exerpts-from-the-teenage-mind

[exerpts-from-the-teenage-mind]

Sometimes I like to just comment on things and it doesn't mean they're bad. It just means I'm interested and wanted to comment. Neutral observations, if you will. Just experience stuff and not have a negative view attached to it.

#my thoughts #original #original writing #thoughts #highposting #high thoughts #writing #feeling neutrality #neutrality #body neutrality #view neutrality

[exerpts-from-the-teenage-mind]

I've given up on life and am now just determined to find joy where I can in the bleakness of this universe.

#strange joy #my thoughts #thoughts #highposting #high thoughts #writing #feelings

[exerpts-from-the-teenage-mind]

We want ourselves to be immortalized in consciousness forever so we post our thoughts on the internet and hope the right person will find it and put it somewhere more people can recognize themselves in it.

#420 posting #high posting #high texts #highposting #my thoughts #writing #thoughts #high thoughts #420 writings

[exerpts-from-the-teenage-mind]

We worship the best plots as gods.

#high analysis #tumblr #high texts #highposting #420 #what does this mean #why did it fly into my head #my thoughts #thoughts #writing #stories #storytelling #religion

[exerpts-from-the-teenage-mind]

What do you MEAN you've never thought about your gender or sexuality before??? You just believe what people tell you about yourself with absolutely zero introspection???

#gender #sexuality #introspection #concept of self #self

[exerpts-from-the-teenage-mind]

All of my life is drawing comparisons. I wish it was an art, like drawing pictures. I'd be so good at it. I AM so good at it. But I don't want to be. All I can think about is whether or not I measure up to other people. Whether I can surpass them. Even in writing. I think about how other people can write better settings, convey visual effects so well. Some can write flawless academic papers. Myriads of people doing better than me in so many ways. Why on earth is this where I get my sense of worth from?

#sense of worth #my thoughts #thoughts #writing #comparison

[exerpts-from-the-teenage-mind]

We just sit around swapping brain cells with each other. Good for us.

#swapping brain cells #brain cells #communication #my thoughts #thoughts #high thoughts #highposting

[exerpts-from-the-teenage-mind]

A nice way I've been able to bring myself to social events that in the past would have stressed me out is thinking about everything as research. It's not terribly difficult, as I fancy myself a writer. Instead of worrying about having a good time, I focus on learning and experiencing as many new things as I can. It makes me more likely to ask questions, which in turn gets me more involved. I have something to say to anyone who might approach me. Sometimes changing the way you think about things really does work.

#my thoughts #thoughts #high thoughts #highposting #writing #changing the way you think #research #new experiences #social events

[exerpts-from-the-teenage-mind]

The thing I'm really looking for in someone's dating profile is "will we have something to talk about" That covers interesting bios, pictures, and prompt answers. If I don't see something of interest it's a left swipe or a no thank you. Why would I want to interact with someone who I don't find stimulating?

#dating thoughts #dating #dating apps #my thoughts #thoughts #high thoughts #highposting #writing

[exerpts-from-the-teenage-mind]

When I worked with children who had behavioral issues what really got me was how fucking angry they all were. And they had so much to be angry about! And like okay, I was only in there for a day and I came in at a point where the everyday routine was already established. The kids already had their little habits and the adults already had their regular predictable reactions.

All I really did was listen to the kids talk. I wasn't really needed and no one gave me any tasks to do or engaged me in much conversation. The kids barely seemed to notice my presence. Only one even asked me who I was.

The two things that stood out to me the most was one kid telling the story about how his dad didn't let him go to a party because he was sent to swim camp. The thing he found truly an injustice is that the reason he wouldn't swim is because his father traumatized him by throwing him into the ocean when he was younger and he almost drowned.

The other thing was that his friend had a coin collection and all he wanted to really do was talk about coins. A smarter teaching assistant tried to engage him in math by using coins as the subject. He asked all the teachers, including me, if any of us had a specific coin (we did not).

I couldn't do anything for the first kid except wince in sympathy and fervently agree when a teacher said that sounded horrible. I wondered if his behavioral issues were because his dad was an abusive assfuck. I wondered if all the teachers were aware but couldn't do much about it because the job they were tasked with was to educate him and help him control his behaviors, not tell him that his behaviors are completely understandable and that he doesn't deserve to be treated like that.

The other kid, I brought him coins two days later. I had a Canadian penny and a ten arugot lying on my dresser that I'd never known what to do with. I tried to give it to one of the teaching assistants to give to him before classes started and she asked if she could wait until he got there so that she could take him on a trip down the hall to the classroom I was working in that day and I could give them to him myself. When I held them out to him he was fucking overjoyed. He asked if I was sure and I said of course. I don't collect coins, but you do. He asked if he could hug me and of course I said yes. I was struck by how this kid, known for yelling and anger and misbehaving asked me if it was okay before he touched me. I almost cried at how happy and grateful he was, when it was nothing to me at all.

Thankfully it happened to be a really good classroom. The teachers were pretty effective and good at diffusing tense situations. I watched the lead teacher communicate with a kid who'd gone nonverbal with rage with a dry erase board and marker until he felt better. And of course, they knew how fucking kind these kids could be and let me see it too.

#behaviors #my thoughts #original writing #mine #my writing #school #teaching #substitute teaching #classroom #behavioral issues #behavioral disorders

[exerpts-from-the-teenage-mind]

My relationships have changed SO much with healing. As a child I did not respect people's boundaries well, if at all. Now I recognize what are acceptable ways to treat people and what aren't.

I always hated my younger self though. Wanted to deck that irritating creep in the face. But then it was pointed out to me that I didn't exactly have anyone modeling healthy behaviors for me. Of course I didn't respect boundaries. I didn't know that boundaries were a thing to respect since mine weren't being respected. A few different people needed to tell me that before I really heard and understood it, but I did manage to get there.

Now instead of looking back on my younger self with anger, I use compassion. It's made it a lot easier to be compassionate to people who aren't me, too.

#my thoughts #recovery #boundaries #tw childhood trauma #trauma

[exerpts-from-the-teenage-mind]

If you point out positive things equal or more to how often you're pointing out negative things then you're not negative, you're just making observations.

#observations #my thoughts #thoughts #high thoughts #highposting

[exerpts-from-the-teenage-mind]

My entire thought process is a loop of "Oh! That's just like [very vaguely familiar situation that starts a completely different thread of thought]" and on and on and on.

#metacognition #my thoughts #thoughts #writing #high thoughts #highposting

[exerpts-from-the-teenage-mind]

Love and Trust are power. Not just to the person it's granted to but also to the one who wields it.

#love #love and trust are power #trust #original #original writing #my thoughts #high thoughts #highposting #thoughts

[exerpts-from-the-teenage-mind]

I think one of the most powerful things we have the ability to do is to trust in people to get better. Pity not very many people use it.

#original #original writing #my thoughts #high thoughts #highposting #thoughts #writing #love and trust are power

[exerpts-from-the-teenage-mind]

If I don't write out the unhinged people in my brain I will become the unhinged people in my brain.

#original #original writing #my thoughts #my writing #thoughts #high thoughts #highposting #unhinged people

[exerpts-from-the-teenage-mind]

Listen. I love fucked up relationships in my stories. I love to read about a soulless monster who kidnaps and tortures and brainwashes and breaks someone into falling in love with them. I want to see them affected by their victims inherent goodness anyways and get better. Watch them get torn to pieces with grief over how they hurt something so precious, they damaged the only one who they've ever loved irreparably.

#fucked up relationships #fiction #original writing #my thoughts #thoughts #writing #high thoughts #highposting