#well I can't tell ya

[faragonart]

We interrupt this program to bring you...

Echo

#doodles #Echo #echo project #furry #horror #Leo #Chase #visual novel #been playing this and god I absolutely love it #it is NOT for the feint of heart #it is pretty intesnse in its material so proceed with extreme caution if you intend to check it out... #there's a lot I wanna doodle from this VN... so many well described visuals... #I can't wait to get further in the story... #just chef's kiss #sorry sometimes I draw stuff from other things hahah... #I really wanna draw all of the main cast at some point... for fun and me time. #I just love me some messed up spooky scaries... #with amazingly well written character study~ #this game sure do be hitting home real hard sometimes I tell ya... #Echo vn #leo alvarez #chase hunter

[rocksanddeadflowers]

Lyf talking about Marius constantly playing that god awful violin and song to another mech and their response is that he's clearly flirting with Lyf but they explain is weird so it goes more like that scene in Twisted

"Be wary of young boys who whip out their songs, as a song is often a prelude to a dick. A song is a dick in sheep's clothing! And if you're ever in doubt just remember this song- 🎶A song is a dick in sheep's clothing! A song means a dick is on the way-🎶"

#i was gonna link the scene but I can't find the clip on it's own?? literally so rude #anyway i think the prison mech girls or all the mechs telling lyf that Marius is down bad for Lyf is hilarious #like “we all think you're super cute but Marius had the crush on you first and he's down so bad he actually dropped dead once or twice” #the mechanisms #the bifrost incident #marius von raum #lyfrassir edda #violinspector #team starkid #twisted the untold story of a royal vizier #but pls this works so well bc they even burst into song talking about a song ya know

[symbioticsimplicity]

I just had a terrible day, don't mind me projecting hardcore.

What if the most trying part of getting Billy healed after everything isn't getting him to be nice? It isn't getting him to let his guard down or trust the people who are trying to care for him, or any of the obvious things they're prepared for.

What if its getting him to recognize when people are being unkind to him?

Like reasonably he knows when people are being shitty to him, feels the anger that comes with it, but after years and years of pushing it down or redirecting it, he's lost faith in his own ability to know when his anger is justified. Its always there, and he's become conscious of it, so its really hard for him to tell when its ABOUT something.

He's been treated like shit by pretty much everyone who's known him too, so he's also shaky on what constitutes someone being actually shitty to him. Sure, he knows hitting is bad, even when its him (although that also took a while), but mean words? Ignoring his needs? Not lending a hand to help him when someone easily could? Those are all just so normal to him, its like he's blind to it.

It takes the group MONTHS to get him to the point where he can assess how someone is treating him and tell if its bullshit or not. And even then its not always accurate because he often slips into justifying why they're treating him that way.

#stranger things #billy hargrove #having a real shit day #and i couldn't stop thinking about how this would HAVE to be an issue he'd struggle with #probably the most out of the entire healing process #like what do you mean it takes valuing yourself to continue to heal???! #even if The Party start treating him like ya know a person #there's still the whole rest of the town #and I can't imagine a town that watched a teenager drown like that would be ANY help with his recovery #Eddie's gonna run into the same shit but he doesn't have as much to heal and he's already used to telling the town to fuck off #Billy however needs to learn that hes allowed to value himself enough to defend himself against people's shit #as well as how to defend himself in a REASONABLE way

[andthebeanstalk]

Ya know. I spent most of my life with horrible painful soul-crushing social anxiety.

And after about 25 years of continuous hard work, suddenly, people started pointing out - to my utter bafflement - that I had, in fact, achieved my lifelong dream of being charismatic. I'm 29 now; I feel comfortable in most social situations, and it is a very rare person whom I cannot make laugh.

I am, undoubtedly, finally, charismatic.

But do you know what I found?

I found that now that I have an understanding of which social rules serve which functions -- Now that I have an understanding of just how much damage my awkwardness was doing to people, well,

I found that, actually, my awkwardness never really hurt anyone at all. People were just judgmental dicks to me about it.

Now that I have the skill-level to (most of the time) creatively vocalize what is in my head as soon as I think it and without fear, I can confirm once and for all what I had always suspected:

I was worth talking to when I was quiet.

I was worth talking to when I was awkward, and when the words in my head took time and patience to hear, and when most of my jokes didn't land. I was worth talking to the whole time.

So I just... I hope that if you've ever wondered whether you are worth communicating with, the answer is yes. Absolutely yes. Each of us has a soul worth sharing - and if you and I were talking, I would happily wait for you to speak (or communicate in other ways) without condescending, and I would never shame you for that harmless awkwardness that so many people feel the need to violently stomp out.

You are worth talking to. You just are. And you deserve people who will speak to you with kindness, with patience, and with the basic immutable respect owed to all people.

(I talk about this with some frequency, both on tumblr and in real life. At some point, maybe I'll gather all my thoughts on the matter into one post. At some point, I wrote about my personal experience trying to build my social skill. But I felt the need to say at least a little bit tonight after seeing this other lovely post, and I'm glad I did. It will happen again.)

#original #social anxiety #autism #that one post #actually autistic #self-diagnosis is valid - in case that last tag implies otherwise to anyone. i think it just denotes i am an autistic and not just an ally. #social skills #socially awkward #socially anxious #autistic positivity #autism positivity #like actually genuinely who does it hurt if i tell a joke that doesn't land? esp if the joke is not about another person #this is not a live comedy show this is life ya gotta learn to say 'ah well they can't all be golden!' #which btw is a line i use when my own jokes don't land and it usually plays pretty well actually. i've got a higher hit rate but #genuinely they just can't all be good! anyway i go into that in the post linked at the end there i think #people can tell when you're not sure of yourself socially and a lot of folks instinctively use that against you. and i am here to say that #it's fucked up that they are doing that and they need to step off actually. imagine getting to decide on which social cues are #acceptable and then using that power to be unkind. fuckin gross. i regret so deeply each time in my life i have made that choice. #being a kid who is abused like that so often it was eager to power trip when i met kids more awkward than myself. but it was wrong #and i regret it. and i am proud to say i haven't done that in a long time and instead when i find myself with that power i try to say #actually what do YOU want? to the people shyer than me. #i'm pretty rad now is what i'm saying lol #like all the ways that having a good social stat has improved my life just made me realize what bullshit it is that this was necessary #doing what I did is not desirable or possible for everyone. they deserve just as much out of life as i do. #side note: i think I've actually surpassed a lot of neurotypicals who had never even had to think about social rules 🤣. #like I feel no competition with other people who have struggled socially but now that I'm more charming than people who were dicks to me #I do feel like fuck you!! I win!!!! I can finally see enough of the full picture to say that your arbitrary rules were FUCKING ARBITRARY #I'm also aware of the fact that not everyone finds me charismatic but i am. in all the ways that matter to me. and I'm still growing! #note to future jack: you did save these posts in your notes app on the day this was written. #tbh i am often still awkward i am just not sorry anymore if i'm not hurting ppl. 'confident and awkward' really throws 'em for a loop! XD

[monty-glasses-roxy]

Horsies in the Plex if Roxy is a horse lover before she knows they've ever existed here is really good honestly. She's off exploring, finding random horse themed things and immediately drops what she's doing to run over to Vanessa with it like "LOOK WHAT I FOUND!!!" cause Vanessa also likes horsies and is the reason Roxy likes them so much in the first place.

Like it starts with a prop horseshoe or something. Then she's finding plushies and building a little collection of them, making sure to give Vanessa one every time she finds a new one. Then she finds a random ass saddle or a bunch of prop hay bales or something. A bridle. Some bit pieces. A harness for a wagon. The wagon itself. Horse action figures. Whatever else. She's been excited about every single thing she's found so far and wonders how much more there is to find...

Opens a new storage room door and she finds actual fucking horses. Deactivated, dusty as hell, animatronic horsies.

Fucking grabs Vanessa and takes off running into areas Vanessa is absolutely not allowed to be in at all to show her all the horsies sndjjd like "VANESSAA!!! THERE'S HORSES!!!! NESSA HORSES ARE REAL!!! THEY REALLY EXIST NESSA LOOOOK!!!!"

#there's so much fun with these horsies #listen she's got a special interest that makes her super happy #all tail wags and tippy taps while her four minis get so excited for her #biggest enablers of the special interest jdjdnid #oh and for the record vanessa does NOT have a special interest here. she was a horse kid growing up and still likes them #but she's nowhere near as interested anymore #Roxy just shows up and drops a horse plushie on her so excited about it and vanessa is... #well she's shocked cause where the fuck did that come from but also what do you MEAN it's hers?? #this is the thing with roxy. her dog programming makes strong emotions really hard to contain #so she HAS to show her the horsies and she HAS to run loops around her to do it #when she's excited enough about something sitting still feels like a death sentence she's actually going to EXPLODE #she's a little bean!!! cute and adorable and a good bit overwhelming to the unprepared!!! #the downside is that thus carries over to sadness anger frustration and every other emotion she can feel #she can't contain shit. she can kind of mask with overconfidence but only if she's had time to calm down first #she's just so dog like that #fnaf security breach #roxanne wolf #plex history: horses #they have an official tag now because i love them #fnaf vanessa #yeah sure fuck it I'll tag them both shjdj #i just have this mental image of roxy running in at the end of nessa's shift to give her a pony plushie #but the day guard is there to swap with her so he bares witness to excited puppy roxy and is so fucking confused #she gets super embarrassed when she notices him but poppet and tippy are like 'hey... hes probably jealous' #and she fucking shoots off to go get him one too. fucking blasts the door down when she gets back to hand him a horsie #'tippy said you'd be jealous so i got you one too.' and he's so fucking confused cause who the FUCK is tippy??? #Vanessa behind Roxy just nodding and gesturing to go with it and when he does she's both surprised and overjoyed he likes the horsies too #still embarrassed but HORSIES!!! #'where did you even get these??' 'found em!' 'yeah be where?' 'oh ya know... around.' '?????' #vanessa just tells him to drop it cause she doesn't have a clue either and that's obviously not about to change ever lmao

[oceandiagonale]

So... i read the "please put a title" and then i remembered i made this account out of spite. Due to my bad bad memory, i don't make accounts on other stuff so often, and in some of your post, tumblr force me to register so i could see your post, soooooo. (But whatevs, worth it)

oh that's so weird, I can't believe tumblr would force you to log in just to look at my blog -- usually it lets people view posts normally so I wonder why that happens? 😨

but you have to understand, these guys will swarm me if I so much as breathe so it ends up being like

#oceandi answers #anonymous #idk next time you're forced to log in you could put like a middle finger emoji in the title as a sign of how much tumblr sucks KJFKSDJF #anyways I do my best to tell who's real or not but I'm pretty sure I've blocked at least 2 real people before by accident #funny thing is I can't even unblock unless I search up the username specifically bc I've blocked so many bots #I wonder if the people I might have blocked even realize..... be like 'hm that little pla run is kinda quiet lately oh well hiatuses happe' #well if you're real and I've blocked ya you've gotta contact me on anon to tell me your name #I don't even know why this is such a huge problem I made my own silly little set of tags so I don't show up in as many searches as possible #'oceandi answers...' 'oceandi arts......' they can't get me through the art tag how do they FIND me I'm not even some massive blogger 😭😭

[rainbow-angel110]

Sarting off this new year with the Sky:CotL Aurora Concert let's gooo

i finally managed to catch the entire thing holy crap was that an experience 0-0

If you want to experience it too, here is a link to the full concert from TGC!

I had pictures btw!

#sky children of the light #that sky game #most of these are me yelling and being in awe 😅 #if you can't tell I love the woo woos (aka Mantas) #this was an experience #lemme tell ya #i loved every second of it #btw there's more incoming lol so be warned!! #oh and if you're wondering what I said in pic number 4 #i said “Why does this song fit Luz so well tho?!” #seriously she fits “Runaway” so we'll it's kinda scary #go listen to it and tell me it's not S3 Luz-core #hmmmm animatic idea that I can't do cuz I'm lazy and can't animate lol

[theparadoxmachine]

Speaking of The Game, I think we all know who's really the brains of the operation between Starsky and Hutch.

Huggy. It's Huggy. Detectives Starsky and Hutchinson have one collective brain cell between them and Huggy Bear Brown has custody of it most of the time. And when Huggy doesn't have it, it's locked in a drawer of Captain Dobey's desk because neither of them can be trusted with it. Hutch would probably lose it in the cluttered abyss of his car and Starsky might trade it for a ferret or something.

I say this with all the love in the world.

#i know what you're thinking #what about the end of sweet revenge and the incident when they hung the lamp from the sprinkler #well at that moment no one has the brain cell and it's probably locked in the register at the pits #starsky and hutch #starsky & hutch #you can't party in a hospital room while holding a brain cell so they left it locked somewhere #starsky would have traded the crown jewel of valencia for tad cooper #and he'd be right #I'm telling ya hutch he's a dragon! #starsky i don't care what that vagabond told ya that's a lizard! #1 year later #told ya! i told ya he was a real dragon! #hutch has to use every trick in the book to keep him from getting a girl dragon and still fails #they wind up with a litter of baby dragons that starsky refuses to find homes for #starsky plops one in Hutch's lap and announces that one's name is Kenny #he bonds with his namesake in spite of himself #little kenny turns out to be a girl #i don't know how this became a galavant au #oh well #tbf they are both very smart but they are also both very stupid #in completely different ways #but that's their charm

[huccimermaidshirts]

.

#my sister is a goner y'all #she asked me to send her wms to put it as her ringtone because 'it's summer' and she needs a summer tune #and she keeps singing it #and the other day she was searching vids from our concert to see if we missed anything #and every time we talk about the concert she tells me we were so lucky we got to see him and experience this #said to her 'told ya you'd become enamoured after the concert' and she was like 'yeah well I can't lie and i freely admit things! he's nice #and i appreciate his whole aesthetic and fashion a lot more now' #mission accomplished after 5 years😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#the burdent of not being understood. its annoying and i dont like it. also its my fault #because if u say something serious in a light tone ppl dont kno wtf to do. prob bc they dont kno if ur delusional or not and like dont #wanna upset u. but then its like annoying bc they still walk away worried and im like ok neither of us r happy bc u dont get how serious #thjs is but i cant tell u how serious it is without making u worried. and y should i make u worry if u can't fuckinf do anything abt it? #so its just annoying. which is to say i went to a retirement lunch today and it was as awkward as i imagined #bc it was me and my boss and a couple professors and i dont do well in these group situations anything so i spent a lotta time spaced out #not hearing anyone bc the noise in the room was messy and my brain was peeling away from my body. but whatever i was there. and my boss #drove us both and on the way back she started the. im worried abt u talk. which i feel like she was too hesitant abt it. which like i get #bc its awkward to bring up but like i dont give a fuck so idk i feel like u gotta start those conversations like. this is how watching u #makes me feel. idk whatever. and i was honest but like it was a 5min car ride so i didnt have thr time to be like ok heres the deal. ya #kno? so now im all annoyed bc my brain is fucking unbearable when i feel like i havent made my thoughts clear. and now its like. do i bring #it back up? or just let it go? whats to be gained by talking abt it? all that i have to say is upsetting bc im very aware im being self #destructive. thats the point. i get boried and my brain only lets me do like 2 things so i use those things to make myself insane. bc at #least then i can observe the symptoms of the stress im exherting on myself. and i kno that not good bc idk how to stop and ppl r always #like u gotta relax. what will help u relax? and im like u dont fucking understand. i cant regulate thr amount i like things. if i like #something i like it so much it becomes stressful. and i like drawing but its not relaxing. its a thing i have to do and its stressful bc im #constantly thinking abt making things perfect and never meeting thst mark. my happiest memories arent even happy moments theyre just times #where my brain stopped for a second and i could just breathe for a minute. so like i cant relax. i dont like anything a normal amount so #the solution must be medication. but my brain has decided im not allowed to fix this problem until i move away so like 🙃 and like i was #giving little bits of this in the car but its like lady i kno its a problem. ive known its a problem for years. the self awareness doesnt #help. except that it keeps me from doing anything extremely bad bc for me if i at least kno where it comes from i can b like ah yes. this #is fucking stupid lol. but i dunno how me sharing all this helps bc im sure it only raises the worry. but like its fine. i mean its not but #like ya kno. and i was kinda explaining how upsetting it is for me to have my schedule changed without warning even if its for things other #ppl would see as good and i wasnt thst firm abt it so it was: but i can't just do nothing for u! and i was like ugh fuck it fine whatever. #and like do i bring that back up bc it is like a respect my boundaries thing but like i feel like if i were anyone else it would be good #to drag someone out of their comfort zone but im being dragged into situations i find profoundly isolating bc i cant seem to function in #groups. ugh its just fucking annoying bc i dont want her to feel bad. i appreciate the effort but like ugh its exhausting. whatever. it was #anyway. im just annoyed thst i should have explained things better. also im annoyed thst i constantly forget most things taste bland and #then im annoyed when i hsve to eat bland things. i think my nose doesnt work right bc i csnt smell much either #unrelated

[coquelicoq]

just a few entries after "baby-foot" in the french dictionary is "badaboum". which is not, apparently, solely a catchphrase from the seminal early aughts american television program "the sopranos".

#OBVIOUSLY i have heard and used 'bada bing bada boom' outside of the sopranos #but i always just assumed it was a reference to the sopranos!! 😩 kill me now #looked it up on merriam-webster and it's apparently been in use since the 1960s #(actually the first use of bada bing was 1965; the first use of bada boom was 1991. the sopranos premiered in 1997) #can't tell where it came from though. or where it came from in french either #the meanings appear different in english and french as well #boy. page one of the B section in this dictionary is something else i tell ya! #french #lecture du dico #my posts

[avatardoggo]

pretty sure my psych prof boosted my exam mark significantly bc there's no way i passed on my own 🥹

#SO to professor abeare he's a real one frfr #honestly such a compassionate guy when i told him about the funeral and everything he was like when do YOU want to do the exam :') like sir #stop showing me basic kindness im going to screamcrybarf all over your plaid suit #and i honestly tried studying during my reading week but between getting ready to speak at the funeral actually speaking at it and the afte #r it was too much pressure #and i was even telling my roommate how i felt like i failed and she was like 'well considering the circumstances i think you shouldn't be #too hard on urself and i- 🥺 #ppl need to stop being kind to me my heart can't take it #so ya highlight of my week is getting a 50% on my psych exam when i guessed basically every answer #vk overshares in the tags #thanks for everyone that's praying for me also it means a ton <3!

[mrfoox]

I'm going to struggle to sleep and get up tomorrow

Curse it all

#miranda talking shit #At one hand i liked the conversation i had with fabian and i think i got some answers to questions ive been wondering about but im also lik #Unpacking all this.... So much to unpacking and to be put in a folder in my head where does it all go... Still hate how #He hit me with the biggest ... Maybe in the universe and i can't deal with it. No I'd be relieved and accept an no fullstop but he had to #Add in the.... Idk actually lol i dont have a reference and i would like to know how it is crossing boundaries in our relationship #Whag the fuck man.... You really gave me the strongest 'i think youre into me and it worries me' and then nullify it with an 'idk how i #Feel sometimes id like to explore more' how am i supposed to... Handle that information... I had been going around telling myself #What he said to me 2019 is the way he still feels and me thinking he might think more is just me being paranoid but then yeah #What a clusterfuck. I mean to me it wont change anything in the broader picture no matter what i care for him ya know? But now thats... An #Whole other thing like. Should i try to act differently? Be more careful? Or would that be unfair bc then id do what he've been doing to me #I will quote him again 'miranda i think if both of us got an gf/bf at the same time this would solve itself' i joked and said he could find #Me one and I'll find one for him. But yeah i think that would ... Be a solution in an ideal world. Idk how to do anything man #At one hand i think he's overestimating how much he's on my mind but also its true. I spend a lot of my social time with him so obviously #I think about him? But i also have a reference on how i am... With people i have crushes on and who im in love with and how o think of thoe #Its just so scary to think about how i am his reference ... To... Well basically a ton of things... Im not a good reference unless you want #An abnormal reference. I guess im anxious I'll somehow ... Ruin him or something. This was a big conformation that i am his reference to #Women and close relationships with women and i am not made for that... Most feminine tjing about me is being sappy and giving compliments #And encouragement. Otherwise im basically like ... A dude. Guess it also scares me that he knows me. I know i know him but the fact its #Mutual is aw man... Being known is still a struggle. He wasmt completely wrong is his logic bc he knows me i think too much about people #And things. I understand im so anxious bc i care about him and im worried about losing him or pushinh him away but shit #Hes sleeping rn and is at peace with this probably. He doesn't dwell on it. He even said hes been thinking about this... Bc he began to #Think about what i could be thinking? So its not even his own thoughts but thoughts about whaf i could be thinking? ?? Whack and im likebro #Flattering that you go to that length but also... Literally what??? Cant tell if hes somehow projecting or if this is genuinely how he was #Thinking but damn. Boy does have some confidence at least? He's such an fool. I love him but holy shit he blows me away sometimes

[heavenknowsffs]

This one is gon be nsfw and personal

#sorry guys i just need to vent? #and also laugh about the fact my friends actively contribute more to my sex life than me #like yesterday i thought this guy was cute and my friend went up to him and said 'my friend thinks youre cute' #and ended up at his house and i'm just thinking like ? if she didn't do that i would have just looked at him in the club #and that would be it bc i never act on anything #and the reason why is bc i just don't particularly enjoy sex bc it's lathered with trauma and pain for me #like pain i mean physical pain which is NOT normal and i feel bad bc i can't really make it enjoyable for my partner #bc obviously if you're in pain the whole time you're not gonna want to do it unless ya know that's on purpose #but yeah everything went well i just think it's funny how i don't think about sex at all or pursue it bc it brings me so much pain #yes i know i need to go to the doctor but i also don't have money and the public healthcare system says 'oh no you're fine' #every appointment i had within nhs about endometriosis or pain in general related to this they're always like oh no you good #i went to a gyno in a private clinic and she was like oh boy something is defo up in here this isn't normal #so tell me HOW I'VE BEEN GOING TO THE HOSPITAL FOR YEARS TELLING ME YEAH YOU GOOD AND THEN THIS LADY TAKES ONE LOOK AND KNOWS #thanks bitch i been telling you i was in pain thank you for ackowledging it #anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk rant ovee #i just think people should be able to enjoy sex and have a healthy sex life rid of unwanted pain and have medical treatment

[altruistic-meme]

i make good life decisions >:] i swear >:]]]

#i scheduled an appointment to get a tattoo in december and i bought a bunch of button down shirts!!! #and a pizza :D #the shirts are to go under sweaters and sweatshirts and im so excited about it #as soon as it stops being 90F every single day then those are all i'll be wearing >:] #and the tattoo!!! im stupid excited for #it's going to be. not cheap. and not small. #but i'm excited nonetheless!!! #idk if i'm going to get my other tattoo between now and then...... i probably might #since decemebr is in what?? ~3 months???? #and the tattoo will be kinda big and on my leg :') no one will even be able to see it until it warms up again dksfhksdhf #but tbf that's true about my arms as well aha #but anyway the other tattoo i want is smaller but not Too Small ya know? #i should've asked about wordart when i was at the shop oops #anyway i was debating who to tell about getting the tattoo and i think i will probably not tell my mother until after #bc i know she's going to complain about it and be against it bc she doesn't like tattoos in general #unless they have some deep and permanent meaning #and like yeah it means smth to me. bc yr means smth to me. and aftg means smth to me #(and the aftg one will have more than one meaning but i can't explain that to her yet) #but anyways yeah i don't need to deal with her thoughts and opinions on it tbh #i'm also nervous bc it WILL be big and like im excited but also nervous af #cus i like the idea!! i do!!!! i drew the idea for it myself tho the result will be more realistic #but idk i guess it's just the idea of 'this is permanent and will be on your body forever' and the fear of commitment #ya know things that have been instilled in me from a young age via my mother and fatehr's distaste of tattoos #the usual. #anyways that's been thoughts with abram i've been awake for too long already and i may go out to get a coffee #or hm. i may have a caffinated tea here...... or dr pepper #idk #shh ac

[the-chickenshit-oddity]

a little while ago, one of my tells for my anxiety and/or temper got kinda out of hand and i needed a new one, so i chose to snap my fingers. today was such a shit day that my fingers hurt just from how many times i snapped them today.

#stupid #ya know like #im so good at being messed up? #well actually #im so good at being type A that i straight up studied it until i got good at being messed up #didja know you cannot suppress a tell #like #you cannot not have one #if you manage to get rid of it then a new one will pop up #like if you stop smoking but now you chew your nails or pens or something #you need to replace it because you can't just leave a blank spot in your behaviour #anyway #it's better to choose the one you want than realise a couple months later that you do that new thing and everybody's noticed but you #is my logic anyway #i assume i'm right