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nighwingsdiscordkitten · 1 month

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So this is what I have so far on the Dean Winchester character analysis it's a bit all over because I wrote it while on the bud home but I'm writing it in a notebook of mine in a more clear and organized way then gonna re type it once I get it done

Also if you guys don't mind pls add your own character analysis of your own or just things you've noticed during the series because I really don't wanna mischaracterize him and accidentally make him into a complete different person especially since Dean's whole character is literally so important to me

Also I don't want anyone to think I'm gonna excuse the bad things Dean has done to Sam, Cas, and also Jack. I wanna include the fact that he isn't that great of a person and i still wanna hold him accountable for all the bad things he has done throughout the series

How Dean Winchester is. Given the parental role and also the more “women” or ‘feminin’ role in the series and also by the fandom.

Firstly we will talk about the fact that from a very young age (four years old) when his mother died in the fire he was the one to grab Sam from his crib and ran out of the house while his father stayed back. We see this in the very first episode and was also mentioned in one of the later seasons, growing up he was given the parental role because John (the father) was to busy with ‘grieving” his dead wife to the point that he threw himself and his family into the hunter life leave Dean and Sam to grow up on the road with no real home, they stayed in dirty old motels and barely had money to live off of, you can see this by the fact that they never had Christmas and I know that’s not a very ‘big deal’ BUT the fact that Dean had to sneak off and steal from a random home to give Sam some type of Christmas and also the fact that Dean was arrested for stealing some peanut butter bread and then was sent to Sunny’s home or wayward boys. There was also hints that Dean barley ever got to eat and often have his food to Sam so he wouldn’t go hungry at night, I don’t know if it was ever actually mentioned but it was hinted in episodes where Dean would have flashbacks or it was hinted, you can also notice this with how Dean eats his food, it’s more animalistic and rushed while Sam eats more calmer and also less, that is because Sam never had to really worry because Dean always fed him but Dean never knew when his next meal was so I believe it is a trauma response. Another trauma response is also is his savior complex, in the show we often see Dean more concern for Sam then himself and and could also be a readily for his own self destructive tendencies but we’ll talk about that later- since Dean has taken care of Sam his whole life Dean took on the parental role naturally and also started to relaty on Sam to be there constantly because Sam is his only constant figure in his life much how Dean is Sam’s only constant figure as well. Why is Sam and Dean each others only constant figure even tho they both have John tho? Well that is because John wasn’t the parental figure they needed. They only could rely on each other and no one else, sure they had Bobby but they don’t show him much in their flashback so I don’t know how much of a role he had in their childhood because he only really shows up more in their adult life, I do belive Bobby was there in their childhood because we see Bobby and Dean playing catch in season 7 when Bobby dies but that’s pretty much the only scene we get with Bobby and younger Dean every other scene is when Dean is a adult, so that makes me belive even more that Sam was deans only constant and the same with Dean for Sam. Now, about the savior complex, there are multiple examples of Dean wanting to risk his life for same and wanting to ‘save’ Sam for example

•Dean welling his soul in season 1 to same Sam

• Dean wanting to save Sam from ruby and his demon blood addiction

•Dean wanting to say yes to Michel

•Dean trying to get rid of the mark of Cain

•Giving himself up to Amra

•Even giving his own childhood up for Sam

Etc (look up more of deans self scarification)

We also see Deans self destructive tendencies by the fact he pushes people away, him being a alcoholic, him hiding his own traumas and emotions resulting him to have break downs or out bursts of rage because that was what he grew up on. He never learned how to let his anger out in normal healthy ways I believe that was because of John and how he was raised because we constantly see John being abusive and taking his anger out of Dean.

Again this is super all over the place but that’s because it’s still the rough draft I’m planing on rewriting all of this to make more sense and also I still wanna add more things to this as will because There’s so much more I wanna talk about but just can’t put it in words exactly

#dean winchester #dean winchester character study #spn #spn fandom #jensen ackles #jared padalecki #sam winchester #supernatural #spn cast #spn castiel #castiel #Sam and Dean #spn sam winchester #spn dean winchester #supernatural sam winchester #supernatural dean winchester #supernatural characters

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scoobydoodean · 7 months

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I see this held up as major proof of Dean's badness, but couldn't it also be proof of Cas having faith Dean can get past anything without Cas having to change his behavior? The way it's structured the onus is on DEAN to work through it, not others to change or make amends. ---- CASTIEL: You know, Dean, he – he feels things more acutely than any human I've ever known. So it's possible he could work through this. One day, he may explode and let it all out and breathe deeply and move on.

I see what you mean in a general sense, and it's extremely possible that Cas is thinking about his own past fights with Dean and Dean forgiving him, and from the perspective of the critique you have in mind that you're refuting, I agree. But of course deancrit casgirls will forever insist that Cas has never in his life done anything harmful to Dean either accidentally or on purpose, so any time Dean might dare try to hold him accountable for anything, he's actually just making shit up and being toxic and controlling, so here Cas is just apologizing for his own abusive relationship. You can only get their take by being deliberately obtuse/disingenuous.

That said, the context of that line (from 15.13 "Destinty's Child") is Cas answering soulless Jack's question about whether Dean will eventually forgive him for murdering Mary.

CASTIEL: Hey, Jack. JACK: Cas, you know what's good about being dead? CASTIEL: Uh, as I recall, very little. JACK: Well, when you come back, you – you really get into all that life is. Hot, cold, sweet, spicy, funny, scary. CASTIEL: And are you? "Into it"? JACK: I want to be. But I don't... feel things the way I used to. Before I lost my... CASTIEL: Your soul. JACK: I used to feel things. In my bones. It was glorious, and sometimes unbearable. But I felt them. Now, I understand joy or sadness, but... I know those things aren't in me. I understand why Sam and Dean were angered by what happened to Mary... CASTIEL: By what you did to Mary. JACK: Yes. I see that I've caused them pain. And it's clear that things have changed. Especially with – with Dean. Will he ever forgive me? CASTIEL: You know, Dean, he – he feels things more acutely than any human I've ever known. So it's possible he could work through this. One day, he may explode and let it all out and breathe deeply and move on. JACK: How long will that take? CASTIEL: I don't know.

And yeah—I have seen people refer to Cas's little speech here as "condoning child abuse" and other bullshit. Because how DARE Dean not forgive soulless Jack for murdering his mother (something soulless Jack is unable to actually really acknowledge he did). I mean clearly any time someone murders your mom because she made them mad and threatened their sense of security by asking if they're okay and saying their concerning actions can’t stay a secret… That’s just natural understandable stuff! You need to forgive the person who murdered her instantly and if you don’t idk you’re kinda overreacting don’t you think? :/ I mean your mom probably deserved it kind of anyway for reading the room so wrong and talking about getting a person help. And I mean if you don't forgive the person who killed your mom or do anything trying to stop them from hurting more people you're really a child abuser... toward an adult... who murdered your mother in cold blood and is unable to even understand why it was wrong in any sense other than an intellectual one like he read it from a book... preferring to refer to it as "What happened to Mary" instead of acknowledge it as something he himself did because he was mad and felt threatened—which is what he circled back to in "Jack In The Box" too. It's only when Jack gets his soul back that he's able to actually feel true empathy, acknowledge his real actions and the gravity of them, and give an actual sincere apology. Because his soul is actually important—something this fandom refuses, by and large, to notice.

Anyway, this fandom's take on Mary's murder and soulless Jack vs. regular Jack is overwhelmingly a bag of wet third grader vomit and feces so what can one expect?

#mail #soulless jack killing mary is popularly regarded as an accident... but it's pretty transparent that it wasn't?#or rather it was on purpose but he regretted it the second after it happened. but that is still. Something he chose to do. Not an accident.#He saw her as a threat to his relationship with Sam and Dean and he acted.#This is indicated right before he kills her. He admits it outright also right before calling it an accident which unravels that whole idea.#It wasn’t pre-meditated but in that moment he wanted her to die. She was going to tell everyone there was something wrong with him.#And he did not want that.#It wasn't an accident and he can't handle his own culpability because it threatens his belief that he can make things be the way they were #before it happened. Which is why he killed her to begin with! He didn't want anyone to know/think anything was wrong with him!#And just like soulless Jack just wants everyone to forget about it and act like nothing happened and he's fine...#Many fans want Dean to forget about it. They want Dean to believe and say and feel and think that Mary did not matter.#And that being upset at her literal murder (even if it was an accident—which it was not) is bad and evil.#And Sam's great capacity for numbness (which we already saw in season 13) strengthen's their own lack of empathy for Dean #in a situation that in real life they would understand unless they're actual psychopaths.#It's only because Dean is a character in a narrative representing the need/capacity to be loved and accepted at all #that these demands that his thoughts and feelings bend to everyone else's emotional needs become so disturbingly intrusive #dont feed the stans after midnight #and cas is my best friend #hot girl cas

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eisforeidolon · 11 months

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So on the subject of John supposedly being an alcoholic [X], let's talk about what evidence there actually is in the canon that references his drinking.

In the pilot, Sam makes two quick references to John drinking - "he's probably working overtime on a Miller shift" and he's hunting deer at a cabin with "Jim [Beam], Jack [Daniels], and Jose [Cuervo]". Except taking that as evidentiary is ignoring the very obvious and important context that he says those things in front of and directly to Jessica, respectively. It's a very neatly normal explanation to give her for why Dean might not want to talk in front of her (about embarrassing family problems) and why Sam would be worried enough to take off in the middle of the night. John's not a monster hunter, he's an alcoholic on a bender with guns! When Jessica isn't in the room, the conversation becomes all about hunting, with no mention of alcohol - even when Sam is bringing up John's previous disappearances and questionable parenting choices? It's no longer part of the conversation.

The next obvious reference is Nightmare, where the quote is, "We're lucky we had Dad. [...] Well, it coulda gone a whole other way after Mom. I little more tequila and a little less demon hunting and we woulda had Max's childhood. All things considered, we turned out ok. Thanks to him." I think we can take this one at face value since there's no outside audience, but what does it really say? Definitively that John was less of an abusive drunk than Max's father, though that doesn't say hardly anything at all considering what it would take to be worse. Presumably that Sam & Dean were aware of John drinking at least sometimes to some extent, though "a little more/a little less" is pretty euphemistic in this context. Anything beyond that is putting a lot of mileage onto a pretty vague statement.

Another comment that isn't for an outside audience you could take to be about drinking is in Dark Side of the Moon, where Sam is talking about his "first real Thanksgiving" and when Dean says they had Thanksgiving every year, Sam dismissively says "We had a bucket of extra-crispy and Dad passed out on the couch." Sam is pointedly making a comparison between a big family togetherness meal at a table and the Winchesters getting a takeout bucket of chicken in whatever dodgy motel room with no especial fanfare. While I think it's not an unreasonable assumption to make that John was passed out after drinking, it is an assumption - alcohol isn't mentioned. Sam could be referring to him taking a nap on his day off from hunting rather than bothering to do anything special - Sam would clearly be disappointed in the lack of Normal Family Traditions either way (if he was yearning enough to enjoy someone else's big family Thanksgiving as a particularly happy memory). Even if John was drunk, we're talking about behavior on a holiday specifically about family togetherness in a broken family. Bad judgement? Yes. Alcoholic? Trickier question.

The last one I can think of/track down is in The Girl Next Door. It does explicitly talk about John drinking. When flashback!Amy is concerned about her mom's possible reaction to a minor spill, "Yeah, well, she has a temper. Sometimes. It's... no big deal." Flashback!Sam replies with, "My dad does, too. You don't want to see him when he's drinking." While I think Sam is clearly smitten with her and wants to relate to her? He doesn't have the same kind of need to lie and prevaricate in this situation as he did with Jessica. So I think we can safely say Sam has seen John drinking and that he sometimes has a temper when he does. How often that happens, though, and how much drinking is involved? Well, again, those are not details we can get from the text without adding a fair bit of interpretation in one direction or the other.

Are there any big obvious ones I'm missing? Or even smaller ones? It's been a while since my last rewatch and I just don't know the final few seasons very well.

Look, I'm not nominating John Winchester for Father of The Year. He's a complex and conflicted character with some clear faults who makes mistakes (just like his sons). It's one thing to recognize that - or to just dislike him! It's another thing to treat headcanons based on a few vague implications as canonical fact.

#spn discussion #john winchester #words mean things

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quietwingsinthesky · 6 months

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Let Jack do some biting and exploding as a little treat. He needs it for enrichment in his environment! Alternatively this is his “hormone driven teen age rebellion/angst” phase. Or he’s threatening to run away and live with Sam.

Assuming you’re referencing my anti-domestic destiel au: yeah 🥰 jack is in just the worst situation here, and he put himself there, sure, he agreed to it, thought it would be okay. but crucially, to me, he also thought it was temporary. and that the love he would experience as Dean & Cas’s actual baby wouldn’t differ that much from what he gets as himself. And when it actually is different, when they treat him different, (maybe there’s more kindness in Dean when he’s holding someone that looks more like a child, maybe Castiel’s more attentive and knows how to handle him better because after all, he planned, he took classes, for a baby) that’s rough! horrible and frustrating!

and since they’re all pretending this is fine and makes them happy, he spends more time than he should playing along and feeling worse and worse about himself. I think things should start breaking around him. His toys all crack and twist into terrible shapes. Blood stains show up on his baby blankets. He cries and glass shatters. (He’s trying so hard to keep it in, but it’s not working, he’s upset and he doesn’t even have an outlet to talk about it or anything because Dean and Cas are fully treating him like the toddler he’s taken the shape of.)

I really think Sam would be his saving grace here because Sam is a reprieve from having to keep up that appearance and act. Sam treats Jack as his son, yes, but also as an adult, because that is what Jack is, fast growth cycle and odd birthday count or not. He doesn’t want to be a child. The window for that has passed. He’s grown up.

(I swear that Jack’s part in this isn’t just me being frustrated with his literal infantilization in popular fanon as a character who’s very obviously (to me, anyway) coded as autistic. I swear. It’s not all that. Just. Most of it.)

Jack running away with Sam would be such a way to kick off the falling apart of this “perfect” life that Dean and Castiel have constructed. Their son up and fucking leaves, goes to live with Sam because he can’t stand how neither of them look at him and actually see who he is rather than who they’d prefer him to be. Maybe jumpstarts a few realizations about the fact that they aren’t seeing each other truthfully either, that they’re both miserable and need to split up before they lose their friendship that’s so important to them as well.

(and of course, for extra drama, Jack should burn their house down. What better way to signify that the Normal Apple Pie Life is coming to an end then a housefire. Dean walks in to check on Jack during the night and instead of a baby, there’s Jack standing there next to his small bed, eyes burning gold and neither of them can say anything before the whole room explodes into flame. (Which Jack is very upset about. He didn’t mean that to happen. (He’s glad that it did.) He just lost control.)

but also just in general even outside of this au, jack should be allowed to bite people <3 it’s good for him <3 he gets his bloodthirsty urges to tear out people’s throats from his dad! (sam)

#anti domestic destiel au #<- if you cant tell from how i talk about jack and the whole. name. here. this is really me deconstructing that whole idea that’s been #created in popular fanon. because it frustrates me. the weird pushing of sam to the sidelines for pure focus on romance and the near #ubiquitous infantilization of jack and the way it tends to flatten dean and castiel both to fit the romantic roles.#you know. it frustrates me. what if this was horrible instead. what if this was a glue trap and dean and cas and jack are all suffocating.#jack kline #dean winchester #castiel spn #sam winchester #spn #like i dont want to tag this destiel because it is Not. the whole point of it is that its Not.#but at the same time their relationship is the focal point so????#ask

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sio-lokistiel · 6 months

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Hi!! So I'm a fairly strong chuck won believer (i have been given some Extremely convincing evidence and I think its interesting to think about so) but I saw a post you made about how that theory disregards cas and jacks arcs and I was just wondering if you could expand on that? I'm super open to interpretations lol and I'm really curious to hear the other side (i haven't seen too much anti chuck won stuff so I dont know the arguments)

Okay, oh boy. I guess part of it is what exactly you mean by “Chuck Won” because I understand it on a censorship level. Yes, Chuck was representing the network. Yes, the network meddled and cut Dean’s reciprocation and we ended up with that garbage finale with pages of [OMITTED] in the script. So, if that’s all you mean by “Chuck Won” then yeah, whatever I guess.

Idk, some people probably feel it’s a legitimate theory simply because Dean died. It seems a lot of the fandom thinks death = bad…and that’s just not the case now that Jack freed the souls. I mean, I can throw quotes from The Mummy and Lord of the Rings at you about how death is the next step in journey. So while I’m no longer upset about Dean dying in general, especially because it was foreshadowed, the way he died was so fucking dumb. That doesn’t mean I think it has anything to do with Chuck.

Cas’ arc was all about self-actualization. His speech in Gimme Shelter explains a good part of it with how he found purpose having a family and becoming a dad, BUT him also realizing that having himself is important, too. Then, oh goodness, we reach the culmination in Despair (The Truth) when he realizes happiness is in the saying, in accepting your truth, both the good and bad bits of yourself. The Empty comes and he reintegrates with his Shadow to become whole and saves Dean, the world, and himself in the process. Yes, that’s a whole bunch of Jungian psychology stuff and it’s a lot to process and I’m probably not doing the best job of explaining it. Most of the Chuck Won theory stuff I’ve seen ignores all that and seems to ignore the canon that Cas IS in heaven. I understand the disappointment of Cas and Dean not reuniting, YET. Corporate fuckery (and Covid) kept it from happening in the finale with the original Roadhouse ending that was planned and then scheduling conflicts and Jensen and Misha agreeing Cas needed more than a cameo kept him from being in The Winchesters.

And Jack. Jack was literally the whole goddamn point. The two big things are he’s possessed and sometimes dead because of this, or he is corrupted somehow. I have never seen a convincing damn argument for either of these things. There’s one post that tries to compare some his mannerisms to Chuck, but is filled with so much straw grasping and reaching I’m surprised the author didn’t need a doctor afterward. Another is that some people project on the poor boy so much and just they don’t like his arc, they want to think something is wrong. There is a lot more Pagan stuff about Jack and the number of mythologies where some god is brought down by being a power hungry dickhead and that comes back to bite them in the ass as a grandchild in Jack’s case removes them from power. There are better people to explain all the Pagan imagery surrounding Jack; my tag #jack is the orphic egg should get you to some really good stuff. I’m also not down to argue about how the last 3-5 seasons are meant to read with a Pagan lens. There was one group who predicted the end of the mothership months in advance and then all of The Winchesters and it wasn’t the people clinging to some white Christian reading.

Last thing, I just personally find the theory really lazy as well. I would legitimately be so disappointed in Jensen and whoever ends up writing the next chapter whether that’s Robbie or someone else if they went that route. Luckily, they are all smarter than that and I can see them seeming to lean into it, but then having the most fabulous rug pull! This is very long, oops.

#jack kline #castiel #spn #spnwin #fuck chuck won #anon ask #hermeticism #long post

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ananke-xiii · 3 months

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From Epic to Tragedy to ... Epic, I guess? Or why Supernatural Season 6 is the most important season of all (pt 1).

Do I have your attention? Yes, good. But just so you know it'll be long and in installments and maybe it makes sense or maybe not.

Yes, I know the title is a tiny bit incendiary but I promise I have a point to make.

So, my idea: I posit that SPN S1-5 are inherently an epic narrative with a tragic tone while S6, in an unexpected turn of events, heavily shifts the show towards a tragic narrative with an epic tone. S6 creates a great divide within the narrative itself that the show is ultimately unable to resolve. On one hand Sam will “carry on” the epic narrative, on the other Castiel will “swan dive” to his (many) tragic endings. S8-11 arc correctly identifies Dean as the character who's able to mitigate the divide and bring the two narratives together. However, the pervy obsession Chuck has with Deanthe show simply refuses to do so, consequently S12 introduces Jack (as an absent character but we already know from S11 The Mother as an Archetype is now alive and well in the unfridged Mary so the emergence of The Son is something clear from the very ending of the previous season) as the character most likely to resolve the narrative. However, S13-15 arc fails because it wants to do too many things at the same time. The "funny" thing is that, as a result, all characters just seem to be extremely tired of The Journey, The Quest, the obstacles, they all start screaming "Catharsis!" but it's still not given to them (hello Chuck!). By the time Cas makes the deal with The Empty the audience feels the impending tragedy and it's partially given to them, although... The show doesn't mend "The Rupture" between the two narratives, Cas dies as a tragic hero, Sam as an epic hero and Dean and Jack will remain in their limbo (a limbheaven, I guess? lol) but in substantially different positions. I personally think that this is what led to the audience’s conflicted response about the finale: ultimately the scale was tipped off in favor of the tragic narrative but the audience was eventually given the epic narrative ending.

Premise: this is my very first attempt at writing what in my mind, I hope, will turn out to be an analysis, a meta if you will, about Supernatural. I stand on the shoulders of giants and I myself am a microscopic ant but, you know, there’s room for everyone even for a little ant like me. I want to write down my thoughts and share them with strangers on the internet because 1) if I keep all my ideas trapped inside my head I’ll explode; 2) writing them down helps holding my spiraling mind down; 3) I thrive when people listen to my convoluted thoughts and share their opinions and we all have heated chats and sometimes I end up hating those people because they’re right but also I fall in love with their minds lol.

Finally, please just remember that I’m also just a girl, sitting in front of a laptop, asking you to not come at me.

Part 1: Or where I posit that SPN s1-5 are inherently an epic narrative with a tragic tone…

Tell me, O Muse, of the man of many devices…

After the Pilot, the first SPN episode starts with two guys playing a videogame. One tells the other that he’s cheating; the other replies that he’s just smart. Interesting. The third guy we see (Guys! Guys! Guys!) is sending a video to his girlfriend and oh, look! He’s reading “The Hero with a Thousand Face” written by Joseph Campbell.

In less than 10 seconds the show is literally telling us everything we need to know: we’re dealing with Young Males, An Adventure, Trials, Obstacles… and with the completion of the journey (just like the videogame: overcome all your obstacle until you win). Basically, the show is an epic narrative. More specifically, it’s an epic narrative like The Odyssey. Well, actually, no. It’s more like The Telemachy. The Telemachy is the first 4 books of the Odyssey where Telemachus leaves Ithaca for the first time to look for his Absent Father. Sounds familiar? By the way, to this day I can’t help but feel deep admiration when I realize that The Odyssey is the story of The Absent Father and it starts off… precisely with his absence! Just like Supernatural, LOL.

Necessary aside: as if this was not already enough S10E5 Fan Fiction gifts us with what I find is the most brilliant meta ever metaed on SPN (and no, I’m not talking about the fan fiction part). In this episode we find out that the MOTW is… *drums roll* CALLIOPE!!! The muse who presides over EPIC POETRY! And she wants to EAT The Author (and, in hindsight the fact that the Real Author is God… I mean, possibly Calliope was THEE monster that they really shouldn’t have killed lol). As if this was not enough… Maggie hits Calliope with… The Odyssey! Robbie Thompson was VIBING when he was writing this episode, I’m telling you!

Okay so now going back to my main point. Supernatural epic has a very distinct tragic tone. The Absent Father does return like Odysseus (end of S1) but he can’t stay (beginning of S2): in order for the Adventure to continue The Father must die (unlike the Odyssey where Father and Son unite to defeat the enemy and Return to The Ordinary World Together). After all, this is not The Odyssey, it’s The Telemachy where The Hero is not The Father but The Son.

So know let’s talk about The Son. The Epic Hero in Supernatural is Sam Winchester. He’s the one marked at birth by the story, aka The Special Kid with Psychic Powers of S2. This is the second half of the “Challenges and temptations” phase of the Hero’s Journey culminating with The Revelation and the subsequent Death&Rebirth. Sam will have to go through this cycle a lot because his own role commands it. He has to face the Abyss and then come out of it otherwise the story can’t progress. Occasionally, he’ll have to step outside the Special World into the Ordinary World (The Normal Life) even though he has not completed all the stages because the story needs to reboot and if The Hero goes back to the Ordinary World having completed all the stages then the story is over. This is why after 15 (FIFTEEN!) season it might feel (or, as I should say, I feel because people here largely disagree) that Sam’s arc is.. well, not exactly something that varies over time. It’s not the character’s fault: he’s just drawn that way (because the show refused to let go of this trite and old Hero’s Journey cycle but this is a topic for another time, hello Chuck, ya basic!). So Sam, The Son. S3 Sam faces the challenges of possibly losing his brother so The Quest is trying to save Dean. Of course, this won’t happen (as previously stated, Sam needs a continuous Quest because he’s an Epic Hero) so we’re back at square one in S4-5 with the demon blood, the 66 sigils and, ultimately, Lucifer and the apocalypse.

Sam is the Epic Hero, special by birth, called back to the Adventure by his brother, quick learner, intelligent and warrior-like, overcomer of obstacles, trials and (maybe to a lesser degree lol) temptations and capable of facing the Abyss. I like the fact that he's definitely not The Perfect Hero because his many flaws make him more compelling and fascinating. Speaking of flaws, there's one thing that Sam lacks. Sure, like all characters on every TV show he has a need, a desire AND a fatal flaw. However, there is a fatal flaw and THE fatal flaw: hamartia.

Hamartia is the tragic flaw, the character's very own trait that brings about his very own downfall. How do we know that Sam lacks this very specific trait? Because he never experiences utter and total ruin brought about by his and his own only hands.

However, there is a certain character, the one and only character that dares to "make it up as [he goes]", that committs a huge mistake, and he errs not because of some events, not because of some circumstances, possibly not even because of God's will: he just makes decisions that trigger cosmic consequences...

I wonder who could it be...

#spn #spn meta #supernatural meta #these are just my thoughts I still need to process them all don't come at me I'm just sharing #spn rewatch #spn analysis #the odyssey in supernatural #superntural #tragedy vs epic pt1 #the epic in supernatural #the tragedy in supernatural

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charcubed · 1 year

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Some thoughts on The Winchesters after episode 5, and on self-reflection, and what it may tell us about Dean’s situation:

This was originally written as a thread on Twitter, which is (unfortunately) where I have historically done most of my meta writing. (Here is a collection of my Twitter posts about this show, including a few long meta threads.) I’m trying to get better about crossposting to tumblr ASAP when it's manageable.

All this to say that if this reads like it’s written in bite-sized chunks… that’s why. Also, I am writing this at midnight from an iPad lol.

So… This “Dean all the way down” show, if you will. In every episode of this show, its main characters highlight important things about Dean’s life and his relationships with others, as well as the unfinished parts of his story. Here’s a handy refresher, courtesy of my friend Matt.

I am compelled by the consistency of this (to the point of hypothesizing that Lata will be the main Dean mirror of the week in ep6).

I am also compelled by what is shaping up to be one of many consistencies in not only the themes but also the PLOTS of these episodes:

In every episode so far other than the pilot (I think?), someone is taken and trapped physically and/or mentally. Their freedom requires examining who they are as a person and what’s important to them, and/or examining who they are in relation to who they care about, mostly via reflective versions.

2: John, taken by La Tunda who punishes disobedient children & masquerades as Millie

3: Mary, taken by Bori Baba who lures you in with what you want most

4: John & Carlos, taken by a god of “destiny” who wants John to be like him

5: Mary, trapped in her mind by the Akrida

They’re all different situations, but at their core the key to freedom in the plot is always some form of self-reflection.

It’s making me wonder, because… well, we’re explicitly dealing with a narrative that’s cyclical, yes? We know that already, and the show’s not shy about it…

Cycles of violence + parents & children, on a micro level (Winchester family) and macro level (forces wanting to mold you into something you don’t want to be, or control you; Chuck/God as Father, destiny, and now Akrida).

But is it also a cycle in regards to this self-reflection?

Metaphorically, yes. This is what Dean is doing here and it’s why the characters are continuously acting as rotating mirrors for him. But what I’m beginning to wonder is if we’re meant to start taking it as hints to being literal for Dean, the way it is for the characters.

The characters repeatedly participate in self-reflection to free themselves from literal traps, and that self-reflections acts as reflection of Dean. What does this maybe tell us about what’s LITERALLY happening to Dean? Can we start piecing together that he’s trapped somewhere and uncovering/telling this story is key to his freedom?

🎶 Like a circle in a spiral

Like a wheel within a wheel

Never ending or beginning

On an ever spinning reel 🎶

They keep being trapped in places where they have to face aspects of who they are, who they love, and what haunts them. Maybe that’s the literal situation Dean could be in (fake Heaven trap?) and is part of the reason for the story he’s telling. Examining himself to break free.

I don’t know how front-facing in terms of the plot this may be. It could remain metaphorical. or be an extra-narrative reference about the prequel being its own thing but also a quasi stepping stone to a sequel.

But Dean being Trapped is, at this point, feeling pretty implicit.

Combine this with how mirror and reflective imagery is starting to visually pop up a little bit more.

And also combine it with all of the ways Tony’s story parallels Jack’s, and what that could imply about a “Chuck won” through-line… but I’m not getting into that tonight lol.

I am very intrigued. Everything about this is circular, and talking about one aspect kind of tips you into talking about another, which is FASCINATING story construction. So I’m sorry if I repeated myself here!

It’s reminiscent of a triskelion, naturally, a la the necklace in ep2.

Calling it quits for tonight because I am TIRED. Bottom line:

The repeated implication is that Dean is Trapped and doing self-reflection to try to break free. How literal that may or may not in terms of where/when he is remains to be seen, but… it’s feeling more and more pointed.

And I know I’m one of the foremost Chuck won preachers, okay, but I do try not to let it color my view of this show too strongly. I can’t help it that the material feeds me at every turn ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#spnwin #spnwin meta #the winchesters meta #the winchesters #spnwin 1x05 #the winchesters 1x05 #when will I post my very long 1x04 meta on this website...#char writes things #dean winchester #unreliable narrator my beloved #hallofmirrorsnatural

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mlobsters · 3 months

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supernatural s14e2 gods and monsters (w. brad buckner, eugenie ross-leming)

updated my post on 14x01 with my kind of derpy revelation:

!! omg lol i just reread my 13x23 with my whole “can’t kill michael now that he’s wearing dean” is that the whole reason we get pellegrino back as nick, so we can find out that archangel blades don’t kill the vessel?? 😂

the very fancy apron and a knife that reminded me of the linoleum knife in hannibal mizumono for a hot second 🥴 (his is a karambit, i think) he looks good, again. and without the flat cap he doesn't look so much like he's cosplaying the 20s.

CAS And, you need me to stay here and babysit Nick and Jack. SAM It’s not babysitting, Cas. CAS Only in the sense that they’re not infants, but they both have to be supervised. Jack is lost without his grace, Nick is…he’s just a mess. SAM Well, it-it’s not his fault. Cas, Nick was housing, you know. He-he deserves a shot at rebuilding his life. CAS And yet every time I look at him, all I can see is the supreme agent of evil.

sam thinkin (what with the presumed cage torture while wearing that face) if i can do it, you can give it the old college try too

NICK I just don’t know what kind of pain would make me allow Lucifer to possess me.

it's like therapy for cas too. but this is the part where you tell him how luci exploited your desire to fix the problem of amara (??) at any risk or whatever and let him possess you too

BOBBY I’ve been fighting a friggin’ apocalypse for 15 years, my, FBI might be a little rusty.

cute. i never quite connected with bobby but it is kind of nice to have jim beaver around (even if i think the whole reunion tour of the past couple seasons is kind of ridiculous). and appreciate the confirmation of the timeline, 15 years is a lot but also not a lot. did mary get the ice caps are melting speech too because she probably needed it more than those guys -_-

can i also take a moment to say how the longer it goes on, the more goofy castiel wearing an outdoor coat indoors at all times is to me? lol. and i've heard actors talk about how it can be tiring to always be in the same costume. years and years of a trench coat...

CAS Yes, I do - a little. At the time of the Great Fall, when angels were banished from heaven, I lost what I thought was everything. I had no grace, I had no wings. I felt hopeless and useless. JACK What did you have left? CAS Well, uh..well, I had Sam and Dean. But I had something else that was extremely helpful. I had myself. Just the basic me, as, uh…as Dean would say, without all the bells and whistles. You know, Sam and Dean, they weren’t born with their expertise. They’ve been at it since they were children. Failing, winning, developing over the years. Patience, persistence - those are skills too. The past, where you come from, that’s important, but it is not as important as the future and where you’re going.

cas is on a roll. therapize it up, my guy! and i kind of like this pointing out how sam and dean got to where they are

oh so now dean gets to have a moment in the mirror with michael like sam did with lucifer in 5x22 (glad it didn't last long)

DEAN (in mirror) GET…OUT. MICHAEL I don’t think so. DEAN You can’t. MICHAEL Oh, but I can. Because, see… I own you. So hang on, and enjoy the ride.

i guess archangels don't have to follow the rules of possession. i'm not sure it's even a rule? who knows. but i know at least specifically with gadreel there was the whole, if sam knows about him, he can eject him. oh right, no one could dump lucifer either, duh. lol

well that was genuinely startling and creepy, nick trying to snap castiel out of existence

those are some truly unfortunate monster teeth

NICK Castiel, you’re just a stone cold body snatcher. You’re no different than Lucifer.

again singing the praises of mark pellegrino, he totally sells this. bringing some of the creeping dread of lucifer into this character too

CAS You know, in all my thousands of years, what happened to Jimmy Novak and his family are my greatest regret.

i recall when they finally decided to have some moral quandary over the jimmy novak situation, it felt too little too late to me. and for a second i was like right, jimmy dead. jimmy's wife dead. what about claire... oh right! we know what claire (and her glorious hair) are up to, and not dead

MICHAEL I admire you. Eating on the run, surviving, despite being stalked by those venal humans, who think of you as nothing but vermin.

this is the most ridiculous explanation. just say you hate humans, lucifer 2.0

similar to how they finally addressed the trauma of cas taking jimmy away from his family in whatever, s10, jack visiting kelly's parents and addressing how she just disappeared and they don't even know she's dead (which is just heartbreaking as a parent, to consider.) the show, past the first couple seasons, rarely takes the time to follow that thread through. this was well done but it's hard for me not to see it as a play for emotion and give jack something human connection-y to do

two things. 1) there's a little hint of the like. cliche film noir jazzy saxophone or whatever in the score when michael is standing up saying the "why do you think i let you escape" line and i find it just. well. it's something. what era are we going for here exactly. i mean, matches her apartment vibe too but not with michael in his 20s-ish getup :p b) i'm glad jackles is laying off the funky speech cadence he had for michael in 14x01, it's a little different in spots but not So Much

(this is a christopher lennertz and philip white for music episode)

laughing at this framing. let us gaze upon the defunct telescope while they sit on the edges of the weird step things

JACK Cas, Michael has to be stopped. CAS I know, and he will be - after Dean is- JACK No, Dean doesn’t matter. You’re all so focused on trying to save Dean and I get it, I understand, but - if he can’t be saved, if it comes down to him or Michael - Michael has to be stopped. Caged, or killed- CAS And if that means that Dean dies too? JACK Then Dean dies. I know this Michael. I’ve seen what he’s done to an entire world, and so have you. If stopping that from happening here means that Dean has to die, then …. Do you think he’d want it any other way?

LOL what! wow. jack doesn't subscribe to the winchester let the world burn if it means i get to save my brother worldview. which, very reasonable. but i'm not sure why jack of all people is bringing this up to cas right now. sounds more like... something bobby should be saying? not like jack knows them all that much better than au bobby does

even if i think this nick plotline is unnecessary and silly, pellegrino is killin it. he's so good at being creepy!

objectively very pretty shot but i still laughed

do they have any sort of angel detection system? dial a friend (angel) to take a look at him?

nick going full darkside and bashing the neighbor's skull in was a choice.

trying to sum up my viewing experience of the later seasons, i'm gonna borrow from our friend will graham: "You delight. I tolerate." i'm trying not to be an asshole and complain all the time, i want to enjoy it when i can. but i find it pretty challenging.

#supernatural #spnwatch #spn 14x02 #spn clip #brad buckner #eugenie ross leming #spn musical score #christopher lennertz #philip white

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echoes-lighthouse · 3 months

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Bananas and Lychees for the general selfship asks please!

Haha YES thank you Emile <3 ^-^

Here's the ask game if other people want to reblog it but I THINK I've actually gotten every single thing asked to me already!! I just have to make my way through my inbox!

lychees ✦ do you use self-shipping to explore dynamics that you otherwise wouldn't in real life? if so, what dynamics (if you're willing to tell)? do you use self-shipping to imagine things you do want to experience in real life?

Little bit of both! I use my selfshipping 90% as escapism: usually that's higher-energy dynamics that I just don't have energy for in real life. Me and my IRL partner are very homebound due to mental and physical disabilities so even a lot of my positive selfships are like... not things that I currently want because I know they would just exhaust and hurt me lol

And then of course I do have darker ships where I specifically explore dynamics I would never want in real life, where communication is shut down and one person has all the power, or it's a constant struggle between us for domination. None of which I would ever want: I am very concerned about comfort in my real relationships (both my own and my partners') and I literally have never skipped a chance to over-communicate.

The only place in my selfships where I feel like I really am exploring something that I want is in some of the specific non-sexual kink dynamics that I have with some of my f/os: it's something that I haven't had for a while and I would really like to have again with a platonic partner in kink.

bananas ✦ do you have any ships unrelated to self-ship?

BOY DO I!!!

Shipping is literally soooo important to me as a person and has been for a lot of years: I recently made a top 100 ships list (and I'm almost done moodboards for each one) and I'm going to expand it to a top 200 ships list as well!!!

If anyone wants to hear about MORE of my ships or why I ship them or anything like that then you can so totally hit me up, but here is my top ten list!!! (under a readmore for people who don't like canon shipping)

I made this list based on the idea of 'what dynamic I'll never be tired of: if I was going to read a new AU or fic idea, which pairing would I like to read it about?'

ECHO'S TOP TEN ALL TIME SHIPS

10: Spock/Kirk (Star Trek)

9. Jack/Bitty (Check Please!)

8. Holmes/Watson (Every Source)

7. Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens, book version)

6. Rey/Kylo (Star Wars)

5. Lan Zhan/Wei Ying (The Untamed/MDZS)

4. Charles/Erik (X-Men Movies)

3. L/Light (Death Note)

2. Skulduggery/Valkyrie (Skulduggery Pleasant)

Dean/Castiel (Supernatural)

(yes, my shipping taste in my top-tier tends to be very basic and match AO3 trends, because the more content I consume about a ship, the more I ship it! So it's rare for rarepairs to get up in those high brackets for me, but you can tell how much I LOVE them when they do get up there: looking at you, Valduggery)

#ask games #kink mention #nsft mention #hark i say nothing #about me #i can write an essay on any of my top ten ships #any of my top 100 actually

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inthiswhisper · 2 years

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pastor: your mother was sick. she wouldn't even go to the doctor. she said, ‘put your trust in god.’

sylvia: and he called her home. and you made fun of her for that. you changed everything. those people in there, they don't worship god. they worship you.

jack: [entering] let him go. i know you're in pain. i can feel it. just let me help you.

sylvia: everyone's trying to help me. who are you? you're nothing. you're just a scared little boy trying to make your daddies happy. [she stabs a knife into his heart; he heals himself]

pastor: [watching cas enter, put sylvia to sleep, and heal the victim] what are you?

pastor: you're an angel?

cas: well, not a very good one.

jack: what's going to happen to [sylvia]?

pastor: i don't know, but she won't be alone. whatever she needs, whatever it takes, i’ll find a place where she can get help. i spent my life taking care of all these other people. should've been taking care of her.

—

i have so many lazarus rising feelings about how this scene played out.

sylvia stabbing jack in the heart the way dean did cas. cas putting sylvia to sleep the way he did bobby. then, the pastor on the floor, looking up at cas and asking ‘what are you?’ similar to how dean did. cas confidently answered he was an angel of the lord before, but now... he’s an angel, just not a good one. this, after all cas said about his journey, finding family, knowing who he is now. this was a sort of rebirth. i loved it.

and that the pastor and sylvia were mirroring dean in some ways even before this scene. it’s not a 1:1, but sylvia had a very black and white view of things, just inverted from dean’s. full of faith instead of being faithless. plus, she talked about having a dad who was better at his job than being a dad, and talked about watching old movies with connor, who’s gay and is meant to reflect cas in that sense. i mean, connor was going to kick a woman out of the center because of ‘house rules,’ which sylvia was not happy about. then, the pastor stepped in—

pastor: yes, we have rules, but we also have spirit too, right?

connor: yes. we have spirit, pastor.

pastor: lead with compassion on this one.

—and inspired connor to be empathetic. the parts sylvia and the pastor play are important because at the end of the episode, she stabbed jack, but the pastor ended up being the one questioning cas. that transition from who dean was (sylvia) to who he is now (the pastor) — questioning first instead of shooting first. and that the pastor wants to prioritize his child. it can be read many different ways — i see some implications about dean and jack — but i also read it as dean now helping who dean was, to release himself from the anger. he spent his life taking care of people. saving and healing them. he should have prioritized himself in that way too.

also, the pastor, who spoke to cas about finding a way to focus on faith in a community rather than solely god, is relaying dean’s philosophy, as i said. he’s trying to pull focus away from an intangible higher power and direct it to what’s real — people, families. this is where sylvia is less like dean and more like the angels — she accuses the pastor of wrongdoing, that the pastor ‘changed everything’ and his followers don’t ‘worship god,’ they ‘worship you.’ it reminded me of hannah and naomi about dean and cas. the indication being dean changed cas, and cas’ faith was found in family through dean. cas didn’t worship god, he shifted his adoration of and faith in and duty for the sake of god to his family, to his child — and to dean.

#destiel #supernatural #spn liveblog #15x15

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luxshine · 3 years

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“Yo a ti, Cas” Or how mexican dubbing gripped us tight and raised us from Despair.

Ok. So I promised a big meta about the dubbing thing and so while I don’t have all the answers YET, here’s a bit of perspective on the differences between Despair and The Truth.

First, a little background. I am a former professional dubbing translator. While I worked on anime series from Japanese to Spanish, rather than in live action ones from English to Spanish, the process is not that different. Also, I worked in Mexico, where Supernatural is dubbed, so that’s why I can make the assumptions I make. Finally, my specialization in college was translation from English to Spanish, so I guess I know what the hell I’m talking about.

So let’s start on HOW you translate something for a dub. Back in the day, you got a ton of VHS tapes with the episodes on them with time codes, and, if you were lucky, a shooting script. This is to say, it was not a transcript of the actual words said in the episode, but the script BEFORE the actors, directors, and everyone else had a hand on what was said and changed. And thus, anything adlibbed? Is not going to be in that script which, at least for the anime side of things? Was a nightmare as the script was usually “And here X actor can say whatever they want” and I had to go and listen to the scene ten thousand times. Now a days, you get either a video file or a streaming link, and sometimes, the shooting script. If you get a script, btw, you can also not get a script in the original language. I know that the person who had to translate Sprited Away to Spanish was working off a German script, not the Japanese one. So yeah, some things can be lost in translation there.

THEN you get to translate. BUT you can’t just translate word by word. You have to adapt it so that it will sound like something a person will say, and sometimes, literally is not the way to do it. And in particular, Mexican dubbing has a reputation to uphold as the “Neutral” dub that is send to most Spanish-speaking countries in Latin America, so we can’t use certain words (I don’t have the list at hand, but I remember that I couldn’t use “Llanta” for Tire, and so I had to use “Neumatico”. And no “sweaters” or “hotcakes” or stuff like that), AND we have to match the lips of the original video. Which is like, the worst nightmare ever because of what we call “labiales”, that is to say, the letters where lips close.

I can’t tell you how much we all loved when a character gave a long winded speech with their back to the camera due to those damned closed lip letters.

All this is to say that sometimes, the line could be “We are all in this together for good or bad”, and the translation become something more like “Estamos en esto, por las buenas o las malas” (We’re on this, the good way or the bad way) or “Estamos juntos en las buenas y en las malas” (We’re together in the good and the bad), depending on the translator, dub director, and voice actor.

Depending on the client, that is, the original owner of the series, sometimes they will review the translation once it’s all dubbed and edited. I know that in the Avengers movie, a Disney rep was present on the cabin and forbade any changes from the script, which resulted on a couple of awkward lines in the end result. I don’t know if that’s the case for Supernatural, but I honestly doubt it. Still, translators can’t make huge changes for the dialogue. One couldn’t just ADD a relationship that wasn’t there, no matter what.

(As an aside, due to the very conservative mindset of some tv stations, it’s more common that gay relationships become more ambiguous, by changing “I love you” to “Te quiero” which can be more of a filial love than a romantic one. And well, that one case in Sailor Moon where a gay character was changed into a woman because the dub director honestly thought the character was a woman. But that was in the nineties)

Now, let’s go to how Castiel’s speech was translated.

The original, according to Superwiki, went like this:

Castiel: You're the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know. You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of Hell, knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam. I cared about Jack. I cared about the whole world because of you. You changed me, Dean.

Dean: Why does this sound like a goodbye? Castiel: Because it is. I love you. Dean: Don't do this, Cas. Cas.

And the translation, as it was aired, went like this (And people, you have no idea the war flashbacks transcribing this gave me, so I hope you appreciate it):

Castiel: Eres el hombre mas amoroso sobre la Tierra. Un hombre sin egoismo; el hombre mas generoso que haya visto, y que jamas vere. Sabes que desde que nos conocimos y desde que te saque del infierno, el conocerte me ha cambiado. Porque a ti te importa. Y a mi me importa. Me importas tu. Y me importa Sam, me importa Jack, me importa todo el mundo. Y fue por ti. Tu me cambiaste, Dean.

Dean: Porque suena esto a despedida?

Castiel: Porque asi fue. Te amo.

Dean: Yo a ti, Cas. (The empty appears and Billie opens the door) Cas…

Castiel: Adios Dean

Dean: No!

Ok. So… At first glance, they’re pretty much the same until we get to the I love you. BUT let’s dissect it a little bit.

Cas begins with a “Eres el hombre mas amoroso sobre la Tierra” which is not how I would’ve translated “The most caring man on Earth” since “caring” is more like “Cariñoso” rather than “amoroso” which would be “loving”, and yes, there’s a difference. Plus, “el hombre mas amoroso” sounds a bit clunky, so Personally, I’d have gone with “Eres el hombre mas cariñoso en la Tierra”, that would’ve given us more time for the rest of the speech, but I wonder if the translator choice for Amoroso instead was more due to the fact that “amor” (love) is more clearly romantic than “care” (cariño, in a sense, more on this later) and so it foreshadows the end.

Again, with the literal clunkyness we have “Un hombre sin egoismo” (A man without egoism) which sounds weird no matter what language you speak, and it should’ve been “Un hombre dadivoso” (A giving man) or “un hombre desinteresado” (a selfless man) although the second could be mis-construed as “a man without interests” so “dadivoso” would’ve better. But the more puzzling is that the Spanish separates the selfless man from the next, which is REALLY confusing as the English is “the most loving man”, which would be “el hombre mas amoroso” making it quite redundant, so the Spanish changes it to “the most generous man”, “el hombre mas generoso”. To add to this, Cas continues with “that I have seen and I will ever see” instead of “That I know”, because it’s far more poetic. And loving.

So yeah, Mexican Cas is basically saying that Dean Winchester is made of love and puppies.

Ahem.

The next part “You know, ever since I pulled you out of hell, you’ve changed me” is more or less word for word, and the only thing that changes is that the English sounds more like a question and the Spanish one is an affirmation. YOU KNOW that ever since I pulled you out of hell, you changed me.” Little verb tense play, that doesn't change much except Cas’s resolution to say what he has to say.

And then we get to the part that made me squeal out loud. Because we go from

“Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam. I cared about Jack. I cared about the whole world because of you”

“Porque a ti te importa. Y a mi me importa. Me importas tu. Y me importa Sam, me importa Jack, me importa todo el mundo.” Which at first glance is the same, but NOPE.

First change: The original is in past tense “I cared”. Spanish version is in present tense: “I care”.

Which is a little non important thing except when you remember that simple present means “immutable absolute truth that won’t change with time”

Second, the choice of word for care.

I mentioned before that Care can be Cariño, as in filial, non romantic love (Or romantic love pet name, as it can also be Darling. It’s one of THOSE words). Other translations for care include “cuidado” (as in attention, concern, keeping, and worry), and of course “interesarse” (Which also can be care), “preocuparse” (care, bother, trouble, mind, fuss), and yes, “importar” but “importar” ONLY translates to English as a verb as “import”, “matter” “amount to” and notice how none of those words include “love”.

Mexican Cas is not saying “you love the world, and so I do”. Mexican Cas is saying “The world matters to you, and thus it matters to me, but my feelings for the World (and Sam, and Jack) are not in the same league as my feelings for you.”

And then Dean asks “Why does this sound like a Goodbye”, just like in English, in present tense…

And Mexican Cas replies in PAST tense. “Porque asi fue”. And THIS is important because it means that everything he said before WAS the goodbye, and not what comes next. All the rest? Is in the past. “Because it was”. Not “Because it IS”. And the next part? Is their future.

I love you.

Te amo.

Simple present. No ambiguity like “te quiero”. Spanish Te amo is for romantic love. Not brotherly, not family, not bro-mantic. ROMANTIC.

It’s like “I’m IN love with you” (Although that’d be “Estoy enamorado de ti” and I doubt that would’ve fit in the time Misha spoke)

And of course, the answer. “Yo a ti, Cas”. Not “And I, you” as I’ve seen it before (And I also thought it was, until transcribing the scene) but a simple “I, you, Cas.” Which ok, pretty cave-speak, but the meaning is pretty clear. Dean Winchester loves his gay angel.

It is also telling that the empty doesn’t appear until AFTER Dean confessed, so no, Mexican Cas is not “happy with the saying”, he had to get to the “happy with the having”.

And when Billy appears, it does seem as if he wants to say something more, but Cas is a love-sick selfsacrificing dumbass and so we all get our hearts broken.

I did get in contact with Dean Winchester’s mexican voice actor, and am waiting for answers to a small interview I did with him which includes the question “did that And I you, Cas” was in the script, and am trying to contact Castiel’s mexican voice actor. So I will be updating you on that. But I hope this clears up some of the questions about how Mexican dubbing made Destiel Canon :D

#dean deserved better #castiel deserved better #they silenced you #bi dean #supernatural mexican dubbing #y yo a ti #te amo #destiel #destielforever

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pearlycastiel · 3 years

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𝐦𝐲 𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥.

description || you’re in trouble and when you pray to your boyfriend jack, he doesn’t hesitate to help you.

pairing || jack kline x fem!reader, dean winchester x daughter!reader, sam winchester x niece!reader, castiel x platonic!reader

warnings || angst, partying, alcohol, fluff at ending

word count || 1,458

a/n || literally had this idea at 3 am haha. feedback and reblogs are very much appreciated <3

HIGH SCHOOL WAS something for you and it was definitely something when your family are supernatural hunters. Being Dean Winchester's daughter meant having the best protection from an angel, a nephilim, and of course, your father and uncle.

When you first met Jack, you felt a feeling that you have never felt with anyone else. At first, you thought it was anxiety or fear from the fact that Jack was Lucifer's son, but soon enough, it was something good.

The hints that you've noticed from Jack such as him being close to you at all times, or him smiling brightly when you would walk into his room, hinted clearly how Jack had some sort of attraction to you as well.

Soon enough, when Jack finally got the gist of how human feelings worked, he confessed how he couldn't stand a life without you. He would gush about how important you were to him and how he wanted to protect you at all costs. That was the day he asked you to be his girlfriend.

And you proudly said yes.

This brings you to this day, where school was more bearable with your slightly reconstructed life. When you started to date Jack, life became somewhat more admissable as you had something to look forward to when you came home.

You were currently coming out of soccer practice and one of your decent acquaintances walked up to you.

"Hey, Y/n. Are you free tonight? I'm having this big party and you should definitely come." Lexi was a really sweet person and you knew her parties were fun. You thought about it for a while considering how overprotective your family is. But you said yes anyway, wanting to have a fun time.

"Sure, I'll see you tonight."

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

Back at the bunker, you gave your family a dramatic entrance as you started to sing aloud abruptly, definitely gaining the attention of the boys.

Jack was the first one to greet you and he gave you one of his heartwarming hugs and a small kiss on your cheek.

"Hi Y/n, how was school today? I also made your favorite because I know you had a long day at today." You stared at Jack in awe, finding it sweet how he would make you a grilled cheese when you came home from school.

"Thanks, Jack. What would I do without you?"

"I should be the one asking you that. You mean a lot to me, Y/n." A smile crept upon your lips and you were about to kiss Jack until you heard the booming voice of your father.

"Hey! Six feet apart kids," Dean said, getting in between you and Jack, him spreading his arms out, pretending to stretch.

"So funny, dad," you said sarcastically. You weren't too certain when you should ask your father if you could go to the party, but you didn't have to ask when he saw the look on your face.

"I know that look, what's up?" Surprised by his diligent attention, you shot your head up slightly caught off guard.

"Oh, well...what makes you think there's something up?"

"Whenever you're nervous, you always fidget with your charm bracelet." You silently cursed to yourself, seeing how you gave away the hint of wanting something. Sighing in defeat, you decided to tell Dean about the party.

"So I got invited to this party and I was won--"

Before you could even finish your sentence, Dean cut you off abruptly, knowing where this was going to go.

"No. Nope. Nope, definitely not. You're not going to a party and that's final." Dean's voice made it clear he was serious, but you being the stubborn person you were, insisted.

"Dad, come on, it's going to be fun, plus you know I'm responsible enough." Dean consistently shook his head, not comfortable with you going to a party.

"I know you're responsible enough, I don't trust the people there. Who knows who a person can be what? I'm done talking about this, you're not going and I made my decision."

You huffed out in annoyance, knowing you weren't going to win this argument, so you stomped back into your room, Jack following your trail. Now you were on to plan b which was sneaking out.

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

You hated how you had to lie to Jack, but you knew he wouldn't let you out either, seeing how often he worries about you as well.

The last time you went out when you weren't supposed to, Jack put two fingers on your forehead and knocked you out. So you knew this time wouldn't be any different.

Being as discreet as you possibly could, you slowly escaped the bunker doors and proceeded to walk towards Lexi's house. Luckily, her house wasn't too far from yours.

Once you arrived, lights and music boomed through the doors. Lexi greeted you as she was drunk and you smiled at her seeing her true side.

You gulped down a couple of shots and stood against the wall, taking in the vibes of drunk teenagers. Suddenly a man came up towards you, a sly and douchey smirk plastered on his face.

"Hey, hottie, what's a gorgeous woman like you doing all alone? And a better question, why are you not with me?" You rolled your eyes at him and attempted to walk away, but he grabbed your wrist tightly.

"I didn't say you could walk away, baby." He started to walk closer towards your body, your personal space definitely invaded. Now you were done. You put your drink down and grabbed his wrist, twisting it making him scream in agony.

You could have easily broken his arm, but you didn't want to make a big scene. "Touch me again, and you will regret it." He had a petrified look on his face and put up his hands in surrender, but you knew he was still a massive dick.

Unfortunately, when you put your drink down, you weren't paying attention enough to notice that your drink was spiked.

You took a couple sips of your drink and you felt free, but the sudden feeling of dizziness overwhelmed your body, blackness filling your vision.

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

When you gained consciousness once more, you noticed the music wasn't blaring and the setting changed. You were now in an empty warehouse, rust on the walls and live wire lamps.

"Well, well, who knew the youngest Winchester would have her life ended by going to a teenage party." You glared at the man, not sure what he was, but then he blinked, his eyes turning black, now evident he was a demon.

"Son of a bitch, let me go." You said weakly, the drugs still having an effect on you. He just smiled evilly and closed the door, leaving you alone.

You took this opportunity to pray to Jack, hoping he was awake to hear your prayer.

"Jack, baby, if you're hearing this, I n-need help."

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

When Jack heard your prayer, he sprinted to your room, waking up Sam and Dean, Castiel already being awake considering he doesn't sleep.

When he saw you weren't in your room, fear and anger started to overcome his body.

"Jack, what's wrong, "Castiel asked, the two older Winchester's alerted while walking out of their room.

"Y/n sent me a prayer, something wrong and she's not in her room." Jack then closed his eyes and focused on you. He saw your distressed state and to say he was angry was an understatement. His eyes started to glow gold and his body was shaking in anger.

Being so angry that you were in trouble and somebody is hurting you, Jack didn't even say another word as he used his wings and teleported to your location. His rage was still fuming through his body as he saw the demon holding a knife and walking towards you.

Not hesitating, Jack reached out his arm as golden circles filled the room, instantly killing the other demons.

Once he saw the perpetrators were dead, Jack saw the sight of you and his eyes blinked back to blue.

"Y/n!" Jack ran to your side and broke the chains off of your body easily. He instantly pulled you into a hug and you didn't hesitate to show your tears as you desperately needed comfort from your boyfriend.

"I'm sorry Jack, I shouldn't have left," you sobbed into his shoulder. He gently kissed your head, the feeling of his warmth comforting you.

"Don't worry, Y/n, you're okay. How about we go home and watch that one internet service...what was it called..N-N-"

"You mean Netflix?" You said with a stifled laugh.

"Yeah! Let's watch Netflix." You nodded your head and Jack teleported back to the bunker, relief filling your body.

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

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plus-size-reader · 3 years

Text

Not a Good Idea

Jack Kline x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 2084 words

Warnings: none

Summary: Jack asks out the reader thinking he's joking with her and she goes to hide but he follows easily?

For @lilacprincessofrecovery, I hope you like it darling

—————————————————————————————————

Jack had always had a crush on you, now that he understood what that meant.

He felt connected to you, and even though he didn’t know a ton of other people, he knew enough. He knew that no one was ever going to make him feel like you did, which was why he decided to ask you out on a date in the first place.

That was what you did when you liked someone, he’d seen Dean do it a million times before.

It seemed to work out for him just fine, because he was always in the company of women. You were a woman, and he didn’t see a reason he couldn’t do the same thing with you.

Granted, he hadn’t exactly worked out all the details yet but he figured you would help him.

You always did.

All he had to do was ask you and the rest would fall into place.

At least, in theory that was how it was supposed to work. After all, as soon as he had suggested that the two of you go out for a romantic evening as Dean so often did, you weren’t nearly as receptive to the idea as he imagined you would be.

In fact, you almost seemed upset by what he was suggesting.

He’d never seen you so upset before.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea” you hummed, barely looking up from your laptop as you spoke, your eyes still locked on the screen. Had Jack not been so fine tuned to your every move, he may have missed the slight tensing in your jaw.

He had definitely upset you, but what he didn’t understand was how.

In all those times Dean had asked a girl to have dinner with him, or get some coffee in the morning, she had never reacted like you were now.

In fact, you hardly ever acted like that at all.

You were always very attentive to Jack when he talked to you, eager to help him navigate the world around him or help him understand something he couldn’t quite wrap his head around.

It wasn’t like you to be so cold, but you couldn’t help it.

What he was asking, it was too much.

“What do you mean, not a good idea? Did I say something wrong?” he asked, concerned that he had unknowingly done something to offend you.

It all seemed pretty straight forward but it wouldn’t have surprised Jack if he’d somehow misread the situation or said something he shouldn’t have. He was pretty new to this whole thing after all.

It wasn’t like someone had gone out of their way to teach him how to talk to a girl he liked, he was just making it up as he went.

“No, it’s just not a good idea” you repeated, unsure of what to say to get him to drop this whole thing.

Nothing was going to make him realize how humiliating this was for you.

It just wasn’t fair.

You couldn’t imagine Jack would do something like that to be cruel to you, or push buttons that he shouldn’t but you couldn’t help but be upset by it.

It was just too much.

Jack hardly even realized what it was he was asking, and you just had a bad feeling about it. You knew that he was trying to be sweet, trying to do what he thought he should, but it wasn’t like he actually understood any of this.

You were basically the only girl he knew, like, at all.

Of course he had come to the conclusion that he wanted to have something with you because he’d seen this before. He constantly saw Dean trying to woo beautiful women and all that, but he wasn’t Dean, and you certainly weren’t like those women in the bar.

He didn’t know enough about this to even know what he wanted.

He didn’t know enough to know why you weren’t what he wanted, and the last thing you wanted was to wait around, caring about him, until he realized that.

You would only get your heart broken.

There was silence between the two of you for a moment as Jack desperately tried to understand what could have possibly gone so wrong in these few moments since he approached and it was only overwhelming you more.

You felt like you were ruining everything, like by saying no you were going to upset Jack and he wouldn’t want to be your friend anymore but he didn;t know what you did.

He didn’t understand that you were only trying to help him in the long run.

“I, I have to go” you decided, gathering the few files Sam had given you to look over as you went. It would be better to just get out of this situation as quickly as you could, especially since Jack clearly wasn’t going anywhere.

Maybe later you could have Dean explain just why this was such a bad idea. It would be much simpler than having to go through telling him yourself.

It was bad enough you were having this conversation in the first place.

You hoped that you would just be able to go, though, maybe you should have known better than to think that. As soon as you rounded the corner to your room, you came face to face with him again.

It was too much.

“What are you doing?” you gasped, cursing yourself for forgetting about what he was. It was lost on you too often that Jack wasn’t human and he could do things like teleport around and scare the shit out of you.

You thought you had been pretty clear about the fact that you wanted to be alone, but like Jack was known to do, he didn’t get the message.

Instead, he found himself more worried about upsetting you than anything else, including your own wants.

“I’m sorry, I thought I was supposed to come with you” he shrugged, once again struck with the fact he had done something wrong. This was really hard for him, and he was just trying to get it right.

It seemed like everything he was doing lately was wrong, no matter how hard he tried to get it right.

...and now he’d upset you, his only friend in the world.

“No, I told-'' you started, but stopped as soon as you saw the look on his face change from concern to complete and utter confusion. Just when he thought he understood, he went and did something bad.

It was getting frustrating.

“It’s okay, I just don’t think you understand what you’re asking” you allowed, deciding that if he wasn't going to just take your no for an answer, you were going to have to shed some light on the subject.

Just like Jack wasn’t a regular guy in any other sense, he wasn’t a regular guy in this either. He wasn’t being a creep or yanking your chain just to get a rise out of you.

If he had asked for a date, that was because he wanted one.

It wasn’t his fault he didn’t quite get why it wouldn’t ever work.

“Would you tell me? Please?” Jack hummed, confused as to why this was upsetting you so much. It wasn’t underhanded or accusatory like you had come to expect from other men.

It was real.

Jack was really just confused and that made this conversation that much harder.

“You don’t want to go out with me Jack, I don’t look anything like those girls Dean goes out with, do I?” you reasoned, hoping somehow he would get the point.

What you were saying made all the sense in the world to you, but not to Jack. He didn’t see what the big deal was, or why that mattered but clearly, you did.

There was this look in your eyes that he’d never seen before.

“This? Do the women Dean dates have this?” you asked, your voice little more than a whisper now as you grabbed at the fat around your middle with your fingers, as if proving your point.

To you, that skin was your biggest shame and more than enough reason for him not to care about you at all but Jack, being the metaphysical being he was, didn’t see a single flaw in you.

To him, every person was exactly how they needed to be and you were no exception to that.

You were perfect.

“I’m not sure. I’ve never looked at them too closely” he admitted, sitting down beside you on your bed, where you had decided to stay. It was far easier than standing there, having him look at you like that.

This whole thing was ridiculous.

It would have been much easier if he just accepted your no in the first place, but maybe that was the hardest part. Deep down, you didn’t want him to accept your no, or to know just how much you hated your own body.

There was nothing more embarrassing, but again, you had to remember who it was you were talking to.

Jack really didn’t have anything to gain by making you feel like a terrible person, and he didn't have a problem with how you looked. The only trouble would be making sure you understood that.

He didn’t see anything wrong with you, not at all.

“This is why you’re upset?” he clarified, Jack knew well enough to know that just because he didn’t understand why it was such a big deal, it was obviously affecting you quite a bit.

That meant it had to be important to him too.

“Yes Jack, you deserve a girl like the one’s Dean cares so much about. You can’t go out with me just because I’m the only girl you know” you tried, hoping that this would prove it to him.

There were plenty of other girls out there, girls far prettier than you, but even hearing that, Jack wasn’t swayed in the least.

He understood that you were different than they were, he was just lost on how they were somehow better.

They didn’t help him keep track of things that sometimes slipped his mind or read to him when he was too preoccupied to remember that he had to sleep every once and a while.

They didn’t pay attention to him or care about him, not like you did.

Besides, you were his best friend, his only friend. If there was anyone alive he was going to be in love with, or take on a date, it was you. There was no one in the world as important to him as you.

“But you’re my favorite girl, doesn’t that mean something too?” he tried, still genuinely confused if he had a point or not. He thought that he did but you seemed so sure that you were right.

He didn’t know what to believe.

“How can I be your favorite when I’m the only one you know?” you asked, a small laugh leaving your throat before you could stop it, thinking about how silly this whole thing was.

All Jack wanted to do was have dinner with you, or something like that, and you had turned it into something else completely.

He was trying to prove a point he didn’t even understand just because he cared about you, and that was sweet. Besides, it was nice to hear that you were his favorite girl, even if the roster was short.

You did like Jack, of course you did, you just didn’t want him to make a decision without knowing everything.

Right now, he didn’t know everything.

“Because even if I knew every girl on the planet, you would still be my favorite” he shrugged, leaving you just as speechless as you had been at the very start of this.

You wanted to talk to him, wanted to say anything, but it wouldn’t make any difference. There was nothing you could say that was going to make a difference, you wanted to go out with him.

More than anything.

“I’ll go on a date with you, if you’re sure it's what you want” you decided, looking into his blue eyes and finding it impossible to not do exactly that. You liked him and nothing was going to change that.

If he wanted to go on a date, a real date like normal people did, there was no sense in arguing with him.

“I would really like that”

#jack kline #supernatural #spn #jack kline x reader #jack kline x ps reader #jack kline x plus size reader #jack kline imagine #supernatural x reader #supernatural x ps reader #supernatural x plus size reader #spn x reader #spn x ps reader #spn x plus size reader #spn imagine

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ltleflrt · 3 years

Note

Hey Carrie! You talked a little the other day about writers' tendency to start a fic too early in the story, and how you see a lot of first scenes that could have been scrapped to improve the story. My question is if you have some tips to recognize while writing that first scene that you are starting too early in the story?

Hello friend!

That's a really good question, and I'll see if I can give an answer that makes sense. I am not a professional, and I'm not educated or trained in this stuff, it's just something that I recognize from years and years and years of voracious reading. And as with all writing advice, I encourage you to take what I'm going to say with a grain of salt and remember that no writing rule is a hard rule, only a guideline.

Also, my advice is going to be pertaining fanfiction, and specifically to AUs. Obviously a published book has an editor with a razor blade going through a manuscript for you, and the problems that bother me in fanfiction crop up in AUs more than Canonverse.

Oh, and every instance of "you" is general, not specific 😜

So I think the main problem that I see is that people are starting with an Info Dump. An Info Dump is not always a bad thing, sometimes it's completely necessary, but it is NOT where you want to start your story. If it absolutely has to be done, it's better to be somewhere in the middle or near the end. When it's something that your characters need to know.

That's an important bit: Do your characters need to know this?

And related to that: Does your audience need to know this for the story to make sense?

And very important follow up: If the answers to the above questions are yes, does the character/audience need to know this RIGHT NOW?

There's a lot of information about your story that YOU need to know. Heck, my notes files are full of sooooooo much stuff that I know about the characters and plot that never reaches the final product.

So when you're reading your first chapter (I say reading, not writing, because sometimes info dumping for your own benefit is good, and then you fix it before you share the story lol), ask yourself those two questions.

So for example:

In an AU where Dean is a tattoo artist, and it's his POV. The story starts with Dean driving to work, and when he gets there he's going to find out that the empty shop next door has been purchased and is going to be a yoga studio. He meets Castiel out front, up on a ladder trying to hang a hand painted sign, and some teens go running buy and knock into the ladder and Dean has to catch Castiel from falling. (Anyone who wants to adopt this idea is welcome to it btw, I would love to read this lol)

The mistake I often see in a first chapter like this is that as Dean is walking to work, there's a whole Info Dump about why he's a tattoo artist instead of a hunter. He'll be ambling along, thinking about his nice little business, and there's info about how his mom died in a fire, and his dad was a jerk, and Dean didn't go to college because he saved his money for Sammy's college fund, and Dean's only passion was art, and Bobby Singer introduced him to a tattoo shop owner who took Dean under his wing, etc.

Question 1, does your character need to know this?: Why is Dean reflecting on his past? Does Castiel need to know this information in order to build a romance with Dean?

Question 2, does your audience need to know this?: Why does this information matter? If Dean's only reflecting on this because you want to make sure your audience knows where the timeline changed and this became an AU, then you're starting too early in your story. Dean doesn't need to know this, and honestly in a lot of cases the reader doesn't need to know this. This is information that should have been left in your notes file.

Question 3, does the character/audience need to know this NOW?: If this information is pertinent to the plot, like maybe there's some trauma there that Castiel might need to know about to develop their relationship, then you don't want to put it HERE, you want to put it in a conversation with Castiel LATER.

If I was writing this AU, I would just start with Dean sipping his coffee, he's kinda tired because reasons, he looks up to see an unusual commotion, and has to drop his coffee and sprint forward to catch Cas. If he's reflecting on anything in this scene, it's going to be whatever made him tired, or how good/bad the coffee is this morning. Since Cas is a new business owner, they can talk about the origins of Dean's business on their first date, because it'll be a relevant response to Castiel talking about the origins of his yoga studio.

And just in general, if Dean's origin story includes a lot of canon elements, like mom dying in a fire, dad being a deadbeat, Sammy being the adorable overachieving Stanford student.... try to hide that info for as long as you can so that the audience is actually curious about it by the time the info might pop up. It's the wild divergences that are more interesting earlier on.

Okay, and then I want to talk about my giant pet peeve for a starting chapter. It's a specific kind of info dump, that often includes the stuff from above, but then goes a step further.

My nemesis, The Daily Grind.

I haven't asked the authors, so I could be wrong about this, but I feel like most of the time when this type of chapter is included in a story it is because the author wants to show the reader that the character's life is boring and meaningless before the plot's inciting incident. I can absolutely see why that might be considered an important detail about the character, but keep in mind if it's boring and meaningless to the character, it's boring and meaningless to your audience.

You know how I said earlier that writing tips should never be hard and fast rules? Well this is in regards to that Show Don't Tell rule, and it's an example of TOO MUCH showing lol

It is possible to do a daily grind in an interesting way, but only if you include a Shake Up right away. And you have to look at the 3 questions a little bit differently.

So for example:

Castiel POV, and he works in an office. His daily routine is to always get up at the same time every day, he goes for his run, he grooms himself, he has his breakfast, he goes to work and talks to Kelly about how Jack's doing in kindergarten for a few minutes before going into his office. Adler comes in to be a prick, Castiel hates him for it, and then he does his reports, has lunch hiding in a corner of the lunch room so that his co-workers will leave him alone, he does more reporting, leaves an hour after his shift technically ends, goes home to a lonely apartment that maybe includes a pet who is the only being that shows him affection, has an unsatisfying dinner of leftover takeout while watching a mindless reality tv show, then he goes to bed.

Ugh.

BORING.

Which, yeah I get it, the point is that his life is boring. But now the story is too, and I've clicked the back button before I can see how exciting it's capable of getting.

Question 1, does your character need to know this?: No. He knows. Poor thing definitely already knows.

Question 2, does your audience need to know this?: Yes, but...

Question 3, does the character/audience need to know this NOW?: Yes, but new question for ya:

Optional Question 4, why does this need to be separate from your plot's inciting incident? The answer to this 4th question is usually that it doesn't.

Chapter 2 of this type of beginning usually shows the shake up of Castiel's day. My advice is to start with the shakeup, and sprinkle in the details of what you would have put into chapter 1 to show the contrast. It's far more interesting to learn how boring Castiel's day is by starting with the shake up.

So, same scenario:

Castiel's alarm doesn't go off for some reason, OH NO HIS ROUTINE IS SHAKEN UP! You're explaining his routine while also stressing him the fuck out because he has to rush, or skip something that he normally needs to do. Action! Interesting! He gets to work late, and has to miss his conversation with Kelly about Jack because she's telling him that Adler's already in his office being a prick because Castiel isn't there waiting for him like he always is. Oh shit, he's pissing off his asshole boss! Conflict! He's so flustered by the shakeups that he misses something on his report, and he gets a call from that new marketing guy Dean Winchester who asks if they can have a meeting about it when Castiel normally takes his lunch. BAM! MEET CUTE OPPORTUNITY! While Castiel is getting all flustered by how pretty Dean is while they talk about TPS reports, he can reflect on how this is both better and worse than hiding from his co-workers in the corner of the lunch room. The rest of the day after that meeting he's thinking about how weird this day is, he still goes home an hour late, he talks to his pet about his weird day when he gets home, and maybe he still eats leftover takeout, but he's not paying attention to the reality tv show because holy shit he wants to count Dean's freckles.

In this example, you're Telling the audience about Castiel's normal routine instead of Showing them. But since it's during a plot heavy chapter, it works!

Lemme see if I can TL:DR this...

As you're reading, ask yourself who needs to know this information, why do they need to know this information, and why is it important for this information to be included early instead of later?

If the answer to any of those questions boils down to "this is backstory" instead of "this kicks off the plot", then you've started too early.

I hope this helps? I'm always nervous about giving writing advice because so much of the time I have no idea what I'm doing, and I'm just feeling around in the dark. And I definitely do not ever want to hurt an author's feelings, because this hobby is so fucking hard, and we're all fragile. Even authors who welcome con-crit with open arms will have a weak point that they're unaware of that might get poked wrong and cause a crack, ya know?

I hope anyone who gets this far who might see their own works reflected in my examples understands that I have a lot of respect for their ability to put their work out into the world, and I want them to keep doing it. We're here to have fun, okay? Okay. I love y'all 💜

#ltleramblings #writer's angst #also i think some of these problems can be solved with a prologue #but that's something i'm literally exploring in my current WIP #so I have no idea if I'm doing it right #and i might be breaking all of my own rules with it lol

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wormstacheangel · 3 years

Text

For The Girl Who Has Everything

Masterpost link for Reelin’ In The Years: Here

AO3 Link: Here

wc: 2.4k Summary: Claire is too mad to even look at Cas let alone talk to him. Dean knew he had to step up because two people with messed up childhoods and anger issues really need to spend more time together talking about their feelings.

When Chuck was defeated, a lot of people came to the bunker to celebrate. Those times were a big blur to Dean, his focus was on finding a way to save Cas, and it wasn’t until he saw Claire run down those steps that the world focused again. She smiled at him, a rare big grin, before her arms wrapped around his neck to bring him down for a hug with an intoxicating giggle.

‘She didn’t know,’ Dean thought as his arms hung loosely at his sides.

He hid his face in her curls, not knowing how to face another kid Cas left behind because of him. He was holding his breath when she pulled away to look at him. Her eyebrows were raised in a question that Dean didn’t hear. Didn’t want to hear.

She repeated it, “Dude, where’s Cas? Is the old man sleeping or something?”

‘Yes.’ Dean swallowed the hard lump in his throat.

He didn’t look at the audience around them when he finally opened his mouth to say, “Claire, Ca—” He couldn’t say his name. He felt like it would tear the fragile wall that was keeping him on his feet if he did. “I’m sorry.”

Dean watched as her face twisted into confusion, understanding, and then settling into anger.

She was trying to fight the tears, but they fell as she yelled, “No! No, you were—Where were you? Why didn’t you protect him?”

“He protected me. He—he saved me.”

She looked at him with round eyes, shaking her head as if not wanting to believe it.

“Then it should’ve been you! You should’ve died! Not him!” Dean flinched at the words that have been echoing in his head since that night. “It’s not fair!”

Claire’s angry fist collided with his chest. He flinched at every hit but didn’t back away as her punches became sporadic but still filled with grief. Maybe even guilt.

“I’m sorry.” Dean knew those words did nothing to comfort, but he couldn’t help but say them. “I’m so sorry, Claire.”

She screamed in frustration until her punches weakened, and he was holding her. Then, finally, she fell against him, her face hidden in his chest as her grip tightened on his shirt.

She didn’t stay after that.

She walked back up the stairs with Jody and Kaia following behind her. Jack tried to talk to her, but she couldn’t even look at him. Dean couldn’t blame her.

It’s hard to look at the kid when he reminded them of the person they lost.

Of course, Dean never told Cas any of this.

Since coming back, Cas had been dealing with the silent treatment from the killer Barbie. She only replied with the thumbs-up emoji, and when Cas was too much, she responded with the middle finger emoji. A little warning advising Cas to back off.

She only visited him once, but that was when Cas was in the hospital. She freaked out, yelled at him for being stupid, and then passed out by his bed only to leave the next morning like nothing ever happened. Still, it made Cas feel a little better knowing she still cared, but she was dealing with it her way. Or, as Cas liked to say, she was dealing with feelings the Dean Winchester way. Of course, he’ll argue it wasn’t true, but he knows he won’t win that one.

Now he was sitting awkwardly in Jody’s living room watching Kaia and Patience play with Jack on the floor while Claire and Cas had a yelling match in the privacy of the backyard. Well, Claire was yelling while Cas was trying very hard to keep his tone even, which only made Claire angrier.

“I’m done talking to you!” Claire slid the glass door open and stormed through the living room.

“Then try listening to me!” Cas followed behind her, watching as she walked straight past the living room and towards the front door. “Claire. Claire, where are you going?”

She whipped around to glare daggers at Cas, eyes wide filled with tears, but she still looked at him with a pained grimace. “Did you even think of me? When you were out there being a damn hero. Did you-Did you think of me?” Her voice breaking on the last word made Dean flinch.

“Claire, of course-”

“No. No, of course, you didn’t. Cause if you did, then you wouldn’t have-” She bit her cheek as tears started to fall. She stood tall, presenting as strong, as her expression hardened. “You left me, Castiel. And now I-I don’t,” She looked around the room. It was quiet as everyone watched the interaction before her eyes landed on a little Jack in Kaia’s arms. She clicked her tongue before turning back to the door. “I’m leaving.”

“Claire.” Cas tried following her, but Dean quickly rushed up to stop him. “Dean. I may not have my strength, but I will-”

“Calm down, Rocky,” Dean had a hand on Cas’s shoulder to stop him. “I just wanted to stop you from making it worse.”

“I don’t think I can. She hates me.”

“She doesn’t.” He assures his boyfriend with a little smile, but Cas simply rolled his eyes at him. “Okay, you stay here. Talk to your son, and I’ll go talk to the other kid.”

“Oh yeah? What are you going to say to her?”

“I don’t know, but like you said before. Two fuck up’s just understand each other.”

“I didn’t say-”

“Yeah. Yeah. Just let me handle this. You trust me, right?”

Cas made a face at that, not answering quickly enough before he said, “Just bring her home.”

“Gee. Thanks for the confidence, babe.”

Dean ran after Claire, forcing his way to her passenger side as she started to back up on the driveway.

“Thanks for waiting, kid. Where we going?” Dean buckled up just in time for Claire to slam the breaks. Unfortunately, he hit his head on the front dash because the damn seat was scooted forward, his knees were practically pressed against his chest, which made sense knowing a tiny Kaia would usually occupy the seat. “Ow.”

“You aren’t going anywhere. Get out.”

Dean ignored her scary and oddly familiar glare as he pushed the seat back so his legs could fit. “Oh, come on. My treat.”

She didn’t have time to argue because Cas walked out of the front door—his trust in him really was lacking—and Claire decided that dealing with Dean was much easier than having to talk to Cas again. But, of course, he would take that as a compliment.

Claire drove with loud rocker girl music vibrating the windows and didn’t stop until she finally parked outside some ice cream shop.

“I want a shake.” She sniffled, and Dean did his best to ignore her red blotchy eyes for her sake.

“Sure, kid.”

They drank their shakes and shared some fries while sitting on top of Claire’s ugly little red. Well, she sat, and he leaned, but either way, silence remained.

He didn’t want to pressure her to talk—she would probably lie if he did—but still, he wanted to ease the tension between Cas and her, salvage a relationship he knew was important to both of them, but he didn’t know where to start.

Maybe he could start with his own guilt.

“I’m sorry.” He cleared his throat as he felt the smooth ice cream start to turn to gum down his throat. He looked down at his shake, lifting the straw up and down to hear the gloppy sound while trying to figure out what to say to her.

She hummed, “‘bout what?”

“Not telling you. About Cas. What happened to him.” He sighed and looked back at her. “Sorry. I should have called, but I wasn’t—I was a mess. I couldn’t be there for you. I couldn’t even be there for Jack. I should have-”

“It’s okay.” She waved her hand up to stop him. “I-I get it. I mean, it’s not, but whatever.”

“So, are you gonna tell me why you’re mad?”

She rolled her eyes, once again the gesture was familiar, before slamming the shake on the hood and sliding off the car. She crossed her arms over her chest, looking so small as she kicked a pebble on the floor.

“He replaced me.”

Her voice was quiet. Almost like she didn’t want to admit it out loud.

“I know it’s stupid and-and I’m acting like a child, but…” She quickly sniffled again before running her hand through her hair nervously. Looking up to stare into the darkening sky, acting like everything was okay. “He’s not my Dad, but he’s the closest thing I have, and I just thought—I just thought that maybe he felt the same way.”

She shrugged, her lips pinching together as if trying to hold something back, before retaking control of her expression. A glare directed towards Dean replaced the lost child stare into the stars, but the lost child was still there.

“Kid…” Dean sighed, head scrambling for words.

“I’m not a kid.”

“You’ll always be a kid to me.”

Claire teased with a little smirk. She definitely learned this from Dean or Jody. “Whatever you say, old man.”

“Old—Claire.” She let out a breath of a laugh before rolling her eyes away from Dean. “I’m trying to be serious. Cas… he loves you. He-he loves you like you were his own.” She didn’t look at him, but he could see her face scrunch up, ready to argue. “He worries about you constantly, and Jack knows all about you because he won’t shut up about how awesome you are.”

“He says that? He says I’m awesome?”

“Well, awesome is my word, but you get the gist.” He turns to face her even though she doesn’t meet his gaze. “Cas may not be your Dad, but he loves you like a daughter. Sometimes—yeah, a lot of the time actually—he makes stupid decisions, but it’s cause he is trying his best. And he cares. That dumbass cares way too much about the damn world, but he’s also someone who would give up the whole world if it meant keeping you safe.”

“Stop making excuses for him!”

“Claire, you gotta believe me. He didn’t mean to hurt you.”

She finally turned to look at him. “But he did. He hurt me! He left me!”

“He left me too!” Dean raised his voice; it sounded broken to admit such a thing out loud. And to Claire of all people. He slumped down against the car again and looked at the ground to ignore her big blue eyes throwing sympathy glares his way. “He left me—more times than you know. And—and don’t tell anyone I told you this—but I…I was scared. Each goddamn time I’m scared that this may be it! That this time…this time he won’t come back to me.”

“But he did.” Her voice sounded so far away.

“Yeah. Had to work a little bit harder on my end, but I got him.” He reached over and patted her shoulder. “We got him back.”

Something in the way her eyes went cold and far away made his fight drain out. He didn’t know what else he could do or say, but he opened his arms just in time to have her fall against him. His face mushed into her curls while he hugged her tight into his chest.

“Were you mad at Cas?”

Dean thought about it for a second. “No. I mean, I was at first. That asshole got himself killed over and over again. Leaving me alone.”

“But you had Sam. Jack.”

“Yeah,” Dean pulled back and looked down at her. “Well, you had Jody. Kaia. Alex. Patience and even Donna. Made it any easier for you?”

“No.”

“No.” He chuckled while she hid her face from him, asking him to continue. “But I was mad at him. Real fucking pissed, actually. At him. At…at everyone. Sam and Jack didn’t even wanna be near me.” He tries to shake off those dark memories of screaming and feeling nothing but agonizing loneliness. “I just shut down and gave up on…a lot of things because he was gone. Couldn’t really see a point, you know?”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“I get why you’re mad, Claire. Trust me, I do, but he’s back now.”

“And I’m just supposed to forgive him? Did you just forgive him?”

Dean shrugged, looking back down at her sad baby blues. Hoping she would understand and that she won’t tease him about it later on. “I didn’t want to waste any time being mad at him. I love him too much.”

“Gross.” She pushed him away this time, tucking her hair behind her ear before smiling at him. It reminded him of Jack’s little shy smile. “But I-I think you’re right. Maybe I’m done wasting time.”

They drove back with the music luckily a little lower but Dean just watched Claire drive with a growing smile on his face. He’s gonna have to admit that Cas was right, two messed up people can really relate and help each other out.

When they walked into the house, Dean took Jody from marching over to Claire to lecture her. “Just wait,” he whispered to her, and luckily she listened to him. They both held their breath as Claire walked over to Cas—who looked like he had been sitting in that seat freaking out since they left—and asked if they could try talking outside again. He blinked up at her a few times before nodding, following her to the backyard again.

Everyone let out a sigh of relief when the glass door closed behind them.

“Dean.” He looked up towards his kid, who reached for him from Kaia’s arms on the couch. Dean quickly walked over to pick him up, pressing a kiss to his head while trying not to let guilt eat at him. “Is Dad okay?”

“Don’t worry, bud.” Dean watched Jack’s eyes that showed how much he has experienced, how much he understood. “He’ll be fine.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

On the drive back, Cas had a smile plastered across his face. They hadn’t had a chance to talk about what happened, considering Cas walked in, ready to introduce Jack to Claire. Then Cas spent the rest of the night watching his kids getting along, looking the happiest Dean had seen him in a really long time.

“So, what did you and Claire talk about?”

Cas hummed before looking up at Dean as if just remembering that he was there. “Oh. Um, she just made me promise her something.”

“And what’s that?”

“Same thing I promised you. Don’t get dead anymore.”

“Oh. Good. Keep that promise.”

“I’ll do my best.” Cas looked back at Jack before he leaned over and pressed a kiss on Dean’s cheek. “I have a lot to live for now. A family.”

A family. Yeah.

Dean took a peek at Jack with the mirror and then watched as Cas changed his phone background pic to one of Claire spinning Jack around in the living room.

They were a real family.

#shhhh we are gonna pretend it hasn't been months since i updated lol #4 months geez okay well have this #wormstachewrites #dadstiel #destiel #claire #baby!jack #dean #cas #jack #destiel fanfic

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