untitled work (Protoflicker, chapter 2)
271 words, rated T : Warnings - Self Harm/Suicide
You're getting impatient. Surely there's a faster way to restart, right? (When you don't have any weapon but your fists, how do you go about dying?)
{You're incredibly conscious of your own body.}
{Every single piece of it, every muscle fiber, every layer of skin, every vein that runs through your flesh, powering you like a machine.}
{You're intimately familiar with all the gears that work together to form you.}
{You hand-crafted them yourself, after all.}
{But.}
{That means you're intimately familiar with the exact gears that, when taken out, will cause the whole machine to fall apart.}
{You've gotten impatient these last few loops. You're starting to hate the trip to find a Tear, even if it's not really that far from your designated Safe Rooms.}
{You have an urge in your bones to go faster. Make up the time. Pick up the pace to spend as little time as possible in this Change-forsaken prison of a House so you can finally leave.}
{ . . . }
{The neck.}
{The neck contains the most vital connection to the rest of your body.}
{Sever that connection, and it'll be over, right?}
{You've established to yourself that dying makes you loop. Anything that means you can't continue on. So...}
{You wait until no one's looking.}
{You take a deep breath, steeling yourself.}
{You bring your hands up to your face and press in.}
{Swift motions, Isabeau.}
{Minimize pain.}
{Maximize damage.}
{Cut off access in one}
{swift}
{motion}
{ You twist your own neck.}
{ And then}
"-- ISA???"
{Oh no}
{You fall to the ground, still conscious.}
{You can't breathe.}
{This was not swift or painless.}
{Your party swarms your sides.}
{You can't hear them.}
{You feel healing craft but it's too late, now.}
{ . . . }
{You'll do better next time.}
{You
feel
a tug
and then
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no but literally we need to take Prowler Miles away from these 20 something year old white women until they stop making him their “gangsta boo” just because he has cornrows and is the Prowler 😭😭 yall don’t even try to hide your disgusting feelings and attitude towards a young black kid and it’s honestly sickening. Why is he all of a sudden a toxic boyfriend? Why is he all of a sudden borderline or downright abusive to people? Why is the 15 year old black latino boy, that we know next to nothing about, all of a sudden fitting the worst stereotypes for black/latino men? Do you have any legitimate reasons for any of this besides, “he seems like the type?” Because you know what that sounds like, right? And i can’t even filter these out for my own peace of mind because you don’t tag your shit properly.
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I'm thinking abt that pretty fall leaves embroidery pattern post and about how like... it is categorically a repost, it's a reupload. right? a thing that is generally disliked. but because it's credited, it's genuinely boosting the artist in question.
and it could ALWAYS be like this. reposting content could ALWAYS be a symbiotic relationship, but because sourcing back to the original creator of something is so uncommon, it's just easier to ask people not to repost it at all. and people still don't understand the difference. or they'll go to the effort of cropping out usernames/signatures to repost something, which is More Effort than literally crediting the creator of something you liked enough to want to repost.
Like. I literally don't actually care if my own shit gets reposted, you have to understand. I just don't want it STOLEN. But "do not repost" is easier to write on my art than "you can repost this, but don't alter the image/remove my signature, don't you dare write 'credit goes to the artist' because that is not credit, please link back to my original post or someplace that you can actually find me. please use an actual link/url instead of writing a non-clickable link of my username, because making it text instead of a clickable link cuts the number of people who will go to the effort of visiting my own page in Half."
All those aggregate themed accounts, those fuckin annoying as hell instagrams and facebook groups that are like "body positive art we love wamen 💕 hashtag feminism" and then MASS-STEAL plus sized art created by women, if pages like these that always go and steal my older self-portraits and other works... If they just put a link to my prints of those pieces in the text of those posts, or, fuck, my commission info page? I would literally be living on the moon right now. I would have a house on the moon
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Look. I understand the rage and hurt everybodys feeling. I get it. Its awful whats happening and i want it to stop. But when i see people saying that not constantly posting about a literal genocide happening on the blog thats supposed to be their little happy corner of casual internet shitposts on a niche social media website that is not, in fact, the fucking news, is being a selfish piece of shit that doesnt care about people dying, you start to sound a bit like this
About those of us who, in this point of our lives and the miniscule amount of power we have to do anything, can only realistically do this
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