you win. try again?
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Thinking about the KaeyaJeanDiluc friendship where they grew up together and they were CLOSE & sure maybe Jean felt like Diluc & Kaeya were closer since they were brothers & sure maybe Kaeya felt like he had to keep secrets from the two of them bc they would never understand but they were like. A trio! A team!
& then Diluc’s 18th birthday comes around and everything goes to shit and Diluc LEAVES so they’re no longer KaeyaJeanDiluc but just Kaeya & Jean & in some ways Kaeya and Jean get closer because of it but there’s also a pronounced DISTANCE where Jean doesn’t know how to reach Kaeya anymore & Kaeya is even more determined not to tell Jean anything & they both lose themselves in their duties to Mondstadt while also missing Diluc and ALSO, despite everything, offering each other unconditional support
& then Diluc comes BACK & in addition to Kaeya & Jean there’s the shaky reestablishment of Jean & Diluc and Diluc & Kaeya but it’s not THE SAME. they’re no longer KaeyaJeanDiluc; Jean & Kaeya are knights and Diluc will never be a knight again & they all changed while Diluc was away & none of them know how to talk to each other anymore AND YET there’s still an undercurrent of trust!! Not fully, especially between Kaeya & Diluc, but Diluc still calls on Jean during the archon quest, trusting that she will keep their secrets even though as the acting grandmaster she should probably not. Jean says in her about Diluc voiceline that she understands why Diluc hates the knights & is working hard to make them an organization he can trust again. Kaeya covers for Diluc’s darknight hero escapades & fondly reminisces about their childhood in front of him. Diluc invited Kaeya to dinner at the winery & (afaik) never told anyone about Kaeya’s origins. Kaeya tells the traveler that they need to give Jean their full support and planned a birthday party for her. Jean left Kaeya in charge of Mondstadt when she went to the golden apple archipelago! On some level they recognize that their goals still align!! There’s still trust and love there but there’s also this gap between them that none of them know how to cross and I just!!!
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Ride 768: Doubashi attack!!
Pag 1
1: Orange....
“Less of a hero”? Ah!?
2: Nonsense!!
You've never been a hero to begin with!!
Pag 2
1: Ha..... Hakogaku!!
Even Hakogaku caught up!!
2: Thick.... thick.....
3: A man like this holds the strongest of powers!!
6: I'm thin compared to him!!
That's not true, Oosumi-kun!!
7: Senpai, is he strong?
The Hakogaku member who last year defeated Sohoku's Kaburagi in the first day's sprint is
Pag 3
1: him, Doubashi Masakiyo!!
Buah!!
Pag 4
2: Buah...
So in the end you've decided to run?
3: “Chicken”
Pag 5
1: We're passing by the sign the signals 5km until the sprint line!!
2: Hakone Academy.....!!
3: Ace sprinter, Doubashi!!
Ugh.....
6: We're at “5km left” until the sprint
7: There's not much left
Pag 6
1: It won't take more than “10 minutes”!!
2: So you've come, Doubashi!!
It's “san”!!
San!!
How many times have I told you!!
3: Again!!
Pag 7
1: You want to get revenge against me!!
2: That's how someone who won last year would speak, but you lost against me!!
3: Hahaha, are you being a sore loser?
I'm telling you you're the one who lost!!
4: Whatever, come at me!!
It's not whatever, what are you even thinkin when saying that!!
Are you that self confident
Pag 8
1: We'll definitely win!!
2: Interesting, buah!! I came here to humble you!!
4: Ugh....
He's different.....!! He's much more dangerous now that he's running rather than when I met him this morning in the tent!!
Pag 9
1: Hakone Academy's Doubashi!! He's so overwhelmingly intimidating!!
It's like the pressure of a huge raging bull that has its eyes on you!!
2: Just by looking at me he makes me feel like my hands and feet are restrained
Issa fought against someone like him last year!?
4: No!!
5: Calm down
Steady your breathing
6: Swallow your nerves, Danchiku Ryuuhou!!
Pag 10
1: He moved on his own!!
Everyone is so overpowered by Hakogaku that they're not moving!!
For me, on the contrary
2: It's a chance!!
Nagoya's Komao used the curve and jumped ahead
He plans on going ahead alone!!
Pag 11
3: The sprint line is 5km from here!!
Horse acceleration!!
I think I can aim for a breakaway victory!!
4: That guy has a reputation for running solo!!
Gallop!!
This is bad!!
5: Doubashi has an incredible pressure!? But isn't this kind of things
6: just fears that we create ourselves!?
7: I can keep going like this!!
Doubashi isn't worth fearing!!
Pag 13
1: Where are you going?
3: Uaaaaaaagh
Pag 14
1: I thought I was 200m ahead of him, and yet
2: I could have let you go freely, but if you keep wandering around in front of my eyes like that
3: I can't win comfortably!!
Wa-
Pag 15
1: Hakogaku's Doubashi accelerated in an instant and passed Nagoya!!
Gallop!!
2: Together with Sohoku!!
3: Ah!? “Sohoku”!? Tch!! He reacted at the same time as me...?
4: You're the only one who can react at the same speed as me in this leading pack
Orange!!
Pag 16
2: Chicken!!
Pag 17
2: Orange is still behind!?
3: Did he give an order to this guy?
4: And he still managed to keep up with my speed of reaction!?
6: What, this guy's eyes, this running
Pag 18
1: What happened, your expression has changed!!
So this guy wasn't a chicken!!
2: Sorry, Doubashi-san
We'll take this sprint
3: The two of us!!
Pag 19
1: Garuaagh
2: After stopping Nagoya down, Sohoku number 5 jumped out from there
3: and attacked again!!
Tch
4: Hahaha
I told you!!
Pag 20
1: “We'll definitely win”!!
2: Orange!!
Hahaha, what we're aiming for is to be
3: “Japan's number one”!!
4: I'll make you Japan number two!!
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just realized that the link and zelda weirdness levels are pretty much the same in botw and totk. Like link is canonically a little gremlin of a man running around with very little clothes, making weird weapons, and eating rocks, but zelda also tries to get link to eat a frog, and is basically a hyrulian iPad kid, obsessed with ancient hyrulian artifacts and history. weirdo 4 weirdo friendship/ship for sure
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I throw my hat into the "petnames ven would give to ic" ring for chat ; I think ven would call them "my comet" (or just "comet", but I think adding the 'my' gives it a better ring). I know Icarus is typically associated with the sun, and not the stars and night sky, but I do think comet fits. Comets, especially more famous ones, pass by the earth every 'really long time' and are simply a line of very bright light in the sky - that only lasts for a short period of time. While not a direct correlation, the light flash could very well be seen as Icarus' happiness - something often short lived, and not somthing that happens often, but something that is oh so bright when it does. Comets, when flyong across the sky, are also very pretty - which. I think that one is more self explanatory.
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which character ya wanna post about?
(invitation to go off)
ouuHGUHUGHHG ive been rotating this around for hours bc ive redirected myself like 5 times since u sent it but ithink i got it i got it this time. i wanna talk abt porccubus. ok gimme a minute gimme a minute
so like. i know theyre technically the same thing, across lobcorp/ruina, but i really really wanna dissect the weird contrast it has going on there. (though, isuppose, their "same"ness is kinda up in the air re:abnos, considering there was a librarian snippet abt child of the galaxy being more "vicious", but wwwwwweh [waves hands around])
so like. the thing about lobcorp porccubus is that its just. an odd fucking creature. like yeah obviously, but its about the way its perception seems to weave around it. its core themes, that of pleasure and euphoria, uncontainable and uncontrollable, would imply that its something impulsive, stimulation-seeking, something that is driven wholly by desire and would be difficult to pin down. however, the way that its logs and flavor text are written give off a much more... subdued vibe, for lack of better words to describe it.
it is the source of that elation, yes, but everything in the way it holds itself is so withdrawn. it simply floats there, yes, but there is little to no mention of it making any moves of its own (which, now that i recheck its info log, is also mentioned plaintext!) and its in-work flavor text seems to speak with the tone of someone Studying it, Speaking about it, rather than observations of its movements or descriptions of its mindset. its all very distant. speaking in third person to someone who is listening. ...right?
which is to say: whats wrong with this dog. its story implies direct exploitation yet it just… it Just. its some strange little animal. its not malevolent and trying to kill people for fun. but it also isnt all sad like petals plucked from a daisy. it just Is. it has almost the same sort of feel as some sort of object. and yet it is clearly alive. does it have a will? it must; as abnormalities Do. so what is it? it functions by its own rules and just kinda Goes Here. does it want? does it need?
porccubus itself acts more like a Service or Trade than an actual creature. you walk in and interact with it, and it knows what to do in response. game of trust - it does a little song and dance as is its nature, yet doesnt seem to desire much more.
which also brings me to the shackle-- the little necklace around its neck. it speaks about how it was chained up, for whatever reason, and yet nobody seems to have any idea why. and porccubus... just doesnt seem to mind it. never mentions it. its such a particular type of indifference. (i suppose another good question is what is it shackled to?) and even further still... what does it mean that the ego gift it grants Is that necklace?
lc!porccubus as a creature is laced with restraint. both in a literal sense, And in an internal sense. pleasure and euphoria, yet it is definitively restrained. it cannot reach out first. it does not act on its own, but rather waits for something else to reach out First. even when it breaches, it (according to what im reading,) simply... waits. waits for an approach. (you Must approach it. it has to be a Choice.) theres something very Aimless about it, mechanical almost. i cant really sum it up in any way other than That Is An Animal.
...which brings a very interesting contrast between It and its Ruina counterpart. in the library, its much more Jubilant. it speaks, for one, which is something i straight up didnt know it did for a while. the way that it presents itself outwardly is much more outspoken-- inviting, wanting someone to engage, trying to persuade that first step. it yearns! pet it! it wants to share what it has to give, but it still wants that hand of yours offered to it First. its happy! its happy! come be happy with it!! dance with it, play with it! its demeanor is so much more forward, more present... more conscious.
and crucially... that shackle is no longer tied about its neck. rather, it dangles loose from the end of its tail, almost like an accessory rather than something granted/given to it. does this represent the release of former ties? it certainly acts more free than it did before-- whatever was holding it back, is it gone now? is its shift in demeanor the jubilant frolicking of that which has never been able to soar? is this what allows its nature of wishing to share that elation to shine through? much like a dog chained to a stake, finally being set loose in an open field.
in an unspoken turn of events, porccubus seems to focus on Release. release of ties, release of inhibitions, release of that which had been holding you back. it wants nothing more than to give what it is experiencing to those which are weighed down by things that keep them unhappy. and yet, it does nothing to truly alleviate what those woes are, simply covering them up with a layer of unrelenting sweetness.
..............which of course, brings me to angela. yeah yall thought i could go an essay without her?? lol. lmao.
on the floor realization centered around her staunch desire to live, it almost seems to stick out like a sore thumb. with all of the withdrawn mourning and wishing that the rest of the phases share, pleasure is an odd slap in the face, almost. but... it really does make it hit that much harder-- Especially with that which was expanded upon above. the imagery of unshackling yourself from that which held you down, allowing yourself to feel things you never were able to-- never were Allowed to. is that not what she stands for, here?
its reaching towards an open door, trying to grasp to any amount of Living that you can reach-- you deserve that much, at least. at the Very least. you Have to be allowed something. but not only is it that desire, but its also the Ignorance. the understanding that no matter what you mask it with, all that baggage still remains. chasing those short, intense bursts of happiness-- everything else still continues to eat away at what's underneath. and yet, theres still a consciousness to that. even further than that, a commitment.
who cares what becomes of you because of this? this happiness-- this which you were never allowed to so much as dream of-- is right within your grasp. and to taste it for even the smallest of moments, the briefest amount of time-- that makes it worth it. it was all worth it. nothing matters more than this complete devotion to sensation. it doesnt matter if it tears you apart from the inside, this is what you were always looking for. this is what you deserve. and youll do anything to hold onto it.
in some odd way, it really is about rotting.
in conclusion,
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ouh... mm unicorn fabby?? ouh... and um? earth pony solaris? 🥺? and erm um maybe even dragon zor? hello can anyone hear me hello
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Made some matcha focaccia via Archie Cartwright's recipe :) pretty sure I fucked up the focaccia part but damn if it doesn’t have a great matcha flavor (my favorite !!) <33
ignoring my possibly terrible baking when it comes to bread (tastes good tho) Go listen to Fawx & Stallion by @224bbaker and support their season 2 crowdfund! wonderful podcast and such a delight to listen to <3
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What I feel for Alabaster is the same as what I feel for Percy and Nico.
I love them. But, before I give them even a scintilla of happiness, I have to subject them to the most excruciating pain I can possibly think of at the time of writing.
The plans I have for Hecate's son - how I plan to hurt him emotionally and scar his very being by making him face the ghosts of his past while dealing with things of the present... 🤌
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the fact that it's specifically stated that faulkner lied when he said no one else knew about the house is so funny to me because
a) im used to things specifically mentioned in writing coming back and the idea of carpenter being like "well i know a place we can crash at" and her and hayward walking into the cabin and seeing faulkner n rane just standing there is unquestionably hilarious but also
b) it means that faulkner had to have told her about his past at some point and that means that when he asked to be her brother she had fully acknowledged the fact that faulkner killed one of his brothers in a traumatic misunderstanding he's reconstructed in his mind as a good thing As Well As the fact that her last brother died in an act of religious self-sacrifice, and said yes. with her little caveat. just mentally grabbing him by the collar like "listen. i don't want you to kill yourself for your god. and i hope you don't want to kill me for your god. and if either happens i am going to kick your ass in hell when both of us get there"
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I've found that, when interacting with others (or myself), it's useful to consider the lessons I'd want to teach a growing child.
If a child makes a mistake, I wouldn't want them to feel shame. I wouldn't yell at them, humiliate them, or in any way indicate to them that their mistake is a reflection of their worth or of who they are as a person.
Instead, I'd want them to associate the process with love and joy. If they say something that hurts someone's feelings, or otherwise ostracizes someone in some way, I'd compassionately explain to them. Ideally, they'd walk away knowing why they said / did it in the first place, how to handle similar situations in the future, and would accept the consequences (e.g. if a friend no longer wanted to hang out with them).
While the consequences may sometimes be painful, I'd do my best to instill in them that mistakes are human and natural, and that the process of learning from these mistakes is an opportunity to improve connections with others and express love.
I have a tendency towards excessive guilt. Memories in which I've said / done something ignorant or hurtful are infused with this guilt and shame- but ideally, I'd feel a sense of love and peace, and perhaps happiness, when looking back on them. Because they were moments of growth, moments I learned how to be more compassionate (even if the actual learning came years later).
So I'll put this out into the void:
When you make a mistake, that is not a reflection of you as a person. It is a moment in time, a moment which was informed by your past experiences. Humans are not static labels, or monsters in an RPG game. We are social creatures who live and learn and react and grow and experience and love. Be gentle with yourself and move forward knowing you're doing so in accordance with your values.
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quick reminder that my blog is a safe space for people of all genders and that i support trans rights <3
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jjk chapter 254 spoilers under the cut !!
WHAT A FUN CHAPTER it was nice to see kusakabe get his moment….. even if it was short-lived :’3 HE’S FINEEEE GUYS DW look at this panel. look how sick it is. you think this is the kinda guy to go down like that??? kusakabe is a like a cockroach he could survive a nuclear bomb…. trust…..
but no i !!!!! loved. his thoughts abt yaga T_T how kusakabe really is just a decent guy once you get down to it. he owes yaga a debt but it’s less of a debt and more of a deep respect… he tells himself that yaga is dead so it doesn’t matter but he still imagines yaga’s sad expression and still latches on to what he would’ve wanted. he cares.
and i think this was also such a great moment :(( bc kusakaba has been running away from battle for. as long as we’ve known him LMAO but this is him taking on a more protective role towards the kids!! something akin to nanami and the importance he placed on adulthood. and it’s also so good when you remember kusakabe’s previous stance on yuji…. how he thought it was best for him to be executed. but deep down he cares!!
i’d have liked to see more interactions between him and miwa bc it’s obvious those two are especially close :(( and that makes a lot of sense because both are them are just. Nice. they’re kind people. miwa is just way less cynical. their banter is always so fun and i need my dosage of found family father/daughter moments so akutami BETTER supply me with more …. 😒😒😒
anyway i like kusakabe i think he’s nice :3
ALSO CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS PANEL HELLOOOOO????? I CRIED???????? THEY ALL LOOK SO GOODDDDD one of the most handsome gojo’s i’ve seen in a while….. his dimples and his smile :’3 and he thinks kusakabe is a nice guy!!!! do you think they ever explored each other’s bo/GUNSHOT
okok i think i’ve gotten all my thoughts out……. almost. BECAUSE LOOK WHO’S BACK ‼️‼️
MY MANNNNN MY GUY maybe now the fandom will stop sleeping on him smh……… he didn’t survive gojo fucking satoru and train yuuta in africa for this disrespect. miguel is probably the strongest sorcerer outside of japan he is a Problem and i believe in him!!!!! i’m also excited bc i think this means we might be getting more old characters back soon :3 i wanna see larue. and if we see larue we might see todou…. maybe even yuki….. (<- delusional) BUT most of all: if we get larue or even just miguel there’s the SLIGHTEST chance we might get some flashbacks of cult leader geto and if that happened i would forgive akutami for literally Everything <33333
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Hi! As someone who now kinda wants to check out Trigun because of the hype, do you recommend that I can start with Stampede? Or do I really need to watch the OG anime first to better understand/enjoy it? Thank you! 🙋🏻♀️
you can start with stampede! i'd say knowing the context of the original enhances the experience but isn't necessary to enjoy the show. I would consider stampede more viewer-friendly, especially for those of us who are used to modern storytelling conventions (the original suffers the consequences of general writing trends in anime at the time it was produced and of the fact that it was produced long before the manga was finished, so the story is somewhat disjointed and has a lot of filler which makes it REALLY hard to get into.) if you do end up liking stampede, however, I'd suggest trying out watching at least SOME of the original because it adds a lot of cool nuance and context to the story that stampede tells!
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was gonna reply respectfully to this comment but followed Bidoof's Law and realized yeah it's not worth it
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I played Season over the weekend, which if I had to condense "thematic meandering" into a videogame is probably what I would most closely end up with; but it was still a cozy chill time that targeted my very specific niche of robust cow petting mechanics. Followed by journaling the heck out of them.
I do think cute indies living and dying by their sincere desire to paint the human condition should never ever ever fall into the temptation of obtuse and nebulous worldbuilding that desperately needs to explain itself so it can function as an aesthetic blanket for their vignettes. Just keep it loose and metaphor-heavy, fellas.
Cause if you're not extremely, painfully specific about your intention with a story that centers ignorant tourism and historic preservation, you're gonna beef it, bud
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