canyoudrawapretzel

[canyoudrawapretzel]

I only accept da Pucci for payment.

#out of context #kitties #can we talk about cats tho #they're so cool and adorable #yes our feed is full of felines #no regrets #keep calm and carry on worshipping le pretzels #and also cats #in Eldritch Kitty we trust #cat supremacy #felines #cat person

[canyoudrawapretzel]

the brain may have been made in the image of god, but the body was made in the image of the devil and that's why I'm hot

#periodt #what if #i turned this into a pickup line #hmmmm #decisions decisions #keep calm and carry on worshipping le pretzels #imago dei #imago lucy

[canyoudrawapretzel]

It's not called being oily

It's called being anointed

All hail Christos Cam

#christos cam #christ was canonically oily #oily josh #the church is just an oil mine #does anoiting oil mix with holy water #cam cvlt things #bow to Christos Camos #our church gives free pretzels and all types of wine #j o i n u s #keep calm and carry on worshipping le pretzels

[canyoudrawapretzel]

thank you for sending assassins after me btw i really needed that. it meant a lot to me

#keep calm and carry on worshipping le pretzels

[canyoudrawapretzel]

The two genders: misogynist and feminist

Feminism is in, hating feminists is in, but you can't just not be a feminist! It's your job as a mannnn

#what is even happening #feminism #misogyny #why are these the options #are yall ok #finna get canceled #keep calm and carry on worshipping le pretzels

[canyoudrawapretzel]

The response I didn't know I needed: SMH 🤦‍♂️ Learn semantics

#how iconic #love when the co-owner of this account suddenly says something incredibly hilarious unawares #co-owner appreciation #keep calm and carry on worshipping le pretzels

[canyoudrawapretzel]

You looking to dominate the world Babeyguillermo? ( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°)

I'm sorry

There can only be one of us (ʘᴗʘ✿)

Get in the cauldron

#babeyguillermo #babeyguillermo tries to dominate the world #babeyguillermo cant even dominate her life #who is babeyguillermo #no one knows #world domination #dont do it #its my job #now chill and love pretzels #keep calm and carry on worshipping le pretzels #can you draw a pretzel angel?

[canyoudrawapretzel]

"I'm a reader"

Bland

Disinteresting

Every synonym related to the two words above

Makes people think you're a Normie

You're a Normie, normie

Seems as if you cry in a library

"I hallucinate as I gaze upon the black painted thin slices of dead wood wrapped in an ancient beast's hide"

Fucking metal

Fucking cool

You're now a badass

Oh they might think you're a druggie but you're cool so what

Makes you seem like you're a forlorn wizard from times forgotten when gods roamed the earth

Environmentalists hate you

Pan the Greek God both hates and loves you

You're now a cool psychic

Seems as if you're extremely mysterious with a shady past

You have issues

#books #more books #environmentalists hate me #definitely not sponsored by a drug seller to further propagate the propaganda of the bourgeoisie so they can keep the working class chained #fuck wanton capitalism i guess #reading books is cool kids #never ever do drugs #read books #written by the vibrating cauldron dwellers #witchy #occulty #keep calm and carry on worshipping le pretzels #bye

[canyoudrawapretzel]

I am but a soft, spongy cake,

Devoid of all vainly sweetened and arrogantly decorated man-made honey.

Eat me and end my misery

I shall await mine inevitable death by thy lips.

#cake #raw and free #eat me #poetry #keep calm and carry on worshipping le pretzels

[canyoudrawapretzel]

Give another payment option, you filthy capitalist

#capitalism #consumerism #broke bitch #grandson #money #eat the rich #posting live from the cauldron 💅 #keep calm and carry on worshipping le pretzels #shitpost

[canyoudrawapretzel]

help

I don't know what to do with a girl in a cauldron

I just wanted to banish my house ghosts ಥ‿ಥ

#don't worry she's okay #but seriously #send halp #keep calm and carry on worshipping le pretzels #cauldrons #witchy #ghost and hauntings #banishing

[canyoudrawapretzel]

Wattpad book title statistics say that women prefer Alpha Canine Metamorphic Males

That is all.

#fun fact #wattpad #werewolves #alpha or beta #keep calm and carry on worshipping le pretzels

[canyoudrawapretzel]

Lol when even was that?

[canyoudrawapretzel]

"Give me happiness," he said.

Es: *attempts poeticism* "Happiness is like the wick of a candle..."

Cam: "It is surrounded by hot sticky white stuff? 🤔🤔🤔🤔But I'm not gay."

.....THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS, LIKE FAKE CANDLE-CENTERED RELIGIONS.

#candles #mission fail #humor #get your mind out of the gutter

[canyoudrawapretzel]

"UwU language is just cute tobacco chewing"

Stahp, for the love of all that is holy.

#uwuwuwuwu #unpopular opinion #change my mind #pretzels.

[canyoudrawapretzel]

@ that one theology-but-actually-just-Christianity prof:

Judgement is headed your way. Twicefold Judgement as your sin is grave. With lube, becuase we're nice. (I sincerely hope with all my heart you're allergic to it)

(srsly tho: pushing one religious narrative is not okie dokie)

#theology #religion #bigots #we see u #but seriously #catholic school #not okay #me irl

[canyoudrawapretzel]

The word of the good virtuous hath come. Bow and thou shalt taste the pretzels in the banquet of the honored men. And thou shalt drink of the finest non alcoholic malt beer.

Hearken, the good is to come.

#pretzelangel #you look at the tags? #why tho #have a good day #pretzels.