#what a shitty fucking day

[ceo-of-lesbians]

Can someone take me out back and shoot me in the head with a double barrel shotgun at point blank range, please?

#what a shitty fucking day #thoughts of nova

[kimjiwoong]

i’m honestly so confused as to how parents can raise kids that are just so... evil. like today i was treated like shit by a literal 5th grader. how can u raise ur child so badly that he yells at his teacher that he can do whatever he wants cause ‘i pay your salary anyway’ like what kind of thing are u telling ur kid?? 

#fuck rich ppl and the kids they raise #rose.txt #what a shitty fucking day

[aryastark-baratheon]

I have had a day. Had a day off yesterday and I was just recovering from the flu so I thought I’d go out and chill with some friends cause I was pms’ing and feeling like shit and thought it’d do me well. Went to the movies to see the little mermaid (for the second time) and then went to get a few drinks with some friends afterwards at a nice bar. Had too much to drink like the alcoholic bitch that I am, being drunk made me forget it was cold (and that I was sick) and I ended up staying out in the cold without a jacket until the early hours of the morning. Woke up feeling awfully sick again, hoarse throat, UNBEARABLE headache, coughing uncontrollably, hungover to the brink of death (why do hangovers have to feel like death after turning 30?), GOT MY FUCKING PERIOD and then last but not least, FUCKING CRAMPS. And bad ones too. And, of course, I had a dinner thing that I couldn’t skip. Dragged myself there looking barely decent and who was there? MY FUCKING EX!!!!! I mean for fuck’s sake. I swear the universe was out to get me today. And it did. It got me. I’m finally back home, in my comfy pj’s and tucked under my comfy covers, ready to do the ONE thing that can make me feel better: obsess over Pedro and read fanfiction. Have a good weekend everyone!

#ramblings #just ignore me #i had to vent #what a shitty fucking day #i made it though #and without causing a scene with my ex too #if life was a fanfic this is when a javi or a joel or a frankie would show up in my life #and sweep me off my feet #HEAVY SIGH #i wish #personal post

[front-facing-pokemon]

#galarian slowpoke #picture this. this was the first pokémon revealed from the new DLCs for pokémon sword and shield. the pokémon company #up until this point‚ has never done DLC for a pokémon game before. you‚ having been jaded by shitty DLCs for other games in the past #now have a distaste for the phrase‚ and imagine this can't be good. then‚ in their teaser for the new DLC‚ they add a little event #into the game where they reveal one of the new pokémon that is going to be added in the DLC #and it is a galarian form. that is identical to the original pokémon. but with a yellow head #are you imagining it. now how fucking disappointed are you. how little faith do you have in that DLC that it's going to be as good as it wa #for the most part‚ the pokémon company has demonstrated that they do absolutely excellent DLCs. proper expansions #basically an entire other game on top of the game you already have. and they typically take up the release cycle of a full game #scarlet/violet's especially. WONDERFUL dlc. i never really properly finished the crown tundra just because i was so late to the party #because i avoided buying the dlc for so long because of this experience that i've just described to you #that by the time i bought it and played it‚ it was just because SV had been announced and i wanted more pokémon to tide me over #and i never finished it. one of these days‚ i'd like to go back and finish it‚ but i'm playing through pokémon xd gale of darkness right no #and i prefer to play. one game at a time. and i don't know when i'll ever really get back to it #or if i'll ever get back to it! 'cause without resetting my save file all the way i'll just have to Remember what it is that already happen #which i'm. notoriously bad at when it comes to coming back to games that i haven't played in a while #plus i know sv is like shitty performance or whatever but the movement in that game is so much better #it feels so much more freeing than going back to gen 8 where you can still just. run. and that's it #i know nobody likes scarlet/violet but i still. like it. performance aside. like yes the performance is terrible but i still had a great #time with it. i just praised its DLC for fuck's sake! its DLC was fuckin wonderful! it has kieran in it so it like can't be bad

[flowerflamestars]

Haunted Holy & Divine snippet

“When you torture people,” Nesta said, flatly. “For whatever it is they’ve done. They throw them in the dark and they throw them to you.” There had never been a choice. Azriel was the bastard son of an Illyrian lord. There was only blood, for him. It would have been swords and battlefields. A lifetime of war. Killing his own, when the disobeyed. Crippling his own, when they dreamt of more. Azriel’s hands would have always had to do the work- for Rhain, for Shahar, for Rhysand. It was no small thing that had made him what he was, but it was no choice either. “I mean you no harm,” Azriel settled on saying, nearly soundless. Colorless, as the deepening shadow, his many many forebears in Night’s unholy work crowding close in cold comfort. It was no physical nearness, but Nesta’s eyes flickered up, following what was not light like a moth. “What is the point in hurting them,” she huffed. “What is the point, when you?” She made a vast slashing gesture toward him, lingering enough Azriel could not reign in the shadows that slipped, trying to coil around her aching wrist in support. “You don’t need a knife to know.” No, he didn’t. And the first century of his work for the throne, Truthteller had been nothing but a friend, a mark of respect: Azriel might carry of sword at times, might have survived training, but he would never carry a blessed blade of his people. So Rhain had made him one. Starsteel did not bend for High Fae hands, but it had melted. Become something better, worse, beneath Azriel’s young, unfettered grip. “I don’t.” Azriel admittedly, softly. “I do not choose what my High Lord asks of me.”

#Little baby lonely Azriel making a KNIFE HIS SENTIENT FRIEND #Nesta: this is the stupidest torture bullshit I've ever heard #AND ITS INEFFICIENT #Also Nesta: freakboy what is GOING ON? #Azriel (lowkey covered in drying blood. just bodily tore a man apart. Just. a fucking brick wall) blinking huge soft brown eyes: do you nee #a snack? #he is soft and violent and so soooo weird actually I love him #is he sexy??? #I mean. Nesta thinks so #Nesta having the strangest best worst most traumatic day and STILL #having time to notice shitty policy? #yes that is who she IS #Vows are doing the WORK in this story #Nezriel

[dimonds456]

It is not okay to speculate whether or not someone is suicidal. If they claim to be, you should 100% take that shit seriously and give them the benefit of the doubt.

That said, if someone is using their own suicidality as a weapon to gain sympathy, emotionally manipulate someone, or to push other people down, GENUINELY fuck that person. While it's not okay for us to doubt that statement just because they're weaponizing it, that also doesn't mean we need to ALLOW that manipulation to convince us of something.

If you feel the need to use your terrible mental health as a step-stool in a conversation to make your side more heard than the other, you need to take a step back and re-evaluate yourself. And I am saying this as someone who ALSO has shit mental health and has been in the trenches with it before. I get it. I understand. But also STOP.

It's tempting to want to save your own ass over recognizing where you've gone wrong, but just a word of advise: recognizing where you've gone wrong WILL save your ass and give you better mental health and wisdom down the line.

However, emotionally manipulating people absolutely will not.

#suicide mention #tw sui ment #tw suicide #suicide tw #tw sui #tw sui talk #james somerton #k with all that out of the way i do wanna say that this is a response to james' apology #im honestly glad he deleted the vid and also that he's going to genuinely get into a better place #that is GOOD #i mean this genuinely i hope he gets better #but also the fact that he opened the video with an emotional guilt-trip is something i have just been wanting to talk about for a long time #it's manipulation 101 #if you wanna tell your audience you're struggling with mental health that's one thing but not in a fucking apology video #and if you do need to mention it DONT MAKE IT THE VERY FIRST THING YOU SAY #that's such a shitty thing to do #what you need to do is apologize to everyone FIRST and say everything you need to say #and THEN bring that up #but even then i'd disclaim the shit out of it and make sure everyone knows it's not a guilt trip it's just true #but like. at the end of the day dragging your own mental health into an apology is a double-edged sword #tjhat really just depends on the situation #like i said i genuinely hope he gets better #but it's not just him doing this shit. i've seen like 3 cases of this shit in just the past few months #i guess james is just my excuse to finally say something about it

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

The whole discourse about the privacy/secrecy/support thing has been sitting with me for a few days (I mean other than it always does to a certain degree) thanks to all the excellent discussion happening and I know I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said a million times before, but I think what we're seeing and what we're going to learn (e.g. from TTPD) is that it wasn't just the support issue, but how it was shown/handled.

We've all gone out of our way to show that introversion =/= lack of support. Someone can be shy, reserved, etc. and still show up for their partner, whether in public or at home. To chalk any of the differences up to the clash between introversion and extroversion is unfair to folks who count themselves among either tbh.

@thisisctrying said something the other day that hit the nail on the head about how if that support had been offered in private, there very well may not have been a Joever to begin with, or at least not at this point in time. (Sorry for loosely paraphrasing, and for namedropping you! Long time listener, first time poster.)

If this were a case where the "shy" partner said, "I am really uncomfortable with the spotlight personally and do not want to court it, but I will support you in your ambitions and offer you whatever you need to make them happen and make the glare bearable," I suspect that would have gone a long way to making Taylor feel seen and comfortable in pursuing her goals in the way that she now has. Again, that might have been more akin to the balance that seemed to have been struck around 2019 from what we can see, but even speaking in a general sense, there are lots of couples out there, celebrity or not, that have similar approaches where there are highly driven people and busy careers involved.

(A famous example being Dolly Parton's marriage. Tbh I know next to nothing about her and Carl, but she's always heralded as an example in this regard, because her husband is famously uncomfortable with the spotlight and hasn't accompanied her to public events in decades, but she's said that she never minded that because that was always work to her, and what was important was that he supported her in pursuing all her career goals and basically ensured she had a place to call home to return to at the end of the day.)

We're kind of in a brave new world with her current relationship because it felt like, at least at the start, we were maybe watching her figure out her boundaries in real time as to what she was comfortable with or not and adjust accordingly. Like so many have said, I fully believe the extreme privacy thing was initially driven by herself and her experiences in 2016, and she needed that quiet time to recover from all of the things and figure out how to exist in the world again.

Stating the obvious, it seemed like eventually privacy was equated with secrecy, turning the relationship and the celebrity into the elephant in the room and something to never be spoken of to the outside world. People are free to choose whatever works best for themselves and their relationships, and for some the separate public lives might work, but the “kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath” theme is all over her work and it’s clear that it’s a sore spot for her, because she’s been made to feel shame just for the life she leads so many times in the past.

What I’m trying to say is that it’s pretty obvious something Not Great was happening behind the scenes, which didn’t just amount to “she wanted to be a public celebrity and he wanted to be a private hermit.” (Also, in case anyone forgot, this is a person who also chose a public-facing career who also has to engage in press for it, but I digress.) As her career reached new heights post-folklore, if she had the support at home to do all the things without judgment and with encouragement, and in turn offer the same support to her partner, she may have very well lived just fine with that, not unlike Dolly Parton’s case.

By reading between the lines in all the press since, as well as comments on tour and general ~vibes~ with TTPD teasers, it seems like one of the issues was that that was likely not the case. There was all the stuff that we saw — the reticence to acknowledge each other in the media (particularly on one side), the lack of public support even at events at which they were both in attendance for their respective jobs, the great lengths they went to not to be photographed together at events they attended yet no problem taking pictures with other friends and coworkers, the jobs that separated them, the withdrawing from the public even for work accomplishments, etc. Which could all be manageable if a couple chooses to do so together and are not inherently a sign of trouble in themselves.

But what we’re seeing now I think is a reflection of the things we weren’t seeing then, and it seems to indicate some very deep hurt. (I know, call me Captain Obvious.) And like so many have been saying, it feels likely that that part of that hurt is rooted in that very lack of private support where a person would expect it from their partner. Obviously as a Taylor fan blog I’m going to be more inclined to understand her side of a story, but tbh, it’s also because… this is sooooooo common, and something I’ve experienced in my friend group. (@taylortruther is right when she says most breakups are the same one way or another lol.)

One partner is resentful of the other’s success, or resentful that the other’s priorities begin to evolve as new experiences unlock new goals, or feels the other’s ambitions are not worthy of pursuit, and coupled with perhaps their own struggles in the same domain, it’s easy to see where that can chip away at the other partner’s morale and faith in the relationship. I know I’m just speculating here, but I also don’t think it’s totally unfounded. (Again, because a) I’m picking up what she’s putting down and b) it happens to sooooooo many women even among us dull normals.)

With all the pointed mentions about how much Taylor feels supported in her current relationship and how she in turn loves to offer the same show of support to not only her partner but other loved ones, how she’s stepped out more in the last year to a whole host of events, how she’s mentioned feeling like she locked herself away for years and she’s just proud of her partner and happy she can show up for him even if the chaos around it is unsettling, it paints a picture of what perhaps was happening before last year.

To feel like you’re all alone in carrying the weight of the relationship (or burden of it), of twisting yourself into knots to accommodate the other person’s boundaries (or insecurities) but not feeling reciprocity for your own has to be so painful. (The idea that it may have been even darker and to have a partner not only be unreceptive to your own needs but even perhaps resentful/dismissive/belittling of them is even more painful to think of. I guess we’ll find out when TTPD comes out if that was the case, too.)

At a certain point, that lack of acknowledgement will force your hand to be able to reclaim yourself. And it feels like the further removed Taylor in particular is from it, the more she moves from being sad about the life she felt she gave up by leaving, to angry at the life she felt she was giving up by staying. Especially being in a relationship now where it seems like everything comes much easier, where she can be open about the person she’s with and show up for them, all the stuff that seemed as challenging as climbing Mount Everest in her past is nothing more than a molehill at best in her current life.

TL;DR: I don’t think it’s privacy that inherently spells doom for a celebrity relationship like this; it’s the mutual support and respect that does. If Taylor had felt that in the later years of her previous relationship, I think we could be seeing a different, though not necessarily unfulfilled, person right now in 2024, who’d be happy on tour but whose personal life would look a little different. But it seems like by losing that support she lost parts of herself, and we’ve seen her reclaim that in spades in the last year, and perhaps to degrees she didn’t even realize she could from before all the Bad Stuff started happening in her young adulthood.

I know this was extremely long-winded and unnecessary, especially about total strangers we only know through scraps fed through the media, but I just always bristle at this idea that issues like these boil down to “personality differences,” as though one person wants to live in a city and the other on a remote island, or some shit like that. The whole support (and gender tbh) issue is one that’s just very close to my heart because again, I have seen it play out with so many of my friends in long term relationships and marriages and I just think people in relationships (and women in particular in some circles) deserve better than to feel like they’re being, well, tolerated.

#thisisctrying and taylortruther sorry for tagging you two! #can remove if needed! #but you guys made me think a lot #this was inspired by a conversation i had with a friend the other day #where she relayed an argument she had with her partner #who basically felt slighted that he wasn’t getting acknowledgement for all the housework he does — which is. just. the dishes #and she was like ‘wow congrats you’ve done the dishes — i do every other fucking thing to keep this household afloat in ways you see #and don’t see and i never ask for praise because it’s just stuff that needs to get done because that’s how you support your family’ #and it just reminded me that some partners (and a certain kind of man in particular) just… think their struggles take precedence #when their partners drown in them everyday but keep things afloat out of necessity and are never recognized or supported for it #(my friends have shitty husbands/boyfriends can you tell lol) #long post #again the way i just feel like i know the vibes of ttpd in my bones are 😵‍💫 #i feel like i have a lot more thoughts but I’m trying to be more gracious and less parasocial so #also just want to again defend the introverts of the world by reiterating that being introverted does not mean unsupportive #being a shitty partner does though! #writing letters addressed to the fire #it’s also just like… i feel like if Taylor had had even a modicum of the support in private and even public she needed #she’d probably still be with you know who and wouldn’t have considered leaving let alone doing it #because it would have felt like enough and like it was what was needed for both of them #whereas we’re seeing a completely new side of her open up now because this is the first time she’s ever had that support from a partner #in her adult life at least #and it’s like it’s opening up things she didn’t know she needed or wanted

[magnolia-sunrise]

the halloween special, i mean, Medieval AU continues>> the arrival of the grievously wounded Kingsguard disrupts Bastien's very isolated, very drunk rural village life - but in much different way than he expected. somehow, miraculously, Wolfgang slowly recovers, and the two of them spend many evenings sharing wine and stories by the fireside, finding each other to be pleasant company.

but how long will the vampire be able to resist the call of the priest's blood >:3

#oc art #original characters #art #sketch #medieval au #wolfgang #bastien #wolfien #comics #god this turned into such a meme fsifjs please i hope you enjoy #i had way too much fun sketching these #next time we will find out what happened in Week 3 #to give you more context about bastiens little life he had plans of rising through the ranks and becoming a respected and rich bishop #instead he ends up assigned to a fuck off village in the south where the people dont really like him and he doesnt really like them #he spends his days tending to the few animals he keeps and tending to his shitty wine #when a knight comes knocking on his door hes like fuck. its the cops and they finally realized we havent been paying taxes #luckily for him this particular knight is in worse trouble than his whole village #i never know how much people want to know so i try to write succint posts but i have Lore for each of these interactions. feel free to ask

[chimerahyperfix]

RECIPE OF THE DAY

[OR: This was the most upsetting alternate looper option]

Long post because i have been cooking this in my brain for like, two months, and it's all-consuming. Also I'm not in the Discord yet because Anxiety so my ramblings had to go somewhere, and what better than one big fucking post yknow. I cast spell of fuck you mind blast on the tag/lh /j

TLDR for below: Siffrin words his wish differently, Bonnie gets trapped in a time-loop, and despite saying they're in a timeloop repeatedly nothing works and no one can help them. The normal ISAT absolute horrors ensue.

CONTENT WARNINGS: the normal ISAT tags [death, violence and trauma, suicide, self harm and unreality], Notable Pin on child endangerment and death, poisoning.

most of these get discussed ^ even if shortly

SO. THIS AU.

This is it this is my big one. Ignore me pushing the literal 12 other isat aus I have into a pile pls this is THE big one. I’m looking at the note I’ve stored all this lore in on my notes app,and it’s like. 35 fucking pages?

I've looked at a ton of alternate looper aus [that's part of the hyperfixation babeyyyy I need to consume ALL content forever and ever and ever] and I was like “oohhhh I wanna do that!!” So I literally just listened to music until I caught an idea and yikes. Looking at the AUs playlist now [it’s about 100 songs! Oops!] and I’m like [cartoony image of me laying face first on the floor]

This is a bit scattered because I wrote it over 3 days instead of working on the fic I’m supposed to be writing ooopsieeeee. Ramblings belowvvvvvvvvvv

It begins as simply as the game does. No one knows how to wish properly; so Siffrin wishes, because they know how to. The same folded leaf, repeated three times wish. Close to what is said in canon; different enough for the Universe to read it differently. No longer does Siffrin loop, because the wish isn’t about him, it’s about Bonnie and their sister. Siffrin’s wish is construed as “I wish Bonnie’s wish would come true,” and even if the Universe can’t hold onto Bonnie’s wish as they did it wrong, it CAN hold onto Siffrin’s.

And that’s the base point: EVERY LOOP, Siffrin wishes, because he wishes after he talks to them and that's where they loop back to, and its wish craft goes to Bonnie. A recipe for disaster with how much time they have!

They loop back when Siffrin gets crushed by the rock, because they can’t win while being down a party member. When they touch a tear, or when the sadnesses get the jump on the party and they all go down, or when they use the dagger equivalent [a poisoned snack], or when they get to the King. They Never Beat The King. Think SASASAaP but ISAT.

Bonnie doesn’t fight with craft, but rather craft-infused weapons. The wok and their pan for rock, a pair of kitchen shears for scissors and a cookbook for paper. Snacks for healing and buffs. And they have a cool friend that lives in the favor tree! [they get in fistfights like every five loops. Maybe it would be funny, someone just as willing to spar with them instead of trying to find the right words they can’t find because they’re a kid, if their friend wasn’t ALSO another version of themself, which bonnie clocks pretty late.] They pick up little quirks from their friends, like biting their nails like Belle, and puffing up to look bigger like Isa and stealing Dile's curses and closing an eye to match Frin's in focus. And maybe they start forgetting a little bit, just a little! The same thing over and over will get to you.

So everything essentially boils down to this. Bonnie specifically needs to be strong enough to beat the King, as the rest of the party doesn’t keep experience through loops. For a good chunk of the loops, they take advantage of Siffrin asking them if they need help and drag him into a training lesson that slowly goes from a whole emotional conversation to them quietly listening to Siffrin’s every word. [Siffrin fills this silence with random star facts that pop into their mind. This Is Important It WILL Be On The Test] Eventually the training becomes too tedious, so they start sneaking off to go fight sadnesses— and eventually just punch trees, which busts their knuckles— to get stronger faster! Everything goes downhill from there, with them forgetting to make food to them sneaking out at night to fight more to them getting reckless and uncaring; it snowballs down into “oh this could be considered suicidal confidence”.

Every loop, you say "hey, I'm trapped in a time loop", and EVERY time it is a big emotional thing that exhausts you to the point of going to bed immediately after, and everyone gets antsy and worried, and in the end the anxiety and trouble NEVER ends up mattering because the King still flattens the party every time. [And (shuffling through the sea of my notes for the au), imagine this from their situation for a second; Today, you tell your friends you are trapped in a time loop. They drag you into a long, uncomfortable conversation that makes you cry, and you go to bed with a full stomach and the knowledge they will protect you, and you will protect them. You make sure he doesn't get squashed by a boulder, you make sure they find the key, you make sure they don't die. Tomorrow, you will tell your friends you are trapped in a time loop. They will drag you into a long, uncomfortable conversation that will make you cry, and you will go to bed with a full stomach and the knowledge they've failed to protect you, but they're trying this loop, and you'll still protect them anyway.]

And then the King fight. He grabs them and he kills them and it fucks them up. [it fucks them up, until it too happens again and again, and eventually it simply is just another obstacle you must pass, because the second his stupid hand wraps around you like a ragdoll it’s over, so you just spit in his face to make him press the trigger immediately and not drag it out for forever- imagine the most traumatic event in your entire life, repeated over and over, until it looses all meaning. It’s still traumatic, it’s sewn into your brain forever you will never forget this.]

They tell the party ‘hey, I just got murdered’, and if this au was ISAT, it would go from having a memory that gave everyone a defense buff to a memory that literally stops you from winning, randomly attaching to a party member. You couldn’t get rid of it. They’d take every hit for you, and you’d have to loop back, because you couldn’t win with an unremovable memory like that. and that’s why they stop saying things, because if the people you loved would die to protect you, something you don’t want and have the ability to stop, would you stop them?

And so everything collapses, and from that point [the start of act 4] it collapses fast.

WHICH LEADS US TO ENDLESS MY FAVORITE LITTLE THANG

if this is transparent or not I don’t fucking know and honestly. After 2 hours of fighting ibisPaint X to make it transparent I stopped caring. o7

Slight design notes tangent: the fucking. Wispy things around their limbs just kinda move around them- yknow because black holes pull things in and they are one. Their like,,,, face spike design??? Question mark on what 2 call it? It’s designed to look like their hair lol. The little star-dot things on their knuckles are important smile. Eventually I’ll post a full thing 4 them (I have like 2 pages of random doodles of them it’s craaazy)

Endless (or Ness, later on) is Bonnie’s loop-alike. They’re a little angry hater and I based them on the song Black Hole Sun [therefore they double-dip in the space theming, the little scoundrel! Imagine being both a black hole and a partial eclipse!! Damn why you taking all the space theming for!!] which was the song the whole AU was based on! Woah! Damn you carrying ALL the out of AU lore in you! They’re anger over fear while Bonnie is fear over anger.

They make me SO fucking upset. Like. I’m not being funny anymore. This is THE most upsetting character I’ve ever written. They make me cry. My entire schtik is making horror and this little creature is the most upset I've ever been at a creation of mine.

Endless is a Bonnie who, without exaggerating, literally imploded from having too much wish craft in them— hence the black hole theme. They went through an unreasonable amount of loops [i think I noted down 400??? Probably not that many, but hey, leveling is slow when half the time you rely on a scripted event that has like 3 enemies. Never really pinned anything down, but it’s a CRAZY upsetting amount.] and just couldn’t win,, and they eventually broke, and begged for it to stop— and, well, with so much wish craft in them, even without the proper rituals the Universe just couldn’t ignore ALL this wish craft, overflowing, in one spot. They asked for help and it killed them.

And then they were at the tree! And they’re helping a DIFFERENT Bonnie, who they’re upset at because what. What why is this happening? They asked for it to stop, not for a whole NEW Bonnie to exist and to do it all over again, what is this what, stop stop it. And they have to keep watching Siffrin wish, and doom them to their endless loop, and they have to tell Bonnie no, the party can’t help them like they want the party to do because the party never could help them, and it’s just going to bring them distress and heartache. Bonnie does it anyways, until the very beginning of act 4: it goes downhill from there, until they’re worried This Bonnie will end up like THEM.

They’re not the most self-confident type. They give themself the most un-nicknameable name [Bonnie still finds one that fits— Ness. They reluctantly accept it.] [Endless vc: Ness? Like? From Earthbound???] they can think of because nicknames are a love language and they speak it, and they don't think they deserve it anymore because they've Changed, and trade out the nicknames they have for the party for things they learned from Siffrin in their own many many training loops: The Sun, The Moon, The Star, The Sky, and Bonnie is Supernova, because its cool as hell and Siffrin told them that’s what happens when a star dies, and they died. Open foreshadowing. They take to closing the same eye they made Siffrin the Star loose, because if he doesn’t get to see anymore neither should they— even if that eventually becomes a natural thing, something they do now to focus. They talk about a sister they have— had, because their world is gone and she never got unfrozen, they never learned if she was alive under all that icy craft or not, and they’re not Bonnie anymore. Ness is Bonnie, but Bonnie is not Ness.

And so, when act 5 hits, they’re desperate. They can’t see it happen again, because it erased them as a person and it was terrifying enough why would you want to see it happen again? they prepare to storm the house, bevause theyre strong enough to tear it apart themself, get stopped by the party, and essentially they’ve replaced Bonnie for a loop; which would be okay, if failing didn’t mean there would probably be Two Endlesses and No Bonnie’s. By the end of the au, Bonnie, lvl 99, is like bringing a brick to a stare down. Endless, in comparison, is like bringing a bazooka to a fistfight. They can’t face the King, they can’t, it would probably mess something up [the party has them pinned as being a kid by this point— wether they realise Ness acts a lot like Bonnie or not, who knows] so they panic and wave the party off into the King’s room and fights off the remaining sadnesses to calm down.

And the Party brings Bonnie down, and they fight a fake version of their sister [who they win against, even if barely, because Nille is their sister and damnit, Nille would never hurt them, not after giving up her life for them] and they have a breakdown, and then there's two of them. There's Bonnie and there's Ness. Bonnie confronts them and they get in ANOTHER fistfight, bveause how else would two angry ultra-powerful preteens settle things, and Bonnie convinces them to come along, because their identity has been found out and damnit Nille really won't care, Ness is her sibling too.

[Nille approaches the situation carefully, but Bonnie is right: Nille sees the two of them and immediately decides she has two siblings and she wants to protect them. Both of them went through so, so much, and they saved the country and damnit it would be monstrous to throw Ness out to the wolves because they Changed. Aka I was physically incapable of letting Ness dissapear or have a bad ending they deserve the world too.]

I just I jsutt. Auguhghghghhh. au too big in my brain spill it out on the floor it goes everywhere. When you hyperfix on your own au

#isat #in stars and time #isat au #isat bonnie #<- this is abt them. uh oh. #recipe of the day #anyways the au title is based on a shitty joke I made once #also “”’hey chef what’s for dinner? slop! slime!’ #something something the recipe of the day is timeloop soup. yknow. a timeloop au. and soup……. #who let me in the kitchen. someone take me out before I burn the place down #I have. so many thoughts about this au #most of which boil down to me screaming and crying #I know there are multiple other AUs where Bonnie loops but counterpoint #has an alt looper au ever not had the looper wish? #[pushing divine intervention behind me. no that does not exist in this question] #I really like twisting au tropes on their heads :) #‘I don’t want to tread on other ppls ideas’ handshake ‘three month au hyperfix lets fucking go let’s yap’ #they can and will coexist heart emoji. #I think about this au a lot. I’m cooking so much art #(yknow. aside from being the worlds slowest artist. oop) #I’ll prob post abt it every now and then (aka when I finish the fucking art) #but for now. laying my au cards down #endless is my favorite little being ever rn they’re such a little hater

[bizarrelittlemew]

.

#lost a bunch of text of a wip due to idk onedrive syncing error?? 😭😭😭 #it's been so hard for me to write lately and it took SO long to tie those parts together and now it's just... gone #i'm just sitting here looking at it wanting to cry and give up on the whole thing because i CANNOT remember what the fuck i wrote #just a shitty way to end the day #delete later

[lepusrufus]

Nothing compares to the feeling when things click in place and the planets align and you finally figure out how to properly use a character so you get to see them absolutely wreck enemies like a proud parent

#me not knowing how to play non casters was the funniest thing #for nearly 2 runs I kept looking at Astarion like uh yeah just cast missile or whatever idk what to do with you in combat #and on my THIRD I finally thought hey let's give this whole sneaking around thing a try eh? #OH #OKAY MY LITTLE ROGUEBOI SLAY I GUESS #me popping in chat with my friends one day like #oh wait you mean I'm supposed to use Rage with Karlach?? #you're telling me it does something other than making her scream and light up with a cool animal shape?? #outrageous #why is minthara not hitting #why is LAE'ZEL not hitting #what do you mean I fucked thdm over by picking shitty feats for them #Idek what Minsc's deal is he's just around to be my emotional support uncle #bg3

[crownedwille]

I've come to the conclusion that loving young royals doesn't mean I can't be critical about it, maybe especially bc I love the show so much I have such strong feelings about it, good and bad and I can love parts of canon and agree with it and appreciate it but I don't have to love it all. I have accepted that it's okay if I don't accept the ending and I don't have to force myself to support it. It's okay to not agree with all of canon and it's okay to not side with all of the creators' intentions/views. Loving a show doesn't mean you have to take everything the writers say on face value and that's the only version that is allowed to exist. Canon isn't everything and fandom is about curating your own experience that makes you happy and not miserable. You don't have to dismiss canon in every aspect and ignore it entirely, that's certainly not what I want but there is a fine line between being canon respectful, allowing some parts to exist and sometimes, yes, you just have to say "fuck canon" and move on for your own sanity and wellbeing

#especically in the first two weeks of a new release everyone is feelings lots of intense emotions ranging from ecstatic to angry #everything in between is a part of it and i know i'm also feeling very strongly about it right now #i always try to stay levelheaded and rational and see things from an objective pov and be diplomatic about discourse #i don't want any of what i say drift off too much into meaningless hate instead of the constructive criticism it's supposed to be #but when you feel so strongly about something and sometimes you really just wanna say yeah i fucking hate it lol #but i always try to explain why and give understandable arguments and not just blindly hate on something #for example - I'm aware there are fans who have some problems with s2 and don't love the season whereas i do and it's my fave #and there is a difference between expressing some criticism and justified concerns which you can understand where it comes from #and those who are just like 'oh it's a horrible season. it was so shitty and we should get rid of it' which is dumb hate and just not true #and i can't support people like that and take them seriously #i can have my own issues with s3 from a subjective pov which can also include some justified criticism as well #but also still acknowledge it as a truly good piece of tv media and the quality is top notch #and that's why you have such high expectations and have critique because it is so good and sets such a high standard #yrtalk #with that being said i understand ppl not wanting to see any critic about it if they are riding the high of happy wilmon endgame #but that doesn't mean that i can't express my own opinions on my own blog and i will continue to do so #and maybe one day i will feel differently and accept or even like the ending who knows #but it doesn't have to happen. it's fine if it does but it's also fine if it doesn't

[oatbugs]

pls i need to provide updates

#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year #and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire #and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f #friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl #acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what #are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and #friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me! #LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after #everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to #invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me #i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother #and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids #so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo #any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷‍♀️ #but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd #and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk #THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date #w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a #few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay #scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK #like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl #like is that even doable #but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much #.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us #god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x #but it would be soooo funny #I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed #popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x #i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like #its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe

[puhpandas]

Tony Becker is one of the only times that I've seen that a character has actually been doomed by the plot when people say he is

#i probably just am not interested in enough other things to see it more often #but he genuinely fucking is #like how does it feel to dig yourself in a hole you cant come back from as a result of your own actions #and your life going downhill and everything that could go wrong going wrong #and you isolate yourself more and more from your friends and family without even realizing and are so sure of uourse #that you run into everything headfirst not ever thinking that you could ever get hurt even though your dad warned you #and you died from your best friend because of ir #that you were considering ditching everyone else for #like dude. #ggy genuinely is such a good book tony as a character is so well written #its such a tragic story in every sense of the word #every part of that book and all its characters are tragic #tony especially is because gregory beinf mind controlled is off screen #but tony is just. wow ur kinda a shitty person but wholly unaware of it #but the people on your life kinda failed you alongside you failing yourself #so he never even got the time of day to be wrong and aware of it and learn from it #nobody ever cared or was able to tell him that so he could start improving #nope. he died and his family and his best friend have to live with that not ever knowing what happened to him #and ellis' two best friends probably go missing at the same time and he just has to move on #like damn its such a good story #pandas.txt #tony #ggy #thoughts

[resetmypatientviolence]

Nobody:

Vessel when writing TMBTE:

#sleep token #sleep token worship #vessel #vessel fuck me up #take me back to eden #sleep token tmbte #TMBTE #I listen to at least one song a day #if not more #I’m fucking feral #for it all #I can’t pick a fave because it changes by the hour #like what the fuck did he do to make this such a sirens call to me?? #same chelsea different interests same shitty jokes

[introspectivememories]

i've been reading a lotta todofam fics recently and i think you guys give fuyumi too much shit for wanting a happy family. she's not delusional or blind or anything like that. she's just an abused girl who wants some semblance of a normal family. which is fine!!!! not once in canon does she ever tell natsu or shou that their feelings aren't valid or that they need to forgive enji. all she ever says is, hey. he says he's changing. can you please be civil with him natsu? also, from what i understand about canon, it's not like enji was beating the shit out of his children the minute they came out of the womb??? he was okay-ish those first few years and it's more than likely that fuyumi remembers that enji!!! natsu probably doesn't have any memories of that enji. of course, she wants a happy family. she remembers when enji was okay-ish!!! like do you think she doesn't know about the abuse????? she's the only sibling who still lives in that house!!!! she was there for all of shouto's abuse!!!! all this to say, if you even look at my girl wrong, i will stomp you to death with my hooves.

#don't you ever speak ill of my eldest daughter in a shitty household character again #who was the one that bandaged shouto? fuyumi #who was the one making sure shouto ate? fuyumi #who stayed in that fucking house even though she could've left at any time???? FUYUMI!!!! #and to this day she is still soothing everyone's hurts and looking after everyone and does she ever get a thank you???? not once! #say what you want about the endeavor redemption arc but i think it gave us really interesting responses to abuse #fuyumi is willing to move on if enji never does it again #natsuo will punt enji into the sun if endeavor so much a breathes in his direction #and shouto is still thinking about it #(dabi as we all know will murder his father if given the chance) #oh fuyumi you are so “surface pressure” coded #bnha #todofam #todoroki fuyumi #todoroki shouto #todoroki natsuo #todoroki enji #todoroki family