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slvtbible · 4 years

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G O L D

chapter one

summary: [y/n is a young stripper who is adored by many men. harry styles is a man who loves to carry danger with him]

word count: 4222

pairing: stripper!y/n and gangleader!harry

warnings: violence, vulgar language, sexual acts, alcohol and drug

to be honest, i was a little hesitant to post it here and i don’t know if this story will blow up on tumblr or get many notes but that’s the last thing on my mind right now. i just want to share what i’ve been working on that kept you guys waiting for almost a year lol sorry about that. But yes, she’s finally here!! I posted first on wattpad before i put it here, I felt like the only way to reach out more people to read it it’s through that. And also, i decided to use a name on wattpad but I’d use the term ‘y/n’ on tumblr. Enjoy it all my loves! Give me feedbacks!💜

Harry fixes the collar of his sheer black shirt before tucking it neatly inside the black trousers he's currently wearing. He normally goes something more extravagant for going out. His closet is filled with colourful ruffles and Hawaiian shirts along with 'more than one colour' suits. However tonight, he needs to lay low for a bit. Especially when he's about to step into one of the most famous strip clubs in New York in an hour to meet up with the manager.

He's very much aware of the reputation he has put on himself out there. Though there's no use of camouflage and hiding, he still doesn't want a cause a scene,

Yet.

His hand lifts a bottle of Tom Ford from the dresser before spraying it twice on his neck. Stepping away from the full length mirror, he grabs his cross necklace from the bed before putting the accessory around his neck as he walks out of the room.

"Talk to me Reece" his heavy accent echoes the hallway as he walks downstairs, watching his few men pocketing their weapons,

Reece, the brown skinned man with tattoos nods. "He's there. Just got a word from Bianco. He appears isn't expecting you, Boss. However I do believe he knows you're coming soon. The club is far too crowded than usual but Bianco is taking care of that right now." He informs, showing him the message on the phone,

Harry can only scoff, nodding at him as a thank you. "That son of a bitch should've. Owes me more than fucking money." He mutters, inserting the .45 ACP inside his gun holster. "The car's ready?"

Nodding, Reece leads Harry down towards the basement. "As requested. Lamborghini Murcielago in blue hera. Pack with 640 PS and 471 kW, rules around 213 mph if you consider on hit and run. Still, I pack a standard Aeropack wing if you wanna go slow tonight. The windows? Bulletproof. In case anyone tries to kill you." Harry knows he's only joking about the last part. No one dares try to kill him before he does it. It's a pattern that everyone knows by now.

Harry lets out a low whistle, softly shaking his head as the machine beauty appears. Tracing lightly with his ring cladded fingers along the hood of the car. "Not planning to hit and run tonight, Reece. Not even thinking about racing down the street with my weapon outside the window. You don't have anything more. . . Less attractive?" He questions, still staring at the gorgeous car ahead of him,

"You know I don't do less, boss." Reece winks playfully, laughing to himself as he watches Harry roll his eyes. "Besides. Who knows you'll get yourself a bird tonight, eh? Take her out on a stroll before bringing her home to your place. Women love fast cars." He comments, pressing the button on the keys as the door opens,

Humming as a response, Harry walks towards the driver's seat, "I don't date anymore, thought my right hand man knew tha' " He speaks, words laced with seriousness while grabbing the keys from Reece's fingers,

He can only sigh and nod his head. "Understood. Yet, Kendra is like what? Two years ago? Gotta get yourself something better, boss. You deserve it. So do it tonight." He suggests, watching him going inside the car before shutting the door,

Harry smiles a bit, inserting the keys inside the ignition before starting the car. "Noted."

The dark haired man steps away from the car. Giving Harry a salute. "I'll be right behind you. See you there."

Y/N Y/L/N stands in front of the mirror as she applies another layer of red lipstick on her plump lips. Securing the tube back as she puckers her mouth to see if it fits the colour for tonight. She twirls, watching carefully how the gold lingerie clads perfectly around her breasts and down to her curvy hips and thick thighs.

She stops once her plump ass is facing the mirror, admiring how beautiful and big her bum is in the lingerie. It's a compliment really. She loves working out to give her bum a bit bigger. It's not that she hopes she'll gain attention from people, she just loves her body. She worships every piece of it despite what other people think of it. Insecurity was her biggest enemy but not anymore. After reading lots of books and poems about self love she learns that there's nothing she should be ashamed of.

Grabbing a bottle of lotion from her table, she squeezes the bottle into her hand before rubbing her bum with the cold cream, rubbing it neatly to make sure she doesn't miss a spot.

Another thing, she loves moisturizing her plump flesh before the show. It's sexy

"Joe is asking for you." She hears a voice coming from behind, craning her neck to see her closest co-worker Violet, already in her usual purple wig and attire as she stands beside Angelina. "I love working as a stripper but he really needs to learn to be patient and. . . shut up, i guess?"

Y/N releases a small laugh, moving her long dark wavy hair to rest on her chest. "I know, I know. Jesus, I've told him fifteen minutes prior that I'll take longer than usual." She slips on her gold heels and turns to face Violet, who's biting her lip as she stares at Angelina's body up and down. "Okay, how do i look?"

Violet raises her eyebrow, as if it's something her friend shouldn't be asking. "You kidding? You look like a sex goddess. Gonna get all the men on their knees for you, girl"

Scoffing, she shoots her a wink and a flirtatious smile. "Old men with beer bellies? No thanks. I'd rather make out with Gordon." She replies, seemingly disgusted about the thought of grinding on an old man's lap tonight.

"Is that a bet I hear?" Violet questions, leaning towards her a bit as she waits for her friend’s response. "Please tell me that it is so I can earn extra cash tonight."

Gordon is a perverted bartender that always keeps his eye on Y/N throughout her routine. He's 40 and is always asking Angelina on a 'date' and by date, he means her ass on his lap. Clearly something Y/N isn't too fond of. Him specifically. Violet and Y/N have always made a joke about him, something they could make a playful banter in every chance they get.

Plus, she heard he's married. Isn't he supposed to find another job rather than here? If his wife found out what kind of a sleaze bag she married, she would be crushed,

Rolling her eyes, Y/N shoves her playfully by the arm. "Ha ha, very funny" she answers, resuming to untangle her hair from knots.

Violet laughs, pinching her on the hip as she lets outa small squeal. "Just messing with you, baby. Good luck out there. Put the rest of us to shame tonight. . . Like any other night"

Y/N flips her off, yet knowing it's the truth. She's not trying to sound like a condescending bitch here but none of the girls here are actually capable to do what Y/N does. That's what makes men attracted to her. She knows what she's doing. She knows how to make a man hard.

"By the way, you heard what Joe's talking about earlier?" Violet asks, toeing off her heels as she exhales a relief sigh. "Damn those heels are killing me" She mumbles,

"No... What's about?" She turns her head to face Violet for her to explain, causing her to shrug her shoulders,

"Don't know much about it. . . But i hear Harry Styles is coming here to meet up with him. Something about transaction or shit" She waves it off, whispering it to Y/N, looking around to make sure no one is eavesdropping,

She almost chokes on her saliva after hearing Violet says the name. "Harry Styles?! The. . . mafia boss of New York..?" Her eyes widen at the possibility of the most dangerous man in the city paying a visit to the place she works at,

Nodding, Violet answers, "Yup. That Harry Styles. He's the devil. Let's hope this place doesn't turn into a war zone."

Y/N has heard about this Harry guy. The most feared man of New York. She does know a little bit of the relations between Joe and Mr. Styles. Almost every night she could hear Joe freaking out about this man. She may not know him that close, hell she had never even met him in person but people talk. One thing she learned about hearing his reputation, you don't ever want to mess with this guy.

Violet snaps her fingers to snap Y/N out of her thoughts. "Less worrying, girl. Come on, you got a show to put on yes?"

"Y-yeah. Fuck. . . now i'm scared" She breathes out, looking at her reflection in the mirror one last time. Calming down her mind.

After giving Violet a kiss on a cheek and receiving a tap on her ass, she takes a deep breath as she opens the beaded curtain and walk out to the club. Jhene Aiko is playing through the speakers, thanks to her who chose the music for tonight. She can already feel all eyes on her as she struts down confidently, putting on a smirk and winking at couple of men here and there. As much as it disgusts her, she grazes her hand along a man's arm who's biting his lip and looking at her up and down.

'What the fuck did i do to deserve this?' she thinks to herself, staring at the man in front of her who's probably the same age as her father. The thought of it makes her gag,

She gives the man a wink before getting up on the stage, hearing a few hollers from behind. reaching out to wrap her hand around the silver pole and her leg hooking up to support her body. Slowly twirling with her head thrown back and closes her eyes with money being toss at her direction before letting go and crutching down on her knees, moving close towards the same man earlier. He slips in a couple of hundred dollar bills inside her panties, causing the others to do the same.

This may be not how she pictures her success but damn, by the end of the week, her bank account can go from three to six digits.

She's definitely gonna hold on to that,

It takes Harry close to thirty minutes to get here. He blames it all on the traffic, cursing to himself every time he stops at red lights. He parks his car close to the entry before he exits from the vehicle. He looks over his shoulder to find a familiar black car driving towards her, noting to himself it's Reece's. Seeing him wave his hand to make sure he's coming in later.

He clears his throat, clenching his jaw as he walks into the club. Reece wasn't lying, the club is too packed for tonight. As if God knew what is about to get down tonight and isn't going to let him get away with witnesses. He really needs to play safe for a while tonight.

As he strides through the room to find a table he has reserved for, a few half naked girls walk right pass him, stroking his exposed chest and grabbing his shoulders. Most of them are gorgeous and he's tempted to touch their soft skin yet he has to hold it. Not that he isn't interested because he's definitely taking someone back to his place tonight--fucking Reece had to be right-- but he needs to get his head in the game for at least an hour before planning to do so.

Gently, he pulls back a chair for him to sit. He specifically asks for the furthest table so no one can figure out what he's about to do tonight. A glass of whiskey has been set on his table before he got here, waiting for Joe's arrival. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Reece and Bianco walking over to his table. One of them gives him a nod to acknowledge his presence.

Harry lifts the glass up to his lips and take a sip of it. Honestly, he hates doing all of this dirty work. Sure, he's the boss. But he despises complicated things. He should've known not to trust Joe about anything, yet when he begged on his knees with a gun knocked against his head as he spat out a bunch of threats to the weakened man, he thought why not? If Joe didn't get to fulfill his demands, he gets to kill him either way. It's always a pleasure for him to do so.

"Mr. Styles! Ay, i'm so happy to see you. You look a lot cleaner than i saw you the last time, eh?" Joe's voice causes Harry's green eyes averts from the scene on the crowd. His eyebrows are knitted, jaw tightened as he taps his fingers against the table, causing the rings he's wearing to knock.

He owes him money worth $50,000. And this man had the nerve to walk in and act like nothing happened.

He is definitely going to kill him.

"Stop with all that shit and sit the fuck down. You owe me something Joe." Harry warns, pointing at him as Harry's men forces the dark haired male to sit down making him gulp. "You owe me 50 grand for that package you piece of shit."

Joe couldn't feel more terrified as he catches a glimpse of Harry's gun on the table, facing towards him. "I know Harry, I know. I didn't forget, okay? It's just the money is tight right now. The girls aren't getting the amount of money they used to be getting." Joe tries to reason but Harry isn't having any of it,

"Stop being a fucking pussy and blame your girls for the money you've lost. I'm running out of patience here, Joe. If you don't give me the money by the end of the week, you're a dead man. I still have one body bag left in my car and I wouldn't mind writing your name on it." Harry grits his teeth, looking at him with a dark look in his eyes. Hand gripping tightly around the glass

"No man, I need more than that. Please, I'll do whatever you ask me to. You will have your money man I promised." Joe begs, looking at Harry with hopeful eyes.

Harry finds it quite disgusting to see someone like him beg for mercy-- for the second time--or anything at all to be honest. He find that gesture is weak and vulnerable which makes him very easy to manipulate over. "I don't give out second chances."

Joe hears a gun clicks behind, he doesn't need to know what's going on. He knows one of the two men behind him is ready to blow his brains out. "Harry man. . . One more. . . Give me one more"

Harry isn't a patient man. He doesn't want people beg. He doesn't want him to beg. But he finds it interesting to see how it goes, playing along this little game of his.

"Fine. you give me your best girl and i'll give you two months." Harry offers, cocking his eyebrow as he leans back to relax himself. "No more than that."

Joe's eyes widen at Harry's demand. It's impossible to collect a 50 grand in two months, especially when he's short on it. He needs more than that. Still, he thinks two months is better than nothing. "Okay. . . Agreed. Just tell me which girl you want or-or i could bring one or two here, man. Take your pick."

Harry can only hum in response, scanning his eyes over the scene. Dozens of girls dancing on stage, few of them even has their bras taken off. It seems to him, none of these girls on the room is his type.

Until his green eyes fall on a certain slightly curvy woman with her leg wrapped around the pole.

Her long dark hair brushing lightly against the floor as she bend her back a bit. He observes the way her body move so dirty yet gracefully around the pole, the way she bites onto her pink glossed lips and how her brown eyes manage to flirt with the crowd and had them lure into her eyes including himself. He swears this girl just steps out of his daydreams. She looks perfect.

He admires how she circle her hips painfully slow, jealous how he isn't close enough to watch her plump flesh near his strong figure.

"Her. I want her" Harry points at the girl he can't take his eyes off. His voice sounds too possessive but he doesn't care if he does. He's too enhanced with the way she moves on that stage and he loves how she swats those dirty hands who seems desperate to cope a feel with a dirty look on her face.

'Seems like a fighter' he thinks to himself

"Y/N? You want her?" Joe asks after he realises who Harry's pointing at.

"Y/N? That's a gorgeous name. She's not taken is she? Not that i care anyway. She's a dime from what i can see here." He says, not tearing his eyes off of her while he sips on his drink. "You're gonna give me her to me aren't you?" Harry asks, his eyes are threatening enough for Joe so he nods his head as a response.

"Yes. Of course. If that's what you want."

"Fuck yes i do. Bring me to one of your rooms. I want a private from her" He demands before gulping down his drink, standing up to head over to the back. Not before glancing at the gorgeous woman one last time who stuffs a few dollar bills in her panties.

After what it feels like forever dancing on stage and have men whistling at her to go over and give them more, she finally sit herself down on a chair in her dressing room and take a deep breath. Moaning in relief as she pulls her heels off while setting her timer on because she only has thirty minutes to rest before going back out there again. She leans back against the chair, sighing in a pure bliss.

She can hear a few girls talking and laughing while preparing themselves for their performance tonight, wishing she could just join in because Violet informs her earlier there's some juicy gossip she needs to talk about but she cant take it. She's too tired.

She has only closes her eyes for 10 minutes until a familiar voice speaks out,

"Where's Y/N?"

She groans internally. Can never mistake that voice soon as she hears it. Her manager, who sounds like he's panting, voice firm as if is an emergency to call her out like that. Y/N still has her eyes shut as she raises her hand up, not having the energy to respond.

"Okay, good. Y/N. You don't need to go back out there again. There's a special guest I need you to entertain. He's already waiting in the red room."

She nods and hum, only to realize what he means as her eyes bugs out.

Wait, what?

She's quick to turn around, brows furrows and mouth hangs open, not believing what she has just heard. "Pardon?"

"There's a man. A guy who I work with, waiting in one of the rooms. He specifically asked for you. I need you to at least give him an hour." Joe notifies, running his hand over his face as if he's stressed about something,

"You want me to give a lap dance to your co-worker?" She raises her eyebrow, not believing what he just asked her

Joe sighs angrily, "it's technically not--Y/N... please. No more questions, just go over there."

"Who's the guy?" she ignores his orders as she stands, crossing her arms across her chest. "Jesus, fuck. I really need my hair to breath" she mutters, brushing down her long dark brown hair,

"Harry Styles."

Y/N freezes in an instant. Looking up to stare at Joe in the eye to see if he's joking, he can only nod his head to confirm her questioning look. " you're shitting me."

"I'm not," Joe replies, walking over to her, not wanting the other girls to hear. "Y/N, I owe him money. I haven't got them yet and--"

She scoffs, rolling her eyes and continue messing with her hair a bit more. "Not my problem."

He reaches out to grab her elbow, pulling her harshly causing her to stumble a bit. "Y/N, please... He wanted to kill me out there earlier. The guy brought a gun for God's sake. He gave me a month but until then... he wants you."

"You know i'm not a hooker" Y/N defeatedly sighs. She wants to help him, she does but it sounds like he's selling her off for a month to this notorious and dangerous guy who is named to be the deadliest man alive by the people of New York.

She loves money but no fucking way she's willing to die for it.

"I didn't say you were" He roughly says, hand gripping tightly on her arm. "Just... do it" He let her go, tired of the waiting because he doesn't want to make Harry pissed off now,

The girl sighs angrily, squeezing her eyes shut as she hesitates for a while. What the fuck did she get herself into?

"Fine. just give me a moment."

Giving her a smile, Joe thanks her by giving her a kiss on the cheek, telling her the door number Harry is in before walking out of the room. Soon after he walks out, she feels sick in her stomach. How could she ever go face to face with a man with blood in his hands? She's about to give this man a lap dance. Who knew he might've ask for more?

So now, as she finishes re-applying a layer of red lipstick, she heads out. Walking to the back of the room in a slow pace. Heart beating loud and fast as she's about to come face to face with this man. Still, she needs to play it cool. God really fucking hates her,

If he really does exists.

She takes a deep breath before opening the brown door carefully, pushing it open. Her knees almost buckle at the sight of Harry Styles, lounging on the leather couch. A cigarette squeeze between his fingers. legs spread open as if it's an invitation already made for her. His head turns towards the door, a smirk graces upon his face.

She's not going to lie. He is indeed dashingly handsome. With his arms resting on the back of the couch making his biceps look a bit bigger. He's got killer looks too. she studies. Sexy smile, and stubble which creates a sexier look on his face. She catches a glimpse of a silver cross necklace resting against his broad chest. His eyes are sharp. Looking at her up and down with his bottom lip bitten between his teeth.

"My, my" he lowly whistles, watching her every move as she enters the room. Locking the door behind her. "I wasn't wrong. You are a fucking dime."

Y/N giggles-- though feeling scared shitless-- and run her hands over her hair as she struts her way towards his figure. Purposely swaying her ass side to side a bit to tease him. "Mr.Harry Styles. . . I heard a lot about you. Word on the street is that you're a man that likes to carry a danger" she smirks seductively as she stands in between his open legs, dragging her finger slowly down her chest.

Her angelic voice is like music to his ears,

"Yeah?" he smirks, eyes falling to the curve of her breasts. "Hope that doesn't scare you, doll. All i want is a dance from you, that's all. I also heard that you are their favourite girl. After seeing you danced on that stage, I now know why."

Again, she giggles. A small blush creeping on her cheeks, hopefully he doesn't see it. "You're a flirt aren't you, Harry? You do this to every girl?"

He places his hands slowly on her plump ass, he doesn't know if he's allowed to touch but he doesn't give a shit. She seems isn't bothered by it. He wants this girl and he wants her now.

"Only to those who i find interesting, baby. Now, are you going to show me what you got?" He asks, looking up to meet her brown eyes as he squeezes her flesh.

With a devilish smirk, she slowly sets herself down on his lap which causes him to let out a soft groan. She runs her hands down to his tattooed chest and toys with his cross necklace for a bit before whispering in his ear, "sit tight and relax, Mr. Styles. I'll be your good girl for tonight"

next chapter

i really don’t want to write a super long chapter, because i’m afraid it’ll bore you guys so maybe--i hope-- this is enough. anyway, i hope you guys enjoy this first chapter, let me know if you guys hate it or love it! I’ll appreciate it. love you guys!

#harry styles x reader #harry styles blurbs #harry styles imagines #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles fanfictions #dom!harry #dom!harry styles #mafia!harry #mafia!harry styles #gang!harry #gangleader!harry #daddy!harry #daddy!harry styles

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sharkselfies · 3 years

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The Minds Behind The Terror Podcast Transcript - Episode 4

Our journey comes to an end with the transcript for episode 4 of The Minds Behind The Terror Podcast, where Dave Kajganich, Soo Hugh, Dan Simmons, and Adam Nagaitis discuss the last two episodes of the series. Once again, Adam steals the show with his revelations about Mr. Hickey, but we also hear about everyone’s favorite death scenes, the fight to let Mr. Blanky say fuck, the many changes the writers made to the ending that differed from the novel, and the importance of trusting your audience’s intelligence.

The Minds Behind The Terror Podcast - Episode 4

[The Terror opening theme music]

Dave Kajganich: Welcome to the fourth and final installment of The Minds Behind AMC’s The Terror as we discuss our final two episodes of the show! I’m Dave Kajganich, creator and co-showrunner of the series, here with the honorable Dan Simmons, creator of the novel The Terror on which the series is based. Also with us is Soo Hugh, executive producer and co-showrunner of the show, and Adam Nagaitis, who plays a man who plays a man called Cornelius Hickey. Welcome back!

Adam Nagaitis: Hi!

Dan Simmons: Hi Dave.

DK: So we launch into our final episodes. Now we are in an episode where the show begins to bend time. We cover a lot of ground in episode nine, a lot of distance, we say goodbye to quite a lot of characters, and we start to really bend the tone and the shape of the narrative towards the kind of horrible collision that’s coming between Crozier and Hickey and our Tuunbaq.

Soo Hugh: So in nine we say goodbye to so many of our characters. I mean Dave and I cried so--

[laughter]

SH: The amount of tears that he and I shed editing this show, especially with nine and ten. For you guys, Adam and Dan, which were the deaths--well, what did you think of the deaths?

DS: What’s your favorite death?

[laughter]

SH: Yeah, what was your favorite death?

AN: My favorite was probably, the one that really moved me was Fitzjames, it’s such a fantastic story, his character’s so interesting, that transition, discovering, you know, admitting who you are, and the firework at the Tuunbaq being his feat of courage, and then to end up, to embrace death, and to do it in such a beautiful way. And then the line of “there will be poems” that Mr. Bridgens says.

[show audio]

[sad, eerie music]

Bridgens (through tears): It was an honor serving you, sir. You’re a good man. There will be poems.

AN: It’s a beautiful death, it’s probably the best you can ask for, in that situation, you’re with a friend. Yeah, it’s quite sad. Of course you gotta love Blanky’s death as well, that’s, I’m cheating, now, yeah, but Blanky’s death is the greatest line to go out on, surely.

[show audio]

[Tuunbaq growling, shales crunching underfoot]

Blanky: What in the name of god took you so fuckin’ long?

[Tuunbaq snorts, Blanky laughs maniacally]

DK: We weren’t entirely sure whether AMC was going to permit us to use that word, a curse word, because on AMC you’re not meant to. Luckily for us, there are a number of AMC shows that have a precedent of using that word and we argued successfully that, you know, could you ask for a better show, a better scene than a Victorian disaster show to use the F-word, and they finally allowed us to use it, and we’re really grateful.

SH: I think just visually Bridgens’ death was so beautiful, and that pull out. And what was interesting was in our research found, we discovered, there was a corpse they discovered who had rolled over and was found sleeping on a set of papers, and in the show Bridgens takes Peglar’s diary when he chooses to die out there in the cold alone comforted with his memories, we see him roll over, and so that’s just our nod to history. Now it turns out we don't know whether or not it was actually Peglar’s diary, it could have been Armitage’s--

DK: No, I think we know it’s Peglar’s journal, but we don’t know whether the man lying on top of it was Armitage or Bridgens.

SH: Then there’s Goodsir’s death. Oh my God, Goodsir! I can’t believe Hickey! Adam! Goodsir!

AN: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. He had it comin’!

[laughter]

AN: I forgot that death, I forgot all of those deaths, actually, what a--so beautifully acted. I mean, unbelievable. It was perfect. The pure clean images of the coral, and the shell, oh I loved it, and the end, I think it’s an orchid, I just loved it, I absolutely--it’s something that I don’t like talking about, that death, it’s really horrible.

[show audio]

[the rising music from the scene of Goodsir’s death]

DS: They were all very moving in their own way, saying goodbye to each of the characters, surprisingly powerful, you know, some of ‘em were not major characters, but everything connected for me watching your version. When--earlier, when Fitzjames is out with Crozier alone, and Fitzjames sort of acknowledges that he’s a fake, that he’s just been faking this heroism, you know, the admiralty thought they sent a hero, they sent Fitzjames, he was the man of the moment, but he hadn’t done that much, so he had the courage to say that, and Crozier immediately had the compassion to point out, “No, you’re here, now, and you’re doing fine,” that’s not the dialect but that’s the essence of his message. So all through these scenes with the different characters, I found compassion again. [It] was the way Crozier touched men who were close to the end, the tone of his voice, you know, it wasn’t mawkish, he wouldn’t like being at all sentimental, but it was so supportive. It was like Goodsir helping the poor boy at the beginning of the show, telling him how death could be good, how you see light, you cross over. The kid died in terror; some of these people did. But most of ‘em, they’re like--Fitzjames, when he’s, you know, when he finally has to be carried in the sledge, and he has a sense of humor at the end, he can laugh at himself, somewhat, ‘cause he tells Crozier that that the bullet that went through his arm into his chest, that area is now so gangrene--er, rotten, you know, the bullet is finally going to kill him. Haha.

[polite awkward laughter]

DK: Well you pointed out a line from the first episode, where Fitzjames is talking to Franklin and he says, “Sometimes I think you love your men more than God loves them,” and Franklin's response is “For all your sakes, let’s hope you’re wrong,” and we brought that line back in a different way in episode nine, which is where the survivors of the Terror Camp attack are about to leave, and they know Hickey’s out there somewhere, and Fitzjames’s impulse is to hide or destroy all of their extra supplies so that Hickey’s group can’t benefit from them, and Crozier has the opposite instinct, which is because he knows some people in Hickey’s group probably made that decision because they were afraid that the alternative was worse to stay with Crozier and so many people, that he wants to offer them the resources in case they can use them and in case they wanna make a different decision in the days ahead.

[show audio]

Fitzjames: And the supplies we cannot carry? If Hickey’s band are waiting us out to loot the camp?

Crozier: Some of the men with them made their choice out of fear, I’ll not take away any chance they have to survive. We may meet them yet again, and if we do, I want them to make a different choice. Leave our supplies in a tidy pile, as an offering. I want the men with Hickey to know that’s how we meant it.

[shales crunching underfoot]

Fitzjames: More than God loves them...

DK: Lines like that are a real test, I mean, you struggle with them in the editing room. Did we earn that line? Is it important that an audience remembers that as an index point that line has now been sort of superficially applied to one man, but more sincerely applied to another man, and, you know, that goes back to sort of a close reading of the book, Dan, just sort of scouring through your dialogue trying to figure out how does a master, if I can refer to you that way, approach this idea of a relationship with an audience? And we learned an enormous amount from your book about restraint and indirection, and credit, giving the audience credit. And I will say this, the series is different enough from your novel that I would encourage everyone who has seen the television show but not read your book to seek it out, because they will have just as rewarding--even more so, possibly!--a time of learning about this history through the lens of horror than they did watching the show. So I think they complement one another. I hope they do, and I hope people will seek out both.

DS: That’s kind of you, Dave. My wife keeps track of the tie-in version of the book, and it’s selling very well, so some people are gonna get that.

SH: There is this fantastic scene that is in your book, that we had neither money nor time to shoot, but it’s where they discover leads, and they take the boats out going around, and they realize they’re just going around in a circle. We didn’t have the time to shoot that and we re-jiggered our narrative so that the leads ended up being a ploy on one of Hickey’s secret mutineers. Nine is a very quiet episode, and in some ways when you, in television shows--did you miss a set piece, in nine? Did anyone miss having a bigger narrative punch?

DS: Well, I'll answer, then let Adam answer, but for me, who had that boat scene and really liked it a lot, I didn’t miss my stuff too much, because what happened was when the young man, a boy actually, who’s secretly under Hickey’s control tells Crozier and the others he sees open water, and they rush to the rocky beach to see it, and of course that was a lie and a ploy to get them there so Hickey can seize them, but my heart just flew, that, “Open water! Ohh boy!” You know? How would men have felt if they’d heard that, in reality, what was their reaction? ‘Cause the open water could conceivably be their savior, they could get other places, not just cross over and start marching through middle Canada, but they could go anywhere on open water, and to see it all locked in with ice was just stunning to me, it was such a disappointment. So no, I don’t miss my part of it very much.

AN: I never thought of it as something that suggests a quiet narrative like you described it, Soo, to me it sort of links--I see nine and ten as one episode, really. It’s this slow build, the creation of that relationship that these two--the antithesis between these two camps, and between the tactics employed... I just think that the way you guys wrote it and put it together is flawless, I just think it’s so beautifully weighted, between, you know, the deaths that to me they don’t seem to just sort of monotonously pile up, they’re all just so beautifully handled and acted. And the whole time you have this tension building, slowly, slowly, that, you know, that it’s gonna come to a head. I didn’t feel when I watched it that it ever lacked punch. It had such clarity and such patience that made it really beautiful.

DS: And I don’t know if we can say the C-word on podcasts… cannibalism?

[laughter]

DK: Yes, that one we can.

SH: Yes.

DS: Oh, ok. You know there was a--if Hickey hadn’t already divided the troop into his people, the anointed, and then Crozier’s group, it would have happened anyway because of the cannibalism. And when you think about it, think of that rugby team or soccer team or whatever that crashed in the Andes. They went back into society. They were cannibals, they admitted it, they got a book deal. And so, presumably, even in England, these people would have been forgiven, or they would have kept it secret like some do. So cannibalism, what it did in this show, I think, divides the people. I didn’t see, until he was forced to imbibe in cannibalism, I didn't see Crozier even considering it. And so that fascinates me, just how far people will go to survive.

[show audio]

[tense music, tent canvas flapping in the wind]

EC: I’ll give you some advice. Don’t indulge your morals over your practicals. Not now. Don’t you also wanna live?

SH: Dave, we talked a lot about this, is when you’re in that moment, you’re not Dave Kajganich and I’m not Soo Hugh, in that moment, choosing whether or not we decide to eat someone. Something else will take over, whether it is the Goodsir in us or whether it is the Hickey in us, in that moment. I think that’s why when we shot that scene, you know, after Gibson is cut up, Adam, remember when we shot the reaction shots from each one of you eating your first bite of human flesh meat, and we took so much footage, we shot so much. We shot, you know, closes, mediums, just because Dave and I, you know, at that point, we were very confident of how to shoot everything, that was probably the moment when we were like ugh.

DK: Well we wanted to know how little we could get away with, and what we found, of course, which is typical for the show, the performances were so terrific, that we didn’t need very much. And I remember on the mix stage, the first mix that they did of the show, of that episode, I mean, there was quite a lot of chewing.

[laughter]

And so when I said, no no no, let’s pull all of that out, and use the most minute changes in expression, because all of you at that table were so well in character, that even the slightest muscle movement on your face communicated everything we needed you to. And we were obviously very interested in not overplaying that scene, knowing that audiences had been waiting for it, wondering how, in what kind of taste we would show it, you know, how we would modulate it, and you know a rule throughout the show was to try to present everything with its most practical face, including this. And so, you know, hopefully when that lands for people it will be both satisfying in the sense that they will understand how these characters made that decision but it won’t feel that we have over-articulated it, somehow.

DS: I’m not religious, but I’m obsessed with religion, and in your story, the way you structured it, you have, in a sense, we’ve already talked, or at least I have, about how Hickey seems to be evolving towards Messiahdom, I think he near the end he thinks he is the Messiah, but it’s Goodsir who provides The Last Supper. How much more powerful a story of Christ is there, than, you know, “Take, eat,” and it’s yourself? And it’s fascinating to me that the man who dedicated his life to helping people and curing people and being empathic at their ending, his last act is to kill as many of Hickey’s people as possible. And, you know, so there’s--that’s where the trial was, it wasn’t when Hickey was gonna be hanged, it was inside Dr. Goodsir when he decided that “These people need to end and I will do it.”

SH: So should we talk about the big scene at the end--well, it’s not the end, it’s the Tuunbaq sequence in 1.10?

DK: To set it up, Adam, you know, Hickey--we’ll keep calling him Hickey even though we’ve established he isn’t--you get an important piece of information in episode nine where Tozer, Sergeant Tozer, relays to you a piece of information that he hasn’t shared with anyone, that he watched Collins be killed and he watched Collins’s soul be pulled out of his body. And, you know, for Hickey, suddenly a lot of things make sense. What happened to Private Heather, who was alive for many episodes but no longer sort of present in his body, I mean you even have a scene where you poke his brain hoping to get some kind of reaction out of him, and you take that piece of information and you suddenly realize you’re not longer in a kind of survival story, you’re in kind of a spiritual story, you’re in kind of a mythological story, suddenly. Can you talk about how you decided to play that so it was sort of clear to an audience what that opportunity was? Because we did not devote a lot of dialogue to it, it was going to have to be something an audience felt as much as was described to them.

AN: I can only describe the way that it--the process--the mind of it, that, you know, you see Hickey has a plan, up until that point, he’s started--the way that I thought about it was that, you know, once he starts to hear things, he starts to have this space of this area, creates this space in his mind and he understands the things that have come before him and his curiosity leads him to, you know--one element in him is still practically engaged in survival, and outmaneuvering the captain, and heading south, and coming up with a plan and, you know, a story as to what happened, but then there are other elements of, you know, consuming human flesh, that there might be an answer there, it might be an enlightening experience. And if it’s not in that, is it something else? And he finds the hill, and he understands when he sees that hill, that he hears something, and then he’s not quite clear on what it is, what’s drawing him, and what’s talking to him, and what he’s feeling, but he’s becoming one with this realm, and, you know, he starts to, once he discovers the supernatural element--not that he hasn’t already established that there is one, but the fact that it’s such a specific--he’s been developing his knowledge of the summoning song that Lady Silence sings to become a Shaman, you know, the rules of this particular realm, this empire. And he’s been gathering this information as we go along, all the way through the series he’s been taking pieces of information, and he pockets it and learns and keeps it for later.

[show audio]

[mysterious music]

Hickey: Tuunbaq… a spirit that dresses as an animal, and yet we shot it with a cannon and drew blood. How do you reconcile that?

Crozier: I can’t. There’s much about this voyage I can’t reconcile.

Hickey: What mythology is this creature at the center of?

Crozier: About the creature I have no answers, Mr. Hickey. We were not meant to know of it.

AN: And when he gets this key piece of the puzzle, that the Tuunbaq is taking souls, and that... there’s a hierarchy of what the Tuunbaq wants to eat. You know, a captain, and important people, he realizes that he really is the center of this universe. I suppose the way that I adjusted it was that everybody else became irrelevant. Completely irrelevant. I no longer needed to worry about manipulation, control, fear. Everything was gonna sing for me, everything was gonna work as if I had magic hands, and my voice just dictated what the universe would do.

[show audio]

[mysterious music continued]

Hickey: I didn’t have anywhere near an equal on this expedition. But you. I wanted to thank you for that. On the eve of what is quite an important day.

AN: Every single conversation was an annoyance because it was getting in the way of me listening to the universe, this world, this empire, this realm that was now speaking to me. And I was talking to the Tuunbaq, you know, from this distance, and we had this dance going, and everything that happened was just getting in my way. It was all gonna work itself out because I’ve been chosen to ascend, to reach this ascension, to, you know, ride the Tuunbaq into my new empire, to take my new throne, and I was finally gonna be given the answers to these questions that I’d been asking.

[show audio]

[rushing wind, men singing weakly in the background, creaking]

Hickey (shouting): Bugger Nelson! Bugger Jesus! Bugger Joseph and Mary! Bugger the Archbishop of Canterbury! None ever wanted nothing from me!

SH: When you offer the Tuunbaq the tongue, and there’s that pause, what’s gonna happen, and he bites your arm off instead, and that look on your face of just, you know, “You too have failed me.”

DS: Et tu?

[laughter]

“Et tu, Tuunbaq?”

[laughter]

AN: “Et tu, Tuunbaq,” that’s a great T-shirt. But that scene, I drifted, but that scene in particular, is a slight difference to what his plan was, which was to climb the hill, sacrifice the men, sacrifice the tongue, and to become one with the Tuunbaq and to take my place on the throne in this new realm. And to find the answers and maybe, you know, climb through to a different realm, or who knows what. This empire was now my empire, which was the culmination of all of Hickey through his entire life has been leading to this point, and he’s quietened himself enough to hear it, and then suddenly he gets sick, because somebody poisons him. And so it’s a slightly different feeling, as he’s climbing the hill, and it’s a different--something else is happening inside him. He’s still perfectly capable of executing his plan, he gets carried away in that scene, and then by the time the Tuunbaq appears, he kind of focuses again, and becomes very excited. It’s a relationship with the Tuunbaq, it’s a dance, that everything is for him and the Tuunbaq. Everyone else is irrelevant.

[show audio]

[Tuunbaq snuffling, boat chain clanking]

[the Tuunbaq roars, sound of chomping flesh, then the screeching sound of the soul being eaten]

SH: And what he gets so wrong about the Tuunbaq, and I think what a lot of the Western characters in our show get wrong about the Tuunbaq, is that the Tuunbaq is not a deity, the Tuunbaq doesn’t ask to be a god, right? All it is is just this arbiter of what is good or what is not good for the land, you know, there’s no sense of the Tuunbaq wanting to be the ultimate creative force here, and I think that’s where Hickey was wrong, right?

AN: I think he sees it as a supernatural creature, and again, because everything comes through him, and the universe revolves around him, that it’s a challenge for him, it’s a question for him, and he deals a lot in questions as opposed to answers, and what his position is in the universe, and by the time he meets this creature that eats souls--and the creature’s sick, and it’s because he hasn’t united with it yet! It’s because of me that it’s sick, it hasn’t, I haven’t been in contact with it, and we haven’t united ourselves and taken over this empire, and he doesn’t see it for what it is. SH: And when you guys see the Tuunbaq’s death in the very end of that sequence, how did you guys feel?

DS: Speaking for the novelist here, I was surprised; and then I got through the surprise and thought yeah. And then I immediately wondered how Lady Silence would have to pay for this death, ‘cause you’d already shown me that she’s in charge of protecting the Tuunbaq, so it was controlling it in some way, and she wasn’t really up to the task, so I liked that in going, when Crozier’s with the Inuit band, learning that she’s been punished and sent out by herself. But the Tuunbaq’s death itself just seemed right at that time.

[show audio]

[Tuunbaq’s death scene--growling noises, boat chain clinking, Crozier struggling]

AN: It was a horrible thing to watch, as a viewer, it was so sad, and it spoke to me of this sort of contemporary sort of--to me it was sort of a global warming issue, not to bring it ‘round, but it was sort of like, that’s it, they’ve killed it.

SH: No, absolutely, yeah!

AN: They’ve killed it, they’ve killed the Tuunbaq and we’re actually rejoicing at Crozier’s survival. But really, the man deserves death, with the creature that creates balance to this culture should be alive. And we have this upside down world that we are celebrating, which is so, you know, intelligent of you guys to create, and it’s difficult to take, but that creature is gone, and so balance is gone, and here we are.

DK: The very specific and subtle thing that we put in the show that probably no will decode it ‘til they hear this podcast, but was important to us as a structural element, was Sir John dies, when he’s killed down the fire hole in episode three, he has some flashes of subjective kinds of hallucinations, I suppose, or visions, I don’t know what you would call them. But one of them is of open water, it’s just a vista of the future of the Arctic, that there are going to be these, you know, that there’s going to be a huge melt, and there’s going to be all this open water. And for the final shot we tried to match, as much as we could, the angle, so that all of that frozen water that Crozier is sitting on at that seal hole would maybe possibly evoke that memory, to speak to what you’re saying, Adam, which is that this whole thing is a kind of, from the Netsilik’s point of view, it’s a huge tragedy in which these Europeans are the terrors, in a way. And not to be too reductive about it, but, you know, we wanted the season to have that kind of change of polarity, which is one reason why we couldn’t quite use the sort of the ending of the book, as much as we loved it, Dan, it felt like a lot of things that would feel--that would pull the point of view of the season across that line too much and too late. We wanted to try to modulate it a little bit so that every episode felt like you were giving some room in your point of view for Lady Silence’s perspective, or the Inuit’s perspective, and that that change would sort of happen so slowly you might not even notice that it was happening at all, which is one reason why we made that decision.

DS: You gave every character I saw room to have his or her own apotheosis, which is a big theme with you guys, I meant, the arcs end and people becoming someone else. Crozier grows into his leadership, I think, beautifully. Maybe he deserved punishment, but I found Crozier and his empathy, as Fitzjames is dying in the boat, it’s Crozier that touches him and lets him know, you know, through physical contact, that he’s not alone. And giving them room is unusual. I just find there’s so many unusual elements to what you three have created, that, I have to warn you, I think it deserves a lot of intelligent attention.

DK: Well I hope we can volley a lot of those right back to the book, Dan. Well we should take some time at the end to--given that after the sequence, this really becomes almost a kind of silent film to deliver the ending to Crozier’s arc--to really sing the praises of Jared Harris in this show, I mean, what he did with this role is remarkable. So, Dan, I would love to know what you thought of Jared Harris’s Francis Crozier?

DS: After watching the ten episodes of him and all those, and watching what he did with it, I just wanted him to adopt me.

[laughter]

SH: He would love that!

DS: But it certainly--leading is the operative word, isn’t it? He just, he didn’t give 100 or 1000 percent, he gave more than that to the character. He became Crozier for me. I’m the one who had to dream up the man, and see what he looked like, and write about him for about 1100 pages, 700 finally in type, and so I had my Crozier, he was pretty solid. But now Jared Harris is Crozier. There’s no doubt in my mind.

DK: The ending of the season is quite different from the ending of the book, Dan, how did you feel watching the ending of the show, and, in all candor, do you feel that it was satisfying? Do you feel that it was at least a good companion piece for the ending of the book?

DS: Well I’m glad I didn't video record my reaction the first time I saw the different ending, because speaking for two million readers I stood up and shouted, “What's wrong with my ending!”

[laughter]

“Is it chopped liver?” And I realized it would be. I realized that I don’t think you could have taken my ending and made it a sensible finale visually in the way it went. So I tracked--the whole episodes, the last two episodes, were enlightenment to me, because I’m just a viewer now, I’m watching something I didn’t create, these are not my ideas, so I sat back and enjoyed it, as horrible as they were. So when I watch your ending, the only thing I was bothered by was I’m sentimental. And the real Crozier, I believe, and certainly the fictional Crozier that we’ve all created, was so lonely, he was so alone in life, I think he was less alone than Crozier was, and, you know, rejected by Franklin’s niece several times from marriage, a life where he really felt rejection, probably more than Hickey did, and at the end I wanted him to be with someone. So as much as I liked your ending and I really thought it was proper and appropriate for the series, I woulda put a person next to him as he’s fishing out there in, you know, in his Inuit outfit at night waiting by a seal--he’s not fishing, he’s waiting by a seal breathing hole to kill it. So if I’d seen a glimpse of two of them, you wouldn’t even need to see their faces, you know, the sentimental side of me woulda been happy.

SH: But we leave that ambiguous in the ending, in terms of he’s not with Lady Silence, she, you know, had to pay the bill in some ways for the loss of the Tuunbaq and her destiny is to venture forth alone, and in some ways her storyline is the most tragic of all the characters in our show because, I mean, the price she paid is so harsh. But in terms of the last shot, which Dave and I just knew from pretty early on that was gonna be our last shot, and it felt right. We don’t know much about Crozier’s biography, you know? For all we know that child could be his, it may not. We actually didn’t want to fill in too much of the coloring book at that point. It’s up to the audience to describe whether or not that last shot is--it’s interesting ‘cause we had this big argument, lovely argument in the color suite, the grading suite, of how we grade that last shot. Whether we grade it bright and sunny to be optimistic, or we grade it with a lot of contrast and stamp down a lot of the light to make it seem that, you know, there’s a sense--a harshness, to this reality. And in some ways we split the middle, so the audience can decide whether or not the life Crozier has at the end is one of punishment, reckoning, or whether or not he will move on and have something different.

DK: And I think something in that final shot that certainly we couldn’t have planned, that tipped things in a warmer direction was the child that plays that boy in the shot, who’s meant to be sleeping against Crozier as he’s waiting at the seal hole, really fell asleep because he was wrapped up in fur, and Jared’s a very welcoming person, and he fell asleep. And in the middle of that shot he twitches in his sleep, like children do. And I think that if you catch that it’s quite undeniably a warm moment. You don’t know whether that’s Crozier’s son, whether that’s just a friend’s son, someone he’s taking care of, but you do get a sense that there is a community and that it’s a warm one, even though that life will be difficult and he will occupy no position of leadership in that world, he will be--you know, he’s missing a hand at that point, it’s going to be a rough rough road ahead of him, but we decided to sort of be as ambiguous as we could but for that child who twitches in his sleep, which we just loved that, that that’s a part of that final shot of the show.

DS: Now you’ve made me wanna go back watch that scene about ten times. I think you did at the ending essentially what you chose to do throughout the series, which is to trust in the intelligence and the sensibilities of the audience. So in that sense I like it a lot, but I admire it too. It just, I’m just sentimental, I just want Crozier finally to find somebody.

[show audio]

[”The Gates of Paradise” by Robert Fripp, which is the music from that aforementioned final scene of Crozier and the little boy asleep at the seal hole, plays]

SH: And with episode ten, the story of the Franklin Expedition on AMC is completed. And Dave, you’ve been working on this project now for ten or twelve years, I’ve been on it for two and a half years, Adam you’ve been on this journey for a long time, Dan you’ve probably been--how long has it been for you?

DS: Oh, since about 1994!

SH: Yeah, wow. I mean, what is it about this story that means it’s hard to let go? Even now I feel like there’s a grieving process that I feel like I have.

DS: I know why it’s hard to let go. You created real people, you did something that is incredibly rare I think, for any media, movies, series, anything. They’re real people, and when they suffer the viewer suffers with them. When they try to fight back and survive, that’s the viewer’s impression, and we’re sorry to see each one of them go, including Hickey. So, I think there’s a success in what you set out to do.

SH: We’re just so thrilled that, you know, you gave us the trust to do your book but also that you love it! We were so nervous that you would hate this adaptation!

[laughter]

DK: Well and now what’s amazing is we all get to sort of take a seat in the theater of real history playing out again, now that they’ve discovered the ships. You know, we’ve been told by Parks Canada and by people we’ve met who are actively on the archeological expeditions now, dives to the ships, that there is a chance that they will find a ship’s log, and that all of the questions that have come up and perplexed us and preoccupied us and fascinated us in the researching of both the writing of the novel and the creating of the television show, that those questions may have answers soon. And so now we are all now back in that position of being riveted by this actual history. And what a treat it will be to have a conversation in a year when we have learned hopefully much more about what actually happened on this expedition.

[“The Gates of Paradise” begins playing again softly in the background]

DS: If I were on the expedition ship and found the log, the diaries, everything, I would hide them.

[laughter]

DK: Agreed.

AN: Yep, absolutely.

DS: I mean we’ve all done a lot of work here, who cares about reality?

[laughter]

DK: Well thank you, Adam, thank you Dan, for joining us, Soo and I have had a fantastic time having this extended conversation that hopefully is interesting to people who have watched and appreciated the show. So thank you for the opportunity to do it, it’s been fantastic to talk to you both, and onwards we go, into the future!

SH: Onwards ho!

DS: Onward.

AN: Onward. Thank you so much guys, it’s been a pleasure.

DK: Thank you, and thank you for everyone who’ve watched the show and thank you for everyone who’ve read the novel, and we can’t wait to hear your feedback!

[“The Gates of Paradise” fades out]

#the terror #the terror amc #dave kajganich #soo hugh #dan simmons #adam nagaitis #the minds behind the terror #personal #aaah the last one! we're finished!#as always lmk if you catch any mistakes and google docs link will be in the reblogs #this has been a great project and i hope this was helpful for you guys!#<3

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wish-that-i-was-buckys-girl · 3 years

Text

Teacher’s Pet

Hello again everyone! This is the first fan fiction of the pop song prompt series. This song is based off of Melanie Martinez’s song “Teacher’s Pet.” This story follows the story similar to that discussed in the song. I liked the idea of doing this one, cause it seemed like something Lance would do. Also, Lance is softer here, less of an asshole to the reader outright, but you’ll see why he actually is one in the end.

Summary: You were Lance’s favorite student, but after one night you became much more. What could go wrong?

Warnings: Smut, Dirty Talk, Cheating, Jealousy, losing virginity, Dom/Sub undertones.

A/N: As usual, if I missed any warnings just let me know and I will happily add them! Also, as I have no one to proofread, if there are mistakes, just message me and let me know. I hope you enjoy!

(Not my gif)

You were Lance’s star pupil. You had been working with him for six years, 3 years as a student, 3 years as a student/assistant. You were 17 when you joined, hoping to get a spot on the Olympic team with Lance’s training. You did, of course, but that wasn’t the only special treatment you received from Lance’s gym.

First it started with side glances when you were about 19. You would catch him staring at you when he was working with other girls, letting his hand linger a little bit longer than normal when he was trying to fix your posture. At first you just figured it was all coincidence. Lance wouldn’t be interested in you. There were a million other girls he works with that he would probably sleep with faster than he would sleep with you. It’s not like you would object to sleeping with Lance, you knew of his reputation, but you just knew you weren’t his “type.”

Side glances turned into him watching all of your routines while he was working with other girls, lacking any kind of subtlety in the process. Lingering hands turned into full on grabbing of flesh and accidental brushes against your breasts and ass. You didn’t understand what was going on, so you confided in your friends.

“He totally has a thing for you” Tara said. “There’s no way he doesn’t. Do you have a gut feeling? You know when women get that gut feeling we are right every time. You can practically feel the sexual tension.”

“I understand what you’re saying Tara, but why me? You see the girls I compete with.”

“Men are men, Y/N. When they like a woman, they’ll go after her even if they don’t fit their “type.” Just take it as a compliment. I don’t think anything will come of it anyways. Just enjoy the extra attention.”

And Tara was right. Nothing did come of it. Well, nothing did at first. It was months later that something started to bloom before you even had a chance to watch it sprout.

You were in the locker room after practice one day, getting dressed after your shower. You thought you were alone since you had a private practice that day. Again, you thought you were until you heard footsteps coming from the gym. Lance appeared behind you.

“Good work today Y/L/N. You’re getting better on the silk ropes. You didn’t have much core strength when you got here, I can see you improving a lot” he said leaning against a locker with a smirk.

“Thanks, Lance. I can see you’re improving too” you said jokingly.

You and Lance had also been friends for a while now. You never really hung out outside of the gym, but when you were together the chemistry was undeniable. That didn’t stop you from denying it.

Lance laughed in return. “You have so much fire in you. I don’t understand why you don’t apply it to the rounds. You could rank higher if you just let a little bit of that out.”

“Lance you know I have the energy of a an 87 year old woman. I’m lazy.” You said throwing a peace sign up to make the conversation more comedic.

“You can’t be lazy if you wanna be a gold medalist like me.”

“I’m more a silver girl myself.”

Lance bit his lip. “Really Y/N. I want to see you reach your fullest potential.”

“I’d say you’re helping me enough Lance. Private lessons, regular lessons, then weight training.”

“Well, maybe I can help you loosen up a bit” he said leaning into you.

“And how would you do that?” You said in a nervous whisper.

“Come to my office and I’ll show you.”

He took your hand and his and led you back out to the gym area where his office was. It was unlocked since he hadn’t left for the night. He walked in and turned on a lamp, not wanting to turn on the big light in case any custodians had come for their shift early, drawing attention to you and him.

“Lance, what the hell are we doing in here? Do you need to show me a new routine or something?” You tried playing dumb. Your mind couldn’t comprehend what was actually going on.

“Come on Y/N, you know what happening here.”

“I really don’t, Lance.”

“Do I have to show you?”

“Yes!”

He strutted over to you and shoved you up against the door to his office. He held his hand on the back of your head so you wouldn’t hurt yourself by his shove.

He stood over you, lips lingering close.

“I’ve wanted you for so long, I’ve been waiting and waiting for the right moment. Waiting for you to stare right back at me. Waiting for you to try and touch me. You’re stubborn, I’ll give you that. I think it’s time I show you how to unwind.”

You couldn’t do anything but breathe in response. You finally got the courage to speak.

“What did you have in mind?”

“Lay down on my desk.”

You walked over to the desk and sat down on it, afraid to lay all the way down as he instructed. He caressed your hair and put a strand of it behind your ear. He took his hand and placed it on the small of your back. He put the other on your waist, and laid you down gently. He slowly took your clean leggings off, looking up at you with a lust filled stare. Your mind was racing, not knowing what to think or do. You never thought you’d get to this point.

You laid your head back and stared at the ceiling, nervous about the things are about to ensue.

“Baby... have you been touched yet?”

You swallowed and shook your head. You thought Lance would make fun of your inexperience.

“Oh, sweetie, you’re with an advanced man. I’ll be sure to take care of you real good. Can I touch you?”

You nodded.

“This is all about you, I need you to be comfortable and communicate with me for everything, got that?”

“Yes, Lance.”

“You can call me sir, baby.”

“Yes, sir.”

He slowly brought his hand to your wetness, finding your clit immediately, making you moan softly. It was involuntary, that’s for sure.

“Oh you’re such a sweet little thing aren’t you? You like when I touch you like this?” He asks rubbing your clit slowly.

“Yes I do sir” you say in a breathy moan.

“Good girl, you gonna be a good girl for me the whole time?”

You nodded.

“Use your words baby.”

“I’ll be a good girl, sir. I promise.”

“Look at you, looking all pretty for me.” He inserted two fingers inside of you, smiling as your face contorted in absolute pleasure. He continued playing with your clit with his other hand.

“Oh god that feel so good, please keep going...” your back arching slightly as you moan.

He smiles, leaning down to put his mouth around your clit as he continues to finger you.

He lightly sucks on your nub, picking up the pace of his fingers. You could feel your eyes roll in the back of your head as he sucked.

You grabbed his gelled hair, surprisingly he didn’t yell at you, he continued to finger and suck as you reached your first climax. You could feel it coming, slowly building. You sat up and grabbed his hair as hard as you could, moaning his name as loud as you could. You both hoped the custodians weren’t there yet.

“Yes Lance! Oh god oh fuck! I’m coming!”

He lapped up all your juices, happy to lick up every last drop.

He came up after you came down from your high, going in for a deep kiss.

You sucked on each other’s lips, nibbling every so often. You continued until you felt like your lips had gone numb. As you pulled away from one another, you smiled.

“You were such a good girl for me. Do you think you can continue to do that?”

You smile and nod “I’ll be a good girl.”

“That’s good baby, I know you’ll be my good girl.”

He takes his cock out of his tight sweatpants. You nervously look at it. His size is definitely intimidating, especially for someone like you who has no experience.

He strokes it, making it grow even larger.

“You ready sweetheart?”

“Mhm, yes I am sir.”

He slowly climbs on top of you, his tip brushing your lower lips slightly as you both get situated.

He slid in gently, pushing enough to make you gasp in both pain and pleasure.

“That’s it baby, you think you can take it all?”

You nod with gritted teeth and closed eyes. You wanted to do it for him.

He pushed in all the way, bottoming out in you pussy. A tear rolled down your cheek from the pain. Lance wiped it away with his thumb, slowly starting to go in and out of you.

You grunted every time he filled you up entirely. Lance wanted to go faster, but he wanted to wait for your permission first. Fuck if it wasn’t hard for him to contain himself though.

You continued to moan. He just felt so good inside of you. You never knew this is what sex could feel like. You felt warm and whole. It felt right.

“Go faster, Lance.”

“You sure angel?”

“Yes! Yes I’m sure!”

“Don’t gotta tell me again.” He rapidly picked up his pace, slamming into you. With every slam you would let out a guttural moan you couldn’t contain.

“Fuck fuck fuck! Oh god keep going!”

“You feel so good and tight around my cock baby.”

“God Lance fuck me harder!”

He goes full speed, absolutely wrecking your body. You never knew your body could handle anything like this.

“Yeah baby you like that? You like when I fill you up?”

“Yes, yes, oh god Lance please keep fucking me!”

Your body began to get the same feeling it did just moments ago when Lance’s head was between your legs.

“Lance I’m gonna come again! Oh god oh fuck!”

Lance hadn’t noticed that you stopped calling him sir. You hadn’t either, both absolutely engulfed in making love to each other. Lance might call it fucking, you call it love making, because it felt like love making. Even though it wasn’t an extravagant night, and you were fucking on his desk in his office, this was an out of world experience.

“Come around my cock baby, I wanna feel you come all over me.”

He didn’t have to say it twice. Before you knew it, you were coming all over him.

“Oh god!”

“I got you baby, don’t worry, I got you” Lance said slowing his pace down. In no time, Lance was pulling out to come all over your stomach.

You both sat in silence, hearing nothing but heavy breathing.

You sat up a little to see Lance smiling.

“What is it?”

“Oh nothin’. Just wanted this for a long time. It was even better than I expected, especially with you being a virgin.”

“You like that I’m a virgin? Well, was.”

“Of course, angel, I broke your innocence. Now I’ll always know that I was your first. God that’s gonna make me so hard at practice when I think about it.”

You sat up all the way after Lance cleaned your stomach off with a towel. You put your clothes on and grabbed your bag to head home.

“Thanks, uh, thanks for this coach.”

“Same time tomorrow, angel?”

“... what?”

“Oh c’mon. You didn’t think this would be a one-time deal did you?”

“I... I really didn’t know what to think. I didn’t know you’d want me more than once.”

Lance rolled his eyes playfully “I know I can be an asshole baby, but I won’t treat you like that. You’re my girl. My good girl.”

______________________________________

From that day forward, you had been given the title “assistant” as well as student. You had worked closely with Lance, both during and after practice. You had fucked like rabbits for months, only meeting at your place and fucking in his office really. You had no idea why he wouldn’t take you to his place.

Was it dirty? Was he embarrassed where he lived?

You brushed it off, figuring it was nothing.

That was until one day at the gym your whole perspective had changed.

You walked in in your outfit like any other day, ready to get the girls started on their routine. Lance hadn’t arrived at the gym yet, but that was normal on Tuesdays.

Just as you had gotten all of the girls started on their routines you saw Lance walk in. Your face immediately lit up. That was until you saw a woman and a baby come in behind him.

“Lance! I need the keys to the van! I have to get Gabby to the daycare!”

“Maggie just calm down! They’re in my office! Fucking relax!”

Maybe it was his sister. Maybe it was his cousin? A roommate who was struggling to get by on her own? Your mind was full of thoughts, not realizing the actual truth of the situation.

Maggie followed him into his office and grabbed the keys from his hand. After, she gave him a deep kiss on the mouth.

“God, I hate you, but you’re just so damn cute I can’t stand to stay angry. Love you honey. See you after work!”

You felt like crying. No, you felt like throwing up. You felt like you could do both at the same damn time. How could he do this to you? How could he have a wife and child and still have the nerve to sleep with you and call you his “girl.” You froze in the middle of the gym, immediately turning around to avert Lance’s gaze. You knew he was going to look and see if you noticed what had happened just moments ago.

Some hot tears streamed down your face, but you chose to quickly wipe them away and turn around to face him.

He strutted up to you, almost nervous, like you were going to cause a scene in front of all of the girls. Instead, you turned and smiled at him.

“Hey, how come you were late?” Playing dumb.

Lance seemed dumbfounded. How could you not have noticed what happened? Nonetheless, he played dumb as well. “Uhhh.... I uhm. My car wouldn’t start.”

“Well, that’s just silly, you know if your car won’t start you can call me, right?”

“I uhm, I know. I just didn’t, I didn’t want to bother you.”

“You could never bother me.”

Before Lance approached you, you decided to roll with the punches. Of course, it hurt that he had a wife and kid. Of course, it hurt that you weren’t his wife, or girlfriend at that, but this is the closest thing you’ve ever experienced that emulated love. You weren’t going to give that up, not even for decent morals.

As the years went on you and Lance continued your nightly escapes and sneaking around behind his wife’s back. You felt good, though. He chose to spend time with you over his family. At the end of the days, however, your jealousy never subsided. You always knew you wouldn’t be the one he would sleep next to at night. You would never truly be “his girl.”

#Lance Tucker #lance tucker x reader #lance tucker x you #sebastian stan #sebastian stan characters

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kickingitwithkirk · 3 years

Text

Greetings from Austin pt. III

Pairing: Alpha!Jensen Ackles x Alpha!Jared Padalecki x Omega!OFC

Summary: Jensen and Jared are at odds over a monumental decision that changes their lives in a way they couldn’t have envisioned.

WC: 3825

Warnings: a/b/o, bisexuality, biphobia, homophobia, angst, cursing, self doubt, depression/anxiety, married life/disagreements, medical stuff, sexual dysfunction, infertility/surrogacy

*flirting, m/m oral sex, Jensen’s insecurities are coming out, Jared gets arrested, both get counseling

A/N: This part consists of several time jumps over four month period.

A/N II: Hey, sorry took me a way longer to get done than planned, rewrote Oct 23 a dozen times alone and hoping makes sense, trying to flesh out characters more and has some stuff that plays into story line in later parts.

Part II

Masterlist

@winchesterandbeyondbingo square filled-Jensen Ackles

*Series Inspired by this art.

*no beta-all mistakes are mine

September 8th

7:30 am

Jensen was sitting in the makeup chair clenching his extra strong coffee container to help warm his hands. He’d spent a second, uncomfortable night in his trailer on location as Vancouver was having an unusual cold snap this time of year and with the covid restrictions the director decided that everyone needed to stay on site.

While he wasn’t happy about the weather, missing his own personal heater but at the same time grateful for a brief break from Jared now that they were heading towards the next phase of starting their family.

Jensen jokingly said they needed a code name since they were planning on keeping their plans a secret, even from their families, until the pups were born, playfully suggesting a cartoon from their childhoods.

Of course with Jared’s weird sense of humor, he loved it and started throwing ideas like operation: pound puppies.

“Penny for your thoughts.” Frieda said as she applied a concealer under his eyes to hide the dark smudges from not sleeping well.

“Huh?”

“You asked about my new job and haven’t heard anything I’ve said, wanna talk about it?”

“Sorry, not focusing very well today.”

“Yeah, we’re all feeling out of sorts with this being the last couple days.”

Jensen couldn’t believe he was down to his last two days of filming.

“Too bad this virus messed everything up, it would’ve been a hell of a send off if everybody could have been here.”

Alex and Misha had left right after they’d finished but Jim Beaver was back for the ending. It was only right for Bobby Singer to be there at the end, having been such a pivotal character in the brothers lives.

Frieda continues chatting about random things while finishing his makeup. A PA stuck his head in calling Jensen to the set. He stepped out of the trailer and smiled seeing his Baby sitting near the building being used as the exterior of Harvelle's Roadhouse.

***

September 12th

“Jen, I’m taking out the bags,” Jared calls out seconds before the apartment's front door shut.

Jensen was doing one last check around the place for any forgotten anything. Satisfied, he walked into the living room containing neatly marked boxes ready to be shipped back to Texas, relieved they had downsized from the big house Jared had years ago.

He stopped to gaze out the picture window when a pair of strong arms wrapped around his waist, molding his back to the muscular chest of his mate, who rested his chin on his shoulder quietly saying, “I’m gonna miss this view.” Jensen hummed in agreement tipping his head back as Jared nuzzled his neck.

“We need to get going if we’re gonna make Seattle by seven,” Jared softly muttered as they’d stood there for a few heartbeats longer before releasing him. They walked to the door and Jensen turned once more to gaze out the window at the view of Vancouver.

***

September 21st

“This has been a great trip but man, I’ll be glad to be in our own bed tonight.” Jared remarks as they drive past a green highway sign saying Austin 312.

“Can’t wait,” Jensen drowsily says having not slept much the last couple days. They had decided to road trip it back to Texas, stopping at a few places they had wanted to visit for awhile.

Jared somehow managed to finagal, okay so his mind numbing blow job combined with those lethal long fingers that always makes Jensen agree to anything got him a couple extra days in southern Colorado.

Jensen enjoyed the beautiful scenery and hiking in the mountains but hated camping out. Well, it wasn’t technically roughing it the way Jared liked but still.. a frigging yurt in late September?

Oy vay, what he did for love.

The sound of Jared singing along to some classic country song on the radio as he drove finally put Jensen completely out.

***

October 23rd

Turning from the open fridge with a puzzled expression on his face, Jared senses the same vague something he’s felt God knows how many times in the last couple months.

Shutting the door he walked over to the island counter where his husband was seated pushing his unfinished dinner around on his plate.

“Jen, what’s going on? Are you worried about the implantation? Dr. Rodgers said the embryos were healthy and optimistic the surrogate took this first try.”

What Jensen wants to ask, the question that’s plagued him since that day in August choosing their Omega surrogate...how the hell does he phrase it without upsetting Jared?

“Did you choose her because you knew she’d be the one I’d pick?”

Jensen slapped his hand over his mouth, eyes wide, disbelieving he blurted it out.

Jared worked to find a response squeaking an actual squeak before he could get control over his vocals, “That’s what I’ve been sensing!” Gripping the edge of the counter with his big hands, “Are you seriously going there again? I was honest about our interactions when I realized she was the one I knocked down at the clinic and FYI, you weren’t exactly in full control either Alpha!”

Jensen clenched his teeth at being reminded his inner need to be in control at all times slipped.

“I’ve racked my brains trying to figure it out how to ask something like that without upsetting you!” Jensen yells getting up and pacing around the kitchen.

Jared huffed, “So all this time instead of talking to me, you’ve conjured up some..”

“For the last two years I’ve gotten the sense you feel somethings missing, kept telling myself it’s your unfulfilled biology. But ever since you meet that Omega you’ve been.. I can’t explain it and now I’m second guessing our marriage Ja....” his rant abruptly cut off.

Jared’s eyes were glowing red, pinning him with an eerie wolf expression, the intensity disconcerting him. “I chose you, my husband, my soulmate, my everything!“ The words should have been reassuring but Jared’s voice was pitiless, something Jensen's never heard pass from his lips before.

Jared took a deep breath and with normalcy returning said, “I love you Jensen and I thought you understood, for me, in my mind, both of us having pups with the same donor means my offspring won’t be seen as just step relations but will grow up having strong familial ties with JJ, Arrow and Zeppelin.”

Jensen started to speak when a low, reverberating growl from Jared warning him not to interrupt.

“I consciously listened to my inner wolf when it came to choosing the person who is biologically the Om of our children and I,” Jared emphasizes tapping his chest with his long index finger, ”have no regrets but apparently you do.” Taking a deep breath Jared drops a non sequitur, ”The dogs need to be fed,” and walks away.

At the sound of Jared’s SUV leaving Jensen’s legs gave out and he drops to the floor curling up in a fetal position wrapping his arms over his head. Arlo and Koda laid down, one on each side, cocooning him between them.

***

Thanksgiving

“The kids are in a tryptophan coma,” Jensen announces as he walks in through the kitchen's back door. He had followed Danneel home afterwards helping get JJ and the twins cleaned up and put to bed, “they’ll be out till Monday.”

“Good, cause I’m dead on my feet,” Jared replies yawning while loading the dishwasher. It had been their turn to host the holiday with Danneel, the kids, Clif, Jared’s siblings and their broods.

“I told you to wait and I’d help finish the cleanup when I got back.” Jensen said as Jared started the machine.

“I figured you’d wanna stay awhile and be too tired and I didn’t want to deal with it tomorrow. All that’s left is to put the trash and recycling out, could you grab it?”

“On it,” Jensen picked up the bags walking around the side of the house dropping them into their designated receptacles.

When he came back in Jared was switching off the lights downstairs. They made their way up to the bedroom taking turns in the bath getting ready for bed.

Jensen was sitting with his back against the headboard checking his messages when Jared drops heavily next to him, “I plan on sleeping for the next three days.” He mutters resting his head against Jensen’s shoulder.

“Sounds good to me babe, I’m glad we didn’t schedule anything extra this weekend, be nice to spend some time alone.” He finishes wiggling his eyebrows.

“Hmm, do you remember last year's Thanksgiving?”

Jared closed the kitchen pantries door, pushing Jensen against it seductively lowering his fox slanted eyes huskily whispering, “I’m so fucking horny I need my dick you now.”

“Dude, we’re re in my sisters...“

“..you’ll have to be quiet,” Jared dove in for a deep, dirty kiss, grinding against Jensen until he was begging to be fucked.

“You’re the one who got us busted..oh fuck Jensen..so fucking tight..fuck..not gonna last..then later I get Mac saying it sounded like your dick...”

“Okay..buuut,” Jared tilts his head slowly running his tongue up the column of Jensen’s neck, “you gotta admit,” hand slipping under his sleep shirt, “our sex life,” long fingers tip toe up the smooth, freckled chest, pads teasing his left nipple as Jared nibbles on his earlobe, ”is never boring.”

Jensen groans, dropping his arm, still clinching the phone, tipping his head to expose more of his neck to Jared’s wondrous lips, enjoying the scratch of his short beard.

“I thought you were sleeping the next three days.”

Jared answers by removing his hand and straddling his husband's thick thighs taken the phone placing it on the nightstand and starts nibbling along the other side of Jensen’s sensitive neck, working his way to his slightly raised claim mark flattening his tongue licking the ultra sensitive spot that always drives his Alpha wild.

Jensen slides his hands up Jared’s back finding a grip in his shortened hair, unhappy about how much he’s cut off for Walker, unable to tangle his thick fingers into the soft tresses like he used to.

Finding a purchase he pulls hard making Jared groan at the pleasurable sensation tips his head back till it’s the perfect angle for Jensen to run his tongue across those candy pink lips, teasing them open to grant him access, continues teasing, alternating between caressing Jared’s tongue with his and sucking on his lips.

Moaning, Jared rocks his hips seeking friction, breaks their kissing long enough to work Jensen's sleep shirt off. They end up wrestling a few moments before Jared tosses it as Jensen’s lips attack his more desperately.

Tapping Jared’s thigh, Jensen rolls them kneeling between sleep pant clad legs watching as Jared reaches up gripping the strategically placed bar in their custom made headboard with both hands, his pecs flexing in anticipation of what’s to come.

Not breaking eye contact Jensen bends forward, his lips a hair's breadth from Jared’s, slowly slides backwards hovering, caressing the acres of golden skin beneath him with only his warm breath, pausing to hook his fingers in the pants waistband and pulling them with him as he continues journeying south.

Slowly making his way back north he leaves wet, open mouth kisses along the now naked, extra long, muscular legs he loves, sucking on the insides of both thighs, nipping hard enough to leave marks before arriving at his designated stop.

He hasn’t even touched Jared’s beautiful cock yet it’s fully engorged, resting against his flat stomach vigorously leaking precome. Jensen dips his tongue into his bellybutton lapping up the liquid collecting in it, cause fuck, he’s loves how more sweet than salty Jared’s always tasted.

Hips rolling Jared rubs his cockhead against Jensen’s tongue and he kitten licks the dribbling slit before resting his head on Jared’s lower stomach and wrapping his lips around the velvety head.

Shifting his grip on the bar Jared’s makes nonsensical noises, toes curling at the mixed sensations of his mates silky beard tickling his lower regions while sucking on his cockhead, alternates swirling his tongue over the nerves underneath and teasing his slit sending spikes of pleasure radiating through him.

After all these years Jared’s still amazed at Jensen’s knowledge of his body, his ability to keep him on the edge of not enough for however long he’s in the mood to play.

“..pleease...need to cum...got to..so fucking..uhh..Alpha!”

Raising up on a forearm Jensen starts bobbing up and down his shaft, pausing briefly on each downward pass, working his throat open to take Jared further in until he’s nose deep in dark, trimmed pubic hair. Holding his mate's substantial cock in his throat swallows around him as Jared’s knot inflates, pushing his jaws apart till it’s too much.

Letting the knot slip out from between his plump lips Jensen wraps a hand firmly around it and starts vigorously bobbing drawing out a litany of obscene noises, feels Jared’s balls drawing up and backs off swallowing the warm, thick, spurting liquid.

Leisurely licking until Jared hissed, too sensitive for anymore kisses the tip one last time crawls back up the bed searching for his pillow and face plants on it.

“Dude, you’ve finally sucked out my last brain cell.”

Purring deep in his chest, Jensen gives Jared a self satisfied smirk, who mutters, “wasn’t trying to give you a bigger head.”

Rolling onto his side Jensen displays his turgid cock needing attention, “okay, he’s the bigger head,” Jared concedes reaching down running his fingers over the weeping tip, wetting them with precome spreads it over the shaft firmly fisting Jensen’s pulsing thickness, moving his hand up and down excruciatingly slowly.

“So,” his honeyed voice lowers an octave watching Jensen dissolving into a breathy mess, “how does he want me?”

Jensen opens his mouth to answer when a phone rings. Glaring over his shoulder, “not mine,” he growls. Still stroking him Jared stretches for his, “it’s the clinic..hello? Dr. Rodgers, hey, how are you sir?” He lets go sitting up against the headboard.

Why’s the doctor calling them at such an odd time, on a holiday no less?

Jared's brow wrinkles before he turns to Jensen, eyes sparkling breaks out his wondrous smile making his dimples pop.

“Jensen, she’s pregnant!”

Jared's practically bouncing on their bed like he’s on a massive sugar high discussing what comes next with the doctor. Jensen feels his erection rapidly diminishing, gets up heading into the bath and turns on the shower.

Climbing in he crosses his arms against the far wall, resting his forehead against them closing his eyes as hot water bounces across his broad shoulders.

Jensen knows he should be elated. Jared’s getting the pup (or pups) he’s desired for years and the possibility of being a father himself again. Instead, his heart seized up in conflict.

***

After that god awful argument in October he ended up at Josh’s, who confessed his mate and him were seeing a counselor because they were having marital issues too. Spending the night drinking and reflecting Jensen came home the next morning to a still angry Jared cause he didn’t know where the fuck his husband was all night.

Filling him in about his talk with Josh, Jared seemed somewhat mollified but a few nights later...

Walker star Jared Padalecki arrested near the one year anniversary of Stereotype bar altercation.

· Jared Padalecki was arrested once again in Austin, Texas, early Sunday morning on one count of public intoxication…

When he got released Jared sat Jensen down pleading with him to sit in on his next therapy session, saying they couldn’t keep going on like this, it was tearing him apart.

He wants..no..needs Jensen to completely open up, stop trying to protect him and discuss what’s going on in his head, what he’s really feeling.

Jared’s therapist started off informing both of them he wasn’t a marriage counselor but after a brief conversation with Jared knew the situation was having a detrimental impact on his mental health.

He listened to them separately, then together, about their observations and thoughts on each other’s behaviors came up with a hypothesis:

Since Jared’s last depressive episode, his random thoughts/emotions were feeding more into Jensen’s deep seated insecurities over his mate’s open, flirtatious personality and how he perceives others attraction/interactions to him.

And now Jared’s inner wolf is demonstrating an intense attraction to an Omega, something never encountered before with past preferences in Beta females, with this new dynamic Jensen didn’t know how to handle it.

Jensen opened and closed his mouth several times sputtering before saying this was complete bullshit and stormed out.

***

Lost in thought Jensen didn’t notice his husband stepping into the open shower stall until his considerable frame was blocking the water, Jared’s voice drew him out of his musings.

“I can hear you thinking clear in the other room.”

Cupped Jensen’s face between his large hands he gazed into those spring colored eyes that captured his heart the moment he looked into them years ago, “Hey, no matter what happens next, we’re good.”

***

December 16th

Jared was sitting in his chair chatting with Lindsey and Keegan while the crew was finishing setting up for the next scene when his phone rang. He didn’t recognize the number but excuses himself, stepping away for some privacy answering.

“Hey, everything okay?” Lindsay asked after he hung up, concerned by the visible tension rolling off the big Alpha.

“Umm..I don’t know, I need to make another call...” Jared said, waving the phone, “yeah, let us know if you need anything.” Keegan says and Jared nodded his thanks.

The phone rang three times, “Hey Clif, I need a favor.”

***

December 19th

Clif pulled the SUV into the parking lot, “Are you sure this is the right place?” Jared inquires looking around taking in the old motel located in a very questionable area of Austin.

“This is the name the guy mentioned.” Clif replied, getting out heading for the office. Couple minutes later he climbed back in, “the manager said the laundry out back.” He started the vehicle and drove to the rear of the property.

Clif got out again and knocked on the building's door. An older Hispanic woman answered engaging him in a brief conversation before stepping back inside.

Clif nodded to Jared and as he got out of the vehicle that piquant scent hit him seconds before the door reopened. The person he’d spent days searching for froze in the doorway upon seeing him.

***

December 22nd

Jensen, claiming out of the Uber, grabbed his bag thanking the driver, walked up the front stone pathway relieved to be home from L. A. after a hopefully final costume fitting for his new role as Soldier Boy, this flying back and forth every week for the last couple months had gotten old real quick and he was looking forward to enjoying the holidays at home.

Jared’s parents were coming tomorrow and staying for a few days as was Danneel and their pups. Josh said he was still planning on dropping by a few hours Christmas Day since he and Mac were scheduled to spend most of the holiday with their parents.

Jensen felt that mixture of anger and sadness he got thinking about his parents. He was raised in their church and though he never believed in it, respected their choice.

Too bad they couldn’t reciprocate.

***

Alan and Donna belonged to an ultra conservative church. The foundations of child rearing was to be found in the good book and in the Ackles household-spare the rod, spoil the child-was gospel.

When they were growing up neither parent was the physically or emotionally demonstrative type, only showing their offspring a reserved affection, especially in public.

The saving grace was their Beta nanny who gave them unconditional love, especially Jensen, who was shy as a child already knowing he was different from his siblings. She instilled the confidence in them to discover who they truly were inside and encouraged Jensen to come out before moving to California.

Shortly after graduating he told his family about his bisexuality and his boyfriend was moving to L.A. with him.

Alan and Donna tried to stop him. He was to go to their pastor and confess his transgressions, beg forgiveness for his sins against the church and its teachings, threatening to pull the agreed upon six month financial support while he auditioned for parts before going to college if it didn’t work out.

Jensen refused, packed up, took his boyfriend and left. He got his first break shortly after and quickly learned Hollywood didn’t care what his sexual orientation was as long as he kept it behind closed doors.

His management agency decided early on to promote Jensen as the good guy/boyfriend type. They also set him up on dates to events with many up and coming female artists of the time. He had no problem playing along when he wasn’t actually dating a woman.

His big break came on the CW. After co-starring in a couple series for the network he was offered the chance to be a lead in a new series created by Eric Kripke.

At the audition he met former Gilmore Girls heartthrob, Jared Padalecki, flashing his infectious smile, dimples for days and the most beautiful, incredible color shifting eyes Jensen’s ever seen, he was done for.

Jensen might not have his biological parents in his life anymore but his now in-laws, the complete opposite of the Ackles, helped fill that hole.

It’s easy to see where Jared’s personality comes from. His Om, Sherrie, is overly affectionate, excessively physical and verbal with everyone she considers family, biological or not.

The first time he accompanied Jared home on a holiday break Jensen was literally bowled over by the five foot nothing Omega and instantly became part of her brood.

***

Barley getting the front door open Jensen is hit with the piquant scent of orange blossoms and spices he couldn’t quite place.

Dropping his carry-on bag in the foyer he followed the scent further into the house. Arlo sat up near the large picture windows facing the backyard where he and Koda are napping and gets up coming over to greet him.

“Hey big guy, where’s daddy at?” Jensen asked rubbing around his ears like he liked having thought Jared would still be on set before the holiday break.

He heads towards the kitchen where the scent seems to be coming from, “Babe is that coffee shop back open, what’s it called, has those sweet rolls you're obsessed with..” he abruptly stopped and blinks not believing what was in front of him.

More accurately who was in front of him.

“Babe is in his office and dinner will be ready in twenty.”

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?”

***

tbc

GFA: @babypink224221 @waywardjoy @let-me-luve-you @all-4-wincest

SPN: @donnaintx @lyarr24

Sam/Jared @idreamofplaid

Dean/Jensen: @flamencodiva

#jensen ackles #jared padalecki #j2 husbands #winchesterandbeyondbingo #alpha!jensen ackles #alpha!jared padalecki #alpha!jensenxalpha!jaredxomega!ofc #j2 au #j2 fanfic #j2alphas #a/b/o ofc #spn #supernatural #slow burn

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katie-writes24 · 4 years

Text

Should’ve Asked For A Name

Pairing: John Laurens x reader

Warnings: Language, lots of confusion, innuendos, fluff, just bro’s being bro’s, but wait-there’s more

Request: Oh shit, sure! I'd love to see what you would do with this prompt :) I'm thinkin like John and Reader met each other through social media and they're just vibin. John wants to get to know Reader more but has always thought Reader was a dude bc they're typing and sending memes like the absolute homesicle HAHHAHAA Then they meet up irl and he's like "oh shit--" Lmk in dms if ya need more shit jajajajaja or want to talk, I'm down to talk You should totally listen to Anthony's music - @yes-this-account-is-dead

So this took WAY longer then I meant for it to, but ngl I was struggling a little bit. But I hope this is what you were looking for, I even played with the fake text messages! So...yeah, I got some more stuff on the way I’m excited to share. Hope you all enjoy, let me know if you wanna be tagged!

July, 1st

@ johnlaurens33

If I see one more god damn thread on why turtles are useless I’m going to SCREAM!

@ y/u/n

I got you bud *insert thread of why turtles are magnificent creatures”

@ johnlaurens33

you made my night 🥺

July 3rd

@ johnlaurens33

Another day, another hour of telling Alex that coffee is not considered acceptable as an actual meal. Fifty bucks for whoever volunteers to babysit. Must make sure he is fed regularly and is in bed by 9pm sharp!

@ y/u/n

Where can I apply? And a further question: is it acceptable to use forceful methods to keep him in place? 🤔

@ johnlaurens33

Despite the innuendo, yes, you can. I will send you an application immediately.

July 8th

Via Direct Message:

@ johnlaurens33- so I gotta ask, Marvel or DC

@ y/u/n- You GOTTA ask?

@ johnlaurens33- I meannn it’s an ice breaker, you gotta admit

@ y/u/n- captain america can surely make me patriotic

@ johnlaurens33 - Really? But what about the comics?

@ y/u/n - Marvel HAVE comics. They have a better plot, too. You’re gonna compare justice league to the avengers?? Seriously dude?!

@ johnlaurens33- you know what?

@ johnlaurens33- i don’t think this friendship is gonna last very long.

July 16th

July 19th

@ y/u/n

I would kill for a drink right now. Like not the type of drink that will have me forget my problems, but the kind that actually makes me fix my problems...or at least care about them?

@ johnlaurens33

Do you mean...like alcohol? Or coffee? Or DayQuil? Or....

@ y/u/n

All of the above yes

@ johnlaurens33

Well that’s not therapeutic, or like promising if you actually care about your life.

August 2nd

@ johnlaurens33

@ y/u/n is a real one, knows just how to make the night better.

@ y/u/n

Damn :,)

August 5th

August 23rd

John looked around as he entered the bar. It wasn’t that busy, but he still had a hard time trying to find the guy he was meeting up with. John texted him ten minutes upon arriving that he was dressed in purple shirt and a black jacket, so that he would know where to find him.

John went up to the counter and ordered a beer, sitting at a stool on the end and watched the screen above him.

Ten minutes pass and he starts to get anxious; he was so excited to finally meet the person he was talking to for the past four months. They’ve grown close, and John likes that he can be so open about anything when they talk. There was something comforting about telling someone who doesn’t know about your past. It was a fresh slate.

“John?” He turned to find a woman approaching him. She had a soft smile and hopeful, kind eyes. Despite her beauty, he didn’t recognize her.

“Yeah?” John raised a brow and watched as her smile grew.

“Hi, I’m Y/N, it’s nice to finally meet you!” She pulled up a chair next to him and waved down the bartender to order a drink.

Frozen in his seat, John looked around the bar, just checking to see if there was a guy looking for him. Because this...this wasn’t right.

He’s been talking to a girl; he was so focused on how casual the guy- girl was that he didn’t even think twice about their gender.

Not that it really mattered, it just...he was so care free about who he was talking to. If he had known he was talking to a girl, then he would’ve probably been his usual cocksure self, talking more sufficiently or maybe even flirting.

“Sorry I was late,” Y/N pulled off her jacket and set it over the back fo her chair. “There was lots of traffic and I don’t really know this place well enough to walk alone.”

“No, no worries,” John stumbled with his words and scratched his the back of his head. “Uh...how was your trip up here?”

“Ugh, long,” She chuckled and sipped on her beer as the waiter set it in front of her. “The plane ride was exhausting. And I forgot how annoying the whole airport system is. I showed up an hour early just for my flight to be delayed for three hours.”

“Damn, that sucks,” John winced and she shruggedhopelessly. “So, what are you in town for?”

“For work, there’s a position that’s opening in one of the branches and my manager thought it would be the perfect fit for me.” Her smile was bright, John noticed that right away. “So, you know if all goes well, maybe...you might see me around more often?”

“Well, that wouldn’t be a bad thing, now would it?” John laughed and clinked his bottle against hers.

They fell into easy conversation after that, talking about their jobs, their dreams. Y/N didn’t bring up John’s family, which he had recently told her that things weren’t good at the moment. John made sure to remind Y/N that it was awful that she didn’t appreciate sushi. They laughed as they told stories about college.

John realized that he liked taking to Y/N, he felt she understood him in a way. Now that he knows that she’s a she, it doesn’t really change anything. It’s still the same Y/N he talked to on the phone. And he was himself when he talked to her.

When they were walking out hours later, John sighed and realized he didn’t want the night to end.

“Hey, I know you’re quite busy when you’re in town, but...I don’t know, if you’re free, maybe we could go see a movie or something?” He glanced at the sidewalk, avoiding her gaze.

Y/N smirked at his shy attitude, but nodded nonetheless. “I’d like that. As long as it’s the new Marvel movie.”

John scoffed, finally looking up, “Well, then you’d have to come over and watch a decent superhero movie. Like...any DC movie.”

Y/N laughed and nodded, “I’m down for that.”

She’d rearrange her schedule ten different times if it meant that she’d spend more time with John.

Let me know if you want to be tagged!!!

@dontblinkumightmiss @etjt1821

#john laurens imagine #john laurens x reader #john laurens x reader fic #john laurens #hamilton #hamilton imagine #john laurens x oc #social media au #my writings #laurens just assumes #shame on him

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buckaroosboogara · 3 years

Text

911 week - Day 5:

“Can I tell you a secret?” + comfort

(1800~ words, Albert and Chimney, tw alcohol and mentions of addiction/addiction.)

@911week

"Albert, I don't know how or why, but if you don't want to be a firefighter anymore, just tell me." Chimney huffed.

"Well," Albert got up and stumbled with his feet. He gained composure and walked to the door. "I don't wanna be a firefighter. Father was right, I am useless. And just like him, an alcoholic. Now go away."

Chimney flinched, "This is not you Albert, please..."

"Well, what do you know about me, huh? We were apart for more than 20 years." Albert barked as he opened the door.

"I'll come back." Chim said, walking outside.

"Yeah, yeah."

Albert wanted to cry.

He felt like the world was turning him into a living joke, only alive to make people laugh, and he hated it.

He was a step closer to be out of the fire academy, and his instructor had warned him that if he made one mistake more, he would be out.

First, his written test had an 80/100, he would have like to blame it on Jee and her strong lungs that woke him up four hours before his exam at 8, but he couldn't do that. It was also his fault for constantly delaying the time to study for it, until dinner of the very last night before the exam.

Then, he decided to move in with Buck again, or better said, move to Buck's place since the other man was mostly at Eddie's place than his own flat, giving Maddie and Chimney the privacy they needed. They happened to go partying to celebrate Albert's birthday the night before a big Chief went unpromptedly to the academy, and Albert arrived late for the first time, just that day.

And now... he definitely deserved to get kicked out.

He filled his teammate's oxygen tank with the gases, mostly nitrogen and carbon monoxide, that the O2 truck's engine liberated.

He almost killed the girl during their training.

And he didn't have a father in an important charge or a politician mother to get him out of that trouble, like the story of a training firefighter in Chicago.

His only consolation was that his teammate, Jennifer, the only woman in his class, was already at her home, and had texted him to say it was okay, she knew he didn't mean to hurt her. That he was a harmless cinnamon bun, whatever that meant.

He went home after the furious instructor had made him leave the academy, having done enough harm for the day.

He messaged Buck, briefly telling him he was home early, and threw himself on the couch, the weight of guilt crushing him down.

Albert really wished Jennifer - or JJ, how she like her friends to call her, but Albert didn't consider himself one - would be okay and become a firefighter in the next two weeks, when their final physical exam would happen.

He also didn't want to alarm Buck or Chimney, both were stressed enough, having to juggle between being at the station and covering shifts for the two people down and having to take care of Maddie, Eddie, and Bobby, with the last two assuring they didn't need their help.

Between these thoughts he fell asleep, waking up some hours after, dreams of death and disappointment hunting him.

He put his jacket on and looked for a bar near, doing the only thing he ever learned from his father.

Drown his guilts in alcohol.

...

Chimney could feel something was wrong with his brother.

No, he knew.

The clues were right there.

He wasn't calling as much as he used to do, and whenever Buck called and was at their loft, Albert was not there.

That, plus Buck's comments about him arriving home very late and leaving very early, with dark eye bags and smelling of alcohol. Those comments didn't ease the feeling on Chimney's gut.

He first tried to call him, day, noon, even at 3 am when he couldn't sleep during a shift. Nothing.

Or, short messages telling him he would call later, but he never did.

Chimney knew how close Albert was to be a firefighter, and he knew that last week was the worst one. He feared what it would do to his brother.

So one day, the stars aligned and Buck saw Albert during the noon in their loft. He did what he could to keep him there and called Chimney to get there, he knew that Albert needed his brother rather than anyone else at that moment.

As soon as Chimney arrived, Buck left the building and both men could speak for the first time in a week and a half.

"Okay, I'm gonna go straight to the point." Chimney huffed as he closed the door behind Buck. "What the hell is going on with you?"

"Nothing." Albert lied, sitting on the couch with a beer in hand.

"Don't you dare lie to me. I know you and this is not you, Al. Talk to me." Chimney walked to the couch and stood in front of his brother.

Albert avoided his look and kept quiet.

Chimney huffed. "Look, the EMT in charge of the basic health support and procedures class, Eli, called me yesterday. He was glad another Han would become a firefighter, but then he told me you weren't there."

He crouched in front of his brother. "Albert, I don't know how or why, but if you don't want to be a firefighter anymore, just tell me. You don't need to avoid me, or Buck, for the record. Talk to me."

"Well," Albert got up and stumbled with his feet. He gained composure and walked to the door. "I don't wanna be a firefighter. Now go away."

Chimney flinched, "This is not you Albert, please..."

"Well, what do you know about me, huh? We were apart for more than 20 years." Albert barked as he opened the door.

"I'll come back." Chim said, walking outside.

"Yeah, yeah."

The door shut.

Chimney wanted to cry.

...

"Chimney! Nice to see you around for once, but why are you here?" Eli happily exclaimed when he saw Chim walking through the academy's halls the next morning.

"Hey Eli, it's nice to see you too brother." Chimney rolled his eyes fondly and hugged the man.

After making the appropriate small talk Chimney spoke, "I actually came here to ask about my brother..."

"Albert Han?" Eli asked and checked the clipboard he carried with him. "Uh, he hasn't come to my class in a week. Since the oxygen tank accident, actually."

Chim's mind stopped racing after the last sentence. "Oxygen tank accident?"

The EMS gave him an odd look. "Yeah... everyone here knows about it. He accidentally filled his partner's tank with monoxide and other gases from the O2 truck's engine."

Chimney took his hands to his eyes, too much information entering his brain, Eli continued. "She passed away during training and hit her head, but apart from that and the toxic inhalation she was perfect."

"Shit. Okay, I would remember if he told me that." Chim shook his head. "And he hasn't come in a week?"

"Not to my classes." Eli said. "I thought that maybe you'd teach him for the exam, therefore he wouldn't come but... I know you, there's something more."

"Yeah. Just- I need to talk to him. Could you make sure they don't... you know... kick him out?"

"I'll do what I can." Eli answered sincerely. "Hey, it seems like almost getting kicked out is a Han thing now."

Chim winced. He had been very close... which actually gave him an idea.

"I gotta go, Eli, thanks for the... uh.. for everything!" Chim said, slowly tracking back. "Bye!"

...

Albert heard a knock on the door and groaned.

He waited for whoever was there to give up and walk away, but the person kept insisting.

"Open up Albert, I know you are there!" Chimney's voice sounded from the hall.

"Ugh, go away!" Albert huffed as he took a bottle of beer from the fridge.

"I'm not going away Albert. I'm going to stay here until Buck arrives or you open the door."

"So stubborn."

"Just like you."

Albert thought of his options. He could either wait or let his brother in and drive him away in minutes and he would be alone again.

He sighed as he opened the door. "Happy now?"

"No. I need you to talk to me, Albert." Chimney got inside. "I know about the accident. It's not your fault, look-"

"If you know, then you know it is my fault. She could have died. I could have killed her. It's not that I don't want to be a firefighter. I can't be one." Albert blurted out, his cheeks red from embarrassment.

"Albert..."

"And it's not just that- it's that every one of my written tests is marked only with an 80%, I can't seem to be there in time and then I almost killed one of my classmates, my friend. And- And I just- I feel like giving up." He took a swing of his beer. "And I did. Father was right, I am useless. And just like him, an alcoholic."

He made a sad smile and continued drinking.

"No, you are much more than that Albert." Chimney said, taking the bottle from his hand. "And you would make an amazing firefighter, don't ever doubt that."

Albert rolled his eyes and huffed, making his way to the couch. Chim followed and sat on the coffee table in front of his brother.

"Can I tell you a secret?" Chim asked after some seconds of silence.

"Go ahead."

"I almost got kicked out too."

Albert scanned his expression. "You're lying."

"The hell I'm not." Chim huffed. "Being a firefighter was the thing that kept me going for many years. Until I met Maddie. But, believe it or not, I almost got kicked out for not asking for help and being a jerk."

"I was struggling in the written exams too. Almost failing, while Kevin got all 95s and 100s. I got jealous and was too proud to ask him for help. Then I started having problems with the higher levels. But one day..." Chimney smiled. "One day Chief Aadav Panikkar, yeah, Ravi's father, called me to his office. And he helped me."

A tear slipped down Chimney's cheek. Albert ducked his head.

"I wanna help you, Albert."

"And, yeah, I'm gonna be realistic. You have little chance to graduate next week, but if we work hard and have a little luck, you will be able to." Chimney said, "And if you don't. Then you are going to kick ass with my help the next time you can apply to the academy. And we are going to AA. Okay? But we are going to do it together."

Albert's lips contracted in a fine line.

"Okay." When he looked up again, Chimney could see his eyes glowing with tears. "Thanks, Howie. I love you."

Albert got up and waited for Chim to do the same and hugged him.

"I love you too little brother," Chimney said, hugging his brother tightly.

They had a long way ahead of them, but together they were strong enough to get through it.

...

Despite all their efforts, Albert couldn't complete the training the first time, and it hurt, not just to the Han brothers, but to the whole 118.

Two weeks later they met with Bobby for a reunion with ex-alcoholics.

Six months later, Albert finished his last physical test, and the 118 was on top of the exam building, waiting for him.

He not only was in his official probationary year, but he learned that he had a family now.

A family that was with him throughout all those hellish months.

That was what the 118 was. Family.

#posting this 10 minutes before midnight yeahh #kinda rushed but i liked how it turned out #tw alcohol #tw alcoholism #911week2021 #chimney han #albert han #mentions of buckley siblings #911 on fox #911 fox #comfort #is this comfort?#i hope so #my fics

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brianc521 · 5 years

Text

Hickey

You sneak around the arena halls, trying to go unnoticed by the band and crew, looking for the two boys you knew would be able to help you with the idea you have.

You find them in the catering room, like you thought you would, and sit in front of them both, resting your hands on the table.

“Okay, so here’s the deal.” You start, catching both of their attentions. “Shawn thinks he’s unprankable,” You say, both of them raising an eyebrow with a sly smug smile gracing their features. “And since you decided to post the video of him scaring me on the new behind the scenes of tour vlog,” You give Connor a pointed look, “I wanna get him back. But it has to be really good.”

Brian sits up straight in his chair, locking eyes with you. “I’m one step ahead of you.” He grins, standing from his seat, motioning for the two of you to follow him away from listening ears of the crew around you.

You and Connor look at each other and shrug, standing to follow Brian out of the room.

You find yourself in a huddle with the two boys, all three spitting out ideas on how to get Shawn. Things like ‘I accidentally broke your guitar’ or ‘You leaked my nudes’ becoming frequent. Brian even going as far as to looking up other couple pranks on youtube to get ideas, and he lands on one that he can’t help but convince you to do.

“The hickey prank.” He grins, showing Connor the screen he was one.

“Yes!” Connor yelps, but then hushed as all three of you look around like you’re doing something suspicious.

“No he won’t believe it.” You shake your head.

“He will.” They boys nod.

“No, we have a strict no hickey rule.” You mumble.

“Exactly, we’ll set the whole thing up. We’re in Portland till the 13th, and it’s the 10th. Tell him you’ve gotten into contact with an old family friend and that you’re going to meet up with them for dinner, don’t say who or what gender, just say a family friend. I’ll go out with him the same night to keep him distracted.” Brian starts his plan.

“But wait, I don’t have a family friend here.”

“I know, that’s why we’ll send you with Connor here.” He pats Connor shoulder. “And you can post a picture of you and Connor, but hide his face, that way Shawn can be like ‘she’s with a guy?’ you know.”

“He’s not the jealous type.” You point out.

Brian gives you a dead look, “All boys are the jealous type when their girl is out with another dude.”

You nod, acknowledging that that’s true. “Okay so then what?”

“The next day we’ll plant a fake hickey on your neck, and have Connor say he wants to record all day, that is until after the prank you know, and wait till he notices and reacts.”

The plan sounded really good, and deep down you know Shawn would never believe it, but the two puppies in front of you were so excited and practically pouncing at your feet so you sigh, nodding and agreeing to the plan.

“Babe, I’m going out with Brian to watch the game at the arena, they’ve set it up on the big screen and everything, wanna come?” Shawn asks, slipping on a new t-shirt, freshly washed curls clinging to his forehead.

“Actually,” You bite your lip, the nerves already eating you alive. “I’m meeting up with an old family friend for dinner.”

Shawn turns and looks at you with furrowed brows. “I didn’t realize you knew anyone from Portland.”

“Well I don’t,” You drag out. “They used to be really close with my family, and moved when I was fresh out of high school.”

“Oh, okay.” He runs his fingers through his curls, pushing them back. “Want me to come? I can tell Brian I have plans.”

“No it’s okay, go watch the game. I’ll meet up with my friend, and meet you back here.” You say, fixing up your lip gloss a bit.

Brian gave you notes on how to act, what to say, and what to do.

“Oh,” Shawn watches you. “Okay, have fun then.” He turns away confused.

It wasn’t often that you turned down his offer of joining you somewhere. With the fact that he toured so much of the year, any chance you had to spend together you took greedily.

“Thanks Babe.”

He watches you slip on your heels and adjust the dress you’re wearing in the mirror. He walks up behind you, arms circling around and pulling you into his chest, chin on your shoulder.

“You look pretty.”

“Thank you. You’re pretty handsome yourself.”

“Where are you going for dinner?”

“This restaurant not far from here, my friends gonna pick me up.”

“Do they know about me?” He asks.

“No, I didn’t want them to like leak the hotel, they don’t know I have a boyfriend.”

Shawn’s eyes harden a little. “Who is it?”

“An old family friend, I don’t think I’ve ever talked to you about them.”

He doesn’t want to ask if it’s a boy or not, because he knows he has no reason to be jealous, but his gut is telling him that something is off here. He takes your left hand and nervously plays with the promise ring on your finger.

“Okay,” He pouts, “Be safe okay? Call me if you need a ride or anything?”

“Of course.” You smile at him.

Your phone buzzes and you know that’s Connor texting the ‘I’m here’ as your ride.

“I gotta go Baby.” You look at Shawn through the mirror.

He nods, letting go and watching you grab your purse and slip it over your shoulder. You lean up and leave a chaste kiss to his cheek and bolt out the door, you physically have to bite your tongue to not say ‘I love you’ like you always do.

You and Connor sit in the parking lot of a McDonald’s waiting on play by plays from Brian on how Shawn’s doing.

Shawn’s been texting you all night, but you’ve kept the responses short and sweet, sometimes not even responding at all.

“Connor, I don’t know about this. I feel bad.”

“Come on, you wanted to get him back right? Well jumping out around the corner from him isn’t gonna do it. We had to take it up a level.”

You nod, and bite your nail as Brian texts.

iMessage from Brian: He’s freaking out.

iMessage from Brian: Post the picture.

You wiggle your toes anxiously as you click over to Instagram, and post the picture you and Connor took earlier today at the arena in a safe zone that could look like you were anywhere.

His face was covered by your hand as you were pushing it in the opposite direction, big laugh and smile on your face, and most importantly his hand around your waist, gripping your left hip.

You wait and close the app, to anxious to see if he’s seen it.

iMessage from Brian: He just saw your post.

iMessage from Brian: He’s replayed it 5 times.

iMessage from Brian: He’s zoomed in on Connors hand

iMessage from Brian: He’s jealous

You waited in Connors room alone while he went out with the rest of the crew to make it seem like you were still out with your friend.

Shawn had decided to stay in and not go out, so he could wait for you. You knew he was probably pacing the length of your shared room across the hall.

It was now a little past midnight and you decide it’s time to head back over, especially because you’re tired and want to go to bed. You quietly sneak out of Connors room and tip toe back to yours, slipping the key card in the slot and walking in.

To no surprise the lights are still on and the TV is playing a rerun of One Tree Hill. You look around and don’t spot Shawn anywhere, but you hear the toilet flush and the sink water start running so you quickly take your heels off and set your purse down, and start rummaging for things to wear to bed.

He walks out of the bathroom, flipping the light off and stopping short when he sees you.

“Hey,” He says softly, taking a seat on the bed next to your suitcase that you’ve set on your side so you can dig through it.

“Hi.” You greet him.

“How was your night?” He asks.

“It was good, yours?”

“Um, it was okay.”

He watches you as you grab a tank top and shorts with a pair of lace panties. You turn and grab your lotion off the nightstand and your hair towel wrap.

“Are you taking a shower?” He asks, looking at the clock. “At midnight?”

“Yeah, I feel all gross.” You nod. “It was hotter than I was expecting and I’ve been sweating.”

His heart is racing a little. “Can I join you?”

At any other moment you would have pulled him into the bathroom with you, but to keep the act up you shake your head. “Maybe next time, I just wanna shower real quick and head to bed.”

He nods, and watches you go and shut the door to the bathroom behind you. You even go as far as to flip the lock. He grabs his phone and looks back at your story, biting his lip and bouncing his leg as he tries to figure out who you were with.

You met with Connor and Brian first thing in the morning to apply the hickey. From watching the few other hickey pranks you noticed that the ones with the most success used lipstick. So that’s what you did.

In no time you had a nice little purple bruise littered to your skin.

“It’s perfect, subtle but eye catching.”

“Good, okay.” You take a deep breath. “I’m freaking out.”

“It’s okay, once he notices it you can stop the prank at anytime.”

“Okay.” You nod.

“It’s okay Y/n, you haven’t done anything wrong. It’s all a joke.” Brian pats your shoulder.

“I know but to him it’s not yet, and he’s being really clingy and I’m like pushing him away.”

“For now, it all ends today. Promise.”

Connor focuses the camera on you so you can start the video.

“Hey guys! So as you saw Shawn scared me a week ago and I broke my phone. Well he claimed, after that, that he was unprankable. So I’ve teamed up with Brian,” Connor pans to Brian, “And Connor,” Connor waves at that lens, “And we’ve come up with a plan to prank Shawn. So last night I told Shawn that I was meeting up with an old family friend for dinner while him and Brian watched the game. In reality I sat at McDonald’s with Connor and got play by play text messages from Brian. The picture I posted with another guy was actually a picture completely posed of Connor and I, that Brian took earlier while Shawn was at rehearsals. I was super shady and have been keeping my distance from Shawn since I got back from my ‘dinner’” You motion air quotes, “And well,” You pull your hair back and reveal the fake hickey. “We’re gonna prank Shawn into thinking that someone else gave me a hickey.”

He’d gone all morning without noticing. You even put your hair up to expose of your neck even more.

It wasn’t until you were seated with the band at lunch that he saw it. You knew when he saw it too, because his eyes widened a little, and Connor had zoomed in on the two of you.

He cleared his throat, adjusted the way he was sitting and leaned closer to subtly inspect your neck. His cheeks flushed, and when you laid a hand on his thigh he brushed you off.

You made the slight signal to Brian and he nodded and worked on getting the team out of the room, Connor dropped his camera off on the desk, still filming and everyone left except you too.

The second you two were alone he spoke up.

“What is that?” He asks, pointing at your neck with his chin, voice even, jaw clenched.

“What’s what?” You play dumb, looking behind you at the camera.

“On your neck.” He bites his lip. “That’s a hickey on your neck.”

“A what.” You reach up and rub the wrong side of your neck.

“No, right there.” He reaches out and touches it. “That’s a hickey.”

He locks eyes with you, and all you can see is anger and insecurity.

“Did you give me a hickey?” You stumble over your words.

He rolls his eyes. “When the fuck would I have given you a hickey? We haven’t done anything in four days.”

You wanna laugh at the fact that he knows the exact amount of days, but don’t.

“I must have burnt myself on my flat iron this morning.” You pull away from his hand.

“Bullshit,” He spits, “That’s not a fucking burn, that’s a fucking hickey.”

“It’s not a hickey Shawn.”

“Yes the fuck it is.” His eyes flare, and it’s like it all clicks. His breathing picks up and his hands start to shake.

You’re over the prank by now.

“Shawn,” You reach for his hand before he pulls away and slides his body away from yours. “Stop.”

“Who were you with last night?” He asks, eyes flickering from your neck to your eyes. “Where did you go? Why were you gone so late?”

He’s finger combing through his curls and shaking his head.

“Oh my god, holy shit.” He looks back at your neck, really looking at it.

“Shawn,” You start but he shakes his head.

“Tell me the truth, who were you with? What friend was it?”

He was actually believing that you would cheat on him, and he was working himself up into a panic.

“Stop,” You crawl forward, planting yourself on his lap. “It’s a prank, look at me, it’s prank.”

His head snaps to look at you, eyes wide and blown out. “What?”

“Connor! Brian!” You call. “I’m calling it, prank over.”

The boys peek into the room from the hall.

Shawn looks confused as he looks around, watching Connor walk over to the desk and grab his camera.

“Oh my god,” Shawn throws his head back, “Holy shit.”

His breathing starts to even out, and he relaxes against you.

“I can’t believe you believed it.”

“You scared me!” He whines, looking at you with hooded lids. “You were being hella shady last night and this morning, and then like you’ve got a hickey.” He mumbles. “How do you have a hickey?”

“It’s lipstick.”

He licks his thumb and wipes it across your neck, looking back at his thumb that’s now a slight shade of purple.

“Oh my god,” He sighs, “Don’t do that! I was freaking out. You’re my whole life, and like, ughh!”

“How’s that for unprankable bitch?” Brian asks, laughing from the doorway.

“That was mean.” He pouts looking up at you. “Don’t do that! Fucking, pants me in public or something, but don’t do that.”

“I’m sorry, they convinced me too.”

“I almost took your promise ring.” He whispers, thumbing with it.

You gasp and rip your hand back. “You will do no such thing.”

“What do you expect, I thought-”

“I know,” You dig your hands into his curls. “But I would never, you know that.”

He takes a deep breath and rests his forehead against yours.

Connor walks around and focuses on your face.

“Well you saw it here folks, Shawn Mendes isn’t as unprankable as he thought he was.” You say to the camera, getting Shawn to look up.

“Oh Baby, you don’t even know what you started.” He grins, looking at you to the camera. “Stay tuned.”

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dailyaudiobible · 3 years

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03/14/2021 DAB Transcript

Numbers 21:1-22:20, Luke 1:26-56, Psalms 57:1-11, Proverbs 11:9-11

Today is the 14th day of March welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I am Brian it is wonderful to be here with you today. Can you believe it? Like a month ago today was Valentine's Day. And if I remember right it was on the…at the beginning of a week just like this. And just like that a month goes by and here we are approaching the center of this third month of the year. Yesterday we…we began the gospel of Luke, the third the gospel and we’ll be camped out in this third gospel for the rest of this third month of the year although we will transition in the Old Testament before this month is out. But I digress. That’s just kind of where we are. That's the lay of the land. Let's move into the Scriptures. We’ll read from the God's Word translation this week, picking up where we left off yesterday. In the book of Numbers the children of Israel are…they’re kinda trapped in the desert at this point and they had asked if they could pass through the country, the nation of Edom, but they were refused. Ironically, the nation of Edom, these are brothers, like this family. Jacob, remember his name was changed to Israel. And, so, his children were the children of Israel. And he had a brother named Esau. And there was a bunch conniving going on and they kind of had a falling out even though they reconciled in the end. The Edomites are the descendants of Esau. So, basically Jacobs descendants are asking Esau's descendants just to be able to pass through and they’re saying “no.” And in yesterday's reading, we concluded with the Edomites bringing out their army, essentially a show of force at the border to say, “you’re not coming through here.” So, that's where we pick up the story. Numbers chapter 21 verse 1 through 22 verse 20.

Prayer:

Father we thank You for Your word and for bringing us safely into this…this brand new shiny sparkly week. And we often…we often think of this at the beginning of the week that it's all out in front of us. We…we haven’t an made any miss steps, we haven't made any mistakes. It’s out there in the future. It has yet to be revealed. It has yet to be created. We have to live into it. And, so, we are here now with grateful hearts looking forward to the adventure that we get to share together walking with You into this new week. Come Holy Spirit. We pray that You would continue to inform and awaken our hearts by…by the Scriptures, and we thank You for binding us together in community as we take this journey come Holy Spirit we pray in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi everybody my name is Garrett I'm a long-time listener here I've called in in the past and I try and pray along with you as much as I can did. I've…I've struggled with anxiety and depression for a long time now and today's been honestly extra bad, and I'd really appreciate some prayers to help give me some strength to, you know, get back on the right path and get that passion that I once had back. And I really appreciate it. I love you all and God bless.

Hello this is Gwen, and I am calling in for my friend Kate. She has something called seizures and I am really sad about it. She was my best friend so please pray for her and that she stays safe especially during covid. And I'm going to ask my sister right now if she wants to say something Do you? She said no. But please pray for her and her parents. And also, this little miracle happened when we were there. We were over at Kate’s house praying and her grandma pulled in and said that she was allowed…her dad was allowed to go in the hospital with her and we just prayed that. And also, that her seizures would stop and it did. All they have to figure out is it for it not to come back. So, please pray for her and her family to do very well. Thank you.

Good morning DABbers this is Nancy from Southern Oregon. I've recently retired. So, instead of listening to the Daily Audio Bible on my commute to and from work I'm now listening to it at home on my computer. Well, today's Friday March 11th they were talking about how the bronze censors were so holy when God made them…the people that gathered and God burned those 250 followers, He commanded __ to gather them up because the censors were holy. And he had them hammered out and repurposed into making sheets to overlay the altar to remind everybody that God is holy and only the people of Aaron should bring censors. So, in my mind I’m thinking this is the first time I recall hearing of repurposing by God or recycling. But then I think about how he recycled us, that we were recycled by God from people whose very best was nothing more than filthy rags and how He chose us, and He called us first. And then we set ourselves in His light and we turned away from the world. We have purpose and we gotta hold up and be empowered into something useful to honor the Lord. And it's just a reminder to the world that the living God wants us to enter into a relationship with Him. Those were my thoughts for today. Thinking and applying it. And thank you Brian for this program. God bless you all. Thanks. Bye-bye.

Hi everyone, it's Christy from Kentucky. Oh, I just have such a burden on my heart today and I need to share a couple of things with you that I need prayer for. I haven't called about this because it's been very difficult to talk about, but I lost my second Cousin Morgan to a…what they believe is a heroin fentanyl overdose. And it just…I…I can't even wrap my brain around it because the last time that she and I spoke she seemed to have turned her life around and was telling me about how she'd asked of the Lord to forgive her and I'm so grateful for that message that she sent to me. But I'm kind of kicking myself because I didn't follow up and that was back in September. And, you know, sometimes we take things for granted thinking things are going OK and then this happens. So, if you would please keep my family in your prayers. Also, my sweet friend Barb in Ohio had had a lung transplant several years ago due to a chronic illness and she had new lungs and she was just doing so well and something with this new medication that they put her on in the fall for her immunity…her…her immune system has…has attacked her lungs and now she's only at like 41% lung capacity. Please pray for my friend Bard for healig. Alright everyone. I love you guys so much and I lift you up in prayer. I pray each of you are having a most blessed and lovely day today.

Good morning DAB family this is Minnesota Ruka I just wanted to call in because it is the 12th of March and I heard an amazing young daughter speak at the very end wanting to be anonymous. And I heard your story girl and I just wanna let you know that the Lord is so proud of you and he is so beside you right now. We all make mistakes in life. I'd like to say a lot of us at different times struggle with our own flesh who needs to think that we can do things on our own. But I want to let you know that don't let the guilt or shame hold you back. You are on the right path and the angels are rejoicing that…in this new awareness that you have and that that valley that red sea that you were in where you fell astray, that that sea is being lifted and that the Lord is excited to have you back and is open arms with you right now and is gonna bring you blessings and peace. Keep close to him and know that he loves you and that we love you too dear sister and you are amazing. Have a great one.

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cyn-00 · 4 years

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Moreid one shot, 14 - "this thing"

Season 2, episode 12 "Profiler, profiled" (the one where Carl Buford is arrested for murdering one of the kids from the Youth Center of Chicago South Side, so the whole story about him being a pedophile rapist - and Derek being one of his victims as a kid - comes up. I wanna point out that originally I think only Gideon and Hotch discover Derek's direct involvement in this, but for the sake of this fic we'll pretend Reid does, too)

@tastefulancientwhispers asked me to tag her if I ever wrote a fic based on this scene :) so here I am. I shamelessly abused of italics in this one, heh

Also, I have a long-ish DISCLAIMER to make, that applies to all my works and not only this one. I think it's important to address that in this fic I won't mention the topic illustrated in the episode: this work mostly revolves around the famous line "Derek talks about you", said by Derek's sister to Spencer. My purpose was to write a "light" awkward/fluffy fic - almost love confession if you will - avoiding to focus on Derek's history of abuse. I think that's too delicate and serious of a topic for me to try and describe it merely through Derek's words/thoughts; especially considering that I should "filter" this narrative to fit my actual, sole scope of rendering Morgan + Reid's relationship. I actually HAVE focused more overtly on the Buford arc before, in my One shot 8, referencing a much late episode, but I hope I managed to dissuade anyone who read it from thinking that my intent was to romanticize the sexual abuse Derek suffered. Even though I admittedly enjoy reading fics based on the abused/care-taker trope, I still think it's risky to treat such topics if the writer's purpose isn't to convey some sort of "moral". Which is exactly why I'm always reluctant to treat directly and in depth Morgan's trauma as well as Reid's drug addiction: I haven't experienced either of these things, hence I don't think I'd be able to illustrate them properly and without triggering anyone who might be sensitive to said topics. Thank you if you dedicated your time to reading this intro, I hope the message is clear and of easy understanding :) <3

Read it on AO3

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"Derek talks about you."

Reid couldn't stop replaying that phrase in his head, in an endless loop.

In the exact moment Sarah had said that, his immediate reaction had been to smile - like a total idiot, by the way - but now that everything was over and Spencer had the time to think about it, he couldn't help but wonder what she meant.

"Talk" how? "Talk" doesn't mean anything. It just means SAYING things, PRONOUNCING words. Did he say good stuff? Or did he make fun of him? Why did she feel the need to let him know that Morgan "talked" about him? He must've talked about Emily too, sometimes, but Sarah didn't say "Derek talks about both of you ".

He hadn't had the time to deepen the topic because as soon as he replied - "he does??" : again, a complete moron - Emily interrupted them to, righteously, get back to the actual subject: Carl Buford.

The second Reid remembered about it, all those dumb questions wandering in his head vanished. Poof. How could he keep obsessing about that stupid phrase while Morgan was going through what he was going through? Derek had trusted him enough to tell only him, besides Hotch and Gideon, and what was Spencer doing? Thinking about "Derek talks about you". He probably had MENTIONED him, or said, like: "oh you know there's this kid in my unit, socially awkward, total nerd, only thing he does is read like 20 books a da-"

"Reid?"

Emily's voice came loud like a train crushing into his ear drums. Spencer winced in his swivel chair.

"Mh?" he mumbled, looking up at her.

"...are you gonna go home or you're planning to keep working?" she asked him, jokingly.

"Yeah, no, I- I mean, yes I'm going home, no I have no intention to keep working, trust me..." he replied distractedly, checking his watch. It was 9:30 pm: not even that late...so why was she asking? Spencer had the sudden impression that she wanted something, and THAT was just a lame excuse to start a conversation.

"I was just double checking an e-mail I had to send." he continued, noticing that she wasn't even wearing her coat, neither had her bag in hand. She could've studied the scene better.

"Oh- yeah...your computer is off but, whatevs" she shrugged, pointing at the black desktop. He could've studied his scene better, too.

He looked at where she was pointing for a second, then stood up and grabbed his satchel.

"I know I was uhm...just, thinking about a thing " he said, understanding why literally everybody labeled him as a bad liar. Still, he didn't wanna spit it all out.

"A thing ?" she echoed him, raising her brows.

"Yes, a-" Reid interrupted himself before he had even decided how to phrase the thing to keep it vague enough. He saw Morgan get out of Hotch's office and heading quickly toward the sliding doors of the bullpen, with his head down.

"...a thing. Gotta go, see you tomorrow!" he said in a rush, quickly walking in Derek's direction without making it too obvious that he was basically running toward him.

"Spencer! Wait- wait a second." she said grabbing his arm from behind, after he'd only got 15 ft far.

He turned around, frowning.

"I, uhm, I don't think he's in the mood to...talk ? right now..." Emily said softly, with an awkward smile on her face.

"You know?" she added, tilting her head, hoping that she wouldn't have to explain further.

Spencer gulped, adjusting his glasses on the bridge of his nose. She was right, and if only she'd known the whole story, she would've been even righter. If there's even such a thing as being more right than...right.

"Yes, I- I know, but I wasn't planning on talking about... about that, I just have to ask him this... thing." he replied slightly embarrassed, looking down at the floor.

"Is the 'thing' you wanna ask him the same 'thing' you were thinking about earlier?"

"...yes" he answered almost murmuring, like it was some kind of secret - which is what it was still supposed to be, to her: a secret. Because, in the end, he hadn't even TOLD her, so how did she KNOW? How did she do that? Emily always did that. Fuck.

"And is this 'thing' what I think it is?" she pried, lowering her voice to the same volume of Spencer's.

"I...I don't know?" he replied, only not to give her the satisfaction of receiving the millionth "yes". But the answer was: yes.

"Then go, ask him the 'thing'. " Emily concluded, nodding her chin in the elevator's direction.

Spencer leveled his eyes with hers, gladly noticing a reassuring look of complicity appear on her face.

He nodded, smiling at her in a silly way before turning around.

Spencer quickly headed toward the elevator, hoping Derek hadn't got too far in the meantime - or, even worse: had already started his car.

He saw the elevator doors closing.

"Wait! Hold it!" he shouted, speaking to whoever was inside it.

He ran, jumping in between the doors.

Morgan was inside. Of course. What the hell was he still doing there? Did...did he wait for him? No, that was impossible and way too optimistic. He'd probably bumped into Penelope, who had kept him talking in the hallway for an amount of time nearing a decade.

They stared at each other for a solid 20 seconds, gaping, while the doors closed behind Spencer's back, leaving them alone - luckily.

Spencer figured the unsteadiness of his breathing wasn't due to the "run" anymore. He gave up on trying to slow it down, and decided he was going to speak up first, since Derek still looked frozen like an ice cube. Maybe he was annoyed by Spencer's presence, and he just wanted to avoid starting a conversation to make the interaction as quick as possible and finally go hom-

"R- Reid" Derek's thorough and slightly hoarse voice broke the silence.

"I was kinda looking for you, earlier. Gave up at a certain point." he added, smiling a bit. He looked... embarrassed? Was that even possible? For Derek Morgan to be embarrassed?

Spencer swallowed nervously, flattered. "Me too, actually."

Derek opened his mouth like he wanted to say something first, before the other could continue. But he got interrupted by the doors opening up again behind Spencer.

He pointed at the empty lobby with his finger, seeing that Reid hadn't even noticed they'd arrived at ground floor already.

Spencer turned around. They got out and he stopped 3 ft from the elevator, standing still, fiddling nervously with his hands. Was Derek expecting him to follow him or something? Were they gonna talk the next day? Or was he supposed to drop the topic forever because time was up?

Derek, who had got ahead in the meantime, turned around.

"You comin?" he asked, non-chalantly.

"Uhm, yeah- where?" Spencer replied, finally taking jogging steps forward to reach him, feeling like the marble floor was starting to sink under the soles of his Converses from standing there for so long.

"I'll give you a ride home. I don't know how you take the subway every fucking day." Derek replied, snorting.

Spencer smiled back, shyly.

"...thanks" he mumbled, looking down at his feet while walking outside with him, their arms only a couple of inches from touching.

They stayed silent until they arrived to the car. When they did, Derek stopped before either of them could get in.

"Listen, uh, I- I hope you're not gonna ask me stuff about... about Buford because honestly I can't take anymore pity-faces. Especially yours." he said in a deep tone.

"Nonono, no, absolutely not- I mean, if you ever wanna talk about it I'm here but I'm not- I don't wanna pressure you or anything." Spencer answered defensively, feeling his heartbeat racing. He wondered what he meant by "especially yours". Was his pity-face more annoying than the others'? Apparently, saying indecipherable phrases that made Reid go paranoid was a Morgans' family thing.

He saw Morgan nodding uncomfortably. Reid gazed silently at him for a bit, taking a careful look of him as a whole. He didn't look good- well, what the hell, of course he looked good, but he didn't look ok. He seemed exhausted and quite anxious - understandably. Nobody had ever seen him like that, and honestly it freaked Spencer out a little. The first thing that popped into his mind, was that such behavior was partially his fault; hence, he spoke up, trying to put a halt to it.

"You know what, I'm- it's late, actually, and you look like you need to stay alone for a while so, I'm just gonna take the subway it's no big dea-"

"No, kid, can you just- can you just stay ? Please..." Derek interrupted him, grabbing his thin wrist before he could get any further.

Spencer's heart warmed up. He eyed down at Derek's grip, unprepared to how even such a faint touch was sending goosebumps all over his arm. Much to his relief, not one but two layers of clothing - shirt AND jacket - hid that reaction from the other man's sight.

"Alright." Reid nodded after a bit, not because he was undecided, but because he was trying to get a hold of said goosebumps. He raised his gaze again to smile idiotically at him.

Derek grinned back apologetically, before ultimately making his way around the car to get in the driver's seat.

"So, I heard that you and Prentiss were the ones who had to go talk to my family, am I right?" he asked, with a tone and a way of phrasing the question that was nothing short of a desperate attempt to make it sound low-key and casual. Especially since he chose to say it while opening the car door. Like it didn't matter that much, or at least not enough to say it once he'd be sitting down comfortably. Unfortunately for him, Spencer picked up on all of that.

"Yeah!" Spencer answered, a little too enthusiastically for one who was trying with all his strength not to give the impression that he wanted to talk exactly about that, that he basically read his mind. Unfortunately for him, Derek picked up on those kind of things too - after all, they were paid to do it. To understand behavior. At times they forgot how much more difficult that made their mutual interactions, as well as more authentic.

Derek smiled to himself a little bit and started the car.

"So, how were they?" he asked teasingly, knowing that even if Spencer thought they were the worst people in the world, he would've never told him so. His heart was too pure.

"They're really nice. And they care a lot about you. You're lucky like that..." Spencer replied lowering his voice, revealing a slightly melancholic inflection.

Derek catched a glimpse of him while driving. He knew he wasn't referring to his mom, but to his dad. And he knew there was a big difference between how he lost his own dad and how Spencer lost his: Derek's father died. Spencer's father purposely left him: grabbed his shit, got on his feet, walked away from his wife and son. How a father could do that, was something that Derek would never understand.

"The cake was good, wasn't it?" he asked after a few seconds of heavy silence, trying to lift up the mood.

Spencer finally shifted his eyes to look at him. "Yeah, definitely" he answered, and Derek's mission could be considered accomplished, as a sweet smile appeared on his colleague's face; sweeter than that cake they were talking about - yes, Morgan thought about such comparison. He could've compared it with another million sweet things: caramel like his eyes; honey like his hair under the sunlight; strawberry like the color of his lips... Oh. Dammit.

"I wanna ask you a thing, though..." the sweet voice of the man object of his current fantasies gently snapped Derek out of his thoughts.

"What's that?" Derek asked, hiding the fact that he was shitting his pants wondering what Spencer's question could possibly be.

Spencer nervously played with the buckle of his leather bag, resting on his lap.

"Your sisters, both of them they- they immediately recognized me." he stayed vague. " "Doctor Reid" " he added making the 'quote' gesture with his fingers, smiling self-complacently.

"Well, yeah, we've been working together for...2 years or something, right?" Derek kept the dumb-play going, as if he hadn't basically been keeping count since.

"...2 years and 18 days to be precise...but anyway," Spencer paused to clear his voice. "Sarah, she specifically said that...uhm...that you talk about me. She- she said: 'Derek talks about you'."

Morgan abruptly hit the brakes of his car to stop at a red light that he noticed at the last second, distracted by what Reid had just said, making him wince.

"Wow. Well- fuck, my sisters really don't how to shut their mouths, do they?" he said, laughing a bit nervously.

"Well they- they didn't say anything- I mean, they just said that you "talk" about me but I'm guessing you talk about all of us, of cours-"

"No, Spencer. She meant a specific thing." Morgan interrupted him softly, parking his car. Yes: they'd already arrived at Reid's place.

After a long silence, during which Reid's face remained stuck in a confused scowl, Morgan turned off the car. He sighed, before turning slightly to his right to stare into Reid's hazelnut-hued eyes. Talking to him while driving was easier, because he couldn't look at that face of his. But now that he could, it got x10 times more difficult.

"She didn't say it to Emily, or both. She said it to you. Am I right?" Morgan was shamelessly giving up, gradually crumbling under the look the other was giving him.

Spencer nodded.

"...did you wonder why ?" he didn't wanna say it. God, he DID NOT wanna say it.

"Yes, I- I did, but honestly the only good answer I could come up with was that Emily hasn't been in the unit as long as I have so...I don't know, we still don't know her that well...?" Spencer replied, stuttering.

"That, too." Derek paused. He was thinking about a proper way to say it without freaking Spencer out. He didn't wanna say "it's because I like you", since he wasn't sure he did. Well, of course he LIKED him, but he still hadn't quite figured out if he liked him in that way.

Plus, he'd obviously noticed that Spencer, too, felt something...different. He was sure neither of them had a clue of what to do with it; on the other hand, he was also sure he had to give him a hint, one way or another. To make sure Reid understood that he wasn't imagining it, that there was something different. Even though that "something" didn't have a name yet. Maybe it would, some day.

After thinking for a long time, during which Spencer respectfully stayed silent, the "right" words found their way into Derek's mind, brooming away the dust that had been weighing down on his courage to say them all along.

"A'ight. 3 or 4 months ago I spent a weekend with my family. I don't know if you remember that I didn't come to get drinks with you guys cause I had to leave early in the morning." he started. Spencer nodded - of course he remembered. Dumb question.

"Ok so, one day I was... talking about you with them at dinner, I'm not sure what I was saying, honestly...but after a while Desirée said a thing that made me think." Derek paused, leaning closer to Spencer to make sure he listened carefully.

"She said, quote unquote: 'you know how you always say that Reid gets excited when he rambles about statistics? Well, that's kinda what you do when you talk about him...It's like, he's YOUR statistics'."

Spencer kept looking quietly into Derek's black eyes, without blinking once.

"She... s- she said that?" he then asked, just to be, you know, sure that he wasn't dreaming.

"Mhmh." Derek nodded shortly. "I remember it like it was yesterday. Guess some of that memory of yours must have rubbed off on me, huh?" he grinned brightly.

The burning shade of red staining Spencer's cheeks didn't but spread further, even if he had to bite back a: "that's not possible, Morgan; it doesn't work like that."

Derek continued. "When she said it, at first I thought she was fucking around, but then it's like...it opened my eyes. I- I don't know. I guess I don't even notice when I do it." he shook his head and stared blankly at an undefined spot outside, as if trying to clear his thoughts.

"...just like when we have to stop you from throwing up random statistics that literally nobody asked for." Morgan concluded cocking his head, with a playful and affectionate smile.

Reid giggled, now feeling his whole face on fire and his heart hammering into his ears. He was speechless. For once.

Derek gently placed his warm hand on the back of Spencer's neck, while the other man kept looking down at his bag, biting his bottom lip so hard he thought it could bleed.

"Do you talk about me to your mom?" Derek asked after a while, almost whispering. He kept his eyes glued on Spencer, even though he had clearly no intention of looking back at him any time soon. He wanted to catch every inch of his facial reaction.

"Should I be prepared for her telling me 'Spencer talks about you' if I ever meet her?" he kept the volume of his voice low, starting to stroke Spencer's neck with his thumb and smiling when he saw faint shivers appear on his skin.

"...m- maybe" Spencer answered, not wanting to reveal that literally 70% of the things he told his mom involved him, of which 40% were specifically about him.

Spencer managed to find a crumb of courage to shift his look and finally return Derek's gaze. But as soon as his so-fucking-handsome face reached his sight, along with that way his pupils were staring into him - a way he couldn't quite decipher but didn't mind, after all - he had to jerk his eyes away immediately, or else his heart would've burst out of his ribcage.

Hence, he decided to quickly and distractedly check his watch.

"I- I should probably go now..." he said. He didn't say it because he wanted to - oh, he SO didn't want to go - he just, had to. He didn't wanna ruin things. He wanted to keep that moment fixated into his memory just like it was, hoping many others like that one would come in the future.

"Yeah, you should..." Derek said, shifting farther from him in his seat and taking his hand off of Spencer's soft neck. It was so hard, to stop touching him, it seemed like when you try to split apart two magnets too strongly attracted to one another.

Spencer got out of the car, closing the door behind his back. He turned around and bent to look at Derek from outside.

"Wait!" he squealed, tapping his knuckles against the glass.

Derek, who had already started the car, pulled down the window to hear him better, looking at him confused. "Forgot something?"

"No! No, well- yes. I wanted to ask you one more thing." he paused, scrunching his nose. "What did you mean when you said that- that you can't take especially my pity-face?"

Derek bit his bottom lip. "Nothing too hard to understand." he said, with an enigmatic tone. Now, Spencer was the one looking confused.

"It's just way more painful to handle. Cause it's a much prettier face than the others'."

Spencer looked down, chuckling and nodding like he meant to say: 'oh, yeah, that. Of course.'

"See ya tomorrow, Pretty Boy." Derek said in the end, winking and rolling the window back up to finally leave.

Spencer was left there, standing and freezing cold, not knowing what to do with himself.

His phone buzzed into the pocket of his pants, giving him something else to concentrate on, something that wasn't that face, or that voice, or that smile, or that hand on his neck...something that wasn't related to Derek Morgan.

It was a text. From... Emily:

"So how'd the 'thing' go?" Duh. Of course it had to be the umpteenth thing related to Derek Morgan.

He smiled at the screen of his phone. Once again: like a complete idiot.

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lokisasylum · 4 years

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Map of the Soul: 7 Album - First listen review

[I won’t bother reviewing the ones from PERSONA that were added, since I already did a post for Persona when it came out. Only the new songs]

#1. Interlude: SHADOW

WOW.... just when you thought the first version hit hard/differently. The extended version comes in to choke-slam you against the wall.

#2. Black Swan

Our new Royal to take a spot in the throne of power along with Blood Sweat & Tears, Spring Day, Fake Love, and Outro: TEAR.

Do we even need to add more additional to what we’ve been saying since its release? As an artist, the lyrics still pull at my heart strings the same way they did the first time I heard it. Especially the verse that says:

‘If this can no longer resonate No longer make my heart vibrate Then like this may be how I die my first death But what if that moment’s right now Right now .’

This verse can be applied to ANY time we loose faith in ourselves or have to give up on a dream/passion and how that separation slowly kills us inside.

#3. Filter (Jimin’s solo)

....Not gonna lie, this song gives me TRUST ISSUES just because its Jimin LOL!

‘Cause I remember seeing & hearing Serendipity for the first time and it was such a lovely melody and the lyrics were so soothing like a lullaby expressing Love in its purest form.

But then you see the choreo and it all went Magic Mike SO FAST X”D.

Because on one hand the lyrics (at first glance) can be interpreted as Jimin seeing himself through Army’s eyes. How WE see his “Duality” - cute/adorable/lovely one minute and then sensual/tantalizing the next.

That boring expression of yours, boring feet Please look at me now Put down your phone, don’t even think about turning your head Let me know your type You can choose and use me yeah

Oh I cover your eyes with my hand Oh go towards the secret I’ll take you to a brand new world Yeah open your closed eyes now go!

Mix the colors of the palette, pick your filter Which me do you want? The one who’s going to change your world, I’m your filter Cover it over your heart

(Ok) How is it, do you feel it a bit? Is it still not enough? (Yes) Girl you have your chance I can be your Genie How ’bout Aladdin? I’ll become anything [for you] You can choose and use me yeah

That first part really does sound like how he would accommodating his “Persona” to make us happy. And every-time something he does isn’t enough he changes again.

Of course this doesn’t have to mean what he’s doing in the present, “Filter” could be just like “Lie” which spoke of his past-self and how he used to blame himself for the group’s failures. So maybe he’s expressing how’s he’s had to change himself throughout the years to please the fans as long as they understood and accepted who HE REALLY IS beyond the Idol persona.

Or y’know, this is just a very sexy number he wanted to try and shy away from his comfort zone XD. And I’ll bet all my money that the choreo’s gonna be SEXY AF and WE AIN’T READY FOR IT.

P.S. that moment when the music stops and he goes: “OKAY.” WITH HIS SEXY DEEP AF VOICE, JESUS!!!!

#4. My Time (Jungkook’s solo)

Kook’s solo not only reminded me heavily of “Begin”, but it also sounds like what “Decalcomania” should’ve been if he had released the full version.

He’s seeing himself not as an Idol, but not quite as Jeon Jeongguk either.

Like he’s just standing in the middle watching his two selves, his two Personas and trying to find which one is his. Which reality he is living in--or should be living in. Which part of his life belongs to his “normal/non Idol self” and which one is part of the mask/Idol self he puts up for the fans.

And yes, you know, yes. you know Oh I can’t call ya, I can’t touch ya Oh I can’t Let me know Can I someday find my time? Finna find my time Someday finna find my time

This verse sounds like he’s still experiencing that loneliness that all artists experience during stardom very often (Note on how in Shadow Yoongi is the one who says: “Nobody ever told me how lonely it is up here.” ). Like how he sometimes wishes he could tell someone, but can’t?

#5. Louder than bombs

All rise for our National Anthem!

If Shadow hit hard while choke slamming you. Then this song is the overkill.

The vocals are insane, and the lyrics mixed with the music tell one story through two points of view. Actor in the spotlight and Actor as a Spectator.

This is BTS telling us how people view them and having to keep their emotions in check in the face of criticism from general audience and even antis, versus how they truly feel inside and behind close doors.

Break, unwind, let it out, breathe out, stand up, pray for better days and keep moving.

#6. ON

THIS👏SONG👏FUCKING👏SLAPS👏PERIOD👏!

The energy, the rap line, the vocal line, the CRAZY FOOTWORK AND INSANE CHOREO.

THE JIKOOK NIP-SLIPS

THE BODY ROLLS

THE TATTOOS---

THE SUBTLE “GO FUCK YOURSELF!”

I LOVED IT and it gave me such a strong throwback to NOT TODAY.

#7. UGH!

This is CYPHER_pt3 Killer, CYPHER pt. 4, TEAR & DDAENG’s lovechild.

This song is the Rap Line going like: “THESE MOTHERFUCKERS WANTED TO TRY ME (AGAIN) AND IMMA GIVE THESE BITCHES A CYPHER.

BITCHES LOVE CYPHERS.”

#8. 00.00 (Zero o’ Clock)

When I saw that we were having another Vocal Line unit song the first thing I kept praying for was: “PLEASE don’t let this be another Truth Untold...”

Because I absolutely HATED the hypocrisy that came out of this fandom ESPECIALLY the toxic Solo Stans who did nothing but hype up their faves while shitting on other members (I will never forgive those who went so far as to defame and even act as if Jimin wasn’t part of the Vocal Line, ya’ll are still trash for that).

But I gotta say Zero o’ Clock was totally something I can see them enjoying while performing. Despite, of course, the song talking about hardships and finding a new way to be happy throughout the tough times even when you don’t feel like smiling.

I liked it, the vibes are a bit like “2,3″ and “Magic Shop”. A song for HEALING.

#9. Friends (VMIN sub-unit)

VMIN

SOULMATES FOREVER.

I also LOVED that they added the voice messages Jimin & Tae used to leave each other since their recording schedules were different and they didn’t see each other. That was such a nice touch. T_T

That little “Hello my Alien” .... that made me emotional. I kept imagining those mischievous kids running around playing pranks on the other members, like that one time they made Hobi fall off the chair and got chased by him XD ...*SOBS*

#10. Inner Child (Taehyung’s solo)

All the time I kept listening to this song I kept imagining Taehyung sitting in a park next to his Younger Self, like the way a father sits with their youngest son and talks to them about life. What to expect, what will change and how to go about these changes.

Really heartfelt song.

#11. Moon (Jin’s solo)

Just like Tae’s song, “Moon” makes me thinking of all those moments when Jin kept doing his “Heart Event” where he kept pulling out hearts out of nowhere. Each time more clever than the first, just to show ARMY how much he loves us.

I wonder all of a sudden, do you really know yourself? Do you know how pretty you are? I will orbit you I will stay by your side I will become your light All for you

This part in particular makes me think of Jin up on stage staring at a stadium full of bright little stars that are in reality Army Bombs.

#12. Respect (Namgi Unit-song)

Fave verse from this song is:

“Re-spect”, it’s literally looking again and again Looking again and again and you’ll see faults But despite of that you still want to look

And the fact that you have two members of different ages (Hyung/Donsaeng), in a sort of conversation that goes back and forth between what the real meaning of “RESPECT” is and how people throw the word around, even those who speak ill of others behind their backs.

And were they talking in Satoori in the end??? That was nice XD

#13. We are Bulletproof: the Eternal

Throw stones at me We don’t fear anymore We are we are together bulletproof (Yeah we have you have you) Even if winter comes again Even if I’m blocked off, I will still walk We are we are forever bulletproof (Yeah we got to heaven)

#14. Outro: EGO (Jhope’s Solo)

EGO is Jhope and Jhope is EGO in all it’s glory.

Like “Just Dance” i like the contrast how in EGO he’s doing a back-track to his younger self, how he used to dance to prove something TO OTHERS, where as now that he’s older he just accepts that everything that happened is just part of life. So he’s a happier now doing what he loves BECAUSE he loves to dance.

#15. ON (feat. Sia)

....WHY?

Like... I don’t wanna be THAT BITCH and drag nobody, but like... was this really necessary?

I mean atleast Nicki Minage and Halsey had their own parts that they owned like the bad bitches that they are.

But like...

Yeah, Imma stop right here.

62 notes · View notes

peter-parkers-passport · 4 years

Text

Flower Child (Peter Parker x ofc)

Chapter 5: “Peter Knows Spider-Man!”

warnings: depictions of anxiety, Flash being an ass, awkward teenage parties

Lila’s tears had dried by the time she entered the bathroom. Needing a minute to herself, she decided the best course of action would be the girl’s restroom down the left-hand corridor on the second floor. It was a bathroom that was barely used, and was more so a place that the girls of Midtown deemed a safe-zone. Anyone could go in, feel their emotions, and no one would judge. It was a sort of unspoken tradition that only enforced Lila’s appreciation of women.

So naturally, no one cornered her into expressing what was wrong with her. She merely walked up to a mirror and began applying the concealer that Peter had given back to her. A large part of her was completely shocked that he even still kept it. She’d given it to him months ago, and had nearly forgotten about it herself. A smaller, less voluntary part of her completely melted at the gesture. When he held out the Covergirl disc in his hands, her legs nearly buckled right then and there. It took all of her willpower not to break down into horrible sobs once again, mostly stemming from his kindness. When she took the makeup from him, when she felt her hand brush his, she knew there was no way that she could ever let someone like Peter pass her by.

As she dabbed the concealer to the bruise on her temple, Lila paused. She took a moment to look at herself in the mirror. Since her hair was pulled back, she could see her pale skin reflect harshly in the bathroom light, and the vast contradiction the dark red left around her eyes. Even her lips were paler than usual, something Lila didn’t think was possible. Gaunt was the only word to come to mind when she thought to describe herself in that mirror. Suddenly, a loud laugh just outside the door caused her to jump and whirl around. The sound quickly died off, and Lila realized it was just a student passing by the bathroom, no doubt on their way to class. Lila sighed, and turned back to the mirror, only this time, she studied the glass rather than herself.

There were several encouraging notes written on the mirrors that lined the bathroom, ranging from Remember: You’re Beautiful to You’re Doing Amazing, Sweetie! and more. Lila even found an Eleanor Roosevelt quote along the words, and smiled softly as she read it. It was a sheer miracle that the teachers seemed to leave the graffiti alone, but it was more likely that students some time ago petitioned to leave it up. Whatever the case, Lila was grateful, as the messages began to fill her with more hope.

The second time she was interrupted, it was through her cellphone. Still eyeing the writing on the mirror, she produced her phone from her jean pocket. A quick glance at her phone was all she needed to know about who was calling her. The picture that came up was a picture Lila had taken one Saturday, when the sun was shining down after a brief rainstorm, and the colors reflected beautifully on the girl’s glasses.

The phone wasn’t even up to Lila’s ear when Sophie practically shouted, “Phish Food! Phish Food - Lila - oh, my God - Lila are you okay?”

Pursing her lips, Lila’s eyes lingered on an RBG quote as she tried to keep the tears at bay. “Um - define okay.” She tore her gaze off the mirror, off the girl staring back at her that she didn’t quite recognize. She put her back against the far wall and slowly sank down to the floor, getting comfortable. “How much did my dad tell you?”

“Um - absolutely nothing. I know you, and I know that you totally would’ve gone to Delmar’s after we canceled our dinner. I’m standing outside of it right now, were you - were you here last night?”

Lila was nodding, and then she remembered Sophie wasn’t with her. Her hand that wasn’t holding her cellphone started pinching her leg, almost like a reminder that the only place last night could still hurt her was in her head. And in her injuries, but Lila pushed that aside. “If I say yes, are you going to feel bad about it? Because if that’s the case-”

“Oh, screw my feelings, Delilah Landry-” Full name. Not a great sign. “-were you there last night? Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Lila said after a shaky breath. “Yeah, I was there last night.”

“Babe…” There was a pause on the other end, filled with a lot of hidden meaning. Lila wondered if pity was coming her way, something she’d be quick to shut down. Instead, Sophie merely asked, “Do you wanna talk about it?”

That was it. No pressure, no pestering for an answer, just Sophie, lending her support to Lila, who didn’t realize how much she actually needed it. And it was there, on the bathroom floor of the girl’s bathroom that Lila worked through what happened to her with someone: explaining everything that happened in the deli, from the robbers to the blast of purple light to her bruised ribs. She didn’t know it until she was spilling her guts out to Sophie did she understand it was exactly what would help her. Lila wasn’t a bottler, she couldn’t help but express her emotions whenever she felt them, something she had to attend years of therapy to understand wasn’t actually a sign of weakness. It was nice to be able to talk it through and feel everything she needed to with a girl like Sophie listening in on the other side.

So when the tears dried, and Lila finished her story, a heavy sigh left her lips as she got off the emotional rollercoaster. Sophie was a phenomenal listener, waiting until the very end to really speak again. “I have a lot of questions, but my number one is that you’re absolutely sure you’re okay, right?”

“Yeah,” Lila answered, really believing it. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

“Okay good, because I didn’t want my next statement to be insensitive.”

Her lips twitched into the barest resemblance of a smile. “Shoot.”

The excitement in Sophie’s voice was uncontainable. “I just can’t believe you met the Spider-Man.” She paused just enough to hear Lila’s small laugh. “Seriously! I’m freaking out, over here. Queens’ newest hero just happens to save your life, and you’re kind of brushing it off like it’s no big deal. I have so many questions.”

“I am at your disposal, Soph,” Lila commented, and let Sophie launch into the rant she’d been dying to go off on the entire phone call. Ranging from What’s the composition of Spider-Man’s webs? Does he smell good? and the last question, which caught Lila off guard being if Lila actually knew Spider-Man. She laughed a genuine laugh at that question, and Sophie, being the actual journalist, backed up her question. The way he reportedly seemed to crack jokes with the criminals he caught as well as how eyewitness reports seem to think his voice is slightly higher in pitch than a fully grown adult. Lila responded by asking Sophie if she really knew his identity, would Sophie really expect Lila to indulge a secret like that?

“You make a valid point, Phish Food. With great secrets comes great responsibility.”

“Where did you hear that?” Lila asked, laughing a bit.

“Eh, some old guy was saying something along those lines. He came into the shop yesterday. It was really cute, Lila, he was one of those cool older people. I think he said his name was Stan-” A noise sounded, and Lila heard Sophie curse lowly to herself. “Crap. I gotta get back to work, Phish Food. I love you, though. Like a lot. And now that you’ve been rescued by a superhero, you have no excuse to not be on my podcast. Gotta go, love you, bye!” She hung up before Lila could protest.

Lila scoffed, baffled at the nerve Sophie had. But also, she found herself smiling regardless. From the other side of the bathroom doors, Lila could hear the class bell ringing, and Lila checked her phone in surprise. She’d missed her entire first period just talking to Sophie. But the funny thing was, the Lila of yesterday might have cared, but the Lila sitting on the bathroom floor, was just a little okay with bending around the rules. Maybe, Lila thought, a near-death experience could be a good new look for her.

She slowly got up from the floor, ribs screaming in protest, and looked at herself in the mirror. Even though her eyes were still red from crying, the green color of her irises didn’t seem as dull. And at least she couldn’t see the bruise that was sitting on her hairline anymore, thanks to Peter Parker and the makeup he returned. She was still pale, and everything about her still screamed exhausted. She looked gaunt, but Lila reminded herself that she also looked alive, and she’d gladly take that. Leaving the bathroom, she texted her dad to ask for a pass out of the first period she missed, and prepared for the rest of the day.

*****

“You didn’t ditch me this morning because of what happened last night, right?” Michelle asked her, pulling her gym shirt over her head. Lila glanced up at her, startled at her question. She hadn’t gotten around to telling Michelle about what had happened at the bodega, and was waiting for lunch.

Looking around to make sure the other girls weren’t listening, Lila looked back over to Michelle. “Does everyone know I was at Delmar’s last night?”

They were sitting in the girl’s locker room, everyone but Lila changing into school mandated gym clothes. Apparently, they were to be doing a Captain America fitness challenge. Lila wasn’t sorry to be missing out on it at all. Instead, her computer bag rested next to her, as Lila decided to edit Sophie’s next podcast episode like she’d promised her the night before. She wouldn’t be doing anything worthwhile anyway. At Lila’s question, MJ shook her head. “No, your dad texted me. Asked me to keep an eye on you.”

“He didn’t,” Lila’s stomach sank.

“He did.” Lila groaned a little bit at MJ’s news. The girl in question gave her a suspicious glance, and Lila could’ve sworn there was a hint of concern in there as well. She was only proven right when Michelle asked, “Just as long as you don’t collapse on me, we’re fine.” A pause, and then, “We don’t have to talk about it.”

The last sentence was slightly softer, more genuine than her usual standoffish attitude. It took Lila off guard, but when she looked up at MJ, her face was all seriousness, not at all betraying to the other girls in the locker room that she was showing any kindness to another person. Lila reached for her hand and squeezed it tightly, acknowledging her best friend with as much gratitude as Michelle would be comfortable with. “We can talk at lunch?”

“Sure.” Michelle grabbed her book that was sitting next to Lila’s bag, as well as Lila’s bag, ignoring Lila’s protests all the way into the gym. The gym was dark, and Coach Wilson was currently setting up a television to sit in front of a group of kids who had already sat down. There weren’t many in the gym currently, but Lila did notice she got a few curious stares at her attire, and how she wasn’t ready for gym at all.

She ignored it, following Michelle up the stairs of the bleachers and into the back row of students. Sitting down and getting comfortable, Michelle handed Lila back her backpack, and merely nodded when Lila said thanks. The pair watched as the rest of the students filed in, and all sat down in front of the television. Lila’s heart skipped a beat when Peter Parker came up the stairs, offered her a smile, and sat down right in front of her. It didn’t escape her attention that his friend Ned, who was always an upbeat person, was looking at Peter with uncontainable excitement.

After the bell rang, Coach Wilson stood next to the television and pressed play. Before long, an image of Captain America came up against a shoddy green screen background, and a cheesy banner underneath reading Captain America’s Fitness Challenge. Michelle cracked open her book, and Lila pulled her computer and headphones out of her bag, opening the file Sophie had sent her the previous night and listening to her friend’s most recent episode of Origin Story. All the while, she kept one headphone out of her ear in case Coach Wilson said something important.

After the video was over, Coach mentioned something about how Captain America was a war criminal, but his videos were still required by the state, and sent everyone on their way. Lila moved down a few stairs with her things to stay closer to the class, and started diving into Sophie’s podcast. Her episode was funny, as usual, and balanced the topic material (“If the Ultron Program Were a Success”) with insightful questions and well-developed theories. Her guest for the episode (some Richard or other) was equally as inquisitive and humorous, and Lila silently praised Sophie for her choice.

The thought of Sophie wanting Lila to be on her podcast had Lila’s head swimming. She’d mentioned it before, but was never as dead-set as she seemed to be when talking to Lila on the phone that morning. A part of her was incredibly flattered, Lila had listened to every episode of Origin Story and thought that Sophie’s guests were incredibly brilliant and equally as entertaining to listen to. It was nice that Sophie seemed to think that Lila was just as capable of being someone like that. But the thought also made her slightly nervous, what if she didn’t meet Sophie’s standards? What if Sophie had to re-record an entire episode in a week because Lila had no idea what she was doing? What if-?

“Peter knows Spider-Man!” A voice echoed around the now silent gym. Everyone, including Lila, stopped what they were doing to look at Peter Parker and Ned Leeds. Ned’s face, which was agape with shock, almost like he couldn’t believe he’d spoken those words out loud, was trained on a group of students to the left of Lila and down a few stairs. She looked his way and saw Liz Allan and Betty Brant sitting around a few other friends. She glanced back to Peter, whose eyes were wide with surprise, quickly turning back between Ned and Liz. He quickly scrambled to his feet (he had previously been doing sit-ups that Lila would not-so-subtly look at every now and then), a stuttering mess.

“No, I don’t. I - I - I mean…” He trailed off, looking slightly confused and panicked. He glanced at Lila, almost like he was asking for help from anyone. She could only stare at him, eyes wide in shock. Unconsciously, she ran her fingers across her hairline, feeling the bump that was still there, only covered in makeup. Kids started going back to their fitness challenge, better at getting over the apparent bombshell that Ned just dropped.

“They’re friends,” Ned added, trying to help the situation. Lila looked at Peter’s expression, which seemed to say that that was the least helpful thing Ned could’ve mentioned. Peter’s gaze landed on Liz again, who quietly looked at Peter in confusion.

A thud sounded, followed by a voice Lila didn’t care to hear at that moment. “Yeah, like Coach Wilson and Captain America are friends.” Flash Thompson, who was across the gym, walked over from the set of ropes he was climbing, laughing dubiously at Ned’s statement. His jab earned a few laughs, but Liz wasn’t one of them. Instead, her eyes were trained on Peter, who looked like he’d rather be anywhere else than standing there. Lila’s heart ached, she knew the feeling all too well.

“I’ve - I’ve met him, yeah,” Peter shrugged, almost like he was downplaying what his friend had told the class. “A couple of times. But it’s - um - through the Stark internship.” He nodded at Flash, who still had that awful smirk on his face. Lila put her computer to the side, ready to leap up at a moment’s notice if things got hairy. She looked over to Coach Wilson, who’d completely lost interest, and was staring at the clock almost wistfully. Peter glanced back to Ned, “Yeah, well, I’m not really supposed to talk about it.”

“Well that’s awesome,” Flash said sarcastically. “Hey, you know what? Maybe you should invite him to Liz’s party, right?” He pointed at Liz, putting her on the spot.

She smiled softly, “Yeah - um - I’m having people over tonight. You’re more than welcome to come.”

Peter seemed to forget why he was on the spot, and his eyes lit up with a bit of hope. As his voice grew softer, Lila swallowed the jealousy sitting in the back of her throat. “You’re h-having a party?”

“Yeah, it’s gonna be dope,” Flash said, bringing everyone back to why Peter was coming in the first place. “You should totally invite your personal friend Spider-Man.”

“He’s a little too busy fighting c-crime to go to a high - a high school party, don’t you th-think, Flash?” Lila tried, but Flash ignored her, only waved her off, making her a little more angry.

“It’s okay,” Liz tried for Peter’s sake, and also for Lila’s. “I’m know Peter’s way to busy for parties anyway, so…”

“Oh, come on, he’ll be there, right Parker?” Flash challenged. He walked right by Peter, not letting him respond. The look on Peter’s face, the disappointment, the sadness, and even the insecurity, was enough to make Lila’s blood come to a boil. He didn’t deserve to be put in that situation by Flash, didn’t deserve to feel the way Flash made him feel. Lila could feel it come off of him in waves, and that bothered her more than Ned saying Peter knew Spider-Man. Regardless of whether or not it was true.

Liz shrugged at Peter, and hurried up the stairs towards Lila. Caught off guard, Lila leaned slightly away from Liz as she grinned down at her. “H-Hi, Liz.”

“Hey, Lila,” Liz stepped down a few stairs so that she was looking her in the face, and not looming over her. “Um - I didn’t get the chance to see you in AP Lit this morning, but I wanted to ask you if you wanted to come to my party tonight? I’m inviting the decathlon team over too, just to wind down a bit from this week. We’ve been studying like crazy, and well… anyways, do you want to come?”

Lila blinked. Sure, she’d been invited to parties, but she’d never actually gone to one before. And on a Thursday night? It seemed a little strange, but after the night she had previously, maybe getting out and not being stuck around her dad’s shop with only her thoughts to keep her company wouldn’t be such a bad idea. And if Peter Parker was going to be there, what was the harm? She nodded. “Sure th-thing. I don’t - I don’t have your a-address, thought.”

“Oh, no problem, I’ll text it to you.” The bell rang overhead, and Liz waved softly. “See you later, Lila.”

Lila watched her walk all the way down the stairs and join her group of friends as they walked by Peter. The expression on Peter’s face, one of sheer panic, was enough to bring Lila’s mood back down. Honestly, if Flash was going to keep it up, he might have to find a new tutor-

“Son of a bitch,” She whispered, as she dropped the headphones she was trying to pick up into the row of bleachers in front of her. Leaning forward, she completely forgot about her bruised ribs until they began throbbing at the sudden movement. She hissed lowly, bringing her hand to her side as she shut her eyes. Gritting her teeth, Lila reached forward again, only to have someone else hand her headphones to her. She glanced up in surprise once again as Peter handed her back her headphones. “You’ve got a-a nasty habit of picking up after m-me.” She joked.

A hint of a smile came to his face, as Lila took the headphones back from him. She stood up slowly as Peter shrugged again, eyeing her as she moved. “Just making sure you’re okay.”

Lila frowned, retreating up the steps to grab the computer bag she forgot. “I should be asking you that.” Apparently, Peter was inclined to follow her, as she heard his footsteps right behind her. She hastily stuffed her computer and the headphones Peter gave her back into her bag, shouldering it and turning around to face him. He had a look of confusion on his face, as if what just happened was already gone from his memory. “Flash shouldn’t have said all those things, or - or make you feel the way he did.”

Peter’s eyes widened in understanding. “Oh, Lila, it’s fine-”

“Except it’s not,” She interrupted firmly. “I could’ve said more, made him stop, and I didn’t.”

“Lila, really, it’s okay.”

“Peter, you can stop b-being nice for a second, okay?” It effectively shut him up. “We can’t - we can’t all be like Spider-Man, you know? We can’t all be s-superheroes. But we c-can stand up for what we believe in. And I believe that you don’t deserve to be tr-treated that way by Flash or anyone else. We n-need more kind people, p-people like you.” Peter was clearly stunned by her outburst, and on the inside, so was Lila. But she seemed unable to stop. “R-Regardless of whether or not you kn-know Spider-Man, Peter Parker is already a c-cool person, and I’ll be damned if I don’t stand up for someone like him.” Another bell rang, and Lila grimaced. “I’ll see you later, Peter.”

And as she walked away from him, she felt his gaze burning holes into her back.

*****

“Thanks for coming with me, MJ,” Lila said as she got out of Michelle’s mother’s car. Offering a quick thank-you to the woman, the pair started walking up Liz’s driveway. It was a nice house in the suburbs, with large windows and a modern design. The walk was long, with several steps required to get to the front door. Lila smiled as she approached the door, seeing the wreath that she personally made making itself at home on the door.

Lila was hesitant about going further. It took a great deal of convincing that she should get to go to Liz’s party where her father was concerned. The only reason Ted let her go despite the events that happened the previous night was because the Landrys were familiar with Liz and her family. On many occasions, Liz’s dad would stop in to pick up fresh flowers for his wife, always wanting to give them to her whenever he was back from a business trip out of town. And Liz was captain of the decathlon team, which Lila used to her advantage. Knowing Liz, she doubted there would be any kind of funny business regarding alcohol or any illegal substances because Liz herself preferred to have her wits about her at all times.

But what really got Ted was the fact that Lila needed this. She conveyed to her dad that she didn’t want to stay in the shop and mope around, thinking about what happened. She wasn’t too keen on being near Delmar’s either, not that Ted could actually blame her. So, her father made her promise that she would get all of her homework done for that day and the day after, since Friday night was the last night the pair of them could hang out before Lila left for D.C. and the academic decathlon’s national tournament. She happily complied, spending that afternoon working on homework and hanging out with Michelle before it was time to leave for Liz’s house.

Once she stepped inside, she felt overwhelmed with noise. So Lila decided to focus on one thing at a time. The first was the decor: sleek and modern, black and white seemed to be the main colors. Marble countertops were in the kitchen, and a black-trimmed staircase was near the back. The living room furniture was white and comfortable looking, however, it was pushed to the side. The source of most of the noise was coming from the living room, where a DJ stand was front and center. Standing in the DJ booth was none other than Flash Thompson, who was currently sifting through his large collection of music. He glanced around and offered smiles here and there, even waving at Lila as he saw her walk inside.

It took a minute for Lila to gather her wits after entering a scene she wasn’t used to, but by the time she was fully present, Liz Allan stepped up to her and Michelle. Smiling broadly, she held a drink in her hand and looked between the two girls. “Lila, Michelle, thank you so much for coming! Was it okay to find?”

“The house is hard to miss,” Michelle offered before falling silent once again. There was an awkward beat of silence as Liz seemed to wait for Michelle to say anything else, but it soon became clear that she wasn’t going to.

Nodding, Liz looked to Lila, “Um - anyways, there’s pizza and drinks, feel free to help yourself to some. Also, I know it’s kind of loud in here, but there’s a few rooms down the hall that are a little more quiet. You’re welcome to hang out there, too.” Lila smiled appreciatively. “Anyways, I’ve gotta make sure everyone’s doing okay, have some fun!”

She walked away towards another group of people who walked through the door. Meanwhile, Lila and Michelle both walked into the large kitchen, where MJ helped herself to the toaster on the countertop and pulled out some bread and butter. As Michelle made herself some toast, Lila grabbed a solo cup and filled it with ice and water in Liz’s fridge. Sipping slowly, she walked back to her friend and stood next to her, unsure what to do but stare at the surrounding classmates as they apparently partied.

Lila’s eyes were darting around, reading what other people were doing when her eyes landed on the door. Right on time, too, for Peter Parker and Ned Leeds both walked through the door, staring in awe at Liz’s nice house. Lila’s sharp intake of breath was enough to garner Michelle’s attention, who looked over at the girl, and raised an eyebrow. “Sorry,” Lila said, smiling sheepishly, “I just - Peter looks - looks really good.”

And he did. As far as Lila could tell, Peter never buttoned up his flannel shirts, but he did tonight, and it was doing him favors. His hair, which was always wavy and a little unruly, was nicely styled and made Lila bite her lip. He looked around the house with wide eyes, hands pulling on the sleeves of his flannel almost nervously. Lila could only sympathize, knowing full well how being out of one’s element was a little much. Ned, however, looked completely at ease. He leaned over to Peter, seemingly giving him a pep-talk about the night when Lila noticed Liz walk over. She didn’t catch all of what was said, however, for Michelle’s toast was finished, the sudden noise causing her to jump.

“Can’t believe you guys are at this lame party,” Michelle said to the boys after Liz walked away.

Ned and Peter glanced around until they found her and Lila. Ned, who was wearing a bold hat (that Lila thought he really pulled off), looked confused. “But, you’re here, too.”

“Am I?” If toast could be buttered in a threatening manner, Michelle Jones managed to do it perfectly. She placed the knife in the sink before walking away rather dramatically, leaving the toaster and butter out in the open. Lila, whose anxious mind was already not doing too well seeing Peter Parker looking at her a little longer than normal, hastily unplugged the toaster and put the lid on the butter.

She smiled at the two boys, half-apologetic and half-relieved to see the two of them. “Hi, Peter. You look - you look great.” His eyes were still wide, like everyone in the house had grown two heads. Lila suddenly didn’t know what to do with her hands, twisting them uncomfortably in front of her as she stared at the still silent, still wide-eyed boy.

She noticed the not-so-subtle nudge Ned gave Peter, but chose to ignore it anyway. Peter looked to his friend before looking back at Lila, smiling tightly and nodding. “Thanks, Lila. You - you too.”

A smile crept onto Lila’s face, blushing slightly. Before it could get out of hand, Ned cleared his throat. She looked away from Peter and over to him, smiling softly still as he smiled easily back. “Ned, that hat is spectacular. You d-definitely should bring it out more o-often.”

“Thanks, it gives me confidence.”

A light laugh left Lila’s lips, and a wider grin sat on her face. Peter’s was still tight and uncomfortable. A part of Lila grew worried that it was her fault, but she knew that couldn’t be true. Lila had seen Peter look worried practically the entire time he’d been here. Save for the brief time when Liz spoke to him, but Lila ignored that. “Um - are you alright, Peter?”

He looked at her confused expression, nodding. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m - I’m fine, why?”

She shrugged, not believing it for a second. “You just seem uncomfortable. I know that - that Liz mentioned a couple r-rooms down the hall that were a little quieter…”

“Penis Parker, what’s up?” Flash’s voice sounded from the speakers. He was also using his air horn noise, which was really getting under Lila’s skin quickly. “So where’s your pal, Spider-Man? Let me guess: In Canada, with your imaginary girlfriend?” Lila’s grip on her water grew tighter, her toes curling and her lip hurting from biting it so hard due to her discomfort. The people laughing made it all the worse. “That’s not Spider-Man, that’s Ned in a red shirt.”

Finally, Lila’s grip grew so tight that the cup broke, and the ice-cold water she’d been drinking now spilled all on her clothes and the floor. She let out a gasp of surprise, her anger momentarily fading. She drew in a ragged breath at how cold the water was when it touched her skin, and she shook her head. Ned and Peter were quick to help her clean up the water, and she was thankful that Liz had decided on dim lighting, for her cheeks grew red with embarrassment. All while they’d been cleaning up Lila’s mess, she noticed Peter seemed far off and distracted. She bit her lip and threw the last of the napkins away, and doing her best to gather up any courage. “P-Peter, can I talk to you for a minute?”

He seemed confused, and looked to Ned before finally nodding. Turning around and walking down the hallway Liz gestured to earlier, Lila found a room that was seemingly empty and entered it. She let Peter come inside before cracking the door and turning around to face him. He still seemed rather frustrated, but also curious as to why Lila wanted to talk to him. “Look, I just - I - um - can I tell you a secret?”

Eyebrows raised, Peter nodded.

Lila wrung her hands together, glancing back at the cracked door to make sure no one was near them. “I didn’t even tell Michelle this, but - um - last night, at Delmar’s, I was pinned by a shelf that would’ve otherwise been too heavy for first responders to move.” Lila saw Peter’s crestfallen expression, but avoided his gaze just in time to miss the guilt that went with it. She shook her head. “Anyway, I was lucky enough that the f-first person on the scene was S-Spider-Man.” She paused for a brief moment, letting that sink in. “He - he saved my life last night.”

“That’s - that’s amazing Lila,” Peter said, although he seemed sad. Like he wanted to be excited, but the whole situation was just making things worse. Which is exactly what Lila was trying to avoid.

She rubbed her forehead rather aggressively, shutting her eyes in annoyance. “I’m really not g-good at getting the point across. Look, Peter,” Lila placed her hands back at her sides, “I don’t think that you kn-knowing Spider-Man should automatically make you o-obligated to prove it to anyone like Flash, l-let alone bring him to a p-party.”

Something positive must’ve been conveyed, for Peter’s expression morphed into a more hopeful look. “Are you saying you believe me?”

“Um - yes.” Lila smiled softly, shrugging her shoulders. “I’ve s-seen - that is - you showed m-me the picture of you with Tony Stark. You work at Stark Industries, and Spider-Man f-fought with Iron Man in Berlin. I have m-more reason to believe that you know him than I do believing Flash and his i-insecure reasons for hating you.” A genuine smile found its way to Peter’s lips at her statement. “I’m just s-sorry that he asked you to make your p-professional relationship with someone a party trick.” At that, Peter’s eyes lit up, and his mouth parted slightly. “Anyways, um - I g-guess that’s all I wanted to say. Enjoy the p-party, Peter. Don’t let Flash g-get you down.”

“Thanks, Lila, I’ll try.”

She smiled at him before turning and walking back to the door. She paused when her hand hit the door handle, and she turned back around. Peter looked at her expectantly, and she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “Um - if it’s not too much t-trouble, could you do me a favor?”

“Of course,” Peter said, “What do you need?”

“I know he’s busy, a-and I know you’re also b-busy, so if it doesn’t happen, I understand. If you - sorry, when you see him again, if you think o-of it. Could you maybe say thanks for me?” The boy looked confused at her request, and she fiddled with the door handle all the while. “Spider-Man. He - he left so quickly that I didn’t get to th-thank him properly. If you s-see him, and you happen to remember, could you just pass along my thanks?”

And that seemed to do the trick. A wide grin spread on Peter’s face, genuinely happy at her favor. Her heart started doing somersaults at that look, beyond happy she could even do that to him. He nodded, “Yeah. Yeah, I’ll be sure to pass that along.”

Her smile then matched his. “Great. Um - I’ll see you around, then. Enjoy the party.”

And she left the study, giddy that she could not only make Peter feel better, but also happy that the small detail of last night’s events that had been secretly bothering her would now hopefully be resolved. She found Michelle, who had picked up a book on coaching (no doubt one of Liz’s), and was consumed by it. Her happy mood carried her through the rest of the party, even managing a conversation with Betty Brant about Sophie’s podcast and journalism studies, and another conversation with Ned, who was apparently an avid Star Wars enthusiast (not unlike herself).

She almost didn’t notice that she didn’t see Peter for the rest of the evening. And when Flash started taunting Peter while he wasn’t even around, Lila managed to “accidentally” trip over a cord behind Flash’s DJ stand, ending the taunts for the rest of the evening while he tried to figure out what happened. She left the party shortly after, since her dad came to pick her and Michelle up at their request. As Michelle talked to Ted about the party, Lila stared out the window, noticing several houses having wrecked decor, children’s toys, and the occasional scattered mailbox. She also noticed the web-like strings that seemed to be scattered around them as well.

#peter parker #peter parker fic #spider-man #spider-man fic #MCU Spiderman #mcu x ofc #spider-man x ofc #peter parker x ofc #marvel #mcu #spiderman #spiderman fic #mine

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hyunjilicious · 5 years

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Coffee Shop AU/College experience - Shawn Mendes

A/n: I love this with all my heart and i trully hope you will too!

Summary: Y/n works at a coffee shop and one day her boss asks her for help with hiring a musician. Shawn shows up at the auditions and this is their story. Shawn’s a gentleman and this story contains FLUFF and SMUT and 0 angst because everyone is happy!

Word count: +12k (this killed me so please don’t let it be for nothing)

I love you, i hope you like this and if you do please don’t hesitate to tell me!

"(Y/n)?" your boss called after you, "Come here for a second" "Uh-" you mumbled, thinking what to do first, "Just a second" You gathered the slices of pie you just cut and the two cups of coffee you just filled, put them on a tray, rushed to drop them off at the table that ordered them, and then made your way into your boss's so called office. "Uh, yeah?" you said walking in and sitting down on the small couch opposite his desk. "I decided to finally hire someone to play in here" he said, shuffling through a mountain of documents on his desk, "A few people have applied for the post and they're coming in tomorrow morning. I was thinking maybe you could help me out. Like give me a second opinion?" "Oh, sure! Finally, can't wait" you rushed to say. James started this business less than three months ago, and that was his original idea, but until now, money didn't allow him to go forward with his plan. You were all like a family there, so you knew very well how much he waited for this moment, so the simple fact that he chose you out of everyone to help him with something like this, made you slightly nervous. "Can you be here at 8?" he asked "Sure" "You're still on for the afternoon shift, though" "Yeah, of course, no problem" you agreed and after he went on to tell you about the plans he had for the coffee shop you returned to your post. The rest of the day went by pretty fast, and before you knew it, it was morning, and you and James were ready to meet the first person that applied for the job. Nothing could have prepared you for the multitude of personalities you were going to be faced with, almost none of them failing to leave you speechless, and not in the good way.

"Hi man" the first person said, "I'm Carl, when can i start?" "Hi, Carl" your boss greeted, "Just let us hear you first and if we decide you're for fit for the job we'll call you back, and you could probably start next week" Carl's eyes went wide in disappointment, and he looked at you, probably hoping you would step in. His appearance threw you off a bit, black leather from head to toe, pitch black eye shadow around his eyes and tattoos all over his neck, so the only thing you managed to do was send him a slightly reassuring smile as you motioned for him to sit down and start playing. Despite the fact that no one knew, you could sing, very well actually, so it wasn't hard for you to tell that Carl didn't hit any of the notes. His guitar was out of tune and his lyrics were beyond offensive, so you and James didn't waste a second before telling him he wasn't what you were looking for. The next person was a 50-something year old woman, that brought along a tambourine and proceeded to harmonise with her cat. Needless to say, she wasn't hired either. The next few people that entered the shop did relatively well, and you wrote down their names on a piece of paper. "The last ones were fairly good" you confessed as you waited to see whether someone else was going to show up, "But im not a fan of any of them" "Yeah, me neither" James sighed rubbing his palms along his face, "I might need to postpone this, I wanna be satisfied with the person we hire" "Yeah well" you said, trying to lift his mood, "we still have 30 minutes left, who knows what rockstar is gonna walk through that door?" "I don't want a rock start though, I dont need anyone to scare my customers away" he joked "We'll see" you laughed, and before you managed to continue with his joke, the door opened, as probably what was the last applicant walked in. You've never been good at reading people, but this boy yelled talent and charisma. Well, soon to be discovered charisma, as his cheeks were on fire while he struggled to keep his breathing regulated. "Hi, hello" he mumbled shyly, tugging at the roots of his curls at the back of his head, "I'm here to apply for the-" "Sure! Yes" James beamed, gesturing for the new boy to sit down on his designated chair. You couldn't help but smile broadly as you made eye contact with the stranger and considering how bad his hands were shaking around his guitar case, you decided to look away, in order to not make him even more nervous than he already was, "What's your name?" you asked kindly after you introduced yourself. "I'm Shawn, Mendes, nice to meet you" he mumbled, setting his guitar into his lap, and waited to see if you we're going to ask anything else. Normally, James would've asked about experience and stuff like that, but considering how Shawn was already sweating buckets in front of you, he decided against it, and urged the boy to just start playing. "Yeah, ok" Shawn whispered to himself as he wiped his palms against his jean covered thighs. A few seconds later, he started playing, and even though he probably wasn't the biggest talent you have ever seen, he was something else. He was way too good for this position, way too involved in the song that you later found out he actually wrote himself, way too genuine for this kind of gig, but neither you, nor James took that into consideration when you offered him the job on the spot. "Are you serious?" he asked shocked "Don't be so surprised" your boss chuckled, "You're really good" "Yeah, that song?" you laughed, all of a sudden completely mesmerized by this boy and his small performance, "Is this what you do? I mean you obviously know some stuff" "Um- well yeah, I'm focusing on music, that's what I want to do. Gotta start somewhere right?" he chuckled sweetly, starting to regain his composure. "Well Shawn" your boss said standing up to shake his hand, "I'm glad you're starting with us" "Thank you so, so much" he exclaimed, before moving to shake your hand too. The coffee shop was supposed to undergo a few minor changes here and there in order to set up a small stage-like area, and since it was a few days until it would all be ready, your boss decided Shawn should start on Monday, this way allowing a 4 day time period for the renovation process. "Turn the sign around on your way out" your boss joked as Shawn was about to leave, "You're one of us now" With a small chuckle, he waved you two goodbye and proudly spun the little "Open/Closed" sign before making his way out the door. "I'm so glad we found this guy" James sighed, turning on the machines as the customers were going flood in any second. "I know, right?" you laughed, picking up your bag, "See you in 4 hours" "Bye, (Y/n)" your boss yelled as he made his way into his back office, "Thanks again" For the next days, until Shawn was supposed to begin, you found yourself feeling like you were in high school all over again. You remembered what it was like to wait days for your geography class in order to see that ginger guy you were so scared to talk to, and you couldn't help but feel like this was exactly the same. There were supposed to be 3 hours of live music a week, one hour a day, on Mondays, Tuesdays and Sundays. You were thankful for the fact that your boss knew nothing about music and allowed Shawn to perform anything he wanted, as even if you had only heard one song, you could tell you were going to love the others as well. Saturday night, as you were going through your Instagram feed, a message from an unknown number popped up at the top of your screen. "Hey (Y/n), it's Shawn, I'm sorry I'm texting you like this, but I was hoping maybe I could send you a recording of the songs I chose for Monday and maybe you could tell me if they're ok. I don't want to let James down, and I'm thinking since you work there maybe you can help me. I totally get it if you don't have time or anything, so don't be afraid to tell me off and I'm sorry I'm putting this on you" As you read the text, your heart grew a bit. You read it again, and again, smiling more every time, and your palms got sweatier by the second as you tried to think of a response. "Hahah, hi Shawn, of course, send them to me!" "This means a lot, thank you, listen to them when you can, just you know, before Monday" A few seconds later, you received three attachments: "There's nothing holding me back", "She'll be the one", "Youth" You played them in that order, and the rollercoaster of emotions this boy sent you through was not something you anticipated. Your heart raced with unexplained jealousy as his deep and slightly raspy voice sang through your speakers, about a love so beautiful you could only see materialise in a book. The first song, its riff, the bridge, the lyrics, made you imagine what it would be like to have a song like that written about you. When the second one started, before you got a chance to analyse the words, you had built up a whole story inside your head, about how he's found a girl that would be his' in every sense of the word, only to have your world come crushing down as his voice reached your ears. You were not the kind to get easily impressed but goose bumps and tears started to mock you as the recording played on. The last song was exactly what you didn't need to hear. So beautifully constructed, and so perfectly played, you seriously found yourself speechless as you realised you had to give him your opinion. "These... these are incredible, wow" "They're good? Thank god" "They're good!? I hope you're just modest and actually realise what you have here" you typed out. "Stop lol" "Ok, so you know! Good!" "You'd tell me if they sucked, right?" "The vocals are honest, the guitar is catchy, well yeah they're no Bohemian Rhapsody but they're just so so good, I swear" "Thank you for tickling my ego, (Y/n)" "Any time, as long as you won't have anyone bawling their eyes out at that second song of yours, I think you're ok" "(Y/N)!! I'll change it" "I never said you should change it" As you waited for him to answer, bubbles kept appearing and disappearing, he kept typing and then erasing, he was nervous and it was basically your fault. "Just give me half an hour" he eventually said. "No! Don't change anything, keep the song, damn it!" After you replied, his fingers must've caught on fire as text after text from him kept showing up on your screen. "No, listen, I'm glad you told me, I've only played this to like 2 people before and I didn't realise what they were like" "I don't think it could make anyone cry, but if you find it sad, I don't want to play it in a cafe as 6 in the afternoon" "Are people gonna be sipping their coffees and go- who hurt this kid?" "Because I don't want that" "Don't leave me like this, I want to impress James" You rolled your eyes as your cheeks were beginning to hurt from the ridiculous smile this boy put on your face. You started to type an answer, but he wouldn't stop sending text after text, so on impulse, you pressed the call button and waited. "Yes?" Shawn's voice broke trough your speaker. "Change something and you're dead" "Wow ok-" he gasped, breathing out directly into he microphone, "I won't... Thanks" he said shyly. As much as you wanted right now to get more information about the songs, you decided against asking for details over the phone, " No problem, but I'm just curious-" you cringed, "What were you gonna do with that half an hour?" You refused to believe he was just going to come up with another song on the spot, and you were right. "I have a few more songs, I was gonna record another one for you" "Well honestly-" you sighed, driving a hand through your hair, "I'm not gonna stop you. I mean if you get bored you can record and send me more" "That's giving me anxiety" Shawn laughed, "But as soon as I have something decent, I'll send it to you" "I'm not gonna fight with you" you sighed, "I'm pretty sure everything you have passed decent a long time ago, but no hurry" "You're too sweet" Shawn chuckled, you heard the smile in his voice and imagined his rosy cheeks, it was impossible not to realise how nervous he got. "I appreciate this a lot" "No worries. Go work on your stuff, I'll see you on Monday" "Thanks Y/n" he said truthfully, "So much" "You got it!" You hung up the phone, and felt yourself morph into the cushions of your couch. Your heart was beating all the way up to your neck and the simply wasn't a way for you to unclasp your fingers from around your phone. Unsurprisingly, a few moments later, you found yourself listening to his recordings again... and again, and breathed in deeply as an idea materialised inside your head. You hurried to your room and pulled out your old guitar, feeling it in your hands bringing up so many memories from highschool, back when music was still your main focus. Getting the guitar out of the case felt surreal and to some extent, you regretted doing it as you knew the chances of letting it out of your hands in the near future were slim. As you listened to There's nothing holding me back over and over again, you couldn't help but find yourself trying to recreate it. You musical ear was unbeatable so it wasn't hard for you to pin point the exact rhythm and sound, and before you knew it, your fingers got a hold of the notes, hitting every single one of them. This applied only to the first part of the riff where the guitar was clear, as when he started singing and slowed down the beat, you got lost and couldn't hear anything exactly. Proud of yourself for achieving this, you busied yourself for the rest of the night, humming and playing along to whatever song came to mind, and couldn't stop smiling and gushing alone in your house thinking about what face Shawn would make if you just played him one of his own songs. Eventually, you stopped playing and even though you managed to not pick up the guitar again on Sunday, you didn't manage to keep him off your mind, so for the first time in your life, going to work on Monday felt like a breath of fresh air. As you approached the door at around 4pm, a small board that laid beside the entrance, reading "Live Music: Shawn Mendes, 6pm" in light blue chalk, caught your attention. Giggling, you walked inside, "I swear to god, we're so professional" you laughed, throwing your bag on a refrigerator and joining some of your colleagues in the back. "What are you talking about?" your boss yelled coming out of his office, a bowl of cereal in his hands, "We're like the epitome of professionalism" Dan walked into the room, shirtless, "Dude, you gave the kid that's coming to play today the keys, when he, by the way, doesn't need any, and he didn't even sign anything yet." he laughed. "He seems like a stand up guy" James said, munching on his lunch, "Cute ass too, I wonder if he's single" "Well, didn't this take an unexpected turn!" you exclaimed, going to change and get ready to start your shift. 10 minutes later you were sprinting from table to table, your mind already numb from how many orders you had been too lazy to write down, and were now trying to remember, "Hopefully they wanted almond syrup and not anything else" you thought to yourself as you filled a cup with hot chocolate. When you turned around to deliver to the tables the ridiculous amount of snacks you gathered on your tray, you saw Shawn enter the shop. You nodded to him, and upon making eye contact, his face lit up as he started walking towards you. "Hi, (Y/n)" he mumbled, following you around from table to table. "Why are you here so early?" you giggled, as you silently responded to the customers that thanked you. "I don't know how things go around here" he said, "Do you need help with that?" "Yeah, no, it's fine" you dismissed his offer, as you sat down that last of your orders. "And neither do I, so i can't really help you with that" You tried suggesting he found James and go from there, but hearing your words, panic washed over his face. To be honest, although the atmosphere around there was one of the friendliest and most laid back, you remembered how overwhelming your first day was, so you decided to help him. You led him to your boss's small office and uselessly knocked on the door. When he failed to answer, you turned the knob but it was for nothing as when you tried to push it open, it failed to move. "Shawn" you sighed, "James must've left" "Oh" he mumbled, eyes snapping to every direction as he turned to look at the shop and customers, then at you, then at the locked door. He opened his mouth to speak, failed for a second to form any kind of decent sentence and sighed deeply, "Ok" "Ok?" you pouted, "Come, I'll introduce you to the rest of the guys" Shawn just nodded and followed you. Only Dan was in at the moment, Mike and Luka probably being late as always. With his usual air of superiority, Dan tried his hardest to play off some kind of character in front of Shawn, but after a couple of minutes, he laid the guard down, realising his missconceptions were indeed, one more time, just uncalled for and unrooted. Even though they hit it off, Dan's schedule was much busier than yours so, for the hour that was left until Shawn had to start getting ready, you dragged with you, teaching him all the little things you had become so used to. After writing down on a piece of paper what three girls in the far corner of the cafe requested, you asked Shawn to go over to the counter and cut the two slices of cake they had asked for, while you went and handed the note to some other group of customers. As soon as he left, the peaceful sound of the chimes above the door reached your ears, but didn't acknowledge who came in until a small old lady tapped your shoulder. "Yes?" you smiled at her, taking in her genuinely sweet appearance. She seemed unable to do harm, the definition of a good, genuine person, so the fact that her eyes showed so much fear broke your heart. "Miss-" she spoke in a trembling voice, "Can you help me find my husband?" "Um..." you mumbled, taken aback by her question. "Is he- was he-" you stopped and cleared your throat, "We're you supposed to meet him here?" "No dear" the lady shook her head, "He was waiting for me outside the boutique on the other side of the road" "Ok" "But when I came out, he wasn't there anymore!" "Ok" you sighed, looking around you, as if you would have recognised her husband had you seen him. "Do you have a phone?" "I do" she smiled proudly, "But he doesn't" "Oh ok" you frowned, thinking of what the next step would be. Before you managed to open your mouth, Shawn came back to you. "Y/n" he called excitedly, "This ok?" You turned around. First your eyes met his and you unconsciously smiled, but then you saw the plate he was holding and noticed the pathetic excuse of a slice of cake he had - but no matter what, you didn't have the heart to tell him there was no way he could ever sell that to a customer. "It's good" you choked, completely failing to cover your feelings. "It's bad, isn't it?" he cringed, face falling as his features got covered in disappointment and desperation. "No, Shawn" you said, this time so much warmer as you placed your palm on the back of the hand he was holding the plate with, "It's ok, I promise but um-" you paused and turned to look at the old lady, but still addressed him as you spoke, "Can you take it to the-" "What's wrong?" Shawn asked, looking between the two of you. The lady explained again what had happened and he offered to go and help her look for her husband. After thanking him and taking the order to the table - but not until you fixed that awful slices Shawn cut, you tried to return to your post, but your mind was busy thinking about what could Shawn and the lady have been doing and how the search was going. "Any luck? :)" you typed and sent to Shawn. "Yes. We found her cat" he replied. "I'm not even gonna ask. Just go save the day" "She's not very helpful" "Ask if she has a picture of her husband. Maybe you'll see and recognise him" "Smart" Shawn texted and then after a minute or so, another message from him popped up on your screen. "Y/n..." "She doesn't have a picture?" you sent, laughing out loud in the middle of the coffee shop, already anticipating a multitude of weird scenarios. "She does lol" he replied, and then another bubble appeared, "BUT ITS THEIR WEDDING PHOTO" "Omg how cutee" you typed, "You're a nice guy and I know you're probably annoyed, but this is hilarious" "I'm not annoyed" he sent, "But I just hope her husband is real and that she's not crazy bc this cat already scratched me and I keep staring at every guy over 50 that walks past us. And it's uncomfortable" "I can't wait to see how this ends omg. Hurry" "I will I will" and with this, you shoved your phone back in your pocket and continued with your work. As you busied yourself with all the small things that were to be done behind the counter, minutes have passed without you taking any kind of notice. Before you knew it, someone tapped your shoulder and you were more than happy to see it was Shawn. "Oh god!" you gasped, smiling broadly as you looked up at him and met his exhausted stare, "Did you find him" "Yeees" he whined elongating the word, and leaned his head to the side as he raised his hand, carrying a yellow lily. "He went to buy her flowers and Maggie insisted I took one for you too" "Oh, how sweet" you gushed, taking the flower, "Thanks!" "I have one too" Shawn chuckled embarrassed. You grabbed the two lilies, took two small glasses from the back hoping no one would notice they were missing, and placed the flowers in water, on the side of the stage. Soon after, Shawn started to get ready, and as the evening was approaching, the cafe became so much more crowded. No matter how much you trusted him and believed in his songs, you still had butterflies in your stomach as you saw that most of the people simply couldn't look away from their phones and refused to pay any kind of attention to the stage. A change was still possible as Shawn was still tuning his guitar, and you sat down at the bar and turned around to listen to him perform. When he was ready, Shawn tapped the microphone faintly, and tried to introduce himself, but no one was listening. You turned to James who was making a cocktail behind the bar, and sent him a pleading look. Luckily enough, he took the hint and stormed to the stage, pushed Shawn aside and spoke loudly into the microphone. "Good evening!" he beamed. "Thanks for coming here tonight, as some of you might not know, we're trying something new. We have a guest, and I'd appreciate it if you took a moment to listen to what he prepared because frankly-" James sighed, "This kid rocks, so I hope you'll have a great time, and after the program is finished we serve Blueberry sunrise cocktails on the house! I'm gonna stop rambling and ask you to welcome Shawn Mendes" When he stepped of the stage, James looked as if just an ounce of more air would have made his collapse. He breathed out, finally relaxing and walked back to his spot, "Was it obvious?" "Not really" you smiled, squinting your eyes. "I feel the adrenaline-" he began saying, but then stopped when the first strums of the guitar filled the room. You turned to look at Shawn. He was something else - entirely absorbed into what he was doing, a completely different person than who he'd been until he walked on stage. Nothing about him came off as clumsy or indecisive, every note followed the other in perfect harmony, his fingers moving along the fret board with a confidence you never knew he had. The moment he raised his head and looked into the room, Shawn took a deep breath and allowed his upper eye lids to lower as he started singing, a melody so beautiful in it's own painful way, that right then and there, your felt all the hairs stand up on your body. His voice, soft and warm where required and raspy and dominant on the bridges, simply struck you, and to say it didn't have anything to do with what he played at the addition would be a crass understatement. Much to your surprise, but rightfully so, the people listened to him carefully, from the first note to the very last. You watched him with a genuine smile on your lips, cursing under your breath whenever someone waved at you in need of a refill. It didn't take long until he was done - technically an hour passed, but it surely didn't feel like anywhere close to that. When he finished performing, as he gathered his stuff and thanked the people that enthusiastically stood up showing their support, you saw James come to you. "We did a freaking good job picking this kid" he beamed, grabbing your shoulder, "I'm proud of you" "Of me?" you laughed, "Why of me? It's Shawn who-" "Well, you listened to his songs to see if they were ok and Y/n, they were so much more than that" "Sure" you shrugged amused, "Let me take the credit, I don't mind" After that, your boss joined Dan at the bar, the two of them managing the drinks while Shawn enjoyed a well deserved beer. You finished serving your assigned tables and walked over to them, letting your palm run across Shawn's back as you passed him, to which he responded with a pleased smile. You all hung out as much as you could during the remaining hours of the program, and then started tidying up the place as 1am was fast approaching. Shawn found himself naturally helping all of you out even if no one ever asked him to, and not to anyone's surprise, you all had quite a good time cleaning up the cafe in the late hours of the night. Shortly after it turned 1:30, you lazily dragged your feet through the back door, going to throw some thrash out before finally making your way home. "Hey, Y/n" Shawn called, grabbing your elbow out of nowhere. You shrugged surprised and turned to see him with his phone pressed to his ear, nodding slowly as he listened to the other person talk, "You're insane!" he laughed. You threw out the garbage and and then waited for him to finish talking on the phone, "Aaliyah, stop" Shawn continued, "Yes, I'm gonna get drunk, I promise- No, don't tell mum- I love you too but I still wouldn't give you any alcohol" You smiled amused, realising halfway through the conversation that the person he was talking to was nowhere near a threat to your growing crush on him. Now, without any doubts inside your mind, you relaxed as he ended the conversation and placed his phone inside his pocket while turning to you. "Go get drunk Shawn" you laughed, not allowing him to speak. He opened his mouth, but eventually just giggled, leaning his head to the side. "Do you wanna get drunk?" "I have classes at 12 tomorrow" you pouted, leaning back against the back of your car, "I mean today, because it's almost 2" "Why did you stay so long?" Shawn asked shocked, walking over to you. "It was fun" you whined, "But now I'm super tired and as much I'd love a drink right now, the responsible thing to do would be to go home" "No, of course!" Shawn jumped to agree, and he did it with a smile, "Go home and sleep and-" "But before, like-" you mumbled, cutting him off, "I kinda wanna show you something" Shawn nodded with curiosity, and reluctantly made his way inside to bring his guitar after you asked him to do so. As you waited, a rush of adrenaline overtook your body, so you pushed yourself off the car and ran inside after him. You stopped by a fridge and stuck your head inside. "Vodka? Beer? Tequila? Rum?" you yelled over your shoulder. "Y/n" Shawn sighed, coming up behind you, guitar case in hand, "You don't have to-" "What's the college experience without hangover morning classes?" you giggled, "What do you like to drink?" "I really wanna say vodka but you need to get home" You rolled your eyes and then looked at him tauntingly, "I'm starting to think you changed your mind about wanting to drink with me" "School's important" he said, and the sarcasm that dripped off his lips made you stare him down until he gave up, "You sure?" "Yeah, I'm sure" you beamed, grabbing a vodka bottle and a orange juice one. "Plus the class I have tomorrow is ridiculous, the teacher is insane" "What do you mean, insane?" Shawn asked as he followed you back outside, going over to sit down on the bench where your colleagues spend their cigarette breaks. "It's a long story" you sighed, gathering your legs under your body so you could sit facing him, "You'd have to see it to believe it" "I'm not doing anything tomorrow" "Oh" you laughed, "If you can wake up, I'll gladly take you to the crazy show that histology is" "Deal" Shawn nodded. After that, he excitedly handed you the guitar, and faking confidence, you pulled it out of its case and set it in your lap. Unfortunately, your cockiness faded, and when you had to start playing, you froze. Under Shawn's expecting stare and his overly excited expression, you couldn't move a muscle. "Sorry" you whined, covering your face with your palms, "I'm not always like this" "No, I get you" he encouraged. He shifted further towards you and spread his along the back of the bench, his hand coming up somewhere behind you. "Just strum it for a few seconds and imagine I'm not here" "How could I imagine you're not here if it's for you I'm playing?" "Imagine I'm someone else" "That wouldn't make sense" you rolled your eyes, "It is for you!" "Did you write me a love song?" Shawn teased, opening the bottle, taking a sip and then handing it to you, "For courage" "Don't think I can win you over with this thing" you said after you drank, "It's like 10 seconds long" "Yeah you can" he nodded, closing his eyes shortly as he spoke to emphasize his point, gesture that only managed to make you even more nervous. "Come on" "But don't laugh at me" you said pointing a finger at him. He promised he wouldn't, and after wiping your palms against your shirt, you took a deep breath and settled your hands on their designated spots on the guitar. Realising Shawn would be able to recognise he chords if you just kept your hand on the neck of the guitar, on impulse, you started playing the riff of There's nothing holding me back, and something your might for ever regret, was not looking up at him as you played. "This is all I know" you mumbled after finishing the part that you were familiar with. Shawn had his mouth comically open, as his eye brows were probably two times higher on his forehead than you were used to. "Shut up. Did you get how to play it from the recording?" You just nodded shyly. "I'm never sending you any of my stuff ever again" he belted, trying to seem offended, "I can't reproduce songs like that. Why didn't you tell me you were so good at this?" "I used to be good, I'm not that-" "No" he cut you off, shuffling closer to you, "No-uh. Don't tell me you also sing" "I do" you laughed, placing the instrument back in its case, "I only started playing guitar so I'd develop my musical ear and hear myself better" Shawn widened his eyes suggestively and as soon as the guitar was out of reach, safely laying on the ground behind the bench, you got to drinking. And you did it wholeheartedly, chugging mouthfuls of vodka like it was water, laughing more and more at every humorless joke Shawn told, getting closer and closer to him with each passing minute; the need in the pit of your stomach to jump and kiss him only growing bigger and bigger with every suggestive longing stare he blessed you with. "I wanna meet 14 year old Shawn" you cried, bringing your hand up to caress his cheek with the back of your fingers as you were now laying on your back with your head in his lap. Shawn leaned into your touch, waiting a moment before ruining it, "You don't wanna do that" "Why not? I think you were the absolute cutest" you countered as he had been talking about how he got into music for the past half an hour. "I looked and acted horrible, Y/n" he whined, finally grabbing your hand, lazily holding onto it as he guided it away from his face, "I wouldn't want you around that" "Did you just call yourself 'that'?" you giggled, "Don't! 14 year old me would've loved the 14 year old you" Shawn rolled his eyes and grabbed your cheek, leaning down to look at you as he spoke, "I was an asshole!" "Cute asshole?" you giggled. "Why aren't you taking me seriously?" he laughed, his warm hand still pressed to the side of your face, "I'm serious!" "So am I" you countered. "I was taking shirtless selfies sending them to girls.. for whatever reason I thought they'd just magically fall in love with me" Shawn whined, shaking his head as he looked up into the sky as if asking the world for answers. "And did it work?" you laughed. "Of course it didn't, what are you talking about?" "Has drinking laying down been invented?" you asked, changing the subject as if you didn't, with all your heart wish to keep it going. The words just slipped from your mouth and despite regretting it, all the alcohol you had ingested made you instantly forget about the previous topic of conversation. "Wanna try?" Shawn smirked, removing the top of the bottle as he looked down at you. Truthfully, you contemplated for a little while but eventually you decided against experimenting with this right now, you so stood up and drank normally, on your own. After placing the bottle to the side again, Shawn held your stare, causing deep sparkles to electrify every corner of your whole body. He smiled kindly, an expression that was hard for you to read. Something in it didn't give you the confidence you needed, and even through your blood boiled, even through your ears were buzzing and all you could hear was the sound of your heart going into overdrive, something failed you and you didn't have the courage you wish you did. When you felt yourself gather up everything you had in you and leaned in, another wave of shock ran along your body, and instead of going for his lips, you his your face in his neck, and the be honest, the only reason you managed to keep breathing after that, was the fact that Shawn wrapped his arms around, bringing you a tiny bit closer. "You tired?" he asked softly, and even though he probably didn't mean to, he spoke directly into your exposed skin, bringing back to life those goosebumps that you were so happy you got rid of. With your forehead still pressed against the side of his neck, you nodded no, even if your eyes threatened to fall closed at any second. "Lets take an uber" Shawn suggested, this time tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, hoping maybe he'd be able to see your eyes. That didn't happen. "Come on" he laughed. "If I go home-" you sighed pulling back a little, "It means I'll go to sleep. If I go to sleep it means I have to wake up and if I wake up, it means I have to go to school" "But you said the teacher's crazy" Shawn laughed, grabbing both your hands, "Crazy teachers are the best teachers" "Second best" you countered, leaning your head to the side, "I gotta give credit to those real teachers that put passion into their work" "That sounds way too politically correct for you, Y/n, wow" "Stop" you rolled your eyes, standing up from the bench, "I'm used to this lunatic, it's not fun anymore" "Yeah, but like-" Shawn said slyly, coming up beside you, "I'm not" "Wait, you were serious about that?" you questioned, looking up at him with a frown, "I thought you were joking, god" And as it turned out, he wasn't. One of the things that drew you to this job was how conveniently near your house it was. Despite swearing up and down that you walked that distance every night after work, Shawn didn't show any kind of sign of letting you to it again - not tonight, and he also tried, and failed, to convince you to stop walking on the streets alone at night. You appreciated the concern, but just smiled and giggled a proud "No" while he shook his head. You shared an Uber, and he dropped you off first. Since the day before you had driven to work, your car wasn't at home and unlike the the coffee shop, the school was much further. Due to the short drive, you and Shawn didn't have too much time to argue, and agreed that he'd be in front of your apartment at 11 that morning. Then you'd do to school and after that to work. Now that you thought about it during your nightly contemplative shower, you realized another whole day to spend with him was a bit too much, considering you barely knew each other - but there was an excuse, you were drunk and he was cute. Afterwards, you set your alarm and fell asleep soundly in a matter of minutes. The day's been full and this night's sleep, although cut short, was very much awaited and more then welcome. You slept soundly and as if waking up in the morning wasn't already the most hideous part of the day, what annoyed you beyond words was that the sound that pulled you out of your sleep wasn't coming from your phone, which was inches away from you - it was coming from the front door, that was all the way on the other end of the apartment. You stomped your feet childishly against the floor, slapped your hand on the knob and dragged the door open with a loud groan, "What- Oh!" "Why aren't you dressed?" Shawn laughed, squinting his eyes. "What are you doing here" you whined, walking away from the door and crawling all the way over to the couch. "We're supposed to leave in 15 minutes" he said calmly taking his jacket off. "Yeah sure" you scoffed, face sunk into the cushions, "Make yourself at home" "I brought you food" he defended himself, and with a delay of a few seconds you looked up, and you did it just in time to see a small bag flying towards you. "What the-" you mumbled, grabbing the bag. "Avocado and toast" he said over his shoulder as he started rummaging through all the cupboards and drawers in your small kitchen. Your heart rate went up. After pulling the bag open with too much force and managing to rip it in the process too, you stuck your hand in, ready to find all the goods. "There only toast in here" you whined, disappointment hitting you like a brick. You stood up and walked to the kitchen, more or less in a straight line, "Why did you do this to me?" "Relax" Shawn laughed, opening an ice cream box, "I didn't put the avocado on the bread because it would've gotten all soft and gross" Failing to suppress a smile, you tip toed to his side, and leaned in to look into the the box, "Oh here it is" you giggled, "Sorry" Shawn just laughed in response and commanded you to sit down, while he got everything ready. Although you felt somewhat bad for pointing all over your kitchen whenever he asked for any ingredient or utensils, there was no energy or will inside your body for you to actually do anything more. When everything was ready, and the plate of food waited on the table in front of you, you actually stood up, to be able to face Shawn properly, "I'm sorry I'm acting like a bitch. Thank you, this is the sweetest thing, I appreciate it" "I know you do" Shawn chuckled, cupping the back of your head so he could kiss your forehead, "You asked me to do all of this" "What!?" "I figured you forgot" he laughed, sitting down opposite from your spot at the table. "That's ok" "Shawn, what the fuck" you whined, plopping back down on your chair. You sighed deeply, "How could I have possibly asked you to do all of this and why did you listen to me?" "You also asked me to let you dye my hair, and to that I didn't agree" he shrugged amused, digging into he food he just got ready, "So you're not forcing me to do anything" "You know-" you sighed, "I'm starting to think this is all like upside down. Like you are the one who just had his first concert and you're the one who was supposed to party all night with their friends. But somehow, I got drunk and you had to listen to me talk shit for god knows how long last night, and now, instead of being hungover, you're here making me food" He was pleased. It was readable on his face. "Eat" he smiled. "How are you even so awake at this hour?" you mumbled, dropping the subject as you started eating, feeling completely defeated. "James called me" Shawn said which made you look up at him curious. "I'm not playing tonight" "What? Why?" you asked. "He said he rushed with the program and that he thinks it's better if we have at least one day between the shows" "Oh, ok" you breathed out relieved, "I thought something happened" "Last night?" he questioned before taking a bite of the toast, "What could've happened last night, I mean we locked the-" And that was when the food got lodged in your throat. "Shawn?" your voice trembled, "Did you lock the door?" His eyes widened as he looked to the side, "Didn't you-" "Holy fuck-" you yelled, jumping from your seat and sprinting back to your bedroom. In case you had ever during your life wondered what was the worst thing about not hearing your phone while you slept, you figured it out now. 7 unread text messages from Dan and 3 missed calls. "Please tell me you came in early and are somewhere inside" "YOU IDIOT" "You're so mtfken lucky I came in before James" "He would've strangled you" "LOCK THE FRIKEN DOOR WHEN YOU LEAVE WTF DID YOU EVEN DO LAST NIGHT" "Shawn.... that's what you did.didn't you? that's why you forgot. You slut, you're lucky I love you" "Btw you owe me jahaha" After reading all of them you walked back into the kitchen were Shawn was waiting, probably being too polite to just walk into your bedroom without you inviting him. "Everything ok?" "Yeah" you sighed, throwing your phone on the counter and covering your face with your hands, "Too much shit happened today already and I just woke up" "And we need to go see the crazy lady" Shawn laughed, knowing he just pushed your buttons further. "Fuck" you whined, "I managed to forget about that too" After checking the time, you felt your veins on the verge of exploding, "I need to get ready in 6 minutes" "Go" Shawn said, nodding his head in the direction you just came from, "I'll put everything in the fridge" Your heart got filled up with all kinds of emotions that were too new and pure for you to put your finger on, so in lack of ways to express what you actually felt, you thanked him shyly and rushed to the bathroom. Even if the sight of you in the mirror made you want to slap yourself for letting Shawn see you like this, you couldn't remove from your mind the image of him smiling in awe as you got way too excited over some trivial breakfast that probably took him 15 minutes to make. But he did drive all the way over here and put up with your morning attitude, and you just couldn't help but giggle against the tooth brush the was lodged between your teeth. After being done in the bathroom, you started walking towards your closet thinking about what you should wear, but instead, somewhere halfway along your hallway, you turned around and headed back to the kitchen. Shawn was standing in his previous spot, scrolling through his phone. "You're not dressed" he laughed, looking up at you as soon as he heard you enter the room, "Why aren't you dressed" You just giggled as you rubbed your eyes, and the fact that you didn't say anything prompted him to, "As cute as those hearts look on your buttcheeks, I don't think that's appropriate for college" "Shawn" you whined, still having trouble putting into action the thoughts that got to back into the kitchen in the first place. "Y/n" he chuckled, throwing his phone to the side and mirroring your attitude. When he pouted at you playfully with half of his upper body leaning on top of the table in your direction, you finally closed the distance between the two of you. He straightened his back and looked up. "Thanks" you smiled, grabbing the sides of his face. Shawn seemed as pleased as ever, and the smirk on his face when you placed your knee on the edge of his chair between his tights was way too much. He tilted his head back, leaning into your touch as you held his cheeks, and he did look at you calmly for just a few seconds, as they fluttered closed when you started leaning in. Despite letting his guard down entirely, he met you half way, his lips brushing over yours so softly at the beginning you felt waves of delight follow the traces of his touch. Eventually, you kissed him, a longing peck on the corner of his mouth, and the sole feeling of his lips curling into a smile ignited your cravings. Shawn grabbed the back of your legs pulling you completely into him, and his hands traveled upwards, rousingly stopping at the top of your thighs. Taking in a deep breath of air, you both leaned in opposite directions, going in with a fervent need you were so pleased to see he has be harboring too. Your hands got lost in his hair and his arms had wrapped around your body. Uncomfortable - it was, your knee hurt against the wooden surface of the chair, your back was worringly straight as Shawn kept your body locked against his, your neck muscles were strained but all you felt was pleasure, emanating from his touch, his lips, from his tongue against your and from his crazed breathing. In need of a break, you sucked his bottom lip between yours and pressed your forehead against his when his hold tightened significantly around you. That was a sign it was time to relax and let go, but it took you another moment to gather yourself. "Someone brushed their teeth?" Shawn teased even if he was in no position to do so, as his fiery cheeks and miles wide smile gave off nothing but awe. "Shut up" you scoffed trying to back away but he tightened his hold just in time. "I'm sorry" he chuckled shaking his head from side to side, "But you have no idea how hard it was for me to not do this last night" You pouted disappointed, "Why didn't you?" "You were drunk" he said simply, "That's not-" "What a gentleman!" you jokingly gushed. "I did bring you a lily, didn't I?" "And I left it by the stage..." "But my lily is there too" "Oh" you laughed out loud finally pulling away so you could go change, "They're gonna die together, how romantic!" "But" Shawn continued, pointing a finger, "They're the only lilies on a stage full of instruments, so that's gotta count for something" By now you had already reached the door, but stopped and spoke over your shoulder, turning just slightly, "Just like we're the only ones in that coffee shop that can sing!" Initially, his mouth fell open, but then he turned to smiling, "You can also sing!? I thought you just played-" You loved how happy and playful he made you feel, so you just sprinted to your room, way beyond satisfied with how you left him. After getting dressed, you left for class. You stopped for coffee because none of you actually thought of making some at home, parked in the middle of nowhere as every space in front of your school was taken due to the fact that it was already the middle of the day, and ended up running up the stairs of the main building and down the corridor, only to see all your classmates still waiting in front of the classroom. "It's occupied" a girl sighed as soon as she saw your confused expression, "And no one cares? The class was supposed to start 20 minutes ago" Panting, you agreed with her and decided to find each other in case any of you heard something new, and then you turned to Shawn, "And we thought we we're gonna be late" "We are late" he said distraught, looking over the crowd, trying to spot someone that might look like a teacher. "Think I have enough time to go to the bathroom?" "Go" you laughed, "See those stairs?" You pointed to the end of the hallway and then looked at him, "Go down one level, and it's the first door on the left" "What if the teacher comes?" Shawn asked worried, still scanning the crowd. Unconsciously, you grabbed his hand, "I know you didn't go to college, but relax" "Does my anxiety show?" Shawn laughed. After shaking his head and shrugging away the bad energy, he kissed your lips, and as natural as it felt it electrified you whole. Eventually he left, and you walked a bit behind him, getting out of the crowd of people, and sat on a bench so you wouldn't have problems finding each other afterwards. A few minutes later, the situation hadn't changed, at least not for the better. Now there were actually even more students waiting by the door and no teacher had been seen around. Coincidentally, just when you turned to look for Shawn, you saw him head down the hallway. How he managed to fit in so well made you warm inside but your blood ran cold when two blondes turned their heads as soon as they passed him. You saw him walk proudly, head held high, arms hanging loosely around his frame, his frame that you had just a bit too much fun analysing. You just now realised how much like a genuine college kid he looked - his boots were missing but the white sport shoes he wore didn't fail you, he wore the irreplaceable black skinny jeans, and while you knew him with loose dress shirts with one or two too many buttons left outdone, now he had a white simple shirt that hugged him in all the goddamned good places - with the finishing touch being represented by the tiniest backpack in the world hanging on his shoulders. To say you tried would be a lie, you just nonchalantly stared until eventually standing up and walking in his direction. That cold air of superiority that had just surrounded him turned sweeter as he was now all just a smile. "What did you do?" you giggled. "I found out what happened" he spoke into your ear. When you pulled away to look into his eyes, he signaled with his stare for you to check behind him, where three teachers were approaching the group. "What did you do?" you asked shocked, and he broke character. "Nothing" Shawn laughed as the door finally opened. You both sat down somewhere in the middle of the classroom and got ready. He opened his back pack and pulled out a piece of paper, and two pens. "Shawn" you gushed, grabbing his bicep and placing your chin of top of his shoulder, "This is a debate class, we don't take notes" "You're just jealous" he scoffed, nudging your nose with his. "You got me" you joked and the two of you got ready and waited for the presentations to begin. A few minutes in, and Shawn was already throwing you side glances every time someone used a word he never heard before in his entire life - and that was way more often than you anticipated. The class was two hours long but it always felt like no more than 30 minutes. At the beginning you were shocked but now, all the crazy things that happen simply amuse you. Shawn on the other hand, was amazed every time someone raised their voice, someone yelled, or someone left the class without saying a word. Eager to give him the full college experience, you wrote down the main aspects of String Theory and asked Shawn to raise his hand and answer. He did so, red cheeks and trembling voice but he did it, and boy, was he proud of himself when the lab assistant congratulated him. "What's your name?" the teacher asked. "Shit" Shawn mumbled, "Um... Roberto?" "Very well Roberto" she nodded, walking around the class, "We're gonna take a small break and after that, you're gonna help me present the rest of the lecture. You're excused" "What the fuck did you just do to me?" he cried, turning to you as most of the students stood up and left the classroom. "Relax, she's gonna forget" you waved him off, "And if she doesn't, I'll ask her to let me present with her, instead of you" "Do you know the next part?" "No" you laughed, "But I know more than you do" You could tell he almost tried to not let you take the fault and probably embarrass yourself in front of the class, but you both knew he had no idea what the whole lecture was about, so he slowly backed down. Just when you were starting to complain about not eating more before class, the teacher slowly approached the two of you. "Roberto, can I have a word with you?" Not going to lie, your face fell. Shawn stood up slowly and followed her, and they settled by her desk, her leaning playfully against it and him awkwardly standing in front of her with his hands being his back. You saw him nod to what she was saying but the buzz in the room made it impossible for you to actually hear anything. Trying to get a better view, you walked to the widow and hopped on the sill, from this angle seeing Shawn's freaked out expression ten times better. He looked terrified, mortified even, at one point he brought his hands together in front of his chest and leaned forward faintly, as it deeply apologizing for something. A few moments later he walked away from her and made his way to you. "What happened?" you asked excitedly, extending your hands for him to take. "Um..." he cringed as he tilted his head to side with a slight frown, "Nothing?" Your eyes widened, "Tell me!" "What's she doing?" Shawn asked, so he wouldn't have to turn around and see for himself. You peaked over his shoulder and figured she had left the classroom as she was nowhere to be seen, "She's gone. Tell me" "She kinda asked me out" "What" you belted, pulling on his hands to bring him closer, "You're not serious" "She knows I'm not from this class and she said that there shouldn't be anything wrong with-" "And what did you say?" you cut him off, way too excited. "That I'm in a relationship?" "With me?" you gushed. "I- I mean, I didn't tell her that" he chuckled teasingly, "Wouldn't want her to be jealous of you or anything" "Oh my god" you giggled, grabbing his cheeks to pull him in for a kiss. Aware you were still in the class room, you didn't wrap your legs around him trying to not cross a line or anything, but Shawn's hands grabbed your hips as he pressed himself against you. After placing more than a few lazy pecks along his bottom lip, you made your way to his jaw line, advancing further down his neck, sucking mercilessly on his smooth skin. Every time he moaned into your ear you felt yourself buzz more and more and soon enough you realised it was time to stop. "Let's go back" you said softly as you caught your breath. "Back home?" he grinned. "Nope" "Aren't you turned on at all?" Shawn laughed, following you back to your seats. You turned to him and contemplated. "I promised I'd give you the college experience" "I'm kinda hard and I-" Shawn started but you ignored him completely as you grabbed both of your bags. Taking his hand, you heard a faint "Thank god" coming from him as you dragged him to the door. As you turned the knob, you instantly jumped back as the door flew open by itself. Before you managed to realise what was happening, Mrs. Rutth stormed past you, "Back to your seats" When you felt Shawn's hold loosen around your fingers you pulled his hand, and nodded towards the door. Everything happened in a split second and before you knew it, the two of you were sprinting down the hallway with your teachers threats barely audible in the back as she settled for yelling after the two of you from the threshold. "If this is what college is actually like, I might enroll next year" Shawn panted as soon as you stopped after you passed a corner. "Don't make that mistake" you giggled. He cocked his head to the side smiling wide before he grabbed the sides of your face and pulled you in for a longing kiss on your forehead, "Did your mood just change in less than 2 minutes?" you giggled. "No" he laughed, "But you're cute no matter what mood I'm in" You wrapped your arms around him and started walking backwards, forcing him to stumble after you, "I'll fix it" "You don't have to fix anything" Shawn confessed as you pushed him through the doors of the first bathroom you laid eyes on. You looked up, "Full college experience, remember?" "You fucked guys in the bathroom before?" Shawn questioned, backing you against the wall. "When I want something, I gotta have it, ok?" you defended yourself. "And then you just drop 'em?" "I would never drop someone that made me avocado and toast" "Jesus" Shawn breathed as leaned forward, inching closer to your neck. He kept his longing stare fixed on your features for as long as he could, and when he averted his gaze going lower towards your jaw line, you saw his eyes flutter closed. In a matter of seconds, his lips brushed over your skin causing goosebumps to arise all over your body, before his teeth finally sank into your neck. "Ok.." you moaned, wrapping your arms around his back for support. Shawn grabbed the back of your thighs and pushed you up, bringing you at the same level with him. Now he wasn't towering over you anymore, but your face was still hidden in his shoulder as he did his magic. "I really don't wanna fuck you in this bathroom" Shawn panted, pressing himself closer to you as he looked up, "This isn't what I imagined" "No, this is exactly what I imagined" you shook your head, "But we were in the bathroom of the coffee shop" "Stop" he laughed weakly, planting his lips against your one more time. You kissed passionately, noses bumping and moans everywhere, doing nothing but accentuating the feeling that got you in the bathroom in the first place. You steadied your hold around him with one arm and pushed yourself off the wall with the other, and Shawn unconsciously followed your lead, spinning the two of you around. Lowering yourself, you greedily kissed down his neck as you hands roamed his body. Your heart beat was boomed in your ears, but irronicaly, the way his muscles clenched under your touch made you relax heavily. Seeing him just as nervous as you were ignited sparks all over your body. With your hands hooked into his jeans, you straightened your back and kissed his lips slowly, pulling him after you. Crashing against one of the stall doors, you pushed past them and turned the lock behind the two of you. Shawn leaned back against the door, "Turn around" You laughed against his lips. Without breaking contact, you undid his belt and the button of his jeans, sliding down the zipped as you kissed him one more time. In need of a little more build-up, you grabbed his sides and pushed yourself against him, applying pressure just where you knew he needed the most. "I kinda want something else" As you knelt and pulled his jeans down, you saw him shake his head, "You'll kill me" A bit too excited about what was to come, you palmed him through his underwear and pushed yourself up a bit, allowing your teeth to sink into his sides, his abdomen muscles forcing the air to dash through his lungs dangerously fast. "Relax" you cooed, standing up once again. This time, you stuck your hand inside his underwear as you kissed him, and despite whimpering, Shawn grabbed your waist, holding you in place. Your tongues worked against each other as you wrapped your fingers around his base, gripping the elastic band of his underwear with your free hand and pulled it down. This time you lowered yourself for good, settling on your knees in front of him. The looks Shawn was giving you made it all so much better; in the dark stall the light was mostly nonexistent, the shadows accentuation his cheekbones and jaw line as he had his head slightly dipped forward. You took your time exactly like you were used to, trailing your fingers up his thighs waiting for any kind of sign - a go ahead signal, before giving him what he surely craved the most. A slight twitch was enough and when a breathy moan followed, you licked your lips and stuck your tongue out to meet his tip. After working experienced flicks against his cock, you raised your stare trying to keep the eye contact as you took him in your mouth. He slid inside until his end reached the back of your throat which required more concentration, causing you to lower your gaze and close your eyes as you pressed your palms into his thighs. Pulling back slowly, you started to bob your head, going back and forth, sucking him with an eager determination which would soon be also visible on his legs, as with every passing second, your nails dug deeper and deeper into his skin. Shawn kept quiet, he was good, too good, you wanted him over the edge, you wanted him panting and moaning your name. He was taller, stronger than you, more composed and you wanted him a mess - that frown you've seen earlier, you wanted that again, to see him bite his lips and throw his head to back as his eyes fluttered closed no matter how hard he tried to contain himself. Before you got a chance to do anything, from behind him you heard a door open and slam closed, followed by a pair of determined heels clicking against the marble floor. You fisted a good amount of his shirt into your right hand and pushed down the lid so you could pull back and sit on your knees on the toilet. 'So not what you hand in mind'. You could see the regret in his eyes, but he was smiling, a crooked - What the fuck are you making me do - kind of grin and somehow, you figured you should make the best of the situation. You placed your pointed finger in front of your lips trying to hear whatever that person was doing and you almost burst into laughter when you heard them enter the stall next to you. As uncomfortable as it was, you bent down and took him again into your mouth with absolutely zero warning, and the moment your fingers brushed against his balls, Shawn's hand flew up to grab something. Unfortunate choice, as his fingers reached past the top, poking onto the other side of the wall that separated the stalls. "Hello?" you heard a masculine voice call and it took everything in you, but thanks to your teasing nature, you went on, sucking from between hallowed cheeks, leaving Shawn to deal with the consequences. "Sor-" he whimpered until his voice broke. He cleared his throat and threw his head back in desperation as you wouldn't give him a break, "Sorry" The more you took him down your throat and the more you pushed his buttons the harder it got to keep yourself silent. The morning against his cock were repressible, but you'd worked him up - precum and spit got everywhere and that was not in your power to control. Pulling away hurriedly, you took him in your palm and pumped along his cock hurriedly as you shuffled on your knees and pressed your lips to his base, ready to go lower. The movement of your hand slowed down as you shifted your concentration to the actions of your tongue, your fingers eventually stopping at his tip, your thumb rubbing over and along his slit. You heard a loud slap, and looking up curious, you saw Shawn's hand cover half his face. He looked down at you from between his fingers and his eyes begged. For something. He was lost. Forget the cheeks, his face was red and his sweat coated curls were now sticking to his forehead as he struggled to keep his eyes open and his breathing regulated. "'S good" you mouthed before taking his balls into your mouth again, unconsciously moaning, and moaning loudly. "Listen dude!" that same person from before yelled before slamming his fist against the thin wall, "I can't shit if someone jacking off right next to me!" You knew Shawn wasn't listening. His eyes showed the fact that was on another plane of existence right now, who knows what was going on through his head. At this point he wasn't even trying to keep quiet anymore, panting uncontrollably, whining out loud the things you put him through. Shawn grabbed the sides of your head, pulling your back with shaky hands, "I'm not gonna last much longer" "Good" you whispered, shaking your head, "Been waiting since last night" "Holy shit" he sighed, and you wrapped your lips around his tip again, letting his cock slide in your mouth, not caring about any kind of technique or precision anymore, he was done. You sucked hard and fast, until he reached his finish line, thrashed it, passed it, went over the edge and moaned it all out. He shook in your hold as his cum filled your mouth and you swallowed proudly until you had to pull away and end by pumping him in your hand. Jerky breaths followed as a few more drops slipped him his cock and onto your tongue and your palm did a few more laps along his length. "Don't ever make me have to keep quiet again" he threatened shaking, gathering his hair into his hand. "Nah" you shrugged, "I should've done better" Shawn shook his head as he let his weight slide from one wall to the other, allowing you to leave the stall. As you opened the door with absolutely no care in the world, your eyes first landed on the mirror which reflected the figure of the man that had supposedly been in the other stall. "Holy fuck-" you choked, backing away instantly. Your back collided against Shawn who was getting ready to clean himself up and follow you outside. "What?" he asked out loud. "That's the principal" you whispered enraged, slapping his side. "And what do you want me to do?" Shawn laughed, one hand on his dick, one crumbling toilet paper. "I thought he left" you mouthed barely audible as you stomped your foot against the floor. Shawn smiled, turning away and brushing his nose against your cheek trying to get you to turn your head towards him so he reach your lips, but you pulled away frowning. "What?" he looked at you confused. "I can't kiss you, I just sucked your dick, let me rinse my-" With a scoff, Shawn rolled his eyes and grabbed your chin. His lips slammed into yours with passion, his tongue making its way into your mouth instantly. You struggled to follow his lead for as long as you could but since you he took your by surprise, you were soon left without air and had to pull back. "No matter where you put that mouth, I'll still wanna kiss you" As you giggled, you heard the man walk past your door, "You kids have absolutely no manners" he yelled and then left the room. "Oh yeah, this is the teachers bathroom, I forgot to mention" "I figured" Shawn mumbled, buttoning his panties and following you outside. "What's next on the college experience thing?" He asked eagerly. "You're gonna take me home" you laughed. "What? What about you?" "Next time" you shrugged. "If you think what you're doing is noble, you're wrong, you're depriving me of pussy" "What the-" you jumped hearing him saw that out loud on the hallway. "Oh don't try to tell me you think that was obscene..." "It was very obscene" you laughed, shaking your head exaggerating your point. "We'll see" Shawn teased. The conversation continued in the same manner until he dropped you off at the coffee shop so you could take your own car that you left there the night before. As much as you hated that he wasn't coming to work that night, as excited you were about the fact that he had another performance scheduled for the day after, and until then, you just had to find a way to hide just how needy he left you.

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