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#you have to understand this is the first time ive ever felt like i was in love with a guy before. like ive been in love with girls but not
st4rstudent · 8 months
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Questioni, whoms art thou? (What does your toon look like?)
👀
Orb Giblets (Imagine I'm looking off to the sky)
If you're talking about ingame, here's what he looks like!
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I usually go with the right one bc I think it looks better, but the yellow hypno glasses were apart of the fit for so long (++ they help bring out the yellow) that sometimes I still wear them for fun
Art wise, here's a quick sketch-that-got-out-of-hand of him
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I have an older post of the first time I drew him so the styles a bit.. outdated but its colored.
I'll write more about him in the tags as to not make this post longer than needed
#orb giblets#clemart#not putting this in the ttcc tag#nevermind it went in the tag anyways im embarassed#anyways the first time i drew him i didnt really draw his snout bc i didnt understand how to.#the theme with him is graduation bc of the hat so the gown he's wearing is supposed to be a sort of graduation gown. this was mainly just t#match with the hat but also bc i started to pick back up ttcc a lot more when i was closer to graduating hs#he has a little mouse tail as a reminiscence of his old self (used to be a mouse) and also bc i like drawing long tails but have found out#loathe linearting them#ongoing bit that after he graduated he runs a berry review channel on yt but theyre all rotten. all the berries in his basket are rotten an#smell really bad and also he loves to burrow and dig so the gown is torn and dirty at the bottoms and hes not helpful at all to the#resistance. no one invited him . he sees a cog and starts burrowing#also his fingers are claws but i decided to be merciful and give him cartoon physics so he can move them now#also clem funfact the star on the top part of the gown is not a button its just a design with the shirt bc ever since i was young#ive had this weird discomfort of (the texture of) buttons which is also why if you've noticed. i dont draw suits or anything with buttons#felt the need to share just for clarity . scratches my head you probably didnt need to know that#anyways i hope this answered your question ! smile#i might color that drawing in later i kindof like it#clemask
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#delete later#i keep having panic attacks and need to think of something else so here's my essay on mr magoriums wonder emporium#vs my brain#the first thing you gotta understand is that im autistic and have always felt like im not supposed to be here.#i used to talk to the moon all the time and always felt like i belonged up there with her more than i ever did in the world#the second thing you gotta understand is that i didnt hage friends for a large part of my childhood and instead found solace in reading#and making things that made me happy and felt right abd good#fhe third thing you gotta understand is ive got mad daddy issues#and the fourth is that although i thought myself very smart as a kid i was also constantly certain that i was an idiot who was#trickong everyone and that i wouldn't go anywhere#so in comes this film. one main character is a young boy who cant make any friends. who has specific interests and who makes things#one main character is a woman who was a prodigy until she ran out of hope and energy#one main character is a man who is completely seperated from what makes him happy and the wirld around him#and the last main character is a kind old man who supports them all whilst always knowimg and being at peace qith the fact#that he was different abd wasn't meant to stay#i still dont know which character i identified more with as a child. i think its probably all of them at obe point or another#but the major one was mr magorium himself. bc he made his world so it fit him. and was not ashamed of any of it.#he was completely at peace with the fact that he was different that very few pelple understood him that he was noticeably weird#and he was loved for it.#and then he died. abd not to be a downer but my childhood was filled with obsessions about how i was going to die#how much it would hurt how much blood there'd be. i think this was the first film i saw where it was so simple. it was just his time#obviously the way i thought about death was never healthy bc after those obsessions came the suicidal ideation#but this film presented it in such a neutral matter of fact way. its just a fact of life. it doesnt matter hoe prepared you are#its always hard it always hurts but it must happen anyway. after my grandma died i didnt have yhe ability at the time to process it#but this film helped. abd now when i try to make ky thoughts about death more neutral and not fear or hope based#i think about this movie. and i think about all the joy it presented in living abd accepting yourself in all your oddness#and it makes me feel a little bit sad that a place like that doesnt exist. but it also majes me a little bit happy and a little bit hopeful
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semercury · 1 year
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Every time I have an awkward interaction I want to die.
#stuff sarah says#and every time we kiss i swear i could fly#jokes aside i really hate it#like can i not be in agony every time something is a little awkward?#all it was was me saying it was time for me to leave and waiting for an affirmative so i knew it was okay#like its not the end of the world but i feel like i can see it from here#anyway when i was like 13 i started hanging out with the friend group i was with through high school#bc one of the girls (the leader in the way friend groups often have them?) asked me to a sleepover bc she felt sorry for me#and she later like literally told me that#and idk ive been thinking about that a lot lately bc of the music ive been listening to bc im listening to it for the first time#but they all really liked the band back then and were pretty adamant that i wouldnt and idk it made me feel like i didn't belong#which like i guess i didnt in a way? and i never really belonged anywhere#but anyway like. can you really blame me for being afraid of social interaction and always thinking people will hate me#when most of my formative years were spent with people who either wanted to take advantage of me and thats why they liked me#or with people who felt sorry for me. i remember another friend group. this one more in elementary school. likr late. 6th grade.#saying i was like a lost puppy and that comparison still hurts so bad to this day#so just like i dont get what people would ever like about me so i have to act perfect to make up for it bc apparently im pretty undesirable#and this isnt me asking for compliments in fact please dont bc ill feel bad about it#i just like. please understand i am still unlearning a lot of this and some days are easier#and rn im emotional and want to cry or scratch my face off bc i felt awkward at work and i just have to live like this#sorry im weird in friendships. i mostly assume people dont actually want me around#bc the alternative is that they want to hurt me and at least tolerating me out of pity is neutral?#fuck idk
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hecksupremechips · 2 months
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Posts about bpd need to stop being so damn relatable to me 🤨
#listen im not saying i must have bpd cuz of a bunch of relatable tumblr posts dont clutch your pearls on me#but hm im starting to get suspicious ajsjk#just been spending these past few months really digging into my deeply repressed memories and emotions and i keep discovering more and more#fucked up shit lol like first its being forced to acknowledge that i have a bit more than some ‘minor trauma’#and that ive actually just been like horribly abused like. my entire life and still am 😟#then it was like really trying to think about myself and what ive done to cope with abuse and like ive constructed an entire person#to just live as whenever im in the abusive situations and when i was removed from the situation for the first time ever#i had like a huge crash a huge crisis i both functioned way better than everyone said i would like suspiciously better#but also way worse at the same time#i could handle all the responsibilities of living alone i never once felt scared or homesick i was clean i was efficient i used money wisely#but i also felt like i was dying and i couldnt function when my persona dropped#cuz i didnt need to be that person anymore i could finally be me but then like. who even is me ive never gotten to find out#i dont know basic ways to behave i still have no clue how to exist or what i truly want vs what i pretended to want#its all completely muddled and its hard to explain that i cant tell whats genuine with me and whats fake#cuz ive been forced to live the fake shit my entire life you know? ive had to and i had to accept it#ive never gotten to make any of my own actual decisions and at the same time i have to decide everything for everyone else#im the parent of my parents but never was the child and the child is still there asking for attention but no one is there#then you know i had to return to the abuse and so its like i did get to taste freedom but not for long and i spent all my time in that#crisis mode so it wasnt exactly a fun filled time but being back here is much worse than before cuz now i know whats happening#and how i have to perform and its like how do i discover anything about myself in this kinda environment and no one understands the turmoil#the reason why something simple like wearing different shoes is so impossible for me#its just a horrible environment to be in i am in hell constantly ive no clue whats happening and im very obsessive over everything#aaaaghhhhhhh help girl help lol
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brightbluekicks · 3 months
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i hope i'm not giving any of my dear mutuals the wrong impression because i complain about this guy a lot. its all superficial stuff almost always. we're okay. him & i we're good. i love him a bit. i think he could love me. maybe differently. but that's alright
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d1ner · 1 month
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fwb: nanami kento (18+)
nanami kento doesn't know how to be just "friend's with benefits".
tags: (fem aligned user) (uses y/n) (jealousy) (not proofread also sorry this is my first real smut ive posted on tumblr) (uses the L word (gasp!))
(art for header found on pinterest)
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fwb!nanami didn't know how to approach you, his friend and colleague, about being friend's with benefits. he wasn' the kind of man to just have sex with someone. he didn't fuck- he made love. it wasn't until gojo dug his nose in, asking you if you'd ever want a fwb within earshot of nanami- you saying you wouldn't be opposed- that made him even think to ask.
fwb!nanami who brought a bouquet of roses to your apartment the first time he came over to "netflix and chill," stumbling over his words and acting like an utter fool in front of you. it was cute, and you eased him into the situation as naturally and slowly as your body would allow. his arm was awkwardly placed on your shoulder as you nuzzled up against him on the couch, and he seemed all too focused on the movie that was playing.
"kento, do you just wanna watch the movie and try again another day?" your soft voice cooed, and it made him fall apart, the sweat on the back of his neck rolling down his back. oh god, you were so pretty. he knew he wasn't doing anything right, and yet you still looked up at him so affectionately. this isn't what friends with benefits act like, was it?
"n-no, i'm just.. i've never done anything like this before." he swallowed whatever moisture had stayed in his dry mouth, forcing himself to meet your eyes, only to meet an understanding gaze that tore down all of his walls.
"it's okay, we can go slow."
fwb!nanami who's so gentle with you during your first time together. even though you wanted your brains fucked out, his gentle touch and praise that spilled from his lips as you sunk onto his length was equally satisfying.
"you're so warm n tight, y/n.. i can't, 's too much. you feel so good," nanami groaned, his hands kneading your hips as your lips kissed along his neck, licking soothing stripes along his sensitive skin to ease him through it.
he wasn't a virgin, but still.. this. this was new. fucking someone just to fuck them. to fuck you, his gorgeous friend who had always behaved so normally towards him. would things stay normal between you two? he was already overthinking. how did friends with benefits just stay friends when all he could think about was how pretty your face twisted in pleasure, how soft your skin felt-
"kento," the sound of your sighed moan snapped him into reality, and he whimpered in his low, gentle voice, his head falling back against the couch as you rolled your hips against him. that's right- all he needed to think about right now was how good you felt milking his cock, not how your friendship was gonna turn out tomorrow.
"oh, fuck, y/n."
fwb!nanami who didn't wanna leave you that night when you fell asleep in his arms, your head resting on his chest. carefully, he carried you to bed, tucking you in while stroking his fingers through your hair.
"stay," your sleepy, mumbly voice shot an arrow through his chest just as he was trying to quietly leave your bedroom.
yes, of course he'd stay. you'd taken such good care of him, making sure he was comfortable while taking every last drop of cum he had to offer. he didn't realize how pent up he was until he unloaded into you the first time. but once your lips wrapped around him maybe an hour later, he grew more needy, thrusting his dick down your throat as he gently massaged the nape of your neck.
hesitantly he snuggled into bed with you, your sleeping form molding perfectly against his, your face subconsciously nuzzling into his chest and wrapping your arms around his waist to pull him close. were friends with benefits supposed to be this intmate? should his heart be racing like this?
but as the events of the day weighed heavier on him, he couldn't bear it, trying to find a way to fall asleep. with your steady breaths and warmth as you cuddled him it wasn't hard to get drowsy, but his thoughts consumed him. maybe this was a mistake- him and his bleeding heart.
fwb!nanami who made you breakfast the next morning. and everytime after that. he always brought you an offering like roses or flowers when he'd come over, and treat you like a queen each morning, kissing along your body to wake you up, tasting you before you'd get a taste of his cooking.
it was cathartic for him. no strings attached, just pleasure. it took him a while to understand the point in it, perhaps less stress?
though his heart still raced everytime you sat with him at work or hung out with him- not calling it a date.
"ken, you shouldn't have. we're just grabbing coffee," you whined with your face flushed red. again, this princely man bought your coffee for you and pulled out your chair as you sat at the cafe.
"i wanted to," he would say everytime, shaking his head. and he said the same when he insisted on walking you home from work, fucking you when you got home from work, massaging your muscles from the stress of work, oh lord this man was head over heels-
fwb!nanami who didn't realize he had fallen in love with you until someone at the grocery store asked for your number.
how could someone walk up to you, standing so pretty next to the shopping cart both you and him were putting groceries in, and ask if you were single? as if nanami wasn't standing right there, pushing your shopping cart, guiding you out of the traffic of other shoppers with his hand on the small of your back?
"oh, thank you, but i'm not interested in dating right now." was your response, making nanami's neck tighten. what does that mean? what were you two doing there?
you weren't dating, no. the point is that you were friends with benefits. no strings attached. just fucking, just pleasing each other. this grocery trip was as friends, the breakfasts together were as friends, the sex was as friends-
"ken," again, your voice was like the smooth, untouchable hand pulling him out of a bush full of thorns and pulling him into your softness. "did we get garlic already?"
"mhm," was the only sound to escape his throat. to hell if you were dating or not- he needed you, perhaps even more than you needed him. or at least more than you realized you needed him.
fwb!nanami who pounded you hard into the mattress that night. he was a gentle lover for the most part, always checking in on you, whispering your praises, moaning into your ear as he finished in you.
not tonight. he needed to let out that pent out rage, towards the person who asked you out of course- not you.
"who's this pretty pussy belong to, hmm?" he chuckled as he gripped your hair tighter, pressing your face down into your pillow harder. His free hand was holding your hips with a bruising grip, keeping your ass up as he fucked you into another orgasm.
"k-ken, aagh," you mewled, your hands balling into fists as you held the sheets tighter. "'m yours kento, f-fuck.."
he smiled- it was dizzying, your voice being so broken and yet so his. "that's it beautiful. all mine."
by the time he was satisfied he was dripping sweat, his chest against your back as his breath came out in ragged pants.
of course, ever the gentleman, he slowly slid his cock out from you, watching with possessiveness and satisfaction as his cum dribbled down your folds, and then your bruised thighs. a part of him felt bad for being so rough, but then watching your legs tremble and your pussy pulse around nothing made him feel much less guilty.
"lemme take care of you, pretty," he murmured, helping you stand before carrying you to the bathroom. he was so sweet, sitting down on the bench in the shower, having you on his lap facing him as he washed the sweat and mess off your body with his large yet gentle hands.
you were drowsy from the mix of getting fucked stupid and the heat of the shower, and nanami's soapy hands kneading at your flesh was only making you feel more at ease. you nuzzled your face into the crook of his neck, arms weakly wrapping around him.
"love you, ken," you murmured into his neck, eyes fluttering to try and stay open.
nanami froze, feeling an intense rush of heat rise to his face from ear to ear. he was sure that he would be the one to say it first. with how he worshipped you, he was positive that the words would leave his tongue first.
but alas there you were, softly kissing his collarbone as you fought to stay awake. his heart swelled, more than his cock as it twitched. god, he could fuck you again just for saying that. but more than that he wanted so desperately to kiss you.
"i love you too, y/n," he hummed, tilting your head up to meet your content smile, pressing his lips to yours, lovingly, as if he had never kissed you before.
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depthnessingsweet · 1 year
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lesbaurinkos · 10 months
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its literally so sad that so many people in this world dont understand that riverdale is the show of all time ever. because cheryl blossom is the Most character of all fucking time and everyone in the entire universe should know about her and cherish her. shes clinically insane. she experiences female hysteria like no other. she is the most seen ive ever felt by a lesbian in television because she is just off her fucking rocker at all times and thats the best representation i could ask for. she constantly talks like shes possessed by a victorian ghost. she once WAS possessed by a victorian ghost (her ancestor, also a lesbian, because lesbianism is genetic like being a serial killer is). she was also haunted by the ghost of a triplet she thought she absorbed but didnt actually absorb in the womb possessing a porcelain doll and then when they went to the 50s that porcelain doll became a real boy. her having lesbian sex saved the world. she faked stigmata for clout while canonizing herself as the first living saint in order to take over the musical theater cult her mother had started around her dead twin brother as a christ figure and maple syrup as the blood of christ, but cheryl succeeded in taking over the cult because she and gay kevin wanted to sing songs. she’s also committed to ruining gay kevin’s life just for funsies most of the time. she lives in a creepy gothic mansion and goes about wearing flowing dressing gowns and carrying candelabras despite fully living in the 2020s (except for right now bc everyone got zapped to the 1950s) because her life is a gothic horror. she kept the taxidermed corpse of her dead twin in the basement for a while just for funsies because she is balls to the walls insane. when her uncle found said corpse he attacked her and her girlfriend accidentally killed him so the two of them plus her creepy haunted grandma decided to gaslight the man’s wife and child into thinking they had cannibalized him over thanksgiving dinner (it was awesome). also shes really good with a bow and arrow for funsies. shes one of the few characters on tv that actually says “im a lesbian” out loud. she has magical witch powers and can blow people up with her mind, literally, actually. once she got so fucking mad at a the leader of a different cult she had gotten roped into because he said that she couldn’t run for prom queen that she managed to deprogram herself basically overnight. for a while she was building her own version of the winchester mystery house due to being plagued by hysteria. shes an incredibly skilled artist who did forgery for a while. she can control bees with her mind. She’s The Queen Of The Bees. she had a collection of small witch girls in the splinter universe rivervale that were all dressed like rei from evangelion for no clear reason and went about performing ritualistic sacrifices in the woods. she’ll say shit like “my dear antoinette thou hast beguiled me” and “im cuckoo bananas for you, obvi” and “do you think these loubotins are too flashy for kombucha brewing?” with the same level of utter conviction. she is so, so haunted. she has suffered more than jesus. she is a girlboss she is a lunatic she is a war criminal and she is never going to die.
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writersdrug · 13 days
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COD men period comfort? 🥺
The way my period started right as I finished this... also, I have Endometriosis, so I wrote this with the idea that periods are very heavy and painful for the reader, sometimes making them bedridden. Shit's rough 🙃
CoD Headcannons: Comforting You While You're on Your Period
Fluff, slight nsfw, mentions of cramps and blood, mentions of fingerings, no "period? What's that?" behavior, these men are all educated, mentions of food anxiety, female anatomy
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Captain John Price
If this was a competition, Price would be the winner. He doesn't need to look at your tracker app to know it's around the corner, he recognizes the signs immediately. As soon as you begin to dissociate for more than a minute or two, accompanied by your grumbles of how you've been craving junk food lately, he knows it's coming.
He's very intuitive when it comes to your needs. He knows you'll want to call out of work the first few days, so he does it for you. That way, you won't be stressing over it the night before. He plugs in your heating pad (leaving the setting on off, for now), so it's ready when you need it. He fills your water bottle with cold water, he fills the nightstand drawer with iron and protein laden snacks, and he puts a fresh box of your preferred pain medication in there as well. The bathroom is stocked with pads/tampons, and he even makes sure that the remote to the telly is on the nightstand.
He forces you to stretch every morning. It's the one time he ignores your protests and drags you out of bed, insisting you would feel much better - and he was right every time. He'd have you sit with your feet pointed forwards, bending your back until you could touch your toes.
"Gonna join me, John?"
"Psh, you know I'd snap like a twig, love."
Then he'd have you on your hands and knees, kneeling beside you and slowly guiding you to stretch your arms and arch your back, keeping your bum in the air (let's be honest, he doesn't kneel behind you for this because he'd be keeping you in that position for a different reason). He'd have a hand on your lower back, whispering small praises as you groaned from the relief. Once you were in that position, convincing you to get up was another hassle.
He understands that you can have mood swings - he always reminds you that communication is best, and even if you aren't sure what you want, you should still talk to him. Let him know if you're feeling too overstimulated, if his presence is a bit too overbearing in that moment, or if you want him there - whether that's sitting in a chair next to the bath while you take a soak, his hand running over your hair, or if he's cradling you in bed, hands gently massaging your abdomen/lower back.
You feel a bit silly, sometimes - being treated like a porcelain doll. As you promised him you would, you communicate with John that you feel bad that he's pampering you so much, and that you can't exactly return the favour at the moment. He'd listen, never shushing you or interrupting you, and at the end of your venting, he'd assure you that not only is this his obligation as your partner, but it's also something he enjoys doing - looking after you when you need it most.
As for making it up? "We'll explore what options there are when you're feeling up t' it" (He's talking about ovulation week).
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Kyle "Gaz" Garrick
You tell Gaz when your period is coming. He's not as intuitive as Price, but he appreciates that you let him know, and he helps you plan for the next few days. You go shopping together, stocking up on snacks, meds, and Liquid IV (Gaz had originally introduced you to it, and now it's an essential when you're on your period).
He once bought you a period massager that you found online. You thought it was the best invention ever, with both a massage and a heat setting, but it never could compare to Gaz's hands. You eventually ended up putting it on a shelf in the closet after telling him through tears, all while he massaged your stomach, that it felt like you were replacing him, and you hated it. You wanted to throw the damn thing away, but he convinced you that you might change your mind later.
Gaz treats this time of the month like it's the most normal thing in the world. Of course, he pampers you, giving you cuddles when you want them and helping you through the emotional shipwreck in your mind, but he knows you don't like feeling like you're helpless. So he does it all in the most nonchalant way possible. He'll play video games with you as the both of you lounge in bed; whenever you want a snack, he grabs one for himself (partially because you mentioned once that you don't like eating by yourself, partially because he's always hungry).
He refers to your period in different ways each time it comes around. "Is it shark week?" "I got you some more tampons, babe, for the ritual." Or, his favorite, when he sees you scowling at your period tracker app: "Ya got mad cow disease again, luv?"
He'll watch true crime with you per your request, but he's not thrilled about it. You've had to correct him multiple times that it's not about the killing, it's about the mystery of solving each murder that intrigues you. More often than not, you'll look up from where you're laying on his chest, and he'll be watching the telly with a grimace.
"What's wrong, Kyle?"
"It was the landlord - guy looks fishy, and his alibi is shit."
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Johnny "Soap" Mactavish
Johnny understands what a period is - he's a smart man. However, when it comes to your cravings and raging emotions, he's like a devil on your shoulder. If you thought you were impulsive during this time of the month, he only adds fuel to the fire.
He comes back after a trip to the grocery store, announcing that he purchased everything you need for the next few days. The "everything" in question? Crisps, wine, and candy (your favorite candy, sure, but not much chocolate). You don't have the heart to tell him that, while you enjoy all the snacks and alcohol he bought, it's not necessarily the best food for your period - although, the part of your brain that was craving it was thanking him over and over.
You would be lying on top of him on the sofa, the telly playing a show that had been neglected by the both of you. He'd be rubbing your lower back with one hand and massaging your scalp with the other, listening to you as you tearfully explained how much you missed your childhood family dog, a husky named Janet.
"- and she was so cuddly and protective- *sniff*- and she- did I tell you, she used to howl when I cried, like- like she was crying with me? God, I miss her-"
"Sweetheart, why don' we just get ye a pup, eh? A husky, just like Janet, and ye can both howl together whenever ye feel like it."
"No- *sniff*- no, Johnny, we shouldn't-"
"Why not? It'll keep ye company when ah'm away. Ah've always wanted a pup myself, y'know."
It really didn't take much more convincing than that. The next day, Johnny was walking into the flat, holding a husky pup cradled in one arm, and a bag of dog toys and food in the other. You had already forgotten his suggestion to get the dog, and would have scolded him for being so impulsive, but the cuteness aggression had already set in. You squealed and ran over to Johnny, crying happy tears between peppering his face with kisses and cooing at the puppy. He had the proudest smile on his face, seeing how much happier you looked compared to the day before.
Oh, and if you tell this man your breasts are sore? He's running across the room, fast enough to break the sound barrier, to offer you a helping hand (or two).
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Simon "Ghost" Riley
Simon has to remind himself that, when you're on your period, you don't always think logically. He's extremely patient with you, but he isn't the best with words. Or, rather, he isn't well-versed in the backwards rationality that comes with your period.
"Simon, can we get Chinese?"
"Sure, luvie, if you want it."
"Will you eat some?"
"Honestly, 'm not really hungry. But we can get what you want."
"... no, I'm ok. Nevermind."
"Wha'? Why not?"
"I don't need it."
Simon still doesn't understand why you won't eat without him, but he knows not to question it. He does, however, order your favorite takeout anyways, and he'll feed it to you if you still insist that you don't want it. He may steal a bite or two if you let him.
Like every good partner, he understands what a period is, and he understands the pain and frustration it causes you. He's still never entirely sure of how to help you, and he often doubts that he's being helpful at all. But that's where his military experience came in clutch: you tell him what to do, and he does it. You want to cuddle? "Scoot over f' me, luv." You want time alone? No worries, he can do some of his own work, just shout if you need him. You're running low on tampons and medication? He'll drop whatever he's doing and run to the corner store for it.
Massage KING, and he doesn't even know it. He huffs and says you're just trying to flatter him when you tell him how good at it he is. He treats you like you're in a spa, too: he dims the lights, he makes you wear an eye mask, he'll turn on the fan because he knows you love the white noise... he'll kneel behind you as you lay on your stomach, and this man will deliver the most tender, slow, and soothing massage of your life. His hands are already so huge and warm, and he somehow flawlessly works you into a drooling puddle each time.
He can't lie: seeing you there, passed out and snoring, no longer complaining about your aches and pains, fills him with just as much pride as it does relief. He's happy you're feeling well enough to rest, and that he's the one to get you there. He'll slowly get up, covering your lower back with the heating blanket, before leaving to replenish your thermos with tea.
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König
Whenever you mention that your period is coming soon, he always panics a little. König is a strong soldier, not bothered or phased by much. But when it comes to you, he hates knowing that you're in pain, and that he can't do anything to fix it (despite how often you assure him that he's helping).
This man goes all out. He fills the fridge with healthy, colorful fruits and vegetables, meat, and a pitcher of your favorite drink. He has your heating pad ready to go by your bedside, along with two thermoses, one of hot tea and one of ice-cold water. He sets up a small tray in the bathroom with tampons, pads, fresh underwear, and even a few pairs of shorts. He has a fan in the corner of the room, pointed at the bed and ready to go if you need it. He even takes off work for a few days - he refuses to leave your side when you're in pain.
Like Ghost, he likes being told what to do. If you ask him to turn on the fan, to turn off the lights, or to refill your thermos, he's up and doing it before you can finish your sentence. He hangs on your every word like it might be your last (you'd think with how he acts while you're on your period, you might be dying). He snuggles you every second you're in bed, and despite it being a bit warm, you don't mind the constant affection.
He cooks for you no less than twice daily, and this man can COOK. In no way, shape, or form does König skimp on seasonings and portion sizes when it comes to you. He carries you to the kitchen and sits you on the counter so he can keep an eye on you while he prepares you a hearty, nutritious meal (he needs to make sure you're eating well, schatz, but he'll let you scrounge for lunch, if that's what you really want). Sits with you at the dining table and holds your hand while the both of you eat, listening to you talk. If neither of you have anything to say, or if you're dissociating, he'll just sit and enjoy the silence with you, occasionally brushing your hair from your face and leaning over to kiss your cheek.
Sometimes, he'll do some of his work in bed with you, if he absolutely can't put it off any longer. You were once snuggled up to him, half asleep in the crook of his arm as he typed away on his laptop. He would occasionally rub his large hand over your lower stomach if he heard you groaning in pain from your cramps.
"Schnuki?"
"Mm?"
"Do you want me to finger you?"
That just about made you bolt upright like a rocket. "What?!"
He pointed to his screen. "Everyone says it makes you feel better, no?"
"König, um..." You didn't hate the idea, but didn't he? "I thought you were working?"
"C'mon, liebe-" he closed his computer and put it on the nightstand, rolling on top of you. "Relax for me, I'll make you feel good..."
Please just let this man take care of you and tell him he's doing a good job, it's all he wants.
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earlgreydream · 20 days
Text
gods, I’m so sorry. this has been in my drafts since APRIL 2023…. I’m finally getting to it, thanks so much for this sweet request ♥️
requested: bucky needing to have a hand on you (stroking ur hair, hand on ur knee, etc) at all times after he nearly loses u 🥺 to reassure u that ure safe and he's there but mostly to reassure himself
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The silence was deafening, and it was so dark. Had it always been this way? James couldn’t remember. The Brooklyn apartment didn’t feel like a home anymore. It was empty without you, your absence ripping the essence of life from his home.
He sighed, not bothering to turn on the light. James didn’t have any intention to stay, the emptiness held an eerie feeling that he just couldn’t shake. He almost forgot what he’d gone home for — to get a change of clothes before heading back to the Tower, to wait for you.
James felt like he should have been out looking. You’d been missing for weeks — disappearing on a mission with Sam, to gather intel. There wasn’t supposed to be any real danger, he would never have let you go if he was worried about a threat to your safety.
“We need to go back, they found her,” Steve’s voice cut through the silence, and Bucky’s heart seized at his words.
“Is she alive?”
.
The first thing your mind registered was pain. There was a dull, heavy throbbing in every part of your body. When you tried to open your eyes, everything was too bright, and a terrible beeping worsened your splitting headache.
You blinked away the fog in your vision, a hospital room slowly coming into focus. James stood up from a chair in the corner and ran to your side, speaking frantically. You couldn’t understand him, it sounded like his voice was underwater, unclear and garbled.
Panic surged through your chest when you looked down to see an IV in your arm, and you registered the tubes on your face that were meant to help you breathe. You clawed at the IV in your arm, nails scratching your skin as you attempted to rip the needle out.
“Stop, please, baby,” James begged, grabbing your wrist to keep you from accidentally hurting yourself.
“James?” You rasped, the fear in your voice breaking his heart.
“I’m here. You’re safe, you’re in the hospital at Stark Tower. Nothing can hurt you anymore,” he promised, the words sounding clearer in your head this time.
Your chest heaved and tears started to leak down your cheeks, whimpering as a nurse emptied a sedative into your system.
James held your hand, so the nurse didn’t cuff your wrists to the bed. Your memory was foggy, but your body remembered what you’d been through — your heart rate monitor beginning to scream as the nurse talked about restraining you.
“Get out. Just get out!” James shouted, one of the few times you’d ever seen him with tears running down his face.
You began to fade as the sedative kicked in, the room quieting once it was just you and James. He listened to your shallow breathing, gently rubbing his thumb across your forearm, needing to touch you as he sat next to the bed. He had to have his hands on you, to remind himself you were there, safe.
“Don’t leave me,” you begged softly, your trembling hand laying over his.
“I won’t leave you, I promise… just get some rest, okay?” He kissed your knuckles, gazing at you with wet blue eyes.
.
“I can stay with her, so you can go home, change, sleep in your own bed?” Steve offered, coming in while you were asleep.
“I'm not leaving,” James murmured, barely looking up at his best friend.
“Has she told you anything about what happened?” Steve took a seat on the other side of your bed, an action that James was grateful for, even if he didn’t say so.
“No. She’s barely coherent, they’ve got her on some pretty intense medication…. Steve, she’s in rough shape. How was she when you found her?”
James was afraid to ask, but had to know. Steve shifted his weight, looking down at the floor before finally looking back at your sleeping form, bruised and battered.
"Bad, James. Hydra had her tied up, suspended from the ceiling."
James rubbed his fingers over the raw, red rings around your wrists from the restraints, stopping as you winced in your sleep.
You opened your eyes, looking over at him, reaching out to trail your fingertips over the scruff on his cheek.
"Steve, thank you," you spoke hoarsely, turning to the blond who stood at the end of the hospital bed.
"Of course. How are you feeling?" he approached and gently took your outstretched hand.
"Everything hurts," you groaned, shaking as you tried to sit up.
"Here," James helped you, supporting your weight as you settled into a seated position.
.
Two weeks later, you'd recovered enough to be discharged.
"I don't want to stay at the tower, I want to go home," you insisted to James, anxious to be back in the shared Brooklyn apartment.
You held his hand as he drove you to the brownstone, flinching at car horns and loud noises. As much as you ached to be home, the trauma still exhausted your nervous system, and kept James on edge.
Your friends had been kind enough to clean your place for you, warm and smelling of the dinner that was in the oven, waiting for you and James. He followed you to the kitchen, smiling softly as you eagerly dug into the first real food you’d got since your return.
Despite have the whole table to yourself, you sat on Bucky’s knee as you ate, his arm around your waist. He was quieter than usual, his face pressed into your shoulder, needing to be as close as possible. He was unable to let you go, afraid you’d slip through his fingers.
.
Later that night, Bucky sat on the edge of the tub, helping rinse your hair. He had all but gotten in the water with you, his sleeves rolled up as he tenderly washed your skin. Candles flickered on the counters, dimly lighting the fragrant room.
“I’m okay,” you whispered to James, your hand going to his jaw as he kissed you. His lips were soft against yours, parting just enough to catch your small gasp. You chased his mouth when he pulled away, only briefly satisfied as he planted another firm kiss to your lips. He stood to get you a towel, wrapping you up as you rose from the water.
“Let’s go to bed,” he urged, unable to hide his anxiety.
“You won’t sleep,” you accused, knowing he’d be up all night, just as he had for days.
“We can put on a movie. I just need to hold you,” his big eyes were framed by dark lashes, eyes that were impossible to say no to.
You slipped into one of his tee shirts before following him, letting yourself snuggle against his side, his arms tightly wrapping around your middle. The rhythm of his heartbeat and soft sounds of the television lulled you to sleep, resting safely in his embrace.
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soapsbaby · 7 months
Text
Friends with Benefits
Kinktober IV
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Summary: How a friends with benefits relationship would go with them. Characters: Simon “Ghost” Riley, Johnny “Soap” Mactavish, Kyle “Gaz” Garrick, John Price, König, Alejandro Vargas, Rudy Vargas, Valeria Garza, all x gn!reader Rating: NSFW (mdni) Word Count: 1200ish
Ghost
In the beginning it was a lot more “benefits” than it was “friends”. He had a lot of issues to let you in any further than just sleeping with you. 
You were an outlet for frustration and he was entirely honest about that and made sure you didn't feel used or led on.
It took a while but eventually you were able to spend the night, he started calling you when he needed company and eventually he even opened up to you a little and you finally got to understand why he acts the way he does.
He’s a very attentive lover and now that he has a closer bond with you, also an incredible friend. He is always there to listen, even if he often doesn’t know what advice to give you.
Often calls you over late at night or right after returning from missions, just needing a way to blow off steam. He tends to be a little rough with you, but only with your consent.
He isn’t interested in any relationship or attachments so he is quite happy with your arrangement. 
Soap
You and Johnny had been friends for super long before you eventually got closer to him. It was just supposed to be a sleepover so you could binge some horror movies together, but at some point his hand had ended up on your thighs, then you had ended up in his lap and the moment you started kissing you both knew it was over. 
Except for having sex not much has changed between the two of you, most of your hookups still happen during movie nights or other friendship hangouts that you would have had before starting to sleep together.
It’s becoming a problem when people start asking questions since neither of you pay any attention to the movies you’re supposed to be watching. “Oh, you watched (...) on the weekend, right?? How was it?” “Uh… Good… I think.” 
You are so casual and comfortable with each other that there was never really a phase of awkwardness between you two, it just felt natural. 
He honestly doesn't care if anyone finds out, is the type to pull you into a supply closet for a quickie.
Price
You are both very happy with the arrangement, even though except for missing full commitment you are basically in a relationship. 
He will always make sure you know you are taken care of and that you know how much he appreciates you, take you out for dinner or cook for you, get you gifts. 
Compared to the others, your relationship is a little more mature and less impulsive, you had been friends for a long while, tried to date but didn’t quite work out. Still, you both had to admit you enjoyed having sex with one another, so you just decided to go back to that part. 
He’ll check in with you often to make sure you are still happy with the situation and it is understood that if either of you ever find a serious relationship you’ll have to stop.
He likes to make sure he has his time with you, whenever you have a "date" he wants to have the whole day off.
Gaz
It was supposed to be just a friends with benefits situation but failed almost immediately. You both tried so hard to keep it casual but it was a lost cause from the first time. 
Gaz used to have hookups quite often when off duty, but now that he has you, he doesn’t really want or need that anymore. He doesn’t want to admit it to himself, let alone you, but he’s kind of obsessed with you.
At this point you are spending so much time at each other’s places that you might as well move in, but both of you are afraid to suggest taking the next step because that is not what we agreed on.
He is so sweet, always taking his time with you, making sure you are the priority and that you feel well taken care of.
So good at giving oral.
König
You’re one of the few people from his past that he is still in contact with and though you don’t get to see him often, it’s a good time whenever you do.
It’s good for him to have someone from his childhood that can give him a reality check and make sure he doesn’t forget where he came from when he needs it.
He isn’t the best at communicating, which your situation requires a lot of, so you run into problems at times. You don’t see each other often, most of the time there is a lot of distance dividing you, plus the time zones, so there is a lot to be navigated.
He likes and appreciates you a lot though, so you make it work somehow.
Most of the time he is super gentle with you and will do whatever it takes to make sure you finish first, however there have been situations where he just needed to use you to get some negative emotions out of his system after a failed mission.
Alejandro 
He always said he wasn’t one for casual sex, that he was made for relationships, but he had to learn that that just isn’t fully true. Once you and him started sleeping together he had to realize how convenient it was to have someone to help him have his needs met without the responsibilities that come with actual relationships.
He’s a great lover, extremely attentive, very loving, and skillful at what he does. He’d never be selfish and only get himself off.
Rudy
You have been friends with benefits for as long as you can remember, so the communication between the two of you is great since you just know each other so well.
It started when you were joking around with him after a bad date how dating around wasn't worth it just to have mediocre sex with people you barey liked and he got competetive about it.
"Bet I could do better." (He in fact could and did do better)
You don’t sleep with each other that often, just once every few months when you both feel like it. Most of the time when you hang out, things stay strictly platonic, that is just the way things work out for you.
Valeria
She doesn’t have many friends that she can actually trust, so she was terrified to push your relationship any further than a friendship. She didn’t want to risk losing you, one of the few people who knew her before the army, before the cartel. 
Still, one thing led to another and she’d never want to go back to before. She knows you might not fully support her work in the cartel, but that you still feel nothing but loyalty for her.
She doesn’t have time for an actual relationship and also wouldn’t want to put someone in danger of getting caught up in the crossfire of cartel dealings, so you being fairly low-commitment for her is ideal.
She can be a bit of a selfish lover, but you adore pleasuring her, so it all works out in the end.
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talaok · 6 months
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hi!! it says in your desc that requests are open but in case thats outdated feel free to ignore!!!!
i know this may be a weird request but can you do something with joel with a reader that has scarring in their pubic area? i have a skin disorder that gives me really bad scars down there and i have Not had great experiences in the past sleeping with people because of it like it is TRAUMATIC atp to show people 😭 mostly hurt/comfort but if it makes sense to throw smut in there feel free i absolutely would not turn it down LMAOOOO
and shout out to people w scarring down there, whether from skin issues, fgm, assault, etc. etc. we up fr 😔✊
Warnings: insecurity, body image issues and smut | oral sex (f receiving)
a/n: its not a weird request at all, ive said this before, i feel incredibly honored whenever you ask me to write such personal stories, so thank you 💖
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His hands were beneath your shirt, his calloused fingers caressing your skin with a gentleness that defied his rough exterior, that he only showed a few.
His mouth was on yours, his tongue twisting with your own, letting you taste him as he tasted you.
Your hands were on his face, holding it, stroaking his beard, trailing to his hair, while one of his legs parted your legs, settling between your thighs.
Your back was on the bed, the soft duvet shuffling beneath your movements, beneath your exited shivers and shudders.
It all was perfect, just perfect... until his fingers traveled lower, until they began seeping underneath your shorts.
"wait"
His eyes opened as he leaned away ever so little
"I'm sorry" he said, retracting his hand "I thought you wanted to..."
"I do" you murmured "I just-"
And there it was, the block.
The barrier, the wall you had built brick by brick over the years.
"what?" he asked, his brows knitting together in concern as he moved to your side, propping his elbow on the mattress "What is it?"
"Well I- I don't know if... you want to"
"what?" he huffed a soft laugh, "of course I want you"
"yeah now" you sighed, avoiding his eyes, 
"y/n" he called your name, urging you to look at him with two of his fingers beneath your chin "What are you talking about?"
"I just-" you bit your lip, your eyes trembling, taking in the look of him before he knew the truth, 
"Whatever it is baby, you can tell me"
And the saddest part was that you wanted to believe him, but a part of you knew, you knew how he was gonna react, you knew how it was really gonna go.
As kind and nice and perfect as he was, you got proven times and times again that there was only one way men would respond.
"I- Well I..." 
god, why was it always so hard?
"I have a skin issue" you spat out, forcing yourself to not think about it too much 
"ok..." he murmured, his eyes scanning your face in the hopes of finding out where you were going with this
"so I have...scars" you breathed "down there"
You swore you felt your heart drop as the words left your mouth, just to speed back up at full force the moment he spoke, after a brief silence.
"oh" he hummed, his eyes still fogged with confusion "and so I can't like... touch you or-"
"no no, you can-" you sighed, frustrated with yourself "but I understand if you don't... want to." you explained "I've been told before that it's not really... pretty so I totally get it if yo-"
"first of all" he shook his head, getting out of his confusional state at your words "Whoever told you that is a brainless asshole" he stated, looking you straight in the eyes "And second of all" he smiled now "darlin', you're the most beautiful, hottest woman I've ever met, I almost died when I met you" he exaggerated making you stifle a laugh
"no I'm serious." he promised, taking your hand in his "And if you think that that's gonna change because of a few scars, well then sweetheart I'm sorry but you're wrong"
And although your heart was swelling with hope, with a joy it hadn't known for a while now, your brain couldn't still be sure of what was happening
"you're saying that now" you whispered "but you haven't seen it yet"
"darlin', I promise on whatever you want, that I'm sure" A soft smile was still pulling at his lips, and his voice was warm, honest, like honey "That nothing in this world could ever change what I know, and what I know is that you're the most gorgeous woman on the planet,"
"but-"
"no, no but" he shook his head, interrupting you "You are, and the fact that you don't think so is unbelievable" his eyes were shining, glimmering with that sentiment you still hadn't confessed to each other, but that he'd been on the verge of expressing far too many times "I want you to say it. Say -I'm the most beautiful woman on the planet-"
"but I'm n-"
"ah-ah-ah" he shushed you "What did I say about the buts"
"But I'm just saying think about Jennifer Aniston or Sandra Bullock-"
"yeah exactly, they're nothing compared to you"
You couldn't help but snort at that "Oh please, you're just lying now"
"I'm most definitely not" he protested, "have you seen yourself in the mirror darlin'?"
"I have" you rolled your eyes jokingly, your lips still turned upwards into a smile
"you sure? 'cause it doesn't feel like it"
"stop" you begged
"No, I won't stop" he frowned "you're beautiful, I need you to know that." his forehead fell to yours "Whoever made you feel any differently was just an insecure stupid asshole who didn't deserve you, ok?"
And it was at this moment, that you realized just how how much you loved him.
It was as you took his words in, the truth in them, the care behind them, that you realized that he might just be the one.
"ok" you murmured, after some time, for the first time in a long time, actually believing it.
"yeah?"
"yes"
"that's my girl" he grinned, not being able to stop himself before he crashed his lips with yours, kissing you as if his life depended on it.
And with just a kiss, you were back at where you'd stopped, your belly tingling and your body desperately looking for his.
"Joel" you whispered, in between kisses "I-I want to"
His eyes opened, looking a bit taken aback "You sure? I didn't want to put any pressure on you sweetheart, I'm completely ok with just kissing if that's what you want-"
"no" you shook your head "No I want you"
The smile that spread on his face at that was enormous.
he kissed you again, just to start a slow trail of kisses down your neck, making you squirm and whimper underneath him.
He waited for your nod of approval before removing your shirt, and after having reserved time to your (as he put it) "perfect tits", he then moved on to your shorts, now waiting for a vocal permission before doing anything.
"You can take them off" you murmured, watching closely as he did, slowly slipping your shorts and then panties down your legs.
"Jesus Christ sweetheart" he breathed "you're fucking perfect"
And you could only blush and smile shily, not realizing what was happening, until his head was between your thighs, beginning a line of pecks from your navel down toward... well towards down there.
"no y-you don't have to do that"
He didn't seem to hear you, his mouth only traveling lower and lower until it was right there where you needed him the most.
"does it hurt if I touch them?"
"n-no" you stuttered
He licked his lips, his eyes not on yours, but on your pretty cunt 
"and if I kiss them?"
"I-I don't know, I don't think s-"
And just like that, he had dived in, fist slowly kissing your skin, paying no mind if it included scars or not, just to start tasting your whole pussy, licking and sucking all he could find like a starved animal.
His grip on your waist was relentless, probably leaving bruises behind, but all you could do was lose yourself in the feeling as you moaned and arched your back from the bed.
he continued his work for a while, prolonging the experience as long as possible, before he decided to bring it home, and started focusing on your clit, sucking and licking your bud desperately.
And in a matter of seconds, you had fallen apart, moaning his name loud enough for his neighbors to hear.
"wow" you breathed, your chest rising and falling way too quickly as made his way back up again "That was... wow" you murmured, ghosting his lips
"I just wanted to prove to you how beautiful you are" he smiled, kissing you softly "All of you"
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barbatusart · 12 days
Text
bit of thinking outloud but for my current tactician run im doing a special wyll origins playthrough im calling the Evil Wyll Run & it’s given me a lot of food for thought about his character (or at least the freedom of psychological movement + exploration afforded to an origin run!)
wyll spoilers abound we’re entering the wyllenium here
wyll always felt a bit underwritten to me - i know that’s partially because there was that big kerfuffle in the 11th hour with changing his whole story and personality on top of having to recast his VA, and frankly hats off to both original VA lanre malaolu & new VA theo solomon for their hard work - both brought tremendous performances, & i sincerely hope mr malaolu was paid well for his work & time even if his voice wasn’t used in the final cut (i would also say warlock as a class itself felt a bit underdeveloped but im 100% OK with chalking that up to me the player not understanding how to play warlock effectively yet lol im more of a fighter barbarian Hit Stuff guy)
but honestly this feeling of being “underwritten” combined with a character with a long history of heroism in his pocket made wyll really interesting to me even in my tav playthrough. for all his accomplishments he still feels like a blank everyman, or like he’s someone who fully believes he’s the main character who doesn’t “need” to do any extra work on himself - and honestly he feels Very much like he could be The Main Character. once his backstory of the son of the duke was revealed too i immediately got the sense of like, rich boy trying to prove his worth beyond his wealth and status by striking out & becoming that hero, or that Prince Charming. basically that perfect happily ever after somebody. and im of the opinion that you don’t get mixed up with a cambion in the first place unless you’re either the kind of naïve “everything will just work out” immature that tends to comes with his status as the son of a noble, or you’re hungering for power. depending on playstyle he’s very easily both of these things
on the naïve front (ie a good wyll playthrough) if anything he feels very believably immature, & from that perspective the events of the game feel as though they’re the prequel to the actual start of wyll's story where he finally finds himself & learns what kind of man he really is. we just dont get to see it alas, but i really enjoyed the thought exercise of somebody still grappling with overcoming his own immaturity. he feels like someone who can still grow and that his tale is just beginning
Evil Wyll (meaning any time mizora shows up he drops everything to enact her instruction & hasnt once tried to find a loophole out of his contract) which ive come to be far more fascinated by is someone clearly vying for power, which is interesting because his noble status would’ve given him all the power he wants had he Played Nice. to me it speaks of someone who wants to be able to take what he wants from life without it being handed to him, which contrasts in a really fascinating way with entering into a warlock pact at all. maybe he thought it was better that it be a decision he made as opposed to nobility given to him by his family ties, maybe there’s still that pollyanna sentiment of “it’ll just work out & ill live happily ever after.” again maybe both. maybe in a sense the fiend, as he calls himself, is a good excuse to shuck off any poor decision he makes or any genuinely heinous thing he does under mizora’s instruction - an identity he uses as power fantasy (and very much in tandem/interchangeable with the blade of frontiers power fantasy) until it means taking ownership for any of his misdeeds, and then a scapegoat.
may be a bit incoherent but im only now hitting act 3 in my origin run & im Really enjoying this difficult characterization ive cooked up for myself lol
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sunnycanvas · 2 months
Note
Hello, I love how you write and the most beautiful narrative way. Could you do one of balwin taking care of his pregnant wife?
"Careful" Baldwin IV warned as he helped me get out of bed. My feet had swollen due to pregnancy. I felt embarassed by my own body. Baldwin IV noticing my discomfort kissed my forehead and said "Don't worry, you are beautiful". I couldn't help but doubt his words. "Does he even understand not only I have physical changes but emotional one as well". Ever since Baldwin IV learnt about my pregnancy he has treated me like piece of glass. He refused me to do any physical labour, even going as far as refusing me to leave bed. We had a huge fight about it. Baldwin IV kept on insisting that it's our first child. He was finally blessed by God to be father and Kingdom too will have heir. There was no way he is risking this opportunity. After lots of fight and request from my part Baldwin IV finally agreed however he insisted that I shift to his room and stay with him all time. In case I wish to leave the bed, I need to inform him so that he could escort me.
Baldwin IV carefully guided me to bathroom. As soon as we step in he closed the door and started striping me. I was staring myself in front of giant mirror. I was ashamed when I looked at my body again. I could see strech marks in my torso. My body had become fuller than before. I was in such a deep thought that I missed looked of adoration from my husband. It wasn't until he started started caressing my stomach that I finally noticed. Once I noticed and started staring back at him he smiled and kissed both of my cheeks. "You have made me happiest man alive" "Mon amour, never doubt my love for you" . "Come it's time to give you a bath". Baldwin IV ensured that I sat down for bath safely. He soon began filling my bath tub with warm water. Knowing how much I prefer it. I was still sad about everything. Could it be because of pregnancy? I couldn't help but feel anxious about future. Thoughts like "Will I be good mother?". "Will my husband still love me after my breast has become saggy and my hips and stomach covered in strech marks?"
"Mon amour, look at me" my husband called me in his commanding voice. Once I noticed him. Baldwin IV started stripping. I became shy and attempted to look elsewhere
"No, see it all before you look elsewhere" this time he was gentler while speaking to me. Hesitantly I looked back at him. I saw scars and disfigurement of his body. He soon took his pants off and now I couldn't help but lust after his body. Baldwin IV slowly walked where I was standing and said "See this is how I feel when I look at you" Baldwin IV laughed and said "No matter what, at least you will be better than leper". I was hurt knowing how insecure my husband is when it comes to his own body. Even though he is comfortable now he refuses to show his face preferring to hide it behind the veil instead
"Now you know how I feel" he replied and I grew quite. Baldwin IV went inside the bath tub with me and carefully hugged me from behind making me sit on his lap, squishing my boobs with his arms saying "Your pregnancy has made me want to have sex with you more"
" You look so beautiful while pregnant with my child but unfortunately we can't do that". "It hurts to see you looking at your self with disgust and being anxious about yourself". I couldn't help but cry a bit at his response. Baldwin IV wiped my tears and kissed my cheeks and pecked my lips. Once I was okay he took a mug filled with warm water and poured it over my head. I moaned in bliss and Baldwin IV started kissing my neck. He also washed my hair gently massaging my scalp and washed my body thoroughly with soap. Once we were done he helped me get dressed and took me to bed.
"Where are is all the food which I asked to be brought here" he shouted he angry. "Mon amour, please wait for a moment" he left the room angry. Soon bunch of maids came apologetic with food. I could here my husband mumbling angrily. He soon placed the food on the table and said "Now leave us come back after 30 minutes". Once they are gone Baldwin IV attempted to feed me with his hand. "We talked about this" I said in in anger. Baldwin IV replied back "I can't help it" "Fine feed yourself if you want"
"No, actually never mind". Baldwin IV gave me are you serious look before continuing once we were done. He said "The maids will come back again to take care of you in my absence " "Make sure to-"
"Yes, I remember don't go far away and no physical labour" "Now leave"
"Not before my good luck kiss" he leaned and kissed me before leaving for work. Once I was left alone the maids came it with jeweller. "My, lady" he bowed before continuing "His majesty the king has insisted to choose whatever you like and he will pay" I couldn't help but smile at his pampering . I felt immense joy to have such a caring husband and felt ridiculous to doubt his feelings towards me
259 notes · View notes
delfiore · 7 months
Text
—MY DEAREST FRIEND AND ENEMY (5/5)
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pairing: ona batlle x fem!reader
synopsis: barcelona sets its sights on the champions league; things between you and ona unfold in the way they were always going to.
word count: 5.9k
a/n: LAST PART LAST PART WOOOO ALSO THIS GIF IS KILLING ME
PART I, PART II, PART III, PART IV
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Barcelona won its first game back from winter break. It wasn’t the first one this season, but everyone was glad the team managed to hold onto the momentum over break. Though you didn’t score, you felt like you started to understand how to pass, how to move, how to bring the ball forward effectively the Barça way.
Things were finally starting to look up for you at your new club.
In training one day, you were paired up with Aitana for a short passing drill, and she quickly took the opportunity to inquire about you and Ona.
“No.”
“What?”
“I’m not telling you!”
“¿¡Por qué no?!” Aitana exclaimed, earning a few turns of heads from several teammates around. “I was the one to tell you to say something, no?”
You blew raspberry and looked down at the ball rolling between your feet. In truth, you haven’t talked to Ona about that night. Unlike the last time, though, there wasn’t an air of animosity around it. You wanted to kiss her really badly, but you also knew starting something then wasn’t the best idea. You and her both needed to concentrate on getting the team through this slump, and it was more crucial than ever that you did.
“You make it really hard for me, you know that?” You had told her, a quiet confession.
You remembered her smiling. “You don’t make it easy for me either. Every time I see you, I try so hard not to pull you to me and kiss you.”
You chuckled and dropped your head, hiding the warmth creeping up your neck. “Well, try harder.” You brushed her nose with the tip of your finger and stood up. “Our team needs us. We can’t . . . be distracted.”
“Can’t we be selfish just once?” Her tone was light and teasing, but when she leaned back against the bed, there was a darker sincerity in her eyes. Her elbows supported her weight, as her toned legs dangled off the bed. You had almost scoffed at how good she looked, and how much you wanted to pounce on her.
Swiftly, you snatched a pillow and threw it at her, earning an offended gasp from the girl. You watched her face shift, then, when you leaned down and kissed her cheek. Pulling back, you smirked. “Happy?”
Grabbing your pajamas which were draped over a chair, you quickly got out of the room and headed to the shower where, under the running water, you repeatedly told yourself to snap out of it. That night, you still fell asleep in the same bed as her. In the morning, your head was nuzzled in her neck, and your arm wrapped firmly around her waist.
You asked how long she had been staring at you, watching you sleep. Ona couldn’t resist a smirk, telling you she didn’t want to wake you up.
You had hoped she couldn’t feel how fast your heart was beating, but then again your chest was pressed into her side. You felt the overwhelming urge to pull away, alarm bells ringing in your head to sober up from your slumber and pull away. You were controlled by an invisible fear. In all of your nightly interactions with the many people that have warmed your bed, you had never felt so vulnerable than in that moment before, or since.
You could see her freckles so clearly from here. There were plenty, like a constellation of stars, but the only difference was you would lay there and count each and every one of them. Slowly, you brushed the pad of your thumb over them, and she let you, closing her eyes.
“Stardust,” you whispered quietly, feeling her skin under your finger.
Ona’s heart burned like a thousand fires watching you as you admired her, three heavy words weighing down on the tip of her tongue.
They went unsaid when you got up to go brush your teeth, over the table at breakfast, when her mom hugged you both goodbye and even when she dropped you off at your place a few hours later.
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The team was playing away in Valencia on Saturday night. Right after that, on Wednesday, you would be playing the second Champions League quarterfinal leg in London. It was going to be a stressful week, but you needed to get your head in it because this week would determine the rest of the season in the league and in the prestigious European competition.
When Valencia led 1-0 at halftime, the more the clock ran out the more the team was desperate to win, or at least get a point back.
Alexia was holding the ball, as everyone moved over to Valencia’s side of the pitch; the latter was now only concerned with defending their three points. You waited for the defenders around to get distracted and made a run for it. Fridolina received the ball and fed it to you, but the angle was too narrow and the ball bounced off the net.
Chances were coming, and you were getting much closer to an equalizer.
A corner ensued, and you were at the near-post. The ball was sent in straight towards the goalkeeper, but you thought you could manage it. The goalkeeper was beelining for the ball and headed straight towards you with her fists out ready to punch the ball away, but you were faster. 1-1.
The adrenaline rushed to your head as you ran to celebrate with your teammates.
Only when the ball was rolling again did you feel lightheaded, and were on the ground before you knew it. The referee’s whistle rang out, and several of her teammates rushed over to you, as did Ona.
She saw the way your steps slowed as you were walking back to the middle, your head hung low. The way you fell to the ground, Ona could only compare it to a jet running out of fuel and free-falling. It was as if your legs gave out under you.
“Y/N? Joder, Y/N. Fisio!” She knelt beside you, yelling to the sidelines.
Thankfully, you were able to move, turning to your side, and hiding your face in the grass.
“It’s okay, Y/N. They’re coming,” Ona breathed heavily and squeezed your shoulder.
You have had collisions that knocked the air out of you before, but this time you knew it was much more severe than that. You suddenly didn’t quite know where you were, or why all these people were gathering around and peering down at you. All you knew was there was one face that made it all okay, one that you reached for and never wanted to let go.
There were physios coming to check the reflexes in your eyes; you were fine, it was just really, really bright. You were helped to sit up, seeing stars as you did, like cartoon characters when they suffer concussions. You looked over to that beautiful face, the one that appeared in your dreams like a plague, and you were okay. Though you didn’t know what was happening, Ona made you feel brave.
You regained clearheadedness after a few minutes, the symptoms had seemingly subsided. You signaled that you could continue (you really thought you could) but Esmee was already getting ready on the sideline to come in for you.
“Y/N, you did well today,” Ona approached you and wrapped her arm around your shoulder. “You were brilliant. We’ll take care of this.”
She said and gave you a kiss on the side of your head before sending you off with a pat on your back. You smiled gracefully at her and walked towards the bench. The unheard of happened then, as you made out applause ringing out from the Barcelona section of the stands, as people stood out and whistled for you.
You spent the rest of the game in the dressing room, watching the game from a TV. The lights had been dimmed for you to lessen the side effects of the concussion. When the rest of the team returned victorious, you cracked a smile. Your teammates surrounded you to check on your well-being, one in particular was the quickest to sit next to you.
“They clapped for me when I came off,” you said with a smile. “The fans.”
“Yes, they did,” Ona grasped your hand. “Because you deserved it.”
Barcelona came back from a deficit to win 3-2, earning a crucial three points in the title race.
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“Arsenal is a very different team now than when we met them last, girls,” Jonatan stood at the front of the conference room. He played the next clip. “The one thing we’ll have to keep in mind is that they prefer passing and progressive carrying. They’ll have holding midfielders that will transition the formation from defending to attacking, so Williamson, Little, Wälti. Whoever that pivot player ends up being, if we cut her off on the high press, we cut off the supply going forward.”
As Coach was explaining tactics, you quietly turned around toward where Ona was sitting. The moment her gaze landed on you, the corner of her lips lifted. You mirrored her smile, and looked back at the projector, pulling your hoodie up past your lips to hide your cheeks heating up.
After the briefing, you walked towards the dining room to have lunch when your phone buzzed with a notification. You had just received an Instagram DM from an account that you hadn’t looked at in a long time, mainly because there would be nothing to see, as you were blocked.
Hi! I heard you’ll be in town this week for a game. Any chance we could go grab a coffee and chat? Sent 11:04am
“Hey, you coming to lunch?” Ona asked.
“Oh, yeah. I’ll be there in a second,” you said quickly and typed a reply.
On Tuesday, a couple of hours after you landed in London, you made your way towards the little café the address of which you had been sent. Just before entering the coffee shop, you exhaled sharply and wiped your palms on your pants before pulling the door open. Leena was already seated at a table, a cup in front of her.
“Hey,” you hugged her. “It’s good to see you.”
“It’s good to see you too, Y/N,” she wrapped her arms around you and squeezed you tightly. “You look good.”
You let out a snort. “Yeah, Barcelona tends to do that to ya.”
You sat on the opposite side of the table, after going to order a small coffee.
“I heard you got a concussion last game,” Leena asked, concerned.
“Oh, that.” You waved it off. “I’m fine. I’ve seen better days, but it’s all a part of it. How are you doing?”
“I’m doing good,” Leena smiled. “I . . . I had to step away to . . . put things into perspective.”
You nodded slowly and sighed. “Leena, the way I handled things, I’m just so deeply ashamed of it. I’m really sorry and I hope you can forgive me.”
“It’s okay, Y/N. I should have known better than to pursue someone who isn’t ready yet. I tend to do that.”
“Still, I mean . . . That’s not who I am, and I never meant to hurt you or lead you on like that.”
Quickly leaning forward to grasp your hand, she whispered, “It’s okay”. You nodded and smiled gratefully. Leena never made you feel less than whenever you bore your emotions to her, and it was no exception this time.
You started chatting about work, learning that Leena wanted to go back to school for a master’s in cinematography. You told her about your new club, and how much harder it was to live up to expectations than you thought. By the end of your little meeting, you had told her pretty much everything that was going on within the past year.
You said goodbye about an hour later, but not before asking if she wanted to come to the game the following night. “Sure,” she said. “Should be fun.”
Leaving the café with a smile, you called an Uber back to your hotel just in time for dinner with the team, where Ona was already waiting for you in the lobby.
“Hey,” you said, surprised. “What are you doing here?”
“I was waiting for you.” The girl quickly ascended from her seat on the couch. “I texted but you didn’t answer, so I got worried.”
“Oh,” you pulled out your phone to see said unread messages from Ona. “I’m sorry. I was meeting up with a friend, and I usually put my phone on silent for stuff like that.”
“I see,” Ona chewed on her lower lip. “Well, it’s dinner time. Come.”
As you walked, you looked down at your joined hands that she nonchalantly initiated, and blushed. You ignored the knowing look a couple of your teammates sent your way when you walked into the hotel dining room.
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“Hey, good luck out there today,” you found Ona in the dressing room before the game, and decided to offer your support.
“Thanks. Are you cleared to play today?”
“Yeah, later though. Just to be sure,” you explained.
Though you were cleared by the physios to travel to London with the team, Jonatan wanted to be sure that you weren’t overexerting yourself by playing the 90 minutes, but you were assured that you would be subbed on in the second half.
Ona nodded tentatively. “Hey, Y/N. I just wanted to say—“
“Y/N!”
The voice outside the dressing room made you turn around.
“Leena, hi! You made it!”
Then you were gone, walking out and greeting the woman she saw with you in Ibiza. Ona clenched her jaw, listening to your animated conversation in the hallway, not she had no right to infringe upon your other relationships. But she didn’t know where you stood with Leena, nor where she stood with you, and it made her nervous.
She had spent the last few months trying to make you feel her love, hoping that you would answer her and give her your heart.
You were you, though, and maybe she would never be enough to make you commit. She had messed it up before, and while you had forgiven her, you had made no effort to progress past a friendship.
She had been ready to take on Arsenal mere minutes before, now she felt dejected and beyond embarrassed.
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It was an easy win for Barcelona. You managed to score again, a screamer from outside the box, and the fans went wild for your seemingly return to form.
After the game walked towards where Ona was near the stands, greeting fans, and tapped her on the shoulder.
“Nice work today,” you said.
Ona only glanced at you shortly with a small smile before turning back to the fans to sign their shirts.
Your smile faded for a split second, but it returned when Leena approached you. You didn’t realize Ona was sneaking glares at the back of your head, wishing you would just notice how desperate she was to get you alone.
That night, you were back in the hotel room you shared with Patri when you heard a knock at the door.
“Hi,” you couldn’t hide the slight inflection in your voice when you discovered that the person on the other side of the door wasn’t Patri coming back from Claudia’s room where she said she would be, but Ona.
“Hi,” she mumbled, her hands hidden in the pockets of her hoodie. “Can I come in?”
“Yeah,” you said, stepping aside to let her in. You caught a whiff of her shampoo as she walked past you, and the comfortable way in which she dressed suddenly made your heart beat wildly.
“Are you feeling well?” You rubbed your hands together nervously, an impending question already burned into the back of your mind. “You were just quiet after the game, and I wasn’t sure whether you’d hurt yourself.”
Ona pulled on her sleeves, and timidly sat at the edge of your bed, swinging her legs back and forth. “Just wanted to come see you,” she shrugged.
You hated not being able to read her, not knowing what she was thinking. You guessed your relationship has always been like that, hiding how you really felt and continuing this façade you both had decided was the only thing that could work.
You didn’t know, but what you knew was you were tired of pretending.
“What are we to each other?” Her question tore you from your thoughts.
Well, that was certainly one way to do it. You were still standing in the middle of the room, unsure of where to go or sit.
“We’re friends, aren’t we?” You answered. “We support each other, we have each other’s backs.”
“That girl you were with, are you seeing her?” Her quiet voice, in addition to the slight frown she sported made her so endearing. You hadn’t seen her so open, so vulnerable ever since the night you spent with her after Spain lost out on the Euros. But maybe then you might have missed all the signs.
“No,” you shook your head. “We’re friends. She helped me a lot after everything went down between us.”
She nodded, looking away. You still didn’t know what she was thinking, and it was driving you crazy.
“Why? Are you jealous?” You smirked, wanting to lighten the mood, but the despairing look on her face remained.
Feeling bold, you took a seat next to her on the bed. “What is it, Ona?”
She drew a breath, still refusing to look at you and opting to look at your hands instead. “I don’t want to be just friends.”
You let the silence hang because you weren’t sure if those words actually just left her mouth.
They did, because she followed up, “I want to have you to myself. I want you all the time. Every time I see you, it’s like I can’t function until you talk to me. I don’t know where we stand and it’s honestly tearing me apart. I know I sound clingy and pathetic, but I think I’m in love with you.”
You heard her repeat the last part under her breath, as if affirming to herself, as if finally saying it out loud was the hardest thing to do.
Your heart was hammering in its cage. You held her gaze when she looked up, her eyes were dull and sad and lost, despite having just won a Champions League match.
“Do you know how long I’ve waited to hear you say those words?” You cracked a tiny smile. “Almost five years. That day when we played against each other for the first time in Manchester. I singled you out, I pushed your buttons because I wanted to get your attention from the moment we met. I wanted you to notice me because I liked you.”
You knew it was a selfish thing to do, but it was the only way you knew for sure that her eyes were on you. And on you they were.
Ona perked up, grinning softly. “Really?”
“Really.”
Her pinkie was hooked with yours at your side. “I want to try us. I promise I won’t let you down this time,” she said quietly, and instead of looking away, she held your gaze firmly.
“Okay.” There was nothing else.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” you nodded and brought your hand up to glide over her cheek lightly.
Her lips parted slightly. You could see the way her chest rose and fell before she lunged at you, cupping your jaw and pressing her lips against yours.
You let out a quiet groan at the sensation of her bruising kiss. You let her do whatever she wanted, even when she shoved you down on the bed and got on top of you, kissing, touching, and feeling everywhere, you let her, because it had been too long.
At some point, you had managed to flip her over, keeping eye contact as you kissed down along her body. She always liked it when you took your time worshipping her as you did now, holding your gaze and encouraging you to keep going. Once in a while, she would throw her head back and mumble breathless profanities in her native tongue, giving you a good look at her defined jawline.
You might have known her body inside and out from the time you spent with her, but this time it felt different. There was love in every tug, every kiss, every look she gave you. You found yourself in a trance and let your body tangle with hers in ways you were too afraid to have done before; afraid it was too affectionate, too intimate, too personal.
By the time you were done, she was whimpering, her eyes closed shut, and her skin was damp and hot to the touch.
Resting your chin on her stomach, you watched her come down. When she finally opened her eyes, it took one look for the both of you to burst out into laughter.
Your laughs died down, and suddenly you felt shy again. As if having read your mind, Ona pulled you closer and pressed a kiss to your lips.
“When we’re back in Barcelona, I’m taking you out on a date,” she whispered.
A couple of hours later, Patri, upon entering the room, decided to grab her charger and return to Claudia and Ona’s room. She found the both of you sound asleep, tangled up in bed together, and decided to leave you be.
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“But why do I have to do the press conference? Why can’t Caro or Alexia do it?” You groaned. “No one cares what I have to say.”
“Of course they do,” Toni responded. “Y/N, I might be biased, but you are one of the best players of this half of the season in the team, if not the league. You’re Barcelona’s new gem.”
“Well, you’re not wrong,” you muttered.
“People will want to hear from you. Plus, it’s good—“
“—publicity, yeah, I know.” You hunched over and adjusted your position on the couch. “Ughhh . . .” You groaned loudly and dragged your hands down your face. “Fine.”
Toni proceeded to run you over things you should say, things you shouldn’t say, things you should absolutely avoid at all costs. You half-listened to the rest of it because you felt the couch dip beside you, and a sneaky hand creeping up and down your back.
You ended the phone call with another sigh. The hand that calmed you proceeded to inch towards your nape, caressing the skin there.
“I thought you liked doing press.”
“No one likes doing press,” you grumbled.
You looked up from your moping and over your shoulder, and the sight of Ona made you smile. She always managed to make you forget about everything wrong in the world, and crave the warmth of her touch. When she wore one of her snuggly hoodies as she did now, the heat under the fabric made her chest and embrace extra warm.
“You’ll do great, hermosa,” she held you close to her, giggling at the feeling of your face buried deep in her neck. “Besides, what is it you always say? ‘All in a day’s work’?”
You grinned and kissed her cheek. “I hate it when you use my shtick against me.”
“No, you love it,” Ona kissed you quickly, but you held her by the collar of her sweatshirt and savored her lips a little longer.
“I was thinking,” you said slowly. “Since you already know the code for the front door, and you’re always here anyway, why don’t you move in?”
Her eyebrows raised in surprise. For a split second, the silence caused a familiar pang in your heart from all the times she had turned you down. There was a moment when you imagined the worst to happen, that she would run for the hills again and leave you to pick up the pieces by yourself. But it was different this time; the circumstances were different, you both were different.
“No pressure at all. I just—It was just a suggestion—“
“Okay,” she breathed quietly. “But after the season is over.”
You let a wide grin spread across your face. “Okay.”
“Okay,” Ona smiled and tapped your nose lovingly. “Now, come on. I’ll help you practice for your big press conference.”
You groaned and sunk back into the couch, but you knew you would be able to distract her from putting you through this torture if you picked your moments right. There were no more barriers between the two of you, and kisses were expendable.
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“Hello, Y/N. My question to you is, ‘How do you judge your opponent coming into this match, and are you confident that you’ll be walking home with your first Champions League after tomorrow?’” “I think that Chelsea is a formidable team, there’s no doubt in anyone’s mind about that. As for if I think we can win; yes, I think so. I’m confident in my teammates’ abilities, and I know that I’ll be giving 110% into tomorrow’s match. So, yes, we are going into this match to win.” “Obviously, you’re surrounded by World Cup finalists at Barça. What is it like playing with some of the more experienced and decorated players on this team in particular?” “It’s a wonderful environment for me as a young professional in this sport, to have that support system in my own club. I enjoy every second that I get to play alongside and learn from my teammates. No matter who it is, finalist or not, I’ve been able to learn from everyone I play with.” “You’ve had an admittedly rocky start to your spell at Barcelona, but have since improved a lot from what we’ve seen in the return leg of the season. Do you think you have fully integrated yourself into the Barça system?” “As a player, I’m very fortunate to have had the club’s, the coach’s, and my teammates’ trust as I familiarized myself with the system. I will say, I’m much more confident in my role at the club now than I was at the start of the season, and I just hope to continue to do well with the team, and we’ll see how it goes.”
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All 50,000 spectators of the Estadio José Alvade roused into cheers as the whistle blew. Chelsea got the ball rolling in motion, and, already, some of its finest attackers planted themselves deep into Barcelona’s defense, waiting for their moment to reap their rewards.
It was a long back-and-forth for the next 20 minutes, and both teams were not willing to risk it in the opening minutes of the game. But then a wild attempt by Lauren James from outside the box left the ball unattended after Sandra pushed it out. Sam Kerr did what she always did best, and tapped it in. 0-1.
“Shit,” you muttered, seeing Jonatan shouting to Aitana and Patri to change tactics.
You hoped Chelsea couldn’t pick up on the franticness at which Barcelona picked up the ball again. All four players of the backline were on Chelsea’s side of the pitch, Irene, being the deepest, also just barely skirting above the halfway line.
The possession paid off though, as after a long period of tiki-taka, you found an opening for Mariona, who took the shot and sent it past Zećira Mušović into the net. 1-1.
If you could choose, you would always prefer counterattacks over possession plays, in which you could use your speed and dribble to explode; your opponents always feared it when you did. But possession was how Jonatan wanted the team to play then, and Chelsea must have anticipated that. Ève Périsset won the ball back inside the box and lobbed it across the pitch to Guro Reiten, who made the run far before anyone could catch up to her. Mapi was fast, but at her fastest she was still trailing behind her, watching powerlessly as Guro glided past Sandra coming out and passed the ball into an empty net. 1-2.
You could see some of your teammates’ spirits crumbling. Mapi was cursing under her breath as she hid her face under her shirt.
Your eyes landed on Ona walking back to the halfway line, hyping your teammates up. There was a time when she would be doing to her own teammates after you scored against her. You thought it was selfish of you to feel glad that she was doing it for you now.
“Come on, Y/N,” she clapped her hands a few times. “We got this. We’re almost there.”
She was right, you’ve suffered worse deficits, and you wouldn’t be where you were if you didn’t help your team emerge victorious from them.
The dressing room was still as the night at halftime, only the sound of cleats shuffling and the occasional water bottle caps closing were heard.
You sat in your designated spot, taking deep inhales to catch your breath, slapping your teammates’ hands as they walked in. You low-fived Ingrid before she made her way over to where Mapi sat, her head hanging low in her hand.
The team hadn’t been playing well since the beginning of the match. Maybe it was the underestimation of Chelsea’s abilities or their opening goal that caught everyone off-guard. Whatever it was, the team hasn’t recovered.
“Come on, girls,” Jonatan said in the dressing room. “We’re down by one. One. We’ve come back from worse.”
He proceeded to go over tactics again, this time using the wingers as the main force of attack. Since Chelsea would most likely park the bus now that they were in the lead, he wanted to take initiative and penetrate the defense, only the one thing you were very good at.
Ona sat down next to you, huffing a breath and leaning back against the wall. Her eyes fluttered close, and her cheeks were flushed. You thought about running your hand along her face down her neck were you in private, instead, you squeezed her knees and offered her a smile when she opened her eyes again.
“You okay?” How selfish of her to ask if you were okay when if anything, she was the only person holding this team together at this point. Out of everyone during the first 45 minutes, Ona had done her job to the very best of her abilities, and it was a lifeline to the team.
When it was time to return to the pitch, you walked to her with your heart in your hands. “Ona,” you touched her arm, “I love you.”
Your heart hammered as the corner of her lips pulled up, her brows twitching with a sympathetic look. “I love you too,” she leaned into you, “very much.”
You hoped no one noticed how wide you were smiling too, but you also hoped they did. You wanted to shout it out loud for all 50,000 people in the stadium to hear how much love you had for Ona.
“I wish you had told me that earlier, so I can kiss you,” she said.
“Later,” you grinned. “You can kiss me as much as you want.”
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Summer never lasted as long as you wanted it to. Gone were the days of sunny beachside margaritas, and bonfire nights at local bars. Ona had taken you to a secluded spot off the coast of Morocco, and for two weeks straight, it was beach, drinking, the occasional sightseeing, and lots of sex. It was the first time the two of you were able to truly be alone without any distractions after you started seeing each other officially, and you couldn’t be happier that it happened the way it did.
You had been back with the team for a couple of weeks, and as much as you missed your much-needed summer vacation, you missed playing more.
“Behind you! Here, here!”
“Body language, girls! Let’s go!”
You sat on the grass, catching your breath after your first successful practice of the season.
“Getting up any time soon, partner?” You heard Ona call next to you before a water bottle was tossed onto your legs.
You grabbed the bottle and squirted some water onto her legs, but she remained unfazed with that stupid smirk on her face. “Ooh, recreating last night’s activities now, aren’t we? You know it should be more than that.”
You let out a laugh and pulled her down next to you. “Since when do you make the dirty jokes?”
“Since I started spending way too much time with you, apparently.”
“Are you complaining?”
“No,” Ona’s voice lowered as she leaned in, “not in the slightest.”
“Ey, tórtolitos (lovebirds)!” Aitana’s voice rang out. “Coach has an announcement to make. Vamos!”
You sighed. “Remind me why telling the team that we’re dating was a good idea again?”
“For one, it would stop all the pestering,” Ona pecked your lips and stood up before offering a hand. “Come on, tórtola. Time waits for no one, not even for new Champions League winners.”
You didn’t expect things to turn out the way they did when you first saw her across the pitch years ago, but you were glad that they did, and better than you could have ever hoped.
You took Ona’s hand gingerly, swinging it back and forth, getting used to the feeling, because you intended on having it with you forever. If Ona came with it too, that's fine by you, you supposed.
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The Athletic: A Star Is Born — Y/N Y/L/N’s Barcelona Start and Road to First Champions League “Y/N Y/L/N is the kind of player every club would benefit from having,” said former Manchester City captain Vincent Kompany in the summer of 2020, days before news of Y/L/N’s signing was announced. “She is a star in the making.” Y/L/N came up within the ranks of Portland Thorns before getting picked up at Man City, helping the club to its first-ever WUCL participation. But it was at Barcelona that she was able to realize her potential. And then, in the 94th of the Champions League final, she scored and sealed a third European championship for Barcelona. After a tumultuous season which sees Barcelona barely clinch the league title for the sixth year in a row, Y/N Y/L/N emerged a key player at La Blaugrana, a sure-fire Ballon d’Or contender in October, and one of the most prolific forwards within the game—and she’s only 23. […]”
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a/n: WOOP WOOP!! we made it guys, we've reached the end. if you've read everything up until now, i sincerely thank you for coming along on this journey of self-indulgence lol. we'll say goodbye to y/n and ona and let them ride off into the sunset and continue to slay at barcelona. once again, thank you for reading, more woso fics coming soon! for now, delfiore over and out 🫡
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tannieastrology · 3 months
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Synastry/Composite Observations 🌠
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(These are just some of my experiences and I really just wanna share what I learned with yall)💕
Synastry-
💙✨ Saturn square Venus can really just throw off the timing of a relationship. Well its less the timing and more of the fact of that the two people cant ever make their minds up and mature up for one another. And there are for sure alot of barriers that come withing this aspect one of them being that other people can set these two apart. In the couple that i saw this in the guy was Saturn and the woman was Venus. Venus was led on for almost 2 years while Saturn chased a different woman in that time. Until in may 2023 they started talking but their communication was off so Saturn broke it off. Now in december everyone finds out Saturn wants her back but Venus has moved on. So in their case it was a lack of maturity and indecisiveness.
💙✨ Venus conjunct Pluto makes the Venus person SO obsessive ESP if the Venus person has scorpio in their natal chart. Remember the Saturn guy from the first bullet point? He was the guy ive had a crush on for the past 3 years and in my scenario with him, hes the pluto in this case. Sadly it was unrequited but man this guy had me in a chokehold which was weird because I never wouldve thought id be attracted to someone like him. Its like no matter how far I go I cant ever forget about him its so frustrating. My Venus was conjunct his Pluto in Capricorn in my 3rd house so the way we talked to each other was very agressively but strangely we find comfort in it? Talking to him was easy too but lemme tell you when we argued WE ARGUED like it was HEATED. Our friend group always felt so uncomfortable whenever we went back and forth with each other. So yeah i would say really look at what house this conjunction happens in because for me it affected my house of mind, communication, and friends but if it falls in a deeper house like the 8th house the affects would be like 10x more magnified. Alot of people say its a sexual aspect but I really just think it depends on where it lands. I fell hard because im a plutonian person in general i have a Scorpio Moon and Lilith conjunct in the second house and my Venus in the 8th degree.
💙✨ Venus conjunct Moon brings alot of understanding and patience in a friendship/relationship. So ironically the Pluto guy also had his Capricorn Moon conjunct my Venus nd while we did argue alot and made me cry often I always had a soft spot for him. I felt like I understood him and we had many times where we joked around and laughed often. However Venus conjunct Moon can sometimes amplify your emotions to each other if theres other planets in contact with it. In a case like mine BOTH his Pluto and Moon conjuncted my Venus so most of the times our interactions stirred up obesessive and deeper emotions in me. Sometimes he triggered my trauma and i felt judged by him often but as me and him are getting older and are maturing more we stopped attacking each other and started being more honest with how we feel about things. I tell him about my personal struggles and he helps by giving me logical advice. Because of the fact that our aspect was in Capricorn it took us almost 4 years to have proper communication and be able to share our traumas with each other. I trust him alot even though we bicker often and even if he might not like me back hes still such a understanding friend and was there for me when i needed him and that itself is something to appreciate.
💙✨ If one persons Venus doesnt have alot of contact with your planets in your synastry but the other persons Venus has many aspects it may be unrequited. In my instance with the Pluto guy my Venus conjuncted his Moon, Pluto, and Jupiter and trined his Virgo Mars and Saturn while the only aspects his Leo Venus made to my planets was Venus opposition Sun and sextile Vertex. From the guy I really do believe he should have atleast some type of contact with your big six in order for him to feel something.
💙✨ So going back to the Venus and Saturn couple they also had Venus conjunct Lilith in Saggitarius and she was the one who got away. So like i said she was obsessed with him and everybody knew it too. I mean when she found out I also liked him she started hating me even though i never acted on my feelings and tried to supress it. He was the Lilith in this case and you can really see that hes attracted to her but theyre lowkey toxic sometimes. He blew hot and cold to her multiple times and everytime she got a boyfriend he wants her back like what?? She wouldve done anything for him but nah he sold. Theyre never gonna forget about each other and this aspect in my opinion has a very “the one that got away” type feel to it.
💙✨ Even if your planets dont make an aspect you can still feel it sometimes. I have a Gemini Mars and Pluto guy had a Virgo Mars and lemme tell you our arguements were BAD even though they didnt make an aspect. He always knew how to retaliate to whatever i said and always had a slick comment to throw in and my fucked up Gemini Mars self found that interesting which looking back at im hella concerned. I also cant forget that his Mars conjuncted my Saturn and my Mars squared his Saturn so the intensity came from all ends not just the signs.
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Onto Composite!
(Just a Disclaimer all of these observations are made off of me and the Pluto guy)
💙✨ Having a Taurus Sun in composite can mean that both people are stubborn. Im just gonna use my experience to explain this but having Taurus in the position of Sun can be either bad or good. Me and Pluto are young we’re both still in highschool so i know this wont be how we are gonna act forever but our relation to each other was a very slow process. It took YEARS for us to get out of the arguing with each other/ insulting each other phase since the 6th grade but damn sometimes i really feel like he doesnt ever get what im trying to say. We move so SLOW when it comes to our friendship and also communication because our Mercury is Conjunct the Sun in Taurus too. I read on a blog named awda on here that Taurus Sun couples never expect to catch feelings and its so true. To start with I never really liked him when i saw him back in middle school but in 8th grade i caught feelings bad nd since then i havent been able to forget about it. And weirdly alot of people ship us too. Ive read online that this placement means comfort with each other and while yes i have felt it sometimes, i feel that the comfort aspect of Taurus Sun in composite only applies if the chart is filled with trines and sextiles. Our composite is just squares and oppositions everywhere so we feel the stubborness and uncompromising aspect of the Taurus energy more than anything else. Ive done everything I possibly can to try to move on but im honestly stuck with him for a while now. Thats how Taurus Sun feels in my opinion. Its long lasting and not something you can run away from. People will ship you as a couple and yall might be like nooooo i would never but then boom one day you actually catch feelings. And who knows maybe one day he will I mean thats what my our older mutual friend tells me. I have no clue how he ever feels and I know its because of his natal Capricorn Moon but ive always held a soft spot for him deep down. Ive always wanted to look after him and wanted him to put his trust into me but it was never like that i guess. Maybe one day it will progress into something more who knows?
💙✨ Venus square Mars was another aspect that we held in alot of our midpoint charts like the progressed composite, the regular composite, and the davison chart. When i tell you how potent the energy of this aspect was to us even though we had Venus trine Mars in synastry. Ive always asked him why do you like arguing with me? Why do you like bothering me? But hes never really been able to give an answer. And i think thats just how this energy is. You start to find comfort in the disagreements and in a way it kept us stimulated. It was a way for me and him to connect and become friends. Dont get me wrong there were times where we genuinely got on each other nerves but with time we got more mature and learn how to talk things out and respect each others boundries. We still bicker obviously i really feel like thats never gonna go away lmao but its wayyyy more toned down now. Im not even trying to be delusional but i sometimes feel like hes always fixated on me the most in social situations and many people have pointed it out to me. Even if it might not be romantic it can still make the two people infatuated with each other. You know the saying “theres a fine line between love and hate” this is literally that aspect in a nutshell. You just have to figure out how to express your feelings for one another in a healthy way otherwise you can start to find the other person to be annoying and irritating. This aspect had me all over the place man liking someone and hating them at the same time was crazyyy.
💙✨Make sure you check your progressed composite too. Obviously relationships change and i think the progressed version of the chart is more realistic in how things are in the present time. In our regular chart we have Venus in Libra which i was like eh that doesnt really match us that well. But when i saw the progressed chart it showed that we have Venus in Scorpio conjunct Mercury in the 10th degree and it makes muchhhh more sense. The twisted way we talk to each other and the deep conversations feel more fitting to Scorpio than Libra. We recently started to open up to each other more and this progression happened in 2023 compared to in 2019 when we first met Mercury was conjunct the Sun in Taurus. So we went from stubborn arguements to being more comprehensive but snarky nonetheless. Also it explains me not losing feelings too lmao. Im only really speaking from my side ive had no clue how he felt but I know that he was just as clueless as me. In our original composite we had Sun square Mars and Mercury opposition Venus and we were like cats and dogs back then. Now, in 2024 we have Mercury conjunct Venus and Sun sextile moon along with Moon trine Venus and Mercury. The Sun square Mars aspect went away and were on the same wavelength alot more now. Its really interesting to see how it changed you should definitely check it out if you get the chance to.
💙✨Just something that I observed but all the girls he liked they had an aspect of venus trine moon and some type of positive aspect from venus and mars. All of them were weirdly unrequited though and i still dont know how to figure out how people get stuck in the friendzone using composite but i think it depends on the house and peoples natal charts. I dont have their birth time so i couldnt figure the house things out but look to see where the big six fall and what sign the ascendant is in.
I know I dont post on here anymore but I really hope yall enjoyed this!! See yall next time💕
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