#uhhhhhhh hm let's think

[cinastre]

i think the patron saint ask meme is fun cause saints are patrons of some random ass shit so i can say whatever odd vibes come to mind

#nyx.txt #the catholic church creating saint patronages by throwing darts at a board and laterally thinking around their death #like hm this saint was struck by lightning? lets go with children electricians and uhhhhhhh people with spiky hair #sure

[starredforlife]

Tagged by @eemanee! and i'm supposed to tag 15 people but uhhh idk if i'll do that many lol

1. Are you named after anyone? no but i was named so my name can be spoken fluently in both english and spanish!

2. When was the last time you cried? god idk. maybe late january?

3. Do you have kids? no just my kibby cat jackie

4. What sports do you play/have you played? swam a bit in middle school. i can still do somersaults in the pool like a boss

5. Do you use sarcasm? not often i'm actually quite genuine and earnest if a little condescending but i'm fond of overexaggeration as a form of humor. so it's kinda sarcasm. also i'll straight up lie for the bit to see how many people i can convince at a time (usually at least one)

6. What's the first thing you notice about someone? uhhhhhhh . hm. well. maybe their voice?

7. Eye color? lighter brown

8. Scary movies or happy endings? scary movies!!! i'm always down for a horror rec

9. Any talents? i can make a good sandwich!! and i can touch hot things but that's not a talent. i do art but that's literally for my job i dont think it counts bc it's a skill

10. Where were you born? not giving the internet that info but i will let yall know i was born v red. like a tomato

11. Hobbies? writing, reading, watching horror movies, cooking, swimming uhhh kissing girls in gay clubs. what else . oh! working out for rn but eventually i'm hoping to get into fencing

12. Any pets? jack-o-lantern! my tortie cat!

13. Height? 5’4 aughhhhh

14. Favorite school subject? art, physics, history!

15. Dream job? creative director! i love telling people what to do

tagging uhhhh @rmnu @piratebay @blackbearbutch @guillotinegf @knittingnoodle @sparklehoard @inkats and @pastatherapy !

#star's stuff #abt me #thank u for the tag!!

[thekoopalingsandstuffs]

To the high-schoolers: Plans for after graduation?

Roy: "... Oh shit. Uhhhhhhh... I don't know..."

Ludwig: "It feels like it's so far away, but really, it's super close..."

Roy: "Well... I feel like I want to stay in the castle... Not to mooch off of Bowser—I'll definitely get a job or something!! I want to stay with my babies until the youngest graduate. I know that for sure. Assuming that Larry CAN graduate, of course." *Chuckles* "... I don't really know what I want in a job, either... Not the slightest clue."

Ludwig: "Peasley and I are definitely going to get married!! And he told me that after his eighteenth birthday, or at least, when he becomes "mature enough," his parents will step down and retire from being the king and queen of the Beanbean Kingdom and let us take over. I've heard it's a charming, peaceful little place, with adoring, lovely people!!"

Roy: "... Wait. I thought Peasley's parents were divorced? Isn't only ONE of them the rightful owner of the throne? How are they both still in charge?"

Ludwig: "If I recall correctly... They never got any paperwork signed. And Queen Bean wants to fulfill her own dreams of being a florist. But if she officially quits, then the throne goes to... Popple. Which... Peasley says she does not like. So... Her and Haru are still technically married, so Haru can "rightfully" run the kingdom."

Roy: "Huh. Well then. How 'bout you, Igs?"

Iggy:

Roy: "... Prolly gonna end up in jail or somethin'-"

Ludwig: "I'm pretty sure he wants to become an engineer based off his current electives."

Spewart: "As much as Aunty probably wants us to stay in the wedding business, all four of us have plans elsewhere... For me... I don't know exactly what I want to do for a living, but I want to still be a fashion designer and do writing on the side. My passions."

Hariet: "I'm going to graduate with all As, make a few pit stops at Harvard, join a business school, earn my degree, join a large scale company, rise the ranks, and become one of the most well-respected woman CEOs in history."

Topper: "I'm still young. I haven't decided yet. But... I dunno. I'll go wherever the path takes me when the time comes. I like to think I'm flexible."

Rango: "Hm... I wanna become a math teacher!"

Topper: "... Aren't you... Like... Complete ass at math?"

Rango: "... I dunno—I just wanna do something working with kids! I LOVE kids!! I want to inspire them and make them feel special and educate them and teach them life lessons!! Many of those kids will end up way smarter than me, and I'd consider that a success!!!"

Topper: "Eh. If you say so."

Peasley: "Well... My parents say I'm supposed to take over the kingdom... I mean. I guess that's fine. There were some other things I wanted to do... But I guess I could find some time to do those! Like a side-project, y'know? Like what my mother does!"

[that-was-anticlimactic]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by my beloved @zukkaoru & @lesmiserablol <333

tagging (with no pressure): @beachytablecloth, @fabro-de-omres, & @milf-harrington (so sorry if you've already been tagged!)

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

69 which... is honestly more than i was expecting? i think it helps that my goal is to post a fic once a month mostly bc that's my motivation to keep writing even when i'm busy/stressed!

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

396,183 - omg i am SO CLOSE to 400k ahhhhhhhhh

3. what fandoms do you write for?

uhhhhhhh many??? right now, it's a lot of bsd/bnha, but it's always a plethora of things, haha! my first was prolly ninjago tbh

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

hey, little songbird, give me a song

you never quite say (but i hear)

lost in love and lost in feelings

Deeper Than Words

for a new world to begin, the old one must fall

okay the #1 for that is honestly so real that is one of my absolute favorite things i've written EVER lol, same with #2! the rest are... idk #4 is AWFUL - like one of my first atla fics and also my first time writing a ts fic (i have gotten SO MUCH BETTER AT IT NOW)

*note: i started this in like nov or early dec, and #5 changed! it was the zukka goose fic but now it's actually one of my favorites iugytfyhujiko

5. do you respond to comments

i used to be good at it. then i got stressed bc of school. and then i was suddenly like "uhhhh idk How to respond???" i think the thing that got me was i didn't know how to reply to the distressed comments on my sokka falling fic so i just. accidentally stopped.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

oh here in the garden (let's play a game) 100% rip to sokka sorry babes ilysm hate to do it to ya, love the angst tho <333 rip to everyone who missed the major character death tag lol. well... that or a spring and summer song, too brief rip to geto in the +1 oops... oh shoot... it could also be take me where my soul can run... hm...

7. what is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

this was hard, but imma go with i was a child and she was a child bc it's based on one of my favorite childhood memories! rip to zuko and his ice cream tho :/ but azula is VIBING the whole time oiuygfcgyhuij

8. do you get hate on fics?

not really? i did once have someone try to correct me and say that i wrote sokka with ocd instead of tourette's but it was in the bookmarks and it made me laugh lol. i also got this comment on my kubokai kaidou with ts fic: ".. the self projection is heavy in this one ... -_-" so idk if that counts lol

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

nope :)

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

uhhhh not really? i wrote ninjago equestria girls crossover oneshot in middle school but i never finished it and it SUCKED lol

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of?

12. what's the longest you've spent working on a fic? and the shortest?

uhhh i wrote a 7,600 word fic in three hours while i had covid? that's prolly the shortest? i count that as shorter than anything i may have finished faster bc i had covid lol but longest? ummmm over a year? multiple years? idkkkkkk the jay with ts fic i posted was something i wrote in 2019 and i edited it (a lot) and posted it in 2022 so??? that maybe?

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

uhhh i did with friends in middle/high school, but those never left the docs! also grace and i have. very many much so aus lol

14. what's your all-time favorite ship? from all fandoms?

RARIJACK!!! it was one of my first hardcore ships, and also was my introduction to queer ships!!! renga is a close second, but rarijack just is really important and special to me for sentimental reasons that put it above renga and others! i am also on a seroroki kick right now. it's not my all-time favorite, but the brain rot seems never ending right now lol

15. what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

GOD SO MANY i have a folder in gdocs just for ninjago fics and there are folders within the folder for different types of wips i'll never finish - i have That many: "no substance", "baby girls", "drafts"... etc...

16. what are your writing strengths?

uhhhhhhhhhh ngl i'm in a place right now where i feel like the answer is Nothing (writer's block has been Bad recently), but i think something i'm good at in a very specific way is making readers feel the discomfort of characters? like idk i've been told that the way i write ts and tics (specifically tic attacks) makes the readers feel uncomfortable in like a "wow i didn't know it felt this way" kind of way??? i like to think i'm good at characterization??? idkkkk

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

ummm setting and scenery & connecting parts of a story, especially if they're parts that i'm stuck on/transitions are prolly my biggest ones???

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i mean go for it as long as it's respectful and like... you tried making sure it's accurate?

19. first fandom you wrote for?

uhh rainbow fairy/a-z mysteries... but that was like very briefly on paper. first time like... for Realsies was ninjago

20. favorite fic you've written?

oh 100% hey, little songbird, give me a song. it's just really special to me and writing it helped me cope with a new tic i had. but one that i wrote more recently is fantasies i'm not sure that i'm worthy of which is a ritsu-centric fic and is prolly tied as my favorite fic i wrote in 2023. the other one would be sun comes streaming through the window (& i can't sleep anymore) which is my 21k word kenji-centric fic lol but that one is like... i'm more proud of it than anything, which is what puts it up there.

#corey writes:) #okay now that i did this pls inspire me pls pls pls #want write #ahhhhh #n e ways #i feel like i rambled so much goshhhhhhh #the ritsu fic tho... it's about the Guilt... y eah...

[dontyabigboy]

The trend "how the characters of Stranger Things would react if you asked what their pronouns are" on tiktok is so funny cuz like, it was the 80s and the characters would have no idea what you were saying. They wouldn't be like "she/her thanks for asking!"

Here's what I think they would really say.

Eleven: Pro... nouns?

Mike: What? I don't... uhhh... *shakes his head, utterly lost* What???

Will: *thinks you're making fun of him* Um. I'm not... sure?

Dustin: *counting on his fingers* He, she, me, you, it. Those are pronouns.

Max: *stares at you blankly until you fuck off*

Lucas: Uh, I don't know. What are you, my English teacher?

Steve: Hm? My what now? *slowly mouths the word pronouns to himself*

Robin: Uhhhhhhh. Wow, I guess I'm not as prepared for my English exam as I thought. What... exactly is a pronoun? Is that like... a noun that's really supportive of all the other nouns?

Nancy: MY pronouns? A pronoun is a word that refers to someone or something in the place of a noun. So... it, he, she, they, etc. So... I guess... I? Me? I'm sorry, what are you trying to ask me?

Eddie: Ohhhh I see how it is!! Let's all make fun of the freak that had to repeat high school! You know, you are so thoughtful and sweet, really you're too kind.

Jonathan: *long pause to process what you just said.* ... What?

Argyle: Thanks man. I'm pro pizza probably. Pro-nature. And pro-love. Yeah man, pro-love. It's the most important thing. *passes the dutchie*

Hopper: *long-suffering* ...........What's that. Is that... something the kids are saying? *rubs his face in his hands and looks up to the heavens in exasperation because he doesn't have time for this* I don't know. How's that? I don't know.

Joyce: Well, uhh... I'm not sure? I'm sorry. What does that mean again?

Murry: *eyes you suspiciously* Is this code for something?

Billy: What the fuck did you just ask me?

Erika: What's it to you, nerd?

Bob: Is this some hip new thing the kids are sayin' nowadays? I don't know about all that. I'm just good ol' Bob.

Vecna: *gives an impressive villian monologue, then kills you*

#stranger things #tiktok trend #st4 #mike wheeler #will byers #dustin henderson #robin buckley #steve harrington #eddie munson #nancy wheeler #jonathan byers #jim hopper #joyce byers #mine

[highwayphantoms]

snapshot tag meme

tagged by @hoochieblues <3

favorite color: man don't make me pick one, idk. lately i've been on a purple kick. it comes and goes. ol' reliable is green, tho.

last song: currently listening to a song that's been stuck in my head lately so that's the song you're getting: All There Is by Dirt Poor Robins

currently reading: I actually just finished a book while I was on vacation and haven't found the time to sit down and start another one because I've been busy playing bg3 LOL. I think the next on my list is Chuck Tingle's Camp Damascus, tho. I pre-ordered it and it's sitting on my kitchen table waiting for me, ehehehe.

last movie: uhhhhhhh wow I am not sure. hm. Nimona, maybe??

sweet/spicy/savory: i have one hell of a fucking sweet tooth so uh. yeah i like sweet things. i have a low limit for spicy tho, I top out around jalapenos lololol. savory also delicious. give.

currently working on: dayjob shit, my Rhinebeck 2023 sweater, a baby blanket for a pregnant person in my community who's fallen on hard times, finishing a full playthrough of BG3.... someday maybe I'll also clean up some of the Mess in my apartment

tagging, if interested: @replicatortrash, @lets-get-brave, @lost-inthyme, @zerobotic and anyone else who wants to play! :)

#tag meme #jay speaks #to be fair the purple thing has been going on for... months now #my hair has been purple since the spring LOL #contemplating doing a natural-ish red for the fall tho #idk we'll see #I might not dye my hair again until winter #depends on how much it fades

[heroes-villains-side-blog]

Prompt, well, tags, by @just-a-space-rabbit

Today had so far been great, in fact it had been fantastic! Well… that is what Hero would have said 30 minutes ago…

But now sitting in the back of Supervillain’s car, with their hands cuffed together and Supervillain’s arm placed around Hero’s shoulder, they were not so sure anymore…

Hero at Narrator: 😑

Narrator: Hey, it's not my fault you can break the fourth wall!

Hero: Hmph. It's times like these I really hate my power, I could've at least pretended that's not the direction life was going but noooo. Now, here I am, practically knowing the future but unable to stop it!

Supervillain:...You okay there? You're growling to yourself.

Hero: I'm fine! I'm perfectly fine! What's next on our agenda, hm? A picnic? Restaurant? Your lair? Maybe you only cook one thing and that happens to be my favorite, then you'll feel sorry for kidnapping me and get up to leave but I'll grab your arm and we'll stare into each other's eyes and you'll ask if I'm mad at you but I'll kiss you and shut you up and say 'does that answer your question?'

Supervillain:... Hero... I had no idea you felt that way.

Hero: Of course, I didn't! Er, I mean, of course, you didn't.

Supervillain: If I had known you felt this way I never would have kidnapped you.

Hero: Somehow I doubt that, but sure.

Supervillain: I wouldn't have, I swear!

Hero: Alright, whatever. Are you gonna let me go now?

Supervillain: *not listening* And here I was going to hold you hostage to blackmail Superhero.

Hero: What?

Narrator: Hero x villain doesn't always need to mean romantic, you idiot! It can mean platonic or even just mean that they're interacting, be it fighting or flirting.

Hero: Oh. Oh no.

Supervillain: But you know what?

Supervillain: *to driver* Henchman! Turn the car around! We're going home! And I'm going on a date!

Supervillain: *to Hero, while uncuffing them* Oh, Hero. I definitely didn't feel that way but now that I know you do, well, I should at least give this a chance, right? For your sake.

Hero: For my sake...ugh.

Narrator: Well, now I'm curious to see where this goes 👀🍿

Hero: I hate you, Narrator.

Narrator: Hey, I'm not the one who got you into this mess. This was all you. And also, may I ask why you know all these hero x- I'm sorry, romantic hero x villain tropes?

Hero: What are you talking about? It's because of you! You keep writing them!

Narrator: Nu-uh. I've never written anything like what you described in blue up there.

Hero: Uhhh

Narrator: I've never even read the tropes you described.

Hero: Uhhhhhhh

Narrator: Admit it. You like romantic hero x villain tropes, don't you?

Hero:

Narrator: Hey, what are you doing?

Hero: Almost there

Hero the Narrator: And the villain let Hero go. And Narrator never troubled Hero again. And Hero had the best life ever.

Ex-Narrator: How did you do that?

Hero the Narrator: Well, since you very embarrassingly proved that I have some power in this story. I mean, otherwise Supervillain wouldn't have changed his motivation and the plot just like that. So, I figured that I can take your place and fix everything.

Hero: *to driver* Stop the car, please.

Hero: *to Supervillain* I appreciate your kindness, but there's been a misunderstanding. I don't feel that way about you.

Supervillain: Oh. Okay.

Hero: I'm sorry I made you think that way.

Supervillain: It's alright. It happens.

Hero the Narrator: And so Supervillain unlocked the car without any hard feelings.

Hero: *gets out of car and stretches* See? Problem fixed!

Ex-Narrator: One that you created, but sure. But I must warn you, sometimes stories and characters have a mind of their own.

Hero The Narrator: What's that supposed to mean?

Supervillain: *gets out of car* Hero! Hero, here. I want you to have this.

Hero: What?

Supervillain: It's nothing special, just a flower I picked up this morning and would have thrown it away but...

Hero: But?

Supervillain: Well, it matches your suit and it's pretty and I just- I just think you should have it.

Hero:

Hero The Narrator: Narrator! What did you do?

Ex-Narrator: I didn't do anything. I can't do anything, just look at my title! I told you, sometimes stuff just happens.

Supervillain: *holding the flower out bashfully*

Hero: I- uh... thank you?

Supervillain: You're welcome. Bye now :)

Hero: *grabs Supervillain's arm* Wait.

Ex-Narrator: What are you doing?

Hero The Narrator: Shut up!

Ex-Narrator: You're... You're falling for the villain?

Hero The Narrator: It's only because- because—

Ex-Narrator: Because you're a sucker for soft villains

Hero: Because I'm a sucker for soft villains

Supervillain: What?

Hero: Nothing. I would like that date now, if you're okay with it, that is

Supervillain: Oh, alrighty :)

#villain #hero #hero x villain #humor #crack #fluff #snippet #meta humor #fourth wall break #soft villain #tw blackmail #my writing #Narrator #hero has a crush #Adorable villain #heroes and villains #flowers #Trope awareness #Meta #hero is so done #tw kidnapping #tw kidnap mention

[tartrazeen]

Can I just say how funny the writers are for how they made the Sentinels

Like I always wondered why Rohan, the Mystic Knight of Fire, had to fight the Ice Lord of whatshisface. Everyone else got something related to their element, but Rohan got the opposite. And I always thought maybe that had a hidden meaning or something, or that it was going to be elaborated on, or that Rohan had to fight a second one later - something. I really like it.

And at the complete, other end of the scale is Garrett's Sentinel. Which I love for totally opposite reasons.

It's like there were five writers for these guys, and each one had a turn coming up with an idea, and they all got increasingly tired as they went along 🤣

Writer 1: I like the dichotomy of Fire and Ice. I think that's what Rohan should fight: a big, spooky skeleton, maybe as a callback to when he fought the one Cathbad summoned as a child or even in the first episode. It'll really show his progression.

W2: Oh, I can do spooky. I like the idea of a spooky bat. Not - uh... not one that can fly. But it could fly, probably. And it's got this super sweet weapon and screech attack that directly relates to air, so that's cool. And bats have rabies, which is really spooky too.

W3: I'll do a uhhhhhhh fuckin' uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh snake. But it doesn't look like a snake. And it doesn't sound like a snake. Are snakes in the water a lot? I know they can be but are they actually known for - ah screw it, close enough. Btw it has legs. Which, for a snake, is spooky. Give it a whip and we'll call it a day, okay?

W4: why would you do a snake when i was literally gonna - nvm, fml, i'll just call it a wolf. Wolves are still spooky, right? And they live in caves? And they stab people with pointy knives? You know, that thing wolves are totally known for - knives and caves? i was gonna do a snake but this fuckin guy - whatever it's fine whatever

W1: Now, what are we going to do for Garrett?

W5:

I WANT A SPIDER

A BIG

FUCK-OFF

SPIDER

W1: ... Okay. The costuming team might have a hard time with the legs -

W5:

NO COSTUMES

PHOTO-REALISTIC

FUCKN FANGS

BIG SPIDER

W4: ... are we allowed to just put a spider in the show like that?

W5:

I WANT OTHER FUCKN SPIDERS CRAWLIN AROUND ON HIS LEGS

GET THE KIDDIES THINKING LITTLE SPIDER

FUCKIN - SUPRISE

BIG SPIDER

W3: Wait, what weapons is it going to have?

W5:

IT'S A SPIDER

I WANT IT TWICE THE SIZE OF A HUMAN MAN

W3: Does it at least have a catchphrase?

W5:

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEE

W1: Hm. That might be too intense. Tell you what: let's settle on a silent, photo-realistic spider that's twice the size of a human man and has dozens of little spiders crawling up Garrett's legs, and we'll go get some lunch.

W3: Hey, how's Garrett going to get rid of the little spiders that are crawling over him?

W2: It's probably fine for him to brush them off with his bare hands. We'll just cut away and never mention them again. Are we done here?

W5: Wait, make it hiss like a snake. Snakes are spooky.

W1: Sold.

W4: wtf!!!

#mystic knights of tir na nog #my stuff #good job tartra

[nicegaai]

sorry i want to ramble about fan fiction and i dont want to bothr people in dms

ok chapter 8 is getting its third googledoc draft because part of me does want to do as much of this as possible before the end of the year, especially while i still have so much free time.

thank you to past me for writing up the scene by scene breakdown. that DOES make this much easier to continue on. HOWEVER. why did i leave so much open ended. thats making this much harder. like

everything was left like this. and then when i add dialogue it changes the course of the scene pretty dramatically. ive spent like an hour today trying to iron out one scene i thought i had THE MOST polished up already. like. Carsex Scene was supposed to be my ease-in easy bit. HOW DO WRITERS DO THIS? im NOT cut out for this kind of work.

well this past year has given me a lot of respect for people who can write. ahhhhh

oh yeah also i cant find the whole first scene for this chapter. i wrote it a while ago and i have NO idea what happened to it. fml i guess

i think if i started rambling on about the plot it might get me into Real Writing Mode but im struggling to do this. thats what im trying to accomplish here with this textpost but it isnt workign yet HELP

ok no i can do this.

first scene i have dennor being cute togehter. unfortunately i havent figured out the whole second half of the scene. my notes are like "they talk about their relationship" and like ok i know this is necessary and ive been putting off them doing this for like 4 chapters but i dont know what to do with that. they should have a talk about the state of their relationship but i have discarded drafts of like mads confessing his love to sig which is no longer canon. i had a version where there was a subplot about them breaking up. now i just want them to have the polyamory talk, bcz someone has to and im not making sufin do it. but tbh i could leave it implied. and just put that off until the fic is over bc i dont care I JUST DONT CARE i dont feel like it

next was more sufin moments i think given some time i could make this bit really good. i love sufin. i love them being together this part is fine actually i just need to start it and the inspiration will come

next umm lets see. OH ACTUALLY this one is funny. im really into this scene even though i can sense it getting really really long. whenever i get into fleshing this scene out im goign to enjoy it. its denice and dennor having awkward boyfriend-sharing interactions. and nor is like sooo how are those wet dreams going lol and ice is like . well youre definitely not in them lol uhhhhhhh. jk he doesnt say this but he thinks it. his life is so hard u guize

the next bit .................. im trying to shoehorn in some norfin. im trying to set up that they should be besties and hang out more. because its true and right. unfortunately this "scene" is 2 lines long bc i wasnt sure what to do with it. could i drop it? yes. but for plot reasons I DONT WANT TOOOO. but what is the scene about? nothing, but i gotta fit in 2 important plot points and so i shall. maybe they will even do a sex. WHO KNOWS! NOT ME

next bit is another one that could get real long if i let it. i love the densu nation and i need their crumbs. i need them to hang out. IS IT PLOT IMPORTANT? maybe not. but TO ME i think it is CHARACTER IMPORTANT. theres some foreshadowing. actually maybe 2 layers of foreshadowing that begin here. and also they are playing videos game and being children about it and i love them

next bittttttttt emil feels like a fifth wheel and gets in his emotions about it :( this scene im feeling ok about even though its vague so far. its a good starting point. i can do something with this

next bit UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH AUUUUUUUUGHHHHH i dotn want to write this one. hm. actually i didnt realize i felt that strongly about this scene. i dont know if its because it sucks narratively, or its just not fun enough... writing emil at school with his friends is just not fun for me in general. i love hk and liech but this is just not my thinggg. it doesnt help that i ended the scene with saying "ughh something happens and plans fall through and i dont know how lol" like what am i supposed to do with that. but i think this scene will end up being important. a whole sideplot rides on this. if i deleted it, it might get confusing at the end. maybe i can just simplify it? eventually. maybe ill cut it out in the end anyway.

oh and then the last scene is the carsex scene. epicballs, i skipped ahead and im working on this first.

ew actually now that ive typed this all up, it sounds like a hell of a lot of work. what am i doingggg. im such a slow writer T_T what AM i doing

step 1 i need to stop editing as i go and just slam down some vibes in the goog doc. i got good at this for a while but ive lost that mojo. i need to revive her *looks at time* maybe tomorrow or something. or for a couple hours >_> if im very good at time management tonight

if anyone is reading this hi

#p

[shiftytracts]

Stop Wanting More, part 2 of 2 (T/M/A fic)

In which season-four Jon tries to quiet his hunger for live statements by gorging himself on paper ones, and Daisy tells him what she used to do when she got shaky between hunts. Part one here.

Content warnings for this half:

Nausea, and brief descriptions of prior vomiting

Vague discussion of Daisy’s passive suicidality

Animal cruelty and death: Daisy talks about hunting rats for sport

—

“Statement of Alice ‘Daisy’ Tonner, regarding—”

“Shhhh! You’ll wake the tape recorder.” Her hand clapped over his mouth so hard his teeth buzzed like mugs in a cupboard. He did his best to say Ouch. The salt on her palm made his inner lips itch. Daisy sighed: “Too late; I can hear it hissing.”

At once the cushions began to lurch again, and his stomach contents with them. On her way past him off the couch Daisy managed both to step on his trouser leg and elbow him in the sacrum. Chills curled up in the shadows of heat she’d left on his forehead, stomach, legs. Her way back into her prior position went smoother, though. She even remembered how tightly to press his belly with hers. Why did returned warmth always make him shiver?

“Alright—skip the spiel. Just Ask.”

“What did you used to do when—” Daisy cut him off with a hollow laugh, which Jon seconded. As soon as he’d begun to speak the tape recorder clicked back on, as he’d suspected it would.

“Whatever; just do it.”

“You won’t be too self-conscious?”

She shrugged. “Won’t matter; I’ll be compelled.”

Jon bit down the wave of remorse and resentment her words stirred inside him. She’d agreed to this—cajoled him into it, even. He could examine those feelings later, when she’d gone to bed. When he was alone, and warm, and.

Unbidden into his head came the passage from Tristram Shandy about the “beds of justice.” He’d never read it before, having got through hardly ten pages of that book, and wondered now for half a second how Beholding could have thought this would help, until there thundered across his mind the words, I write one half full,—and t’other fasting;—or write it all full,—and correct it fasting;—or write it fasting; and Jon swallowed, as if that would make it stop. Less than a second later he could feel his stomach trying to expand around it.

Last week he’d tried reading an encyclopedia—vore-ing it, cover to cover. No good; he quit a third of the way in, when it bored him so much he caught himself fantasizing about its giving him a paper cut he’d have to get up to attend to. Eating fear-free trivia was like trying to fill up on tic tacs. Only when stuffed could he even feel it going down.

He told himself if he didn’t Ask her for her story now he’d only spoil his dinner with more useless facts.

“What did you used to do when you got shaky between hunts?”

“I hunted rats around my flat,” Daisy said at once, in the expressionless way of compulsion. In a voice more like her own, she went on, “Not inside, not at first, just—around the dumpsters. First my building’s, and then some nights the whole block. However long it took before I got too slow to enjoy chasing.

“Then one night I thought I saw one dart past in the corridor. So I left out bait for it, half hoping it’d attract more rats into the building. It worked; I found three in there that week.”

“What do you mean bait?”

Again her first sentence emerged as though she were reading it off a list. “Leftovers, mostly. Wasn’t hard—I didn’t have much appetite for” (in one-handed air quotes, with a huff of laughter) “'people food,’ anyway. I’d just make sure to leave a few bites unfinished, and stick them under the mat at the top of the stairs. Sandwich crusts usually, nothing gross. When I got Chinese takeaway I’d use the cabbage they put in the box.”

To make air quotes Daisy’d had to fish her hand out from under the blanket. Now she returned it to its slot on the side of his gut where hip gave way to bloat. Jon almost wished she hadn’t; he feared the reminder might weigh him down. He felt giddy and light, like if he stood and walked, hell, ran, it might not hurt his legs and chest. Like if he flapped his hands instead of wringing them he’d bump the ceiling. For Daisy to comfort his body he’d have to remember he had one.

“How did you catch them? It does—uh.” Whichever Watcher department took charge of compulsion seemed to know his question ended here, because Daisy responded before Jon could finish his follow-up sentence. (It doesn’t sound like you laid traps, he’d meant to say.)

“By the tail. I ran after them and stepped on their tails and then.” She paused for an entire second and closed her eyes tight, but by the time Jon realized what this meant she’d already concluded: “I snapped their spines with my shoe.”

That was all she said, but not all he learnt about it. The Eye let him—made him hear the crunch. For an instant it shared with him the satisfaction Daisy’d felt at the finality of that sound. It had been a sore spot for her, a then-recent wound, how many monsters didn’t die when you broke their necks.

Then her satisfaction left him, and he felt intensely sick.

“Stop—don’t say any more—I’m sorry Daisy, I didn’t—”

She snarled a sigh. “Yeah, I know. Guess I should’ve told you not to ask about that part.”

“Oh. No, it’s. I'm alright, I just meant, it looked like you… didn’t want to tell me that.”

“No I didn’t,” Daisy concurred, in a tone so flat he wondered whether he’d somehow compelled it.

“Is there anything else you don’t—er. What other questions about this would you prefer I didn’t ask.”

She shrugged. “Everything else is fair game.”

“Okay,” Jon said, wishing that answer reassured him more. “You don’t—need a minute, or?”

Again she shrugged. “Yeah, alright. You look like you might, anyway. How’s your gut feeling.”

It took him a moment to realize she meant his actual gut, not like. When he did he answered without thinking: “Not bad? Ignorable, mostly, but. That in itself is.” He looked down at his fingertips for some loose skin to peel. “I’m… stronger, now, already, my. My limbs feel like.”

Daisy nodded. “Like they could carry you without having to think about it.”

“Quite,” Jon agreed, though he wished as soon as the word left his mouth that he’d picked a different one. Something that sounded less like he wanted to talk about the phenomenon’s downside, its sinister implications. He very much did not.

“The rats, did you… eat them?”

“Ew, Jon,” she replied, like it was obvious. “Not literally, no. Didn’t have to. You don’t literally eat statements either, yeah? I just killed them and it… fed me.”

“But didn’t satisfy you,” Jon suggested.

“No. They didn’t make me less hungry, just made it easier to sleep. And they made my belly swell up like yours.” (She patted his; he huffed in pretended offense.) “That’s why I only did it after I’d gone home for the night: it made me slow. I’d know I’d had enough to go to bed when I couldn’t run after them anymore. When I tried to go without—I couldn’t keep my eyes closed. Soon as I stopped thinking about it, they’d fly open. Or at least, it never felt like I slept. Guess I must’ve done, though, ‘cause sometimes I’d find myself chewing on the bedding.” Daisy shook her head, with a sigh interpretable also as a laugh. “Think I’ve started doing that again. I keep finding holes in Basira’s sleeping bag.”

“Not yours, though?” Jon knew she and Basira slept with the edges of their two sleeping bags zipped together. (A frankenbag, Daisy called it.)

Daisy grinned: “No. Hers is a better texture.”

“Thought you said you didn’t remember doing it.”

“I don’t, but mine looks like it’d be grosser to have in your mouth.”

In reality, Jon had never seen her sleeping bag up close, but now Beholding showed him what it looked like. Once kelly green but now faded grayish, like a pond; the fabric was all over pills. It smelled like wood smoke, Ritz crackers, and the lone sock one finds at the bottom of every suitcase.

“That’s fair,” Jon allowed, hoping the strain in his voice would sound to her like a laugh. Somehow this piece of information, about the godforsaken sleeping bag, had brought his stomachache back way above the “ignorable” waterline. The nauseating smell, maybe? He tried to steady himself with a deep breath, but, well.

“You look sick.”

“Was it that obvious?”

“You’re not subtle, Jon,” she scoffed; “you gasp and writhe.”

Jon tried to shrug, tried to laugh. “I’m fine. It’s just… a lot. I’m alright, I’ve just never.” What, been this full? Compelled an eldritch snack after having already eaten his weight in paper? As if that weren’t obvious. He drew in breath to speak, but still hadn’t thought of an end to his sentence. Then he felt Daisy’s hands—both of them—start to dig shallow trenches, one up each of his sick sides. His breath came out in a shaky sigh.

“That help?”

“Yeah.”

Each time they reached his ribs—or, in the left side’s case, the place where his ninth and tenth ribs used to be—her hands turned back, in a slight arc so that they made narrow ovals, each a little closer to his stomach’s center than the last. Until they met in the middle, then worked their way slowly back out to his sides.

“Could you… keep doing that while I hear the rest of your.”

Her laugh had an edge to it that miiiight have been contempt? But she said, “Sure. What do you still want to know?”

“Uh.” He pretended to have to think about it. “Why don’t you hunt rats now?”

“I don’t want to kill things just because they’re weaker than me.” Daisy’s hands had frozen in place while she spoke these words; now they resumed. She sighed, but Jon wasn’t sure at what. “Rats are fine, they don’t need to die.”

“I wouldn’t say they’re fine,” Jon scoffed; “pretty sure they serve the Corruption. They spread hantavirus, ratbite fever, lymphocytic”—he paused to swallow a wave of nausea, hoping it was the ugliness of these facts and not their sheer bulk that sickened him. He hoped also that she’d assume his voice had caught on the pronunciation, rather than. He cleared his throat and continued: “Lymphocytic choriomeningitis, and leptospirosis. And the plague, of course, though not without help from.”

Daisy groaned, her teeth bared to the canines. Jon could feel her fingers curl into fists, though thankfully none of his skin got trapped between her nails and palms. “That’s exactly the kind of judgment I’m trying not to make anymore. They’re—they’re also good, okay? Rats. Had a friend with a rat once, when I was a kid.” For an instant Jon wondered if she meant Calvin Benchley. Then the Eye told him she did. “You can teach them tricks. Like dogs. His knew how to fetch, roll over, go through mazes to find treats. And they’re affectionate, friendly. The tails are weird, but—they have sweet eyes.”

A huff of laughter tumbled out of Jon’s nose. “All animals have sweet eyes. That’s a pretty low bar.”

“Don't flatter yourself.”

The Ceaseless Watcher seemed to side with her on this, showing him the eyes of lemurs, flies, goats, anglerfish (the regular kind).

“Either way, I hardly think that outweighs the plague.”

“That doesn’t matter,” Daisy insisted, still sounding querulous. She’d retracted her hands now, and held them balled together close to her chest—like Jon himself did when he felt too shy to stim outright. If they hadn’t been talking about rats the attitude probably wouldn’t’ve struck him as rat-like, but.

“It doesn’t always need to matter which one of those things is more important,” she went on. “It feels like it does, but—sometimes that’s just a habit we get into. Some things just are, okay? I like not having to think about it anymore.”

“Right, that makes sense, we can….”

“Besides. I didn’t care about any of that when I was hunting them. The diseases or whether they’re part of the Filth or whatever. I just knew they were gross, and that people were scared of them. That’s the main reason I killed monsters, too.”

“What if you just… caught them and let them go?”

“Monsters?”

“No, rats.”

“I don’t want a substitute, Jon. I’m alright going cold turkey.”

“But it’s not cold turkey, it’s—no turkey.”

Daisy looked at him for the first time in what felt like a while, and smiled, but furrowed her eyebrows. “Just what do you think ‘cold turkey’ means?”

“I know there’s no actual turkey,” Jon sighed, trying to ignore the Eye’s barrage of suggestions for where the phrase might have originated. God, his stomach hurt. He missed having her hands there to rub away some of this nausea and ache. Wondered what he could say to bring them back. Doing it himself at a time like this would’ve felt so. “I just mean, withdrawal is—different. It can kill you, but you’re still abstaining from something that people in general don’t need to live.”

“Aaaand you think people in general need the Hunt.”

“Of course not. I know you know what I’m getting at,” Jon persisted. “You’re talking about starvation—which, unless for some reason the Fears are too sentimental to throw their old husks away, means it will kill you. Not just—‘can.’”

“Maybe. Probably, yeah. If some monster doesn’t come around to kick me off the wagon first. I’ve told you that before, though.”

“…Okay. Yes, you have, that’s. Yes. So then—?”

“What?”

“Why are you giving me a statement!?”

“To commiserate,” Daisy recited first, in the flat tone of compulsion—and then, “Shhh!”

“Tape recorder’s already on.”

“Yeah but Basira’s out there; she might—be asleep. It’s not a statement,” said Daisy. “Just a story.”

As usual Jon let himself fall into the trap. Was it a statement? By Institute standards, maybe not; he wasn’t sure it counted as a supernatural encounter, except from the rats’ perspective. And most of the fear in it was the rats’, too. He supposed you could call it an encounter with her own changing nature? Statement of Alice ‘Daisy’ Tonner, regarding her supernatural hunger and how she.

“But why would you feed me a story when the answer you come to at the end of it is that it’s better to starve?”

This time he didn’t mean to compel her—was sure he’d phrased it indirectly enough not to. But Jon was surer yet Daisy wouldn’t have given the answer she did except under compulsion:

“Because I felt sorry for you.” Then she winced, bared her teeth, shook her head; Jon wondered if she’d felt that one. It seemed like people usually didn’t—just heard themselves speak words they hadn’t meant to, and surmised what had happened from that. But maybe after so many in a row she’d begun to feel the static.

“For what? Why?”

“For feeling evil. Because it reminded me of me.” In her own voice: “Think maybe I wanted it off my chest, too.”

So, what? The moral high ground was alright for her, but he was too weak for it? Or, or not, what, spiritually advanced enough to walk that plane? Because he hadn’t been conscious for his six-month limbo between life and death, like she’d been in the coffin?

“But you resist, so—? Why wouldn’t you think I should starve too?” On the ocean floor of his stomach something evil emerged from its hole. “Hhh—wait, don’t answer that, I’m—”

Too late. “Because eating the statements doesn’t hurt anything. The ones already written down—just recording them, it’s harmless. And you can’t give me bad dreams anymore, so—ugh.” Jon opened his eyes to find Daisy clawing at her temples. She shook her head, to the extent she could without knocking into his. “I told you I'm trying not to do that anymore.”

I’m not ready, Jon had meant to say. But seeing how little she liked having answered, he wished he could claim it was for her sake he’d tried to stop her.

He still wasn’t ready to hear or think or talk about this, really. The top half of his belly seared with such pain he couldn’t think straight; lower down it squirmed. He felt perilously sick. His whole body wanted so badly to curl into a ball that his legs wouldn’t quit twitching against Daisy’s. He pressed his elbows into his sides, while his hands hovered, pathetically he was sure, just over the top and center of a stomach he feared would pounce if he dared touch it.

But he felt like owed her some proof he’d been listening. “Do…?”

“Judge people. Decide what’s right for them.”

“I see,” Jon lied; that was all he could manage for now. In truth he needed a break before he could even parse what she had said.

“Turns out I can’t lie to myself under compulsion either. I didn’t think that was the reason?—thought I was just not judging you.”

“I think”—he pushed himself back from her, sure for a second that he was about to be sick. It passed, but his breath caught on it as on panic, so he couldn’t pretend it hadn’t happened.

Especially not since Daisy too shot upright, her nails loudly scraping the cushion behind her as she hurled herself against it. “Shit—turn around—not on the couch—”

“I’m okay, it’s.” He did turn around, just to ease her mind, but the motion required had quite the opposite effect on him. Jon heard the sounds of ragged breath and whimpering, then recognized his own voice behind them.

Daisy’s hands came to perch one on the back of his shoulder, the other on his side between rib and pelvis. “Don’t worry about it, just get it out. We’ll clean it up later—just like last time, remember?” The fingertips of the hand on his side twitched back and forth at his stomach’s very outer edge.

“N—o, I.” He swallowed. “I think I’m alright.” Tried opening his eyes. Nope, not ready. His breath shuddered again. Daisy’s hands vanished from his shoulder and side; he heard the flapping sound of a blanket being shaken out, then felt it flutter and settle on top of him. Must’ve got dislodged when he rolled over, though he was warm enough now he hadn’t noticed. Dimly he recognized this as a victory.

Her hand moved to stroke his back; she kept saying Shhh, but not in the harsh way she had earlier. “You, uh.” Again Jon swallowed, though what ailed him was a lack of spit rather than excess of it. “You weren’t nearly this nice last time.”

“What?” The hand on his back stilled. “I was too! I tied your hair back for you! I let you ruin my jumper by wiping your pukey mouth on it! I sat with you, on the cold hard floor, in front of the toilet, and let you babble all your egghead theories to me about vomit and the Corruption, even though I’d been sick not two days before, and could barely stand the smell even without you philosophizing about it—”

“No, I meant—the time before, when you. Never mind.”

“Oh—when I had to clean it up?” Jon nodded, hoping she’d be able to tell that from the back of his head. “Yeah, well. Guess I like you better now.”

“Can’t imagine why.”

“Me neither.” And yet she scooted closer to him, hooking her chin over his shoulder. Her hand came to rest on his belly again, its heel in the hollow at the edge of his pelvis. “This okay? You alright with touch right now?”

In response Jon felt around for her hand. When he found it he slotted his fingers between hers, pulled her hand to a sicker-feeling place a few inches higher up, and left his there on top of it.

“Right,” Daisy laughed—“my mistake.” She dragged their combined hands very gently back and forth across the place he’d brought them to. “This where you’re feeling yuckiest?”

His breath caught again, but with surprise and relief this time. With his free hand Jon covered his eyes, willing himself not to think about how ridiculous he must seem to her right now. “That’s, er. That’s perfect, yes.”

“Sure.”

“Though actually—do you think—maybe a slightly… longer stroke?”

Again she laughed. Her hand went limp under his. “Backseat driver. Alright, show me how it’s done.”

It took him a minute to determine that himself. He tried pulling her hand back and forth past his navel, but that grated against something sharp inside. Supposed he couldn’t consult the Oracle for this. Up and down, maybe? Yes, that would do. Or a circle perhaps. Anti-clock—? No, clockwise, definitely. Much better.

Once they’d got that sorted out, Jon said, “I wonder if… you’d let me Ask. One more question.”

“Seriously? I can feel how stuffed you are; how could you possibly want more? Five minutes ago you nearly puked.”

“I’m just—curious, alright? I won’t be sick, I promise.”

“Fine.”

“Did you ever… throw them up?”

“I didn’t eat them, Jon. Told you that already.”

“Alright, poor choice of words. Did you ever—” he tried to think how best to phrase it. “When you threw up regular… people food. Did something of the rats ever come up with it?”

“Yeah. I only got sick once in the time I was doing it, but, I think so, yeah. Thought I was just really out of it at the time though. They didn’t make me sick, I don’t think—just another stomach bug, like the one I gave you. One of those bugs where everything has to come out? And it came on me in the middle of the night, so the last thing I’d”—a pause to sigh; her hand slipped out of his, presumably to make air quotes, but then took it again before he could think of somewhere else to put it—“‘eaten’ was the rats. Not as many as usual; I was already feeling slow that evening. But, yeah. They… it wasn’t their actual bodies, though, okay? I thought I was just dry heaving at first—you know when you’re hanging over the toilet bowl because you know you’re gonna be sick—”

Jon squirmed, fighting a temptation to cover his ears. “Yes, thank you, I’m familiar with—”

“—but you can’t get anything solid up yet, you just retch and drool and cough into the bowl. Well it started then, and then, some of it got mixed up with my sandwich. It was like I… felt their fear, like I—became them, for a second. Each one of them.”

She’d been right; it was too much. God, please don’t make him be the rat! Jon bit his lip ducked his head to his chest curled his toes bent his knees, anything, trying to barricade the doors against the onslaught of information. He pressed his and Daisy’s combined hands hard into the place where his stomach jutted forth from ribs for fear if he didn’t try to equalize the pressure inside from without he might burst like a sheep in clover and flood this whole room in half-ruminated text, a cloud of serifed letters scuttling heinously all over himself and Daisy like half-formed spiders.

“I don’t know how I knew that’s what it was,” Daisy went on. “It wasn’t like I saw the scene again, or heard the crunch, or felt the. Anything like that. I just—was the rat. I was prey. Just for a second. And knew that I—me, as in.” Again her hand slipped out of his. “The Hunter, was about to kill me. And… then it faded and I was me again until the next one.”

Her hand returned to the dome at the top of his gut where he’d last set it, but its ghosts on his palm and between his fingers remained cold. She brushed the hand up and down his belly, airily—oblivious to how its muscles clenched and undulated. Jon panted and forced himself to focus on her hand and nothing else. How it bumped and shuddered when his stomach’s shape morphed under it. How at the end of his every exhale her touch became so light it tickled. This was the present Daisy, and the present Jon. Here on this couch in the Institute basement. Both thin, her bony ilium pressed closer to his sacroiliac joint than was quite comfortable. Warm, except up one leg where the blanket let in a draft.

The one who’d tried to prey on him was long gone. If anything he was the one feeding on her, now. And they just laid on the couch together, massaging her horrors into more comfortable shapes inside him.

“That enough?”

Jon grunted an incredulous huff. “Too much,” he admitted, unable to keep the strain out of his voice. “You were right—I, uh. Didn’t know stomachaches came this size.”

Her laugh sounded affectionate. The lines up and down his stomach morphed into circles around it. “Ha—look how much higher your belly comes up on this side. That must be where your ribs were.”

“Yes, I’ve. Noticed that before, thanks.”

“Think you’ll keep it all down?”

“Hope so.”

“Good luck. Wouldn’t want you to have to relive the rats again.”

Oh, god.

“The less said about it the—better I’ll feel, I think.”

“Well that’s a change,” Daisy mused, patting his stomach as though in summation. “I should get to bed. Be alright on your own?”

“Er.” No, no, no, god please no, not alone yet with all these? “Yes, alright. I should be fine.”

She laughed again. “I’ll stay til you fall asleep.”

--

(For Daisy’s take on “the time before,” when she had to clean up his vomit, see Abyss of Possibilities; to view the drawing in less-bad resolution, see this post)

#stuffing #hunger kink #nausea #stomachache #a shifty tract #nonsearchable tma tag #me: writes a story about eating information #also me: god why is this so LONG why did i have to go off on so many TANGENTS #uhhhhhhh hm let's think

[churchyardgrim]

KING OF THE DEAD by Gene DeWeese

[intro post]

oh boy, oh happy day, i get to talk about Azalin Rex

this book does some fun stuff with mild fakeouts and starting at the end and then jumping back to the beginning in a way where it's not immediately clear how one connects to the other, but it's not done in such a way that it's meant to pull the wool over the reader's eyes, which is good bc i already knew the end twist going in and lemme tell u it is very satisfying watching our charming protag charge headlong and heedlessly towards his own doom

Firan Zal'Honen is a wizard! he's the very best wizard who ever wizarded, and currently he has no idea where he came from or why he's not there anymore or what the fuck just happened

all he knows is, he was tortured with visions for a bit, as one does, and then the mist spat him out in a place called Darkon, and the guy in charge of Darkon, helpfully named Darcalus, is the object of Firan's utter and all consuming loathing, and also killed his son probably

so Firan does what any reasonable wizard would do and enlists the help of some local coup-organizers to weasel his way into the upcoming Met Gala for all the governors in this place. he sneaks out of the approved areas, argues with the ghost of his son for a bit, barges in some places he's not supposed to be, and finally finds what he's been after: the object containing the soul of his nemesis, without which Darcalus, an undead wretch, is mortal and vulnerable

smashy smashy!

unfortunately this is Ravenloft, where the universe can and will bend over backwards to fuck you over, and Firan has some conspicuous gaps in his memory. gaps that are helpfully filled when the punchup with Darcalus turns into a merging of souls and minds and oh shit, thats you Firan buddy! the thing you were hellbent on revenge for? you did all that!

and now the book takes 150 pages to explain itself, going down the laundry list of Firan's life up to this point. this is less interesting to me than what just happened, so suffice to say he was a stubborn and prideful magical prodigy that ended up the wizard-king ruler of a country called Knurl out in the prime material plane

the man's lawful evil all the way down, having some uhhhhhhh lets say draconian ideas about how to maintain peace and order, and yes it does involve a lot of beheadings how did u guess. eventually he figures out that magic can't, in fact, keep him kicking forever, and puts some effort into getting himself an heir. 

there's a frankly hilarious bit where he has a crisis of confidence upon realizing that a decade of trying has produced no viable results, and despite having mastery of the unquenchable fire of the stars he apparently never learned the Scan Ur Dick spell, so the problem might just be you, Firan, did u ever think of that before blaming ur wife

anyway turns out his wife did in fact curse his dick so once he got that taken care of he gets himself a lovely lil scion to raise in his perfect mirror image

shockingly, this goes as follows: 

Firan: "my son! i will teach you to rule as i do, with a fair and just iron fist!"

Irik: "hm. consider, tyranny bad? oh cool ur not listening immmmm just gonna go join the rebels real quick"

Firan: "........."

Firan: "anyway i need to execute you now"

Irik: "cool. i forgive you btw."

Firan, an hour later: [great sobbing wizard tantrum about how his son's dead now]

me: [also great sobbing wizard tantrum about how his son's dead now]

seriously, despite being the world's stupidest smart person, and also objectively evil, this guy has a lot of pathos! i feel for this idiot! i wanna shake him by the lapels and make him acknowledge how much he actually cares for his son!

the big thing here is he's baked Lawfulness into his own nature to the point where any emotion that doesn't follow what his idea of a Proper Ruler should be gets ruthlessly cauterized. except it doesn't work like that, you prick, so he ends up eating his own tail about how he did exactly the right thing, his only fault was not raising irik to be a "stronger" prince, and thats why he feels like his heart is breaking from grief and guilt.

except it can't be guilt bc he did nothing wrong. do u see the problem here.

anyway this is where the quote unquote Dark Powers get involved. they coerce Firan into taking the next step on his Foolproof Live Forever Through Positive Thinking And Magic plan, and one really bad baja blast later the man's a fullblown lich

lich powers! necromancy! shame the only form he's capable of bringing his son back to life in is a wretched rotting shadow of true life, in constant agony and despair, and not even Firan is gonna settle for that

so back to the drawing board! he spends the next few decades scouring the continent for magical secrets and tales of resurrection, trying to find a way to bring his son back properly and gain atonement for both of them

eventually the mists take him and drop him into Barovia, bc Strahd's the fuckign welcome wagon for new arrivals i guess, and Firan, by now called Azalin, sets up shop in Castle Ravenloft for forty fuckign years

they were tombmates

oh my god, they were tombmates

to my unending outrage, the book spends barely a chapter on this period. give me more damn you! show me the petty squabbles, the arguments over who keeps leaving corpses in the hallway, the lingering sexual tension on movie nights! i deserve to know who tops goddammit!

but no, we just skip to Azalin chasing after a mirage into the mists four decades later, and then uhhhhhh getting split in two? like when a cartoon character gets zapped with a science laser and splits into Good Half and Evil Half? except it's Human Half and Lich Half, which hate each other on instinct

and we're back at the beginning! with human Firan acting on his loathing for the lich Darcalus, only to fuse together again and force him to confront the fact that the person he holds such hatred and anger for is himself

thus, Azalin Rex settles into his final form. a wretched, undead genius, locked in his own prison domain and given a country to rule the way one gives a highly maladjusted macaw a rubix cube with a peanut hidden inside

in conclusion, i am now in the stage of grief labeled "memes"

#church's ravenloft reviews #king of the dead #guys i love this book so much #i love this IDIOT so much #he's an awful awful person and he's my poor little meow meow no i will not be taking questions at this time

[nexility-sims]

historical simblr tag game

i’m pretty sure @cassimopeia tagged me a million years ago, and i have no idea who’s done it already, so i’ll tag ... @simming-in-the-rain and @funkyllama​ and literally anyone else who sees this and wants to join :^) more of you should be history simmers, so like ... get on it ! 

 1. what has been your favorite time period to play in or which one are you most excited for?

oof ! i loved the 1890s-1910s because i got to live out my gilded age dreams with the og generation of my legacy family—as i say every day, i can’t wait to catch back up to them, whenever i finally do more casual gameplay. the bancrofts are technically stuck in the 1840s and 2010s. looking forward to getting through the civil war era ! as far as the story is concerned, i’m fantasizing about the fifties and sixties but also someday reaching present day ... 

2. do you have a favorite piece of historical cc?

hm. this is too hard. can i just list my favorite creators instead ?? everything by happylifesims gilded-ghosts, and linzlu make me immeasurably happy. 

3. who is your favorite sim currently?

beatriz. she’s spicy, a lil unhinged, a big meanie. goddess. 

4. what is your favorite world?

windenburg or sulani? i used to hate oasis springs but then i decided to set my story in a desert-y place for some godforsaken reason, so it’s growing on me. brindleton bay or whatever it’s called is, for me personally, also v/ underrated.   5. are you more gameplay or story focused?

story, tragically ! i miss gameplay, but i also feel like i won’t be able to avoid using poses and stuff even when i decide to return to my legacy gameplay. EXHIBIT A.  6. do you like to play with pets in your historical saves?

there are a few in my legacy gameplay; the ... second set of founders who are actually the real founders had a dog whose name i forgot, and talullah has a cat called sugarplum. jered and his family have a dog, who’s actually francesca’s, and his name is damien. i always forget about the pets, which means my sims forget about them, and so i don’t involve many. love to make them chase after strays tho ...  7. what's your biggest immersion breaking pet peeve with the game?

echoing tara that cell phones SUCK. honestly, tho, it’s probably when ugly townies i forgot to delete wander into the frame. makes me livid, u kno.  8. what's your favorite in-game historical item?

idk what this question means bc it’s 5:30pm on a wednesday BUT i like the clothesline and the wash basin from laundry day or whatever it’s called.  9. what would you like to see as a new pack or asset to the game?

uhhhhhhh ... more non-western build items ? it’s limiting when it comes to worldbuilding !   10. what pack do you think is invaluable as a historical simmer?

tbh, i feel like there’s not one that i would miss for history-related reasons. the laundry day stuff is helpful, like i mentioned, but idk ...  11. do you have a favorite mod to enhance historical gameplay?

this is random and more a general gameplay thing, but the one that lets you make groups bigger without earning points or whatever is ... so good. i put all of my family members in a group, and then i can make them have family get togethers all the time ! i honestly haven’t done gameplay in so long, i’ve forgotten how to answer this question.  12. what's your ideal family size for playing?

five or six, i guess? enough that i can despise one of them, periodically ignore them, and alternate between who’s my favorite of the week. i get bored if i don’t have enough family members to mess with, which i think is why i like to keep track of the extended family.  13. do you use poses?

with the story, absolutely ! with my legacy stuff ... originally, no, because i was doing purely gameplay stuff and only sharing screenshots with my irl friend. more recently, i’ve done some staged posts with jered, so i guess somewhat? when i actually play with my legacy saves, no poses. but, like i said, that might change going forward bc i’m obsessed with them. i have a whole storyline to play through anyway, so like ... insert kissy face emoji.

14. do you use any overrides in your game?

probably ?? my mods folder is a mystery to me, i s2g

15. do you, or did you, play off-the-grid during your game?

never tried it ! maybe sometime. 

16. what lifespan do you play on?

long. i get attached ! occasionally i switch to normal. aging is off for story things since i move things along manually according to the pace of the story. the death of my legacy sims is always a whole entire affair, so i like to prologue it. for example, jered’s father was my main sim for literal years, so i had a few real human tears when he died dhsjkflgs

17. what inspired you to start playing historically?

downton abbey. :^) 

#sleepwalking thru this bc i need to clean out my drafts #I MISS MY GAMEPLAY BABIES #tbh the only reason i don't mess with them #is because transferring the files from my external hard drive is hellish #sigh

[whatamidoingwithmylifeman]

MK OC Movie jokes

My OCs belong to me... the rest of the characters belong to Ed Boon and Simon McQuoid

Also, as a reminder, Reiki is genderfluid and uses she/him pronouns. So I will switch between the two

Bi Han: This year, I lost my dear friend Michiko Michiko, from the void: QUIT TELLING EVERYONE I'M DEAD! Bi Han: Sometimes, I can still hear her voice.

------

Klaudia: Hey thanks for letting me stay with you in your trailer for a bit. Sonya: You know you can live here right? Klaudia: Really? I have to say I am impressed by this place. Usually every place I've been to always has something wrong with it. But this place seems perf- Klaudia: *sees Kano tied up to a chair* Klaudia: And there it is!

------

Hanzo: You know I never did find my student all those centuries ago. Raiden: I'm sure he'll turn up somewhere Reiki: *sneezes from behind them* Hanzo: *turns around* Takanawa!? Reiki: Fuck he found me! *running off* Hanzo: *chasing her* GET BACK HERE YOUNG WARRIOR! YOU HAVE A LOT OF EXPLAINING TO DO!

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Reiki: In hindsight, I thought that would actually help him. Liu Kang: YOU SET KUNG LAO'S INSIDES ON FIRE! Reiki: I actually meant do that to his soul so Shang Tsung wouldn't steal it. Liu Kang: HOW DOES THAT MAKE THIS BETTER?!

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Shang Tsung: If Raiden finds out you can shapeshift, he's going to tell the Elder Gods! *later on* Jax: Hey Kristy, what's your power? Kristy: What? What power? I don't even have a mark! What makes you think I have a power if I don't have a mark?! Kung Lao: It's on your neck. We can all see it. Kristy: *nervously* yOu CaN!?

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Cole: You seem really familiar. Have I met you somewhere before? Reiki: uhhhhhhh Nozomi: *mutters* shit! gotta play my part in keeping her backstory in suspense! *out loud* Hey Cole you wanna a distraction? Cole: Oh boy, do I!

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Bi Han: So Michiko is alive? Shang Tsung: Yes Bi Han: And she's with Raiden's team? Shang: Yes- Shang Tsung: BI HAN WHERE ARE YOU GOING?! Bi Han: *stepping through a portal to Raiden's temple* NOWHERE.... Shang Tsung: *groans* Alright, guess we're invading now-

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Shang Tsung: Hey Bi Han... is there something you're forgetting to mention about your friend? Bi Han: No, why do you ask? *way later* Michiko, in her true form: Surprise, I was actually a demon the whole time- Shang Tsung: I FUCKING KNEW IT!

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Kabal, cuddling a terrified Kristy: I say this invasion was a success! Mileena, concerned: *sucks in through her teeth and pops her lips* My guy we need to talk!

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Raiden, seeing Nozomi and Shang Tsung wearing matching rings: Is there something you wanna tell me young lady? Nozomi: Hm? What? No! Nozomi, trying to take her ring off: *grumbling* stupid fucking- Shang Tsung: I told you it wouldn't come off that easily. Nozomi: *glaring at him* I hate you so much right now! Shang Tsung: Love you too dear.

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Klaudia: Oh this ain't gonna end up like last time. Kano: Ya sure about that doll face? Klaudia: Positive asshole! *sometime later* Klaudia, laying naked next to Kano: SHIT!

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Kristy after seeing Jax getting his arms ripped off by Bi Han: Hey dude are you ok? Jax: Oh yeah! My arms hurt a little but other- Jax: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK!?

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Kristy: *gasp* HOW COULD YOU! Kano, after accidentally breaking a cricket bat: K Kristy! It's not what you thi- Kristy: I'M TELLING KLAUDIA! Kano: *running after her* NONONONONONONONONO-

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Kristy: So uh.. problem Cole: problem? what problem? Kristy: I can't drive. Jax: Nonsense! You're a great driver! You did a great job yesterday Kristy: That was yesterday. Kristy: In the middle of nowhere. Kristy: With no other cars or pedestrians around. Jax: What are you getting at? Kristy: ... *nervous sweating* Jax: Kristy.... Kristy: *gulps* Jax: Moore! Kristy: *blurts* Idonthavelicense! Jax: What!? Sense when!? Kristy: Oh sense... *counts on her fingers then stops* When do people usually get their license? Jax: YOU NEVER GOT YOUR LICESNCE?! Kristy: I'M LEGALLY NOT ALLOWED TO THANKS TO MY MEDICAL HISTORY! Allison: Hi, I hate to interrupt this lovely conversation. But I think we should be less concerned about the legal matters of who's gonna be driving the car and more concerned ABOUT THE 6FT ICE WIELDING MANIAC WHO'S TRYING TO KILL US!

@feistyfandomthings

@dontunderestimatemypoison

@that-one-snake

@thevoidwriting

@tora-lotus

@yuvononik

@loverofthewindgod

@ninibear3000

#mk oc michiko #mk oc reiki #mk oc nozomi #mk oc klaudia #mk oc kristy #mk 2021 bi han #mk 2021 hanzo #mk 2021 raiden #mk 2021 sonya #mk 2021 kano #mk 2021 liu kang #mk 2021 kung lao #mk 2021 cole #mk 2021 shang tsung #mk 2021 mileena #mk 2021 kabal #mk 2021 allison #jokes #skits

[honeysidesarchived]

🌝 😐👀🍰 for the fic asks?

ahhh MIKATRON ily <3 <3

🌝 who is one character you haven’t yet written for that you would like to?

i want to spend more time with the resistance members!!! specifically more of the guns for hire. they all just have incredibly unique voices and the reason why i ousted them right off the bat in the beginning of ell's canon is because i was still brand new to the game and so worried about fucking it up LOL. but yeah i definitely want to explore like, jess and grace and (yes) hurk. ;^;

😐 what embarrasses you most about your own writing?

ugh so i type like.....140wpm or something, and so frequently i will go through old stuff and find a THOUSAND spelling or grammar errors that are purely because i type too fast for my brain to catch them. this is also indicative of how i talk irl. uhh also i think i use the word 'fucking' too much lmao

👀 do you have any wips that you would never let see the light of day? if yes, what are they about?

AH YES. I SEE WE ARE OUTING ASH FOR HER POOR TASTE TODAY, MIKA. uhhhhhhh hm. i think....probably the one guzma/kalei'ah smut oneshot i have written? or at the very least it would have to be HEAVILY edited/touched up before i posted it anywhere. there's also a few roman/varya aus that are fairly lengthy but will probably never see the light of day because folks did not follow me for romya content dkjfhdkjf

🍰 name one of your fave comfort fics (doesn’t have to be your all time fave).

by the light of the moon by my wifey @shallow-gravy is my go-to cheer-up fic. the PINING, m'lord, UGH is it good! also, kiss my mouth; hell is here by @sailormoonweaver. it's just so so so good. i go back to it all the time!

#ask games #ash.txt #johnnycranes #i love the Exposing we are doing here

[paradisecost]

💭 Silver and Darcy 💭 Frank and uhh Vlad lol why not 💭 Geralt and Bull 💭 Jaskier and Bull 💭 Atticus and Varric 💭 Eric and Darcy

💭 Silver and Darcy

You're the only one who sees me, aren't you? You may be the only one who ever did. There are no illusions with you. There's no point in them.

I can't tell if it's a burden, or a relief.

💭 Frank and Vlad

When the fuck did those glasses come back into style anyway, Jesus that hair.

There's somethin kinda ... hm.

Nah. Just some weirdo European or something, it's nothing. It's nothing, Castle, keep your head straight. Relax. Curt said it's hypervigilance makes you think everything's a threat. It's fine.

One batch, two batch, penny and a dime, one batch, two batch, penny and a he's clocked you fuck okay let's do this

💭 Geralt and Bull

Horns that big, he should be knocking into shit wherever he goes.

Kinda feels like he's compensating for something.

💭 Jaskier and Bull

The narrator would like to state that it is deliberately omitting some of Jaskier's train of thought and shortening it, because otherwise it would be here for the next three hours trying to write it all down, and the narrator is trying to love itself.

Melitele's swollen areolas that is an ENORMOUS beast. Man. Beast-man??? Gods what are they called again, that HAS to be offensive--who CARES Julian, LOOK at him. What a SPECIMEN. Oooooo I could write a song about this couldn't I, let's see, uhhhhhhh

B...ig horns, big co--NO that won't do.

💭 Atticus and Varric

Are you ever in the stories, or do you just write them?

Sounds kind of lonely.

💭 Erik and Darcy

Useful, but obnoxious.

#ic: silver #ic: frank #ic: geralt #ic: jaskier #ic: atticus #ic: erik #dilffactory #[ JAZZHANDS!!!! ] #lemony ment//

[augustmourn]

💖 👀 😈 🧠

💖 What do you like most about your own writing?

Oh, god, self-compliments. I like the variety I'm capable of? I've done body horror, angst, fluff, romance.... for porn I've done sweet and vanilla, sweet but *not* vanilla, extreme dubcon and brutal noncon. And while I haven't done it as often lately, I like being able to write to other people's taste for exchanges, it's really fun to see how much stuff someone likes I can put into a fic.

👀 Do you have any WIPs that you would never let see the light of day? If yes, what are they about?

uhhhhhhh I'm not sure.... there's stuff I thought I would never publish but ended up doing so, and most of what I have actual words for are in the same kind of area. The only thing I can think of is like, being really embarrassed about liking the source material -- I've written a little bit of fic for Cassandra Clare books and I'm :/ about that. Oh -- actually, I wrote a short pwp a few years ago that was 1. father/son incest and 2. trans fic that felt kinda..... uhh :/ to me at the time so I probably would leave it in the drawer and not publish a "getting fucked to forget dysphoria" fic I wrote in high school when I didn't know any trans people.

😈 Is there anything you enjoy doing that you think your readers hate?

Answered already but Scorp was like "actually I meant spite/fic to piss people off" so yes good point -- I wrote an incest AU half because it was hot and half because people in that fandom already hated me so what was the point in holding back.

🧠 What’s an idea you have that you can’t quite call a WIP yet?

Hm... I have a few Carl/Negan AU scenarios kicking around in my head and some of them have a handful of words but def not enough to be a real WIP/no real planning, so probably those. They're like, abusive teacher/student AUs mostly.

send me emojis!!

#iluuuuu #ask games #hearthouses