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#two years afterward and only this year have i gotten it under control again! im really digging my routine its so simple its like 4 things

haikyuu-scenarios-drabbles · 3 years

Text

Shower Friends (Miya Atsumu x F!reader)

The dorm you live in has co-ed bathrooms. Why that’s remotely a good idea is beyond you; and recently, your precious shower time is being interrupted by a certain blonde haired setter for the volleyball team. When he lies to his teammates that he has a girlfriend, somehow you get roped into his scheme.

genre(s): college!au, fake dating, angst, fluff, mutual pining, enemies to lovers (kinda), eventual smut words: 2.2k

a/n: and here we are at the end, tbh im a little sad this fic is over, it was so fun to write and i am DEFINITELY more in love with Atsumu than i was before

Epilogue

Four years have passed since you and Atsumu finally got together, and this is the third year in a row he has an away game scheduled on your anniversary. It’s hard for you to actually be mad, he can’t control his schedule. But that doesn’t mean you can’t be disappointed.

And Atsumu hates that he’s let you down again. Wanting more than anything to finally spend your actual anniversary together instead of substituting for an early or late celebration. You’re a good sport, and he loves you for that, supporting him and his volleyball career without complaint despite his long absences and track record of missing important events.

Though the night before he’s set to leave, you’re sitting beside him on the couch, tucked under his arm while the two of you watch something on the TV. For the past few minutes, you’ve been fiddling with his shirt between your fingers and he knows you’re gathering the courage to say something. He’s pretty certain he can guess what it’ll be about too. And all he can do is brace himself when he hears you huff.

“What if you mysteriously came down with something?” You finally say.

He has to laugh at that. “That’s pretty diabolical of you.”

You shrug, already feeling silly you brought it up at all. It’s not really a big deal, but it’s been three years since either of you were even in the same country on the day you swallowed your pride and stormed into his dorm room to confess to him. Sue you for being a bit put out by it.

“Did you poison my dinner or something?” His heart lifts at the small chuckle he gets out of you from that.

“No, but don’t give me any ideas.”

He rests his cheek on the top of your head, eyes still on the TV as he jokes, “Besides, ya think they have any chance of winning without me?”

He feels your smile against his chest, then jolts at the jab you give him in the side. But still you say, “They’d be nothing without you.”

Pulling you into his lap, he cradles your face in his hands and looks at you seriously. And even after four years, you’ve never gotten tired of the way he looks at you—still like you’re the most beautiful person he’s ever laid eyes on.

“I’m sorry,” he says sincerely. “I know it sucks.”

“It does,” you pout.

Pressing his forehead to yours he murmurs, “I’d be with you if I could.”

You love these intimate moments with him, when you both let your teasing natures fall away and all that’s left is how much you love each other. Even after four years, it’s still abundant, and somehow still growing every day. So, you sink into his embrace and reply, “I know.” And you do. That’s what makes it bearable. Knowing that even though he’s off in some exciting country, playing the game he loves—there isn’t a minute that goes by that he doesn’t think about you.

“You gunna watch the game?”

It so happens that this year, his game landed on the exact date of your anniversary. When he’d found out, he’d vowed to make you proud; to make him being away so often worth it to you. And it makes his heart swell when you say without hesitation, “Of course.”

So, a couple days later as he’s about to leave for the airport, he tugs you to him, lowers his lips to yours and kisses you as if he’s going off to war or something. He knows it’s a bit overkill, but he doesn’t really care. He wants to do everything he can to make it up to you. And damn, is he slapped in the face with how much he loves you when you finally separate and you tease him, “Sheesh, you’ll be back in a couple days.”

His response is to kiss you again and again muttering between kisses, “Gotta get my fill now to tide me over.”

He only leaves when you’re practically shoving him out the door. “You’re going to be late!” He reluctantly let’s go of you, hefts his duffel over his shoulder, takes his suitcase in hand and heads down the hallway towards the elevator. On his way there, you shout, “Say hi to the boys for me!”

He smiles smugly, winking over his shoulder at you. “Will do.” Knowing full well his teammates are extremely jealous of him because of you. And why yes—he absolutely does love rubbing you in their faces.

Once he’s out of sight, your smile falters as you shut the door and turn to your now empty apartment. A sadness falls over your heart that’s familiar but unwelcome. You have to find something to distract yourself, otherwise you’ll just let yourself wallow, which you know Atsumu wouldn’t want.

On the night of your anniversary, you eat dinner at Osamu’s restaurant as you normally do on the nights of Atsumu’s away games. You sit at the bar alone, watching the game on the many TV’s around that Osamu always has on the sports channel when Atsumu is playing. Tonight, you notice Osamu chats with you more than he normally does, and you’re certain he’s picked up on your somber vibes.

He even sits at the bar next to you, talking with you about the game and doing an excellent job of distracting you from the hole Atsumu always leaves whenever he’s gone. Tonight, that hole feels even bigger than it usually does.

“He’s playing good tonight,” Osamu notes, his trained eyes fixated on the TV. No matter how many games you watch, or how often Atsumu talks about volleyball, you’ll never have the same understanding of the game that Osamu does.

Chin resting on your palm, you glance at him from the corner of your eye. “Is he?” To you, it always looks like Atsumu is playing well.

But you like listening to Osamu’s technical breakdown of his gameplay and aren’t opposed to helping his endeavor of distracting you. “He’s tuned in,” is all he says by way of explanation.

You watch the TV with newfound interest, noticing that Osamu seems to be right. Atsumu is normally pretty focused, but tonight whenever the camera shows a closeup of him, the look in his eyes is razor sharp. And yet, he’s still making those insane plays that catch his opponents completely off guard. You can feel your pride bubbling up in your chest like it does every time you watch him play, quirking your lips upward into a small smile.

You love how much Atsumu loves volleyball, and whenever you can you go to his games here in Japan because watching him on TV is nothing compared to in person. Plus, it’s way more fun getting swept up into his arms in the heat of the moment after a win than several days later when the excitement has died a little.

You watch Atsumu the rest of the game, noting how the closer they get to match point, the more tenacious he becomes. But unlike other times, when he gets too excited and starts making insane plays that might not work, he seems to be dialing in even further, pulling the best out of all of his hitters even when they’re at the end of their rope. You at least know enough about volleyball to appreciate just how amazing that is.

To your delight, the Black Jackals win, and as usual several of the players get interviewed afterwards. Somehow, Hinata and Bokuto are still full of energy despite playing a full match, speaking excitedly to the interviewer. The coverage switches to Atsumu’s interview, and you can’t help ogling him a little bit. He somehow manages to look good, his hair damp from sweat but eyes gleaming from the adrenaline of the match.

And as you suspect, like Hinata and Bokuto, he’s pretty amped after the game. Amped enough that he completely ignores the interviewer’s questions and looks right at the camera. Immediately, you’re struck by the feeling that he’s looking directly at you. “I’ve only got one thing to say and that’s happy anniversary to the lovely lady I got waiting for me at home.”

The interviewer flusters, changing gears quickly and trying to get Atsumu to comment more on his relationship, but all he does is give the camera his signature smile and a wink before turning his back to the screen and rejoining his celebrating teammates. You don’t hear what the interviewer says next. You’re pinned to your seat, stunned, until your natural reaction is to burst out laughing at his proclamation.

Osamu just eyes you curiously, a small smile splaying across his lips as you say, “Only Atsumu—I swear.”

He shrugs. “Hey, you picked him.”

“Yes,” you laugh. “Yes, I did.” And you really wouldn’t have it any other way, no matter how long or how many times he’s apart from you.

You leave shortly after the coverage of the game has ended, bidding Osamu goodnight and thanking him for his company and hospitality. He waves you out, and once you’re on your way home, you’re suddenly overwhelmed by the loneliness you’ve successfully kept at bay until now. The thought of climbing into a cold bed that feels too big when Atsumu’s not there settles into the front of your mind and it’s hard not to spiral into the sadness that’s been looming over you all day.

You sigh, wrapping your coat tighter around you, trudging towards your apartment that you know is going to suffocate you with its silence. You know it’s pretty pathetic missing him so much, feeling sorry for yourself that you’re alone once again on this day, but you can’t help it. The hope that next year will be different is nearly gone by now, your determination to refuse to accept it finally broken.

Entering the dark apartment, you toss your keys onto the counter and make your way to the living room, fully intending on spending the rest of the night mindlessly watching some TV show until you fall asleep. Subconsciously, your thoughts wander to what Atsumu is doing right now. The team usually goes out after games, especially ones they win. And it’ll be a day or two until they leave wherever they’re at, so they have plenty of time.

Part of you aches at the thought of him out, having a good time with his team, while you’re here—alone, watching some lame TV show and feeling sorry for yourself.

What you don’t know, is that Atsumu has forgone the celebration tonight. In fact, he’s rushing to the airport to catch his late flight back to Japan. He booked this flight the day after he found out he was going to be gone again. He might not make it back in time to be there on the actual date, but he hopes the gesture is enough.

On the flight, he thinks about your reaction, imagining your laugh and beaming smile at the sight of him. Daydreaming about sweeping you up into his arms and kissing you until you’re both breathless and dizzy keeps him awake, though he doubts you’ll be when he arrives. That’s alright, he perfectly happy surprising you in the morning too.

He gets back to Japan in the early hours of the morning, and when he enters the apartment, he finds you fast asleep under a blanket on the couch, the TV casting a faint glow into the room. He smiles softly to himself, allowing himself a minute to appreciate how adorable you look. Leaning down, he finagles his arms beneath your shoulders and legs and hefts you into his arms to carry you to the bedroom. To his surprise, you don’t wake up. Instead, you mumble quietly, and his heart nearly bursts at how even in your sleep you press closer to him.

Tucking you in, he kisses you lightly on the forehead before climbing under the covers beside you. Pulling you into his arms, you fit nicely in his embrace, and he falls into an easy sleep.

In the morning, your eyes flutter open, blearily looking around and realizing you’re now in the bedroom. When did you move in here? Did you put yourself to bed last night without realizing it? It’s then that your eyes snap open at the realization that the apartment smells like breakfast. Heart thundering against your chest, you throw the covers off you and head towards the kitchen so fast you almost trip in the hallway.

Upon seeing Atsumu standing at the stove, his back to you, it’s hard to keep your feet under you. And without your permission, tears well up in your eyes so fast that a few drops are already sliding down your cheeks. You sniff to try and get a hold of yourself, which gets Atsumu’s attention.

He whips around to find you standing at the entryway of the hallway with tears streaking down your face and immediately his heart softens. “Happy anniversary, love,” he says by way of greeting.

You can’t stop yourself; your feet move before your brain can catch up with them, throwing yourself into his open arms. He squeezes you tight, and then your lips are on his, your fingers tangling into his hair pulling him closer as you slot your body against his. He can’t help chuckling at you, despite thoroughly enjoying this reaction to his surprise.

“I’m trying to cook breakfast,” he says between kisses.

You don’t think he’ll be very hard to convince to abandon the eggs on the stove. With one hand, you turn the burner off. “Don’t care,” you say, pushing him back towards the bedroom.

He happily obliges.

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flappingdragon200 · 3 years

Text

Summary}

Noelle gets noticed by her big brother and his rival. Noelle gets caught and the two have to explain themselves (Sorta). But all in all, Noelle finally strikes a deal with her siblings.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Previously]

"You know..." Her brother sighed before continuing, " I should have challenged you to a game of poker. I would have won. And I'd also have more money on my behalf." He looked up and smiled, and Fuegoleon dipped Nozel and... and...

MY BROTHER IS GAY?!?!?!?!?!?!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Continue...]

Noelle didn't know what to do. She stood there, eye's wide, as her brother's rival kissed him, on the lips, passionately, as his hands traveled up and down Nozel's leg heatedly. Noelle couldn't believe this...

Her brother moaned...

Never in her lifetime of living with her brother, never ever, had she heard him make that kind of sound before. But here she is, seeing what she couldn't believe was possible.

W-wait... What..?! I... I have to be seeing things...

Noelle blinked twice, she even rubbed her eyes to see if it was real. And in fact... It was.

Noelle backed up feeling very confused, but she didn't know that there was a table with a vase on it. And yes by now I think you know what's going to happe-

C R A S H

The vase fell and broke as she bumped her hip against the table.

She saw between the crack of the door, they looked at the crack and saw someone, but they didn't know who...

"See! I TOLD you! You idiotic oaf!" Nozel said as he slapped Fuegoleon in the face with an obvious blush on his face.

Noelle didn't know what to do as her brother came closer to the door. Her feet yet again deciding for her, she sprinted for her life as she ran down the hall.

As Nozel gotten to the doors and opened them to see who was out there. But as he looked from his right to his left, he saw just the outline of someone's feet running the corner of the hallway. Nozel walked back over to Fuegoleon.

"You... Will stay here and wait till I come back. You got that?" Nozel said as he pushed a finger to Fuegoleon's chest harshly as he backed up and put his hands in the air as a, "I surrender" Move.

After he did so, Nozel tried his best to run as fast as he could in heels, hoping to catch the culprit who dared to sneak a peek inside of the room, while he was doing something that he should have never been doing.

Damn it..! My reputation is ruined now..!

{Back With Noelle}

Noelle didn't stop running until she knew she was far away, where any of them couldn't find her.

Noelle put her hands on her knees and bet over, as she caught her breath. It took 5 minutes to regain her normal breathing. Her throat was dry after breathing so hard. Her legs didn't seem to be working anymore, so she sat down and regained her composer.

As she did so, she looked around at where she was at.

She didn't know where she was at. She didn't even know that this place existed. She never saw this place before. But. It looked like it hasn't been touched in years.

It didn't seem like anyone, not even a single soul has traveled through these halls, and you could tell by the many cobwebs and spiders, and the old paint on the broken tables, and the rickety doors that could break any moment someone touched them.

Despite Noelle's legs that ached with every move, she stood up to wander around to see where she was at.

Noelle traveled down hallways, opened up doors to old bedrooms, guest rooms, bathrooms, living rooms, lounge rooms, and many more.

Noelle opened the last door from the hallway she was in and took a quick look inside. Nothing was new, it was just another guest room.

All in all, there wasn't much to explore, there was just 4 guest rooms, 2 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, 1 lounge room, and 2 living rooms, and an abandoned hot spring, with no controls as they were ripped out of the wall, and the pools where the hot water would be were empty and the paint was dried and cracked, and it also smelled horribly disgusting.

Noelle closed the door and continued to walk down the rest of the door-less hallway and turned another corner.

What she saw was, at the end of the hallway there was a pair of double doors, quite large, with gold, and silver designs on them.

Noelle got curious and walked toward the door. She got closer to the door. And soon enough, she was looking at the door handle wondering if she pulled that handle, what would be on the other side of the door.

But she was immediately stopped when she remembered why she was here.

Wait... I'm not here to be exploring! I'm here to fix things with my siblings..!

Noelle shook her head, and walked back down the empty hallway, back the way her siblings were at.

{Meanwhile With Nozel and Fuegoleon}

"This is all your fault..!" Nozel shouted at Fuegoleon as he stripped from his "Dress" and put on his regular attire for the day as Fuegoleon had his back to him, doing the same thing.

"How is this my fault? I had nothing to do with this." Fuegoleon replied while putting on his under white/tan T-shirt, and soon following it, his abnormally heavy cardigan.

"If you hadn't started that fight and struck that deal, then afterward suggested that we did whatever we did in that... Room... Then this would never have happened..! It's your god damn fault! My reputation is ruined because of you and your silly games!" Nozel finished as he put on his choker and went to get his sandals.

"Look. I didn't know that someone would sneak on us and take a look. I can't tell the future Nozel." Fuegoleon said as he tied his belt around his stomach and finished his look by putting on his boots.

In fact, Fuegoleon was right. He couldn't tell the future.

"Well, you better start trying," Nozel said as he put on his sandals and stormed out the door yet again.

Fuegoleon sighed as he picked up the suit he was wearing before this event started, and folded it nicely as he set it down on Nozel's bedside table.

"Well, that was a waste of time. So much for trying to get him to soften up a bit." Fuegoleon said as he rubbed the back of his head as he climbed out the balcony window and went back to the other side of the Silva Estate.

{Yet Again Back With Noelle}

Noelle walked the halls of the Silva Estate in search of someone, a maid, a butler, hell, even one of her siblings.

As Noelle was walking down one of the hallways about to turn the corner, something or someone, rushed by the hallway in front of her.

(If this is confusing I'll just- you know what... Here...)

📷

~~~~~~~

Noelle fell to the ground as she wondered what the hell just happened. She blinked a few times before she stood up once again.

Noelle shook her head in disbelief.

No... That couldn't be him... That can't be-

"Noelle?"

Noelle poked her head up to see her big brother, in his normal attire look at her with a raised eyebrow and a light crimson blush on his face.

Noelle yet again rubbed her eyes to see what she was seeing was true. And yet again, in fact, it was, real.

Noelle's face turned bright red as she got in a stance to run.

And she did.

As Noelle did run her head only thought of one thing,

I'M DEAD, I'M DEAD, IM DEAD!!!

Soon she found herself being wrapped up in something cold, and smooth. Her legs kept swinging as if she was still running when she was actually being lifted up from the marble floor.

And in an instant, she was looking at her big brother's eyes in terror.

"I think we need to have a little talk..."

"Ooh~! H-Hey Nozel~! Didn't see you there! How is life going for you?~" Noelle was sweating underneath her clothing as she felt his cold gaze upon her as she looked anywhere but at him.

"Enough of the pep talk. Your coming with me." Nozel said as she lost all hope of trying to escape from his magic's grasp.

"I'm screwed..." Noelle said as a ghost-like figure came from her mouth as she looked while as a ghost.

[Mini-Time skip!]

Noelle was now, sitting on the couch, accompanied by Fuegoleon and her big brother Nozel.

It was dead silent. Noelle was shaking in her seat.

"Look. Noelle. I'm sure whatever you saw was a big misunderstand-" Fuegoleon was cut off by Nozel.

"She's not an idiot like you. She has eye's you know..." Nozel glared daggers at Fuegoleon and he just sighed.

"Then you take it from here. I have no idea why I was called here in the first pl-" Fuegoleon had gotten to stand up but was grabbed by the arm and pulled down by Nozel.

"You're staying right here, and you're not going anywhere until I say so." Nozel shot daggers at Fuegoleon's figure.

Fuegoleon just sighed and crossed his arms while sitting back in the seat, closing his eyes, waiting for them to continue what they were going to talk about.

"I have no idea who let you in the first place, and if that was you at the door, you have seen nothing. Do I make myself clear?" Nozel said glaring at his little sister as she was in a different dimension at the moment in this timeline.

WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?!?! MY LIFE IS DOOMED!

Then an awkward silence fell between them, with Nozel waiting for an answer, clearly, he wasn't going to get any time soon, and Fuegoleon who was just laid back as usual, and Noelle... Going ape shit crazy as of the moment.

Noelle Couldn't focus. But it was only when Fuegoleon called out to her multiple times she awoke from her wonders.

"Uhh... Y-Yes?" Noelle spoke and Nozel sighed, thinking that would be the best answer he was going to get out from the younger one.

Nozel pressed on the bridge of his nose and asked her a question, "What are you even doing here anyway? I thought you didn't like it here..." he spoke not looking in the direction of the teenager.

"uhh... well... You see... uhh..." Noelle was sweating. No. beyond sweating. She felt like a burning volcano.

"Well?" Nozel looked at her in the eye with a questionable look on his face.

Brother Nozel is scary. I think even scarier than Captain Yami...

Noelle gulped, and took a deep breath then shouted, "THE TRUTH IS I WANT TO MAKE A DEAL WITH YOU!!!"

Nozel nearly fell off his seat, and Fuegoleon flinched heavily.

Who knew the girl could scream so loud?

After both of the older males' ears came back from the dead, Nozel asked her another question, "What kind of deal..?"

He was a bit scared. But he wouldn't admit it.

"Well..." Noelle looked around and saw servants looking their way, then responded, "I think it's better with privacy. I don't want rumors spreading..." She then looked back to the ground contemplating her existence.

Nozel shot a deathly glare at the servants signaling to stop whatever they are doing and go as far away as possible.

The servants were now on the other side of the estate.

Nozel looked back to Noelle, "Continue." He said while Fuegoleon sweatdropped.

Noelle looked up to meet her brother's gaze, she once again gulped, but this time, with fear, "The truth is, I don't want the bond we barely even have to break... I don't want to live in fear every time I have to see you or Solid and Nebra anymore. I want to have a normal family, like everyone else..."

Both males' eyes widened at her statement.

Nozel was beyond shock. Fuegoleon just smiled in disbelief.

Noelle looked at Fuegoleon and then her brother. She looked down to the floor. She didn't know what to do. How will they react? What will they think of her?

It was a long silence before someone spoke up. Guess who? It's secret. (Just read ahead)

Nozel cleared his throat before speaking, "I will notify Nebra and Solid about this matter. Until then you will have to wait for an answer. I will send you a letter to your squad's headquarters." Nozel sat up from his seat and pulled Fuegoleon by the ear.

"Ouch! Hey! What's the rush?!" Fuegoleon was dragged across the room, and up the stairs questioning Nozel.

"We, have more important matters to discuss..." Nozel growled as he pulled Fuegoleon, by the ear, even harder.

Noelle watched them bicker as they walked off into the distance. She sat there figuring out what had just happened.

Noelle blinked a few times before smiling and laughing.

Well... That's not what I had expected... But. it's a great start!

Noelle sat up with a smile on her face as she went to leave the estate. As Noelle did so, she passed by the portrait of her Mother. She stopped to look at it and smiled even brighter.

I hope your watching mother... I hope you're doing well. I know I am.

And Noelle continued to walk outside and to The Black Bulls hideout. She cant wait to tell them what had happened.

No. She really can't.

49 notes · View notes

aries-writingblog · 3 years

Text

Atlas (1)

Summary: After years of being imprisoned on the Raft, Tony negotiates freedom for his sister Tessa. When she’s free- so is her past, and it will never stop hunting her.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OC(Stark)

Chapter Word count: 1,666

Warnings: PTSD (subtle ish), trauma, torture (in later parts), suicidal behaviors and thoughts, mentions of death, character death, injury, violence, angst, and a lil bit of fluff in there

Disclaimer: Atlas is my own, original work with characters belonging to Marvel (except Tessa and Dr. Clifton). Plagiarism is not cool kids.

A/N: this is my first work Im posting to this platform and I’m really excited and nervous about it. Hope you enjoy- constructive criticism is always helpful as well!!

The Avengers Tower. Former Stark Tower. 93 floors of office space, labs- people carrying out their business. People going about their day. At the top of all of them is Tony Stark. Waiting. Waiting in silence. Typically, he isn’t one to wait on anything or anyone but today... today is different. Today is special. Finally, the silence is broken by a shrill ring of his phone. Tony snaps it up, immediately accepting the call.

“Mr. Stark? Reid Kerrings.” The man’s voice carried through the phone, introducing himself. “Listen, I hear you’re trying to to negotiate a prisoners freedom?”

“She shouldn’t even be a prisoner,” Tony grumbled before plastering on a thick business tone. “Yes, that’s what I’m trying to do here. Thing is, I have a plan that I ran by Fury and Coulson and they seem to think it’s a great idea. Only thing is- that prisoner of yours is apparently ‘dangerous’ and she’d need stipulations on if she were to be released into my care.”

Tony hated this- speaking about her as if she were a terrorist. He hated that she’d been in maximum security prisons for six years. He hated that she was on the raft now. But, if he wanted to play ball, he had to agree to the terms. And unfortunately, that was one of the terms. He’d tried it his way two years ago and it got shut down. Several times.

“Well... you’re a damn maniac- prisoner 067112 is a psycho-“

“Her name is Tessa and that’s my sister you’re talking about so if you’d like to see your job another day I’d keep quiet.” Tony snapped, clenching his jaw. The phone fell silent before Kerrings cleared his throat.

“She would have to meet with an appointed therapist three days a week. She would also have to have a check in twice a week with a parole officer. If there is any flare up of her enhancement that is not accounted for by a member of your team, she comes back here and is no longer allowed parole. She is to be on a tight leash.” Kerrings read through the conditions of the agreement that Tony and Fury had worked out. “She must agree to these terms before her release. If she does, she will be escorted to your property tomorrow at 10:00 AM. Do you agree to these statements made today?”

“Yes.” Tony felt an excited, nervous bubble form in his stomach. He was doing it. His sister was almost free.

“Excellent. The escort team will run a security check on the building and perimeter.”

“Oh, well, not to brag or anything but- it’s the Avengers Tower. I ’m pretty sure this is the best it gets in terms of security.” Tony scoffed, turning when he heard the door opening. Steve Rogers stepped into the room, intending on speaking with Tony about another comm unit. He broke his. Again. He stopped short, hearing the man on the phone.

“This woman shouldn’t even be out of her cell here- she’s dangerous, I don’t care if shes your sister or not. The power of this woman is something that should be contained. not roaming around New York on a Thursday afternoon.”

“She’s a human being. No telling what you freaks have put her through in the raft- that’s probably why she’s going insane. You don’t even allow sunlight in that dingy of a prison. You treat someone like an animal, that’s what they become. Now, if you’ll excuse me, i’m going to run my own safety diagnostics on my own tower.” Tony quickly ended the call and lifted his eyes to meet Steve’s. “Can I help you, o wise elder of the yonder village?”

“Just... a new comm piece.” Steve stepped forward and tossed the broken pieces to the desk before meeting Tony’s eyes again. “What was that all about?”

“That is a surprise for the team I’m arranging.” Tony sat down at his desk, pulling up an image of a new weapon system, one that they’d encountered a few weeks ago on a mission. “These thugs were dealing with now... they’re sophisticated. They’re playing on a new ball field. So... I’m leveling it.”

“You can’t just do that without consulting the team first.” Steve scolded, his arms crossing over his chest. “What are you doing?”

“You’ll see- tomorrow morning at ten, have the team all meet in the conference room. I’ll bring my surprise to you.” Tony grinned, feeling strangely optimistic for once. Steve only sighed, knowing he wasn’t going to get anywhere with Tony.

“Fine- I’ll call a meeting.” Steve spun on his heel and marched out of the office. Tony sank further into his chair, spinning it to look out of the window.

“Friday, make sure floor ninety two is fireproof.” Tony called out, a twinge of doubt forming in his mind. He was quick to shake the thought from his mind, funneling all his belief into his sister. It had to work. For her sake.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sitting at the oval conference table, Bucky felt an impatience he hadn’t felt in months. Steve had let it slip- more like Bucky could tell there was something and kept prying- that Tony was on the phone with someone, talking about a prisoner. A woman prisoner. Bucky wasn’t sure what to expect and that caused a great deal of anxiety to pit in his chest. He didn’t like being kept in the dark.

Beside him, Steve sighed heavily, leaning his head on his fist, resting on the table. Being roommates with the guy, he knew Steve hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep last night, like most nights. He knew this because he himself was also up, roaming the apartment, watching tv and staring off the balcony.

“Anyone know what this surprise it stark mentioned?” Natasha pressed, becoming quite impatient herself. They’d all been sitting at the table for fifteen minutes. Waiting.

“No clue- I hope it’s better than the last surprise- the one that exploded while in use on the field.” Sam commented, scrolling absentmindedly on his phone.

Finally, the door to the room burst open, revealing Tony Stark marching in with purpose. Behind him, a woman in heavy chains, with metal cylinders encasing her hands, was being escorted in by two men in fire retardant kevlar uniforms. Her head was bowed, dark brown hair shifting to cover her face. Bucky sat up, seeing the woman marched in, heavily restrained. Tony clapped his hands, rubbing them together afterward. He gave the crowd a large smile and nodded once.

“Surprise, Avengers! This is my favorite sister, Tessa Stark, Tess, this is everyone. I’m sure you were given the brochure.” He turned to the two men. “You fulfilled your duties, you can go now.”

The men unclipped the chains and then pressed their thumbprints to the pads on the cylinders. They released with a hiss of steam, Tessa rubbing her wrists once they were free.

“I know you.” Sam’s voice broke into the conversation. Tessa’s jaw clenched and her eyes stared into the floor. She swallowed harshly, keeping her back ramrod straight and her hands in front of her. “Stark... oh, shit- where have I seen you...”

“Anyways folks, she is here to help out on our new group of rogues... she has a, ah... particular set of skills. Mostly explosives and fire. And since that’s what we’re dealing with, I’ve brought in the big guns.” Tony explained, settling in his chair and gesturing for Tessa to take a seat as well. She seemed wary of sitting beside Wanda but did it anyways, sitting barely on the edge of the chair. “Now, we’re gonna need a new plan of attack with-“

“Atlas!” Sam snapped his fingers, pointing at her. Tessa stiffened, caught off guard by the level of his voice. “That’s it! Code Name Atlas, Operation Dry Sands! You served in the army- I’m Sam Wilson, I flew with-“

“Riley...” her voice was raspy and low, rusted with disuse. “I remember you.” Bucky watched as she seemingly tried to melt into the chair, trying to hide herself.

“You were baller, man! She cleared missions like it was nothing!” Sam praised her, excited to finally meet her. “There was talk of her all over camps- everywhere!”

“Atlas?” Natasha asked, a brow raising. “That’s a peculiar code name- sounds... specific.” Tessa didn’t respond, keeping her head low. When the room fell silent, Steve took control.

“Right, well, Tony you mentioned a new plan of attack?” He expertly guided the topic over to a new path. Bucky couldn’t help but let his attention drift back to the new mystery in the room. He allowed his eyes to scan over her, stopping on her forearm where there was black ink. A tattoo of the army symbol, numbers below it. Maybe her squad number? Her arm shifted and Bucky looked up, meeting her eyes. He knew he’d fucked up.

Her dark brown eyes smoldered- a red tint glowing under her irises. Her lips were pulled into a scowl. He quickly lowered his gaze, catching a glance of her veins in her arms. glowing lightly orange. Bucky clenched his jaw and leaned back into his chair, a fierce scowl building on his lips. He didn’t like this woman, She seemed... violent. closed off. Hell- maybe she was just too much like him. And maybe he shouldn’t make a snap assumption but for some reason...

“Alright well, that’s all for now, Tessa- welcome to the team, please make yourself comfortable and if there’s anything we can do to help out- let us know.” Steve nodded as he stood up.

Tessa only nodded, stood up and spun on her heel- leaving the room without a word. Everyone glanced to Tony. He only shrugged and stood up.

“I’m gonna go make her feel at home- just got out of prison and all, see you around.” Tony gave a small wave over his shoulder and walked out, trailing out after his explosive sister.

#james buchanan bucky barnes #bucky x oc #bucky barnes #james barnes #Bucky barnes x oc

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jamaisjoons · 4 years

Note

(1/7) I'm sorry this is going to be super long, so if you actually answer this I'll be so thankful lol... idk how much experience you have in relationships and sexuality and whatnot but I just really need to ask someone about this and you seem super friendly and nice so I wanted to ask you, and if anyone else reading this ask wants to give me advice I'd love and appreciate that as well - I'll keep an eye on the comments 💜 So I've been in a relationship for over 5 years now. I want to preface

this ask is incredibly long and if therefore the rest, along with my response, is under the read more!

(2/7) this with saying that I'm not unhappy with my relationship overall. And I honestly do prioritize emotional connection over physical, but this is something that's been on my mind recently, especially since I started getting into reading fanfics and learning more about how diverse and explorative someone can be with sexuality. My current boyfriend was my first serious relationship so I never experienced anyone else sexually. And I know stories romanticize, dramatize, and exaggerate things

(3/7) so I don't expect that I should be able to experience my sex life exactly as its portrayed in the fictions I read. I've been generally content with my sex life with my boyfriend, while maybe not fully satisfied but content. But lately its been bothering me. I've always had a higher drive than him so I don't mind needing to... take care of myself most days and just have sex whenever he's up for it. (Although he gets whiny if I'm not up for it the day he is, which I guess is partly fair

(4/7) since there's only like 2 days a month I'm not horny lol). And I do tend to take quite a bit longer to uh... well, cum, than he does as well so I've never really taken any offense to him not trying super hard to get me there. Lately it has been bothering me though... he does give effort to it most of the time but gives up because he has trouble getting the right spots and/or it takes a long time (and yeah I chalk that up to female anatomy being more complicated than male so while it is

(5/7) disappointing, I excuse it because of that) But it bothers me because I feel like I try to push myself more to figure out what he likes and try different things out of my comfort zone more than he does for me. (i.e. I've recently started trying to get used to anal even though so far its painful and I haven't found pleasure in it yet because it's something he's always wanted to do). He also loves blow jobs and always wants one - kind of expects it and gets disappointed if I tell him I don't

(6/7) want to that day and sometimes (most of the time) tries to push it, even though I don't push him if he doesn't want to go down on me. I've more or less given up on trying to cum when we have sex, just kind of settled on enjoying it for a while and helping him and then finishing myself off after. I'll sometimes ask him to help afterwards, and he'll help with some stimulation like nipple play and stuff for a bit, but if he's already gotten his release I feel like he treats it like a chore.

(7/7) It's just been bothering me more and more lately. I'm worried about talking to him about it because idk if I'm just being needy or if he'll be offended or upset. And I don't really know how to fix it anyway so idk how to bring it up or any solutions to offer but since its been bothering me more I don't want to just leave it as it is. Do you have any advice for me? Also I'm SO SORRY for the novel and going probably too detailed into my sex life... I hope this wasn't bothersome or annoying!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

i’m gonna preface this with im not a professional and any advice i give is based on my own feelings and thoughts and based on experiences of my own and they won’t be the same as yours! please take caution reading/heeding any of my advice because really i’m not any different to you and i have no real qualifications for giving out sexual advice.

so honestly speaking, i have a fear of commitment and trust issues and as a result i don’t very often partake in committed relationships (i’ve been willingly and happily single for YEARS) - and my previous ones weren’t all that good either (my last two ended with cheating rip). but i’m happy to help in any way possible and it means a lot that you feel like you can speak to me about this!

Okay so, my first point is that sex is honestly diverse and yes its always mindblowing in fics, but in reality its not always the case. sometimes sex is bland, sometimes its really good, and sometimes you don’t really enjoy yourself (not in a bad or nonconsensual way, but more it doesn’t leave you as fulfilled as it could and it just feels,,,, meh for a lack of better word for it). that being said, considering you’ve been in a relationship for a long time and it’s your first and (i assume only? sexual partner) i can potentially see why its just been a case of contentment and not real fulfilment - especially, since it seems you haven’t really been communicating and taking each other’s feelings into consideration? well him more so than you.

Side point, he really shouldn’t be whining if you don’t want to have sex but as long as he’s not pressuring you into anything its fine - people tend to whine (i know i do sometimes too)

Okay so in terms of cumming, not everyone takes the same amount of time to cum. some really need lots of stimulation and stuff in order to really cum and others cum really quickly. its an individual thing - but you definitely seem like the former. That being said, just because you take longer to cum and the female anatomy is more complex (really its not t H A T hard) doesn’t mean he should give up - you work hard for him to make him cum and he should do the same for you. especially since you’ve been together for so long.

A lot of this seems that you’re actively trying more than he is (you’re not obligated to give him oral, especially if he doesn’t reciprocate and he definitely shouldn’t push it). In terms of anal, the human body is different from person to person and not everyone is wired the same. just because someone else enjoys anal doesn’t mean you will, and if it’s painful and you’re not enjoying it, perhaps it’s best to tell him to stop because you get nothing out of it. if he loves you, he’ll make the sacrifice even if he enjoys it (like you’ve been doing for him this entire time). If he’s cummed and he’s not actively wanting to make you cum - you need to call him out on it because it's not fair for him to orgasm and for you to work for it yourself. it’s downright selfish and bad sexual practices and more than anything its not okay and its not a healthy sex life.

I think my best advice right now is to actually talk and communicate with him. A good, healthy sexual relationship that satisfies both parties, can only and will only ever be possible through open communication. you’ve been together five years and you’ve said you’re happy with your relationship overall - which means that you’ve known each other long enough to openly communicate with each other about your likes/dislikes/things you want to try/how they can help. Thats the blanket one, but here are some things you can talk to him about:

In terms of making you cum - you know your body better than anyone else, so perhaps showing him what places are your erogenous zones may be an effective way. If you feel comfortable, sit in front of him and masturbate - show him what gets you off. Sometimes even have him participate - direct his hands to where you want him, tell him when something feels good, when something doesn’t feel so good. but communicate

Tell him that you always try for him and it’s upsetting and makes you feel unsatisfied when he doesn’t put in the same enthusiasm. in sexual relationships, there is compromise and sometimes you do things you don’t necessarily enjoy just as an act of love and care (one of my irls hated giving her boyfriend blowjobs but she used to do it because he enjoyed them and that's okay because she was willing to do it out of love. there were also things he compromised for her like how he never enjoyed wearing condoms because it didn’t feel as good but she didn’t want to go on birth control so he accepted it). There are clearly things you are willing to compromise on (anal) and so he should be doing the same for you

You’re both different people and have different sexual interests and what feels good for you. You should both put in effort to explore these together. Have an actual conversation with him - and if he doesn’t take your feelings, if he starts getting upset or offended, then that speaks more for him. but if he loves you, if he’s a good partner and boyfriend, he will actively listen to you and your feelings and try and understand them. without communication sex and relationships are nothing and you cannot be afraid to speak to him or not speak to him for fear of him reacting negatively.

also if he does reactively, maybe it’s worth considering if this relationship is worth going on with. sometimes people stay with each other because it’s all they know, because they’ve been together for a long time and they fear starting fresh. but that is not healthy. if something isn’t working, no matter how much time and effort you’ve put into it, it’s not worth staying and being unhappy and the best thing you can do is gather the courage to get up, leave and move on and find happiness somewhere else.

i think ? i’ve got most of my points across, but if there’s anything you need clarification on, please do feel free to message me again! but please remember my earlier disclaimer: i am in no way shape or form a professional and i have no qualifications in order to give you advice. these are just my thoughts/opinions/how i see things!!

anyway, i hope this helped! i’m so sorry it took so long to get back to you!

#solar feral asks #solar sex ed #asks #the nameless

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nostallgias · 4 years

Text

☆ . * ( kristine froseth, cis female, she / her ) hey, look !! indigo ‘indie’ dahl aka @nostalgias is online and ready to write another anonymous post on the broken hearts club. rumor has it they’re here because she ran away from her hometown to escape her family and ex lover. out in the real world she is a musician / bartender. the 22 year old is known for being flighty & impetuous but make up for it by being vivacious & determined. if they were to describe themselves they’d say they’re chipped nail polish, lipstick stains on cigarettes, driving with the window down and their favorite song is gold dust woman by fleetwood mac.

hello everyone, i’m so happy 2 b in this rp !!! my name is diana, i’m twenty yrs old, a libra, and reside in the est timezone. some quick facts abt me ... i am a girl group stan and lana del rey enthusiast. i also luv cats. anyway, enough abt me, u can learn abt my muse indigo under the cut !!! my discord is missing blackpink hours#5522 so pls hit me up there or in the im’s for plots !! i cannot wait to get started <3 tw: briefly mentions alcoholism & drugs

☆ . * 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒔 !

full name : indigo dahl

nickname(s) : indie

zodiac : sagittarius sun, gemini moon ( click )

sexuality : bisexual

alignment : chaotic good

pinterest : click

☆ . * 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅 !

indie grew up in a small town where everyone knows everyone. she was restless and curious, but there wasn’t much to do in a town that small

her parents were really big on music, so there was always something playing in the household. it’s safe to say music took over her life. she started to learn guitar, then later bass

but sadly her dad left them when she was still young. she wanted him to take her with him, so she could finally get out of that stupid town, but he left her with her mother and never looked back :/

indie and her mom didn’t get along too well. she basically planned indie’s entire life out, down to who she should marry. after her father left them, her mom wasn’t rly able to cope with it too well and she kinda turned to drinking, and the music that was always playing stopped :(

indie spent her middle and high school years taking care of her mom, who was too drunk to function at all times. she couldn’t keep a job, which, was fine at first because indie’s grandparents ( her mother’s parents ) were fairly well off, and they could live off of them

that was until her grandparent’s cut them off after finally noticing their daughter was an alcoholic. so, they were pretty much left with no source of income

indie started working as soon as she was old enough. she worked two jobs in high school, which didn’t leave her much time to focus on school. she never cared for school anyway, her focus was always music, but she didn’t even have much time for that anymore

her mother seemed to have a new boyfriend every week, men who always acted like they were here to say. all of them tried to control indie, but she resented every single one of them. she could see through the lies

she spent most of her time away from home, she didn’t even like sleeping there. it didn’t feel like home anymore, and it hadn’t for a long time

one day, one of her mother’s boyfriends actually stuck around. indie just kept waiting and waiting for the day he’d leave, but he never did. her mother remarried

after remarrying, her mother kinda got her life back on track again. she immediately went back to trying to control indie again. indie absolutely hated it, but she was happy to see her mother in a good place again, so she tried to fit the mold

indie barely graduated high school and never went to college. she continued working for the next few years, saving up money and working on music

she started dating the guy her mother chose for her. it was okay at first, but the spark was always missing. the longer she was with him though, she began to realize that he wanted to stay in that stupid little town forever, and the idea of spending the rest of her life there terrified her so much she decided to runaway

so, she packed all her things and ran away in the middle of the night. she drove through the night to find her father, but when she found him, she learned he had remarried and started a new family

deep down, she always knew he didn’t want her, otherwise he would’ve made an effort over the years. but she really had to see it to believe it

and that’s how she found her way to chicago. she never told her mother where she went, but she knew she was looking for her and so was her ex

her grandparent’s send her money every once in a while, and although they aren’t close, they understand why she ran away and want her to have the chance to start fresh

she stumbled across the forum one day and decided to join it, because she was starting to feel a little lost and it has helped her a lot

☆ . * 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚 !

indie is extremely extroverted. she is a social butterfly and will befriend literally anyone. the tricky part is getting close to her, though. she tends to keep her emotions to herself. she presents a version of herself to the world, one who is always happy and alive because she thinks that’s the only version of her that people will like

she has such a curious soul !! all she wants to do is explore and experience new things, so she’s always down for an adventure. she loves a good party because she loves to be around people. she’s a social drinker and drug user ( except for weed, which she smokes a lot )

indie doesn’t have any idea about what love is, but she knows she wants it. she wants a great, interesting, devoted love, but is having trouble finding it. so she tends to have a lot of lovers, but they mostly end up being casual. she gets bored easily, so if it isn’t exciting at all times, she kinda dips akjsdhsdjhk it’s her fear of abandonment

she is obsessed with the 70′s, from the music to the aesthetics. stevie nicks is her inspiration. she loves music of all eras, though. she loves thrifting, and her style is heavily influenced by 70′s fashion

she can be pretty spontaneous, but also reckless. she wants everything in life to be an adventure, so it has gotten her into trouble in the past

hates authority figures, literally she has so much trouble with respecting authority now because she feels like she wasted her entire life doing that for people who didn’t respect her

has a hard time taking things seriously, except for music because that is her entire life

☆ . * 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 !

party buddies - they always go to parties together. maybe they don’t see each other outside of parties, maybe they met at a party and became close friends afterwards

drinking / smoking buddies - someone she can drink or smoke with. maybe they have a more casual friendship, but anytime they hang out, they share some interesting conversations

confidant - someone who confides in her or someone she confides in, or they confide in each other. they don’t necessarily have to be the closest friends ever, but they get along, trust each other, and maybe they talk more in private

frenemies - they’re friends, but maybe they’re always trying to one up each other. they might gossip behind each other’s backs. sometimes they get along perfectly well, but maybe sometimes they get into stupid fights

protective friends - friends who feel extremely protective over one another. indie will literally fight anyone who hurts them

sibling-like friendship - indie is an only child, so i would love for her to have someone she sees like a sibling. they’re there for each other, look out for one another and always have each other’s backs

dynamic duo / best friend - ride or dies. platonic soulmates !! this person is probably the closest friend she has and actually knows her well ! a power duo

partner in crime - someone who always goes along with her antics. someone who she bounces off of and they do dumb / fun shit together !!! her adventure buddy

online friends - her favorite person on the forum. she is always interacting with them and is literally always the first to comment on their posts or something. maybe they confide in each other

bandmates - if your muse sings, plays guitar, bass, drums or keyboard, they can be in a band !!! indie plays guitar, bass, and also sings so she can do whichever of these is needed !! she also likes to compose music, but with bandmates they will collaborate and make stuff together of course

groupie love - i didn’t know what to call this plot so pls ignore the name, i went for a lana del rey song title aksdhsdjkh but basically maybe ur muse was there at one of the little gigs she played and they became acquainted after that !!! this can be romantic or platonic, we can plot it however. but maybe they keep going to her shows and she’s always happy to see them

flirtationship - they flirt constantly, but nothing serious has come out of their flirting. maybe they have good chemistry, but haven’t really tried to explore it further

ex-fling - maybe they ended things more recently, or maybe they ended things a few months or a year ago. they could have ended on good or bad terms. maybe someone or both of them still have feelings, or maybe they’re just friends or don’t talk now

current fling / friends w benefits - someone she is currently seeing. could be no strings attached, or there could b some feelings there. maybe they don’t want to make it anything serious, or maybe they’re ready to take it to the next level. maybe one person is ready to go further, and the other isn’t

requited / unrequited crush - maybe she has a crush on ur muse, whether it’s a deep crush or a more surface level crush. OR ur muse could have a crush on her and maybe she’s oblivious to it !!! maybe our muses have crushes on each other !!! maybe it isn’t super serious, or maybe it is

will they, won’t they - there’s feelings between them, but they haven’t made the plunge to pursue whatever they have. longing, yearning, lingering glances

take care - someone who looks after her when she parties a little too hard !!! someone she trusts who keeps her out of trouble when she’s under the influence and feeling too reckless for her own good

enemies w/ benefits - there was always underlying tension between them, even though they couldn’t really stand each other. maybe they hooked up at a party and now, despite their personal feelings towards each other, they still continue to hook up

cyber sex - once again, i didnt kno what to title this so i went for a doja cat song AJKSDSJKH but basically someone on the forum she has a crush on. i think it’s funny because she has noooo idea who they are irl but maybe they connect super well online

ex-friends - someone she used to consider a best / close friend, but they had a falling out for whatever reason n maybe they strongly dislike each other now. maybe they want to re-kindle their friendship but don’t know how

dealer - someone she buys drugs from, they could be friends or it’s strictly business

bad influence - someone indie is a bad influence on. she maybe influences them to party, drink or do drugs, or do stupid reckless things with her

good influence - someone that is a good influence on her and gets her to keep her act together. she has trouble caring about anything that isn’t music related, so this person can keep her on track

roommates - one to two people that she lives with !!! they can get along, or maybe they don’t vibe super well. but if they do get along they can do cute stuff like bake and watch movies together

coworkers - indie is a bartender, so she can work at the bar or restaurant that your muse works at

meet me at the bar - someone who frequents her job a lot. maybe they’re her favorite customer and she loves whenever they come. we can plot this out however !!!

congratulations !!! you have finally reached the end of my unnecessarily long intro aksdjhsdjhk i would like to thank u for reading and apologize for all the rambling i did <3 anyway i would luv to plot, so i’ll send message u asap if u like this post !!! we can definitely plot over im’s, but i am partial to discord if u wanna add me there: missing blackpink hours#5522

#hearts:intro #☆ . * 𝒈𝒐 𝒑𝒊𝒔𝒔 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍 ╱ ooc.#this kinda got long.....i'm so sorry i rly do not deserve rights #pls plot with me anyway <3

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doctorsorders-deathboy · 6 years

Text

Of All the Nights

lmfao i guess i’m back from the dead bitches. (this wip has existed for so long. i could not tell you why i decided to finally finish it tonight but AAA im so excited to be posting a fic again omg) amusingly, my last fic also involved late night baking. i hope you enjoy!!

Word Count: 1941

Read on ao3

It was 3:07am on the third of January and Nico di Angelo was dressed in nothing but a too-small fuchsia bathrobe, soaking wet, and about ready to commit bloody murder.

It was very possible, he thought, that the bathrobe contributed to his fury.

This was the kind of disaster that he’d recount to Jason later, with countless creative swears thrown in, though as he stood shivering and fuming outside a stranger’s apartment, it occurred to him that this might be one of those stories that would get more laughs from Jason than shared anger. Asshole.

Speaking of assholes, the door finally opened, revealing a very flustered looking blond man around Nico’s age. For a moment, Nico almost backed off on his prepared rant upon seeing how miserable the blond looked, but when another draft of winter air hit Nico’s still dripping legs, his scowl only deepened.

“What the hell were you doing baking at fucking three in the morning?”

The blond blinked once, twice, three times. He opened his mouth, closed it, and Nico was about ready to break his damn nose when he finally said, “Sorry… Do I know you?”

Nico had never had height to his advantage but hell if he didn’t know how to make himself intimidating. The blond shrunk back as Nico reared himself up to hiss, “Luckily, I was able to make it through 21 years of my life without meeting you before you had to go and nearly set the damn building on fire because of your insomniac cooking. Do you have any idea what kind of night you’ve caused for me? Did it ever occur to you that maybe you should save your incompetence for the waking hours when most people will be out at work anyways? Honestly, what kind of bullshit did you pull to make the fucking fire alarms go off? Did you pull this shit on purpose? Is this some kind of a joke to you?”

The man took much too long to answer again and Nico was collecting every bit of self control he had to keep himself from wringing this jackass’s neck when the response finally came. “Why are you wet?”

Nico must have reared up spectacularly that time because the man quickly amended, “I mean―! I’m sorry, that’s not the point here, um…” He peeked out of his apartment and looked around the deserted hallway. “If you want to yell at me, can you do it in here? I don’t want to wake anyone else up.”

“Like hell, you care,” Nico grumbled but willingly stepped into the man’s apartment. In hindsight, this really wasn’t Nico’s wisest move considering this guy was a stranger and Nico was nearly naked, but the blond seemed about as threatening as a frightened mouse. A tall, blue-eyed, frightened mouse who somehow had a tan in the dead of winter.

“Sorry, who are you again?” the blond asked, closing the door behind a fuming Nico.

“Your pissed off neighbor from two floors up,” Nico snapped. Unfortunately, the blond visibly cringed, looking like a kicked puppy, so Nico muttered, “Nico. Di Angelo,” as a reconcilement.

“Will Solace,” the blond introduced himself in return. He held his hand out to shake but quickly drew it back when it was clear that Nico’s arms were not moving from where they were crossed against his chest.

They stood in uncomfortable silence until Nico repeated, “How the hell did you set off the fucking alarm?” in as dangerous a voice as he could manage.

“I, well…”

Nico shot another fierce glare and Will didn’t waste anymore time in getting to the point.

“I was making pizzelles for my sister’s birthday and the iron must’ve broken because it was making a lot of smoke. It set off the fire alarm which went off throughout the whole building and… yeah. It was a mess. I’m really sorry. I feel awful.”

Nico didn’t doubt Will’s sincerity. The poor man was hunched in on himself with bags under his hands and his hands firmly stuck in his pockets. That didn’t make his story any less ridiculous, though.

“I’m sorry,” Nico said without a hint of remorse, “I think I missed something. Why the hell were you baking at three in the fucking morning?”

Will frowned at him. “You curse a lot,” he muttered.

“Why the fuck were you―”

“I was working until 1am!” Will exclaimed, which was the first indignant comment he’d made. “And I have classes at ten in the morning, but I promised to meet my friend for coffee at eight so I figured I’d just power through and bake when I got home but―” His voice broke off.

Nico’s cheeks tinted with embarrassment upon seeing Will’s face crumple a bit. God, please don’t cry. Nico hadn’t ever been very good at comforting crying people.

“Sorry,” Will said, his voice hoarse. “I should probably… I’m just going to clean up and go to bed. No more smoke. I promise.” He attempted a laugh to lighten the mood but it came out strangled and pitiful.

Nico was about ready to leave Will to mope when he spotted a picture hanging on the wall across the room. Will stood in the center, looking much happier than he did standing in front of Nico. The Will in the picture had a smile that made you want to smile back and had each arm thrown around a friend, pulling them close. He looked jubilant; the kind of person who you felt certain you could approach without fear. It was a painful contrast to the melancholy man Nico had met.

It felt very wrong to Nico that someone so happy could look so broken.

“What about your sister’s pizzelles?” Nico asked quietly.

Will shrugged. “I’ll have to buy her something on my way over tomorrow. Hopefully she won’t mind. I just feel bad, I promised I’d bake for her. Those pizzelles are her favorite.”

Nico considered this for a moment before internally rolling his eyes at himself. “Then we’d better make some pizzelles, shouldn’t we?”

~*~

“You still never explained to me why you showed up at my apartment soaked and nearly naked,” Will said conversationally, as he stood washing the dishes while Nico carefully arranged pizzelles in a tin.

Nico cleared his throat. “That’s a conversation starter I haven’t heard before.”

“Seriously,” Will said, grinning. “Were you swimming?”

“Why would I be swimming in the dead of night?”

Will shrugged. “I dunno, that’s why I was asking.”

“I wasn’t swimming.” Nico put the lid on the tin and turned around, pulling his fuchsia bathrobe tighter around himself.

Will turned towards him, too, eyebrows still raised.

Nico exhaled very slowly before admitting, “I was taking a shower.”

Will blinked. “At… three in the morning?” When Nico’s expression darkened, he added quickly, “Not that I’m judging! Obviously. I’ve taken many middle-of-the-night showers. I just… So, are you a med student, too, or what?”

Nico scuffed his shoe across the floor and grumbled, “No.”

“Okay.”

Silence.

“So…”

“I had a dream,” Nico blurted, probably due to a combination of his lack of sleep and the way Will’s eyes had this kind, dreamy quality to them that made you feel like you could tell him anything.

Will’s eyebrows furrowed. “You showered because you had a dream?” His eyebrows shot upward. “Oh.”

“Not like that!” Nico said quickly, heat rushing to his face. “No, oh my god, no, that’s not…” And then he was laughing harder than he had in a long time and Will was laughing with him and he hardly felt embarrassed anymore. “No, it was a nightmare, not…” Nico tried to catch his breath. “Not that.”

Will tsked. “That’s a shame.”

“Yes, very disappointing.”

“So the shower was, what, to calm you down?”

Nico shifted, his mind flashing back to the dark, blurred images of a few hours ago. Bianca’s smile melting off her face, his mother screaming for him, a packed, dark room where people were crying and disappearing one by one, and he was next, he was next―

“Yeah,” he said, clearing his throat. “Basically.”

When he’d woken up, he’d had to spend what felt like eternity reminding himself how to breathe again. He’d been having more nightmares recently, ones so bad that he almost considered Jason’s advice to start seeing a therapist. I mean, shit, he knew college wasn’t doing much for him in the mental health department but things hadn’t been this bad since he was thirteen.

He tried different things each night to get himself back to sleep―whatever it took. One night he didn’t manage to properly get back to sleep afterwards; he just lay in his bed with the lights on and music playing, counting the beats of his heart as he dozed on and off. That night, after waking up, he couldn’t stand his own skin, couldn’t stand being trapped in his body any longer, couldn’t stand the way he could still feel cold, dead hands from the dream clutching him―

So he’d gotten in the fucking shower and made the water as hot as he could stand and then the goddamn fire alarm went off. Jesus Christ, of all the fucking nights.

“Must have been a pretty bad dream,” Will murmured.

Nico shrugged. “Yeah, I mean… Yeah. I was… Sorry for being so harsh on you earlier. I was still kind of shaken up, I guess. I probably wouldn’t have marched to your apartment for a stupid mistake on a normal night.”

Will grinned. “Probably?”

“Maybe.”

Will laughed. “Oh, here!” He handed a small tin to Nico. “You helped make em, you should get some for yourself.”

Nico opened it to see that it was crammed full of pizzelles. “Thank you.”

“Yeah, of course. I love the bathrobe, by the way―I never said.”

“Oh god.” Nico groaned. “It’s not mine.”

“Your girlfriend’s?”

And then Nico was laughing again. Christ, that was twice in one night. Something must be wrong with him. “Yeah, no. It’s my sister’s.”

“Ah. Well, for the record, my next guess was that it was your boyfriend’s. I don’t mean to assume anything.”

Nico sucked his teeth. “I don’t have one of those, I’m afraid.”

“That’s a shame.”

“Yes, very disappointing.”

Will smiled softly to himself and Nico noticed that he had a dimple on one side of his face. God. Nico really wished he smiled more.

“Well, thanks so much for the baking help. You really didn’t have to,” Will said as they walked towards the door.

Nico waved him off. “I’m the one who came to your apartment in an angry rage. I needed to make it up to you somehow.”

“Do you frequently get in angry rages?”

“Yes, but mostly just for the aesthetic. Usually I’m too tired to be properly angry.”

Will laughed.

“I’ll return the tin to you, by the way,” Nico added.

“Will you be showing up at my apartment nearly naked again?”

Nico flushed and laughed nervously. “No, I promise I will be fully clothed.”

Will hummed disappointedly. “Well, I suppose I can’t have everything,” he murmured. He smiled then, full and warm, and his eyes crinkled at the corners, and yes, Nico definitely wanted to see that smile more. “Goodnight, Nico,” he said cheerfully.

The door shut before Nico could figure out a way to respond. He stood there staring at it for a solid thirty seconds before turning and heading back to his apartment. When he got back, he decided, he’d put the pizzelles in a different container. He wanted to return the tin to Will Solace as soon as he could get away with.

#solangelo #will solace #nico di angelo #fanfiction #fanfic #pjo #hoo #toa #fluff #request #anon #i cant believe im actually posting a fic in 2018 omg

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diegoismyson · 7 years

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Oh my god, that fictional world anon was a genius. I'm a huge slut for two things: dio and real people in fictional worlds. Tonight I will combine both of them. Headcanons or scenario for pb dio straight up being smittened with this mysterious new peasant girl that starts working at the mansion and as the years go by he begins to notice strange things about her. Why is she so friendly towards Jonathan but cold towards him? Wow she knows a lot of stuff before it happens? (1/2)

(2/3) As the years go by, he just starts to really fall in love with her? And she starts to open up to him bit by bit? She stops being tense around him and doesn’t straight up reject his advances but doesn’t accept them either? Then after several years and Mr. Joestar is being poisoned and the Mask is found, everything changes. She KNOWS and Dio doesn’t know how she knows but too late fate takes it’s course- She rejects him in full even though they definitely love each other

(3/3 last one for real) Its the “final battle” (of course she knows it isn’t) and she decides to go to Dio’s castle because she knows this ISN’T the end and she has to do SOMETHING. To make sure she still has some influence over the story. Dio let’s her in. Does she tell him the truth?

i think im gonna try my hand at a scenario bc this is deserving of that and i feel like writing tonight 👀

under the cut purely for length

~mod blake

When a new servant shows up to help tend to the joestar estate, Dio thinks nothing of it; they get new servants every now and then but it’s still nothing to bat an eye at. However, Dio notices that this new servant acts strangely, she is all sunshine towards Jonathan but to Dio, she turns a cold shoulder. Sure, the servants are always kind to Jonathan since he’s nearly impossible to dislike but Dio is used to others being vulnerable to his charms. Because of this, Dio starts to develop an interest in such a unique person. Someone that can see through him is so strange, Dio even has both Joestars fooled yet this simple servant girl knows better.

He starts following her around and asking her questions, under the guise of wanting to learn more about her but the girl just gives him clipped answers and almost sneers at Dio. This is one of the most frustrating things, having to appear kind while wanting to snap; how dare she disrespect him, Dio?!

As the years go on and Dio starts sneaking around, she always knows exactly where to find him and Dio is further intrigued by this, why does she know so much? Once she had even chastised Dio for something he was about to do which mystified him to no end. She makes him want to learn more about her, his curiosity getting the better of him as he approaches her time and time again.

Today, the servant is fixing some books Jonathan had left out in the library when Dio says, “only a witch would know half as much as you do yet someone so refined as yourself could never be one, despite your enchanting looks. Care to share how you seem to be so omniscient?”

She stares at Dio, as though picking him apart before replying, “and why would you care about it?” in her typical harsh tone. She continues doing her work which annoys Dio, someone so lowly should know their place and give him their full attention.

He puts on his most charming smile, “come now, there’s no need to be so cruel. I have shown nothing but kindness to you, have I not? The last thing I’d want is to offend you so tell me if i do so.”

“Your lies amuse me but I’d appreciate a little more honesty from you,” she scoffs as she finishes cleaning and begins to walk away.

Taken aback, Dio goes after her and continues asking the servant questions of why she believed he was lying, wanting to pry the answers out even more than before.

Time passes and the two grow closer but she never tells Dio how she knows so much. Eventually, she does begin relaxing, her eyes softening when she turns to Dio and her voice taking on a gentler tone as well. Dio finds that her allure has only increased as they age and begins flirting with her in earnest, telling her that he’d give her his world for only a kiss. She’d always laugh and say maybe one day but Dio was taken with her and the feeling of warmth was new to his heart, which had been neglected for so long.

It’s when Dio is poisoning George Joestar that she begins to get distant once more. She seemingly avoids him, and when Dio turns his head only to find her staring at him with apparent disgust, he feels dread weighing down on him. There’s no way she could know what was happening, Dio had covered his tracks all too well but the seed of doubt had been planted in him and he was worried; he was worried that she would tell someone, he was worried of what she knew, but most of all he was worried that he was going to lose the love he had worked so hard to acquire.

Then the day comes, that fateful day where Jonathan would finally catch on to Dio’s doings, but he doesn’t know that. The servant girl he so loves does though and pulls Dio aside, with eyes wide.

“Dio, I can’t take this anymore, I can’t stand by and let you do something as despicable as this,” she gestures to the medicine he’s taking up to his adoptive father and Dio realizes exactly what she means. Once more she knows of this, just as she had known countless other times of everything Dio and Jonathan had gotten up to in their youth.

But Dio keeps his composure and knits his eyebrows together, “but I’m doing my best to tend to the man that saved me from poverty. These doctors nowadays are only after money so we have to help Mr. Joestar as best we can.”

“Cut it out. I know you’re poisoning him just like you did your own father. You have to stop this now or I can’t promise anything’s going to work out.”

For once in his life, Dio is at a loss for words and simply says “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Then I’m sorry but I can’t do this anymore. I will never love you if you can’t change.”

Upon hearing these words, Dio feels something in him tear and pauses for a second. This was what he feared most and now what can he do? Ultimately, he brushes the servant girl off and continues on silently as though no words had been spoken at all.

It would only be later that Dio learns of the letter she had tucked away to expose Dio to Jonathan and thus extend George’s life even if only by a little bit. After this, all contact with Dio’s former love is cut off. He can’t stand it and so only becomes more merciless in an effort to keep his hurt at bay.

Later, as Dio is preparing to have his final fight and face his dearest brother Jojo in battle for the last time, he hears a commotion at the front of his castle and goes to investigate. The mindless vampires he creates are good guards but they’re absolute halfwits when it comes to anything that takes more than two brain cells.

When he arrives, Dio is greeted with a sight he never thought he’d get to cherish again. The servant girl who had won Dio’s heart is standing there, practically daring his guards to come forward as she stares them down.

He laughs, half amused and half in disbelief, “so, you couldn’t resist someone so perfect as I, Dio?”

She rolls her eyes but still gives him a smile, “I came to… talk. That is all.”

“You came many days’ ride and through my vampires just to talk? It must be something dire in that case,” Dio grins with all the warmth of a snake, “follow me to my quarters then and leave these creatures behind.” And with that, Dio turns and confidently strides back to the room he came from as she follows.

Along the way, Dio feels his heart begin to race, he hadn’t exactly been subtle about where he hid but once again this seemingly simple girl surprised Dio with how easily she navigated and got to him. Had it not been for the hordes of his undead, she could very well have waltzed into his room by herself. Right now though, he was trying to calm himself once more as he turned to let her in and shut the door behind.

She stood just inside the doorway afterwards and stared unwavering at Dio, “I don’t know how much I can tell you but I need you to trust me.”

Dio’s laugh is mirthless and his reply to her request is, “speak first and we’ll see if the devil has your tongue or not.”

She takes a shaky breath, “Dio I know- I know what I said what feels like forever ago but I didn’t come here to make amends. I just wanted to warn you that this fight with Jonathan might not go as you plan.”

“Oh? I see your all-knowing nature hasn’t failed you and while I must thank you for the concern, I assure you this fight is well under my control.” With these words, Dio can see a fire alight in the servant girl’s eyes. Those eyes he had once admired for being so soft only become more enticing with her resolve.

“Dio you know I know more than I let on and I need you to hear me out. I know you will lose, I know your body will burn, I know these things because I’ve seen it all. I can’t tell you how but I want you to at least have some inkling of what’s to come.”

Dio thinks for a second, her words are true as always and seeing her again is something he could only have dreamt of so he decides to trust her, saying “fine then. Tell me more.”

And with that, she spills as much as she can without telling Dio what exactly will happen. She doesn’t want to give him a total rundown of what’s to come but at the same time she fell in love with this ill intentioned, fiendish man because of those rare times when he shared his true self with her and she could see the person he could’ve become if he hadn’t been in such poor situations. When she was finished sharing all this with Dio, he only nodded and thanked her.

As she turned to leave though, Dio stopped her to say, “I promise I’ll find you when this is over; like the rose to sunshine, I cannot help but look in awe of your radiance. However, this time it’ll be my turn to speak with you. Now find somewhere safe to go until this is all over.”

#Dio Brando #Phantom Blood #JoJo's Bizarre Adventure #scenario #wow this turned out a lot longer than I meant #also i hope its decent im not that great at writing

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elle-czech · 6 years

Text

@ the person a who reblogged my “good straight couples” post and added “Hamilton/Eliza”

1) it’s Alexander and Eliza

2) Act 2 song 4 “Say No to This” Alexander cheats on Eliza. Clearly not a GOOD couple. Yeah they could love each other but when I said good I meant they are well functioning (see Marvin/Trina was NOT good) They could be a mediocre couple but not as good as Emmett and Elle.

With Alex and Eliza they meet the as the song goes “TWO weeks later” TWO WEEKS then they get married. If you read the book Alex and Eliza you would know they met two years before, but they never got to know each other.

With Emmett and Elle you can clearly see their relationship blossom into marriage. During the song “Chip on my Shoulder” Emmett takes a liking to Elle, maybe not love but definitely friendship. He actually cares for her and gets her the 2 in 1 Shampoo/Conditioner. (With Alex and Eliza the musical shows him swaying Eliza with words. Looks can be deceiving! It’s kinda like “don’t believe everything g you read on the internet”) In “Take it Like a Man” the whole song represents them falling in love, or at least Emmett falling. (See: “Love?” “Excuse me?” “Love the new fragrance from Chanel” [they are at a department store] , “Cause something’s in the air!” “I think it’s Love”, and finally “Subtext by Calvin Klein”) I know Helpless is Alex/Eliza falling in love, but as we can see Alex goes right back off to war with ease. He doesn’t show an ounce of regret and has to be forcibly sent home by Washington to see his wife and unborn son. Please note I’m only using facts from the musical and not the Rob Chernow book (which I have read). Also note that there is a legal video on YouTube of Legally Blonde that has over 1 Mil views.

It takes Elle and Emmett a full musical (14 songs from the ITunes sound track and 18 counting the overtures and mini songs) to develop a strong friendship that turns into a relationship. With Alex and Eliza that is all in 1 song aka 2 weeks. I know they develop a relationship via other things but this is AFTER they married! Again it takes Elle a FULL MUSICAL to propose to Emmett! It takes Alex 2 minutes and 50 seconds to propose.

Going back to the cheating. The reason Alex cheated can be found https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/blog/love-and-sex-in-the-digital-age/201704/13-reasons-why-men-cheat%3famp there (I can’t condense sorry) I would see him going under 1, 8, (this one is wild) or 12. They never got time to actually get to know each other IRL (very important to sustaining a relationship [romantic]) and just went into it. Yes they got time afterward and could have gotten a divorce, but could you really see Alexander wanting to lose everything he owns to a very rich family? Also Eliza cou have been the only Love he has ever known (NOT GOING OFF OF RON CHERNOWS BOOK) and thinks this is OK- I’m gonna stop now

I’m very sorry I got out of control. I just want people to know that Alex/Eliza was NOT a Good Pure relationship.

Neither was Elle/Emmett but WE NEVER SAW THAT! Yeah Emmett got kinda angry at Elle for acting all dumb around Warner but that’s NOTHING compared to CHEATING!

Ok yeah im done.

If the person who wrote Alex/Eliza wants to unfollow me please feel free to. I got it if control

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mildlymaddy · 7 years

Text

Ask and you shall receive I guess. ;)

Lilo future!fic, in which both are single, Liam’s got two kids, and I end up calling Liam’s first-born “James” because the fucker still hasn’t shared his actual baby’s name with us.

Liam was in over his head. He knew it, and it only served to annoy him further. This was stupid. He was a grown-ass man. He had kids for Christ’s sake!

There was absolutely no reason for him to angst over the meaning of a bloody text message.

Especially not one that said, Im not gonna comment until Ive tried it myself.

Louis had added the sunglasses emoji at the end, which was nice but didn’t help Liam figure out whether he was serious or not.

And knowing whether Louis was serious or not felt quite bloody important, considering the message Liam had sent him right before had been: Then she said i was lousy in bed, like, can you believe?!

Liam took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

The thing was, lately, there’d been quite a few of these messages from Louis. Like, Liam didn’t want to jump to conclusions or anything, but ever since Louis had come back to L.A., single and determined to take over the world with Liam (there’d never been any question of whether Liam might have other plans, but then again he’d only been too happy to join in. Endless touring was less appealing at 38 than it had been at 23, and writing for others with Louis had always been part of his dreams), they'd gotten… close.

And they'd always been close, obviously, even once time and distance had made their friendship more quiet and soft, had turned cuddles and pranks into yearly birthday messages and dinners that had to be planned months in advance, but even in their hay days it had never been… it’d never been like this.

Or maybe Liam was just too old to remember exactly how flirty Louis used to be. But he'd watched some old 1d interviews, just to see, and while Louis teased him a lot and touched him even more… it just wasn't the same. Liam was sure of it.

Except, of course, for all the moments when he wasn't.

He started typing a reply, then deleted it, staring at the blinking cursor on his screen with increasing desperation. It had been 10 minutes since Louis had sent his message and the longer Liam waited, the more awkward his reply would be, no matter what.

“Daaad, can you stop jiggling your leg? I’m trying to watch my show!”

Liam looked up from his phone to find his daughter glaring at him from behind her fringe, earbuds plugged firmly in her ears to listen to whatever she was watching on her phone, curled up on the other side of the couch. He wasn’t sure how him jiggling his leg two seats over was disrupting her focus, but clearly it was, and she huffed again before turning her attention back to her show, mumbling something Liam couldn’t make out but which was most probably along the lines of “grown-ups suck.”

He’d never realized, back when he’d started a family, that that meant dealing with moody teenagers down the line, and not just adorable babies and cute 8-year-old kids. The wake-up call had been brutal (and his mother’s amused look the first time he’d complained to her about the ungratefulness of teens a little uncalled for). The fact that he only had them one month out of two since his divorce didn’t help things any.

“Sorry, sorry,” he mumbled, leaving the living room to go lock himself in the first floor bathroom, phone clutched in one sweaty hand.

He sat on the edge of the bathtub, legs resuming their nervous jiggling, and felt his heart doing a sickly somersault when he saw the notifications telling him Louis had sent another string of messages. That was it; he’d missed his shot by waiting too long. Louis had moved on to another subject and-

That was a comeon, in case you cant tell.

I mean unles you CAN tell and yure not interested.

Which wouls explain why you havent written in 15mn i guess i should take the hint

Fuck thiss awkward forget i said anything.

Liam read the words over and over again, just in case they’d morph into some inane discussion about playing dog sitter for Louis or setting up a writing session, but they remained the same.

Louis had been hitting on him?

Louis had been hitting on him.

...

For all that Liam had been convinced something was going on, getting actual confirmation of it felt like taking a deep breath under water.

“Fuck,” he muttered, desperately trying to keep his breathing under control.

It wasn't until moving dots popped up on his screen to show Louis was writing yet another message that Liam finally sprung to action, clumsily typing his reply and sending it before he could second-guess himself, typos and all.

I wqsnt sure yu were skirting

He blinked at his screen. Fuck. Stupid predictive text. When had he even ever written the word “skirting”?!

I meant flirtng*

flirting*

Fuck

Liam groaned. Maybe if he chucked his phone into the toilets he could pretend that those last messages had been a bug.

He'd always thought this kind of thing would get easier with age (well mostly he'd thought he would get married and live happily ever after...), but if anything, this felt worse than he remembered. How did anyone ever hook up with anyone without keeling over from the stress of it all?!

The cheerful “blip!” of a new message brought his attention back to the screen.

Does that mean you dont midn?

Liam swallowed around the lump in his throat. He was pretty sure he was supposed to feel relief but for some reason all he could feel right now was rising panic. Surely this was a mistake, his brain pointed out. This was all a misunderstanding. He was getting Louis’s meaning completely wrong.

Still, he made himself write back, I def dont mind. Imall for flirting.

Dots came and went on Louis's side of the chat for quite a long time after that, leaving Liam ample time to worry about the ways in which he could have misunderstood Louis's messages (admittedly, he couldn't think of one, but that's how it worked, right? That’s the reason people felt so mortified afterwards), until finally Louis's answer popped up on his screen.

Im gonna be horribly blunt here im sorry but i wanna make sure. So if i drop by your house tonight with two bottles of wine and push you against tye wall and snog you senseless youre ok with that right?

The relieved laughter that burst out of Liam’s mouth surprised even him, and he let himself slide to the tiled ground, his heartbeat going wild with happiness as he tremblingly typed back, ive got the kids so might be best not to but i woudlnr say no to some snogging on the weekend?

He pressed Send and rested his chin on his bent knees, staring at his phone like a lovesick teenager, which is exactly how he felt right now. This was ridiculous. It was also the best Liam had felt in months.

A shriek coming from the ground floor dragged him out of his bubble and he struggled back to his feet, frowning, but the stomping of feet on the stairs and the vengeful “Emma I'll punch your teeth in!!” made him reconsider. Possibly staying in the bathroom was safest for now.

A door slammed down the corridor, then he heard Emma yelling back, “I'll fucking tell mum, you tosser!” before another door slammed shut, a little closer.

He really wished she’d stop using the mum card. First because that was unfair for Cheryl, and second because… well, he could be fearsome too, damnit. He wasn’t just the “hot, goofy dad” (as amusing as having Emma’s friends mooning at him was, mostly because his 20-year-old self had forever been preserved online).

He had to go talk to them both, but a glance at his phone showed him Louis had sent another message.

I dont know if ill still want to snog you then, payno. 3 days is a long time.

Liam grinned. Far away from fighting teenagers, something warm was unfurling in his veins, spreading through his body, carrying with it a faint thrilling note, just enough to make his heartbeat a little irregular in the nicest of ways.

Ill make it worth the wait, he typed back, biting his bottom lip around a smile. His heart was heavy with happiness in his chest and he never wanted the feeling to go away again.

He’d never considered the possibility of falling for someone he’d known since he was a teenager, but now that he was, he was starting to wonder how it hadn’t happened earlier. How he’d gone without.

I expect you to, Louis sent back.

Count on it.

There was renewed stomping in the corridor, then the noise of a door banging open and a shout. Liam sighed.

Gotta mke sure the kids dont kill each othr. Talk later?

He stared at the dots as Louis typed his answer, unwilling to get out into the fray just yet, unwilling to let go of his own slice of teenagehood. He couldn’t make out the words that were being yelled down in James’s room, but they clearly weren’t anything he could tolerate. He really needed to step in.

Anytime.

…

Oh god pretend i dind’t sent that.

You know what screw it.

<333

Liam beamed down at his phone, sent a heart back (or ten), and stepped out of the bathroom.

#lilo #tumblr ficlet #i'm at the point where i'm thinking this is either brilliant or total shite #but it's midnight and now i don't wanna go to sleep without posting it first #i hope it's nice #thank you for liking what i said #when i wrote it i was like 'this might be super sweet... or it's just pathetically trite' lol #i hope i did my own quote justice haha #and i really hope you like it <3 #thepainlessmoustache

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ayyponine · 7 years

Text

good teaching practise experiences pt 2:

+ every member of staff just being /so nice/... including the cleaning staff and ladies at the reception desk holla

+ but yeah especially both my mentors they were so supportive and kind and good people

+ shoutout to the one guy in my seventh yrs class who was super cooperative and good@ english bc on my first day id had to teach 4th-8th period and at the end of that fifth hr i was pretty drained (esp bc a teacher frm my own school had been there for the last two hrs to judge my performance) and he came up to me afterwards to explicitly tell me id done a good job despite his classmates being “kinda rowdy and stupid”

+ also i thanked him bc he had been shushing them fr me

+ then my class of first years who all passed their test on plural nouns (in dutch it’s pretty much like aight you just add an en or s to make it plural.....unless you don’t.....good luck)

+ even the one kid in the back who was like no im too stupid this isn’t right i think he got like a 12/15 and he missed a huge part of the lesson like?? believe in yrself buddy

+ i told them to at least fill in something bc leaving it blank means no points all the same and they all tried and got it right after all so go kids!! even the teacher herself was surprised bc it wasn’t like i had made the test too easy or anything

+ also this tiny quiet girl who on the third day on the way to class walked next to me. didnt say a thing. i could see her looking frm the corner of my eye but whenever i looked over twas eyes back to the front

+ my super smart boys who got bored and started talking when i was coaching others im sorry yall i shouldve gotten you extra, more challenging exercises

+ thats a recurring thing btw like kids being too smart and just bored during class so they’re “bothersome” and “uncooperative”. in this other class a kid like that questioned smth i said and actually had some valid input on the subject like ofc i was right but he had made a v smart remark anyway and when after having explained it i said “thank you for pointing that out” he was just like ”?? !! :)”

+ tiny adhd kid who was like ma’am whats your name. how many lessons are you gonna teach us. is class almost over. whatre we gonna do next. is this your only job

+ my seventh years again like aight they were kinda unfocused at times but we had a good connection i feel

+ to my second years who were the rowdiest and most excited of all my groups but then calmed down when i a) played some soothing music while they worked b) brought a star projector so they were all just like *o* and c) read a text myself when the audio files were malfunctioning (you could hear a pin DROP i was NOT expecting that)

+ our last activity was memory but with synonyms on lil green cards and it went super well. and then i handed out antonyms on red cards to add to the game and the teacher afterwards was like....youre not gonna bin these right?? and she kept them all in a lil envelope so she could use em as well fr another group B)

+ apparently i got a kid that barely ever raises his hand to do so and answer a question so thats pretty fukn neat

+ also shoutout to my own poker face bc apparently it’s better than i thought. one recurring comment that kept coming back on the reviews was like “you’re so calm all the time” meanwhile i was hecka stressing and/or thinking like lord send help.... trying to keep a class under control can be hard man. at one point a kid farted and it was complete mayhem

+ btw it feels so good to sit yr ass down on a desk...... the mentor said it only added to my chill presence and natural spontaneous connection with the pupils so i just thought like aight imma keep doing it then thanks B)

+ i had taught a culture class on holidays to two classes of seventh yrs and it started with a picture of jack skellington opening the christmas door so i could be like ok who recognises this, whats going on. we’re gonna do the same and explore some holidays so whip out yr smartphones yall we’re gonna do some research

+ but then the day i taught it to my 4th years we had some major computer issues all day so i solved it (at last....my years of being a fan of this film paid off...) by saying aight... im gonna draw my best friend in the world on the board, let’s see if you recognise him and by the time i had done the head and a long neck i could already hear like “jack skellington!!!” behind me and that was before the like collar thing i was so relieved could you IMAGINE if everyone had just been like????? and then afterwards on my review page i could see the teacher had put a “+++” on there bc it was a creative solution to not having the computer and bc the kids were intrigued and immediately hecka involved bc of those drawing skills. getting the extremely shy kid to participate only got me two pluses

+ comuter problems were still there the next day so i couldnt teach the lesson i had prepared :)) teacher was just like well! *leafing through a pupil’s course* just do this reading comprehension instead ok. luckily the entire unit was based on this one murder within a bigger crime theme (vocab on some diff crimes, listening exercise was summarising the interrogation of a suspect, past simple and past perfect simple to describe events in further past as written in the police report, how to voice a guess (might/may/could) or a definite certainty (must/can’t) when reviewing evidence etc etc.....) anyway this reading comprehension was on AC Doyle and my nerdass fukn saved my lesson once again, listing the diff modern adaptations to get kids involved (maybe youve seen the movies with rdj? or the bbc series with that one dude whos into that new marvel movie and the other is the hobbit *no reaction* ......whos seen the disney film with the mice) and giving extra info on the strand magazine, that Reichenbach is a waterfall, abt normalised opium dens and the meaning of the “V.R.” Holmes shot into the wall like. the teacher was like wow it’s a real bonus you could give all these extra lil trivia facts that was really impressive and added to yr lesson i was just :)))) yep

+ the pupils barely said shit though so i ended the class with some free communication letting them talk in smaller groups abt their favourite crime/thriller/horror movies/series/games and like both hot fuzz and mission impossible popped up so i just B))))) yea it was a p good lesson considering i hadnt been able to do shit in preparation

+ both mentors took the time to sit w me afterwards and go through the general review of my teaching practise and i was ready to cry it was so positive they said the nicest things. i really needed a good teaching practise to get me out of the danger zone fr that course and i think i might be good now. i just need to make sure the third one is positive as well and then im aight B)

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wxkryarb-blog · 5 years

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Young rider needs insurance help (motorcycle)?

Hello I am completing my motorcycle course this week and will be obtaining my m2 license, I was considering buying a motorcycle. I am a 18 year old male and was wondering if anyone could give me advice or some help for insurance in ontario?. I am aware it will be costly but was wondering if someone had any motorcycle suggestions that would be cheap on insurance or even insurance companies. Recent personal experiences would be nice. Thanks for the help!

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :insuretips.xyz

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calvinlepesh · 5 years

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yes here you go

Workcrew immediately for incompletion of the run is common for new kids and previous strugglers. Workcrew is named so because it makes u do nothing because u cant do something so instead of WORKing on something because u suck at that you literally work doing nothing. You have to work to keep yourself entertained. Work to keep yourself from going insane looking at that orange peel textured wall. Yikes. work to not fucking freeze too jesus fucking christ fuck whoever controlled the thermostat. just saying. Sure they didnt know or didnt care but fuck them for that. anyway. After the run you come inside go back to ur room if ur not on workcrew you chill for a few minutes while the chef is done cooking for the entire facility. Obvisouly being on wprl crew You dont eat whatever everyone else eats they work they get reward u no work no reward. oats and water and those fucking goddamn apples. fuck They're probably eating some kickass breakfest burrito or A nice blue berry muffin with yogurt. actually I know and still know the food schedule for breakfest and lunch for everyday of the week. It hardly change and very slightly if ever. So i knew what I could've been eating worst part about it is they eat literally inches from you. Your back facing them listening to them eat and salvate smelling all the condiments and fresh bacon. Waiting patiently for all the other students to finish their meals and wash their dishwear and go to their rooms only after do they. Give you your W/C meal. Oats and water fuck me. The worst part about it was after awhile I got so skinny that parker had me start eating a bowl of oatmeal with every meal this is when i was doing decently well but still being full of shit just not as much. But the worst part was I got 2 bowls of it while all other w/c got 1 And i started to even like it. Almost as if my taste buds had adapted over awhile to enjoy the oats. fuck those apples tho sometimes they were a 3 out of 10. best compliment I can give there sorry not sorry. anyway eat ur meal. its time for group. Group is when the entire facility all families and w/c and parker the director sit down commonly in a circle with parker in a chair and the students on the floor but before I left They had been consistently all in the life timechairs except parker who stood at the front of the main room with the students in a movie theatur like fashion without the leveled tiers obviously. but in order of w/c to family 1-5 so work crew being at the very front right feet from parker. During group we would review issues regarding anything and i mean anything wrong with the facility or the students and staff inside of it. It is encouraged and heavily peer supported to tell on each other and to work on themselves and not let anybody even other students or roomates get in your way. WORK ON YOURSELF by Sourrounding yourself with people on the same mission as you and who do the things to suggest they are going to continue to stay on that mission was a huge message that was pushed in a variety of ways at liahona. through team building exercises, group discussion and definitely confrontation. It is common for students to lash out when they're new. Probably cause they're from California and think these motherfuckers cant do shit to me im a minor. Think again, welcome to Southern buttfuck nowhere Literally sand mountains mars-looking Hurricane Utah. Body slam ur bitchass for acing outta line. Talking back blatent disrespect and obviously anything suggesting possilbe physical or verbal outbreak resulted in a restaint. Most staff would warn u like chill out orim gonna put u on the ground. And you'd get in trouble just for that. Sometimes even a little more secretly I think for not following through. but maybe not considering its a change in behavior. im sure it could be situational. Regardless. back to the story. group typically lasted an hour or so sometimes would watch a documentary afterwards sometimes even a movie however those became quite rare as the students or cycle in. Called generations of students. I was the last of my generation for a good amount of time towards the end of my stay at liahona. Depressing very much so. Watching people who go there a year after u graduate before you. U began to believe those insecurities more and more. and if you have struggle throughout your life with putting negative energy in the universe in the form of speech by conversion of energy to your body which is apart of the universe. i know alittle hard to follow but bear with me and try your best. After group you'd either get on or off of work crew based on how well u did at nothing and the little something u do such as workouts the morning run how u address staff members how even how frequent you use the bathroom to see if ur trying to get up. What was cool at Liahona was doing what you were told. being obiedient at all times immediately and when you do fuck up take the mistake and turn it into success instead of letting it slow you down as a failure. With such a poor mindset at Liahona especially towards the middle of my stay. I stayed at level 1 for 16 months. Probably a record not really a bragging thing tho. The point is I sucked at being a normal ass human. Full of attitude and was disobiedent with little to no respect given off the bat to any adult. Like I was the shit... When you're the shit you don't have the same problems that people who arent the shit have correct. So tying all the way back to the hospital metaphor with my secret broken leg. Honestly was probably secret to me as receiving the injuries throughout critical young developmental stages. I had alot of problems being honest because I was the shit and the shit wasnt supposed to be doing all this disgusting and sad. self demeaning outragous nasty stuff. thats all im gonna say. currently. im not ready to open up about my full past for i feel currently it lays at rest where it belongs until decieded otherwise by me. Now.. where were me. I was the shit. after coming out with stuff half assed in anattempt to still look kinda like the shit. they caught me on my bullshit and I spilled the beans. No longer was I the shit. I was shit. They broke me down emotionally. Making me write my story over and over again my entire life all the things I had ever done wrong. Each time I either came out with something new or changed something becasue everything I told my therapist was true but skewed and I lost track of my story. I had fucked myself and they gave me the rope to do it because they wanted me to earn my coniquences no have them given to me based on a hunch. I fucked myself. and unfortunately it was just he beginning for my emotional workouts. For the next two years. I trecked on. Fast forward july 2016 Im level 4 shadowing a new student with a level 3. us three since we are shadowing can talk in the room about rules only and how to teach them. while having our responsibilities with the quote aswell. at this point I could memorize anything. Memorized some crazy shit honestly wish that the content of the quote was more useful in a sense of remembering important things. or things that are commonly remembered by some idk. the point is we were aloud to talk about rules only. this didnt stay over time after me doing well getting to level fucking 4 this was huge for me and I had gotten comfortable and complacent in my position halting any further actions towards bettering myself everyday. exactly what they don't want you to do. We ended up flying our shadow solo which means hes a level one and we cant talk to him anymore and its cbo. basically hes in the big leagues now. But the level 3 and the other roommate who wasnt aloud to talk but was in the room while we shadowed the new student literally everyday for a month or two. And we all started breaking CBO together. basically we literally talked. about any and everything. Eventually getting comfortable doing that after a week or so couldnt have been too much longer than a week or two before guess who our same shadowed new student turns us in... Just like we had taught him to do. He was rewarded heavily. This was 1 july 2016. the 4th was parkers fav holiday does a shit ton of fun shit for everybody and everybody can talk water balloon fights watermelon eating contest hot dogs play basketball freely. fucking board games bro straight up. I had been at Liahona at this time for 2 about to be 3 Fourth of julys at Liahona and they just got better and better problem was I spent all 3 on work crew. top that off I spent all of July and into August on workcrew. It started off as suicide watch run risk and do nothing. literally as worse at it got. You can use the bathroom and sit in this chair. and you can sleep on this mattress with the fans and AC on with no blankets or pillows. So It stayed like that for a week. Miserable completely miserable. I had finally started doing well got to level fucking four and im on work crew do nothing sui watch run risk and Ive been here for two years sleeping in the commons with no blanket or pillows shivering. Ill still never forget that day parker said I could choose to have a blanket or a pillow. FUCK U THINK? blanket. ez. I was literally giggling with joy that night under its warmth. That whole month slowly and slowly got increasingly easier on work crew and I didnt know why I was even still on It'd been a fucking month this was august 1st. The next day august 2nd 2016 Parker comes in and tells me im finally leaving. This was a really big day for me and brings to me currently some very strong emotions of relief and regret. For I hadn't completely wasted my time at Liahona but then again I typically in the past back then never completed anything. And honestly that is one of my bullshit things that I say to myself. and still have some belief in for good reason to gain perspective from it. Because unfortunately there are things in this world that are bad but also true. Thats just the way things work. There is good in bad and bad in good always. It may be hard to find or the pros out weigh the cons or vice versa. I see the bad, me not taking very good advantage at all of what Liahona had to offer for me at all times. However still gaining from it which is good aswell of course. But the bad being I did waste alot of my time. Now am I completely to blame for the duration of my time there. Yes because I made the decisions that led to me having to be there longer. honestly cause I needed to be there longer. Maybe a slight tiny bit of blame on my father for neglect to anextent of course when it came to life rules and making sure I know and remember them. But at the end of the day I kept myself on the wall and I have taken responsibility and if I havent i will now. I fucked up at liahona and I caused myself to be there for aslong as I was obviously not intentionally but for some reason. Cause I hated myself and nobody felt bad for me. I nolonger desire that attention. Because I know that If that attention is given to me in the quantity desired and by the form of attention inwhich idesired. Would inturn keep me immature as im hiding and nesting away from my feelings rather than pour them out and release the hate and sadness because its no good. it does no good besides grant perspective both to yourself and others. I never brag about giving to the homeless. Truly the reason I bring it up is because I may not have been homeless for very long or hadn't been homeless without atleast a couch or a garage to sleep in. But after enduring just that water down verison of being homeless. I know they need that damn money more than I do. Im not going to be unreasonable and give him everything I have on my card. but typically I give them at the minimum a cig if they want one and a conversation just cause people need to talk to people. whether they're drunk or not sad or happy talking turns our feelings into reality based on what you desire long term and short term almost combined in a way. You can switch up long term desires such as careers and lifestyles however it is not recommended. However also if you are still in a somewhat content mindset settling for like85 percent full on ur content scale. And this is what you need a little change up. Then by all means switch but keep the short term desires because those need to work first. Before you even decide what you want from life and ur existance ask yourself am I happy? If you are not atleast somewhat content with who you are an individual currently. You need to follow what I told you earlier. You need to dig deep in your heart and soul and mind. Focus on the center of your chest. thats where i feel my soul communicate to me. And i search it with my mind sending inquizitive thoughts to it for its response. Your body is a rosetta stone in a way for literal human communication (speech) and the vibrations of the universe. And vice versa. your body picks up things from the universe and world that it tells u. Maybe gut feelings? Hunches? A strong feeling for no reason??? EVERYTHING HAS A REASON. And if it isn't this than prove it to me. It proves itself and you can try it for yourself. Find contentment in your preplanned manifestation that we call "The Universe" by recognizing both your current insignificance in the real world possibly currently or maybe never; never in your mind atleast. But also your significance in how much control you have just because of what fucking species you are and all the things you can learn. Know you have significance because this is your world and you already chose how your life is going to end. What will last for you what won't. Because somebody (you u idiot) set it up to happen that way. Say you think im full of shit and just crazy. Let me ask you.... Lets just say for shits and giggles then, that you are God/ superior being so to speak. And you created everything we have ever known. Planets, plants, rocks .people communication, every conversation. EVERY FUCKING EVERYTHING WAS MADE BY YOU. so with that in mind given that and the vast amount of knowledge that comes with some power.literally unimaginable because we cant EVEN FUCKING COMPREHEND it. ie You as God know that all good must have evil. So you realize large world thats actually rather small in comparison to alot of other fucking planets. Maybe it makes some people feel inferior maybe it turns people towards hate. But you decieded we're going to make a little safe haven whenthis random motherfucker wants to see if the world is flat. Killed all the indians. negative. USA positive. Rev war possibly hardcore karma for killing indians unlikely but it always is anyways. we win rev war Now we are free. Put Lepesh in free nation in 1999. He reconizes the power of the mind body and soul combined in the trinity. And wants to spread the message that you too can be happy. the suffering can end. Ive been diagonosed with depression add adhd odd ocd ptsd abcd u fucking name it. And they made a killing off of my parents. Granted I was a very problematic child so they started taking me in at a young age. over time with people telling me whats wrong with me. Yeah ima tell them to fuck off cause Im living the life i want to live. I may not know the consiquences are for me choosing to live like such. But I will and When I do I will weild that power given to me in knowledge and spread to you my wisdom. Speech isnt the only way to manifest things into your reality. Any human contact that can be described by and spoken with our apparently primitive words of any language. YOU MUST MEAN HOW YOU FEEL Currently this is my world and universe because I value very few things about myself in the grand scheme of everything. Given that wouldn't I want the one thing I value a great deal to succeed and fulfill his dreams and have a goodass life? So thats what this mindset program will do. Others will use it becuase their kids are driving them up the walls and they just can't do it anymore. They're about to throw in the towel and don't know what to do anymore. Maybe its for somebody looking for love and they need to realize that u literally must love urself first. You cannot give what you donot already have. Unless you promiss to give which is an entire other problem in itself given that you can never give the love you want to give because you must find it for yourself by dedicating large amounts of time to yourself over time which you cannot do if ur constantly giving your feeling of infatuation and potential 'promise love' IE I promise you one day Ill love you but right now I cant cause I dont love myself. But I promise I will love myself but u wont. U simply wont. Until you learn your worth which by the fucking way bro. straight the fukc up listen. By the way. you decide your worth. The way you decide to change your worth is by finding the opposing core belief about urself the angelic side the white fluffy this is who I truly am side. The I wanna die fuck everything not even worth it this world isnt worth bringing anybody into is bullshit. However nesscessary for a short period for perspective and experiential sake. Bullshit. You manifested bullshit told to you over time in different ways. almost like taking pieces of gum out from underneath tables accorss every resturant you go through for example ur entire life. making a big ball of gross bullshit told to you in the forms of verbal abuse sexual physical. just bullshit. Best thing about bullshit is that it is always bad. The only good in the bad of bullshit is that it give great perspective and it helps this rant lol. Anyways, Realize that angelic force you hold and listen to your mind and heart tell you what you already know. and put it into action by reminding yourself about it as much as possible until its all you really think about. You'll notice key changes in yourself. Keep in mind these some of these effects happened immediately some over time some after forgetting my worth some during forgetting my worth.For myself after finding myself again focusing on the bullshit that isnt true. Radical difference in hesitation to speak to people. and to even what im going to speak. I used to care about everything and project that I care about nothing. It was fucking stupid sad and pretty pathetic actually. very sad now that I think about it. Pretending almost in a way. Sag my pants wear dark and almost shady clothing. ears pierced, quit sports, smoke weed, everything to say I don't give a fuck about anything at all ever and never will. I did it and said it. Of course with periods of absolute disbelief and saddness for I knew the whole time I was living a bullshit fabricated lie that directly stemmed from my self esteem issues and uncertainty in myself and the universe. Im very grateful for my current state of being however unsober. very very helpful and a clear message from myself that I believe I know what I need to do. Or what I want to do. But how? Im not worried about why because Its impossible and highly unlikely that the reason presents itself so early. And so it has before but many a few times and such a long time inbetween instances its almost radical to gamble on such things. Might aswell waste my time doing jack shit sitting on the fucking wall for no reason. Im going to end this in the same fashion I started it to an extent. Unexpected and unrehearsed and will summarize in steps how use this Mindset Program I designed to help those capable enough to over come depression and treat general unhappiness with the combined power of your heart mind and soul. Idk but i wasnt specifically planning on making a book for financial gain although it was a large contributing factor. and I as I sit here and think about what I typed it doesn't matter. Because regardless of what happens I wanted it to so it will in the exact way I want it to effect me. if at all idk if i will lol. Crazy man lifes a trip. I need money and i dont deserve it but I can say confidently currently right this moment I would spend my money according to what I desire in the long term. And it would help me start that journey so I may learn more. and continue to better myself as an individual everyday. or at the very least do something that shows im a good person. In this world you have to keep your guard up not always but typically a great majority of the time. Given that, it's not hard to see why nobody trusts anybody on anything anymore. For a long time and still to this day a vast majority of humans have and will continue to act good but do bad consistently. They have simply been worshiping there bullshit thoughts. The best thing you can do for such a person who has potentially lost all hope. Or is on that path or near the end of it. Let that person know you love them. Only do so if you mean what you say tho. If you mean the words and they are looking at you when you say it. They will straight the fuck up feel your love. Might not be a fucking serotonin shot but its a little love that they will feel and remind them. Its never too late to change your mindset and find empathy for yourself and the world. Here are the current Finalized step by step instructions on how to use my newly developed highly successful Mindset Program. Guarenteeed to bring about contentment and feelings of joy to those who complete and follow these steps completely... 1.)FIRST OFF DO NOT READ THIS SHIT IF YOU AREN'T OPEN-MINDED OR YOU'LL NEVER HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO LEARN IT AGAIN, WAIT UNTIL YOU GET YOURSELF ATLEAST SOMEWHAT UNDERCONTROL.2.)EMPATHY Either Already have or Develop a very hardcore understanding and knowledge of empathy by having gratitude through perspective that you must gain. Gaining perspective can happen in a number of ways. The misfortunate are a great way to lead you to happiness. By giving away your money need it or not. who needs it more. and what are they spending it on. If you were homeless outside in january wouldnt you want to be drunk? you were gonna buy a steak and lobster dinner that night anyway even if you didnt have the 10$ cash you gave to Michael by the dumpster. That inturn puts you indebt in a way to the universe. Almost saying this guy will get something good from this at some point in his life. Could be your friend buying your next meal or an invitation to a crazy party. who knows and who knows when its going to happen. we don't the beauty of it is that you know its coming in some shape or form. infact it might have already paid its debt by making you feel better when you did it???? Put yourself in less fortunate peoples shoes. Take acid as much as you can within reason obviously you don't wanna end up fried as fuck. But definitely trip balls man go learn about yourself and the world. Acid is a key to more knowledge. You swim in it but its like trying to bring water (the knowledge) with you when you get out of the pool. You can never even get close to obtaining all of that knowledge. I just needed enough to know that my life isn't completely fucking worthless cause I truly can control my life and you can control yours. Is so empowering to see it happen first hand. To see success finally coming and showing itself after all this time. The worst part is I knew all of this shit long ago. I was told this stuff in Liahona and They knew we didn't fully get it yet. Now I get it. Finally. wtf. I can control my own life.3.)SEARCH YOUR SOUL WITH YOUR MIND. Literally ask yourself questions like a literal one sided conversation. Ask yourself. What do I desire in my life most? For me? Wife car house maybe a farm cat dog fucking dont care whatever she wants the house to look like. two cars actually. I want a boat. and a stable well paying job and some kickass kids. When do I want it to happen. I decided that before I was here. Because I was apart of the aliens maybe idk lol just a thought. Maybe they let me choose they were like yo man this is where ur coming into this planet. they're dumb but think they're really smart and theres lots of chaos they're pretty bad animals i know its a bad gig to send you into but if you like what you can make happen go for it. I wouldn't come into this world unless I knew that things would work out for me at some point. and idk if today is the day but ive realized again what I had already realized but soon forgotten about over a month after. Either from complacentcey or just down right bad memory. Either way I forgot the path and Now I am back.4.)YOU ARE LOOKING FOR THE GOOD IN THE BAD AND THE BAD IN THE GOOD For example, for me my bads are so seldom compared to what some people across the universe go through on a daily basis. I have it so good already. Now compared to the rest of my country.. yeah Im not doing very well financially or on some of the selfs. I have the mental capcity and emotional knowledge and strength currently developed from years of deep depression and sadness. Drug abuse and wanting to be numb. Wanting to die or hurt myself. Here I am reconizing the bad in my life the symptoms of listening and believing other peoples bullshit. Reconizing that the bullshit isnt true and was never true. sometimes reconizing a genreal date that you remember yourself starting to believe what people bullshit to you about yourself. Maybe you remember how you felt about yourself before someone called you fat or ugly or hurt u in some way. Remember previous relationships that have cut u deep over time and may even hurt a bit to think about. Remember the fighting and bullshit. But most importantly remember the good times. Ive caught myself many times forgetting the numerous good times had with previous loved ones in almost a desperate attempt to save yourself. Its a protection tactic that completely stops any and all emotional grow. The only way you get stronger is if you do the work. Just like at the gym the only way you get a ripped ass chest or a 6 pack is by doing the fucking work and lifting it. There is no short cut that is worthwhile longterm. Roids give you boobs and shrink ur balls now ur shot on the kids Idea cause u tried to take a shortcut. Same with emotions. using heroin was a big thing for me for awhile i was at a point where I knew it was stopping me from growing emotionally. Because it doesn't allow you to feel anything. you feel numb you don t care. when I took heroin I felt like I really was who I said I was. I overdosed a few months ago and died onheroin. started using again a couple days later. I stopping in November and id be lying if I said it wasnt brutal. so sure I tried to numb the pain with other things. Alcohol is a big one coke, meth, lots and lots of weed, anything that would or could alter my mind besides heroin is what Ive been doing. Now none of these things are beneficial in the long term except for weed and acid maybe coke if the universe allows it. The opportunity that you desire would not present itself to you without you first creating the desire. I have a desire for drugs. So I have drugs. But Im at the very least smart enough to realize that heroin is if not a complete block of emotions pretty damn fucking close to it. which allows for significantly less emotion growth through the actual feeling of your feelings and emotions. Another big thing that can help is talking about what you discovered about yourself all the bullshit you believed and the statements you have in place to replace them. My previous statement for example Im a fucking loser thats never going to amount to shit. My angelic statement, I've made many mistake and failures in my life at a young age that I wouldn't trade for the world for they have development me into me. You've made it this far havent you?5.) USE YOUR TRINITY TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE STARTING BY FINDING WHAT WORKS FOR YOU TO HAVE A CONSTANT REMINDER. Basically this means find a way to take your new angelic statement created from the good inside the bad and either associate that statement to whatever you see best fit. For example. I have an alarm in the morning that reads! Choose to be happy! with some other notes aswell. And I read that I think to myself. Its a choice. I can use my mind to change my reality over time based on how I feel. I DONT HAVE TO BE SAD ANYMORE BECAUSE I HAVE THE DESIRES IN MY LIFE THAT PULL ME TOWARDS THEM THROUGH MY DECISIONS AND ACTIONS CURRENTLY.

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hieisdarkdragonchick · 6 years

Text

I do not know what i am

I was raised by men, and i can appreciate a really pretty girl when i see one, i tend to think every girl is pretty, but i know which ones align with the standards of those men.

I was not allowed to talk about the attractiveness of men. But i was forced to constantly hear some very derogatory things about attractive women.

I was not allowed to speak out about it.

I was to sit, and wait and follow orders.

My job was the kitchen and the laundry and the cooking and the cleaning and all of the things that men 'shouldnt have to do'.

When guest came over i was put in the spare room and they were given mine..

When i was 12 a man came to stay and he was given my room.

He was nice at first, he saw that i liked books and he showed me his collection.

He noticed i liked crafts and he would give me money to make him things.

He seemed nice, and he was foriegn so he had many interesting stories.

He gave me coins from different places.

But his hugs were too tight.

The way he hugged me was weird and it made me uncomfortable.

I became wary of him.

I wasnt sure if he had touched me on purpose or not.

I was ordered to hug him, he was my uncle after all. (Recently, at the time, married to my great aunt and staying with us while the house got fixed apparently).

I avoided him. He would catch me washing laundry and 'help' me by commenting on my underwear, make an excuse to corner me when no one was looking and touch me in places i did not want to be touched. He would say if i told i would get into trouble, everyone would think i was to blame. It was my fault. I should thank him for teaching me how to be a big girl.

He asked in front of everyone if i was angry at him for something.

I was embarrassed, frightened. He was smiling behind that stupid glass, i knew he was cornering me, but i was afraid to tell them why i was afraid.

Everyone was staring at me.

I said no.

Things got worse, he wanted to teach me grown up things, he would sneak into the guest room while i was sleeping and i would wake up with his tongue down my throat. I couldnt sleep anymore. I would hide under the covers and pray that someone would see what was happening and help me. He would tell me if i told he would kill my whole family in thier sleep. I was afraid. I never said a word. Eventually he left. It didnt make me feel better. i tried to get on with my life. To pretend like it never happened, like i was normal...

I was put on birth control at a young age but was told it was to help with my period and that it was 'not because we dont trust you'

I never did anything against the rules.

I stayed between the lines.

I read books in the dead of night while my brothers snuck out to party.

I caught them with cigarettes and remembered what my DARE instructor had said about them. I snatched them and ran and i destroyed them and tossed them over the fence, useless.

I cried in my junior year when a boy took off his shirt and i saw that he had abs. It was part mortification and part awe because I didn't know that six packs actually existed.

I played sports, and i liked them, but i quit because my father and grandfather turned everything into an excuse to scream and yell. It stopped being fun.

I was never allowed to correct them even when i had proof that they were wrong. Proof did not matter, the science was wrong the book was wrong, simply because the man of the house is always right.

I graduated high school, and for once was told by my father that he was proud of me.

But it was not for studying hard, or graduating, it was not for the scholarship or my decision to try college.

It was for not getting pregnant and bringing dishonor on our family.

There had never been a chance of that.

I was never alone except with my books in the dead of night.

It hurt because i was the one who followed the rules.

I decided on a college and was shot down, if i went there, i was told 'you are abandoning the family just like your mother'.

I went to a different college instead, the one my father graduated from, it was 30 minutes away and if i was late getting home even by five minutes he would get into his truck and come looking for me.

He would demand to know why i was late when i met him on the road and get upset if the answer was anything other than 'the teacher held us back'.

I eventually worked up the courage to apply to the college i originally chose. I did it hesitantly behind his back, because i wanted out.

I got accepted and i worked hard to get there, arguements abounded and when i moved in i was alone.

It hurt because i was afraid.

I had always been given orders someone else always knew what to do.

But i was in unfamiliar territory.

I was 100 miles away.

Not far, but far enough.

Too far according to them.

I made friends, i worked hard.

I still felt guilty.

Afraid.

I felt as if they would show up around the corner every time i made a decision.

I was always looking over my shoulder.

One 'friend' decided to catch me in the parking lot once on my way to the dorms from work. I was cornered between my open car door and him.

He grabbed me and groped me and i cried and i was terrified and someone just so happened to walk by and recognize me, they didnt see what was happening but they called out to me and it gave me an escape, because he backed off, there were people watching.

I hid in crowds after that.

I avoided him.

I made the walks from class to class as short and inconspicuous as possible.

He was angry.

He caught me between classes, and demanded that i apologise for my behavior.

He threatened me, he was a black belt, he was wearing a gi, sweating from his class. His eyes were blue and they terrified me, not just because of the grip he had on my wrist, but because my fathers eyes turned that exact shade of blue when he blacked out from rage.

Another guy saw what was happening and jumped to my defense.

He got slammed into the wall for his troubles, and lifted off the ground.

More people came to investigate the yelling and he was gone.

But i lived in terror from then on.

Afraid he would be around the corner.

Afraid to leave my dorm room.

Afraid to eat alone.

Eventually he disappeared.

I hesitantly got back into a routine, but i refused to walk even short distances alone.

I did my best to stay surrounded by people until i was home behind a locked door.

I missed my family, the protection they offered.

I found a familiar face, from high school and he asked me out and i agreed, because i knew him, because he understood my fears and he promised he could protect me. He reminded me of home, and of safety.

But after awhile he demanded that we have sex. He said it was because he loved me, because its what couples did.

I had never been interested in sex, but i did it because it seemed like it was expected of me.

I never enjoyed it and always felt awful afterwards, in a few cases i just felt used.

But he told me if i got pregnant he would abandon me.

I should lose weight.I ate like a pig I was a bad person if i didn't want to do it.

I thought its what i was supposed to do when i dated someone for a long time.

After it ended i felt so awful and gross i couldnt scrub off his fingerprints.

I felt stupid.

I felt used.

I felt like trash.

I had agreed to it, but it wasn't fun, it didnt feel good, i hated myself.

I worried for a solid month.

He decided from then on that i owed it to him.

When i finally worked up the courage to break it off i had decided that i hated men.

But i met someone three years ago who changed my feelings.

I dont know what happened but i sort of automatically trusted him.

He was constantly worried about doing something that would make me uncomfortable and if he asked me if i was uncomfortable and i said yes he would immediately back off.

When we finally did have sex he was worried he might have hurt me or made me uncomfortable to the point that I actually felt really safe and relaxed and it was almost funny to me how concerned he was.

The thing is... I actually really enjoyed it for once.

Not just the sex.

But his personality...

How concerned he was. he was awkward and worried and kind and gentle

No one had ever treated me gently before.

Even now, after three years he always asks, he always worries, he is always gentle and careful and kind.

Despite everything he thinks im pretty, he doesn't yell, he never yells. He always asks if I'm okay, if i am afraid of someone he takes me away from them, if i am anxious he soothes me. We have our own little bubble, I dont have to worry when he is with me.

I want to run away with him and never look back.Maybe then i can imagine for awhile that we are the only two people in the universe. That all those bad things were just a nightmare. That i woke up to his face and he told me that i was safe and none of it was real. That i will always be safe, that he will always be here, that nothing in the universe can ever take him away from me. That i wont be alone again and i dont have to be afraid of anyone or anything. But when he is gone, even if its just to work, i am alone, i am afraid, i dont want to exist, existence is worry and fear and darkness when he is not here, there is danger in places that i used to think were safe.

He worries too, he gives me tools to protect myself, small weapons and sprays, we can't afford much. I don't know if they will be enough, i jump when a stranger approaches me in a parking lot, when someone i dont know speaks to me in a library, i fiddle with the pepper spray as i pump gas and with the knife as i pay for it. All the doors are locked, if he leaves the vehicle i am with him. Its gotten dangerous lately, people getting abducted, raped, sold. Always from the person asking for help or seemingly just looking for a pleasant chat.... I am safe with him, i can not sleep if he is not there with me. And everyone tells me i am stupid for being afraid. That i spend too much time with him. That we are too attached and its not normal. That not being able to sleep wothout him is silly and i am being ridiculous. They don't understand why i cant sleep, why i am afraid, why i have anxiety attacks when they corner me or try to fix me. The therapists says my problem is that i am afraid to be angry. I should use i statements, i am afraid to tell her everything that no one else knows, so i write it here instead. Because maybe someone will understand why i cant say any of this out loud. Why i am afraid. Maybe someone can tell me how to be brave, and strong and how to sleep with the light off.

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