#you can look away folks

[angy-grrr]

i have an issue I see with ppl trying to make shippers "understand" their ship could not become canon, and I dont think many would expect it.

Why are we pretending being in your late 30s is being middle age? Dont get me wrong, being a middle aged person doesn't have to mean anything about someone, but its just- not middle age literally.

I dont really understand bringing that up anyways, iit feels wrong to me to believe just ppl in their teens and 20s could ever do anything pro LGBT+ in general... I find it insulting, as if this is a new thing or impossible to believe older people could believe in queerness in a positive light or be queer themselves. The main reason in the west, and im assuming other parts of the world, there arent as many or as visible is, well, because people were dying because of the AIDS crisis + the isolation from being older and every single public space made for or just young queers or cishet older adults.

I get the point, but if I remember correctly every time I see someone trying to do that (of course im believing they have the best intentions in mind), they have to bring up how this is a Japanese middle aged man as a good enough reason.

I don't really mind about what others want to believe or how much they care in terms of shipping -if you prefer to be casual and not paying that much attention to what's canon or not, good for you! Many ppl are also like that and its completely valid, here in this side of Tumblr might seem like all of us believe and theorize about their endgame potential bc we are the ones that usually make more posts or longer content. But I dont like those assumptions about queerness being tied to young westerners, and I wanted to rant a little bit.

Again, I dont believe that was the intention in any of those posts, and im not trying to call out anyone, just rant.

#grrr talking #I just researched a little bit and well #Kaito who wrote blue flag with the first queer protagonists being serialized by shonen jump #he is literally just 2 years younger than horikoshi #he ended blue flag when he was 31 #idk I just dislike how aging is being seen these days in the internet #we could say middle age starts around 45-60s depending on how long ppl usually live in your area #it would be a little worrying if 37 is considered middle aged considering ppl in Japan are known for living until their late 80s-90s #and stilllll #what's up with the age??? #bring up the demographic bring up resistance from fans or how he just might not want to be remembered like that or be interested #but bringing age? why everybody that does this brings up age? #and also the sexuality of ppl we dont know #that has nothing to do with anything #an author being queer doesnt mean they want to make queer stories or characters #and an author not being queer doesnt mean they just want cishet stories #idk if I sound mean #I swear im just ranting ajdhjfhkdfshfksjh #you can look away folks

[uncanny-tranny]

I love you smile lines and worry lines and grey and white hair and wrinkles and purple spiderweb veins and the process of aging and living in a body that is standing the test of times. I love you experiences that make you wiser and stories that make you laugh, and every little process that happens to get to the point where you have so many memories because you have the fortune to be here and be so radiant

#positivity #pro aging #also i hate you 'anti aging' scams that capitalize on fear of aging. death by 1000000 papercuts for ye #saw a hair video where they restored the salt-and-pepper colour in an older clients hair and it looked SO GOOD at the end #i love when people throw in the towel and embrace their aging however that looks #it isn't productive to shame people who are ashamed of aging and i just want to. celebrate aging #in a world that simultaneously venerates youth and adulthood and hates BOTH you need to find some sense of freedom #as a Young Adult(tm) please please PLEASE older folks seeing this/following me know that i look up to you #older folks i need you to know that your worth NEVER diminished when you added a new number on your birthday cake #and your body and mind and soul NEVER lost worth because it started to creak a little at the joints #and i might be wrong about this because i'm still young but it can be SO tempted to miss your youth when you feel like... #...you've somehow LOST part of yourself by growing older. and so much of aging is about change and some things don't stay the same... #...and that IS scary and i will never once fault somebody for that. but please don't fall into the trap that because you've aged that... #...you somehow have forever lost fundamental pieces of Who You Are and you could never come back from that... #...for your own sake and sanity you deserve to find comfort and solice and understanding in who you still are... #...because you are still - at the core - the same. you can never take this away from yourself #and i know this might ring hollow because i just don't get what it's like to be older #but i have looked at my elders and felt awe at their age and their experiences #and i know what that is like and it's awesome. i just wish more older people knew that so many of us look at you with awe... #...and - if you can believe it - some of us ENVY your age or experiences or even body #i'm watching an 'older' content creator (older by internet standards 🙄) and i envy him for how eventful his life was #i envy that he experienced a different world - one that i have only heard about from my dad because i was too young to remember it #and i admire this person for their wisdom and thoughts because they've come from his experiences living in a Different World #it's that type of stuff that makes me unafraid to keep on living #inspired by following somebody like. twice my age posting about their excitement abiut growing older and !!!!!!! YEAHHHHHH #didn't realize they were closer to my dad's age but that's so cool???????????

[ladystoneboobs]

House of the Dragon s01e05 We Light the Way // Game of Thrones s02e06 The Old Gods and the New // House of the Dragon s01e05 We Light the Way // A Clash of Kings by George R. R. Martin, Chapter LVI, Theon V // House of the Dragon s01e07 Driftmark // Game of Thrones s02e03 What Is Dead May Never Die // House of the Dragon s01e07 Driftmark // Game of Thrones s02e07 A Man Without Honor // House of the Dragon s01e07 Driftmark // A Clash of Kings by George R. R. Martin, Chapter LVI, Theon V // House of the Dragon s01e07 Driftmark // A Clash of Kings by George R. R. Martin, Chapter XXXVII, Theon III // A Clash of Kings by George R. R. Martin, Chapter LVI, Theon V // House of the Dragon s01e07 Driftmark // Game of Thrones s02e06 The Old Gods and the New // House of the Dragon s01e09 The Green Council // Game of Thrones s01e04 Cripples, Bastards and Broken Things // House of the Dragon s01e09 The Green Council // A Clash of Kings by George R. R. Martin, Chapter LXVI, Theon VI // House of the Dragon s01e09 The Green Council // A Clash of Kings by George R. R. Martin, Chapter XLVI, Bran VI // House of the Dragon s01e09 The Green Council // Game of Thrones s02e03 What Is Dead May Never Die //

#gotedit #hotdedit #asoiaf #theon greyjoy #alicent hightower #long post #(c)lsb #in the entitled quote ali's being somewhat irrational and unfair bc nyra did not take an eye she's not trying to keep it away #rhaenyra was only trying to protect her own little boy whose eye alicent felt entitled to #while theon thought asha wanted him dead when she came to wf to save him tho she didnt have to and hes wishing her ill #and then we don't have a direct reaction to 'now they see you as you are' but you can see the words before that getting under ali's skin #making her look even more hurt and bewildered by her former bff than she already was on this night when her son was maimed #compared to theon still hurt by robb's ingratitude months later and caring abt being liked in wf even after his men killed some of the folk #so that's more a vibes based thing but the rest should be self-explanatory #happy theon thursday! #the book citations are so detailed bc i had this fully edited almost a week ago scheduled for next theon thursday #so i kept coming back to the queue to look at my work and make small little edits #tv: house of the dragon #tv: game of thrones

[starflungwaddledee]

if starstruck Dee gets a comically large bow then Marc should have the comically large eyelashes

i was actually thinking that they both already have bows and eyelashes. consider: the ol' switcheroo

#starstruck is just like... nooo... not my recognisable silhouette...!!! anything but that!! #even though she usually has lashes the big dark ones look so silly on her?! 😂 marx would definitely share some falsies with her #this is the second marx of the shipaganza because i ended up without time to get to my more complex option today 😭 #tomorrow will also most likely be a bust as i have a big appointment and will be away. sorry!! doing my best tho!! #but i think if folks LIKE one of the suggested pairings/ships you could suggest more and it'll just be... well. more votes for them! #this is not *actually* a tourney. tho i suppose it... it COULD be?! but like... it'd be a bandee sweep almost certainly. so. #although actually there is someone else who has currently been suggested *three times*!! surprise underdog. anyway! #🎀💖 #<- also gonna start adding this as the tag just so folks can find all entries easily on my blog. or block it! that's important too. #my art #marx (kirby) #starstruck dee #asks

[scrawnytreedemon]

While I intend this blog to remain a largely news-free space due to the constant hellstate of the world, let me be clear that I stand in full support of both the Palestinian and Jewish peoples who are currently experiencing relentless hate and suffering in these horrid times.

I am disgusted at the number of people, especially "progressives" on this website who have used this situation to spread both Islamophobia and Antisemitism. This goes double if you dared to reblog those "punch nazis/fascists <3" and "[x] are welcome here!" posts while in the next breath spreading dangerous fucking narratives that kill people.

So many people in online political spaces evidently see this as nothing more than a case of picking "sides", when ultimately what matters is supporting the oppressed against fascist governments and militias, wherever they are.

Common people will always have more alike with each other than their leaders. This is not a novel concept. Your activism should always be motivated by love and compassion first, and hatred second. If you use your beliefs as an excuse to find an acceptable target to vent your hatred towards regardless of the actual material outcome, you are no fucking activist.

You're a bigot.

#current events #antisemitism #islamophobia #scrawny rambles #scrawny speaks #again i have not been saying much both for the fact that this blog is meant to be a quiet place #and that i do not consider myself to be a reliable source of serious information and/or morals #but regardless i have been watching i have been taking note #i see you i hear you #and while i am currently in no position to materially help right now #the moment i can i will #i don't like signalling this kind of thing because i want it to be evident in how i *act* #but as this cannot be taken as a given i will say this: #you are welcome here. i am so sorry the world is hateful and vile and i wish i could wipe it all away. #you and your folk did nothing to deserve this and you are right to be scared. and i wish to give you my love. #fascism and genocide are not things to be taken lightly. bigoted 'jokes' are vile and dangerous. human life is what's at stake. #we are heading into a wave of hate that has the potential to repeat history in the worst way imaginable. get a fucking grip. #i'm unlikely to address this further as again. reasons stated above. but i wanted to make my stance clear. #it is late as fuck and i'm pissed. people who should know better miss the fucking memo completely. #i'm fucking glad i unfollowed a popular blogger when i did because look what they're posting now. antisemetic 'jokes'. #i really wonder how common this shit truly is. how many people get away with cloaking themselves as 'progressive.' #or perhaps they genuinely think they are. cognitive dissonance is one hell of a drug. fuck them regardless. scum. #you are no progressive. you are a bigot. a leftist bigot is a bigot regardless of how 'revolutionary' you posture to be. #anyhow apologies for any errors. again. it's late. hope you guys are doing well <3

[obey-me-headquarters]

So, I haven't gotten too far into Nightbringer to write any specific smut for it. (Literally only just started lesson 6). But I do have some ideas!!

A lot of my ideas revolve around being the demon's "first" in something. Like, you know your demons inside and out at this point. You know all their kinks, fantasies, and where to touch them to make them squirm. So you can introduce them to all sorts of things that make them scream in the future but they have no experience with now.

For example, showing Lucifer how much of a masochist he is. I don't think Lucifer is a complete virgin in Nightbringer as I think he fooled around as an angel at least a few times. I mean, he's still a few thousand years old, he was bound to get curious and try getting frisky with a few angels. But him trying out BDSM? I seriously doubt it.

So once you and him finally fall into bed together, you show him all the ways he didn't know he loved to be touched. Having such an inexperienced Lucifer is a bit of a novelty and a bit of an annoyance. Present day Lucifer knew what he wanted and he wasn't ashamed of asking for it. The Lucifer you're currently bedding? Doesn't know what he wants.

It's actually really cute how shy Lucifer is. How he tries so hard to stifle his moans when you heard much louder, much needier ones from your present Lucifer.

And you don't want to push him. It's entirely possible that past Lucifer has no interest in BDSM. That his particular taste for masochism and being owned evolved after many centuries.

But you still want to try, to possibly open his eyes to a new world of domination and submission.

So one evening, one careful evening you've been planning for. One evening in which you make sure that his brothers haven't wreaked havoc, one evening where Diavolo doesn't up to distract Lucifer cause him stress. One perfect, relaxing evening, you spring the question onto him.

"Lucifer, have you heard about BDSM?" You ask in your most light, most casual tone to not raise any alarm bells and spook the demon.

Lucifer pauses his undressing, his hands suspended in the air as his tie hangs loosely around his neck. He turns to you in slow motion, looking so bewildered and confused that it makes you want to laugh. Surely your demon couldn't be that pure right? You know he's only been a demon for a little more than a year now, but, come on.

"I'm sorry, have I heard about what?"

"BDSM! Like, Bondage, Domination, Submissive, Masochism. Have you heard of people doing that sort of thing in bed?"

Lucifer's face turns a bright scarlet and he turns away from you. Like, actually physically turning his full back to you, turning away from you. You can see his ears still burning though, and elect not to tease him about it in worry that if you do, Lucifer might become so embarrassed he'll stop being the Avatar of Pride.

"It's fine if you haven't. If you would rather I never bring it up again say the word and I wouldn't." You tell him, concern starting to creep in.

"No. No, it's fine. I just. Why did you choose to bring that topic up?" He asks stiffly, hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. A classical Lucifer "I'm nervous about this topic because it inflicts Feelings in me" move.

"I was just wondering. I have been in dom/sub relationships in the, um, past, and was wondering if that was something you'll be into," you say gently, so extremely gently. "It's fine if that's not something you're into." You add.

"You have?" He asks in surprise, and because you know him so well, with a hint of excitement. "What... what role did you fall into?"

Relief crashes into you like a tidal wave. He's into it. He's really into it from what you can tell. He hasn't had any experience with subbing, you know because your Lucifer didn't when you meet him, but he was so desperate to finally try he practically threw himself at your feet.

Not this Lucifer though. This Lucifer most likely knows of the idea, maybe he picked up some porn featuring a dom/sub relationship and knows on some level that he's interested in subbing, but hasn't had the time to stew in that knowledge like your Lucifer did.

"Dominate." You say with confidence, a grin painting your face. "I like control in the bedroom."

And judging by the shiver that shoots up Lucifer's spine at your words, so does he.

Grinning, you stand and begin stalking towards your prey.

"I like taking control of my partner. Make them beg for relief. And if they misbehave, I like to punish them."

"Do. Do you?" Lucifer asks breathlessly.

You're standing behind him and you know he knows you're there. His demon sense picking up on it, and by the way he almost leans backward as if to meet your touch, you know he wants you.

"I do." You state confidently, mere inches away from Lucifer.

"But," your hand grasps Lucifer's shoulder and he flinches. "If my partner didn't want that...." You give him a light pull and he complies, turning to face you.

And oh, what a sight that is.

You missed your subby little Luci. You missed his cute moans, his tears as you edged him, and his screams when you overstimulated him. And you missed his flushed face when you lowered him into subspace.

And this? This perfectly mimics that face.

"Oh, baby." You breathe out, fighting the urge to pepper his face in kisses and pull him into your chest.

"And what if I do? Would you do those things to me?" Lucifer asks, and you're so, so proud of him for asking.

"Darling, I would do all that and more." You say as you kiss him.

Like your Lucifer did in the past, like he will do in the future, he lets you take control.

#obey me #obey me nb #obey me nightbringer #obey me lucifer #obey me nb Lucifer #my post #obey me dom!reader #ok so i know i said i was busy #and i AM #i should have NOT written this. this just got away from me #as yall can probably tell because this did NOT contain you showing Luci that hes a masochist lol #aw. oh well. i have a pretty clean idea of what i want that to look like #ill write that later #i SWEAR i will finish that one day... one day... #i noticed that i got quite a bit of notes from my Nb posts. and uh. #yeah sorry folks who are not in the know. im a smut writter. #a dom!reader smit writer in fact. sorry. #best to leave now if you're not into that

[my-chemical-rot]

Florida!!! by Florence + the Machine and Taylor Swift, Daytona Sand by Orville Peck, Spanish Moss by Against Me!, White Crosses by Against Me! //Pictures: map, surfers, post card, fountain of youth; plus my own photography // The Truman Show (1998) // Sunny Side Up by Jennifer L. Holm and Matthew Holm // Wikipedia

#don’t actually know what to tag this post but um. please reblog it <3 #actually I made this mostly for myself anyways but I did spend a bit of time on it #web weaving #parallels #idk I was thinking about heartbreak and aging and youth and ghosts and haunting and nature and beauty. florida!! #I think it’s ironic in a really intriguing way how the state now has a reputation for being where old folks come to retire #whereas the Spanish colonizers arrived in florida looking for the Fountain of Youth #in your quest to cheat death you brought violence and destruction but in the end you can’t conquer your way out of the inevitable #you can’t conquer age and you can’t conquer time and you can’t conquer death and you can’t conquer the ghosts that haunt the peninsula #aging is nature death is nature and that will always overpower you in florida #from hurricanes to alligators to Spanish moss to the brilliant shades of green all around #accept nature + accept death + accept aging + accept heartbreak. in florida. #I only have this many thoughts/feelings about it bc I grew up here #& when you grow up in florida your whole life it’s very easy to fall in love with the Spanish moss and alligators and oranges #and the way everything is in shades of Green much prettier than you’ve seen anywhere else #photography can’t do it Justice the landscape here can really take your breath away #Bandit.txt

[hangryyeena]

SquidgeWorld refusing to even talk about Palestine and other genocides happening because "this a fandom space" is wild and severely disappointing

#squidgeworld #// rant #'death threats' are not an excuse to stay silent!!!! #yeah they're not cool but you made it clear you wouldn't say anything either #stop allowing to look away by giving them a space where they can #what about palestinians or sudanis or congolese folk who are being genocided- #-who want the privilege to read fics on your site?? they don't matter?? #'you wouldn't ask google 'what's your stance on x' you are not google!!! you are *one* person!!!! #'fandom spaces are sacred' sacred enough to turn a blind eye to genocide?? the fuck??? #fuck your 'escapism' you are encouraging people to look away #that's not escapism that's ignoring the world in favor of your happiness #the LEAST you COULD'VE done was making a post saying you want a free palestine/sudan/dr congo/etc. or express SOME form of solidarity #'yes the world is unjust' then speak up bitch!!!! #so ao3 are zionists and squidgeworld is refusing say anything #maybe it's better for nobody to use your site 🤷🏾‍♀️ #if you can't even stand in solidarity with people of color then you don't actually care about fandom #because the people being genocided that you don't care about are the same people in these 'fandom spaces' you claim to care about!! #honestly feel like a damn fool for even suggesting people migrate there from ao3 #people who look away are not allies. they're cowards who don't want to lose support for being on the right side of history #anyways free palestine/sudan/dr congo/haiti/hawaii/tigray and other countries and nations experiencing genocide!!! #by refusing to speak up you have chosen the side of the oppressor. #long post

[404-art-found]

Decades after total nuclear war wiped out the bulk of humanity, a few roaming populations spent their days city-hopping for supplies. Before the war, City Nexi were an emerging form of artificial intelligence built for managing how a city or district functioned. These were typically used for weapons-making and were either destroyed or went rogue post-war.

Ari is the unofficial leader of a group of survivors familiar with how bloodthirsty these AI can be, because they're running on broken code, following a purpose to protect their weapons despite their purpose being long since past. Because of a drastic loss in information, it was presumed every Nexus was hostile, but Ari's group stumbles upon a Nexus built not for churning out war machines, but, of all things, urban planning. And, most startling of all, it is strikingly sentient, in a quiet, enigmatic way.

The Nexus's hub was in complete overgrowth and disrepair after so long, and quickly got attached to the first humans to fill its empty streets in years. Ari, an engineer, is thrilled to be able to repair and learn about such an endlessly complicated latticework of intelligence and steel.

#thoughts #my art #objectum #<- ?? Ive been looking thru the posts there because they are so true.. perchance you folks would enjoy- #-a sincere affection/admiration/attraction for a sprawling city-wide machine. the physicality of it #my ocs #oc: nexus #oc: ari #1st is unfinished and I do not think I Will finish it ough #2nd.. <3 started and finished while procrastinating the first. they love to just relax/sleep within its walls where they can- #-hear its machinations whirring and beeping away #nexus raking turning every camera in the room at once to whoever enters it: 👁️ #some confused and scared human(s): PUT THOSE AWAY

[dumbsoftboi]

#we’re stress testing babes #they should take away my ability to make polls #sorry did I say polls #I meant post #just delete my account while you’re at it #anyway #I love y’all and I hope you have a wonderful night <3 #god help you if you see this post it’s the worst thing I’ve ever done #hmm… I wonder if there’s a limit on the amount of tags a post can have? #a smart man would just look that up #but I am not a smart man #…however that is a test for another day #skate fast and eat ass folks

[writing-good-vibes]

💗 VALENTINE'S PROMPT REQUESTS 💗

as a very special valentine's treat, i'm going to be writing some corey x reader valentine's drabbles !!

please send some PROMPTS from [THIS LIST] through my INBOX 💌💭, and i'll write some little stories for us !! (probably between like 100 - 500 words) and there's no limit on req's so send as many as you like 🥰

[if you have any adjacent ideas or a specific direction for one of the prompts, you can send those too !!]

#corey cunningham x reader #corey cunningham #don't forget to specify number and category from the prompt list !! #i am so so so looking forward to writing some reader stuff for the most romantic time of the year lol 💗🥰💗🥰💗 #but also if anyone wanted to pair corey with another character 👀 i'd be more than happy to #you guys know who i have going through his revolving door so you can take your pick #i'll post everything on valentines day !! which is t minus ONE MONTH away folks

[flamboyant-king]

You know me. I like barely ever show any NOT SAFE FOR WORK drawings on here. So instead, I'm sharing drawings of my face AS I was drawing each NOT SAFE FOR WORK thing.

And the subject is right there, smack dab in the middle. Being tormented by the sins of the egg. (I drew him really cute but I can't share the rest.)

ALSO, I'd like to state that it's not corngraphic except like two maybe, it's more so like violent. We are all just having fun beating this guy up. Like, step right up and stomp on his face type shih. I never ever ever draw violent stuff, unless it's lewling related, so this is like cathartic.

This uhh feeling will fade after Halloween hopefully and we'll go back to our regularly scheduled wholesomeness and cammypus.

#i looked in a mirror 20 feet away as reference because im like NYAHAHA WHAT EVILS HAVE I COMMITED #and i see my own smug face in the mirror like 'yes this will get me hunted down' #sketches #i do comedy slapstick violence but ya know doing more darker jokes and adult humor feels nice like im not censoring myself #i mean i still am by not showing you guys a lot of the bloody or even H O RN Y stuff but ya cant expose everything #like for those of yall who have followed me for years id say were all legal here for more than my usual 13+ content #i just want ro be appealing to a broader audience IN CASE i ever did make it somewhere but haha its been what #8 years since i started this blog. any credit i had died off with teeny taku fhjdjsksajsk #ive got no image to uphold. i have nothing im trying to promote anymore. i do but ive lost the plot ya know #im just having fun and im glad you guys are just ...letting me? like i looked at my old stuff #with the cookies the pokemans the fehs the ocs. and yall just let me go freaking wild and thought #yeah ill give that a like. bless yalls hearts. bless ya souls. ive got thousands of posts on here and yall just let me run wild #and thank you for that. ya never pit pressure on me. kts me outting pressure on myself. #i do wish there were folks that did look forward to some actual tangible content instead of me shitposting with no cohesiveness #but thats just hard with adhd. and try as i might with medications and alarms and deadlines and what have you. its just. difficult #like even the tags here are derailing. but i hope that alongside me just having fun doing my thing. i hope i can get on course #where there is a clear line to follow in my life but i dont lose sight of it as i trail off #but for now. im just drawing experimenting and straight up goofing around. have fun you guys #i may not show you everything but just know im having fun too.

[non-un-topo]

Perferō turned a year old, so I’ve been having emotions.

(version with will-o the wisps under the cut)

#siggy draws #tog #nicolo di genova #tog fic #i'm genuinely sorry i talk about this fic so much omg. i'm very proud of it and did not at all expect people to like it as much as they did. #i think i was going through some rough stuff at the time. had the lowest self-esteem while writing it. #but some very wonderful friends still tell me how much they love it and ohh ;_; now it's one of the fics i'm most proud of. #like i wish i could write another fic along this vein but perfero is what it is already. <3 #at this point i just associate nicky with horror basically. love the melodrama <3 love putting him in spooky situations <3 #i have a playlist called fire and brimstone that has a few tracks i associate with this fic. but also just a general vibe. #like some folk metal. some nico (the singer not our nico lol). some patti smith. #highly recommend Traust and Anoana by Heilung. Also gave Ari's Song (and My Only Child) by Nico about 400 listens. #aaannnnnd The Northman soundtrack. it's all in the vibes okay #perfero #i'm too shy to tag this properly really #he should be covered in a LOT more mud but. you have to be able to see his face somehow. #like now that i'm really looking at it i don't think you can tell right away that he's muddy. dang it.

[giantkillerjack]

Dear horror youtubers who write video essays explaining and examining extraordinary works of horror that I deeply want to see and understand but will literally never be able to safely watch due to my own trauma - thus providing me with a way to learn from and connect to works of art that would be otherwise forever inaccessible to me,

I love you.

#original #horror #final girl studios #if this youtuber is on tumblr someone should tag her #LOVE the idea of a girl coming of age and becoming monstrous but now obsessed with how they described this movie as #'a girl coming of age and finding that the people AROUND her have become monsters to her' #fucking. brilliant! thank you for giving me a way to learn from and enjoy this movie! i am more sure than ever that i should not watch it! #but i am so grateful to you for giving me such a gift! how wonderful! #that said - folks please be very cognizant of the warnings at the beginning of the video. there were still parts I had to look away from #also it was cathartic experiencing this movie from this POV bc 'the horror of girlhood being validated' is healing tbh #it was HORRIFYING being a little girl who became a teenage girl! and no one seemed to care what girl-children went through! #I mean folks were dismissive of kids in general but teen girls and little girls are like. a Joke to a lot of people. #everything we liked was ridiculed. and our fears held similarly little weight to adults. and yet. The Horror of Girlhood is so Real. #I Can Only Imagine how much more girls of color were dismissed and targeted and dehumanized. #and then you've got the little Trans girls and teens - who were playing The Horror of Girlhood on like. Nightmare Hard Mode. #the specific horror of girlhood for me as a transmasc AFAB person meant that the existential horror of being seen as a girl #meshed with my gender dysphoria in a way I did not have the language for and would not for many years to come #like the internalized misogyny and the gender dysphoria were literally impossible to parse apart. i couldn't tell which was which. #i just knew i HATED being a girl and i wanted it to STOP. and it was mostly because of how people treated girls. #like it probably took me longer to figure out my gender because of that.

[sweaterkittensahoy]

I have found the christmas gift I believe will lead to the least negative comments from my mother.

I only care because I will be presenting them live and in person. I still don't have any proof that last year's gifts arrived because no one ever said.

But god forbid I don't text five seconds after my birthday card arrives.

#i'm looking forward to my mil moving very far away from my parents #one longer flight is way better than always having to plan to see my folks #because god fucking forbid my mother travel to me at any point she can get away from it #the list of excuses she has for not visiting since 2012 gets hilarious the longer it goes on #oh but i can't leave grandma #funny you did that for two weeks and grandma did fine #i haven't actually said that part #but i'm prepared to when i point out in person that we are once again travelling to them

[loumauve]

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#sometimes I wish there was like a guide or sth to dealing with intimacy when you're ace #not just in relationships but also in relationships #bc sometimes I think back to conversations I've had with non-ace folks in the past #and usually they would come down to sth like 'when you know you know' #or 'there's gonna be this look and you'll know it's the right moment' #which all seems fake af and untrue and entirely un-applicable if you've agreed to sth else #like.. if you've agreed to not worry abt that and that you'll pick up the topic if anything ever changes #but how do you know if things have changed. how do you know what you want vs what you're wanting only in the moment #and how do you not make it awkward if you bring it up only to later realise maybe you were just having a weird moment #(like. I go through phases every month and I know it's coming. but I also know it'll go away again eventually) #(and like.. I guess I'm still terrified of setting expectations for things I can later not fulfill) #(and sure that's prob due to fucked up shit that happened in past relationships and this is not the same) #((..the difference a partner you can trust to keep their word on respecting your boundaries can make...)) #anyway. scared shitless of starting sth I can't finish. also unsure if I want to start anything in the first place #and just so tired of not knowing where to even fucking start. gonna blame my migraine weirdness for posting this in the first place #a day in the life of.. #(((how to know if maybe you'd like something now when you haven't in the past but now all parameters are different.. #..and maybe it would be nice but maybe it would still suck and you'd end up hating it and feeling regretful.. #..and maybe you'll never be able to get out of your head enough to just have a moment and go with it and be happy)))