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thiswaycomessomethingwicked · 9 months

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Lately I've been thinking about modern day Napolington dealing with murder fairies. They're just two bickering ambassadors or some such then oops horrific murders happen.

I had a long running modern day AU head canon thing wherein Arthur was in Paris representing the UK on some matter or another (his actual position, and what he was there for, is irrelevant) and Napoleon was a member of the French government (which ministry he'd be in changes for me on the regular since he'd be a good fit for a few of them - regardless, he's in a very senior position) and due to Shenanigans and Situations and a bit of a rooftop drunken party they end up shacking up and Arthur's family is shocked and appalled and Napoleon's siblings are all like "god you're a mess, Napoleone, and really? an Englishman?" though his mother would be Very Catholic(tm) about it all. His father wouldn't care because Carlo was a bit of a chaotic lush.

(I have it that he was married to Josephine but she died within the last two to three years of something unexpected and he's now single-dad-ing it with their kids.)

Murat is all, 'Welcome to the family. They're going to give you a really hard time for the next ten years then they might accept you. Maybe. Though as an Englishman, maybe not.' Turns to Napoleon, 'Really?? An Englishman?? The least you could have done was date a Scotsman or something. The only reason my kids are learning English is because I believe in knowing thy enemy.' (Napoleon, sotto voce: it's not the one hundred years war anymore. christ.)

Arthur is like, 'See, at least people talk about things in this family. If in a sort of terribly Corsican, over the top, wow-that-didn't-need-to-be-put-quite-like-that fashion. My mother texted me: You shall arrive promptly for Christmas dinner. You know the size of the family dining table and so therefore there's only one spot being set for you. And that's literally all the communication I've received about the entire matter.'

Murat: Holy shit. Savage.

Arthur, 'Napoleon, meanwhile, had fifteen family conference calls about it. There was some yelling. My Italian isn't very good, but I think he was called a Little Slut by Jerome then your wife said "at least he's not Austrian like that one mistake you dated".'

Murat, 'I know, I was on them.'

Arthur, 'You should do family zoom calls. Then you can see the facial expressions he's making through it all.'

Pauline and Elise are the only nice, normal ones (aside from Hortense and Eugene and the younger generation more broadly). Caroline just thinks it's hilarious. Joseph is nice by dint of not really caring. He's just like, 'mama, we all saw what he was like in university.' and Letizia is like, 'at least he married and had children before going all peculiar. At least I have grandchildren. Even if he was married to a woman I didn't approve of.'

Joseph:

Joseph: you have so many grandchildren.

Joseph: also you approve of almost no one's spouse.

Lucien, like Murat, is appalled that it's an Englishman. He's like, 'brother, brother, I know some very nice French artists and writers. Let me introduce you to them.' and Napoleon is like, 'your friends are all pretentious freaks, Lucien, you know that right?'

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sorry the entire thing becomes a comedy of errors almost immediately

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anyway! Murder fairies! I love the idea of a modern AU with murder fairies. OOooooooh, they're visiting England because Napoleon wants to go on a walking tour because he's outdoorsy like that and enjoys walks and nature.

Queue some fucked up murders.

Also Arthur's family being Posh(tm) and English(tm). (Anne is like: I'm trying to accept this. I'm trying to be good about this. Arthur is all: can you try harder? Granted, you're doing better than literally everyone else. Gerald just lectured me about God.)

Napoleon: not sure what i'm scared more of: the murder fairies or your mother.

Richard: at least I'm not the one with the fucked up love life for ten minutes!

Arthur: Richard, you are not helping.

OR

it's in Paris, there's political stuff happening in the background and then people start experiencing some weird things. Reflections in the mirrors are blurry about the edges. People think they see things then turn around and there's nothing behind them. Bumps in the night.

There's something about making big cities super claustrophobic that I like. Atmospheric countryside is really fun, and I love the ease in which it allows you to drop into the gothic, but there's something especially horrifying in being in a busy place full of people and still the creatures can get you.

Also, the fact that the murder fairies access our realm via mirrors and dreams means there's no real escape.

With modernity, well, we're all carrying mirrors at any given moment since cellphones are reflective surfaces. Also something with the selfie camera would be hell of a lot of fun.

Also the murder fairies wear people's skin as their glamour so you never actually know if who you're talking to is the person or the fairy.

But there's so much potential with modern technology.

Murder fairies infest the metro. You descend down to get on the metro at Rennes or whatever and when the train pulls up the reflection in the windows as they pass by shows a murder fairy behind you and when you turn around it's just the crowd.

Fun fun fun!! Fun for the whole family!

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excerpt from my own murder fairy story that has yet to see the light of day:

The other fairies move forward, two already have swords drawn. The king holds up a hand and they stop their advance. A smile full of teeth. I see what your plan is. The king steps forward. Napoleon does his best to look down at the king whilst looking up. I had hoped you would be willing as Peredur was willing. Magic is stronger when the healing gift is freely given, but I will take what I need. 'How will this work?' Napoleon asks, sweating. The heat overwhelms. Sharp cracks of rock splitting slice air. 'If it is me you need, my own leg never fully healed, just as yours doesn't seem to want to heal. Mapping mine over yours won’t make it better. And your wound doesn’t mean your kingdom is wounded or must suffer. I believe that some power of kingship comes embodied in the person himself, but much of it extends beyond the mere physical form. Yes, the monarch represents the land and the people, but if you are wounded, and you allow that to determine the quality of your kingship, to control your actions, dictate and consume your leadership, you were never fit to rule in the first place. That right belongs to someone else.' This is not your world and it does not operate by your rules. My land is bound to my body. If I am wasted away, so is my land. You have seen where it is barren. 'Even if that is so, I can't heal you. My body, my skin, will not heal you. No one's body can heal you. Didn't you remain wounded when you took Arthur's appearance? Percival’s? If so, that was no healing. It was applying a bandage to something requiring stiches.' You cannot know that. ‘I am not your Percival. You are not my fisher king.' The king shakes his head in a pitying manner. Reaching forward, he wraps a clawed hand around Napoleon's neck and lifts him up as if he were nothing but a rag doll. [...] The fisher king was healed by the Grail question. But that is legend, and this is real life. Real life where a woman is on fire, ripping apart a bridge. Real life where a fairy is strangling him. Real life where he dangles two feet off the ground fast heading towards unconsciousness. Napoleon tries for air, tries for the question, 'what is it that troubles—' Searing pain across stomach. Everything is stars, blurred shapes, sharp colours. He thinks he might be screaming. Movement. He is aware of being thrown. Hard rock. Searing hot rock. He feels it through clothes. His hands hold coiled intestines. He thinks he should ask for opium. He thinks it fitting he'd die on a bridge with stomach cut open. It’s poetic and his life has always been something of a romance.

Napoleon is having a great time, everyone!

#it works that they disappear people and then use their skin #if the faie take you you're basically dead #they send you to avalon and that's not a good thing #you've been skinned #you're dead #there's no coming bacl #back*#the fisher king just wants a new meat suit!#writing #napoleon bonaparte #napoleon #napoleon: what is it that wounds you?#fisher king: first person who has asked correctly in a thousand years.#arthur wellesley #napolington #murder fairies #pale before the fall #nox #sort of

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 6 months

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The indescribable tension between an overworked and underpaid smut writer, and his biggest fan hater.

(for @frummpets)

#SVSSS #Shen yuan #shang qinghua #cumplane #Normally I don't tag with ship names but this one is a special case.#Confession time: When I first had SVSSS described to me I 100% thought the main pairing was between these two.#The dynamic is impeccable! Even if its 'just a fan ship' I stand by it.#Sorry to the people who like to think of them as handsome pretty boys. I don't.#These guys sit in their rooms and use the computer for 90% of waking hours. They are not looking after themselves well enough for good skin #They can be cute in their own way. People with acne and missed shaving spots deserve to have their romances too.#And sloppy hate makeouts <3 #Hi Sol! I truly did whoop and holler when drawing your name for the raffle!#You've been so kind and generous towards me and I'd happy to finally have the opportunity to give back some of that joy!#Thank you so much for all your support and the incredible fanart <3 You've made my day so many times!#I hope this silly mini comic is to your liking!#Playing around with colours for this one was a blast!

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manicpixieangel444 · 28 days

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⋆✮⋅˚₊‧♱⋅˚₊‧✮⋆

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betterluck-nextt1me · 27 days

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boyfriend material

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notmoreflippingelves · 1 month

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#elena of avalor #beauty and the beast #batbedit #disneyedit #eoa edit #belle x beast #estebalena #kinda but also not kinda #I think a lot about the fact that it's been confirmed that this is an intentional homage #like EoA series supervising director Elliot M. Bour was just like casually bringing BATB into things as an Easter egg #since it was his first job in animation #and like don't get me wrong; I LOVE that he did this. I just don't know how he expected anyone (i.e. me) to be normal about it afterwards #once you've introduced BATB; it ceases to be a fun and casual reference and just makes the literature major girlies go feral #i thought this was gonna be a quick and easy little project but it wasn't #the parallels are all there but they're in slightly different order in EoA than the original and the pacing for each reference is differen #so i had to determine which ones I needed to skip frames for and which ones to use all the frames #and then try to figure out the speed from there #the coronation day scenes were very hard to color because the grey skies and muted filter kind of whitewash the characters #like you don't even understand i added so MUCH vibrance and saturation to the 4th and 5th gifs but elena's skin still is just gray #and the coloring is still just a very very mixed bag #also i've realized that while I don't think it was an intentional reference in the same way BATB was #anna's sacrifice and resurrection from frozen is perhaps just as --if not more-- a clear parallel to the coronation day scene than BATB #so maybe I will do that one someday too?#once i psych myself up again to try coloring coronation day again #which i imagine will be awhile #these do not look like the same scene and pretty much the same scene at all even if i tried to use the same psd when i could #and edit them to make the coloring as close as i could

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luxlibson · 22 days

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“𝑀𝑖𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑠𝑜 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑙𝑦“

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donnie-with-a-cup-of-coffee · 2 months

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I have never watched a minecraft youtuber in my life but fanart for the qsmp keeps appearing on my dash and I'm enchanted every time

#like they're the most gorgeous creative heart wrenching fanworks you've ever seen #with the most beautiful designs and youre telling me thats a minecraft skin???#a skin from minecraft???#and ppl are talking abt it like theres a story #you mean its not just a lets play????#I thought it was just a minecraft server???? and they played minecraft??#I keep seeing the most beautiful art on my dash #and i go to the tags like oh what media is this from #and its tagged #qsmp #ive been scrolling that tag for like 2 hours now #people are drawing some pretty serious stuff on... Quesadilla island??#I have no context for any of this and suddenly I need it #i just scrolled past another beautiful fanwork #thats it i have to watch it #i need to know what happens in the story because clearly theres a story #theres context for all this fanart #theres LORE here #i need to know the lore

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icannotgetoverbirds · 3 months

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Share to save a dandruff-haver's sanity

i am making this post because all my life i have been told my dandruff was my fault for not washing my hair correctly and shamed for having "poor hygiene" as a result - this is probably where the bfrbs started tbh.

SO. There are two main types of dandruff!

Dry scalp flakes: these are white and itty bitty! you can probably solve this with a good hair and skincare routine. HOWEVER unless they are bothering you it is absolutely not necessary for any kind of health reason (afaik! disclaimer! i am not a doctor! this is not actionable medical advice nor should you take me anywhere near as seriously as a dermatologist). IS NOT CAUSED BY POOR HYGIENE.

Fungal dandruff: Bigger, yellowish, possibly oily/greasy flakes! Caused by your genetics going Oops All Yeast! Generally requires a prescription antifungal treatment from a dermatologist! ALSO NOT CAUSED BY POOR HYGIENE.

Either way, if you have dandruff, a dermatologist is the one you want to consult if it's bothering you! and frankly, even if it was a hygiene issue, nobody deserves to be shamed for that!!!!! especially considering that there are plenty of people who struggle to shower regularly due to circumstances beyond their control!

AND FOR CHRIST'S SAKE STOP SHAMING PEOPLE WITH DANDRUFF!!!!

#dandruff #byrd chirps #byrd's business #i am Big Mad about this #because ALL of my parents blamed me for my dandruff #and no matter what they tried it wouldn't go away #but they never thought to take me to a dermatologist for this SKIN issue #just assumed that we were doing something wrong #and i got called gross for having dandruff #and tbf it is kinda gross! but you don't call a literal child gross and say its their own fault #idk maybe my parents were just That Shitty and nobody else has this issue #but regardless. on the off chance that someone went through what i did:#i see u. you've done nothing wrong. you didn't fuck up in some way that makes you deserve to have dandruff #and by no means do you deserve to be shamed for it #certainly not to a degree where you feel like you have to cause yourself pain with scrubbing and picking and chemicals that don't even work #(which is what I've been doing)#dandruff havers ily and i am giving you a lil forehead kissie #dandruff shamers i am going to killing you with hammers

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youwantmore · 1 month

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wiisagi-maiingan · 11 months

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With my posts about traditional medicines and natural remedies getting reblogged, I want to say this too:

Always be honest with your healthcare providers about what other substances you're taking, including over-the-counter medication and vitamins and other "natural" treatments, and ask before starting anything new. Those things DO affect your body and can cause you medical issues without you realizing it, have dangerous interactions with any medications you're prescribed, or cause complications during medical procedures like surgeries.

Something being natural doesn't always mean that it's 100% safe and harmless, especially when mixed with other substances. And always remember: you NEVER trust safety claims from someone who is trying to sell you something. Always get a second or third opinion from uninvolved professionals.

#maybe your severe skin rashes are because you put essential oils in your laundry #and your dermatologist would REALLY like to know that you've been doing that

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talentforlying · 4 months

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tbh i think the coldest and most shocking thing that can happen in an argument with this man is if you call him "john" and he corrects you to "constantine". biggest red flag you can find on the play. sounds pretentious when you're not experiencing it. means he's absolutely fucking furious with you.

#like here's the thing: he's not going to correct you if he doesn't know you or like you. he won't give anyone that power over him #he won't ever let some random jackass know they've gotten under his skin. it's just not worth the effort to him.#so if he's correcting you? it means you know him on a personal level. it means you're at Bare Minimum good friends #and it means he's so fucking angry that he's rescinding your place in his life until the argument is resolved. the castle gates are closed #you are now on professional speaking terms until this is resolved and the professional constantine is a real nasty piece of work #who will not spare your feelings or try to salvage whatever you've built with him. professional constantine wants the job Done #i've talked before about how little effort his father put into naming him after his mum died and how unemotional john's been about it since #and how unique it must feel when someone says 'john' to him with love or care or compassion after a lifetime of hearing it in anything but #like his first name doesn't usually mean a lot to him! its use is not a closely guarded privilege!#but if he cares about you then calling him 'john' can feel as intimate to him as a kiss #and if you burn him he will snatch that level of access away from you for Months. sometimes Years.#so! yeah!! if he ever corrects your name choice in an argument then you've Really Fucked Up Buddy!!!!#( also. hypocrite that he is. if you're on 'john' terms and you call him 'constantine' in an argument FIRST he will be absolutely WOUNDED )#( and he will cover with that professional veneer. that cold uncaring mask of anger. but it's trapped-cornered-animal anger )#( it's let-me-cover-this-injury-before-you-can-really-get-your-fingers-in-it defensiveness. and he will be cautiously distant afterwards )#( headcanons. ) I'M JUST LIKE THE BASTARDS I'VE HATED ALL ME LIFE.

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triangle-strategy-notes · 8 months

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[Image id for the two images above: The first image is a scan of the first page of Medina's concept art. There are two versions of Medina's canon portrait, one colored, one uncolored. There is an illustrator's note at the bottom in Japanese. The second image is a translation of that note, which reads, "The face on the bottom of the next page came from the first draft. It didn't look quite right, so I was grumbling to Ikushima about it, and he redrew the whole thing, giving it the look it has now (laughs). Sorry about that, I was pretty busy at the time. In my opinion, she's become the most beautiful woman thanks to you! (Tatsuaki Urushihara)" /End id]

[Image id for the three images above: The first image is a scan of the second page of Medina's concept art. It has several drawings of Medina, including a full-body portrait that shows some details of the belt and pouch she wears, and has an additional illustrator's note at the bottom. The second image is a translation of the title, which reads, "Buff, Debuff Character," and translations for the captions. One points to a feather decoration on her hat and reads, "Feather ornament that resembles a leaf." Another points to her uniform and reads, "Well-made uniform, since they're provided by a medical institution in a rich country." Another caption points to a version of her without her hat, and says, "No hat version." The third image is a translation of the illustrator's note at the bottom of the second page, which reads, "I put this together based off a concept for an apothecary costume in 'Various Daylife' that I was given. (Tatsuaki Urushihara)." /end id]

Translation notes under the cut.

"I put this together based off a concept for an apothecary costume" might have been making a reference to a specific job class in Various Daylife. I looked it up a little and found one called "Herbalist" that might match, but I'm not super familiar with the game myself, so I wasn't 100% sure about it.

#triangle strategy #triangle strategy artbook #ts artbook character ref sheets #medina alliam #I didn't wait for the poll to end lol but hopefully this is easier to read!#I went back and forth on whether or not to include a full version of the translated page #but eventually opted against it because it just felt like extra clutter #feel free to leave tags/reply if you have any thoughts!#but yeah! seems like opposed to other characters Medina's development was a little more gameplay-driven vs story-driven #it's a little sad! I was kinda hoping for more of her backstory #just based off skin tone I kept kinda wondering if she might not be from Aesfrost/Glenbrook originally. but alas #sometimes I go a little nuts about how most of the PCs from Hyzante don't seem to have actually been designed to be ethnically Hyzantian #after looking it up seems like you've got medina geela corentin ezana quahaug archibald and (probably?) narve #which of those only two have a darker skin tone #I'm not calling square enix cowards BUT

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manicpixieangel444 · 1 month

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