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saelique · 15 days

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CHEAP BEER & FRIDAY NIGHTS

cinna’s note : wrote this at 2am n finished it in a library. why do toddlers scream s’ much D: my feet hurt ;;

tw : blood, guns, the usual mafia stuff, one death threat, alcohol ( beer ) ft. chuuya + mori, can be seen as platonic or romantic, angst / fluff !

the last time you see dazai osamu was when you were in your apartment, opening cans of beer to drink and eating cheap food from a convenience store nearby your home.

it was a normal saturday night, one that happened every week. talk about stupid stuff with him and fall asleep on the sofa together with nothing but a thin blanket to keep you warm, the lights still on.

you expected to see him when you were in your office, hanging around to escape his workload. until you don’t.

you didn’t think too much about it. he’ll be back tomorrow. maybe he got sent on another mission without your knowledge, and so you buy some extra food in case he decides to crash by.

seconds, minutes, hours which turn into days passes. and you presume he got killed by the boss. not really.

you ask around when work is over, hoping for some sort of news, only to receive confused glances. then you realise you haven’t asked nakahara. he was nowhere to be seen as well for now.

the elevator’s doors open and you step in, only to hear a greeting.

“hello.”

a shiver runs down your spine when you recognise that voice. “oh. hello boss.”

awkward silence falls and you can barely breathe, choked by the heavy air. petrified. you were scared. you never knew what made this man so fucking intimidating but you guess its because he looks the most normal out of all of you. but is practically a monster behind that facade of being fake nice.

“you’re the girl that ex-executive dazai always hangs around with.” he commented, a smile on his face. “yes.” you manage to nod, before his words struck you. “ex-executive ?” you repeat, eyebrows furrowing.

“yes. he defected a couple days ago. unfortunately no one could contact him.” he sighs. “a shame, dazai truly was a treasured subordinate.” bullshit.

“I take it that you weren’t aware ?” “I was unfortunately occupied with reports. I apologise.”

but why would he leave ? it doesnt make sense. and if he left, the people close to him would be suspects. and didnt he say that the port mafia was really where he belonged-

oh. then you remember why you were stuck in the office with another worker for the whole day doing stupid paperwork.

that bitch had known that you would be questioned.

“dont worry,” that sickening sweet voice again. “well, I’ll have to go now. see you around.” he says, when the doors open and then he left.

you sigh, then walk your office. you bite your tongue, so hard that it draws blood and you can taste the smell of rusted nails in your mouth.

you walk to your desk and pull out a drawer full of small notes from him. taking one out, you rip it into small, tiny peices, coloured paper fluttering down the ground.

“you’re taking this better than I expected.” nakahara walks in, bottle of wine in hand. “I thought you would go out, look for him and then murder him.”

“why is there wine ?” “wanna drink ?” you pause before silently agreeing. “sure. lets just go back to my apartment. dont wanna risk anyone seeing me drunk.”

shockingly, four years pass quickly when youre preoccupied with shitty work.

you ended up being nakahara’s assistant, a promotion that you hadn’t expected honestly. but the pay was good so you didnt have any issues.

when you come back from printing some reports at two am, you find chuuya sitting in his couch, legs spread and his hat covering his face, asleep, soft snores escaping his lips.

you hum, covering his sleeping figure with a blanket you found draped on the side of the couch, taking your briefcase and fixing your appearance, you left the building.

waving over a cab, you quickly went into it and gave directions to your apartment, tired and wasted from the long hours.

it soon stopped, signaling it’s arrival. mumbling a thanks, you stepped out of the taxi after paying.

you walked up the stairs slowly, feet aching from your heels. when you arrived to your door, already key in hand, ready to insert it into the lock. but just as you opened the door a crack, you stopped short.

the light was on.

swallowing a groan, you grabbed a gun from your belt and kicked it open.

“get out from your hiding spot or I’ll shoot you in the head ten fucking times.”

“aww, but you’ll shoot me even if I come out.”

what the actual loving hell was he doing here ?

turning around, you pointed your gun at him, rolling your eyes. “the fuck are you doing here dazai ?”

“it’s friday.”

you scoff, still holding the gun up to his head. “we dont even do that anymore. leave.”

“mmm . . . i bought some beer though, it would be a shame if you drank it alone-“

bang.

smoke hisses behind dazai, a hole shot clear through the wall. only then did you let your arm down, glaring at him.

“i’m not going to deal with this bullshit. I’ve had a long day.”

“the last time we saw each other was today’s date. wouldn’t you like to catch up ?” when did he become so persistent ? he changed too much. but you did too.

you put the gun down your coffee table, running a hand through your hair, defeated. “i’m going to take a shower, dont pull anything funny or I’ll be dragging your ass to the port mafia and handing you over to ozaki’s team.”

“got it !”

you end up screaming inside the shower the whole time.

when you come back out wearing your usual clothes, hair still wet and your towel around your neck, dazai looks amused but thankfully keeps his mouth shut tight.

he was already drinking a can of beer, and you notice there’s small splatters of blood on his beige trench coat.

“so, how’s everything back in the port mafia ?” he starts as you open a can straight from your freezer, a pop echoing through the room.

“as usual. i got promoted to become executive nakahara’s assistant.” you relish in his pained and disgusted look, knowing the friendly rivalry in between them that usually caused fights and included random buildings exploding.

“him ? that slug ? couldn’t you refuse ?” “the pay was high.” “hmph.”

“hows things at your new job ?” you ask, “is everything better there ? you’ve changed a lot so I guess so. you’re not the dazai I knew anymore,” your voice cracks, “what the fuck were you thinking ?!”

tears fall down your cheeks as you get up from your chair, grab his collar, “did you know how much I worried for your stupid suicidal ass ?!”

dazai stays silent, chocolate brown eyes staring back into your own. you let go of him and plop down your chair. “things are alright. altough there’s a co-worker named kunikida who always nags at me.” he replies, not talking about your sudden outburst.

you avoid his glance before getting up yet again. “i’m going to the toilet.”

the faucet is running and you’re splashing your face with cold water. eyes and nose a bit red and puffy.

it wasn’t any use crying. that dazai wont ever ever come back and it’s not something that you could control.

when you come back, you find your beer is already almost gone, so you grimace and pop open another one. the second one for the night.

“you’re working at the armed detective agency huh ?” you sigh, “I hope you manage to get killed in one of your missions.” “youre so cold.” “only to you.”

“you didnt lose an eye after all.” you comment, staring at where his eye bandage had been. “was that really just for fashion ?”

he doesnt answer and you dont talk anymore.

it continues on for a while until he breaks the silence. “i’m sorry.”

“im not accepting it.”

“knew it.”

silence envelopes the room yet again, and the only sounds audible is the clock ticking.

“I wont ever forgive you for a million years for pulling that. but, i’m quite a merciful person yknow ?” your words breaks the invisible wall in between you breaks a bit, cracks starting to form.

he perks up in surprise, “what do you mean-“ “i’m willing to start over. but dont think I won’t try and murder you in one of those fights.”

the young man chuckles, “alright then. to new beginnings ?”

“to new beginnings.”

#bsd x reader #dazai x reader #x reader #bsd dazai #dazai osamu #dazai x you #bsd x you #bungo stray dogs x reader fluff #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs x reader #౨ৎ⋆˚｡⋆ : novels !

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animeyanderelover · 2 years

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I really love the reborn sister from our world hc, what will the sakamaki do if she was the older one but this time she managed to go back to her world and bring yui with her?

It's been ages since I've written that Hc's. Anyways, I always appreciate platonic stuff.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, manipulation, stalking, clinginess, guilt-tripping, mental instability, threats, paranoia, self-harm, delusion, death

Older sister from this world manages to escape with Yui

You find yourself thrown into the world of Diabolik Lovers as nothing more than a drooling and babbling toddler, terrified yet completely reliant on whoever your mother is. The helplessness only fuels your immense fear and confusion since you're stuck in the body of a baby with a mother who you already know will be terrible to her future children. There's no excitement whatsoever, not even as you grow older and all the other boys are born. You're unsure how to act, know how all of them will be when they grow up. Yet you can't help yourself despite better judgement to not interfere since you don't even belong in here. You can't see them as nasty and cruel vampires when all six of them are nothing more but helpless children, all helpless victims of a terrible childhood. You see how childish and naive they are, how different from what you've seen them on screen and so you decide that you can at the very least help them and play your role as the older sister.

You get attached to them and vice versa, soon you have a bunch of young boys clinging to you like leeches. They adore you yet their already messed up upbringing causes them to develop certain habits that sometimes scare you, Kanato is the worst. Yet your heart grows weak when you see their tears, you always attempt to find a solution somehow as your goal becomes to raise them well. At the same time you know that you have to get back to your own world since you have your own friends and families there. Sure, you're immortal and have a life with more riches yet that doesn't fulfill you. Your long life quickly becomes dull and boring there are times where you're mentally shot as you realize that your younger brothers have grown quite obsessed with you. As much as you love them, sometimes you can't handle them and the only advantage is that they listen somewhat to you since you're the oldest. You can't let any of them know, you know something bad would happen.

When Yui comes, you decide to protect her as you are horrified how bad the boys treat her. She's just a poor, young girl, not deserving of the abuse. Because you protect her, the boys back temporarily down though you realize soon that your friendly behavior around the human has triggered the jealousy of your younger brothers as all of them try to make her life hell for taking their beloved sister away from them. Initial pity turns into friendship since Yui is the only sane person around here and so a thought comes to your mind. You've almost perfected a way to go back, have experimented years for this. You fear your brothers will kill her if you disappear since they'd label her as the responsible one for this. You let her know about your true identity, let her know that you plan to take her with you. She's shocked to find out your truth but agrees. The last night before you leave, you can't help but cry a bit and say goodbye in the form of a letter.

Shu Sakamaki

🎵He loves you dearly, his older sister. He's always did what you told him to do, even taking the role of the oldest brother who looks out for the younger ones. Yet he hates sharing you, you've always been his getaway from his strict mother, the loss of his best friend Edgar and bad childhood. He's grown manipulative over time, uses his introverted and closed side to force you to spend more time with him. Shu is unwilling to be with someone else when that person isn't his sister, often uses manipulation and guilt-tripping in subtle ways to have you more for himself. He's good with instruments and if he knows that you enjoy his music he spends hours practicing and even coming up with his own pieces of music. He truly blossoms under you, is extremely motivated for everything as long as you're there.

🎵Shu becomes surprisingly empathic when it comes to his sister, sometimes realizes how she seems to be deeply in thoughts. During times where he plays the violin, your eyes sometimes drift away as your mind wanders away to a place he can not see. There is indescribable longing and sadness that you carry around with you, that's how he perceives it. You are fairly good to hide it yet he sees it sometimes in moments of your weakness. He wants to know what makes you sad, wants you happy yet when he tries to ask you, you always come up with an excuse. The sadness stays with you your entire life and it drives him silently up the wall. He just wants his sister happy, she should be happy since she has him, and maybe also the other boys.

🎵Yui is a stain, someone who tries to take you away from Shu. Your kindness shouldn't be for humans, only for him. Yet it's hard to make a move on her when you're constantly with her, even insist to let her sleep in your room. He always keeps an eye on you two, despises how you to become friends over time since you don't need any attention seekers like friends. Passive-aggressive comments are constantly thrown at Yui in order to insult her, threats to get away from you. He never expected you to abandon him and his brothers though for a girl, his stoic expression replaced by a wide-eyed one as he clutches the letter in his hands, tears blurring his vision. A bubble of hatred against Yui and painful sorrow threatens to explode in his chest yet he is forced to calm all the others down who are losing their minds. Later that day he cries silently though, the betrayal fully hitting him. Shu takes charge over the brothers after that since he's the oldest, all suddenly willing to work together, get you back and kill Yui. He even helps Reiji with his work.

Reiji Sakamaki

☕️The second-oldest brother of the boys idolizes and worships his sister to the extreme. She’s an angel, the perfect example how every lady should be with her dazzling kindness and extraordinary intelligence. Reiji is very clingy and follows you constantly around, boasting about the new things he just memorized and learned. There is jealousy whenever you spend time with others, especially with Shu, and Reiji normally resorts to dragging you over so you can help him with his studies, even if he already understood everything perfectly. He notices your keen interest in science though and is quick to use that to his advantage. He informs himself about everything that exists about science and when he realizes that you are interested with what he always tells you in hopes of gaining your attention, he always has a smug and proud look on his face.

☕️He never seems to question your interest for the longest time, only cares about the aspect that you’re interested in it and pay him more attention. It isn’t until he grows older that he starts wondering why you’re so fascinated with stuff like tunnels and even the question whether they are other worlds in different dimensions. Sure, scientists have questioned themselves this before but something about your curiosity makes him at one point uneasy. Especially when he takes a look into what you’re studying and realizes with dread that you look after portals to other worlds. He confronts you about it, slightly paranoid that you plan to leave him yet you’re quick to calm him down. With Reiji suspicious and refusing to tell you more, you become more careful and to hide your studies, you start faking interest in other things. He still observes you sharply.

☕️Honestly considers to poison Yui somehow if it wouldn’t be for your equally watching eye and the fact that you want to try her meals first. Even if you’re immortal, he would never want you to consume anything but the best. Reiji sees you above the rest, especially Yui and humans like her, is slightly exasperated with your nice treatment towards her. He despises the relationship between you two and is actually the first one to fear that you might plan to flee. Your interest in other worlds pop up in his mind and he observes you two even closer yet is left severely hurt and disappointed in himself when he realizes that you’ve still escaped with her. Reiji knows how you escaped though, informs the others before they tear the house apart that you’re most likely in a completely new world with Yui by now. He completely isolates himself in his room, spends weeks without sleep to find a way in his books to follow you. The others try to do research too but he always snaps at them to leave as he sees that most of them are too dumb to help him.

Ayato Sakamaki

🥇Ayato is incredibly cocky and possessive, stays his whole life childishly demanding of you and your time. He has troubles even trying to act like he can somehow tolerate his brothers, he dislikes them for they take time he should spend with you away from him. He gets so often in fights too and ends up crying when you scold him for it. He guilt-trips just as much though, uses his horrible mother as a way to claim your time and cling to you as much as he can. Despises how you praise Reiji for his intelligence and tries to beat him in that aspect but grows frustrated when he realizes that Reiji is still better than him. Instead he grows to be the best in everything else as a way to make up for that failure, always ends up manipulating you into praising him for his achievements so he can bask in your pride and admiration.

🥇Ayato remains quite oblivious to your sadness. You hide it well and he’s overly focused on other things most of the time. The boy wants to be praised to no end from you to boost his ego and feel like he’s the best from all his siblings. Sometimes he notices though, how you stare somewhere else and a short sadness flashes on your face. It bothers him, although not because he wants you to be happy. Ayato believes himself to be the best so you shouldn’t be gloomy when you have him as your younger brother. He might be angry with you, blame you for not knowing how to appreciate his hard work and him since otherwise you wouldn’t be sad. It’s a way to manipulate you into feeling bad and frankly spoken, he’s quick to forget if you compliment him enough after.

🥇He doesn’t even really try to conceal his hatred for the little plaything over there. He’s openly infuriated when you defend her and look out for her, yells at her that she’s just a useless, little bitch and might even snap a bit at you. It quickly earns him the rage of all his other brothers and worst, your cold shoulder for a while. He’s sadistic, wants to make Yui regret ever stepping into this house. This sadistic wish turns into pure lust to kill when he discovers that you’ve escaped with the bitch, apparently even into another world. Lashes out at Reiji for not informing them sooner about his suspicion and pretty much everyone inside the room. His own anger is a way to cover up his incredibly broken heart for now and the nagging question why you left him for a mere human. Once he’s alone in his room, hot tears start to escape his eyes, he probably even screams his overwhelming pain and anger out. He doesn’t know what to do without his sister, hates how he feels like a helpless, little boy again. He swears that he will find you though, no matter what.

Kanato Sakamaki

🧸Kanato is a nightmare for you since he literally threatens to hurt himself if you don’t pay attention to him. He’s usually only there when his mother sees use for him otherwise he’s mostly cast aside. But who cares about Cordelia anyways when he’s hyper focused on his gorgeous sister? His doll, his beauty, the only one who can keep him somewhat sane. Kanato is clingy and very spiteful, as soon as you spend time with one of the other boys he throws a tantrum even worse than Ayato and accuses you of not being a good sister. He designs his dolls after you and the clothes you wear, kills any female who has your pretty hair or beautiful eyes since you’re the only woman allowed to be as pretty as a goddess. Kanato is essentially a ticking time bomb, needs his tea parties and times with you.

🧸You’re mentally shot around Kanato the most, especially when he comes running to you with bloody hands and arms and wants you to take care of him. Kanato is the most paranoid and is always terrified when you leave him before he turns infuriated as soon as he sees that you’ve ditched him for someone else. Because you know that, you’re constantly walking on egg shells around him. You know that as soon as he’d find out, he’d do something terrible to either you, others or himself, in the worst case all three of those possibilities. As long as you play along with him and make him happy, Kanato won’t assume anything but he’s already highly paranoid as it is. The older he gets, the more of a menace he becomes yet he continues to behave like a needy child around you.

🧸Kanato wants to murder Yui pretty much the moment his sister starts to spend time with her and protect her from him and others. He’s so trigger-happy, has already murdered for his sister so he’s one of the biggest dangers for Yui and you know that. Most of the time he stares in an intense and creepy way since you keep him away and are protected by the rest of the brothers since they’re aware of his problems. He has the worst meltdown from all when you flee with Yui. At first he screams hysterically that the letter is a lie, that you’re still here yet tries to strangle Reiji when he admits to having had the suspicion for longer that you wanted to get away to a new world. He trashes around, he cries, clutches Teddy tightly to his chest and starts to scream that he’s going to brutally rip that human girl apart for taking his cherished sister away from him. Kanato avoids his brothers afterwards and they avoid him or otherwise he might lose it again and attack someone. His sanity is shot, he even makes a doll that resembles you and talks with it.

Laito Sakamaki

🎹Laito is quite cunning and sly. He doesn’t really care about his mother anymore despite being pretty much the forgotten triplet yet he knows perfectly that you feel bad for him. So why not use that situation to his advantage? Honestly, it’s weird how he goes from depressed and teary-eyed to chipper and happy as soon as you promise him to spend time with him. He plays the piano for you, he likes to play outside with you and soon learns that the fact that he’s ignored by his mother so much is a blessing. Laito gets to spend so much time with you and rubs it Ayato and Shu under their noses. He tries to talk bad about all of his brothers yet you shake your head, don’t let his words get to you. He even rejects his mother when she tries to make a move on him, ridicules her for her sudden desperation.

🎹He only needs his dear sister after all and when she threatens his sister, Laito instantly has a psychopathic turn. A Cheshire grin on his face as he tells her with the devil’s eyes that he’ll kill her if she ever tries. Since you’re the only person he really pays attention to and since Laito tries to read your emotions to manipulate you, he becomes aware of your melancholic and sad moments every once in a while. Slyly asking won’t help him to his great disappointment and he gets pouty about the secret you keep from him. It’s only when he stalks you a bit and happen to eavesdrop on a conversation between you and Reiji becomes he aware of your interest in other worlds. He draws an assumption that he doesn’t like but attempts to ask you secretly about anyways.

🎹Yui is nothing more than a blood bag to feed from, she’s no equal in his eyes. He’s a brooding type so Laito keeps his complete hatred away from Yui, at least as soon as it becomes obvious that you care for her. He’s not dumb, knows that you grow quite harsh against anyone who tries to hurt her but his green eyes never leave you two whenever you are in the same room. He’ll kill her eventually. That’s initially his plan yet you run away with Yui long before that happens, leaving him with a growing pain inside his heart. His facial expression is icy and cold as he bottles down all of his emotions for now but can’t mention to make any comments. Only when Reiji admits his suspicion he had for years now does he show a small reaction, piercing eyes staring angrily at him. He knew about your interest too, had his own suspicions but can’t admit that out loud. He’s too ashamed of himself and there’s already one person who takes the blame. He cries and laughs simultaneously as soon as he’s left alone, a grin on his face as he swears to drag his sister back. Seems like he’ll have to expose a ugly side.

Subaru Sakamaki

⬜️Subaru can at first only really watch his sister from the distance. He’s been told multiple times that he’s a cruel monster and for that reason believes that you’d be just afraid of him if you’d ever get to know him. He pushes you initially away, afraid to be hurt. Yet once you’ve seen his violent outburst and still acknowledge him for it, he grows instantly attached. He’s aware of the messed up situation you’re in, aware of how everyone manipulates you. He knows that yet is unable to act any differently since he’s possessive and greedy for genuine affection and someone who doesn’t call him a mistake and monster. He’s isolated as it is and uses that to convince you to stay longer with him even if he feels guilty soon after. He’s not better than any of his brothers, is he? He tries to be extra good to make up for it.

⬜️The boy swears to himself though that as soon as he’s old enough, he’ll free you from this hell. That he’ll be able to properly protect you and make you happy since you sometimes downright exhaust yourself to make everyone happy. Subaru tries to appreciate his strength a bit after you’ve helped him to suppress his violent side better. With this strength he can protect you after all and soon after he starts training in order to grow even stronger. His brothers are threatened with his brute strength at one point. He knows the stories you sometimes tell him about whether or not another world is there. As a child fascinated with it, he wonders throughout the years if there’s more when he notices that sad glimmer in your eyes that appears as soon as you talk about it with him. He hates your sadness.

⬜️Subaru is the most conflicted about Yui and the growing friendship between his sister and her. On the one hand it’s the first female you’ve met since eternities and Yui is tame and nice in comparison to all of the Sakamaki boys, refreshing and needed for you. You’re happy and that has Subaru hesitating for so long. Something he regrets when one day your room is empty and Yui and you are gone, only a farewell letter remaining. He starts shaking, sees red and destroys a wall or two in his rage, tears streaming down his face. He wants to deny so badly that you abandoned him for Yui as all the moments you two shared together flash before his inner eye. Wasn’t your bond with him strong enough? Was he not enough for you? Behind that violence hides a wounded dog ever after, one who is mentally torn apart. On the one hand he knows that you’re right now probably happier than you ever were when in this world but he misses you like crazy. Subaru eventually is possessed by his darker side, his rage and pain taking control over him.

#yandere diabolik lovers #yandere shu #yandere shu sakamaki #yandere reiji #yandere reiji sakamaki #yandere ayato #yandere ayato sakamaki #yandere kanato #yandere kanato sakamaki #yandere laito #yandere laito sakamaki #yandere subaru #yandere subaru sakamaki #platonic yandere

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chemicalcarousel · 1 year

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The fawn response is such a horrible struggle to deal with

TW // SA , child abuse , death threats

We are survivors of early childhood trauma and when you are a toddler, you can't fight or flee your own parent. This leaves you with two other options - freeze and fawn. While freeze left us totally defenceless, fawn gave us a fake sense of control. If we please our abuser, they won't kill us. If we "go along", it was our choice and we have the power to navigate our abuser. We can play the game and survive by making them satisfied. All this was of course subconsciously learned as we were abused since birth

While fawning made a lot of sense when we were 4 years old and at the mercy of a grown adult that we lived with 24/7, it is very maladaptive when it happens in our everyday life as a 27 year old person, who's physically removed from our abusers

I will now share some personal experiences involving sexual harassment/abuse:

We struggle with men sexually harassing us online and we can't say no. We try to send them signals with a shaky voice, like "I don't know" or "I'm not sure", but they never pick up on it. We've ended up having some sort of video call sex with a guy once while we were drunk and through the entire time, we just wanted it to be over and forget about it. Because of the fawn response, we couldn't leave the call, couldn't block the person, and couldn't close the app. Physically, it was always possible with no true consequences, but our nervous system stopped us from using any other defence response. We just acted without much control at all. A part of us stuck in time from when we were a toddler took control and just did what they were told. We felt horrible afterwards and blamed ourselves for not setting clear enough boundaries. But this fawning response didn't change when the same kinds of online harassment happened again and again

We've had men pressuring us into rating their dicks and their jerk off videos and again, instead of just leaving the call and reporting them, we just tried to please them. We were stuck in a flashback and just acting, not thinking. A poor "inner child" was trying to protect us by satisfying strangers' sexual needs. And we felt so fucking disgusting and stupid for it

I'm sharing this story in case other people might feel alone in their struggle with fawning. You're not alone and you're not disgusting. Your body and mind are trying to protect you. Be compassionate with yourself. We are on this healing journey together

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undiscovered-horizon · 2 years

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Can i ask for a dark! Peter Parker that is super clingy?

[TW: mentions of suicide, self-harm, unhealthy relationships, involuntary drug consumption]

>>500 followers special!<<

Clingy Dark!Peter Parker

It's exam season and I'm panicking how's life going for yall

Clingy Peter is like a koala bear

Just hangs on to you and doesn't let go

Except that koala bear is completely unhinged, so more like a drop bear really

Two weeks into the relationship he was ready to get married tbh

Has he drugged you to cuddle you a little longer? Most definitely

More than once probably, rip your liver

Would deliberately hurt himself to have your attention

"Pretends" to be a danger to himself

(he already is, just tends to embellish it with very dramatic acting)

"I don't want to hurt myself when you're around"

Definitely has threatened/hinted that he would kill himself as a last resort to have you stay with him -> not necessarily in a break-up situation, even a "it's late and I should go home" situation

Fake crying/meltdown/breakdown so you hug him

"No, no, no, don't leave me!"

You were just going to the store

If you pay too much attention to someone else, even a relative, he goes through a legitimate depressive episode

If he doesn't have your undivided attention he will make up a wild story to have you pity love him

His hand is constantly on or around you

Gets fidgety and irritable when you're not around

Camps out outside the bathrooms waiting for you but only because you started a fight once about a grown man going into the women's restroom

Whatever you're doing, wherever you're going, he's coming with you

Your friends regularly point out how unhealthy that is, so Peter gets quietly angry: he can't have you believe them

He might or might not have bludgeoned some of them into a near-death state

The blood on him is because he hurt himself and he needs your attention...right?

If you manage to hang out on your own or with someone, Peter's stalking you without a doubt

If you don't text/call him back right away, he starts to genuinely panic

Scares away any man you know (the ancient art of threats, blackmailing and caving someone's face in), maybe except for a male parental figure if you have one - it would be very counter-productive to have your parents/guardians wary of him

I feel like he would easily worm his way into your mother's/female parental figure's heart with that sheepish look he has

Asks if you still love him like three times a day at least

Stalks your social media and gets upset at any mention/picture that involves someone else

Peter's thoughts would spiral if you as much as don't give him a forehead kiss first thing in the morning

For him it's an immediate sign you're probably angry or hate him and that's he's not good enough and you love someone else and-

No, you're just still sleepy and detached from reality

If you're anything but chipper he's preparing for you to confess your hatred towards him, which, let's be honest, is not going to happen anytime soon

His hugs crush bones and suffocate, Peter's like a scared toddler holding a teddy bear

Which is a pretty good analogy, really: he's terrified of you leaving him (in any sense of the word) and he's convinced that aside from you there is nothing worth living for

If you're just doing some chores around the house, he's either helping you or following you around

You could be cooking or ironing and he's just standing there, back hugging you silently

Because of his clearly unstable emotional state, you developed a habit of frequently telling him you love him and asking him if he's okay

Peter's a huge fan of that

You can barely talk to anyone without him getting upset, so he's easily alienating you from your social circles

_______

@restingbitchsblog

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fallfromgrace-cas · 6 months

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I've been having some funky dreams and my spouse said I should start journaling them since parts are recurring, so here we go.

TW: mentions of suicidal thoughts/actions, depressive thoughts, and threat of pregnancy loss but only briefly!

I'm pregnant currently and I know that can cause vivid dreams (this isn't my first pregnancy.) But my dream involved the cast of Superstore, but it was set in space on a space ship. Amy was the ship captain and everyone else (main cast) was there, too.

The first part of the dream involved me and other folks remodeling the commissary to be les chaotic and cleaned up and I remember really focusing on cleaning the kids corner (even though I saw so children in this dream). We were all very proud once we were done.

Then there was a big speech in this huge auditorium setting where Amy and everyone sorta decided to do what they wanted as they have been micromanaged for too long, so as per usual in the show, things go of the rails pretty quickly. People were not following safety protocols and they launched indoor fireworks and pyrotechnics for this beauty pageant that was going on and one of the fuzzy sounndproof thingies caught fire, so Amy, someone else, and I worked together to try and wrangle the people and put out the fire. The work took a toll on Amy and she grabbed her briefcase and walked up this huge wooden staircase like in the movie, Titanic.

Now the perspective of the dream shifted to where I was now Amy. I heard people whispering and mentioning that I looked awful and some woman said "it's her awful mental health." I remember feeling really bummed as Amy and really depressed. I kept walking up the stairs and Jonah from Superstore was following close behind because he knew something was off. I/Amy made it up to the top of the stairs and I just jumped off this very tall stairs. Jonah grabbed my hand right as I was beginning to fall, but we both fell. I remember feeling the weight of Jonah's hand and the weightlessness you feel when you're falling. Then as I/we hit the ground, her perspective went black.

Then it shifted back to my perspective. I ran up from the back of the shop to the middle by the stairs and saw the commotion. Amy was not there, but Jonah was. I asked him what happened and he was banged up and his face was stricken with tears and I remember looking into his glassy, red, tear-filled eyes where he said that Amy jumped and "killed her baby."

Note: this along with the jump are what stuck with me the most and I've been thinking about it all day. :(

We saw an ambulance arrive to pick up Amy as she survived her jump and it seemed that the baby was okay! But as this was happening, the dream shifted to a weird burglary/heist sorta thing where a group of 4 space pirates decided to rob the ship and try to steal Amy's suitcase because it had all the ship's confidential and financial info in it. But myself along with a kitchen chef Home Aloned these pirates and saved our information, so yay! And Amy made a full recovery while also now speaking Spanish and English? That's how everyone knew she was okay?

THEN the dream made an even more dramatic shift and ended with Amy and Jonah getting married and all of us having to do a Superstore college test, but Amy came back in her wedding dress and all after leaving the reception saying that we didn't have to do the test and we could go home.

Then my toddler woke me up for the day. HOW BONKERS IS THIS? What in the world is bothering me?

#personal #alyssa's dreams #tw: suicidal thoughts #tw: suicidal actions #tw: threat of pregnancy loss #i wanted to add the possible triggers here!

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pathsofoak · 2 years

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🤡, 🧠 & 📚

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

Okay okay. So there's this bit in TEH where this outside 'charity' organization comes into WCKD to keep an eye on the kids (WCKD set up in an independent Safe Zone, this is a requirement for them to be allowed to stay). Now this organization is secretely the Right Arm, but the kids don't know that.

So the entire session long, Newt just keeps his mouth shut. Like doesn't speak at all. Not a word, he just stares at this therapist he assumes to be a spy.

Janson is very pissed off, because it doesn't help WCKD's reputation at all: (tw for passive suicidality on Newt's part. He still thinks he's terminally ill, he's not).

The spoiler is for some passive suicidality on Newt's part

“Tell me what I did wrong,” Newt challenged. “Enlighten me.”

Janson’s nose twitched. “Watch your tone.”

“Tell Rutter to watch were his punches go and maybe we can make a deal.”

Janson scoffed and shook his head. “Don’t test me. I assure you it’s a really bad idea.”

“What are you going to do?” Newt asked. “Take the serum away? Be my guest, speed it up. I don’t care. The others will be fine enough without me.” Part of it was a bluff, but enough of it wasn’t. “We both know there’s not a lot you can do to me without killing me and crank or not, you happen to need me. Tell me what I did wrong? You can make any threat you want. My last day is only coming closer, so you can do whatever you want after anyway. Your word means nothing.”

Janson seethed in front of him. “I—”

He didn’t have more to say than that. For once even Janson understood there wouldn’t be a word with any worth that left his mouth.

“Am a shuckface and a slinthead, and anyone’s better off if they just replaced you with a rat,” Newt continued for him. “Tell me which rule I broke and I’ll happily pay the price.”

Janson had nothing more to say.

🧠 Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them.

I'm going with Chuck here, because my boy 🥺

I have this hc that he secretely absolutely loves to snuggle. Like he'd pick up a book (he's a big but slow reader in my mind too) and just huddle with someone as he reads. Or maybe he's carving and he'll just tuck under someone's arm.

I have so many soft Chuck headcanons seriously. He's a cuddler. Defintely clung to someone's leg as a toddler. It's happened at least once that he fell asleep while doing his thing and whoever he was sitting with just. Refused to move.

Maybe in bookverse he'd be a bit more secretive about it because of the mood there, though. Movieverse Alby tucked him in on his first night.

Not really a hc and unrelated to the previous one but in the next part of my fic Thomas stays in his hammock for two days straight because he feels he shouldn't be in the Safe Haven, and refuses to even look at it.

Chuck gets him out in the middle of the night by joking he must really have to pee.

Thomas is really grumbly about it at first but once he's out and on his feet and he comes back (yeah. He had to pee.) He hugs Chuck properly for the first time since they escaped the Maze.

📚 Would you ever want to turn writing into a career?

Maybe? I mean I have connections in my home country and I've had ideas of my own, but I do like fic more. Atm this fandom is like this cozy little place for me and I probably wouldn't be in the same environment in a real career. I like how with fanfic there's no need to be really professional and punctual about things, no deadlines, etc. Idk I think.

#Chuck is scared of the dark in part five and Jorge helps teach Gally how to find a way to get a battery-powered night light fixed #also his duck he has this stuffed animal that's a duck and it's the perfect size for squishy cuddles #my ideal vision of Chuck is him safe and soft and able to be a kid can you tell?#I've subjected him to so much angst tho #but it's gonna be over soon #plus he gets a member of his pre-WCKD family back #I shared the same excerpt in word-wars a while back in june fjdjjd

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subpar-ghoulfriend · 3 years

Text

Live In Nanny Pt 2

Villain!All Might x Reader

All Might raising baby Deku but is in desperate need of a nanny (Pt 2). The morning after and basically wayyyy to long so the smut is gonna have to be in pt 3. (word count: a little over 2k)

pt 1 here

TW: Yandere themes, day after dub con, reader is held against their will

You were sore. Your hips, wrists, back, pussy, everything ached. A silky sheet was the only thing covering your bare form. You could feel that you were alone in bed, Toshi's bulkiness was no longer weighing down the mattress. It must be mid morning because light was streaming through the curtains. Maybe if you remained still you could absorb into the mattress. Not only because of your tender body, but because you would prefer to never see your boss again. But speak of the devil. "Are we staying in bed all day?" You groaned. Hating how he worded his question. We. It was condescending, patronizing, and somehow filled you with butterflies. Something was placed on the bed, definitely not heavy enough to be Toshi. And then you realized, not something but a tiny someone. Baby Izuku crawled over to you, babbling, and tapped your sore shoulder. "Morning, Zuzu," You mumbled. Your joints crackled to life and you tightened the covers so you could face the little one. Behind him the clock read 11:00 am. "I need to get dressed." The villain cocked his head, "I tossed your clothes in the laundry do you want me to go get something from your closet?" No, you didn't want him running through your belongings. He would probably make a mess. "Just give me one of your shirts." That provided you enough modesty to get to your room and you were surprised the menace didn't follow. You scrubbed your body raw under the shower, subconsciously punishing yourself for taking pleasure from the night before. You were frustrated. Clean and covered in giant sweat pants and a hoodie you stormed into the living room where Toshi sat watching izuku entertain himself. "I quit." There was a pause. You tried not to look at the child. He would sway your resolve. This didn't have anything to do with him, it was between you and his father. "Alright." Oh. He wasn't going to challenge you? Figures, the man got what he wanted from you. You turned on your heels and rushed back to your room. You didn't own much so it wasn't hard to shove your belongings back into the suitcase. Opening your bedside drawer you froze. Your keys and phone were missing. This was their spot. The dedicated key-and-phone drawer. You check the room once, twice, then Izuku's room, the playroom, the kitchen. "Where are my keys?" You hissed, to hell with the phone you could buy a replacement. "Why would you need those," His voice was taunting. You felt your fists ball up and your nails dug into your palms. You stomped your foot like a frustrated child. "Because I'm leaving, I quit, now give me my keys." "I agreed you can quit, if that's what makes you feel better. I didn't say anything about leaving." The tension could be cut with a knife. He wasn't speaking or moving, he was eerily looming. In the other room Izuku was getting fussy. It knotted your stomach not going to check on him, but you kept your eyes on the villain. Toshinori was the first one to move, he went to check on his son. Clearly you weren't a threat. You could do without the keys, even sacrifice your suitcase. You made it all the way to the front door where you expected him to be, but he wasn't. He was with Izuku. With a twist at the knob the door didn't budge. You tried once more before angrily shaking the door. All Might called for you, "I told you that you aren't leaving. It's a two way security system but feel free to keep trying." When did he install this? You didn't see anything obvious like a box or camera indicating a security system. You could've thrown a fit or tried to break open the window but you had a feeling you wouldn't make it far. "What are you getting at?" You asked, rejoining the father-son duo. "Nothing aside from what we discussed last night in bed," he was making your cheeks burn red. "Making sure we stay a happy family." By the tone of his voice you knew there was no room for discussion. He didn't chastise you for slamming the door your room. He didn't pester you through out the day. He didn't even open your door to tell you he made dinner. He came by later to tell you (through the door) that he left you a plate in case you get hungry. By midnight you were. You tip toed down the hall, peeking into to the nursery to see Izuku fast asleep. You scarfed down the food before crawling back to bed. --- The next day you shuffled out of bed and into Izuku's room where you picked up the quiet but awake baby. You were gentle as you combed through his green curls with your fingers. He was still warm the way babies gets when they sleep. Holding him soothed you. Toshi melted when he saw you two curled up on the couch. He didn't want to ruin the mood so he stayed out of your line of sight for a few more minutes. Finally he entered the threshold of the room, "I'm heading out for the day but I won't be out late." You could've ignored him, but Izuku's grubbing hands were grabbing for his daddy. You had been defeated by the toddler. You weren't a monster. You moved toward your now ex-employer so he could tell his son goodbye. Goodbye before he goes off to commit atrocities. Toshi kissed the child’s chubby cheeks without removing him from your arms. He was too close for comfort. You took an awkward half step back before his huge hand caught your hair. With a tug, your chin jutted forward and he pressed his lips to yours. "Zuku, keep an eye on mommy," Chuckling as he stepped out the front door. Your mind was fuzzy for a moment before looked down at the boy on your hip who was giggling and clapping his hands together. --- The jovial villain was focused at work. He was on edge, quiet and irritable. Eager to return home and help you with his son. All Might wasn't delusional — well at least not entirely. He anticipated that this would be a rough time for you, but you were a good girl, you would adjust.

When he placed that ad to scout for someone to watch Izuku he didn't plan for this. But you were so perfect. He ached for you in a way he never hurt before. Had you been anyone else he would've killed you when you found out his villainous ways. But no, he could never bring himself to harm you. God, you even took the news in stride. Yeah, you weren't thrilled and may have walked out of their lives if he hadn't stopped you; but you weren't trashing his house or treating Izuku any differently.

And you were so pretty underneath him, whimpering while you took his length, your nails digging into the man's shoulders when he released into you. You slept like a rock afterwards, rolling unconsciously into him. Your body sought his comfort, knowing you were safe with him. He just needed to give you time to adjust.

--- It didn't take long for you to stop leaving the room any time he entered. And soon you were back to your normal routine of caring for the child and keeping up with the house. You resumed playing around with Izuku and began reading a ton of books to the boy. You told Toshi that Izuku could even pick which books he wanted you to read. It was nice that you were talking to him again, sometimes making jabs at his life choices and always kept a distance between yourself and him. Izuku was becoming quite the talker, well the babbler because he hasn't said his first word yet. He was figuring it out though. He knew he could say 'Ap-ap' for apple or to get picked up. You were sure he would say his first word any day. --- The three of you were in the living room when it happened. Izuku was watching some baby show, the first "lesson" was colors and the little one did his best to make nonsensical noises. The next subject was family members. Siblings, sister, brother. Parents. Mom, mommy, mama. Dad, daddy, papa. Grandma, grandpa. Aunt, auntie. Uncle. Over and over again until the show was done. Toshi looked at the izuku who was wearing the face of a thinker. He looked at his dad, the little one was trying to get something of importance out. You both cheered for him once he finally got out the word "papa." It was cute to see the man beam with pride, even though he was a villain. The butterflies were breaking out of their cocoons again. --- Toshi didn't get much alone time with his son and he liked it that way. That meant you were with them. But when he did get time with son he worked on teaching the boy that you were the mommy. Mama. And Izuku would try to repeat but hadn’t quite got it. --- You were struggling to maintain your composure in between watching the news and cooking dinner. All Might was robbing a bank. There were hostages. You recognized the location immediately as a bank you passed almost daily before working for Toshinori. Did you know anyone inside? A small part of you worried for the man, probably because you were thinking of him as Izuku's father rather than a villain. You shut the TV off when you heard Izuku start to wake from his nap.

That night you couldn't help but notice a slice on his arm; it was superficial, not even bleeding but enough to draw out the question: Why do you do it? It's easy, he shrugged. All Might never initiated an attack unprovoked nor directed his actions towards helpless civilians. He stole, dabbled in the black market, and made sure everyone knew not to mess with him or anyone in his circle.

You just couldn't understand. When Zuku gets older he will ask questions. All little boys idolize their dads. What if someone tried to hurt the boy?

The two of you were whisper yelling with each other. You more so than Toshi but he was still running low on patience; it had been a long day, after all. Izuku was picking up on the changing atmosphere, watching you both through furrowed brows, the quiver in his lip worsening. You stopped when you heard the whimpering begin. He was a sensitive child. Maybe you just needed to sleep. Toshi picked up the baby, bouncing Zuku in the way that always prevented tantrums and wails. He kept babbling and you could tell he was doing his best not to cry. You started to head towards your room when a cry broke out for 'mama.' This time it wasn't Toshi “putting you in your place”. This time it was Izuku.

"It's okay, Zuzu," Toshi soothed. "Mommy just needs a minute."

The crushing realization of just how trapped you were knocked the wind out of you. You couldn't leave the house. Toshi was always being too kind and patient. Somehow he managed to teach Izuku that you were his mommy. The most infamous villain had ensnared you and no matter what he wasn’t letting go. You would never be able to convince him to leave you alone and you'd never be able to leave Izuku.

You were tired of stubbornly holding out. Pathetic tears cascaded down your face, gentle and oddly relieving. Izuku practically leapt into your arms. The tot clung to you and his crying calmed down. you turned away, not able to look at the man.

"Are you going to think the worst of me forever?" Toshinori whispered. Maybe? Probably not. It was hard to tell. You didn't want to.

He continued, "I'm a good father, I would never let anyone hurt Izuku. Or you. Sure I don't have a lot of redeeming qualities but there are some."

You were tired of being stuck inside. It wasn't good for Izuku either. You wouldn't admit it but you weren't so sure you would abandon them even if given the chance. You were tired of trying to hate the man behind you. Tired of pretending you didn't fantasize about that night when you were alone in bed. Toshi moved right behind you and you relaxed against his huge chest. He was surprised and hesitant to move in case he frightened you to your senses. He couldn't just stand there though, that would be weird. Two thick arms wrapped around waist. "Tomorrow I wanna take Izuku to the park," You whispered. Toshi was equally defeated.

"Okay."

---

After putting Izuku to bed you made your way down the hall. The shower in Toshinori's bathroom was running. That was fine. You needed a moment to collect your thoughts. If this was going to work without you feeling like a hostage he was going to have to be open to loosing the reigns.

He was surprised to see you in his room when he exited the bathroom in nothing more than a pair of sweatpants.

"More fighting?" He cocked an eyebrow.

You shook your head, "I hate All Might, just as much as I hate every other villain. But when you come home I don't see All Might, I just see Toshinori, Izuku's dad. That's the man I care about and no matter how much I fight it I can't stop caring."

It was hard to keep eye contact with him but you continued, "I want to be with you and Izuku, not with All Might. And I want to be here on my own accord. I want to be able to go out with Izuku and with you. Can't we just try that?"

You didn't come in here to berate him again? Or to demand to leave? His heart softened as he realized that the person he wanted, wanted him back. You were willing to remain in their lives.

"I can try that."

Toshi trained his eyes on your body, fighting every instinct to close the space between. But you moved first, gingerly placing your hand on his shoulder to steady yourself as you straddled his lap.

"Can I sleep in here tonight? I want you to hold me," You whispered.

He nodded and rested his forehead against the crook of your neck. "Is that all you want from me tonight?"

#bnha yandere #yandere #yandere x reader #mha yandere #all might x reader #villain all might #all smite #toshinori yagi x reader

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sinnamonn · 3 years

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Slashers I’d Survive Because I’m Built Different

This was just sitting in Docs so here it is. TW for being vaguely nsfw at some points.

Chucky- I would be consumed with rage upon seeing him, simply being reminded of all the annoying toddlers throwing tantrums in stores, screaming in quiet areas, and just annoying me. I’d go feral and kick him into the sun, punting that motherfucker like a football.

Pennywise- I’m not afraid of clowns, a Capricorn, and a mean bisexual. I’m a triple threat. He’d go back to the sewer crying.

Billy Lenz- spray him with lysol and then push him out of the attic, killing him instantly.

Michael- I do not care about him, I’d ignore him until he goes away.

Jason- *gives him a neat rock*

The Firefly Fam- I can easily match their energy and end up getting adopted by them. Also I’d make Baby fall in love with me.

Brahms- Put that mf in timeout and just fucking leave .

Jigsaw- Gaslight him

Amanda- Date her

Vincent Sinclair- I’m an art hoe and art history nerd, along with being hot and funny. I’d compliment his art and ask about his inspirations. He’d fall in love with me instantly.

Norman Bates- He’s into taxidermy, I collect bones. We’d just become hobby buddies. I’d become his, “excuse me, he asked for no pickles,” person.

The Sawyer family- I’d simply not go to rural Texas

Chromeskull- I did the math and I’m exactly at dicksucking height.

Freddy- I am not afraid of him, he runs like he shit himself and laughs at his own jokes. I’d destroy him.

Jennifer Check- I’d literally just let her do what she’s doing, love to see a #girlboss winning

Carrie White- I’d literally die for her. I’d beat up all her bullies and let her move in with me. We’d go to therapy together.

Ghost face (billy and stu)- I’d answer all their trivia questions correctly. Legally, they can’t do anything about it.

Leslie Vernon- We’re both adhd bitches with horror hyperfixations. We’d go off about Puritan moral codes and phallic/yonic symbolism in film so much he’d forget he was supposed to kill me.

Herbert West- He’s STEM and I’m liberal arts, we would not interact. I also refuse to be nerfed by some mf named Herbert.

#slashers #michael myers #jason voorhees #vincent sinclair #chromeskull #brahms the boy #🍒giacore🍒#self insert writing #🖤 romantic #💚 platonic #self insert

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fishstyx · 3 years

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russian roulette.

featuring. nagito komaeda x fem!reader

wc. 2.0k

genre. smut, dark/taboo

tw. 18+ nsfw, noncon, penetration, gunplay, degradation/humiliation

synopsis. nagito follows you into the final dead room and shows you the proper way to play russian roulette. drv2 spoilers/context (chapter 4) ahead.

“And just what do you think you’re doing here?” Nagito says from behind you, his sudden utterance booming off the solid concrete surroundings. An uncharacteristic disgust drips from his every word, drawn out so painfully slowly that you’re convinced he thinks you a mere toddler.

“Playing the Life-Threatening Game,” you reply as nonchalantly as possible, but he’s caught you unawares. You startle even as you speak, the shudder of your body undoubtedly making its way into your voice. You’re sure that the door had locked behind you, so just how did he manage to slip in while the game was still in progress? Not to mention that the person in front of you doesn’t truly seem like Nagito Komaeda. Sure, he’s always had his quirks, but right now it feels like you’re talking to… somebody else.

“With only one bullet?” is Nagito’s only response as he creeps toward you, frown deepening when you back away, gun clutched to your chest.

“And what about it?” You do your best to plaster on a brave face, but your arm hits the wall behind you and you’re suddenly hyper-aware of how small, how suffocating the Final Dead Room is with another person in it. He lets out a heavy sigh as he corners you, box of bullets in hand. The clatter of metal rings in your ears when he presses you into the blood-stained walls, leaning into your ear to whisper:

“That’s not nearly enough.” He fishes the revolver from your shaky hand with ease, the clinking of extra bullets following soon after. “Even someone like you understands, don’t you?” He loads round after round into the gun, pressing bullets into each chamber until they’re flush against the cylinder surface, and it’s all you can do just to watch. “That the payout of this game rests upon the difficulty you set it to.”

On top of you still, he picks the sixth bullet up and waves it in your face, almost mockingly. “It’s safe to assume that the killer, a coward among cowards, played it safe and loaded a single bullet same as you did. And as for me—well, I’ve already cleared the highest level.” Sliding the final bullet in with a click, he pushes the cylinder back into the gun frame with marked familiarity. “At least, I thought it was the highest level.”

“H...huh? Highest level?” you wonder as loud as you dare, earning a scoff from Nagito.

“And here I was thinking you could follow along with a simple explanation. How short-sighted of me. Well, you can save your questions for later.” Smirking at the sight of your mouth agape, he spins the cylinder before you can interrupt again. “As I was saying, I only thought I was playing at the highest level. But thinking back on it now...” His face draws close to yours, hot breath tickling your skin as he rests the muzzle flat against your quivering lips. “Wouldn’t it be something if you survived this?”

Holy shit.

You struggle under Nagito’s weight, legs going weak under the looming threat of death. How did you let this happen? One wrong move and you’d be nothing but an addition to the bloodstains behind you. “T-This isn’t funny, Nagito.” Your lips tremble around the revolver, heavy and icy to the touch, when it doesn’t budge an inch.

“What I’m trying to say,” he continues, unfazed, “is that your efforts will be pointless if you don’t go all out here. We’ll learn nothing new if I let you play the way you want to.” You hear the words, and yet you can’t make sense of them. Not when the classmate before you holds your very life in his hand.

“Nagito, please—” you say more forcefully, heart pounding all the while.

“Please what?”

“P-Please put the gun down.” But one look at his face and you know he’s not having it.

“Oh, so you’re not going to pull the trigger? Even if I do it with you?” Sheer disappointment crosses Nagito’s features as he deliberates, armed hand never so much as faltering. He studies your face in silence, the break from his ranting more eerie than comforting. The temperature of the room drops several degrees when he finally speaks again.

“Oh, I know.” He lowers the gun only to drag it down your neck and along your chest, drawing wide circles around your buds. “Hopeless halfwits like you need a little incentive, don’t you think?”

“That’s not what I—”

You’re cut off by your own sharp inhale as the gun presses into your abdomen, tracing the outline of your thighs and traveling even lower still. It runs up and down that sensitive spot between your legs, poking and prodding near your deepest nooks and crannies, testing for a reaction. And he eventually gets one, a soft groan tumbling past your lips when he grinds the muzzle against your clit—and although clothed, it sends waves of electricity straight to your core.

“You were saying?” Nagito laughs when you fail to respond, mortified by your own body’s betrayal. It’s as if you’re frozen in time. Your heart practically leaps out your chest and your eyes, wide as saucers, flicker from the gun to Nagito, Nagito to the gun, and back again. It feels like an entire lifetime passes you by when he continues to brush against the sensitive nub, chasing after another reaction, but you’re paralyzed now. You watch in slow motion as he grows impatient, fingers dipping below your waistband, pulling your panties down just far enough for the tip of the barrel to kiss your bare cunt.

Move. Move. Move, you tell yourself. Your head throbs and your fingers twitch. He can’t kill you, not in the middle of an investigation. Not when another student was just murdered. Not unless...

You search Nagito’s cat-like eyes for some glimmer of humanity, a silent plea, a probe into the void itself—one that leaves you with more questions than answers.

Not unless he’s the killer himself.

With the wicked smile he’s sporting, much too twisted and much too wide, you don’t doubt it for a second. But he gives you no time for critical thought, instead plunging the gun deep inside your pulsating pussy, not a moment spared to prep you.

Your back arches instinctively; you weren’t ready for this, not in a million years would you ever be ready for a pistol to slide inside you, such a cold and stiff thing spreading your walls without so much as a warning. It’s so far up that the trigger guard presses into your clit, bundle of nerves puffy and swollen from all the stimulation. A searing sensation emanates from between your thighs and you can’t help but let out a little yelp.

“N-Nagito! Wait...” you try again, a pathetic mewl more than anything else, but it doesn’t seem to register. His expression is unreadable as he inches the gun out little by little, sliding your pants down to get a better view. And then he pauses when the muzzle surfaces from your entrance.

That’s when you see it. The gun’s barrel, glistening with arousal, glistering in liquid coating, and he just holds it there as if to say, would you look at that—you’re enjoying this, aren’t you?

“You know, it’s hard to understand you when you mumble.” You choke up when he suddenly jams the gun back in, stroking—no, pounding your gummy insides with fevered delight, your slimy slick squelching below you, pit of your stomach unraveling as the metal warms itself up with the heat of your core.

A shameless whimper escapes you when he keeps up the pace, dynamic movement burying the pain in pleasure, your mind swirling with delirity. This shouldn’t feel good. And when you stop to think about it, it really doesn’t. Your walls are raw, sensitive, and throbbing, but some primal part of you is overflowing with desire, getting off on the thrill.

Because every time the rigid ridges of the barrel burrow into you, the knot in your stomach tightens, threatening to cut loose. The gun bottoms out inside you over and over again, relentless in its constant push and pull. It forces your body into submission, coaxing it into something limp, ragdoll, and unrecognizable because the stimulation is just that overwhelming. Your knees begin to give out; it’s too much, the way your tight heat flutters around the pistol, his pistol, juices soaking your clothes and dripping out onto the floor.

“Nng-Nagito, please stop, I-I can’t—” You struggle to find the right words, stuttering incomprehensibly.

“Hmm, can’t go on? Would you rather be doing... something else?” He cocks the hammer to remind you of your place and you shake your head vigorously, trying desperately not to think about the possibility of death, as well as the ache that grows ever stronger in your core.

“How utterly disgusting. So you admit you actually want this,” he practically spits, your pathetic pussy pulsing in response.

That’s not true.

“With a body like this, are you sure your talent isn’t the Ultimate Slut?”

It really isn’t, you think. But something about his tone of voice makes you clench even tighter around the gun’s barrel, senses punctuated by his ceaseless pumping into that one spongy spot that has you curling your toes. Saltwater threatens to spill over your eyes when he points it out: “I can’t believe it, you’re basically sucking it in. Dirty fucking whore, making my job harder for me.”

Your cheeks heat up in shame, thighs shifting wider when he nudges them apart, holding them right where he wants you. You squeak when he plunges the gun impossibly deeper, eyes rolling to the back of your head when you realize you’re about to come undone.

The world shudders when you cum on and over the pistol, the overflow drenching Nagito’s hand. A lewd moan like no other resonates throughout the room—and then you realize that it’s yours, that it’s you who’s moaning, you who’s seeing stars while creaming all over a loaded gun. The tears are painting your cheeks now, exquisite sting doing little to comfort you. His hand stills and you collapse to the floor, exhausted from reaching your high, gun still nestled deep inside you.

Sighing in defeat, Nagito crouches beside you, eyeing you like one would a wriggling maggot. You can’t even begin to imagine what you look like, arms and legs splayed out in haphazard angles, eyes glazed over, your mouth wide open as you pant like a bitch in heat. He taps the side of the gun with a sole fingernail.

“Go on, then. Take it out.”

It takes the last of your energy to swing your arm over, hand clenching the grip of the gun in slothful momentum. It’s hard to think straight. It’s hard to think about anything at all besides your sluggish relief.

Finally. It’s finally over. The lingering effects of your orgasm die out as you’re left with nothing but the violating weapon stuck up your abused hole. It’s all you can do just to tug on it.

But as soon as you start to pull on it, Nagito grabs ahold, his grip much stronger than your own. Everything in its place, exactly how he wanted it. His smile is torturous, haunting.

“Got you.” He guides, or rather forces, your index finger to its rightful place on the trigger, and you do little to struggle.

“No, no more—” Your voice comes out a meek rasp, labored breath falling upon deaf ears.

“Bang,” he says unceremoniously, pressing your finger into the trigger.

“Say, Nagito, tell me something.” Monokuma turned his gaze from the pitiful sight of your passed out form, left to soak in your own juices on the cold hard ground. “You didn’t happen to rig the game, now, did you?”

“Don’t be a sore loser, Monokuma,” Nagito said as he snatched the prize from the duocolor teddy bear, a hefty file embossed in gold letters that read, clear as day: Makoto Naegi. A knowing smile crept to his lips as he pawed through its contents.

“The gun jammed, fair and square.”

#nagito x reader #dr x reader #danganronpa x reader #danganronpa smut #nagito smut #tw. dark.#tw. noncon.#tw. penetration.#tw. gunplay.#tw. degradation.#🍣.food #fishstyx.dr

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fishybehavior · 3 years

Text

@kittydemon9000 's original spbnr au, but with a lil twisty twist!! (with their permission of course) Based off the Kai!verse version of spbnr au

- - - -

tw: slight blood, and Aki is not good with children

“Keep the red ninja alive, and make sure he doesn’t go home.” That had been Aki’s orders, but something must’ve gone wrong. Cause the fearless red ninja, the one he was a copy of- was making airplane noises as he ran around in circles.

He was now a small toddler, no older than 2 or 3, laughing and screaming as if his very existence didn’t bring disgust to Aki. He was looking forward to this. Aki would finally get time on his own, thinking Kai would be his usual age, he wouldn't have to worry about him unless he tried to escape. But now? He had to watch the brat. If he got injured so did he, if he ran off and got himself killed in this world, he would die too. Meaning he was stuck babysitting the guy he hated most.

Watching the brat play while screaming and laughing and it was starting to get on his nerves, but the sun would be setting soon, and he needed somewhere for him-- for them to sleep. Grabbing the kid's hand, he pulled him along, ignoring his whining as Aki looked for a good place to hunker down.

----

“Ow, ow ow!” Kai whined. They had been walking for a while and were near the edges of the city. Aki's own feet were starting to hurt from the wandering. Looking down at his charge, he met with a pout and a pair of adorable eyes holding his arms out. “Pick me up?”

“Cute. Y’know if I had a soul, you’d have an argument. Now c’mon we’re losing daylight.” Aki pulled the kid again, he was lagging behind but he just made sure he had a grip on his tiny hand as he marched onward. He thought about taking an alleyway as a shortcut, but most seem to be dead ends. Looking into one, he saw two figures; someone in a green jacket seemed to be getting mugged.

“Sucks to be him,” he muttered, walking away.

“Bwother!!”

Aki turned, seeing the toddler running towards the mugging. He watched, frozen in shock for a second as the child ran, trying to grab the mugger's knife. Surprising the guy and making him sweep his knife hand back. Aki felt pain flare in his face as the child screamed, and it broke him from his stupor.

Rushing the guy he tackled him into the wall, and the guy crumpled as the impact knocked the wind out of him. Grabbing his knife before he recovered, he held it to the guy's throat.

“Wait wait, don’t-”

“I won't do anything if you leave now and forget about all of this.” Aki hissed, and the guy scurried as soon as he finished. Threat gone, Aki took note of the rest of the scene. He heard crying and looking behind him he could see the guy in the green jacket comforting Kai, who was clinging to him like a lifeline.

The two made eye contact, and Aki almost recoiled. That was Lloyd, no wonder the kid did something so stupid. He growled and Lloyd jerked in surprise. “If you don't wanna end up like him, I suggest you run too.” And that got the kid to back off, making the kid cry harder as he backed away. Making Lloyd hesitate, concern in his eyes.

“Scram!” Aki screamed, and he was gone.

Leaving him alone with a screaming toddler.

“Kid, stop.” But Kai just ignored him. He probably couldn’t hear him with how loud he was being.

“Shut up!” He snapped but that only seemed to make him scream and cry more. At this rate, the noise was going to attract attention, or worse, cops.

Groaning, he crouched down so he was about eye level with the kid, he could see the cut on his cheek bleeding. “Uh, hey kid. It's ok, I chased off the guy. You can stop crying now,” he said calmly if a little awkwardly. He’s never had to comfort anyone before. Yet it seemed to kinda work, the screaming toned down, but the kid was still loudly crying.

“Uhh, hey. If you stop crying, I’ll carry you the rest of the way.” He bartered. They needed to get out of here fast, his gut screaming at him that he’s been out in the open too long.

But his promise caught Kai’s attention, tears were still falling, but his blubbering had mostly stopped. The kid lifted his arms, tiny hands making a grabby motion towards Aki. Sighing in relief, he picked up the little guy, who buried his head into his shoulder. Making sure he was comfortable, Aki set off again, looking for somewhere to sleep and now somewhere to patch them both up.

#ninjago #spbnr au #not my au #but im gonna write it cause #boi am i rotting #kai ninjago #bizarro kai #movie lloyd #kittydemon9000 #:D #my writing #fic #farfic #:)#tw slight blood

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proudfreakmetarusonniku · 2 years

Text

/rp

tw: abuse, manipulation, gaslighting, drugging (with Minecraft splash potions, if those count), referenced torture, self harm, forced family, implied threats

“tommy… tommy, wake up!”

tommy felt himself being shaken awake, the light of a torch beckoning him to open his eyes. “ugh, tubbo, it’s the middle of the night-“

“you really think tubbo cares?”

oh, prime, no, that voice wasn’t tubbo that wasn’t tubbo that wasn’t tubbo. tommy opened his eyes with a start, wildly flailing, reaching for his sword in his inventory as he heard a loud smashing sound and felt an unnatural stillness seep through his bones, the splash potion of weakness working its effects near instantly.

dream rolled his remaining eye (his remaining eye what the fuck had happened to him in prison the idea of even dream going through that made him sick). “calm down, idiot. i'm not here to hurt you, just to talk.”

“liar,” tommy forced out through uncooperative lips. “you're a fucking liar. you said- you said you were going to make my life a living hell, every day-“

“and i've got all the time in the world, tommy. you’re so impatient. look, if you really want me to tear you to pieces, i will, but-“

“no.” it was barely choked out of tommy's mouth. “no, no, please.”

“i knew you’d come around eventually. you’re a clever boy.” dream’s grin showed far too many teeth. at this point, tommy could barely remember the mask. “i mean, remember back in exile, back when we used to talk for hours about whatever came to mind? you miss them too, right?”

“fuck no.” tommy spat. “why would i ever miss- you hit me! you hit me when i said something you didn’t like, and you- you'd hold my arm so tight it bruised so I couldn’t leave-“

dream furrowed his brows. “tommy, have you really never had friends before? i was just being friendly, it’s not like you could have run anywhere anyway-“

“oh, so when you said you were going to torture me forever, you were going to toy with me every day, that was friend shit, was it?” tommy grit his teeth, driving his claws into his palm weakly, unable to even draw blood under the effects of the potion. “you fucking hate me, prick. stop lying.”

“i'm pissed at you, sure, but i don’t hate you, tommy.” the condescension in dream’s voice, like he was talking to a fucking toddler or something, made tommy feel like he was gonna lose what little he’d managed to eat that day. “you’re far too fun for that.”

“is this what it’s about? fun? is that why you left big q alone, why you hunted me down?”

“pretty much.” dream shrugged. tommy just stared ahead, dumbfounded, for a few seconds before dream started to laugh. “what, are you surprised about me being honest or something? i mean, we’re going to be seeing a lot more of each other, aren’t we? i think i can afford to tell you what you already know.”

“you’re a monster. i hope you choke.”

“honestly, it’s adorable you think you can do anything to stop me. you’re like a little kid throwing a tantrum.” tommy opened his mouth, a million protests in his throat, before he felt claws through his hair again, gentle and almost kind, and he hated how he leaned into the all too familiar touch that felt like a parody of wilbur's affection, unable to stifle the awful animal cry of affection purring in his stomach.

“see, look, it’s not all bad, is it? isn’t this nice? i can be kind, if you behave, y’know?”

tommy hissed, trying to jerk his head away as best he could while under a weakness potion and propped awkwardly in his nest. “i'd rather spend for-fucking-ever in limbo than be a- a fucking obedient doll, prick.”

“that's my tommy.” the warm pride in dreams voice sounded so fucking similar to wilbur, a warped parody of brotherly affection, that tommy actually did start gagging, there. “that’s what i like about you. you never stop fighting, do you? it’s hysterical.”

“enjoy it while you can, dickhead, because- because phil, and wilbur, and-and big q- they‘ll stop you. they’ll fucking- they’ll kill you.”

dream rolled his eye again. “I’m sure they will. actually, about that, i was here to tell you something. something important.” he grinned. “remember to say goodbye to everyone here. tubbo, shroud, ran- actually, it’s already too late for him, right? y'know, he’s a good example. we're going to outlive every single person on this server, and the way things are going, you’re going to lose everyone else you care about pretty soon, huh? i think you should prepare for some closure as soon as you can. i don't want you crying about it in a thousand years or something like a baby.”

“i-“

“i think you should sleep on that, tommy.” there’s another shattering of glass, bitter stinging taste through his fault and a sickeningly soothing wave of sleep wracking through his body, barely able to keep his eyes open. “for me.”

when tommy wakes, his room is brightly lit by midday sun, and there’s no sign of anyone being there but the eerie cleanness of it all. books stacked neatly where they’re meant to be, scratches on the wall fixed, and his nest less a mess of pillows and blankets and soft and shiny stuff but neatly laid out and piled, himself cocooned in blankets as opposed to them being spread all across the room, and he’s not even sure whether it was real or not himself.

#dream smp #dsmp #my writing #c!tommy #c!dream #primeboys (derogatory)#tw abuse #tw manipulation #tw gaslighting #tw drugging #tw torture mention #tw self harm #tw implied death threats #c!dream negative

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eliemo · 3 years

Text

Face Down

Summary: Virgil remembers how he was treated and realizes, for the first time, that he didn’t deserve what he went through.

TW: Flashback, descriptions of past abuse, violence, past gaslighting, mental breakdowns, crying, swearing, threats, blood and injuries

Sympathetic Light and Dark sides

Masterpost

Virgil had thought he was going to die.

He remembered when the thought popped into his head, sudden and frantic, screaming at him to get away. It hadn’t been the first time he’d had the thought, but it had been the first time it came from the rational part of his brain, not the panicking part.

Which had been horrifying, especially considering the fact that he was fairly certain Sides couldn’t die. Not completely, anyway.

But it had been one of Wrath’s beatings (those were always the worst), and it hadn’t stopped.

He supposed it made sense. Virgil tried not to think about it too much anymore, but Wrath was the manifestation of the deepest parts of Thomas’s anger, the rage he would never give power to, because that wasn’t Thomas.

He had carried out a majority of Virgil’s more extreme punishments for longer than he could remember.

Which was...fine. It had been fine. It made sense after all, Virgil needed to learn his lesson. The pain was always warranted, always given when he needed to do better, when he’d made a mistake.

Except…

Except it had been different that time. It should have been eye opening, should have been a red flag, but all he’d done was ignore it. He’d forgotten it, shoving it to the back of his mind until it was nothing but a distant blue, identical to all the other memories he wished he could forget.

He’d been on the ground, face down, gagging against the coppery taste in his mouth, trembling and gasping in a pathetic heap. Everything hurt, his clothes drenched in what could have been sweat or blood, the room spinning violently, voices far away and distorted.

He’d long ago lost the strength to raise his hands up to protect his face, and he could barely see through the blood dripping into his eyes. He was almost positive his nose was broken, along with at least a couple of his ribs.

It had all been...unfortunately routine as far as punishments went, albeit a bit more intense than usual. The only difference was that it wouldn’t stop. Wrath had just kept going and going, until Virgil was completely convinced the other side was determined to kill him this time.

He’d been terrified, of course, he always was when they hurt him no matter how often it happened. But this time he remembered being...confused. He hadn’t understood why it was happening.

He was always hit for a reason. Small mistakes, like stumbling, moving too slow, stuttering or taking too long to answer when he was asked a simple question, were met with smaller punishments- slaps, kicks, shoves, a punch or two, occasionally chasing him out of the kitchen when he went to get food. Just enough to remind him of his place, to keep him scared enough to do his job efficiently.

Things like making a mess, dropping something, making a loud noise, breaking or damaging something were met with...more severe punishments. And while he obviously didn’t like it, he knew better than to complain.

He knew it was pathetic how often he messed something up, so he knew how important punishing him was. But this time...he’d had no idea what he’d done.

It had been first thing in the morning- he hadn’t even had a chance to open his mouth yet. And he’d been extra careful lately, still a bit sore from the last beating Wrath had put him through.

So as guilty as it made him feel to admit it, he had no idea what he could have done to warrant this.

Wrath’s beating had come to a stop without warning, and suddenly Virgil was gasping against the pressure of a boot against his neck, keeping him down.

“What the fuck did you just say, Anxiety?”

Virgil had always been nothing but Anxiety to him- to all of them. Years spent together, and they had never bothered to even show interest in his name. (In his dreams, the nightmares that left him waking up to his own screams, they always called him Virgil. Always taking away as much power as they could)

Janus and Remus knew his name- but at the time Virgil thought it was only a reward for them never having to raise a hand against him.

He should have known better. He shouldn’t have been so gullible and stupid.

And apparently he’d spoken without realizing, terrified questions forcing themselves to the surface without his permission, and Virgil could feel Wrath’s anger only grow, and quickly scrambled to take it back.

“I- I’m- I’m sorry, I’m s-sorry, I--”

“Shut up! Just shut up! God, do you ever stop talking?”

Virgil obeyed, biting his bloodied lip to keep from whimpering when Wrath’s boot was replaced with a knee digging painfully into his back.

He couldn’t see them from where he’d been pinned down on his stomach, but he knew the Others were there, crowded around and watching like it was entertainment.

He could hear them laughing. Why were they laughing? Weren’t they supposed to be mad? What was so funny?

Why did they always seem so excited when he made a mistake?

“Don’t ever ask me that,” Wrath hissed, and Virgil bit back another cry of pain, knowing it would just make him angrier. “Don’t you ever ask me what you did wrong, do you understand? Do you know how stupid you sound?”

“I...s-sorry--”

A hand twisted into his hair, yanking hard enough for Virgil to see stars, choking on his own desperate words.

“I don’t know what you did, Anxiety, but does it even matter? I don’t need a reason, you’ve always done something, haven’t you? You deserve this- you always deserve it, and I don’t owe you a fucking explanation. You’re lucky we put up with you at all.”

Virgil tried to nod, squeezing his eyes shut against the humiliation and the pain, but the motion proved impossible with the way Wrath was holding him down, and he didn’t dare try to talk again.

“Do you understand that?” Wrath asked, suddenly speaking like he was addressing a toddler throwing a tantrum. “Nobody needs a reason to hate you Anxiety, it’s not our fault you’re like this. And I sure as hell don’t need an excuse to remind you exactly what you deserve.”

The hand in his hair tightened, and this time Virgil couldn’t help but cry out, eyes flying open in alarm. He thought he heard someone snicker.

“Do you understand?” Wrath demanded again, a heavy weight on Virgil’s back. “Tell me that you understand!”

But Virgil couldn’t form a response, throat tight and mouth flooding with his own blood and spit, ears still ringing with Wrath’s demands that he stay silent.

And then another voice was calling, somewhere from the other side of the room, but Virgil couldn’t focus enough to make out who it was.

“Remus is coming. Get him out of here.”

Virgil barely had time to process that, the terror that came with the thought of another side seeing him like this, seeing how weak and pathetic he was, another excuse to hurt him even worse. He didn’t think he could handle much more.

(Looking back on it, Virgil would have given anything for Remus to walk in on time)

The weight on his back was gone, and Virgil was suddenly being lifted off the ground, one hand under his arm, another grabbing at his hoodie and yanking him forward.

He gasped in pain as Wrath threw him haphazardly over his shoulder and began walking to the stairs.

“N-no...please, I--”

“Shut up, Anxiety.”

Virgil did as he was told, only able to silently hope his constant trembling wasn’t obnoxious enough to warrant another strike, forcing himself not to whimper when any of his injuries were jostled by Wrath’s less than careful movements.

Virgil tried not to think about how this was the most physical contact outside of any violence that he’d had in years.

It took him a moment to realize Wrath had brought him to his room, only really comprehending where he was when he was unceremoniously dumped on the floor, crying out against the wave of blinding pain.

“Stop whining,” Wrath snarled, and Virgil cringed, waiting for another blow. “You know you deserve this. If anyone tries to say you don’t, they’re lying. And if you believe them you’re even stupider than I thought.”

And with that he was gone, sinking out of the dark room without another word, leaving Virgil a shaking, bloody mess on the floor.

He didn’t know how long he stayed there. He couldn’t remember- everything fuzzy and faded with time and pain.

He did, however, remember with perfect clarity the terror that had shot through him at the sudden knocking on his bedroom door.

He tried to calm himself down, tried to remind himself that no one ever knocked when they planned on hurting him. If they were angry, they would just barge in without warning.

“Anxiety?” It took him a moment to recognize Morality’s voice, deceptively sweet as ever, and he curled up tighter to muffle any sound. “You in there, kiddo? I think Thomas wants us for a video if you can make it.”

And Morality sounded so...nice. He always seemed so kind, so genuinely caring. Virgil had been warned, of course, that none of the kindness extended to him was real. It was a trap, a twisted trick, and if Virgil fell for it he’d be hurt worse than ever before. He was safest where he was.

But that day, half-conscious and bleeding all over his bedroom floor, Virgil had thought about calling out. For the first time, he’d considered asking for help.

Because the beating had finally stopped, but the pain had only gotten worse. He honestly wasn’t sure he could clean himself up like he usually did. He didn’t even know if he’d be able to stand.

Obviously, Morality wouldn’t want to help him when he saw the kind of beating Virgil had deserved. He’d probably only get ridiculed and scolded when the other side saw what kind of injuries had been needed to put Virgil back in his place.

But Virgil would take yells and taunts over slowly bleeding out on the floor. And he could come up with some kind of excuse. He could say he fell down the stairs, and that he just needed help making it to the bathroom to wash up.

And he almost managed to do it, taking in a shaky breath when Morality knocked softly again.

But he couldn’t. Because no matter how badly he wanted to, no matter how desperately he wanted someone to care just a little, he knew nobody would. He was so tired of being terrified, but there wasn’t any other choice.

And he really didn’t think he could handle any more pain. Especially not from someone he hadn’t gotten a chance to see angry yet. He wouldn’t know what to expect.

So Virgil had closed his mouth and squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for the silence to come, and Morality had eventually relented.

“Alright, kiddo,” he’d called, sounding almost disappointed. “I know you’re busy.”

(Virgil would do anything to go back and change it. He’d give anything to convince his past self to give in and call out, to scream and cry and beg for help. Because if Patton had heard him, if Patton had seen what the others did to Virgil, it all could have been over so much sooner)

It had taken Virgil all night to find the strength to pull himself off the floor to make it to his bed, and when he didn’t leave his room for nearly three days, no one seemed to notice. If they did, he doubted they cared.

If Wrath hadn’t stormed into his room and demanded Virgil washed the blood off his face or he’d get it twice as bad, he might have forgotten he existed at all, content with letting himself waste away.

Virgil had no idea when he’d started crying but here he was, leaned against the side of his bed, a hand pressed tightly over his mouth while tears rolled down his cheeks.

He didn’t get it. He didn’t know why he’d let himself sit here almost all night, staring blankly at the floor, consumed by a memory he’d tried so hard not to think about for so long.

He’d pretty much forgotten about it completely, letting it blend in with the rest of the non-stop fear and pain he was put through. It shouldn’t be a big deal anymore. It was over.

But Virgil wanted to scream. He wanted to kick his bed frame until his foot split open, he wanted to throw his lamp on the ground and watch the bulb shatter into a hundred jagged pieces that could tear his skin open with a single touch. He wanted to yell and bite his skin, tear into his own flesh with his teeth until he couldn’t think anymore, couldn’t feel the hurt in his chest trying to suffocate him.

Because...because it wasn’t like all the other times. It was so much different- so much worse- and he’d just been too stupid to realize.

He’d thought he’d deserved it. Every time, no matter how bad it had gotten, he’d really, truly believed it was for the best. He’d understood, even through his pleading for the pain to stop.

There had always been something, some reason or excuse for why he needed to be punished. He’d been too loud, too disrespectful, too annoying, always an obnoxious nuisance everyone wished would just go away.

He was clumsy, he knocked things over or forgot where certain dishes went. He stumbled over his words or occasionally tripped if he moved too fast.

They were normal things. He’d seen everyone make small mistakes like that before and had never once gotten angry, never once felt the need or want to hurt them to make them better.

But Virgil had to be hurt. He would always be less than everyone else, always weak and evil and pathetic, so he deserved it. It wasn’t something he should question, it was just the way things were. And he’d believed it, every time.

Even after things had gotten better, even after the light sides had constantly shown him otherwise and Janus and Remus had proved to him over and over again that they would never, he still couldn’t quite wrap his head around it.

But that time…

That time he hadn’t done anything. He’d done nothing. He’d been awake all of five minutes and it had been one of the few times he’d thought they were genuinely trying to kill him.

And they...Wrath hadn’t even denied it. He hadn’t had a reason to punish Virgil, and he hadn’t even bothered to come up with one. He just hated him. He just wanted Virgil to die.

And he’d known...he’d known Virgil wouldn’t fight it. He knew he would just lay there and take it, convinced after years of conditioning that no matter what, he deserved it. He deserved to be scared and hurting.

Virgil suddenly wondered how many other beatings he’d gotten for no reason at all. How many times they had tormented him just because they’d wanted to, trusting Virgil to come up with the reason all on his own.

And he always had, because that was what he'd been taught to do. Lock onto the smallest mistake and expect the worst. And even now, even when deep down he knew he was safe, he couldn’t stop.

It was never about punishment. It was never about helping Thomas. It had all been for entertainment.

It wasn’t...fair. It wasn’t fair.

God, what was wrong with him? Why was he so stupid? His whole life he’d let them do what they wanted, let them hurt him, manipulate him, twist his mind until he thought that it was normal. They’d had him convinced that the people he now loved more than anything in the world would do the same without a second thought.

They’d barely treated him like a person. They’d practically brainwashed him into believing Anxiety was lesser, that he didn't deserve things like safety, or privacy, or sometimes even food. They’d gotten him to believe he didn’t deserve to be loved. To be happy.

And Virgil had never tried to do anything about it. Not once.

Because...because it had never crossed his mind. He’d never let himself believe that anyone could be so cruel. He didn’t know, even after all this time, why they hated him so much.

Maybe it was to take back the power Thomas refused to give those parts of himself. Or maybe Virgil really was that irritating. Maybe they just found it funny.

He’d never know. He’d never know and that...somehow that was so much worse. Suddenly, he wished he could go back to believing he deserved it.

He hated this. He hated this.

This time, he didn’t fight against the angry, impulsive thoughts that popped into his head, desperate for any kind of relief from the swarm of emotions he couldn’t even begin to sift through.

Virgil pushed himself back, kicking out against the metal bed frame as hard as he could, letting his crying morph to ragged sobs against the vicious combination of pain and panic.

He felt pathetic as he kicked out again, slamming the top of his socked foot onto the edge of his bed. He felt small, and weak, and scared. Everything he didn’t have to be anymore.

But he’d never actually stopped. He couldn’t. He wondered if he would ever be able to.

He curled forward, sinking his teeth into his sleeve and finally letting himself scream, a muffled, pathetic noise that sounded more like broken wailing than anything else.

He didn’t care. For once, he didn’t think twice about it. He just let himself fall apart, let himself feel the hurt and anger, screaming and sobbing wordlessly into his arm, free hand tugging ruthlessly at his hair.

Just like Wrath had always done to get his attention.

He barely registered the frantic knocking at his door, everything completely drowned out by his own cries and ragged breathing.

“Kiddo?” It was Patton’s voice calling to him from the hallway, faint and panicked. “Can I come in? Virgil?”

Virgil almost wanted to laugh at the irony of the situation, how everything had come full circle. He could call out this time, no longer afraid of Patton wanting to hurt him. But once again, he couldn’t find the strength to speak.

Thankfully things were different now, and Virgil managed to raise a shaky hand to unlock the door for Patton, courtesy of the special lock Roman had conjured up for him after the unfortunate misunderstanding they’d had over Virgil’s need for privacy.

“Oh, honey.” There were footsteps, quick and soft, and suddenly Patton was kneeling beside him, close but not yet touching. “I’m here, I’m right here. Can you hear me, kiddo?”

Virgil didn’t respond, just curled further in on himself and shut his eyes. He didn’t have the energy to try and muffle his sobs anymore.

“Virgil--” a hand grazed his shoulder, and Virgil flinched back before he could stop himself. “Ok! Ok, I won’t touch you, kiddo. Can you tell me what’s wrong?”

Virgil forced himself to breathe, pulling his knees up to his chest and digging his nails into his scalp, wishing he could just get Wrath’s voice out of his head. He wanted to forget, wanted to block out the laughter that always came with his pain…

Laughter. Someone had always been laughing. It had always just been entertainment to them.

“I-I didn’t--” God, he could barely talk. He just wanted everything to stop. “I d-didn’t do an-anything I didn’t do anything--”

“I know,” Patton said, even as Virgil furiously shook his head. “I know you didn’t, baby, it’s ok--”

“No it’s not!” He hadn’t meant to shout, he’d never meant to shout at Patton- at any of them, but it felt like he was barely even here. Everything was too much. “I- I didn’t- they always...Pat I- I could have just opened th-the door!”

He could barely breathe, chest aching with each ragged sob, but he couldn’t seem to stop, everything spilling out all at once.

“Kiddo--”

“Y-you were right there. You...you were right outside the door and I didn’t...I let it- I...I hadn’t even done anything and he--”

“Patton? Is he alright?”

That was Logan’s voice, more footsteps making their way to the open door, and Virgil quickly fell back into a fit of uncontrollable sobs, hoping it was enough to block everything else out.

“What happened?” Roman was there too, all of them clearly woken up by the commotion from his room.

Virgil wanted the floor to swallow him up, to disappear forever until everyone forgot he existed. He wanted to sob and scream until he could never speak again.

He wanted to forget everything that had happened and just be ok. He wanted to stop being so scared.

“I’m trying to calm him down,” Patton said quietly. “I think he just had a bad dream.”

Virgil shook his head, breaths nothing more than hiccuping wheezes, pressing his head against his knees, refusing to see the looks of pity and confusion.

“It- it wasn’t...I wasn’t dreaming. It...it was- y-you were right there. I th-thought I was- I was dying and you were...I-I wasn’t ignoring you, I just c-couldn’t--”

“Virgil,” Logan said, calm and steady as ever. “You need to slow down. Try and take some deep breaths to--”

“No, I- I...R-Remus almost saw, they- they had to take me to my room and Pat...Patton was right outside. It- it hurt so b-bad and I...I was so scared.”

“Oh, god.” Patton sounded so small, but Virgil knew the moral side suddenly understood what he meant. “Virgil, I--”

“I thought I was going to die.” Virgil took a shuddering breath, the admission leaving him dizzy. “I thought...I-I wanted to ask for help so bad.”

This time, Virgil didn’t pull away when Patton reached for him. He fell into his embrace, shaking and sobbing uncontrollably, clutching at the other side’s pajama shirt like a lifeline.

“It’s ok,” he heard Roman say somewhere behind him. “It’s ok, Virge.”

“It’s not. It- it’s not...I-I never did anything. It- it was never a punishment they...they just hated me. They just liked h-hurting me and I don’t- I don’t know why. It’s not...i-it’s not--”

“It’s not fair,” Logan finished for him, when Virgil couldn’t seem to form the words. “You should never have been treated like that. And as hard as it is, recognizing the abuse for what it was is an important step.”

Virgil just tightened his hold on Patton, choking on his own sobs as they just grew louder and louder while he made no effort to quiet them.

He didn’t want to keep taking these steps, he didn’t want to have to recover. He wanted it to be over. He didn’t want to do this anymore.

“I’m so stupid.” It was muffled by Patton’s shirt, but he felt the moral side tighten his hold. “I’m so fucking stupid!”

“You aren’t--”

“Yes I am! All the- all the shit they said to me and I never...I never...why couldn’t I have just asked for help?”

There was another hand on his back, rubbing gentle circles in between his shoulders, the movement slow and precise.

“Because you had been gaslighted and meticulously conditioned your entire life,” Logan said carefully. “You believed we would hurt you just as badly, if not worse. You had no reason to think otherwise.”

Virgil didn’t respond, suddenly too light headed to think straight, focusing instead on Patton’s steady breaths in his ear, gasping in between desperate sobs.

After a moment Logan spoke up again, quieter than before. “Could you two get him some water, please? Perhaps an extra blanket?”

At first, Virgil thought he was talking to Roman or Patton, who Virgil currently had no intention of letting go of.

But then there was shuffling by the doorway, and Virgil glanced up just enough to see two familiar, blurry figures watching from just outside.

Janus nodded, grabbing Remus by the arm to guide him down the hallway, and Virgil’s heart sank when he caught a glimpse of the look on the Duke’s face.

He wondered how much they had heard, if Remus had realized just how close he’d come to catching the others in the act. If he realized how careful they’d been to make sure he never saw.

Judging from the panic and regret he saw in Remus’s eyes as he was practically dragged away from the room, he probably did.

But he couldn’t bring himself to dwell on it right now, not when it felt like the whole world was crashing down around him.

“I’m tired, Pat,” he muttered, voice still trembling and weak. “I’m tired, I’m so fucking tired.”

“I know, baby. I know. But you’re safe with us.”

Virgil let out a humorless laugh, the sound more like a pitiful whine, his soaked face pressed against Patton’s collarbone. “I get why he didn’t- he didn’t kill me. This is...god, this is so much worse.”

He felt Patton freeze against him, Logan’s hand on his back abruptly stopping its soothing motions. He heard Roman take in a shaky, panicked breath.

“I’m sorry,” he said quickly, an old habit he still hadn’t been able to grow out of. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, Stormcloud,” Roman said, and Patton began gently rocking him back and forth, Logan continuing to rub his back as quickly as he’d stopped. “You don’t need to apologize.”

He held on tight, squeezing his eyes shut. “I just...I don’t...I don’t want to do this anymore. I want to be better.”

There wasn’t a response, but Virgil knew there wasn’t much that could console him right now. Not when everything was spinning, voices of the past too loud to make out much of anything else.

But they held him, letting him cry and fall apart in their arms, wrapping him in a blanket and helping him drink water when Janus and Remus returned, careful to give them space.

He appreciated it, though Virgil hoped one day he could have a relationship with Janus and Remus where he felt comfortable having them with him when he was vulnerable.

They’d get there. It was just one more thing to work on.

For now...for now he didn’t want to think about the future. He didn’t want to think about how he’d probably wake up terrified, paranoid and jumpy, expecting anger and resentment for waking everyone up.

He didn’t want to think about how it might never stop. How he might never get better. How he could be like this forever.

He would dwell on all of that later, whether he wanted to or not. And he could already tell his nightmares would get bad again, memory after painful memory replaying over and over again in his head.

But he’d see it in a new light, a much darker motive behind the treatment. He wished it made it better to know he really hadn’t deserved it. It didn’t- it made it so, so much worse.

For now, he let himself melt into Patton’s arms, shuddering and gasping, frantically trying to copy the other’s breathing before he passed out.

The others had been wrong. The light side’s kindness wasn’t a lie, it was the only real thing he’d ever known. And he knew, no matter how bad it got, that his family would hold him together for as long as he needed.

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#sanders sides #abuse tw #violence tw #sympathetic janus #sympathetic remus #virgil sanders #ts virgil #roman sanders #ts roman #patton sanders #ts patton #logan sanders #ts logan #polysanders #prinxiety #analogical #moxiety #fanfiction #writing

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animeyanderelover · 3 years

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Could I request shigaraki,overhaul,madam red,and momo as parents and taking care of their baby with their darling?

❤️‍🔥💖.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, delusions, paranoia, manipulation, isolation, threatening, killing

Parents

Madam Red/Angelina Durless

🩺Angelina literally killed other women because they wanted to get rid of what she had lost and she resented them for this. So being able to either adopt a baby with her darling or pay money for a test-tube baby with her darling doesn't really matter to her, she'll go with whatever her darling wants. Madam Red just really wants a child the moment she is happily in love with her darling, hoping for a real chance to start a happy family. She won't hesitate to spend a lot of money during pregnancy, if it is a test-tube baby, either, getting her darling everything she wants whilst also busily checking on them as often as possible.

🩺If it comes to the gender of the baby, it'll be a girl and she names the little one after her dead sister Rachel, to honor her because she loved her sister a lot and her death was a huge shock and a shattering experience. Especially after having lost only shortly before her husband and unborn baby. Whilst Angelina is a very sweet and attentive mum to have, she also is a bit more on the desperate side. The woman loves her little baby a lot and she really just craves a happy family with her baby and her darling. So she somewhat seeks for love and approval from the baby and next to that is needy for her little daughter's affection and love which is why she gets her everything she could want and doesn't, everything Angelina thinks would make her daughter happy and love her more. Madam Red is also somewhat of a helicopter parent, mainly because she is scared something might happen to her baby just as much as she is afraid something might happen to her darling. She keeps both of them in her view which makes her a bit controlling, though she totally plays it down when someone points it out to her.

🩺Is a bit iffy to let Grell near her baby since Grell most likely wants to meet the little baby as well, totally gushing the moment she sees the chubby baby for the first time and instantly wants to hold her which Madam Red prevents. But on the other hand she also counts on the fact that the grim reaper will help her getting rid of possible threats for the darling and for the baby because Grell grows quickly defensive and protective over the toddler as well and Madam Red uses this as an advantage. She also takes always care of her daughter, no matter what so if her baby is sick, she drops everything and nurses her back to health. She's probably a tad bit too protective because she is that kind of parent that loses it if their baby has a small scratch on them and act like they just lost a limb. In general a bit more warily about letting the baby too often out, she doesn't like other people being all curious about her small one and she becomes passive-aggressive when someone gets too close. As mentioned, she's a mother wanting her daughter's attention.

🩺There are only few people she feels somewhat comfortable with so these are automatically the people she feels safe enough with to let them meet her baby and darling. Ciel is one of those people because he is the older cousin of the baby. He's still kind of awkward around the small child, though he tries his best to be as nice as possible to his little cousin because he knows how important she is for his aunt. Angelina also can not stand it if her daughter cry. She knows that she is still a small baby and cries a lot due to that, but it just genuinely hurts her when she cries. She somewhat panics and tries literally everything to make her baby feel better. Extremely smothering with her daughter, no matter age. It also becomes her tradition to sing to her baby every night or to read her a story and she continues doing this over all the years.

Momo Yaoyorozu

💳Momo is also that kind of woman who would want a baby with her darling at one point as well because the thought of taking care of a baby together with her darling is just unbelievably cute to her. She as well is fine with either adopting a baby or having a test-tube baby, she knows she'll love them in either case. And that girl is rich and wastes no money during pregnancy, if it is a test-tube baby, buying not only her darling everything they might want, but she also prepares a large room for the baby and buys all sort of stuff for the little one. She's just extremely zealous and can start rambling about how she can't wait to meet the little one.

💳Personally see Momo ending up with twins, a boy and a girl. And you best bet that the moment she found that out, she was beyond excited for the rest of the day and also pregnancy. She just loves the thought of having two babies from each gender and she had a really hard time choosing names for each of them, she had a long list of possible names for a boy and a girl and her darling had to help her with it. Momo mostly named her babies after she had seen them for the first time and saying she was bursting with happiness would be an understatement. As long as the babies are still small, Momo wants them to sleep in a really expensive and large crib next to her and her darling's bed so she can instantly comfort and care for them the moment they start crying because of something. Momo also can't help, but buy cute little and matching outfits for her children since they're twins, she's fashionate and so she of course chooses clothes that look good, but she still can overdo it from time to time because she never stops being happy that she is a mother.

💳But she still prefers it making the stuff she wants to get from her children herself, at the very least on special days like birthdays she creates something she thinks her children might want herself since it gives everything more meaning. Momo just totally loves spoiling her children just as much as she loves spoiling her darling because for what does she have money? Different from Madam Red she is not desperate with those attempts, she just loves doing so and seeing her children be happy and showering her in gratitude and love afterwards. Having her two twins giving her affection and telling her she's the best mum is without kidding the best thing in her day, together with being lovey dopey with her darling of course. Momo wants to do a lot of things together as a family and so picnics with self-made and favorite food of her darling and her twins, shopping tours where she gets all three of you whatever you want, and holidays in foreign countries are done a lot and she has a lot of pictures from such events which she keeps in albums.

💳Of course she cherishes every moment she gets to have with her family and her twins, she totally likes cuddling with her whole family in the soft and huge bed her and her darling sleep in, cozy morning cuddles as a family are the best. Momo is another parent who is pretty smothering to have, she has a thing for lifting both twins up in her arms and kissing their little cheeks. She won't stop her children from wanting to become heroes if they want to be and if they take their mother as their role model, she would actually be pretty proud, but she is still kind of worried. At the very least they won't have to worry over education because even if the darling should be clueless in certain school subjects, mummy Momo is always there to help when a certain crisis appears. Not gonna lie, she totally loves it if her darling and her daughter and son tell her she's the best, it makes her so happy and proud.

Tomura Shigaraki

✋Shigaraki is kind of unsure about having children because he as the leader of the villains and a guy who himself was never really familiar with the term of a lovingly and happy family. He doesn't know if he would be a good father to start with, though he would be nothing like his father. But if he gets his darling pregnant, he will have to think about something and the whole situation stresses him somehow which is why Kurogiri will have to help him planning, scheduling and organizing everything so his darling will get the pregnancy they need during the coming months and he is also the one who advices Shigaraki a lot with everything.

✋Tomura might be kind of clueless at the beginning, but regarding his son there are a few things very clear from the start for him. The first thing would be that the knife chick and the bad boy won't be let anywhere near his little boy, Kurogiri is allowed since Shigaraki trusts him to some extent. The second thing is that anyone who tries to do as much as lay a finger on his child's hair will be turned to the smallest pieces of dust by him. And the third one is that he wants to keep his son safe from any harm and actually wants him to stay more out of the business his father does. These are some conditions Shigaraki decides to do and he never breaks them either, he will never be like his father was to him. He is a bit clumsy with names, but he still suggested some which he thought would be nice and he would be joyful if his darling would decide to give the baby one of the names he wanted the baby to be called. At the beginning Shigaraki is afraid that he might hurt his baby, especially since he possesses this dangerous quirk, he kind of likes it more to just watch his son whilst his darling holds him.

✋But he can only fight his wish to hold his son in his arms that long and at one point he asks his darling hesitantly if he can hold the baby as well. His darling will have to still stay with him to show him how to hold his baby and additionally Shigaraki wants them to stay just in case since he's afraid he might mess something up. When he holds his baby for the first time in his arms he just stares at him kind of in awe, he never had that much contact with someone except with his darling. In general Shigaraki still remains a bit more insecure about what to do and he often has to ask his darling for advice as well as Kurogiri who is sometimes the baby sitter, the only person allowed near his little boy. Tomura still tries his best, he really wants to be a good father and even if he doesn't know how to properly comfort a baby during night or how to change diapers, he still gives everything a shot. But if he is getting overwhelmed with something, he always seeks for the advice of his s/o, kind of sad he couldn't do it alone. This is why his darling should teach him everything because Tomura can learn.

✋Funnily Tomura still possesses the ability to be somewhat jealous of the baby, though not in a negative sense. He is just very needy for the attention of his s/o as well just like their little child is. And whilst Shigaraki still loves the baby dearly, if he starts feeling a bit more neglected, he grows more clingy as well, though he uses the chances to neither let go of his son nor of his darling. But he is also kind of afraid what might happen if his son happens to inherit his quirk which is something Shigaraki prays won't happen since it would affect the childhood of the boy a lot. He would later on most likely be very much into playing games with his son and despite difficult circumstances, he tries to spend as much time with the boy as possible. Tomura hates it pretty much to be away from his small family for too long which is why he always hurries to go back to his darling and their little son.

Overhaul/Kai Chisaki

🦠Having children with him wouldn't really happen unless Chisaki gets his darling by accident pregnant because he doesn't desire a family, he's too focused on keeping his s/o safe from any harm and to keep them from this rotten and tainted world. But he has to become interested with the topic of being a father at the very latest when his darling refuses an abortion and keeps his baby which might be surprising even for him since he thinks he won't be a good father and expected his darling to feel the same. He told them after all how he treats Eri. Kai still manages to warm up a lot to the children during pregnancy and started obsessively checking on the health of his darling.

🦠Finding out that he would have twins was a small shock for him, though he was also majorly flustered by the thought and he just wanted to spend more time with his darling afterwards and tried to talk to them about possible names, future, education and all of this. Overhaul might surprise his darling because he is more thoughtful than expected and he actually kind of starts overthinking it at one point, though he still manages to keep his cool. Similar to Shigaraki he is being awkward at the beginning with his children, mainly because besides his father and his darling he never really managed to make any sorts of emotional bonds and remembering on how he treated Eri, he truly doesn't know what to do and it is almost amusing to see someone like him being utterly unknowingly. But he doesn't really asks for help because he knows how to take care of a baby, he informed himself about it, it's only that he is always so tensed up when holding his children in his arms and he needs sometime to loosen up and get over this part of him. He is also not the best in comforting his sons and at the very least this is something you will have to guide and assist him through.

🦠Kai makes from a very early age on sure that he removes any possible quirks his babies might have, though at the very least he makes sure to make it as painless as possible for them. Chisaki actually doesn't try to tell his sons that what he does is the right thing to do and that they have to believe in this as well, he knows that he does cruel and horrible things and for that doesn't try to excuse it. With that being said of course he also makes sure that his sons don't go outside without him having it allowed and just as much doesn't want either of them giving him the 'I want to be a hero' kind of crap because he won't allow it and will prevent them from doing so. He isolates his children just as much as his darling since he doesn't want them to get outside and have to breathe the same filthy air as other people and doesn't even want others to be anywhere near his family. Kai is pretty much the only person allowed with his s/o and his children and if someone gets too curious they won't have to feel surprised when he just kills them, of course not in presence of his darling and their babies.

🦠The babies are always up with the newest sort of vaccinations and whilst Kai doesn't let them attend a school at all and doesn't allow friends either, at the very, very least he educates and teaches both of them well once they become older. It isn't like Kai doesn't know that he will make his children feel lonely since he won't let anyone else except his darling near them, but he just wants his kids safe in the best way he knows off. And whilst he might be emotionally a bit more helpless at first, he gets somewhat the hang of it over time, though he is still a bit questionable, but everyone also knows that if something were to happen to one of his boys, he'll go lunatic. He is somewhat using spoiling as a way to make his boys happy with him again since they might be pretty often mad with the way their father isolates them. In a way he is also similar to Madam Red in the sense that as soon as one of is sons does as much as coughing, he is already checking if they're sick and if they are, he banishes them to stay in bed until he has nursed them back to health.

#yandere black butler #yandere kuroshitsuji #yandere madam red #yandere angelina #yandere angelina durless #yandere my hero academia #yandere mha #yandere boku no hero academia #yandere bnha #yandere momo #yandere momo yaoyorozu #yandere shigaraki #yandere tomura shigaraki #yandere overhaul #yandere chisaki #yandere kai chisaki

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dreamkidddream · 3 years

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Heya! It’s me again!! Can I request a BSD crew with Dazai, Chuuya, and Atsushi with a older siblings reader that really cares for them and is overprotective. (Really cold on the outside, but with them its a whole different story) Sorry it’s long!! Looking forward with your works!

Thank you for the request and thank you for reading!! Sorry about the wait, and it got kinda long. Reader is gender neutral and hope you enjoy!

TW: Suicide talk in Dazai’s (nothing too heavy is mentioned), and small spoiler for Oda (I know I keep bringing him up but I love him okay), abuse mentioned in Atsushi’s

Being an Overprotective Older Sibling (Sour but Sweet) with: Dazai, Chuuya, and Atsushi

Dazai

He stresses you out so, so, SO MUCH

You were ready to just wrap him up in a straitjacket and just attach him to your back, but you figured he would find a way to break free or kill himself (or even both)

When people saw the two of you together, on the outside, it looked either like a: you were handling an overgrown toddler or b: he was being held hostage by this scary looking individual that looks like they could rearrange your organs from the inside out

But, with you guys, it was the complete opposite. You were the best relative that Dazai had and could count on, but you refused to let him try any suicide attempts from his book (at least while he was in your presence). You were really sweet, always made sure to look out for him, and constantly protecting him.

When you came into the ADA looking just for him, everyone was confused. Who was this random stranger coming in with the coldest expression, asking specifically for Dazai, holding a wrapped box. They knew that he had many enemies that range from now to his past, so now they were assuming that you were someone that came to get revenge.

Kunikida tried to intercept you first, but you told him that you only came to see Dazai and no one else. And that he better still be alive and uninjured or else. Well, they obviously took that as a threat and before a whole brawl could break out, here walks in Dazai and Atsushi

“Oh, (Y/N)! What a surprise to see you on this lovely day. Here to check on your dear little brother?” Hold up...BROTHER?? DAZAI HAS A SIBLING, AND HE’S THE YOUNGEST??! Poor Kunikida is about to malfunction and Ranpo is just sitting back enjoying the show with his snacks

“Osamu...How many times do I have to tell you...stop forgetting your lunch! You need to eat properly. And before you even say anything, you are going to eat this. I know you didn’t eat breakfast this morning, because just drinking coffee is not breakfast, and...”

You went from getting ready to whoop some ass to nagging him what is going on

And that was the day that the Agency found out that Dazai had an older sibling. They were wondering why you never came to the office, and when you responded that is was, “none of their damn business”, they decided not to question it (at least in front of you). And they were so shocked to see you act, no be, so delicate with him. You were still talking to about your lunch, looking at him with the softest expression telling him, “I know you struggle with caring for yourself, so let me do it for you. You’re my younger brother, Osamu, let me do my job in taking care of you. You won’t let me protect you when you’re on the job, so let me protect you everywhere else.”

So, he was the reason why you weren’t working in the office alongside him? And it was true. After his days in the Port Mafia, when you were working alongside him, it was fine. He hated that you always got in the line of fire to “protect” him (and he knew and kept telling you that he didn’t need it, and if he did get hurt, to just let him suffer, to let him die). You didn’t understand his complete need to end his life, and it ate you up inside, but it also you a new resolve. Maybe he didn’t believe that his life was important or that he mattered to someone, so you took it to show him that someone did care, that you cared.

It backfired one day on a mission, when you took a bullet that was meant for him. You were so close to death that day, knocking right on His door, and it shook him to his core. Back in those days, he cared for you and Oda, and cared little for himself. He came so close to losing you, and he realized he wouldn’t know what to do without you. You were one of the only people (honestly beside Oda) that he actually felt some kind of emotion for, and he would be damned if he lost you too

So he came with a new resolution after he left the Mafia, he would handle the dangerous life, while you stayed home. You obviously strongly rejected this idea, but he left no room for refusal. He rather be the one close to death than you, you still deserved to live life, not him.

It led to a very long, emotionally draining, confrontational argument for hours, but the decision was made. You would live a regular life, far from any kind of violence or death, working a regular job while he would put his life on the line. On the terms that he would constantly keep you updated (ie. not ignoring your hourly calls and texts), actually eat the food that you prepare (breakfast, lunch, and dinner), and not push you away whenever he needed someone to leave on.

You also threatened politely let him know that if these conditions weren’t followed, then all bets are off and you would raise hell. You were here to stay and you’ll make sure that he is too

You were a positive influence on Dazai’s life, and it was so funny how you would switch personalities. How you switch from being so kind and childlike to so frigid and antisocial was very entertaining to see. He does love you, and while you would try to police his every move (which was literally impossible), he wouldn’t change it for the world.

Plus he LIVED for you coming to stop by in the office now, seeing how Kunikida would try to avoid eye contact with you and Atsushi nervously sweating in his seat was hilarious. He knew you wouldn’t hurt them, but it was still pretty amusing

Chuuya

Opposite of Dazai, you stress him out SO MUCH

Part of it is because you’re overprotective, another part of it is because you are a complete smartass and you knew it

“Damn (Y/N) can you LET ME BREATHE FOR A SECOND?!”

“...”

“Seems like you’re breathing fine to me.”

“WHY YOU-“

But, he may complain, but he actually didn’t dislike that you were working with him in the Port Mafia. You could keep an eye on him, and he could make sure that you didn’t get into any extra trouble that could interfere with his missions or have you get disciplined by Mori. It was a win-win for you both

If there was one thing that he could change though, is your constant need of trying to take the hits designated for him. He doesn’t need you always jumping in front of him, defending him with your own body. He was more than capable of taking care of himself, if he wasn’t then not only would he not be one of the top executives, but he also wouldn’t still be alive

Also he has a reputation to uphold. How was he suppose to display his raw power and talents when you were continuously intruding on his cases?! Not to mention the fact that you act so detached when you’re dealing with the other members. It’s to the point that they’re too intimated to even make eye contact with you

Which he thought was so bizarre because you were one of the nicest people that he has ever come in contact with (even though he was your brother and you guys interacted with each other every day). You played the annoying sibling role very well (too well in fact), but you still make sure to look out for him and make sure that he’s okay, emotionally and physically.

He understood why you did it, but at the same time he didn’t. You were both extremely strong, and he was the one with the better ability (not to mention that he’s the one that has Arahabiki inside of him). It came off that obviously you wanted him safe, but also that he couldn’t handle what comes at him. He’s not a little kid, he’s not some weakling that needs to be persistently protected, you both didn’t survive this long solely because of you, it was because of you both. It was a teamwork effort, and while he gets that he’s your youngest brother, he worries about you too

And he proved his point one night, when he had to dress your wounds after a mission went south. Here he was, scolding you and cursing about how stupid you were being, and the more he went on, the more you figured that he was angrier at himself for letting this happen.

“Why is it so hard to understand that I want to protect you too?! Why don’t you give a damn about yourself like how you do about me?! You act like this entirely new person on the field like you don’t give a damn what happens to you and it PISSES ME OFF! Just like you protect me, I can and will protect you. I may be loyal to the Port Mafia, but you come first, always.”

After that, you did let him handle his own battles (but if he got a single scratch on him, then you will be joining whether he agrees or not). You were still annoying in Chuuya’s eyes, but it was just him being his stubborn, short tempered self about his older relative. He wants the best for you without a doubt and he wants you to realize you don’t have to carry this imaginary burden of protecting him, because you weren’t the powerful one in the family. He had your back just like you had his. You were one of the only things that still convinced him that he was still human and not a monster, and no words will measure just how much he appreciates you for that. You had your moments when you were irritating the hell out of him, but he still loved you regardless

Besides, you were the only person who somehow was able to get one of his favorite vintage wines (it still confused him so much how you got it and not him, and you refused to tell him) so he definitely couldn’t afford to lose you

Atsushi

Okay, you do not play about this man, ever

After growing up in the orphanage and joining the ADA, it took a while to get readjusted to being around people that weren’t trying to purposely harm you for just existing. For Atsushi, even though he was hesistant to join the agency, you were honestly against it. Sure, it was a fresh start from that horrible place, but it was also another gateway for danger. Not to mention how sketchy this suicidal guy was, if he was able to join the agency there’s no telling what other nut cases are apart of it too

Plus, you needed to keep your brother in your presence at all times. Enough has happened to him already, and you were going to do everything in your power to prevent him from going through that type of pain ever again, you swore

But after he discovered that he’s the weretiger that’s been causing trouble (which you had a hunch about but no way to confirm) and with him having no type of knowledge on how to control this new ability, it seemed like you two had no choice but to stay with the ADA. You weren’t very happy about this arrangement, but if it was able to help Atsushi with his newfound ability and provided you with the means to support you both (ie. getting paid), then so be it. You sucked it up and both joined

It took...some time for the other members to get used to your demeanor. Having someone in the agency give off such an intense deadly vibe was a little unsettling. It seemed like Kenji, Ranpo, and Dazai were the only three (besides your brother) that weren’t phased by it, but other people like the Tanizaki twins tried to steer clear of you as much as they could

It wasn’t that they hated you, it’s just...your aura wasn’t the friendliest. And it was even more confusing since you were the exact opposite for your brother! You conversed and laughed with him, but you never did it with the others. Watching Kunikida and Dazai do their daily banter didn’t even make you crack a smile. But whenever you were around Atsushi, it seemed like you were carefree, glowing even. It was evident that you both kept each other smiling and positive, and it warmed everyone to see

Whether it was desk duty or field missions, you were both always paired with each other. If Dazai and Atsushi were assigned to a case, guess who was also magically assigned with them too? If he was stuck on desk duty, you were too. No one had a problem with it surprisingly. Which was a complete lie but after you...made a convincing argument, they left you alone and let you tag along with your brother as long as it didn’t interfere with the success of the case

Junichiro low key understood it though, don’t be fooled cause he’ll snap for his sister too if he had to

You didn’t even give any enemies the chance to even come close to Atsushi. That’s how serious you were with keeping your word. Even when him and Akutagawa fought, you would find a way to get involved. You will not let anyone else hurt your brother again if you could help it

He did get upset with you, whenever you did this, which led to a really bad blowout between you two. You figured this was going to happen sooner or later. It just seem like Atsushi was ready to prove himself to someone when he didn’t have to, but you didn’t understand why he felt that need.

Ever since you guys have been in that hellhole of an orphanage, you always tried to protect each other, but you always tried to take the beatings that were meant for him. He always blamed himself for you being beaten and tortured. It was his fault, if he just takes the abuse and the “punishments” by himself, then you wouldn’t have to get involved and suffer because of him. If Atsushi wasn’t so frail, if he wasn’t so weak, if he just wasn’t a mistake-

“Naka, you okay? You’re zoning out again. You’re gonna walk right into the street if you don’t stop that!”

“R-right. Sorry (Y/N). I guess what happen-“

“The orphanage still gets to you, I know. Please stop blaming yourself, Nakajima. It wasn’t any of our faults, and I don’t blame you for none of it. If anything, I should have done a better job of protecting you. There’s no excuse, neither one of us should have went through what we did, especially you. If anything, I’m the one that needs to apologize. I should’ve tried harder in keeping you-”

“(Y/N) stop saying that! Neither one of us deserved it! You can’t be the strong one for the both of us. I want and have to protect you too! I want to be confident enough in myself and my ability to keep you safe. I already failed when we stuck at that damn orphanage, I’m not going to fail you again! Damn it (Y/N)! Give me a chance to prove to you that I can take care of you like how you took care of me!”

You were stunned. Did your little brother carry this much of a burden because of you? How long has he been feeling this way? He didn’t have to prove himself to you! He was more than enough, and you couldn’t help but feel guilty thinking that it was your fault for him feeling this way

After a very long heart to heart with him, you finally understood where he was coming from. You couldn’t promise him that you would stop your protective nature, but you did let him fight his own battles for once (but you still weren’t letting him get seriously hurt, that still wasn’t going to happen obviously). He told you that he was getting older, and that like it or not that you weren’t always going to be by side. He needed to learn how to stand on his own two feet, and while he loved that you were there for him to lean on, he needed this for himself and for you. He knew that being the best brother that he could be was getting stronger and getting better with his ability, he owed you that much

Atsushi loves you, and he has the same resolve like you. Being that you two are the only thing that you both have left in this world, he wanted to make sure that he wouldn’t lose you under any circumstances. Him bettering himself everyday with the help of you and the agency members and was more than enough to make sure that wouldn’t happpen

#bsd headcanons #bsd imagines #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs reader insert #bungou stray dogs headcanons #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd dazai x reader #dazai x reader #osamu dazai x reader #bsd chuuya x reader #bsd chuya x reader #bsd atsushi x reader #chuya x reader #atsushi x reader #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #bsd atsushi

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