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katelynnwrites · 1 year

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Somewhere In The Haze (Got A Sense I’d Been Betrayed) | Ona Batlle

warnings: angst

word count: 2352

summary: your sweet dream with ona is over

chosen song: the great war by taylor swift

a/n: chapter 1/6 of you were bigger than the whole sky (you were more than just a short time)

It was the start of the end really, when you’d proposed to Ona only to have her turn you down and leave shortly after.

It had been a last ditch, desperate attempt to give the love of your life, someone you had once known like the words to a favourite song, the something she’d been searching for. Only it wasn’t what she was searching for and it brought about the loss of well, pretty much everything you had ever known.

Just like that the sweet dream (that you once thought would be your reality) was over.

******

You had just stepped into a cafe when your past makes the most heartstopping of moments, in the form of a rather clumsy woman who bumps into you.

It takes you less than a second to recognise her, all too familiar chocolate brown eyes meeting yours.

Ona was always a heartstopper for you but now when it was least likely that you would see her again? It nearly makes you fall over.

Luckily (or unluckily) for you, Ona is there to catch you.

‘You okay am-?’

It’s only because of your sheer embarrassment that your fellow Spaniard’s slip of tongue goes unnoticed.

‘Y-yeah I’m fine.’ You stammer, twisting out of her hold and stepping back rapidly.

Her hand on your back was bringing back too many memories so you cast a glance back at her and run.

******

Millie is the first person you call, shaky sobs punctuating your words as you tell her who you had run into.

The English woman comes over immediately, enveloping you in a tight hug and letting you cry.

She rocks you back and forth, murmuring soothing words until you exhaust yourself.

There’s no more tears from you, just a question that you voice fragilely, ‘Why is she back?’

******

That question is answered when you wake in the morning and find a text from the one person who used to be your everything (it hurt you endlessly that she still is despite all she had done).

(Ona) 08:17

‘Hola. Can we talk please?’

Sighing, you rub your temple before typing out an answer. This was going to backfire, you just knew it.

(You) 09:23

‘Ok.’

Ellipses appear immediately and you frown, wondering if she had been glued to her phone and waiting for your answer.

(Ona) 09.23

‘Gracias. Will that cafe at 11am today be alright?’

(You) 09.24

‘Sí.’

Once upon a time, you would have replied to her texts with a lot more words and a lot more enthusiasm.

******

It’s in the middle of summer that your fourteen year old self checks your phone to see a message from your girlfriend.

(Ona) 15.07

‘Mi vida do you want to come over? I miss you.’

(You) 15.08

‘Oni we just saw each other this morning.’

‘But yes I miss you too.’

(Ona) 15.08

‘Yes!’

‘Does this mean you’re coming over now?’

(You) 15.09

‘Sí.’

‘Is the other reason you’re so excited for me to go over because you need help with your homework?’

(Ona) 15.09

‘No…’

(You) 15.09

‘You sure?’

(Ona) 15.10

‘Okay yes but it’s science and you know how much I don’t like it.’

‘I’ll bribe you with kisses?’

‘Please mi amor?’

(You) 15.11

‘I knew it. I’m already on my way :)’

(Ona) 15.11

‘Muchas gracias.’

******

Now thirteen years later, you don’t text Ona to let her know you’re on your way.

You simply show up at the Barcelona player’s requested timing and settle yourself at a small table in the corner. It would be a big lie on your part, if you were to say you weren’t nervous.

This cafe is around the corner from your place (the place that you and Ona used to share) and you have been a regular here for years.

It was purely an accident that you’d discovered the little cafe but the unassuming neutral decor, book shelves and square tables set with mismatched mason jars holding two or three wildflowers was an environment that you had felt at ease in immediately.

This was the place you and Ona used to eat brunch at, when you had the rare day off.

It pulls you out of your head, when you see her standing in front of you, an anxious smile on her face as she softly asks, ‘Is this seat taken?’

Ona’s face was once as familiar to you as your own. You had known every freckle, every dimple (had even pressed your lips onto each one of them, once upon a time) that she had called hers.

Now, you didn’t. You haven’t even properly seen her face in almost three years. It was part of your ‘No Ona’ rule.

The ‘No Ona’ rule had been brought into existence one night after you had broken down sobbing when an Instagram post featuring Ona from Barcelona had shown up on your feed.

In summary, the ‘No Ona’ rule meant that you unfollowed her, the Spanish national team and Barcelona on all your social medias to prevent more breakdowns on your part.

It included your teammates not mentioning Ona as long as you were within earshot. It had also resulted in you taking down every post that showed Ona from your social medias (there were a lot. and they now resided in your archive because deleting them was an unbearable idea).

This removal of photos was reflected in your apartment too (those photos were in a box hidden deep in your closet because like the digital photos, you could not bear to get rid of them permanently).

So having not seen Ona properly in years, it’s predictable that you stare speechless at her for a moment, a moment long enough that Ona begins to look unsure of herself.

Shaking your head quickly, you gesture for the fullback to take a seat, still not trusting yourself to form coherent sentences.

‘Thanks.’ Ona says.

It seems that Ona too, can’t look away, her brown eyes fixed on yours as she sits.

She fiddles with the strings of her cream hoodie until she awkwardly breaks the silence with a tiny, ‘Hi.’

If it were in the circumstances of before (there would only ever be one before for you), you would have laughed at her cuteness.

In the after, you respond in like, giving her a quiet, ‘Hola.’

The painful silence resumes and you silently thank the waiter that interrupts to take your coffee orders.

‘I’ll just take a hot chocolate please.’

Ona’s lips quirk up into a smile once the waiter leaves, ‘You still don’t drink coffee.’

You take her cue, smiling slightly as you answer, ‘I don’t.’

‘How are you?’

‘I’m good.’

‘How have you been?’

‘I’m good too.’

Ona’s smile falters and you know exactly what she’s thinking because you’re thinking it too.

Fuck this is painful.

******

Conversations with Ona are your favourite thing.

Sharing kisses with her is a close second and laying with your head in her lap as she plays with your hair is third.

At sixteen and having all three with her in this moment, you think you might just be about to float with happiness.

‘Mi amor did you know that raccoons have feet that can rotate 180°?’

‘No I didn’t, thank you for sharing that with me baby.’

Ona plants a little kiss on your lips and you grin.

No matter what either of you said, it was never awkward between both of you.

******

The former Manchester United player swallows hard. She reaches her hand across the table before remembering and stopping herself.

‘I’m sorry for bumping into you yesterday.’ She tries.

‘It’s fine.’ You answer but an emotion you can’t quite describe flashes across Ona’s face.

‘No. No it’s not.’

‘No?’

Ona shakes her head.

‘I’m sorry. I had this all rehearsed but it’s coming out all wrong.’

She looks close to tears and you reach out to grab her hand.

‘Take your time.’

The Spaniard flinches but quickly recovers, bringing her free hand up to cover yours.

‘Gracias.’ She whispers.

Withdrawing your hand, you wait patiently for her to compose herself.

‘It’s been a while.’ Ona starts.

You hum in acknowledgement. (a while was a gross understatement, it had been forever)

******

Being separated from Ona was something you hated.

From the moment you met, you had never once been separated for more than a day. Except for the time you went on a family holiday to Italy and after Ona suffered her ankle injury in the U20 World Cup.

For the first, you had called whenever you could and texted pretty much constantly, to the point where your parents had joked that they should have simply invited her along.

For the second, being separated from Ona for three weeks was agony. You missed her so badly that if it wasn’t for your dedication to your teammates and your determination to win it for your injured girlfriend, you would have gone home to her.

Those three weeks without her had been forever then.

If you’d told your nineteen year old self that you would have spent the last three years apart from Ona, she would have been absolutely sure you were crazy.

******

It’s your turn to almost cry, blinking at the table in an attempt to keep the tears at bay.

‘It’s been a while and I-I’ll be in England for a bit. More specifically, I’ll be in Manchester for a bit.’

‘Oh.’ You stare blankly at her, wondering what possible reason she could have to return. It certainly wasn’t for you because you weren’t enough for her all those years ago, so why would you be now?

‘Escúchame please. I won’t be in your way, I’ll make sure our paths never cross if you want so. If I meet up with your current teammates, my old United teammates, I’ll make sure it won’t concern you.’ Ona rushes out.

‘Ona-’

‘I promise.’ She swears, without waiting for you to finish.

‘Ona you don’t have to do that.’

‘My friends, they’re your friends too and it would be unfair of me to keep you from seeing them just because we broke up. I don’t want us to have to be the kind of exes that have to geographically divide the city.’

The woman sitting across from you stares in shock. She hadn’t expected you to be so nice to her. Then again Ona should never have doubted you, your kindness knew no limits, even when she knew she didn’t deserve it.

******

‘Want to share my granola bar? We can split it in half if you’re hungry?’

The offer startles the smaller girl sitting beside you (in the years to come, Ona shoots up to become taller than you).

She looks up, brown eyes wide as she questions, ‘Are you sure? I don’t want you to be hungry too.’

‘I’m sure. I won’t be, I promise.’ You nod at her rapidly, willing her to accept the snack. All your other new teammates were eating too and you didn’t want the pretty girl with freckles to feel left out (you might have been only twelve but she’s the prettiest girl you’ve ever seen).

‘Okay.’ She shyly agrees and you smile, breaking the granola bar in two so that she can have half.

‘Gracias.’ She smiles, gently taking it from you.

In between nibbles of the small snack, you get her to open up and learn that her name is Ona and that she loves cheetahs.

******

It’s that memory that has you shocking Ona further.

‘Can we go on a date?’

Your ex nearly spits out her mouthful of coffee.

‘W-What?’ She chokes out.

‘Friend dates Ona. You were my best friend before you were my girlfriend. I’ve missed that. I miss you and if you are going to be in Manchester…I’d like to get to know you again.’ You clarify.

This was definitely silly, reckless (and possibly astronomically stupid) of you but you needed to try. You needed to understand why she left you like she did.

Your heart rate increases as you wait for her to respond. Here you were, putting yourself out again, risking your already broken heart.

******

‘Ona? Please just come to bed.’ You beg.

Your twenty four year old girlfriend was curled on the couch, staring unblinkingly at the wall opposite.

It had been like this for weeks now. Ona had pulled away and stopped touching you. She stopped kissing you, stopped talking to you and now, wouldn’t share the same bed as you (in the days to come, she stops looking at you).

You couldn’t sleep without her but like with each previous development, you respected her space.

Despite how much pain you were in, you gave her what she wanted.

There was no warning, no indication that she would start pulling away. It was just one less thing every day. (until eventually there was nothing)

‘Mi amor please. Please.’

Your voice cracks on the last word. There are tears falling down your cheeks now but your girlfriend doesn’t respond. She doesn’t even look up.

As you let out a sob and walk back to your bedroom, you come to the heartbreaking realisation that you’d lost her.

That was the night you really knew you had lost her.

******

Ona scans your face, looking for any sign of the anger and resentment that should be there.

Instead, all she finds is resignation, sorrow and hurt, under the anxiety that you show as you wait for her answer.

Above all that though, she can see hope. Hope that maybe, just maybe you could get to know each other again.

In an instant, Ona’s mind is made up. She can’t find it in herself to inflict any more suffering on you and this olive branch that you were extending, it gave her the chance to attempt to make things up to you (she was determined to do everything she possibly could to try).

‘I’d like that.’

The soft words and the matching soft smile on her face makes that little glimmer of hope that you have, glow.

Spanish Translations:

amor - love

hola - hi/hello

gracias - thank you

sí - yes

mi vida - my life

muchas gracias - thank you so much

escúchame - listen to me

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katelynnwrites · 1 year

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Look At Me, I’m A Star (You’re The Reason) | Ona Batlle

warnings: tissues are needed because a lot of tears will be involved

word count: 3668

summary: it’s always the next person that gets the better version but maybe in this case you’ll be the one who gets the better version of ona

chosen song: better version by fletcher

a/n: chapter 4/6 of you were bigger than the whole sky (you were more than just a short time)

Without Ona, there is no doubt that you would not be where you were today.

There was a good chance you would never have made it pro, let alone play for a huge club like Manchester United in a country entirely different from the one of your birth.

The two of you had always complimented each other, being the other half of your individual selves. Her positivity balanced out your tendency to go too far into your head and you were the calm to her easy excitement.

Ona was the one who pushed you to take your skills to the next level. You staying out late on the field with her because of her desire to be the best had inadvertently benefitted you as well. Having her as your training partner meant that day in and day out, you worked with one of the best fullbacks in the world.

Her holding your hand and rubbing your chest when you were anxious before games allowed you to confidently go out onto the pitch and prove your worth to the footballing world. (to prove what Ona had known even when you were both just children)

It was because of her that you were the fullback you were today. She helped you with the career you were making.

If that wasn’t enough, the brunette had also given you a family. One that had not just supported her but you as well, especially once you had started dating.

Their support had been invaluable because they had been there when your own family wasn’t. Ona’s family had become your family, Ona’s brother growing to become the brother you never had.

In fact they had been so sure Ona would one day make you an official member of their family and give you their last name as well. So much so that Ona’s father had given you his blessing when you were seventeen.

You remember the moment clearly, having just come back from a date with your then girlfriend.

Your then girlfriend who had opened the door, bounced up to her parents and announced, ‘She kissed me in the rain! Like in the movies!’

It didn’t matter that her whole body was soaked or that she was dripping water onto the floor. It definitely didn’t matter that you too were in a similar state because Ona was so happy that she was practically glowing.

The date hadn’t gone as planned, all of Ona’s careful planning for your day off being ruined by the rain.

She had wanted to take you to the beach (and you suspect, show off her new bikini). However, the rain had started as soon as the both of you had stepped onto the sand.

Ona’s crestfallen face had you tugging on her hand and smiling despite the downpour.

‘It’s okay Oni. I’m happy to go back to your place and cuddle?’

The brunette had tried to smile back but her disappointment was clear.

‘Cheer up mi amor, I like your bikini. You look beautiful in it.’

‘What? How?’ Ona’s confusion is adorable to you and you nudge her waist.

‘Oh!’

The rain had made Ona’s white shirt see through and you could definitely appreciate the way the wet material clings to her toned form.

You laugh, placing a hand on her cheek as you tiptoe to kiss her.

Ona reciprocates immediately, her hands resting on your waist.

She sneaks in a second breathtaking kiss as soon as the first one ends, pulling back to tilt her head in question cutely, ‘So cuddles?’

‘Yes cuddles.’

Your girlfriend is quick to grab your hand as the two of you race back to her family house.

Ona’s joy is so infectious that her parents smile too. Her mother laughs and you grin, kissing Ona’s cheek affectionately.

‘Go change Oni. We don’t want you getting sick mi amor.’

‘Okay.’ Ona squeezes your hand before she disappears into her room.

Before you can follow her, her father takes the rare opportunity of Ona not being beside you to hug you tightly, despite your drenched clothes.

‘Thank you for making my daughter so happy. I see the way you love and care for her. I view you as my daughter already but when Ona makes it official and gives you our last name, which we all know is only a matter of time, know that you have my blessing. I’d be honored to be your father in law.’

Ona’s mother joins in the hug, the older woman squeezing your hand tightly in hers.

‘You have both our blessings’

In that moment your whole chest feels tight, entirely choked with emotion.

******

You stay in your room for the better part of the day, spending the majority of the time crying.

It was so stupid of you to think that you could be friends again. It was even more stupid of you to think you could rebuild the trust that she had broken.

It is nearing evening when your tears finally slow.

The grief had dulled from a sharp pain to an ache in your chest though you knew from experience it would bounce between the two.

******

When Ona left, packing up the majority of her things and leaving you with just a note, it broke you.

Millie and the others had done their best to fix you, time had done its fair share but you were still hurting. Maybe it was the lack of closure or maybe it was the way she had just left, without talking to you. She hadn’t even bothered trying to fight for your relationship.

Nothing could have prepared you from coming back from the grocery store to find a note taped to the refrigerator door.

‘I can’t do this anymore. I’m going back to Barcelona.’

The absolute and overwhelming grief you had felt then, it was so much so that you couldn’t even cry.

You had just sat there, on the floor of your kitchen with Ona’s note held in your hand.

You knew that your relationship was going through a bad patch and it was true that both you and Ona hadn’t been communicating but you didn’t think she would break up with you just like that.

Twelve years of knowing each other, ten years of being hers and ten years of you calling her yours and it was over. Ten words from Ona ended the ten years of your relationship, the ten years of loving each other.

******

Deciding that you should get yourself something to eat or at least to drink (all your crying had made you thirsty), you manage to get yourself out from under your blankets.

Opening your door, you find Ona sitting outside.

Her knees are drawn up to her chest, eyes red and swollen as she looks up at you.

Your bottom lip wobbles and you manage a shaky, ‘What are you doing here?’

‘I’m not leaving you. I did that once and it was the biggest mistake of my life. I won’t make it again and I won’t break any more promises to you.’ Her voice is determined despite the tear tracks on her cheeks.

‘Ona…’

The brunette shakes her head, scrambling to her feet and pushing a neatly tied up stack of letters into your hand.

‘Read these. Please, I am begging you to read them. Read them and if you still want me to leave after, I’ll leave. If you never want to hear from me ever again, you won’t. Just please, por favor read them.’ She pleads.

You look down at the letters, about five in total, each in their own envelopes and labeled with a date. Three of them have your birthday written on them. One for each birthday you had spent without her.

Wordlessly, you turn back around to enter your bedroom, sitting down on the bed.

Ona hovers by the doorway but doesn’t make a move to enter.

You open the first of the letters. The one from your twenty fourth birthday, two months after Ona left Manchester.

******

Mi amor,

You’re twenty four today and I nearly bought a plane ticket to come see you. I don’t think you would have wanted that though, not after the way I left.

You’re special, you’re kind and you’re beautiful. I was the luckiest person in the world to have had the chance to be loved by you. I am so sorry I ever ruined that.

I can’t remember a time where I wasn’t there for your birthday. I wish I could give you your birthday kisses, like I have every year since we were fourteen. Since we were twelve, if you count the cheek kisses I used to give then. But I know I don’t have that right anymore.

I don’t think I should have the right to miss you either but I do. I miss you so much.

I miss our late night conversations at stupid o’clock when you would come up with all those facts I’ve never even heard of. I love that about you. I miss the way you’d run your fingers through my hair. I miss you playing with the rings I wear. I miss knowing that at the end of every day I have you to come home to.

I could go on about everything I miss but most of all I just miss you. I miss you.

Happy birthday amor. You deserve to have the best day.

Yours forever,

Ona

******

You trace the dried tear stains on the paper. They told you that Ona meant what she had written, that the words that she had penned down were enough to move her emotionally.

It was heartfelt you could see that but everything in the letter contrasted her actions.

You don’t understand. You were even more lost now than when she had first left you.

Chancing a glance at Ona, you see that she is still standing in the doorway. Her body posture is rigid, eyes nervously watching you.

So you move on to the second letter, the one dated from your twenty fifth birthday.

******

Mi amor,

Feliç aniversari.

It’s been a year and I still miss you every day. I still wake up at night and reach for you only to find that you aren’t there. I know that is my doing and I hope that one day I will be able to offer you a sufficient explanation.

I remember the time we had a game on your birthday and I promised you that I would get you a goal. I remember driving up the wing to assist you, I remember the way you headed it into the net. I especially remember the way you told me you loved me when you jumped into my arms in celebration.

Out of everyone on the pitch that day, you chose me to celebrate your goal with first. It was your moment and yet you managed to make it special for the both of us. You made it feel like we were the only two people in the stadium.

I remember everything we’ve done together because you’re amazing. You’re so so incredibly amazing and I have never deserved you.

I am really sorry.

Just know that I don’t think I will ever be able to move on from you. I am yours, I always have been.

I hope you have a great day, you deserve it.

Yours still,

Ona

******

The ink in the following letter is entirely smudged. Ona’s handwriting was shaky and you know, in your heart, that she had been in great distress when she wrote it.

It’s not from one of your birthdays but rather from two weeks after she broke up with you.

******

Mi cielo,

I went home today, to Vilassar de Mar. My parents are disappointed in me. My brother is angry with me, for what I did to you.

They didn’t say it but I know they are.

What’s worse is that they are right.

They are right. I should never have left you, especially in the way that I did. You deserve better than that.

I need to fix this but I don’t know how. I should have just talked to you about how I was feeling, talking to you has always made me feel better.

Closing myself off from you was the worst possible thing I could have done, I see that now.

I don’t know why two weeks ago I thought that breaking up with you was the right decision to make. What we had was special and you are the most important person in my life.

For the past three months I’ve been feeling lost but that is nothing compared to how I feel now. I don’t know how to do this without you, I don’t know how to live a life without you.

I should have said yes when you asked me to marry you. I’ve dreamt of that moment for so long and I know you have too. You were are perfect and you did everything right.

You tried to fix us all on your own and I should have let you in. If I had, maybe you would still love me.

I’m so incredibly sorry I ruined us. I ruined everything and I’ll never be able to forgive myself for that. I hate myself for hurting you.

Please be okay, I hope Millie and the rest of the team are taking good care of you.

Yours always,

Ona

******

Your falling tears further smudge the writing and you look up at Ona who looks fearfully back at you.

There’s so many questions that you have but you move on to read the rest of the letters.

The next one you pick up is from your twenty sixth birthday.

******

Amor,

You have stars in your eyes. You’re so absolutely beautiful and talented.

I watched the goal you scored at the Theatre Of Dreams. It was an amazing one, an absolute golazo. I was screaming at my television, I think my neighbours hate me. Goalkeepers all around the world are going to be terrified of the power in your right foot.

You played at Old Trafford on your birthday this year, I can’t think of anyone who deserves the honor of scoring the winning goal more.

Felicitats on that and on turning twenty six.

I have so many things I want to tell you but I don’t know if you’ll want to hear them. This is your third birthday that we’ve spent apart and I just want you to know that I am proud of you for what you’ve accomplished in these three years.

For what it’s worth, I am incredibly proud of you.

Yours entirely,

Ona

******

The one you’re reading now is the last one. The date written on it is the tenth of July, the day you bumped into Ona at the cafe.

******

Mi vida,

I saw you today and you took my breath away. Three years without you and you still do that. You still have my heart and I imagine you always will.

I know that you probably hate me and that’s okay. It’s what I deserve.

In case I get the chance to see you again, I’ve written this letter for you, to try and explain why I left you. Giving you an explanation is the least I can do.

I have tried for the past three years to make sense of what was going through my head at that time. This is what I’ve managed to understand.

I have spent more than half my life loving you. For nine of those years, you loved me back. Those nine years were the best of my whole life.

I can’t remember a time where I didn’t love you. We’re twenty seven now, well I am but you will be too in September and I have loved you since we were twelve and playing for La Masia together.

In a decade we have had a lifetime of love. Every milestone I had, you were there celebrating it with me. Likewise, every milestone you had, I was there celebrating it with you.

Those three months leading up to me breaking up with you, I began to have these thoughts in my head. At first they only happened when I was alone but then they began to become nightmares that kept me up at night.

Eventually they became all I could think about, especially when I was with you.

I know it hurt you when I began to pull away but back then I couldn’t see any other option.

I was so scared of being hurt that I hurt you too.

By the time I realised that, I thought it would be best if I just left. I’d hurt you so much already so I figured that a clean break would be best.

Everyone has told me that that was wrong of me, mainly because I never let you have a say in the decision.

Our relationship has always been based on us being equals and having good communication. I failed you when I didn’t let you in. If I had just opened up about the thoughts in my head, we wouldn’t be living so far apart now.

I know you knew something was wrong very early on. You were always the best at understanding me, sometimes better than I knew myself. You knew I was growing distant and I think you proposed to me because you wanted to show me how committed you were to our relationship. I need you to know I never should have questioned your commitment. You’ve never given me a reason to.

Your proposal was like heaven and hell at the same time. You made everything perfect, my favourite home cooked food and the simplicity of it all. It was just us in our home. It was everything I dreamt of since we were children.

The ring you chose would have been beautiful, I never saw it but I know that I would have loved it. I regret not giving you the chance to even open the box every day.

But at that point those awful thoughts had already taken over my mind and you asking me to marry you dropped me in the deep end.

I knew that I was scared of how much I loved you but your proposal made it so much more real. It made me realise that I wouldn’t know what to do without you. That scared me so badly that saying no seemed like the only choice I had.

Watching the light in your eyes die when I said no, I know I broke your heart that day. If I could go back in time and change my answer, I would. But I can’t.

Our lives have always been so intertwined that I feared being lost without you.

I let that fear take over and I lost the most important person in my life because of it.

Even as I was distancing myself from you, as I was causing you pain, you were kind, you were warm and you were patient. You’ve never been anything but good to me. I don’t deserve that. I don’t deserve you.

Sorry will never be enough for the hurt I’ve caused you. I will spend the rest of my life apologising and making it up to you, if you’ll let me. Even that will never be enough for me breaking your trust and all the promises I’ve made to you.

I still think of you, you are the better half of me. You’ll always be my everything.

Yours forever and always,

Ona

******

You’re openly crying when you finish reading.

‘I thought you didn’t want me. I thought that you’d left because you found someone else. I didn’t know that I wasn’t the only one hurting all these years.’

Ona looks stricken, she’d never thought that you would think you were unwanted.

She is barely able to resist the urge to run to you, to hold you tight and cover you with kisses. To assure you that you were wanted. That you were so so wanted and the problem was never with you but with her.

She forces herself to remain frozen in her spot, only daring to meet your gaze when you hiccup and ask, ‘Why did you come back?’

‘I came back because Aitana told me that you still asked about me. I didn’t know you still cared about me. It was an impulse decision to buy a plane ticket and once I was here I began to think it through. I had bought a return ticket but since it wasn’t for a few hours, I couldn’t resist going to our cafe and that’s when I ran into you. That’s why I decided to push back my flight and write that letter.’

Ona takes in a deep breath, steadying her voice when she continues her explanation, ‘I asked you to come to the cafe to give you the letters. Then you sidetracked my plans in the way you have always done, in the best way possible. I was only supposed to be here for the rest of that week but every time that I met you, I couldn’t bear to leave. It was selfish of me to go along with your plans when I owed you the truth.’

Her effort to keep her tears at bay fails then, ‘I’m so sorry I ever hurt you. You deserved better, you deserve better.’

The fresh tears that spill from your eyes don’t stop you from asking, ‘Are you a better version now?’

Your former girlfriend nods determinedly, ‘For you I will be. I have tried my best to learn when we were apart and I will continue to do my best to try.’

That’s good enough for you because pushing yourself off the bed and crossing the room quickly, you’re in front of her in a moment and grabbing her cheeks in your hands as you pull her in for a kiss.

Spanish Translations:

mi amor - my love

por favor - please

mi cielo - my darling

mi vida - my life

amor - love

Catalan Translations:

feliç aniversari - happy birthday

felicitats - congratulations

#ona batlle #ona batlle x reader #ona batlle imagine #muwfc x reader #muwfc imagine #wsl x reader #wsl imagine #espwnt x reader #espwnt imagine #spain wnt x reader #spain wnt imagine #futfem x reader #futfem imagine #katelynnwrites #uswnt imagine #uswnt x reader #you were bigger than the whole sky

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