#their whole exchange in this chapter made me laugh so much i took longer than necessary to translate that part lmao | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mountttmase · 2 months

Text

Winter Sun - Chapter 7

Note - the last chapter 🥺 from the bottom of my heart thank you all so much for all your kind words on this series. It’s been overwhelming seeing how involved you guys are, the last chapter especially and I hope this makes up for it. Feedback would be appreciated as usual and until next time, let’s enjoy our babies 🥺🩷

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 8k

Warnings - series will contain fluff, smut & angst

Masterlist

‘So I have a little favour to ask’ Carly sang down the phone to you and you couldn't deny the sound of her voice filled you with joy. You'd been home from Portugal for two weeks now and you’d missed being around her everyday. Your mood significantly dropping since you’d got back home but it wasn’t just the absence of your best friend in your life that was making you miserable.

Not a word had been exchanged between you and Mason since that night he left you in bed. Not a call or a text. Nothing. No sign of life from him at all and the longer it went on the more your heart broke.

‘Oh yeah, what’s up?’ You asked her, hoping it was nothing too much as you weren’t in the mood.

‘Welllll, Ben and I were hoping to host a little gathering at the weekend and I was hoping you’d come’ she asked sweetly but you could tell there was something else.

‘You know I will, so what’s the catch’

‘Fine’ she laughed. ‘We were hoping to make it a pizza making party, like do something a little different? Bens just got the new oven installed and wants to try it out’ she explained.

‘Let me guess, you want me to make the pizza dough?’

‘Well you are a professional baker’ she giggled. ‘Pleaseeee I’ll make sure I’ve got all your favourite toppings and I’ll get you a bottle of that fancy gin you like’

‘Oh yeah?’

‘I mean you’ll have to share it with me but of course’

‘It’s fine i’ll do it you’ laughed, thinking it would probably be a good idea to socialise again after keeping to yourself for a little while but there was a thought itching away in the back of your brain. ‘Hey, Carly. Who else is gonna be there?’

‘Oh the usuals, Dec, Lauren, Woody, Kayla’ she listed off and the omission of a certain someone’s name made you relax. ‘Bens also got a friend from home here and possibly a couple of the Chelsea boys might come. Oh and Mason too, he’s free that weekend’

‘Oh so quite a few then’ you breathed, your heart sinking as she finally listed his name off but you’d already agreed to go and couldn’t back out now no matter how much you wanted to.

You thought about it the whole afternoon though. It felt too soon to see him but you knew you’d have to get it over with eventually. It’s not like you didn’t want to talk to him, often finding yourself typing something out for him to message but you were too scared to hit send on anything as he was yet to make a move himself.

When you made it home, your concierge waved you over before handing you a parcel. You took it with a smile, the box being heavier than you first anticipated as it wasn’t overly big but you managed to get it upstairs and once you were in you tore into it. Unsure of what was inside until you’d taken all the bubble wrap off to reveal the hand decorated tip jar that Mason had painted for you. Your heart leaping at the memory of when he first showed you his design and you spent the next few minutes giving it a proper look over.

It was all still there, the pretty flowers and little cakes, the heart with gwens face in but what really made you melt was the detail on the bottom you missed. His initials, MM, in a little heart and you had to bite your bottom lip to hold your emotions in.

All you could think about was messaging him, just wanting to hear his voice but after how things were left you were still feeling unsure of yourself and if he’d want to talk so you resisted. Instead looking back at videos you’d taken of the pair of you on your week away, your favourite being the one from a pool day in the middle of the week where he was giving you a tutorial on how to dive into the pool. You could hear your voice over the speaker telling him there was no chance in hell you’d ever get in there and the sarcastic pout he gave you made you smile.

You managed to hold it together but as the days became closer to seeing him you could feel yourself freaking out. You decided to throw yourself into work and the night before you distracted yourself by making all the dough for the next day. Making way more than you needed to but it seemed to be your coping mechanism for the night so you didn’t think about looking back into his brown eyes again.

When you arrived at Bens the next night you were thankful that Woody and Kayla arrived at the same time and helped you carry everything inside and once in, you made the rounds and said hello to everyone. There were a few faces you didn’t recognise and when you were sat with Carly you watched a girl come from downstairs and lounge over the back of the sofa like it was her own.

You were constantly watching the door, waiting for a specific person to show and just like usual he turned up late so you were semi caught off guard.

You heard his voice before you turned to give him a once over and you hated the way your tummy sunk at the sight of him. The last time you’d seen him he was abandoning you in your bed as he made it clear you were nothing more than someone he wanted to fuck for the week. Now he was just Mason again and you weren’t sure you’d be able to differentiate between the two.

You couldn’t take your eyes off him though, watching him say hello to everyone before he got to the girl who’d come from upstairs and they both looked thrilled to see each other. Him wrapping his arms around her waist as she buried her face his neck and you had to turn away before you burst into tears.

Who was she? And why were they so cosy? You knew the pout on your face was visible and before you could stop yourself you were tugging on Carly’s arm.

‘Hey, Carly? who’s that girl?’

‘Who, Kenny?’ She asked but you could tell she wanted to roll her eyes a bit. ‘Ben invited her, they’re old friends and she’s here for the weekend’

‘Oh right… What’s she like?

‘She fine’ she shrugged but you knew there was more to the story. ‘I wish she wouldn’t lay all over the sofa like that though’ she laughed and even though it was in jest you knew she was serious. ‘I think Ben’s been trying to set her and Mason up for a while now but I’m not sure how well it’s working’ she told you and you felt your heart sink. You didn’t push her for anything else though and soon enough you felt a hand on your shoulder that was gone as soon as it came.

‘Ladies, how are we?’ Mason smirked, leaning over to give Carly a quick kiss on the cheek before looking down at you. ‘You alright?’

‘Good thanks, you?’ You asked, keeping still just in case he tried to kiss your cheek too but he didn’t move a muscle. Looking down at you with a blank expression and you hated not being able to read him.

‘Yeah not bad. It’s good to see you’

‘You too’ you whispered. Not sure how good it was to see him right now and his standoffishness was making your heart shatter.

Mason was about to say something else when the sound of his name being called across the room startled you both. Looking to see Kenny waving him over and he gave you a sympathetic smile before leaving you alone.

You couldn’t lie, his apparent coldness hurt and you had to turn away from Carly so as not to let it show how upset you were. The fact that he couldn’t even seem to touch you in some way for more than a second made you feel rubbish and you knew you’d be in for a long night which was only made worse by the fact Mason and Kenny seemed to know each other and Ben was trying to set them up. You felt him slipping through your fingers even more and you had to give yourself a mini pep talk to carry on.

Not wanting to be a party pooper you put on your brave face and went to sit with Kayla and Woody. Catching up with everything they’d been up to and reliving your favourite holiday moments before Dec, Lauren and a few others joined you. Dec giving you a sympathetic smile but you just shrugged your shoulders. Not wanting to speak about any of it.

You could see Mason out of the corner of your eye, standing with Kenny as they chatted just the two of them and you wondered why he never came to join you until Carly called you into the kitchen and they finally joined everyone else. Realising you must have been the reason he didn't want to sit with everyone and you felt your eyes sting.

You kept away from him on purpose after that, not wanting to keep him away from his friends so you stuck into helping Carly in the kitchen until she got hot and said she wanted to go and change. Leaving you on your own to finish up cutting the pizza toppings.

‘Sorry, y/n’ you suddenly heard behind you, the sound of Mason's voice making you jump but when you turned to face him, he was standing as far away from you as he could get. ‘Shit sorry, I didn’t mean to make you jump. I was just wondering if you could grab me a glass?’ He asked quietly. Head nodding to the cupboard above your head so with a quick nod you pulled one out and handed it to him.

Your fingers brushed, just for a second, but when you looked up he was looking down still. Unable to meet your eyes so you turned back around to continue chopping.

You heard him move, thinking he would be leaving but when you felt him next to you your heart gave a thud. Carrying on chopping as he faced inwards towards the kitchen but you were waiting for him to speak first.

‘Sorry we haven’t spoken much lately, I’ve just had a lot on’ he told you quietly and you knew it was the worst excuse in the world from him. The way he didn’t care enough to be honest with you made you feel sick and you had no idea how to respond

‘S’fine’ you shrugged, eyes down as you bit the inside of your cheek.

‘No it’s not. I know I just left and that wasn't cool’

‘Its fine’

‘Y/n-‘

‘Mase?’ Ben suddenly called, head popping into the kitchen and his eyes lit up at the sight of him. ‘Ahh there you are. We’re playing Pictionary and Kenny needs a partner. You coming?’

Mason didn’t respond, his eyes flashing down to you first but you just gave him a forced smile.

‘It’s fine, go’

‘Y/n-‘

‘Y/n, you wanna come join? I’m sure we can find you someone’ Ben interjected, cutting Mason off thankfully but you just shook your head.

‘No thanks, I’ve got some stuff to finish in here’ you told Ben before looking back up into Mason's soft eyes. An unreadable expression behind them but you knew you couldn’t look at him for too long. ‘Go on, I won’t get finished otherwise’

‘You sure?’ He asked but you just sent him a nod back. Looking back down to what you were chopping before you felt him sigh and push himself up to leave. The feel of his hand on your waist making you freeze as you felt him press a fleeting kiss to the crown of your head before walking out the door to leave you on your own. Your eyes filled up immediately but you blinked the tears away and took a deep breath in to steady yourself.

He was so confusing and truth be told, you couldn’t face watching Mason with her so you kept yourself out of the way on purpose. Making up jobs in the kitchen and setting everything out for everyone else so that when Carly came back everything was good to go and it was worth it to see the smile on her face.

You let everyone else make their pizzas first, helping Woody out a little bit as he seemed to have no idea what he was doing but you didn’t dare look in Masons direction as Kenny was half draped over him. Soon enough the kitchen was clearing as people took theirs out to the new pizza oven to be cooked and you felt like you were able to take a breath.

After everything that had happened tonight you weren’t very hungry but now everyone had left you could make yours in peace and you were almost done when you felt a presence beside you and you knew who it was immediately

‘You still going?’ Mason asked, taking a seat beside you as you popped the last of your toppings on

‘I’m almost done, I want it to be perfect’ you told him quietly ‘I take pizza very seriously’

‘Well yours looks way better than mine’ he huffed and you sent him a small smile. ‘Are we okay?’ He asked carefully, his voice small and scared almost and when you finally made eye contact with him you saw how sad he looked.

‘Why wouldn’t we be?’

‘You just seem… quiet’

‘Long day’ you shrugged, gulping back your emotions but before you could say anything else you heard people start to filter back inside. ‘Go on, yours is probably done. I’ll just cook mine and be in’

He didn’t reply, just stood up with a sigh as you were already making your way outside where now only Ben and Carly were. You told them you were fine to finish up if they wanted to go inside and you were left with just your thoughts.

You were being miserable and you knew you were and you knew you had to snap out of it. You were the one who caught feelings, clearly he hadn’t so this was a you issue and if you didn’t fix up you were risking ruining the whole friendship group.

Before any of this Mason was a friend and the friendship came first. There was no point dwelling on what had happened and the fact that nothing probably ever would again but you missed being civil with him more than anything so after a quick pep talk you told yourself you’d make an effort with him to be normal. You’d leave the past in the past and move on so you could have your friend back as that was the most important thing. Even if that meant watching him fawn over someone else.

These things don’t work out like you want them too sometimes and that’s okay. But your mood wasn’t and after the realisation hit you, you made sure you’d be cherpier when you went back inside.

You felt lighter as you made your way back in, stopping in the kitchen to cut your pizza up and as if by magic Mason appeared. Walking over to the fridge to grab a drink before standing opposite you.

‘I came to check up on your masterpiece’ he smiled sweetly but he seemed taken aback as you looked back at him with a bright smile.

‘Oh yeah? What do you think’ you asked, showing it to him proudly with a wide smile and your sudden change of demeanour had him looking at you bewildered but he soon mirrored your expression and smiled back at you widely.

‘I think, I probably should have asked you to make mine’ he laughed, eyes wide as he looked over your food and you figured this would be a good time to give him an olive branch and let him know everything was okay.

‘Here, why don’t you take this bit’ you told him, popping a slice on his plate and the rosy blush that took over his cheeks made you smile.

‘No I-I couldn’t’ he stuttered, looking at you like he was in shock but you nodded at him encouragingly.

‘Please? I’ll never finish it all. I want you to have some’ you told him, placing your hand on his arm and his eyes flashed to where you were touching him before looking at you with a soft smile.

‘Thank you’ he whispered but before anything else could be said, Carly was calling you over to sit with her.

‘I’m gonna go eat, but I’ll see you in a bit, yeah?’

‘Okay’ he breathed, a huge smile on his face as he looked at you and you hated the fact that all you wanted to do was kiss him but with one last smile you let him go and took your seat next to Carly.

You sat and listened to everyone talking, chipping in when you needed to but your eyes were on Mason and Kenny, hating the way she looked at him and even worse the way he was looking at her. You told yourself outside you’d have to get used to it but it was going to take more than one evening to do that.

You ignored it though until you couldn’t, watching them discuss the pizza on his plate before she picked up the slice you’d given him from yours and take a massive bite from it.

You were filled with rage instantly. That slice was meant for him, a peace offering of sorts to let him know that the pair of you would be okay and he’d just handed it over to his new play thing like it was nothing.

Your appetite was gone in an instant so you let Carly know you were quickly running to the loo so you could sort yourself out but memories of you and Mason getting physical on this very counter made your blood boil and you just wanted to go home.

Everywhere you looked you could see him and you knew you couldn’t stick around much longer.

Everyone had disbursed by the time you got back downstairs but you found Carly as quickly as you could so you could say goodbye before slipping out.

‘I don’t wanna cause a fuss, I’ll just go it’s fine’ you told her with a weak smile. ‘It’s been a long day and I just don’t feel great’

‘Oh no’ she pouted, pulling you into her body for a hug and you had to bite your lip so you didn’t cry. ‘You sure you’re alright?’

‘I’m fine. I’m just gonna head out before anyone sees. Just tell them I don’t feel good if anyone asks’ you told her and even though she was pouting at you tried not to let it bother you too much as you hated upsetting her and if you carried on seeing how sad she was you’d end up staying.

You’d almost made it out the door when a voice you didn’t recognise called your name and you turned to see Kenny smiling at you sweetly.

‘Hey, I don't believe we’ve met. I’m Kenny, you’re y/n right?’

‘Uh yeah, that’s me’

‘I thought so, I recognised you from everyone’s holiday pictures. I was so jealous but I’m so happy my spot wasn’t wasted’ she smiled but her words confused you.

‘What do you mean, your spot?’

‘Oh Mason didn't tell you?’ She asked, brows raising in shock like she couldn’t believe you didn’t know but you could tell she was about to take some satisfaction in filling you in. ‘I was meant to go with him originally but like a week before I had a really important job come up and I had to back out. I told Mason to find someone else to take and he mentioned you guys were friends. You know what Masons like he probably didn’t want to say anything and upset you’

Her words sliced through you, gaping holes left in your chest at the idea of being just an afterthought for Mason. Second choice, just like normal. You felt like you couldn’t take in a proper breath and you were hoping she didn’t notice how her words were tearing to pieces but even if she did you weren’t sure she would have cared. ‘Don’t worry though, he’s promised me a solo trip just the two of us soon to make up for it’ she laughed before her eyes were back on you. ‘You're leaving so soon?’

‘Yeah I’m not feeling great, I'm just gonna head home’ you said quietly, eyes on the floor so she couldn’t see the pain in them and you stuffed yourself into your coat so you could leave.

‘Oh okay, well hopefully see you around’ she told you sweetly but all you could do was nod before rushing out of the door.

You could barely focus as you drove home. Feeling even more used now that you knew you were his back up. Probably only sleeping with you as you were all he had to choose from and you felt even dirtier than before.

You’d really let yourself believe you meant a little something to him but you couldn’t stand thinking about him anymore. Even if you were only friends you thought he would have treated you with a bit more respect than this.

You were even more emotional when you finally got to the safety of your flat. Tears filling your eyes but you resisted the urge to let them escape. Jumping in the shower before changing into a comfy pair of pjs so you could get ready for bed and cry your little heart out but fate wasn’t on your side tonight.

You thought about ignoring the knock on your door, but it was late so you knew it wasn’t random. Opening up the door with a huff to reveal the last person you wanted to see and the sight of him raised your blood pressure.

‘Mason, what do you want?’ You asked with furrowed brows and you knew you looked pissed from the way he was looking back at you.

‘Charming’ he laughed, but you didn’t react. Watching his face drop a little bit but he carried on. ‘Carly said you weren’t feeling too well I was just coming to check on you’

‘There’s no need, I’m fine’ you told him bluntly but just like usual Mason was giving up without a fight.

‘Can I come in then?’

‘Where’s Kenny’ you questioned, eyebrow raised but he looked even more confused at this.

‘How should I know?’ He scoffed, looking at you like you’d lost your mind and you realised you couldn't send him away no matter how much you wanted to. Hoping he’d see you weren’t in the mood for visitors and leave but this was Mason you were talking about and as soon as you moved aside to let him in you wished you hadn’t of.

He walked through your flat, making his way to the living room where he perched himself on the arm of the sofa so he could face you as you stood far away from him in the doorway. Hands behind your back as he played with his in his lap, both in silence for a beat until he looked up at you with his big eyes and you nearly lost it.

‘Are you gonna tell me what’s really wrong? Cause you look fine’ he told you and you felt your anger rise up in your throat.

‘Oh and you’re the authority on who’s sick then are you? Sorry I didn't realise I had to meet your standards to pass. What do you want me to do, cough up a lung? Would you believe me then?’

‘What the hells gotten into you?’ He laughed, a look of disbelief on his face and you knew you had to tone it down a little bit.

‘Nothing’ you huffed, eyes on the floor so he couldn't read you but you saw him shuffle about uncomfortably.

‘Well it has. Look I know things have been a little weird since Portugal but I’m only here for a few days and I…’

‘And what?’

‘I miss you’ he whispered. You heart breaking at the sound of his voice but you knew you had to stay firm. ‘Things aren’t the same as they used to be. What happened to the contract? Friendship comes first and all that shit? You can barely look at me now’ he told you, unable to hide the hurt in his voice but you were too upset to let it affect you. ‘Last time we spoke at Ben's things seemed better and now you’ve gone all cold again’

‘I said already, I don’t feel well’

‘You don’t expect me to believe that’

‘Believe what you want’ you mumbled and the sigh that he let out almost broke your heart.

‘I hate all this, being off with each other and stuff. Why can’t we just go back to how it was?’

‘Cause I fucking like you, you idiot!’ you suddenly exploded, silencing him immediately as he stared at you in shock and you knew you needed to take it down a peg. ‘I like you’ you told him, your voice sounding vulnerable and small as your eyes fell to the floor. ‘I know about the contract and I remember the rules but I like you. And I’ve been trying to make it stop but I can’t and then you shared my pizza that I gave you with some random girl I’ve never seen before right in front of me’

‘It’s just pizza, Muffin’ he said quietly, trying to hide the smile on his face but you saw it clear as day. He hadn’t called you Muffin since the second to last day in Portugal, the sound making your knees weak and your eyes water but you were determined not to show him what he was doing to you.

‘It’s the principle’ you huffed shakily, wanting him to understand how insignificant he’d made you feel and by the way his eyes dropped you think he got the picture. ‘It hurt, Mase’

‘I didn’t mean to hurt you’ he told you softly, standing up to be closer to you and when he reached for your hand you let him take it. ‘That’s the last thing I’d want to do. Truth is I never actually gave it to her, she picked it up off my plate before I could say anything. I was actually pretty pissed cause I wanted to eat it, like I’d saved it till last on purpose and I knew I couldn’t ask you for another bit’ he laughed, trying to make you smile and you almost conceded. ‘There’s something else though, isn’t there’

‘What do you mean?’

‘It’s not just the pizza you’re upset about. Something else is wrong’ he stated and you froze.

What did he expect you to say?

You’d admitted you liked him and even though he hadn’t said it back he also hadn't shot you down. If anything he looked lighter from your confession and you figured you had nothing left to lose so you decided to be honest.

‘That girl.. the one who stole my pizza’

‘Kenny?’

‘Who is she?’ You whispered. Your voice sounding scared like you might not like the answer but from the way Mason was looking at you you felt yourself settling down.

‘A friend of Bens from back home. I didn’t meet her that long ago but he introduced us cause she lives in Manchester now’ he explained and you hated the fact she lived so close to him.

‘Oh, so you haven’t known her long?’

‘Not really. Why?’ He asked and even though it was petty you just shrugged your shoulders. ‘Hey come on. What happened?’ He asked, pulling you back towards the arm of the sofa and in between his legs so he could hold your waist but you kept your arms crossed in front of you. ‘Please tell me, Muffin. I can’t help if I don’t know’

‘When you told me you’d paid for my part of the holiday already and were waiting to convince me, were you telling the truth?’ You asked quietly, not wanting to look him in the eyes so you focused on his shoulder instead but you could see from the corner of your eye the confused look on his face.

‘Of course I was. Why? Did someone say something different?’

‘She told me that space was booked for her. That you’d invited her first but a job came up and she couldn’t go so that’s why you never asked me sooner cause it never really was for me. I was just back up but you didn’t want to upset me’

‘First of all, that’s bullshit. It was always meant for you and I’ve got the texts to prove it’ he told you, reaching for his phone to prove his point but you felt a little silly now.

‘Mase it’s fine-‘

‘No, I wanna show you. I don’t want you to think that when it wasn’t that at all’ he told you, his voice hard but you knew his frustrations weren’t aimed at you.

‘See, it was always for you’ he told you gently, your heart sinking at the fact you’d believed her so easily.

‘Why did she say that to me then?’

‘Cause she’s probably annoyed you ended up going’ he laughed. ‘Look, I’ll admit I took her out on a date a few weeks before I came down that weekend we… you know for the first time’ he explained. ‘Nothing special, just dinner and some drinks and she asked about any plans over the winter break and this came up. I think Ben must have mentioned it already and she told me she was up for it if your space was available and I said I’d let her know. Obviously it wasn’t and she got a bit jealous I guess and wanted to make you feel a bit shit about it’

‘Well mission accomplished’ you laughed, uncrossing your arms so you didn’t look so defensive but you were still a little uncomfortable so you just played with your fingers and he let out a gentle sigh.

‘Muffin, who are we trying to kid?’ He asked you softly, your eyes on his face immediately and the soft look on his face made your knees weak.

‘What do you mean?’

‘I mean, there’s clearly something here. Why are we trying so hard to fight it?’ He asked quietly and you felt your breath catch in the back of your throat. ‘Did you mean what you said earlier?’

‘Depends, what did I say?’ You laughed and he squeezed your hips softly.

‘When you said you liked me, did you mean it?’ He questioned, wanting an answer but you weren’t ready to speak so you just nodded, hoping that would be enough for him. ‘Well, I like you too. A lot in fact, more than I ever intended to. And I know it’s against the rules but fuck all that’ he laughed. ‘Why are we fighting so hard against what we want?’

‘I’m not sure’ you whispered, eyes finally meeting his and you smiled at him but his last words to you in Portugal were still ringing in your ears. ‘I guess after what you said on our last night away and how you were for that whole day, I just didn’t think you’d ever want anything more from me. You made me feel like crap, like you got what you wanted and you were done’

You watched the hurt flash over his features, reliving his words to you from that night and even though he hadn’t said a lot, he knew his words along with his actions had really upset you.

‘I didn’t say any of that stuff cause I believed it’ he sighed. ‘You don’t know how many times that night I came back to your door ready to knock it down and tell you how I was feeling. Why do you think I left that night like I was going out of my mind and I was crying like a baby’ he laughed but your heart broke at the sound of his confession. ‘I was so caught up in you and then reality hit that I probably can’t give you what you want. What you deserve’

‘What do you mean?’ You asked quietly, hands finally resting on his chest as you reached out to touch him and he smiled and pulled you in closer at the gesture.

‘You’re this big scary boss lady who’s got so much going for her, you know? Like you’ve got your whole little empire and that’s your world. I thought being with me would be too much for you or something. I’m so far away now and I can’t give you the time you deserve. Maybe I’m not making that much sense’

‘You’re really not’ you laughed, thinking he looked adorable when he rambled but you knew he wanted to carry on so you let him.

‘I’m so proud of you and everything you are and everything that you have. I guess I don’t want to get in the way of that’

‘What if I want you in the way?’ You asked and he looked up at you hopefully. Flashing you your favourite smile that you hadn’t seen in what felt like a lifetime and you had to really hold back to not kiss him. ‘Yes I’m busy and yes I have a lot of stuff to do but do you remember what you said to me on the stairs at Ben's house before we went away?’

‘I said a lot of stuff’ he winked, clearly reliving all the ways he’d tried to woo you on the stairs and you blushed as you remembered his words.

‘You did’ you laughed, nodding your head as you moved your hands to his shoulders. ‘But you said everyone’s got time, you just have to make it. And you Mason, I’d be more than willing to make time for you’

‘Yeah?’ he questioned with a laugh and you nodded reassuring him before his face fell. ‘I’m really sorry. I feel like I’ve acted like such a brat’

‘Did I do something?’ You whispered, wanting to get to the bottom of what really happened. ‘I feel like that last day it went all wrong. You just left without a word and didn’t even try to make it right’

‘I know, I was trying to run away I think. I knew I pushed it too far that night before and we broke all the rules but I was past the point of caring. All I wanted was to wake up next to you that morning, kiss you and tell you how I really felt. But you’d gone and then I saw you in the pool with Chilly and it drove me mad’

‘He was teaching me how to swim, Mase’

‘I know’ he laughed, looking like he realised how silly he sounded but you knew there was more to it. ‘But you told me you wouldn’t ever get in the pool for me and after we’d had the day before and it was so perfect, I could feel myself caring more than I knew I should. It fucking hurt that you didn’t ask me and I know it sounds stupid cause it is so I thought it was best to shut it down. I should of handled it differently though I’m sorry’

‘I’m sorry Mase, I didn’t even think. I never meant to make you feel like that’

‘I know you didn’t’ he smiled, pulling you in closer so that your bodies were flush against each other now. ‘There’s nothing to be sorry for I was just jealous’

‘Is that why you spoke to those girls that night?’

‘That looked worse than it was, but I get it didn’t look great so I’m sorry’ he whispered, looking at you with eyes full of guilt but you just nodded. ‘The guys were going in at me at the bar about you and asking why I hadn’t spoken to any other girls that week and then she practically crashed into me. She was as drunk as anything but she told me she was a fan so I spoke to her hoping the boys would leave me alone. She was falling all over me though and I could barely hear her so I tried to steady her and let her know I’d walk her back to her table but you with your incredible timing popped up at the worst possible moment’ he laughed. ‘But I walked her back and then her friends were asking me loads of questions about United so I just sat with them for a bit to get the others off my back but as soon as Dec told me you were out of it I left them’

‘I know’ you whispered, silently relieved that things weren’t as they seemed. ‘Thank you for looking after me’

‘You don’t have to thank me, all I care about is you being okay and I get it didn’t seem like that sometimes’ he sighed. ‘That whole day I knew it was gonna be my last with you and I was miserable. Didn’t wanna do anything or speak to anyone, like once I was over my strop that morning I just wanted to hold you cause I knew I wouldn’t be allowed to the next day. I was terrified of talking to you about anything cause I knew I’d get upset so I just didn’t and then when we went out I thought if I wasn’t around you then I could push it all down and move on and maybe by the time we saw each other again it’d be alright but as soon as I saw you earlier I knew I’d messed up. I don't think I can be just friends with you now Muffin, it’s not gonna work. Not when I know I want so much more from you’

‘Really?’ You breathed, your bottom lip wobbling as his worlds sunk in.

‘Promise. That holiday just proved to me I’d do absolutely anything for you and these last few weeks without you have been hell’ he confessed. ‘I’ve missed you. So much’ he whispered, kissing your cheek and you blushed at his words. ‘Missed holding you and kissing you and pretending that you’re mine. I’m fed up with pretending though like I’ve had enough of it’

‘Me too’ you laughed, thinking his stroppy expression was adorable but your smile made him smile too.

‘So we’re gonna do this then?’ He asked hopefully and you knew you couldn’t deny him.

‘I think so’ you nodded, holding him close as you squeezed each other tightly. ‘I have no idea how or anything but we can sort it out. I just know I want you’

‘We’ll find a way, I’d do anything to make this work’ he assured you and you couldn’t take it anymore. Leaning forward to finally kiss him like you’d wanted to for the longest time and he reciprocated straight away. Lightly brushing his lips against yours as the pair of you tried to not smile but it was too difficult. Giggling onto each other's lips before you pulled away and you just hoped you mirrored the joy that was so plainly written over Mason's face.

‘How I’ve gone that long without kissing you I’ll never know’ he told you, pressing another heavy kiss to your lips. ‘How about we start a Sugar Mumma franchise in Manchester?’ He teased, eyebrows wiggling to let you know he was only half joking but you quite liked the sound of it.

‘I mean I’m always looking for opportunities to expand’ you laughed, pulling back to look into his eyes and they were the happiest you’d seen him all evening and knowing it was because of you made you blush.

‘You gonna let me be your muffin man, then?’ He joked, referencing the fact he always asked if you had found your Mr. Muffin but little did he know he’d been your muffin man all along.

You quickly escaped from his arms so you could grab your phone, wanting to show him something he’d never seen before and when you returned he sat you down in his lap with his arms crossed over your front before he kissed your neck softly.

‘I wanna show you something’ you laughed, quickly opening up your messages to reveal to him the name you had him under in your contacts and you watched his face as the realisation hit him before he looked at you softly. ‘You’ve always been my muffin man’

‘How long has it been like that?’ He laughed, squeezing you a little tighter as he kissed your cheek but you didn’t have time to answer him as a notification from Dec came through and you were left confused.

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ You questioned aloud. Looking up at Mason but you could tell from his shy face that he knew what was going on. ‘Mase?’

‘Well I realised pretty quickly you’d gone but I didn’t know what to do so I waited until Woody asked and when Carly said you didn’t feel well I knew something was off’ he shrugged. ‘You were fine before we ate so I went into another room to try and call you but Dec found me before I got a chance and when I told him what I was doing he gave me a bit of a talking to’ he gulped, his face going as red as you’d ever seen it and you weren’t sure if you wanted to hear anymore. ‘Don’t be upset with him but he told me about when you spoke after I’d left. I don't think he told me everything but I got the main parts and I felt like such a knob. He told me he’d bang our heads together if I didn’t come over and make things right so I left and I guess he thinks if we’ve worked it out then it’s all down to him’

‘Well he’s been suspicious from the start I guess’ you shrugged. ‘You know he told me he’d love for you to have someone like me? That I could be just what you need’

‘I mean he’s not wrong but when did he say that?’

‘Day of the boat trip, when we got back from dinner and you had a word with him. I think he only kept teasing cause he was trying to push us together’

‘Well he should have saved himself the bother, I’ve been yours for a while’ he winked and you felt yourself cuddle into him as you blushed.

‘Really?’

‘Of course, had me hooked since that first chocolate muffin’ he confessed. ‘I like you a lot and I didn’t want you to think I’m like what everyone else sees me as. I love having you in my life and I love having you as a friend but lately I couldn’t help but see you as more’ he told you truthfully. ‘And then you showed up at my birthday looking hot as hell like you’re enough to drive anyone insane’ he teased and his words made you giggle as you tried to hide your face in your hands.

‘I never thought you’d see me as more than a friend’ you laughed, holding him tighter as he peppered kisses to your cheek. ‘And I love being your friend but I’ve always had a soft spot for you’

‘We can still be friends’ he told you softly. Kissing your cheek gently before smiling down at you. ‘Well just be extra special friends who kiss and get to see each other naked’ he teased and you rolled your eyes playfully. ‘Plus now you're my girl you get a prime face time slot’

‘Are you ever serious?’ You laughed, turning in his arms so you could pull him into a hug and you shivered at the way he tucked himself into your neck.

‘I’m serious about you’ he whispered into your skin and you couldn’t contain your smile but you knew in the back of your mind this wouldn’t be as simple as you wanted it to be. ‘What’s wrong, muffin?’

You gave him a sad smile, your heart thumping at how he was able to read you so easily before shrugging lightly. ‘Just worrying’

‘Well don’t, there’s nothing to worry about’

‘Well there is. What’s everyone gonna say? I know Carly will be upset I kept this from her’

‘Wanna know a secret?’ He whispered, his voice sounding playful and you looked up at him in confusion. ‘I think she knows’

‘How? Did you say something?’

‘Of course not, but just like my best friend figured it out I think yours has too. Probably knew before we knew ourselves. Remember when we were at the airport and you made your big entrance?’ He teased, making you hide your face in embarrassment but he was quick to pull your hands apart. ‘She came over to speak to me, mainly just to say thank you for the surprise but she asked me if something was going on between us as she knew you always keep your cards close to your chest’

‘Well now I feel even worse’

‘You don’t have to, she knows you’ll tell her when you’re ready’ he reassured you. Kissing you softly before squeezing your hip. ‘Are you working tomorrow?’

‘Gave myself the day off’ you told him, shaking your head into his neck and you felt him squeeze you tighter.

‘Well I’m staying at Woodlands Park, treated myself to a suite but it’s a bit pointless on my own. Will you come and stay with me tonight?’

‘Really?’ You asked, excitement bubbling through you as you knew it was super fancy there and you’d always wanted to go but the fact you got to spend the night with Mason after so long was even more appealing. You pulled back to look at him, laughing as he gave your bum a cheeky pinch and he nodded at you shyly.

‘Of course, I don’t wanna go back there without you’ he whispered and you knew you didn’t want to leave him either. ‘I promise I’ll get you room service in the morning’ he laughed, trying to convince you further but you were already wanting to free yourself from his grip so you could grab your things.

‘Give me five minutes and I’ll be ready’ you laughed, reaching down so you could kiss him again quickly before sorting yourself out but he held you close to him so you couldn’t move. His face serious when you looked at him

‘Thank you, Muffin. I’ve honestly been miserable without you and I’m really glad we get to start again’ he told you truthfully. Your eyes stinging as you nodded back at him softly before he kissed your forehead. ‘We’ll do it the right way this time, yeah? No more secrets or ground rules or whatever else. We’ll just be honest with each other about our feelings and we’ll go from there okay?’

‘Okay’ you whispered, loving the way Mason made it sound so easy when you knew it probably wouldn’t be but you also knew there was no one else you wanted to try this hard with and when he lent forward to capture your lips again, you let him. Content being back in his arms and thankful you’d broken all your rules for him.

y/n

liked by masonmount, carlywlms_, declanrice and others

y/n My muffin man 🥹🩷

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masonmount all this time I’ve been muffin without you 😘

y/n you’re lucky you’re cute 😩

declanrice I called it (congrats)

y/n 🙄 (thanks)

carlywlms_ so happy for you 🩷

y/n love you 🩷 calling you right now

carlywlms_ you better 😉

okaylaaa oh she’s hard launching 😏

y/n were starting as we mean to go on 😌

benchilwell okay I did not see this coming but I love it

carlywlms_ well you must be the only one who didn’t Jesus Ben where have you been?

y/n yeah Ben, get with it

laurenfryer_ so it really was a couples holiday after all 🥹

y/n we just felt a bit left out

masonmount yeah it’s nothing serious, she’ll be done with me in a week

y/n cute he thinks I’m gonna give him a week

woody_ can you two just get married already? You make me sick

masonmount as joyous as ever woody

nadds__ well I can’t say I didn’t see this coming but I’m so happy for you 🥹

y/n thank you 🩷 I’m concerned as to why everyone could see it but us

masonmount love is blind, muffin. And you need you eyes tested 🤪

lukeshaw23 finally we can go on double dates now you don’t know how long I’ve waited

y/n ooooo yes please 🤭

masonmount not luke asking you out on a date before I did

kaihavertz29 okay I’m so out of the loop, can’t believe my boyfriend has a girlfriend

y/n how did I not know my boyfriend has a boyfriend

masonmount miss you bro ☹️

Tagged: @footiehoemcfc @prideofpd @yoursselo @chelseachilly @willow-writer-ivy @katharinanadiaa @mmountseb @carlottawllms @saltyheartnightmare @masonmtxo @harvestmount @chillymountsjess @treblebluesblog @pulisicsgirl @bluesswift @feelinglikeineedlotsofnaps

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epitomereally · 6 months

Text

Celestial Navigation by @sabrecmc

18 year old Omega!Tony finds himself Bonded to Captain Steve Rogers. He isn't happy about it until he is.

An absolutely gorgeous story of learning to love yourself, even when you feel like you don't fit in & that you grew up wrong. I'm so happy to have gotten to bind this mammoth work for Sabre & as a gift exchange for @mourningmountainsbindery (who bound me this beautiful copy of Astolat's Let the River Run—JUST LOOK AT THAT COVER!).

Also to anyone who has @ed me lately (looking at u, em @powerful-owl & tacky @tackytigerfic particularly) & I've been derelict in responding, here is WHY.

This has been the longest binding project I've undertaken, both in page count and in time. My original message to Sabre was on March 16th—can't decide if I want to use the laughing or crying emoji here—and the colophon says I made the book in April 2023 (which was when I started typesetting, maybe). I had been randomly perusing dying videos on Youtube in bed on a Saturday morning, as one does, and came across a video showing how to spiral tie-dye. I IMMEDIATELY had a design premonition of the full design for this fic as a two-volume set, planted into my brain wholesale by the binding gods. I learned many new techniques throughout the process (edge painting, edge trimming/sanding, tie-dying/dyepainting, embroidery, typesetting meta from tumblr which copy-pastes with the worst goddamn formatting in the world, kill me now). Overall, alternately extremely painful & wonderful, and I'm extremely proud of this set.

Design-wise, I went whole-hog with the scifi stars theme. Endpapers are recolored versions of the star charts from the Apollo 11 mission:

Title page & chapter titles are both rips in the galaxy:

Epigraphs both star-themed:

Some more glamor shots because I'm so proud 💕

8.6 lbs // 3.8 kgs worth of books (~3000 total pages) 🥰

Celestial Navigation is also INCREDIBLY popular, and Sabre has been incredibly generous answering asks on her tumblr + writing additional one-shots in the universe. There is also a veritable volume of fanart. I was so inspired by seeing @robins-egg-bindery copy of ********, with its appendix of fanart & meta, that I promptly copied them.

fanart redacted because lots of the artists are no longer active on tumblr but just know i am ECSTATIC about the amount of art in these books

Lastly, I love how @clovenhoofbindery includes their 'Illustrator mess' with their bind posts, as a behind-the-scenes look into the wild process of designing these books. I don't actually have an Illustrator mess for this book (the chapter titles & title page pretty much came in one take), but I do have a DYING MESS. It took me sososo many tries to figure out how to get the dye to look how I imagined in my head. I ended up 'dye painting' instead of tie-dying in the end, but my inbox is always open to chat hand-dying/tie-dying/dyepainting (or what I did differently between any of these attempts). Numbers are the dying attempt.

Last process shot: I hand-dyed variegated linen thread to match the colors of the bind, which ends up being incredibly difficult to see on the finished bind, but was super fun while I was sewing!

Materials:

Body font: Kepler

Title font: Compaq 1982

Chapter number font: aliens & cows

Endpapers: recolored versions of the star chart used by Michael Collins during the Apollo 11 mission (archived at The Smithsonian)

Bookcloth: dyed using Dharma Trading Procion Fiber-Reactive Dyes

Title page and chapter headers: designed in Photoshop using the Ultimate Space brush pack by jeffrettalyn on DeviantArt

Metallic embroidery thread: Cosmo Nishikiito thread

I would dye for this embroidery thread. It is LIGHT YEARS better than the classic metallic embroidery thread from DMC: much easier to work with & much more sparkly. Literally so eye-catching; it truly doesn't translate to photos.

Paint for edges: Daniel Smith watercolor tubes in Iridescent Sunstone and Prussian Blue

Note: these are GORGEOUS watercolors. The color is so saturated and strong and beautiful BUT I don't think I'd recommend watercolors for edge painting. They went on very differently depending on the grit of the sandpaper I used for the edges + they sometimes bled into the pages + they had to be set with fixative, which then stuck the pages together.

#blood sweat and TEARS into this bind #and now it is DONE my god #stony #stony fanart #celestial navigation #my fanbinding #posts i actually wrote

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l00na24 · 8 months

Text

I Got Your Six - Chapter 3

Warnings: Mentions of PTSD/ Drugs

Word Count: 8k

A/N: Just a little heads-up that some things will be a bit different than in the film. Frankie also doesn't have a baby in this fic.

This chapter was originally longer cause I went a little overboard (sorry not sorry 😁) so I had to divide it. It took me actually longer than I thought cause some parts were a bit hard to write at first but I hope it still turned out okay and you will like it! 🥰

2 days later, 2 PM, Florida, Tampa

A bell chimed above me when I entered the café Santiago wanted to meet me at.

The whole 2 days before, I had fought with myself if I should really go, if it wasn’t the biggest mistake I could make, to come even close to the deep wounds that hadn’t healed over time. Could I bring myself to dig even deeper in them?

The only convincing argument that persisted was this weird feeling I still had in my gut since I received his text. It was nothing good, whatever was to come, I knew that much. It never failed me till this day and I wasn’t about to start ignoring it now.

“Let me know how it went.” Colonel Sanders said to me when I visited him before I had left for the airport. He had seemed positive that I made the right decision. We would be about to see that shortly…

My three boys were a little different regarding this whole thing, being adamant to stay till my departure and being with me till the last second. Not wanting to let me go alone but they knew I had to. This was my battle to fight, not theirs.

“Show him that nobody messes with our wolf, okay?” Were Mick’s words goodbye, holding me to his six foot one large frame and wanting to go with me despite knowing he couldn’t. He was still not well with this but accepted my decision in the end.

“You’re not the only one here, you know?” Reminded him Luc from his left, shoving him to the side so he could hug me goodbye too.

“Gotta make sure to take care of our girl properly.” His friend countered and made a wink toward him.

“You’re so full of shit. I really don’t know how I made it through all these years with you.” Luc laughed with a shaking head and brought me closer.

“Remember that we’re always with you, alright? Even if we’re not there, Y/N.” The six foot tall man said while hugging me and caressing my arm softly.

“I’ll keep these two assholes here in check in the meantime.” He added a bit quieter with a laugh, pretending to whisper it to me but wanting his brothers to actually hear it.

“I heard that!” Sounded Mick’s voice loudly from behind us not a second after.

“That was his plan, pendejo.” Alex informed him from the right while he came over to also give me a hug before my departure.

“Watch your six, Y/N.” Giving me a kiss on the crown of my head and burying his head in my neck after, he mumbled his words into my skin. He joined our hands and rubbed it a few times soothingly to make sure I was ready to face my anxiety once again. Only this time without them for the very first time since I’ve been with the boys. Alex’ six foot two body was curled protectively around me, wanting to give me the most safest feeling possible for the 2 hour flight ahead of me. Hoping I’d get through it without any incidents.

“I will. You watch yours too.” I answered back, squeezing his hand a few times before letting go and pulling back, looking him in the eyes on the way.

“Promise. I’ll make sure Mick doesn’t do anything stupid while you’re gone.” He reassured me laughing.

“I heard that too!” The mentioned man shouted again, not caring about people giving him annoyed looks while walking by.

“I’ll see you boys soon.” Were my last words I exchanged with them before my flight got called out and I had to go. Looking one final time over my shoulder to see them waving with their hands before they were out of my sight.

So here I was, walking in the little café that actually looked quite nice. There were multiple tables with two to four chairs distributed in the room with some flowers in a vase and white tablecloths on them, some booths next to the pastel-colored walls too. Some framed pictures here and there to create a more friendly atmosphere. It felt like ages since I’ve been somewhere like this under “normal” circumstances. Always jumping from mission to mission without a break cause it was the only thing that kept me sane, helped me to block out my emotions and all thoughts in my fucked up mind that would bury me under a darkness I would never come out of again. Not alive.

A woman in probably her 20��s I assumed, with her brown hair in a ponytail, greeted me with a friendly smile when I walked by the counter, looking around the room, already on guard like always and on high alert to the unknown environment around me. I already hated being here. Alone with myself, not having my gear to protect me or a weapon besides my knife in the left pocket of my pants. Just to be safe. And not having my boys if something happened, the only ones that knew how to deal with it.

Just relax. Everything is fine. I told myself with every single step I took. Except it wasn’t.

Thankfully the café wasn’t too crowded right now and there were only a couple of people sitting at some tables, drinking or eating something. Three waiting in a line at the counter to probably buy something to-go. Everything looked like it was a normal day, people going after their routines, not caring about the things around them. But they should.

They didn’t know there was a killer amongst them right now, that wouldn’t hesitate to strike. Foolish idiots.

As my eyes continued scanning the room thoroughly, they landed on a person sitting in one of the booths more in the back of the café. It was only after our looks crossed that I stopped abruptly in my steps. His brown eyes with that familiar golden glow had already spotted and fixated me, not yet giving away any emotions behind them.

I felt like someone had stolen the air out of my lungs. Too stunned to see him really after all this time in person right in front of me again. He was still wearing his characteristically dark blue cap with the star on it, a jacket in the same color with a red shirt underneath, black pants and shoes. Santiago didn’t look any different than I remembered him. Besides the fact, that he must have shaven in the last days since his slight stubble was gone.

My first instinct that hit me right this moment was to run. Run away. Then everything else kicked in and I had to hold myself back to not loose it in front of all the people in here. I felt the memories threatening to rush back that I tried so desperately to erase without success. I couldn’t allow this. I wouldn’t. In a split second my walls were even higher up, not wanting him to see what reaction he had caused. Pushing all my emotions aside and taking in some air, I slowly continued my way toward him with an emotionless face. He wouldn’t get to know how I was feeling.

“I didn’t expect you to actually come.” His voice greeted me when I reached the booth he was sitting in, standing up in the process.

“Me neither.” I answered without any emotion, holding his gaze and sitting down across from him.

A moment long there was just silence between us, no one of us really knowing what to say and only looking at each other.

“I’m s-” Before he could say anything more, I rudely cut him off. Not wanting to hear whatever he was about to say.

“What do you want?” I asked coldly, crossing my arms and making it clear to him that I wasn’t happy about the whole situation.

“Straight to the point, hm?” He really had the audacity to laugh.

“You forced me to come down here despite knowing very well about my anxiety, so you better have a real good reason to suddenly decide to talk after 8 fucking years, Garcia.” He wasn’t getting the satisfaction of getting called by his nickname by me.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” His honest tone surprised me, also the softened look in his eyes he was giving me.

“Come to the point.” Deciding I couldn’t longer bear his look, I looked out the window next to me and waited for his next words.

Sighing, he put his arms on the table and leaned forward. He was smart enough to know that he would fall on deaf ears if he continued like this. Like always.

“I wanna get the old team back together.” Never having anticipated to hear anything close to this, my head whipped around immediately. Looking at him speechless and with wide eyes.

I was dreaming this, right? He… didn’t actually just say those words out loud?

“You- What…?!” I was sure my brain stopped working. Why would he say that? And how would he come up with something like that out of nowhere?

“I want to get all of us together again.” Santiago repeated his previous words calmy, giving me time to process what he had just dropped on me.

“No!” Was my immediate response that I shouted at him, getting the attention of the whole café that I completely ignored and jumped up from my seat, ready to leave as fast as possible.

“Y/N! Wait!” He also raised his voice and got up, trying to stop me.

I might have been okay with him talking about what happened in the past but getting all of us together again? Fuck no, that was the line I wasn’t going to cross. I’d rather die than seeing them again. Seeing him. I knew I had a bad feeling for a reason about this. To hell with making peace, I needed to get out of here before everything would get out of control.

“I knew it was a fucking mistake to come here!” I snarled at him, gritting my teeth and sending him a stone-cold look.

“Let me explain, please.” He pleaded and lowered his voice, taking a seat again.

I shouldn’t hear him out, I should just go, walk out of that door and pretend nothing had happened.

With a huff I closed my eyes for a moment and set back down too. Why was I listening to him?

“What is it?” I cut myself short, not making eye contact with him.

“A Recce.”

“A Recce?” Repeating his words, my thoughts began already racing. There must be more behind it than just a simple recce, he wouldn’t come to me with only this.

“Yes.”

“We both know it ain’t just a simple recce, Santiago. You’re not the guy that does things only halfway. So what is it really?” I snorted sarcastically, not believing his words and looking back at him.

“I wanna get Gabriel Martin Lorea.” He explained shortly after without hesitation, leaning forward on the table again and folding his hands. Knowing I saw right through him.

Lorea? How did he know that name? We had been surveillancing that guy’s activities for a few months now and never found out where he was hiding. Every bust the army made came up with nothing and every lead we followed led us to a dead end. And now Santiago Garcia, of all possible people should know where that piece of shit was? That couldn’t be a coincidence, no way.

“Lorea?! How did you get that name?” I asked with a mix of surprise and confusion in my voice, furrowing my eyebrows.

“I-” Right as he wanted to explain, the young woman from the counter earlier came to a stop at our table and we paused our conversation for the moment.

“Hello, can I bring you anything?” She asked, still smiling and giving Santiago probably the sweetest look she could. Of course she needed to do that.

“No. Can you fuck off now?” I shot at her, feeling anger already rushing up inside of me and wanting to rip that look off of her face. How dare she interrupt us like that? She better get hella fast as far away as possible.

Her face fell as soon as my words hit her, looking weirdly over to Santiago before she made her leave quietly back behind the counter, whispering something to herself. Bitch.

“She was only doing her job.” The Spanish man across from me chuckled with an amused face. Finding it seemingly funny, how I reacted toward the woman.

“I’m not here for bullshit like this. So cut it and answer my question.” I countered, not bothering with his comment.

Santiago snorted and leaned back against the booth behind him.

“After I retired, I’ve been working as consultant with the DEA down in South America. For the last 3 years I tried to actually get this guy.” So he was still kinda doing the same thing. Never being someone to just stop at some point, constantly needing to do something. He hadn’t changed at all.

I didn’t know what each of them were doing in these 8 years, maybe all of them had retired already?

“Why?”

“Because he’s the reason, everything I’ve done didn’t make any difference. He’s destroying that country with no one stopping him and I want to change that.” He finished, looking at me expectantly.

“And suddenly, after nobody could even find a trace about him, you know where he is?” I questioned him in disbelief.

“I’ve got an informant down there that found out where Lorea is.” Was he really that foolish to believe he could actually trust an “informant”? He should know best that in our line of work it was your certain death. Never trust anyone.

“And you want me to just blindly trust you with that? No way, Garcia.” Why did I have the feeling that there was still more to this than he let on?

“Okay. Here, at least take a look at this.” He proposed with a sigh and handed me a red folder he took out of his black bag that was next to him. Santiago knew I wasn’t convinced by any word he had said so far and wanted to change his strategy as it looked. Good luck to him, he wouldn’t get far with that.

“And what is that?” I asked him, wondering what he could possibly want with a folder now.

Taking it from him, I looked around us for a moment, making sure nobody was listening or looking at what we were discussing, then opening and laying it on the table between us.

There were various notes and pictures of Lorea and what was presumably his house. What did he want with all this? Every possible question that came up while looking through everything flew right out the window when I came across two words, that put everything in a whole new light. The first one being ‘Triple Frontier’ and the second ‘Money’. Both big and bright red flags.

“Have you actually gone insane?!” I raised my voice at him, not believing that he seriously was planning this.

“You wanna go in one of the worst and dangerous places on this planet and kill one of the biggest drug lords there?! And on top of it, get his money too?!” I added, heavily shaking my head and looking back out of the window with a scoff. This was bound to fail. He must have lost his god damn mind! That place was crawling with criminals, corruption, cartels and drug lords.

“Look, I really need him and it’s less than a week of work for 17 grand and potentially much more.” Santiago tried to let it sound less bad than it actually was. Like it was only a normal thing.

“I don’t give a damn shit about the money, Santiago! This is a fuckin’ suicide mission!” My blood was boiling by now. What was he thinking? Was he actually believing he could do this? Was he seriously not considering sending all of the guys into their deaths?

“I need you on this, please.” He was giving me that look I knew too well when he wanted to convince someone, but I wasn’t going to give in to it.

“Hell no! If you so desperately want Lorea, go get him. You don’t need me anyway if you have the others. Do they even know about me?” I denied his pleading and was wondering if he had told someone about me.

“No, they don’t.” He let out a long, frustrated sigh, lifting his cap, readjusting it and crossing his arms over his chest after.

“They wouldn’t agree to it anyway if they knew.” I let out a sarcastic laugh, sure as hell not a single one of them wanted to see me ever again in their lives. And I wasn’t about to change that.

“Have you asked them already?” Adding another question, I looked back to him, wanting to see in his eyes when he answered.

“Not yet. I had hoped to ask you first.” I should have known it. This Bastard. He was giving me the most innocent look he was able to pull up.

“And the answer’s still no and will be.” Emphasizing my words, I made sure to make it clear for him that he wasn’t gonna get me to help with his stunt. No matter what he tried.

“Here’s my number if you should change your decision. And Ben has a fight in the local gym in Pinellas County this Friday at 5 PM, you should come.” Santiago accepted his defeat finally and gave me a piece of paper with his phone number on it, waiting till I really took it from him and shoved it carelessly in the right pocket of my pants.

“I’m not coming. And I already made my decision.” I immediately replied, closing the red folder in front of me and getting up. He could wait for a lifetime that I seriously even considered changing it. And why the hell was he inviting me to a fight? From the one person I wouldn’t face for the death of me ever again?

“You know how to reach me. It was… nice to see you again, Y/N.” He followed and stood up too, holding my gaze.

“I can’t really say the same and I wouldn’t get my hopes up if I were you, Garcia.” Was all I said before I left him and the café, not looking back.

4 hours later, 6 PM, North Carolina, Fort Bragg

Arriving back home, I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. Luc, Mick, Alex and me were just passing the door of the base when Deryll and Marc came toward us to take their security shift.

“There’s our favorite girl!”

“Look who it is!”

They both shouted at the same time with wide smiles and came over to greet us. I hadn’t seen them since we came back from our last mission, not having the time to pay attention to it anyway because of the things that happened shortly after.

Both were still there for me after I got assigned to the boys I called my team now and they were the only ones here that really knew besides colonel Sanders how close I was with them. The two friends never had to witness in full detail how I really was doing after everything, having to work their shifts and me constantly being on a mission god knows where with my new team. But they weren’t stupid and were able to pick up on little things they noticed changing. It was a shock for them at first when they heard what had happened, not wanting to believe that such a thing was even possible. They always believed we would be a team forever. Oh boy, how wrong they were.

So the years passed and they couldn’t do more than stand by and watch how the once happy, lively, little girl they knew and cherished, turned into an unrecognizable monster consumed by only darkness. There wasn’t a single thing they could do to help keeping her alive cause it had been already too late. Far too late to try and safe the last pieces remaining. She was already dead.

But being the boys they were, they didn’t even think about giving up. They always made sure to keep talking to her, trying to at least brighten her dark days a little and showing her that they were there since the first day they met her. That they wouldn’t leave her too.

“Attention! Mick’s twins at 4 o’clock.” Alex immediately warned from beside me as he spotted the two friends walking in our direction.

“Will you ever stop calling them that?” Mick shot back at the Spanish man, eyeing him with a sharp look from the opposite side of me.

“No, hermano. I can’t help that it’s the truth.” Shrugging with his shoulders, Alex chuckled at his brother. Knowing it annoyed him to no end when he called them by the nickname he came up with after he got to know them because he thought they were exactly like Mick: loud, with a big mouth and as annoying as him. In the brotherly sense.

“I can definitely see some similarities.” Luc acknowledged amused with a wink toward the man in question.

“And I thought you would have my back for once, Luc!” He said in a fake disappointed voice, hanging his head dramatically.

“Who’s annoying our dear brother?” Deryll asked laughing when he reached us with widespread arms and embraced Mick.

“What’s good, man?” Mick replied joyfully with a clap on his back, happy to see him.

“Can’t have that, can we?” Marc added a moment after, going over to Alex and hugging him.

“As if you would care.” Alex returned sarcastically, happy to see their friends too.

“Of course we care, man!” Deryll assured him while he went to Luc and repeated his gesture.

“Nice to see you, man.” Luc greeted him back, exchanging a brotherly embrace like the others while Marc moved on to Mick.

After they greeted the boys, they came to me. Having patiently waited till the men were finished and watched their interactions with each other.

“And there she is!” Deryll’s grin grew even wider at the sight of me.

“Hey.” I quietly said while I put my arms around him and waited till he bent down with his over six foot tall body a little so I didn’t have to get on my tiptoes because of his height.

“How are we doin’? Your boys takin’ care of you?” He asked, inspecting me attentively after pulling back a bit.

“Did you really just ask her that, bro?” Mick’s surprised voice cut in.

“Of course, someone here has to make sure she’s okay.” Deryll answered with a laugh, giving me a soft squeeze.

“You know we always do.” Luc joined in with a nod and a knowing look toward him.

“We’re only checking up on her, so chill.” Marc decided to help his friend, now switching with him to hug me also.

“We got her covered, don’t you worry.” Alex spoke up, making himself a bit taller with an underlying protective seriousness in his voice.

“I’m okay, you can stop. You know they wouldn’t leave me out of sight even if I wanted.” I decided to finally say something and crack a joke that would hopefully distract them from noticing what was currently going on inside me.

My boys knew right away when they had picked me up from the airport earlier that something wasn’t okay. I hadn’t spoken much on the way, already exhausted enough from the flight where I nearly had a panic attack as soon as we took off. Everything was all over the place right now. I didn’t know how to handle the chaos of emotions that was wrecking through me at the moment. How to control it. Santiago had unintentionally poked the beast at a point he shouldn’t have, one that had it clawing even wilder against its cage, trying to break free from its chains to get out and rip everything in its wake to shreds.

“They better.” The security boys said in unison and gave me both a wink.

“Okay, enough of that now, pendejos. Our girl and us have an important talk to have, so we gonna have to cut this short here.” The Spanish man decided that he had enough, not able to stand my unusual quietness any longer and hating to not know the reason for it.

“Alright man, see y’all later then and don’t forget to tell her to use protection!” Marc shouted after us as the boys and me started to walk away after waving them goodbye.

“Increíble. (Unbelievable.)” Alex mumbled to himself.

“That’s my line, dude!” Mick shouted back over his shoulder, trying to lift the growing tension in the air but failing.

After a short walk in utter silence that felt like it was suffocating me, we were standing in front of colonel Sanders.

I knew I didn’t need to do this, given it was something more “private” and not a mission report or anything like that. But I also knew that the colonel would want to know how it went and I kinda owed it to him for all the things he had done and was doing for me. And because he was involved in all this too even if he was more on the sideline of things.

My teammates were already itching to know what was going on since I hadn’t told them a single word about the meeting with Santiago yet. I simply couldn’t, I didn’t know what and how to say it. That’s why I just stood there quietly after the colonel greeted us, not able to get any words out. All I wanted was to run as fast to my bunk as I could and push everything back as deep as possible, lock it away in the darkest corner of myself to never have to think about it again. But of course I couldn’t.

“Are you finally gonna tell us now what’s going on? You’ve been different ever since you came back and I don’t like it.” Alex voiced his growing concerns out loud, watching me with an intense gaze.

The only thing he got as answer was my silence, uncomfortably shifting from foot to foot and keeping my eyes fixated on the ground. I knew I should have said something but there was nothing to help with getting anything out of my mouth.

“That asshole hurt you, right?! He’s so fucking dead! I’m gonna kill him!” Mick threatened with a raised voice, finally exploding because he had enough.

“STOP!” I yelled even louder, squeezing my eyes shut as hard as I was able to and clenched my fists, digging my nails in my palms painfully. You need to calm down, don’t loose it in front of them. Stay in control.

“Y/N, we all can see that something is bothering you and to me it looks like it is nothing good that happened, am I right?” Colonel Sanders asked cautiously, not wanting to irritate me further. Knowing I was in a fragile state right now and it would only take one more wrong word before I’d snap. And none of them wanted that to happen. To experience it when they let the ferocious wolf out of its containment.

I was back to being quiet again, not daring to say another word for fear of crossing the line to the dead zone they were stepping dangerously close to right now.

“How about we all relax for a sec?” Luc intervened after I still refused to speak, his message aimed for his friends that he eyed from the side.

“You don’t have to tell us anything you’re not ready for. We understand.” He continued sympathetically, while he crouched down in front of me and slowly tried to pry my tight clasped fists open.

That got me to open my eyes and look at him. Why did they all care so much about me when I didn’t deserve it? When I should burn in eternal hell for everything I’ve done? How could they still look me in the eyes?

Another heartbeat long we just stared at each other and I could feel almost tears coming up that I stopped before they had the slightest chance to surface. Why was it bothering me so much? Why did I still care?

“He… wants me to help him with a recce.” I pressed out, not able to keep it in any longer.

“This gets better and better.” Mick scoffed with a shaking head from the side.

“A recce? That’s all he wanted to talk about?” Alex asked for confirmation frowning, not understanding why that was Santiago’s priority, out of all possible more important things.

“I don’t know. I didn’t let him get to anything else, didn’t want to hear any sentimental shit.” I looked from Luc’s face back to the ground between us, letting him hold my hands he had intertwined with his after he managed to loosen them.

“Do I want to know any details?” The colonel questioned skeptically, knowing his ex-delta force soldier well enough to know that there must be more.

“Not really.” Sighing heavily, I squeezed Luc’s hand a little harder that he returned with one of his own.

“Please tell me that you’ve refused.” Mick turned to me with hopeful eyes. Trusting my judgement like always, to know when to draw a line.

“As if it would be that easy…” I whispered to myself with a slight huff. If you were not considering all the lives he put at stake.

“Of course, I did, Mick.” Confirming with a nod at him, I retreated my hands and crossed my arms.

“Thank god.” He relaxed his stiff posture.

“Why do I hear a ‘but’?” His brother Luc cut in, stopping his heightening mood in an instant.

“Because Santiago’s about to get himself into trouble.” Colonel Sanders answered for me and leaned back in his chair, having already caught on with my implications and reactions.

“That means?” The Spanish man among us spoke up once again after listening the back and forth of our conversation, paying close attention to my behavior the entire time.

It was now or never. If I wouldn’t tell them now, I wouldn’t be able to get it out if I thought any longer about the possible consequences.

“Remember the drug lord Delta’s been trying to find? Lorea?” I asked the round of the four men and waited till they put one and one together.

I could literally see the lightbulbs turning on over their heads not a moment later.

“He wants to go after him and his money.” I elaborated, staring holes into the ground and hoped it would swallow me whole. I could feel my gut clenching uncomfortably at every word that came out. This was so fucked up. I should have never agreed to that meeting! Why did I have to be so stupid?

“He knows you’re active duty and that this would have consequences?” The colonel immediately said with a warning tone and I could have sworn I saw anger crossing his features for a second as I looked up at him before it went back to his blank one.

“Why would he want your help with it anyway?” Luc questioned shortly after, standing back up from his crouching position and moving to my left side to his original spot.

“Because…” I started but the words soon left me again, not wanting to voice out the worst thing I still had to tell them. “…he wants to get the team back together.”

“He really thinks he can pull this shit up? That someone would be insane enough to agree to his fucked up idea? Why not going to Lorea and ask him politely if he will give him all his fucking money and oh by the way, put a bullet through his head?” Mick laughed with sarcasm lacing his voice.

“It’s illegal, right?” Alex pointed out with a raised eyebrow.

“According to his folder he showed me, it’s supposed to be a legal operation. Looked like he wanted to do it with the narcotics unit and work across the border with the army. He made a contract with an agency down there or some shit.” I explained what I had read on the notes he had given me.

The boys’ faces turned toward each other with confused looks, probably all asking themselves the same.

“So Santiago’s still working with the DEA in South America. He told me about his plan to go there before he retired a few years ago.” Sanders answered their unspoken question, having already recognized what they were about to ask. He never told me anything about them in these 8 years. Not that I cared… or rather, that I was lying to myself all along…

Just as I was about to ask the colonel a question of my own, Luc beat me to it with another one of his.

“Did he tell you the location? Or where he got the information?”

“You won’t like it.” I told him, sending him a serious look from the side.

Quiet huffs filled the room, like they had already anticipated that it wouldn’t be something good too.

“Somewhere near the Triple Frontier in the jungle. He claimed that his ‘informant’ found it out.”

“As if this whole thing wouldn’t have been insane enough already!” Mick commented dryly with irritation in his voice.

“He wants to drag you into one of the most dangerous places?! Because of an information from a person he can’t even trust? That’s enough!” Alex added, now sharing the same feeling with his brother.

“You have already made your decision, haven’t you, Y/N?” Luc’s soft voice sounded from beside me and pulled all the attention on him before it quickly shifted over to me. I was sure he had suspected it from the start even if I had been denying it myself.

A deafening silence settled over the office when I withheld the answer they were all waiting for and instead lowered my gaze down to the floor once again with every possible negative emotion flowing through me. Closing my eyes and willing myself to stay as calm as possible, to keep my shit together.

“You said you refused! You can’t be fucking considering it now, Y/N! You can’t do this!” Mick’s harsh tone cut the silence like a knife and it was like the room was closing in on me with every passing second.

“I won’t lose anyone else! I-… can’t.” I literally screamed out but ending nearly in a whisper, fixating him with something none of them had seen in a very long time since the death of their friend Vic. With the most vulnerable look and glossed over eyes I just stared at him, silently pleading with him to understand. To not make me say the words out loud. Please. Please don’t make me relive it. I won’t be able to survive it this time.

“And if that means I have to give up everything then so be it. I’d do everything than being here and pretend I didn’t know that they are getting themselves killed with this fucking suicide mission!” Letting my gaze wander around to each one of them, I saw that they had lowered their heads with saddened expressions. Understanding exactly what I was talking about and how I felt.

Exhaling after I was finished, I gave myself a break for a moment to calm my faster heartbeat and re-collect myself.

“Can you… tell me what the others have been doing? I want to at least know what I’ll be dealing with.” I continued with the question I wanted to ask earlier and looked to colonel Sanders.

“Y/N, you know I can’t tell you anything private. Only if it’s something official.” He answered with a softened look and folded his hands in front of him on his desk.

“What if it was a mission?” I proposed, holding eye contact.

“What do you have in mind, captain?” He questioned back, narrowing his eyes slightly.

“We’ve been looking for Lorea anyway, so… what if me and my team take him and his guys out as an official mission of Delta?”

The three boys were quiet after my little speech, not saying another word because they probably knew that they couldn’t stop me. Keeping their eyes locked to the ground below them and listening.

“You know what I’ll be forced to do if anything else happens.” Sanders reminded me with all his authority, making sure I was clear about what I’d be doing.

“Yes, commander.” I confirmed him without hesitation with a nod.

After a moment long silent exchange between us, colonel Sanders turned to his right where his computer was placed and began typing.

“Fine. Give me a minute.”

Shortly after, he motioned for me to come around to him. Not wasting any time, I crossed the distance with fast steps and gave Luc, Alex and Mick that had looked up to follow what was happening, a nod to the side with my head as if to say Follow me. Not questioning my instruction, they moved around the desk too and came to a halt to my left.

“Anyone specific you want to start with?” The colonel wanted to know but I declined, bracing myself for what I was about to hear.

“No.”

“Let’s see who we’ve got first then.”

A few clicks and types on his keyboard later, the first file showed up on his screen, for everyone to see.

“Looks like we’re starting with one of the captains. William Miller, the older brother of the two Millers. He’s giving speeches at the local VA where he’s living with his younger brother in Florida after he retired. There’s a report from an incident 5 years ago when he was on his time on leave. It happened in a Publix store, according to witnesses he had an arm around a guy’s throat in the cereal isle and squeezed so hard that he pissed himself. Seems like he was engaged at that time cause people said his fiancé as she had claimed, had to climb on his back to stop him from actually killing the guy. According to reports of the people there, he’d done it because the guy hadn’t moved his cart when he asked him to, and his fiancé left him right after.” Sanders read out loud for all of us to hear as he went over everything in Will’s file.

I didn’t know what exactly I expected to hear but it surely wasn’t this. To say that I was shocked was an understatement. Will was never the violent type and would’ve never hurt innocent people intentionally. From how it sounded, I guessed that it must had to do something with his PTSD. There was no other logical explanation for him to act out like this, especially in public. And to hear that he had a fiancé felt even stranger but that she had left him after what he’d been through made my blood boil. He didn’t deserve something like that. He didn’t deserve to be treated like this and he didn’t deserve someone that couldn’t understand him. How did she dare hurting him like this? You did just the same…

This is only your fault!

“Who do we have next?” I asked, not wanting to think about it more and ending up severing her ugly head from her body when I ever got the chance. She’d wish, she never had crossed paths with Will.

Stop thinking like this, Y/N! They’re not your concern anymore! You didn’t care these 8 years, so don’t start now! …Yes, you did! Stop lying to yourself already!

“You know about Santiago Garcia, so we can skip him since there’s nothing recorded in his file besides his work with the DEA and a neck operation last year.” Abruptly pulling me out of my thoughts, mine and Sanders’ looks crossed for a moment when he turned his head and I nodded, confirming it was okay to proceed.

“Captain Thomas Davis. Unlike the rest of the team, he was forced to retire. He’s now selling condos in the town he’s living in Florida. Has split with his wife but is still taking care of their two girls they have together. That’s everything we’ve got about him.” Tom wasn’t as much of a surprise because I knew that he had family, even if he rarely brought it up, and there were some tensions that had seemed to not have evened out over time. But I never thought it was that bad, for them to split. But he always could be a bit complicated, so it hadn’t been completely off the table.

“Let’s see who we’ve got next… ah, the younger Miller brother. Benjamin Miller, as I already mentioned, he’s living together with his older brother. The only record we have about him is that he’s been doing MMA fights after he retired, nothing else.” I cringed internally at the mention of his first name. Ben didn’t like it that much, wanting to be called ‘Ben’ or ‘Benny’ but never by his right first name. Why, he never told me but I respected it and never mentioned it. He had told me about some fights he had when he was on leave, always claiming that he was the best despite his sometimes still healing wounds he had when he came back that obviously indicated that he got his ass kicked. I hated those times, even if the wounds were very small and barely visible anymore, it still pained and angered me to know that someone had hurt him even if that was part of what he was doing. I absolutely loathed to see him hurt in any shape or form and the guilt that came with it, that I hadn’t been there or couldn’t do anything about it to protect him. Did he have a girlfriend too? With his always flirtatious and charming nature he surely wouldn’t have a problem finding one… Not mentioning his look… I gritted my teeth at the thought, not wanting to even begin to imagine a possible scenario like this. Feeling the all too familiar white-hot rage rushing through my veins immediately.

This is only your fault!

Trying my best to ignore the annoying voice in my head, I shifted my attention back to reality just in time where the colonel had already moved on to the last person he hadn’t mentioned yet.

“And lastly, we have Francisco Morales. Divorced from his wife about 3 years ago and lost his license after he got busted with coke last year. He’s still under review, result pending. Also living in Florida.” First I thought I didn’t hear right but the more I repeated his words, the more clearer they became and I didn’t want to believe a single one of them. He had lost his license because of drugs?! He never had anything to do with shit like that before. What had happened that caused him to think it was a good idea to fall back on fucking coke or other dangerous drugs? And since when did he have a wife, that also had the audacity to break his heart apparently? Was she the reason for his unusual behavior? She better not be…

His flying license had always meant everything to him and to lose it because of something like that… I couldn’t even imagine how he must have felt.

This is only YOUR fault!

I was so full of rage like I hadn’t been in a long while. Enraged about myself. How could’ve everything fallen apart like this? What the fuck had happened to the Delta Force soldiers I once knew? The ones I had called my family?

“That’s everything we’ve got about them.” I heard the colonel from my right but was barely paying attention to it, too caught up in the rising anger that was already spreading like a wildfire through my inside and keeping blankly staring at the screen.

You’re a monster. You destroyed everything, shouldn’t you be happy?

“Thank you.” My emotionless voice answered, not registering that I actually said it.

I hoped that none of my teammates would be commenting on anything they just heard because I wouldn’t be capable of taking it right now.

A tug on my arm snapped me back to the present, where I got greeted with sympathetic smiles from each of the four men in the room. They had probably sensed that I didn’t take the information very well and wanted to reassure me that they wouldn’t judge about what they had heard. Well, Sanders already surely must have known most of it, that was out of question. Maybe it was better he never told me anything these last years. Not that it would have changed anything anyway.

The boys had nearly walked back to the places they stood before, when I started to slowly retreat too. Making sure my legs were stable enough to carry me the short distance.

“So… how are we feeling about this?” The colonel asked after a quietness had settled between us.

“Her fight is our fight.” Mick spoke up as soon as he ended, with a determination in his voice I didn’t expect.

Full of surprise I looked toward him and saw a mischievous grin on his face, one that was all too familiar.

“Someone’s gotta keep them off of you, right captain?” He added with a wink at me.

I just blinked at him, not knowing why he suddenly had changed his opinion despite being adamant and hellbent on me not doing it.

“And you didn’t really think I’d let you simply walk alone into a deathtrap, did you?” Mick continued, his grin getting wider.

“Exactamente. (Exactly.) We’ve been through enough shit together already, we ain’t gonna stop because of some drug lord.” Alex joined his brother, the smile he had before still on his face.

“What’s there left for me to say if you guys say everything in advance?” Luc questioned at his friends with a laugh.

“Maybe that you’re grateful that we let you come along?” Mick joked.

“Fuck off. You’ll be glad to have me if I have to patch up your sorry ass.” His friend countered.

“There is another thing I have to tell you.” I cut in their laughs that were missing for too long since we were here.

All attention was back on me in an instant, their eyes looking curiously at me.

“Before I left the café, Santiago invited me to one of Ben’s MMA fights this Friday.” I told them, not really sharing their surprisingly good mood.

“You want to go?” Sanders straightened his position in his chair. He knew I was close to him because Ben never had made a secret out of it with his big mouth and constantly being around me. But how much did he really know?

“I told him I wouldn’t but if we’re doing this then I might as well, right?” I questioned back, already regretting that I had thrown all of my previous decisions out the window in a span of only a few hours. But at the prospect of potential deaths, it was different.

“Need some company?” Luc offered, probably knowing it wouldn’t be an easy thing to do for me.

“Was counting on it.” Relieved that I wouldn’t have to get through it alone, I nodded at him.

“I’d say I come with you but I don’t wanna interrupt your date, lovebirds.” Mick interjected with a laugh.

“And someone’s gotta keep watch so you don’t burn down the whole base, hermano.” Alex added, jabbing his friend lightly in the ribs and pulling him in a headlock before he could let any more words out.

“Fucking kids.” Luc commented laughing while shaking his head.

My look went from them over to colonel Sanders who held my gaze with a reassuring smile.

A/N: Thanks for all the follows, likes and reblogs! It really means the world to me ❤️ Also how are we feeling about the things that have been revealed to us? 🤔

If you enjoyed the chapter/ the story so far feel free to reblog, like and comment! 🥰

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#benny miller #benny miller x reader #will miller #william miller x reader #santiago garcia #santiago garcia x reader #francisco morales #frankie morales x reader #triple frontier x reader #triple frontier #triple frontier fanfiction #garrett hedlund #charlie hunnam #oscar isaac #pedro pascal #IGotYourSix

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renren85105 · 5 months

Note

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love❤

Thanks for asking me, Tee!

This was a lot harder than I thought it would be and it took me a lot longer than I expected it to! These are not in any order after the first one, because I cannot rank them lol.

Houseboat of Love

I’m weak for exes to lovers and second chance at love fics, so when the prompt came up in the 2022 BJYX Week, I knew I had to try my hand at writing one. And it’s turned out to me my favorite of my fics, or maybe my favorite of my favorites, and based on stats alone I think it’s most people’s favorite of mine. I wanted to start at the new beginning for them, have Xiao Zhan unwilling to see Yibo again because he was afraid of his own remaining feelings and for Yibo to have never stopped loving Xiao Zhan, but he hasn’t been allowed to for some years and how he’s had to get on with living and making space for this love that doesn’t have anywhere to go. I know this makes the fic sound really angsty, but starting at the new beginning I think keeps it in the background, a hum of angst that pushes the story but isn’t the point of the story. And I loved writing tattooed buff Yibo doing the bat crunches and Xiao Zhan being so obviously thirsty for his ex-husband, I let him get goofy with it and it was so much fun to write. The whole fic was a joy to write, honestly. And I’m glad Tash told me to bring back the bit of what happened between them, even though she then (lovingly) yelled at me for what happened between them, because I think it really did make the story more well-rounded. This one was partially inspired by the Sweet Home Alabama movie, where the main character finds out her ex never filed the divorce papers - but I couldn’t bear to have Xiao Zhan be with anyone else in my version so that part of the plot is all I adapted to this story. My sleepwalking/sexsomnia fic was technically my first exes to lovers fic (it came out over a year later) but I feel like this one was my first real “break them up and get them back together because they love each other still” fic. And I’m glad so many have loved it as I have.

Love the Simulation I’m Dreaming In

I love this one because it is so much fun. It was so much fun to adapt this Golden Girls plot to Yizhan, I made several changes from the Love, Rose plot so it fit a) modern times and b) so Jackson & Yixing weren’t knowingly setting up Xiao Zhan to fall in love with their creation. In the GG episode, Rose finds her fake man in the phone book, and so I decided that a good update for that would be a hookup app. I loved making Xiao Zhan so damn dramatic (swanning around in a Shut Up robe and cooking stir fry for one despite the other two roommates being home, all because they weren’t there for his big announcement) and I made myself laugh with the ostrich feather conversation and so much of it. I’m just glad my humor comes across and other people find it funny too! Also Yibo is hot as fuck in this, if I do say so myself. And that’s always fun 😂

You Can't Rush the River

This one was my first ever gift exchange fic, and it was for my dear friend Elisa. I had seen the first season of the Witcher and read a couple of chapters of the book, but I’m largely too squeamish with gore to have played/watched the video games. I knew I could write it though, so I did my research and rewatched a couple of episodes and watched my husband play through a bit of the third game. The prompt asked for rivals to lovers, and I love that it turned out as a one-sided Yibo thinks they’re rivals, hated rivals, while Xiao Zhan has been flirting the whole 50 years they’ve known each other. The emotions after what for one was a hate handjob and for the other was the culmination of *decades* of dancing around each other was very satisfying to write. This one is special to me because it was crafted for someone else, but I also learned a lot about what I can accomplish if I want to do it.

Fireworks in the Stars

I’m extremely partial to this fic. Mostly because it’s a bit of an experiment with a world I’d like to write a full novel in (will that happen? I have no idea but it’s a goal!) So when the set of prompts from a server challenge fit the world I was playing with, I knew it was time to try to write something in it. I’m really happy with how that turned out, and it helped me figure out what worked in that world and what didn’t. I think it’s maybe my most sensuous story, with all the textures and the body paint. But I love the idea of breaking all the rules to find your love again, of meeting your special person in a situation where you're never supposed to see them again and how you can heal from that -- except the other person finds you before you can. Love it!

You Belong in my Arms & ad astra:

This feels like cheating, and maybe it is but i suppose you’ve read this far and will be okay with it, haha! So I think everyone knows that I love tentacles, and tentacle stories, so it was finally time to write my own. And guess what, as of this writing, there are still no sexy tentacles, but these boys have found each other and have yet to learn that they are each other’s fantasy. I have outlines for one last chapter, though if it gets long in the writing it may become two. I’ll write it all before publishing; I love this fic a great deal (octopus!Yibo has my entire heart) but publishing it as a wip without it being completed or at least a couple of chapters ahead has hung over me in a way that I don’t like. Each fic teaches you something about yourself I think, and that’s what I learned from this one. For ad astra, it is a Star Trek AU, which like the Witcher, I knew enough to be dangerous but also because I’d written You Can’t Rush The River I knew I could write this one too. And it was a joy, I’m in love with it still and I think I’ve read it the most out of all of my published projects.

So there we have it! Many, many days later you have my top stories I’ve written, though I do love them all and this was a bit like having to choose a favorite child. Do you have a favorite of mine? I’d love to know! Tell me about it here or on the awful site 💖

#ask #yizhan #my fic #fanfic writer

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humanoidalien27 · 1 year

Text

Bad things ahead. Be warned. Rewriting most of the story because I made my sib sad and angry when she read it. (I got scolded. 😂)

Content warning: death and other possible triggers

.....

Chapter 2

With friends like these

The pain you felt was worse than you ever thought could happen, it was like suffocating.

You were half hunched over the table, trying desperately to hold yourself up as you gasped for air.

Garreth was foot deep in a story about exploding a potion on Professor Sharp who, though annoyed, was absolutely covered in multicolored goop, that kept changing his hair color every time he spoke.

Just imagining it sent you into another fit of laughter.

"I can't imagine he was happy about that," Natty whispered in shock.

"He had to go to nurse Blainey and then to my aunt to stop his hair from changing colors. She wasn't happy with me and threatened to expel me if I didn't stop with my brews until I was caught up on homework."

"Well, maybe the rest of us can go one potion class without being exploded," Amit replied irritably.

Snickering, you finally calmed down, having to wipe your eyes clear of tears.

"Thank you Garreth, I needed a good laugh."

He beamed and gave a slight bow. "To be honest, it did look like it. You've been exceptionally on edge lately."

You gave a shrug, your eyes falling to the foam in your butterbeer. "Just having trouble sleeping."

"Why not take a sleeping draught then?" Leander asked, already pulling on from his robes and holding it out.

"Do I want to know why you're keeping one on hand?"

He chuckled. "I have chronic insomnia too. One of the habits of studying all night."

"Shouldn't you keep that then?"

He chuckled. "Not to worry, I have loads."

Giving a smile, you took the vial from him. "Thank you Leander."

He nodded as I stowed it away in my pocket.

Maybe I'll use it tonight to get more rest.

I barely walked into the castle before I saw Ominis and Sebastian arguing nearby.

Shaking my head, I moved to head towards my common room, but I barely made it three steps before Sebastian moved over with Ominis glaring at his back.

"Hey, now that you're done with your plans, can we talk?"

Sighing, you knew that you wouldn't be able to avoid this for much longer.

"Fine Sebastian, say what you need to."

Taken back by your tone, he took a step back as Ominis moved over.

"Why are you so closed off? I've apologized-"

"No, you just said the words so I would continue to help you," you replied softly, trying to keep your voice even. "If you were sorry, you wouldn't keep doing this."

"Doing what?"

The scowl rose to his face again.

"Continue this knowing I'm avoiding this conversation. Knowing this whole damn thing is making me exhausted."

"Fine, I get it, don't get prissy about your goblin friend-"

You almost strangled him. "It's not about Lodgok, this is about you and your manipulation," you hissed, getting Ominis's face to morph into surprise. "You know I didn't want to do anything involving...you know what...after the scriptorium and you keep dragging me into it. Then get angry when I reiterate why I didn't want to be a part of it. I can't walk down this road with you. I'm sorry, but I can see where it leads."

He crossed his arms over his chest. "And where does it lead?"

"With one of us dead," you answered honestly, startling both of them.

"If we run scared about what could happen-"

"You're seriously willing to sacrifice one of us to research the dark arts?" You asked coldly, getting Ominis to shift on his feet.

"It's not- this is to save Anne. You know that." He growled.

"So, you'd be perfectly fine if Ominis or I, or both, die in exchange?"

"Now you're just being dramatic."

Shaking your head, you took a step back, seeing Sebastian's stance fall as he moved to reach out to you but stopped himself.

"Fine, go. I don't need you. I can do this on my own."

He moved to leave as Ominis stayed beside me.

"I know you don't think this is the right path, but in the end, the dark arts only end in pain."

You nodded as your throat burned, heart twisted with guilt. "I know."

His head turned towards me as I sighed shakily.

"Let's hope he doesn't learn it too."

"Too?"

You nodded again as you felt your nose tickling, before I looked at him. "You're not the only one who has been at the mercy of someone who knows those spells."

As his mouth dropped as he heard the building emotions in your voice, you moved to leave.

You'd made sure not to tell anyone about what happened.

Sebastian decided to leave you alone after that and slowly you began to worry about the keeper trials and your homework.

It wasn't until an owl arrived from Ominis that changed everything.

You raced to the crypt as fast as you could, nearly running into Ominis and Anne, the latter left quickly saying about how she was going to get help. Not that you could worry about that while battling your way through the crypt to get to Sebastian.

He wasn't surprised to see you, as if he expected it.

"Isn't it fantastic? I can help Anne now."

"How is controlling shamblers going to help your sister?" You asked, keeping your wand out at the closest inferius.

"I can control the curse now," he said happily.

Warning bells rang loudly in your head as you stared at his face. He was already so lost in the dark arts, he couldn't see that he wasn't helping anyone like this.

"Sebastian, please stop this."

He waved his hand around. "Stop? I'm closer than ever to saving Anne and you want me to stop?"

"What have you done?"

You jumped at Solomon's voice as he accio-ed the relic from Sebastian's hands and destroyed it.

Instantly the inferius turned on you and a fight broke out.

Not wanting to get in the middle of their family matters, you focused on the shamblers. Trying to widdle down their numbers, but more just kept coming.

"Avada Kadavra!"

Your blood drained from your face as you turned seeing Solomon enveloped in green before he fell to the ground.

"Seba-"

Fire spread through the area, destroying the inferius easily.

My eyes moved to Anne just before she cast at her brother, knocking him backwards into me.

Stunned, you didn't even notice Sebastian was laying against you as you watched Anne vanish with Solomon.

I glanced at the side of his face, seeing guilt and pain twisting the features.

"We need to go," you said, already pushing him to his feet.

When you started, you didn't hear him following, so you raced back and shoved him towards the exit.

It was only then that you realized his wand was on the ground. Before you could tell him, he raced out of the crypt.

Stowing it with yours, you chased after him.

He started pacing once outside the crypt, though you heard him talking, you were focused on his body language and if he seemed remorseful.

He just seemed scared and confused about what to do, then left before you could give his wand back.

Ominis met you as you entered Feldcroft.

"Anne's devastated, she said Sebastian killed Solomon." His brows pinched together as you gave a heavy sigh. "He did, didn't he?"

"Yeah, he did, but Solomon wasn't backing down either. That doesn't excuse him, he could have knocked Solomon out instead, but-"

"I understand and I'm sorry about asking you to come here tonight. Maybe it would have been better if I didn't involve you."

We began to walk towards Solomon's house. I didn't know what to say or what I could do to make this tragedy less painful. A

"Then Sebastian might have been killed instead," you reminded as you rubbed your forehead.

"Anne thinks we should turn him in, but can't do it herself and I-" He dropped his head, the toll taking a lot out of him.

Anne looked over as Ominis walked into the house, though I was a little reluctant, she greeted me with a weak smile.

"I'm so sorry Anne."

She nodded as she sat in the closest chair. "I am too. I'm not sure I can forgive him and he should be punished for what he's done, right?"

After a moment, you realized they were staring at you for advice.

"I can't decide this," you whispered meekly as you moved to across from Anne. "The situation's too messy. Did Sebastian need to go that far? I don't think so, but the killing curse? Then Solomon wouldn't stop attacking either. The inferius didn't make it easier either."

"In your opinion," Anne started.

"I can't make this choice. I quite literally can't." You rubbed you face harshly, the pit in your stomach now eating away at your chest cavity. "The situations are too close."

Ominis caught that whisper and leaned closer. "What situations?" When I didn't answer, he urged further. "Didn't you say you were at the mercy of someone who knew the curses too?"

Anne's eyes widened, before grief over took them again.

"I was," you whispered.

Anne, upon noticing they weren't going to get anything more from you, looked to Ominis. "Sebastian won't stop this path until something makes him stop."

Ominis nodded, though he wasn't too happy about everything. "Alright, I will go to Professor Black and tell him everything."

"I think this is a rash decision due to fresh pain and emotions," you whispered, not that they seemed to hear you or ignored it.

.....

Previous Chapter : One

Next Chapter

(I never personally did this in game, but I wondered about what would happen and I'm too impatient to wait for another game. 😆)

#hogwarts legacy #ominis gaunt #sebastian sallow #fanfiction #anne sallow #sebastian sallow x you #sebastian sallow x reader

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beantothemax · 9 months

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The dragonstones had all been returned to their rightful owner. Along the way, Therion had encountered a ghost from his past. With some blood, sweat and lots of tears, that was dealt with. Well, his friends also helped.

Alfyn had been more than happy to be a shoulder to cry on when Darius showed his horrid grin again. He was surprised such an encounter had affected Therion so much, but he didn't judge him. Therion needed support and he would provide it.

The thief watched intently as the butler removed the fool's bangle from his wrist. He rubbed his wrist as Cordelia began speaking.

"I know our deal is over, but you're welcome to visit whenever you want to," she smiled.

Therion hardly heard a word of what she said over the excitement of his newfound freedom. His arm was so light without that accursed chain. The sore, red indent it created was free.

"I'll think about it," he muttered, though his attention was still fixed on his wrist.

They exchanged shallow farewells before Therion left. He didn't return to the inn. He had to be alone. The others didn't need to see him cry again.

Boulderfall fortunately had several nooks and crannies to hide in. It took no time to find one on a cliff high above town. Therion could look down at the citizens as they went about their days. He sat leaning on a rock and instead stared at the sky.

Clouds rushed by in the strong wind. How light they must be. The heavy weight on Therion's wrist felt as light as the fluffy clouds looked.

When he shed the fool's bangle, every memory with it no longer meant anything. They shouldn't. That chapter of his life was behind him now, and he could move onto something new.

But he thought of Darius. How that man terrified him. He always thought he could kill him if they met again, but when they did, he could hardly fight. He had to rely on his friends to kill that bastard as he stood frozen in shock.

Alfyn had been the one to drag him out when Darius fell. He rushed Therion to the inn and held him as he cried. He stayed with him for hours, stroking his hair and kissing his cheek till he had worn himself down and could cry no more.

The memories of burdening Alfyn could go too. They were unpleasant. He didn't want to rely on anyone, especially not him. Such a sweet man deserved to love someone just as good as himself.

"Finally found you! We were starting to get worried," that oh so beloved voice said.

Therion looked to his side at the cheerful Alfyn who approached. He sat beside him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder.

"It's nice up here," he smiled.

Instinctively, he leaned on his lover. He was exhausted and Alfyn's chest was his favorite pillow.

"So you got the band off?" he asked.

Therion nodded and lifted his hand which Alfyn took. He carefully held it as he examined the mark. The feeling of Alfyn's hands holding his own was familiar and welcome. But Alfyn pressed a kiss to the mark.

"It'll go away soon," he said.

Gods, he really was the sweetest.

"Are you sure you like being with me?" Therion muttered.

That question made Alfyn's heartache even more everytime he was asked. Therion was perfect in every way but couldn't see it himself.

"Why wouldn't I? You stole back three dragonstones! You know how awesome that is!?" Alfyn smiled like a child.

"I guess it is."

... Perhaps not all fool's bangle memories were bad. Lots of them had Alfyn. He would laugh with and kiss and hold Therion with the biggest smile on his face. Those memories were precious.

pie….. pie!!!!!!!!!

THIS IS THE SWEETEST NICEST THING EVER OH MY GOSH

just!!!!!! the! everything!!!!!!! alfyn always being there for therion whenever he isn’t feeling ok!!!!! him always staying with theri whenever he was upset until he literally couldn’t cry anymore!!! all of that happening directly after the fight with darius!!!!!!! theri thinking that he doesn’t deserve alfyn but he does!!!! he deserves so so much and he just doesn’t know that!!!!!

and the whole thing you’re with the fool’s bangle being a physical representation of his memories!!!! with it off he’s leaving a part of his life behind!!!! but when alfyn kisses it!!! it’s like!!!! not all the memories with it were bad!!!!!!! aaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!

I am going to go to your house and. piledrive you directly into your bed because I love this so so so much. how are those two related? good question.

#asks #pie-knight #inbox fic #fave

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ahrorha · 2 years

Text

The Splintered Road

Chapter 5

The sun was greeting them when they woke up the following day. The inn was already in full swing. Most guests wanted to get back on the road again with the weather being fair. Fenris and Yssil weren't in such a hurry. With Yssil wishing to go to the healer, they took their time to repack their belongings. After having packed everything, she went on her way. Fenris waited a moment longer until the commotion outside got quieter, and most guests had left. After making a short trip to the blacksmith for supplies, he grabbed their luggage and went to the stables to get the horse ready. He was about to put the saddlebags back on when he saw Yssil returning.

He narrowed his eyes when he saw her demeanour. She looked low-spirited and absent-minded. With her eyes downcast and not paying much attention to her surroundings. She was so absent-minded that she almost bumped into some crates. In her surprise, she looked up and froze when she spotted him. “I... my bag,” she stammered.

He pointed to their belongings he had already brought outside.

“Oh...” she took a moment to respond. “I go return the key then.”

He nodded and watched her go inside. A short while later, she returned and stashed a bottle and a satchel in her bag. She gave him a small smile, but he could tell something was wrong. She was not acting like her usual self. He checked her over and noticed a new brace around her broken arm. It was a piece of cloth with flat pieces of wood sewn onto it with rows of loops. It looked sturdy and was a lot more practical than the branches they had used until then.

“Your arm okay?” he asked but only got a faint nod as an answer. Knowing how much he hated it when people prodded him, Fenris questioned her no further. He expected she would eventually tell him what was wrong. Not that he cared, of course. But glancing at the absent stare in her eyes, he was far more worried about her than he wanted to admit.

As the day went by, Fenris's worries only grew. Yssil hadn't spoken at all except for her persistent coughing. Now evening was approaching, and Fenris started to look for a spot where they could set up camp.

They passed a path leading down towards a small beach when Yssil finally spoke up.

“Can we go down there for a moment? To the beach?”

Normally Fenris enjoyed silence but hearing her speak, he breathed a small sigh of relief. Not having a reason to refuse her, he directed the horse down the path. Coming to the beach, they dismounted, and he watched her walking up to the shoreline, her feet getting wet whenever a wave came to land. After making sure they were alone and there was no danger, he followed her and looked out over the ocean.

“Well, it's official,” he said to coax more out of her. “I have travelled all the way from the Northern coast to the Southern.”

She looked at him and smiled sadly. “Knowing why makes it sound terrible.”

He huffed a laugh and felt himself relax. “The irony isn't lost on me.”

Letting out a sigh, she went back to the horse and grabbed the bottle, which turned out to be filled with booze. She flopped down in the sand and took a healthy swig before getting a coughing fit. Catching her breath, she passed him the bottle as he sat down next to her. Taking a drink, he tasted some sort of fruit brandy. The alcohol was sharp, but it left a pleasant warm feeling in his stomach. They exchanged the bottle back and forth in silence, watching the waves hitting the beach.

“I lied to you,” Yssil confessed to him.

Fenris halted his drink. He was immediately tense but managed to ask casually. “About?”

“About the dragon and how we could fly away and live our lives in peace until we are old and wrinkly.” She let out a sigh. “I have the Waning.”

This made him frown. He knew of the disease. It was a lasting lung infection that people in poor health could get. In Tevinter, it wasn't uncommon for slaves to get it. It was a deadly disease that consumed one's lungs and deteriorated the whole body. There was no cure. It could be kept under control for many years with strong healing magic or potions. But with or without treatment, the end result was always death. Sometimes the disease was fast acting, and patients withered away within a year, especially when they were already suffering from another ailment. As far as he knew, the longest a patient had ever lived with the disease was a magister's son. His family spared no expense, and he managed to live ten years with the infection. Slaves who caught it weren't that lucky. Most slave owners in Tevinter didn't even bother to treat the infected. They had no use for sick slaves, let alone go through the trouble of providing expensive medicines or magical treatment. It was far simpler to just get rid of them.

He looked at her.

Now he could place her physical state; the infection was eating at her. Slowly consuming her. Bringing her closer to death with each passing day. Not knowing what to say, he took another drink. He was terrible with these kinds of situations. Remaining silent, he passed her back the bottle.

Taking another drink, Yssil continued. “I am close to the last stage. The healer said I have maybe one year left, two if I am lucky and survive this winter.” Letting out another sigh, she put the bottle down in between them. “I was often sick when I was a slave. Weak from the blood loss and poor living conditions, I was not able to fight of diseases. Three winters ago, I got a severe lung infection that never went away. It was the Waning. I have been gradually growing sicker and thinner these past years. When I was held captive, I got some medicine, but I haven't been able to keep that up since my escape. Being on the run with no real funds to support myself...” She shook her head. “I know this is the beginning of the end.” She held out the satchel that contained a mixture of herbs. “The healer gave me something to ease my cough but couldn't do much else.”

Fenris stared at her; he couldn't imagine how it felt to know how much time you had left. To have a body that was slowly failing and waning away.

“Maybe we can find another healer, someone more experienced.”

“Magic won't have much effect on me unless it is from a strong source, and I have not the money to afford expensive medicines.” She looked at him and smiled. “But thank you for the thought.” She took the bottle again. “At least we are free from the clutches of Tevinter. Let's drink that there lies a whole landmass between us and Minrathous.”

They drank and watched the sunset. After a while, they gathered some wood to make camp against the dunes. Sitting at the small fire and watching the waves had a calming effect on Yssil. The alcohol also did its job, and she felt a pleasant buzz in her head. Watching the ocean made her think of the time spent with her parents. When they camped on the beach on warm summer days. “I forgot how this feels.”

“Feels like what?” Fenris asked.

“To sit on the beach. I was eleven when they took me and my father. We were on a family outing when we stumbled on a group of slavers. They were just bringing their catch on board a ship, and there was enough room for a few more elves. My father tried to fight them off, but they were too many. My mother died by saving me from a stray arrow. She pushed me out of the way and got hit instead. Not that they would have taken her. She had a lame leg, and you know as well as I that there is no money in defective goods.”

She took another drink. “Now, knowing what happens to slaves, I am glad she died. I can't bear to imagine what her life would be like if they took her and made her the crew's entertainment.” A sad smile formed on her lips. “It almost feels surreal to sit here now, even after two years of freedom.”

Fenris hummed in understanding.

“Some days, it feels like I am still back there.” She continued. “As if this freedom is just a far-fetched dream. Do you sometimes feel like that too?”

“Some days. It is hard to shake off that life. It was all I knew, and I had nothing to compare it to.”

“Were you born in Danarius' household?”

He didn't know if the alcohol was to blame or if it was being able to have an open conversation with someone who understood. Whatever the reason, he answered her before he could think. “I wouldn't know.” He turned his arm and stared at the palm of his hand where the lyrium lines reflected the light of the fire. “When I received these markings, the lyrium burned into my flesh. The pain was extraordinary; it wiped everything away. What life I had before is lost; all the memories I had before are gone.”

A little reluctantly, he glanced at her. She stared at him, and he could tell she was shocked.

“That's horrible!” she said.

Fenris instantly regretted that he had told her, and he prepared himself for the wave of pity she would shower him in, but to his surprise, her expression turned to one of anger instead as she let out a string of Tevinter curses.

“What gives them the right?” Yssil asked angrily. “What gives them the right to do this? To torture you in such a way just to get a 'pet'-project to show off. To carve up my arms and bleed me dry for some stupid magic trick. To possess slaves in the first place.”

Bitterly she stared towards the ocean that sparkled under the faint moonlight. “I just can't understand how anyone can do this to another person.” She looked back at him. “They still hurt, don't they?” He narrowed his eyes at her. “How do you know?”

“I noticed the irritation of the skin around them when I treated your wounds. It is no wonder, having a foreign substance burned into you that can be charged with energy. Honestly. I'm surprised you are alive with so much of that poison edged in your skin.”

“I know nothing of the ritual that created them. All I remember is unimaginable pain. But to answer your question, yes, they still hurt. Some days are better than others, but the memory of the pain always lingers.”

“Bastards!” She coughed. Leaning against her pulled-up knees, she watched him. “You know, even if there comes a day when we get to kill our former masters, it can never repay what they have done to us and countless others. It would be a start, but it will never reflect the pain we suffered and are still suffering. Maybe you can do that thing of yours and slowly pull out Danarius' heart.”

Hearing her say this made him smirk vindictively. “That is my intention.” Curious, he asked. “What would you do to your former master if you got the chance?”

“Strip him down and bind him, spread like a starfish, so he can't move. Then cut his arms and legs like he cut me. I would watch him slowly getting weaker. Then I would release a drove of hungry pigs and let him be eaten alive until nothing is left.”

Fenris was surprised by her swift answer. Seeing his reaction, Yssil hid her face against her knees.

“I know it is terrible to wish that on someone,” she spoke softly.

“He deserves it, I imagine.”

Her face still buried away, she mumbled. “I... I was nothing more like a piece of cattle to him.”

He could hear that she was fighting with her emotions. Like him, she had been hurt, treated in ways no living being should. Against his own distaste for touching others and being touched himself, he reached out to her and shortly squeezed her shoulder. To let her know she wasn't alone.

She sniffed and looked back at him, smiling in understanding. He gave her the bottle they shared, and she took another drink. Judging by its weight, they had already drunk most of its content. Suddenly she huffed a laugh which made her cough. He looked at her, wondering what was so funny at the moment.

“I always imagine ridiculous things about Vesuvius to make me feel better. It takes away my fear, makes him less formidable.” She could see he didn't know what she meant. “What is Danarius like? Is he a vain person?”

Fenris nodded. “He is incredibly vain and proud like all magisters.”

“What does he look like?”

“He is an older man, pale skin with grey hair and a full beard. He has cruel cold grey eyes.”

“So we could knock him out, dye his hair pink, shave his beard in a weird patchwork and wax his eyebrows.”

This made Fenris sputter his drink out. Shocked, he looked at her.

“See, it helps.” She grins at him. “Imagine him going like that to the magisterium.”

He shook his head and breathed a laugh.

“Whenever I have a bad day, I imagine something different,” she continued. “You can get very creative once you start.”

Fenris smiled, imagining the embarrassment Danarius would suffer if that ever happened, and for the first time, the thought of his former master wasn't filled with hatred, anger and fear. Shortly after, they went to bed; both lightly drunk, they fell into a deep sleep.

They continued their journey to Kirkwall. As the days went by, the trust and companionship in each other deepened. They avoided other travellers where they could and took their time to collect eatable plants. Yssil even managed to trade for a chicken with a local farmer they passed. The days were peaceful, almost pleasant if it weren't for the weather. They were regularly dowsed by rainstorms and the nights were chill and wet when they couldn't find a shelter. Though they had the aid of a horse, Fenris noticed that the journey took its toll on Yssil. Her cough was getting worse despite the tea she drank. She had low energy and was often sleepy. It made him worry. Though he still had some reservations about her being a mage, she was no longer a stranger to him. Rather, someone he could rely on and talk to. He had shared things with her he hadn't told anyone since his time with the Fog Warriors. And he had to admit it felt comfortable to have her as his companion, someone who understood what it meant to be a slave. She didn't ask stupid questions about it and, more importantly, didn't pity him because of it.

As they came closer to Kirkwall, the roads got busier, and they decided to travel along one of the many side roads along the coast. It was a little d-tour from the direct way to Kirkwall, but it was more secluded, and they would avoid unwanted eyes.

Evening was approaching, and Fenris was following a road close to the rocky shore of the Waking Sea. They were slowly going up in elevation, and the cliffs along the coast were getting steeper the closer they came to Kirkwall. Occasionally they would pass small paths that led down to sandy beaches hidden between the rocks. It was a cold day with a brisk wind coming from the ocean. He glanced at Yssil, who was fast asleep against his chest. She was feverish, and Fenris hoped they would reach Kirkwall soon so they might find another healer who could help her. He knew that the elite in Tevinter used all sorts of potions and herbal medicines to treat the Waning, and he suspected those were also available here in the South. Surely in a city as big as Kirkwall, they could find someone who could help.

Looking at Yssil, he thought back at their last conversation about the Circles. She had an interesting view about them. It didn't change his opinion about their necessity of them, but it made him contemplate his stance. He could tell she was strongly influenced by how things were done in Rivain. She agreed with him that magic was a dangerous power that could do horrible things if wielded by the wrong hands. Her stance was that all who had magical talent should be educated by those who were more experienced. Like among the seers in Rivain or the Keepers of the Dalish. There the older generation taught their craft and knowledge to the next. And, more importantly, the responsibility that came with such power. She disagreed firmly with the opinion of the South that magic made you a dangerous monster that had to be locked away. Her view was that Circles could function like big schools where everyone was welcome. It would take away the fear every mage had of being caught by the templars and punished for something they were born with. She confessed that her opinion of templars was based on her own encounters, which were all bad. They judged her a dangerous blood mage even before she could explain herself.

She also didn't see the point as to why mages had to be locked up. If they had finished their education and succeeded, she saw no reason they couldn't leave the Circles, visit family, or start families of their own. Templars could still function as a safety net to make checkups and hunt down those who slid off the straight path. Those who couldn't master their craft could choose to stay in special housing under supervision, but they shouldn't be permanently imprisoned or mutilated by making them tranquil. She herself would rather die than be made an emotionless doll.

If the Circles were different, she confessed she wouldn't object to going in one herself. She knew she could use a lot more education about her abilities and how to handle them safely. But with how things were, she would be killed or be made tranquil out of fear she was a blood mage just because of her scars. And after her life as a slave she didn't want to trade her freedom for another prison again.

She had sighed and shared with him that if she had somewhat recuperated, she might try and travel back to Rivain. At least there, she wouldn't need to fear being killed by random templars.

The whole conversation made Fenris think. It was true that Rivain had a system of functioning mages that lived among society. Their traditions were deeply interwoven with the craft of the seers, and such women held revered positions. Until now, they had managed to function without mages ruling over the masses like in Tevinter. Though he feared the worst if the Chantry would let loose their control over the Circles and its mages. In his experience, greed and the need for more power were as old as time itself. History was filled with the ambitions and cruelty of many tyrants. Some of them, mages. Tevinter history was drenched with the foolish deeds of mages accompanied by the death of thousands. The most foolish one was trying to reach the golden city in the Fade.

His few encounters with mages here in the South did little to reassure him that they could be trusted. Maleficar, dwelling in forbidden arts, allies of bandits and outlaws. They reaffirmed his stance toward magic again and again. Yet looking at Yssil, he wondered. He knew she didn't deserve to be killed out of fear. Was being a mage enough reason to be denied a family? Listening to her and seeing how she conducted herself, he wasn't so sure anymore.

He would wait and observe, knowing he would be ready if things changed.

Fenris spotted a place they could make camp.

“Yssil. Yssil!” he called to wake her up.

Yssil jolted awake, surprised that the sun already hung low in the sky. A little drowsy, she looked around.

He dismounted first, but before she could follow, they heard a child screaming.

From between some rocks came an elven boy running with his hands bound. A man was close behind him in pursuit of the boy. Fenris immediately recognised the shackles hanging from the man's belt. It was a slaver. Jumping in action, he rushed the man. With a few hits from his sword, he was killed. In the meanwhile, Yssil had jumped from the horse and caught the boy, who was in tears. He couldn't be older than ten.

“They have my mother!” the boy cried while she freed his hands.

“Where?” Fenris growled.

“In a cave, down at the beach!”

Before Yssil could stop him, the boy ran back towards the small path he came from.

“Stay here!” Fenris said and ran after him.

“Wait!” she yelled in vain, but Fenris disappeared.

For a few seconds, she stood there, not knowing what to do. Cursing loudly, she grabbed their bags, hid them off the road, and secured the horse. The whole time she kept glancing at the path Fenris had taken.

Why did he go alone after who knew how many slavers? It was reckless and dangerous. She grabbed the short sword she had been using and hurried down to the beach. Hoping he was okay.

Being sick, she wasn't as fast as usual, and by the time she reached the beach, it was empty and silent. Panting heavily, Yssil looked around; she felt a heavy pressure in her lungs as if someone was pushing down on her ribcage, preventing her from getting enough air. Feeling dizzy, she spotted a trail of footprints that had kicked up the wet sand. It led her further down the beach towards a cave entrance. Two slavers lay dead on the ground in front of it. Anxiously Yssil grabbed her sword. She didn't like this situation at all. Listening intensely, she heard nothing but the ocean waves behind her. Afraid of the possibility she could be captured again, she went inside, hoping to find Fenris quickly so they could leave this place.

It was a naturally formed cave but had been expanded with man-made passages and chambers. The first chamber Yssil passed was a guard area. Fenris had clearly been through here. A handful of men lay on the ground; most were dead, but two were still alive and wounded. One had managed to crawl to a supply chest and was grabbing a healing potion. She grabbed his head and slit his throat before he could heal himself. She dealt the same way with the other one. With her new brace around her arm, she had more support, and it didn't hurt as much. Though she still felt the strain on her injury. Not that she had many options. She couldn't possibly let these men get back on their feet.

Suddenly a scream startled her, coming from further down the complex. It was faint and more an echo than a clear sound. She didn't like this situation at all.

“Shit,” she mumbled.

Grabbing a better, sharper, lighter short sword from one of the bodies and the three healing potions from the chest, she carefully went deeper into the cave. She followed a winding path of passages finding a couple more men. As before, she slit the throats of those who were still breathing. Fenris had clearly opted for speed, incapacitating his opponents in his rage, rather than making sure they were actually dead. She came upon a junction. To her right, she saw a large chamber with cages containing bound people who were riled up.

“Help! Help us!” they called out to her.

To her left was the living space of the slavers. Fenris had also gone through this place like a whirlwind. She was about to quickly check the bodies in the hallway to make sure they were dead when she heard a child scream from the room to her left. The elven boy she had met earlier was inside, struggling to get free from the hands of a slaver who was still alive. Though he was wounded, he had managed to stand up again. When he saw her, he pulled his knife and held it against the child's face.

“Another rat. Drop your weapon, wench, or I kill the boy.”

Yssil's reaction was immediate. She used her force magic to slam the slaver against the wall. Though her aim was off and she accidentally toppled the boy also. He fell hard to the ground with a yelp but at least he was free from the slaver. Not having the time to waste on the boy, she sprinted towards the man and slashed him across his face. He screamed in agony as blood poured down his face, blinding him. Unable to see her next move, he reacted to slow as she slit his throat. Spraying blood all over her.

In the meantime, the boy struggled back to his feet. “My mother! Please help her!” he pleaded with her.

Yssil ignored him and first checked the remaining men if they were dead. She had just finished with the last one when she felt a tuck at her clothes. She whirled around but halted when she saw it was the boy. His face was wet with tears and snot as he wailed.

“Please help,” and pointed towards the room with the cages.

For a few seconds, Yssil hesitated. She wanted to go after Fenris as quickly as possible, but by freeing the prisoners, she would have more allies to fight against the slavers. And she had no idea how many more there were. Quickly she scanned the room and spotted three sets of keys hanging beside the door. Grabbing them and a few knives, she hurried towards the cages with the boy in close pursuit.

“Yes! Quickly free us! Help!” the prisoners called.

Yssil tossed the knives inside the cages so they could free their bound hands. Finding the right key took a few tries, but eventually, she managed to open the cage.

“Grab weapons!” She yelled while hurrying to the second cage that opened with the same key.

The prisoners immediately grabbed a few weapons that lay around, but instead of waiting around and aiding her, they started to run for the exit.

“Wait!” She yelled. “Help us! My friend is still fighting the slavers.”

But she was ignored and pushed to the side.

“Cowards!” Yssil muttered. What a waste of time. Fenris was fighting all this time alone. She quickly went in the opposite direction, deeper into caverns. She passed a few more rooms, mostly filled with crates full of smuggled goods. Suddenly she heard yelling not that far away.

“Quick! Get more men and the sedatives. I hold him.”

Yssil halted her step as fear gripped her. They could talk about one person only, and that was Fenris. Alarmed, she rushed forward and entered a big cavern with an opening to the waterfront. The cave was filled with several stacks of crates. A couple of small boats lay at a dock, and the cavern opened up to a secluded bay, ideal for a bigger ship to anchor and take on the cargo. She was relieved that she didn't see a slaver's ship in the bay because facing a whole crew of sailors and slavers would be fatal. As it was, there was already trouble enough.

Fenris had cut his way through the men like a madman. Now he was wounded and trapped in a magical cage created by a mage. She could see him struggle, but the mage tightened his grip with a flick of his wrist. Several men lie dead on the ground, but three still remained. One was wounded and struggling to stay on his feet. The other two did as the mage ordered and came running towards the cave's entrance in the direction of Yssil.

They hadn't noticed her yet, but she doubted she could defeat them without aid. Panicked, she looked around. Crates were standing all around her, and she quickly hid behind a stack of them. Quietly she waited for the two men rushing past her.

Knowing she hadn't much time, Yssil sneaked between the crates towards the remaining man and the mage. Afraid the others would return soon, she set fire to the slaver and rushed the mage sword in hand.

The man screamed in agony as the fire consumed him. It startled the mage but having far more experience than her, he immediately had his next spell ready. A stone fist crashed into her chest, knocking her backwards.

Struggling to get air, she pushed herself back to her feet. The mage grinned at her, already conjuring another spell. Out of instinct, she threw her magic against him, throwing him off his feet on his back. Knowing she wouldn't stand a chance against an experienced mage, she leapt forward in an act of desperation. She landed with her knees onto him and began stabbing him over and over again with her sword. The man groaned as her knees crashed into his stomach. He tried to fend her attacks off, getting cuts on his hands and arms. But Yssil got lucky and managed to hit him in his chest. Blood gushed out of his wound, and he bled out while she kept stabbing him. She only stopped when the spell holding Fenris fizzled, and he came free with a roar.

He glared at her furiously, grabbed his weapon and sped back in the direction the two remaining men had vanished in, leaving her behind.

Stunned by the succession of events, Yssil sat on top of the mage's corps. Only now, she was aware of the pain in her chest. Every breath she took hurt, intensifying into a stabbing pain as she coughed, spitting out blood.

Now she was gripped with another kind of fear. She stumbled to her feet. Feverishly she patted her pockets for the healing potions she had found earlier, smearing more blood onto her blood-splattered clothes. Her hands trembled as she finally found them. With the taste of blood in her mouth, she swallowed one down. She could feel how the potion tried to do its job, but like always, the effects were slow. She feared she had done more unrepairable damage to her lungs.

A scream of a dying man sounded in the distance. Gritting her teeth, she made her way back into the cavern, hoping to find Fenris and leave this place.

With a vengeance, Fenris slashed the last slaver almost in half. He was seething, angry that a mage managed to trap him and that a mage had freed him. A small voice in his mind told him Yssil was more than just a mage, but in his anger, he couldn't think clearly. With each slaver he encountered, his anger only grew. They all needed to be eradicated, taken down like vermin.

Now with them all dead, his anger didn't diminish. He was angry that they existed in the first place. That this world allowed slavery to happen. The memories of his life consumed him, the humiliation and degradation he lived through. They deserved to die. All of them.

Not paying much attention to where he went, he had left the cave again, and now he stood alone on the beach. He took a deep breath, trying to calm down. Looking around, he noticed many hasty footprints leading away from the cavern. Yssil must have freed the captured people. Not that he cared about them in particular. They were just people to him. Speaking of Yssil, he heard her calling for him.

“Fenris?”

He wasn't ready to talk. Hearing her refuelled parts of his anger. He was angry with himself, angry that he had needed her help again. Angry that he was indebting himself to a mage. A mage he still wasn't sure about. Not wanting to talk to her, he walked away up the path back towards the horse.

“Fenris, wait!”

Yssil was out of breath, trying to catch up to him. She stopped holding her side. Her chest was hurting, and as she coughed, she felt a stabbing pain in her side. She had to spit out more blood, though it was less than before. She watched Fenris climb back up the path without looking back.

“Great. Thank you for saving me from that mage,” she muttered mockingly and took a second healing potion. “Of course. No, I am all right. Thank you for asking.....”

She sighed and noticed the pain was residing. At last, the potions took effect. She took a minute to wash the blood from her hands and feet and climbed back up the path.

Fenris was back at the spot where he killed the first slaver. He expected to find their horse there, but to his irritation, it was gone. He looked up and down the road, but there was no sign of it. It was gone along with all their belongings. In the back of his mind, he reminded himself that they were only things. It wasn’t the first time he had lost his belongings, but in his current mood, it was flaming his anger.

There was movement further along the road. A couple of the freed people were slowly approaching him. He recognised the child among them, clutching the hand of his mother.

“Are they dead?” the woman asked hesitantly. “Are we safe?”

He recognised the hope the people emitted. They hoped he would give them protection. That he would travel with them until they reached the safety of Kirkwall or another settlement.

No. No. NO! He thought and shook his head.

“What do you want?!” he yelled at them. It had the desired effect. They stopped in their tracks.

“We....” the woman began, but Fenris didn’t give her a chance.

“You are free. Be grateful you are not on a ship already. I don’t want anything to do with you. I didn’t kill the slavers to free you. I killed them because they deserved to die. NOW LEAVE!!”

His markings flashed as he yelled, and they quickly left.

Fenris stood there breathing heavily. The rush from the combat was over, and he could feel the effects of the crushing prison on his body. His markings felt like they were on fire, and he was aware that he still was bleeding from a nasty cut on his arm.

“Fenris?”

Yssil had finally caught up with him, and he whirled around to face her.

“You! Why did you follow me?” he glared at her.

She paused, taken back by his raised voice. But it took her only a moment to return his glare.

“Excuse me for not wanting you to face a group of slavers alone.”

“I had everything under control.”

“NO, you didn’t. You left a trail of wounded people behind, and if they had managed to drug you. You would now be tied down, waiting for a ship to take you back.”

His glare intensified, and Yssil recognised the anger. It was the same that made him almost choke her. She took a breath to calm herself. As angry as she was, she knew that yelling wouldn’t solve anything.

“You’re hurt. Come, we need to treat that wound.”

“Don’t touch me, mage!”

The moment he said it, he knew he was in the wrong. He could tell that his words stung her.

Looking hurt, she glared at him. “My name is Yssil. And excuse me for being worried about your wellbeing.”

“I won’t be ordered around.”

“That wasn’t an order. I just don’t want to see a friend hurt.”

Fenris’ thoughts stopped. A friend?

“Look,” she continued. “I agree that we needed to stop the slavers, but we could have worked together and maybe not be this beaten up at the end.” She reached the last healing potion to him. “You are no longer alone. I know you aren’t used to having a partner. But I am here to help.”

Fenris, still shocked, she considered him a friend mulled over her words. He hated to admit that she was right. It had been reckless to take on the slavers alone. Though he didn’t like that she had to save him, he knew he would have been in serious trouble if she hadn’t come after him. But accepting her as a partner... as a friend...

He took the healing potion and swallowed its contents. It took effect immediately but didn’t completely cure the cut on his arm. They needed bandages. He looked at Yssil long and hard, weighing his options. To her credit, she held her own and stared right back at him. He saw the determination in her eyes. She meant it that they were in this together. She gave him an encouraging smile as if she was confident they would make the best of this mess.

He sighed. “We will need to get back to that cave to get new supplies.”

“No, that won’t be necessary. I hope they didn’t take our bags.” she walked to where she had hidden them. “Everything is still here,” she called to him. “Well, everything except the horse.”

Looking at the sky, they didn’t have much daylight left. Fenris walked towards her and grabbed everything. “Let’s find a place to make a cold camp off the road. There could be more slavers on their way, and I don’t want to be ambushed in the night.”

“Good idea. Let’s sort our things in the morning. We won’t be able to take everything.”

They walked a little further, off the road as long as the light permitted it, and settled down in a hidden ditch. Yssil immediately took out her supplies to bandage Fenris' arm. As she washed his wound, his markings gave a faint flash, and he clenched his teeth out of discomfort.

“Did I hurt you?” she asked, alarmed by his reaction.

“No... Just continue.”

“But your markings?”

“It is the aftermath of the magic that was used on me.”

“I will make it quick.”

She coughed, and Fenris could hear she was more out of breath. He also remembered she was feverish before their encounter with the slavers. “Are you all right?”

“I took a hit to the chest, so no.” he could hear in her tone that she was still irritated about the situation. “But I took a healing potion.” she finished with his bandage. “It will be all right once I have slept.”

#dragon age #dragon age 2 #The Splintered Road #fenris #fenris dragon age #fenris x oc #fanfic

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dinosaurtsukki · 3 years

Text

⸺𝓉𝓇𝒶𝒸𝓀 27: i should be over all the butterflies (finale)

i should be over all the butterflies | a chuuya x gn!reader smau

a/n: wow, so here's another smau coming to a close. this ended up being much longer than i thought it would be but it was entertaining to write until the very end. i hope you guys like the final chapter and please let me know what you think of it !!

also, i'm sure some of you have been curious about the title. well, it's actually based on the song 'still into you' by paramore. when i first listened to that song i kinda imagined vocalist!chuuya (it's because of the orange hair). if you like, give it a listen while reading this last chapter

ever since he first started performing with the mafia dogs, chuuya had never felt stage fright or even remotely anxious before singing onstage. he even surprised himself when he came to the realization that performing was just second-nature to him.

but god was he nervous now.

usually, he was the one who hyped up the crowd before playing but right now, chuuya busied himself with fiddling with the height of the mic stand as tachihara and dazai took on the role.

"hey everyone!" dazai yelled into the microphone. the crowd in front of the stage cheered in unison.

"you may know us as the mafia dogs," tachihara continued. "but right now, you can think of us as the newest members of the journalism club."

"yeah, we actually just sent our application forms earlier," dazai laughed, glancing sideways at chuuya with a look that expressed 'dude, your turn to say something.'

"so, uh," chuuya cleared his throat. "we're actually going to perform a new song."

the crowd cheered once again and that put a smile on his face. he scanned the people standing in the front row until his eyes landed on you. chuuya bit back a laugh at the matching mustard shirt and pants you were wearing that made it impossible for him to spot. right beside you was ranpo, in crutches but mostly leaning on oda for support.

chuuya took in a deep breath and calmed himself down. having akutagawa right next to him, who looked the happiest he's ever been as he fiddled with the buttons on his keytar, definitely helped.

"this song is actually dedicated to someone. well, two people," chuuya clarified after exchanging a look with dazai. "and, i hope our thoughts come across in this song."

chuuya nodded at dazai and akutagawa, feeling his breath swell in his chest as he began to sing.

"can't count the years in one hand that we've been together. i need the other one to hold you, make you feel, make you feel better"

the roar of the audience gave chuuya a surge of confidence and he grinned widely as he continued to sing. it was always a bit nerve-wracking performing a new song and hoping their fans would like it. after all, he and dazai just poured out their raw emotions into the lyrics and hoped for the best.

for a split-second, chuuya's eyes darted over to make you out in the front row of the crowd again. was that a grin on your face or was he just imagining things? chuuya tried not to let the anxiety grip him.

"because after all this time, i'm still into you"

but at the end of the day, chuuya knew he would "perish and die", in the words of dazai, if he never let you know how he felt.

"i should be over all the butterflies but i'm into you. and baby even on our worst nights, i'm into you."

chuuya could tell that everyone was getting into the song by the time the chorus hit. the audience was jumping up and down in unison to the beat. dazai was leaning into the microphone singing the back-up vocals. tachihara had a wide, gleeful grin on his face he played the drums. even akutagawa was bobbing his head up and down to the music.

seeing all of them getting into the song gave chuuya just a bit of courage to lock eyes with you in the crowd as he sang the next line that condense all of his feelings.

"yeah after all this time, i'm still into you."

...

as soon as the mafia dogs started playing the song, one of the first thoughts in your head was "damn, chuuya's pants look really tight" and then "damn, chuuya looks really good onstage."

you've known him practically your whole life and even though back then he demonstrated no inclination at all for being a band vocalist, it looked like chuuya was born to be one. on the one hand, you felt bad that you two weren't close for the past few years. you would have enjoyed watching their earlier band practices and showing up for his first gig or watching him brainstorm new songs.

but getting to know chuuya again, especially this side of him, wasn't so bad. he was your best friend after all. and thanks to that little introduction he made before singing the song, chuuya's intentions were now clear as day to you.

"let them wonder how we got this far 'cause i don't even need to wonder at all"

you weren't sure if he could make you out in front of the crowd all, even if your mustard ensemble, much less see the expression on your face. there were probably hundreds of students in the campus square all watching and cheering to the mafia dogs' new song. but maybe, just maybe--

and there.

chuuya unmistakably met your gaze in the crowd and you smiled broadly at him in return as he ended the first chorus.

"yeah after all this time, i'm still into you"

'jesus christ, chuuya,' you thought as you smiled to yourself. 'you could have just sent me a text.'

...

"just so we're clear... you do know the song is dedicated to you, right?" ranpo said.

"i'm not that fucking dumb," you scoffed, flicking him on the forehead. right after the talent show, the three of you gathered near a bench just outside your dorm building. the crowds were slowly starting to thin out as well.

"is it... safe to assume that," oda spoke slowly beside him. you laughed slightly at the apparent hesitancy in his voice. "the other person is... me?"

"oda, i'm proud of you," ranpo grinned, clapping him on the shoulder. as if on cue, a text notification from oda's phone rang.

"you should take that like, right now," you insisted.

"really?" oda looked between you and ranpo. "do you need help with--?"

"i'll make it up the stairs on my own," ranpo huffed. "i'm not that helpless you know."

"right," you rolled your eyes. "says the guy who--"

"uh, y/n?"

you turned around to see chuuya approaching the three of you with his hands in his pockets and his guitar in its case on his shoulder. ranpo pushed you slightly forward before hurrying back to the dorm building in his crutches. oda waved goodbye before heading off in the other direction, leaving you and chuuya.

"so."

"nice... outfit," chuuya nodded at your shirt and pants.

"well, i've always had a thing for monochrome," you laughed, placing your hands on your hips. "look at your outfit though. i mean, can you even breathe in those pants?"

"not going to lie, i almost passed out on stage," chuuya joked and the two of you laughed in unison. "so... what did you think about the song?"

"hmm," you cocked your head to the side. "i think that whoever that song is dedicated to must be very lucky."

"really? then does that mean--"

"ranpo would absolutely love to be your boyfriend. or tachihara's. or is it akutagawa?" you interrupted him. chuuya stared at you with his mouth open before you burst into laughter.

"you should have seen the look on your face!" you pointed teasingly. "like your mouth was all open and everything. i gotta say chuuya i really--"

before you could even finish your sentence, chuuya had wrapped a finger around one of the belt loops of your mustard pants, pulling you close and kissing you right on the lips. instinctively, your arms wrapped around his neck and you felt both of chuuya's hands on your waist.

"you should see the look on your face," he whispered in a low voice as soon as you two parted. the smirk on his lips was enough to make you want to cover your face with your hands.

"i hate you chuuya," you whispered back much to his amusement.

"oh yeah, it sure seemed like you do." he flicked you on the forehead for good measure before walking off, leaving you to catch up to him.

"hey, hey. how did that song go again?" you asked, skipping next to chuuya. "i should be over all the butterflies... it's pretty catchy! you're gonna sing it for me again, right?"

"i literally just sang it for you."

"aw but i want one that's just for me. please chuuya?"

"...fine. maybe tomorrow."

a/n: and that is the end of the series! what happens to the characters next is all up to you guys (i do love an open ending for my fics). let me know what you all think and thank you for reading my series!

⸺𝓉𝒶𝑔𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉

@kiyoobi @atsumusdomain @laure-chan @goodfoodxoxoxo @guardianangelswings @kei-ya @loisuke @whootwhoot @liz-multifandom-hotel @kac-chowsballs @violentfarewll @fyoyacanruinmylifethanks @nightmare-light @miyakiyo0mi @whorefordazai @rirk-ke @cross-crye @alohablue @duhsies @alittlesimp @tetsustation @https-inarizaki @himboos @magpiemissy @hanazou @monochromaticelliot

reblogs and comments are much appreciated

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goldensugarywaffles · 2 years

Text

Happiness

Summary: He always had to put you second. Your careers to important to risk over love. But one day, he stopped caring.

Paring: idol x idol reader

Warnings: None really. Maybe like some mean phrases?

Author’s Note: I was listening to Dimple by BTS and thought “Imagine being kissed during that high note after the bridge” and here we are. This is just a drabble nothing impressive. I thought it would be nice to post something fluffy before dropping the next chapter of Curiosity killed the Cat. (I’ll probably start abbreviating to CKC). Hopefully, you’ll enjoy it.

The first thing I noticed was her. She walked through the rainy streets of Seoul, pulling her hat further down over her face. I couldn’t help the smile that grew on my face. I adjusted my mask and sped up. I wanted nothing more than to hug her and walk hand and hand through the rain like every other couple. However, that wasn’t the path we chose. Our careers were always first. Never in my life did I think I would have to sacrifice my love for my passion. Love or life? Music or my muse? Fame or freedom? It wasn’t a choice anymore. When I signed that contract with the company, I signed my life away with it. She did the same. We came to a crosswalk together, and she looked up at me. Though I couldn’t see her face behind her mask, I could see the smile in her eyes. She subtly brushed her hand against mine, and I returned the gesture. I fought every bone in my body to keep myself from kissing her, hugging her, even just holding her hand.

The crosswalk signaled that we could walk across, and I walked a few steps behind her to avoid suspicion. As we were walking, I heard whispers rippling through the crowd. Then, I think I heard the click of a camera. The whispers turned into shouts, and one flash of a camera turned into twenty. Soon we found ourselves sprinting away from mobs of people and so-called ‘fans.’ We ran about three blocks until we were surrounded. The look of panic on her face was unmistakable even with her mask. I took off my mask, no longer feeling the need for it since I was already caught. She did the same. The mob of people only got louder. Are you dating her? What do you see in him? You’re too fat for him! Why would you want her? You’re not man enough for her!

I took a deep breath swallowing my anger with it. Am I not allowed to love? Can we not be happy? Did we hurt anyone with our relationship? Is it illegal to love? My mind was reeling with thoughts that all led up to one question. Why? My thoughts stopped when I felt someone grab my hand. It was her. I instantly relaxed. It didn’t matter what they said; I had her. I turned towards her giving her all my attention. I didn’t need anyone else. I would throw away my whole career for her. In fact, I wanted to throw it away. But, if that meant I could have all her love for the rest of my life, I would do it, and I did.

Without a second thought, I cupped her face and pulled her in. I kissed her in front of what felt like the whole world. Do you know what made it so much better? She kissed me back. Without hesitation or regret, she kissed me back, exchanging her entire world for me. For at least ten seconds, I thought we were the only two on this planet. When we pulled apart, cameras flashed, and the screams were deafening. I couldn’t care less. I grabbed her hand and ran like my life depended on it. It probably did. As we ran, I could hear her laughing behind me. “What did we just do?” she asked. I could only run faster in response. What did we do? We finally chose the right path. We chose happiness. And you know what? I would do it again every time.

#bts #Monsta X #stray kids #kpop #kpop fluff #kpop fanfic #monsta x fanfic #bts fanfic #stray kids fanfic #idolverse #idol reader #idol x idol #fluff #fanfiction

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dreamwritesimagines · 3 years

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Twisted 16 - Bloody City [Spencer Reid x Reader]

A.N.: Thank you so much for your wonderful support my loves! Here’s the next chapter, I hope you will like it as well, and please let me know what you think of it! ❤❤ Ily, kisses! ❤❤❤

Series Masterlist

Warnings: Murder, serial killers, violence, manipulation, mentions of sex, drinking, smoking, blood.

Word Count: 3000

Summary: Threats come closer.

The room was so silent that you could swear even your heartbeat was audible. You tried to think through the panic running through your veins, but it was nearly impossible.

He wasn’t supposed to find out about that.

You weren’t a profiler, but you didn’t need to be one to understand how betrayed he felt at the moment. He looked completely frozen, his sharp glare giving you goosebumps.

He had never looked at you like that before, and the anger in his eyes was more than enough to pin you to your spot.

“Spencer,” you managed you say, your voice way too weak, “I can explain.”

Silence.

“I didn’t—“ you stammered, “I didn’t read it. I would never.”

He just kept his gaze on you, raising his brows as if he didn’t believe a word you said and you wetted your lips.

“Where did you find it?”

That managed to draw a reaction from him, at least. He scoffed a dry laugh, shaking his head.

“That’s what you’re asking me right now?” he asked, “It was under the magazines on the coffee table, I thought it was one of mine.”

You cursed under your breath, closing your eyes for a moment. Of course your mother would put it there for you to take a look at it in case you wanted to.

“So?” he said, nodding at the folder lying on the kitchen island, “Do you want to tell me why you have a file on me?”

“It’s not mine.”

The bitter smile on his face was almost amused at your pathetic attempt, and it hit you right at that moment, there was no way you could talk your way out of this. This was what he did for a living, and he could tear your whole list of excuses apart, picking holes in it one by one.

“Try again.”

So people felt exactly like this when he was interrogating them. It was like his whole personality had just changed right in front of your eyes, and you weren’t even sure that you knew this person standing in front of you.

“I mean,” you swallowed thickly, “Okay, it’s technically mine. But I can explain why I have it.”

“You can?”

You pushed your hair behind your ear, your hands restless for some reason.

“The other day,” you started, “After we…. Well, when you were in Ohio, my mom dropped by. She already has a key and well, you’ve met her, she comes and goes as she pleases. I told her not to numerous times, but—“

“That’s not what I asked.”

You nodded, clearing your throat.

“Right, yeah,” you said, wringing your hands, “Um, she has this P.I.”

“You mean your family has a P.I.?” he corrected you, “Philip, you said? It’s not just your mother who uses him, you told me so yourself.”

You cussed at yourself in your head and bit on your lip, “Yeah. Yeah but he—he usually works for my mother. She’s overprotective, especially after my dad she became quite paranoid with the type of people me and Mina date. Anyways, she came here that morning, and she had this file but I didn’t read it,” you shook your head fervently, “I would never.”

He tilted his head, humoring you, “Oh you didn’t read it?”

“No, of course not—“

“Why did you keep it then?”

“I didn’t keep it,” you said, “I had to leave in a hurry so I left my mom here and I swear to you I told her to throw it away. I thought she did, I didn’t see it before just now. I wouldn’t keep it if I knew—“

“Did you know she was going to do it?” he cut you off as if he wasn’t in the mood to listen to your excuses, “Put a P.I. on me?”

You opened your mouth to say no, then the memory of her saying that at the brunch flashed in your mind, making you shut your eyes for a second before looking up at him.

That was enough of an answer for him.

“You knew?” he asked, barely controlling the fury in his voice, “You knew but you didn’t tell me?”

“She mentioned it in passing but I didn’t take her seriously,” you said quickly, “I didn’t think she would actually do it, that’s why I didn’t tell you!”

He let out a humorless laugh and walked to grab his satchel while you stood there, unable to even breathe right as your heart pounded in your ears.

“Where are you going?”

“Out,” he said curtly, “I’ll break your heart if I stay here any longer.”

“Spencer please, we need to talk about it—”

“Talk about it?” he repeated, “Why? So that you can give me more bullshit excuses?”

To that, you honestly had nothing to say.

“I would’ve told you whatever you wanted to know about me,” he said through his teeth, his eyes narrowed, “Because I trust you. That’s the difference between you and me.”

You blinked back the tears, digging your fingernails into your clenched fists.

“Have fun reading that,” he motioned at the file in front of you, then walked out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him. Your hand shot up to wipe at your eyes and tugged at the roots of your hair as you slouched against the kitchen island.

“Fuck.”

***

The next three days were an absolute disaster. You couldn’t focus on anything, you checked your phone every minute to see whether he had texted you or called you, but there was nothing. You had no idea what you could do to explain yourself, or at least convince him to hear you out, but you decided to wait until he wasn’t as angry. Maybe then, he would be more willing to listen to you and you would have gathered your thoughts together.

That was the logical thing to do and you knew that, but it didn’t help with the situation at all. You had already missed him way too much and the guilt was basically eating you alive.

You should’ve been more careful. You should’ve checked everywhere, you should’ve at least called your mother to make sure if she had thrown it away but you had done none of that because of multiple distractions. Spencer had a point, you knew it was possible, you even knew your mother had done the same thing with Kenzie and yet you had told him nothing about that.

Until it blew up on your face.

There was absolutely no way he would ever trust you again, and you had no one to blame but yourself.

Your fingers were itching to text him, but you every time the urge hit you, you tried to do anything else but that. You concentrated on work, you accepted a new client, you did anything and everything that could stop yourself from thinking about him, but all of that was in vain.

Mina and Kenzie had invited you for dinner and you had accepted it just so that you could distract yourself and feel less terrible. Around nine, Lily had insisted you to be the one to read her a bedtime story, and that kid could ask for a freaking castle and you would get her that, so of course you had said yes.

“And they lived happily ever after,” you finished the story and pressed a kiss into her hair as she snuggled closer to you. “Time to sleep, bug.”

“I have a question.”

“Hm?” you asked, “What is it?”

“Will we all live happily ever after?”

“Oh yeah,” you nodded, “Certainly.”

“Here?”

You tilted your head, “Here? What does that mean?”

“I heard mommy talking to grandma on the phone about you moving to—“ she scrunched up her nose, trying to find the right word, “Ven…?”

“Venice?” you asked and shook your head, “No sweetheart, I’m not moving anywhere.”

“It’s just that,” she looked up at you, “In the stories, they go away sometimes right? I thought since you found your prince—“

“You don’t need someone to live happily ever after Lily,” you said, “And in this case, I don’t need to move somewhere else to live happily ever after. Besides, things are complicated with my prince nowadays.”

“So you’re not moving away?”

“I’m not.”

She gave you a toothless smile, “Yay!” she said, “I would miss you.”

“I’d miss you too bug,” you kissed her hair, “So much. But now that we both know I’m staying here, you need to go to sleep, we had a deal.”

“Fine, fine…” she heaved a dramatic sight and you turned off the lamp by her bed, getting up from the bed. “Good night!”

“Sweet dreams, bug,” you closed the door behind you and made your way to the living room where Mina and Kenzie were still sitting by the table, drinking wine.

“Thank you so much,” Kenzie said and you waved a hand in the air as you sat down.

“Of course,” you said, grabbing your wine glass, “Mina, she asked me if I was moving to Venice.”

Mina frowned, “What?”

“Yeah, she heard you talk to mom on the phone,” you muttered, “Is that still going on? I thought we put that behind us, I’m not leaving.”

She heaved a sigh, “You know how mom gets, she’s just worried.”

“Have you talked to Spencer yet?” Kenzie asked and you took a huge sip of your wine, shrugging your shoulders.

“He knows where I am.”

“I take that as a no.” Kenzie said and you scoffed a bitter laugh.

“If he wants to break up with me, he can pick the time.”

Mina’s head shot up, “Y/N…”

“Come on,” you forced yourself to say and downed your wine before tilting your glass towards Kenzie, “You guys know how it goes. Experience talking.”

Kenzie filled your glass, “Listen, I can tell you right now that finding that out was a shock, yes. I felt betrayed, also yes. But after a couple of days, the anger subsided. When we broke up, it was— it was just my anger calling the shots.”

Mina nodded slowly, “Yeah, and then we talked and solved it.”

“Exactly!” Kenzie snapped her fingers, “Besides, after the first argument… I went to my apartment and after I calmed down I had to question whether I wanted to lose Mina over that.”

You shook your head, “It’s different.”

“How?”

“You weren’t there,” you lit a cigarette and exhaled the smoke, “You didn’t see the way how he looked at me after that. Something inside him shifted and I don’t know how to change that, or fix that.”

Mina and Kenzie exchanged glances.

“I don’t think he will ever trust me again,” you managed to say, turning the cigarette between your fingers, “That is if he talks to me again. I think he might just call it quits over the phone to be honest. He doesn’t owe me anything after this point, after what happened.”

“Y/N, I saw you two together even before you started dating,” Mina said, “This is not the end. It’s just some stupid obstacle in the way, that’s it.”

You could feel the tears burning your eyes but you blinked them back.

“I’ve never-” you trailed off, “I’ve never felt this way about anyone, you know? And if I lose this, lose him, I don’t know…” your voice cracked but you cleared your throat and took a sip of your wine again, “I have no idea what to do.”

Kenzie nibbled on her lip,

“You won’t have to, just—“ she started but was cut off when your phone started vibrating on the table. You lowered your glances to check the caller I.D flashing on the screen, then gasped, jumping on your feet.

Spencer.

“Excuse me,” you said and snatched the phone off the table to walk to Mina’s study, your heart slamming against your ribcage. You hoped that it was a good sign that he was calling you, instead of just ending your relationship via text and you closed the door behind you, then answered the phone.

“Hi,” your voice sounded way too squeaky even to your own ears and you shut your eyes for a moment, making a face.

“Hey,” he greeted you and you bit down on your lip, pushing your hair behind your ear as you walked in the study.

“How—um, how are you?”

“I’m good,” he said slowly, “How about you?”

“About the same,” you answered, “I was just thinking about you actually. I wanted to call you, but…”

“But you didn’t?” he asked and you shrugged your shoulders,

“I figured you might need some time away from,” you thought for a moment, trying to smile, “Well, away from me, I guess.”

He fell silent for a moment before he cleared his throat,

“Listen,” he said, “I just called to let you know that we— the team and I, I mean, we’re flying to Illinois in fifteen.”

Your head shot up, “Oh? There’s a new case?”

“Might be related to this one, we will see when we get there,” he said, “I just figured you’d…I don’t know, you’d want to know where I was.”

Even when you were quite possibly in the worst terms, he still wanted to make sure you knew about what was happening and that thought alone was enough to make you smile.

“Yeah absolutely,” you said, “That’s very thoughtful of you. Thanks for letting me know.”

“Sure thing.”

There was a pause before he took a deep breath.

“Anyway, yeah. That’s why I called. I’ll see you later—“

“Spencer,” you interrupted him, “Before you hang up, I want to say that I get why you’re upset, I really do. You have every right to be, but I was hoping…” you bit at your fingernail, “Maybe we can talk after you come back? Would that be possible?”

“Yeah,” he said after a beat, “Sure, that sounds good.”

“Yeah?” you let out a relieved breath, “Okay, great. Be careful out there, please?”

You could almost hear his small smile, “You too,” he said and hung up, making you let out a squeal and you sat down on the couch, pressing a hand over your chest.

You didn’t know it back then, but the next time you would see Spencer, it would be under very, very different circumstances.

And it definitely would not look like what you hoped it would.

***

Even though Mina and Kenzie insisted you to stay over for the night, you told them you had an important appointment the next morning. It wasn’t a lie either, you had been handling Vincent’s wedding’s possible venues since last week and finally you had narrowed it down to three, so you would be visiting those venues with him and his husband.

But that whole morning started very strange.

For starters, you hadn’t even heard your alarm go off, which was unusual, because that had never happened to you before. By the time you woke up, you had a terrible headache as if someone had hit your head with a baseball bat but you hadn’t even drunk that much last night. It felt way too difficult to even open your eyes, and your limbs felt like they were made of jelly as you forced yourself to sit up in the bed.

Where was your phone?

The wind coming from the open window moved the curtain and you frowned, trying to remember when you had opened the window before a shudder ran down your spine, the hairs on the back of your neck rising.

Spencer would’ve had some scientific explanation for it you were sure, but for you, it went deeper than that. It was your instincts, warning you that something was wrong.

Something in here didn’t feel right.

And every single cell in your body made sure you knew that.

Trying to make as little noise as you could, you swung your legs over the edge of the bed, blinking to get rid of the blurriness in your sight and looked around in the room for any potential weapons, then grabbed the nail file on the vanity before you opened the door. You peeked around the hall, but as soon as your gaze fell on the front door, you felt the goosebumps rising on your arms.

The front door wasn’t closed properly, and you were sure that you had closed it last night.

Your heart started pounding in your head but you stepped out of your room, still holding the nail file tightly just in case there was a sudden movement. You took another step, trying to fix your breathing but you happened to inhale deeply for a second, and that’s when you took the scent.

You smelt it before you could even see it, the bile climbing up your throat almost automatically.

Metallic and sweet.

Blood and jasmines.

You slowly lowered your glances to the floor connecting the hall to the living room to follow the small flowers of jasmines soaked in the red river of blood, leading behind the kitchen island. There were sirens going off in your head, screaming at you to run away but you took a deep breath, your whole body shaking as you stepped around the kitchen island, the warm blood soaking your feet before your eyes found the body lying completely still on the floor.

The nail file slipped from your closed fist as you stared at your ex-boyfriend Anthony, his eyes wide open and fixed on the ceiling, his hair and clothes drenched in his own blood.

The shock only lasted for one second.

Then a scream ripped itself from your throat.

Chapter 17

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid imagines #spencer reid x you #criminal minds #spencer x reader #spencer x you #spencer imagine #spencer imagines #spencer #reid #reid imagine #reid x you #dr spencer reid #reid x reader #criminal minds imagine #twisted

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scapegrace74-blog · 3 years

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New Ways of Turning Into Stone, Chapter 7

A/N For anyone waiting patiently for this chapter, I apologize. Somewhere in the midst of writing this story, I fell out of love with it, making it very hard to find the inspiration to finish. I’m too stubborn to abandon it, though, so here is the final chapter. The good news is the angst fest is over, for the most part. Slight reference to child trafficking in the past. Thanks to everyone who read and interacted with this story! This final chapter is entitled A Dragonfly in Amber.

The whole story can be found on my A03 page.

Eighteen Months Later

The breeze off the firth was picking up, and Claire wished she’d grabbed a jumper before leaving her flat. She spent a lot of time these days looking back at the million decisions that made up a life, aware of their path as though they were footprints visible to the eye. Where once missteps would have inspired judgement or shame, she could now chart their passage with a certain measure of peace.

A rare free Thursday brought her to a seasonal market in what was otherwise a car park overlooking Edinburgh Castle. With no specific objective in mind, she wandered the stalls of fresh produce and locally made crafts, meandering but purposeful. A jar of raw honey and a half-dozen blueberry scones made their way into her tote bag before she stopped at a store selling beautifully woven woolen goods, thinking that she could perhaps invest in a shawl.

Lifting the various offerings from where they were displayed, something caught her eye. Beneath the many-patterned pile of wool stood a beautiful wooden chest, its heft and patina speaking of its craftsmanship. It had been painted in a rusted umber, the shape of a dragonfly elegantly carved into its solid lid.

“Tis lovely, is it no’?” a soft lilt startled her from her trance.

“Yes, very. Is it for sale?” She had no idea why she’d asked. Her flat was crowded enough as it was and frivolous purchases no longer within her budget.

“Alas, no. Twas an anniversary gift from my man.” Perhaps seeing the disappointment register on her face, the woman added, “I can give ye the card o’ the man who made it, at least. Ye’re no’ the first tae have admired his work.”

Claire’s hands shook slightly as the shopkeeper sought out the card, an eerie sense of premonition settling over her. Sure enough, the familiar names leapt into relief as she accepted the woman’s offering:

Lallybroch Furniture Design

James Fraser, Proprietor

***

The afternoon and evening passed in a blur of obligations and routine. It was only as she settled into the peace of her own bedroom that Claire allowed her thoughts to return to the business card tucked safely into her wallet.

She’d known Jamie was still in the city. While she’d resisted the urge to seek him out a thousand times, she couldn’t stop herself from searching his name on the Internet. A harmless indulgence, she rationalized, and one that assured her that he was well, his business going from strength to strength. Despite the capitol’s tight-knit community, however, their paths had never crossed. Until now.

Was it a sign? Long Ago Claire paid no heed to such foolishness, but that was before a chance encounter spun her life one hundred and eighty degrees, sending her down a brand new path. Now she accepted these memos from the universe with humility. Tomorrow, she would go looking for Jamie Fraser.

***

Jamie heard the jingle of the bells above the door, even over the mechanical whirr of his sander. Unbending and blowing a sweaty curl off his forehead, he admired the intricate scrollwork of the custom hutch that was his latest commission. It still amazed him to watch his visions take shape before his eyes. If life hadn’t slapped him hard across the face, knocking him far off course, he might have spent the rest of his days unaware of the gift that resided between his hands.

“Took ye long enough, Geordie,” he called out to the footsteps approaching from the door. “Where’d ye go fer the varnish, Glasgow?”

There was a pause, and an eerie sense of premonition settled over him. Today was going to be the day.

“It’s not Geordie, it’s me. Claire.” He’d thought of her voice each day for the past eighteen months, and yet he hadn’t been able to summon its exact timbre: sonorous, precise, with a smoky finish like well-aged whisky.

“Claire,” he replied to the universe, summoning her by name before he even turned around.

Sawdust motes danced in a sunbeam descending from a clerestory window, illuminating the mahogany in her curls. She was everything he remembered, and so much more. The nacre of her skin, now dusted with cinnamon freckles. The topaz of her eyes less fierce, more open, and overwhelmingly anxious. The tight line of her jaw was less defined, her once whippet-thin figure filled out into plush curves. Overall the impression was one of softness, of willing vulnerability.

“The door was open,” she explained needlessly, her eyes drinking him in hungrily. He wondered what changes she read on his surface.

“It’s... uhhh...” his voice wobbled painfully, “it’s good tae see ye, Sassenach. How have ye been?”

He hadn’t trusted himself to seek her out since Maggie’s death, understanding that they both needed time to heal. It didn’t stop him from zeroing in on every glimpse of brown curls, nor from reading wedding announcements with an invisible fist gripping his throat. If it was meant to be, he counselled himself, they would find one another when the time was right. And now she was here, standing in his workshop and more lovely than his zealous imaginings.

“Good,” she replied, eyes meeting and then sheering away from his gaze. “Really good. Busy.” She was gripping the strap of her handbag like a parachute cord, and he couldn’t help glancing at her left hand, selfishly relieved to note it was still bare.

“I, ummm, I saw one of your pieces. At the market yesterday. Not for sale, of course. The woman offered me your card, so I thought, you know, that I might... You’re really very talented, Jamie,” she prattled nervously.

He blushed, delighted by her praise. “I thank ye, Claire.” To taste her name in his mouth, so long forbidden, was intoxicating. He would never tire of saying it.

“And yer work? Tis Friday. Are ye taking a well-deserved day off?”

“Oh, no. I’m not practicing anymore, Jamie.”

He froze, horrified. Of all the scenarios he’d played out in his mind, he’d never imagined her anything but a doctor. It was too much a part of who she was. A familiar sense of oppressive responsibility crept over him. If he’d somehow caused this to happen...

“Sassenach, no...” he whispered.

To his utter confusion, she laughed, merry and bright as the bells that had announced her return to his life.

“It’s alright, truly. I, well, a lot has changed since last year,” she explained, a glimmer of something coy transforming her face. His wame sunk into his feet.

“Ye’ve met someone.” A statement of fact. Punishment for wishing for something that wasn’t meant to be.

Her spritely laugh rang out again, increasing his pain. He felt the old, habitual hardening around his heart, and fought to keep his breath steady. No matter how much it hurt, he owed it to Claire to listen to her joy.

“In a manner of speaking. His name is Fergus, and he’s eight years old.”

Startled, he stared into her upturned face, trying to read the truth in her features. A hand, delicate but strong, took his own. He held onto it like a lifeline as she told her unlikely tale.

Shortly after their last meeting, Claire had been walking through Grassmarket when she’d been jostled by a running figure. It was only upon righting herself that she realized she was without her phone. Giving chase, she eventually cornered the thief down a blind alley, only to realize that it was a young boy, unkempt and malnourished.

Rather than turn the pickpocket in, Claire had negotiated an exchange: her phone for a four-course meal and the story of how a boy of his age, with a heavy French accent no less, had come to live on the streets of Edinburgh.

“He was trafficked, Jamie. A group in Paris were keeping him and other orphans in a brothel. When they came to transport them, Fergus escaped. He hid in a lorry, and this is where it brought him. He had no coat, no money, hardly any English, but he’d been surviving on his wits for six weeks before I found him. I can’t bear to think what might have happened to him had we not crossed paths that winter’s day.”

“Christ,” he swore, thinking of his own nephew, and what he wouldn’t give to protect the lad’s innocence.

Claire went on to describe the painstaking process of reporting Fergus, whose real name was Claudel, to the authorities without allowing him to be deported back to France and into the waiting hands of the very people he had escaped.

“There was no formal steps to follow, no real resources I could rely on. I ended up filing for adoption, because it was the only way to keep him safe. In the beginning, he needed all my attention. He had no formal schooling and had to learn English in a hurry. He suffered from terrible nightmares. I transferred all my patients, shut down the office, but I assumed it was only temporary, until he felt more secure and could go to school with other kids his age. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that Fergus isn’t the only trafficked child in Scotland. I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t do whatever I could to protect every one of them. So I quit. I’d made some contacts at ECPAT in London, trying to sort out the mess with Fergus’ immigration paperwork. I called them up and offered my services on a part-time basis. A former pediatrician with experience in grief counselling. They couldn’t accept fast enough. So now, when I’m not busy being Fergus’ mom, I’m the executive director of ECPAT here in Scotland.”

“Christ,” he repeated. “Sassenach, I’m... God, ye’re an amazing woman.”

It was her turn to blush, glancing down to notice that their hands were still clasped, fingers woven together like thirsty roots. They were standing toe to toe, breathing in harmony. Jamie smelled of pine, a sharp sweetness that seemed to cling to his body. She dared a look upwards and found his gaze locked on her mouth. Oceans stormed in the depths of his eyes.

“You’ve got a little...” she reached for his jaw, “...a little something, right here...” Before she could dislodge the fleck of sawdust trapped in his auburn stubble, Jamie’s whole body surged forward, their noses practically bumping.

“Sassenach...” he beseeched.

“Yes?” Wispy, fluttering wings of hope surrounded her.

“I’ve bided as long as I can. May I please, for the love of all tha’s holy, finally kiss ye?”

A tiny nod, a murmured assent, then their lips took up the conversation that had begun so many months before. There, in a dusty workshop at eleven o’clock on a Friday morning, the last obstacle that stood between them came crashing to the ground. In its place came warmth and certainty, a candleflame of cherished possibility.

#my writing #outlander

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readyplayerhobi · 3 years

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Jung Hoseok and the Magic to Happiness | 06 | End

; Hufflepuff Teacher!Hoseok x Reader

; Genre: Fluff, angst, smut

; Word Count: 7.5k

; Warnings: Penetrative sex, potion influence (? what’s the correct term here), unprotected sex (kinda), creampie, Hoseok licks his fingers...

; Synopsis: An unexpected issue with your Ministry of Magic job leads to you taking the role of Transfiguration Professor at Hogwarts. It’s here that you meet your best friend’s younger brother for the first time in years, the Hufflepuff Head of House, Jung Hoseok. While you contend with seeing him once again, Hoseok tries to show you that he’s very much a man and no longer the gangly teenager you once knew.

; A/N: Final chapter! We’re finally here. I bet you didn’t think I’d actually finish this series, haha. Two series down though! SO...I’m very rusty with smut. I haven’t written it since like...October so please be gentle with me! I hope you all enjoy this chapter and have liked reading this series! Please reblog it so others can find it and send me comments/reviews/feedback via an ask or by reblogging this! :D I love to read them all and your support has helped to encourage me to keep going.

Last Chapter ;

Surprisingly, you don’t see Hoseok for a few days after the Winter Solstice Ball. He’s not present at any of the meals, nor do you see him around the castle either. It simultaneously confuses and concerns you as you worry that he’s feeling too awkward to be around you.

Seokjin, at a pre-Christmas meal at his house, had tried to confirm that he wasn’t avoiding you but instead was simply busy with preparing the magical creatures for the Christmas break. There were exchanges with other schools around the world that occurred at Christmas, meaning that Hoseok was constantly travelling with his creatures and taking custody of the foreign creatures which would be used for the next semester.

You’d viewed that with suspicion as you didn’t recall Hoseok nor Jisoo telling you that, but it did seem like a logical reason. Chaeyoung had backed the argument at the time, her mouth half full of roasted turkey. Given your suspicions about their involvement in trying to get Hoseok and you into a relationship had caused you to watch her suspiciously though.

It was only when Jimin, who had also been present for the meal, had confirmed it with a nod of his head that you’d finally believed them. As far as you knew, Jimin had no involvement and he’d genuinely fascinated with how close the two of you had been at the ball.

So even though it made you feel a little paranoid at his sudden absence after the kiss, you chose to trust your friends and believe what they said. You were already concerned about how to just interact with him when you saw him, you certainly didn’t need to obsess over the fact he ‘might’ be avoiding you.

Instead of letting your mind focus on that though, you instead throw yourself into any work you can do. The Christmas break sees most students gone and only a handful remaining behind. Some of those were because they wanted to continue studying or they didn’t want to leave their friends, others were because they didn’t have a stable home to go back to.

It made your heartache to know that some of your students had such poor home lives but it wasn’t something you could do anything about. Instead, you help to organise visits to Hogsmeade for the students so they can get to enjoy some of their break by just having fun and experiencing some of the Christmas cheer.

You’d also got through all the essays that you had to mark and the first month of the new semester had already been carefully planned out for when the students all returned. This meant that you’d done nearly all your work though and there were only so many books you could read without getting bored.

So you offered your services to the other professor’s who had remained behind, figuring that you could help them out while also reducing your boredom. This is why you were currently in the potion storeroom doing a stocktake; recording how many of each ingredient was left, if there were any that were running low or had run out completely, what potions were stored away and how much of each one.

It wasn’t the most interesting job but it helped to take your mind off things and you felt a little useful at least. You’d only been doing it for half-an-hour before you’d quickly realised why no one liked to do this job, though. The storeroom was bigger than it initially appeared and contained multiple shelving units, with each shelf packed full of ingredients, potions and spare potion-making ingredients.

There was a stale smell to the air which mingled with the faint remnants of potions that had been created in the many cauldrons that littered the room. Alongside that, there was so much dust in the room that you genuinely wondered if anyone used this place. Whilst you weren’t one to advocate using magic for stuff that you could just do by hand, there was no reason to not just do a quick cleaning spell in here.

Then again, you’ve never been amazing at potions so maybe that kind of spell might do something to one of the ingredients. So you just carry on, occasionally sneezing whenever you cause a small dust cloud to appear.

You end up so in the zone that you don’t hear the door open and close, nor the soft footfalls of someone walking in closer. This means you shriek in surprise when you hear your name in a familiar, low voice. Jerking forwards, you knock into the shelves in front of you and wince at the sound of glass hitting each other as bottles wobble dangerously.

“Shit!” Cursing, you miss the bottle with a mother-of-pearl sheen that teeters from the top shelf dangerously. Hoseok, obviously concerned with how he’d surprised you, rushes forward to help stabilise the bottles that are on the verge of smashing all around you.

As he grabs one that’s rolling towards the edge, you reach out to stop another one at the exact moment the top bottle drops. It hits your hand hard, bouncing before hitting the shelving unit and shattering. The potion inside splatters all over you, Hoseok and the shelf. Spiralled steams immediately begin to rise from where it impacts and you vaguely remember that amortentia looks like this.

But then you’re cursing loudly, sputtering as you get a mouthful of it. Without meaning to, you swallow it all and cringe as you feel it slide down your throat. The sound of Hoseok choking causes you to look over and you realise he’s got a mouthful of it as well, his face pinched as he sticks his tongue out from the taste of it.

“What was that?” He asks, blinking rapidly before wiping away what has splashed onto his face. For such a small bottle, it had managed to almost everywhere and even some stray strands of his hair were wet; steam rising slowly.

“If I remember my potions correctly...amortentia.” You say, lips twisting as you stare up at the top of the unit. Why this potion had been stored up there was beyond you as there was nothing else up there but dust. At least no other bottles had broken.

“Ah,” He muses before pausing, eyes widening as something clicks in his head. “Wait, isn’t that the love potion thing?”

“It doesn’t cause people to fall in love. If you remember back to your own potions lessons, no potion is capable of causing true love. Instead, it causes intense infatuation or obsess-oh…” Now your own eyes widen as you stare directly into Hoseok’s, warmth curling within your gut and rushing through your veins until your whole body feels hot.

Almost instantly, the two of you look away from each other. Coughing awkwardly, you shift to the other side of the storeroom, a hand pressed to your cheeks in a futile effort to cool them. Instead, they just feel even warmer.

What happened if two people took it? Especially if those two people already liked each other anyway? Did it just negate itself?

The slow burn within you said no and you let out a shaky breath, resting your forehead against the cool wood of the unit next to you.

“I’m sorry...I didn’t mean to scare you. I thought you heard me coming in...I wasn’t being quiet or anything.” Hoseok mutters and you glance over, noting the rosy pink gracing the apples of his cheeks. You wonder if it’s because he feels embarrassed or if it’s because he’s experiencing the same, intense feelings that you are.

Inhaling deeply, you tried to calm yourself only to realise that all you could smell was Hoseok. His scent was so strong that it was like he was standing right next to you instead of being on the other side of the room. Almost immediately, you knew it was the potion.

From what you remembered, amortentia caused those feelings for whoever administered it. Considering neither you nor Hoseok had been the one to serve it, you would’ve thought that it would just negate itself. Instead, it seems to have decided that you’ve both administered it to each other.

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it. I was too deep into my work,” Giving him a nervous laugh, you try to reassure him so he doesn’t get too worried that he’s done something wrong. “How come you’re here? I haven’t seen you in days.”

“Err, yeah...sorry. I’ve been really busy. I forgot to tell you that we usually start doing magical creature exchanges around Christmas to help educate our students on foreign creatures while also allowing other nations to learn about our creatures. It’s been a little hectic as I’ve been exchanging hippogriff’s, bowtruckles and nifflers with Castelobruxo in Brazil. Which as you can imagine has been a little stressful because I think I’ve almost lost about six niffler’s and almost lost a hand to one of the hippogriff’s.” He turns away from you to tidy up some of the shelves, missing your sigh of relief as you realise everyone has been right.

He hadn’t been avoiding you.

“I’m finished now though, for the moment. It took me longer than I liked as the fire slugs we got from Castelobruxo have been continuously burning their cages but I have that completely fixed now. I thought that I’d come to find you as we haven’t talked in a few days and I got told you were here. So...here I am.” Giving you a weak smile, Hoseok turns to look at you while shrugging.

He looks slightly uncomfortable now; a sheen on his golden tan skin while his face looks redder than normal. His hands grasp at nothing on his sides and you find yourself hyper fixated on them. Have you ever really noticed how long and slender his fingers are?

Almost immediately, you imagine those fingers somewhere else and almost moan out loud as you clench inner muscles around nothing. Was this a normal side effect of amortentia? You didn’t know what was happening and you weren’t the best at potions so this was all foreign to you.

At least you’d come to terms with the fact that you were attracted to him and would like to perhaps try a relationship. Otherwise, this would’ve been even more awkward. Not that he knew that yet, which is probably why he’s looking a little distressed.

You don’t feel that it’s the best moment to blurt that out though. Sure, it would reduce any uncomfortableness between you both but was it a good idea to admit you find him attractive too when you’re both suffering the effects of amortentia?

Probably not.

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it. A few of the others told me that you’d be busy doing this. I didn’t even know that magical creature exchange was a thing!” Cheerfully, you smile at him when he glances at you.

“Still, I should have told you. I’m really sorry.” He mumbles, reaching out to gently brush a scratchy pouch idly. His insistence at apologising causes you to smile and shake your head amused at how genuinely remorseful he is that he’d forgotten to tell you this one thing.

“Honestly, it’s fine. It’s your job, don’t say sorry for doing your job, okay? You’re a great caretaker for the magical creatures and I’m not surprised you forgot to mention it to me. I don’t tell you stuff about my job all the time because you don’t need to know it! So don’t stress.” Reaching for the checklist that you’d been running through earlier, you note down the broken amortentia potion with a small reprimand for the untidy storeroom.

As such, you don’t see the way Hoseok’s face twists as he forces himself to remain quiet.

The two of you remain silent for the next five minutes or so with you attempting to carry on counting the ingredients and potions on the shelves while Hoseok merely lingers in the background. He was so cute.

It would have been a comfortable silence between you both, like you always had with him, if not for the lingering awkwardness of the untalked kiss and the flaring desire of the potion. Shifting awkwardly, your thighs squeeze together in an attempt to relieve some pressure. It doesn’t work and you have to stifle a groan at the small sharp jolt of pleasure.

“Merlin,” Hoseok whispers, causing you to open your eyes and look over at him. His face is even more flushed and you note a slight sheen to his skin as if he’s too hot. If he’s even remotely as warm as you are then it’s entirely understandable and you wonder what you look like to him.

Blowing out a breath, he attempts to fan his face before pinching some of his shirt and pulling at it to get some cooler air. You can tell it doesn’t work because you’ve been subconsciously doing that for the last minute and all it’s done is cause you to imagine Hoseok’s lips brushing along your chest instead of the poor imitation of a breeze.

What finally tipped you over the edge to deciding you’d done enough counting today was yet another glance over to Hoseok. His tall and lithe form has been almost hidden beneath his robes all this time, but an uncomfortable shift causes him to reveal more of his body.

You weren’t normally such a blatant person but you couldn’t help the way your eyes drag down his body, taking in every crease in his crisp white button-up. The key moment that told you to get out of the room now was when your eyes trailed even further below, taking in the leather of his belt.

And the obvious tent in his trousers.

Swallowing so hard that you choke, you quickly move towards the door. The rush of blood throbbing in your ears drowns out Hoseok’s call of surprise, your focus solely on getting out of the overwhelmingly hot room.

The room with the man you’d very recently had decided you were attracted to both romantically and sexually. Not a good combo when you were almost burning from within with lust for him, especially when you know he’s turned on right now.

Running a hand down your face as you rush through the corridors, you can’t stop the quiet groan that leaves your mouth as you do so. Your clothes feel too tight for your body, almost suffocating and the aching need for fingers or something more between your legs is becoming unbearable.

“Y/N, wait!” Finally, Hoseok’s voice breaks through, causing you to falter as you almost pause. Even shouting, his voice is low and sends shivers through your body. A tiny whine escapes and you push forwards, almost jogging now in your effort to get back to your quarters.

Maybe a shower would get rid of this. A very cold shower, or a cold bath. You’d make a potion to counteract it but you’re nowhere near good enough to combat an advanced potion like that.

As your door finally comes into view, and for a moment you marvel at how fast you’ve managed to move from the dungeons that house the potions classroom and the store you’d been working into your quarters.

Not quite fast enough though as Hoseok’s long legs finally let him catch up, his hand reaching out and gently grasping at your arm. He’s touching you through multiple layers of clothing and yet your skin is almost burning, the desire to have him against your bare skin stronger than ever.

You get the feeling that he’s experiencing the same as he suddenly retracts his hand, almost as if he’d burned it and lets out a hiss. The sound is sibilant and low, his breath escaping him quick and you feel a strong urge to hear it once more.

Still, he doesn’t let his surprise or shock stop him. A look at his face shows you that his expression is a mix of concern and worry beneath the flushed cheeks of lust and glassy eyes of desire.

“I’m sorry, did I do something? I didn’t mean to if I did. Please don’t run away from me!” He begs, one hand moving out towards you almost like it has a mind of its own. The way he looks at it, with a scowl like it’s doing something wrong, almost makes you laugh as you can understand his frustration.

You’ve had to stop yourself from reaching out to him at least twice now.

Instead, you give him a tense smile and try to ignore the fact that he’s standing a little awkwardly. It takes far more effort than you’d like to not look down because you know it’s because he has an erection that is probably uncomfortable. Something he likely doesn’t want to bring attention to.

“Don’t worry, it’s okay. I promise. I just...I just needed to get out of that room, you know.” You let your words trail off awkwardly, fidgeting with your hands and trying desperately not to look at his crotch. As usual, though, the temptation to look was made all the stronger by your knowledge that you couldn’t just ogle his groin openly.

“Ah...yeah, er, right. It was quite...quite warm.” He pauses in his sentence though, looking a little conflicted and you follow where his eyes are staring. Right down to your chest, which is currently covered by a soft, cream-coloured jumper that you’d happily pulled on this morning.

It feels more than a little stifling right now though.

As soon as he registers where he’s looking, he sputters and starts to resemble a tomato. An absurdly handsome, tall tomato. The longer you let your thoughts linger there then the more stupid they begin to become.

Still, his blatant want fuels your potion addled senses and you start to speak without thinking.

“Do you like me? Romantically and sexually, you know? I’m pretty sure you do. I’m sorry that I didn’t realise, I’m dumb apparently. I know you’ve been trying to subtly tell me for ages now but I finally did! And I liked our kiss and I really want to do it again. Actually, I wanna do more than kiss you-” Hoseok cuts you off by reaching out for your hand, his fingers slightly calloused but still so damn soft.

And hot against you.

“Yes. I like you, a lot. More than you probably realise. I just didn’t want to push you or make you feel awkward-” Now it’s your turn to interrupt him, twisting your fingers until you can thread them through Hoseok’s.

A slight tug has him following you with wide eyes, the door to your classroom being pushed open and closed as soon as he’s inside. Without another word, you push him up against the wood while grasping at his shirt to tug him closer.

Your lips connect with ease and this time, it’s nothing like the previous kiss. Where that was chaste, this had the flames of lust burning deep within and you moaned out as Hoseok licked into your mouth, stoking that heat within you even further.

Pressing yourself to his body, you let one hand trail along his shirt and sigh as you finally get to confirm that he is exactly as lean and toned as you’d initially thought. Your touch causes him to shiver, breaking away from your lips to press open-mouthed kisses to your jawline almost desperately.

“Hoseok,” Whispering into his ear, you let your other hand run your fingers through his hair before tugging on some of the black strands. “Ah, please.”

You’re not sure what you’re asking him but you don’t care either. Anything he can give you, you’ll take.

His fingertips scorch your skin as he lets them dance over your waist, slipping beneath your jumper with a hunger he can only show. As he does so, he captures your mouth once more and kisses you with such passion and strength that you’re momentarily left breathless.

Trying to kiss him back with equal fervour while your fingers move to unbutton his shirt, losing grip on them as you refuse to move away to look down. It causes him to laugh into it, the sound pleasant and light, before he gently pushes your hands away.

Pulling away from the kiss, he presses his forehead against your own and gives a breathy smile. Glassy eyes and dilated pupils greet you while his breath hits your skin with each puff as he tries to centre himself. And then he almost looks sad; his brow creasing and the corners of his lips turning down.

“We shouldn’t...not like this. I...I really want, oh fuck I want you so bad. But this wasn’t how I imagined...you deserve better. More romantic or some-” Reaching up, you gently place a finger on his lips to quiet him. He does so instantly and you’re pleased that he doesn’t look annoyed at your interruption.

“It’s not what I imagined either but I’m not turning it down. If anything, I’m glad that potion is helping to bolster my confidence because I doubt I’d have got the courage to do anything. So, please, don’t worry about me. I want you and I’m fully aware of myself. All that potion is doing is bolstering my feelings.” You hadn’t known if that was something he was worried about and you wanted to soothe any fears he might have.

It’d be understandable because part of you is also worried that he’s only doing this because the amortentia potion is fuelling an insatiable need within. The way his eyes widen at your words before his whole body relaxes let’s you know that has been a concern of his, causing you to smile, and reach up to cup his cheeks before pulling him into a quick kiss.

“Now, please carry on and don’t stress. We’ll talk properly after, okay?” Hoseok nods and you bite your lip, trying not to laugh at how eager he looks once more.

He doesn’t kiss you again though, instead turning and tugging on your hand. Brows rising, you follow him before watching in astonishment as he sweeps your desk clear of any papers or stationery. Part of you wants to complain, but the thought instantly vanishes when he backs you up until you can feel the solid wood against the backs of your thighs.

“Hoseok! My desk? Seriously?” Giggling, you glance around your classroom and feel a little scandalised. The door to your quarters is only a few metres away but he has an almost playful look in his eyes when he grins back at you. You’d protest doing something like this in your classroom louder if it wasn’t for the fact that you were desperate for him.

He doesn’t respond to those comments though, instead reaching out and ghosting his fingers over your cheek. It makes you shiver as you feel that touch all over.

“Once more...you want this, right? You’d want this even without the potion influence?” You wonder how much amortentia addles the mind but you reason to yourself that you’ve thought about this with him for the last week. About him between your thighs, deep inside you and pleasing you.

“I want it. I’ll want it after, too.” Purposefully lowering your voice, you look at him from beneath your lashes before reaching out and hooking your fingers around his belt. Now he’s the one laughing, the sound low and husky as he lets you pull him forward.

As if you’re magnetically attracted, your lips meet his once more and you sigh into his mouth as he pressed himself against you. Whimpering, you slide your hands around his waist and try to pull him closer. A wiggle on the hard surface has Hoseok’s erection pressing onto your clit, causing you to moan out.

He mirrors the noise, the sound hoarse from his throat and you find yourself grinding against him as well as you can. It doesn’t quite work as you have nothing to brace your legs with but neither of you seems to mind. Thankfully though, Hoseok seems to understand and begins a slow roll of his hips that drives you wild.

But it’s not enough though and you shift away from him, dragging your hands down his front and enjoying the way he moans as your nails scrape through his shirt. Reaching his belt, you fumble to undo it and frown in frustration as you struggle with it.

“Let me,” Hoseok says, undoing the buckle with practised ease and slipping the leather through the meal. The sound of it sparks something inside you, causing you to writhe on the desk and beg him to hurry up. A quirk of his lips tells you that he’s amused at your insistence.

Before he does anything else though, he reaches forward and pushes your skirt along your thighs. The soft material only adds to the overstimulation of your already wired body, causing goosebumps to form all over.

His fingertips on the freshly exposed skin feel even better though, the sensitive skin of your inner thighs sparking fireworks of pleasure and delight at his touch. Letting your head fall back, you just let yourself focus on the feelings and whine softly, pussy clenching around nothing.

Under normal circumstances, you would want to explore all of Hoseok and have the favour returned in full. You’d want the full experience with plenty of foreplay; his mouth and fingers delving into places that only he’s allowed to see.

You’re too desperate though and you pull your skirt up, shifting until you’re laying back on the desk and trying to tug your underwear off. It’s hard to do on the desk though and you’re thankful when Hoseok takes over, his fingers hooking into the soft material and then you’re feeling cool air.

“Fuck.” He curses, eyes focused solely between your legs. You’re almost embarrassed to realise how wet you are, the underwear in his hands sporting a prominent damp batch that has a shiny spot you can see even from here.

Being this close to him and now being half-naked, you want him more than ever and you try to grasp at his wrist, needing him to touch you down there. Anything you can get, you’ll take. Hoseok lets you take his hand, guiding his fingers until they’re pressing against the hardened nub of your clit.

The sound you let out is obscenely loud as you move his hand until he’s touching you in just the right way to send arrows of pleasure through your body. Letting go, you let him carry on and enjoy the heat of him on you, sighing in relief at finally getting what you wanted.

It’s not enough though and you try to shift your hips, lifting them in an attempt to line his fingers with your entrance. He can tell what you’re trying to do though and grins, the expression causing his cheeks to rise while his eyes sparkle down at you.

“Do you just want to do it? You’re already really wet.” He asks, raising a brow and you nod quickly. You don’t want to waste any more time and the thought of having his cock in you is more than you can bear. It doesn’t stop you from whining in displeasure as he takes his hand away to finish undoing his trousers.

To try and combat that, you let your fingers take over from where he was. You know your body better than anyone and almost instantly you’ve got a good rhythm going. The sight of him before you, cheeks flushed with his hair looking ruffled and his shirt creased, is unbelievably erotic.

Unzipping his trousers, he pushes them down his thighs alongside his underwear. You don’t even get to see what kind he wears but you find that you don’t care. Beneath the ends of his white button-up shirt, a prominent erection stands proudly towards you. The tip is swollen and red, unsurprising given how long he’s had it for now.

He’s not the longest, nor the thickest, but you don’t care. Hoseok’s cock is quite possibly the most perfect thing you’ve seen at that moment and all you want is for him to be inside you.

Before you can vocalise that though, he’s suddenly grabbing his wand before his trousers fall to the floor. Resting the tip on your belly, he mutters a quick spell and you realise that he’s got more control of himself than you do as he’d remembered to cast a contraceptive spell. A second spell on both you and him protects you from any diseases or infections, after which he practically throws his wand to the side.

You’d protest his lack of care about something so fragile but you can’t bring yourself to care when he moves forward, letting the tip of cock rest against your pussy. The weight, almost surprising given how it defies gravity, is delightful on your clit and he presses it down, moving in a slow roll that has you sighing.

More wetness coats your pussy, which in turn coats him and you grasp one of his hands. Linking your fingers together, you pull him a little closer and mewl as he slides against the sensitive bundle of nerves once more.

“Please, Hoseok. Please” You beg, causing him to smile with satisfaction.

Placing his free hand on your left leg, he pushes it up a little and out to the side, stretching you open a little more for him. Shivering as the air cools the slick excitement between your legs, you go to protest. It’s cut off though by the feeling of him penetrating you, the blunt head of his cock slipping into you with minimal resistance thanks to how wet you’ve gotten.

Moaning loudly, your eyes close as he stretches you with each inch. It’s been a long time since you’ve slept with anyone and the ragged cry Hoseok pulls from you is directly caused by how good he feels inside you. It’s like you can feel every inch of him as he slides deeper within, the nerves in your walls firing sparks of pleasure continuously until he finally bottoms out.

For a moment, the two of you simply stay in position and bask in the beautiful feeling. You’re panting a little and trying to resist the urge to shift your hips to encourage him to move. One glance at Hoseok tells you to let him move at his own pace.

His face is pinched, brows knitted together and his jaw looking sharper than ever as he clenches his teeth. The fingers wrapped in yours squeeze tightly and after a few seconds, he lets out a guttural groan that sounds as if it was ripped from his gut.

“Shit...Merlin’s beard, you’re so...I don’t know if I’m going to last,” He admits, his cheeks burning redder than ever. “I’m sorry if I don’t. I’ve imagined...this is…”

Grunting, he slowly pulls out before sliding back into you with one fluid motion of his hips. A broken cry escapes your mouth at the pleasure and you reach down to rub at your clit. You’re just as desperate as he is to orgasm, to feel him thick inside you as you convulse around him while waves of pleasure leave you boneless.

“It’s okay, it’s okay. Just...move. Please.” You reassure him, trying to smile before your eyes roll back into your head at the second thrust. Still, your words let him gain some confidence and he continues to move in slow and steady snaps of his hips, each drag of his cock better than the last.

Lifting onto your elbows, you risk a glance down to take in the sight of him thrusting into you. His cock is soaked with your wetness and you realise suddenly that it’s causing lewd sounds every time he moves. You’d be embarrassed at it but the sound is strangely erotic to you; the knowledge that he’s caused you to become this wet and experience this much pleasure intoxicating.

The two of you don’t speak for a minute or so after that, far too caught up in just enjoying yourselves and all the feelings that course through your bodies. You suppose the potion is a little to blame for the almost selfish nature of the sex, but there’s also more than enough longing and desire on his side mixing with eagerness and attraction on your own.

“Fuck, I think-I think I’m gonna cum.” Hoseok pants out, his whole chest moving as he gasps out from the strenuous effort of sex. His face has a sheen to it and the damper patches on his white shirt indicate how much he’s sweating from it. Probably also a little from just how warm you’d both ended up.

Moaning out in response, you tip your head back against the cool wood of your desk and let your hand do its work. The combination of his cock inside you and your fingers playing on your clit blend together perfectly and you writhe wildly.

“Ah...shit.” His entire body going rigid as he pushes into you as far as he can get. Watching him, you cry out at how beautiful and sexy he looks as he orgasms; his jaw tightly clenched to show off that beautiful line of bone while the tendons in his neck strain. The hand entwined with yours squeezes harder than ever and he seems to just inside you in tiny movements, almost like he’s extending his pleasure without wasting too much effort.

You can feel the subtle twitch of his cock deep within you and the knowledge that he’s orgasming inside you has your fingers swirling on your clit harder and faster than before. Tightening your inner muscles, you relish in the strangled moan Hoseok lets out and the increase of feeling.

Not long after he lets out a final sigh, deeper than anything else, and he strokes his free hand down your thigh. It’s almost an encouraging touch and even though he’s finished, he moves in you with a slow and lazy stroke. The slight wince he has tells you that he’s probably a little overstimulated but he doesn’t complain and you cry out as your whole body tenses up.

Back bowing and head pressing into the desk, you tighten your eyes closed as high pitched whines and breathes escape your throat. Hips rolling in a circular motion, you continue to stroke at the sensitive bundle of nerves between your legs until the sensation becomes too much. Pulling your hand away, you’re surprised when Hoseok grabs at it suddenly.

He slips out of you, his cock rapidly becoming flaccid nows that’s had his fill and you shift at the sensation of liquid that’s slightly thicker than your excitement beginning to leak from you. The knowledge that it’s come from him is surprisingly arousing and you try to push the thought away.

Something not helped by the fact that Hoseok takes the fingers that had been so busy with your clit and licks them clean, groaning out quietly as he finally gets to taste you. It’s probably not the way he imagined doing it, but Merlin, it’s certainly an attractive way.

“That was good,” He finally says, letting your hand drop and you miss the feel of his tongue already. “Better than I’ve ever imagined...and I imagined it a lot.”

He’s flushed from the intense exercise but the bashful look to his eyes tells you that some of that pink tinge is also from his shyness. You can’t help but grin at the fact he’s getting quiet after just fucking you so hard on your desk.

Sitting up slowly, you stretch and enjoy the satisfying feeling of multiple muscles in your body and the overall sense of contentment that washes through you. Reaching forward, you wrap your arms around his neck after he’s tugged his trousers and underwear back up before kissing him gently.

“How flattering, Professor Jung. I feel honoured.” There’s a hint of teasing in your voice but you keep it light enough to know that you’re not being mean to him. Instead, you’re pleased by his admission that he’s thought of you sexually. Perhaps you don’t want to know about what his teenage fantasies were but you’ll happily accept his adult fantasies.

It works to make him snort a laugh and shake his head, stroking his hands along your waist.

“And as amazing as the sex was...I’m feeling a little tired and sore from the desk. So let’s take this into my quarters, shall we?” Pushing him, you hop off the desk and let your skirt fall back into place. It’s creased now and there’s likely wet stains on the back alongside what will eventually become semen stains too.

Hoseok doesn’t follow you as you move towards the door leading to your bedroom, causing you to turn and give him an arched brow in question. Opening the door without looking at it, you smile brightly before winking.

“Well? Do you want me to be alone in my bed?” Turning away from him, you quickly pull off your shirt and throw it out of the door for him to see. It’s only seconds before you hear the sound of him following quickly, causing you to smile to yourself.

Yawning widely, you stretch out your arms and almost hit Hoseok in the face. Toes brushing against his leg as you do so, he lets out a laugh that’s more movement than sound. The rumble of his chest beneath your cheek is comforting and you sigh deeply in contentment. It had been only half an hour or so since you’d had sex and what was likely only three hours since you’d both fucked the first time.

You had to give Hoseok credit; he knew exactly what he was doing.

Just the thought of the frantic sex on your desk had you heating up in dual embarrassment and desire. Embarrassment because...well it was your desk! In your classroom. How were you ever going to look at the table without remembering what had happened on top of it?

The desire was a more obvious, and expected, emotion though. Experiencing that again would be very welcomed on your behalf and you suspected that Hoseok would be just as open to it.

Nuzzling your head into him, you took in a deep breath to get a concentrated dose of Hoseok mixed with sex. It was a heady scent and you squeeze your thighs, feeling the wetness that was still there.

Despite the horny monster he’s released, you feel a sense of tired contentment between you both. Hoseok hasn’t said anything since you’d both collapsed onto the bed after a rigorous second round and you hadn’t wanted to interrupt it yet. It was nice to just enjoy the tired aftermath of sex without the pressure of talking anything out.

Even if you knew that you both had to.

As if he can tell what you’re thinking, Hoseok takes a deep breath that has your head rising.

“I didn’t intend for...well for this. I swear,” He says, his voice a little nervous and you can tell he’s uncertain about how you’re going to respond now the potion has run its course. “I’m sorry for knocking the potion over, it was stupid of me.”

Pushing up onto your elbow, you reach up and place a finger against his lips to stop him from saying anything else. He looks at you, his cheeks adorably full from this angle and his eyes dark while he waits for you to say whatever you’re thinking.

What you’re thinking is that his lips are so soft beneath your fingertip, plush and swollen from the frantic kisses. Before you can think of anything else, you shift forward until you’re kissing him once more, the movement slow enough for him to stop it if he didn’t want to.

He lets you though, one hand coming up to cup the back of your neck in support, and opening his mouth to deepen it. A quiet moan leaves your throat as you slant your mouth against his, tilting your head to find the perfect angle and shivering as he slips his tongue into your willing mouth.

Any hint of a conversation disappears between you both, his free hand running down your naked back in a slow stroke that’s so sensual it has you quivering. But you know that he understands that you’re not annoyed at him; actually the exact opposite.

Pulling away, you lick at your lips and note the unfiltered lust in his eyes as he watches you do so, before smiling at him. Brushing some of his dark hair away from his face, admiring just how handsome he was.

“Don’t worry about it, honestly. I was fully aware of myself and wanted it. I already told you that and I meant it. The potion just helped me to get over my inhibitions. Trust me, I was already considering this after the Winter Solstice Ball. I just didn’t know how to get over the hurdle of being nervous about it.” Now it’s his turn to comfort you, his fingertips tracing across your face in a featherlight touch.

It’s almost painfully tender and the sparkling warmth in his eyes tells you that there’s something much deeper there for him. But you don’t push and he doesn’t spill. He’ll tell you when he’s comfortable with it, and you’ll be there to hear it.

Instead, he opens up with an entirely different kind of vulnerability. The confidence he’s shown so far disappears and you note fondly that it makes him look younger. Something he’d probably hate you saying.

You’ve finally figured out why he never likes conversation about the age difference between you both, at least.

“Really? Do you really mean that? I mean, about considering it?” Hoseok sounds awkward, his voice pitching higher than normal at one point and causing him to cough while his cheeks darken. The urge to coo is unbelievable.

“Yes, I mean it. I was a little taken aback when I first came here and I saw how much you’d changed since I’d last seen you. But you became one of my closest friends and the last few weeks has had me looking at you...in a slightly different light. You were...unreal at the ball and it made me realise a lot of things. And the kiss spurred that on, too. I talked with Jisoo and she helped me to see that...you’re not just her little brother. I’d been putting that label on you in an attempt to keep you at arm’s length, but I don’t want that now. I don’t need to, because I’ve accepted that I find you attractive and I would be open to more if you wanted it.” The words fall from your mouth in a rush, taking advantage of the confidence you had to get this out.

“I want it.” You don’t even get to say anything else because Hoseok interrupts you with those three simple words, the syllables fast as his enthusiasm takes over. Snorting quietly, you kiss his cheek affectionately and enjoy it when it pinkens once more.

“Someone’s eager.” Teasing him, you roll onto your back and let out a sigh as you stare up at the blank ceiling. There’s a slight chill in the air, common in such an old castle as Hogwarts, but you feel your nipples pebble from it. Shuddering, you go to tug the blanket over your naked body and Hoseok’s.

“I’ve been waiting for this for a while, so yeah. But we can talk about that more later if you want?” Looking over at him, you smile at the happiness on his face and note how he seems so much lighter than before. The knowledge that you’ve done this to him is a little overwhelming, causing you to let out a sudden breath.

And then you notice that he’s not only happy in the metaphorical sense but also in the physical sense, a prodding against your thigh causing you to peek under the blanket. Sure enough, his well-endowed erection was very prominent against you.

Raising an eyebrow, you look up at Hoseok with a mix of exasperation, amusement and admiration.

“Already? Three times in an evening?” Now Hoseok is the one smirking, the palm of his hand pressing flat against your stomach before slowly creeping down your body. The low lying flame of desire that had settled burns back to life now and you subtly wriggle in your bed, thighs opening as your body tries to get those long fingers where you want them.

“One of the benefits of a younger man,” Wiggling his brows, he grins when you chuckle before pushing at his chest. “If our age difference is ever mentioned again then I want this to be the thing you remember most.”

And with that, he flashes his teeth in a mischievous smile before disappearing under the blanket, ignoring your shriek of laughter at how his fingers tickle. That laughter soon dissolves into a moan when he reaches his destination though and as you grasp his hair tightly, glad that you finally took the plunge and realised what a wonderful man Jung Hoseok is.

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xxxtrouvaillexxx · 3 years

Text

Let’s Strike a Deal

A/N: This is late, I know. If you have not realized from before, I’m really bad at meeting deadlines. Well, at least deadlines that I’ve created for myself to follow because I like to procrastinate things and frankly… what am I gonna do to myself? Band myself from tea until I’ve written a chapter? I don’t have the self control for that! And life is hectic. But you know, enough with my excuses and onto the story. Hope you enjoy. I always love feedback so please be sure to leave a comment! ALSO I wanted to give a TRY (key word) to first person. If I don’t like it... I might change it, idk. I should never write anything at 3am as per evidence below, especially without editing lmao

Pair: CEO!Tom x Reader

Synopsis: Y/N, the small town of Hawkshead girl trying to make her way in the big city of Westminster, London. Not as easy as she thought. When things start to take a turn for the worst one afternoon and only one man in the crowd of hundreds decides to help her, she does something rather uncharacteristic and gives her savor her number in case he could ever use help of his own. Course, she never expected for him to actually call her out on it.

Masterlist

Warning(s): none… yet. Cursing?

Word Count:

My time was limited. There was nothing left that had to be done here or anything left to pack. Everything I’ve ever owned sat in a car on the way to my new apartment and last of the suitcases were in the bed of my brothers pickup at this very moment while I sat on the floor of my room. There wasn’t anything left for me here, I knew that, but it was still difficult to say goodbye to the place that carried so many of my favorite memories and the imprints of my childhood that still were splayed around the surrounding room.

There were two dents in the wall right in front of me from when I was ten and hit my head after tripping on one of my toys, thumbtack holes that littered everywhere above the bed from forts that I would make with my brothers and friends, nail polish that was spilled on the carpet from times when I was too distracted with talking than keeping the bottle up straight, my engraved initials on the windowsill. The memories that I had made in this room were countless and they were all absolutely priceless.

“Y/N!” I heard your mother call from the living room, her voice was slightly hoarse from held back emotion and it broke my heart to hear her like that. “You got to get going, dear! You’ll miss your train if you wait much longer to head out.”

Taking a deep breath and slowly standing from the, now old, bed I made my way toward the door, feet dredging behind me and scuffing the floor as I walked out. “I know, Mama. I’m just-” the words caught in my throat and I was at a loss. “I’m really going to miss you guys so much.”

“Oh stop it, you’re gonna make me cry if you keep on like that,” She said giving a tight hug before pushing me out the front door. “You are going to love it in London so much you’re not even gonna be thinking about us here, so get goin’. Your brothers already waiting for you in the car.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at her antics, “I love you Mama! I’ll call you when I get there!”

Jumping into the passenger seat of the truck, I waved final goodbyes from the window, dramatically blowing kisses as the car started to drive away.

“You better!” She exclaimed, watching as we pulled out and down the road.

“She is going to be a mess when I get back home. I can’t believe you’re going to leave me to deal with that alone!” Christian, stuck driving you to the train station much to his dismay, gave you a mocking glare. “After all the things I’ve done for your, this is how you choose to repay me? I’m pretty sure I’m getting the short end of the stick here,” he laughed humorlessly.

“Ahhh~” I cooed and smiled, “You’re only saying that cause you know you guys’ are going to be missing me so much!”

“Miss you?” He scoffed, “Yeah right. What we’re going to be missing is your baking. It’ll be the greatest blow our family has faced since 1824.”

I gave a scathing look, “And what, if I may ask, happened in 1824?”

“Don’t know, but something bad probably.”

»»-——————————————-««

I have never been so sore getting off of a bus in her life. The cheapest route to get to Westminster from Hawkshead was a train and 8 bus stops, totaling up to 10 or so hours in and out of vehicles. I groaned and stretched when my feet planted on hard asphalt for the first time in what seemed like forever. But, for all the soreness, I had made it to my destination with time to spare.

It was louder than I had imagined, crowded with traffic from all directions and people running any which way to get on with their lives. It was bustling and busy. Lively. Not exactly what I was used to which made me smile.

Wide.

I made it.

I only had a suitcase with me, the rest of her belongings would be delivered in a few days to the new apartment.

My apartment.

I was positively giddy at the thought.

It took a lot of self control to keep from skipping down the side walks while I somehow navigated the new scenery, but I managed to keep my excitement under wraps for the time being. Arriving an hour early gave me a bit of time to take in the bigger sites near by, like the Ferris wheel, the clock tower Big Ben, and my personal favorite- Westminster Palace and abbey. It was a dream of mine since I was little to see it in person, and now here I was standing mere blocks away from the grand building, elated and amazed.

Vibrating caught my attention and I barely managed to turn my eyes away from the sites in front of me to my phone, Kyra’s name popping up on the screen. My best friend and now room mate, Kyra Bardou, who was probably wondering where the hell I was now.

“Hey,” I drawled with an obvious grin I couldn’t even hide in my voice.

“Hey yourself! I’ve been waiting at the stop for 15 minutes with no sign of you only to learn you’re already in town and didn’t even bother to tell me!” She spoke so quickly I was shocked she didn’t run out of breath and laughed.

“I’m site seeing, sue me!” I turned and started making the slow walk back, “I’ll be back in a couple minutes, I promise.”

She only grunted in response and let me walk in a comfortable silence, letting me continue to take everything in while simply enjoying her presence on the line. It was the last few moments I’d get now, the last bits of my old life slipping through my fingers like sand in exchange for a new one.

And the chaos that comes with a big city.

Like robbers.

I couldn’t even let out a cry as I was shoved to the ground, my phone forced from my hand and my suitcase caught up in a strange mans arms. It took me a whole 5 seconds to get my bearings enough to yell at the man and give chase, shouting for help though no one so much as looked our way, just moved out of his.

“Stop!” I screamed, running but quickly losing him as he bobbed and weaved through the crowd skillfully. “Stop! Someone stop him!”

And this time, someone moved to action, running past me at an alarming rate and quickly gaining ground on my assailant before they both rounded a corner and I lost sight of them.

My heart dropped and I picked up speed again, hoping that I didn’t let them get far enough away for me to lose them completely, it would have been easy for them to get away from me here.

But when I turned around the block, I found the man on the ground with the track star of a man on top of him, already on the phone with I assume the police. I finally caught up to them and without thinking, hugged the man on the phone, a silent thank you while he spoke to whoever was on the line, before I gathered my things and hugging them close to me.

He smiled kindly, finishing the call and turning to me properly while still pinning the thief to the ground. “Are you alright miss?”

“Yes! Thank you so much, I’d have been completely lost without this,” I gestured to my luggage. “I can’t thank you enough for helping me get it back. I don’t even know how to get around town yet.”

He laughed and nodded. “So new to town then. It was my pleasure to help, though I was really just doing what anyone in my position would do,” he responded kindly.

Furiously I shook my head, “No, you didn’t. I don’t believe I saw a single soul other than you move to help. Unless you did but beat them to it at the last minute. Not that that it implausible, you are seriously fast on your feet.”

He laughed again and I noticed what a nice laugh he had, it was contagious and I couldn’t help but let out a chuckle of my own now that my adrenaline was fading bit by bit. “Yes, well- I do enjoy the sport.”

“Dually noted,” I grinned, jumping a little when my phone started to buzz in my hands. Kyra’s name popping up on the screen again. “Shoot!” I exclaimed and answered. I wasn’t even able to put the phone to my ear before I heard her shouting my name on the line. “Kyra-”

“Oh my god, Y/N! What the heck happened, I heard you shout and then the line went dead! Are you okay? Did something happen? Where are you?” She was speaking so loudly I had to hold the phone away from my ear a safe distance as she spouted one question after another at me without reprieve.

My rescuer across from me chuckled, overhearing my frantic friend. “I’m fine, someone tried to steal my stuff on my way to meet you. Luckily someone came along and helped me catch him, otherwise I’d have lost everything. But everything is okay now, we are-” I looked around and realized I have no idea where we were.

He seemed to catch on to my newest distress and whispered, “Tell them we are on the corner of Tufton and Bennett’s Yard.”

I nodded and mouthed a thank you, “ Tufton and Bennett’s Yard,” I repeated and she said she’d be here in a 10 minutes and to sit and wait before hanging up the phone.

I slouched on the wall of some building, letting myself relax. “Not to be repetitive or anything, but thank you.”

He just shook his head, “No need. You’re friend sounded pretty worried about you, it wouldn’t do well to let her stew in that worry longer than needed.”

“Yeah, it’s been a few years since we last saw each other. She’d be pretty upset if something bad happened before I could even move in,” I laughed, though it didn’t quite sound right even to my ears. “I’m Y/N, by the way,” I introduced and stuck my hand out.

He took it and gave a firm shake, “Tom. It’s a pleasure to meet you Y/N. Even in these less than optimal circumstances.”

“The pleasure is mine, I assure you.”

“Y/N!” Someone yelled, and we both turned our heads to see Kyra sprinting full speed around her car and at me. I stood and braced myself for the collision of her, and fell back against the wall with the force of her body.

“Holy shit, girl! You scared the hell outta me, you could have died! This is why I told you to call me when you first got into town, you always manage to get yourself into trouble like this. What would I have told your parents if something happened, huh? Huh!?”

I grinned and pulled back to get a proper look at her. Her black hair, normally frizzy was sticking out in every direction and her honeyed eyes wide as she scanned me over, running her hands over my arms for injuries. “I’m fine, Kyra. I’m sorry I didn’t call sooner, you’re right.”

“I know I’m right!” She shot back with a glare, “That doesn’t make me feel any better!”

“Well, there is a first for everything after all.”

Tom laughed hard at our back and forth, making us both jump a little and look down at him. Before I could even say anything, Kyra was down on his level with the thieves shirt in her fists and a scowl that would scare the devil himself on her face.

“Is this the bastard that did this?”

“Let go!” I shrieked and pulled her off, albeit with a little effort. “Tom called the cops and they’ll deal with this properly. Not you,” I said sternly. She just let out a huff of a response and pushed herself back enough to look at Tom properly.

She gave him a once over and held her scowl in place, “So you’re the one who saved Y/N/N?”

He gave a small, hesitant nod and gave me a nervous glance. I just laughed and stood back up, as Kyra launched forward to give him a hug. “Thank you,” she murmured a few times and pulled back.

“No worries,” he said, and looked far less distressed now that Kyra didn’t look like she wanted to gut him. “I was there at the right time is all.”

“Yes, well- That doesn’t mean what you did was anything less than amazing. My whole life is in that bag and in that phone at the moment. Seriously, if there is anything I can do for you in return it’s yours. Ice cream, some roller skates, a kidney. Just ask.”

Everyone laughed at that and he nodded with an obviously sarcastic “sure”, just as the police arrived to take the culprit and our statements. Kyra mumbled something about them being slow and went to the car for a few minutes to be out of the way.

15 minutes later, everything was settled and they took the man away. Leaving Tom and I alone on the side walk again while I settled everything in my case to be sure I didn’t miss anything and quickly scribbled on a stray notecard.

“I meant it when I said I owe you one,” I said and handed the card with my name and number to him. “Just give me a ring if I can ever be of any help at all and I’ll come running. Though, probably much slower than you did.”

He tried to decline the offer only once, but after some persistence he took it with another smile, “Thank you, Y/N. Hopefully this will not be our last meeting. And hopefully never again under such pressing circumstances,” he held out his hand, and I took it, returning his earlier shake with a firm one of my own and I agreed.

“Until next time then,” he said and left.

I barely was able to take my seat in the car before Kyra grasped my arm with a devious smile, “Y/N/N- Did you just give that guy your number?” My silence was answer enough and she laughed, “Girl! No way!”

No way was right, I thought with a small smile of my own as we pulled away and started home.

»»-——————————————-««

TAGS: open

@drakesfiance @dumbgopher1 @kewlbeans-22

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let-the-dream-begin · 3 years

Text

In My Daughter’s Eyes Chapter 31: Home For Christmas

Chapter 30

Read on AO3

Christmas morning began with a solid weight on Claire’s back that knocked the wind out of her. Eyes still closed, she let out a stifled oomf, and heard a low chuckle beside her. (They’d both made sure they were fully clothed before falling asleep for this exact reason.)

“Aye, good morning, leannan.”

Claire groaned; of course the man was already awake, and had probably been more than capable of stopping Faith from pouncing on her. When the tiny slaps to her head began, he finally intervened.

“Alright, alright, let’s be nice.” The weight was removed, and Claire finally opened her eyes, rolling over to see that Jamie had lifted Faith bodily off of her, and was holding her up on his shins, holding her hands: playing airplane.

“Merry Christmas,” Jamie crooned up to Faith, and she squealed, kicking her legs. If Jamie didn’t have her hands, she’d have toppled over. But Claire knew he’d never let her fall. “Aye, merry Christmas, lass.”

Claire sighed heavily and forced herself to sit up, smiling lazily at the pair of them. “Merry Christmas, baby girl.”

Claire might as well have not said a thing; she was still giggling at Jamie and kicking her legs. Claire gave him a look, and he winked at her before letting Faith gently plop on the mattress between them.

“Hi,” Claire said, bending down to kiss her. “Merry Christmas.”

Faith hummed in response, squirming out of bed by climbing over Claire.

“Merry Christmas, Sassenach.”

Claire looked up to see Jamie sitting up, hair tousled, clothes rumpled from playing with her daughter, a lazy, peaceful grin on his face. Even as Faith relentlessly tugged on Claire’s hand, groaning impatiently, Claire leaned over to kiss him.

“Merry Christmas, love.”

Faith could be held up no longer, and soon both adults were being led to the tree, crouched over so as to have one each of her little hands. Gillian, thank God, already had coffee brewing, having already been trampled by Faith herself on the air mattress. Gillian had offered to get a hotel room this year, not wanting to overcrowd Claire now that she knew Jamie would be joining them, but Claire would not hear of it, and neither would Jamie. Both ladies were wearing their matching set of Christmas pajamas, and Jamie dramatically remarked how left out he felt to not have received his own pair for this year.

“I’ll remember that fer next year,” Gillian said wryly, handing them each their own festive mugs of coffee.

Air mattress out of the way and coffee distributed, Faith was tearing into the first of three bigger boxes before anybody could stop her.

“That’s from Auntie Gi, darling,” Claire said, nestled tightly against Jamie, laying her still sleepy head on his shoulder, smiling contentedly. Claire knew exactly what was in those three identically sized boxes, and she fully expected the joyful stimming that erupted from Faith. It was an Animator Doll, the Anna one. Claire had seen them in the Disney store and decided that Faith absolutely had to have one, then Gi had offered to get her one, and so had Jamie.

Faith handed the unwrapped box to Gillian without so much as looking at her before she moved onto the next one, a gesture that very clearly meant: free her from her box immediately.

The three adults chuckled, Gillian muttering to herself as she headed to the kitchen to get scissors.

“That’s from Mummy,” Claire said, though she was sure it was falling on deaf ears. Claire had gotten the Elsa one, and the box was shuffled over to Gillian, still just beginning to open the Anna box. Faith moved onto the third box, Claire reminding her it was from Jamie as she got up from the couch, abandoning his warmth to help Gillian with the boxes before they fell behind and Faith had a fit.

The third doll was Merida, the one Jamie insisted he get for her. Faith hummed loudly and flapped her hands, squealing with delight. She looked over to see Auntie Gi and Mummy busy trying to free Anna and Elsa, so she picked up the box to shuffle over to Jamie in her silent request.

“D’ye like it, Faith?” Jamie said, setting his mug down to take the box. “She’s our lass, aye?”

Faith nodded, then bounded back to the tree.

“Faith Julia,” Claire called. “I won’t finish opening these until you say thank you.”

She hastily kissed Gillian’s cheek, to which she replied, “Ye’re welcome, Pipsqueak,” then Claire’s, answered by “You’re welcome, lovie,” and then Jamie’s.

“Ye’re very welcome, mo chridhe.”

The next few gifts were from Santa: a few DVD’s Faith had been asking for (one day she pulled up a list on her tablet of every single Disney film ever made alongside their DVD cover and started pointing to the ones they didn’t own, some that Claire hadn’t thought about in years) and a few she had not, a plush of the pig and chicken from Moana, a new puzzle, and a set of Merida pajamas. By the time Faith got through tearing all the wrapping off, all of her new treasures were freed from their boxes and plastic wrapping. The pajamas had come last, and before anyone could stop her, she was pulling her nightgown over her head.

“Faith, wait, that’s not — ”

Before Claire could remind her that she was to get dressed in her bedroom, and that anywhere else was inappropriate, Jamie was already holding the shirt over her head, smiling at her as she poked her head through. Claire shook her head, trying to suppress the smile that insisted on making its way across her face. She just sighed, letting Jamie finish dressing her, and Gillian snorted into her coffee mug.

While Faith got started arranging her dolls and toys on the coffee table and finding spaces for her new DVD’s among the rest of her collection, the adults began their own gift exchange. Gillian and Jamie exchanged gifts first, each giving the other Scottish-themed holiday baubles, causing all three adults to laugh. Claire got Gillian a shot glass with a bawdy quote that served her all too well, and Gillian got Claire a small potted succulent, the pot having been hand painted by her.

Claire was nervous; she was always a terrible gift-giver. Frank had been content to receive the most generic man-gifts known to humankind, but Claire knew full well that Jamie deserved more than that. Yet even as she handed him the box, she was worried she’d still gotten just another generic man-gift.

Jamie grinned at her as he took the box, opening it with care, as if to not disturb the wrapping. He would be the type to open presents that way. He set the paper aside and opened the box.

“Open the card second,” Claire said quickly as he picked up the envelope. He looked at her sideways, then set the envelope aside. After unfolding the wrapping paper, he pulled it out: a gray Scottish tweed cap.

Jamie was grinning ear to ear, examining the fabric. “It’s authentic,” Claire chimed in. “Made sure of it.”

“It’s braw, Sassenach.”

“I saw on Facebook your father had one in a lot of your photos, but I never saw you with one. So I thought I’d give you a bit of Scotland for Christmas.”

His grin spread wider, if that was even possible. “Thank you, Sassenach. I love it.”

“Put it on,” Claire demanded. “I want to see.”

Jamie chuckled, but he obliged, and Claire’s heart fluttered.

“What d’ye think?”

Claire leaned in so their faces were inches apart. “You’re as dashing as ever.”

He captured her lips sweetly, both of them grinning into the kiss.

“Oi,” Gillian barked. “Ye’ve an audience, here.”

They broke apart, still grinning, and Claire rolled her eyes. “Alright.” She swiped the cap off of Jamie’s head and put it on herself. “Open the card now.”

Jamie chuckled, taking up the envelope. “Ye dinna look bad yerself, lass.”

Claire stuck her chin up proudly. “A girlfriend always ensures she looks good in the clothing she buys her boyfriend.”

Jamie shook his head as he tore open the envelope, a blush creeping up his neck.

“What?”

“Nothin’.”

“What?” she demanded, shoving him by the shoulder.

He glanced at Gillian and then sighed in resignation. “I was thinkin’,” he whispered in her ear so that only she could hear, “what ye might look like wearing just the cap.”

Claire’s stomach flipped, her breath stuttering. “We’ll just have to see, won’t we?”

He bit her earlobe in response, and she squealed.

“Oi!” Gillian shouted. “There’s a bairn. No’ to mention me.”

The pair of them just laughed, and Jamie continued tearing into the envelope. Claire remembered exactly what she’d written; she’d agonized over it for hours and days:

Merry Christmas, Jamie. You’ve changed my life for the better in every imaginable way. I love you.

Your Sassenach,

Claire

He kissed her again, and Gillian was no doubt rolling her eyes.

“Trust me, mo ghraidh,” he said. “Ye’ve changed my life, too. Made me whole.”

Claire briefly indulged his beautiful words, stroking his jaw, before pulling away so he would look at what was inside the card.

“What’s this?”

“It’s a subscription to something called Flaviar,” Claire explained. “Once a quarter you get all these samples of rare whisky. Right up your alley.”

Jamie beamed. “This is unbelievable!”

“You can go on the website and customize your account with your personal preferences,” Claire went on.

“Sassenach…” he laughed. “It’s great. It’s so great.”

Claire smiled back at him. “I’m glad you like it.”

With one final kiss (and an eye roll from Gillian), Jamie picked up his gift to Claire and handed it to her, a large square box. He looked just as antsy as she had felt giving him her gift. She tore open the paper with no such grace that he’d possessed when opening his. There was a plain white box, and Claire opened the lid and gasped. She reached in and pulled out a miniature greenhouse of sorts: a white framed structure of clear plastic, open on one side. There was tissue paper packed inside the structure, and Claire unburied a box labeled: Medicinal & Herbal Tea Indoor Herb Garden Starter Kit.

Her heart positively melted as another small gasp escaped her lips. “Jamie…”

“I noticed yer wee balcony garden a while back, Faith’s party I think,” he said. “Figured ye missed yer wee herbs in the cold months. So.”

“Oh, Jamie…there’s so much here!” She turned the box over and rattled off the list of seeds included. “Chamomile, Lavender, Lemon Mint, Calendula, Yarrow, Sage, Rosemary, Fennel, Lemon Balm, Peppermint, Hyssop…” She trailed off, realizing no one else had any bloody clue what she was saying. “This is more than I was even able to find myself.”

He shrugged. “Amazon has it all.”

“It’s perfect. It’s wonderful.” Her heart was fluttering; she felt like a kid in a candy store. “This, did you get this on Amazon, too?” She gestured to the greenhouse.

“Oh. I made that.”

Claire was gobsmacked, her mouth falling open. “Made it?”

“Aye. Wasna too difficult. Ye could just put them on the windowsill, but I thought it would be nicer in something a bit more decorative.” He suddenly looked very shy, as if apprehensive of the quality of his own handiwork.

“It’s beautiful.” She cupped his face in her hands, having put the box of herbs in her lap. “All of it. You are amazing.”

He was blushing, and Claire wanted to kiss every inch of his face that was splotching red. He still had no idea how bloody wonderful he was.

“There’s, ehm, one more thing.” He pointed to the packed tissue paper inside the greenhouse, and Claire reached inside, pulling out a small, long and narrow box. She tossed her head back, laughing out loud. It was a little dirt poker with a ceramic heart on the end that read: “I Dig You.”

Claire tossed it to Gillian, who also began snorting with laughter. “Oh, that’s awful.”

“Aye, aye,” Jamie said, laughing. “I couldna resist.”

“Oh, God…” Claire said, still laughing as she cupped his face again. “I dig you, too, love.”

Claire felt very much like Faith with her toys, wanting to tear into her gift and begin planting everything immediately. Sadly, it would have to wait, as there was much to do today before they met the Murrays at Jamie’s apartment.

“Faithie,” Claire crooned. She had finished filing away her DVD’s and was now surveying the dolls and toys she’d arranged atop the coffee table. “It’s your turn, lovie. Remember your gifts?”

She did not respond at all or give any indication that she’d heard her.

“Faith, come here,” Claire said, getting an idea. She took off Jamie’s cap. “Do you want to wear Jamie’s hat?”

She immediately picked her head up and scampered over to them, grabbing greedily for the cap. Claire let Faith feel the textures inside and out before plopping it on her little head.

“You look lovely,” Claire said, poking her nose. “This was my gift to Jamie. Where are your gifts, baby? Do you remember?”

Faith just giggled, spinning around with her hands on her head, on the hat. Claire sighed with a laugh, taking her by the shoulders and redirecting her to the tree. “Here, darling. See? Give one to Auntie Gi, one to Jamie, and one to me.”

Claire knew what was inside the shoddy wrapping; Faith had brought them home from school and they’d wrapped them together. She watched as Faith obeyed, handing one to each of the three adults, and Claire had to pull her into her lap to stop her from bolting off. They all opened them at the same time, Claire letting Faith “help” to keep her engaged.

“Oh! Look at that!” Claire said with exaggerated excitement, despite having seen it already. The other adults gave similar verbal reactions. “Oh, who is that? Who’s that, Faith?”

It was a large foam snowflake, each of the three decorated generously with glitter of all festive colors, a photograph in the center. The teacher had asked how many adults were in Faith’s life that would need one, which Claire appreciated. Faith still did not like to be photographed, so only half of her face was visible, due to the fact that she was hiding in Angus’s fur. But, it was better than the ones with her hands covering her entire face. And it was rather sweet, really, the way she was hugging her dog.

“Who is that, Faith?” Claire said again, pointing. Faith jabbed her finger into the picture, humming and bouncing in her lap. “Yes, who is it?” With an explosive squeal, Faith poked herself in the chest over and over. “Yes, good job!”

“Good girl,” Jamie echoed, and Gillian said, “Yay!”

“Who else?” Jamie chimed in, pointing at Angus in the photograph. “Who’s that, Faith?”

Faith gave another little shriek and pointed at Angus, chewing at his Christmas treat in the corner of the room on his bed.

“Ah! Good job!” Jamie gave her tiny thigh a squeeze, and the women cheered quietly as well.

“Thank you, baby,” Claire crooned, hugging her tightly and kissing her temple. “I love my present. Go give hugs.” She passed Faith over to Jamie, who held her tightly to his chest in his lap.

“Thank you, m’annsachd. I love it very much. I’m gonnae put it right on my tree when we get to my house.” He gave her one final squeeze before sending her off to Gillian, who had to call Faith’s name several times to get her to actually come to her.

“Thank ye very much, my sweet wee lass.” She gave her a loud kiss on the cheek. “Best present yet this year.”

Presents all distributed and Faith’s ornament hung on the tree, they moved into the kitchen for their Edible Arrangement breakfast. When Claire had explained to Jamie the Christmas traditions, he’d offered to pick up the ingredients for the cookies. When he’d asked, “What don’t ye have?” and Claire had answered: “Uh…the cookie mix and the icing?” he’d laughed out loud. Evidently, he’d thought they’d be making them from scratch, which was quite bold of him to assume, considering who he was dating. In the end, Jamie brought over ingredients for homemade sugar cookies, and the four of them had a grand old time forming the dough, rolling it out, and using the cookie cutters, all with Christmas music playing, of course.

While they were baking, Jamie encouraged Faith to pick out one of her new Christmas DVDs to watch. Claire had mentioned that she was not a fan of using streaming services, wanting to feel the physical copy in her hands and have a space where it belonged that was in her control. So Jamie purchased half a dozen movies that were already streaming somewhere, being that he wanted to watch a Christmas movie with his girls, but wanted to do it in a way that Faith would be happiest with.

And so, Jamie sat squished into the corner of the couch with Claire curled into him like a kitten, Faith at attention between the cushions with Gillian on the other side of her, with Home Alone playing on the tellie. Claire was nursing her second mug of coffee, warmed by it head to toe, along with Jamie’s occasional kiss to her head, or the deep rumbling in his chest that echoed against Claire’s back when he laughed.

Last Christmas, Claire had confidently told Gillian that it was the best one she’d ever had. And now, the future was bright with possibility, the promise of each holiday getting better and better with Jamie there. Hell, each month, each week, each day, every hour, minute, and second was better than the last with Jamie in her life.

God, she was never letting him go.

——

Jamie had given his sister a key to his apartment for her to use in the event that they were late coming from Claire's apartment because of Faith or any other mishaps. They were, in fact, perfectly on time, arriving at 1:30 exactly, giving them plenty of time to get things in order for the arrival of Jamie’s family.

And yet, Jenny’s rental car was there waiting anyway.

Jamie sighed, rolling his eyes as he parked his car.

“Shoulda known,” he said. “Maybe she’d come when I wanted her to if I told her four.”

Claire squeezed his knee, and he could tell she was trying not to laugh. “She’s going to have all the food out already, isn’t she?”

“Aye, that she is.”

Faith insisted on being carried by Jamie, refusing to even let herself be unbuckled from her car seat until Jamie tried. This left Claire and Gillian to handle the presents and Angus. Gillian had driven over Claire’s car so Jamie could spend the night with his family after they had to go back to Claire’s.

Jamie announced his presence as he unlocked the front door, but there was no need. Everyone was sitting in his living room, everyone except Jenny. Before he could ask, his father cut in:

“We tried tae offer help,” he said wryly. “Yer darling martyr sister shoved us out of the kitchen and told us she didna need us mucking anything up.”

“Out of my kitchen,” Jamie grumbled, rolling his eyes. “Aye, well, Merry Christmas, everyone.”

“Merry Christmas, son.” Brian stood up out of the recliner to embrace his son, cupping Faith’s head gently as he pulled away. “Merry Christmas, lassie. Great to see ye again.”

Jamie took note that his nephew was playing the Wii again, and he briefly wondered which of the three adults had known how to set it up. Unless the wee imp already figured it out.

“Merry Christmas, Claire,” Brian said warmly, embracing Claire tightly. “This is Gillian?”

“Yes! My best friend, and a Scot to boot,” Claire stepped aside.

“Pleasure,” Gillian said, shaking Brian’s hand. “Thank ye so much fer having me.”

“Any family of my son’s lass is family of mine,” he said, genuine as anything.

Ian greeted everyone next, and it only took a few seconds before Maggie was on Claire’s hip. Jamie watched with weak knees as she babbled to the baby and made adorable faces at her, reveling in the sound of their mingled giggling. Offers of playing with the baby was the only way to get Faith to allow herself to be put down, and then Jamie was off to the kitchen.

“Merry Christmas, Janet,” he said, watching as she finished arranging appetizers on a large serving plate.

“Merry Christmas, brother,” she said, her voice chipper.

“I see ye’ve got yer son on more of those mind-numbing video games.”

“Och, come off it. It was the only way to get him out of my hair.”

“Ye could have waited fer us. I could have helped.”

“Nonsense. I’m used to being the host on Christmas. Why should that change?”

“…Because ye’re not the host this Christmas?”

She shot him a dangerous look, and he gave up, putting his hands up in surrender. “We’re just inside when ye’re finished, o gracious host.”

Jamie produced the ornament Faith had made him and let her place it on the tree, and Ian and Brian remarked how lovely it was, how fine it looked on the tree. Shortly after, Jenny fluttered in with the tray of arranged food, and then the whisky and wine was flowing. Wee Jamie was pulled away from the Wii so the repeat marathon of A Christmas Story could be put on, and the adults sat and talked and laughed while Faith went back and forth between her mother’s lap, Auntie Gi’s lap, Jamie’s lap, and the baby mat that Maggie was playing on.

Jamie was going on and on about how great Faith was doing at the stables, how well her transition had gone between therapists. He knew full well that around this time last year, Jenny had been overly concerned with the propriety of this relationship, whether or not it was a relationship back then not mattering in the least to her. He emphasized how important it had been for there to be a boundary set between mom’s boyfriend and horse therapist. Jessica and Faith were developing a really special bond that was really lovely to see from the outside.

Not to mention that standing there with Claire and cheering her on together was one of the highlights of his entire week.

“What day of the week did ye say she goes?” Ian asked.

“Fridays,” Claire answered.

“Oh, and there’s a break fer the holidays,” Ian said, sounding sad. “I would ha’ loved to see her ride. We’ll be flying back before it starts again.”

Jamie’s chest warmed, and he felt Claire melt against him, and looked down to see her genuinely touched.

“I…I have videos, if you want to see,” Claire said tentatively.

“Oh do ye?” Ian lit up, and Jenny and Brian beamed.

“Yeah, hold on…”

Jamie watched as Claire clicked through her photos and found all the ones grouped by location at the stables. She scrolled all the way back to last September, and Jamie’s heart flipped.

“I’ve never seen these,” he said, leaning in.

“Oh,” Claire said, and he could feel her blush before he saw it, heat radiating from her sweater-clad form. “Well, at the time it didn’t seem appropriate to show you. But yes…there are quite a few that you…haven’t seen.”

Before long, Claire was sitting back as Jamie and his family combed through every photo and video of Faith at the stables. There were hundreds from her first day alone, and when they got to Halloween, Jenny smacked her brother’s arm.

“Oh, come on! Dinna tell me that wasna planned!”

“It wasn’t,” Claire said. “Faith chose it because Merida rides horses.”

“She’s sae smart,” Brian said, oozing with pride. Jamie’s eyes twinkled.

“Oh…look at this one…” Jenny put a hand on her heart. “The way he’s looking at her, even all the way back then!”

Ian and Brian nodded in agreement, smiling. Jamie leaned in and felt his breath catch in his throat. He remembered the moment clear as anything.

“Could I get one of her with Pippi before you put her away? Without the helmet?”

“Aye, of course.”

Faith hadn’t wanted to move just yet, and Jamie hadn’t seen the harm in letting them have one more moment together. And apparently Claire had snapped the exact moment where Jamie was struck by how amazing it was that the stars had aligned just so to allow him to have even the smallest part in this child’s life, remarkable as she was.

Even all the way back then.

“I used to stare at that one,” Claire admitted sheepishly, quietly, as if trying to confess to Jamie alone. “Random times during the day, I’d find myself looking at it. And I still managed to convince myself until July that that wasn’t strange at all.”

Jamie chuckled wetly, blinking away unexpected tears. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and fervently kissed the crown of her head.

“It’s like I knew,” Claire said, even quieter, as Jamie’s family started playing a video on the phone. “Like I knew that someday she’d be yours.”

Yours.

Jamie’s eyes lifted up to see Faith rocking and flapping her hands on Maggie’s play mat, bottom lip tucked firmly under her teeth, humming.

Mine.

“That,” Jamie whispered into her curls, “is the greatest gift you could give me, Sassenach.”

She kissed his cheek, and they returned their attention to the phone. After several minutes and several repeated, “Oh, beautiful!” “She’s a fine rider!” and “What a braw lass!”, the conversation steered in different directions. Jamie noticed that Claire kept turning her head toward wee Jamie, and during a lull in the conversation, she called out to him.

“Your uncle told me you play football, is that true?”

“Aye!” the lad burst proudly, eyes immediately lighting up. He shuffled closer to her, standing in front of where she sat on the couch.

“That’s amazing.” Claire beamed. “I wish I could see you play. I bet you’re so good.”

“I am,” he said, nodding curtly. “Ye can come next Christmas, and watch me then!”

Claire looked up at Jamie, who nodded encouragingly. “Yes, I’ll have to do just that.”

“I’ve got videos of some of his games,” Jenny chimed in. “If ye really want to see.”

“Of course I do!” Claire’s voice was filled with genuine excitement, and little Jamie was alight with joy.

“I want tae see! Let me watch!”

“Dinna crowd her, now.”

“No, it’s alright. Do you want to sit with me?”

The boy bit his lip and scrambled into Claire’s lap, and she accepted him into her embrace like it was the most natural thing in the world. Jamie watched, his heart melting as his nephew snuggled closer and closer into her, giggling every time Claire cheered for him on the screen. When he was able to tear his eyes away from them, he looked up to see Jenny beaming at them as well. She looked up, and their eyes met over Claire’s head, and Jenny’s smile widened.

It struck Jamie that of course his wee nephew would feel left out with all this talk about Faith, and he was far too young to understand that her achievements were all the more special because of her disability. So naturally he would feel like nobody cared as much about him as they did about Faith. And it was just so like Claire to notice that, and to take the initiative to make him feel included, make him feel special.

“Oh! What a save!” Claire exclaimed, and little Jamie laughed. Apparently he’d been playing goalie that day, and had actually managed to toe away the ball that was headed at him at about half a mile an hour. “You saved the whole game!”

Jenny flicked her eyes back to the screen. “Aye, that’s one of my favorites.” She ruffled her son’s hair, and Claire smiled at her. Jenny glanced up at Jamie once more, and she winked at him. In that moment, Jamie heard her loud and clear.

She's a keeper, brother.

Before long, dinner was served. When Claire complimented the ham, both Jamie and Jenny answered with thanks, and Jamie shot Jenny a look.

“Just because you put it in the oven doesna take away the marinating and seasoning I did.”

Claire just laughed, shaking her head at the two of them. “I can’t imagine what it was like to have raised those two,” she said, leaning over to Brian.

“Aye, ye’ve no idea.” They shared a laugh like lifelong friends cracking an inside joke, and Jamie had to laugh, too.

Could she have fit in any more perfectly?

After dinner was present time. Wee Jamie was bouncing off the walls nearly as bad as Faith. The kids of course went first, and Jamie made sure to emphasize that his nephew’s gift was from him and Claire both. She had helped him pick it and they split the cost. It was a wooden train set, complete with curves and ups and downs and Thomas and a few friends. Jenny chided both of them for buying something so expensive, but Claire waved it off.

“It’s from both of us,” Claire insisted. “And look how happy he is.”

“Thank you, Uncle! Thank you, Auntie!”

Jamie’s stomach flipped. “Lad—”

“You’re very welcome,” Claire interrupted, accepting the crushing embrace he was squeezing around her legs. “I’m so glad you love it.”

“Aye, you’re welcome, lad. But—”

“No, Jamie, he can call me that. It’s okay.” Claire said quickly. “If that’s how it makes sense to him, then I don’t see why not.”

He looked back and forth between the lad’s shining face and Claire’s flushed cheeks, then up at Jenny, who shrugged with a smirk.

“Aye. That’s…that’s fine.”

By the time Jamie’s head stopped spinning, Faith was already halfway finished tearing open the first box that she’d reached for. It was a horse for a barbie doll to accompany the rest of the gift in another box. Wee Jamie tore open the gift from his grandda while Faith reached for the other box, and Jamie watched with bated breath, knowing exactly what was inside. Claire crouched down next to her daughter, cheering on Faith’s paper tearing excitedly.

“Oh, Faithie, look!”

Jamie met Jenny’s eye; she looked nervous.

“It’s a barbie with a dog, and he looks just like Angus!” Claire opened her mouth to keep talking, but her breath caught in her throat, and her fingertips rested tentatively on the fabric taped to the plastic of the box, right over the dog inside. Her mouth hung open, and she looked up at Jenny, her eyes glistening.

“Where…did you get this…?”

“I made it,” Jenny said sheepishly.

Claire’s mouth fell open wider, and she blinked rapidly. Faith, completely oblivious to her mother’s emotion, thrust both boxes toward her, demanding they be opened. Jamie stepped in to help, having already grabbed the scissors in anticipation of this request. He sat down next to Claire and put his hand on her knee.

“I sent her a picture of Angus,” Jamie explained, poking the fabric on the box. “And Jen hunted down a small enough print, made a pattern, everything.”

Jamie freed the plastic dog first and untaped Jenny’s creation, then slipped it on.

“Look, Faith, see?” Faith took it in her hands eagerly. “Now he’s just like Angus.”

Barbie’s dog now proudly wore a rainbow, puzzle piece-patterned vest that read, in tiny, carefully stitched lettering: “Autism Service Dog.”

“See, lass?” Jenny chimed in, kneeling in front of Faith. “This barbie is just like you.”

Jamie’s heart was fit to burst as Faith flapped her hands with glee, and Claire half laughed, half sobbed beside him.

“Jenny…” Claire croaked. “This is…beyond…” She sniffled and swallowed, quickly swiping tears off her cheeks with the sleeve of her sweater.

“Every wee lass deserves to see herself in Barbie,” Jenny said it like she was reciting a cheesy toy advertisement on the tellie, but Jamie could see the emotion behind her eyes.

Claire leaned forward and threw her arms around Jenny, and she squeezed right back.

“That means…so much to me. More than I can ever say.”

“You’re very welcome, Claire. So very welcome.”

Jamie felt tears pricking his own eyes, and might have succumbed to them if Faith hadn’t been moaning impatiently about freeing her doll and its horse from their confines.

Jamie’s girls pulled away from one another, each smiling wetly.

“If my son can call ye Auntie, d’ye think it’s alright if I call ye Sister?”

Claire’s smile grew impossibly wider, and she nodded. “I would be absolutely honored.”

And suddenly, for Jamie, every single thing was right in the world.

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bookishofalder · 3 years

Text

Pretty Girl - Two

Summary: In which Flip struggles with his feelings for the reader, and his emotions hit the breaking point when she is threatened.

Warnings: Swearing, suggestion of slur (not written), masturbation, violence, angry Flip, sexism. WC- 3,030

A/N- I rewrote this chapter a few times to get it just right, I really wanted to convey the struggle Flip is having. Feedback is appreciated!

It was late October, the chill in the air crisp as the apple cider (Y/N) had brewed and brought in to the station, using a hot plate to keep it warm. It filled the whole building with the scent, which was a pleasant upgrade from the usual mix of cigarette smoke and body odour and leather. She had even commissioned the local elementary school to draw autumn-themed pictures for decoration. As a way to boost morale and community engagement, she proudly displayed them in the lobby for everyone to admire when they came to and from the station.

Flip had teased her when he found her one morning, standing on a chair to tape the photos up. Now slightly taller than him, she turned with care and playfully glared down at him.

“One more word, detective, and I’ll be assigning you to take over the job,” she threatened, then added, “I should have done that in the first place, actually. You don’t even need the chair.”

He laughed loudly, “Apologies, I know it’s not your fault you’re so-“

“Seriously, don’t finish that sentence, Flip!” She giggled, her hand reaching out and ruffling his hair. Before Flip could react fully to the sensation of it, she was shooing him away and chastising him for distracting her. She grinned as he retreated, his hands in the air in surrender.

However, he had spent the rest of that day replaying the feel of her hand on his head.

Although neither of them had discussed it, it had become a routine for Flip to give (Y/N) rides to and from work regularly. They both enjoyed each other's company, their friendship solidifying, and it wasn’t like he had to go out of his way. To thank him, (Y/N) insisted on bringing him breakfast. Fried egg sandwiches and a hot dark roast coffee were handed to him every morning. Along with her endearing ability to make him smile, Flip was more than satisfied with the arrangement.

If their colleagues at the CSPD noticed the closeness developing between Flip and (Y/N), none remarked on it initially to either of them. Secretly, many of the detectives who knew Flip were beyond grateful for the friendship, as it brought out a side of him that they would all agree, if asked, was more tolerable and likeable to his usual angry demeanour.

It wasn’t until a young rookie officer had spotted them arrive one morning a few weeks after Flip had started driving in with (Y/N), that the rest of the station came to learn the relationship was more important to him than he let on. His rare show of emotions the indication that alerted them.

The rookie had met up with Flip in the bullpen, loudly inquiring as to whether he was banging the hot new secretary, a cocky grin on his face, expecting perhaps a joking reply, or scandalous gossip.

For most of the detectives in the room that knew Flip, a collective intake of their breath and exchange of weary glances took place. They had watched apprehensively as he had turned to Caruthers, a glare that defined to term, ‘if looks could kill’ marring his handsome features. Flip then knocked the coffee out of Caruthers's hands and jabbed him in the chest as he had shouted. The rookie had nearly pissed himself, apologizing profusely before running off. Flip had then glared around the room, daring anyone else to suggest such a thing, but no one was stupid enough, and those who Flip worked closely with were better men than the likes of Caruthers.

As Flip had taken his seat, his blood boiling at the inappropriate question, he considered the reason for his over the top reaction. (Y/N) had brought a lot of happiness into his life, filling a void he hadn’t taken the time to recognize had grown over the last few years. Loneliness, the acceptance of retaining his bachelor status permanently. And the realization, when she would casually touch him, that he was touch starved. He was already comfortable with, and protective of, their friendship. The last thing he wanted at that moment was for her to overhear Caruthers suggestion, should it cause a rift between them.

And, if he was honest with himself, he recognized that his feelings for her were...complicated. If he were to see a reaction in her at the suggestion they were sleeping together, he was not sure what that could do to them. The idea that Flip could lose (Y/N) terrified him.

So he actively worked to push his feelings down, preferring the safety of friendship. The safety of routine and the expected.

Today, Flip and Jimmy returned from a successful arrest on a perp they’d been following for weeks. They had managed to nail him while he was completing a small drug shipment from his mother’s garage. The whole arrest took them only just over an hour, and it was clean-the suspect, upon seeing the two detectives, surrendered.

When they arrived back at the station, Flip lingered outside to finish his smoke, feeling pretty satisfied with how the arrest went down and looking forward to sharing the success with (Y/N). He never told her anything classified, however in her position she was privy to a lot of sensitive information. She knew the details of most of the cases the detectives worked on.

He found it effortless to share the good days straight away, enjoying the way her features lit up at his words. Regardless of what she was working on, she would give him her full attention. The bad days she coaxed out of Flip with care during the drive to her home, always ready to comfort him or offer words of encouragement.

“Did you have a rough day, detective?” She had asked him one afternoon as they walked to his truck. He had been silent when approaching her at the end of the day, giving her a brief nod as she joined his pace and they hurried out of the station.

Flip had glanced down at her, unable to keep the frown off of his face. She merely tilted her head, her eyes soft as she waited patiently for him to speak, to say whatever he needed to. He had taken a deep breath before relenting.

“Just, usual bullshit from the Chief, about a case I worked just before you joined us.” He wasn’t able to elaborate, the entire case classified. Even files had been destroyed to keep it under wraps. Which was part of the reason he was so annoyed-he felt they could have accomplished more if they’d remained undercover longer. The Chief wholly disagreed.

Part of Flip had wondered if she would tease him, or tell him off for whining; a reaction that would have been entirely unsurprising from any of his fellow detectives. “Flip, do me a favour, tough man?” She had asked instead, leaning slightly against the side of his truck and gazing up at him.

“What’s that, darling?”

(Y/N) smiled, “When you walk through those doors at the end of the day,” She gestured at the main entrance, “You leave all the bullshit behind, don’t take it home with you anymore.”

He returned her smile, shrugging, “What if it’s too much to leave behind?” He hadn’t meant for the words to come out so quietly. (Y/N) stepped closer to him, their bodies inches apart, and Flip found himself unable to tear his gaze away from her (y/e/c) eyes.

“Then let me help you carry it, at least.” She had replied, voice equally as soft.

After a pause, she had patted his arm gently before moving to climb into the truck.

“Flip,” He glanced up, pulled from his thoughts, to see Jimmy standing at the main station doors. His expression was unusually annoyed. Flip tossed his smoke, stomping it out.

“What is it?”

Jimmy shook his head, “You ain’t gonna like this.” And he pulled open the door. The sounds of a man shouting were the first thing to reach Flip’s ears, and he followed Jimmy inside, curious.

The shouting man had his finger angrily pointed at (Y/N), who was standing behind the counter. His yells echoed off the walls, a jarring contrast to the warmth and professionalism the station usually exuded. (Y/N) was positioned somewhat defensively in front of Donna-who Flip only noticed as he was approaching-her jaw set and mouth in a thin line. His eyes assessed her quickly, taking in her crossed arms and narrowed eyes, while he moved toward the scene with fast steps.

“I don’t give a god damn that he’s a police detective, I’m telling you no-” As the man uttered a slur, Flip’s frown morphed into a glare. He made his way down the hall unnoticed by everyone, all attention on the man. He hated when men cursed and uttered slurs in front of ladies. He especially hated that it was being directed at (Y/N). “-is going to be arresting my son, no sir, now you get that damn-“

“Sir, I’m not going to tell you again, your son was arrested, lawfully by a respected Detective of this station. Now lower your voice and I would be happy to take you to see your son and meet the detective.” Flip had never seen her angry-or even annoyed-but at that moment her eyes were narrowed, lips twisted in distaste as if the irritation tasted sour on her tongue. He did not like seeing (Y/N) upset, nor treated so poorly.

Her reasonable words served to merely enrage the large man further, his face reddening as he stepped closer to the counter. Flip, still unnoticed, moved to step in and lead the man away, his intention simply to diffuse the situation. However, there was a pressure building in his chest; the next few moments seemed to slow down in his red hazed vision, his willpower strong enough to remain professional, his hand reaching out to touch the man's shoulder-

Only the fucker pointed, his dirty hand inches from (Y/N)’s face, and rudely snarled, “Shut up bitch, and get me a white detective to talk to before I-“

The pressure hit a breaking point.

Flip instead seized that hand and twisted it behind the asshole’s back. A growl ripped from his chest as he used his free hand to grab the back of the man's neck and force him down, bending him over the counter. A wave of gratification swept through Flip when the man grunted in pain and surprise, his face pressed to the countertop.

“You were looking for a white Detective, I hear?” He snarled, his grip too tight for the man to struggle against. Flip was much too angry, a fact that his rational mind was concerning over-he had been fine moments before. Movement out of the corner of his eye had Flip glancing up, his eyes meeting (Y/N)’s over the desk. “You alright, darling?” His voice considerably softer as he surveyed her, concerned.

She nodded, her eyes holding his gaze steadily. “Just fine, Detective.” (Y/N) quickly assured him. Flip thought he saw something pass through her gaze, but before he could read it, it was gone. Something about that look had the thundering rage inside of him fading, which was for the best. He loosened his grip, slightly, resisting the urge to cause further harm.

Adrenaline coursed through Flip’s body, eyes never breaking away from hers. She seemed to draw him in, the look alone calming him further.

“Alright, sir, you’re coming with me, we’re going to have a little chat on how we conduct ourselves around ladies.” Jimmy stepped up, smirking, and cuffed the man. Flip looked away from (Y/N), and watched his partner and a uniformed officer lead the man away.

Flip momentarily considered following, but thought better of it. He drew a steadying breath of air, his anger dissolving as quickly as it had come on.

“Oh Donna, are you okay?”

Flip turned at the sound of (Y/N)‘s voice. Donna was visibly upset, her gentle nature affected. (Y/N), it seemed, was much less shaken. She wrapped her arms around Donna and gave her a comforting hug.

“I’m being silly, really,” Donna gulped, wiping at her eyes, “I’ve seen it all, at my age, you know. I just really worried he was going to hop the counter!”

(Y/N) patted her back, “I did too, but we’re alright, thanks to Detective Zimmerman. Why don’t you head home early?”

Flip agreed, ignoring the swell of pride at her words, “You don’t need to be worrying about us, Donna, you go ahead home and tell Carl I defended your honour on his behalf.” Flip joked, causing his matronly friend to give a shaky laugh and wipe away her tears. (Y/N) gave him a grateful look.

Flip stuck around while Donna gathered her things and bid them farewell, never taking his eyes off of (Y/N). She had walked over to the benches that lined the wall, taking a seat and letting her head fall back against the brick. Waving happily as Donna walked out, her smile dropped when she was out of sight.

She heaved a big sigh, watching as Flip joined her. His arm pressed against hers, neither of them adjusting their positions to move away. He said nothing, knowing she would speak when she was ready. They sat in silence for a few minutes, staring across at the silly pictures the kids had drawn.

“I’m sorry you had to deal with that, Flip,” (Y/N) finally said, shaking her head sadly. Flip stared down at her a moment, raising his brow.

“There is nothing for you to be apologizing for, darling.”

“I-I know, I suppose I just...” She trailed off, glancing away. When she didn’t look like she would finish her thought, he decided to joke and change the subject, though he filed her reaction away in the part of his mind he reserved for her failings at caring for herself. It ultimately served to provide him with excuses to care for her in his own ways, as a friend would.

A friend, only.

“You want me to go in there and rough him up a bit?” Flip wished he was fully kidding, but part of him would have been happy to go and knock the asshole around if she’d asked him to.

Instead, she laughed at his words, an arguably much better result. He smiled at the melody of her voice “Flip, thanks for shutting him up.” She glanced up at him from beneath her lashes, an almost coy expression appearing.

Giving no real thought behind the action, simply following his instincts, Flip reached out and gently tucked some loose strands of (y/h/c) hair behind her ear. His hand lingered there a moment, before dropping abruptly, “Of course.” His voice came out in a rumble, “No one will ever speak to you like that around me, darling.”

She had watched him with her wide, beautiful eyes as he’d spoken, barely moving when he’d touched her hair. She was regarding him now with affection; he could see it clearly.

“My best friend, the protector.” She teased, breaking the frisson that had built between them, much to his relief.

Flip smirked down at her, though his heart was beating tirelessly in his chest and his mind was reeling. She patted his leg before standing, thanking him again. He watched her walk back to the reception desk, his expression unreadable. While he was fairly sure he could return to his desk, Flip decided to go outside for another smoke. chastising himself for the direction his thoughts had moved; from the intensity of his anger to the guilt of imagining filthy scenarios with his best friend.

When she had teased him, it was the first time the term had been used. And he found himself torn, feeling both touched at the sentiment, yet disappointed at its platonic connotation.

Flip returned home that evening in an overwhelmed state of mind, after a quiet car ride with (Y/N). She had thanked him again before hurrying inside her home. He wanted to stop her, to ask about the look on her face earlier.

He wanted to ask her why the first word that came to mind to describe it was hungry.

Bristling, he sought release immediately, not bothering to undress beyond kicking off his boats and lowering his jeans to his thighs. He stood in his bedroom panting, one hand on his dresser to keep him steady, as he fisted his already hard length. He was desperate, sensitive from weeks of pent up sexual frustration he had pointedly ignored.

A guttural moan ripped from his chest as Flip finally allowed the thoughts of (Y/N) to the forefront of his mind; thoughts of her glowing skin, soft to his touch, her body quivering as he explored head to toe, kissing every inch. His hand moved quickly, the tension building within him swiftly. It only took a few more pumps as he imagined his name on her lips in ecstasy, pleading for him not to stop...

With a cry, he came-the wave of pleasure pulsing through his body as his cum spurted, coating his hand and dripping to the floor. "Fuck!" His head tilted back.

His legs trembled, perspiration coating his skin; he crashed from his high and quickly sat on the edge of his bed, gasping for air. After only a few moments of relief, the guilt seeped back into the front of Flip’s mind.

He sighed, “Flip, you’re a piece of garbage.” He muttered to himself, eyes closing in disgust. He fell back, now laying on his bed, chewing his lip as he considered everything that had happened. His mind was now much clearer.

And there was simply no denying, the expression on (Y/N)'s face had not been of fear or concern. It had been of arousal. Flip wasn't sure of how he would react if he ever saw that look cross her face again, and so he fretted at the best way to move forward.

Would telling her how he felt, and risking their friendship, be the right move? Or was Flip too selfish, too cowardly, to admit his feelings?

Flip didn't sleep a wink.

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