#did Pogo not teach them that

[the-krakens-bitch]

I know for the fact that the Umbrella academy kids are idiots, not just Olga for öga or saying lobsters are disappearing before telling the others it was people disappearing too. It for thinking that nothing would have changed if Reginald didn’t adopt them

#like Allison #you became a movie star and meet Patrick and had Claire because of your upbringing #like #did no one learn about the butterfly effect #did Pogo not teach them that #allison hargreeves #the umbrella academy #tua #umbrella academy #the hargreeves #diego hargreeves #ben hargreeves #luther hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #number five #reginald hargreeves #five hargreeves #viktor hargreeves

[nilolol30]

Ello ^^, just curious can you do a one-shot of where reader is MK’s sibling(GN) but gets trained by macaque? (Platonic)

(OOO I like this!! The outcomes would be pretty different depending on the season this plays out so I did it a little after season 3. I also may be playing a little favoritism on this oneshot 💀)

"Okay break time kid" Macaque put his staff away letting it fade out from its shape returning into the shadows "Wait what? But I can still keep going!" You wiped the sweat from your forehead.

"You can't fight if you've got torn muscles kiddo it's good to try and push limits but not flat out breaking them okay" he ruffles the hair on your head making his way to the bean bag he recently added to the dojo and sat down.

"But didn't you push Mk's limits further than this?" You joined him sitting down in the bean bag next to him your comment makes Macaque frown slightly "That...that was different kid I wasn't trying to train him I was manipulating him just to get back at Wukong I shoulda left him out of our business kid and I'm not here to hurt you like that I'm here to teach you"

You stared at Macaque you knew he didn't apologize to Mk about what he did but you could see he wasn't proud of it maybe if you managed to give him a little push he might apologize to your brother you were about to make a comment but someones ears must have been burning because your phone rang with MKs profile popping up.

Of course you answer the phone and noticed Macaque slightly leaning in you give him a small glare and he holds his hands up in surrender while mouthing 'cant help it' with a roll of your eyes you speak up "Hey Mk what's up?" After a little bit of chatting Mk asked if you'd like to join him with training.

Recently Mk's been trying to teach you basics of self defense Incase he's not around when you're in trouble you still haven't told him you've actually been training with his ex mentor ex enemy but to put him at ease you agreed often holding yourself back least he gets suspicious.

After saying yes and agreed he'll pick you up near the docks you put away your phone and hear Macaque scoff "Pretty sure the kid just wants to show off like his mentor" you rolled your eyes and stood up "Oh so like you too?" Macaque let out a dramatic gasp his hand clenching his chest in fake agony.

Saying your goodbyes you leave the dojo and started your journey to the docks leaving Macaque alone with his thoughts and...he tends to come up with funny little schemes when he's alone with his thoughts with a smirk he opens a portal underneath his feet and dropped in.

MK was already at the dock when you got there he smiled when he spotted you and waved "Hey I'm so happy you said yes!! You'll learn way more from Monkey king since he's like a better teacher than me hehe" Mk laughed rubbing the back of his hair.

"No problem but did you at least make sure to ask Monkey king if I could join? I don't want to drop in out of nowhere" Mk took out his staff ready to po-go travel you both "Yeah yeah I did actually he suggested it! Something about getting to used to eachothers fighting style or something"

You jumped on Mk back and held on as he started pogoing over the ocean honestly you wonder how he didn't get sick by doing this thankfully before you nearly lost your lunch Mk landed on a cliff that was near a little hut.

"I thought you'd have to go through a waterfall" Mk shrunk his staff and walked next to you "That's one way to come in but this entryway also has a seal it's just easier to land here po-go style"

Mk lead you to the front of the hut and then you could see Wukong the great sage underneath a tree eating a bunch of peach chips with crumbs covering his face and the top of his armor through mid bite he looks over at you two and smiled throwing the bag of chips behind him some little monkeys race to steal them.

"Hey bud! Looks like you got Mk 2.0 to join haven't seen you since the little after party" you deadpaned at the nickname "Yeah don't call me that please" Wukong shrugged "That's fair anyways why don't we warm up first before the training you know stretching and all that" Monkey king waved you two over to join him on the clearing.

"Sweet Lego!" Mk bounced over and you followed joining in on the stretches and warm-ups Wukong came over to help you adjust your posture but for a second he made a weird face somewhat annoyed and confused but he seemed to shake it off.

"Alllright so warm-ups done and- okay so uh kiddo" Wukong rubbed the bridge of his nose as he looks at you "I'm sorry but I can't focus with that...Stench Macaque what are you trying to pull now!??" Wukong growled while he seemed to stare at your shadow Mk jumped and stared at the same place.

"Awah you've gotten boring Wukong" a purple face appears in your shadow before Macaque rises up and smiled at his old old 'friend' Wukong's tail seems to flick on irritation.

"Whua!? What are you doing in their shadow huh!?" MK yelled pointing a finger at Macaque holding out his staff Wukong raises and eyebrow seemingly agreeing with those questions.

Macaque smiled and wrapped an arm around your shoulder and pulled you into a side hug "What I can't check in on MY own student? Especially if they're taking training lessons from you" MKs jaw dropped his eyes nearly jumping out of his skull as he slowly turned to stare at you.

"Um surprise?" You waved your hands with a nervous smile Wukong switches his gade from you to Macaque and over and over Mk managed to snap out of his shock "nuh uh no way I'm not gonna let you tick then like you did to me you jerk!" Wukong put his hand on MKs shoulder to stop him from storming over.

"Hold on Bud how's about I talk with Shadow guy for a bit while you chat with your sibling kay?" Mk thought for a moment and nodded Wukong smiled but immediately dropped it walking over and grabbed Macaque by the scarf and dragged him into his hut.

Mk then turned back to you hands on his hips you looked down not really knowing what to start this conversation with "So uh... you're having words with-" "OH WE ARE HAVING WORDS YOUNG ONE! ARE YOU SERIOUS-"

It took a long time especially since it seems Macaque and Wukong were also taking their time to 'chat' and it definitely took awhile to reassure Mk Macaque wasn't going to hurt you but it seems now everyone is all caught up and both Macaque and Wukong walked out of the hut.

Macaque sent a smile to you and looked to Mk gesturing him to follow while he walks into the cave Wukong gave Mk a nod and so he followed you were tempted to follow behind them but Wukong gently grabbed your shoulder "Give em a minute kid trust me"

Instead of just waiting around Wukong decided to see what Macaque taught you so far and had you fight a clone of him while he watches he made sure the clone holds back and about halfway through Mk and Macaque was back Mk ran to Wukong's side to cheer you on.

"Psh c'mon kid don't be scared to give him a good kick on the nose!" Macaque called out earning another glare from Monkey king.

#monkie kid #lmk platonic #lmk x reader #lego monkie kid x reader #monkie kid x reader

[suzy-queued]

Tag Game Wednesday

Thank you for the tags, @deedala @creepkinginc @energievie

1. if you could switch bodies with anybody for only one hour who would it be and what would you do? Ooh, can I go to the space station? I want to switch places with an astronaut. Preferably a man so I can try out a male body (for fic writing research).

2. whats your most trivial / dumbest hot take? That candy corns are the worrrrrsssstttt

3. if you had to teach a college course what would it be in? HTML and PHP coding. Website development in general.

4. season 12 of shameless is suddenly happen and you've been put in charge! what plot point(s) are you gonna make happen? I know people want Carl to run the bar, but I'd love to see Ian and Mickey run the Alibi. I want them to be the new anchor couple of the neighborhood and be the center of everyone's shenanigans.

5. who would be your godly parent? (can be any mythology). Loki. We'd have so much fun together.

6. what’s something you love about yourself? My adaptability to new situations.

7. describe your day in 5 emojis: 📧🐈🚘👨‍👩‍👧👩‍🍳

8. what shameless character do you think you could beat in a fight? Sammi. I'd trick her into making a mistake.

9. tell us 2 truths and a lie, we’ll try to guess the lie! - I was in a bus safety video filmed in the 80s. - I was on the TV show Dawson's Creek. - I was in the movie Evan Almighty.

10. do you have a pet(s). if so how did they get their name? Buttercup, who was named after Princess Buttercup from The Princess Bride. Shadow, who was named using a long whole-family voting process. Calypso, who was named for the god Calypso. Pogo, named after the character in The Umbrella Academy.

11. show us a meme (or picture) that captures your essence.

12. whats your typical coffee / tea / beverage order? Hot chai with oat milk

13. use a song to describe the last 5 years of your life? Things are Getting Better by N.E.R.D.

I'll tag ... @tsuga-of-mars @look-i-love-u @depressedstressedlemonzest @gembu-tortuesouscafeine @tanktopgallavich @francesrose3 @sweetbee78

#tag games #about me

[elnavegador]

My favorite Umbrella Academy WIPS ❤️

Lygerside Daydream

(Or the one about hallucinations and a life that never was)

Delores kisses his check. “I missed you.” 

Five smiles, taking her smooth hand between his calloused ones. “I never left.” 

The conversation dies around them and she laughs, melodic sound surrounding him, echoing like it shouldn’t.

“You always do.” 

—--------------------------------------

“Cinque, amore.” She says, wearing her favorite sunhat; the one she almost never uses in fear of wearing it out, the one with a mirriad of flowers that don’t match, the one with flowers he doesn’t remember the name of anymore.    

It’s only Delores and him, as it has been for a long time. It feels like forever, sometimes. 

Or: there’s something wrong, Five knows, he also knows he would do anything to keep Delores looking at him like that. 

—----------------------------------------

There’s this story he heard a long time ago; so long that details twist and shape into something new. There’s this story that changes in every iteration, but the end remains the same.  

“Do I know you?” She asks, tilting her head like a bird. “I feel like I know you.” 

There’s an answer trapped in his throat, between the larynx and the trachea. She keeps staring, eyes so dark he can't see the pupil and a smile pulling at the corners of her lips. The clock on the wall stops at seven.  

The scarf around her head is a nice shade of blue, it reminds Five of–of something; there’s a series of numbers written in chalk on the board, displacement equations she had been working on before he arrived, there’s a wrong decimal. The clock on the wall is stuck at seven.  

“I don’t think so.” He finally says. 

The smile widens and it should feel mocking, a threat, but instead it’s like coming home. Five smiles back.  

“Delores.” She says. He says. The clock ticks again and the room turns black. 

.

There’s something that is not quite a man at the bottom of the hill. Man-shaped, earth-teetered, unmoving with its gaze fixed in the gravel sky. Up, up, up where it can never reach, up where time is the same as it has always been. 

Its fingers twitch, once, two and thrice, its neck is sore, bruised in a way it doesn’t notice anymore. The gray shifts and time doesn’t forgive, so it takes one step after the other, feet rising from the broken concrete, heavy, breaking the vines threaded into its broken boots, life that clings, uncaring.

It keeps walking. 

Capgras Delusion

(or the one where Five returns earlier and tries to find a way to take his siblings from Reginald)

It's a hit or miss if the smoke will offer him comfort or send him into a panic attack, today it seems it's the first one and he exhales. 

"He's hurting them," Five says, relying on the script. It’s been two years, they always have this conversation and it always goes the same way. 

“Teaching them, Mister Five, powers like yours 

"You read the book." Vanya's book, he let him read it under Five's supervision. It's the only reason he hasn't tattled to Reginald. 

"I did, Mister Five and I still think that if we offer it to your father--" 

"No," he says and this is an usual argument, too "it's alright if you admire him, but don't be blind to the kind of man he is. He will push them harder and this time Ben won't be the only one to die." 

He wishes, not for the first time, that he had Allison's power. These inane conversations would be over, then. 

"How many of us have to die for you to realize?" Five says, getting off script. But he's tired "How much more suffering will be enough for you?" 

Pogo is frustrated, too and Five had been careful of pushing him too far all this time, but he can't sit idle anymore. Not when his siblings are crying every damn night for a man that doesn't give a fuck about them. 

He has plans already in case Pogo tattles. In case Reginald knows he's here. 

It would be easier if Pogo was on his side, yes, but he can work even if he doesn't.  Five can do it. He has to. 

"There's nothing I can do about it, I take care of the children, but--" 

"He already made Be–Six kill the rabbits, didn't he?"  

Pogo’s face falls and something twists inside Five. 

"I have a plan," Five says carefully.

Maggot Pie (heh)

The fucker left them a note in the fridge, which is more than he would’ve left a few months ago, but still–A. Fucking. Note.

If I don’t return at 9, assume I’m dead. (Or look for me, which amounts for the same with the kind of organization this family is capable of) — 5

And then a direction below.

It’s nine and a half already. There’s nobody else at the academy and Diego is only here because there wasn’t any orange juice left in his apartment and he was craving some. That he hasn’t been at the Academy in over a week and seen some of his siblings for longer is unrelated.

He pats his pockets and lets out a sigh of relief when he feels the little portatil phone, --smartphone, according to Luther’s lectures, who took with shiny eyes and disgusting ease the new technology of this timeline– it’s usually a roll of the dice if Diego will remember to take it with him, useful as it is, it’s matter entirely if it’s going to remain unbroken.

He calls Luther first, who the most likely to come back running at the first hint of danger, with the rest of them is a hit or miss. He answers after two rings.

“Return to the Academy now, there’s an emergency.”

He hangs up before Luther can respond.

The thing is–Five is usually good at knowing the kind of danger he will face when he goes out like this; sometimes he takes one of them, one or two times Luther or Viktor, usually Diego, because he’s out kicking ass anyway while the rest want to live peacefully, or as peaceful as a Hargreeves can get. And if he deemed his mission dangerous enough to leave them a direction and an hour–

When Diego finds him, he’s going to fucking kill him. He’s going to make him wish he died in his little errand.

He shakes his head, not useful right now. He’s certain Luther called Allison as soon as Diego hung* up, if he’s not with her already. He calls Viktor next.

“Come to the Academy. Five is missing.”

Then Klaus and it’s actually a miracle when he actually responds.

“Return to the Academy or I will burn your clothes.”

He hangs up before his shierk can leave him deaf. Sometimes different measures must be taken to make them do shit. It’s like herding cats. It’s not that they wouldn’t come for Five, but they do overestimate his capabilities.

Diego, as the one that goes the most with him on these missions to thwart the Commission’s efforts to ‘correct’ the timeline, is intimately aware that he’s far from indestructible, as much as he likes to pretend otherwise.

And, boy, how he likes to pretend.

In between maps of probabilities that make sense to nobody but him and single-minded [...] to razor to the ground his former employers, they’ve been worried about him, or rather, they’ve been worried about how his new obsession could come back to bite them in the ass.

It’s an uncharitable thought, but it’s an uncharitable world and all the Hargreeves are selfish at heart.

For what is worth, Five tried to relax the first days, weeks even, after they arrived to the new 2019, Diego knows, he went out to do who knows what in hilarious grandpa clothes nobody dared to make fun of in fear of him going back to the uniform; he hung out with Klaus, the two of them disappearing for days at time, returning suspiciously giggly, but there was no way Diego was poking at that within a ten foot pole*; he stayed sometimes in Viktor’s apartment and the two little [rascals] were actually getting along again.

And then he holed himself up in his room for three days straight and when he came out it was with the intense look he had when he first arrived at the funeral talking about the future.

He even put on a suit and everything.

There is no way Diego is telling him this, but he misses his little grandpa outfits and his easier smiles and the way he actually talked to them.

Now there’s a note Diego stumbled across on pure chance and him going alone on a mission he was clearly reluctant to go when he could have taken Diego with him. The fucker didn’t even bother

He glances at the clock. Nine and forty.

His leg is bouncing and he considers for a second going to the address alone–but that is the kind of shit that got them in this situation, if Five had just called him, then maybe–

Diego glares at the note with Five’s stupid neat handwriting.

Infections of a different kind

(Which is already posted, but I'm having trouble with) (In this one Five returns earlier too, but commits the mistake of telling his siblings and Reginald about the apocalypse)

Diego wasn’t close to Five, most of them weren’t, not really, that doesn’t mean that his absence didn’t hit them all. It was in the holes in their    and plates of food Mom kept putting for him before Pogo told (programed) her not to. 

But he returned and they haven't been allowed to see him for a week. 

It’s bullshit, it’s what it is. 

“Mom,” he says when she’s putting the covers over him. 

Some of his siblings don’t want Mom to tuck them goodnight anymore, but fuck them. 

“Yes, dear?” 

“Why can’t we see Five?” 

She stops for a few seconds, before smiling in “He’s in a very delicate state, it’s important that he gets to rest undisturbed.” 

Diego thinks about that for a second, “we can be quiet.” 

“I know you can, sweetheart, but your Father prefers that he heals alone. You know he likes to be cautious.” 

He scowls, that’s a way to put it, but something about this smells bad. 

Diego doesn't know why he pictured him drinking with his father and talking about how bothersome kids are. 

He looked rather pathetic the last time they saw him. Really fucked up, he wasn’t even aware a person could be that thin and sickly and still resemble his smug brother, that is less smug and more sad. 

And that’s it: Five looks really sad. 

Mom cut some of his beard and washed him, so he looks less like a homeless person, but he’s still hard to look at.    and he will never be able to forget his scream, even if he was several rooms apart. 

He wants to hit and rip apart something, what the fuck happened to him? He said something about the end of the world and called out for someone called Delores, did someone have him captive or something? 

And what are they supposed to do about it when it all happens in the future? 

Five isn’t supposed to look like that, he’s supposed to be smug and insufferable. He was his asshol-ish self that first day and okay, the crying and laughing were creepy, but he was getting there again the more time he spended in the infirmary. 

But now they moved him out and they haven’t been allowed to see him. Which is utter bull-shit and if Dad thinks he’s going to obey that, he’s got another thing coming for him.    

He’s in a room nobody uses, which doesn’t tell him much, considering they use just about a third of them, that’s his intel from the spyed conversations between Pogo and Mom. 

“Where are we going?” 

Diego doesn’t jump, but he hits his shoulder on the wall anyway.  

He glares at Klaus, “you are not going anywhere.” 

#the umbrella academy #tua #fanfiction #tua fanfic #number five #five hargreeves #diego hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #Delores #wip #me #yes. these are Will wood songs #his chaos goes well with tua

[divinemissem13]

30 Days of Prodigy: Day 8 - Vau N'akat

And now back to your regularly scheduled ficlet....

In the secluded field behind his house, the young man trained in secret. ‘Young man’ may have been generous - he was only 12 - but he was old enough to sense the rising unrest in the city, even if he wasn’t old enough to be taught how to fight. Ever since that Federation starship had appeared in the sky above Solum, tensions had been high. He heard his parents talking after they thought he was in bed. His mother thought that the Vau N’akat should join the Federation and explore the galaxy. His father thought they didn’t need the Federation or any other ‘primitive’ civilization to drag them down. 

The young man wanted to explore. And he wanted to be able to fight for his right to do so. 

Fretwork shot from his arm and then collapsed onto the ground for the umpteenth time and the young man cried out in frustration. This would be so much easier if he could ask his father for help. But then, his father would not approve of what he was fighting for. Better to continue on his own. 

He set his hand flat on the ground and the fretwork easily climbed up his arm as it did every day. He couldn’t understand why it responded so easily to some commands and yet refused to respond to others. Almost like it had a mind of its own… of course it didn’t. He knew this because as a young boy, his favorite thing to do had been to watch the metalsmith craft fretwork from shapeless pools of gold and silver.

The young man assumed his fighting stance once again. His deep concentration showed in the furrow of his brow as he sent a command to the fretwork to turn into a sword. 

Again, it shot forward and immediately collapsed. 

“You’re working too hard.” 

Startled by his mother’s voice behind him, the young man nearly tripped over his pile of fretwork as he turned toward her to accept his fate. At the very least, he would be grounded for sure.

But his mother surprised him again when she laid a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it encouragingly. 

“You can’t demand that the fretwork turn into something,” she explained. “Just like when it becomes a racquet or a pogo stick, just think about what you want to do with it. The fretwork will take the shape that best helps you achieve your goal.” She turned him back toward his fretwork still lying in a jumble on the ground. “Go ahead, try again,” she said as she gently nudged him forward.

He began to strike his pose again but the sound of his mother clearing her throat reminded him to relax. He closed his eyes and stood with both arms at his sides and he could see himself in his mind’s eye, clashing swords with his enemies in battle. 

In one fluid motion, he opened his eyes, shifted his weight, and raised his arm and to his surprise and delight, a sword emerged from the fretwork. He slashed the air once, twice, before it gave out and collapsed again onto the ground. 

The young man turned back to his mother, beaming with pride. 

“Very good,” she said with a smile. “Keep practicing and then someday, when you’re old enough, I’ll even teach you how to use it. Now, come wash up, it’s time for dinner.”

As she walked back toward the house, the mother said a silent, desperate prayer that her son would have the luxury of ‘someday’ before his sword skills would be needed.

#the timeline works out that this could be the Diviner but I wasn't specifically thinking of him when I wrote it #vau n'akat #fretwork #star trek prodigy #save star trek prodigy #savestartrekprodigy #i wrote this #fanfic #30daysofprodigy #ficlet

[annabethwarriorprincess]

Can you rank the grandchildren from oldest to youngest?

Harlen- 23

Claire- 22

Bella&Donna - 20

Allegra Grace - 19

Benji - Forever 17

Karma - 16

Stan - 12

And Baby Billy who's a Newborn

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Claire spent a few months accidentally shifting reality, seemingly at random, before she finally recognized her Trigger Words.

"I Don't Believe That"

Then she said "I Don't Believe That There's No one who can teach me how to use my Powers" and found herself in an entirely new reality.

One wherein both her parents had died, and after her father's family found her powers to difficult to deal with, they had sent her to live with Reginald.

But also Grandma Grace, and Uncles Pogo and Luther.

Claire made the Strategic Choice to stay in this reality and allow Grandpa Reggie to train her to use her powers.

But inevitably, Reginalds Abuse became too much for her, and she said "I Don't Believe That You Are My Only Family"

And found herself in Allegra Graces apocalyptic Reality.

Allegra had a fairly Idlyic childhood, for a Sharkgirl. Diego and Eudora were the world's favorite SuperCouple, and Allegra was like Superhero Royalty.

Until her Parents were killed by a Supervillian *cough*Leonard*cough* bent on ending the world by detonating a well planted bomb that would to kick off WW3.

With This Reality on the brink of Nuclear Armageddon, Claire grabbed her cousin and bounced into the Next Reality in search of more family.

They bounced through three alternate versions of the Dallas Timeline, finding Bella, Donna, and Benji along the way.

They then landed in the fourth(mostly canon compliant) version of the Dallas Timeline and before they could find Karma, Harlen found Them.

Part of Harlens power is a sort of Psychic Ability to locate people who have powers like him. In the years since the Hargreeves left, the only other person like Him that he Felt was Karma.

He kept a Psychic Eye on her through her childhood, and a few months before her 16th birthday he had a Sense that she was in Danger.

So he tracked her down, and joined Destinys Children to be close enough to protect her from Whatever the danger he Felt was.

The thing is, although Most of Destinys Children are good hearted and wholesomely spiritual, there is a small faction who have darker intentions.

When Karmas powers first presented These People saw it as some kind of Dark Omen or something?

Jill did her best to keep These Types away from her kid, but the older Karma got, the more Powerful be Became, the harder it was to deny that the Messiah was her Father.

Destinys Children decided to Name Karma the New Messiah on the 16th birthday, had a whole ritualistic party planned. Jill didn't like any of This and had her own plan to take her kid and leave.

The Dark Faction figured out what Jill was planning and decided to Kill Her before she could take Karma from them.

So Jill was Murdered. Her Afterlife took the form of a Dennys Parking Lot at 3am where she fistfought God Herself for the right to return to the land of the Living.

God: No Wonder Those Hargreeves Brothers Like You So Much. *happily sends Jill back, but Damns her just a little, making her a Vampire*

So on Karmas 16th birthday her Undead Mother clawed her way out of a Shallow Grave and made her way across the Destinys Children Compound, slaughtering anyone and everyone who got in her way.

Harlen Heard the chaos and brought Karma to a safe room to protect her. When Jill burst in she went straight for Harlens Throat. Karma recognized her Mom and jumped in front of Harlen to reassure Jill that He wasn't a Threat.

Jill accidentally Bit Karma. Just a little Bite. But now they're a badass Mother Daughter Vampire Duo. Harlen is their Emotional Support Human.

When Claire &Co. Land in this reality, Jill happily adopts her Alternate Reality Children and Nieces. They're a Happy Family, for a While.

Then Benji dies as the prophecy stated he would. Claire and Karma combine their powers to bring him back just enough for Mama Jill to Vamperize Him.

The family tries to settle back in but there's a palpable tension. This Reality no longer feels Safe.

Watching her cousins with their Mother starts to eat away at Claire, and she proposes one last* shift, into whatever Reality her Mother and her siblings went after Dallas.

She convinces her family that she can give them everything that's still missing from their lives. Her cousins can all get their parents back.

Harlen can reunite with V.

Jill can actually meet Ben for real. (And maybe have a Threesome with him and Klaus?)

They can kick Grandpa Reggies Ass.

The family agree to go for it.

Of course it's not as easy as Claire made it out to be, and they have to hop through several realities before they find the right one.

In one of these Realities they meet Stan, Klaus Son. Stan had a really good life and Klaus was a Really Good Dad, but had recently reunited with his Siblings to try and Stop the Apocalypse.

They Failed and Stan was left alone in an empty Acadmey riding out the Apocalypse with only a partially functioning Robot Grace for company.

Jill: *free real estate voice* it's a free son.

Stan: I just want my Dad.

Claire: can I interest you in an Alternate Reality Version of Your Dad?

Stan: ...yeah that'll work.

Their next jump brings them into the a Kugelblitz free version Sparrow Reality. They do the math and decide a timeline where the majority of their parents are alive and there Isn't an impending Apocalypse is the best they can hope for and decide to stay.

Harlen and Viktor and Claire and Allison reunite. Allegra gets to know this version of her Dad, Lila excitedly declares herself Stepmom. Klaus dives headfirst into being a Dad for Karma and Stan.

Jill and Sparrow Ben fall passionately in love and make baby Billy, much to their older children's embarrassment.

Luther and Five along with the Sparrows compete for the Title of Coolest Aunt/Uncle.

Reginald keeps quiet for while and lets the family settle in. But eventually he starts making moves to start up his Abusive "Training" with the Kids. The Kids know better and decide to make His Life a Living Hell.

#the umbrella academy #tua au #au outline #tua next gen #tua season 4: grandchildrens revenge #hargreeves au #hargreeves fam

[insert-inconspicuous-name-here]

Before I start my first re-watch of TUA 3 I want to organize myself: [spoilers]

Starting from what I recall my first feelings were: loved the fighting scene with the Sparrows. While watching it I kept remembering how a lot of people, me included, thought it was funny how the Brellies were kicking ass at the trailer while the Sparrows were being bullies on Twitter. LOL. Well, one of the funniest sentences was "they must be exhausted after kicking our asses" or something like that, i haven't memorized it yet. Beautiful.

Luther fell at first sight, and so did Sloane and I loved the Stockholm thing (not the actual Stockholm thing obv). Viktor threatening Marcus got me all hot and bothered. Fei had eyes everywhere, which is such a badass move to go with her entire wardrobe. Jayme is a snake and I fucking love snakes. Alphonso was such a hoot, "punch me in the face" - hilarious.

Then we entered the second episode and there's where things started to get a little darker. Majorly because of Allison. Trauma, PTSD, panic attacks? We're going deeper into the darkness here and I getting worried for my girl. Viktor coming out had me in tears. Five thinking he could finally relax and retire? Yeah, no. I feel so bad for him. Klaus figuring out his momma died. Five singing along the radio and having to stop because the cows turned to dust, godammit.

I wanna talk about Ben. "Why do they keep looking at me like that?" Like what, sweetie? Like they love you? Yeah. I'm looking at you like that too. It was like he kept getting pissed about their attitude because they just showed love for him, but it wasn't even for him "him", it was the other Ben, but they could totally still learn how to love this Ben too. Klaus was working himself up to it, and we see that from Ben's expression when Reggie says Klaus "didn't make it". This Ben was a major asshole, but when they didn't invite him to the bachelor party? I felt that. And personally, i didn't think he was that unlikable to be excluded from the party. Oh, and i totally taught he was going to die on the last episode.

Reginald fucking Hargreeves. This (bad connotation) snake. I didn't believe the "pilled" Daddy until Pogo showed up. That's also when I confirmed my paradoxal concerns, that Klaus fucked up big time teaching him how to cheat on his meds and trusting this "nice old innocent shit face" facade. It was obvious he was playing each and every one of them by emotion with deep manipulation and acting. He went very far for this and I'm not even sure what it is. But I wavered at the wedding, when he was all alone and shit. But then Five saw him making a deal and I came back from that emotional place.

I've spent too long on this (I had to stop and come back a few times). Completely lost my points. I need a complete solo post for Allison.

#the umbrella academy #the umbrella academy spoilers #tua s3 #tua s3 spoilers

[lizzymayi]

Umbrella Academy rewatch

Ep 1-1

I really want to know what happened to this cute couple at the pool who got the shock of their fucking lives. How did the baby come out if her suit was still on? lmao

Every time I watch, I'm like, "Why is the phantom playing?" And this time is no different.

The intros are so well done. Really captures the characters and my attention. Love the portraits of the kids with their masks on. Just adds to the weirdness.

Luther came back to the house ahead of Viktor (who lives in the same city) and he was on the MOON. Hahahahaha

Allison is such a mom. Scolds when necessary, but accepts her family as they are. Sticks up for whoever needs it.

Klaus' contribution to the apocalypse: theft

It's not just bowing to dad's authority for Luther. The way he talks about Reggie in ep 1, it's like he had like some serious hero worship of a sorts for his dad. Which makes complete sense.

Poor little Ben :( He doesn't like to do that.

I love that the show retained its comic book vibe even if they made changes.

How much of Klaus trying to conjure Papa Reg was improvised? I'm guessing a lot. I love it.

Those illustrations teaching kids how to fight!!! I want them!!

Diego's defining trait so far: ANGER (with a healthy side of resentment). He is the personification of lashing out.

still love the dance scene. it's awesome. I LOVE IT.

Why is their kitchen so old and rundown and in the basement of some kind? They live in a giant mansion owned by a Billionaire.

FIIIIIIIIVEEEEE. It's still amazing to see little Aidan Gallagher (and man, he is so tiny) playing the irascible old fart that is Five. "Shit."

When Five says, "There's worse things that could happen." I think it's weird that Viktor replies with Ben. It's like a textbook opening to probe Five for more information but Viktor diverts to Ben.

Reggie made all of them the way they are, not just Pogo.

Two men in pain unable to handle their emotions try to punch it out. How else could it end but in disaster?

Everybody treating Five like he's still a kid. Apparently, old man Five's attitude isn't all that different from kid Five.

Out of nowhere, Five just massacres a bunch of armed assassins. Cuts the tracking device out of his arm. Walks out like nothing happened. Then announces the end of the world in 8 days. What a badass.

#tua rewatch #i'm readying myself for next week #the umbrella academy

[self-proclaimed-chaotic-good]

Saudade and Salsa | Diego Hargreeves x Reader

Prompt: Time

Words: 1263

Fandom: The Umbrella Academy

Summary: Your plans for a wedding were interrupted by Diego's adoptive father passing away and the two of you travel back to the Umbrella Academy where you meet his siblings for the first time. While they welcome you to their home, you were still an outsider discovering pieces of their broken family.

Continuation of [Weddings and Funerals].

-

Allison had gone off to do her own thing for a while, which left you and Vanya to your own devices. The two of you went into the library room to talk, but once there, Vanya couldn’t help but gravitate towards the bookshelf. You stood in front of the portrait of Five, as Diego had called him. The sibling that went missing.

“This is a big house,” you commented.

Vanya looked away from the shelf briefly and chuckled. “Yeah. Can you believe it? Our dad bought a bunch of buildings and mashed them into one whole place and converted it into this.” They waved a book at their surroundings.

“It’s crazy… not a place to bring your friends over, I imagine.”

They shook their head. “No. Not many opportunities to make friends outside of here, either. Especially when you’re siblings with them.”

You followed Vanya’s line of sight and saw the portrait with all the members of the Umbrella Academy. “No. I guess not. Diego said he left when he was eighteen. You as well?” You were tempted to sit on one of the sofas, but didn’t want to get too comfortable.

“Well, everyone wanted to leave this place as soon as possible, so… I guess we all left one by one.” They ran a finger along the spines of the books before stopping on a particular one. “Where did you and Diego meet?”

“At the gym that he works at. I was learning mixed martial arts at the time and the trainer had told Diego to spar with me. When I knocked him down, he asked me out.”

“That’s really cute,” Vanya said with a genuine smile. “You two look really cute together. I mean, I’m happy for you guys, just, you know, never thought Diego would… or well, anyone really-”

“Deal with his assholery. Yeah, I must be lucky.”

A laugh escaped their mouth. “Yeah… Diego wasn’t always like that, though.”

You nodded. “So I’ve heard.” And read, you wanted to add. “I can’t wait to hear of any embarrassing stories of young Diego.”

“You’d have to ask the others. We didn't normally… hang out together once we got older. They were busy, you know.”

“Yeah,” you said with a nod, knowing exactly what they meant. “I would say it’s hard to think that the man that almost burned down my kitchen after teaching me ballroom dancing was a crime fighting kid, but he still is.”

Vanya laughed, covering their face with a book. “Wait until he hears you.”

You shrugged it off. “Nah, he’ll be fine.”

“Welcome home, Vanya,” Pogo said, making the both of you turn.

Vanya smiled. “Pogo,” they said with relief, hugging him.

You smiled at their warm display of affection, yet it felt like you were intruding in their family reunion. You weren’t feeling it earlier, but learning more about this family and actually meeting them in person, there was more hidden under the surface that you had no business knowing.

“It’s good to see you.” He looked down at their hand. “Ah, yes, your autobiography.”

Vanya pursed their lips, lowering their head. “Do you know, um, did he ever read it?”

Pogo hummed, then shook his head. “No, not that I’m aware of.”

There was a defeated and tired look that settled across Vanya’s face. As if they were expecting as much. You wanted to open your mouth and say that you had read it, that you understood where they were coming from, but you didn’t. It wasn’t your place and you weren’t the one that they needed to hear those words from. No, that person was gone and made into ash.

You left them to catch up, making your way back upstairs where Grace was sitting, surrounded by paintings. She had a piece of fabric and a threaded embroidery needle in her hand, but she did not move. Those bright eyes that you saw when you were first introduced to her and dulled, as if frozen on a sullen thought.

When you stood next to her seat, she looked up and smiled. “Hello, my dear. How can I help you?”

You weren’t sure whether to tell Diego your concerns or not, knowing how close he was with his mother. He said that it was one of the very few things that were good in that academy. On one hand, he could help find out what’s wrong with her, but on the other hand, he might be in denial that there was anything to fix.

“Can I sit here for a while?” you asked, pointing at the seat behind her.

“Be my guest.”

-

“So, that was interesting,” you said cheerfully, having resumed lounging on the couch with Diego’s head on your lap after meeting his siblings.

He grunted. You could tell that his mind was preoccupied, his fingers twirling a small dagger around like it was natural. You didn’t mind the knives much, only when he ruined the furniture with them.

You sighed, running a hand through his hair. His fiddling stopped as his eyes closed, his head leaning into your hand.

Music began to flow throughout the house, making Diego’s eyes shoot open. He flung the dagger across the room, landing it right on the moose head hanging above. He gave you a smirk, kicking himself up and hurried over to close the doors. Before the doors shut, he could see Vanya stepping down from the stairs to stand in the middle of the foyer. The corner of lips almost turned up until he remembered what they did. Some things weren’t forgiven so easily just because of a moment of nostalgia.

Diego spun on his heels and held a hand out to you.

“What are you doing?” you asked with a smile, taking his hand tentatively.

He shimmied his shoulders playfully before spinning you around. His hands firmly pulled you against him as he swayed to the upbeat music. “First dance for our wedding?” he said.

“I’ve accepted the fact that nothing was going to be normal when I started dating you.”

“Less talking and more dancing!”

You giggled, spinning out with your hand outstretched. He tugs on your hand and you spin back into his arms before doing his own spin. As he wrapped his arms around you, he suddenly dipped you low, his face inches from yours. With a cheeky grin, he leans down to capture your lips until-

A loud rumble rattled through the mansion, flickering lights as the wind picked up outside. Diego’s grip on you slacked, leaving you to use the carpet to break your descent. You grunted, feeling Diego lift you by the arms before running outside.

You ran out after him, seeing his siblings already gathered at the courtyard. A mysterious anomaly appeared in midair, some kind of vortex or portal with an old man trying to push through. Luther stood in front of everyone, holding them back as he inched forward. Diego pushed you behind him and you immediately held his shoulders as you watched the old man break through and fall to the cold ground of the courtyard looking much younger and more recognizable.

“Does anyone else see little number Five standing there, or is it just me?” Klaus asked, hoping that he wasn’t seeing another sibling as a ghost.

The young boy dusted himself off and regarded the group in front of him. There was no mistaking who he was, the missing brother, Five. He looked down at his oversized clothing, then back at his siblings with a frown.

“Shit.”

Talk about perfect timing.

#diego hargreeves x reader #diego hargreeves #tua #tua imagine #the umbrella academy imagine

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

Okay but like I feel like Diego is the kind of person to flirt with really bad pick-up lines and Klaus is just Not Having It

featuring: Diego being a flustered Mama's boy and Klaus being a disaster dumbass and the two of them being completely in love with each other anyway

DISCLAIMER: None of the pick-up lines are mine, but the responses and ensuing shenanigans are :)

(there's fifty of these so buckle up kids :) sorry not sorry <3)

seriously though some of these are really bad

#1: He A Snack

Diego: Baby, you belong in the vending machine because you’re a snack.

Klaus: Diego you know I’m claustrophobic.

Diego: Don’t you mean Klaus-trophobic??? *finger guns*

Klaus: *blinks*

Klaus: I want a divorce.

#2: I’m From Hell

Diego: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

Klaus: I’m a veteran addict and abuse victim who can see ghosts, Diego.

Klaus: Everything hurts.

#3: Animal Puns

Diego: *points to TV screen playing the Discovery Channel* Hey Klaus.

Diego: You’re my otter half.

Klaus: Diego those are meerkats.

#4: Stars

Diego: The stars are beautiful tonight.

Klaus: Yup.

Diego: You know who else is beautiful?

Klaus: Ben.

#5: Get Out Your Handcuffs Mister

Diego: You’re under arrest… for stealing my heart.

Klaus: Diego you got kicked out of the police academy like five years ago, just give up.

#6: Bad Boys

Diego: *leaning against the doorframe like a moron* So. I hear you like bad boys.

Klaus: Diego you cried because you accidentally stepped on a bee last week.

Diego: Well yeah but -

Klaus: You held a funeral for it. You made us all speak. You had Allison fly in from California. It was a fucking bee, Diego.

Diego: … I wear leather?

Klaus: So does every other kid who shops at Hot Topic. You’re not special.

#7: Prince Charming

Diego: Your knight in shining armor is here -

Klaus: One, that’s a turtleneck, not armor.

Klaus: Two, you’re covered in blood. That’s the opposite of shiny.

Klaus: Three, you smell like dead fish. Go take a shower.

#8: Chemistry

Diego: Did we have a class together? Because I could’ve sworn we had -

Klaus: Chemistry? Yup. Also English and math and foreign languages and history and like every other fucking thing because we grew up in the same sadistic boarding school, Diego.

#9: The Store Can’t Just Give Away Things For Free. That’s A Terrible Way To Run A Business.

Diego: I like your pants.

Klaus: Thanks. I got them out of a dumpster. And yes, you can have them 100% off.

Diego: *voice cracks* Really?

Klaus: No.

#10: Boyfriend Material

Diego: My jeans are made of -

Klaus: You’re wearing leather pants Diego.

Diego: Okay but -

Klaus: So they’re made of leather and they’re not fucking jeans.

#11: Digits

Diego: I lost my phone number. Can I have -

Klaus: None of us have phones, Diego.

Diego: I can… buy us some?

Klaus: Fine. I want my number to be 1-420-420-4201.

Diego: Baby no.

Klaus: *pulling out the puppy dog eyes* Pwetty pwease?

Diego: Fine, but mine’s gonna be 1-696-969-6969.

Klaus: I love you so much. Marry me. Have my babies.

#12: Love At First Sight

Diego: Do you believe in love at first sight or -

Klaus: If I did I’d have already fallen in love with a lot of hot ghosts.

Diego: - should I walk by again?

Klaus: You’ve been pacing for the past ten minutes, Gogo. I think if it was gonna happen it would’ve by now.

#13: You Have Fine Written All Over You

Diego: Are you a parking ticket? Cause -

Klaus: Diego I can’t drive.

#14: His Eyes Are Green Not Blue You Dipshit

Diego: Your eyes are an ocean, and I’m lost at sea.

Klaus: ... can’t you, like, hold your breath forever?

Diego: *blinks* Baby, I love you, but you’re ruining this with our childhood trauma.

Klaus: Well since you’ve refused therapy I just thought this was the next best option.

Diego: I take back what I said about loving you.

#15: Math Is Dumb And I Wish School Would Stop Teaching It

Diego: Are you a forty-five degree angle?

Klaus: Actually, because humans have non-linear body shapes, it’s impossible for their specific angles to be measured -

Diego: Are you high or have you been defiling Five’s books again?

Klaus: *blinks* Why can’t it be both?

Diego: *rethinking life decisions*

#16: Baby I’m All Yours

Diego: Do you have a name?

Klaus: Klaus.

Diego: Or can I call you mine?

Klaus: I mean I prefer “baby”, but sure.

Diego: *super wide eyes* Really?

Klaus: *melts into a puddle of glitter* Yeah, Gogo.

#17: (Not) Bookworms

Diego: Thank god I brought my library card. Cause I’m here to check you out.

Klaus: *through a mouthful of waffles* God isn’t real. We all die and rot beneath the earth to be eaten by maggots. There is no such thing as a higher power.

Klaus: *swallows waffles and takes a really loud slurp of an orange juice and chocolate milk combo*

Klaus: Oh, and the library’s closed for renovations til, like, Christmas so you’re outta luck, sorry.

Diego: I thought you met god? Little girl on a bicycle?

Klaus: Her? Nah, only Satan’s got that much sass. Plus, that wasn’t heaven.

Diego: And you know this how?

Klaus: *squishes Diego’s face with both hands* Think about it. Do you really think dear ol’ dad’s in heaven?

Diego: Can you let of my face please?

#18: Bad Move, Buddy

Diego: Are you a pre-historic fossil? Cause you’re my missing link.

Klaus:

Klaus:

Klaus:

Klaus: Did you just call me old?

Diego, backing out of the room slowly: What? No! No of course not! No, obviously no, absolutely not -

Klaus: *releases savage war cry*

Diego: *runs for his goddamn life*

#19: I Rate This 0/10

Diego: Are you from Tennessee? Cause you’re the only -

Klaus: I don’t know where I’m from. I’m an orphan.

Diego: Oh… I know, baby -

Klaus: And the piece of shit that adopted me lived in New York anyway. We’re in New York right now actually. Do you need a geography lesson? I think Pogo’s got a map -

Diego: Klaus.

#20: Oh Shit

Diego: If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Klaus:

Klaus:

Klaus:

Klaus: *tears up* I’m nothing?

Diego: Oh no. No no no. No, baby, you’re not nothing, don’t cry, I’m so sorry, that’s not what I meant, baby - oh my god please don’t cry -

#21: You’ve Got Everything I’m Searching For

Diego: Is your name Google? Because -

Klaus: Diego. For the last time…

Klaus: My name is Kimberly Linda Aerealia Ulysses Saffron Hargreeves the Twenty-Fourth. I don’t know why I need to keep explaining this to you -

Diego, kissing him quiet: You’re my favorite person in the world, you know that?

#22: Don’t Make Bets You’ll Lose, Luther.

Diego: Luther bet me a hundred bucks I couldn’t talk to the prettiest person here. How do you wanna spend his money?

Klaus: Drugs.

Diego: Baby -

Klaus: *beams* Nah, I’m just kidding. Stuffed giraffes.

Diego: *grins* For Five?

Klaus: *nods* For Five.

Diego:

Klaus:

Diego: He’ll hate them.

Klaus: Exactly. Let’s go.

#23: Deja Vu

Diego: Have we met before?

Klaus: Yes. Obviously. Are you also high?

Diego: No -

Diego: Wait, you’re high?

Klaus:

Diego:

Klaus:

Diego:

Klaus: No?

#24: Such An Optimist

Diego: Are you a time traveller?

Klaus: No, that’s Five.

Diego: Cause I think you’re my future!

Klaus: *stares blankly*

Diego: No? Nothing? Nada?

Klaus: In the future we’re all dead dipshit.

Klaus: Because. Ya know.

Klaus: THERE’S A FUCKING APOCALYPSE COMING.

Diego:

Diego: Okay then.

#25: Please Go To The Hospital.

Diego: Are you my appendix? Cause my stomach’s fluttering and I think I should take you out.

Klaus:

Klaus: Did you drink water from the fish tank again?

Diego: *turning green* Luther dared me to okay???!!!!

#26: Suicidal Tendencies

Diego: Hey gorgeous -

Klaus: Let me guess. I should drop dead?

Diego: What?! No! Baby -

#27: Infinitely On The Naughty List (And Not The Good Kind Of Naughty List (If There Is One I’m Asexual I Don’t Know))

Diego: Are you Santa Klaus? Cause you make all my wishes come true.

Klaus:

Klaus:

Klaus:

Klaus: You have five seconds to run.

Diego: *already two streets away* Fucking shit -

#28: You Can’t Use That Every Time We Have An Argument, Tony.

Diego: Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist right?

Klaus: I mean, there’s one in the corner of our living room right now, so I guess?

Diego:

Diego:

Diego:

Diego: *squeaks* You - you can see dinosaur ghosts?

Klaus: I mean, there’s a chance that thing Ben’s petting is just a super deformed ostrich, but yeah, I think so.

Diego:

Diego:

Diego:

Diego: *tearing up* That’s so cool.

#29: A Whole New Kind Of Thirst Trap

Diego: I’m thirsty. But guess whose body is 75% water?

Diego: *smirks*

Klaus: *frowns*

Klaus: Hold on, I know this one…

Diego: Klaus -

Klaus: *snaps fingers* Oh, I know! Luther!

Diego: *horrified* What the fuck Klaus why the fuck would you say that -

#30: What A Tragedy

Diego: You must be a campfire. Because you’re super hot and I want s’more.

Klaus:

Klaus: Diego sweetheart, you’re allergic to marshmallows.

Diego: *tearing up* I know.

Klaus: You wanna hug, baby?

Diego: *crying* Yes please.

#31: That Can’t Be Allowed

Diego: Don’t tell me if you want me to take you out to dinner. Just smile for yes, or do a backflip/somersault/counter-spin gymnastics combination for no.

Klaus: *smirks*

Klaus: *does a triple flip and lands perfectly on the top of the bar counter*

Diego: *turns bright red* That was h-h-hot.

Klaus: *beams and jumps down into Diego’s arms bridal-style*

Klaus: *kisses his cheek* I know, baby.

#32: Merry Christmas

Diego: You’re the reason Santa started the Naughty List.

Klaus: *blinks*

Klaus: *pouts*

Klaus: No fair! He told me last week I was on the Nice List!

Diego: What? Klaus? What does that -

Diego: OH MY GOD KLAUS IS SANTA DEAD???!!!!

#33: I’ll Keep You Safe, Honey.

Diego: I lost my teddy bear. Will you sleep with me instead?

Klaus: *pulls out a stuffed tiger*

Klaus: He got lost in the kitchen. Don’t worry, I rescued him for you.

Diego: *takes soft tiger*

Diego: *voice cracks* Oh. Thanks.

Klaus: *kisses his forehead* You’re welcome, baby.

#34: Excuse Me?

Diego: The only thing your eyes haven’t told me is your name.

Klaus, internally: Shit. What if he finds out I stole like five of his knives and all of the cookies last week?

Klaus, externally: *blinks*

Klaus: Um… Stefonopolis?

#35: I Am Not Apologizing For This One

Diego: If you were a steak, you’d be well done.

Klaus: But I’m so unique…

Klaus: I talk to the dead, Diego.

Diego: Okay…?

Klaus: *smirks*

Klaus: So wouldn’t I be medium rare?

Ben: Ooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

#36: Leonardo Da Vinci Was Arrested Multiple Times For Homosexual Activity.

Diego: Is this a museum? Cause you’re a work of art.

Klaus: *dancing to the soundtrack of High School Musical 3* Actually Five took me back to Italy once. Leonardo da Vinci and I had some fun.

Diego:

Diego: Oh my god. Seriously?

Diego: *looks up picture of Mona Lisa, now titled Mona Klausa*

Diego: How the fuck -

#37: Why Would You Say That Though

Diego: Am I sleepwalking? Cause I’ve only seen you in my dreams.

Klaus: *sitting on the counter and eating a donut in one bite* Are they dirty?

Luther: *chokes on a pickle*

Diego: Oh my god no -

Diego: Well sometimes -

Diego: I mean no of course not -

Luther: *praying to whoever’s up there to just kill him already*

#38: Be Safe Kids!

Diego: Can you hold this for me?

Klaus: Sweetie, you need to wash your hands.

#39: Apocalypse Averted!

Diego: If looks could kill, you’d be a weapon of mass destruction.

Klaus: *blinks*

Klaus: I thought that was Vanya.

Diego:

Diego, panicking: Holy shit Klaus you can’t just say things like that -

Vanya: *crying from laughter*

#40: Attractive

Diego: Do you swallow magnets? Because you’re -

Klaus: *shoves him up against the wall*

Klaus: How did you find out? Who told you? Was it Ben? I swear to god I’ll kill him -

Diego: *squeaks* What?

#41: First You’ve Gotta Propose Diego

Diego: Wouldn’t we look cute on a wedding cake together?

Klaus: Diego. Did you buy me a cake?

Diego:

Klaus:

Diego:

Klaus: I’m waiting.

Diego: Right sir yes sir right away sir -

#42: He May Not Be A Kitten But He Is As Soft As One

Diego: If I followed you home, would you keep me?

Klaus: I’m homeless, Diego.

Diego: What? You are? Oh no, baby - you can come stay with me?

Klaus: *looks up from Disney Princess coloring book and raises an eyebrow* Is your bed available?

Diego, blushing: Ye-yeah, b-ba-baby. Whe-whenever you-u w-want.

Klaus: *smiles*

Klaus: *takes Diego’s hand*

Klaus: Okay.

Diego: *dies a little bit inside (in a good way)*

#43: It’s Just You.

Diego: Is it hot in here or is it just you?

Klaus, blushing: I -

Five: DIEGO. THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE. NOW IS NOT THE TIME.

#44: ‘Scuse Me, Mate?

Diego: You know, penguins mate for life. Wanna be my penguin?

Klaus: Eh. I’ve always been more of an iguana man.

Diego:

Diego:

Diego:

Diego: What?

#45: You Look Like… Antonio Banderas With The Long Hair.

Diego: How’s the most beautiful person in the world doing today?

Klaus: *buried in a Vogue magazine* I don’t know I’m not Antonio Banderas.

#46: What The Fuck Klaus

Diego: Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.

Klaus: *hands him a Candyland board* Here. I stole it from Pogo.

#47: You Dumbass

Diego: I hate my last name. Can I borrow yours?

Klaus:

Klaus:

Klaus:

Klaus: We have the same last name, Diego.

Diego: *blinks*

Diego: Fuck you’re right -

#48: Okay But Diego Would Make A Great Aladdin Though

Diego: I’m not a genie, but I can still make your dreams come true.

Klaus: *wrinkles his nose*

Klaus: You can get me a pink elephant with jaundice?

Diego: *blinks*

Diego: What the fuck Klaus -

#49: HELLO

Diego: Is that a knife or are you just happy to see me?

Klaus: I don’t just have random knives on me Diego, I’m not you.

Diego: So you are happy to see me?

Klaus: I mean you just interrupted a very riveting episode of Sesame Street, so… we’ll see.

#50: It’s Always Best To Start With The Truth.

Diego: I love you.

Klaus: *beams* That’s all you had to say, darling.

#i'm sorry #oh who am i kidding no i'm not #kliego #klaus hargreeves #diego hargreeves #terrible pick up lines #like #REALLY terrible #tua #the umbrella academy #the hargreeves #and appearances from: #(!!!) #luther hargreeves #five hargreeves #ben hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #lucky for her allison avoided all this bullshit #good for her #fluff #funny #i tried #i hope i made at least some of you smile :) #have a nice day y'all #i love you <3

[scuttle-buttle]

WC: 849

Rating: G

Tags: fluff, domestic, best uncle ever, children & parenthood, aging, brief anxiety, german ("my little bee")

A/N: inspired by @themusingofagothicsoul & there is a pic of the toy at the end of the post

🏆

The race at Brands Hatch in the United Kingdom had gone well for Niki. He came in 2nd place. Only spending a few minutes on the podium, he quickly made his way back to base camp to be with your family. The crowd has thinned but many of the drivers and press are still here.

You could see Niki approaching from across the lot as you stood with James and your daughter in the pit. Sara ran to greet her father, you stayed back with your brother.

"Christ Kitty, she's gotten so big since I last saw her." James shook his head in disbelief. Because the race was so local he made it a priority to come to visit you all.

"You're telling me. She'll be 6 this year. I'm feeling quite old - I even found a grey hair last week!" you both laugh.

Niki finally reaches you, your daughter perched on his back. "James, nice to see you." He uses his free hand to shake your brother’s in greeting. "How is retirement treating you?"

"Oh you know me, Niki. I always enjoy myself. Nice drive today, I see you aren't slowing down with age," he ribs.

Your husband gives that little amused scoff of his. If this were a few years ago you know the sound would've been accompanied by his middle finger; since becoming a father he's been better at restraining himself. "Thank you."

"Uncle Jamie said he got me a present!" Sara announces to you from over Niki's shoulder.

"Did he now?" you ask, eyeing James.

He throws his hands out and bellows "well of course I did, can't be the best uncle if I didn't get my favorite niece a present! Let's go get it." Sara climbs down from her father's back to follow James.

You nudge Niki’s shoulder with your own. "I put twenty on it being something she'll break her arm on."

He looks down at you with a furrowed brow. "You want to bet on our daughter injuring herself?" The look you give him says that is the dumbest question you've ever asked me. He grunts and amends his statement; "James does give…. Interesting gifts." He had once gifted a pogo stick - all the rage - to Sara when she was a 3 year old. You chuckle at his concession.

The two of you make small talk and plan your week as you wait for James and Sara to return. You are leaning on a guard rail to the circuit when Niki quietly asks "do you think i'm getting too old for all of this?"

Studying his face, you see a flicker of insecurity pass over him. "Why? Do you?"

"No." He shrugs. "I figure I have another couple seasons maybe. Then I'll focus on the planes. Finally teach you how to fly them, give myself a chance to sit back and let you do all the work."

"I'm sure you would like that," you smirk at his comment. "But no my love, you aren't too old. I'm the old one here, greying hair and all."

"It was one hair," Niki tries to reason with you.

"Still one more than you!"

You find a comfortable silence and rest your head on him, his arm circling your waist to hold you against his side. Niki looks around the pit, searching for your missing companions. "What's taking them so long?" You both begin to look around from where you stand.

A familiar squeal behind you catches your attention. "Papa! Mama! Look at me!"

And there are James and your girl on the track; Sara speeding by in a little red electric corvette. Her giggles are infectious as she steers this way and that. She even adds pretend engine sounds as she weaves in the toy car. Thankfully, James paired the extravagant gift with a matching helmet, Sara Lauda printed on the side.

"Papa, I'm just like you!"

"I see, meine kleine biene. Be careful you don't turn too hard or you will crash and then your mother will have to kill James." You hit Niki with the back of your hand, your face an expression of pretend shock.

"You're doing absolutely wonderful, love!" The three of you remain on the track for another hour as Sara puts good use to her gift.

🏆

The next morning Niki hands you the newspaper. He's got it open to page 21, his finger pointing to a small article in the sports section.

The page displays colorful pictures of your family on the track yesterday. You, Niki, and James stand in the background as Sara has the biggest grin in her little Power Wheels car. You read the article headline, your own smile breaking out.

"Looks like 'Little Lauda' is gearing up for the big leagues - pretty soon we'll have another champion on our hands!"

You lean back into your husband as he stands over you, hands on the tops of your arms. "You know what they say, Niki - like father, like daughter."

Niki snorts at you. "Let's hope not, or I'll be the one with all the grey hair."

Tag list: @ay0nha @apparrio @livvyshmiv @fictionlandslanddreams @vinylrosess @typical-bistander @ntlmundy @mymagicsuitcase @anteroom-of-death @somethingthatsaysbubbles @lieutenantn @multiversemarielle @trashbin2 @whatawildone @metalbreakfast @laura-naruto-fan1998 @greeneyedblondie44 @godidontevenknowwhat @marchingicenotes7 @loliissmut

*Advertisement for the electric car from the mid '80s, I considered pink but wanted Sara to match Niki's red.

#beyond the checkered flag #swte scuttle buttle #scuttle-buttle #daniel bruhl #daniel brühl #daniel bruhl niki lauda #rush 2013 #niki lauda rush 2013 #niki lauda x reader #sleeping with the enemy #niki lauda fanfiction #daddy niki lauda #daniel bruhl fanfiction #niki lauda daniel bruhl

[lookingforhappy]

The Hargreeves' Names

ik this has been done over and over again but i like to organise things where i can see them properly etc.

i'm basing this off of the above statement by Steve Blackman. however i can't reliably show the popularity in certain countires as most sites only show "general" and/or USA ratings - which I assume to be one and the same tbh so i'm just going off of name origins rather than popularity.

anyway, going into this one i expected luther to be from a generally english speaking country - USA or UK

Luther -

Wikipedia:

As a German surname, Luther is derived from a Germanic personal name compounded from the words liut, "people", and heri, "army". As a rare English surname, it means "lute player". Luther is also derived from the Greek name Eleutherius. Eleutherius is a cognate of the Greek word eleutheros (έλεύθερος) which means "free".

Luther is a given name of various origins, it is derived from the same surname and became a first name mainly in tribute of Martin Luther.

Luther was ordained to the priesthood in 1507. He came to reject several teachings and practices of the Roman Catholic Church; in particular, he disputed the view on indulgences. His refusal to renounce all of his writings at the demand of Pope Leo X in 1520 and the Holy Roman Emperor Charles V at the Diet of Worms in 1521 resulted in his excommunication by the pope and condemnation as an outlaw by the Holy Roman Emperor.

Lutheran theology differs from Reformed theology in Christology, divine grace, the purpose of God's Law, the concept of perseverance of the saints, and predestination.

Predestination, in Christian theology, is the doctrine that all events have been willed by God, usually with reference to the eventual fate of the individual soul.

it seems like luther was taken from Germany both due to his name origins and it's relation to Martin Luther who was born and died in germany (or one of the german states before it was a country).

i actually did a little of Martin Luther/Lutheranism for my A Level History so i'm vaguely familiar with him. basically this is the guy who nailed his writings to the church door etc. (fair warning, martin luther and lutheranism are known to be very antisemitic among other things)

i added some stuff about Martin Luther bc some of it feels prophetic to Luther:

luther needed to realise that the umbrella academy was not the best place for him to be, and needed to reject the idea that his upbringing was healthy/safe/normal. yes i am comparing reginald to the catholic church. no i am not saying lutheranism is a better alternative or advocating for it, its just a comparison.

when luther did finally realise that reginald wasn't great he immediately indulged himself in alcohol, drugs, and sex.

reginald didn't like luther's appearance/mannerisms/lifestyle/etc. so he threw him out, refused to help, and promptly un-adopted him.

another interesting little tidbit is the lutheran belief in predestination. which is the only bit of lutheranism i was really taught about. predestination is basically the belief that it doesnt matter what you do, your life has already been planned/witnessed by god and therefore cannot be changed. its the abscence of free-will. or the limitation of free-will. its also the belief that some people are born to be sent to heaven and some are born to be sent to hell.

luther's initial black and white thinking in season 1 comes to mind, believing that there are bad guys and good guys (multiple conversations five come to mind) and struggling with grey morals (five in particular, but also reginald, pogo and mom's situations are good examples of luther not being able to understand grey morals).

the actual meaning of luther's name (army, people, free) is interesting in itself.

"army", and "people" seems to encourage the idea that luther is trying to be a "one man army" or "the people's army" especially in season 1. it could also mean that luther is bearing the weight of the entire umbrella academy now that the rest have left, making a 7 person army into a 1 person army. it could also be a hint that luther has something to do with the army at a later date? whereas "free" seems to be what luther needs. luther is trapped in his childhood, he's still following his father's orders and wishes, he's still in the umbrella academy and still in his father's house. luther needs to free himself of his father, his childhood home, the umbrella academy, his percieved responsibility to reginald's legacy etc.

---

so to wrap this up i think that luther was probably from Germany, possibly central/north/east germany (??) if we're following the martin luther train of thought. since Lutherstadt Eisleben was martin luther's hometown - but that feels too specific so lets just stick with germany overall.

besides, i think it's safe to say that luther isn't american by birth as nameberry.com suggests that it was ranked at 717/1000 for popularity in 1989 (and i'm 90% sure nameberry is america-centric, at least in reference to the popularity graph)

and it went down to 992/1000 for popularity in 1994 before falling off the list entirely!

it was much more popular in 1963 where it was 379/1000 likely due to Martin Luther King Jr. who was politically active from 1955 - 1968

luther/diego/allison/klaus/five/ben/vanya

#tua #the umbrella academy #luther hargreeves #number 1 #name meanings #meta #i think thats what you use the meta tag for???

[conchshell]

👀

I know you like some whump and hurt, so just as a little treat...

“Easy there, slow movements,” a muffled voice to his left said. “Nice and slow, try not to move your head too much.”

He peeled his eyelids open slowly, fighting against the heaviness of them. He appeared to be in some sort of room, the air stagnant with the musty smell of damp. The floors and walls were grey, as was the ceiling, and the whole environment was dimly illuminated from the fluorescent light overhead.

“Klaus,” the voice said again, a voice that he knew. “Come on Klaus, look at me.”

“Ben?” He croaked, turning to the side and letting the fuzziness of his vision settle. His ghostly brother was crouched beside him, his face twisted into an expression of intense concern.

“They really got you good, huh,” he said simply, gesturing at the side of his head with a translucent hand.

Klaus gently touched his temple with a whimper, the wound throbbing. He could feel that his cheek was swollen, and he didn’t need a mirror to know his lip was split. He could taste the blood on his tongue, sickeningly rich and metallic.

“What did I do this time?” He managed out, attempting a chuckle to diffuse the situation.

“This wasn’t actually your fault. Do you remember what happened? With those guys back at the academy?”

Klaus tilted his head back and wracked his brain as best as he could, which was easier said than done when it felt like someone had stuffed his skull with cotton wool. He could remember something to do with the house? And then Luther mentioning paint? And something with mom and cookies?

"Focus," Ben said softly.

He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to ease the panic in his chest, pushing aside the pain of his body. And then, after a few moments, his memories began to slot back into place.

He could remember Diego saying they needed to sort mom out a proper room, and that along with Luther and Allison they would visit the hardware shop for paint. He could remember that Vanya was teaching violin down at the local school. Pogo was spending the day in dad’s office, sorting out dad’s old paperwork. And he was alone.

No.

He wasn’t alone.

Mom was making cookies and he decided to help her out with things, and steal the occasional chocolate chip whenever she wasn’t looking. And somewhere along the line, Five had also joined in on the whole ordeal.

What. Five?

“Where’s Five?” He asked, grimacing as the words pulled at his split lip. He tried to peer around Ben, and he was sure he could see a figure in the gloom of the room.

Ben frowned, a look he couldn’t decipher crossing his face. “Promise you won’t freak out.”

A feeling of dread settled in his stomach.

“Promise,” Ben repeated. “It looks worse than it is, and I don’t want you getting worked up in your condition.”

“Promise,” Klaus uttered quietly, and Ben moved aside.

And there, lying in a pool of his own blood, was the bruised and battered form of his brother.

-

Send me a 👀 emoji and I'll post a little snippet of any unfinished WIPs I've got!

#I hope you like it Steph! #This is from a fic I abandoned where Klaus and Five were kidnapped and tortured for a ransom #Thanks for the ask! #golden-wreath #The Umbrella Academy #Klaus Hargreeves #Five Hargreeves #writing #asks

[the-silentium]

11

Masterlist

Pairing: Five Hargreeves x Reincarnation!Reader

Words: 2755 words

Warnings: TUA season 1 and 2 spoilers, violence, blood, mention of torture, swearing, angst.

Requested by: @asphodelshare​

Hi! I read your Five fics and I like your style of writing! If it’s not too much to ask, could you write one where Five had to leave the reader back in the 2019 Apocalypse bc he didn’t have a choice. He then sees her 1963 counterpart, she doesn’t know him and he tries to stop himself from reconnecting w/ her but he can’t help himself. It’s up to you if it’ll end on a happy note or an angsty one! Xx

A/N: The Eternals are my personal touch, so I guess this should be considered an AU of some sort. I'm sure this wasn't what you thought would happen, I'll be frank, it wasn't what I thought either 😂 The end just wrote itself! And it wasn't what I had planned. Ouups. 

He tried. Really, he tried. Ever since the first time he saw you walking in the street wearing a school uniform, a school bag hanging loosely on your shoulder and a lunchbox in hand, Five had had a hard time resisting his need to run to you and hug your form with all his might. Granted, Five had no proof that the girl walking away from him was this time-line version of you, she could simply be a perfect replica of your 15 years old self with the same habit of drawing on her school furniture, the same bright smile and the same bewitching laugh. Yes, she was just a replica. A too perfect replica. 

Five forced his legs to take him away from her walking form and tried to push the girl at the back of his mind. He had to concentrate on his task to stop the new apocalypse and return back in 2019 where he left you. 

It never was in the plan to let you die under the meteor shower that ravaged the Earth, if anything you were at the top of his list of people he had to save. Unfortunately Five came to the conclusion that the past was a place way too dangerous for you to venture, add this to the Commission who would surely double down their effort to kill the Hargreeves and whoever helped them, your chances of dying in the past were way too high for his liking. The boy would never be able to live with himself if you were to die permanently in the past and not for only a few days in 2019. 

For a whole day, Five managed to forget about the girl and his feelings altogether. Alongside Diego, he broke into their father's company building and discovered some precious information. The part of the night involving the younger Pogo let him a bitter taste in his mouth but it didn't stop him in the slightest. Back at Morty's, Five was almost surprised to find his brother still breathing on the couch, his new partner in crime cauterizing his bullet-wound. 

"Did you cut yourself shaving? I can teach you to shave like a big boy." Sighing the boy put a gaze to the bleeding scratches burning his neck. All he could hope now was that Pogo didn't give him Herpes B. 

"No, I just ran into an old family friend." Five turned around towards the kitchen in hope of finding a perfectly brewed coffee pot. He groaned in disappointment when he noticed that not only was the coffee pot empty, but Elliott wasn't tied in the chair anymore. 

"You untied him?" Five shot Lila a brief glance before returning his attention to his surroundings, listening attentively to any sound allowing him to pin-point the man's location. 

"No. Was I supposed to?" 

Ignoring her question, Five made his way to the rooms down the hallway. He never ventured there before, he assumed that the three doors lead to a bedroom and some storage rooms filled with conspiracy theories just like the living room. Turns out he was partially right. 

Elliott's bedroom was empty, the bed still undone. The next door opened on a black room with pictures hanging on the walls and dyeing material placed neatly. 

From behind the last door, Five could hear two distinct muffled voices. He recognized the first one as Elliott's but the second one made him frown in concentration. It sounded familiar even though he never really talked to anyone from this time-line other than Lila and Elliott. 

Confused, Five opened the door, not prepared at all to see you standing in front of a seated Elliott, the two of you arguing in hushed voices. The cracking door alerted you, your angry gaze instantly found him, standing in your doorway with his mouth slightly opened in shock like an idiot. 

Five gulped as you made your way to him, there was no way that she wasn't you. Not only did she look exactly like you, but her pissed-off expression was the same as the you he knew. Your fists were tight at your sides, no doubt giving you the courage to not back down before him, your furrowed brows created little wrinkles that Five desperately wanted to ease away by a light stroke of his fingers and your eyes. Oh your eyes. How he had missed their spark. 

“Who are you?” You harshly asked while poking his chest with your delicate finger. 

Five had a hard time keeping his arms to his sides, preventing them from pulling you into a tight hug that you were sure to hate. Instead, he breathed in deeply in an attempt to calm his frantic heart. “E- What are you doing here?” He mentally cursed the slight waver in his voice, then again, you tended to have that effect on him. 

“I live here. Why are you here?” 

He was at a loss of words and couldn't help but stare at you in disbelief. You lived here?

“Oh. Yeah. Sorry.” Elliott stood up, his anxiety showing in the form of a hand scratching the back of his neck. “This is my daughter Y/N. Y/N this is- this is- eh. He’s one of them.” 

You even had the same name! It finally clicked into Five's head. He had heard of the rare phenomenon back in his days at the Commission, someone extremely important to the balance of the time-line would reincarnate after each one of their deaths to keep the time-line on track. Those very few, only eight in the whole world, were constantly chased by the Commission who in the beginning tried to discover the secret of their perpetual rebirths but then changed their goal to killing them as soon as they could when they discovered that the reincarnations could remember their past and future lives. Five had always thought that the Eternals, as the Commission called them, were just a story created by bored time analysts to kill time. 

Shaking himself out of his thoughts, a small smile slipped out of his control at the perspective that this was really you right in front of him, his best friend, his confidant, his partner in crime and the object of his affection. 

“The name’s Five.” So far you didn’t seem to remember him. Maybe you were too young or it was too soon. He had no idea how your condition worked.

"I don't care, asswad. You and your friends tied my father to a chair-" Five's heart stopped at the insult modern you used to call him all the time when his shitty attitude managed to get on your nerves. As much as he hated the nickname, he couldn’t help the rush of excitement he felt when he heard it. You may be starting to remember your future even if you were unaware of it.

"He tried to shoot us." Five deadpanned quickly remembering why they tied the man in the first place. 

"You are in our house!"

"He invited us in." Okay, this one was a lie. Five had space-jumped in first, but then Elliott hadn't kicked him out so he would consider it as an invitation to stay.  

"Dad!" You turned to the embarrassed grown-up, disbelief written all over your face. 

Five decided to let them argue alone and go control his ever growing feelings somewhere else, preferably somewhere you were not. Walking back to the kitchen to finally make himself some coffee, Five thought about how he could help you remember who you were- no, will be. 

“What’s the beeping?” Lila’s voice broke through his reasoning, catching his attention when she poked the computer screen. 

Five made his way toward the machine, a grin stretching his lips. “Vanya.” In a second he jumped away, carrying on with his plan to gather his siblings.

It was only two days later that he saw you next. You were eating your breakfast while quickly scribbling on a poor paper sheet, your foot bouncing rapidly on the floor as the seconds passed. Five was watching you over his warm cup of coffee, swiftly averting his gaze whenever you would lift yours. An elbow hit his shoulder, almost causing him to lose his balance and fall on the floor, wasting his precious black liquid. 

“What?” Five snapped at Luther after making sure his drink didn’t spill over his hand. 

“Why is Y/N here?” His whispering was not subtle at all although luckily for the blue-eyed boy, the sizzling eggs covered the excessive sound. 

Five went to his brother’s side, turning his back to you in the meantime. “She’s not the same Y/N. Well, she is but-” He groaned at the complexity of the situation. His brother would definitely not understand, so he went with the easy way out. “Long story short, this is her past life. Now stop talking abou-” 

“Oh, hey even your little girlfriend made it here.” Diego joined the conversation without a care in the world. He grabbed a plate along with some toast before dropping them at Five’s outburst.

“She’s not my girlfriend!” He could feel his body heating up despite his best efforts. 

All three of them tensed for their own reasons yet they all not so subtly turned their heads in your direction. If looks could kill, they would definitely be at the verge of death. 

“I’m not his girlfriend.” Five just received his killing blow. 

You hurriedly grabbed your bag under the table and rushed out of the room, paper in hand. The silence following your exit permitted your last words to bounce in his head, hurting his feelings like nothing before. If he could gauge the pain he felt at this right moment on a scale of 1 to 10, he would say that without a doubt this was a 10. 

What you said was the plain truth. In any lives of yours did you and him became a thing. It didn’t stop the fact that after all these years suppressing his romantic attraction toward you, Five had nurtured the hope that maybe one day, you two could be more than friends. Today this hope just blew up in his face, mauling his heart in the process.

So in the blink of an eye, the boy disappeared from the kitchen to live his pain alone, away from prying eyes and the pity of his brothers. 

Later that same day, Five was nursing his seventh cup of steaming coffee of the day when someone sat next to his own spot on the second floor, legs dangling in the air where the floor stopped to show the once TV shop. He sipped on his coffee as an attempt to show them that he wasn’t interested in the slightest in what they had to say, needless to say that it didn’t work. He should be used by now, it never worked.

“I’m impressed that you didn’t die from a heart attack or something. Your blood pressure should be pretty high with all the coffee that you drink in a day.” He nearly choked on his sip when your soft voice reached his ears. 

He turned to you, baffled to see you smirking at him. Not angry. Not annoyed. Playful. "You know, if you weren't from the future and weren’t endangering my father by your mere presence here, I would have loved to be your friend." 

Just when Five thought that he couldn’t be surprised anymore! "How do yo-?"

"Klaus doesn't stop talking about how he misses youtube." The boy sighed, clearly his brother couldn’t keep his mouth shut. He wondered if sewing his mouth shut would suffice to shut him up for good. Knowing Klaus, he would definitely find a way to express himself without his mouth. “Also I remember you, asswad.” You bumped his shoulder with yours before crossing your arms on the railing before you and resting your head on them. 

His eyes went wide, the meaning of your words slowly registering into his brain. He turned to you, trying in vain to not get his hopes up about your remembrance. A very genuine smile stretched your lips, making Five almost drop his mug on the floor below. He then realized that if you could remember your future life, then you surely remembered your future death and with it, how Five abandoned you to your demise. Guilt pulled at his heart at imagining what you went through because of him and fear darkened his heart at the thought that not only your past self would hate him but your modern self too. 

Something on his cheek caught his attention, the delicate stroke of your fingers awoke a fire under his skin when he noticed your gesture and the concerned frown disturbing your perfect features. This time around he couldn’t stop himself and reached forward, smoothing the creased skin with a light brush of his fingertips. 

“I’m sorry.” His hand dropped in defeat at his side, his gaze fleeing yours. 

“What for?” You asked, genuinely confused.

“I abandoned you to die.” His voice was so small, saying it aloud made him doubt his choice. He closed his eyes tightly to keep the tears away, his remorses started eating him alive. 

You moved closer and took the mug out of his hand when it was within your reach. You disposed of it before wrapping your arms around his waist and put your chin on his shoulder. He didn’t open his eyes, instead closing them tighter to the point that he started to see stars dance behind his eyelids. 

“You.” You blowed on the side of his face. Once. Twice. “Hey you. Open your eyes.” You sighed when he merely relaxed his facial muscles but kept his eyes shut. “I understand you know? You had to. I’m not mad.” 

You proceeded to poke his cheek when the absence of reaction on his part was starting to get on your nerves. “I’m talking to you, asswad!”

You gasped when Five suddenly turned his head to the side and connected his lips to yours with force. His hands found the side of your face to keep you close when his lips moved with yours in a desperate motion, as if you would vanish at any seconds. At one point, the kiss stopped tasting coffee, a salty taste replacing the strong addicting aroma.

Slowly Five pulled away to discover tears running down your cheeks. His first reaction was to close his hands into fists wanting to jump away and remove his damned heart from his chest with his bare hands. As the blue waves flowed around his fists, your lips stretched in a smile stealing his breath. 

"Took you long enough." Your almost imperceptible whisper was so loud in his ears. 

A smile mirroring your own formed on his face, he was beyond the moon all the while asking himself how he could have been so stupidly blind to your feelings. 

"We got there, that's what's important." You hummed in agreement before repositioning your head on his shoulder and contemplating what next. 

A few days passed and Five along with his siblings met their father. Needless to say that it went down pretty quickly. For some odd reason, Five found himself thinking that it could have been worse. Someone could have died. Or hurt. Everyone was in one piece if we didn't count Diego's soul. 

Space-jumping back at Morty's, Five thought that he was horribly wrong. Elliott's body laid in a chair obviously having been tortured before being executed. As much as the boy wanted to feel bad for the man who played such a great role helping him reach his goal, every thought that passed through his mind was directed at you. 

Five yelled your name before jumping from room to room before he noticed a crimson red trail leading to the black room. 

His shaking hand grabbed the handle of the slightly opened door, pushing it with a shaky breath escaping his lungs. 

If it wasn't of your school uniform you were wearing, Five couldn't have said for sure that this broken body was yours. The obvious torture you went through got him on his knees, water pooling from his eyes like two rivers. 

He was wrong. So dearly wrong. This, right now, was the worst pain he ever felt. He didn't even have to open his chest to relieve himself of his excruciating pain for his heart had completely stopped at the agony scaled to 11.

#five hargreeves #five hargreeves x reader #number five x reader #number five imagine #the boy #tua s2 #the umbrella academy #this is angsty #and it was supposed to be fluff #my bad #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves

[imakeficrequestsandthendisappear]

the TUA camp counselor au i’ve been thinking of all day

(my only braincell rubbed two sticks together and made a whole idea)

AU/Headcanon where all the Hargreeves siblings (around age 16ish) get to go be counselors at a summer camp. and idk i might write a real fanific about it but whatever ( I did >>> link)

-Reginald has to go do shady alien business out of the country for 2 months, so he wants to sent the kids to a military style training camp

-Mom and Pogo “accidentally” send the kids to be camp counselors at a sleep-away camp so they can be regular teenagers 

-the kids at the camp are like 8-12 ish 

-all the siblings have different jobs/activities to lead and also have like a cabin group to watch over at night

-they also try to hide their powers and the umbrella academy stuff

-Luther is #stressed because they are disobeying dad, but is kinda excited to be in charge

-he leads a lot of the team sports and makes sure everyone is playing fair

-the little kids like to climb on him because he so strong and can throw them like 20 feet in the air 

-he does not tolerate any bullying and can put the older kids in their place

- Diego thinks it’s stupid and doesn’t want to go, but he does like disobeying dad

- gets in trouble immediately for bringing like 10 knives to a children’s camp

- people think he’s cool tho, all the tween girls have a crush on him

- leads a lot of the independent sports, like archery and rock climbing

- Luther and Diego have the same cabin group of boys, which makes them argue a lot

-Luther takes the kids stargazing everynight

- Diego tries to start a secret fight club of 12 year old boys

- the camp owners daughter is kinda crazy and keeps trying to get diego to sneak out with her

-Allison is stoked to go to camp and talk to people who aren’t her siblings

-her cabin group of little girls thinks she the prettiest girl in the whole world

- she also shares her cabin group with the quiet girl who likes to read a lot

-they have girls night and do hair and paint each other’s nails

- she is in charge during wreck time and mostly just lets the kids do whatever

- when the kids act up she rumors them into chilling the fuck out

- the hiking counselor is a really nice boy and asks her to take a walk with him after dinner

- when they’re together Allison feels like a regular girl 

- Luther isn’t sad about it 

- Klaus is here to party

- all the movies say that summer camp is where you get fucked up 

- he brings a shit ton of weed 

- he gets put in charge of the art/craft table and he makes soooo many friendship bracelets (and burns himself with the hot glue gun, like a billion times)

- he teaches the little kids cuss words 

-he also ditches a lot to go smoke/drink in the woods

- one of the lifeguards is really cute and giving off the vibes, so Klaus pretends to not know how to swim and starts fake drowning

- hunky lifeguard boy comes to save him and offers to give klaus one-on-one swimming lessons

- ....they don’t spend much time swimming

-Ben is ambivalent about camp because he doesn’t want anyone to see his stomach monster, but anything is better than staying at the academy all summer

- he forgot to bring extra clothes but he brought a whole duffel bag of books 

- he doesn’t talk much and lets the kids do whatever while he reads on the sidelines

- the only time he raises his voice is when he enforces quiet time 

- wears all of klaus’ rejected friendship bracelets 

- has a massive crush on Allison’s cabinmate but is too shy to talk to her (until the last day)

- Klaus and Ben share a cabin group of boys

- they are the cool counselors who don’t care how late the kids stay up

- also they prank Luther and Diego’s cabin

- they are also the teens that the kids come to when they have personal problems 

-at night Ben is in charge because Klaus keeps sneaking out for “swim lessons”

-Five would actually rather stay home than go to camp (as long as Reginald isn’t there)

-also Five is here because i say so (but he looks younger because a glandular problem or something)

- he gets a sunburn immediately and it never goes away

- he gets to be an admin assistant for the camp owner

- that means he gets to yell at people and he has a whistle, also he has access to the only coffee maker on camp

- basically he just runs around doing errands and telling his siblings to control their kids   

- the other camp counselors sometimes mistake him for a camper and he goes off on them

- the kids are actually scared of Five (as they should be)

-Vanya’s just happy to be included guys

- but camp is #intimidating 

- she has a couple different jobs but always gets steamrolled by the kids

- finally they make her equipment manager and she just has to sit by the equipment shed with a clip board all day

-Five comes to visit her and give her updates about their dumb ass siblings

-this other counselor is kinda a weird dude who keeps trying to hang out with her

- Five offers to beat him up for being creepy. Vanya says no, but then all the other siblings find out and offer to beat him up too.

-She shares a cabin group of girls with this girl from Texas who has horses back home

-Vanya is a horse girl so they hit it off like right away

-sometimes at night they hold hands and Vanya has some feelings about that

-Two months of camp go by and this place is falling apart at the seams 

- the hargreeves’ are just too chaotic 

- the boss lady of the camp is pissed

-it’s really sad when they have to go home 

-but it’s the best summer they’ve ever had

-Reginald doesn’t find out for a while until the kids all start getting weird letters in the mail from other teens and kids

#the umbrella academy #tua #tua shitpost #tua headcanon #camp au #camp counselor #teen tua #hargreeves siblings #luther hargreeves #luther is a boyscout #diego hargreeves #diego is a himbo #allison hargreeves #anti- Luther x Allison #klaus hargreeves #klaus is a disaster pan #ben hargreeves #ben is alive #five hargreeves #five is there #fievel hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #vanya is a horsegirl #vanya is a yearning lesbian #lila pitts #lila tua #dielila #hey there dielila #raymond chestnut #ray x allison

[sunsetsintandem]

TUA Thanksgiving Headcanons (Domestic Hargreeves #1)

It's their first Thanksgiving back home as a family. No apocalypses, screwed up timelines or assassins behind their backs + 1 ex-dead brother and the girl whose mother threatened to kill them all. Overall, could be worse.

It gets better instead.

For instance, Patrick had suggested they spend Thanksgiving together, and Allison had jumped at the opportunity to have Claire meet her uncles and aunts.

It would figure, though, that between 8 emotionally stunted adults raised by morally incompetent parents, only one of them knew about the holiday.

Knew, loosely, because Allison had mostly follow her in-laws instructions and her Hollywood friends' advices. So really, they were all at a disadvantage.

But hey, that's what Google's for.

They set everything up a week before Thanksgiving.

Diego still ends up forgetting the turkey, and he and Luther stumble their way through 8 different stores the morning of.

"Can't we just replace it with a chicken? I don't think we've ever had turkey. "

Klaus is surprisingly capable in the kitchen.

"Are those pies? Since when can you bake?"

Bakers and chefs are good with their hands (which wasn't suppose to be dirty, goodness, Allison, get your head out of the gutter) although, for some reason, they always tried to Hansel and Gretel-ed him (it's because you are built like a twig, Klaus; you activate my fight or flight response).

Allison and Klaus aren't too worried about Ben and Lila helping out.

Until Allison catches them measuring an obscene amount of sugar, and she is violently reminded that Ben has a sweet tooth, and the ex-Sparrow version of him was not different on that regard.

Vanya, maker of peanut butter and marshmallow sandwiches, is appalled.

Five does not cackled at watching two physical adults wallow in self-pity at the dinner table.

He also doesn't offer any help, but he still taste tests Allison's dishes, and blinks to the supermarket for whatever forgotten ingredient Vanya had asked to retrieve.

And then, he finds Diego and Luther wrestling an older woman for the last turkey. He records the whole thing.

When he returns, breath hitched and face pulled, his siblings are easily worried.

He shows them the video.

Suffice to say they end up having a 45 minute impromptu break. They don't tell 1&2 of their new development.

Vanya's mostly relegated to more "simple" dishes like mashed potatoes and roasting veggies, not that she's complaining, specially after the monster thing Diego and Luther brought back home (That doesn't even look like a bird!)

Allison lets Lila cut the "turkey" for fun.

"Ally, I love you, but have you considered replacing that thing with... I don't know... tofu?"

"At this point, I might."

Klaus teaches Ben how to make stuffing. It takes them three tries to get it right, none of them speak about the first two attempts.

Five saves those dishes because they are still good, and they can't be worse than an expired Twinkie (He hopes).

Somehow, by the time the bell rings, they are all done.

Claire barrels in, straight into Luther's arms. "Spaceboy! Spaceboy!" If he tears up, yes, he did.

Claire loves Luther from the getaway, even if he is a little awkward. She immediately asks him about space and the moon, and throws in some things she learned in school.

Patrick is understandably worried about what's going to happen in the next 3 days (A whole weekend! They are staying a whole weekend!) which in turn makes Allison anxious.

It doesn't get better once Klaus steers Patrick away from them. She is half-tempted to follow, but then Claire tugs at her sleeve.

Lila and Claire get unsurprisingly well. Lila braids her hair, teaches her some cool moves, none of which involves a lethal weapon. Allison is grateful.

When the family makes their way back to the kitchen, she isn't expecting Klaus and Patrick cracking up like a pair of madmen.

There's no alcohol in the table, not even on the sink.

"I guess this is something we can be grateful for."

"Vanya, I think our brother broke my ex."

They stuffed themselves full. Ben had claimed an entire pumpkin pie by himself, and Vanya, sweet little Vanya, had almost fought him for it.

10 minutes after Luther had taken the first bite of the turkey, the rest of them eventually picked some up (He never thought one day he would be relegated to meal taster, but there they were).

Diego had attempted to cut mashed potatoes with his knives because he missed them.

Unthinkingly, they had left an open space for Pogo and Mom, as if they were both coming down at any given point.

They have a sleep over, Diego, Ben and Five building the world's biggest blanket fort for all of them.

And even though there's plenty of space left, they cuddle next to each other, pointy limbs and tickling hair. Ben settles down with a book, reading it loudly for Claire, Diego pressed at his side, and Lila draped over both of them.

Generally speaking, Five doesn't like to be touched, but if he curls up at Klaus' side because his brother has vivid nightmares and Five is the lightest sleeper of them, no one has to point it out (maybe it's just because he's feeling soft, and Klaus is the less likely to question him about any sort of physical manifestation of affection Five is willing to throw out).

Luther can't reach all of them, but he tries. He ends up just hugging Vanya and Allison, though.

It's good enough.

For their first Thanksgiving back, Allison thinks it's a success.

#the umbrella academy #klaus hargreeves #allison hargreeves #diego hargreeves #ben hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #luther hargreeves #five hargreeves #claire #tua claire #theumbrellaacademy #klaus and ben #tua patrick #headcanon #thanksgiving #domestic hargreeves #hargreeves siblings #team zero