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obsessivevoidkitten · 1 year

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Animal Farm

Male Yandere Farm Harem x Gender Neutral Reader (CW: Noncon, brief mention of cockwarming, brief mention of scenting, cum milking, yandere farm hybrids, detained reader, breeding kink, harpies, bull men, centaurs, dog men, cat men) Word Count: 860 (Was chatting with a friend about how I had a farmer/gardener hat and how I just need overalls, a white bandana, and a pink shirt and I will look like a professional trans monsterfucking rancher, this short fic is the result of that discussion, I hope it will eventually serve as a source of asks in the future. I know it is brief, but I loved writing this.)

(Animal Farm: Mondays, the mini-fic involving the harpies, can be found HERE.) (Animal Farm: Tuesdays, the mini-fic involving the dog-men, can be found HERE.) (Animal Farm: Wednesdays, the mini-fic involving the centaurs, can be found HERE.)

When you had first taken the leap to add monster ranching to your farm you were unsure if it would be a profitable venture, there were not many such places where you lived, but you did not know if demand would be high for unorthodox products such as monster semen. You started off with just one centaur, he produced huge quantities of cum from milking him twice a day, and it sold so well that you were soon able to add yet another centaur. Two was plenty to keep fulfilling the centaur semen needs of your small community so once you had enough funds you invested in three harpy men that laid a ton of eggs, despite being males, and they also produced some extra ball batter for you to peddle as well. Now you were making money from your usual crops, harpy cum and eggs, which were highly prized, and centaur cum. In almost no time at all you were ready to add yet more monster men to your growing ranch. Three large bull men now called your little slice of paradise home, their jizz was similar to the centaurs, but the flavor was quite a bit different and used differently in recipes. It also had a slightly different use in folk medicine as well. Milking and feeding all the monster men on your ranch was hard work but very profitable, but soon you noticed that eggs were being stolen and you eventually caught the culprits drinking from your centaurs early one morning. Two cat men desperate for food. You adopted them and used them for pest control around the crops and provided them with food and shelter in their own stable. You also added their cum to your product list. To make sure you did not have any more thieves though, and possibly more dangerous intruders, you got three dog men who patrolled your property in shifts, all they needed to keep them happy were some holes to breed and you, and the cat boys who were constantly in heat, were happy to provide them with a place to dump their seed. Now you had cat, dog, bird, bull, and horse hybrids on your property as well as many exotic crops which you had learned responded really well to having monster cum mixed into the compost. Your business was BOOMING, it was perfect. The monster men all got along with one another for the most part, and they were all extra sweet to you, the brawny bull hybrids even helped you plant and harvest your fruits and vegetables. It was a great life, for a while.

But you grew so many things and sold so much monster cum that you were gone off at the market far too often for your monster’s taste. They convened and decided that the proper place for you was with them, at the farm where you had an entire harem of mighty beast men to look out for you. After they decide this they confront you when you get back from the market. You try to reason with them but they are all very adamant, you will be their little mate that they kept close and safe and that was simply all there was to it. They could milk themselves and the centaurs and bull men could easily haul the cart to market and one of the cat men could deal with customers because they were so sweet and charismatic. There was only one problem, who would get to spend time with you? They made up a strict schedule to avoid any fighting. On Mondays you would spend your time with the harpy men, who greatly enjoyed tweeting and singing to you when they were not busy breeding with you. On Tuesdays you were property of the dog men, who always left you smelly and covered in their musk and cum. Wednesdays meant you belonged to the centaurs, they liked to run around with you riding them while wrapping your little human arms around their muscular torsos, and they also adored using you as a cock sleeve, bulging your tummy out as they bred you. Thursdays you belonged to the felines. They were normally bottoms for the dog men, but they still greatly enjoyed using you as a cumdump. When they finished mating with their beloved human they became the cuddliest of all the hybrids, purring and nuzzling and sleeping all snuggled up with you. Fridays you were with the three bull men, which meant that you spent damn near the entire day being used as a cock warmer that was swapped between three equally well hung dicks. When they weren't having you sit on them, and oftentimes while they were, they were grooming and licking you, feeding you, and in general babying their sweet owner. Saturdays and Sundays you were allowed to rest, and you needed it. But you never had anywhere near enough energy to even attempt an escape, and even if you did the dogs would just sniff you out. So you had had to accept your imprisonment at the hands of the monster men you supposedly owned.

#yandere teratophilia #yandere terato #yandere monster men #yandere farm #yandere harpies #yandere bull men #yandere centaurs #yandere cat men #yandere dog men #yandere harpy #yandere bull man #yandere centaur #yandere cat man #yandere dog man #farm harem #monster farm harem #yandere monster farm harem

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wheneclipsefalls · 2 months

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Little Gift- Feast

Dark Adult Neteyam x Fem Human Reader

Adult Neteyam pic by @cinetrix2 <3

Last Part Masterlist AO3

Summary: Your stubborn attitude isn't getting you much. Or perhaps...too much

Warnings: dubcon/noncon read at your own risk, MDNI, kidnapping, oral, jealousy, possessive behavior, dom/sub dynamics, power imbalance, swearing, aged up characters, etc.

Your one woman hunger strike is not going as planned.

Twenty six hours in and you are hungry.

So fucking hungry you are ready to bite off the hand of the next Na’vi to come into your space. Not that you would need to with the delicately cut berry spread before you. The same one that Neteyam had meticulously prepared that morning. Others may think of it as a sweet gesture but you see it for what it really is- a temptation.

In the same way last night’s mysterious, but mouth watering, meat had been. The beast that Neteyam had hunted, cleaned, and prepared with his own hands. The aroma had been so intoxicating that you broke skin from biting your bottom lip as you stared down at your share.

The first time you refused a meal you expected the Olo’eyktan to throw a fit, flip you over his knee, or even jam the food down your throat but he has done nothing of the sort. Instead, he revels in this little competition the two of you have. Because that’s what it is to him.

A game.

Sitting beneath a low hanging tree as you watch him train warrior diligently, there is nothing to entertain yourself with but the food in front of you.

This strange purple fruit in front of you has been cut down into smaller pieces. The inside looks similar to the videos you have seen of peaches and the juice runs down onto the leaf below as if it’s trying to seduce you into finally taking a bite.

Your stomach grumbles as if it’s tearing itself apart.

Fuck, why did you choose to resist food of all things?

The meals at Bridgehead were the furthest thing from a proper meal but you had always enjoyed scavenging out into the forest for various fruits and vegetables to spice it up. It’s one of the best parts of your day. And now that you’ve had a taste of the wonders the Na’vi can create with them, it feels like locking yourself out of heaven.

Neteyam’s gaze is heavy upon you.

Sending him a fierce glare you make a show of nudging the fruit away from you, even as your body screams at you to shove it down your throat.

Neteyam tilts his head, glossy braids swingings over his shoulder as a crooked smirk twitches at his lips. He isn’t frustrated, and isn't deterred. If anything those lips curve as if they hide a secret you are not privy to. So confident he knows who will be winning this tug of war.

You exhale a breath when he finally turns around to correct one warrior’s footwork.

A thump sounds from your side and you almost let out a scream before you realize it is Lo’ak who has dropped down from a tree. With a sigh he comes to sit beside you.

“Looks like fun, doesn’t it?” He gestures to the group ahead of you, eyes rolling as he looks at them in pity.

“Go away, Lo’ak.”

“Jeez what’s crawled down your loincloth?”

You look at him in disbelief. You will never understand where Lo’ak find the audacity to poke fun at your imprisonment.

“Besides Neteyam that is.” He chuckles and your cheeks heat instantly.

“You pervert! Never in a million years-”

“It’s not like I have to take his word for it either. You’re quite loud.” Lo’ak ignore your heated ears and agape mouth as he notices the cut up fruit before you. He reaches forward and plucks a piece with a delighted ‘ooh”.

Shiny juice escapes the seam of his lips as he chews and it makes your own mouth water.

Suddenly a hand is yanking Lo’ak to stand with a fistful of braids.

“What the hell?!”

“You skxawng! Those are not for you.” Neteyam hisses, releasing his brother with a huff.

“Alright alright. Damn, I was just keeping her company.” Lo’ak mutters, arms crossing over his chest with a frown. “Besides, I hate to see food go to waste.”

Their eyes lock as a silent line of communication strums between them. Eventually Lo’ak lets out an irritated sigh before nodding and jogging off into the treeline. Neteyam’s shoulder’s visibly relax, hands casually placed on those sinful hips as he looks down at you.

“You should’ve let him eat it. I’m not hungry.” You lie confidently, jutting your chin up in pride.

“Is that so, tiyawn?”

His deep voice ripples through your body.

“Yes.”

You go to give him a sneer, maybe even the middle finger, but looking up at him from this angle proves to be problematic. His loincloth has a bulge and it lights your curiosity. Despite all the vulnerable and exposed positions Neteyam has put you in you have yet to see what lies beneath that scrap of clothing. Averting your eyes doesn’t save you from witnessing the smirk that dances over her lips.

Stupid observant bastard.

His shadow looms over you as you fiddle with the strings of your loincloth. And then his braids are tickling your neck.

“Perhaps it’s not fruit you are hungry for.” That simmering whisper blossoms a blush once more but nothing in comparison to the one that emerges when he grasps your small hand and places it along his inner thigh.

He doesn’t let you pull away, not before you can feel the corded muscle and smooth skin. Not before your eyes cave into temptation and sneak a glance at the increasing size of that bulge.

“I know your little body has been enjoying our time together but if you’re good, I’ll let you play with me too.”

And then your fingers are traveling over the exposed skin until the silk fabric is beneath your tips. You can’t even look at him. You pray that this aversion will read as nothing more than pure revulsion, because you don’t know what will happen if he senses your underlying lust.

You can feel him twitch under your palm.

Eyes forced closed and heart racketing at your rib cage, it takes all your power to control the rise and fall of your chest.

And then the heat is gone. Neteyam releases your wrists, stands up, and sends a dark smile over his shoulder before rejoining the group. You want nothing more than to hide your face in your hands and scream but that would only show him your hand.

You need to be strong. Keep your mouth shut, fry his patience, and get the hell out of here.

Lo’ak is right about the training. It’s undeniably brutal and strict. While you stare in awe at the rate the young warriors can scale trees and shoot a target, Neteyam shakes his head and sighs before correcting them. You’ve studied a bit of Na’vi throughout your life but there’s no desire to translate his strict reprimanding.

You do, however, find it hard to keep your interest away from the various rippling muscles and shifting loincloths. You’re ovulating. You must be and if you were only in your bedroom back at Bridgehead you would actually be able to take some medication to tamper down this insufferable flood of hormones.

Still, you are stuck here and a group of nine foot tall walls of muscle are fighting, wrestling, shooting, and inadvertently showing off their physical prowess with ease. You swallow a lump in your throat when one Na’vi male tackles another and you get a perfect view of his ass.

Pandora is so hot.

So so incredibly hot and that has to be why you feel the temperatures rising along your cheeks.

Neteyam’s back blocks the view, a stream of instruction flowing from his lips as the two struggle to get the upper hand. Your hungry eyes start to travel up his body instead but you tug them away.

You’ll be on your deathbed before ever admitting to ogling these men but you’ll drink acid before letting Neteyam catch you ogling him.

Another shorter male’s abdomen tightens as he pulls back an ax carefully. Sweat glimmers along his blue form as focused eyes narrow at the target. Within one powerful swing the ax is chucked from his grip and pins a leaf the size of your thumbnail to a tree.

He sighs before reaching back to tie his hair. The stretch accentuates the contrast between his narrow waist and broad shoulders. And yet you catch yourself sneaking a look at Neteyam’s form.

For comparison purposes only of course.

It’s too risky though to notice the slope of his back or the way one strap of his loincloth has shifted dangerously low along one hip. Or note the way his dark stripes smoothly curve over and accentuate his v line. Because that is something you would never do. You would never look. Would never think about him outside of plans to escape. Never dream of his deep voice with that heavy accent or even think about how it sounds in his native tongue. And you most certainly would never anticipate the view of Neteyam between your thighs nightly.

Suddenly the ax-throwing Na’vi has become boring so you veer the focus as far away from Neteyam as possible.

You shift your body to your left, letting your hair create a curtain to block the view of Neteyam pulling back a bow. It takes a bit longer this time to immerse yourself in these next two who spar with long sticks.

All at once your body is ripped from your spot, legs dangling and kicking as you are roughly set to stand. Neteyam’s arm snaps around your waist as he kneels behind you.

“Do I need to put you in time out?” It’s not a joke. Not when his teeth are skimming dangerously closer over your ear. “I would be able to smell you halfway across the forest.” He growls.

Your thighs press together subconsciously as embarrassment floods in.

So maybe you had forgotten about the Na’vi advanced sense of smell.

“Which I wouldn’t mind were it not for your eyes being trained on other men” The ground slips beneath you and suddenly Neteyam is throwing you over his shoulder.

“Wait! Let me go!” You’re not even sure why you try at this point. It’s not like he has ever listened before. The hope of being heard dims even lower when you see his thrashing tail and feel his heavy footsteps as you're carried further into the forest.

But dammit you are hungry and hot and your loincloth is stained with your arousal so you let your emotions bubble over.

“You fucking brute! Put me down right now!” You scream, nails scratching harshly over his back. It doesn’t draw blood but wow those fading marks look so pretty over his blue skin. Not to mention the beauty of his ass swaying with every step. “I’m so sick of this shit!”

Neteyam is quiet.

So very quiet and it doesn’t sit right with you.

“Open.” He commands but you remain still.

Body frozen as you stand before him, his massive member at eye level. It’s almost as if your brain simply can not process the sight before you. The way his cock is so different from the ones you have encountered with its purplish blue hue, speckled glowing dots, and even the precum that shimmers in the fading light. Curiosity sparks once more and for a moment you consider reaching out to touch it.

However, the real shock is the massive size difference. You are no virgin. Bridgehead does not have a plethora of great men but you’ve found partners in the past to satiate your needs. So standing here staring and blushing feels out of the norm but with the way Neteyam is hung, how can you not?

Even at peak arousal, or what you hope is peak, it’s unable to sprout fully, the sheer weight dragging it to hang lower by his thighs. You’ve always assumed the Na’vi would be…bigger but this….you’d never imagined something like this.

The idea of ever fitting it in your mouth let alone inside of you makes your stomach coil.

Are all Na’vi males this way or is this something specific to Neteyam?

Something tells you that thanks to the Olo’eyktan you will never find out.

“Open your mouth, tawtute.” His voice is sharp like a drawn dagger, slicing through the wind to threaten obedience.

“B-but it….it won’t fit.” You try not to think about your choice of complaint.

Not that you don’t want to.

Not that he shouldn’t make you.

No, you simply complain about the logistics.

“You’ll learn, pet. Now open.” The nickname is anything but endearing coming from his lips now, honey eyes darkening as he stares down at you. This is retribution.

Shaking like a leaf, your lips ever so slightly part. It appears Neteyam is tired of giving verbal commands when one large hand grips either side of your face, pressing to force your mouth open wider.

“You won’t let me get any food past those pretty lips, fine. You will take my cock instead.” That growl reverberates through your body until it swirls into a low seated passion and desperation. Neteyam’s nostrils flare, soaking in the scent of your betraying body.

To your surprise Neteyam doesn’t immediately choke you on it but instead guides your open mouth to his base. Prying your jaw open wider, your lips are smeared along the heated skin. Hesitantly your tongue flickers out.

“That’s it, pet. Don’t be shy.”

When your tongue smoothes out to drag along the length of him you remind yourself that this is something you are forced to do. For survival. For escape.

And you prepare yourself to later bury the memory of your desire and curiosity in this moment. To forget how salty sweet his precum tastes as it dances along your tongue. To forget the way his pupils dilate as he purposefully paints your pillow lips with that glowing substance like it’s your own personal lip gloss. To forget the way his abs flex when the head of his cock is finally enveloped by your hot wet mouth.

But most of all, you promise yourself that you will forget how gorgeous Neteyam looks from this angle with his silky braids hanging loosely and glowing eyes devouring you whole.

The back of your throat is reached within record time. Your gag reflex immediately kicks in and Neteyam pulls out while cooing at you.

“Poor little pet. Not used to taking such a big cock, are you?” You take the condescending words without fight, trying to clear your throat and prepare for more. “But then again I’m sure Jeremy has never made you cum until you cry.” Neteyam smirks and your breathing halts.

You look up at him with wide eyes.

Oh God, when did he find out about Jeremy? A dark twinkle shadows the Olo’eyktan’s demeanor, his upturned lips promising an evil fate to your old flame.

“What di-”

“Down you go again, pet.” Neteyam interrupts, prying your mouth open once more and shoving himself inside harder this time. He doesn’t let up this time when you sputter and choke around him. “Relax that throat for me, tiyawn. I know this isn’t your first time doing this.” He chuckles.

Reluctantly you force yourself to follow his instruction, urging your heart rate so slow as you breathe in through your nose. Inch by inch, he slides down your throat until all you can taste and feel is him. A tinge of soreness already sparks along your jaw but stern eyes whisper the consequences of letting your blunt teeth even close to him.

A part of you yearns to get lost in the moment, let your arousal that has shamefully not disappeared since Neteyam’s confession take the wheel and give your mind a break. However, that is not the Olo’eyktan’s design. He means to drive a lesson home.

“I was under the impression that you simply didn’t enjoy giving oral, not with the way your scent soured every time that pathetic man had you on your knees.”

Your whimper of distress only turns into a hum that vibrates along him. Neteyam’s grins, toes digging into the earth below.

“But now I see that is not the case.” His hips roll forward, hand crawling to cradle the back of your head. “Staining that little loincloth for me. You just needed the right man to fill that pretty mouth didn’t you?”

Your protests are nothing more than high pitched whines as he picks up rhythm, only half of his cock fitting inside yet still more than enough to fill your throat.

“No need to deny it, oeyӓ tiyawn. Your body has been loyal to me from the very beginning.” That hand fists into your hair, holding you down on his cock as tears gather over your eyes. “Even when your mind has a hard time catching up.” All sweetness dissipates from his voice, left only with a hard steel.

“Like today for instance.”

You suck in air as soon as your mouth is empty, coughing and crying as he keeps that grip in your hair. A firm yank has your neck straining to look up at him.

“I thought you would know better, little gift.”

You subconsciously grip his thighs in order to keep yourself standing upright.

“But it looks like I need to spell it out for you.”

Suddenly your mouth is filled again but instead of waiting to let you suckle and explore, Neteyam immediately sets pace spearing down your throat. Nails digging into his toned thighs, you focus on keeping your breathing steady and relaxed.

“Good pets do not stare at other men. They do not let them smell their arousal.” Neteyam grinds out, a groan lacing his words as you feel him twitch. Your throat convulses around him, the urge to breathe through your mouth ever increasing. “Because good pets know who they belong to.”

The trembling in your legs skyrockets as your knees threaten to buckle. Suddenly Neteyam’s grip in your hair is not just there to keep you swallowing him down but also as an extra support.

“Do you know who you belong to, little gift?” A shudder ripples over his toned body, balls drawing up tight. And yet he pauses, keeping you frozen but still stretched around him.

He wants a response.

Nodding doesn’t appear to cut it, not when he tacks on a “and who is that?”.

You go to scoff at his persistence but it’s only another choked cough around him, tears spilling down your cheeks. He hips slant forward pressing himself even further down your throat until you are gagging.

“Say it.” The Olo’eyktan demands. “Say my name.”

He pulls out and airs hiccups through your lungs so fast you almost swoon backwards. But his name is still the first gasp to escape your lips.

“Nete-..Neteyaaaam.” It’s come out as almost a complaint but the Olo’eyktan’s joy is not diminished. His tails coils and flickers at the sound of your wrecked voice.

“Good girl.” That praise wraps around you, head lulling to rest against his palm. “Now come here and let me fuck your throat.”

It shouldn’t turn you on. The crude words are the furthest thing from what you should want but Neteyam’s accented voice purrs them like a lullaby. So dark, smooth and alluring that you find your mouth opening on its own accord.

Neteyam’s grins wider than the night that he first saw you tied up with that pretty bow. You push the implications of what you have just done to the back of your head.

Despite his satisfaction, Neteyam doesn’t take it easy on you. The length of him can never fully make it down your throat but that doesn’t stop him from trying. An obscene wet sound is made every time he thrusts back in and you can feel him shiver.

“Aww so pretty like this tiyawn. Wish you could see yourself right now.” His head throws back for a second when your airpipe contracts around him again. “Crying so sweetly for me.”

His gentle tone is a great contrast to the way his cock bullies itself into the tight space. So sweet in comparison to the way he fucks your throat like you’re his own personal fleshlight.

“Maybe we will have to steal a mirror from Bridgehead soon. Let you see what a wrecked masterpiece you are.”

Even as you struggle to breath and your throat aches, his dirty words burn the flames inside of you higher and higher. You will feel ashamed later, you know it, but for now you let him fill every crevice in your brain. It keeps the fear of Jeremy’s safety at bay. It keeps the reality of your situation from catching up with you. It keeps you as his pretty little pet that is doing oh such a good job.

“Fuck! You feel so good around me, tiyawn. Good fucking girl!” Neteyam’s groan is gravely, muscles along his abdomen erratically flexing and you know what is coming before his warning ever reaches your ears.

With a deep groan of your name, thick seed spurts down your throat. It’s too much to fully swallow but luckily Neteyam lets you off halfway through, the remnants painting your cheeks and lips. Your own thighs clench together as you watch him recover, his impressive physique inflating and deflating heavily with every breath.

Your throat feels like sandpaper as you collapse against him, head nuzzled against his hip as you cling to his right thigh. Neteyam’s fingers fondly stroke through your tangled hair as he congratulates you on learning your lesson.

You almost bite his finger when the next piece of meat passes your lips but this time it is by accident. Your habit of grinding your teeth together when nearing climax is becoming a problem. Three massive fingers tease and massage at that spongy spot inside of you as you drool around Neteyam’s fingers.

The Olo’eyktan chuckles and plucks another piece of meat to feed you.

“Remember to chew.” He says with a smirk when his thumb flicks over your clit and you almost choke.

Perched in his lap, smothering his fingers with your juices as he hand feeds you, there is surely not a better picture of obedience one could paint.

A picture that Neteyam cherishes.

But a memory you vow to forget.

I hope you enjoyed! Thank you all for your support and messages for this series especially! Hearing back from you all always makes me excited to write and update<3 Don't be afraid to let me know what you think

Taglist: @pandoraslxna @neteyamssyulang @tallulah477 @criticallybella @sullybrothersmate @lilghostiequinni @chershire23 @lala-1516 @teyamshuman @yawnetu @puddle-nerd @ratchetprime211 @avatargirly @chocolatechocobo91 @kariz-stark @bunnscoffe @avatarwifey @universal-s1ut @witchsprit @heart-an0n @riri-is-a-girlie @rivatar @minnory @ikeyniofthetayrangi @ilovehobi101 @spicymayyo @v4mp1rr3 @nilsavatar @bambithewriter @quicktosimp @itchaboi-itchyboy @thehoneymushroomhealer @ilytulipse @witchsprit @imwutim @crazy4books1 @thegirlwholoveslivesfanfiction @danniackerman @dayyzlol @justabite7 @krispyjellyfishkitty

Please let me know if I missed you or if you'd like to be removed from the list<3

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xseffort45 · 9 months

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Electrolytes and why they're important especially when water f4st!ng:

Electrolytes are electrically charged minerals, such as sodium, potassium, calcium, magnesium, chloride, bicarbonate, and phosphate. They are involved in various physiological processes.

During a water f4st, the body can lose electrolytes through various means, such as urine, sweat, and even through breathing.

Without sufficient intake of electrolytes, the body may experience imbalances that can lead to various health issues including:

muscle cramps, dizziness, weakness, irregular heartbeats, and in severe cases, even life-threatening conditions such as de4th.

Here's a breakdown of each electrolyte and its role in the body:

Sodium (Na+):

Role: Sodium is the primary extracellular cation (positively charged ion) and plays a vital role in maintaining fluid balance and blood pressure. It is essential for nerve impulse transmission and muscle function.

Source: Commonly found in table salt (sodium chloride) and many processed foods.

Potassium (K+):

Role: Potassium is the primary intracellular cation. It helps regulate fluid balance, nerve impulses, muscle contractions (including the heart), and maintains proper cellular function.

Source: Found in various fruits and vegetables, such as bananas, oranges, potatoes, and spinach.

Calcium (Ca2+):

Role: Calcium is essential for maintaining strong bones and teeth. It also plays a key role in muscle contractions, nerve transmission, blood clotting, and cell signaling.

Source: Dairy products, leafy greens, nuts, and fortified non-dairy milk.

Magnesium (Mg2+):

Role: Magnesium is involved in hundreds of enzymatic reactions in the body, including energy production, protein synthesis, muscle and nerve function, and maintaining healthy bones.

Source: Found in nuts, seeds, whole grains, leafy greens, and legumes.

Chloride (Cl-):

Role: Chloride is the major extracellular anion (negatively charged ion) and works closely with sodium to help maintain fluid balance and osmotic pressure in cells.

Source: Commonly found in table salt (sodium chloride) and many processed foods.

Bicarbonate (HCO3-):

Role: Bicarbonate is involved in regulating the body's acid-base balance (pH level) and is a crucial component of the bicarbonate buffering system.

Source: The body produces bicarbonate as part of normal metabolic processes.

Phosphate (HPO42-):

Role: Phosphate is essential for bone and teeth mineralization, energy production (adenosine triphosphate, ATP), and serves as a component of DNA and RNA.

Source: Found in various foods, including meat, dairy products, nuts, and whole grains.

To prevent these complications and support the body during a water f4st, it is crucial to supplement with electrolytes.

Many people who practice prolonged water f4st!ng or intermittent f4st!ng find it helpful to take electrolyte supplements or consume electrolyte-rich drinks to ensure they maintain proper mineral balance throughout the f4!sting period. However, it is essential to consult with a healthcare professional before starting any regimen or supplement routine, as individual needs may vary.

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milkywayan · 2 years

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tfw you see some stupid post that paints medieval peasants eating just plain grey porridge and acting as if cheese, butter or meat was too exotic or expensive for them, and have to use all your inner strength to not just reblog it with an angry rant and throwing hands with people. so i will just post the angry rant here

no, medieval people did not only eat grey porridge with no herbs or spices, they had a great variety of vegetables we dont even have anymore, grains and dairy products, not to mention fruits and meats, all seasonal and changing with the time of the year. no, medieval food was not just tasteless, maybe this will surprise some of you but you can make tasty food without excessive spice use, and can use a variety of good tasting herbs. if you'd ever tried to cook some medieval recipes you would know that. medieval people needed a lot of energy for their work, if they would only eat fucking porridge all of the time they would get scurvy and die before they could even built a civilisation. they had something called 'pottage' which was called that because it was cooked in one pot. you could leave the pot on the fire and go about your day, doing stuff and come back to a cooked meal. they put in what was available that time of the year, together with grains, peas, herbs, meat etc etc. again, if you would try to make it, like i have with my reenactment friends, it can actually be really good and diverse.

dont confuse medieval peasants with poor people in victorian england. dont think that TV shows what it was really like. dont think that dirty grey dressed people covered in filth were how the people looked like.

they made use of everything. too poor to buy proper meat? buy a sheeps head and cook it. they ate nettle and other plants we consider weeds now. they foraged and made use of what they found. hell, there are medieval cook books!

most rural people had animals, they had chickens (eggs), goats (milk and dairy), cows (milk and dairy), sheep (milk and dairy) and pigs (meat machine), and after butchering they used ALL THE PARTS of the animal. you know how much meat you can get out of a pig, even the smaller medieval breeds? the answer is a lot

if you had the space you always had a vegetable garden. there are ways to make sure you have something growing there every time of the year. as i said they had a variety of vegetables (edit: yes onions are vegetables, for those who dont seem to know) we dont have anymore due to how farming evolved. you smoked pork in the chimney, stored apples in the dry places in your house, had a grain chest. people could go to the market to buy fish and meat, both fresh and dried/smoked. they had ale, beer and wine, that was not a luxury that was a staple part of their diet.

this post ended once again up being longer than i planned, but please for the love of the gods, just actually educate yourself on this stuff and dont just say stupid wrong shit, takk

#personal #medieval #medieval europe #medievalcore #sorry for that rant but man #i hate this so much #please read a book or something #or go on youtube and look up mediev food #there are so many cool food historians on there who make stufd #and show what peiole ate

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amuromi · 8 months

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★ ₊ ⊹ ⋆˙ ┈ 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔 X ᶠ!ᴿᴱᴬᴰᴱᴿ

✦ ⋆˙ 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓 ┈ 4.0k

✦ ⋆˙ 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒 ┈ NSFW! baby fever!gojo, breeding kink, unprotected sex, established relationship, pet names (mama, baby), pull out method, oral (f!receiving), talks of having kids and starting a family, ooc!gojo(?)

✦ ⋆˙ 𝐀!𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 ┈ Gojo seems like he’d be so good with kids! He’s all but adopted Yuuji and actually adopted Megumi. That man would be a great dad.

✮ 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐒 & 𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓!! ✮

Gojo loves coming home to his apartment smelling like you. His penthouse always has a certain smell to it. Cleaning chemicals courtesy of his maid that dusts away the cobwebs while he’s out of town, and the deep floral scent of his cologne that you love so much. But underneath the artificial smell of wood polish and his signature expensive fragrance is something innately you.

He can smell your perfume and hear your voice before he’s even kicked off his shoes in the entryway, mumbling through the lyrics of some song as the apartment warms with the smell of your cooking. Gojo has isn’t much of a chef by choice, prefering to eat out or order in, and he’s never really bothered to buy proper groceries. His cabinets are filled with cereals and chips and his fridge is a rotating stock of sugary drinks and sometimes fruits if he remembers to pretend to care about a more balanced diet. Really he has people that buy food for him. His maid or someone else–he never really noticed their salaries leaving his bank account so it really doesn’t matter. They try to leave him with something proper to eat. Meat and vegetables, food that’s actually healthy. Usually he ends up tossing it as the meat spoils and the vegetables rot but you’ve decided to help yourself to whatever he has left, standing over the stove armed with a pair of tongs.

He wonders how long you’ve been here. He guesses a while since you’ve had time to make yourself comfortable and start cooking. He recognizes the shirt hanging down to your thighs as one of his, plain white and slightly worn–just the type of thing you’d like to steal from him because you like just how good he smells. It’s cute. You’re cute as you swing your hips to the song playing in your earbuds, tending to your cooking without a care in the world. He leans against the island that smells sharp and citrusy and smiles at your thoroughness. Already cleaned the counter to avoid those pesky uncooked chicken germs. You pick up each marinated piece with a gloved hand, fishing the cooked chunks out of the pan to be set aside.

It’s heart wrenchingly domestic the way you’re always so diligent in the kitchen, attention divided between so many tasks at once. Your gloved hand mixes the bowl of uncooked chicken bits, trying to spread the seasoning on every piece because you hate eating bland food, while your other hand flips the pieces sizzling in the pan. It makes Gojo want to see you occupied even further. It’s mean to want it for you when you always whine about not yet, Satoru whenever he tries to bring up the topic of kids. But, fuck he wants to come home to you just like this with a baby on your hip and another, only a year or two older, hanging onto your leg as your pregnant belly bumps against the edge of the stove. His dick jumps, thickening with excitement at the idea of you having his babies, making you a mama. You deserve it and he knows you want it, too. No matter how much you whine and squirm when he says he’s going to cum inside you.

Breathy whimpers of, Satoru, no! as you try to sound stern even when you’re bouncing on his cock, greedy pussy sucking him in as he pulls out to fill you with another deep thrust. You get to cream on his dick whenever you want, pussy frothing white rings around his base as he folds you up and fucks you good but he can’t even cum inside, not even once. He could be mean and make you take it, keep bullying your insides even after you cum until you’re crying on his cock and leaking his cum so he can laugh at the tears sparkling in your eyes.

He watches your ass bounce as you dance, oblivious to his arrival. You’ve got those little black shorts on. The kind that cling tight to your curves and he groans, eyes rolling back behind his tinted glasses. You’re torturing him on purpose, you have to be. There’s no other reason for you to look so fucking perfect right now. You reach over to pick up a piece of lettuce, chewing on the edge of the leaf as you finally catch sight of him in your periphery. He watches you startle, lettuce leaf hanging from your mouth as your eyes widen. Like a goddamn bunny caught in the sights of a wolf. Soft cheeks and bright eyes as you smile and shove the rest of the lettuce into your mouth.

“Satoru!” You beam at him like you’ve never been happier to see anyone in your life and it makes him melt, folding over the counter to groan his desperation into the cold granite. Fuck! He can imagine what your babies will look like. They’ll be chubby ’cause mama will feed them so well. Fat cheeks and pudgy little arms that’ll cling tight to you whenever you hold them. He wants to see your nose, your lips, your everything in their faces. He couldn’t care less about passing on any of his genetics when he just wants to make more little yous that reach for him when he comes home, little hands opening and closing in his direction while you smile and welcome him home just like you are now.

“I’m making chicken.” You say, half facing him so you can tend to your cooking and look at him at the same time.

“Uh huh,” he says dumbly because he’s not really listening. As sweet as it is hearing you tell him about your day he’s just focused on the shape of your lips and the way your nipples poke through the thin fabric of your–his!–shirt. He wants to get his mouth on them. Shove the shirt up under your arms so he can fill his mouth with your tits. He wants to see you squirming as you rub your thighs together, panties soaked as he tugs at your nipples. He wants to tease you with coy quips of “feels good, mama?” as he pries your legs apart so he can rub at your little clit and make you cum with his fingers in your pussy. You’ll be so good for him. Shaking and nodding, trying to muffle your voice behind your hand as you pretend you don’t like when he plays so messily with your chest, slobbering over the soft skin as his tongue flicks over the sensitive little peaks of your nipples. You like it. You love it. Always complaining but cumming the hardest when he’s messy with you. He’ll eat you out after you cum, fingers on your sore clit getting replaced with his lips as he sucks the sensitive nub into his mouth, teeth grazing softly, just enough to make you yelp and tug at his hair as he swallows down your slick.

Gojo’s hard on is nearly painful in his sweatpants but you can’t tell as you remain on the other side of the island, oblivious to the way he’s palming at himself as you complain about one of your coworkers. Something about fucking up inventory and stealing commissions.

“You can quit, mama. I’ll take care of you.” His voice is light with amusement but he’s dead serious. He knows you like working, like having something to do with your time. You have friends and a life, an apartment of your own that he absolutely loathes. Why can’t you just live here with him when he so clearly wants to spend all his time spoiling you. Spoiling the pretty little babies you’ll make with him.

“I like my job, Satoru.” You remind him as you turn off the burner and carry the food over to the island. He hopes you’ll come sit down next to him and catch him touching himself. His cock is drooling in his pants at the mere sight of you. Instead you decide to stand across from him, filling lettuce leaves with rice and chicken and pickled vegetables before shoving the huge bite in your mouth. Your cheeks fatten and he leans forward to poke them, cooing over how cute you are.

Cute mamas make cute babies and he knows yours will be tooth-rottingly adorable if you just. Let. Him.

“I can give you a new job.” He promises. “Being a mommy is a full-time job. I can make you a mama and you won’t have to worry about anybody bothering you. Promise.” He’s desperate. This isn’t the first time he’s asked and it’ll be far from the last. He won’t stop until you’re saying yes and he’s bending you over and filling you up how you deserve. You laugh, far past being annoyed that he’s so insistent. He imagines it’s hard for you not to find his desperation funny when Gojo Satoru has never wanted for anything in his life. Nothing but you, and now your babies. He wants them. He’ll wait for them.

“In a little bit, Satoru. We’ve got time, we don’t have to rush it.” But he wants to rush it. And is it really rushing if he’s been thinking about it for months. Sure, you’re young but he wants babies. Plural! He wants to have at least three of them. Maybe four or five if you’ll let him. As many as he can breed you for. He’ll fill you up until you start begging for him to pull out again every time he fucks you and then he’ll go back to pouting as his babies get older with no new additions to the family. He wants a litter, a ridiculous amount. The kind of family that needs a minivan and maybe a nanny to help manage all your little babies. He has the money, you know he does. He can afford it but you’re just so mean and patient about it. Gojo can be patient but he really doesn’t want to be when it comes to you.

He can never wait to get home to see you, can’t wait to get you in bed, can’t wait for your future together. He wants it now, now, now! but he lets you say no. Of course he does. He knows it’ll be a yes someday when you decide you’ve tortured him enough. You’ve already said you want lots of kids or else why would he even consider the thought. You’re so mean to him. Planting that thought in his head and letting it grow like a weed so now he’s always thinking about baby names and maybe buying a house with a big yard and a dog for the kids to play with.

Fuck, you drive him insane. Smiling sweetly like it isn’t your fault he’s already thinking about nursery colors and the safest model of car. He’s a bit lax with looking after himself but he’ll make damn sure to take no chances taking care of his family. He eats the food you made, legs spread to relieve some of the tension as he watches you pack the rest of the food up and put labels on each container. It makes him think about packing lunches for school and he pushes away his half eaten plate to drag you to bed.

He kisses you when you complain that he hasn’t finished his food, that he must be hungry ’cause he just got home and it makes his cock hard all over again. It went soft as he was listening to you tell a story about a rude customer while he mused about family safe pets and what to name them. That wholesomeness is gone in an instant as he sucks your tongue into his mouth, swallowing your protests as spit starts to leak from the corners of your mouth. Because how can you still be so cutely attentive when he’s been giving you pointed looks over the edge of his glasses, tongue poking into his cheek in the way he does only when he’s thinking about stripping you out of your clothes. You’re babbling about price matching and expired coupons while he’s trying his best to remind himself that he can’t knock you up and give you a new little person to take care of the moment he gets you on his dick. But fuck does he want to.

And you’re not making it any easier for him. Pawing at his shoulders and asking what’s got him so worked up like you don’t just need to exist in his proximity for his mind to start melting into thoughts of giving you his cock just the way you like. The bed is made and he knows he hadn’t done it before he left and his maid wasn’t scheduled to come through until next Wednesday. So fucking perfect. Tidying the house and making food so he’d have something nice to come home to but he’s not supposed to reward you with his cum spilling out of your little pussy? Yeah, okay.

“Need you.” He mumbles as he pushes you down on the freshly fluffed pillows. “Need you so fucking bad, mama. You’ll let me, yeah? I can have you, right, baby?” You nod, murmuring, “I’m all yours, Satoru” as he pulls your shirt over your head and shoves those tight little shorts down your thighs. You’re not wearing panties and he nearly creams in his pants at the way your puffy little pussy is already shiny with arousal. Just some kisses and sweet words and you’re already dripping for him. Gojo groans, feeling grateful to have you because who else could be this perfect for him. He tosses his glasses aside to look at you properly. All wet lips and eager smiles as you wait for him to take care of you in the way only he can. He’s sure you’re gonna kill him someday.

He gets his mouth on your tits just like he wanted, groaning at the taste of your skin as he sucks on the pert little bud. Your breath hitches and the little sound would’ve sent him to his knees if he wasn’t laid out on top of you like a weighted blanket, leg slung over your squirming thighs as he makes a mess of your tits. Licking and sucking each one until they’re both wet with his spit and you’re shaking on the edge of an orgasm. He lets you have it, looking down to watch the way your thighs tremble pitifully as your pussy clenches around nothing. It’s fucking hot and he shoves his pants down his hips just enough to squeeze at his cock, flushed a deep angry red from how long he’s been neglecting it.

Gojo groans against the plushness of your breast, breathy little pants puffing over your abandoned nipples as he jerks off like he’s never seen tits before. He cums fast, spilling over your tummy in short streaks. It’s pitiful but it takes the edge off enough for him to treat you the way you deserve. His shirt is tossed aside as he mouths at your tummy, licking up the mess he made so he can share his taste with you. He’s already half hard again as you suck on his tongue. He spits in your mouth just to hear you yelp and wiggle like you don’t get stars in your eyes when he treats you dirty. Your thighs are clenched tight, knees knocking as you try to find some relief in the meager friction. Gojo bullies your legs apart as he leaves hot, wet kisses down your body. Prints of his lips shining down your sternum and over the softness of your tummy. He takes extra time to love on it, nuzzling against you because that’s where his babies are gonna go.

He can’t wait for it. The bump of your belly and swelling of your tits. He knows you’re gonna complain–rightfully so!–about your sore back and swollen ankles and he’ll be there to coo and cajole you into being nicer to yourself as your body changes to accommodate the new life you’re growing for him. He grinds against the bed as he noses his way between your legs. Your thighs snap closed around his head as he tongues you from fluttering hole to twitching clit and he moans. All he can smell, feel, hear is you as your hips buck up into his greedy mouth.

Gojo throws an arm over your hips and you fall still immediately under his strength but he can still feel the little aborted shifts of your weight that make him laugh against your cunt. He thumbs back the hood of your clit and he makes a show of sucking hard on the little nub, watching your eyes flutter and back arch as you gush around his fingers. He doesn’t stop even as you cream on his tongue, slicking up his face with your cum. He pulls away with a lewd pop! and smacks his lips ’cause he knows how much you hate when he does that.

His smile is shiny and cruel as his fingers hook against your gummy walls, still pulsing as he drags the pads of his fingertips over that sweet spot. Your lips part but you have no breath in your lungs to make any noise and Gojo wants to spit on your tongue again, let you taste how good you were for him. He winds your body tight, not giving you a break until you’re whimpering and trying to push his hand away, tears streaming down your cheeks.

“It’s okay, mama, I got you.” He doesn’t leave you empty for even a minute, rubbing the wet head of his cock over your clit before pushing inside you with a hiss.

“Gotta let me in, baby.” He coos when you clench too tight for him to push further. It feels so good the way you’re gripping his cock but he wants to be deeper. He’s only halfway inside and he knows you can take more. You can take all of him. His thumb finds your clit even though he knows it probably hurts by now, flushed and sore as he traces smooth circles over the swollen bud.

“Satoru, s’too much!” You hiccup, trying to pry his hand away even when he’s being so purposefully gentle.

“I’m being good.” He pants. “Treating her real nice. Just gotta let me in, mama. Let me in so I can fill you up how you want.” He’s lost in his daydream, imagining finally filling you up, making you take him and grow him a little baby. His free hand pets over your belly as he tries to get deeper with each shallow thrust. And when he pops past that last bit of resistance, Gojo fucking collapses. He buries his face in your neck and goes still. It feels like he’s fucking melting with all the wet heat milking his cock and it doesn’t help that he can feel your pulse fluttering against his panting mouth, and feel your hips trying to buck against him.

“Please, please,” you pants helplessly. “Love you, please!”

“Mm, love you, too, baby. Gotta gimme a minute,” he laughs, pretending he didn’t almost break his promise and paint your insides white the second you let him all the way inside. You’re the one that wants him to be careful but you’re mewling and moving like you wouldn’t mind if he came right now, pressed right up against your cervix. He bites a bruise into your shoulder to distract himself before pulling his hips back to bully his way back inside with a deep stroke.

He’s mean about it because he’s pouting. He can’t have what he wants even though it’s so close. He won’t push his luck but he can still be upset about it as he fucks you into the bed. His tongue licks up beads of sweat as they drip down the hollows of your throat, teeth worrying bruises over your shoulder because he knows you don’t like when he leaves too many marks on your neck. He’s so nice and attentive and has you absolutely wailing, nails digging into his back as your legs lock around his waist, but he still can’t have what he wants.

“Please, mama?” He tries one last time as he feels you starting to pulse around him. Your eyes meet and he swipes a messy kiss that’s more spit and tongue than a proper kiss over your mouth before he lets you answer. It’s the same “later, Satoru!” he always gets, yet he still can’t help but be a little disappointed as his balls tighten at the feeling of you cumming on his cock with a wail. There’s a sticky sound as he pulls back, webs of wetness strung between the two of you where you’ve turned his cock white with your drooling pussy. He almost whines at the sight, pressing back inside even as you shiver because he’s so close and this warmth will only last a few moments longer. He gives you long, hard strokes that drag out the last edge of your orgasm.

“So mean.” You pout even though your legs don’t want to let him go as he pulls out. He leaves just the head inside you, stroking his soaked shaft with quick strokes. It’s a dangerous game to be playing but he thinks he’s earned it by being so patient with you. He pulls out at the absolute last second, jerking off onto your stomach because if he can’t put it in there he can at least mark where he wants it to go.

“Right here, baby.” He groans, leaning over you with one hand on your waist while the other squeezes every last drop of cum from his cock. “That’s where I’m gonna put ’em. That’s where all my cute babies are gonna go, right, mama?” He smiles and he knows it’s patronizing but you’re all too happy to indulge him.

“Yeah,” you push your hand in beside his as he thumbs at your stomach. “Yeah, right there. I’ll keep ’em in there for you, baby.”

“Yeah, you will.” You promised. Someday. Not never, just not right now. He’s still impatient but post-nut clarity has sort of straightened his head out as he curls up next to you. He bats your hand away when you try to wipe the mess of his cum off your tummy.

“It’s gross.” You complain just like he knew you would but you don’t try again. His room has lost the scent of cleaning chemicals and cologne as the smell of sex seeps into every crevice. He can smell your sweat and the scent of your cunt and he’s content to go to sleep without changing the soiled sheets. He’s almost there, lulled by the even sound of your breathing but he still gets up to get you water and a washcloth. He hums in sympathy as you squirm while he cleans the mess between your legs, swiping through your sensitive folds with a careful attentiveness. He stares at the dry mess of his cum on your skin for a little while longer before wiping that away too. You sip your water and remind him to go finish eating and he nearly pops a boner again because you really don’t know how to turn off your charm.

“Later. Promise I’ll eat later. Jus’ wanna lay with you right now.” He murmurs and slings his leg back over yours. You’re both naked now and slightly sticky from all the sweat but he clings to you anyway. Your fingers find his hair, nails brushing over his scalp gently as you go back to humming. Gojo can’t tell if you’re doing it on purpose or if you’re singing absently to yourself but he can’t help but imagine what it’ll be like to watch you sing lullabies to your babies. Yeah, later can’t come soon enough.

#gojo ★#gojo smut #gojo x reader smut #gojo x reader #jjk smut #★ mine!

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ms-demeanor · 5 months

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hi! i’ve been following you for a bit and seen you post abt taking nutrition courses, and i was wondering if you could talk about how you found/vetted your program? i have a community-oriented foodservice job and i’m interested in learning more about nutrition, but i know there’s a lot of dubious stuff/outright pseudoscience in the field so i’m wary of just signing up for the nearest/cheapest class.

So if you're looking at doing nutrition in a serious academic in the US way you need to take courses in an ACEND accredited program; there is an industry compliance standard that is required for RDs/RDNs so I started from there and worked backwards. I looked at state schools in my area that had programs on that list, then looked at community colleges in my area. California has pretty strict rules about accredited community colleges and state colleges in terms of what is transferable and transfer-ability is one of the better markers of a program that is not hot garbage. The school that I'm currently at has a program that complies with the Cal State requirements for an AS-T (Associates of Science Transfer) degree for Nutrition. There's another nearby school that has a more comprehensive program that offers both an AS-T and further lower-division nutrition classes.

If you're not thinking about becoming an RD/RDN (which at this point requires an MS in nutrition, a 10-month internship, and board certification) but want to learn more, I'd still say that working backwards works and you will likely be well served by seeing which schools in your area have an accredited program, which community colleges - if any - they accept transfers from, and signing up for basic classes.

If you're interested in doing an online class, it looks like there's a free class (the audit option is free) on basic nutrition offered through EdX from UC Riverside - this course outline looks very similar to basic nutrition classes I've taken.

The thing is that in some ways nutrition is pretty simple; there are essential nutrients, we need to make sure to get enough of them, a lot of people don't get enough of them, and most people's nutrition can be improved by eating a varied diet that includes many fruits and vegetables with sugar and some kinds of fats in moderation (but everyone needs protein, carbohydrates, and fats as part of their diet).

In other ways nutrition is tremendously complicated, highly specific to individuals, and people look at it as a silver bullet to solve all problems. And the really frustrating thing is that if you've got certain kinds of issues (celiac disease being one example that I'm intimately familiar with) then proper nutrition IS actually a silver bullet. But it's not a silver bullet for, say, heart disease or diabetes (both of which *interact* with the foods a person consumes, but are likely not purely caused by food consumption and may not be significantly mediated by nutritional care alone).

And that makes it a field ripe for charlatans!

But if you're doing community-oriented food service specifically i think that you're probably going to do well looking into programs for nutrition for public health and looking at accredited local schools. If you can't do that, check on what's available from schools that are ACEND accredited but have online classes through stuff like EdX - the UC Riverside program falls into that category, and there were classes from Arizona State University - which has a really widely known, accredited, and popular nutrition program - in that same category.

But. Yeah. I'm sorry. The field is kind of a nightmare and huge chunks of it are very misleading and even if you're looking at well vetted stuff there's going to be some garbage and it's going to depend a lot on the age of the program and how long people have been teaching in that program. It's a mess! It's a fascinating mess but it's a mess nonetheless!

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tuhbanbuv · 10 months

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If you’re starting a garden and have little to no proper materials, I’ve got stuff for you.

All you need is

Groceries such as fruit or vegetables that have visible seeds. Even apples; just gather as many as possible just in case one doesn’t work.

Solo cups, coffee filters or metal tins such as tuna or coffee tins. Anything that can be used as a container really.

Ziploc bags

Hairties

Any light source that emits heat. Maybe even just a window will do.

Take some soil from either store bought bags or backyard, pour it into the container of your choice. Make sure the container has a hole in the bottom to drain excess water to avoid root rot/drowning the seeds.

Take out seeds from any fruit or vegetable groceries to plant. You can germinate them by placing them in a ziploc bag with a damp paper towel and tape it to a window that gets sun until they start sprouting or you can just plant them in. Plant as many as you can into one container to ensure at least one grows. It’s plant material anyways so it won’t really harm the crop.

You can actually use the excess fruit and vegetable for compost if you want! Food waste like eggshells and used coffee grains are actually really good for the soil, so if you can add that gradually or mix it in with the soil beforehand, that will help plant growth.

Next, prepare a shelf or area to put the lights of your choice. Water the potted seedlings before slipping the ziploc bags over the containers, securing them with a hair tie each. Once the inside of the bag starts to get foggy and damp, it’s humid and works as a makeshift greenhouse!

I’ve tried this so far with pumpkins and now I have several feet of pumpkin plants with several pumpkin fruit. So I guess it works. If you don’t have too much time to garden though, you can try chaos gardening; basically getting old seeds and chucking them out in a certain area and hoping for the best. This is actually good for the environment, as growing the same thing over and over in the same place actually ruins the soil as opposed to the viability of random seeds!

Hope this helps in any gardening endeavors!

#gardening #solarpunk #chaos gardening

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idanceuntilidie · 5 months

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I get so hugry when you say you love me.

yandere male x gn reader.

Tw: Yandere behaviours| Mentions of kidnapping| Cannibalism| Slightly suggestive at only one point.

Requests open

It took me longer to write than I thought it would honestly and it’s not even that long. Sorry for that.

Now if you excuse me Im gonna eat a bowl of cereal and yes that is my dinner.

Turns out there is not many things you can do without your limbs.

Your eyes wandered lazily around the bright pink ceiling, you were hungry and bored. You don’t remember how many days Gummy kept you in his house.

No internet, no tv, music was allowed only on CDs or cassettes but you would only be able to listen to it when he was in the room with you. The room itself was, heavily decorated.

Very scene, very cool, you would appreciate it more if you didn’t spend most of your time laying down and being held against your will. Surround by pillows and plushies, on a huge ass bed.

Gummy took care of you. He made sure you were dressed up so nicely. He liked to talk about how when he was younger he had so many dolls and he could dress them up.Then he would look into your eyes and smile, you saw the same crazed look every time, then he would say that you are like a doll now. So pretty and his. It was easy to guess that he would do little fashion shows with you. From dresses to suits. He bought them just for you. Right now you wore very loose clothing that you are sure was his, you could tell by the smile and how… excited he got.

He rarely went out of the house. He fears that somehow you would leave him.

How the fuck would you even do that? Your legs and arms were chopped off. The worst part is that sometimes you still can feel them, sometimes it’s quick, other time you feel the burning sensation which makes you cry out.

So Gummy made sure not to leave the house all that much, when he trusts you more maybe, just maybe he will.

Groceries were kind of hard to get.

Your diet mainly consisted of fruits, vegetables. After some time you might get sick of those. The taste would get bland and well it made you sometimes want to throw up.

Currently you were waiting for the dinner, by waiting you mean you were laying on your back because moving without limbs was actually really hard for you. He promised that today he would prepare something great.

You hoped that maybe today he would give you an actual dinner.

And he did, it looked too good to be true.

“Hi sunshine! Sorry for taking so long I wanted your first proper dinner to be perfect!”

You heard him giggle.

He helped you sit up and you looked over his shoulder to see such a beautiful food behind him. Finally no more fruits. He hummed as he went to bring up the plate.

It smelled so good, you were a bit taken back since you didn’t know he would be able to cook anything else than water.

He began to feed you, it still was in fact so embarrassing every single time.

You chewed slowly, looking away from him. He laughed happily when he saw you enjoyed his cooking. It didn’t take you long to finish, Gummy put the plate away and basically pounced on you. You shrieked when he playfully licked your lips saying how good you taste like.

“I just ate that means you are just tasting your own fucking cooking!”

“Yea I know”

You tried to bite him, it only made him chuckle and grab your face.

“You taste amazing, my point still stands, and your meat was so easy to prepare you would have never guessed.”

“What the fuck do you mean ‘my meat’?”

He let go of your face. He smiled eerily while he tapped the nub of your arm.

“The rest is for me, I will have a part of you inside me! Isn’t that romantic?”

Your stomach squeezed painfully, eyes widening. Did he.. Oh God. You felt the vomit it your mouth, Gummy laughed as he pinched your nose and covered your mouth.

“You better swallow and not waste my cooking.”

You didn’t want to, eyes blurring due to lack of oxygen. You didn’t want to, but when your eyes locked with his, hot tears streaming down your face, he just smiled.

#yandere oc gummy #yandere male #yandere male oc #yan oc #yan male #male oc #male yandere #x gn reader #gn reader #oc yandere #yandere #yandere x darling #yandere oc #tw yandere #yandere blog #yandere x gn reader #male yandere x gn darling #male yandere x gn reader #male reader

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somethingclevermahogony · 12 days

Text

A Recipe for Daropaka and a Korithian Meal

Hello everyone! (More than) A few days ago I said that, as a way to celebrate reaching 200 followers that I would make one of the dishes from the setting of my WIP. I did something similar for 100 followers which you can see here. This time around I put up a poll to see what dish you all would like to see based on the favorite dishes of my OCs. You voted for Otilia's favorite food, a cheesecake (Daropaka) from the land of Korithia.

However because I felt a bit bad about how long it took me to get to this and because I needed to make something for dinner anyway, I prepared an entire Korithian meal, specifically the last dinner Otilia ate before she left her homeland.

I will give a short description and some history for each component of the meal and will also provide recipes. These recipes come specifically from the Korithian city-state of Kalmanati.

BIG POST ALERT

The diet of Korithians is highly reliant on cereals, grapes, and olives. Barley is the most commonly consumed cereal and is used in the bread of most commoners. However, Kalmanati is famed for the quality of its wheat, and particularly among the wealthy, wheat is the cereal grain of choice. Legumes (Lentils, peas, vetch, beans, etc), vegetables (Cabbage, carrots, lettuce, seaweeds, artichokes, asparagus, onions, garlic, cucumber, beets, parsnips, etc.) and fruits/nuts (pomegranate, almond, fig, pear, plum, apple, dates, chestnuts, beechnuts, walnuts, rilogabo(Kishite regalu "Sunfruit"), bokigabo (Kishite botagalu "Northern fruit), etc.) also make up a significant portion of the Korithian diet, with meat (Cattle, lamb, pig, goat, goose, duck, horned-rabbit, game) and fish typically filling a relatively minor role except for in the diets of wealthy individuals (like Otilia).

Vinegar, oil, and garlic appear in almost all Korithian dishes and are an essential aspect of the Korithian palate.

Recipes below the cut!

The components of the meal are as follows:

Daropaka: (Korithian: Daro = cheese, paka = cake)

Karunbarono: (Korithian: Karun = meat, baro = fire (barono = roasted) )

Pasrosi Diki: (Korithian: Pasrosi = fish(es), Diki = small)

Psampisa : (Korithian: Psamsa = bread, episa = flat)

Akuraros : (Korithian: Akuraros = cucumber)

Ewisasi : (Korithian: Ewisasi = olives)

Funemikiwados: (Korithian: Funemiki = hill (mountain diminutive), wados = oil/sauce)

Wumos: (Korithian: Wumos = wine)

Daropaka aka Awaxpaka aka Korithian Cheesecake

Daropaka is a popular dessert in Korithia, however its origins predate Korithia by several thousand years.

The dish originates from a race of forestfolk living on the Minosa, known as the Awaxi. The Awaxi were a tall and powerful race, some rivaling even demigods in size. Aside from their size the Awaxi were also easily identifiable by the third eye which sat on their forehead and the porcupine like quills which grew from their shoulders, sometimes called the Awaxi mantle.

The Awaxi were a primarily pastoralist civilization, living in small semi-temporary communities where they raised cattle and goats. They are credited with inventing cheese.

The first humans that the Awaxi came into contact with were the Arkodians. The Arkodians introduced the Awaxi to metallurgy, and in exchange the Arkodians were given knowledge of the cheesemaking process. This early form of cheese was called darawa (Korithian: Daro) and was typically made from cow's milk and vinegar, the resulting cheese being soft and crumbly, similar to a ricotta.

Unfortunately peace would not last. The Awaxi settled disagreements and debates often through duels, rather than through war. While quite skilled duelists, their culture had no reference for strategy in battle and lacked the proper skills to fend off the organized assault from imperialistic Arkodians. The Awaxi were eventually driven to extinction, though they still appear as monsters in Korithian myth.

The Arkodians themselves would later fall, destroyed by the Kishites, however many of their recipes, including their recipe for cheesecake, would be passed down to their descendants, the Korithians.

Recipe

(Note that Korithia has no distinct set of measurements nor are recipes recorded. Recipes are typically passed down orally and differ greatly between regions and even families. Adjust ingredients to one's own liking) (Also note that this is not like a modern cheesecake, as it utilizes a ricotta like cheese the texture will not be as smooth and it doesn't use eggs as chickens have not yet been introduced to Korithia)

The Cheese

1/2 Gallon of Whole Cow or Goats Milk

1 Pinch of Sea Salt

2 Bay leaves

2 Tablespoons of White Vinegar

1 Large Ripe Pear

6 Tablespoons Honey

2 Tablespoons White Wheat Flour

1 Tablespoon Rilogabo Juice (substitute 1:1 Orange and Lemon juice)

The Crust

1 Cup White Wheat flour

Water, Warm

1 Pinch of Sea salt

The Topping

1 Sprig Rosemary

3 tablespoon honey

2 tablespoon rilogabo juice (see above)

1 Large pear (optional)

Fill a pot with milk. Stir in salt and add bay leaves. Heat over medium heat until milk registers around 190 F, do not allow to boil. Look for slight foaming on the surface, when the temperature has been reached, remove the bay leaves and add vinegar, the curds will begin to form immediately, stir to fully incorporate vinegar without breaking curds. Stop.

Take the pot off of the heat and cover, allow it to sit for 15 minutes.

Using cheesecloth, a fine mesh strainer or both, separate the curds from the whey. Allow the curds to cool and drain off excess liquid.

Preheat the oven to 410 F or 210 C. Grease the bottom and sides of an 8 inch cake pan with olive oil.

While cheese is draining, make the crust. Knead the white wheat flour with a pinch of salt and warm water for about 15-20 minutes, until obtaining a smooth consistency. Roll a thin circular sheet larger than the cake pan. Lay the dough inside, trim off any dough which hangs over the edge of the pan.

Skin and seed 1 large pear, using either a mortar and pestle or a food processor, break the pear down into a paste or puree, there should be no large visible chunks.

Combine drained cheese, 6 tbsp honey, pear puree, flour, and rilogabo juice. Using a food processor or other implement combine ingredients until a smooth texture is achieved. Taste and add honey accordingly

Pour the mixture into the pan, careful not to exceed the height of the crust. Top with a sprig of rosemary and place into the oven.

Cook for 25-30 minutes or until the filling has set and the surface is golden.

Make the topping by combining 3 tablespoons of honey and the remaining rilogabo juice.

Remove cake from the oven and pour the topping over the surface. Allow the cake to cool

Serve warm, cold, or room temperature with fresh fruit.

Karunbarono aka Roasted Meat

Cooking meat on skewers is a staple of Korithian cuisine, so much so that in certain regions the metal skewers or kartorosi, can be used as a form of currency. Meat is typically cooked over an open fire or on portable terracotta grills, though it is not unheard of to use a large beehive shaped oven or baros. The majority of the meat eaten by the lower classes comes in the form of small game such as rabbit or sausages made from the scraps of pork, beef, mutton, poultry, and even seafood left after the processing of more high-class cuts. The chicken has not yet been properly introduced to the islands, though some descendants of pre-Calamity chickens do exist, though they in most cases have drastically changed because of wild magic. Animals are rarely eaten young, lambs for example are almost never eaten as their potential for producing wool is too valuable. Most animals are allowed to age well past adulthood, except for in special circumstances. The practice of cooking meat in this style is prehistoric stretching back far before Korithia or Arkodai. What is newer however is the practice or marinading the meat before cooking it, this is a Korithian and later Kishite innovation.

Recipe

1 lb Mutton (meat used in this recipe), beef, lamb, venison, or horned-rabbit meat (in order to achieve this it is suggested to use wild hare meat in combination with pork fatback) chopped into bite sized pieces

4 Tablespoons Plain Greek Yogurt

4 Tablespoons Dry Red wine (Any dry red will work, for this recipe I used a Montepulciano d'abruzzo but an Agiorgitiko would work perfectly for this)

3 Tablespoons Olive Oil

4 Cloves of Garlic roughly chopped

1 Small onion roughly chopped

1 sprig fresh thyme

1 sprig fresh rosemary

1 tsp sea salt

1 tsp black pepper

1/2 tsp ground cumin

Gather and measure ingredients

Combine everything into a large bowl and stir, making sure that all pieces of meat are covered in the marinade.

Cover and allow meat to sit, preferably in the fridge for 2 hours or up to overnight.

Well the meat is marinating, if using wooden or bamboo skewers, soak in water for at least one hour to prevent burning.

Preheat the oven to 400 F or roughly 205 C. Or if cooking an open fire, allow an even coal bed to form.

Remove meat from the fridge, clean off excess marinade including any chunks of garlic or onion

Place meat tightly onto the skewers making sure that each piece is secure and will not fall off.

Brush each skewer with olive oil and additional salt and pepper to taste, optionally add a drizzle of red wine vinegar.

Place on a grate either in the oven with a pan below it to catch drippings or else over the fire. Allow to cook for 10-20 minutes depending on how well you want your meat cooked (less if using an open fire) Check every five minutes, flipping the meat after each check.

Remove from the oven and serve immediately.

Pasrosi Diki aka Little Fishes

Despite living by the sea, fish makes up a surprisingly small part of most Korithians' diet. The most valuable fish typically live far away from shore, where storms and sea monsters are a serious threat to ships. Much of the fish that is eaten are from smaller shallow water species, freshwater species, or shellfish. Tuna, swordfish, sturgeon, and ray are considered delicacies, typically reserved for the wealthy. Marine mammals such as porpoise are eaten on rare occasions, typically for ceremonial events. Pike, catfish, eel, sprats, sardines, mullet, squid, octopus, oysters, clams, and crabs are all consumed by the poorer classes. Sprats and sardines are by far the most well represented fish in the Korithian diet, typically fried or salted, or even ground and used in sauces. This particular recipe makes use of sprats. Unlike their neighbors in Baalkes and Ikopesh, Korithians rarely eat their fish raw with the exception of oysters.

Recipe

(Note that unlike modern recipes using whitebait, these are not breaded or battered as this particular cooking art has not yet been adopted in Korithia, though it is in its infancy in parts of Kishetal)

10-15 Sprats (other small fish or "whitebait" can also be used)

2 quarts of olive oil (not extra virgin)

Sea salt to taste

Black Pepper to Taste

Red Wine Vinegar to taste

Gather ingredients

Inspect fish, look for fish with clear eyes and with an inoffensive smell, avoid overly smelly or damaged fish.

Pour olive oil into a cast iron skillet or other high sided cooking vessel and heat to approximately 350 F or 177 C.

Fry the fish in batches of 5, stirring regularly to keep them from sticking. Cook for 2-4 minutes until the fish have started to crisp. Be careful, some fish may pop and spit.

Remove fish from the oil and allow them to drain.

Season fish with salt, pepper, and vinegar and serve.

Psampisa aka Flatbread

There are many varieties of bread eaten in Korithia and grain products make up anywhere from 50 to 80 percent of an average individuals diet. This particular variety of bread is most popular in the southern and eastern portions of Korithia, whereas a fluffier yeasted loaves are more commonly eaten in the west and north. This recipe is specifically made with wheat but similar breads can also be made with barley or with mixtures. If you do not want to make this bread yourself it can be substituted with most pita breads. Bread is served with every meal and some meals may feature multiple varieties of bread.

(Note for this recipe I only had self-raising flour at hand which gives a slightly puffier bread, if this is what you want add roughly 3 tsps baking powder)

Recipe

2 1/2 cups white wheat flour plus more for surface

1 1/2 teaspoons sea salt

1 cup whole fat greek yogurt

Olive oil for cooking

In a large bowl, mix together the flour, salt and baking powder. Add the yogurt and combine using a wooden spoon or hands until well incorporated

Transfer the dough to a lightly floured surface and knead by hand for 5 minutes until the dough feels smooth.

Cover the dough and allow to sit for approximately 20 minutes

Separate dough into desired number of flatbreads.

Add flour to each dough ball with your hands and then use a rolling pin to flatten out the dough on a lightly floured surface. Size is up to taste.

Heat a pan on medium high heat. Add the olive oil and cook the flatbreads one at a time for about 2-4 minutes, depending on thickness, per side until the bread is puffed and parts of it has become golden brown.

Akuraros aka Cucumber (Salad)

While the cucumber has become a relatively popular crop within Korithian agriculture it is not native and was all but unknown to their Arkodian predecessors. Cucumbers, which actually originated in Sinria and Ukar, were introduced by Kishite invaders during the Arko-Kishite war and were subsequently adopted by the survivors of that conflict. Cucumbers are associated with health and in particular with fertility. Cucumbers are typically eaten raw or pickled. They may be used in salads or even in drinks, ground into medicinal juices. Cucumbers are additionally believed to ward off disease carrying spirits and may be hung outside of the doors of sick individuals to ward off evil entities. Cucumbers are also fed to learning sages, as they are believed to strengthen the resolve and spirit. A potion consisting of the magical herbs wumopalo and lisapalo, wine, and cucumber juice has historically been used to temporarily induce in non-sages the ability to see spirits. Dill is additionally believed to produce positive effects, thought to ward of diseases of the stomach and cancers. Dill is often used in potions which may effect the physical nature of an individual, these potions are rarely used as their effects are most often permanent to some extent.

This particular cucumber salad recipe is a favorite in the region around Kalmanati, Bokith.

Recipe

1 large cucumber cleaned

2 cloves garlic roughly chopped

2 tablespoons fresh dill chopped

1/3 cup red wine vinegar

1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil

Salt to taste

Pepper to taste

Cumin to taste

Cut cucumber into thin slices (the actual width will vary dependent on taste)

Combine cucumber and all other ingredients in a non-reactive container and mix.

Cover and store the salad for at least 30 minutes and up to 12 hours.

Serve cold

Ewisasi aka Olives

The Ewasi or olive is in many ways the center of Korithian cuisine, as it is also in Baalkes and Knosh. Olive oil is used regularly and the olive fruit is consumed at all meals of the day including dessert. Olives are cured via the use of water, vinegar, brines, or dry salt in order to remove their innate bitterness. There are hundreds of varieties of olive in Korithia alone, their taste dependent on when they are harvested, how they are cured, the particular cultivar, and even the soil in which they are grown. Kalmanati is best known for two varities of olive, the kalmi, which is red fleshed and meaty, typically cured in red wine vinegar, and the prasiki, a small green olive which is firm and slightly nutty in flavor.

Recipe

Take your favorite olives, put them in a bowl. Optionally add vinegar and herbs

Funemikiwados aka Hill Sauce

Hill sauce is the condiment of choice for most Korithian households and the exact nature of the sauce will vary greatly from region to region. In the north it is most often composed of pine nuts, olive oil, onion, vinegar, salt, and garlic. In the south the sauce is typically far more marine in nature, composed of seaweed, fish, garlic, olive oil, and vinegar. In all cases the ingredients are combined and mashed or ground to produce a pourable/dipable sauce. The sauce itself originates from the center of Korithia around the city of Bokakolis. The sauce was originally used by shepherds to flavor dried meats which may otherwise be dry or flavorless. Its name derives from the ingredients used within these early versions of the sauce, many of which were herbs plucked from the hillside while the shepherds tended to their flocks. The Kalmanatian version of the sauce is similar to this original herb based variety however it adds salt-cured fish and tisparos (Tisi - tickle, paros- seed) , another Kishite import (there it is called lisiki). This sauce is often used with practically any savory food, poured on meat, fish, vegetables, and bread. Often a house may be judged by the quality of their funemikiwados. Among the Kalmanatians there is two varieties of the sauce, a fresh version (the one described here) and another which is typically made with dried herbs and has additional vinegar added to act as a sort of preservative.

Recipe

1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil

1/3 cup red wine vinegar

2 tbsps rilogabo juice (1:1 orange and lemon)

2 anchovies (or other small salt-cured fish)

1/4 cup fresh chopped dill

1/6 cup fresh chopped parsley

1/8 cup fresh chopped thyme

6-10 leaves of fresh chopped rosemary

2-3 leaves fresh basil

2 cloves of garlic

Black pepper to taste

Ground tisparos to taste (Substitue ground sichuan pepper)

Gather the ingredients.

Combine and grind anchovies, garlic, and herbs into a fine paste, using a mortar and pestle or with a food processor.

Combine the herb paste ialong with the rest of the other ingredients and mix until completely incorporated.

Allow to sit at least 30 minutes, allowing for flavors to develop and properly incorporate with each other.

Serve with meat or fish

Wumos aka Wine

Wine in Korithia predates both the Korithians and the Arkodians, and had already been developed by several cultures on the islands including the Awaxi mentioned earlier. Wine is one of the most commonly consumed beverages, only surpassed by water, and slightly more common than psamarla, a Korithian version of unfiltered beer. Wine has many social, religious, and economic uses and is essential in the trade of the plantbrew, making up the base of many kinds of potion. There are many varieties of wine, with some being viewed as better or worse than others. Red wine is typically preferred for later in the day as it is believed that it helps to induce sleep while white wine is preferred for the morning and afternoon. Wine is typically watered down at a ratio of 2 parts water to 1 part wine, this may be either with plain or salted water. Unwatered wine is saved for special occasions and certain religious ceremonies in which intoxication is the goal. Wine may be sweetened with honey, figs, or various fruit juices. Herbs and spices such as black pepper, tisparos, coriander, saffron, thyme, and even cannabis and opium and various magical herbs may be added to change the flavor of the wine and to promote other effects.

Recipe

Pick a wine that you like and put it in a glass or cup. You can water it down if you would like but I didn't because I am not Korithian and this was a special occasion.

I finally got this post done! If you decided to read through this whole thing, thank you! Let me know if you try any of these, most of these amounts are ultimately a matter of taste, you can change things and experiment if you want.

Now we'll see if I get to 300 followers and we'll do this all over again with the food from another part of the Green Sea.

Thank you all again for following me, I've really enjoyed sharing my WIP with y'all!

@patternwelded-quill , @skyderman , @flaneurarbiter , @jclibanwrites , @alnaperera, @rhokisb, @blackblooms , @lord-nichron , @kosmic-kore , @friendlyshaped , @axl-ul , @talesfromtheunknowable , @wylanzahn , @dyrewrites , @foragedbonesblog , @kaylinalexanderbooks , @mk-writes-stuff , @roach-pizza

#fantasy food #writeblr #writing #worldbuilding #fantasy #testamentsofthegreensea #fantasy writing #world building #creative writing #story writing #200 followers #thank you guys so much!#fantasy world

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bubbles-for-all-of-us · 11 months

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Rowan with a pregnant mate☺️

He’d just be so overprotective I’m living for it

Also I feel like the rest of the cadre would be so involved and protective as well bc that’s their baby niece/nephew!

Oh I liked this...

Dad to be

Let's get one thing straight - Rowan would be petrified and I doubt that would even cut it. I think the moment the word "I'm carrying your babe", would leave your mouth he would go pale. That male has seen some raw, brutal battles and walked out unfazed by it but those four words make him forget how to breathe for a moment.

Without a doubt, the first thing Rowan would picture would be Lyria's lifeless, brutalized body. That not that long ago was full of life and carried their unborn child as well. Now instead of her face it's you who lays their dead. And Rowan is pushed face-first into the same suffering that he thought had healed decades ago.

"Rowan", you would mutter all scared, thinking that this was indeed something that he never wanted. He had only mentioned Lyria scarcely to you and you had respected that but now you knew that this had opened the door Rowan never wanted to open again.

I think he wouldn't say anything. He would reach for you though. Pulling you closer to him so you could stand between his legs and he could rest his hand on your still mostly flat stomach. His heart aches that much more when he picks up on the baby's heartbeat.

That night Rowan would sleep with you tightly pressed against his chest while his hand resting on your stomach.

And when I tell you that overnight he would snap into a father role, I mean it. I doubt you would have a proper conversation straight away because he would need time to process but you would be woken up with two trays of food on the side of the bed, full of fresh vegetables and fruits of all sorts. And you best believe that you ain't getting out of bed until he sees you at least take a bite of half of the things in front of you.

When the morning sickness hits, he is by your side through it all. Never have you spent a moment bent over a toilet by yourself. Rowan is always there, cooler hands soothing the nausea. A gentle breeze of wind hits your damp forehead, as he mutters all sorts of praise for you.

There's no way in hiding the pregnancy as well. Gavriel would know before even you knew of it, old enough to sense it and feel it in the first days in my humble opinion. And Fenrys is too noisy so he would just splatter a question of why your sent had shifted.

They would be delighted. It's the first baby to enter the family so you best believe they are already fighting over who would be loved the most.

I also doubt that Rowan would be territorial around others. Sure, they might earn a snare if they got too close or smothered you too long but he would feel a sense of peace knowing that he has the best worries protecting you as well. Because he knows that they would rather die than let you get harmed, knowing that Fenrys pulled a sword at a caterpillar who fell onto the picnic blanket.

With your bump getting bigger Rowan would get more and more cuddly. You always were a rather affectionate couple but now there isn't a moment he isn't touching you in some way. Side hugs, hugs from the back, you on his lap, him reaching for your hand. He needs you close. Hearing both of your heartbeats is all that he needs.

And I think eventually, one night, with you both cuddled up together beneath the furs Rowan would finally admit how scared he is and how if something was to happen he would want to die himself this time around. There was no way he could go through losing the most important people in his life.

"But we are here. I want you to live in the moment. Experience this", you would mutter, pressing your hands onto his. He would nuzzle his face deeper into the crook of your neck, "I love you both but...", "No, buts, we are here and now, and we are well".

And Rowan let himself believe that for the first time. That he was going to get his happy ever after. Because a father. Watch his child grow beside you. And for the first time, he let himself smile, truly, from within his heart.

#rowan whitethorn x reader #rowan whitethorn #rowan x reader #rowan imagine #thrown of glass imagine #throne of glas x reader #tog x reader #tog imagine #lorcan salvaterre #fenrys moonbeam #gavriel #cadre

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nathandrakeisabottom · 5 months

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Yesss please sam drake food/eating hcs?? Fave meals, hated meals, etc

It is with great joy and great belatedness that I post my first Uncharted piece in ages. Thank you for the lovely ask, anon. :)

⋆ Sam Drake - Eating Headcanons ⋆

Two words: scarcity mindset.

After running away from Saint Frances’s, to claim money was tight is to be telling some humorous bit, Money was borderline non-existent. And as such, came what the Drake boys do best: theft.

Liquor stores were their easiest, and most consistent source. Sam still takes great pride in telling his many stories revolving around ‘cashier meet-cutes’ disguising their proudest heist to date: a 12-year-old Nathan smuggling canned goods under a moth-holed hoodie.

Because of this, gas station snacks: twinkies, Lays chips, slurpees, etc. all tend to give him this simultaneous sense of nostalgia and nausea. Like when you’re eating eggs and all of a sudden, your body gags on the next bite.

But on an especially shitty day, expect him to be gobbling a Big Gulp and a half-frozen hot dog on the nearest street corner, with a half-smoked cigarette still sunken between his lips. It’s the way he wallows.

Secretly wants you to tell him how bad that shit is for him so he has an excuse to snottily spat back “who the ‘ell cares?”. He finds pride in not caring about anything. (He cares about everything.)

Getting fast food at the drive-thru? Man waves you off a total of three times claiming he doesn’t want nothing before proceeding to eat half of your McNuggets without asking. He loves BBQ sauce and needs Tabasco on everything like it’s his will to live.

Big fan of spicy, sour, and tart, anything that makes your mouth pucker. Pretzels, salt and vinegar chips, cottage cheese, pickles, pineapple (😉). “What can I say? I admire a fruit that fights back!” — he snorts before taking a raw bite of a lemon, just to squirm you out.

Maybe a bit of the masochist in him.

When he and Nate were able to get proper gigs (12-year-old Nathan: illegally, of course), they were able to progress to the simplest of grocery outlet options. Eggs, instant ramen packets, canned vegetables that were 9 out of 10 times eaten raw out of the can with a fork, and more nothing-but-toast-for-dinner than they’d want to admit).

Sam and Nate spent most of their childhood eating their dad’s scrambled eggs and microwaved peas. When their mom passed, and dad released them to the state, Sam decided he’d only ever eat over-easy again.

Nate still chooses scrambled. He asks for cheese and green onions to split the difference, but always ends up only eating half of it before the memories come too strong and he has to push his plate away.

QUICK eater. MESSY eater. And I mean quick and messy.

Will use as minimal cutlery as possible, and if disposable, even better.

A scooper. Tends to be a chronic careless spiller with how frequently he tries to funnel all the last crumbs into his mouth, how quickly he chugs even a glass of water. (Most shirts of his are stained as a result.)

Tends to wait till the last possible moment to eat or drink anything. Breakfast basically doesn’t exist to him.

Spills more beverage down his chin and shirt than his mouth (but a wet t-shirt certainly isn’t the worst thing to happen. Especially not to Samuel Drake. ;)

Pizza order: Meat Lover’s with extra sausage. Maybe some green bell peppers when he finally compromises with Nate during movie night.

Never, ever orders (well, non-alcoholic) drinks when eating out. And only water when he finally lets himself cave. Otherwise, he’s stealing sips from the nearest patron’s Jarrito bottle (his favorite is Tamarind).

Doesn’t bother cleaning up his fruit peels or peanut shells, even around others. That shit’s going on the floor without a second look.

Surprisingly, a king and natural on the BBQ. Despite having so little in their childhood, Sam still tried to go hard on the holidays for Nathan’s sake. Fourth of July is still Nate’s favorite holiday exclusively because of Sam’s public park-smoked ribs and the long, bumpy motorcycle ride up the highest hill in whatever city they were currently loitering in, just to see the fireworks.

A dive bar master. Nate always orders whatever grease-covered appetizer they got in the back. Sam purposely keeps his stomach empty so there’s more room for whiskey. (Since nobody asked, incredible at pool, and will offer any woman in a twenty foot circumference a lesson. Cue the leaning chest over back, cue stick fantasy.)

A love language that was a total surprise to him is his partner cooking/baking something just for him, especially if it’s from scratch. Gets that rare, soft look in his eyes as he watches them carefully place each steaming plate onto the table. And trust, he’s not looking at the food when it happens.

Loves his partner in an apron. Like… loves his partner in an apron.

Make him food, and as soon as it’s eaten, he’s eating you after. ;)

When he finally settles down post-Madagascar, it’s a fucking struggle to get him to go grocery shopping at all for the first few months.

Self-punishment, maybe.

Nathan buys them himself instead and leaves them on the porch of Sam’s trailer park home when he’s too depressed to answer the door.

Basically has to be forced to eat actual meat and vegetables. For the first few months, he reverts and eats only familiar prison food. The same single pot of chili/beans for a whole week, half portions only for each meal. Uncooked canned carrots. Microwave popcorn when Nathan calls him asking if he’s eaten, and when Sam lies, it sounds more believable with the microwave droning in the background.

However, when he finally starts to pick himself back up, when he gets his first day job since prison, finally lets Nate buy him a used truck to get around, his first solo call from Sully, that’s when he finally starts to eat.

And when he finally feels like himself again, when he finally lets himself want to live again, the first hobby that Sam Drake takes up is cooking.

#uncharted #sam drake #sam drake x reader #uncharted 4 #uncharted 4: a thief's end #shea is back babyyyy (at least a little bit)#life's been real hard and i think i need to go back to uncharted and writing a bit to save my soul #also i love this man and wanna see him well #don't we all???#also biggest hugs and heart eyes to the anon who decided to stick around this dead blog #thank you <3

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randomprose · 6 months

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“What the fuck are you eating?”

“Uhh,” He Tian looks up from his spread of instant noodles, an unpeeled boiled egg, a half pack of Hot Cheetos, a banana, and two Monster drinks all bought from the convenience store a block away from their apartment. “Girl dinner?”

“A what?” Mo Guan Shan looks at He Tian like he just spoke another language as he puts down the bag of groceries on the kitchen counter.

“You know,” He Tian makes a vague waving motion with his hand that’s not submerge inside the Cheeto packet. “Girl dinner.”

Mo Guan Shan continues to stare at him like he’s gone crazy—which, to be fair, is a look he gives He Tian at least once a day since they’ve known each other.

“Girl dinner! From TikTok! How can you not know what girl dinner is?!”

“You keep saying that like it actually means something.” The condescending look Mo Guan Shan shoots He Tian is enough to put a lesser man to shame.

But! He Tian is not, and therefore, undeterred. Besides, he gets that look from Mo Guan Shan often enough that he’s built up an immunity. So, he just puts down his chopsticks, licks his hands clean of Cheeto dust, and pulls out his phone to open TikTok.

“Wait. Lemme show you. I can’t believe you’ve never heard of girl dinner. It’s all over TikTok.”

“And what the hell is a TikTok?”

“Ah, sorry. I meant, Douyin. TikTok is just what they call it in the states.”

“If it’s the same then just fucking say Douyin.”

“Whatever. Come here and watch this.”

Mo Guan Shan walks to where He Tian is seated on the couch. He’s pulled up a video and in it, the person is eating…a macaroni and cheese in a wine glass. What the hell. The audio is in English but Mo Guan Shan has taken enough lessons to understand what it says. And then it’s followed by a ridiculous tune singing 'girl dinner' over and over.

He Tian scrolls to more videos and all of them are just food combinations that get more and more appalling to Mo Guan Shan.

A half-eaten sandwich and a glass of chocolate milk, coleslaw and beer, chicken nugget dinosaurs and a couple of cheese cubes. He even saw one that was just a slice of cold pizza and her…anti-depressants.

“What the fuck.”

“See, the idea is it’s not a full meal,” He Tian explains. “Just whatever you have that you can eat because it’s just dinner anyway.”

“Yeah, I got that,” Mo Guan Shan says. “What the fuck.”

“You have to admit though. Infainess to me, I’m eating way better than these people,” He Tian says as he scrolls through his feed, shovelling more Cheetos into his mouth. “I mean, now that I think about it, this isn’t actually girl dinner at all! I’ve got carbs, protein, sugars—hell, I even have a fruit. This is basically a full course meal, yeah?

Mo Guan Shan’s eyes look between He Tian and the spread he has on the coffee table before once again leveling him with a stare that implies he’s gone insane. He’s not sure if he’s being serious or messing with him because He Tian’s relationship with food has always been weird in Mo Guan Shan’s opinion.

“He Tian, you—” He sighs before standing back to return to the kitchen. “Swear to god you went overseas for a couple of years and you got whitewashed.”

“Wha—” He Tian stops mid-chew of his noodles. “Whitewashed? This was how I ate before I met you!”

The pitying look Mo Guan Shan shoots him this time offends him, He Tian’s not gonna lie.

Mo Guan Shan honestly has no idea how He Tian kept himself alive before he started making him cook for him. He packs away the groceries before starting on dinner prep. A proper dinner. And not that idiotic girl dinner bullshit He Tian is stuffing himself up with. Fucking idiot.

He starts cutting up some vegetables for a quick stir fry after putting on the rice cooker and seasoning some chicken cutlets he plans to grill. He rolls his eyes when he looks up and sees He Tian is still eating his stupid girl dinner meal but at least he’s eating the banana now.

“If you’ve still got an appetite after that junk you just ate you’re welcome to join me for a real dinner.”

“I always have room for your cooking. You know that.”

“Alright.”

“You need help or anything?”

“Nah. It’s fine. This’ll be done quick. Just set the table when I tell you to.”

“Copy that.”

It’s silent then save for He Tian scrolling through his phone and watching videos. Every now and then, something will make him chuckle and Mo Guan Shan will feel his phone vibrate in his pocket which means He Tian has sent those videos to him. Later, they’ll lay in bed and He Tian will watch those videos again with him and laugh all over.

The rice cooker timer goes off just as Mo Guan Shan turns off the stove. He Tian throws his trash and tucks his phone away to set the table.

“Why are you eating that shit anyway?” Mo Guan Shan asks as he scoops rice onto their bowls.

“There wasn’t anything in the fridge I can make. I wasn’t sure what time you’ll be back and you weren’t answering your phone”

“I was in line at the cashier. Couldn’t pick up.”

“Well, you weren’t home and I was hungry. So.”

“Well, I’m here now so quit eating shit like you’re a broke college student. You’re not eating girl meal—”

“Girl dinner.”

“—or whatever the fuck you called that garbage. Not in my fucking kitchen you're not.

“Alright, alright. Geez. So strict, Little Mo.”

“Tch. For such a picky eater you eat absolute trash. I thought I trained that out of you by now.”

“What am I a dog?”

“Nah. I’ve seen dogs who eat better than you.”

“Oh, like that one lady who has two huskies? Yeah, I’ve seen her videos. Those dogs eat like kings. I mean, prime cut steaks every day? Fuck.”

“Shit. I know, right? And she even cooks them too like—”

The rest of dinner is spent is spent idly chatting. Mo Guan Shan puts more vegetables in He Tian’s bowl which he eats without complaints because he knows it makes him happy. After dinner, He Tian washes the dishes while Mo Guan Shan makes them tea and thinks about dishes he can stock the fridge with that He Tian can just heat up whenever he gets hungry.

They fall asleep scrolling through the videos He Tian has sent Mo Guan Shan throughout the day.

#19 days #tianshan #mo guan shan #he tian #food as a love language #look me in the eyes and tell me he tian isn't the type to eat “girl dinner” meals #ht: girl dinner!#mgs: not in my fucking kitchen you're not #writing

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olderthannetfic · 2 months

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https://olderthannetfic.tumblr.com/post/741872748055396352/as-someone-who-loves-to-cook-very-international-a#notes

One thing I completely forgot to mention. For anyone who eats meat: A GOOD BUTCHER! Too many people really need to find a good butcher, because more than half the "bland" meat based dishes will remedy themselves if you find a good butcher. Especially if you manage to build a line of communication to get cuts of meat as fresh as possible, you'll get fresh and well tasting meat. There's a world of difference between a good butcher's cut piece of meat, and most of what you might find in a supermarket. You know how chicken is considered some of the driest and least flavourful meat? If you get a good butcher who knows some chicken farmers, you might actually be able to get some actual fat and flavourful chicken that gets to eat grass and whatever it can find outside, instead of the mass production farm chicken that get feed with pellets. So much can impact the flavour of meat. You'll also feel much more satisfied eating meat only a few times a week if those cuts actually taste good and filling, which can cut down on your meat consumption, obviously also paired with fresh and flavourful veggies and other sides. And so we don't forget it, same goes for a seafood market. Especially seafood honestly. Some seafood really only tastes good "out of the water, into the pan, onto your plate." If it takes too long, you'll end up with less than stellar tasting meat. You also get fish and seafood that way that hasn't been processed with chemicals and other additives to keep it fresh longer. Flash frozen is also a valid form to get fresh unprocessed fish, so don't be afraid if you hear the fish you're buying was flash frozen. And for vegetables and fruit: A good farmer's market, or at least a list of in-season veggies and fruits. Veggies and fruit will always taste best within their harvesting season. A farmer's market will often have more focus on flavour and actual aroma, rather than how supermarkets some times mostly focus on the looks of the produce. Some vegetables and fruits that you get at the supermarket might be watery and bland, or even dry/woody and stringy, while the farmer's market, mainly/especially for local produce will be a lot more flavourful and aromatic. Having the option to use veggies that actually taste like something really does a world of difference for your diet!

There's a place in the Bay Area where you can go select your chicken or duck and wait for them to slaughter it. Depressing, maybe, to have to look your dinner in the face before it's killed, but one meets an interesting cross-section of Chinese immigrants, people who want halal food, etc. Last time I was there, a little old lady told me I needed to make chicken soup immediately on returning home and not refrigerate the chicken, wait, or try to do dishes like roast chicken that require more fat because these particular chickens are too lean.

She said most people have never tasted a proper dish made from freshly killed chicken, at least around here.

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fallershipping · 8 months

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Looker and Anabel's Pokemon

Due to the fanfic Neither Black Nor White on AO3 (Rated Mature), I was thinking about my headcanons for Pokemon husbandry and what it takes to keep such amazing, unique, and uniquely costy creatures, especially in the terms of Anabel.

Looker is pretty simple since he only has Croagunk, but a good reason he has another Croagunk after his last one's passing is that he's well aware of the species and how to properly care for one.

An old piece but Looker wears safety gloves when handling this species. Not just to protect himself from the poison that seeps from its body fairly naturally (even if it's in very low doses) but mostly because amphibians are very porous. Gloves that do not irritate its skin and are frequently washed are something Looker has for the lil guy. He also is well aware of how Croagunk's poison/venom works: in very low doses from a Poison Jab it can safely knock down a fully grown person to put them in a drowsy state. It can even be reworked for medicinal purposes.

Beyond that he's well aware of the environment Croagunk needs to thrive. Regular water misting or splashes in bodies of water keep the frog's skin moist, but Croagunk isn't too hard to maintain due to the body size and species.

The real tricky person is Anabel.

Now still on Looker's side, Anabel has given him (forced onto him, really) shared custody of her Riolu/Lucario in my headcanon. He's been learning how to take care of such a Pokemon, which is actually quite a simple species due to being a loyal canine. I don't believe Pokemon eat processed kibble, but Lucario can eat a diet similar to a human except with more of a meat/eggs focus. (And no chocolate, I don't believe the Lucario Movie in the slightest.) Unlike Croagunk, doesn't need a special place to sleep or regular skin moistenings.

Now firmly on Anabel, we have from order of obtainment: Snorlax, Alakazam, Raikou, Latios, Entei, Weavile, Mismagius, Salamence, and (Shared Custody)Lucario.

Having a Munchlax/Snorlax starter ALONE sounds costly enough. It's known to be a gluttonous Pokemon, so it's already expensive by itself. Anabel thankfully has a plan. International Pokemon League Societies provide benefit for trainers: things like access to specialized food, items, and certifications based on the level trainer someone is. (This is why you can only buy Ultra Balls after certain amount of accomplishments.)

So Anabel has special nutrient rich Snorlax food that keeps it happy. Snorlax as a species tend to fall under "you are what you eat" so if they eat low energy vegetation they'll need a lot, versus high protein/calorie food products that get processed easier into energy. Snorlax also enjoys restaurants that also serve the Pokemon, as it can enjoy human-based food as treats.

Alakazam and Weavile are simple diets like Lucario and Croagunk. Mismagius doesn't need to eat but can "ingest" a treat if she wants to. Salamence needs more due to size but can eat fruits, root veggies, eggs, and meat.

And then there is Raikou, Entei, and Latios. Two big cat carnivores and one long-migration Pokemon, all legendaries. There is not enough information about this Pokemon, and people who train legendaries are but a handful. Anabel needs a properly licensed certificate alone for Salamence and Snorlax. She needs a VERY SPECIAL certification and Trainer ID to even allow for her rare, precious, and intense legendary creatures-- and to prove that she can take proper care of them.

They are like endangered species mixed with cryptids, and their diets can be specialized. Thankfully, however, Latios is easy to feed with a similar diet to Salamence except with less meat. He often finds food on his own, however. Raikou and Entei can have meat at home, but would much rather hunt for their own food. That being said, they also seem to gain energy from volcanic activity and thunderstorms, as they are still a rather mystical species. Anabel is weary about letting them hunt for themselves, because they fall under an invasive species or something akin to letting your cat be an outdoor cat so that it kills all the birds in the area (Not cool. Stop making your cat an outdoor cat.)

But if anything, Latios, Raikou, and Entei are very, very intelligent. They don't overhunt; they take what they need from the earth and repay it. They rely on the energy of the planet as well as the energy of their diet, so they are three independent Pokemon that keep themselves fed.

Even so, with International Police and the League Associations, Anabel can breathe easy that she's not breaking the bank just to keep her Pokemon fed. Just as long as she's following regulations and providing research info on rare species, a lot of her food costs as subsidized or her Pokemon are taken care of when she uses the PC to send them over to a general caretaker.

Burnet and Wicke in Alola provide free health screenings on her Legendaries as they are the only ones Anabel trusts, and they want to work with such increadible Pokemon!

And that's what I have in terms of Pokemon husbandry. It can be rather difficult to upkeep such increadible creatures without extra help, so this is probably why so many people have one or two Pokemon that are considered more pet-like than anything.

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