#COUGHS ok guys no smell posting

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

smell pickup line based on the gasoline one because i cannot get it out of my head.

you're a black sharpie and baby? I'm in my office cubicle trying to get high.

We can’t start smell posting it’s going to get out of hand.. too out of hand for a Sunday night

coughs. Anyway

Gabe is a gold sharpie.. like the one for the print signings (I am executed before I can continue)

#we can smell post when I post. A fucking. Legendary clip. that is 1 of the reasons I even made this account #I didn’t find the source of it till like a month ago #but I have it now #it’s a special one it deserves an image to go along with it #but trying to make art is like throwing darts while blindfolded #could take months LOL #COUGHS ok guys no smell posting #you all have covid remember? you can’t smell anything #alright time for a bad tag #im not even a smell guy but there’s a secret switch in my head where if you apply something to gabe it suddenly will appeal to me #well not everything but #a lot of things I can make an exception for #it’s like a fuckin cheat code #this is a mostly innocent post I should stop now #see this is why we can’t do that #the tags speak.. too much. too much. #non voice post #ask #asks #edit: I should mention that the clip im talking about in the tags #is more of a funny clip than anything #he’s trying very hard not to laugh

[s74rf1sh]

ROTTMNT CUDDLE HEADCANONS

Woah it’been a while since my first post…

ANYWAY, I’m in a very sleepy mood so here’s cuddle headcanons for the turtles

~LEO~

-This guy is so goofy

-Constantly grabbing at your ass or tights to massage them while teasing you about it

-He loves to lay on you or having you lay on him

-Lots of churring and snuggling (if you have a prominent chest it’s not yours anymore, it’s his)

-Muffled rambling about literally any topic

-Praises your body constantly (not in a sexual way, this guy is just head over heels about you and wants to make sure you know it)

-“I have no idea why you worry so much, you’re so damn beautiful”

-PLEASE take his mask off and gently caress his face markings, this guy will MELT

-If you’re not laying down he’s definetly resting on your lap ᵃᵗ ᵗʰⁱˢ ᵖᵒⁱⁿᵗ ⁱ ᵗʰⁱⁿᵏ ⁱᵗˢ ᵒᵇᵛⁱᵘᵒˢ ⁱ ʰᵉᵃᵈᶜᵃⁿᵒⁿ ʰⁱᵐ ᵃˢ ᵃ ᵗⁱᵍʰᵗ ᵍᵘʸ

-He’ll play with your hair, even braid it if it’s long enough

-Even massage your face if he’s in the mood

-Will nibble on your neck playfully AND tease you about your reaction

-Will gently squeeze your hips and/or shoulders

-I guess the preferred location is his room, but the couch is comfy too

-If you’re having a movie night all together he won’t be shy and lay on your lap (ᵒʳ ˡᵉᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ˡᵃʸ ᵒⁿ ʰⁱˢ)

-Of course he will refrain from squeezing your ass or doing TOO intimate things…

-But yeah, he will cuddle with you in public if your comfortable with it

~RAPH~

-He’s baby

-Tried to be the small spoon but miserably failed

-(you got slight injuries by his shell and he never forgive himself about it)

-He likes to squeeze you to his plastron and feel your heat

-He often wraps you two in a big blanket, morphing in a big burrito

-He does chur, but it’s really really low and hardly hearable

-Snacks and hot drinks while you cuddle>>>

-If someone were ever to walk in on you two he’d be so fucking embarassed (probably hiding his face in your body)

-He doesn’t mind if you take his bandana off or not, but if you wear it yourself? Oh he’s jumping on you.

-Asks April for advice💀👍 (especially the first times you ever cuddled together)

-Overthinks a little too much about your well-being (I feel ya buddy) what if you’re uncomfortable in that position? What if you’re not hot enough? Is his smell fine? Are you bothered by his churrs?

-Please comfort this poor guy

-Is teased by his brothers (*COUGH* Leo *COUGH*) about him being so vulnerable when you’re around

-As you probably already guessed he’s kind of embarrassed around his family, but holding hands sround others is so special to him

-It makes him feel as if he’s telling the world (his family) that you’re his

~MIKEY~

-Ok let’s be real: he’s VERY touchy

-He’s basically cuddling with you 24/7

-Takes every opportunity to kiss or hug or snuggle you throughout the day

-When you two are alone he just doesn’t let go of you LIKE

-“Mike l need to use the bathroom” “OK :D” “…Le-Let me go” “wwWHY..?” “I NEED TO PEE” “I CAN COME WITH YOU”

-You’ll eventually get him to let you go for a few minutes

-He LOVES when you even slightly match his energy and also crave affection (even if you won’t admit it ;))

-Doesn’t really care where you are or what position you’re in as long as you’re both comfortable

-But if he had to choose a position he would probably like facing and spooning

-Speaking of facing—PREPARE TO BE PEPPERED IN KISSES

-Churrs happily and loudly, not giving two fucks about who hears him🫡

-Squeezes your cheeks (the puffier they are the more full this lil guy’s heart gets)

-If you’ll let him, he’ll draw small doodles on your hands or arms

-Cuddles in public couldn’t be less of a problem for him

-Just say if you’re ok with it or not and he will obey (except for a few stolen kisses in case you say no)

~DONNIE~

-Will NEVER admit how much he actually enjoys your cuddles

-Will have you sit on his lap as he works, chest to chest

-…or you laying on his chest and viceversa

-The very first times he kept everything on- battleshell included

-But after a while he allowed you to take off his mask

-The shell thing is a bit more delicate (Yk?Cause he’s a softshell turtle? God I want to hang myse-) and might take more time

-But if you play your cards right he’s throwing it out the window in a few months

-When he’s not rambling he’ll just lay there and melt in your touch

-Whether you’re running your hands through his bare shell or caressing his face and muscles he’ll just let you love him

-He finded it hard to let you cuddle him, let alone him cuddling you…

-A lot of patience is needed but will be rewarded

-Him inviting you to lay on him, rest your face on his shoulder, sometimes he will even kiss you first

-Ew I’m getting diabetes MOVING ON

-Cuddling in public is usually a big No-no, but there’s situations where you’ll get a text from him where he just—

-“Cuddles in bed later?”

-You smile at him and he acts his blush off…

#rottmnt #tmnt 2018 #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt donnie #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise mikey #rise leo #rise raph #leonardo #rottmnt raph #rottmnt mikey #tooth rotting fluff #headcanon #tmnt #tmnt x reader

[k0droid]

HE'S THE TYPE – FUSHIGURO MEGUMI

It's the little things he does as your boyfriend <3

a/n: HOLY SHIT i have not posted in SO long. My bad 💀 I just didn't expect 10th grade to give me so much work. I just took my 3rd PSAT dude 😭

warnings!: fluff, you and megumi are dating, headcanons (i did not write too much), i use the phrase "he's the type" a lot

I was inspired by many different sources: premade headcanons, real-life experiences, and personal thoughts. (@takis4aki, @lyra_inumaki, and @upperkaceart on tiktok)

HE’S THE TYPE to adopt pets with you. He’s a dog person.

HE’S THE TYPE to inch his hand closer to yours, in fear he might come off as too forward.

HE’S THE TYPE to understand whatever emotion you try to convey. He hangs out with Inumaki, what do you expect?

HE’S THE TYPE to tell say you smell good.

HE’S THE TYPE to secretly enjoy those weird posts you tag him in.

HE’S THE TYPE to send you messages in the form of alpha wolf memes.

“ BABE HOW DO I USE THE OVEN 🐺 ”

HE’S THE TYPE to wait for you at lunch. He won’t sit down until he sees you.

HE’S THE TYPE to be shy. Adorably shy. ‘Hiding his face in your neck’ shy.

HE’S THE TYPE to share his ice cream with you.

HE’S THE TYPE to whisper “I love you” while you sleep.

HE’S THE TYPE to call just to hear your voice.

HE’S THE TYPE to think of you all the time. You’ll never leave his mind.

HE’S THE TYPE to put his head on your shoulder.

HE’S THE TYPE to introduce you to new games. (Cough cough Forgotten Hill)

HE’S THE TYPE to not know how to comfort people, but he tries his best.

HE’S THE TYPE to imitate your favorite characters when you’re down.

HE’S THE TYPE to be invested in your gossip.

“ And then she tells me she might be pregnant. ”

“ ...No fucking way. ” 

HE’S THE TYPE to babysit. (I don’t know why, but)  I can see a lot of adults trusting him with their children.

HE’S THE TYPE to watch those My Story Animated videos 😭

HE’S THE TYPE to talk about his dorky interests. He’s such a Spiderman & Minecraft fan!!

HE’S THE TYPE to love all of you.

a/n: ok wow that was not my best work but i suddenly got bit by the creativity man (as my mom says) and wrote this.

-- My best friend and I always get lunch together. If she gets her lunch faster than me, she'll wait outside the lunch line until I appear and then we walk to our table together and I just really love her for that. it's the small things!

-- one of my ex-friends let a (grown) guy hit IN THE FOREST AT NIGHT WITHOUT PROTECTION. and then she told me that she might be pregnant and I was like 😶

Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!

All works belong to @prettygyalpluto. Do not plagiarize or repost without permission.

#prettygyalpluto #jujutsu kaisen #megumi fushiguro #fushiguro megumi #megumi x reader #megumi x black reader #jjk fluff #fushiguro x reader

[hyperfixatedfandomer]

about Richter and Olrox AU

some scenarios i would love to see if you interested :) (i love your AU's idea!! i needed it honestly)

1. Lets assume that Richter managed to escape once and even not far away but in that short time he managed to hurt himself (broken leg, arm or nasty bruises) and Olrox, who quickly finds him anddd... I leave the rest for you to complete bc i dont wanna interfere to your Olrox's character

2. Richter is nearly bitten by another vampire during a ball

3. Richter has a breakdown over being estranged from his mother and seeks comfort in anything other than Olrox but eventually turns to him

4. Frequent nightmaresss

5. Another Richter escape attempt ending in failure

thats all :3 feel free to add anything!!

gn/gm

(Young Richter gets captured by Olrox as revenge: a bittersweet found family au introduction post)

Ok first of all I gotta say that I’m in LOVEEEE with these prompts! I’m gonna do all of them eventually in no particular order, ESPECIALLY the nightmares bc that can be a whole one-shot (plz let me know if you want it, guys) but let’s start with the scenario nr 2 🤭 buckle up because this is gonna be a long one!

.

.

Olrox had a nagging feeling in the back of his head that told him something was off, and he couldn’t dampen the voice of anxiety that told him to check up on his little companion.

The vampire ball was an event even the Aztec could at times barely get through, so it had been no surprise that Richter Belmont was dying from boredom. He’d been afraid at first, alarmed around immortals in puffy gowns and tall wigs, but Olrox had made it clear, both to the boy and to the other guests that no hair would fall off his head.

Some hours later, Richie settled on a bench in the garden and promptly passed out, using his newly bought navy blue coat as a pillow. The vampires awwed at the cuteness of Olrox’s "pet" (oh how that title ticked him off), but eventually left him alone and he’d been napping somewhat peacefully since, or, at least, ten minutes ago…

For Richie wasn’t there now, and the man’s lips wouldn’t crease into a sneer, if not for one simple detail.

The coat was lying on the stone pathway. The same coat that Richter came to cherish in the short time he’d been in it. “Never wore anything so expensive before” The child told him, so it made no sense at all that he’d leave that piece of clothing as if it was forgotten.

Something is wrong, the voice kept whispering, you need to find him as soon as possible, it pleaded; you have to protect him. You can’t loose him too.

Olrox cursed at how easily fear of loss possessed him, as he took the coat and, using his inhuman sense of smell, scoured the garden. His eye twitched when a familiar scent led him to a labyrinth.

He’s a kid, the vampire kept telling himself, children do foolish stuff all the time. He was just feeling bored. Deep down however, he knew it was a horrible lie. Richter was a kid, but a clever one, and a descendant of a vampire huntress. He wouldn’t get himself into a vulnerable position.

Olrox’s eyes widened. Not unless he’s trying to escape.

“Fuck-let me GO!” He heard a barely audible scream. It was far, but undoubtedly little Belmont. Aztec wasted no time turning into a cloud of black smoke, traversing above the green labyrinth and towards the sound.

“I knew you’d try something you little brat. Sort of glad you did, actually. Always wondered how Belmont blood tasted.”

“No…you won’t drink my blood. You can’t!”

“And why not?”

“Ngrh-“ A choked cough was heard and Olrox picked up a wind. “Olrox will shove those fangs down your throat!”

“Right, the dirty mutt. As if he could ever rival me.”

Olrox felt his smoke turn into sharp scales as a growl escaped his throat. He was close. So close.

Where are you, child?

“N-NO! STO—STAY AWAY—OLROX!!!”

The Aztec had that vampire seized before he even knew it. The world turned red for a moment, and when he woke up, there as a pathetic, blood-sucking immortal crushed in the vice grip of his tail. Reverting to his human form, he found Richie lying on the grass, grasping at his neck and coughing. He was at his side in an instant, picking up the small thing and holding him to his chest.

“Breathe, Richter, breathe…” Olrox spoke, rubbing Belmont’s back.

“He—that asshole tried to—” Richie spat between coughs.

“I know, but he has been dealt with. He’s done.”

Richter tried to look at the bloodbath, but Olrox pressed him back into the fabric of his cravat, now stained with tears. Surprisingly however, he did not care one bit. Fabric was just that; fabric, however intricately made. It could never replace a person.

“You….you came…” Richie then uttered, in disbelief and on the verge of tears.

“You called for me.” He answered, carding his boy’s curls.

“…I—“

“Tried to run. I guessed.”

“…are you angry?”

“I probably will be, but not now.” Olrox smiled, picking up the child. “For now, you being unharmed is enough. I’ll scold you in the morning.”

Richter smirked, though sadly. “Is the party over?”

“No, but we’re leaving. Now.”

“Oh thank god!” Richter whined, no fear or sadness left in his voice. “Let’s go, I’m starving!”

#castlevania nocturne #castlevania au #castlevania fanfiction #castlevania richter #nocturne richter #richter belmont #richter #castlevania olrox #nocturne olrox #olrox #olrox/mizrak

[jinlizz-dragondrama]

Here's another fanfiction I decided to make it's called The Sun's Shadowy Flame. I'll post it here and Wattpad. Let me know what you guys think 💜

Chapter 1

A Promise

*Loud heart thumping echoing*

My vision blurred, I removed my hand from my chest, warm blood dripped down my forearm, and the smell made me gag. Buddha was not pleased that Wukong decided to challenge him. I was too late to stop him from going through this crazy plan. I don't know why I follow this simian into fire but this time it would seem to be fatal.

Wukong is busy fighting Buddha until the smell of my blood hits his nostrils.

"OH no, Ai!" Jumping onto his cloud he soars down to search for me in the rubble on the ground. Finding my mangled body on the ground he falls to his knees and bites his lower lip to not show his fear.

He gently grabs me and puts my head in the crock of his elbow. Pushing the soft black, purple, and red streaks of hair that he loved so much out of my face, now sticky in crimson-red blood.

"HEY kid, you're gonna be OK! Yeah, we're getting out of this, we'll go to my temple, and eat peaches while watching the sunrise like we always do.

Chuckling softly but it was cut short by me harshly coughing up some iron-tasting blood. Breathing becomes labored as I slowly reach out to him, he places his cheek in my hand as I move it up to tenderly scratch his head, hearing his soft purrs, I smile lightly at him.

"Don't forget about me ok", my voice barely a whisper, pulling a beautiful silver comb with a purple flower jewel embellishment on it, I hand it to him.

"Wouldn't dream of it, my peach."

Memories flash through my mind of our first meeting, early morning meet-ups, baking peach desserts, coming crying to him when my parents treated me horribly, realizing that I love him but never had to courage to tell him.

My smile slowly falters as I feel myself drifting away, the hand that gave the comb to him fell to the ground. Wukong looked into my round purple eyes as my life force slowly left me, eyelids heavy and finally shutting. He pulls me into a tight hug as my last breath is carried with the rustling and twirling of leaves going up to the heavens.

"No, no, no....Noooooo!"

My eyes open once more but I'm not in heaven, blinking several times to clear my vision I see I'm staring up at the sky. The sun is rising and beautiful oranges, blues, and purples speckle the sky. Raising my hands they are chubby, small, and caramel colored. Not the red rose color I'm used to. I sit up and look at my body I'm in a simple white dress with no shoes on but my body is smaller like a toddler. There is a rustling, pans being thrown and a wooden spoon is thrown from inside of a shop. Soon a man emerges quickly and almost runs into me, a young man with a simple black haircut, glasses, and a wise aura surrounds him.

"TANG you freeloading son of a gun, when I get my hands on you I'll-"

Another spoon comes flying out and hits the man square in the face and it leaves a bump on the area. Never mind not wise at all.

"Pigsy look"

A pig in a chef uniform looks down at me and he looks shocked

Oh no, no, no, no. This isn't an orphanage I already have 2 mouths to feed and one I'm not willingly feeding. He gestures at the spectacled man, I tilt my head to the side and black and purple locks cover my field of vision. At least I have something familiar.

The man called Tang picks me up and smiles down at me. A small shock of electricity goes through me but I ignore it.

"We can't just leave her here besides MK will have someone to play with"

A little boy comes out wearing a bandana, a white shirt, and red pants. I smile and wave, he returns the wave as well.

Pigsy sighs and rubs his temples

"Fine, but she's staying with you! I have no room for her here"

"Deal, so what's your name kid?"

I was about to answer but I couldn't remember my name it's as if I drew a blank. So I shrug my shoulders Sadly.

"Hmmn that won't do let's call you Jing"

"Jing? Really Tang?

"What it kind of rhymes with my name?"

Tang puts me down while he argues with Pigsy. I walk over to MK and he smiles at me.

"Hi, I'm MK. Let's be friends, ok?"

"I'd like that"

Author's Note

Hey guys this is my second book on Wattpad. I've been obsessed with LMK and wanted to write a fanfiction with my oc. Let me know if you like it and I might continue it.

#lego sun wukong #lego sun wukong x reader #sun wukong x oc #lego monkie kid #legomonkiekidxoc #lmk sun wukong x fem reader #lmk sun wukong x reader

[downforthegas]

The late night hor//niness struck me again and I was given this idea out of no where:

The Welc//ome Ho//me cast of characters except they’re all farting on you

Ok byyYYYEE-

Yooooo you know what? This post gives me the perfect opportunity to reveal my fart headcanons of the characters: how they fart and their attitudes towards it (and how they would feel farting on you) (long post)

Number 1 is Wa//lly Dar//ling🍎

This little guy doesn't fart around anyone unless he's really close to them, like Ba//rn//any or Ho//me. He likes to be a gentleman about it and maybe sneak off to a quiet place to toot if he's around other company. But more often than not, Wa//lly let's it slip accidently. He's such a little guy, if he has too much gas, he can't possibly hold it in for so long, which in itself is kind of embarrassing. And what do his farts sound like, you might ask? There's no sound! Just a gentle breeze *Fffffffffffffsssssss...* that smells vaguely of rotten apples. You almost wouldn't know he farted, only his blushing face giving him away. Sometimes he'll let out a particularly smelly one that makes a noise. A tiny noise like *Blrt.* or *Prt.* That'll make you go "aww." If he was asked to fart on you, he'd be a little confused. He's been taught that farts are rude but knowing that you find them delightful makes him feel good about it. But he's more comfortable doing lap farts. Face farts (especially bare butt face farts) get him so flustered.

Number 2: Ba//rn//aby B. Be//ag//le🐶

You wanna talk CONFIDENCE? Cause that's our be//ag//le! Man will fart anywhere, but will make sure his little buddy doesn't get caught in the wind storm. He does think it's funny to fart on Fra//nk though. Sometimes he'll use his farts in his gags or jokes, like farting into his microphone (and potentially blowing out the speakers), or saying things like, "That sure was a gas!" right before ripping a loud one. He would do the fart in a jar gag, but his farts are so powerful, he just breaks the glass. Yeah, his farts are loud, and burn your nose with their potent stink (as dog farts do) and given his size, they sound a lot like *BBBRRRRRPPPBBBRRRRRRRTTTT!* You'd be lucky to not pass out. Or at least get into a coughing fit. If you wanted Ba//rn//aby to fart on you, for one, you'll be buried under a huge, furry dog butt that stinks, but you'll be hit with enough gale force winds that'll knock you unconscious on the first fart. Still, he'll do it anyway. He's not one to yuck anyone's yum.

Number 3: Fra//nk Fra//nkl//y🦋

Just the OPPOSITE of Ba//rn//aby's attitude. Knowing him, he'd be WAY TOO embarrassed about farting, way more than Wa//lly. I imagine he's not a very gassy person, but whenever he gets gas, he'd try his hardest to hold it in until he's home. Or at least sneak off to a private spot. Because of this, he ends up getting bloated, his stomach distending enough to stretch the buttons on his vest. Ed//die has to be the one to rub the farts out of him, since Ed//die's the only one he's comfortable farting around. But he does get embarrassed when he needs help. But Ed//die doesn't mind. His gas usually gets held in a lot, so it's usually very long, like *Fffppplbbblllrrrrrt!* sounding a little wet and a little airy. Sometimes he'll try to *ahem* spread his cheeks to fart quieter, but sometimes that only makes it come out more wet sounding. If you wanted him to fart on you, it's gonna require a lot of convincing. But if he knows this is your thing, he'll happily do it, but only if you don't talk about it afterwards (unless you want to fluster him).

Number 4: Ed//die De//ar💌

Such a clumsy, scatterbrained mailman, I can't imagine it's easy for him to hold in his farts. Anytime he needs to, it just happens no matter what, and leaves his face burning with shame (but Fra//nk thinks it's kind of cute). He'll be holding a huge stack of packages and a huge fart, and trust me, neither of those are gonna be held for long despite his efforts (poor guy). They're not much, just little *BRRRRT!* or *FLRRRRRBBBBTTT!* mainly from his jeans. They do stink pretty bad though. But it's ok cause he's shame free about it around Fra//nk. If you wanted him to fart on you, he'd be a little awkward about it at first, but he'd still comply. He'd be more comfy lying on his stomach with your face in his butt, since he'd be scared of crushing you.

Number 5: Pop//py Par//tri//dge🦚

Ooh, the resident worrywart. She's the kind to think she's got something deeply wrong with her when her stomach hurts, only to be relieved (in both ways) if it's just gas. Like Wa//lly's, they're quiet and airy, but have a slight sound and only last one to two seconds, like *Ffft.* and *Ppprrt.* and they gently blow the strings on her apron. They also smell a lot like bird seed, since that's what she mostly eats. She'll also often wave her wing behind her after each one, despite how little they stink. She's very close to Sa//lly and Fra//nk, but its still hard to get comfortable farting around them. When asked to fart on you, she'll need heavy convincing just like Fra//nk, but when she's comfortable enough, she'll be gentle with you. She's a big bird after all.

Number 6: How//dy Pi//ll//ar🐛

Oh jeez, it's almost like we're talking about Ba//rn//aby again, except it's not as bad (but they're still pretty bad, trust me). I feel like it's implied he's vegan (he's a caterpillar so...) so I imagine he mainly has veggie fueled farts. They're not as potent as Ba//rn//aby's but they're still very stinky and powerful, and blow his apron strings so hard, they twist together, something like *BRRRRRPPPPPPRRRTT!* He's only really comfortable farting around Ba//rn//aby (who I imagine have fart contests together). He tries to keep his farts from slipping so as to not scare off his customers, but it's hard when all you eat is leaves. But it's mainly to keep the customers around. If he wasn't in his store, he'd be a little more comfortable farting in public. When asked to fart on you, How//dy would totally go for it, even if he does think it's a little weird. He'll even make a deal with you that if you can sit through his smelly farts while standing the weight of his body, you get a 50% off discount at his bodega.

Number 7: Ju//lie Joy//ful🌺

Being a rainbow monster, I feel like she actually has lovely scented, fragrant farts. Like the smell of strawberries or lovely flowers. It just seems like something a rainbow monster would do, but I like to think certain foods (maybe eggs or dairy) can turn her farts rotten. Her fragrant farts can be used to set a pleasant aroma in the air if there's no incense to use, and if she farts on a wilted plant, it'll be revived. Because of this, she's 100% confident farting in public, it doesn't matter who it is she's around. Sometimes her farts flutter her dress, being a little forceful and not as gentle as you may think. Farts typically sound like *Ffrrrrrraaaapppp!* a little wet, a little loud, and mainly high pitched (sometimes they hurt Ba//rn's ears). If you want her to fart on you, it won't be much trouble. She's totally down to endow you with her flowery scent and leave you feeling fresh.

Finally number 8: Sa//lly Star//let☀️

Let's end this long post with a bang. Sa//lly's a star, stars are made of gases, stars are also hot, therefore, Sa//lly has some loud, hot bubblers, like *SPPLLLRRRRBBBBBRRRRTTTSH!* and she has them a lot. But you'd never notice cause she's an expert in hiding her farts. No one's ever heard her fart (except maybe Pop//py), and if anyone heard it, they would never think it would come from Sa//lly. And when I say hot, anything she sits and farts on is left feeling hot to the touch. It's pretty embarrassing for her, even in private, considering the star she is, and believes she is. She also gets some pretty bad stomach aches from holding it a lot, but she won't dare go to anyone to relieve the pain. She'd much rather do it herself, even if it takes a while. Her farts are also full of helium so she's able to inflate balloons with her farts. And if you do want her to fart on you, you better be ready to be yelled at for even requesting something so disgusting. You'd have to either piss her off enough to warrant such punishments, or hide in her dressing room and wait for her to blow off some hot steam. Just be prepared for the room to get hot and stinky, and for your voice to get higher in pitch

~

Ahh, to be with a gassy puppet! Sorry this post was so long, but your message made me so excited, so I just had to get these headcanons out. I might release more headcanons soon, but they'll be more situational based and not general like this one. Anyway, thanks for the post! Currently thinking about the neighbors all farting around me in a circle, all the different smells and sounds ringing out... it's nice hehe

#eproctophilia #eprocto #fart kink #gas kink #playfellowxxx #gassyfellowxxx #farting #girl fart #guy fart #long post

[butterfrogmantis]

*COUGH*SECRETEXTRADOODLE*COUGH*

Flynn Oshkosh was born and raised in America. He was a pretty typical city boy of his young age, liked to party, didn’t take life or school too seriously, but was still intelligent enough to get good grades. He enrolled in college for mechanical engineering but dropped out when the partying and flirting became his main priority. Unsure of what to do with himself after, he decided to uproot his life on a spur of the moment decision and move country, choosing England thinking he could woo English women with his American charms 

Well, he arrives and decides to enlist in a firefighting programme as he sees an advert for it in a shop window and thinks “why not”. He’s still very much in the college boy mindset and is messing about during the course introduction. There’s another student there and she’s not taking any bullshit from the guys. Her name? Belle Riddles, and she’s focused and determined, the best of the class and by far the course leader’s favourite for her dedication To the practise of fire safety. Flynn finds her stuck up and boring. Belle finds him frat-ish and annoying … thus began a rivalry. this did somewhat kick start Flynn into taking some kind of serious stance on the course but it was more to show Belle up. Despite not being as studious, Flynn was still strong, charismatic and brave and could handle the physical aspects of the course fine, so he was getting good marks too much to her annoyance, but then going out on the town and getting drunk with the lower level recruits before stumbling back to the training halls. Well one night he comes back from a party, stumbling around, pretty disoriented and can’t find the light switch. In his drunken state he lights a candle before passing out … the problem being he was still holding on to a bottle of strong vodka, and he manages to knock over both the bottle and the candle onto the floor, where a small fire starts. If it had burnt out this might have been ok, but the fire catches onto his bed Post and spreads .. all whilst he’s sleeping. Soon enough the other recruits wake to the smell of smoke and begin to panic when they see smoke from under Flynn’s door. Most of the other lads are also still to drunk to really comprehend the situation - enter Belle. She wastes no time at all in grabbing an extinguisher and breaking into Flynn’s room to pull him out herself. He wakes up in hospital, having inhaled a lot of smoke and having some minor burns to his forearm but is otherwise going to be ok. The experience humbles him, knowing he put not only his own life but the life of others in danger had shaken him to the core, and knowing now how dangerous fire really is and that his rival Belle of all people saved him … well he admires that.

After recovering he returns to the course. The next time the other’s ask him to go out to a bar he’s initially excited … then tells them to go ahead, he’d rather stay sober and study with Belle. And they do, he thanks her for saving his life and She comments on his changed attitude. The two end up becoming best friends and completing the fire training course with first and second honours. 

Belle is offered a job immediately, she is to go to Sodor and be given a modified railway engine to fight summer fires. Of course whilst there, there’s still plenty of fires, and the Fat Controller wants to bring another fighter onto Sodor … well Belle knows who to recommend for the job  

Flynn can still be a bit full of himself of course, maybe a bit reckless but that’s who he is. He still takes his job seriously, even if he’s a bit jealous sometimes, and Belle’s there to keep him in line.

****

Idk why I can't stop thinking about these two rn tho they weren't really on my mind during my main fandom days but I've rewatching old eps + a really nice fake ep on youtube that characterises them PERFECTLY and I love them, I love their dynamic.

They're best friends, they're rivals, they're coworkers, they're married, they're signing divorce papers wait nvm, they fight and break up and kiss and make up, they'd sell the other for a corn chip, they'd sacrifice themselves for each other, they're girlbossing and malewifing, they're doing all of it and I love them for it.

Belle and Flynn (c) TTTE / Thomas The Tank Engine And Friends

Clumsy and Dopey (c) The Smurfs

#smurfs #the smurfs #ttte #thomas and friends #Thomas The Tank Engine

[bloodenjoyer]

I posted 10,731 times in 2022

2,532 posts created (24%)

8,199 posts reblogged (76%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@tidal1996

@vampirate

@holedyke

@woundthatswallows

@carfuckerlynch

I tagged 6,926 of my posts in 2022

Only 35% of my posts had no tags

#asks - 340 posts

#baz.txt - 191 posts

#fav - 190 posts

#saw - 167 posts

#art - 156 posts

#mp3 - 131 posts

#velvet goldmine - 122 posts

#succession - 113 posts

#mp4 - 108 posts

#spotify - 73 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#fucking insidious man…plus u know that despite any claims these guys are not happy. the ‘i don’t deserve a bedframe’ reddit guy comes 2 mind

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

saw a post that annoyed meWHAT the hell…🤨i trusted u guys …..

27,275 notes - Posted April 15, 2022

#4

"online free" is the best thing you can ever type into a search bar

32,470 notes - Posted June 27, 2022

#3

33,771 notes - Posted March 30, 2022

#2

Life advise . if the bus smells like pee do not sit down never pay for anything you could get for free dont work retail if you value being seen as human always give money to homeless people when u can if youre buying a jacket never settle for fake leather just look for real leather and youll find the right thrift shop eventually make sure to have chapstick with you at all times dont use a public restroom until youve checked to make sure theres toilet paper in the stall with you dont eat out if you cant tip shoplifting from corporations is totally fine and vandalism is also ok Dont get caught always trust ur gut unless your tummy hurts in which case do not trust your gut take an antacid take benadryl when you are itchty but never more than 2 at a time dont get high on benadryl because it sucks Do not get high on any cough syrup with acetaminophen in it if you value your liver do not listen to brendon uries solo work sometimes you should eat a little treat just because youcan. Always dress extravagantly and wear platform shoes if you can. Be nice. ok thats it

36,487 notes - Posted May 26, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

53,308 notes - Posted June 4, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#false #TEEHEE

[cosmosisfold]

post abt ur dragon pet headcanons. please. i want to see them

LETS GOOOO ok so this is just specifically ab max n bishop cause theyre all ive thought ab hermit wise

Max: Class: Boulder Fire Type: Magma Features: Has 8 leg and 2 wings!! It has layered scales that have an uncanny ability to "fluff up", showing off the pristine white fur underneath them. its scales are a brown/grey colour, allowing it to blend in with rocks and caves. it also has whiskers, allowing it to feel walls cave areas even without full night vision. Abilities: Fluffing up to ward off cold weather, climbing walls and ceilings at the same speed it can walk. incredible balance ability despite its size, due to its many legs. Size: Medium Diet: almost anything. including rocks. Habitat: Caves

notes: i think max wld be the type of guy to be so inconvenient about being able to walk on walls and ceilings. hypno walk into his house and then a paw carefully extends down from above him and bats him over the head. /silly. max is also prone to licking his fur and ends up coughing up magma balls that smell like singed hair! gross! Bishop: Class: Tidal Fire Type: Frost Breath Features: Has a set of larger front legs, and a smaller set of back ones with webbing between them and the body; and a set of wings. its face is rather smoothed and seal-shaped, with layered rounded spines gathering at the edges of its face and upper neck. a small fin goes down its head and neck. it has spotted grey skin, with a white underside and decals. it has a long tail with a large fin at the end. Abilities: diving in and out of the water for fish, creating nests of ice underwater with frost breath, holding its breath for a long time, equal swim speed and fly speed. Size: Medium Diet: fish, clams, sea birds, seals, penguins Habitat: colder sea climates and cliffs close to the ocean.

notes: Bishop :3!! i think he'd have slighty more white on his pattern than grey, with it being mostly focused on his back. also, he LOVES playing fetch. xb better get used to hanging on tight to this guy because he loves dipping in and out of the water while flying.

#HEHEEEE #ty sm #ummm what to call this... #hc pet dragons #<- incase i do more of these #i kind of wanted to go for a mix of “yeah theyd like to ride a dragon like this” and also the pets personalities #bishop is sooo cute but hes a husky. hes hyper and loves the cold #and max. well. max is a kibty. and hes also silly and loves being cuddled. fluffy boy #ALSO SUGGEST BREED NAMES!!! i had smth like. divefisher for bishop but that was too plain i think

[thesc00p]

A dog named Cecil, a goldendoodle from Pennsylvania, ate $4,000 cash that his owners had left out for a contractor. Clayton Law and his wife, Carrie, pieced together most of the shredded bills after a smelly search of Cecil’s droppings and vomit - only $450 is still missing. Cecil’s veterinarian told the couple their greedy pet would be OK.

The Laws described Cecil as “a goofy guy” when speaking to the Washington Post. While Cecil scurried off to the couch to nap off his meal, the pair immediately called Cecil’s veterinarian to see if he would need any medical treatment. Luckily, because Cecil is a larger dog, they only had to monitor him at home. The couple then began an unexpected and laborious jigsaw puzzle: Piecing together their shredded notes.

Before they even began taping together their puzzle, however, they had to wait for Cecil to cough up the cash. After that, they scrubbed the bills thoroughly. “There we are at the utility sink,” Carrie told the City Paper. “It smelled so bad.” The couple then attempted to tape together the destroyed $50 and $100 bills bit by bit. The story of Cecil’s cash-eating antics has gone viral.

Source: https://globalnews.ca/world/

#breaking news #news #dog #money #funny #funny story #usa news #viral

[mando-abs]

I’m just gonna go on ahead and remove my hiatus post from the top. It’s been so long you guys 🥹🥹 I’ve missed you. I’ve missed this.

I’m still not out of the woods with my England trip yet. I just spent a full day writing journals (it’s a graduation requirement, really blows). I’ve still got to get reimbursed by travel insurance for having to stay an extra week. I’m still recovering from COVID. I am still negative, but I can fully shake off the cough. My body is just now starting to relax and release tension so my whole body hurts at the moment 😅👍🏻 That and I’m still jetlagged! I keep getting up at 7AM despite staying up late in attempts to get my sleep back on schedule.

Um. So, I don’t really feel like telling you all everything I did because I’ve had to do this multiple times already, and also, it’s a little traumatic for me right now 😅 But here’s some pictures and highlights below the cut (also, if you have any questions, please please please send them my way):

Betty’s Tea Room in York - Had a rough time in York, but afternoon tea here was delightful. People always say “do afternoon tea when you’re in England” and you’re like “ok, whatever grandma.” But I’m telling you, go do afternoon tea. It’s looks cliche but I promise it’s worth it.

Fountains Abbey at Fountains, Ripon: I saw many ruins this trip, but this was the best. Beautiful property. Reminded me of Legend of Zelda: BOTW lol

Dove’s Cottage (Wordsworth) and Beatrix Potter’s Cottage: The picture above is from Beatrix Potter’s Cottage but I didn’t expect to love the cottages so much! They were so cute! Also if you like cottagecore, I recommend you read Dorothy Wordsworth’s journals. Reading that and then seeing her cottage was awesome. Also, I never read Potter, but her cottage was my favorite out of the two. Just so nice. Want to escape to live in a cottage for a while like Dorothy did. Sigh

This view of the lakes from John Ruskin’s home: The Lakes District was stunning. Very beautiful. And very green! This was the best garden I saw on my trip (and trust me, there were many). Couldn’t care about Ruskin’s house tho 😂

Lyme Hall - This was another shocker too. Rich people have way too much time on their hands 😂 This is a proper mansion. So many details everywhere. A Little stuffy, but the smells of years gone by? mmmmmm. Could easily get lost in there. Wish I had time to look through it all. Also, it was too cold to look at the grounds here.

Henry the 6th Part 2 - Rebellion at the Royal Shakespeare Theater: Wild and yet so professional. Somehow managed to make one of Shakespeare’s least look like one of the best. The BSL interpreter was AMAZING and signed the entire performance. Lots of decapitations in this one. Brownie points if you know who the man depicted above is

Nothing in Oxford. You know what you did. (Jk I did attend a service at Holy Trinity Church. It was very nice and the people there were so polite. But otherwise, I had a rough time in Oxford)

The British Library in London: I mean, need I say more? We looked at their treasure exhibit. Saw 1 of 4 remaining Gutenberg Bibles (you know, the first book printed…like ever). The Magna Carta. This is big for me but I saw the oldest completed New Testament from like the 4th century, all in it’s original Greek. Mind blowing. But yeah. Just really old books.

St. Paul’s Cathedral in London: Wow wow wow wow wow wow wow. Such a big cathedral. The mosaics all over the ceilings?!?!?! Way more statues than I thought there were gonna be. I was really impressed. Couldn’t stop singing Feed the Birds from Mary Poppins the whole time tho hahaha

Much Ado About Nothing at the Globe Theater in London: The best live theater experience I’ve ever had in my life. I don’t think it can ever be topped. But I’m down to be proven wrong. (Also, hi!!! Don’t be fooled by my smile. I was very sick in this photo.)

The Paddington movies while in quarantine:

I really bonded with Paddington Bear yall. Poor little bear trying to make his way in London…missing home but trying his best. Javi Gutierrez was right, Paddington does want you to become a better person 😂 (but I loved the first movie more). So nice of them to make the announcement of the 3rd movie right after I watched them.

#abs goes on vacay #abs WENT on vacay actually #abs goes to england #also why do my eyebrows look so faded #I promise I have eyebrows #I stole so many tea packets in quarantine hall #I counted them all and it’s 19 packets #most of it’s English breakfast tea bc I’m chicken #but there is an earl grey and a few Yorkshire tea from York obvi #I will probably do a haul later tonight

[levis-bathtub]

Some weird headcanons and vibe readings and stuff no one asked for

Lucifer:

Can't ride a bike. He says he just doesn't like riding them but he really just never learned

Can't grow a beard. Like at all.

Probably near sighted but chooses not to wear glasses or contacts

Strikes me as the type of person to just. Not go to the doctor? Like ever?

Mammon:

Colorblind

Pissed off a goose once and is now terrified of geese. Understandably.

Probably scared of horses too. They're too big. He doesn't like them.

Fucking sticks gum under the desk

Probably really likes animated movies

Really good at foosball (I think it's called table soccer in other places?)

I wanna see him wear a beanie. I think he'd look cute.

Leviathan:

Can't wink. He just kind of like blinks one eye at a time.

Looks like he can't swim. I know he's a sea monster but he just kind of has that vibe? Like the kid who cries whenever he walks too far into a pool and his feet lift off the bottom. That vibe.

Really likes those girly desserty scented lotions/hand sanitizers but is too embarrassed to ask for some so he'll just stare longingly until someone offers it to him

Satan:

Sneezes. Just. Into the open. Those big giant old man sneezes.

Writes post-it note reminders for himself, but they're super vague so he just has notes with shit like "Ask Beel about *illegible scribble*" and "Buy thing" all over his room

Because of his vague note taking skills he just does the whole "Well if I can't remember it, it must not be important" thing and just... never does anything about it. He can't even remember to take the post-it notes down.

"I don't work here but yeah I'll help you"

Asmodeus:

Collects things. From small things like candles and knickknacks, to whole ass clocks and lamps and shit

Can never figure out how much to tip so he just leaves how ever much he thinks they deserve (which is always way too much but who's complaining?)

"Hey, MC, share a locker with me 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰"

Locker is full of random decor and photos and those little white boards and has literally no room for MC's things

"Wait why are you moving back to your locker 😟"

You know why.

Beelzebub:

Type of guy to just never go to a barber. He cuts his own hair. Sometimes it's ugly but he does the whole "Well I can't see the back of my head so I don't care" thing. You should. It's a disaster.

Sunscreen who?

"Hey, can I borrow a pencil?" *chews the shit out of it*

Also the one guy in class who's pen always explodes. Like??? How does that keep happening? I've never had a pen explode on me before??? How does he do it???

Belphegor:

Unkempt eyebrows

Like. Really unkempt.

Not a headcanon or anything but he'd look super hot in glasses

Just fucking smacks things whenever they're not working as if that's helping at all

Would be really artsy if he wasn't so lazy. Same.

Diavolo:

Excessively polite to NPCs while playing video games

Just apologizing left and right and crying after hurting characters that don't even exist

(I'm projecting can you tell)

Really wants to try dyeing his hair but Barbatos keeps talking him out of it

Let the man experiment, Barbatos

Really good at bar games. Like poker and darts and billiards and stuff

I think he'd look hot with a 5 o'clock shadow but that might just be me

Barbatos:

Does the "I'm invested in this TV show but I refuse to acknowledge it so instead of sitting down I'll just stand next to the couch with my hands behind my back for an upsettingly long period of time" dad thing.

Really into trains

Gives off the vibe that he knows how to grill really well but is actually just kind of average at it.

I feel like he's really into rom-coms, but not the good ones. He just likes laughing at bad movies and thinks they're more entertaining than actually good movies.

I don't know anything about weed but I feel like Barbatos smokes weed. Probably with Solomon. Or maybe because of Solomon. Solomon can be stressful to deal with.

Solomon:

Gives me "Chaotic neutral dad chaperoning an elementary school field trip" vibe.

Probably has a lot of skills that he just... never uses? Like playing the saxophone? Knife throwing? Juggling? He's lived a long life and gets bored easily. He has a lot of time to learn a lot if things.

Just. Likes to set things on fire.

Likes the smell of gasoline.

Simeon:

I don't know if canon Simeon would be into drinking alcohol, but human AU Simeon would be super into fancy wines and champagne and stuff

Probably knows a lot about cheeses too? Both in canon and human AU.

Throws those really relaxing parties. Like Christmas parties, cocktail parties, movie nights.

Just really domestic and wholesome and relaxing to be around.

Really likes owls.

Luke:

Little kid cough

And chugging a bottle of water hella loud

As someone with ADHD, Luke has ADHD. I'm not sorry, I do make the rules.

I feel like he's really into antique stuff? Like old toys and stuffed animals and posters. Stuff that's cute and childish but with a hint of retro aesthetic.

Also into flowers. Like arranging bouquets and wreaths, flower language, stuff like that. He just likes pretty things, ok?

#obey me #obey me! #obey me memes #obey me! shall we date? #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me asmodeus #obey me satan #obey me beel #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphie #obey me belphegor #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me simeon #obey me solomon #obey me luke #shall we date #obey me headcanons

[titanicsimp]

Hello! If it's ok, can I please request canonverse hcs for Zeke, (post-s4) Reiner, Colt, Porco, and Erwin as new dads? S/o is also a fellow Warrior/Scout and so they encourage the dad to spend time with their newborn as their time is limited. How would they care and coddle for their respective little beans? I just want fluff amongst all the angst the current season is handing out by the bucket >< Thanks!

This is such a cute idea. Writing it made me all soft 🥺🥺

Headcanons of Zeke, Reiner, Colt, Porco, & Erwin as new dads.

CW: None

Zeke was not planning on having a child. He never saw himself as the type that could be a father, he had barely had one himself growing up. But, when his child was born, everything changed. As soon as your baby reached up it’s little hands and grabbed at his beard, he knew he could do this. He would give this child everything he missed growing up.

He’s scared to hold the baby for more than a few minutes at first. What if they start crying or he doesn’t hold them right? Only after reassuring him multiple times that he’s doing fine will he keep the baby in his arms.

The thought that he might mess up terrifies him, so he goes to his grandmother to ask for help. He wants to know all about what’s best for babies, and how he can improve so he can be a good father.

Only you and him can hold the baby, no exceptions. Others, including family, can look at the baby but he doesn’t trust anybody else with holding it.

When both of you are forced to leave the baby for warrior duties, he’s besides himself with worry. What if something happens? What if someone hurts his child? As soon as the two of you get back from your mission you go to get your baby. As you hold your child, he’ll hug you both, pressing a kiss to their little head.

Zeke takes the baby to meetings. He’ll be swaddling them softly in his arms while he discusses battle plans like it’s the most normal thing in the world.

He’s definitely teaching the baby to misbehave by tempting them to grab his hair. It’s just so cute to him to see them determinedly ball their little fist while giving him toothless smiles.

He likes watching the baby while they sleep. Their face so peaceful and their little legs kicking softly now and then. Having a child with you has changed him, and in those moments he can feel the change the best. He feels that with the two of you by his side, he could let everything else be.

Reiner is a sobbing mess from the moment you tell him you are pregnant, and when he finally gets to see his little one it just gets worse. He’s just so amazed by how he created something so beautiful and pure.

He’s a very active dad, taking the baby off your hands whenever you allow it. He loves all the time he gets to spend with his child, even if it means changing a diaper.

He wishes you both could just settle down with your little family, but he knows that isn’t realistic just yet. Your encouragements to make the most of the time that you both have makes him feel that every little moment with the baby and you is special.

Very proud dad. The two of you have created the cutest little creature, and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t show them off a little. His mother and your fellow Warrios get shown off to the most. He’ll tell them all about the baby’s progress and point out even the smallest detail he is proud of.

“Do you see that? That little hair is a perfect curl.”

Many days he’ll fall asleep while rocking the baby. It’s incredible that even the baby falls asleep while Reiner’s slumped against the back of the chair, the baby resting against his shoulder. It’s the most sound sleep Reiner gets, your little one repelling his nightmares.

Buys anything the baby even points a chubby finger at. You tell him he’ll make them spoiled, but he can’t help it. He wants to give them everything he can.

When the two of you are taking care of the baby, he’ll often thank you for giving him the greatest gift.

Colt is oh so nervous, but also excited, for the birth of your baby. He doesn’t leave your side, and when the moment is finally there, he barely believes it. Seeing the baby, so tiny and crying as the doctor places them on your chest makes tears well up in his eyes. He’ll kiss your forehead, praising you for doing so well and laying a hand on the back of his child’s back.

He’s all over you and the baby, showering you in love and care. At first you think it’s just after the hospital, but no, it sticks around. When you are recovered you have to remind him that you too are a Warrior, so though you appreciate it you don’t need him to hold your hand at every step.

He’s overbearing in the sweetest way, trying so hard to do everything right for the baby. If it coughs once he’s already running to find you.

Colt knows a thing or two about kids already since he helped with Falco, but every baby is different so he still gets surprised. Like when he accidentally spilled some water in the babies face while washing them. He was sure they would cry their eyes out like Falco had done when young, but the baby had just stared at him with wide eyes. Perhaps your genes had made them a tougher breed.

He loves making the baby laugh. He’ll play peekaboo with them or dance a stuffed animal around them, booping their nose. Hearing his child laughing and babbling never fails to make him smile.

Porco sees himself as a not easily shaken guy, but the baby showed him how wrong he was. He could act tough around others all he wanted, but the sparkling eyes of your child melted him instantly. He was smitten with them since the first look.

He wants to carry the baby all the time, keeping it close to him. He’s a sucker for the classic baby scent, smelling the baby’s head and giving it kisses.

Pinches the baby’s cheeks. They are just so chubby and squeezable. He looks a bit evil while he does it, grinning widely as the baby tries to wiggle away, but he does it all in good fun.

He doesn’t just show off, he brags. Look at how beautiful his child is, how well behaved they are, bet their kid cries all the damn time huh?

“That nose? Clearly got it from me.” He’ll say, proudly putting the baby’s face next to his, looking smug. “Handsome produces handsome.”

Porco is painfully aware of what being a Warrior could cost you, having lost friends and family. What if the two of you don’t return from a mission? It keeps him up at night now and then, and when it does, he goes to get the baby, laying them down between the two of you. It comforts him to feel the baby’s warmth, it’s little hands right at his face. He’ll enjoy having you and the baby as long as he can.

It’s the funniest thing to see him scurrying about after the baby puked on him. He mumbles about them being a little bastard, but he can’t stay mad.

Erwin had been dedicated solely to his mission for years, and he had assumed a family wasn’t in the cards for him because of the life he chose. When he met you, he saw what could be, and eventually the two of you decided to have a child. Erwin was still nervous about the idea of juggling a family and his position as commander when your baby was born, but holding them for the first time convinced him he could make the change.

He reads to the baby every night. He loved the worlds he could explore through books when he was young, and he wants to pass that on to his child. You allow him to only read from an encyclopedia once a week, not wanting your child’s brain to overheat.

The way he changes diapers is a skill. His face doesn’t even twitch while he does it, and he has the technique down so well he’s done within a minute.

Erwin holds the baby close while being on a mission by keeping a family portrait of the three of you on him at all times. It helps him with missing them and motivates him to keep on fighting.

He takes the baby up the wall with you. He wraps one arm around you, the baby ogling the outside world on his other arm.

“One day you will be able to walk freely out there, I’ll make sure of it.” He promises his child.

Levi is made godfather whether he likes it or not. Erwin trusts him fully, and wants to make sure that if anything happens Levi will look after the baby. Erwin will definitely have some fun with it too, making Levi hold the baby and observing him grumpily threaten them to not even think about puking on him.

Erwin keeps a journal during all his missions. He writes down all the interesting and beautiful things he witnesses inbetween the carnage, from plants to friendships. He wants to keep track of it so that when his child is old enough they can know all about it.

He wants to stick the baby in these old and serious clothes. You can barely see your child through the frills and the dress pants are absolutely laugh worthy on their little legs. After seeing the poor thing can barely move around in them, he’ll yield.

#zeke x reader #reiner x reader #colt x reader #porco x reader #erwin x reader #aot #snk #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #headcanons #zeke yeager #reiner braun #colt grice #porco galliard #erwin smith #aot headcanons #snk headcanons #Zeke #Reiner #colt #porco #Erwin

[sapnoopy]

Second Place. ;; Dream x Reader

genre: angst, soulmate au, enemies to lover au.

Will be split into two parts! ^^

Clay and I would always compete over the smallest thing. Whether who can read a book faster, or who can eat the peas on our plate faster.

As we grew older, it mainly became academics and our athletic skills. But I was always second place. Sure, second place doesn’t sound bad, but I hated how Clay was better than me.

My friends and the girls around talks about if they’ve met their soulmates or what kind of mark was on their arm. It was great listening and all, but I had more stuff to focus.

My ear catches a familiar laugh glancing at the dirty blonde hair sitting on the table, fooling around with his friends. I didn’t get it. I knew I studied more, I practiced sports more, but how is he better than me? Natural selection at its finest I guess.

I peeked at my arm seeing the mark for the 50th time. The mark was a smiley face.

Putting my focus on my notes, The bell rings and everyone goes back to their seats. The teacher enters the class holding a pile of papers.

"Goof afternoon students! Hope you're having a wonderful day. Anyways, I have a announcement for you guys! We will be having a big test in two weeks!"

Groans and the sound of disappointment fills the room.

Sighing, I listen to the teacher explaining how this is a big part in our grades. The teacher ends explaining, and starts with the lesson. Feeling a buzz in my pocket, I check my phone seeing that I got a text from Clay.

Clay: Our parents planned to have dinner together. Its at 7pm.

Me: kk.

Since we live next to each other, our parents get along. Here comes the getting compared time.

Stomach filling with dread, I focus on class while having a familiar pair of eyes on me.

Time passes, I enter my house noticing no ones at home heading straight to my room. Throwing my bag to the corner of my room, I flop onto my bed and groaning in exhaustion.

I hear a light scratches on my window lifting my head of to see Patches, Clay's cat. Putting a smile on my face, I crawl to the window opening it letting the cat come in.

"Hey Patches! How are you doing today?"

Rubbing onto my body I get a meow as a response. A giggle comes out of my mouth patting her.

Patches comes to my room after school sometimes for us to cuddle and take a nap. She basically became my emotional support.

I lay down opening my arms indicating her lay down with me. I check the time seeing it's 4pm thinking I have enough time to take a nap and get ready. Yawning, I gave Patches pats and fell into deep slumber.

Waking up to the cold air hitting my face, I've noticed I forgot to close the window and noticed Patches was gone. Slightly disappointed, I checked my phone noticing the texts from Clay.

Clay: Is Patches at your place?

Clay: We're going to the restaurant together. come out at 6:30.

Clay: I'm coming in in 35 more min.

Checking the time, my eyes widen and I immediately pop out of bed running to the showroom starting the shower and stripping. I have 30 more minutes. Taking a quick shower and popping out wrapping my body in a towel I dash to my closet grabbing a gray dress. Getting changed, doing make up, yada yada all that shit.

I check the time noticed I have 3 more minutes. Grabbing stuff that I need I head downstairs going out making sure the door is locked.

"Nice. You had 14 more seconds." I hear a voice and a car that was started up.

"Shut up." I mutter rolling my eyes heading to his car opening the door and entering into the passenger seat.

Clay does the same, putting on his seatbelt and starts to drive.

Silence fills the car and my eyes are looking outside. I've noticed the same pair of eyes again staring at me making me sigh.

"Can you like, not? Stare at me? Do I look that bad?" I grumbled.

"No no. Quite the opposite. You look stunning as usual."

Heat covers my ears punching his arm getting a small 'ow' from him.

"What's wrong with you?? You ate something weird today?"

"Hey, am I not allowed to compliment or two?"

"It's just weird to get one from you."

"Okay, okay."

Our conversation ends and I look back at the window. The window reflects on Clay making me notice how good he looks. Gasping at the sudden thought of mine, I slapped myself getting a questioning look from him.

"You ok there?" He asks.

"Yeah just thinking of something. Don't mind me."

"Okay. We're almost there by the way."

We pull up at the restaurant, entering the place trying to find our parents who seemed to already be drinking. We head to our parents who finally sees us.

"Good evening Clay and Y/N! Very glad that you join dinner today. Sit down, it'll be rude to stand forever." My father exclaims.

Clay pulls a seat for me to sit in giving him small thanks. He sits down next to me grabbing a menu for us to see. Trying to see the menu more better, I get closer to Clay getting a smell of eucalyptus from him.

Picking a dish from the menu, I called for the waiter telling her what I'm ordering. Clay proceeds to do the same. The waiter leaves our table and my mother coughs getting our attention.

"So Y/N and Clay. How was school today? Anything exciting?" She asks.

"Not much ma'am. Our exams are getting closer so we have to start preparing for it." Clay replies, getting a smile from her. She looks at me suddenly changing of how she stares.

"I wish my daughter was smart as you. Always getting second place, at worst third place, what a shame. I wish you were my son instead." She laughs.

I chew my cheek in discomfort. Clay awkwardly laughs trying to say something but I stop him by lightly bumping my leg at him.

The atmosphere slightly gets awkward but Clay's father starts talking about the economy which really helps. Our food comes and we finish it peacefully without any commotion.

"Clay, we plan to go to a bar after this. Please bring home Y/N safely ok? Don't be up to late and I'll see you tomorrow." His mother pats his shoulder and he nods.

I give my farewell to the adults and head inside the car. Clay starts up the car driving back. Our ride back was very quiet but a nice quiet. We get there and I leave the car thanking Clay.

"Wait." he stops me.

"What's wrong?"

"I- nothing. Good night."

Slightly confused, I give a good night back entering the house heading to my room. I get changed and as soon as I was about to head to bed, I remember what my mother said. Sighing, I go to my desk pulling my notebooks studying for a bit.

going to cut off here cuz its getting too long lmao

ALSO sorry for not posting for awhile ;; will be active again!!

#dream x reader #dreamwastaken #dream mcyt #mcyt x reader #mcyt imagine #mcyt headcanons #mcyt angst #fanfic #ao3

[buttoncup]

A Court Of Smoke and Rivers (acosf continued fanfic)

AZRIEL

The air was thick with anticipation, everyone eagerly waiting for that first glimpse of the bride. It was the day of Cassian and Nesta's mating ceremony and Azriel was quietly watching his brother who was stood infront of him at the end of the alter, Nervously brushing a red siphoned hand through his hair that had escaped its knot at the nape of his neck. Azriel chuckled and gave him a soft smack on his shoulder "Scared? "No, excited" ok, yes" Azriel gave him an understanding lift of the brows. Rhys had been sat down at the front waiting with his brothers for the bridal party to make their appearance and leaned into their whispered conversation.

"Relax, the hard part is over, Nesta's already accepted you" he checked his cuffs " cauldron knows why" he joked. Cassian punched him in the arm, visibly relaxing a little, his shoulders and wings rolling back with ease and his head turned up to the sky with his eyes closed. Waiting. Azriel and Rhys smirked at each other and sat back down. Happy their jobs as groomsmen was going well. The venue was beautiful, bedecked in flora and shrubbery that complimented Velaris's landscape without leeching its beauty. There were small cones of blush petals at each chair for every guest ready to be thrown after the announcments of mating had been made. There was going to be a huge cleanup needed afterwards due to the whole city being invited to witness such a spectacle.

Unless Rhys clicked his fingers which was probably the case. He was never one to miss the party if he could help it.

Azriel was wondering how much longer this was going to take, not that he didn't want to be there, of course he did but it had been a while since he'd been around this many people. In full view of everyone to see his shadows and his scars so publicly. Laid bare. He tucked his hands in between his thighs with his head bent. Letting the shadows comfort him in their shade as if they knew he'd needed a shield for a moment. He melted into them and revelled in their embrace. Calm once again. And then the music started. At the first sound of strings Azriel and Rhys arose and took their place either side of Cassian. At this point his brother was seemingly withholding his breath. Poor soul. "You ready brother? Asked Rhys. Cassian just nodded curtly, eyes staring ahead, his back to the crowd. Azriels shadows flickered, they too were getting restless. There was a hush that washed over the attendees as soft melody rang out between the pews as the priestesses made their way slowly down the aisle. The brothers turned to attention to watch the procession, the priestesses hands held infront of them glowing with their invoking stones. Heads bent and delicately veiled by their cloaks hoods. Only their necks and lips visible as they sang in unison. Azriels back straightened, his shadows tugged as a soft angelic voice rang out before him completely capturing his attention with its undeniably beautiful harmony. Pale skin and a glimpse of rich coppery tresses escaped the owner of the voice's cloak. The body slipped away to the sidelines with the rest of the priestesses the music slowly quietening to a soft lull. His shadows curling around him contented sulkily.

Azriel dared to turn his head slightly to where he had heard that voice last but then all was quiet and Rhys coughed to snap his attention to the front where Feyre stood holding little Nyx in her arms. Strings picked up again to that ceremony tune. Cassians breathing returned and he let out a deep breath. Rhys beamed at his wife and son as they glided towards them and sat down at the front of the aisle. Rhys wished Cassian luck and took his seat beside his family gently kissing Nyx on his dark haired head and taking Feyre's hand in his. Azriel turned away. Strings started again as Nesta made her entrance with Elain at her side. Cassians breath hitched. His eyes globes of pure and absolute wonder and enchantment. An incredible smile on his face as he took in the image of his soon to be wife and mate. Elain held onto her sisters arm in the place where their father would've been. Showing their familial support for one another even if their relationship was still in the throes of healing.

Azriels heart skipped for a second at the sight of Elain walking towards him not imagining how Cassian might be feeling right now. Keeping his shadows leashed. As not to scare her. Then she was infront of him, tentatively taking his arm to be seated next to him as his brother and Nesta reached each other at last with the dying of the Strings and following silence. Nothing but the crackling intensity of their love between them . Elains hands left his arm as soon as they were seated. Her posture standoffish and closed off which he thought was warranted considering their last exchange was rather...awkward. Azriel clenched his hands and tucked them away. His Scars safe again. They did not deserve to be in her presence. No, he wouldn't think of himself now. Elain was not meant for him and he knew that. He felt that.

He had not seen her since last Solstice so he couldn't blame himself for the thoughts that crept back into his treacherous mind. Or how Elain smelled of Jasmine and something else, something that turned his stomach.

Azriel kept his attention on the couple before him and counted down the minutes he could be free and let himself blend back into the darkness where he belonged.

The ceremony was complete, Cassian grinned at his mate before they sealed their fates with a gentle kiss with a promise of more and entangled their hands that were now bound by the customary string. Proof of their life-bond and dedication. With a turn to all their guests the crowd erupted in applause and praise, the throwing petals rained down on the happy couple as they made their way through the pink and white snow laughing blissfully. The priestesses made their way behind and trailed after them closing the celebrations. At his side Elain let out a quiet gasp to which Azriel looked to her to see what was the cause of such a sound and there, stood infront of them waiting to leave was a priestess covered by her cloak with only her neck visible.

A neck tangled with a silken thread of snow white hair.

A neck dressed with the rose necklace he had gifted to Elain that night the Solstice before.

A neck he knew that didn't belong to Gwyn. Azriel was as confused as Elain was.

All he knew was that he was in deep shit.

*That's the end of chapter 1 guys but let me know what you think and I'll keep posting to see where this story goes!

#azriel #acosf #acotar #sarahjmaas #gwynriel #gwynberdara #fanfic #spoilers #acosftheories

[aarons-main-blog]

I changed my mind, and decided to que this up immediately after posting the first one. I won't be home when you see this because I'm attending a funeral, but tell me what you think of it and I will see you when I get home!

Note: this was made on Google docs mobile, so when I get a chance I will actually use tab instead of just paragraphs.

"Wars, you said you knew the area!"

"I thought I did, but this is sure as hell not the same way I remember! Those ruins we passed back there? Those are completely new to me! This forest? I don't even recognize half of these plants! We should have reached a town hours ago!"

"Hey, stop fighting, you two, or-"

The group Link had been following for the last few hours came to a halt as the one with pink-tipped hair argued with the one with a blue scarf. He couldn't tell if they were a threat yet, they just seemed like lost travelers. Then again, that was the main way the Yiga clan tried to trick him. 

Pinky and Wars kept arguing, until finally the smallest one in rainbow colors seemed to snap. "How about we admit it. We are lost, and just happened to find something that reminded Wars of home. It was NOONE's fault, because we ignored the obvious signs something was wrong. Now, we are lost in the middle of a forest, and unless you have an idea of what we should do, then SHUT UP!"

The group all seemed shocked by his outburst, Link and the rainbow included, and once they all seemed to get over it, the kid apologized. "Sorry, I didn't mean to yell."

The oldest one, probably the leader, said, "No, it's ok. Today has been a long day, and everyone seems on edge. Perhaps we should set up camp early, does that sound good to everyone?"

The group nodded collectively, and started to set up in the clearing that could barely fit all of them. The one in a green tunic and no pants volunteered for the night's first watch, and while it wouldn't be for a while, they seemed relaxed a bit more by the fact someone was willing to do it. 

Link, who had been hiding a good distance away from them, stood up. He got a stealth potion that would last him a few hours at least ready, then decided he would investigate that night.

As the sun set, an awful smell enveloped the forest. "Legend, what did you do?!"

"I don't know! It was fine a minute ago!"

"It's smoking! How did you burn SOUP of all things?!"

"I didn't burn it, it just got too hot!"

"Because you ****ed up, Legend! That's literally how things burn up!"

"Wind, watch your mouth."

Link had just come back from following the path the group of strangers had taken, looking to see if they dropped anything interesting, when he heard the commotion. It smelled like burning hair or that one shrine he had found with the awful cook. Maybe they were cousins? 

As Link got closer to get a better look, he saw four people standing around a large cooking pot with a brown/green liquid with chunks in it. Pathetic. Are all of them as bad cooks as that one? Link was amazed they had survived however long they had been traveling. 

Pinkey poked the 'soup' with a wooden ladle. "It's still edible, look, the vegetables seem cooked enough."

 "With all due respect, I don't know if I would want to eat that," the kid in a blue shirt said with a grimace. "I don't know if anyone else would either."

The old one took the ladle and used it to try a small sip of what they were calling a soup, and his face scrunched up immediately. 

"Uh, Time?" The blue kid tapped the man's shoulder. 

The man swallowed the drink, coughed, then said, "It is… certainly better than last time."

A few of the others gave their opinions, from encouraging to neutral, before deciding it was better than nothing. 

None of them looked that happy about it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After what theoretically could have been called dinner, the one in the green tunic, which Link had identified as being named "Hyrule," started circling around the camp, gradually making them larger and larger before returning close and starting again. Near the middle of the third round, Link drank his stealth potion and snuck into the campsite. 

There was a young adult in tan with a tall belt, there was a boy in blue(wind), there was a kid in rainbow, there was a young adult with a wolf pelt on his shoulders, still on in his sleep for some reason, there was one in red with pink hair tips(legend), and then there was the leader. Link got a good look at him. He had a fancy set of armour, a big sword, a bad eye, but the strangest thing was he had familiar markings covering his face. They were almost the same… 

As the ones Link saw in nearly every mirror, looking right back at himself. 

"Time?"

Link turned towards the voice to see the one called Hyrule looking at him. He had to play this right. "Yes?"

"Oh, thank the goddess. What are you up to?"

"I couldn't sleep, so I was going to see if you wanted off early." This was dangerous. If he realized the real Time was sleeping soundly next to him, he would wake up all the others, and then he'd have eight grumpy travelers armed to the teeth on his trail in seconds. 

"You sure that's ok with you?"

"Yes, get some rest."

"Thanks, Time," the boy said with a smile. "I will."

Link somewhat directed Hyrule towards the opposite side of where Time was. He was extremely lucky the fire was ruining the boy's night vision. 

"Time?"

Link stopped and turned his head a bit. "Yeah?"

There was a pause. "Thank you for being here for us."

Link smiled. "You don't have to mention it," mimicking the somewhat fancy way he had heard Time use words. "Goodnight."

Hyrule mumbled it back, seemingly exhausted from the travel. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning, Hyrule woke up feeling well rested. The birds were singing a song only they knew, the trees provided shade from the early morning sun, the wind rustled leaves and bushes softly, and a nice smell emanated from the cooking pot. 

Wait, did someone cook something edible? Hyrule shot up, feeling excited to see what had made someone unlock their inner cook. 

"Hey, mornin, Hyrule!" 

"Goodmorning, Wind! What's cooking?"

Wind was grinning like an idiot. "No idea, but none of us made it, that's for sure! Four woke up and saw it cooking, then woke up the rest of us, except for you and sky. Time says you didn't wake him up for his shift, so we thought you could use some re-"

Hyrule was confused. "Wait, what? Run that by me one more time." 

Wind's grin fell just a little bit, before coming back up. "Four woke up first, saw something was cooking, and woke everyone but you and sky because we thought you must have kept watch the whole night. Is that not what happened?"

"Yeah, Time said he couldn't sleep last night, so he took over the watch early for me."

Time, who had been listening in, said "I think I would know my sleep schedule better than you would. You didn't wake me up last night, and I didn't wake myself up, that's for certain."

"Then who-"

Four hit the pot a few times. "Breakfast is ready, guys!"

The questions could wait. Nobody had had a good meal for at least a week or two, so they were excited to try the mysterious meal.

It. Was. Delicious!

After discussion, it was determined to be a mushroom, meat and rice based meal. The meat used was probably venison, and a high quality type at that. It was served with some mushrooms nobody recognized but everybody loved, and a strange rice they couldn't find an exact comparison of.

Idle conversation was of generally positive things and how beautiful the world was. All of their problems seemed far away, and the day promised to be a great one. As the last of the food was eaten up, and the bowl was starting to be wiped as clean as it would get, Twilight brought up the question on everyone's mind. 

"I wonder who made this for us."

"Maybe it was a ghost!" Wind exclaimed.

"Maybe it was a passing traveler?" Four said at the same time.

Legend laughed. "It was not a ghost, you idiot!"

"You don't know that," Wind huffed. "I met a ghost once, she was nice!"

"You did NOT meet a ghost!"

"Yeah I did!"

"Cut it out you two," Time said with his signature 'stop' look. "Whoever did it, they must have been a nice person. Don't argue about things this good, ok?"

"Ok!" Wind said. Legend just scoffed. 

Nobody noticed the person sitting on top of a tree, fiddling a strange ocarina.

I hope this was ok! I will be the first to admit my writing style isn't the best, but I think this is one of my better works at the moment. Comments and criticism is appreciated, and I may edit this if I find stupid things I want to change/fix. I should be home Friday, probably Thursday afternoon. Anyway, see you next time!

#linked universe #sky linked universe #four linked universe #hyrule linked universe #legend linked universe #time linked universe #twilight linked universe #wild linked universe #wind linked universe #warriors linked universe #no idea if this will be a oneshot or a multi-thing #depends on how i feel #inspiration is hard #story part one! #? #i was planing this to be a feral!wild thing #but i couldn’t make it work that well #sorry rambling in the tags #it is sort of fun though #i see why it's a thing people do