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xsixxx · 4 years

Text

Bad Influence - Chapter 11

Word Count - 5.4K

Authors Note - It's been a while! 👋🏻 About 4 months I think 😬 If there are any Bad Influence fans actually left out there, I'm so sorry & I love you. I had a really fuckin shitty last few months of 2019 & because of that, I kinda stopped doing the stuff I enjoy, writing this fanfic & using this blog being one of them.

Then I tried to come back before I was ready 😂 I wrote this chapter out about 2 months ago, but never bothered to post it bcos I didn't care enough about it. But I've recently returned to it, rewrote it & remembered why I fuckin love writing this fanfic. So I'm super excited to post this chapter & I hope you don't all hate it after how long it's been 😂 It's a bit rough bcos I'm getting back into it & I'm kinda rusty!

I love you guys for baring with me, I can't wait to get back into writing this fic for you 🖤

Warnings - Um, the f word is used in like every sentence oops, some implied smut when Nikki is remembering (choking trigger warning), I guess 'violence' but not really violence???, a whole lot of angst & a teeny bit of fluff at the end

Tags - @cruecifymesixx @freddiessmallnipples @queen-crue @scarecrowmax @lovesick-heart0 @littlesunnymoon @80sheart-strings @cranberrirolls @inthebackofmycarlaytheirbodies @versnatasha @zoenicolesetser @crazysaladchopshop @ggorehorror @lunamadhatter99 @justtryingtoovercome @chaoticvybe @you-know-im-a-dreamer @eightiesrockbaby @valentines-in-london @xrosegoldwolfx @fupatroopaa @lilypetite88 @this-blog-must-be-the-place @ashleecrue @lauravic @dark-princess99 @unknownoblivion @mgkobsessed @antheasnow @rockaholi @nassauartist @sparxx27

(there's one bit where Nikki is glaring across the bar at a character & this gif is spot on)

*Nikkis POV*

I drummed my fingers to the sound of a guitar as I watched Mick do his thing through the glass of the recording booth, his fingers working magic as he played the riff to Looks That Kill.

Fuck, that weird little guy could play.

“Nikki, this song is gonna fucking kill!” Tommy yelled enthusiastically, beating his drumsticks on the arm of the battered couch his was lounging on.

I smiled weakly back at him, my nerves keeping me from matching his excitement. “I hope so,” I mumbled. I look around the studio, basking in the enormity of where we were right now. Mötley was recording their second album & my nerves were shot. It had to be perfect. It had to do well.

“Stop stressing man, everyone’s gonna fucking freak over this album, I just know it!” He replied, smiling encouragingly, his usual Tommy level of positivity feeling sickeningly sweet, but still, I nodded at him gratefully. “So we hitting up The Whisky or what tonight boys?” He continued, addressing Vince as well as me, who was pouting on the couch next to him.

I chuckled without amusement, shaking my head. “Fuck no, not a chance I’m going in there yet.”

Tommy scowled at me. “Sixx, come on dude, you cant avoid the place forever. Plus, she might not even be working tonight!”

“I’m not risking it! I’m not gonna be able to enjoy the night if she’s there, judging my every fucking move, you know how she is.” I replied, rolling my eyes.

“So you’ve still not talked to her since..” Tommy trailed off, awkwardly. But Vince happily picked up from where he’d left off.

“Since you lead her on, fucked her & then blew her off?” He snapped arrogantly, instantly causing my jaw to tense.

“Don’t fucking start with me, Vinny. I’m not in the mood.”

“Oh, you mean you don't wanna hear about what a dick you were? What a surprise.” The sarcasm thick in his voice.

I slammed my hand down on the recording table & stood up sharply. “The fuck is your problem, man?” I snarled, his attitude & the mounting stress from the album mixing together to create a dangerous cocktail of anger & belligerence.

“My problem?” He questioned, standing up to meet my stare. “My problem is you Sixx. Beths a good fucking girl, what you did was real messed up, I should fucking floor you again for how you treated her. You owe the chick an apology at the goddamn least.” He spat, his anger in Beths defence honourable, but fucking irritating.

I chuckled arrogantly at his misplaced valiance. “Give it up the knight in shining armour act Vinny, I didn’t see you rushing to commit to her when she was getting your dick wet.”

I saw the danger flash in his eyes as he took a warning step towards me. “I didn’t fuck her & leave either.” He hissed, the venom in his voice palpable.

“Aw, did I upset your girlfriend?” I joked patronisingly, very aware that I was pushing it too far, but yet I couldn’t help myself, Vince acting all high & mighty was really starting to piss me off.

Vinces eyes narrowed sharply & I saw his hands ball into fists at his side. “Like I said, she’s a good girl. She didn’t deserve that.” He said through his teeth, the strain to keep calm evident in his voice.

I smirked at him amused, looking him up & down. “Whatcha gonna do Vince? Hit me again? Defend her honour? She’s a chick dude & a stuck up one at that. And she ditched your ass if you remember, you should be thanking me.” I laughed, shrugging.

“You know what Sixx, you’re an asshole. You know as well as I do that Beth isn’t another fucking groupie to this band. Nah, I didn’t wanna date her, but I like her- We all like her.” He corrected himself quickly.

“Vinny’s right man, I’m not taking sides, but Beths cool & I kinda do like having her around!” Tommy piped up, nodding.

“Fuck off T-Bone, you only want her around because you know as soon as she goes, so does your uptight piece of ass.” I shot at him, my frustration with the pair of them growing at a dangerous rate.

“Dude c’mon, there’s no need..”

I cut Tommy off viciously. “What the fuck has happened to this band?!” I shouted, shoving Vince out of my face. “Since when do we give this much of a fuck about chicks?! Look at where we are?!” I gestured around the recording studio. Mick had stopped playing & had casually lit a cigarette as he watched us bickering through the sound-proof glass. “This is what’s important. Now I’m going for a fucking smoke, this conversation is done & when I come back in we’re gonna record a fucking album, got it?!”

I barged out of the studio, flicked open my lighter & sparked up my cigarette, leaning back against the wall as I took in a shaky drag, my anger still surface level. I exhaled & closed my eyes, feeling the May sun warm my face & start to melt my mood away.

What was everyone’s fuckin’ obsession with this girl?!

Yeah she was cool, but she’s still a chick. And chicks = trouble.

I let my mind wander back to the look she gave me as she lay beneath me, my hand around her throat as she came undone & smirked to myself as I lifted the cigarette back to my smug lips. She was so worth the chase.

But Christ, I’m supposed to feel bad because I don’t want all that cutesy shit afterwards? No. Beth knew me, we’d had enough arguments about the kinda guy I am, she did this to herself. Not my fault that she thought she meant anything more to me than any one of those other girls. She was a fuck. A good fuck. But a fuck nonetheless.

I took another drag as the image of Beth sat in her bed with that stung look on her face snuck its way involuntarily into my mind. I could see those hurt tears & hear her bitter words ordering me to leave. I couldn’t help the pang of guilt in my stomach that accompanied the image.

She’s a fuckin’ chick, Nikki. Chicks = trouble, I recited to myself, rubbing my face roughly with my hands, almost in hope that I could scrub away the memory of her pained face. Get over it man, it’s done.

I sharply exhaled the last of my smoke before throwing it aggressively to the floor, somehow more frustrated than I was before.

Time to go record a fuckin’ album.

*Later*

*Beths POV*

I smoothed out the material of the tiny black dress I was wearing as I pouted my lips at my reflection in the mirror, appreciating the sight of myself all dolled up & ready to forget all about Nikki fucking Sixx.

I flashed an all too familiar looking smirk at myself before I spun around of my sky high heels & strutted out of the ladies bathroom & back over to Sophia who was waiting at the bar, two drinks in hand. She winked at me as I got closer, holding out one of the glasses for me to take.

“Girl, you look unreal! If we weren’t here trying to pull for you, I’d take you home right now,” she laughed, nudging me & winking again.

I let out a laugh as I took a swipe at her arm, “I am not here trying to pull!” I insisted, not even managing to fool myself. It’d been a little over a week since I went from the all time high of fucking Nikki to the crashing low of realising I meant nothing to him in a matter of minutes & I’d laid around feeling sorry for myself ever since. Well, not tonight. I was gonna find a guy & I was gonna remind myself what a goddamn catch I am.

“Oh Beth, there’s a reason you’re wearing that dress tonight & girl, it ain’t for the coverage,” she giggled as I took another playful swipe. “Hey, there’s no judgements here! I’d want a good lay after the emotional rollercoaster that has been Nikki Sixx!”

I raised my eyebrows at her as she quickly mimed locking her lips. “Sorry, sorry, we don’t mention that name, my bad.”

I shook my head. “It’s fine, I’m over it,” I lied. “But, if a cute guy wants to buy me a drink & maybe show me a good time, I’m not gonna say no.” I shrugged as we both burst into a fit of giggles, before I took a long sip of the very strong cocktail.

“Well that sounds like my queue.” Came a smooth voice from behind me. I turned to face the handsome stranger who was stood leaning casually against the bar, eyebrow cocked as his eyes scanned up & down my body, drinking in the sight of me. “You have excellent timing.” I blushed, appreciating his good looks right back. He was classically good looking, with blonde hair & a chiselled jaw, dressed smart in a shirt that hugged his toned physique & muscular arms just enough to spark a little intrigue as to what lay underneath. He was the exact opposite to Nikki in every physical way. Where Nikki was unruly & unkept, this guy was clean shaven & well groomed. He wore no leather or studs & his smile was friendly & genuine, not smug & he wasn’t dripping in arrogance.

“I’m Daniel.” He introduced himself, holding out a hand for me to shake. I looked into his electric blue eyes & blushed once again.

“Beth, it’s nice to meet you.” I replied as smoothly as I could.

“& I’m Sophia, but I guess no-one asked,” she piped up mockingly, winking at me. “Now Dan, unless you’ve got a cute, single friend for me, I’m gonna get outta your way & go for a dance.” Soph smirked, grabbing her drinking & flouncing off towards the dance floor, blowing us a kiss as she did.

We both let out a laugh. “She seems great,” Daniel said as I nodded, taking a sip of my drink. “She mentioned something about an emotion rollercoaster though? I hope I’m not stepping on anyone’s toes?” He queried.

I swallowed my drink before letting out a little laugh. “Not at all, there are no toes to be stepping on, don’t worry.”

“Well good, I’m glad. I’m surprised though, a gorgeous girl like you doesn’t have a man. You’re sure there’s no-one, because you seem way too good to be true!” He flirted, as I laughed

“Oh you’re smooth.” I teased, “but no, there’s absolutely no-one.” I answered, pushing any & all thoughts & feelings I might have towards Nikki Sixx out of my mind.

*Little later*

“Wow, so you’re a doctor?” I asked, impressed.

Daniel laughed, shaking his head. “I wish! I’m a med student currently, but that’s the hope one day.”

“What made you wanna get into medicine then?”

He paused for a second, his warm smile faltering for a brief moment & I sensed his hesitation to answer. “I, um, lost my dad when I was younger. Spent a lot of time in hospitals with him when he got sick. I remember watching all these doctors around me taking care of people, helping, curing.. They seemed like superheroes to me back then. After we lost my dad, I knew I wanted to help people, be one of those people that kids could look up to in the same way I did, yanno?”

I nodded, smiling at his compassion & genuineness.

“Sorry, bit heavy for a first meet, I know.” He laughed awkwardly.

“Not at all!” I replied, “I asked the question, you just answered it honestly, I appreciate that.”

As Daniel carried on talking about his studies, I couldn’t help but admire him. THIS was the kinda guy I was supposed to end up with. Smart, hot as hell, a brilliant career ahead of him, goals, aspirations.. He was exactly the kinda man I could take home to my father. Daniel was everything I should want & he was actually interested in me.

And yet, I still felt that unwanted & yet infuriatingly all-to-familiar flame ignite the second I heard his voice drift over from the bar.

“Jack & coke please darlin’.”

Nikkis voice hit me like a slap in the face & rush desire all at once & I immediately froze, my body unsure how to react to my contrasting emotions.

“Are you ok?” Daniel asked, reaching out & touching my arm, concern written across his face. I flinched as his touch, still lost somewhere in Nikkis voice, & snatched my arm away instinctively.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-“ Started Daniel, his concern look now laced with panic.

“N-no, its fine honestly, its not you, its just..” I drifted off, briefly glancing behind me, trying to pin a location on the voice. My eyes caught sight of the four of them standing at the bar, waiting on their drinks. Nikki was dressed in his usual leather trousers, torn at the knees, & combat boots & a torn up shirt. His hair almost appeared messier than usual & he had a cigarette hanging from his lips. He couldn’t have been more different from the sharp, handsome man sat opposite me.

Daniel followed my line of sight & spotted the literal motley crew. Nikki was already hitting on the bar maid, distracting her whilst Tommy & Vince reached over & stole a bottle from behind the bar; all whilst Mick stood by, watching disapprovingly & swigging from his trademark flask.

“You know them?” Daniel asked hesitantly.

“Nope.” I replied bluntly, snapping back to reality & turning back to him. “I fancy getting out of here though, you wanna head back to mine, continue the drinking there?”

Daniel looked a little taken a back at the upfront offer as I stood up & downed the last of my drink, but I was fairly certain he wouldn’t refuse. I didn’t care either way at this point, I just needed out of here.

“Um sure-“

“Great, I’ll go find Sophia..”

“She’s over there, talking to those guys you apparently don’t know.” Dan stated, his tone now flat & a little judgemental as he raised an eyebrow at me.

“Look, Daniel, I don’t wanna get into it, but its better we just leave.” I said, hoping to avoid any questions, but his face was growing more unimpressed by the second. “I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you Dan, ok? But I can’t be here right now, so I gotta go. I’d, um, I’d like you to join me.. If you want to, of course. I mean, you don’t have to..” I mumbled, suddenly very aware & embarrassed by how he must be viewing me in that moment.

I saw his eyes narrow at my discomfort &, I’m assuming against his better judgement, he nodded & stood up to join me. “I’m not sure what’s happening here, but I’ve enjoyed getting to know you too & maybe you could fill me in on why you’re running away over that drink at yours?” He asked, a little suspicious but friendly. I nodded, giving him a small smile.

We started towards the exit when I felt a pair of hands snake around my waist & lift me excitedly into the air. I squealed in shock & suprise as Tommy span me around before placing me back on my feet.

“Beth! I cant believe you guys are here, what’re the chances? Soph said you came here to avoid us & we came here because Sixx wanted to avoid you! How fuckin’ funny is that?” He said, roaring with laughter, his hand resting on his stomach as he struggled to regain control on his amusement.

“Tommy.” I said sternly, shooting him a look that told him to shut the hell up. He quickly stood up straight, coughing a little to hide his laughter, before glancing over towards Daniel.

“Hey, who’s this? I’m Tommy dude, how ya doing?” He said, offering out his hand enthusiastically.

“Daniel, I’m good man, how’re you?” He answered, accepting the handshake hesitantly.

“I’m good? Hey, you wanna come meet the rest of the guys?” Tommy offered enthusiastically, without a second thought as to why that might not be such a good idea.

“Actually T-Bone, we’re just heading out.” I replied sharply, giving him another warning look.

“Ok, ok,” he laughed, holding his hands up in defeat as he got the hint. “It was nice to meet you man!” Tommy smiled at Dan, who nodded awkwardly back to him before T-Bone practically bounced back over to the bar.

“Don’t know them huh?” Daniel asked, his voice oozing with sarcasm suddenly, making me cringe.

“I’m sorry, they’re just.. A lot, ok?” I tried to explain, frustrated, mainly with myself.

“What’s the deal with this one?” Asked Dan, gesturing towards Nikki, who was leaning against the bar, sipping on his Jack & coke, his eyes fixed coldly on he two of us.

“That’s the, um.. Emotional rollercoaster.” I answered sheepishly, coughing to distract from my amounting discomfort, whilst simultaneously avoiding the eyes of both Nikki & Dan.

“Right.. Well, your rollercoaster is on his way over here.”

Fuck.

I glanced up to see Nikki, in all his arrogance, strolling towards us, his usual smirk fixed in place.

“I’m so sorry for whatever he says.” I quickly whispered to Dan, before Nikki came to a stop in front of us. I watched his eyes scan up & down Daniel, obvious sizing him up without an ounce of subtlety, before he turned his attention to me.

“Leaving without introducing us, Lizzy?” He drawled, the pretension thick in his voice.

“Yes Nikki, I am. So if you’d like to move-“

He cut me off, his focus back on Daniel. “I’m Nikki Sixx,” he stated, without the courtesy of a handshake.

“Daniel,” Dan replied, flatly, seemingly glad there was no extended hand to shake.

“And how do you know the lovely Lizzy here, Dan?” Nikki asked, his smirk never once faltering.

“We just met tonight, but we’re justing heading back to hers, if you don’t mind.” Dan replied simply, taking my hand.

“Oh but you see, I do mind.” Nikki stated bluntly, his smile as wide as it was dark as he side stepped back in front of Dan who had tried to manoeuvre round him. “Lizzy here is what we like to call a groupie & we,” he gestured towards the rest of the band behind him, “don’t particularly like sharing.”

“Oh fuck you, Sixx.” I scoffed, my face growing hot with a mix of anger & embarrassment. I turned to look at Dan, cringing at his raised eyebrow & gave him an apologetic look. “Don’t listen to him, he’s just being an asshole, I’m not a groupie.”

“Really?!” Nikki replied, dragging out the word dramatically as his shit eating grin somehow managed to grow wider. “Because I remember fucking you about a week ago & my boy Vince over there,” he pointed to at the very pissed off looking lead singer, “swears he remembers fucking you not long before that? Or are with both mistaken? I mean, there are a lot of you girls, you do all kinda look the same.. Feel the same too.” He chuckled darkly, shooting me a sly look. I glared at him with an expression so deadly that dared him to carry on. He rose to the challenge. “I tell you what though buddy,” Nikki continued, leaning into Dan so he was speaking into his ear, but just loud enough for me to catch what he was saying, “if you’re heading back to hers you’re in for a treat. She’s got the mouth of a motherfuckin’ Angel.” He finished, glancing over at me & winking. I was prepared to fly at him in a blind rage, fists balled, ready to wipe that smug smile off of his face permanently, when Dan spoke up, in a voice so peaceful & gentle, that it made his words seem somehow harsher.

“You are an arrogant piece of shit. I’ve been sat with this girl for the last hour & I spend a minute in your presence & it’s immediately clear to me that she’s way too good for you. But I’m sure she’ll realise that in her own time.” Daniel turned back to me, his expression stoney & irritated, but I could swear there was a hint of sympathy in his eyes. “If you ever get off of this rollercoaster doll, you know where you can find me.” He said, letting go of my hand as he stepped around the unmoving Nikki.

“Daniel, wait..” I caught him by the arm & quickly stepped in his path, stopping him.

“Beth, you seem like a great girl & I don’t think I’ve ever hit it off so quickly with someone like I have with you. But it’s obvious you have something with that guy & I’m not really interested in competing with him for your attention.”

I nodded slowly, knowing his words were fair. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok. And I mean it, if you decide to get off the rollercoaster.. I can probably offer you a slightly calmer ride. A carousel maybe?” Dan winked, laughing as I let out a light giggle. His blue eyes focused on mine, sending a surge of electricity through my body that momentarily extinguished the flame that Nikki somehow always managed to light. I lifted my lips & placed them softly on Daniels for the briefest second, before pulling away.

“Thank you.” I whispered.

His eyes lingered on my lips for a second, silently asking for more, before he came back to reality & gave me a genuine smile. “It was nice to meet you Beth. I do hope I get to see you again”, he nodded, before kissing my cheek & heading for the door.

I stood still for a second, gathering my thoughts & regaining my composure, before walking towards the bar where the Crüe & Sophia were stood, trying to act as if they hadn’t been watching.

I had barely made it over to them before Nikki was straight in there with his sly comments, immediately trying to get under my skin.

“Aw was Prince Charming not happy to hear the Princess was actually a band slu-“

Nikki didn’t get the chance to finish his insult. He was silenced by the remainder of my drink soaking him as I threw it at him furiously, dousing his arrogance with my cocktail.

“That is for thinking you have any right to chase away a good guy just because your petty, selfish ass is jealous.” I spat. “And this..”

The loud crack of my hand slapping him sharply across the face echoed around the bar, followed by the whooping of Vince & Tommy. I even caught a glimpse of Mick smirking.

Nikki recoiled, his hand flying to his crimson cheek, shock & fury on his face. But his rage couldn’t match mine. I grabbed his face roughly, my hand cupping his chin & cheeks, forcing him to meet my wrathful glare.

“That is for fucking me & leaving me like I was one of your whores.” I seethed, my voice quiet & dangerous.

Nikkis face went from white hot anger to an ice cold stare in an instant as he straightened up, pushing me off of him as he did. He took a step towards me, but I didn’t move an inch. I was way too fucking angry to back down.

“Listen Princess, you’re fucking lucky I’m not a bad guy-“ he began, but my sharp laugh rang loud, cutting him off.

“Not a bad guy?! Nikki, are you really that delusional?! You’ve done nothing but purposely fuck with my head from the day I met you. You’ve insulted me, dragged me down to your level, used me, screwed my chances with two different guys & for what?!” I screamed, tears threatening to form. “No, you know what?! You're fucking lucky Sixx, I’m not gonna do this here. I’m done. I don’t want anything to do with you.”

I span around, ready to make my dramatic exit, when I came face to face with a very happy looking band manager, Doc. He clearly couldn’t care less about our drama as he marched over to us like nothing was happening.

“Bartender, a round of shots for these boys & their girlfriends. We need to celebrate;”

“The fuck are you talking about Doc?” Snapped Nikki, his eyes still fixed on me.

“Boys, you’re in!" He announced, unable to hide his obvious pleased-with-himself smirk "I've just been told that Mötley Crüe have been offered a last minute slot to play alongside the likes of Judas Priest, Scorpions, Van Halen & The Prince of fucking Darkness, Ozzy fucking Osbourne at the US Festival on Memorial Day weekend!” Doc exclaimed, laughing as the band began shouting & whooping, looking disbelieved & excited as hell. Choruses of “are you serious?!” & “you’re fucking kidding!” we’re passed between them as Doc reassured them that they were on their way up.

In that moment, watching these guys I’d grown to love over the last couple of years get the break they worked so hard for, I couldn’t be mad. I watched as Tommy jumped on Nikkis back, Vince hugged Doc & Mick silently smirked to himself. They deserved this.

Doc handed me & Sophia a shot as we congratulated them all, although I couldn’t quite bring myself to share my enthusiasm with Nikki. But he was too busy to notice as he held up his shot glass in a toast.

“To us! We’ve got an old man, a kid drummer, a cover band singer & a fucking run away. Win it all or loose it all, we’re Mötley fucking Crue!” He yelled, his excitement & energy almost infectious, as much as I wanted to hate him.

“To you guys!” Sophia cheered, laughing as we all downed our shots.

“Let’s get another round in, we’re celebrating! And pour one for yourself gorgeous.” Vince called to the barmaid who was more than happy to oblige, blushing as he winked at her, turning on the Vince Neil charm that would assure she’d be going home with him at the end of the night. I remember that well, I chuckled to myself.

The atmosphere of the night had changed so dramatically from what it was 10 minutes previously, everyone’s anger & awkwardness forgotten in the wake of such elating news. I looked around all the happy faces; Vince flirting with the bar maid, Tommy all over a giggling Sophia, Mick & Doc eagerly discussing set lists & felt an overwhelming sense of misplacement. After all that had happened, I just couldn’t bring myself to match their enthusiasm, not tonight.

I noticed Nikki's gaze focused on me, his face betraying his now obvious guilt as he watched me stand alone, uncomfortable & upset. His sudden success had clearly snapped him out of his petty, jealous mood.

Uninterested in an apology from him, I let my eyes continue to scan the room, looking anywhere but at him, when Sophia glanced over, catching my eye & gestured for me to join in. I forced my best smile as I walked over to her & Tommy.

“Take another shot Reynolds!” Tommy shouted, pushing a shot glass of mysterious liquid at me. I laughed politely as I shook my head.

“Thanks, but no thanks T-Bone. I think I’m actually gonna shoot yanno, I’m getting pretty tired.” I lied.

“Beth, don’t leave, please?” Tommy pleaded, his face suddenly serious, moving away from Soph & towards me.

“T-Bone, it’s not a big deal honestly, you guys enjoy your celebrations!”

“Just talk to him. I know the fucker doesn’t deserve it, Beth, I know. But he cares for you more than you think, I promise. We all do.” He added, placing his hand in mine & giving it a squeeze as he flashed me a goofy half smile.

I gave him a half smile & squeezed his hand back. “I know Tommy & I love you guys, I really do. But I can’t be around him, its.. it’s too hard.” I muttered back, so quietly it was almost inaudible above the music playing in the bar. But Tommy caught it.

“You care for him too, don’t you?” He asked, just as quietly.

I nodded, my eyes filling with tears. “God knows why T-Bone, he’s made it clear he doesn’t care about me. I’m just another girl he fucked.” I sniffed, furiously wiping away my tears before anyone noticed.

“Beth, Sixx is a dick. I’ve watched him fuck over chick after chick who was convinced they’d tame him & he tosses them without a second thought. But not you. I don’t know what the fuck goes on in Nikkis head, but that fucker cares about you. So please, don’t ditch us all just because you think he doesn’t.”

“I’m sorry Tom, I know he’s your friend & you wanna see the best in him, but you’re wrong. Nikki Sixx only cares about himself.” I replied, straightening my posture & regaining my composure. I pulled Tommy into a tight hug & congratulated him again. “I’ll see ya around T-Bone, I’m sure.” I winked, gesturing towards Sophia.

He laughed, “I’ll look after her.”

I blew him a kiss before heading towards the door, not wanting to disturb anyone else’s night with my drama.

“Lizzy, wait up.” I heard Nikkis voice call. I closed my eyes briefly, choosing whether to stop or keep going. I chose the latter & walked swiftly out of the door, pretending I hadn’t heard.

But my ignorance was in vain & he was right behind me, following suit out of the bar.

“Nikki please, just go back-“

My sentence was cut short by his lips crashing onto mine. I froze, feeling anger, lust & passion sweep through my body as my brain tried to compute the correct emotional response. I pushed him away sharply, deciding anger overwhelmed any feelings I had towards him.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?! Are you asking for another slap?!”

“Lizzy, I’m sorry ok?” He blurted out, clearly uncomfortable with apologies.

“You’re sorry?! Oh, well that makes everything ok then.” I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes at him.

“I know ok, I fucked up. I’ve been a dick to you & I’m sorry. I just, I don’t know how to do this shit.” He mumbled, running his hands through his tangled hair.

“Do what, Sixx?” My frustration mounting with his half-assed apology.

“I don’t fucking do.. This.” He gestured between the two of us, struggling to find his words.

I sighed with exasperation. “What is this Nikki? Is this an apology or what, because honestly there isn’t much you can say right now, just let me go home.” I finished, turning to leave, but he caught hold of my hand, pulling me into him. He placed his hand gently under my chin, bringing my face up to his.

“I don’t do this, ok? I don’t do feelings or relationships, fuck, I won’t even sleep with a girl twice.” He laughed, before clearing his throat when he saw my unamused expression. “Lizzy, I am sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I got pissed as hell when I saw you with that fucking pretty boy, I snapped.. I don't know, I guess I was kinda jealous.. I do care about you.”

I scoffed. “You’ve got a funny way of showing it.”

“I do, Lizzy. But listening to you telling me why I’m a bad guy, all the shit I’ve done to you, you’re right. And I’m sorry. Just, please don’t leave. Come celebrate with us, we all want you here. I want you here.. You’ve been with us from the start, it wouldn’t feel the same without you. You mean a lot to me... Um, to us. You mean a lot to us.” He corrected.

I looked into his green eyes & saw the sincerity, noted the lack of arrogance in his voice & the absence of his usual smug smile. I so badly wanted to give into him. I wanted to taste his kiss again, melt against him like I always do. I wanted to take his hand & go back inside, enjoy the night with the band, drink, have fun & fall into bed with him when the night was over.

But I’d fell for Nikkis sweeter side before, I knew how the night would end. He’d leave afterwards & I’d be hurt all over again. And I wasn’t gonna let that happen.

“No Nikki, I’m sorry.”

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motherofwoofers · 4 years

Text

I’d Rather be Hibernating Ch 10

The visit with his sister was exactly what Luka expected.

A passive aggressive Juleka, and sweet but scolding Rose. Juleka's eyeliner had been at least a day old, but did nothing to hide her scowl. He'd even go so far as to say it *enhanced* it. She had her long dark hair pulled back into a ponytail, a drooping off the shoulder tee, and black leggings to finish off the look. Essentially at ease in her apartment, something that had taken the last few years to develop.

Rose had been equally at ease, an adorned apron wound around her body, slightly over-baked cookies cooling on the counter. Her new side cut was slightly grown out, but still revealed the increasing number of piercings in her ear. All well placed. She was a whimsical sprite, with a little mischevious edge. He loved her all the more for it.

He had lounged on their small couch, a handful of cookies, and answered all the questions. A searing violet gaze when his answers in regards to his night with Marinette were short and clipped. A hidden warning and question in them, especially once Rose had leapt forward, flipping his jacket open to reveal his missing signature hoodie. A coy grin and sparkle lit her eyes. He had shrugged, *she was cold, and I wasn't about to let her freeze*, followed by a *mhmm* from Juleka, though she refrained from further questions. She knew him well, and knew enough to stay out of certain situations unless she needed to intervene. Intervention wasn't necessary when it came to Marinette, only a want to make sure neither were hurt, if things went awry. Marinette had been closed off for a long time now and her brother deserved some one other then herself and Rose to care for him. To openly and knowingly care for him.

When Rose had risen to go finish preparations for a small oil tossed pasta, Jules had slid to the end of her chair. Hand reaching out to rest on his leg, concern written all over her face.

"Have… has… are you facing the dark again? Is that why you haven't reached out lately?" Her question was quiet, not wanting to alert Rose to the conversation. Her need to mother and fuss excessively, would not be warranted right now, it was not how Luka healed. Though Juleka valued her partner's true caring core. She would make a wonderful mother.

But Luka's eyes had shuttered, even as he pasted a care free crooked grin across his face. "I've just been worn out, Jules, nothing more." Then he shoved a cookie into his mouth, as Rose gestured excitedly to the table for them to eat, effectively ending the conversation. The small meal had passed with lighter conversation: new albums from favored artists, if Luka would be travelling with Jagged, new song ideas for their own band.

Then he had left, with promises of staying in touch more often, especially when things were hectic like the storms.

Luka arrived at the Dupain-Cheng bakery a short Metro ride later, and he snuck around to the back entrance, that led straight to their home. The small chime only took moments before the door was answered. Sabine already wore a light kimono robe over her night attire, home slippers adorning her feet. He always forgot how petite she was, had she shrunk recently? Luka grinned, he would never ask her. Her exclamation at seeing him warmed his heart, he had always felt incredibly welcomed in this home.

She leaned in from a higher step, hands braced on his shoulders as she kissed both cheeks. "Oh how wonderful it is to see you again, Luka! It really has been far too long! Come in, come in. Hurry out of the cold, Dear," she ushered him up the stairs into the home, closing and locking the door behind them. Once they reached the main floor, and he had removed his shoes, Sabine began bustling about in the kitchen, a tray quickly filling with a pot, bowls, cups, food hidden beneath a tray, and a few other items he missed. Tom swept into the room, dressed for bed, breath fresh with mint. He wrapped Luka up with both arms, joyously tweaking his pulled back hair.

"Is this new? I like it. Really suits you, son," he turned affectionately to his wife, she was nearly done. "Bed, Ma Tigresse?"

"Yes, dear," she smiled up at him. "Just preparing a meal for Luka to take up to Marinette."

"A meal? Do you mean the whole kitchen?" He joked, thumping Luka solidly, before heading back to their room. Sabine only shook her head and grinned.

Pressing the tray into his hands. "Some dumplings for you. Encourage her to eat, she sleeps so much during these months. If you need anything, let me know," she patted his cheek gently before shuffling off after her husband, the quiet click of the door behind her.

Luka made his way down the hall then up the stairs to Marinette's room, after some balancing, he rapped quietly on the door, and waited a few moments before pushing the hatch open. Marinette was swaddled on her chaise, sketchbook in her hands, a few pencils stuck haphazardly in her hair, like her own personal holder. He couldn't keep a smile from creeping onto his face, as he watched her and sat the tray of food on a small table. She was hard to sneak up on these days, but she was so thoroughly engrossed in her work, and comfortable at home, that she still hadn't noticed him. It wasn't until the latched snapped close as he lowered it, that she looked up, a silent *oh* on her face, before it lit up into a smile that nearly stopped his heart.

He barely had time to straighten and prepare himself as she launched from the chaise, and wrapped him up in her arms, face buried to his chest. There was barely a pause before his arms tangled around her as well, pulling her even tighter to his body, leaning his head down just barely to rest his cheek in her hair. It was still slightly damp from a recent bath and smelled refreshing like citrus.

"You came!" She finally announced pulling away. He held back his desire to fold her in once more, and let his hands relinquish her.

"I said I would," that grin. *Her* grin flashing across his face. "Did you doubt I would?"

"No, I just... I'm glad you came, Luka," and her small voice was warm. "It's been awhile since I've had anyone over, especially once school ended," she moved away, settling back into her cocoon on the chaise. "And… and it's nice that it's you." She was hesitant for a moment, looking away fluahing, "I'm *happy* it's you."

Luka was stunned into silence, and if she had looked up, he's sure she would've seen him, mouth agape, staring in shock. But he hid it away quickly.

"I'm happy to be here," he took the moment to look around her room, shrugging off his coat in the blissfully hot and humid room. He felt he could just melt into the floor now and sink into a deep unfettered sleep. "You've changed some things."

"Oh," Marinette looked up and around her room. "I suppose I have since you've been here." Indeed the room had changed. More shelves had been built housing swaddled fabric, her desk grander with all sorts of sewing odds and ends. Three dress forms were now stationed around the room, instead of one. Two of which appeared to be in some state of creation. The space heater had been placed directly in the middle, pointed at her chaise, then further to her lofted bed. The extension cord had been hidden under a Ladybug rug that had been drug over it. Preventing unnecessary tripping.

"Hang your coat anywhere," she gestured, turning back to her sketchbook. "I'm sorry… just give me a few more moments, I need to get this idea down before it floats away." He watched as she pulled her bottom lip into her mouth, brows furrowing as she focused. He chuckled to himself, before hanging his jacket from a hook by her closet.

"Take your time. I know that creative itch," he snagged a roll from the tray, biting into the buttery goodness, "Your mom sent me up with food."

"Of course Maman did," she laughed glancing up. "Luka!"

"Yes?" He paused mid-chew.

"You're wearing the same pants from days ago!"

He looked down in confusion, "Yeah, looks like it."

Marinette crinkled her nose, "Go bathe! It's been days!"

"I'm fine. I'll shower when I get home," he finished off the roll before strolling closer, attempting to peer at her current work, before she flipped it closed.

"You absolutely will not," she stood, blanket forgotten. "You're just as worn out and dirty as I was. Trust me, you'll appreciate it." She gestured towards her small en suite, gathering a plush mint towel as she did. "Besides you can't sit on any of my stuff in those!"

"Already trying to undress me again," he chuckled, following slowly after her.

She spun, a bright pink on her face, "I am not!"

"I've nothing to wear if I bathe. You said so yourself, I cant sit on any of your things."

The rest of chapter 10 can be found on AO3 here

The chapters are a bit too long to post in entirety on Tumblr, but as always you can find chapters 1-22 on AO3!!!

#lukanette #luka couffaine #miraculous ladybug #luka x marinette #mlb fanfic #I'd rather be hibernating

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snicksnack90 · 4 years

Text

Nuclear

Smut (Shameless) - Loki x OC

Summary : Who needs Audible when you have a Loki to read to you? It’s truly an “Earth shattering” experience ;)

One of the finer parts of living at the Avengers tower is the more private balconies. It boasts a brick fire pit, surrounded by those expensive anti gravity chairs that you wouldn’t dare spend a dime on. There’s a few exotic looking plants, and a flat screen mounted above the sliding patio door. The best part, is no one comes out here. You’ve spent the last couple weeks lounging, engrossed in reading (and fairly new hobby). Mainly napping, if you’re being honest.

That changes one day, when The Pouty Prince joins you. He seems surprised to see you, one leg dangling towards the ground, a book splayed across the pavers at your ankle.

It’s late afternoon, and you’ve managed to skip out on “Team Dinner.” It’s not like you’re not social or anything, you just can’t stand to watch the group constantly argue amongst each other over the most simplistic things. The quiet here helps you keep your powers in check too, which is a bonus.

“Say, girl, do you lack such respect that you would split the spine of a book that doesn’t belong to you?”

You roll your eyes. “Oh hush, Princess. S’not like Stark doesn’t have 10 more copies laying around.” You shrug half- heartily. “I guess I just couldn’t get into it.”

Loki’s scowl depens, the skin of his forehead wrinkling almost comically while he stares you down. “So you would leave this fine piece of literature on the ground, like trash, because you simply lack imagination?”

You toss him a look, mouth tugging down at he edges. “What’re you, the library police?”

If Loki was created to be the God of Mischeif, then you were created to be the one absolutely Drive him insane. He was simply fascinated with watching you and he couldn’t figure out why.

You had gotten in the easy way (distant cousin to Pepper Potts) but had proved your worth time and time again. Your small stature and youthful looks made you the perfect, unexpected, and downright dangerous - spy. Being enhanced had its benefits too.

Loki saw right through your mask of dry wit and sarcasm, though. He could see the insecurity bubble at the surface every time the Group came together. There was a limited hold on the powers you possessed and the stress sometimes could be too much. Just recently you had passed out in the middle of training with Steve and had nearly destroyed the tower. Stark called you the little Nuclear Reactor, not that you minded, but it reminded you just how dangerous it all could really be.

When Loki eased into the chair opposite you, you resumed your laid back position, arm supporting your head. The last rays of light where filtering past the Gods head, shining through the dark coils of his hair. It cast shadows on his sharp cheeks and the shine of his eyes seemed greater than before. This man — no, god, was to beautiful for words. You watched him stretch back, and prop the book up before he began to read where you left off.

The sight of his mouth moving, the sound of his clipped accent and soft tenor while he read suddenly was like an aphrodisiac. The fact that he was reading a downright smutty part of a book could have helped but you were shocked when the slow heat of desire pooled in your belly. You could feel the heat rise in your cheeks while he read through the detail, eyes sparkling with mischief and one eye brow raised. When you squeezed your eyes shut all you could see in the darkness was the outline of his face, and his soft looking mouth moving in time with the recited words.

Did you seriously have a hard on for the most hated man on the planet right now? So sue you, you couldn’t help that he was probably the most attractive man you had ever seen in person.

You allowed yourself to slip into a meditative state ( a little trick from Nat). The sounds of outside faded away, and the soft sound of Loki’s voice lulled you into a near sleep.

You were awakened by the feel of weight on your chair, and when you opened your eyes, Loki was perched on the edge by your hip. Book held firmly in his lap, he smirked while peering down on you. “Did I bore you sweetling? Or are you too hot in the sun? Your face is quite flushed.”

You smiled up at him, while stretching, arms over your head and shirt riding up. You didn’t miss the sharp gaze he threw over your frame before returning to your face when you began to speak. “Told ya, just couldn’t really get into it didn’t I?”

“Is this because you lack personal experience? Or again, lack of imagination? Pity, really. ”

You are awake enough to give him an annoyed glare and start trying to talk over him when he suddenly begins to describe in great detail, the sex scene in the first chapter. “Loki, what the fu—“

“The fire burns low in his gut when she removes her shift. Never before has he seen a woman, nay...a goodness, so beautiful be cast to Earth. Especially for a man such as himself. She straddles his lap, careful of his injured shoulder and wraps one hand into his hair. - Kiss me, you fool she breathes. He tangles a great hand in her hair and does so, taking over her mouth and her senses. He reaches with his free hand to grab a hardening nipple and trap between his fingers, earning himself a low moan. She is sweet, like candy, like a breeze in the lighter seasons and he feels drunk with emotion. She begins to rock her hips over his heavy erect-“

You dig your knee into Loki’s back. “Dude, enough, sorry that I’m not creative enough to immerse myself into some stupid fairy-“

“Immerse?”

“Oh and further more, trying to embarrass me by reading porn is not -“

Your caught off guard when Loki suddenly reaches back to catch hold onto your knee, his other hand sliding into your hair and lifting your head so that he can press his mouth to yours. At first, you try to sit still, not reciprocating. His lips are soft, and you feel them part against your own and he breathes softly against your mouth. “Kiss me, you fool.”

You reach up and tangle your fingers into his collar, pressing up hard against him with a grunt and slip your tongue into his mouth. He seems surprised before he moves into action, rolling his tongue against yours, and crushing you into the chair. Loki pushes your knee up close to your chest and slips your leg over his lap, pressing his side into you as he deepens the kiss.

You sigh into his mouth when he puts his hand on your thigh, his fingers slipping under the gaping leg band of your shorts. You break away from him with a gasp and are caught like a deer in headlights watching his hand slip up your thigh.

When his pointer finger brushes the edge of your underwear, you can’t help but cant your hips up in his direction. A soft sound draws your gaze and you find him watching you, chest heaving and mouth red. He looks positively wrecked, eyes dark and like a snake coiled for its prey.

“Loki, please..” you breathe and let loose a cry when he presses his fingers up and over your mound, pressing hard onto your cloth covered clit. This is spiraling out of control but you cannot stop, won’t stop.

“What is it that you desire pet? Tell me.”

“You, I want you to touch me.” His clever fingers slip past the barrier of your panties and with a cry, your head falls back into the chair, back arching hard.

“My, My, are you so wet already for me?” He hmms softly and works the pad of his thumb against the hard nub of your clit, and teases at your entrance.

“God, you’re such a tease!” You huff, drawing him back down to your waiting mouth. He kisses like he’s had plenty of years to learn it, he kisses like it’s an art form and you’re lost to the smooth motion of his tongue when he curls two fingers into your cunt like he has all the time in the world.

You whine against his mouth and roll your hips. “Faster!” If anything he slows, withdrawing his hand completely and holds it up between your faces. You dart forward and suck them into your mouth with a moan, blinking up innocently at his stunned features.

Biting the pads of his fingers, you slyly brush your hand over the bulge in his trousers and he harshly smacks you away. “No, love, save that for another time.” And he slips his saliva coated fingers back into you, easier this time and uses his free hand to curl around your throat.

Oh, this is so hot.

He’s pumping his fingers lazily, but it’s the look on his face that makes the arousal swirl in your lower belly. The way his gaze bounces over your features makes you feel, cherished almost. Adored. Then his mouth starts going and that’s a hot combination.

Glittering dark eyes, full of emotion hold you hostage while he rocks his hand against you, choking you just enough to make you a bit lightheaded, whispering furiously to you.

Sweet, wet little girl

Going to get my cock in you next time

Tight, perfect little cunt of yours going to kill me

I’m going to ruin you, love

You hmmm deliriously, on the edge of orgasm and he must see it in your face because he suddenly picks up the pace, dragging a battle cry from your throat.

The place between your thighs is slippery and over the sound of your harsh breathing you can hear the sloppy sounds of your wet cunt giving around Loki’s slender digits.

Pleasepleaseplease

You don’t even realize that you’re blubbering until Loki groans in response about how pretty you are while begging and takes your ear lobe between his teeth.

Come for me, girl. Give it to me. Your cunt belongs to me.

Loki’s word bring about the end for you, and your climax sweeps through you like a raging tide. It sweeps you under and drags you down, and lights erupt behind your closed eyes. You can hear yourself crying out, and Loki’s rich voice reasoning to you from the darkness.

There’s a sound like rushing water and a static crackle bouncing around in your head that bursts with the note of screeching metal and shattering glass. Loki’s body drapes over you and you’re brought back down to Earth at the sound of the blaring alarm.

You blink wildly, trying to determine what the - Loki sits up and you realize that he’s withdrawn his fingers from you and- was he shielding you?

Glass tumbled down from Loki’s shoulders and hair, bouncing off your chest and scattering across the ground. It suddenly hits you that the sliding glass doors, and framing leading into the tower are a mangled mess. Your face heats when you comprehend that YOUVE done this.

Loki stands from the chair and helps you up. Brushing bits of glass from you both. You can hear the teams questioning voices echo across the way. Yelling and gasping following shortly after.

“Princess!” Tony barks. “No riling up the rookie!”

You blush furiously when Loki tosses you a wink. “Is that what they call it now, tin can?”

Just great, How do you explain this?

#loki smut #loki (marvel)#loki x reader #lemon #marvelsmut #oneshot #loki #hotboyloki #choking #smut #metahuman #reader x loki #loki x y/n #loki odinson #loki fanfic

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bruciewayne · 5 years

Text

it’s not about deserve (1/?)

established winteriron, developing stuckony, light angst, pining, 1.7k, multi-chaptered

ao3

Tony and Bucky were happy together, Steve wasn’t going to come between that, regardless of his feelings towards both of them. So he leaves.

But Bucky and Tony have feelings for him too.

Steve was happy for them, he was, he was! He just…no! He repriminded himself, he refused to even think about it. They were happy together, they loved each other and they deserved each other.

Both of them deserved love and peace, after Tony’s trainwreck of a relationship with Pepper and the endless betrayal and neglect from the people who ‘loved’ him and every damn thing Hydra forced into Bucky’s head, it made him irrationally angry but further proved to him how much they needed this and each other.

The last thing he was going to do was come between them, regardless of his feelings, he can't and he won’t.

When Tony and Bucky eventually announced that they were dating it never really came to a surprise to anybody. They had been spending more and more time together in Tony's workshop - initially just fixing Bucky's arm and helping him maintain it but after a while they (begrudgingly) admitted they were friends and then a few months after that, a happy and proud announcement that they were dating.

During the time they were - courting? flirting? they never left Steve out, always taking him along to their pseudo-almost-dates. And even now they take and invite him to places with them, but he can't, not when he has feelings for them.

He's stopped going out with them as much now because Bucky or Tony make a comment, usually sexual, sometimes sweet, towards him and he can’t help but think that they know. But he also knows that they weren’t the type of people to make fun of him. He refused to let his feelings ruin this for them and if it was choosing between having them, but they weren't together because of him and him being out of the picture, but they were happy together, everytime, every damn time, without a doubt, it would be the latter. They deserved each other more than he deserved them.

“Hey! Hey, Rogers! Where you going?” Tony yelled across the room to Steve who was putting his blue-common-room-sketchbook that was (previously) on the coffee table in his bag. He, in all they time Tony had known him, never left the tower with that particular book, on longer missions he took the maroon A5 one and all his black ones never left his room and he never let anybody look in them, the blue and maroon ones, anyone could, but never the black ones.

To say Tony noticed every minute detail about Steve was… fairly accurate. But so did Bucky, so, he wasn’t entirely alone.

“DC,” Steve replied, pulling Tony out of his thoughts. Steve zipped up his bag and slung it over his shoulder but not before Tony caught a flash of a corner of a black sketchbook.

“What!?” Tony said, distressed, “You can’t leave!”

“Who’s goin’ leavin’ where?” Bucky, not entirely awake, entered the room and gravitated towards Tony, hair messed up and shirt crinkled.

“Heya baby,” he greeted Tony with a kiss on his cheek and slipped and arm around his waist, holding back from touching Steve as well.

“Steve,” Tony started accusingly, leaning into Bucky’s side, “is abandoning us.” Bucky and Steve both huffed out a laugh at Tony’s dramatics, “I’m not leaving, I took the job Fury’s been tryna get me to do since 2012 in Shield HQ and I'm not going between DC and Manhattan everyday,” he explained.

“But you won’t be going there every day, right?” Tony tried to reason with him. Bucky hummed in agreement with Tony, tilting his head towards Steve.

He couldn’t leave, he and Bucky were so close to asking Steve to be in a poly relationship with them, or at least up until recently when Steve started going out with them less and less.

Bucky had said that Steve was ridiculously dense and obtuse when it came to people romantically liking him and having feelings for him.

“He doesn't think he deserves it, or that they’re lying to him, or that they just don't like him. Or he cant have them.” Bucky told him one night, when Tony, curled up in his arms, fingers trailing random patterns across tanned skin littered with scars, asked Bucky why Steve hadn't taken them up on any of the suggestive things they'd said. “It comes from being a little guy,” he continued.

“He's so ridiculously obtuse it's ridiculous,” Tony had mumbled sleepily, Bucky laughed, told him to go to sleep and that they would get Steve's head out of his ass eventually.

“Tony, Buck,” Steve said, his voice bordering dangerously into fond, he chastised himself, in his head, immediately after, coming close, way too close, to revealing his feelings, “I’ll either be there pretty much full time or overseas,” he hesitated, too many emotions flashed over his face, too fast for any of them to decipher, “I- I will miss you, though.” His voice was steady but he refused to meet their eyes, turning around quickly, hesitating again, but this time walking away.

Tony made to call out at his retreating back, but Bucky stopped him, turning to face him, and curling his hand behind his neck and the other staying on his waist. “Don’t, baby, he has to come to us and if this is what he wants, then...” he trailed off, unable to think of anything more.

Tony sighed, “I’m gonna miss him, a lot,” he buried his face in Bucky’s neck, arms wrapping around him and breathing him in.

“Yeah,” Bucky mumbled into his hair, “it’s gonna be a tough move.”

Steve stepped out onto the balcony if his old-current apartment, fumbling out a green zippo lighter and a pack of Lucky Strikes. He lit a cigarette and took what felt like his first breath since leaving Tony and Bucky.

“I will miss you,” he muttered on the exhale, smoke tumbling out of his lips. What an idiot, a complete and utter fucking moron. If they hadn’t known, they definitely knew now, he couldn’t’ve made it any more obvious if he’d tried. They were probably relieved he left.

They were to two most important people in his life, the only people in this century he’s ever, truly, loved. There have been other people, he was 97, not dead after all, but he never really loved them, only Tony and Bucky. But this, this distance and time apart was good, it was, Tony and Bucky could be with each other without him getting in the way.

And he could focus on his career.

His mind kept running through all the reasons why this was a good idea, despite how much it hurt to turn away, Fury had told him, way back in 2012, a few months after Loki, a few months before the team began living in the tower, when he’d let slip that he wasn’t doing much, apart from catching up with the times and going on missions, that the job he could give him was incredibly demanding, he wouldn’t have time for anything in way of a social life if he took it but he would actually be doing something.

He wanted to be doing something that wasn’t painful (external injuries, he could handle, but emotions would never be his forte).

He flicked the ash off and took in another drag, long and deep.

He tilted his head back, felt the rain hitting his face, let his eyes go almost-closed and release the smoke, watching it curl around itself and disperse into the troposphere.

“They ever tell you those things cause cancer? Did they give you the The Fault In Our Stars in your ‘Welcome to the new century, pal’ care package?” Tony called out, across the roof to Steve and uncaring of the rain walked out to the edge and stood shoulder to shoulder with him, leaning against the railing. Steve smiled and tilted his head back down, he took a drag and said, “I got prescribed ‘em for the asthma in the 30s, and now there’s PSAs and billboards sayin’ it’ll kill you but…” He shrugged. Tony felt the drag of wet leather on slightly damp fabric against his shoulder.

It annoyed him less than he thought it would.

It suddenly dawned on Steve that Tony didn’t has superhuman regenerative properties and a third of his lungs weren’t a network of alveoli but an engineering marvel of glass and metal.

And that the PSAs were probably right about second-hand smoke.

“Shit, Tony, your lungs,” he hurriedly stomped out the cigarette and waved his hands about to dispel the smoke, “Tony, I’m sorry, you shouldn’t be around me right now, your lungs-”

“Steve, Steve,” Tony cut in, smiling softly at him, thinking about how a teammate he’s known (personally) for only a few months cared more about his health than Howard when he was a few months old, remembering how he always came into his nursery with a lit cigar filling the room with grey smoke.

“It’s fine, it’s fine, smoke if you want to, I came out to ask just, you know, how you’re doing, you seemed, quieter, even more subdued on this one ” he continued, he didn’t smoke anymore, not after Afghanistan and the arc reactor, but he remembered how relieving and relaxing it felt, although, he mused, for Steve it was probably all psychological now, remembering something he’d said about coffee last week, when they’d both run into each other at the Shield cafeteria.

Steve cocked his head to the side, and gave him a, confused look, as if, if this was the first time in a while someone’s asked him that.

Please don’t let that be the first time in the 21st century that someone’s asked him, genuinely asked him how he’s doing, Tony thought.

Steve swallowed, looked at the ground and then met Tony’s eyes, he looked so, so vulnerable and trusting and, it took that second for Tony realise just how young Steve was, in that moment he was, biologically speaking, only in his 20s. Jesus.

“I’m, I’m doing ok Tony, how are you?”

Steve ground the spent cigarette under his heel and turned back to face his apartment, exactly as neat and tidy (and lonely, but he told that part of his mind to shut up, this was a good idea, he was sure of it) as he’d left it, save for a thin layer of dust, but he’d tidy later, right now, he had a meeting with Fury and his next mission.

#pining #mutual pining #stuckony #winteriron #fic rec #my fic #my writing #nhw writes #light angst #steve rogers #tony stark #bucky barnes #repost #bc tumblr is a shit

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