#to which i say No I Am Just Mentally Ill

[butchviking]

i hate being a mentally ill adult actually. i hate that there’s always groceries to be bought and housekeeping to do and work in the morning i hate that we have no space to feel it all i hate that we walk around acting normal. there are so many people i know who are clearly deeply unhappy with their lives and we make silly little jokes that allude to it but sometimes i want to grab them by the shoulders and scream ‘i know you are miserable!! we can’t keep living like this!! this is why people break!!’ im sick of this drudgerous apathy i want us all to be dramatic like when we were teenagers i want us to sob together and scream bloody murder at each other and tell each other we want to kill ourselves not as a funny post-ironic joke but because we all feel like that sometimes!! i want us to get fucked up on god knows what til we can’t open our eyes i want us to take care of each other instead of always taking care of ourselves i want us to be vulnerable i want us to hold each others hands in the ambulance!!

#don't get me wrong there are happy and beautiful times! there is wonder and fulfillment!! #but how do u share in the one if u can't share in the other? #i can't walk into work and say #'yesterday all i could think about was which of you would cry if i died #but today i saw a kid pick a flower and it felt like the most beautiful thing that had ever happened' #i don't even talk to my friends like that! it's all 'haha yeah been having a rough week. u know how it is. hbu?' #i feel like im going crazy but i dont believe that! aren't we all feeling this??? is anyone else feeling this??? is this fucking normal???? #am i just emotionally closed off?? is everyone else having these conversations am i the stunted one who doesn't know how to talk about it?? #i KNOW im living with mental illness but so are a lot of people! im sad sometimes but im not losing my mind! i know other people feel this!!

[forbiddennhoney]

im begging people to turn on the post dates for your feed bc sometimes i see ppl rb advice with good intentions but the advice is from 2010-2017 and therefore is WILDLY outdated!!!! and that's not good!!!!!

#personal #like well intentions are one thing #but advice from that time period esp abt very important things like healthcare finances homelessness etc is VERY outdated #as someone who lived thru some of the shit recently that ppl rb this stuff abt #like please please please i am begging #this information/advice is not timeless! nd changes CONSTANTLY #and PLEASE READ THE POSTS CRITICALLY???? #i saw someone rb a homelessness advice post recently that suggested hitchhiking to the midwest or south which is TERRIBLE advice- #-if u arent a thin white cis (passing) str8 (passing) able bodied person!!!! #which lbr the ppl most affected by homelesness are queer & trans & mentally/physically ill black & brown ppl #ive seen posts being shared saying that homelessness isn't THAT bad if u just shop cheap - whcih is ALSO not true?????? #im harping a little on homelessness bc thats admittedly some of the biggest shit ive seen w/ this issue #but yeah just. please turn on the dates and use criitcal thinking b4 rbing any and all “advice” posts #there Are people out there who write well intentioned advice that is extremely dangerous #there are people out there who wrote advice that was good for when it was posted but not now #there are even ppl out there who write fake advice that is legitimately dangerous for people to do #just. please

[wildflowercryptid]

kieran seems to unfortunately be joining my collection of faves that get treated real fuckin weird by parts of their fandoms for being ppl who exhibit their struggles with mental illness in less than appealing ways.

#the other big faves that fall into this category are bernadetta von varley from fe3h and shane from sdv #they're both fairly popular but i also see ppl say the wildest shit regarding them #like i've seen ppl say they wanted to see shane suffer more which is ???? #yeah he's an asshole but that's a wild response to have to someone being rude to you i'm sorry #one of the major reasons why i haven't been frequenting kieran's tags is bc i keep seeing takes that make me side eye the poster #like why are some ppl wording their posts like kieran's a horrid person i am begging ya'll to chill #kinda sucks to see characters you relate to bc of how they exhibit their mental illness be shat on bc of it idk #sorry i just needed to ramble about this for a sec #mj.txt

[venacoeurva]

I've dealt with some real weirdos and especially in the NSFW spaces I've been, people lose a lot of common sense with strangers, but especially when they're horny, or think being in sexual spaces (or other places that are less formal and more open about some things) makes your boundaries nonexistent. People can hardly act normal asking for @ s of accounts for that kind of thing, but y'know it also applies to SFW spaces as well sometimes because the average attitude in some spaces are super goddamn weird and either culty or reinforcing parasocial shit... or just really entitled, need it be access to the creators of something, or towards just other people in the circle making stuff

Remember, if some rando is thinks they're entitled to your art/writing/edits/mods/whatever you post because they like it and act like you're a cold selfish bitch who is suddenly bad at being in [whatever hobby/creative job industry you do if you do that] for having boundaries, rejecting a commission/work from them, sometimes even just telling them requests aren't open, or they violate rules you have established are needed to follow you wherever (such as age), you're allowed to give them the boot because they're annoying, wrong, and are more often then not holding a one way ticket to parasocial town and you do not want that near you.

You owe them nothing, if negative behavior like that towards you is brought on/worsened by their mental health issues/disabilities/so on, it's still not your damn job or obligation to keep them around or help them manage even if you're understanding of it because they aren't your friend or kid. That's an explanation, not excuse or get out of jail free, block em.

#vena vents #things I wish I knew when I was like. 18 #PSA I am mentally ill btw so before anyone starts on that last part. I just don't make it anyone else's problem #they are not obligated to give you a get out of jail free card for experiencing RSD or not noticing their boundaries or something #I just block if someone is giving off vibes that they would be the most annoying person ever if they ever interacted with you #which is to say not the average person in my notifs but there have been some #if you're still here you're not one of them #not art #I delight in blocking people like this unless they're clearly mentally ill bc I Get It Man but I'm not letting you violate my boundaries #Most of them have been just plain entitled teenagers and young adults tho

[brittlebutch]

forgive any incomprehensibility but the notion that the world can be cleanly split between the two immutable categories of 'the neurotypical' and 'the neurodiverse' ignores the reality that any person can at any point for any reason be arbitrarily 'diagnosed' by a 'professional' and shuttled between categories with no regard for the notions of 'accurate traits' or 'specific symptoms'. nice dichotomy what lies outside of it? you understand me?

#N posts stuff #i'm reading some old issues of 'Phoenix Rising' and a line in one of the articles really caught me #''we are questioning the very foundation of psychiatry which uses mental illness; which is often just behavior that is judged strange #by some usually conventional middle-class-standard of morality'' #also thinking about that post i reblogged yesterday claiming that 'posture sway' is a Symptom of adhd like. #Embracing the pathologizing of average behaviors VS the like. weaponizing of diagnoses against 'undesirables' #idk am i making sense? lol #like people talk about this re: disability - the notion that anyone can become disabled at any time but that's usually in the context #of like. 'anyone is one bad accident away from being disabled' but Neurodiversity in particular does not even require that much #another Phoenix Rising tells the story of a woman who like. got a little sick at work and diagnosed as 'stress' and prescribed a #heavy tranquilizer that caused side effects no one had told her about; she got confused at her appointment and her subsequent #panic got her involuntarily committed as psychotic where they upped the medications and gave her ECT until the combo #caused so much brain damage that she seized and died. bc she threw up at work one day. the categories are not immutable and #the people who define them have agendas. who benefits from buying into this dichotomy? you understand what i'm saying? #anti psychiatry

[lil-vibes]

Now that the translations are out I gotta say that IF this is trully how it ends for him, I'm disappointed. Like I was never under the illusion that Gojo would've survived till the end of the manga but this just feels so... off? So underwhelming, almost? Like, it feels incomplete and granted, Gege has killed characters that, arguably, weren't finished with their arcs (Nobara, Nanami) before but even if we take that into consideration this one still feels so wrong to me.

Obviously I wanted Gojo to win and obviously everyone knew that he wasn't going to (historically, he has always lost something so important whenever he 'wins' a battle that it renders his victory almost meaningless) but killing him off screen, even with all of the explanations, when he was straight up folding Sukuna's shit for like 10 chapters straight just feels cheap and Sukuna's victory actually feels undeserved to me bc of it.

He was on the defence most of the fight. He pulled out every single thing he could from Megumi's CT and STILL got his ass handed to him multiple times. Im gonna be real, despite me making fun of his ✨fraud-core✨ chapters, I like Sukuna. I like him a lot as a character and as an antagonist and so I want to see his victory actually mean something, or be hard won since this was a fight between THE pillars of the jujutsu world. Perhaps if he killed Gojo with his own CT it would have felt more right ? Maybe..

Besides all of that, what happens now? What could possibly be done against Sukuna now that The Strongest is out of the picture? Kashimo, and let it be known that i love him dearly, will be folded in probably 2 chapters max. Yuta (<3), Yuuji, Maki, Hakari and his domain will not be enough.

Like sometimes I feel like people just either forget or don't grasp the sheer depth of the power gap between Gojo and EVERYONE else. It's just so insanely large that after defeating him, Sukuna is trully unstoppable. And if Gege pulls some shit and has him defeated regardless, then that will just be bad writing and Gege, for all I curse him on the daily, isn't a bad writer.

Truth be told, whenever a chapter ended before, I wasn't all that scared that Gojo was done for solely because the manga would have ended. Like, in universe, if Gojo goes down then it's a wrap for everyone else pretty much immediately (like mans got sealed and not even 10minutes later everything went to hell in that godforsaken train station) so now that this has happened I trully wonder where this will go from here?

#im just... idk feeling a lot of things abt this chapter #on another note MAKI COMFORTING YUUTA IN THAT ONE PANEL MAKES ME WANNA D WORD #yuuta my beloved this wasnt ur fault you would have been attommized the moment u stepped foot on that battle field #this was just me having to get these tought outta my head bc. it was driving me up the walls #i have. somewhat. of a trust in gege that he will somehow pull through #and by that i mean i have faith in his writing skills #gege when i catch ur ass in hell its so over for you #anyways someone check on shoko and yuuji before i track down this fukass one eyed cat and make him into wet cement #i trully hope that his pillows are warm on both sides. unless he enjoys that. in which case i hope they r blocks of ice #jjk spoilers #jjk 236 #gojo satoru #pebbles (me) ramblers #long post #-ish #the anime ep tho... the amount of Toughts i have are just. unlimited #gotta say the decision to make him gigfle when he was making hanami into wall paint was DIABOLICAL #feral gojo my absolute beloved you are so mentally ill its insane #im NOT talking abt the box. im NOT. thinking abt gojo's 'huh?' when he heard kenjaku calling him i am NOT subjecting myself to that again #okkotsu yuuta #jjk thoughts #jjk sukuna #its 2.20am and im so so 'eepy #youtube play 'mr loverman' #jujutsu kaisen

[wild-at-mind]

Had a really stupid conversation via minor emotional breakdown with a queer friend about what makes an LGBTQ person 'assimilist'. From what she said I'm kind of forced to draw the conclusion 'if you say you're not assimilist, then you're not'.

#i love her but none of it makes any sense to me #i think i really just wanted her to see that this kind of rhetoric is no good if you're fundamentally unable to see yourself as having valu #to a community- which is where i'm still at sometimes unfortunately. #i would say that i may not be the only one since mental illness + self esteem issues + being lgbtq are not exactly unlinked #but i have basically never found anyone else who has my particular hangups...maybe online once ages ago #so in my own mind i'm the most assimilist lgbtq who ever existed- not even worthy to call myself queer #and it's nice that she thinks i am not like that and in fact am 'one of the good ones' #who is not assimilist- look i know that 'one of the good ones' usually means the opposite ok i know! it's just an impression i get #she's like telling me obviously i'm all good because i look like i do but all i can hear is #that if i didn't look like this then i'm an assimilist #i fucking hate my brain honestly no one asked me to have a mental breakdown at their house (thank god i didn't cry) #and then go home and that's when i cry because i saw a trans guy's 'this many years on t' post and i felt like shit because #i haven't done anything about transitioning in ages and i'm not even out at work :'( #like i know i'm an assimilist because my main reason for not coming out at work is not wanting to do the beaurocracy #of changing my name on my email and every fucking log in i have on everything- telling every single person i interact with #i just can't it's too much and my line manager is worse than useless #but i have 'my job is computer and doing emails all day' privilege so i don't like to talk to people about it

[secondbutonenothird]

i think y'all would be blown away by how much i think about numbers and how much more i am aware about than most or all of the people that i know

#ocd: #there are two words before the word y'all which is separted by the ' creating a barrer like in sentences that are five words and are #separted by commas like hello (comma) are you okay (comma) (name) #this is three lines and too many words for it to count #sentences that look like they are seven are probably eight unless they are seem like hello are you okay and you (name) that is seven and no #eight nine can be divided into sentences like are you okay are you okay are you okay with it making sense because it is divided by 3 into 3 #which means that it is nine but even though are you okay are you okay is 3s divided it is six which is two and six and not three and nine #when you see signs twelve does not work because six cannot be divied into three and can be divided into one but that is too many words on #one line for it to be socially accpectable eight does not work on more than one line expect if you make it eight lines #nine works and three works and one works obviously #that sentence right there is ten words but 2 2 3 so sort of not working but since it is counts it is probably okay #i have figured out a lot of this and i have a ton of examples because i am working with numbers constantly #following three people having an even or odd amount of followers #five is an accpectable nummber becauuse it go like 10 15 20 and so on which are good numbers #11 and 10 look surpisingly similar and are easy to notice #watching tv shows is interesting #you can usually fix a lot of sentences with the words as but and #like if a sentence was hi how are you period i am okay you could hi as i am okay but how are you #i know that sounds like shit and does not make sense but it works for me in those kind fo situations #because i read it and edit it at the same time #books are worse because you can look at the paragraph for a while trying to figure out what makes sense #sometimes i just read them over and over again trying to figure out how to make it so the amount of lines is the right number #is the right number and the amount of sentences is the right numbeer and the words is a right number #i can explain more examples because you know i have a lot because i do this for more than like 3 hours a day for almost a year i am doing i #right now if you have not noticed that everything is following it #i swear it was there but now it is not there so i am just going to say it #sometimes i wonder if i am overexgratting how hard it is to have ocd or if it is just something simple and i should not be so fucking #dramatic #shitposting #mental illness ocd

[musical-chick-13]

Okay, no, sorry, I’m still mad about this. “Be critical of the media you consume and examine why you react to it in the way that you do, support marginalized and stigmatized identities.” Yeah, until it’s about mental illness.

A woman (or even man, if he’s deemed over-emotional) makes music about suffering from mental illness and people just go, “What are they complaining about, that’s so immature, hashtag wangst.” (And then, sometimes, inexplicably, if the mentally ill woman gets better and writes happier music, they then talk about how artistically bankrupt she is now and that she should go back to hating herself.) People LOVE cis white pRoBLeMaTiC (straight) fictional men until they are realistically mentally ill, in which case they’re “whiny” and “insufferable” and deserve to die violently, apparently (or, if fandom is merciful, they’re ignored). (And then they celebrate when they DO inevitably get killed off.) “Do your duty and watch [thing I, mc13, personally find insufferable] For The (white) Gays because it has Gays.” Sure, will you watch c4 Pure, the ONLY show specifically about OCD, then? (No, the answer is no, it’s always no.)

I can’t get anyone to watch Doom Patrol. I couldn’t get people (in general-I did convince a few irl friends thank GOD) to watch Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. One of the most popular and acclaimed shows right now has a character with schizophrenia who was turned into the Big Bad Villain for no fucking reason. One of the most commonly-cited examples of Iconic™ queer media involves a mentally ill man being broken over and over and over again before The Ship™ can reasonably happen. DW introduced a major character who was at one point suffering from mental illness in her past, AND THEN ALL MENTION OF THIS WAS COMPLETELY DROPPED IN THE FUTURE, WITH NO BEARING ON ANYTHING TO THE POINT WHERE I FORGOT IT EVEN EXISTED??!?!? R*tched was a thing that existed despite the Sad Sympathetic Backstory treatment being IN DIRECT CONTRADICTION OF WHAT PURPOSE THIS CHARACTER SERVED IN One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. THEY GAVE. A SAD WOOBIE VILLAIN TREATMENT. TO THE /LITERAL PERSONIFICATION/ OF ABLEISM. THAT IS HER FUNCTION. TO EXIST AS A SYMBOL OF ALL THE WAYS SOCIETY OPPRESSES THE DISABLED AND MENTALLY ILL.

I am!!! Literally!!!!! The only one!!!!!!!!! Complaining about these things!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE ONLY ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No one else has said ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No one is talking about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m so tired!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#*OBLIGATORY COMMENT ABOUT HOW REPRESENTATION/FICTIONAL DISABILITY IS NOT THE END ALL BE ALL OF ACTIVISM* #*OTHER OBLIGATORY COMMENT ABOUT HOW LIKING '''pRoBLeMaTiC''' CONTENT DOES NOT MAKE YOU A BAD PERSON OR A HORRIFYING ABLEIST* #THIS WAS JUST ME GETTING MAD IT'S NOT THAT DEEP #In the Vents #the real horror was the ableism we found along the way #like. in some of these cases yes I /KNOW/ it was not meant to come across like that!!! but y'all accept that as a valid type of media #criticism when it's about anything else!!!!!!!! just not this apparently????!?!!!! #I do not understand how there is such an ABYSMAL treatment of the subject of mental illness in fiction when this is the #memetic Mental Illness Website like genuinely I do not get it I am scaling my walls and banging pots and pans and growling like a rabid dog #IF YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT THE MESSAGE A STORY IS TELLING YOU GOTTA APPLY IT HERE TOO #I AM ALSO THE LAST PERSON TO SAY THAT YOU'VE GOTTA ADD A DISCLAIMER OF SOMETHING'S LAUNDRY LIST OF FLAWS BEFORE YOU TALK ABOUT IT #BUT JESUS FUCKING CHRIST YOU HAVE TO ACKNOWLEDGE ON SOME LEVEL EVEN IF IT'S JUST TO YOURSELF THAT THINGS HAVE FLAWS #YOU'VE GOTTA BE AWARE OF SHIT #WHEN WILL WE HAVE THE OUTCRY OVER BURY YOUR DISABLED THAT WE DO OVER BYG (WHICH IS ALSO BAD BTW) #I GUARANTEE YOU WE WON'T BE GETTING A SEPARATE FUCKING CON OVER FANDOM OUTCRY THAT'S FOR SURE #I'm making a rule: if you can prove to me that you've started cxgf after reading this and/or if you can prove to me #that you've watched pure (channel 4/hbo max-the one with charly clive) I'll write a fic for you #let's see if I get sniped for criticizing both the beloved sacred mads show AND the plane crash girls show #if I see ONE more comment about how either of those is a perfect show that Gets What All The People Want I will in fact spontaneously #combust. #(and before you @ me yes I have any and all permutations of show tags blocked I'm not just being mean to be mean) #my god remember what happened the last time I tried to talk about this a;lsdfkajs;ldfkj #good thing I turned off anonymous asks!! #this is not even getting into some of the SMALLER fandoms #like I do not ever want to think about the takes I saw for ctrlz EVER again

[arsonist-chicken]

btw in absolutely unsurprising news I fucked up the exam of that class I'm taking for the third time badly again.

in very surprising news, apparently Something happened, idk if the dean said something to the professor or I looked like a distressed broken down wet rat enough or he just doesn't want to see me in his class again or idk, maybe it's not good for him if someone fails his class three times, but he actually offered that I could do a written exam on friday instead? which. is extremely surprising. good, because it gives me another afternoon to study and I can draw and go back to questions on a written exam, even if I have to shuffle around the other exams and papers now, just. very surprising.

#lol but next semester is the fucking seminar again with also the same professor #idk how you can teach such shitty classes regularly and never think hmmm maybe i should change something #with the amount of people having to take the classes at least twice #anyway good for me i'll keep crying over uni the rest of the week and the weekend too and then i'll do stuff next week #like i need to call my insurance and annoy them in person until they say yes to any therapist who will have me #and call the other thing #and oh i really need to find a different GP because i'm soundly back at the stage of where i can literally not think two sentences #after each other without trailing off or it taking up extremely much energy just to remember which store i wanted to go to #and i'm aware that stress and mental illness causes brain fog or whatever #but i've been stressed before but this only started last autumn and i need a different doctor to look at it #who won't just say oh it's just iron levels #there's something wrong with my brain and i need someone competent who actually cares to look at it and tell me #if therapy will fix this or if it's a physical problem #please let it be just brain fog htat therapy can fix i don't have time for this #i just want to sleep and cry until this bs is over but semester break starts next week but i still have exams then and a whle list of #stuff to do for uni still plus stuff otuside. like a doctor. and sleep a normal amount instead of in weird horu intervals on my desk and in #my clothes on my bed or floor or wherever i am at the moment my brain decides it's over now #also friends. i wanted to catch up. also a job. like. yeah i need a job even if idk how i'll do uni and a job with the way my brain is righ #now #huh. oh i have another exam in half an hour. send help i don't want to go to uni anymore #mine #still don't know what that class or the seminar next semester are about btw but we moce #*move #goddamn it I'm TIRED and not just in the physical sense #i'm so goddamn done with uni and insurances deciding about psychotherapy and the general state of the world and cost of living #and i miss my friends and i want to visit them but nither them nor me have time and travelling is expensive #and ijust want a goddamn fucking break but i don't see one comign anytime soon. not before summer #but probably not even then #and after that i'll start working so like #at least no goddamn seminars anymore but i still absolutely dread having to decide where i want to work a

[deepfriedpaddymayne]

ok I have been thinking about this nonstop for like a month now so. just for my own curiosity.

#istg there can't be many of us lesbiabs and i am curious #but also seriously if you are a lesbian (gender neutral) AND rogue heroes girly you should hmu #because we are probably mentally ill in a similar way and we should be girl best friends. and maybe even.... no i shan't say it #sas rogue heroes #oscar rambles #i have just been thinking about it because i feel like. i see a lot of Men Thirst in this fandom #which. makes perfect sense considering and is super valid #but that makes me curious to see how many of us are there who are just. not interested in men at all #i feel like this show is a perfect example of 'lesbians and the horrible little guy they're obsessed with' #so again. i am intrigued

[pink-elefantz]

"it's ableist to be scared of losing your memory" bestie what the fuck are you talking about. ur all giving me diarea

#actuallydissociative #did/osdd #y this shit on my dash #''people with memory loss are real people'' and???? #im seeing a really weird trend in targeting people with ocd and health anxiety etc with this shit specifically #when they aren't even being ableist about their fears (which ofc is also a thing) but like theyre literally just #saying it's a fear that is taking over their life #people saying theyre scared of losing their mental faculties and autonomy are not automatically painting mentally ill ppl negatively #chat am i ableist for being prepared to kms if I ever get diagnosed w alzheimers as someone who already has amnesia #like. the people ur making up dumbass discourse about are real people with real lives and problems. please calm down #there is more going on in relation to this too like the healthcare system being shite #there is a difference between telling ppl its not a death sentence vs bitching about how theyre problematic #for being scared of an objectively scary life experience

[viktoriamagrey]

At some point we're going to have to talk about how much damage social media has done to certain groups of vulnerable, mentally ill people by convincing them a certain thing is supposed to be their entire personality or something to completely accept rather than work on. This milquetoast approach, this shrugging of the shoulders and simply telling people that they're "fine the way they are" and that they don't have to do anything, that they just need "more support from others" (as if that solves their problems) is backfiring really badly on people who really don't need even more cushioning from their problems. In certain online pockets, it has actually alienated people who seek recovery from their own spaces by creating an echochamber of despair that makes people even more likely to scowl at the entire concept of accountability, or acknowledging the part they play in their issues. It just goes back to a basic problem with identity "culture". If you convince an entire group of people that they are always the victim for simply being who they are, they never have to be held accountable for anything, no matter how much it affects them or others. That's why so many people crave an identity to latch onto, and why it's such a dangerous mindset to have towards mental illness in particular.

...I'm really resentful of this mentality, because to some degree I fear that all it has done in the end is make certain types of people even less likely to seek help or treatment, simply scapegoating other people or pointing to "the stigma" as an excuse whenever anything negative is said, which is what happens when people overidentify so much with the broader strokes of a mental illness; that even just admitting its negative impacts is viewed as a big, personal attack. Those that really do need to hear more acceptance usually just stay completely out of the conversation to avoid being associated with certain, more conflictive types of people, and only get to see negative comments being made from either side.

It's incredibly disheartening to see. I understand that certain things arose as a direct response to the villification of mental illness, which is definitely a problem that is still very much in the process of being addressed at all in some ways. But there are plenty of people who could definitely use a much bigger push and are not getting that because people think that if you don't treat the very mention of everyone's condition with kid-gloves you may be "responsible" for someone being hurt or otherwise hurting themselves. The thing is, that's not anyone's responsibility but the person's. (I've seen so many comments on videos on mental health topics where people confess to going there specifically to self-harm. Does that mean we shouldn't talk about them?) If it's just the truth, you should be allowed to speak it. There are certain comments you seem to be not allowed to make, no matter how much they're backed up by people who know what they're talking about (even just part of a diagnostic criteria!); simply because you're supposed to avoid upsetting the "vulnerable" group who somehow always keeps finding their way back to the things that they want to get mad at specifically to yell at you about it instead of focusing on recovery.

#my thoughts #original text post #ramblings #my text #text post #mental health #discourse #tw discourse #accountability #mental illness #sh mention #self harm mention #self-harm mention #serious #real life topics #serious topic #This is a heavy topic... Here have a flower 🌸 for reading this. #But seriously though. It's just disheartening is the right word. #There is nothing fair about the way mental health is treated. It's always something about which way the pendulum swings. #I am absolutely not saying that there isn't a stigma or that people aren't allowed to want to be treated like human beings! #But there is a very big difference between that and outright DENYING that you have a problem and that it is very much a problem. #The rose-tinted glasses don't help anyone. #I was about to say something else but that is a big can of worms I don't want to open right now. #...Some people probably don't even want to read the DSM V at this point. #Catering to these types of people is not a good thing.

[fellhellion]

🚬….

#am going to exhibit mental illness in the tags as heads up shdhdjfjf also dw none of what I say is #abt or concerns folks here but #yeah. as a tldr very Gabrielcore of me haha but yeah #I wondered for a long time how I could go years without #when a crumb here awakens a voracious hunger in me for affection and approval #and there is simply an element of ego to it - to enjoying the idea that those I admire like what i say #but I think the larger part is simply that I’m myself here #in a way I’m not irl. I’m not…I can’t be vulnerable to people. I can’t let them see me. I don’t want to be rejected I think #but here I am simply. unaware to people who don’t click with me. no one interacts w me unless they’d like to #and there’s a certainty to that which just isn’t quite present irl #so I think the reason I get so easily attached IS because it’s me. because it’s my true self. and I don’t. I don’t know how to not want that #approval and affection beyond just letting the feeling fade with time. beyond removing myself from spaces where it occurs #because it’s not. it’s not fair to foist that onto people who didn’t enter that knowingly. I don’t #I don’t want to be too much. I always feel like I’m too much. too serious too intense feeling too deeply and on and on #I m want to be just enough. not too little or too much. #and yet that’s not healthy nor is honest to those you want to connect w #and people aren’t obligated to connect w you - it’s egotistical to simply think you can correct social step your way into someone’s regard! #but ah I don’t know. it’s been a night. I just wanted to say it plain and honest and finally get it out #but this isn’t like shdhdj asking for pity and such. I’ll be okay it’s all just part of it #vent.txt

[angeltannis]

I didn’t think I’d ever find a more maladjusted, socially inept and downright unhinged autistic woman fave than Tannis. but Reagan from Inside Job is GUNNING for that title

#im not even halfway through IJ and im like good LORD lmao #my blorbo Reagan who has every trauma-related mental illness #i genuinely can't decide which of the two of them is worse off #I'm considering Reagan canonically autistic btw bc of 2 different characters saying she has 'Asperger's' #and also like. it's incredibly fucking obvious. lol #i clicked the show on a whim on Netflix bc I saw a lady in a lab coat and went Neat #and she turned out to be everything I could have wanted and more #she makes me go YIPPEE!! and also Holy Shit Please Get Therapy #the show itself is just 'ok' but Reagan is like. i am cupping her gently in my hands.

[pepprs]

ok. giving myself 4 minutes to make this post and then i finish my homework. i just am so deeply miserable. i really think i made a mistake. i should not be in grad school. i only took a year between this and undergrad and i am still so burned out and mentally ill. im working full time. im only taking one class and this program is supposed to be so good and aligned with what i want and all of that. but i just cant stand having homework. i just cant stand it. i think i am not cut out for academia even though i work in academia. i think i will never get better as long as im still living at home but i have to get better before i can no longer be living at home but i cant get better until im not living at home and every day i still live at home saps away at my will to live quite literally. i should not have started doing grad school without regaining my will to live. without restoring my love for reading and writing that i used to have voraciously when i was younger and less deeply miserable. without recovering from the burnout. i think i made a mistake. i need a masters degree so bad so that i can be safe but i need to not have fucking homework when i already struggle to get through my days without school. i feel so stuck in my life and hopeless and helpless. i dont know what to do

#purrs #i cant drop out or anything because. lol and this class isnt even that big of a deal like i TRULY am freaking out over nothing. but my life #situation is so bad rn bro like i cant get my parents to take me out to drive and i cant get myself to get my parents to take me out to #drive and every day i am guilt tripped berated etc etc and i feel like i am never ever ever going to be able to have my own life where i a #stable and safe and happy. it can happen for other people except for me and my siblings. i dont know. im not explaining anything well. #i just cant do this. i need to not have this one more thing on my plate but i have to because if i dont have a masters degree in my field i #am nothing even though everyone is telling me that isnt true and all of them are credible but im just so mentally ill i cant believe anyone #and icant accept any advice or hope or whatever good about me i just. am stuck. this is as good as it gets and its not even good. #delete later #that was 7 minutes not 4 and i didnt even write anything substantial. nutshell. i just have been so fucking depressed lately oh my goddddd #this is maybe too strong of a thing to say but like. i know it isnt technically neglect if i am an adult but... i think i may kind of be #neglected by my family in some ways a little bit and always have been but like. emotionally. like in the ways in which im never a priority #and the things i need are seen as burdens etc etc. and theres nothing anyone can do about it even myself because im an adult but like lol. #24 year old dependent moment <3 #well there is one thing i can do about it as an adult actually. its called move out. but that requires strength i will #never possess unfortunately due to the inherent flaws in my character and constitution so. guess this is it lawl 🥰 #side note (and i swear im done after this lol): i think i was doing a lot better mentally over the summer. funny how when the semester #starts i get depressed and the depression just gets worse and worse until the end of the semester 😻 funny how this is my seventh year like #this. willingly subjecting myself to this. that should be a clue no? but i love my job and if i could just have my job and be stable in it #would be happier but also im lying to mysaelf and i will always be unhappy but its because of my mental illness not my job being bad or #anything its like. i am just sick in the head with impostor syndrome and thats how i got myself into this whole mess. lol #well that and the not moving out thing which is partially my fault but also because i live in hell as described earlier! <3