Blog Update:
Hi, it's me, Loyal.
I just want to say first and foremost, I really do love (parts of) the fandom and I'm not going anywhere.
I will, however, not be around as much. One, I'm about to enter an all day intensive treatment plan so I'll literally just be on in the evening. Two, as much as I'm going to keep writing and creating, I have no intention of interacting publicly with fandom as much as I have.
I can't. It's actually fucking insane that it's gotten to this point. I made tribute post and because I used lyrics from Dream's song, I got harassed. The people doing this, acting like this, thinking this way are insane.
So in case it's not clear: Based on my personal lived experience and some information that's come to light, I still enjoy Dream's content. You can approach me personally, off anon, if you want to know my reasoning. If you dislike me for this, that's fine. But I'm done trying to walk this fine line just so I don't get people threatening me, my kids, and my pets. Just so people stop sending me the city I live in, so they stop digging up twelve year old tweets, so they stop calling me slurs and suicide baiting me.
That's absolutely insane. It's horrible. It's disgusting and I was honestly just sitting here, taking it, because I'm terrified of upsetting people and losing friends if I say 'yeah, I'm excited for a new manhunt and I also this song helped me and my kids process my grief'. And the worst part is, it's not an unfounded fear. People have done the most vile shit to me. People I thought were friends jumped on me instead of those harassing me.
I just want to post about Techno and c!Rivals duo and not worry about whether or not this post is going to get me hate. I don't want to worry about how random discord servers are talking about me.
Because that's fucking batshit. Not the worrying, but what these people are doing and I'm tired of letting this effect me. I have enough going on in my personal life. My partner of 15 years almost died. We almost lost our house. I should be able to come online and post about the silly minecraft guys I like and their RP and lore without censoring myself out of fear of literally being doxxed and cyber stalked. I should be able to talk about the racism that effects me without being afraid people will make it about cc drama or calling me slurs or erasing my identity as an Ojibwe person.
The people doing this are the problem. It hurts that so many people are part of this, it really does. But I can't keep letting it get to me. I've always done my best to be kind. I haven't been perfect, especially not lately, because all this hate and stress has gotten to me. I've lashed out. I shouldn't have.
And I shouldn't have had to deal with all that shit in the first place. I hope no one else does. It's terrifying and draining and I'm done.
So I intend to post the things I enjoy, I intend to reblog my friends' art, write the Emerald duo and Rivals duo fics I want to. I want to post about the Syndicate and the new manhunt when it comes out. That's what I'm going to do.
Asks are staying off for the moment because people are too happy to make burner blogs but I'll probably turn them back on at some point as I love answering lore and headcanon questions and, again, it's fucked up I can't enjoy an aspect of the site and fandom because people can't just leave me alone.
To those people: Get help. You're harassing someone because you think they deserve it and that's the most fucked up thing.
To everyone else: So so many of you have been amazing. You've been supportive, you've been kind. That kindness and support speaks volumes and I love you all. I genuinely love you. Dreblr, you've been here for me for over a year at this point and I cannot thank you enough. You are the best part of fandom as far as I'm concerned. And to Dtblr, y'all have come to support me countless times and that means the world to me, it really does. As for all my fellow Rivals duo fans, you people are worth your weight in gold for the joy you bring. A special shout-out to @vpofcookies because you've been here since the beginning, practically, and I love you. There's more but you know who you are.
Anyway, I've been carrying this for awhile and I'm tired. I'm no longer going to give any amount of thought to the people determined to drag me down and harass me constantly.
My best advice is stop focusing on the things and people you hate and instead focus on what you love. That's what I plan to do, from here on out.
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weekly tag wednesday!
i was tagged by a ton of cuties -- @darlingian @energievie @deedala @palepinkgoat @crestfallercanyon @francesrose3 @mmmichyyy @lingy910y & @juliakayyy! thanks cuties! i'm smooching each & every one of you on the cheek!
about me
name: bee
age: 31
star sign: cancer
your first language: english
second language: french! i'm fairly conversational
favorite lip product: chapstick
the best food dish you can make without a recipe: tacos? tacos!
if you drink tea, what kind?: english breakfast or mint
if you drink coffee, what roast do you usually get?: as dark as dark can be!
favorite thing to watch on youtube right now: tbh i don't really watch much on youtube these days? gallavichscenes probably lol
favorite thing to watch on youtube in 2012: kiss compilations oops
favorite item of clothing right now: a sweatshirt that says "come to the dark side, we have smut"
favorite item of clothing in 2012: this hot little red dress that made me look like a bombshell
fandom
three movies you recommend: 10 things i hate about you, elizabethtown, lars & the real girl
your favorite concert: my favorite singer of all time, during a snowstorm in nyc. there were only 35 people in attendance & he came down afterwards to say hello & take pictures, even though he's the most shy person of all time - it was amazing!
have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?: yes
have you ever left a fandom because of the fans?: no
the best tv show you watched last year: this one's really hard... it was a great year - either the bear or the final season of succession
do you have a fancasting you just can't let go of?: i don't think so? even though i really loved tpz as alex in rwrb, i do wish they'd gone with a biblically accurate height difference & cast someone like michael cimino (love, victor)
a ship you've abandoned: i don't think i've ever abandoned a ship!
how willing are you to share your ao3 history?: omg it's a mess, but you can peek, sure
do you have a fandom tattoo?(do you want one?): i have luna lovegood's radish earrings, an ode to hamlet & my favorite number in doctor who-like tally marks! & the rebel alliance symbol. oh wow, i'm a nerd!
what fandom do you wish was bigger?: the last binding series by freya marske! especially hawthorn & ross, aka rawthorn my beloveds
has a finale ever ruined a show for you?: same as chani - how i met your mother. terrible shame! also a bit game of thrones. it wasn't ruined, but i wasn't happy.
have you...
swam in an ocean?: yes
ever been vegan/vegetarian?: no
gone skinny dipping?: yes
gone skiing?: no
been to a convention?: many!
tagging @thisdivorce @steorie @heymrspatel @whatthebodygraspsnot @whatwouldmickeydo @metalheadmickey @gardenerian @howlinchickhowl @rereadanon @creepkinginc & anyone else who wants to play! xx
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Hello and welcome to our Tartarus tour,
This once in a lifetime experience will show you some of the most hostile yet beautiful landscapes of the Greek mythology. While simultaneously offering the chance to see some of the most dangerous and fascinating creatures alive.
With our limited internet we were able to find the lay-out of Tartarus. Unfortunately, we were unable to find the brave adventurer whose map is displayed on the “pjo fandom wiki” website and thus we are sadly not able to properly credit them for laying the foundation of our own map. If anyone knows who made that original map please let us know.
Below, you, our dear costumer, can find a map of Tartarus with the route we will be taking this guided tour. You will also be able to find a version without the marked route.
We sincerely hope you will enjoy this tour.
~H.L.
*Tartarus Guided Tour is not responsible for any injuries, deaths or curses that happen during the tour. Join at your own risk.
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