#we all know I'm longwinded

[stopscammingartists]

Hi, I'm someone who used to hang out with a certain person who's been implicated in the Floraverse stuff and it's been beyond demoralizing to see a lot of people I've trusted just Nazijacket and call the victims out as KiwiFarms users and this is honestly helping me realize why a lot of them defended a few abusers in the community and label any of these victims as pushing "bad vibes" to their "uwu good vibes only" community.

This blog has been healing to read and I'd like to share a space with like minded people like you who won't tolerate abuse like this.

Are you kink friendly but just hate zoophiles and pedos? I can roll with that if you're still kink friendly as long as we agree that zoophiles, pedos, and Nazis all suck.

I don't care what adults do with informed consent with each other so long as no one is abusing each other. I don't care how 'weird' it might seem, I think people are at their best when they're true to themselves.

On this blog I pretty strictly talk about the abuse Floraverse has inflicted on people and the zoophilia and pedophilia. (Nazi's suck too, but that's a line Flora hasn't ever crossed, so it hasn't come up.)

The topic of kink culture really only ever comes up when it is related to the abuse.

The main examples of this are:

Because Glip let their cat perform oral sex on them, their drawn zoo porn in the past is more then just drawings.

Because Glip has groomed minors so their self-admitted grooming fetish and the fact they wrote an entire arc of their self insert grooming and having sex with a child in pmd-e is more then just drawings and bad writing.

I criticize Samael for forcing a character used in a significant amount of fat fur kink art in undertale because I don't think it's appropriate to force a project to become associated with a kink community if that project wants to be for all ages. Not because I think farfurs are weird or that the kink art of that oc is bad. It's just, you know, there's a time and place for involving fetish material and characters.

I also criticize Samael for commissioning porn of an OC who is a child and not informing the artists that the OC is a child, mainly because I see it as a violation of informed consent.

I criticize Eevee for her game foxflux which is a transformation fetish game. I don't care that it's a TF game, but I don't think it's okay that it's a TF game that she also markets to all ages. Nor do I like the fact Eevee justifies this grooming behavior with "2B has a fat ass and people were okay with that".

That said, I am personally not a fan of shota/loli/cub/feral. But I would rather shoot myself then discuss the ethics of either on this platform. This is for 2 main reasons. 1. It will distract from the main topic of this blog. 2. I am in my late twenties with a full time job.

I am also not involved in any kink culture, and am admittedly pretty ignorant on it. So some times I may phrase things weirdly when the topic does come up.

This is a really longwinded way of saying I consider myself to be kink friendly, and try my best to explicitly come across as such. But sometimes people can miss the points I'm trying to make and perceive it as kink shaming either because they missed the point or because I explained my point poorly because of my own ignorance. I try my best, and I know I'm not perfect, but when I mess up I'm willing to learn.

[emwheezie]

Do you have some fun facts about Enzo to share? Just wanna to know the guy a bit better.

This is Enzo Vincenzo! I've gotten a TON of asks about him, but was waiting to finish some art and work his story/character a bit more before answering! He's a character we thought up in 2014-15ish, but only recently worked in depth on his development. Pre apologies here, I'm longwinded when talking about my characters! (also it is 3:13am and I'm feeling silly)

Enzo is a secondary character in the comic, friend of the main character kind of deal. My cowriter and I love Enzo and are very happy that everyone else seems to like him too! We are making sure to develop all our characters as much as the two main characters so that we can create as rich of a story/universe as possible. (like we have so much content you could pick any random minor character and be like "them. make a spinoff about them" and we could just do that immediately we have so much content my brain is going to explode)

Enzo and Lennon are high school buddies who met sophomore year, shortly before Lennon dropped out. (peep the bottom art of them from their HS years)

Him and Lennon are big into movies. They binge watch them over the weekends or when he's convinced by Lennon to skip classes for the day.

Enzo loves to draw, especially dragons and horror related stuff. He posts his drawings on DeviantArt where he met xXHexiLexi328Xx and fell in love with her. She's also an artist who loves to draw super kawaii anime chibis magical girls and pokemon stuff.

No one thinks Hexi Lexi is a real person. Everyone's like "awh poor Enzo, still single...you'll find someone, buddy." But she's real and from Arkansas. (like that state even exists?)

Enzo loves knives. His favorite one is a switchblade engraved with the name "Colleen." He found Colleen at a Goodwill while he and Lennon were looking for parts to build a "Saw trap." (you know, from the Saw franchise) Enzo thinks he's Billy The Puppet from Saw...I mean, high school Enzo kind of had the same poofy hair and I'm not gonna be the one to tell him he didn't look like that puppet.

Somewhere along the way, early in their friendship, Lennon is convinced Enzo killed his parents. Lennon's never seen Enzo with his parents so I guess that's the only solution, right? It becomes a longstanding rumor/joke... and Lennon's like wow Enzo that's so cool I'm friends with a literal murderer. (Lennon is dumb).

Enzo once wanted to become a priest but then he remembered he was evil.

Enzo is Albanian-Italian and grew up in Cambridge, MA living with his parents and grandparents. His parents are super religious people who work at the restaurant his grandparents own, located in the North End of Boston.

It's a joke that Enzo's like never heard a music once in his life before meeting Lennon who introduced him to guitar. (He's rhythm guitar in Lennon and Tony's band Poison Boy Club)

I feel like I've said a lot of words and stuff. I feel like there's more but it's now 3:40am and my brain is mush. OH later on, Enzo really hones in on his art skills and gets into tattooing, earning himself an internship at a local studio.

Overall, Enzo's a cool, confident dude who's a little scary in a "big guard dog" type of way, but he's a loyal friend and does his own thing and he's with that.

#tw knife #oc #oc lore #artists on tumblr #illustration #original character

[springtime-creations]

Longwinded over-explanation as to why I DON'T think these Wanderful PreCure leaks are real or at the very least not be taken as 100% accurate if they are real.

POTENTIAL SPOILER FOR WANDERFUL PRECURE AHEAD!

As someone who's been into PreCure for almost a decade, and has been studying art in an informal setting (self taught artist go brrr) I've noticed some issues with these leaks.

First is obviously the names. Never in the entire history of PreCure have we had a cure whose name lines up with the title. No Cure Smile in Smile, no Cure Suite in Suite, no Cure Fresh in Fresh- you get my point. Cure Wonderful is a highly suspect name, however could still be real as PreCure is always experimenting. Cure Friendy on the other hand is WAY more egregious. Friendy isn't a word, and PreCure isn't known for making mistakes that bad. But it could have either slipped through the cracks OR as these photos look like prototypes that were meant to be destroyed, it's possible Friendy is a typo and she's meant to be Cure Friend, Cure Friendly, or an idea my phone gave me via autocorrect Cure Trendy. Any of which could fit my theorized theme of dog styling or the latter to with a blanket theme of dogs. But they could also be placeholder names. Fake names used to differentiate the characters before they're ready to start publishing their real names.

Secondly is the design. Although I'm not classically trained (see above for self taught artist go brrr) I have a good grasp on art fundamentals via independent study. I was wondering why the designs looked so off to me, and outside of it looking like it was traced off of Aikatsu, I realized that these silhouettes SUCK. Having a strong silhouette is an important aspect of making an identifiable cartoon character. Case and point, a few previous seasons compared with these leaks:

(Pardon the rough nature of the silhouettes, I had to make my own on my phone) without the details, I have no idea what I'm looking at with these designs. With previous seasons, the silhouettes themselves gave us an idea of the vibes or even themes for the upcoming season. Here though? I mean my crappy silhouette of Cure Wonderful made her pigtails look like a cat sitting on her head when I asked my boyfriend for input. These silhouettes are incredibly weak with their long hair basically ruining their design by hiding their dresses. Fun fact! These are the same issues I had with Colgate-chan- oh sorry Alear from Fire Emblem Engage that made me think those were fake too. The minor details were the only thing that separated them from other characters since their silhouette was awful.

Now weak silhouettes aren't always a crime against art, however for a piece of media that is meant to sell toys, is in animation, and for children? Yeah no you need a strong silhouette for the audience to easily identify. The only reason such a weak silhouette would work in PreCure is because no other Cure has one this bland. You can tell which PreCure is Cure Wonderful because "oh that's the least fun looking one". Since her charm comes from the details you can't see when it's just her silhouette, that means that although they're all still cute, they could have been MUCH cuter, which Toei is typically really good at.

So in conclusion, are these definitely fake? I'm not sure. Given these products were probably taken home without permission from the manufacturer, it's possible these leaks are one of three things.

1. An INCREDIBLY well done fake leak, potentially by Toei themselves since they do that sometimes.

2. Real prototypes made with VERY early drafts of the characters and placeholder names that were intended to be destroyed once the designs/names got updated.

3. This is the real deal and this is going to be a fairly weak season in terms of aesthetic.

I'm personally leaning towards 1 or 2 since PreCure usually has higher standards of production. But hey, this is just my theory regarding these leaks. I know one of my girlfriends loves Cure Friendy, and I'm always here for more green rep in PreCure. I'm still excited for this season even if the aesthetic might be a bit weak. If there's anything I've learnt from PreCure, it's that even the most casual of seasons can get real dark real quick and somehow still work. Didn't Cure Grace literally leave someone to die... idk I haven't been able to watch a full PreCure season since like Go! Princess first came out 😭 fuck I'm getting old-

#wonderful precure leaks #wonderful precure theory #wonderful precure spoiler #wonderful precure #precure 2024 #theory #hyperfixation #over analyzing #art analysis #design analysis #wanderful precure #wanderful precure 2024

[honey68lemon]

Let's talk about denial

You love it, don't you?

It feels great to scroll through tumblr, head empty of logical thought.

It feels great to deny yourself.

I've done it myself. It's nice and it's easy.

It feels so good to deny what you know is really true.

It feels so good, it's so much easier to deny that we might be feeding into anything bad, anything bigger than ourselves.

Before we go on, I want to say I don't blame you, and I sympathise, and we all have desires that we cannot control at all. But I just want to invite a little critical thinking, and share some of my recent thoughts.

I feel like the more we engage with the content on here, the more it becomes normalised to us. That doesn't mean that we don't see the horrors of real life sexual violence or misogyny, but it means that we don't really question ourselves when we come on here for sexual pleasure, and feed into this world.

There are so many places on the internet right now that are encouraging misogynistic views, and young men are being influenced by it. What if this, although supposedly all fantasy, is one of those places? What if the conversations we are having with men are actually reinforcing their bigoted views? Would a man who didn't know any better look at my blog and really assume I don't mean any of it?

I think kink is great. It can be a healthy place to explore things between consenting individuals. It may even be a way of processing trauma. I also think kink can be borne from existing power imbalances in the world.

I enjoy getting off to the content I post. I also think the content I post may truly be harmful.

I am turned on by misogyny. I am also a feminist. And I do not want anyone looking at my blog and having their genuinely misogynistic views reinforced, but I'm concerned that may be the case.

It is only recently that I am properly tackling all of this within myself, and I guess I didn't know where else to share it than the place from which it has all come from.

Feel free to share your thoughts. It would reassure me to know other people do critically evaluate their role in all of this. There is so much more to say but I've tried to keep this from becoming too longwinded of an essay.

Peace and love 😘

#denial

[alltimefail-sims]

I thought what you said about using Granite Falls as part of your Moonwood Mood storytelling was an neat idea. I would be interested to hear more about that!

Sorry it took me a minute to type up the response to this ask; I would absolutely LOVE to expand on this, thank you so much for asking!! I will warn you that this ended up being quite a longwinded explanation of my personal Werewolf world lore, so I'm sorry about that in advance! 🙈😂

Let’s get into it! ↓

I've talked about how I don't treat sim worlds as isolated entities in the past, but I've never gotten deep into that - I'll start there so my Moonwood lore makes sense!

Basically, I see Granite Falls as a location within Moonwood Mill. To go one step further, I actually don't even see Moonwood Mill as its own isolated "world" but rather as a small town within a bigger city within a bigger state within a country and so on. Think of Granite Falls as a large property within Moonwood Mill, and Moonwood Mill as an industrial, dying small town that is within driving distance to its larger city counterpart Evergreen Harbor, and all of these places exist in the same state. For me, the states these worlds are a part of are usually real-life states! Of course not all the worlds feel "American" to me (Selvadorada, Tomorang, Mt. Komerebi being perfect examples) but the ones that do usually get categorized this way in my mind.

For example: San Sequoia and Del Sol Valley are the easiest and most widely accepted representation of this idea. I treat both of these "worlds" as large, neighboring cities that exist within the same state, much like their assumed real-world counterparts Los Angeles and San Francisco which both reside in California. Another example is San Myshuno which I've seen a lot of players think of in the same way they see New York City, which resides in New York State. Moonwood Mill, Granite Falls, and Evergreen Harbor all function this way in my mind and would all share the same state! (I'm not a geography whiz, so I've never given it much though which irl state they would be a part of, but with the greenery, industrial, and dreary/rainy vibes my money would be on Washington or, alternatively, I personally see them being in a state that falls somewhere in the Appalachian area, like West Virginia!)

Okay, that's the long explanation I had to get out of the way before I jump into this next lore part... sorry! I'm getting to the good stuff now though, I promise!

Granite Falls and Moonwood Mill are on an even smaller scale than the San Sequoia/Del Sol Valley relationship, in my opinion. To me, Granite Falls feels like a national park or forest/nature preserve that surrounds Moonwood Mill and therefore ultimately falls under their jurisdiction. HOWEVER, the primary caretakers of Granite Falls are technically an independent commune... better known as "The Moonwood Collective."

I don't think there's enough room in the town center of Moonwood Mill to accommodate two whole wolf packs AND the handful of human locals that remain. Additionally, when you take into consideration the canon growing tension between these two packs and their various different ways of life, I have a hard time seeing them effectively coexisting in such close proximity. Besides that, Modern Moonwood Mill in its broken down, industrial, haphazard state suits the Wildfangs more than The Moonwood Collective - I can see the influence that the Wildfangs have had on the area, but where is The Collective's influence? Even the layout of Moonwood Mill and the lots which are located within walking distance of the rowdy dive bar screams Wildfang energy to me.

We also know that The Collective is much older than the Wildfangs, as it was formed back when Moonwood Mill was just beginning to have settlers and refugees who were fleeing from conflict (the big magical war between spellcasters/vampires/werewolves). Referred to only as "Moonwood" back then due to the area's obvious connection to the moon's energy, the founders of the town established The Collective - in the sims lore, it seems to imply that The Collective is the first pack of its kind to organize werewolves into a hierarchal structure with the goal of encouraging self-sustainability, diplomatic communication, and communal contribution within its wolf members. In my mind, I've always seen The Collective as people who reject societal comforts and embrace naturalism, self-discipline/emotional control, herbalism and holistic medicine practices, minimalist living, homesteading, community caretaking, things of that nature... and there really isn't anywhere in Moonwood Mill specifically that conveys that kind of influence. Granite Falls, however, sure feels magical with its sprawling plantlife and natural oddities... that is a place that could support their lifestyle!

If you look at the maps of these two places, it isn't hard to imagine Granite Falls as the wooded area close to the Moonwood Lunvik Lake, the spot where werewolves can "awaken the wolf" if they swim there during a full moon, because Granite falls is surrounded by various bodies of water AND mountain structures on it's right side... just like the mountain structures and woods that frame Moonwood Mill in the upper left hand of its map! Let me give you two shitty graphics I made to help illustrate what I mean:

It's not a one-for-one perfect comparison, but it's so damn close that it feels natural to see the worlds as complimentary! Especially with The Collective's connection to the ancient spiritualism of the original wolves and mooncasters, it just makes sense that they would opt live in a commune-esque community on the outskirts of Moonwood Mill, as opposed to being right in the epicenter of town. This way they're close to the sacred Lunvik Lake, just far enough outside of society to seclude their true nature, but still close enough to help the remaining human locals. I even have a silly headcanon that the "Big Foot" of Granite Falls is actually just the pack-less werewolf Greg, as we know he lives secluded, deep in the forest...it just makes sense that people might see him raging in wolf form at night and be like "Oh shit, big foot!"

With the Wildfangs being a newer pack that is more open to embracing the wolf parts of themselves, they wouldn't feel the need to "hide" and pull themselves out of society in the way that The Collective does. That being said, they also wouldn't have the resources, structure, and defined communal space that a very old pack like The Collective would have... therefore they're just scattered around Moonwood Mill in their family homes, the trailer park (some people do a motel instead - I can see both working well), and so on. Some lots even tell their buyers to ignore the "howling in the distance," and because the Collective hides their true nature, I feel this must be referring to the Wildfang's full moon antics and their willingness to "embrace the beast."

Either way, It seems to me that The Collective has always believed it best to stay hidden, so it makes sense that they would form their community on the outskirts of Moonwood Mill not just for their own safety, but for the safety of the human locals as well. I think they likely relocated to Granite Falls years before the Wildfangs existed and when a huge uptick in human settlers came in, chasing the riches associated with Moonwood's mines or, more likely, the mills which the town would be eventually named after. But as time went on and the town went to ruin (some people theorize due to the wolves, some people theorize the town's natural industries just became less profitable in the age of technology), people abandoned it and opted to move to the newer city - Evergreen Harbor. (See, we came full circle!)

That kind of leads us to where I'm at in my game, in "modern day." A lot of time has passed, and Moonwood Mill has changed dramatically since its inception. I prefer to imagine that the remaining human locals are not fully aware of the werewolves living among them with 100% certainty, but there are legends and stories. The oldest locals cultivate and pass down not just the stories but the protective practices to their children and grandchildren as well: don't go into the woods on a full moon, if the woods get quiet out of nowhere stay calm and find the closest way out, close all the blinds when it gets dark, don't go out on a full moon, bring the animals in or secure them in the barn for their protection on full moon nights, if you hear a whistle in the woods do not whistle back, and so on. Unfortunately, those stories, wives' tales, and superstitions tend to attract potential enemies to werewolf-kind: rogue vampires seeking to harm werewolves and even occult hunters. HOWEVER, by retreating into the woods, The Collective are closer to what they believe is their spiritual source - Lunvik Lake - where the original mooncasters created werewolves and Myshupotamians worshipped the moon. By being closer to their source, they are strengthened and therefore able to keep out potential threats, protect their own pack, and watch over Moonwood Mill as a whole more effectively. I don't think the Wildfangs are particularly interested in this part of their Lyncanthropy - its something uniquely embeded in the history of The Collective and why it was created in the first place.

LASTLY, my Moonwood Mill/magic world in general is actually years ahead of where we start in game, and in my mind the magic world is on the precipice of another war (a long anticipated response after the destruction caused by Operation Eternal Flame. Vlad isn't one to take losses, and the Spellcaster/Vampire tensions are still very much palpable). I'm not going to get fully into all that, but I will say that the Wildfangs are a far more established pack, still led by their alpha, Rory (albeit a much older, wiser Rory) and The Collective is led by Rory's adoptive brother, Jacob Volkov, after their father (and former alpha of The Collective) Kristopher died. Although the tensions between the Wildfangs and The Moonwood Collective aren't as severe any more, they do still have trouble coexisting from an occult governance/council perspective. Again, I have a whole lore about occult governance as well, but I won't get into all that either haha. The TLDR is that there are two big issues between the Wildfangs and The Collective at the present moment: the first being how Rory has gone about growing the Wildfangs (by recruiting pack-less werewolves outside of Moonwood Mill, something The Collective has always been against since its inception) and second, their willingness to work with spellcasters if another occult war breaks out.

Okay... I'm done now! I'm cutting myself off! That may have been more than you were looking for...I'm truly sorry!!!

I hope I managed to answer your question (and some). Thank you for asking me about this, I literally never get to talk occult lore and it is one of my favorite things to explore in the sims!! I feel like no one cares about my occult headcanons and such... but sometimes that's all I want to talk about lmao. If I had the time and talent to make a story about this very topic, I WOULD! But for now this is all I have to offer <3

Thank you again for this ask, it made my week!!

#ts4 #simblr #moonwood mill #granite falls #ts4 werewolves #the wildfangs #the moonwood collective #the sims 4 #sims 4 #ts4 lore #my lore #ddseries #atfs ask #charsimsalot

[bellaxgiornata]

What would you get our traumatized Irish Catholic boys for Christmas? And what about our traumatized Italian Catholic and cocky Vampire?

Ahh Soulie I love this question so much but OMG I had to THINK for this one!! Mostly for Owen and Henry because we don't learn too much personal stuff about Henry (plus he's a centuries old vampire so like...what the hell would you gift him?). And I think I'm only just starting season three of Boardwalk Empire so what I thought of for Owen is more of a funny gift. I'd probably have a better answer once I've seen more of him in the show if I'm being honest. But anyway, for those who're curious on my gifting ideas and thought process for Matt Murdock, Michael Kinsella, Frank Castle, Owen Sleater, and Henry (whatever his last name is 😆), I'm putting everything below the cut cause y'all know I'm longwinded 😅

Also feel free to join in on ideas in the comments because I'd love to hear what other gift ideas y'all would have!

Gifting something to Matt Murdock seems like...an impossible task to me. Whenever I write fics, I honestly hate coming up with ideas for a character to gift him something 🤣 Why? Because this man doesn't remotely scream materialistic. I mean he barely makes any money at his law firm and is all too happy to be paid in bananas. And his only hobby is illegal and probably going to get him killed. So what the hell do you get Matt?

Personally, I'd gift him some sort of spa day or a long ass massage. He'd certainly need to be forced to take the time for himself and use it, but you know that man's battered and worn body would welcome a nice, long massage. Then maybe treat him to a nice dinner at a great restaurant because I always worry this man isn't eating enough.

Bonus gift: I'd give him a weighted blanket, too. I feel like it would help relax him on the nights he doesn't go out beating criminals.

Okay, this one came far too easily to me for Frank Castle. I'd gift him a rescue dog. Why? THIS MAN NEEDS A DOG OKAY. Frank and a dog just go together in my mind.

I also think Frank would thrive and heal a little from the unconditional love of a furry friend. And he could certainly use the company from a canine companion. I just know a dog would bring a smile to this man's face and bring out that softer, non-murder-y side that we all know is there inside of him. And honestly, I worry about how incredibly alone Frank feels after losing his family. So a dog would be perfect.

Bonus gift: Possibly some new books to read because I imagine this man doesn't enjoy much television in his downtime.

This one also came far too easily to me. I'd gift Michael Kinsella with a little vacation literally fucking anywhere calming and peaceful outside of Dublin. He desperately needs to get away from the stress of his family's business and just his crazy, shitty family in general. They're obviously not good for his health and I think he could seriously use the break. I'd also get him some less depressing books so his ass stops just reading Steinbeck and starts reading something else. You need some new books, Mikey.

Bonus gift: I'd surprise him by having his daughter Anna come along on the vacation. After eight years in prison, those two could really use some bonding time without Mikey's meddling family.

This is where things started to get tougher for me. Like I said, I'm barely in season three of Boardwalk so I feel like I don't know much about Owen personally. He hasn't had that much screen time besides some killing, scheming, and sex. So this gift idea was a bit more on the entertaining/funny side. I think further into the series I could come up with something far better.

I'd gift Owen an expensive bottle of Irish whiskey and lots of condoms. I mean, it certainly seems like he'd use both of them. The man is...definitely a flirt who has every intention of following through on his flirting 👀

Bonus gift: I don't know, me? Do I count? You can have me for Christmas, Owen.

Okay so Henry is the toughest one for me to answer this for. I mean he's a vampire and he's a few hundred years old and the movie doesn't give that much background or personal information on him. So what would I gift him for Christmas?

Considering he's a few centuries old, I doubt he's materialistic (certainly doesn't seem that way). I doubt he'd like a vacation because I mean...he's probably well traveled. We know he's got some morals since he doesn't feed on humans because he used to be one. So I imagine this vampire would enjoy literature and maybe art--things that connect him to the human side he lost. Though I assume he probably already owns and has read all the classic novels, so maybe I'd gift him something that's current that might resonate with him that he hasn't read yet.

Bonus gift: Maybe an engraved lighter? The vampire does seem to enjoy smoking. Or maybe something handmade and sentimental.

#bella answers #this was HARD #christmas gift ideas for ALL the boys #matt murdock #frank castle #michael kinsella #owen sleater #henry eat locals

[writing-for-life]

Thessaly, Johanna and a weird meta about musical motifs (amongst other things)

Send me asks about everything Sandman-related!

As a little intro: A lot of people in the fandom want to see Thessaly cut from the TV adaptation, or at least see her changed substantially. I am not necessarily one of them because I don’t think it’s always necessary to blur the lines between fiction and reality that way, and I would be alright with portraying her in a similar way as in the Audible adaptation (where a lot of things have already been changed to make her character more palatable to 21st century audiences). It would also make Morpheus look a bit less morally grey (I mean, he falls in love with someone who is essentially a terrible person, knows it and doesn’t seem to give a shit. Then again, he often is morally grey, and people like to forget that ;)).

Having gotten that out of the road: I *do* think that “A Game of You” is hard to translate to the screen. I absolutely love it in the comics, but I think it’s one of those arcs that is tricky to do well for TV. I’d even go as far as saying it might be a dealbreaker for some people who haven’t read the comic/are show audience only, and it might jeopardise a potential S3. Not because of Thessaly or the plot as such, but because it operates on a similar plane as The Doll’s House, which was jarring to a lot of people in S1. And The Doll’s House has a far more straightforward arc and more Morpheus in it—AGoY has none of these things. I’d personally love to see it, but I would also love to see Morpheus’ full arc being brought to the screen, so I am a bit conflicted. I still think, and of course that’s just a personal opinion, that it would be best to just have little bits and bobs inserted into Season of Mists and do the whole Cuckoo arc as an animation, but that’s just me.

@tickldpnk8 and I already speculated wildly about S2, and sole speculation it is, but maybe you want to check out that post. I’m getting carried away here...

After that longwinded intro: Are we going to get Johanna instead of Thessaly?

What I actually wanted to write about is why the longer I think about it (and I’ve been thinking about it since S1, I'm really that sad), the more I can���t shake the feeling that they *will* replace Thessaly with Johanna. And the fandom is totally divided about it—some love the idea because they had undeniable chemistry in S1, others hate it for various reasons (doing Johanna dirty, keeping Thessaly "intact"--you name it).

I personally think it might actually elevate the story because it would make Morpheus look better (*if* that's what we want--I'm not really sure I do), and that’s what show-only-fans seemingly gravitate towards. As already hinted at, Thessaly/Murphy always seemed a rather unfathomable relationship, and it didn’t just make Murph look stupid, but also, as already mentioned, morally grey and not very discerning in his choice of women (hmm, maybe he just isn’t ;)).

Falling for Johanna wouldn’t be any of this. And it would be so easy to show why it went horribly wrong without making either of them look bad, and you could still feel for both of them. If we think about Johanna’s worst nightmare (literally), it’s what happened to Astra. So she would absolutely and unequivocally support someone like Lyta, who worries about her child. And she would do it for all the right reasons, and not because she’s a selfish bitch who just wants a longer life or is generally spiteful.

And it wouldn’t be hard for Morpheus and Johanna to hook up either. They could even leave the original idea intact: Thessaly just dreamed of him, and they started talking in dreams, bla bla bla. We already have the set-up for that in S1. Morpheus took away Johanna’s nightmare. She could just be grateful, relieved, whatever, and dream of him. Done. And we don’t even need to explain that at great length, because in the comics, we never really see them hook up anyway and just find things out after the deed. Although I personally *want* to see them get hot and heavy on screen, but that’s just me having my mind in the gutter because why would you not to show two sexy people with so much chemistry doing exactly that. However, I’ll survive the disappointment if they don’t—just 😂

But it’s not just the plot. It’s also everything we’ve seen in S1. I have already talked about this in other threads, most recently with @orionsangel86, but literally every shot with them in S1 was framed as a romance shot: the proximity, the play on height difference, the camera angles, the lighting. These are deliberate choices, either to hint at what’s to come, or to set up a distraction, MacGuffin, whatever.

Then the mention of “None of us can be trusted.”

Or the RAIN. I mean, I am so surprised no one has commented on that waterfall of RAIN when they say goodbye (or I’ve just not seen it). You cannot read the comics and ever believe again that Morpheus and rain, no matter where, doesn’t hint at terrible relationship outcomes.

Musical themes, oy!

But the thing that really got me was the use of musical motifs, and I am unfortunately showing my background from a former life here because I can never listen to a movie soundtrack without getting analytical about it. Johanna’s theme is called “Johanna & Rachel”, and it would be easy to just think of it as that. And yes, it is a love theme, but it doesn’t just play for Johanna and Rachel. It plays in Morpheus’ and Johanna’s last scene as well.

And here’s the kicker: Dream’s and her theme complete each other, as in: They both have what the other one is missing. They are musically extremely close, but not identical. Let me explain:

If you think of the opening lines of both of their motifs in scale degrees (like 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-(1)), they look/sound as follows:

Johanna (her motif begins right at the start, so I didn't timestamp it)

1-(minor3)-7-(2)-(1) | 1-(major3)-m7-1

If I put all of “her” scale degrees in a row, they are: 1-2-3-7

Dream (you actually hear his leitmotifs, and their subtle differences, best in his scenes with John Dee):

1-(7)-(6)-(5)-(4) | 1-(7)-(6)-2 (video is timestamped)

1-(7)-(6)-(5)-(aug4) | 1-(7)-(6)-2 (video is timestamped)

If I put all of “his” scale degrees in a row, they are: 1-2-4-5-6-7

Morpheus is missing the third (3). Missing the third, which s considered one of the most consonant intervals and DYNAMIC, also hints at his character, but that just as an aside.

Johanna has the third (both in its minor and major form). 

Johanna is missing the fourth, fifth and sixth.

Morpheus has them, in various forms (major and augmented—especially augmented intervals are highly unstable and create a lot of friction).

What they share/have in common are 1, 2 and 7:

The tonic (1) is what everything else hinges on. The supertonic (2) is musically fraught with tension and seeks to resolve into the tonic--back to base or a conclusion/resolution, if you will. The seventh (7), both as a leading note or subtonic, is also that: Tension that needs resolved.

So all they have in common is tension that needs to resolve into some sort of resolution.

(And before we are pointing out the obvious: of course both tunes have more notes in it respectively, but we are talking about the main motifs.)

What’s also super interesting is where their overall themes are going. Johanna’s is initially darker, but it actually has a lot of ascending lines and “light” before plunging back into darkness.

Morpheus’ seems a lot more regal (for lack of better term), but the lines are mostly descending. This becomes even more apparent when we are not just listening to the opening theme, but to the several variations of his theme (his presence can be felt literally everywhere, even in Desire's theme).

It just freaked me out majorly the moment I heard it for the first time in contrast. But I like to over-interpret musical stuff because I just hear it so clearly. I *do* believe that composers do these things on purpose, even if just subconsciously, because we can't separate what we know about a character from how we perceive them musically (I do it as well). Of course that doesn’t always mean that it’s exactly the purpose I am thinking of, or that it hints at whatever is to come. My brain tends to run away with these things.

But yes, musically, they are totally "on track", so let's run with it. I'll admit my embarrassment later when this all goes into a completely different direction ;)

(Also tagging @honeyteacakes in this since I encroached on your comments recently)

#sandman meta #sandman spoilers #sandman season 2 meta #sandman s2 meta #morpheus #johanna constantine #thessaly #the sandman #sandman netflix #sandman #dream of the endless #musical meta analysis #wild speculation #like really wild

[echosoftheflower]

Okay, to kick off this “attempting to put all my ideas for IBVS online” rabbit hole, let's start with what I'm assuming is CK’s favorite theory of mine.

Rose Beamer has powers.

Now I don't really have much evidence supporting this yet but what I do have feels like some pretty good foreshadowing.

First, let's start off with the powers, we know they are genetic, potentially some kind of gene that is unlocked by adrenaline or some other fight or flight instinct. This is pretty obvious from the fact that everyone who has powers’ siblings have powers. Nevin and Drew, Edward and Geno, and even Edward and Dez are cousins (stated to be on his father’s side). So if siblings are likely to both get powers, then why don't any adults seem to have them? This could either be from them never being unlocked (like how Drew and Dez gained their powers much later on) or the gene potentially skipping generations. 

All of this is to say, that the chances of Rose having powers - or at least the potential for them - is much higher than it may first seem.

The second part of this is something that I've also noticed in Cody (but he is a theory for another day). We know a little too much about her. For a character that's gotten a total of two scenes, we have 1: A character ref,  2: A name, 3: Her job, 4: A pretty good read of her personality, and 5: Her dynamic with Isaac (caring and fun but often busy with work). 

I think she has the potential to become a bigger part of the story and would tie in well with bringing attention back to Isaac (our main character).

Speaking of Isaac, this is where the real powers part comes in. 

If Rose has powers, then what are they?

Well, we know that Isaac's main power is to bring drawings to life, but he also has a seemingly secondary power of being able to move specifically liquid art supplies at will.

And in IBVS there is one other time a person with liquid-based powers is mentioned, seemingly as a throwaway line

"Drew and Nevin both got to the point and opened up, and even their incredibly catholic grandmother, who could have been a hit or miss when it came to something like this, ended up just nodding and saying ‘oh, I knew a young lady like that about twenty years ago.’

She went into a longwinded story about the girl. About how, in her earlier years of trying to get work in the States, she needed to take an extra job at a daycare, and one of her fellow workers, a woman in her twenties, could create ripples in water like currents with her mind. While Drew was utterly thrilled at hearing this, Nevin was only surprised hearing this from his grandmother of all people.

Grandma Jovel proceeded to give the clarification that Nevin wanted to hear–she didn’t plan to tell anyone about them, due to the danger it could create for them.” (chapter 20 season 1)

Grandma Jovel knew a woman like that twenty years ago. If that lady was in her twenties then, then she would now be in her forties, the perfect age range for someone whose only child is currently 16. And also, the lady had minor water/liquid manipulation powers, a power that could easily be matched with Isaac's stronger-manipulation-but-less-materials-affected.

Grandma Jovel also mentioned that she wouldn't tell anyone, "due to the danger it could create for them," so she understands that people finding out they had powers might put them in danger. This could just be the general "we don't know how people would react" but it could also be that something happened to that lady, say, she goes missing.

This kind of branches out into an entirely new theory (and where I start losing evidence) but, Rose may have been one of the women in the lab. It's specified that the woman who wrote the letters in Ghost Stories worked there; however we don't know if it was as a volunteer or scientist, and she also mentioned how they weren't allowed to leave. We also know that the letter never left the lab. There is a chance that Rose worked there as a psychologist to try to understand how and why she has these powers. If these experiments are what I believe them to be (Mr. Wolfe and Xavier testing the supernatural gene to create Sigma) then it would explain why she would never tell Isaac about her powers or help him figure out if he had any, as she would know that people like Wolfe could come for either of them. 

This also goes into another theory about the potential of Isaac's natural powers actually only being the paint manipulation, and the creation part being the other half of Sigma reacting to it. But that's a whole other thing.

TLDR: Rose Beamer may be the lady we hear about from Grandma Jovel in chapter 20

#ibvs #ibvs theory #Rose Beamer #isaac beamer #I've had this in mt drafts for a while and finally manged to finish it #work/collage prep has been killing me #Rose Ripple Theory

[look-i-love-u]

Galladrabbles - Cold Shower

This week's @galladrabbles is inspired by @michellemisfit's prompt: cold shower.

It's part of my ongoing Baldur's Gate 3 meets Gallavich drabble series, which you can read: HERE.

Plus there's a little extra special underneath the cut! :)

||||||

“Hey, Mickey.” Ian grinned as Mickey’s fighter joined his play session. He’d been itching to call him by his name. Had whispered it at night. It sounded right in his head, felt right on his lips.

“Hey, man.” Mickey’s voice sounds gruff. But he’s smiling. Ian can tell.

“Ready to venture forth into the Shadowlands?”

“Sure. What’s got you all giddy? Need a cold shower before we start?”

“Nope. All good. You will need one when we’re done though.”

“Oh ho. Big Words, Red. That a promise?” Ian hears his grin. Wishes he could see it too.

“Always, Mick. Always.”

And here they are!

Mickey's and Ian's BG3 characters! Plus a longwinded explanation why I made those character choices for them... If you can figure out their name choices I'm gonna hug you from afar!

Ian - Half-Orc Cleric, War Domain, Background: Soldier

Irish green skin to represent the Gallagher pride. Blue-green eyes and ginger hair to find himself in the character. Wild ginger curls to go the one step further and be actually true to himself and leave the straightening iron alone, at least as an online character.

Name: Atir

Freckles - duh! Half-orc because they are super hard to kill as they got Relentless Endurance, the feature that bounces them back to 1 HP (once per Long Rest) which he loves and uses as inspiration/analogy as he's determined to never just lay down and give up, plus a war cleric with a soldier background based on his past and his present (he's an emt in the drabble series).

Mickey - Half-Drow Fighter, Battlemaster, Background: Criminal

Tall big burly guy - wishful thinking/finally representing what he feels like inside.

Name: Isc A. Ifli

Fighter - it's what he knows and is good at plus big ass swords!!, Drow as a misunderstood and mistreated creature that lives in shadows but steps into the light (has the dancing light cantrip), scars to represent his history - he went through shit but survived and lives to tell the tale plus tattoo looking a bit like a mouth sewn shut to show someone who had to hide some secrets. Bonus: super strong eyebrow game!

But it's a dark purple to show some colour coming into the darkness and living his truth going forward…

#galladrabbles #gallavich #shameless #ian gallagher #mickey milkovich #gallavich gate 3 - the series

[thishumanspace]

How To Deal With Your "Day to Day" when "Manifesting"

Yea, we all know there is only the Now moment, but some people may still be giving attention to a frame of thinking that is connected to time and relative manifestation.

Mental Housekeeping: 1stly, "manifestations" are isolated. Desired realities are achieved without steps. They simply exist. Processes are what makes Life seem slower than it is. The idea of progression is an illusion, too.

How I Go About My Day: Regardless of the lens of perception I face in any moment, I realize I always have a choice to give attention to what I'm seeing or choose to direct my attention/focus to something I prefer. This is key. Read that back again. Shifting focus to something I prefer. Flex that choice like a muscle & get dem GAINS. but i digress. This morning I received a longwinded text about something I'm no longer choosing. Then I noticed an emotional energy pop up.

How I handled it: I paused and observed. My intuition kicked in on what inspired action to take. I did that. Then I observed some more. During this observation, I had higher thoughts come into Awareness to remind me and guide me to what I am staying focused on instead of that text.

The question: "ARE YOU SERVING THAT TEXT OR ARE YOU SERVING YOUR BEST LIFE, HIGHEST REALITY, & DESIRED CHOICES?" Shortly after, the text didn't matter and the energy dissolved and I carried on. I KEEP FOCUSING ON WHAT FEELS BETTER & NOT ACT ON ANYTHING THAT ISN'T A MATCH TO ENJOYMENT.

thazzit.

and because of this awareness, I'm consistently happy & unbothered regardless of circumstances or what some folks call 3D.

May you always be soothed :)

#crystal parker #awareness #waking diary #energy #reconciliation #reclaiming my mind

[dumplingsjinson]

Okay. So. Um.

YEAH.

IDK. FUCK. WHAT IN THE SHIT JUST HAPPENED? I'm apparently not single anymore.

Let's just get on with it-

First stop: Photobooth. Nothing much happened here. (Gonna post the photo on my Insta story; asked him for his permission and he was like "That's fine.")

Second stop: Shopping centre. This was where things got a little interesting. We visited the Lego store his friend works at. Cat guy introduced me to his friend and him to me, and they started talking... And then his friend mentioned the BLACKPINK concert and how he missed it and that piqued my interest, and we started talking about the concert and everything, and then we go on talking about the TWICE concert as well. We were hitting it off quite well lolol. During all of that, cat guy was standing there like "Hello? Wtf?", all left out and shit (I feel so bad for that, but I was so excited to meet another BLACKPINK fan at the time kwjfewf.) Anyway, at one point, cat guy was like, "Okay, we're leaving. We'll come back soon."

(Spoiler: we don't go back. LMFAO.) We go to get lunch, walk around the shopping centre a bit... Then head straight to the car park. Thing is, the Lego shop was in like... Plain sight. I was waiting for him to take us back there, but he ignored it and we go to his car instead. I brought it up with him (once we were on the road), being all like, "Oh, weren't we supposed to go back for your friend at the Lego store?" and he was all like, "Oh, I forgot about that. We can go back next time".

SOOOOOOOOOO.

Me thinks someone's JEALOUS LKFNENWKF, but I could be wrong. Idk. I'm bad at reading signs. But he did seem a bit miffed when I was talking so animatedly to his friend about the concerts, sooo... Yeah.

We go back to his home.

(BTW, FINALLY MET HIS CAT. Mission accomplished!! And oh my God, she's the CUTEST THING EVER. She's so much smaller than I thought she would be and looked so soft and SFLKNWEKLFN I think I like his cat more than him AHAHAHA. (That's a joke btw, please don't cancel me-))

Stayed in his living room for a bit, then went up to his room to cuddle... And I'm there like, "Oh God. Do I talk to him now? Maybe I shouldn't. Maybe I'll chicken out." My heart was beating out of my chest, and I started getting in my head again, and he was asking me if everything was okay because I was moving around a lot (I was stressed tf out lmfao) so I was like "Okay fuck it, we need to talk to him whether we want to or not" so I'm like, "So... There is something I wanna talk about with you."

And... The talk happened. I asked him where his head's at; where he sees this going. I told him I liked how things are progressing, and I wanna see how things continue to go with us. I told him I didn't want to rush things, though, and that I wanted to take it slow (mainly because I didn't want to put pressure on him, since I didn't know if he wanted more when I was asking those questions). And amidst all of that, I... End up confessing to him.

Straight up out here being like "I... Really like you. I don't think I've ever liked anyone this much before." Spilling my guts out and baring my soul to him while hiding my face in his pillow and tacking on an "I'm so fucking embarrassed" at the end of my longwinded gut spilling session, while he was laughing and shit lweknflkewnf.

And God. At one point during the talk, he was like "I thought we were way past this point a long time ago" or some shit like that, and now I'm like... So he had the belief we've been a thing for quite a while I was here stressing the fuck out? Granted, he did update his Hinge profile, which lead us to having this talk a lot sooner than I thought we would in the first place, but at the same time, I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt for that one. Maybe he wanted to look for friends, and I'm solely basing that on one of the components of his Hinge profile, which I will not be showing lol. I didn't want to bring that up and look like I'm overanalysing everything, so I'm putting that past me lol. Done stressing about it.

(I paused all of my accounts when we parted and will probably casually tell him about it when we meet up next lol.)

Anyway, after that mfing mess of a confession, we cuddled some more. And then I was like... "Wait, so what are we?" because I'll be honest, I was still confused where we were at and wanted to clarify if we were exclusive (I didn't want to overthink it again and wanted clear answers), and he was straight up like:

"We're officially dating."

SO YEAH. AAHAHHAHAHHA.

Literally went from "I don't wanna rush into things and want to take things slow and see where this goes" to "We're together now, you dense piece of turd" in like less than 10 fucking minutes.

We cuddled even more, I'm telling him how much I like him, and he told me he likes me, too... And then it led into me being all vulnerable and shit (disgusting, right? How dare I-) and basically apologising to him for not messaging him a lot these days. I told him that I get really in my head when I like someone, and I feel like if I message them too much, I'm gonna annoy them. I told him I want to update him on trivial shit. I want to tell him things. But I end up holding myself back because I don't want to be overbearing. I told him I end up overthinking things and that leads me to not sending anything. I told him, "I don't want you thinking I'm uninterested, because I am. I like you a lot. Like fuck, I think about you a bit too much sometimes, you know?"

SO YEAH. JESUS. I think I deserve a medal for this courage lmao.

He ended up reassuring me and was like, "You can message me any time. Tell me about your day. I like when you do that, and I'll message you back when I can." (He reassured me again later on during the date, telling me how I can message him whenever, so that was really sweet of him.) So yeah... I promised him I'd spam him with Instagram reels, and also warned him about how I talk a lot over text, that's how I'm like with my friend, he's got a huge storm coming, and he was like, "And that's fine."

At one point, his sister's corgi (also the cutest thing ever) came into the room and came straight for me HAHA (I asked him if the corgi ever came into his room before and he was like "It's the first time this has happened" so I'm pretty sure it's because my monthly visitor was here and the corgi sensed that, which was why it came to me and didn't seem to want to leave me alone for at least 15-20 minutes. I read somewhere that's what cat and dogs do). It also peed on the floor so uh... Rip his carpet. 💀

Anyway, the corgi finally leaves, we get more cuddles in.

And UH. I guess it got a little steamy here? He was like... Kissing my neck and everything (prior to this, he was kissing my face and stroking my hair and all of the stuff he did during the last date) and AHAHAHA, when he stopped, I was all like "I like it when you kiss my neck" and this man... This man.

He took that as a sign (as he should) and kissed my neck even more, to the point where I thought he'd leave marks on my skin lmfao. Pulled the collar of my shirt back (I wasn't even wearing a turtle neck sweater this time so he was going DEEP lmao) AND AHAHA, when I say I was encouraging this behaviour by making all of these sweet little noises. I was sighing and moaning a little AND HE WAS TURNED ON BY THAT, LET ME TELL YOU THAT MUCH. (If him sporting something down there wasn't a sign-)

I was also holding onto the nape of his neck and everything; running my fingers through his hair; pulling him closer to me and tilting my head back for easier access and just letting whatever noise I wanted to make naturally fall out of my mouth and yeah... That definitely spurred him on. Had him all pressed up against me lmao.

(Fanfics have me LEARNING things.)

Tbh, I was lowkey worried he'd leave a mark there since he was just... Yeah, but he didn't so thank God. (But also, a part of me lowkey kinda wanted him to though ngl WELKFNEWKLNF, even though I'd have to hide it from my parents somehow lmao.

And well yeah, he was just being very affectionate like the last time, and held me so close to him and kept calling me cute (literally would not stop and I'd deny it and he'd be like "no, you're cute") and sweet and soft and saying I smelled good and wionlkwnef AHHHH I'M GONNA SCREAM. We kissed (cute lil pecks, just how I fucking love it) and all o' that.

We're about to leave for dinner, the corgi is circling me again and his dad had to step in and take the corgi before it left the house with me, because it kept following me around lmaooo. Kept sniffing my shoe and was preventing me from putting it on, so I was struggling for a hot minute, while cat guy just watched me struggle lmfao.

After dinner, I'm thinking we'd go back to his place (that was the plan) but his friend called and was like "Please come to the concert, we have a free ticket because our other friend couldn't make it" (that friend had called him about the concert before we went out for dinner and cat guy declined at first lol) so we ended up having to cut the date short so he could go to the concert because his friend really wanted him to go. He dropped me off and I hugged and kissed him before leaving BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE WHO ARE OFFICIALLY DATING DO, RIGHT?? WELKENEKLWFN.

IDK YOU TELL ME, DAMN.

So yeah. When I got on the train, he informed me that his friend's brother took his phone and said brother couldn't find his friend. That friend had his ticket, so he needed to come out to take cat guy into the venue... And he never came out (and apparently never replied to cat guy until after the concert) so that was a bit shitty. Cat guy ended up leaving after standing around outside, waiting for his friend.

So the date was cut short because of this guy, and I was lowkey saurrr disappointed because I though I could spend at least a few more hours with him before going home :((

SO YEAH. WHAT THE FUCK, MATE??

But yeah, basically that's what happened. And while driving me to the station to drop me off, he asked me when I was free next so... We'll be seeing each other pretty soon (in a little bit over a week or so?) so that makes up for it AHAH.

He messaged me and was like "We could've hung out a little bit longer :///" and "This entire thing made me so frustrated on the drive back home" welkfnewknf My poor guy :((((

So uhHHH, your girl is Taken, or some shit like that, idfk. At least I think I am HAHAHAHA, completely skipped the exclusive stage and went straight to "officially dating".

I'll probably stop with the updates lol, unless something significant happens. I'll probably make more prompts, too, but right now I need to sleep lmfao. SAUR TIRED.

(I already miss him and maybe I'll find the courage to tell him that later on, but right now... Nope. Lmfao.)

#long post #cat guy chronicles #love life rambles

[mcytblr-archive]

Early MCYTblr Interviews: gayminecraftmen

today's interviewee is @gayminecraftmen, a mcytblr veteran and member of dreamlying! below is a transcript of the questions and answers, today under a readmore for your scrolling convenience.

Q: What, to the best of your recollection, was your experience in early MCYTblr?

A: This is going to be very longwinded - I would say that I had a pretty unique experience during that time. I joined in early July of 2020 after being inspired by georgeeehd/tommyofcolor/lmanburg - all the same person, Reese's blog. Can't for the life of me remember what his first url was. I got my kickstart in the fandom through him, I started out as one of his anons and when I decided to make a blog of my own he gave me a shoutout. The dream team fandom was still very small at the time, so i'd say a lot of my "popularity" was only because I was one of the firsts. There was nothing truly special about what I was posting at the start of my blog, it was basically all dnf. This eventually went hand in hand with truthing, the thing I'm sure most people remember me for, and something I'll go into more detail on later.

Now, as for the more unique aspect of my time; I never looked at my dashboard. I mean, I didn't need to! All I ever needed to do was look at my notifications and people were feeding me information about what was happening in the fandom. I was 15 during my time in mcytblr, I had no real interest in building a community in the fandom if the community was seemingly being built around me. I felt like a celebrity, people in my ask box were concerningly parasocial towards me - I've got some old screenshots of asks that still creep me out a bit. It was all a huge unhealthy ego boost that made me very manic at times. Anyway - because I rarely even checked other people's blogs at the time, I'm a pretty unreliable source when it comes to anything but my own experience. I ended up deactivating on March 13th 2021 because I hadn't been genuinely into mcyt since.. I want to say October or even September of 2020 and my blog had been losing traction since the start of 2021. It just wasn't fun for me anymore.

Q: What was the general fandom attitude towards creators? More specifically, has the attitude around "boundaries" evolved since then?

A: Like I said I can't really speak on the general fandom, but I can say that in my circle the general concensus was "they're celebrities, they'll never see us, who cares?" I mean, it was tumblr, there were no creators around to see us talk about them. There was truly no worry of any consequences. For my truthing circle specifically, if you saw gay, you said gay. Later on down the line I realized that no, dream and george are not planning their honeymoon in Barcelona, but it ended up being funnier to continue the bit than denounce it altogether.

Q: I recall that you were part of "dreamlying". What was that like? (and, as an aside; is it odd to be considered infamous within a tumblr fan community?)

A: Dreamlying was, and still is, just a friend group. That's literally it. Yes, it's a friend group infamous for doxxing, and truthing, and starting a number of rumors, but still, it's not like we were constantly scheming the next big heist. You can find a number of posts detailing the origins of our group on roxytonic's blog, all conveniently tagged as "#dreamlying" so I won't get into all that at the risk of being redundant. And yes, it's incredibly weird to me that people still consider us to be infamous. Myself, especially as I actually only had a bit over 500 followers. (granted, I am aware that many people checked my blog without following and even more had me blocked). I think my least favorite part about it all is all the lies that other people tell about us. Like, while going through your blog I saw a post where someone had said I was the one who wrote the SBI crit post, a post i hadn't even known existed until I saw you talking about it! As far as I know, whoever wrote that post never had anything to do with dreamlying, and they certainly weren't a member at any point. Yes, we are partially to blame for spreading a bunch of lies about ourselves for fun, but to see just how much that spiraled out of our hands is astounding.

Q: Are there any specific dramas/discourse that you remember from the "dreamlying" era?

A: The dreamlying hijink that I think is the most infamous was the leaking of the fact that dream wasn't registered to vote. This was veeerry early on, and wasn't even a group effort, (as far as I remember nothing pertaining to doxxing ever was. It was usually just one member going off on an internet excursion on their own and sharing with the class as they went). I don't even think dreamlying had even been formed yet, or it was incredibly early. Either way, that can be attributed to Reese, as I'm sure many people remember. Finding this out was as simple as going into Florida's voting records and searching up Dream's name, something that had been doxxed by others beforehand. Frankly, I still don't understand why this was such a big deal to people.

My personal favorite dreamlying happenings were the more absurd rumors that we had started. My personal favorite being that dream's legal team sent a cease and desist to dreamwasfound/georgesoot for defamation of character, which was what we told people was the reason for his deactivation. It's insane to me that anyone ever believed that for even a second. Another favorite, one that never really caught on with the public, was that Ranboo was an ex member of dreamlying. That one was never stated outright but I remember a few subtle hints being thrown out. Sadly, I don't think anyone took the bait on that one.

Q: Moving on from dreamlying-- you mentioned being part of "ebblr" [enderbees tumblr]. Was that different from your experience in previous fringe communities?

A: Not to stroke my own ego, but I do think I had a large part in the creation of ebblr. A lot of the larger ebblr bloggers were my anons at one point. I would say the main difference in my time discussing enderbees, was that I never watched a single tubbo or ranboo stream. Every single piece of information that I had to go off of was sent to me through asks. I barely made any original posts on the topic, again mostly just responding to asks. I remember when people were first trying to think of a name for the ship, I jokingly proposed the name "boobees." I got sent death threats for that.

Q: What do you remember from that time?

A: The enderbees timeline is endlessly hilarious to me. I can't remember all of the specifics but I do recall there being a decently specific timeline of their relationship that people agreed upon. What I remember the most though was when Ranboo came to live with Tubbo for awhile on a visa (unrelated: I believe there was also serious talk of him committing tax fraud with said visa). At the point of the visit, people were already convinced they were dating. It seemed that Ranboo was a pretty ungrateful guest and I believe he ended up leaving early. That's when people started theorizing the breakup. It was later revealed on a stream that Tubbo had Ranboo muted on twitter - this really cemented things. I think people even outside of ebblr could see that their relationship was rocky after that trip, they weren't doing streams together much at all and their friend groups seemed to divide. Again, all of this information was fed to me secondhand, so I may be missing a few beats or be hyperbolizing some things, but this is how it seemed to me as far as I can remember.

Q: Is there anything else you'd like to speak on/about?

A: Don't believe anything about dreamlying that doesn't come directly from a member's mouth (roxytonic's blog being an outlier in this case). Second-hand accounts are essentially useless here, considering how much we lied, or "poisoned the well" as roxy put it. So, unless you're specifically looking to gather information on how we were percieved, most of what you're gonna find on us is simply untrue. If anyone happens to be reading this interview and has more questions, I am probably open to answering them as long as they aren't too prying! My inbox on gayminecraftmen is always open, and I really do love talking about my experiences in this fandom.

#MCYTblr Interviews #Volume 7 #gayminecraftmen

[marcelwrites]

Spent five hours getting tattooed today. It's been a while since I've sat for that long. Lining sucked as per usual but the shading wasn't bad, except for around the stomach area. Definitely didn't miss getting my guts tattooed. That shit kills. My tattoo artist is having her birthday party on Saturday so I've taken the night off. It should be a good night although I'm debating what drinks to take for the night and I know they're gonna go to the effort to have vegan food just for me (I am the only vegan around, unfortunately). I dislike that they're gonna go to that effort just for me, but I love them for it. I would rather not eat than put people out or bother them about my own lifestyle and eating habits. That's essentially just a longwinded way of saying that they're beautiful people. We all have this innate desire for people to take care of us but when that effort is shown, we recoil from it as if we've just touched an open flame. How human of us is it to seek care and love but reject it? It borders on insanity and madness.

#marcelwrites #writing #words #personal #life

[aromanticbuck]

What do you mean about fate and FS and Moustead?

Hello! Thank you for falling for my lil trap!

There is so much because I'm longwinded, have fun with this I got too excited getting to put this all into words.

I've been against using "fate" as an argument for FitzSimmons, specifically, since... 2017? Yeah, that's when that half of s4 aired. I'll give you a SparkNotes version, for anyone who didn't watch Agents of SHIELD - Leo Fitz and Jemma Simmons, who I do love as a ship in the early seasons, I have nothing against the ship specifically, just the "they're fated to be together" argument. They met at the SHIELD academy when they were kids, when Jemma sat next to Fitz in a class and they became... friends? They both thought the other hated them and they were gonna be rivals, while secretly admired each other and how smart they were the whole time. Anyway, now they're married and have a daughter, which is cute as shit, good for them, this is not an anti-FitzSimmons post.

I don't think they're fated to be together.

I use the Framework-created alternate reality to make this point every time. In that reality, Ophelia is the one who sat next to Leopold, and that butterfly effects into them being in a relationship down the line. Ophelia specifically set it up to be that way, I get that, I know that's how the Framework arc worked. My username was HoldenDadcliffe across most social media for 4 years, I know what I'm talking about. But the argument could be made that Fitz would have ended up with anyone who sat next to him in class and engaged with him, whether as a friend or a presumed rival or what have you. That's the only point I want to make. It could have been anyone. In the real world, it was Jemma. In the Framework, it was Ophelia. It could have been Matt, my Bruises Verse OC, it could have been anyone. It was the situation that brought them together, not the universe. That doesn't make the relationship any less important or genuine, it's just a fact.

Anyway, I would argue that Moustead is fated to be in each other's lives, especially if we take the possibilities in Bolivia into account. Not necessarily in a romantic way, because soulmates, or whatever you want to call it, don't have to be romantic. I just think they're meant to exist in the world together, and the universe seems to be encouraging that.

For instance, in Afghanistan, Jay did make friends with Knox first. In canon. They were close, they built explosives together, had to rely on each other to survive, the whole nine yards. They were halfway around the world with only their team to count on and trust. They had to be a family to stay alive. And then Knox did everything he did, and that friendship was obviously completely ruined after that, which meant that one of Jay's most important relationships at the time was just... decimated. He had to find someone who he could actually rely on, someone who wouldn't murder civilians because he wasn't taught to handle his emotions in a healthy way.

Mouse wasn't exactly handling his emotions in a healthy way, either, but at least his poor coping mechanisms didn't have a civilian body count, you know? Like, the only person he hurts is himself? It's fine, he gets better, eventually. But the idea of the universe seeing Jay make a friend, and going "wait, no, not that one, come back here" is just so... *chef's kiss* It's just a coincidence, at that point, but there sure are a lot of coincidences, aren't there?

He gets attached to the one other person from Chicago. The one other person who survived that war zone with him. The one person who kept him sane - who he also kept sane - when they got home and had to navigate civilian life again.

They just work, you know? They balance each other out in so many ways. Jay is absolutely driven by his heart - he wants to help people, he wants to put good into the world and take bad out, he wants to fall in love and have a constant presence in his life. On the other hand, Mouse is driven by his head - he's so smart, and he uses that to learn about computers and the world around him, and he has great ideas. They both rely on those opposites so much that it hurts them. Jay holds onto relationships until they tear him apart. Mouse thinks things through so much that he had to turn to drugs to keep himself from unraveling.

They even go so far as to completely reject those opposites in themselves. If Jay used his head, he'd know to let go of relationships and connections long before they hurt him the way the do. If Mouse used his heart, he'd be less untethered, he'd have more connections to his Chicago life than just Jay. Of course, all of my labels for them are just headcanons, but Jay being aspec and Mouse being arospec adds to this so beautifully.

Even if it is all coincidence, that balance is so important to their relationship. If one goes too far, the other can pull them back, and they really make up one fully functional human being together. They share a braincell, for sure, and Mouse usually has it. Jay certainly didn't have it in s5, that's a fact.

I think, with Jay leaving the show - and rehashing the same speech that Mouse gave him with only slightly different wording - the universe might be pushing them together again? Obviously, canon hasn't mentioned Mouse since s4, and we're never going to know if they're actually serving their country together again, but I can pretend. I can pretend that the person Jay called his best friend is still in his life, somehow.

But especially with how s9 went, and that whole year leading up to Jay leaving for Bolivia...

Even just starting with the Knox episode, 9x03, that had to bring up memories that he hasn't thought about in a while. I'm almost certain that he came across a few pictures of Mouse while he was doing his digging, even if we didn't get to seem them on screen.

After that, I want to bring up 9x09. Lovingly, the rushed marriage episode. (I love Upstead, but their romance arc was rushed and if they, the writers, had taken the time to develop the relationship more, they could have navigated the distance much more easily, or at least put off the actual wedding until Jay made his way through his crisis and they were both in a more stable place, but that's just my opinion and not the point of this post, ignore me) I just think about that episode a lot in a Moustead context because of what made Jay panic and rush into it like that. They had to get the FBI off of Voight and Hailey, obviously, but the steps they took had to be personal to him, at least in the context of his friendship with Mouse. A young, queer-coded drug addict, who was the same age that Mouse was when they met, using him and this weakness (that Jay canonically doesn't judge, he literally gave Mouse drug money in s1) and holding that over his brother as leverage, it's... He saw the lowest point of his best friend's life right in front of his face, something that he couldn't fix before and can't fix now, and Jay...

Jay, who just wants to help people, and put some more good into the world, and fix things because he hasn't had much control in his life and now he's older and stronger and he can do something. He used this intimate knowledge he has of people in that situation for his own personal gain, in a way, and doesn't that make him feel so dirty? But he can't think about it too hard, because he's not the one who uses his head. Mouse is his head, the one who would have actually said out loud how stupid and reckless and horrible that idea was and how they shouldn't do it. Because it was exploiting a literal child, who didn't do anything wrong beyond giving into vices. But Jay... Jay is the heart. He finds someone he cares about and he holds on so tight. And he was already engaged to Hailey, so what's the harm in moving the wedding up?

He'd already lost the person he'd been thinking about for months, and it's not like he could just call and ask Mouse to come back to Chicago, not after how things ended. But he could hold onto the people he loved who were close. He could turn an engagement into a marriage. He could insert himself further into Voight's bullshit. He could cement himself in the team and focus on what he had, not what he missed.

Then there was Adam's undercover thing, and the overdose, and even if November 2011, specifically, is from my headcanons, how many times did Jay worry? How many times did he text or call or pop by to make sure that Mouse was high but not in danger? How much did he check in after Mouse's multiple felonies and other petty crimes and make sure he was okay and alive? How many times did Jay have to worry, over their 10+ year friendship, that he'd lost someone he cares about so much?

And then there's s10, with his exit, and that entire episode doing the exact same thing to me, emotionally. 10x03, my beloved, my ride or die, my defining moment... A veteran is doing his best, getting pulled into crime just to pull himself afloat, getting hurt and getting himself killed through that. Isn't that something Jay has seen before? Just with a less tragic finale? Of course he helped clear up the guy's record, so that his family could still get the benefits, and all of that wasn't done for nothing. And then...

He left. He went back to the army, however loosely, basically quoted Mouse's reasons for why - because how else would he explain it? The logic is sound, of course it is, the head handles the logic. Jay just followed the logic laid out for him six years earlier, when his heart finally caught up with it.

And the idea that they somehow ended up in the same area again? Working together and rekindling their friendship now that they're finally on the same page? What else could that be?

It's fate.

#answered #jay halstead #mouse gerwitz #greg gerwitz #greg mouse gerwitz #moustead #cpd #chicago pd #one chicago #brief discussion of upstead #brief discussion of fitzsimmons #entirely neutral opinions nothing negative just a thought process #because i love both ships that's just not what this was about #also this can be read entirely platonic on the jay/mouse front #however you want to vibe with it #winterbonesthings #alex says things #i'm gonna think about them all day

[presumenothing]

random novel excerpts #4, from book 4 ch 4 (aka 纸生极乐塔 arc):

The 'thousand-year fox spirit' came to lie quietly at Li Lianhua's feet. Li Lianhua looked awhile at that note drenched in fresh blood, then leaned down and lightly stroked its head with a sigh.

Fang Duobing said, coldly: "I was mistaken."

Shao Xiaowu patted both of their shoulders. "No one would've expected for 'it' to let Li Fei go in Jingde Hall, only to kill him here."

Li Lianhua shook his head. Shao Xiaowu could not make out his expression in the dim light, only hear Fang Duobing's cold words: "I already knew ages ago that Lu Fang and Li Fei were closely tied together, I should've realised that with Lu Fang gone mad, 'it' would kill Li Fei next – it's my fault." He struck that tree once, forcefully. "It's my fault!"

The lighter went out yet again. Shao Xiaowu had nothing to say; the killing intent rolled off Fang Duobing. Li Fei's corpse was still slowly dripping blood, one drop after another, like a pained groan.

"Well… in a person's life, there's bound to be mistakes sometime." Li Lianhua said, "If not a mistake here, then a misstep there – after all, you've got to have some topic for conversation when you're well into your seventies and eighties…"

Fang Duobing broke out in fury. "Damn Lianhua! This is a human life! A whole human life we're talking about! Yet here you are still daring to spout utter nonsense to my face, don't you have any conscience at all?"

Still Li Lianhua continued in that longwinded way: "…well… in a person's life, sometimes you do too much or too little, we all make some mistakes, whether intentional or not, whether real or feigned or halfway in between, there's always bound to be burdens, some that you must bear, yet some you don't have to take so seriously… like this one…" He sighed, and said in utmost earnesty: "No one has asked of you, Fang-dagongzi, to be able to anticipate matters to perfection. I doubt Li Fei would ever have thought of expecting you to protect him even when he was dying, so – don't think too much of it, it's not your fault."

Shao Xiaowu nodded, hard, dealing vigorous pats at Fang Duobing that nearly dislocated that elegantly thin shoulder of his. Fang Duobing remained silent for several moments more, before letting out a long exhale. "Why is it that I've never heard you say such nice words the rest of the time, when I'm actually being oh so gracious to you?"

Li Lianhua said, with a serious face: "My words have always been nice…"

Fang Duobing gave a tsk of disparagement. "What now? You haven't caught your 'thousand-year fox spirit', and yet here Li Fei has turned up dead, are Wang-gonggong and the Crown Prince still going to buy your fake priest shtick? Don't go saying I've ever known you at all when they're beheading you and exterminating your whole house."

Li Lianhua answered with cheerful readiness: "Of course, of course, if it comes to that you'll know nobody aside from the Princess, and naturally nothing of me."

necessary (delightful) note: i've omitted it for simplicity but fang duobing jumps back and forth between 我 and 老子 here, with a 本公子 thrown in for flavour. i adore this gremlin so much

#mysterious lotus casebook #莲花楼 #li lianhua #fang duobing #fanghua #mine #also hiiiiiiiiiiii hulijing #long post

[shallowseeker]

Was it you that pointed out that Dean gets showered with hate for allowing Jack to make himself into a bomb, when in season 11 his entire family was willing to let him do the same? I've been thinking about this a lot...

Sorry, not me. But I do talk about this and other Jack stuff in some of my ramblings about #SPN parenting, and I believe @jackgirlbluntrotation and I batted the tragedy of the Jack-and-Dean soul bomb parallel back-and-forth a few times, so you could look there as well.

But to get what what I think you're getting at, I think yes: Dean, is judged more harshly for this. I have some vague ideas why below. And I can't answer without being longwinded about all of it, and because I am NOT feeling very cohesive this week, behind the cut it goes...

Not meta, just random thoughts... I tried to edit it into something that made points. But I couldn't. Sorry. I'll try to revisit it later. This is like...three separate unrelated topics.

Sam & Cas + violence + getting onboard with Dean's sacrifice:

Sam and Cas do not object to Dean becoming a live bomb in season 11 to serve God's Big Kill-Amara-Cause. I haven't seen this held against Cas or Sam, and certainly not as a moral transgression. (This is not a hit piece against Sam or Cas. It's just a note that they're a little differently tied up with the idea of war-as-sacrifice.)

Furthermore, when talking about child sacrifice, I don't typically see a lot of Emma or Oskar or even Jane the Nephilim crop up in conversation, and when it does, people sometimes get annoyed about it ("I just don't care about them that much.") I do occasionally see Cas re:Jessie the Antichrist and May Sunder. Occasionally I see Sam:Emma. But hardly ever Oskar or Jane. But Dean is the caretaker. He's not supposed to cross this line of killing complete innocents. Also, as "parent," he has an obligation to Jack that adds another layer.

My point is...and I'm not certain about this...but I suspect that if Dean had overseen any of these above murders, it would be a much more daily appearance on the dash, especially Jane and Oskar, who were completely innocent.

Of note, re:Oskar.. Sam and Cas are The Two Men post-Lucifer that Rowena identifies as Love Matches. (She reserves her ire and hatred re:Oskar for scapegoat child, Crowley.) To Rowena, maybe even to the audience(?), the violence of Sam and Cas is expected, maybe even sexy? Maybe even the mark of a strong protector. Who knows? All I know is that we politely look the other way. And so does Rowena...

And I'm not trying to keep score in a murder show. Just...yeah. Something about this is tied up with Dean's role as heart/hearth/caretaker, I think. Maybe. Also parental roles. But that's always going to be conjecture. Let's look at more interesting stuff, which is how family sacrifice gets passed around:

Dean + sacrificial bomb

Dean -> The bomb sacrifice is framed as Dean's choice, even though it is just as coerced as what we see in season 15 with Jack. To make Dean's bomb even uglier, the reason Dean is the bomb in the first place is part-strategy, part-gross. "The enemy is sexually attracted to you, ergo, you can get closer to her." Dean is, once again, rendered as sexual (?) bait.

Cas -> Cas is the one who came up with the idea of the soul bomb, but he immediately shows regret and offers to die with Dean. Which releases the tension of how awful it is that he doesn't object... After this, Cas is forevermore anguished at the thought of sacrificing Dean and in season 14, he completely Objects to Dean's Suicide as Solution, even when solider mode!Jack suggests it. Of note, it may also be that in season 11, Cas put up a strong front about sacrificing for the God partially because Chuck was present(?)

Sam -> We are sympathetic to the idea of Sam being "okay" with sacrificing Dean because, at the start of season 12, we-the-audience are shown Sam's guilt over it, and that eases the narrative tension of how horrific it is.

Maybe the guilt over everything wrought in season 10 is what makes Sam and Cas more willing to not object to the bomb in season 11... But overall, for the audience, Sam and Cas's emotions about it make us more likely to look upon the situation favorably. Plus, neither of them is Dean's "parent." We'd be much harsher if John came up with the bomb idea, or Mary for that matter.

To reiterate, no one is responsible, exactly. I'm really just bringing it up as a point of contrast. Each character's relationship to war swings like a pendulum and is greatly affected by their psychological-wounds-of-the-moment. They all tend to swing the extremes, from Apple Pie Escapism to Holy Cause to Black-and-White Rules, etc. (And no one, save Metatron, has the proper mindset in season 11 with regards to war. And he gets killed for his trouble, too...)

Dean + Ma'lak box + "Jack iSn'T fAmiLy"

Notably, in season 14, Sam and Cas flipflop on the idea of sacrificing family. They strongly object to Dean climbing into the Ma'lak box--a stark and welcome contrast to season 11's soul bomb.

Of note, sacrifice MUST BE a complicated topic for Dean here... When you look at the two sacrifices, in Dean's mind, they were collectively rewarded for his hero's sacrifice/soul bomb (the return of Mary) but punished for his "selfish" non-sacrifice/Ma'lak box (the loss of Jack's "personhood" + Mary's death). So yeah, sacrifice is complicated topic. It never emotionally feels like the right thing, but in media and religion and hero stories, it's the heroic thing.

Finally, Jack's bomb is also complicated by the "Jack isn't family" of it all. Dean has more trouble sacrificing and walking away from "family," whereas Sam n' Cas, were always more pragmatic commanders by nature, and have seemed, at least from a distance, way more comfortable sacrificing their (military) family members (See: Balthazar, Rowena, etc). Thus, Dean sunders Jack from family role in order to make the loss more tolerable. It's awful! But very real.

Honestly, I think it gets at the heart of the matter that they're all soldiers struggling with soldier relationships to Cause, especially Dean. The longer Dean fights, the more he becomes like season 4 Cas or AU Earth Michael in terms of feeling insecure in his wayfinding.

The grayer morality gets, the more he can feel the tension of his own wrongdoing and the less "real" everything all feels (derealization/depersonalization). The soul bomb parallel plays into what they're ALL struggling with in season 15--purpose. Purpose/meaning is The Answer to AU Michael (and Chuck's) nihilism/nothing matters theme. But they don't even know what's real anymore.

The war and the horror and the heartbreak has dissolved all the meaning.

That plays into what each of them is struggling with in the terminal seasons. Their shadow selves and their best selves.

Sam - "Martyrdom Versus Heroism" -> You and you alone can do it / Save the world / I won't break your independence even when your safety is at stake / Saving the world at the expense of your own life is brave and noble and heroic -> (Sam's tentative answer to that problem: "I still think it's wrong, though.") He seems to realize, somewhere in there, that restricting power can be protective; that disinhibition of all boundaries doesn't look so great from the other side of parenting. He has an "aha!" moment where he understands Dean's relationship to him re:the complex nature of protection. Yet, Sam's eureka moments don't quite hit. It needs more time to resolve, possibly in the form of parenting his son, Dean, IMHO.

Cas - "Destiny Versus Genuine Hope for the Future" -> Serve the right cause and even heinous actions take on noble meaning / Live up to the big destiny / Be the God I couldn't be / If you're alive, then your life has to Mean Something Big and Awesome / Wield the totalitarian power the right way, in My Image and in Your Mother's Image and in My Chosen Family's Image, and bring the universe to its feet -> (Cas's tentative answer to the problem: "We don't love you because you're part of some grand design. We love you for being you." Cas squeezes in a late "aha!" moment only after the revelation of Jack's incoming second death. Cas rediscovers his faith, but it takes him awhile to have faith in the Small Things, not just the Big Things. Having faith in the future is healthy. Having faith in predestination is not. Like Sam, Cas is not quite given enough room to resolve, but his gets the closest of the main three.

Dean - "The Law of Purgatory Absolutes Versus the Complicated Gray of the Real World / Nothing matters I don't matter" -> Kill the right enemy and the law becomes just / "My life's work is a hoax" / I've been burying my anger all my life and it's finally spilled out like angry Leviathan chompin' at the bit for blood / So, get revenge / Take out the threat / Serve the ugly cause at the cost of our own lives so others can be happy / We are already ruined heroes / We don't matter / Save our loved ones (Dean's tentative answer: "The ultimate killer is not who I am." ) Like the other two, Dean never quite resolves. It would need another good one or two seasons to do so. The Winchesters actually helps with the above! He specifically talked about it in 1x12: The Tears of Clown. However, in SPN Prime he at least doesn't seem to be languishing in a complete loss of hope, which is one positive way to spin the finale. Nor is he switching to a complete pacifism at the expense of the lives of the two Crowther boys they wind up saving. He's not running away/escaping. He's really trying.

And finally... Through all this, there is also the parallel of giving up ("sacrificing") your son to War or to God's Cause, so that you can finally retire, which is the entire Ugly Thing with War as a Concept. Non-fighters (typically symbolic mothers & daughters) + aging fathers are sold the lie that they must give up sons to the Cause in order to preserve and enjoy Freedom (which is WHY Jack's AU Earth nightmares are directly juxtaposed with Dean's dreams of Hawaiian shirts and beaches in 13x23).

Always peace OR freedom, never peace AND freedom.

More than any other character, Jack is symbolic son. He is treated as Heir to his fathers' burdens and responsibilities. And the burden is too heavy.💔

One last set of parallels, then, with Jack AS each main character's Symbolic Fate:

Jack as doomed child (Sam; Boy-king/gold)

Like Sam at various points, Jack becomes the cursed child, kneeling to accept his execution for the crime of "murdering" his own mother.

It's the Sacred Executioner's suicide, too, because this is truly, as Cain said, "The murder that Dean would (literally) not survive." Like with Sam, Dean balks at the order from the father-God and throws the gun away. Tragically, Dean is excommunicated and tossed into a literal headstone, a motif for his eventual Death in the story. Jack dies. Dean "dies."

Sam wounds God in the shoulder and suffers a left shoulder / heart connection with God. For a time, this "infects" Chuck with hope.

Jack as tool of war / blunt instrument / bomb (Dean; Death/myrrh)

When Jack takes the rib-bomb, he becomes Dean from season 11. He feels "unworthy," so he "might as well be the hero / blow himself up to ensure the happiness of others."

The would-be victims and civilians even thank him for it. As Dean told Death, "I don't matter." Heroes matter only so much as their sacrifices are worth.

Also, in comparison to Sam, Jack is fundamentally WAR SON. Whereas Dean was love-offering-object-sacrifice chosen by Amara's hunger, Jack is simply "Simba." He is heir to the burden of Heavenly hero by birthright, outranking Sam and Dean in terms of hierarchy.

Furthermore, Jack is not Earth-son; he's a Heaven-son (the "son" to Sam's earth-son "daughter" role here...I hesitate to use gendered language, but it's about the hierarchy an the expectations of War as a Concept. Jack outranks Sam in terms of hierarchal expectations).

It's also why it's a rib that is blowing up Jack. The rib also calls to mind "Mother," or the simpler, non-gendered poetic: "Earth," as Jack is literally being sacrificed by Earth.

Like with Dean's soul-bomb, Jack survives the lighting of the fuse. Dean survives by getting defused, and Jack survives by detonating in The Empty.

Paralleling the Equalizer confrontation, Death tries to take Jack anyway, the way God took him even when he survived his initial Moriah trial. This time, it's Dean who takes action. He wounds Death with her own scythe, in the shoulder, just as Sam injured God's shoulder.

Jack "escapes" bomb death and Death!Billie, and Dean sets into motion the death of Death!Billie. (Sam's enemy is Chuck!prime and Dean's enemy is Death.)

Jack as God (Cas; God-king/frankincense)

Finally, when he takes God's power, Jack accomplishes what Castiel could not.

This is the final destiny that Jack seems unable to escape--"eating" up all the power and becoming more God than God.

Despite Cas's change of heart in the final episodes, it is ultimately Castiel's burden of Being God and the expectation of Heavenly destiny that Jack inherits when he ascends.

Since during the Equalizer confrontation, Sam wounded God, and with the rib-bomb confrontation, Dean fatally wounded Death, the narrative parallel for Cas here would be to fatally wound or seriously injure powered up!Chuck-mara. But instead, he sacrifices himself for love. (I saw a meta about SPN being a battle royale between Chuck and Cas...this lends some WEIGHT to that!)

In the final confrontation, Cas is absent (dead!KIA in this case), as Cas tends to be. (It's one of his absent!father motifs.) So Jack, as Heavenly son in terms of rank, has to stand-in for Cas, and the price is TOO HIGH. :(

It's a terrible fate. Even when Jack wins, he loses. He becomes nothing and everything.

Sorry. sorry. That was a lot. I was stuck at medical facility, so.

#spn + the three wisemen #asks #and stuff you didn't ask FOR #in MY DEFENSE #i'm dying inside #kinda #so i ramble