#until around 22

[nexttothelamp]

bruh

#do i even know? probably not #god its taking so long to get healthy #also i just... cant fucking feel comfortable ranting in the tags on here because of a particular follower that makes me uncomfortable 🤣 #cant unfollow them i know them in real life #but i makes me very uncomfy how they watch my blog 🤣 #like i wanted to get in here and rant about the struggles me and bae are having (not with each other lmao) #and like my illnesses that are fucking keeping me foggy and sick #but im thinking about one person. who i never see and dont have to at all if i dont want to #and i have quite a few other followers from real life! and i am happy to see every single note! #but this particular person. is such a miserable experience for me #i refuse to be mean to them. it wouldnt be worth the psychic damage #but fuck they make me sad #they talk over everyone and are such a fucking know it all #like an old friend can try to ask me about the city that I currently live in? and have?? for nearly 6 years now?? and THEY answer over me?? #like bruh #also i have personal issues with being disrespected or ignored when im speaking; namely due to that being the default of my existence #until around 22 #i think about deleting my blog or renaming it but #i like nexttothelamp and i like this blog #idk maybe by the time im 30 ill have the guts to block them 😅 #but yunno what? this felt better #yunno my therapist has told me this over and over and over #but lmao i guess it still bears repeating #externalise that internal struggle. even if the thoughts are small and petty and dont feel like thwyre worth your time #write it down #then read it. or burn it. rip it up or eat it it doesnt matter 🤣 #damn this DID make me feel better #get that petty bs out of my body and let it dissipate into nothing~ #lmao i wanna bitch more and get more specific but even they arent that clueless #id say delete later but i wont

[originalartblog]

Good morning~

#chuuya just scooted over to Dazai's side during the night. stole his pillow and everything #vee (@videogamelover) started sending me pictures of orange and black cats and saying they were skk (and co) #and of course there was a picture of two cats cuddling and it's been proven that it's the easiest way to make me draw cuddles #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd fanart #bsd chuuya #bsd dazai #bsd nakahara chuuya #bsd dazai osamu #skk #soukoku #nawy's art #me drawing chuuya's legs: harukawa this is 4 u #featuring my (correct) opinions on what chuuya's living space would have in it #which are mostly music-related and some trinkets/pictures to remember people by #that guy is 22 and didn't have his own space + the will to make it his own until he was like 16-17 i will not accept 'fancy' designer looks #it's 2 sound systems some collector edition guitar mounted on the wall a vinyls collection and general punk/rock vibes all around #no he can't actually play any of the instruments in his home

[mintaikcorpse]

You can tell Angel has daddy issues because he is currently crushing on a depressed drunk 70 year old man

#usually im not a fan of age difference ships but Angel is 31 so he's not dumb and him and Husk are around the same age #like say Husk died in 1975 that means that in their life Husk is only 7 years older than him #hot take but idk if i ship cherrisnake bcuz Cherri is like 22 while Pent is around 40 #idk just feels weird #maybe he's younger in the official series but until anything is said im going with what Fautisse said #hazbin hotel #huskerdust #angel dust #hazbin hotel angel dust #angel dust hazbin hotel #husk #husk hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel husk #casinohearts

[soup-scope]

we finally got canon ages for some of the redacted boys!!!

Samuel Collins- 29 *when turned* (technically 44 ig)

Vincent Solaire - 20 *when turned* (technically 43 ig)

Avior- Coalesced 36 years ago

Gavin- Coalesced 33 years ago

Aaron- 33 years old

David Shaw- 30 years old

Asher Talbot- 30 years old

Milo Greer- 30 years old

Lasko Moore- 29 years old

Elliot- 29 years old(???) (timeline just states he was adopted 29 years ago)

Huxley- 26

Caelum- Coalesced 24 years ago (caelum is still very much mentally a child tho. don’t be weird)

Damien- 24 years old

#ALSO A CANON LAST NAME FOR ASHER???? #erik is releasing the full timeline to non patreon havers later but i think the ages are pretty broad enough to share ethically 😭😭 #i’ll take this down tho to my notes tho if needed #asher is still def taking baabes last name tho #i read through the entire timeline i’m screaming #god the way that i realized that avior literally can’t be added to the timeline UNTIL THEY BOTH GET OUT #because time is frozen for them. so starlight probably was pulled into the hell with avior sometime during 2023 #or around then. so it’s an event for the FUTURE #anyways i’m glad erik actyally made a good portion of them ‘grown men age’ instead of them all being like 23 or smth lmao #damien being one of the youngest of the DAMN squad has me CACKLING #lasko moore. an advisor aged 27 was terrified of 22 year old Damien im crying #i ain’t gonna say anything else about the timeline until erik fully releases it but i’m frothing #redacted asmr #redacted audio #asmr boyfriend #boyfriend asmr #redactedverse #redacted gavin #redacted david #asher #redacted asher #redacted aaron #redacted elliot #redacted milo #redacted avior #redacted caelum #redacted huxley #redacted damien #redacted vincent #redacted sam

[canisalbus]

IDK if I'm phrasing this correctly, but in my brain, Vasco is, like, the personification (caninification?) of an afternoon chilling on a back porch swing.

.

#ah #that's adorable #I can totally imagine him doing that #answered #anonymous #Vasco #to me he usually conjures the feeling of being warmed by sunlight #winters in northern Finland where I'm from tend to be pretty rough at least for me they are #they last about six months or so #sun starts to set earlier and earlier until it gets dark before 2 pm #in december the sun barely rises at all it's like this brief moment of twilight at noon between two 22+ hour nights #it gets harder to wake up in the morning and your energy levels plummet you go into battery saving mode #polar night messes up your brain seasonal depression gets really bad #and the cold and dark goes on and on and you feel like you'll never feel warm or happy or properly awake again #but eventually it starts to veer towards spring and on one day you notice that the sun is shining??!?! #not like bleakly and weakly but proper sunlight with warm hue and capability to actually warm the things it touches #you've forgotten what it looks like when it's truly light outside #and it's the craziest feeling to see bright natural light it blinds you and pierces right through into your very core #being kissed by the sun for the first time in months feels unreal it feels SO GOOD #I don't know it's probably not that big of a deal for people around me #but I personally react to things like changes in temperature and the amount of daylight pretty massively #I like to think that Vasco is a first ray of sunlight hitting you after you've spent what feels like an eternity in someplace cold and dark

[get-back-homeward]

Life With The Lennons, Exclusive by Ray Coleman, April 1965 [x]

#john lennon #cynthia lennon #the beatles #ray coleman #kenwood #1965 #wish we had a specific date for this one #given this is around the same time as help! writing and LSD coffee spiking #im not sure ive read another pre-1968 interview that sounds more like bitter 70s john #but some interesting things here #his comments on growing old consider he later called this era his fat elvis period #his game with the press compared to paul #sounding more enthused about films than recording #the guy who told john ab contacts #early glasses johnny #an appearance of nigel the dog #how he uses soft to describe him but then uses it to barrage the idk radio hosts? #i'll follow the sun coming on the radio and the absurdity of saying paul was 10 when he wrote it #(he was 16 at the earliest possibly 17 or 18 and he didnt finish it until he was 22) #they're so weird with referring to their ages in the 60s like j&p just keep saying they met when they were 12 #(they were never 12 at the same time so its either shorthand or some absurd joke) #april 1965 #john speaks #text scans #ad lib club

[firstroseofspring]

b’elanna vs her mother at similar ages, plus some sketches!

#my art #star trek voyager #my very first deanna…. my original obsession. if i ever read as much about betazoids as i do klingons we’re all in grave danger #also wrt the first image b'elanna is. 12 years old and as such is about to go emo mode but not quite yet. the girly girl thing is a front #sometime in winter she'll chop her hair off without permission #what do we think? human girl look to fit into the image her father has while he's still around or after to try and get him back? #miral is also a little bookish like b'elanna but on different subjects.... likes to keep to herself naturally but is also loudmouthed and #got told she shared her opinion too often a lot in university. didn't stop her though she speaks up when she thinks (knows) she's right #what did she study? don't ask me my answer changes with the weather #botany....linguistics.....military strategy.....chemistry....... uhmmmm religious studies. or even better the klingon system doesn't have #starfleet equivalents and she spent ages 15-22 doing apprenticeships for a certain (or multiple) disciplines #anyway. #kessik 2352 b'elanna has trouble sitting still for photos until she gets a little older so all the pics from before 7 are of her father #physically holding her so that she won't wander OR off guard shots or super blurry. theres more videos of that time than anything

[moongothic]

Just a quick thought but.

Considdering the WG created the Shichibukai System with the idea of having them be "pirates who crush other pirates"...

Okay so we unfortunately don't know when Moria joined the Shichibukai, if that was pre-Kaidou Clash or post-Kaidou Clash, info which would be very useful here but 🤷‍♂️. However we do know that Crocodile joined the Shichibukai before his clash with Whitebeard-- which is interesting, because Crocodile proceeded to get his ass kicked, but still retained his position. Keep in mind, the only reason the Government didn't get rid of Moria the second he lost to Luffy (a menace but still a rookie) was because they knew they needed every man they had available for the incoming war with Whitebeard. Had it not been for that they would've replaced Moria immidiately, and hey, they then did proceed to do that right after the war was over. So the fact they not only kept Crocodile despite getting his ass kicked, but kept him around for like 20~ish years is a bit wild

And that just makes me wonder... Is it possible the World Government could've ordered some of their newly recruited Shichibukai back in the day to go and try to take down the Yonkou on the WG's behalf?

Again, if we knew more about Moria here this would actually be easier to speculate about but since we don't know about his timeline, there's no way to fully tell for sure (btw yes his Wiki page claims he became a Shichibukai after fighting Kaidou, but since that was "revealed" in a trivia book, I would take it with a massive grain of salt)

But if the Yonkou Dethroning Attempts were orders from the WG, it'd actually explain the general attitude amongst the Shichibukai to not actually follow orders from the Government, since there'd be two whole survivors to tell the tale why you don't follow the Government's orders. (Which would also reframe why the Government Really Wanted Kuma to follow every single order given to him) It'd also reframe Crocodile's anger at the Government a little (since I'm sure the WG didn't give a shit about what had actually happened to him), as well as Moria's fury when Kuma showed up at Thriller Bark and Moria learned that the WG was assuming he was going to lose to the Strawhats, requiring back-up

It would also explain why Crocodile got to keep his position despite his defeat, because while Crocodile might've failed, they could still see him as useful as he had survived a clash against The Most Powerful Man In The World (same for Moria if he did go fight Kaidou under the Government's orders)

And man... Like the Shichibukai were framed as "Government bootlicking losers who had abandoned their pirating spirit" when they were first introduced, but as time has gone we have seen that some people took the position for protection. Hancock for to protect her people, Jinbei for the Sun Pirates to get pardoned... And with Kuma, it's just blackmail. It really would be sad if Crocodile (and maybe Moria too) got essentially groomed into the position as young pirates, given all these promises of things they'd be allowed to do/given if they follow orders, only to realize the Government sees them as nothing more than tools

#Moon posting #OP Meta #Sir Crocodile #Gecko Moria #Also. Man. I really do wanna know who the first seven Warlords actually were if the WG only came up with them after Roger's death #'Cause Crocodile could very well be one of the ''first generation'' #Since we know he essentially held the record for keeping his position for the longest (22+ years) #(Aside from maybe Moria and Mihawk since. We don't know when they joined either) #(Like sure they were of the same Pirating Generation since they were also at Roger's execution etc) #(But we know Doflamingo didn't join the Shichibukai until like 10 years ago DESPITE being of that same generation too) #(So like. Moria and Mihawk could also be one of the OG 7. Or they might've been replacements too. Who knows) #(But hey if we do ever get a Crocodile flashback I am fucking sure we're gonna get to see the first gen of Shichibukai) #(If the WG *only* came up with them during the dawn of the Great Pirate Era) (If the Shichibukai had been around longer then nah)

[violenceslut]

Fr i think not having a childhood really fucked me up

#people dont get when i try explain to them that I've never seen xyz media or band or show or movie or whatever #that i literally didn't exist as a person until like age 22 or 23 #ive been playing catch up trying to cram a life of existence into 2 or 3 years #also why i hate so much of “tgirl culture is defined by media consumption” or whatever #like maybe I'm uncultured but also maybe dont go around saying im less of a trans woman bc i havent seen a fucking tv show

[dentixvoxel]

Reina goes for the KILL

#ivan.docx #wangan midnight #湾岸ミッドナイト #wangan tag #fun fact: i started this drawing on 22 december 2022 #and then didnt touch it until yesterday #basically had the lineart sitting around for over a year #why'd i suddenly finish it? snowstorm in tokyo #my art

[destroyedparadise234]

obsessed with how Star Wars de-canonized Obi-Wan secretly giving Anakin the cheat sheet to speedrun becoming a Force ghost, and instead has made them into a dyad so that even IN DEATH they are cosmically incapable of leaving each other obikins just keep winning

(referencing this article suggesting they’re a dyad)

#obikin #makes me wonder how THAT first interaction went if it wasnt obi wan who actually taught anakin how to force ghost #but instead as obi wan and yoda watched the death star blow up in the distance they just #hear nervous shuffling from behind them and a ‘u-uh… master?’ #and obi wan’s jaw drops bc its a fuckin blue anakin skywalker looking not a day over 22 #and yoda IMMEDIATELY dissolves into thin air for the moment #bc no way in all the sith hells is he going to stick around for this conversation #at least not until those two finally have the heart to heart convo they desperately needed #and yoda expects maybe some shouting #maybe a lot of shouting #maybe a shove or a slap if theyre feeling spicy #he pops back in after like 30 minutes to make sure these two idiots havent found a way to somehow make force ghosts bite the dust #and finds that these two were alot more spicy than he anticipated #bc honestly he didnt realize force ghost clothing could be removed #i cant believe the dyad theory is in mainstream now #they really said even in death where there is a kenobi you’ll find a skywalker not too far behind

[maypl-syrup]

Redpaper, hive/mud. I'm gonna start putting my oc lore under a cut cause its getting to the point where I'm starting to write actual paragraphs.

I'd like to think that hybrids were more common than we were lead to believe and Wasp hid their existence as information control. Redpaper's father, Jaguar, came to Pantala because of the disappearance of his great aunt Otter (Redpaper is actually Mangrove's cousin twice removed). He never did find Otter but he did fall in love with a Hivewing, Redpaper was their child. Wasp wasn't blind to this and quickly found out after he was born. Jaguar and Redpaper fled and have lived in the small remaining swamp around beetle lake, waiting until Wasp lost power to find Redpaper's mother. Redpaper himself is a bit closed off and stoic, preferring comfortable silence to talking, but he's an exceptional hunter and gatherer and is very close with his father. After book 15, he quickly becomes close with his mother too and they make up for lost time.

#redpaper #my art #art #dragon #wof #wings of fire #oc #hivewing #mudwing #redpaper oc #my oc #wof oc #wof art #wof hybrid #i didnt have any ideas for redpaper for ages until this all suddenly came to me as i was writing the caption #for age refrence too #otter was around 38 when she got to pantala and died of illness at 58 #jaguar was around 20 when he left and he had redpaper when he was 22 #hes 46 now and redpaper is 24 #i spent way too long trying to figure this out and i had to add a generation in between otter and jaguar

[dandyshucks]

me when i have a drawing idea i want to work on today but I know I have cleaning that needs to get done so ... I somehow end up working on neither of those and instead spend an entire hour very carefully handwashing a childhood teddy bear

I WANT TO DRAW FHDKSL WHAT AM I DOING !!!!

#the procrastination is on another level today 😭😭 #the bear has to be very carefully handwashed bc im worried theyre going to fall apart one of these days fjdkdl #i need to glue their nose back down bc its peeling off again SOBS im so scared for the day a limb finally starts coming off 😭😭 #a 22 year old teddy bear... they worry me so much fjdkdl i want them to survive until i kick the bucket !!! #theyre also handmade 🥺 my great aunt got them for me at a craft fair right around the time i was born fjfkdl #anyways BDDJKSL not on topic for this blog but MAN. i need to go ... work on cleaning or art. sigh. #dandy.cmd #vent //

[tesco-finest-aromantics]

you ever wake up from sleep thinking “what the fuck does my brain even know how to sleep properly”

#caique posts #went to sleep at 22:00‚ not too different to when we normally go to sleep #wake up at 1:30‚ proceed to oscillate between 30 minute periods of wakefulness and sleep with the two states blurring a lot #until 5:30‚ when our brain decides we’ve had enough sleep despite still being exhausted #so we lay awake‚ exhausted‚ until we fall back asleep around 7:30 and sleep until 10:00 #and then somehow wake feeling rested. which doesn’t say a lot as we only feel the slightest bit less tired than when we went to sleep #it just happens so rarely it’s quite notable #like what is our brain thinking??? #is it just tossing a coin every half an hour to decide whether we should be asleep or awake? #what’s this mythical unbroken sleep most people seem to have? where they wake up feeling better in the morning????

[solarisgod]

i'm curious to know how long do you guys have your original series? i love the passion and dedication you all put into this story. can't wait for more of it!

Hiya, Anonstar, thank ya so much for your compliment! Means a whole world to us!!! Ahhh, so we have Antineon Hieraeon since January 22, 2022! Although we didn't really have a strong clear idea of where we wanted the series and universe to be like until October 20, we revamped the series and created the first four characters of Antineon Hieraeon: Micah Xenowake, Adoniram Bloodburn, Sweetsilence, and Steelstorm. Warlock Moonglade, Bluebreak, Angelparadox, and Devileye a week later. Antigods and the Metaeide and Saints were the first three lore pieces we thought of.

I think about this text, like, a lot. I can't believe it's been almost a year now since we wrote this and soon, we'll be reaching to the second anniversary of this series. We did try to bring our series ( the " beta version " as we were still fixing and finalizing our lores and characters ) with the Starwake System in late October to early November before we went on hiatus and returned to the rpc in early April 2023 with a more fleshed out storyline and universe. It's been an amazing journey and we're most grateful for those who're still here with us and the Starwake System and ANHA. ♡

#ANONYMOUS #/// #// #/ #𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ SAVED . › #𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ ANSWERS . › #𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ OOC . › #[ maaannnnnnn this is legit insane reflecting on this ] #[ like this year we have definitely done A LOT with this series and universe of course ] #[ this is our third experience of attempting to create a whole original universe and project ] #[ the first being in summer 2019 based on astronomy and astrology and just the whole outer space itself called Our Today Tomorrow Forever ] #[ then the second in around winter 2021 called Let There Be Darkness ] #[ about this pair of PI Angel and Demon investigating the missing sun and they had seven days ] #[ to figure out who / what took the sun before Earth dies and each day humanity gets worst ] #[ to be honest ANHA's very first version was in July 2021 but the premise and setting were limiting ] #[ in terms of plot and storytelling potentials so it really took a lot of time until January 22 2022 it changed so much yet ] #[ still hold similar themes and tropes but ' the 2021 version ' doesn't count ] #[ anyways we're just extremely beyond happy and proud with how far we've come with ANHA ] #[ and we're just as much excited to do more with it over the time! it's gonna be so much more amazing!!! ] #[ thank you so so so much for being here still and enjoying it so much!!! <3 <3 <3 ]

[thefiresofpompeii]

i don’t want to kill myself but looking at the future sometimes i feel like i have no other option. i fucked it up too far without anticipating consequences and it’s too late to make a change or strive towards any kind of hopeful meaningful existence. there is no way out for someone like me who has nothing going for them, squandered any opportunity, any talent, everything that was handed to them on a silver platter. no interesting personality traits, no aptitudes, nothing to make up for the gaping void where motivation and will to live and thrive and put in effort towards a goal should be. even the most basic steps are a pipe dream. i don’t want to die because i fear the possibility of hell but i no longer see any tolerable way of living.

#i reread parts of mark fisher’s capitalist realism last night and i know it’s unhealthy for theory to cement your own depressive spiral but #i’m thinking of him. even an accomplished thinker and it’s all the fucking same #i’m goinh to listen to swans and cry. i skipped class again and for fucking what #notice how it’s all i i i i i. i have no community no support network no close friends no partner nothing #only my parents who are affluent enough to support me financially but that support is conditional because if #they knew about what i was really like and even parts of my identity that support would be cut off and because i #have no marketable skills i would be left penniless to beg on the street #how long can i keep pretending to be cis and depending on them for vital necessities? until i’m 22? 25? #dropping out isn’t even an option because a bachelors’ degree is prerequisite to getting ANY job that pays above minimum wage but i #feel no passion for the subject i’m studying despite it being literally one of the only things i used to be GREAT at (media analysis; so — #lit major; on foundations for liberal arts; which should be all about PASSION FOR THE SUBJECT) #i’m teetering on the precipice of a steep cliff that drops down into the abyss of abject poverty with no way out #i don’t know what i enjoy doing; what to dedicate my resources and energy to; if i have none left. i don’t even smoke or drink or do drugs #it’s just sober suffering in silence. of course the meds don’t fucking help; meds can’t alter the world around us or our circumstances #this fucking close to going out and buying a rope. i have free will :)) hell can’t be real; it can’t be. worst that could #happen is reincarnation and honestly i could go for a second chance #jamie.txt #tw suicidal ideation