solider quickly felt her heart and mind melting at her friend's words. Just like a flip was switched and she completely folded over. Y/n was nearly foaming at the mouth; it was now or never.

With that she guided Abby's beautiful features to face her and they shared the most lustful kiss. Of course with the ticking time bomb Abby had been she soaked up every bit of touch Y/n offered her and found herself grabbing and feeling along her body. She had built her up and broke her down to the point where she was nearly feral. Abby loved the way she hated all the teasing.

Of course the strongest tried to settle her place over Y/n, but she wouldn't go down so quickly, after all it was Y/n's idea. She pulled away from the intense making out to smirk at her freckled companion and shove her shoulders down against the old leather seats. Again Abby's breathing failed her and left her abruptly while her heart hammered against her chest (not to mention the heat and slick accumulating in her pants).

But before the fun could continue Abby was struck with reality, "We're really gonna fuck here? What if someone sees?"

What a ridiculously question, Y/n thought.

"All the better."

Before Abby's rational could put up a resistance Y/n was earnestly working to remove Abby's cargo pants. Time was of the essence and both of them were well aware of that, but the desire swirling inside the car was just too overpowering to be ignored or interrupted.

The fighter laughed mockingly seeing the wet spot that had shamelessly formed on Abby's panties, "You're so fucking perfect." As expected the praise went straight to the blonde's core before even reaching her brain.

Y/n was ravenous and hasty in her approach. She nipped and licked and kissed all along those thighs she had dreamed to be between for an embarrassingly long time - it really was a dream come true. Then the underwear were ripped down her legs, thighs pressed open and against her strong torso, and Y/n's tongue went to work.

"Ah!" Abby cried out and smacked a hand over her mouth. All Y/n could do was laugh.

The goal: do whatever it took to make her cum as quickly as possible. Mel and Manny could be sprinting out those doors any second and there wouldn't be time to redress.

"Mmm fuck.." Y/n groaned and continued her ministrations.

Abby found herself trying not to shoot up to cloud nine, reaching and grabbing at whatever she could to give her a sense of reality. It was like she had the wind knocked out of her and each time Y/n's swirled her tongue deliciously over her clit a spell was casted on her. It was hopeless, Abby was hopeless, there was no way she was lasting very long.

And she didn't last very long, because in an instant that hot coil in Abby's abdomen snapped, her eyes rolled back into her head and she was crying into her hand. Y/n was elated when her lips, chin, neck, and chest were gushed on and drenched, in turn fueling her to work more fervently until Abby couldn't take it.

Those famous thighs began to tremble and Abby breathlessly begged Y/n to stop and tried squirmed away. How she wanted to continue to feast on her until she was an absolute mess of a person, but their circumstances were not in their favor and Abby was incredibly embarrassed at the fact she had squirted for her first time. Needless to say it was one of the most intense orgasms she had experienced to date but she never knew that would be the result.

Of course Y/n being the lady she was, cleaned up the mess she had made on Abby with her tongue, not missing a spot. The taste was unforgettable and her next mission was to get this wonder of a woman in her bunk. But for now they needed to get her dressed and Y/n's shirt changed.

Almost as if on cue, Y/n finished tugging a new shirt over her torso as Mel and Manny came darting from the warehouse, tossing the supplies in the trunk and throwing themselves into their seats.

"Everything okay?" Y/n wondered as Manny began to tear out of the scene.

"One of 'em saw us so we're leaving before we get ambushed. How were things out here?" Mel turned in her seat.

Abby instantly became flustered and her gaze retired to the window.

"Couldn't have been better." Y/n smirked.

#abby anderson x reader #abby anderson #abby anderson smut

241 notes · View notes

fand0m-obsess3d-g33k · 3 years

Text

Secrets and Seduction (Tammy x Reader)

Summary: You’re asked last minute to babysit for Tammy when some unplanned events take place which leads to an even more unexpected situation. You’re long awaited dream is about to become a reality.

Words: 3,348

Warnings: NSFW (just cunnilingus)

Author’s note: I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. This is my first shot at writing anything smut related so please comment or message me any feedback! It’s much appreciated!!! Also I just wanted to extend a thank you to everyone who liked/reblogged Confessions with Cordelia, it really means a lot. I’m done talking now, enjoy darlings! Mwah!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was Saturday afternoon when you received a text from the docile blonde who was secretly the subject of most of your thoughts these days. You knew it was wrong especially since you were quite a bit younger than her however, ever since Tammy’s inconsiderate asshole of a husband left, you couldn’t get her off your mind.

Hey Y/N, I know that it’s last minute but I just got a called in. Would you be willing to babysit Keri tonight?

Of course, Tam Tam, I’d love to! What time do you need me? Even though you shouldn’t your mind drifted to other situations where she may need you but you shook it off before hitting send.

Oh Y/N, are you sure it’s not an inconvenience? I don’t want to cut into any plans you may have!

C’mon Tam Tam, you know I never have plans and even if I did, I’d gladly drop them to help you out. :)

Well as long as you’re sure. Could you get here by 4:00?

Done and done! See you then! :)

You looked at the time...3:00. An hour to get ready, you had to look nice in front of Tammy even if it was only for a little bit. You went up and grabbed your favorite burgundy dress as your mind reminded you that Tammy complimented it the one time she saw you wear it. It had sheer lace quarter length sleeves and fell to just about the knees. You brush your knotted Y/H/C mane before adding some winged black liner and mascara. You completed the makeup with some deep reddish-brown matte lipstick. Before exiting and heading out into the fall air, you throw your black pea coat and flats on.

When you arrived, you noticed the blonde carrying heavy duffel bags to the trunk of the car to which you rush over to take a couple from her hands. Tammy releases a sigh of relief before heaving the bags into the trunk with a loud thump. She was breathing heavily from the exertion; her hair was slightly tousled from sweat and trying to rush around yet she still looked breathtaking as always. You felt your mouth go dry as your mind started wandering to other moments when she would look like this.

“Y/N? Y/N!” Tammy shouts snapping you out of your daydream. Her hand coming to rest on your shoulder, the touch gives off heat so intense you feel it through your rather thick coat. “Are you alright sweetheart?”

“Y-yeah Tam Tam, I’m sorry I was just thinking, you know how I get.” A nervous laugh escapes your mouth making her giggle. Her hand giving your shoulder a squeeze before releasing it, she opened her mouth like she had something to say but was interrupted by her cell phone ringing.

“Yes...yes. I’m leaving now Lou, see you in a bit. Bye.”

You tense up when you hear Lou’s name leave the beautiful woman’s lips. You knew they worked together, granted you didn’t know what they did for work but early on you decided that was none of your business. If Tammy was happy you weren’t going to pry. Lou was at a party that Tammy had once, she seemed really nice nevertheless you had a sense of distaste towards the other blonde when you realized she was rather handsy. This fact too was none of your business since Tammy was not yours to claim but you couldn’t help being bitten by envy. It wasn’t known if the mother was interested in women yet if she was your mind knew that Lou would have a way better shot than you would, it hurt. The blonde shut the trunk before giving you a quick hug.

“Thanks, so much Y/N, I owe you breakfast. Stay the night if you don’t have any plans tomorrow. I’ll see you later tonight!”

“See you!” You yell back as she drives off with the window down waving at you.

It was about 7:30 and you had put Keri to bed after your hours of making food for you both, painting her nails and dancing around ridiculously around the living room. The little girl was so adorable that you could never be upset when she was around. As you stood in the doorway watching her little form sleep for a minute before switching off the light your mind flashed back to a time six months into babysitting the little cutie. It was a night you just happened to hang out at the house because Tammy invited you for dinner as a thank you for your help.

“Looks like someone was sleepy.” You whispered to Tammy in the kitchen, pointing to the little girl’s body passed out across the couch. The gentle mother came in bending down to pick her daughter up, you stuck your arm out to stop her. “I got her.”

You carried her up to her room, while Tammy finished up the last dish that was in the sink from dinner. Carefully you made it up the stairs into the girl’s room to tuck her sleeping form in, she stirred a bit as you told her goodnight and kissed her forehead.

“Goodnight, love you Y/N.” The girl mumbled sleepily before turning over to continue sleeping.

Your eyes were wide and your heart swelled. It was the sweetest thing ever, you realized Tammy thought so as well because when you got to the doorway she was standing off to the side. A beaming white smile lit up her face and a single tear was rolling down her cheek. You look to her with furrowed brows as if to ask ‘are you okay?’. As if reading your mind, she wiped the tear away and nodded smiling even wider before you both headed back downstairs.

Just to give Tammy an update you texted her real quick to tell her Keri was asleep in her bed. After an hour passed with still no sign of the older woman so you snuggled up on the couch and switched-on Netflix and decided to watch Carol. It was one of your favorites and since the older woman was running late you figured there was no harm, she probably wouldn’t be back for a couple hours. Before the movie even started you heard the front door open and you frantically searched for the remote. Where in the hell did you put the remote? It was too late to change it, Tammy was already in the door, kicking off her shoes and walking over to you by the time you found the controller and were only able to pause the movie. The blonde doesn’t pay much attention to your frantic actions and proceeds to enter the kitchen while apologizing for being late and not being able to text you with a time frame like she usually did.

“It’s okay. I know you get busy.” You say shrugging.

“Would you like to have a drink with me? It’s been a long night.” Clinking of glasses came from the kitchen and you get up to join her, this wasn’t the first time you’d joined her for a glass of wine or two.

“Sure!”

Tammy caught sight of your outfit for the first time that night as it was previously covered up by your coat on your arrival. Her mouth went dry as she took in your appearance and she was mesmerized, wine glasses all but forgotten for the moment.

“Tam Tam...Tammy the wine!” You say louder to get her attention as the red liquid continued to overflow the glass making it spill onto the counter top.

She looked down; eyes wide as she said ‘shit’ under her breath. You rushed over and grabbed the roll of paper towels that she was frantically looking for. After you were both done cleaning up the mess, she looked up at you with flushed cheeks, wiping the sweat from her palms on her shirt. “You look lovely Y/N.”

It was your time to blush while avoiding her gaze as you thanked her quietly. She offers you the glass that she didn’t overflow while she herself bent down to the glass and slurped the liquid from the rim of the glass until it was low enough to pick up and carry to the living room. With the remote in hand, you were getting ready to quickly switch Carol off until she interrupted you.

“I’d love to watch a movie. What were you going to watch?”

Your cheeks get hot once again. “Carol. We don’t have to watch that though we can watch whatever you want.”

She seems to ponder the title while she sets her glass down on the coffee table. “Oh, I’ve never heard of that movie I’d love to watch it! Go ahead and start it up and I’ll make us some popcorn, how does that sound?”

Like I’m going to want to crawl into a hole to wallow in my embarrassment. You thought.

“Sounds great!”

The movie starts playing and you practically shove popcorn in your mouth with every Therese and Carol scene. The next time you try to reach into the bowl you were shocked to feel soft skin against yours, you both pull your hands back slightly before taking turns grabbing more popcorn. After Tammy’s second glass of wine was gone you noticed she sat down closer to you on the couch now right up against your side actually now that the popcorn was gone. The bowl forgotten on the coffee table along with your finished glasses. You were relieved that the wine had helped you relax a bit, the blonde hadn’t seemed to mention anything about the two women interacting on screen which you took as a good sign. The perfume scene was now playing on the screen and you swallowed hard still a little nervous that the woman beside you will question you or comment. Instead, you feel a soft hand land on your knee before she copied Therese from the film, leaning in and nuzzling her nose into the side of your neck under your ear. She breathes in your perfume; it was her favorite you guessed since she typically always commented you when you wore the fruity scent.

“Hmm...you always smell so wonderful Y/N.” Tammy whispers.

Thankfully she turns her head and continues watching the movie that is until the Waterloo scene comes on making you shift in your seat a bit. You’re watching a lesbian sex scene with your very straight crush! How could you not squirm? Why did you agree to watch this with her you idiot? Because you can’t say no to her the other side of your brain rationalizes. With the internal questions reeling in your head, you don’t realize that Tammy’s face got closer again until you hear her speak.

“Are you getting a little hot and bothered sweetheart?” She purrs in your ear making you shiver at the low octave of her voice. “I see the way you look at me Y/N. Do you think about me sweetheart?”

You swallowed hard and your body betrays you by shivering again by the words being whispering in your ear. The light graze of unbelievably soft lips against your ear lobe.

“Yes.” You breathe out.

“Look at me Y/N,” You do as she says, her expression absolutely serious, “if you feel uncomfortable tell me okay?”

You quickly nod your head. This brings a smile to the blonde’s face before she brushes a piece of your Y/H/C hair behind your ear, her thumb caresses your cheek. You subconsciously lean into the touch and release a huge breath that you didn’t realize you were holding. Soft lips ghost over your own testing the waters before coming back for more with more pressure making you moan. You allow your hands to get buried in the golden tresses that you’ve longed so many times to touch bringing her closer to you as you kiss her with the same amount of enthusiasm as she did. Your lips trail along her jawbone to her neck where you kiss and nibble here, a mixture of gasps and moans leave her lips sending heat straight to your core. However, intruding thoughts pushes forward...what about your friendship? Why you? You pull back to look at her.

“I-I’ve wanted this for so long Tam Tam...are you sure you want me? Y-you don’t want Lou?”

In response she turns away from you, your stomach sinking for a minute regretting the questions that flowed from your lips until you see she undid her button of her pants.

“First of all, Lou is with Debbie and no I do not want Lou. Come here Y/N.”

You move closer to her on the couch until you are right beside her; your knees bumping her legs. She gently grasps your wrist and brings it into the waistband of her pants to cup her core through her underwear. Her thoroughly soaked underwear. You gasp shocked not only at the gesture but also at the fact that she was so wet, another shot of heat goes directly to your own core which you were sure was just as wet as hers. You move your fingers over her core just barely touching, she releases a small moan and grinds into your hand for more pressure.

“Is that what I do to you?”

She nods biting her lip and grinding into your hand once more. To Tammy’s dismay you remove your hand before kissing her again, your hands grab the hem of her shirt pulling it off and tossing it aside. If you were being honest you expected nude-colored undergarments, not that you minded because either way this is what you’ve wanted for so long. The subject of your dreams, and fantasies just...Tammy. You were pleasantly surprised to find that her bra was a dusted pink color that looked so beautiful against her pale skin. In an instant after drinking in the sight before you, your lips are all over her pale skin. First her lips, then her neck, from there your lips are everywhere...her collarbone, licking at the parts of exposed breasts that weren’t confined by the bra. Tammy arches her back to which you take this opportunity to reach around and unhook the material, tossing that aside to lay with her discarded shirt.

Tammy watched in awe as she watched your Y/E/C eyes darken in lust before she felt your soft hands caress her perfectly sized B cup breasts. Just the right size to perfectly fit in your warm hands. She gasped when she felt your tongue flick against her nipple before taking her breast into your mouth, sucking on it before releasing it with a pop. All the while shimmying out of her pants as your hands made quick work of simultaneously pulling them down your hips. The blonde’s honey brown eyes met yours, the desire in them matching yours.

“Y/N, you are wearing too many clothes sweetheart.”

The words come out in heavy rasps and you realized you could get used to making Tammy breathless.

“Can you help me out of them Tam Tam?” You ask with the same rasp to your voice.

“I thought you’d never ask.” She leans towards you as you turned around for her to unzip your dress. As she did so you felt the coolness of her knuckles pass over the skin of your back causing you to shudder and gasp. The older woman’s mouth found the same spot and slowly kissed from your shoulder blades up to the side of your neck, prior to slowly dragging the top half of your dress over your shoulders and down to your hips. Her hands drag along the same path afterwards it felt like heaven, it was too good to be real. You needed confirmation as her lips then followed the path, she was everywhere.

“Tell me I’m not dreaming. Tell me this is real.” You breathe out, craning your neck to the left side to give those wonderful lips better access to your pulse point. A nibble to that exact spot made you moan deep in the back of your throat.

“Oh, Y/N this is very real. Stand up please I need to see you.”

Tammy watches with hungry eyes as you do what she says and remove your dress revealing your black bra and panties. The primal look in those honey brown eyes is something you had never seen before however; it was definitely something you wanted to see more of. Her hands grab your hips gently and pull you towards her still seated form on the couch, her long slender fingers hook in either side of the waistband of your panties then slowly peeled the fabric down your legs. The older woman noticed your fingers fidget nervously at your sides as if wanting to cover up, which makes her take action by moving to the edge of the cushion and placing a kiss to the skin above your mound.

The older woman scoots down the couch and lays back flat against the cushions then politely instructing you to straddle her hips. You follow her instructions of then removing your bra and easily follow as her hands press into your back causing your torso to lean forward. Her hands and mouth find your breasts sucking, kissing, and touching the ache in your core grew stronger to the point where you could barely stand it. Tammy must’ve felt your arousal against her hip bone because she grinded her hips up and moaned.

“Come up here please sweetheart.” It took you a second to realize what her words were meaning exactly until your brain processed exactly where she wanted you. You were still hesitant though, no one had ever done that for you what if you didn’t smell or taste good. Tammy’s hands grabbed both of yours intertwining your fingers, the action made your stomach flutter. “Do you trust me?”

You instantly nod. You trusted Tammy more than a lot of people in your life. This made you feel confident enough to let go of hands and climb your way up her body finding your balance on your knees straddling the beautiful woman’s face. A kiss is placed against your clit making you jump slightly. Within seconds you felt the older woman’s tongue on your pussy swiping through your folds before coming to suck on your clit. Your legs started to quiver but then you whimper in disappointment when you feel the lips release the sensitive bud.

“Tammy.” You whine.

“Not yet.” You hear her mutter softly.

“Tammy please.” You whine again this time looking directly into her eyes. This is her weak spot, just like you, she never wanted to deny you anything.

“Just remember you need to be quiet. Can you do that?”

“Y-yes...yes just please Tam Tam, let me cum for you.”

A moan leaves the beautiful lips below you before you feel the long thick tongue attacking your pussy again swiping through your lips once again before entering slowly into your soaking wet core. You had to bite your lip hard in between your teeth to keep your moans and screams at bay, her tongue was so talented as it filled you and hit the sensitive spot inside your walls. Fingers started rubbing your clit in quick, tiny circles, you looked down at her with your mouth open wanting to scream but thankfully no words escaped. Your Y/E/C eyes met hers and that was your undoing. Your thighs spasmed, pussy walls clenching against the warm, talented tongue belonging to the most beautiful woman. It was the most intense orgasm you’d ever had.

Tammy quickly cleaned up every drop of your arousal moaning at the taste until you came down from your high. Moments later you laid there for a moment in each other's arms breathing heavily, feeling her fingers draw little patterns on your back.

“Can I taste you Tam Tam?” You asked quietly.

She smiled like a cat that caught a canary and kissed you passionately before sitting up.

“Grab the clothes and follow me upstairs sweetheart.”

#tammy x reader #tammy robinson #ocean's eight #lesbian #imagine #sarah paulson

210 notes · View notes

holycalf · 3 years

Note

i started watching sku bc of your blog (and i really enjoy it!) but i dont get why you seem to like shiori but not ruka....i mean it seems like his intentions were a lot better than hers ever were tbfh am i missing something? not saying he went about things GREAT but....at least he actually seemed to care. shiori was just a bitch for the sake of being a bitch it seemed like...

hi! im glad ure enjoying it! it can definitely be a lot at times, and i think the first 12 eps can rub ppl the wrong way so props to u for getting thru those (even tho i liked em :) ) this is gonna be long so if u feel like reading an essay feel free to read under the cut

um.. i dont really know where to begin tbh? i mean you cant really talk about any of these characters without talking abt the other two so.... this is gonna be long.

so lets take shiori, who has a very classic case of internalized homophobia. which is confirmed by ikuhahras outtake on ep. 17 which states the following

“I finally realized the truth. To think that she loved me back! What a miracle! But...‘The loser in love is the one who lets their heart be ruled by it.’Everyone's adopted a provocative attitude toward someone of the opposite sex that they like at least once or twice, to get that person to notice them. So it's okay if I do that.This love will crumble if we touch. But when people don't touch, the love eventually dies away .That's why I decided to keep your love prisoner. To make sure that you love me forever. That game will make our love ‘eternal.’ I'm sure of it.We were ‘lovers lost from the beginning.”

so shioris in love with juri. im not sure if thats something u caught onto or not but its definitely the quintessence of her character, and needs to be considered when we consider her against ruka- since its a shared affection. also, i just like shiori, i dont necessarily think shes GOOD i just enjoy watching her and she feels very raw. shiori has a crippling inferiority complex, you can even tell through off handed conversations with her friends in hallways she exaggerates her stories to be more liked. juri is someone who has things come easy to her, and doesnt even really seem to care or notice. in the shows canon shes: liked by the student body, liked by teachers, admired by men (and girls too), academically inclined, good at bowling, captain of fencing club (and likely the most talented duelist- since shes the only one utena never properly beats) and a MODEL?????????? and shiori, at least in her own eyes, is painfully mundane. growing up next to someone who seems to have everything go in their favor, all of the while youre harboring having feelings for them (and jealous that youre among SO many suitors) is so frustrating! especially when you dont believe to have any at all. the elevator sequence when she discovers juris locket is a bit of a power trip for shiori, and also just a sort of confusion. shioris “why do you look at me like that?!” when she considers juri mid breakdown is a clear reflection of her own confusion, she may as well be saying “how could you possibly love me?”...but that was the black rose arc which all got undone anyways- so by the time we see shiori ruka arc she doesnt even know juris got the hots for her. when she first sees ruka, shes staring at juri first and only zeroes in on ruka once she hears people talking abt him. she takes ruka the same way she did that boy in middle school because he seems to be something coveted by the girls around her, its a very closeted gay girl move to decide to go for a boy just because other girls are into him... and it definitely helps that hes in such close contact w juri...he could easily be the one stored in that locket of hers, so why not take him?

so then we have ruka, who the entire time we watch him is smug, condescending, and genuinely one of the most unpleasant characters on the show. by the end we learn hes in love with juri, so maybe this persona was embellished to push her towards revolution to “free her from shiori” or whatever but.... sorry i dont care LOL! the way he treated shiori ALONE was enough for me to dislike him, there was NO need to tear apart and embarrass the girl like that. he took clear advantage of her crush on juri. his locker is seen right next to juris, and shiori is pressed up against one of the two lockers, but we arent shown which, “after all, that wasnt my sword,”....he knows shiori has been going to juris locker (and potentially polishing her sword but who knows. all we know is that she goes to juris locker.) and it is later revealed hes extra certain of her feelings because upon publically dumping her (another dick move) we hear her kinda stutter “I love you more than.... I love you more than anyone else” shes clearly beating around a bush because theyre in public, hes pinpointed she and juri are both into eachother, and instead of being a normal ass guy about it and just SETTING THEM UP and telling them to work their stuff out he chooses to, “out of love” assault juri, emotionally manipulates the girl juri is in love with, then inadvertantly cause juris locket to break which upsets her so deeply she forfeits her duel with utena. and upon that locket breaking he has the AUDACITY to think hes somehow freed her from something... when the girl is breaking down crying in the rain (the first and only time we ever see juri cry...even if its implied she does it in the shower that one time lol).......then just???dies??? like all he does in his time on the show is cause problems and die, all because he couldnt get over his feelings for a lesbian.... it just feels SO gross to me that he hides his assault and general abuse (can we talk abt how he likely took shioris virginity, JUST to break her down???) behind some icky hero complex

PLUS we see shiori at the end of that episode realize shes in that locket while juri is dueling, and we see her run up to juri at the end of the ep and it doesnt look malicious, it feels very...resolutiony? esp when you put it next to the miki/kozue closing scene of their car arc duel, which is explicitly bad terms, this feels more hopefully....suggesting some part of shiori has at least changed. ruka never got that luxury, he completely exploited two girls in order to add dramatic flare to his last few days and felt valid in doing so..... shiori never seemed to think her actions were JUSTIFIED.....which is sort of the point of the black rose arc where shiori is arguably at her worst........... the very ugliest part of ppl are brought out in those elevator sessions so thats what we see of shiori?

sorry for the essay!! but i hope this helps and make sense :-) feel free to ask any more questions u have abt the show, and i hope u continue enjoying it! im assuming ure still watching it, i dont know how far u are but if u JUST finished 29 then that means ure getting to some of my fave episodes! (33,37,39 :) )

tl,dr: shiori never assaulted anyone

5 notes · View notes

onemistresstorulethemall · 4 years

Text

Reading Session

Originally posted on ao3.

The book mentioned does exist, but it's really explicit, so beware.

To: @reahaelll Your wish is my command 💕

Nsfw, F!Mc

You grabbed your book and headed to Satan's room. You agreed to a reading session as he confessed he would like to know more about human world authors and well, more about your taste in literature. Because the purpose is to learn new information, he specifically asked of you not to bring any classics, because chances are he already knows their work. You complied and brought something more unheard of, more controversial. You picked Juliette by Marquis de Sade. Hopefully the book was dark enough for the Avatar of Wrath.

With the book in hand you knocked on his door. After a few moments it opened and you were greeted with a familiar smile.

"Ah, there you are! Glad you could make it in time.", the blond demon invited you into his layer.

You realized he had made tea for the both of you. If you didn't know better you wouldn't be able to tell he was, in fact, the embodiment of Wrath.

You sat yourself on the bed followed by Satan. His legs were spread and you sat between them, your back pressed against his chest, while his chin rested on the top of your head.

"What are we reading today, y/n?", he cheerfully asked.

"I picked Juliette for today!", you showed him the cover of the book.

Once he saw the cover and read the author, he giggled a bit. But before you got the chance to ask why, he added:

"Well, we shouldn't waste time. Let's get to reading!"

You obeyed and opened the book. Your reading sessions consisted in one of you reading aloud from a book. It was usually you because Satan liked to hear your voice. So far you have discovered his favourite demon authors and you brought some books from the human world of which he had never heard before.

Within the first pages of the book you already found yourself reading sex scenes. You had an idea what this book was about, but you didn't necessarily know it was going to be all sex and sin. The sex scenes happened between so called nuns which made everything even more sinful. You brushed it off, in your head, thinking it was the right book to read to a demon.

If you were on your own, it wouldn't have affected you so badly, but being into the demon's arms, feeling his chest move as he breathe while having to read aloud lesbian sex scenes between "women of God" made you feel hot and bothered.

You took a small break to drink a bit of the tea Satan prepared for you. Your throat was getting dry. Also, you needed to stop for a second and get your act together.

"I didn't know you are into this, y/n", his voice was lower than usual and his tone more seductive, "You should've told me sooner, we could've had a lot of fun.", he pulled you into a tight embrace.

"I-it's just a book...", you stuttered sounding unconvincing.

"Do you know what the Marquis de Sade is famous for?", he genuinely asked.

You shook your head, unaware.

"The term 'sadism' comes from his name.", he giggled but it sounded quite dark, "Great choice there, y/n, reading a book from the father of sadism to the Avatar of Wrath. What are you hoping to achieve?"

"Look, Satan, I d-didn't mean t-to..."

He grabbed your throat gently, turned your head to the side and upwards, so you faced him. His eyes were gleaming, but it sent shivers downs your spine. His sweet smile meant nothing but the fact that he was holding in the rage that could turn the world upside down.

"You want to tell me that you brought in a book without even knowing anything about it? How are you supposed to learn if you don't inform yourself?"

"I-I'm sorry..."

"No need to apologise", he let go of your throat and flashed you a radiant smile, "Let's just get back to reading!"

You sigh in relief and go back to reading the obscenities illustrated in the book. Soon enough you felt a pair of warm hands caressing your body. You stopped reading and gasped in surprise. The demon lifted your top and exposed your lacy f/c bra.

"Keep going, y/n.", he whispered into your ear and he rubbed circles around the visible parts of your chest.

You obeyed, not wanting to make the demon angry. Well, angrier than usual. Stuttering and gasping from time to time, you continued to read. Your core started to tingle and you felt your panties getting soaked under your skirt.

"My, my, what am I going to do with you? I asked you here so we could both delve into a deeper understanding of the world, but instead you leave my thirst for knowledge unsatisfied... It pains me to say this, but y/n, you have to be punished.", his voice echoed into your mind long after he finished saying those words.

You zoned out for a moment and found yourself bent over Satan's knees with your skirt lifted and your butt out in the open. He started touching you gently, caressing you, kissing the small of your back and when you relaxed and got comfortable enough...he spanked you. A moment of break. No touch at all. And than another spank. He trailed his fingers down your spine, gently and then he spanked you again.

Although he only did it three times, taking into account his -although controlled- inhuman strength, it was enough to make your bottom red. You felt his hand move and you flinched out of instinct, but his hand made no contact with your skin. Instead, you heard laughter.

"You're just so easy to play with, y/n. It's almost impossible to resist..."

"It's not like that..."

He stopped for a moment. The silence was uncomfortable and you laid there, on his knees, awaiting his next move.

"You're right. How rude of me. You came here to read and reading is what you shall do."

With a swift motion he took off your underwear and helped you up.

"What do you think you're doing!?", you asked shocked.

"You ask too many questions, princess~"

The sound of his voice calling you princess made you melt and go on with whatever Satan had in plan for you. It was completely and utterly irresistible.

He tapped on the bed signing you to sit down. When you did, he handed you the book and ordered you to read. When you started doing so, the blond demon spread your legs and began tasting your dripping wet core.

"I can't fucking r-read like t-this, Satan...", you whined.

Like he couldn't even hear you, he kept going, giving you agonizingly slow and long licks, followed by him sucking on your sensitive spot. However, he made sure to get his point across by digging his fingernails into your thighs ever so slightly. The pain felt so good it made you moan in the middle of reading a sentence. That was the moment when he finally stopped.

"I truly refuse to believe that the line went like that", he smirked, "You're more pathetic than I thought. Can't read a book to save your life... Oh well, I guess I can still put that mouth to good use."

He climbed on top of you, took the book from your hands and placed it gently next to the bed. After that, his whole focus was on you, kissing you passionately, tangling his fingers through your hair. At some point he broke off the kiss, unzipped his pants and came closer to you. His member was centimeters away from your mouth.

"Open your mouth.", he ordered and you executed.

In an instant his lengthy thick cock was shoved into your mouth. Slowly, at the beginning, but his pace became faster and rougher and soon enough he was grabbing a fistful of your hair as he was skullfucking you into oblivion. You had tears falling down your cheeks and saliva was dripping down your chin onto your neck. Eventually, he stopped and pulled away, letting you finally catch your breath.

"You're a good toy, y/n, I'll give you that.", he said in an almost mocking tone.

He backed away and stood on the bed on his knees before grabbing your hips and pulling you closer. He lifted you up until your hole was on the same level as his member. He eased into you, holding your thighs so you don't fall.

As he moved faster, his nails dug into your skin, making you scream. You wished to keep quiet, but you couldn't contain yourself. It was all too much. Craving release, you reached out and started rubbing your swollen nub and Satan continued to talk dirty to you.

"Such a desperate needy little slut... I asked you here to read, but now it's clear that you were thirsting for something else..."

He continued to mock you as his nails were still into your skin and his cock was continuously hitting deep and hard into you. The stimulation from the penetration and your own attempt at finding release got you into a critical point.

"Satan, I'm gonna..."

"Beg, princess~"

Your eyes widened, but you swallowed your pride and added:

"I'm begging you, ah fuck, please... Ugh, please, Satan, let me cum!"

He giggled, but told you that you're allowed and quite frankly, that's all you needed to hear. The moment you heard his words of approval, your hand moved faster, your eyes rolled into the back of your head, your moans got louder and your legs started shaking. Even for a demon, it was a bit of a struggle to keep your legs in place.

Soon after, Satan pulled out of you, letting you sink into the mattress as he rubbed his cock above your tummy. In a few moments his semen coated your abdomen. Following his own climax, the demon crashed next to you on the bed and kissed your forehead.

"Bring this book for our next reading session as well, won't you?", he smirked.

#satan obey me #obey me! shall we date?#shall we date satan #shall we date #one master to rule them all #smutty #the smuttier the better #smut

145 notes · View notes

butterbeeryuta · 4 years

Text

Backasswards

solar x reader | idol!yongsun au | smut, light fluff | 2.3 k

warning: profanity, lesbian sex, reader is actually cute af but has their nasty side too so basically park jimin

Yeah, that was your girlfriend dancing to ‘Yummy’ by Justin Bieber.

Now, you do not exactly like that song, but because Yongsun was dancing to it, and she looked absolutely delectable, so who were you to complain. Her well-defined hips were swaying back and forth, body fluidly moving along with the music, hitting every beat possible in the song. Then there was that specific scene in the video where she and Hyojung touching each other on the floor, slowly bringing back memories three nights ago when you and your girlfriend were roughly grinding on each other. You were used to seeing Yongsun wearing revealing clothing since she did pole dancing and all, and from your rather naughty actions, but this specific set of clothes made you bothered in a good way. Very bothered. The white cloth laying above her breasts could easily be removed with a swipe of your hand, only to reveal her dusty pink nipples, begging to be sucked by your plump lips. Her flawless skin, almost yearning for you to paint it with your teeth, leaving purple and red flowers to be scattered across. Various unspeakable scenes ran through your mind, and to say that you were not wet would be a lie. You were needy. Very needy. You needed relief. You want her to be home, help you reach your high. She was at the studio though. Although she told you she will come back at seven in the evening, you doubt if you could make it in the next two hours.

Your hands slid underneath your sweats, only to feel the damp patch in between your legs, immediately causing you to let out the dirtiest sounds. The little nub was easily found in between your fingers, and you begin to imagine it was your girlfriend’s hands putting you back to your place by torturing that little clit of yours. You knew you were not suppose to touch yourself, Yongsun just does not like it knowing she can bring you to pleasure so many times. Then again, you were an actual brat, and you liked to test her patience. Yes, you are the submissive one in the relationship, but can you really blame yourself when you girlfriend was moving her body like that? A smirk slowly formed on your lips, knowing exactly what to do to make your girlfriend come home quicker. You retrieved your hand, pushing the grey sweats and panties down your legs. You immediately stripped off your tank top, leaving you only in a silk coral bra as the cold air brushed against your bare hole. You took your phone, snapping a picture of yourself as your spread your glistening folds, one of the straps of your bra falling off your shoulder.

Click.

Like an excited little child, you quickly sent the picture to your girlfriend, eager to wait for her response with your imagination thinking all sorts of possibilities.

Ding.

Squirtle: Film yourself. Go touch yourself for me bby.

What?

That was the last thing you expected to come out of her. She was supposed to be angry. She was supposed to be furious with you. Then again, you still complied with her request, submitting to her as usual. Without hesitation, you placed your phone against your piled up sheets, showing your bare state clearly, you hot cavern being the centre of attention. Pressing the red button, your hands naturally slid down your torso, touching the little nub so gently, yet the pleasure was immense. Your hands gradually moved quicker, increasing the speed of your hands against your clit, your damp chest heaving up and down as soft whimpers left your swollen lips from all the biting you did. Your free hand pulled one of the cups down, exposing your breast that was begging to escape from the clothed material.

‘Y-Yongsun’ you softly moaned as your slowly entered your damp fingers in your hot cavity, your tender walls hugging your two fingers tightly. A sigh of relief escaped your throat, your fingers eventually having a mind of its own, furiously pumping in and out of your hole. Your eyes were closed, your brain only thinking of your girlfriend, thinking of all sorts of things, or punishments per se. Maybe she will deny your orgasm multiple times with her slender fingers, or her warm tongue, or perhaps her core rubbing against yours harshly as her fingers wrap around your throat, reminding you where you belong in the relationship. A knot slowly began to form in your lower abdomen, your hips unconsciously rising, meeting each and every thrust of your fingers. Your mind drifted back to the video of Yongsun dancing to the arguably crappy song, but most importantly, your mind focused on her attire and how her body swayed to the music, enough to bring you to your climax. In an instant, a high pitched moan left your mouth, your legs trembling vigorously as your chest was heaving heavily, trying to breathe in and out. Your eyes reopened, your phone still filming the filthiest shit you have done so far, yet you did not mind it. You pulled your fingers out of your greedy little hole, whining in annoyance that you were not full anymore. There was nothing else to see except for the sticky essence left all of your fingers, begging to be cleaned off. Going closer to the camera, your brought your ruined fingers up to your mouth, making the most lewd sounds as you taste your own release, eyes staring directly into the camera; and finally, you stopped the video.

Smiling like a complete idiot, you sent the video immediately to Yongsun without cropping it whatsoever, wanting her to see everything raw. But as of now, you wait.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yongsun had just finished filming with an English teacher for her YouTube channel, which was doing rather great. Yongsun knew you were very supportive of her channel, and she was honestly very happy with your reaction. After saying her goodbyes to the crew, she reached for her phone to ask you if you wanted anything before she reached home, just like she always did.

homo girlfriend has sent an attachment.

Tilting her head slightly, she innocently tapped on the attachment, not knowing what you send.

You were fucking naked. You were extremely wet. What the fuck.

She did not know what exactly to feel. Of course, a rush of warmth was felt between her legs, but was she going to punish you? Yongsun had a long day today, and she really just wanted to have some food with you and sleep. That may not be the plan anymore though. Smirking, she messaged you to send a video of you touching yourself. Just to make things more heated the moment your girlfriend finally reaches home.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

‘Alright, your ass better be in bed’ a familiar voice said, soon followed by the sound of the door closing. Smiling like a fool, you immediately prepared yourself on your shared bed, fully bare from head to toe. Yongsun did not say anything after you sent that video, and that honestly made you quite nervous. If not, you felt a sense of regret. You are usually not the type to send such provocative images or clips to Yongsun mainly because she tells you not to as she is in charge of the bedroom. Aside from that, you also sometimes feel that your privacy may be invaded because who knows, perhaps the government in watching you. You getting off by your fingers may not be the first thing your personal FBI wants to see. Before you can think of anything else that can possibly ruin the mood with your theory on the lack of privacy in the modern world, your girlfriend was there your shared room in a black cropped top and low raise jeans, clearly showcasing her toned stomach.

‘My, my, and here you are naked. Though, I was sort of expecting that. You were very needy today, huh?’ She asked, slowly coming towards your naked body. Looking up at your girlfriend with big puppy eyes, you nodded eagerly in response, ready to receive whatever punishment she had in mind with you. Yongsun just chuckled at your state. She literally could do anything right now, and you would most likely comply to her.

‘I honestly would have be spanking you right now, and I know how much you love that, but I am quite tired today. Your little picture and video made me very horny you know. Anyways, I want you to sit on my face while you finger me, can you do that for me babe?’ She asks, finally sitting on top of your naked form, your eyes directly meeting each other. You rubbed your inner thighs against each other, whispering a yes against your girlfriend’s pink lips. Yongsun smiled, finally closing the gap between your lips, tasting each other for the first time today. Your lips naturally melted against hers, the heat between the two of you further intensifying. Your hands dragged down her upper body until the end of her top, lifting it up to reveal those breasts that you were begging to see and taste from that dance video. As if Yongsun read your mind, her lips left yours, standing up as she removes her clothes, leaving her equally bare as you are.

‘Alright enough of that, now come here’ she says, laying down on the spot beside you, licking her bottom lip, anticipating to taste you. You smiled at your girlfriend, finding it somewhat adorable that even after breaking her rules, she still wants to treat you. Sitting up, you faced backwards, giving Yongsun a full view of your back side, slowly placing your left thigh on the other side of her face as your hot cavern is right above her. Without hesitation, your blonde girlfriend pulled you down, her warm velvet immediately making contact with your glistening folds.

‘Oh fuck’ you moaned, feeling every single detail of her tongue playing against your most core. Your hands reached for her breasts, slightly pulling her nipples as you know she likes it. Your moans grew louder and louder as her warm tongue eventually paid attention to your sensitive nub. Yongsun placed your clit between her lips, slightly sucking the little bundle of nerves, causing you to fall down against her torso from the immense pleasure rushing through your already fragile body. Remembering what Yongsun wanted from you, you licked three of your fingers despite your constant whines and moans. Slipping one finger between her wet folds, you felt Yongsun froze against you, shortly followed by a small moan. Smirking, you bent down between her legs, giving kitty licks to her pink nub, only causing her to moan against your pink lips. You added another finger in her hole, pumping more vigorously than before, causing more vibrations against your clit. Both of you were a moaning mess, very soon to reaching your peak.

‘F-fuck keep going Y/N, you can add one more finger babe’ she says, immediately burying her face back into your wet folds, fucking your drenched pussy with her tongue, tasting every single inch of you. Your legs gradually began to shake, a tight knot ready to be untied in your lower abdomen. Removing your lips from her sensitive nub, you began to pump three fingers into her warm walls; the only thing that can be heard is the wet noises from Yongsun’s greedy hole, and the two of your moans blended, rebounding against the four walls of your room.

‘Shit Yongsun I think I’m coming!’ You scream, trying your best to focus on pleasuring your girlfriend. She only deepened her tongue inside of you, and further amplified the pleasure by furiously rubbing your bundle of nerves, enough for you to fall apart. In an instant, you kept your fingers deep inside of her velvety walls as a loud moan erupted from your throat, legs shaking uncontrollably as you slowly moved back and forth against her face. Her tongue lapped up every bit of your sweet essence, enjoying the warm stickiness of your release on the palette of her tongue. Taking a deep breath, as well as realising Yongsun was literally right under you, you quickly got off of her, only to see her lips and chin fully drenched due to your wetness. Yongsun looked at you lovingly, enjoying your fucked out state; your cheeks were flushed, your hair was slightly messy, and your eyes were glossy—you were beautiful and sexy in her eyes.

‘You always taste so good against me’ she says, grabbing her own breasts, one in each hand, as she bites her bottom lip.

‘You know the “Yummy” dance video you did?’ You asked quietly, meticulously watching how her fingers unconsciously pulled her own brown tips.

‘Yeah? Though not gonna lie, I really don’t like that song. The video came out better than I thought though. Why?’ She questions, looking over at your direction.

‘Well, I sort of found it really hot and that’s one of the reasons to why I sort of went haywire and sent you... that’ you confessed, looking down at your lap, unsure of how she will react to it. She instead laughed at your reasoning, finding it quite adorable to how you confessed to why you sent those pictures.

‘Aww Y/N, you can send me anything you want at any time, even if it is a sexy picture or video of you. I miss you all the time with my hectic schedule, so I really don’t mind. I am glad you liked the video though’ she laughs as she responds, waiting to see your flushed face. You smiled at her, glad to know that she still loves and respects you even after your rather naughty actions. Looking back at your girlfriend, she was still playing with her breasts, and you had no idea if she was doing it deliberately.

‘Yongsun?’

‘Yes?’

‘Can I suck your boobs and make you come on my thigh?’ You asked before it was too late. Yongsun smiled at your offer, immediately sitting up from the soft mattress underneath the two of you. It was going to be one long fucking night. Literally.

#mamamoo #kim yongsun #yongsun #solar #solar x reader #yongsun x reader #solar x fem reader #hwasa #ahn hyejin #jung wheein #wheein #moonbyul #moon byulyi #solar smut #mamamoo smut #smut #slight fluff #GAY #oneshot

108 notes · View notes

neopuff · 4 years

Text

OKAY I’ve finished Love Death & Robots, so here’s my short review/summary of each one where I also rate them on accuracy to the show’s title:

"Sonnie's Edge" - excessively violent. setting is neat. animation was cool but watching a lesbian get stabbed and then get her head stomped on repeatedly isn’t fun.

Love Rating 2/10 (there were tits and make outs)

Death Rating 10/10 (plenty of on-screen and an off-screen death)

Robot Rating 8/10 (there was robotic tech but this felt more like futuristic monsters than robots...)

Overall I give it a 4/10

"Three Robots" - really fun! it was funny and charming and cute. animation is nice. Josh Brener and Chris Parnell do some voices...yeah. it was fun!

Love Rating 0/10 (no sex? no romance? alright)

Death Rating 7/10 (no death but lots of skeletons)

Robot Rating 15/10 (robots!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Overall I give it a 9/10, would watch again

"The Witness" - this one is really cool. like, i dont know...its cool, i enjoyed it a lot. the animation is amazing i LOVE the style and the character designs were nice.

Love Rating 8/10 (lots of sex and idk. erotic dancing. lots of tits and bush)

Death Rating 8/10 (yeah. well. yea? not gory but it was there and it happened)

Robot Rating 0/10 (i recall no robots)

Overall I give it an 8/10 only because there were no robots

"Suits" - a LOT better than i expected! animation was cool, story was interesting, characters were lovable. i highly recommend this ep though it is sad its very good.

Love Rating 10/10 (many emotions. no tits and no sex but much love)

Death Rating 10/10 (a good emotional onscreen death. quality storytelling style)

Robot Rating 10/10 (lots of robots!)

Overall I give it a 10/10 but its still not my #1 favorite it just gives you everything the show title says it will

"Sucker of Souls" - ehhh. like the animation was really cool and the cat stuff was funny but overall its just pretty boring? character designs uninteresting story is blaaahhh. best part is Gary but she doesnt make up for how boring the rest is.

Love Rating 0/10 (some cats fuck at one point but thats it)

Death Rating 12/10 (everybody dies)

Robot Rating 0/10 (were there robots???? there were draculas. so many draculas)

Overall I give it a 2/10 but really its just boring

"When the Yogurt Took Over" - this one is fun. i mean, its only 6 minutes long and it was funny and entertaining and the art style is neat so yeah id recommend it to anyone.

Love Rating 0/10 (i recall no love)

Death Rating ?/10 (genuinely cant remember if anyone dies but the economy collapses so thats significant)

Robot Rating ?/10 (i think the yogurt was mutated rather than filled with nanobots soooo...no robots? idk)

Overall I give it a 7/10 cuz it was fun

"Beyond the Aquila Rift" - too confusing to be good and yet also somehow pretty good? animation was nice and pretty. greta is hot. but i dont know, something about it felt like....lazy. the story was lazy.

Love Rating 8/10 (we get tits and sex right on screen)

Death Rating 0/10 (i dont think anyone dies?)

Robot Rating ??/10 (really hard to say. very matrix-y story so whats a robot? whats not? who knows bitch)

Overall I give it a 5/10

"Good Hunting" - :( this one is really sad and violent. theres a lot of tits including i believe on a very young character??? but it wasnt in a sexual context but still kind of uncomfortable. anyway the story is interesting and good but mostly just REALLY sad. theres a scene where you watch a guy saw off a girl’s legs while she screams and even tho it only lasts a brief moment it really gets to you.

Love Rating 10/10 (i know liang and yan dont actually get together but their relationship was really good)

Death Rating 10/10 (plenty of death, thats for sure)

Robot Rating 9/10 (yea! robots! but in a sad way)

Overall I give it an 8/10 because the story is interesting but the girl character just goes through every possible kind of torment and even if things end up alright it still hurts to watch

"The Dump" - i just didn’t really like this one. it was sad and kinda gross and didnt really give me anything to work with. the animation was cool at least.

Love Rating 1/10 (man and pet love? idk)

Death Rating 9/10 (two deaths at least, and one implied animal death? or we see a dead dog? or something? i dont remember)

Robot Rating ???/10 (i mean...is otto a robot? i dont think so??? i dont know)

Overall I give it a 3/10 cuz i didnt like it at all

“Shape-Shifters” - yeah this one should not have been boring but it was. the characters were fine but i feel like US Army stuff just makes my brain turn off (then again, i do love gi joe, so who knows). anyway the werewolf soldier concept i guess could be interesting but, again, it just wasn’t. it sure was sad though.

Love Rating 8/10 (those werewolf soldier boys were kind of, like, pals)

Death Rating 10/10 (lots of death, for suresies)

Robot Rating 0/10 (werewolves are not robots)

Overall I give it a 6/10

"Helping Hand" - so, like, this one is super boring unless you like watching someone floating in space and then ripping their own arm off with realistic crunches and screams. the girl was cute at least.

Love Rating 0/10 (she sure didnt love her arm)

Death Rating 0/10 (she didnt die, so)

Robot Rating 0/10 (no robots!!!!)

Overall I give it a 4/10 cuz the animation is cool and the girls design is good but it had none of what the show title promises

“Fish Night" - this one was cool but weird. Yuri Lowenthal plays a guy who gets eaten by an astral space shark. so i guess theres some anti-shark propaganda but it sure LOOKED cool.

Love Rating 0/10 (i guess old guy and young guy were close but not close enough for me to care)

Death Rating 10/10 (yea)

Robot Rating 0/10 (i mean...there was really cool astral space ocean thing whatever but it wasnt robots)

Overall I give it an 8/10 because i liked it a lot

"Lucky 13" - i wanted to like this one cuz of Samira Wiley but it just wasnt very interesting. it had potential but tbh it just wasnt memorable? i remember how it started and how it ended but nothing in the middle which isnt a good sign.

Love Rating 2/10 (cuz she loves that ship? i guess)

Death Rating 9/10 (yeah. i mean, yeah)

Robot Rating 0/10 (i could be remembering wrong but i have no memory of any robots)

Overall I give it a 5/10

"Zima Blue" - FAAAAAAVE! FAVE FAVE FAVORITE!!!! i fucking LOVE this one i watched it twice cuz i loved it a lot. really really great and it was done in the style of Motorcity/Tron: Uprising which made it even better. a really cool story and just fun to watch and interesting and charming. really really enjoyed it.

Love Rating 10/10 (a love for ART!)

Death Rating 10/10 (two deaths and one was on screen and very sad but non-violent)

Robot Rating 10/10 (yeah!!!!!!)

Overall I give it an 11/10 because i love it and want everyone to see it tbh

"Blindspot" - zzzzzzzzzzz. i mean ok it wasnt terrible but it just wasnt interesting. girl robot’s design is cute at least.

Love Rating 0/10 (some sex jokes but thats it)

Death Rating 9/10 (fake deaths)

Robot Rating 11/10 (yea its 100% robots)

Overall I give it a 3/10 cuz i was bored

"Ice Age" - this one is really funny and charming BUT the animation is almost...TOO realistic? uncanny valley or something. it looked like live action and it was a little weird but its fine cuz it was really really really good and just fun to watch. funny/charming/cute you name it!

Love Rating 7/10 (main couple seems to be in love or whatever but its not relevant to the story)

Death Rating 10/10 (an entire civilization dies and starts over again, so)

Robot Rating 8/10 (i mean...at the end of the civilization there was something robotic going on or something idk it was cool looking)

Overall I give it an 8/10 cuz i just really liked it a lot

"Alternate Histories" - this one is funny!! nothing really special just a bunch of funny shorts about how hitler sucks. a lot of these movies went for a hyper realistic animation style so this one is a nice change of pace.

Love Rating 1/10 (one of the shorts has a lot of fucking but that one was just kind of uncomfortable)

Death Rating 10/10 (how many times can you watch hitler die? a whole bunch)

Robot Rating 4/10 (future hitler appears in a robot suit at the end, so, like, i guess?)

Overall I give it a 7/10 cuz it was funny

"The Secret War" - okay so initially this one was super boring to me but it REALLY kicked it up a notch towards the end. i ended up rewatching it because i wanted to fully take in everything before it got good and yeah i liked it a lot.

Love Rating 8/10 (family love no sex no titties no romance)

Death Rating 16/10 (yeah. its a lot of limbs being ripped off and a guy shoots himself in the head)

Robot Rating 0/10 (there were monsters and airplanes but no robots that i can recall?)

Overall I give it an 8/10 because there were no robots

#love death and robots #love death & robots #carro watches #obviously these are not spoiler free if u havent seen em yet but also the shows been out for a while #almost a year i think #long post

45 notes · View notes

luminisvii · 5 years

Text

Am I losing my shit about fanfiction again? You BET! It’s time for Tell to lose her goddamn mind about some truly awful fanfic! It’s my blog, I get to do what I want! And that’s to talk about how people are more blessed than they believe since they didn’t read this!

Today I’m going to talk about Super Smash Sisters: Damsel to Hero. Given the title uses a word like Damsel in it and it’s rated M, this is going to be GREAT

content warning for well what do you think a horny man on the internet would write ie: cheating, incest, terrible depictions of women being horny, violence (I don’t explain any of this in detail so you’re welcome. but it is mentioned) I’m not linking this thing because you guys don’t deserve this.

It took me forever to finish the entire fic, and I actually wrote most of this before finishing. You may say “Wait a second Tell, you need to fully read the work in order to discuss it!” No I do NOT. Trust me, this doesn’t need to be finished to understand. I needed moral support for this, I couldn’t have possibly read this by myself. I feel really sorry for my poor friends that have to deal with this horse shit with me because it’s kind of got a bit of je ne sai completely godawful. I’m semi tough and can stomach some senseless nonsense pretty nicely, but the real heroes here are my friends for toughing out the rampant sex and terrible female character writing all mixed with Call of Duty plot and characters. You thought this was about Smash Bros? WRONG!

I know exactly jack about the author, Yamagata, other than they are probably some poor horny straight guy in high school or maybe a genius troll. We just don’t know. Either way they were pretty dedicated. The fic itself is 91,621 words and 45 chapters, and apparently on hiatus but we all know hiatus is just another word for dead. It’s better off that way. All good awful fics end on a cliffhanger.

The premise, as the title implies, is that all the men of Smash are kidnapped by nazis or some shit after a failed drug raid and it’s up to all the women to save them of which there are Zelda, Peach, and Samus because this was written in the Brawl era. You might think “Wait, isn’t that not a lot of female characters?” right you are! The author decides to bring in tons of female characters from all sorts of video games and anime. A personal favorite is a major character in this fic is Bright Noah from Gundam, notably not a woman. I love him! I’m disappointed he hasn’t slapped anyone yet! What’s the point of importing Bright Noah into a fanfic if he isn’t going to deliver a Bright Slap? Sorry folks, there’s gonna be me getting distracted about Gundam once in a while.

I can’t remember exactly what happens because the chapters really blur together quickly. They’re almost always first half violence in COD land and second half really bad lesbian sex scenes. See, the title is a misnomer. The women don’t actually do a lot of hero work. It’s still handled by men. Ones who aren’t even from Smash Bros. Bright Noah and another guy called Hargrove who I’m not familiar with are constantly telling the women what to do and while the women sometimes go on missions to fight Nazis or whatever, half the time we’re following some random male characters. A good friend had no idea one of them was Tuxedo Mask because they used his dub name and we spent like ten chapters with this idiot before realizing it was him. They just spend their time fighting different various enemies from real life as opposed to smash. So the guys fight and then the women all fuck because when your boyfriend is missing you have to immediately bang the nearest female out of grief. It’s not cheating if it’s gay! Even worse is there’s a lot of incest because apparently that’s how women act, too. Also for some reason when the women DO fight it plays exactly like the men’s side but with Bright Noah just telling them what to do. Also for some reason Peach just fucking kills people and I’m not really sure how to deal with that. Like, yeah, I guess.

Let’s try to do a plot recap but that’s going to be difficult because I’m not sure what the plot is. Okay, in theory, I do. But we’re just circling around and doing the same thing so many times that I’m plain lost.

In theory, the plot is as mentioned before. The men of Smash get kidnapped and turned to trophies by Nazis. I’m noting that besides Nazis the men are all brutally murdered in order to turn them into trophies. Then it turns out that Samus, Peach, and Zelda are safe because they were at the Smash Mansion cleaning and having sex as princesses and bounty hunters are known to do. Then they find out from Bright that the men have been kidnapped so they have to form a task force against them. So there’s a long ass paragraph of characters, many of which do not have speaking lines until much later anyway, but they’re all female characters from other games or anime. I’m really into Fire Emblem and there’s a bunch of those so time to cry. Bright has to tell these women to stop being so damn emotional and be ready to start murdering.

Also in the first chapter, we have the reveal of the villain, some Tabuu knock-off named Emerald. She too recruits a ton of villainous characters who all introduce themselves AFTER THEY’VE BEEN RATTLED OFF IN PARAGRAPH FORM. You didn’t get it the first time? They’re all going to painstakingly state their name and identity. Admittedly it’s kind of funny to have Cell in a room with Liquid Snake and Ashnard. Also who invited Valtome? They didn’t even invite Zelgius. Maybe our favorite Begnion General figured out that a certain thirsty ass senator was gonna be there and stayed in bed today. Okay, fewer tangents, I promise.

With the establishing of all the villains and heroes, everything instantly turns to shit. Half the time we’re not even following a group who’s connected to the main characters and when we are with the main characters they are either having terrible sex or shooting nazis. This sounds like it’d be funnier than it is but it’s really Grade A Depressing. I can’t tell what’s going on or why and since I have exactly no knowledge of Call of Duty I’m afraid I don’t know anything about our actual protagonists either. Every chapter starts with some pretentious usually WWII related quote and involves some guys dying and then some ladies bonking. It’s the same format every time and after a while I feel like this is some advanced torture method.

Among the bad sex is for some reason moms are banging their elementary school age daughters because their husbands are out. Women are so horny they’d rather fuck their children than wait long enough for their husbands. It’s so messed up. My eyes naturally glaze over on the sex scenes because they’re kind of clinically written and something about cute pussies or whatever. I feel bad for Bright Noah, he has to break up these badly written orgies to talk more about the nonexistent plot. Bright Noah needs a raise. All in all the sex is something that maybe a 13 year old boy might find hot if he hasn’t managed to read all the other way better smut fics out there. If 13 year old boys even do things like that.

Since there’s no way for me to coherently walk through the plot since each scene hardly seems to amount to anything besides either violence or a roll in the hay, I’ll just have to start briefly talking about the few notable things that happen, probably out of order. Who the fuck even knows what chapters these happened in? I sure don’t!

First off, a lot of the women conscripted into the task force have supernatural powers but they’re just given guns. I also think the author has something for Krystal or whatever since we focus on her a lot for no good reason. The women are also often infiltrating secret bases to nazis or other bad guys that I’m not as well versed in because admittedly I’m not that interested in the history of warfare, modern or old. I just assume this is a COD thing. But in order to infiltrate the bases, they just wave papers at literally every guy they come across and that does it somehow. I started going ballistic and every time they mentioned papers I would start screeching again. They get stopped by some dude and he’s always like “Where are your papers?” and they ALWAYS have the papers and then they go past but the author FEELS THE NEED TO KEEP BRINGING IT UP. It’s like The Black Fucking Mountains again. Something I’ve learned about myself is that I do poorly with overly repetitive writing, so I wonder why I’m reading world’s most repetitive piece ever penned for fun. I can’t recall anything that happens in any chapters.

Somewhere in the mix they actually save Ike, Marth, and Roy. Somehow the most in character thing in the entire fic happens with them when it’s offhandedly mentioned that they sometimes dogpile into the same bed as a joke. What was more shocking to me is that suddenly Ike is a total nuclear bomb genius out of nowhere. Sure, he’s from a medieval fantasy setting, he knows what nukes are. We finally get some more plot. Apparently Emerald is trying to develop some insanely powerful nuke in order to destroy the trophies of the remaining captured heroes. See, she’s holding them ransom so she can get… money? Power? Fame?

Trying to do this from memory is so hard. I did My Inner Life practically all from memory, only going in there for the copy and pasted quotes! What the heck? This fic just slides off my brain. I don’t know if finishing it is even worth it since it’s not like I’m reading any of the sex scenes in detail (I mean why would I, a woman with decent taste, want to read about usagi feeling up chibi usa) and I sure as hell can’t understand the Call of Duty parts so in conclusion this fic really wasn’t targeted at me.

But whatever. So now the main crew has to slaughter their way to bomb storage or development or something. Some of the COD guys died and I didn’t notice, some of the villains died (tragically Valtome was K.I.A.) and all in all too much sex was happening. Seriously, Mist has sex on her brother’s bed, that’s kind of nasty. I don’t know why I’m so hung up on all of that. It’s like the piss drinking thing, it’s a minor offense in a long line of “HOLY FUCKING SHIT” but here’s where I get derailed.

How many times can I say that this fic is terrible? Because it is. I don’t understand who a lot of these characters are and why they’re here or what they’re doing. I managed to read to the end and all that I learned was Shadow the Hedgehog apparently cheated on Rouge with some guy called Makarov who is another major villain. What, so when Rouge cheats on him with another woman it’s fine, but when he cheats on her with a man he gets killed for it? I smell double standard! Don’t worry, I’m a feminist, I support equal rights of everyone getting punished for their perpetual horniness. Still, there’s this shocking turn of events where the men are somehow the ones who aren’t constantly obsessed with sex and the women are going around topless and banging each other constantly while homosexuality in men is seen as evil and wrong. For some reason I think the person who wrote this might be a man. He feels the need to remind us, 40 chapters in, that there will be No Yaoi scenes but plenty of Yuri. No shit dude, like, fuck! I didn’t know!

Towards the end, Washington DC gets overrun by Colombians and the team has to kill them. There’s some drawn out attack sequence where everything is described in monotonous detail with military terms I don’t understand. I have a general revulsion to military weeaboos as they are sometimes called, so this stuff turns my stomach. It also features Kenichi, the main character of the animated Metropolis adaptation, which I DID see a long time ago! This little boy is killing people! It’s fine! Also it mentions Frau Bow from Gundam and discusses that she’s training to fight in a mobile suit to help support, but Peach and Samus are the ones who actually use the mobile suits. Peach kills people in the RX-78-2. I’m not sure how to feel about that. Another aside is King Boo is in the mix and he dies. How do ghosts die? Asking for a friend.

There’s also some weird aside of the COD guys doing an arrest in Disneyland. Gaz, Soap, and Price all go there guns akimbo and chase down some dudes and some people die. I don’t think Disney would like that. This also comes out of nowhere, Gaz was playing fucking Go with this dude called Katsuie and it was practically a smash cut transition of “well I arrested a guy in Disneyland once wanna HEAR about it?” and it was. Something. I don’t understand why we did this.

We end with Krystal and Fox discussing that she’s breaking up with him because while he was held hostage, she got engaged to a woman and is unceremoniously dumping him. The scene was honestly kind of funny for the fact that she was having a lesbian three way in his fucking bathroom and then was like “Yeah we’re not dating anymore. I’m engaged. Later idiot!” while naked. Shortly after it’s decided that they need to bomb some German base, I think. So Bright Noah tells the crew to suit up and get ready, and so Krystal and her Lesbians fly off to go fight. Krystal ends up in a one on one with a dude called Scales who I’m unfamiliar with since I don’t know Star Fox lore but I’m sure it’s super important to Krystal. The duel ends so badly that Fox needs to jump in and he and Scales end up plummeting to their death out a window and also getting blown up by grenades. Fox just fucking died for the girlfriend that cheated on him the second he wasn’t home. Honey, you deserve more than this, and Krystal deserves to be treated better by the narrative as well. He gives his blessing as he’s dying, though, so it’s fine.

The whole thing ends shortly after that. It was never completed, not that I think it could be, since I read all 91k words and I still don’t understand who is who, what’s going on, or why things are happening. Even if I did know all the characters featured I don’t think it’d help. I know about 50% of them and it’s not helpful at all. I completely forgot that Emerald is a thing. She’s the main villain! She’s hardly in it! The guy should have cut the shit and just written

Tell’s recommendation? Don’t read this unless you’re really, truly a masochist. It’s not funny enough most of the time to justify the insanity. It’s sexist and racist. Chapters monotonously drone on with the same things happening almost every time. The bad sex isn’t even funny. Save yourself the trouble and if you really must know, check out the first few chapters only and then call it. The author has other works that I haven’t read but I’m not sure that I will based on the quality of this work, and they also published something as recently as 2017 meaning they could probably rise from the hiatus grave and kick my ass for trash talking them.

One Sentence Review: Bright Noah doesn’t slap anyone.

#don't tell me tell #i gotta think of a tag for when i go feral about fanfiction

7 notes · View notes

artificialqueens · 5 years

Text

Undone, Chapter 8 (Bitney) - Stephanie/Veronica

A/N: Welcome to Chapter 8 of UNDONE, our Bitney lesbian AU. Here’s a link the previous chapters.This is a repost from AO3/RGF - once we’re caught up, new chapters will go up.

Summary: Courtney tries to come to terms with her feelings, while Bianca suffers from the blues.

TW: This story deals with themes of emotional abuse, and since that can be subtle, we’re going to keep a general TW on all of the chapters, even when it seems like it doesn’t apply.

***

“Good morning!” Kim sings, as Courtney walks into the kitchen. “Didja sleep well, sis?”

Courtney grabs the tea kettle from the stove to pour herself a cup.

“Not especially.”

“Sorry, love.” Kim holds out a plate with toast and jam. “And I’m sorry for giving you shit last night. You’re just so much fun to tease.”

Courtney sighs, leaning back against the fridge and taking a slice.

“It’s alright. You were...less off base than I let on.”

“I know,” Kim smirks.

“Cunt,” Courtney laughs, mouth full.

Kim finishes her juice and sets the glass in the sink.

“Runs in the family. Are you sure it’s still cool that I take your car?” Kim asks.

“Yeah, it’s fine. I can uber to work; it’s not far.”

“Awesome. I’ll be back Sunday, then,” Kim says, grabbing the keys, her purse and a small rolling suitcase. “In the meantime, if you feel like inviting any sexy Latina women over, you know…”

“Get out of here!” Courtney exclaims, laughing, shoving her towards the door.

***

Courtney groans in frustration, tossing her phone over onto her heap of clothes in the corner.

“That little twat isn’t bothering you again, is she?” Bianca asks her. “Turn.”

Courtney obeys, answering, “No. I think you scared her away for good. Thank god.”

“Excellent. So what’s the problem?” She unzips Courtney’s dress, taking it over to the sewing machine to make the alterations.

“Well...I’m trying to find some...uh...company, for tonight, and none of my regulars are available, and the idea of prowling around a bar is just not very appealing.”

Bianca opens her mouth to respond but is cut off by Adore opening the door to the trailer, asking, “is Gary still in here?”

“No, he's in makeup,” Bianca says.

“Cool.”

She starts to leave but Courtney calls out, “Wait!”

“Yes?” Adore turns back around as Courtney runs to the door, arms over her bare chest. “Nice panties.”

“Are you still dating that DJ?” Courtney asks Adore quietly. Bianca slows down the sewing, pretending not to listen in.

“No, why?” Adore responds.

Courtney gives her puppy eyes.

“Oh.” Adore grins. “DTF, huh?”

“Yes please.”

“Can we go in your hot tub?” Adore bargains.

“Whatever gets you in the mood, peaches.” Courtney flutters her lashes.

“You know,” Adore laughs, “You're my most generous booty call.”

Courtney sticks her tongue out as Adore lets the screen door fall closed, backing down the steps.

“Pleasure doing business with you, Ms. Delano!”

“Later bitch!”

Courtney walks back over to perch on the stool while Bianca keeps sewing.

“Wow,” Bianca says under her breath, turning the dress over to examine the seams.

“What?”

“Just...that was very...uh...direct.”

“Welcome to friends with benefits,” Courtney laughs.

Bianca shakes her head. “You’re out of control.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I just mean...like, you are constantly coming here with stories about all these different girls. You’re definitely pulling more tail than the brosin Jared’s office.”

“Well, sure, I would hope so, because I’m guessing by your tone that that’s quite a low bar to clear.”

Bianca laughs uncomfortably.

“And anyway, I think you have a very warped perspective about what life is like for a single person. You said you’ve been with your husband since you were what, 18?”

“Yeah, so?”

“So, you havenoidea what it’s like to have to chase downother human beings to sleep with. It is fucking exhausting. I will bet you anything that you have more than double the amount of sex as me. Maybe triple.”

“Not a chance!”

“Well, why don’t we do the math?”

“Sure...” Bianca agrees.

“Okay, so, how often do you and Jared have sex? Roughly, how many time a week?”

“Uhhh...I dunno, maybe... four? Five?”

“Four or five?!”

“Is that bad?”

“No, it’s...holy shit. Cheers, Jared.” Courtney shakes her head.

Bianca giggles, slightly self-conscious.

“Alright, well, let me break down my wild and crazy single person sex life for you. I go out once or twice a week. I bring someone home with me...maybe 1 in 3 of those times, if I’m lucky. So I’m fucking another human maybe twice a month? Four times, tops. The rest of the time, I take care of my own business, with help from some very top of the line vibrators.”

Bianca closes her eyes.

“Is there anything you don’t feel the need to share?”

“No, why?”

“Nothing, nevermind.”

“Anyway...I assume with your Ivy League education that you’re following the math here.”

“Wow.” Bianca looks at her. “I guess so.”

“Really, four or five?” Courtney shakes her head in amazement.

“Well...we aretrying to have a baby,” Bianca says.

“Okay, but that only explains a few days a month.”

“Right, but Jared’s philosophy is that ovulation days are Game Days, and the rest of the month is like, practice, keeping in good form, so we’re in peak condition for Game Day.” Bianca says all of this matter-of-factly, with a slightly amused tone, clearly not buying it 100%, but pretending to. She removes the dress from the machine, clipping a few loose threads and handing it back over.

“Ahh, I see. What about your period?” Courtney slips the dress over her head and turns around so that Bianca can zip her up.

“Off season.”

Courtney laughs.

“Well, B, this sounds like a winning formula. I wish you guys lots of success for getting those swimmers past the goal line, into the...hoop? I don’t really do sports metaphors, sorry.”

“Thanks anyway,” Bianca says, helping her into her jacket, chuckling.

***

“Holy shit,” Adore pants, sprawled out on her back. “What the fuck got into you?”

“I’m sorry,” Courtney says. “I didn’t mean to get so aggressive.” She rolls over, propping her head up with a pillow.

“I mean, I didn’t realize we were having a competition, but you definitely won. I think I’m gonna have bruises tomorrow, though.

“You’re so dramatic. It wasn’t that bad.”

“Ummm, tell that to my poor battered pussy,” Adore counters.

Courtney rolls her eyes. “Then why didn’t you tell me to stop?”

“Well...I liked it.” Adore flashes an impish grin and Courtney laughs, nudging her affectionately with her foot.

“You’re so stupid.”

“Yeah. So...what’s your problem? Why all the pent-up rage?”

“Uh, I don’t know. Maybe...I guess I kind of got into it with Kimmy last night.” Courtney examines her nails.

“About?”

“She was kind of giving me shit about Bianca. And I got all defensive because, you know, I just...I don’t see it ever happening.”

“I dunno about that,” Adore says, chuckling.

“But Adore, be realistic. I mean, she’s married, and she wants a family, with her husband, and...you know, it is what it is. But god, she’s so hot, I can’t stand it sometimes…”

“I don’t understand you, this is totally your wheelhouse. Just be like,” Adore puts on an exaggerated Australian accent, “Hello Bianca, are ya keen? Care for a root? Cause I’d really like to fuck your brains out, how’s that? Oh these? Just my tits, I thought I’d have them out today. So are we on?”

“Would you please stop, I don’t sound like that. You sound like the crocodile hunter imitating Ja’mie or something.”

“Well, you could learn a lot from Ja’mie. She’s got more balls than you.”

Courtney sighs, closing her eyes and smiling dreamily. “She’s just so beautiful. Have you ever seen anyone that beautiful?”

“Well, yeah, I have a mirror, so…” Adore tongue pops.

Courtney rolls her eyes.

“I’m kidding,” Adore says. “And I guess she’s cute...in that like, grown-up Bratz doll, painted, uber-femme kinda way. She’s definitely got great tits.”

“Grown up Bratz doll,” Courtney repeats, chuckling, then says, “You know who she reminds me of? Remember in The Little Mermaid, that scene when-”

“My favorite movie, go on-”

“When Ursula turns into that like, sexy girl, and tries to steal Eric from Ariel?” Courtney raises her eyebrows.

“Omigod. Vanessa.” Adore begins to laugh.

“Yes! Vanessa! Blue eyes, dark hair, that evil glint in her eye…”

“She is a little bit evil. I’ve noticed that too,” Adore nods.

“No! Not evil, but, like...impish. Mischievous. And those cute dimples. And that body…Ughhhhh!”

“Girl, you need a cold shower.”

“I need a lobotomy.”

“Or that,” Adore agrees. “You know what I wonder...What’s the husband like?”

Courtney shrugs, eyes slightly unfocused.

“I’ve never met him.”

“Well, okay, but I’m sure you stalked her social media. You must know what he looks like…”

“I mean, of course…” She hugs a pillow to her chest.

“...And?”

“And what?”

Adore cups her hands around her mouth and speaks loudly through them.

“What does he look like?”

“I...I dunno. He’s...like, if you went to the husband factory and ordered the Ivy League model with a cheekbone upgrade, he’s what would pop out of the machine. He’s basically a Ken doll.”

“Hmm. So she’s got a type,” Adore muses thoughtfully.

Courtney raises the pillow and smacks Adore in the face, making her shriek with laughter.

***

Bianca looks up from her sewing machine. “So how was your night?”

“Pretty good,” Courtney says, perched on the stool, swinging her legs.

Bianca raises an eyebrow and shakes her head, looking back down.

“What?”

“No, nothing. I’m just bracing myself.”

“Bracing yourself for what?”

“Details about your little rendez-vous.”

Courtney smirks, twirling a lock of hair around her finger. “Oh, so you want details, eh? Didn’t realize you were so thirsty for smut-”

“No, I didn’t say I wanteddetails, but that’s never stopped you before,” Bianca replies with an exaggerated eye roll.

“Well...” Courtney begins, then pauses.

Bianca looks up, soft blue eyes meeting Courtney’s green ones. She can feel her heart begin to race, her abdomen tightening.

“Yeah?”

“...I don’t want to torture you,” Courtney continues, “So, I’ll just let you imagine this one.”

Bianca exhales, forcing a scoff.

“Oh...shut up.”

Courtney giggles, twirling on the stool, feeling a slight release of the tension that had been building up over the last few days. She exhales, letting her head fall backwards, enjoying the dizziness that comes over her as she spins, not unlike the feeling of being on a dance floor after your second or third cocktail.

“I do have one question.”

Bianca’s voice brings her back to the moment and she puts a foot down to stop the stool.

“Yes?” she asks, with a coy flutter of her lashes.

“Don’t get excited, it’s not a sex question.”

“Oh.”

“Just like...the whole ‘friends with benefits’ thing.” Bianca pauses, then continues carefully, “I just...always thought that was a thing guys made up so that they didn’t have to commit. What exactly are you getting out of that?”

“Is this a trick question?”

“No. You’re good friends, so you obviously get along. And you sleep together. Why not just date? What am I missing?”

“You can like someone, and enjoy sleeping with them, and still know that they aren’t the right romantic match for you. I love Adore. I mean, you know her, she’s fun, and we totally get along, but…it takes a lot for me to want to be in a relationship. I’d much rather be independent than try to force something with someone that isn’t right for me. And with Adore...there’s not that fire, that...you know?”

Bianca listens, wondering how anyone could be with Courtney and not have fire. She’s nothing butfire.

“I mean it’s always just been too easy. There’s no burning passion, or...or sense of adventure. It’s just...nice. Which is great, but...that’s it...” Courtney trails off, trying to read the ambiguous expression on Bianca’s face.

“I see.” It’s taking all of Bianca’s mental strength not to imagine exactly the kind of “burning passion” it would take to satisfy her. Nails dig in her hands under the sewing table, willing herself to erase the torrid images flashing through her mind. Back arched, toes curled, mouth open in a desperate moan...

“For either of us!” Courtney continues quickly. “Which is why, you know, we don’t hook up too often. Or, we’ll get lazy and stop looking for the real deal. She agrees with me; we’ve talked about it.”

“Wait, you’ve actually talked about this?” Bianca is snapped out of her fantasies by surprise, caught off guard. “So then it’s more than just sex?”

Courtney looks at her for a moment before answering, suddenly conscious of how very deeply curious she’s been. Almost invested. But she shakes that thought and smiles.

“Well, yeah. She’s not just a trick, she’s my friend. And she agrees. But then, she’s kind of lazier than me so sometimes she’s like ‘sure, right, but on the other hand, who needs epic passion when you’ve got Netflix?’”

Bianca laughs.

“She sounds like Jared. We should fix them up.”

“Now, I’ve know never met him, but something tells me that he wouldn’t be her type,” Courtney replies.

“I dunno, he’s kinda pretty,” Bianca says. “A wig and a wonderbra, she might not know.”

“Well…” Courtney taps her chin thoughtfully. “She does like a strap-on.”

Bianca’s eyes bulge as she gapes at Courtney, lips parted in disbelief.

“What, you thought it was the other way around?” Courtney asks sweetly.

“I...I...shut up!” Bianca finally stammers out.

Courtney winks smugly and then bursts out laughing, immensely proud of herself.

***

“Don’t get me wrong...your dogs are super fucking cool, but I just think it’s a little weird that you always have them at the table with us,” Adore says.

“Why?” Bianca responds. “We let you sit at the table.”

Adore laughs, spitting out some of her roast beef.

“Case in point…”

Courtney bites down on a carrot stick, thoughtfully scratching Sammy behind the ears.

“Hey, are you guys doing anything next Saturday?” she asks.

“Why?” Adore asks suspiciously. “Not another lame west side art gallery opening again...because I toldSasha-“

“No, not that. So...I have this friend-”

“Hard to believe, but go on…” Bianca interrupts.

“Ahem. My dear, dear friend Alexis is hosting this like, cabaret-style performance night at the Rockwell and she asked me to do a few numbers. I was wondering if you guys might want to come. No pressure.”

“You sing?” Bianca asks.

“Mostly for a lark, but yeah.” Courtney chews her lip. “It’s really no big deal. Although, if it helps, the other performers are actual professionals. Frankly, I’m not sure what the fuck I’m doing in this line-up except maybe she’s being nice.”

“Maybe she thinks you’ll look good on the posters,” Adore offers.

“Thanks.”

“You’re such a little twat,” Bianca tells her.

“Yeah, well, this is total false modesty. Her voice is fucking awesome. I’ll be there, obviously, and you should come too. Wear something low cut and I’ll buy you a drink.” Adore winks.

“Stop that,” Bianca says. “I’m old enough to be your mother.”

“Oh, you are not. Maybe like, a slutty golddigging stepmom.”

“There’s an image,” Courtney laughs.

“Why slutty? Why can’t I be a classy golddigger?”

“My dad’s lazy, so he goes for very whoreish women. It’s kind of the reason my mom kicked him out.”

“Sounds like a real catch.”

“Hey, you picked him...Mommy.” Adore winks again, licking her lips.

“You’re a sick fuck.” Bianca shakes her head.

“I know, right?” Adore grins charmingly, resting her head on Courtney’s shoulder.

“By the way, I’ve seen her dad...I don’t think he’s your cup of tea,” Courtney adds.

“Good to know. Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been called a golddigger though.”

“Seriously?”

“Oh yeah. Jared’s mom had it out for me from the beginning. And then, like, we were engaged for almost nine years, and the entire time, she was fighting about this insane pre-nup that she wanted me to sign. Newsflash, Linda: I’m not in this for the beach house on the Cape. I’d actually rather slit my own wrists then spend a summer with your racist garbage friends in Chatham.”

“What a bitch!” Adore exclaims.

“Pretty much,” Bianca shrugs, tapping her French tips on the table. “But, joke’s on her. Because maybe if she wasn’t such an asshole back when we first hooked up, her son wouldn’t have been so gung-ho about marrying me in the first place.” She takes a long sip of her Diet Coke as Adore laughs uproariously.

“You get that Hamptons house, bitch!” Adore cheers, lifting her cup in a toast.

“Cape Cod,” Bianca corrects her.

“Right, whatever...same thing, though, amiright?”

Bianca laughs, nodding.

“Pretty much the same thing.”

“White people suck,” Adore proclaims, then looks at Courtney and adds, “No offense, boo.”

“Full offense, boo,” Bianca says. “This SoulCycle vegan Coachella cunt? She’s so part of the problem.”

“I hate Coachella,” Courtney says simply, staring her down.

“But you love Burning Man,” Adore says, and Bianca bursts out laughing again.

“White people suck,” she concludes. “But joke’s on them. Because even though they hate me, they won’t possibly be able to hate their little brown dimpled grandkids.”

Courtney scrutinizes her carefully, wondering exactly how much pain hides beneath that tough exterior. Bianca looks up and catches her eye, giving her a softer smile than she expects. She returns it happily, waving Sammy’s paw at her with a light giggle.

***

“Hey, so, about Saturday...seriously, no obligation if you’re busy,” Courtney says, sticking her head into Bianca’s trailer after checking out with Jamie.

“Oh. Yeah, no, I’m not busy.”

“Or, like, If you’re not up for it. I know you’ve got other things going on, so-”

“No, that’s…” Bianca waves her hand. “It sounds fun. I’m excited to hear you sing.”

She smiles, flashing her dimples, and Courtney feels a tingle of nervous energy in her belly. It’s been awhile since she’s gotten onstage, and she’s used to that rush of butterflies, but suddenly there’s a whole new level of anxiety. Suddenly, she has this inescapable feeling that no matter how big the crowd is, she’s going to be performing for an audience of one.

***

Bianca follows the waitress into the Rockwell’s performance space, quickly realizing that her reserved seat is with Adore and a bunch of people she’s never seen. And of course, Adore is already looking a little tipsy. Fantastic.

“Heeey Sugar Tits!” Adore slings an arm around her. “You smell good.”

“Wish I could say the same. You do know the drought’s over, right? We can bathe every day now.” Bianca wrinkles her nose.

Shea laughs, flagging the server.

“Okay, New Girl is funny. What’s your name, and what are you drinking?”

“Bianca, and…” she scans the menu quickly. “Uhhh...Ravenswood, I guess?”

“Put it on my tab,” Shea tells the server, then extends her hand to Bianca. “I’m Shea. How do you know our messy little bitch here? Adore, stop groping her, Jesus!”

Adore crosses her arms, pouting.

“Spoilsport.”

“I work with her and Court on Silver Screens,” Bianca laughs, straightening Adore’s hat for her. “And thank you.”

“Ohhh, got it,” Shea says, suddenly realizing who Bianca is. The breeder. She pinches Sasha’s thigh under the table, and her girlfriend turns around, having been fully engrossed in a pretentious conversation with Naomi at the next table about whether the collection at The Broad was still relevant since they opened the previous year.

After a few rounds of drinks and some shared appetizers, Bianca finds herself warming quite a bit to Courtney’s friends, especially Shea. There’s something about the Chicagoan that reminds her of her friends back home - well, the ones smart enough to get out of Gretna, that is.

The easy camaraderie continues as the lights dim and Alexis, the MC for the evening, steps out. She’s obviously good friends with the girls, since they are on their feet screaming for her, and their enthusiasm is infectious. And well founded, Bianca realizes, once she begins to sing a throaty rendition of Cabaretto get the crowd going.

The next performer is wonderful, a Broadway actress with a fabulous range and impressive resume. Courtney wasn’t lying about the line-up. Bianca is on her fourth glass of wine, feeling uncharacteristically relaxed, when Alexis introduces Courtney, giving the audience a kind of warning.

“If you’ve never seen our next performer...it might be hard to focus on her singing, because...well, you’ll see.” Alexis gestures to some tables in the front. “You folks are in the swooning section, I’m afraid.”

Sasha whistles and Alexis continues, “Please show a lot of love to the stunning, talented, and all around extraordinary...Ms. Courtney Hamilton!”

Bianca claps and cheers along with the group as Courtney steps onto the bright lights of the stage, and that’s when it feels like all the air is sucked out of her lungs. She’s used to the blonde being stunning, in a kind of easy, effortless way - the kind of beauty that’s annoying, because she doesn’t have to try, and so she doesn’t try. But tonight…

The woman standing on stage is the most breathtaking bombshell that Bianca has ever seen. Everything about her is sheer perfection, from the crown of her glossy blonde hair to the tip of her stiletto heel. As she steps forward, nodding her head gratefully at the applause, the high slit of her dress falls away and Alexis winks at someone in the front row of the audience.

“Told ya.”

There’s a gentle chuckle and Adore wolf whistles. Bianca gulps, sending up a silent prayer to get through this evening with her wits about her.

#rpdr fanfiction #bianca del rio #courtney act #bitney #adore delano #adorney #shea coulee #oc #lesbian au #slow burn #fluff #angst #undone #stephanie #veronica #tw emotional abuse

12 notes · View notes

speckeh · 5 years

Text

My 2019 Garbage Book Dump

It’s 2019! I’m tired, I’m hella gay, and I’m still reading books as much as I can with my busy life! Enjoy this book list with reviews!

1. Thunderball: 5/5 stars. Mormon jokes. Making fun of dietary changes? A young Italian woman (girl) who controls the island with her beauty. It becomes a mission against nuclear threats against the Europe and the US? Not exactly the MOST thrilling James Bond book, but I had a lot of fun reading it. I’m glad this was my first read of the year!

2. The Lydia Steptoe Stories - Faber Stories: 4/5 stars. I found these short, tiny books in a local bookstore. There were 6 of them on the table and I bought three. Sometimes I wish I bought all of them, but not all of them spoke to me. The Lydia collection was interesting as it held three stories with: a young man being “seduced” by his aunt, a young girl wanting to be a dominatrix, and a woman who wishes she could be youthful again. While I didn’t find the stories awe-inspiring, I did find them extremely entertaining and nice to think about.

3. Emma Cozy Classics: 5/5 stars. I have the pride and prejudice one. While it might not be as fabulous as a full book, but the pain-staking skill of felt art is entirely impressive. It went on my Jane Austen book shelf.

4. Come Rain or Shine - Faber Stories: 3/5 stars. What would you do if your friends thought you were absolutely insane and their lives are falling apart worse than yours? What would you do if your friend asks you to play absolutely stupid to his wife to make him look better and for her to realize her life isn’t so bad that she got lucky enough to not marry you? I for one, would drop these fucking friends and never look back. The story was a fucking train wreck and absolutely insane to the point where it wasn’t even humorous to me. Several authors state it’s Ishiguro’s step into comical writing and I wish he wouldn’t.

5. Passionate Minds - Women Rewriting the World: 1/5 stars. I found this book at my Uni’s free bookshelf. I was super excited to read this book but it’s one of the dullest and full of biases book I’ve had the displeasure of picking up. I got to read about my girl Gertrude Stein but I was expecting more female writers, not actors who the writer obvious gets off on. There’s nothing wrong with that, and this book has rave reviews, I just couldn’t stand the writing style and obvious fawning she had (and not in the academic/historically reserved way authors should be).

6. Wandering Island Vol. 2: 4/5 stars. It’s been two years since the first volume came out. I found myself reading it in record time which has me both disappointed and a bit confused (not because I read it fast, but because of the strange editorial ending). The art is impeccable with a few questionable “obviously a man drew this” moment, the story has kind of been a bit muddled up and didn’t necessarily go anywhere this volume. It felt more of a build up for Volume 3 which I don’t know when will be released. The editor wrote this strange 6 page essay that started off they were going to postpone Wandering Island 3, then went on a long rant about how the manga editing world has changed with ^-^ faces all throughout, only to then write fan theories of where they think the story is going to finish with: “We’ll translate the pages as soon as they come out! ^-^” what the fuck?? Haha

7. Fun Home - A Family Tragicomic. 5/5 stars. I bought this book today and I finished it this evening. I’m still processing everything that happened but one thing I know for sure is that I found one of my top 5 books of 2019 as well as a new favorite already. Alison approaches a hard topic of coming out, learning about her father’s secret life of being bisexual, and coming to terms with the strange person with anger issues that was her father. While my father wasn’t gay, there were several elements of her father I saw in my own. The volatile anger, learning more about his life after his death, hearing shattering truths from your mom, the regret of not having conversations sooner and him not seeing who you truly are before their passing. It struck a chord with me and I’m going to be thinking about this comic book I feel like for two months.

8. The Real McCoy: 4/5 stars. This is like a small wikipedia pamphlet book about the famous names, phrases, or lyrics you might know. I wasn’t necessarily impressed with the booklet, but I found some of it entertaining. I gave it a high rating because it served its purpose but I’m totally gifting it to a friend who loves random facts.

9. The Heart Affirming: 5/5 Stars. Epic poems about the Greek Gods, the universal feeling of appreciating nature, the wondering of the cruelty of humanity. This is a rare find of a poetry book not popular and one I found at my local library book sale that was signed by the author. If you have the pleasure to pick up this 1939 poetry book, please do! It’s a treat from the past that shows we still yearn for the same poetic romanticism we did then to now.

10. Bloom: 4.5/5 stars. I’ve realized I’m going to graduate college in the fall and this weird depression hit where I realized my life is really finally going to change forever. So I’m having a mixture of senioritis where I don’t want to do any work when I’m done with school by Wednesday, and I’m having a mid-century life crisis where I don’t know what to do with my life (I mean I do, but it’s terrifying). So I went on a LGTBQ+ splurge on amazon, something i haven’t done in awhile, Bloom was one of those books. Bloom is a fast paced comic about a high school graduate who wants to move out and move on, but his friends are dicks and his parents want him to stay. Welcome the new hot boy whose grandma just died and conveniently loves to bake. Ari wants to leave the bakery and this new hot guy is just his ticket to leave, or is it? I really liked this comic for the art and the story line was refreshing. But there were several instances where the book moves really quickly and the development was… meh. HeartStopper has great, slow pacing that lets you feel like the characters and story moves in a believable way. Bloom is rushed in some parts, but still.. So cute.

11. Spinning: 5/5 Stars. 2/4 of the LGTBQ+ books I ordered have been read! I read this book the day before valentine’s day and I’ve already been in a weird mode/crisis of being a university senior. I, loved this book for all the reasons why people gave it 3 stars. Everyone stated the story didn’t wrap up, that i jumped, that it felt fragments, but if you read the very end the author state not all books should make sense or follow a timeline or be accurate and these followed her own recollection without revisiting anything. I really appreciated and I loved the style. It’s a heavy book with sexual assault, manipulation, child abuse, and a very unhappy protagonist who isn’t likeable. But at the same time, finishing this book I just felt such grief that I didn’t pursue an art career. That I didn’t just join an art program or give my art career a chance. I think when I’m in the end of my career, retirement, I may go to art school again or maybe I’ll splurge money on lessons or maybe I’ll just accept my art as is. Either way, this book made me fiercely jealous of a 21 year old. It reminded me of a famous story of my dad reading a book about astronauts and crying in the bath because he should have been an astronaut, and how this book made me want to cry because in some form I should have been an artist. But like my dad, we’ve both chased careers that really inspired and gave us amazing opportunities. But I think it’s natural to miss over those childhood passions you didn’t follow through with because you felt like you weren’t enough.

12. My Solo Exchange Diary Vol 2. 2.5/5 stars. I read the first volume last year due to prompting from one of my precious friends (Ramona). My loneliness with Lesbianism was AMAZING. I bought it. My Solo Exchange Diary felt like the author was rambling in circles, completely mentally unwell, and had no ideas of how to properly take care of herself. In Volume 2 she was able to search for some help and she was able to deal with some introspective thoughts about how her viewpoint might have been wrong and how she was toxic to herself and her family. Volume 2 still left a taste in my mouth that felt… weird? She’s moving in the right directions but I think she’s desperately trying to follow the hype of her lesbian hit manga and she’s failing due to her wants to surpass herself. I laughed and felt bad as she mentioned how people slammed her for Volume 1, so it felt very meta to read how she reacted because my comment was also criticizing her: read here. But if you’re reading it in a bookstore or a library, do it. It’s nice to see how she’s slowly making progress with herself.

13. Sputnik Sweetheart. 1/5 stars. I picked this up in Brussels in the select few english section because the cover was intriguing and the back cover claimed it was a lesbian story. I was so excited, and imagine my absolutely hatred when I realized a straight cisgender man had written a “lesbian” story through the eyes of a straight male who is lusting after his lesbian best friend. He proclaims he gets boners at looking at her breasts and how her eccentric style only makes her that more beautiful just to him. I hate everything about this book. I wish straight cisgendered men would leave lesbian narrative stories alone unless you’re going to write them right. Get the fuck out of my books.

14. Fortunate Beasts: Letters to Lucardo Vol 2: 5/5 stars. The long waited and anticipated sequel to Letters to Lucardo!!! It’s been two years since I read the first volume, supported it on kickstarters, and I’m going to keep funding each release until the quadiology is complete! This had a lot less background building, exciting sex scenes, but you now understand the two lovers and get to see them develop their budding relationship. While it wasn’t as smut riddled as I expected, I was very happy with the continuation!

15. The little Lame Prince: 2/5 stars. DNF. Did not finish in case for those who don’t know/can’t remember (I hardly remember what DNF stands for myself). I’m torn as I want to eventually finish this book but I’m just not in the mood for it. It’s a sweet story but is very slow and from what I can tell, repeats itself a lot. It’s a old book from the early 1800s which explains the somewhat hard language and problematic moments, but it’s still charming. I’ll debate when I’ll try this again. For now, it’s returning to my shelves with a bookmark in the pages.

16. Shounen Houkokusho. 5/5 stars. A shounen-ai soft, wholesome gay family about a little boy standing up for his dad’s long time partner and asking them to get married. Very sweet. So precious. I love.

17. Same Difference and Other Stories: 4/5 stars. This was a reread from my friend Mark who gifted this to me back in december of 2014. It’s been 5 years since I picked up this book and I decided to see how its changed. As an adult, this comic speaks to me a lot louder than it did nearly half a decade ago. Struggling to find your way through life, seeing all your high school “friends” getting married, having jobs, meanwhile you’re just.. Here. Definitely a story I needed to revisit again in the future and also I still appreciate Mark’s notes he left in here for me!

18. Amazing Women: 101 Lives to Inspire you: 4/5 stars. This was my gift after finally being cut loose from the cancer clinic. I never had to go back there again and so I decided to pick up a momento. This was the book I chose that they offered. I really appreciate how they cover diverse women from all over the world rather than American-centric. They don’t go further than 1826, keping mostly within 200 years which is a bit of a bummer. There were also some choices I felt were questionable, like Zoe Sugg (who had her book ghost written and scams her viewers) and that they didn’t have Alison Bechendel was a huge disappointment. But this book is opinionated as they did have to narrow it down to 101 women, so I’m never going to be happy unless I pick my own. I also appreciated that if a diplomat was assassinated they mentioned it in the book.

19. The Epic of Gilgamesh: 5/5 stars. I learned about the Epic of Gilgamesh back when I was a itty-bitty sophomore in high school. I remember being so intrigued and would draw my gay ass characters as the Harlot and Endurk. I think I still have the drawings somewhere and they’re cringey. I bought the book and it’s been sitting on my shelf for YEARS. I did a deep clean of my bookshelves last night from 11:30 pm - 4:30 am, and this morning I just wanted to read since I haven’t been able to for months. I loved it! I love creation myths, old myths from “lost” cultures, plus the language was hella gay in this story. It’s a short 61 pages, so if you have like an hour or two and are in the mood for some myths baby, pick it up!

20. The Making of Pride and Prejudice: 4/5 stars. This book is chalked full of interviews from staff, actors, photos of the sets, and a bit too long section on the director and writers moaning about a script. I loved the photos of the behind the scenes and reading Colin Firth’s reluctancy to take, arguably, his most iconic role because he didn’t care for classical movies. Thought they were boring. Really a cool book to have if you’re a big Pride and Prejudice 1995 fan.

21. Greek Myths: 2/5 stars. I love the artwork in this book, but the author shows a lack of research when he writes the Roman names for the greek gods. I’m all fine with showing a Roman cultural story, but if you’re writing a Greek Myths story, BITCH use the Greek names!!! If it wasn’t for the artwork, this book would be traaash.

22. Wicked: 5/5 stars. I’ve been in a reading rut for almost a month where I’ve felt unmotivated to do anything. Since going back to brief counseling and getting my head on straight again, I’ve felt the motivation to read. I’m also doing the 2019 OWLS for a Wandmaker and this was one of my assignments. I absolutely loved Wicked. The musical came in last month and it reinvigorated my love for the show. I’ve been wanting to read the book, it’s been haunting me for awhile and I found a back of the Wicked series for 5 dollars at my library sale. Snatched that bitch up. I read this 408 pages in two weeks, probably would have in a week but school. God, I related so much to Elphaba. Not so much the whole, feeling like she has no soul, but taking school seriously and not making friends, coming from a religious family and rebelling, feeling like she’s responsible for her whole family, (not feeling like she’s attractive) and seeing her growth and becoming more comfortable with herself really made me feel better about myself? It’s a super dark book, but it’s great. It’s really great.

23. A Children’s Guide to the Night Sky: 4/5 stars. This was essentially the condensed and easier version of my Stars and Cosmology course I took two years ago!! I sped read this and some of the greek myths they described were dumb down/removed the queerness of it. Which is why I took off a whole star.

24. The Life-Changing Manga of Tidying Up: 5/5 stars. Hello Marie Kondo. Everyone is on a cleaning kick/obsessed with Marie Kondo. I liked this comic because it was short and also made her book in a bite size, story drive style. I liked its simplistic form!

25. Julian is a Mermaid: 5/5 stars. I’ve had my eye on this book for a year, ever since it was announced in Goodreads’ monthly list. I found the last copy and snatched it up. I like the muted colors, the art style, the different bodies, and letting little boys know it’s ok to dress up as mermaids or anything feminized. A great message!!!

26. Kiss Number 8: 5/5 stars. This is one of those random comics I saw in the new releases and the cover caught my eye. I read the first few pages and decided to buy it. I loved it as it’s a coming out story but the main story isn’t revolved around coming out. It’s about the complicated nature of family, coming out through the years, and trans themes. I know some people say this book and the characters are transphobic due to misgendering and dead names used, but the main character is catholic. Her family are mega catholic. She’s going to a catholic school. Of course there’s going to be misgendering and dead names used! It’s how people naturally react to news. If you’re super sensitive, I wouldn’t read this book, but I loved it to bits. I held it to my chest like I do rarely with those books that give you the warm feels.

27. Elephi - The Cat with the High IQ: 5/5 stars. This was a book I grabbed at a close down sale. It’s about Elephi who sees a small fiat car abandoned in the snow outside and decides to use his brains to get the car inside the fifth story apartment. The author really knows how cats act and I felt like all the mannerisms were perfect for a year old cat(kitten). Really a cute book that I read in 40 minutes??

28. One Happy Tiger: 4/5 stars. A book about a tiger counting friends. Cute. It’s a children’s book. Not too substantial in anything.

29. The Language of Thorns: 5/5 stars. Ok WOW. I bought this about a year ago during B&N’s signed deals where they just had a ton of books signed by the authors. I’ve seen this book floating around on BookTube for awhile and I decided to check it out at the bookstore. The illustrations sold me and I bought it. Imagine the already dark Grimm’s fairy tales, but darker. More context for the characters: Ursula, the Nutcracker, Hansel and Gretel but if Gretel was the only one at home. Really amazing stories and if you’re interested in dark, pretty illustrations that change with each page, pick it up!

30. Satoko and Nada vol 1: 5/5 stars. Ramona and I went to B&N yesterday, just sitting around like two useless gays reading a bunch of manga. This is one she picked out and told me to read it. You know me, as a white academic I am constantly on the lookout for narratives that aren’t white and can educate me. This was one of them! Satoko is from Japan while Nada is from Saudi Arabia, both are exchange students in the US. Their friendship, learning about each other’s cultures is so fucking cute. ;0;

31: I Hear the Sunspot vol 1: 4/5 stars. I docked this down from a 5 star rating because it just jumps into a established plot. I had no idea if this was a continuation from another series or if the author purposefully just threw us in the mix of an established gay relationship but they’re not really (they are but they’re confused) with some flashbacks that looks like it came from another volume? But despite those factors, the art is gorgeous. The characters are well developed and have complex background and stories to tell (one of the main characters has a degenerative hearing issue and will eventually become deaf).

32. Building Writing Center Assessments that Matter: 4/5 stars. This was a required text I had for a independent study I was a part of where I created a assessment of the climate of where I worked. This is a great resource in learning how to build assessments from scratch, and if you’ve never conducted one. I found the information they gave was limited to assessment of students who use the a writing center, while my assessment was more focused on how safe, valued, and heard those who currently work in the space feel. A great way to step into assessments!

33. Mary Ventura and the Ninth Kingdom: 4/5 stars. This was the first fictionalized piece of Slyvia Plath I’ve read. I can understand why it wasn’t published at first. There’s a lot of loose ends. Why was Mary going to the Ninth Kingdom? Why is everyone so placant in going to a “hell” type place? Also what the hell was the ending and her running away? This story left a lot to be answered, but I also love that about this short story.

34. Momo to Manji Vol 2: 5/5 stars. Volume two of one of my favorite historical yaoi mangas. It’s still hasn’t been fully translated just yet but I love it all the same!! So many complex characters, relationships!

35. Sweet Blue Flowers Vol 1. 5/5 stars. The first edition of a 5 volume series. Ramona told me to read this and I devoured the first book! Wholesome young girls falling in love with each other! Boyish girls who are heartthrobs! Unrequited love galore! Definitely going to check out the rest of the volumes!

36. Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up with Me: 5/5 stars. Man. This comic took me through a roller coaster of feelings. First it kind of made me miss the constant interactions I had with people in junior high and high school. It also reminded me heavily of my first gf and I wondered if she and her friends viewed me as Laura Dean (in terms of being too cool. I never cheated lmao. And always just out of reach). It made me melancholy for a younger me who was also hopeless in love with their best friend. It was a wild ride, but one I recommend wholeheartedly!

37. Lovable Lyle: 5/5 stars. I’ve been looking at this little crocodile for awhile and I’ve come to the conclusion he is me. This book was silly but heartwarming as Lyle is beloved but suddenly receives letters from his sworn enemy. They try to ignore it, but they are persistent until they catch the culprit. Fucking ridiculous story but I loved every second.

38. The Great American Pin-Up: 5/5 stars. It was really cool how they sectioned off each famous artist of pin-ups. Some of them were tasteful nudes, semi-nudes, or lingerie teasing moments. As someone who is both gay and used to draw pin-up girls, this is a great reference!!!!

39. Drawing the R.A.F.: 5/5 stars. This book is one of those rarer finds. A british artist was commissioned to draw the officers of the R.A.F. in the middle of World War II. Some portraits are far better than others, but the worser ones are attached with amazing stories. Such as a 6”6’ pilot having to be physically shoved in a spitfire. These are fantastic and the art work is really beautiful.

40. Where’s Will? 4/5 stars. Where’s Will is a William Shakespeare version of Where’s Waldo. The art is beautiful and the hidden characters are extremely clever. However, I remember so often spending hours upon hours trying to find Waldo and the extreme satisfaction of finally finding him. Where’s Will I could find him within 5 minutes. It never went long enough to the point I feel worn and frustrated and finding several more interesting characters. He stood out more than he should and I flew through this book that Waldo would find insulting! But the illustrations are beautiful!

41. Carr’s Pocket Books - Florence Nightingale: 4/5 stars. This mini collection of Nightingale’s journals throughout her life is really interesting. As a woman who revolutionized what it meant to be a nurse and nurse practices, it was nice to see her own words from age 9 to 90. She was an elegant little girl with her writing and she showed wisdom beyond her years. Did I learn anything substantial about her work? No. But I did come to know her on a far more personal level that I appreciate.

42. Carr’s Pocket Books - How Horatius Kept the Bridge: 5/5 stars. Another one of these small pocket sized books I bought in Oundle, England. I don’t know why, but I’ve just been desperate to go through my books and get rid of any and all that don’t speak to me anymore. I also just want to read, a lot. This was part of my kick this week, trying to get through as many as possible. This poem story is about Roman soldier Horatius and how he single handedly took the Bridge against the Greeks. It’s a military triumphant, silly, and mystical, but I really enjoyed the structure of it. It was short and sweet.

43. Echoland: 3.5/5 stars. Echoland follows Arvid, a 12 year old Norwegian boy who visits his grandparents in Denmark for the summer. However, he’s growing up and he’s realizing that his parents are strained for some reason, his sister is too grown for him, and his grandparents are getting older. This book was confusing. It was short, quick, and I think younger children would enjoy this book more than me. It deals with more adult themes but through the eyes of a 12 year old. However, I found a lot of the storyline to be confusing: Why does Arvid not want to be touched? Why are his parents fighting?? Why does he hate all the men in his family? Why is he pushing everyone away? Why are his parents putting up with his attitude? There are a LOT of questions I have and there’s no real answer to be found. Maybe it’s the author’s style, but I found the story to be not as believable, but still enjoyable.

44. Mathilda. 2.5/5 stars. Mathilda was an audiobook I listened to as I suddenly got a migraine at around 6 pm and it didn’t let up until around midnight. The last three hours I’ve been listening to it. I thought this was Matilda from Roald Dahl but was instead by Mary Shelley herself. This was a very bizarre story. I really enjoyed the first half of the story which is about Mathilda writing a final letter to her best friend upon her deathbed. She’s retelling him her tragic story and how the death of her father was her fault. Her childhood was very bleak, touch starved as her mother died and her father abandoned her to his half sister. Her half sister wasn’t warm to her and saw her as a pest, which had Mathilda growing up til she was 16 without a father. Suddenly her father decided to return and within 2 months of his return her aunt dies, and now she’s in his custody. At first everything is fine, until her father starts to lash out at her and is very distant. He at first wants Mathilda to replace her mother and then rejects the idea. They go for a walk and Mathilda presses her father to tell her his deep secret and why he hates her all of a sudden. He refuses until she presses on and then he tells her that he lusts for her. She freaks out, he almost dies in the woods from shame, and then he leaves the next morning. Mathilda is then angry because SHE wanted to leave her father, but because he’s abandoning her again she chases after him. She finds him dead in a hotel room and then Mathilda begins to resent life and living. The story was great up until she decides to chase her father after he leaves her. It became a jumbled mess and Mathilda herself says her mind is a little mad with her decisions. The story started off as an intrigue with beauty descriptions, intense, and then just went bat shit crazy. The story ended on beautiful reflections on nature and how death is not beautiful for those living, but it really lost me. The last hour was a drag. I would definitely suggest listening to it if you have a migraine!

45. Megume to Tsugumi: 5/5 stars. Gay comic, lmao.

46. Golden Sparkle: 5/5 stars. I don’t remember the plot but it was cute.

47. Maltese Falcon: 2/5 stars. I was forced to read this for a film and literature class. Everyone was ranting and raving how the main character should be a male role model but that’s extremely stupid. Look, I love bad male representation (looking at you James Bond), but he was just trash. I get this is a famous crime novel, but GOD. It’s bad.

48. Maiden & Princess: 5/5 stars. This was about a maiden going to a ball who everyone thought she would marry the Prince. Except she and the Prince are best friends and she really fell in love with his sister. We love pride month books!

49. Prince & Knight: 5/5 stars. A gender-swap of Maiden & Princess except this was a Prince who goes off to slay a dragon to save his kingdom only to fall in love with a knight and marry him. SO GOOD.

50. Komi Can’t Communicate, Vol. 1: 4/5 stars. My friend Ramona told me to read this volume since she read it and loved it. While I loved the art and Komi, the story line was just a tad flat for me. It’s a really fun series if you like high school semi-romance but mostly heavy on friendship~!

51. What was Stonewall? 3/5 stars. This was one of those children informative books where they retell a piece of history. I thought this was great for children who know nothing about Stonewall but are hearing it from Drag Queens or in June for Pride History Month. I thought the information about Stonewall was short and concise and also good for children, however the book did verge off point and talk about other points of history as well as random actors who are gay. This is good, but it isn’t Stone wall, you know?

52. Pride: The Story of Harvey Milk and the Rainbow Flag: 4/5 stars. I watched Milk and I cried at the end. I’ve been wanting to know more about how Milk created our Pride Flag and this was another one of those books where it’s curated for children. So I appreciate the run down version it gives us, but they had to “modify” what the stripes mean, such as purple being Sexuality. Let kids hear the unfiltered truth!

53. TBH #1: TBH, This Is So Awkward: 4/5 stars. This was in the teen new released section and it’s a book of text messages. I hated this book, but also was way too invested in it when I was reading it out loud to my date. It’s just a bunch of middle school people sending love notes, getting the Valentine’s Day dance cancelled because they won’t stop using their phone and their principal said “Social Decency.” And then it ended by one of the girls bringing the valentine’s day dance back by creating a Task Force to enforce no texting during school. It was fucking wild and I loved every page I flipped through and wrote in.

54. Adaptations from Short Story to Big Screen: 4/5 stars. I liked it well enough, it was a textbook so I didn’t really read the stories in-depth. However, there are two stories I absolutely love which are Field of Dreams and Smoke Signals.

55. Our Father Who Art in a Tree: 5/5. I loved this book. It’s very true to the experience of what it’s like to be depressed and the first few months of deep grief. While I didn’t lose my parent until my teenage years and my brothers were older, but the strained relationships grief causes is so fucking poignant.

56. Little Miss P: 5/5 stars. I know it’s strange, because it’s a man writing a book about periods, but this was an excellent book. It really showcased the love-hate relationship women have with their periods and also sometimes accurate representations of what it feels like.

57. Ginza Neon Paradise: 4/5 stars. I don’t remember reading this manga! (I’m updating my book list after some months)

58. Na Leo I Ka Makani/Voices on the Wind: 5/5 stars. A book of history and photos of native Hawaiians, royals, and other cultural aspects important to the island. Some really cool photos.

59. Satoko & Nada vol. 2: 5/5 stars. Satoko and Nada are back again, continuing on with their studies and friendship. This book still continues to teach westerners some cool Eastern values while the main characters are learning about each other as well. I think the 3rd volume will come out soonish and that might be the end!!! I love this little series!

60. Annie on My Mind: 5/5 stars. One of the first lesbian novels to show a happy ending with the characters. It’s very much a high school love story and first real love. There were some parts of the story that were absolutely aggravating, painfully embarrassing, but also really heart warming. It’s a queer foundational book in literature, and if you’re interested in the history of queer literature, this should be on your list.

61. Killing Stalking: 5/5 stars. The comic finally ended. I started reading it in 2016 and finished in 2019. God was it a ride. It was full of conflicting feelings, creepiness, and an ending that leaves the reader confused, fulfilled, and also not fulfilled at the same time. I wouldn’t suggest reading it for those who are squeamish with gore, violence, and dark sexual themes, but it’s a fantastic read into what it’s like to experience stockholm syndrome and intense violent trauma.

62. Go for it, Nakamura!: 5/5 stars. A high school student falls in love with his popular classmate, but his classmate doesn’t know he exists! A cute gay book about falling in love, making friends, and pushing yourself to achieve your goals!

63. The Great Gatsby: 4/5 stars. The next two books are books I listened to while deep cleaning my room. It took me two days to fully clean my room, and this was also a challenge for my N.E.W.T.S 2019. I remember reading this book in high school and liking, and I think I lent out my copy and never saw it again. I bought it recently and decided to give it a re-read/listen. I think reading the book would have made it more engaging to me, but I found the themes to not be as impressive as an adult. Maybe it’s because I can’t relate to the characters or their choices are so dumb that I just can’t believe it anymore, but it was still entertaining to listen to. The narrator was great!

64. Emma (Narrated by Emma Thompson): 5/5 stars. This feels a bit like cheating because this rendition was not only abridged, but also had live actors. I’m very familiar with Emma, and Emma Thompson as the narrator was a genius move. However, do I feel like I read/listened to Emma? Not really.

65. Fresh Romance, Vol. 1: 4/5 stars. Half of the stories were very confusing and not very good. However, I really loved two stories about a Regency marriage and a spin off of Beauty and the Beast. I would read this volume just for those additions.

66. Pilu of the Woods: 5/5 stars. A cute story about emotions, friendship, and the woods. It even has a recipe on the back I want to read it!! The colors and characters are adorable. The storyline might not be as solid, but it’s a great read!

67. Ou-same to Puppy Love: 5/5 stars. A foreign prince falls in love with a neat-freak government official. Queue stupid boys in love!

68. Sugar Days: 5/5 stars. Childhood best friends, one small and manly, one tall and feminine, both love each other without having the courage to tell the other!!!! Very cute!!!!!

69. The Tea Dragon Society: 5/5 stars. I remember seeing this book a year ago and how everyone was ranting and raving about it. However, I never bought it or saw it. My best friend brought it over the other day for me to read and I could finally see what the fuss was about. QUEER CHARACTERS, LITTLE DRAGONS WITH TEA LEAVES GROWING OFF OF THEM, MULTIPLE REPRESENTATION!!!! IT’S SO GOOOOOD!

70. Luminous Animal: 5/5 stars. A jazz poetry book. It’s interesting how Tony Moffeit can write the same theme over and over, with the same lines but in different poems with different perspectives. It was really cool!

71. Still Mostly True: 5/5 stars. A weird poetry book that has philosophy and deep meaning poems with also weird ass drawings. However, my poetry book had inscriptions from someone else to their friend. The inscriptions were sometimes very annoying, but also kind of heartwarming how this friend made sure her friend knew she was thinking of her and loving her.

72. Sky, Wind, and Stars. 5/5 stars. A poetry book that was a Korean activist who was murdered by the Japanese through medical experiments for his radical poetry. We watched the movie in my Korean History through film class, and I loved it to bits I wanted to read his poetry. The movie downplayed just how radical his poetry was. Even as a English speaker, I can clearly see the activism, Korean pride that was written during the Japanese occupation. It was a wonderful poetry book, and an important one to Koreans at that. If you have the chance to read it, please do.

73. Memoirs of a Geisha: 5/5 stars. Haley (one of my bffs) recommended me this book like 3 years ago. It’s her favorite and I kept saying I would read it. August was the N.E.W.T.S. challenge and this fit the category of “audiobook” as I listened to a fan read audio of it and then had to read the last 7 chapters. I completely see where my friend finds inspiration in her writing from this book! I really loved the sad story, the harsh reality of Japan, even if this book was more on the idealized version of WWII in Japan and how Geishas were. Some of the thinking of Chiyo I feel could be chalked up to white men ideal sexualization, but overall I really enjoyed this book! Plus the fan who read it was really into her characters and she made the experience really fun.

74. Be Prepared: 5/5 stars. When you’re poor, Russian, and have the All-American-Girls as your best friends, life is extremely hard. No one likes your Russian food, the smallness of your home, and listening to a language not their own. VERA NEEDS SOME FUCKING NEW FRIENDS. As someone whose best friend is Russian, has a sister-in-law who is Russian, and a nephew learning to speak Russian, some people are really insensitive and it drives me nuts. I know a lot of people are upset with this book because it’s not a “full memoir” and yet is described as a memoir. I’ll just pose the question, can you remember 1 month straight at 10 years old, from people to dialogue? No? Yeah, cut the book some slack. This has great representation in terms of Russian culture and learning through it from little Russian eyes.

75. Kiraide Isasete: 5/5 stars. It’s another gay manga.

76. I married my best friend to shut up my parents: 4/5 stars. While I appreciate this story is light-hearted, it seems a bit far fetched for my taste. Also the main character doesn’t believe she’s gay, so I find it hard that a) she would actually get married and b) would just readily fall in love with her friend when she’s literally had no sexual desire for anyone. But other than that, it’s a ridiculous love story and it’s to the point!

78. Heartstopper V.2: 5/5 stars. I already read this awhile ago but I finally got my copy! So I’m just putting it in my list!

79. Raven: 5/5 stars. Raven is the first installment of the origins of the Teen Titans characters. I really loved this novel since Raven has always been a dark character in the original show. This book explores her experience with death, coming to terms with her birth origins, and New Orleans with ancient magic. A great start to a series I’m looking forward to reading the rest of!

80. Heartless. 4/5 stars. A child is taken care of by a succubus (male) after a religious cult burns down a hospital to get rid of the succubus. This story is intense in the gore and horror, but pretty light in plot. There’s no real driving force behind the characters and what they do, no explanation, it’s all just there for the reader to assume it just happened. But the characters were dynamic and interesting with superhuman powers and abilities.

81. The Adventure Zone Vol. 2: 5/5 stars. Every time I see Madame Director I sigh in relief because she exactly looks how I envisioned her while listening to the podcast many years ago. The story line is short, I feel like some of the build up jokes are lost or the frustration Griffin has with his brothers and dad that make the podcast so hilarious are missing, but it’s a really beautiful comic and also a great way for people to start listening to TAZ and MBMBAM

82: The Wind in the Willow: 4/5 stars. An audiobook I listened to. I had the paperback but it was too much reading for my mind for a classic children book. When I found the option on Libby, I listened to it as I started my preparations for the start of my final semester as an undergraduate! It went by fast, the actors were in their characters and there were some songs performed. I really enjoyed it, even if Mr. Toad is ANNOYING AS FUCK. Would recommend for those wanting to kill 2 hours of their time.

83. Classmates: 5/5 stars. High school sweethearts? Can’t express their feelings well? Uh, sign me the FUCK uP.

84-108. W Juliet: 5/5 stars. I haven’t read W Juliet since I was in 7th grade. I remember that I loved it so much that when I was in high school I began collecting the volumes and proudly put it on my shelf. I used to have two bookshelves worth of manga, and when I grew older I sold them but only kept two series: Marmalade Boy and W Juliet (I’m gonna read Marmalade Boy next). I’ve been wanting to reread W Juliet recent and revisit Mako and Ito’s silliness, and with the long weekend I did. I was not prepared for the analysis it would give me to my own life. Like, holy shit. This manga series was so important in developing me who I was as a kid, (some of them very mild kinks that my rp friends are subjected to), the loss Ito has and her issues with gender and like 100000% me and how I don’t like masculine guys at all with their toxicity (hello Mako, you summer child boy). I honestly want to do a fucking research paper on this series with an analysis of myself because of how much I love this series and how I connect to it. You can bet your ass this manga is coming with me for the rest of my life.

109-117. Marmalade Boy: 3/5 stars. Marmalade Boy was the manga that started it all. I remember being 8, having found the manga section with my best friend, and we decided to share reading Marmalade Boy. I was so captivated by the story that I made her wait in the car at her house, refusing to let her have the book until I finished it. It was the final of the volume, and it wouldn’t be another 3 years until I read the series OUT OF ORDER. I kept rereading this series, picking it up, I remember it felt like watching a movie. As an adult? God this series is really awful. The characters are very annoying, the teacher is very creepy, the plot moves WAY too quickly, and no one knows what consent is. It’s fucking insane. 1-7 volume is trash, but the 8th volume really put to life in the characters. For one, they’re older, it's been a few years, and they can step back from the crazy lives of high school. If it wasn’t for the sheer nostalgia, I would be giving these books away. But you gotta pay respect to those books that introduced you to life changing moments.

118. Ouji to Kotori. 4/5 stars. An art student, a prince who buys him, trying to escape, foreign lands, a story that has a “romantic” but is open ended. I liked the flow of the story, the art, and the characters were actually believable.

119. Mean Girls Club. 3.5/5 stars. Mean Girls Club is a 1950s tale of girls rising against the patriarchy through sex, survivor, drugs, and murder. The art style is amazing. But the story line is flat and feels rushed. Not a favorite, but still pretty enjoyable.

120. Grumpy Monkey. 5/5 stars. Grumpy Monkey is the story of a monkey who wakes up grumpy. Despite everyone not believing he can be so grumpy on a beautiful day, him denying that he’s grumpy, and getting angry at people telling him HE’S grumpy, is such a goddamn mood. Nothing pisses me off more than people telling me my mood. You don’t know me. Fuck off. Anyways, this also felt like a mental health book for kids, letting them know it's ok to NOT feel ok. As long as someone is willing to listen and not wanting to fix your grumpiness.

121. Dia de los Muertos. 4/5 stars. A children’s informational book about the Day of the Dead. Short, simple, great education.

123. Wild Cherry. 4/5 stars. Wild Cherry is a poetry book I’ve been totting around for 2 months but have had no energy to pick it up. I’ve been very depressed that I haven’t had time to read, and despite me falling asleep right now, I forced myself to read it. It felt very repetitive after a while with her constant calling back to long lost love, death, and April, but I appreciated the 1923 themes that were NO doubt soo popular.

124. Through the Woods: 5/5 stars. A horror comic book that reminds me a lot of “Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark.” I lent it to my co-worker since he loves these types of stories!

125. Dancing with Mr. Darcy: 1/5 stars. I read the first story which was Jane Austen crossing the River Styx and facing her judgement and then I tried to read the rest and it was all so fucking boring??? I put the book down and will not be continuing.

126. The Night Diary: 5/5 stars. So this was an audiobook I listened to during the week I had awful vertigo. I couldn’t go to work or university and I laid on the couch, glasses off, just listening to this story. If it hadn’t been read to me, I don’t think I would have loved it as much. It follows Nisha who is forced to leave after WWII when India is split into New India and Pakistan. All muslims are allowed to stay, but all Hindus must leave for New India because of territorial wars. It follows the dreadful path during the desert, the violence they faced, and the child’s innocence slowly being robbed from her. It’s all told through Nisha’s diary who pens it to her mother. The voice actor did a wonderful job.

127. We Contain Multitudes: 5/5 stars. Tiny twink nerd falls in love with Giant Jock football star. And then he falls in love with the nerd and they’re hormonal and coming out and angst with love. I understand why people are upset with the novel: the plot twist seems like a total cop out that the author placed and a 15 year old dating a 18 year old can get borderline statutoary rape. However, I absolutely loved this book. It was refreshing to have a “coming out” narrative that wasn’t focused on coming out, but rather these two boys falling in love through letters, reading the cringe of HS romances, and desperately following these boys through it all. It’s definitely a favorite I read this year!

128. Lovely War: 4/5 stars. This is the third book I read while going through vertigo, and my second audiobook. It’s set during WWI, following two love narratives but told through the perspectives of the Greek God. It was really refreshing, the voice acting was excellent, and I really enjoyed listening while dizzy constantly. I would have given in a 5 star rating, but near the end, Hazel’s pixie-manic girl stereotype was getting out of hand and her hypocrisy was really fucking annoying. However, up until that point, I really enjoyed it and recommended it to several friends!

129. The Assassination of Brangwain Spurge: 4.5/5 stars. I really struggled not giving this book five stars, but I thought some of the narration and story-telling could have done a tiny bit better. This was a great audiobook to listen to while I packed and finished projects before my plane ride to my first ever work conference. I was bummed out that I couldn’t listen to this audiobook on the plane because Libby requires wifi, but I really enjoyed the fantasy comedy of this book (even though fantasy tends to be a topic I don’t dare approach because it just through you into a world with no explanation). 10/10 would recommend to strangers on the street.

130. Aaron and Ahmed: 4/5 stars. I read this books during my great “aaaAH I’M GRADUATING TIME IS UNREAL” So these will be short. A story about after 9/11 and the brutality American soldiers went to gain answers, even if there were none.

131. The Tea Dragon Festival: 5/5 stars. Dragons? Tea? LGTB+? Who could ask for more??

132. Roadqueen: Eternal Roadtrip to Love: 5/5 stars. Lesbians calling out how trashy other lesbians treat girls who generally like them. “Fuck Boy” was used a lot and I loved this.

133. Skull-face Bookseller vol. 1: 5/5 stars. A skeleton tries to sell manga and explores the crazy customers who come in, the social mistakes foreigners make with Japanese booksellers, and Honda-san doing her best to survive in her job.

134-136. Beastars Vol 1-3: 5/5 stars. I saw a bit of the anime and realized there was a manga. I bought the two volumes I could and then the third one from amazon. I really enjoyed this series and look forward to reading it more!

137. I hear the Sunspot Vol 2: 5/5 stars. It’s nice to see the couple going on, even if its GUT-WRENCHING and stupid how they refuse to communicate!!!!! But it hits hard topics of the community for the hard of hearing and functioning in a world where signing is considered not important enough to teach.

138. Pink: 5/5 stars. A sex worker who spends all her money feeding her alligator and the trouble she gets into. Weird art style and at first I opened this book and didn’t buy it. 3 months later, decided to buy it and I adored it.

139: Restless: 4/5 stars. I don’t remember much about it, but I think it was cute. Maybe boyfriends find each other again?

140. How can one sell the air?: 5/5 stars. I’ve had this “calling” to start really reading native american stories and heritage. This is a controversial book with Suquamish people as they either see their leader finally giving up or instilling courage to stay firm even as the world does their best to destroy them. I really enjoyed reading his speech.

141. Skull-face Bookseller Vol. 2: 5/5 stars. Honda-san comes back again with her friends and exploring working in the shop with more crazy customers but also with her new found fame being a manga artist.

142. Gold Rush Women: 4/5 stars. A lot of white women with these narratives, which was disappointing since most of the Gold Rush Women were indegenious or came from other areas of the world rather than just Europe or East America. Wish there were more stories on the black, mexican, indegineous, or chinese women who were forced into slavery or abused or helped create the west.

143. No one is too small to make a difference: 5/5 stars. Greta Thornberg amazes me. Here we have a 15 year old with aspergers who is doing her best to inspire scientists, politicians, and anyone in the world to take charge of our climate change issues. It also amazes me how many people are threatened by a 15 year old and she’s forced to repeat herself in her speeches because people refuse to listen to what she has to say. She’s amazing.

144. Ookami he no Yomeiri: 3.5/5 stars A bunny and a wolf get married. What more can I say?

145. Monody: 3/5 stars: Monody is a strange poetry book. The lyrical writing leaves lacking in terms of uniqueness and deep thought, but aesthetically it is beautiful. Blue font paired with geographical maps of Reno, Nevada, the poetry book comes off more of an art piece.

146. Usagi no Mori: 3/5 stars. Uhmmm. Don’t remember…

#2019 books #2019 book reviews #2019 book list #book reviews

28 notes · View notes

lightsandlostbells · 5 years

Text

Druck season 2, episode 1 reaction

we’re baaaaaack

I said I would finish my Skam S3 analyses before I caught up on the remake reactions, and I’m working on the one for 3.10 (the finale), but I also didn’t want to fall behind on another show. So here are some thoughts on Druck’s first week back!

Episode 1

Clip 1 - “Their tongues battled for dominance”

It’s the moment we’ve been waiting for, Druck has come back from the war. And our very first shot is an extreme closeup of some very tongue-oriented kissing, thanks for that.

Is it Matteo and a girl?

WAIT IS THAT KIKI AND ALEXANDER

HOLY SHIT

I definitely feel like Druck was playing with Skam fans’ expectations here. They know we’re expecting a kiss to open the season, but we’re expecting it to be Matteo and some girl, so Alex and Kiki throws us off. We’re also expecting Alex and Kiki to be completely over by now, not hooking up again - that changes the direction of the season, for sure.

I don’t know how much Mia’s issues will reflect Noora’s, but considering that Noora’s season opens with scandalous sex pics/media, and that it ties into not just what happens with Niko but Noora’s overall issues about sex that are threaded throughout the season, it’s kinda interesting to open with this sloppy kiss for Mia’s season, if she has similar hangups.

The lyrics of the song are on point:

You're a poison and I know that is the truth All my friends think you're vicious And they say you're suspicious

The other girls watch in horror and befuddlement, like the OG girl squad did with Isak. HI, GIRLS! Lovely to see you again. Sam is the only one who seems not entirely appalled by this coupling.

FUCK FUCK FUCK, Alex drives off in his car with Kiki. Kiki is so eager, staring at him with such wonder. It really makes you feel bad for her, when this dude was such a jerk to her previously! He apologized but he still acted like that! And now she’s back with him. Not great.

I guess this is an unpopular opinion, from what I can tell, but … I like Kiki. Not necessarily as a human being, I completely understand why people find her the least tolerable, meanest Vilde, but something about her character just feels real to me. Like this is a version of Vilde I completely buy as a person I’d meet in real life. Hell, she does remind me of people I’ve met in the past.

Lmao, the camera swivels between each girl, I guess to emphasize the confusion/bafflement in the group. Mia does not get what Kiki sees in him. Amira’s like, he’s hot. Sam’s like, what’s wrong, they’re finally together! Sam, my beautiful girl, they weren’t a sitcom couple. This wasn’t the will-they won’t-they flirtation of the century. They did, and it was a disaster.

Mia says they’re not a couple, Sam is like … but they spend every night together? This is kind of adorable coming from her, tbh.

Amira points out that Sam spends every night with her camel and Sam’s points out that they’re together! Lmao, I love this bit of continuity. Shout-out to Carmen!

Mia thinks Alex will drop Kiki once he finds another girl. Well, he probably will, it’ll just be Mia. Amira says, pfft, that’s all western relationships. Mia is like … do you want us all to become lesbians? Mia, there is a segment of your audience who would be completely OK with that.

Mia and Hanna air kiss and I know it’s not gonna happen but by God I wish it would. I’m so apprehensive about how they’ll handle Mia’s sexuality this season, with her smooching Hanna last season to get Axel off her back, but also her being bi via word of God.

Amira says she has to go to prayer. Mia asks whether Amira was just there? Amira says no and leaves. So maybe Amira is doing something else and keeping a secret from the girls? I guess one other possibility is that Mia (a non-Muslim) doesn’t realize how much Muslims are supposed to pray, but I think the first is more likely from a story perspective. Anyway, it’s small but I like little nods to Amira’s religion, things like her mentioning going to pray so it feels like it’s more integrated into her character.

Sam asks the girls to swing their legs and it’s super cute. It was also an IG story she made, so that’s a nice inclusion. It’s cool when they tie in the clips to actual social media posts (much like how Matteo posted a video of Hanna and Jonas last season that seemed to be taken within the clip itself).

People got seriously fucking mad with this clip, lmao, but honestly, it’s such a big departure from the original that I wasn’t pissed. There’s too much we need to know about how the Kiki/Alexander relationship will play out in the long run before I get angry at what’s happening.

In the credits after the clip, we see a pillow fight scene with the girls. I’m gonna guess that’s maybe a snippet from the Easter cabin episode (or whatever’s taking place of the cabin episode). I wonder if we also got a slumber party scene as a makeup for not getting the full girls’ sleepover in S1? It was just Mia and Kiki.

Clip 2 - Santa Claus is coming

Mia observes their toilet at home at German Kollektivet. It is gross. There’s pee all over the seat, what even looks like a curly hair??? I want to puke. I take it back, I’ll watch Kiki’s and Alex’s tongues for an hour if Druck never shows me anything like this toilet again.

Mia angrily stomps over to the bedroom of German Eskild (Hans) and bangs on the door. German Linn comes up to her, saying Hans has a visitor. Mia explains that Hans peed all over the toilet seat, Linn asks if she should clean it up. Mia says if they always do it for him, he’ll never learn. This is a small moment and not necessarily like, groundbreaking feminist commentary, but it’s why I have some faith in Druck for this season? Mia is adamantly against women cleaning up men’s messes (literally and certainly figuratively). I’m not saying she’s a perfect feminist, but she actually seems like a believable feminist teenage girl, with a lot of feminist principles that seem integrated into her life, which not all of the remakes have captured, imo.

Mia bangs on the door, Hans doesn’t open it, so eventually she does and of course Hans is getting his dick sucked. He’s wearing a Santa hat. There are so many directions you could take this joke that I can’t settle on anything, sorry.

I will say that I’m pretty sure there are multiple shitty Christmas slasher movies where the killer is driven to hack people up because they spied someone in a Santa costume having sex, and that scarred them for life or whatever, so Hans better watch his back. And clean up the toilet from now on.

Hans makes excuses for his wayward urine, Mia asks him to clean it up. Hans is like, tomorrow! Hans, people are probably going to use the toilet between now and tomorrow. It is not going to take you long to do the bare minimum and spray down some cleaner and then wipe it off.

Uhhhh the other dude who’s putting on his Santa jacket seems kinda cute. Good job, Hans? Except apparently the guy, Michi, is boring and talks too much about Trump, Nazis, refugees, etc. So bringing in those aspects of S2 a little early, which is nice and topical. (But lol @ Mia and Hans talking about how boring this guy is when the door is still open a crack.)

Mia asks why Hans meets with him then, and Hans says it’s because Mia is always in school and who knows what Linn is doing? He was lonely. And by lonely, let’s be real, he means horny. Something neither Mia nor Linn can satisfy for him.

Hans compares Michi to a boomerang: you throw him away but he always comes back. Mia is appalled by this. You all suck! Not “you all” as in gay people, “you all” as in men. Hans is like … well, you’ve got me there!

I liked that already, this scene ties into the plot thematically. Hans is basically doing the same as Alex, or at least what Mia thinks is happening with Alex. Hans is using Michi for hookups, Alex is using Kiki. Throwing her away, but like a boomerang, she comes back. Mia thinks what Amira said earlier about relationships is right. Guys are awful.

Hans didn’t make the best first impression here, with comparing Michi to a boomerang, and being dismissive of serious political issues, but I mean, this is only his first scene, and it’s not like Eskild’s first appearance revealed too much about him except that he thought Disney was a good fellatio soundtrack.

Clip 3 - Hello, Jotteo

Hanna and Mia walk to school. Mia says that her parents decided to go to Berlin without telling her, and they got into a fight. Her relationship with them is a nonstop cycle of arguing, basically. So Mia is going to do nothing for Christmas, basically, just stay at home and read - which sounds nice, personally, but also probably not that nice when it’s because you’re estranged from your family and have nowhere to go. Hanna is like, not on my watch! She invites Hanna to Christmas Eve with her and her dad. Yay, Hanna’s dad! I liked that guy, I hope we get to see him again.

Jonas and Matteo show up! Interesting because obviously Mia didn’t escape to Hanna’s yesterday to see Hanna and Jonas all snuggled up watching TV and talking about dating (like Noora did).

Hanna and Jonas seem a little awkward together. MY BABES. You still love each other!

Also, these are some fucking stoners, man. Are they high already? It’s like 8 in the morning. School hasn’t even started. They’re like, we have to go take a biology test! They’re laughing like this is the funniest shit ever.

Mia asks if Hanna has talked with him lately. Hanna is like, “Jonas?” at first, and I can’t wait to hear how that relationship is going (or not going) but Mia meant Matteo. Hanna has no idea how she’d bring up that they found porn on Matteos’ phone and that they think he’s crushing on Jonas. Mia is like, just drop in a subtle hint, like asking if he watches Queer Eye! Lmao, Mia, have you seen Matteo’s hair and wardrobe? Bless him, because I love this messy, perpetually stoned version of Isak, but if he’s watching Queer Eye he’s sure as fuck not taking inspiration from it.

Hanna says she and Matteo don’t have much contact lately, because of Jonas. It’s not working out just being friends and he doesn’t seem willing to give as much on his end. Mia asks if Jonas has a new girlfriend, Hanna says no, that they promised to tell each other when that happens. Something tells me that isn’t going to go so smoothly this season. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jonas gets a girlfriend but Hanna doesn’t hear about it from him. I mean, Eva didn’t hear about Jonas being with another girl straight from him, and they were on much better terms than Hanna and Jonas (superficially, at least).

Mia seems doubtful, too. I’m sure her current “Men are the worst” attitude isn’t making her more optimistic.

Clip 4 - Mia vs. Alex in class

Mia is in class. Kiki’s sitting next to her; Alexander is on the opposite side of the room; because he got held back, they’re in the same grade. Mia looks to him. I will note that Alexander does a kind of laugh to himself before he looks up, so maybe he sensed that Mia was scoping him out?

Mia, who is looking very pretty by the way, pulls up her shirt so it’s not baring her shoulders so much. I vastly appreciate that they did this part differently than in the original! In that one, William texts Noora that she looks good in the shirt, causing her to put on a jacket - it’s his direct advances and comment making her uncomfortable. In this scene, Alexander is just looking at her - which might make her uncomfortable but at least he wasn’t doing it in an overly lascivious way.

We also see him respond to that, and it’s hard to tell because he doesn’t avert his eyes totally or anything, but he doesn’t completely keep staring at her.

Like in Skam, their teacher is filmed below the neck, although this guy’s nipples aren’t the main attraction. Rather, it’s his festive reindeer sweater that draws the eye. (NGL, this gives me an idea for one of the S3 remakes where instead of checking out the female teacher’s boobs, the Isak is like … staring at his male teacher’s nips poking through a polo shirt or whatever.)

This is like a history/social studies class and the teacher has been talking about institutional oppression. He asks for comparisons between apartheid in South Africa and the Third Reich.

A girl is like, why can’t we talk about something relevant like Syria? Lmao, random girl, of course it’s important to talk about Syria, but what’s this insinuation that it’s not relevant to talk about past atrocities? This is part of why we study history, to draw comparisons between the past and present. Not to mention the repercussions of those periods are still felt today.

Mia and Alex’s argument about Israel being an apartheid state is more in line with how I think Noorhelm was meant to be, with the two of them having debates and William challenging Noora’s opinion. However, it never really worked for me because I felt these arguments leaned too heavily on not just like ... intellectual debate for the spirit of it, but Noora objecting to something William had done, and then William trying to argue why it was actually OK. There weren’t many debates about stuff unrelated to their relationship and William’s behavior, not much verbal and mental sparring for the pleasure of it. So maybe this isn’t an enjoyable debate, per se, but it’s at least a heated one between two parties with different strong POVs, on something besides trying to justify one’s own behavior.

When Alex quotes David Ben-Gurion, Mia says there’s a difference between a German saying that Israel is an apartheid state and an Israeli saying so. Alex is like, nah. Mia asks, so there’s no difference when I insult your sister and when you do? He seems to get a touch more serious and says while emotionally there’s a difference, practically there isn’t. No one should insult his sister.

People were reading very literally into this comment, that she’s aware of his sister, but I think she’s just presenting a hypothetical scenario as an analogy. It’s not that she actually knows he has/had a sister. It’s that her hypothetical scenario happens to have more baggage attached to it than she realizes. Assuming that Alex maybe has a dead sister, this is actually a very good moment! It makes sense why he’d get more emotional over her at this mention, like it struck a nerve even if it’s not what Mia really meant.

The teacher is like, thanks for your contribution, it totally misses the point! Lmao, between that comment and the reindeer sweater, I like this guy.

Behind Mia, Kiki seemed pretty into Alex’s talk, by the way.

As the class packs up, Mia says Alex is a dick, Kiki says he’s not and that Mia doesn’t even know him. He’s insecure and just wants his parents’ attention. Mia is like, lol, didn’t know he was sensitive and vulnerable. She says it like a joke, but Kiki takes it seriously and says it’s all a front.

Mia asks why Alex is repeating his grade, Kiki says he didn’t want to talk about it. INTERESTING. I know from a Doylist perspective, this is so they can keep Alex on the show rather than him graduating, but I really hope they integrate it into his characterization. But he also said it’s none of Kiki’s business so like, he’s still an asshole. Mia agrees with me. He doesn’t have to tell her but don’t be a shithead about it.

Alex accompanies Kiki out of the classroom and gives her his hand, but appears to shoot Mia a look as he leaves.

Clip 5 - Kiki’s a vegan

Mia rides her bike in the morning and passes Kiki on the street. They have class now, but Kiki still needs to go home and shower. Mia is surprised because they’re pretty far from Kiki’s house, meaning Kiki has to run even more. However, Kiki seems pleased about how much she’s run.

Mia invites Kiki to go shopping with her and Hanna, and Kiki wants to go somewhere with vegan croissants. Mia is surprised by Kiki suddenly being a vegan. Kiki explains that she saw a documentary - not about factory farming, but about how healthy it is. Although then she adds she thinks factory farming is bad when she sees Mia isn’t pleased - that’s a nice touch because Kiki seems like she thought Mia was judging her for not being politically aware enough, and that Mia’s going to go on an activist diatribe or something, when Mia is really concerned because of Kiki’s extreme workout and diet.

Mia clarifies that she thinks veganism is great, it’s just that Kiki is working out so much as well as becoming a vegan. She said they talked about it and Kiki needs to be careful about this stuff. Kiki says she doesn’t see the problem with eating healthy and doing sports.

I like that moment because it’s kind of toeing the line, like … well, what is wrong with working out and eating healthy? And Mia can’t quite object to that in itself. On the surface, Kiki is making it sound reasonable. It’s just that we know more is going on with her than simply adopting healthy lifestyle habits. She’s taking it way too far.

Clip 6 - Mia vs. Alex, take two

Mia sees Axel in school and confronts him, saying they need to talk. He doesn’t seem that into it. When she asks him what he’s doing with Kiki, he plays dumb, she tells him that she’s going to get her hopes up for something serious. Alex is all, define serious. He says that he’s hanging out with Kiki and no one else, so what else is he supposed to do, propose to her?

If he’s explained to Kiki that this is a FWB thing, then honestly, it’ll be on Kiki not to hope for something more serious. It’s certainly not the best course of action for him because of how he behaved last season, and he should know by now that Kiki will probably take it too seriously. However, if he’s made his stance clear to Kiki that this isn’t a serious relationship, then it’s on Kiki to listen to that.

I like that her posture seems more stiff and ramrod straight, and he’s leaning against the railing, relaxed. She’s on guard and trying to make a point to, he’s not threatened by what she’s saying.

He says “If I didn’t know you were a lesbian, I’d think you were jealous,” and arrrrgh. Best case scenario, this at least suggests he has been backing off Mia because he thinks she’s a lesbian and not approaching her, and he respects that. However, I don’t think he buys that she’s really a lesbian (and this is confirmed by the end of the episode) so it comes across like a taunt instead. “If I didn’t know you were a lesbian” is him being ironic because he doesn’t believe her.

Mia says if he hurts Kiki, she’ll kill him. She walks away and Alex seems more amused than anything. He better take her seriously, she’s seen Santa getting a blowjob so the desire to kill should be setting in any moment.

Clip 7 - Gym class

Mia and Hanna are in gym class. They’re on the bleachers. They are both faking having their periods because they hate volleyball and PE. I can respect the fuck out of that. Jonas is playing volleyball, and he and Hanna are having some awkward eye contact.

Hanna mentions that Kiki is a vegan now. She doesn’t get how one can go without meat, but Mia has more serious concerns about Kiki’s sudden veganism.

The girls talk about Alexander and whether he’s doing this thing with Kiki as a tactic to make Mia jealous. God, I hope not. I hope he legit thinks she’s unavailable and is trying to move on or something. Because even taking the end of the episode into consideration, he wasn’t pursuing Mia on his own. He wasn’t texting her, calling her, starting conversations with her outside of class, and it was when Mia kept initiating contact and pushing him that he said he’d break up with Kiki if Mia went on a date with him. I’m not excusing him for that, but best case scenario, he was doing this thing with Kiki without the end goal of exchanging her for Mia.

The ball flies at Hanna, Jonas comes to pick it up and says sorry. I truly hope that was an accident, because otherwise, dick move. Anyway, another little beat of awkwardness between the two.

Clip 8 - Christmas party

Party time! Linn sits on the couch, appropriately. She’s wearing a Santa hat, so she’s a little bit festive, at least?

The girls bake cookies, Hans seems to be making drinks. When Mia goes to the fridge, we get a nice glimpse of her, Hans, and Linn in some photo booth pics, awww.

Amira recreates the Salt Bae meme, which is fucking adorable, I love her.

Mia is a very pretty girl but I have to say that the styling is suiting her even more this season, and this is a really great look for her.

Kiki checks her phone. As we know from the social media, she had something planned with Alex. She’s sent some texts to him, but he’s ignoring her. Though I wonder if they actually had something planned, or if Kiki just assumed they did.

The doorbell rings and it’s Jonas, Matteo, and Carlos! I think they’re integrating the boy squad more into this season because they know fans love Jonas and Matteo, but that’s hardly something I’ll complain about. I live for more combined girl/boy squad content.

Hanna doesn’t seem totally OK with Jonas appearing - not like, shook to her core, but that she’s a little ruffled.

Carlos greets Kiki and says she looks good tonight and I don’t want to pair up any random boy and girl who interact, but if it will get her off Alex, then by all means, deliver us German Magnus/Vilde.

Mia asks Hans if he invited Michi (the guy from the BJ Santa clip) and he says no. Michi isn’t the kind of guy you date, he’s the guy you get to rim you. Well ... thanks for letting us know!

But it’s kinda interesting to me, because Hans is pretty dismissive and not complimentary of this guy, but at the same time… it’s his choice to just hook up with him and not go for anything serious. Mia seems like she’s meddling or judging a bit, disapproving of Hans doing this. I wonder if it’ll come into play later and if Hans will get as tired of Mia’s meddling as Kiki does. Still, it’s a nice parallel to her interfering with Kiki’s affairs, too.

This is a small, cute Christmas party, I dig it. The squads dance to All I Want For Christmas, the girls hug, it’s cute. Matteo sits at the table drinking, awww. Get up and dance, dude!

I wonder if Matteo not dancing is part of him checking himself not to be ~too gay? Or maybe he’s not in the mood because he’s been going through shit at home? Or he’s too drunk to get up? There are a lot of references to him drinking and getting stoned this season, and I mean, that’s not a great thing for him, but it’s a very interesting development in terms of what it will mean for his arc.

Hans and Matteo have met now! Maybe they didn’t talk much, but they were in the same room!

WHO WAS TOUCHING MATTEO’S HEAD, I CAN’T TELL

Matteo and Kiki share a moment where she’s singing to All I Want For Christmas at him and he’s just at the table. Are they actual friends or something? Elaborate, please!

Everyone’s having a good time until Hans suddenly cuts the music, then they’re angered. How dare he cut off Mariah!

Hans announces they’re going to the club and goes into the bathroom to take party drugs. He says he’s going to pee, but the others are aware he’s taking drugs. Matteo mentions that Hans said he partied last week and it took him 72 hours to notice that he didn’t eat anything. Oh no, Kiki’s going to latch onto that. Mia seems wary.

Later, after the party’s over, Mia is cleaning up when the doorbell rings. Kiki comes back in. She’s going to party with Hans and Sam. Cotton pads fall out of her purse. Wait, Kiki is eating them??? Uh-oh.

Mia asks her not to take drugs, she saw how Kiki reacted when they were talking about Hans. Kiki gets mad and asks why she doesn’t get on Hans’ case. Mia says it’s because Hans doesn’t eat cotton pads as a snack. Kiki gets very upset. Mia wants to know if this is because of Alexander.

Truthfully, I don’t think dating Alexander helps, necessarily, since Kiki will feel like she needs to be at her best to hold Alex’s attention, and if he’s not 100% interested in her, she’ll find the faults in herself rather than him. It doesn’t help that he’s already told her she’s not worth it, and even though he apologized, she might still feel the memory of that. But this problem with Kiki goes well beyond her dating Alexander. I’m not absolving him of everything, obviously, but I think she’d be engaging in these behaviors regardless of what he thought, even if it’s for his approval. Mia is using Alexander as a scapegoat here for a much broader issue with Kiki. Like I have no doubt that these problems originated before Alex.

Kiki yells at Mia to stop interfering in her life and that she’s obsessed. I’m really interested in what Druck is doing with these two, because there are two sides to this. I think when it comes to Kiki’s eating disorder, while Mia ultimately can’t control what Kiki does, she’s not wrong to mention her concerns. This is one situation where your friend’s health and physical well-being are at stake. Mia has likely been where Kiki has and recognizes the signs. When it comes to Alexander … Mia probably should back off by now. She’s made her case, she’s stated her concerns. Kiki is making her own choices with who she’s hooking up with. They may not be great choices but they’re Kiki’s to make. But mixing the two sides is that Mia thinks the relationship with Alex is exacerbating Kiki’s eating disorder, so Kiki’s romantic life is entangled with her health.

Mia lies in bed later. She goes through her text messages, first Hans, then Axel. If you look closely, you’ll notice that she sent something to him about the David Ben-Gurion quote being misattributed, which means they kept up the debate outside the classroom. Mia, I know you want to win the debate, but contacting Axel again to make your point isn’t going to convince him that you don’t care about him.

Mia texts Axel to leave Kiki alone. Again, this is messy because I think this is probably crossing the line, Mia’s said her piece already, and this is Kiki’s life. I’m glad they’ve emphasize that Mia thinks this situation is making Kiki’s eating disorder worse, though, because that is a very serious problem and if Mia thinks Alex is making it worse, then it’s easy to understand why she would keep intervening.

Mia is texting something like “Do you want to ...” before Axel writes back, and I’d be really interested to know what she was going to say.

Aaaand Alex wrecks a lot of the good will we wanted to give him by telling Mia he’ll break up with her if she goes out with him and admits she made up all the lesbian stuff. Ugh. So he’s a) willing to break up with Kiki and hurt her just to get with Mia b) putting pressure on Mia dating him c) not taking her being a lesbian seriously which is sadly a common attitude among straight dudes. Obviously lesbians can’t be real, it’s impossible for women not to want me men! Even if he thinks she made it up about her sexuality, he should fucking leave it at that. I mean, she made it up for a reason and that reason is that she doesn’t want to date him, take a hint. Whatever Mia’s flaws have been in this whole situation, that doesn’t let Alex off the hook, either.

We close on Mia from above in her bed, with some distance. I like that, it makes her seem smaller and less in control of what she feels she has to do.

General Comments/Social Media

I’m really happy to see this show back! So far this was a promising start; I think they’re working on some of the production issues of last season and listening to the fans, so that’s encouraging.

This week there was a TON of effort put into the social media, with many IG posts and stories and multiple text messages. There were also clips every day, sometimes more than one. This was a really smart choice, because the constant flow of content grabbed people’s attention - remember that one week in S1 where the show took an unexpected hiatus and people wondered if Druck had been cancelled mid-season? Not great for holding viewers’ interest. I very much hope they can keep up the steady roll of content - personally I would not be surprised if they tone it down a little after this week, and the large amount of content this week was to drum up hype for the show, but I hope we can keep it at higher levels than last season.

However, the constant content and the increased promotion seem to have worked, because the amount of views per clip and subscriptions to Druck’s channel have increased quite a bit! A lot of the clips seem to have as many or more views as clips from S1, which have been out for months. At the beginning of the week there was something like 63,000 subscribers to the channel, I think? As of writing this, they have almost 100,000. They gained more than 35,000 subscribers in a week. That’s incredible! I also noticed several of the clips and episodes were trending by the time I watched them, so that’s got to help attract new viewers. When there are new clips out frequently, they can keep trending, which will grab the attention of new fans. I poked through the comments and there seemed to be a LOT of people who are not existing Skam fans, but German viewers discovering Druck for the first time, which is amazing.

I realize it’ll be very messy with the timeline, but I hope that we can squeeze in at least one more season of this show, hopefully two so we can get both Amira and Matteo seasons. If the momentum keeps up, it’ll be a huge shame to end the show when it’s doing so well. Don’t pull a Julie Andem, Pola Beck. (Lmao, I’m willing to drop realism and pretend this is like Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Veronica Mars when they graduated high school after 2-3 seasons and then all happened to go to the same university.)

About Mia being a lesbian or bisexual, or having a romance with a girl - as much as I would love for this to happen, I’m not going to get my hopes up. I don’t want to be disappointed. What I do hope is that the stuff with Mia isn’t queerbaiting - I really hope that she isn’t straight. I get that she’s probably not going to be a lesbian and that she’ll likely end up with Alex, because otherwise it would be an enormous diversion from the source material, one that would not go over well with a big part of the fanbase that loves Noorhelm and is looking forward to seeing that story again. But let her be bi, at least. I get that it’s a pipe dream to hope for Mia/Hanna or Mia/Kiki, but let the f/f content be stronger than it was in S2 of Skam. Make it better than just drunken makeouts between ostensibly straight girls.

The thing is, I do understand if they have her get together with Alex. However you might feel about it personally, Noorhelm is a popular ship (S3 was the biggest internationally but I know S2 was huge in Norway) and there will be tons of people looking forward to it. So really, I’m not expecting them to throw out that relationship and the Mia/Alex endgame. Later in the season, I might change my mind. But right now, while I’m expecting some of the story details to change (as they already have), I’m not going to predict a radical overhaul of S2. I think I’ll be more disappointed if I expect them to reinvent this story so dramatically and they don’t. And if they do? I can be pleasantly surprised.

There’s going to be a fuck ton of drama this season in the fandom - hell, there already is - because Noorhelm is already polarizing, and we’ll be seeing people who still want this ship to succeed and people who don’t. But I do want to point out one thing: a huge amount of people, until the final clip, were being positive about Alex and Mia/Alex’s potential, pointing out ways they preferred Alex’s behavior to William’s. This included people who straight-up hated Noorhelm. I think this says a lot, that many people are willing to get on board with the pairing if it gets rid of the stuff they disliked about the original S2. Of course many others are never going to like this storyline, and many people who had high hopes then dropped them after Alex’s text message to Mia. We’ll see how fandom attitudes change or stay the same over the season.

I like how they’re characterizing Mia this season. They seem to have a clear idea of her motivations, they’re giving her flaws that seem naturally integrated into her character. One of the best ways to create a character, imo, is to think of their flaws and their strengths not as existing on completely separate spheres, but as personality traits existing together that have both positive and negative qualities. For instance, Mia is kind and protective of her friends, overall a positive trait, but that leads her to interfere with their lives, which can be a negative trait.

There were a ton of IG posts and text messages, both this week and before the season even started. I might have missed something - I didn’t expect Druck to hit me so hard with SM content, lmao.

One pre-season text had Hanna wanting to meet up with Jonas, and he initially agreed, but then when she asked for details he didn’t reply, and on the day of, he suddenly couldn’t meet. Oh, kids. This is such a different dynamic from Eva and Jonas in their S2, when they appeared to be on friendly terms and were hanging out together, totally platonic, nothing to see here!!! Unfortunately, Hanna and Jonas still have some friction.

There was a really excellent text message prior to the start of the season, about the girls meeting with college/career advisers at school. It did the double duty of both telling us about the girls’ aspirations and dreams for when they graduate, as well as exposing various difficulties and societal inequalities that they face. For instance, Kiki wants to go to university because no one in her family has done so before, but the adviser tried to talk her into some apprenticeships. Amira jokes that it’s because the adviser saw Kiki’s grades, but that also sees like an issue of classism - Kiki expresses interest in university but the adviser discourages her, possibly based on her background and not coming from a family that went to university. Sam wants to study fashion design and the adviser said that goal fits, presumably due to her personal style. With Amira we see blatant racism in the system, as she wants to become a chancellor, but the adviser laughs and singles out her hijab as a reason why she’ll find it difficult. Hanna was told to do better in school, continuing her academic struggles from her season (the Evas have never been great students). Mia, on the other hand, is told she could be anything. And true, I think Mia’s supposed to be a good student, but note the disparity in that a young white girl is told her future is full of limitless possibilities, whereas Amira (who I’m pretty sure is also a good student) is told how she’ll struggle to achieve her dreams.

I think that sort of sets up some of the tension to a degree with Mia’s character. I’m not sure how much we’ll go into this, but Mia (and the Nooras) have frequently been like the golden girl of Skam. Like I agree that S4 made a lot of mistakes in giving Noora too much importance at the expense of Sana, but I also think there was an awareness that Noora was perceived so differently than Sana even though in many ways they were similar, because of racism, and how Sana knew this and was hurt by it (it was just that S4 was a weird mishmash of knowing this and portraying it critically, and indulging in Noora’s greatness and playing it straight). So we could have that with Mia and Amira at some point. But also, I think this is a big issue with Mia and Kiki (and Noora and Vilde). Because we saw Vilde basically have to deal with Noora being seen as a “better” version of her. For example, Vilde planned to tell off William and have that as her big moment; but William tore her down and Vilde ran off in distress, and it was Noora who stepped up to roast him and put him in his place. What Noora did was great but it snatched Vilde’s moment. Noora is pretty and skinny, she stuffs herself with pancakes and is model thin, something that Vilde aspires to be. Vilde has a crush on William and he uses her and throws her away; Noora gets William’s attention and she doesn’t even want it, then ends up in a serious relationship with him as William decides Noora is the girl worthy of his loyalty. We saw a lot of this play out with Mia and Kiki already in S1. Now in S2, the tension between the two is going even harder than with Noora and Vilde. Vilde never snapped at Noora the way Kiki does in this episode. Honestly out of everything, I think I’m most interested in seeing how that relationship develops over the season. Remember that Mia is the only one who was there to help Kiki with her pregnancy scare last season, so now they’ve got this other big situation and secret between them.

Girl Sam invited one of the boys to the Christmas party, but it’s not clear from the texts which of them it was. I’m pretty sure it was Jonas since he says Sam invited them in the clip, but still, that’s one downside of Druck’s text system, we can’t always tell who the conversations are between. Although on the other hand, I do think there are instances where that ambiguity could add some suspense and mystery. (She greets mystery boy as “Hi bitch!” which is pretty funny and suggests they are on reasonably friendly terms.)

I wonder if Sam invited the boys on behalf of Hanna? Then Jonas would have an excuse to hang around Hanna without the pressure of it being one-on-one, or seeming too much like a date/like they were back together. And he might respond more positively to a “neutral” party like Sam rather than Hanna, with all their history.

By the way, Hanna had a pic of her and Jonas before the season started that’s like “When lovers become friends!” and she looks significantly happier about it than he does.

Carlos (the Elias from S1) got an IG and his name (car_lospolloshermanos) is a Breaking Bad reference. I remember him as being fairly decent and not too shitty in S1, so it’d be nice to see him as a member of German boy squad.

Kiki posts a pic of her healthy vegan meal and Matteo responded by posting his currywurst. Lmao, so they’re friendly enough that they can have this banter???

Matteo posts a bunch of memes on his IG. How Isak of him.

Amira had some utterly beautiful pics of her summer where she’s riding a camel and visiting the pyramids in Egypt.

There were so many Christmas party pics and videos! I loved the effort put into it. The kids were adorable.and the activity made it feel more like an actual party.

We’ve had Skam and the remakes take place on holidays, but never on Christmas, so I’m quite excited to see what Druck gives us! Even if it’s just Mia, Hanna, and Hanna’s dad chilling out, that’ll be good enough for me. Plus, we should get New Year’s too - what if we get a clip that drops around midnight on New Year’s Eve?

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

I’m not German, so if I missed any language or cultural context, feel free to let me know!

#druck reactions

29 notes · View notes

bisexualshrug · 5 years

Note

Uh has anyone given you the OTP numbers either SUPERIOR SHIP Paige & AJ? Cause if not I’m giving it to you. 11. 14. & 17. The ultimate lesbians.

11. Do they get married? Who proposes and how?

Okay so Paige and AJ are JUST friends. I mean, technically, they are BARELY even friends. So they are absolutely NOT in love. That’s ridiculous. Actually, Paige just finds AJ really annoying, but AJ like...won’t leave her alone. So, they hang out or whatever. But not because Paige WANTS to. It’s like...forced on her, alright? Back off.

So, anyways they’ve been kinda friends (NOT in love though) for years. And all of the sudden AJ is pestering her every day about how AJ is lonely and sad when she goes back home. And they should just move into together. Because Paige flies home with AJ more than she goes to her own home (Paige would argue this was not true...she could be wrong). And they are best friends so they would be great roommates. So, after weeks of constant badgering, Paige is like ugh okay fine whatever. Let’s live together. And AJ is happy and excited and kisses Paige on the cheek which is gross and DOESN’T feel nice.

And then AJ is like ok! Let’s pack your stuff and move into my place in Colorado. And Paige is like...don’t you live in New Jersey?? And AJ is like nope ! Moved to Colorado a month ago. Which is exactly when AJ started pestering Paige about moving into together. Which is weird. And makes Paige a little paranoid but whatever fine. Paige doesn’t really care where they live because they’ll be on the road most of the time anyway.

So they move in together in Colorado. And it’s kind of weird. I mean, Paige and AJ aren’t there often. But whenever they are, all the couples in the apartment complex wanna go out with them? And it’s very double date like but AJ assures Paige that everyone knows it’s not. But AJ always grabs Paige’s hand on the not double dates and clings to her and kisses her cheek again. Which is all gross and weird...but Paige just doesn’t push her off because hurting AJ is basically just kicking a puppy. And Paige doesn’t wanna look at her dumb completely NOT cute pouty face.

But everyone in the entire complex is ALSO really weird. They stop her in the hallways and are like “How are you and AJ doing? Still happy? Going strong?” And like...why are these people so intense about roommates?? Paige just lives with AJ. And travels with her. And works with her. And spends almost all of her time with her. But none of that involves sex so they clearly are not dating. And sex with AJ? Ew no no no. Paige is NOT attracted to her. She’s especially not attracted to AJ when she climbs into Paige’s bed at night in extremely tiny shorts and insists they need to cuddle and- whatever okay she doesn’t need to justify herself to you

But then she’s walking back to their apartment with food from AJ’s favorite takeout place one day and their neighbor stops Paige and tries to have a conversation with her. Which is mostly just annoying bc Paige is hungry and also AJ is waiting for her and this is supposed to be their last night at home before going back on the road. But anyways Paige is half listening to this lady when she suddenly asks “How is your wife doing?” And Paige is like great this woman doesn’t even know who she is. So Paige is like “Oh, you must be mistaking me for someone else. I’m Paige. I live in this apartment right here.” And the woman laughs “Oh yes. With your wife! Short one, quirky but very sweet.” Paige freezes and is like “excuse me a moment.”

And then rushes inside her apartment. AJ sees her and grabs the food and kisses her on the cheek. And Paige just stares at her in disbelief. And finally forces out “Why did our neighbor think we’re married?” And instantly AJ drops the food on the counter and freezes. Paige can already feel a migraine coming on. AJ slowly turns around and laughs “About that” and then makes a run for the door. But Paige grabs her by the waist before she can escape and wrestles her down to the couch.

And what follows is the most insane story Paige has ever heard in her entire life. AJ was...trying to common law marry Paige....behind her back. Without telling her!!! Without dating her!! AJ has been trying to MARRY her for MONTHS. She told Paige that she did research and in Colorado the requirements for common law marriage are cohabitation (check), a reputation of being married (check...thanks to AJ telling everyone in their apartment complex of their common law marriage), conduct which demonstrates intent (okay how the HELL did AJ file their taxes as joint MARRIED and Paige DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT IT), and the final one being consent. AJ said she had everything but the last one, which she was working on.

Paige sits on the couch in disbelief, frozen still for an entire 15 minutes. No movement. No speaking. Just staring at the wall. AJ is... she’s CRAZY. She’s INSANE. What the HELL is wrong with her??? Paige is just going to stand up, pack her things, and move the hell out of this apartment. Get the hell out of here while she still can...Wait why isn’t she standing?? GET UP. LEAVE. GET OUT OF HERE. FREE YOURSELF WOMAN.

But the only thing Paige can do is turn and look at AJ. Who is staring at her worriedly with tears in her eyes. Nervously playing with her hair, but eyes never wavering from Paige’s.

Oh God. Why. Why Why Why

Paige kisses her.

14. Are there any love rivals?

Paige hates CM Punk with a burning fiery passion. Because AJ has this almost hero worship, mentor relationship with him going on. “Oh Punk is so funny. He’s so smart. Did you watch his match last night? Pipebomb pipebomb pipebomb.” If Paige hears “Punkie” one more time she’s gonna punch a hole through a wall.

AJ does not do all of this on purpose because Paige is hot when she’s jealous. And Punk is definitely not in on it (he is. They’re both evil shits).

17. Describe or write a really fluffy scene.

I’m going to save writing an entire Paige/AJ scene later. Although that day might very well come. But not today. Because my marriage description answer was already too god damn long sdlsd

Here’s a description of After Paige Finds Out about the common law marriage. After Paige composes herself, she gives AJ a long, emphatic lecture about how it’s wrong to marry people without their permission and shouldn’t you already be aware of this?? And AJ very seriously listens to her the entire time, looking like she’s absorbing information she’s never heard of before in her entire life. And at the end AJ is just like “Gotcha. No more marrying you behind your back. Makes sense.” And Paige is like how the hell do I wanna kiss this girl right now and not get a restraining order??

But she DOES just want to kiss AJ. And sitting here thinking about it? Okay she also probably wants to hold AJ’s hand more and go on (real) dates and buy AJ chocolate on Valentine’s Day and not ever move out. All the gross disgusting couple stuff. Oh and sex. Yeah absolutely she wants sex. 100%.

So after finishing her lecture she asks AJ out on their first official date. And AJ squeals loudly and literally leaps in Paige’s arms, legs wrapped tightly around her waist. And Paige closes her eyes and tries to clear every single dirty thought out of her mind. Because they haven’t even been on a date yet, and Paige knows how to treat a woman.

So Paige plans out the date and they get ready in their separate rooms. And Paige snuck out earlier that day and bought AJ this comic series she knows AJ has been wanting for weeks. So she knocks on AJ’s room door and hands AJ the comics. And AJ geeks out and Paige is barely able to stop her from canceling the date to hide away in her room until she’s read the entire series. Then, AJ kisses her in thanks and Paige can feel herself grinning like an idiot. She schools her features back into place bc she’s not some schoolgirl with a crush here.

Paige takes AJ to an arcade and AJ is like an excited kid. Literally, she spends part of the night actually playing an actual child at airhockey and losing (on purpose to make the kid smile). And Paige plays games with her too but watches her sometimes. And it’s fun. But God...AJ is so beautiful. The night is perfect. AJ has a blast. And she’s carrying around the biggest armful of tickets in the entire place. She’s passing by kids who are staring at her tickets in literal awe.

Then...before they get to the counter. A fan comes up. She’s a little girl. Maybe around 7. And her Mom says she’s AJ’s biggest fan. And AJ grins so wide and shoves all her tickets into Paige’s arms. She scoops the girl up into a hug and excitedly starts talking to her. Even though they were about to leave, AJ plays a few games with the girl and then takes a picture with her. Gives her one last hug. Then walks over to Paige. She takes her tickets back. But then she walks back over to the girl and gives the girl all of her tickets.

The Mom is beyond thankful and the little girl looks at AJ like she’s her superhero. And then AJ walks with her to the counter. The little girl happily gets one of the biggest prizes on the shelf and thanks AJ with the tiniest, cutest voice Paige thinks she’s ever heard. The Mom and daughter leave after that and AJ skips back over to Paige happily and kisses her on the cheek. She asks if Paige is still ready to go and Paige just stares at her and nods dumbly.

AJ smiles and grabs her hand, tugging her out of the arcade. On the way back, AJ mentions how cute the girl was but says nothing else about it. Instead she talks happily about how much fun the night was with Paige and how perfect of a first date it was.

And Paige drives the car trying her best to listen. But the only thing she can think about is how kind AJ was to that little girl. And how she doesn’t think a single other person on the WWE roster (herself included) would have done all that. And AJ did it without a single hesitation. When she didnt have to. God help her.

This woman is absolutely crazy. But...maybe.. it wouldn’t be so bad to be married to her after all..

#bc idk what to tag them as #paige/aj #paige #aj lee #this is long as FUCK #damn #i love them #OG lesbians #rheaschild

11 notes · View notes

obeetlebeetle · 5 years

Note

Do all the dnd asks!

1. A favorite character you have played.

done!

2. Your favorite character that someone else has played.

o my god.. this is so hard, my group makes really good characters! for each of them:zach - nickels!! trauma child kenku weirdo who sold their soul to talk.. who grew up to be an angry pirate who adopted a child on impulse.ari - lael, obviously. they have a half-elf complex, a good chunk of their personality is being the kid that catches lizards, and they have a robot arm.lemon - honestly? jj devinyl. i mean, john mulaney as a tiefling cleric who loves his wife and is also going completely insane? yeah.bree - i.. love layla. she’s a good-aligned cleric to an evil god and her and kellan are the cutest couple in dnd tbh.connor - guardian is a robot.

3. Your favorite side quest.

o fuck!! y’all.. it’s bufo. it’s the fact that my talking toad npc was so lovable that they unlocked the quest in which his mother hunts him down and tries to kill him so that she can live forever. they killed her ofc and bufo was untransformed into a handsome.. halfling.

4. Your current campaign.

i’m running a murder mystery set aboard an airship! with strong cosmic horror elements! and i’m playing in a large-scale epic about spies caught up in the very start of a continent-wide war.

5. Favorite NPC.

also a very hard question. on one hand, jean is my actual boyfriend and also a literal angel assassin. on the other hand, nika is a child god trapped in an amulet whose super god power makes people trip which is so fucking funny. back around to the first hand, which is now the third, aengus is so well-done as a villain that he’s almost scared me in my real-life actual heart and yet he’s an a huge loser with breakup trauma, which is objectively also so fucking funny. on my fourth hand, fela is my most important npc who i’m probably in love with and she’s been in every one of my campaigns. on my FIFTH hand--

6. Favorite death (monster, player character, NPC, etc).

done!

7. Your favorite downtime activity.

done!

8. Your favorite fight/encounter.

that time nasuada beat lumley up in her own dumb-ass head, and lumley’s response was to find this super hot.

9. Your favorite thing about D&D.

getting together and spending time with my friends! or maybe that it lets me be creative without the stress writing gives me.

10. Your favorite enemy and the enemy you hate the most.

fav enemy is def aengus!! like wow he’s fucking terrifying!! and i hate yin&yang the most, they were so creepy and cruel and they were never really punished.

11. How often do you play and how often would you ideally like to play?

i dm once a week these days, and i play sporadically. thesis year has been hard on me! but ideally i would love to dm twice a week and play in one or two steady campaigns, or dm once a week with regular one-shot sessions!

12. Your in game inside jokes/memes/catchphrases and where they came from.

o.. there’s a lot?? my favorite is “honeyclaw pissed on lenthol” bc our barbarian thought it would be a good idea to climb into the robot piloted by the “big bad” (or so we thought at the time), and then to sell her bluff that she was looking for the bathroom, she just...... pissed herself >:(

13. Introduce your current party.

as a dm: lael (half-elf magitechnician who bases their mad science off of cool bugs); guardian (robot paladin on his third life, basically robocop with light existential crises); senhora (brash and kind-hearted by turns, an elf who [REDACTED] before becoming a ranger and bonding w a wolf); jj devinyl (a tiefling cleric who does stand-up comedy and loves his wife); and percy (an android with identity issues, driven by curiosity, and love for magic, and literally no qualms about threatening to kill her friends).

as a player:rowan (the last prince of a lost kingdom and also the saddest, gayest boy in town); ko&kokumo (my elf boy whose soul split in two after leaving his warlock patron, driven by nosiness and romance respectively); honeyclaw (a tabaxi pro-wrestler who deserted her life as a child soldier, pissed on lenthol); peitho (the surprisingly wholesome god of sex, was kinda into the tactics of being a spy before he got distracted by p*ssy); and lumley (the dumbest baby lesbian ever o my god, she’s the daughter of a powerful river goddess and she still can’t get a date).

14. Introduce any other parties you have played in or DM-ed.

that would take me one million years.

15. Do you have snacks during game times?

yeah!! traditionally we take a halfway break at 9 and all go get snacks together, it’s great.

16. Do you play online or in person? Which do you prefer?

i prefer in person, but we play online a lot, and we’ll have to be only online once we graduate.

17. What are some house rules that your group has?

we round up score mods from odds and we don’t pay attention to like.. most of the little rules. it’s more abt the storytelling. (which is why we may switch to a different system if i can seduce them away.)

18. Does your party keep any pets?

o yeah, i think almost every group has had an animal companion. and if not, zach always plays a furry.

19. Do you or your party have any dice superstitions?

a lot of us roll specific sets for each character!

20. How did you get into D&D? How long have you been playing?

i got into dnd in high school bc i liked a boy who watched community, and then i watched community, and the dnd episode fucking rocked. never got past making characters and one botched attempt at a session. then in my first year of college, i joined the dnd club and i’ve been playing since! so like, three years and some change.

21. Have you ever regretted something your character has done?

ya lol i play very much how my character would act and tho that usually goes well for me.. ko wanted to break his pact with aengus despite the Consequences and i didn’t. but overall i think the outcome has been a lot of fun!

22. What color was your first dragon?

silver! just introduced them, actually!

23. Do you use premade modules or original campaigns?

all original, baby.

24. How much planning/preparation do you do for a game?

a ton. as a dm i write........ a lot. i want to have a lot of vivid characters, solid plots, and a huge interwoven world. so my docs are always huge and take me months to finish.

as a player i do less bc players just inherently have far less to do. but i still try put a ton into really developing my character so i can play them more naturally.

For DMs

25. What have your players done that you never could have planned for?

in my first campaign, i used a lot of weird memory spells to keep characters from remembering the big bad, because him being unremembered was a HUGE plot point for me. i had two different groups playing in the city at the same time, and one of them.... had this dragonborn who just liked to talk to plants and who hated nobles, and who fucking cast MAGIC MOUTH on their FANNY PACK to record that big bad so that it COULDN’T BE FORGOTTEN. MAGIC MOUTH. THAT’S THE SPELL THAT BROKE ME.

26. What was your favorite scene to write and show your characters.

i’ve really liked a couple, but i know i haven’t topped the finale for my first campaign. after finally the groups finally came together and killed Shargaas, the city began to crumble around them, and they all watched me set a ten-minute timer for them to figure out how to get away with their lives.

27. Do you allow homebrew content?

o yea, i adore MFOV particularly.

28. How often do you use NPCs in a party?

o there are always a couple kicking around.

29. Do you prefer RP heavy sessions or combat sessions?

we don’t really.. do... that second thing....

30. Are your players diplomatic or murder hobos?

yes.

For Players

31. What is your favorite class? Favorite race?

o fuck. uh probably wizard. and i love................. half-elves.

32. What role do you like to play the most? (Tank/healer/etc?)

i really like long-distance damage dealers.

33. How do you write your backstory, or do you even write a backstory?

i always start with a concept and then i just write an entire novel ell em ay oh.

34. Do you tend pick weapons/spells for being useful or for flavor?

done!

35. How much roleplay do you like to do?

like, 70% rp, 30% jokes,

#shadiekid

4 notes · View notes

retro-pure-jdonica · 6 years

Text

Everything Wrong With The Peathers Pilot

Ok so I wrote this as I was watching the pilot so there’s probably a lot of spelling errors but just bear with me here

CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER PLOT ISSUES

The episode opens by playing Que sera sera and zooming in on a croquet set on a front porch before going into the house where we see Shannon Doherty with a red scrunchie, all things that suggest that Heathers (1989) occurred and this is Heather Duke now but then they’re like lol jk that’s jds mom

Speaking of jds mom, they have her kill herself by lighting the house on fire and shooting herself, nothing involving his father’s business which messes with why jd dislikes his father

They COMPLETELY switched the characters of Heather McNamara and Heather Duke. When Heather McNamara starts talking in the lunchroom Heather Chandler says “god Heather, are we already making this about you?” But says nothing bitchy to Heather Duke

Heather Chandler is some social justice warrior and it’s awful. We meet Ram when he is in the cafeteria wearing a shirt that says “Remington squaws” with a (very very red skin toned) depiction of a Native American and Heather is like “ummmmm that’s so offensive. I know that kid over there and he is 1/16th “First Nations peoples”” and when the kid stands up to say it doesn’t offend him she yells at him “this isn’t about you” (bonus in the background they tried to recreate that airy chime kinda music from the original and its shit)

J.D. has been in Sherwood for a while. He doesn’t move from school to school because of his dads business, he keeps getting expelled

At the art exhibit (equivalent to Remington party/Kurt homecoming party) Veronica meets this guy named Jacob who they very purposefully dressed like jd (trench coat, dark hair) and then she asks him if he has a car and then it cuts to him eating her out in a car while she sits on her phone?????? I don’t even know?????

Instead of throwing up on Heather Chandler, Veronica dumps a giant bottle of hull clean on her

Jd and Veronica don’t have sex???? They are in no form of relationship so when jd kills Heather Chandler, Veronica has absolutely no reason to stay with him at all which is just SHIT PLOT PEATHERS GET IT TOGETHER

Jd has only lived in THREE states, NOT SEVEN, NOT TEN, THREE!!! They totally screwed over his background with this and with his mom’s Suicide so now he only has shitty motives. Also, his dad isn’t Big Bud Dean Construction, it’s Big Bud Dean Oil and Gas????

Jd and Veronica don’t give Heather Chandler a bottle of drain cleaner, he pulls an ich luge type thing with some “vomit inducing pills Hitler carried around”. Then when Heather Chandler “dies” he’s like oh crap I must have given her the wrong pills but it’s GENUINE. JD SERIOUSLY DID NOT TRY TO KILL HEATHER CHANDLER but then SURPRISE at the end of the episode we see Heather Chandler wake up because she actually didn’t die because jd did give her the vomit pills, the pills just somehow made her pass out which they weren’t supposed to. Also, she saw that Veronica and jd tried to fake her Suicide (they posted her Suicide note on Instagram and she would remember them coming to her house) but then sees that the post got 27 million likes so she decides to not snitch them out because she’s famous but from now on ANY PERSON THAT “KILLS THEMSELVES” AND JD AND VERONICA SET UP TO LOOK LIKE A SUICIDE, HEATHER CHANDLER WILL KNOW IT WAS JD AND VERONICA SO I DONT KNOW HOW THEY’RE GOING TO DO ANYTHING WITH THAT BUT ALRIGHT

You may be thinking, how did JD get Heather Chandler to take a pill? Well, HE PUT IT IN A BAG OF CORN NUTS AND DARED HER TO EAT THE WHOLE BAG IN FIVE SECONDS OR ELSE HE WOULD POST A PICTURE OF HER WITH A NAZI CAP ON. Also on this topic, they had Heather Chandler start gagging before crashing through the glass table but she shouldn’t be gagging, if anything she should be choking from the food and she would have bitten into the pill while eating the corn nuts and it’s a whole mess peathers please get your story straight

At school after Heather Chandler’s “suicide” all of the students are like “omg this is so sad(for the most part, they are still kinda making it about themselves)” and Mrs. Flemming is like “look at all of the publicity about this” which is just??? So wrong????

After Heather Chandler “dies” Betty Finn takes over the role instead of Heather Duke???? AHHHHH WHAT and when Veronica invites betty over for croquet she’s like “Ummm, I’m busy” like wtf peathers you cant make up an ENTIRELY new character and just call her Betty??? This Betty does not have a single similar characteristic to the original Betty except for the fact that she and Veronica were friends in elementary school, like this Betty used to be friends with Heather Chandler and UGH

Okay jd SMILES while telling Veronica in detail how his mother killed himself, Do I even need to explain how wrong this is??

MISUSED AND ALTERED QUOTES

Lick it up fatty, lick it up (bonus, which was followed by: d-did you just fat shame me in public??)

If you’re gonna openly be a flooze

What is your bother wound, Heather? (What does that even mean????)

Corporate monogamy keeps me sane

Big Bud Dean Oil and Gas

I’m gonna be experimenting with lesbianism at (some place) instead of (another place)

SHITTY REFERENCES

The matches jds mom uses to light the house on fire say “hot probs” on the box

At the art exhibit, Veronica and Heather Chandler go to, two of the pieces are a bottle of “hull clean” liquid drainer and a massive replica of the book “The Bell Jar”

Big fun is a chip brand

MISCELLANEOUS

They replaced “very” with “just” and only in this episode they said just 4 times, JUST IN THIS EPISODE

J.D. literally says the phrase “my dear” 4 times JUST IN THIS EPISODE and he’s giving off these Walmart Great Value knockoff type Leonardo DiCaprio Romeo and Juliet vibes and I hate it it’s so weird

Heather Chandler refers to Ram as “the Auschwitz of hate that goes on in Westerburg”

Heather McNamara isn’t even a lesbian! She lied about it to seem cool (Do I even need to explain how terrible and inaccurate and demonizing this is?)

Heather Duke literally says “oh my clit”

Heather Chandler literally says “what the queef”

“Let’s snort Adderall, make out, and get slushies”- JD, again, do I even need to explain?

Kurt gives Ram all of the shit jd and Veronica use at the fake Suicide in the movie to cheer him up (the candy dish, stud puppy, etc) also if you haven’t heard by now, Kurt is gay

Okay, at the 7-11 when JD is saying “a pile of dirt” he looks Veronica up and down liKE WHAT?????

“Sad face emoji, pill emoji, the powerful last words of Heather Chandler” -some teacher

When jd and Veronica are going to post a video on Heather Chandler’s Instagram to make the Suicide more believable (Okay it literally pained me to write that), Veronica says “oh my god I can’t believe we’re doing this, also trim the video it will get more views if it’s under ten seconds”???? This is so terrible (bonus jd responds to this with “That’s my girl” and ew) (bonus bonus after they finish setting up the Suicide Veronica says “come on, we’re gonna be late for school” ugh peathers stop making the show into a massive joke)

FOR LIKE A THIRD OF THE EPISODE VERONICA IS WEARING THESE OVAL SPARKLY BLUE SUNGLASSES AND THEY LOOK LIKE THEY’RE STRAIGHT OUT OF 2007 AND I HATE IT

When writing in her diary, Veronica starts to write “I’m just a … girl who has been manipulated by a guy into-“ which is very true for actual Heathers but then cuts off and says “no that sounds like I’m enforcing gender stereotypes” and I don’t know if that was supposed to be some shitty commentary about the original but WHAT

They tried to pull a dream scene for Veronica where everything is weird but it was terrible, everyone was wearing red plastic glasses and pointing at Veronica and pop music was playing, it was a mess

Okay the Heathers keep doing this thing where they unnecessarily say the other one’s name while talking (like in the opening for Heathers (1989) where Heather Chandler says “no Heather, it’s Heathers turn” but they do it almost every single line and it’s really annoying)

Also I don’t know if this was on purpose, judging by the mental capacity of the producers it probably wasn’t, but after Heather Chandler dies when Betty is walking down the hall with her gang it plays the same music that was playing when the Heathers first walk into the cafeteria and I don’t know if that was meant to show that Betty is officially the new Heather Chandler but I HATE IT

When Veronica goes to jds house after Heather Chandler’s “death” jds dad walks in with a FUCKING SHAKE WEIGHT and they do the weird father-son switch thing but jd gets his dad to leave by saying some shit like “your presence was wonderful but my girlfriend and I would like to engage in sexual intercourse now” and just, what the fuck?????

YO I DONT KNOW HOW THEY GOT AWAY WITH THIS BUT FOR THE CLOSING FRAME THEY JUST SHOW THE WORD HEATHERS AND LITERALLY PLAY A SLIGHTLY SHITIER VERSION OF THE STRANGER THINGS OPENING TRACK BUT ITS ALMOST THE EXACT SAME

Just FYI, this in Arial font size 11 is FOUR PAGES LONG and this is just the first episode

#heathers #peathers #not my heathers #heathers 2018 #heathers tv show #heathers the musical #burn it #kill it with fire

1K notes · View notes

the-voice-of-hell · 3 years

Text

Rent is Theft, part 21

Read from the beginning here, read the previous chapter here. Note: My MC is a Filipina trans woman and I am not. If you have notes on that or anything else, hit me up.

***

When I woke the next day, head aching as bad as I expected, but there was a sort of pulling sensation I didn’t quite get. I pawed at my temples. There was a fresh wrap on my head that I did not remember putting there. Leimomi must have done it in my sleep, and maybe a bit tightly. I adjusted it.

Then I realized that meant she would have had at least a few moments alone with that fucking bitch Reverse Courtney. I was very alarmed by that. What if she made it seem like that was my inner thoughts, that her hateful trash was my real feelings? I couldn’t stand that.

Leimomi was nowhere to be seen. I stood up too quick, grabbed my head, and staggered around a moment. She appeared in the doorway, all clean and wrapped up herself, the daylight lining her body. She looked at me in concern, and I searched her face for a hint of Reverse Courtney trauma.

“Did my stupid-ass head mouth say anything mean to you when I was asleep?”

“I think so, but I don’t remember. I only had it out for a moment, and I covered it. I was real tired.” She came into the darkness with me and held me in her arms. “Are you OK?”

I closed my eyes. “Real hungover, but really good too.” I lolled my head at unpleasant memories. “I’m gonna try to forget my apartment exists for a few more hours, heh.”

She kissed me and it turned into a little makeout session, right there. I loved wrapping her in my scrawny arms, rubbing her all over. I hoped it didn’t feel too much like being flogged with skeleton bones.

Leimomi got me a bottle of water and then joined me on her bed. I was still in the bathrobe from the other night, she was in capri leggings and a t-shirt. We stayed on top of the blankets.

“Thanks for helping me clean up, baby. We gotta figure out a cleaner way to do all that. Or just set my apartment on fire when we’re done with everybody, heh.”

“It’s OK, Courtney.” She ran a palm from my chest down to my belly, parting the robe. “We’re both nice and clean. You wanna fool around?”

“Maybe just a little. I dunno if I can go all the way with this headache.”

“Aww.” She pulled her hand back.

“In for a penny, in for a pound?”

“What?”

“You don’t wanna fool around a little, gotta have a big climax or it isn’t worth your time?”

“I dunno. Why just do sex stuff a little? That would be frustrating.”

“Sometimes it can feel nice.” I rolled onto my side to better look her in the face. “Like, I’d love to kiss your *redacted* but I don’t think I’ve got the stamina to finish what I start. But you might still kinda like it, even if it’s frustrating? I know I’d like it.” I made a grabby hand gesture in the air to underscore my point. Give me those things, please.

“Mm, OK, but if I get lady blue balls, I’m gonna be mad at you.” She whipped off her shirt.

*sex scene redacted for tumblr*

Maybe we both fell asleep after that, or she just let me sleep for a bit, until we were roused by a knock at the door.

I wrapped myself up to answer it, because Leimomi still had to wrestle her bra back on.

“Marcie, hey. Sorry I can’t invite you in just now. You wanted to see Momi?”

“I just wanted to see you, thank you for helping Mikey!”

“Hey,” he said. The daylight in the apartment had me a bit blind for looking into the hall, with its weak electric lights. I hadn’t noticed him lurking behind her.

“Mike, hey. Feeling better? Or worse?”

“I’ll be alright. Being green was kinda like being high, so I’m not too hot right now, but Marce is takin’ care of me. She’s a saint.”

“Well great. I love you guys. Have a nice one,” I said.

“Love you too, girl!”

I came back in, feeling nice, despite the low thunder in my head, and lay down on the bed again. “Mike seems great. It’ll be good to get done with this shit, but I just can’t do it again tonight.” I laid a paw on her arm.

“I figured. That was rough.”

“I know we can’t afford to wait for the next full moon. Maybe we’ll just take one night off and go back to it. I can try to come up with different spells for all our problems.”

“Would you kick me in the stomach like Mike?”

“Never. Might have to shave your pretty hair, though. I hope not.”

She had a moment of alarm at the prospect but then shook it off. “That’s silly. I’ll be glad to go bald for a while to get rid of this problem.” Then she looked sharply at me. “But will you love me if I’m bald?”

I grinned. “Hell yes.”

“But why? That would be so ugly.”

“No way, baby. You’re real cute. I love your hair but I haven’t seen it in a while, y’know? I’m still coming around.”

“If you say so.”

“I do.” I was about to say it would make her look more gay, and I’d love that too, but I knew that conversation would tread into territory where I’d find out whether she really thinks of me as a woman, and it killed my mood.

“What do you like about me? Is it just my big *******?” She was looking coy, which is great, because I couldn’t handle her self esteem problems right then - not as well as she deserved.

“Yes, hahaha.” I squeezed * ***** maniacally and she pushed me back until my head squished into the pillow, threatening to lose the headwrap. We settled down and I grabbed her hand. “Seriously, I love everything about you.”

“You don’t know everything about me.”

“You aren’t who you used to be. You’re who you are right now, and I know who that is. You’re my girlfriend.”

“I guess that’s true.” She put an arm behind my head and I snuggled into place.

“I was thinking about it. I don’t know if I ever dated an Islander before.”

She smiled. “Just how many people did you date, Courtney?”

I gripped her around the waist and shook her around. “Grrr!” I flopped back down beside her. It was too much effort. “You win, I’m a huge slut. Huge hungover slutty slut.”

“I love you, slut.”

“I love you too, honey.” I relaxed again. “Anyway, I just mention that Islander thing, because it feels significant. Like, I’ve never dated anybody that looks like my people. You don’t look like the average Pinay, but if you flipped the islands probably a few Leimomi lookalikes would fall out.”

“That’s weird. Why you say that?”

“I can imagine a different life, where we were from the same place. Same neighborhood. Where we grew up together.”

“Oh no, you don’t wanna be in Pearl City with my family.”

“That’s not what I mean.” I touched her face. “Get with me on this. Just hear me out.”

“OK...”

“We’re in some kinda place that never existed. Pilipwaii. It’s a nice island, low key people working hard and not so many hustlers and problems.”

“Pilipwaii? What’s it look like?”

“There’s a mountain but it isn’t an active volcano, pretty worn down. The reefs around the island got so big they shelter it from storms. The city is on a little plane, growing stuff like cane, bamboo, coconuts, bananas, mangos. The only school is a catholic school, so we grew up being chased around by nuns with rulers.”

“Why mean nuns? You want the story to be nice.”

“I want it to be believable. So trouble in paradise, baby. Anyway, you and me are schoolgirls together, best friends.”

“How could I be friends with you? You’re smart and--”

“There aren’t so many kids in a small town. Everybody knows everybody, and we just like each other, right? I hope you can find that believable, because you’re my girlfriend.”

“I’m your girlfriend in the story?”

“Not yet. Listen.”

“Hmm.”

“We’re just friends. Best friends. It can happen all kinds of ways. You know, I’ve always had friends that are different from me. Maybe I got hurt and you helped me out, or I helped you with your homework, or you were sad and I was nice to you one time. And it stuck, we stuck together. Best friends, in Pilipwaii.”

“At the school with the mean nuns.”

“That’s right. So one day, I’m in love with this boy, and he’s mean to me. He tricks me and then says he doesn’t like me in front of some other girls and everybody laughs and stuff.”

“This is too sad. Did the nuns laugh too?”

“They did.”

“I’ll kill ’em.”

“It’s OK. So I run home, I’m all sad and it’s terrible. You find me and help me feel better, hug me and say nice things.”

“I love you,” she said, and gave me a little squeeze.

“That’s right. Something like that. We’re there, say, in a gazebo. Big blue dragonflies are flying by. It’s hot but there’s a cold breeze blowing off the ocean. We’re schoolgirls, best friends, and you hold me and say, Hugo is a stupid ugly boy and I deserve better, and you love me and stuff.”

“I hope the nuns don’t hear that.”

“Well, you just mean, you love me like a friend, right? We say that stuff, like friends. But this time I’m looking you in the eye and I realize, maybe we could be more than friends. But it’s a little island, so nobody ever told us that being gay is an option, right?”

“This story is weird, Courtney.”

“Is it OK?” I searched her face. She nodded in approval and I resumed. “Well right, so you and me, we’re there, we’re schoolgirls, and we never heard the word lesbian in our lives, but I’m still super into you. And then I kiss you, and you start to get it.”

“Whoa.” She looked at me, then away to the ceiling, and back again, thinking about it all.

“Is that a good whoa or a bad whoa?”

“Wait. Now I know why people think schoolgirl skirts are sexy.”

“Hehehe, nooo, I’m not trying to be a pervert. I’m just saying, for all it matters, we could love each other any kinda way. Like, it doesn’t matter how we got here. Let’s just say we came from Pilipwaii.”

“OK, but tell me about our skirts. Are they kinda short?”

“No, they’re long. It’s a little island. Very conservative. But our shirts have short sleeves and we have little bow ties.”

“That’s cute. And you kissed me, and I start to get it, like, hey, we could love each other. No Hugo.”

“Yeah. So we kiss and it’s kinda sloppy and stupid because we don’t know what we’re doing or know what to do.”

“And I start to figure it out,” Leimomi said, “like what I wanna do.” She reached inside my bathrobe, *redacted*

“Oh no, I gasp! I shy away. It’s all so fast. What are we doing? Have we gone crazy?”

“Whut.”

“It’s part of the bit. Like, there’s a push and pull. Will we or won’t we?”

“Oh. But we will, right?”

“You fucking know we will, baby.” I kissed her savagely. “But right now,” I panted a little, “I’m terrified of this forbidden love.”

“I’m so sad, I can’t handle it. I guess I’ll cry.”

“Don’t cry, Leimomi. I come back to you, take your hands. What is this? What are we doing? We’re both girls. It isn’t how it’s supposed to be.”

“But why? Nobody is around, we can do whatever we want. I want to love you so much, Courtney.”

“It works, I’m like, oh shit, I can’t handle it anymore. I open my shirt up.”

“Heeheehee, yeah, now you’re talking. I open my shirt up too.”

*redacted*

“It’s time for freedom. Young ladies inventing lesbianism for the first time in the Universe, since all the other times it happened for other girls.”

She pulled off her t-shirt again. “Cool.”

I unfastened her bra and *redacted sexy / emotional content*

Were we being romantic or dirty? Both by turns, but those turns proved awkward to navigate.

We *redacted* and talked dirty and sweet until we both *redacted* She’d already worn herself out some that morning, and I was surprised she was able to go again like that. *redacted*

In the afterglow, she didn’t jump up or freak out, which was great. And I hadn’t gone down on her, so there was no question about kissing afterward. We snuggled up, just the thin material of my bathrobe between us to reduce sweat. I was tempted to *redacted* but I resisted the urge to avoid coming off like a total freak.

***

There was another knock at the door. I rolled my eyes, put my robe on, and answered it.

“Hey Patrick. Were you looking for me? Does Perry need help with something?”

“Kinda. I was wonderin’, how do we say who gets ta go next? I’d like to go, get it done.”

“My priority has been whoever is in the most danger of ratting us out, getting us in trouble. You have something like that going on?”

“Naw, it’s just somethin’ personal, bothers me a lot.”

“Well I think we all need some rest tonight so not now, but maybe tomorrow we see about some kind of plan? I don’t think anyone else seems likely to be a problem. Like if Olivia’s head pops up, she can join a circus and make some real money.”

“Thanks, Courtney, you’re a doll.” He reached out to shake hands.

My hands were both behind the door, only my head poking out. “Ah, hands are full. Thanks, Patrick.”

“See ya later!” He smiled and walked away.

I looked down the hall after him. His walk was a little awkward, but was that a clue? What was going on under his clothes? Marcie had two holes in her upper chest, I’d found, little squares that puffed out smoke. Most of the time she could keep it down, but several times a day she had to open the covers to let it out, or she’d feel a burning in her lungs and throat. Never did hear what Patrick and Perry had going on.

I pushed the door closed with the backs of my arms, avoiding getting my wet hands on everything. But that meant my hands were close to my face when she wasn’t looking. I avoided touching my face, but I took a deep inhale, and one little lick of a finger. It was awesome. Sue me.

I washed my hands and went back to her, sitting on the edge of the bed. I was going to just stay another moment, but couldn’t resist laying down again. This time I was on my belly, face propped up with one arm, the other draped over my lovin’ lady.

“I was thinking about the haircut. I think it would be real cute. You could grow it out again later, but for now, it’s fun to play with a different look.”

“Huh. That’s weird. Is it because you’re a grunger?”

“Hehe, maybe. But more than that, it’s like... I know you’re bisexual like me, but you’re in lesbian love now, baby. It might be fun to see you play the part. Girls like me have to be girled up all the time just to have a chance of people treating us like we want. But you? You could get big flannel shirts and tank tops and stuff.”

“Whaaat?” She crinkled her forehead all to Hell like I was trying to teach her quantum mechanics. “Dress like a lesbian? Like, butch?”

“I know, you aren’t really a butch. You’re a sweet lil’ girly babe. But it can be fun to play a different style, y’know? What do you think?”

“I never thought... I guess I could. But how would people look at me? What would they be like?”

“Some people might be mean. A lot of people will be pretty nice. And in this town? Ladies will be on your jock, like twenty-five deep at all times. You’ll have to keep them off you with a baseball bat. Probably some weird fellas too.”

“You’re lying. No way that’s true. Why would they?”

“Lesbians like butches, but most of them are not. It means you’d be a precious rarity. Plus you’re so cute and tall and strong, you’d kill them dead. They’d have trouble walking because their legs would go all wobbly around you. It would be hilarious.”

“Oh my goodness.” She touched her face, which was hot and pink.

I kissed her cheek to steal a little of that heat. It was mine. I put it there, after all. “My cutie.”

She shook off the embarrassment. “You just wanna make the lesbians jealous. That’s mean.”

“I know. I’m horrible. But we gotta eat. I’ll make us something.”

I sprang out of bed and put on the clothes I’d brought over the previous night. Leimomi dressed too, still lost in thought at the prospect of a makeover. She followed me out and sat down across the kitchenette island from me, on one of the tall stools. I got to work on some spam, macaroni, and cheese. I found the sauce from the packets was less gross with some milk and spices added, and randomly found part of a red pepper to mix in.

“You didn’t think much about being a lesbian before, huh. What do you think now? Gonna get those intertwined Venus symbols tattooed? Doc Martens?”

“I dunno. If you think it’s a good idea.”

“Again this power I have. I feel like an evil hypnotist from Scooby-Doo.”

“I just don’t care what I look like, I guess. Like, you know why.”

“Sorry, babe. But yeah, I think it’ll be real fun to get you dyke clothes, at least to wear ’til your hair grows back.”

“You’re a weird weirdo, but you’re my girlfriend, so I gotta do what you say.”

“Lovers are supposed to be partners, equals. If you gotta do what I say, then I gotta do what you say. Any requests?,” I said, gesturing to the food I was making.

“Naw. You do it pretty good.”

“Just ‘pretty good’? Sounds like there’s room for improvement. You don’t have to know how to cook to know how to judge food. Just think, would I like this better if we did it like that? I’ve made this for you before. Didn’t do the pepper last time, but I had green onion and cayenne for garnish. What did you think? Was that alright?”

“Green onion, is that the little green rings?”

“The way I cut it that time, yeah.”

“I didn’t mind those, but I didn’t like them either.”

“That’s OK, I don’t have any this time. How’d you like the texture? Like, how it felt in your mouth.”

“It was OK.”

“Coulda been better?”

“I dunno.”

“Don’t make me follow through on that clown thing.”

“Hehe. OK, so what do you want?”

“Was it too creamy, too thick, too sticky, too rich, too thin? Do you prefer a different kind of sauce with macaroni? If it’s really OK, then it’s OK. But if it’s not OK and you’re pretending just to be nice, I’m gonna make us have clown sex.”

“Is that a promise?”

“Alright, so now I see how it is. You really don’t care about macaroni sauce, and you might be into clown sex. These are important things to know, for our future together. I will take these mental notes and never reverse or overwrite them with contravening information. No matter how much you protest, from now on, I will know that you want to look like a clown when we fuck.”

“Don’t make it so complicated.”

“So like, a simple clown outfit, nothing too fancy. A few polka dots, big shoes, a red nose?”

“Yeah. But I thought you wanted me to dress like a butch dyke.”

“You know the ‘D’ word now? You’ll be ready for Pride in no time. Hm... I gotta figure out where to get combat boots with novelty foot length.”

“A butch clown? I don’t think the lesbians would be jealous of you anymore.”

“Damn! This is too complicated. Maybe you were better prepared to go lesbo than I was.”

“Heehee.” She got shy.

“Hey, you’re thinking about something and not telling me.” The water was up to a boil so I turned the heat down to seven and poured in the pasta.

“We both weren’t prepared. We don’t have a double dildo.”

I stood up straight in shock, though by then I should have been getting used to the idea of her knowing more about sex, in her own way. “What. What do you know about double dildos, girl?”

“Well, usually lesbians use a double dildo, right? Like one side goes in my pussy, and, uh...”

“Best place for me to put my end is the back door. But I’m sure plenty of lesbians don’t have double dildos. Where did you hear about that?”

“I just saw a porno once. Some ladies used a double dildo. Guess I thought...”

“We could use a double dildo, if you want. Sounds fun.” I stirred the macaroni, had to bust some apart as they had started to clump in the freshly released flour goo.

“Heehee.” She played with her hands.

“What else do you know about lesbian stuff?”

“Ya know, I never thought about it, but the pornos I saw are different from the lesbians I see around town. Like, in the pornos they have pretty hair and makeup, wear skirts and heels and stuff.”

“Sharp. That’s right. Most of those pornos are made for straight dudes. Might look different if ladies made ’em.”

“Why don’t ladies make ’em?”

“I dunno, but I could take a few guesses. You wanna be like a real life lesbian, like the ones on the streets, or would you rather be a porno lesbian, like in the movies?”

“We get a choice?”

“Always.”

“You are like a porno lesbian.”

“Guess I made my choice. How about you?”

“If I have short hair, I’ll hafta be like a real life lesbian.”

“Or you could mix it up. That’s what they call ‘queer’.”

“So if I have short hair, but I still wear makeup and stuff, I am queer, but if I have short hair and I wear a flannel shirt, I am butch?”

“That’s close enough to right.”

“I dunno. I don’t like to be wrong, to say the wrong thing. Maybe I won’t talk about this stuff with real life lesbians.”

“Just porno lesbians like me, right?”

“Umm, maybe just you. Not another porno lesbian.” She considered that. “Wait, are there porno lesbians in real life, aside from you?”

“Not a lot of us, and I’m sure most of us wouldn’t want to be called that. They also say ‘lipstick lesbian’ for ladies that stay lady-like, though most of them are still gonna do things their own funny way. I kinda like that porno lesbian thing for myself, because I’m not gonna dress like the singer from 4 Non Blondes.”

“I don’t get that one. You lost me again.”

“Hahahaha, you’re in for a treat. I’m gonna look that up for you when we’re done eating.” I served up the food.

***