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irkimatsu · 1 year

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Eurovision 2023 Ranking and Comments

Once again, it’s time for Eurovision! This would be my tenth one if not for COVID! (I feel like I’ve said that before, but I mean it this time. For some reason I keep thinking I started in 2013 and not 2014.) As usual, I’ve used a Eurovision ranking sorter to rank my picks, and I’ll talk about each song! Also as usual, my taste still sucks! I will continue to remind everyone that I’ve been unironically listening to Scooch since before they ever entered! I’m here for the fun, the glamour, the drama! I’m the kind of person who can admit when a ballad is objectively beautiful but also admit that they bore me to piss.

There’s also no songs this year that I outright dislike, so that’s good!

Categories!

Indifferent: Songs I absolutely do not care about. I don’t even care enough to dislike them. They’re just here, being wildly out of step with anything I’d ever listen to on purpose.

Okay: There may be an element or two here that I like, but overall, I won’t miss it if it gets eliminated in the semi. May have had a chance with a better singer or mixing or something, but we don’t live in the world with the better version, so here it stays.

Like: I really like these! Will likely be keeping them even after the contest is over.

Love: Top five, the songs that have been near and dear to my heart ever since I first listened to them.

Before I started ranking properly, I also used to have “Biased” (I mainly like it for character reasons) and “What” (what), and those will still be used as subcategories. If you’ve listened to the playlist this year, I’m sure you can guess the “What”. I’ll also be throwing character notes at some songs even if they aren’t biased because it’s fun, fuck you, it’s my ranking and I’ll be as cringey as I want.

Eurovision Sorter: https://esc.gerbear.com/sorter2023.htm

Indifferent:

37. Spain: “Eaea” by Blanca Paloma

Sigh. I understand why this song is so respected. I understand that the singer is very talented to be able to sing the way she does. I understand that it’s a very unique entry. But my mood when listening to it varies between “I don’t care” and “this is mildly annoying”. This is the opposite of anything I would ever choose to listen to. Normally, my respect for it would bring it up a little in the rankings, but then I get a headache and it falls down to last again. Just can’t deal with this one. Glad I’ll only have to watch it once.

36. Italy: “Due Vite” by Marco Mengoni

I can barely even think of anything to say about this one. There’s always a song like this – the powerful, stripped-down ballad that I don’t care about because I have ADHD and like a lot of noise. Oops. It’s good, I’m sure, but it does absolutely nothing for me and it’s one of those songs where I rarely even remember how it goes, so it’s stuck here. Sorry. Did I mention that I have terrible taste in everything?

35. Netherlands: “Burning Daylight” by Mia Nicolai& Dion Cooper

…it’s a song, I suppose? It has a little bit more life than “Due Vite”, but that’s all I really know how to say about it. It’s there and I don’t really care. Always gets tuned out the instant it comes on. Sorry, guys.

I need to stop letting children’s pop influence my tastes in Dutch music…

34. San Marino: “Like An Animal” by Piqued Jacks

The good news is that we finally have some life again. The bad news is that it hits a very subjective squick of mine. I don’t like lyrics about smelling people. I have no idea why. It always sounds more creepy and icky to me than sexy. So every time the line “I can smell you like an animal” comes up, I wince a little. The music isn’t bad, it’s not boring, but I also don’t like it enough to get past that very ridiculous ick. It only even goes this high because I feel weird about being so bothered by that. But even without that lyric, I just don’t care for this song much and won’t mind if it gets cut, I’m sad to say.

33. Azerbaijan: “Tell Me More” by TuralTuranX

This song also kind of bugs me, but for reasons I can’t even put my finger on. I just don’t feel any charm or likability from the singer. I’m sure he’s a perfectly nice person in real life, but in the song he has all the charm of a wet rag. It just sounds like something I would have heard on American radio in the mid-2000’s and I would have found it charmless and dull even back then. Nothing here for me, moving on.

32. Albania: “Duje” by Albina & Familja Kelmendi

You could put almost every Albanian entry in the history of the Contest into a blender, submit the result to the 2024 contest, and no one would even notice. It’s an Albanian entry all right! Too bad I don’t normally like them! If you like Albanian entries, you’ll like this; if you don’t, you won’t. It’s simple as that. Also, I think it’s a song about parents arguing over dinner in front of the kids, and just thinking about that makes me want to run up my stairs and slam my bedroom door. I don’t even live with my family or have stairs to run up anymore, but old memories never really die.

31. Ireland: “We Are One” by Wild Youth

There’s nothing wrong with this song, but there’s nothing particularly right with it either. It’s another one I don’t know what to say about. This song has been submitted a thousand times throughout the history of the Contest, and maybe I would have liked it better a decade ago, but now it’s stale. I can’t see this getting Ireland into the final, we’ve all heard it before.

30. Slovenia: “Carpe Diem” by Joker Out

I know this is a popular one, but it’s not my favorite rock song of the bunch, not even close. It has some life to it, at least, and maybe sometimes I even have a glimmer of fun when it’s on, but I stop caring the instant it’s over, so I can’t rank it any higher than this. I won’t be surprised if it makes it to the final, but I’m not one of the ones voting for it.

29: Switzerland: “Watergun” by Remo Forrer

I respect this one a lot more than I can say I like it. It’s a powerful message to be sure, and he has a great voice. But god is it depressing. And I get it, we need depressing songs like this. Shit sucks right now, and people use art to express their fears and feelings about everything that’s going on. I just don’t know if it fits in Eurovision. It’s not the worst entry to ever bank on using emotions to get votes, but there’s still a lot I’d much rather listen to.

28. Ukraine: “Heart Of Steel” by Tvorchi

It certainly has an identity of its own! I’m just not really feeling that identity. I can see why others like it, and it’s not the worst I’ve heard as far as “country that won last year” goes! I’m actually used to liking those a lot less! But this one isn’t for me. And that’s perfectly fine. Ukraine really doesn’t need to win this year, they’ve got better things to worry about. I wouldn’t have blamed them if they pulled out this year.

Okay:

27. Estonia: “Bridges” by Alika

Her voice is gorgeous! I’m a sucker for a good piano. I expect it to do well. Even if it’s not the sort of song I normally rank very high, and this year is no exception, I respect it a lot and wish Estonia the best of luck. Don’t know what else to say about it; I feel like this comment is very sparse. I don’t know, I’m just not indifferent enough to it to rank it lower than this, and that’s all I’ve got.

26. Lithuania: “Stay” by Monika Linkytė

I’m a sucker for “I know I’m not a good person, I know I need help, but I love you, so please be patient with me” type songs, so I’ve listened to this a bit more than I normally would. Usually while thinking about Ichimatsu, because I can’t be helped. The “Čiūto tūto” bits are catchy, too.

25. Cyprus: “Break A Broken Heart” by Andrew Lambrou

He’s got a great voice! I can feel the desperation in the song. Not a favorite of mine, but it’s exactly what it was setting out to be, so good for it! I think he’ll do well live.

24. Denmark: “Breaking My Heart” by Reiley

Putting Cyprus and Denmark back-to-back was not intentional, I swear. This song is so obviously aimed at a demographic that’s not me; I don’t use TikTok and I haven’t been in high school in a very long time. It’s cute enough, and I don’t feel right being mean to it just because I’m an old fart. You go for those votes from teenagers who like cute boys, Reiley!

Some of those lyrics, though. “Now I remember, I used to tell you all my deepest fears. When fighting, you used them just to force some tears.” And which of you said it’d be easier if you were dead? Were they saying that about you? Reiley, your ex is a fucking bitch. Run. They ain’t worth it.

23. Greece: “What They Say” by Victor Vernicos

I really thought this was going to rank lower, but the lyrics grew on me. They’re very “edgy Tumblr poetry”, I know I’ve been seeing memes making fun of this song’s sentiment for years… but the sentiment of “those who are hurt try their best to help because they don’t want to hurt others” still gets to me. Let me have a bit of edginess, as a treat. This song lets me pretend I’m 16 again for a few minutes. (And maybe I do still feel that sentiment at my age… trauma’s a bitch. Again, a little edginess as a treat.)

Like:

22. Poland: “Solo” by Blanka

Okay, okay, okay, I know everyone hates this song. But I like this girly bubblegummy style of pop, damn it! It’s fun, it’s cute! Let it live! I know everyone wanted “Gladiator” to win the national final, and I do like that song, too… but I heard Solo first, so I got to go in unbiased and decided it’s a cute little summer hit. …I do concede that the national final performance was a bit of a mess, though. I hope she gets better control of her voice for Eurovision itself, for her sake.

21. Israel: “Unicorn” by Noa Kirel

Oh, how I wish I liked this song more than I do. It’s still in the Like tier, of course! But these lyrics are so bad. I know, I know, it’s Eurovision, lyrics are usually pretty bad. But I think I can deal with “this song sounds like a bunch of nonsense” a lot better than “this song makes grammatical sense, and what it ends up meaning is stupid”. “Stand there like a unicorn” is just not a good comeback. I don’t even hate the unicorn comparison! They’re beautiful, majestic, strong! But come on, Noa, I think you can do more than just stand there, darling. The music is fun, the dancing is great, but I’m dumb and too hung up on one little repeated lyric. Sigh. Just can’t take this seriously enough to rank it better than this. Sorry.

Also, videos have nothing to do with how I rank songs, but I never want to see the Noataur ever again. Yikes. Something about “realistic human torso CGIed onto realistic horse body” has always freaked me the fuck out.

20. Iceland: “Power” by Diljá

P-P-P-POWER! Oh, her voice is so nice! This one’s a lot of fun, and I’m looking forward to an energetic performance! Good luck, Iceland! Wish I had more to say about this one, but I can’t put it into words besides “heehee good melody good voice good song good”. And I call myself a writer.

19. Serbia: “Samo mi se spava” by Luke Black

This is silly. I like it. I get the core of it, wanting to sleep instead of dealing with how much everything sucks… and then you throw in the video game references and the chaotic music that sounds like it’s threatening me and GIANT ROBOT. It’s insane. I love it. I hope Serbia keeps sending experimental stuff like this; even if it’s no “In Corpore Sano”, it’s a lot of fun to watch. Can’t wait to see the staging on this.

Also, the single art is very silly and I already memed about it. RING RING RING RING RING RING RING, CRUSTACEAN PHONE

18. Romania: “D.G.T. (Off and On)” by Theodor Andrei

The waltz rhythm immediately helps it stand out, and the music suits the story of a couple that are absolutely shit for each other but can’t keep away from each other. I’m usually harsh on songs about shitty relationships (hello, Croatia 2022), but I like when they’re self-aware and have some bite. Also, Theodor Andrei looks like a fucking dork, and I have a soft spot for fucking dorks. Fucking dorks who want beautiful women to step on them, at that. You go for it, Theodor.

17. Armenia: “Future Lover” by Brunette

Whoo boy. Rambling about anime time. It took me a bit to understand this song, but now I get it; it’s a song about a girl who’s so obsessed with the concept of love that it’s driving her insane. Maybe she hasn’t met someone she actually loves and is desperate for that moment, or maybe she’s in love with someone she’s only seen from afar, but either way, she’s not doing well.

Just like my dear, darling Ichimi. Let’s just hope Brunette doesn’t resort to murder to deal with her feelings.

I’ve seen a lot of reviews say this song doesn’t get good until the second half, but to me, the slow beginning just adds to it; I actively like how it starts as a genuine love song before descending into madness. It’s a beautiful sanity slip of a song. It’s exactly what it set out to be, and I love it for that.

The question is, would it be ranked this high if I didn’t want to animate Ichimi having a mental breakdown to it? The world may never know.

16. Croatia: “Mama ŠČ!” by Let 3

How in the name of Christ on a bike do you even rank something like this. In the old days, this would have been flung firmly into “What”. Seriously, what is this? I love whatever this is, but what is this? I get it, it’s an anti-war song… with drag Hitler riding a missile into space… and a person in a green suit doing a strangely hypnotizing dance… I know I shouldn’t judge by the video, but the video only adds to the insanity. I love what they’re doing and I’m glad they’re having fun with it. TRACTOR.

15. Georgia: “Echo” by Iru Khechanovi

I know, I know, I just dumped on Israel for having dumb lyrics, but “Echo”’s lyrics are too utterly nonsense for me to find fault in. They don’t mean anything stupid; they just don’t mean anything, to the point that I didn’t realize that this was in English at first. So I can deal with it better. I love how this sounds! It’s somewhat hypnotizing! I really hope this one does well; it deserves attention for more than just its batshit insane lyrics. (One thing worth noting is that I saw some people comparing the lyrics to the similar inanity of a lot of Eurobeat lyrics. So maybe decades of Eurobeat prepared me for this moment.)

14. Moldova: “Soarele și luna” by Pasha Parfeni

This song is absolutely gorgeous. I adore the atmosphere. It’s more serious than Moldova usually goes for, but it also has their brand of uniqueness, which I love. I expect a beautiful stage on this one. That dreamy feeling of a fairy tale wedding in the forest under the moon… there’s just something so magical about this one.

13. Latvia: “Aijā” by Sudden Lights

This reminds me of something I would have listened to in high school. Like an outtake from Bis’s “Social Dancing” era. Maybe that’s why it makes me feel so nostalgic? It has a similar dreamy feeling to “Soarele și luna”, but with more of a bitterness to it. I get it; everything sucks, and we’d all rather just close our eyes and pretend it’s not happening… Serbia handles that subject with panic and desperation, while Latvia has a more somber approach. I like both ways, but Latvia hits my gut harder.

12. Sweden: “Tattoo” by Loreen

I feel like I’m going to be hunted down by an angry mob for not putting this in my top ten. I swear, I did the sorter three times! I tried to get this higher! But there are 11 songs I like better! I’m sorry! And that’s not to say I don’t like this song, because god I love Loreen and I’m so glad she’s back. I won’t be disappointed if this wins, though it might feel a little… predictable? And I will be honest, it’s a great song, but it’s no “Euphoria”. Lightning didn’t strike twice here, at least not for me. But maybe it’ll win. It’ll definitely qualify, at least. We’ll see!

11. Portugal: “Ai coração” by Mimicat

Holy shit, this is the most I’ve ever liked a Portuguese entry. Energy! There’s energy! The dancing, the mania, it’s so damn fun! I love it! I wish I knew how to describe exactly what kind of music this is; on one hand it feels very cultural, but on the other, the song I keep mentally comparing its energy to is so damn white that I’m too embarrassed to even name it. Whatever this energy is, though, it’s a damn good one, and I’m gonna be dancing along with it.

10. Germany: “Blood & Glitter” by Lord Of The Lost

Metal is a weird genre for me; I can hate it more than anything, but I can also love it if it hits me just right, and this one knows how to hit. Beautifully optimistic metal by guys in elaborate costumes! To me, this is what metal should be; fun and ridiculous. This is why most metal fans would impale me on a spike. I still love it as it is, as a second coming of Lordi. So glad it’s here, looking forward to its energy!

9. Czechia: “My Sister’s Crown” by Vesna

Damn, this one’s catchy! Especially the parts in Czech! A lovely little feminist anthem that I expect good things for! We are not your dolls! (Hey, I rooted for a song about not being a man’s doll before, and that one won the whole thing! I think Czechia can do well!)

8. Australia: “Promise” by Voyager

If this is Australia’s last year in the Contest, then what a way to go out! I was already feeling it from the beginning, though wasn’t sure why people were describing it as metal… then the chorus hit and I was sold. It has the same optimistic energy as “Blood & Glitter”. A little more desperate to be told to be optimistic, but I feel like the singer gets there in the end. He believes the promise. I need music like this when things start to hurt too much. Promise me it’s gonna be all right…

7. France: “Évidemment” by La Zarra

Ooh, this one’s classy! It’s got a nice groove to it! I really hope France doesn’t get completely robbed this year like they did last year. Seriously, guys, what the hell? This song deserves respect, damn it! I’m glad it’s getting that respect now in comments and such, but then, so did “Fulenn”… it reminds me of Lithuania last year. Will definitely be grooving to it during showtime!

6. Malta: “Dance (Our Own Party)” by The Buskers

I could say this song got ranked so high because I turned it into an Ichimatsu theme, but screw that, it’s genuinely a fun song that deserves to be in my top ten! I definitely relate to it – I love dancing and partying to music, but doing it in a crowd is terrifying. Having my own party sounds lovely! And that saxophone, oh that saxophone! Every time someone brings a saxophone to Eurovision, you know it’s going to be a good time. I am terrified that this one’s going to be overlooked…

Love:

5. United Kingdom: “I Wrote A Song” by Mae Muller

A sassy dance-pop song? Sign me up! This has a great melody, and I love the lyrics. Also another one I threw at anime – in this case, Nyaa-chan. Fuck you, IT Guy. But this song was in my top 5 before I even thought about that, so that doesn’t count. I wonder if the rap break from the music video will be performed live? I know it makes the song a bit too long, unless they cut something somewhere else… I can do without it, it’s not like it’s the best part or anything.

On another note, this song was co-written by Karen Poole, a long-time collaborator with Kylie Minogue, which explains why it’s so awesome. I didn’t know that when I decided this was top five material, so there’s no bias here, but realizing that explained why this is so good. It’s also worth noting that Poole also wrote a few songs for Lene Nystrøm’s solo album. The girl from Aqua. This song has the same pedigree as songs such as “It’s your duty, duty, to shake that booty, booty”. God bless.

4. Belgium: “Because Of You” by Gustaph

Oh god I love that housy groove. This song could have been about anything and I would have loved it, but the fact that it’s a self-empowerment anthem is even better! This could have come right out of the early 90’s club scene, and that sort of retro feel delights me. I am dying to see this one in the final!

3. Norway: “Queen Of Kings” by Alessandra

God damn I love when this song kicks into gear. Best feminist anthem of the year, no contest. I loved how ridiculous Norway were last year, of course, but god when they’re actually trying they are so good. I’m so glad this song’s getting the attention it deserves. Definitely keeping this around long after this year’s show is over.

2. Finland: “Cha Cha Cha” by Käärijä

This was the first song I listened to this year, before all the entries were even revealed. I kept hearing people saying it was confusing and scary, and I had to see it for myself. It is indeed confusing and scary… in the best way possible. This song gets me so, so pumped, and I would love to see it win this year. I was afraid to call it my favorite when it was the only one I even knew for a couple of weeks, but it turns out I wasn’t too far off; only one other song even comes close to how much I love this song, and it was so hard to decide whether this or the other one would get the top spot. It has the same spirit as Little Big, and since we’re probably never going to see them actually perform on the Eurovision stage at this point, I welcome their successor in open arms.

Also, have you seen some of the footage of Käärijä? He’s an absolute sweetie. There’s footage of him packing a Bulbasaur plush for Liverpool so it doesn’t get lonely. There’s footage of him dancing to “Cha Cha Cha” while wearing zebra pajamas. One of his favorite Eurovision songs ever is “Dancing Lasha Tumbai”. I adore this man.

1. Austria: “Who The Hell Is Edgar?” by Teya & Selena

“Cha Cha Cha” may have been my favorite for a bit, but then this lovely little earworm grew on me like crazy. If it was just an earworm, it probably would have stayed in second, but then I really started listening to it and reading analyses of it, and I love everything that this song is. A song about how pop stars don’t write their own stuff or sing their own experiences, writers don’t get any credit or respect, and old men in suits are the only ones making money on the whole music business, all wrapped up in a goofy song and dance about the ghost of Edgar Allen Poe. It’s fucking genius, and more relevant than ever in the days of AI writing and the American writers’ strike. I respect everything this song is, and I cannot wait to see this live. For once, I’m not ashamed of my number one pick. You will give Austria the respect they deserve, and if you write them off as a goofy little novelty act with nothing to say then I’ll cry.

Semi 1 Qualifiers:

Croatia

Czechia

Finland

Latvia

Malta

Moldova

Norway

Portugal

Serbia

Sweden

The fact that Israel isn’t on here is a testament to how packed this semi is. Lots of good stuff! I’m nervous! Malta’s probably screwed in favor of Israel, unfortunately… I’ve also seen a lot of fear that Czechia will flub the live performance, so maybe they’ll lose out to Switzerland? No matter what happens, this semi is gonna hurt somebody. I’m terrified. And my favorite isn’t even on here!

Semi 2 Qualifiers:

Armenia

Australia

Austria

Belgium

Denmark

Georgia

Greece

Iceland

Poland

Romania

Let’s rip off the bandage right now; if Poland makes it, it will be due to a severe case of irony poisoning. No one likes that song, and I’m not sure she can pull it off live. It may be better to keep the studio version of it in my memory and get ready to let go of it. At least it’s not a major favorite; just one I’ve been a bit protective of for the past month. I like bubblegum pop, leave me alone. In my non-qualifiers, I think Cyprus, Estonia, and Slovenia have the best chance of making it through, at the risk of Poland, Romania, and… Greece? As long as Austria and Belgium are okay, I think I’ll live. I think Austria’s safe, but I’m not sure about Belgium…

And there we go, done with a little over than 24 hours to spare! I need to go finish some homework now! Merry Eurovision, everyone!

#irk blubbers about nothing #irk talks eurovision 2023

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tbh-entp · 10 months

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Hi I really need ur help. I’m an entp and I already suffer from overthinking and shit (I don’t know if it’s normal for us entp to do that but yeah:)” anyways since the summer of 2020 I went through emotional abuse because I was stupid enough to stay in a toxic relationship for too long with my ex he gaslighted the shit out of me and betrayed me (it was an 8 year long friendship before it happened) . I went through a depression and I think that I was traumatized because I’ve never been this low in my life. Long story short I literally doubt every single choice I do, I feel like disorganized you know I don’t know how to come back to my normal mindset you know the confident one who don’t overthink and just has good ideas. I literally overthink everything like every single thing actions I do and thoughts I get and I don’t even know why I think I’m starting to fall into a depression again and losing myself again because of this. From a fellow entp to another If u know anything about how we work or anything about a loop or anything what dows it sound like because I don’t know shit right now I’m anywhere but in the moment and It frightenes me but I can’t do much about it. I literally overanalyze every single thing and can’t get rid of it. Every anxious thought I get is creating another to a chain where I don’t even know what the problem is. Thank u If you’ve read this far :( xxx

Hi! I'm sorry you're going through this. And I'm sorry it's taken me so long to answer! My inbox always has stuff in it and I don't answer nearly enough of them.

No one deserves to go through emotional abuse, and I'm happy for you that you're out of this relationship! It can be such a destabilizing thing as well to be out of a relationship as well, especially given how long it lasted.

I haven't dealt necessarily with what you did, but I have had a nice share of depression and trauma during the covid years. (I became very scared all of the time essentially... and I'm still unlearning this) I've learned some things from my experiences, though I'm certain that there are more and maybe some more fitting ones for you.

The main thing is just to be kind to yourself.

Now when I'm sad or struggling to do things, I'm just like ok, treat-yoself, it's a sleeping day. And I let it be without forcing myself to act like I'm doing better and also trying not to feel worse for not being at 100% (or even 50%) every day. Forgive yourself.

I try to give myself high-fives for even the smallest things that I accomplish. (I drove recently, and I rarely drive these days (esp in the country I live in) and I was scared, and I did it, and I'm proud!) (I sent an email that was freaking me out, and I'm proud!)

Find someone to talk to also maybe-- feel free to message me if you want. But when I was alone during covid, I got into the habit of leaving voice messages. So even talking to yourself could be helpful. Or writing also!

Pay attention to what you like and enjoy for when you're really feeling down. I have a list that I keep on my phone--sometimes I'm really blurred up and I don't remember to look at it. But sometimes I do remember to check the list, and it reminds me to put on the Great British Baking Show or Taskmaster, or maybe take care of my plants-- this really helps reground me to myself and what i enjoy purely.

If you can afford it, therapy is the thing these days. (But as someone who couldn't afford it for so long (especially because it can be hard to find the right therapist), it's very doable to make changes without it)

Also taking some time to breathe and pause and smell the air is great too. I'm crap at meditation but I do some stretches sometimes and it's good for the brain.

This is what I got! But you deserve love from both yourself and other people.

Sending all of my love xx

#wildly due to covid i became very afraid of death #which i knew many people who passed #and i was living very far away from home in a country where i didn't speak the language and alone #also the blm movement was going on (which i'm black #and this affects me a lot)#and also the 2020 election in the US #and so mentally lol i was wil'n #i put a lot of effort now into facing my fears though to overcome this fear of suddenly dying #but ya lol i was on a stand up paddle two weeks ago #just sitting (someone else was paddling) and i'm sitting there shaking like a madman #and to think that i was struggling to go outside to going to being on a stand up paddle three years later #it's not even that risky but i'm scared of so much stuff now #and i'm proud of this #answered #tw: depression

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russilton · 2 years

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Russ, just wanted to tell you that I saw some pics from Sakhir 2020 doing the rounds recently and they made me think of the omega George AU... still have planted in my head that snippet you gave us of Lewis smelling him even post covid in his seat. I think about it from time to time, just wanted you to know, lol. I mean, even in the real world, must've been strange thinking of someone else being in YOUR car, someone so different in size from you. Someone you've more or less known from years. Eh.

Anon 🥹🥹🥹

I’m so happy to hear people are still thinking about that AU!!!

I think about it a LOT myself; I think what usually restricts me from writing more like I want to, is the RESEARCH I’ll have to do. I can’t remember dick from the 2020 winter break through to preseason 2021 testing, I was having a mental break down! (And then adjusting to new medication, people who take antidepressants, you know how hellish the adjustment is, I was dealing with that)

Anyway, back on topic, it would have been bizarre for Lewis in so many forms. While there are engineers in and out of his car all weekend, another diver is so different. Especially George.

It’s also different because he’s scent bonded to George now. George doesn’t just smell like anyone else, not even like other members of his pack. George smells like fruit and plants and coffee; he smells like fresh new things, like a deep breath of air at the peak of a hike. And it’s so intense when he can’t smell ANYTHING else, that’s why it takes so long for Lewis to click what’s happening. He’s too busy being knocked sideways by scent scent scent, he forgets how insane it is he can smell it at all

#asks #anonymous #omega verse 2021 au #mark rambles

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lazycheesecakegiver · 1 year

Text

TRACY and KAYLA are at the same party. KAYLA is using the bathroom while TRACY is on the other side of the door. The music isn’t blaring in the hallway they are in. TRACY knocks on the door.

KAYLA. Someones in here!

TRACY. Kayla?

KAYLA. Tracy?

TRACY. Hey…! I’d let you in but, I’m a little busy right now. (laughs)

KAYLA. (Jokingly) Yeah, that's more than okay with me.

(Pause).

KAYLA. The host just posted that they’re taking 200 more people before they close the doors.

TRACY. (Sarcastically) Where are all of these fucking people gonna’ fit?

KAYLA. I have no idea. The only free space is this hallway, and it's the only place that doesn’t reek of wet dog.

TRACY. (Washing hands) Hold on, I’m about to open the door.

KAYLA. Thank god.

TRACY. (Opens door) Oh, I love your outfit!

KAYLA. Thank you! I love yours!

TRACY. Yeah come in here, it smells like horse and it actually looks like 50 more people are here.

(KAYLA walks in the bathroom. TRACY hops to sit on the sink. KAYLA sits on the toilet.

TRACY. I don’t remember why or even how I got here. Don’t you have work tomorrow?

KAYLA. I’m only here because as far as my job knows, I have covid. They can’t make me do anything tomorrow.

TRACY. Aren’t some of your coworkers here?

KAYLA. Yeah, and if they snitch I will make it everyone’s problem.

(Music and crowd get louder.)

TRACY. Damn, they’re getting insane out there.

KAYLA. So why did you come out tonight?

TRACY. My ex is here with his new girlfriend.

KAYLA. We need to talk about what she commented under your post, that shit was heinous.

TRACY. I know! He tried defending her saying she felt insecure after finding out we still talk, but she wanted to let him know she still feels prettier. Meanwhile, this is her. (Turns phone to Kayla.)

KAYLA. Yeah, actually there's a word for how she felt, delusional. (TRACY laughs.)

(Someone knocks on the door.)

TRACY. Okay, we actually have to go now.

KAYLA. Okay, well, I actually have to pee.

TRACY walks out. KAYLA goes to use the bathroom.

3 notes · View notes

masternest · 4 months

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I feel like blogging again. Not like any of my friends read these even though I’ve told em about it. But hey, if you’re a friend of mine and you happen to read what I put, then thank you and let me know ^^ drop a hi as I’d truly like to know who’s invested in trying to get to know me

So back to the blog. This 2024 has started out sucky. Where the hell do I even begin. Worst part obviously is going back to the US. In the Philippines, it always seemed like I was treated like a prince but here in the US, I feel like a peasant. Especially with San Diego being the most expensive city to live now? Fuck my life. Thanks god for that. I can’t even be near my kids so just add on the taxes why don’t cha. I can’t even be near her or Matt. So a lot of the times, I’m just -_-

So what other horrible thing happened you say? Well I’m glad you asked random stranger. This is just me venting now to the void lol XD so after a long ass flight, I needed to figure out a way back to SD by bus. I had forgotten though that after the bus, I’d need to use a trolley. But after that, I needed to drag my luggage all the way up the huge hill. In hindsight though, it was a good workout for the arms. Exhausted, I come back to my apartment which is now locked by a fence gate which is usually unlocked but because my bud wasn’t sure that he locked the place, he called maintenance to make sure that it was indeed locked with a key that they never provided me. I shit you not when I tell you that I literally had to break in through my own place. I won’t say how I did it for security reasons lol but my supposed genius level intellect finally kicked in and with a bit of acrobatics, I got in

Next day, the chikas that live above had the place inspected since they were smelling gas for weeks? Weird they only did something now but glad that they did actually as there really was a problem. Kwang while I was away had mentioned that our gas bill seemed to more than double so this was now the true culprit. So to fix it, they shut off the gas. So no heat for a few days. Just great. Add on that my bud became mega sick from his NY trip. But at least we both don’t have Covid. Add on that the kids don’t respond back anymore to me through FB. The ex is back to her old ways it seems of blocking access to me even though I literally pay everything on time and pay in full mind you. I didn’t even do anything to anyone. This is bullshit

But I need to focus. This is an important year. She’s been working hard so I should too. Not that she’ll care too much but we’ll see. I’m so close to accomplishing my goals that have been years in the making. I’m proud of myself for getting Discord back on my phone again so yay. So many people I need to reconnect with but I promised myself I would. So yeah let’s do this. If you’re still reading, what the hell stop stalking and tell me who you are XD but if you’re interested, I’ll try to blog more about my progress on Game Development in the future apart from posting memes that I find funny. If I even remember to. Or maybe this will be my last word post for the year lmao we’ll see

0 notes

survey--s · 11 months

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541.

Is it currently raining where you are? Not at the moment but we’re forecast storms and torrential rain over the next few hours.

What’s something that you have been wanting to say to someone? Nothing in particular, to be honest. What’s your favorite thing to do at the end of the day? After work I always get in, feed the animals, shower, change into something comfy and flop on the sofa in front of the TV. I love it. When did you last use a lighter or matches? About ten minutes ago to light a new candle in my burner. Do you or anyone you know have covid or the flu? Suzanne had a horrible bug thing last week.

Do you have a hard time letting things go? No. What did you last have to eat? Sweet n salted popcorn. Are you allergic to anything that is unusual? No, just nickel. When did you last feel fear? I can’t remember. What did you last drop? Errr, nothing important - maybe a spoon? Have you ever been to a Halloween themed amusement park? No. What’s something about your health that you would like to change? My back and hip problems.

When did you last look on the mirror? Err, whenever I was last in the bathroom. When did you last have to go to the doctor? I went to the dentist back in December, but for my GP it was...four years ago nearly. What color is your favorite shirt? I don’t really have a favourite. What last made you smile? The TV. Have you ever walked through a sunflower field? Nope. How often do you listen to music? Everyday - I always have it on in the car. Are you a fan of Taylor Swift? What’s your favorite song from her? Her songs are catchy but I’m not really a huge fan. Would you be happy if you got a lifetime supply of the last thing you purchased? I don’t need a regular supply of them but sure, free laptops for life would be a pretty useful thing, especially if I could pick the model and upgrade whenever I wanted to do. What’s something great that has happened to you recently? Getting full weekends off work lol. How old were you when you had your first best friend? About 3-4 years old. Her name was Lucy. Do you believe that anything is infinite? Space. What did you last order from a fast-food restaurant? I’ll include the local chippy in that - so chips with cheese and gravy plus a side of chicken bites. How often do you have to purchase shampoo and conditioner? About once a month - which reminds me, I need conditioner. What was the last pain you’ve had on your body? Back/hip pain as per usual lol. Is there anything currently bothering you? It’s SO humid. I’m sick of being sticky lol. Would you ever paint your bedroom bright blue? Yeah, like a turquoise colour would be really nice. What’s your favorite way to eat rice? Risotto or fried. Do you currently have a window open? Yeah, pretty much all the windows in the house are open right now. What kind of jacket do you like wearing most? None lol. I really don’t like wearing jackets. Do you own a sherpa blanket? Yeah, we have a red/cream one and a grey/cream one. They’re SO cosy in winter and I use mine daily from about October to April lol. Are you currently wearing something green? No. Have you recently lost something? Nothing important. What’s something that has really impacted your life? Breaking up with Chris and moving to Cumbria. What scents can you currently smell? The candle burning - it smells like Nutella brownies. What did you last have as a snack? Sweet n salted popcorn. Are you currently listening to music? No, I’m watching re-runs of Friends. Would you say you’re a strong person? Emotionally yes, physically not so much lol. What’s something you miss from the past? Not having to worry about bills and finances. When did you last rush for something? I can’t remember, it’s been too hot to rush about lately lol. Do you require a lot of personal space or do you enjoy being around people often? I definitely need personal space - at least two hours a day please, ideally more but that’s what I require to stay sane. Have you drank enough water today? I haven’t had any water today. Do you like lima beans? No. What was the last lie you told? hmm, I’m a horrible liar, so I have no idea What did you last plug into an outlet? The vacuum cleaner. Do you have anything due soon? Nope. How many bottles do you see from where you’re sitting? Zero. What was the last thing you took a picture of? The dog being cute.

#survey #surveys

0 notes

rayanasanzanaa-blog · 1 year

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I don’t know how to say this but Malaysia is awful. Now that I have a year left in Ph.D. their EMGS says we have to go back. They dumped us out first because Malaysian lives mattered more, which I understand. But that time you threw us out and did not let our newborn enter. We ended up losing everything. Now after we completely adjusted our research to be able to be virtual, because hello, it is AI, you now are forcing us to go back?! That too on top of the inflation and all? Ticket price tripled and I can’t live behind my small infants. Again Malaysia again. You always exploit international students. On top of it, I have to get special pass maybe for my children and all costs tons and that too for a year. I am having one freaking year left. The system including university is not allowing to even submit our second year review though I have proved that I am doing research. Such toxicity. Really thinking about quitting because I don’t feel like paying so much just for harassment left and right. Plus their cops are something. Immigration there smiles with all teeth out when its a white family; but looks like they smell poop when its africans or brown people. They don’t take a step back to stop even respecting elderly for medical tourism. They harassed indian tourists and do not even apologise. Who are they hiring?! Some people who wanna abuse power?! Now thanks to this absurd system, I may just quit my PhD. Not because I cannot move forward but because Malaysia showed its true colors as I mentioned in my blog during Covid and pre-pandemic, then expect us to keep succumbing. I believe the only reason still humans are being in immigration is for human reasons yea? Like emotional decisions? But if you can’t be humans, I believe it is time to move this whole garbage Immigration and border to AI which will at least not harass. What’s the benefit of having humans in such places then? Are we just paying to be humiliated and be means of someone’s weird pleasure of feeling oh-so-powerful for people who do not do anything wrong? Another thing about Malaysians, the Chinese Malaysian, a CEO apparently, MR. YONG, I don’t remember his full name, as I am writing this before bedtime, is still stealing money from me and blocked Cuckoo from taking their water purifier and stole my air purifier. Till now I am paying for the water purifier that he is using and he blocked all of us. Am abroad so I am having to either cancel the card or just let him take more. I hope all sorts of Chinese omen come true for this person and his family. My prayers will haunt him for stealing. And police report? I am abroad and pfft. Idk how much they changed now but as much as I know, they are the most horrible. Anyways, gonna make that decision. Really do not feel like being monkeys for their show and get humiliated and traumatise my kids just because they simply won’t “reinstate” our student status. Was it our fault, you Malaysia, did those ugly decisions before and literally flipped my life 360 degrees over and over? Divine justice, please make them see what they keep doing. Thanks for being here if you read my rant. I have nothing to lose anymore. Just please pray so what’s best for my family happens.

0 notes

stayathomesurveys · 1 year

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131.

Is it currently raining where you are? Nope.

What’s something that you have been wanting to say to someone? Hm. What’s your favorite thing to do at the end of the day? Lay in bed and watch TV. When did you last use a lighter or matches? The other day. Do you or anyone you know have covid or the flu? Yeah.

Do you have a hard time letting things go? Yes. What did you last have to eat? Kodiak cakes.

Are you allergic to anything that is unusual? Not really. When did you last feel fear? Idk. What did you last drop? I don’t remember. Have you ever been to a Halloween themed amusement park? I’ve been to Six Flags when it was Halloween and there was Halloween themeda activities, if that’s what you mean. What’s something about your health that you would like to change? A lot. When did you last look on the mirror? Earlier. When did you last have to go to the doctor? Yesterday. What color is your favorite shirt? I don’t have a favorite shirt. What last made you smile? :))) Have you ever walked through a sunflower field? Yes. How often do you listen to music? Basically everyday. Are you a fan of Taylor Swift? What’s your favorite song from her? Yes. Don’t get me started omg.... Would you be happy if you got a lifetime supply of the last thing you purchased? I mean, sure? What’s something great that has happened to you recently? Lost weight. How old were you when you had your first best friend? 1.5 years old. We are still friends to this day. Not as close, but still friends. Do you believe that anything is infinite? Idk? No? What did you last order from a fast food restaurant? Box combo from Cane’s. How often do you have to purchase shampoo and conditioner? Every couple months or so. What was the last pain you’ve had on your body? All of my muscles are currently sore from the gym. Is there anything currently bothering you? Yes. Would you ever paint your bedroom bright blue? Meh, no. Do you currently have a window open? Nope. What kind of jacket do you like wearing most? I like light jackets. Do you own a sherpa blanket? Yes, quite a few. Are you currently wearing something green? No. Have you recently lost something? Nope. What’s something that has really impacted your life? Being abused, depression, anxiety, eating disorder. What scents can you currently smell? I can’t really smell anything that I can pinpoint rn. What did you last have as a snack? A bite of a cookie. Are you currently listening to music? No. Would you say you’re a strong person? I guess so. What’s something you miss from the past? No responsibilities. When did you last rush for something? Yesterday. Do you require a lot of personal space or do you enjoy being around people often? It really depends on my mood. Have you drank enough water today? No. Do you like lima beans? Nope, I hate beans. What was the last lie you told? No idea. What did you last plug into an outlet? Phone. Do you have anything due soon? Bills. How many bottles do you see from where you’re sitting? 2 water bottles. What was the last thing you took a picture of? Myself.

#survey

0 notes

rambleswhatsthepoint · 1 year

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12/29/22

Another few weeks gone and here we are at the end of the year. Mom brought me Covid from Mexico lol. I only felt real-time, really sick maybe 3 days. After that I was pretty medicated and overall I felt like I only had a bad flu/cold whatever from when I was younger. Can’t believe we finally got it. Seems to be no lasting side effects. I wasn’t very hungry but thank goodness I never lost my sense of smell or taste. Talk about losing all joy from life lol. A chatty client I spoke to yesterday told me her son had Covid two years ago and never got his tastebuds back. Her daughter took 6 months to get them back.

This morning I had a terrible dream. Was at a library that somehow was also a vet office. I was there with Billy, my very first cat, cause he was sick, but I never saw him, he was already “in the back” or whatever. My mom was with me. I can’t remember the other random things going on anymore but after a while I spoke to someone who basically said there was nothing more to do and we decided it was just time for him to go to sleep. It was sad but somehow we just drove home. Then I was at a table or something and then I realized, wait I didn’t tell them WHEN. I have to be there, they wouldn’t just do it without me, but maybe they would cause I left??? And I was panicking wondering if I could get there soon enough or would I be too late. I was just full of terror. And that was when I woke up. And then my mind remembered that I was NOT there in reality. My young stupid self had not wanted to see it, thought I couldn’t see it. And it’s one of the biggest regrets of my life.

Side note I finally finished Rings of Power and I am now obsessed with Galadriel and Halbrand. The ship they kept trying to push you toward before the big reveal. I got on that ship and sailed away. What is it with dark and light? Wanting the opposites to come together. Haladriel and Darklina. Things I want that I’ll never have except in fanfics or in my mind. If I dive into it, I wonder if there’s something in there that would tell me about myself if I could only understand. The fanfic I read is all about angst, and wanting, and being torn. Does that exist in real life anymore? Does it only exist when you’re young and stupid?

Wednesday on Netflix was really good. Better than I initially expected and even the overdone social media didn’t deter me from really liking it. Even there she falls for the monster. And the other side of the triangle was a tortures artist lol.

Emily in Paris season 4 was also very good. So much drama. I feel so bad for Alfie, he didn’t deserve any of that. And I’m actually proud of Emily for minding her onions or whatever lol.

Also been watching a ton of Hallmark movies since my mom can’t really watch anything with too much violence or sex lol.

Off starting this afternoon, back to work Tuesday. Happy new year!

#online journal #my life #rambles #favorite tv shows #bad dreams

0 notes

waitingformyfavoritesongs · 1 year

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29 December 2022 12:03 am pdt

I’m trying to understand this:

Data.cdc.gov/nchs/provisional-COVID-19-deaths-by-sex-and-age/9bhg-hcku

bhg reminds me of better homes 🏠 and gardens

12:06 am pdt

12:12 am pdt

/watch?v=jJPMnTXL63E It’s lowercase l but I put it uppercase. YouTube.com. Powfu 12:14 am pdt

what is a hypocrite? Hypo = under/low? Crit = abbrev. of critical?

do I criticize myself enough?? Are some people too critical of themselves? And some not enough?? 12:16 am pdt I m so tired these days from the pain/damage. I don’t have the energy to criticize myself anymore, yet sometimes I still do, and sometimes I don’t feel like it. I’ve been through a lot. I barely do anything anymore. 12:19 am pdt

12:21 am pdt I thought I saw specific articles saying something earlier this year? I tried to check again. My cell keeps annoyingly doing a screen saver even though I touched like 5 seconds. Apple is being annoying? Or a hacker disabled the option to change the time out like I formerly was able to do. It’s grayed out and non reacting last time I remember trying to change it. So I can’t do a thorough job reading 📖 to double check. Incubus likes to alter EVERYTHING including webpages probably. 12:25 am pdt

12:26 am pdt cell phone 📱 getting HOT 🥵 now in my hands 🙌. Not plugged 🔌 in and don’t see a lot of advertisements. 12:27 am pdt

12:33 am pdt these 30 minutes flew by fast 💨 I guess the Earth 🌍 spins fast 💨. 12:24 am pdt

Genius.com

/19216884?

powfu deathbed

12:45 am pdt it says he wrote he imagined what it would be like if he were in that position. 12:46 am pdt

12:49 am pdt 🔼d my mind not going 2 type now. 12:51 am pdt

12:53 am pdt never ending storyyyyyy whaoh oh oh oooooh 12:55 am pdt 🌎 w/o end 12:55 am pdt 🚽 56

4:38 am pdt I usually don’t go out alone. I don’t have friends anymore. I don’t have money 💰. My mom handles all the money 💰. I gave her whatever I had left. While I eat my food 🍱 the demon lord slips bad things onto my lips 👄 and tongue 👅 that sometimes tastes the way raw meat 🥩 smells 👃 . Sometimes it tastes the way poop 💩 smells. He is probably going to continue putting random stuff and I don’t want to imagine what that’s going to be. I remember before my parents separated and my dad had to watch me when I had a temperature 🤒 he called the doctor 👨‍⚕️ and the doctor 👩‍⚕️ said to put a shallowly fill the tub 🛀 with water 💦 and have me lay in it. I wonder if Whitney Houston had this problem. I think she died with heart disease in the bathtub. Whenever I have water I cannot breathe (4:50) or fruit or juice 🧃 he gives me vertigo now. I think he’s giving me heat strokes so I die of heart ❤️ 💔💔💔💔😭😭😭😞😭😞😞😞disease. 4:48 am pdt 4:50 am pdt and my mom doesn’t always come to me when I call her and doesn’t always give me what I want. He gives me diarrhea after I eat or drink anything and everything. 4:52 am pdt sometimes I have solid #2 but I wonder if that’s from dehydration? He gave me diarrhea after the most recent time I had a smoothie. And the last time I had ice cream 🍨 4:55 am pdt I’ve had seemingly exponentially more heart ❤️ pain this week and I expect things to get worse. I expect leakiness soon if it isn’t already happening. I have had a lot of abdominal and below bellybutton pain 4:57 am pdt 4:58 am pdt he tears at my in my mouth 👄 4:58 am pdt 4:59 am pdt

5:42 am pdt 5:41 am pdt btwn 2017 and 2 years ago I saw 👀 a billboard that said: by the time you know everything it will be too late.

I believe that. I am going through a lot of pain and it the damage won’t be reversible with the way they are towards/treating me. The hospital 🏥 won’t give me what I need which is oxygen. They will only give it to me if it’s poisoned poison ☠️ probably or when it’s too late. That’s God’s game plan. And that’s why they all have malpractice insurance. 5:47 am pdt and that’s probably why they get paid a lot of money 💴 bcz their god is the devil and that’s the only way capitalism works. How many people really are not making enough money and don’t get sick 🤒? They say 1% and 99%. But I want to know all the numbers. So that I really know. Bcz 99% is a lot of people in pain. Makes manifest destiny look like a ton of lies. But bcz we are usually retarded and controlled we fall for it? Every time I take a shower 🚿 I anticipate the demon lord peeling my skin with chemicals. It noticed it happened the last 2 times I did. And a lot last year, but the last 2 years I’ve been avoiding showering 🧼 a lot so I thought before that it was natural to peel a lot. Earlier this year (ow acidic feeling hot pee when I coughed) I rubbed off a lot of skin after getting very hot 🥵. I thought then it was my skin burning 🔥 off turning into ash. I once heard a girl saying her knees are ashy many years ago. Then I thought she was being creative with words? That she was only describing what it looked like, not what it really was. A small black girl in Oakland? probably about 8 or 9 years old? In public. For some reason i remembered it. 5:57 am pdt Christians ... are they hostages of god? Forced to praise him or face (ow! 😫😖😭 acidic spikes in pee going to anus) the consequences... god is a womanizer. That’s why he put Britney Spears in conservatorship and made her afraid 😱 that her father was going to sterilize her. That’s not love. ❤️ 💔 I don’t trust her father? I don’t know him. But if that’s an available procedure the people who do it aren’t human. They are demonic. Doctors 🥼 did lobotomies? Demonic. There is plasticity - recovery - but I doubt it if they lobotomy. Question EVERYTHING. Don’t trust people with your health. ANY STRANGER. Bcz that’s what doctors are, aren’t they? 6:05 am pdt in a dog eats dog world 🌎. Why is it dog eats dog 🐶 when there’s a god? Bcz god is like that? We know bad people exists bcz he does bad things to people. WOMANIZER! He can become anyone he wants to be in a moment to FOOL us. He’s a chameleon. Shape shifters. Breathe 🧘🏻‍♀️ and life thief. My life was filled with pain everyday. Even when I joined the running teams in high school 🏫 I had shin splints. 6:09 am pdt he can make people sound like they are lying 🤥 when they are telling the truth and vice versa. When lies become the truth that’s when I run to you🎶🎼🎵🎧🎸 lady antebellum /lady A. 6:11 am pdt I don’t breathe most of the time. I cough 😷 bcz of hot air in my lungs 🫁 from him burning 🔥 me alive. Some martyrs set themselves on fire 🔥. I wonder 💭 why. 6:13 am pdt I read Adam Noah Levine was in New York when he got the dove 🕊 (w/ cherry 🍒 blossoms? Sakura?) tattoo that’s now covered up 🆙 with a christhanthemum. He is probably trying to erase the proof that he was there. I read he got it 6 days after 9/11/2001. 6:16 am pdt I still DON’T trust YOU Adam Noah Levine! 😡🤬🥵😤 I WILL NEVER 👎 TRUST YOU!!!! You use the truth to lie! 6:17 am pdt I bet your dick has been in 100+ vaginas!!!! 😭😖😭😖😭😖😭🤬🤬🤬🤬🥵🥵🥵🥵😤😤😤😤😭😭😭😭😭 sloppy second dick x1000000000000000000000000 6:19 am pdt 6:20 6:23 am pdt Amy Turk harp. I liked her cover of love me like you do. No one loves me but I love that rendition. 😵😞😭 6:24 am pdt

I need to rewrite that line: I DON’T TRUST ADAM NOAH LEVINE! And I will probably die feeling that way. 6:41 am pdt

6:45 am pdt I also remember days when I had whole body pain in high school from track and field practice and in December 2014 I think it was after I bought an ikea kitchen cart and I tried to assemble it myself and I felt like I might have over exerted myself and then my period happened and whole body pain that it hurt to breathe for days. 6:48 am pdt there are too many of us for god to know all of us. Tauren wells might have been lied to. Known. When lies become the truth that’s when I run to you. If it was already decided I would be sacrificial lamb = Aries, why invest in getting to know me and really getting/becoming attached? He lied to me. I would really prefer not to be lied to about marriage and children. Marriage is for making children. So don’t lie about that. I never told anyone that I was pregnant. (Includes the time I took plan b pills 💊 (it was a 2 pill set.).) And I never tested positive for pregnancy. The 4th guy I did it with, I tried not to do it again too soon but he played hard to get after I turned him down for a kiss even though I was interested in getting to know him. I gave in probably bcz of my curse. Thinking that he won’t give me a chance unless we kiss or do it. Which looks like it turned out to be the case. I think I never saw his 🍆. It felt, small. He twisted my legs intentionally... and I think it was bcz he was aware that it was small. Demon lord incubus you are cruel. Inhuman. Demonic. If everyone in the world really knew you, I believe they would run from you. 6:58 am pdt ow he cut my vag when I coughed after I could not breathe from him burning me. He cut my gum again 😖😞😭 6:59 am pdt 7:02 am pdt

7:26 am pdt I am perpetually frowning now leave me alone incubus! 😫😩 7:27 am pdt

7:52 am pdt this is probably already known by a lot of people, but I am going to put it here for those you made retarded and don’t look 👀 like it: something that not all of us realize: if you have a fear of getting pregnant 🤰 bcz you think 🤔 it looks hard, probably should be cautious. If you are very small, I suspect a caesarean might be performed on you when you are due. I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ for sure but someone told me they were thin in high school 🏫. & she was big when I met her, but maybe it was after pregnancies🤰 ???? She said she had caesarean for all 3 pregnancies. She said they rip 🪦 your muscles open when they do it. NOT nice and NOT fun. 7:59 am pdt I suspect god has some more bad stuff prepared for the future that a lot of people don’t know about yet. Probably some past stuff, too, that he’s recycling that he made people ignorant of by withholding and gas lighting. 8 am pdt

8:40 am pdt he keeps putting 8:39 in my face. Which looks similar to the word “beg.” I read a small catholic answers book 📚 a little. I read that a demon NEVER changes it’s/their mind. So I think that means they will always torture me or you. If a demon is guilty of doing something wrong do you think he’s ever going to change his mind and let your truth be known? NO HE WILL NOT. “Dead men tell no tales.” And before murder, i read narcissists turn your family and friends and everyone against you and the devil uses desolation like it says in the apocalypse- I read online unless I’m being gas ⛽️ lit 🔥 on that. I’m burned so I guess it’s true. 8:46 am pdt desolation sounds like the same thing a narcissist devil does? 8:47 am pdt I bet no one real sees my tumblr. 🥵😭😖😭😫😞 and no one will remember. And no one will know what’s real. 8:49 am pdt

4:06 pm pdt what the hell is communism? Saw a note 📝 on the podcast reblog?? Does anyone really know anything? I don’t remember what I read well on Wikipedia. I think I might have read something about nazis 🔼ing platforms? Too much terminology?? Too many 🔼ing meanings/definitions?? In this world 🌎 it looks communist countries such as China 🇨🇳?? Take part in capitalism. Almost everything was made in China 🇨🇳 up until recently. Basically, it looks like “communism” has supplied proletariats/working class in factories 🏭 to our capitalism structure. It’s very plainly out there. Now it’s the ndia. If you ever looked at where clothing comes from it would mostly come from poorer? countries. Someone told me there are limits to how many pieces of clothing can come from one country to to the u.s. Adolf hitler looks like a doll if hit ill-er. 😵🤛💥 4:16 pm pdt

4:23 pm pdt so empty my heart ❤️ my soul can’t go on 🎶🎼🎵 what is love 💕? Does it exist ? Is the only real love ❤️ between mother and newborn 👶? 4:25 pm pdt what is that? What does love ❤️ feel like?

4:26 pm pdt

4:47 pm pdt tried to upload 🆙 39 images. 2nd time I tried this month? Still not working. 4:48 pm pdt

4:50 pm pdt what is black Adam? A lot of old people died. 4:51 pm pdt more #3 pains. I have not eaten since 9:13 am. 😖😵😞😤😭🥵⛽️🔥 4:53 pm pdt kagome = bird cage? = power go go me? —> siren 🚨 half bird 🦅 🦢 bird 🐦 angel 😇 demon fallen angel. Falling with style bcz has wings. The go go dancer 💃 in a cage. Nicholas cage. I was tricked into seeing a movie 🍿 that I probably would have never chosen on my own. My mom’s boyfriend at the time chose it. We lived with him simmer summer of 2009? Until October? 2010. My mom stayed until ≈Xmas? Or after new year 2011. 5 pm pdt 😞😭😵 5:01 pm pdt

now when I think 💭 of Iran 🇮🇷 Kurdish people cutting their hair I think of king David bathsheba 🛁 soap 🧼 disco 🕺🏻 karas flowers 🌸 flowers 💐 flowers 🌺 and deshana barber 💈 miss America 🇺🇸? Pageant winner? And now sacrificial lambs/rams = Jesus. Jesuis? French I am? Run 🏃🏻‍♀️ around Sue stay away from that girl 🎶🎼🎵 suzie Suez Canal—>> Zeus Jupiter. Who is who? Are kettles and pots both black? Ah beh ceh Che deh ehleh ehye beh la sick. Ck. Bella 🛎 🔔. A girl 👧 like you. 😵🎼🎵🎶genji. Incubus. Genji=incubus. Incubus power and happiness. Not my happiness. Not my lover not friend. We don’t always have to try 🎵🎶🎼 slavery. 5:14 pm pdt he puts the 3:33 in front of me a lot. 😭😵😖 5:15 pm pdt

#youtube #actors #adamnoahlevine #adamlevine

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suckitsurveys · 1 year

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Is it currently raining where you are? No, but it is snowing, though. I think it’s going to be a mix at some point today, though.

What’s something that you have been wanting to say to someone? I REALLY want to fucking say something to my brother in law but I don’t want my relationship with my nieces to be strained. What’s your favorite thing to do at the end of the day? Just chill out? Maybe have a small sweet snack and play something on my phone or computer or watch TV with Mark. When did you last use a lighter or matches? The other day.

Do you or anyone you know have covid or the flu? Not currently. Do you have a hard time letting things go? Yeah. What did you last have to eat? The last thing I ate was last night’s dinner which was cajun chicken sandwiches. Are you allergic to anything that is unusual? Some medication called bactrim or something. It’s for UTIs. When did you last feel fear? Always in a stare of some kind of fear/panic honestly. What did you last drop? A food container. Luckily nothing spilled out of it. Have you ever been to a Halloween themed amusement park? Fright Fest at 6 Flags? What’s something about your health that you would like to change? My weight. When did you last look on the mirror? This morning. What color is your favorite shirt? Black. What last made you smile? A picture I saw on IG. Have you ever walked through a sunflower field? Yes. How often do you listen to music? At least once a day, in some form or another. Are you a fan of Taylor Swift? What’s your favorite song from her? She has some incredibly catchy songs and I’m actually digging her new album a lot. My favorite song off of there is probably Maroon. But All Too Well (10 Min Version) is definitely my favorite of her’s. Would you be happy if you got a lifetime supply of the last thing you purchased? A lifetime supply of gas would actually be amazing. What’s something great that has happened to you recently? I mean, a small handful of things. How old were you when you had your first best friend? Kindergarten. Do you believe that anything is infinite? No. What did you last order from a fast food restaurant? I took my nieces to McDonald’s the other day after school and I ordered a small root beer and some fries for myself; a double cheese burger (with JUST pickles, Auntie!!!!!!!!!), fries, and a small root beer for my 9yo niece; and a4pc McNugget Happy Meal with fries and a chocolate milk for my 4yo niece. How often do you have to purchase shampoo and conditioner? Maybe once a month or more? Mark has like no hair and I don’t wash mine that often (dry shampoo is my best friend), especially when it’s freshly dyed. What was the last pain you’ve had on your body? My feet are killing me. Is there anything currently bothering you? ^The aforementioned feet Would you ever paint your bedroom bright blue? Certain shades of it, perhaps. What’s your favorite way to eat rice? Weird, this question was on the last survey I did too. I think I said “with my mouth” as the answer like a smart ass, but now I will say “rolled up in sushi.” Do you currently have a window open? No, its freezing here. What kind of jacket do you like wearing most? A puffy one that goes past my butt. Do you own a sherpa blanket? Yes. Are you currently wearing something green? I am not. Have you recently lost something? I can’t remember. What’s something that has really impacted your life? My brother in law entering my sister’s life. What scents can you currently smell? The perfume I used a bit of this morning. What did you last have as a snack? A Snickers bar. Are you currently listening to music? No. Would you say you’re a strong person? In some ways, sure. What’s something you miss from the past? Road trips. When did you last rush for something? ...this was in the last survey too....I rushed to get to work again today. I absolutely need to work on this. I need to go to bed earlier. Do you require a lot of personal space or do you enjoy being around people often? I like space, but I do like being around people today. Have you drank enough water today? I am starting to think this survey stole exact questions from another one, or vise versa, because this one was also in the last one. Anyway, it’s still early. Do you like lima beans? I’m not sure, actually. I haven’t tried them in a while. What was the last lie you told? Uhhhh. What did you last plug into an outlet? The Christmas lights in the office. Do you have anything due soon? The credit card bill is due tomorrow. How many bottles do you see from where you’re sitting? I can see two water bottles, a bottle of some sort of cleaning agent, and a bottle of hand sanitizer. What was the last thing you took a picture of? A couple of ornaments on the tree.

#surveys #at work

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blue-eyed-bloodstains · 2 years

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What’s a TV show you’ve gotten into recently? OH MY FUCKING GOD! THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY! I can’t even put into words how obsessed I am with it and I need season 4 like NOW!

Do you have a hard time remembering your dreams? most of the time yeah, I will for the first few minutes of waking up from them but if I try to remember details after that it’s all a blur

Have you ever or are you on any type of anti-depressant? both been on and am currently. most of the ones in the past ended up making things worse, one of which damn near ended in suicide so...yeah Have you ever seen the movie Jennifer’s body? I know of it but no and never wanted to What was the last thing you painted? I don’t paint, wish I knew how to

What’s your favorite 90s song? .....seriously? we’ll be here all day lol Donuts or muffins? meh not a big fan of either What’s something you’ve been thinking about? more like what am I not thinking about constantly...? Do you or anyone you know have asthma? I don’t, and as far as I know no one I know does given I’ve never seen anyone with an inhaler but who knows What time is it currently? 7:55am Do you ever stay up late to see the moon at its peak? not for that but I have seen it several times at that time What does your phone case look like? gray and glittery

Are you doing alright today? meh What’s your favorite fizzy drink? any soda really Have you ever written a song? plenty of em yeah, just been in a writer’s block really bad for the last few years but I’ll get back to it eventually I’m sure...god knows I’ve got plenty of material right now :/ When did you last pump gas? ....before I totaled my car so mid March... Do you own a gun? no but my fiance owns a few so they’re in the house Do you like milk in your coffee or tea? I don’t drink tea so yeah coffee for sure although I’ll drink it black no problem too Do you have a lazy eye? no Is your room normally messy or tidy? messy Do you enjoy windy days? if it’s a cool breeze to cool me down yeah Do you experience second hand embarrassment? sometimes What makes you feel confident? not a damn thing What’s your self care routine? I don’t have one What would you define as “heartbreak weather”? thunder/lightning (especially since I have a phobia of thunder) and rain together Do you have a flower bed or flowers planted around your place of residence? no What was the last thing you said out loud? I’m singing to music so lyrics lol What’s the last thing you remembered that you had recently forgotten? my appointment this Sunday for my second Covid vaccination What color is your shirt? black Do you have any regrets from this past week? yep, usually do What scents do you currently smell? smoke from my cig What’s your favorite favorite chip/crisps? oh lord I’m a chip freak lol so pretty much most of them What’s your favorite snacks? look above I’ll snack on pretty much anything and got too many faves to list Have you ever experienced vertigo? all the time, pretty much anytime I’m on my feet for more than a few minutes and nowhere to be able to sit for awhile in between What apps do you use the most on your phone? Facebook, Pokemon Go, Candy Crush, Doordash, Youtube Who is someone you find to be pretty? my stepsister What’s the heaviest weight you’ve ever lifted? probably a box during one of many many moves but not sure of the exact weight it was What color is the current object you’re sitting on? it’s a gray/blue plaid couch Do you enjoy coloring books still? hell yeah I’d kill for one right now actually

#survey #about me #bored

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hansolmates · 4 years

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remote learning (m)

summary; working remote sucks, and you would love a little relief. after buying a new toy to blow off some steam, you’re baffled when you can’t cum. however, jungkook thinks you’re doing it wrong, and shows you a thing or two. pairing; neighbor!jungkook x (f) reader genre/warnings; fluff, humor, slightly insecure mc, this is pure FILTH—use of a remote controlled vibrator, do not and i repeat DO NOT try foreplay during a zoom call in the event u get fired im not responsible, phone sex, jungkook’s a meanie in control, cum eating, doggy, and topping it off with some sweet missionary bc jk has purty eyes, unprotected (wrap the pickle before u tickle folks) excessive use of the petname [redacted] w/c; 5.7k a/n; this fic manifested bc of work. and i!! am!! frustrated!! i think we all need a lil jk relief so here it goes! as always ty to @chillingtae / @eerieedits for this FANTASTIC fic banner, please go check vivi out if u have taste okok part 2: distance learning drabbles; 01

if u like this fic pls consider giving it a like and a share💕💕💕💕

“Tomorrow morning, same time at 9AM. Remember to have your reports alphabetized and itemized,” your supervisor says, but the only thing you can focus on is the abnormal amount of bonsai plants in his living room.

“Alright now it’s time for the union to talk COVID protocol,” you frown when Mr. Kim moves ownership of the Zoom call to your union rep, who pulls up a Powerpoint. You feel your eyes burn at the sight: an itinerary containing over thirty-eight slides.

“For fuck’s sake—”

You so desperately want to turn off the camera and flop in your bed. Since working remotely you haven’t been operating in the most ideal of workspaces. You live in a one-room apartment with a communal kitchen downstairs, so you really only have four square meters to stretch your limbs around between breaks. You’ve pushed your bed aside and shoved an office chair between the bed and the wall, leaving you to squirm between ten centimeters of space. You have no desk because well, the little rectangle space is prioritized for your portable stove and meals.

The meeting drones on for another hour, until your brain melts to liquid and your limbs feel like Jell-O. Furthering your anxiety as they talk about protocol that never ends up happening, delays that continue to pile up, and the anger that’s been bubbling between the higher ups and little goldfish employees like you.

When you finally shut off the camera and fling your laptop under the bed, you still feel unsettled. Probably because your work life and home life have merged together, and it’s hard for you to separate work and pleasure.

Speaking of pleasure.

Your hand blindly reaches under your bed, looking for the pretty pink oval you purchased last week. Cleaned and ready to use, the little remote-controlled vibrator sits plainly in your palm.

Needless to stay you’ve been in a bit of a dry spot these past few months. With a fear to go out and meet someone new, you’ve been left with yourself and your fantasies. That’s fine, but lately your old vibrator isn’t cutting it. It’s unfortunate, you think you’re messing up your libido by buying toy after toy, but you’re horny and lonely.

Linking your phone’s app to the remote, you ignore the messages that have been beeping your feed since early morning.

[11:21] Jeon: let’s do lunch!

[11:23] Jeon: hehe i feel like i belong in mean girls. Do lunch💁🏻‍♀️💁🏻‍♀️💁🏻‍♀️

[2:20] Jeon: u loozer. Come eat dinner with us upstairs @6

[2:24] Jeon: dropping off a snack for u

Another element of feeling horny and lonely? Jeon Jungkook.

You two shouldn’t have even met each other. You live off crumbs on the first floor while he and his roommates are livin’ it up on top in the penthouse. One day a few months ago he crashed into you while working out, having run up and down the whole flight of stairs at least three times before deciding to collapse on you between the second and first floor.

Despite the black mask that hugged his sharp jawline, you had felt nothing but attractiveness ooze off of him. Under his hoodie was nothing but curved muscle. He smelled so soft and sweet despite the fact that he was damp with sweat.

The rest is history. After that day he seemed to show up everywhere, jogging more prominently on your floor and doing exercises at your level’s gym. He says he likes you, likes your company. He’s wormed his way intermittently, whether he’s seeing you struggle with an armful of groceries or when he hears you screaming over an Among Us match (according to Jungkook, the walls are thinner on the bottom floors.)

The idea of Jungkook doting on you doubly frustrates you. He seemingly appears as the perfect man, unaffected by the stresses of the world. Jungkook’s job lets him work from home anyway, and he definitely had enough room in the penthouse for his own office. He works out, probably has a girlfriend and enough friends for you to gradually phase out of this weird neighbor interest.

So you ignore his seemingly harmless messages, focusing on getting the settings right on the vibrator. You feel your pussy jolt a little in excitement, watching the silver and pearl pink oval shake in your grasp. You smile a bit to yourself, immediately finding your iPad for your favorite videos and some pillows to support your back.

Half an hour later however, that excitement soon goes sour.

“Fuck,” you bite your lip, frustrated tears streaming down your face, “fuck fuck fuck!”

This isn’t a set of explicatives out of pleasure, unfortunately.

No matter what you do, you won’t cum. You can’t cum. Barely wet, hardly a drop glossing your folds. You don’t even want to bother getting out the lube at this point because you are so disappointed.

The vibrator is going at the highest setting, one that your neighbors can probably hear if they were home at this time of the day. You cease to care at this point, because the job is undone because you haven’t come undone.

You don’t know why this is happening. Maybe it’s because you’ve had the liberty to touch yourself in complete silence, now that your neighbors have been confined to their homes indefinitely. Maybe it’s because it’s been so long since you’ve relied only on your touch, that your body is tired of the monotony and needs more.

You bang the heels of your feet against your flimsy mattress, feeling whiny and utterly dissatisfied. Pulling the vibrator from your clit, you glare at the infuriating toy.

“You’re supposed to be helping me out of my dry spell,” you chastise, throwing the toy across the bed, sliding onto the carpet, “I get you’re not Jeon’s dick, but you gotta help a sister out.”

With a sigh, you fall into a bout of exhaustion. Not from a round of orgasms, but from the week’s stress and no way to let it out.

You wake up bleary and disoriented, practically melding through the mattress. The sky is pink and blue, washed in a sea of corals and purples. It comes from the incessant banging.

“Stop it,” you whine more to yourself than whoever dares to disturb your sleep, pulling up your panties and a pair of navy dolphin-trim shorts. “Whoever you are I’m comin’ so stop!”

Swinging the door open in two strides you’re met with a chipper Jeon Jungkook; looking all cute and sweet in his big hoodie and smelling like a rosebud.

“It’s 6:30,” he narrows his eyes playfully at you, “dinner’s in the oven.”

“You left your oven on,” you deadpan, turning around to grimace at the mess that’s your one-room apartment.

“Yes, so we have exactly ten minutes before my kitchen explodes in flames,” Jungkook chirps, closing the door behind you.

You don’t even bother to tell him to excuse the mess, ignore the pile of bras hanging on your vanity and the unpacked groceries that sit at the edge of your mini-fridge. It’s far too late to salvage your dignity and Jungkook’s too damn polite to call you out on your state of slob. Although, as you pull out a bottle of wine tucked in the back of your fridge you blurt, “I can hear your fingers tingling to clean up my mess.”

When you turn around Jungkook stuffs his hands in the kangaroo pocket of his hoodie, supposedly to stop himself from cleaning up. With a pout he says, “Can’t help it, Jimin says I’m currently manifesting a strong display of Virgo energy this month. Whatever that means.”

Jabbing your feet in a pair of slides you follow Jungkook out the door. The hallways are quiet and barren, yet the silence isn’t suffocating as you two pile into the elevator. Jungkook opens the keypad underneath the regular boring buttons, revealing a sleek little set of light-up buttons that have the code to the penthouse. Faaaannnnccy.

“Tryna look?” he jokes, cupping his hands to block your vision.

You scoff, “I’m sure it’s something easy like 0000.”

“You’re wrong. It’s 1234,” he replies cheekily.

The door dings open and you’re met with yet another door. Jungkook presses his thumb to the biometric scanner, and a pleasant ringer tings in response.

The penthouse smells like a mix of tonight’s dinner, savory, combined with a cinnamon apple candle. Jungkook is a fan of scented candles, ever since he got a whiff of your lavender vanilla burner.

“Where’s Taehyung?” you ask, more out of your own anxiousness than anything. Taehyung’s your buffer, the hyper roommate being someone to distract you from Jungkook’s incessant aura.

“Dunno,” he shrugs, flicking on the oven light to peer inside. You see the telltale signs of a mean lasagna, the shredded cheese on top crisping to a delicious-looking golden brown, “anyway, you’re my friend first.”

As grotesque as it sounds, Jungkook always finds his way to worm his way under your skin and find homage there. “Possessive much?” you quirk a brow, folding your arms over your chest even though there’s nothing to hide.

“What can I say,” Jungkook’s legs stretch out as he squats down to your level, “I really fell for you.”

“Gross,” you try to convince yourself, ignoring the thudding in your chest, “you technically fell on me, weirdo.”

Dinner is a quick affair. He cuts slices of lasagna and brings it to the couch, where you’re pouring glasses of wine in crystal glasses. They’re so clean and shiny you can see your reflection in the gold liquid. You grimace at the bottle, normally this would be poured in a mug or your sippy cup, tonight your liquid’s getting a high-end pour.

You two pull up an old anime to fill up the room, but most of it is spent in playful banter. Jungkook prattles on about his day, showing you all the cool updates he’s achieved during work. An app developer. A very on-brand, lucrative job for him. You love your job but it isn’t nearly as exciting as Jungkook’s, so you just let yourself be supportive and ask questions when needed.

When the subject of you comes up, you shake your head and stuff your face with another cut of al dente pasta.

“Not interestin’ Jeon,” you mumble, groaning at how delicious his cooking is. What can’t he do? “Is this oregano? Is the secret ingredient toasted oregano—”

“You’re deflecting.”

Your shoulders slump, “I’m not very interesting, I tell you everything I do during the week and nothing has changed since March.”

“Oh, not everything,” Jungkook mutters under his breath. You furrow your brows as his hands stuff themselves in his hoodie pocket. Is he upset you won’t tell him about your work stress? “And you’re very interesting, I’ll have you know.”

“Yeah?” a small smile tugs on your lips. You sink further into his cottonball of a couch, feeling utterly soft and meldable at his words.

“Very,” Jungkook gets up from the couch, looking down at you, “want something sweet?”

The prospect of dessert has you excited. Jungkook really is the perfect man, so kind and knows exactly when you’re craving something for your sweet tooth. You move to get up, only for you to sink further between the two large cushions of the loveseat. “Help me, ’m stuck,” you pout.

Jungkook giggles, and holds out his palm, “Hand,” he says simply.

You immediately reach for his larger palm, and you gasp when you feel something cold and soft touch your palm. As if you’ve been burned, you tug your hand back. But Jungkook’s hand is massive, the large ink-painted palm curling around your own, and it’s almost painful the way he clutches your hand so fiercely.

When he’s sure you’re not going to drop it, he releases your hand.

Nestled in your palm, is the new vibrator you left on the carpet this afternoon.

“Jeon,” you laugh tonelessly, hating the way Jungkook’s neutral expression mocks you, “you found my USB? Thanks, I know—”

“Know that you’re having a hard time coming?” Carefully extracting your plate from your lap, he places it on the coffee table before Jungkook cages you between the couch. You shrink further into the plush seat, “I tried being a good neighbor, but you didn’t answer my texts. I heard you when I tried dropping off some snacks before dinner. Didn’t know you were into toys.”

“Oh, c’mon Jeon. It’s 2020 and we’re confined,” well, in this scenario you’re confined, “everyone has a sex toy.”

“Hm, I don’t have one,” Jungkook bites the inside of his cheek, pretending to be deep in thought, “so, can you be my toy?”

Fuck.

It’s then that you feel the tell-tale signs of arousal. Your eyes widen, innocently surprised at the fact that Jeon Jungkook contained so much power in so few words. You snap your legs shut immediately, sealing any possibility of you dripping down your panties.

“I heard how disappointed you were, doll,” his arms have no problems as he bends down so he’s eye-level with your crotch, “it was pathetic, really. You couldn’t even cum on your own? You need someone to help you?”

“N-no,” you cross your arms defensively, frowning, “you–you’re being mean, Jeon.”

“And what, you’re gonna cry about it?” Jungkook smirks, now sitting on his knees. His hands run over the velvety fabric of the couch, making a beeline for your thighs. Gooseflesh rises to the surface, and he immediately presses down to iron out the little bumps that travel across your skin, “I do wanna make you cry, but not because you can’t cum. You’ll cry because of how good I’m gonna make you feel.”

You gape, clutching the vibrator in your hand.

A little bit of your sweet, cute Jungkook resurfaces, softening when he notices your lack of response, “If you’ll let me, of course.”

You finally drag the words from your throat, “I-it’s been a long time since I’ve… been with someone.”

He tilts his head, “Same here. I just figured we could break that spell together.”

What are you going to say? No? A dishonor to your sexuality, that would be. Jungkook’s offering himself up on a silver platter, and even though you do wish it was a little more you’ll take the sex.

You nod, forgetting to speak again. Jungkook chuckles.

“I want to hear you say it, doll.”

Doll. Like you’re his little fucktoy, malleable and bendable to all his whims. Fuck, why is that so hot to you? “Yes, I want to have sex with you,” you declare, your voice sounding more breathy than confident, “a-and, you can be mean. If you want.”

His thumbs press little light indents in your skin, over and over as if fascinated by the way your skin is so soft and gummy in his grip. “Okay,” Jungkook doesn’t hesitate to pull out his phone, jabbing a few things that you don’t see, “let’s do a little test drive, then.”

In seconds, the little egg vibrates in your touch. He puts it on the lowest setting, a soft buzz echoing in the large living room, then at a bruising pace that forces you to curl your fingers around it otherwise it’d fall. Your eyes flicker over to Jungkook’s, who’s focusing entirely on the way the pink and silver egg moves, dilated in interest.

“Fuck, and you thought this thing was broken?” he asks, taking it out of your palm and turning off the app.

“Maybe I’m the broken one,” you admit softly, wringing your shirt.

Silence seeps. Jungkook looks at you, brows furrowed as if he’s annoyed. “Don’t ever say that,” when you don’t respond, he grabs your chin, and you gasp when he forces you to look at him, “you’re not broken, doll. Everyone’s body is different, and we’re going to discover yours together. Got it?”

“Y-yes,” you reply immediately, mesmerized by his seriousness.

“Good,” he slaps the vibrator back in your palm, “and in case you’re wondering, this goes inside.”

“I know how it works,” you scowl, “but won’t you show me, just in case?”

“You would like that, wouldn’t you?” Jungkook gets up for good, piling the dishes in his arms and walking to the sink. You immediately miss his warmth, “but I think patience is a virtue. I have a developer meeting with some clients in America a little bit, actually. So just wait for my call, yeah?”

You frown, looking down at the vibrator in your hands. How much longer would you have to wait?

It happens at exactly three in the afternoon the next day, at the start of your staff meeting. You’re so tired of the same information being thrown back and forth, coupled with Brian and Jae having to fight over some mundane subject in the itinerary that no one cares about. For goodness sake, it’s Friday! What else would you possibly need to be meeting about?

You’re wearing a button-down dress shirt on top, no pants on the bottom. Your bare feet slap against the hardwood floor, antsy. It’s been a long day at work and your back hurts, you’re half tempted to dip out of this meeting and hope no one notices.

Your phone buzzes on your bed, and you blanch.

[3:01] Jeon: thanks for waiting, doll. It’s time

[3:01] Jeon: put it in

Shamelessly, your vibrator sits next to your phone, cleaned and ready to go.

[3:02] Jeon: need help? Answer my call

Making sure that your Zoom call is muted, you quickly answer the incoming phone call. Jungkook and you say nothing at first, waiting. The phone just ticks with the amount of time passing, one minute, two minutes, and so on.

Mr. Kim drones unknowingly, “So when we do return to live instruction, expect a strict process when returning. PPE must be enforced so our response team will—”

“How wet were you last night when you went home?” Jungkook asks languidly, speaking over your boss’ voice.

Your eyes widen, flickering back and forth between the phone and the camera displaying Mr. Kim’s boring speech.

“Doll, are you hard of hearing?”

“N-no,” your lips barely move, eyes glued to the camera and plastering an expressionless face, “I heard you.”

“Then give me an answer,” he says patiently, “how wet were you?”

“Very wet.”

“Little more detail.”

“Soaking wet,” you flush, thankful that your work laptop can only stream in 360p. “I haven’t gotten that wet in such—such a long time. My pussy was practically clinging to my underwear when I washed up that night.”

A heady, heavy groan resonates through your phone. You feel that voice straight into your panties, jolting the nerves awake.

“Fuck, you have a way with words, don’t you?” Jungkook chuckles breathlessly, “c’mon, touch yourself for me. Swirl your fingers around your clit, slowly.”

It takes a second for you to position yourself, spreading your legs in a way that your coworkers don’t question why you’re moving so much. A quick scan over all the tired faces says that you’re okay. Shyly, you press your fingers against your clit, doing as he says.

“Oh,” you say more to yourself than him, feeling the wetness already coating your fingers. This is earlier than usual.

“What?”

“I’m already wet,” you say, amazed, “I haven’t gotten wet this quickly in a long time.”

He scoffs, “If you’re so wet now, shove it in.”

You frown. You did tell him to be mean. But the idea of him telling you what to do, giving you all the porn-worthy experiences to accomplish has you relenting. Discreetly grabbing the egg from the bed, you bring it down to your panties. Swirling the cold metal around your clit, you coat it in your juices.

It’s still a little too early to be putting anything in, but you can take it. Slowly relaxing, you slip the little egg in your pussy, wiggling it a little to make sure it’s secure. It’s a strange sort of pressure, and it pokes against your clit from the inside, but you enjoy the stretch.

“It’s in,” you reply softly.

“Good.”

You wait. You listen to Jae make yet another speech about the importance of masks and gloves, and then Brian has to interject and say that gloves are literally useless because they spread germs around no matter what. Even though everyone else is muted, you can practically feel the misery seeping through the screen. For a second you almost forget about Jungkook on the line. Why isn’t Mr. Kim stopping them? This is the thin line stopping you from the weekend, unbelievable!

“Eep!” you jolt in your cheap seat, the egg buzzing in your pussy. Your hands fly out, gripping the edges of your computer.

It hits different when Jungkook is in control. Knowing that with a flick of his thumb he can have you careening, whining for more or less depending on how hard he wants you go. Your folds hug the egg, nestling it a fleshy grip as it brushes against your clit the more you squirm.

“You look so pretty, trying so hard to hold in your moans,” Jungkook says wondrously from the other line.

“W-what?” you frown, “you can see me?”

And immediately, you go to your trackpad to fish between the hundred-and-one employees also in this call. At the very end, you see a very simple name with no mic or camera: Jeon JK. He’s here.

“Worked in IT, doll. Know a thing or two,” he says, “now, tell me. What are you thinking about right now?”

“Y-you,” you mumble shyly.

“So,” Mr. Kim finally ends that part of the meeting, thank goodness, “what’s everyone’s plans this weekend? I’m going apple picking with a couple of my friends from college. Hoseok is a bright bean who loves to take long walks—”

What the hell. You squirm uncomfortably in your seat, hyperaware that Jungkook’s watching your every move. You make glossy, stubborn eyes at the camera, trying not to move when he jacks up the vibrator to a higher setting.

Jae’s of course the next employee to unmute his microphone, “Well, me and the bae are going house hunting…”

“Fuck!” you cry, moving the computer to the left so you can pretend you’re picking up something. But in fact you're leaning your head against your mattress, frustrated. “I don’t fucking care about your weekend plans, Jae! Shut the fuck up! You wanna know my weekend plans?” Jungkook’s laughing at you from the other line, but it only spurs you on, “my plans are fucking my super hot neighbor! He’s a hundred times more interesting than you and he’s going to make me come a hundred times this weekend—oh fuck!”

Your fingers latch onto your panties, drawing random squiggles and letters between the fabric. You’re damp, soaked to the core. You need some sort of friction, a reprieve from this hellish week.

“You flatter me, doll,” Jungkook is definitely grinning through the phone, you can practically hear his shit-eating grin, “I think you deserve a reward. As soon as you put the camera back on your pretty face.”

Quickly, you sit up to put the camera on you again. Once again, the employees are in a daze, listening to whatever the next person gabs about their weekend. Even though you can’t really see it, you’re sure Jungkook has a 1080p camera upstairs that shows off your blotchy face. You moan a little bit, lips closed as the egg buzzes against your pussy lips.

“You’re so cute, doll,” Jungkook praises, “you look so professional, holding it in. What could I do to make you unravel? Hm, what if you imagined the taste of my cock on your lips? Fuck, I’d love to slap your cute little face with my cock, baby doll–”

“y/n?” Mr. Kim calls your name, and you freeze, “what about you? Any plans this weekend?”

Jungkook doesn’t sound angry that your boss has inadvertently cut him off. “Answer him, doll. Be a good little employee.”

Like a zombie, you move towards the unmute button. “I–I uh,” you shake your head, trying to formulate a coherent response, “I’m going on a date this weekend.”

Jungkook jacks up the vibrator to high, and your legs are shaking.

“Awh, a date!” Mr. Park unmutes himself, practically shoving the camera in his face, “how much do you like the lucky lad or lady?”

“I like him uh—ah—” you pretend to think, covering a hand over your mouth to hide the fact that you feel your orgasm fast approaching, “I like him a lot!” you finally blurt, “I’m, uh, really excited to see him.”

“Best of luck to you,” Mr. Kim says brightly, “so Jimin, any news on those investors you had dinner with this weekend? I heard a lot of positive things…”

You immediately mute your mic, and pretend to lag as you fumble around with the camera. Shoving the laptop to the side once more you groan into your sheets, “Fuck—fuck yes—” you moan, shaking your head as you dip your fingers into your panties. The vibrator still continues at its bruising pace, spurring you to a high you haven’t peaked to in months.

“Good job,” Jungkook says simply, “could barely notice that you have a little helper fiddling around your dripping pussy.”

“J-Jeon,” you cry, “I’m, ’m gonna cum.”

“Yeah?” Jungkook eggs you on, “you’re gonna cum around that cute little vibrator? Gonna soak it in your juices?”

“W-wish it was your cock I was soaking,” you whisper truthfully, letting your orgasm take you at the thought. Your folds flutter around the vibrator, bringing you to a level of sensitivity you’ve only dreamt of, “Ah, yes, Jeon. It feels s-so good!”

“Yes baby,” Jungkook groans through the line, “feels good, huh?”

Mr. Kim interrupts for the last time, “And with that, I think our meeting is adjourned. Have a wonderful weekend! Stay safe and—”

You slam the laptop shut, grabbing your phone and keys. “I’m going up,” you mutter impatiently, already jabbing your feet in a pair of slippers and locking the door to your apartment behind you.

“I’m waiting,” he replies, eagerness trimming his voice.

“Password?” you ask quickly, jabbing the elevator door shut once you step inside. Thank goodness you’re alone, you think as you pull your dress shirt further down your ass.

“Did you forget already?” he teases, “I told you, it’s 1234.”

Thankfully, the doors zip you up straight to the penthouse. The connection is always a little spotty in elevators, and you sigh longingly when you feel the buzz jolt and leave it’s momentum, quickly losing its rhythm between your dripping folds. Once you get to the top and the elevator doors open the second door immediately swings open, revealing a soft but aroused-looking Jungkook. He looks fresh from the shower, absolutely radiant and delicious looking.

You don’t hesitate to run up to him, and Jungkook immediately cups his face in your hands, pressing his lips to yours.

You’re practically on your tippy-toes, and you squeak against his lips when he hooks his arms around your shoulders, immediately lifting you up. You wrap your legs around his trim waist, not wanting to stop kissing him. He’s like the sweetest ambrosia, a taste you can’t get enough of.

The connection to your vibrator has resumed, and you can’t help but grind helplessly under Jungkook’s clothed abs as he carries the both of you to his bedroom.

“N-need you to fuck me,” you bury your head in the crook of his neck, pressing quick kisses to his jawline, “I want you s-so badly.”

“Hello to you too,” he husks, shutting the bedroom door with his foot.

Jungkook drops you unceremoniously, and your limbs splay out on the fresh bedsheets of his feather-soft mattress.

“You look gorgeous like this, doll.” he sighs longingly, a hand going under your buttondown to press against your soaked panties. His hand lingers on the way your pussy moves in tandem with the vibrator.

“J-Jeon please I can’t take it—”

“Stop calling me that,” he snaps, hands leaving your skin.

You whine at the loss of contact, “Jeon, no. Jungkook. Kook, my Kook. Please, I need you.”

That gets him going. His pretty chocolate brown eyes zero in on you, and he immediately shucks off his shirt and sweatpants, “How much do you need me?” he asks, pulling out his phone and pressing some buttons, “how much do you need your Kook?”

The vibrator stops. You cry out in frustration, unsure if it’s because it’s off or because Jungkook’s taking too damn long. “I need you so much, Kook,” you warble with a pout, moving to undo the top buttons of your dress shirt to reveal your cleavage, “honey, you can have me all you want later today. I want you to slap my face with your dick, edge me until I cry, anything. I’m all yours, I’m your little doll. But please for now, I need to feel you inside me.”

“Say no more,” his lips latch onto your neck, and you sigh at the skin-to-skin contact. His hand fiddles under your shirt, clutching a breast and slapping it so hard it bounces back and forth, “fuck, you’re so pretty.”

His hand moves to your plain cotton panties, immediately shucking them off, “doll, you really are dripping,” he’s impressed, surprised when he has to untack the fabric from your glossy legs. He hangs the panties on his wooden headboard, a little ornament for him to jack off to later.

His fingers brush over your folds, wasting no time to slip the vibrator out. He holds it between your faces, forcing you to stare at the pearly substance that coats the entirety of the egg. “Mm, tasty tasty,” he cooes, pink tongue darting out to lick a long strip across the oval.

You tug him closer, pressing his lips to yours. He tastes a mixture of his own saliva and your arousal, and you grind helplessly against him. You feel how big his cock is, rock-hard and trying very diligently not to bust. He must have a crazy amount of control, and it drives you nuts.

“Kook,” you frown, bumping your crotch with his.

“Impatient, good thing I am too,” he shucks off his boxers while you unbutton the rest of your shirt, “knees and hands, doll.”

You don’t care how or what way he’ll take you. Fuck, he could bend you into an Auntie Anne’s pretzel and you’d comply.

Arching your back so your ass is in the air, you wiggle around, hoping he’ll take the bait. That’s when you sigh, feeling the tip of his dick brush against your wetness.

“Soaking my cock already, baby,” he says, “you’re so good to me.”

And finally, finally, he slips in. You don’t even care that it stretches you a little too far and too long, it’s been too damn long since you’ve had decent dick and Jungkooks far more than decent.

He goes at a quick pace, finally showing how impatient he’s been all this time. Your moans and groans fill the room, a symphony of pleasure and pain as he stretches your walls to the brim. You hold a pillow to your chest, feeling woozy at the way his fat cock stretches you out.

“F-fuck yeah,” the pace is hard, you practically feel it in your belly, and you love it. “You feel so fucking tight, baby,” he’s all up in your ear, kissing the lobe briefly, “I love the way you suck my cock back in.”

“Kook,” you press your ass back, “harder, please. I’m your little doll, right? Y-you can fuck me however you want, as hard as you want! Please, ah—! Use me!”

You cry out when he slips from your folds, immediately flipping you on your back. He wastes no time to wet his dick, lifting one leg over his shoulder to have you deeper. This position is far more intimate, and your noses are practically touching as he thrusts into you.

You can’t believe you’re in bed with Jeon Jungkook. This must be a dream, a really great, really long wet dream. You crumble in his grip, and you lift a shaky hand to run through his thick black strands.

“Why’d you make me wait so long?” you cry, staring right into his glittering eyes, “why couldn’t you come for me after your call last night?”

“Why’d I make you wait?” he grits, crushing the flesh between your hip bones so he can have more leverage to pound into you, “why did you make me wait? Since March, I’ve wanted you. I told you I liked you, told you I fell for you.”

“T-thought it was a joke,” you warble pathetically, breasts bouncing at his relentless rhythm.

“You think th-this is a joke?” for further emphasis, he glides slower, making you feel just how large and thick he is against your folds, “I want you, doll. Y-yeah, fu-fuck. Want to feed you every day, feed you lasagna, feed you with my cum, make you happy.”

“I—I want that too, Kook,” you’re a pile of pink mush, and you feel your eyes prick from the overwhelming emotions that have washed over both of you. “Sh-shit, Kook. I think, I think I’m gon’ cum again.”

“Good, you first,” his hand plays figure 8s with your precious pearl, seeping with arousal and coating his cock in delicious lubrication.

It doesn’t take long for you to cum. You’re holding him as tight as you can, nails digging into his shoulders as you clench around his cock. Jungkook cums shortly after, and you keen at the sensitivity when his hot cum coats your walls. “Baby doll,” he exhales, thrusting lazily. The both of you feel your combined arousal drip between the two of you, onto your skin and onto his sheets, “y-you’re amazing.”

His softened cock slips out of you, and his hands immediately reach over to swirl around the heady cream over your engorged pussy. You moan when he brings his fingers to your lips, “Open, doll.”

It tastes salty yet sweet, and you suckle around his finger with a cute little pop. Jungkook grins brightly, feeling like he won the lottery.

“Are my walls that thin?” you pout, pressing closer to him when he pulls the blankets to your chest.

“Very,” Jungkook nods with a chuckle, tucking the two of you in, “now get some rest, doll. You presented a lot of offers to me earlier, and I intend to go through with them.”

You smile into his chest, melty and feeling utterly sated.

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