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hawkeyeslaughter · 4 months

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Do you have any (minor) headcanons that you have little to no evidence for but you just believe them as if they were the truth?

oh god of course i do

— the nurses taught klinger how to hem , alter , even make some of his own clothes ; he gets so good at it that sometimes they just come to him with their needs

— the uke ( ? ) that hawkeye has hanging in the swamp ? he knows how to play it surprisingly well , he just never does unless drunker than usual

— radar put soles in his boots one time that made him taller and it took even hawkeye like a solid week to figure out what was different about him ( once he did , though , radar had no refuge from the teasing )

— the nurses hold regular gossip sessions and sometimes compare notes on the guys of the 4077th

— margaret knows how to cut hair , taught herself how to cut her own ( because she got sick of barbers not cutting it the way she wanted ) . has more than once had to come to the rescue of nurses who have marred their hair by taking the scissors to it

— in college bj was a relentless and revered hazer ( which is funny considering he barely got through his own hazing )

— hawkeye’s use of petnames ( “ darling “ , “ sweetheart “ , “ baby “ , etc etc ) are all picked up from trapper . prior to meeting him he hardly ever used them

— when oliver got his orders home , trapper and hawkeye threw him a rager in the swamp and were very badly hungover for their actual goodbye the next day

— father mulcahy has that thing where he hears a tune and can instantly play it on the piano

— charles falls asleep regularly during movie nights hawkeye and beej drag him to , usually on hawkeye’s shoulder

— trapper is colorblind . not like , drastically colorblind , but hawkeye finds out one day and teases him absolutely relentlessly for it

— trapper and oliver always did this bit where they pretended they were whispering things and wouldn’t tell hawkeye what they were saying because it was funny to watch hawkeye get all huffy and annoyed with them

— henry has to do the right / left things with his hands all the time ( PLSASE ITS SO STUPID )

— margaret has a crazy sweet tooth + sometimes bj asks peg to send sweets back specifically for margaret

— potter’s horse or pet names in general very rarely alter because he just can’t be bothered to come up with new creative ones . besides , tried and true always works

— klinger is a pool shark . idk why he is he just is . he has pool shark vibes

— trapper briefly considered going into pediatrics

— charles sometimes has very serious conversations with the camp strays ( mainly just voicing whatever he may be thinking of at the particular moment )

— radar sometimes likes to imagine he’s the protagonist in a superhero world and i mean why not . little dude is literally psychic

— hawkeye has a habit of ripping at his nails , klinger regularly checks them and manicures them for him

— the nurses and swamp rats regularly get involved in prank wars . the nurses are far more clever than some people realize

— hawkeye and trapper stood back to back once to see who was taller and had radar judge ( hawkeye tried to bribe radar to say it was him )

— one time margaret made frank cry so hard he threw up . good for her

— bj has weirdly good reflexes and can catch things while barely looking up , he has a habit of saying “ i knew i should’ve gotten into baseball “

— charles does that thing where someone asks him to do something and he says “ no “ while actively doing it

— the swamp rats are all actively ready to swing on anyone who upsets one of the nurses and that goes double for margaret . sometimes they actually do

— hawkeye has a pair of roller skates . do with this information what you will .

— father mulcahy is a self - taught painter

— henry tells the same stories more than once and hawkeye , trapper , and radar have a mutual agreement to pretend they’ve never heard them whenever this happens

— hawkeye and radar have made many a pinky promise , and never once did one get broken

— charles is surprisingly a god awful secret keeper , he tells most secrets to margaret

— henry is scared shitless of cats

#sorry i had so many i got started and i genuinely could not stop #i hope you guys like my silly silly headcanons #holds hawkeye and charles and trapper and margaret and henry gently : they do this because i say it #my friends my closest friends #townes answers asks !#m*a*s*h #mash #mashposting #mashblr #mash 4077 #lgbt #lgbtq

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azulhood · 7 months

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How to gain a family via gaslighting.

Gotham City was a pretty cool place, Dani made sure she got multiple photos of the gargoyles to send to Sam since the goth girl was pissed she couldn't visit her favourite city.

Dani eyed the cloudy sky above her.

It was hard for normal humans to tell when it was going to rain in Gotham since the sky was a constant grey, but she could sense the storm approaching.

She should find a place to sleep and wait it out.

"What are you doing?"

Dani looked bellow her to find three armoured beings of various colours.

Ah, right, this city had heroes like Danny. Which must mean that these were those hero's.

She looked down at herself.

Ah, right, her invisibility had slipped.

"Floating." She replied honestly, which should have been obvious.

"Who are you?" The one in all black practically growled.

Weren't they part of the Justice league which was a part of the government which had declared all ghosts to be non-sentient.

And if they knew the existence of Halfas...

Dani couldn't really tell them the truth.

She couldn't leave anything that would led them back to Amity.

She couldn't led them back to Danny.

'When in doubt...Bullshit, bullshit so freaking hard that there's no choice but to believe it.' Danny's advice that he randomly gave her echoed in her head.

Dani picked out one of the vigilantes.

The one wearing black and blue.

Her lip wobbled, her eyes teared up.

"Dad, you don't recognise me?"

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dc x dp #dp x dc #when the batfam ask her why she has no records #time travel is the answer #when they ask her why the blood test doesn't match Nightwings dna but a random kid in a tiny town?#she was adopted and time travel #time travel is Dani's answer to everything

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justagalwhowrites · 5 months

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Perhaps a Fucksgiving prompt: Joel, in grey sweatpants. (I can't be the only one so affected by grey sweats, right?!) Doesn't even matter what universe it's in because I think it could work in Lavender, Yearling, or NIT. Or something new. Just...have fun with it, lol.

AHHH BESTIE!!!

I love this, thank you so much for this ask. So here's NIT!Joel being an absolute fucking menace in gray sweatpants.

LOVE YOU!!

Fucksgiving 2K23: Gray Sweatpants

Joel makes an... interesting wardrobe choice for Thanksgiving dinner prep. A New in Town BestFriend'sDad!Joel drabble that can be read as a stand alone.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader (both from New in Town)

Warnings: SMUT :D No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ only

Length: 1.8k

“It’s too early for this,” you groaned, face down in your pillow. “It’s supposed to be a holiday…”

Joel chuckled, his large, warm hand spreading over the bare skin of the small of your back.

“You stay in bed,” he pressed a kiss between your shoulder blades. “I’m the one who decided to smoke a turkey.”

“No,” you sighed, turning your head against the pillow so your voice wasn’t muffled anymore. “Not going to make you get up on your own. Just do me a favor and start the coffee?”

He laughed again.

“Whatever you say, Beautiful.”

You listened to Joel getting dressed for a moment before you forced yourself to get out of the warm, comfortable bed.

You loved Thanksgiving with the Millers. So many traditions, so many delicious foods, so many people you loved who loved you back. But the smoked turkey thing was new and, as it turned out, you’d been a lot more excited about it in theory than in practice. Morning sex was not an option when your boyfriend needed to be cooking before 8 a.m. Joel had gotten you some cute festive pajamas, at least - not that he ever left your clothes on long once you were in bed - and you pulled on the orange plaid pants and matching thermal before toying with your hair enough that it wasn’t a disaster and shuffling to the kitchen.

The coffee pot’s brew cycle was just sputtering to an end when you got there and you pulled down a mug, pouring yourself a big cup and adding Irish cream before making Joel a cup of his own. You glanced at the clock. 7:18 a.m. Joel was never allowed to smoke a turkey again, you decided. Being up this early on Thanksgiving was a bridge too far.

“You look exhausted,” Joel laughed as you squinted against the morning light.

“You’d be exhausted, too, if you’d gone out with Sarah and her high school friends last night,” you groaned, passing him his favorite chipped mug, the one with an owl on it. “I swear, I feel like I’m still in my 20s and then I go bar hopping…”

You made your way over to a lounge chair by the pool and plopped down on it, taking a long sip of coffee. As the caffeine settled over you, you actually opened your eyes and took in the golden fall morning, the sun reflecting off the pool, the crisp air, the smell of wood chips as Joel got the smoker running, the outline of your boyfriend’s huge cock clearly visible through his gray sweatpants.

You damn near choked on your mouthful of coffee when you noticed it, shooting up from the lounge chair coughing and sputtering. Joel frowned, watching you.

“You alright over there?” He asked.

“Oh I’m fucking great,” you coughed, beating on your chest a bit to get the rest of the coffee down. “You’re getting changed before Sarah comes over, right?”

“Wasn’t plannin’ on it,” his frown deepened. “She’s bringing cinnamon rolls over in…” he glanced at his watch. “‘Bout an hour or so. Was just gonna wear this until closer to dinner. Why?”

“Because, babe, I’m pretty sure I can tell from here whether or not you’re circumcised and that’s not because I had your cock in my mouth last night.”

Joel’s eyes went wide and he looked down before looking over at you again.

“They’re just sweatpants, baby.”

You snorted.

“They’re gray sweatpants,” you replied. “Those are an entirely different animal.”

Joel’s frown deepened.

“What? Why?” He asked. “They’re… they’re sweatpants!”

“You really don’t know this?” You laughed a little. He shrugged, still looking at you like you were just a bit crazy. “Oh, babe…”

You set your cup of coffee down and went over to him, looking him up and down.

Yeah, you got to see Joel every day. You lived together, after all, and moving in together hadn’t exactly lessened your sex drives. The only day you hadn’t fucked in recent memory was when you had a stomach flu and you were too sick to have anything going into you, including Joel. But you still loved to look at him, at his shaggy, graying hair; at his soft, brown eyes; at his strong, broad chest. Even without the… advantageous sweatpants, you’d been enjoying the view. He might have been in a threadbare Texas Longhorns shirt that was probably the same age as Sarah he managed to look fucking gorgeous in it, the shoulders stretched a little tight and the sleeves a bit snug on his thick biceps, the outline of his soft stomach just visible through the drape of the fabric.

“Let me demonstrate,” you said, locking your eyes on his and reaching down to trace over his cock through the fabric, starting at his tip with the lightest pressure. He gasped softly when you made contact with him and you smiled ever so slightly. “I can tell your head starts right here…” He moaned a little and you ran your fingers down to the ridge of him, tracing back and forth over the flare of his tip. “And that it ends right here.”

“Fuck, beautiful…”

You smiled and moved lower, down his shaft.

“Can tell just how big you are,” you said, voice breathy. He moaned and you kept going until you were at the base of him, tracing him there, too, before wrapping your hand around him as best you could with the fabric between you, starting to stroke him. He whimpered, dropping his head to your shoulder. “And I can tell that you’re getting hard…”

“Not giving me much choice in that, Beautiful,” he groaned. “Jesus fucking Christ…”

You took your hand back.

“But you’ve got a bird to smoke so…”

You turned to go grab your coffee again, smirking once your back was to him. But Joel reached out and grabbed your wrist, pulling you back into him with a needy grunt.

“Don’t know where you think you’re goin’…” he growled, pulling you tight against him, so tight you could feel his hardening length on your stomach.

“Me?” You said, feigning innocence. “I just don’t want to be in the way of the chef…”

“Shoulda thought of that sooner,” he kissed you firmly, desperately, his tongue opening your mouth and sliding inside. You kissed him back until he pulled away from you, breathless. “Gotta make this quick…”

He took your hand and pulled you in the house and you laughed as he started tugging at your shirt the second you were in from the cool morning air. He tossed it on the couch and his mouth was almost immediately on your breast, sucking and licking at you as he maneuvered you back toward the couch. He pushed your pants and panties down as he did and you stepped out of them, leaving them in a pile on the floor. You pulled at Joel’s shirt and he almost reluctantly pulled his lips from you as you exposed his chest. He nudged you down onto the couch so you were sitting on the middle cushion and he spread your legs wide before shoving his pants to the floor.

Joel knelt between your thighs and hooked his hands in the crease of your knees, pulling your ass to the edge of the cushion as you let out a surprised yelp. He notched his head against your dripping hole and took hold of your thighs before thrusting fully into you in one sharp, firm motion.

“Fuck!” You moaned, the stretch of him burning in the most satisfying way.

“This what you were tryin’ to get me to do?” He panted as he fucked into you, fingers sinking into your flesh. “Tryin’ to get me to fuck you silly? That it?”

“Fuck, yes!” You groaned and he slid one hand to your lower stomach, his thumb finding your clit as fingers spread wide over your skin. He pressed down on you and the sensation of him filling you grew impossibly stronger. You could feel his hand pushing on where his cock was opening you and your body was already getting tight and hot and needy. “Fuck, Joel, holy shit…”

“Gonna fill you up real good, Beautiful,” his voice was strained. “Leave you so fuckin’ full of me, make you feel it all day.”

You moaned at his words, at his thumb working you, at the slide of his thick, heavy cock as he pushed deep into you.

“I’m gonna come, Joel,” you panted, all but squirming below his touch. “I’m gonna come, I’m gonna…”

“Do it,” he fucked into you even harder. “Come for me, come on my cock, want you to milk this cock, give it to me, Beautiful, fucking come for me.”

You obeyed, your hand flying to Joel’s forearm and digging your nails into him as your pussy fluttered and pulsed over him.

“There she is,” he fucked you through it. “Jesus Christ, feel so fuckin’ good, gonna fill you up Baby, leave you so full…”

He pressed deep, to the very end of you and you felt him spill deep inside you, his cock pulsing and throbbing as he filled you with rope after rope of his come.

“Fuck,” he moaned as your orgasms both ended and he collapsed onto you, his head on your chest as you both panted for breath. You scratched your fingers through his hair and you kissed the top of his head, breathing in the fresh, clean smell of him that was now tinged with sex.

After a moment he sat up enough to kiss you deeply as he pulled himself out of you and he got to his feet. He went to the bathroom and came back with a washcloth, gently cleaning your messy slit.

“Just because I probably shouldn’t say this around your entire family, can I say that I’m thankful for your dick?” You teased.

Joel laughed, shaking his head.

“I’m just thankful for you,” he said, leaning over and kissing you. “Pussy’s a bonus.”

He passed you your clothes before gathering his own. He put on his shirt and underwear but tossed his sweatpants over his arm before heading back toward the bedroom.

“What…” you began, but he cut you off.

“Clearly can’t trust you around the gray sweatpants,” he teased. “Better change before you got me worried about a different kind of stuffing…”

You groaned as you pulled on your shirt.

“Oh shit, I forgot, you still have to actually get the turkey in the smoker!”

He laughed.

“Don’t worry, Beautiful,” he said. “Think that was worth dinner starting a bit late. Might have to make it a new Thanksgiving Day tradition.”

You laughed, too.

“We just might.”

#fanfic #joel miller x female reader #kit answers #send asks #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #new in town #smut fic #fucksgiving #joel miller x oc

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captain-rickbond · 7 days

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Laz the Mechanic 🔧

#larry rickard #no one really asked for it #but I wanted to draw this annoyed oiled up Laz #Grebo Mechanic #laurence rickard #six idiots #the six idiots #them there #six idiots fanart #fanart #art #procreate #digital art #Rickard is always the answer #Chicken Town #I know this movie is not even out yet but come on #what did you expect from me...

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hypogryffin · 9 months

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i cant believe i wasn't following u b4,,,,,ive just been silently scrolling through your blog for like a solid YEAR and just haven't even noticed????? n e ways what are tha thoughts on literally anyone in p4 being trans bc i live for that 🎤

the way my brain decided that this was asking for pronoun headcanons and did not reread to make sure that was what you were asking before drawing all of this…... well anyways

#asks & requests #p4 #trans naoto #<- trans everyone lmaooooo #sort of waffling on chie-- he could also be trans or enby easily #ive always thought he would be a 'my gender is lesbian' type person tho LMAO #if hes trans then she and yukiko are as close as they are because trans friends lmao if chie is afab then i think that would come up #accepting his shadow- part of him not feeling 'feminine' enough is that yukiko is more of a woman than her in societys eyes and well.#its not a violent outing bc no one who heard her shadow is like that but chie apologises to yukiko for that #yukiko transitioned pretty early so no one in town (school age at least) really knows #rise is afab its just that she Despises the idea of being a man #kanji is cis but hes cis+ after exploring; does do the occasional drag but is a gay man who happens to use she/her #yosukes whole vibe is 'probably nonbinary but i have a job so i cant worry about that rn'. also i think maybe bigenderism in his future #he/him only for the foreseeable future tho. baby steps #narukami is defo stealth mode for at least the beginning of the game but probably around teddie or naotos shadow she comes out #and i like kuma so ze is like me and uses it/its. :).#ok those are all my notes. sorry for not directly responding to what you asked but i do think what i said is a good answer to your wuestion.#for claritys sake i also live for it.

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papermint-airplane · 17 days

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where is fishfinger

i am deprived

i need fishfinger updates

Listen here, you lil rat. 😤

Happy now? 😭

(I love him too)

#ask #answer #sim: fishfinger #i can't wait to get him into rogue town #i really think he and rio would get along very well #my boy is a star

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dayurno · 21 days

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most touching bit that has been going on recently is people including kevjean when they say there are ship wars being fought on jean's holy name as if kevjean is ever even remotely comparable to jerejean (famous) and jeanee (canon)..... there are five kevjean fans and two are me. i dont think we can compete let alone compare but i love the enthusiasm

#LIKE I GET IT. BUT I WISH #my friends my acolytes my sisters and my cousins how i wish. how i wish!#its seriously touching its like having your bumfuck ass small town shout out @ the international news #but unless kevjean is secretly super famous in an underground aftg fight club then we are truly doomed #realistically what do we have. jean's suicide and the 2 in his jersey #thats all #these whores dont even talk. kevin hasnt answered jeans texts in a year #its moreover (moreau + over like joever) and we know its moreover. but i love getting included so thank you #even if kevin is indeed jeans bi awakening its literally crumbs girl its crumbs #i mean i guess you never forget your first love BUT STILL. you understand that its moreover #let renee and jeremy duke this one out kevin has done his time he was cute and pretty when it mattered and now he gets to gracefully exit #also to be honest lowkey kevin doesnt even want jean which hurts me personally but anything for my princess....#im showing him picture after picture of jean holding puppies and helping old ladies cross the street and kevins asking me where andrew at #hes looking the other way hes checking his nails hes whistling #lalalalalaing even #txt #kevjean

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skyward-floored · 14 days

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Do share, Tarrey Town grudge?

@th3only-one also asked about this, so I shall share:

So be me, wandering around Hyrule as Link, ignoring most of the sidequests in the populated areas because I liked to stick to the woods and wild spots of Hyrule (and I was on a Mission to find all those shrines so by golly I was gonna). I'd just found Akkala, and as fall is my favorite season, I'd decided it was my new favorite region and was exploring like mad, enjoying the foliage and scenery (less so the powerful monsters but everything comes at a price).

So I'm wandering around this lake, looking for shrines, poking around for bugs and stuff, and I see there's this weird tall island thing in the middle of it, with what looks like a land bridge and everything. Sweet! There must be a shrine up there!

I slowly work my way around the lake, avoid getting killed by the guardian that's down there, swim across some water, realize there's a road up there I could've been following that maybe would've resulted in less near-death experiences, but I like to follow the lay of the land, and make it to the top.

And find no shrine :/

...but I DO find a goddess statue!

I was so puzzled at finding it, I spent a long while trying to figure out why there was this little desolate spot with a goddess statue just plunked among these rocks in this little pool. I wandered around a little more, found the great fairy nearby, and came to the COMPLETELY LOGICAL CONCLUSION, that obviously this is a little secret spot for travelers! There's no town anywhere in Akkala, so obviously this is supposed to be a place for travelers to stop and pray (and the developers put a fairy fountain there for player convenience).

I was so charmed by it. It became my favorite goddess statue to visit, I'd make detours there all the time so I could use up spirit orbs, and sometimes I'd just go there and chill for a while, and find flowers or listen to rain or whatever. It became my special little spot.

Eventually, I started cracking down on sidequests I'd been goofing off on, like giving Bolson all that wood, and other stuff like that. Hudson says he's going to start on a town somewhere in Akkala? Neat! That'll be interesting. I think nothing of it.

Until I go to visit my goddess statue spot, and find there is is a guy there. Hammering my rocks. With a mallet.

HUDSON IS BUILDING A TOWN. IN MY SECRET SPOT.

HE CAN'T DO THIS!!!

Despite how I try and get him to leave (I whacked him with all sorts of stuff, no dice), he stays. Maybe if I do what he wants he'll leave? Maybe he's just gathering materials here and will move somewhere else?

Nope.

Hudson does not leave. More people join him. Soon enough to my dismay there's a house in my spot, and another one, and people and animals and suddenly my spot is Tarrey Town. My beautiful, quiet spot in the wilderness is now nothing but a victim to the continuous march of urban sprawl.

...So yes, I have a mild grudge against Tarrey Town.

#disclaimer though it is a sweet sidequest and when i played through botw again i enjoyed it much more #but that first time... man #i was SO mad #and still have a little grudge lol #answers from the floor #lovely ixtaek #breath of the wild #tarrey town #aah I need to get off drat #thanks for the asks folks <3 I have a few left still I'll answer tomorrow

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shanastoryteller · 1 year

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Happy Halloween! More of Momma Hera pls

continuation of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37

Sally isn't the only mortal she's fallen for - she's had plenty of legitimately half blood children that remained unclaimed.

But she is the only mortal that Hera has trusted to raise her godly child.

Percy isn't her first child with Poseidon, but she was able to raise Aphrodite in secret in the waves' depths and pass her off as springing from Zeus's blood in the sea.

Amphitrite and Triton make things complicated. Hera does not believe she could do the same with the son growing inside of her without getting caught.

She thinks of the girl from New York, who is daring and loyal and sparks with a brightness Hera has never been able to bottle or steal.

She thinks of Sally, and gives her and Poseidon's son to a mortal woman to raise.

#prompt answers #prompts are closed #asks #anon #pjo #sorry i was missing i had out of town friends visiting for a wedding

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skeletalheartattack · 6 months

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Trick or treat! 🧍

look. listen. don't tell the other asks but i absolutely wasn't expecting to get a sixth trick or treater tonight. i know it's not much but do you mind taking this fifty dollar bill off my hands. you can try eating it but i don't think it'd taste very good.

#ask #letmesleepy #my art #my characters #boe #boe tai marrow #i wasnt joking btw. i saw 5 and was like. okay i can do 5.#then i refreshed and saw yours shep. and i panicked #i didnt want to take any longer with answering these cause my drawing hand was starting to get sore #so i hope the 50 dollar bill is enough. okay? okay?#i gotta skip town. if the other asks see i gave you money theyre gonna pull out the torches and pitchforks.#thank you for the trick or treat. if the other asks ask. i never lived here.

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hawkeyeslaughter · 4 months

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I kinda wish they had done at least one episode with Frank AND Charles to see Winchester pisstake Burns so hard Hawkeye and B.J. start to really bond with Charles.

charles would have accomplished in one episode what hawkeye and trapper didn’t in three seasons and that is crumple frank for the next ten years . and one of mash’s greatest crimes was robbing us of it 😭😭

#townes answers asks !#m*a*s*h #mash #mashposting #mash 4077 #mashblr #charles winchester iii #charles winchester #bj hunnicutt #hawkeye pierce #hawkeye #frank burns #swamp rats #lgbt #lgbtq

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sincerely-sofie · 3 months

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Twig vs. the catfishing dittos if you’re still taking requests? Or maybe Dusknoir and Ark teaming up to watch a bunch of children after they were accidentally left with babysitting duty?

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justagalwhowrites · 6 months

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hi hun! ❤️ send you this for the no outbreak joel haunted house/haunted hayride/haunted forest one shot. thank you so much again! you are the best. 😊

HI BESTIE!!!

Love this ask so much!! I felt like New in Town Joel was the best Joel for this one, so here's BFD!Joel taking Beautiful to a haunted house because he's the kind of guy who will do anything his woman wants. And we love that for us <3

Hope this is what you're looking for!

Haunted House

You've always loved haunted houses so your boyfriend, Joel Miller, takes you to one just before Halloween. Featuring New in Town Joel Miller and set between the chapters First Thanksgiving and Second New Year.

Pairing: Best Friend's Dad!Joel Miller from New in Town x Female Reader from New in Town

CW: Smut! No use of Y/N. Minors DNI, 18+ only

Length: 2.1k

“You’re kidding.”

“Promise you, Beautiful, I’m really not.”

You gaped at Joel as the two of you made your way from the makeshift dirt parking area to the ticket booth for the haunted manor.

“Joel,” you laughed in disbelief. “You love horror movies! How have you never been to a haunted house?”

“Haunted houses are very different things,” he said, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Movies are just in your living room or a theater, shit’s not actually there…”

You stopped in your tracks and it took Joel a second to realize he’d lost you and come to a stop, too.

“What?” He frowned.

“You’re scared.”

“No,” he scoffed a little too hard and a little too fast. “I’m not scared, I just…”

He trailed off.

“Just what?” You teased, stepping up close to him so you were just inches away from him, smiling up at him.

“Just not sure I’m gonna like feelin’ out of control,” he said, sounding a little sheepish as he tugged you against him, one hand on your waist the other cupping your cheek to tilt your head toward his.

You frowned a little. He sounded more genuinely unsure than you’d expected.

“We don’t have to go,” you said. “Really, I don’t need to do it…”

“You like your haunted houses,” he smiled a little and kissed you gently. “Want to do it with you. Besides, who knows. Maybe I’ll like it.”

“OK,” you said, still a little uncertain but you kissed him quickly, anyway. “But if you change your mind, we go home.”

He laughed a little.

“Not changing my mind, Beautiful. Let’s go get the shit scared out of us by fake serial killers.”

“Also probably clowns,” you smiled, taking his hand and leading him to the ticket booth.

Joel felt antsy behind you as you stood in line, his arms draped over your shoulders, holding your back to his front, his lips occasionally finding your temple or your cheek or the curve of your ear.

“Don’t worry, Baby,” you smiled back over your shoulder at him and gave his forearm a squeeze. “I’ll keep you safe.”

“Gonna use you as a human shield at the clown part,” he teased.

You laughed as the two of you were guided into the first room of the haunted house, wallpaper peeling and rotting wood exposed. A lamp flickered ominously from the corner and there was a creak from a shadowy spot near the hallway on the other side of the room. Your heart rate picked up and you squealed a little, too excited to hold it in.

Joel laughed.

“Really don’t understand you sometimes, Beautiful.”

You smiled, taking his hand again.

“Away we go!”

You kept his hand tight in yours and crept across the room, watching and waiting for something to jump out at you.

The two of you almost made it to the hallway when a woman leapt out of the darkest corner, screaming and reaching for you. You jumped and yelped and Joel tugged you against him before he laughed and relaxed his hold on you.

“See?” You said as the woman snarled and reached but kept her distance. “It’s fun!”

“Maybe,” he said, keeping an eye on the woman as you led the way to the hall. “Still think you’re weird.”

In the hall, you were met with a tall, knife wielding man, making you yelp and making Joel jump between you and the would-be attacker as the pair of you ran past him and into the next room.

“See, I can tell this isn’t an actual horror movie,” he said, a little breathless once there was a moment of quiet.

“Yeah?” You asked, sticking close to him, on the look out for the next fright. “How?”

“We fuck way too much to survive a slasher,” he said, pressing a quick kiss to your temple as you laughed. “It’s always the virgins who make it out alive.”

The next room you stumbled into was filled with sloppy, neon paint and ominous organ music.

“Thought you were kidding about the damn clowns,” Joel muttered. You didn’t get a chance to reply before a clown jumped out at you, cackling as he reached and groped.

You ran, too busy holding Joel’s hand and watching the first clown to fully watch where you were going and ended up running head first into another clown, his face paint streaked with blood and teeth sharpened to points. You screamed and jumped back into Joel, who caught you and held you close. You dodged the second clown, pulling Joel along with you as you ducked below the clown’s arm and ran for the next door.

The zombie room freaked you out the most, skin hanging from his face as he scrambled across the floor for you in an eerie, inhuman way. It was so sudden and from such an unexpected place you shrieked and froze, Joel tucking you behind him and guiding you to the next room as you peered around his arm to the man snarling at the two of you.

It had been years since you’d gone to a haunted house with a guy but you found yourself getting turned on, being so close to Joel when you were scared, watching him instinctively protect you - even though you knew there wasn’t anything to actually protect you from.

The feeling got stronger the longer you were in the haunted house, almost a distraction by the time you reached the last room. Once you were headed back to the car, your panties were wet and you were trying to remember just how far of a drive it was back to the house.

“That wasn’t too bad,” Joel said, his arm draped around your shoulders. “Some of the noises you make…”

You smirked a little.

“Bet you could make me make other noises.”

“Oh yeah?” He asked, voice low.

“Think there was an empty park few miles down the road,” you said, turning to face him, walking backwards and guiding his hands to your waist. “We could see if there are any serial killers looking for hapless, horny victims in cars.”

“You seriously tryin’ to get me to fuck you in a parking lot?” He raised his eyebrows.

“Are you arguing?”

“Absolutely not,” he growled, pulling you into him and kissing you. “Never gonna argue with that.”

You laughed and went alongside him again, tucked under his arm.

“I will say, after that adventure, I feel confident in my zombie apocalypse plan,” you said, lacing your fingers with his that were dangling over your shoulder.

“You have a zombie apocalypse plan?” He laughed.

“You don’t?” You frowned at him, skeptical. “How many times have we watched Shaun of the Dead and you don’t have a zombie apocalypse plan?”

“Apparently I don’t need one,” he teased. “You got it covered. Alright, fill me in, what’s the plan.”

“Well, first, we make sure we’re in the same place,” you said. “Because you’re clearly going to be my best hope at survival.”

“Sure,” he said and you could tell he was fighting a smile.

“Then we go get Sarah.”

“Naturally.”

“Then Tommy and Maria,” you continued. “Because I feel like between you and Tommy we’ll do pretty well.”

“Feelin’ like you’ve got more confidence in my zombie fighting skills than is really appropriate,” he was fully smiling now.

“Nah,” you waved him off. “You’d do great. Anyway, we haul ass to Galveston, steal a ship, ride it out on the water.”

“See that part’s not bad,” he said. “You all wet in a swim suit all the time. I can get behind that. Alright, guess we can adopt your zombie plan as the official Miller zombie plan.”

“A vital part of any household, truly,” you smiled as he opened your car door for you before getting in the driver’s seat himself.

“You serious about the park?” He asked, brows raised.

You just reached across to his lap, taking hold of his thick, half hard cock through his jeans, stroking him slowly, firmly.

“Depends,” you said, voice darkening with want. “Think you can make it to the house?”

He groaned.

“Park it is.”

When you made it there, he didn’t even have a chance to turn the car off when you’d unbuckled your seatbelt and all but dove into his lap, taking his cock into your mouth with a satisfied moan. His hand flew to the back of your head as you took him into your throat, sucking him and working his shaft with the press of your tongue.

“Christ, Beautiful,” he was already panting and you pressed your thighs together, looking for some kind of friction, some kind of relief from the needy ache inside you. “Didn’t know a haunted house would get you this hot n’ bothered…”

You moaned around his cock and sucked hard, his fingers knotting in your hair as he guided you up and down his shaft, swallowing the salty taste of him that made your mouth water.

“Not gonna last, you keep doin’ that,” his voice was strained, thick. You sucked him harder and his hips thrust up into your mouth. “Oh shit, Baby…”

You could feel him stiffen and he yanked your head off him and you pouted at him, savoring the taste of him on your tongue.

“Got another place I’d rather come if that’s alright with you,” he panted, looking at you with wide eyes in the moonlight. Even in the near total darkness you could tell his pupils were blown.

“Fuck, please,” you said, kicking off your shoes and yanking down your leggings, Joel watching hungrily while stroking himself, still dripping with your spit as he did.

“Goddamn, need inside you Baby,” he managed as you clambered over the center console and straddled him. You aligned him at your entrance and took him into yourself in one firm, swift motion and you both moaned in relief at it, the feeling of being joined. You sat still on top of him for a moment, adjusting to the size of him. It didn’t seem to matter how many times you’d fucked him, he was so thick and long he always stretched you in a way that was just on the pleasurable side of pain, the initial burn satisfying as he utterly filled you. As the burn faded, you started to ride him, his hands on your hips as you set a heady and needy pace over him.

Joel brought a hand to your front, his thumb pressing into your clit, his fingers cupping your sex, spreading around where he was entering you, making you moan.

“Fuck,” he groaned, the hand that was still on your hip lowering his seat back so he could see where you were joined before moving to your thigh. “Look so damn pretty taking this cock.”

“Joel,” you moaned, your body getting tight around him. “I’m gonna come, I’m gonna fucking come…”

“Good,” he thrust up into you. “Make me fucking feel it, Baby. Want to feel you come, want to feel you come all over me.”

He pressed harder into your clit and it was like all the heat in your body suddenly centered on your core, everything going molten and tight before you came apart around him, your hips stilling over him as your pussy throbbed around him.

“Fuck, there you go,” he fucked up into you through your orgasm, pressing deep, working your clit. “Gonna fill you up, leave myself so deep in you…”

“Please,” you panted, still not able to control your body as you rode out the last of your climax. “Need it Joel, need you to come for me.”

“Fuck!” He gasped and you felt him press deep and throb hard inside you, the heat of him pumping into you over and over as your pussy gave his thick cock a final milking squeeze.

You slumped over onto his chest as he finished, his length still buried deep inside you, both of you panting for breath.

“Alright,” he said after a minute, his hands going to your bare ass as he leaked out of your pussy. “Decided I love haunted houses.”

You laughed.

“Really?” You teased, kissing his neck.

“Oh yeah,” he said, still breathless. “If it gets you to fuck me in the car like we’re damn teenagers, it’s my new favorite thing. Gonna have to do this every Halloween.”

“Every Halloween?” You asked, lifting your head to look at him.

“Every one,” he smiled. “As long as I spend them with you.”

You smiled back.

“Think I like the sound of that.”

He sat up just enough that his lips could reach yours.

“You and me both, Beautiful.”

#fanfic #joel miller x female reader #kit answers #send asks #new in town #smut fic #halloween fic #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x oc

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