#too bad we barely see them afterwards.....! hahaha.....! (pain)

[microwaving-tesilid-argente]

who's the cutest side character in s class heroine and why is it hestio ligenel.

his silly tsundere banter with ephael where he talks and yells like ephael is a nuisance and thorn in the side but the two of them are always side by side anyway.

the scene from the webnovel in the toy mansion, where ailette gave ephael extra food and hestio visibly looked extremely upset but didn't say a word about it

the iconic "if you keep using honorifics then we won't be your friends anymore!!!"/"huh? i thought you said tesilid wasn't your friend"/"shut up!!! are you going to let him keep talking like that!" scene.

the gap moe of hestio's resting bitch face (in the webnovel he and ailette locked eyes before the dungeon sink and she instantly averted her eyes bc he looked super mad ahsjdj) vs the way he very frequently looks out for the people around him. and also the gap moe of his long black hair in a elegant braid, and then he opens his mouth and he's just yelling his head off. also the fact that as an adult he normally speaks in a somewhat straight-laced manner, but he's also cheeky and quick to pull people's legs

#hestio ligenel #i am WEEPING he is so cute i want to swing him around #his gap moe is everything..... #(SPOILERS IN NEXT TAGS) #this isnt even including the greenwall scene like #i cry. that scene is everything to me #him crying so loud that u can hear him thru soundproof walls #seeing tesilid and then throttling him bc how DARE he not let them know he's alive #I CRIED AT YOUR FUNERAL AND LEFT FLOWERS ! #ok but all the other side chars are very cute too tho prinz and bia had some VERY good moments in season 1 #too bad we barely see them afterwards.....! hahaha.....! (pain)

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS MORE,BLOOD Vol.01 Sakamaki Ayato [TRACK 9+10]

Original title: 痛みの中で & 極限の吸愛 (デスエクスタシー)

Source: Diabolik Lovers More, Blood Vol. 1: Sakamaki Ayato [CD not owned by me]

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Midorikawa Hikaru

Translator’s note:

Track 1+2 ll Track 3+4 ll Track 5+6 ll Track 7+8 ll Track 9+10

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

TRACK 9: AMIDST THE PAIN

*Rustle*

“Come on...Open your eyes. Keep them only on me, ‘kay?”

Ayato continues to kiss you passionately.

“Mmh...Nn…”

*Smooch*

“I won’t make it hurt...It’ll only feel good…”

You frown.

[00:31] “Aah…? You’re scared regardless? Hahaha. It’ll be over before you know it once the pleasure kicks in.”

You continue to protest. 

“What if you won’t be able to walk anymore, you ask? Good question...Then, I’ll just carry you ‘round instead, Chichinashi. Mmh...Nn…”

*Smooch*

*Rustle rustle*

[01:06] “...Ah. Hah...Fuck...This is startin’ to get seriously dangerous...I’m havin’ a hard time findin’ the strength to twist off your leg as well...Damn...Whatever...I’ll just suck from whichever spot I can reach…Haah...Right. Hahaha...This place might not be half bad…”

*Rustle rustle*

“I haven’t bitten you here yet, have I? ーー Your heart. I’ll give you my fangs here.”

*Cling cling*

*Sluuuuurp*

“I’m sure it’ll be scrumptious…”

You seem skeptical. 

[01:57] “Aah? You wanna know if I can even plunge my fangs inside your heart? Fool! I’m gonna thrust them in really deep. Fortunately, I should just barely be able to reach it even with these chains holdin’ me back. If it turns out to be impossible, there’s still the option of twistin’ off your leg regardless. However, I don’t think that’d be enough to calm my anger, so I’ll chop off your hands as well.”

Your eyes widen in fear.

“Hahaha…”

You beg for his mercy.

[02:35] “What? Don’t start cryin’ already when I haven’t even done anythin’ yet. It’s hella annoyin’...I’m sure it’ll feel amazin’ when I suck from your heart. I’m sure you’re happy as  well. Not only do you get to experience pleasure, but you’re given a chance to offer something precious to the man you love. You might just rank up from bein’ just prey.”

*Rustle rustle*

[03:06] “Hahaha...You’re shiverin’? Don’t worry. You won’t die even if I suck blood from your heart. Well, it’s fine if you’re scared. Just scoot a lil’ closer. I’ll hold you in my arms. Not that you’re particularly soft or cozy to the touch.”

*Rustle rustle*

“...Here I come. Just entrust everythin’ to me. Relax, and accept my fangs.”

*Rustle*

[03:44] “Exactly...Just like that...I’m goin’ straight for the heart.”

Ayato latches down.

“Hahn...Nn...Hah…Keep still!”

*Cling*

“Succumb to me...and don’t resist!”

*Sluuuurp*

“Mmh...Nn…”

*Gulp*

[04:18] “Hah...Haah, haah...This is bad...What’s with this taste? ...Fuck! Hahn…”

*Sluuuurp*

“Haah, hahn...Mmh…”

*Sluuuurp*

“Hahn...Nn...Nnh…”

*Gulp*

[04:46] “Mmh…Haah, haah...Dammit...At this rate...I might just tear apart your heart with my fangs...But still...I can’t stop…”

*Rustle*

“Hahn−!”

*Gulp gulp*

“Hah…! Chichinashi...You don’t mind, do you?”

You tell him it feels good.

“Hahaha...Exactly. It’s amazin’ for me too…I also feel as if I’m ‘bout to melt...Hahn...Mmh…”

*Gulp*

[05:34] “...Haah? Harder? Hahaha! You damn nympho! Don’t come cryin’ to me afterwards if you lose your mind for real. Hahn…”

*Sluuuurp*

“Hahn...Mmh…”

*Rustle rustle*

“Hahー! Mmh...Nn…”

*Gulp*

[06:08] “...Shit...My stomach’s on fire...I don’t know how to describe this sensation as it coats my tongue...Haah…”

*Rustle*

“The one thing I can say is that your blood really is the best...and somethin’ very special to me. Haah, haah...Exactly...Give me more...More!!”

He continues drinking your blood.

“Hahn…”

*Sluuuurp*

“Mmh...Nn...Hah...Hahn…”

*Gulp*

“Hah…!”

*Rustle*

[07:04] “Oi! Don’t go faintin’ on me now! We have to get rid of these chains to escape this place. It might hurt, but you can push through it, right? ...I’ll give you another intense one. I’ll thrust my fangs all the way in at once, so you won’t be able to feel anythin’ but pure bliss. Okay?”

You nod.

[07:35] “Here it comes...I’ll pierce you even deeper…”

*Rustle*

“Ughーー!!”

Ayato bites you aggressively.

*Gulp gulp*

[07:55] “Hahn...Nn...Don’t thrash ‘bout…! It makes it difficult to suck! Hahn…”

*Sluuuurp*

“Hahn...Nn...Mmh…”

*Gulp*

“Nnh…”

*Gulp*

[08:12] “Hah...Don’t worry...We’re almost there...Just focus on feelin’ my fangs…! Hahn...Mmh…”

*Gulp*

“Hah...Mmh...Haah…”

*Gulp*

“Nn...Nnh...Hahー! Hahn...Haah…”

*CLING*

TRACK 10: THE ULTIMATE BLOODY LOVE (1) ( DEATH ECSTASY)

“Haah, haah...Ugh…”

*Cling cling*

“With this...We’ve finally been freed from these vexin’ chains, huh? Hahaha…”

*Smack smack*

“Oi, Chichinashi. You still alive?”

You whimper.

[00:20] “Hahaha...Guess you no longer feel the pain. Seems like the pleasure was just too intense, you can’t even respond. Oi, Chichinashi. Look this way.”

*Rustle*

“Your face’s a mess.”

You ask him about the chains. 

“Haah…? The chains? They came off. It didn’t hurt, did it? Even though realistically speakin’, the pain should have been almost unbearable. Hahaha…”

*Cling*

[00:54] “Ah, speakin’ of which...Reiji did mention once that people lose their ability to experience pain when pushed to their utmost limit. However, I guess the same can’t be said ‘bout pleasure, huh? Humans are seriously fascinatin’...Actually, this might not be a human thing...Chichinashi, you’re the only one who is like this. You’re such a funny chick…

[01:26] Anyway...You’re covered in blood, huh? Well, guess that’s to be expected. You’ve lost all strength in your body as well. Still, while I don’t feel as worked up as before, I’m still thirsty. The fun has only just begun...Thanks to those guys, we’ve got plenty of time on our hands as well.”

*Cling cling*

[01:56] “Hehehe...Guess I should be grateful to them for that at least. ...Say, Chichinashi. We’re in no rush, are we? For starters...It’d be a shame to let this blood gushin’ out go to waste, so I’ll drink it all up.”

*Rustle*

“The heavy scent of your blood…is nearly makin’ me choke… I can’t get enough of it…Haah...It’s makin’ my head spin…”

*Rustle rustle*

[02:31] “Haah...I can’t...The smell is too strong...It seems like it’s meltin’ my brain...Haah...I can’t...think...straight anymore…”

*SPLATTER*

“Fuck...My body’s goin’ numb...Chichinashi...Show me your leg...Haah, haah…”

*Rustle*

[03:10] “Hahaha...Ahahaha! I’m sure this must be quite the horrifying sight from an outsider’s perspective. A blood-covered human female and a Vampire, entertwined in each other’s embrace while bathing in a pool of even more blood...Mmh…”

*Sluuuurp*

“Mm...Nn…”

*Sluuuurp*

[03:46] “Hah...It’s fulfillin’...How do you feel, Chichinashi? I bet you’re happy? I’m covered in your blood from head to toe.”

You fail to reply, merely whimpering in response. 

“I guess you’re too happy, you’re at a loss for words? Hahaha...Guess I can’t blame you. I’m sure you’re strugglin’ to even breathe after losin’ so much blood. ...Ah, from the wound...What a waste.”

*Sluuuurp*

[04:29] “I can’t let it go to waste...Mmh…”

*Sluuuurp*

“Nn...Nnh…”

*Rustle*

“Just lappin’ it up with my tongue doesn’t do the trick. I’m sure you feel the same? You want to feel my fangs even more, don’t you?”

*Rustle rustle*

[05:00] “Oi, Chichinashi. Gimme some sort of reaction. ...Did you faint? Come on!”

*Smack smack*

“Fuck…! Guess it can’t be helped. I guess this might wake her up…?”

Ayato bites you.

“Hahn...Mmh…”

*Gulp*

[05:26] “Haah...No use, huh? Did she lose too much blood after all? Hahaha...But I still haven’t had enough. I’m beyond parched...Mm…”

*Sluuuurp*

“Mmh...Nn…”

*Rustle*

“Hahn...Mmh…”

*Gulp*

[05:59] “Hahー! ...Even if I were to suck you dry, I’d become thirsty again soon after. Hahn...Mmh…”

*Gulp*

*Sluuuurp*

“Mmh...Nn…”

*Rustle*

[06:22] “Hah...You finally gave some sort of reaction, huh?”

You mutter something.

“...Aah? What didya say? Speak a lil’ louder!”

*Rustle*

“Fuck...What a pain…”

He leans in close.

“What’s wrong? What did you say?”

You repeat yourself.

[06:49] “Haah…? You want me to kiss you? ...Haah, fine. Didn’t I tell you earlier? I’ll kiss you as many times as you want. Although as you can see, you’ll end up covered in blood as well as a result.”

*Cling cling*

[07:11] “Haah, haah...Well...I guess you don’t give a damn ‘bout that right now. Now that we’ve walked right into their trap, we can’t turn back time, no matter how much we struggle. In that case, we might as well…”

*Rustle*

“Go as far as we can, pushin’ ourselves to the very limit.”

He kisses you.

[07:47] “Hah...Nn...Chichinashi...Stick out your tongue...Yearn for me...Just like I do for you. Mmh...Mm…”

*Smooch*

“Now that we’ve come this far...You can no longer escape me, Chichinashi...Mm…”

*Smooch*

“You can’t even get out of here without me. ...Right. Should I just tear off your arms as well? Hahaha...Mmh…”

*Smooch*

[08:48] “...Seems like you’re quite into this as well, huh? Yeah...Just like that...Crave me...More and more…! Let’s show those guys exactly what kind of relationship we have...You are my prey. Forever. A special one too at that. Right? ...Come on, lemme suck more. That’s the only way we can enjoy ourselves down here. Besides, I’m still thirsty...Hahn…”

*Sluuuurp*

“Mm...Nnh…”

*Rustle*

[09:41] “So sweet...Haah...More…! I need more…! Hahn...Mmh…”

*Sluuuurp*

*Gulp*

“Hah...Nn…”

*Rustle*

[10:00] “I won’t let anyone else have you. Understood? Exactly. Even if you were to die right now, you’d still belong to me. Mmh...Nn…”

*Gulp*

“Nnh...Nn…”

ーー THE END ーー

Translation notes

(1) 吸愛 which is pronounced ‘Kyuu-ai’ is a word often used within the DL franchise, which actually doesn’t exist in the Japanese language. It’s a combination of the characters for ‘to suck (blood)’ and ‘love’. It’s meant to refer to sucking one’s blood as a metaphor for showing your love for someone. I’ve always translated it as ‘bloody love’ myself in the past, so I will again for the sake of consistency.

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #ayato sakamaki #diabolik lovers more blood #diabolik lovers translation #diabolik lovers drama cd #drama cd

[rsa241]

The truth ( Chapter 3 of Replaced )

Author : I might get the side characters personality wrong or out of character so, I'm sorry about that. Also in this chapter, I made the removal of pacts is painful like how when we ( MC's ) first got them. My writing sucks here so, please bear it with me.

A quick note for the characters colour :

Lucifer, Mammon, Levi, Satan, Asmo, Beel, Belphie. Diavolo, Barbatos, Simeon, Luke, Solomon.

Anyways, enjoy~

After I arrived at Purgatory Hall, I saw Luke running towards me and hugged me.

" Ayumi! Your back! "

" Woah there, did something happened Luke? "

" I'm just worried, because you've been taking too long. "

" I'm sorry, something happened while I was finding my earphone. "

" Did any demons hurt you?! What happened?? "

" Nobody hurt me, I just got kicked out from HOL. "

" You got kicked out?? Why? "

" The demon brothers got someone else they like now. They don't like me anymore after I hurt Freya. "

" But your just protecting Jinx! How could they not believe you?! You have done so much for them too! "

I patted Luke's head. He seemed a bit annoyed but enjoyed it nonetheless.

" Well, it's their loss if they can't see my worth. Plus, I can spend more time with you. "

Luke's face lightened up but his smile immediately turn into a concern frown. "

" Ayumi... "

" Yes? "

" Are you okay? "

" I'm okay, don't worry. Let's go bake with Barbatos, I'm in the mood for sweets today. "

" Oh...okay! I'll go ask Simeon if he wants to come. "

" Alright, I'll bring Jinx. "

After a few minutes, Me, Luke and Simeon rode Jinx as we fly to Diavolo's castle. Soon we arrived, and went inside to greet Barbatos.

" Hello Barbatos. "

" Hello Simeon, Luke, Ayumi. "

" Barbatos you forgot Jinx. "

Barbatos chuckled and patted Jinx.

" My apologies, hello to you Jinx. "

The black feline responded with a soft meow😸.

" Follow me. "

We went inside the castle and Barbatos asked.

" What brings all of you here? "

" We want to bake some sweets. "

" I'm also craving for sweets. "

" I see, let's head to the kitchen now. "

We head to kitchen and started baking one of my favorite desserts, French macaroons. I struggled at first but, I'm able to catch up quickly. I managed to make the macaroon shells looked decent and had a small flour fight with Luke. Barbatos eventually stopped us from wasting more flour and Simeon just laughed at our actions.

After the French macaroons is fully baked, we placed the macaroons on a cake stand and served them with some cakes and tea. Soon after, Diavolo and Solomon joined us. We we're having fun chatting until, I felt my skin is burning. I didn't think removing pacts would be this painful.

I tried to hold the pain but Barbatos noticed it before I could do anything. He place his hand on my shoulder with a concern look. Diavolo took notice and proceeds to worry as well.

" Ayumi, are you okay? "

I pulled my sleeves up and watched my pact marks slowly disappearing. The others seemed pretty shocked and probably angry. I clenched my fist tightly trying to endure for a little but, it just worsen the pain.

" Well...this is painful... "

" Why are your pact marks disappearing...?! "

" I gave the brothers my full consent to remove the pact so, they could have a pact with Freya. "

" Freya? The new exchange student? "

Luke nodded while holding my hand.

" Yeah! She's also the one who hit Jinx! "

" I see... "

" Luke! You shouldn't say that. "

" But it's her fault for getting Ayumi kicked out and hated by the demon brothers! "

" Luke is not wrong, Simeon. "

" I- "

Simeon couldn't say anything and proceeds to pinch the bridge of his nose.

" How are you doing with the pain Ayumi? "

" Worse than your food. "

" Seriously. "

" Haha, Ayumi is still as optimistic as ever. "

" It'll be over soon, please endure it for a little longer. "

I nodded and let myself breathe. The pain slowly subside, as I can feel myself return to my normal state again.

" Ayumi? Does it still hurt?? 🥺"

" Don't worry, I'm okay now. Thanks for asking Luke. " I said while patting Luke's head.

" I'm not a kid you know! " Luke said while pouting like a chihuahua.

" Oh Lord Diavolo, can I go visit to the human world? "

" Of course, when? "

" Tomorrow. I want to visit my sisters. "

" Alright. "

" How long will you be away? "

" Probably for a few days or so. "

" Can you buy something while your at the human world? "

" Is it human world ingredients? "

" Yes. I prepared a list for- "

" No thank you. After being your taste tester last time, I'm not risking myself getting another food poisoning. "

" Why are you so mean 😭 "

Everyone laughed at both of our behavior. Solomon kept begging me until I gave up and ended with a long list of human ingredients in my hand.

At HOL

Freya POV :

After me and the demon brothers arrive at HOL, I close the door behind me and muttered a spell under my breath. Slowly, the chains coiling them. I walked toward the demon brothers while they're struggling to escape under my spell.

" What the- What's this?! "

" Why can't we move?! "

" Ew...what's with colour of these chains? "

" Asmo! This is not the time! "

" Who did this?! "

" Haha...Finally...after centuries of failed attempts, I got all of your seven pacts at last. "

" Freya...? "

Beel eyes widened as he looked at me, confused.

" W-what... "

Belphie looked conflicted trying to process the situation.

" What is the meaning of this Freya?! "

" You still don't get it? I thought your smart enough to figure it out already. "

" Why do ya do this?! "

" Simple, pact marks. "

" What are you going to do with our pact marks?! "

" To defeat Lord Diavolo and rule the three realm. "

" You won't be able to defeat Lord Diavolo. He's stronger than you! "

" You might not know this but, I have an ability to steal powers. Once I steal Lord Diavolo's power, I'll be able to take over Devildom. "

" I can't believe it. We trusted you! "

Everyone's reaction is very amusing to watch. Their disbelief, confused and betrayal expressions are priceless!

" Nobody is going to help any of you. Not Diavolo, Not Barbatos, Not Solomon, Not Simeon. Nobody. "

I stood up and walked around them.

" I also heard that Ayumi is going to the human world tomorrow, to visit her sisters. I guess you won't be able getting any help from her either. "

As I walk in circle, I observe each of their expression. Their wrath seemed to spreading all over them. I couldn't help but cackle in amusement. I decided to tease them a little, to see their guilty faces.

" You should be VERY guilty after what all of you have done. "

I walked to Levi.

" You must be happy for wishing to break off the pacts in front of Ayumi, Levi. I'm really happy, knowing that you would make pact just for me and leave your second player afterwards. She must be really lonely after that. "

" I-I didn't mean to... " Levi muttered while looking at the floor.

I walked over to Belphie.

" You must be very lucky to be able to get away easily. She didn't fought back because she's the oldest, the one who takes all the blame, no matter what. It must be nice being the youngest. "

Belphie looked away from me, not making a single eye contact. Then, I walked over to Beel next.

" You must be satisfied to always have your stomach full. Knowing that humans need to eat to live. Ayumi always gave her food to you, because she know how you're struggling a lot to hold your sin. I feel bad for her really. "

Beel eyes started to form tears and looked away from me. I walked to Satan.

" Since I came here, you've always have been getting more impatient and irritated around Ayumi. You even trashed her room and almost destroy her earphone that was gifted from her sister. She still didn't get mad at you and apologise first instead. Aren't you embarrassed? "

" Shut up. "

Satan hissed at me annoyed. I walked at Asmo

" When you stopped paying attention to Ayumi, you've been rude to her. You say a lot of things about her looks. You forgot the fact that humans are VERY emotional. I've always seen her getting insecure and her anxiety slowly getting to her since then. Don't you feel bad? "

" That's not true! My darling won't- "

Asmo broke into tears afterwards. I walked to Mammon.

" Your supposed to protect her Mammon. She manage to get you away from trouble and took the punishment instead. She stand up for you, comfort you with her encouraging words. But, this is how you repay her kindness? "

Mammon looked down at the floor without a word. Lastly, I walked to Lucifer.

" And you. Ayumi doesn't like you the most. We all know how Ayumi has a lot similarities, when it comes comparing her to you. She always had to deal with your long ass lecture. Even though, she had helped you with works. Even in secret, she would lessen your work just to let you spend with your brother. Good job Lucifer. "

Lucifer stare at me with a death glare. He still not putting down his pride.

" Do you know why she did that? "

" She's just doing that because she hated me overworking myself. "

" True, but that's not the main reason. "

" What do you mean by that? "

I bend down on one knee and look at Lucifer.

" She did that for you not to make the same mistake as her. Ayumi always study non-stop just to meet her parents expectations. She barely had any time to spend time with her sisters. They we're very young at that too. One of them also happen to be an infant. "

Lucifer's face slowly turning guilt but manage to stay compose.

" One day, when she return from school. She saw her house on fire. She manage to get her sisters out but, they died...right in her arms with burn scars. She had always been guilty about it. She even got blame for that. Since then, she had always pretend that her sisters we're still alive. Even though she knew, they're gone. "

Lucifer's eyes widened, his face slowly become guilty. I probably remind him Lilith. I love their guilty faces. I laughed.

" HAHAHA! Look at your faces! Seven rulers of Hell, feeling guilty for that pitiful human?! HAHAHA! I'm only teasing but who knew! HAHAHA! "

" Don't call her that! "

" OH, so you finally decide to do something good for her? WELL too bad! I'm going to kill every single of you, once I steal Diavolo's power. You'll be dead before you could say sorry! "

I casted a spell where black thorny vines coiling them. They didn't struggle, they we're too guilty for what they have done. Slowly, their eyes turning lifeless grey as if they're not breathing anymore.

" Now, sleep...Let your sorrow and regrets consume you. "

The next day at Divolo's castle

Ayumi POV :

As I stood next to Barbatos, Lord Diavolo opened a portal to the human world. I picked up Jinx and looked at everyone. Luke seems sad.

" Luke? What's wrong? "

" Please come back quickly! "

" I'll try okay. I will bring back some human world desserts too. "

I patted Luke's head as his eyes brighten up.

" I'll get going now. "

As I was about to walk into the portal, a bright light flashed everywhere and loud rumbling sound. Suddenly my body is slammed to the wall, bleeding. I tried to look up with my trembling state to see someone familiar stood in front of Diavolo.

It was Freya...

" Hello there Lord Diavolo. "

She clawed her fingers in the demon prince's neck. Diavolo couldn't release himself from Freya's grasp.

" I hope you don't mind me borrowing your powers for a while. "

As her fingers dig deeper into the demon prince's neck, Diavolo's eyes slowly turning grey as if he was lifeless. Barbatos tried to attack from behind but Freya able to stop him and slowly draining his powers with her strong grasp.

My eyes widened, I couldn't believe what I witness. I clenched my fist in trying to hold my wrath until, Solomon came and help me stand up.

" Hey are you okay? "

" I'm okay. Where's Simeon and Luke? " I asked, worried if they're injured.

" Don't worry, they're both are hiding. I'll teleport you to them, while I distract Freya. "

I grabbed Solomon's hand immediately.

" Are you crazy?! She'll steal your powers and kill you! "

" I know, but I'd hate it more seeing you hurt. Don't worry, I'll come back. I'm an immortal after all. "

Solomon then casted a spell and teleported me to a hiding spot, where Simeon and Luke is.

" That motherfucker. "

I looked around to find Simeon hugging Luke, calming the little angel. I went to them and cup Luke's face.

" Luke! Are you okay?! Did you get hurt?! "

" I-I'm okay! "

" What happened to Solomon? "

" He's distracting Freya right now. We have to get out of here before she comes- "

BOOM

Freya walked towards us dragging Solomon's body. Following with seven familiar figure behind her. It was the demon brothers. I hold Luke's shaking hand while Simeon stood in front of me.

" Just where do you think your going? "

To be continue~

#obey me #obeyme #obey me mc #obey me fanfic #obey me one master to rule them all #obey me shall we date

[trashcatsnark]

Ooooh, gimmie those juicy, juicy Johnny backstory headcanons 👀👀👀

Okay, so I always feel kind of bad? I guess, talking about my ideas of his backstory because A) I feel like they’re very cliche, 

B) I know I don’t know every drop of TTRPG Lore, despite that not truly being canon to the game a lot of the time and also the cyberpunk universe timeline is kinda a mess, so i just do whatever i want (like samurai’s starting when he was 15 and also when the war he served in started, like the amount of overlap between the war and samurai’s active years is insane and the game can’t decide when Johnny was a soldier and when he was a grungy rocker)  

C) given CDPR still plans to expand on the game with DLC and stuff, I know it’s fully possible that my ideas will be debunked in the coming months. 

So, take all of these ideas with a grain of salt and as always if your headcanons conflict with mine; that’s cool that’s why they’re headcanons

I feel like Johnny had a rough childhood firstly, cause in the immortal words of Linda Belcher;  “Look at how you stand. People who had good childhoods don't stand like that.” Like everything about him screams shitty childhood. My brain for some reasons specifically imagines, alcoholic abusive father and enabling compliant mother. Which, again, I know is the cliche of shitty childhood backstories, but it is cliche largely because its an unfortunately common reality. I imagine his first guitar is probably one of the only nice gifts he ever got and music was largely an escape. I came up with the idea too of his father having been a blue collar worker who was injured on the job; unable to work afterwards, given barely anything for workers comp and ongoing unemployment. Leaving the family struggling financially. Fucked over by his employers, turning to abusing pills and alcohol to cope with pain and raging at Johnny and Johnny’s mother. Teaching and instilling habits that would follow Johnny too. 

I like the idea of Johnny and Kerry meeting first as kids, junior high to high school. And between the years of at least 13-15, the earliest conception stages of samurai started. And I do mean the earliest, messiest, barebones stages of Samurai; it was basically two teenage boys playing and scream singing their unrefined lyrics in a garage. Cause they were kids and just wanted something to do, something to get their mind off the shitstorm of life. Maybe, i debate internally, they do manage to meet Nancy, Denny, and Henry maybe they all grew up in Texas and with someone more competent even at their young ages, Nancy manages to get them actually going a bit as a young band. A few little underground grungy gigs playing at bars they weren’t old enough to drink in. 

Now again, formation of Samurai and Johnny serving in the war, lead to like the biggest question marks in his backstory because nothing lines up very well. The war he served in started when he was fifteen, albeit that’s not for sure when he enlisted. Given we’ve been told children can in universe be scouted by corps to be their soliders; its not out of the realm of possibility that he served before he was 18 and was drafted as a child. But. Johnny specifically states he enlisted, that he made that choice. I’ve stated before that given how long the war lasted, its fully possible he enlisted at 18, served so much of the last four years of the war then ditched following his friend dying for him. 

However, I have also considered and really do personally like the idea, that Johnny did enlist himself and did so prior to being 18, though not as young as 15. Because, he forged his documents to enlist. There’s incidents and documentation of people as young as 15 faking their birth certificates and high school diplomas in order to enlist. I could absolutely see a 16-17 year old Johnny, frustrated with life and thinking he could have a bigger impact in the world in the military, forging his documents and enlisting. This leads to of course Samurai breaking up for that time. 

He serves around 4-5 years, deserting and leaving around 2009. Spends his month spinning his wheels and staring at the Pistis Sofia. He comes out of his funk and is ready to send his message about the dangers of corps to the world and he knows just how to do it. Fully adopts the name Johnny Silverhand and goes to track down his old friend Kerry. Samurai is freshly reformed. 

Right around that same time, he meets Rogue. (which even this is fucky in canon????? Rogue says lets pretend its 2015 and idk what a bastard you are, Alt died in 2013, he’d already cheated on Rogue by then???? ANYWAY) They meet about the 2009-2010 mark as Samurai is coming back together. Personally, I like to imagine they met while she was on the job. She had to eliminate a target who happened to be at the venue Samurai was doing a gig and Johnny managed to stumble upon her snapping the guy’s neck or something. And she thinks her covers blown, but hahaha Johnny’s into that and is like “hey, you want a drink?” and is then like determined to get with her and they fall into a relationships. Then around 2011-2012 he fucks it all up, cheats, there in my opinion is definite overlap in his relationship with Rogue and his relationship with Alt. 

I also feel like he met Alt at a samurai gig? I can’t remember the TTRPG lore of it, but I feel like in general Johnny met most of the women he had relationships with at Samurai gigs, partially cause he’s a just...a liitle egotistical. Alt however was there as someone who was genuinely into the music, (Rogue at one point in canon condescendingly calls her a groupie and I can’t but feel there’s a bit of truth in thats how it started). But Johnny started to legitimately feel things for her, but being Johnny, he never properly articulated that and always had to keep fucking it up. They fall into a pretty whiplashy toxic relationship over the course of a year or two where they do genuinely feel for each other, but Johnny can’t ever let his walls down enough to tell her that in earnest and is constantly doing things to fuck up the relationship, cause he’s a dick. Until in 2013, well, we know what happens. 

Johnny has to spend some time with nomads, (probably after releasing Never Fade Away, because I do see this man as the kind of guy to postpone going in hiding just to release his song for Alt before doing so) as do Rogue and Santiago after the attack on Arasaka. Because Johnny’s busy trying not to be spotted. They wait for the heat to die down before Johnny comes back to Night City. Him and Rogue rekindle things for a time, but it ultimately is on and on and dies out again, because Johnny is stinky bastard man. Kerry had already been talking about going solo and by the time Johnny’s back in the city he had and Johnny does his solo thing for a while too. But ultimately Samurai reforms for a bit, in 2020, neither Kerry or Johnny quite ready to let it go yet. Somewhere also during this, Spider Murphy helps deliver a message from Alt about her status and asking him to let it go. He does not and joins the Morgan Blackhand mission to attack Arasaka Tower in hopes of saving Alt’s construct in the process. 

Thats the barebones of some of my thoughts and headcanons; Im sure some are not lore compliant, I’m sure my timeline is messy and clashes horrifcally with CDPR’s also messy timeline. But, these are some of my thoughts, headcanons and ideas that will probably be defunct and pointless in a week. 

#cyberpunk 2077 #cp2077 #johnny silverhand #THIS IS PROBAbLY A MESS AND IM SORRY #Anonymous

[inknose]

mdzs read diary part IV, the end

It’s inspiring how much self care wwx is gonna finally get now that his husband will go along with whatever he does, so he’s gotta look out for lwj’s well being if not his own. that is emphatically the STUFF

dragging my hands down I face as I read this, after all these chapters of getting up close and personal with ghouls bleeding from every orifice, slaying ancient beasts, rebelling against the entire cultivation world, the two of them are absolutely paralyzed by middle school crush sleepover math

chicken

he actually drew kissy doodles .... he....

IDK I THINK I JUST DOCUMENTED THIS PART CUZ I WAS STILL SCREAMING you cant expect me to have very useful things to say at this point

this is torture you are both so mushy you are so GONE

This part really stood out to me, it’s an attitude I feel like wwx implies with his inner narration a few times but most clearly says here: he’s not one for allowing himself to exaggerate how bad his circumstances are/could be even a little bit - he’s already lived through some extreme low points and found a way to keep going, so he never makes sweeping statements about what he couldn’t live without (Inner JingYi: you’re supposed to say you’d be lost without him here!!!) Instead he seems to accept as a given that being alive doesn’t guarantee him any pleasantness or joy at all, and as a result his feelings toward being in TRUE LOVE are surprisingly pragmatic, but also colored with such gratitude. There are a lot of things in the novel that struck me, like this, as being just a little to the left of familiar tropes/sentiments, and were more touching for it. Whether it be the influence of culture difference as opposed to what I’m used to reading in most western romance stories, or MXTX’s unique outlook, or a combination of both, it was really refreshing and made me pause over it. Not “I can’t imagine living without you” but “I could be living without you, but instead I get to be with you and I think that’s the best thing that could happen.”

ADJFDKFJ THE UST BEING SO STRONG THAT EVEN THE VILLAIN COMMENTS ON IT IN THE MIDDLE OF EXECUTING HIS EVIL PLANS IS ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT WILL NEVER FAIL TO MAKE ME LAUGH MY ASS OFF. hes like god damn! here I thought I had problems

it was at this moment that I realized we were doing this Now... I’m still recovering. What a scene. I am so glad I saw the most incredible fanart soon afterwards, bc the fact that someone has already drawn a perfect comic of this part means I don’t have to

I love you so much, you are so annoying, you are perfect... I like how he’s been experiencing openly requited love for all of ten minutes but he’s already figured out how to weaponize it to piss people off

doing!!! his!!! job!!!!!

ahh... it’s a really good story. JGY is a great character. One of the most interesting differences for me between drama watching vs. novel reading experience is that without an actor to bat his vulnerable doe eyes at you and smile faintly with his cute dimples, the book does not go much out of its way to try to lull the reader into a false sense of security around him or *endear* him to you the way the show does. But just by seeing events through wei wuxian’s POV, its still enough to evoke pity or understanding towards him. The overall impression is a bit more detached though, there’s less emphasis on the spectacle of how he could manipulate everyone closest to him and more of a general feeling of resigned tragedy that everyones the worst on this bitch of an earth.

I CANNOT DEAL WITH YOU FOR EVEN ONE MORE SECOND!!!!

I clearly paused to take note of less and less parts at the end & the extras due to: a) too excited to reach the end b) too spicy to photograph and c) too sleepy cuz I kept reading in the middle of the night. but I absolutely took the time for Bro We Are Teens appreciation corner:

I’d absolutely read 40 more extra chapters of their monster-of-the-week field trip antics.

god... poor Jin Ling now basically has to deal with divorced parents that talk shit about each other to him whenever he is saying with one of them. except they are both his uncles. just a disasterhood of all uncles from start to finish. AUUUGH wei wuxian and jiang cheng have fucked me up completely, I dream of them reconciling but I also REFUSE to believe it would ever be easy. let me know if theres a fanfic that absolutely tortures you for decades before they hug

HAHAHA oh no this man ain’t making it to immortality thats for damn sure. HE’S JUST GONNA TRY AS HARD AS HE CAN HIS WHOLE LIFE NOT TO LOOK AT HIM BUT THEYRE *MARRIED* SDLKFJSF ohhhh it’s too funny, like... the mundane domestic family drama IN the fantastical swords and sorcery setting is what really ratchets up these things from amusing to fucking hilarious I think

aaaa the end... final random thoughts? No not final, I would like to please keep discussing at length and exhaustively, all the time please - CQL has gotta be one of the best TV adaptations I’ve seen. ANY adaptation of anything would be lucky to be so good!! reading the novel has just made me appreciate it even more.

- I don’t think I can do justice to what I find most fascinating about comparing the two versions briefly, to do that I need to get drunk and ramble at my friends for hours but... the condensed version is something like this. Really all the significant differences between the two versions (besides the ones which can be attributed to censorship and therefore aren’t worth discussing) are a side effect of the structure of how the story is told - there’s barely anything changed arbitrarily. Aside from having a cold opening, the drama sticks to a very linear version of the story, and I think for a TV show or film, that’s probably the best way to do it. We see everything, we get shocked and tricked and betrayed and surprised along with the characters, we feel the biggest impact at the climactic scenes having experienced all the build-up. The novel on the other hand is not only much more non-linear in WHEN we learn bits and pieces of information, but that information is also obfuscated under wei wuxian’s multiple layers of Unreliable Narratoritis, which are as follows: 1) difficulty remembering things because of personality/avoiding painful memories/actual memory loss, 2) No Homo Goggles still on, and 3) a wry sense of humor that makes the reader unsure of how much they can trust his attitude toward things, especially near the beginning. The experience of reading is a puzzle the reader has to mentally piece together through all of the above listed camouflage, and the puzzle itself is a three-sided mystery: One - How Bad of a guy was Wei WuXian really, and how exactly did all the bad stuff in his life go down; Two - wangxian epic pride & prejudice gambits; Three - political murder mystery. (I love stories like this btw... though I fully admit I’m glad I watched first this time bc it might have taken me a long time to tackle otherwise.) Because of this, where the drama wants to pull you in and submerge you in all the most potent emotional parts, the novel in direct contrast deliberately side-steps around these things and asks that you hurt yourself by filling in the blanks. In fact the more intense emotions and painful memories involved, whether it be his relationship with jiang yanli, his DEATH, the darkest days of war times etc, the more the novel evasively withholds details. I actually really like both styles of storytelling but each one is obviously way better suited to its medium. ANYWAY.... THATS BASICALLY WHERE MY BRAINS AT WHILE IM READING GAY SWORD WIZARD BOOKS

- The extras are so saturated with domestic married bliss that it’s a good thing I stopped taking pictures because I’d just take a picture of every page. this is too much for me to take... I did jump the gun a few times and read a few fanfics while I was still mid-read of the book (I tried to hold out but alas I am mortal) and at one point after finishing I was like “wow what fic was it in where lwj says something cute and wwx kisses him in public but they’re in the corner of the restaurant so no one really sees... OH NO WAIT that was actually in there.” and ... and that’s the LEAST OF IT... *stares into the distance* theyre married wow

- I ofc couldn’t help but see a few vague blogs beforehand so honestly I was braced for something like, wildly ooc for the sake of porn to happen in the extras... I definitely appreciate how the incense burner porn interludes could be uhhh a lot for many people and not my personal cup of tea in terms of smut however [here follows the words of a poisonous frog who has dwelt her whole life in the rainforests of BL] the concept is also surprisingly SWEET SDFLKJF like wwx sees lan wangji’s darkest mixed-up violent teenage fantasies and he’s just like aww babe you had a crush on me!! just... good for them

- I swear I’m not gonna rehash every cute married thing they do but wei wuxian grading papers in the tub........................rEALLY GOT ME

- I want to Draw - ok thats enough if I keep going I’ll just write “wei wuxian grading papers in the tub” seven more times probably

#mdzs readthru #this obviously has many spoilers

[bmared]

Forgiveness.

To some, it's the literal definition.

To me, it meant letting someone have their way with whatever they want.

After a long, difficult battle, the shark themed villain, dubbed "Placoi" by the media, seemed to disappear into thin air.

"Damn it, she always seems to get away, doesnt she?" My young ward, Overcharge, asked.

I only nodded in agreement, but the smile on my face showed nothing but absolute joy. I could barely contain my excitement, and it took all my effort not to squeal with joy, like my mild mannered alter ego would. After months of battling, and racking up millions of dollars in damages, we were so close to stopping her.

Back in our lair, on a remote island, I'm taking off my super suit, when my phone gets a call.

"Miss Mabry," it's my assistant. "You have an appointment in twenty. Get here on time or I'm removing your coffee priviledges."

"Okay, Piper, I-" I was cut off.

"You have a caller ma'am. Someone named 'Alyssa Dukes'? D'you want me to patch her through?" Piper asked.

I rubbed my temples. Fifth time today I've had a random caller. It better not be a marketer.

The call goes through and I hear on the opposite end,"Hello? Is this Miss Mabry?" The voice is very familiar.

"Yes this is, how can I help you?" I answer with confusion.

The caller, Alyssa, replies,"We need to talk about your work ethic. You, almost catching me, again? Hahaha."

A chill goes down my spine. "How, in the hell, did you find out?"

"Tracker." She replies. "You use a tracker on all your shit to keep track of it. Last week, a prototype coffee machine went missing from one of your stores. Unfortunately, the chip wore out after an hour. Fortunately, I was able to mimic the signal with my own piece of crap hardware, and what do i find? Miss Alyx Mabry is "Shark Match"? I mean, c'mon. Give me a little credit."

"What happens now?" I ask.

"Now, nothing. But a week from now, you'll know. And, dont worry. I wont share your secret as long as your secretary deletes this audio as soon as you've finished tracking my signal. Come alone. I'll be there by myself."

The call ends, and I have a location.

"Ma'am?" Piper asks.

"I guess I'm losing coffee priviledge, huh?"

"Same cover?" She prompts.

"No, tell them I just didn't want to come."

--------------------------------------------------

I get to the site the call led me to, and I find it's an abandoned warehouse on the edge of town. One of mine.

I get inside, and theres a table set up for what looks like dinner. A woman sits at the table with her back to me. I pull out my capture gun and launch a volley at her. It wraps around, and I hear the click telling me its locked in place.

"Oh, tsk tsk tsk. I told you unarmed." I hear from her. "But I guess, seeing as how this isnt technically a 'firearm', it doesnt count."

I approach her, slowly.

"Dont be afraid, sweetheart. If I wanted to hurt you, I would've went after that brat of yours, 'Overcharge'. By the way, what kind of douche calls 'imself 'overcharge'?"

I round the table and sit in the open chair.

"So, why did you call?" I ask, eyeing the spaghetti.

"I didn't poison it, if that's what your wondering." She answers. "And, I called you here because I have a proposition for ya'."

"Not interested" I answer quickly.

"Oh, c'mon. You dont even know what it is."

"Dont need to." I take a bite. I dont care if its poisoned, it tastes delicious. Weird after taste, though.

"Actually, you might wanna. The sleeping pill is gonna take effect soon, what with your heightened metabolism and all."

"Damnit" I bang my head on the table.

"I'm kidding" she says.

She flexes, and the ropes break, and I flinch.

I look up at her, and shes standing next to the table, in a black suit that hugs her curves.

"All I'm asking for is your forgiveness, and I'll stop all my crimes." She says, seriously.

"You arent serious, are you? The public would never allow that! You'd be lucky with life in prison." I yell.

"But what the public doesn't know, wont hurt them." She prompts.

"Huh?"

"Hear me out," she asks," we continue this whole 'pissing contest' in public, I terrorize the citizens, bring what seems like calamity, and you 'stop me'." She says, using air quotes. "During our fights, I'll cause little to no structural damages, I'll keep my zero body count-yes, I've kept track- and I'll put up practically no fight. How does that sound?"

"Like you actually did drug me."I reply with a straight face.

"Whether or not you believe me, or even accept this, it's still gonna happen." She sits back down and takes a bite of bread.

"What even prompted this?" I ask.

"I fell in love, and realized who I love will never accept me the way I am right now." She says.

"Wha?"

"Look, the answers not important. Just know I'll be cutting back on crime time."

"Why couldnt you have just said that?"

"Would you have believed me?"

I take a second.

"Yeah, you're probably right."

--------------------------------------------------

Months later, and she was true to her word. I'd only fought her 12 times, about a third of her original time, and not so much as a scratch was put on the buildings.

During those months, I actually spent time with her, learning her past, trying to understand her. After hearing her story, it was no wonder she did what she did. With parents who acted like that, I woulda snapped. Slowly, ever so slowly, I realized we had a blossoming friendship. I saw a lot -probably too much- of myself in her. We got into a rhythm of after fighting, to sit down and talk.

After the twelfth fight, I finally had the courage to ask, "So, who was this mysterious man you fell in love with?"

She looked at me with a pained look.

"Nevermind that," she waved away the question. "Tell me, is there anyone in your life whose caught your eye?"

"Nuh-uh. You cant turn this on me. I asked you first." I stared her down.

"Fine." She said, breaking eye contact and staring at her lap, where she cradled a cup of tea. "First, before I tell you, you ahve to answer this question."

"It better not be a relationship question."

"Its not." She says. She looks around, closes her eyes, and stares at me, saying, "Do you think anybody can be redeemed? Do you think anyone can get forgiveness for any deed done, barring murder?" She bites her lip in worry.

I shake my head and giggle a little. "You've already asked this, and I said yes."

"I know, I just need to get enough courage to confess to you." She says.

"Wha-?"

She interrupts."I fell in love with you, but because I'm a villain, and you're a hero, I thought I could never tell you that. But, after all this time, I've grown as a person. I've still got some way to go, though."

"I-im flattered that you think that way, but-"

"You're straight, arent you, of course you are, why wouldnt you be. You're literally the perfect woman, and her I am, being a negative influence on everyone. I should've never invited you over, I'm sorry." She runs away, before I could stop her.

I get up and call after her, yelling "Alyssa!" But she either cant hear me, or doesn't want to. I dont panic, though. I cant. My phone starts to ring, and Its my assistant.

"Damnit Piper" I answer. "Now's probably the worst time. What do you want?"

"Its almost time for your speech. And, my names Jannet." She says blankly. Speech? I think to myself.

"Sorry, Jannet. I'm still trying to get used to Piper not being here." Is what I actually say.

"You're the one who promoted her."

I hang up and look towards the door Alyssa ran out. I take a step towards it, when my phone rings with a reminder. I glance at it, it says 'Mayoral inaugural speech'.

I put my phone down, and race towards the other door. I open it, and inside is my suit.

"Well, Shark Match," I say to myself," Time to Come out of the closet so your crush doesn't destroy New Yallk City. Man, sounds like a bad autobiography. Or a fanfiction title.

-------------------------------------------

The Mayor is exactly like you'd imagine him. Slimy and not particularly firm in any ideology that doesn't secure his vote. As a citizen asked to prepare a speech to secure to African American vote, I lost all faith in this man. But today I lost the additional bit of faith I didn't even realize I had. I don't like to keep up with politics, as someone in my line of work shouldn't, so it was a surprise to me when, in the middle of my speech, someone from the paper yelled "Why are you against gay marriage? Is it because of your parents."

"Who said that?" I yell. "I was trying to find some way to put it, but it didnt feel natural until now. It'd be pretty bad for my community if I went against it, now wouldn't it? I didnt even realize this man" I point to the mayor, "thought like that. What, do I need to wear the lesbian flag as a Cape now? Actually, that be awesome."

I shoot one more glare at the mayor, who's sweating by now. "Give him one term. If he doesnt clean up his act by then, I'll run for mayor myself. I'll even reveal myself at that point. Hows that sound?" The crowd cheers.

The dinner afterward was a littel awkward on his end, but only one thought kept going through my head. 'Did Alyssa see?'

----------------------------------------------

It was midnight when I heard my window squeak. I heard footsteps come close to my bed, a piece of paper get placed on my nightstand, and footsteps retreat.

I wait a minute, then get out of bed and turn on a light. The paper says "This friday, Same warehouse, 9pm. Wear something sexy, I need to apologize.

-Signed

Alyssa dukes"

I smile and set the note back down, pleasant thoughts accompanying me to dreamland..

#writing prompt #my own oc #hopefully this isnt that much of garbage #short story #im a terrible writer

[krreader]

BTS reacting to medical!reader

pairing: bts x reader fandom: bts warnings: medical!reader (e.g. nurse, doctor etc.) ; hospitals ; smoking ; language genre: fluff ; crack ; maybe a hint of smut?

a/n: I’m all for doctor!au’s so this is like my jam hahaha

ask box | masterlist | fandoms | faq | multifandom reader blog

kim seokjin

Jin really felt like a huge reason as to why he recovered so quickly was the fact that he had you by his side.

He knew that nurses were often not as much appreciated as doctors were, but for him, you did more than any doctor ever could have. Because you weren't just treating him like a patient, but as a human being with feelings. You listened to his worries and you laughed at his dad jokes, which turned out to be a rather wonderful medicine.

So even though he had already been discharged, he waited in the parking lot of the hospital with a bouquet of flowers only two weeks later and smiled when you left the building, putting on your coat and walking over to your car.

“Jin?” you laughed as you walked closer, “Is.. is that you?”

“It is,” he grinned.

“God.. almost didn't recognize you without the hospital gown. How are you feeling?”

“I'm really good. Thank you again for all your hard work.”

“It's quite alright. It's my job after all.”

“Maybe,” he handed you the bouquet with the most beautiful smile you had ever seen in your life, “Still.. these are for you. For everything you did.”

“Oh.. thank you.. I never get flowers..,” you inspected them carefully as you giggled and looked back up at him, “But they're beautiful, really. So thank you.”

“I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner with me? As.. you know.. as in a date? And as a thank you, of course?”

“You want to go out with me?”

“Is that so unbelievable?”

“Well.. look at you,” you looked down at yourself, still in your work clothes, “And then me.”

“I don't know.. I still see the most beautiful woman in the world standing in front of me.”

“Oh god,” you chuckled and hooked your arm with his, “Alright then, Casanova. Lead the way.”

min yoongi

He was just minding his own business, waiting outside the hospital for Jimin to finally come out, when he suddenly heard: “You do realize that stuff kills you, right?”

Yoongi looked up, finding someone in a white coat standing in front of him with her head cocked to the side.

“A bus could hit me too, doesn't mean I don't go out anymore,” he murmured, his cigarette still between his lips.

“Maybe,” you walked over to him, a small smile playing on your lips, “But take it from someone who has seen the effects that smoking has? You really should stop. You've got great teeth from what I can see, a great complexion and you look like someone who's enjoying himself sexually.”

Yoongi laughed, finally taking it out of his mouth to wet his lips with his tongue, “Do I?”

“Yeah.. and your future partners won't enjoy themselves in the slightest if you don't have any stamina left after five minutes because you've been smoking so much.”

“What do you know about my stamina then, doc?”

“Let's just say I've got a good eye,” you grinned.

“I could just take you out.. and you could see for yourself..”

“You could do that,” you took one more step and he thought you would kiss him for a second, but instead, you grabbed the cigarette out of his hands and bit your lower lip, “But I don't like guys that smoke.”

And with that you turned around on your heel and walked back into the hospital.

And even though he had been smoking for years, he thought about giving it up, just so he had a shot with you.

And guess what? He did.

jung hoseok

The first couple of seconds he didn't know where he was, what was going on.. didn't even really know who he was.

He didn't remember what had happened and why he felt so.. weird.

Hoseok's vision was blurry, but all of sudden, something that looked a lot like a face appeared in front of him. A smiling one.

“Hey there,” your voice was soft, but cheerful, “You don't have to worry, okay? You're in the hospital and I just finished your surgery. You're probably feeling a little dizzy and weird right now but that's completely normal, I promise. Try to get some more sleep, alright? And I'll talk to you again when you wake up.”

He could barely make out what you were saying.. all he could focus on was your smile.

And when he woke up, hours later, still high on the pain killers, he couldn't help but ask the nurse.

“Did you see her too?”

“See who, darling?”

“The angel.. there was an angel.”

The nurse started smiling and chuckling soon after, “You mean your surgeon? Doctor (Y/L/N)?”

“She.. she was an angel. I'm sure of it.”

kim namjoon

“Calm down, hyung, it's probably not that bad,” Jimin walked over to him, putting one hand on his shoulder, “You'll be able to perform next week, I'm sure of it.”

Whatever worries he had, they vanished the second the door got opened and were replaced by completely different ones.

“Mister.. Kim? Kim Namjoon?” you looked up from the file and closed the door when he nodded, walking over to a gawking Namjoon and extending your hand, “I'm Doctor (Y/L/N).”

“H..- Hi,” this day, Namjoon found out he had a new kink to add to his kink list. Unfortunately, it really was the wrong time to find that out.

“It says here that you fell during practice? So it's the ankle?”

He just stared at you like a moron and Yoongi had to nudge his side for him to clear his throat and nod, “Y-Yes. That's right.”

“Alright, then,” you pulled the chair closer and took a look at his foot, “You let me know if it hurts, okay?”

“That's usually my line,” he mumbled.

“Sorry?”

“Huh? What?” his eyes widened, not having realized that he had said that out loud, “No, no, it's okay. I will.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, but continued to examine his foot.

In the end it really wasn't as bad as it looked and he would definitely be able to perform again soon.

But even though he entered the examination room with one problem, he left with two, and Yoongi couldn't help but clap him on the back and laugh, before saying: “There's a bathroom over there. We'll wait for you if you want to take care of your problem before we leave. Or do you want me to ask the pretty doctor if she could help you out?”

“With all due respect, hyung? Fuck off,” but in all honesty? 

He would like nothing more than that.

park jimin

“Uhm.. Doctor (Y/L/N)?”

“Hm?” you didn't look up from the file you were reading, sipping your coffee at the same time.

“These.. Bangtan Boys. The band.. could it be that one of them has a major crush on you?”

“What?” you laughed and looked up at the nurse, “How come?”

“Well..” she looked at something behind you. And when you turned around you realized that it wasn't a something, but a someone.

Jimin, to be more precise. Who, for some reason, wore a suit today and looked incredibly attractive, no doubt in that. He had been flirting with you ever since one of his band members had become one of your patients, but it almost seemed like he wanted to impress you today.

“Doctor,” he smiled seductively as he past you and followed the into the room that their band member was in, while you could only stare at him with an open mouth.

The second the door was closed however, he turned to them and began to panic, “Oh my god, it was too much, wasn't it? She's going to think I'm weird and now she won't ever talk to me again and..- oh my god, what have I done, I just ruined it all!”

And even though you had promised yourself never to do this, ever in your life, you ended up slipping him his number at the end of the day. That guy has tried so hard, it was time that his efforts finally paid off.

kim taehyung

The nurse before had told him to wait in the outside area of the cafe, so now here he was, surrounded by beautiful flowers and the sun shining down on him, while his throat hurt like crazy after the surgery.

“Mister.. Kim?” he turned his head, squinting his eyes up at you, before they widened when he saw how pretty you looked.

He wanted to get up, wanted to bow and be respectful, but in the haste of getting up, the chair fell back and he almost blacked out. Not a good idea to get up that quickly when surgery hasn't been that long ago.

You helped him sit back down, before joining him at the table and handing him some ice cream, “My colleague had an emergency, so I'll spend the rest of the day with you, if that's alright?”

“Eating.. eating ice cream together?”

“Mhm,” you raised your own up with a happy smile, “It'll help your throat.”

Well, he could imagine much worse things to do than eating ice cream with a pretty nurse and getting to know her in the process. And before he knew it, he spent his entire stay here with you, playing games, talking, eating ice cream..

..so as unhappy as he had been before the surgery about it, he walked away with the number of a nurse that he otherwise never would have met, so he was quite alright with it afterwards.

jeon jeongguk

He was bored. Just so freaking bored.

Racing himself and trying to see how fast he can go up and down the hallways of the hospital was his only entertainment at this point.

If it wasn't for his pretty physio therapist that stopped him every damn time.

You cleared your throat and crossed your arms in front of your chest, while cocking your head to the side with a smirk and Jeongguk had to basically slam on the breaks not to roll you over.

“What did I tell you about not racing?”

You weren't mean about it, you only ever pretended to scold him, because you knew that it was no use. You knew how bored he must be and you didn't hold it against him. You’d be too..

“I'm sorry, (Y/N),” but like every time, he lowered his head in shame.

You let out a sigh and raised your hand to look at your watch.

“I've got fifteen minutes. I can take you outside, if you want to? We could do some more walking exercises?”

“Really?” his eyes widened when he was looking back up at you

“If you promise me to be more careful.”

He nodded like a child on Christmas and if his legs worked properly, he would have bounced up and down, probably.

He really hit the jackpot with you as his physio therapist. The only reason why this hospital didn’t fully suck.

#bts imagine #bts reactions #bts x reader #bts #bangtan #bangtan reaction #bangtan boys #kpop #kpop imagines #kpop reactions #bangtan sonyeondan #reader #bangtan x reader #bangtan boys x reader #requests

[chychylover]

The World Ends With Xion

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17422160 Also Posted Here

She thought that the afterward would be colder, or that the heart would be warmer. What Xion felt instead was all senses ripped from the core that created the feeling of existence. The only thing the former puppet could see was light. The color white dominated her vision until nothing else remained.

~~~

Even though the world around Xion was warm and bright, she still felt like a solid singularity, a speck of darkness that would taint the area she now inhabited if nothing changed.

Before she could even debate on ridding herself of her own existence, a small sound started to break through the silence that dominated the void. Even though there was no more body to call her own, she thought she heard the crashing of waves.

~~~

“I AM ME!”

The familiar shout surfaced the former puppet from her peaceful slumber, causing the spirit that was still oddly Xion to take notice of the new entity that had started to work its way into the white space. A flash of gold caused her to feel a sense of longing. When the blur finally cleared a small shape of a boy came into view. His anguish started to taint the edges with shades of grey, with every part of his emotions starting to bleed color into what was once a nearly pure oasis.

Without even realizing it, Xion desperately threw her hand out to try and calm the boy from his sorrow. Though in her mind she had finally gotten a hand back, it passed harmlessly through the kid who had a more physical presence in this land. He grabbed his hair and started mumbling, the echo of his words leaving nothing private.

“Why couldn’t it have been me? Is this it? Is this all I have left? Axel…”

The name stirred something to burn inside her core. Nothing could have stopped her from to try to hug the boy again. No matter how hard she tried and how much she tried to speak, nothing reached him. With a small sigh, the nameless boy got up from where he was kneeling and clenched his fists.

“I’m going to fight. I need to know if this really is the end for me and the beginning for him.”

With a flurry of movement, the blond boy took his stand and brought a shining light into his hand. Throwing a movement across the sky he brought out the dead of night. That darkness cloaked his hometown clothes in a shadowy robe that felt familiar and right to Xion.

As he leaped into the depths of this world unknown she had an idea of the boy’s name, “ROXAS! WAIT…” but it was too late. He vanished into the mysterious space while her voice carried unheard throughout the prison she had started to call home.

~~~

After the boy… Roxas… had left, the world felt emptier than ever. She had given up imagining a physical existence for herself and stayed content as a piece of darkness. The world of grey that Roxas had left behind became her comfort and new space to pass the time. Sometimes those shades would radiate pain and sorrow, but she took everything it had to give so emotions would be part of her being once more.

After an unknown amount of time, Roxas finally came back, but he looked like someone who had finally found peace. His dark robes were gone and the pain that used to almost make up his entire existence last time he had arrived seem dull and less present. He sat down in the grey corner and looked up into the void as his physical being started to disappear.

“Heh…” he sighed as he noticed himself falling apart. “I wonder what it’s going to be like being a part of his heart again. Even though I’m fine with this, I somehow feel… sad…”

That feeling identified as sad shook her to the core. Though she knew nothing about him except his name she… it… wanted to bring some happiness back into the boy’s eyes at least once. H-The Darkness circled around before nestling close to his face and letting a piece of warmth it had saved since coming to this place and passed to the sad person. His smile was faint, but it was worth it in the end.

His disappearance should have stirred something more inside the core of its being, but Darkness had no emotion if it's own, so it must have been something the boy had left behind.

~~~

“In Sora’s Heart is a Home”

The whisper was something The Darkness hadn’t heard in a while. Voices were a rare occurrence that pierced into the white void. Something harsh and hot shot through space and caused the world to reopen. A bizarre situation happened where colors and shapes started to flood the former void. The grey sections that had always persisted melted into tones of reds and oranges before deserving away into yellow sands.

Before The Darkness could try and retreat, it saw something that didn’t look like it belonged. Laying in the specks of orange it somehow new was sand, visible but also unmoving, was the form of the boy it had seen a long time ago. As it got closer though, it noticed that it was not the same one it had met. This boy laying in the sand was barely conscious. His hair was a lighter blonde that stood out against the golden grains, with his skin being pale like it had never seen the light of day.

He didn’t turn towards The Darkness, but as if understanding something was in his location he spoke in a tired whisper. “… who’s there?”

The Darkness flickered, unsure of what to do, but in response to the mysterious voice, it moved until it was in sight. His face was expressionless, the slightest hint of blue coming from his barely revealed eyes as it looked in the direction of the new occupant.

“…oh. Hi there. What’s your name?”

The Darkness had no name, or it did, or it didn’t. Confusion afflicted it at every turn. Noticing its struggle, the boy tried to calm it down with soothing words.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to… hmm… do anything you don’t want. My name is Ventus.”

Ventus. A new name for The Darkness to keep to itself. It had a name once. It wanted to respond back and introduce, make a brand new frie-

…noise, the light burned bright, the darkness consumed and…

…she was becoming someone she didn’t want to be, she wanted a ho….

…pe for the future, for her and Roxas and Axel to be together foreve…

…re, bare and broken and lost to the darkness swelling up, it was up to Roxas to end her li…

…fe and sound, safe and loved even if she was gone he would go on with no memory…

The pain of these memories threw her to the ground, gasping as if hit by a truck. Not even the trials of fighting against a close friend winded her as much. She blinked, then realized she wasn’t darkness anymore. Sand between her ghostly fingers parted slightly. Her breath slowly moved the strands of her dark hair.

She looked up at the boy who was silent regarding her new look with confusion. Grasping her chest, she stood and calmed her breathing to answer someone for the first time since she had departed from the world, even as it cracked slightly from disuse.

“Hello Ventus, It’s… haaah… nice to meet you. My name was, is, … is Xion.”

~~~~

Being a present entity was tough. Sometimes Xion felt like she would slip back into the darkness and become one once again. Ventus kept her from slipping away. Even though he sometimes nodded off back to sleep and left her alone, she never felt like he had abandoned her.

What he had shared about his life was odd and sad. His brother in arms lost to Darkness and unsure of his survival. His sister in arms attempted to save them both but is unsure of her fate. Nothing to do but to wait and hope that the boy they both resided in could save the worlds once more. What fragmented parts Xion remembered came at the oddest times. She was patient in waiting for them to return, and Ventus was never bored when she remembered even the most trivial things.

“…and Axel dropped his ice cream from the tower once, Roxas and I split ours in half and put it on his stick so he could have a full one again. He wouldn’t take it at first but… hahaha, you should have seen the look on his face! It was… great…”

She started to slow down in her tale and watch the fabricated waves hit the sand that would never erode. Ventus sighed softly and gave an attempt at a chuckle.

“Your friends sound great. I wonder if Terra and Aqua had met them they would have been good friends too.”

She chuckled and grabbed a bit of sand, pouring some of it on his left hand and slowly burying it.

“I think so? Axel is hot-headed but really sweet. Aqua might have fun meeting him. Roxas was… emm…” Xion hesitated, unsure of how to go about talking about the friend that resembled this tired boy the most.

“It’s fine. I don’t mind that he looks like me. He sounds really cool the way you described him the first time. Nothing like me.”

“Well, okay. Roxas would probably get along the most with Terra. He was stubborn but had a good heart. We always wanted to look out for each other and any friend he would make would be lucky to have someone as strong-willed. Even in my darkest times, Roxas was a friend… to the very end.”

An uncomfortable silence loomed overhead. Memories of her finale never sat well. Her emotions grew cold and her form started to flicker once more. Before the feeling could grow more extreme, Ventus gave a rare nod of his head.

“Ahh, that does sound like an amazing friend. I want to meet him too and introduce him to Terra. When we get everyone together we can go get ice cream and see the real ocean.”

Xion gave her own small smile and kept moving sand over Ventus’ hand as she gazed at the horizon. “This one isn’t so bad, but I agree. We should do it someday, the six of us. It’ll be the best vacation ever.”

#Kingdom Hearts #Fanfic #Xion #Ventus #Roxas #Sora's Heart #Internal Conflict

[rezilient-m3]

February 19

Wow, it's been awhile since I've written anything. Tbh, I've been putting it off. So much has happened...

I'll start off with my sister S, the one that had liver failure. She passed on Feb 11. What a week it has been. Before that tho, she came stayed with me. Her and her daughter came to my house, late on the 2nd, and surprised me. I wasn't expecting it, and to be completely honest, I was annoyed. Not at her directly, just at them not preparing me for the chaos and who's gonna sleep where and dealing with an even fuller house lol. (There was me, my 4 kids, nanny neph, sis, niece, her bf and kid.) They all stayed until Thursday. (I won't get into Wed night, when they all went out and left me and my sick sister with her 2 yr old. I wouldn't have minded, but I had work and wouldn't leave that little girl with my sister, cuz my sister was sick and could barely go up and down my stairs.) Anyways, my sister stayed when her daughter and family left. So, that's Tuesday to Friday I had with her. And I barely spent any time with her. I was working, then I'd come home and do the usual (cook, clean, kids), and she was always in bed. Now, looking back, I regret not just laying there with her. I had that chance to just be there and chill. But how was I supposed to know that would have been my last time with her?

Friday, my mum and our older sister, R, show up. I did not know, at the time, that their main reason coming to the city was to spend time with me and my kids. Anyways, they came and took 2 out of 4 kids, to go swimming at the hotel and spend the night. Cool, right? So, I'm sitting here, wondering what my plans should be. Then it hit me, I should go home to visit my dad, since he's practically home alone. It was already 430, and it's a 4 and a half hr drive, but I still decided to go. I had to ask my sister R if it was alright that I leave her with the 2 kids she had and asked my twin brother to come house sit. Then, it was set. I didn't end up leaving until 6 ish. Anyways, point being, my sister S was going to stay here with our brother, but decided, last minute, that she'd just go home for the weekend and come back with us on Sunday.

We drove, and she's talking, but I can barely hear her. But stuff about her accident. Blaming the ppl that were involved. I always wanted to tell her she shouldn't carry that shit in her heart. It was nobody's fault that she drank that day, nobody's fault they got kicked out of that party at the cabins, nobody's fault they rolled that day, and nobody's fault that she took Tylenol since to help with the pain she had afterwards. (Well, I can see how she could blame some things on some ppl, but realistically, she drank to be in that accident and she took those pills to accelerate her inevitable liver problems). But I couldn't tell her these things to sound like I don't care, or to further make her feel worse than she already did. Idk. I stayed quiet. About an hour away from home, we stopped in a town to pick up drinks and whatever. She was texting her friend and decided to stay with her. I didn't question anything, cause the drive alone seemed unbearable to her. She was nauseous and in pain. So, I took her there and that would be the last I got to hug her and tell her I loved her. I left.

Fast forward to Sunday, I didn't think anything of her not coming, I figured if she wanted to come, she would have called to make sure I picked her up. Plus, she probably wasn't feeling her best. All I texted when I passed that town was, "I love you". She wrote back, a few hours later, "I love you too my bean". And that was it.

Monday morning I had a missed call and voicemail from the friend I left her with, and a few msges from our sister R telling me S was in the hospital again. I didn't check the voicemail. All I thought was, "good, she can try get better again." And went to work. Later on my break, I got updates from R saying it wasn't good. They were allowing her and our mum to visit, but nobody else because of covid. Understandable. I still didn't think anything of it. But, I kept getting updates from R, of how worse she was getting. She said the Dr's were consulting with the hospital in the bigger city to see if there was anything they could do for her, or if she should stay there to be closer to family... They kept her. Plus, Monday night would be the last time she had a conversation with our sister. She'd now be on morphine to make her comfortable, which didn't help her be aware of anything. Now, it's Wednesday morning. I'm at work, on my first break I get all these msges saying she got even more worse and they were going to start allowing family come see her 2 at a time. This is when I knew it was really bad. I cried a bit in my car, msging Alex about how my sister might be dying and I didn't know what to do. I actually thought I'd finish the rest of the day and call in for the last 2 days. But, when I went in class and tried telling my teacher what was up, and her hitting me with that sympathetic "omg, are you okayyyy?" look, with the rubbing my arm thing, I teared up and shook my head no. She told me it was okay with her if I left. But I also had to go talk to the principal about it too. I cried in his office as well. But they were very understanding and gracious. Blessed for that.

Alex decided to leave work. I had a sitter to stay with kids, since they still had school. But he said he'd come anyways. I told him not to worry, but how could he not, right? I was glad he did, in the end, cuz he was what I needed later. So, I left, without getting to see him, cuz I was going the 3 hrs to get to the hospital, and he was coming the 7 hours home.

Anyways, I get there. All our family were taking turns going in to her room to see her. She wasn't awake. It was weird cuz her eyes would open, and be looking, but it was like she wasn't seeing. If that makes sense. That night me and my sister R spent the night with her. When we walked in, she was very agitated and restless. She was crying, hurting, and obviously very uncomfortable. She wanted to sit up, lay down, and scratching everywhere. It was very hard to watch. It scared me. Once the morphine kicked in, I seen her body just relax. The, sitting there talking about her, and her life, what we thought, we both said it would be better if she just let go. She was suffering and we just wanted the suffering to end. But it sucked cuz that's our sister. We weren't ready to lose her. But what could you do? She noticed that her breathing was a little raspy and her feet were cold. She said those were tell-tale signs that the end was near. Sad. Next morning, we leave cuz our mum wanted to come in. We went. All the family was back to taking turns visiting. This time it took me longer to get my turn, cuz more people were showing up. We all just stayed in the parking lot all day. I went back in about 230 or 3. She was obviously worse. I was hoping her hand and tearing, saying, "I'm going to miss you. D's gonna miss you." As soon as I said his name, she squeezed my hand and her bottom lip quivered like she wanted to cry. Then I said, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to make you sad. Don't be sad. We'll be okay. Don't be scared. I love you so much." And kissed her. Now, I was in the room with one of her daughters, and I could tell her couldn't really say want she wanted cuz I was there. So, I gave her time alone. Mind you, I was still thinking ill be back later anyways to spend another night with her. That didn't happen tho.

She took her last breath at about 4. I was sitting in the back of my dad's truck. My dad, my twin brother, and my mum were in there. Nobody showed any kind of reaction. I was crying. Frantically typing to my bf. Then, my niece J, opened the door and asked if I was okay. I get out and immediately started hyperventilating. I was crying, ugly crying. In shock. Standing there not knowing what to do, I sat in my vehicle, that was next to my dad's. Still felt weirdly uncomfortable cuz my nany neph was in there not saying anything, too. My best friend, A, came out of nowhere and I broke down again in her arms. I calmed down, and laughed in that moment cuz I seen one of my nieces bf wipe out lol. Good timing. Anyways, my friend said she was going to take her husband home and be right back. I ended up sitting in her truck for the next cpl hrs. I realized way later that I didn't even go hug any of my siblings lol.

We got to see her body one last time before they took her to the funeral home. I was one of the last people to get a turn, and I went in with one of her sons. I thought it was gonna be horrible, and I'd break down over her body. Instead, my dumb ass started laughing. Lol. Her one eye was open and looking right at me, and she looked like she was smiling. I apologized to her son about laughing. And him and I just talked about before, about him as a baby. My sister didn't raise him since, and I was always with her before, so we knew that about each other. Guess that was all we had in common with his mom; my sister.

So, when all was said and done that night, everybody went to the hotel. I just dropped off everyone who was in my suv and said I was going to go home to my dad's. He was the only one who went home that evening, so I knew he was home alone. So, I left. I wanted to be alone, and I wanted to just sleep in his house, where I felt safe. Before getting there tho, I tried so hard to cry. I felt like I wasn't experiencing her death like how I thought I would. Like, yes, I cried, but not like how I thought I would. That bothered me. Still kinda does. I listened to sad music. Got some tears, then thought, I probably looked stupid and just laughed again. Idk what's wrong with me hahaha.

Before getting home, tho, I msged my son and said I was going to stop at his house and hug him. I had to make sure he was okay. My sister was his Godmother, and although they barely had a relationship, I still had to make sure. Plus, it felt nice to just go be with him for a few minutes.

Next day was funeral home. The last drive home, with her down the highway. The wake. I made her a wreath. That was fun. Got crafty at the wake super late that night lol. But the flower shop in that town couldn't make enough, because there's a lot of families within our family and everybody wanted one done. So, I made my own. That was special.

Alex and kids came Saturday morning to be with me at the funeral. (I forgot to mention that this was the sister he was with first before me). Plus, this was also his first funeral experience with how we do funerals. They don't do wakes, or last goodbyes, or church.... The last goodbye I broke. I cried ugly and loud. He cried too. It was a sad day.

I didn't really feel anything afterwards. It still bothered me that it didn't affect t me like how I thought it would. Not until last night. I always loom at my fb memories, and she was all over my old posts, liking them, hearing pictures, commenting. Then it hit me, that she'll never do that again. I cried. Then, I went on her timeline to see what would be the last posts she wrote, or shared. They were from last summer. Mostly, obvious drunk posts, where she would be misspelling and not making much sense. I go to comments and there's me giving her shit. Wow, I thought. But then I remembered always being disappointed and let down. Those times I'd get upset was because she'd promise me to be sober, to visit, but turn around and drink anyways. That would offend me. Cuz I missed the sober her. I missed just hanging out with her. I hardly got that in our last few years, especially since I had quit drinking. I was sad. The thing that really hit home was seeing a post she shared, "All I need is for one person to not give up on me." Like hf. That hit hard, cuz I immediately felt guilty. Why couldn't I be her person? Why would I just easily give up on her when I knew she'd always choose to drink over me? I resented her. I was mad at her for it. So, I wouldn't try. That sucks.

But that is my next thing. I know I can't hold onto negative feelings like that. I can't regret anything. Anything and everything that happened, happened already, and for whatever reasons. She's gone. But most importantly, she's not suffering. Maybe witnessing her being in that much pain helped me be more okay with her dying? Cuz I wouldn't want her, or anybody, to go through something like that. It was horrible. I need to work on letting her go, in a way that I'm happy with the memories, and all that crap people say you should be doing lol. Idk. I will. But for now, I'm sad. I will miss her. Especially for the big things in my life. I'm still going to think of her, for the big events I'd know she would have been there for me. Sad. ~Rip S. I love you.❤

Anyways, another big thing happened for me right after the funeral. A happy thing. That is why that day was bitter sweet for me. But I won't get into that rn. I'm tired and it's late. I will be back soon. Plus, court happened today. That's another thing to get into. 😒 Nothing really happened there. But, as always, I will be back.

Until then. ✌

P.s sry if there's any mistakes in any of my posts. Not going to go over and read everything. This was a long one too haha.

#hugyourfamtight #sisterlove #ripsis #allofme #mystory #sadpanda

[purplesurveys]

287

What is your favourite dinosaur? I don’t have one. I was never into dinosaurs; although it is pretty fascinating how a huge bunch of kids today know so much about dinosaurs? When did it start happening??? Why??? How??? How can you tell apart a stegosaurus and a tyrannosaurus and a diplodocus and a spinosaurus at just 3 years old??? Would you rather live with wolves or tigers? I don’t know but I have the feeling tigers are less likely to eat humans so I guess them? Correct me if I’m wrong though. Have you ever forgotten what a certain kind of pain felt like? For sure. I’ve only experienced death of a close one once. I don’t know if I want to go through that again. It was a different kind of pain and it didn’t tighten my chest or anything; it was just numbness, persistent denial, and the hard acceptance that I’m simply to move on and all the dead get left behind. The world won’t stop for my passed grandfather. That was the hardest pill to swallow and only after accepting that did the pain come. It was bad and I barely remember anything from those 2-3 weeks. Do you prefer water from the tap or bottled water? Bottled. You can’t actually drink tap water here. That concept would be so foreign if ever brought up. Do you actually use any of the shampoo hotels provide? Yes. My family goes to a lot so it’s nice to experiment and have variety hahaha.

What do you remember the most about your childhood? The trauma. Do you feel as if someone has robbed something from you? Yeah, my wallet from high school that should have stayed on the seat where I last left it .It wasn’t in the lost-and-found bins, not with the janitors, not with my teachers, not in the admin’s office where some of the lost stuff go. My only hunch left was that someone stole it and I will never understand why someone saw it fit to steal a wallet with just an Instax photo of me and Gab, and my fucking retainers. Have you ever stared at the sky and wondered if it was all worth it? Yup. On one of my worse days several months ago I literally took a photo of the sky and posted it on Twitter and my caption was along the lines of is this even worth it. Kinda dramatic but I was in such a bad place and was just asking the skies to take me. Would you rather have a pet dinosaur or have mythical creatures be real? I guess have the dinosaur, if it were (not forcibly) tame. What age did you get your first hair cut? I’m guessing I was 3, because I have photos when I was 2 and had a ponytail and suddenly my hair is up to my ears at 3. Do you have a favourite toy from childhood still? No, I think my mom threw all of mine out when we moved. The only toys in this house now are Joaquin’s, since he was still a toddler when we moved here and so all his toys (and the newer ones) came along. What are your thoughts on the end of the world? The pessimist, suicidal me wants it to happen. Otherwise not so concerned as it won’t happen for another several billion years. Which sports do you enjoy watching? Pro wrestling, even though it’s half-theater. Tennis is also fun to watch. I play table tennis but don’t really watch it as a sport. Would you ever have a breed of dog that is considered aggressive? Absolutely. Break the stereotypes, people. Have you ever made bread? I don’t think so. Maybe in one of our home economics sessions in grade school since I remember using yeast, but my memory for that period is very fuzzy. Would your childhood self be disappointed? No, actually they’d be quite surprised I’m still sticking around. 12 year old me thought I would be gone in five years. Do you think in the future you'll have done yourself proud? If I just make it to the future I think that’s enough to make younger me proud. Did you read The Great Gatsby before seeing the movie? I haven’t even done either. What do you feel about movies made from books? Not the right person to ask as I'm generally not a fan of book-to-movie adaptations. I think the only exception is if they’re old hahaha e.g. A Clockwork Orange, Carrie, Misery, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, etc. I would include The Shining here but I know Stephen King was dismayed at how Kubrick portrayed his book. Has anything ever fallen asleep on you? Dogs. Do you have to use the bathroom? I did right before this survey. Is the above question too invasive? No, surveys have asked more intrusive ones. What do you feel about surgeries? Do they worry you? I hate them. They worry me, they scare me, I hate needles, I hate the possibility of waking up in the middle of surgery. Do you have a tumblr? You tell me, Sherlock. Would you rather have an open book shelf or one with doors? One with doors so like a library? Hahahahaha no, I’d rather show off the books. Although in this case it would be Gabie’s books, since she has way more books than I do.   Do you need a large or small place to live comfortably? Large. I love a minimalistic home. Would you ever consider moving to another country? Absolutely. My lifestyle and who I am is everything frowned upon by Catholics in the Philippines. As a person in a same-sex relationship (who wants to get married and have a family) and atheist in a predominantly Catholic country, all I’m asking is ostracism for life and they are more than ready to give that to me. Have you ever dropped everything and reevaluated? Sure. Do you play Minecraft? if so, feelings about servers? No. I have no clue what you’re talking about. Do you long for easier times? Don’t we all? Do you believe that life gets easier or we just get stronger? Stronger, more like more numb. Does it weird you out to think that humans are just more advanced animals? Not really. Do you ever wonder why religion came about? Lmao yes all the goddamn time, although I am talking as someone who was treated badly by their birth religion and thus is questioning it for life. I would never question or invalidate anyone and their religion. Would you ever consider shaving your head? I’ve thought about it, but I don’t think I would ever seriously consider it. Would you rather belong to a cult or a religion you feel is wrong? Uh. Freedom? Have you ever considered murder? Just for our current president sometimes but idk. Kill a man or a woman? Can I live worry-free instead? Would you like to live in a realm where the zombie apocalypse is possible? I mean, sounds cool but preferably nah? I’m okay with our zombie-less reality. Are you afraid of any animals? Reason? Yup, cockroaches are fucking ugly. Our old house had flying cockroaches all throughout my childhood which is why I hate them to no end now. Someone knocks on your door three times right now, do you answer? Yeah, it’s probably my dad. Do you read creepypastas? No, they aren’t intriguing to me. Can you sleep afterwards? I just woke up, so no I can’t do that.

#survey #surveys

[themyskira]

THAT Wonder Woman script, part 2 of oh shit it got worse

Previously on Wonder Woman, we met our hero -- brave, selfless, moral, willing to go to bat for perfect strangers without a thought for personal safety, but uneasy with emotional vulnerability, preferring to rebuff intimacy with snark and condescension.

I’m talking, of course, about Steve Trevor. Wait, who did you think the hero of this movie was?

Anyway, Steve crashed in plane on an island of Nasty Women, proved his moral superiority and won a convert in the form of a luminous-elemental-natural-curvaceous-waterfall-girl, who beat up her mother to save his life, then decided to follow him home. Just because.

Now Steve and The Girl are flying into a war zone, where Steve is overdue to deliver much-needed supplies to sick, starving refugees.

Alright, so they reach their destination, and there’s trouble on the ground. The runway is crawling with soldiers, and Steve’s crew — Ben Mzamane, Dr Moira “Sully” Sullivan and Griffin Thiele — are looking distinctly worried.

Steve admonishes Diana to keep herself hidden and not cause any trouble, before exiting the plane to greet the soldiers’ leader, a “petty warlord” called Goshnak. He’s the one they had to bribe to get supplies in for the refugees, and he’s demanding extra compensation on account of Steve’s delayed arrival.

BEN We are grateful for everything you have done—

GOSHNAK And what is your gratitude? A few paltry bribes!?

STEVE They’re not paltry. These are quality bribes—

Things are getting dire. They’re surrounded by men with guns and Goshnak is threatening to take the whole damn plane. Then Diana emerges from the plane and suddenly everyone is staring.

SULLY My god. That is a quality bribe.

Hahaha!! What hilarity! I don’t know why more writers don’t exploit the rich comedic vein that is human sex trafficking!!

There’s some mystical nonsense where the camera closes tight on Diana’s foot as it touches the ground and sends a wind whistling through the trees, across the mountains, over the sea and into a darkened room where an ominous figure raises its head.  Nobody on the airstrip notices, mostly because Goshnak is still threatening to shoot everybody and Diana is Not Helping.

GOSHNAK All the goods on that plane are mine.

DIANA No they’re not.

GOSHNAK Do you dare to question my authority?

DIANA Authority that cannot be questioned should look for a different name.

wow great very helpful Diana, lecturing the man with the gun on semantics.

GOSHNAK You bring this whore to insult me?

DIANA What did you say?

STEVE Diana, shut up.

Okay, on the one hand, in the context of this scene Diana is making a bad situation worse and, as she’s being written, this character kind of needs to be told to shut up. On the other hand, I don’t need to see Steve Trevor telling Wonder Woman to shut up, especially right after another man has called her a whore.

And speaking of stupid out-of-character behaviour—

DIANA (moving toward Goshnak) If you want to challenge me, then be man enough to—

I cannot think of a character less likely to use the expression “man enough” than fucking Wonder Woman.

Anyway, that’s the point where Goshnak shoots her in the chest.

She puts a hand to her chest, confused. Blood runs over her hand. […] Diana is on her hands and knees, an unlovely gurgle in her breath. She pushes hard on the (unseen) wound. A few moments, and she wrenches her hand from her chest, rearing back onto her knees.

In her bloody hand, she holds a bullet.

She stares at it, standing shakily up. Goshnak backs off a step, freaked. She holds the bullet up to him, furious confusion in her eyes. She looks at Steve…

DIANA Are you people insane?

And then she faints.

Such heroics.

We cut to Gateway City, where the Spearhead Technologies building dominates the skyline, resembling the head of a spear. Track down through the more run-down neighbourhoods, down into an empty subway station and deep into the old sewerage tunnels beneath the city.

An older homeless man leads a younger female reporter through the tunnels. Their destination:

…a half graffiti/half American-primitive MURAL, depicting a figure in armour on a horse stabbing a giant dragon. Behind them, towers crumble and burn. It’s eerie and awkward, and very beautiful.

It also apparently means something to reporter-lady, but we don’t get to find out what, because that’s when Strife appears.

GINNY (continuing) My God…

The white, deformed face with the bright red teeth and the carved metal skull-cap appears right next to hers, grinning horrifically.

STRIFE No. Not yours.

And then he kills them both. Yes, “he”. For some reason Whedon has decided to make Eris/Strife — a goddess in Greek mythology — into a dude.

Back Our Hero, waiting outside a tent at base camp. Sully is inside tending to Diana. His mate Griffin is particularly concerned for Diana.

GRIFFIN […] I can’t believe Goshnak. Who the hell shoots an unarmed, tasty looking girl?

Okay, so really he’s more concerned for Diana’s rack.

Sully steps out, clearly unhappy, and announces there’s nothing more she can do. This sounds ominous until Diana strides out afterwards, completely healed; turns out Sully didn’t need to do anything.

Diana heads urgently for the plane and Steve hurries after her. He’s stunned that she’s up and about with barely a scar after only six hours; Diana is aghast that it took so long.

STEVE […] You’re healed.

DIANA Yes, after hours. It’s degrading… to be felled by a tiny piece of metal. (quietly) I didn’t know something could hurt that much.

STEVE (not unkindly) Welcome to the world.

THIS WORLD IS SO FUCKED, MAN, I HAD TO WAIT SIX WHOLE HOURS FOR MY NEAR-FATAL GUNSHOT WOUND TO BE MIRACULOUSLY HEALED. SO DEGRADING, I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO OFFENDED IN MY LIFE.

Diana picks up the pace. Goshnak’s men took the supplies to their camp in the hills, and she intends to get them back. There’s a guard at the plane; she knocks him flat without breaking a sweat. As she changes into her armour, Steve lectures her again. He’s a dick about it, but he does have a point: none of Diana’s behaviour has been helpful so far, and now she’s planning on walking into a warlord’s camp and starting a firefight.

Not killing, though. She is prepared to kill a warrior on a battlefield, she says, but nobody who “hides behind” a gun can be called a warrior. Which— look, I’m as pro-gun-control as they come, but that is a bizarrely political statement to put in the mouth of a character who barely even understands what firearms are, let alone the currents of debate going on in America and around the world. Sure, she’s just experienced being shot, and the intense pain of it shocked her, but I’m pretty sure getting disembowelled with a sword is super painful as well.

Basically, Diana’s deep and immediate disgust at guns specifically reads like Whedon trying to shoehorn his own politics into the script, and it does not work.

To Diana’s credit, she proves slightly more competent at dealing with Goshnak’s men. She picks off the sentries in the dark, takes the sleeping soldiers by surprise, and this time when Goshnak shoots, she’s ready to deflect the bullets with her bracelets.

She could use some work on her patter, though.

…she grabs his throat.

DIANA Stop. Shooting. Me.

The gun hits the ground and Diana brings her heel down on it with enough force to break it.

DIANA (continuing) This land is not safe for you. The people here are under my protection and if you even approach them, your death will be appalling. Remember that, when you awake.

She headbutts him, her tiara ringing off his forehead like a blunted bell.

“your death will be appalling”? really?

She changed her mind quick on the whole non-killing thing.

Later, in the refugee camp, the food has been distributed and the doc is tending to the sick. Diana watches as a young boy eats hungrily from a can, only for a man — maybe his father — see him and snatched the food for himself.

STEVE (appearing) Yeah, starvation doesn’t seem to make people nicer. It’s weird.

URGH GO AWAY STEVEN YOU ABSOLUTE TOSSER.

DIANA How could the gods allow this?

STEVE Your gods are dead, Diana. World hasn’t been theirs for a long while.

HAHA, BOOM! Take that, Diana! Shame on you for trying to come to grips with a world you’ve known for all of twelve hours!

Steve walks off, and Ben approaches to reassure Diana that Our Hero is just super prickly because of his Tragic Backstory. See, he used to be in the Air Force, flying combat missions, and once got downed behind enemy lines. He left the military with “a health distrust of anyone with too much power” and “[d]ecided to drop something more productive than bombs” — that’s why he set up this operation with Sully.

Diana asks whether Steve and Sully are “mates” because let us remember that the Amazons are a DEEPLY AND EXCLUSIVELY HETEROSEXUAL CULTURE and naturally it would never enter her mind that Steve might be in a relationship with Ben or Griffin, or for that matter more than one person. Anyway. AWKWARDNESS ENSUES.

BEN Mates?

DIANA Do they… mate? Or…

BEN (smiles) Sully would never put up with him. I don’t believe Steve’s seeing anyone right now.

DIANA (awkward) Oh. That’s of no import. To me. I don’t care about that.

URGH STOP.

Ben asks Diana what she intends to do next, and she says “to help”. Because as we’ve seen she has zero plans outside of taking a gap year in Man’s World so she can ‘find herself’. “I need to know more,” she elaborates unhelpfully. “I need to see… everything.” Apparently unfazed, Ben invites her to “stick with us”. Next stop, Gateway City.

What is Gateway, Diana asks?

We’re answered by a voiceover as we cut back to the Spearhead building.

CALLAS (V.O.) The greatest city in the world. The symbol of American ingenuity, prosperity, and cultural diversity. […] Literally, our gateway to the world.

The speaker is Spearhead’s CEO, Arabella Callas, who appears to be a low-budget Veronica Cale. She is, Joss tells us, “[v]ery blonde, very patrician, unflappable and icy smooth. As lovely as she is untouchable.”

She’s talking to a seemingly mundane meeting of executives and city councilmen, about zoning issues. We learn that Spearhead deals in military technology and is one of the city’s biggest investors. The councillors are keen to accommodate them.

Of course, the moment everyone leaves, Callas flips from zero to cartoon fucking villain. She touches a painting behind her desk, which glows briefly. A tapestry lifts to reveal a giant steel door, which slides open. And with that, Callas strolls on into her evil lair.

INT. SPEARHEAD WAR ROOM - CONTINUING

A cross between a Wall Street trading bullpen and Houston Ground Control, this is where Spearhead monitors the world. There are screens with maps and satellite feeds, dozens of employees with headsets tracking troop movements, high-level government communications, even weather patterns. These employees don’t wear suits. They wear black.

From Callas’ interactions with the operatives, we basically learn that Spearhead are secretly puppetmasters of chaos; no exaggeration. Talks between two warring nations have broken down thanks to an interpreter on Spearhead’s payroll; Callas instructs an employee to “keep our reps on point; I don’t want a bullet fired that wasn’t bought from us”. There’s a hurricane off the Carolina coast, and Spearhead is preparing to seed mass panic in the media. Some dictator wants to get his hands on Spearhead’s new bombers before the Pentagon — Callas is willing to deal for “12 per cent”. A 12 per cent mark-up, the employee asks? No, says Callas: 12 per cent of his county.

Basically, Callas and Spearhead are a caricature of corporate villainy and Joss could not be less subtle if he tried. But wait! There’s more!

Callas announces that she’s going to pray and exits into a dark room lit by torches and dominated by a statue of Ares.

I know, guys. I’m shocked, too. Who would’ve ever thought that Spearhead Enterprises, a weapons manufacturing company that secretly stokes war from inside a building shaped like a spear, would actually be a front for a cult of the god of war?! This is entirely unexpected. I mean, gosh, next you’ll be telling me that Gateway City is sitting on top of a gateway to something ominous and supernatural! Crazy stuff!!

As Callas prays, Strife materialises and tells her he’s gotten rid of the reporter. Callas presses; was he discreet about it?

CALLAS […] The eyes of the world cannot be on Gateway. Not right now. The world is won—

STRIFE (along with her) —won in silence. I know. There was a time when the God of War made war.

CALLAS You want war, you need armies. You need an acceptable level of poverty and ignorance. (looking up at the statue) Despair, rage, religious fervour and above all fear.

Honestly, Marston wrote villains that were more nuanced than this. Whedon literally named her Callous, ffs.

They talk about some reports of a woman taking out a rebel brigade in Africa singlehandedly, then they discuss a planned test of “the Khimaera” as they step into a large silo. The technology inside has a distinctly magical edge. What’s the Khimaera, you ask?

CALLAS The Age of Monsters is over.

STRIFE Is it. Is it really.

As he says it the camera pulls back to reveal the head of the Khimaera — we see little more than a metal shape, the top of which resembles a cross between a lion’s head and a massive rock-drill. Clearly filling the entire silo, the thing writhes and spews fire. Maintenance machines arm out from the wall or crawl over it, insectlike.

groan.

Back to Our Hero and The Girl, who have arrived in the city. Diana is eager to see everything at once; Steve isn’t so sure it’s a good idea to let her go wandering on her own. “I’ll be fine,” she says. “No, I’m kind of afraid for the city,” he deadpans.

Diana enters the throng of the city — “looking at everything and everyone intently, more sociologist than sightseer”. We pan through various sights — extreme wealth and extreme poverty, toy stores and strip clubs. Someone shoves a “LIVE NUDE GIRLS” flyer into her hands; appalled, she looks around to give it back. Which makes sense, because obviously living all her life on an island of Extremely Heterosexual Women, Diana is going to be extremely prudish about the female body.

Then,

—a hooker in an outfit skimpier than Diana’s who stares at Diana, asking:

HOOKER Who are you supposed to be?

Hahaha!! It’s funny because the sex worker thought Diana, also, was a sex worker, which as we all know is a Gross and Shameful thing to be! Oh, the comedy!

Diana steps into the street, forcing a guy in a convertible to swerve around her. He calls her a bitch, she stops the car dead with her bare hands and asks him to repeat that, but then the confrontation is cut short by a cry from across the street. A fourteen-year-old boy is being shaken down by a drug dealer.

Diana whips the dealer with her lasso; he pulls out his gun and starts firing. She deflects the bullets easily, knocks away the gun and lectures him about how she doesn’t like firearms. Then she whips the lasso around his neck and demands to know what he’s doing.

THE DEALER I’m just standing here minding my own crack dealing! (he stops, shaken) No, no, I sell crack! And guns. I also run whores sometimes— or, no! I mean… (deflated) That’s what I mean.

Diana ascertains that the major drug kingpin in the city is a dude called Kleen. We will be spending a stupid amount of time following up on him later, despite his having no relevance to the broader plot.

However, as they speak, Diana realises that dozens of rats are scurrying up from the basement grating of the old building behind them. They’re afraid of something.

Cut to the Spearhead war room, where the Khimaera test — whatever that is — is underway. An employee tells Callas that they have structural engineers ready to feed the media some story about a seismic tremor and a building not built to code. But there’s a problem — the cameras are showing somebody unexpected on the test site.

Because gosh darn it, wouldn’t you just know, first day in the city and Wonder Woman has managed to blunder onto the very site on which Evil Incorporated is testing their doomsday device!

Back to Diana, who’s now urgently shoving people out of the building, racing up the stairs to usher people out of the upper floors as the walls begin to lurch and buckle. She’s barely managed to get everyone out when Strife jumps her. They fight, Diana just holding her own, and Strife warns her to stay out of the city as he teleports away, leaving the building to collapse on her.

Later, in Steve’s bedroom, Diana lies face-down and topless on the bed as Steve cleans her wounds. She explains that Strife the the cruellest god and the servant of his uncle, Ares, because Joss isn’t even trying. FYI, Eris — the Greek personification of strife — is Ares’ brother (and/or first-cousin-twice-removed, Greek divine family trees are complicated) and she works for her own dang self.

Steve immediately leaps to the conclusion that Strife’s appearance is Diana’s fault, because Steve is a dick.

DIANA Do you think it’s all coincidence? Truly? The signs are all around us. You don’t think I’m here for a reason?

STEVE I think you’re dangerous. I think you mean well but you’re looking for trouble and you’re wildly adept at finding it. I think you’ve got delusions of grandeur and some actual grandeur, which is confusing. I don’t like confusing. I hate the fact that I’m so attracted to you, just touching you is overwhelming and I keep hoping you’ll turn around so I can see more of you naked.

He stops, even more confused than she is. His jaw sets and he reaches down, pulls the lasso out from under his butt. She tries not to show her smile.

you are the worst joss.

Diana talks a bit about how despite the violence and inequality and selfishness she’s seen, she believes the people of this world have the capacity for good — they just need to be reminded to look up. Steve makes a guess — that’s her mission, right? Diana corrects him: “Our mission.” This… is actually sounding almost like Diana for once. She doesn’t just want to beat the big bads, she wants to inspire, empower and work together with those around her to build a better world.

Naturally, Steve has to spoil it by being a wanker again.

STEVE […] What if you lose?

DIANA As long as there’s life in me, I don’t quit.

STEVE Nyeah, but I didn’t say ‘quit’. I said ‘lose’. Any idiot can win. Doesn’t mean jack till you’ve done the other thing.

Aaaaaand we’re back to the old “you can’t be a hero because you haven’t suffered enough”.

A series of short scenes follows; Diana interrupting drug shipments, taking down thugs, rescuing women from human traffickers, saving people from collapsing buildings and so on. We see that Steve and his people are working with her to give medical treatment to victims and map out Kleen’s criminal empire.

Joss still has time for some casual dickishness, though.

GIRL Lady? (points up) My cat is stuck in that tree.

Diana looks up, sees the cat on a branch, looks back at the girl with dismissive incomprehension.

DIANA Climb it.

but waitwaitwait. You know what we haven’t had in a good couple of scenes? Some good ol’-fashioned slut-shaming!

NEWSCASTER [female] Reports have come in from all over the city. Descriptions vary, but all describe her as female, impossibly strong and scantily clad. […]

NEWSCASTER #2 [male] So, what do you think? Publicity stunt?

NEWSCASTER (sourly) Probably. The last time I checked, heroes didn’t run around in bustiers.

Strife and Callas complain about how the meddling kids are spoiling their evil plans. Callas has a solution in mind, though — the one thing that “for an Amazon, is worse than death”.

OH GOOD WE’RE ALMOST AT THE DEPOWERING, DEGRADATION AND LIVE BURIAL PART OF THE SCRIPT THIS CAN’T POSSIBLY GO POORLY

#wonder woman #whedon does wondy

[b00bstone]

All the even numbers!

thats a lot. and 72 was repeated twice but i had to renumber them since i copied and pasted adn forgot it was repeated. but anyway. 

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

mostly shy i think but i can be outgoing if im comfortable. 

4 Are you easy to get along with?

not really. i can be quite moody. and i unfortunately have a short temper (which im trying to work on) and im depressed adn suicidal so i think the answer is no. 

6 What kind of people are you attracted to?

smart funny ones. 

8Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

my friend the nerd because i was talking to them and my friend rabbit earlier. 

10Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

probs my therapist since we talked just earlier today.

12What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

1.awkward by hailey knox

2 beautiful girl by sara barielles 

3. plot twist by sigrid

4 waving through a window from dear evan hansen 

and 5. dissapear also from dear evan hansen.

14Do you believe in luck and miracles?

yeah but my luck is shitty and miracles happen to other people. so basically yes but not for me lmao

16Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

yeah. if she were down. but like shes really straight. so i doubt she would be.

18Do you still talk to your first crush?

occasionally. hes a dick now tho. fraternity guy. and voted for trump.

20Do you like your neighbors?

well the ones i know are pretty cool. 

22Where would you like to travel?

narnia. one of those planets they discovered that are super far away but similar to earth. but like on this planet? probs travel around europe. 

24Favorite part of your daily routine?

going to bed. 

26What do you do when you wake up?

lie there and try to go back to sleep. 

28Who are you most comfortable around?

probs my friend rabbit.

30Do you ever want to get married?

one day yeah. but only if i find the right person u know. 

32Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

oohhhh ummm hmmm. chris pratt. aubrey plaza and john boyega. i feel like aubrey would bring a sarcastic element which would help with the pressure and nervousness and john and chris. well u can just see in their eyes that theyre really gentle people that will treat u right. 

34do you play sports? What sports?

hahaha no. ive always wanted to dance and/or be on a swimteam. but my lungs hate me

36Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

i think ive only told like 1 or 2 people that ive liked that i liked them. and ive liked a lot of people so yes. i have hidden that i liked someone before. many many times.

38Describe your dream girl/guy?

theyre taller than me. i dunno why but ive always liked wavy/curly hair. not blonde. or brunette. so that leaves unnatural hair color or black or red. good bone structure. theyre really smart. like they know lots of stuff academically but theyre also just generally smart u know. and they know lots of lil random facts about random things. really nice. but not in like a sugar nice way but more like sun beams when it feels like theyre warming u from the inside kinda nice. kind eyes. color doesnt really matter since i keep changing my mind. strong. but not necessarily muscular. i want them to be able to pick me up and twirl me around but not like theyve got a sixpack or anything. sixpacks are kinda weird looking tbh. wed have to have most of the same values. not too talkative but not like ALWAYS quiet. theyd prefer staying in most weekend and watchng shows but dont mind the occassional night out. theyd like the beach. because what kind of crazy person doesnt like the beach (people that dont beach right thats who). theyd also like biking and hiking and swimming. very much an animal person. not lazy. good listener. intuitive. would understand that some days i just cant fucking stand physical touch. and others i crave it in a way ive never craved anything before. and other days its kinda meh whatever. people that take interest in what im interested in because im interested in it. and whose interests are cool. because i love to take interest in things my friends are interested in but sometimes its so boring. nothing particular comes to mind. but im sure its happened. someone who doesnt check up on me when im crying. because tbh i hate it when people do that. unless its through texting or a phone call. but like people in person asking “are u ok?” while im sobbing my eyes out? fuck no go away. someone who understands that im really fucking bad with words. and sometimes me trying to say something will take a while and it may not make sense. theyd be patient. they wouldnt mock me. or be manipulative. and i think this list is long enough.

40What do you want to do after high school?

travel the world and end up famous, but not like papparazzi following me famous. famous like i appear on snl every once in a while and drop bangers or rad filsm or whatever i do and thats all.  what will i probs end up doing? crying a lot and going to community college. and applying to as many colleges as i have the energy to. 

42If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

it might mean im busy. or just listening. or really pissed off. or upset. or just have nothing to say. 

44Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

space. 

46What are you paranoid about?

everything

48Have you ever been drunk?

not yet. but sometimes i want to be

50What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

blue i think?

52 One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

everything. but like one specific thing? id like to get rid of my depression, fears, and this brain fog that haunts me

.54 Favourite store?

trader joes or target

56Favourite color?

yellow

58 Last thing you ate?

well rn im eating plain potato chips and mayo (please dont judge me. i know its disgusting)

60Ever won a competition? For what?

i used to do mma i won like one or two of those. i also run a riding competition once. 

62Been arrested? For what?

not yet. but im sure one day i will be.

64tell us the story of your first kiss?

we were in her parents bathroom and were 7. thats all i remember. havent kissed anyone since. which isnt for lack of wanting to.

68Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

i dont really have any tumblr friends that arent my real friends yet? so like i cant answer that.

70 Twitter or Tumblr?

well i spend all my time here and not on twitter so lets go with tumblr. altho i do have a twitter im never on

72Names of your best friends?

adi, heather, rabecca, joaquin, celestine. 

74What colour are your towels?

blue, red and white. and theres some hawaiin print ones and a yellow one. 

76How many pillows do you sleep with?

3... 

78How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

like 40? dont judge. i kept asking as a kid and my parents kept giving them to me for christmas and my birthday. they should have stopped. 

80What colour is your underwear?

rn its grey. but its not the only color i have

82Favourite ice cream flavor?

fuck. ummmmm coffee?

84What colour pants?

rn theyre black. but on the front of the thighs they have zebra striping. 

86Favourite movie?

thats not an easy question to answer. im gonna say bringing up baby just because. 

90Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

both? i mean i prefer mean girls a lil more bu 21 jumpstreet isnt bad either

92 Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

dory. we are both scatterbrained. 

94Last person you talked to today?

adi. but like in person? rabbit and the nerd. 

96Name a person you love?

celestine. (not romantically)

98In a fight with someone?

not as far as i know. but i always kinda feel like im in a fight with monkey. 

100How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

like 4? i know i know i dont have very many. 

102Favourite actress?

aubrey plaza. 

104Do you tan a lot?

nope. i try at least once every summer. but my skin either stays as pale as snow or i burn really bad then my skin shift to a slightly more offwhite shade of snow. 

106. How are you feeling?

blergh. potato chips and mayo are really gross. and im tired and sick of people telling me shit. 

108Do you regret anything from your past?

i regret everything ive ever done. 

110Do you miss anyone from your past?

well there is this one guy i used to talk to but i miss the attention and not him so that doesnt count. i kinda miss a friend of mine named shannon from elementary school sunday school

112Ever broken someone’s heart?

i dont think so. 

114What should you be doing?

school. but ive given up on that. so. 

.116 Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

oh yeah. ive liked 2 peoplethat much. altho i barely knew the first person and it was more me projecting my ideals of the prefect person onto them. 

118Who was the last person you cried in front of?

probs my therapist. 

120Have you ever been out of your province/state?

yeah. i was just in virginia last week. i live in california so id say thats definitely out of state. 

122Are you listening to music right now?

nope. 

124Do you like Chinese food?

americanized or traditional? americanized: yessss that shit i shte bomb. traditional? i dont know ive never had it. 

126Are you afraid of the dark?

yes. very. i need a light source or i start to panic. 

.128 Is cheating ever okay?

like on a partner or on a test or something? on a partner? no way. u should never do that. like thatll really fuck them up and make them mistrustful for the rest of their life. on a test? if its necessary sure go for it. i dont care. im not ur teacher. 

130Do you believe in love at first sight?

yeah. but its not something thatll ever happen to me lmao.

132. Are you currently bored?

im always bored. 

134 Would you change your name?

last name? yes 100% absolutely. first name? maybe. 

136Do you like subway?

like the sandwich shop? fuck no! the first time i ate it i threw up. the second time was ok. and thei third time i got serious stomach cramps afterwards. it was these awful sharp shooting pains all through my stomach. 

138Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

probs my therapist. 

140Can you count to one million?

theoretically? yes. but will i? no 

142Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

closed! my closet freaks me out but the office across from my bedroom freaks me out more. and also like i dont want cats walking on my face. or to wake up at 7 am and find that my dog has taken up the very middle of the bed. 

144Curly or Straight hair?

rn? mostly straight. but when it gets longer it kinda curls a  lil. 

146Summer or Winter?

yes. i like both. dont make me choose. 

148 Favourite month?

july. thats when im born so it has to be my fav. 

150Dark, milk or white chocolate?

milk

152Was today a good day?

no. 

154What’s your favourite quote?

in the beginning the universe was created a lot of people regard t as a bad move. and i messed that quote up. but yeah. 

156Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

the terms braided and woven refer to the structure of the elastic. 

[sapphylicious]

Time for the B1A4 con report! First off, let me just say it was TOTALLY WORTH IT, but as soon as @cactuarneedles and I arrived back in KC at midnight we were like, “Let’s never go to California again.” It was that kind of trip.

First off, our connecting flight in Denver was delayed. Not by a lot, but in retrospect that set the tone for the rest of the weekend. We still managed to arrive in SF on Saturday around noon, checked in at the hotel, and then got ramen for lunch in Japantown. It’s been, oh, 11 years since I was last in SF for Hyde’s Faith tour, and wandering around Japantown was a bit nostalgic. I wanted to buy All The Things but couldn’t have fit anything else into my carry-on except a Pusheen shirt I ended up getting just because. Also, makeup remover, since I forgot to bring any and didn’t realize until I was putting on my eyeliner (very, very carefully). The salesperson in Kpop Beauty liked my Big Bang hoodie lol.

We were running out of energy fast since we’d been up since 4am Central, so we went back to the hotel and ordered in for dinner. I slept as I usually do in new places, which is to say, not well, but I managed not to be too tired on Sunday.

As for Sunday. 

Well.

It was raining all morning, and we’d bought umbrellas the day before at CVS, so we were like. The bare minimum of prepared. We also bought some trash bags to sit on. It was in the 50s but felt like it was in the 40s, and there was some wind, so overall it was a cold, wet, miserable experience. I’ve queued in line when it was colder (Akanishi Jin’s Yellow Gold tour in NYC in November was hella cold) but a) I was younger then, and b) I wasn’t being rained on. So Janel and I discovered our Too Old For This Shit threshold. If we hadn’t been close to the front of the line we probably would have said fuck it and stayed in the hotel room all day.

We took a break for lunch at a Vietnamese place where I was able to stop shivering for a while, and stayed there as long as we felt was reasonable. We’re not fans of the “claim a spot in line and then fuck off for the rest of the day until an hour before the doors open” tactic some people (read: assholes) like to use. Getting to be right in front of the stage is privilege you suffer for.

On the way back we decided to stop in a Target to buy some of those mini folding seats to help make the rest of the wait bearable (the trash-bags-on-ground was not working out for us). And this is where the trip really went to shit.

Janel left her purse in the restroom by accident. She realized it the moment we stepped outside and went back to the restroom in three minutes tops, and by then everything inside her purse had been stolen. Cash, cards, ID, keys -- the only thing she still had was her phone since it had been in her pocket (which luckily also had the tickets).

Soooo she pretty much spent the rest of the afternoon making phone calls and filing a police report -- not that the police could actually do anything about it, but it was good to have for getting through airport security for our flight back. So note: you can fly domestically without an ID, but it’s a huge pain for everyone.

At least by then it had basically stopped raining. There was a little bit of a situation when the lines were separated and we had to leave our spot to wait in another line for our VIP wristbands. I asked a girl I recognized being a couple people ahead of us to save our spot (couldn’t find the people who’d been directly in front or behind), but when we eventually got our wristbands I couldn’t find her again, or anyone else who had been near us in the original line. So we kind of just cut in at roughly the same area and miraculously no one gave us shit about it.

Let me just say, out of the several cons I’ve been to, B1A4 fans are the most chill. I remember standing in line for Big Bang and recalling how VIPs used to claim to be the most chill fans and lol nah man just nah. We chatted a little with the people around us, told the "everything got stolen” story a few times -- and also the “we’re from the Midwest” story. YOU PEOPLE IN LA AND SF DON’T KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE LIVING IN THE ENTIRE REST OF THE UNITED STATES. Travel for Kpop is a given. I’ve made weekend trips from the East Coast all the way to the West Coast for Kpop. This is also why we only go to cons for our absolute favorite groups, and will pull out all the stops for them. I figure I’ll only do this for B1A4, Big Bang, Epik High, TVXQ/JYJ, and maaaybe I might do it for VIXX. Maybe.

Getting into the venue wasn’t an issue and we wound up about four people back from the stage. We were hella sore by then, although I think it was worse for Janel since she was running back and forth a lot and under a ton more stress. Luckily the con didn’t start too late, and I forgot how much my feet hurt most of the time (I’m really glad I have a pair of comfortable boots).

So. B1A4 in person.

This is the first concert where I bothered to take pictures and record video, but I don’t know how some fans can dedicate their attention to recording the whole time because I was a flailing mess lol. THEY WERE SO CLOSE. They’re all really attractive in person??? I mean Gongchan is of course a given and he is EVEN MORE HANDSOME THAN ADVERTISED no wonder Sandeul and Jinyoung don’t shut up about how he looks. The suits they wore for most of the show were very nice and ESPECIALLY when they took off the jackets because men in waistcoats are my weakness. Jinyoung rolling up his shirtsleeves jesus christ and he does it all neatly too (whereas Baro’s sleeves kept falling and flopping around lol). Jinyoung is so fucking charming it’s unfair. When the water bottles came out he liked to hold them up and tease the crowd lmao how... typical...

CNU was amazing with the fanservice and the body rolls lol and he has such pretty hair. There was a moment duringggg I think Baby Goodnight when he and Gongchan were really cute together. I was filming Sandeul and had to quickly cut over to them with their arms around each other.

Baro did a lot of talking in English, I was surprised and impressed and I think this con has cemented him as third in my lineup of faves (Sandeul-Jinyoung-Baro-Gongchan-CNU). I feel like he interacted with the crowd best and I saw him paying attention to the balcony people often too, but someone needs to take the word “lit” away from him hahaha.

The venue was small so it was really easy for them to reach every part of the stage, we got to see all of them up close in roughly equal amounts but ngl my memory is like 70% Sandeul because I tracked him all across the stage.

BOY CAN HE SING. Not only does he sound amazing but you can tell just by looking at him how passionate he is, the way he moves and puts more of himself into it than the others do. The only way the con could have been more perfect is if he’d been able to perform a solo. Or just. If he could release a full-length solo album and then go on tour that was be okay too. He teased us by singing 그렇게 있어줘~ and augh so good. SO GOOD. AND SO CUTE. He’s so adorable I can hardly stand it. Near the end he was crouched down in front of us and stuck out his tongue bUT I DIDN’T MANAGE TO RECORD IT. OPPORTUNITY LOST.

I did however record the cheek squishing. It was so classic. Jinyoung goes for the cheeks, Sandeul tries to retaliate but misses, Jinyoung waits for a few seconds and then goes in again to get a good grip and Sandeul looks SO RESIGNED before he jerks his face away. They did this while Baro was talking and he was like “Hey, it’s my turn now!” lol poor Baro.

I also have some pics of CNU lowkey harassing Sandeul and Sandeul giving him this Look afterwards. And Gongchan fussing with Sandeul’s clothes. And Sandeul limp in Baro’s arms. I ship my bias with everyone, can you tell.

They were all so cute though, ugh, I love B1A4. I’m so glad I gave Kpop another chance after I thought the TVXQ breakup was the End Of All Things.

We fought with another girl over one of the towels thrown into the crowd. I only made a claim so it would be 2 vs 1 but we both lost the rock-paper-scissors battle and had to give it up. In retrospect we maybe should have played the “she was robbed today” pity card because you’d think after losing all the contents of your purse you could at least get a towel in compensation. We’re unfortunately not that combative though. At least this time the opponent didn’t cheat and throw down her choice late. Like I said, in terms of the fans B1A4 has much fewer assholes than I’m used to encountering.

I felt like a drowned rat by the end of the show and feared for my eyeliner but luckily it wasn’t running or even smudged (thanks, Stila stay all day waterproof liquid eyeliner). My hair was rather bedraggled though and after the rain and the water bottles it was like, why did I even bother curling it that morning, but what can you do.

I wanted to say something to everyone during the high touch -- I knew it was going to be quick but the staff really hurried everyone through which was annoying, and I had a holyshitholyshitholyshit internal monologue going when actually face to face with the boys. So I only managed a weak “thank you” to Gongchan who said it back (he’s so sweet ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥) and I blurted out a rather embarrassing “I love you!!” to Sandeul ahahaha god so much for being a cool, mature noona.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The walk back to the hotel was short, although we did wind up briefly walking in the wrong direction somehow because I can’t be trusted with directions even if the distance is only a few blocks. Our flight home was around 11am so we planned to get up extra early to have plenty of time for Janel to get through additional screening.

Aaaand then in the morning the flight was delayed to the afternoon, which would cause us to miss our connecting flight. So we had to book a whole new trip which didn’t leave until 3:20 pm.

Getting through security wasn’t too bad for either of us, and we waited around watching B1A4 fancams and reading fan accounts. As it got close to departure there were some confusing announcements about delays and we found out our gate had changed with no warning. Also the flight was slightly delayed. Luckily (?), our connecting flight in Vegas was also delayed. Still, by the time we got there we only had 15 min before we began boarding. 

(Also, even the airport in Vegas has slots lol.)

It was a veeery turbulent ride back. All of our flights for this trip have been turbulent, but that last one was the worst. I’m not afraid of flying but I can now understand how some people could be. At one point I looked over at Janel and said, “I hope we don’t die.” If the plane went down I decided I would just pray for a quick death and also to be reborn as a cat so I can spend my life eating, sleeping, and being petted.

Finally, around midnight, we were back in KC.

Me: Let’s never go to California again. Next time there’s a concert, NY or Chicago or even Jersey is fine. Janel: SF is a flaming trash heap. It is the Tumblr of cities.

Sorry, SF, I liked you for years but now I am okay with never setting foot in you again.

But still: WORTH IT.

#down the b1a4 rabbit hole #real life junk

[la-appel-du-vide]

-HAVASU CREW- Day Two.

All too soon, 5 AM came. It’s interesting how when you sleep outside, your body kind of naturally wakes and sleeps with the sun. At home, you’d never catch me in bed before 9, or getting up at 5. But out in nature, the sun is in control.

We got up, packed everything back up, and got ready to head down, including having to use the wretched bathrooms provided at the top of the trailhead. Putting our packs on was hard, and heavy, and we had to adjust over, and over, and over. As we started off on our hike, Azul led the way, and we were so happy to have the cutest trail guide leading the pack. The two miles of switchbacks were fine, given that we were going downhill. It was actually pretty chilly that morning, but by the time we finished the switchbacks, the jackets had to come off.

Then the next six miles were pretty flat along the riverbed of the Grand Canyon. Normally, I think we would have made good time, but since we had our packs, we were constantly stopping to try and adjust them. A good backpacking pack isn’t supposed to sit on your shoulders. The waist strap is meant to be tight enough to take all the pressure off of your shoulders and put it on your legs, which can handle it. The problem was, my waist strap was too big for me. Even at it’s tightest, it wouldn’t stay on my waist, but kept sliding down and sitting right on top of my hip bones. That caused me a lot of pain. My hips are still a little bruised. So we would stop, and try to tighten it back on my waist, but a few steps later, it’d slide back down. That made it hard. Next time, I would definitely make sure to bring a pack that fits me a little better. So I would take turns between putting all the weight on my shoulders and putting all the weight on my hips. Both painful haha. Brady and Brayden were totally fine throughout the hike, but Kena also struggled. Her pack didn’t have much of a waist strap at all, so it was totally on her shoulders the whole time. And it also had a terrible fabric, that just rubbed her skin raw. So she was in a lot of pain.

The hike itself was do-able at this point. It definitely felt long, but it wasn’t too bad. It was still super early in the day, so it wasn’t crazy hot yet, and we made sure to eat and drink a lot of water. (Side-story: About half-way through the hike down, my Platypus ran out of water. I was sucking on the straw, and nothing was coming out. I was pretty surprised that I had gone through two-liters of water so quickly, but I had back-up Vitamin Waters in my pack that sustained me until we got to camp. Well, when I went to fill it up the next day, I pulled it out of my pack and it was still 3/4’s full! I was SHOOK. Turns out, I’d been hiking with it upside down the whole time. So none of the water could get to the hose part. Tells you how much I know about backpacking hahaha.)

At mile 8, we reached the Havasupai village. This is where all the natives live, and there are also a couple stores, a post office, and some small restaurants. We all collapsed in the grassy area near the store to take a break. I couldn’t have been happier to set my pack down for a bit, since it was killing my hips. We drank some more water, and I also bought a popsicle from the store. That was fun. During our break, we saw the cutest little two-year-old local, running around in a wife beater and basketball shorts so long they went to the ground. He kept howling to the sky, and we just loved it. We decided while we were there to investigate the possibility of helicoptering out. It was only $85 a person, and we thought it might be a good idea, especially since we were all pretty worried about Kena. Plus, who wouldn’t want to take a helicopter ride in the Grand Canyon for so cheap? We started to get excited about the idea, only to have our hopes crushed when we found out it didn’t run on Saturdays. So, that was out. And we were sad.

We spent about 30 minutes relaxing in the shade, then I took some pain kilers and we were on our way again. Here’s where it got bad… the last two miles to the campground are AWFUL. There’s little to no shade, there are lots of hills, and it’s all in sand. We were dying of sweat and exhaustion by the first mile. Poor Kena could barely do it. Luckily, the meds kicked in for me and my bones were less sore, but it was still a pretty brutal hike. At mile 9, the first of five waterfalls in the area can be found - Navajo Falls. We stopped there for a bit to take some photos and appreciated the beauty. There’s just nothing like icy blue water contrasted against the deep red rocks surrounding it.

Then one more brutal mile. We finally turned the last corner and THERE IT WAS. Havasu Falls! It was one of those moments that just takes your breath away. We were so proud of ourselves for making it down there, and it was honestly one of the most incredible things I’ve ever seen. The waterfall is enormous, and falls so powerfully into the beautifully blue pools below. It was like a perfect little oasis in the middle of the desert. We all stood there in awe of it for awhile. We were still at the top end of it, so we were taking pictures from above. It was nice to take a second to realize that we’d made it.

We were desperate to go swim, especially with how freaking hot it was, but the boys decided we needed to go set-up our campsite first. We walked to the campground, and had kind of a difficult time finding a place to plant ourselves. We found a first spot that would work, and started getting our stuff out, when a guy came and yelled at us to leave because he wanted, apparently, the whole acre to himself. *eye roll* So now we had to carry all sorts of ish, not put together, and it was just a mess. We walked around for what felt like forever, and no one could really agree on the best place to go. The boys finally settled on a spot, but Beach and I weren’t convinced. It was kind of out in the open, there wasn’t a lot of space, and it was in the sun. We left them there to work on setting up, while we walked further back to look for something better. We ended up finding a spot a little ways back. It was in the shade, very secluded, and had enough space for what we needed. We decided that we should go for it, and Brady went back to get everyone else. There was a lot of tension at this point, but I think it was mostly just because we just wanted to pick and spot and be done. We were all hot and tired, and just ready to swim. They came over to our new spot, and we set-up camp. It didn’t take too long, with four hammocks and one small tent. We had to get a little creative with how to hang the hammocks, but we made it all work!

Then it was more than time for some fun. We decided that we would stop and get some fry bread from the nearby stand, and then go swimming. The boys though, had one more issue they wanted to resolve. There was no way Kena was going to be able to carry her pack out. She nearly passed out getting it in. And we knew the helicopter wasn’t an option, which left only one finally possibility - mules. The Havasupai Tribe has mules that you can “rent” to carry your packs out. We knew that if they could take Kena’s pack, she’d be 1,000% better, and be able to hike out herself. So the boys went to talk to the park rangers about how to get a mule reserved.

Meanwhile, Kena, Beach and I bought some fry bread. It was delicious. Almost reminded me of a beignet, given that it was just a fried scone with lots of powdered sugar. That was a nice little break, and some much needed food. Next thing you know, we see Brayden, and he tells us he’s hiking ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE VILLAGE to reserve the mule. Apparently, you have to reserve one there, not at the campground. I told him to forget about it, and that we’d make it work, but he insisted that he was fine and that he’d be back. So the poor kid had to walk an EXTRA FOUR MILES - AND THE WORST FOUR MILES - IN MID-DAY HEAT. I am still not ok with this. Out of all of us, he’s the one who should least have had to go. Carrying his pack was no issue at all for him, and he didn’t need the mule. He’s just freaking nice. I still feel guilty though, cause I am sure that sucked so freaking bad.

While we he was gone, we went over to Havasu Falls. We took a lot of pictures, and took in all the glory from the bottom of the falls now. It really is just magnificent. Lives up to all the hype, and it was everything I thought it would be and more. I couldn’t believe I was really there. The water was COLD. Even standing by and taking pictures, the mist was freezing me out! But I couldn’t go all that way and not swim, so I resigned myself to do it. I convinced Kena to jump in with me. (As per usual, Beach was already in no problem haha.) We hesitated a little, but we did it! It was freezing, but we still swam around the waterfall pool for a while. Then we laid on big rocks, enjoying the mist but letting the sun warm us up.

After a couple of hours, Brayden finally made it back - poor freaking thing. He told us it was way harder than he expected, and I’m not surprised. The sand kills you. So hard to hike in. And in 100 degree heat… he was nearly dead. Our initial plan was to check out a couple of the other falls after swimming at Havasu, but since Brayden had to hike four extra miles, he was too tired for that anyway. We wanted him to get a chance to enjoy Havasu, and not be rushed, so we decided to wait til the next day. So more swimming and photos took place. We even went to explore a little nearby cave, and afterward, Beach slipped and scraped up her whole leg pretty bad. Wouldn’t be a hiking trip without Beach falling at least once!

Then it was time to make dinner. We had a small stove to boil water with, and so we made things like dehydrated meals, ramen, and pasta. The best part of that experience was that Beach had brought a packet of cheese and broccoli pasta. They poured the water into it, and she started to eat it. Then she goes, “Well this is crap,” looks at the back of the packet, and realizes it’s also supposed to have milk and butter in it hahahaha. We loved that. Too funny.

After we cleaned up dinner, we got ready for bed. We had to rearrange some things in our bags because it turns out, when you buy a mule, you have to buy the whole mule haha. Each mule can carry four packs, so we were going to give four of our packs to the mule in the morning, and Brady was going to keep hers. So we took some of the things she didn’t need and put them in our packs, so that she could put some of the things we would need, like water and snacks, in hers. We worked on organization for a little while, and then decided to try and play a card game. Trying to cram all five of us into Brady’s two person tent was very crowded, and hot. We played Go Fish using flashlights, but after one game, we decided it wasn’t really worth it haha. So we just went to bed.

I wasn’t even going to use a sleeping bag because it was so warm, but I was getting eaten alive by mosquitos. So I put the sleeping bag on to try and protect myself from them. Then I was sweating because I was so hot. But still, after sleeping in the car the night before, I was so happy to be so comfortable in a nice little hammock. After a ten mile hiking day, and swimming, it was one of the best nights of sleep I ever had.

[loogjun]

Day 23: Plitvice National Park, Sea Organ, Sunset

When I checked in yesterday, the first thing I asked for advice from the staff of my hostel was about how I can go to Plitvice National Park. There is a tour that I can sign up with the hostel. The guy will pick us up from here and bring us back by 6 pm. So, I signed up with this one along with Sofia.

Today, we then got up early to get some sandwiches for lunch and went to the pick up spot. I got up a bit earlier than Sofia and thought I would take my time food shopping. I arrived in the supermarket, there was no sandwiches, not the ready-made ones. And I couldn’t buy bread and ham and whatnot to make my sandwiches then. There was no time. So, I got myself some tortilla chips, trail mix, and some fruits in the hope that I would just buy food up front at the national park.

I got to the pick up spot. I went to the toilet and…

Sh*t….my period came.

Now….those of you who have known me long enough would know that I have terrible cramps when I have my period, especially on the first day.

This wasn’t a good sign. This could be bad. I had no painkillers on me.

I quickly texted Sofia asking if she had any, please bring some.

She didn’t have any :(

Plivitce Park

We got on the bus and it took us about 1-2 hours to get there. It was more crowded than we all thought. Then, I only realised afterwards that the tour price didn’t include the tickets. I had to pay extra for the tickets too. Well….this is expensive and I can barely enjoy anything at this point.

My cramp hit me and I could barely walk at that point.

Our tour guide explained to us the route. It can take about 6 hours with an easy pace.

F*ck. I can’t move.

F*ck. I can’t think.

F*ck. I am passing out.

I got to know another girl and guy on the bus. Janelle is a speech and language therapist from New Zealand. I apologised to her that I couldn’t be more social as I couldn’t even think straight. The pain was too great. She had some pills. THANK GOD. So I took some. Whatever they were, they better be helping me.

Nacho is from Chile. Sofia and him spoke Spanish on the bus on the way to the park. That was nice for me to hear and try to revive my bits of Spanish before going to Spain.

We all decided to group up and go on the trail together — me, Sofia, Janelle, and Nacho. But I really could not move at the beginning of the trail. I didn’t want to slow everyone down, especially the place turned out to be way more crowded that we all could imagine and we’re on a time limit. So, I told everyone to go first and that I would catch up with them later.

I dragged myself to the café nearby and just sat there, waiting. After about an hour, the pills finally kicked in and I felt alright again. The numbing feeling of pain was gone. I texted Nacho and we arranged to meet up at the second station. While they all hiked up there, I took a short cut and meet them up there by the shuttle bus of the park.

Remember that I said I was relying on lunch at the cafés in the park? Well, I thought I would get something at Station 2. BUT turns out the place was under renovation and there was no food. Nevermind. I can still get some at Station 3. After the pain was gone, I was so hungry so I started eating my tortilla chips and fruits while waiting for my friends. By the time they arrived, I had already finished half of my food.

We then had a 5 mins. break and continued the trail. I was really excited because I hadn’t done any part of it yet but my friends looked quite…..unimpressed so far. I asked them why and they were all complaining about the number of people. I mean, I can see that it’s quite crowded but how bad could that be?

Once we started walking again, I could see why…

Plitvice park covers different small lakes around the area. The water is super clear and super blue, surrounded by luscious forest and hills. The trails made for tourists are clear and well maintained. There were also wooden walkways over the lakes so we could see the lakes so closely. It really is pretty.

But because these walk ways are not that wide, we cannot stop for too long to take pictures or enjoy anything because we would be blocking the whole wave of people that comes after us. So, even though the place was stunning beautiful, the rushing made it not such a pleasant experience.

There was this one moment where we thought we had arrived to the queue to the ferry across to Station 3. It was so so long and we couldn’t even see the beginning of the queue but we couldn’t go any further. So we just waited there and talked. When the queue moved slowly forward we finally saw what actually was happening. This wasn’t the queue for the ferry. The whole walkway got jammed because someone stopped and took forever to take some photos. 

Can you believe that?

By the time we reached Station 3, we were all getting sweaty and sick of people and…HUNGRY. As it turned out, we weren’t the only ones thinking about getting food there. The queues for all the food were so long and the toilet as well. So, we all decided to skip actually food, bought some snacks, and continued our journey.

The rest of the trail was nice but still crowded. Although, I managed to enjoy the scenery more and I really wish I could come back here when there are less tourists in the future and NOT with a tour when I have such a time limit.

We arrived back at the bus in time. Out tour guide then revealed that we’re probably the first group in 3 weeks that got back in time = =. Had I known that earlier, I wouldn’t have hurried so much.

The most beautiful sunset with sound

When we got back, Janelle and I decided to go to the old town to check out the infamous “Sea Organ” and the sunset that people here claimed that Hitchcock said that it was the most beautiful.

We decided to change and meet up in 30 mins. I bumped into Anna, another girl who was staying in the same room as me in the hostel. She’s also interested in going with us. So, we all went together.

I learnt more about both of them. Anna is a dentist student. She is also solo travelling for the first time. Janelle was the one who pointed out about how rare it is to meet other female solo travellers. That made me feel the girl power tonight hahaha :P

We then had dinner together and went to ‘see’ the Sea Organ. Well, there was not much to see as to hear it. This was an architectural design by Nikola Bašić. The place is built with different steps for people to sit down and listen to the sound of the wind that comes through the pipes built in underneath the floor. The wind comes from the movements of the waves that hit the port. So, Sea Organ is actually the sound of the sea. It could be really soothing to listen to if it wasn’t so crowded. After listening to it for a while, we moved on to see the sunset.

The sunset was as beautiful as they claimed. It was crowded but we found a spot to sit on the edge of the port. Once we sat down, it was as if there was no crowd behind us. It was great.

I also saw a yellow submarine passing by just at sunset. It was really cute.

After fighting through the crowd for hours today (and my cramps), it was really nice to just sit down and appreciate this sunset. For the first time today, I felt calm again.