#trans men are not men with feminine traits please for the love of god shut up

[lesbiradshaw]

Genuinely interested in what you think about Bucky being perceived as female-coded in some parts of the fandom. I read that thread years ago and agreed with because it sounded logical, but now I'm not so sure. Recently found out about the existence of this Tony Stark meta essay called "Tony Stark as the most female-coded superhero" and they use the same arguments: loss of agency, playing the damsel in distress role more often than their counterpart, etc. I can't take "fm-coded" seriously anymore

oh boy ...

idk how long this will end up but to preface whatever we do end up with: 1) im a nonbinary lesbian so my perception on what it means to be a woman and femininity in general is not going to be what a lot of other peoples is and 2) im a few months out from getting a degree in gender studies. take that for what you will. no i will not be arguing about this in my inbox.

to be frank, in my opinion, bucky being female coded is bullshit. not only is it bullshit, i have seen it used as a weapon by so many white women and terfs that even if it were true, i wouldnt care! whoever came up with the term “woobify” (which i have most often seen used in reference to how tony stark is treated) needs to tell bucky stans that they aren’t exempt. a lot of them see bucky being a victim as something that needs a continuation into every other part of his life, hence why he’s so often put into these weird dynamics with his ships and given traits he’s never displayed on screen.

i keep thinking of disclaimers to make in anticipation of people coming to my inbox crying so here’s another: if you are a woman or someone who feels a close connection to certain parts of womanhood, me saying bucky isnt woman coded in no way takes away from you identifying with him or parts of his story. that is personal. a woman’s personal relation to him is not reliant on “woman coding” as i’ve seen a lot of white women and terfs suggest, not does it strengthen the existence of such coding. coding is created within the original media, not within the fandom.

i also just realized ive been using the term woman coded rather than female coded, but i think subconsciously there is a reason for that that ties into one of my main points pretty well: the mcu stan’s definition of “female” coding relies on stereotypes, not about female roles, but about what it means in their opinion to be a woman. the issue with this is they take traits they think only exist in (cishet) women and use them to deem these (cishet) male characters as woman coded when in fact these traits are not exclusive to women and enforce weird standards upon people who are women that might not be cis or het or share these traits!

tony stark being short and bucky having long hair is not what would make them woman coded. bucky being rescued by a man while woozy is not what would make him woman coded. bucky being submissive to pierce when LITERALLY BEING BRAINWASHED is not what would make him woman coded. and perhaps a harsh wake up call: bucky’s story hinging around loss of agency issues and trauma in no way shape or form is what would make him woman coded. does it perhaps make him easier for many women to relate to? yes. but is this something exclusive to women? no. a vast majority of trauma victims are going to relate to him, and chalking up trauma to being something female makes me feel really funny.

i know exactly what thread youre talking about lmfao and its right up there on my shit list next to the childlike bucky post. theyre actually very similar now that i think about it ... but anyways. now that ive listed my woes about what doesnt make a character woman coded, what actually would! AND HERE IS WHERE WE GET INTO AN ACTUAL CASE OF WOMAN CODING! mr prequel series anakin skywalker aka my shakespearean downfall dilf. why is he seen as a valid example of woman coding? i will tell you.

the thing about woman coding is that its meant to subvert heteronormative tropes while remaining self aware of that to exploit and emphasize the change. DO YOU HEAR ME? SELF AWARE! anakin is given many of these stupid stereotypical traits i mentioned before, but they arent reliant on physical appearance at all. they are reliant on roles. padme is the levelheaded senate leader, the one with power and stability, while anakin is hotheaded and frankly a bit whimsical while he struggles for his own type of power and control. another classic example of woman coding (which i actually wrote a paper on last semester in my men and masculinities class) is heathcliff from wuthering heights, whose counterpart to his coding is cathy. both men have that whimsicality in common that contrasts heavily with how we would expect them to act. bucky does not act like them at all.

the reason that this is different from bucky and steve’s ‘damsel in distress’ argument is the self awareness i mentioned before. not to mention the weird heteronormative standards being applied as requirements for their gay relationship to be seen as valid because it “fits the narrative” but .. anyways.

anakin and heathcliff both have their subverted traits played up in a way that shows off how ridiculous the women usually written in their roles are forced to act. its tongue in cheek, because woman coding is not only about individual traits, but about how the character interacts with the story because of this as a whole. bucky is often seen as woman coded because he is put into these situations where he is “rescued” by someone that half his stans see as his love interest (steve my baby im sorry) when hes really only rescued maybe twice? at azzano and from the water when the helicopter crashed. only one of those is a real damsel in distress situation. all of the others are cases where hes fighting his own way out ????? bucky doesnt just sit around waiting for a “real man” to get off his ass as that post suggested but i digress.

anyways. mcu stans lack any self awareness that would be required even if bucky and tony were woman coded. calling them woman coded does not count as self awareness! the real self awareness comes with recognizing that woman coding doesnt actually make these characters women and it doesnt mean they forever belong in these “female” roles. mcu stans take the stereotypes they pick out at face value and use them to say “look! bucky is a bottom!” or to continue taking away his agency by ignoring all of his other actions and traits that dont fit in to this mold theyve made around the idea that he needs a man to save him or boss him around. his story as a whole is the only thing that would make him woman coded and seeing as there is no self awareness of this shown, no attempts to subvert, he displays little to no traditionally feminine traits, and loss of agency on its own is not something that only applies to women ...

in short: in my opinion, bucky is not woman coded. mcu stans just like rolling with stereotypes that rely around cis bodies and straight relationships. the end.

#oh also woman coding does not make a mape character trans lmfaoooooo #thats frankly just insulting #trans men are not men with feminine traits please for the love of god shut up #anyways this is my opinion and you dont have to agree but cis people arent allowed to argue with me

[sohin-ace]

May I request Brunos gang headcannons with a new transgender male member? It doesnt have to be romantic and id rather it not be. Please message me if you have questions. Some details id like to see: He is around the same age as Trish and no longer can live with his parents. He doesnt have much money so he binds his chest with bandages and fabric he can find. He hasn't transitioned at all and his gender isnt obvious. his hair is cut poorly due to cutting it himself. i hope this is okay!

This was hard to do. Trans identity is tricky to write as a non-Trans writer. Hopefully I did you justice!

Non rom.

Bucci gang w/ a Transgender male member HC

Bucciarati

The most understanding of the group.

He's horrified that such a young person has to live by themselves, especially if your gender identity is the reason you have no caretakers.

He makes sure to introduce you properly to the team and makes them understand your situation, so that you feel comfortable around everyone.

You're part of the family now, it doesn't matter what you look like or what you identify as.

Will ask you if it's okay for you to go undercover as female for specific missions, or it's that's too uncomfortable.

If you'd rather not it's okay, Fugo will do.

He comes back one day with a package on one arm.

Turns out it's a custom made binder, all perfectly fitted to your specific body type and size!

So that's why he was so insistent on taking your measurements, without ever explaining why... That sly man.

Still, you couldn't be more grateful. Those things were so expensive.

"As long as you feel comfortable and stay in good health, I'm satisfied, Y/N."

Abbachio

He's the last one to care.

If anything, the thing he hates about you is that offensive hairstyle, are you kidding him?

Boy, girl, mischief, he doesn't care what your gender is or what's in your pants, he just doesn't want you to disrespect his eyes with such a horrendous haircut.

Like, seriously, who hurt you?

Takes you apart and forces your ass on a chair to actually give you a proper cut/shave.

Bucciarati is here too, to give advice on what looks good and works for your face shape and hair texture.

Abbachio has a fairly feminine appearance himself and hardly ever follows gender norms, so he's not fazed by your own neutral or 'confusing' physique.

Just tell him your pronouns already, or else he'll call you 'Brat' out of doubt, that's pretty gender neutral.

Would appreciate it if you trusted him enough to confess about your dysphoria, as he is victim of it as well.

Yes, even a Cis-man can feel dysphoric from time to time. Please pull each other up.

Giorno

As expected of him, he is very respectful.

The very first time he mistook you for a girl, but immediately apologized for his mistake and never got it wrong again.

In fact, he was so kind and polite about it, it's impossible to stay mad at him.

Afterwards he asks a lot of questions to be sure to know the boundaries you set, what is okay and not okay to talk about or do.

Will help you style your hair in the prettiest way and adds a lot of flowers on top of it.

He is a very feminine boy himself and will make you feel handsome and confident about your more feminine traits, just the way you deserve to be treated.

If he can rock the long hair, pink clothes, cute flowers and ladybugs ornaments and still look handsome as hell, then you can perfectly rock whatever physical traits you have. He believes in you.

Uses Gold Experience on you when you're on your periods so that it last shorter.

Helps you bind your chest until you can get a proper binder, and makes sure to be very gentle with you.

Has stolen Testosterone for you, and will do it again.

Mista

The most oblivious to your gender at first.

He can't tell if you're a boy or a girl and asks you a bunch of dumb questions without really thinking of the behinds of it.

If you get offended he'll just tell you he's trying to understand and is so confused.

It takes time and a lot of explaining, but he eventually gets it and, even though he still has a lot of questions, he decides to shut up.

Hey, you were pretty nice and funny and your Stand powers were dope, so at the end of the day, who cares?

He may be a bit of a dummy, but Mista is kind. He teaches you to shave in case you grow facial hair in the future.

He'll tell you all those grown up advices about how 'You start off with small peachfuzzes and before you know it, you got a full grown ass beard'.

Goes full Big Brother™ on you.

In fact, he barely calls your name at all, only calls you 'Bro', 'Fratellino', 'Mini me', 'Bambino', 'Big guy', or anything of the caliber.

Makes you workout with him to get those big ass guns and broad shoulders (or just... Your desired body type).

Narancia

Oh god, you don't have to fret about a thing.

He's just like you and gets misgendered All. The. Goddamn. Time.

His appearance is effortlessly androgynous and he sounds fairly prepubescent as well, so you're in the same boat here.

He doesn't really care and would love it for you to not care as well. He's used to it anyways.

It's not like your gender identity is gonna stop him from dragging you into his shenanigans and make you bust the sickest moves he knows.

You two are out together and get cat called by some obnoxious dudes on the streets.

You have to stop him from blasting them with Aerosmith because, as much as he's used to being called a 'She',

He WON'T stand other people misgendering you.

"HEY! SHUT THE FUCK UP! I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU! Y/N, tell him to go suck your dick! Oh- you don't have one yet? Huh... Well uh... SUCK MY DICK, ASSHOLE! Sorry about that Y/N."

Tells you you're lucky you don't have balls because those hurt really bad sometimes.

Fugo

Is too shy to ask too specific questions about your body or sexuality, but would love to know everything about it.

Especially the more psychologic aspect of your gender identity. How it affects your mental state, how you feel, what made you realize you were trans etc.

He may seem insensitive about it, but he's really not. He's just interested and takes it with a very scholar approach.

He pretends he really doesn't care at all, but he does a lot of research and harasses Bucciarati with questions about you.

You ask him to help you bind your chest one day and he becomes a blushy mess.

He'll help you anyway though, trying to be as neutral as possible out of respect for you.

He doesn't want to get flustered and let you imagine that he sees you as 'a girl', so he plays it cool.

It's... It's just a chest right? No big deal...

He slipped up one day and almost called the wrong pronouns and when he does, he just screams. Loud.

"Let's go ask Y/N then, where is sh-hhhhhhiiiaaaaaaAAAAAAAAARRGGHHHHH!!!!!"

He doesn't know how to come back from these mistakes and he's so embarassed.

Trish

You two have so much in common, surprisingly.

You're both young teens and your parents have left you down. You could only lift each other up.

She immediately knows you're a boy and gets so confused when people misgender you.

I mean... You look a bit feminine, yes, but there were plenty of men like this. And more so than you'd ever imagine. Especially at only 15.

Also, you introduced yourself as 'Y/N', that's pretty much masculine, or at the very least, gender neutral.

"Pfft, don't listen to them, Y/N. They're so darn stupid."

Helps you voice train, e-v-e-r-y-d-a-y.

She knows a lot of vocal warm ups and exercises to not strain your vocal chords and helps you get that perfect deep voice you try to achieve.

It's just like singing in a way, right? She helps you find your vocal range to expand it and lower it to your prefered pitch.

She's so proud of you when you manage to finally use a much deeper and manly voice!

She has very short hair herself, and she'll defintely help you style yours properly and take you to her personal hairdresser (a very kind femboy who's super funny and who's gonna love you to bits)

#my hcs #jojo headcanons #jojo #jojo's bizarre adventure #golden wind #jojo part 5 #vento aureo #writing #x reader #reader insert #unromantic #non romantic #bruno bucciarati #bruno buccellati #bucci gang #trish una #leone abbacchio #narancia ghirga #guido mista #giorno giovanna #pannacotta fugo

[unpopularfact]

TransTRENDERS

I am completely fed up by this point. So I am going to lay this down hard and cold. I will not hold back.

I don’t hate many people, I’m not the kind of person to hold a grudge. This doesn’t mean that I can’t find people unbarably irritating. It doesn’t mean that there are people in this world that don’t cause me internal anguish. The people that cause me more distress than any other type of human beings are goddamned transtrenders.

What is a transtrender?

It is someone who says that they are transgender as a fashion statement. They don’t think they’re trending but they’re easy to spot. They usually ask for a they/he or they/she pronoun picks (or maybe even made up bullshit). They also feel like gender is a social construct, and feel like we shouldn’t have gender because it is just some kind of government controlling scheme or perhaps damaging to society. Because of this, they tend to not dress as the selected gender- because fuck normative thinking. Their last symptom is that they believe that you don’t need to have dysphoria to be transgender.

Let me rephrase that, using the medical terms regarding gender reassignment desires.

They believe that you do not have to have dysphoria to suffer from gender dysphoria.

—————————-

I can hear them grinding their teeth already. If you feel like you might be called out by the above paragraph, sweethart, you’re a transtrender. I’m calling you out on your bullshit today.

I suffer from gender dysphoria. I am not about to tell you all my symptoms because it would be like handing you the blueprints to something and risking you calling them your own. I’m not telling you these facts because I think less of you, or want to belittle you. You should feel happy that you aren’t suffering with an illness! Celebrate. REJOYCE.

I’m going to lay down some ground rules here, and the first one is going to be a very clear point.

-it IS okay to explore your comfort zones with your body may it be your gender, appearance or otherwise.

-it IS okay to go ‘back’ on your gender decision. Have you learned that you might actually be happy with yourself? THATS OK.

-it IS okay to wear whatever you want regardless of the ‘clothes’ assigned gender.

With all that said, let’s continue.

I see it way too much lately. Someone presenting, living as female with a gender neutral name, going out dressed effeminatly doing feminine things, born female.... telling everyone they’re a man.

You have no goddamn idea what dysphoria is, do you???

Do you know how it fucking feels to have these features highlighted and put on display?

Do you actually think that because you feel comfortable in a mans shirt- that you can sometimes occasionally do masculine makeup and think it would be better if you were a man, so that it’s easier to cosplay guys—- do you actually think that classes you as transgender????

You’re fucking wrong.

That’s not being transgender. You just lack the creativity to find methods of changing your appearance without desiring some kind of cheat sheet.

Especially if you cosplay girls

“It’s CROSSDRESSING”

I think you miss the goddamn point here. That just proves that you aren’t transgender.

Not because you’re cosplaying your bio gender- oh no. It’s because you’re clearly comfortable presenting that body shape. You clearly have no issues with stereotypically effeminate things being emphasised on show for all to see-

“Guess I’ll stop cosplaying girls then” was that your thought just now? Adjusting your habits to try and force the symptom?

Maybe you’re thinking

“Genders a social construct!”

No, it’s not. Gender- your biological sex is a fact.

The way people dress, walk, talk and act- these a stereotypes BASED on gender.

Stereotypes are grown and based on facts that take to the majority of a group of individuals who all have a trait (out of their control) in common.

I.e race or gender.

Just two examples there.

When you- by biological fella, wear girls hot pants because they hug your ass sweetly- you’re breaking stereotype.

You know heels were made for men, right? A break in stereotype means women now typically wear heels- but some men do too- does this make them transgender? It does not. Do you think these guys would rather identify as female? Absolutely not.

Does it mean a biological girl who identifies as a man should have the right to wear heels? Oh theybhave a right. Absolutely. What kind of heels? Pink fluffy stilettos? Okay but just so you know, you’re going to be swaying that booty, walking like a queen. If you’re comfortable with those parts of your body being enhanced then you’re not suffering with body dysphoria.

That’s what dysphoria is. These body parts are so alien to you, like every morning you wake up in someone else’s body. Every single day what you feel like you look like and what you see don’t align. Somethings wrong, this shirt doesn’t fit me like it fits the other girls. I’ve tried all shapes sizes and body types yet when I look all I feel is sick. I look like a man in drag- maybe I am a man in drag.

Want to get your tits out? I’m happy for you. I’m happy you can stand the public staring at them. Thinking about how weird you look- I’m glad you can stand the thought of people believing you’ve got something wrong with you- or don’t you have those thoughts...?

Because if you really don’t find the issue of showing your feminine exclusive parts as much as possible a difficult task, then I fail to see the utter detachment and abandonment of the idea that certain appendeges existed.

————-

On the topic of tits.

Binding.

Oh my god. This is a fucking laugh. I was binding even before I came out to anyone as Male. I’ve been binding for a very long time. That doesn’t mean I didn’t flash the boobs, but tucking them away ended up being so much better. I tried to get them out and I tried to be pretty and flaunt the amazing tits I have.

But still I looked in the mirror and felt like... I was wearing someone else’s shirt or something. Like I was wearing shoes that didn’t belong to me.

Hiding them was better.

I love boobs. My girlfriend has an amazing body- I desire to touch it and hold it. But I feel so off of i were to picture myself in her body.

I don’t think it would fix anything, looking as beautiful as her.

But I digress- boobs, binding. A transtrenders obsession and need to remind people how long they’ve been binding. Like it’s some extreme danger, an extreme health risk.

“I have been binding for like 20 hours man”

Some kind of desire to get someone to tell you to take it off? What is it? I don’t get that.

Fuck, I don’t want people to know I have a binder on.

I hate the thing!!!! Get it off me- I can’t stand the sight of me. Let me wear it again.

This binders like a bad drug and I don’t want people to hear it. No please don’t tell me to take it off, please.

My girlfriend said I needed to wash it- I cried,

Wtf

That means going without it!!

I’m asthmatic, too. Restriction on the chest are bad right? Not if you’re wearing the right size. If you’re not breathing right, the binder you wearnis too tight, get a new one- it’s not that fucking complicated.

I don’t care how long you’ve been wearing it, this is not a competition. If you shouldn’t be wearing it take it the fuck off and shut up.

“I binded today. It felt good uwu”

Fuck off. Binding feels aweful. I hate this crutch.

—————-

I am very tired right now. So I’m Going to stop. I might make a part 2. I’m basically sick of seeing girls post this cute boi soft aesthetic like its some pretty bracelet, yet still finding so much comfort in their shells- and I’m sat here feeling pathetic and unable to do so. Not even in the slightest.

#transgender #transtrender #millenial #trans #pronouns #dysphoria #dysmorphoa #liars

[hernameisno-one]

on being nonbinary/trans and the struggle

so, basically everything in my life to do with gender often becomes overwhelming, confusing, or frustrating for me. i don’t know why it matters so much because i am all about deconstructing gender and i gendering a lot of things. if someone asked me what it means to be a man or a woman, i couldn’t tell you anything beyond the social implications and the biological hormonal influences. i also have a condition which makes my body produce too much testosterone. people with very gendered ideas of things, when they see some of my behaviors, comment on how x thing i did is a very “male” thing. or alternatively, suggest that i’m not very ladylike. . 

now, i am a feminine presenting person. i cannot pass as androgynous or masculine, and it’s more upsetting to try and fail. i don’t know why passing matters so much to me, it just does. that being said, i do like feminine things. my favorite color is pastel pink! i love dresses (honestly, feels like just wearing a giant shirt in public, but it’s acceptable? and wearing a dress means less planning for an outfit, at least for me), i like dolls, i’m highly empathetic, i’m nurturing, and i exhibit many other traditionally feminine traits/interests/etc. i was raised with femininity imposed upon me, however. as a child, i wanted to be like my brothers. i liked to fight and get dirty, played video games, enjoyed the ‘boy’ imagination games like cops and robbers, loved playing with “girl” and “boy” toys, and absolutely hated being forced to change my behavior to being more “ladylike.” i was the only one of my siblings that had strict manners forced upon them. as a kid, i struggled between the desire of being the princess and the prince. i also liked “girl” stuff, too. just, all of the things. i even wanted to be in the young marines, boy scouts (until i discovered i couldn’t and wanted to join girl scouts), and play loads of sports (soccer, basketball, gymnastics, dance). i never got to join anything, and the interest eventually faded, but that’s how i was. as a small child, a boy and girl friend and i all decided we were dating (until i was told that was impossible).

i was also raised with super religious ideals. i went to a lutheran school for a while though we were catholic. when i was 8, my family started studying with the jehovah’s witnesses. they have very strict ideas about gender as well, and are unaccepting of queer folk. i didn’t know what being gay was until middle school. in my junior year of high school, i discovered people could be trans. 

i was obsessed. i’d discovered kim petras, and was amazed that (please forgive me, these were my thoughts before) she had been a boy and was now a girl. this also stressed me out. i was anxious all the time anyway, but a new thought was coming into the mix: “could i be trans?” i immediately shut it down as soon as it came up. of course i couldn’t! and even if i was, i could never act on it. god wouldn’t accept it. so, i buried it. 

a few years later, i discovered i was bi/pan, and in the same moment realized the bible was wrong. i stopped fully believing in god, and was questioning his existence before (many years later) ultimately deciding i don’t believe. not long after that, i learned nonbinary-genderfluid was a thing and i embraced that. it finally felt right!

but i often felt like i was faking. i’d feel feminine for months, or even over a year. then, i’d feel masculine for long periods of time, too, but never without anxiety. never without questioning my “guy-ness” as just me being wishful. and then, there were times i just felt like nothing, no gender, just... just me.  

on top of all of this, having body dysmorphia wasn’t helping. no matter what gender i feel like, i feel as though i look horribly wrong. i’m a disgusting girl, i’d make a hideous guy, and i’m just all around repulsive. the gender dysphoria only exacerbated this. i’m saying this in past tense, but really this is where i’m at currently. 

and then, the struggle gets deeper. i’m terrified of men. 

not ALL men (ha), but generally, as a whole. being raised female, perceived as female, and treated female has hugely shaped my life. gender is one of the most influential identities on a person’s life. the struggle i’ve been through, the trauma, and the abuse are all very related to my being female. it was different for my brother (i mentioned having brothers [plural] before, but one was a cousin who was removed from my life when i was still young. i no longer think of him as a brother). they had different expectations of him and allowed him to get away with more. they expected less responsibility from him as well. when i asked why, i’d be told that it was different for a girl. i was also sexualized earlier, again, due to my female-ness. i understand not all men are terrible; some men are fantastic! but it’s very rare for me to find those men. i know several incredibly wonderful men who i feel very comfortable and secure around! and for each of them, three times as many who i don’t. 

going through what i’ve been through because i was female has shaped me. i’m not sure i’d be as strong or compassionate, as understanding as i am now. i don’t know the total depth of how my sex has shaped my life, but i know it’s vast. 

so, when asked if i could choose, would i pick to be born male... i struggle to produce an answer. if i had been born male, my life would be very different, and the person i am would not exist. however, if i were to go into create-a-sim (or any character creator, i guess), i’d choose to make myself male, but with feminine features. i like smaller shoulders and wider hips, larger butt (pear shape), and soft facial features. i prefer this look in both men and women when it comes to attraction (although, lets be real, it’s rare in men). still, i would choose, if i could, to be an androgynous-leaning-towards-feminine male. 

unfortunately, what i want is impossible. 

i don’t know how to make these feelings stop, how to convince myself that i am more than my body or my gender. i usually ignore it, mostly. it can really be a struggle. sometimes, i feel gender confident, sometimes i feel fake, sometimes i don’t care at all. 

i hope someday, i find a way to be comfortable with it all, or most of the time. mostly, i hope that i can accept myself and be surrounded only by people who accept me as well. 

#nb #enby #nonbinary #tw #abuse mention #trans #txt #personal #lgbt #queer