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taleasnewastime · 1 year

Text

Starting again

Summary: Two years out of studying to have a baby, only your first few weeks back and it’s already not going as easily as you thought. A babysitter you can barely afford dropping out last minute, you have to take your little girl into the lecture with you. What follows isn’t smooth, but it’s the start of you getting closer to your professor, a man you’ve always admired from your seat, but you learn to get to know up close.

Pairing: Hoseok x reader

Genre: Adult student/Professor, single parent, fluff.

Word count: 11k

Warnings: Though this is a student/professor dynamic there isn’t an age gap and nothing happens when they’re in this different power dynamic, talk of sickness, idk I don’t think there’s much in this.

Authors Note: Another single parent fic. Two members down, five to go ...

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I only just found out myself, and you know I’ve dreamed of this. I really wish I didn’t have to –”

“It’s fine Billie,” you cut the rambling girl off with a sigh.

“I really would take Daisy if I could, you know I love looking after her, it’s just –”

“I get it Billie,” you cut her off again, annoyance seeping into your tone. She’s explained long enough, and you really don’t need to hear any more. Before she can speak again you keep going. “Thanks for the call to let me know and enjoy the concert.”

You hang up halfway through her goodbye. A deep sigh leaves you as you try not to slam your phone down on the kitchen counter.

Maybe you’d been too rash hanging up on Billie, but god has she thrown you in the shit. She was supposed to be here in ten minutes to look after your nine-month-old Daisy. Not that she was the most amazing babysitter ever but was a teen and cheap and was usually someone you could rely on.

Just not today it seems.

It’s still only the start of term, the first one back after having a year off to have unexpected Daisy, your final year before you graduate. It’s trial and error. You knew there would be bumps in the road to this, you’d just hoped they wouldn’t have come this early in the year and certainly not so soon to when you’re supposed to be leaving the house.

You’re supposed to be in the car in ten, no, nine minutes. Billie is supposed to be here now.

Mentally you go through your contact list. Your parents live hours away, your best friend in work, your sister on holiday. You could call up a sitting service but you don’t need to check your bank to know you can’t afford that. You can barely afford Billie, but that was a cut in your budget you’d managed to make. A neighbouring teen who’s taken a gap year, unsure what to do with her life and agreed to take on looking after your kid while you go to lectures. She could do with the cash, you needed the help, you thought it’d be the perfect match till now. There’s days Daisy goes to nursery, but with the bankrupting prices you limited those to the days you’re in work.

You’re down to seven minutes as your head flops onto the table. You take a second to compose yourself, to get your mind back in order.

There’s a small gurgling noise from your right, it’s enough to bring you back into the room, to make you lift your head from the table.

“Hey baby,” you whisper, mind slowly clearing as you look at your little girl. “Billie can’t make it.”

You look at your baby, all gummy smile and dimples, still has little hair even at nine months old. She makes another gurgling noise, slamming a clenched fist onto her highchair as if in response to your comments.

“I know,” you say, voice still chipper despite your feelings. “What we gonna do?”

You move towards her, put your arms out so your hands can reach under her arms. She’s heavy for how small she is, but she’s still utterly perfect. You bounce her on your hip as you look around the room, mind still trying to calculate what to do.

“You might get to have mummy home with you today,” you sigh.

You’ve yet to miss a lecture since you started university, before or since Daisy and though you know it’s not the end of the world to miss one, you pride yourself on managing everything. Your daughter, your job and university. Missing a lecture somehow feels like you’re failing somehow, like if you miss this one it’ll be a downward spiral. You know kids do it all the time, a lot probably only turning up to half their lectures and still getting first class degrees.

Daisy lets out another gurgle and then a small laugh.

“I know,” you coo. “How exciting is that? Mummy home on a Tuesday!”

A false happiness seeps into your tone, the last thing you need is Daisy picking up on how annoyed you are. Even so Daisy lets out what sounds like a less joyful murmur. You bounce her a little harder on your hip, eyes darting to the clock, you still have three minutes to work something out.

“Or you could come with me?” You whisper.

Daisy lets out another happy chortle and you look down at her.

“You like that idea, huh?”

Two more minutes. You need to make your decision now. It might be too late but the idea takes off and the urgency takes over you.

“Ok,” you mutter as you put Daisy back in her highchair. “We’re doing this.”

You have no idea if taking Daisy into your lecture is even allowed. But you know her, she’s an amazing baby, she’s unlikely to make a sound and if she does, well you can just take her out. It sounds fine in your head.

You rush around, the bag you had packed for yourself no longer enough. Now you need nappies, a dummy, milk, muslin cloths, toys, spare clothes, almost twice as much as what you’d take if it was just you. Funny how such a small thing can need so much. You don’t give yourself enough time to question the decision though, you don’t have enough time to question it.

By the time you’re out the door you’re minus three minutes. Pretty good all things considered.

Traffic is good. There’s a parking space close enough to the entrance so that even though you’re behind time you still have enough.

You unbuckle Daisy, take her under your arm while you shove your bag and Daisy’s bag under your other. It’s nothing you haven’t done before; you’ve become a juggler in your parenthood.

You make it all the way to the lecture theatre before you second guess your decision.

The room falls silent as you walk in. A rippling that goes across the room as eyes twist towards you. You stand frozen, staring back, door swinging closed behind you. A room full of nineteen to twenty-two-year-olds looking at you, if you hadn’t felt out of place because of your age before, you do now. You’re not even old but being a mature student even if by six or so years makes you stand out. Now with Daisy, you stand out even more.

Daisy moving in your arms gets you looking down at her. She hasn’t made a sound, is being as good as gold, just as you predicted, but you feel wrong with her in your arms. You shouldn’t feel like this, have never felt like this since having her. Guilt at how you’re feeling starts to seep in, as if Daisy might somehow pick up on how you felt.

“Alright,” a booming voice calls out followed by a loud clap that makes you jump. “Eyes on me please.”

You’re still stood by the door, still have Daisy in your arms, still have all your bags on your shoulder, still feel like you’re on fire. You don’t know what to do now, feel like you should turn and leave but the lectures started and you’ve made it here. Why should you leave? No one’s told you to go. Daisy is still behaving. You belong here as much as anyone else.

Swallowing the lump in your throat you raise your chin as you resettle Daisy on your hip and make your way through the lecture theatre.

Eyes still twist to watch you, whispered words don’t quite reach your ears, but you know are about you.

You settle in a row near the back where there’s a few spare seats together. The dulcet tones of Professor Jung follow you as you settle Daisy on your lap and try to reach around her to get your stuff out. You feel hot and bothered by the time you’re fully ready to take notes.

You’ve missed the first five minutes and with Daisy sat on your lap it’s hard to concentrate and write. It’s not exactly ideal. But you’re here and Daisy is quiet and you’re doing it.

You’re still aware of mutters coming from your right, you can’t make out what they’re saying but it’s distracting enough for you to look at the heads that keep shooting glances in your directions, seemingly undeterred by you looking at them. It’s like none of them have seen a baby before but you know it’s more because none of them have seen one in a lecture before.

You tune everyone out, focus instead on the professor at the front. Jung Hoseok. A man probably only a few years older than you. All teeth and smiles and yet it’s always when he goes into his serious monologues when your stomach curdles. He’s hot when he’s happy, which is seemingly all the time, but he’s even hotter when he turns serious. And the days when he chooses to wear all black, it’s hard to take in what he’s saying sometimes. You can understand why his lectures are always so popular and so hard to get on. He’s hot as well as intelligent, a deadly combination.

You’re trying to block the fact that you have brought your child to his lecture. It’s not like you’ve ever really interacted with the man, it’s still the start of term. You’ve only sat in his lecture admiring him from a far. But you wish today had been any other professor’s lecture. Wish it wasn’t him who wasn’t privy to your embarrassment walking in and struggles now writing.

The lecture is going well, Daisy doesn’t make a sound for over half of it. And maybe you grow complacent of that, or maybe Daisy just decides it’s all a little too long and a little too boring. Whatever it is, the noises start small to begin and then seemingly out of nowhere she lets out a loud wail.

Hoseok stops talking at the front, or maybe he keeps going, you’re not sure over the piercing screams.

“Daisy,” you whisper, bouncing your knee to try and sooth her. “Baby, please.”

Your eyes dart around the aisle in front of you, heads are all turned in your direction. You shoot them apologetic eyes, though you’re sure they probably look more manic than anything. This is your worst fear come true. No one seems to care that you’re dying inside, lips moving with words that don’t reach you but are clearly about you.

Not now, not now, you plead in your head, outwardly shushing your child, running a soothing hand down her back. You’re trying to reach for her dummy or maybe a toy to keep her occupied, all while trying to keep your leg bouncing a steady rhythm.

The volume increases in the room, a buzz that increases louder and louder the longer Daisy cries. The lecture is well and truly over now, whatever Professor Jung was saying forgotten in favour of you. You’re ruining everyone’s education with your selfishness to think you could come with Daisy today.

You’re heating up. You should never have brought Daisy here, why did you think you could do everything. You’re not a superhero, not an amazing mum, not someone who can manage all the things you’re trying to juggle at once. You’re just a single mum, barely managing to raise a child let along hold a job and get an education.

Twisting to your side you hold Daisy close to you as you try and gather up as much of your stuff as you can. Focus mainly on Daisy’s stuff. If you can just get out, calm her down somewhere else, you can always come back for everything else later. Preferably when everyone else is gone.

Bag in hand, Daisy in your arms, you turn back to look at the room, ready to leap up and run. But what you’re met with makes your heart stop.

The professor is walking towards you.

Jung Hoseok is climbing the steps. His eyes firmly on you.

You can’t read his face. It looks flat, but not necessarily firm. Still, your escape route now unavailable, your panic only rises. The only thought going through your head being that Hoseok is going to shout and cuss you out in front of everyone. He’s going to humiliate you as if you aren’t already in that state. And a glance at the other people in the theatre shows just how excited they are at that prospect.

You’re still cooing and bouncing Daisy on your knee when Hoseok comes to stand on the step by you. You have to crane your neck back to look up at him, apologies on your lips.

“What’s her name?”

It takes a second for you to comprehend. They weren’t the words you were expecting to come out of his mouth. The next thought is, is he really about to learn your child’s name just so he can personally shout at her?

“Daisy,” you still mutter her name out.

“Daisy,” Hoseok says back, his tone deep yet soft. “May I, Y/N?”

You’re so stunned by the fact that he knows your name that you willingly hand your child over into his outstretched arms. Daisy has already calmed down a little, no longer screaming, more whimpering.

“It’s a big scary room isn’t it, Daisy?” He’s addressing your child, his voice soft and pitched higher. You feel like your jaw is hitting the ground. “But it’s alright. I know it all sounds boring, but we can get through it together.”

He twists to look at you. You take a second to compose yourself. Daisy’s bag is still clutched to your shoulder.

“She alright to come down with me? You might be able to write a little easier then.”

You can’t tell if it’s a dig or not. For one, he’s not saying it in a tone that suggests it’s anything but a kind gesture. For another, he looks completely at ease with Daisy sat on his hip, her chubby hands grasping at his collar, she looks happy now, no longer wailing. But having expected to be shouted at, you can’t help but feel like he’s silently judging you for bringing your child here.

Still, you nod and then watch as your child is carried away in the arms of a man you hardly know. It should be alarming but is strangely not.

It takes you too long to settle back into the lecture, Hoseok easily picking up from where he was, seemingly undeterred by the fact he has a child in his arms. A whole minute goes by before you even think to put down Daisy’s bag and then another before you pick your pen up. It’s distracting watching your professor holding your child. Especially when he starts one of those monologues, the one where his eyes go dark and passion seeps into his tone. You can’t concentrate on the words he’s saying, don’t take a single note.

You’re pretty sure the rest of the female population in this room feels the same as you. Though with it being your child in his arms, you’re sure they’re not feeling anywhere near as flustered as you are. Still, you can see people taking sneaky pictures, girls giggling behind hands, some of the boy also looking at him with eyes that resemble hearts, hardly anyone taking notes.

“And that’s all I have for you this week,” Hoseok rounds things up a whole hour after he began, beaming at the crowd as he bounces Daisy in his arms. “Reading for next week will be up online.”

Even though you rush, you’re slower than everyone as you pack up. All your bags and bits that have spilled over the floor. By the time you get down to Hoseok the room is nearly empty and you’re a sweaty, panting mess.

“I’m so sorry.”

“It’s ok,” Hoseok reassures, eyes going from you to Daisy who’s in his hands. “It was a pleasure, Miss Daisy.”

He pauses before handing her back to you, as if not quite ready to part with her.

“You ok with all that?” He says, eyes on all your bags and Daisy, that’s a more likely reason why he wasn’t keen to hand her over, probably worried for her safety.

“Yeah. It’s nothing I don’t do daily.”

He nods, pauses as he leans back onto the desk behind him, feet crossing at the ankle. “Was dad not able to look after her today?”

“What? Oh. No. Daisy doesn’t have a dad. Well, of course she does, he’s just no longer around.”

Hoseok frowns. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“He’s not dead,” you blurt, realising how he may have taken your words given his tone, but instantly flushing at the comment. “I mean he might be. He left before Daisy was born. I have no idea where he is or what he’s doing.”

Way too much information and Hoseok seems to agree if his small smile and clear amusement is anything to go by.

“Sorry,” you carry on before he can. “It was the babysitter who cancelled. Apparently, there’s a band in town she just couldn’t miss.”

He chuckles. “Music is everything. But her loss is our gain.”

“Right. Sorry again about bringing her.”

He cocks his head to the side but doesn’t say anything.

“And thanks for taking her off my hands. You really didn’t have to.”

“But I wanted to,” he replies easily. “Daisy is welcome in my class anytime, whether you have babysitting issues or not.”

“Right,” you flush again. “Thanks.”

There’s a second of silence. Not long and not awkward, that is until you make it awkward, realising the man is probably very busy and doesn’t need to be stood around talking to single mothers. Though Hoseok doesn’t imply anything of the sort, in fact, if anything, he stays leaning back in his spot, not rushing you out the room.

“Well, thanks again,” you say hiking Daisy up on your side. “And great lecture, as always.”

Did you really have to add the last bit? Definitely not. But before you have any time to flush or ramble on some more you twist and start heading for the door.

“I’ll see you next lecture, Y/N.”

Something deep inside you coils. You block it from your mind as you dash out the room, don’t even think to respond to the smiling man you leave behind.

Things go more smoothly after that disastrous day. Billie gets back on schedule and doesn’t attend anymore last-minute concerts. She’s apologetic about it, you easily forgive her and tell her the story of taking Daisy to your lecture, she finds it way too funny.

Hoseok goes back to being another one of your lecturers. You go back to being punctual, arriving before he does and being fully ready for when he starts. Though he seems to ignore you like before, you swear that first lecture back you see his eyes search for you and a look of disappointment crosses his face before a small smile slips onto his lips. But you’re too far away and his eyes move too quickly, a sweep across the room, for you to be sure about what you saw.

Life goes back to normal. Hectic normal.

What between looking after Daisy, university and work, you don’t have much time to think about anything else.

Weeks pass. University starts to ramp up, essays adding to your stress. You start to question why you decided to go back. Having Daisy was unexpected, you hadn’t planned her, had only been with her dad for a few months but when you found out you were pregnant it strangely felt right. The dad didn’t agree, when you refused to get an abortion, he left your life as if he was never there, as if he hadn’t been a part of creating the new life growing inside you. Funny how men can make that decision while women are stuck with the consequences.

You were upset, of course you were. You had to delay the final year of university you’d already started, you were pregnant and alone. You wanted to drop out completely, but your tutor talked you out of it, said you could take up to two years out and if you still felt the same you could still drop out then.

In hindsight you’re so glad they spoke you into it. Because although it’s hard and you have so much on your plate, this was the reason you decided to go to university so many years late, to make a better life for yourself. And now, with Daisy in your life, that only feels more important. You don’t need a university degree to achieve things in life, you can make a career for yourself, which is why you never went in the first place, that and because your grades were never good enough and were never passionate enough. But you’ve lived in the professional world long enough now to realise what those three letters can mean. The difference between a blank space after your name and BSc after your name in your sector is the difference between an entry level job and one with several zeros after the salary.

Still, even with all that motivation behind you, it’s fucking hard.

It’s why you’re stood knocking on Hoseok’s door during his office hours. You find it hard to ask for help but this essay is slowly killing you so you’re swallowing your pride.

Your heart is hammering, has been since you entered the building, palms sweating and mind scrambled. You know why, you haven’t interacted with him since he held your child during that one lecture weeks ago, have only sat watching him from afar. You’re not sure if you’re more nervous about him not remembering you or him remembering you.

“Come in,” a voice calls out from the already half opened door.

He doesn’t look up from what he’s reading as you push in. You’re met with the top of his head, can see the thick black strands swooping down into his eyes, can see his thick black lashes highlighted against his bronzed skin, can see the blue of his veins through his forearms with his white sleeves rolled up to his elbows and when he starts to sit up straighter you are met with the smooth skin of his chest, his collar bone poking out due to an illegal amount of top buttons being undone.

He seems to jerk upright when his eyes land on you. His back straight, his body stiff in comparison to his gentle, relaxed movements when he hadn’t realised it was you.

“Sorry,” you immediately apologise. “I didn’t mean to disturb you. I can come back another time if now’s not a good time? Or I can email you my questions?”

Your hand is already reaching out for the doors handle from where you’re still stood in the doorway, ready to retreat as soon as he tells you what form of communication is better for him.

He only shakes his head in response, seems to become more relaxed as a smile spreads across his face. He lifts a hand to indicate you should sit in the chair opposite him. “Sorry, you surprised me is all. Now’s good.”

You’re not sure what about your arrival surprised him. You knocked on his door and he obviously heard you as he shouted out before you came in. It’s not like you barged in unannounced. But you don’t question his comment as you make your way to the chair. You sit down before pulling your bag onto your lap and pulling out the notepad and pen you need with your questions and to make notes of whatever advice he gives.

His eyes are steady on you when you look up. You suck in a breath and try not to give away the affect he’s having on you just by looking at you. The fact you don’t speak must say volumes though.

“No Daisy today?”

You actually look to your empty arms as if to check his words, flush when you realise what you’ve done and then heat even further when you look back up to see the amused smile on his face.

“She’s with the babysitter,” you explain.

“Ah, the infamous babysitter. I must admit, I was a little sad to see you had decided to keep her on rather than bring Daisy to the lectures.”

You heat even further but keep your voice level when you reply. “I think she was a little distracting.”

His smile grows, those long, shiny, perfectly white teeth beaming at you. His eyes alight with something that tells you whatever he’s about to say isn’t going to be good for you.

“Yes, I did notice not many people were taking notes that lecture.”

You feel the need to apologise again, but bite back the words and remain silent instead. Now feeling awkward and still very hot in this too small room.

“Anyway, what can I help you with today Ms Y/N? I’m sure you didn’t come here to discuss your daughter, though I wouldn’t mind if you had.”

You swallow, try to ignore his continued comments about Daisy. He must realise what it’s doing to you, how your insides are turning to mush. He’s gaining too much pleasure from your flustered state, it’s the only explanation in your mind because in your limited experience men, especially ones that look like Hoseok, never want to talk about your child.

“It’s about the essay you set for the 14th,” you begin, look down at your notes to try and set your mind back on why you’re here. “I’m really struggling with how broad the question is.”

“Ok,” he smiles already seeming to slip into a more professional state. “Tell me what you’re thinking first. What areas have you considered writing about?”

You pause in thought before answering. And then, before you know it half an hour has slipped away from you.

Hoseok is good, he doesn’t give you any answers, instead he masterfully pulls knowledge from you. He gives you hints and asks you questions that open up thoughts you hadn’t considered and provides angles you hadn’t thought of. It’s comfortable to talk to him, you were worried that it would be awkward or that your nerves would dominate you and you’d hardly be able to talk. Hoseok never once judges you for any question you ask, he never seems to patronise you with his knowledge, in fact at times he looks a little impressed with some of your understanding on the topic.

Half an hour is all you get with the man before he smiles, slips back in his seat and announces he needs to end it there or he’ll be late for a lecture. You almost jump, hadn’t realised so much time had passed.

“Sorry for taking up so much of your time,” you apologise even though he doesn’t look annoyed, as you pack your stuff up.

“I enjoyed talking to you,” when you look at him he must read something in your face as he adds with a laugh, “really.”

“Well, thank you for your time and advice.”

You stand and Hoseok follows the action.

“That’s what office hours are for.”

You dip your head, wanting to say thank you again but feeling like you’ve already said it enough. He continues to follow you to the door so that when you get there he’s already reaching around and pulling it wide for you to exit. You stop and twist to look at him when you’re stood in the hall. Hoseok is leaning on the door looking back at you.

“I’ll see you in class.”

It feels like a lame thing to say but you’re immediately rewarded with a toothy smile.

“That I will. And remember, if you need any more help or advice my door is always open, or feel free to drop me an email,” you nod with a small thanks and as you begin to turn he adds one last thing. “Say hi to Daisy too.”

Daisy is sick. Not sick, sick, but she is restless and running a slight fever and in her eleven months of being on this earth it’s the worst you’ve seen her.

It’s also another day you have a lecture with Hoseok.

By this point you’ve interacted with the man enough to feel more comfortable around him. You’ve dropped into a few more of his office hours, emailed him out of hours with queries and if you ever turn up after him are even rewarded with a nod of the head or a hello in welcome. You’re not friends, your relationship still too professional for that but you are something.

It’s maybe why you pull open your emails to let him know you won’t be able to attend the lecture today. It probably wouldn’t have crossed your mind for any of your other classes. None of them are mandatory, you’re not given a mark based upon it like some other courses, as long as you hand in the essays and pass the exams you are all good. But something makes you want to email him to let him know.

Your email is short and to the point. Though you send it, your mind is still too focused on Daisy to give it too much of your consideration. It’s only when there’s ten minutes to go before the lecture starts and when Daisy is finally asleep on the blankets you’ve placed out for her that you check your emails.

You expect nothing, but there sits one unread email. Sender Professor Jung Hoseok. Time received three minutes after you’d sent yours.

Your heart leaps even though you know his job is predominantly emails and he was probably already looking at them when yours came in. It should mean nothing. But even the fact he replied to your simple email that just stated you weren’t going to attend his lecture feels like a lot.

To: Y/N

From: Jung Hoseok

Subject: Re: Todays lecture

Y/N,

Is Daisy ok? Don’t worry about the lecture today, just make sure to look after Daisy. I will forward you todays slides as well as some helpful notes I’ll be saying around them. I am happy to meet you for a coffee whenever is convenient to discuss the content if needed.

Don’t forget to look after yourself. And if there is anything I can help with, please let me know.

Kind regards,

Hoseok.

Should your heart be beating this fast because of an email? You don’t think it ever has before. And though it’s only six sentences it affects you a lot. Still, you reread it a few times before you lock your phone. You need time to digest that before leaping into a reply and say something stupid.

Your focus turns to Daisy instead. Watch her chest lightly rise and fall as she sleeps. Even though you took her temperature with a thermometer earlier you still reach out to lightly touch her forehead now. She feels a little hot but you feel way calmer now she’s settled. Your mum’s on her way with Calpol and moral support.

You reread the email twice more before you press reply. Again your message is as short and uncomplicated as you can make, yet it takes you nearly ten minutes to type out the words you’re fully happy with. He’s in a lecture won’t see your email until he’s done, so you try to focus on other tasks whilst you wait.

The smile on your face is all consuming when you open your emails and see that a reply is already waiting a minute after the lecture was due to finish.

To: Jung Hoseok

From: Y/N

Subject: Re: Todays lecture

Hi,

Thank you for your quick response and concern. Daisy is fine, just running a high temperature and has been struggling to sleep since last night. My mum is coming round to help me this afternoon so with her experience I feel better that Daisy will be fine. Sorry she couldn’t make it earlier so that I could attend the lecture but thank you for the offer of the slides, your notes and some help. If you have the free time I’d happily pay for your coffee in return for some of your knowledge. I promise I will read the slides and do some of my own research prior so as not to take up too much of your time. Tuesday afternoons and Wednesdays either between 9-10 or after 2 work best for me as I work other days. Please let me know if none of these times suit you though.

Thanks again,

Y/N

To: Y/N

From: Jung Hoseok

Subject: Re: Todays lecture

Y/N

I’m glad to hear Daisy is doing ok. Seriously don’t worry about missing the lecture. Let’s meet for coffee after our lecture next week. We can walk there together, and the coffee is on me.

Hoseok.

You linger when the lecture is wrapped up. Are deliberately slow as you pack your things away. There are still a few students in the room as you work your way down the stairs, but not many.

Hoseok is stood leaning over the desk, his eyes flicking between the papers that lie there and his phone.

Your heart pounds with each step. You want him to look up at you, want him to acknowledge you, wanted that to happen long ago but you haven’t spoken since last week and the few emails where you agreed to go for a coffee today. You’ve wanted to email since to double check that the plan was still on but held off. You’re regretting that decision with every step.

You shift your weight from foot to foot as you stand in front of the desk waiting for Hoseok to notice you. Finally you clear your throat and let out a small, squeaky “hi.”

His eyes flick up, his head still angled down and his flat expression does nothing to sooth your worries.

“Uh, I don’t know if you remember, if it’s not a good –”

“Sorry, the emails never stop,” his lips curl before he looks back down at his phone, taps a few more words before standing up properly and shoving his phone in his pocket. “You ready to go?”

“Yeah,” you say. “If you are.”

He looks tired. His eyes worn and smile looks more forced. You hadn’t noticed during the lecture, but now you’re up close you wonder how you didn’t notice, everything he does seems a dead giveaway.

“Honestly, I need the caffeine.”

You smile lightly at his attempt to joke but it feels a little too like the truth and you can’t help the worry that seeps in. Why is so tired? Is he ok? Even though they feel like simple questions, they feel too intimate to ask. He’s your professor, no matter how friendly you feel towards him, you have to remember that.

You make your way out of the lecture theatre. An inch behind each of Hoseok’s steps so you can follow where he goes.

“So where do you fancy?” He twists his head a little so he can look at you out of the corner of his eye as you make your way out of the building and on to campus. “I personally prefer Coffee One. Find I don’t bump into as many students there.”

“Coffee One is good,” you say lightly because honestly you have no idea if it is good or not. Coffee shops aren’t something you frequent any more, it’s a cost and time you can’t afford since having Daisy. You don’t even know where the coffee shop is, have to continue to try and follow Hoseok’s lead.

The further to the edge of campus you walk, the more you realise that he must be right. With the many coffee shops on campus, no student would travel this far for caffeine. But with the distance comes an awkwardness. You don’t know what to talk about to this man, it makes you realise that besides your conversation about your course, you know little about this man to make small talk. Still, you try.

“I found the bit of the lecture on Cola fascinating today.”

He twists to look at you more fully, shock on his face for a second before it morphs into pure amusement. He lets out a small chuckle as he focuses back in front of him. Ok, so you’re bad at small talk but at least you got him to smile.

“Thanks,” he says before smoothly moving the conversation on. “How is Daisy doing? Fully recovered from her illness?”

“Oh, yeah. It wasn’t much of an illness, more overprotective parent then anything, if you get me?”

“Yeah,” he agrees with a small smile.

You pause before you carry on, it’s something you’ve wondered since he first took Daisy off your hands but there was never a chance to ask, at least not one that felt appropriate .

“Do you have kids?”

“No,” he laughs again as if it’s a joke.

“Really? You seemed so natural with Daisy,” and are always asking about her like you’re a parent yourself and you get it, you add silently.

“I have a nephew but that’s as far as my parenting experience goes.”

“Do you want them?”

You can sense him looking at you out of the corner of your eye. “Yeah, I think I do.”

“You think you do?” You chuckle.

“I mean I’m not going to lie, it wasn’t something I ever used to think too much about. But I don’t know, recently I’ve been thinking it would be nice.”

Your stomach knots in that way it always does around him. There’s something about the things he says, or maybe it’s the way he says them.

“I hope your partners prepared then,” you laugh, though even to your own ears it sounds forced and flat.

Hoseok just smiles, indicates that you’ve arrived and as he holds open for you says, “well I’m single, so guess that’s one problem.”

“Right,” you mutter, barely audible for him to hear as you come to a stop just inside the door.

It’s not a big café, but it’s cute. All wooden with hints of black slate and steel. There are pops of colour in the few plants that linger around, but it’s pretty bare. It means that all eyes go to the register where covered cakes and pastries sit tempting you to eat and a massive shiny coffee machine waits. It has a cosy atmosphere with a small amount of buzz from the few occupied tables.

“Shall we sit in the corner?”

“Don’t you want to get a drink first?” You look at him.

“Ok, you grab the table, I’ll grab the coffees. What do you want?”

You pause, look over to the large board behind the tills. You feel awkward letting him buy you a drink, still feel like it should be you treating him.

“It’s my treat, remember?” He goads, reading the uncertainty. “Plus, you’re a starving student and I’m your professor, it’s only right.”

You pause for a second longer but finally give in and tell him your order. He looks far too happy as he heads for the till and you head to grab a table.

The perk at least comes in being able to openly ogle him. You don’t get long, but it’s enough time to take him in. He’s dressed down a bit today, maybe a result of how tired he is, he has a simple white top on, tucked into some smart black trousers and to complete the look he has some black framed glasses. You wonder if he’s wearing them for fashion and although he seems to take an interest in his style, you feel they’re more likely for his sight. You wonder if he wears contacts every day instead.

When he has your drinks and starts to turn your way, you look away. As the drink is placed in front of you, you say a small thanks as you wrap your hands around it.

You give it a second, but when no other topic of conversation comes up, you try to jump straight into the reason you’re hear. You already have your notebook out and open and with how tired Hoseok looks, you doubt he’ll want to linger long with you.

“I read the slides you sent me and went over all the reading. I think I get it all but wondered if you could talk about your slides on the reading from Rhodes et al., a little?”

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be rude, but can I just process some of this caffeine first?”

He’s smiling despite his words, and though he doesn’t say them in an annoyed tone you still flush. The fact he’s even here speaks volumes though. You wonder why he didn’t cancel if he feels so rotten.

“Oh, of course, sorry,” you stutter a little. “If you want to rearrange or cancel we can –”

“Honestly,” he cuts you off as if he hasn’t heard a word. “Having spoken to you and read your essays, I have no doubt you fully grasped everything you read.”

You flush, not just from the compliment but because he’s not far from the truth. Sure, there were things you didn’t fully get but you could have easily done your own research to grasp it, you didn’t necessarily need Hoseok to understand. But you also weren’t about to turn down having a coffee with him, free or not.

“Anyway, I don’t think I’ve known a student care so much about missing a lecture.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not exactly a twenty-year-old student, am I?”

He hums as he takes a sip of his drink, observing you over the rim. “What made you want to come to uni?”

The question throws you a little, even though you’ve had it asked multiple times in the past. Funny how someone attending at eighteen doesn’t have the same microscope placed on them, as if you should be in a different place in your life at your age.

“I just mean, you’re in your final year, right?” You nod your head at the question. “And you’re clearly very intelligent. But I just wondered why you wanted to get a degree and not, I don’t know …”

He drifts off and you smile, knowing exactly what he wanted to say.

“Focus on my child?”

Colour lights his cheeks and you don’t miss the way his fingers toy with his cup. “I wasn’t going to say that. I was going to say you could get an amazing job without having a degree.”

“Thanks,” you chuckle. “I actually spoke to the company I worked for about progression and they offered to help pay for my degree if I stay with them after.”

He raises his eyebrows, impressed.

“I guess it’s been good and bad. Not that Daisy is bad but meeting her dad and him leaving me pregnant hasn’t been a highlight of university.”

He looks like he’s about to spit his drink out his eyes have gone wide, his face now a completely different colour. You realise you may have been a little too candid with that comment and swiftly try and move on.

“Anyway, you must be pretty young for a professor?”

He smirks as if he knows your game and you heat. You hadn’t meant it like that. Sure, you think he’s hot but you honestly weren’t trying to hit on your professor. You would never. You could never.

“I was the youngest professor at the university at one stage,” your eyes go wide at the knowledge, though you shouldn’t be surprised at the accolade. “Turns out they just keep getting younger and younger and now I no longer hold the record.”

“Ah,” you smile. “Just a couple of oldies aren’t we.”

He chuckles, toys with the drink in front of him.

“And I mean you’re a mum,” he looks up at you, the joking completely seeping out of his tone now. “That’s a lot.”

“Yeah,” you laugh lightly. “Though I would never swap Daisy for the world.”

“Of course,” Hoseok is quick to chip in, as if he too would never dream of saying the opposite.

“But I can’t deny I didn’t always think that,” Hoseok cocks his head to the side, a silent question to explain. “I was at uni when I found out. I was already doing my degree later in life than most and then a baby from a relationship that was still pretty new wasn’t exactly my plan. As if I didn’t already have enough to feel left out about with being the oldie in class, now I was the pregnant one too. It was a tough time for a lot of reasons.”

“And yet you still passed your assignments with flying colours.”

Your eyes shoot to him. “You looked at my marks?”

He shrugs as if it’s no big deal, but his eyes avoid you and there’s a small smile on his lips. “You’re one of my students. I always take a keen interest in all my students results.”

You hum, “not sure all my professors would say the same.”

“Well,” he says, not adding anything else on as he takes a sip of his drink. This time it’s you that beams at him.

“It must be a stressful job,” you say, trying to think of a way of coaxing out how tired he looks, trying to check in on him without being so plain. “Marking, running lectures while also trying to do your own research.”

“I think I’m supposed to say I love it so it’s no hardship here,” you watch as he runs a hand through his hair, messing the strands.

“You don’t?”

“It’s just a lot of pressure at the moment,” there’s a pause and when you don’t fill the gap, he does. “I’m trying for some new funding on a project. It means I have to try and impress some people and prove why my research will be worth the investment.”

“I can’t imagine that being a problem for you.”

You hadn’t realised how that might sound until Hoseok raises and eyebrow at you. You’d genuinely meant it, he was approachable, kind with his time knowledge but also so passionate about what he does. You can’t imagine anyone not being impressed with him.

“It’s just a lot of hoops to jump through,” he confesses.

“Well,” you start more conscious of your words now, but still wanting to let him know your feelings. “I know you’ll do it. But make sure to take some time for yourself too.”

His smile is soft, one you’ve not seen before. It lights his eyes up, and though it’s not as big as smiles you’ve seen from him before, it affects you more than any other he’s sent your way.

“Thanks Y/N,” he says, his voice just as gentle. “I’ll definitely try, though it’s a busy time of year, guest lectures and the department trying to plan for the end of the year.”

You nod as if understanding, though really you can only half relate. You have no idea what sort of pressures a professor is put under. Though you can relate to feeling like you have a hundred things to do at once.

“Actually,” his face lights up with an idea. “You should come.”

You pause, waiting for him to explain. “Where?”

“The guest lecture.”

It still doesn’t explain anything. If anything it only causes more questions.

“… is coming and doing a lecture for post-grads. It’s expected that lecturers turn up too, but I think you should come along.”

“But I’m not a post-grad.”

“It’s on a topic we covered the other week in class,” he carries on as if you’re following.

“But, uh, I’m not a lecturer,” you add.

He smiles. “You’d be my guest.”

Your heart stops then stutters back to life. Hoseok still looks oblivious to how you feel. Well, there’s a small smile on his face that makes it look like he’s amused by your reaction. But his words imply he hasn’t taken in a single point you’ve made.

“I think it might help your understanding,” because of course that’s the reason he’d think you should go, not whatever reason your heart flipped for. “Not that you need the help.”

“Ah,” you flush, brushing off his comment. “I’m not so sure.”

“So you’ll come?” He looks hopeful and you have to stop your heart getting it’s hopes up. It’s only because you’re his student and he wants you to well. “It’s on a Tuesday over lunch time so you can’t use the excuse that you have work.”

You chuckle along with him, though the noise is empty and hollow. He remembers your email well enough to know which days you work? It shouldn’t be a big deal, but honestly you’ve not met many men who would remember something that small.

“Uh, yeah,” you say and watch as his smile broadens. “I’ll have a think and let you know.”

“Amazing,” he says as if you’ve just agreed to going. In a way you know you have. Whatever Hoseok is to you, you like him so much you’d happily go to a lecture if it meant you could spend some more time with him.

Jesus, what’s happening to you?

If you felt out of place in your lectures, it’s nothing in comparison to this.

The room is full of people milling around, a gentle hum of conversation filling the air. You felt your hands go clammy as soon as you walked in. A quick glance at the unknown faces was enough for you to bolt to the corner of the room.

It feels safer here somehow, though you really need to get a drink or something because at the moment you’re clutching your bag as if worried someone is about to rip it off you. Not the best look at an academic gathering.

You almost didn’t come. You’d turned up for the lecture before but when there was the announcement about heading here for refreshments, you nearly chickened out. Now you wish you had.

You know no one here, don’t even recognise anyone enough to try and strike up a conversation. You’re terrified someone will spot you and ask what you’re doing here before escorting you out. You feel way over your head.

Another glance around the room confirms what you already know. Hoseok invited you and yet he’s not even attended himself. Maybe you got the wrong impression that he was inviting you to go with him. Maybe he genuinely meant he thought you’d benefit from the lecture and networking. He didn’t mean he was going to come too.

You’re an idiot, truly.

The lecture was interesting, you guess. It had a relevance to one of your modules, but from what you could tell you were one of the only undergrads in there. Why Hoseok said you should attend, you’re not entirely sure.

You’re just debating whether to go and grab a drink or some food to make yourself look less awkward when someone approaches.

“You look new,” you look over at the man who’s carrying a full plate, not letting the fact of eating stopping him from talking. “What are you studying?”

“Ah,” you look around the room as if for an escape. The man’s still smiling when your focus is back on him. “Well, I’m an undergraduate.”

His head cocks to the side. “You’re not a PhD student then?”

“Professor Jung invited me along?” You look around the room in search of the man again but he’s nowhere to be seen.

“Ah, you’re in his third-year class?”

You look back at him, a frown on your face while his is lit with more recognition. He bites slowly down on a breadstick, amusement dancing across his face as if he knows something you don’t. The look only makes you stiffen.

“Yes?”

“So you got to witness baby-gate?”

“Baby-gate?” Your throat dries, knowing what he means but not understanding the implications.

“When he held that baby for a lecture. I’ve got to say, it’s already become a legendary story in the department. And annoyingly it’s only increased Hoseok’s standing.”

He doesn’t look anything but annoyed, in fact he’s still smiling widely at you. You just feel a little dread, you hadn’t really thought much about the fact that what happened would have left your lecture theatre. But of course it was going to get out to his department. Though the mans not implying it’s done anything to affect Hoseoks career, if anything he’s implying the opposite, it still fills you with a little dread.

“Yeah, it was quite something,” you say, deciding to omit the fact that it was your baby he was holding.

“If he gets more funding for his projects or better students because of it, I’m going to be fuming.”

He says it lightly, but you still look at him blankly. You’re not really sure how to respond to that. There’s a short pause before the man breaks it.

“You should get some food. Honestly, the only good thing about these events is the free shit.”

He leaves you with a theoretical shove in the direction of the food and a promise to catch up again later. You’re sure the latter won’t happen, but out of nerves follow the first.

You’re putting a few nibbles on your plate, shooting small smiles at anyone who looks in your direction, ones that say don’t talk to me. You’re still feeling pretty overwhelmed and like you shouldn’t be here when you spot him.

Hoseok has only just arrived, stood just inside the door he’s paused to look around the room, a vacant look on his face as he concentrates. Someone approaches him and starts speaking though it looks like Hoseok doesn’t take in a word of it, he’s still scanning the room. And then his eyes meet yours and his whole face transforms. Gone is the vacant look, his eyes light up, lips pull back a little. He hardly seems to say goodbye to the person before he starts moving.

Your heart thunders in your chest as he moves across the room towards you. It’s as if he only has eyes for you, because though you notice some of the attention in the room shift towards him, Hoseok doesn’t seem to care. A few people try to approach him but he just brushes them off. His eyes are on you the entire time and the closer he gets the more your heart struggles.

You focus back on the food, are picking up a second pizza pinwheel when you feel his presence next to you.

“The free food is the best bit about these things.”

“So I’ve heard,” you mutter.

You look at him and are nearly knocked over by the look he’s shooting you. He looks lit up from within, positively glowing, his smile so wide you worry his jaw might start aching.

You can’t quite comprehend why he’s looking at you like that. Don’t get why he walked across the room and ignored all those surely important professors and PhD students who wanted to talk to him in favour of you. It makes you nervous that he thinks you’re something you’re not. But it also makes something else bubble inside you.

Glancing down at your plate he looks satisfied that you have some food. He picks up his own plate and starts piling on the food.

“Have you tried the mini quiches? They’re always my favourite.”

When you shake your head a little, he doesn’t even question it, just reaches out and places one on your plate.

“If you don’t like it, I’ll steal it later.”

Well, that’s a little assuring, the fact he’s implying he’s going to stick with you now he’s arrived. Though that same thought is also completely terrifying. Because although he’s avoided everyone in the room but you so far, surely he’s going to go and network after this.

“Have you spoken to anyone yet?” He looks at you, plate now full you watch as he pops an olive into his mouth.

“Uh,” you struggle to drag your eyes away from his mouth, but force yourself to. “I didn’t catch his name …” you spot him across the room and point, “but I spoke to him.”

Hoseok’s eyes follow your finger. “Ah, Rav or I guess Professor Peryie. You can ignore everything he said.”

“Oh really?” You look at him to see his brightness has dropped, you worry they don’t get on until you pick up on his slightly coloured cheeks and wonder if it’s something else. “Well, he was implying you’re not going to struggle getting any female PhD students joining your team.”

When he whips his head to look at you, shock written over every feature you only laugh. It’s the first time you’ve felt fully relaxed this whole afternoon. And when you focus back on Hoseok you see the easy smile is back on his face too.

“Come on,” he rolls his eyes. “Let me introduce you to some people.”

It’s funny how something you once thought of as nerve wracking or out of the ordinary can become something so normal. But that’s what being with Hoseok becomes to you.

It’s not like you socialise outside of office hours together, well, unless you count the coffee breaks and strolls around campus. Your predominately study, well, again, you study and Hoseok just works. It’s because you want to do well, you use as an excuse whenever you overthink the whole thing. And Hoseok, being your professor with all the knowledge he holds, it’s easier to just sit together.

But none of that explains the talks you have not about your course. The hours of questions he has about Daisy and the small smiles that flutter to his lips whenever you tell him a piece of new information. It doesn’t explain the feelings that still flutters in your chest whenever you first step into his presence. Doesn’t explain all the hours you long for him when you’re not at university.

Studying gets hard though. Exams approach and your life outside of university continues. You manage to take some days of annual leave from work, feel guilty when you still drop Daisy off at nursery, but you use the hours to study. It’s your final year if you don’t pass these exams –

It’s not worth thinking about.

If Hoseok picks up on your stress, he doesn’t comment. At least not verbally. But he does bring you things, crisps and sweets and fizzy drinks as well as fruit and energy bars. He learns what you like, what you don’t as quickly pick up and what you love. He doesn’t ask, and you never say, but he still manages to pick up on your subtleties enough to bring you what you’re always craving.

“So come on,” Hoseok beams, almost dancing as if excited. “How you feeling?”

“Like I could be sick.”

He laughs like it’s a joke, but you’re not smiling. “Come on. You’ve done so much work you’ll breeze this.”

“It’s alright for you, you’re not having to take the exam.”

“I did once,” he says. “Well, not this exact one but you know.”

“And I bet you were shitting bricks too.”

He lifts an eyebrow and chuckles, answering your question. “And that’s why I know you’ll pass. Because you’ve worked hard for this, and yet I hardly worked and still passed.”

You hum. “That’s because you’re smart. These things come naturally to you.”

“Funny,” he says. “I’d have said the same thing about you.”

You flush, something Hoseok manages to do a lot. It’s just the things he says and the way he says them, as if they’re exactly what he thinks. He says it so plainly and unembarrassed.

“Well, uh, I better get going. I don’t want to be late.”

He smiles as you linger and as you take a step away from him, he reaches out to grab your wrist. It’s gentle, a grip you could easily pull from, but you stay. Eyes go from his hand holding your wrist, up his arm until you meet his eyes already looking at you.

“You’ve honestly got this,” he says, voice almost whispered.

You can only nod your head. Throat thick, heart hammering and now not because of nerves at the thought of your exam.

With a squeeze of your wrist and a soft smile Hoseok lets you go with a quick ‘good luck.’

At least he managed to distract you from the exam. The whole walk to the exam room you struggle to focus on recalling your notes and can only think of Hoseoks fingers on your skin.

You pass. Not quite flying colours, but you do pass comfortably. As Hoseok predicted you had nothing to worry about.

Time is back on your side. No longer having to attend classes, study or do assignments you get more of your life back, can spend more time with Daisy. While it’s nice, more relaxing and you love spending the time with Daisy without the worry of having to catch up on things, there are still things you miss. The main one being Hoseok.

You no longer have any excuse to go to a coffee shop with him, can no longer go to his office on the pretence of asking him a question. You do still email him though. Firstly to thank him for all he did for you, the help and the copious amounts of caffeine. But the emails go well past that.

One email turn into chains. He asks about Daisy but he also asks after you.

You learn more about each other’s lives. Don’t see each other and yet somehow grow closer. Maybe it’s the distance that gets you to open up easier, or maybe it’s the fact you don’t have any official ties to him anymore. Your graduation is still a few weeks away but you no longer view yourself as his student anymore.

Still, it doesn’t mean anything happens. They’re just emails. You don’t see him in person. And as the weeks between exams and graduation pass you learn to accept that emails is all it’ll be. You have Daisy, that’s all you need.

“Congratulations.”

You twist, already knowing who it is before you see him.

It feels like it’s been ages since you last saw him and the sight of him takes your breath away.

Hoseok is all sharp black lines, crisp white shirt, thin black tie. His smile is just as wide and just as white. His eyes sparkling, the skin around them crinkling with joy. You don’t reply to his comment, mind a whirl of disconnected thoughts at the shock of how good he looks. A hint of wicked creeps into his smile as if he can read every thought. But then his eyes are dropping and his smile is all joy again.

“And hello again Miss Daisy.”

You look down at the mans focus, jump Daisy up so she sits better on your hip. Her eyes jump between the two of you, unsure. She’s older now, just over fourteen months old. She can walk on her own, or more wobble, every step looking as if she might topple. She’s said her first word though most noises are still gobbledygook. She must look so different to Hoseok.

“You don’t remember me?” He almost sounds offended, but his voice is sweet and his smile is still in place. “Even after I held you for so long in that class?”

She leans her head into your side, trying to cover her face while her wide eyes still try and take him in. Your smile is broad when you look back at Hoseok, his mirroring yours.

“She’s grown,” he says it gently, quietly as if not wanting Daisy to hear.

“That’s generally what babies do,” you tease, Hoseok’s eyes sparking with joy.

“And you’ve done it,” he says. “You must enjoy all the extra time you can spend with Daisy.”

“Yeah,” you say looking down at Daisy and then more sheepishly looking at Hoseok. “I just also kind of miss uni too.”

He looks surprised and you flush as if you’ve admitted an embarrassing secret. Which in a way you have. Because you may miss university, but it’s not the studying you miss.

“You miss university?” He mutters the words back to you.

“Uh, yeah.”

“Ah,” he scratches the back of his neck as you hoist Daisy to a more comfortable spot on your hip. “So, uh, what are your plans are now?”

You look around, can see your parents stood in the distance talking to some other parents from your course. “I was going to head out for a meal with my family.”

“Yeah, sorry, I mean now you’ve graduated. If you miss studying, do you plan on staying to do a PhD or anything?”

“What? No way.”

“Oh, ok,” he laughs, relief flowing off him though you’re not sure why. “It’s just, that’s good, because now you’re not my student I feel I can ask you on a date.”

“What?”

He laughs, his eyes dancing to Daisy. “I��m sorry, maybe this isn’t the best time.”

“It’s definitely questionable timing.”

“Well, maybe I’ll ask at a better time.”

“No,” you jump in, Hoseok’s eyes wide as he looks at you. “I mean yes,” his smile begins to curve as you stumble over your words. “I mean, I’d like it if you ask again. Maybe when I didn’t have my daughter on my hip.”

You’ve never seen him smile wider. His eyes once again going between you and Daisy before settling on you.

“Then I’ll ask you again,” he says. “Congratulations.”

You both beam at each other for a couple more seconds before you mum calls you in the background. Looking over your shoulder you see your parents waiting for you. Hoseok’s eyes are still on you, the smile on his lips when you look back at him.

“I guess I’ll see you soon?”

“Sounds like a date to me,” he smiles.

You nod, struggle to leave him, but you now you know this isn’t goodbye you can turn and walk over to your parents.

“Who was that?” You mum asks, not even trying to hide the fact she’s looking at Hoseok.

When you glance over your shoulder Hoseok is talking to someone else but his eyes keep glancing your way. You smile back at your mum, hesitating on saying he’s your professor, you guess he isn’t anyone.

“A friend,” you say instead, hoping one day he might be something else.

#hoseok fic #btswritingcafe #hoseok x you #j hope fic #hoseok one shot #hoseok fan fiction #hoseok fluff

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hyungieyoongi · 1 year

Text

Bad Things Come in Threes

Pairing: Hobi x Reader

Genre: Established Relationship + FLUFF

Word Count: 750+

A/N: requested by anon for my follower milestone celebration! I love nothing more than writing about sweet, sweet Hobi (especially since he is leaving soon and literally I will sob).

“What is that saying again? Bad things come in threes?” you asked your coworker, speaking in the direction of the beige carpet of your office floor. Your forehead was resting on your desk, eyes closed as you ignored your computer dinging continuously with email notifications.

“Yep, that’s the one,” your coworker responded, all too cheerily, typing away on her laptop on the couch in your office. “Maybe you could escape this hell and get home before the third one happens.”

You lifted your head to glare at her. She rolled her eyes at your expression.

“I’m serious, Y/N, go home. It’s late. All of this will be here in the morning waiting for you, anyway,” your coworker said, trying to sound comforting. You groaned.

“Fine, fine, you’re right, I should go. Besides, Hoseok probably thinks I died,” you joked, looking at your phone to see five unread texts from Hobi, likely asking when you would leave the office and threatening to come get you himself if you didn’t stop working for the day. “We’ll deal with all of this tomorrow.”

“Here, here!” your coworker cheered, shutting her laptop with a gleeful snap. You opened your phone to text your boyfriend.

DO NOT COME TO THE OFFICE. I’m on my way home right now. - Y/N

Are you lying? - Hobi 💜

Of course not.

Are you sure?

I am positive.

Good, I’ll see you soon, baby.

---

You walked into the door of your shared apartment with Hoseok, the sounds of relaxing music softly filling your ears as you shut the door behind you. You startled slightly as you unexpectedly felt hands removing your coat from your shoulders, relaxing when you heard your boyfriend laughing at your reaction.

“Sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Hobi murmured, placing your coat on the hooks by the door. He leaned in to place a gentle kiss on your forehead in apology. “I’m sorry you had such a hard day, my love.” You let yourself be wrapped in his arms, taking a deep breath as you felt the tension leave your shoulders for the first time in hours.

“I’m just happy to be home,” you mumbled, voice slightly muffled by Hobi’s oversized sweater.

“I have a surprise for you,” Hobi said, grabbing your hand to lead you through your home.

“You do?” you asked, confused, racking your brain for any hints that Hobi might have left throughout the day that you had failed to pick up on.

“Follow me.” As Hobi led you to your master bathroom, the music you had heard earlier got slightly louder and clearer. The lights were dimmed in the bathroom, candles lit throughout the room, casting a golden glow on the white tiles. The counter was lined with products—sheet masks, nail polish, moisturizers—everything you could want for a relaxing at-home spa night.

“I think you’d be more comfortable if you changed,” Hobi said behind you, chin propped on your shoulder, arms intertwined around your waist in a back hug. You noticed your robe was hanging next to his on the opposite door frame. They were his and her matching robes that Hobi had bought for the two of you on your last anniversary; ridiculously overpriced and designer, of course, but the soft fabric always felt like a warm hug at night.

“You didn’t have to do all of this, babe,” you said quietly, leaning back into his chest. Hobi kissed the side of your neck lightly.

“Yes, I did,” he whispered next to your ear.

You turned around, leaning forward to kiss him. “Thank you,” you murmured. You felt him smile against your lips, deepening the kiss before pulling away.

“Come on, we can paint each other’s nails and then do face masks,” he said, grabbing your robe off of the hanger and holding it for you to put on as you shrugged out of your work dress.

“Have I told you lately how much I love you?” you asked, tightening the belt on your robe as Hobi put his on so you would match.

“Hmm, I think you might have mentioned it once or twice,” Hobi teased, hands coming up to cup your cheeks. “And I’ll never get tired of hearing it.” He pecked your lips briefly, making you giggle.

“However, it is time to get down to business,” Hoseok joked, a mock serious expression on his face as he held up two bottles of nail polish from the counter, “pick a color.”

Maybe bad things didn’t actually come in threes when Hoseok was around.

---

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thatlongspringnight · 2 years

Text

Unspeakable Horrors (Ch. 3) : Cthoseok vs. The Expectations of Others

Pairing: Hoseok x Ragtime Songs

Genre: Comedic Horror, absurdist, whatever you’d call “welcome to nightvale”

Rated: T for teen, because of some horror themes, and descriptions of gore

Summary: Hobi chafes under the expectations the horrors of the deep...and you...have for him

Word Count: 712

Warning: Cthulhu, eldritch horrors, mentions of violence, and a musical number!

Previous Drabble: 1, 2

Tagging: @miscelunaaa @minttangerines @doneimnida @augustbutwinter @starlostjimin @xjoonchildx @hobivore @sunshinerainbowsbts @dntaewithluv @reliablemitten@wwilloww @illneverrecover @blueversaillesdreams @augustbutwinter @vyduan @kkulfm-2

🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙

You find yourself seething, staring at the empty containers of coffee littering your counters. If someone had told you you would have ended up babysitting an infernal being of darkness instead of taking your place as his high priestess, presiding over black masses and archaic rituals of doom…well…then maybe you would have used all the money you sunk into summoning him into doing something else.

Like buying a timeshare in the mountains…or maybe burning down the United States Supreme Court. Well – you suppose nothing is stopping you from the second one.

“Darling Puny Human~” Hoseok sing-songs, appearing out of a dark portal in your kitchen. “Shall we go out for another adventure? I have been looking at the information in the box of Google – and there is a place where I can grind my own coffee beans.”

And for some reason, this is the last straw.

“I committed several murders! Several! To summon you to this mortal plane, yet you don’t want to destroy it?” You slam your hands on the counter. “Why are you not unloading your fury upon the land? Master Hoseok, why do you forsake your cause?”

“That’s what everyone expects me to do, but no one has ever asked me what I wanted!” the man answers. The flair of emotions makes his tentacles puff, a splatter of black ink on the back wall. It drips like blood, and leaves behind indecipherable messages that will surely haunt your nightmares.

Great now you won’t be getting your deposit back.

“You – you do not WISH to unleash your righteous fury upon the land? To bring the four horsemen down to earth? To relish the destruction that you have earned??”

“No! Do you know how much work that is?” Hoseok whines. “And I have no desire for it; if I wanted to follow in the footsteps of my family, I would. What I want to do…well…I want to dance!”

“Dance?” you deadpan, clutching the countertops in fury. “You want to dance?”

“Dance!” And the room goes dark, a spotlight falling on him. In an instant you’re sitting in a crowded auditorium, surrounded by tentacled monsters and many eyed angels. All there to watch.

“Now you sound JUST like my mother.” It’s an accusation, even as one particular demon begins to play…is that a ragtime song?

“I want you to live to your fullest potential –”

“Potential?”

The light falls on him, and fuck, is he wearing a top hat?

“Do I have potential? Why can’t I have it all?” He IS in a top hat, and he has a little dancing cane…so do his tentacles, as he begins to tap dance, matching the tune of the piano. “Can’t I destroy humanity, and still have time for me?”

“Is – are you asking a real question? Or is this a part of the musical number?”

“I wanna dance

Wanna fill the wind in my hair

I wanna dance

Don’t you think it’s fair?

Eternal torment

Am I just some kind of a doormat

Why can’t you see

That I just wanna be free”

“You aren’t using the same rhyme scheme” He’s sweeping you up, tapping out his tune as he ballroom dances with you.

“Rending people limb from limb

Sure that’s exciting

So is drinking blood full to the brim

But dance makes my heart sing

Eating human flesh

Gives me indigestion.” He dips you – well, a tentacle does. Holding you still.

“But hitting the dance floor

Now that’s the one – I mean – right direction.”

“Seriously?”

“What can I say, I like Harry Styles.” And he’s spinning you away, a top hat half falling over your face, and a cane in your hands. You grit your teeth. Do you dare deny your master? Or –

“I get it, I get it – you wanna dance and not destroy the world,” you groan, but before you launch into an impromptu dance, you’re back in your kitchen. The cane that was in your hand now a wiggling eel. “Fuck –!”

“Good.” He grins brightly, snatching the eel from your grasp and – and somehow sliding it down his throat in one move. “I’m glad we had this chat Human, I feel we are on the same parchment.”

“It’s – it’s the same page.”

“Tomato, potato,” he shrugs, skipping off into the den.

🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙

As always, if you like it, drop me a heart or a reblog and don’t be afraid to come to my inbox i need more friends :3

#btshoneyhive #bts fic #bangtan fic #j hope fic #jhope fic #hobi fic #hobi drabble #hoseok fic #hoseok drabble #jhope drabble #fanfic

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ze-eternalmarsh · 1 month

Text

Name: Itch

Ship: Hopekook (Hoseok/Jungkook) - BTS

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Category: M/M

Wordcount: 4,883k

Type: One Shot

Tags: friends to lovers, slow burn, love confessions, coming out, first kiss, fluff (SO MUCH fluff), cute

Summary:

Hoseok has been feeling an itch every time he's with Jungkook but he doesn't know why.

Or Hoseok doesn't know how to express what he feels but Jungkook is here to understand.

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seokjinsonlyone · 5 months

Text

this how i think bts would be if they was your husband

namjoon:

you’d have your own rooftop garden together; like he’d get someone to get it setup architecturally the way he has it envisioned in his head and to give like advice on the types of plants that are good for this set up but y’all would do all the seeding and watering and weed pulling yourselves

evening walks together around sunset through the park or around the river hand in hand where you just soak up nature and talk about any and everything

you both like the idea of having a pet but know that you're too busy to keep one regularly so you end up getting fish; he gets a cute little 20 gallon tank and like five fish but he actually does a lot of research on which fish live the best together, which food and treats they like best, the best plants and knick knacks to put inside, how to clean it, etc.; all in all takes the whole situation way more seriously than you'd thought he would; it was supposed to be sumn light for the summer time but you'd think he's filming an episode of tanked for all the time and effort he pours into it

sits side by side with you rubbing circles into your lower back whenever you need to rant about something

loves it when you get desperate for him so sometimes around the time you're ovulating he teases you; will walk around the house in nothing but his briefs with his glasses on talking in his deep voice; will invade your space like if you're in the kitchen making food or something he's gonna come up behind you and wrap that strong arm around your middle kissing up on you asking meaningless questions about what you're doing until you finally snap and drag him to the bedroom

consistently opens every door for you and pulls out your chair at restaurants even if it's five, ten years down the line

the type to never know where anything is; it's not even that you switch things up a lot it's just that he never forgot the muscle memory of where things were when he lived alone; so he's constantly calling out to you asking where something is; half the time what he looking for be in very obvious locations but his mind is just so all over the place that he overlooks it

uses you as his sounding board when he has a situation he needs handled; will just sit there and think out loud to you for minutes and hours; you don't even be saying that much really like occasionally he'll ask what you think but he appreciates having a listening ear more than anything and you're happy to be there for him even if his incessant rambling makes you wanna strangle yourself sometimes

would learn to help you take out your box braids; it makes you nervous when he first offers to help because he can be a bit rough sometimes but he's oddly gentle and diligent with the task; once he's gotten good with that you convince him to wash your hair too; and take down/wash day is less dreadful because of it

you two become a package deal; like it could be a boys night or a girl's night and you're always gonna try to bring the other with and most of the time y'alls friends don't mind like you're one of the boys and he's one of the girls so it's fine; even if he like invites some friends over the house and you stay in the room to give them some space at some point he's gonna go and check up on you; you'll just be laying in bed on your laptop or phone, watching tv or something and he's gonna lay beside you and ask what you doing make sure you're okay next thing you know 30 minutes gon go by and you'll have to remind him that he has guests over; then he's gonna convince you to come out with him and stay tucked up under his arm until his friends leave or pass out

seokjin:

draws you a bath when he knows you’ve had a long day; it’d be really nice too; he'd light your favorite candle and set it on the counter; add a fragrant moisturizing bath bomb and sprinkle in some flower petals; once you settle in he'll put down one of them over the tub trays and hand you a glass of wine and your laptop so you can watch whatever you want or stream music while you’re in the tub

loves referring to you as 'his wife'; like y'all will be with a group of your friends that knew you from the get go and they'll ask him where he got his jacket from and he'll be like "oh my wife bought it for me" and they'll be like "🥴 boi we knew her long before she was ever worried about you just say her name" aksksksk

every couple months y’all will go on cooking dates with his celebrity chef friends and their wives; which is basically them in the kitchen being loud cooking a meal he specifically chose for you and you and the wife not too far away watching them while being wined and dined

not particularly handy but he feels like as a man there’s just certain things he should be able to do; so if your sink is leaking or there’s a problem with your car battery or something he’s gonna hop on youtube and figure out how to solve it first; calls an actual repairman to deal with it if he can’t fix it without being moderately inconvenienced

insists on getting a pool installed even tho you tell him you would barely use it bc you hate having to redo your hair more than you like to swim; you actually do end up using it all the time bc he orders one of those giant canopy floats and y'all just lay up there and take naps or talk; the whole outdoor area is actually bomb tbh like there's an entire sheltered outdoor kitchen and grill patio area with fans on the ceiling for when it gets hot and a fully loaded bar; y'all honestly spend more time outside during the summer than inside and get scolded for not entertaining people more often

if you reeeaaalllyyy want him to go shopping with you he will but he’d rather just give you his card and you gather up some of your girls and y’all can go nuts together

tries to butter you up when he knows he's in trouble but it's never with anything good like he'll stop at the convenience store on the way home and pick up some things to try to sway you; he get home and you're waiting for him slightly ticked off and he's like "i know you're mad but look at what i got you and it's a cosmic brownie, sour gummy worms (his favorite candy mind you), some wet wipes, and an arizona tea

official driver of the relationship; lets you be the passenger princess of your dreams like whenever you need to get from point a to point b he’s getting you there all you gotta do is sit down and look pretty (and play decent music while he’s driving)

even if you’re not a certified Gamer Girl™️ when there’s like a new mario game or something along those lines that doesn’t require a ton of skill and know how to play you’ll no life it together; like will straight up play for like 16 hours a day until you beat it; you still force him to eat and shower however but you’re not allowed to touch the controller until he returns bc he’d be afraid you’ll lose all your lives

the type to get super close with your family; like you look over one day and see yo mama calling him and you listen to him and they're literally just catching up???; he goes out on bros days with your dad and brothers; all your cousins follow him on instagram and be sending him memes; and you just sit there tryna figure out how he singlehandedly replaced you in your family bc they be treating him better than they treat you

yoongi:

after hearing you talk about wanting a detached claw foot jacuzzi tub for the 1000th time he decides to just go ahead and get your dream house built from the ground up; gives his input in every step of the process since he has so many opinions on architecture, furniture, finishes, and overall aesthetics; sometimes there’s little disagreements when your design styles clash but in the end he makes sure that you definitely get everything you’ve ever wanted included

warms your car up for you in the morning during winter months; unimportant but i just know he would go out in a sweatshirt and some slides like barefoot toes out in 20° weather shuffling out to make sure your car is nice and cozy and the frost is off the windshield

every now and again you’ll just be chilling at home and then he’ll be like “yah go get dressed we’re going out” and then he’ll genuinely take you on one of the best dates ever; it may not be over the top every time but somehow it’s always exactly what you needed; acts nonchalant about it when you’re gushing over how great of a time you’re having; “ah it’s nothing” but he’s secretly super self satisfied bc he knows he’s killing it

sometimes he’ll be sprawled out on the couch watching basketball and you’ll be tryna tell him something but he’s so engrossed that he won’t hear a word you say so you gotta throw a pillow at him to get his attention

untangles your necklaces for you; sweeps the hair from the back of your neck and clasps it together once he's got it free

likes leaning on your shoulder when you’re in bed on the computer; not really nosy about what it is that you’re doing whether it’s work or whatever but just likes to listen to the sound of your typing as his own personal asmr; also loves it when you get your nails done like will happily pay for a new set every other week because of the tippity tapping that accompanies everything you do

sets up a joint bank account for you two like immediately bc he doesn't have anything to hide and what's his is yours; but also sets you up a separate savings account that he funnels money into biweekly bc he wants you to be okay always even if one day it has to be without him

if you're both up late and you're feeling peckish he'll whip up a quick late night snack for y'all to munch on

never really comments when your hormones throw your body system out of wack; like if you randomly had night sweats for a couple days and sweat through your clothes and blanket he'd just nudge you awake so you can dry off and turn the ac on

is extra physically affectionate whenever you start getting irritated even if he’s the source of your irritation; will grab your hand and pull you into him planting kisses on top of your head and rubbing up and down your back until you’re sufficiently pacified

hoseok:

all his numeric passcodes are related to you; like it’s either your birthday or your anniversary, the day y’all met, first date, etc.

sometimes he likes to sit on the toilet when you're in the shower and talk to you; will periodically poke his head in to check your progress depending on how long you're in there; ooos and aahs and waggles his eyebrows every time he does so

some people think you’re some kind of dictator bc his response to every proposal he receives is “let me check with my wife first”; you’re not tho he just likes running things by you bc he’s only ever okay if y’all are on the same page; sometimes you really are his scapegoat if he doesn’t wanna do something tho and you’re fine with being his excuse! you love spending time with your man!!

y’all draw lots over who has to kill the bugs in the house; he tries his best to overcome his fear for you he really does but sometimes he look at the bug and the bug look at him and his heart can’t take it; generally tho there’s less fear of y’all conquer it together

at least once a month he books a couples spa day appointment for you two; deep tissue massages, facials, manicures, pedicures, the works like you just get absolutely spoiled; his motto is that if you feel good and look good then you can be good and be good to each other; unrelated but he get a kick out of eating the cucumbers that are supposed to help soothe around your eyes

you get so used to the sound effects he makes all the time that when he’s not around you have to have some kind of background sounds whether it’s music or white noise just something to fill the air.

you both like plushies, funko pops, action figures and all that so there's a dedicated toy room in your home; all the toys that you actually care about are placed higher up and in cases to keep in good condition but things that you don't mind having some use are accessible; the whole room is carpeted and there are some fluffy rugs too; there's a 65 inch tv on one wall and a computer area for gaming as well; the whole room is illuminated via led lights; needless to say all the kids you know love when y'all babysit them; they stay in that one room the entire time except when they want a snack bc there's no eating in the toy room; jungkook also loves to randomly come and hangout in the toy room by himself

wouldn't tolerate any kind of disrespect toward you; say you went out to a restaurant and the server was being rude to you, he'd clock it so fast he'd be talking to a manager having your server swapped out and dessert on the house before you even realized what they said

y'all try new hobbies together; it's never anything you have experience or are good at which makes it even more fun as you're doing it; like you'll get one of those woobles crochet kits and spend like a month trying to figure it out in your free time and make whatever little creature you bought

never actually stops dating you; will still have an active folder with activities and restaurants he wants the both of you to go to; even if you both lack the time and energy to actually go out on a date he's lighting a candle and pulling out the fine china for you it doesn't matter that you're wearing loungewear and sitting on the floor in front of the tv; he wants you to feel special always

jimin:

intimacy between you two go crazy; you’re as close as close can be like if there were such a thing as soulmates you two would be it; you’re consistently trapped within your own bubble and even if you’re out and about it’s still almost as if no one else existed; like say y’all went out to a club music is thumping people are everywhere it’s a generally Loud environment if you softly called his name from beside him he would turn to you immediately; or someone could brush past him and it’d be whatever but if you ghosted your hand up his arm he would get goosebumps; you’re just insanely in tuned to each other

would love if you had a softer build bc he likes the way you feel like heaven when he lays on you; also he just likes squeezing at your squishy bits; he finds it equal parts amusing and satisfying; like he'll squeeze at your boob when you're half asleep in bed just to annoy you; you'll be turned on your side and his arm will be slung across your waist and he'll just inch his hand up until he reaches your boob and squeezes; giggles evilly every time you smack his hand away and won't stop until you're whining and kicking at him to leave you alone and let you sleep

sometimes you’ll build a giant fort in the living room when he’s getting overwhelmed by life complete with fairy lights strung up overhead and pillows and more blankets covering the floor to make it extra comfy; you spend all day together in there playing games and talking nonsense and eating snacks and end the night cuddled up his arm wrapped around your shoulders, your head tucked into his neck watching movies until you’re sure his head is free from all his worries

loves to be fed, literally; like when dinner time comes he will make one big plate and pull up with a fork and a knife and a waiting attitude; if you don't play along immediately he's gonna put his hands over yours and make you feed him bites until you take over; likes to feed you as well; just always sharing his food with you and expects you to do the same

he gets obsessive when you don't answer his calls; like if he knows you're not busy and he calls you and you don't answer it drives him up a wall and he will spam you with texts and at least a dozen more calls until you pick up; not even because he has anything urgent to tell you he just always craves your attention; bonus: ends every conversation by saying i love you like you could be on the phone for 15 seconds just confirming something really quickly and he's gonna make sure he's told you he loves you before you click end call

doesn’t say anything when he finds you crying just pulls you into him and lets you get it all out; once you start calming down a bit he’ll pull back slightly, gently cupping your face in his hands and swipe away all your tears; only when he’s sure the tears have come to a complete stop does he softly ask “what’s going on?”

still gets shy and flustered around you; it doesn’t stop him from being himself around you whatsoever but it’s very obvious when you have the upper hand in a situation

you can't just tell him you need an item from the store bc half the time he'll go and come back with the wrong thing; you gotta send him a picture of it and that don't even work all the time; most of his solo ventures to the store at your request end in him facetimeing you bc he swears up and down they don't have what you asked for but then you end up finding it for him and you not even there

knows you admire his art skills so he leaves little doodles on post it notes around the house; is really proud when you display the ones you find really cute in your phone case

the type to put his life in your hands; when y'all go out to eat he tells you to order for him bc "you know what i like"; will let you dress him/style his hair however bc "you know what looks good on me"; he just literally trusts and defers to your judgement as much as possible

taehyung:

the type to tighten all the jars when you’re upset with him so you’re forced to ask him for help and talk to him anyway

would try to set up a really romantic dinner for you complete with rose petals and candles and champagne on ice but he'd be so focused on creating the right ambience that he forgets to order the food and one thing bout tae is he ain't a chef and even if he was he wouldn't have enough time before you showed up so you'd end up having a pb&j and cup noodles

sometimes if he has a lot of energy but you’re asleep he’ll poke at you until you’re awake and then he’ll ask if you’re asleep and when you say yes he’ll keep messing with you until he’s able to drag you out to play with him

knows how to tie a tie but claims it looks better when you tie it so whenever he wears a suit he gets you to finish off his look; really he just likes to be manhandled by you and the grip you have around his neck does something for him

if you get him riled up in the morning he just lives there all day; partially aware of what's going on around him but undoubtedly distracted, thinking about you, wanting you; hands and eyes are glued to the phone at all times hoping you'll message him or something even if it is just you teasing him some more; he's putty in your hands and he knows it but when the day is over and y'all are both home you're his

you have to come to major compromises when it comes to decorations; like you let him have his accent wall that he puts his paintings of his basquiat-esque faces but the weird cyber bug and person shark statues and the butt chair have to go

you do majority of the cooking so he takes dish duty very seriously; will swat you away if you try to help most times; however there’s a special place in his heart for the times you ignore him and help anyway by drying the dishes and it’s you him and some music playing and you’re singing and dancing around the kitchen together

there's a legitimate argument about your use of a body pillow; he genuinely gets offended bc is he not enough for you? why can't you just cuddle him? why would you go and put the great wall of china in between you two? what's with the distance? was he too much for you? like the situation blows completely out of proportion for no reason skslklsks the argument ends when you force him to cuddle it and he instantly understands the hype behind it; that doesn't curb his jealousy towards the object however and you're only allowed to use it when he's not in bed with you

a whiny baby when he's sick; you'd think he had tuberculosis in the 12th century instead of a common cold the way he be acting; a piece of tissue stuck in his nose, piled under three blankets, shivering every five minutes on cue; you give him a good day of dealing with the dramatics after that you leave him in the room with a bottle of dayquil and a packet of vitamin c until he decides to get on with his life like a normal human being

loves planning weekend getaways for the two of you; like every other month you guys are out of town for like 3-4 days in the spirit of “rekindling”; he always rents a really nice and cozy cabin type joint and most of the trips are spent just enjoying each others company and the scenery, walking around the town latched onto his arm and eating good food; you come back from each outing refreshed and more in love than you already were

jungkook:

every sunday he checks your car to make sure it has a full tank and if it doesn’t he fills it up for you

you two have separate rooms bc you both like to have space to just exist as an individual from time to time (also it’s really nice to have a place to storm away to when you’re in a fight) but you end up cuddled up next to each other every night anyway

has a very strict laundry schedule and routine; gets annoyed if you don't do it how he likes when he's unable to

watches you while you’re getting ready; he’ll be sitting at the edge of the bed while you walk around from your closet to the dressers circling the room trying to find something to wear; you’ll be having a conversation with him the whole time and after you walk past him for the 4th time his clinginess gets the best of him and he catches you by the waist before you can fully bypass him; he pulls you in between his legs and just hugs you to him for a few moments while you run your hands through his hair

follows you around the house with his mic serenading you like three times a week

comes behind you when you’re cooking or washing dishes or something and just pats at your butt for a while and by a while i mean he won’t stop until you elbow him and threaten to cut his hands off; he just laughs and gets one more grope in before backing off

traces the contours of your face and murmurs all kinds of cute and lovely and cheesy stuff about you when you’re both in bed and he thinks you’re sleep

if you made him a good meal you’d hear about it constantly for the next week; like every other sentence is a “seriously, it was so good” and he won’t stop until you make it again; sometimes he’ll try making it himself to see if he could do better but it always tastes best coming from you

an absolute menace in the grocery store; will spend the first 15-20 minutes behaving as he grabs whatever he needs personally and once that's done he's acting a fool; doing that thing that kids do when they use the cart as a skateboard like push off on it and then hop on to ride out the wave; grabbing all kinds of junk that neither of you need; touching everything even when he has no intention of buying it; you have to grab his ear and threaten him with celibacy to get him to calm down

whenever you’re sitting next to each other could be on the couch out at dinner in bed etc he likes to play with your hand and fiddle with your ring; will often slide it off and try to fit the ring on his fingers; then he’ll put it back on and kiss your fingertips for safekeeping

a/n: i worked on this for months and months and now it’s finally here lemme know what u thought 😩🙏

1K notes · View notes

xjoonchildx · 2 months

Text

kanalia | jhs x reader | final chapter: because i couldn't stay away

banner by the amazing @kth1 💕

⚜️summary: secrets and uncertainty plague a young queen in her arranged marriage to a kind but distant king. the farther she drifts from her husband, the closer she gets to one of his most trusted men.

⚜️pairing: queen!reader x royalguard!hoseok

⚜️rating: mature, 18+

⚜️genre: royal AU, historical AU, smut

⚜️warnings: infidelity (it’s complicated, y’all) mentions of pregnancy, fertility issues. OC struggles with depressive thoughts and episodes. smut warnings in effect.

⚜️word count: 10.2K

⚜️author's note: happy birthday month to my forever muse, jung hoseok. i hope that i did this poor, tortured version of you some justice. and yes, it did take me years to finish this story (😭) , but i did. thank you to every single who has ever taken an interest in this story and cared enough to stick with me through long delays and rough writing spells. once again, i have to shout out the OG @hobi-gif who lent her eyes to part of this story. i appreciate you all so much and if you enjoyed it, i would very much appreciate a reblog as well as your feedback.

thank you guys so, so much 💕

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Love doesn't discriminate Between the sinners and the saints It takes and it takes and it takes And we keep loving anyway We laugh and we cry and we break And we make our mistakes And if there's a reason I'm by her side When so many have tried Then I'm willing to wait for it I'm willing to wait for it

– “Wait for It”

Hamilton, An American Musical

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One perfect loop is followed by another. And another. And another.

You need not look back and check your work, not anymore. Now you know simply by the pull of the thread that each stitch you place is snug and uniform. You sit in your chair by the fire and repeat the motion over and over again, staring unseeing into the pattern in your lap.

“It’s a beautiful day, Your Grace.”

Hyeri’s voice taps at the edges of your consciousness, muffled as though she’s standing outside the chamber door instead of seated right beside you. You ignore it and push another loop through the fabric.

“Not a cloud in the sky,” she persists, gentle. “Perfect conditions for a walk, if you feel up to it. I could even accompany you, if you wish?”

There was a time, not long ago, when Hyeri’s prodding would have set your teeth on edge. But you do not have the energy to muster any such emotion. And so you give Hyeri the same answer you’d given her the day before. And the day before that one. The same hushed words, spoken in the same decisive tone.

“I’m content to stay in today, Hyeri. Thank you.”

“Very well, Your Grace.”

She drops the matter with a quiet sigh.

It’s unlike her. The Hyeri you know would fret and fuss for as long as it took for you to relent; until you had no choice but to quit your chamber simply to enjoy a moment’s peace. The Hyeri you know would be shooing you away from the fire, prattling on about how one errant thread could catch and send your entire dress up in flames.

But the Hyeri seated beside you does none of those things.

So you sink deeper into the plush chair perched in front of the hearth and watch the flames dance. The embers at the base of the fire glow deep red, putting off a heat blistering enough to scorch your bare feet.

But you cannot feel it. You cannot feel anything.

You’ve surrendered to the weariness now; let it consume you. Allowed it to fuse itself to the very marrow of your bones. For days you’ve done little beyond sleep and spend your few waking hours seated by the fire, needle in hand.

Twice you’ve left your chamber and neither time by choice, but rather because the King had insisted on your presence at dinner. To what end you still cannot be sure seeing as you’d taken both meals in stilted, awkward silence. Apparently His Grace is far less bold without a bit of ale in him.

“The hunting party leaves in three days' time,” Hyeri says. “There’s been quite a fuss in the kitchens over it. They’re taking enough supplies to travel for months, by the looks of it.”

You make a non-committal sound under your breath. Hyeri forges on, undeterred.

“There will be a send-off in the courtyard, of course. Will you – “ she pauses to choose her words carefully. “ – Well, I assume that you’ll want to see the King off.”

You do not want to see the King off. Were it not for his pigheaded adamance that you keep up appearances for the sake of this sham marriage, you’d be content to never see him again. But you’ll not tell Hyeri that. Not when she’s made it clear where her loyalties lie and not when she still holds on to the delusion that one day you’ll decide to embrace your role as the placeholder by the King’s side.

So you say nothing at all. The fire pops as one of the logs crumbles in the hearth.

Hyeri clears her throat. “Your Grace, I only want what’s best for you. Surely you know that by now? And I don’t want people casting aspersions, which they most certainly will do if you’re not there to see the King off. The staff is already asking questions about why you’ve not been seen in days.”

“Has he asked for me?”

Hyeri blinks. “The King?”

“Yes, Hyeri,” you say slowly. “The King. Has His Grace requested my presence at this send-off ceremony?”

The color seems to drain from her soft face as she admits, “No, Your Grace. He hasn’t.”

“Then I see no point in worrying yourself over the matter.”

You return your attention to your needlework and place another yellow thread in the center of your Mugunghwa flower’s pistil. The flames crackle in perfect, undisturbed silence.

⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️

“It’s cold out there today,” Hyeri says. “But if you bundle up tight, it’s quite pleasant in the sunshine.”

“Thank you, Hyeri,” you reply evenly. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

It’s a lie, and you both know it. You have no intention of leaving this chamber today and much to your relief, the King did not require your presence at his evening meal the night prior. Hyeri had ordered your dinner sent up and then proceeded to dine with you herself. An insidious voice inside your mind whispers she’s afraid to leave you alone.

You ignore it.

Instead you try to focus on your Mugunghwa flower. You study it, blinking until the riot of colors before you has clear, defined boundaries – fiery crimson at the center which slowly bleeds into a subdued pink which in turn dissipates into a milky white. You pull fresh white thread through your needle and set to work on the flower’s edges.

“Your needlework is much improved, Your Grace,” Hyeri notes. “You’ll be finished with that pattern by the end of the day, as I see it.”

You thumb over the fabric and consider her assessment. She’s right, you’ll be done with this pattern in a matter of hours. And the only thing that awaits on the other side is another pattern. And another. On and on and on.

“Perhaps when you’re done, you’ll consider mending this for me,” Hyeri says, gesturing towards her lap. “My eyesight is not what it used to be. I’m terrified of ruining the old man’s beautiful design.”

You set your embroidery down and turn to look at Hyeri, gaze falling to the opulent plum fabric in her hands. Slowly, the details sharpen into focus. The rich velvet trim. The gold threads glinting back at you in the firelight. The room begins to tilt.

“A footman found it in the woods last night,” Hyeri explains, her cadence slow and deliberate. “By the stables.”

You are keenly aware of the way she watches you in the weighty seconds that follow, one gray eyebrow lifted as she awaits a response. You do your best to appear calm despite the panic clawing its way up your throat.

You’d lost that shawl in your mad dash back to the castle. You’d been tearing through the dark, paying little heed to the branches that tugged at your dress and occasionally scraped at your hands and face. One of them had caught the shawl, but you’d been so desperate to reach the refuge of your chamber that you’d hardly noticed when it was wrenched away. You’d had, after all, your humiliation to keep you warm.

And you’d earned it, hadn’t you? With your drunkenness. With your recklessness. You’d let every one of your baser emotions take control. You’d risked every advantage of your carefully curated life just to throw yourself like a wanton at the feet of one of your husband’s closest confidantes. Like a fool.

When Lord Jung turned on his heels that night and abandoned you in the woods, he’d done far more than just rebuff your clumsy advances.

He’d finished you.

“Your Grace?” Hyeri’s curiosity is evident. “Are you alright?”

Hardly. Your mouth waters as your stomach threatens to cast up what little you’ve eaten today. One glimpse of that garment had been enough to bring a torrent of memories rushing back; vivid, awful memories that you’ve worked hard to banish to the deepest recesses of your mind. You grip the arm of your chair hard enough to make your knuckles go white.

“Your Grace?”

You don’t answer until you’re sure that you won’t retch the very moment you open your mouth. Hyeri studies you in the interminable silence, lips parted in an expression of concern. Your tongue is thick when you finally collect yourself enough to speak.

“Please do thank the footman for me, Hyeri. And I think it best to leave the more intricate needlework to you.”

Hyeri stares as you reach for your needle and thread with trembling hands, but you don’t dare look her way. You try to place a loop at the edge of your flower but the Mugunghwa’s colors have gone blurry again and you’re forced to back the needle out and start over.

Perhaps there was a time when the Mugunghwa was as vivid as a rose. With petals of rich orange-red, opaque from pistil to tip. But perhaps it was asked to weather too many storms. Too many droughts. Too many winters.

Perhaps the Mugunghwa looks the way it does today not because of how it was made, but rather what it’s had to endure.

⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️

The first snow of the season arrives early.

You stand at your window and watch it fall, noting how quickly the fields turn from green to white. You press your fingertips to the windowpane and the cold seeps through it, chilling you instantly.

In the courtyard below, the horses are draped in heavy blankets. Stablehands scurry around them; dusting snow off their muzzles and checking their shoes. Footmen work in teams, sharing the weight of the heavy trunks they load on to waiting carts.

“I’ll wear the blue walking dress today, Hyeri. The one with the white flowers on the bodice.”

“Your Grace?” Hyeri is on her feet at once to join you at the window. “You’ll see the king off, then?”

“I’ll need the matching cape too,” you direct, brushing her question aside as you watch the newly-packed trunks take on a layer of white snow. “If the conditions are as awful as they look.”

“Yes of course,” Hyeri breathes, hurriedly whirling about the chamber behind you as she gathers your things. In a matter of minutes she has you dressed and seated, fingers twisting your hair into a plait at the base of your neck. She loops the plait and pins it into an elegant bun, fingers smoothing the hairs into place before her hands come to rest on your shoulders. She squeezes them gently.

“I’ll not ask you why you’ve changed your mind, Your Grace,” she says softly. “But I’m so glad for it. It’s important that people see you. For them, of course, but for you most of all. And besides, you look so lovely.”

You don’t feel lovely. In fact, you don’t feel anything at all. And if Hyeri had pressed you as to why you’ve changed your mind, she’d not be satisfied with your answer. You’ve changed your mind because you cannot bear to cause more conflict with the King. Because you have no desire to create a scandal that you’ll somehow have to fix. You’ve changed your mind because you have no fight in you left. This is the path of least resistance.

You rise from your seat and Hyeri’s hands fall away. She clutches them to her chest, rheumy eyes soft with sadness as she watches you take your place at the window once again. Outside the snow falls harder, and you watch the footmen leave deep divots in it with their boots.

“Tell me when it’s time,” you say quietly.

⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️

You can scarcely recognize anyone in the throng of well-wishers gathered outside the castle.

They’re all bundled tight in winter coats and pelts; some wear hats and scarves. The snow doesn’t help either, and from the moment you enter the courtyard you’re grateful for your cape. Not only for the warmth of its thick lining, but for its hood, too. It affords you a bit of privacy in this otherwise very public affair.

You weave your way through the crowd and do your best not to make eye contact with anyone. Surely Boram is among those gathered with sweet Yeona in tow, here to see Lord Min off on his adventure. But you cannot bring yourself to seek her out – not when she’s already called on you twice without so much as an explanation for your disappearance. At any rate, you don’t think you could bear to look at her right now. To see the worry and concern you know you’ll find written all over her face.

So you keep your hood pulled tight and your eyes down as you set off in search of the King. And you have no trouble finding him despite your reticence to make your presence known. It’s not just that he stands a head taller than most. It’s in his stature, in his stance – in that self-assured air that seems to come naturally to those born with power. He catches sight of you as he’s speaking to a footman and pauses, gaze locking on yours.

Your legs feel heavy. Your boots sink into the snow as you approach, each step more tiring than the last. When you are finally standing before the King you bow, dipping your head as you peer at him from beneath your hood.

“Your Grace,” he murmurs, lips twitching into a cautious half-smile. “I wasn’t sure you’d come down to say goodbye.”

“And yet I have,” you respond evenly. A snowflake lands on one of his long eyelashes and you resist the urge to reach out and sweep it away. “So I do very much hope that you are pleased.”

“I am pleased.”

The King reaches for your gloved hand. He waits a heartbeat before bringing it to his mouth and pressing a kiss to your leather-clad fingers. Beneath your hood, your cheeks burn. You withdraw your hand quickly and let it fall to your side.

“Well. Then. I wish you a comfortable journey,” you say. “As well as a safe return.”

The two of you stand there for an awkward moment, the King’s expression expectant as though he’s waiting for you to say more. But you have no more to say. The words you’ve already offered him will do. They’re as empty as the vows you’d exchanged little more than a year ago.

“We ought to head out, Your Grace. We’re losing precious daylight and this weather will slow us as it is.”

The voice comes from somewhere in your periphery, but you need not see the man to know exactly who it is. Suddenly each breath you draw is painful, the frigid air pricking your lungs like a thousand tiny needles. You will yourself not to turn towards it, not to react in any way.

“You’re right.” The King acknowledges Lord Jung with a brusque nod. “Have the stablehands check over the horses one more time.”

You won’t look at him. You can’t look at him. Not when the sound of his voice reverberates through every wounded place inside of you. Not when you can close your eyes and still feel the hot trickle of embarrassment that slid down your spine that night in the woods. But then he leaves you with no other choice.

“Your Grace.”

The low timbre of Lord Jung’s greeting makes the fine hairs at the nape of your neck stand on end. You turn to him, slowly, and his dark eyes briefly connect with yours before he bends into a shallow bow. Your knees nearly give way when you return the gesture, along with a subdued, “My Lord.”

What must this man think of you now? What has he told the King? The nausea you’ve managed to stave off for days returns at once.

You startle when a gloved hand wraps around your forearm and the King beckons you to face him. You flick your eyes up to meet his and find that they – along with his countenance – have darkened. By now Lord Jung is yards away, tending to his horse as the hunting party readies to embark. Your lungs ache with each deep pull of cold air.

“Is something wrong?”

“No, no. Not at all,” you insist, contriving a weak laugh. “I’m not accustomed to this kind of cold, is all. I’ll need to go back inside to get warm.”

The King’s brows furrow as he studies you. But you maintain your mild expression until his face relaxes and the disquiet subsides. He leans in to place a chaste kiss to your cheek.

“Hyeri assures me you’ll be well taken care of in my absence.”

You lift the corners of your mouth in a gesture that you hope will pass for a smile.

“Thank you, Your Grace. Be well.”

⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️

Hyeri does not protest when you ask to undress upon your return to the chamber. Nor does she fuss when you climb into bed with the morning sun still high in the sky. She simply presses a soft kiss to your hair, draws the curtains tight and leaves you with a whispered rest well.

⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️

Your chamber is dark when you wake but for the soft glow of a fire.

As you come to, so does an ache in your temples, a quiet thud that pulses in time with your heartbeat. Your muscles protest as you roll onto your side to find Hyeri seated at the hearth.

She’s yet to realize that you’ve roused and so you lie there for a while, studying her. She has a strange, far-away look in her eyes as she stares into the flames, her grip tight on a book in her lap. After a few minutes she opens the book and begins to thumb through it and you watch, curious, as she pulls a worn piece of vellum from between its pages.

She unfolds the missive and reads over it, face crumpling as she fights back a sob.

“Hyeri?”

The older woman nearly jumps out of her skin when you call out to her. She hastily folds the vellum and slips it back into her book, smoothing down her dress as she stands at attention. “Your Grace,” she says, voice huskier than usual, “I hadn’t realized you were awake.”

“It’s alright,” you say absently, voice rough with sleep. You steal a look at the book left lying in Hyeri’s chair as she hurries over to bring you some water. Her countenance is that of someone who’s been caught doing something they shouldn’t have. You stare at the glass she offers you, watching the water slosh back and forth.

Is she trembling?

“You ought to eat something,” she admonishes gently, waving a hand towards the food waiting on the table nearby. “You slept through the evening meal. I had my mind made up to wake you if you’d gone much longer, but thankfully I didn’t have to. So come,” she beckons, “Eat something. It will do you some good.”

Your stomach twinges at the mention of food. It’s been in upheaval for days now, and as such it’s been far too long since you had a proper meal. But whatever awaits in the dishes nearby smells enticing enough, so you allow Hyeri to help you out of bed. Your muscles are stiff with disuse and you grimace as you make your way to the table. Your eagle-eyed handmaid takes note.

“A long, hot bath will do you some good, too,” Hyeri remarks as you spoon lukewarm bulgogi onto your plate. You eat slowly as she busies herself with lighting the torches and stripping the linens from your bed. “I’ll have the maids bring up the water after you’ve had a chance to eat.”

You’ve only managed a few bites of the bulgogi before there’s an army of maids filing into the chamber, flitting about the room like a swarm of bees. You watch the entire affair in a daze as the maids make quick work of the tasks set before them: tidying and sweeping the chamber, draping your bed in fresh linens, filling the tub with steaming hot water. And when all the commotion is finally done, Hyeri dismisses them with strict orders not to return unless they are sent for.

You are grateful at once for the silence that immediately falls over the chamber. Even Hyeri leaves you for a while, disappearing into the antechamber to prepare your toilette. But when you glance over at her chair, Hyeri’s book is gone. Along with whatever was written on the vellum inside.

“Come now, Your Grace,” Hyeri says, at last. “I’m ready for you.”

She leads you into the bathing chamber, where the air is humid and sweet. Then she helps you out of your rumpled nightgown and holds out her hand. You accept it, leaning into her as you step over the tub’s steep rim. Slowly you ease yourself down, sucking in a breath as the heat blazes a path up your feet to your legs and thighs. The water is hot almost to the point of pain but you withstand it, sinking until it laps at your shoulders.

“I used rose oil tonight,” Hyeri says, kneeling behind you and cupping your head in her hands. “I thought you could do with a bit of pampering.”

The delicate fragrance envelopes you, carried on the curls of steam that rise just above the water. You breathe in the soft, floral scent and close your eyes; try to clear your mind. Hyeri presses her thumbs to your temples and starts making firm, soothing circles.

“I remember the very first moment I saw you,” Hyeri muses softly. “I’d been so impressed by your poise.” Her hands move to the column of your neck and she kneads at the tight muscles there, pulling the tension from them with each pass. “You were little more than a girl then, but I could still see that you were lovely, inside and out.”

Were you? You’re not sure that you would even recognize the girl that stepped out of that carriage so long ago. You’d been so idealistic – so certain of the comfortable life that you would find here. Of the affluence and status and yes, perhaps, even love that you’d enjoy once you’d ascended to the throne. But that girl had been a nitwit. The woman you are now will never entertain such foolish notions again.

“I know that so much of this has not been easy for you,” Hyeri continues, setting to work on your shoulders. “I know that there have been days when you’ve struggled to put one foot in front of the other. But you have. And that means something.”

It does mean something. It means that your mother’s great work is finally complete. She’d spent her entire life molding you into the polished, empty creature you are today. If only she could see you now; see how biddable and pathetic you’ve become. It would fill her to overflowing with joy.

“Anyhow, when you’ve lived as long as I have you realize that nothing is forever,” Hyeri says thoughtfully. “Same as what you’re going through right now, Your Grace. It won’t be forever.”

Nonsense. Hyeri cannot change the King’s heart. She cannot save you from a lifetime of awkward exchanges and forced smiles simply because she believes things can change. And she cannot will a child into your womb simply by decreeing that it should be so. The swell of emotion that surges inside you is more powerful than anything you’ve felt in days. And it’s anger.

“Hyeri, stop,” you order tersely. “No more.”

Her face falls at that, features going slack with dismay. But she heeds you, holding back whatever she’d meant to say next. Then she reaches for the soap and begins to wash your hair in silence. You chase the beads of oil that float along the surface of the water with a fingertip, cheeks hot with embarrassment. You hadn’t meant to be ugly to Hyeri.

But then you’ve done many things of late that you hadn’t meant to.

“I’m sorry,” you murmur.

“It’s alright, Your Grace. I know you meant no harm by it.” Hyeri dries her hands off and then rises to her feet, looking down at you with a kindness you do not deserve. “I’ll leave you to soak for a bit. You can have a few minutes of peace before I return.”

You’ve been unfair to her, haven’t you? The realization cuts you deep as you watch her retreat from the antechamber. She’s served you in so many ways since your arrival here: as caretaker and as advisor and as confidante. And how have you thanked her? By being cold and distant. By unleashing all the frustration and resentment you feel towards the King on her. And what of the tears you’d seen her hold back while she’d been sitting by the fire? Have you been so mired in your own anguish that you’ve neglected to see hers?

The water has begun to cool and your skin has begun to pebble by the time Hyeri returns.

“Forgive me, Your Grace,” she says upon her return, helping you out of the water. “The time got away from me. You must be freezing.”

“Only a little,” you lie, teeth chattering. Hyeri sets to drying you, throwing the damp linens on the floor to catch the rivulets of water that fall from your hair. Her dark eyes dart from your shoulders to your neck to your ears, but they do not meet yours.

“Is something wrong, Hyeri?”

“No, no. Not at all,” she answers quickly, “Just a bit tired.” Her reassurance rings hollow because she keeps her eyes trained on the floor as she bends to reach for the rose oil. When she straightens, you catch her hand with yours, stilling her.

“What were you reading tonight?”

Hyeri’s mouth opens in surprise and then quickly closes.

“I saw you sitting by the fire,” you admit. “You were reading something that looked to upset you.”

“And here I thought you were sleeping,” Hyeri grumbles, taking her hand back. She pours the oil into one palm and then warms it before pressing it to your neck, letting a long moment pass before she speaks.

“It didn’t upset me,” she explains. “Not in a sad way. Those were happy tears, I suppose.” She pours oil into your hands and begins to gently massage it into your fingers. “It was a letter from my Sanghun, back when he’d been courting me so many years ago. You might find this hard to believe, but I wasn’t always the old woman you see now. I had more than my fair share of suitors.”

It’s not hard to believe. Time has been kind to Hyeri. Her features, though soft with age, are still striking. She must have been quite fetching as a young woman.

“What made you choose Sanghun?” you ask.

“I don’t know that I had a choice in the matter at all,” she laughs as she helps you slip into a nightgown. “The moment I saw Sanghun, no other man existed for me. It was him or no one.” Her eyes go soft with a faraway look as she recounts the memory. “The other girls thought him too practical, too serious. But I saw a side of him that no one else saw. A part of him that was just for me.”

“You must miss him,” you say gently.

“Every day,” Hyeri admits. “Ten years he’s been gone and I think of him every day. Those letters remind me of what it’s like to be young and so in love that you’ll not see rhyme or reason. But –” she trails off and waves a hand as if fending off fresh tears. “Never mind that. Come sit.”

It’s unclear which of you she’s sparing from the memory. But as Hyeri begins working her comb through the lengths of your hair, you’re struck by how shortsighted you’ve been. There is suffering in never having the chance to love and be loved, certainly. But there is a different kind of suffering that comes with having that kind of love and then losing it. The thought humbles you.

Hyeri comes to stand behind you and begins working your wet hair into a loose plait.

“I’m sorry, Hyeri,” you say softly, gaze dropping to your hands. “I’m sorry that I haven’t thought to ask you about Sanghun. I haven’t been myself and I’ve just – “

Hyeri silences you with a soft hush. She secures your braid with a piece of linen and then drops to her knees to look her in the eye. “You have nothing to be sorry for,” she says softly, stroking a hand down the side of your face. “Nor do you owe anyone an explanation for feeling the things you feel.”

Her warmth thaws the frozen places inside you. It causes tears to spring to your eyes. And when she takes your hand in hers, you squeeze it gently — hoping that the gesture can convey the feelings you can’t put into words.

“Now put all of that behind you,” she says, smiling through her own unshed tears. “And come sit with me for a while.”

Hyeri leads the way into the chamber and you follow, only to stop short when the hearth comes into view.

When your gaze falls on the silhouetted figure near the fire, you nearly scream. You try to scream. But fear seizes your body, inch by inch – rooting your feet to the floor and closing around your throat like a shackle. You have no choice but stand there, staring in horrified silence as the figure begins to emerge from the shadows. In the span of one frantic heartbeat, the figure has a shape. In the next, it has a face.

And in the next, it has a name.

“H-Hyeri?” you stammer, swaying on your feet as your legs threaten to give way. Your handmaid doesn’t answer and so you call out again, voice quivering. “Hyeri?”

You cannot take your eyes off the man standing before you. He doesn’t speak, doesn’t move, and so you stare as the firelight flickers over his stark, beautiful features. Shadows dance across his clenched jaw and knit brow. And his eyes – those dark eyes you know so well are fathomless, inscrutable – smoldering coal set in unblemished, unforgiving stone.

“Hyeri!“ you call out to her again, desperate – reluctantly tearing your gaze from the man to look for her. And when your eyes finally land on Hyeri, you find your handmaid standing near the chamber door, hands clasped together tightly. Streaks of color running up the thin skin of her neck and into her soft cheeks.

But she’s not surprised, is she? Not flummoxed in any way by finding Lord Jung lying in wait inside your private rooms. The realization comes over you slowly, wholly, until a strangle tingle runs from your scalp to the tips of your fingers. She’s arranged this, hasn’t she?

“W-What is this?” The words leave you as more air than sound, but they ring out clear enough in the silence of your chamber. Lord Jung and Hyeri exchange a long look, but neither utters a sound.

“Someone speak!” you cry, wincing at the hysteria in your voice.

Hyeri finally clears her throat, her face now fully aflame. “I believe the two of you – “ she pauses, swallowing hard. “Well, I believe the two of you have some things you need to discuss.”

Discuss? You and Lord Jung? Suddenly the panic you feel metastasizes, growing into something much darker. Has he come to admonish you, then? To punish you for your disloyalty? Has he come to lay bare every humiliating detail of that horrible night at the stables for Hyeri to hear?

“No,” you whisper. You do your best to appear composed, despite the way your knees tremble. “I’m afraid you’re mistaken, Hyeri. I have nothing to discuss with Lord Jung.”

“Yes, you do.” The man in question speaks for the first time, his voice little more than a low rasp. “And we will.”

“No,” you repeat your refusal, shaking your head as though the movement will help sort your jumbled thoughts. “No. You have no right to turn up here and say what I will and will not do. And where did you come from? I saw you leave. I saw you mount your horse and ride off with – “

You stop yourself before you can finish the thought, flushing fiercely at the unspoken mention of the King. Your tedious, disinterested husband would be anything but if he had any inkling of this clandestine encounter.

“I was called back to the castle,” Lord Jung explains evenly. “A palace rider came bearing a missive bidding that I return at once to address an issue at the stables. I was but an hour’s ride away at the time.” Once again, he looks to Hyeri and they exchange another one of those maddening looks.

“But there was no issue at the stables,” you deduce quietly, the pieces falling into place, one by one. “Was there, Hyeri?” Your handmaid seems to shrink beneath the weight of the accusation in your eyes.

“No, Your Grace,” she confesses weakly, “There was not.”

Oh, but your head is truly spinning now – each new revelation more disorienting than the last. How long have these two been conspiring together? What does Hyeri know about what’s transpired between you and Lord Jung? What does he know about the many private things you’ve shared with Hyeri? Both thoughts cause the bile in your stomach to rise.

“You can leave us now, Hyeri,” Lord Jung says. “Thank you.”

Leave you? Has the man lost all good sense? You open your mouth to protest, but when met with the intensity in his glittering dark eyes, words fail you. You just stand there, mouth agape, rendered mute and immobile with shock. You look over at Hyeri, who has fixed her pleading eyes to your wide ones, her expression urging you to comply. And though you cannot make sense of a single thing that you’ve witnessed tonight, you do.

“Very well, My Lord,” she says quietly. “Rest well, Your Grace. The staff rouses at dawn.”

And with that Hyeri takes her leave, the chamber door closing behind her with a heavy thud that echoes the one in your chest.

⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️

Once you are alone with Lord Jung, you realize how truly vulnerable you are.

With little more than a thin nightgown to cover you, he can see far more of you than would ever be considered proper. All it would take was one shout from the man to bring the guards running, to compromise you both to the point of expulsion. Perhaps worse.

But the situation is far weightier than that.

You’ve been vulnerable to this man from nearly the first moment you saw him. You’d been weak to his attention and charms. You’d allowed him to see you in ways that no one else has: not Chaehee, not Hyeri and certainly not the King. And the only time in your life that you’d thrown caution to the wind – and acted with abandon, not restraint – he’d mortified you. The memory of that night is a wound that’s just barely begun to heal, and now here Lord Jung stands, poised to pour salt on it.

You’ll not allow him to devastate you again.

“Go on then,” you say, lifting your chin and speaking with feigned bravado. “You’ve gone to great lengths to speak to me, so speak. I assume you’ll enlighten me as to which matter is so pressing that you felt the need to steal into my chamber and risk ruin for us both.”

“I know what I’m risking,” he growls. Then he stops to collect himself, exhaling deeply as he shoves a hand through his hair. “I know what we both stand to lose. But I could not come to you any other way.”

“Why have you come to me at all?” you demand. “You made your feelings quite clear the night of the festival, did you not?” You can no longer contain your bitterness and it drips from your every word. “You should go back to your sovereign, My Lord. Back to your King.”

Lord Jung looks stricken when you use his own words against him. There is a despair in his dark eyes that might have pained you once, but not now. Not anymore.

“You have every right to be angry with me, Your Grace,” he acknowledges. “And if you bid me to leave, then I will do so. But not without telling you the truth. You deserve to hear the truth.”

“Everything here is a lie. Perhaps you, most of all.”

He looks at you for a long moment before turning towards the hearth to gaze into the fire. Orange-red light illuminates his profile, sweeping across his smooth brow, over the elegant slope of his nose and down to his strong jaw. He is still the most beautiful – and most terrible man you’ve ever known.

“The King said he would give her up,” he says woodenly, staring into the flames. “When your marriage was announced, he swore it. And I believed him.”

Every muscle in your body pulls tight.

“I knew that he loved her. We all did. But he vowed that he would respect his father’s wishes and I’ve never known him to be a duplicitous man. I’ve never known him to say one thing and do another. And when I realized that he’d been deceiving you, deceiving us all, I – “ he stops and shakes his head at the memory. “ – I wasn’t thinking clearly. I confronted him at once and demanded that he explain himself.”

The argument in the courtyard. The memories come back to you in an instant. The way they’d both looked so irate, the way their voices would rise and then fall. Lord Jung turning his back on the King and stalking away into the dark.

The tightness in your chest is unbearable now, viselike.

“I was so damned angry,” he whispers, more to himself than to you. “Never once in my life have I imagined putting my hands on the King, but in that moment – I don’t know. I don’t know what I might have done had I not walked away. But I confronted him because I had to know why.”

He rips his gaze from the fire and turns to you, eyes flashing.

“And do you know what he told me? Do you know what he said when I asked him why he would insult you by keeping a lover? He told me that he couldn’t stay away. That he’d tried to do the honorable thing but he couldn’t stay away.”

“Why are you telling me this?” The tremor in your voice belies your pathetic attempt at composure. “If you mean to cause me pain, it’s too late. I’ve known about the King’s lover since the early days of this marriage, and I’ve accepted it. Just as I’ve accepted that I’ll never amount to more than a trinket he dusts off to show to his people.”

Lord Jung takes a step towards you, his beautiful face hard in the firelight. There’s a maelstrom behind his eyes, a polite violence that sets you to shiver.

“I’m telling you this because I need you to understand,” he says. “I want to hate him. I have tried to hate him. But I cannot. I have no position of honor to stand on. No rightful claim to virtue. I have no right to condemn the King for his sins when I have so many of my own to account for.”

“I – I don’t understand,” you say weakly.

“I have no right – “ his voice breaks, thick with emotion, “-- I have no right to denounce the King for coveting another woman.” He drags a hand down his face, distraught. “Not when I have spent every single day since you stepped out of that carriage coveting you.”

You stop breathing entirely.

“So no,” he continues, voice graveled. “I cannot bring myself to hate the King. And you were right to think me a liar. I’ve pretended that my nearness to you was benign, nothing more than an act of service. I’ve tried to make myself look honorable to you, when I have been anything but. I’ve been a liar since the moment I met you.”

You are trembling now, head to toe. Rendered speechless by Lord Jung’s confession. Slowly, the maelstrom in his eyes starts to recede. He looks as vulnerable now as you feel.

“You deserved to know the truth,” he says quietly. “If from no one else, than from me.”

There is a heavy silence in the seconds it takes you to find your voice.

“My Lord, I – “

“Don’t call me that,” he pleads. “Please. Not now. Not when I’ve come to you like this.”

“Very well, Hoseok. But you sent me away. In the woods that night, I’d asked you to – “ you stop, not wanting to say the words aloud. “What’s changed? Why are you telling me this now?”

“I have tried to leave you alone.” His voice is ragged now, anguished. “I thought if I could just put some distance between us – if I rose earlier and worked harder and retired later – that I could exhaust this need out of me. But I can’t.” Torment is etched into every line of his beautiful face. It makes you want to reach out and touch him but you resist, uncertainty keeping your hands pinned to your sides.

“I cannot war with myself any longer,” he says hoarsely. “I cannot continue to lie to you or myself. And if he is not willing to give you the things you desire, then I will.”

Heat rushes to your cheeks, your neck. It gathers in your belly, too.

“So if you’re asking me why now?” he says, taking another step towards you, closing what little distance remains. “It’s because I couldn’t stay away.”

He touches you then, takes your face into one warm hand and strokes his fingers down your temple, smooths the pad of his thumb over your lips. The featherlight touch raises goosebumps all over your skin. It’s more intimate than anything you’ve ever experienced with the King.

“Do you still want me to kiss you?” he murmurs.

“No,” you breathe. “I want so much more than that.”

He looks at you with such heat that the warmth in your belly goes molten. Then he presses his mouth to yours and slowly coaxes it open with gentle strokes of his tongue. He tastes of whiskey and smells of fine, heady soap and he does not relent until you are panting. Moisture gathers at the juncture of your thighs, beneath your thin nightgown.

But suddenly you are apprehensive. You’ve no idea how to kiss a man properly, much less satisfy him as a lover. And you’re not sure that you could ever live down the shame of disappointing him. When he finally pulls away to look down at you with heavy-lidded eyes, you have no choice but to confess.

“There’s something you should know, Hoseok,” you say, the sound of his given name still foreign in your mouth. “It’s just that – well, I am by no means a maiden but in some respects, I might as well be. I know almost nothing about how to please you.”

Anger flashes in his eyes, and for one terrifying moment you fear it’s for you.

“That is through no fault of your own,” he says darkly. “And if he’s been too much of a fool to see to your needs, then so be it.” He dips his head to press a kiss to your ear, then whispers, “Your pleasure will be mine and mine alone.”

⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️

Hoseok spends an inordinate amount of time tending to the fire.

You sit on the edge of your bed and watch him, feverish with anticipation as he moves the weakest logs and adds fresh ones. Once he’s satisfied, once the chamber is glowing with fresh flames and warmth, he cleans his hands and comes to you.

Your heart rattles harder with each step he takes towards your bed.

When he’s finally standing at the foot of your bed, he takes off his belt. And then reaches behind his head to pull his tunic away. The sight of his bare chest is enough to make your mouth go dry. His body is lithe and sleek and strong, his muscles rippling as he puts his hands down on either side of you and lowers his mouth to yours for a kiss.

“Tonight is about you, pretty bird,” he murmurs, trailing more kisses across your cheek, down your neck. “So I want you to tell me everything you want.”

“I want to see you.” The words leave you in a rush an account of the way his mouth moves from the juncture of your neck and to the hollow of your collarbone. “All of you.”

Hoseok wastes no time in straightening to his full height to remove his breeches, and then his smallclothes. And try as you might not to stare, it cannot be helped. You’ve never been able to study a man like this. Not even the King.

“Can I touch you?”

“Please,” he groans.

And then you are cautiously reaching for him, wrapping a hand around the length of him, marveling at the way he pulses in your palm. You run your fingertips down the skin of his shaft, awestruck by how silky and warm he is. But when your fingers reach the blunt head of him, he flinches.

“I don’t – I’m sorry,” you say quickly. “Did I hurt you?

“No, no. You didn’t hurt me,” he assures you, his voice sounding a bit strangled. “I’m just sensitive there, is all.”

“Will you show me, then?” you ask, curiosity far stronger than any self-consciousness you might feel. “Show me how to touch you.”

“Of course.”

He sits down on the bed beside you, taking hold of your hand. And then you watch with a heady mix of confusion and excitement as he takes your fingers into his mouth one, by one. He finishes the unfamiliar preparation by licking a long stripe up the palm of your hand. The stroke of his tongue sends a bolt of desire racing through you.

“It’s easier like this,” he explains, guiding your hand back to his length. You take hold of him again and this time he wraps his hand around yours. He moves your hand for you, up and down the length of him, until you can feel him growing hotter and harder in your hand. You’re fascinated by it all – by how firmly he wants to be touched, by how labored his breathing becomes, by the way the muscle and sinew in his legs seem to twitch at your command.

He leans over to capture your mouth as he begins to buck into your hand in earnest. And after a while his own hand falls away, leaving you to take control of his pleasure. And what an intoxicating power he’s given you – taut muscles in his abdomen flexing with each of his strained breaths.

“That feels so good, pretty bird,” he groans, taking your bottom lip between his teeth. “Just right. Your hand feels so good around me like this.”

The wetness you’d felt between your thighs when he’d kissed you the first time returns, and each sound of pleasure he rewards you with makes you wetter and warmer. He is rock hard in your hand now, the dusky head of his manhood shiny with moisture. You watch a bead of it appear at the tip and you slide your fingertips over it, transfixed by how smooth it feels. Beside you, Hoseok shudders.

“I think that’s enough for now,” he says, breathless. “I’ll be of no use to you if you keep that up for much longer.”

You have half a mind to protest, but then his hands are sliding over the thin material of your nightgown, cupping your breasts through the gauzy fabric. He takes one of your nipples between his fingers and teases it until it’s standing at attention. You sigh.

“Can I take this off?” he whispers, pulling at the nightgown.

You hesitate. Not even the King has seen you nude. Not once has he ever asked you to remove your nightgown and so for a long time, that is what you’d assumed he preferred. That is, until you’d caught him in bed with his lover.

“Look at me,” Hoseok says, sensing your anxiety. He tips your chin up until your gaze meets his own. “I’ll not ask you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with. But I would be lying if I said that I didn’t want to use my mouth and hands on you. On all of you.”

You inhale deeply, flustered by the way he speaks so plainly about his desires. But that’s what you want, isn’t it? What you’ve longed for all this time. And that’s what he’s promised you, isn’t it? Pleasure. Pleasure that will be his and his alone.

You draw your nightgown up to your thighs and then raise up to pull it even higher. When you’ve finally discarded it, when there is nothing left between you and Hoseok you flush, looking away.

“You have nothing to hide,” he rasps. “You’re beautiful. Believe me, pretty bird – you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.”

Emboldened by the praise, you draw nearer to him and trace the outline of his heart-shaped mouth with one finger. And then it is your lips that find his; your tongue that moves past the seam of his lips and your teeth that find the shell of his ear. You thread your fingers in his hair, and he groans, gathering you close.

“You can’t imagine how many nights I’ve dreamed of you like this,” he says, gently laying you back on the bed. “You can’t imagine how many nights I’ve taken myself in hand to these fantasies.”

Oh, but you can imagine, can’t you? The few times you’d dared to try and seek your own pleasure, it had been him in your mind’s eye as your hand was between your legs. It had always been him.

Hoseok’s mouth leaves yours and when it finds the tip of one aching breast, you gasp.

“Do you like that?” he goads, laving your nipple with his tongue, taking it between his teeth. The pang of pleasure he incites in you is so sharp, you cry out. “Your body is so responsive,” he murmurs. “So damned responsive.”

There is only so much of that particular torture you can take, and so when his mouth finally leaves your breasts you exhale a sigh of relief. But then his mouth is on your sternum, and then your stomach, and then –

You freeze.

“I want to kiss you here,” Hoseok explains, cupping your mound with one large hand. “I promised you pleasure and this is the surest way to it. Will you let me?”

He looks up at you from the edge of the bed, his dark hair wild and his dark eyes glossy with desire, his mouth hovering over your most secret place. Your pulse skitters, heart pounding erratically at the thought of him kissing you there.

“Is it – is it proper?” you ask, chiding yourself at once for asking such a stupid question. Your face flames when Hoseok raises a brow. “I don’t know that I’ve ever thought to consider the … propriety of such an act,” he says slowly. “But I know that you’ll enjoy it if you allow me to show you. And if you don’t enjoy it, I’ll stop.”

In the seconds that follow, you think about the way he’d let you take him in hand. How he’d showed you how to bring him pleasure, without reserve. How powerful you’d felt when he’d been shuddering under your touch. He’d trusted you, hadn’t he? Just as you now must trust him.

“Alright,” you whisper, nodding your assent. “I trust you.”

He grins at you then, wickedly, before lowering his mouth to your mons. And then he is kissing you there, softly, each brush of his lips moving lower and lower still. Until you feel the heat of his breath at your entrance. You tense.

“Relax for me,” he instructs, licking a long, wet stripe up the length of you. The touch sends a frisson of sensation shooting through your limbs. “Close your eyes and try to think of nothing but this.”

And then he sets his tongue to the tiny pearl at your entrance.

And at once, you see stars.

“H-Hoseok!” you gasp, your hips flying off the bed at the contact. The urge to snap your legs shut is almost as strong as the urge to push deeper into the pleasing press of his tongue. Almost.

But he pins your legs down with his arms and continues the onslaught, stroking and licking at you with his tongue, nipping at you with his teeth. You grab fistfulls of the duvet as though it might ground you somehow, keep you from bursting into flame.

And then he slides one long finger into you.

You are incoherent now, moaning and begging in broken sentences that do not make sense. But your body is responding in ways that your words cannot, hips moving in time with his mouth. Each pass of his tongue sends sharp spikes of pleasure to your core. You’d thought you’d known what this pleasure felt like, that perhaps you’d be able to reach it on your own someday, but never once had it been like this.

And then you can feel it – the coil turning inside you, the desperate ascent to the one place you’ve never been able to reach. And it’s so close, so so close – the promise of whatever awaits on the other side strong enough to sate this nameless craving that you’ve felt for so long. It’s within your reach now, if only you can just hold on.

And then it stops.

He takes his mouth and tongue away and the pleasure vanishes. “Hoseok, no,” you cry, sapped of all energy, robbed once again of the relief you so desperately seek. “Please,” you beg weakly, “please.”

But he’s at your side now, the length of his body resting against yours, his manhood hard and hot against your leg. “Come now, pretty bird,” he soothes, “I didn’t bring you this high just to let you fall.”

He presses his lips to your ear at the same time he presses his fingers back to the aching bud between your thighs. “Go on then,” he whispers. “Fly.”

He brings every sensation he’d wrought from you rushing back with his fingers. His mouth hovers at your ear, whispering his encouragement until the coil inside you snaps. He must have known that you’d not be able to contain yourself when you came apart because he covers your mouth with his own, swallowing the sobs he wrenches from you, bringing you down slowly as you come apart.

And when you finally come to your senses again, when your breathing has evened and your heart has slowed and every part of you feels liquid and languid, he smiles.

“I couldn’t risk you waking the entire castle,” he explains apologetically, pressing a kiss to your temple. “Forgive me.”

“There’s nothing to forgive,” you shudder through your quiet laughter, aftershocks of sensation rippling through you. “Quite the opposite, in fact. I’ve never – never experienced anything like that.”

“That’s mine,” he murmurs, going up on one elbow. “Just as I told you it would be.”

Indeed. But what about his pleasure? The firm reminder of it remains pressed against you, the rigid length of it leaking onto your duvet. You reach for it and he draws a sharp breath through his clenched teeth.

“I want to feel you inside me,” you say softly, noting the way a muscle tics in his jaw. You wrap your hand around him and squeeze, astounded by how feverishly hot he feels. “Please.”

Hoseok nods, climbing over you and settling his hips between your thighs. He takes himself in hand and when you feel the blunt head of him at your entrance, you tense again. But he doesn’t enter you right away. Instead he looks down at you, his dark eyes brimming with emotion.

“Are you certain,” he breathes, his brow dotted with a fine sheen of sweat. “I need to hear you say it.”

You lift up to kiss him, pressing your lips to his. “Take me, Hoseok,” you whisper. “Now.”

And in one sure stroke, he’s buried to the hilt inside you.

Bodies sealed, fates sealed.

The force of his entry steals the breath from your lungs. And though you’ve been breached before, it’s never felt like this. You’re still sensitive from the pleasure he’d given you only moments before and each of his thrusts only heightens the sensation.

You cling to him as he rocks against you, closing your eyes to revel in the fullness. He buries his head in your neck and thrusts harder, the sound of his skin meeting yours just as gratifying as it is lurid. And when he reaches between you to press his fingers to your pearl once again, impossibly you feel fresh pleasure begin to bloom.

Broken phrases fall from his lips, a string of curses and blessings and everything in between. And his coarse language doesn’t scandalize you; in fact it only causes you to hurtle towards the peak faster. And then you’re flying again – flying apart, scattering into a million pieces. Crying into his mouth as your release explodes into color and tiny wisps of fire slowly drift back to the earth.

But you come back to yourself just as his rhythm has started to falter, just as the steady cant of his hips becomes so frenetic that you know his own release is near. You have only a moment to mourn the loss of his weight and his warmth before he’s on his knees before you.

You’ve never seen anything more erotic. Firelight flickers over him as he throws his head back, the cords in his neck clenching as he takes himself in hand. And then he is groaning, long and low, as his release spills on to the duvet.

Then he collapses onto you, wrapping you up in his arms, turning you both until he’s on his back and your head rests upon his chest. And then you both lie there for a while, skin to skin, watching the flames cast shadows on the stone.

⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️

Neither one of you sleep, the threat of dawn too near to indulge in any such luxury.

“What happens now, Hoseok?”

You ask the question after he’s made love to you a second time, both of you too exhausted to move. Hoseok inhales and exhales deeply. “I don’t know. I have no control over the world outside of that chamber door, pretty bird.”

You map the lines of his chest with one finger, thoughtful.

“You told me earlier that if the King would not give me the things I desire, you would. Did you mean that?”

“I did,” Hoseok says, pressing a kiss to your hair. “If it’s within my power, then I will. I will give you anything I can.”

“Thank you,” you whisper, closing your eyes and breathing deeply. “Thank you.”

⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️

You sit by the window and take in the afternoon sunlight, eyes drooping as you fight to stay awake.

You cannot ever remember being so tired. You sleep in fits and starts now, two or three hours at a time. And your body is too fatigued to talk up walking again, though the fresh air and exercise would do you some good. But you will walk again, soon. It won’t be long before you’re sitting with your birds and reading in the gentle Spring breeze.

Hyeri charges into the room like a bull, the tea tray in her hand clattering loudly. You narrow her eyes at her as she approaches and she fixes you with a sardonic look.“Oh, hush you,” she grumbles, setting the tray down on the table and walking over to you. “I wasn’t that loud.”

But her scowl falls away as her gaze locks on the baby at your breast, her muted eyes glowing with admiration.

“That’s a fine Prince you have there, Your Grace,” she says softly. Then she looks up at you and her scowl returns. “Though at the rate you’re going, I’ll never get to hold him, will I? You’ve an entire staff to help you with him, and still you refuse. You’re going to make that boy rotten.”

You chuckle under your breath as you stroke your hand over the tuft of downy hair at your son’s crown. He blinks up at you with his huge dark eyes, and your heart is filled to overflowing with a love that you once you thought you’d never know.

⚜️⚜️⚜️⚜️

y,all i finished it! hahah okay so listen. if you'd like to talk to me, i'd love to hear from you. please consider reblogging and dropping me an ask 💕

#hoseok smut #hoseok x reader #j-hope smut #j-hope x reader #bts smut #bts fic #bts x reader

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arson-09 · 1 month

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Man, Rhysand was never the dreamer in that god awful series. It was always Tamlin

Tamlin is the one who has always done everything he can do to stop injustice. Protecting mortals, always accepting fae from other court in his land, trying his damnedest to find a way to break the curse instead of stealing a mortal. He has always dreamed of a safer and more just world and has always tried to make that come true. Even after loosing so much he always did whats right and true in the end.

but hes doomed by the narrative. His good deeds and genuine soul over shadowed by the biases of the narrator. Hes the age old tragedy of wanting to be the best he can and do the best he can.

#acotar #a court of thorns and roses #tamlin #pro tamlin #sarah j maas #sjm #he’s actually such a good and interesting character but is thrown aside for a supposedly morally gray man #the fact tamlin tries to be so morally good causes more interesting scenarios #hes my babygirl #i have so many thoughts i hope this makes sense #my brain is melted from playing stardew valley #Tamlin is so tragic he deserves a happy ending #with people who care for him and who he loves #thats a major part of my fic #if i may self promote #anti rhysand #adding that tag cause some of yall dont know how to scroll

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littlemisshyperfixation · 2 days

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BTS Fic Recommendations

I'll go back and add more fics as I find them! Don't worry Hoseok biases I'll find some for you eventually. <3

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

⊹₊⋆ OT7

⊹₊⋆ Seokjin

⊹₊⋆ Yoongi

⊹₊⋆ Hoseok

⊹₊⋆ Namjoon

⊹₊⋆ Jimin

⊹₊⋆ Taehyung

⊹₊⋆ Jungkook

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wildestdreamsblog · 1 year

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The more you hate

Pairing: Jung Hoseok x Reader

Summary: They say there is a thin line between love and hate. But they never told him crossing that line was dangerous. Idol!AU

Warnings: Yandere behavior, Obsessiveness, Possessiveness, Manipulative behavior, Power imbalance, Sexual themes, If you’re not 18+ please, PLEASE, do not interact. Be mindful of the warnings. Let me know if I miss anything.

A/N: see, he was serving looks for days in Paris that I knew I had to do this 😭 this is an 8k one-shot. I hope you enjoy!

Jung Hoseok’s smile faltered when you entered the dressing room, much to Jimin’s amusement. He was in the middle of a sentence, literally in the middle and the moment you entered, Hobi faltered. This was not the first time. No- this had been happening ever since you became one of the group’s temporary staff. It had been three months now, and not a day went by that he did not flounder when you entered the room he was in.

One may think it was because the main dancer liked you.

They couldn’t be more wrong.

Hobi could not stand you. He could not even smile at you. He could not even mention your name without gagging. And yes, he was that dramatic.

Jimin watched his hyung as the said hyung followed your movement with daggers in his eyes. It entertained him to no end. He, together with the other members, could not pinpoint the reason why the seemingly always happy J-hope treated you that way. Regardless, he would take advantage of Hobi’s current state.

“So my take is okay now, right?” Jimin asked slyly, taking advantage of the fact that you were now here and that he wouldn’t have to suffer anymore on another take just because it was not up to his standard.

Hobi nodded absentmindedly, drinking from his water bottle as he kept on watching, well…more like glaring on your form.

“You don’t think I should move a little to the left, right?” Jimin clarified with mischief in his eyes. Hobi blinked before turning to him. He looked at the tablet he was holding where the dance record was transferred for him to review. He frowned before looking down at it again.

“Jimin, I think you should do-“

“Hey guys, back to studio in five minutes,” you passed on the order from the director, your smile pleasant and respectful as you looked at Jimin, and slowly shifted your gaze at the emotionless Hobi who didn’t even lift his eyes to look at you.

“Okay, Y/N. Thank you,” Jimin replied before telling you that they would be there. You nodded your head slowly, glancing at the stoic Hobi before lowering your gaze and going back to the studio. It was no secret to the other staff, and to the members as well, that treated you differently. He didn’t even attempt to conceal it, no. He made it obvious.

He would literally stop laughing when you entered the room.

He would stop talking to his members when he caught sight of you.

Hell, you thought that if could stop breathing just to not share the air you breathe, he would.

Which was ironic to you considering that you were here for him.

And which was a shame, really. You did love his smile.

“Hyung?” Jimin called him for the third time since you left.

“Yes, Jimin. Your take is perfect.”

The following week was the group’s video shooting for their music video. It had been a hectic week for everyone, including you. You were tired, yet seeing the art made by them come to life was everything. You felt like you were part of a masterpiece, despite you working from behind the scenes. Everything was going well, except for the current part of the MV.

If looks could kill, you’d be buried six feet underground now. Hobi was getting distracted with the way you were laughing with another staff. A male staff. How dare you laughed with another man, he thought. You should be serious. You were working. What was more important to you than your job, he thought. He was so occupied at throwing daggers with his eyes- daggers that you didn’t notice, that he missed his cue for the fifth time. The director yelled cut, gesturing for them to go back to their original position.

Taehyung sighed before whining, “Hyung, what is the problem?”

He didn’t say a thing for a moment that younger man thought he wouldn’t reply. Taehyung was about to go back to his original position when he finally said something.

“I need a coffee. An iced coffee,” Hobi suddenly declared, his eyes still trained at you.

“Do you want my coffee, hyung? I barely took a sip from it!” Jungkook quipped up, on his way to grab his iced coffee when Hobi shook his head.

“No, I want a fresh iced coffee,” he replied in a fake sadness that Namjoon definitely didn’t buy. Suga rolled his eyes. The two of them saw Hobi’s eyes trained on you. They knew what he was doing. They weren’t born yesterday. “In fact, Y/N, why don’t you buy me coffee?” He called out to you, deliberately increasing his voice to get yours and the whole staff’s attention.

You blinked owlishly once you realized that he called for you for the first time in months. You felt everyone’s eyes on you, waiting for you to move. Hoseok sauntered to you, his smile seemed permanent on his face yet his eyes looked cold as he glanced at the man you were talking.

“You know that coffee shop where we bought our coffee last week?” He asked quietly, his tone pleasant. You couldn’t help but nod- so unaccustomed to his proximity. “Can you please buy me an iced vanilla latte?”

You cleared your throat, “S-sure,” you said before turning to look behind him, specifically to the six other members who were looking at the two of you with varying reactions: Jimin seemed like he was generally having a good time, V looked like he was still confused, JK was pouting that his hyung didn’t like his coffee, while RM looked like he was done with everything, Jin was whispering at Suga, and lastly, Suga especially looked sleepy. “Does anyone else want coffee?”

Suga immediately raised his hand, and at the same time, J-hope who never took his eyes off of you lost his smile. “Nobody else wants coffee, right? She’s just going to buy for me,” he announced, turning to look at them with smile on his face, pointedly ignoring Suga’s raised hand.

“Go along now. I’m craving for something sweet,” he murmured with a smirk before turning to walk back to his position.

“But it’s a one-hour drive,” you realized to yourself, already calculating that it would take you more than two hours to travel back and forth, and waiting for the order. You just prayed that there weren’t a lot of people at this hour.

“I guess you have to run along now, Y/N,” Hobi said cheerily, raising his fist as if to gesture ‘fighting’ to you.

You were running as fast as you could without spilling the coffee you were holding. It was more than two hours, and you were stressing. Your co-worker a few minutes ago messaged you that they were almost done with the shoot. You feared that you were already too late. To your defense, he did send you to buy him a coffee knowing full well that it was a full hour away without the traffic. Your temper was shooting up. You were not the most patient person in the world to begin with. He was not like said this in the beginning. In fact, he was normal with you. He smiled, he laughed, he said thank you every time you did something for him- and then one day he just stopped. You thought you had offended him somehow. It was a good thing that you were only a temporary here. In all honesty, all you just wanted was to repay him for the kindness he showed you when you were at your lowest, when you thought that life and everything good in it left you.

So what happened to him?

Where did it all go wrong?

You entered the studio, seeing only few of the staff remained to pack up. The rest were security patrolling the building before calling it a day. They told you that the members left, but that J-hope might still be in the building. With a sigh that you prayed could provide you the patience you didn’t possess, you went up to his room. But when you arrived, he wasn’t there, and only his assistant was left. And that was how you knew your prayers weren’t answered. You offered her a tired smile before turning around.

“Oh, you’re here! He’s been waiting for you,” his assistant said in relief, instructing you to go to the parking lot.

Which you complied.

You hated how he had you running like a dog. You were starting to think if he was really that man who showed you kindness when you needed it the most a few years ago. Did you play that scene too many times that you started to place more meaning to it? Did you hold on to that memory for far too long that you had started to romanticize that moment?

Still, nevertheless, he did save you that day.

You only wished to pay his kindness back.

Finally, you saw him leaning against his car, his attention focused on his fancy cellphone. He looked serious, his brows pinched together. J-hope was now barefaced, and he was now only wearing a white button down shirt and pants which somehow made him more attractive and manly. Regardless, your patience was running thin and no amount of his attractiveness could alleviate what you were feeling.

You meant, who would order an iced coffee knowing full well that by the time it arrived, all the ice would have long melted by then?! He knew it was a two-hour travel, and yet he still insisted. Your steps were quick, and quite frankly sounding provoked that he looked up before you could even call his attention. You handed him the iced coffee carelessly, the content slushing around and not even the lid could saved him from the escaped droplets. He looked down at his drenched hand, not knowing why it didn’t irritate him. He shook his head with amusement in his eyes before turning his attention to you.

“How’s the travel? I hope it wasn’t too much of a hassle,” he lamented in a fake sympathy. He didn’t know why he enjoyed tormenting you, why he wanted all your attention on him. He couldn’t pinpoint the reason why, and he was too naive to realize it himself.

You knew he was testing you, waiting for you to take the bait. But you wouldn’t give him the satisfaction, no. You smiled at him, about to answer him when he lifted his hand that was now dripping from a little coffee and licked it, savoring in the rich taste of the coffee. All while looking at you.

It was too…sexy(?!) for you that you choke on nothing. You felt your cheeks heated up from that that you forgot what you were going to say for a moment.

“Y/N?”

“W-what?”

“Would you drive me home?”

See, why did you say yes? You were just too weak when he was paying attention to you, or when he said please. Or when he looked at you with his soulful eyes that you thought held a little too much emotions, both sadness and euphoria.

Why then did he only let people see his happiness, but never his desolation? Never his regret? Never his weariness?

You watched him warily as you maneuvered out of the basement parking lot. He was sitting beside you, leaning his head on the head rest. He had his eyes shut closed that you could observed him freely. He looked tired, evidenced by his slumbering form.

You thought that it must have been so exhausting to project a happy, lively image every single day.

And so, you told yourself you’d give him the time to sleep by driving as peacefully as you could- which was not easy because you weren’t a good driver in the first place. You thought that it was a miracle you were able to pass your driving test when the examiner looked like he was holding on for dear life. But you knew the road signages, knew the laws, knew the do’s and dont’s, and so by miracle, you were able to pass your exam.

Driving on the main road was no easy feat. You were intimidated by the fast cars, and because of that, you were driving even slower than usual that the less than one-hour drive to his house turned to an almost two-hour drive. The man sleeping beside you was not even aware of what was happening, lost in his own dreams. The movement of the car moved his head to the side, facing you. He was even more angelic when he wasn’t busy glaring at you. He was even more ethereal when he wasn’t giving you meaningless tasks. In the silence of the car, absent of the noise that his world brought, he shone more.

Sometimes you couldn’t believe you were with him now, that you were breathing the same air he was breathing, that you could see him the whole day when he was just a mere memory of your darkest day- the day you buried your parents.

You were numb, so numb that you could barely feel your tears falling freely from your eyes. Your black, funeral dress was in contrast with the gentle picture that the sunset was quietly painting. You were staring at the ocean, the forgiving way the waves kissed the sand didn’t bring you peace. You thought that nothing could bring you peace anymore, that from this day forward, all you would feel was the cold loneliness from losing the only family you had. You thought that you would ran out of tears now that a week passed since you lost your adoptive parents from a horrendous accident. But the tears never stopped. And your heart never ceased to break.

You didn’t know how long you sat on the sand, you didn’t know how many tears fell, or how you were the picture perfect of melancholy. But Jung Hoseok knew, that day he knew.

Your hair had long fell from its confines, now freely flowing with the wind when you turned to look behind you. There, you saw him. He was sitting on the sand just like you. He was resting his arms on his knees. The young man was looking at the sea. He looked so serene, yet his eyes were troubled.

“I thought you’d never stop crying,” he voiced out. He had been sitting there almost as long as you. He came to clear his thoughts, only to find a young woman crying on her own. It was a difficult time for him. He thought that his career was not going anywhere, that he was wasting his time, that no matter how hard he worked, their group wouldn’t make it. He felt like his dream was a like a punch to the moon- impossible. He was torn between giving up and trying, yet this time as a soloist. To add salt to the wound, he watched as everyone received fan letters but him. Jung Hoseok had problems of his own.

So why then did he choose to stay?

He didn’t know why, but he never had the heart to leave you alone. Something was telling him that he was supposed to be here, that he shouldn’t leave you alone.

That you needed him.

You sniffed at the young man with a kind face behind you. He thought you were the most beautiful person in the world, regardless of the endless pit of sadness you were drowning in. He didn’t smile at you. You didn’t need a smile right now. He wordlessly stood up, walked near you, and placed in your hand a white handkerchief. “Cry more if you want. I’ll wait until you’re done,” he stated. And you did. You cried so hard, you cried so much until no tears fell anymore. All the while, he stood there with his hands in his pockets, his eyes trained on the crashing waves. He was humming a song you weren’t familiar with, but you found it soothing. You found him calming.

“You must think I’m a lunatic,” you whispered, his handkerchief drenched with your tears.

He shook his head, “It’s not crazy to cry. It’s how you express the love that has nowhere else to go,” he said tonelessly, as if it was just the truth of life. And it was. “What’s crazy is that people stop themselves from feeling when we aren’t made to not feel. If you’re sad, then cry. If you’re happy, then laugh. It’s not crazy to cry. It’s human to cry.”

He finally looked down at you. He didn’t know why he cared so much when he had burdens of his own. But he wanted you to know, “You’re not alone. I don’t think you were put in this world to be alone.”

No one, not even your closest family friends knew what to say to the pitiful young orphan that was you. Their words seemed empty to you. Their hugs seemed meaningless to you. But this young man that you didn’t even know stood by you as you cried. This man was able to comfort you more than anyone could. This man told you that you weren’t alone. And you held on to that. That day was your saving grace.

It was almost a year ago, yet you didn’t forget him. You couldn’t. His handkerchief was still with you, a remembrance of the day you felt like the world turned its back on you. You were walking to your university, enjoying the calm breeze of the morning when you heard a song from the store you were passing.

That same melody.

That same unfamiliar song he was humming.

Without any thought, you entered the store and saw that the owner was watching a performance by an unknown group. And there he was.

That day, you learned his name.

That same day, you wrote his first fan letter.

J-hope opened his eyes. For the first time in months, he felt rested. It was dark outside, he noted. He was still in the car. He turned to look at you, and there you were smiling so gently at him.

“Slept well, sleepy head?”

The car was parked in front of his house for almost an hour. You didn’t have the heart to wake him up, and so you stayed with him. He deserved the rest after all the hard work he was putting to their craft. Without any makeup on, he looked just like the young man you met on that day. He looked younger without the stress that was piling up on him.

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” He asked, his voice still laced with sleep. “And why didn’t you park the car inside the house?”

“Well, I can definitely park your car. But I can’t assure you that I won’t scratch your car,” you confessed. You sucked at parking, as pitiful as that sounded. He blinked at you before laughing- a real one this time. He always laughed but it wasn’t always out of happiness that you hated hearing his fake laughters, loathed seeing his fake smiles.

“Cute,” he whispered. He wasn’t able to stop himself.

“What?”

“I said you looked like a shoe,” he scoffed before getting out of his car. He rounded the car, and opened the door for you.

“That doesn’t even make any sense!” You pointed out, looking at him indignantly. You looked like a shoe? What did that even mean?!

J-hope smirked, before leaning down and pressing the seatbelt to release you. His face was so near you that you could clearly see his eyes. You loved the color of his eyes, the quintessential blend of brown. You loved his face. You loved how you thought he had the perfect bone structure, how straight he nose was, the perfect size for his face. You loved how he was the perfect embodiment of everything good in this world.

Wait, what? Loved? You meant, you liked his eyes and his face!

He was so near that you could feel his heat. He was not satisfied that he even leaned closer, his arm resting beside your hips while the other was propped beside your head. He was so near that you could smell his manly scent. He looked at your eyes, before whispering, “Get out.”

See, he didn’t even thank you that day.

The end of all the shootings was marked by a celebration party. All the staff, together with the members, were having fun dancing, eating, and drinking in a hotel solely rented by the company. You were exhausted beyond measure, and not just because of work. Specifically, it was because of J-hope that had you running all around the town as if you were his own personal assistant. Not only that but his mood swings drained you. Who knew this person was so moody, you thought.

“You’re a fashion design graduate?” Your male co-staff asked you in disbelief. You chuckled before you took a sip of your drink. “Then why are you working as a staff here?”

You explained to him that you were waiting for the result of your application to work for a brand you believed and supported abroad. You did interviews virtually and now you were eagerly waiting for the response. You couldn’t wait to finally live your dream, the one you had the strength to reach because you promised yourself that day to never give up.

You turned to look beside you and you almost jumped when you saw Yoongi silently drinking his choice of alcohol. How could he move so silently? And how long had he been sitting there?

“Do you want anything else, Yoongi? I’ll get it for you,” you offered politely to one of the members, smiling at him when he shifted his eyes to you.

“So you’re leaving?” He asked instead of answering your inquiries. It was out of nowhere that it took you a moment to realize he heard your plans.

“Oh, u-uhm. Yes, that’s my life plan”

“Hmm,” he thought of the headache that was about to come, seeing as from across the room, Hoseok was already throwing daggers at him with his eyes. “What did Hoseok say about that?”

You blinked owlishly in confusion, wondering why he brought up what he thought of your decision. “I didn’t tell him. But the company knows I’m only temporary here,” you trailed off your explanation, seeing the stoic Suga looked stressed. “No worries, though! I’ll make sure to finish all my commitments before I leave,” you hurriedly assured him, mistaking his silence for his apprehension on work. After all, he was known for being a workaholic.

Suga was certain it was not smart to hide this from Hoseok.

Another hour passed and you weren’t able to keep track of your alcohol intake. Everyone was loose, and the staff you grew closed to kept on drinking more and more. It was bad, you drank more than you should evidenced by your slurred words and your barely focused eyes.

“Noona, you’re drunk,” he noted as Jungkook kneeled in front of you, checking your current state with his worried, doe eyes. In your eyes, there were two Jungkook- two muscular Jungkook that looked at you with concern. “Come on. I’ll help you,” he said worriedly, placing your arm around his neck as he guided you to stand up. He, with Namjoon, had been helping the drunk staff get to their rooms, seeing as they were one of the few sober people here. He was about to lift you up when Hoseok who had been going back and forth about helping you showed up. He told himself he didn’t care, that you were merely a nuisance to him and that your presence disturbed his composure. On the other hand, something about another man touching you just didn’t seem right to him.

He guessed the possessive side of him won that night.

“Jungkookie,” he called the youngest member, clapping his muscular shoulder once. “I’ll take care of her. You go help Namjoon.”

Jungkook faltered once, looking at his hyung with hesitancy in his eyes. Didn’t he hate you? Wasn’t it just last week that Hobi saw you laughing at V’s joke? And that he said that if you had time to joke around and laugh with other people, then you’d have time to take his car for maintenance. That took you two hours. Plus the drive back to the company. Plus he made you drive him to his home.

And then he made you cook him dinner.

“Are you sure, hyung?” It didn’t escape Hobi’s eyes that the maknae still did not let you go. “I can bring her up real quick and then help Namjoon hyung-“

“Jungkook. Go help Namjoon,” Suga ordered quietly, his stance relaxed that he didn’t have any choice but to place you gently back on the sofa. See, how could he slither up to anywhere without making a sound? He was like a cat, Jungkook swore in amazement.

“You know what you’re doing, right, Hoseok?” Suga clarified with Hobi, his voice bored as if he didn’t care either way. But he did. The whole members were at lost with how Hobi was treating you. It was unlike him. He was always the first to smile at anyone, always the first to offer a helping hand, the first to make anyone feel welcome.

So what made you an outlier?

“Because if you don’t, I suggest you start thinking of the reason why you’re like this. And stop playing with her.”

J-hope carried you in his arms, your dizzy head leaning on his chest. This close and you could inhale his musky, manly scent. He did smell good despite the smell of alcohol lingering on his shirt. His body was warm- the kind that was pleasant and felt like home.

Carefully, he laid you on the bed, supporting your head until it hit the pillow. With softness you didn’t know he possessed for you, he placed a blanket on your body after he made sure you drank enough water.

He knew he should leave, he knew he did the decent thing. Why then did he not want to leave you when you were this vulnerable? Why then did he want to stay?

Why then did he falter when all he wanted to do was brush the hair off of your face?

And why was he fighting against himself?

His hand hovered just above your skin, gently tracing the outline of your cheeks, of your nose, of the way your lips protruded.

The way your eyelashes softly fluttered against your cheeks was endearing. The way your brows furrowed in your sleep unknowingly made him smile. You were so ethereal in his eyes, that he made up his mind. With extreme gentleness, he brushed you hair off of your face. This close and he could see the marks on your skin, proving further how you were made so uniquely, how marvelously you were created. He caressed your cheek with the back of his hand, no longer wondering how soft your skin was because this time, he knew. Perhaps, he was not in control as he initially thought because he found himself touching your lips with his thumb. And at that time, he could have swore he wanted nothing more than to kiss you, to feel your lips against his, to know what you tasted.

He looked so lost, his eyes trained on your lips that he didn’t notice you looking at him. And when he met your eyes, you didn’t say anything. You merely waited, waited so sweetly, anticipating what his decision would be. Yet, for the life of you, you wished you wouldn’t be alone.

J-hope would have stepped back if not for your hand holding on to his. “I don’t want to be alone,” you confessed, seeing the same loneliness that haunted you each night in his eyes. “Can’t you stay?” You whispered.

You didn’t have to ask twice.

He was only meant to stay until you fell back asleep. He only meant to sit beside you, not lie down on the bed facing your slumbering form. He only meant to be here temporarily. He only meant to keep his distance- so why then did you have your hand buried in his chest? Why then did he hold it close to him? Because now, no one could tear him away from you. Now, he was looking at you with as if the truth itself was glaring at him, willing him to finally see what he was desperately misunderstanding.

He sighed with the realization that his hatred for you was a misunderstood emotion, something that he didn’t know he could experienced in this life. The line between love and hate was definitely thin. He didn’t know when he crossed it, he just knew he couldn’t go back.

“Why are you still so good to me?” He asked despite knowing you wouldn’t answer. How could you take all the shit he had been throwing at you? How could you continuously asked him everyday if he was okay, if he needed anything? How could you still smile at him when he had been anything but good to you?

He thought you wouldn’t answer, but you did.

And in your haze, you whispered, “Because you saved me.”

The six members were all gathered in their communal room. They were all looking at each other, waiting for anyone to start. It was apparent to them that J-hope didn’t come home last night. In fact, Jungkook happened to pass by the hallway at six in the morning, looking for food because he was starving when the door to your hotel room opened. And there he came face to face with the disheveled, clothes-wrinkled, Hoseok.

“Do you think…he killed her?” He voiced out his concern, eyes wide as he looked at his hyungs.

Jimin chuckled at the youngest member’s innocence. He was the first one to notice how different his hyung was when it came to you. He was just glad that finally after tirelessly looking at the two of you interacted, his hyung finally made a move.

“He likes her,” RM finally spoke up, his eyes trained on the book he was reading.

“Really?” Taehyung asked in disbelief. How could he not see it?

“Tae, you’re so dense,” Jin bellowed, throwing V the pillow he was holding. “Don’t you have eyes?”

“Shit, he’s here!” Jimin alerted them when he saw his hyung opening the door. “Quick act natural!”

The freshly showered main dancer entered the room. He looked like he had rested well. Everyone avoided eye contact with him. It was apparent to him that Jungkook blabbered what he saw this morning. With a sigh, he looked at the culprit who had his head buried on a book.

“Jungkook, how’s that book?”

“It’s very educational, hyung!”

“Interesting,” he said in a deadpanned voice before walking to him, grabbing the book, and flipping it upside down. “Very interesting. I didn’t know you could read that way.”

He turned to look at Suga who had his eyes closed, his head bent in an unnatural manner that he was certain it was not comfortable.

“Suga hyung, stop pretending to sleep. There is no way anyone can sleep in that position.”

Yoongi cleared his throat before sitting up straight as if he wasn’t called on his lie. “How was your night?”

“It was…good,” he replied with a genuine smile on his face that Suga couldn’t help but mirror it on his own. Hoseok deserved to be happy, that was what they all thought.

He hadn’t slept that well in a long time, but he noticed that whenever he was with you he felt like he could rest. Like he could close his eyes and it would be okay because you were there. Like he could shed the happy persona he was wearing and just be himself. Like he could feel emotions other than happiness he was showing to the world.

The problem now was that he spent all his time antagonizing you that he was sure you wouldn’t give him the time of the day. To which, Taehyung articulated that maybe, he should try being kind to you.

So yes, he did try doing that. But now, you looked at him suspiciously. Just the other day, he passed you a bottle of water because he thought you looked a little parched. You passed it back to him with the lid opened, much to his shocked. Did you think he was asking you to open it for him?!

The next time, he opened the bottle himself and passed it to you, this time you thought he wanted a colder one so you went to fetch him that. His jaw literally dropped when you passed him the bottle. He even bought you flowers, certain that you would loved it. In fact, you loved it so much you put it in a vase only for J-hope to find it displayed in his office. Jin laughed himself to the floor when he saw it.

You were preoccupied with the instruction being disseminated, your eyes focused on the schedule given that you didn’t notice your shoelace was untied. Without much thought, Jung Hoseok leaned down on his knee, his mind focused on the task. You almost didn’t notice that the noise suddenly stopped, and that all eyes were on you. Slowly, you looked down to find his head bent down as he tied your shoelace. His brows were furrowed, engrossed in his task. He looked up suddenly, meeting your eyes. You felt your cheeks heating up from his gesture. He smirked and he thought that you would finally get it.

You didn’t. To which RM advised that he made it obvious this time, to make you actually noticed him, to leave you no choice but to notice him.

The following week was the group’s schedule to film somewhere remote for their segment. It was a three-day trip. You looked around the basement parking, wondering where your co-staff were. Weren’t you all supposed to drive there together? You were about to call them on your phone when you saw J-hope leaning against his car, his eyes trained on you.

“About time you show up. Let’s go,” he sighed. You guessed you were going to have to drive him again. And here you thought that you’d get to catch up on your sleep. You opened the door when Hoseok slammed it shut again, his manly hand beside your head as it rested on the door. Here he was again, standing so near you that you had no choice but to step back. But this time, you couldn’t. You were between him and the car.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m…going to drive?” You answered unsurely, breath hitching as he leaned in even further. If you thought he was handsome when he was smiling, the serious Hoseok did things to your heart.

“I’m driving. That’s why I waited for you.”

“Yeah, but why? Don’t I always drive you?”

Why was it hard flirting with you, he thought.

You watched him from the corner of your eye as he drove with one hand, the other resting on the stick gear. He had coffee prepared for you in his car, even a bottle of water for the travel. He was being so uncharacteristically kind and considerate to you that you were becoming suspicious now.

“Your hair looks so beautiful,” he complimented all of a sudden that you almost sputtered out the water you had been drinking. What did he mean? You didn’t even wash your hair today. Was he insulting you? Was he complimenting you? At this point, did anyone know what was going on?

“Did I do something wrong?”

“What?”

“I don’t know. You seem different now. If I did something wrong, I’m sorry.”

He looked at you with confusion in his face, holding your eyes for a moment before turning his attention back to the road. “Just because I said your hair is beautiful?”

When you only blinked at him, lost for words when he looked puzzled himself before a shadow of understanding passed through his expressive face. “You don’t remember that night, do you?”

“What night?”

And there it was. He thought that he already made progress with you. And it turned out that you remember none of it.

The members watched as you and J-hope arrived with anticipation in their faces, only for Hoseok to shake his head. He spent the whole three days literally glued to your side. He brought you food, he opened water bottles for you, he sat beside you wherever you were, even going as far as glaring at any man who had the audacity to sit beside you. Most of all, he made you laughed. He listened to whatever you had to say with laser focus, as if you were the most interesting person in the world. And one night, when you all had too much to drink, he sat beside you and held your hand in his in the darkness of the night.

You could admit that as much as you didn’t want to, being this close to him was affecting you. Which was bad. Because you knew you couldn’t and shouldn’t fall for him, that you shouldn’t get attached because this would end badly for you. You were leaving. And you were just here to make his life a little bit easier as a repayment to what he unknowingly did for you. And so, you started steering clear of his path for his sake, but also for the sake of your heart. Whenever you saw him, you’d suddenly have an errand to do. Whenever he was about to go to you, you’d suddenly join a group of people so he wouldn’t come. You even went as far as jumping at the last car, which happened to be Suga’s, just so you wouldn’t be with Hoseok. Suga looked at you weirdly before looking at the window, and then sighing. You were only glad that he drove without a word.

“Don’t you like him?” He asked in a bored tone after driving for half an hour. “And don’t lie to me.”

You blushed as you looked anywhere but him. Truth, you found out, was harder to deny once it was verbalized, once it was said. You could hardly deny the truth when you kept it in yourself, what would happen to you then if you say it?

“Can I trust you?” You asked in a small voice. You weren’t close to him, but you knew he was quiet, that he was like a Cheshire cat, merely sitting there quietly and observing, always observing. From the few interactions you had with him, you knew he only had his members’ best interest in heart. He was asking not because he was curious, no. He was asking because he cared for Hoseok.

“You can,” he replied in that deep voice of his. “Or you can’t. It’s up to you.”

You smiled at his answer, this was really who Suga was. And so, you decided to tell the truth.

“I do… but this is not going anywhere. What I feel for him is irrelevant,” you began, your lips twitching as you played with your fingers nervously. “He is a good man.”

Yoongi nodded as he silently drove, lost in his own thoughts. His mind must have been interesting, it must have been too complexed that you wondered how he would act when he fell. You didn’t know if you admire or pity the woman who would have the bravery to fall for him.

“That’s not for you to decide, Y/N. At least tell him.”

You wouldn’t.

You walked quietly after you made sure that he was not around. It had been a week of successfully avoiding Hoseok and you could see that he was becoming displeased with your actions. It was apparent to him that you were avoiding him, much to his vexation. But this ended now.

You were on your way to a meeting, in your hand was your planner. This was your last month, your contract was almost through. Your thoughts were immersed with things you needed to do that you didn’t notice that it was peculiar you were the first one in the small conference room. You waited for the other attendees of the meeting, lost in your own world as you wrote on your planner. The door opened and closed, and you lifted your head with a smile on your face ready to greet whoever that was when you saw him. He entered the room with a blank face, never turning his back on you as he pressed the lock. He walked around the table and sat on it, perching his lap on the edge as he faced you. His eyes looked tired. It took him a moment before he broke the silence.

“You’re avoiding me,” he stated as though he didn’t need your answer.

“I’m not-“ you started denying when he tilted his head to the side, his expression even going more serious. You recognized this face, the expression he used when he was coaching on the dance routines. You looked at your lap, anywhere just to avoid his intense gaze. Yet, you could not escape him. You were too hyperaware of his presence, of his larger than life presence that made you want to say yes to whatever he wanted. His thigh was almost touching your hand that was on the table.

“Why are you avoiding me, angel?” He asked gently, terrified that you’d up and leave like the last few days. You couldn’t even deny when he already saw right through your bullshit. You were afraid to look into his eyes because then he would see, he would know what you felt. When you still didn’t lift your eyes to him, he held your hand, bringing it to his lap. To be honest, he was scared. He hated the feeling of not seeing you, of not talking to you, of not having you near him. “Tell me, hmm? Tell me and I’ll fix whatever it is.”

Your lips quivered. It had been too log since anyone told you they’d fix it for you, that they’d take care of it for you. You had been alone for far too long that hearing that hurt you. What you felt for him terrified you. For so long you looked at him as though he was your savior, and now you were looking at him like he could be something more when you knew you were setting yourself for another heartache- one that you wouldn’t survive. Hoseok lifted your hand to his lips, softly kissing your palm, his eyes never leaving yours. “Tell me.”

“I-I think,” you began before trailing off. You chewed on your bottom lip, your eyes trained on his chest. You still couldn’t look at him, still could not f the life of you look at him as you told him the truth.

“You think what, angel?” He repeated gently, urging you to continue.

“I think…I’m falling in love with you,” you finally said as you shut your eyes closed, waiting for his disgust.

Yet it never came.

He was silent, so silent that it terrified you. You were pulling your hand away from his when he tightened his hold on you. It left you no choice but to look up at him…only to find him with a genuine smile on his face.

“Good,” he whispered, his face losing the tense look it had moments ago. Now, J-hope was happy, utterly happy. And it showed. “Because I already fell.”

He tilted your chin further, and slowly, so slowly he leaned in. His jaw was set hard with concentration, his eyes trained on you. And then you felt his lips on yours. It was soft, a kind of kiss reserved for first kisses, the one where one wanted to savor the moment. He kissed you once, twice- and then he leaned back, opened his eyes and looked at you as if asking you if that was okay. And when you nodded, J-hope decided he wanted more. The kiss began to get more heated. Suddenly, he lifted you from your seat and placed you on top of the table. He grabbed your waist and pulled you closer, so close that you could feel the growing hardness of his member. You have been kissed before, but certainly not like this. Certainly not by someone as grand as him. Certainly not the kind of kiss where time felt like it stood still. You could feel his tongue inside you, keen on discovering every inch of you. It was too much, it was too many emotions that you didn’t know how to handle them. You felt his other hand possessively around the back of your neck. You thought it was forever before he stopped kissing you. He leaned his forehead on yours, breathing hard as he leveled you with his intense gaze.

“You’re mine now, right, angel?” He asked as he looked at you with his lust-filled eyes.

Were you his?

Could you be his?

It was as if you were awaken, as if the haze that surrounded you was now gone and in its place was the hard truth that you weren’t supposed to be with him because you were leaving.

You shook your head, your hands pushing on his chest. “No. I’m sorry,” you whispered, tears brimming on your eyes “We can’t.”

In his weakened state and shocked, you were able to push him away. You ran to the door without looking back, and left him.

What happened, he thought in confusion. He was about to follow you when he noticed that you left your planner in your haste to escape. He was about to pick up the open planner when something piqued his curiosity.

Your handwriting seemed familiar to him. He tilted his head to the side, trying to remember why this seemed like a piece of a puzzle to him. He racked his brain, trying to remember something… And then he got it. He remembered this handwriting, the same handwriting that he had framed in his office- his first fan letter. He looked at it for hours back when he wanted to give up, and until now he looked at it with gratitude that someone believed in him when he wanted to give up.

It was you. He finally found you.

If this wasn’t fate, then he didn’t know what it was.

It almost buried the hurt he was feeling when you pushed him away. Almost. He was almost okay. But then he saw you marked the date of your last day in the company- and on the next page was the list of things you needed to accomplish because you leave the country. You were leaving the country. You were fucking leaving him.

You couldn’t leave, no. Not when he finally found you. Not when he only felt this way with you. Not when this was fate itself. Not when he was irrevocable so in love with you, not when he couldn’t even begin to imagine breathing without you. No. You cannot leave him. His mind was going overdrive, his heart beating too loud with the thought of losing you.

He needed to do something.

He needed to do it now,

With renewed strength, he marched out the door. His footsteps was hard and fast, looking for any trace of you that he almost ran straight to Namjoon. The leader took a look of his hyung’s state before carefully asking if he got everything under control. To which he replied that he’d only be stable and okay once he was sure that you were never going to leave him.

“Remember to do everything smartly, hyung,” RM advised him as a leader should. But as a friend, he told him where he last saw you. And as someone who also had to do underhanded methods just to get the girl, he stated, “Do what you must do, hyung. Lock her down to you, if you must.”

You almost jumped up when you heard hard, consecutive knocks on your door. It was alraedy closed to midnight, and you were weary. Your eyes were red from crying, something that you had not done in a long time. You were on the floor, surrounded by things you were packing since last week. You thought it was just your neighbor asking for something, and so you thought she would go away. You didn’t have the energy to deal with anyone today.

Yet, the knocks only became more frequent that left you no choice but to open the door- and there he was. Standing tall in front of you was the one you ran away from.

Jung Hoseok had his hands in his pockets, his stance relaxed that you couldn’t read him.

“Can we talk?”

And as an answer, you stepped back and let him passed you inside your apartment. You had barely locked the door when you found yourself against the wall, and his lips hovered above yours for a moment, a moment for you to push him away. And when you didn’t, he pressed against your lips so tenderly and yet so demanding. All thoughts about why this was not a good idea vanished. All of a sudden, all that mattered was this feeling. All that mattered was Jung Hoseok.

His tongue caressed yours, while his hand lifted your leg to him, brushing his hardened member on your core. Pressing so gently as though he was on a mission to seduce you that you were left with no choice but to entangle your fingers in his hair, brushing the strands that fell on his forehead. His other hand journeyed inside your shirt. The heat of your skin, the softness of your skin furthered drove him to madness. His palm was hot as he kneaded you through your bra, pinching your nipple with a pressure you never knew.

“If you don’t want this,” he breathed as he peppered kisses on your neck, marking you for the world to see. “Tell me now. Because if you don’t, I can’t stop myself anymore, angel..”

You felt his hand on your bare breast, your bra not standing a chance against the man in front of you. His thumb brushed over your nipple repeatedly, earning him a moan you could not stop.

“Do you want this, angel? Do you want me?” He whispered hotly, his eyes now trained on your eyes with seriousness and lust. And you could only nod.

You didn’t know how, but he managed to carry you to your bed. If he noticed your belongings in boxes, he didn’t say a thing. You would be moving, yes. But it wouldn’t be abroad where it was fucking far from him. No. You would be moving in with him.

He moved fast; your clothes were gone while he was still fully clothed. He spread your legs unceremoniously, hooking them over his shoulders, and then his sinful tongue thrust inside of you. Hoseok never gave you the chance to keep up with his ministrations, you had no choice but to moan and fall apart. And even when you did, by heavens he did not stop. His hold on your thighs were tight, fingers digging on your skin as your thighs shook with endless pleasure he was giving you.

You were begging at this point, but you didn’t know if it was for him to stop or to go on. The third time you came, he crawled to you, his lips and chin glistening with your essence. He showered you with praises about how good you were to him, how heavenly you tasted…how you were his. This time, he did not ask. He knew you were his.

You didn’t know when you passed out. Was it the second time he made you come with his cock? Was it because of the dizzying pleasure he managed to pull out of you? Was it because of his sweet, little promises about possessing you completely? Was it his promises that he’d take care of everything?

You didn’t know.

Hoseok watched you as you slept beside him, his body momentarily sated as he looked at his angel. He admired the marks on your neck, admired the bruises on your thighs. He smiled to himself as he brushed your hair away from your face. How could you think of leaving him when it was this good, he thought.

But never mind that.

You wouldn’t leave. His phone dinged from an email, and he smirked evilly as he read that the person he recommended for the job you had previously accepted was successful. The fashion company replaced you willingly with Hoseok’s promise that he would model one of their collections. You would be sad, though. But that was fine. He did this for you. He did this so the two of you would grow even closer. You shouldn’t worry, though. Hoseok thought of everything. A month from now, you would start your work with a fashion company. But this time, it as in Korea where he could see you, where he could keep you.

See, anyone was replaceable. But to him, you weren’t. You were the only one.

#jung hoseok fic #jung hoseok smut #hoseok x reader #hoseok x you #hoseok x y/n #yandere jung hoseok #yandere j-hope #yandere hobi #bts fic #bts yandere #hobi x reader #hobi x you

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sailoryooons · 3 months

Text

Spider Web | JHS | (m)

☾ Pairing: Vampire!Hoseok x human!reader (afab)

☾ Summary: Playing games with vampires is a bad idea. Playing with Spiders is worse.

☾ Word Count: 1,976

☾ Genre: Supernatural, Predator/Prey, Established Relationship, Smut

☾ Rating: 18+ Minors are strictly prohibited from engaging and reading this content. It contains explicit content and any minors discovered reading or engaging with this work will be blocked immediately.

☾ Warnings: Predator/prey dynamics, intense feelings of fear, reader is navigating a maze while unable to see at all, Hoseok taunting reader, minor injuries, explicit language, explicit sexual content including vaginal fingering, biting, dom/sub dynamics, subspace, feeling fear during sex, reader being both afraid and aroused and just going with it, implied relationship of some manner.

☾ Published: Monday, January 15, 2024

☾ A/N: This might not be for everyone, but this is for me. This is not only self-indulgent but it was so fun to write. The third roll for the 100 Drabble Challenge was number 46 - Predator/Prey and I had the opportunity to do something that surprised me - write a piece of a universe that I’ve wanted to write since I was in middle school. You heard that right - I have an entire outline/idea of a dystopian vampire novel where vampires rule and humans live under them with a complex political structure and rebel human groups and class war etc. that I have wanted to write since middle school and when I rolled this tonight… I was like what if I just use that world. In that world there are vampire guards call The Web that are broken up into three categories: Spiders, Widows and Venoms and they all have different purposes. In this case, Hobi is a Spider :) I’ve considered turning it into a fic so… let me know if you’re interested odigjdoigjdofgij

A/N 2: This is unedited and I wrote it in roughly an hour pls excuse the errors etc. I will look back over it in the morning and fix them okay soifjsoigj

☾ Disclaimer: All members of BTS are faces and name claims for this story. This is entirely a work of fiction and by no means is meant to be a projection, judgment or representation of real-life people. Any scenarios or representations of the people and places mentioned in works are not representative of real-life scenarios.

Main Masterlist ☾ 100 Drabble Masterlist ☾ Ask ☾

“The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout,” a voice echoes. Your heart slams in your chest as you press your fingers against the sides of the wall, trying to feel your way through the maze. “Down came the rain and washed the spider out.”

You should be used to the dark. Your life has revolved around the dark from the moment you took your first breath. Born in the dead of night during the hour of the predator. As a kid, you didn’t quite understand the hour of the predator. All you knew was that it meant to stay inside and not leave the building no matter what.

When you were older, you learned that walls and locks do not keep out predators. The notion that they keep their hunt to a single hour of the night is ridiculous. Now you know that vampires only let people think that they’re safe outside of that single hour of every night.

Like everything in the city, it is an illusion.

Inhaling shakily, you try to calm your breathing. The thud of your pulse in your neck and the rattling of your heart in your ribcage is a dead giveaway to this predator. Fear puts you on a razor's edge. A tingling sensation skitters along your skin like static as you keep one hand against the wall and the other in front of you, each step careful.

You can’t see in the darkness of the maze. He can.

The disadvantage isn’t far. He’s better than you at most things: sight, smell, speed, strength - sadism, to be sure. But still, you’ve managed to evade him for far longer than he would like, and despite his taunting, you know it’s irritating him.

You smile. For vampires, most things are prey. For Spiders, all things are.

“Perhaps we should change the lyrics of the song,” Hoseok calls. The hair on the back of your neck stands up. He sounds only a few rows over, making you quicken your steps. You’re barefoot and the ground is cold, making you shiver as you go. “The Spider doesn’t get washed out, but the little human does.”

The hand reaching in front of you hits the wall. You inhale and turn left, letting your right hand skim the corner and press against the new wall. You’ve hit a dead end twice and lost your sense of direction, but Hoseok hasn’t caught up yet.

The thought makes you grin. You’re better at these games than you used to be, and you’re able to make faster decisions now. You also have managed to learn a thing or two about vampires. Somewhere, your socks and shoes are sitting in other corners. You’ve also dropped a jacket, making the entire maze smell like you.

“Ah, the mouse has left a shoe for me.”

Your heart beats faster. You only dropped that shoe moments ago, which means Hoseok is close. Too close. You’re not even sure what will happen if he wins - it’s always different.

“I hear your heart, Mouse.”

The momentary panic makes you walk into a wall, banging loudly. Hoseok laugh is carried down a maze hall, chilling your spine. You throat caution to the wind, breaking into a run though you cannot see anything around you.

In the dark, colors and shapes taunt you, your imagination filling in the gaps for the things you cannot see. Running wild totally unable to see is a terrible idea, you could run into-

You slam into a wall and let out a pained sound. Pain shoots up your wrist and you whimper, cradling it to your hand. A hiss echoes behind you and you run again, bad hand tucked to your chest as Hoseok closes in.

“Yes!” he growls, glee in his dark voice. “Run, Mouse! I love it when you run!”

You hardly recognize his voice through the growl, bloodlust taking over. Your instincts perceive a wall and you jerk to the left, skidding as you go. A speck of light beckons you and you gasp, realizing you can see the way out of the maze. You never make it that far.

Without hesitation, you take off at a full sprint, the soles of your feet slapping against concrete, your heart pumping in your chest. Just a little further, almost there.

Hoseok snarls behind you and you scream, a primal fear exploding inside of you as your instincts sense the danger behind you, all other thoughts and feelings blotted out by the sheer force of terror.

A force crashes into you, taking you down. You squeeze your eyes shut, jarred and waiting for the harsh impact of the concrete. It doesn’t come, instead softened by the blow of falling into Hoseok as he twists, taking the brunt of the impact.

You’re dizzy, world spinning as the adrenaline tingles in your veins, your entire body feeling like it’s on pins and needles. In the dim light of the concrete building, you make out the shape of Hoseok under you. It doesn’t last long, the vampire rolling and pinning you with an ironclad grip to the floor.

A cry slips out of your mouth before you can stop it. It riles him up, Hoseok pressing in on you. He smells like rosewood and lavender, making your eyes flutter as Hoseok pulls your head backward against the old concrete, your skull digging in painfully as he noses your pulse.

“You lose, Mouse.”

Hoseok’s voice rasps against your throat. Fear-laced pleasure blooms in your stomach. Where his mouth ghosts against your sweaty skin feels good, his words buzzing through you as his lips skim your neck toward your jaw.

You don’t dare move - can’t move. This is the part that you don’t understand, but don’t have to. Your body thrums with the innate terror of death. Adrenaline pumps through your system, parts of your brain screaming and alerting your organs that you’re in danger.

But there’s another part of your brain that goes fuzzy when you feel Hoseok’s fangs drag against your jaw. You can’t make out his features in the barely-there light of the building, but you catch the silver flash of predator's eyes when he glances up at you.

Once upon a time that gaze made you nearly soil yourself in horror. Now the wetness between your legs is entirely different, caused by the hell your nervous system goes through as it straddles fear and desire.

“I smell you,” Hoseok breathes. His tongue snakes out to taste your salty skin and you can’t help the sound that comes out of your throat. It is equal parts a whimper as it is a moan. His lips are pressed against your cheekbone as one of his hands skims down your body. “You almost made it out this time.”

The ability to verbalize anything is lost on you. You can only squirm underneath his touch, sparking to life like cut livewires. A violent shiver wracks through your body as Hoseok presses his hands between your legs, causing a pulse of want to unfurl.

You want more. You want none of it. You want both.

“Next time try dropping your panties,” he whispers, pressing hard, painful kisses toward your ear. He bites your earlobe sharply at the same time he presses your clothed cunt, plain and pleasure dancing together. “That would certainly do it.”

“Never thought of that.”

Hoseok’s hand ventures up and grabs the waistband of your pants, pulling on them with a loud rip. It’s almost drowned out by the sound of your heartbeat in your ears.

Your limbs start to shake in excitement as Hoseok catches your mouth with his. The kiss is sudden and demanding, completely inescapable. You kiss him back, drowning in the flurry of sensations hammering down on you, scrambling your thoughts, destroying your feelings.

It’s always like this. He’s always able to do this. Hoseok has made an art of building you up and cutting you open, scattering every thought to the wind as he hunts you and beds you. Here with him you might not be safe, but at least you don’t think about being out there and being unsafe.

This spider web you weave with Hoseok is high stakes, high reward. At least here if he kills you, you’ll be smiling. Out there when you die, no one will care.

Hoseok’s fingers hook your underwear to the side and pull. Cold air hits your hot, weeping hunt and you wiggle under him, trapped under his oppressive weight. He half growls, half purs as his fingers swipe up your sticky folds, avoiding your clit where all the pressure feels trapped.

You kick your feet under him, pressing up. You want more. Need more. The more he gives you, the more you feel the high of whatever this is between you. Hoseok knows this and gives in, playing nice as his fingers dip into your clenching hole to collect wetness before drifting back up, circling your clit.

A sound that is barely human escapes you. Hoseok has you pinned firmly underneath him as he starts to play. He carefully drags his fingers up and down, tracing your tightening entrance before drifting back up to apply pressure on your bundle of nerves.

“Little mouse is desperate tonight,” Hoseok pants. When he speaks, you can feel the sharp drag of his fangs on your cheek. “I bet you wanted to be caught.”

You shake your head no and he laughs, sinking a finger into your waiting heat. A strangled moan escapes you. Everything is on fire and you feel your cunt clench around his fingers. The concrete beneath you is too hot, Hoseok is too firm, his fangs on your skin are too sharp, you’re half afraid and half aroused - it all turns you into a mess, your mind tiptoeing on the edge of a blade between two nameless abysses.

Hoseok thrusts his fingers up into you at an angle, pushing against that spot that makes you teeter dangerously. Your nails dig into your palms, leaving bloody crescents as Hoseok fucks you expertly with his fingers, drawing you to the edge of madness as he does it.

Just as you think you’re about to tip one way or the other and plunge into darkness, Hoseok presses his mouth against yours, words slurred as he mumbles, “Ask.”

“Please.” Your words are slurred against his mouth, your breath hot and sticky. “Please let me. I need it. I - Hoseok - please.”

His pace quickens. His thumb presses on your clit, wiggling. You feel it coming like a spool spinning thread, going and going and going until the spindle snaps and the thread comes unwound, spilling into his hand with a scream.

Your ears ring. Your mind blanks. Your body goes so taught that it's only option is to go limp. You are vaguely aware that you’re gasping for air - you feel it more than you see it. You melt into the ground, unaware of anything but the static in your veins and the rush of air through your lungs.

In out. In out. In out. In out.

You drift in the abyss. You’re unsure which one you fell into. Here, you are weightless and calm.

In out. In out. In out.

Nothing can hurt you here. There is no such thing as pain. There is only absolutely nothing but your breath and the buzzing on your skin.

In out. In out. In out.

Eventually it wears off. Hoseok is still a firm weight against you, an anchor pulling you back. Your thoughts are syrup-slow and dizzy when you lift your too-heavy head to look at him. You cannot make out his features, but you get the sense he’s smiling.

“Did you think we were done?” he rasps, a laugh in his voice. “You’ve only just fallen into the spiderweb, Mouse.”

#hobi smut #hoseok smut #j hope smut #bts smut #hobi fic #hobi fanfic #hoseok fic #hobi x reader #hoseok x reader #vampire hobi #bts fanfic #hoseok x you #100 drabble challenge #okay but like trying to do j hope hobi hoseok tags is wild please why must i name him thrice

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rmsrkive · 10 months

Text

unconditionally — jung hoseok (teaser)

summary: for the past three, almost four years, it has only been you and your twins after having been abandoned by your ex-boyfriend. you expected it to remain that way for the rest of your lives until one day you accidentally run into one of his bandmates at the park

pairings: ex-boyfriend/baby daddy!hoseok x f. reader

genre: exes to lovers

warnings: none

word count: 711

taglist: lmk if you want to be added!

author's note: say hello to my first solo member fic! our beloved hoseok will be the first one to have his own fic and this will be between 3-5 chapters. i'm not sure when this fic will be uploaded but i'm currently working on the first chapter. there will be lots of angst and many of you will be angry at hobi so grab your tissues and mentally prepare yourself for a nasty relationship between oc and hobi :)

masterlist

"Y/N?" His voice was small, reminding you of Jaehee when you scolded her for doing something she wasn't supposed to.

"Hi, Jungkook."

Your voice was merely a whisper, fearing you would burst into tears if you spoke louder. You forced yourself to push down the lump that formed in your throat since you knew that you couldn't afford to break into tears with the twins in front of you. Maybe if you were alone, you would allow yourself to shed a few tears but you couldn't right now.

"Is that really you, noona?" Jungkook asked.

That damn honorific; you always found it weird being addressed as noona by other guys but it was endearing when it came from Jungkook and hearing him call you noona made you wonder if he still saw you the same way he did when he was friends.

"It really is me." You laughed, tears burning your eyes as you watched Jungkook's eyes flash with all kinds of emotions.

He crouched down in front of you, reaching his hand out to wipe the tear that fell down your face. You flinched, jerking your head away from him before he could touch you, wiping away the tear yourself. Your stomach twisted as his face dropped in hurt, gulping when he bit down on his lip and quickly retracted his hand.

"Where have you been, noona?" Jungkook asked.

"I've always been here, Kook. I just made sure to stay out of your way." You responded, uncaring how harsh the truth was.

He glanced over at the twins, who were still occupied with Bam. The Doberman had taken it upon himself to curl up on the picnic blanket, content with the way Jaehee and Jaeyoung were petting him. Jungkook smiled at the sight for a split second before it dropped as quickly as it appeared.

"Is it because of—"

"Yup."

A heavy silence fell between the two of you. You didn't want to be so rude to Jungkook after seeing him for the first time in four years but you couldn't help but be angry that he was acting as if he didn't dump you on the side of the road after your breakup with Hoseok. He had been one of the people who accused you of cheating and his mere presence was close to sending you into a fit of tears.

"Does hyung know?" Jungkook's tone was cautionary, almost as if he was afraid to ask you.

"No. He blocked me after I sent the first ultrasound pictures that the doctor gave me. He doesn't even know that I have twins." You replied blankly.

Jungkook never experienced being stabbed by someone but with your blunt words and harsh tone, he felt as if you had attempted to stab him countless times. He always knew in the back of his mind that he shouldn't expect you to be kind in the instance that he saw you again but talking to you in real-time made it hurt all the more. And he knew that he had no right to be hurt when he contributed to all of the pain you felt over the last four years since the breakup.

"Oh."

You got up onto your knees and began packing the picnic basket. Jungkook watched helplessly as you quickly placed your containers and bottles in the basket, almost as if you were rushing to get away from him. "Time to go home, say bye-bye to Bam."

Jaehee waved at Bam as you picked her up in one arm, holding the basket with the same hand. You grabbed Jaeyoung's hand, grateful that neither of the twins was putting up a fight, and instead found interest in the dandelions that had turned white.

"Y/N—"

"I have to go home, the twins need to take a nap before it's too late in the afternoon. It was nice seeing you again, Jungkook."

Without another word, you headed towards the parking lot beside the car, leaving Jungkook with no choice but to watch you disappear again. He swallowed the lump in his throat, unable to tear his eyes away even after you placed the twins in their car seats and drove out of the parking lot.

"It was nice seeing you too, noona."

#jung hoseok #jhope #j hope #bts jhope #jhope fic #hoseok fic #hoseok x reader #hoseok angst #hoseok fluff #bts fic #unconditionally #unconditionally teaser

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hyungieyoongi · 1 year

Text

Things They Do After You Get Engaged – Hyung Line

Pairing: Hyung Line x Reader (not poly)

Genre: Fluff (like extremely fluffy fluff)

Word Count: 1.0K

A/N: hyung line forever

Jin

“Jin, not again,” you whispered in panic to your fiancé, looking around at the many pairs of eyes staring at you in the park. You gave a soft smile to an elderly woman who was holding a hand to her heart, watching the two of you with fond eyes.

“Y/N, you are the love of my life. I am so lucky to call you mine. Will you be my wife? Marry me?” Jin asked, holding onto your left hand. He raised it to his lips, giving you a wink as he placed a gentle kiss to the back of it. Your cheeks flushed pink at his actions, shaking your head at your ridiculous life partner with affection.

“Yes, of course I will,” you said, letting out a sigh as the bystanders surrounding the two of you broke out into light applause. Jin smiled at you, standing up as he took you in his arms.

“Sweetheart, you can’t propose every time we are out in public,” you murmured into his chest, recovering from the slight embarrassment you felt as a result of Jin’s public display of affection.

“But then how will people know how much I love you?” Jin asked seriously, pulling back to look at you. You held up your left hand, the diamond glinting in the sunshine.

“I think that was the whole point of this,” you said. “Remember how you gave it to me the first time you proposed?”

“Ah yes, well, I just like reliving my favorite moment,” Jin said, taking your hand in his and entwining your fingers so you could carry on with your walk.

“Is this going to stop any time soon?” you asked.

“Hmm, I’m not sure, want me to ask again?”

“You’re insufferable,” you groaned.

“Good thing you love me anyway,” Jin said, wrapping his arm snuggly around you.

“Aren’t you lucky,” you teased.

“Yes, yes, I am.”

Yoongi

“What are you doing?” Yoongi asked, glancing over at you with a confused expression behind his glasses.

You were frantically searching for your engagement ring underneath the kitchen table, hoping the sixth place you looked would finally be successful. You placed the ring in the same place every night before bed; this morning, it wasn’t there.

“Yoongi, get over here and come help me,” you said, frantically sweeping the wood floor with your eyes trying to spot a glimpse of the silver band.

“Babe, slow down, what’s wrong?” Yoongi asked, standing in front of you, hands on your shoulders to force you to stop your manic search efforts.

“I can’t find it,” you wailed, starting to break down from frustration. “My engagement ring—it’s gone!”

Much to your surprise, Yoongi chuckled.

“What could possibly be funny at a time like this?” you nearly shouted, stepping away from him in shock. Yoongi stopped laughing at your response, but a smirk still played at his lips.

“Y/N, I took it to the jeweler to get cleaned today. I’ll pick it up tomorrow morning on my way to the studio,” Yoongi shrugged nonchalantly. Your jaw dropped open slightly in shock, relief flooding your system as you realized it was in safe hands.

“Yoongi, I swear to God, if you ever do that again without telling me,” you threatened, stepping toward him with finger extended menacingly toward him. Yoongi held his hands up, acting innocent.

“Hey, I was just trying to be nice! I know it makes you happy when your ring sparkles.”

“If you weren’t so sweet, I’d throttle you right now,” you grumbled. Yoongi looked at you with pride.

“And that, ladies and gentlemen, is my future wife.”

Hoseok

This morning, it was a bright pink sticky note.

Good morning, sunshine, have a great day at work!

Yesterday, it was green.

Hello, my love, miss you already! See you at dinner!

Since the two of you got engaged, you had gotten used to occasionally seeing a neon sticky note on your dresser in the morning as you got ready for the day. Your engagement ring was always sitting next to the note, lid of the black, velvet box open to show off the beautiful diamond.

The first time it happened, you asked Hoseok about it while the two of you cuddled on the couch later that evening.

“I just want to make you smile every morning, even on the days I have to leave earlier than you for work, and I don’t get to see you,” Hoseok explained, lips pressing a kiss to the top of your head as he continued to watch the show the two of you had started. Only your fiancé could manage to say one of the most romantic things you had ever heard sound so nonchalant.

You placed the ring on your finger, admiring it for a moment. You added the sticky note to your collection of them at the bottom drawer of your jewelry box before taking out your phone to text Hobi.

Thank you for making me smile, I love you.

Namjoon

You lifted the covers gently, trying not to wake your fiancé sleeping soundly next to you. You scooted under the duvet, a content sigh leaving your lips as your head finally hit the pillow. You were up late working on a project for work, Namjoon long having gone to bed before you finished for the night.

You reached over his sleeping form to turn off his bedside lamp that he had left on. As you reached the switch, you felt Namjoon shift slightly, making you freeze.

“Love? You finally coming to bed?” Namjoon asked, his voice muffled and rough from sleep.

“Yes, go back to sleep,” you whispered, successfully turning the switch, engulfing the room in darkness.

Namjoon turned around to face you after you laid back down, eyes still closed. He reached for your left hand, bringing it up to his lips to place a kiss on the empty ring finger where your engagement ring sits throughout the day—it was a habit that Namjoon had started after the two of you became engaged a few months ago. When you took your ring off at the end of the day and the two of you went to bed, Namjoon would take your hand in his, kissing the ring finger that symbolized your future together. It never failed to make your heart flutter.

“Goodnight, Joonie,” you whispered.

“Goodnight, my love.”

---

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giddyfatherchris · 3 months

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Bunny threat

Pairing: bts x gn!reader (platonic)

Genre: crack? comedy? all good stuff haha

Warnings: None

Word count: 820

Requests: Open for stray kids and bts!

A/n: okay so funny thing. I wrote this a billion years ago, and forgot it existed (tbh i also forgot i had this account lol). Since i want to bring this page back to life i thought i could update the original version (and correct some grammar mistakes lol) and bring it back as my first official post. So here we go! I hope you like it :))

*gif is not mine

“Stop practicing and come eat!” shouted Jin for the fifth time.

You were all at the studio rehearsing a few new choreos for an upcoming performance. It was now 8:00 pm, and the delivery guy just came in with his precious cargo. As soon as the good smell of the local Korean meals filtered into the room, your seven friends instantly stopped what they were doing to rush on the food like starved men.

“Y/N! Come before Taehyung eats everything!” urged Yoongi. You faintly heard him scold his younger brother, as he was probably trying to steal said food.

“Won’t be long. Just let me get this last move right!”

Still in the dance studio part of the room, you just couldn’t be satisfied with the execution of a certain move. It wasn’t precise enough, and you couldn’t eat without having this part right. It would be a defining moment in this new choreo you created for the boys, so you had to get it right.

Minutes passed, bowls emptied themselves, and you still hadn’t eaten anything.

“Y/N, stop it now. Too much is like not enough!” advised Joon with his father-like tone. His concern and the smell of the delicious food almost made you stop, but you took a deep breath to focus and went back to dancing without a word.

“Tae has gotten to the bowl of samgyeopsal!” tried J-Hope to make you rush in to get your hands on your favorite dish.

“Mmmmmm, SO GOOD!” added the boy while making huge slurping sounds, though you weren’t sure if those disgusted you more than they made you envy him.

They sat still, waiting to see if you would stop your tireless rehearsing, but you were so intent on doing it perfectly that it felt like they didn’t even exist.

“They really won’t come to eat.” pouted Jimin while he looked at Namjoon with the saddest puppy eyes.

“Makes me think of someone,” mumbled Yoongi, not without earning an annoyed sigh from the talented dancer.

“Alright, Jungkook, I think we need to take drastic measures.” sighed Joonie, already wincing at the idea of your reaction.

The youngest boy simply nodded, finished his bite, and headed out of the little room without saying a word. The other boys stared at the door, waiting for what was coming. It started with the music stopping abruptly, then you whining, “Oh please, one last time! I was starting to get it. AH JUNGKOOK LET ME DOWN! JEON JEONGGUK!” Some laughed, but they all winced when you started screaming like a lunatic. Jungkook entered the room with you thrown over his shoulder, screaming and whacking his back. He dropped you on a chair and went to his plate with the most unbothered expression. You opened your mouth to start whining again, but Jimin and Tae were faster and stopped you by dropping a steaming portion on your plate.

“Eat. You don’t want to overwork yourself, don’t you?” encouraged Jimin with a caring look. You reluctantly looked at the bowl he nudged in front of you.

“And if you faint, you will forget all the progress you have made, and you will be back to step one,” mocked Yoongi with his nose still in his plate. You rolled your eyes at his remark but still felt a pang of stress from the thought.

“Funny, but seriously," You started getting up. "One more time, and I’ll-”

You were cut short by a pretty mad Jungkook as he reached for your wrist across the table.

“If you get up one more time before you’ve eaten all of this goddamn plate. I will tie you down to this chair and feed you each bite until you’re done, and I won’t be gentle this time.”

He uttered his threat in a growl, and just at the thought you gave up, suddenly plopping down on your chair. Once he felt your body relaxing he let go of your hand, still looking at you, then at the bowl until you ate four big spoonfuls of the dish. Only then did he focus again on his own, going back to being the cute little bunny he was. All the other members stared silently at you guys, too shocked to say a word. Until they exploded in laughter, you and Jungkook quickly joining in. The bantering followed right after, the atmosphere finally lightening up.

“Don’t be upset Y/N. We just want you to be okay and healthy, but don’t worry we'll help you with the choreo,” assured Jimin as he stood up, finished with his plate, and encouraged you to follow through.

“Thank you, but… I still have some food left, and I don’t want Jungkook to put his threat into execution.”

They all laughed at your comment as the brown-eyed boy on the other side of the table shot you a huge bunny-like smile.

#bts x reader #namjoon x reader #yoongi x reader #j hope x reader #jin x reader #jimin x reader #taehying x reader #jungkook x reader #bts #bts imagines #bts fluff #bts comfort #bts fic #bts scenarios #ilya writes

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desertduality · 2 months

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Just posted Chapter Eight of Ad Astra :D

“One more thing before you go,” Grian continues, and for some reason looks dead inside. “Do the Zombie Dance.” An awkward burst of laughter escapes him at the sheer strangeness of it. “You want me to— What?” Scar asks, still giggling. “What’s the Zombie Dance?” “You know what it is,” Grian grumbles. “The Zombie Dance.”

#finally done!! applause was heard throughout the lands /j #hope you like it <33 #feel free to yell at me about it :D either here or on ao3 #goodtimeswithscar #fic update #gtws

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seokjinsonlyone · 1 year

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this how i think bts would be if you both knew you liked each other but you weren’t dating yet

a/n: you guys been looking forward to this one hope it lives up to your expectations 🥹👉👈 and you should like totally lemme know what you thought about it after you're done

namjoon:

calls you on the phone every night; asks about your day and genuinely wants to know every little detail no matter how insignificant; gets shy when you ask about his

always extends an invite to you to join him at a museum; he goes to so many so often so he understands if you can’t go every time but he really likes it when you can go; likes hearing your thoughts on different pieces no matter how ridiculous bc you’re really not that well versed in art and architecture; he also likes the look in your eye and how intently you listen to him when he actually explains the intent behind the art

wraps his arms all the way around you, completely engulfing you when you hug; gives you an extra squeeze and rubs circles on your lower back before letting go

pet names start slipping out willy nilly; beautiful, princess, pretty girl, lovely; like the more and longer he likes you the less your name come out his mouth

he got mad rizz dog; like everyone once in a while he's gonna hit you with a pick up line that catches you off guard; gon have you giggling and blushing; but he also will be giggling and blushing afterward bc he gets shy after being cute

lowkey wants your approval for everything; doesn’t NEED it but he’d like it tho for sure; like would let you listen to his unreleased music and wait with bated breath while you listened until you gushed about how good it all was

if someone came up to him while y’all were hanging out and started flirting with him he would not notice at all; you’d wait until he was done carrying on the conversation and (semi)jokingly be like “so when’s the date” and he’d be soooo confused; “huh?” “they were totally flirting with you!” “really?” “if they smiled any harder they cheeks would’ve split open and did you see how hard they were laughing? you not that funny joon 🙄” “i’m sorry i didn’t notice. i promise i wasn’t flirting back tho. the only person i wanna flirt with is you.”

seokjin:

turns red whenever you’re around; like just constantly feels called out even if no one said anything bc it’s like he knows how he feels, all his friends know how he feels, and most importantly you know how he feels; embarazzing

becomes your local fruit dealer; like whenever his family or friends give him a bunch of produce from their various farms you’re definitely on the list of people he gifts them too; he gives you a bigger share than his members too <3

sends you pictures of the food he cooks and always saves you a plate after hearing you talk about how good it looks

asks for your switch code and invites you to play games with him whenever he has down time; like will stay up to 4am playing mario strikers or nintendo switch sports with you

gets really good at origami bc one time you met up and he felt awkward not having anything to get you so he used the gum wrapper in his pocket to make you a paper airplane; now every time you meet up he has a new paper sculpture; like you end up with a whole drawer of paper hats, planes, cups, flowers, frogs, ninja stars; has a cute little message written inside that makes you smile each time you unfold them

overly helpful; like he tryna do whatever he can for you; he’s holding your bag, opening doors for you, at one point he even goes so far as to lay his jacket on the bench y’all sitting on so your butt won’t be cold 💀

his number one goal when y’all are around each other is to make you laugh; like it doesn’t really matter if you’re laughing with him or at him as long as he hears that cackle he considers the interaction a success

yoongi:

not used to initiating any kind of interaction (outside of work) with people so he just lingers around you and hopes something happens; takes you a while to realize that’s his way of asking for attention

pretty much willing to go along with whatever to make you happy; like if you were complaining about never having anyone to go to the store with he’d offer himself up so fast and that’s how you’d end up with him in ulta helping you pick out lashes

has to get scolded by seokjin repeatedly bc the one text he sent him in the past month was left on read but he replies to you almost immediately every time you message him

silently takes care of you; like if you were eating together and got choked up on something he's just gonna get up and get you a bottle of water then slide it over without ever looking you in the eye; or if you complained about your hands being cold he'd start carrying around those hand warmer pouch thingies waiting for the next time you said something then he'd just put them in your pocket

starts opening up to you 🥺

it may not last for long but when you’re speaking with him he’ll look directly into your eyes

his hands flinch a lot when you're around; sometimes he's just hit with the inexplicable urge to hold your hand or touch you in some sort of way but he hasn't quite figured out y'all's dynamic yet so he's afraid to go for it

hoseok:

becomes zendayafied; like if you think it’s bad with jimin… you ain’t seen the worst of it; you might as well be richard pryor at the apollo the way he be cracking up over any and every little thing you do; his laugh can be heard halfway across the world

he stalks your ig page and replies to all your stories with a series of emojis; shows them to his friends and goes on and on about how cute you are

sends you a bouquet of flowers and texts you a little later on asking if you got them so you send him a picture of you holding them and he responds “☹️ i was hoping you’d be in the pic but all i see are flowers”

notices the little things about you; like he’s the type to compliment your earrings or your nail color

thinks everything you do is like super great; like if you drew a little doodle on a post it note or something he's gonna keep it and in his phone case; like 100% the type to actually display a painting you did in his house even if you feel like it looks like an 8 year old did it

has a special hyper focus on you; i just imagine y'all being at a party and you're in a group and he's being hobi ya know chopping it up with everyone kekeing and the like and you could be there next to him but not really actively participating in the conversation but if you tried to slip away to like get a drink or whatever he would grab your wrist and licherally stop mid sentence to ask you where you were going; would leave the group to go do whatever you wanted to do as well

adds a bunch of heart emojis to your contact in his phone; [yn ❤️😍💜🥰💞😘💖🤩💓😚💘]

jimin:

buys you a scarf when it gets chilly bc he notices you never have one on and he doesn’t want you to catch a cold; personally wraps it around your neck himself before you go outside

perpetual flirt; like there's some kind of innuendo to everything he says to you

is able to pick up on your moods scary easily so he knows when you’re a bit off and lets you know he’s willing to listen if u wanna talk; whether you choose to take him up on his offer or not he gives a really big, tight, long hug which helps you out more than you’re willing to admit

is easily flustered by you; like if you told him you liked his hair or his sweater or something he's gonna do that thing he does where he looks down, smiles, and then hides his face

always trying to impress you; like if you told him you admired people who were good at art he finna brush up on his skills a little and then next time you see him he gon have a sketch pad in fron t of him doing some crazy doodles; or if you told him you liked his voice when you're around he'll be acting like he's being nonchalant playing it cool but be putting in mad effort humming one of your favorite songs adding in some jazmine sullivan type runs

tries to meet up with you as much as possible; like your presence is addicting to him and he wants to take in all that he can; definitely calls you at some point if he can't see you that day even if it's like 1am and you're definitely asleep he's gonna chance it and call you; "are you awake?" "no" "oh i'm sorry i'm sorry i just missed you today" "missed you too mini" "i bet you looked pretty" "thank you but you have to let me get back to sleep" "alright alright imma let you go but one more question" "what's up?" *starts giggling* "what are you wearing right now?😏" "😐 i'm hanging up" *giggles even harder* "okay okay i'm done i'm sorry for waking you sleep tight beautiful" "night mini"; and then he's awake for another hour and a half staring at the ceiling with a big smile on his face thinking about how much he likes you

always walks you to your door when he's dropping you off home and won't leave until you inside with the door closed even if you insist on seeing him off as well so you just gotta watch him walk off from the window

taehyung:

gets shy after complimenting you; the “you look really pretty today” to tata mic face pipeline is strong

goes out of his way to find out when you'll be at certain places and then acts like it's a coincidence when y'all run into each other

feels all tingly inside when you like something he recommended; like if he recommended you a song and you listened to it later and then texted him about how much you loved it you would not be able to wipe the grin off his face

he fishes for compliments from you; like will get all dolled up in his 3 piece suit, hair slicked back just bc he knows you’ll be around and wants you to tell him he looks nice; if you don’t initiate it he will; will stand next to you and be like “ahh i just felt like wearing this today, it’s my favorite one. i think it looks nice. doesn’t it?”

squishes your cheeks between his hands when he deems you as being too cute

takes an active interest in your interests; like if you were really into some group and you told him about it he'd go and listen to their songs and send you his favorites and if they ever toured he's definitely getting y'all tickets to their show; or if you really liked to do paper mache or something he's gonna set aside a day for you to show him how to do it

has his arm around the back of your chair when y’all sit next to each other bc he can’t work up the nerve to actually put his arm around you

jungkook:

walks so close to you that your hand bumps together with every step; takes about five minutes of contemplation and hand flinching before he takes your hand in his; probably puts your conjoined hands in his pocket; looks down at you for about five seconds to gauge your reaction but quickly looks away when you make eye contact; tips of his ears are red the whole time

invites you over to play with his dogs, literally; no funny business is happening; he can’t be with you like that when he likes you as much as he does not until y’all are official just so he has confirmation that you’re on the same page

he be staring at you; like whenever you not looking at him he’s looking at you; watching, observing, admiring, mentally cataloguing all your little quirks, stockpiling them for a rainy day (re: waiting for the right time he can jokingly imitate you)

sometimes it feels like it’s one step forward two steps back with him bc every time he reaches what he feels is “the next level” he has to stop and reevaluate his feelings so he gets distant; but when he’s sure of how he feels again he goes back to following behind you like a lil puppy

his crush on you gets fatter whenever y’all are in a group conversation bc you always notice when he’s trying to say something but can’t find the right timing and create an opening for him to speak

always sits next to you; like there could be 10 empty seats in a room and he's always gonna jam himself as close to you as possible even if he doesn't plan on saying anything

y'all would have a couple late night convenience store dates; like y'all would be on the phone at like midnight talking about how you're craving ramen and snacks and next thing you know he's offering to pick you up and then you sitting next to him in da local 7/11 wit a cup ramen, a diet coke, and some sour gummy worms; he'd lightly gasp and go stiff for a second before relaxing a bit if you randomly laid your head on his shoulder after you finished your food complaining about how full and tired you were; would go back and forth with himself over whether he should just wrap his arm around you but ultimately just decides on leaning his head against yours in return

#bts #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #kim namjoon fic #jungkook fanfic #jeon jungkook x reader #namjoon x reader #taehyung fanfic #seokjin fanfiction #kim seokjin x reader #yoongi x y/n #yoongi fanfic #yoongi fluff #hobi fic #j hope fanfic #hoseok x you #jimin fanfic #jimin x reader #kim taehyung x reader

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