#while the other thinks it's inherent to gender

[paper-mario-wiki]

transfems can be women but you are not, you're an agp

(i actually blocked the original person who sent this and then resent it to myself on anon to keep the presentation fitting since i would like to share my perspective on this anyhow. here's what i would have said to this straw-man argument-haver if they weren't already blocked!)

TL;DR: you're wrong with both of the things you asserted in your statement. 1) i am not an AGP which is because 2) AGP's are exactly as much of a woman as i am.

what meaningful categorization could you put on someone to fit the description of "autogynophile" that precludes them from womanhood without inherently being contradictorily transphobic? "it turns them on to think about being vaginally penetrated" yeah i bet a lot of cishet woman fantasize about that too. "they only changed their identity because they like being a lady so much it helps them get off" okay? and? this is not a categorization which is inherently predatory, so who cares? gender is, irrevocably, an invention. it's a farce. it's nothing, we made it up, that's the whole point of agreeing that people can change it if they say they want to.

drawing a social line by the physical distinctions of "do they have penis or the other one" is as arbitrary as separating people by right handedness and left handedness or the eye color they were born with. the social expectations, behaviors, and woes are a consequence of the fact that everyone has been taught "this is just how it is, and it makes you different in every way, and this is how it's always been, and this is how it'll always be", same as the way people keep using fiat currencies (the US dollar for example), despite them being backed up by no singular tangible thing in any way that matters, aside from the word of the person who controls it.

and sometimes going along with that stuff is fine! i mean not the money, but the other one. the gender one. i like to be called a woman, while also knowing that "woman" is an invention. "pretty" is also an invention, and i love to be called that. "sonic the hedgehog" is an invention that people talk about using the same verbiage they use when describing real, tangible, breathing creatures, despite the fact that sonic the hedgehog exists conceptually and not physically (not including physical representations, which are not the same thing).

i think agp's are also women. if i could read someone's mind and they said "hi im a woman" but i knew they were thinking "im actually a man" i would still say "hello woman" because they might as well have given me their name for all the difference it makes in how we interact moving forward. if someone has no intention or probability to harm themselves or anyone else, i couldn't care less.

all that being said, you're wrong with both of the things you asserted in your statement. 1) i am not an AGP because 2) AGP are exactly as much of a woman as i am. it is a meaningless category coined by bigots and only given credibility by people with bigoted views.

#anon #transphobia

[toytulini]

terfs go climb into a hole and start rotting. animals cannot inherently tell your "biological sex" you are all so fucking stupid. All this post is saying is that animals are not infallible judges of character and some of them make really stupid vibe checks and that people should try not to take it personally. Unless youre a terf in which case they know and they hate you and you should take it personally

re that one post tbh i do want to stress i dont think animals are like magically psychic at knowing your True Gender tbh i think ppl definitely get way too weird about Animal's judgement of ppl.

Sometimes a dog will vibe check a man and the dog will be right and you should listen. but sometimes the dog will vibe check someone for no good reason. sometimes dogs have wack judgement. sometimes dogs have biases influenced by their owners or previous owners. like. there are Racist Dogs. its not the dogs fault, but that doesnt make the bias theyve developed less real, or less potentially hurtful. i dont think we need to like, Cancel Dogs Bc Sometimes Ppl Can Train Them To Be Racist, but we do need to stop perpetuating the idea that a dog's judgement of someone is infallible. theyre not responsible for it and its not their fault its developed, theyre just dogs, they didnt choose it, but that doesnt mean theyre RIGHT lmao. i think its important to stress this for many reasons but in regard to that last post specifically, if youve ever been vibe checked as a gender you arent by a judgy dog its literally not your fault. might not even be the owners fault. not the dogs fault cos like. its a fucking dog. you do kinda have to be the bigger person in that scenario cos the other person is. A Dog.

#toy txt post #this was meant to be a quick post it got a bit longer and more in depth than i planned oops #i just hate when ppl act like All Dogs have Inherently Correct Judgement Of People #like from every angle. its funny to joke about but i know theres ppl out there who might be feeling like #very fragile in their gender or smth and seeing a post like that if they meet a dog that normally hates men but not women but it doesnt #recognize your inherent true gender im sure seeing shit like that post can be a horr #got interrupted by a phone call while typing it and the post is glitching so i cant see where that tag is cut off so uh #dogs are like ppl in that they can develop biases and have bad judgement and they dont always get it right #they are not like ppl in that it is not possible to ask a dog to examine its biases. you cannot make a dog take a class on #critical race theory. you have to work to socialize and desensitize them against those biases or at least make sure those biases theyve #developed dont negatively impact ppl. in this sense i guess im morally obligated to try to learn more spanish to see if it helps my dog #chill. shes nervous around all new ppl but parents have anecdotally noted she extra dislikes men speaking in spanish. she was a stray so we #dont really know her history. she also does Not like fire pokers outside. weirdly even tho its basically the same tool she is unfazed by #the indoor poker for the woodstove? but ig she wouldve had less exposure to indoor woodstoves as a stray in Louisiana? #but i can see like ppl having a little backyard barbecue and threatening the big mastiff looking stray dog with a fire poker and i think #that region of the country prolly has a higher number of spanish speaking ppl than our current residence so the odds of her running into a #spanish speaking guy who isnt very nice are prolly higher just due to a denser population as a whole. and we think shes part mastiff which #i think is a breed already prone to disliking strangers that probably cooked up into a little cocktail in her brain #luckily shes bad enough with All Strangers that i think honestly it would be hard to even notice her bias? but. ig i need to see if i can #desensitize her? idk. sighs but im scared to open duolingo now 😭. but i could maybe do it. when other ppl wear hats she fucking hates it #i wear a fucking face covering mask that looks like a giant eyeball she looks at me a little quizzically but is fine. jester hat? fine #i am like that video of the person desensitizing that horse except thats just like. living w me. minus the cat thing. id never do that to #the cats or dog. everyone would hate that. squirrel already cant tolerate being held while a dog is out cos he THINKS im going to do that. #it would traumatize the dog cos he'd injure me escaping and then prolly her trying to scare her off to get past her and shes just minding #her business. solo i cant hold that long but is less likely to injure anyone. shadow. first of all all 3 are way too heavy to be holding #like that #im getting lost in the tags again sorry im chewing caffeinated gum. i should go try to buy some catnip #ive made my Phone Calls. im gonna try to go get dressed and buy various catnip products. maybe lure him with a toy this time. need my #parents to help me but not be so visibly Ready to help me next time cos i do not want to chase his ass again...

[assmaster-8000]

why don't clothes fit me the way they do on a skinny cis guy (<- isn't a skinny cis guy)

#being trans masc is so frustrating because i forget i got the level 1000 gyatt #go forth and find a beautiful trans woman bodily curves of mine #i have so many cool pants that would give away im kweer if i wore them not because they're from alt fashion subcultures #but because my ass and thighs and hips are too femme apparently?!?!? #when will people stop associating allat with women or something #my cis male friends have the biggest fucking asses for some reason AND THEY KEEP ON TWERKING INFRONT OF ME WHEN IM MINDING MY BUSINESS #no but *im* the female and a girl apparently #i wanna go out in tight fitting clothes until i realise i actually have a female body like whatttt #ain't that crazy #im not saying those bodily attributes are inherently femme or indicators of being a girl or a female cause just. no #im just saying that many people think that way #and it's hard trying to be perceived as masc while trying to dress the way i want to #'why do you care about how others perceive you?' because being perceived as a girl makes me feel bad like what #its different from your personality being perceived differently #im aware my gender is something i define but i can also want others to perceive me as a guy too #i cant change the minds of everybody but in the end i still am a masc identifying person and i want people to easily identify me as one #transphobes and people who blatantly refuse to perceive me as one is something else entirely #and if adhering to the binary gender norms is how i can be validated in my gender then so be it #because gender is a social construct and mine is affirmed and solidified through social interaction #other trans people wont do what i do. others do. that's fine. gnc trans people are fucking sick /pos #but unfortunately i do not have it in me to NOT care about how others perceive my gender #because it matters a lot to me and being perceived as a girl hurts

[unforth]

I stumbled upon the post of you talking about how you're trying to raise a son that won't hate himself for being male. From a young man to the mother of a young man, thank you. Honestly thank you so much. That will mean so so much for your kiddo, both now and for the rest of his life. I hope your mother's day is a joyous one :)

oh anon, many many hugs. and thank you. I hope you don't hate yourself either, you seem like a really kind and caring person. <3

#unforth replies #seriously guys stop saying horrible things about men #the harm it causes it incalculable #my grandmother hated men and while she died before i was born #i've seen the lifetime of baggage and harm her attitudes left my mother and uncle with #especially my uncle #you can't say i hate men but oh no not you you're different #hate the patriarchy and the systems and toxic masculinity #hate the societal norms that lead men into emotional black holes from where they then harm others #but don't hate men this isn't inherent to being male #it's inherent in our broken system that's told an entire gender they're not allowed to cry and shit #ugh i hate it here men are great okay #tbh i can't think of anything more anti-feminist than blanket hating men #i'm just rambling at this point but y'all get the idea #also to be clear my definition of men is anyone who ids as male and therefore takes collatoral damage #when they hear someone say men are the worst or whatever #this has nothing to do with genitalia and everything to do with people who are men #stop hurting men 2k5eva

[mallahanmoxie]

some lil gender thoughts under the cut prompted by those guys' transitions

back when i first started questioning my gender, i had a lot difficulty (and still do) defining how i felt towards womanhood because i knew no matter what i did i would always be perceived as a woman (and a bad one at that - gender is very hard to navigate when you're fat because you're never doing things right by default) due to the body type and face i have. nowadays i've made my peace with that and it has allowed me to regain some contact with femininity that i wouldn't have allowed myself to touch back when it was very much a war between me and womanhood and the ways in which i would never be good at it (some of it has to do with the fact that now that i've rejected it entirely, it is something of a show — i have a very complicated relationship with womanhood still, but it is mostly positive). but defining how i felt about masculinity was much easier because i was always very set on the type of man i would like to be which was, essentially, kang chul from w two worlds. there was no other man id rather be. and if I could've been kang chul (if i could now!) i would have transitioned in a heartbeat fuck everything else. but i was never going to be kang chul, even if i tried. I contemplated long and hard the type of man i would be if i transitioned (a process which was very culturally influenced because id have to be a guy here and not anywhere else, so i had to compare myself to the stock of guys i had here bc that's the manhood that would be most reasonably sustainable) and eventually decided i had more to lose than to gain, both financially and socially if i transitioned, so i decided against it. i could play at being a woman, but playing at being a man would be too dangerous (i am too soft, for men here, which must mean it is hell for soft men around, and you know, stay with the devil you know etc etc)

at the end of the day i am neither man nor woman because my idea (as well as my ideal) of (my personal, individual) personhood is ultimately irreconcilable with binary gender. it simply does not match. i cannot be both myself and a woman, or both myself and a man. i can play at either with varying modicums of success and comfortability but at the end of the day, sitting on my couch, i am myself and that person, in its aloneness, end and begins with itself.

#i have gendered roles i identify with - sister and granddaughter most specifically #i was going to say niece but i dont think my gender is so great a factor in regards to my uncles and aunts #but those are like. linked to my personhood but not inherent to it? #like i will always be my sister's sister. i could never be my sister's brother. but that's our RELATIONSHIP not ME as a person #anyway the other day i got misgendered by that person it took me a while to recognise that i was angry at being misgendered #bc that is never a problem i have encountered in the wild #since i go out on the assumption ppl will see me and say ah woman and i behave accordingly #and if i ever get accidentally misgendered (like in verbs) its always a nice little thrill #but this time the vitriol was such that it FELT like i was being misgendered on purpose even tho i know they didnt mean it like that #so that wasn't fun but it took me a while to discern exactly in which ways it wasn't so #psa newsmen still at large

[unproduciblesmackdown]

the way that randos seem to have learned a tiny bit more about autistic people and are using this newfound power to give their ableism more range, like [inspiring: this gender-respecting bully will only give victims swirlies in bathroom that aligns with their identity] and [guy who researches your identity so that his microaggressions are more accurate] like oh radical that now you're throwing around the word "autistic" more comfortably as meaning shit like someone's "clueless" or "has an interest or perhaps talent" or what nonsense will follow when someone's breaking out the term "social skills" like oh nice, people accessing all the abilities of Autism Parents without having to be a parent

#nothing inherently brand new and just kind of a side effect of ppl learning Anything more abt autistic ppl like being Real & Out Here #which doesn't make that exposure Bad; b/c of course [exposure; proximity] or even Learning Anything At All doesn't make ppl like #have to do anything but just fit that into their preexisting framework; i.e. ableism #just like the examples of ''oh don't worry you can recognize trans identities while Keeping The Bullying'' #keep the ableist perspective and just update your idea of what autistic ppl are like At All #also it's ofc just like. wild lol like; it keeps being disparaging / Othering #and i'm sure ppl think they're being just neutral or w/e but even if they out & out Mean Well....like good for you personally idc??? what?? #if i was watching some shit and someone was like Would They Be That Autistic [as to do that]? like excuse you....? #like i'm not Baffled like. it's just ppl keeping the depths of ableism & adding some surface level knowledge that autistic ppl are real #and just adding ''autistic'' to their lexicon in a supposedly more technical sense....keeping the spirit of things though; ultimately #and of course the matter of like you don't fix marginalization by making ''exceptions'' to the systems/approaches/perspectives.... #like oh well i'd so heroically exercise restraint about considering people Existing Wrong lesser if i knew they were Autistic(tm) #like you don't need to Know to ''make exceptions'' and you need to change the entire approach/situation already thanks #like ppl being nonbinary & others figuring out ways to just try to tack this onto cisnormativity &; indeed; the gender binary #we didn't need an ''equivalent'' to gendered nouns; why is a blog in 2023 opening some random post w/''ladies & gentlemen & others''.... #someone's tweet the other day abt cis acquaintances being ''considerate'' emailing like ''should we call it a sex reveal party?'' like. #i'm going to need you to realize the fundamental heart of the issues here. incl ableism. and i realize you think that's Too Much.

[obstinaterixatrix]

still reading readymade heroine while in a defensive stance like. this is still surprisingly respectful and down to earth m/f with a gender nonconforming male lead. even the mc’s worries of ‘I don’t even know if he’s into women, he might be gay’ feels more reasonable than tokenizing or done specifically for comedic relief…?

#orlbs #misclb #I dunno it’s like #I don’t think this would ever be confirmed or a part of the manga #but it’s like. the atmosphere of a bi4bi m/f in terms of just being willing to accept certain things at face value #it’s like the only time where it’s like huh this feels like a gay way to worry about things despite being an m/f and without being annoying #y’know the whole ‘I don’t even know if the other person likes my gender’ question #but again because imo it feels like a natural line of questioning (even tho rooted in stereotypes) #it doesn’t have that aggravating self centered straight lens of ‘what if HETEROSEXUALS had to STRUGGLE like THE GAYS’ and it just feels more #normalized? #while still taking place in modern society with its stigmas etc #I don’t know how to describe it like it’s appealing (maybe even safe?) in ways m/f usually isn’t #because gender nonconformity OUTSIDE THE BOUNDS OF WHAT’S ACCEPTED is inherently framed in a sympathetic and positive light #like beyond a guy liking girly things which is still usually pretty good but still ‘safe’ within society #yknow???? #basically this boils down to #even if it does inherently rely on stereotypes #this is the first time I’ve seen ‘he might be gay’ in an m/f in a way that’s 100% not homophobic #yknow???

[heartyearning]

im listening to fern brady’s memoir rn because a) i like her and b) i think she’s hysterical and like. it’s so so so so SO silly to me to say this bc its literally what she’s saying in her book but like listening to other ppl talking abt their autism is literally eye opening like oh hold on i did that too ... like i never read up on autism after getting diagnosed because i am fairly incapable of reading non fiction and i also thought it was boring and i just couldnt be arsed but like you know. ppl do it for a reason

#she's got a different type of autism to mine in many ways but in others its like . oh yeah. yeah i used to do that too #also part of the reason i never read up on autism is because it's very much separated on the basis of gender #like you'll have autistic women going 'this is what its like for girls and girls are never talked about' and like thats so fair and valid #but then on the other hands its like. yeah but i dont fit into the men-talking-abt-autism category either #it's tough because while i absolutely understand the need for female specific experiences to be heard in this field #i still inherently think all people is the same and separating shit on the basis of gender is stupid as hell #bc like its all socialisation in the end. i dont relate more to women's experiences on autism bc i was born w certain hormones #i relate to them because i fucking like. was raised a certain way

[fluidnet]

I was half asleep and thinking about all the stories like She’s The Man and Mulan (1999) where a woman dresses up like a man in order to do something ManlyTM and how they all inevitably fall in love with the masculinity of it all while still being women (or not, I guess, fiction is flexible and gender is more so)

and I went “give me a man who chooses to dress as a woman instead of resorting to violence. Give me a man who, in finding femininity and softness, can find himself. Give me a man who chooses kindness and love over war and aggression, but the only way he can do so is finding solace in the feminine. Not because femininity is inherently softer, but because society has told him as such. Give me a man who, through trial and error, finds himself learning to love the traditional women’s tasks he’s been clumsily attempting. Give me a man who could never truly fit in with other men, and the women around him protect him and love him unconditionally. Give me a man who cannot stand for himself at first, and then rises stronger together with the people who took him in”

And I realized that “give me a man who dresses as a woman in order to avoid going to war” is just. Achilles. And I want that classically animated movie now. I don’t even care if it’s sanitized like the Disney Renaissance Mulan or Hercules, in fact I’d enjoy that. I want Achilles to choose kindness and love and beauty over the war he never wanted to fight. I want a lighthearted, playful version of Achilles where there’s a happy ending. I know it’s a tragedy, but so were a lot of things that got animated at the time (not even Disney, Anastasia and Quest for Camelot come to mind as well) and I think he and Patroclus can have a happily ever after, too

I also want it to be gay, but I think that goes without saying

#patroclus #achilles #greek myth #greek mythology #animation #disney renaissance #late 1990s animation #happy stories #feminine men #she’s the man #mulan #feminine #femininity #masculine #masculinity #give me uwu soft boi that I can blorbo

[qweerhet]

sometimes i will see someone talking about how we need to engage with the patriarchy as a massive system of oppression that's intertwined with the very foundations of daily life, not just like, use feminism as a marketable #GirlBoss statement. and i'll get excited and be like yes! including talking about how the patriarchy punishes and demonizes disprivileged men for being failures of manhood, forbids men from expressing emotion other than anger or lust, creates the material conditions for transmisogyny through the simultaneous demonization of failed men as predators and monsters and dehumanization of women as lesser beings--

and they'll be like oh no actually i was thinking more about how maleness is an inherently predatory and violent state of being and men need to either stop being men or never express an emotion. and we should talk about that. and stop letting men talk over us by expressing male gendered struggles because they are not real struggles and are generally examples of men being predatory by pretending to be weak while speaking over women.

babes. THAT'S THE PATRIARCHY. you are SAYING SOMETHING PATRIARCHAL.

[collaredkittyboy]

Well it's come up multiple times today so I'll make a post about it.

I think the popularization of the word "twink" has ultimately been really bad for people in general.

I know it's hard to track the positive and negative effects of language but I don't think it's hard to see how creating a word for a group of people wherein the most consistent qualifying trait is "being skinny" is healthy for people's self image. Obviously people have lots of ideas about what it means to be a twink- gay, lacking body hair, feminine, beautiful, young, white- but the most consistent descriptor I've seen is "skinny." Hell, it's even a body type on Grindr; the size below "average."

So it kind of functions as a code word in the gay community: anyone can say that they're only interested in twinks and they don't have to look shallow by saying they only like skinny guys. It's such an accepted attitude that no one really bats an eye when they hear it.

I'm not even going to get into how it's become part of the larger issue of people turning "top" and "bottom" into gender roles 2.0, but that is closely related, because people with any internalized homophobia can look at a skinny, feminine man and turn off their fag alarms by viewing him as a woman or not a "real" man, and it makes twinks more acceptable to society at large.

No, ignoring all of that, one of the biggest issues is that gay men are taught by society that they are only attractive while they are skinny. Just having the label "twink" reminds a boy that people are looking at his body and judging it. There were countless times when I was growing up that people would tell me, "You're such a twink," or argue about whether or not I qualified as a twink because I had body hair. People around you, unpromted, judge your body and give you a label based on it, and that label has a large influence on whether or not you're seen as objectively attractive. I know many other gay people who say they wish they were a twink so they could be more attractive to guys.

So think, you have all these kids growing up being told whether or not they qualify as a twink, and then we have the gay community as a whole where it's completely acceptable to say you're only attracted to twinks. I think its because of all of this pressure to be a twink (in other words, to have a below average weight) that many of the gay people that I interact with struggle with a negative body image or eating disorders.

I mean, people talk about "twink death" like it's an actual event that makes a gay man much less attractive, and no one thinks that, maybe, it's harmful to tell a guy that the very day he stops being young and thin and pretty, he will stop being attractive and celebrated?

I'm not qualified to speak on fatphobia in physical queer spaces because I don't have the ability to frequent them where I live, but I can't imagine that these aren't issues at social gatherings as well. I also can't speak on my own experiences with weight discrimination because so far in my life I have had a naturally thin body, but I have experienced a lot of outside pressure to be thin that have caused me to pick up unhealthy eating habits to reduce my weight in fear that I could become fat later on. Thankfully that is something that I've mostly been able to work past. I'm not an expert, but idk, I just wanted to rant on my silly tumblr blog.

Obviously it's impossible for a word to be inherently bad. I'm not trying to imply that saying "twink" is a magic word with evil powers. Obviously the real issues at play here are fatphobia and harmful beauty standards and body shaming. But in my opinion, the popular use of the word twink has made it much easier and acceptable to express fatphobia, etc, in the gay community by turning "skinny person" into a "type of guy that you should try to be so you can be attractive."

#i know i sound annoying and woke but this is my blog and i can post whatever i want :3 #theres so much more to say but this is long enough as it is #no ones gonna read this anyway #gay #queer issues #fatphobia #cw ed mention

[strawbeerossi]

Only Friends

Pairing: Gender Neutral!Reader x Spencer Reid

Description: You and Spencer are best friends who act like anything but.

Content/Warnings: Oblivious mutual pining, kissing, lap sitting, teasing friends, cute little love confession at the end.

Word Count: 1.3K

Anon Request: hiii oki req (if u want pls take ur time) i think this is prob OOC butttttt spence + reader being in love and they don’t even realize it but they still kiss/ cuddle when they hang out and stuff and just say “we’re really close is all” “best friends kiss!” and stuff..

Navigation || Criminal Minds Masterlist || Request

🏷️ @kr-1-sta @iluvreid @nervousmoongiver @multifandom-on-the-side @ferrjulie

Affection in friendships aren’t always the same. Some friends hugged, some friends rarely talked yet maintained a healthy friendship, some friends even showed the smallest bit of intimacy due to their comfortability.

You and Spencer were just a tad different. You two would cuddle, share brief pecks on the lips, as well as sometimes shower together whenever you were in a rush on a case and got a brief break.

It wasn’t anything inherently romantic or sexual, just something that came easy. The team was highly convinced you both had a secret relationship. Which was fair enough, however no matter how many explanations, they never seemed to be enough.

Tonight the team was having a small watch party for a new show at Penelope’s apartment. She’d been so desperate for the team to have something like a show they watched together, or special games to play together. Nobody could really say no.

You had arrived with a handful of snacks just an hour prior, helping one of your favorite coworkers set up her apartment for the night ahead. As expected, it turned from you helping to the bubbly blonde interrogating you over the aspect of a potential relationship.

“We aren’t dating, Pen.” Your head shook as you were filling a bowl with pretzels, taking it to the table in order to place it in the available space surrounded by other snacks. “I saw you guys kiss before you left the office yesterday! What kind of friends kiss each other on the lips?? If this is normal, we need to make Derek aware because I am missing out.” Penelope huffed out of frustration. “Mark my words, I will get to the bottom of this. When I find out that you are secretly dating, I will bring all of the hurt!” The blonde held up her fist while narrowing her eyes in your direction.

By the grace of all things holy, it wasn’t long until the team had slowly begun to show up. There were no more interrogations, not yet anyway. As everyone was piling up on the couch, there was very limited room for you as you walked out of the kitchen. “Fuck.” You groaned, arms crossed. “I am not sitting on the floor!”

“You can sit with me.” Spencer spoke up from his spot at the far end of the couch, his shoulders shrugging as his hand patted his thighs to offer you the spot in his lap. “Come on! This is a family friendly show! None of that.” Emily groaned, which had you rolling your eyes as you were heading over to sit yourself on your best friend’s lap.

“It’s not a big deal.” You protested her dramatics while your body was leaning into Spencer’s chest, your body snuggling closer to his as the show began at its scheduled time. However instead of enjoying the programme, you were too busy ignoring all the curious stares from your friends. “Come on!” You huffed while pushing yourself to sit up. “What is the big deal? You’re all staring like we are animals in a zoo.” In all honesty, you were annoyed with the way people stared. You were friends, doing platonic things.

“Look. Kid, I hate to say it but you two are definitely a little too close for what friends should be. What kind of friends do you know that kiss each other? And yes, I know, they are pecks. I’m just saying.” Derek put his hands up as he broke the silence.

“It’s not a crime to have a crush on one another or to date one another.” JJ added soon after while letting her shoulders shrug. “We aren’t dating though.” Spencer confirmed everything you’ve been preaching while looking at the group in confusion. “Spencer, you haven’t eaten any snacks tonight because all of our hands have been in the bowl. It makes no sense to me that you’d kiss her considering the mouth has like a bajillion germs.” Penelope added.

“Well, the mouth has over a billion different germs and we don’t know the exact amount.” He corrected as he looked up at you for help. “I assumed we were normal?” He spoke up while you nodded in agreement. “I thought we were, too.” You huffed while leaning against his chest.

“It’s not even the hugging, kissing, and lap sitting. You guys just look so head over heels from an outside perspective. I mean, you hang out together all the time, you always room together, plus you guys go out on dates. You may not look at it that way but come on. You are both profilers. How do you not pick up on how you feel about one another?” Emily asked while frowning softly.

The more they were talking and giving actual points, the more you were thinking over the course of your friendship with Spencer. You’d always been close, even after your first initial meeting when you joined the team. You could remember how shocked the team was because the typically quiet and socially awkward genius was the first one to welcome you. You’d managed to become close friends over the course of two weeks. The first time Spencer even hugged you was after a case where he’d been put in harm's way. He came to you for comfort. You.

The first time you started your pecks on the lips, it was due to a complete accident when you tried to kiss his cheek but his head turned to face you. It just seemed.. Right. No matter how flustered you both were or how you felt butterflies in your belly, you just dismissed it. You being lost in thought was concerning enough for Spencer. “Hey. Do you wanna step outside?” His voice pulled you out of your thoughts, your head nodding. “Yeah, please head out with me.”

He helped you to your feet before his hand was gently holding yours, leading you out of the room.

“How much do you wanna bet that they are gonna actually kiss out there?” Aaron spoke up after being silent a majority of the night, the team turning to the unit chief who normally wouldn’t have inserted himself. “I’ll take those odds,” Derek smirked while getting his wallet.

Out in the hallway, you had your arms crossed as you looked away from Spencer. “I know that we are best friends and I promise you’ve done absolutely nothing wrong. I just really want you to tell me one thing,” You spoke while turning your head back to face him. “Did you ever, at any point, have feelings for me? Be honest.”

The words had Spencer’s face bright red, his hand nervously rubbing the back of his neck. “I mean, I’ve always thought you were amazing.” He spoke while offering a shy smile. “I just didn’t want things to get weird. I like our friendship and the relationship that we have isn’t something that could be ruined. Dating friends can get messy and.. I don’t wanna live a life without you in it. I can’t even fathom a reality where you aren’t here.” He responded.

“So you did?”

“Y-yeah. I just didn’t want-”

Your hands were gripping his upper arms while you were gently shaking him. “Why didn’t you say anything?!” You asked while staring at him with wide eyes. “I’ve always been fond of you!” You added, his surprised look making you laugh softly. “God. How are we profilers?”

“You know, I’m not so sure. I think we are rusty.” Spencer responded, a little chuckle leaving his lips. “So.. Is there a chance? You know.. Us?” He asked softly while you nodded. “I do think there’s a good chance.” You responded while Spencer sighed in relief. “So it won’t be weird if I do this.”

“Do what?”

His hands were gently cupping your cheeks, taking every opportunity to press his lips against yours, much different than you were both used to but it carried the same feeling as all the little pecks have all this time. It was right. Like you were meant to be together.

“I’m pretty sure they are running bets. Do we tell them we kissed or pretend like nothing happened?”

“I want Derek to lose his money in that scenario, so let’s not tell them yet.” Spencer chuckled.

#spencer reid #criminal minds fandom #spencer reid fandom #criminal minds fic #criminal minds fanfic #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid criminal minds #doctor spencer reid #dr spencer reid #spencer reid x gn!reader #spencer reid scenario #criminal minds fluff #spencer reid fluff

[transmascissues]

it's silly but the biggest reason why im not into t yet is bc im so afraid of losing my hair. do you have any solutions/tips for it?

first of all, i don’t think it’s silly — it’s natural to be worried when hair loss is talked about by so many people as like…one of the worst results of aging for men. listening to my dad talk about how much he hates balding definitely did not make me feel particularly good about the knowledge that i may very well be joining him someday. i’m not saying the fear is right, because i don’t think hair loss is something awful that we should avoid at all costs, but it’s an understandable fear given the beauty standards we’re working with, and it’s one that a lot of us (myself included) feel.

one thing that’s helped me is just…paying more attention to the guys that i interact with on a daily basis. i’ve learned two things from it: 1) hair loss is super fucking common. i’d say it’s much harder to find an adult man who isn’t balding at all than it is to find one who’s completely bald. and 2) if you forget everything you’ve been told about how bad hair loss is, you’ll realize that quite frankly, every single one of those guys looks totally fucking fine. it doesn’t ruin their appearance and make them ugly, it looks totally natural and isn’t really even something you’d notice if you weren’t looking for it. we put so much weight on it but it’s really just not that big of a deal. i’ll hear my parents talk shit about men in my family who are losing their hair when i didn’t even notice a difference last time i saw them. it’s one of those things (like so many other appearance-related things) that you really only notice at all because you’ve been taught that you’re supposed to care about it.

this isn’t something i’ve done personally, but if you really want to desensitize yourself to the idea of it, embrace the time-honored queer tradition of just shaving your whole damn head! find out what you’d look like without hair, find out how you feel about it and what you can do that makes you feel good about your appearance without hair, test the waters while it’s still a temporary change and not something permanent. that way, it won’t feel like this big scary unknown, and you’ll actually have a frame of reference for your feelings about how you look without hair rather than accepting the societal assumption that you’ll inevitably hate it. if you don’t want to actually shave your head, you could also just fuck around with bald filters or photoshop and see what happens.

oh, and if you’re attracted to men, keep an eye out for guys who are bald or balding and also hot as fuck. in my experience, there’s no insecurity or potential future insecurity that being gay for other men hasn’t helped me with. just off the top of my head, i can think of a couple actors who i think are absolutely fucking gorgeous who have helped me get over my fears about losing my hair. despite what our anti-aging-obsessed world might want you to think, there is no such thing as a physical feature that automatically makes someone less attractive, and while making attractiveness less of a priority in your life is good, it can’t hurt to also give yourself some proof that actually, you might lose your hair and look hot as hell doing it.

basically, entertain the possibility that it won’t be a bad thing at all! whether that’s just because it turns out to be a neutral thing for you or because you end up actually liking it, it’s not an inherently bad thing. i’ve ended up liking a lot of things that were “supposed to” be bad effects of t — i love the weight i’ve gained and the new shape it gives my body, i get a lot of gender euphoria from the fact that my acne is now on parts of my face that i saw a lot of guys in high school get it and i’m not complaining about the scars i get from it either because i’ve always liked the added texture that acne scars give my skin, and so on. i think there’s a lot of joy to be had in the changes we’re taught to fear, once we look past that conditioning and actually explore how we feel about it.

but if it’s something you really don’t want and you just want to improve your chances of not having to deal with it, it’s not like there’s nothing you can do! products like finasteride (oral) and minoxidil (usually topical but i think there might also be oral versions) are pretty commonly used among trans guys, for the purpose of avoiding hair loss and for other reasons, and there are plenty of other anti-hair loss products out there (though i don’t know how effective any one of them might be). if it’s a big enough deal for you, you can just decide that you’ll go off of t if/when you start noticing signs of it, since no longer having higher t levels would stop the process in its tracks. and if you don’t find prevention options that work for you so it ends up happening, you can always explore different hair styles (judging by the pattern of hair loss i see in my family, i suspect that keeping my hair long would make it less obvious if i started losing mine), find your preferred method of covering it when you don’t feel good about it (personally i love a good beanie generally and would probably wear them a lot more if i didn’t have hair to worry about because my main complaint is the way they press my hair onto my neck), or just shave it all off if you don’t like the look of the partial balding but don’t mind a shaved head. the point being — you have options!

at the end of the day, whether you go on t or not, you’re going to see your body change as you age in ways that aren’t always going to be attractive to others or aesthetically pleasing to you. that’s just the reality of having a body. even if you never went on t, you’d get older and you might see your hair thin out even if you don’t bald, you’ll see your skin start to wrinkle and sag in places that used to be smooth, your metabolism might slow or your body fat might start to gather in new places; hell, you might lose your hair for a totally different reason and end up in the same place but without the benefits of having been on t that whole time. life is full of bodily changes like that. transphobes will fearmonger about the permanent changes of testosterone all day long but the truth is, there is no escaping permanent bodily changes. whether or not you go on t, your body now isn’t the same as it will be in 1 or 5 or 10 or 20 or 50 years, just like it isn’t the same as it was at any point in your life before now. our bodies are never supposed to stop growing and aging and changing throughout our lives. there’s no guaranteeing that we’ll love every single change our bodies go through, but that’s okay! there are so many things in life that are more important than the way our bodies look. even if you go on t and lose your hair and don’t like how it looks, your life won’t be ruined; plenty of other things will bring you joy and more than make up for the insecurities.

just think about the gender euphoria and relief from dysphoria that t could give you. would losing your hair be bad enough to outweigh all of that? or is it just the pressure of a society that decided balding is bad that’s making you fear one single change despite how much joy you could have if you let that fear go? only you can decide if going on t is worth the potential downsides for you, but i suspect that for most of us, the benefits of going on t far outweigh the possibility of side effects like hair loss happening down the line.

#when i say i love helping people beat their fears about t this is what i mean. i will simply write a whole essay about it #some people might think it’s silly to answer a question like this so extensively #but i don’t think it is! i feel like this is a really common fear but also one i don’t see talked about much #maybe because it’s so common among cis guys that people don’t see it as a question to ask in trans spaces? idk #but i think we should talk about it more. especially when transphobes use it as a way to talk shit about t #ask answered #testosterone #hrt #ftm hrt #hair loss #trans men #transmascs

[fire-lizard-ro]

Ratio as a dad (kinda). Written for my dear @pix3lplays (they already saw this when I initially wrote it).

CW: none it’s all fluff (kinda)

Reader gender: no use of pronouns (as far as I remember) but AFAB

Writing under the cut (SFW):

So when you tell him, he doesn't know how the hell to feel. You guys never really had the children talk, but you could tell that he wasn't really ready for that because of a mix of being too busy, not really understanding children, and never really thinking about it.

To him, children are snot-nosed, loud, emotional little gremlins.

But he never thought about children in the context of you and him. A child born of your flesh and blood. Something you have made together through the miracle (or simple science, as Veritas would say) of procreation.

It would take him a while to think of it that way.

Initially, since this is in the scenario where you're already married, I think that he would be fine with it so long as you're happy with it. He does his logical reasoning and thinks, "Oh. I have the means to raise a child and she wants it." So he doesn't really see a problem with it besides perhaps the stress it will inevitably put on you and having to deal with the messy and emotional rollercoaster ride that is children.

At some point while laying in bed with you after weeks of reading prenatal care and child rearing books, he begins to get curious. Curious about what it would really be like to father a child that the both of you made. That's how things start. Curiosity.

Would the child look like you? He would like that if they could resemble his lovely spouse.

Would they look like him? He would also like this as there would be no doubting who the father of your child was. A reminder of how the two of you were undeniably together.

Would they look like the both of you? He would enjoy this outcome the most as it would be the best of both options.

Would they have his intelligence that he prides himself on? Your smile that he loves, even if quietly?

Because of this process of beginning to be curios and thinking about the child yet to be born, it's not hard for him to subconsciously relate good feelings (and chemicals like dopamine and serotonin, he'd think) to the child themself.

You're happy when you talk about the child and what you'll do for them and how you'll care for them. He's happy when you're happy. He's pleased when thinking about how people will be able to see a physical manifestation of your love and belonging with each other. You're happy to be having his child. He's happy about that, too.

While your feelings regarding the child is like a warm spring day or a cup of hot tea just boiled, his are more mild, still. Like your tea, already cooled, or a warm blanket. There are positive feelings involved now, and even he cannot deny it (at least to himself).

He takes care of you well, following the advice of the books and experts to the T. Perhaps a little too closely because it's a bit overprotective. You're his. Which also means it's in his obligation to take care of you well.

But when the child is born... I think there's at least a spark there. I'm not sure it's enough to light that flame quite yet, but now... He realizes that this really is his child. His and yours. He has your pretty eyes but with his color. The curl of your hair and the slope of his nose. Oh. Oh...

This child...

As the years go on and he spends time caring for the child and spending time with them, he begins to find all these little endearing things about them. How they'll seek him out even in sleep. How they'll smile at him happily, the slant of it so much like yours. How they'll crawl and eventually waddle their way to him when they begin to cry... Even just the fact that he spends time with them is enough to grow this bond. And at some point, they're off to school and it's clear they did, indeed, have his intelligent mind. But they're far more soft around the edges. Much more susceptible to the inherent loneliness, boredom, and ridicule, even, that comes with such intelligence.

But... he gets it. He never really thought anyone understood him at that age and for him? It was lonely but he was irritated by it more than anything. He had thicker skin than his child at that age.

So when they come to him about it all, he can only try his best to let them know he gets it even if he doesn't know how to express such a thing.

Ever heard the saying, "Even a beast will love its child?"

He’s not a nice person. His personality is rough and no one would ever think he could be suited to something as delicate as fatherhood.

And yet…

While he's not one for grand gestures, I think the kid would be able to see he cares.

It's in the little things for him.

Talking about the things they're interested in at school.

Telling them about his work and the things he researches. Being patient with them unlike how he is with his students. ("They are grown. But you are not," he would say with a short pat to the head before going back to checking over their homework with care.)

Rewarding them for their achievements, even if it's with something small.

All sorts of small things.

(He'll never admit it, but you have a picture of the two napping while the kid was sprawled against his side, head tucked into his neck.)

Anyways ofisjgeo yeah-

Hopefully this isn’t too delusional goodbye- I was trying to make him a Relatively Good Dad for Pix while also making sure he was still mostly in-character. OTL

#Roro writes #honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #dr ratio x reader #dr. ratio x reader #gn reader #afab reader #hsr x gn reader #honkai star rail x gn reader

[genderkoolaid]

have u seen the post going around that makes a big deal of how lesbians can and do date gender weird ppl and then adds on a whole addition about how they ABSOLUTELY STILL DONT DATE MEN. and finishes with "lesbians do get with genderweird folks AND still do not get with men. both are true." just say you dont believe multigender people are valid and go

goddddddd these fuckin people

Not only do multigender people exist, but also:

There are trans men who were cis lesbians and transition. Their lesbian partners can stay with them and, while some may identify as bisexual, others will identify as lesbians! Not because they misgender their partners, but because lesbianism has always been a space for transmasculinity & those who love it! Their trans male husbands may even identify as lesbians still, or maybe straight men!

Even transness nonwithstanding... sometimes lesbians fuck men. People will make posts about lesbians thinking a twink is a butch and finding him hot but I'm sorry, sometimes a twink and a dyke will have sex for fun because they want to. Sometimes a woman who's never had a crush on a man in her life will fall for one guy, even a cis guy, because human attraction is crazy like that. None of that means anything for lesbians who never want to date or fuck a cis (or trans) man. It means absolutely nothing for you.

Like. I always think "lesbians can't date or sleep with men? Who are you to tell lesbians what they can and can't do? Lesbians will do whatever the hell they want."

This all on top of the inherent fucking nonsense of "lesbians can date genderweird folks but still don't get with men!!!" like I really need people to grasp the concept that trying to categorize genderweird people into "man" and "not man" is just never not going to be exorsexist. Sorry you can't reduce it down to "butches who are transmasc and maybe use he/him or go by "boyfriend" but they never ever ever feel like a boy or man at all which means they are Good and Acceptable To Fuck" its so ridiculous. lesbian sexuality & romance & community is so much cooler and more beautifully diverse than the fucking spreadsheet ass people could ever imagine.

#sexuality is like the amazon rainforest not a lab-grown petri dish you squares #m. #ask box

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Propaganda:

For Bingqiu: "One is a housewife and the other is a trophy wife. They both want to be each other's wife so bad (even though Shen Qingqiu would never admit it)"

"Where do I even start... Housewife x trophy wife. Every gender havers. Shen Qingqiu can't decide if he himself is wife or mommy, but is convinced his husband is a delicate lovesick maiden. Luo Binghe has self-assigned himself all of the wifely duties of an ancient Chinese wife years before Shen Qingqiu has become remotely aware of his crush. Also later in the novel he acts like a jealous girlfriend. And specifically girlfriend, like it was an important part of his arc that he stopped acting like a jealous boyfriend and started acting like a jealous girlfriend instead. This has won him his man."

"They're insane, fucking unhinged"

For Vashwood: "themes... *coughs blood* motifs... *dies*"

"Doomed romance, is there anything more yuri than that?"

"the trigun fandom has been calling a specific few chapters of the manga "hospital yuri", i think because while they were in that hospital vash and wolfwood had massive lesbians energy XD"

"So Much gender, Vash is somehow both cis and a trans man and a trans woman all at the same time. they both keep sacrificing themselves for the other which is inherently yuri. they're fighting against the narrative imposed on them by people who want to see them fail, that's yuri too. they even had many heart-to-heart discussions about life and death and defending oneself and the necessity of violence and protecting other people and forgiving oneself or the other. yuri."

#guy yuri round 1 #bingqiu #vashwood #trigun #svsss #trigun stampede #luo binghe #shen qingqiu #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #(if you ask me they should be friends not fight) #guy yuri poll #scum villain #the scum villain's self saving system