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#to drag someone out of their comfort zone but im being dragged into situations i find profoundly isolating bc i cant seem to function in
opens-up-4-nobody · 9 months
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#ay ay ay. i dont wanna do my job so bad. it makes me so unhappy also i fucked up a thing by letting someone take part of a culture when i#shouldnt have. it happened so many months ago that i fucking forgot abt it and then the person emailed me abt when we received the stain and#i thought it was someone from another project so i cc'd my boss who was like. wait. what the fuck is this? and now its like oops sorry but#like wtf am i supposed to do abt it now? she askrd me to take some when i was rushing out of someone else's lab and i was like what? sure.#whatever i dont give a fuck i feel like im dying every second i stand in this room. i didnt even think to ask to share it which is what i#should have done. oops. cant do anything abt it now other than feel abt abt causing drama between labs. ugh.#i just wanna cut all ties with my old work. theres no joy there. only pain and anger. which makes it hard to work with it but the sooner i#do. the sooner i dont have to fucking deal with it anymore. ugh. also i really need to find a therapist but my insurance changes in like 18#days so i might as well wait for the semester to start. ugh. like i can feel the pull of my bad habits trying to drag me down and i dont kno#how to stop them. like its weird. i noticed while my parents were here. they can just do things and enjoy stuff. and everytime i do#something i feel like im holding my breath the entrie time waiting for it to be over and for what? its not like i had other stuff to do#i just needed to kno when things were gonna end and i dont deal well with flexible situations. which makes it hard to do things. so its#like do i succumb to my control freak lil bubble of not doing anything and being miserable or do things outside my comfort zone and be#miserable? one of those things is way easier. plus i dont even kno anyone here so its like wtf do i do?#try to make friends with my sometimes roommate maybe. i just need to corner her and be like hey i need to establish a dialog with u so i can#tell u that if i seem like a weird hermit im not trying to b standoffish i just dont kno how to do human interaction well. can we b friends?#id like to b friends but if i dont talk now then ill get stuck not talking ever. which is whats happened with past roommates... god my 1st#roommate must have thought i was so fucking weird. ugh. point is. these bad habits must stop. and i really need to get work done so i can#never think abt that shit ever again. at least now that ive moved i can run up the side of a mountain when im frustrated#unrelated
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kkydult · 18 days
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— Lights out
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non idol!minghao x introvert!gn!reader - fluff + mischief(?) - 1.5k
a/n. i haven’t written in a while, i hope you enjoy this im pretty much done with school so i might be active again soon !!
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“You can’t be serious right now — you brought me here” you whine at your friend, one of your closest friends at that, she had this big plan on taking you out to actually live life after being down for months over nothing and now…
“I’ll make up for it. Please, just go try talk to people, they’re my friends you’ll get along well… I’m so sorry” she pushes you gently with soft shoulder pats towards the entrance of the building where the main event was taking place, you turn back to her with a frown. It really seems pointless if she’s not there, you don’t even want to talk to people.
She gives you an apologetic smile paired with a gentle wave and there she goes waving her hand on the main street for a taxi abandoning you finally. You decide to suck it up for at least half an hour, she can’t really get mad at that considering she abandoned you.
The soirée is of course on the rooftop so you’re in the elevator for 3 minutes at least before you get there, 30 mins will fly by. Naturally you find yourself by the bar while everyone else has a place in the crowd, dancing, chatting, it all seems fun but you’re out of your comfort zone, the alcohol should help but you’ll be out before it hits.
Minutes passed nothing changed, a few drunk guys tried to make conversation after noticing your “loneliness” but they quickly realized you were alone for a reason. As soon as you get up you stumble on your feet, bumping into a new stranger, the surprised look on his face as he holds your arms to help you up makes you actually want to talk, but the daydream is swiftly caught off by someone else, a girl this time and she’s not too pleased with your clumsiness. Being light headed is a curse.
“Get your hands off him” she snatches your arm away from his grip, the look she gives you confuses you so much considering you did nothing in the situation, you’re just about to apologize and call it a day only for her to snap at you once again, “You’re so embarrassing being all over him like that” before you can defend yourself she walks away dragging him along with her, your eyes meet his and an amused smile creeps on his lips, you scoff in disbelief and return your focus on getting out of there.
Only reason you had to get up the next morning after such an exhausting night was for your regular art class and while you could easily cancel, you needed it to stop your chronic bed rotting. You get there a few minutes before the class starts and watch as the room fills up gradually. Your eyes linger on one person in particular, he looked familiar but you couldn’t place it at first until he catches you staring and gives you that smile again, your eyes shift back to your canvas and you’re rethinking getting up this morning.
The class is like background noise and your eyes are completely fixed to your canvas till the assignment starts. Something is telling you you’re overreacting because you’ve never seen him before this and now after that incident he’s all of a sudden your classmate and the worst part is he’s directly in front of you, he can probably tell you’re hiding behind your canvas. You finally focus on the task at hand, glancing at the model and analyzing in shape before replicating the movement on your page, the urge to look up at him is literally the only thing that’s constant in your mind so you take a peek between strokes. First glance, he’s not looking at the model, second glance, he’s literally looking at you, third glance, why the hell is he staring at you?
He’s making this harder than it should be, he should focus on drawing. It’s making it hard for you to concentrate and it wasn’t easy in the first place, you look up in his direction again just to be sure, this time he’s not looking but his gaze shifts like he could feel yours and for some reason you don’t look away, he tilts his head slightly with a soft smile as to ask why you’re staring and it snaps you right back. Now you’re trying to distract yourself with the drawing but it’s barely effective when you’re basically under the spotlight, you can feel the heat spreading all over your face.
Once the class is over you debate on confronting him or just leaving and never turning back of course you choose the latter but it’s never that easy, you’re about to step out right when your professor reminds you it’s your turn to clear up the class and obviously you’re paired with him, Minghao. The class gets empty quickly and now you’re alone together and it feels so awkward, you feel obliged to say something dumb.
“Were you staring at me?” you ask completely avoiding his face as you arrange the materials into their respective cupboards, your head jolted in his direction when you hear him snicker as if you were joking, he looks at you with that smile still plastered on his face enjoying every moment of this exchange.
“Why would I be staring at you?”
“You tell me, I literally saw you” his smile grows and for some reason it makes you nervous like your stomach is acting weird, he’s making this feel so weird to you cause why would he be staring at you? he’s literally across the room but it feels like he’s pulling you in with his remarks,
“oh you saw me?” you can only muster out a hum in response with a slight nod, why do you feel so little? he sighs finally grabbing his coat from the hanger, “You were just in my view, don’t worry” and just like that he’s gone leaving you there with a wink and a stupid statement, whatever you were gonna change classes anyway.
Makes absolute sense that the only time you’re thinking nonstop about a guy is when he literally made fun of you in your face multiple times. It’s probably been two weeks since you saw him last and his face, his voice, his stupid smile have been on heavy rotation in your mind daily, it’s especially annoying considering you have no interest in seeing him again, it was too embarrassing for you last time it would only be worse. You’ll get over it he’s just a hot guy.
“WHAT A GUY?!” you turn over and there she is, you don’t even know how she got into your house but she’s gonna make this a big deal,
“Please no.. I don’t want to think about it” she pouts for literally a second then gives you the most demonic smile ever, “I have the perfect solution, actually that’s why i’m here. To make up for last time. Yay!” she drops her bag that’s probably filled with dresses and makeup on the floor and drags you off your comfort zone.
Just like that you’re back at 2 weeks ago at the front door of a nice apartment only this time you won’t be going in alone, she’s holding on tightly to your arm you can tell she’s excited as you make your way in. As you walk through the crowd you realize she quite literally knows every one and so every corner is a new conversation, it almost starts getting repetitive.
“Haoo! Oh wow I didn’t expect to see you here” You look up to greet this new friend and it’s him, you almost say it out loud out of shock. As soon as your eyes meet you feel a jolt across your heart it feels so silly to be so weak just from a man’s gaze and yet. He wasn’t just looking at you he was taking in every detail of your face.
He turns back his gaze to your friend, greeting her back with a soft kiss on her hand right before bringing his attention back to you, a soft smile on his lips as you let him take your hand to place a kiss upon. His gaze lifts up at you and that smile resurfaces forcing you to divert your gaze.
“Are you still embarrassed?” he asks softly keeping his eyes on yours, his eyebrow raising slightly. You turn over to your friend and she’s already gone to continue greeting others, you sigh before looking back at him and he breathes out a soft laughter letting his smile linger as his eyes travel down to your lips,
“Okay i’m sorry, I didn’t think you’d leave really. I was just teasing” you feel even more embarrassed from that, you really thought you wouldn’t have to see him again. The movement of the crowd drawing you closer and closer to each other, he can probably feel your breath on his chest, the way he’s looking at you is only making it heavier.
“I didn’t leave cause of you.” he tries to hold back his smile this time looking away with his eyes shut before coming back to you, he nods understandingly making you roll your eyes at him,
“Just you know… don’t avoid me anymore, it was fun teasing you but I actually want to get to know you”
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katasstrophy · 1 year
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he did so!! it was so cute!! I love horror too so it was fun!! But the funniest part was when we were walking out he got a text from Isagi and co. to come to this sports bar to watch Noel Noa's game that night. Rin rolled his eyes and huffed while I lightly bullied him to agree bc damn does he need friends. What finally got him to agree was me getting down on one knee and 'proposing' to him to take me with him to the sports bar to romantically watch a football game together~ and it caused .2/3
OMG NONNIE DEAR IM SO SORRY I ACCIDENTALLY POSTED THE FIRST PART OF UR ASK WITHOUT ELABORATING ON ANYTHING ASJSHSBDKD IM A DUMBASS BUT I HAVE A PICTURE OF IT THANKFULLY PLS FORGIVE MY SILLY SAUSAGE FINGERS !! 😔🙏
1/3:
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2/3:
the ask up top!! ^^^^
3/3:
Rin so much secondhand embarrassment, he grabbed me by my arm, flustered and annoyed as all hell, and dragged me away but not before I screamed, "HE SAID YES!! :DDD" Boy was gonna throttle me. But we went to the sports bar!! He met up with friends and got to bully people lightly and talked football strategies with Isagi while I fed him nachos!! Told Bachira about our date and getting Rin to the bar, and he said 'wowwww Rin might actually kill you' 'I know man it's gonna be so hot' .3/3
i hope this isn’t too confusing i tried my best to remedy the situation again i’m really sorry :(( but !!!
omg that is saaauurrr cute. rinnie baby dating someone who’s just as into horror as he is waaahhh that’s some it couple energy right there <3 i’d bet y’all would try to find the most obscure horror films once you both get bored of the mainstream stuff lol. the biggest question before movie night starts is do you actually wanna feel the adrenaline (because ppsshhh you don’t get scared nuh uh🙄) or make fun of the shitty jump scares iconic.
(i can’t do horror for the life of me but i’m rooting for y’all!! i can just be his true crime girlie<3 which rin would find so strange and weird he’d be like “so you get scared from fictional murderers but real life murderers are okay?” “well i guess if you put it like that yeah” “…. what’s wrong with you” LMAO)
OMG NOT THE PROPOSAL PLS HE’D HATE IT SO MUCH (lie he hates that he’s blushing because he secretly loves your weird ass antics). pls he needs someone to gently coax him out of his comfort zone 🥺 like yeah his quote on quote friends are loud and stupid and blablabla but he can suffer through it spend time with them<3 my fave part was definitely the ‘i know man it’s gonna be so hot’ IM CRYING nonnie you get it yeah absolutely. rin being mad just does something to me ya know 🥴 i think it’s the eyes and how dead and uninteresting they look 😍 yummmm amiright?? ;))) (no he loves you so much okay he just has the emotional intelligence of a lamppost cut him some slack)
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24032023; 0100
Its been a long while..  There’s been so much that has been going on in my life the past year. It’s been the worst and I feel like Im at the worst point in my entire life. Maybe not fully
Words are so impactful and powerful, but words at the same time can make or break a situation - when people take it out of context or perspective, when they see their arguments, issues and problems to be bigger than anything. The fear of leaving the comfort zone, or the fear of simply accepting that you messed up and you need to find a solution or accept help from someone else. It’s painful and difficult - I understand and empathise.  Actions on the other hand speak louder than words, but what happens when these same actions are misinterpreted or misunderstood. A simple good action could be denoted as an action of harm, resentment or backlash. 
It’s a difficult and painful world we live in - where each and everyone of us are fighting our very own demons, struggling to barely stay afloat or even worst make it past to another day. It’s tiring and exhausting. We fear of being judged or being a burden to another person. But what good will it bring if all we do is feel and not attempt to act accordingly to better the situation. 
I’d be lying if I said I was taking everyday with stride. I should be grateful and blessed for everyday that I get to wake up, where I get to go to a job that I still have and enjoy despite it’s pains, where I have food and the financial capability to treat myself to a good cup of coffee everyday. Cos some people leave in their sleep, some get laid off cos of the current economy, some people don’t even have enough to eat a decent lunch. . Yet if I was called to go - as in die. I will leave everything and everyone in a heart beat. Cos I am tired, and despite being thankful for everyday that I have - I feel like I’m struggling to be happy, to be content, to be at peace. I am tired and I’m worried I will give up one day. 
I’m a fighter, I fight so passionately for what I feel and want. But this same fighter is afraid that - one day I will just drop my shoulders and not care anymore, than any discomfort in life will affect me no more. 
I’m always expected to understand and give way and be more accepting of the situation. To see it from their point of view and understand their struggles. But isit selfish of me to ask the same? I do - without fail, every time see it from the other persons point of view, see how and why they  may feel or act or say certain things. I mould myself to better fit to them or their mood or situation, so that they will not feel the extra anxiety or burden. I understand, or at least I feel I really try to. 
But is it wrong - wrong to feel understood and needed? To feel like I deserve more? Isit selfish of me to think that? 
I’m tired - and honestly, I really want to give up. I know I was heading towards a downward spiral - hence I really got myself checked into therapy. Has it been helpful? Yes - but isit making me a better person? IDK really.. It takes 2 hands to clap, it’s stupid to hold up one hand and not be met with the other hand - Im just left hanging. I will hold up this hand until the other hand meets mine, but all I can hope for is that my hand will not get tired as much as my heart and body is. 
Nothing hurts more than hearing the other person say they feel bad that they dragged you into something dark and bad with the full intention of knowing what they are doing - without being met with a solution. 
But I guess that’s the mystery of life - pain and suffering and how we learn to morph ourselves to better handle situations instead of expecting the other party. 
Cos why try to change others who are set in their ways and habits and thoughts when you can change your perspective on things - the danger of it - not being able to feel anything in the long run - being immune and numb and actually saying well “ it is what it is”. . . 
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#Fucking loooove ittttt when i ask for help w communicating w my dad and then when i express how i feel like#everything i do and everything i say to him is wrong and bad and shows im selfish and horrible#this person says 'relationships go both ways' and im like uHHHHHHH#i dont have a whole lotta empathy for someone who's abused me for years actually (bc at this point im mad as fuck)#and this person goes 'abused?' at which point i literally start to dissociate and lose the ability to think straight about what's going on#so i say im sick and tired of people knowing nothing about me and having to explain myself to everyone over and over again#while nothing ever sticks#and this person has the audacity to go and whine that i cant expect every single person to know everything about me???#i think 3 sentences in my file could summarise all that clearly enough to give people some guidelines but ALRIGHT APPARENTLY THATS TOO MUCH#meanwhile she keeps pushing me to make some stupid decision and im like i literally cannot think anymore right now and she keeps pushing it#and im freaking out internationally as im struggling not to zone the fuck out and remember how last time this happened#several people threatened to drag me out of the office instead of ya know. comforting the person whos obviously very upset#im so fuckimg tired of the stupid bullshiy#sure keep whininh at me in your nails on a chalkboard voice! sure!! thqt fucking helps right?!#im so fucking mad about this whole situation like imagine fucking dissociating while trying to arrange very practical shit like what the fuc#and then being in a room where the supposed professional doesn't even know what dissociation is lmaooo#im sorry but i feel like a trauma 101 class is essential in a group home for young folks like this one#im so tired of being treated like a picky little bitch when i just want to have professionals who know what theyre doing.#if u can tell the entire team about a client's diabetes and make a management plan u SURE AS HELL can make a plan for me too#on top of everything else im having like proper relivings of shit which rarely happens and is really upsetting#im like safe n shit and about to go crawl in bed and go to sleep and ill be fine tomorrow#but it really fucking SUCKS to be in this place#i feel like some stupid edgy teen even just talking about this but that's also really fucking stupid
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watchmegetobsessed · 3 years
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SLEEPLESS
a/n: omg! it's been so long since i last wrote something for harry so it feels a bit weird but in a good way to be back. i've been spending more time offline so writing hasn't been going that fast like before, but im working on a few other stuff too! just please be patient with me, im trying my besti swear! so now enjoy this oneshot of two oblivious and stupid roommates who start sharing a bed...
pairing: Roommate!Harry x reader
word count: 8.1k
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Living with three boys has its perks but also a lot of downsides too. It’s not how you planned, you were set to move in with one of your friends from second year, but she bailed on you last minute, leaving you with no place to live when most of the houses were already taken for the next at least one year. You were bracing yourself to sleep under a bridge or something already when your heroes came along.
You went to high school with Harry Niall and Louis, but you weren’t exactly in the same friend group, just knew about each other. Then you ended up in the same Lit class freshman year with Harry and he was basically your pass into their little group. You hit it off pretty easily and you always wondered why you didn’t become friends before college. Later you had two more classes with him in the second semester and it was just all a coincidence that he found out about your living situation.
“Why don’t you move in with us?” he prompted one afternoon when you were studying together in the library.
“I’m not sharing a room with any of you, Harry,” you sighed, shaking your head.
“You wouldn’t have to. We had a fourth mate living with us but he dropped out about a month ago. You could take his bedroom.”
“Are for real? You should talk about it with the boys first, don’t you think?”
“I’m sure they wouldn’t mind it. They like you too and if I’m being honest, the place could use the touch of a woman,” he smirked and you just rolled your eyes, but you were incredibly thankful for the offer.
So after talking with Niall and Louis about it and once they gave their amens on the situation, you officially moved in with the three of them.
You’d be lying if you said there hasn’t been times when you thought about choosing the bridge, living with boys is not exactly a dream. They are messy, sometimes loud and oblivious about certain things women do and need. You’ll never forget Niall’s face when you packed the shelf above the toilet with your tampons and pads. The horror in his eyes as he examined all the different sizes and types.
“But why so many? I don’t get it why you need the large ones and the mini ones too,” he huffed.
“Because I vary them according to the strength of my flow.”
“Bless you,” he scoffed and just walked away.
They tend to leave their clothes around the house and they don’t always realize when it’s time to let some fresh air into the place either. Harry has a sixth sense wanting to use the bathroom when you’re in and Louis always forgets to get rid of his spoiled food from the fridge. Tini things that surely got you thinking if it was a good idea to move in with them. But then there are times when you can’t even imagine sharing a home with anyone else than these three idiots.
The way Harry always leaves you a cup of coffee on the counter when he has an early class on mondays and wednesdays, how Niall always waits for you to get home after your night shifts at the restaurant you’ve been working at, but he always just says he was watching Supernatural on TV. You love that Louis goes out of his way to get you your favorite pastry for breakfast on sundays when he goes for his morning runs. But the absolute best is that you never feel alone or bored with these three around. Something is always happening and they make sure to involve you in everything, making you feel like part of their little pack.
Tonight is Thursday and Thursdays are movie nights in your home. It’s been a tradition since the first week and you haven’t missed any of them. Sitting on the couch at your usual spot, you laugh as Niall growls in annoyance when you suggest to watch another rom-com.
“Not again!” he protests, sitting on the floor by the coffee table you and Harry thrifted a few months ago after the previous one was broken at a smaller party held in the house.
“Why? I bet Harry would love it!” you grin, glancing at the guy in talk who is now entering the room with a big bowl of popcorn.
“Of course he would, because he is a pussy! And the two of you always team up, dragging Louis with you so I can never watch something I enjoy!” Niall whines as Harry sits next to you, not too bothered by his friend’s cries.
“Come on, I bet you enjoyed Crazy, Stupid Love last week!” you laugh, remembering how he whined for the first part, then fell asleep at the end.
“Love, if you think that was enjoyment, I wouldn’t want to be your boyfriend,” Niall scoffs and you gasp at his reply.
“Hey!” you snap at him, but can’t help laughing. This is how it always goes with you and Niall, the non-stop bickering can sometimes drive Harry and Lou insane.
“Okay, so what do you want to watch?” Harry asks, throwing some popcorn into his mouth as he gets comfortable, an arm resting on the back of the couch behind you, the other one busy with the snack in his lap.
“There is this new horror I’ve been dying to see!” Niall’s blue eyes light up right away, but you’re fast to break that shine.
“Nah, no way. I’m not watching a horror movie.”
“Why not?”
“Because I fucking hate them and they scare the shit out of me.”
“That’s like the whole point!” he protests, but you shake your head no again.
“What are you fighting about again?” Louis asks, walking into the room after his quick shower, the smell of his body wash filling the room for a few moments.
“I want to watch a horror movie, but Y/N is a little baby and she doesn’t want to.”
“I’m not a baby! I just don’t enjoy watching people get killed or demons sucking the life out of someone!” Niall just rolls his eyes at your response.
“But it’s always what you or Harry wants to watch, why can’t I choose just this once?”
“That’s not true, we watch movies you like too!” you retort, but Niall gives you an unimpressed look. “We watched that crime thing, that was your choice!”
“That was three months ago, Y/N,” he sighs and as you do some quick math you realize that he is right.
“Hey, he has a point. Let’s just watch what he wants this one time, yeah?” Harry curls his arm that’s been on the back of the couch around your shoulder and he pulls you to his side, squeezing you gently.
“But I hate horrors,” you pout, knowing well that it’s already kind of settled, you lost this battle.
“It’s just a movie. And if you get scared in the night, you can sleep at mine,” he offers with a wink that surely makes your heartbeat fasten a bit.
If you’re being honest, you’ve always had a tiny crush on Harry, even back in high school, when you didn’t really know him. He was the cool guy, but not the douchebag type, more like the one that was nice to everyone and earned their respect and liking. Getting to know him just proved that he really is a great guy, but you figured he would never feel the same way about you. These three guys only saw you as their sister and that was in a way kinda worse than being friend zoned, but there’s nothing you can do about it, so you just decided to come to peace with your situation. But that doesn’t mean you don’t get flustered when you see him wander around the house in just his boxers or when he gets a little touchy with you, which happens a lot, because that’s just how he is. Hands on your shoulders, a little squeeze on your hips, the gentle touch of his fingers on your back, they happen all the time and they get your pulse up every time. You can only hope it’s not that noticeable.
Niall finally gets what he wants and you agree to watch that stupid horror movie. It doesn’t start off too bad, but it quickly escalates and makes you shudder every time the screen gets a little darker or the music is foreshadowing that something is about to happen.
“Jesus fuck!” you jump a little when the killer appears out of nowhere in the scene.
“You alright?” Harry asks, peeking down at you.
“I fucking hate this dude,” you mumble, rubbing your face with your hands, to get your shit together. Harry chuckles lightly next to you, his arm pulling you to his side close and you gladly sink against him, the warmth of his body giving you some comfort and a sense of safety.
Your eyes are on the screen, but your mind is dancing around how his fingers are delicately running up and down your arm, drawing circles and little shapes on your skin. It could put you to sleep easily, even with the woman screaming on the screen after seeing her husband get killed.
“Just imagine the guy with a funny mustache,” Harry murmurs, leaning closer to you so he doesn’t bother the other two guys with his comment. “Or maybe in a ridiculous outfit.”
“Like… in a onsie?” you ask, squinting your eyes at the screen.
“Could be, yeah,” he chuckles quietly. “Just imagine him running through the woods in a onsie with bunnies all over it.”
You can’t push your laughter down, covering your mouth with your hand so you don’t bother the others. Harry just smirks, giving you a squeeze as you’re still melted against his side on the couch, legs pulled up to your chest, while his are spread out in front of him.
“Definitely not that scary,” you giggle and Harry hums in agreement.
“Would you mind getting a fucking room, you guys? You have two, in fact!” Niall snaps at you playfully, when you start laughing again.
“Sorry, sorry!” you clear your throat, your cheeks heating up at the comment, but luckily it’s dark enough to hide your embarrassment. Niall is always quick to make dirty jokes and tease you in a way that makes you nervous, especially when it involves Harry as well. He has made plenty of comments about you and Harry since you’ve moved in, implying that the two of you sometimes act like a couple or that you should hook up. Harry is always quick to shake them off, that’s how you know he couldn’t even take the thought seriously.
At the end of the movie you feel like it wasn’t bad, not with Harry holding you close at least.
“Will you be screaming tonight, Y/N?” Niall teases you, making you roll your eyes at him.
“Either way it’s gonna be your fault.”
“I can live with that!” he laughs, bidding his goodbye before he shuts the door of his bedroom behind him.
You do your usual evening routine, get ready to bed and by the time you’re done in the bathroom all the boys have retired into their rooms. The hallway stands dark in front of you, only a tiny bit of light coming from your bedroom since you left your bedside lamp on in there, but you still can’t help the eerie feeling that washes over you. That movie didn’t sit right with you and now you have to face the aftermath of it.
Switching the lights in the bathroom off you sprint into your bedroom, pictures from the movie flashing in your mind of the killer just jumping out of nowhere. You shut the door and lean your back against it for a moment, taking a deep breath. Tonight is going to be long.
No matter how hard you try, you just can’t fall asleep. You’re way too alerted, opening your eyes at the tiniest of sounds around you, which is unfortunate, because your window is looking over the main street, unlike two other rooms in the house, that are facing the small backyard. Harry and Louis have the luck to have those rooms.
Every time you’re about to fall asleep something from the movie sneaks into your thoughts and you get scared to death. Soon, you realize you won’t be able to sleep on your own tonight.
Sitting on the edge of your bed, you wonder if Harry really meant that offer that you can sleep with him or not. Part of you is convinced it was just a joke, but when you hear someone shouting down the street you push your doubts aside and you quickly find yourself making your way to Harry’s room.
You knock on the room lightly, not wanting to wake anyone else up. The last thing you need is Niall seeing you go into Harry’s room in the middle of the night.
No answer comes from inside, but you won’t just leave it at that. Opening the door you’re facing another dark room, barely making out the furniture, but you already know the route by heart. Making it to the bed your eyes finally adjust to the darkness and you can see Harry lying on his side, sleeping peacefully. Squatting down you place a hand to his shoulder and give him a tiny shake.
“Harry?” you call out quietly, but his answer is just a huff. “Harry, it’s me,” you try again, squeezing his arm. He furrows his eyebrows before slowly blinking his eyes open, finding you in his sight.
“Y/N? What’s wrong?” he asks in that groggy, low voice you love hearing in the morning so much.
“I can’t… Did you mean that I can sleep here if I’m scared?” you ask, afraid that he might just have a good laugh and send you back to your room. For a long moment, he just blinks at you before nodding his head and you feel relief washing over you.
“Sure,” he hums.
“O-okay then I’ll bring a blanket and take the floor and--”
“Shut up, you are not sleeping on the floor,” he growls, grabbing your wrist and pulling you into bed with him as he scoots over, making you space on the mattress.
It’s a bit weird at first, lying in bed with Harry, especially because it’s just queen sized, so there’s not much space between the two of you, but it seems like Harry doesn’t mind it so why should you?
Your nerves are a lot calmer with Harry next to you, but maybe it’s still because of the movie or because you’re a bit anxious about the whole situation, you just still can’t relax enough to fall asleep.
“Y/N, no one is gonna kill you here,” Harry speaks up surprising you because you thought he has already fallen back asleep.
“I know, I know,” you whisper, trying to sound convincing, but you can’t fool anyone, especially not him.
He huffs deeply and before you could realize what’s happening, Harry’s arm is curled around your waist, pulling you against him, spooning you from behind, the warmth of his body wrapping your figure almost entirely.
“If a murderer comes, they will have to fight me first, alright? Now sleep,” he mumbles against your hair, squeezing you gently. All at once, you couldn’t care about killers and dark shadows around you, because Harry was right there, holding you tight and there was nowhere you wanted to be more than right there.
You slept like a baby. Harry’s closeness kept every nightmare away from you and the morning came with ease. Harry’s phone wakes the two of you up at eight, because he has a morning class at 9.30. The two of you are completely tangled up in each other, lying on your side facing each other, Harry’s arms are wrapped around you, while yours are hugging his waist. Groaning at the sound of his alarm, he rolls to his back to reach for the phone on the nightstand and then he finally turns it off. It’s bright outside, the darkness of the night finally long gone. You’re still groggy when Harry rolls back, his arm coming back around you like it’s the most natural thing in the world and in a sense, it feels like that. But as you both slowly wake up, you realize that you might be a little too close. Slowly but surely you let go of each other, rolling to your back, staring up at the ceiling.
“Hope I didn’t kick you in my sleep,” you smile at him, peeking over at him, hoping to break the awkwardness of the situation.
“No, don’t worry about it,” he chuckles, rubbing his eyes, before pushing himself up and off the bed. You follow him with your gaze as he steps to his dresser and grabs a pair of clean underwear. “I’ll put on a coffee while I shower, want one too?” he asks, though you know he could make one for you anyway.
“Sure, thank you,” you nod and he nods back, yawning as he walks out of the room, leaving you lying in his bed, a bit confused and kind of aching to be held by him again.
Two days pass by, everything is going as per usual, neither you nor Harry brings up that you spent the night in his bed that one particular time. Now it’s saturday and you all were planning to go out, but a sudden storm has cancelled your plans, so the evening turned into a cozy, lazy hangout instead of a wild party at some frat house.
Louis decided to work on a paper that’s due in two weeks, Niall has been relentlessly swiping on Tinder while you and Harry are spawled out on the couch, watching some shitty action movie that was on TV, since you both were too lazy to choose one and put it on. Deep down you’re a little happy you don’t have to spend the evening in a crowded, smelly house, drinking cheap alcohol.
Harry gets up from his seat to grab himself a drink just when Niall growls in annoyance.
“What is it?” you ask.
“They keep unmatching with me after we’ve talked a little!”
“Have you thought about the reason?” you smirk at him, knowing well that Niall probably isn’t the easiest to talk to, he surely takes it too far too soon.
“Well they probably don’t like that I ask them if I can go over,” he shrugs, making you laugh.
“You’d go over in the pouring rain?” Harry asks, returning to his spot on the couch. He puts his drink to the coffee table and instead of sitting into his previous position, leaning against the arm of the couch, he lies down, laying his head to your thigh, making your breath hitch for a moment.
“Of course not!” Niall rolls his eyes. “But I thought it would make them think I would do anything for them.”
“It makes you seem desperate,” Harry retorts, earning a questioning look from his friend. “What? It does!”
“No, it doesn’t.”
“Yes it does,” you nod in agreement. “Going over in the middle of a storm just to fuck? Sounds like you’re having a hard time finding someone.”
“Women are so fucking complicated, and for what?!” he growls, before storming off to his bedroom, like an angsty teenager, leaving you and Harry alone.
He doesn’t move, his head stays on your thigh using it as a pillow. His curls are tickling the soft skin on your thigh and you have to fight the urge to play with his hair or scratch his scalp. You stay like this for the rest of the movie and when he gets up you almost want to pull him back.
“Alright, I’m fucked, I’m gonna go to bed,” he yawns, stretching his arms out into the air as he heads into his bedroom. “Good night, Y/N.”
“Night, Harry!” you call after him as you watch his frame disappear down the hallway.
Sighing, you slide down on the couch, cursing under your breath that you’re still so hung up on Harry. You really thought that you had it under control, but lately those damn butterflies are acting up in your stomach at everything he does.
“I’m pathetic,” you mumble under your breath just as the sky rumbles outside with a blinding lightning, making you jump with a squeak. “Shit,” you huff, already knowing that falling asleep will be a pain in the ass. Again.
You’ve always hated storms, they make you think that something bad is about to happen, a tree is about to fall into the window or a lightning will blow up the building. It’s kind of stupid, you know it, but you just can’t help it.
Tossing and turning, you jump every time a lightning flashes somewhere outside and a few seconds later the thunder rips through your whole body, almost making you fall off the bed.
“Oh God,” you let out a shaky breath. You have no idea how long it is until the Storm finally stops and you’d really like to have a good night's sleep. So pushing your anxious thoughts to the side, you get out of bed and head over to Harry’s room once again.
It’s such a deja vu from a few nights ago, as you gently knock on the door you wait again, but this time you actually get an answer.
“Yeah?” you hear him call out from inside and you slowly open the door, peeking your head inside. Harry is lying in bed, his head propped up against the headboard as he is scrolling through his phone. “Y/N? What’s wrong?” he asks, putting the phone aside as he sits up.
“I just, I-I know it’s stupid, but I was thinking… I don’t know--”
“Y/N, just tell me, alright? Come on in,” he gestures for you and you slip into the room, closing the door behind you before sitting to the edge of the bed next to him. “What’s wrong?”
“I can’t sleep during storms…” you admit, looking into his eyes, hoping he gets the hint where you want to head with it. He stares back at you for a moment before he scoots over, lifting the covers up, giving you the green light to join him.
Relieved, you climb over to him, making yourself comfortable as he wraps the blanket over you, his arm immediately coming to cradle you, this time pulling you to his chest so your head is laid upon his shoulder, a hand gently placed onto his hard chest, probably right above where his butterfly tattoo is adorning his abdomen.
This is now easily your favorite place. Safe and tight in Harry’s arms, protected from anything and everything, like you’re in a little bubble as soon as you get on his bed.
Lightning strikes outside again and you shiver a little. Harry probably notices it, because he tightens his hold around you, as if it’s his way telling you that he is here and nothing bad is gonna happen. Eventually, you’re able to shut the outside out and only focus on Harry’s warmth, the touch of his hand on your arm and his even breathing. And then finally, you drift off to sleep.
This morning is different from the previous one you spent here. There’s no alarm since it’s Sunday, neither of you have anything in particular to do, so you wake up feeling rested, the Sun shining through his half drawn in curtains, no trace of last night’s storm can be noticed from where you’re lying in bed, the sky is as clear as ever. Sometime during the night you got tangled in a way where Harry is the one now cuddling you, his head lying on your chest, hugging you as if you were a giant teddy bear, his leg thrown between yours, lightly snoring against your sleep shirt. You can only see his mop of hair and the urge to play with them is back, but this time, you give in.
Leaving one hand on his back, you move the other one to his unruly locks, gently playing with one before you comb your fingers through it, lightly scratching his scalp. Harry hums in pleasure, shifting from his dreams back to reality, but he doesn’t move, just keeps humming as you massage his scalp.
“It’s not a good morning, it’s the best,” he mumbles groggily, making you chuckle at his words.
One of his hands is flat against your ribcage and the damned butterflies start dancing when you feel his fingers gently stroke your side as you keep playing with his curls. This feels so idyllic, as if you’ve been like this forever. You wish that was true.
Groaning as he stretches, Harry rolls to his back, making you instantly miss his body pressed against yours. He rubs his eyes, sighing deep as he blinks up at the ceiling a few times, then he turns his head to the side, looking at you.
Just when he is about to say something, outside his door it sounds like someone just broke a pile of plates and it’s followed by Niall’s usual annoyed growl. You both get out of bed to go and check what happened, not even thinking about how it might appear that you both are coming from Harry’s room in the morning.
Harry flings the door open and there is Niall, collecting pieces of a plate from the floor, his breakfast scattered down the hallway as well while he curses under his breath.
“What happened?” Harry asks, picking up a bigger piece from the plate.
“Fucking tripped,” he growls back, glancing up just for a moment, then back down, but then he processes that you’re standing behind Harry, in his room, in the morning. “What the fuck are you doing in Harry’s room?” he bluntly asks, quickly forgetting about the mess he just made.
“What?” you ask nervously, your pulse quickening in an instant. Harry stands up, seemingly not too bothered by Niall’s question.
“You slept in his room?!”
“She did,” Harry answers, leaning against the doorframe.
“Wait, are you two fucking?” Niall’s eyes widen, snapping back and forth between you and Harry.
“Just because two people sleep in the same bed, doesn’t mean they are fucking, Niall,” Harry chuckles, seemingly amused by the situation that’s got your stomach knotted. Louis’ door opens and he walks out, his hair a little messy, but already dressed, a mug halfway filled with coffee in his hand.
“Wha’s this circus out here?” he asks, looking around, his eyes scanning over the mess on the floor.
“Did you know these two are fucking?” Niall asks him and Harry lets his head drop back at his words.
“Are you?” Louis simply questions and you shake your head no.
“We are not. Y/N can’t sleep in a storm so she came over to mine.”
“Funny, she doesn’t come to me when she’s scared,” Niall scoffs.
“I never came to you because you don’t understand that sleeping together doesn’t mean sex,” you retort, though your ears are practically burning from the rising anxiety inside you.
“Wait, whoa. This wasn’t the first time you two slept together?”
“She was scared after your stupid horror movie too,” Harry shrugs.
“Wow, so are you guys a thing now or what?”
“Niall!” Harry growls and you’re not entirely sure what bothers you more. Niall’s shock and interrogation or the way Harry seems so cool and unbothered, like it’s no big deal. Maybe because for him it really isn’t, it’s only about the sleeping, nothing else, even though the cuddles are a little beyond the lines of friendship.
“What? I’m just asking the important stuff! Am I not allowed to tell dirty jokes to Y/N because you’ll cut my prick off?”
“You shouldn’t tell those anyway,” Louis chimes in and you nod in agreement.
Seeing that the conversation is just getting more and more awkward with each passing moment you decide to pull yourself out of it. Pushing yourself past Harry you mumble an excuse me before rushing back into your room, the three boys eyeing you curiously as you shut the door behind you, finally putting a physical barrier between you and them.
You shouldn’t be this offended, it’s not like any promises were made and you should have known better and not fall for him more than you already did. It was silly of you to think that there was anything more behind these nights spent curled up against each other, or when you woke up tangled and melted together. It was never what you hoped it to be.
Then and there you decide it’s better if you distanced yourself from him, or at least go back to how it was before. No bed sharing, no cuddling and preferably no bitter feelings.
It all goes well, because you have a pretty busy week after that day, you always have something to do and it’s not like you spent the night with Harry randomly, so it was evident that you stayed in your room so far.
But about a week later another storm was threatening to strike. The sky was gradually darkening all afternoon and now it’s only five o’clock, but it feels like eight. It’s Sunday, you’re quite exhausted since you were working until three. Niall was out somewhere with some of his coursemates and Louis went home for the weekend, won’t be back until Tuesday. It’s just you and Harry, who’s been sprawled out on the couch in only his sweatpants while you’re making yourself an early dinner so you can go to bed soon and have a good night’s sleep.
It doesn’t take long for the rain to start pouring, you’ve just gotten out of the shower when the first thunder rips through the place, making you gasp in fear. Harry’s head snaps around, looking in your way where you’re standing at the bathroom door, a questioning look in his eyes, but he doesn’t say a word. Ignoring his gaze, you just make your way into your bedroom, not even thinking about what could be on his mind. Is he thinking about whether you’ll ask to sleep with him again or he doesn’t care about it at all?
By the time you are ready to go to bed, the storm is fully raging outside, making your insides tremble every time you see a lightning or the thunder breaks the quietness in the house. You make one last trip to the kitchen, finding Harry leaned against the counter as he eats an apple.
“Going to bed early?” he asks as you pour yourself some water.
“Mhm,” you nod, avoiding looking at him.
“Everything alright?”
“Sure, I’m just tired,” you force a small smile onto your face just when a thunder rumbles outside, making you jump. Harry is watching you curiously and kind of expectantly, but you’re doing your best ignoring it. Instead, you just grab your water and head back to your room. “Good night.”
“Night, Y/N,” he calls after you, and you can feel his burning gaze on your back right until you close the door behind you.
Your plan to sleep a good ten hours goes right out the window. It doesn’t seem like the storm is about to calm anytime soon, so you’re stuck to suffer through it on your own. You’ll be damned to go to Harry’s, that would be an instant heart break and you just can’t take that right now. Long, torturous hours pass by with you lying awake in bed and part of you wants to go running over to Harry, but you force yourself to stay. It’s not happening tonight.
You fall asleep sometime after two in the morning when the thunder and lightning have stopped. Unfortunately, you need to wake up early in the morning, so when your phone’s alarm shakes you out of your sleep, you feel like absolute shit. Dragging yourself out of bed appears to be the hardest thing right now. As you make your way out, you are met with an all too familiar figure sitting at the small dining table, two cups of coffees in front of him, one obviously made for you.
Harry’s eyes snap up at you curiously, taking in your terrible looks as you head to the bathroom.
“Morning,” you mumble under your breath.
“Good morning’,” he nods in your way and though he doesn’t say anything else, you can tell he has a few thoughts about your current state.
Once you’re done with your morning business in there you join him at the table, barely able to keep your eyes open.
“Rough night?” he asks, eyes examining your face.
“Kinda.”
“The storm?”
You don’t answer, just nod your head. He remains silent, but you can feel that he is dying to ask another question.
Why didn’t you come over?
You’re glad he doesn’t actually asks you, because you wouldn’t be able to give either a normal answer or say anything without starting to cry. Instead, you just grab your coffee and head back into your bedroom to get ready for the day.
That week on Friday all four of you are invited to a party. At first you want to cancel, but some of your friends from classes will be there too and it’s been ages since you’ve been to a great party, so you decide to tag along with the boys.
For the first half of the evening you go your separate way, spending time with people you don’t actually live with and see every day. One drink follows the other, though you make sure you don’t go farther than getting tipsy. You’re not in the mood to deal with a nasty hangover in the morning.
Sometime after your third or fourth drink you run into Niall and he pulls you into their little circle that also involves Harry. When he sees that you’ve joined them, his eyes light up and goes out of his way to get next to you.
“I haven’t seen you in ages!” he whines, slurring his words as he wraps an arm around your shoulders to keep you at his side. He is definitely drunk, that you’re sure of.
“It’s been just about two hours, Harry,” you roll your eyes, but can’t push your smile down. You’d be lying if you said you’re not enjoying having him so close. Your dynamic hasn’t been the same since you stopped sleeping in his bed. Not that it was such a regular activity, it only happened two times.
“But I missed you, I feel like we haven’t… haven’t talked in so long!” he huffs, knitting his eyebrows together. “Have you been avoiding me?” he asks leaning closer, so your conversation can somewhat be private.
“That’s silly. Of course I haven’t!”
“But it feels like that,” he pouts with glossy eyes. “You’d tell me if something was wrong, right?”
“Sure,” you nod, the bitter taste of lying filling your mouth.
“Alright, cool,” he smirks and pulling closer he kisses into your hair before he engages with the rest of the group again, keeping his arm around you as if it wasn’t a big deal.
For the rest of the evening you simply don’t leave his side and not because he doesn’t let you, but because you don’t want to. Harry is not the only one missing the other, this week you’ve noticed that even though you’ve been keeping yourself busy, your thoughts always took you back to one particular, curly haired boy. Despite everything that’s been going on, he is your friend first and foremost who you love spending time with and talking about anything and everything.
Both of you are intoxicated, Harry a bit more than you, but you’re having a blast playing beerpong or ruining Niall’s chances with girls he is trying to pick up. You’re genuinely having an amazing time and it wouldn’t be the same without Harry.
Arriving back home your little group splits, everyone using the bathroom after the other and you’re the last one in line, because you always take the longest. By the time you’re finished, Louis and Niall are both locked up in their rooms, but Harry’s door is still open, some dim lighting illuminating the hallway. As you approach it, you find him throwing his dirty clothes into the hamper, but his head perks up when he sees you.
“Good night, H,” you sigh, quite tired and in need of a good sleep, but before you could head into your own bedroom, Harry grabs your wrist and pulls you into his. “What is it?”
“Sleep here,” he simply prompts, already leading you to the bed.
“Why?”
“Because I want you to.”
“I-I… I don’t--” you stutter, feeling flustered from his offer.
“Come on, you can’t say no,” he tells you, already crawling under his covers and then he holds them up as the invitation.
Taking a deep breath you follow him and make yourself comfortable in your almost usual spot. Harry’s arm falls over your waist in an instant, spooning you from behind as he hums pleased. But a few moments later he lifts his head, looking at you with concern in his eyes.
“You know you can say no, right? I was just joking.” Looking back at him you give him a small smile. Even drunk he makes sure you aren’t doing anything you don’t want to, but how could you not want it? You’ve been aching to sleep next to him all week, especially after the last storm when you suffered alone in your room.
“I know, Harry.”
“Alright, okay,” he nods, his head dropping back to the pillow. “I missed this,” he mumbles with a sigh.
“Yeah?”
“Mm, sleeping alone sucks,” he hums and in a split second, your heart breaks.
Harry didn’t want to sleep with you, he just wanted to sleep with someone and you were the one there. It has nothing to do with you.
You want to blame him, you want it to be his fault that your chest is now aching, knowing that it truly doesn’t mean the same thing to him it does to you, but you know you can’t. It wouldn’t be fair, so once again, you’re left with a sinking heart wrapped up into Harry’s embrace that suddenly feels burning.
“Good night, Y/N.”
“Good night, Harry.”
When the morning comes Harry is still sleeping deep beside you, an arm thrown over your waist, puffing warm air against the side of your head with every breath he exhales. Seeing him so peaceful warms your heart, but then you realize everything that happened last night, how he only used you because you were available and not because he wanted you.
You don’t want to wait for him to wake up and face him, your emotions would surely bring the best out of you. So carefully, you unwrap yourself from his hold and sneak out of his room, back into yours.
There’s no way you can face Harry right now, so before he could wake up you leave, planning on spending the day in the library, working on your assignments, hoping the school work will take your mind off of how badly you’ve been friendzoned.
Sometime after eleven Harry actually texts you asking where you went and you just tell him you have a shitload of school stuff to deal with. He asks if he can join you, but you tell him you’re with a group of your classmates, even though you’re sitting in an almost entirely empty library. He luckily doesn’t push it and leaves you to be. Hopefully he’ll be fine when you take another step away from him for a while to get your head straight and sort your emotions out.
You get home quite late, but not late enough, apparently. Because walking into the house you find the boys clearly getting ready to watch a movie.
“Just in time!” Niall beams. “Join us, Princess!” he laughs, grabbing himself a cola from the fridge.
“Oh, no, I have some things to work on--”
“Come on, you’ve been in the library all day, you can have a break!” Louis tells you and you know you won’t be left alone, they are just so persistent.
So you join them in your usual spot, which is of course next to Harry, though you’re trying to avoid his gaze that hasn’t left you since you arrived and by now you’re certain he knows you’re avoiding him. There’s a reason why he asked you last night if you’ve been doing it lately, he is not stupid, but this is not the time to deal with it.
With your inner crisis bubbling inside you, you completely forget to ask what you’re watching. A few minutes into the movie it becomes quite clear however.
“Is this a fucking horror movie again?” you ask, snapping at Niall, who just starts laughing.
“Don’t worry, I’m sure Harry will gladly let you sleep in his bed tonight,” he teases, making your whole face heat up at his comment. Harry slaps his chest before he turns to you with concern filled eyes, but you pretend like you see nothing, turning back to the screen with your jaw clenched.
You’re fucked.
The movie is a fucking shitshow and leaves you traumatized. When it’s over, you think about why didn’t you just stand up and go into your room when you realized it’s another horror. For a change, this one was filled with demons and monsters that hide in the shadows, just what you need before going to bed. In the night. In a totally dark room.
Exiting the bathroom you’re already planning on watching something lighthearted and cheerful in your room, hoping that would make you forget the movie you just saw and give you the chance to actually sleep.
Walking past Harry’s room you see that it’s still open and you catch him expectantly looking at you when you appear in the doorway as you walk down the hallway, your eyes meeting for just a split second before you disappear from his sight and shut your bedroom door without a word behind you.
No matter how many random videos you watch on YouTube, some scenes from the movie are just imprinted into your mind and they have you trembling in fear. Every shadow looks like a demon or ghost, hiding in your room, ready to haunt and kill you and you’re on the verge of actually crying. It might not be only because of the movie, more like everything else that’s been bottled up inside you, added to the fear the movie has brought to you.
Shutting your eyes closed you try to take deep breaths and for a bit it actually seems to help, but that is until you hear the door opening. It gives you an instant heart attack and you can’t keep your tears back anymore.
A whimper leaves your mouth as the door opens and you can only see a shadow entering the room, totally not recognizing Harry in the dark.
“Y/N, hey, it’s just me! It’s okay!” he quickly clears, seeing how shaken up you are. He rushes over to the bed, one hand cupping your cheek, the other one finding your hand and before you could think, you grip it hard.
“You scared the living hell out of me!” you cry out, sobbing.
“I’m sorry, I just wanted to check on you.”
Silence sets between the two of you that’s only momentarily broken by your shaky breaths as you try to calm yourself down.
“Why didn’t you come to mine after the movie if you were so scared?” he then asks, surprising you with how straightforward he is.
“I didn’t want to bother you,” you mumble, blinking the remaining of the tears away as Harry stares down at you intently.
“Why would you think you’d bother me? I like having you there.”
“But it’s… Doesn’t matter,” you sigh in defeat, but it just concerns him even more.
“No, tell me!”
“Harry, just go back to your room. I’ll be fine.”
“You definitely won’t and I’m not leaving until you don’t tell me what’s going on,” he protests firmly and you lose your patience to keep lying to him.
“You just wanted someone to sleep with yesterday, okay? You didn’t need me. And… I don’t want to depend on you more than I should.”
Harry stares back at you with a blank expression and you feel like this is going to be the end of your friendship. You have to come clean about your feelings and he’ll tell you that he doesn’t feel the same way. But then he speaks up and the tables turn faster than ever.
“Y/N, I wanted you to sleep with me last night. Not just anyone. You.”
“What?”
“I really thought we have been on the same page, but apparently, we’re not even in the same book,” he sighs, confusing you even more. “Wasn’t it suspicious how things have been between us lately? The way we slept, the mornings, did you think these are normal things to do?”
“I-I thought that… it didn’t mean anything to you.”
“Well it did,” he replies and you breath hitches in your throat. “I was trying to take it slow, see how you’d react to everything and I thought you were feeling the same way. But then last time you didn’t come to my room when there was a storm and I thought that was your way of telling me that you want to pause whatever’s been going on.”
You’re just blinking in shock, listening to his words. This is nothing you expected.
“But then you seemed like you opened back up last night and you agreed to sleep with me, thought we were back on track, but then you were nowhere to be found in the morning, avoided me all day and now you would have rather spent the night crying here alone than to come over to me. What did I do? Just tell me, because quite frankly, I have no idea what we are doing anymore, Y/N,” he sighs, clearly tired of this insane game you’ve been playing without even knowing.
“So… you did all of this, because… you…”
“Because I like you, Y/N. But there’s a possibility it’s already way more than just a strong liking,” he admits with a soft chuckle that melts you in an instant.
“Oh god, I could cry again, but not out of fear this time,” you tell him, making him laugh as you scoot closer to him on the mattress. “I feel the same way, Harry,” you softly tell him, your hands finding the base of his neck while his hands have wandered to your waist so now he is pulling you towards him until he ends up in his lap. His face is now so close, and even in the dark, you can see the cheesy smile on his pink lips.
“You’re not saying this just to keep me here because you’re scared to be alone, right?” he asks, clearly joking, earning a wholehearted laugh from you.
“No, but I guess that would be a major benefit of it.”
“I’ll protect you from all the demons and killers under one condition,” he smirks, his face already inching closer, his nose is already touching yours.
“Yeah? And what’s that?”
“I get to kiss you.”
“Deal.”
You barely say this one little word, his lips are already on yours, kissing you in a way that almost knocks all the air out of your lungs. You press yourself up against him, his arms curling around you, holding you tight as if he is already protecting you from everything that scares you, though you can’t really think about the stupid horror movies now that you’re kissing Harry.
He pulls you down with himself making you lie on your back as he holds himself up above you, his lips parting from your just enough so he can look into your eyes.
“How about I kiss you every time you feel scared?” he prompts, pecking your lips gently as you pull your legs up and his hips settle between your thighs, while your hands dance down his back.
“Alright, I’m in,” you smirk at him and for a moment he just stares back at you, smiling wide, in complete awe that it’s finally happening. Then he cocks his head to the side before speaking up.
“Are you still scared?”
“Very,” you nod. “I’m shaking.”
“Good,” he grins before his lips press onto yours again.
Thank you for reading! Please like/reblog if you enjoyed!
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rax-writes · 3 years
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Fandom:  MCU Pairing:  Baron Helmut Zemo x Reader Warnings:  Sexual intercourse with a female-identifying person with a vagina + a bit of sugar daddy Zemo vibes at the end Notes:  Y’all... don’t judge me. I have a power kink, and Marvel did me dirty by randomly deciding that Zemo is fifthly rich royalty. And my girl @henrysmorgan​ did me even dirtier by actively encouraging my attraction to this fucker. So, blame Marvel, and blame her. // This is kind of really fucking long, and I didn’t edit it much, because I wanted to get it posted before episode 4, in case that episode flips the script. So, potentially some editing issues, and slightly rushed writing. Hopefully it’s alright, but please let me know if I screwed up anywhere. // Lots and lots of TFAWS ep. 3 spoilers
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When Bucky texted you to ask that you meet him in some dusty, old, abandoned-looking car garage, you certainly didn’t know what to expect. All you knew was that an old friend needed your help, so you intended to be there.
It had been a few months since you’d last seen him, and even longer since you’d participated in any sort of mission, but you suspected that was what you were walking into. Being exposed to the Mind Stone had granted you the power of telepathy, which meant that SHIELD was quite keen on persuading you to work for them. They trained you in martial arts and hand-to-hand combat, and you went on miscellaneous missions a handful of times. They put in a lot of effort to convince you that it was your moral obligation as an “enhanced individual” to help them with these missions, but you ultimately decided that that simply wasn’t the kind of life you wanted. Instead, after the Blip, you began working a desk job for SHIELD, which is when you crossed paths with Bucky, helping him with paperwork associated with his pardon, and the two of you formed a friendship. But SHIELD kept trying to coerce you to get back into the field, constantly badgering you about it and making it clear that you weren’t wanted if all you were doing was paperwork.
The truth is, you weren’t cut out to be a superhero, and you had no desire to be. It didn’t help that your entire country had been reduced to rubble several years prior, leaving you with a bottomless pit of homelessness in your heart. So, you left SHIELD, and started a life in Berlin, where you were content to live out your days as the owner of a small bakery, residing in the small apartment above your shop.
That is, until Bucky Barnes dragged you into a particularly sticky situation, with a certain Baron Helmut Zemo.
You knew that helping Bucky and Sam would throw a colossal wrench in the life you’d created for yourself in Berlin, but after they explained the situation with the super soldiers, coupled with Bucky’s puppy dog eyes, you found yourself refraining from storming out of the building the second you saw Helmut fucking Zemo.
“We need you to keep an eye on him. You don’t have to tap into his mind 24/7, we just want a heads up if he’s going to screw us over,” Bucky explained.
"Look, we really need him. We’re obviously scraping the bottom of the barrel here, otherwise he'd still be in that cell. And neither of us want to be packing a criminal around like a rich bitch's chihuahua, so we need you here to make sure we're not gonna get bit," Sam explained.
"Fine. But you both owe me," you relented, and they both took sighs of relief. You glanced at Zemo, locking eyes with him for several tense moments. He gave you a polite smile, giving off the impression that he had nothing to hide – which he didn't, as his thoughts showed his intentions were pure at the moment. "We're good for now. He just genuinely wants the opportunity to take down these new super soldiers."
Sam and Bucky nodded, visibly releasing tension from their shoulders as they moved to head out, now reassured that Zemo was truly on their side. Meanwhile, Zemo eyed you with curiosity and awe, murmuring, "Fascinating."
The four of you walked on the landing strip toward a private jet, owned by Zemo.
"So all this time you've been rich?"
"I was a Baron, Sam. My family was royalty before your friends destroyed my country," Zemo explained, before glancing at you with a small smile. "But you knew that already."
"Wait, how did she know that?" Sam asked, then turned to you. "How did you know that?"
"I am Sokovian myself. I was certainly not royalty, but I lived there for my entire life, until it was destroyed," you explained, stopping outside the jet as Zemo greeted the elderly butler, Oeznik, in your native language. It made you smile to yourself; it had been years since you'd heard it spoken. Zemo shot you a grin when he noticed, and when you took a peek into his mind, you saw that he understood exactly how you felt.
As the butler handed Zemo a flute of champagne after you all boarded the jet, the Baron smiled politely as Oeznik stated, “Apologies if that's a little warm. The fridge is out, but I will see if there is some good food in the galley.”
Zemo glanced as you sat across from him, then in Sokovian, Zemo told Oeznik, "Another flute for the lady, please. And if the food does not pass the smell test, give it to the gentlemen."
"It's good to have you back, sir!"
As the man retreated to the cockpit, also in Sokovian, you noted, "You are a mischievous man, even more so than in your infamously criminal ways."
"You will find that there is more to me than meets the eye, angel," he responded coolly, the Sokovian language rolling off his tongue like honey. Before you could respond, admittedly enjoying speaking Sokovian, Sam grew tired of everyone speaking a language he couldn't understand.
"Why don't you tell us about where we're going?"
After a tense exchange between Bucky and Zemo, followed by a discussion about Marvin Gaye, Zemo finally got to the point: Madripoor. You exhaled slowly, resting your forehead in your palm in exasperation.
“You couldn’t have invited me on a mission to Cancun? Or Paris? Why must it be Madripoor?” you asked Bucky, who shot you a tight-lipped, pitying smile, silently apologizing for what he was dragging you into.
“What’s up with Madripoor? You guys talk about it like it’s Skull Island.”
“It’s an island nation in the Indonesian archipelago. It was a pirate sanctuary back in the 1800s,” Bucky explained.
“And upon seeing it, you would see that times there haven’t changed one bit since then,” you added.
“It’s kept its lawless ways. But we cannot exactly walk in as ourselves. James, you will have to become someone you claim is gone,” Zemo said.
You frowned as you caught a glimpse of Bucky’s thoughts as he went silent. Fear. Anxiety. Disdain. Apprehension. You reached across to rest your hand on his shoulder and give it a reassuring squeeze. He shot you a small smile, then looked out the window.
Upon landing in Madripoor, one of Zemo’s contacts met you on the landing strip with a new wardrobe for you, Bucky, and Sam, and Zemo explained that each outfit was per his instruction, carefully chosen to fit the role each of you would be playing in Madripoor. One by one, you took the covered clothes hanger to the bathroom of the jet and changed. Bucky was first, stepping out in some sort of leather number, looking eerily similar to the Winter Soldier you’d seen in photos. Sam was next, donning a three-piece suit of burgundy and gold. He looked sharp, although he was immediately complaining about how ostentatious it was. And finally, you stepped into the room and closed the door behind you, unzipping the covering on the hanger and revealing your “carefully chosen” outfit.
“Ich werde dir im Schlaf die Eier abreißen, Zemo!”
Bucky choked on his water and Zemo chuckled under his breath, while Sam looked between the two in confusion.
“I don’t know what she said, but she sounded pissed,” he observed, eyeing Zemo suspiciously.
“She informed me that she intends to remove my testicles in my sleep.”
“And why is that?”
“Perhaps because he’s chosen to parade me around Madripoor like a cheap whore,” you said angrily, stepping out of the bathroom with your hands on your hips, glaring at Zemo.
“That dress is by Armani Prive, and your shoes are Louboutins – far from ‘cheap.’ And you do not look like a whore, the dress is merely more revealing than what you are used to,” Zemo argued, standing and walking over to survey your outfit. He seemed to be enjoying what he saw, judging from the way his eyes raked up and down your body, but you didn’t dare check his thoughts to confirm or deny it.
If you were honest with yourself, he was right. It was a very nice dress; plum purple, matching the color of Zemo’s turtleneck, with long, fitted sleeves, all of it made of the softest silk you had ever touched. It was fitted at the top but flowy from the hips down, with a low balconette-style neckline, showing more of your chest than you were accustomed to, although you pulled it off quite nicely. It ended just above your knees, which was fine, as you sometimes wore skirts of that length. Overall, the luxury of it and the low-cut neckline ensured that you were out of your comfort zone, but you looked stunning – and expensive, despite your spite-fueled initial claim.
“I thought the color would look nice on you, and I was right. And I knew that the flow of the fabric at the bottom would allow for this,” Zemo said, his hand gingerly trailing from your waist to your thigh, where he pulled up the hem of your dress slightly to reveal the edge of the Glock strapped into your thigh holster. He smirked as his suspicion was confirmed. He knew you’d find a way to arm yourself, regardless of what you wore.
In hindsight, the way Zemo touched your side and lifted your skirt was all far more intimate than you should have allowed, and yet… you couldn’t deny the way your breath caught in your throat when he touched you, or how his close proximity made your body temperature rise, as he gazed down at you with those intense brown eyes.
Christ, you needed to get laid. Soon. Before you further entertained the idea of jumping the bones of a highly wanted criminal.
“Touch me like that again, and I will kill you where you stand,” you informed him sternly, and Zemo immediately took a step backwards, looking apologetic. From the corner of your eye, you saw both Sam and Bucky visibly relax, tension leaving their shoulders. You had read their thoughts briefly, and they were both wondering why the hell you were so calm about getting cozy with Zemo. The absolute last thing you wanted was for them to know that you were, in fact, inexplicably drawn to being that close to the Baron.
As the four of you walked along a bridge in Madripoor, Sam was quick to resume his complaining.
“We have to do something about this. I’m the only one who looks like a pimp.”
“Only an American would assume a fashion-forward Black man looks like a pimp. You look exactly like the man you’re supposed to be playing. The sophisticated, charming African rake named Conrad Mack, aka the Smiling Tiger.”
“He even has a bad nickname,” Sam grumbled, then looked at the phone Zemo handed him. “Hell, he does look like me, though.”
“And who am I supposed to be?” you inquired, glancing down at your clothing to see if you could guess who you were meant to be portraying. An heiress or socialite, perhaps.
“My fiancée,” Zemo answered simply, the faintest smile on his lips.
You barked out a crude laugh, “Oh, I think not.”
“There is no one involved with Madripoor who looks like you. And it is rare that there are newcomers to the island, especially not in the place we’re going. Pretending you are someone random would raise concerns about the intentions of your presence; you would be perceived as a potential threat, which would jeopardize our mission. It is far easier to simply pretend we are engaged, I assure you.”
You hesitated a moment, before arguing, “No one will believe that we are engaged.”
Zemo pulled something from the inside pocket of his jacket, took your left hand, and slipped it onto your ring finger. It was a solitaire diamond ring; not large enough to be gaudy, but enough to catch anyone’s eye.
“They will if you play your part well,” he told you, then addressed the rest of your party when he added, “No matter what happens, we have to stay in character. Our lives depend on it. There is no margin for error.”
The four of you reached a sleek black car, and climbed in, you in the back between Sam and Bucky. The ride to Low Town was tense and silent, as each of you mentally prepared for what lay ahead. When you arrived, Zemo offered you his hand as you exited the car, and the pointed look in his eyes told you that it was time to begin playing your part. You took his hand, and as you began walking into the heart of Low Town, he laced his fingers with yours. As the crowd drew near, Zemo wrapped his arm around your shoulders, gloved fingers brushing against the exposed skin of your shoulder. After reading his mind, you realized that it was both for the sake of protecting you, and showing possessiveness to make it believable that you were his girl – and because he simply enjoyed having your body close, although you suspected that he’d rather you have not known that.
Despite the fact that you had been on a few missions for SHIELD, you were not exactly incapable of fear; you did not possess nerves of steel. All of the missions you’d been on were low-profile, and you were mostly just there for the sake of gathering information from those reluctant to share it. Sure, you’d been in danger before, you’d had to fight your way out of several sticky situations, but this… this was different. You were in the crime capital of the world, a lawless place filled to the brim with crooks, thieves, and murderers. More than likely, any given person around could slit your throat and never bat an eye or give you a second thought. Swallowing your own pride in the face of fear prompted you to return Zemo’s gesture, wrapping your arm around his waist and sticking close to him, which earned a smile from the man.
When you arrived at your destination, Zemo approached the bar and leaned against it confidently on one arm, the other still wrapped firmly around your shoulders.
“Hello, gentleman,” the bartender greeted, before his eyes fell on you. “Who’s your new lady friend, Baron?”
“My fiancée,” Zemo answered, then turned to you and ran his finger along your jawline, as you looked at him in adoration. “Isn’t she lovely?”
“Very,” the bartender acknowledged, then turned to Sam. “Wasn’t expecting you, Smiling Tiger.”
“His plans changed. We have business to do with Selby,” Zemo responded.
The bartender made ‘Smiling Tiger’ his usual drink, which apparently consisted of… something he cut out of a snake, and dropped in a shot glass with a bit of liquor. You shared a look with Bucky before he turned away to survey the room, and when you read his thoughts, you found that you both desperately wanted to laugh out loud at Sam’s ‘short end of the stick’ situation, but didn’t want to risk everyone’s lives for the sake of a chuckle. You returned your attention to Zemo, opting to sell the whole “fiancée” thing a bit more by turning into him and tracing patterns on his chest as you gazed at him affectionately, while the bartender handed you and Zemo each a shot glass of your own – sans snake organs, thankfully. You both downed yours, while Sam understandably struggled a bit more with his, but still managed it.
A random man approached Zemo then, and as Zemo turned to face him, he protectively moved you behind him a bit.
“I got word from on high. You ain’t welcome here.”
“I have no business with the Power Broker, but if he insists, he can either come and talk to me…” Zemo countered, gesturing toward Bucky, who looked menacing as he pretended to be the Winter Soldier. “Or bring Selby for a chat.”
After a weary look in Bucky’s direction, the man walked away, and Zemo turned back around to face the bar, this time keeping you in between him in the bar, in case someone were to come up behind him – which they did a few moments later.
“Winter Soldier… attack,” Zemo commanded in Russian, as a different man came up and laid a hand on Zemo’s shoulder. With a pained look in his eye that quickly shifted to cold determination, Bucky grabbed the man’s hand with his vibranium arm, twisting it as he removed it from Zemo’s shoulder. Zemo took a step away from the bar to allow you room to turn and observe as Bucky beat the absolute shit out of various challengers. Zemo wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you close to him as he noted, “Didn’t take much for him to fall back into form.”
The unmistakable sound of numerous guns cocking drew your attention away from the altercation, and Zemo gently pushed you behind him as he surveyed the room to note all the weapons drawn. Sam grabbed Bucky’s bionic arm to stop him, but Zemo whispered, “Stay in character or the whole bar turns on us.”
“Well done, soldier,” Zemo then said to Bucky in Russian, signaling for the ‘Winter Soldier’ to stop.
“Selby will see you now,” the bartender interjected, and Bucky released his grip on the random man’s throat.
“Thank you,” Zemo responded, walking off to find Selby, grabbing your hand to guide you, but not before you spared a sorrowful glance at Bucky as your friends followed closely behind.
As Zemo took a seat on a couch across from Selby, you sat close to him, crossing your legs gracefully as you leaned into him, your arm wrapped around his as he clasped his hands in his lap authoritatively. You watched his exchange with Selby in silence, as did Sam – and Bucky, of course, considering he was pretending to be the Winter Soldier.
“By the way, I thought you were rotting away in a German prison,” Selby told Zemo, then smiled as she looked you up and down, before her eyes found the diamond ring. “And not engaged – to a woman far out of your league, I might add.”
“People like us always find a way, don’t we?” Zemo answered calmly, then looked over at you, staring into your eyes with warmth and adoration, and you smiled lovingly at him. “My beautiful fiancée was a guard at the prison. We fell in love over the years, and she helped me escape. Anyway, I’m sure you have already figured out what I’m here for.”
The conversation went relatively smoothly after that, until Sam’s goddamn phone rang and screwed the entire operation. In the blink of an eye, Selby was shot dead, you had shot two of the guards with the gun strapped to your thigh, and Sam and Bucky had each knocked out one, before Zemo suggested sneaking out of the bar as best you could, without any weapons. You secured your gun back in its holster, not missing the way Zemo watched as you hiked your dress up to do so, before making a break for it with the three of them.
Once you were on the streets of Madripoor, bounty hunters began to come out of the woodwork, and when they began shooting at you, Zemo abruptly grabbed your hand and ran down a nearby alleyway. As you were running, the heel of your stiletto caught on a grate, and you’d have fallen flat on your face if Zemo hadn’t caught you.
“Are you alright?” he asked hurriedly, his arms wrapped tightly around your waist as he supported you, before standing you back onto your feet. You nodded, and he glanced over your shoulder as he noticed a few men looking down the alley. “Forgive me.”
You were about to ask what he was talking about, but then Zemo abruptly grabbed you by the backs of your thighs and lifted you up, pinned you against the wall behind you, and kissed you.
The men at the end of the alleyway muttered something about “freaks who do it in public,” then their footsteps faded as they walked off, clearly thinking the two of you were some overly horny couple, not two of the people with an insane bounty on their heads. But you were barely paying them any attention, a bit preoccupied with the fact that Zemo was fucking kissing you, and much to your chagrin, you really fucking liked it.
Once there were no more voices and no more footsteps, Zemo broke the kiss and sat you down. The two of you stared at each other for a moment, before you heard more gunshots, and you broke into a run in the direction Bucky and Sam had gone, desperate to find your friends, and no time to process what the hell just happened.
As soon as you caught up with them, the two bounty hunters nearby were shot dead, and the four of you turned to see Sharon Carter emerging from the shadows.
An hour later, you found yourself in her swanky home in High Town, in a change of clothes, since the brick wall Zemo had held you up against ripped the back of your silk dress. You lied to Sam and Bucky, saying that it happened because you fell while running in your heels, and thankfully, they believed you. Sharon commanded the four of you to lay low and enjoy the party, which Sam and Bucky left her living room to go do, entrusting you with ‘Zemo watch.’
It seemed as though he was merely nursing his brandy in lieu of abandoning it for the party prior to finishing it off, but his eyes were on you most of the time. You didn't necessarily believe he could be plotting to overpower you and run off, but there is always that possibility, so you delved into his mind to check.
Expecting to find thoughts of strategy about how to defeat the super soldiers or travel plans, or even plots to escape you, Bucky, and Sam, you were astounded to find nothing but thoughts of you.
The way it felt to kiss you in that alleyway, and how he had monetarily debated just staying there, having his way with you against the brick wall before Sam and Bucky could locate you. The dress from the bar, and how it rested on your thighs, revealing just enough to have his mouth watering without being revealing to the point of immodesty. The way your necklace currently rested against your bare collarbone, and how desperately he craved to litter the area with love bites. The delicate skin of your throat, thinking of how it would look with his hand wrapped around it, just enough to cut off a bit of air but not enough harm you. How alluring your voice is, and how much he'd like to know what it would sound like to hear you scream his name. The softness and warmness of your skin when he had his arm around you in the bar, and when he held your hand as you fled the scene, and he wondered how soft and warm you were elsewhere.
"Your thoughts are filthy."
He bristled immediately, sitting straighter in his seat and eyes going slightly wide, either forgetting you can read minds or not realizing you'd be doing it right then. It only took a moment for him to regain his composure, before he took one long, last drink of his brandy and set the glass on the table in front of him. He turned his whole body to the side to face you, as you sat on the opposite end of the couch, wearing a small, somewhat mischievous smile.
"I suppose there is no sense in denying it, is there?"
"What game are you playing, Zemo?" you snapped. He was rattling you. As much as you hated to admit it, he was. For the entirety of the time you'd been around him, this wanted criminal had been flustering you, and goddammit it, you wanted to know if it was accidental, or for nefarious purposes. He could be using it as a tactic to throw you off your game, so that he could get away when it was just the two of you – like right now.
"There is no game, Liebling," he stated softly and sincerely, sensing your discomfort. Slowly, he scooted closer to you on the couch, so that the arm he had laid across the back of it was now behind you, as he stared intently into your eyes. "Merely the natural response of a man who has been widowed and then locked in a prison cell, and therefore has not known the touch of a woman in many years, sitting next to a woman of absolute ethereal beauty."
You said nothing, merely stared at him, sizing him up to see if he was toying with you or telling the truth. Zemo sensed your lack of belief in his words.
"If you doubt my true intentions, you are welcome to delve as deep into my mind as you'd like to find the truth."
In all honesty, you'd have done that already if you weren't trying to avoid being even more flustered by his thoughts about you – but you couldn't tell him that. So, you did as he bade you, and searched his mind to find any shred of malevolence towards you, but you came out empty-handed. Zemo genuinely just wanted you, craved you, like a starved man sitting in front of an endless buffet. He watched you carefully as you came to this conclusion, and although you said nothing further, he knew that you had found what you needed to know.
"Just say the word, and I will never approach the topic again, as well as attempt to quiet my thoughts about you. But if there is any part of you... deep inside you," Zemo paused, eyes grazing you up and down purposefully, before continuing, "that has any interest in being with me... I will do anything to bring that to fruition."
The ball was in your court now. You could tell him to get bent and never speak to you like this again… or you could get your rocks off, and maybe even get something more in return.
"Such as?"
"Name it, Schätzchen. Anything you want. A car, a mansion, jewels – say it and it's yours, if you will be mine," Zemo proposed earnestly, licking his lips quickly as he looked at you, visibly thrilled that he was getting somewhere with you.
You weren't the type to accept gifts from men you barely know, but… this was Zemo. A man who had done a great many terrible things, which soothed your guilty conscience. So, you said the first thing that came to mind.
"A car," you blurted out, then explained, "Mine broke down a week ago, and it's beyond repair, so… a car."
"Tell me the make and model of your preference and I'll have it delivered to your home within a week's time," Zemo said calmly, then brushed a lock of hair away from your face, before allowing his fingers to trail delicately along your cheek and jawline. "Is that all, Kätzchen?"
"No. One more thing," you replied, then looked at him sternly. "You must agree to never speak of this to Bucky or Sam."
"You have my word," he assured you, smiling in amusement.
"Then I'm yours."
Zemo's smile faded slowly, and he merely stared at you for a split second, before cupping your face in his hands and pulled you into a searing kiss, full of ferocity and sheer desperation. It shouldn't have been this easy, to kiss a man who's done such terrible things – yet here you were, melting into his embrace, allowing him to pull you into his lap and straddle him, your hands resting on his shoulders and gripping the black fabric of his turtleneck. His hands laid flat against your back as he kissed you in this new position, slowly gliding down, down your sides and to your hips. He kissed you in a way that was feverish and fast and hungry, as his fingers dug into your skin, holding you firmly against him as if he were fearful that this was all a dream and you'd disappear at any moment. Upon taking a peek into his mind, you realized that was actually exactly what he was thinking. Additionally, he mentally spoke to you directly, somehow knowing you were reading his thoughts at that moment.
"Tell me if I do anything that you do not like, and know that you have absolute freedom to end this at any given moment."
You pulled away slightly to nod in confirmation that you received his message, before resuming the kiss. Mind hazy and instincts taking over, you found yourself tugging his bottom lip between your teeth, earning a low groan from Zemo. One of his hands darted upwards to grab a fistful of your hair, right against your scalp at the base of your neck, and he pulled on it harshly, causing you to let out a wonton moan. He then laid that hand flat against the back of your neck, holding your lips firmly against his as he kissed you with even more fervor, and the other vacated its position on your hip to slide slowly up your torso, until he began palming your beast through your shirt. You moaned softly against his lips, but not as loudly as a moment ago.
Zemo wanted more, needed more; he longed to hear you loud and desperate. So he delved that hand at your neck back into your hair, gripping it tightly once more, and used it to pull your head backwards a bit, so that he could have better access to your neck. The action itself, and the tightness of his grip, earned an embarrassingly loud moan to escape your lips, and you felt him smile against your skin. He moved his hand to the middle of your back, supporting you as you leaned back a bit to grant him better access. As he littered your neck and décolletage with kisses, you felt him pull the neckline of your blouse down a little, then felt the sharp pain of a bite on your chest, above your breast. When you looked at him with narrowed eyes, he wore a cocky little grin.
"You should not be surprised, Liebling. I know you saw that I've been wanting to do that all day when you read my mind," he noted. "Wear a high neckline tomorrow, it will be fine."
Before you could respond, Zemo pulled you flush against his chest with that hand behind your back, and into another heated kiss. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, and without thinking, you ground your hips down on the bulge resting against your core beneath your skirt. He groaned, both hands flying to your hips to push them down again, guiding them as you repeated the action. It only took a minute or two of this before Zemo had enough, abruptly grabbing you by the throat and throwing you down onto the couch beside him. He then loomed over you, one hand propping himself up and the other applying slight pressure to your throat, gazing at you with admiration in those searing eyes, pupils blown wide from lust. You looked right back at him, pupils undoubtedly dilated as well, eyes half-lidded, panting a little, and hair a bit of a mess.
"You are an absolute vision," Zemo praised softly, to which you smiled, then he released his grip on your neck to lean down and kiss you again. That only lasted a moment, before he broke the kiss to pull your blouse up and over your head, tossing it carelessly to the side. Your bra joined it shortly after, then he moved to your skirt, fussing with the zipper for a moment, but it seemed to be caught on something, as it wouldn't budge. Before you could interject and state that you'd get the zipper yourself, Zemo ripped the seam apart with his hands, before tearing the article from your body and tossing it like he had with the blouse. A gasp escaped you, but you had no time to think much about his actions, before he was pulling off your panties and bra as well, dropping them somewhere beside the couch.
He was then looming over you again, kissing you breathless as he rested on one elbow while the other hand toyed with your nipple, his knee coming up to rest between your legs as he laid between your body and the back of the couch. You tangled your fingers in Zemo's hair, moaning against his lips as you sought friction against his leg. He smiled softly against your lips, before your hands wandered, finding the hem of his shirt and tugging it off of him. You had just managed to get his belt off before his hand left your breast, trailing downwards across your torso as he moved his knee further away from you, before delving between your hips and expertly locating your clit.
No longer capable of focusing on ridding Zemo of his clothes, your hands gripped his shoulders, and he hissed deliciously as your nails dug into his skin when he began rubbing small, methodical circles on your clit. Small moans fell from your lips as he watched the way your mouth hung open slightly, face relaxed and eyes closed as you enjoyed his work. But again, he wanted more, needed more. Still observing you, he delved his middle and ring fingers into your core, causing you to let out a loud gasp that faded into a long, low moan. Zemo smiled to himself. That was the reaction he was dying for.
He kissed you senseless, drinking in your moans and gasps of pleasure like wine, his free hand cradling the back of your head as your arms wrapped around his neck. It didn't take Zemo long to find that sweet spot, deep inside you – as he'd subtly alluded to earlier – that longed for his attention the most.
You couldn't help but moan loudly and cry out, "Fuck! Baron!" Zemo growled low in your ear, clearly a fan of your usage of his title as he picked up the pace, fucking you with his fingers with expert precision and speed, sending you hurtling over the edge with a string of curses in both Sokovian and English. By the time he removed his fingers from you and stood, you were seeing stars, breathing heavily as you laid flat against the couch. When your dazed gaze found him, he was naked from the waist down, and was just finishing rolling a condom over his length. You had no idea where he got it from, but you were way beyond giving a shit at this point. Zemo then rejoined you on the couch, roughly spreading your legs apart as he kneeled between them, looking at you with a primal, deep hunger in his eyes.
"You are certain that you want this?"
"Yes, please – fuck," you cut yourself off as he began rubbing your clit again.
"Yes please, what?" His voice was low, teasing, as he continued his work below. "I want to hear you say it again, Kätzchen."
"Yes, please, Baron."
"Good girl."
Zemo took your leg and rested your calf on his shoulder, before easing himself into you, agonizingly slow. You watched through half-lidded eyes as his brows furrowed together, his jaw went slack, and his eyes squeezed shut as he bottomed out. He was silent, but you very much preferred it when he was a bit vocal. So, you flexed your muscles down there, and he groaned, letting his forehead fall against your shoulder.
"Do not do that if you want this to last long," Zemo suggested through clenched teeth. You smiled to yourself, then said the magic word that you knew would get him going.
"Yes, Baron."
He growled again, right in your ear, then sat more upright to begin a harsh, quick pace of thrusting. His hips collided with your body each time, causing a delicious sort of pain, and he leaned down to lock you in a messy, deep kiss.
A few minutes later, Zemo moved your other calf to his shoulder as well, and the new position enabled him to get delectably deep inside you. You raked your nails down his chest, watching as a shudder ran down his spine, all the while releasing small, breathless moans and whimpers. When he opened his eyes again to gaze down at you, he licked his lips before delving both hands under your head and into your hair, and forcefully gripped two fitfuls of it at the base of your skull. The moan that tore its way from your throat was animalistic, as your nails dug into his forearms as you desperately gripped them from their positions on either side of your head. Just then, he hit a spot deep inside of you, and that familiar, tight coil in your lower belly began to form.
"Fuck! Right there, Baron, please, right there!"
"As you wish, Schätzchen."
Zemo began to thrust even faster, careful to maintain the same angle as he released his grip on your hair and leaned up a bit, so that he could resume rubbing your clit. Moans began to fall from your lips practically endlessly, and somehow, you still needed more. More, more, more. You took his free hand and laid it on your neck, and he instinctively wrapped his fingers around your throat, careful to apply pressure on the sides but not the front, as to avoid harming you. When he opened his eyes once again and looked down at you, he couldn't stop the moan that escaped him.
"You will be the death of me, mein Engel," Zemo whispered, seemingly more to himself. All you could do was moan in response.
"Baron, I'm going to – fuck – I'm —"
"Yes, come for me, Kätzchen. I want to feel you."
That was all the encouragement it took. Well, that plus how perfectly he was rubbing your bundle of nerves, and how his pace nor angle had faltered once since you had requested exactly that. You came undone again, legs shaking as your nails clawed at his shoulder blades, earning a series of groans from him. As you came down from your high, Zemo's hips began to falter, enthralled by the waterfall you had become, soaking the base of his cock as your walls squeezed around him. His hand at your wet heat abruptly moved to grip your hip, at the same moment his hand around your throat clutched at your hair again, and he met his end with a loud, gruff moan as he spoke a mantra of nonsensical praises and your name.
Zemo rested on his arms on either side of your head, and he let your legs fall to the sides of him, breathing hard against your neck as he occasionally peppered kisses there. He remained inside you for a few moments, savoring the feeling, before you chose to have a bit of extra fun by flexing your lower muscles and squeezing yourself around him again. With a sharp intake of breath, he pulled out of you, shooting you a glare.
In Sokovian, he murmured, "You are a naughty little thing."
"You adore it."
"That I do," Zemo conceded, then stood and walked off to the restroom. You heard the tap run, and a few moments later, he returned with a glass of water for you, sitting beside your feet on the couch and resting his heels on the coffee table. He was exceptionally handsome like this; still catching his breath, sweat glistening on his forehead and chest, a content look upon his face. You spent a minute or two admiring him, before he looked over to you, and a smile blossomed on his lips.
"I cannot thank you enough for that. I must admit, I spent countless nights alone in my cell, dreaming about getting to touch a woman like that again. Especially considering the fall of our country, I never could have imagined I would be lucky enough to lay with a stunning, intelligent Sokovian woman."
"In the spirit of confessions, it's been a while for me, too. My last boyfriend was about two years ago. And I'm not the one-night-stand type. So, do with that what you will," you stated, earning a small chuckle from Zemo. You sat up so that you were sitting beside him, instead of laying down, as you continued. "I fantasized about it a lot myself, but I never even dared to think my next time would be as good as this was."
Zemo smiled, a mix of pride and joy, then his smile softened as he leaned toward you, brushing a lock of hair away from your face. "This doesn't have to be our last time, you know. I would be honored to have you as often as you'd allow me to. And I assure you, I would make it worth your while. I will give you whichever vehicles your heart desires, more jewelry than you know what to do with, take you to the most beautiful places in the world, dine at only the finest restaurants – and above all, treat you like my queen. Take care of me, and I will take care of you, Liebling."
You allowed your curiosity to get the better of you, as usual when you feared that someone was lying to you. You searched his mind for any fraction of false pretenses, but there were none. The man simply found you intoxicating, and would do whatever it takes to keep drinking you in.
The arrangement wouldn't exactly be an easy one, nor would it be all that wise – nor morally correct, in all honesty. But he was undeniably sexy, and the danger and reprehensibility of it all made it that much more alluring. And besides all that – the way his power and wealth turned you on, how good he was capable of making you feel – most Sokovians were dead, and you missed home. Getting to speak your native tongue with him, chat about your country – it made you feel at home with him.
But you wouldn't give Zemo the satisfaction of agreeing to him that quickly.
“We'll see.”
—————
Part Two
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orange-waterfalls · 3 years
Text
I Call This One: Bold & Brash!
The egos x artist! gn! reader
ty @pokemonpunqueen for the request!
A/N: I’ve decided that I’m gonna write for the egos when I can’t think of anything else or I need practice writing lmao. I mean I was doing that before? But I didn’t know it? listen it’s fine it’ll be fine but FOR NOW I thiiiink I’m gonna take requests. Just a few. I’ll stop when I think it gets too much. This is exactly what it says. I focused on like drawing/painting for “artist”, with some references to animation thrown in there. I did Darkiplier, Wilford, Yancy, Illinois, Google, Eric, and a Host thrown in there bc I love him and I miss him
Word count is 1.5k
Enjoy
Egos x artist!reader
Darkiplier
He’ll want to commission art from you
He makes comments about how Mark is a narcissist but also he’s a narcissist.
Oh look, Dark’s asking you for another picture. What does he want? He wants you to draw him? Again? For the fifth time this fucking month? Wonderful.
He likes looking at how you make art of him, be it stylistic or realistic
He will hang them up all over the fucking house so pace yourself
He’s fine if you draw anybody else
Except Mark. Never Mark. How can he tell, you ask? No fucking clue, but he does
Gets a bit worried that you won’t make enough money to live comfortably
Just because not everyone needs a fucking MANSION-
Will always buy things for you if you ask
Likes to be able to support your job or hobby
Sugar daddy? I mean maybe
Makes sure you eat, sleep, drink water, survive--
Leaves snacks for you at your desk for when you don’t want a meal.
Carries you to bed if you fall asleep at a desk
Recommends you wear comfy clothes at all times so you can fall asleep wherever
A bit of an enabler, he’s doing his best tho
If you take commissions don’t be surprised if he threatens to kill someone when they don’t pay or are rude to you
He loves you, that’s all
Wilford
Fucking elated
Draw him!!! Please!!!! Please draw him!!!!! He has coin!!!!! He can pay!!!!!
Ecstatic if you actually draw him like he’ll giggle for an hour straight just looking
Secretly commissions more art from you
So also sugar daddy
It’s always something so obvious so you know it’s him anyways
He likes bright colors and eyestrain for some reason
If you make that, he just. Stares at it. Unblinking. You have to snap him out of it (im not projecting what do you mean)
Gets extremely worried about you not taking care of yourself
Gets someone to fucking babysit you when he’s gone so you take care of yourself
When you get greatly offended by this he settles for texting you reminders
And when you ignore those he texts more
Don’t be surprised if you get spammed by several people and an alarm starts to play from somewhere in the house
You’re gonna be healthy whether you like it or not, asshole
Drags you to bed aggressively
He WILL NOT drug your food with melatonin because that’s illegal. B U T-
He’s a little confused, but he got the spirit
Will advertise your art to anyone and everyone and also on his show and threatens the audience with a gun
AGAIN, a little confused. he just wuvs u so much 
Yancy
I mean technically he’s kind of an artist too so he appreciates your skill and creativity
He’s very nosy and likes to look over your shoulder while you work
If you don’t like him doing that, he still does it, just more secretively
Likes to work in the same room as you. 
That is if you don’t mind constant singing or tap dancing in the background
He shows off your art to anyone and everyone and gets mad if they don’t immediately say it’s fantastic
May or may not have stabbed someone over it, you’ll never know
If you show him something you’re working on, he’ll show you something he’s working on in return
The law of equivalent exchange
You tell him you can make MONEY from things like art and dancing and he goes apeshit he gets so fucking excited
If you’re like an animator and offer to animate his dancing he might actually cry
He’ll deny it constantly every day until he dies
If you make things traditionally he hangs them on the wall Everywhere
You might run out of room
By which i mean you will run out of room as soon as possible
Will never tell you a drawing is bad ever unless it’s like Really Bad which it never will be in his eyes
He loves anything and everything you do u are so precious
You have a permanent support system within the man
Google
Used to see art as pointless
Then comprehended the chemical release it causes in the brain and thought that was fine
Then saw you get really mad with something you were working on and got confused again?
If art no make good chemical, why art?
He still doesn’t understand, but that’s ok
You tried to get him to make something once
He just. Kinda. Made a buncha ones and zeroes
You still framed it and hung in on the wall and he got embarrassed
If he could blush, he would
If you draw him he looks like he doesn’t care but it’s at that point he decides he would die for you
Primary objective: answer questions as quickly as possible. Secondary objective: make u happy. Tertiary objective is to destroy mankind
If you draw bing that will disappear IMMEDIATELY you have BETRAYED him
If you ask for a color palette recommendation he Always says the google colors. Always.
You might’ve thought he was going for an rgby type of thing. But then you realize.
He is in charge of your financing. He will tell you the most efficient ways to make money as an artist and you follow then
He is also in charge of making sure you FUCKING EAT A MEAL
“But isn’t an objective to destroy mankind?” shut up he’s not happy about it either
Despite his best efforts he loves you and that ain’t gonna change
Illinois
Doesn’t fully understand
He needs to be outside at all times and cannot stay in one place
And you’re like??? Required to stay still???? For prolonged amounts of time????? Disgusting. Anyway, whatcha workin’ on?
He might ask you to try and teach him
If you do try he gives up almost immediately
Sometimes you just get so into it that you forget to do basic things and he gets upset
(i.e. eating, sleeping, living, etc.)
He gets worried about you
He is a hypocrite bc he does the same
He will drag you to bed, motherfucker
Honestly he might lock your shit somewhere until you fucking take care of yourself. it’s like a hostage situation god
“Where the fuck did you put it” “I have no clue what you mean. I might know if you eat your dinner, though”
Asshole (affectionate)
Sometimes you like make faces when you try to draw a person and it’s hilarious and cute to him
He looks at your drawings the moment you walk away but acts like he doesn’t care
He cares a lot
Will support you no matter what but will also tell you without hesitation if he thinks something looks shit
Listen he’s out of line but he’s right
Eric
Loves you a lot and will support anything and everything you choose to do or make
Drawing? Awesome! Painting? Wonderful! Animation? Superb!
He often wants to buy you supplies or something but he does not know what anything is
Fuck is a chalk pencil???? What are gel pens vs normal pens?????? Watercolor????? What the fuck are you saying??????????
Will subtly drop hints that you could,,,, draw him,,,,, maybe,,,,, if u wanna 
And by subtly I mean he starts to ask and then starts crying
If you draw him he will cry again he loves u so much 
If he ever were to get a tattoo it’d be something u drew. Nothing else is as important to him at the moment
He enjoys photography and film, and likes to try and bond with you over artistic things
I mean. Some things overlap.
You could talk about a single drawing for hours and he’d listen intently the whole time
Don’t ask him for feedback, it’s always some version of “it’s perfect and I love you”
Even if he hates it
Which,,,,, he might hate it sometimes
He’s not a good reviewer. 2/10, very biased
He likes to take photos when you’re in the zone
If you tell him to delete them he will
While secretly making one his home screen
Host
Hey, he gets it
He writes, he understands the hyperfocus
Sometimes he wouldn’t move from his chair for a day because he was busy writing a script
That being said, you probably have to be the one to get him to take care of himself
Or you have to take turns
Otherwise you’re both gonna fucking die
He asks you to describe your art to him and tries to picture it.
He’ll tell you if he thinks it probably looks good or bad
You shouldn’t take it to heart because he can’t see it
He is a bastard sometimes
“Well, what do you think?” “I think it looks fantastic” “Thanks, babe” “...” “... you think you’re fucking funny, don’t you”
He asks if you can draw him sometimes
No, he won’t see it, but he’ll appreciate the sentiment if you do
He will ask for your opinion on his scripts sometimes
If you say it’s bad he gets really defensive
You work in the same room a lot of the time and forget the other is there
One of you has to preemptively order food or like set a timer so you can goddamn Survive
You’ll be fine
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oneprompt · 3 years
Note
Hi! If you’re up for it, could u do Luffy, law and robin, with a shy fem chubby s/o? Fluffy Relationship headcanons. I like love ur writing sm 😭 have a nice day/night
authors note: hello ! im certainly up for it <3 thanks for all the praise , every little ounce of it means a ton to me .. i hope you enjoy these !
Nico Robin x Shy! Chubby! F! Reader Headcanons
• We all know Robin loves cute things. I mean, look at the soft spot she has for Chopper. One can only assume she’d be the same with you. You’re so adorable, the way you shy away from even the smallest of things..
• She adores your body! Robin sees no issue with you having a bit of extra fat on your body. The human body is one of the most beautiful things within all of human history. She finds any form to be beautiful, especially yours. It reminds her of the form of the Goddesses within ancient Greece.
• Always willing to assist you with social situations. Robin is certainly more introverted but shes more then happy to help you with situations you find difficult and or uncomfortable.
• Robin is always willing to give you reassurance if you feel uncomfortable with your body. She may be a slim woman but even a beauty like Nico Robin has her flaws. She’ll show you the scars she bears, showing that even a seemingly ‘perfect’ woman’s body comes with flaws. Everyone is human, in the end.
• She loves to call you pet names. Nothing too babyish, just small names like “ darling “ and “ love “. Robin especially loves your reactions to them, she adores the way your face lights up and you shy away from her.
• Robin loves to get you out of your comfort zone. Of course, she won’t push but she’ll encourage you to come further out of your shell. She just wants you to feel comfortable with as many things as possible.
Luffy x Shy! Chubby! F! Reader Headcanons
• Luffy does his very best to get you to be more open! He wants nothing more then you to be able to mingle with Usopp while the two of you are together. It’d be 2x the fun!
• If you ever feel insecure about your weight one day and dislike how you may appear in your clothing, Luffy is quick to give you solidarity. He’ll stretch his body to match yours, showing you that it’s okay to be that shape, that you aren’t alone.
• Luffy praises you a ton! I mean, he does so with his crew but with you? Amp it up! Wether it be for your skills or merely just being your own authentic self. He loves you more then anything!
• Loves to eat with you! And if you ever feel too uncomfortable to eat any more, he’ll finish your plate. It saddens him to see you feel such a way but he doesn’t want to push you to eat more then you want to. But! He’ll always make sure you eat a healthy amount, at the very least.
• Luffy is quick to help you if someone makes you uncomfortable in public. He’ll be quick to drag you away or help you, depending on the situation. Definitely assists you with shopping when you two have to purchase things for the sunny. He knows how nerve wracking public settings are for you!
• He loves you a lot and will give you a lot of reassurance. Luffy is quick to let you know that you’re perfect for him, that you’re the sweetest being to grace his presence. Your body doesn’t matter to Luffy, nor does your reserved attitude. You’re you and he loves that about you more then anything else.
Law x Shy! Chubby! F! Reader Headcanons
• You’re the perfect size for him. Law loves people he can cushion himself on, look at Bepo, for an example. Your chubbyness is his favourite thing. He loves using your more plump areas as pillows.
• If anyone says anything about you, wether to you or him, Law is quick to teach them a lesson. How dare anyone disrespect his Y/n like that!
• If you ever give in to what people say to you, wether about your size or shyness, Law will give you a good talking to. He reassures you but in a more harsh / blunt way. You have to be an utter moron to believe the words of those people. Only a barbaric moron would believe that those qualities of you are ugly, that they’re no good.
• He doesn’t mind you being a wall flower, if anything, Law prefers it. It makes your company much easier to deal with, in contrast to people like Luffy. Law loves how chill you can be, how you don’t mind staying in all day within your free time. Truth be told, he’s just as introverted as you.
• As i said, Law loves using you as a pillow. So, expect a lot of cuddles from the man. He snuggles you a lot, giving you lots of hugs and the slightest brush of kisses. He may not be that way in public or in the overall presence of people, but Law is so very soft when you two are alone.
• Lets you wear his clothing, such as his jacket and sweater. He loves how it sags downward on you. It’s very cute to him, seeing his clothing cover your adorable form. It makes him die of cuteness... the sight is merely too much for him.
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alycosworld · 3 years
Note
hello<3 “🧸” here:D anyways i see the lack of childe fluff (i scrolled to the end of his hashtag(❍ᴥ❍ʋ) ) so like request below as usual^^
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purple-ppl
pink-genre
blue-content
yellow-type of fic
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so i think uk alr but a childe x NB!/GN! reader where reader overthinks alot(´;ω;`) i tend to overthink everything someone does or like overthink if someone whispers smt to someone else after looking at me idk man I’m just paranoid so maybe that would be nice:3 fluff comfort as usual because i cant take angst:( u can do whatever type of fic u want;)
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i hope u will be able to take this request but if u cant its fine just ignore this! rmb to get rest and drink water:)<3 only do this fic if u want.
i actually have a exam tmr and i shld be asleep LOL but its fine just wanted to relax abit before i freak out tmr( ̄▽ ̄)
Childe with an S/O who Overthinks
Childe X Reader
A/N: sorry I've been off a lil bit! it may not seem like long to some of you, but it was a nice while for me :)) thank you for being patient! I'm still not perfect but I'm good enough <3
I feel like at this point, my head canons are way more funny and informal so they’re a little easier to write but DON’T STOP SENDING IN NORMAL FIC REQUESTS I still do those and I still love those <3
(also, hope your exam went okay 🧸!! and even if it didn't, I'm proud of you for even trying!)
mans is worried as hell
you kinda zoned out while he was taking about some interaction between him, scaramouche and signora she's alive in my heart and normally he wouldn't be worried, just playfully offended, but you looked really troubled an we're fidgeting an awful lot
he would see your agitated state and immediately go teddy bear "im here for u" mode.
he would ask you "why u acting sus?" "Is everything okay, (Y/N)? You look worried about something. Anything I can do to help?"
you immediately looked up at him and tried to say you were fine, but he wouldn't let it go until you were really okay, so you caved.
earlier that day, some ladies were laughing loudly, and when you looked to see what at, you noticed how they glanced at you. you then saw a father look at you and smile admittedly a little eerily before dragging his son in the opposite direction.
to most people, this interaction would be a semi-strange but honestly not that out of the ordinary.
I mean, those ladies could’ve been laughing at a billion other things. And that father could've been smiling politely and just had to rush away for an appointment.
but it was bothering you. you hadn't done anything wrong, had you? nothing worth judgement or any of those reactions at least.
when you told childe, he engulfed you like a fucking white blood cell man. he just 🥺🤗
"There’s no need to get worked up over it, they could be talking about anything!” Childe assured you. He repeated that sentence a million different ways before you finally began to get over it.
sometimes, your overthinking was a real blessing - the ability to analyse a situation in more depth than most people.
but sometimes it can hurt you if you take things the wrong as - which is perfectly fine!!
Childe knows you, and he knows just how to calm you down and make sure you’re feeling good again!
fatui malewife activity ensues and you get all the hugs and kisses you want
please don’t overthink if it’s mentally damaging or draining! of course, some people can’t help it, but if you can try, just say “fuck y’all” and don’t give a shit what people think - ya boi Childe sure doesn’t!
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asmo-ds · 3 years
Note
okay, last request i promise!! mc and asmo are having a sleepover and they're putting make up on each other and it's really cute and fluffy. like ik asmo is the avatar of lust and all but i headcanon him as one of the most fluffy characters in the game idk
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Slumber Party
Asmo x GN!MC Fluff
Word Count: 1408
Warnings: MC was bullied in the past :(, They also take a bath together but no funny business what so ever I pinky promise
Summary: Asmodeus finds out MC has never had a slumber party before and he refuses to let their life continue without experiencing a slumber party with the king of slumber parties himself
Ever since MC had arrived in the Devildom, Asmodeus had been inviting them to have a sleepover in his room. No matter how much he begged and pleaded with them to join him one night they said no every. Single. Time. 
The Avatar was beginning to grow worried that MC was scared to be alone with him due to his sin.
“MC, I promise I’m not planning anything naughty!” He gave his best puppy dog eyes as he asked for the nth time to have MC in his room for the night. “I pinky promise all I want to do is normal slumber party stuff! We can do face masks and play with makeup, or we can play truth or dare - or truth or truth if that makes you more comfortable,” he pouts.
“Asmo, don’t worry I know you wouldn’t try anything dirty without my consent, i-its more of a me problem I guess…” MC trails off. 
“Oh?” He cutely tilts his head in confusion, causing MC to sigh and finally tell him why they’d been denying him since day one.
“In the human world I never had many friends,” they start, “and I guess because of that I was never invited to an actual sleepover unless you count one time in middle school when the popular kids had me over and humiliated me all night for their entertainment,” MC clenches their fists at the memory of being taunted after showing up so excited for their first slumber party.
“EH?! Seriously? Did someone invite you just to tease you? What a douche. MC please have a slumber party with me, I promise I won’t mock you or taunt you and I’ll show you a nice sleepover where we both relax and chill together,” Asmo holds MC’s hand in his own gently against his chest in a comforting fashion.
MC stares into his eyes for a moment, searching for any sign of ingenuine intentions. They let out a soft sigh as they fail to find any ill intent inside the fifth eldest demon lord. “...Okay, your room or mine?”
-
At 7 pm sharp, MC makes their way through the house of Lamentation, a bag and pillow tucked under their arms before they knock on the door that is almost immediately ripped open with surprisingly strong yet feminine arms pulling them into the blush-colored room filled with the scent of roses.
They look around and see Asmo had a bunch of areas set up, ready for them to do a night of intense self-care and relaxing activities together. 
“Here, put your bag in the corner for now, and you can put the pillow on the bed! OH IM SO EXCITED!” the rose eyes male squeals. “Where should we start? Makeovers or dress up?”
“Um I suppose we could dress up first so we know the makeup will match our outfits,” MC says shyly.
“Ah! Good thinking! You’re such a cute genius, MC,” Asmodeus giggles giving MC a soft boop on the nose before dragging them to his walk-in closet. 
-
“I knew you would look good in [fav color], MC!” Asmo praises, twirling them around and looking at the two of them in the mirror in their new outfits. “Now let’s get some makeup to match, then we can have a mini photoshoot!”
Asmodeus pulls two chairs in front of his vanity, digging through a drawer and pulling out the makeup he thinks will match their skin tone and outfit, placing them next time as he leans forward with a primer on his hands, rubbing it onto MC’s skin. He puts it to the side before grabbing the foundation and getting to work.
 MC and Asmo post in his mirror taking hundreds of photos. “Wait Asmo can we do duck lips!” MC asks excitedly giggling their head off.
“OMD YESSSS” He dramatically pushes out his lips and MC follows before he snaps a few photos. They laugh as they strike more poses and then perform like professional photographers for each other.
“Are you going to put these on Devilgram, Asmo?” MC smiles hoping he’d think they were good enough to feature on his perfectly aesthetic Devilgram page.
“Duh, who would be so cruel as to keep these pictures to themselves when they’re so stunning!” He smiles selecting a few photos to post. As he is scrolling through all the photos one of MC catches his eye. In the photo, they are smiling and laughing after Asmo had clearly done something to crack them up. He feels his heart flutter knowing he caused that smile and moves that picture to a special folder he keeps pictures of his family in (that he will never admit he actually has).
He tosses his D.D.D onto his soft bed and lets it bounce to a stop as he grabs MC’s hand to go to the bathroom. Once they are in there he pulls out some makeup removing wipes and skincare products.
“Wow I’ve never actually gotten a good look at your bath,” MC stares at the tub of constantly perfectly hot water with rose petals and all sorts of washing products lined along the sides of it.
“Did you wanna do all of the skincare and washing off in there? The bubbles will cover both of us for the most part and I promise not to touch your no-no zones,” Asmo giggles as he sees MC’s eyes widen. 
“Oh- uh- sure! As long as there’s no funny business Mr. Avatar of Lust!” They laugh giving his shoulder a playful shove.
“That’s LORD Mr. Avatar of Lust to you” he jokingly scoffs making MC laugh once more before he turns and faces the wall. “Go ahead and get in I’ll stay facing this way until you tell me to come in.”
After hearing clothes drop and the water move a bit as MC’s body descends into the steamy bubbles, he notices he isn’t actually filled with Lust at the moment, which is rare for him when someone else is in the room naked. He smiles when he realizes that he feels more adoration and relaxation in this situation than anything else.
“Wow MC, it’s kind of odd that I don’t feel lustful at the moment,” he voices his thoughts, “instead all I can think about is how excited I am to just chill out in the bath with you.” He shakes his head and lets out a chuckle.
“Well if you’re so excited then hurry up and get in here !” MC smiles at him as he turns. His eyes stay glued to their face with zero urge to wander elsewhere at that moment. He wishes he could burn that smile into his eyes and see it every second for the rest of his life.
He goes back to his room and grabs his D.D.D putting on his favorite playlist made by both of them and strips getting into the tub, bringing the face wash and makeup wipes with him before he moves through the water closer to MC, who closes their eyes as he raises a washcloth to their cheek.
MC and Asmo spend about a half-hour in the tub, relaxing and washing each other’s makeup off, then MC suddenly gets hyper and makes a mess of his bathroom. “Asmo look!” They excitedly say as they put bubbles on their chin forming a big bubbly beard making Asmo giggle.
“MC please let me take a picture of you right now you look so adorably stupid, sweetie.” Asmo grabs his D.D.D while laughing so hard he nearly snorts.
After he takes the picture and puts back his D.D.D, he gets hit in the face with water and opens his eyes to see MC laughing as they start a splash fight.
At the end of their bath, the floor is soaked with suds and water that had been splashed out by the pair and they cleaned it up before heading back into the bedroom.
“Are we sleeping on the bed together or do you want me to sleep on the floor?” Asmodeus asks.
“We can sleep in the bed together, just -”
“Yeah Yeah, no funny business I know, doll,” Asmo cuts MC off laughing.
After getting under the covers they both did that thing we all do at sleepovers where you can’t stop laughing for no reason and Lucifer came in to yell at them like the Mom he is.
211 notes · View notes
because-of-a-friend · 3 years
Text
GuardianAngel!Jun
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MASTERLIST
Thanks for the request anon! I really hope you like it!!! This was def a bit out of my comfort zone but in a really exciting way! Also I don’t keep up with absolutely all lore on angels/ guardian angels, so if I say something you weren’t expecting/didn’t really want or left out something you were expecting, I’m sorry and hope it’s still enjoyable anyways! (I DIDN’T MEAN TO MAKE THIS ANGSTY IT JUST SORT OF HAPPENED IM SORRY)
Warnings: Near death experiences (including almost drowning), mentions of injury and death, and angst
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There are rules about being a guardian angel that are so obvious, they don’t need to be spoken
Obviously, if there’s a fixed point where your person has to get injured or even die, you can’t intervene
You can’t ever assist in a way that would get you spotted by your person
You can’t do more than simple guidance when it comes to matters of the heart and mind
And, you cannot ever meet your person and tell them who you are
Jun has always followed all rules to a T
He’s never gotten in trouble or anywhere even close to trouble
He’s an example to his peers
He always does his job perfectly
There’s never been a hitch
And then he’s assigned to you 
At first your life is as normal as anyone else he’s ever been a guardian to
But then things get complicated
It’s honestly like you’re trying to get hurt
Suddenly, there’s just a period of time where you’re constantly in danger
Jun will save you once and then immediately be running off to save you again
Boy is he stressed
He feels like his constant state of being is just standing there, bent over, hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath before you need him again
He’ll admit that he’d rather be assigned to you than someone who never required his help at all
He’d be so bored
But still, did you always have to be so... reckless?
One day it gets to be too much
And Jun slips up
You had already walked under an AC unit falling from someone’s apartment window and he had to send a gust of wind to push you out of the way
Then you stepped out into the street in front of a car speeding down the road
Jun was still in the middle of breathing out a sigh of relief from the first incident
So he didn’t have the time to think of how to save you from the next danger
In his panic he steps forward and grabs you
You feel the hand around your wrist
You feel the force yanking you back out of the street
You see someone out of the corner of your eye
But once you fully turn to thank them, no one is there
You’re turning around over and over to see who you could have missed
But there’s really no one
Jun is watching you from a few feet away, now invisible to your eyes, his heart practically beating out of his chest
He didn’t do anything wrong... did he?
Technically he didn’t get caught by you
Technically 
But that was close 
He needs to be more careful
You have a period of time where you’re just utterly confused about what happened that day
You’re constantly looking over your shoulder wondering if maybe it was something supernatural
You start to notice your close calls with injury/death
And begin to wonder what’s stopping you from actually getting hurt
Sometimes it’s a gust of wind strong enough to push you out of the way, or a loud noise to stop you in your tracks, or sometimes just the kindness of a random stranger who is suddenly overcome with the need to help you
It’s starting to feel impossible how many times you’ve crossed paths with death and walked away fine
You begin to almost... test the waters
Instead of accidentally running into trouble, you start purposely running towards it
Jun is unbelievably stressed
Why do you have to do this? 
He feels like he might die at this rate just from how much he’s stressing out about your safety
Then you put him in a situation where he really has no choice but to help you as himself
You’re walking by a community pool late at night after agreeing to help your friend that works there out by locking up for them so they could go out that night instead of being stuck at work late
There’s no one else there since it’s already closed
It’s dark and slippery
And with you being you, Jun is beyond nervous, so he follows behind you from no more than a foot away
It’s going fine and you’re almost done
So Jun is letting out a sigh of relief
But it was too soon
As you’re passing by to double check that the back door is locked, you slip on the wet floor
You tumble towards the pool and hit your head on the way down
Jun watches in horror as you fall into the water and sink straight to the bottom
He doesn’t hesitate even for a moment to jump in after you
He drags you out and sets you down next to the pool
You’re not waking up and he’s terrified
He begins to perform CPR
Finally you sit up, choking, water streaming out of your mouth
You saw him, you know you did
There’s a boy sitting in front of you even though you knew there was no one in the building besides you
He’s staring into your eyes with such great concern
“Are you ok?”
You nod slowly as he helps you sit up 
“You need to go to the hospital, you hit your head”
You nod at his words again, reaching up the rub your eyes since they’re blurred from the water
“How did you get in-”
You stop mid sentence
As soon as you’ve taken your hands away from your eyes, you look up and see that no one is there
You begin to search around but you really are alone
You’re spooked and also worried that maybe it’s just because you hit your head that hard and immediately head to the hospital 
The doctor discharges you quickly, telling you the hit didn’t do any serious damage and that you just needed to rest and take it easy for a few days
You’re still completely confused by the disappearing boy 
Was he the same person that pulled you out of the street that one day?
Jun begins to observe you closely after these incidents
He can tell you must be thinking about him
Most days when you’re not busy, you’ll be staring off into the distance, your mind trying to explain these strange happenings
And for the first time since he’s ever become a guardian angel, Jun really wants to tell you
Usually he had no issues hiding from the people he was assigned to
But you
He likes the way you live
How you speak to people
Your goals and dreams and how you work towards them
The hobbies you enjoy
He feels happy being your guardian
And while it can be stressful sometimes, he never hates it
It feels, ironically, comfortable to be your guardian
He’s honestly grown quite fond of you
Which is also a big no-no for guardian angels
You should never get too attached to your assigned person
There will come a time where they have to get hurt 
Or a time when their life must come to an end
If a guardian angel is too attached to a human
They may try to change what must be
But Jun hates watching you feel like you’re going insane over not being able to explain these instances 
He wants to be able to explain it all to you
In the end all it takes is one more brush with danger before you’re standing there, Jun’s hand locked around your arm, staring into his eyes after he’s saved you once again
He immediately turns to walk away but you grab his arm
“WAIT! Wait!”
Jun knows he should do anything, anything at all to leave you right then and there so he doesn’t get caught
But he also doesn’t hate the idea of that happening
“I know you!” you say. “You saved me the other day at the pool!” 
“I’m sorry,” he says, turning back to you, “but I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 
“It was you, wasn’t it?” you’re so sure this is the boy from the pool
Jun hesitates
Instead of saying anything, he just holds a finger up to his lips in a shushing motion before finally walking off
And you just stand there in awe
It was him
You go home immediately, beginning to study different supernatural creatures and happenings
You print out pages and pages of all sorts of information on any type of guardian creature you can find
You’re certain this boy is something other than human and you’re sure that whatever he is, he must be in charge of your safety
Now every time you almost get hurt or in trouble, you look around wildly, trying to spot the boy who you’ve only really been able to see twice
Sometimes you’ll catch a glimpse of a figure walking around a corner out of sight, or a being seemingly disappearing into thin air
This boy must be following you everywhere and you’re determined to catch him again
Jun, who is very tired after all of the saving you and then concealing himself moments, sort of just... lets you
One day you turn around after surviving another potentially dangerous moment, and he’s just... standing there
You can’t think of anything else to say, so you just blurt out the question, “Are you my guardian angel?”
Jun just smiles and nods at you, “Nice to finally meet you”
He walks you home that day
And you have a million questions for him
“Did you chose me or were you assigned to me?”
“What abilities do you have?”
“Have you been with me my whole life?”
“Do you have like... a boss?”
“Actually what is the system like?”
“What other supernatural creatures exist?”
“Do you have a name?”
He interrupts your next question by answering, “Jun.”
It silences you for a moment
“I like that name.”
Jun smiles brightly at you
You notice he sort of... glows
To say your relationship moves fast is an understatement
Jun knows your time together will be short
He’s heard what has happened to other guardian angels who have broken the rules
Someone will be coming for him
But he knows he’s in love with you
And wants to make sure he takes advantage of all the moments he has left with you
He’s very forward
But since your safety and comfort is his top priority, he always lets you set the boundaries beforehand
He’ll never do anything you don’t want him to do
But he’s definitely going to do anything and everything that you are ok with him doing
You feel strangely comfortable around him
Obviously you know he’s there to protect you and he’s been there your whole life
But it’s still strange how easy it is for you to just fall right into Jun
He holds your face in his hands and looks at you like you’re the whole world
And to him you are
Nothing has ever mattered to him as much as you
And all he wants to do is spend as much time with you as possible
He wants to go on all the traditional human type dates and do all the cliché human couple things 
The two of you celebrate every human holiday in like a week so he can experience what it’s like lol
On the day you celebrate Valentine’s Day he gets you every cheesy gift he’s ever seen humans get each other
“Jun how am I supposed to sleep with this many giant teddy bears in my room?”
“You’ll figure it out”
Then you two celebrate Christmas and he definitely sets up mistletoe on every doorway
You don’t miss how tightly he holds you at night
Or the way he looks at you like you’re about to disappear
Or the way he always needs to suddenly reach for you to make sure you’re there
You know something is off
Why would your guardian angel suddenly show up out of the blue to spend your life with you?
“Junnie, you’d tell me if I was gonna die right?”
“What? [Y/N], what makes you think you’re gonna die?”
He comes and kneels in front of you and takes your hands in his
“I don’t know, sometimes you just act like... this is all going to end at any moment.”
Jun knows he should tell you 
But he just wants the two of you to stay in your little bubble for as long as possible
“It’s just because I love you so much, and I just want to make sure you’re always safe and happy”
He clings to you even tighter the next few days
He knows he has to tell you asap so he wants to give you the best days of your life
He’s so doting
Makes you breakfast every day
Is always right there to show you affection
Wrapping his arms around you from behind
Resting his head on your chest and gazing up at you
Ruffling you hair
Pressing kisses all over your face
Letting his hands stroke up and down your arms and then all the way down to your fingers sending goosebumps across your skin
And then one day he gives you a gift out of nowhere 
It’s a beautiful necklace that looks like one single angel wing
“Oh Junnie, I love it” you say putting it on immediately
You quickly notice that he’s wearing a necklace with a matching wing
“[Y/N], I need to tell you something.”
He sits close to you and strokes your hands with his thumbs as he lays out the reality of your situation
His heart is in the pit of his stomach by the time he’s finished and he’s ready for you to run away and leave him behind
But when you assure him that you also want to make the most of every moment you have left
He’s so happy he could cry
So you start to take him on all the typical cheesy human dates
So that way the two of you have plenty of happy moments together while also getting to experience everything
The carnival
Picnics
Walks on the beach
Stargazing
And it’s honestly perfect every time
When he stares lovingly down at your face, stroking his thumb slowly up your cheeks then leans in to kiss you slow and sweet under the stars, you feel like you could fly
Your happiness is short lived though
You’re not even surprised when two men show up at your door asking where Jun is
Despite not being surprised, you are devastated 
The two of you put up a good fight
But the ending was inevitable
You watch helplessly as they drag Jun away from you
But before he’s gone completely he calls out to you
“If it’s in this life or the next, in this world or another, I will come back to you”
And as you see the look in his eyes during those last few moments
And see his expression as he says those words
You know that he will
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poptod · 3 years
Note
Hello hello! I have a total spanking fetish (don’t judge me). I’ve been thinking about it all day. Can I just have a detailed spanking fic with whichever Ramigo you choose. Storyline is completely up to you! (No smut, just reader doing something stupid and purely getting punished for it, and lots of aftercare cause I’m a soft b 😽) If this is out of your comfort zone I completely get it 👌🏾 Still think you’re awesome 🤩 
Notes: im gonna judge u a little since ur anon but otherwise, COMPLETELY understand. here u go. have a lovely day WC: 800 something
+
To be fair, you were being a bit of a bitch, but it wasn't on purpose. Just the edge morning had put on you that day. He thinks you're doing it just to get a rise out of him, but by the time you catch onto that you're already aching for a punishing hand. Something to set you right. Something that will hurt.
"You. Are being. Impossible," he grits out, hand twisted in your hair to hold you in place. You whine softly at the sting.
"I'm not fucking doing anything!" You say in full awareness that this will only make the situation worse. Josh is slow to anything resembling anger, but God slay him if he doesn't take every opportunity to play with you.
He says nothing, just drags you from your place on his couch to his bed, releasing your hair to toss you on. The mattress squishes around you as he crawls towards you, leaning all his weight on you to keep you in place.
"How many do you think you deserve?" He asks.
"What?" You ask in genuine curiosity, the many punishments he has for you blurring.
Again he uses his actions instead of words, landing a sharp slap right beneath your thigh. Your exclamation is short lived but just as loud as usual. Even ignoring the fact that he's a good deal taller than you, his hands are large, with long fingers that always know what they're doing. He knows how to get your attention.
"Um," you try to think of an answer before he can slap you again, trying your best to look past the weight of his eyes on yours. "Ten?"
"Nuh-uh baby, I think it should be a little higher," he says, trailing his fingers higher up your inner thigh, bringing a sharp gasp out of you.
"T - twenty?"
He seems to take a moment to contemplate the number, ultimately nodding and pulling himself off you. Before you can situate yourself properly he's pulling you into his lap, your waist on his legs and face dug into the bedsheets. Already your hands are twisted in the fabric, awaiting the feel of his hands on you.
At first his touch is gentle – sliding up and down your naked thighs, tracing the curve of your butt and the skin on your back. Anticipation settles itself in your head, swirling through your fantasies with pin-point accuracy. You wiggle your hips a little.
"Someone's being needy," he says in a low voice, and all touch on you ceases. You whine, burying your face back in the blankets.
"Josh, please," you beg before he can even ask you.
"Really?" He chuckles. "No, go on. Beg me to hurt you. Beg for me to punish you."
"Fuck," you mutter beneath your breath, "please touch me, Josh. Please put me in my place."
Your cheeks burn with embarrassment. He doesn't usually ask you to do such direct things.
"Mmm, there you go. Such a good little slut," he says, almost whispers it in your ear before his hand is coming down fast, leaving a stinging sensation in its' absence. You lurch forward just slightly, mouth falling open with a soft moan.
He doesn't make you count – which you thank God for since you can barely bring yourself to form words – but he does make sure you're still alert for all of it. He doesn't hold back either, each spank its' own feeling that burns heat throughout your whole body. From your blush to the warmth beneath your thighs and the red marks on your butt, you're practically humming with sick satisfaction.
"Ten."
You're only at ten?
Eleven comes a little harder than the last and you can't break down the moan you let out, so pornographic you could swear you're melting into him. The smack sound that comes from the contact echoes in your ears. You fade into the touch, just slightly, appreciating the pain he gives you.
"You're doing so good for me, baby," he says, and even in your state you can hear the need that laces his tone. "Six more."
By the time he reaches 20 there's unshed tears in your eyes. This isn't the most he's ever given you, by far, but it's still a lot. His praise fills the gaps in your trailing thoughts, disturbed by him moving and returning with cool lotion that he massages into your red skin. Coos and whispers of 'you did so well,' and 'so perfect' come from him as he does his best to soothe the biting pain away.
When he finishes and you're curled up into his chest, he strokes your hair, letting you relax for a moment before he speaks.
"Is there anything wrong today?" He asks softly, careful not to disturb the peace.
"No, I'm okay," you mumble. "Just a bit stressed."
"Do you want me to help with that?"
"More than you already did?" You ask, shifting so you can look up at him.
A devious little smile crosses his face.
"Something in that vein of things," he says with that shit-eating grin you adore and hate at the same time.
"You're such a manwhore."
"Ouch. Says the one who loves getting spanked."
"I did say ouch," you giggle, and though it takes him a second to process the joke you're making, he does chuckle.
"I fucking love you."
He says that every time you say anything resembling a pun. Fucking doof.
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scoobhead · 3 years
Note
Hey I took ur ouran quiz and the questions were awesome and I did indeed get dragged to filth, as has everyone in the tags, but I think we're all too embarrassed to post pictures of our results bc the callouts were so accurate kjshdfkjsdhf but im so curious abt the others,,, would you mind posting all the descriptions you did? I'm so curious. either way thanks for a banger of a quiz!
AH omg i’m so glad people are enjoying it!! and im sorry that people are getting called out lol but I did try to warn you. im mad that uquiz doesn’t have a “see all results” feature but here are all of the descriptions!!
haruhi:
you give off main character energy but also don't give a shit about being the main character. if you got this answer you probably also relate to tamaki or kyoya but ONLY one of them. you have mixed feelings about the other. you don't think you can experience love the way everyone else talks about it. you crave physical touch but your intimacy issues prevent you from seeking it out so you're stuck wishing anyone else would initiate it and anticipate your needs. people have said that they were drawn to you and a GOOD number of people have told you that they liked you. 9/10 times their crush was unrequited. you're still friends with all of them. hope ur doing well with that gender crisis you're going through!
tamaki:
wow. you're truly a dramatic bitch. maybe people find you a little grating but you're charming enough that they still hang around you for some reason??? ur a big romantic and your expectations will never match reality. every time you pass a mirror you get caught up in your own reflection, even if you don't consider yourself attractive. your self esteem swings WILDLY between "i'm a terrible person and no one really likes me" and "i'm perfect and everyone wants to be me". you definitely have SOME kind of parental complex and you projected way too hard on disney movies in your childhood. how is your hyperfixation with beauty and the beast treating you now? you genuinely want to be a good person but you find that your actions often have unintended consequences. being a wine mom (or your gender equivalent) is absolutely in your future. you're pretentious as fuck and your favorite book is probably pride and prejudice or the picture of dorian gray or some fruity shit. also you're in love with your best friend and im sorry
kyoya:
you have written PARAGRAPHS of analysis about whatever show or movie you're hyperfixated on and definitely talked about it with people who aren't familiar with the source material. you're just a little bit of an asshole (or at least you think you are) but you have a close group of friends nonetheless. you're a good liar and everyone hates playing among us with you. debate is your love language. you wonder constantly why anyone likes you at all. despite this, you're surprisingly loyal (even beyond your own expectations). you like being in charge of a situation even if people don't view you as the leader outright. you're never manipulative with malicious intent but you enjoy seeing the influence you have on others. usually this amounts to introducing them to a new show or hobby. people have told you that they've liked you and your first instinct was to say "thank you, but no you don't". you're just emotionally unavailable enough to be ~intriguing~ but consider swallowing your pride enough to tell the people in your life that you love them.
hikaru:
you know that feeling where you make a joke and maybe one or two people really laugh at it but everyone else doesn't know how to respond? of course you do. you have a very defined sense of humor and you feel like there are only a handful of people who really get you. in reality, part of this stems from the fact that you judge other people, make assumptions, and are slow to forgive. you've definitely given a friend the silent treatment for DAYS... and what was it for? are you happy living life this way? do you so love believing yourself to be misunderstood? i promise there are other people out there who like your obscure interests just as much as you do. pause your early 00s pop punk for a second and get over urself.
kaoru:
are you excited for the big recital coming up? you must be, since you've been playing second fiddle for so long. you're probably disappointed with this response. you wanted to be a main character. you feel like sometimes ur a background character in your own life. most of your friends are people you met through pre-existing friendships and you pretty exclusively hang out in groups. you're a good person and people enjoy your company, but there's maybe only one or two people who would call you their BEST friend. that's okay. you feel the same way. you rarely come up with plans or jokes, but you can "yes and" like there's no tomorrow. maybe your life is a little boring, but at least its comfortable. it's a shame, though. there are a lot of people who could help bring you out of your comfort zone, if you'd let yourself leave your bubble every now and again.
honey:
so. you have a complex. that's okay! most people do. you just HAVE to be the hottest person at the supermarket or the friend that EVERYONE loves. you have a lot of friends but only a few people who really, truly know you. you use humor or flirting or playing dumb to deflect from the fact that you have a SHIT ton of walls up around you and you're afraid to let anyone beyond the facade you put up. you aren't hurting anyone by doing this, but it does get a little lonely sometimes. you like the attention you get, even if it's pretty surface-level. you have a weird thing about crying in front of other people: either you do it too often or you absolutely REFUSE to. you just want to be held. and honestly? don't we all.
mori:
holy shit. you're SEXY. you know EXACTLY when to shut the fuck up and it's hot. it's a double-edged sword, though. when was the last time you let yourself be someone's shoulder to cry on? and when was the last time YOU cried on someone else's shoulder? hm. might want to work on that. you don't think too highly of yourself, but you recognize you're a kind person. bit of a doormat tho. perhaps you've even been called "subservient". it's a shame you're so emotionally closed off, because your friends would honestly love for you to open up more. if you did anything competitive in high school--choir, drama, band, sports, etc.--you were never a soloist or the star player. you played defense, didn't you? you were in the chorus, weren't you? i bet you were in percussion (not the quads tho). your biggest flaw is that you refuse to acknowledge how important you are to other people. there's a gardener and a flower in every relationship, and it's time you started being the flower.
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samwritesforyou · 4 years
Text
We’re gonna be okay
Diego x reader
Summary: You and Diego worked out a system for a situation if he ever comes to your place while being in the highest form of distress and needs your help. He assured you it won’t happen often. Until one night, it finally did.
A/N: i feel like i’ve read the whole tumblr dot com worth of diego x reader fanfics and yet i still wanted more, so the desperate need to finally write something myself has been fulfilled. i would actually love to take requests, so if you want, dont hesitate to message/ask me! im ready to write fics and headcanons :) (my blog might seem new but ive been on tumblr for years and years and i finally dedicated a new blog to mostly reader inserts, either my own or reblogging others)
Warnings: Mentions of a panic attack, gender neutral reader
Wordcount: 3,350
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There was a knock on the door.
It was pretty late, but not too late for it to be Diego yet.
Or so you thought.
You got up kinda lazily from a comfortable chair you had situated in the corner of a room, at first designed mainly for reading or napping, but ending up doing absolutely whatever you could on the spot. Eating pizza, watching netflix, browsing through the internet after long working hours that you put in into your tiny art selling business.
You slightly opened the door and already plastered a semi-fake smile for a possible neighbor, but in front of you stood Diego.
Your dear friend, who was at the moment soaked from the rain outside, with big eyes, fast breathing and bloody hands.
Bloody hands?!
“Hello to you too, friend!” you said quite worried, quickly patting him down for signs of any physical pain. For the first time in a while he seemed fine, unscarred.
Your eyes finally went up, literally scanning his face but it was completely unreadable.
His eyes were wide and he looked as if he couldn’t comprehend what was going on around him.
You looked down again and took his fists into your hands. His own palms unclenched and you could see that they were heavily bloodied.
“Diego.. whose blood is it?”
No answer.
You rushed him inside and closed the door behind the two of you, facing the damn vigilante again.
“Diego, I need to know who’s blood is on your hands,” your voice grew steadier as you knitted your brows together in worry and confusion.
Only then the guy decided to move his arms and you noticed how shaky he is. He connected his two index fingers in the form of a cross, pressing it to his chest.
Your own eyes went wide now as you stumbled back a few steps and your mind went blank.
.
.
.
You instantly remembered a night that happened a few years back. He has come in crumbling through your window and was obviously in some new form of distress, that you couldn’t quite understand yet.
“Diego?” it seemed like your voice didn’t reach his ears, so you tried calling out his name again, getting up from the couch and patting him lightly on the body, to determine any sign of an injury.
It looked like there was none, so you tried to reach his gaze that was somewhat absentminded, all over the place, scanning everything but not meeting your eyes.
He was a tough guy, and you knew it. You knew that if you want to get answers, you need to either get them yourself or make yourself heard, until he cannot ignore you any longer.
“Diego Hargreeves, what is going on?” your voice was soft yet determined.
His dark orbs finally stopped on your face and he just shook his head, his breathing oddly fast for a man who was just simply standing.
You continued to push. You didn’t have the best day either, and to be interrupted at 1am by his visit was nothing new, but you couldn’t let him have this behaviour. Even though you’re friends, that didn’t automatically mean that he could do whatever he wanted.
Throughout the whole night he didn’t say a thing, but when you started adding volume to your voice, he.. he just broke down.
That night, you’ve witnessed Diego experience a panic attack. Caused by yourself.
You couldn’t fall asleep that night, even after you eventually calmed him down and the only thing that was left to do for you was to watch him sleep and slowly rubbing circles on his exposed arm out of the blanket.
It felt like neons before you noticed a first ray of sunshine drawing from the half-closed curtains, making you spring to your feet and drag your ass to the kitchen, trying to think of what to do for breakfast.
When you figured the recipe out and finished cooking, Diego was already up and joined you near the kitchen counter, next to which you had two stools.
He settled on one of them, looking at you.
“Hey.”
“Hey,” you couldn’t muster anything better, so you just put a plate in front of him and then sat next to his side, simply digging into your portion of scrambled eggs.
“About last night, y/n..” he drifted off, probably at first deciding that it’s better to fill his stomach a little bit.
In the meantime you didn’t dare to speak up and just waited for him to say something, anything.
When he finished his meal, he finally turned to you with a sigh.
“You know that one guy I told you ‘bout? That we.. we do some vigilante shit together from time to time?”
You just nodded, not meeting his eyes.
“Well. I guess I could count him as a close friend. You know.. and,” this was followed by a slight pause and clearing of the throat.
“He died yesterday. I couldn’t save him.”
Your eyes immediately shot up to Diego and all that vulnerability and hurt that you’ve clearly seen yesterday just overtaking him were completely gone. Now present only a strong facade that he mastered whenever he needed to hide from showing emotions. You hated it.
“Shit, Diego..” you spoke quietly and softly, all the words seemed to have left you in all the things unsaid in your throat. But you tried to continue.
“I’m sorry. And I’m also sorry for pushing you over the edge. I.. I didn’t know what happened so I just acted how we would normally do,” he smirked at that, merely for a second, but you still caught it.
“Look, I.. I know, “ he simply said and then it felt as if he was weighting pros and cons of telling you something else that was clearly on his chest.
“You always help me out. Every single night I come to you.. Why do you do it, y/n?” Diego’s eyes were steadily turned your way.
At the sudden question you raised an eyebrow, “well, I.. I care about you.”
He lightly bit his lower lip and turned his gaze away, clearly thinking about something really hard.
“Okay,” he finally said, “y/n, do you think I could ask you for a favour then?”
At that your eyes met and you felt nervous, for some reason.
You really liked him. Not just like a friend. But you understood that there probably won’t be a chance for you two to ever become a couple (mostly considering that you didn’t believe that he could feel about you this way), so you settled for friendship anyways, since you two really got along well.
And having this handsome tough guy as a friend? Damn, just that is already some kind of luck swinging your way.
But your feelings of course meant that.. you’d do more for him than what you’d do just for a friend. You would get out of your comfort zone just to help him with injuries or hear him talk about his girlfriend (at the time, now they were broken up) and how they argued so much that he ended up on the streets and didn’t really want to go to his lonely place at the gym.
And you took him in. You always did. And since the day you became friends you always care for him.
And you’d care now once again.
“What is it?” in your tone danced a question, troubled with what he might ask for.
“Well, yesterday-“ he cut himself from finishing and cleared his throat, starting over.
“I imagine we’re gonna be friends for a long time, right?”
You just pushed your brows up with a small nod in affirmation.
“I never had.. anyone, really, to help me with the states I often got into,” you immediately thought of Eudora, wasn’t his ex-girlfriend supposed to be his support pillar? Or is he just making you feel sorry for him-
“Or I didn’t ever trust anyone that much, you know,” oh, okay, that kind of explains that then.
“And I guess.. I trust you enough? To share this?” he talked quietly and mumbled a lot so you realised soon you won’t be able to hear him at all.
You grabbed his hands with yours and caught his attention this way.
You were never really touchy together, but occasional hugs and even holding hands was kind of a standard for you from time to time.
His eyes met yours again and you cursed yourself for your heartbeat getting faster. This is not an appropriate moment to get butterflies in your stomach, dammit.
“I’m listening, Diego,” you confirmed, nodding again.
“Okay. It’s- it’s just really h-hard to talk about this,” he stuttered a bit, but with the next breath continued again, “When there’s some situation that’s just completely fucked up, like losing someone close to me, or- or somethin’ else, I don’t know.. I finish what I need at the scene where it happened but when I come home I just,” he breathed some air in and you felt his hands squeeze yours a bit tighter, “I just break down, you know? Sometimes it’s just all too much for me and I don’t know how to deal with it and I would just wanna.. someone to hold me, I guess? Otherwise when someone’s trying to talk at me or somethin’ I just get even more worked up and it’s even worse.”
It all started to come together in your mind. Even though it sounded really strange to hear Diego talk about things like.. wanting to be held and shit. But you always guessed there’s a far bigger sweetheart and a soft boy underneath all those harness and knives.
You tried to pick your words carefully.
“So when I started to ask you shit.. You just flipped. Basically because I was talking at you a lot and you couldn’t take it anymore, right?”
He sighed and looked somewhere up, nodding bit by bit.
“Yeah, yep. That was it.”
You clapped at his hands lightly, to bring his focus back again and he looked at you and mustered a sad, faint smile.
You did the same. In the world you lived in, unforeseen and unfortunate events were happening left and right and thinking about his childhood and everything.. no wonders he developed such a huge reaction and coping mechanism to something catastrophic happening.
“That’s okay, Diego. I’m here for you, I mean it. Let’s just talk about some things what I should and shouldn’t do when you come here in that state, alright? I just want you to feel comfortable.”
“Alright. Thank you, y/n,” he was looking down now, the whole morning kinda failing to meet your gaze and just rubbed his thumb across your hand, which send you heart into a race again.
You slowly let go of him, making an excuse to go wash the dishes.
After a while you looked behind you where he sat and said, “We also need some sort of a sign that you can easily show me, since you’re not really talkative when you get like this.”
Apparently he already used said “sign” somewhere, because he had it on the ready.
It was his hands clutching in fists, index fingers crossing each other in a form of a cross, pressed to his chest.
“Something like this. But don’t worry, I don’t think it’ll happen often. That would be really sad,” he laughed a little and then looked at you somewhat longingly and you averted your eyes back to the sink, nodding.
.
.
You almost forgot about that and now it all come flooding back.
Something terrible must’ve happened. You were panicking, but you had to stay strong, for him.
He was still standing in your hallway, with a crossed index fingers pressed to his chest.
“Okay, okay..” you mumbled more to yourself than to him, taking his hands into yours and looking him up and down.
He really seemed.. disconnected. It was kind of scary and you tried so hard not to think about what happened. Or about who died.
“Here, come with me, Diego,” you led him by the hand towards your couch as he was holding onto you, but his usual grip was gone.
You both ended up on a sofa and you really didn’t know how to act around him now, because.. he didn’t talk, didn’t look at you but when he did, his eyes were wide and big and he just seemed suddenly like a small boy to you.
Hopefully he won’t remember this tomorrow, you thought and tried to smile a little bit at him.
“Okay. Can you get your hands up for me, baby boy?” You’ve decided to approach this situation as if you were just babysitting an overgrown child.
Because nothing bad happens to children normally, right? And if you kept thinking about him as usual grown man Diego, you’d lose your mind in the process, wanting to scream and shake him by the shoulders until he spills you what happened.
Being Diego’s friend pushed you to new limits each day, truly.
He didn’t bat an eyelid at your tone change and word choosing, just obliging and putting his hands up.
You helped him to get his knives down and put his black turtleneck over his head, so now he sat shirtless right next to you, hands still smeared with blood.
Goddamit the blood!
You took him by the elbows and lead Diego to the bathroom, where you helped to get the red out of his hands. At the sight of blood dripping down into the sink you deciphered a whimper from him, even through the sound of running water and looked up.
Diego couldn’t stop looking down at his hands and tears were running down his cheeks.
You quickly took his face into your wet hands from the water and forced him to look away and lock his gaze with yours.
“Hey, don’t look at it, okay? It’ll only make you stressed. Until I’m done you can just close you eyes, okay?”
“Oh-okay,” he said and just closed his eyes here and there.
You sighed and tried to finish washing his hands as fast as possible, cursing under your breath pretty often.
“I’m sorry..” you heard him mumble and when you looked up, his eyes were still shut.
“Nothin’ to be sorry about.. We’ll talk about this tomorrow, right? Don’t worry. You’re safe now,” you smiled as you were already wrapping his hands in a towel and his eyelashes fluttered, eyes opening.
You stayed looking at each other for a second longer than necessary, but then you already lead him away to the bedroom area, where you actually tucked him in, wrapping in a soft blanket and then rushed to the kitchen, grabbing a few cookies and then leaving it on a plate next to him on the night table. 
 You almost made yourself comfortable on the couch, when he suddenly called out your name from the bed.
You sprung to your feet, thinking he’s actually hurt but you didn’t notice or that- “Can you... stay with me? P-please?” he asked, disrupting your train of thought. You did expect this, but still felt really shy about that.
Diego is vulnerable right now and does need your help and presence though.
And there wouldn’t be anything you wouldn’t do for him.
“Sure,” and after this simple answer you carefully climbed in next to him covering you both with a blanket and he curled up closer to you, almost immediately falling asleep.
From one point of view it felt like you wouldn’t sleep at all tonight, but from the other one.. you actually fell asleep just as fast as he did.
.
.
To nobody’s surprise you woke up first and actually flinched at the sight of sleeping Diego inches from your own face.
Your mind went running with ideas what happened and what’s going on until you realised the real deal and your brain caught up to yesterday’s shenanigans.
It was a wild ride and you were thankful that now it’s - most probably - over.
Your eyes were subconsciously scanning his face, until you realised what you’re doing, but you didn’t stop even then.
You’ve never been this close to his face yet and now you could admire and explore every part of it.
Having feelings for a friend that’s laying in the same bed with you at the moment is really not the healthiest thing that could’ve happened to you, huh..
You actually froze and your heart started racing billion times faster when you realised that you have a weight of his arm around your waist, pulling you closer from his sleep.
He grunted and his nose was now in your hair, shuffling a little to get more comfortable.
You had no idea how to change positions, especially when being held by such a strong arm as his and you got a feeling like Diego might actually wake up just about now, so the best solution that came into your mind was to forcefully close your eyes shut and pretend that you’re still sleeping.
He did, indeed, wake up. You were suddenly pushed to the other side of the bed, arm disappearing from your waist and a waterfall of curses fell from his lips quietly.
You used up all your acting stamina to make a believable scene of you gaining your conscious from the deep slumber that you were obviously in, stretched your arms for a good effect and finally opened your eyes.
You immediately signed up for a staring contest as soon as you looked at him and smiled a little. His face remained unreadable but perhaps a little bit flustered?.. But you may be reading too much into it.
“Hi,” you said with a higher tone than intended and Diego just nodded at that.
You tried your luck by addressing the elephant in the room right away, you never liked ignoring the problems that were always looming over you, “care to tell me what happened yesterday?”
He drew a big sigh and rested his head back on the pillow, looking up at the ceiling.
You couldn’t stop looking at him. At first because you really wanted to know the mystery, but the longer you looked at him, the more you realised that you’re just admiring the beauty that he holds, until his words fell like a dead weight right onto your shoulders.
“I found Eudora’s body yesterday. I couldn’t get to the place in time and someone killed her.”
What?
It felt like what he said was simply a trick of your imagination. You liked Eudora yourself, she was a very intelligent and an interesting person, you two often hung out and that feeling didn’t cease even after you found out that she and Diego started dating.
And even when they broke up some months after, you still found your way to spend time with her. So did Diego.
You wanted to cry, but thought that it might be insensitive towards him, because he was much closer to her than you were, so you tried to swallow your forming tears down.
“I’m.. I’m so sorry, Diego..”
“It’s your loss too, I know it, y/n,” he looked at you with much softer look this time.
“Come here,” he said a little bit hesitantly and opened up one arm towards you.
This was unusual, but maybe last night’s events tore down some walls?.. Who knows.
You almost threw yourself into his embrace and once your forehead rested on his chest, you started crying.
From everything, honestly. There’s been problems at work, your seemingly unrequited feelings for Diego didn’t help much either and now you learned that you lost one of your friends.
He started rubbing circles on your back, just letting you get those emotions out, while you two were hugging each other on the bed in your apartment.
And as you slowly started to calm down, he said a gentle, “it’s gonna be okay. We’re gonna be okay”
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radbutsafe · 3 years
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ALL FUCKIN 35 OF THEM SKLNWESDJFPXO
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I SHOULDVE EXPECTED THIS FROM YOU
1. From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!)
A three! I think I’m mid range cause I ain’t terrible but there is still shit I gotta improve and grow in my writing
2. Why do you write fanfiction?
to manifest what canon won’t give me and to write more! (though yes it is mainly about the smooching and the— I’ll stop there LOL)
3. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?
Hm! My weird research details? I’m that “fun fact, did you know...” in my fics sometimes LOL! I plan on giving a penthouse for erina in a fic and I went through penthouse listings in Japan for floor layouts and locations💀 my research gives me inspo and depth to stuff I think I lack in comparison to others sometimes.
4. Are there any writers that inspire you?
In terms of fellow fic writers, one of them I can’t name here but she’s an inspiration with her exceptional gift for prose period and her lovely skill at comedy! I want to be as funny as her when I write, I love her ironic situational humor. Other fic writers are @takoyakitenchou, @royaldragonsevgisi15 who I always love sharing ideas with and motivate me to create more! For non-fic writers it would be V.E. Schwab, Leigh Bardugo, Oda, and Horikoshi! The last two may be mangaka, however they are writers as well to create their stories! The depth these creators have given their worlds and interesting characters theyve given life to are all what I aspire to be like!
5. What’s the fic you’re most proud of?
so far uh?? hm everything I’m currently writing are wips lol!! im proud of my wip that has been nicknamed ‘soma panics’ that is a multi-chapter fic that spans like probs 20 plus chapters maybe
6. What element of writing do you find comes easily?
dialogue! it’s so much fun! and character thoughts. I’ve said to people I may be better suited for script writing
7. What element of writing do you struggle with most?
I think it’s description, of like setting and showing action. also an expansion of my vocabulary LOL
8. Which character(s) do you find easiest to write?
erina! I think it’s because canon has shown us many of her different faces and range of emotion.
9. Which character(s) do you find most difficult to write?
SOMA!! chill ass mofo whos more carefree compared to the common shonen protagonist! for other shokugeki characters I’m not sure just yet because I haven’t flexed my fingers enough for the rest of them.
10. What’s your favorite genre to write for?
I guess I should say romance cause that’s what I mostly write LOL!
11. Who or what do you find yourself writing about most?
sorina and I try to get them to smooch eventually KEK and yeah it’s..usually romantic fluff lmao
12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about.
HONESTLY ALL OF THEM but “soma panics” is my brain child
13. First fandom you ever wrote for?
pretty sure it’s digimon....
14. What’s your favorite fandom to write for?
currently shokugeki no soma!!!!
15. What’s the weirdest fandom you’ve ever written for?
uhhhh I guess SNS? LMAO fandoms...all have their quirks to them.
16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?
characters cuddling!!!! or getting the urge to smooch!!!!
17. A trope you’ll never, ever write for.
unrequited love GOOD FUCKIN BYEEEEEE
18. Wildest fic you’ve ever written?
I have plot ideas thst can be wild potentially but so far nothing fits this criteria so far that I actually have written.
19. Do you prefer canon-compliant, AUs, or something in-between?
depends on the fandom, but if written well, all of it!
20. Gen fic or shippy stuff?
shippy 100% like I said I like smoochin
21. Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!)
romantic is...*drumroll* SORINA! platonic, soutaku and erina and alice!
22. Do you listen to anything while you write?
Sometimes! There are times songs will be on loop and times I just shuffle a playlist. and if I’m writing in random bursts it’ll be with no music but it really does depend lmao I think music is when I’m forcing myself to write?
23. Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas?
completely independent ideas, I’ve realized in the past prompts shoot me in the foot often unless I luckily figure something out. but I’m often driven by my own sporadic self interest with shitty ping ponging attention
24. One-shots or multi-chaptered works?
multi-chap I guess cause I can post without being finished LOLLL but tbh can I really answer? I haven’t finished anything.....
25. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them!
I can’t answer this question imo because I haven’t finished a fic yet so technically stuff could all fit in the one fic?
26. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try?
MYSTERY AND CRIME! I love the genre and I have plot ideas once a blue moon but I can’t dive in because I want to make details that work and reduce plot holes where suspension of disbelief isn’t as needed. I need to study it more (I need to study all the details for any of my fics imo to be confident sometimes LOL)
27. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received?
I don’t think I can say one comment was the nicest because I’ve gotten comments that have given me quite the smiles to my face many times! I know this is a cop out but it’s true!
IS WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY UNTIL REINA SENT ME THE FOLLOWING ON DISCORD LIKE TWENTY MINS AGO:
and also rad. i am never this vocal about my emotions like EVER but this needs to be said your fics are obviously far from perfect, as are mine and everyone else's. but the thing about your works is that they're so well-sanded that it's impossible to find any rough edges or faults in them in terms of cohesion to a plot. your cast is never OOC and the amount of effort you devote to developing your takes on the characters as accurately as possible is unimaginably awe-inspiring.
BITCH I WANNA CRY 😭
28. How well do you handle criticism when it comes to your writing?
I’d like to believe I take it often well to try and improve because that’s always my goal. if someone is rude lol that’s not constructive snd is unhelpful. If I disagree with criticism I’ll explain why !
29. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out?
Not yet, but I have some plot ideas I think will let me test this.
30. Tooth-rotting fluff or merciless angst?
F L U F F.
31. Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them!
elliott fuji, a japanese-american award winning photographer who is erina’s boyfriend in ‘soma panics’ which..causes soma’s panic LOL he’s 30 with slightly wavy black hair. I still haven’t pinpointed his personality just yet...he kind of humble brags for sure an artsy fucker and flirts maybe I’ll make him a lil shy though. he teaches sometimes, and becomes an adjunct photography professor in Tokyo so he can be with erina.
32. Summarize a random fic of yours in 10 words or less.
a cook is unfashionably late in realizing his feelings.
33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?
I am a slow. so slow. motivation who is she? I also write out of order, unfortunately a bit too often.
34. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.
this should be for the fic ‘soma panics’ it’s either megumi or satoshi talkin to him rn, I’m leaning towards satoshi
“You thought she would always wait for you, didn’t you Soma-kun? To always welcome you home.”
Soma drags his palms down his face and groans. He doesn’t like this at all. He doesn’t shy from confrontation but this is a whole different ballgame. Soma doesn’t play any ball.
“I guess..?” Is his reply, because he thinks he isn’t sure how to answer that.
“You guess?”
Just being questioned again is enough to crack Soma’s pathetic facade as if it was dropped chinaware and he lets out the longest sigh.
“No.”
Coming home means coming home to Nakiri Erina too.
Nakiri Erina is his forever.
this is @takoyakitenchou’s excerpt she’s most proud of that I’ve written, which is also from you guessed it, the long fic soma panics
SOMA: I am, I mean I will be, I swear I will always come home to you, not spend as much time abroad, once I’m done with work I’ll come right back. I’ll make sure to message you. Nakiri, I’m in love you with you. Maybe for a really long time. You know how I say I dedicate my food to you? My dad—my dad said that the key to become a good chef is to find someone to dedicate your cooking to. A special someone. For my dad it was my mom, you know? For me it’s...
(this is a good piece of dialogue tbh so I am also proud of this)
35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!
I’ve mentioned it throughout this but the WIP I’ve nicknamed ‘soma panics’ is something I’m super excited to write, but it’s going on slowly...and almost completely out of order. out of all of my writing it showed off that particular habit of mine, along with “what is this, a shoujo manga?!” though the latter is currently being written chronologically now that I’ve posted chapter one and is pretty solid in direction. it was originally supposed to be a one shot but I got impatient and wanted to post at least something for the sorina / soueri fandom.
however, because ‘soma panics’ (I won’t call it that LOL) is my baby I want to keep true to my rule of refusing to post it until I have a draft of the entire fic finished and I’m satisfied with the main points pretty much. due to my writing out of order, I’m worried I’ll change my mind about scenes or want to reflect things in earlier chapters for later ones etc etc
I joined the SnS fandom extremely late, as season five was airing. I was a fan of the manga five years ago and dropped it because I forgot to check for updates when I caught up 😔 I really want to bang out the different fics and aus for sorina that I have before the fandom fizzles out entirely but tbh I’m writing for myself, I’m manifesting what I want to see and I’ll just share it with all my friends to read if no one else will. cause I’m slow broski I dunno what writing fast even is like LMAO I do really want to write faster though, so I can contribute more and let the words free from the discord dms....
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