#this friendship stuff is complicated...

[femme-malewife]

Pondering. Wondering if a few moots from x server consider me their friends. Should I add their names to my friends list? Am I the only one who think we’re good enough to be considered friends?

#this friendship stuff is complicated... #tbh though i dont talk to very many people... #even on my friends list #like it may seem like i have a ton of friends but i talk to like 3 people #2 of which its not that often #hnmggg. #i try but i think im just a shit conversationalist #also my interests are always running rampant so i can never stay on one topic and i think thats partially the reason why people #become so disinterested in talking to me #like yeah my likes will remain the same but if im not pouring my soul into it then who cares right? #it happens everytime i get back into an old hyperfixation. people care less abt talking with me until im back to what they like #barely even humor me with responses #its pretty restricting tbh. but ig im pretty used to a lonely life. i dont have any friends irl #i mean i have 1 but they live in another state and i havent seen her since the start of the pandemic. and prior to that it'd been over a yr #i have work pals who i get along with but none care enough abt me to want to keep in contact #ive just accepted that im not really destined to be with other people. im not lonely. im just alone #hhh i dont even remember what the point of this post is #if you read this far hi how was your friday

[margle]

thinking about dee. the loser of the group of losers. she is the 'other' and the woman. she cant even form fulfilling relationships with other women because she has been conditioned by her friends to see them as lesser. not people to like, but people to tolerate or sexually exploit. because of this, she only sees women as a chance to gain a moment of feigned superiority. to, for once, be at the top of a group's hierarchy. artemis survives because she is ultimately indifferent. but the waitress is hurt by her selfishness because she sees dee as the 'other' of the group as well - the one who could potentially be on her side. but dee rejects even the slightest softness from the waitress because she only wants the approval of the gang. friendship and kindness isn't reliable for her - it is something she has to fight for. she equates it with power. the waitress is beneath her, so why would she try and make her like her. in order for dee to accept a friendship with the waitress, she has to accept herself first. she has to give up her idea of herself - and dee is incapable of giving up.

#uhhh yeah and add other stuff too and some clever stuff as well #im drawn to deetress because I loveee complicated relationships between women #and dee is just so interesting #she kinda hates herself but is also so so resilient #and she does have a friendship with the gang but it is so conditional #iasip

[cits-kirby-brainrot]

The king of death and his very powerful, so powerful, how is he still in charge with this guy around, butterfly knight of hades.

#kirby series #morpho knight #necrodeus #I’m being funny #I think they have a begrudging friendship/on and off relationship with each other #but objectively if Morpho truly wanted to overthrown him they would have done so already #my stuff #shitpost #relationship status: complicated

[katzirra]

I am obsessed with my friends..??

So, for Christmas this year my little gang of Big Brothers thought it would be funny to buy me records as their theme. A couple of them have gotten into vinyl this year, and one in particular saw an opportunity when he saw the Loki soundtrack come out on vinyl. Which I'm obsessed with.

So I now have a very specifically curated fucking record collection I never asked for?? Which prompted me to buy a couple to have for very specific personal reasons. So that's a thing I guess. Cool??

BUT Mark got mad, because someone beat him to the Crimson Peak soundtrack. So his ass just said fuck it, Crimson Peak Christmas.

But it didn't stop there apparently. No, no. Because my friends are committed to the bit. So he got me the art book for Christmas, which is very interesting! Loved reading that! No. Then his goofy ass also got me a Taiwanese copy of the movie because I collect steelbooks... which I'm fascinated by because now it is the only foreign language spine in my fucking movie collection - which is wild to me, with how many foreign films I own..???? The saddest Thomas on the spine too..

BUT IT DIDN'T STOP THERE I GUESS!! I mentioned an offhand comment Matt made regarding the Hannibal teacup the boy's bought me a couple years ago.. So detective Tony one night just sends me a couple links to teacups, because he identified the fucking one from Crimson Peak. I don't????????

AND WHAT THE FUCK DO I GET HOUNDED TO CHECK THE MAIL FOR TODAY?? THIS LITTLE GUY.

It's like the fucking theme of the year now.

#kat life #my stuff #kat talks #there's something sad in our friendships where we have complicated relationships with our siblings #So we just kind of adopt each other instead lol also because it's way funnier that way

[variousqueerthings]

really been exploring the concept of aplatonic, but i do worry it'll alienate people from me... it's just the sense that the way i perceive people and my relationships with them as important comes from something that is not unemotional, but so outside of anything i have ever really been able to understand via dominant concepts. i've been exploring the limitations and vagueness of a word like love for myself and come up still very confused and distanced from it. so now i start to wonder what is it i do "feel" and does it even need to be calculated and defined so particularly? but in the meantime aplatonic concepts do seem to be exploring this in ways i dont see elsewhere in queer spaces, never mind more mainstream. it's interesting. it deserves some thinking about

#i think ive always been quite scientific about my relationships #what are our primary drives with one another what do our particular relationship structures look like how do we #exchange mutually beneficial levels of need dependent on said structures etc. #i have some friends for whom the word love in a friendship is very important #and i do use it i have no qualms/visceral negativity but i think it's something i do for them to use a word that they recognise #even though it's not a word i think describes anything -- it's like a complicated sport that ive not understood the rules of #and people don't really explain the rules they explain the way the sport makes them feel specifically #me #personal #aromantic #queer stuff #aro stuff #nd stuff

[dangerousdan-dan]

Just when I'm trying to be more social again, something will happen that reminds me why I'm a hermit

#vent ahead: #i tried to get my friends together to celebrate passing my exam #I'm not the kind of person who celebrates stuff about myself but I said fuck it I deserve it and I miss my friends #and they turned it into a drama and gossip fest #i don't care i really don't i just want to play cards against humanity and have a good time #i haven't seen these ppl in months and they either brought their romantic partners and ignored me alltogether #hijacked the evening and made it about them or didn't even arrive #why do they have to turn a simple celebration into something so complicated? #i hate it i hate it i hate pls get out of my house #I'm sitting here staring at the forgotten cards and food #and wondering if this is the point in life where i realize that friendships mean more to me than to the allo people around me #the older i get the more isolated i feel #and being aro makes it worse not gonna lie #i thought i could live without a partner as long as i had my friends but well #funny how that works #dan is rambling again

[gregmarriage]

okay, i’m genuinely curious: do people find me intimidating?

#that’s crazy to me but i wanna hear it from you #bc i get intimidated by other people i deem too cool for me whether that’s silly or not #but like to think other people find *me* intimidating? #idk i feel im very jaded and my own perception of myself very obviously will probably not match other people’s #idk i’m thinking about that kinda stuff lately #both in the context of friendship and otherwise #and just trying to both be more grown up and putting myself out there and making new adult relationships #and also balancing that with autism and the struggle to do so #my experience with friendship is weird and i wanna actually learn to be better basically #idk i always feel i’m a bad friend but like i do try really really hard and if i was really a bad friend i wouldn’t try at all would i? #idk it’s very complicated and it comes from a werid childhood and yadda yadda #whatever my big thing right now is communication i guess? #and relearning how to do it etc #as i’ve said in multiple posts #and i guess i’m trying to bare with myself as well as asking other people to do the same #bc i wanna talk and make friends but i’m currently on a slow road to figuring stuff out in my life so uhh yeah #that’s the guist of it i guess #anyways imaooo this post got away from me #gwen rambles #gwenposting

[scuffedcd]

I’m gonna be pathetic real quick,

#I miss her so much #dealing with a one sided crush on one of my closest friends no less has not been easy #we haven’t really hung out this year not bc of the feelings stuff but bc I was tired of always being the one to plan hang outs and outreach #this has always been our dynamic #she’s just not the initiator type #which was fine at first #but for me the more I put into a friendship the more I expect in return #so it was hard not to take it personally when things didn’t change after we talked abt it #anyway she graduated college today #and idk if it just really sunk in that this is very likely the last time we will ever be in proximity to each other #but something abt it just kinda hit me today #a part of me wishes she had reached out #but maybe this is for the best #I feel I shouldn’t have to ask for what I need every single time #the down side is that knowing that doesn’t cancel out the years of friendship #I’ve always had a hard time letting people go #a part of me almost always cares about them for a long time #it’s hard bc my college experience was largely knowing that while I had friends I likely wasn’t their top choice #or part of their larger group #I floated around a lot which was cool sometimes and lonely other times #but if there was any person who I would have expected or I guess even just wanted to put in more of an effort it was her #personal #rambles #vent #it is complicated navigating friend expectations vs crush yearning #but I like to think that I can be rational enough to distinguish between the two #and so not ask for anything that is outside the reasonable expectation for friends #idk man it’s been an emo day overall ig

[coolfoxykitkat]

Not me casually sending my mom articles on QPRs to prime her for explaining the I am in fact marrying my best friend platonically and no it has not been a joke

#personal rambles #cassette tape #qprs #I actually found a pretty good one in men’s health magazine of all places #and then used that as a casually transition #like ‘hey look at this good article I found in such a weird place!’ #she communicates through articles sometimes? and it’s how she learns stuff best I think #and she also sends ME articles about queer stuff so it’s not totally out of left field? #I’ll have to be careful how I send the second one tho or it might tip her off before I’m ready #I’m waiting until after the proposal for the uncomfy convos with literally everyone in our family #I’m just priming mom with the articles so she’ll have a basis of understanding of what a qpr is #and that no we haven’t been lying about our relationship this whole time #and yes we’re best friends #but also we’re getting married and it’s different from traditional friendship #yes we’re in love but also not like that but also also not like that either but no but yes and kind of and it’s complicated #but I’m sure this short one page article will explain everything forever

[void-and-virtue]

I’m a big fan of the whole concept that Andrew actually ends up grudgingly enjoying Exy at some point, entirely because he enjoys being contrary. Like. To Andrew, denying people who think they can one-up him their success is a basic need. Riling them up for his own amusement in the process, only to make the takedown that much more humiliating when even the anger is not enough to give them an edge against his immovable presence is Andrew’s idea of self-fulfillment. Exy makes it so he’s literally getting paid millions of dollars to do that.

Kevin would be so much more successful in his pursuit to get Andrew to actually play if he stopped trying to get him to like the sport itself, and instead started to subtly market it as a professional career in being a little shit. I like to think Neil eventually figures out how to intentionally garner Andrew’s interest and starts to capitalize on his instigative tendencies to the fullest to give him incentive. Andrew plays Exy like it’s psychological warfare when he puts his mind to it. They could probably get him to run precision drills at night practice by prompting him to imagine how mad it would make people if he managed to strategically bounce balls off of his opponents’ helmets mid-game as a way to pass the ball up to Neil so that he can score. Stuff like that is actually creative, and hard to do, so the challenge becomes interesting when the reward (grim satisfaction in his own skill, his opponent being mad at him but unable to do anything about it, Neil’s smile) is worth the shot. It’s not the game itself that interests Andrew. It’s the opportunity to thoroughly mess with people and be as much of an inconvenience as humanly possible that sometimes makes playing Exy satisfying for him.

On a more serious note, there’s also something to be said about how his personal history/trauma feeds into this. Saying ‘No’ and the ability to see through that his ‘No’ is final is a very integral part of who Andrew is as a person. It’s really tangled up with Exy for him because, as Neil accurately put it, he plays Exy like he plays life.

Andrew is someone whose choice has been taken away from him far too many times in his life. The ability to choose and deny what happens to him and those under his protection is the highest good he has. Playing as the last line of defense at his level of skill quite possibly has the potential to be downright therapeutic. There’s satisfaction to be found in every goal denied, in being the best at what he does and taking control of his part in the game, if he allowed this to mean that to him. And that could factor into enjoyment of the sport as well — a quiet, subdued kind rather than loud celebration, but silent satisfaction is just as valuable as the much louder, more obvious kind. Anybody who matters can recognize happiness and contentment in him without needing him to say anything anyway.

#it’s thinking about Andrew hours y’all #obviously it’s never Neil or Kevin level of devotion from him #Andrew isn’t exuberant #he doesn’t love Exy like they love Exy or most of his teammates do #but that doesn’t mean he can’t find his own satisfaction in playing #I’m tired of the idea that he never actually likes anything and Exy in particular #like all things Andrew it’s convoluted as all hell #because his relationship with stuff like joy and literally emotions and wants in general is extremely complicated #that said he is a little shit and he is an instigator and a protector at heart #and Exy is a prime opportunity to channel all of that #especially when there’s people he cares about playing together with him and he gets to watch them glow #sights like that make hitting balls with a stick actually worthwhile #all of this is entirely despite himself but at some point even Andrew has to admit that he isn’t actually fully impassive towards it #ball isn’t life but the power of antagonism and friendship sure as fuck is #aftg #all for the game #does this count as andrew meta? #or maybe Andrew vs Exy meta #aftg meta #andrew minyard #neil josten #kevin day

[akari-hope]

honestly kingdom hearts isn't that complicated you just have to pay attention and be willing to roll with it

#like yeah yeah some lore stuff is kind of out there when you try to microanalyze it but tbh #if you're doing that i kinda think you're doing it wrong #it's about vibes man. like who cares about the rules of time travel. this isn't high concept speculative sci-fi. #it's about like love and friendship and connection and shit #and if you come at it with that mindset? it all vibes. #i'm also aware that saying kh isn't that complicated is very biased coming from a lifetime fan of it but i do think it's true #if you really just accept 'everything is possible through connecting with others' you're gonna have a great time

[hua-liansimp]

Juwan Park is attracted to boys, right? Or am I misunderstanding this? At this point several characters have questioned his sexuality, he kept brushing it off and then he still only keeps paying attention to guy characters (namely Haejoon). Is it really all just platonic?? No Home fans help.

#i would ask if he gay or european but he is not european so you know #i really appreciate how this author writes very complicated and well fleshed out characters and relationships #but it's basically about friendship and platonic stuff (...i think?) but it's also all queercoded af. i'm not delusional or am i?? #no home manwha #homeless manwha #juwan park #haejoon goh #minju gong #eunyung baek #marie kim #kang hara #wanan #help #spoilers

[magniloquent-raven]

jim is aromantic, i've decided

#memes to follow #because thats how i roll i guess 😂😂 #ofmd s2 #ofmd spoilers #? #ofmd #our flag means death #jim jimenez #listen i've been really enjoying the casual blurring of friendship/romance between olu and jim #like they're besties they're life partners they're banging they're wingmanning each other it's amazing #looking back at s1 we got a lot of scenes where olu was pining but jim always seemed to have complicated feelings about it #like in the beginning i kinda thought it was their revenge quest + them figuring out gender stuff #that was distracting them from being 100% present #but we've seen them come into their own so much this season and they're so much more comfortable with their feelings #those feelings just don't seem to be romantic ones #this is too much typing already im on my phone rn #but rest assured i have more to say lmfao

[waywardsalt]

i made this a few months ago for a discord and i figured i might as well share it here too

#loz #legend of zelda #phantom hourglass #bellum #bellum is kind of a nothing villain but i like him #this image is basically the framework for how i write bellum's relationship with linebeck a lot of the time #the severity and seriousness of 'ruined your life' varies between aus n shit #ironically post-ph is one of the ones where 'ruined your life' is a bit hyperbolic #im in a talkative mood rn so im gonna have a little tag tangent going on #bellum is fun and like with this image you can take him many different ways depending on your own tastes and readings n stuff #recently i pinpointed some character i mightve accidentally based my take of bellum on and it escapes me rn #but i like to have him come off as a sort of brash young god sort of thing whos been very gung-ho about what hes been created to do and #represent and ive def leaned into him acting differently in different aus but backing it up with the idea that. hes immortal and thinks its #fun to try different things hwne he earnestly interacts with and among mortals. like in my crimson king au (the uh. one where he has a #homoerotic relationship with linebeck) his purpose behind masquerading as human and settling for a decidedly slower and more complicated #method of obtaining food and taking control is because he wants to challenge himself after years of just smashing through and taking what h #wants and because hes more interested in the more minute details of mortal interaction and how he could play along for a while #hes a bit more... whimsical? laid-back? something for the most part with linebeck because he's used to being a fuckin demonic god whos #mostly just playing around and not making attachments bc fuck it if he gets bored he can just eat these people and this one guy gets his #mercy and support because he's interesting and useful as a tool (and eventually as a source of genuine friendship. a common theme i seem to #have with bellum [perhaps as an accidental parallel or smth to the spirits n oshus] is him stumbling into finally understanding why #relationships are worth it? like a lot of the time his interactions with linebeck give him a new understanding of humans and he learns to #care about linebeck despite starting off seeing him as just an interested subject to watch or tinker with idk how to describe it #like in post-ph [ig post ph spoilers] as the fourth member of the main cast his main arc is abt kinda being forced to mingle with mortals #and ends up really caring and supporting these people and considering his own role and place in the world after kind of isolating and #surrounding himself with effectively a literal hivemind and loyal monsters and just reacting to outside forces with the intent to consume #and eradicate all danger so ig theres some parallel with linebeck too? bellum is a work in progress he's kinda a weird oc at this point? #when does an existing character stop being that and starts becoming an oc idk. its a weird line here bc bellum has minimal characterization #) anyways. funny meme or whatever. the discord seemed to like it im not used to sharing memes or whatever. #my post

[lucky-clover-gazette]

is it just me or do the labels “platonic” and “romantic” kinda fail to have meaning when applied aggressively to a fictional dynamic by people with vastly different definitions of those terms

#like vidow are just like that. they are how they are in the text #call it whatever you want but calling it platonic doesn’t strip them of the very present queercoding and tension and intimate connection #and i don’t mean queercoding negatively here #if i’ve learned something about myself exploring aspec stuff it’s that my definition of romance is really similar #to the commonly accepted definition of friendship #or at least that foundation of friendship MUST be present for romance #so for there to be this aggressive effort to insist vidow are platonic and not romantic is like #maybe it’s complicated? #and you can’t logically rule out a romantic context when these labels are not based in logic #but rather individual feelings and nuances? #and romance does not inherently depreciate the value or pureness or longevity or importance of a relationship? #stripping them of what makes them who they are #the things they do in the source material and the way it is contextualized by the narrative #seems so pointless and just… unpleasant from a fan’s perspective

[god-of-a-thousand-demons]

from my perspective the fact that they already found yukiko is so funny bc its LITERALLY been a day im on easy for the story and managed to day one yukiko's castle (which never happened the entire time i first played p4 i was spending at least a week on each dungeon sometimes in real life at least 3-4 days working on a boss or dungeon and i was on normal this game is HARD) and theres no blocks to progressing the story until you get to a certain date like in p5 you absolutely CAN and often will day one palaces in p5 but no matter when you complete it you will have to wait for the dead line to move on to the next arc p4 didnt do that i was able to do all stages aka bosses of yukiko's dungeon in a single trip i only went to the velvet room once after maxing all 8 of the personas i have to complete the compendium (and was able to get to level 20 in 8 floors and unluck 8 persona slots when you start at level 1 with 6 slots) like this is so fast yukiko went missing i think late yesterday so its been exactly 24 hours shes been found so the freak out to immediate relief is kinda silly to me i love it lmao

#og #destiny p4g replay #bUT ADACHI WHY TALK ABOUT ITYOU STUPID ITS PRIVATE POLICE STUFF i cant tell if hes actually good willed bc he lives in a completely #different persona with every single persona he knows he is constantly switching faces to appease the social situation so like as the man he #is in front of dojimas nephew / son does he ACTUALLY care about yu to some degree and want to relieve his stress with good news that his #friend is okay? persona is all about relationships baby and the point of adachi and yu's connection is they have SO MANY DIFFERENT #relationships that makes their situation so complicated. theyre opposed forces as hero and villain. theyre connected as persona users. they #connected by god and power. theyre connected by family. they had a genuine friendship. adachi was wrought with jealousy for yu. yu to some #degree had earnest love or at least respect for adachi as his friend his older mentor his uncle's / dad's trusted friend. theyre relationsh #p is SO COMPLICATED and thats what makes good rivals characters its why people like hero vs villain why so many people are adachi to joker #akechi its a very specific enjoyment of fundamental opposition with the added bonus of personal relationship complexities sprinkled on top #ts so delicious and why so many people like tense relationships in a story theres DRAMA and love and sometimes hate and hate of the love an #love of the hate its so good these relationships are so fascinating to me aaaaa #adachi posting #narukami posting #the fool and the jester posting #ig