#you all make me feel better about myself I'm so grateful 😭 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

alxtiny · 3 months

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hi i hope your requests are open 😓😓😓 i was wondering if you could do an ot8 comfort fic thing for when the ateez members find out that reader used to selfharm because of the scars left behind. if you dw to do ot8 then just mingi is fine.

thank you sm!

I’m so sorry it took this long i got sidetracked 😭😭 but i hope you like it

Ateez reacting to their SO’s self harm scars

Synopsis: ateez comforts the reader after finding out about their self harm scars

Pairing: ateez x gn!reader, domestic au

Genre: fluff, comfort

Word count: 3k

Warnings: mentions of past struggles with self harm

masterlist

• Hongjoong

The soft hum of music filled the cozy studio as Hongjoong focused on the delicate dance of his fingers on the MIDI keyboard, his laptop screen glowing with various tracks and effects. Beside him, you were nestled in a comfortable chair, engrossed in a book, occasionally shifting to find a more comfortable position.

As you moved, your shorts rode up slightly, revealing faint scars on your thighs. Hongjoong's eyes flickered with concern as he noticed, surprised to have not seen them before. He paused his work, turning to you with a gentle furrow in his brow.

"Jagi, what happened to your thighs?" he asked, his eyes searching yours for answers.

You looked down at your scars, a small sigh escaping your lips. "Oh, those? Just old battle wounds," you replied casually, trying to not fall back into painful memories.

Hongjoong's heart sank at your casual response. "But... how did you get them?" he asked, his concern evident in his voice.

You inhaled sharply, setting your book aside. "It's... a long story. But really, it's all in the past. They don't bother me anymore."

Hongjoong's heart clenched at your stiff tone, but he chose not to pry further. He reached out to gently trace the scars with his fingertips, his touch hesitant, as if it might hurt you, but you found it comforting. "I wish I had noticed sooner," he murmured, his voice laced with regret.

You met his gaze, offering him a small smile. "It's okay, love. I got out of it. It not exactly pleasant to remember but I’ll be fine," you reassured him, squeezing his hand affectionately. "Besides, consider it character development."

Hongjoong pulled you into his arms, holding you close as if he could shield you from any pain. "Don’t make jokes now," he whispered, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "But remember, you don't have to bear it alone. I'm here for you, always."

"Thank you," you whispered, feeling With warmth spreading through your body, grateful for his presence and understanding.

• Seonghwa

Seonghwa sat comfortably on his bed, his back resting against the pillows as he played Animal Crossing on his Switch. You snuggled close beside him, the warmth of his body against yours, as you watched the screen together.

You continued watching with fascination, occasionally pointing out cute details or offering suggestions for his virtual paradise.

"Hwa, look! You should put a little picnic area by the beach," you suggested, your voice filled with excitement.

He glanced at you, a warm smile gracing his lips as he listened to your ideas. But then, as the light from the screen shifted, he noticed something on your forearm. Faint scars, barely visible except for when the light from the screen illuminated them but it was enough to catch his attention. He paused the game, concern flickering in his eyes as he gently traced his fingers over them.

"What are these?" he asked softly, his voice tinged with worry.

You hesitated for a moment, feeling a wave of vulnerability wash over you. But then, meeting his gaze, you offered a reassuring smile. "They're old scars," you explained gently. "I'm better now, Seonghwa. You don't need to worry."

He furrowed his brows, his concern evident. "But... how did I never notice them before?"

You shrugged lightly. "They're not something I like to talk about, anyways being with you makes me feel confident and content with myself and I don't dwell on the past when I'm with you."

Seonghwa's heart swelled with love and admiration for you. Leaning in, he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead. "You're so strong, Y/N," he murmured, his arms enveloping you in a comforting embrace. "And you're not alone. I'm here for you, always."

You smiled at him, feeling absolutely content as you relaxed further into his arms.

• Yunho

Yunho had always been passionate about his work, especially dancing. So when he dragged you along to the KQ dance studio one evening, you couldn't say no to his big puppy eyes, even if it meant sitting on the sidelines and watching him move with such grace that not even the best could replicate.

As he swayed and spun across the polished floor, you couldn't tear your eyes away from him. His dedication and talent were mesmerizing, filling the room with an energy that was infectious.

"That was amazing," you whispered as he finished a particularly intricate sequence.

He grinned, sweat glistening on his forehead. "Thanks, love. But you know what would make it even better?"

You raised an eyebrow, already anticipating his answer.

"If you joined me," he said, extending a hand towards you.

You shook your head, chuckling softly. "No way, Yunho. I'm not half as talented as you are."

But Yunho was persistent, and before you knew it, he had pulled you up from your seat and into the centre of the studio. You stumbled a bit, feeling a little self-conscious as you stood next to him.

"Don't worry," he reassured you, placing his hands on your waist. "Just follow my lead."

You moved together, following his lead as best you could. It wasn't long before you found yourself lost in the music, the worries of the day melting away with each step.

But then, as you spun around, your shirt shifted, revealing the faint marks on your shoulder. Yunho noticed immediately, his expression shifting from playful to concerned. He stopped dancing, his hands dropping to his sides. You froze at his sudden shift in demeanour and looked at him in confusion waiting for him to say something.

"What's this?" he asked, gently tracing the marks with his fingertips.

You bit your lip, feeling exposed under his scrutinizing gaze. "Oh, um, it's nothing. Probably just from a cat or something."

Yunho raised an eyebrow at your answer, he wasn't convinced. "You sure about that?"

You sighed, knowing you couldn't keep it from him any longer. "Fine, I used do it when I got frustrated or angry with myself. It's stupid, I know."

Yunho's eyes widened in horror, his fingers still lingering on your skin. "Why would you do that?"

You shrugged, feeling embarrassed. "I don't know. It's like a subconscious thing, I guess."

"You don't have to do that anymore," he murmured against your skin, kissing the scars lightly. "You have me now. Whenever you feel like that, come to me. Lean on me, use me however you like. I'll be here for you."

Tears welled up in your eyes as you buried your face in his chest, feeling a sense of relief wash over you.

• Yeosang

Yeosang had gone out for a while to run some errands, leaving you to enjoy a peaceful nap on his large bed. You decided to steal one of his shirts, the comfort of which immediately sent you to sleep. Unbeknownst to you,in your deep slumber as you shifted around, the shirt had slipped off your shoulder, exposing the healed scars that adorned your skin.

As Yeosang returned home, his heart swelled at the sight of you, peacefully sleeping. He couldn't help but smile fondly, thinking of how cute and tiny you looked in his clothes, quietly he approached to admire your peaceful face. Gently, he reached out, brushing a stray lock of hair from your face, as he did his gaze shifted to the scars that marred your skin. Concern flooded his features as he leaned in closer, his fingertips hovering over the healed marks.

You stirred at his touch, blinking awake with a soft smile as you recognized him. "Hey, Yeosang, you’re back, " you greeted smiling at him, your voice still laced with sleep.

But as your eyes met his, you noticed the concern etched in his expression, his eyes fixed on the scars. "Is everything alright?" you asked, furrowing your brows in confusion.

Yeosang's worry spilled out in a rush of questions. "What happened? Are you okay? Why didn't you tell me?"

Confusion flashed across your face before you realised what he was looking at, and you gently reached out to cup his cheek, soothing the furrow in his brow. "Yeosang, it's okay," you reassured him, your voice gentle yet firm. "Those scars are old. It's been nearly a decade since then."

You could see the relief wash over him, but he still looked troubled. "But... why? Why did you...?"

You placed a finger over his lips, silencing his questions. "I was going through a tough time back then," you explained softly. "But being with you... you make me so happy, Yeosang. I haven't had any bad thoughts since."

His eyes softened, and he pulled you into a comforting embrace, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead. "I'm just glad you're okay," he murmured against your skin.

You smiled up at him, feeling a wave of gratitude wash over you. "I'm more than okay," you whispered, leaning in to capture his lips in a gentle kiss. "I'm better than I've ever been, all because of you."

• San

After a warm evening shower you wanted nothing more but to get into your fluffy pyjamas and go to sleep. You stood in front of your mirror, carefully putting on your clothes, when the door unexpectedly swung open, revealing San on the other side. Startled, you instinctively grabbed a towel to cover yourself.

"Oh, sorry! I didn't realize you were in here," San stammered, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

"It's okay, San. Just give me a moment," you said, adjusting your shirt as you continued dressing. You had been with him long enough not to feel entirely uncomfortable with him seeing you like this.

As you finished, you noticed San's gaze lingering on a particular spot near your hips. Sensing his stare, you furrowed your brows and glanced down, suddenly feeling self-conscious.

"Is something wrong?" you asked, your voice laced with concern.

San blinked, seemingly snapping out of his trance. "Oh, no, it's nothing," he quickly replied, though his expression betrayed his curiosity.

You sighed softly, knowing he wouldn't let it go that easily. "They're just scars from my past," you explained, gesturing towards the faded marks on your upper thigh and hips. "Back then I struggled a lot with my confidence," you winced slightly at the painful memory.

San's eyes widened in realisation, and his features softened with empathy. "I had no idea," he murmured, stepping closer to you. "You're perfect, you know? I can't believe you would ever think otherwise."

A small, appreciative smile tugged at your lips, touched by his sincerity. "Thank you, San," you replied softly, feeling a warmth spread through your chest. "I'm in a much better place now."

Without hesitation, San reached out to cup your cheek, his thumb gently brushing against your skin. "I'm glad to hear that," he whispered, his gaze filled with adoration. "But just know, I'll always be here to remind you of how incredible you are."

His words melted away any lingering insecurities, and you couldn't help but lean in to press a tender kiss against his lips. "Thank you for always being so understanding," you murmured against his mouth.

"Of course," San replied, returning the kiss with equal fervor. "You don't ever have to worry about anything when you're with me.

• Mingi

After ages of going to the gym, lifting weights and what not, you had finally convinced Mingi to join you for a workout session at home. He was a bit hesitant about it at first, but eventually agreed, eager to spend more time with you. You chose something slow and peaceful, as opposed to the usual fast cardio routine.

You rolled out your yoga mats in a quiet corner of the living room, ready to start your session. "Alright, Mingi, let's begin with some simple stretches," you said, gesturing for him to follow your lead.

Mingi nodded, a determined look on his face as he mirrored your movements. You guided him through various yoga poses, explaining the significance behind each one with patience and encouragement. As you moved gracefully from one pose to another, you couldn't help but notice Mingi's intense focus on you.

Eventually, you transitioned into a seated position, stretching out your legs. That's when you saw Mingi's gaze flicker down to your thighs, his expression shifting slightly.

Sensing his sudden shift in mood, you paused, meeting his eyes with a soft smile. "Is everything okay, Mingi?"

Mingi hesitated for a moment before speaking up. "Y/N, I... I didn't realize..." His voice trailed off, his eyes fixated on the faint scars adorning your skin.

You followed his gaze and realized what he was looking at. You never made an effort to hide them, but you hadn't expected Mingi to notice them either.

You shifted closer to him and reached out, gently placing your hands on his. You took a deep breath, deciding to address it calmly. "Those are just old scars from before. I don't hide them, but I understand if it's a bit surprising."

Mingi blinked back tears, his emotions bubbling to the surface. "I... I never knew. I'm sorry, Y/N. I should've noticed sooner."

You shook your head, squeezing his shoulder gently. "You don't have to apologize, Mingi. You couldn't have known. What matters is that I'm here now, and I'm okay."

Mingi's eyes softened as he looked at you, his voice filled with sincerity. "Y/N, please... promise me you won't struggle alone anymore. I'm here for you, always."

You nodded, a warm smile spreading across your face, as you hugged him tightly and kissed his cheek, making him crack a smile too. "I promise, Mingi.”

• Wooyoung

It was one of those lazy afternoons when you and Wooyoung were both off from work and free from all worries, allowing just the two of you to enjoy each other's company. Of course the best way to spend it was by annoying each other and generally goofing around, engaging in your usual banter and playful teasing.

As you playfully jabbed at Wooyoung's side while he was attempting to pour himself some water, successfully making him spill it, he retaliated by attempting to tickle you. You squirmed and laughed, trying to evade his grasp and running around the apartment, but he managed to corner you and began tickling your sides mercilessly.

"Ah! Wooyoung, stop!" you squealed between giggles, your cheeks flushed from the laughter.

His hands slipped under your shirt, tickling up and down your sides with no mercy as tears escaped your eyes from laughing too much. Abruptly his movements stopped, and a concerned frown creased his forehead as his fingers brushed against thin ridges on the side of your ribs. Gingerly he lifted your shirt, his eyes widened to discover pale white scars strewn across your skin.

"Hey... what's this?" Wooyoung's voice softened as he traced the scars with his thumb, his playful demeanor instantly replaced by worry.

You glanced at him, puzzled by the sudden change in his demeanor, until you followed his gaze down to your ribs. Realization dawned on you, and you gently placed your hand over his, giving him a reassuring smile.

"Ahh those, it's okay, Wooyoung," you said softly. "I'm okay now. You don't need to worry."

He searched your eyes, silently asking for confirmation. Your reassuring words seemed to ease his concern, but he still couldn't shake off the worry completely.

Leaning in, he pressed a tender kiss against the scars, his lips warm against your skin. "I love you," he whispered softly, his voice filled with sincerity and affection.

Your heart swelled with warmth at his words, and a giggle bubbled up from within you. Wrapping your arms around him, you hugged him tightly.

• Jongho

As you walked through the door after a painfully long day at work, Jongho couldn't help but notice the weary expression etched on your face. His heart clenched at the sight, knowing all too well the burdens you carried. He had always known of the battles you fought within yourself and the scars they left behind. Yet, out of respect and understanding, he never broached the topic, letting you open up at your own pace.

Today, however, he felt compelled to reach out, to offer you the comfort you so often extended to him.

"Hey, love," he greeted softly, setting aside his book and rising to meet you.

You managed a faint smile, but it didn't quite reach your eyes. "Hey, Jongho."

He stepped closer, his gaze gentle yet searching. "Rough day?"

You sighed, nodding slightly. "Yeah, you could say that."

Taking your hand, he led you to the couch, where he enveloped you in a warm embrace. "I'm here for you, you know? You can always talk to me."

You tensed slightly at his words, your gaze flickering to the floor. But Jongho's reassuring touch grounded you, as he smoothed over the jagged lines on your arms, easing the knots of anxiety that tightened within you.

"I'm just... tired," you finally admit, your voice barely above a whisper.

Silence settled between you, but it was a comforting silence. Jongho pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your head, his arms secured around you.

Jongho nods, his hand finding yours, offering silent support. "You know you don't have to carry it all alone, right?" he says, his gaze meeting yours with unwavering sincerity.

Tears prick at the corners of your eyes, and you're grateful for the dim light that hides the vulnerability in your expression. "I know," you whisper, your voice thick with emotion.

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DISCLAIMER: THIS IS PURE FICTION AND NOT RELATED TO THE MEMBERS OF ATEEZ IN REAL LIFE PLEASE DO NOT TAKE IT SERIOUSLY

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reiderwriter · 9 months

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♦️There Are No Words Left to Speak ♦️

Chapter 5 of That's What You Get

Prev Chap || Next Chap

Pairing: Spencer Reid X Fem Reader

Summary: In a panic, you spill your guts to Penelope and receive some much needed advice before your "date" with Reid.

Warnings: None!!

A/N: This one is 4k words long because I absolutely could not help myself 😭 I've has a lot of messages and asks about this series lately, and it's been really encouraging to see! If you like this chapter, please comment or reblog and let me know or come chat with me in my inbox! Happy Reading!!

You can find my masterlist here and the series masterlist here.

"Penelope, I fucked up and I need your advice," you screamed into the room as soon as the door slammed open, startling the other woman as she threw her phone up in surprise.

"Jesus, Y/N, you're lucky I didn't reach for the all too full can of pepper spray I store in here, oh my god."

"I'm sorry, Pen, I'm just, I'm kinda freaking out, and I need your help."

"Are we going to need wine, or are we going to need ice cream and a chick flick? What kind of problem are we talking here?" she asked from her place at the desk.

"I married Spencer in Vegas." You said and then clamped your hand over your mouth as you finally let the pressure of the weekends mess seep out of you now that you'd shared your secret.

"Oh my god, both, we'll do both. We need both, let's go, let's go now."

–X–

Penelope drove the two of you home, immediately moving into a mothering role as soon as the words left your mouth, and she could see your impending implosion. You were grateful that she didn’t ask you any further questions as you made your way back to her apartment, just turning on the radio to a channel playing 90s pop hits and simply letting you calm down through the fun music.

When you finally got through her door, she let you get comfortable and then immediately came back with all the things she promised.

“Okay, I know you’re more a rose girl, but all I have is this really nice white that Derek got me for my last birthday and half a bottle of tequila, and I think it’s better for the both of us if we don’t open the tequila. Also, I have chocolate, cookie dough ice cream, and tissues, and When Harry Met Sally on DVD, I'm ready to be plugged in and played as soon as you say the word.”

“Penelope, we do not tell you how brilliant you are as often as we should.”

“While that is true, I’m trying my best not to immediately cave and ask you to spill, so can we please sing my praises after you explain what you mean by saying you married Spencer.”

“God, Penelope, I don’t know what happened,” you let your head hang in your hands and she immediately moved to sit closer to you, rubbing a hand over your back and getting the tissues ready.

“We went out drinking, and my mom got in my head earlier in that call I took, and I don’t remember anything and then I woke up and we were in bed together and-” you rambled out, lifting your head up as you tried to explain, but she cut you off quickly there.

“You were in bed together? Did you… you know, bump uglies with Spencer? Do the old in n’ out? Sorry, I’m making this worse, I’ll shut up now,” she said, but you laughed at her enthusiasm, and you felt more of the weekend’s tension leave your body. You knew that you had made the right decision coming to Penelope with this. She always knew how to make you feel better.

“I don’t know, but it looks like it. TMI but-”

“Hold on, I don’t think I want to know what the Good Doctor is like in bed.” She visibly shuddered, and you let out another shaky laugh.

“Well considering I remember none of it, you’d be hard pressed to get those details from me. I did wake up handcuffed to the bed, though.”

“Shut the front door, no you did not!” Penelope’s jaw dropped. “Oh god, I’m almost morbidly curious, but I don’t want to open that can of worms. Sorry, please continue.”

You took a swig of the wine she poured you and relaxed a bit further into her couch, pulling your legs up under you to find a more comfortable position as you told the rest of your story to Penelope, gaining more confidence with each of her reactions to what you told her.

“So, now we just need to track down our two witnesses and get the marriage quietly annulled, and we can forget it ever happened.” You could hear the frown in your voice before you realised you were making that kind of expression, and from Penelope’s reaction, you could see that she’d noticed too.

“Oh.. oh, I know that look. You don’t want the annulment, do you?”

“Yes! I mean, no! Look, I really don’t know how to answer that right now, it’s just…” you trailed off, and Penelope silently filled your wine glass again, not saying anything and letting you come around at your own pace.

“Earlier today, after we told Rossi, and before I came running to you, he… he kissed my forehead, and he called me Mrs. Reid, and I really liked it. And I didn’t think about it before, but Reid is nice, and he is good, and he is obviously really smart, and, god he’d be a great dad, and he took care of me yesterday and today… Penelope, I think I have a crush on my husband.” You gasped out, feeling the weight of your revelation as it hit you straight in the gut.

“But we talked about it and we’re getting an annulment and now it’s like I fucked up before I really got the chance to let it go anywhere, and what if it’s a mistake? What if I made the world’s greatest fuck up and married a great man in Vegas and then threw it all away a week later?” you raked your hand through your hair quickly, trying to ignore the tears forming quickly in your eyes.

“Oh my god, sweetie, it’s going to be okay… You’re going to have to trust me when I tell you that it’s going to be okay…” she patted you on the back and you let the tears fall down a bit, quickly dabbing them away with the now balled up tissue in your hand.

“I don’t know if I can, Pen…” you tried to smile up at her, but you could feel your lips wobbling and you let your head hang again before you could let out a choked sob.

“No, nonononoonono, listen to me… Okay, promise you won’t hate me after I say this?” She said, squishing your cheeks between her hands as she made you look up into her eyes.

“I pwomise,” you sniffed out, voice muffled by her strong grip. She let you go then, content that she had your attention.

“I know for a fact that the boy is as infatuated with you as you are with him because… because I saw you two.” She stopped there to watch your reaction, but you froze, so she continued.

“You… you called me from wherever you guys were out in Vegas, mumbled some words over the phone and then sent me a picture of a brochure with an address on it, and then when I turned up it was a wedding chapel and you were getting married.” She winced out those last words, and you gasped at the confession.

“You were one of the witnesses! Penelope!” You pointed an accusatory finger at her, but it was half-hearted. You knew that you were stubborn enough while sober. You certainly wouldn’t have been persuaded out of something you obviously wanted while blackout drunk.

“I know, I know, I’m sorry, but you guys were just too cute! He was giving you all these small kisses on your forehead and on your cheeks, and you looked like innocent kids giddy and high on love, and I didn’t want to bring you back down to earth. You looked so happy, and I do not make it a habit to get in the way of my friends’ happiness.”

“Penelope, why didn’t you say anything?” You groan out, sounding a bit like a petulant teenager who has just discovered her mom threw out a shirt she hadn’t worn in years.

“I wanted to, but I was told not to…” she winced away. “And before you ask, I won’t tell you who else was there! Just know it was someone else who also loves both of you and would’ve pulled you two out of there. No questions asked if they thought you were making a stupid decision!”

You let the revelations sink in, one by one. Penelope was there. Reid couldn’t keep his lips off of you. The other witness thought you two were good together. It almost didn’t surprise you when you started giggling, finding humour in the situation at least.

“Oh my god, Penelope, I got married in Vegas to my coworker. And I think I’m in love with him now.” You were in a fit of giggles now, and Penelope hesitantly joined in at first.

“Yeah, I suppose it is funny when you put it that way.”

“God, what am I going to do? How am I going to face him from now on?” You pulled yourself together again and faced Penelope again, hoping that she would have actual answers for your very rhetorical question.

“Well, at least we have a couple of days off now. You don’t have to see him again until we go to work.”

“No, we have a date tomorrow,” you said matter-of-factly. “Appointment, really, he’s reading some books on alcohol induced memory loss tonight, and then I’m going over to his place to see if any of it can help us fill in the blanks.”

“Oh god, you’re going to talk books with Reid. That’s practically as romantic as it gets for him. No wonder he wifed you up.” You playfully kicked her leg, and she laughed again. “Okay, so no avoidance, okay. Maybe you could put the moves on him? Try to recreate that scene with the handcuffs. Who knows what might happen.” She wiggled her eyebrows at you then, and you did your best not to once again be overcome by a fit of giggles.

“Okay, enough of my romantic problems. I was promised When Harry Met Sally and that ice cream has probably melted, so let’s get to it.”

–X–

You braced yourself at the apartment door as you psyched yourself up to knock. As promised, you’d been greeted in the morning by a text from Spencer with his address and a proposed time to meet. He’d suggested 5pm, and you’d agreed, but here you were 20 minutes early, probably looking overdressed and over eager to spend time with your coworker/ husband/ soon to be former husband, maybe.

You’d left Penelope’s apartment that morning, having had an impromptu sleepover, happy that you’d at least confirmed your own feelings. You’d taken a taxi to collect your car, then spent the rest of your time at home overthinking and overpreparing.

You’d put on a dress and some make-up, and you were almost regretting the decision now you were on his doorstep, wondering what he’d think. You worked one of the toughest jobs in the world together, and you knew that he’d seen you completely black and blue after going blow for blow with unsubs in the past. Would he think this sudden effort was weird? You tried not to pace, knowing that your footsteps in the hall would alert him to your presence, but you couldn’t bring yourself to knock just yet.

You checked your phone again. 4:45. You couldn’t spend another fifteen minutes out here overthinking, so you finally just pushed ahead and knocked. Almost as if he had been waiting on the other side of the door this entire time, Reid answered immediately, not even letting you get a third rap in before he was there standing in front of you.

“Hi,” you said, standing there awkwardly with your hand still up, ready to knock again.

“Hey,” he replied, smiling at you.

You felt his eyes trail down your body, taking in your appearance. The dress you’d chosen wasn’t particularly special, just a mid-length tiered dress with bow straps. The weather was getting chillier so you’d layered it over a plain turtleneck, enjoying the added bonus of not having to conceal down your neck to mask the love bites he’d lavished upon you only a few nights prior.

You looked at him as well, and you were pleasantly surprised by his casual wear. He was more dressed down than he was in the office, but not by much. He was still wearing slacks, and a button down shirt as well, but he’d thrown a beaten up CalTech sweater over the top of them, and he looked so cosy you wanted to bury your head in his chest. He was wearing his glasses, and you were so thankful for that, as you forgot how well they suited him, fitting him perfectly.

“You’re early.” He said, finally breaking the silence between the two of you, drawing you out of the trance he’d kept you in while you took in the sight of him.

“Yeah, I guess I just overestimated how long it was going to take to get here. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s great, totally fine. Come in.” He moved his body to the side slightly so you could enter the door, but kept his outer arm pressed against the door so you had to duck under it, brushing past him as you went. The small contact made your entire body buzz, your heartrate picking up as you willed yourself to act natural.

“The food should be here any minute.” He smiled as he followed you back into his apartment. “I wanted it to arrive before you got here so I could surprise you.” You turned around to face him, and you could hear the bashfulness in his voice as he made the admission.

“Sorry for ruining the surprise,” you smiled up at him. “What did you order?”

“I remembered you mentioned that Korean streetfood place a while back that does those spicy rice cakes and kimbap rolls, so I got us some of that. Is that okay?”

“Sounds perfect.” You were touched that he even remembered the conversation when you yourself couldn’t even think of when it might have happened. He turned and walked further into the apartment, and you followed him this time, finally looking around and taking it all in.

The walls were obviously lined with bookshelves, and there were books laying around in piles everywhere. The walls were painted a dark colour, which made the space feel calming, almost more intimate, and sunlight was streaming in from the open window on the back wall.

“Sorry, it’s not much. Take a seat wherever, and I’ll grab those books I was talking about.”

You took a seat on the couch and watched him trail around the room, picking up books from several shelves and stacks.

“Okay, this is all of them. So the main takeaway is that it usually takes two weeks to fully recover memories from alcohol induced blackouts.” He explained, bringing you a stack at least eight books high.

“Spencer, did you read all of these last night?” You asked.

“Yeah, I said I would, I thought it would help.”

“Spencer,” you took his hand into yours as he set the books on the floor and flopped down to the couch beside you. “I really appreciate you putting in all this effort to help us, but you could’ve just come home and relaxed, you know. Our case was long and tough, and now all of this, you deserve a break.” You stroked your thumb over the back of his hand, trying to make the gesture calm and reassuring.

“I know, I wanted to do this. I want to remember what happened between us,” he whispered the words softly, not needing to fill the space with much sound as you’d crept closer and closer together since he’d returned.

“So, uh, two weeks then, is that it, we just have to wait for the memories to return?” you asked quietly, letting go of the small moment you’d shared to get back to the task at hand.

“It seemed so, but there are some other more general tips we could implement that could help us piece together what happened. We might at least be able to figure out who our witnesses were.”

You felt almost guilty then, but you kept your mouth shut. You’d decided the night before that you wouldn’t tell Reid about Penelope. At least not yet. You wanted the time first to see if he could possibly feel the same way about you before you worked up the courage to let him in on what you had learnt.

“Yeah, I’m open to try anything. Within reason, that is.”

“Great! I was thinking at first that maybe we could do a cognitive interview, but as we only have each other to work with, I thought that might make some of our answers more biased and not garner effective results. But we could still try to jog our memories by working out some of the same emotions, doing some things we could have done that night, and seeing if any of it rings a bell?”

“Some of the things we did that night?”

“Yeah,” he repled.

“Like… like make out or get handcuffed to a bed?” You enjoyed watching the flush creep up his neck, and his eyes go wide as he struggled to backtrack on that one.

“No, no! I mean, unless you want to, or you think it would help?” It was your turn to be left speechless, your mouth suddenly not complying with your brain as you begged yourself to respond somehow. All you could muster was a glance down at his lips that lingered a bit too long, your body slowly creeping forward.

He noticed and moved closer towards you as well, letting his hand grasp your waist as you got caught in his atmosphere.

“It’s worth a try, right? To regain our memories.” He supplied you with the words, letting you stay silent as your lips grew closer and closer together, seconds away from taking your breath away forever.

A loud rap at the door and a shout of “delivery” had the two of you suddenly bouncing away from each other, Reid scrambling to the door to collect the food, while you stood up awkwardly and tried to pretend there was something really interesting on his bookshelf that had caught your attention all of a sudden.

For the Nth time in so many days, you found yourself trying to convince your heart to beat a little quieter, and you managed to get yourself under control as he returned with the food.

“I’m sorry, I lost track of time…” he trailed off as you nodded, joining him back at the couch as he began unpacking the food.

“It’s totally fine, we should eat anyways, trust me when I say this stuff doesn’t taste even half as good cold.” You smiled at him, but it didn’t go quite to your eyes. You really wanted to kiss him, and you were really doing your best to control your disappointment, not wanting to show off how desperate for him you were.

“Well, you’re in luck, because you now get to witness one of my only flaws,” he said, fishing out two sets of chopsticks from the delivery bag. “I am absolutely terrible with chopsticks.”

You giggled at him and grabbed the pair he offered you, letting out a dramatic fake gasp. “And you only tell me after we get married? That’s it, I want a divorce,” you laugh, and the two of you settle down into a comfortable silence as you begin your meal.

–X–

Two hours later, and you’re still no closer to locking lips with the man than you were earlier. You’d had a nice time talking with him over the food, both of you sitting like kids on the floor as you ate over his coffee table. He’d told you about a Korean film festival he’d attended a few years back, one of many international film festivals he’d been to, and you sat and listened, in awe of the way his eyes lit up when he talked about something that excited him. You hoped that one day, he’d talk about you in that same way.

You helped him clean up and settled back onto the couch, where he’d mentioned having a copy of one of the films that had since been subtitled, and you ended up in another movie marathon.

The movie was good, but his presence next to you was even better. He’d stretched out his arms on the couch behind you, letting you snuggle up into his side as you pulled your legs up and under you, screwing yourself up in a comfortable little ball, burrowing into him for warmth. He was a fire beside you, and you wished you were bold enough to push further into him, to drag your hands across his skin and feel even more of him, continuing the exploration from earlier. But you weren’t, and, honestly, you were tired, so you let yourself sit peacefully beside him, touching but not much, as you were lulled to sleep by the sounds of the TV.

It was pitch black outside when you finally cracked your eyes open again, but he was still there next to you on the couch. The movie had been turned off, and so had the TV, and there was a blanket now wrapped around your legs, so he had obviously moved, but he had also come back to you. You shifted your head up to look at him and smiled. He’d picked up another book from who knows what shelf and was reading slowly so as not to wake you with the movements of his hand as he traced down the page. Your head had moved from his chest to his lap, and he held the book off to the side in one hand, his other resting protectively over your waist. He was so engrossed by his book that he hadn’t even realised you’d moved and that you were awake until you spoke to him.

“Spencer? What time is it?” you asked, your voice thick with sleep.

“It’s 11:30. You fell asleep during the movie and you looked like you could use the sleep.”

“Wow, what a way to tell a girl she doesn’t look so good,” you laughed at him as he pouted down at you.

“I didn’t mean that. Y/N, you look beautiful today. You look beautiful everyday.”

You lifted yourself up from his lap, one hand braced on either side of his legs on the couch as you bought yourself eye-to-eye with him, your chests close enough to touch if you took a big breath in. Instead, yours were shallow as you looked up at him through heavy eyes.

“Thank you, Spencer.” You whispered, silently begging him to close the space between the two of you. But he didn’t, instead, clearing his throat and putting his book down, breaking your eye contact.

“I should be getting home now. It’s pretty late.” You said, standing up from the couch. He followed you up and around as you started collecting your things and organising the space you’d occupied.

“Y/N it’s late, and you’re tired. I can’t let you drive home like that. An estimated 30% of road accidents occur due to sleep deficiency, you know.”

“It’s fine, I don’t want to get a taxi and just leave my car here and then have to come back in the morning. I’ll be fine driving,” you said, but he softly took the keys out of your hands as you grabbed them from your bag.

“Stay here tonight.” He said, less of a suggestion than an already established fact. You looked up at him and knew there was no changing his mind, but he continued anyway.

“I have a spare toothbrush and some old clothes you can probably use as pajamas, and it’s not like we haven’t shared a bed before. Maybe…maybe waking up next to each other again will help jog our memories, too. We only have until the end of the week, right?”

He looked at you expectantly, and you let out a little sigh and nodded your head, letting him guide you away to the bedroom and back into sleeping in his arms.

--×--

🏷 @w-windy @multifandom-on-the-side @reidandhotchsgirl @babybluecakes @hugyourlungs @prentissesredtanktop @reidscaffeine @bethanyhaas01 @average-sunflower @academiareid @sailortongue @daddy-dotcom @anniewhalelover @abbyshmaby @isabel-ffl-xoxo @sujan39 @frxcless @bluestuesday @busy-buzzing @breadbrobin @maxinehufflepuffprincess @l0v3cam @booksandwonderlands @myescapefromthislife @ferrjulie @scoobydoopoo @aelinismyqueen @littlesingingbean @jamiemuscatosslut @xohoneybun @anchovy89freya @dysphoricsanity @ghostheartbeat @rebloggiest-reblogger @wishyoudaskme @imawhoreforu @academiacoffeelover @softservepunk @andiebeaword @r-3dlips @wakaladjarin @ratbastardchild @mcira @danika1994 @stargurl99 @whovianwholikesgirls @its-not-too-late-for-coffee @doriantomybasil @shqwqrma @shits8gigs

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #mgg #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fandom #spencer reid x self insert #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x oc #criminal minds fic #criminal minds fluff #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid series #that's what you get

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cyberchronics · 5 months

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・。.・゜✭・.・✫..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

me? writing (mostly) fluff? unheard of. and yet

suguru geto + new years, because I couldn't stop myself

★ fluff, suggestive, drinking, parties, hooking up, strangers to lovers ★

a/n: did not think I would go into 2024 being a tumblr writer 😭 so thankful for all the support i've been getting from friends and the ppl on this website. if you've ever read my fics, I'm so incredibly grateful. can't wait to keep entertaining y'all and do it all over again next year 🫶🏾🫶🏾

∘₊ ✧───────────────────✧₊∘

Suguru has never been one to party recklessly. but when his best friend and (unfortunately) his roommate insists on throwing an elaborate New Year's party every year, he's forced to endure. Satoru is loud and so are his guests, noisy music blending into the sound of people talking.

When he ducks out of his room to get a glass from the ridiculously expensive champagne tower, everything is just too much. Suguru is content with staying in his room and drinking alone, maybe getting lucky enough to drink himself to bed before the ball drops.

Then you stumble into his room. It's obvious that you're drunk by the way you trip over your own feet, and he's almost sure that you were looking for the bathroom. Usually, he'd just kick a drunk person out. Give them directions he knows they'll forget so at least his floor isn't getting puked on. But something about you is different. You've caught his attention.

Suguru climbs out of bed and guides you in the right direction. He's not as annoyed when you cling to him, blabbering nonsense in his ear about how thankful you are. When you off-handedly mention how cute he is, he smiles without having to think about it. He doesn't even mind when you do inevitably throw up and he has to rub your back through it. It's kinda endearing, in a way.

Time passes, and he finds himself taking care of you for the night. You're sat in his lap despite Suguru's instance that you lay in his bed until you feel better, arms loosely wrapped around him as you sip a bottle of water. He doesn't think he could pry you off if he tried, especially not when your fingers start playing with his hair. Despite the suddenness of it all, there's no feeling of being bothered that presents itself. It's a comfortable silence that steals all his attention.

Then the commotion in the next room starts. Suguru's about to tell you to ignore it before the chaos organizes itself into a countdown, starting with 10 and slowly working its way down. Shit, is it that time already? Before he can properly react, you're already snaking your arms around him in a tight hold. He doesn't object to what he knows is coming, instead holding your hips and leaning in close.

Two pairs of lips crash together in a heavy kiss as a choir of "Happy New Year's!" erupts in the living room. The sweet taste of your makes him want to moan, the intimacy of the moment almost too much for him to handle. Suguru's craving more even though this one hasn't ended yet. The embrace devolves into a mix of desperate making out and touching, hands drifting along both of your bodies as you taste the champagne on each other's tongues.

It's not a surprise to Suguru when he wakes up cuddled up to you, skin covered in purpling bruises with only a blanket obscuring his body from prying eyes. he rarely hooks up, much less at parties, but he doesn't regret it. He knows his hangover is about to slam into him, the dull throb of ache steady in the back of his head. That doesn't stop him from admiring you, swiping a thumb over your bitten lips, and giving you a feather-light kiss on the forehead.

Maybe partying isn't so bad if it means finding someone like you.

・。.・゜✭・.・✫..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

#jujustsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #geto suguru #jjk suguru #suguru geto #🧠#💍#getou suguru x reader #jjk geto #geto x reader

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twiceland · 5 months

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oh my gosh okay first of all happyyyy wednesday (it is wednesday in my timezone hehe) to everyone !!! today i hit 1k followers after having this blog since october 2022, and i feel ever so grateful for all of you, mutuals or not, for supporting me throughout this wild ride <//3 i'm currently in exam season (i'm crying inside) so i haven't been very active this year but i am still so happy and excited and ahhhh!!!!!! this means so much to me and honestly i can't even believe that we're here in this moment but wahshjdfhgjshd thank you all soooooo much <3 to celebrate, i decided to write mini email looking notes for some of my mutuals! please don’t be offended if i didn’t write an email for you; if you would like an email and we are mutuals please send me an ask and i will 100% write you one!!!!

to: miru ( @rosiesared ) subject: my fav yunjin stan

MIRUUUUU <3 i still cannot believe we’ve been friends for almost two years. you are genuinely one of the kindest people i know and one of the most genuine ones i know. you’re always there when i just wanna talk and ramble and we ramble together and i adore you for that 🥹 i remember us meeting and me being intimidated as fuck by you but u are the sweetest and have the most amazing personality 💖💖💖💖 i’m so proud of you always I LOVE U TO BITSSSSS

to: isai ( @solojihyo : @yosang ) subject: jihyo’s wife ( real !!! )

MY CLUMSY BLOB <3 hi my love!!! you are someone i love and hold so dearly to my heart <3 you’re someone i can talk to at my happiest and my worst, and you help me become a better version of myself. you’re so sweet and lovely and such a genuinely wonderful person and i appreciate you being in my life these past couple of years. i adore you!! love you sooooooo much my fav horanghae lover (btw i walked into a pole again yesterday. i didnt hurt myself dw) (also thank u for convincing me to download the cracked ps from the link you sent in the server) (i lov u)

to: michaela ( @mandu : @thefeelz ) subject: jennie’s loml

when you followed me i was so sure i was in a fever dream. i’m pretty sure i blinked at my screen like 200 times. ANYWAYS you are literally ,,,,, i think the only way to say this is so fucking cool . although we don’t talk a lot, seeing u on the dash is always a sure way to make me smile <3 i love youuuuu

to: zay ( @jeonwonwoo : @kimsdahyun ) subject: jeonghan’s bff

HI MY MOST BELOVED ZAY !!! over the last couple of months we’ve gotten sm closer and i just love hearing ab u talk about our fav sebongs and ps stuff && everything you’re passionate about. you’re genuinely one of the most fun and funny people i know and i adore you so much <3 love u love u love u jeonghans wife 💖💖💖💖 MY MOST AESTHETIC PRETTIEST QUEEN !!!!!

to: dana ( @lesseraive ) subject: chaewon = loml = the only girl ever

dana!!!! i still cannot believe its only been … a little more than a year? since we became mutuals 😭 you’re the best. i love shittalking w you, talking about our girls (jangchae) and how izone deserved and deserves better (we miss u izone) (u are forever) (never izgone) . you’re like an older sister to me and i feel like i can talk to you about anything. thank you for being here and being my friend, i love youuuu <3 jeonghyeon p01

to: elv ( @seokmins ) subject: seokmin’s pizza girl !

elvvvvv <3 tbh we’ve talked to about this before but i think the most funny part of our friendship is me not remembering how we met HSKFBSJSK i know that we were both mutuals in laws through isai but honestly it feels like we’ve been mutuals for like ….. ever. you are so sweet and lively it feels like we are just two sunshines together in a field of sunflowers whenever we talk 😭 you make me smile whenever you come up on the dash and you deserve all of the love in the entire world <3 sending my squishiest hugs your way! 💗

to: mini ( @venompinks ) subject: #1 blackpink lover

MINI MINI MINI !!!! hi beloved <3 tbh ive always seen u as like an older sibling to me. you have rhsi comforting vibe that just emulates love & support and i adore that. i love seeing ur creations && support towards ur favs (esp the pinks hehe) and ur so so so lovely!!!! sending u all the squishiest hugs in the whole wide WORLD !!!!!

to: theo ( @lovebitxx ) subject: chaer’s #1 <3

THEO THEO THEO THEO !!!!! i remember you following me during your lixblr era and feeling so :OOO bc that was pre gg blog and i was like wowowow bc all of your creations are so pretty 😭😭😭 im so happy we’ve gotten closer and u always make me smile and just seeing u on my dash and talking to u makes me so happyyyyy!! you’re so passionate about your favs and its always so nice to see you get excited about them ): i love youuuu so much 💗

to: daisy ( @svmit ) subject: juhyeon’s bf ( REAL ! )

MY DAISYYYYY i love you!!!! getting to know you have been soso fun and im so glad to know you 🥹🥹🥹 you’re genuinely so sweet and adorable and i want to squeeze u into the tightest hug 🫂 my fav lightsum && ptg stan 4ever!!!!! 💞💞💞

to: shreya ( @fawad-khan : @kiimtaehyung ) subject: tae’s wife & hyunjin’s gf 🎀🎀🎀

my most beloved shreya!!!!! hi akka i love u to the moon and back and beyond 💞💞💞💞 its kinda crazy to think a year ago we barely knew each other and now we’ve both celebrated our birthdays and waaaaaa it feels insane. i feel like. you’re genuinely someone i see as my older sister and i want to hug you so bad and. YEAAAA the momo to my sana i love youu <3 also thanks for teaching me that andrew garfield is a real person 😁 mwah

to: theo ( @toplines ) subject: best jeongyeon stan!!!!

HI MY LOVELIEST THEO!!!!! I ADORE U HEHE thank u for being one of the silliest most funny most genuine people in my life u are quite literally the kuromi to my melody, the jeongyeon to my sana and i lov u lots!!!!! u are the best ever and u deserve all the love and moreeee 💞💞💞💞 hehe ALSO U ARE THEEEE GFX ICON OF ALL TIME

to: lau ( @saerom : @127s ) subject: saerom’s biggest fan (real)

HI LAUUUUU hehe i know we havent been close for that long (i think we met in userps i dont even remember if im being honest) but you’ve always been someone i look up to. you have this ability to like. stay calm and handle difficult situations with ease and are so funny and fun to talk to!!!! ilu a lot and u are genuinely the sweetest ever <3333 also u are THEEEE URL QUEEN !!!!! never forget !!!!! hugs !!!! 💞💞💞💞💞

to: hales ( @3rachaas ) subject: changbins wife confirmed!!!

HALES HALES HALES HI !!! u are the funniest person ever actually genuinely seriously 100%ly (how many more adverbs can shri use,, more at ten) u are my east coast bestie and i love playimg games with u even if u win every single time 😓😓😓 ILY SOOO MUCH i wish i could hug u sososoososososo bad <////3 mwah!!!! also u are my fav 3racha stan 4ever (edit i hate tumblr ANYWAYS i miss our uno game nights can we have one again) (also hales edit era we miss u) (ilyilyilyilyily)

to: lee ( @komca ) subject: komcanation ‼️ mark’s wife

hi mother 😁😁 u are my favorite mark stan 😁😁 i lov u 😁😁 no in actuality i love u sm lee u are one of the most understanding kindest most funniest most amazing person ever u just. deserve all the love in the world!!!!! i love ur markisms and ur love for rnb and just how passionate u are about ur hobbies and interests!!!! adore u to the moon and back I LOVE U SMMMM HEHE MY ILICHIL LOVER IN CRIMEEEE 💜💜💜

to: naina ( @tutontawan ) subject: sakura’s wife 💞

sunshine wifey! HI MY FAVORITE PERSON EVER the hello kitty to my melo, kkura to my eunchae, gaeul to my wonyo, i adore u sooooo much u are quite literally my twin in every aspect and i love uuuuuu!!!!!! u are just the most sunshiney person to ever sunshine and never fail to make me smile and happyyyy I LOVE UUUUU MY FAV i cant wait to meet u one day <3

to: ace ( @ajusnice ) subject: my maknaez in crime <3

ACE ACE ACE ACE ACE ACE HELLO HI my fav gose watching partner hehe <3 no but actually its kinda bizarre how we havent been friends for a year but it feels so much. longer idk 😓😓 thank u for being sososoaoao supportive u always make me laugh and whether its u berating me over using light mode or screaming over junshua its never a boring day when we talk 🥹 im glad to have u as my friend and ILYSM!!!!!! 💞💞💞💞💞

i hope all of you had the happiest new years and hope that 2024 is our best years yet!!! love all of you sooooo much and thank you once again ♡♡♡♡♡

#shri talks ♡#milestones ♡#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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fbwzoo · 6 months

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I can't share the 30-some pictures I did with my FB post, going from last December to this December. So I'll just use this one - which I just took after a quick harness training session in which she bounced across half the couch to meet me & wagged for the first 15 seconds, and before she made me put my phone down for a bout of snuggle scritches. 😭🥰

This is such a long post, I'm going to put it under a cut. But today is the 1 year anniversary of Emma coming home to us, and I am FULL of emotions over this little dog. So if you want to read my rambling & think with me how far my baby has come in a year.... read on!

One year of my Emma. 💙💜 I didn't really expect to love this dog so much, velcro dog and all. She is definitively My Dog, and I never had a choice in the matter. I think that was just gonna happen, ever since I first saw her adoption post 1 year & 9 months ago. Every time I saw her posted again, I wanted her. It was meant to be! 🥰

And now I look back on the year & think about it all. We changed a bunch of things in our household for this little dog, and all year, we kept adjusting & improving where it was needed for her & the other animals. I love my family so much, and I'm so grateful to have found these other people who love animals & are so willing to adapt as needed for their happiness too. Everyone in the house agreed to take on a project dog, and everyone stepped up to help her settle in.

It's weird too, bc it often doesn't feel like we've DONE that much. But when I tell someone new about her, or spell it out for myself, I'm reminded that we've done the work, even if it mostly didn't seem like work. And we gave her what we knew we absolutely could, what she needed most - time and space. We went at her pace, let her lead us, and it's been truly amazing to watch her over this year.

Emma has gone from being very worried to terrified about any & all human movements, unable to be pet or touched, quick to be on guard at any small change in position. Terrified of loud noises and too much activity. Barking at Joel to try and make him go away. Pottying in the house on pee pads because outside is scary. Only laying in a lap if the lap was covered with a blanket.

All of that.... to a dog that spends 98% of her time relaxed, happy, and ready to be involved. She greets us with alert barks instead of guarding barks, tail wags, bouncing, and licks (okay, mostly me for some of that but still). Everyone in the house has been able to pet her. She actively loves to be pet by Jack in bed & me anywhere when she wants snuggles. She plays with her dog siblings and with me. She discovered the joys of yard zoomies early on & never looked back - she potty trained faster and better than Spring!

She knows and likes our household routines. She LOVES food, and it's the quickest way to her heart! 😂 But she's learned some manners too, like not snatching food with any opportunity! She's gotten more comfortable being on the floor. She still likes to chew more than our other two, and has gotten really great at managing big emotions by redirecting to a Benebone!

We're not the best at active training, but even so, she makes us & me look good! She's interested now, when the treats come out, and wants to see what to do to get some. She interacts with new objects, she is doing great with harness training.

She has opinions now!!! And she will tell you!!! Especially if they involve dinner time! 😂 I still can't believe she demand barks now, and it's been too cute for us to bother stopping for the most part.

I've thought about goals for her over the next year, and I definitely have some big ones. Continue harness training until I can put it fully on her & take it off. Leash skills & comfort with them. All of that slowly, so slowly leading up to trips out of the house - to do vet happy visits, check out some SniffSpots, and go visit her sister at foster mom's house. I also want to introduce some pattern games to help with all of that.

And we plan to start having people over to the house again! Not sure how often or how many, and we may have to alter pace based on how she does. But she's so often surprised us with her resilience, so I think we'll do okay! (And obviously all visitors will be required to follow rules around my pup, or face the mama bear wrath 😂)

But mostly....I just can't wait for another year with this extremely sweet, loving, exuberant little dog that is working so hard to find her confidence. We're all so very proud of Emma, and love her so much. 💜💙

I also included a thank you to both rescues & Emma's foster mom, for all of their time, work, and hoops to ensure that Emma would be safe. They genuinely gave us all the information we needed to make sure we were prepared, and I am even more grateful for that after seeing how rare our experience is in my fearful dogs group.

#dogblr #fearful dogs #rescue dog #Emma pup #fbw rambles #my pets #long post #i just.... can't believe how far she's come #especially when it feels like we've done so little #i didn't know what to expect in bringing home a half feral fearful dog #she was honestly easier than we were braced for #but i still would've been so much bigger a mess without the initial support of foster mom and the training rescue #and especially my dog discord #who I've leaned on even after we stopped pestering the trainer via text

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veeeffvee · 14 days

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You are so so so kind and sweet... I appreciate all of your lovely words and well wishes so much. I just do not have the ability to properly express it, I do not know how.

Things on my part are super complicated as usual, there is no way for me to even grasp the extent of it. A portion of it I could sum up with: my mental and overall health has not been good these past several months, my disabilities / mental and chronic illnesses have gotten worse, everything is super exhausting and draining, I barely have the strength/energy/executive functioning to manage simple everyday tasks (even those I tend to procrastinate on quite badly) and as a result of that I have not been taking very proper care of myself lately, which then of course results in my state getting even worse, and the cycle continues. I really want to get better and get out of this recent slump but it is hard and I am so tired.

I just feel like I would need a complete break from the entire world for at least a couple of months + sleep at least for 1 year straight, you know? Do you ever feel that way too? Pardon me for assuming, but I just have this feeling that you would probably understand.

I am sorry for dumping all of that on you, forgive me. I hope it does burden or stress you out too much, but if so, please tell me. I just felt the need to give a little bit of context/explanation.

Though, on the other hand.. All of that only makes me appreciate, cherish and treasure your kindness and sweetness all the more. Thank you with my whole heart, Vee. <333

Also, I wanted to say this a lot sooner, but in regards to the tags you left on the second-to-last ask I sent in (probably from the beginning of April, if I remember correctly?)... I cannot tell you how much it has warmed my heart to hear that you consider me a friend. 🥺🥹😭 It is SUCH an honour, seriously!! It means so so so much to me and I do not know how to thank you enough. Please know that I treasure every single interaction we have, as well as you as a person, and if you are okay with it, I consider you my friend too. <3

You are such a lovely person, even if you may not feel that way about yourself, and I am grateful that I made the (really bold for my timid ass, lol) decision to begin sending you asks back in August when I started getting into G&P.

Again, thank you for being my friend, and just for being so kind and lovely and for being yourself. ❤️❤️❤️

I wish you nothing but the absolute best, from the bottom of my heart.

(The Shy & Awkward & Anxious Anon)

Yeah, I can understand that feeling of wanting to put life itself on pause, I totally feel that whenever I'm overwhelmed. Specifically for me, I'd like to stop being "me" for a while, you know? To stop being "Vee." To stop being "[irl name]" and just be someone else for a day or a week or a year. I can get a bit of that whenever I'm writing a character but it's not quite what I want lmao. I think you maybe just need to lose yourself in some hobby, like really get into the zone while doing something. But ahh I'm not an expert on this stuff, I just wanna help however I can haha

By the way, you don't have to explain yourself to me or justify not messaging me for a while, especially if you don't actually want to. Life just gets in the way sometimes, I totally get it! And it certainly doesn't get any easier as you get older lmao, so I understand. Although I do appreciate a little check-in now and then just to make sure you're still okay ;v;

And let me just say that it's been a pleasure to be your friend. I really do enjoy your kind messages, and it's just nice in general to be able to talk to you (even though it's in this ask/answer format lmao)

I hope things get better for you soon, because it makes me sad to hear that you're struggling. Please don't give up, because I believe in you. :>

#anxious anon #You can dm me if you don't want to talk about this stuff publicly btw #I can only answer anonymous asks publicly - private answers have to be off anon #Alternatively I wouldn't mind adding you on Discord tbh lmao

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moonstruckme · 14 days

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Hi Mae! I’m gonna ramble in your inbox for a sec don’t mind me

So it’s graduation season (as you are very aware, congrats btw!!) and I just graduated high school today and it was great but it was also really sad (and I’m aware this is very dumb to complain about because a lot of people have no one around them to support them and I am very lucky because I do) but I was there alone up until the ceremony started and my family came to watch.

And I know that I wasn’t the only one getting ready alone but it made me kinda sad to see all these kids with their parents helping them get ready and taking care of them and I didn’t have that. And I know that it’s not because my parents don’t love me, they just always have so much going on and I’ve always kinda had to look after myself and I’m usually fine. (And realistically I know if they were there it would probably be way more stressful) but for some reason it just made me really sad. I was struggling to get all my stuff on right so much that the girl in front of me had to help T-T and I just kept thinking that I wish I had a mom there.

Thankfully I had friends there who were looking after me too (one of them gave me free rein of his chocolate pretzels ♥️) and my teachers were all really great but I was literally on the verge of tears all day bc of all the emotions T-T

Also a random guy saw me waiting after the ceremony by myself and just said “congratulations, kiddo” i literally almost started bawling 😭 so I am very lucky that I had more support than a lot of other people, I was just kinda lonely for a bit. (I really hope this doesn’t come across like I’m ungrateful rip)

Anyways that’s all!! I hope things are going well for you!

Hi lovely, I don't think that's dumb to complain about at all!

I actually think I really get where you're coming from, my parents are divorced and often I find it easier to tell them I'm just going to do things on my own rather than mediate who will be with me at what time and where, so lots of the big parent-centered events in my life have been by myself too. I understand that you want to give them credit where it's due, and I think it's a good thing that you still know how much they love and care for you but it's totally understandable to feel sad regardless.

It's so kind and considerate of others to try and step in for you when they see you don't have the support they do, but I know that in the moment that also doesn't always feel great. When I was little my dad never wanted to come to anything and often my friends' dads would take turns doing the thing with me so I didn't feel left out, and that was so so sweet of them but I was pretty embarassed at the time! It's not nice to feel pitiful, and the idea that people are perceiving the same thing as you are in your parents' absence probably didn't make you feel better.

Like you said, none of that detracts from how loved you truly are, and it sounds like you know this already but it seems like you also have all this excess love pouring in from the people around you!! I'm incapable of not looking for silver lining, and to me all those kind people are definitely something to be grateful for, but also I think it's okay to let yourself mope a little if you want to my love. Don't deny how you feel because you think it's dumb or unjustified or anything of the kind! I promise you it's very valid.

Congratulations on your graduation sweetheart!! I'm sure your family are all very proud of you, as well as the friends who were there for you on the day (and me too!!). I hope you enjoy a lovely summer and take some time to reward yourself for all your hard work before whatever comes next <3

#mae's asks

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goldencuffs · 26 days

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I was wondering about how you feel about amw. From some of the posts when you came back, and some of the tags, I get the impression that it's not a fic you vibe with. Maybe bc your tastes/mindset has changed since you started it, that's definitely happened to me in what fic I prefer to read.

So I was wondering whether you dislike writing it bc the theme isn't something you find enjoyable to write anymore or bc you just don't like the story point blank, but we love it so you continue for us so it's finished and there's resolution for the amw readers. Or if it's bc you dislike having a fic in limbo that's partially posted for your own sake. Like, it's something that hangs over you, but if you finish it, it's finally done and it won't lurk in your thoughts any longer.

I know when I have a task to do, it hovers over me and if I don't do the thing, I start to get anxious about it. And the anxiety grows every time it pops into my thoughts, but once I cross it off my list, I feel *free* and able to breathe again.

I only ask bc sometimes it seems like you don't want to write it or that it's become an arduous task for you.

I'm genuinely grateful that you've chosen to finish writing it, and I don't mean anything negative about this ask. It's just something I noticed and wanted to understand better. I adore your writing and reading your interactions/reactions with everyone. You're the only reason I still use Tumblr. I hope my question(s) don't upset you, if that is the impact, then I am truly sorry. I hope you have a beautiful weekend 💖💖💖 - all the love from another Aaron Dessner girlie 🤍

this is literally the sweetest most thoughtful ask oh my god 😭🥺

for me, all my words was honestly just supposed to be a one shot. and then it grew longer and longer and i was writing it alongside in the absence of a king which is my baby and (in my opinion) the best thing i've ever written so it was exhausting continuing the two together. especially because i dont think amw is good writing/my best writing. you can especially see that in the first few chapters, which are pretty directionless.

when i left on my hiatus i was dealing with a very tough situation with my family (which is still ongoing unfortunately) but i never truly planned on ever abandoning ITAOAK. i ALWAYS knew i was going to finish it, which is why i tried working on it as much as possible over the last two years. i wanted to especially finish it for me, bc like i said i loved it and i wrote it for myself and i was the ideal target audience lmaoooo

so in comparison - while i still definitely vibe with amw's concept/storyline - it just truly paled in comparison for ITAOAK. also i've always been worried about amw's ending. i know people have certain expectations for this kind of au and i..... have not written it the way people would want. like i said, it's unrealistic and not... great. so. that is still making me very nervous too.

ALSO i have new stories im excited for and just wanted to put those up right away and i was feeling trapped by amw being incomplete.

that being said - i am so unbelievably grateful for everyone's support and the fact that people still want to read it. it definitely played a huge part in me continuing the story and now i can move on in peace with zero unfinished works!!! 😍🤗💖

#sorry this is so long #i know no one truly cares #but it felt good to get it off my chest #so THANK YOU queen for asking!!!!!!#ilyyyy #asks

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merakiui · 1 month

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how do you manage to write for scaramouche so well?? ❤😭 it may be because i havent played genshin before. but. you srsly have me simping HARDCORE for this man, to the point that i wanna get in on the action too and write something of him for myself!!!- but as someone whose barely wrote before and struggles with dialogue sm, it feels impossibly difficult.. may i ask for some tips or advice abt this, if youre up for it ofc? and this is off topic but i also want to say that i enjoy reading every single writing of yours, and im very very thankful to you for even choosing to post them in the first place. reading something that you write will always make my day sm better and i appreciate you so much. im so sry this became so long rn, but i wish you a day as hardcorely wonderful as youve made me simp so hardcorely for scaramouche!!! (it was sounding better in myhead NOO. in all seriousness tho i wish you the best day ever possible, THANK YOU!!! you should be super duper proud of yourself for making these masterpieces and i srsly hope you are, even tho i know its hard to feel this way abt your own work!!!)

AAAAA this is so sweet... 🥺 thank you for enjoying my writings and the way I portray Scara!!!! (੭´͈ ᐜ `͈)੭♡ I'm glad you can love and simp for him!!!!!! He deserves many fans!!!! >3< and I'm grateful to know my works can make you happy!!! I wish you the most amazing, hardcorely wonderful day as well!!!!!! 💖💖

As for advice I'm not sure if it's advice for writing dialogue or Scara, but I can share my thoughts for both!!! :D dialogue is fun because, while it's still conversational, it can come in many forms depending on the context and dynamic/relationship between the characters. For example, dialogue between a boss and their secretary will be different from that of dialogue between close friends. Real-life conversations aren't perfect; we stutter, repeat words, trail off in what we're saying, ramble, interrupt, use fillers like "um" or "ah," and so on. Adding these elements into dialogue between characters can help it feel more natural.

With Scara, he has so many layers and can be written in many different ways depending on what era of him you're writing for. What I like most of all, though, is his ability to act so friendly. I feel as if this ability of his is somewhat forgotten, but in the Unreconciled Stars event he approached Traveler and company with such a friendly façade. Even his intonation was bright and kind (as opposed to how he later addresses the Fatui soldiers)!!!!! orz orz I adore this aspect of his character,, how he's able to be both a brilliant actor and an intimidating Harbinger all in one. His sharp, sarcastic tongue... the threatening aura he has despite being so short hehe. <3 there's so much to love!!

I like to imagine him as the stray cat they tell you not to feed often otherwise he'll continue to come around even when there isn't any food to give. Although it also helps that he's portrayed as a cat in Nahida's fairy tale. ;;; I love Scarameow with all of my heart!!!! It's also important to note that, as evil as he was during his era as a villain, there were also facets to him that showed some gap moe. How he cares for the elderly and children. How we know that he has a tendency to get attached to things, to seek a purpose, to know what it's like to be human and feel human, to be accepted and loved.

His misunderstanding with Ei also plays a role in how he views the world (and how he'd probably be wary in falling in love because he fears abandonment). Whereas Ei was hoping he could live his own life by setting him free rather than destroying him as Miko had wanted her to do, Scara mistook the gesture as abandonment and betrayal. And from his perspective it's hard to see the goodwill in what Ei did because she,,,, didn't exactly go about it in the best way. ^^;;;;

Aaaa there are just so many parts to consider from the timeline of his existence. As Wanderer, it's really heartwarming to see him gradually healing and accepting himself as well as letting go of past grievances (but also taking accountability for and acknowledging all that he did as well as all that he is). He still has that same sharp-tongued sarcasm and there are still rough edges, but he's not so harsh or vindictive. 🥺 I just adore him so much...

I rambled a lot and I'm sorry. T^T I hope it's helpful advice and not just my adoration for Scara shining through. ;;;;;

#sweet messages

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jealousmartini · 3 months

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HAPPY MARCH🥳

`☆ ⋆ ｡ It's the beginning of a new month! ｡ ꕤ~ .

Quick confession. I didn't start the year the way I promised myself I would as a master manifester, a shifter and an art studentin college😭 plus today's the last day of my 2nd project and I will just say.. I didn't prioritise my time as well as I should have. So I'm not gonna let myself cry over wasted time along side incomplete work and lock in🤞🏽

But anyway I want to share my plan for this month. I am going to keep on top of:

☆ Journaling, Scripting and Vaulting

In my introduction, I said I would introduce myself as I would in my better current reality and really embody my drself. I'll be honest, the closest I have been to embodying my drself was daydreaming being my drself🧍🏿‍♀️ So I want to change that once and for all. I am sick of wishing I was her instead of realising I literally am her ffs.

So, I think vaulting as I am my drself and tracking my manifestation journey is an awesome way for successful embodiment. Because essentially when I am vaulting about my (dr)self, I am just affirming to myself about who I am by saying "I am this" or "I love having that" or maybe "my blah blah blah is so cute" and "I am so grateful that xyz".

☆ Practicing entering the void

Okay so I already understand that the void is nothing special (to me at least). The only reason why people think its special is because of the fact that you instantly recieve your desires once youve affirmed them when in the void (please for the love of god dont think you cant manifest instantly outside of the void. It is just a tool). It is literally just a deep meditative state. You are literally just meditating. It's the stillness state. The state of just being. Your I am-ness. So now that I have taken the void off the pedestal, I feel like I can enter the void anytime I try now and I will this march.

☆ Persistance/Loyalty to the new story

Something I've struggled with is persistance to my manifestations simply because of what I see in the 3D. Even when i've persistantly affirmed to myself for something not to happen or to get something, sometimes the opposit happens and I'll get what i didnt want.. but im content with it because it actually turned out alright, and I'll just settle for that. But whats really interesting is that Ive learned to always stay neutral to it anyway. I understand that nothing in the 3D has any meaning whatsoever. The the 3D is neutral and circumstances literally don't matter. Only I have power of the 3D and nothing in the 3D can have power unless I let it. And this applies to who i choose to identify as. Do i identify as someone who doesnt quite have everything she wants or do i identify as someone with everything i could ever want. So usually if I see something i don't like I'll just shake it off. Which brings me to

☆ Revision

Ive been in the loa community for 5 years and I learnt about revision 2 years ago through a revise your past subliminal. I didn't even know you could actually rewrite your past so this kind of opened me to really understanding the law of assumption applies to everything.

Since then I've been using revision subliminals here and there to revise certain scenarios and whatever, but I haven't really been using revision to its true potential. As I have learnt I can change the past, I will be vaulting/scripting my desired past through different eras of my life that I've already lived. So stuff like what highschool I went to and how I did in it, erasing unfavourable moments and replacing them with something better suited to me to align myself with my actual (dr)self

☆ Using general blanket affirmations and making specific affirmations that resonate with me to rewire my mindset and self concept

I already do this but 1. I don't do it as much as I'd like to and 2. I am altering the way I think about myself and everything in general. So I guess the way I used to affirm kind of felt robotic, forced and fake. So I figured I will use the generalised blanket affirmations I actually like to use and not the ones I'm told to use that I don't connect with, as well as make my own affirmations personalised to what I identify as and embody. This brings me to my next topic.

☆ Subliminals

Okay so I saw this post from another loa blogger talking about subliminals and they said that changing the reason why you use subliminals can really improve your manifestation journey. So instead of using subliminals to get something, use them to remind yourself you already have it. Use them to help you persist in in the fact that you are the version of yourself who HAS 1 million pounds or that you HAVE your dream life. Use them to REMIND yourself, you are already the version of you who has it. This goes for ANY and ALL subliminals by the way. Use your desired subliminals to repeat back what you identify as guys!

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────

MARCH IS MINE YOU GUYS DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND

Anyways Ciao!!😘

Im so shy to tag but wtv!: @urimaginarygirlfriend @realistically-shifting @4ellieluv @faeriemarie

#4d reality #desired reality #drself #law of assumption #shiftblr #shifters #loa #master manifestor #self concept

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sab-teraa · 3 months

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Tye Talks: A Diary Entry

(22/02/24 || 22:58 pm)

Good evening friends, I hope you are all well and having a lovely Thursday! Just one more day till the weekend! Yay <3

Inspired by the lovely @the-winds-of-destiny-xxx , I've decided to start blogging about my day. Hopefully, I will be able to stay up to date lol.

Work

Ugh, I've been up since 5am prepping myself to deliver my second lecture of the semester. It went well, kinda. The students were super interactive which is great. Application + practicality > regurgitating information. They did super well. Also, we have a new HoD, and while I really liked our previous heads, the new HoD is a breath of fresh air and I really enjoy their approach towards education.

My full-time job is actually soooo … atm. My colleague has resigned which is all cool and I wish her the best.

But, there’s a trend I’ve noticed recently within our organization … and I hope it does not present any problems in the future. Tbh, I think it has presented a problem before … but idk. Anyway, constructive criticism goes a long long way … only if you’re keen and willing to learn …. which this person defo is NOT.

Enough about my colleagues, the CEO presented me with an opportunity but I'm lowkey nervous .. bc I prefer being a private + somewhat anonymous person lol, but I obviously said yes. Let's see how it goes, anything can happen and this whole project might fall through. Especially in this economy.

All in all, I really love my job and the career path I’ve taken. I hope it does not backfire on me later on in life.

Uni

Gosh. Uni is the bane of my existence atm. Tho, i did make a bit of progress on my thesis today. I know exactly what I need to do, but I just don't have the motivation to it. But, I think I've finally got myself together .. so let's see what happens.

Also, I'm so grateful for my thesis supervisor <3 she is so understanding and supportive.

Health

Is this tmi? Maybe? Apologies if so?

But, my nose and throat have been KILLING me recently? Idk if it’s bc of the fan or what … but yup. Thank god for cloves! They’ve helped wayyyy more than anything else I’ve tried lol. Also, my pms is really starting to hit 😭😭 I’ve been in soooo much pain since I got back home.

My mentally, I’m doing okay … there’s obvs moments in the day where I’m like shit?? I’m an adult adult?? Yet my life feels so stagnant 😂 but then I try to keep it moving and not think so much about what I want … and I try to focus on what I do have…. bc I’ve done my best.

Fun and mundane

I finally got to go to my first gym class of the week - I really needed that! The housewives from my class invited me for smoothies afterwards … and they are so fun! Are they my mums age mates? Yes 😂😂 but I loved hanging out with them .. they truly live in their own bubble .. I wanna be exactly like them when I’m older lol.

Oh Oh! And I finally finished the second season of Al Rawabi School for Girls ... flip, it truly broke my heart. What an amazing show.

I really wanted to start the new season of Real Housewives of Durban … but the new Showmax app is truly YUCK! I have the ick 🫠🫠 but, I love the show waaaaay too much, so I’d probs get over it soon lol.

Other than gym and catching up on tv, I made a delicious lasagna for dinner. I'm convinced that my homemade meat sauce and cheese sauce remains undefeated, or maybe that's just me being cocky lol. If I had more space, I would have defo attempted to make the pasta too.

I'm super excited for this weekend bc my friends and I are going to this art and music event and getting food afterwards. I also really wanna buy that duvet set I saw online ... since I'm no longer purchasing an apartment (recession boo boo boo 🍅🍅🍅), I may as well just re-do my current apartment lol. It already looks great, but I've been putting off getting a new duvet set bc I presumed I was gonna buy a bigger bed lol... so I've just been rotating between the two sets I have ... and damn they've seen better days lol.

Relationships

After all he has been through, my brother finally has some great things happening. I am so proud of him. I know he will achieve everything he aspires to <3 This has also done wonders for his self-confidence, he truly needed this, and I hope ... I really hope that it stays on this positive track.

Positive family news aside, idk if anyone saw the post about my uncle? But god damn I'm annoyed af. (Side note: He is my mums cousin btw; but my entire family is close). Anyway, my uncle called my mum to rant … and according to my mum he was sooooo proud of what he said to his wife??? I’m just disgusted. Idk how. His wife could forgive him for this. I’m so glad my mum put him in his place ✋🏽✋🏽✋🏽

I know its not about me and I have no right to speak on other people's relationships, but I hate seeing people put their all into a relationship and even go against their own family to be with someone ... only for their partner to treat them like this. His wife deserves soooooo much better and its sooo heartbreaking that she has to go through. My heart truly breaks for her. I pray everything works out for her.

Conclusion

Anywho … if you made it this far! Thank you for reading my ramblings <3 wishing you a lovely day! Stay safe babes 😘

#tye talks #tbh I don’t think people would read this.#it’s more for me lol

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