#but if there was any person who I would have expected or I guess even just wanted to put in more of an effort it was her

[pocket-deer-boy]

at a certain point, someone's bigotry towards trans people becomes some kind of science denialism where they have to pretend trans people aren't real for their idea of the world to work. like, have a gander at this infographic

Beyond having no idea who the target audience of this infographic is (this reads as a bit too toony and colorful for the more serious sex ed tone of high school biology classes but is far too textually dense and visually noisy and cluttered for younger kids, so really it just feels like it's made or adults to pass around and nod along to work that tells them exactly what they already believe) It's also full of blatant medical misinformation, and states facts in a way that feels completely angry and bitter towards anyone who believes anything else. Like, no, transphobic lion gender infographic. Men CAN lectate even without any hormonal treatments or being trans. I've seen it personally.

It's also interesting to me how it explains sexuality (among other things) as being these incredibly rigid and inflexible categories. Like oh really, asexuals can't have sex? We can't go into nuances of sexual desire, sexual attraction, sexual pleasure and social expectations to perform sex. Like if you're ace and you did sex and weren't enthusiastic about it and never tried it again i guess you're not ace. The harry potter houses model of sexuality: you are one thing, you fit into this one thing, it prescribes how you're supposed to act instead of using it to describe how you actually exist.

This rigidity also becomes obvious when it talks about intersex people as being these exceptions to the rule that don't have to be counted for how gender and sexuality works. And of course, we have to force intersex people into these binary categories instead of, you know, letting them decide for themselves? And of course it ignores any kind of intersex person with any kind of features that can't be written off as an anomaly and an aberration from the norm. Here we start doing science denialism. Here we start pretending certain people's body features aren't worth discussing for the sake of public knowledge. They're only worth bringing up as anomalies, and not as like, people.

I can't fucking get over how jarring the whole image is actually. Like, the really cheerful cartoon furry lions next to this piece of text prescribing the rigidity of existence. Yeah baby, I love being a strong cool lion boy, I love being told everything I'm not allowed to do or be for the sanctity of my gender!

yeah roar!!!

Here's a little section i wanna do more of a deep dive on

Women have two eggs?? what??? the egg-shapd things in the uterus are not the eggs!!!!! what the fuck are you talking about

This particular part stands out to me. Like, obviously the purpose of this infographic is not to tell you how bodies work, but to insist that there's a correct and an incorrect way for bodies to work, and that people outside of what it describes do not exist. It's obvious because it won't even show you what a uterus, what a vagina, or what boobs usually look like, like any decent diagram whose purpose is science education would. It's obvious because it straight up lies to you about how periods work, and tells you that having a period is somehow intrinsically tied to being a woman.

Like, no. Obviously. Trans can men experience menstruation at any point in transition, and trans women can experience other common parts of periods if they've been on hrt for long enough. Periods are not some kind of woman exclusive thing, it's not purely reliant on having a uterus or having certain hormones. It's not gender dependent. It depends on multiple features of one's body. It's a very basic fact of transition, hormones change how your biology works no matter what features you have. To imply none of this is true is denying very very basic facts about how a lot of people's bodies work, simply based on some insistence that those people aren't real and if we simply look away we can all pretend trans women aren't real. It's digging your head in the sand, it's having lived looking at the shadows on the wall your whole life, being told something new, and going right back into your cave and angrily shouting at everyone that the shadows are real, the shadows are ALL that is real, and though I may have glimpsed things that lie outside of it, those things aren't real because I personally can safely ignore facts about how the world works and go about my day.

#cw transphobia #idk patricia taxxon posted this infographic and i haven't been able to stop thinking about it #there's something so weird and angry about it and how it's mixed with these cheerful childish drawings #angrily shouting I LOVE MY BOX AND I LOVE WHEN CONCEPTS CONTAIN ONE PURE IDEA AT THE EXCLUSION OF EVERYTHING ELSE

[vxlentinescookies]

This is a sequel of the previous Dark Cacao one were they fought and everything

Things have calmed down now, the awkward moment has open space for some time, peace and some further talks

But Dark Cacao has come into term with a little something

He likes Reader Cookie: (use any pronouns) are/is strong, resourceful, agile and very skilled, he could see so much potential, and it's a surprise to find someone who not only knows their way in a fight, but ALSO can match HIM

He wants to ask her out, the issue is: how!?

He was not a single clue, time to ask his soldiers for advise I guess?

Maybe even contact hollyberry?

(To resume, this is Dark Cacao finally knowing he likes Reader Cookie, asks others for advise to ask them out and fails miserably, but Reader Cookie is so amazed at the brave [though failed] attempt that decides to give the idea of a date a try)

→ ❛Between the sword and your opponent, pt. 2❜

→ Pairing ; Dark Cacao Cookie x Reader → Quote ; ❛❛It surely didnt go according to plan but, to say Hollyberry, who had been listening intently from behind one of the pillars, wasnt satisfied, would be an understatement.❜❜ → Genre ; Drama , Romance → A/N ; This was very fun hahah, pt 1 is here!

Its been a good few days after the incident, the one where you shamelessly flirted with Dark Cacao in the middle of a fight. To say the king hadnt been thinking about it was… an understatement, he had thought about it, quite a lot. It had leaked into his daily like like the growing vines of grapes, and in return, they were twisting and shaping around his brain like a deadly respite. This, paired with the following talks you both had about the help the kingdom of Rose Champagne wanted to offer to the kingdom of Cacao, and the inevitable flirting that came with your personality, Dark Cacao seemed to inevitably start falling in love. It was a force of nature he didnt expect, that he didnt take in consideration, but as time passed, he realized that these feelings were ever present, and that there was no way he could keep them hidden.

Love, for Dark Cacao, was something he had long since given up on. He no longer seeked it, and he no longer expected it, especially after the falling out with his previous wife and the loss of his son, that he still deep down loved dearly, he no longer felt he had a place in the grounds of love, therefore, he simply stayed on his own place, allowing himself to be moved by the currents of life while focusing on the current moments with his kingdom, his subjects, and the war ever present with Dark Enchantress Cookie.

Thats perhaps what made this moment the more jarring to him, to be flirted with after he felt unlovable, after he felt undeserving of being loved—And then, the fact that his heart was starting to beat with fervor and energy yet again, for someone he once hurt unintentionally… It put his mind and heart at a standstill, confused as to how to proceed, confused as to what to do exactly.

“Damn, sounds like you’re deep in the trenches of love, old friend” Hollyberry would tell them once Dark Cacao sought them out for help, after all, out of all his comrades, the hollyberrian was the most capable when it cames to matters of love.

“Sigh, Im just, confused as what to do… I’ve given up on love a long time ago…” He said, looking down for a few moments, before turning back at her.

His hands were tainted with blood, and his mind haunted by the warriors long lost in the wars the cacao kingdom had been part of, not to mention the small guilt that followed him for having fallen in the trap that was Affogato’s tricks. He sighed yet again, because then there was you, someone hurt unintentionally by his hand, even if he was under the tricks of the snake, he still felt like he owed his people something. 

“Oh c’mon, rid yourself of that long face, Dark Cacao!” Hollyberry would snap him of his thoughts, as she’d laugh heartily “Its clear what you must do, you must act upon your emotions!”

“Act… Upon my emotions?” He felt like he stayed in square one, unable to think of what exact way to move thorough this new challenge. “Right, but, how exactly?”

“You speak as if you hadnt been in a marriage once!” She spoke yet again, frowning for a moment before patting his back lively, and perhaps a bit too strongly “Fret not! What you must do, is confess and ask her out on a date! Dosent that sound logical?”

Right, a date… If only he wasnt rusty in these themes, perhaps the idea would’ve seemed more appetizing, but as it stood, he was confused and didnt know exactly what to do or say. Hollyberry, noticing this, would just sigh and shake her head, she thought Pure Vanilla was THE challenge in the ancient’s groups when it came to love, but Dark Cacao? Now he was winning second place.

You had been resting in your quarters, quietly taking a nap when it happened, a soldier knocking on your door causing you to wake up startled, and once the door opened, you would look confused at the soldier in question, looking at you with seriousness as he spoke the words sent by his majesty. He was requesting your presence in the throne room, words that left you dumbfounded as you brushed hair out of your face before nodding. You didnt put much thought about it, as you dressed to come see Dark Cacao in the throne room.

Walking towards the castle suddenly felt colder than usual, and your steps felt heavier, as if you were expecting something bad to happen, but thinking about it, the worse that could happen would be Dark Cacao shaming you and sending you back after your constant flirting… which didnt seem to be the case, if anything it did seem quite… out of character? The king didnt seem to be that fazed by your flirting, so… But on the other side, you could be expecting the end of the trip as he declared that all was well, and that the Cacao Kingdom would continue relations with the Rose Champagne Kingdom… Not really out of character and far more viable… still, if it were to be the case, why were you hesitating? Why were you feeling so heavy? Confused, you simply approached the door before stopping.

Were you, were you falling in love? No, there was no way, there was simply no way that you were falling in love with the King of the Cacao Kingdom, was it…?

“Your majesty, I’ve arrived…” You spoke as you finally took a step inside, bowing in front of the king, before he’d dismiss the other cookies in the room, letting you both alone in the room. “Is there, something you wished to discuss with me?”

“Yes, ahem… (y/n) cookie, there are some matters I must get to… involving you”

You lifted an eyebrow as he spoke, his nervousness apparent as he left the throne and walked towards you. Each step felt dangerous yet filled with a certain sense of unknown that scared you in some way. Yet you persisted, until he was right in front of you.

“Will… Ahem… Will you go on a date with me?”

“Huh?”

Now it was your turn to be taken aback. You stared at him dumbfounded as you felt all your worries and fears fade away into the dark. He looked at you curiously and you simply coughed before looking at him, smiling.

“... S-Sure, I dont mind!”

“You dont have to if you dont want to…”

“No-No, I do want to! Lets go on a date!”

It surely didnt go according to plan but, to say Hollyberry, who had been listening intently from behind one of the pillars, wasnt satisfied, would be an understatement.

#🌙;moonlit dreams #dark cacao cookie x reader #cookie run x reader #cookie run kingdom x reader #crk x reader

[qaraxuanzenith]

I've been saying this for a while, but finding this post on my dash has, I feel, given me more tools to express this thought about why Jews (especially in the US and American-dominated online spaces) are feeling increasingly alienated by their leftist friends. Why many Jews who otherwise lean left will vote right, much to the dismay and even revulsion of their leftist friends. Why many Jews end up feeling "safer" leaning right. Why it is not fair or reasonable to "blame" these Jews for exercising their democratic right of secret ballot in such a way.

I'm screenshotting the post because (a) it's long, and (b) most of its content is not actually the point here. I'm not trying to argue with the OP or with my acquaintance who reblogged it onto my dash. I just want to explain what I find troubling about it.

The post is, as I said, long. I'll be honest: I only skimmed it. I'm not American. So skimming past - scrolling past to see the rest of my dash - I saw a lot of things where my brain went "Oh, that looks bad," but, you know, in a vague sort of way. Bad, but doesn't impact me directly. Or bad, but not in a way I can do anything about it either way (especially since I can't vote in the US). Or bad-ish, but that's not an issue of deep importance to me personally. And then I saw this:

And suddenly I felt hostile to the OP, because oh look, they just lumped in supporting my homeland, where my family live, which is currently under attack and in dire need of support, as a "bad" thing. Suddenly I feel like OP hates me, or at least, considers my continued existence on their own list of "bad-ish, but that's not an issue of deep importance to me personally."

But you know what? I kept scrolling. It felt like such a mild lip-service anti-Israel line that I thought, "Maybe this person doesn't hate Jews and Israel so much." I reevaluated my initial hostile response and decided to give OP a second chance, to walk it back. It sickens me that I've gotten so used to racism against my people that some expressions of it just don't register anymore. But I kept scrolling, and it got worse.

So what I'm reading here is an excerpt from the document that sounds, to me as a Jewish person, eminently reasonable and reassuring. Couched in language and context from OP that wants to paint it as a bad thing that the writers of this document believe that Israel, the Jewish state and Jewish indigenous homeland, should be able to defend itself against... *checks notes* three terrorist organizations with genocide against Jews explicitly in their mandate, and one dictatorship country which has repeatedly expressed that it has the desire and is working on having the means to "wipe Israel off the map."

Perhaps OP has been living under a rock (or, like me, only really focuses on political updates that hit close to home) for the past 7 and a half months and is unaware of Hamas's horrific attack of October 7, 2023 against Israel, in which civilians were brutally slaughtered, young women raped, mutilated bodies paraded through the streets, and dozens abducted - many of whom are still in captivity to the terrorist organization which has not allowed any humanitarian visits to the hostages or even confirmed proof of life for those it still holds.

But when I read the above excerpted paragraph, I went from "I'm not American but I guess most of this sounds vaguely bad" to "I hope this party wins." "I hope that this specific part of this platform is implemented because it is offering support, protection, and safety for me and my family."

You - OP and people who share their views; you as non-Jews who do not share in our unique suffering - you have no right to blame us for choosing our own survival. I would expect you to prioritize yours, as well.

It is things like this - not this platform, but this post, lumping in support of Israel against three terrorist organizations and a genocidal dictatorship with all the other "bad" things like deforestation and nuclear weapons, that push Jews to the right, or at least away from this part of the left. It is reading things like this, that take it for granted that my family and I should not be protected, should not have a right to live in our home, that radicalize people like me.

You're right: most of the other things here are things I would deem as "bad," but if I embrace this platform with open arms at least I get to survive, to fight against the rest another day. Better than rejecting it in favour of someone who has otherwise wonderful ideals but wants me dead.

I want to be able to care about all the other "bad" things in that post, in that document, but right now, we are bleeding. If I had to vote on it right now, I would choose whoever penned this document or stands behind it, because I need to prioritize my safety and continued survival over any other platform issue, and if I am not for myself, who will be for me?

Not my friends on the left who decry support of Israel against genocidal terrorists as a bad thing, that's for sure.

#am i jewish tumblr #jumblr #antisemitism #israel #rule 6 #the problem with a two-party system #the problem with politics #if you lump caring about me in with the things you hate #don't complain when i draw the conclusion that you hate me #if you lump caring about me in with things done by people you hate #don't complain when i throw my lot in with them #all hypothetical since i can't vote in the us #but the principal is more widely applicable #im ein ani li mi li #if i am not for myself who will be for me

[greyspirehollow]

Bound. For... Science. [Request]

Pairing : Quaestor Valdemar x gn! reader

Fandom : The Arcana visual novel

Warnings : brief depiction of scientific stuff ; fluff

Summary : Could you have imagined that the scary and mysterious Quaestor Valdemar would become the person you see on a daily basis? Probably not. You even have a surprise for them...

They didn't pay much attention to you at first. Nor did you pay much attention to them. If you were honest with yourself, you probably couldn't have seen it coming. Once they started looking into your general direction however, you couldn't be any more nervous. You can't exactly remember how or when it started, but they had crept up on you so many times that you couldn't keep count anymore. Good thing your heart wasn't too jumpy (to their greatest disappointment).

You were minding your own business in the library, devouring a tome written by probably your favorite scientist : the genius who is Wilfried Magnes, an eminent biologist who had just published the third part of his theory on the evolution of species, this volume being dedicated to camouflages. You were so absorbed by the author's words that Valdemar had to clear their throat to get your attention. Your head whipped around at the sound, and you let out a relieved sigh. You were about to speak but they interrupted you : "Come. I would like to show you something..." and with that, they tugged three books out of the library's bookshelf, opening a secret passage. Your eyes widened as they grinned. Oh they were going to have fun scaring the sweet heavens out of you. You reluctantly closed your book, tucked it under your arm and went down with them.

You'd half expected the elevator to just give up and drive you both down to your respective deaths, but it seemed to be holding itself together. And that is the days you reached Valdemar's dungeons. They looked... Undeniably giddy. It was fun to scare mortals after all. And well... You didn't feel... the best. You hesitantly followed them, the strong smell of blood and iron hitting your nostrils, making your nose scrunch and a discreet cough escape you. And they seemed unfazed, inhaling the dungeon's scent blissfully. The more steps you took forward, the less you were sure you'd come out of this alive. You two then reached the main hall, operation tables lined across the walls and seemingly frozen in time since the last time they were used. Your eyebrows knitted in worry, your gaze falling onto Valdemar who had a wide, sharp-toothy grin on full display. "This-" they gestured around "-is *my* haven. The heart of all my works, where lies the remains of the most unspeakable procedures one can think of. Feast your eyes, maybe this is, who knows... the last thing you'll see~" your heart thumped violently against your ribs, and your eyes couldn't look away from- oh, what was that?

Your gaze landed on something behind them, in the faint distance : a shelf, upon which rested various things, but it is the white spot that caught your attention. You gasped, and it is as if all your fears... vanished. Wiped out in a snap of fingers. You excitedly walked over to the shelf, put your book aside, and took the human skull in your hands. "Gods, that's a beautiful specimen!" you exclaimed "how did you manage to extract it- i-it's in perfect condition ! what did you use to clean it? no don't tell me- let me guess- uh hydrogen peroxide* ? or did you clean it by hand?? Who- no wait ; I think it's... it's definitely a man's, and I'd say in their... in their 40's? something? did you-" you interrupted yourself with another gasp as you spotted the wet specimen of a heart sitting on the shelf. You carefully put the skull down "wait wait wait- you do not have a heart contaminated by a dark magical parasite- you do !!! How did you even get your hands on that ?? How did you remove it without getting- no way, you have- NO, stop it-" then your hands reached for a small closed test tube "you do not have a sample of a necromancer's magical decay !!! Where the hell do you even go to get that ?!" you gasped and picked up and examined specimen after specimen, object after object, rambling aloud. Valdemar could only watch with utter confusion as you rummaged excitedly through the shelf, all giddy. But soon, they grinned ; they seemed genuinely excited at the idea of explaining each and every single procedure they went through for each item, and so they went to stand by your side as they started rambling themselves. Your excitement was contagious - mainly because they didn't exactly have anyone else to share their passion with. And so when they started to go on about every recent experiment they'd done you clasped your hands together, looked them in the eyes, and said, determined : "teach me."

And that's when you became Quaestor Valdemar's apprentice. You two would spend most of your time in the dungeons, and at times you would giggle excitedly when performing a dissection with them, or when you found something exciting. Ah, science. Wonderful science. The word got around eventually, when people saw you practically live at the Palace and with your very own labcoat, gloves and apron. Countess Nadia eventually gave you one of the guest rooms to reside in, and that's basically when your new life began. At times, you would conduct experiments of your own in your basement. You did it before you'd met Valdemar, but now that you had a person to show your work to, one can say you'd become productive. You had obviously endlessly rambled about Magnes' theories of evolution to them, and they happily reflected upon it with you. The Quaestor had even brought up a few names they knew, and well, despite being somewhat outdated (and for some proven wrong and so put a little on the side in scientific history), and when I mean outdated I do mean dating at least a millenia back, you had heard of or read about some. Sometimes you would pester them with tons of questions about the scientific breakthroughs and theories of their own epoch, and they did reluctantly reply to some of them, despite your unquenchable thirst for every piece of knowledge you could get your hands on (the mind of a great scientist).

You loved the time you spent with them. But there was one thing you were particularly excited about... You hadn't told them yet. You'd simply mentioned how it would be nice to go for a simple walk in the streets of Vesuvia, enjoy the sunlight and the fresh air -because as much as you liked the dungeons and your basement, you didn't exactly appreciate the smell down there, unlike them- and to your surprise, they'd agreed. You'd reserved your places in advance, thankfully, because you knew that despite being relatively niche still, it was nonetheless booked by all the other scientists of the city. And of neighboring cities. And countries. Now that you thought about it- the scientific field was a rather closed circle, but people really came from everywhere. Anyways. As D-day approached, you couldn't help but feel both excited and anxious. Valdemar seemed to have noticed : you were talking a lot faster than usual, and your movements were a bit less organized than they usually were. You'd always dismissed it, saying it was only 'seasonal'. Not sure how you could prove that to them, but they didn't question you further. When the day finally came, you were absolutely restless. You laid there in your bed, it was probably... 3 AM. And you were successively falling asleep and waking up by periods of thirty minutes. Gods, this was torture... You tried tiring your eyes by reading Magnes, and... It worked, actually. You sighed as you finally managed to sleep through a few more hours before sunrise.

But once you did wake up for good... Oh you were worse than a grasshoper. You couldn't even focus on the experiment with Valdemar- you couldn't even stay sitting for more than two seconds. When the clock struck noon, you agitated even more, insisting that you and them go on that walk in Vesuvia NOW. They initially resisted, but their patience ran thinner and thinner with your insistence. "fine, FINE ! We'll go on that stupid walk!" they said, irritated. If you were honest with yourself, you would've dragged them by the horns if they'd continued to refuse. They sighed, annoyed, as you gripped their arm and pulled them out of the dungeon. Valdemar knew something was up. No human -especially not you- was so excited about a walk in the streets. You were definitely up to something, and they didn't like the fact that they didn't know what it was. But your (nearly feral) eagerness did ease a bit of their concern : it was entertaining to see you so jumpy. You'd not talked about anything scientific on the way to your... surprise. You were afraid that you might accidentally spill the beans. And you wanted it to remain the most surprise it could be. You both walked the busy streets of Vesuvia, the sun hitting your labcoats, reminding you that they were actually a clear color, nearly white, making you squint your eyes every time you glanced at Valdemar. Now that they thought about it... They weren't exactly used to the outdoors. They haven't been recently, anyway. It was nice to feel the warm sun on the skin of their face again... They allowed themselves a small smile behind their mask.

After what felt like endless turns, you smiled with undeniable joy as you both reached your destination. You walked a few steps ahead of them and cheerfully announced : "Tadaaa ! Welcome to the Third Edition of Vesuvia's annual Scientific Exhibition !!", with a wide and toothy smile. Valdemar's eyes widened slightly. They'd never heard of this event before... They looked at the building which hosted it, and the crowd of what were definitely scientists -or at least curious souls- lined up at the entrance, the sun hitting the bright red of the laid out carpet and the banners on the walls, embroided with the event's symbol. You excitedly waited for their reaction. They smiled and looked back at you "ooh, so that's what you were all jumpy about..." you chuckled, slightly embarrassed "I really wanted it to be a surprise..." you said sheepishly. They hummed : "well, that is definitely a pleasant surprise... Shall we go in?" You nodded eagerly as you went to wait in line with them. They struck conversation as you both waited :

"What does... what happens there, if I may ask?

-Well, it is an event that allows scientists of all backgrounds to come and show off either their discoveries or their handiwork. There are also often books and manuals being sold, as well as materials and products -ouh, I could definitely use a few brand new scalpels- but there can also be specimens. Last year I've seen reconstruction of animal skeletons, things like that.

-My, that is most interesting... *they replied, their eyes sparkling with interest* I do hope this will be a fruitful experience.

-Oh, it most definitely will!

-How come I have not been informed of such event? You said it was annual?

-Well, it's still very niche, and not many people outside the scientific field know about it.

-But the Countess must've known, no? Third edition- meaning this is the third year they're doing this. Ooh, or maybe it was put on hold during the years of the Plague... Meaning it was Lucio who-... Hm. He most definitely wouldn't have told me. He must've said yes for the event to be hosted without even giving it proper attention. Tsk.

*you chuckled*

-Well, now we're here, and I'm pretty sure the Countess will give the exhibition a bit more care and attention from now on..."

You both arrived at the reception, and the man behind the desk looked up to both of you "Ah, greetings, Misters.. Misses...?"

"Doctor." you both replied at the same time, on a nearly identical tone. The receptionist raised an eyebrow and blinked, before reading over his list "hm.. Ah yes ! I do have two Doctors : Dr. Y/N and Dr. Valdemar?" you beamed "that is us!" the receptionist nodded and handed you a quill "I'm just going to need you both yo sign here..." and you both did. The man bid you a good visit and you both walked into the building, excited to see what would the exhibition hold for your curious eyes. Valdemar had noticed the little paper at the entrance, and decided to tease you about it : "You didn't take the couple's discount?" you briefly froze in your tracks and stammered "wh- uhm I didnt- I ju- uh... Should I have?" They laughed "No, I just thought maybe you could've spared a little bit of money... Those places were expensive, no?" your cheeks reddened and you frowned "don't worry about that- Let us enjoy science!!" They nodded and followed you through the building.

And the event did NOT disappoint. You went from person to person, lingering on some more interesting than others. you bought supplies, both for the dungeons and for your own little experiments at home, and you and Valdemar spent a copious amount of time with a surgeon, Dr. Milestone, who had successfully extracted a whole human nervous system, which was on full display under a glass protection for you to admire. Both of you swarmed him with questions, undoubtedly interested. Maybe you had even... Intimidated him somewhat. If it weren't for the exhibition's most interesting part, you would probably have spent a lot more time with him. You both walked into a separate room, which was basically a small amphitheater, and when you sat down, an auction began. There were various specimens -live or dead- being sold, but you hadn't managed to get your hands on any, despite the juicy offer of an amnesic brain and two hundred coins for a complete collection of the tools of the late scientist Oscar McArthy, a reference in the world of science... But that was a very little loss compared to the amazing afternoon you spent with Quaestor Valdemar. And they seemed to be thinking the same thing. However, around 5PM, you'd lost them in the crowd. Unable to catch a glimpse of them, you went and waited by the entrance, thinking it would be the most logical thing to do. They appeared again around half an hour later, and before you could scold them, they apologized, and you weren't so upset anymore.

Eventually, you both returned to the Palace around the evening. You didn't head straight for the dungeons however... Your legs felt weak and all the excitement, all the attention and focus you gave the exhibition had drained you. You let yourself slump down onto the couch of one of the drawing rooms with a groan, already feeling your eyelids begin to weight and threaten to close. Valdemar only chuckled at the sight "Can I at least sit down, too?" you briefly sat up "oh- yes, sure.. sorry" and made room for them. But as soon as they sat down, they grabbed a pillow, placed it on their lap and patted it gently. Your eyes widened at the invitation, and before you could wonder why they'd even done that, they said : "it's the least I can do for such a wonderful afternoon.". You didn't need to be told twice. Your head slumped down on the pillow on their lap and your eyes closed with a comfortable sigh.

It's not before they were sure that you were knocked out asleep that they started gently running their fingers through your hair...

*nota bene : I am in no way a scientist, so I may give inaccurate depictions of certain elements in the story.

Bonus !!______________________________

The following day, around breakfast, Valdemar came up to you : "I didn't have time to give you that yesterday - you were pretty tired." they handed you your copy of Magnes' theory on camouflage and you raised an eyebrow "what do you mean? I hadn't lost it..." you opened it and your eyes nearly popped out of your sockets- there, on the first page, was a handwritten dedication :

"Y/N, may your thirst for science and knowledge never quench"

-W. Magnes

"you.... when did you ...?" your voice squeaked as you stood up from your seat. Valdemar only smiled smugly. "He was surrounded by quite the crowd... We didn't even notice him, near the auction room. But I did manage to capture his attention briefly." You didn't even question how they'd gotten the book -since you were pretty sure you'd left it at the Palace- or the fact you missed the chance to see your favorite scientist, you were nearly crying, this was just so sweet of them to do-

You nearly knocked them off their feet with the force of your hug "oooowhhh, Valdemar !!" you squeaked out "there there, it's nothing." they said, patting your back, seemingly amused "I could kiss you-" you said. "ah- maybe not for such a futile favor?" the replied, a little embarrassed. You didn't care, but if they didn't want to be kissed, you wouldn't kiss. But you wouldn't let go of them either.

"Y/N, will you let me go now, it's roughly been three hours-"

#you did not let go of them #the arcana #the arcana game #quaestor valdemar #the arcana courtiers #the arcana valdemar #the arcana visual novel #valdemar #valdemar x reader #ask #fanfic #there u go anon!! #hope u enjoyed #yes I completely invented the scientists' names shhhh #I wasn't exactly inspired for the title hmm #is that what the whole 'hyperfixation' thing is like? is that what people mean when they say that? #I had fun with this one hehe

[wanderingcritter]

quick question, and i mean no hate or disrespect, but how can you not support/like transIDs when you use a transID (Transspecies)? /genq

Thanks for asking about this! I get that it can seem confusing or contradictory to some so Im happy to discuss it :)

For one, transspecies isn't transID, it's just.. a regular trans identity. The term transspecies has existed within the alterhuman community for literal decades, long before the creation of the "transID" community. It's a term that has quite literally been stolen and appropriated by a group of people who the majority of alterhumans dislike and want no part in. In terms of origin, function, and social implications, it is infinitely more comparable to being transgender (an identity i don't see ever being included in transID specific discussions) than it is to something like "transBPD".

Secondly, even if it was somehow transID (which again it's not), it still doesn't carry any of the same discriminatory mindset or just flat out impossibility of existence the way most transID do. Species identity and the idea of what it means to be "human" is almost entirely socially constructed, not completely dissimilar to gender. There are rules and de facto societal ideas about how someone must "be a human", which not everyone can neatly fit into. It is something experienced by all beings living within human society, and is therefore something that can be transitioned away from or out of. Whereas something like being autistic is not socially constructed and not something someone can simply transition into. While yes, there are certainly social implications, expectations, and roles placed upon autistic individuals, autism itself is not a social construct, it's an actual tangible neurological phenomenon, making it impossible to be "transautistic".

This ideology also promotes discriminatory beliefs against minority groups. It dismembers and fetishizes the lived experiences of entire cultures, communities, and individuals, lived experiences these "trans" individuals will literally never have. If you are not "cis autistic" you will never ever truly know what it is like to live as an autistic person, no matter how badly you want to. Same can be said for other transID identities. I understand that atypical dysphoria does exist (hell, I have some of my own), and I dont doubt that these are real emotions people have, but that doesn't make it okay to try and say you actually are those things and impose yourself upon groups of people you are not part of. I guess if someone has a harmless transID like "trans brown hair color" or smth then I don't really care all that much, but otherwise I have zero tolerance for people who believe they can forcibly integrate themselves into an entire culture just because they feel like it.

TLDR: Transspecies isn't TransID it's just regular trans, but even if it was I would still support it because it doesn't promote discriminatory and fetishistic ideas about certain groups of people.

#transspecies #transspecies pride #transspecies problems #transspecies is not radqueer #transspecies is not transID #alterhuman #nonhuman #therian #therianthropy #otherkin #therian pride #therian positivity #anti rq #anti transid #proud anti

[melanieph321]

Kenan Yildiz x Reader - Claim Me Part 2/3

+18

Part 1

Summary - Reader is Dusan Vlahovic sister and is dating Kenan. However, Reader has yet told her brother of the relationship as he is very protective of her.

Enjoy!

For lunch with the team and their families, you chose to wear pants. Levi's jeans, to be specific. Somehow, Kenan had managed to arrange the seating at the restaurant so that the two of you would be seated right before each other. You were thankful that he had been eager to tell you about his achievements before your arrival at the restaurant. It allowed you to prepare for the worst, like your boyfriend attempting to play footsie while you tried to enjoy your food.

It was pretty funny. His reaction as his foot went up your legs, expecting to feel your bare thighs, only to be met with the rough fabric of your jeans.

"Whatta..."

You had to look away not to burst out in laughter.

"Behave."

Your behavior earned you an elbow from Dusan, who, God forbid, despised laughter around the table. Or laughter in general.

"Are you twelve, or what?" He hissed, to which you were quite offended by. Kenan must have noticed this because his face went from playful to leathal in just a matter of seconds.

"It's okay." You nodded assuringly. However, he was not happy with Dusan and had to excuse himself to go use the restroom.

"Hey?"

There wasn't much you could say to cheer him up. However, he seemed to appreciate the fact that you came looking for him after he had been gone for a while.

"Hey?" He said, meeting your reflection through the mirror. "You know this is the men's restroom, right?"

"Really, then why are you in here?"

He chuckled.

You came up behind him and rested your chin on his shoulder, wrapping your arms around his waist. "It's getting kind of boring out there. What if we ditched this thing and went somewhere else?"

"Won't your brother notice?"

"Nina can cover for me. She always does."

Kenan turned around, forcing you to shift your arms to wrap around his neck, your forheads pressed together.

"I love you." He said.

"Love you too."

"I mean it Y/N. I've never felt this way about another person."

"Felt what?" You raised your head, your nose caressing his, only then did you notice that Kenan's eyes were closed.

"I guess I just don't want to lose you." He sighed.

"Baby." You shrugged his shoulders. His eyelids opened. "What makes you think you're gonna lose me? I'm not going anywhere."

Kenan shied away, the two of you letting go of each other. You kept an eye on the bathroom door as anyone could burst in at any moment.

"I know that." Kenan nodded. It was difficult for him to express his feelings at times. "Like I said before, I want to be able to hold your hand without looking over my shoulder for Dusan. I think it would be better if we just told him the truth. Rip off the bandaid, I mean."

"Kenan I don't..."

"I get it." He nodded. "It's not as easy as I believe. But what if it is?"

You felt for him. You really did. But more than anything, you admired Kenan for wanting to tell Dusan that the two of you were seeing each other. He wanted to do so despite the fact that it could jeopardize the teams dynamic. Not to mention the ridicule and cold shoulders he could face from his other teammates. Still, Kenan thought that you were worth the risk.

"Have I ever told you how good you look in a suit?"

Kenan looked up from where he had been standing by the sink. He saw you scowling him up and down, a devious smile on your lips. "No, but try me." He grinned.

"You look hot." You said, approaching him were he stood. "So fucking hot."

"Yeah?"

"Yes. You can only imagine what it's doing to me right now, seeing you all dressed up."

Kenan's raised a curious brow. His hand went to wrap around your waist as you stood before him again. "Tell me." He whispered. "What exactly is it doing to you?"

Your lip was caught between your teeth. You bit down hard. Even more so, feeling Kenan's hand slip down the length of your back to the curve of your ass. He squeezed it, pressing you against his growing erection.

"I want to fuck you so bad right now."

"In here?" He frowned, questionably looking around the Men's restroom.

You nodded. "In here."

You grabbed his tie, pulling him towards one of the bathroom stalls. As the door trapped the two of you inside, the explicit kissing began.

It was filthy and primitive beyond measure. You had managed to cover up your last hickey with make up, but as Kenan got busy nipping at your cleavage, licking and sucking your breast, you feared that you had no way to cover up those future bruises.

"Fuck Y/N, you're unreal." He groand and slipped a hand down your jeans, feeling the heat from your damped panties. "I want to fuck you until you scream my name."

You smiled. "Then what are you waiting for?"

Kenan paused to look at you,  not sure if this was you giving him his full consent to fuck your brians out. Nevertheless he went for a more tender approach, wanting to please you all the way, without rushing.

You moaned as his fingertips slipped under the fabric of your panties, brushing the bed of you pubic hair, searching for your opening. Once he found it, he slipped two fingers inside, sensing that you were more than ready for it.

The back of your head hit the stall, with a hand covering your mouth to smother your gasping moan.

"Yes baby,  you like that?"

"Mhm." You nodded, fighting back tears in your eyes. He kept a steady paste, thrusting his fingers in and out of you in angles that hit every right spot.

"Don't be shy, baby." He talk you through it, the erruption of your orgasm. "You can come for me. Please, baby, come all over my fingers."

You stood on your tippy toes, climbing the steep hill of your rising orgasm. "Kenan,  I'm gonna..."

"Yes baby, let it go."

It was unbearable, your panties pushed to the side, Kenan's braud fingers deep inside of you, lubricated by the liquid that help spark the flame of the craziest orgasm that you ever experienced.

"Fuck."

You crumbled against the bathroom walls. With Kenan slipping out of you to reach for your jaw, pulling your face towards his, rewarding his good girl with a gentle kiss.

"You did good baby. So fucking good."

You smiled weakly and allowed his helping hand to get you back up on your feet.

"I want you to feel good to."

He smiled. "You already do."

"No, I didn't mean it like that." Looking down the bulge in Kenan's pants gave him away. It was your turn to pleasure him.

"Y/N, you don't have to..." He protested, seeing you lower yourself to your knees. "The floor is dirty, baby. I don't want you to..."

"But Kenan..." You whimpered, your eyes big as you looked up at him. "I want to."

"Yes?"

You nodded, "Yes."

His hand went to the back of your head, gripping your hair. You were eager, licking your lips as you reached for his zipper, the bulge in his pants more than ready to be set free.

"Y/N, is that you?"

You froze.

Outside of the stall, the door to the restroom flung open, followed by heavy footsteps.

You looked up to see that Kenan shared the same look of panic in his eyes.

"Y/N!" Dusan hissed, your body trembling with the anger in his voice. "I can see your heels. I know you're in there. Who's in there with you?"

Your heart sank. Not like this, you thought. He will kill him. Your brother is gonna kill your boyfriend.

Part 1

#fanfiction #football imagine #footballer x reader #footballer imagine #football angst #kenan yildiz x reader #kenan yildiz #juventus fc #dusan vlahovic

[vodika-vibes]

"Do you want to see them suffer? Do you want to make them bleed?" Chi-Chi ft. LEECHY – "Sit and wait"

___

Guess it might be called mystic!au. Exploring the ancient cult of Brother Deities, which includes thousands of one-faced gods, the reader gets the jackpot – an instruction for summoning Sev – cruel bloody deity. According to the text, summoning him might be dangerous to the one who performs the ritual, but what can the reader do with her explorer interest? The ritual demands the cow skull, red silk cloth, any form of fire and the blood of the virgin, luckily, reader is one. She doesn't really believe it's about to work, but here she is – Sev is in front of her, tall, athletic, wearing only the given cloth and skull. He's quite excited because noone called for him for centuries as the cult went forgotten.

Overwhelmed reader finds nothing better than asking an ancient powerful deity to become her boyfriend and take her virginity.

And maybe to fix some world problems using the might of the Brother Deities, but this can wait.

Hard To Kill

Summary: You’re a low ranking member of the ExploraCorps, a group of adventurers whose job it is to wander far and wide while looking for mystical items to help the Empire thrive. As a low ranking member, you spend most of your time alone. Your current mission, investigate the legends of the millions of the same faced gods, and determine if there is any truth to the stories.

Pairing: Clone Commando Sev x F!Reader

Word Count: 2851

Warnings: Smut

Prompt: Mystic AU - Reader is essentially Lara Croft.

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni

A/N: So, I'm not sure if I got the vibe you were going for, but I kind of really like this one. The idea is so clever. Thanks for your request!

When you were first assigned the mission of the same faced gods, you thought that it was a hazing ritual. Every new person to the ExploraCorps is assigned this myth. And every new person returns several months later with nothing to show for it, save for new scars and new nightmares.

Still, when your boss tells you that the case is yours, you don’t really have the option to say anything other than, “yes sir, thank you sir.”

So here you are, deep in the middle of a forest, following a half translated map to the place where a temple is supposed to be. 

Honestly, you don’t expect to find anything.

Surely, if there’s any truth to this legend someone else would have found it by now.

You duck under a fallen tree and climb over a large rock, before you glance at the map, and turn towards the river that you can hear but not see. You swing the beam from your flashlight across the ground, making sure that you’re not going to step on anything that might kill you, and then you start walking again.

All you have to do is go to the location where the temple is supposed to be. When the temple isn’t there, then you can call back to ExploraCorps HQ and tell them that the mission was a bust, and that you’re coming home.

You turn around a tree and stop as the forest comes to an abrupt end.

A man-made clearing, nothing in nature is this perfectly created after all, and there, in the middle, a massive temple. You glance at your map, and then up at the stone building, and then back at the map.

This can’t be right. According to the map, you’re still at least an hour walk away from the actual temple.

You absently bite your fingernail, as you consider your options, before you slide the map into your pack, and walk through the clearing to the temple.

The stone is covered in soft moss, which explains why no one would have seen it, even from above, though, as you reach the door, you note that it slides to the side with ease. As if it’s been used recently.

Though, as you peer into the small room (there’s no way that this is a ritual chamber, it’s far, far too small-) you can’t help but notice the cobwebs and that wild animals seem to have made this room their home. 

You make sure that the door won’t slide shut, and then you step into the room. The walls are covered with shelves, and all of the shelves are filled with tightly bound scrolls. 

You don’t dare touch them, depending on their age, they might very well crumble to dust if you try to touch them. So instead you just sweep the light from your flashlight across them and keep your distance.

However, on a pedestal in the center of the room, is a scroll. It’s already open, and you note that the scroll itself is still legible. You squint at the writing, slowly translating it as best as you can.

And then your breath catches in your throat. 

If you’re translating this right, this is a summoning ritual to summon a war deity. It’s a very clear list too. No room for mistranslations.

A cow skull. Easy, there’s one sitting on the shelf over there. It’s old, but a quick scan tells you that it’s in one piece.

A red silk cloth. Also easy, mother gave you a red silk scarf when you were chosen for the ExploraCorps, that should work alright.

Fire. Easiest of them all, a lighter is part of your survival pack.

Blood of a virgin. Well, you’re still a virgin, and your blood has never been used in a ritual before, so you have that covered regardless of what it means. Though, it doesn’t say how much blood is needed.

Lastly, on the list is the time of day. The summoning needs to be completed at midnight on a new moon. Slightly more problematic, on account that the new moon is still two weeks away. But, even so, that will give you enough time to read over this, and some of the sturdier looking scrolls, to prepare yourself for the summoning.

Technically, the rules indicate that low ranking members of the corps are not supposed to perform rituals. But, well, you’ve always been a proponent of asking for forgiveness is better than asking for permission. 

You sweep your gaze around the small room one more time, and then turn to head back outside. Policy dictates that you’re not supposed to sleep inside any of these old places because it’s not safe.

You hesitate at the door and look around one more time. Surely there won’t be any issue with you camping inside, just for the couple of weeks it’ll take for the new moon to arrive? Better to have some shelter, especially in a place like this, where the weather can be unpredictable and violent.

The idea rolls around your mind for a moment as you step out of the small building to go and grab your pack. You seriously consider your options for a moment, and then you turn back to the temple. It’s not like anyone will know.

Decision made, you head back inside and unpack your camp. A small camping stove, your sleeping bag, and the sleeping mat that makes sleeping on stone slightly more tolerable. And then you pick up the scroll with the summoning ritual on it, and you start reading it properly.

That night, as you lay on  your back in your sleeping bag, hovering on the edge of slumber, though not quite there yet, your mind drifts.

Once upon a time, there were multiple governments on this planet. One for each nation. Sometimes more than one for each nation. There was so much conflict and so much war.

And then Palpatine came. 

Over the years, he took more and more power, consolidating all of it in himself. And then he toppled the local governments, and named himself Emperor. 

Your father claims that Palpatine is doing a good thing, everyone has a job, everyone has money and food and medicine they need to survive. Everyone gets an education. Your father claims that Palpatine is a fine leader.

You’re not so sure.

You’ve known since you were a child that you were slated for the ExploraCorps. It was decided when you were six years old and were finally old enough to take the placement test. Your education has been geared to that since that day.

You learned history, and mysticism, and myths and legends. You learned languages and archeology and paleontology. You learned wayfinding, and how to survive when alone, and how to fight. You learned everything you needed to learn to thrive as a member of the ExploraCorps.

But you’ve also been privy to things that other people haven’t been.

You’ve seen the prison work camps, where people who disagree with Palpatine’s rule spend their lives slaving away. You’ve seen evidence of what happened to Palpatine’s political prisoners, men and women who were whisked away and starved and tortured and, ultimately, murdered. 

And you’ve heard rumors of Palpatine’s Gladiators, criminals who are forced to fight and kill for the Emperor’s amusement. 

Not to mention, the reason the ExploraCorps exists at all is sickening. It’s an open secret that you’re all looking for the secret to immortality for Palpatine. Or, barring that, some kind of mystical weapon that he can wield against the people.

Palpatine would see you all dead and enslaved. 

Your eyes flutter closed as sleep finally grips you. And you’re last thought before you drift off to sleep is that it’s stupid that Palpatine thinks he needs more power to enslave the planet's population. After all, you’re all already slaves.

Two weeks later, it’s finally time.

Over the two weeks, you’ve managed to read a small number of the scrolls, and you’ve managed to find the ritual circle. It makes a fair amount of sense that it’s located under the room that you’ve been sleeping in. 

The stairs had just been completely overgrown with vines and briars, which is why you didn’t see it right away.

You’re a little nervous about the summoning. There are so many ways that this can go wrong. Especially since you’ve since learned that you’re going to summon a bloody war deity. 

But, even so, your excitement is shoving the anxiety to the side. 

The thrill of the unknown, of learning and experiencing things that other people never would, it’s why you were chosen for the ExploraCorps in the first place. For all of Palpatine’s faults, and he has many, the career assignments worked in your favor. 

You shove the thoughts out of your head and slowly go about setting up the ritual. A fire, lit in the middle of the circle. The red silk scarf and cow’s skull sitting on the opposite side of the fire from you, and several drops of blood in a stone bowl that you found in the ritual room, and then proceeded to sterilize to hell and back again. 

Then you take several steps back, so you’re outside of the circle, and you lower your lighter to the oil filled divet in the ground. Fire spreads quickly, jumping high and blocking your sight, as the room fills with controlled flame.

For a moment, nothing happens. And then there’s a presence, something large and heavy, like a boulder on your chest, and then the weight is gone as suddenly as it appeared, and all of the fire goes out. 

You blink at the sudden, all encompassing, darkness and blindly grab for your lantern, flipping the switch to give you some light. 

The ritual chamber fills with the soft, warm, glow of your lamp, and once more, your breath catches in your throat.

It worked.

There, standing in the middle of the circle, is a man. Tall and broad, with dark skin and dark hair. He’s totally naked, save for the red scarf wrapped around his waist to protect his modesty, and he’s holding the skull in his hands. 

He turns his gaze to you, and you can’t help but notice that his eyes flicker with the orange of the flame used to summon him, before it settles into a deep brown color. 

“It has been many years since someone has summoned me,” He says, his voice low and gravelly as he steps out of the circle and advances on you. His dark eyes scan you, and you find yourself at a loss for words.

You weren’t expecting him to be handsome.

He reaches out and takes some of your hair between his fingers, “You are not one of the priests who normally summon me. I have no priestesses.” He finally says.

“I…” You nervously lick your lips, and you heat as his gaze drops to your lips, “I’m not a priestess. I’m a researcher.”

“Is that right?” His hand moves to lightly grip your chin, his skin is warm, “You summoned me, which makes you a priestess now.” He adds, amusement clear in his voice. “Whose blood did you use to summon me?”

“My own.”

He chuckles, the noise a pleasant rumble that gives you goosebumps, “Then you are definitely my priestess now.”

“Oh. I didn’t know.” You admit, honestly, “The scrolls weren’t clear.”

“They rarely are.” He releases your chin and lightly presses his hand against the base of your throat. 

He’s massive, it would be so easy for him to hurt you, to kill you. But strangely, you feel safe. Safer than you’ve ever felt before. You should push him away, call your boss, tell them that you found definitive proof of the same faced deities. But, looking up at him, you don’t want to. You don’t want to share him. “What’s your name?” You ask.

“Sev. My name is Sev.” His thumb brushes against the pulse point on your neck, and you hope that he doesn’t notice how rapidly your heart is racing. “And what should I call you, my pretty little priestess.”

You offer him your name freely, and he repeats your name with a reverence that makes you shiver. A shiver that Sev notices, based on a small smirk that crosses his face. 

“So tell me, my priestess,” there’s something deeply possessive in the way he refers to you as his, and you probably shouldn’t find it half as attractive as you do, “Why have you summoned me?”

The truth sits on the tip of your tongue. You almost tell him about the standing orders from Palpatine, about the reason for the ExploraCorps…but it’s not actually the truth, is it?

Because the truth is, if you were actually following orders, you never would have summoned him. You would have called your boss, and this whole area would be an ExploraCorps dig site.

But you didn’t do any of that.

“I…I’m lonely.” You whisper.

Sev’s hand moves from your throat to press against your cheek, “Well, I can help with that.” His lips are against yours before you can question what he means.

You submit to him immediately, parting your lips for him as he slides his tongue against your lips. He maps out the inside of your mouth with his tongue, and you moan into the kiss. 

Sev breaks the kiss, and he effortlessly lifts you into his arms, as though you weigh nothing. You can’t help the startled squeak as you fling your arms around his neck and hook your legs around his waist for balance. And then you gasp as you feel his erection brush against you. 

He walks you out of the ritual room, up the stairs and into the room that you’ve been living in for the last couple of weeks. Sev roughly pushes everything off of the stone table, and sits you on the edge, before he releases you. 

His dark eyes are glimmering with orange flame again, as he presses his thumb against your lips. Your gaze locks with his as you lightly lick his thumb. Someone the flame in his eyes burns brighter, and he presses his thumb into your mouth, pressing down on your tongue.

“My Priestess,” He murmurs, and then a growl escapes from his throat as you suck on this thumb. Sev rips his hand away from your face, hunger written into every line on his body, and tugs the red scarf away from his body, revealing his rock hard erection. “Strip. Now.”

You’ve never been one for orders, but you’ve never wanted to follow an order so badly in your entire life. With shaking hands, you tug off all of your clothes, pausing only when Sev’s large hands move to your chest to cup your breasts as soon as they’re exposed.

“Keep going,” Sev orders as he pinches your nipples, lightly at first, and then applying more and more pressure until you release a mewling little moan. But you are able to finish tugging your clothes off, until you’re totally bare in front of him. 

Immediately, one of his hands dips between your legs, zeroing in on your clit and applying enough pressure that your hips jerk towards him without your permission. Your hands fly to his forearms, just to have something to hold onto, to ground you.

“Mine,” Sev growls as he plunges two fingers deep into your pussy, “All mine. Mine to use. Mine to protect.” You release a cry of pleasure as he scissors his fingers, rolling your hips to try and pull him deeper. “My priestess.”

Just as you’re on the edge of your orgasm, he pulls his fingers out of you, and you release a cry of dismay. “Sev-” You’re almost in tears, “Please-”

“Shhh,” He coos as he kisses the crest of your cheek, “You’ll get what you deserve, my priestess.” Sev trails his lips to catch yours in a heated kiss, “After you give me what I want. And I want your pretty lips around my cock.”

You blink at him, and Sev smirks.

“Worship me on your knees, my perfect priestess, and I’ll give you everything you want.” Sev promises.

With his help, you get to your feet and sink to your knees. You wrap your hand around the base of his cock, and press a light kiss to the head of his weeping cock. 

“Good girl,” Sev murmurs, his praise washing through you and making you whine softly. “Patience, my priestess. I won’t leave you wanting.”

And you believe him, so you part your lips and take the head of his cock between your lips and suck gently. You feel his hand fist in your hair, not directing you, but holding you, reminding you that he’s there. And you relax into your actions.

Later. Later you’ll tell Sev about the state of the world. He’ll pass word onto his brothers. Later, the same faced deities will save everyone.

But that’s later.

For now there’s you and there’s him, and nothing else matters.

#star wars #tcw #star wars au #vodika-vibes 650 event #clone commando sev x reader #sev x reader #star wars fanfiction #x reader fanfiction #f!reader fic #18+ fic #nsft #mystic au #answered asks

[ecruvianfancontent]

How would Ford get kicked out instead of Stan?

So, a bit ago, @ckret2 posted an essay expressing frustration about the fandom portrayal of Filbrick. Filbrick is often characterized as violently and irredeemably abusive, whereas ckret2 cites some very convincing evidence that he was a well-meaning but authoritarian father - not a good dad, but not an evil person.

This discussion was prompted because ckret2 was considering an AU in which Ford never goes to college and ckret2 prefers the smallest possible change in AUs.

I wanted to link those posts because they have absolutely gotten me thinking about the subject. The following will make more sense if you've read that essay and this follow-up about Filbrick's regret over Stan's behavior. I accept the contents as canon for the purposes of this post.

(For completion's sake, the entire discussion was prompted by a Ford as a Trucker AU, but the following doesn't actually have anything to do with that.)

Let's make Ford the kind of person Filbrick would kick out of the house

Stan's eviction is the end result of many, many years of contention between Stan and Filbrick - an earnest last-ditch effort by a desperate father to get his delinquent son to shape up, and a decision he only made because he thought Stan was legitimately malicious. Most AUs in which Ford is kicked out instead of Stan will just rewrite the Science Fair scene so that Stan has more to lose than Ford. If we're talking "smallest possible change," though, I don't find that convincing. If Filbrick was an unpredictable maniac who's ready to ditch his kids at a moments notice? Yeah, fine, any small mistake by either one of them would work. But if Filbrick has been earnestly trying to be a good father, and just didn't feel like he was getting through? One mistake, even a big one, from his less troublesome son would be unlikely to prompt a disowning.

So, my question is: what "single small change" early in life would lead Stan and Ford to develop in a way that flipped Filbrick's expectations of them?

Personality traits and how they affect the relationships

Let's talk about Filbrick, Stanley, and Ford.

So, first of all: Filbrick wants is sons to be industrious, tough, honest, and hard-working. Those are the qualities that matter to him. He makes them box so that they'll be able to stand up for themselves and others. He fights with Stanley because Stanley is a thieving scam artist. He demands the kids be profitable and successful because that is a mark of success as an adult for him. If we assume that the twins were an unplanned pregnancy, then he also firmly believes in taking responsibility for your mistakes -- in owning up.

Stanley is a born liar. Like, even his playful and friendly interactions with his family involved good-natured lies. (He reminds me of one of my uncles, who was an avid prankster up until the time he went up against me, but that's a whole story that I won't get into here.) I think in order to be on Filbrick's good side, he'd have to prove that he was honest in his own way - for example, by defending people when it really mattered even at the expense of his own reputation, or by refusing to take advantage of someone who has wronged him. I don't think canon Stan would do either of those things for anyone except family, but canon Stan is also convinced that nothing he does will ever be good enough. His last, dying words were "I guess I was good for something." He never until that moment thought he was. We need to make sure that he earns some self-respect earlier in life.

Now we need to find a flaw in Ford to exacerbate to the scale Stan had in canon. This isn't really hard, honestly. Ford may have been the less troublesome kid in high school, but he is ruthlessly ambitious, and as an adult he will steal or destroy anything to get the results he wants. I think that the reason he was the less troublesome kid is because there really isn't a good way that a high schooler can be ambitious at the expense of the people around them on a scale that matters. The stakes are just too low. Maybe Ford put down his classmates to secure a win in a spelling bee or stole an answer key once or twice, but it's hard to imagine Filbrick caring about schoolkid drama. That said, if Ford did have an aspiration - a science project, for instance - that he became truly obsessed with, it's easy to imagine him stealing or breaking things to achieve it.

So, how would we make stealing and destroying things a pattern of behavior for Ford, instead of a single one-off mistake? And how would we make Stanley's good-heartedness and self-sacrificing nature something that is visible to his father and overwhelms his tendency to lie?

Oh, and one more thing:

The big fight didn't just happen because Ford lost something he wanted. The entire Tale of Two Stans is about two twins who are very close to each other when they're young drifting apart over time as their needs, ambitions, and hobbies begin to diverge.

How do we make this separation happen in a way that flips the script?

Ford as a more isolated kid

Ford has a one-track mind.

In order to make this alternate canon work, I want to isolate Stan and Ford from each other very quickly. Filbrick might not be violently abusive, but he does ignore the kids, and Ford is already isolated from his peers due to bullying and poor social skills. If Stan isn't spending all of his time with Ford, then Ford might become more and more withdrawn. I don't think he would even be unhappy! Maybe a little lonely, but he's a bright kid with varied interests, and he'd keep himself occupied. But he might get a little... unhinged.

My Ford sans Stan is a kid that gets into trouble. A lot of trouble. Way more trouble than parents should have to deal with.

He gets arrested for disassembling abandoned cars. He gets detention for melting things in the chemistry lab. He gets stitches and tetanus shots after climbing under bridges, or ends up in the burn ward because he stuck a fork in an outlet. (I knew multiple academically gifted children who did this, what is wrong with you guys.) He might make a weapon like a nail gun because he thinks it's cool, and while that wouldn't cause as many alarm bells in 1980 as in 2020, it gould get someone seriously hurt. And, moreover, no matter how many times he's yelled at or bailed out or suspended or has his privileges revoked, he just doesn't get it. He'll express genuine remorse every time, but Filbrick will stop believing him after a while because he never changes. He never changes because... well. Because he is incorrect about what's wrong.

This version of Ford is isolated from his peers and doesn't have his brother to entertain him, so he's extremely self-centered. He doesn't think about the consequences of his actions and he doesn't think about how they might affect others. Let's say he snuck into the chemistry lab after hours, did an experiment without adult supervision, and ended up catching a shelf on fire. When he is punished, he's contrite and apologetic. He earnest in his expression of grief. He feels horrible. You'll tell him what he did wrong, and he will say, "I know," and accept his punishment without complaint. But, if you were to actually ask him what he did wrong, the answer will be:

"I used the wrong solvent." Or, at best: "I wasn't careful enough."

Nothing about disrespect for property. Nothing about breaking the rules. Nothing that reflects the fact that he is a child using someone else's resources to try a dangerous experiment without permission or supervision.

I don't think the adults around him, least of all Filbrick, would notice the communication error. Filbrick isn't in the habit of asking young boys about their feelings. Even if they did notice it, I don't think they would handle it well; this is before modern mental health science, and it might actively frighten the adults around him to realize that he doesn't understand morality in the way the kids around him do.

I think that if we start with this version of Ford, it would be very, very easy for him to screw up so badly that Filbrick felt the need to kick him out.

Some ways we can reduce Stan's influence

Option One: Stan might actually be worse off.

Usually, these reverse AUs are about Stan being the golden child and Ford being the one who Filbrick has it out for. However, that doesn't necessarily have to happen in order for Ford to be the one who gets kicked out. If Stan gets caught (or framed) for a crime big enough to send him to juvie for a while, or for Filbrick to send him off to a reform school, Ford would be left alone for years - long enough for Ford to develop the habits I just described.

This AU would fit really well with the themes of canon, too. The show is about how, even though family has its ups and downs, we're better together than we are apart. If Stan is separated from Ford against his will, and the rest of the Pines live to regret it, we address that theme head-on.

In an AU where Stan goes to boarding school, juvie, or something like that, I personally think Stan would still love Ford dearly and do his best to support him. Ford would do his best to make his own way in the world after his falling out with his father, and Stan meets up with him whenever he can. They have their own lives but remain friends.

Option Two: The ever-so-beloved Sports Stan option! If Stan ends up in a successful hobby, it might keep him out of trouble enough to curb his more dishonest tendencies. If that's the case, Ford's isolation comes from Stan having more friends (teammates!), more extracurricular responsibilities, and possibly the kind of social life that keeps him busy during school hours. I figure that in this version, Stan might stand up for Ford getting bullied, and he would be listened to, because you don't fuck with the football team. That would leave Ford with neither friends nor enemies. Ford might hang out with the sports kids for a while, but it would be really awkward, since he's just Stan's brother and doesn't have much in common with these guys.

This version leaves Stan slightly less delinquent but otherwise the same as his canon counterpart. Sports keep him out of trouble, might get him a scholarship, but otherwise leave him pretty much intact.

My problem with both of these two options is that I feel like, for maximum effect, we need to isolate Ford in middle school or earlier - I think fifth grade would do it. Sports don't really get that serious until late middle school or high school, and it's hard for a ten-year-old to get in enough trouble to get sent away.

The sooner the twins begin to separate, the better for this narrative.

Option three: Boy Scouts (or something). In this version, Stanley doesn't just have a hobby he likes - he has a hobby that becomes a lifestyle. He joins a club or meets a mentor that has a profound impact on him as a person. This, I think, would be the biggest possible impact with the smallest possible change.

I'm going to use Boy Scouts as my example, even though I can't really imagine Stan joining a troop without Ford. Just know that this is a placeholder, and it could be anything: he might find a car repair shop with a kindly and avuncular war veteran mechanic, he might fall in with a volunteer group, et cetera. If we go with the boy scouts, though, here's what happens:

Stan is bored and frustrated and has too much energy as a prepubescent or barely pubescent kid. He ends up hanging out with some boy scouts, and they do things that he thinks are really cool. They're the first kids he meets who like boats as much as him, and they know all the rigging knots. Maybe one of them tells him all about how to take care of lizards, and that other kid knows how to light a fire using a flint.

He convinces his parents to let him join the troop. At first, he doesn't fit in at all. All of the other kids have been doing this since first grade, and he's bad at making friends. However, one of the troopmasters becomes a mentor to him: this man intentionally gives him attention, spends time with him, asks him about his interests, teaches him skills that he's missing, et cetera.

If you've ever been or known a young kid who didn't get enough attention and then, suddenly, met someone who made them feel included, you know what happens.

Stan would sell his soul for this guy.

Stan memorizes his handbook, he attends all the functions, he mentors the cubs, the whole shebang. I think Stan would have a blast, too. Boyscouts make up bullshit to tell the little kids constantly. They play pranks on each other and the troopmasters. They haze the new kids. The develop complex internal mythologies for their troops. They get up to all manner of ridiculous shenanigans, oftentimes with the help of knives, ropes and fire. Stan would love it.

By high school, he's working hard toward his Eagle Scout badge, and that means he isn't just attending troop functions. For those who have never been scouts, the whole program is supposed to be about leadership training. The Eagle Scout status is one you earn by doing a project of your own - usually some small but tangible improvement to your hometown, such as building some benches or making an improvement to a museum. So, in the Sports Stan version of events, Stan is busy because of regularly scheduled team sports; in the Scouts Stan version, he's spending a huge chunk of his own free time planning, fundraising for, and building his project.

But there's another thing at play here.

Boy Scouts have a strict code of honor. If Stan was a gung-ho boy scout, he would probably become exactly the kind of person Filbrick wants him to be.

And, well,

I think he'd also become judgemental as hell.

Yeah, he still loves his brother, but here Stan is living his best life and being a good citizen who contributes to society, while Ford's out there... drawing pictures of ghost he insists he saw? Reading about mermaids? Catching the chemistry lab on fire?

Like, seriously bro, you need to get a real hobby.

You know how by the end of high school, Ford was treating Stan as an immature and ignorant kid with no real aspirations who wasn't going to amount to anything in life? You know how Ford was so sickened by Stan's relative lack of ambition that he really believed that Stan would deliberately sabotage his science fair experiment just for a chance to hang out more?

Yeah.

Now imagine that reversed.

#I need to proofread this #Gravity Falls AU #Meta Analysis #Gravity falls #Stanley Pines #Filbrick Pines #Stanford Pines #Fan essay #AU discussion #Boy Scout Stanley Pines #My post

[scuffedcd]

I’m gonna be pathetic real quick,

#I miss her so much #dealing with a one sided crush on one of my closest friends no less has not been easy #we haven’t really hung out this year not bc of the feelings stuff but bc I was tired of always being the one to plan hang outs and outreach #this has always been our dynamic #she’s just not the initiator type #which was fine at first #but for me the more I put into a friendship the more I expect in return #so it was hard not to take it personally when things didn’t change after we talked abt it #anyway she graduated college today #and idk if it just really sunk in that this is very likely the last time we will ever be in proximity to each other #but something abt it just kinda hit me today #a part of me wishes she had reached out #but maybe this is for the best #I feel I shouldn’t have to ask for what I need every single time #the down side is that knowing that doesn’t cancel out the years of friendship #I’ve always had a hard time letting people go #a part of me almost always cares about them for a long time #it’s hard bc my college experience was largely knowing that while I had friends I likely wasn’t their top choice #or part of their larger group #I floated around a lot which was cool sometimes and lonely other times #but if there was any person who I would have expected or I guess even just wanted to put in more of an effort it was her #personal #rambles #vent #it is complicated navigating friend expectations vs crush yearning #but I like to think that I can be rational enough to distinguish between the two #and so not ask for anything that is outside the reasonable expectation for friends #idk man it’s been an emo day overall ig

[gibbearish]

am finally back home and can say without a doubt that i am just fundamentally not built for long distance travel however the train was much nicer than planes

#that being said. pressurized cabins drive me insane a little bit #and also it gives you pretty intense sea legs for a While #like. the ones from the first trip hadnt gone away by the return one. so. might be stuck with that for a few days #we shall see #also ajr live fucks severely #the albums were already incredible but that was a goddamn religious experience #like. idk the way i think abt it is theyre more djs than a regular band esp w their performance showing the making of way less sad #like their music is very electronic‚ theyre making mixes of their own sound effects more than singing in one go #so like. the vocals were a teeensy bit rough at times #notably times it has taken me Literally Hundreds Of Hours Practice to be able to consistently sing along with #and times ive found its literally physically impossible to like. no matter what #idc how big your lungs are‚ there is no human on earth who can do that final run of karma in one breath #much less to An Entire Stadium After An Hour Of Jumping And Dancing And Singing Loud As Fuck #so like i dont blame them for that‚ you dont go to live shows expecting it to be 100% perfect anyways jwbdjsbfksb #the trumpet however. well she was certainly playing sometimes. and was very enthusiastic about her flares. #however. in most of their songs they use midi trumpets to my ear at least #meaning she was likely an addition specifically for live performances and in my personal band kid opinion #prooobably was not in any of the like. higher tier bands? idk just. a lot of the mistakes she was making were hitting as stuff that got #taught out of us the instant we joined any band beyond regular concert #so i would guess she was probably just like. a friend who happened to play trumpet in high school or maybe even just middle school #and they knew that the trumpet parts in their pieces were big and distinct enough that like they /had/ to get a live player #and just kinda. didnt anticipate the audition -> performance gap #like. her tone was really fried the whole time like she was playing as hard as possible #which. she was mic'd. have the sound guy turn her up. #the way they did it made it sound like she was using a mute but not. like she only got the bad parts of a mute from it yknow #her tempo and timing were. bad. theres no nice way to put that one it just Was Bad‚ like the trumpet runs in ajr songs arent. complicated #like. quite literally if you handed me the sheet music right now i would have it down perfect in a week at absolute most #and better than that player on sightread. like. we did so many sightreading drills. #like ill share my band kid creds if anyone cares but i need to emphasize this isnt me being braggy like. they genuinely just arent hard #fuck im out of tags. w/e i think only like one of yall also listens to them anyways so i can leave it there

[widevibratobitch]

.

#im so tired of this lalalalalalalalaa #something is Wrong lol #i really need this therapy on wednesday but guess WHAT im not going. im going to a funeral instead 🤡 #and ill be singing in that stupid fucking church because have to but i dont fucking wanna i hate doing it and i hate churches #all i feel rn is the overwhelming urge to selfdestruct and like obv im not gonna kms now #but im so fucking angry that im not even *allowed* to do that anymore. like it was such a comfort all this time to know that i can just Quit #and now i cant because guess what someone has to take care of my mother 🫠 and im so fucking tired of being someone people depend on #to handle THEIR feelings and THEIR emotions and just take it all with humility and acceptance and kindness and never snap and bite back #like i dont WANNA hear about your dead husband i dont wanna hear about your stupid fucking boyfriend #i dont wanna hear about the new guy/girl who's hitting on you because you're so hot and perfect #i dont wanna be responsible for how people feel. i should just shut up and take it and be humble and never ask or expect anything back #but when is it MY turn to call at 1 am crying about how im tired and want to kms #or to start expecting shit of people and allow myself to get properly angry at them for not meeting those expectations #or to braggingly 'complain' about something the other person clearly lacks without any consideration for their feelings #or to just openly cry and say deeply personal shit without any filter not caring if that other person is clearly uncomfortable af #because *i* need it right now and i need someone to listen and let them worry about how to even respond to that stuff #im just so tired of people expecting shit of me im tired of being made responsible even tho i clearly cannot handle that responsibility #i wanna be mean i wanna snap and get angry and openly say that i dont give a shit and am tired and cant listen to this rn #but i cant because i have to be a motherfucking mother theresa and never dare to demand something for myself #and idk where that comes from. idk if it's coming from the fanatic catholicism of my childhood or my mother or just from myself and idc #i just feel so horrible and guilty and wrong for wanting anything for myself #and it once again feels like im making myself the victim and the tortured martyr here when i should just shut up and take it #i just wanna lie down and die and not care about who'll get angry or judge or blame me for it im tired and i dont know what to do #i want someone to take care of ME and reassure ME and make ME feel like i matter and that they really will help me if i ever need it #and that they'd be kinda sad if i were gone not because i had a role to fulfill that i failed at by killing myself but because i am a person #<- math calculations flying around my head as i come to the terrible realisation #of just why exactly im so deeply obsessed with my voice teacher (aside from her being literally the most beautiful woman alive lol) 🤡 #like babygirl stop being so utterly overwhelmingly kind to me my knees are weak i would do anything for you queen and I MEAN IT

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

i don't think it would even feel good to be loved the way i am rn

#just an absolute disaster of a human being. i want to be a more complete person before anyone decides they wanna put up w me forever #like i know being loved at your lowest is supposed to be like. oh they truly love me for who i am deep down. they even love be as a mess #but idk i just know i would feel undeserving no matter how obvious they made it that they loved me. i dunno if that can ever be fully heale #i don't want to be seen being THIS pathetic lmao but ig that's also why i feel like love has never been in the cards for me #why i have such a rich fantasy life #i guess it like all just comes down to the fact that i have never once expected to be loved no matter how badly i crave it #i would always be overcompensating for being the way i am LMAO just feeling like a useless waste #i know people love me but i have never deluded myself far enough into believing that i could ever find love #which is why ig the easy way is so appealing. soulmates and all that #not having to do any of the hard work for the perfect love #but all-in-all when it's said and done i do not want to settle my standards are never going to change #so it is pointless to want for anything and it's pointless to pretend i don't... and i guess what i'm left with is just #longing! in a nutshell!! #i want to be someone's person very badly. someone's first choice. someone's only choice. etc etc #but y'know. it is what it is

[unproduciblesmackdown]

thirty tags generally never being enough: LOS-307 also having a perfectly neurodivergent time manifesting as their having a distressing/harmful experience that goes ignored (as does their talking about it, from [forewarning] to [increasingly urgently remarking on it]) b/c no one else shares it, and their efforts to help themself out by requesting a break from a task that's overtaxing them or trying to cool the room to cool themself are thwarted b/c [not continuing to overheat for their own current wellbeing And to avoid its exacerbation and an outright crisis] is dismissed for [i do want to keep playing this game to win it though] and [i would be uncomfortable if cold]. also that when it's way too late it's like oh ok Now um well just cool down it's fine lol. just like irl. iconique autistique

#LOS-307 #i mean this like [the internal experience Can't really exist or be a Problem: not in any way that a) means anyone would take action to #help with that and/or b) means the affected person would be allowed to take action to help themself with that] is more broadly nd #of course nt people have parallel experiences but Do have the sense of being justified in expected their reaction to be Taken Seriously #& this can be tied in to Other [there's a power dynamic] experiences like environments / situations being structured around the norm for #one group while others are having to make all these additional efforts &/or endure a worse time while experiencing this #and the people they could complain to would be like ''well I'm not [experiencing that] & everyone's Been acting fine sooo'' #but cue any sensory factor that is understood to be a ''normal'' & thus ''''universal'''' bother.... #then anyone can immediately drop everything & move heaven & earth about it. like well of course? #fidget cubes as nd sensory/stim aids then interpreted Mainstreamly as a frivolous fad b/c what else could this experience be #gotta ban them from classrooms b/c adhd students stimming or doodling or just being unable to focus Always is like #well that's way deprioritized versus the concept of Normal Kids theoretically being distracted by a Toy #or that yeah say someone's needing to fidget or stim & that Is distracting someone else? #well guess who's always the one who has to stop. that there's not eve an Idea of conflicting needs/experiences when They're the one thrown #or yknow distracted by [w/e condition] or bothered or distressed or impeded from being able to do [xyz] or etc etc #and like i said all the [LOS-307 being chatty & friendly & enthused & reaching out & this isn't interacted w/at all for the longest time & #they have to go ''ok well i'm biting & killing you now?'' before it's recognized] like yeah a day in the life. I'D chat w/you bestie #and even that the fact they don't Already have friends meaning They're not getting key help/backup as they try to bite & kill you.... #unfair tbh. connected devices aren't their friends #oh one Pure Visual Element....they had a vending machine price display go [hello lunella] as she walked by. & didn't notice that either!! #how cute of them & =( hello LOS.... #giving them the ''well another autistic hero'' award. their experiences resonate! they deserve it! #they're melting down; they wanna be more chill; they're minimizing their own experience / telling themself what they Should do.... #screenshot as they display an infinity symbol while saying they're only 8 months old but time is a human construct....

[theswedishpajas]

Do you have any songs that you like and recommend? Related to Beetlejuice or not! 🪲 🧃 🎶

Ooooo!!!!!!!!!!

I’m gonna preface this by saying that I like to listen to a lot of random music with varying degrees of adult content and if you’re a minor or not comfortable with that stuff, please don’t take my recommendations at face value and keep yourself safe and happy. A lot of the music I listen to gets really vulgar and dark and often touch on very existential or crude topics as those are the things my brain latches onto due to my own mental health.

I have so much music I really enjoy but it’s so hard to pin it down cus I either love every song from one band/artist almost equally (and extremely much) or I love random specific songs but to a lesser degree…!

I’m a really big fan of Will Wood in general, prolly my alltime favorite artist!! I don’t even really know an album I would recommend tho as all of them are so very different!!!

It’s kinda on a spectrum of depression and unhinged to somewhat okay and pretty calm, with his first album being on the unhinged&depression side and then in order until his latest album they slowly become more calm and healthier but still sorta struggling? That’s how I think I’d describe his music!!

The topics in the songs are very existencial a lot and get really dark so that’s something to look out for if that’s not gonna work out for you tho!!!!!

For a beginner listener I guess I might recommend the Self-Ish album, mainly because that’s the first album by him that I listened to, but also cus it’s really energetic and fun in it’s existencialism, it’s just kinda crazy more than anything else-!

Other than that…

*flips through youtube real quick to see what I like cus my memory doesn’t work right*

OH OF COURSE

Now, my taste in music is kinda fucked up-

But I’ll give a (much smaller than expected) list of songs (ESPECIALLY WITH THE MUSIC VIDEO) that I really enjoy for that exact reason:

Bring Me All Of Your Teeth by Hot Dad

O b l i v i o n by Ctrl Ult Delete

I am realizing I don’t wanna call songs I like fucked up without them being very specific cus idk what’s normal or not and I don’t want anybody to think a song they like is weird in a bad way or anything but I feel like these two are okay to call kinda fucked up!!! (Affectionate)

UHHHHHH

Man, I really don’t have any good grasp on anything I enjoy at all unless it’s a special interest???

I’d be happy to share the playlists I listen to the most if anybody wants to listen to them cus idk what else I’d actively recommend???

#ask #rambles #music #I am a goddamn mess don’t look at me lmao #I admire you humoring me and my weird brain and indulging in my very strange interests!!! #this lil wrinkly lump of mine which is also my entire being in the realest sense is all over the place all the time #there was literally a time I completely genuinely listened to all the Clowncore albums on repeat for a month or two-! #my gray matter blob is just going wild-!! #I literally have no idea about anything at any point unless I am staring at it or am asked a very specific question #idk what I enjoy man. I’m just a lil dude with autism and ADHD and suddenly I know all the songs by a random fucked up artist-!!! #thank you for the ask #I know I didn’t really answer very elegantly but I never do with things so I guess this was the outcome that was expected maybe-? #i talk so much and never about the topic at hand and suddenly I’ve recommended a whole-ass thing instead of being specific #I can never tell what the rules are for questions like this but technically the Self-Ish album contains songs?? (and only songs ofc) #so I guess I didn’t answer it WRONGLY technically?? #idk man idk #I would recommend beetlejuice music in general but my brain is taking that very literally and I’m not about to ask- #-people to go check out Vieze Jack cus that doesn’t feel very responsible even if I do absolutely love that gross babie of a man #it’s all dutch and I understand nothing but there IS a dedicated person out there who uploads his music videos with english subs #and I also have a friend who helps me translate when I need to (everyone say thank you to Kerenitychan!!!) #he started as a beetlejuice street/stage/whatever performer and later used it to make a name for himself #he has very weird toonjuice vibes and I love him so much-!!! #he once did the ice nucket challenge by pissing into a bucket and pouring it over a girl (but not really) and he’s so fucked up #bucket* #I love him so much #but he’s been trying to slowly change his brand. ge’s still got strong juice vibes but he’s gotten a more BJ-adjacent vibe now instead of- #-the full stripes and dark purple around the eyes and whoever does his hair is better now and stuff and I think his budget has just- #-improved over-all and idk he looks nice idk #ANYWAYS I NEED TO STOP RAMBLING ABOUT VJ LMAO #I should try to find my fanart of him and post it on here cus I haven’t yet since it’s not new art OTL

[thisgodwontforgiveyou]

mostly as time passes man of medan just becomes very very very funny as a standalone piece of media

#the opening ensuring literally no one would like it like any type of person who could possibly blindly accept the rest of it #having their getting yelled at on twitter senses flare up and running to hide under a leaf or perhaps overturned thimble #and every type of guy expecting some kind of. i dont even know i guess la noire type beat #getting. man of medan

[variuss-petals]

spending a lot of time making something and then no one buys it or even looks at it, like what’s the point in even trying, you know, like, what

#it's probably my own fault for being so bad at sharing my own stuff but even when i do the people who are #in theory #supportive of me don't really show much support other than hitting the like button #i feel bad for expecting things from family but i would have appreciated at least a single comment on what they thought of it #it's still my fault anyway because i am still very bad at promoting my stuff i guess #it's just already very disheartening and then on top of that nobody every looks at my stuff on my art account on twitter not even my friends #so it just feels like there's no point in trying at all and i am not motivated at all to finish any of my actual paintings #because nobody even looks at a drawing that i put actual effort into so why should i bother putting my all into a painting nobody cares abou #t #and i feel like such a baby complaining about it because that's all i do all the time now #i just complain and complain and complain and complain and that's all i am just a stupid complaining robot #it's just that i don't know how to do anything and the few things that i do know how to do aren't good enough and nobody cares #i just don't feel well ever and i never ever feel like it's ever going to change ever #personal #mypost #my post