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#this is like the closest I am getting to my goals
urpaperboy · 2 days
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Desolation
A YV Fan Au created by me !! Mateo/urpaperboy !! :)
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Hi !! So I made these doodles on the whiteboard that @itsargyle made and got going on here rn and well people were interested in me talking about it so here I am !!
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Welcome to Desolation, A Steampunk styled YV Fan AU !!
The Term Desolation means - a state of complete emptiness or destruction or anguished misery or loneliness.
This was fan product I created back in 2021 and have and continued growing along side a couple of my friends in the YV community, and while although I haven’t written anything about it, I know how both the story begins and ends. So let’s talk about that !!
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The Plot
Everyone has their beginnings, middles, and ends. Everyone's beginnings either start bright or tragic. In this story, we follow the life of Seth, one whose beginnings started both bright and tragic and ended bright and tragic too. Seth is the so called “proud inventor” of the town, ones who inventions are beloved by many people around him, including Alphonse, which Seth has grown to love and care for and hopes to have a future with. But when tragedy strikes amongst the two, it sends Seth down a path of Desolation. But to keep his beloveds memory alive, he invents what can only be his greatest creation and the possible escape from his grief. But with that, comes a price, that the two of them must face and pay with in Blood and Tears, and possibly Oil too.
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The Characters
Seth
- Seth in this AU of mine is the main protagonist of the story. He’s an inventor !! Again, the “proud inventor” of the town he lives in. He has made many things for everyone and even owns a small shop in the town where people can view what he is creating just by looking through a window. Although most see him as a bit of a weird person for focusing their life to the inventions, the entire town loves him !! He has made himself quite a popular one in the town. But of course, he faces his own struggles and grievances, especially now that he knows the man he fell in love with, is now gone. But with the creation of his biggest invention ever, he hopes that maybe his broken heart can be healed and made anew, but unfortunately not everyone gets that.
Alphonse/A.I.phonse
- Alphonse is technically a protagonist too but not in the way you expect. For the first few parts of the story he runs a small business of selling sugars and sweets, which is actually running very well. And (and this is completely obvious) he has a rather close relationship with Seth (hehe crush moment), but unfortunately, his story comes to an end. But when tragedy strikes, something new blooms.
Meet A.I.phonse, A Robot created in Seth’s image in the hopes to keep a small resemblance of Alphonse alive, sounds a bit psycho but I promise it’s not. Throughout the story, he is there to help Seth Process his Grief, and help him attempt to continue with His Life. He learns like a newborn child in the world, he learns about life and other things. But as he grows, the realization of existence begins to become his biggest question.
Finn/Jack
Finn and Jack are one of the closest friends Seth. They are the one who help him out whenever Alphonse can’t. Finn has his flower shop which Jack works in too. When Alphonse dies, The Two boys make it their goal to at least keep Seth happy, although it is rather difficult considering Alphonse literally dies in Seth’s Arms so it was a rather traumatic experience and definitely difficult to try and keep someone happy after that. But although the challenge is difficult, they keep trying, because who wants to see their friend sad?
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These are the other characters that are in the story but can’t really write much about at the moment
- Charlie
- Derek (he’s obviously a the antagonist)
- Jessie
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That’s currently what I can share so far !! I’ll post a character line up of all the characters when I fix them up and actually do it soooo yeah !!
If you have any questions for me about this AU, my inbox is open, I’d be happy to answer these questions !!
- Mateo ⭐️
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oughhhhhhhhhhhh........ 89 F days in early May..........
#like 77F inside my ROOM right now whilst I try to get ready for bed and such.. DESPITE putting like layers of cover#over the windows and blocking the sun out for nearly the entire day.................................... evil#which I know is not bad compared to some places I guess but just...grrr....#Wild that one of my primary life goals and unreachable dreams is just ''live in a place with good air conditioning'' lol#No 'dinky little ac you have to tediously install in the window' that will be loud and annoying and keep you awake#and you can hear everyhting outside all the time and etc. etc. no.... the entire house... on one big air conditioning system....#imagine.............#Some news station posted a status like 'yaay summer weather! hope everyone has fun at the parks this weekend!''#... posts written by people who must live in some alternate reality or something ghjbhj...#One persons ''hellish doom pit of misery'' is another persons ''fun tee hee outdoor activity weekend~'' I suppose#I mean its also that my health problems just make me overly heat sensitive so there is SOME practical reason behind my preferences#also.. but even before I had as many physical issues. I just always loved that type of weather so much more and generally didn't like heat#MY version of ''OOh nice weather to go outside in!!!'' would be like.. 40F and partly cloudy. or gray skies misty and 60F or so. lol#... misty with gray skies my dearly beloved.... fog...... hail.... precipitation in general.... my closest ally and companion#... now I am daydreaming about them (cold weather conditions)...
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autisticlee · 10 months
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I want to be rich enough to afford my own business, then live off that so I don't have to work for anyone else and can make my job meet my own needs/comfort that other jobs cannot. getting and keeping a job as an neurodivergent and/or disabled person in a neurotypical and ableist society is so frustrating and overwhelming. they refuse to meet your needs, accommodate you, blame you for your struggles, and are hardly ever accepting, because you're a "burden" to them and don't meet their ridiculous expectations so you get rejected or fired! the only choice is to do it yourself!!!!! but even starting/running businesses seems to be greatly gatekept by them too 😭
one problem is that it seems only people who are already rich can start their own physical business, in this world today. only people who don't really need to work because they're born into money can make money off their own work. then they call it hard work and pulling their boot straps or whatever 🙄 so they just hire others to do all the work for them and take most the profits. then tah-dah, they have a successful business and only had to tell some people what to do and let them all do the rest for them. I can't afford anything that goes into my own business, especially the physical shop and hired help. my living situation makes it difficult to work from home because I live in a walk-in closet sized room with the entirety of my belongings squished into the small space. i'm trying my best to make things to cell (currently stickers, art prints, 3d anime/video game figures, etc) but it's so difficult and stressful.
or alternatively, get lucky, or have social skills and spoons, to get popular enough online so you can start online first or even full time. you usually have to be super social and interesting online to gain a following who supports you and becomes your fan. not everyone is lucky to have an enticing personality (I barely have one at all 😔) and the spoons to consistently keep up with the demand to keep people interested and continuously supportive. most people online treat it all as a competition and won't help others. they refuse to share your stuff or give advice or work together. they just care about themselves and their business.
the only real advice I got is "be consistent," which i'm sure any chronically ill, disabled, or ND person knows that's basically impossible. some days are good, some weeks are horrible and you can't do anything. that's why i'd work better with a team of others so we can fill each others gaps and stay seemingly consistent, if that makes sense. if there's multiple of us, at least one of us should have the spoons to keep things going! right???? but most online businesses are single-person run and they don't want to share and split anything, even if it's just a small collab for fun (I experienced first hand how gross fellow creaters can be to each other because they treat it as a competition instead of a collab and opportunity to enjoy working together and boost each other up. I will never forgive the bts fanart community for how snobby, childish, and bullying many of the "bigger" were behind closed doors! and smaller ones that licked their boots! ive also heard similar stories about other communities and places, like twitch, youtube, etc.)
then there's the whole business managing thing and promoting and all that. i'm a nobody on the internet, so even if I did online business only to start, no one will notice me or help! (I've actually tried before multiple times in the last almost decade and sold nothing but still struggled to keep up 😅) i barely have the executive functioning spoons to take a shower more than once a week 😭 running a business all alone with all the factors pitted against me? how! i can't hire help if no one pays me lmao
when i've asked for help before, even just asking friends to share my stuff, I get slapped with the whole "stop caring what people think about your work/numbers aren't important/do it because you want to and enjoy it/etc" and that's so insulting because it makes me feel like they're trying to say my work is horrible and worthless and I don't deserve to live off my hard work!!!!! (I'm no longer friends with these people)
what it comes down to is, I always feel like my only choice to actually work and possibly afford to survive is to start my own business????? I can't live off my parents forever and part time minimum wage jobs that I could *maybe* get (even if I was rejected from 200 of them in 2 months...) including the one I fo now are so painful, boring, unfulfilling, and/or stressful and not worth it! but no one will hire me for anything better because no experience and you need experience to get experience. or you need a degree and need money to get a degree but need degree to make money. and it's a whole paradox that is impossible for someone like me to get through. I get rejected at every interview for being autistic. i'm burnt out trying. I feel like i'm at a dead end and don't know what i'm supposed to do?
do any other autistic/ND/disabled people feel the same way?
I usually get told to "wait and it will happen one day" but this is life we are talking about!!! life doesnt wait!!!!! i'm not a teen/20s with ~my whole life ahead of me~ i'm getting older fast and have zero openings or paths that I can take alone. I know my disabled limits and it means I can't just make things happen like other people. I can't live independently or get a normal job, etc. I cant wait around forever and hope I get lucky. i've never experienced any luck so I don't believe it will help me. so I put in what work i'm capable off all the time instead of waiting, but see no useful results. I do my best despite what people on the outside see and tell me (I'm so fucking tired of hearing i'm Not Trying, Giving Up Too Easily, Being Too Negative, Refusing To Leave My Confort Zone, Not Believing In Myself and etc. it's NOT true. I don't care if that's how it looks. being disabled is NOT those things!!!! just because normal daily things takes more spoons and energy and effort for me than you, I need more help, and I dont have the ability to physically or mentally do certain things, (which means doing things beyond that is nearly impossible in most cases,) doesn't mean Those Things. no one understands how hard I try, how much I struggle, and how frustrating it is for it to all crash down, never work, and not matter. only very few people in similar situations understand and don't try to push me. I NEED SUPPORT not someone to remind me of how much I fail because I can't meet NT and abled expectations and do things THEIR way!
anyway, I fell into huge rant....is it possible for us to come together and make a ND/disabled-led business and only hire others like us? that would be cool and helpful. if I could start my own business, I want it to be mostly friendly/inclusive/accommodating to ND/disabled people. NTs/ableds have to follow our "rules" for once. a safe business/work space made for us, by us. it would be hard, but so beneficial to those involved 😭
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spicysucculentz · 1 year
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Guess I’m not transferring for fall 2023! Fuck! Is that a good or bad thing??! Idk!! I save a little more money though before I inevitably hightail it out of here to the big public university that charges stupid amounts of money to in state students
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gibbearish · 1 year
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eggecutive vp 270 infested with three flyfish im deperately trying to bomb but theyre all out of range and the person with the inkjet only bothers to pop it when theyre the last one alive, revives us all in one shot and then doesnt bother to go after them after. bb girl its a special youre supposed to use it in special situations and a flyfish infestation is literally what you are made for youre 270 you should know this
#please for the love of god mr grizz just let me pick my special no one else can be trusted with it#literally if i have the inkjet i get excited bc it means i get to chew through flyfish whyyyyy would you not use it right#i should get a flyfish tattoo#ive said this before but my goal in life is to get the bronze silver AND gold flyfish badges and have that be my entire badge section#my username had been gayluigi for years but at that point id change the display name in game to gayflyfish#we have a love hate relationship is my point#but back to the main point: if you are blessed with the flyfish ruiner it is your job to ruin the flyfish and keep the rest of us safe#hit the red side first to make sure it wont kill you then take out the other half#red side always targets the closest player so i like to bomb that one to make sure ill be safe refilling then take out the blue side#i can usually get both sides in one cycle#blue side targets a random player so like if u know ur gonna die id bomb that one to protect ur teammates and then itll target you#with the other side but youre dead already so theyre rendered useless#to defeat the flyfish you have to think like the flyfish‚ truly understand the machinations of their minds#you also have to be good at bombs unfortunately#but on the bright side i am now insanely annoying with my point sensor in turf bc flyfish eliminater tranates to good bomb aim and#better ink monitoring#its part of why im a nautilus main is i can constantly mark people for death#whether by myself or by others You Cannot Hide From The Circle#sorry for rambling this is my first edible in a while LMAO#im just very passionate about flyfish and also the nautilus#splatoon 3
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hellsitegenetics · 2 months
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I’m here for your weirdest little guy, the most whacky little goofball you can provide. I haven’t decided if they’re going to become an oc or just some doodle motivation, but I have seen so many people get really pretty creatures so I am hoping to break that streak and get the freakiest freak you got! Dream goal would be if you pulled out something on the same level as a tailess whip scorpion, (if anyone is even slightly arachnophobic I would not look them up, they are like the “worst” parts of spiders cranked up to 11, otherwise definitely look them up they’re cool as hell)
That’s all I got, let’s test my luck!! Big money no Whammies!
String identified: ’ t tt g, t t ac tt ga ca . a’t c t’ gg t c a c t tat, t a a gt a tt cat a g t a tat ta a gt t at a gt! a ga t tg t a a a ta c, ( a gt aacc t t , t a t “t” at ca t , t t t t’ c a )
Tat’ a gt, t’ tt c!! g a!
Closest match: Solanum dulcamara genome assembly, chromosome: 12 Common name: Bittersweet nightshade
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dear-bunnyboo · 10 months
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𝐈𝐃𝐆𝐀𝐅 || 𝐉𝐎𝐄 𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐎𝐖
i am suffering from the worst writers block ever! i only really had inspiration to write this fic in general so updates on my other requests and fics will take a little more time :)
IDGAF means “i don’t give a fuck” by the way for those who don’t know. I also had to research an appropriate job description this reader can brag about, enjoy! ;)
𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Joe Burrow x Reader
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: You notice the Bengals’ new staff member flirting with your boyfriend, however, Joe thinks that you are acting childish for saying so— you decide to show Joe that you didn't give a fuck.
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: 18+ mature content, cursing, in denial!Joe, light angst, fluff, flirting, arguing, jealousy?, established relationship, party setting, mentions of alcohol consumption, slight sexual tension, some dirty talking, smut?, pda, allusion to sex, sexual tension, no cheating!, badass!reader, slight groveling, paparazzi
𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐜. 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 || 𝐌𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
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The speakers were blaring all throughout the club— the colorful flashing lights danced across each and everyone’s skin as it circles the place.
Sitting with your legs crossed you giggled as you listened to one of your closest friend rant about a recent embarrassing moment that happened to her at her office— you are currently surrounded by the entire Cincinnati Bengals team at the VIP area of the club— the staff, crew, coaches, players, and their significant others celebrating their win at the AFC Championship not long ago.
You were sitting prettily next to a couple of WAGs wearing a copper halter neck jumpsuit that hugged your body in the right places, showcasing your curves while accentuating your height— alternating from taking a sip from your drink and nodding to what your friends were discussing, not long after, you felt a familiar warm heat land on your upper thigh.
Looking to your right, you were met with your boyfriend, Joe who was busy speaking with Sam and Tee— his eyes trained on them, however, his large hands was on your right thigh, running his hands up and down, occasionally squeezing it from time to time.
Joe was a very private person especially when it comes to his personal life. So he is not the type of guy who would do PDA and you were okay with that— it was never really your goal to flaunt your relationship with Joe out in the open— in fact, you enjoy the moments you have in private, the Joe you and only you can see.
“You should send me that video. It sounds way too good to be true.” you chucked, brushing the strands of your hair away from your face as you jokingly pointed at your friend— teasing her about the failed tiktok she attempted to do in her office that her boss caught her doing.
“If I do, you’ll have to do it with me.” She laughs.
Before you could reply back, Joe interrupted you from your conversation, “Babe, I’d like you to meet someone.” He said.
Turning to look at your boyfriend, you were met with an unfamiliar redhead.
“This is, Stacie— she is the new athletic trainer of the team.” Joe introduced her.
Getting a good look at the girl, she was pretty, Stacie was a little bit shorter than you, with red hair that was curled behind her, she was wearing a white dress, and she had a huge smile on her face that rubbed you the wrong way— you were all for women supporting women but you can smell bitches from a mile away.
It’s a talent.
It was a self defense mechanism.
You grew up in a well-off family— that only meant fake friends, fake love, fake sympathies, fake laughs— fake smiles. Growing up in such way you have learned to spot the difference from the people who genuinely enjoy your company and the people who wanted to be best friends because your dad drove a Rolls Royce.
“Hi, Stacie. I’m Y/N, nice to meet you.” you greeted her with a soft smile that funnily enough was as fake as hers.
“Do you also work for the Bengals? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you around the facility.” Stacie asked, turning her head to look at you and then at Joe.
“No, I don’t work there— I’m Joe’s girlfriend.”
And just like that her plastered smile faltered by a second— a twitch that only you managed to catch.
“Stacie has been helping me with my knee a lot.” Your boyfriend chimes in making the redhead peer up at the quarterback in awe at the acknowledgment, you could practically hear her purring.
Shaking your head off those thoughts, you took a deep breath and managed to give Stacie a real smile, “Thank you, I’m glad he’s in good hands.” I nodded at her, cause at the end of the day, she was good at her job— she wouldn’t be qualified for hire if she wasn’t. That’s all you cared about— that Joe was being taken care of, especially when it comes to his injuries.
You trusted Joe with every ounce of your being and he trusted you— there was no reason for you to nitpick on every little detail you find off from that woman. You trusted your boyfriend’s judgement, and knowing Joe, you know how hard it is for him to trust people as well— so as long as he thinks she’s cool then you’re cool.
You were rising above.
“Oh, he’s in very good hands.” Stacie giggled before running her hand up and down your boyfriend’s bicep.
Looking towards Joe, he simply chucked in response.
You could feel your eye twitch.
You were rising above— You repeated in your head as if it was some sort of mantra.
Joe was being nice. That’s it. He is a nice man.
“So, Y/N, right? Let me tell you— I have been enjoying my time as an AT for the Bengals. Joe has been doing so well and has helped me feel right at home.” She giggles again before continuing, “I’m sorry, I’m talking too much about myself. How about you? What do you do?” She asks.
What do I do?— Joe fucking Burrow that’s what.
“I’m a creative director” you sipped on your drink side eyeing Joe as he laughs with Ja’marr— still refusing to acknowledge the fact that Stacie’s hand was still on him.
“Aw, that’s cute. For who?” she raised her eyebrow, taunting you as she feigned interest.
“Vogue.”
That seems to shut her up for the meantime.
You weren’t one to brag about the achievements and blessings in your life but she was pushing your last buttons— Joe included.
“I’ll go grab a drink.” Stacie told Joe as if he cared where she was headed.
You silently watched her walk towards the bartender before making your way closer to Joe who turned towards you in time. Your boyfriend eyed you up and down before placing a kiss on the temple of your forehead.
“You look like you were having fun with Stacie, If I wasn’t mistaken it seems like you found another best friend, huh?” Joe moved closer towards you as you stoically stared at him.
“It sounds like you are mistaken cause I wasn’t having fun at all.” You said to him in a lighthearted way, almost sarcastic as you watched his eyebrows furrow in confusion.
“You’re not having fun, baby?” Joe questions circling his arms around your waist.
“I was having fun— not with her though and I don’t think we’ll be friends anytime soon.” You shrugged not bothering to explain as you laid your head on his chest.
“What do you mean?”
Rolling your eyes, you lifted your head to look back up at the quarterback, “Joe, she clearly has a thing for you, she’s been flirting at you the entire time— right in front of my face too.” you sighed.
Joe simply shook him head, “She wasn’t, babe. She was just being nice.”
“Oh, I didn’t know being nice involved caressing someone’s bicep in front of that someone’s girlfriend.” You said sarcastically as you pushed yourself off of Joe’s embrace.
“Babe, she’s a touchy person that’s it. That doesn’t mean she was flirting.” Joe runs his hand across his hair frustratedly as he stared at you. You don’t know why Joe is deciding to act stupid— it was either he was playing stupid or he was just stupid and you hoped for it to be the latter— which concluded to Joe being stupid.
You eyed your boyfriend’s innocence, yeah, let’s call it that. Chuckling, you gave Joe a look, “Joe, baby, she’s flirting— hundred percent. She looks at you as if you cured cancer and I don’t blame her. Hell, millions of people look at you that way, Joe and I’m fine with that. My problem with her is the fact that not only was she disrespecting you with her touching but she was also disrespecting me by doing so.”
“Joe, I don’t mind her liking you— I trust you and I know for a fact that you won’t do anything to destroy that trust but what I cannot take is disrespect, Joey you know that.” you finished softly, hoping your boyfriend could take a hint.
“I know that, baby— but I’m just saying she’s a friend who is being friendly that’s it.”
Joe was being stubborn and you don’t think that screaming at him in public was technically “rising above”.
Before you could reply back, Stacie nudges her way between you and Joe— the redhead now had her arms wrapped around your boyfriend’s neck, making Joe lean down to her height so that she can whisper whatever to his ear.
You were pretty sure you had steam coming out of your ears as you watched Joe let her do whatever to him. It takes time for Joe to warm up to people, it took you a year of friendship for him to be even comfortable with you touching him— platonically even.
Now watching your boyfriend have absolutely no problem letting a woman he just met touch him is hurting you.
Zach Taylor calls Stacie over to introduce her to more people, ultimately leaving you and Joe in your seats as you listened to the pumping music in the background that accompanied the ringing in your ear.
“Wow, am I third-wheeling?” you joked, trying to mask the pain and anger lingering in your voice but to no avail it shows.
“What are you talking about, baby?” Joe turns back towards you with a confused yet frustrated look on his face which was pissing you off even more.
“Don’t fucking baby me, Joseph. What the fuck was that? You just let her touch you like that it front of me? I don’t know if you’ve been tackled way too hard today but you have seem to forget that I’m your girlfriend.” You argued, silently thanking the loud music for masking your voice and the dark lights for hiding your now pissed off look.
There were fans all around the bar— thankfully they were outside the VIP lounge but that didn’t stop them from taking pictures and videos of their favorite NFL players— you didn’t need videos of you and Joe fighting in public.
“Again with this? Y/N, seriously you’re being childish— stop being so fucking jealous and for the last time she’s being friendly.” Joe grunts as he finishes his entire drink in frustration.
Childish and jealous
Childish is what your so-called friends would call you back in high school when you confronted them for using you for money. Childish is what they called you when you refused to be their friend anymore. Childish is what your boyfriend of four years calls you for after defending a bitch that was flirting with him.
And jealous?
Bitch please. You were never jealous. Not once were you jealous of anyone in your life. You were the only child in a wealthy family— you had loving parents who spoiled you, you went to the best schools, had the best clothes, you have the best job that people will kill for, you have real friends that cared about you, as much as Joe was pissing you off— he was the best boyfriend.
You weren’t jealous of her, she was jealous of you.
You love Joe with all your being but if he even thinks about cheating on you with her or anyone in that matter— then they can have him.
Yes, he’s the Joe Burrow. The number one overall draft pick, the star player and quarterback of Cincinnati Bengals— but you were you, you were simply better.
And you’ve had it— having the Joe Burrow as your boyfriend has its ups and downs and you've learned to navigate through it together after years and years but this was something Joe needs to figure this out alone since he wants to act dumb.
Joe Burrow have officially crossed you in a way he hasn’t before and after this you know he’s gonna wish he hadn’t.
“Ok. I’m gonna go dance.” you said nonchalantly before leaving your boyfriend alone more confused now than ever as he watches you leave with the a few WAGs to the dance floor which was filled with people.
“Girl, are you ok? That Stacie was flirting with Joe so hard. Did you talk to him?”
“What did Joe say?”
“I swear to God if she makes a move on my man next — she’s gonna get fired.”
“Did you you two fight?”
All the questions being thrown you as you all danced in your own circle. You gave them a brief rundown of what happened they stared at you shocked.
“So? What are you gonna do?” One of them asked.
“Absolutely nothing.” You smiled as you moved your hips around to the beat.
“What?!” A collective response was met with a smirk on your face.
“He’s gonna figure it out all on his own— as of now, I don’t give a fuck.”
As you took on if the girls’ hands, dancing together to Reminder by The Weeknd which was ironically perfect for your situation— you felt heat from the side of your head, you didn’t need to turn around to know that Joe was staring at you— you wanted him to.
“Y/N, Joe is undressing you with his eyes.” one of your friends says nodding towards Joe.
You simply gave her a grin, “I’m hot. Who wouldn’t, honestly?”
“Miss Stacie looks like a kicked puppy and Joe is sat far away from her— seems like your plan is working.”
Of course it is.
You knew that without you next to Joe that Stacie would make her move— that gave your boyfriend all the time in the world to realize that you were right all along.
You feigned innocence, still dancing and singing to the song as one of your friends started to film you and the others.
“Ever time you try to forget who I am, I’ll be right there to remind you again— you know me~” you sang to the camera.
As you continued to dance, Joe couldn’t help but stare at you— a cloud of emotion lingering in him. He was very much in love with you and how good you are at moving your hips, he was guilty for calling childish and arguing with you, he was angry at himself for not believing you, he was also thoroughly furious at Stacie.
As soon as you left to dance, after replying to him unemotionally that scared that absolute shit out of him— Stacie immediately latched onto his side, giggling over something she found amusing that Joe seems to find himself not caring.
“Joe you look really good in this.” She says leaning towards him as she twirled her finger around his chest which ultimately rang red alarms all over Joe’s head— taunting him almost.
“Thanks” Joe says clearly uncomfortable as he politely moved her away from him but to his surprise she moved again towards him again, her mouth now on his ears as she whispered, “Do you wanna go somewhere more quiet, Joey?”
That was it for Joe.
He pushed her off him and quickly stood up— and glared at the redhead, the same redhead he defended to his girlfriend who was convinced she was disrespectful for flirting with him— and she was right.
Y/N is always right and Joe hated himself for not believing his girlfriend of four years.
“Stacie, I have a girlfriend who is not far from here and overall, you technically work for me, so this is unprofessional.” Joe said firmly to the redhead who just stared at him like she didn’t care.
Maybe because she didn’t.
“So? That’s why I asked you if we could go somewhere quiet. No one has to know.” She smirked.
And just like that he lost all the respect he has for her.
“I love my girlfriend and you both disrespected me and her. I’ll be talking with Zach in the morning about this— this is against a lot of the companies rules. I’ll also request for Zach to assign me a different AT— goodbye.” He turned his back towards her and sat himself in between Tee, Sam and Ja’marr who laughed at him.
“Took you long enough.” Ja’marr shook his head looking at him.
“What? How did you know?” The quarterback asks his friends who looked at him as if he was stupid.
He was.
“Everyone could see her flirting with you, man. It was painfully obvious— Zach already said he’s gonna talk to Stacie tomorrow. Don’t think she’ll have a job in the morning.” Ja’marr explained before chugging his drink down.
“And you didn’t bother telling me?” Joe asked exasperated, disbelief in his face as he stared at his friends.
“First of all, you’re a grown man— you should have figured out yourself a long time ago and secondly, your girlfriend told us not to do anything and according to her ‘to let you figure it out’” Tee explained doing air quotes with his fingers.
“She told you?”
“Yeah, we threatened to beat you up when we saw Stacie on you but your girl had other plans.”
Joe remained stunned thoughts circling his head as he watched you grind you hips against the other girls.
“Stop drooling and apologize to her, man.” Sam snapped Joe out of his viewing experience.
Without a second thought Joe’s long legs took him right behind you in just a few strides.
You didn’t need to see who was behind you to know that Joe was towering over you— a familiar heat draws you to him like magnetic, that and your friends gave you cheeky grins and winks before dispersing across the club.
However, you kept your back towards him, refusing acknowledge his presence. Knowing Joe, you knew that he was gonna take you somewhere private and quiet to talk— away from people seeing but to your surprise, Joe wraps his arms around you making you stiffen up before relaxing in his hold.
Joe was dancing behind you.
Good Lord— your handsomely hot boyfriend’s 6’4 stature was grinding onto you from behind.
What in the literal fuck.
“Joe wha– what are you doing?” You managed to choke out as you fought a moan coming out of your mouth as you felt his now hard length grind on your ass.
“Do you feel that? Huh, baby? That’s what you do to me, Y/N.” Joe breathes out into your hair.
“I know but why here? Let’s go somewhere els–” you rushed not wanting your boyfriend to feel obligated to do such things despite his discomfort in public display of affection.
“No. Baby I want to. You’re right, you’re right, you’re right. I’m so sorry, baby. You’re right about everything and I realize that now— you don’t have to worry about her anymore, I’ve dealt with it, my love.”
Turning around to face Joe, you see the sincerity, the vulnerability, the guilt, and anger in his eyes.
You knew he meant every word.
“I was never worried about her. I was worried about you.” You simply answered him, giving him a tight lipped smile, making him lean his forehead onto yours— determined more now than ever to see your real smile.
“I’m sorry for not believing you, I’m sorry for arguing with you and calling you such things, I’m sorry for making you think that I didn’t care— I do, baby. I love you so much.” Joe just kept on going, hoping to see your bright smile back up at him again.
“It hurt you know. It took me years to get you to be comfortable with me— and that’s only for our friendship but then watching you be so comfortable with her in such a short amount of time— it hurt.” you confessed, fiddling with your fingers as you watch the pain fill Joe’s face in the realization.
“I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. I’m sorry— but did you know why I was so uncomfortable with you touching me when we first started hanging out? It was because I was crushing on you hard, Y/N. I new it was you the moment we became friends and every time you hugged me, touched me, kissed me, it felt like I would go insane— I still do.”
Joe caresses your arms as he explains, slowly placing them around his neck as he swayed the two of you slowly— the two of you in your little corner of the club, the dancing bodies of strangers now became nothing but the background.
It was just you and Joe.
“But you know what I realized? Fuck it. I’m sorry it took me four years but fuck it. Who cares if they see us dancing in public? Who cares if videos of us touching each other reaches the internet? Everyone knows we’re dating— who cares? They should be worried about what we do in private.” Joe rants to himself mostly before whispering the last part in your ear— his soft lips kissing your earlobe before making its way down to your neck.
Joe licks and sucks onto the most sensitive part of your neck— marking you for the world to see, knowing very well the amount of fans and paparazzi were waiting for them outside.
“Let me take you home, Y/N. So that everyone will know your mine if they don’t already— I want all of them to know, the fans, the media, that bitch Stacie.” Joe continues before placing a wet kiss on your mouth, your tongues both fighting for dominance, teeth clashing as your lips gets sucked between his— Joe’s hands caressing every part of your body.
“I love you, please let me show you how much.” Joe practically begs making your squeeze your legs together even more.
“Take me home then.” you challenged a devilish smile forming on your face.
And before you know it, Joe was dragging you out of the club not even bothering to say goodbye to everyone— once you and Joe reached the outside, you were greeted by cameras taking pictures of you and Joe— your boyfriend keeps you locked in between his arms as you two navigated towards his car, heading home for the next party to begin.
You were right about one thing today: That Stacie was a two-faced bitch.
However, Joe was right about two things today: One, is the paparazzi did in fact wrote articles about the fresh hickeys on your neck as you and Joe raced out of the club disheveled, ultimately causing a stir in the media— and two, he did in fact love you very very very much and he showed you in a lot of different ways.
;)
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dividers: @cafekitsune
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𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @jackkyhughes @h0e4fictionalme-n @queenmendes @rd14 @scoobydoopoo @estapa94 @karmasabitchybitch @literaturelustrr @toterry @fangirl-madz @atticusismybae @stargaryenx @haydee5010 @porter113 @ryiamarie @starrgir1 @flwries @slafgoalskybaby @unsaidjaelinrose @in-my-body-bag @cixrosie @siutforjjmaybank @youn-jo @nobystanderz
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coilserpent · 4 months
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astrology observations pt. 13
Hello, everyone! 💜 I am back again with the observations after a long long time away from tumblr; I am taking sidereal birth chart readings, for those contact me at my email: [email protected]. Enjoy!
sidereal cancer is a natural yearner similar to sidereal taurus and libra, however it is not exclusive to a romantic interest. the yearning transcends romance, it goes to the past, friends, family, older versions of the self.
sidereal leo is pedantic about their goals, they like to track their progress and also keep their spaces clean and pleasant looking.
9th and 12th placements are experimental, they may not believe in the concepts presented to them but they do not reject them. 12th housers especially may even try them out and embrace something just to feel what it brings to them as an experience simply,
people put sidereal leo on a pedestal and look up to them because of their skills and the way they carry themselves, their wisdom too (magha nakshatra) but they feel like an impostor often and don’t even like being noticed in that way, they mostly prefer recognition for certain skills.
7th housers can’t learn their most valuable life lessons and develop themselves to their fullest potential without their 1:1 connections. be it business, friendship or romance. they take the wisdom from those unsuccessful relationships and use it to strengthen their 1st - sense of who they are outside of the relationships.
8th housers have a tendency to not let their traumatic experiences go and this stunts their ability to grow emotionally. (2-8 nodes especially here) they have a tendency to always remember the people closest to them did that affected them so deeply where they don’t even get out of this deep whole of negativity, this breeds chronic low self worth (2H) and no motivation to be more.
1st housers when not evolved may be tricked into giving a lot of attention to the 3D and associate 3D themes with what makes them “Them”, they may define themselves as their career and hobbies. this is a recipe for existential crisis because once those 3D elements change (they will) or are no longer interesting to the masses this individual essentially “loses value”.
sidereal taurus moon vs sidereal scorpio moon have polarizing approaches to lively aspirations. due to the exaltation of the Taurus moon and this sense of natural internal security they are born with has its downside, that shows up in someone as not striving for more than the ”comfortable” lifestyle and not really having build any special skills to achieve milestones. this makes them prone to falling into depressions later in life (and issues with overeating/drinking often). sidereal scorpio moons are not “blessed” with this sense of internal comfort, the hardships they face early on makes them motivated to rebuild themselves and acquire skills which are important for success. the other downside is they have to learn how to appreciate their achievements and not just diminish them and going for the next, taking time for a little rest now and then is okay, scorpio.
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urrockstar-xe · 4 months
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3 teen boys vs 1 pretty girl - j.m x fem!reader
posted feb 10th, 2024 10:24 pm
heres another belated v day post!! :D im working my way up guys look at me go, im running out of valentine themed songs though if you have recs and see this before the 14th pls send them to me!!
summary: John B and Pope have to help out JJ when he's under too much stress over a pretty girl, not proofread, use of Y/n.
masterlist
wordcount: 1.0k
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JJ wasn’t one for romantics, never was, never will be. He’s never witnessed real romance outside of TV shows and movies, although now that he has, with his best friend falling in love, JJ still just didn’t quite get it.
Until he met You, of course, because every sweet, enchanting, and cheesy love story has to start with the player meeting the one.
The one that broke down every little wall with a soft smile and pretty eyes. The one who saves everything while simultaneously ruining it all. 
At least in JJ’s eyes. 
“Dude, just admit you like her” Pope’s words went in one ear and out the other as JJ groaned into the old pillow, dramatically falling onto John B’s couch. “I think he did, just not in a comprehensible way” John B chuckled, shoving JJ’s feet off of his lap.
JJ groaned once more before shifting positions and sitting up on the opposite end of JB. “I don’t know what it is, man. She comes in, introduces herself with a pretty little voice, batting her pretty little eyelashes, smiling a pretty little smile on her pretty little face.” JJ’s voice was laced with irritation, his friends just laughed in response. 
“I think JJ thinks Y/n is pretty, Pope.” “No way, really?” Another round of laughter between the two boys made JJ scoff before chuckling a bit as well, he rubbed at his eyes. 
JJ’s laughter ended with a sigh, “She’s makin’ me crazy.” John B smiled at his friend, nudging his shoulder. “They have that effect huh?” JB remarked, sharing a knowing look with Pope before Pope pulled JJ up off the couch.
“What am I gonna do? I mean, I gotta really wow this girl, man I mean, she’s perfect” JJ gushed as he stared back at his friend who merely smiled back and shook his head. “Valentine’s Day is tomorrow, why don’t you go work that out with John B and I’ll continue studying.” Pope proposed the idea as JB stood up, patting JJ on the back before nearly dragging him out of the chateau by the back of his hoodie. 
“C’mon, we’re gonna make sure you get your girl by tomorrow night”
JJ and John B loaded up into the Twinkie, heading straight for the closest convenience store. JB distracted his lovelorn friend with loud music that the two teenage boys happily and obnoxiously sang along to. Once they finally pulled up to the store and went inside, John B led JJ to the aisle filled with red and pink colored cardboard, and heart-shaped candies.
“Dude, I don’t even know what kind of candy she likes,” JJ sighed, both boys scanning the wall of options. “This is gonna be harder than I thought.” John B mumbled. 
“It’s all just one big guessing game-” John B got cut off by the store clerk noticing them. 
“Maybank, I better not catch you stealin’ nothin'.” His gruffy booming voice caught their attention, heads turning towards the sound in sync. “Course not, Mr. Wade!” JJ waved, a small smile on his lips as the clerk shook his head and went back to his initial goal, leaving them alone once more. 
JJ watched as John B grabbed one of the blue baskets and started throwing random candy boxes into it. “What are you doing?” JJ furrowed his eyebrows. “She’s gotta like at least one of these, let’s just buy it all” John B shrugged, handing the basket to JJ who turned his attention towards the box full of small stuffed animals. 
JJ picked up a small cat before looking at the little dog holding a love heart. “Do you think she’s more of a dog person or a cat person?” “Which one do you want her to be?” 
JJ abandoned the cat and threw the dog in the basket, just as John B grabbed a pink bag covered in white hearts and threw it on top of their Valentine's treasures. 
“This should be enough right?” John B asked, earning a slightly concerned look from JJ. 
“Aren’t you supposed to be the professional here? I’m just the student!” JJ followed him to the counter and helped throw everything in front of Mr. Wade. 
“JJ, I don’t think people see either of us and think of the word professional.” and of course, he couldn’t argue with that.
JJ was left to his own devices the rest of the night, John B had a date with Sarah. 
He did his best at setting up the bag of goodies, before deciding it was good enough because nothing would be as perfect as you no matter how much he tried. 
Finally, Wednesday had come and right around the time you made it outside of your school building you were met with the sight of the Twinkie, eyes watching it as you laughed at something one of your friends said. You said your goodbyes before making your way to the old van just as JJ Maybank came out of the driver’s side and leaned on the passenger’s door. 
“Thought you dropped out, JJ.” You smiled at the blond, who happily mirrored you as he approached him. “You know, gotta come back every once in a while, see how the place is holdin’ up without me.” He shrugged, earning a chuckle from you.
JJ cleared his throat, standing up straight. “I wanted to surprise you. Ask you to be my Valentine.” Your smile got softer, that sweet look on your face almost making JJ chicken out but now he was too deep in. 
“So ask me,” you said softly, after a moment of waiting for him to continue. JJ laughed, shaking his head. “Right, yeah, sorry. Will you be my Valentine, pretty lady?” His voice was quieter than you were used to hearing, you couldn’t help but cover your face as you felt heat spread across your cheeks. JJ chuckled at your reaction before leaning forward just enough to remove your hands from your face. 
“Whadya say?” You smiled at him as he held onto your hands, whispering now that you were so close. “I’ll be your Valentine any day of the week, J.” He smiled back, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek before letting go of your hands and opening the passenger door, revealing the very same bag that was currently overflowing. 
“Awh, babe.” You smiled at the sight, picking up the little dog plush. 
“Hope you’re a dog person,” He said, grabbing the bag’s handles so you could get in the van. 
“And that you have a severe sweet tooth.” 
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mcu-coworkers · 11 months
Text
Where do broken hearts go?
Miguel O’Hara x reader
Summary: You decide to do Miguel a favor and give him what he wants. or so you thought you did.
Word count:1k+
A/n: I came up with this at 1am:0 pt.2 is in the works
Parts: I^ II  III
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Ever since the multiverse was disrupted he changed.
Little by little, day by day, you began to see it worsen. You began to see him worsen.
And there was nothing you could do to help him, he made that very clear.
You loved Miguel with every fiber of your being. It was almost embarrassing considering he barely did so much as look your way when he came home.
It wasn't always like this, and those were the moments you clung to when your thoughts were at their darkest.
Before all of this he was happy, we were happy.
The man   I   loved kissed me almost every second we were together and never went a day without telling me a cheesy punch line to get a laugh out of me.
When he proposed to you it was the happiest day of your life, you thought it could only get better from here.
You were marrying the love of your life. What could go wrong?
You understood him, or at least you tried but it was hard at times when the closest you could get to him lately was standing on the other side of the door to his office where he’d just ignore you some more.
The furthest you got was when you urged him to talk to you but all he said was “ You? What could you possibly do to help me? You don't even know what a cannon event is let alone an anomaly! Por dios.” and straight into his office he went.
As much as you loved your husband you knew that a minute more of this would kill you.
You were two strangers living under the safe roof at this point, he wouldn't even notice if you left.
So you did.
First you called your lawyer to prepare the divorce papers, next you found a place to stay, packed your bags and now you were ready.
You wanted to tell him face to face but as soon as you looked his way he shrugged you off once again.
“Not now Y/n  I   have reports to write for the spider society.”  and like always you were just another fly on the wall.
Sighing with tears brimming your eyes you grabbed a notebook and a pen.
You began writing a goodbye that he probably wouldn't even bother to read.
Dear Miguel,
Things haven't been the same for sometime now. It feels like the man  I   once fell in love with doesn't love me anymore and I've been hurting ever since.   I   feel like I'm holding you back from achieving your goal with all of these canon events and things  I   don't understand. I   can't live like this anymore and I'm sorry it took me so long to realize.   I   guess what I'm trying  to tell you is that I'm leaving. Next to this note that you might not even read is an envelope with divorce papers that I've already signed and left ready for you to give to my lawyer to finalize the divorce. Lastly,  I   want to thank you for giving me what will always be the best years of my life. I'll cherish them with everything  I   am and always smile at the beautiful memories we made together. I'm sorry things didn't work out the way we thought they would.
With love always,
Y/n L/n
You didn't realize at what moment you began to cry but you’d managed to stain the letter. At that point you had no energy to write the damn thing all over again so you just folded it up and left it on top of the envelope.
Taking off your ring and wedding bang you set them next to it and walked out the door.
Giving what was once your home one last look, you turned your back to it and let the cool air hit your face as you got in your car and made your way to the airport.
No more going back Y/n, no more Miguel O’hara.
Little did you know as soon as you’d closed that front door Miguel's head poked out of his office, you never went out this late at night.
“Y/n? What did  I   tell you about taking out the trash?  I  ‘ll do it.” he said as he came out of his office annoyed by your lack of communication.
“Y/n? Y/n! Donde estas mujer?” (where are you woman?) he spoke out as he walked around the house.
No response.
After checking all the rooms and coming up empty handed Miguel started to feel a tightness in his chest.
“Boss, you should see these reports.” Lyla said over his shoulder.
“Not now Lyla  I  ‘m looking for my wife.” he said, shrugging the AI off.
“You think that stuff on the counter will give some clues?” she said pointing towards the letters in the kitchen.
Stopping in his tracks he turned towards the kitchen.
There was no fucking way, he thought to himself.
You’d never do this to him.
But you did.
Opening the letter he read it and quickly that tightness in his chest got tighter and his body began to shake as he felt panic consume him.
“Miguel… that envelope.” Lyla said quietly hoping it wasn't what she thought. But it was and she could just see her boss begin to break.
Ripping the envelope open he realized this isn't some kind of sick joke from your part.
Seeing your signature at the end of the page broke Miguel to pieces.
He read over the letter over and over hoping to find some clue as to where you went so he could bring you back home to him.
He knew he'd been distant for some time now but he didnt know it had affected you this badly, if he did he would've changed.
He would do anything to keep you by his side. He thought that by coming home at a decent hour you'd be happy even if he was just in his office.
Well fuck was he so wrong about that.
Picking up your rings Miguel finally let go of the tears he’d been trying so hard to hold back.
The feeling of the cold silver in the palm of his hands was like a slap in the face forcing him to accept that you’d left him.
You left thinking he hated you and for that he’d never be able to forgive himself, not for that or any of this.
Taking a deep breath he tried to focus.
“Lyla, call Jess, tell her she's in charge of the spider society until  I find my wife and bring her home.” he ordered as he stood up walking towards your shared bedroom.
“Yes boss. Go get your girl back!.” she replied wishing him the best of luck before heading off to find his sub in.
Miguel had all the resources in the world, finding you would only take him seconds.
It was convincing you to come back that would be his biggest challenge.
But first he was paying a visit to your lawyer.
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heyhihellosworld · 1 year
Text
𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐬 "𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭"
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Lewis Hamilton x reader
Word count: 4.2k
Summary: Working on opposite teams but you have certain things in common
Warnings: Red bull, mentions of rb being sexist (made up things + some real things because let’s not sweep the reality under the rug), smut (very soft), fluff, angst. !Remember this is all fiction, I can’t speak on the whole team, this is a story!
Notes: I don’t really know what this is to be honest because it’s really random
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Working in formula 1 was your dream since you were a kid. Your whole family was really into the sport and you had always been extremely interested in both motorsports and cars so naturally you had studied mechanics and engineering. The dream was to work in formula 1 so when you got accepted into the Red bull team the whole family had been ecstatic, you had reached the goal.
But things weren't as amazing as you'd wish. Red bull had never been your favorite team but you didn't think it would be like it was behind the scenes. You were well aware of the gender discrimination in the sport, the amount of women in the teams were scarse and the ones who were there was met with a strong sexism. You were ready for that to come from the outside but you weren't expecting it to come from your own team.
It was not something that was usually shouted in your face but it was these subtle things, things they did that you weren't even sure they recognized but it drove you crazy. You didn't feel trusted and the comments that were dropped were just hindsight sexist. You tried your absolute best because the work in itself was what you loved, what you wanted to do but it was hard when it felt like everybody looked down on you because of something so simple as your gender. You had enough education, even more than most of the men that worked close to you but that didn't seem to matter, you were still looked down at.
It didn't make it better that you were good friends with most of the drivers, the rumors only speeding on the sexism both from your team but also from the outside.
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"What got you in such a mood?" Lewis chuckled at you, swinging his arm over your shoulder comfortingly as you stalked down the road.
"Take a guess" you muttered, still fuming from the previous interaction with your closest co-workers. Lewis sighed, nodding his head in understanding as his look transformed to one of consideration and sympathy.
"What was it this time?"
You stomped your feet to the ground, feeling extremely annoyed as you huffed. "I was doing my job, like always and then these fuckheads just took over, finishing MY WORK and guess what, they got all the credit for the amazing work I did, I DID!" you exclaimed in frustration feeling like putting your fist through a wall.
"I can't stand it anymore, it's all the fucking time and I never get to do my work!"
Lewis hummed, pulling you into his chest to try to calm your shaking anger. "I get it, I do" he tried but it didn't calm your anger at all. "You are really good at what you do y/n, don't let these jackasses tell you otherwise"
"I know I am good at my work! It just pisses me off that they see me as less talented or less trust-able when I am darn much better than them"
Lewis chuckled, pulling you into his side as he started to lead you along the paddock, one arm resting over your shoulders. "Always so humble"
Your eyelids hooded as you grumbled at him "I am, I just know that I know best at my tasks" Lewis nodded, not saying anything as he saw a certain Frenchman approaching you.
"Ah how are you doing miss 'I know right'" Pierre joked, his smile immediately dropping as he received your murderer glare, Lewis having to bite his lip to not burst out laughing. "Not the right time mate"
"I hate that name and fuck you" you spat at the Frenchman, his smile slowly returning at your annoyed demeanor. "What, I love that name, It suits you so well you know, you always tell us we're stupid and that you know better"
He didn't budge, laughing as he gave you a kiss on the cheek "I'm only messing with you, why are you so tense? Hasn't Lewis helped you get rid of the tension today?"
"Pierre fuck off!"
You had to stop yourself from punching him in the face as he laughed at his own joke "That was one time and if you don't let it go I will kill you, mark my words" you threatened but he didn't seem very offended or scared.
"I will never let that go y/n, you can't expect me to ever do that, not when I walk into my high regarded friend fucking the seventh time world-champion"
You groaned out lod, chuckling out your annoyance in a whine "Lewis please get rid of him"
The seventh time world-champion didn't follow your request, instead he laughed and prompted you to sit down on one of the benches along the paddock "Just sit here and I will get you something to eat" he chuckled, kissing your temple before leaving you with Pierre.
"Okay okay, don't kill me now I was only joking with you but seriously, what's up?"
You sighed, meeting his soft look "I'm sorry for being mean I just had a horrible day at work"
"Ah, how unusual" he spoke sarcastically, shaking his head at you. "I don't understad why you are still at that place y/n, it's shitty"
You sighed with a groan "I knooow! But it is still my dream work just at the worst possible place"
"Then switch, I'm sure any team would want your talent!"
"I've tried Pierre but Horner dosen't approve of it"
His face was one of confusion as he opened his mouth but he didn't have time to speak until Charles interrupted him, sitting down on the bench with a wide smile "Ah y/n, how are you?"
"All fine" you sighed, Pierre looking at you with a chuckle "Bad day at work" he explained to Charles who hummed in understanding "Aha, of course"
"Explain to me what you said before" Pierre asked, your head face-planting into the wood with a whine
"He wants to keep me because of my education and references who tells me that I am the best qualified for the work and if he fired me or whatever he would get called out for being sexist, plus he loves the praise he gets because he has diversity but still I cant do my fucking job!"
Lewis came back with a tray of food looking scoldingly at Pierre for not having changed the subject yet.
"Apply to other jobs y/n, even if it is less salary it'd be worth it and you have the right to quit, regardless of what Horner says."
"I will I will" you sighed, pouting at Lewis who put the food down in front of you smiling as you looked up at him "thank you"
He chuckled, kissing your temple as he sat down next to you as you offered some of your food to Charles as Pierre was already taking parts of your fries.
Lewis looked at you as you devoured your food with a soft smile. You had known the Brit for years now having met him in your study years when you had been at the Mercedes hq for a tour with your class. He had already then admired your determination to punch your way to the top and he hadn’t been surprised when red bull had hired you. In his eyes you were a rare breed and he loved your confidence and fire that made it so clear and obvious for you to be where you wanted to be. He loved you in every way and he didn’t even try to hide it.
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It was already late, the day moved in faster than it should concidering all the paperwork you had left. Apparently that was the only thing you could do without any help. You were sat in one of the offices in the motor-home, finishing up for the evening.
"Why are you still here?"
You recognised the voice before looking at him, the big boss. You did your best to keep cool, shrugging your shoulders as you stood up. "I'm just finishing up"
Christian nodded, giving you a tight lipped smile as he watched you gather your stuff. "Do you have a minute? I need to talk to you shortly"
You huffed but answered politely "yeah sure”
"What have I done this time?" you sarcastically voiced as you took the seat he pointed you to.
"What is this y/n?" Horner asked with a pointed tone, one that made you annoyed without even knowing what it meant
"What?"
"This" he sighed, showing you his phone where a clear picture from a magazine showed you and Lewis on the bench, it was taken in the moment he kissed your temple after he'd gotten you food. It was a cute photo, both of you smiling at eachother.
"Uh, it's me?"
Horner sighed, annoyed over your bratty tone as you talked back. "Drop the tone y/n, i mean why are you hanging out with Lewis and more importantly why is he kissing you? It looks very bad on us if you are fraternizing with the drivers and especially with our enemy"
You sighed, looking at him monotony "He is my friend, what is wrong with that?"
"The wrong with that is that it looks like you are sleeping with him!"
His words took you aback "What? Just because I am with him you think that I'm sleeping with him?"
"It's what everybody thinks y/n! Stop hanging out with him or we will have a problem"
You shook your head "I won't say up our friendship just because your sexist brain"
"Y/n, watch your language"
"No you know what fuck you Horner, literally. I have come into this work with a better degree and better experience than any other of the people in my team, yet I can't do a single thing because nobody believes a woman can do shit in this team! Don't think I don't hear all the comments, and what about all the shit you say huh? Does those things include me, yeah of course they do because i'm only here because I want to fuck the drivers, sorry I forgot" you voiced sarcastically, letting all the pent up annoyance and frustration boil over as you stood up at the table, hating how he loomed over you when you sat down.
Christian didn't say anything as you took the few steps to the door. When your hand touched the handle you turned around with an sarcastic smile "Oh, I quit"
With that you left, slamming his door behind you as you stormed out of the motor-home with your computer under your arm.
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Lewis furrowed his eyebrows as you walked along the dark streets in the paddock. Most of the people had already gone home, the clock ticking long over nine so to see you there surprised him.
"Hey y/n!" he shouted after you making you stop and turn around to locate the one searching for you. Your stressed face relaxed as you saw the Brit, jogging to catch up with you. "Hey Lew" you smiled, kissing his cheek as he smiled brightly, walking with you towards the parking lot.
"What are you still doing here?" he asked curiously, watching your shoulders shrug and face twist. "Well, Christian called me in for a one to one meeting"
"Ah and how did that go?" he chuckled sensing your body language
"Shit" you grunted, his smile warming your body. "What did he want?"
"Well he called me out for hanging out with the drivers and dug up some picture of us, telling me it looked bad for him and the team if I was around a lot of drivers and especially if I was fraternizing with the enemy" you sarcastically tilled, faking his impression to Lewis amusement.
"So, I quit" you added not daring to look at his face, scared to be met with the expression that you had been wrong.
"You did!?" Lewis asked, looking at you with a bright smile "Yeah" you tilled timidly, finally daring to look him in the eyes.
"Why do you look so scared?" he chuckled, giving you a hug from the side. “Because I don’t know if what I did was stupid”
Lewis shook his head confidently “no it’s not stupid at all”
You shook your head, feeling anxiety rippling through your body “Lewis, I just quit my job, I don’t have anything else available right now and I just quit what may have been my only chance to the job I want and dreamt of my whole life”
Lewis sighed, stopping you from walking any further “y/n, you’re gonna have more chances to this kind of job and don’t worry about quitting. I know you have enough savings for months and if that has changed I will help you. All I know is that it’s the best thing you could've possibly done”
You blinked up at him timidly “you really think so?”
His smile warmed your body as he nodded “you always say you know best but I think this is the only time I can completely agree with you”
You let the smile crawl over your face as you giggled “I don’t always say that!”
Lewis laughed with you “you kinda do”
You smiled at him as you stopped in front of your car, unsure of what to do or say. Nobody could make you so nervous and insecure as Lewis could. Not because he said anything mean or did anything but because you wanted to impress him all the time. You didn’t want to show any insecurities but therefore you became a mess every time he looked at you with his angelic eyes. He could make you squirm with one look but that was also what you liked about him.
“Do you want to come with me?”
Your words were quite and didn’t sound as good as you wished but Lewis didn’t seem to mind as he smiles “sure”
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Lewis made sure you didn’t dwell on the work situation for the night. Helping you pack up the groceries you bought and making you loose your facade to order take-away. He talked you up and pulled some jokes, all to keep you away from the thoughts he knew you would drown in if you were alone
Your relationship with the man was very unclear. None of you really talked about it nor thought about it to much. It was what it was and it worked for the moment. Lewis loved you and everybody knew that. The seven time world-champion making it pretty obvious with the hearts eyes he always seemed to have whenever he looked at you. You loved Lewis too but you didn’t wanna label it. At least not for now. You had worked so hard to come into the business and you wanted to be secure and confident there before moving forward with him.
But you still spent more time with him than without him, spent almost every night wrapped up in his sheets but nothing was yet official and it didn’t have to be. Both of you content for the moment but you knew that soon enough you wanted some type of commitment and you knew he wanted it too, soon
“What do you think I should do?”
You popped the question that was etched in your mind. Having to air it for some kind of peace.
Lewis hummed in your ear. Your body laid on his. Head on his chest as you watched some lazy tv.
“I don’t know. What do you want to do?”
You groaned, tilting your head to look at him “no, what do you think I should do?”
“I think you should announce interest in other jobs and if you want to pursue your dreams and work in f1 you should go around and talk to the other stables. Look around and just announce your interest and soon enough you will get something and if not immediately you either take a break or you find something in between” he resonated lowly with a calm tone. Making you feel like there was no problem or drama.
“What if I never get another job like this” you mumbled in his neck. His hand caressing your back comfortingly.
“Then it was never meant to be. Would you rather stay there and never feel valued than find a job that makes you happy and make you feel valued?"
“I guess you’re right” you sighed into his soft skin.
He gazed down at you, softly tilting your face so you looked him in the eyes. “It’ll be okay, you will find a nice job that you love and I’m sure that you will find a work on the grid if that is what you want. You don’t have to worry, it will all sort itself out. Maybe not tomorrow but overtime and this truly was the best decision you could make. You deserve to go to work and enjoy it and be treated good”
“Thank you Lew” you smiled, softly pecking his lips. “No need to say thank you” he mumbled, slowly kissing you again. The kiss was slow but sweet and loving. His hand rubbed circles on your back and the other one still held your chin, keeping you in place as he kissed down your chin and over your neck.
His brown eyes asked the question he needed an answer to.
Your whole body felt electric, needing his touch needing to relax and get other thoughts in your head “Please” you whispered, leaning your head back on the couch to give him more space.
The pace was slow and soft. His kisses moving down your body before his determined tongue worked on your most sensitive spot. He did everything so annoyingly slowly but you still didn’t want to take control so you let him be. Let him tease you until you came over his amazing tongue.
His dick made you feel like you were outside of your own skin as he moved slowly inside of you, the position he had you in making your head spin.
It was all soft and slow. Not with the aim to fuck you fast and hard but with the aim to savour the moment and pamper you with love
And it made you fall even harder for the Brit.
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You felt like you were laying on a cloud. Your body relaxing and head slowly working down until you felt completely content.
Lewis had thrown you some clothes before climbing in bed with you, his arms cradling you to his chest as you talked with soft voices.
“How do you feel for the race?” You hummed into the skin of his chest. “Uh I don’t know” he admitted your head nodding in understanding. “Last weekend was really good but the question marks still stand and I don’t know what this season will turn out like and it makes me… I don’t know, fidgety, angsty? I want control but I don’t have that”
“Well. I think it’s gonna turn out fine. You did such good improvements last season and you are already ahead of that, I mean you got your first podium like last race and now it was the third or whatever so it’s not done yet”
Lewis hummed, pulling you into him more, nestling his face into your neck. “It will be easier if I have you”
You giggled at his cheesy comment, trading your fingers through his curls softly. “Why are you laughing at that?” He asked feigning hurt which made you laugh out loud. “Because it was so cheesy!”
“Can’t say a single thing can I?”
“You can!” You giggled “just not something so cheesy”
Lewis chuckled, kissing your temple “that’s just how I am”
You smiled at him, feeling completely overwhelmed with him and how the fuck you had met someone like him. But just like that the moment was over and interrupted with your schrill ringtone. Lewis groaned reaching for it and handed it to you with an unimpressed look.
“Y/n! I didn’t think you would answer”
You groaned out a chuckle at Pierre’s voice rolling around to look at the ceiling. “Hey! For what do I deserve that tone?” Pierre exclaimed, he was clearly not at home. The sounds in the background loud enough to drown out his voice if it wasn’t for his yelling
“Where are you?” You asked, sitting up in the bed and pulling the duvet up your chin. “I’m out with Lando and Charles, come here!”
“Nah not today Pierre” you chuckled, meeting Lewis curios look and flashing him a smile.
“Whaaat why not, you love partying with me don’t you”
“Of course I do but not today”
Pierre was quite for a second “hey why did you call?” You tried to nudge him “ah well I heard you quit!”
“Yeah I did” you hummed, laughing at his excited scream “yeeeaa finally! Hey Charles said they may be looking for someone at Ferrari so go ask tomorrow!”
“I will, thank you P, but hey if that was it can we talk tomorrow?”
“Ye yeah of course, where are you by the way?”
“Uh” you started but he catched up immediately “your at Lewis’s aren’t you!”
You grunted in annoyance “Hey Charles! Y/n is at Lewis’s!”
You groaned, throwing your head back “Pierre!”
“What! Y/n!” You heard Charles yell from beside his friend, your eyes rolling at their childish behaviour. They all knew about the ordeal after all.
“Okay okay we talk tomorrow bye idiots, call me if you need anything and be careful” you scolded
“Yeah yeah mom bye byeee”
You shook your head with a smile on your face as you looked at Lewis. “Well they just wanted to ruin the moment” you smiled, slowly sinking down next to him in the bed again. “Well they know how to do that very well”
You laughed, pecking his lips with a hum of agreement. “At least they are good at something”
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Nerves tickled through your body as you waited for the e-mail. It had been a week since you’d been at an interview for Ferrari. It was the exact same job as at red bull but hopefully a better team. You loved the vibe you got when you’d been in the interview. They had showed you around and introduced you to multiply people who worked there and to your happiness there were multiply women who would work close to you if they would give you the job.
“What time was it they said?”
Lewis voice broke the silence in the kitchen. He was cooking you dinner as you sat at the bar stools with your computer. Reloading the page over and over to see if any new mail had dropped in.
“They said the results would be out thirty, everybody who applied should get a email with either an invitation to the job or a no thank you” you explained for what felt like the hundredth time.
Lewis scoffed at your tone but the smile he held told you he wasn’t angry or upset with it. Knowing you were just so stressed to know.
“It’s gonna be fine, relax” he tried but you scoffed this time “no it will not”
“Even if this isn’t your job you will find another one, take a deep breath and relax”
It didn’t matter what he told you. This meant to much for you to be able to relax and he knew that as well he just didn’t want you to stress yourself up
“I’ve got an mail” you whispered as you saw the mail pop into your mailbox after you’d reloaded it yet again.
The man immediately dropped the spatula and hurried over to you. “We’ll open it” he chuckled at your grimace.
“What if-“
“No, open it and then we will take it step by step” he told you sternly, not wanting you to stress.
You did as he said with a sigh. Your heart beating fast as you read the message.
“I got it” you whispered out loud, not really believing it yourself yet. You read it again and again until Lewis scooped you up from the chair “see told you it would work out! I’m so happy for you”
The beam you held never faltered as you ate your delicious dinner and watched a movie with the man you more and more started to fall in love with.
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“I will never get tired of seeing you in red” Charles grinned as you walked through the paddock, your smile mirroring his
“I will”
The bitter mutter from your boyfriend made you chuckle, kissing his cheek to turn his frown upside down.
“Oh come on, what happened to always support and love”
“I do support you” he defended “but that doesn’t mean I have to love it”
“I think you do love u it” Pierre cut in, Lewis shaking his head at his words “it’s always hot with that type of rivalry”
You couldn’t help but laugh at Pierre’s words nodding along with his reasoning
“Not all wrong”
Lewis didn’t answer he just pulled you closer with an protective arm around your waist
“Don’t like it” he muttered in your ear
1K notes · View notes
putellasawfc · 5 months
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down again !
rachel daly x lioness!reader
( a/n : sorry i haven’t posted in sooo long omg !! honestly the holiday season drained me & since i’ve been so unmotivated to write :( & i’ve been dealing with stuff in my personal life, nothing serious just so hectic ! but i am slowly coming back. still have a mary earps request & arsenal x teen!reader request to work on and a few of you have asked for a pt2 to the wag in training instagram post i made. they will all be coming eventually ! )
-
you jogged beside rachel up and down the pitch, you and the others girls were warming yourselves up for the ninety minute game against belgium that was due to commence in twenty minutes from now, the fans had already begun to fill the seats of the stadium and you were eager to win this for them. you were excited for the match, a little nervous but mostly excited.
it had been awhile since you were in the starting line up after recovering from an ankle injury, you had been on the bench for all the recent games and you were more excited than ever to be able to play a full game again, though sarina had advised you to let her know if you felt as though you were pushing your ankle too much and she would take you off immediately, not wanting to risk you causing any further damage to it which could lead to anything permanent.
you felt a nudge against your hip, and turned to see your girlfriend of almost a year smiling at you knowingly. “you gonna score a banger for us today?”
you rolled your eyes playfully, knowing she was only half serious. “what do i get if i do?”
“umm..” she cocked her head to the side whilst she pretended to think, both of you turning on your heel once you reached the end of the pitch so you could run back up again. “a big fat kiss and a box of chocolates?”
“is that it?”
you gasped at the sudden shove you were given, stumbling over your two feet as rachel laughed and continued jogging.
“oi!” you called out, “you can’t do that, i’m fragile remember.” you caught up with her, shoving her in return though not with as much effort she had just given you.
“yeah, yeah.” she shrugged you off, “that’s not what you were saying last night.”
“rach!” you cried out, head whipping around to ensure nobody was nearby to hear what the blonde was insinuating.
she laughed at your reaction, and you almost wondered why you put up with her sometimes, but when you glanced in her direction and saw her already smiling back at you with that fond look in her eye, that look you only saw when she was staring back at you, you didn’t waste another second trying to guess.
“you’re such a pain sometimes.”
-
you made your way into the penalty box as one of the belgium girls grabbed the ball and made her way to the corner, the red and black kitted team earning themselves a corner after the ball had been kicked out by millie when number nine had gotten too close for comfort. you got in position, standing where you usually always stood which was just outside goal, as closest to mary than any of the other england players with a few girls from the other team pushing and grabbing their ways between you and your fellow lioness.
you sent the blonde a reassuring smile, confident that you would be able to stop the ball from touching the inside of the net with how well you had all been playing so far already.
the ball had been kicked and was now soaring through the air with some speed, you bounced on your feet as you waited to see where it looked more likely to land, your arm stuck out to prevent one of the belgium girls from knocking you out of the way and gaining an advantage on the ball.
the seconds went by in slow motion as the ball got closer and closer to where you stood, and you made the quick decision that you would try and header the goal out of play as it seemed like the best decision, you did not want to risk passing it to another member of the competition and have them get it past your or mary.
you jumped on your feet, leaning forward to connect your head with the leather material when out of nowhere, you felt a harsh push against your back and ribs that had your head flying into something else instead, something that had you crumbling to the floor only a second later with your head in your hands and a mind numbing pain spreading through your entire body.
the crowd exploded into a chorus of boo’s, and the whistle blew not even a second later, the loud sounds doing nothing to soften that pulsing agony in your head. you didn’t want to move, your whole body felt heavy and the thought of stretching even a single part of your body sounded like hell to you. you didn’t even react when you felt a gentle hand on your back, or another on your shoulder, or another on the top of your head where the hairband to your ponytail was positioned. the pain was so intense you were sure that if you weren’t so out of it you would be a sobbing mess right now.
you felt a body loom over yours, and some hair tickle your ear, “babe? can you hear me? are you alright?”
the northern accent that sounded from your girlfriend was heavily coated in an unusual sense of concern that you never really heard from the carefree blonde, but with you down on the floor, seemingly unresponsive the villa player was more scared than she had ever been.
“babe? can you please just say something? or move your hand? just wanna make sure you’re awake okay? please.” she sounded desperate at the end, and your heart clenched at the panic in her voice.
so with all the strength you could muster, which right now wasn’t a lot, you moved your hand until you managed to find her thigh, where you let it sit, feeling comforted by the skin on skin contact you had with your girlfriend. it wasn’t long before she grabbed that hand and squeezed it in her own, her slender fingers intertwining with your own as her thumb rubbed the back of you knuckles.
“you’re gonna be okay, yeah? the medics are here love, they’re gonna make sure you’re good.”
you mentally nodded at that, though didn’t make any move to physically show her you had acknowledged her words. you felt her press a quick peck to the back of your knuckles before she released your hold in hers and moved aside to let the medics in. you frowned at the loss of contact, but there wasn’t much you could do about it until you were at least able to verbally communicate with the people surrounding you.
the medics checking you out was a blur, just a lot of hands touching your face and neck, moving your head back and forth, the gasp from some of your teammates when they caught sight of the nasty gash on your temple that you hadn’t even realised was there until the alcohol wipes came out. a light was shone in your eyes briefly, before it was flickered off and the medic gestured to two other medics who were waiting offside.
a few seconds later a bright orange could be seen from your blurred vision, though you knew what it was straight away. there was no mistaking the stretcher you had seen being brought out more times than you had liked throughout your career, most of the time for other players but today it seemed as you were the lucky girl about to be carried off the pitch. you panicked a little, worrying how serious your injury was if the medics thought the stretcher was necessary.
your eyes sought out the presence of the only person who could calm you at this moment, flickering around wildly in a desperate attempt to find her but it was like she had all of a sudden vanished.
it was hemp who clicked onto who you were looking around for, the man city striker was stood at a distance, biting at her nails as she watched over you almost protectively, and seeing you so frantic in your attempts to place your girlfriend had her feeling even more sorry for you. she was quick to help out, looking around to find rachel, who to no surprise, was with millie just out of sight from you.
millie was holding the smaller girl back with a hand to her chest, as rachel yelled at the culprit who was the reason for your newfound concussion, the woman in question at least having the decency to look guilty. rachel’s face was flushed red with anger, and her hand was flying all over the place as she yelled. it was a good job millie was there, lauren thought to herself. though millie herself wasn’t looking at the belgium player too nicely either.
with the medics ready to lift you and get you on the stretcher, lauren didn’t waste anymore time and jogged over to the duo, placing a hand on rachel’s shoulder which halted her ranting as she looked to see who had approached.
“they’re carrying y/n off rach, i think she wants you with her.” hemp kept the explanation brief, knowing it would be enough to have rachel retreating and joining you.
and she was right, rachel didn’t even bother to look back at the belgium player again before she rushed off to where you were still laid on the floor, some of the other lionesses now wandering off to give the two of you (along with the medics) some much needed space. she fell down on her knees next to you, and you let out a breath you hadn’t even realised you’d been holding.
“come on pretty girl, let’s get you somewhere they can treat you properly yeah? need you all fixed up so we can have you with us again.” rachel did a good job at soothing your racing thoughts, her encouraging smile enough to ease the part of your brain that was coming up with all sorts of scary injuries you were convincing yourself you might have.
with your head still being in immense pain, you were still unable to nod in response, so instead you opted to send her a weak smile to let her know you were listening and appreciated her being there. she smiled back, moving to squeeze your hand in hers once again which added to the comfort you felt with her around.
“just gonna stand back whilst they get you up, okay? then i’ll be with you whilst they carry you off. ella’s gonna be with you whilst i’m still on the pitch but if sarina takes me off i’ll be finding you straight away, alright babe?” she explained, and you squeezed her hand in acknowledgement, feeling more at ease now you knew toone who was on the bench right now, would be with you whilst the medics checked you over inside.
rachel did as she said and temporarily let go of your hand so that she could step away and allow the medics to handle you properly, not wanting to get in their way and cause any issues whilst they dealt with you. a mixture of emotions weighed heavy on her heart.
she was angry at the player who decided to shove you head first into the goal post, just to stop you from getting rid of the ball that mary had caught anyways. no she was livid actually. but she was also upset for you, who had just gotten back on the pitch after waiting almost two months for your ankle to heal after your last incident on the pitch, now you’d be off again and for your sake she just hoped it wasn’t for longer than two weeks at most. and on top of all that she was worried, very worried about the state that you were in.
this wasn’t just a simple hit to the head that you could walk off, clearly. you were bleeding heavily and it was as if you weren’t even aware of where you were, or who you were with or what had just happened. she was just grateful you seemed to be able to understand what people were saying to you, that would’ve been too much for her to cope with she was sure.
millie comforted her whilst she waited for the medics to finish, and she was grateful for the support from her best friend who didn’t speak, only rubbed her shoulder comfortingly in the stressful seconds that passed. it had been six minutes now since the game had been halted because of your injury, and whilst the others girls ran to their managers and listened to advice and new game strategies, rachel refused to leave the pitch with you on it, especially with the state that you were in. if it weren’t for the cameras that were no doubt pointed at her right now, she was sure she’d be a mess until she found out for certain you were going to be okay.
she moved forward the second your body was lifted on the stretcher and squeezed inbetween two bodies so that she could grab ahold of your hand for the third time since you went down, using her spare hand to rub up and down your arm whilst she walked with you all the way off the pitch. the crowd watching erupted into applause as they always did when an injured player was carried off and rachel could only smile at the show of appreciation for you, her super girl who would’ve no doubt been tearing up at the love you were receiving if you were really aware of it.
when you reached the end of the pitch, she quickly leaned down and as gently as she could placed a quick kiss to your cheek, giving you once saddened glance before she moved back. “love you baby, i promise i’ll come see you as soon as i can.”
the only thing keeping rachel relaxed at the moment was knowing that ella would be with you on the other side, one of your best friends on the squad who she knew would look after you in replace of her. she waited until you were out of sight before she turned to make her way back to the pitch, making eye contact with the belgium player who had been sent off with a red card for deliberately pushing you into the goal post, and she was tempted to approach the dark haired woman and do something she’d probably regret in the morning. but before she even had a chance to take a step in that direction, sarina appeared in her line of sight and sent her a look, a look that said ‘you know you don’t really want to’.
and despite the vision of you laying on the floor, body crumpled and unmoving so clear in her mind, she knew sarina was right. so reluctantly, she steered her body in the opposite direction and jogged back to her original position as she waited for the game to recommence.
-
four hours had passed and you were now laid in bed in your hotel room, the one you shared with rachel as you always did when you were at camp, with the blonde fretting over your every need.
the doctors you had seen had confirmed you had a hefty concussion, and would be out of any form of football based activities for the next two weeks, which was a bummer but you were just glad it wasn’t too long, hopefully two weeks would pass by in a flash.
unfortunately, they had given rachel a list of symptoms to look out for incase your condition worsened and now the poor woman hadn’t relaxed since she’d gotten back, constantly checking up on you and watching over you like a hawk so she could catch any slight change in your current state so she could alert them immediately.
“rach, babe, come sit please. can’t relax with you pacing around like you are.” you stressed, patting the empty space beside you. “i am fine. i promise i will let you know if anything changes.”
she tutted at that but approached the bed as you had asked her to. “will you though? i know what you’re like. wont wanna say anything because you won’t want me to panic.”
“i think it’s too late for me to be worrying about making you panic.” you teased, and she glared in response.
“well i’m glad you can make jokes right now. i don’t think you understand how scared i actually was when i saw you down like that.”
your heart clenched at the sight of rachel with her head down whilst she fiddled with her fingers, and suddenly you felt bad for making jokes when she was so obviously still upset about the whole situation.
“hey, look at me rach.” you reached out and placed your hand on top of hers that were together on her lap. “i am okay, the doctors know what they’re doing and they said i’m fine, yeah? i promise you, cross my heart and hope to die, that i will tell you if i start feeling worse, okay? as soon as.”
she stared back at you for a second, her eyes wandering from yours to the bandage that had been wrapped around your head after your injury had been cleaned, before she let out a sigh and nodded, her tense body finally relaxing for the first time since the game which you took as a small win.
“think you need to start playing in bubble wrap from now on. first your ankle, now your head, what’s next?”
you were relieved to hear your girlfriend joke around with you once again, albeit her tone lacked the usual cheekiness that it usually held when she was messing around with you, obviously still not completely at ease with everything but she was showing signs of getting there.
“think sarina will add it to the next training kit for me? i’ll even offer to put some money towards it.” you smiled, hand moving to cup rachel’s cheek whilst you watched her eyes light up in amusement.
“yeah i’m sure she’ll be proper up for it, especially if it means actually having you on the pitch for more than a game at a time.” she retaliated with a laugh at the end and you playfully rolled your eyes at her light hearted comment.
“i made it almost sixty minutes, better than what i’ve been getting lately, i’ll take what i can get.” you shrugged, and now it was her turn to roll her eyes.
“love you silly girl, even when you’re so accident prone.” she leaned forward and pecked your lips, which you melted into happily.
“in my defence, what happened today wasn’t an accident! i’m a victim.” you told her, which earned you a shove back against the headboard.
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is-the-fire-real · 3 months
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Whither the pro-Pals a year from now?
I feel that "fandom as politics" most adequately covers the behavior of pro-Palestinians on Tumblr, and being an Old Hand At Fandom, this gives me some impressions on what the future holds. I know this is a matter of great concern for those of us on Tumblr who are their favorite targets.
My estimates are not scientific, and are based on experience in seeing the rise and fall of many fandoms. I am not psychic and make no guarantees.
The Old Guard: The smallest contingent of pro-Palestinian activists will be permanently, irrevocably radicalized by propaganda, and they will not go back. Truthfully, there is nowhere for them to go. They have burned all of their online goodwill invested in this fandom, and as the rest fall away, they will rage at their own allies, burning those bridges as well. These people are just as hateful and insufferable IRL as they are online, so they will know nobody who isn't also pro-Pal. They will remain behind in the fandom. When it later repopularizes as Tumblr rediscovers the fandom due to future content being released in the form of another war, the Old Guard will snark and brag about how they carried the torch while everybody else abandoned the fandom of The Great Cause. The Old Guard will constitute the BNFs of the pro-Pal fandom and their closest friends, at most 10% of the current fandom.
The Fond Recollectors: A lack of new, shiny, emotionally-evocative content for the pro-Pal fandom will drop it, the same as how many fandom members abandon a fandom once it is cancelled or after endless delays for new material. These folks will not think of their time in the pro-Pal fandom as wasted. They will look back on this time of trauma, war, and upheaval as one of the most exhilarating and joyful times of their lives. They will generally act as though they weren't part of the fandom, but when they find people who used to be in the fandom, it will be like finding somebody who shares a fandom you used to adore. They will whisper, with smirking conspiratorialism, of how one time they got a Jewish--uh, Zionist--person to deactivate their Tumblr account. They will confess among one another how many times they sent "kys" messages to Zionists, and giggle. It will be like ex-Johnlockers lol'ing among themselves about having stalked the actors IRL. If the fandom gets new content in the form of a war, then the Fond Recollectors will rejoin with glee. They will accept the Old Guard's hostility ("Where were you all this time?") as their just punishment. Otherwise, Fond Recollectors will be mid-grade antisemitic in whatever new political or media fandoms they join. They will constitute roughly 30% of the current pro-Pal fandom, and will mostly be composed of folks who post extremely prolifically but are not currently BNFs.
The Shamefaced Ex-Fans: Whether we like it or not, most folks get caught up in a fandom cycle due to hype from friends and socmed pressure. This creates a peak of interest which is followed by burnout. A person in this category engaged constantly and thoughtlessly with pro-Palestinian fandom content for hours every day, yet never engaged with purpose or by creating transformative works. Once the fandom fails to produce enough new content, they will look around, dazed, and wonder what the hell they even liked about it in the first place. Now out of the hype cycle, Ex-Fans will be able to look more critically at their behavior. They will not recognize their Jew-hate, but they will recognize the silliness of a lot of their behavior. "Gosh, I can't believe I thought reblogging on Tumblr would end a war" will take the place of phrases like "... would make that ship become canon" in their lexicon. They will look back at this time with embarrassment; again, not because they understand the harm they have done, but because they understand it's "cringe" to care about stuff that's not pluperfect and doesn't achieve the stated goal. They will be the least apparently-antisemitic and the most likely to make friends with Jewish people online, because they will change their names and will not admit what they were doing during the Hamas/Israel war. If the pro-Pal fandom gets new content in the future--again, in the form of a new war--the Ex-Fans will primarily fall silent. They will be overwhelmed by shame (not guilt, and not responsibility). They will not rejoin unless dragged into it, but they will not speak out to support Jewish people. They will constitute roughly 60% of the current fandom.
These are bleak estimates, because a newly revitalized pro-Pal fandom will not need the Shamefaced Ex-Fans. The core of the fandom, the Old Guard and the Fond Recollectors, will do what all passionate cores of fandoms do in these situations: recruit. And while most of these recruits are destined to become Ex-Fans in the far future, many will join the other two categories, being partially or permanently radicalized into a movement of antisemitism.
In a sense, what we are seeing is what Tumblr would have been like if Moffat had said "Johnlock will never be canon, and it's all because of the Jews".
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what-even-is-thiss · 22 days
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Hi roman. I know this is very weird, but i've seen you give some life advice to other people, so i thought i could give it a try too. Don't answer if you don't want to. Anyway
Do you have any advice/tips for a 15 y/o who thinks they just have no control over their life? Like, my concentration is dog shit, i think my grades are slipping. My executive dysfunction so bad and i think i'm disappointing a lot of people. I have no idea how to handle anything in my life. I can't force myself to do the things i need to (not that that'd be any good, i'll immediately cry lol). I just, don't fucking know how i could make things better for myself. And i can't really talk to adults about it, they'll repeat the stuff i already know, and i am the worst person to put their feelings into words, so they'll prob never understand. Not in the edgy way.
Yeah so sorry for half venting into your ask box. Thank you in advance if you'll answer it, if it's too weird and you don't want to do that for whatever reason, that's ok. Peace and love <3
Dude, you’re unfortunately suffering from being 15. And possibly a learning disorder. Godspeed to you.
And I don’t say that to belittle your problems. In many ways as a teenager you don’t have control over a lot of things. You’re still under the control of your parents, you’re still learning how to deal with adult level emotions and ideas. A lot is expected of you and a lot of things are made to seem more important than they are. It’s hard to tell what’s actually important and what’s just adults blowing things out of proportion. It sucks and it’s frustrating!
If you can, you might want to talk to a counselor. If your parents or guardians are anti-counseling you might try to talk to someone at your school like a teacher or administrator or school nurse about the possibility of getting counseling without your parents knowing. Some schools have programs like that.
The adults closest to you might not understand but if you keep looking you’ll eventually find someone who remembers what it’s like to be in your shoes.
And I remember fully feeling like I’d never get control over anything. The end goal of life was graduation from high school and god only knows if I keep existing after that. But the thing is, you do! You keep existing and you figure a lot of stuff out. Wisdom does come with time, it turns out. And legally and practically you end up getting a lot more autonomy as time goes on.
And I know hearing things like this might not feel comforting. When you’re stuck, you’re stuck and no matter how much you logically know it’ll get better right now it sucks.
Just find ways to keep going. And try asking for help sometimes. If your family won’t listen, find someone who will. Take the time to write down your problems and how you feel if you can’t come up with explanations of what’s going on. Or find a friend to talk it out with so you can practice explaining yourself.
If there’s one thing I can promise you, when you’re a couple years into adulthood all of the problems from your teenage years start to feel small. At the time they were big and important though. And that’s what you’re going through right now. And a lot of adults forget about that. Hang in there, and when all of this is behind you, remember how hard it was and maybe someday you can help someone like you.
I’m sorry if all that wasn’t helpful. I don’t know too much about your individual situation. But ask for help when you can. Someone out there understands. You’ll find them.
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armysantiny · 5 months
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Perfect Little Pet – KHJ
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P: Hongjoong x afab gender neutral reader | G: smut, oneshot | Inc: cruella!au, cruella!hongjoong, assistant!reader, 'Captain', 'pet', Felix mention, journalist!Wooyoung, Yunho mention, Wooyoung/Yunho mention, set in the UK, Trafalgar Square, flaring tempers i.e. Hongjoong's, fashion studio, cruella movie-esque fashion show, Hongjoong occasionally abusing his power, wet dreams, fwb ending, a lot of British references and general mannerisms, two smut scenes | Wc: 5.9k
W: d/s tones, 'Captain' used during sex, bent over the desk, dom!Joong, sub!reader, overstim, begging, wet dreams, blowjob, cumshot on face, backshot during sex, one/two uses of the word slut, 'pet' used during sex (please let me know if I've forgotten anything, I'm writing this post up at 1 am)| R: 18+ mdni
Summary: Captain. Anyone who’s anyone knows who that is; none other but the rising name in fashion and making a name for himself for his eye-catching and punk-inspired shows. And right there in the back, is obedient little y/n, the childhood friend. The assistant to the Captain and one of the few to know Hongjoong for who he is behind the scenes, uptight and frantic and so achingly desperate to be perfect. Good thing they’re the Captain’s perfect little pet.
Min's notes: We're starting the year off strong! And you may have figured it out already, but @hee0soo, I'm your secret santa! I had so so so much fun writing this, you have no idea. When I tell you I was giggling like an idiot when you answered my question in the server, it was perfect. I hope you like reading this! And this happens to be my longest fic <33 also, 'on the dole' = on benefits hehe
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There’s graphite on his hands, smudged all over the sketchbook, and Hongjoong takes another look at the plain mannequin standing by its lonesome in his office. Something’s missing, he knows it. Is it the hem? The length of the sleeves? Whatever it is, Hongjoong can’t bloody tell and it’s driving him up the wall. The designer groans, dissatisfied with own progress and discards the sketchbook on his desk. He gets up with just as much frustration, boots stomping across the floor in the direction of the balcony. His production facility looms below him, hard at work.
Almost taunting him.
“Just one more…” he mutters, taking a reluctant step back into his seat, “one more of the bloody things and I’ll be ready for runway…” Sure, it is self-imposed encouragement, but it is encouragement. Hongjoong isn’t a beggar. He’ll take what he can get. And take, of course. Until his pencil simply drags along the paper with no real goal and he snaps the dastardly thing between his sleek fingers, throwing its remains against the closest wall. It clatters to the floor just as the frustrated designer storms towards the door to his office, opening it and unleashing a powerful tension upon the production floor.
“Bring y/n up here!”
Y/n shivers from where they stand, helping move a box of supplies into the stock room. No matter how long they’ve stood by Hongjoong’s side, there is nothing that will help them get used to the sound of him barking out a command like that. A frustrated Hongjoong is a live wire – temperamental, snappy, and not someone to be approached without caution. They freeze with the box for just a moment before it’s taken out of their hands by one of the new starters.
“Captain sounds pretty miffed,” they say, pulling on the sleeve of their hoodie, “go on, I’ve got this!”
“If you’re sure…”
“Course I am luv, go on already~” And y/n is all but gently shoved out of the stock room, left to face their employer. And childhood friend.
All eyes are on y/n as they walk through the building towards those ever-familiar stairs, trying to ignore the weight of everyone’s gaze. It’s just Hongjoong, our Joongie, there’s nothing to be anxious over, their mind repeats, heels clicking along the wooden panelling amongst the unusual human silence. Seconds go by excruciatingly slowly, and finally, y/n stands in front of Hongjoong’s office. One steadying breath, and then another.
The door opens before they have a chance to knock, Hongjoong all but yanking his assistant inside and locking the door behind them both. There’s an impatient energy in the room, furthered even more by the fact y/n watches their friend pull them along to the mannequin and frantically go about putting his prized mannequin back by the window where it overlooks the production floor.
“Lean against the wall for me, will ya?” Hongjoong asks, reaching for his sketchbook once again, certain he’s found a muse in y/n. They have this gait around them that would work just so well with his new line, it would be criminal if he doesn’t capture it on paper at least once. Well, perhaps a few times, because the creativity comes back with a vengeance. His pencil glides along the cartridge paper with ease, framing y/’s silhouette perfectly and a grin erupts on his face.
Finally. Finally, he can make a start on creating the showstopper piece.
Time is but an illusion as Hongjoong works on his piece, occasionally looking up to really solidify the vision he’s got in mind. Y/n’s holding themselves just the way he needs them to, providing just the right amount of feedback and silence he needs, and Hongjoong might as well be inside a creative paradise of his own making. He’s found the right formula. He’s found his new muse, perfectly shaped in the image of y/n, his little assistant. The outfit seems to come together all on its own as he draws, each stroke of the pencil working in tandem with each other to create a look he knows will absolutely shock the viewing public in Trafalgar Square.
It’s around an hour later when the design is finally complete, Hongjoong’s mind at ease as he does one last look over everything. He’s done it. The look is perfect. There is just one thing…
He’s rather hungry now.
“Right,” he starts, setting his sketchbook down, “that’s us done here y/n, thanks again pet~”
“O-oh, it’s no prob—”
“But do get us a spot of lunch, would you? I’ve been dying to try out that new brunch café. I want either a chicken alfredo or a chicken Caesar salad, understood?” He tosses y/n his wallet as they begin to leave, turning on his heel and collapsing into his office chair with a yawn.
“Your regular coffee too, Captain?” Y/n asks. Oh, what a darling they are.
“You know me too well~ of course I want my coffee. I want them both here by the half hour.”
“Yes, Captain.”
Checking the time as they leave the café, y/n breathes a sigh of relief: they’ve got at least another fifteen minutes to make it back to the factory if they can get to Hongjoong’s favourite coffee spot before the lunchtime rush, otherwise they’ll be late. So, they make a break for it, taking extra care to leave their Captain’s lunch flat in their bag lest they have alfredo decorate the inside of the gifted Nevada Leather Weekender slung over their shoulder. The coffee spot itself is only a few metres away, less than a few minutes to run, but every second counts in the world of the Captain.
Lady Fate is on their side it seems, because there absolutely no sign of a queue, or even the beginnings of one, when y/n makes it to the coffee shop. Aurora, a quaint little place y/n remembers Hongjoong spending almost every free minute in before they watched their friend shoot to success, when they were still just two friends with a dream. Their running slows to a brisk walk as they enter, greeting the barista with a smile and getting a card ready as soon as they confirm they’re after the usual iced latte with two extra shots of espresso and a shot of vanilla. Once payment goes through and the coffee is in their hands, y/n is out of there in a heartbeat, eager to make it back in time.
“Look at you~ exactly two minutes early,” Hongjoong muses as he sees y/n walk into his office. He pockets his stopwatch, hangs his custom-made coat on the coatrack and takes his coffee. “If there’s anyone I trust to make coffee the way I like it, it’s that pretty one with the deep voice. Face of an angel, but, God, that voice?”
 Oh. His lunch is on the desk, but y/n is still here.
Strange.
“Well, are you waiting for me to say something? Run along now, pet, go… oh, I don’t know, busy yourself until I need you.” He chuckles, shooing them away and waving with his fingers once y/n is finally out of the door and Hongjoong can eat his lunch in private, just the way he likes.
Y/n’s bag slides down their arm and onto the floor of their studio flat as they step inside, well-earned exhaustion lacing their bones and pulling a yawn out of their mouth as they fall onto their sofa. They’re used to running all over London for Hongjoong, sure – hell, their daily step count always passes ten thousand – but it’s the weeks leading up to one of his planned fashion event-hijackings that y/n truly feels the burn. Where they truly feel pushed to their tether.
 But it’s always worth it in the end, they remind themselves in between making themselves a cup of tea, watching the kettle boil. Together, they will achieve worldwide success, their brand – Silver Light – will be in every boutique and everyone will know who the Captain is. Y/n spoons a teaspoon of sugar into the mug, pops in the teabag and pours the boiling water and milk, huffing at the connection their mind puts together.
They’re the teaspoon of sugar. Not the main event, no, but an addition to make things sweeter. To make Hongjoong’s plans sweeter.
“New sources and evidence have since come to light regarding the hijacking of Oxford Circus last week. The impromptu fashion show was caused by the organisation called Silver Light, headed by someone calling themselves the ‘Captain’, who witnesses say was armed with a cane, yet no one has been harmed. Following an insider comment…”
The rest of the news story plays on tv, y/n’s interest piqued when they recognise the journalist behind it all. One of Hongjoong’s newer friends, a trusted insider working for the BBC that y/n’s met a good few times. They grab their phone from its charger, unplugging it and dialling the number they’re looking for. It’s a few seconds before they hear the call pick up on the other end of the line.
“Can it be~?” Wooyoung’s voice sings through the phone, “the Captain’s assistant is calling little ol’ me~?”
“Good evening to you too, Wooyoung.” Y/n laughs, ever fond of the charming journalist. “I’m watching your news report tonight, my… you know just how to create the right kind of excitement. A master with words, one would say. Just how do you it~?”
“Y/n, darling,” y/n can almost see the playful rolling of the journalist’s eyes, “you’re flattering me, you know? But flattery gets you everywhere with me, so thank you ever so much.”
The conversation goes on for another half hour, y/n giving Wooyoung all the subtle information he needs to create the next buzz around Silver Light’s next big show. There needs to be a sizable crowd for Trafalgar next week, and Wooyoung is just the right person to weave his words and create that buzz y/n knows Hongjoong is looking for. All manner of press and paparazzi should be there; Silver Light needs to be on the front cover of every broadsheet and tabloid in England.
And when they switch to video call so Wooyoung can jot everything down, y/n chooses to ignore the knowing glance sent their way. They’ve had this conversation before, plenty of times even – concern that all of y/n’s efforts aren’t their own will, that Hongjoong’s somehow forcing them to be his assistant. That couldn’t be further from the truth.
They make themselves another cup of tea, and sigh when Wooyoung still refuses to back down.
“Woo, I know that look,” they sigh, already knowing what comes next. The concern, the lecturing. The you’re being his servant, y/n, you deserve more than that. “This isn’t something Hongjoong is making me do, I really do want Silver Light to succeed. This is my dream too, even if it doesn't look like I want it as much as he does, or it looks like he’s forcing me.”
“Y/n…”
“Have a little faith in me, hm?” They bargain. “I’ll be fine, I promise.”
“If you say so—” Wooyoung’s gaze snaps to something above the camera, “oh, Yunho’s home, he brought food! See you soon y/n~”
“See you soon, say hi to Yunho for me.”
The call ends, and y/n is left with their thoughts, a hot cup of tea, and a muted news channel playing on their tv. Rather than let themselves succumb to the impeding thoughts on the horizon, y/n sips on their tea, unmutes their tv and scrolls through BBC iPlayer until they find the most recent unwatched episode of MasterChef and hits play. The thought manages to persist, though.
Are they just Hongjoong’s errand runner? A simple cog in the machine that Hongjoong pays just that bit more attention to than the others?
Hongjoong’s footsteps echo along the floor as he walks through the production floor, inspecting every station as he passes them by. The Trafalgar show is but days away and he cannot afford a single error whatsoever. He’s counting on this one to be a success; Wooyoung’s articles have created the right kind of stir he needs, y/n’s been busting their ass helping him with the finer details, the last thing Hongjoong needs is his plan falling apart.
So why the fuck can he see someone stitching a button incorrectly?
“You!” He barks, storming over to the unsuspecting employee, fury lining his brows. It stuns the rest of the room into silence, terror in their eyes as they watch. “Are you trying to ruin this week’s show?! Just what the bloody hell do you think you’re doing?!”
They shiver, the poor thing, watching as Hongjoong furiously inspects the garment for any more errors. It’s a simple mistake really, a small oversight but they know better. Everyone at Silver Light knows better:
Captain doesn’t give second chances.
But then Hongjoong smiles. Not a genuine one by any means, no, but something that’s a little too sweet.
“What’s your name, darling?”
“M-my name is Felix, Captain—” whatever Felix tries to say is cut off by a heart-attack inducing bang, Hongjoong’s cane slamming down on their workstation in the blink of an eye. The shock sends Felix tumbling, and they prick their thumb on a fashion pin, droplets of blood staining the floor where they stand.
“Oh, just get out!”
“Captain, wait! P-please!”
“You’re fired, get out!”
A pin-drop silence echoes through the building, Hongjoong’s frustration palpable to everyone watching. The workstation is unmanned now, no one remaining to take the task, yet the buttons still need to be taken out and resewn on. Properly, this time. Exhaling, Hongjoong slips his cap off in favour of brushing his hand through his hair, the black and white split-dye messing up and framing his face.
What he needs right now, is y/n to make his problem go away. To be his reliable ally and fix the problem in his way.
He pats his coat down, looking for his phone and almost wants to cry out in relief when he finds the infernal device in his back pocket. A deep breath slips past his lips, and he calls y/n.
And like the angel they are, y/n picks up.
“…Joong?” They rasp out, clearly still tired. “It’s my day off, is everything alright over there?”
No, everything is not alright, Hongjoong wants to rant, the stress itching away at under his skin.
“I really, really wish it was, pet. How fast can you get here?” He asks, praying that the rustling he hears from the other end is y/n changing into their usual work outfit.
“Y/n? Pet?”
“Still here!” They call out, and Hongjoong has half the mind to kiss them when they arrive. “Just checked the traffic, I can make it in twenty?”
“Make it fifteen and I’ll get you that pretty gem of a car you’ve had your eye on.” Hongjoong offers, huffing out a laugh when y/n readily agrees, and the line goes dead seconds later. They’re on their way to Silver Light, and all his problems will be solved. For whom else can Kim Hongjoong rely on other than his y/n?
The clock ticks by agonisingly slowly, teasing Captain with every second that y/n is still on their way. Sure, he can fix this specific coat that Felix so wonderfully fucked up, but there’s a whole line of these that need to be done, and the designer is only human. He can’t do this alone. But he can relax because as soon as Captain resigns himself to hand-stitching every coat, y/n comes in through the door, hurrying over to the workstation and shoo-ing Captain away.
“And you fired him?! Over a button?!” Y/n asks, completely baffled as they listen to Hongjoong rant while they’re stitching the buttons properly. “You really have lost your marbles, Kim Hongjoong.”
“But you still came to my aid! Y/n, you know I couldn’t do all of this without you~” They deadpan, scoffing with smile they can’t control when Hongjoong latches himself onto their back in gratitude. “You’ll be able to handle doing the rest of the coat buttons, right?
Y/n rolls their eyes. They can handle it.
“Bring Felix back, and I’ll stay until the end of the day,” they bargain.
“Deal!”
Y/n doesn’t regret offering to help Hongjoong, really, they don’t, but they have a day off in the middle of the week for a reason. Exhaustion nips away them as they finish the last of the coat buttons, hanging the last one on the rack and patting the sleep out of their face as best they can. Felix is back inside, replacing y/n at his workstation with a meek smile and y/n doesn’t know whether to be happy the young man is back or give the split-dyed designer running the entire outfit a piece of their mind—
And Hongjoong’s calling them into his office.
There’s a corkboard standing when they enter, Hongjoong pinning post-its with various last-minute details. It’s chaotic — more so than usual. Y/n takes a few steps towards the board, reading Hongjoong’s ideas and avoiding the eccentric designer running circles around them.
“Why the last-second rush around?” They ask, still obediently helping Hongjoong sort out his mismatch of written thoughts. “I thought we figured all the details? You’re going to smash the event, Joong, I know what you’re capable of.”
“Awe, thanks y/n~” Hongjoong pats their shoulder. “Your unwavering faith in me is awe inspiring~”
“Oh, shut up,” y/n laughs, then yawns. Bloody hell, they’re tired. “I know I said I was going to stay for the rest of the day, but I’m asleep on my feet here... I can come in tomorrow?” It’s a risky bargain trying to convince Hongjoong like this, but it’s worth a try.
“Y/n, pet... You’re just fine, just sit in here for a bit,” and there goes their chance at rest as Hongjoong admonishes them. “And I need that brilliant mind of yours for later; can’t have you sitting at home, now can we~?”
 No, no he can’t apparently. So, y/n stays, because of course they do.
But now it’s a day before the big hijack, at the god-awful time of one in the morning and Hongjoong is still deliberating over what to wear for the event, lovingly dubbed Project Trafalgar by his darling y/n. Y/n, who answered his messages only half an hour before and watches Hongjoong run around from their spot on his bed, legs crossed and looking oh so cute.
So easily corruptible. But he stores that thought away.
Hongjoong holds up one of his favourite blazers for y/n, a navy cropped piece he’s admittedly worn far too many times. It’s supposed to go with the rest of his outfit that’s already spent a good few hours working on, one that’s going to blow people’s minds away when he reveals himself once Project Trafalgar finishes successfully. Y/n tilts their head, examining the clothing and giving a sleepy thumbs up, nodding their head as they approve of his choices.
“You know~” Hongjoong sings as he goes to hang the blazer up in preparation for tomorrow. “Sometimes I think you’re the true genius behind our success, you always know just how to make everything look absolutely perfect.”
Y/n laughs, and Hongjoong wants to hear more of it.
“Is that Kim Hongjoong appreciating me I hear?” They tease, and Hongjoong gets to hear more of that endearing laugh when he mock-glares in their direction. “I’m just taking the mick, relax. I appreciate what you said, this is important to me. Silver Light and yourself.”
“You’re important me to me too, pet.” And it’s true.
His outfit hung up and decided, Hongjoong finally starts to feel the pull of exhaustion himself. Y/n really wasn’t lying when they said the designer was going to crash from his adrenaline high. He stretches, lithe and cat-like, and disappears into his ensuite to change into something a bit more… suitable for sleeping after an all-nighter putting together his outfit. His cleanser and other nighttime hygiene products are on the shelf above the sink, and Hongjoong figures that he might as well get started removing the stress of the day from his face.
“Y/n, darling,” he starts, “do you think that—”
Hongjoong stops talking when he gets no answering noise in return, and he pokes his head out of his bathroom. Y/n is asleep. He chuckles; of course, y/n is asleep because unlike himself, y/n actually has a normal sleep schedule.
So, he forgoes the question was going to ask them in favour of heading to his bed, lifting’s y/n’s head and resting it on his lap after he sits down. Their hair is soft, he finds, loosely getting his fingers tangled as he finds a strange comfort in the moment he's found himself in. The silence doesn’t help either; letting Hongjoong’s mind spill out words of gratitude he knows his pride would never let him say. It’s better that way, anyway.
But Captain isn’t entirely devoid of basic human empathy.
“Get some rest, pet,” he mutters, “you earned it, my busy little assistant.”
Hongjoong shivers, his head thrown back on the sofa of his flat as he watches y/n through near-shut eyes. They’ve got the head of his cock in their mouth, swirling their tongue around the tip and good lord does Hongjoong want to just buck his hips into y/n’s warm, pretty mouth and—
Not yet. Not if he wants to stretch this out and enjoy it just that little bit longer.
But apparently, he isn’t the only impatient one in the room because y/n wastes no time in getting more of his length inside their mouth, hand wrapping around the remainder. Cold hands and a warm mouth are a killer combination, and Hongjoong shivers with a groan, bucking his hips forward and enjoying the sound of y/n’s muffled surprise.
“Don’t you start acting like that, pet,” he says, reaching down to grab their hair. He gives a few testing thrusts and fuck does he want more. “You’re just as eager as I am, you and I both bloody well know that.”
A rhythm develops, one that has sinful noises bouncing around Hongjoong’s flat and a coil of heat building in his abdomen, his orgasm drawing closer by the minute. Y/n’s moans send vibrations up his cock, and it’s really not all that fair. Not when he’s trying so hard not to just shoot his load down y/n’s pretty throat.
But fuck if y/n isn’t trying to suck his soul out, their criminally talented tongue making his cock twitch. Higher and higher his voice climbs, until his hips are twitching, breaking his rhythm and Hongjoong wraps his legs around y/n’s back, gently forcing them to look him in the eye.
“Where do you want it, pet?” He’s met with y/n’s questioning blink before they tap their face and their chest. “Fucking tease, want me to paint you in my cum? That right, baby?”
They nod, pulling themselves of Hongjoong and yanking off their top in record time. His cock is in their mouth again, twitching as the coil builds and builds, until Hongjoong pulls out, pulling y/n’s face back and coming with a shout of their name.
“Fuck, darling...that was—"
Y/n’s startled awake when Hongjoong shoots up out of bed, watching through tired eyes as the frazzled man looks around the bedroom. They do the same, deciding under the cloud of sleep to not question how and why they ended up in the same bed, but whatever time it is, is no humane time to be awake. So, y/n pads around for their phone, checks the time, and groans.
It’s three in the morning.
“Joong...everything okay?” They ask, shrugging the cover over their face, eager to return to sleep.
“Hm? Oh— yes, yes... everything’s fine, just have Trafalgar on my mind.” Of course, he does. They roll their eyes, an affectionate chuckle and reach over to yank him back down, filing away the sound of Hongjoong’s squeak in the depths of their mind.
“Go back to sleep, love…it’s too early for you to fret.” Y/n says, the comfort of their words wrapped in the inviting warmth of sleep. They fall back asleep just as well, quickly enough that they miss the tint on Hongjoong’s face and his mumbled agreement.
There is all but one precious hour until Project Trafalgar is underway, and Captain has been fidgeting with his hands for the last half of it. He goes through every step of the process once, twice and he’s about to go through it a third time when Captain feels a hand on his shoulder. It’s y/n, and he takes a few deep breaths as per their instructions as his mind hits the breaks on his fretting.
“Captain, you’re doing it again.” They admonish. He blinks; he’s doing what? “Bloody hell, you’re the greatest fashion visionary in British history, this will go perfectly. Ok?”
“Ok.” Captain nods, maintaining eye contact. Reliable little y/n, always by his side. He keeps up with the eye contact, looking into the eyes watching him with so much confidence and unbridled trust that he can feel the confidence resurface under his own skin.
And then y/n leans forward to peck his lips, and his heart does a thing.
“Go on, show them all who Silver Light’s captain is.” Y/n chuckles.
“Are you saying they forgot, pet?” Hongjoong counters, the need to fret over last minute details gone entirely. “Tonight, will be unforgettable, I can promise you that much pet. Make sure you’re watching, hm?”
And watch, y/n does, as they stay hidden away from the obvious police presence Silver Light seems to attract and watch as Captain’s show begins. The music is loud, attention-grabbing and y/n feels excitement light up every nerve in their body. Months. Months and months of sweat, blood and tears has gone into every moment, and they watch the models come into view, each wearing an individual piece from Captain’s new line. It’s gorgeous. Utterly stunning, and y/n can’t help but snap a few pictures and record a quick video.
They’re going to need material to send to Wooyoung, after all.
The next half of the models make their appearance, and y/n very much joins the crowd’s cheering, clapping as each piece is given its moment and basking in the theatrics of it all. Everything sings with Hongjoong’s personal touch. It’s dramatic and elegant and everything that y/n knows to be the essence of Hongjoong’s taste and the Silver Light brand. The crowds are loud, and y/n uses the opportunity to slip away unnoticed from the police and the general public, back into the safehouse Silver Light had so kindly borrowed for tonight’s event. Sure, they’re going to miss when Hongjoong reveals himself and scatters leaflets inviting everyone to purchase an item from his collection, but they’ve seen that all before.
And then they fall asleep on the closest sofa.
Hongjoong bounces in with excitement as he pushes the door of the safehouse wide open, the leftover adrenaline coursing through his veins. He laughs, victorious and gleeful before yanking a now wide-awake y/n.
“Someone looks happy~” they comment, and Hongjoong stops outside his makeshift office, letting his adrenaline take the lead and planting a kiss on their lips.
“Oh, y/n,” he exclaims, pushing open the door and pulling y/n inside. “You have no idea! My darling pet, I~ will be making good on that promise I made.”
And almost immediately he has y/n pressed against the wall as he captures their lips in a kiss, eager and finally getting to act on that bundle of unspoken desire in his chest. A hand is cupping their cheek, tilting y/n’s head as Hongjoong’s tongue pushes past their bottom lip, demanding entry in the only way he can. He explores the warmth he had dreamt about, a chuckle sounding in his throat as y/n’s mouths feels just as good as he had imagined.
“Perfect…” he whispers, a trail of saliva connecting their mouths as he pulls away. “my perfect, perfect y/n…”
Hongjoong gasps in pleasant surprise when y/n makes the move to attack his neck, kissing and sucking on his skin with vigour. He relents, exposing his neck for his darling y/n and busies himself with the task of removing their clothes. By simply ripping them clean off, enjoying the surprised whimper that vibrates against his neck. He pulls them back just that little bit, running his gaze across their exposed body and—
Oh, how pretty his y/n is.
The hairs on the back of y/n’s neck stand up under Hongjoong’s eyes as heavy breaths leave their lips. This is happening now, and they want it, no matter what tonight will do to their friendship with the man in front of them. Whatever lingering hesitations they’ve ever had go out the window, and y/n wastes no time themselves in removing Hongjoong’s clothes, just that bit gentler about it than him.
“Pretty little pet,” they shiver as Hongjoong whispers in their ear. “Want to be good for me, don’t you?”
And they do. They really, really do.
Somewhere in between heated touches and the new hickeys being made on their skin, y/n watches as Hongjoong sinks to his knees, grabbing the inside of their thighs and getting dangerously close to their cunt. He’s taking his time, kissing just close enough to their folds, making y/n twitch in anticipation, but it’s not enough. They want more. Y/n needs more. So, they buck their hips, chasing the feeling but whimper the moment Hongjoong pulls himself away and holds them still.
“You said you’d be good for me, pet, didn’t you?” They nod.
“Then beg. Beg for me to get my mouth on that gorgeous little cunt like the good little slut we both know you are for me.”
So, y/n begs. Pleads with Hongjoong to shove his face in between their legs and eat them out until their knees buckle, for him to push his lithe fingers inside and wring cries out of their mouth. For Hongjoong to fuck them.
Satisfied, Hongjoong digs his fingers into y/n’s thighs as he pulls their legs apart, tutting as his favourite little pet tries closing their legs, suddenly shy. What, did they think he was joking?
“Still or I leave you like this, understand?”
“Yes, yes Captain…” And Hongjoong likes that.
“You keep calling me that, pet.” He says, and wastes no time in pulling himself closer, licking a fat stripe along y/n’s folds. They’re wet, and Hongjoong goes to town, indulging himself and sucking on the sensitive flesh until his nose is buried in y/n’s cunt, drinking up the sounds of his pet’s gasps and whines, his title a song on their lips. He keeps going, bringing his fingers to y/n’s untouched clit, rubbing against the bud in achingly slow circles.
He spends minutes like this, slipping two of his fingers inside y/n’s sopping cunt and sparing little mercy as he coaxes them closer and closer to orgasm. Hongjoong’s cock is stiff in his dress pants, straining against the fabric and the taste on y/n on his tongue is going to make him fucking come if he isn’t careful. He peers up from where he’s kneeling between their legs, hooded eyes making contact with the desperation looking back at him.
“Hong— Captain! Please!” Y/n cries when Hongjoong slips a third finger inside them, hands scrambling for purchase against the wall of the office. They’re close, so achingly close and fucking dammit they need to come so badly. But Hongjoong doesn’t relent, raising a brow and watching them writhe where they stand.
“Please, what, pet?” He taunts. “Use your words like the good pet you are.”
“I— I want to come! Please, Captain, I’m so— fuck, fuck— so close, I need—” Whatever words they want to say are stolen out of their throat, replaced instead by an overwhelming pleasure that has them squeezing their eyes shut, at the mercy of Hongjoong’s will. It’s unrelenting, and soon enough their orgasm is crashing through them, shooting stars through their vision all the while Hongjoong makes them ride it out on his fingers, the man getting off his knees and pulling them into a heated kiss. They can taste themselves on his lips, and it only spurs on another wave of desire.
They’re bent over the desk when the last of the first aftershocks leave their systems, head held back by neck as Hongjoong whispers dirty promises and slides his cock into their inviting – and only a little sensitive – cunt. A second goes by, the designer allowing y/n to only just get used to it before he starts thrusting, a leisurely quick pace.
“All this time, darling,” Hongjoong groans from above them,” all this time I could have had this perfect body of yours bent over my desk. Made for me, you were, absolutely made for me.”
And fuck, aren’t they just?
Hongjoong can’t hold back anymore, and he presses his chest against y/n’s back, pounding away into their tight hole and groping their chest in his hands, nipples caught in between thumb and index finger. Y/n’s cries are only motivation, and in the few seconds it takes for him to figure out the best angle, Hongjoong decides he’s allowed to chase his own high, giving into the devil on his shoulder and biting on the soft flesh of y/n shoulder.
“It’s so much, oh god—”
“Fuck- just a little longer pet, c’mon,” he rasps, his own orgasm well within reach. “Where do you want it, hm? You can answer that much, can’t you?”
“Yes, yes, fuck— on my back, I want it on my back!” And what else is Hongjoong to do, but oblige? He fucks them into them with the slightest hint of abandon, holding y/n impossibly closer and the orgasm builds, and builds, until he’s pulling out and coming onto their back with a drawn-out moan, his hips stuttering as the waves of pleasure begin to die down.
Exhaustion makes its way into the room, but it’s welcome this time, as Hongjoong very graciously helps y/n rest on the sofa he’d luckily had moved inside the office. There’s some wipes and a towel, and he makes quick work of cleaning the both of them up, ruffling up y/n’s hair when they watch him, almost surprised.
“And what’s that look for?” He huffs, tossing the used wipes away and patting them both dry. “I’m not that bad.”
Y/n simply laughs and shakes their head. They’re rather cute sometimes.
“Just,” they gesture to the office and between the two of them, “all of this; the event, the sex, the… us, I guess? I’m going to be sore tomorrow but fuck, that was amazing.”
Hongjoong nods along as he heads over to his desk and pulls out two water bottles, handing one to y/n as he sits down beside them, the pair donning robes. Nothing but the finest cotton, of course. There’s a silence that overcomes the rooms, and Hongjoong welcomes it – y/n too, sinking into the plush cushions and eying the evidence of sex in the room.
And then Hongjoong breaks the three minutes of silence, because his mind suddenly craves an answer.
“Y/n, pet… do you think this will change anything?”
“Between us, you mean?” He nods.
“Well, you’re treating me the same way you normally do, I don’t exactly want to date you…seems pretty same-y to me.” Y/n reasons, but then they pause. “Though, the sex continuing would be a pretty nice bonus~”
Hongjoong laughs, “so our little relationship is on the dole then, is it?”
“Oh shut up, you.”
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voidsuccessarchive · 1 year
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Void Success Archive
Status: Posting when I have the time & feel like it
Details on this blog:
My goal is for this blog to be a source of help & motivation for the void/I AM state & manifesting (you don't have to enter the void to manifest any of the things in these stories, see my other side blog @loasuccessarchive). For more information on what the void/I AM state is, you can read this, this and this
Please read this if you are considering getting coaching or paying someone to enter the void for you...
Stories I archive: ones that included details about what they manifested and/or helpful information on how they entered the void state.
To maintain quality, I don't archive stories if: I don't think they were particularly helpful, the majority of the font used/writing made it difficult to read, they are NSFW/inappropriate or I feel they may not have entered the void
Unlogged posts are under the tag #to be logged
For past blog updates, see here
2023 Archive (ordered by date originally posted or closest estimate):
January
February
March
April
May
June & July
2023 Stats:
Currently archived up to: 25th June 2023
Total unique archived success stories: 197
Other:
Search the Directory - sorted by blogger usernames
2022 Archive (164)
2021 Archive (15)
Quotes from the Archive (all quotes are tagged)
Tags by method: #yoga nidra, #lucid dreaming, #i am
See my side blog @voidarchivefiles for other archived posts on the void including methods, tips and resources
See my side blog @loasuccessarchive for a collection of 100+ extraordinary success stories that used law of assumption to manifest and not the void
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