#me: writes a story about eating information

[live-laugh-lenney]

Hello! Can you write a story where George or Arthur messes up and they like totally grovel over the reader? I feel like they would beg for forgiveness 😆

ohh, god lord. can you imagine the amount of grovelling?

arthur didn't mean to forget.

he was never a forgetful person; if he knew his plans were going to overrun or if he knew he'd double-booked himself, he would always make it his problem to deal with and sort out.

but with multiple video shoots happening that week that kept him busy, from a sidemen shoot to a podcast recording and then back to his own channel before he partook in a reacts video for someone else on their channel, the planned dinner with her parents had just slipped his mind.

when he walked through the front door of their flat, he was greeted with the laughter and the chatter of company. and it's in that given moment, when he sees her mum's handbag hanging on a coat hook beside her dad's coat, that he knows what he had forgotten. that he knows he messed up... big time.

rounding the corner and stepping foot in the open-plan living space of their flat, he was greeted with the biggest smile from her mum and a welcoming handshake from her dad... lessening the guilt in his belly until he was met with a fake smile and darkened eyes from yn. and the guilt only bubbled more viciously because he knew he couldn't dig himself out of this one easily.

"yn said you'd gotten stuck in a meeting with your work team, lovely. that's such a shame," her mum coos softly and she pulls arthur in for a loving hug that was tight and secure, his own arms enveloping her in a warm hug, "i know you insisted we had this dinner without you but it didn't feel the same."

he swallows back the lump in his throat and the guilt felt even worse. she lied on his behalf and made it out to be an unfortunate accident when, truly, it had simply slipped his mind. the smile on her mum's lips made him want the ground to swallow him whole. his eyes dart over to yn who occupied herself in clearing away the dirtied dessert plates from the tabletop - and he remembered her telling him that morning, before he left, how she was baking a coffee and walnut cake for them all to enjoy that night.

"we'll have to organise another one, i'm so sorry," arthur apologises before helping clean up the table, collecting the empty glasses and the cutlery that yn had left behind, "i'll cook next time since yn did this. it smells delightful."

"we had your favourite dinner, kiddo," her dad informs him and arthur looks at yn as she tries her hardest not to let her emotions get the better of her, "she's a good'un, our yn. even baked us a cake."

"she's the best," arthur smiles at her.

and he was hoping for a slight smile back in his direction to know he was off the hook and they'd talk about the whole evening later on... except he doesn't and all he sees is her jaw clench and tighten, her eyes rolling discreetly, head staying low as she piles everything up on the counter beside the sink.

they said goodbye to her parents soon after with kisses, hugs and handshakes being exchanged as well as a promise of taking an entire day off so he didn't have to miss another meal planned with them. except, deep down, he felt the guilt beginning to eat away at his insides and he knew he was minutes away from being made to feel even worse.

the door closed and before he could get his apology out, she was first to break the silence.

"don't speak to me for the night."

"yn-"

"what did i just say to you?" she sneers at him and he stares at her with sorrow in his eyes, hoping that she would come round and give him the chance to explain everything; from how he felt overworked from a week of non-stop work to how he got confused with the dates to how he wanted to make it up to her for being a forgetful muppet. "don't talk to me. i don't want to talk to you tonight."

"if you let me explain then-"

"it'll just be excuse after excuse coming out of your mouth, arthur."

he follows her around the flat like a lost puppy, scared to lose her but also wanting to plea for his forgiveness and to explain, not with the hopes of being forgiven right away but with the hopes of being understood, because he really and truly never meant to miss out on the evening with her parents. stands beside her as she washes up the dishes in the sink, watching her as if he was waiting for her orders on what she wanted him to do, mind racing as he tried to come up with the most calmest way to explain everything.

"the shoot overran. the taxi for the way home got stuck in the rush-hour traffic on its way to pick us up and we were miles from a tube station," he tries to take the plate from her hand so he could dry it and put it away but she refuses his help, placing it down on the side and swatting his hand away when he tried to pick it up, "by the time it arrived, we'd been waiting an hour for it at the site."

"doesn't help me in understanding why you never showed up. not even a text. i had to lie, arthur. to my parents!"

"i know and i'm sorry you had to do that," he places a hand on the base of her back and uses his thumb to rub gentle circles into the tee on her back, "truthfully, i did forget. okay? i forgot but-"

"i know you forgot," she huffs heavily and moves from his touch, his hand still lingering where it was once placed on her back, "please, just don't come near me. don't touch me. don't talk to me. i'm angry with you so please let me be angry with you."

"i don't want you to be," he frowns.

"then you should have thought of that before you skipped on dinner," she retorts back to him and his shoulders slump in defeat, "i'm just so upset with you."

the whole night was spent apart.

and, truth be told, they hated it.

yn hated how she still wanted to be close to him, even though he had made her feel anger. hiding in the bedroom with her laptop opposed to the television because he had taken refuge on the sofa and chosen a documentary she didn't want to intrude upon. she understood how hectic his schedule could be at times and she understood that, sometimes, he was tired and he needed reminding of things... it was a minor mistake but it had upset her and she needed her feelings to be validated and she wanted him to understand how hurt she felt.

arthur hated how he had made the mistake that lead them to being apart. sleeping on the sofa so she had all the time in the world to feel better and feel angry without him being there to add fuel to the fire. it was forgivable, what he did, but it wasn't forgettable and he knew she'd be upset for a while with the situation.

the next morning, he was awake early.

he ran to the corner shop to grab her some flowers, to grab her a card, to grab ingredients for breakfast so he could surprise her and a little goody-bag of her favourite snacks to show her just how sorry he was for what had happened. deciding on breakfast pancakes, with her favourite fruits and syrup, writing a long-winded message in the card that could explain better than he could if she was looking at him whilst he spoke it verbally.

and when she rose from her slumber, ready to forgive him, he was prepared with a table full of a surprises.

"good morning," he smiles sheepishly and she lets her eyes wander over the pile of pancakes in the middle of the table beside bowls of fruit and bottles of maple-syrup, "i made breakfast."

"you made a feast," she giggles softly, stepping towards the dining table and reaching for the card that he'd leant against a jar of nutella, "what's this?"

"it's my apology. i figured i could write it better than i could say it so," he walks towards her and sets his hands on the back of a chair, pulling it out from under the table and letting her sit down, tucking her underneath before he sat beside her, "i really am so sorry for forgetting our plans."

"it's okay," she pulls the card from the envelope and lets her eyes scan over the paragraph of his writing, her mouth soundless speaking every word he had written on the piece of paper, "i figured you were just stressed and tired. i was never going to stay angry at you."

she squeezes his knee softly and looks at him.

"i made reservations at that new london restaurant you wanted to go to, too. figured we could go with your parents," he informs her and she smiles widely, "it's on me, of course."

"arthur," she hums softly, "you need to fuck up more often."

he rolls his eyes and she giggles softly.

"i don't think so. one time, you might actually leave me and i don't know if i could cope with that," he leans over and presses a kiss to her lips, "i love you and i'm truly sorry."

"i love you too, you muppet." xx

#arthurtv #arthurtv blurbs #arthurtv imagines #arthurtv headcannons #arthurtv fics #arthur frederick #arthur frederick blurbs #arthur frederick imagines #arthur frederick fics #arthur frederick headcannons

[larkral]

Two wip posts in one week? It's more likely than you think! Thanks to @shrekgogurt @monbons and @hushed-chorus for tagging me today. I love all of the stuff you shared! I'm even up-to-date on some of it! (I KNOW, out of character!)

Okay, some Penny from Finally, (already, always), because... well, you'll see. (Eight sentences, but trust me, I tried)

"I think that it's a disservice that we're not being provided with sound information on the different kinds of sexual activities available to us." She holds up a hand and starts ticking off fingers, "Masturbation, fellatio, frottage, cunnilingus."  "Stop!" Garreth squawks. "Crowley, Penny, we're trying to eat." His face, along with Rhys', Pippa's and probably mine, are bright red.  "It's perfectly natural," she says. "Sex is supposed to be about feeling good, not just about making babies. It only works to make babies because we want to do it because it feels good."

Penny, when inspired to talk about sexual health. 😭😭😭 Have I forgotten whether the idea that Penny's mom gave her extremely thorough sex ed is canon or fanon of headcanon? Yes. Do I need to do a re-read soon? SURE DO.

Tags and some perhaps controversial opinions about Carry On below the cut

So, okay, this was written approximately two months ago when I was more actively writing on this story. I've been having some difficulty with reconceptualizing how the entire WOM would have been in different circumstances. I re-read Carry On when I started writing Simon's Two Mums, but most of it has slipped right out of my brain. Partially because I'm finding the somewhat slapdash worldbuilding of the universe difficult to build into a world that can be modified and show more-or-less logical flow-through of circumstances. It feels a bit like I have to build up the entire world from scratch for Carry On and then attempt to figure out how changes of circumstance would change that made up world. Which is hard to do!

Hello all friends, join me in sharing all your stufffff! :D @stitchyqueer @thewholelemon @confused-bi-queer @raenestee @facewithoutheart @cutestkilla @sillyunicorn @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @basiltonbutliketheherb @ileadacharmedlife @asocialpessimist @bookish-bogwitch @aristocratic-otter @captain-aralias @petedavidsonscock @takitalks @artsyunderstudy @yeonjunenby @carryonvisinata @takenabackbytuesdays @martsonmars @nausikaaa @nightimedreamersghost @chen-chen-chen-again-chen @ionlydrinkhotwater @that-disabled-princess @forabeatofadrum  @palimpsessed @fatalfangirl​ @blackberrysummerblog​ @valeffelees @imagineacoolusername @orange-peony @j-nipper-95 @whogaveyoupermission @wellbelesbian @rimeswithpurple @youarenevertooold @emeryhall @mooncello @run-for-chamo-miles

#six sentence sunday #still sunday here for another few hours at least #simon snow #snowbaz #carry on #OPINIONS ABOUT SEX EDUCATION #penny's opinions #she has a lot of them #simon's two mums #finally (already always)

[luvring]

hello!! hi. i hope you are not too busy. i have been enjoying your 'falling in love' hcs for the ts characters, and i was wondering if i could ask for the same concept with kuras? if possible? please take your time with it. ^_^ i thinjk he would be silly with it but would also want to biblically smite the reader with his mind (/affectionate) . or you two are psychoanalyzing each other from opposite sides of the room FAR away from each other. I Dont Know. packingf my suitcase and leaving

KURAS FALLING IN LOVE

gn!reader | didn't realize how poor a read i have on his possible plot until writing this. my bad. good job red spring studio U and ur mysteries and kuras's identity in the overarching lore got me this time...

this is going to be the most normal start of a relationship of the LIs. like he's just ('just') a doctor. you're about to strangers -> friends this through coffee and chatting

kuras doesn't...seek you out? not at first. that's not to say he isn't interested by you, but he has a job (and secrets) to handle. but he welcomes your visits as long as he has a break!

it starts with offering to grab or buy something, then staying and helping, learning about a random medicine he has on the counter, and then you're a semi-regular presence at the clinic, and you know which cabinets to check for the average sickness/bandaging. his practiced smile turns into a genuine one when you come through the door. he's asking how your trip was, catching you up on what's been happening lately

one moment i feel might happen is you finding yourself in his clinic, needing his help again,, hopefully your clothes are in tact this time. he jokes about how he'd rather not see you on the cot if you wanted to visit again.

little pranks...!! the senobium or him. roleplaying to throw guards off your trail y'know. getting to see that playful side of him :3

if it's him, he pranks you back, shooting you the same 'innocent' smile he does the guards. be careful about spilling that ink. you've been misplacing papers and pens all day too, haven't you? are you feeling alright?

another moment is. it's hard to say what, but you unknowingly say something tied to his situation. you casually drop your opinion on guilt and atonement—smth smth how guilt will rot and your atonement will never end if you don't let it smth smth the evil that others do with your kindness does not corrupt you smth smth—and it gets him.. Thinking. ! maybe you find those stories about a teacher and harbinger of chaos, and after bringing it up to kuras, he asks you for your opinion on them.

!! one moment i hope we get is kuras 'letting loose' or being silly. laughing really loud and apologizing as it lessens to a chuckle. trying to eat food because you don't know he doesn't eat, and it goes terribly wrong so he gives up and lets you laugh at him

LOL the psychoanalyzing. you say something and he has a weird reaction like Hm. sure, of course. and you're like ??? and he tells you it's nothing, just that that makes sense for you. and you're like Woah you wanna talk about My observations about You? and kuras looks at you like [ !! ] [ ?! ]

there's also small things that suddenly feel more intimate—him cleaning up a wound on your face and holding eye contact, his fingers lingering as they brush your cheek. you instinctively reaching for him when someone bumps into you, and him making sure you're alright.

kuras starts taking more initiative by inviting you to join him places and talking about himself. (cue joke about how information is power and him saying he'll make an exception for you.)

but it won't be all sunshine and rainbows considering he's an incredibly old angel and he has. shit going on.... who knows what shit honestly

you notice how he still doesn't share everything, which is fair enough—you're not spilling your entire life story either. but you still don't know basic things about this guy, you don't even know how he's kept his clothes clean all this time or how Old he is

that distance kuras keeps between you grows again because he doesn't want you to get in harm's way, and it's inevitable if you stick too close. he's an expert at dodging questions, answering just enough to keep people satisfied, but what does this mean for you? someone he's unexpectedly grown fond of, and who keeps calling him out for it?

you voice what you're both thinking. he has a frustrated expression when you point out you both like each other, and you want to help him for once, because ??!! he doesn't know what to do here.

something something, kuras's true form, him invalidating all the good he's done for the chaos and ruin he's brought, the world before, being the one to help him find forgiveness, the divine as neither good nor bad, kuras defining himself outside of a teacher and sinner Something Somethigngggaaghhh

Honestly. i've been messing with both ideas in my head and i haven't picked one i enjoy more so.

there's kuras, who's never been in love and is suddenly fumbling for once, trying really hard to 'do it right' and figuring out what it means to be in a relationship and in love (he's overthinking) (he was doing alright) (he asks ais/mhin for their opinions)

and then there's kuras who goes with what he was doing before, just with more affection/intimacy, because seriously he was already doing a great job at being a good partner :sob:

i think kuras's feelings are a slow burn themself. like, he takes the time to get to know you, to open up, etc, and he wouldn't define what he feels as 'being in love' for a while ?? he knows you're incredible important to him, and know him better than...probably anyone else. but he thinks "i love you" is a very significant thing to think and say out loud and he wants to make sure he knows for sure.

if you wait for him to say it first, i think he'd make it a really special moment! ^^ he thinks for a while about how to do it and, maybe uncharacteristically, gets nervous. his face lights up in its own way when you say it back (not a huge face-splitting grin, but his smile does grow and it's obvious he's relieved/happy)

it isn't often that the doctor is thrown off his game, especially not for longer than a few minutes, so if you ever casually, and Very Quickly*, say "love you" while you're leaving, it's a Sight to See. imagining ais coming to see him and going ...?? when kuras opens the wrong cabinet for the most basic medicine. he applauds your work the next time you see him

*very quickly because if you're in a situation where you're alone and he isn't needed, he's going to stop you?? like what?? can we have a conversation about this (not mad just stunned and values communication and also in love with you and)

#touchstarved x reader #kuras x reader #got writers block specifically for reqs... Again... but i pushed through! i got it. hah #not proofreading this i dont know whats been written If theres a typo. ... dont even tell me. judtodntlekdlcmekdn

[23meteorstreet]

becoming obsessed with the always sunny podcast but not in a parasocial way. i'm putting these old men under a microscope and studying them to figure out who u have to be to come up with some of the shit in this show

#i recognize that this is kinda contradictory #but if they won't talk about the show what choice do i have but to psychoanlyze the information out of them?!?!?!? #(but fr sometimes their stories are interesting but my god i dont care what y'all eat for breakfast or w/e just talk about the damn show) #(just watched the new ep & thought the writing stuff & the stuff about the christmas thing was good but so much of it i was just like w/e) #(for the most part i only care when it relates to the ideas in the show or it makes me feel less weird as a person lol)

[iicarused]

Hi! ^^ I saw that your requests are open. Can you please do nsfw headcanons for Vox, Alastor and maybe Adam (if you’re open to write for him if not no worries!) with an S/O (separte) who is really sweet, but when they get to the bedroom for the first time she starts some kinky stuff once she’s comfortable enough. Stuff that they never knew would leave her mouth? How would they react?

I hope you have a beautiful day! ^^

##good girl

separate! vox x reader / alastor x reader / adam x reader

beware: smut, blowjob, knife play, biting, choking, cockwarming, rut, breeding kink, overstimulation, electric play, degradation, praise, mention of rope bunny, marking

a/n: thanks for being the reason why i post nsfw for the first time LMFAOO like actually i never posted it before so mb if these aren’t great<3

VOX

when you and vox started dating, the last thing he thought of was you being fun in the bedroom. now don’t get him wrong, he enjoys a little vanilla sex from time to time: but for you? a whole different story.

he thought you were more tame, to be fair, you were a whole sweetheart. but there came a time where he got a little too in his head and light electricity emitted from the palms of his hands.

he was so close to pulling away but the sound that came from you? he couldn’t stop. now, the electricity was not harsh, but instead sizzled over your skin: it’s how he often took off steam. the two words that really tied the knot is when you said “use me,” between kisses

the last thing he figured is that you were into choking, and here he is with his fingers curled around your neck. heavy breaths and degrading words being whispered to your ear.

“such a fucking whore begging for my cock like this, and here i thought i knew you.”

honestly, he gets even more ecstatic to know you’re a freak just as much as he is. his a corruption kink and your putter sona of portraying and innocent sweet heart really sparks that in him.

after figuring out this information, he enjoys calling you into his office and have you ccokwarm him. feeling you clench around him the longer you cannot move, or he will grip on your thighs to make you still.

ALASTOR

breeding link goes heavy and it was because that is how he found out about you’re kinky side. it was while he had you in a mating press when you let out those sweet words of “breed me, breed me, please alastor!” the begging and the way your fingers dug into his shoulders when he released.

“gun’na fill you right up until your dripping with my seed.”

he was quick to play into it that night, because things got more exciting after that. there was no genuine shock because to alastor? you were just so sweet and kind that you had to be hiding something. being a freak in bed was one of the last things but it was there.

the last thing he expected was stop being until knife play — it would be waaay later until he found that out, and how he did? he noticed the way you writhed under him whenever this his claws glided against your plush skin. the sounds you makes when his digs his nails into your thighs while he’s rutting into you.

breeding link mixed with overstimulation for this radio demon — only during a rut — other times, he’s fine and sex doesn’t occur often. usually to satisfy you when he isn’t in the mood, he lays you out on the bed while he reads a book and fingers you. can and will eat you out like it’s his last meal if you’re being too whiny.

ADAM

“such a slut, couldn’t wait for my cock and had to be fucked on the table in my office, huh?”

he knew you were a freak, he loved tying you up in the bedroom and using you until you were overstimulated. but when you came into his office and was more touchy, that caught him off guard. first, he thought you were joking. now he has you bent over his desk with a hand over your mouth, praying internally that the seraphim’s don’t catch this.

another part of him hopes to be caught. everyone believes that you’re some sweet angel who can do better than adam, but he’s the only one who can rail you until your legs begin to shake. (you wonder why lilith and eve left him sometimes)

goes crazy when you take his hand and place it where you wanna be touched. “i need words, sugar, what do you want me to do?” very oral with you, especially when he ties you up. leaving hickies isn’t enough, this man will bite into your skin (if you’re okay with it.) and ruin you

please be oral with him too, it will drive him fucking nuts. sharper thrusts and loves pressing you against the wall.

no because he will definitely have you bounce on his cock in the office but his wings will spread around the two of you for more privacy after he became the lead extermination angel.

#ᥫ᭡. #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel headcanon #hazbin hotel smut #vox x reader #alastor x reader #adam x reader

[b0nten]

HOW ARE BABIES MADE?

[SYNOPSIS] ˚⁀➷｡ ran, rindou, sanzu, takeomi, kakucho, mikey and izana being asked by their children how babies are made.

[NOTES] ˚⁀➷｡ reader is implied to be fem, reader is called “mother”, “mommy” etc. this was so fun to write!!! thank you anon for requesting <3 also, i used tenjiku&bonten characters but everything’s taking place in the final timeline.

RAN is definitely the type to try to explain the entire thing, without any second thoughts whatsoever. He’d definitely hear the question, and open his mouth but before gets to say ‘sex’ he feels a book flat against his head. “what do you think you’re doing?” you whisper-yell from the kitchen, curry udon long forgotten on the stove. “explaining to your daughter how she spawned into the world?” he answers, dodging another decor item that you aimed toward him. upon asking, dramatically and over-exaggeratedly of course, so offended because he just doesn’t know what he was doing wrong, you just stare at him. “we agreed to tell her when she’s 14. she doesn’t even know boys have dicks and you want to explain the entirety of sex and how it goes to her? do you even know how it works?” he sighs, defeated, “let’s go eat, sweetheart, i think i made mommy a lil mad.” he says, picking up his daughter, “that last part was uncalled for, by the way.” “suck it up, mr. club owner. ”

meanwhile, RINDOU simply freezes: “daddy, how are babies made?” what? excuse him? oh my lord, he did not expect this to happen this early. why the hell is his five year old son asking him about coital activity, right when you’re not around? fuck him (himself), fuck this situation, fuck you for not being around right now (both figuratively and literally). “you see! when… uhm.. when two people love each other and they kiss, they make a baby!” he mentally face-palms for what the fuck he just said. “so you can’t kiss girls until you’re twenty-one, yeah?” finally, thankfully, his phone rings, and thank the heavens it’s you. “oh my god, y/n—” “rindou, what did i just hear on the baby cam?” “haha, my love! funny story!!!!”

SANZU just goes feral. he’s having a fucking anxiety attack or whatever so he just texts you while your daughter asks her daddy about how babies are made.

TAKEOMI plays it safe, using the infamous stork. “and it just comes flying?” “yeah, it carries a little basket with its beak and gives it to us!” he smiles, playing into his baby girl’s fantasy. “you sound just like my parents.” you smile and his gaze averts to yours, from his seat on the living room carpet. “well, your own stories inspired me, because, to be honest, i was about to shit myself.” “daddy!” the little one yells, stretching out her palm, “1000 yen!” and her father exasperates “god put me out of this misery of only being an atm, you’re just like your mother. ow! what’d i deserve that punch for?”

KAKUCHO handles it like a pro. “papa.” one of his little girls walks up to him, younger twin following her right behind. “yes, pretty girl?” he straightens his back and crouches down, still sitting on the couch. “how are babies made, papa?” the shyer one asks and his face drops for a split second. “i promise to tell you when you’re older, right now it’s classified information!” he jokes, and the girls giggle. “now… who wants to watch doraemon!!” he does the jazz hands and the twins jump into his lap. not long after, you sit down next to them. “if i didn’t know any better, i would have said you rehearsed those lines from the moment you were born.” you laugh, resting your head on his shoulder. he wraps an arm around you, chuckling, and kisses the crown of your head.

if there’s someone (who thinks they’re) escaping this question, it’s MIKEY. “ ‘tou-chan, how are babies made?” blond locks spin toward him, and the big eyes of his daughter look him up and down. “ ‘tou-chan?” she says again, a bit annoyed. mikey sacrifices the motorbike races he’s watching and looks back at her. “ask ‘kaa-chan, i’m not really good at biology.” he smiles when she jumps from her place and runs into your bedroom, where you’re blow-drying your hair. confident that he’s just dodged a bullet, manjiro returns to his priority — the tv. moments later you storm in, hair half wet, still in your bath robe with the kid in your arms, visibly furious. he knows he’s dodged a bullet but is about to get hit by a cannon.

IZANA is at the dining table doing some paper-work for tenjiku and you’re watching tv when your oldest marches into the kitchen, determined. “daddy.” the blond looks up, eyeing back at the spitting image of himself. “yes?” he answers, and you also look back to see what’s going on. slamming a big book on the table, the toddler points to the cover “how are babies made?” you burst out laughing and your husband snatches the book away, making you laugh hysterically. “where’d you find this?!” he questions, and his forehead is already soaked with sweat and he wants to bury himself into the ground. “your office.” he can’t believe his five year old son walked in there and just so happened to find this book: effective positions for baby-making. his cheeks redden and he scans the room to find you and request your help, but he’s greeted with the sight of you rolling around on the living room floor, trying to calm your laughter down. yay.

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers imagines #tokyo revengers headcanons #tokyo revengers scenarios #tokyo revengers x you #ran haitani x reader #haitani ran x reader #rindou haitani x reader #haitani rindou x reader #akashi takeomi x reader #takeomi akashi x reader #sanzu x reader #haruchiyo sanzu x reader #kakucho hitto x reader #kakucho x reader #mikey x reader #sano manjiro x reader #izana kurokawa x reader #kurokawa izana x reader #manjiro sano x reader #ran haitani scenarios #haitani ran scenarios #rindou haitani headcanons #ran haitani headcanons #sanzu haruchiyo x reader #sanzu haruchiyo fluff #izana headcanons #izana x reader fluff #izana fluff

[neil-gaiman]

Hello Mr Neil,

You probably won't be able to see this but I just had to get it out to rest my mind and I feel like it's more reliable to get an answer from an author than on Google.

I've seen that reblog from one of Ms Diane's asks where they mention that any story idea, fanfic, suggestion shouldn't be sent over as it would cause possible issues. So I was thinking, if you don't read fanfics, are you also not allowed to read prompts?

There's a blog here on Tumblr which posts prompts so I was wondering if authors aren't allowed to read those and what about if you were just surfing the internet say on Twitter or here on Tumblr where a lot of thoughts about certain books or shows are being posted. Are you required to inform during meetings if you've passed by a similar idea somewhere or would that only matter if it was directed to you?

Maybe you've answered this question before that I must not have understood or seen. I'm sorry if that's the case 😥

I'm all out of answers. I don't read fan fiction. It is to everyone's benefit that I don't read fan fiction especially that of the people writing the fan fiction. I don't read prompts, I don't read it on Tumblr, I don't read it on A03, when people decide to send it to me in the asks I don't read it. I do not read it on a train, I do not read it in the rain, I do not read it here or there, I do not read it anywhere...

Let's try a thought experiment.

"I don't eat peanuts. I'm allergic to them, and I don't like the taste."

"Can you eat peanut butter?"

"No. I'm allergic to peanuts. They can kill me."

"Okay, I get it on the whole peanuts and the peanut butter, but my mom makes fabulous peanut cake, and the peanuts in that are really finely chopped, so you don't know they're peanuts. Can you eat my mom's peanut cake?"

"I can't eat them. They would kill me."

"I've got a recipe for Cashew-butter that tastes exactly like peanut butter. Can I make you a cashew-butter sandwich? You aren't allergic to that."

"No, but I don't like the taste. I'll pass."

"Hey! We haven't talked about boiled gas station peanuts. If you could hypothetically eat peanuts and you were in a gas station in the south, would you have the spicy boiled peanuts or the vinegary boiled peanuts or the plain boiled peanuts?"

"I wouldn't eat the peanuts."

"No, but hypothetically, and remembering that these are green peanuts and not dried peanuts, pick the one you'd prefer..."

[wonwoonlight]

just one day / yoon jeonghan

⇢ Jeonghan x fem!Reader

⇢ word count: 4.5k

⇢ fluff // angst // nonidol!au // brother's best friend // fake dating!au // they're idiots lmao // not edited nor proofread so pls bear w me lol // cursing and. two? kissing scenes.

⇢ A/N: this has been sitting unfinished in my google drive since... either last year or the beginning of this year lmao. i have always wanted to write brother's best friend and i had this sudden urge to finish it earlier so i did. been some time since i posted a proper fic so, enjoy~

He must be dreaming.

He must be.

“What?” Jeonghan says just for the sake of saying it.

“I like you.”

“No, you don’t.”

You blink at his firm voice, wondering what kind of situation this is. Sure, you shouldn’t be confessing to your brother’s best friend, but you feel like you’ve been obvious enough and you don’t see why you shouldn’t confess when it’s been eating you inside out.

And, yeah, you didn’t expect him to do anything about your confession (or even say that he likes you back), but you didn’t expect this either.

“What do you mean I don’t?” you frown, looking at him accusingly. “I like you.”

“You don’t, kid.” He sighs, already feeling a headache coming. He’s not stupid, alright, he has enough sense to gather that his best friend’s little sister probably has something on him–a crush, perhaps, but he’s never thought it was real enough for you to feel the need to confess.

It doesn’t help that he is attracted to you, has always been since you’ve gone back from Sydney after finishing university a year ago. He admits he’s always thought you’re attractive, and if he’s being honest, he would’ve asked you out first if not for the fact that you’re literally Joshua Hong’s little sister.

As if it’s not enough that not dating his best friend’s little sister has always been a code he follows, Shua has always been a little too protective as a brother. He’s seen firsthand how the guy scared off some who had the guts to flirt with you, seen how for two decades only two guys had ever been declared good enough to date you (he couldn’t do anything about the flings you had when you were abroad, but at least you’ve always been appreciative of his protectiveness and you never missed to inform him of some guys who were actually trying to get it on with you).

Long story short, Jeonghan does not wish to be on the receiving end of Shua’s scrutinizing eyes regardless of how much he’s actually into you.

“Look, you know me,” he starts when he realizes you’re not backing down. He looks away, pretending to be frustrated, though it’s really just because he thinks he’ll relent if he looks into your eyes a second longer. “I’m not gonna make a good boyfriend and I’m literally your brother’s best friend.”

You don’t seem to care about the first part of his sentence, irked by the fact that him being best friend with Shua would be an obstacle in your way. Shouldn’t it be easier for him to get a seal of approval if he’s already close with your brother? But, then again, Shua probably knows Jeonghan inside out and knowing too much is never a good thing.

“So what?” you say anyway, because if there’s any word that would describe you perfectly, it’s ‘stubborn’. “Why does it matter that you’re his best friend?”

Jeonghan sends you a look, and you pout because you actually get what he means. You know Shua, after all, and as much as you want to condition yourself to believe that Jeonghan would be the person Shua approves of with all his heart, you also know that even if your brother actually approves, he would put him through hell just for the fun of it.

Anyway, this doesn’t tell you at all where Jeonghan actually stands about you.

“So, you don’t like me?” you shoot straight to it, as if Jeonghan wouldn’t be able to hear your heart beating like there’s no tomorrow if he takes even one step closer–as if your ears aren’t hot from saying it out loud. Jeonghan does not need to know how flustered you actually are.

And it works, because he seems to be taken aback by your boldness and you try your best to hide a victory grin at that. You should probably be more grateful that he can’t stand to look at you for more than three seconds; if he had, he would’ve seen the tip of your ears turning red and the speck of blush on your face, which means he could’ve easily taken control of the situation and turned it against you.

His silence encourages you, because if he really doesn’t like you then he would tell you so. As much as Jeonghan is a master of tricks and he’s great at acting, he’s never been good at hiding his feelings.

Jeonghan bites his lip, trying to get a way out of this. Why can’t he just say no and be done with it? Sure, he’s not in love with you or anything (yet?), but it’s a straight out lie to say he’s never seen you that way.

After all, there’s a reason why he’s been avoiding you the past few months. 

You just have to be more daring these days, and as much as he wills himself to behave, there are times when he’s already flirting with you before he knows it. He’s just lucky Shua has never caught you two.

Plus, you’ve taken a liking to wearing a crop top and it’s the absolute death of him.

“Tell you what,” you say before he does. “Date me.”

Jeonghan chokes on nothing, violently coughs that his shoulders are shaking and you actually need to pat his back so he’ll calm down.

“Are you okay?” You ask worriedly, and he’s terribly conscious of your hand on his shoulder and the other on his arm, of the way your brows furrow in concern, of the way your lips are a little ajar and if he moves forward just a little–

“Yeah.” He shakes his head despite the word, then clears his throat and squares his shoulders before he looks the other way around. He doesn’t step away though, and it’s so fucking stupid that he frowns when you do. “Sorry. You were saying?”

“Date me.” You repeat anyway, though you know this is Jeonghan’s way of  giving you an out in case you want to pretend like you didn’t just say that earlier. He opens his mouth, and you can hear what he’s going to say even if he hasn’t said anything so you cut him yet again. “Just for one day.”

“Kid–”

“Stop,” you say firmly, something akin to determination flashes through your eyes that he’s actually taken aback. “Stop calling me that.”

He sighs out your name, but you’re not hearing it because if you back down now you know you won’t have it in you to say this out loud again. You’re fueled by nothing but impulse and you’re not going to let Yoon Jeonghan himself slow you down.

“Han, I see the way you look at me–you’ve gone past seeing me as a kid since I came back from Sydney and it’s been a year since then. I’m not stupid.”

It’s hard to describe the way he looks at you, and he’s not blaming you because he is confused. The mixed feelings bursting in his chest is much too complicated for him to explain. Let alone through words, even his consciousness does not know how to register what he’s feeling.

Your face falls at his silence, and whatever courage that drives you up to this point is starting to ebb little by little. You’re so goddamn stupid–did you really think confessing to him would lift the weight off your shoulders? What made you think Jeonghan would be able to treat you as usual after you confessed?

Didn’t you confess only because it’s heaving you down? Because you thought you’d regret it if you stayed silent?

Then what is this weight on your chest? 

What is this disappointment looming all over your body?

Why the fuck are your eyes pricking with tears?

Still, you stand your ground and square yourself up in front of him. You’ve gone this far. If you’re going to be embarrassing, might as well do it for a reason. 

“Okay,” he breaks his silence, his tone defeated for whatever reason. It’s not discouraging though, more like unsure and maybe a little hopeful, and when you look up, he’s biting his lip in contemplation. “Just one day, right?”

“But you have to actually treat me like I’m your girlfriend.” You push, heart beating both in excitement and fear. Because what if he backs out of nowhere? He’s not that kind of person, but this situation is nothing sort of normal and his consciousness just might get to him if you don’t push him already.

Jeonghan bites his lip, looking at you like you’re a bad idea that he’s caving into. And he’s starting to think that it’s true. But if he’s being honest, he’s not against this at all. He also wants to know how it’d feel like to hold your hands and just listen to you talk without thinking about Shua and whatever that will follow if he ever finds out.

Frankly, one day wouldn’t be enough, but that’s better than nothing, right? And he would never have the guts to propose it himself, he admits, so this is a chance that he knows he wouldn’t get his hands on ever again.

He sighs, praying to every god up there that this won’t backfire on him.

“Okay,” he whispers, more to himself than to you, and then repeats it once again, this time firmer, looking at you straight in the eyes. “Shua’s going on a business trip next week, right?”

You nod.

“I’ll see you next Saturday?”

You bite down your lip so hard that you taste blood to stop yourself from smiling like an idiot.

Tuesday, 26 July

[14:32] Yoon Jeonghan😠: beach or amusement park

[14:50] ?????

[14:50] its not a surprise?

[14:54] Yoon Jeonghan😠: just pick one, kid

[14:55] 🙄 beach ig

Thursday, 28 July

[01:11] Yoon Jeonghan😠: festival or night market

[01:12] ?????? sir?? go to sleep??

[01:12] didnt you choose a place alrd???

[01:12] but night market

[01:13] Yoon Jeonghan😠: you go to sleep

Yoon Jeonghan😠 is typing…

…

Yoon Jeonghan😠 is typing…

[01:17] Yoon Jeonghan😠: good night, kid

[01:18] nightttttt

Friday, 29 July

[22:20] Yoon Jeonghan😠: wear something light tomorrow, but bring a jacket just in case it gets cold at night

Saturday, 30 July

[00:03] k, boyfriend 😌

[00:03] sorry, i was on the phone with chaeyoung earlier

[00:07] Yoon Jeonghan😠: i really cant with you

[00:07] Yoon Jeonghan😠: and chaeyoung as in vernon’s cousin? your friend from high school?

[00:07] Yoon Jeonghan😠: you still talk to her?

[00:08] yes!! surprised that u rmb her :0

[00:08] and i actually just met her by accident earlier today and we decided to catch up thru the phone bc i had to go somewhere

[00:09] apparently, she’s dating choi seungcheol or smth 👀

Incoming call from Yoon Jeonghan😠 - 00:11

Call ended - 02:27

[02:27] Yoon Jeonghan😠: you fell asleep. night, babe 🤪 see you

You bite your lip in giddiness as you keep on rereading Jeonghan’s text, like you’re not giddy enough already at the prospect of today.

You fell asleep last night while on the phone with Jeonghan, but whatever curse you were about to dump into yourself for falling asleep during what might be your only chance to be on the phone with Jeonghan during ungodly hours was immediately wiped out when you saw his text.

Yes, you’d flirt with each other from time to time–but never through texts, and the prospect of having a message from him that you can read over and over again some time in the future is both delightful and… sad.

The sudden tug on your heart and consciousness is a little heavy, a reminder that he’s doing that because you asked him to. That whatever’s happening in the span of today is an illusion, one that Jeonghan agrees on creating.

Why, you don’t want to dwell on it too much.

That should be your motto for the day: fuck it.

So what if it was an illusion? Jeonghan agreed and you’re going to make the best out of it. If you’re never going to be Jeonghan’s girlfriend, might as well be shameless and live your teenage (and adult, if you’re being honest) dream and be his girlfriend for the day now so you can stamp it in your memory. You only have today and you’re not going to spend any second thinking about the technicality of it.

As far as you know, Jeonghan is your boyfriend and he’s taking you out for the day.

You jump when your phone pings, the notification on your lockscreen rids you of whatever negativity that was in your mind literally seconds ago as you grin and make your way out of your apartment.

[09:17] Yoon Jeonghan😠: am in the lobby. get ur pretty self here, angel.

For all you know, the world is plenty unfair. But seeing Jeonghan looking like that with a simple white tee and a faded pair of jeans reminds you just how unfair the world actually is. Like it’s not unfair enough already because he’s not your actual boyfriend.

“Come on, let me take a picture of you,” he says as he softly takes your hand, pulling you up from the mat. “The wind isn’t too strong and you’re looking particularly pretty today.”

You scrunch your nose as you mock annoyance, a failed attempt to mask your blush. Hopefully, Jeonghan would think you’re simply flushed because of the sun and not because of him.

“I don’t like taking pictures.”

“How dare you lie to me.” Jeonghan says without missing a beat. “I know you make Shua take a ton shit pictures of you when you’re out somewhere.”

You pout at this, and as much as you know Jeonghan doesn’t mean anything by it, the mention of your brother isn’t exactly welcome today because his name just reminds you that this isn’t real and he’s a big part of the reason why.

“Can you not talk about my brother?” You say softly, which Jeonghan easily catches even if he’s not sure you mean for him to hear or not. The sadness in your voice is genuine though, and he makes a mental note to stop mentioning Joshua for the rest of the day. He’s starting to question once again if this is the right thing to do even for a day–after all, Joshua is his best friend, and this particular conversation is the exact reason why he’s not supposed to do this.

But he’s promised you he’ll treat you like his girlfriend–perhaps another personal agenda of his because he does want to experience being able to be your boyfriend even for a day. He should’ve thought more before okay-ing your proposal instead of thinking about it right now when you’re in front of him, in a simple white shirt and a black skirt that stops just below the middle of your thigh but somehow still the prettiest he’s ever seen. 

He wonders if this is how you usually dress up for your dates, and something bitter makes it to the tip of his tongue as he thinks about someone else taking you on a date. 

“Sorry. Come on, let’s take a picture together.” His fingers wrap around your wrist to pull you closer before eventually linking them with yours. “You’re very pretty today, have I told you?”

“You have.” You scrunch your nose and pretend to roll your eyes at the sudden sweetness he basks you in even though you’re liking every second of it. “Literally one minute ago.”

“Well, you really do look very beautiful and I want you to know.” He lowers his voice an octave and stares right into your eyes before he eventually bursts out laughing.

“Stop!” You giggle, knowing that he’s doing this on purpose to annoy you. “That’s too fucking cheesy and you know it.”

He laughs along with you, then tightens his fingers in yours like they’re not interlocked already.

“I mean it though.” He whispers one last time, not looking at you this time around because his heart might fucking burst to say it to your face without the faux of messing with you. “You do look beautiful.”

At least you share the sentiment, as you quietly duck your head to hide your smile, whispering a thanks that’s only meant for the two of you.

Jeonghan keeps his end of the bargain, you’re happy to know, as you don’t even think about your brother and the pretense that is your relationship for the rest of the day. You freely flirt with each other, cheeky smile and winks being thrown here and there. His hands never seem to leave you, and you gladly cling on to him even if you don’t need to.

You get ice cream, insist that you want the plain strawberry one only to eventually switch with Jeonghan’s cookies and creams because his looks better. He plays hard to get before giving in to you, but not before swiping ice cream from the side of your lips and licks his thumb like that shit isn’t going to give you a heart attack.

It’s around seven when you both get to the night market not too far from the beach, and you’re both even gigglier than earlier which you didn’t think was possible. Your cheeks hurt from smiling, but you’re the furthest thing from complaining as you continue at whatever dumb jokes Jeonghan throws your way.

The night market isn’t as crowded as you think it would be, but it still is crowded and Jeonghan makes a show of throwing his arm around your shoulder because he ‘doesn’t want to lose you’ and you seem a little cold (which you kinda are).

You elbow him at this, shake your head and pretend like you’re not internally dying from the closeness between the two of you.

“That’s so lame.” You snicker. “Just say you want me close and go.”

“I do want you close.” He whispers unexpectedly, catching you entirely off guard that you trip on your own foot you almost fall on your face. He doesn’t seem to realize you tripped because you’re flustered, which works good for you, and he flicks your forehead as he scolds you to be more careful and goes back to holding your hand.

“Seriously. How are you still so clumsy?”

You don’t like being reprimanded by Jeonghan, because it awfully reminds you that you’re younger than him–that you’re his best friend’s little sister. And as much as you know Jeonghan definitely does not see you as a sister, the implication that he has to see you as one because of the association is very disheartening. 

“Why are you frowning?” He copies the gesture, and you shake your head, telling him it’s nothing. The night is ending, and you don’t want to waste more time thinking about stuff that you can think of tomorrow when you’re not in a time limited relationship with Yoon Jeonghan. “No, tell me–”

“Jeonghan?”

The both of you turn at the call of his name, and your frown deepens as you see Jisoo in front of you, Jeonghan’s ex that he amicably broke up with. The one ex that has always made you feel like shit because she’s everything you’re not and they were such a picture perfect couple that you’re sure they’d go back together someday.

It does not feel good to see her today of all days.

“Oh, hi!” She kindly greets you, her smile way too genuine for you to think she’s just being polite and secretly hates you inside. Gosh. You need to stop watching too many TV dramas. “Joshua’s sister… right?”

There it is again. The reminder that you’re his sister–something you really don’t need to hear today.

“Hi.” You smile awkwardly, and only then remember your hand is still pretty much joined with Jeonghan’s. You don't know how to feel about the fact that his reflex is not to let go of your hand in front of his ex who obviously knows your brother. You try to let go of his hand, but Jeonghan holds on tighter, as if telling you it’s okay and there’s no need to worry about Jisoo.

They share a small chat for a bit before eventually parting, and Jisoo wishes you both a good night, which makes you hate yourself so much for being jealous of the girl when she doesn’t even have an ounce of bad energy towards you.

You try to enjoy the rest of the night, but Jisoo’s appearance just reminds you that this whole thing is pretty much fake. That someone out there is going to be in your place for real–able to hold his hand and just be with him all the time without having to wait for your brother to go on a business trip to even hang out with each other. Without some stupid request and guilt eating them inside out because they’re not supposed to do this.

Trying to be subtle, you put on an act of wanting to visit every stall in the festival and pretend to be tired after about thirty minutes or so. You’re surprised Jeonghan isn’t already tired to begin with, this guy has the battery of a five-years-old phone, you didn’t expect him to actually bring you around until night if you’re being completely honest.

Jeonghan complies when you tell him you’re ready to go home, and you don’t even realize he’s also being weirdly quiet because you’re too deep in your thoughts. And it’s once his car is parked on the parking lot of your apartment building that you finally open your mouth trying to say something–anything.

You want to thank him for today. To thank him for making a memory that you’ll dearly hold on to, for giving you a standard of what a boyfriend is supposed to be even for a day. For fulfilling your dumb request when he doesn’t even have to.

But what comes out of your mouth is something entirely different and you almost want to bash your head against the door of his car right after.

“Whoever’s going to be your girlfriend is very lucky.”

You can hear Jeonghan takes a sharp breath, and you bite your lip to stop yourself from crying because you’re just so fucking stupid like that.

You try to remind yourself that you asked for this. That Jeonghan is doing you a favour and owes you nothing. That you should be thankful you’ve even gotten the chance to play girlfriend with him when he could’ve just embarrassed you and walked away after your proposal.

The deafening silence inside the car is very loud, and you feel like you’re suffocated by things unseen that you just want to get out of the car and take a very deep breath. So you do just that: reach for the door of his car because you can’t take being so close to him anymore.

It’s your fault. You shouldn’t have asked for this. Shouldn’t have asked for a taste of heaven because surely you would want more and you’ll die of thirst right after. Now you’re just going to be awkward with him until god knows when and you’re regretting it already. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

You should’ve been satisfied with your close friendship with him, with loving him from afar. Now you’ve ruined things between you and him and who knows when things will get back to normal? He’ll fucking think of you as pathetic and it’s just going to be pity in his eyes everytime he looks at you now.

“Hey!” Jeonghan jumps in alert the moment you step out of his car, quickly follows through and catches you before you take another step away from him. “What–why are you in such a hurry?”

You look down to your shoes, because you can’t stomach looking at him right now just in case you’ll see what you fear will be reflected in his eyes.

“Hey… Look at me?” He tries once again, tone getting a little helpless. But you shake your head, because you’re sure you’ll start crying if you do and you want to preserve the little dignity you still have in front of him. But Jeonghan doesn’t stop there, he whispers a ‘please?’ and lifts your chin gently so you’ll look at him, his heart breaking when he sees how close you are to tears and his throat closing at how he’s the reason behind all this.

“Thank you.” You brave yourself. It’s the least you can do, because as much as you’re going to grovel for the next few months, you know that this particular memory with Jeonghan will always be dear to your heart and you’ll treasure it forever. “I’m sorry for taking your time and–”

“Ah, fuck it.” You hear him say before he dives into your lips, not minding the way you’re frozen in place out of shock. He hums against your lips, and it’s then that you finally kiss him back, your hands settle over his shoulders and your whole body relaxed under his touch.

When the both of you pull away, you’re a little out of breath and your thoughts all over the place. But there’s a small smile in Jeonghan’s face that gets you mirroring the gesture. He closes his eyes as he places his forehead on yours, and you follow suit, feeling the warmth of his breath on your face.

“It’s… okay for me to do that, right?” He asks, albeit a little too late. You still don’t know what the whole things mean, but you find yourself chuckling, because you honestly would let him do anything to you. But he doesn’t need to know the kind of power he has over you, so you simply nod and let him have his peace.

“Han?” You say after a while. “What does this mean for us?”

Jeonghan stares into your eyes, deep in his own thoughts as if he’s trying to rearrange his words so they don’t stumble out of his mouth like a trainwreck.

“Let’s see where this takes us?”

“But Shua…?”

He presses his lips together and wraps his arms around you, pushing you into his neck as he breathes in your scent.

“Whatever happens, happens.” He decides, already resigning that he can’t possibly let you go now that he knows how it feels like to have you like this. He’ll make your brother understand somehow, but right now, he wants to be with you and savors the little time he has with you before your brother comes back, not even minding the way his phone has been vibrating in his pocket.

[Joshua sent a picture.]

Joshua: heard from Jisoo you’re on a date w my sister??????????????????

Joshua: did you finally get out of your ass and stop being in denial lmaoooooooooooooo

Joshua: just pls be safe

Joshua: she’s still my sister

Joshua: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

©wonwoonlight – all rights reserved. I don’t allow any reposting, translation, and any other kind of redistribution of this fic. Please tell me if you’re aware of anyone doing this without my permission.

#jeonghan angst #jeonghan scenarios #jeonghan fic #seventeen scenarios #seventeen angst #seventeen fluff #seventeen fic #seventeen au #jeonghan fluff #jeonghan imagines #khione.fics #jeonghan au #seventeen scenario #seventeen x reader #seventeen imagines #jeonghan oneshot #seventeen oneshot

[thefudge]

Advice for writing smut???

gonna do bullet-points of things i tend to live by when it comes to smut (this is just my opinion):

don't switch styles: the way you write the smut has to be consistent with the way you write the rest of the story, so if your story is more comedic or romcom-y in nature, the way you write the smut should have those stylings. i personally find it very jarring when authors decide to break the format for the smut, almost like the story has to stop for the sex intermission; if you're writing a horror story, the smut must be informed and influenced by that genre, and if you are breaking genre for the smut portion, tell us why you're suddenly switching gears (it has to be an aesthetic choice you're making on purpose). likewise, if your style in that story is more lyrical, the smut has to be somewhat lyrical too, or if your story is more cormac mccarthy-esque-cut-and-dry, the smut can't suddenly involve an effluvia of purple, sappy prose. integrating the smut in the story and treating it like any other part of the story is key to me. too often i've seen ppl switch to this anonymous pornified style when they get to the smut

which brings me to specificity. i'll talk about het sex, since that's what i tend to write most: not all men are going to be fingering or eating pussy the same way, not all dicks are big and they shouldn't be, not all women immediately get excited by fingering, not everyone moans the same way or makes the same sounds. you're writing about particular characters so it has to be particular to them. i know this is very old advice, but i think it bears repeating

there isn't an exact formula or sequence you have to follow, there aren't precise steps, you don't have to go "well, first he has to kiss down her neck, then reach the boob area, then play with the nipples, then put the nipple in his mouth, then slowly go down on her, then prepare her for entering her etc. etc. etc." this can get boring and repetitive and you start thinking of your characters as these mechanical dolls who have to fuck for your audience. and that can be a vibe too, if you do it on purpose. but sometimes you can get stuck in a porn routine (and ofc, having only the guy show initiative can also get boring)

in order to break that, insert some character moments. what are the characters thinking during this? sometimes they might be thinking of something completely unrelated on the surface, but which has a thematic relevance that can make the scene hotter. likewise, maybe they're doing smth that seems unsexy on the surface, but which, within the context of the story might be really hot. sex doesn't just involve, well, sex, but so much weirdness and humanity and creativity. two bodies (usually) are trying to do this really awkward thing together and they might have a lot of baggage and history to inform it. there's a lot you can do with that.

don't make it glossy and clean, where everyone smells of strawberry shampoo and there is never anything out of sync. the most boring smut tends to be the kind where no one makes any mistakes and everything is super efficient. i imagine it feels like using an industrial pump to milk various farm animals.

and you know what? you can make that hot too. you CAN write a kind of robotic efficient smut and make it really interesting based on the context. let's say you're writing a 1984 AU fic where ppl are forced into intimacy only to procreate and their sex drive is diminished. you can play with that premise and lean into the dehumanizing industrialization of sex, but you have to mean it, aka your narratorial voice must be conscious of these factors.

if you're writing dubcon, make the dubious part present, make sure you draw out the ambivalence and ambiguity. if you're writing noncon, the character whose consent is being violated has to be transformed by this in some way. it can be forced pleasure, for instance, but not only. it has to be a journey for them too, some kind of spiritual pit, or a form of access to terrible knowledge. i know this is a personal thing, but noncon doesn't work for me if the character being noncon'd is just sort of *there*, suffering passively. i think that sort of dead passivity can be done very well too, but the narratorial voice has to persuade me.

that being said, don't be afraid of fear in consensual sex. terror and vulnerability are a part of consensual sex too, imo, and again, depending on the story and the characters, there's a lot you can explore there

i personally find it really hot when the narratorial voice starts discussing some of the ideas that the story wants to convey during the smut. so like, you can characterize person A and outline their worldview and their plans while they're ramming person B, and the thinking & fucking are thus entwined. idk, i dig that

speaking of which, smut can convey world-building details and social/philosophical ideas, not just emotions and character beats

not all smut has to end with mutual orgasm or even one-sided orgasm, it depends what you want to do or where you want to go. again, you don't have to follow a sequence. plus, it's fun (and hot) to write about frustration and failure too.

if you want to mix up the descriptions, resort to the story & characters. you'll find it's easier to describe someone fondling a boob in a new or at least interesting way if you're thinking about that particular character in that particular story, and not just Man X from planet porn (sorry to be snarky, but mainstream erotica is soooo guilty of this)

screaming & really intense reactions are cool but they have to match the characters and the situations

sometimes, it's hotter if an effect is mild or negated, if the usual outcome doesn't happen; mix up the order of events, toy with the usual reactions. it's not about being original, it's about finding out what works for your characters. writing about sex is, in a way, a performance of it, an attempt to go through the sexual motions, to find out what works and doesn't, to engage with the erotics of text (roland barthes entered the chat)

if you are bored by your own smut, that's a problem. i know we all talk about how hard we find writing smut, and IT IS hard, and sometimes it's not enjoyable, because writing itself is often not enjoyable, but even when it's painful and annoying, it gives you that little intellectual kick like "huh, i'm creating this and making these people do this, and ohh look, i can maybe put this unnamable thing into words". but if you become bored, that's a sign you have to look at the language & characters and figure out what's not working for you

last thing i'll underline: pay attention to your narratorial voice. in this ordeal, you are the seducer. not the characters. you have to seduce us with words and context. your voice matters the most. you can persuade us of anything. but you have to be confident in your weirdness and particularity. this is your bedroom (so to speak), so invite us in.

#writing #smut tips #writing advice #smut #my thoughts #replies

[jointherebellion215]

Flowers

Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x female!reader

Summary: You're living a perfectly content life on Geidi Prime with your husband. It's a shame your mind can't rest, sparked by glimpses of a life unknown. Loosely based on the song from Hadestown.

Word Count: 1.5k

TW: Dark!Feyd-Rautha, Dead Dove Do Not Eat, yandere!Feyd-Rautha, manipulation, gaslighting, like SO much gaslighting holy shit, descriptions of violence, abusive relationship, emotional abuse, isolation, tragedy, nonconsensual drug use, nonconsensual medical treatement, induced memory loss, amnesia, dubious consent, pregnancy, songfic, happy-but-not-really-happy ending, I know I said female!reader but there's virtually no pronoun usage or descriptive words in thisfor the reader besides titles so maybe GN!reader??

A/N: I'm blown away, almost 500 notes on His Kiss, the Riot? Holy shit, all of the thanks! Here it is, the final part! I'm ending it with the song that actually started this whole idea. Listening to Eva's interpretation of Eurydice singing Flowers gave me the most delicious, fucked-up bit of inspiration and this came out. I was clutching my own metaphorical pearls writing this cause damn, this gets dark. Like, way more than I thought I could write. Anyways, I hope you enjoy the end of this twisted tale. Thank you for reading! As always, I appreciate you taking the time to like, comment, and reblog.

Read Part One and Part Two

AO3

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Dune properties, characters, or storylines-- nor do I own anything related to Hadestown. The images used in this are not my own, and any similarities to stories or events other than what are directly referenced are strictly coincidence.

Lily white and poppy red

I trembled when he laid me out

“You won’t feel a thing,” he said, “when you go down”

Nothing gonna wake you now

Drops of blood. 

A wicked, black smile.

“You won’t feel a thing.” 

You wake up with a gasp. Your doctor had warned you about dreams like this. They weren’t real, just an aftereffect of your accident.

The medical staff for House Harkonnen had been gracious enough to inform you of your predicament. When your family had recently hosted the Harkonnens, you quickly met and fell deeply in love with the na-Baron Feyd-Rautha. Your love for each other was so intense that you had demanded to get married right away. Your father disapproved of the union, so he disowned you and banished you, demanding to never see you again.

On the journey back to Geidi Prime, a stray asteroid hit the ship and caused you to hit your head. Feyd had apparently worried for your life, which saddened you and warmed your heart. It was nice to know that someone truly cared for you. However, your mind wasn’t quite the same afterwards. Your life before Geidi Prime was completely unknown to you. Your memories were in a fragile state.

That was just a few months earlier. Unfortunately, your mind has not yet recovered your memories prior to the accident. You were diligently taking a specially brewed tea that would calm your mind so it wouldn’t fracture under the immense pressure to try and fix itself. When you asked how long it would take for you to recover, your heart cracked when they said that it may take the rest of your natural life.

While it broke your heart to hear of your father’s dismissal of your feelings, you believed that you were strong enough to carry on. Having no further ties to your home world made it better to settle in with your new family.

You are a Harkonnen now.

Now, your footsteps make the quietest of echoes as you traipse down the narrow corridor. Heads of nearby servants and slaves bow, and eyes snap to the floor as you pass by. You feel the barest of sympathies, for not being allowed the simplest of human connection with their na-Baronness. But it was paradise considering the consequences should anyone ever feel bold enough to try otherwise.

Your husband wouldn’t allow that.

Dreams are sweet, until they’re not

Men are kind, until they aren’t

Flowers bloom, until they rot and fall apart

“Can I not have a single friend on this planet?!”

You burst into your shared chambers, rage rushing through your veins. All you had wanted was to have lunch and tea with one of the few female palace advisors you had taken a liking to. Maybe share a laugh or a story. Make a connection outside of your new family. That was all ruined when Feyd barged in and gutted your companion, stomach-to-throat, while she sat in her chair.

You were sure that your shoes had trailed blood down the hallway, but your mind was focused elsewhere at the moment.

“What use would you have for friends? I am right here.” He closed in on you, grasping your arms and forcing you to look in his direction. “Am I not enough for you? Do I not give you everything you should ever desire?”

His hands tighten around your wrists, making you flinch. A stray tear falls from your eyes, guilt starts to overcome your anger.

“No, not at all, husband! You have given me everything I could have wished for and more,” You wrench your hands out of his grip and grasp his face. He showered you with gifts, never let you go hungry or thirsty and this is how you repay him? “I just… I didn’t think you would want to hear me talk about certain things. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful.”

“I know you don’t, my darling.”

You take a deep breath as you feel the tension in the room start to settle.

“Your mind is already fragile from the accident… I just want to keep you safe.”

Safe. That was the key here. He takes step back and retrieves a small dagger from his belt.

Feyd holds it up, showing you the weapon. “Did you know that your friend had a blade dipped in poison strapped onto her person?”

You can feel the blood rushing from your face. No. You didn’t know.

“I-I didn’t see a knife on her. She couldn’t have-“

“She did.”

He drops the blade and leans in closer to you, forehead aligning with yours. “There are people out there who seek to harm you, who seek to harm me through you. I can never let that happen.”

You nod furiously. You couldn’t believe that you had been so stupid. 

Trust is unbelievably hard to come by in the Galactic Imperium. Your few months’ worth of memories can even attest to that. It seems that the only people you can truly rely on is family.

“I only want what’s best for you.”

You understand now.

Is anybody listening?

I open my mouth and nothing comes out

Another argument discussion had emerged from your telling of your latest dream. Your husband was convinced that you were entirely too exhausted to put any stock into what your subconscious was telling you, but you thought otherwise.

Fingers run through a patch of bright pinks, yellows, and blues—

“I swear to you, it felt so real! It was almost like a memory, like something I-,” A firm hand is placed on your shoulder as you give a slight stumble. Feyd puts a hand on your back, leading you to the edge of your bed, setting you on the bench that was placed against the footboard.

“Please, have some of your morning tea, my darling. You look a bit peaked.” You accepted the cup he gave you, settling down and taking a few sips of the warm, spiced drink. Your mind instantly calms, anxieties evaporating from your body like puffs of smoke. Never mind the memories that you had just… Floating.

Your husband is now on one knee in front of you, arms encasing your body, as his hands cup your face. He brings your eyes to meet his, seemingly searching. For what? You do not know.

“What were you saying about this dream of yours?” A pause reverberates throughout the room as your head tilts in confusion.

“My…?” You stutter, mouth opening to complete a thought that was no longer entirely there. “I can’t quite remember. What were we talking about?”

Your husband gives a smirk, analyzing your face once more before placing his hand on the dark fabric covering your swollen belly.

“Nothing of import. It seems that my heir is set on scrambling your thoughts.”

There seemed to be nothing in this world that brought more joy to Feyd-Rautha’s face than the sight of you and his unborn child. He’s more protective of you now than ever, having guards always posted near you, having you wear a shield during all public appearances. Not to mention, he was damn near insatiable in private. His hands and mouth are practically dragged away from you and your growing stomach every morning.

You give a chuckle. “I’d heard about pregnancy brain before, but never knew it to be this taxing! Perhaps I’ll take a walk later if I’m feeling up to it.”

Feyd gives your cheek a soft pat before rising to his feet, “Rest, my darling. I shall check in on the both of you later.” His hand rests next to yours, giving your belly a quick rub before he walks towards the door.

Your head goes to set on your pillow, the warmth from the tea running through your body. You must be really tired, since you fall asleep so quickly.

Quick enough to not hear the deadbolt lock clicking from the outside once the door is closed.

Flowers, I remember field of flowers

Soft beneath my heels

Walking in the sun, I remember someone

Someone by my side, turned his face to mine

The dreams start to encroach your mind while you are awake. You continue to follow your doctor’s instructions: take your daily tea, rest often, don’t overexert your body or your mind. But, ever persistent, they push through, finding parallels with your daily life to latch onto.

A hand, gently enlaced with yours, guides you through a meadow—

You husband’s hands lead you to stand with him by his uncle’s side, preparing for another ceremony.

A laugh, familiar and warm—

A chilling cackle of laughter reaches you in your viewing box, watching your husband gleefully slay another adversary in the arena.

Bright, yellow sunlight caressing your face and neck—

The black sun of Geidi Prime pulses in your periphery as you wave to a crowd below, your husband standing stoically next to you.

A kiss, given freely—

Feyd ravishes you in your chambers, lips melding together with yours.

My darling—

My love—

My darling—

My darling—

My darling—

My darling—

My darling—

“Is everything alright, my darling?”

You blink, snapping back to the present. Pale, smooth skin and blue eyes, your husband extends his hand towards you. Safe. He gives you everything. You and your child will never struggle or suffer with him. You are safe with him. Aren’t you?

Blood splatters over a patch of bright pinks, yellows, and blues—

You give a bright smile.

If you ever walk this way

Come and find me lying in the bed I made

#dune #dune 2 #dune part 2 #dune part two #feyd rautha #feyd rautha x reader #feyd x reader #feyd rautha harkonnen #feyd rautha fanfic #feyd rautha fic #dune fanfiction #dune fic #feyd rautha harkonnen x reader #feyd x you #feyd rautha x oc #austin butler #austin butler fanfiction #inspired by hadestown #hadestown au #dune movie #dune 2024 #dune part II #orpheus and eurydice #hades and persephone #feyd rautha fanfiction #jada writes sometimes #dead dove do not eat

[marxo-fm]

Sessions

Part One. Part ii and Sessions playlist is out now.

Summary: You’re König’s therapist, and he is utterly and dangerously obsessed with you. He will do anything and everything to make you his.

Warnings: Adult themes and language, plot with smut, smut smut smut, thigh riding (omg this is crazy) stalkerish!König, toxic!König, innocent!reader, virgin!reader, König is filthy…FILTHY, praising.

Words: 4.2K

A/N: I’ve played COD before but just a little so I have no clue about it all (LMAO) but anyways my fyp is invaded with König and Ghost, not complaining, so I decided to write a little something. I heard he’s unstable (?) and there’s a bunch of fics where he has a therapist so I was like…lemme write something like this. I will give credits to writers who’ve inspired me once I find their accounts because I lost them smh. So don’t thank me for this, thank them. Also thanks to Brittany Broski, my rightful leader, for talking about König on the Broski Report Podcast. Made me want to write him some more tbh. ALSO THE GIF??? So scary in the hottest way.

It’s been awhile since König’s last therapy session with you, and it’s been driving him crazier by the minute. He realized now, just how much he wants you, how much he desperately needs you.

——

Weeks turned into days, then hours, minutes, and then seconds. Every tick of the clock had König going mental. The thought of not spending those seconds with you drove him mad and drove him with such urgency to have you by him. To be inside of you, at that.

Fists clenched then unclenched, König couldn't stand it any longer. Desperation ran in his veins like a predator watching their prey. He wanted nothing else but to see what you were up to, and visiting your home, was just the solution to his thoughts and needs.

(…)

It's been a few weeks since your appointment with König, and you're growing concerned. You look at the empty chair in your office, that's been sitting lonely for quite a few weeks. He hasn't called or informed you on why he's been absent, and you're sure he never will

In all honesty, you have no clue why you're so upset about it. Upset about a client who's been absent for weeks too much to count. Maybe it's because you can't help him anymore, well—not anymore, he's still your client. But the mere fact that he's not there to tell you about his problems and stories, or how his day was, bothered you.

Sure, he has things to do. So much more important than meeting up with your therapist right? Surely not, you want to help König to the best of your ability—but he made it so difficult.

You get a phone call that snaps you out of your haze, you pick it up. Only to hear a client of yours on the phone bringing their appointment up, which is today. "Yes! Today at six, correct." You assured, sitting down promptly on your office chair. You're glad you have clients today, something that'll keep you busy.

(…)

König is sitting outside in his car in the rain. The pattering of the rain took over his rather obsessive thoughts. Not only was he in the car alone, but he was right outside your home.

He peeks through your window, seeing only a dim light through the blinds of your house. His chest rose as he took a deep breath, chuckling to himself about how insane this all is. Going all out for your therapist? Never would he have thought to be doing such thing, but he can't help his desires.

He sighs, he gets the urge to exit his car and step foot inside your house and it made him feel dizzy. The thought of just stepping foot inside your property and seeing the items, the furniture—and so forth—that belonged to you. Something you've chosen out and purchased for yourself, with love. Now that, drove him on edge.

He finally exits his car, slamming it shut behind him. The rain drops hit his huge frame and he takes bigger steps to the front of your house. Eager to see the place you call home. The place you eat, sleep, and breathe in. It's all insane, he thought, but he's König. Insanity doesn't faze him.

"Fucking hell, the fuck am I doing?" He chuckled to himself as he somehow manipulated his way into your house. His wet boots are off and placed on the rug that says, "welcome" which is funny in this situation.

He looks around the well kept home, the dimly lit kitchen and living room, as well as the deliciously scented candle that's lit in the living room. Smells like you, coconut and bliss. He takes it in, like the maniac he is.

There was nothing really intriguing to the eye in your home, it's simple and basic, but still very homey. You had your favorite comics on the tv table and the tv was obviously shut off, books were stacked against the bookshelf and a few magazines were on the tables. You love to read, guess that's new information for König to keep to himself.

His big frame hovers over your iPad, without hesitation, he opened it. There wasn't a passcode, just a simple press of the home button and he was in, it wasn't like you had anything to hide and König found amusement in that. König chuckled, there was simply nothing on the iPad besides dates on your calendars that showed you have appointments throughout the month.

"Busy little one, aren't you, Mein Schatz?" He breathed through his mask, though he took it off for the time being, there was no reason to hide himself through a mask when home alone.

He misses you, and it's getting more painful not having you there with him, in your home. He's wondering what you're up to now, and how much time he has left before that lock of your front door turns.

It's a bad idea, he's already seen everything he wanted to see, and now it's time to leave.

Quickly, he puts his wet boots back on and turns the door knob slowly. He looks back at your place and then smiles, this surely won't be the last time he's inside. And he'll make sure it'll be the both of you inside the home at the same time.

(…)

"Anything else you'd like to share, Ghost?" You question Ghost, his eyes telling you so much he hasn't said yet, and you doubt he'll tell you more. You wish he'd say more though, but you're actually proud of today’s session. He shared more than the other sessions, that's always a huge milestone.

"No." He said sternly, his British accent thick and his voice gravely. "Okay great. I'll see you next week then?" He cleared his throat and walks to the door, "busy."

"So when are you able to?" You wonder, "I'll call when I can." He opens the door from your office and leaves. You sigh, at least you tried to the best of your abilities. You close your notebook shut, putting the notebook back into your drawer as you finally set the pen down after.

So, where we're you again? Ah, it's time to go home. Finally.

Well—not just yet. As you're getting your things ready to leave, you hear your office phone ring. Your brows furrowed in confusion as to who's calling this late, all sessions are...closed.

"Hello?" You question, hearing heavy breathing over the phone—you shudder. "Schatz, it's me." The German accent rolled off the man's tongue over the phone, your heart dropped in response. König.

"K-König?" You stuttered, in disbelief at the sudden call. "Mhm, I'm calling to apologize for not coming to our sessions but if I'm being honest...I want to have a session soon this week." He explained over the phone, your brows scrunched.

You're free this week, no sessions left, well one session now. It surprised you that König chose to call you so late over an appointment, but it didn't bother you, just—stunned you. "Of course, when would you like-" König interrupts you suddenly, "tomorrow." He breathed, his voice lower than usual. Laced with huskiness and exhaustion, and need.

Tomorrow? You can't turn that down, because you know that if you do, he won't come to another session for a long time—you feared. You clear your voice over the line, heart beating faster by the second and you're not sure as to why. Must be the sudden urge to come to a session, or maybe because he wants it soon. It's not like you're busy tomorrow or anything, but the mere fact that you'll see König after God knows how long made you nervous.

Something must be wrong, you're sure of it.

"Sure! Tomorrow at two, promise me you'll be there?" He never breaks promises, not with you he doesn't. He agrees over the phone, and the date is officially set. Grabbing your pen you just placed down, you take your König's personal journal and write the date down for tomorrow.

(…)

He was trying to stay composed but it's getting hard. His desires have become more stronger by the minute, and he wanted nothing more than to have you by him.

He ended the call, smirking under the mask after finally hearing your soft voice over the phone. You invaded his mind like a virus he's unable to get rid of, but in all honesty he doesn't want to get rid of it. He would stare at pictures of you all day, and the thought that bothers him the most—the one that boils his blood—is knowing that you have sessions with other men that's not him. Most of them he despises, the other ones he's not really worried about, since well—they're his friends.

It's almost sickening how much he wants you, how much he deeply needs you. Now, König sits on his bed. Mask off and so is his shirt. Revealing nothing but his well crafted muscles and his mind going hundreds of miles per hour of just you.

And to fix that "issue" he takes his rough right hand and puts it underneath his sweats, and then under the hem of his boxers. Finally, he grabs his thick cock tightly and leans his head back. Nothing but images of you holding his dick for him instead, and that just about does it for him. Quickly, he starts to slowly stroke up and down, groans fill the silent room. His strong hand grips the sheets of his bed, the delicate fabric became victim to his touch.

The rings in his ear became louder as he swiped his thumb over his tip that was already leaking, everything around König became a blur as he thought of you continuously. He's never been this obsessed with someone until he met you. He gripped onto his dick harder and his body starts to burn with flames too powerful to put out—and his heart beats quicker.

He's closer to his high than ever, throwing his head back due to the aching pleasure that consumed him. His eyes look at the ceiling, all that hunts his mind is you. You hunt him every second of his day, even when it's König hunting for you. His insides began tightening, the way his cock began to throb in his hand and how his precum brushes against his calloused fingers when his hands move to his sensitive area.

He lets out a final grunt as he looks at the mess he made in his lap, wishing you were there to clean it all up. His orgasm hit him harder than ever, and his breath is shaky. Stunned at how good you made him feel, it wasn't him that made himself feel good, no—it was you. All of it.

He tensed at first, letting rope after rope of his come dirty his abs and sheets. "Look at what you fucking do to me, Liebe." He whispered, beads of sweat roll off his forehead.

(…)

The next day passed, the day König booked his session to see you. Of course he wanted to talk to you about what's going on, but he mostly made the appointment to see you. It's been a long long time. He puts on his uniform and mask, getting all ready for his missions and well—seeing you.

——

You hear a knock. A knock so familiar and it wasn't just like any other knocks from your clients. König had a habit of knocking exactly four times, and it's a habit he has with you. You shout, "welcome in!" as you take your notebook and pen out. You put your glasses on and present yourself professionally.

König's huge frame stands before you, and you gasped. It's been so long since you've last seen him, you’re now practically strangers. "König! You're here." You proclaimed, welcoming him with a simple hand motion to the chair. "Hello, Mein Schatz." He greets, his voice husky. He looks at you through his eyes, investigating the way you sit professionally and have everything well kept and neat. It almost bothered him, in a good way.

You broke the tension with a question, “anything new?” He continued taking a good look at you, hungrily. It doesn’t show through his mask, but his eyes tells you everything you need to know.

You cleared your throat, waiting for König’s response. “I don’t like the new addition to the missions.” He said sternly, his fists clench and you could tell that bothered him to the extreme. “Why is that? Do you perhaps think they’re weak and unnecessary?” You queried.

He shifts in his spot, “Ja, I don’t like unnecessary addictions. I find it a nuisance.”

“Is it because you prefer having the men you’re familiar with more.. than the new men looking to work the same missions as you?” He prompts his elbows on his knees, leaning closer to the conversation. He is clearly interested in answering. “Yes. Exactly. We don’t need anymore men, we have quite enough of them.” His German accent is thicker, deeper. Cutting through like knife to butter. Your pen wrote down his answers as well as your thoughts in the notebook.

He watched you like a hawk, looking at you closely while you do your job. “Is there anything else, König?” You wonder, his dull eyes sparkled when he hears you say his name. “Hm,” he voiced, “you.”

Your brows furrow at his answer, you cross your legs and place your pen down. Unsure of what he means, and well of course, the therapist you are, you think maybe he has something he needs to say about you. “Did I do something wrong?” You stammered, unable to look him in his piercing gaze.

He chuckled, and you think maybe you embarrassed yourself with such question. “No, Mein Schatz, I need you.” He put forth. Your stomach drops at his answer, crimson red swipes across your cheek and you feel as though you’re going to pass out.

Never in a million years would you have thought to hear König admitting to the fact that he needs you. It stunned you in all honesty.

“I can’t seem to stop thinking about you, Ich werde verrückt.” He points his index finger to his head, “what does that mean?” You question. The part where he spoke in German, you wonder what he means.

He stood up, and you scooted your chair back in response. “It means I’m going crazy, Liebe, you drive me crazy.” König voiced.

You mistook his answer, mistook it thinking that you made him crazy in the worst way possible. “I-I’m sorry, we can gladly stop our sessio-“ he interrupts you, and it’s not the first time.

“Ts ts, I don’t want to. I meant,” he paused, then began, “you drive me crazy with need.” He explained.

You never knew you made him feel that way, and you look around the office just thinking about how unprofessional this all is. “König, when would you like your next session?” You dismissed what he said earlier, you just need to recollect yourself. Your feelings, thoughts and emotions. He just looks at you, quietly.

You walk to the door, and he walks behind you. Each step he took was heavy—and loud, sending shudders throughout your body. He stood behind you, the heat radiating from his body and on to yours.

His right arm reaches out for the doorknob and your heart dropped into a million pieces. God, he knew how to make anyone nervous.

He opens the door for you, and he finds himself out first, but before he does, he says something. “Next week, Friday.” He states, and then walks out of your office.

You take deep breaths, like you’ve been choked and you’ve lost all oxygen. You’ve realized now, just how much König’s little actions made you feel hundreds of butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

(…)

König steps foot inside your office. It’s Friday, and what happened the last session felt like it happened yesterday. His mind is all you, it’s all its ever been. Now he will use this opportunity to his dismay. “Hello, König.” You greet professionally, seated on your black chair.

König takes a careful look at you, he misses you immensely although it’s been a week. He noticed your outfit. Your tight black skirt that hugged your curves perfectly, and your white button up accentuating your breasts. He could open your legs wide right then and there and devour you like he hasn’t eaten in days, he’s drooling at the thought.

You turn to speak, and his entire attention shifts to your plump lips. And of course, König��s mind is filled with dirty thoughts. Too lewd to think out loud.

“Is there anything in particular that you would like to discuss today?” Your soft voice made his ears ring, and he couldn’t help the bulge forming in his pants. König wanted to admit that you’ve been on his mind, but he held himself back and contained it. “I’ve just been stressed.” He admits, and it’s true. All the mission stuff had him drained by the second.

“Oh? And why is that?” You questioned, he manspreads on your couch in the office, using the space to sit comfortably. His long legs and big thighs were spread apart, making it a perfect seat for you to sit on, is what he’s thinking. You gulp at the sight in front of you, and he takes his time with his answer.

“I don’t know, honestly. There’s just something new everyday.” He groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration.

You get up from your seat and prompt yourself next to him. His knees touching yours, and your actions shocked König—just a tad. That’s a lie, it shocked him, a lot.

He wanted to fulfill his fantasies right there, he had you in his sight and reach, but again—containing himself. “Talk to me, König.” You comfort, rubbing small circles on his hand. The action caused him to flinch, but he doesn’t say anything—yet.

After a few seconds, he answers, “I got into a fight with a lieutenant. I’d rather save that for another session.” Groaned König. “Okay, if that makes you comfortable.” You drawl, “how about coming to three sessions in a row? When would you like your next appointment?” You made sure to ask if there was anything else, but to your surprise—there wasn’t.

“Today.” He states sternly, you’re confused. “It’s already today, König?” You trailed off, dissociating at his answer. “I know, Liebe, I want our session to begin today.”

“But we’ve already finished our session for today.” You argued, all that König had contained was finally let out. He grabs his hand and wraps it around your throat, his actions made you let out a loud gasp, and with that—König lifts his mask up and kisses you.

You instinctively kiss him back, aware of how unprofessional this all is, but oddly enough—you didn’t really care.

König groans against your hot mouth, sending vibrations down your entire body. König felt like he was in a dream, finally kissing you didn’t feel real, you tasted too good to be real. He finally has you in his reach, and in his mouth. Your scent overtook his senses, and it drove him right over the edge. He could fall off and die happily, knowing he’s finally tasted you.

You deepen the kiss, and he bit your bottom lip in return, alerting you to open your mouth wider and let him in. He wants to devour you whole and you just let it happen. His tongue finds yours, and there you both are, kissing each other so roughly. His grip on your neck tightens just a little, not too hard, still allowing you to breathe. Though the kiss had you suffocating already.

More, more, more. Is what König says to himself in his mind, but you let go of the kiss. String of saliva leaves his mouth as you let go. Oxygen had left your body entirely, and you’re there gasping for air. You wouldn’t be surprised to see if your lips had been bruised from the rough and deep kiss. You’ve never been kissed like that before, or ever.

The both of you pant, you can’t believe what just happened. You’ve fully realized what he meant earlier, insisting he has another session. This is the session, and you don’t think it’s going to end soon. “Come here.” He ordered, patting his thigh. Your eyes dart to his big thighs, thighs that could crush you if he wanted to.

You did as he said, sitting right down on his right leg, in your point of view—to your left. He holds your waist tightly, balancing you so you don’t fall. Though you’re already holding onto his broad shoulders for support. “Why do you have me like this?” You question, flustered. König loves to see it, to see you flustered even though you never tried to admit it. He had that power.

“Liebe, do you know just how much I crave you? How much I’ve wanted to see you like this…?” he began, “you’re going to do as I say, right?” He asked lowly. You nod, heat rushing throughout your entire body from his needy words. You never knew how much he needed you, and it actually hit you. König, out of all people.

Secretly, you loved that. His desperation made you admire him, it must’ve been so difficult to contain such desires and feelings. Unaware of what he’ll say or do next, you wait. Patiently.

“Ride me, Mein Schatz.” Your mouth gaped open at his words, his fingers dug deep into your skirt, so deep you’re afraid it’ll leave a bruise. “K-König, what?” In disbelief, you stay still. You’ve never done anything of the sort, for fucks sake, you’re a virgin. König doesn’t know that—yet. Though you plan on telling him. And you plan on telling him now.

“I’ve never done this before, I’m a virgin, König.” You murmured lowly, but still loud enough for him to hear. “Oh, meine Prinzessin,” he looks at you like some prized treasure you are. His prized treasure that he wanted to display for the world to see. “Do you want to do this?” He consented, you look at him with eyelids so heavy.

You’re more than sure you want to do this with him, virginity isn’t a game, and you knew that. He knew that too. But you want to give it to König and you’ve already confirmed it before saying anything.

“I…I do.” You cup his face, hidden back underneath his mask. “I can’t go on if you’re not sure, liebe, tell me—do you want to do this?” He repeats his question, and you want to shout at his face the word yes, but you remain calm. “I really do, König. Show me the real you.”

“Want me to show you?” His accent is stronger laced with hunger, pulling you closer to him. He got the affirmation he needed, and you nod in assurance. He grabs your hips at once, and slowly moves them back and forth. Your brows furrow at the feeling of your soaked panties grinding against his rough combat pants. The new feeling had you addicted and König loves to see you fall apart little by little.

His cock ached and pressed harder against his pants as your hands grip onto his broad shoulder, tighter. The friction from his pants and your grinding made you let out a moan you didn’t know you were capable of making. A moan König could only hear in his head, except it became reality, and König was trapped in a haze. He saw the way your face contorted in pleasure, the way your lips pout as he helped you ride it out.

“So beautiful.” He huffs, pulling you back and forth even faster. You could feel your stomach twist into knots, alerting you that your orgasm is near, but riding against his thigh wasn’t enough. You needed more. “K-König…please.” You whimpered out, he tilts his head, getting the hint.

“Please what? Mein Schatz?” It felt like he was teasing you, but maybe he just needs to know what you’re saying please for. “Touch me.” You demand, desperately needing his rough and big fingers to touch you. “Ohhh darling, you don’t have to ask me twice.” He does just as you asked, rubbing slow circles with the pad of his thumb on your clothed cunt. He smiled under his mask at how wet you are.

The bundle of nerves formed tightly, forming at the very pit of your stomach. Flames ran through your veins and your body burned with lust. You found it difficult to hold his gaze as your orgasm is nearing. “You’re too good to me, liebe, you’re doing so good.” He praised, his eyes focused on your motions and he could just come at the sight of that. “K-König! I’m going to-“ he interrupts you, grabbing your hips with both of his hands and moves you back and forth impossibly faster.

“Come, schön, be a good fucking girl for me and let it out. I know you can do it.” He grunts, talking you through it. His praising and words of encouragement did just enough for you to reach your high. It felt like fireworks were exploding in your stomach, and your legs shook. It was all too much to bare, and you still rode it out.

“Attagirl, wasn’t so hard now was it, meine Liebe?” He appeals, holding your waist still as you tried to regain every last bit of dignity left with each inhale and exhale. “You think we’re done yet? Oh love, we’re just getting started.”

——

NOTE: This is just part 1 peeps, I honestly thought it was getting a bit too long (imo) so I thought—hey—why not turn this into a mini series? Hehe. Stay tuned for part 2, coming very soon. Also, if you’d like to be in my tag list, it’d be my pleasure. Just let me know in the comments. (Btw, English is definitely not my first language…so if there are any grammatical errors and mistakes, please let me know in the comments so I can fix them.)

:)

#call of duty #call of duty mwii #cod mw2 #könig smut #könig modern warfare #könig mw2 #fanfic #ao3feed #könig fanfiction #könig x you #könig #könig x reader #könig call of duty #könig cod #konig #smut #i am delusional #i cried while making this #könig headcanons #cod mw fanfiction #fanfiction #fiction

[ginkgo-phyta]

Hotch would definitely give you the princess treatment, and you know what? Jack would too, after seeing his father he knows how to treat a girl right. And the team would definitely tease Hotch, because his son is going to steal his partner from him :)

omg no LITERALLYYY tho like just like omfg alright i got carried away with this and its not even really what you're talking about but listen to me okay LISTENNNNN

tagged spencer reid x reader because i want more people to see this teehee pls dont hate me i have spencer fics yall should read if you havent already but also you should still read this too

YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH AARON HOTCHNER AND ITS INFLUENCE ON HIS SON JACK gn!reader, FLUFF, no warnings(?) another informal blurb typa format :P

you and hotch decide together you'd like to date for a while first, take things slower and fully solidify and strengthen your relationship, before you become a part of jack's life. you didn't want jack to get attached to you or write you off too quickly in case life took you in different directions. you didn't know it at the time, but hotch introduced you to jack when he was sure he was going to marry you some day- and soon. he had been so incredibly head over heels in love with you and once you and jack got close, the little guy really got to witness how highly his father regarded you- and just how he showed you it every day. even in the little things. from the way hotch pulled out your chair, held all doors open for you, always kept your favorite drinks and snacks stocked up in the fridge and pantry, never let you open your own car door, the way he made spaces for you in his bathroom and closet without even being asked, and how he always stuck to your weekly dinner date- whether in person or over the phone. to the way his father would look at you, listen intently to whatever you were talking or ranting about, how he'd cup your hands and press quick kisses to them or move any bothersome strands of hair from your face when you'd eat, and how enthusiastic he always was when you and jack would spend time together.

jack was a bit hesitant with you at first, he was a bit older at that point and the quickness with which beth had left his life had admittedly stung him, leaving an ever-present welt behind. but he warmed up to you, appreciative of the way you welcomed him with open arms, never pressured him to spend time with or even like you (letting him accept you at his own pace) and how you clearly were not trying to take the place of his late mother- even many, many years into your relationship with his father. what he loved the most was how you always encouraged hotch to recount stories of haley, put pictures of her in jack's room or wherever else he wanted them, and how you would remind him: "your mother would be so proud of you jack." you would watch old home videos of their old family and jack never failed to notice how you wouldn't ever feel negatively about it. that was really what won him over. he also loved how open you were with both him and his dad- every day you'd say "i love you!" both casually and purposefully. it instilled in the young boy the importance of expressing appreciation, love, and care for others.

before you, hotch was always a just bit emotionally closed off. even when it came to jack he liked to keep himself a bit more reserved. he tried to stay a strong and unwavering inspiration, only wanting to show his son his best face. but once you came into their lives you inspired hotch to open up more than he had the last few years after haley's passing, inspired him to embrace even the "uglier" emotions he felt in life: grief, anger, sadness, and tiredness. it ended up passing onto jack in small ways, allowing him to feel even closer to dad. you became a huge structural post in jack's life. your love for one other inspired him, as he grew up he dreamed of one day having a relationship like yours. he looked forward to being able to treat his significant other the way his father cares for you.

you loved jack as if he was your own, though you never wanted to say that to him for fear of overstepping your role. aaron would always assure you, especially as jack grew older, that his boy felt it. you watched him go from a playful child, to a moody teenager, to a budding adult eager to make his mark on the world. and you were there supporting him the whole way.

you'll spend a lifetime with the both of them and although there will be many funny, loving, or frustrating moments you'll hold in a special place in your mind, there's one memory from when he was still a youngin that you love the most. it was a surprise dinner party at your fancy restaurant, aaron had booked the whole place just for you and the guests to celebrate your engagement and he had enlisted jack's help to plan the whole thing. jack, the bau team, and your friends and family were all there to shower you in love. the most memorable part of the night was the moment everyone sat down for dinner, all around a giant table (possibly multiple tables pushed together). as everyone moved to take their place jack ran so eagerly in front of you to pull your chair out before his father got the chance. you were shocked for a second before bursting out in a melodious laugh- it was so unexpected but you were incredibly moved. "oh, jack, thank you!" your loving, excited, and genuinely appreciative tone made jack's already huge grin grow even wider and more endearing. everyone else had noticed this too and laughed in joy along with you. "oh my god!" "that was so freakin cute" "he did not just do that!" rang out around you. of course aaron noticed, standing in silence for a second, a similar smile mirrored on his face, before he shook his head with a chuckle. as you took you seat, jack made sure to push your chair in just before you sat down fully, diligently executing what he'd studied his father do hundreds of times before. you turned to thank him, but before you could even open your mouth jack moved to take your cloth napkin from the table, shake it open, and carefully place it in your lap. awwws flooded in from all sides of the table

"oh you are just so adorable jack, thank you so much." you said as you pinched his still slightly chubby cheek "you are just the kindest, sir." you playful tone cause jacks entire face to blush and he shyly walked over to take a seat next to you.

"what? you take my job, and now you don't even want to sit next to me?" hotch spoke up from you other side. jack knew his father was joking, but he still bashfully giggled, sinking a bit more into his seat

"you better be careful, hotch," derek spoke up from across the table, motioning to his former boss with a breadstick, "looks like you got some competition there."

everyone broke out into more laughter, especially aaron. in the midst of the hysterics, the once-stoic man's hand crept into your lap to hold your own, thumbing over the back of your hand and the beautiful engagement ring wrapped around your finger. you shared a glance while you both laughed before you looked over to jack. wordlessly, your hand suddenly hopped up to ruffle up the little boy's hair, causing him to scrunch up his nose and giggle even more.

but you didn't have to say anything, your eyes held the truth. love. jack continued to look up at you, feelings of warmth, joy, and safety draped over him like a fuzzy throw, covering him from the crown of his head to the tips of his fingers and toes. he knew that with you in his life now, besides him and his father, everything would be okay.

A/N: SCREAMING how was this anon? sorry i didn't delve into the team teasing hotch more bc these thoughts were swimming in my head and i NEEDED to get them down perhaps i could do another post of just teasing quotes if that's something you'd like! i got a few ideas swimmin already teehee i hope you enjoyed my love!!

#criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fanfiction #aaron hotch fanfiction #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotch imagine #hotch x reader #aaron hotch hotchner #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds fic #spencer reid x reader

[fixyourwritinghabits]

Checking In

Good day my fellow exhausted creatives, it sure does be A Time we're going through. There is certainly a lot of things happening at once, and like many of you I'm struggling to stay afloat while desperately playing catch-up. I'll be honest, shit's pretty damn fucked up. Sometimes it helps to take a step back and reflect on some reminders.

Don't panic.

People are facing a lot of hard choices when it comes to what platforms to use, and I know it's pretty tempting to burn everything down. Take a deep breath and think about your options. Nightshade and Glaze aren't perfect, true, but they're open about their limitations and are still tools you can use. Look into alternative word processors beyond Google Docs that won't have AI-scraping. Take your time deciding what to do with your creative output and where to share it. I am Old, and I have seen several social media websites crash and burn. You will always have more options.

Take care of yourself first.

I've seen a lot of people burning themselves out hard over things they can't control. Gaza, anti-LGBTQ issues, American politics, it's a whole lot and it's all overwhelming. You cannot accomplish anything if you don't take the time to put your oxygen mask first. Eat, sleep, turn your phone off when you feel yourself being sucked in. This seems obvious, but it's often the hardest thing to do, believe me I know. You gotta keep yourself going before you can help others.

Small things still matter.

There's a lot of things you can still do even when you feel like you can't. You can sign petitions, you can promote the activism of others. Vote in local elections. Keep yourself informed without drowning - check your news sources once a day rather than all the time. Talk to your friends, spend time with your pets, find ways to help in your local community (a great place to find resources is your library!). Go for a walk with a trash picking tool and a garbage bag. A small difference is still a difference.

Recharge Creatively.

It can be hard to do creative things when you feel like there's so many other important things to do. But being creative - creating art, writing a story, doing a hobby - IS important to yourself and others. Sometimes you have to force yourself to do so - I have to put "watch a movie" on my to do list, or I'll never make time for it. Go to a coffee shop and make art. Play that new video game. Write that silly coffee shop AU. These things are important to you, and they will carry through with what you want to do for others.

Do what you can when you can and you will make it through.

#gentle suggestions for trying times

[roosterforme]

Covering the Classics Part 4 | Bob Floyd x OC

Summary: Anna was afraid to face her new friends after the night out at the bar. Admitting she was attracted to Bob was easier to do than explain why she couldn't have him. When she finally sends him some book recommendations, she finds his taste in books familiar in an all too intimate way. 

Warnings: Fluff, angst, adult language, eventually 18+

Length: 4700 words

Pairing: Robert "Bob" Floyd x Female OC (this story is part of the Beer Boy/Sugar and Jake/Jessica universe)

Covering the Classics masterlist. Check my masterlist for more! Thank you to @mak-32 for the beautiful banner!

Anna spent the rest of her weekend working on lesson plans and looking at Bob's number saved in her phone. She had compiled a mental list of titles she thought he would like, and she'd even pulled a few dog-eared books from her own collection and stacked them up on her narrow counter. She would absolutely love to have Bob borrow them from her, but she'd completely messed everything up.

Why, when confronted with a decent man, did she shut everything down and destroy all hope? Because of Kevin. That's why. She knew this crush on Bob was a bad idea. Nothing good could come of it, but she still caught herself looking at his contact information on Sunday evening with longing in her heart.

She made herself a sad sandwich for dinner and packed herself a second sad sandwich for lunch the next day and then she settled in with her computer. The idea of taking her sad sandwich to the quad and eating with her friends was making her anxious. What if they didn't even want her around now that she'd made a complete fool of herself in front of their friend? What if they looked up at her as she approached them sitting on the bench with their perfect, beautiful lunches and scowled with their perfect, beautiful faces? 

"Oh no," she groaned, covering her eyes with her hand. She really liked them, but they probably hated her now. And she really liked Bob, but he probably went home with that better looking woman who was at the Navy bar and hadn't thought about Anna one time since. 

She forced her attention to her computer screen which was prompting her for a password. She entered Kev1n1s@t00L and watched as the website she'd had open on her browser came to life. She sighed as she scrolled through her saved favorites on PoetsAmongUs. It was kind of pitiful that she knew what she was going to end up reading before she could actually admit it to herself. 

Your whispers call out in the darkest shadows, My heart answers like a flame, Igniting this shared space with every breath I take, Giving you a love that will never find the end. It binds me to you, pulsing through my veins, Emotions like I've never known before. I've doubted that I could reach this place, But I feel endlessly sure here now.

Anna whined from her bed in her sad little apartment as she looked at the pen name of her favorite poet before clicking on it. He either never finished filling out his profile or he was being purposely vague. Male, 30s, United States. 

"Sky Writing. The only man I would trust with my heart ever again." She read the poem once more. That was her favorite passage, but she knew everything he posted by heart and got excited every time something new from him popped up every few months. 

It was late enough that she could probably just go to sleep without acknowledging that she hadn't texted Bob and probably never would. She couldn't set foot back in that bar ever again. Maybe that other place that Jessica loved so much would be somewhere she could check out next time she had nothing better to do. Chippy's or something? She started to doze off.

When her alarm started blaring, it was almost like she had slept too well. She'd dreamed about a faceless man with beautiful hands reading poetry to her while he ran his fingers slowly up and down her bare thigh. She couldn't shake the delicious feeling even as her alarm got louder. When she managed to turn it off, she lay there wishing she had time to go on the poetry website and masturbate before work. 

"Stop it," she whispered as she got up and started getting herself ready for the day. 

At least she got to teach English 522 this afternoon. Feminist Literature was becoming one of her favorite classes, as evidenced by her well worn copy of Carmilla by Sheridan Le Fanu which was in her bag. When she stood in her kitchen and ate a peanut butter granola bar and drank some coffee, she looked at the books she had pulled out as options for Bob, but she shook her head and left for the day without dwelling on how disappointing her life truly was.

Relying solely on public transportation meant leaving a lot earlier than you wanted to, but Anna still barely made it to her office in time to grab her notebook and teach her first lecture of the week. Half of the students still looked like they were asleep while the other half were looking at her like she was a literary messiah. It was almost comical, and when lunchtime rolled around, she was in a pretty great mood. Until she realized she was still on the fence about going to the quad. 

"Just do a vibe check," she muttered as she grabbed her lunch from her office. "If they look pissed off, you can come right back here and never talk to anyone else again for the rest of your life." She could subside on sandwiches and online poetry and only speak when she was giving lectures. That sounded simultaneously amazing and also terrifying.

The college campus was bustling today. There were some guys skateboarding through the quad, and she recognized a few other faculty members from the English department who waved to her. But that didn't stop her palms from sweating and her heart from thudding in a sickening rhythm that Edgar Alan Poe would think was beautiful. When she spotted the two women on the bench in front of the weird tree, Anna was shocked to see them waving to her with smiles on their faces. 

"Anna!" called Jessica. "You'll never believe it! The vending machine just gave me my bottle of Pepsi and a bonus bottle of ginger ale! Like it knew I was about to see you!"

"Chaos Theory at its finest," said the other woman before she bit into her carrot stick and hummus. 

"It's really more of the Butterfly Effect," Jessica replied. Anna had no idea what they were talking about, but they scooted away from each other on the bench to make room, so she decided to stay.

Anna swallowed hard as she sat and opened her pack of peanuts. "How was the rest of your weekend?" she asked the two of them, and soon her nerves calmed down. 

"Excellent. Bradley and I took a tour of the library yesterday."

"Pretty good. I helped Jake make waffles for breakfast. Lots and lots and lots of waffles. What did you do with the rest of your weekend? After the Hard Deck?"

Anna accepted the bottle of ginger ale that Jessica handed to her as she said, "Um, well I did my lesson plans for the next few weeks. And I started writing my midterm exams. Nothing exciting."

She was met with a bit of awkward silence, and she could feel the two women sharing a look behind her head. "Did you happen to text Bob?" Advanced Calculus asked cautiously, and Anna knew this was the part where it was all over. The dramatic climax, except she was actually the villain in this story.

"No, actually. I think that ship has sailed," she replied softly. 

"Why?" Jessica asked, not unkindly. "When we figured out that you and he already met at the bookstore in North Park, we were ecstatic. He's the mystery guy you were losing your mind over, Anna! The handsome one with glasses who smells so good!"

"He really does smell good," Advanced Calculus muttered as she dipped another carrot into the hummus which was probably unfairly homemade. "Are you no longer attracted to him? Was it his nerdy tee shirt? Or were all the guys so obnoxious you couldn't wait to leave?"

Anna held onto the cold bottle of ginger ale a little tighter as she said, "It's not that at all. I mean, who in their right mind wouldn't be attracted to Bob? And I thought his shirt was kind of charming. And the rest of the guys were welcoming in a slightly intense way."

Now Jessica was turned to face her, eyes wide behind her glasses. "Bob thinks you ran away from him twice now because he's unappealing and boring."

Anna jolted and the pack of peanuts went flying to the ground, nuts rolling in every direction. "He does?" she asked, palms beginning to sweat again.

"Yeah. Big time. But he's quite attracted to you. Apparently the red hair is a thing."

"Oh my god," Anna moaned in embarrassment. Bob liked her red hair? "Oh no. No. No. He's just.... he's so.... and he's also.... I can't even." She took a deep breath as she kicked at the lost peanuts. "Bob is so handsome. It's hard to look into his eyes for too long, because you start to feel like you're going to break out into song. And I don't think I've ever been around a man who smells quite that nice. And he's funny and just a touch nerdy, but that's a good thing." 

There was another beat of silence before Advanced Calculus said, "I'm not really understanding what the problem is."

Anna shook her head and unwrapped her sandwich to keep her hands busy. "Listen, none of my weirdness is because of him. It's all because of me. I can't have a crush on him. I can't be interested in him. I can't be interested in any men whatsoever."

Jessica nudged her shoulder and said, "Maybe you could just text him? Maybe making another new friend wouldn't be so bad?"

--------------------------

"Well if you can't find a girlfriend, I hope you're at least getting your rocks off with an attractive lady."

Bob was cradling his forehead in his hand and trying to escape from Suzanne's house without having this conversation. Whenever he stopped to pick up dinner instead of cooking something at home, he always brought something for her, too. It was the neighborly thing to do, especially when your neighbor was decades older than you, but right now he just wanted to vanish. 

"I wouldn't tell you even if I was," he replied, earning a laugh as she opened up the container of soup at her kitchen table. 

"Sit down and stay for a while," she told him, pointing to the empty chair. "I'll pay you back for dinner with my charm and witticism since you won't accept any money."

His phone started to vibrate in his uniform pocket, and he dug it out thinking it was probably Jessica having finished mocking up her barbarian character for their campaign, but it was a text from an unknown number. He was about to pocket his phone again, but then he saw the words book recommendations and paused. He quickly unlocked the phone and started reading the texts that were coming through.

I have some book recommendations for you if you still want them. I'm sorry I didn't send them over the weekend.

This is Anna, by the way.

I should have started with that information.

Wow. This is already embarrassing.

Bob laughed and started to type back immediately, and then Suzanne's voice cut across his thoughts. "Are you sure you don't have a special lady? You're smiling an awful lot at your phone."

He looked at her and shook his head. "I'm sure. I like this girl, but she doesn't return my feelings that way. She's just sending me some recommendations." He started to back away as he added, "Enjoy your soup. I'll see you later, Suzanne."

"Good night, Robert."

Bob ended up standing just inside his front door as he saved Anna's number and typed back a message to her. He thought keeping it simple would be his best move. Anything more than that and he'd embarrass himself once again by getting ahead of himself with his feelings. 

I would love some more recommendations from you. You're the expert.

He only had to wait about a minute for her response, which was just a list of book after book after book that he'd never even heard of. The first were the ones she'd given to him verbally on Friday night, but the rest were just as foreign to him.

Anna Webber: Persuasion by Austen. Northanger Abbey by Austen, Lady Chatterley's Lover by D. H. Lawrence, The Age of Innocence by Edith Wharton, Far From the Madding Crowd by Thomas Hardy, Mrs Dalloway by Virginia Woolf, Cranford by Elizabeth Gaskell, and The Black Tulip by Alexandre Dumas (because you like poetry so much)

Bob quickly ate his own container of soup while he read the list over and over again. Then without changing out of his uniform, he grabbed the keys to his beat up truck and headed to the bookstore in North Park to see if he could find any of these titles before they closed.

The store was virtually empty, and when he climbed the stairs up to the slightly dusty loft he could practically picture Anna's pretty hands and painted nails gliding along all of the spines. He could imagine her pretty, wide eyes looking up at him before she figured out he was boring. He could hear her laugh as he made his way to the spot where they had been standing together.

That horrible Vonnegut book was still there which made him chuckle. "Figures nobody else would want to read it," he muttered as he reached for it. Then he backtracked a little bit to start collecting everything from Anna's list. He referenced his text messages several times, hunting all over the Classics section until he had almost everything in order. Then he spread them out along the shelf and took a photo. He texted it to her before he could second guess himself after he added a short caption. 

Did I miss anything?

He was walking back down to the poetry section when his phone vibrated.

Anna Webber: You're at the bookstore right now? The one in North Park?

Bob froze in the middle of the stairs. He embarrassed himself without even knowing it. He must seem desperate right now. Running out to the store as soon as she sent him the list. "Shit," he groaned softly. When he got another message, he was almost afraid to look at it.

Anna Webber: I LOVE that store. I wish I were there right now, too.

Bob thought that sounded perfect, actually. Maybe if she were here now, she wouldn't run away this time. He'd been playing those kinds of scenarios over and over in his head, ones where she liked him back the way he liked her. Ones where they left the bookstore holding hands.

He continued downstairs to look for the book of poems she suggested for him, which he found quickly, along with Votive by Keiran Goddard. Would Anna like a copy of his favorite book of poetry? Did he even want to ask her? At this point, he had nothing to lose. She wasn't going to suddenly want him, but that shouldn't stop him from sharing a recommendation of his own. Especially when she might really enjoy something he found so spectacular. 

Bob held the book up and snapped a quick selfie, sending it away into the universe before dwelling on it too much.

--------------------

Anna was preparing a piece of toast with jelly for herself or dinner, desperately wishing she were back at the bookstore. Bob was there, probably smelling so nice and luring everyone else who was shopping closer to him. Perhaps he was wearing another Dungeons & Dragons shirt like he'd worn to the Navy bar. Perhaps his biceps were straining against it.

She didn't have to use her vivid imagination for very long, because suddenly Bob was staring at her through her phone screen with his crooked little smile and his beautiful eyes. And his uniform. 

"Oh my god." The toast slipped from her fingers and landed jelly side down on her plate as she took in every single detail. Navy uniforms were khaki? Why had she assumed they were all navy blue? Why didn't she know more about the Navy? She was going to take the time to learn everything she could about the United States Navy. 

When she realized her mouth was dry, she reached for her glass of water and downed it. She was in a daze. A Bob Floyd induced daze. Even all the little pins on his shirt were distracting. She wanted to count all of them. She wanted to touch them. She wondered what they would feel like if she pressed her lips to them. 

"Stop," she gasped. But she couldn't. Now her eyes drifted up to his face again, and she thought she'd only really ever seen the exact color of his eyes in a Kandinsky painting at the Guggenheim. She couldn't look away. "No. No. No!" she moaned. And then she finally read the actual message he'd typed out after gawking at his photo for five whole minutes. 

Bob Floyd: Have you ever read Votive by Keiran Goddard? It's my favorite collection of poetry. 

Anna laughed a little hysterically. She hadn't even noticed he was holding up a book at all. His graceful fingers were wrapped around the damn thing, but she'd been too distracted by him to actually look at the book. But now the fact that she'd never read Goddard before had her flushed and flustered, because Bob had sent a book recommendation to her. Nobody ever did that, and all she could think about was how she absolutely needed to get her hands on a copy and devour the whole entire thing if it was something he liked. 

Very calmly and rationally, she typed back to him.

I have not read it yet, but I'll add it to my list of things to check out of the library. 

When she set her phone down and realized her toast had become a casualty to this text conversation, she moaned and flipped it back over. Her heart was still beating a little erratically from looking at Bob's photo for too long, and she didn't think she could even eat. There was no way she could waste any food in her current financial state though, so she took a bite anyway as he texted her back.

Bob Floyd: I'll just pick it up for you while I'm here. I hope you'll like it, but if you hate it, that's okay too. It's a bit of an acquired taste.

Oh no. She couldn't let him buy it, because she didn't have any extra spending money at the moment to be able to pay him back. But admitting that to him would be excruciatingly embarrassing, and she didn't even think she could do it. Perhaps she could scrape together twenty dollars if she skipped a few meals, but then she wouldn't be able to join the girls in the quad at lunchtime. They'd notice her lack of food right away. 

"Why are you such a disaster?" she asked herself as she scarfed down the rest of her toast and typed back to him.

Thank you. I can pay you back for it later.

She would figure it out. She always did. Even when she didn't want to, she managed to find a way to solve her problems. Even when it hurt.

Bob Floyd: It's my treat. I can give it to Bradley or Jake at work tomorrow. I'm sure either of the ladies wouldn't mind getting it to you when they see you. Or if you feel like it, we could meet for coffee one day and I could give it to you in person. Just let me know.

"Oh, Anna," she whispered, already typing out a response before she could think better of it.

--------------------------

Bob was surprised Anna took him up on his offer to meet for coffee, but he found himself looking forward to it in spite of the fact that he was still pining a bit. He'd get over it in time. He'd find someone new to crush on, or maybe he'd meet another girl that he was interested in, and maybe she would be interested back. But none of that stopped him from being excited at the prospect of being around her again. And none of that prepared him for the way he felt when Anna pushed through the door of the coffee shop on Wednesday evening and looked around tentatively. Her red hair was in another loose braid, and her freckles were so endearing.

As soon as her eyes landed on him, she looked less apprehensive but also more resigned. When she approached the table where he was sitting with three books, he stood. "Hey. Anna. How are you?"

"Hi, Bob." Even her voice was soft and sweet as her eyes swept along his face and body. She blushed a pretty shade of pink as she said, "Thanks for the book. Will you let me buy you something to drink?"

He didn't respond beyond nodding and leading the way toward the counter. He listened to her order a small coffee before he ordered a large hot tea, and when she reached for her wallet, he was already handing over a twenty. When she looked up at him with wide, brown eyes, he just smiled. "You don't have to buy me a drink."

She watched the money leave his hand as she said, "Well, you don't have to buy me one either."

"Too late."

She was quiet as they returned to the small table with their hot beverages, but as soon as she sat, she said, "You'll have to let me pay next time."

Bob slid two of the books across the table as he asked, "Next time?" But she didn't respond as she let her fingers brush along Votive before she picked it up to reveal the one underneath it.

Anna's laughter filled the small space as her eyes darted back up to meet his. "You bought Cat's Cradle? I didn't think that was the kind of thing you were looking for?"

He glanced down into his tea. "Uh, it's not. I got it for you."

"Bob," she said quietly, her fingers tracing the spine now. He liked her nail polish and wanted to touch her hands. "You did not have to get me two books."

"Yes I did," he said with a smile. "Vonnegut sounds horrible. I felt bad for it because nobody else was ever going to buy it. I couldn't just leave it to rot on the shelf when I know the only person who would be willing to give it a nice home."

When she laughed again, she seemed resigned to the fact that the books were both hers. "Thanks. Money is a little tight for me right now. You know how it is when you first move," she told him while she fidgeted a bit. "But next time, I'll buy your drink. Or your book. Or something."

"You keep saying 'next time'."

Anna poked at her coffee cup and said, "I thought maybe.... we could be friends."

"Friends." His voice felt and sounded stale. The word made him feel sadder than it should have. "Of course."

She looked even more relieved now as she took a sip of her coffee, but Bob was busy trying not to memorize the pretty pattern of her freckles across her nose and the way her lips were pursed. He wouldn't look at a friend that way. 

"Which book is that?" she asked, nodding toward the last one in front of him. 

He flipped it over so she could see the cover, and he said, "Oh, it's The Age of Innocence. I'm almost done reading it, and I was just hoping to get your opinions on a few things."

Anna's eyes went wider. "You're almost done reading it? Already?"

"Yeah." His voice sounded like a groan, and he knew he should be embarrassed since she recommended it two days ago, but he said, "Once I start a new book, I can't put it down if it's good."

"So you like it?" she asked, leaning a little closer to him as a smile played along her lips. 

"It's fantastic," he replied, and her foot brushed his softly beneath the table.

Anna licked her lips and shifted in her seat as she made a soft sound that just made Bob want to get closer to her. She clasped her hands on the table in front of her and cleared her throat before she blurted out. "You're really handsome." His lips parted wordlessly, unsure how to respond, but he didn't have to as she immediately said, "And you're not boring. Not at all. I could have stayed in that dusty bookstore all afternoon, tucked away in the loft, talking to you about book after book."

"Oh," he replied, his brow furrowed in confusion. "Really?"

"Yes. Really," she said, and it sounded like she meant it. "I didn't disappear because of you. I disappeared because of me. And I'm really sorry about that."

Then he realized what was going on. His friends got to her already. He'd told Jessica on Saturday night that he was sure Anna ditched him because he's probably not as handsome or interesting as she's used to. And now he was going to have to text her and tell her to lay off. This whole thing was embarrassing enough without having to hear Anna pity him like this.

"Don't worry about it," he told her softly with his best attempt at a smile. "We can be friends."

When he got home, she texted him to thank him again for the books and the coffee. But he was still thinking about her freckles and how far down her neck they might go. Maybe they made a pretty pattern across her shoulders, too. Maybe they would disappear into her bra, a perfect treasure for another man to find. But not Bob. Bob and Anna were just friends.

------------------------

When Anna finally got home after taking two buses, it was so late, she knew she should go right to bed. But she was wishing for another cheap bottle of wine to try to take her mind off of Bob. He was perfect, and she couldn't let herself have him. They could be friends, but nothing more. She could send him texts, but they couldn't flirt. 

She already missed his soft voice and the way he gave her his entire focus when they were together. He bought her two books! Nobody else ever bought her books! And he read the ones she recommended to him! Maybe Kevin was to blame for most things that had gone wrong in her life, but literally no man she'd ever known was as kind and thoughtful as Bob.

She collapsed back onto her bed in her sad apartment were she could look at her kitchen and her bathroom at the same time, and she opened the book of poetry. Bob's favorite poetry. Within minutes of reading the first few pages, she felt warmer and maybe a little flustered. The passages were romantic and insightful in such a familiar way. Something was tickling at her brain, trying to trigger a memory. She kept reading, making it fifteen pages in before she gasped and realized what it was. 

"Sky Writing," she murmured, reaching for her computer in favor of the book. She was reminded of her favorite novice poet from her favorite website. The poetry in the book sounded a bit like the poems written by Sky Writing, and now Anna was even more of a mess knowing that this was the kind of intimate literature Bob preferred to read. 

She wanted him. She wanted to know what his big, sturdy hands would feel like on her body. What his lips tasted like. She wanted to erase that pinch of doubt she saw on his face when she tried to reassure him that even though they were going to be just friends, she definitely found him attractive. 

The next time she went shopping, she was going to need to stock up on some more bottles of cheap wine.

-------------------------

Just friends. Okay, Anna. Sure, babe. Let's see how long that lasts. Bob's wingwomen are powerful. Thank you @lauratang for the book/reading list! And thanks to @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 5

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#bob floyd x oc #robert bob floyd x oc #robert bob floyd #bob floyd #bob floyd imagine #robert floyd imagine #bob floyd fic #bob floyd fanfiction #robert floyd x oc #robert floyd fanfiction #robert floyd fic #robert floyd #top gun imagine #top gun maverick imagine #top gun fanfiction #top gun maverick fanfiction #roosterforme #covering the classics

[bwabys-scenarios]

Halloween with the Spiders

Phantom Troupe x Fem!Reader

!!REBLOGS APPRECIATED!!

warnings: looots of pussy eating, characters get hard/horny around reader. they eat her pussy after drinking, but they’re only buzzed, not drunk

A/N: I write Chrollo as the shy and awkward guy he actually is so… he’s not super suave in this. Also sorry I wrote out Kortopi, Franklin, and Bonolenov. I’m just not interested in their characters like at all 😭🙏 they’ve got nothing going for them I’m afraid!

taglist: @desiray562 @lovelyxkazuha @ashdownunderscorebeloved

if you would like to be added to the NSFW taglist, comment a ❤️!! make sure you have your AGE in your bio, and that you’re able to be tagged/mentioned!

It was the end of summer, august slipping into September before you knew it. The weather was still warm enough outside for you to be wearing a tank top and shorts, something the blonde you were currently dealing with appreciated greatly.

“Okay Shal, you should be good to go. You can get a popsicle from the fridge now.”

You were the sweetheart of the Phantom Troupe, a woman Chrollo had recruited to be the troupe medical director after he watched you donate your time and services to meteor city residents.

Right now, you were at one of the various expensive hotels Chrollo rented for you, using your nen to tend to Shalnark’s wounds. “Thanks, (Name)! I really thought I was a goner this time!”

He gives you a sly smile as he laps at the popsicle you give him, causing you to laugh. “Shal, you had a cut on your cheek. I swear, you’re such a baby.”

You didn’t know the real reason he always came with injuries in… strange places. He wanted you to use your nen on him, knowing it worked in an unusual way.

When you wanted to heal someone, you used physical touch, and depending on the severity, it could be a touch of your finger to a kiss from your lips. Today, it was a simple touch.

You glanced at the TV, a Halloween themed add popping up. “Oh wow, they’re showing these real early this year.”

Shalnark looked up, biting down on his popsicle. “Huh, weird.”

He hummed, getting a mischievous look in his eyes. You were a real sweetheart, but also easily manipulated by sob stories. “You know, none of the Phantom Troupe has ever celebrated Halloween.”

This had your full attention immediately. “… what?”

———————

Ever since Shalnark informed you of the troupes lack of Halloween experience, you’ve been meticulously planning a way to celebrate with them.

It wasn’t easy getting them all together unless Chrollo willed it, so you’d have to go to the leader to ask for a favor.

You were one of the only members that knew of his location at all times. In your mind, it was because you had an important role, but in reality it was because Chrollo quite enjoyed your presence.

“Chrollo!”

You sprinted towards the dark haired man, and though calling out his name in public wasn’t exactly the safest thing to do, he didn’t scold you. He instead smiled, opening his arms and allowing you to jump into them. “I’m glad you could find me with ease. Let’s go to a cafe and you can discuss what you wanted to talk about with me.”

Chrollo never let you pay for your own things when he went places with you. He said it was because you did so much good for the Troupe, but that was only a half truth. He enjoyed taking care of you.

“Mmm… oh!”

You placed your pumpkin spice muffin down, and Chrollo couldn’t help but laugh when when you held up a finger as you chewed. “I almost forgot to actually talk about what I came for! Chrollo!”

He lifted a napkin, wiping at your mouth. “Shh, (Name). You shouldn’t speak my name out loud so easily, it’s not exactly a common name.”

You blushed, and he placed the dirty napkin in a nearby trash can. “Oh, sorry…”

He motioned for you to talk, and you cleared your throat. “Anyways, Shalnark told me that none of you have ever celebrated Halloween! Is that true?”

He stared at you for a moment, trying to see why you’re bringing that fact up. “Yes, that’s true, we haven’t c-“

Your tears surprised him, but not enough for him to react. You’re kind of known for being a bleeding heart, so his expression stayed neutral, but he did offer you his handkerchief. “Chrollo, Halloween is so much fun! You get to carve pumpkins, wear costumes, eat lots of treats…”

You paused, reaching out to grab his hand. “So, the reason I asked to see you…”

Chrollo waited for you to continue patiently. He couldn’t help but find your ditzy and forgetful nature endearing, so he smiled.

“I want the troupe to get together on Halloween at my house!”

This actually surprised him. He nearly choked on his strawberry scone, having to pat his chest for a moment. “You… you said the troupe? As in everyone?”

“Mhm!”

He stared at you for a moment to see if you were being serious. You were smiling, looking hopeful and expectant.

‘How… can I put this gently..?’

Chrollo squeezed your hand, causing you to tilt your head. “(Name), my sweet and kind friend, the troupe has only come together once in the past three years, and that was for an important heist. I’m not sure if they’ll want to meet for… a Halloween party.”

You giggled. “Oh, but I’m sure they’ll love it! Besides, if you order it, they’ll come!”

He sighed. You looked way too cute, giggling and smiling as you pulled out a notebook and began showing him the things you already had planned.

Sometimes, when he watched you, all he could see was Sarasa. Your perky personality and compassion for others reminded him of her so much, it was one of the reasons he adored you so.

And one of the reasons he had trouble telling you no.

“Alright, alright. I’ll ask them to come, but it won’t be mandatory.”

You squealed in delight, nearly jumping over the table to give him a hug. “Oh, thank you Chrollo! It’s going to be fun, I promise!”

He sighed, smiling and patting your back. Normally, Chrollo would push any other person away, but he let you get away with a lot. “Okay, (Name).”

———————

It was the day before Halloween, and you were sulking. Already, three of the Troupe members wouldn’t be able to come. Franklin, Kortopi, and Bonolenov each called to say they couldn’t make it.

You’d spent most of the week decorating your house and getting it ready for guests. Feitan, Shalnark, and Shizuku would be staying in your three guest bedrooms while the rest rented hotels.

“(Nameeeee) come open the door!”

You blinked, looking out the window to see Shizuku behind your door. “Oh, Shizuku, you’re early. I thought you’d be here tonight?”

She walked into your home, turning in a circle before tilting her head. “I wanted first pick of the rooms, so I finished up my job quick.”

That was only half true, she wanted more private time with you!

“Oh, that makes sense. You’re just in time then, I finished making all the beds a few minutes ago!”

She nodded and walked upstairs to pick her room. Not even five minutes later, you heard someone knocking at your door.

“Coming!”

You open the door to see Feitan standing behind it, holding…

“Feitan, is that… is that a pumpkin?”

“Halloween, pumpkins are important.”

He handed the pumpkin to you before pushing past you into your house. If you didn’t know any better, you would think he looked almost… proud of his “gift” for you? Feitan watched you carry the pumpkin into your kitchen, where you sat in on the counter.

“Oh wow, it’s huge! What a nice pumpkin!”

He nods, following you. “Stole best one.”

You held back a laugh, knowing he was a bit sensitive when it came to giving gifts and being nice. “Oh, I can tell. Thank you so much Fei!”

Feitan had the habit of following you around like a stray cat when he was around. It was an improvement to your relationship when you first joined the Phantom Troupe as an honorary member. He used to sprint away from you the second you looked at him, and now he followed a few feet behind at all times. Honestly, he was pretty cute. Like a stray cat.

“Hey princess!”

You blinked as your door was torn off its hinges and Uvogin walked in, laughing and stomping into your kitchen before picking you up into a crushing hug.

Feitan stood in the doorway, watching the interaction with narrowed eyes. “Careful, Uvo. She not like us. Fragile.”

uvogin looked down to see Feitan was right. The girl in his eyes was making a pained expression, patting his arm to signal she couldn’t breathe. “Oh, my bad.”

He let her go, keeping her steady as she drew in breath. “Woo… now that is a bear hug that I think an actual bear would give, Jesus Christ…”

You turned back towards the cabinets and began taking out what you would need to get started on baking. “Uvo, could you be a dear and grab my Halloween decorations from the attic? I tried to get them earlier, but they were way too heavy.”

“Of course!”

He walked up the stairs, leaving you to sigh softly. “Okay, let’s see what we can do about that door-“

“It’s aight, (Name). I’ve got it fixed.”

You nearly jump out of your skin when Phinks and Shalnark just appear behind you, and peek over them to see that your door was indeed fixed!

“Oh, thank you guys!” You give them both an affectionate pat to the arm before continuing your baking preparations.

———————

By the time you finish baking, your house is full of Phantom Troupe members. Pakunoda, Nobunaga, and Machi arrived individually within the last few hours. Machi shyly offered to help you bake, watching you from the corner of her eye as you worked. ‘Cute, she’s even wearing an apron…’ Machi thought, her eyes soft as she watched you.

Chrollo was the last to arrive, getting to your house at nearly 8 pm. He opened the door, every member looking up to him when he did. “Hello, everyone. I’m glad to see you could all make it.”

You rushed forward and took his coat, gently scolding him for not wearing a shirt underneath. He laughed, sitting down and smiling at the troupe. Chrollo waited for you to go back to the kitchen before his face returned to its usual serious expression.

“As you can see, (Name) has tried her hardest to make our first Halloween celebration the best it can be. You’ll do as she says, and have fun, though I’m sure none of you wish to upset our special girl.”

They all glanced between each other, nodding slowly. After that, they had a quick meeting to discuss non Halloween matters before (Name) came back into the living room. “Okay, I know I gathered you all here before Halloween, but it’s only to go over my plans and give you all your gifts!”

“Gifts? Aww, you didn’t have to do that for us, sweetheart.” Nobunaga said, smiling.

“But I wanted to! Lemme go grab them!”

You scurried up the stairs, giggling the whole way up. “It seems she’s excited about this.”

You walked down the stairs a few minutes later with a large box in your arms, whining a bit. “Hnn… it’s kind of heavy…”

Several of the boys jumped up to help you, but Feitan got there first. “Give. Too weak.”

You handed the box over, knowing Feitan was doing it to help you. “Thanks, Fei!” You gave him that pretty smile of yours, and the rest of the troupe grumbled lightly.

Feitan sat the box on your coffee table, using his sharp nails to slice open the tape. “…”

Inside were clothes, all the same design. “(Name) what exactly are these… gifts?” Shalnark asked, tilting his head as he pulled a set out.

“Oh, they’re matching pajamas! I was hoping we could all get a picture together!”

You hand out everyone’s clothes, smiling.

“How did you know our sizes?” Pakunoda asked, seeing the set of pajama was her size. You giggle, turning towards her.

“I have my ways~”

Surprisingly, most of them were completely fine dressing in the Halloween themed pajamas for pictures, and the ones that weren’t did it anyways.

Phinks sat on the couch after the pictures, humming. “Huh, these are pretty warm and soft. You mind if I take these with me back to my hotel?”

“I don’t mind at all, they’re yours after all!”

The people that weren’t staying the night filed out soon after, all thanking you, a few giving you hugs and cheeky kisses to her forehead.

“Goodnight, (Name). Sleep well, and thank you for this.”

Chrollo was the last to leave, saying that before cupping your cheek and planting a kiss on your forehead. It left you. A little flustered, but you still waved at them all. “Be safe, and make sure you’re here by 9 am!”

Shalnark, Feitan, and Shizuku stayed behind, the former two eating some leftovers you had in the fridge. “Wow, it’s been nearly a month since I’ve gotten to try your homemade cooking, (Name)! This is amazing!”

You felt your face heat up, giving your friends a sheepish smile. “I’m happy you’re enjoying it.”

Soon, everyone went to bed, and you climbed into your own, excited for the day to come.

You wake up in the middle of the night to the feeling of eyes on you. You’re quick to reach for your light switch, only for your hand to come in contact with someone’s face.

A hand covered your mouth before you could scream, the person shushing you gently. “Don’t worry, it’s just me, (Name).”

Shalnark sat, crouched next to your bed, that boyish smile on his face as he pulled his hand away. “Huh… why are… why are you in my room?”

“Oh, we’re watching you sleep.”

“We’re?”

You blinked, glancing around the room to see Feitan standing in your doorway, leaning against it. “I not watch, making sure he don’t try something.” Feitan corrected, glancing to the blonde.

“Oh, you wound me Fei. I would never hurt (Name)!”

“Not hurt, but might touch while sleeps.”

The blonde blushed, glancing down at you as you gave him a disturbed look. “No, I promise I wouldn’t do that! I just… you look really cute when you sleep!”

“… how many times have you watched me sleep??”

“… almost every time we have a mission together.”

Feitan nodded to confirm this, walking into your room. “He not mean any harm, just worried.”

Shalnark pouted at his friend. “So you were teasing me on purpose earlier?”

The two ignored him. “Worried? What does that mean?”

Feitan sighed, plopping down on your bed. “We… lost people before. Shalnark get anxious, not want you to get hurt. Watches you.”

You soften, gently patting the blondes head. “Aww, Shal, that’s really sweet. I’m okay though, I promise!”

You give them both a smile, tentatively patting Feitan’s arm. He tenses, but doesn’t move. ‘Progress!’

You kind of treat Feitan like a scared stray cat, and it works most of the time. After your gentle pat, he scoots closer ever so slightly. You rub your eyes and yawn. “Well, I’m going back to sleep.”

You turn around and pull the blanket up to your chin, snuggling into your pillow-

“Shizuku!?”

“Hi.”

The dark haired girl was lying next to you, wearing the Halloween pajamas you gave her. “W-when did you get here?”

“I’ve been here the whole time.”

“She has.”

“Longer than Shal.”

You sigh, lying back on your pillow, accepting this. “Okay, as I said, I’m going to sleep. Just… don’t do anything weird and you can all stay.”

Strangely, having the three in your room helped you sleep better. It almost made you feel safe, knowing your friends were watching over you.

——————

The Troupe gathers in your living room at 9 am sharp, some looking tired, others perky. You’re surrounded by your comrades, some(namely Shizuku and Feitan) hovered around you shamelessly as you began to speak.

“Okay, the first thing on our list is pumpkin carving!”

You had Uvogin and Phinks help you carry in the pumpkins as Pakunoda and Machi laid out newspaper to keep your living room clean. “So this isn’t just normal pumpkin carving, it’s a contest! I’ll be the judge, and whoever makes the pumpkin I like the best, wins!”

“What’s prize?” Feitan asked, poking his pumpkin. You blinked at the shorter man.

“Oh… I think I completely forgot about a prize. Any ideas guys?”

You smiled, still in your cute pajamas. Shalnark raised his hand. “Shal?”

“How about a blowj-“

Phinks smacked the blonde over the head before Shalnark is pulled away by a few members and scolded in the corner.

“Hmm? What did he say?” You asked, tilting your head. Chrollo cleared his throat, the man surprisingly flustered easily.

“Nothing. How about… a kiss from you as a prize?”

You hummed softly. “A kiss? That doesn’t seem like a good prize, I don’t think anyone here would want th-“

The entire troupe started to argue with you, and you blush.

“Oh, um… okay. A kiss it is.”

This helped to motivate the group, but before they could start you raised your hand. “Two rules, guys. No nen, and you have to use these pumpkin carving tools.”

Already, Machi and Shalnark were pouting. Feitan took the pumpkin carving kit, raising an eyebrow at you. “… dull blade. Why?”

“Well, it’s supposed to be child safe.”

“(Name), we’re a band of thieves.” Chrollo said, his lips twitching into an amused smile. “We can handle actual knives.”

You whine and hand him his own kit, puffing out your cheeks. “Well too bad, thems the rules!”

You cross your arms and walk into the kitchen.

“Haha, you sure pissed her off, boss! Boss?”

Chrollo sat in the chair with his head in his hands, groaning. “I’m an idiot.”

Uvogin clapped him over the back with his large hand, laughing. “Oh don’t worry boss, you know she can be pouty when it comes to our safety.”

“Boss not wrong though. Kill people, can use knife.” Feitan grumbled, stabbing his pumpkin.

“Fei, I don’t think that’s how you carve a pumpkin.” Phinks said, crouching down.

“Tch, you know better?”

Phinks held up his phone, a tutorial on the screen. Pakunoda, Machi, and Shizuku sat together, ignoring the men as they carved their pumpkins, occasionally dodging flying pumpkin guts.

——————

You walked out of the kitchen 30 minutes later, carrying in some muffins shyly. “Sorry, I was a little rude earlier. I made some- oh, are you all done?”

You ignored the complete mess the troupe had made, happy that you laid out plenty of newspaper. Nobunaga nodded, holding up his pumpkin. For an expert in the sword, it looked… really bad.

“Yep, we just finished up!”

You hummed and looked over each pumpkin. “Oh, Paku, is yours a cat?”

She nodded, trying to keep a neural expression. It was a little cat, and you couldn’t help but coo and take a picture. “Cute!”

It wasn’t amazing, but cute nonetheless. You continued looking, the next one to catch your attention being Shalnark’s. It was an image of some anime character, and despite looking amateur, you could recognize the character. “Oh, is that sailor moon? It’s really good Shal!”

He gave you a proud smile, holding his pumpkin i his lap. The last pumpkin that caught your attention was Feitan’s, which was honestly the best looking one. It was a detailed carving of human heart, and you couldn’t help but be impressed.

“I think we have a winner!”

You pick up Feitan’s pumpkin and hold it up for everyone to see. Despite being upset they didn’t win, everyone also agreed his was the best looking.

You placed the pumpkin on your table before smiling. Under his jacket, Feitan’s cheeks were a soft pink as he stood before you. “Fei, are you ready for your prize?”

He froze, his hands trembling slightly in his pockets. Feitan had always been on the shy side, and when it came to you, his shy nature only intensified. The others could pick this up, especially Phinks and Shalnark. The two were about to speak up, but you talked first.

“Fei, I won’t kiss you if you don’t want it.”

His eyes widen slightly. How should he tell you that it’s not that he doesn’t want to kiss you, it’s the fact that he wasn’t sure how his body would react to such a thing? Shit, it was already hard enough to not pop a boner in your presence, a kiss might kill him!

“Kiss… kiss alright. Can handle it,” he tried to say nonchalantly, but his words came out shaky. You smiled warmly, stepping closer and gently tugging the hood of his coat down.

“Are you ready?”

His heart thumped against his chest rapidly, his eyes half lidded as he stared at your soft lips. “Y-yeah…”

You leaned forward and pressed your lips to his for a moment before pulling away, giggling. “There you go!”

You open your eyes, only to see him tug his hood back into place and speed away from you. Feitan’s face was bright red, and he could feel his pants tighten as he his under hid coat.

“Well,” Chrollo said, getting everyone’s attention. Only few people would be able to read the hint of jealousy in his eye as he spoke. “What’s next, (Name)?”

———————

After a quick lunch, the group gathered at a corn maze. “Okay everyone, we’re going in groups of two, using the buddy system in case we get separated! Stranger danger, ya know?”

Phinks patted your head. “No one else is here, (Name), we’re the only people in line. I don’t think we’ll have any trouble with stranger danger.”

“Besides, we’re all adults and nen users.” Pakunoda said, slightly amused by your concern.

“Hmph! We’re doing the buddy system, there’s scare actors in there. What if one of them can use nen? It’s better to stick to pairs of two!”

Chrollo nodded, paying for everyone to enter. “That’s smart, (Name).”

The pairs were as so: Chrollo and Pakunoda, Phinks and Feitan, Shalnark and Machi, Uvogin and Nobunaga, then Shizuku and you.

Pakunoda glanced at you and Shizuku. “Are you sure that’s a good idea, (Name)? Shizuku can be a bit forgetful, I don’t want you two to get separated. You’re scared easily, aren’t you (Name)?”

Shizuku huffed before pulling you into her chest. “Hey, I’ll keep her safe! I’ll stay focused!”

You blushed a little, your face directly in her breasts. “Mmph!”

She released you, patting your head. “Whoops, you alright?”

You nodded shyly, your face hot.

The group entered the maze, taking different paths. It was large and intricate, more like a labyrinth than a maze. Shizuku kept a hold on your hand, occasionally squeezing it when someone jumped out to scare the two of you.

“Oh. (Name), are you scared?”

You were trembling and holding onto her arm, giving her a slight nod. “A little, y-yeah…”

The two of you continued to walk through the maze, but Shizuku seemed to space out. “Hmm…”

She let go of your hand for just a moment, and when you attempted to grab her hand again, she was already gone. “Shizuku? Shizuku!”

You shook in your little Mary Janes as you tried to find her. Just then a man with a chainsaw begin chasing you, causing you to shriek and sprint in a random direction. “AGH! SHIZUKU! SOMEONE!”

You cried in fear, spotting a familiar figure and nearly sobbing. “Uvo! Nobu!”

They looked up, Uvogin opening his arms to allow you to jump into them. He held you close as you trembled and cried, obviously terrified. Nobunaga gave you a look of concern before glancing up, unsheathing his sword and the man approached.

“Hey, back off. She’s scared.”

The man takes one look at the two menacing figures before turning around and running away. Nobunaga turns back to you, gently running his hand over your hair to smooth it out. “Hey, he’s gone. You’re okay now.”

You sniffle a little, but relax into Uvogin’s arms. “There ya go, princess. Just relax. We’ll find our way out.”

The two spent the rest of the maze in silence. Their intimidating presences alone were enough to keep all the scare actors at bay. By the end of the maze, you had fallen asleep, your arms around Uvogin’s neck.

“Uvo, Nobu? Oh thank god, you found her!”

Shalnark ran towards the three, looking over you with relieved eyes. Nobunaga held a finger up to his lips, the blonde getting quiet. “She’s sleeping, Shal. Did anyone find Shizuku?”

Said girl was being scolded by Feitan close by. She seemed sorry enough, glancing at you with regretful eyes. “I didn’t mean to leave her, I got distracted…”

Chrollo took you from Uvogin’s arms, sighing softly as he tucked your hair behind your ear. “That doesn’t matter, all that matters is she’s safe. Let’s get her home.”

By the time the group got home, it was dark. You awoke when you heard a wet thwack!

“Huh? What was that?”

Chrollo set you down. “I’m not sure, I think it’s coming from around the corner.”

You peeked arousn the corner, your eyes going wide. “The pumpkins! Hey!”

You run forward, the troupe following close behind. A group of drunk men were smashing the pumpkins you all worked hard on. “Hey, you assholes! Get away from-“

You attempted to shop them away, but were pushed to the ground. “Shut up, bitch. Stupid whore thinks she can tell us what to do…”

Thankfully, Phinks caught you before you could hit your head on the concrete, his strong arms lifting up up. “You alright, sunshine?”

You nod, sniffling a little, tears running down your cheeks. “They… they’re smashing our pumpkins…”

He did his best to comfort you as the rest of the Troupe advanced. “Trash, make her cry.” Feitan spits, wielding his umbrella.

“What should we do, boss? Can’t let them hurt our sweethearts feelings, can we?” Pakunoda asked, ruffling your hair as she passed by.

Chrollo hummed. “Take them out, but wait until we get (Name) inside.”

Pakunoda, Feitan, and Shizuku stayed outside while the rest walked in. You heard screaming for a minute, then the sound of Shizuku’s nen activating.

“I’m sorry about the pumpkins, (Name). I know you liked them.” Shalnark said, sitting next to you as you sulked on the couch.

“It’s okay… I got pictures of all of them… at least…”

Shalnark patted your back before opening his phone. “I’ll call in some pizza, okay? Uvogin and Nobunaga brought alcohol, so why don’t we watch some horror movies and chill?”

You nodded, rubbing your teary eyes. “Yeah, that sounds fun…”

——————

It didn’t take long for everyone to get pleasantly buzzed, you included. The troupe gathered around your TV, each taking turns to sit next to you. After all, you always jumped into the lap of whoever sat next to you when you got scared!

You stood up, humming. “Imma grab some treats, made ‘em yesterday.”

Little do you know, Shizuku had an idea. You returned with the tray, placing it on the coffee table and smiling. “Okay, dig in g-“

The dark haired girl snuck up behind you, yanking your skirt down and sitting you on the coffee table. “Let’s play a game, whoever can eat her out and make her cum the fastest, wins.”

You sat there dumbfounded, trying to process the fact that your pussy was on full display for the entire troupe, and they were all blatantly staring. You tried to close your legs, whining, but Shizuku kept them held open. “H-hey!”

You pour at her, but you don’t make any further moves to stop her. You’ve never had someone eat you out before, you hadn’t even had sex, so the thought of all 8 members present taking turns making you cum was making your pussy drool in delight.

It’s not like you haven’t imagined it a few times. Your fellow troupe members were attractive, and although this was a little embarrassing, you were a little excited.

“F-fuck…”

Phinks crouched down in front of you, taking a good whiff. You squeaked, your face hot with embarrassment.

He’s quickly shoved away by Machi, who huffed. “You said you get to go first? We’ll have to draw straws.”

Chrollo cleared his throat, the bulge in his pants more than evident. “That’s a good idea, Machi. Get the straws.”

You were allowed to sit down on the couch, a pillow under your hips to get you comfortable.

The first one up was Feitan. You felt a bit sorry for him, he was obviously inexperienced in such a thing, staring at your pussy with wife eyes, his hands shaking a little when he grabbed you by the hips.

He lowered his head to your pussy, looking up at you with those dark eyes. He took his coat off, now only wearing pants. Even from this angle, you could see the tent in his pants, his cheeks a light shade of pink.

“Come on, Fei. Hurry up!” Phinks yelled, tapping his foot impatiently.

Usually, Feitan could be pretty intimidating to most people, but you knew that he wasn’t actually a bad guy, he was just a bit shy and awkward. You played with his hair, trying to encourage him. “It’s okay, take your time.”

Even as you said this, you lightly bucked your hips trying to reach his face. You couldn’t help it, he was so close to burying his nose in your pussy.

Maybe he just needs a little guidance…

You look at him, grabbing a fist full of his hair and gently guiding him to your cunt. His eyes widened, and when his lips touched your pussy, he moaned into you. Feitan’s tongue darted out of his mouth, testing the waters.

“Mmph…”

He buried his face in your pussy, licking and sucking everywhere. Occasionally he’d touch your clit, but you knew without some more guidance, he wouldn’t be able to make you cum.

Gently, you grabbed his hair again, cooing softly as you guided him towards your clit. “Here, Fei.”

He glanced up at you through his dark eyelashes, immediately latching onto your clit. This had you mewling, your hips bucking into his face.

Feitan was a fast learner, you only had to show him how to please you once and he was on it like a hawk. After a minute, you ended up cumming on his tongue, panting softly.

Phinks clapped Feitan on the back as the dark haired man pulled away. “Hey, it took a bit but you got her there! Nice job, man.”

Feitan looked at you shyly, patting your thigh. “… good girl.”

‘Oh, he’s so cute.’ You thought, wanting to give him a kiss or something for his efforts, but the next person up was already crawling between your legs.

Pakunoda held your thighs apart, her thumb rubbing against your clit. “Is that good, princess?”

You nodded, whining a little. “Mhm… ahh!”

You squeak when she inserts a finger, now sucking on your clit as she adds another finger in. You bucked your hips, but she keeps you still.

You cum pretty quick, the woman smiling up at you as you catch your breath. “Mm, you taste divine, (Name).”

She gave your pussy a kiss before moving away for the next person to come.

Chrollo and Shalnark were similar in the way they ate you out. They liked to make a lot of eye contact, their fingers curling inside you, sometimes chuckling on your clit as they suckled on it.

Phinks and Uvogin were rough, their big tongues filling your pussy up, their fingers stretching you out. They both groaned when your walls clenched around their fingers as you came.

Nobunaga and Shizuku were a little desperate, their tongues lapping at you and fingers thrusting into you at ungodly speeds. Although you came quick, it wasn’t as satisfying when you came the previous times.

Machi was much like Pakunoda, taking her time and making you cum on her tongue easily. She was the only on to grab your breasts, making the others jealous. They hadn’t even though of that!

By the end of the night, you were exhausted!

The pillow underneath you was soaked with your cum, your skin covered in a thin sheen of sweat. “Our sweetheart seems tired.” Phinks teased, crouching down to help you get dressed.

The group decided to sleep in the living room, and you fell asleep being cuddled by the entire troupe.

Was it easy being loved by a band of thieves? No. Was it satisfying?

Oh yes.

“This was the best Halloween ever…” you whispered into Chrollo’s chest. He smiled and kissed the top of you head.

“It really was.”

#x reader #anime x reader #headcanon #requests open #reader insert #hxh x reader #hxh imagines #hunter x hunter x reader #anime x chubby reader #chubby!reader #chubby reader #female reader #fem reader #hunter x hunter headcanons #hunter x hunter #hxh #chrollo x reader #feitan x reader #phinks x reader #shalnark x reader #uvogin x reader #fem!reader #nobunaga x reader #machi x reader #pakunoda x reader #hunter x hunter smut #x reader smut #hxh smut #smut requests #smut fanfiction

[convolutedblasphemy]

Ace in the Hole

notes: originally didn't plan to write abt hazbin or interact with the fandom because i've... heard tales... but for a show with a canonically aroace character my fellow asexual brethren deserve more content that caters to them. don't let this flop please.

synopsis: playing cards with the radio demon, you decide to make a harmless ace joke after rosie informed you that alastor is aroace. you soon have to realize that he has no idea what you're talking about and now he wants an explanation.

contains: alastor x reader (platonic or queerplatonic), gn!reader, aspec reader (left as vague as possible), shenanigans

warnings: alastor's eating habits, i left it vague where exactly on the ace / aro spectrum reader is but they do make jokes about allonormative society in the story so be warned.

"Come in", you heard Alastor's voice from behind the door, along with the familiar radio static you could perceive whenever you walked past his room. However, you had never actually been inside. But following the offer, you pushed the door open and stepped into the radio demon's quarters.

The sight that greeted you was something that was half bedroom, half forest. It was as though someone had ripped the hotel room in half and put it into the woods. Alastor was sitting at a small table on the grass, in front of him a plate with a raw deer head on it. His metal fork was buried in the creature.

"Ah, it's you", he exclaimed with a tone that sounded overjoyed, "how can i be of assistance on this fine day? Excuse the mess, my dear, I'm just enjoying a nice brunch."

You hesitated for a moment, caught off guard by the lifeless deer head and the questionable things that Alastor considered "brunch". You couldn't help but raise an eyebrow, glancing back and forth between the radio demon and the dead animal. Pressing your lips together to a thin line, you shook your head. "You know what... I'm not even going to question this anymore", you let out a sigh, "deer cannibalism... why the fuck not, I guess?"

The last part you mumbled to yourself but Alastor's ears perked up when he heard the statement. "Oh, would you like some?", he offered, holding the plate up, "I still have the eyes left. They're the tastiest part."

You cringed upon hearing those words, trying to limit the amount of disgust that showed on your face. "No thank you, Alastor...", you rejected his offer awkwardly, "I would like for my stomach to remain intact."

"Your loss. More for me!", he shrugged with a satisfied smile on his face and plopped one of the eyes into his mouth. A quiet ew escaped your mouth and Alastor looked up to you again. "Did you say anything, my dear?", he turned the fork in his hand, inspecting it, though you were unsure what he was hoping to find.

"I was just wondering when you'd be finished with our poor furry friend over here", you explained and Alastor, who had noticed how you felt about the beheaded deer on his plate, was kind enough to cover the rest with aluminum foil and put it in the fridge. Damn right, you better not put this thing in the community fridge downstairs, you thought to yourself.

"Oh, what's the rush?", he wondered and looked at you with a curious glint in his eyes. "I was just wondering if- god, you're so questionable", you interrupted your inquiry when you caught a glimpse at the inside of Alastor's fridge, containing many such "meals" as you had just seen, "I was wondering if you'd like to play a game with me. Board games, card games... you can pick. Just nothing where I have to sell my soul."

Alastor let out a laugh. "Ah, you know me too well", he put a hand on your back and led you over to a bench in the corner and a table, "well, I'd be delighted to. So long as it's not Monopoly, that game is a crime against humanity."

"How so?", you asked raising an eyebrow. "It has led to countless divorces and at least one case of someone being burnt alive", he explained. "I'm just going to assume you had nothing to do with the latter?", you chuckled and Alastor gave you a proud smile.

"I can assure you, it was one hell of a barbecue!"

"I trust nothing that you would label a barbecue", you sighed.

"And why is that?", he asked and you gestured towards the empty table where he had just devoured the deer head, "ah, good point. So, what game would you suggest we play? Will anyone else be joining us?"

You shook your head. "No, it's just us. Angel is making the others downstairs watch his 'best performances of the last decade' and I did NOT need to see that. Also one of Pentious' Egg Bois apparently has the measles- no fucking clue how that works- but I didn't want to risk it", you let out sigh, "and then I was bored so I'm glad that you have time to indulge me."

"Always a pleasure, dearest", he hummed, manifesting a deck of cards out of seemingly nowhere, "so what you're saying is that I am your last and only choice of entertainment?" He smirked at you from across the table.

"Well, considering that the other options are worse, I'd say you're my first choice of entertainment", you reasoned with a smile. "Flattery will get you nowhere, darling", he chuckled.

"Why is it so hard to be nice to you?", you rolled your eyes, which only made Alastor laugh again. "Would you like some coffee or tea?", he asked, summoning a cup of black coffee for himself. You nodded. "Tea would be nice." Alastor snapped his fingers once and you could now find a small porcelain cup in front of you with some tea.

"Just so we're on the same page here, this is normal tea, right?", you inquired. "What do you consider 'normal' tea?", he looked at you with an amused smile. "Well, tea that is made from herbs, has no meat in it and won't give me Prion's disease", you elaborated, resulting in Alastor snickering and holding his hand in front of his mouth. "It's just hibiscus tea", he assured you. You were satisfied enough with that answer and took a sip, realizing that it was indeed just regular tea. It had a nice taste and made you wonder why Alastor would dislike it.

"You seem to enjoy it", he remarked, watching you from across the table. You nodded. "It's nice. Thank you", you smiled at him and then shot him a challenging glare, "who knows, if you keep doing nice gestures like this for others, maybe you'll go to heaven after all."

"HA! Heaven?", he let out a laugh and leaned back into his seat, "I have a better chance at becoming the next queen of England!" You found the mental image of that amusing. "Who knows?", you shrugged, "the afterlife is long and if Charlie eventually intends to be able to redeem everyone, you're going to be the leader of the angels before there's any chance of progress on Mothman's ugly nephew."

Alastor gave you an amused chuckle upon hearing what nickname you had just used to refer to Valentino.

"If that happens, heaven's lost all sense of self-preservation", you could hear static over his laugh and his image seemed distorted for a moment, his pupils replaced by radio dials. He returned back to his usual form just mere seconds after.

"As for the game", you suggested, "how about we play Rummy? Haven't played that in a while."

Alastor nodded. "That should provide plenty of entertainment for me", he began handing out the cards, "especially when you lose and sink into the miserable pit of despair." The last part had his voice distorted by the radio static.

Alastor handed out the cards and you began playing. Unfortunately for you, he already had plenty of melds on the table when your hand was still full of cards. You watched him curiously as he was focusing on his hand, planning his next move. You noticed how the ears on his head twitched a little, one of them flicking back as if something had irritated it. That's so adorable, you thought to yourself, suppressing a smile.

"Don't think I don't notice you staring", he chuckled without looking up from his cards. You denied it. "Are you going senile or having hallucinations?", you teased and Alastor played three aces on the table.

The Radio Demon was ready to tease you in return when you interrupted him. "Oh look! It's us!", you pointed at the three aces. Alastor looked a little confused but ran with it. "And who's the third ace?", he asked.

"Well, technically I don't know any other aces in hell so far...", you put a finger to your chin, "I was making a joke. It was a little flawed but I thought it was funny." "So we're two aces?", he asked for clarification.

You nodded.

"So you view us as the most valuable cards in the deck?", he further questioned. Rosie had told you that Alastor was what people would nowadays classify as aroace. What she didn't mention with any word, however, was whether or not Alastor was aware of that and as you now had to realize, he had no idea, which put you in an awkward position. "Oh god, you don't fucking know...", you mumbled and Alastor's ears perked up.

"Know what? Which part of the joke am I not getting?", he wondered, tilting his head to the side as the static got louder and his tone seemed more threatening, "I hope you aren't trying to mock me."

"Not at all", you raised your hands defensively and sighed, "I just forgot you're from a different time period and unfamilar with the terms. Rosie told me you're aroace."

"A what now?", he blinked in confusion.

You sighed, whispering to yourself. "I should have a PowerPoint ready for scenarios like this- never mind!", you found your enthusiasm again and began explaining the terms to him.

Alastor nodded slowly when you were finished, as though he was having an epiphany. "So you're saying I'm not experiencing sexual and romantic attraction because I am aroace and not because I am unhinged and clinically insane?", he asked with a wide smile on his face.

"The clinical insanity is in fact its own separate thing", you confirmed. "Good to know", Alastor seemed delighted, "back in the day it might have been considered a mental illness, so I never brought the topic up with my psychiatrist, after all I wouldn't be able to do my radio show from the psych ward, right?"

"Priorities...", you remarked dryly, "wait- you had a psychiatrist? And you still ended up like this?"

Alastor shrugged. "I was there for my irrational fear of bees, not because of the homicides."

You raised an eyebrow: "And you really didn't think mentioning the homicides was necessary?"

"Of course not!", Alastor exclaimed gleefully, "they didn't cause me any distress."

"Right...", you gave him a slightly concerned gaze, "did it at least help with the phobia?"

"It did. I am no longer scared of bees."

"That's great."

"I eat them now."

You buried your head in your hands. "Well that's just wonderful, Al..."

"So asexuality... it's pretty rare from what I understand? During my lifetime I've never met anyone else who felt this way, at least not that I knew of", he explained and you smiled at him. "Estimated to be about 1% of the population", you answered. Alastor smirked at you. "Why do you seem so excited?", he asked.

"Solidarity!", you exclaimed and held your hand up so he could give you a high-five. The fact evaded you, that Alastor also didn't know what a high-five was, so he just ended up linking his fingers with yours and holding your hand. "So what now?", he asked, staring at your hands with a confused smile.

"You're a little confused but you've got the spirit", you brought out with a wheeze, trying to hold back from laughing. Alastor chose not to dwell on the gesture any longer.

"Well, I suppose you're right, it does feel nice to have somebody who is also immune to the flesh vessels of the feeble mortals", he admitted, and you raised an eyebrow in surprise at his description. "That's one way to put it..."

After losing the game of Rummy to Alastor and answering a variety of other questions he had such as "Why are there flags and what do the colors mean?" and "Does it still count if the garlic bread and cake has raw venison on it?", you decided it was time to join the others downstairs again, as Charlie had another exercise planned for today. "I must say, you're a delight to be around", Alastor remarked, wrapping an arm around your shoulder like he would with an old friend, "do feel free to stop by any time, my dear."

You thought it was a pity he didn't intend to join you downstairs, but you felt as though the two of you had gotten a little closer by finding something you had in common. And Alastor refused to show it on his face, but you had a feeling, that there was a little relief and peace inside him, knowing that there wasn't a big part of the human experience he was told he was missing out on after all.

Reblogs and comments are appreciated! If this gets enough notes I'll write Alastor QPR headcanons.

#alastor x reader #hazbin hotel #alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #asexual #ace #ace alastor #aroace #aroace alastor #aromantic